#a whole four days later: hi this is official from [college] we do not accept transcripts via email <3 a highschool official has to upload i

[maddogmp3]

i hate schools and colleges and im going to [LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER] im gonna fucking scream

[inkskinned]

she's three years younger than i am, and i put on cascada as a throwback, cackling - before your time! i've been borrowing my brother's car, and it's older than dirt, so the trunk is like, maybe permanently locked. when the sun comes through the window to frame her cheekbones, i feel like i'm 16 again. i shake when i'm kissing her, worried i won't get it right.

in 2003, my state made gay marriage legal. where she grew up, it wasn't legal until 11 years later - 10 years ago. if legal protections for gay marriage were a person, that person would be entering 5th grade. online, a white gay man calls the fight for legal marriage boring, which isn't kind of him but it is a common enough opinion.

it has only been 9 years since gay marriage was nationally official. it is already boring to have gay people in your tv. it is already boring to mention being gay - "why make it your entire personality?" i know siblings that have a larger age gap than the amount of time it's been legally protected. i recently saw a grown man record himself crying about how evil gay people are. he was begging us, red in the face - just do better.

i am absolutely ruined any time my girlfriend talks about being 27 (i know!! a child!), but we actually attended undergrad at the same time since i had taken off time to work between high school and college. while walking through the city, we drop our hands, try not to look too often at each other. the other day i went to an open mic in a basement. the headlining comedian said being lesbian isn't interesting, but i am a lesbian, if you care. as a joke, she had any lesbian raise their hand if present. i raised mine, weirdly embarrassed at being the single hand in a sea of other faces. she had everyone give me a round of applause. i felt something between pride and also throwing up.

sometimes one thing is also another thing. i keep thinking about my uncle. he died in the hospital without his husband of 35 years - they were not legally wed, so his husband could not enter. this sounds like it should be from 1950. it happened in 2007. harassment and abuse and financial hardship still follow any person who is trying to get married while disabled. marriage equality isn't really equal yet.

and i don't know that i can ever put a name to what i'm experiencing. sometimes it just feels... so odd to watch the balance. people are fundamentally uninterested in your identity, but also - like, there's a whole fucking bastion of rabid men and women who want to kill you. your friends roll their eyes you're gay we get it and that is funny but like. when you asked your father do you still love me? he just said go to your room. you haven't told your grandmother. disney is on their 390th "first" gay representation, but also cancelled owl house and censored the fuck out of gravity falls. you actively got bullied for being gay, but your advisor told you to find a different gimmick for your college essay - everyone says they're gay these days.

once while you were having a hard day you cried about the fact that the reason our story is so fucking boring to so many people is that it is so similar. that it is rare for one of us to just, like, have a good experience across the board. that our stories often have very parallel bends - the dehumanization, the trauma, the trouble with trusting again. these become rote instead of disgusting. how bad could it be if it is happening to so many people?

i kiss my girlfriend when nobody is looking. i like her jawline and how her hands splay when she's making a joke. there is nothing new about this story, sappho. i love her like opening up the sun. like folding peace between the layers of my life, a buttercream of euphoria, freckles and laughter and wonder.

my dad knows about her. i've been out to him since i was 18 - roughly four years before the supreme court would protect us. the other day he flipped down the sun visor while driving me to the eye doctor. "you need to accept that your body was made for a husband. you want to be a mother because you were made for men, not women." he wants me to date my old high school boyfriend. i gagged about it, and he shook his head. he said - "don't be so dramatic. you can get used to anything."

the other day a straight friend of mine snorted down her nose about it, accidentally echoing him - she said there are bigger problems in this world than planning a wedding.

[dollyyun]

𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍𝒔 | chap 14

SYPNOSIS: wherein Hwang Stella's life is tangled in a predicament involving her clandestine identity as a racer, her seemingly daily life as the official heir to the Hwang Empire, and seven guys with whom she has a complex history with.

PAIRING: enhypen members x fem oc.

GENRE: 18+ (mdni), reverse harem, chaebols, semi-college & racing, eventual adulthood, non-idol au, eventual enha being f1 drivers, multiple pov (this fic is written in first pov).

WARNINGS: expletives, heartbreaks.

WORD COUNT: 8k+

TAGLIST: @aishigrey @kgneptun

🍒 MASTERLIST 🍒

Four years ago, everything crumbled when my father forced me to quit racing and forced me into a marriage with his business partner's daughter. Since I had little control over my life at that point in time, I chose to ruin my friendship with the guys as well as Stella. I messed up everything with them and chose to leave them without any closure.

There hasn't been a day where I don't regret hurting Stella that night at the gala. The look on her face haunts me, even in my slumber. If I could, I would want to make things right with the people I left behind.

After my family and I moved to London, I lived my life in blue, and I wasn't the same, especially whenever my father forced me to spend my day with the woman I would be marrying. On the other hand, she felt the same way as I did, as she, too, had to leave the love of her life. It was torturous, and my heart ached in yearning for things to be the way they used to. I missed my best friends, I missed Stella, and above all, I missed racing.

I even had plans to make racing a permanent career. My father, he's the catalyst for everything that went wrong in my life. I hated him. My mother, who miraculously recovered, pleaded with my father not to control and dictate my life. He didn't relent, as expected from a cold-blooded man, but he had no idea how determined I was to gain control of my life.

The week before the wedding day, I had a talk with his business partner and offered him a great deal, thanks to my business management expertise. Thankfully, he accepted, and thus, I no longer needed to marry his daughter. It certainly wasn't an easy journey, especially when my father was the reason behind my fucked-up mental health.

My father didn't speak or glance at me after what happened. My mother tried to talk to him, but my father wouldn't budge. I took his silence as finally getting to do whatever I wanted, and so I pursued my racing venture.

Months later, I entered the F1 industry, where I had to go through such tribulations to get to where I am now. It took me a whole year to earn myself a spot. Thus, I am now a professional Formula One driver.

Aston Martin. The team I am on and represent. I am blessed to have such an incredible, supportive team. I couldn't have made it without them. Even though I am surrounded by genuine, great people, it still isn't enough to fill the void in my heart. The void that only certain individuals can fill.

My eyes harden with resolution as I pour all of my emotions into the practice, and my hands are coordinating the functions. I've been spending an hour or so in the driving simulator, where we practice before heading outside to race on the circuit. I guess I must've been practicing relentlessly as I hear somebody calling my name.

"Jungwon!" The team principal, who goes by Steven, approaches me. "You've been at it for hours, son! Finish the last lap and go for a break!" I know he means well, but I really don't feel like it. Especially when there is a high chance of me seeing my best friends.

After what happened two nights ago, when I heard everything from them at the communal party, I didn't know how to act or what to feel. But I know for a fact that I've missed out on a lot.

Eventually, I yield as I force myself to finish the last lap. I remove my hand gloves with a sigh before rising from my seat. I turn around just to meet Steven, who is looking at me with concern. "Are you alright, son? I've never seen you like that."

I give him a tight smile. "I'm just pushing myself to get a perfect result for the Grand Prix."

Steven places his hand on my shoulder firmly. "I know you want to win, but don't push yourself too hard. The Grand Prix isn't happening until two months later. You still have a lot of time to practice. I don't want my best driver to fall sick."

"Got it." I nod my head, and that is enough to satisfy him before he walks away. I glance at the simulator room, where there are some drivers from different teams who have just started practicing.

Since all of the other teams are involved in the Grand Prix that will happen in Brooklyn, we are required to attend and gather at the same headquarters, which is one of the largest headquarters in the US, including practicing at the same arena.

Disappointment befalls me as I don't see any familiar faces. Even so, I don't know if I have the right to feel that way. Surely, they must be feeling resentful towards me. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

I stop dead in my tracks as soon as I lock eyes with Jay, just when I'm about to head to the automat. He's not alone. By his side is Sunoo. Initially, I didn't expect all of them to end up being F1 drivers, but what I didn't expect most was the fact that they were all separated into different teams.

It struck me deeply that I have indeed missed out on a lot.

I clench my jaw and look away from him before proceeding to walk past them. How could I ever speak to him normally after leaving them?

"Jungwon, wait." Jay speaks up, making me freeze on the spot. Swallowing down hard, I turn around to meet his eyes one more time. "How are you doing?"

I definitely didn't expect him to ask such a question. Even Sunoo appears surprised by Jay's inquiry, but the latter maintains eye contact with me.

"I don't know," I answer honestly. I can't help it. With Jay, I feel the need to be honest. "But I'm alive, so....." I manage a smile, though a bitter one.

"Why did you leave the way you did?" Sunoo steps forward, his eyes hardening, but even I can see that he yearns to be the way we were. "You didn't even give us closure. We would've understood the position you were in. I thought you were our best friend."

The atmosphere feels heavy. My heart aches tremendously upon knowing that I have hurt more than one person. I look down, feeling ashamed and regretful. "I'm sorry." I say quietly. "I didn't have control of my life back then, and I've been through so much. I know that such excuses don't justify my actions, but just know that I regret everything."

There is a protracted silence before I hear footsteps approaching me. As I look up, I am startled when Sunoo lands a punch on my shoulder, though the impact is not hard. He looks at me with glistening eyes. "You fool. We've missed you so much."

The backs of my eyes burn. "How could you have missed me after what I've done?"

"Because we know you, Jungwon." Jay places his hand firmly on my shoulder. "Shit happened in life, I get it."

Thinking of all the hardships I've been through reopens my wound. Before I know it, Jay embraces me in a hug, with Sunoo joining in. I allow my tears to flow freely as I cling to them. My best friends, who were like my brothers.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Jay and Sunoo reveal everything to me, not missing out on any details. Everything, including the major incident four years ago by Hwang Minhyuk. I'm genuinely shocked when they also reveal that they nearly lost Heeseung, as he sustained a fatal injury to his stomach. Then they proceeded to tell me about Stella and her sudden disappearance from their lives.

To say I've missed out on a lot is an understatement.

I rub my face while a headache begins to grow. "So what happens with Stella now? I heard everything the other night, by the way."

Sunoo and Jay exchange glances before Jay speaks up. "I have no idea. She made it clear to us that she didn't want to see us anymore."

"Which is impossible since we now know that she works in the same industry as us." Sunoo adds with a sigh. "We will probably be seeing her more now. I heard from someone that she's an external travel manager."

I look at them with watchful eyes. "Do you guys love her? I'm not talking about the friend kind of love."

"I do. I really do." Jay mutters, his eyes downcast. "As much as I want to move on from her, my heart can't seem to do that."

I look at Sunoo, whose face is unreadable. "I mean, Stella and I were nothing." He says. "Sure, I voluntarily took part in our parents' schemes, but it's hard not to like her with our moments spent." He fiddles with his fingers. "I even had affection for her."

"Great. Not only do we compete in racing, but we compete for her heart as well." I chuckle dryly.

"There is no competition when she tells herself to forget her." Sunoo frowns. "She clearly hates us now."

"Maybe, or maybe not." I shrug my shoulders. "If she hates us, why did she chase after me the first time we met days ago?"

"She chased you?" Jay asks.

"Yeah. I was just buying an iced Americano at some cafe." I tell him as I recall. "I was just heading to meet my team after buying when she called for me from behind. Then she asked about how I was doing and etcetera."

"Still, she looked at us as if we were her enemies." Sunoo counters. "I don't want her to hate us any more than she does now if we decide to chase her."

I open my mouth to speak, but a familiar voice interjects. "Did somebody say 'chase her'?"

I turn around just to see Heeseung and Jake, both in the same gearing suit since they are on the same team after all. Their eyes don't seem to be surprised to see me.

"Jungwon." Heeseung greets me warmly, while I feel wary. He doesn't look like he hates me, but I can't be too sure.

"Heeseung, Jake." I greet them awkwardly.

To my great surprise, Jake engulfs me in a hug—a tight one at that. "I've missed you so much, man." Jake pats my back before he pulls away with a smile on his face. I begin to relax my muscles.

"Jungwon, it's good to have you back." Heeseung pats my shoulder firmly, but I don't hesitate to hug him while my heart aches in a good way. Even though we're incomplete, this is enough to fill the void in my heart.

"We can catch up later." Heeseung tells me before his eyes drift to Jay and Sunoo. "Now what is it about chasing after Stella?"

"We didn't!" Sunoo exclaims. "We were just saying that if we decided to chase Stella."

"Too late. We've already made up our minds." Jake grins. "We have a new mission now."

My pulse thrums in anticipation. "And what does the new mission entail?"

"It's simple. All we have to do is make her fall in love with us all over again." Heeseung answers calmly. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm not about to let her go for the second time."

"I'm in." Jay steps forward. "Like Heeseung said, do we really want to let our precious girl go when the opportunity is open?"

Although no one speaks up, one thing is for sure is that we have collectively agreed on the idea. Maybe we can't mend anything that is broken with her, but we can try to make her like us again, or even love. I will be damned if I don't try anything. Heck, I'm willing to wait for her love, even if it takes years.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

I didn't get an ounce of sleep last night. I kept tossing and turning with a lot of things on my mind. One of them was about Stella. I can't say that I'm confident in getting her to love me back, but I'm willing to try anything. Now that I've taken control over my life, no one can stop me from doing whatever I want, including pursuing Stella.

The thunderous blaring abruptly pulls me out of the trance, prompting me to focus on the view of familiar vehicles speeding on the stupendous circuit. I stand alongside some of the people on my team with my arms crossed over my chest while I focus on watching my opponents as they compete against each other.

Today, all of the drivers are required to attend and participate in the trials. Not only do we need to participate in the trials, but we also need to test out the new vehicles that are given to us. We do not want any last-minute enhancements or even to risk any accidents, all because the new vehicles turn out to be incompetent.

Right, I have to focus. It'll be my turn next.

However, my ears perk up at the familiar feminine voice, to which I can't help but avert my gaze from the circuit. My gaze lands on Stella, who is speaking with Steven while she appears to be holding a blue clipboard in her grasp.

Since I'm only a few feet away from them, I decide to eavesdrop. They are discussing business matters. I bite my lips, debating whether I should include myself in their conversation or not.

Before I know it, I am already approaching them. Stella's eyes meet mine, and at once, the smile on her face falters.

Steven turns to the side and greets me with a delightful smile, oblivious to the tension between Stella and me. "Jungwon! I'm sure you haven't had the pleasure to meet Stella!"

"We haven't." Stella says tersely, and she smiles once more, but even I can tell how fake her smile is. "I'm Hwang Stella."

So this is how she wants to play.

I raise my eyebrow while my lips are threatening to form a smirk, and they do. "It's nice meeting you, Stella." I extend my palm to her, and she has no choice but to play along. As soon as she places her hand on my palm, I grip it firmly before raising it to my lips and planting a kiss on her knuckles. I maintain unwavering eye contact with her. "Jungwon."

I can see the way she deflates a little, as if my mere gesture has an impact on her. I hold her hand a little longer before slowly releasing it. Thankfully, Steven is still oblivious to the way he acts.

"Stella here has been working for this organisation for a year, and yet, her work is remarkable!" Steven praises her, and I feel my chest swell with pride for her. "She'll be working alongside other managers for this upcoming Grand Prix, and she'll have to work closely with you lads."

The smirk on my lips still persists while I don't look away from her cold yet wavering eyes. "I look forward to working closely with you, Stella."

"Jungwon! You're up next!" That's my cue.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Sweats trickle down my skin as the air feels hot, while my hands are expertly operating the functions with my muscles flexing every now and then. A muscle pulses in my jaw as my eyes harden, having no intention of losing against my opponents, even though some of them turn out to be my best friends.

Though this is only a trial, I can't afford to lose and disappoint my team. Aston Martin was placed fourth at the previous Grand Prix, and I won't allow my team to fail once more. Other than that, I can't deny that I also want to impress Stella, if she is even watching.

"Shit!" I cuss lowly as soon as the brake doesn't seem to be working. Not only is the brake malfunctioning, but so is the steering wheel.

I look in the rearview mirror, noticing Sunghoon, Heeseung, and Sunoo catching up to me. As much as I want to cross over the finishing line first, I don't want to risk involving them in an accident. And so, as my vehicle is gradually flailing, I use my full strength as I grip the steering wheel tightly, turning it to the side while the screeching sound brings a grimace to my face.

Alas, the back of my vehicle hits the fences, prompting my body to jolt from the abrupt impact. Thankfully, it has come to a stop, but the damage has been done. This vehicle has failed me. Such incompetence.

I step out of the vehicle before removing my helmet roughly while a scowl etches my face. I hear footsteps rushing towards me as I look at the damage that has been done.

"What happened?" Steven asks, looking at me worriedly.

"The brake and steering wheel failed me." I run my fingers through my hair in frustration. "This has never happened. Did the mechanic team even do their fucking job?"

"Relax, son." Steven attempts to calm me down. "I understand that you're angry, but─"

I cut him off with a cold chuckle. "Angry? I'm more than angry. This could've happened at the actual Grand Prix! We've already been humiliated when we lost on the last Grand Prix, now this?"

"Jungwon, calm down." I feel a firm hand on my shoulder. Jay. I didn't even realise that he was here. "It was an accident no one expected."

"Yeah, an accident that could happen the next time." I snarl at him, too enraged to care. "Get the mechanic team to do their fucking job or else find somebody else that is competent enough." I don't wait for any of their responses as I proceed to walk away. Every muscle on my body feels tense while my mind is going haywire.

This is the first time I ever blew up. Even Steven looked genuinely shocked by my outburst. But I take my job seriously, even if it's only a trial. There can never be errors.

My eyes accidentally meet Stella's briefly, and I catch a glimpse of concern in her eyes. I look away from her and decide to head further inside. I don't even have the guts to face her, as I feel embarrassed by the prior incident. I wonder what she thinks of me.

"Jungwon."

My ears must be deceiving me, because why am I hearing her voice?

"Jungwon, stop." Maybe my mind is not playing tricks on me after all. The moment her hand latches around my wrist, I turn around to face her with an eyebrow raised, but she appears to be looking down with a worried expression on her face.

"Your hand is bleeding." She mutters, and I look down to see blood dripping down from my fingers. I must've been too distracted to realise that the wound on my hand is from the prior incident.

Before I can say anything, Stella drags me with her while I am too stunned by the fact that she still cares. We end up in the medical bay, with me sitting quietly on a bench while Stella asks for some aid.

"Give me your hand." Stella orders as she sits next to me. I place my hand on her palm and watch as she wraps the wound on my hand with a white bandage.

"Don't be mistaken." She murmurs, not meeting my eyes after she's done. "This is me taking care of you because you're one of my responsibilities in my line of work."

"You can't fool me, Stel." I hold her hand just before she can rise from her seat. She has no choice but to look me in the eyes. "I saw the way you looked worried for me."

Conflict resides in her gaze. "Jungwon─"

"Don't be mean to me again." I say softly, bringing her hand closer to my face before placing her palm on my cheek. With my hand on top of hers, I lean into her palm, which feels cold against my cheek. I flutter my eyes close, relishing the familiarity of her touch. "Don't push me away again."

"But I must, Jungwon." I can discern how weak she sounds. "You're better off without me."

"Do you really believe that?" I flutter my eyelids open and meet her wavering gaze. I lean my body closer to her with her hand still on my cheek. "I'm miserable without you, but for you, I'm willing to wait."

"Jungwon." Stella appears defeated. I take her by surprise by placing a soft, lingering kiss on her palm before holding her hand tenderly.

"Give me a chance, Stella." I say. "Give me a chance to prove that I'm worthy of your love."

She doesn't say anything, but pain reflects in her beautiful eyes as I place one last kiss on her palm. 

Hwang Stella is not my ex-girlfriend. She's right. We weren't anything beyond friends. But she is definitely an ex-something. We even kissed and got intimate at one point, and I recall that I've grown addicted to her.

In the beginning, I was only close to her in order to fulfil my duty. I had no idea that I would end up regretting it. I guess I can say for the rest of my best friends that there is no one more regrettable than me. Sure, I did grow fond of Stella and even grew to like her more than a friend, but love? I don't even know if my feelings for her can be called love. Or maybe I'll just have to find out if I really do love her.

With my eyes lingering on her face, a frown tugs at my lips as I notice how lethargy she looks. Words have been going around that the managers are working twice as hard as usual, and that includes Stella. I feel hesitant to approach her and start a conversation, and I'm only a few feet away from where she is.

I grip the bottle in my grasp, which I have just bought from the vending machine. My heart aches at the noticeable weariness written on her delicate features. You know what? Who cares if she might hate me more? I can't stand to see her get overworked.

Mustering the courage, I approach her with a face devoid of emotion. She pauses from scribbling on her paperwork before slowly raising her head to meet my eyes. Her eyes widen in surprise for a fleeting moment.

"Is there anything you need?" She asks, displaying her professionalism.

Instead of responding to her query, I place the mineral bottle in front of her before sliding my hands into my pockets. "Here. It's for you." I try my best to remain as nonchalant as I can, despite how my heart is pounding hard against my chest. "You've been working too hard lately. I didn't even see you taking a break."

Stella raises her eyebrow at me. "So you've been watching me all day?"

"No." I answer quickly. "It's just that you obviously look exhausted. You know it's fine to take a little breather. Your work can wait."

Stella deflates, and the coldness she emits dissipates. Her lips press together thinly. "Why are you doing this, Sunoo?"

"It's simple, really." I shrug my shoulders. "Because I care about you."

"Well, you shouldn't." Stella says bitterly. "I don't even care about you, at least not anymore."

I ignore the stinging pain in my chest, but I manage a small smile while my gaze softens. "It's fine that you no longer care about me, darling. I love you enough to still care about you, and that is more than enough for me."

The 'L' word itself just came out of me without a second thought. I see the way her eyes widen once more. I clear my throat in an awkward manner as I rub my nape sheepishly. "Don't forget to eat your meals and have at least a rest. I don't want you to fall sick."

"Sunoo─"

But I don't listen to her words any longer as I make my way back to the garage. All the while, my cheeks feel warm from my affirmation that I do, in fact, love her.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

I know for a fact that I can never compete against my best friends. Even if Stella were to choose any of us, she certainly wouldn't choose me. So it is pointless for me to try to win her heart when she would never spare a glance in my way.

My grip on the steering wheel tightens as I pour my pent-up emotions into finishing the last few laps before I call it a night. The rest of the drivers are nowhere to be found, including my team. I choose to practice a little longer, but eventually the skies are painted in the dark.

I pull up in the garage before switching off the ignition. As I step out of the vehicle, I remove my helmet and ruffle my dishevelled locks. I guess I've pushed myself too hard to the point where all my muscles are aching tremendously.

I drape the small towel over my shoulder after wiping off my sweat. I proceed to make my way back to my locker, but halt my steps when Stella is in my line of sight, just a few feet away.

I raise my eyebrow at her. "You haven't gone home."

"I was working overtime." She tells me curtly, but her eyes seem to be examining me before they soften. "Practices were long since over, and yet you're still here."

A smirk touches my lips. "I was practicing overtime." I drawl. "But you, on the other hand...." I take steps forward, though cautious enough not to alarm her.

She frowns. "Me?"

"Yes, you." I stop directly in front of her, our eye contact unwavering. "I told you not to overwork yourself, did I not?"

Defiance glimmers in her eye. "I don't take orders from you."

"Still stubborn as ever." I tut, deciding to be bold when I grip her chin gently. "What should I do with you, darling?"

"You can start by not touching me." Sarcasm drips into her tone. "And you're as demanding as ever."

I release her chin, though I'm tempted to hold her for a little longer. "Nothing's changed, then."

"No. Something's changed, and that is whatever we had before." Stella says firmly, but a glimpse of pain flickers in her eyes. "We're no longer friends, Sunoo."

"Then tell me this. Did I mean something to you?" Desperation is discernible, and I no longer give a damn. "We even kissed and got intimate before. Friends don't do that."

"But we were nothing." Stella counters, almost deflating. "I was not even your girlfriend. Sure, we did things that friends don't do, but that's just it." Her breath hitches in her throat. "Besides, you weren't even sincere in the beginning."

"I admit that I was in the wrong." I don't hesitate to raise my hand and cradle her face tenderly. "But along the way, you managed to weasel your way into my heart. I did genuinely care for you, Stella." I can see tears glistening in her eyes. "Call it what you want, but we were definitely an ex-something."

"I hated you when I found out about your ulterior motive towards me." Her voice cracks, displaying her vulnerability to me. "I was hurt, because I thought I meant something to you after the moments we've spent and your witty yet sweet words to me."

"Then allow me to give you the long-awaited apology." I say softly while I gently brush away the fallen teardrop on her cheek. "I'm so, so sorry. I shouldn't have agreed to take part in my parents' schemes."

"You bad guy." Her lips quiver in sadness while she attempts to throw weak punches at my chest. "I even trusted you."

"I know, darling. For that, I'm terribly sorry as well." The space between us is almost nonexistent. I don't hold myself back from placing a tender kiss on her forehead with my hand cradling the side of her face.

"You were one of the people I held dearly in my heart." Stella tells me in between soft sobs while I still hold her close.

"Then tell me, how do I make it up to you?" I ask gently as I cup her cheeks, prompting her to look at me in the eyes. "How do I earn a spot back in your heart?"

"You can't." Stella says weakly. "I can't allow any of you to get closer to me again."

"Why not?"

"Because," She pauses, hesitation resides in her gaze before the pain returns. "Because no matter how deep the betrayal was, I still care and love you enough to put you out of danger's way." It feels as though her confession stole my breath away.

"What do you mean, Stella?" I ask after I recovered. My eyes are firm. "Danger? I don't understand."

Stella shakes her head. "Please, Sunoo. Don't make this harder for me."

My jaw clenches. "You don't seem to understand that I don't have any intention of letting you go."

"You must." Tears fall from her eyes once more. "It's the only way."

"No. There is a way." I murmur, my face leaning close to her, until my lips stop just an inch from hers. But I don't kiss her, no matter how tempting it is. "You're hiding something, darling." I whisper, and the way she visibly flinches is enough for me to confirm my suspicion. "But I don't want to force you to answer. So I'll wait until you're ready."

Reluctantly, I release and turn my back on her, forcing myself to walk away from her despite how my heart is aching and yearning to return to her.

It has been exactly a week since the confrontation at the communal party happened, a week since I declared that I hated her. I didn't even mean to tell her that, but I was too blinded by the betrayal, sadness, and resentment of her disappearance. So to see her again after four long years, especially in NYC out of all the places, hit me like a whiplash.

I recall when I first saw her that night, and I was relieved to see her looking healthy. She hasn't changed a bit, with the exception of her new, stark raven hair. She still looks beautiful, but there is a certain ambience exuding from her. It was almost as if she had been through so much here.

Now that my mind is set straight, I can't help but resent myself for telling her that I hated her. I admit that I hated when she left without a goodbye or closure, but my feelings for her have always remained the same.

I rub my face as I groan. I can't believe what an idiotic fool I was that night. I need to apologise to her and explain to her that I didn't mean it. But how do I even approach her without making things awkward?

"Alright, let's wrap it up!" Our team's principal concludes the meeting, prompting me to rise from my seat and make my way out of the meeting room. Sunghoon follows suit as well.

Three years ago, my parents and his parents joined forces in regards to business matters. They were required to travel abroad to London, and they decided to bring Sunghoon and me along, which meant that we would have to not only leave our best friends behind but our racing ventures as well.

A month after settling in London, Sunghoon and I discovered a recruitment opening by the Red Bull. As we've always been fans of Formula One racing, we decided to sign up. Surprisingly, our parents were supportive and allowed us to do whatever we wanted.

I know for a fact that my parents felt guilty after what happened and that they witnessed my worst when Stella disappeared. They even apologised for not being the parents I needed. Though the improvement in our relationship is minuscule, I no longer resent them as much as I used to.

"Jay just texted me. He asked if we could accompany him somewhere." Sunghoon informs me without tearing his gaze off his phone as we await the elevator to open. "Do you want to follow?"

"You guys go ahead." I say as we finally enter the elevator. "I intend to head back and resume my sleep."

Sunghoon simply shakes his head at me before he bids me goodbye as he steps out of the elevator. My hand automatically touches my pocket, but as soon as I feel it empty, my eyes widen. I cuss lowly as I recall that I left something of mine in the meeting room.

I press on the prior floor, but the elevator keeps on going until it reaches the first floor. I can only afford to wait impatiently with a scowl on my face. I lean my back against the wall with my arms crossed over my chest while the elevator chimes.

As it opens, my heart almost stops beating when her eyes meet mine. I manage to get a good look at her face before she immediately steps inside. Her face looks paler than usual, and her lips are slightly chapped. Though she is trying to maintain her composure, I can see how her body appears to be trembling while she hunches over once in a while. My ears perk up at the sound of her audible yet soft whimper.

"Stella." I slowly approach her from behind while she visibly flinches.

"Riki." She greets me curtly, and just the sound of her voice is enough to let me know that she is obviously unwell.

"Are you okay?" I ask, standing next to her with my eyes fixated on her side profile.

Her lips quiver as she releases shaky breaths, still refusing to look at me. "I'm fine."

"No, you're obviously not." I retort firmly. "Why did you even come to work when you're sick? You should've stayed at home instead."

"What's it to you, even?" She asks tersely. "You said so yourself that you hated me, yet why are you reprimanding me for coming to work?"

I curl my hand into a first. "Because I've never stopped caring─"

Stella's whimper cuts me off, and the next thing I know, she loses her balance as she stumbles forward when she hunches, but I am swift enough to catch her on time, holding her against me. Her body trembles beneath my touch.

"What's wrong?" I ask, and panic expands in my chest as I look down at her pale face. She is breaking into cold sweats while her pants leave her lips as she leans dependently on me. 

"It hurts." She seems to be holding her abdomen, and she whimpers once more. "I can't take it."

"That's it. I'm sending you back to your place." Effortlessly, I carry her in a bridal style and press on the first-level button.

"But I have work." She weakly protests as she leans her head on my shoulder. She whimpers and moans in pain, her body shifting in an uncomfortable manner. I now realise that there is a reason why she has been holding her abdomen and squirming occasionally.

"Your health is more important." I tell her sternly, leaving no room for argument before we finally step out of the elevator. She doesn't say anything and allows herself to fall utterly weak in my arms.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Stella is already settled in, with her body now curling on the couch and a white duvet covering her trembling form. Earlier, I had carried her all the way until we reached her apartment. She even insisted that she could walk, but I didn't listen because it was obvious that her cramps were unbearable.

As I carefully sit next to her, my gaze never leaves her pale face. "Here." I give her the heating pad I found in her kitchen. She mutters a feeble thanks as she grabs it before placing it on her abdomen.

I sigh. "Were your cramps always this bad?"

"Yeah." She answers weakly, flickering her eyes at me. "I appreciate your help. You can leave now."

"No." I frown. "I'm not about to leave your side, especially when you're this weak."

She heaves a sigh before carefully sitting up. "I want to lie on my bed." She tells me curtly as she stands, but she goes wobbly once more.

Without a word, I automatically carry her once more and make my way to her room. Pushing the door with my back, I enter her room and head for the bed before carefully settling her down.

"You didn't have to." Her cheeks turn rosier while she looks away from me. "Why are you doing this, Riki? I thought you─" She wavers, her eyes glossy. "I thought you hated me."

I clench my jaw, recalling the other night. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

"Don't apologise. I don't blame you for hating me." The way she looks at me breaks my heart. "You have every right to feel that way."

"I love you, you know?" I murmur, brushing her hair behind her ear. "I still do. I've always loved you."

"Don't." She shakes her head, but before she can back away, I cup her cheek. She looks at me pleadingly. "You're supposed to hate me. You're supposed to get mad at me and ignore me, let me be and leave me to writhe in agony."

"Well, love prevails over hate." I unfurl a soft smile. "Yes, I was mad at you for leaving me, but I know you. You wouldn't leave without a reason."

Her lips quiver. "I can't tell you."

"Then don't." I cradle her face, which seems so small, in between my palms. "But allow me to give you the proper apology you deserved to hear four years ago." I lean my face closer to her, the tips of our noses touch. "I'm so, so sorry for hurting you. I regret choosing racing over you."

A fallen tear cascades down her cheek. "Riki." My name sounds heavenly from her lips.

I flutter my eyes closed as I lean my forehead against hers. "You were everything to me, Stel. Even after being apart for years, my heart refuses to let you go." As I open my eyes, my heart aches at the pained look in her eyes, with tears streaming down relentlessly.

Without thinking, I lean in to place a tender kiss on the corner of her lips and allow my lips to linger on hers. "I don't see myself with anyone else except you. You're the only woman I want to be with for a lifetime."

Stella breaks into waterworks, and I can see how overwhelmed she is, especially when she is on her first day of period. I don't hesitate to pull her into my embrace, holding her close with my arm around her body while the other cupping the back of her head as she rests her head against my chest.

"I love you, Stella." I speak softly beside her ear, and I feel her clinging to my shirt tightly in response, as if she's reciprocating my love.

NI-KI: Thanks again. I'm sorry for the impromptu plan. I'll make it up to you.

JAY: Don't worry about it. It's Stella. You know that when it comes to her, I'd drop everything.

I keep my phone inside my pocket and lift my head up, now standing outside of her apartment. One of my hands is occupied with a brown paper bag containing food and some essentials.

Just this morning, Ni-Ki called me and asked me if I could oversee Stella, as she had been under the weather since yesterday due to her menstrual cramps. He included in the details that she almost fainted when they were in the elevator together yesterday.

Initially, I had plans with the rest of my team members to hang out at one of the finest bars here, but upon being alerted by Ni-Ki about Stella ailing, I decided to cancel my plans and wasted no time heading to the nearest pharmacy and buying some food that would be good for her body.

I press on the doorbell for the second time and wait patiently for her to open. Minutes have passed, bringing a frown to my face. I don't know why, but my hand finds its way to the door handle and pushes it down. Perturbation churns in my tummy as I push open the door.

"Stella?" I call for her, my voice reverberates throughout her apartment. I receive no reply, resulting in the uneasiness within me being tenfold. "Stella?" I enter further into her apartment, briefly examining the exterior and noticing how extensive yet massive the windows in her living room are. Since her apartment is located at the highest level of the building, I can see the skyline of NYC.

I look away from the view and place the paper bag on the dining table. "Stella─"

A faint thud draws my attention, eliciting my eyebrows to pull together while my heart is beating at an uneven pace. I don't waste time and hasten to the source of the sound, which leads me to her room. The moment my eyes land on her figure, mortification hits me with a jarring sensation.

"Stella!" I run towards her unmoving figure, lying on the floor. My hands are on her shoulders, and I bring her upper body to rest on mine. Her hair is slightly damp, denoting that she must've finished showering not too long ago.

"Baby." The endearment I used to call her slips past my lips as I look down at her face. I frantically brush strands of her locks from sticking to her face as perspiration sheens on her skin. Her eyes remain closed while her lips look chapped and pale, but as soon as a whimper elicits from the back of her throat, I feel relieved for a brief moment. "Stella, can you hear me?" I ask worriedly.

"Jay?" Her voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah, it's me." I whisper, brushing her hair away from her face frame while she slowly flutters her eyes open, and from the way I see it, even opening her eyes seems to be toilsome on her.

Stella's chest heaves up and down slowly, as if she's having difficulty breathing. Her head lolls to the side, with her forehead hitting my chest. "Jay, it hurts so bad." She utters weakly.

"I know, baby." I place a chaste kiss on her crown before moving my hand underneath her knees while the other secures her back. With ease, I carefully carry her in a bridal style and walk towards her bed.

"Why are you here?" She asks languidly as soon as I settle her down. She hunches over to the side, holding her abdomen. "How did you know?"

"Ni-Ki." It appears that his name is sufficient for her question. "I'll be right back."

"Wait." She takes me by surprise when her hand shoots out to grip my wrist. "Don't leave me."

My heart melts at her plea. "I'm not going to leave you. I'm just going to get some essentials for you, okay?"

Stella looks away from my gaze and nods her head sullenly. I'm glad that Ni-Ki requested my help, because right now, Stella looks vulnerable and there is not any ounce of hostility in her eyes, unlike the other night at the communal party.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Stella is compliant throughout the whole time I tend to her. Since she lacks energy, I offer to feed her, and she allows me, though she looks flustered. She occasionally lets out a painful moan and whimpers due to unpleasant cramps, making my heart ache at the sight of her in agony.

"Thank you." Stella says quietly as I remove my jacket and hang it over the rack. I turn my attention to her, noticing that she is avoiding my eye contact once more. "You must've had important things to do other than taking care of me." She murmurs, her hands fiddling with the duvet covering her legs.

I return to her bed and take a seat next to her. A soft smile unfurls on my lips as I tuck her hair behind her ear. "There is nothing more important to me than you." I grip her chin gently yet firmly when I tilt it so I can look at her face. Her crestfallen eyes meet mine. "For you, I'd drop everything."

"Just why?" Her lips quiver while tears glisten in her eyes. "Why don't you hate me after everything that happened? Why are you so─" Her breath hitches in her throat, and a tear has fallen from her eye. "Why are you so kind and gentle to me, still?"

I grab her hand and hold it tenderly. "Stella─"

She cuts me off, urgency and desperation lurk in her tone. "How am I supposed to hate you and push you away when you're being like this?" Never have I ever seen her so defeated. "What did I do to deserve such treatment from you after all I've done to try and make you hate me?"

"Baby." I sigh softly, cradling her face while she weeps rather adorably, which brings a smile to my face.

A sharp sob leaves her lips. "I don't deserve you. I don't deserve any of you."

"It's the opposite, actually." I chuckle lightly, bringing her face close to mine and planting a kiss on her forehead. "After what happened four years ago, I haven't given you a proper apology."

"I've forgiven all of you." She says through hiccups. Her glistening eyes meet mine while her hand places itself on top of mine. "You don't have to apologize. Yes, I felt betrayed, hurt, and furious, but at the end of the day, you were a victim as well."

I hesitate. "But that doesn't justify my actions."

"What matters is that I understood why you did it and why you agreed." She sniffles. "Racing was more important to you than me, a mere girl who was desperate for the scraps of your affections."

"One of the biggest mistakes I've made." I counter firmly. "I should've realised earlier that you're more important to me."

"Jay─"

"I mean it, Stella." My gaze flickers at her lips briefly before returning to gaze into her eyes deeply. "I won't make the same mistake again this time."

"I should be pushing you away right now." She confesses weakly. "I should be hating you, but the truth is, I'm tired. I never knew that trying to hate someone could be exhausting."

"Then don't try anymore." I bump my nose against hers and remain unmoving. "Love me back, Stella." There is a brief silence as I await her response with my heart beating fast.

"I do."

"You do?"

"I've always loved you, Jay." Stella breaks into the waterworks once more. Her hands reach out to cradle the cusps of my jaw. "My love for you has never changed."

With the proximity between our lips, I close the gap and kiss her tenderly. The back of my eyes burns with tears, while my chest blooms as she reciprocates the kiss. Four long years of waiting and yearning are worth it, as the woman of my dreams is finally here.

"I've missed you so much, baby." I rasp against her lips, pulling away from the kiss just slightly. "I'm never letting you go, ever."

"I'm scared, Jay." She says in a broken whisper. "I don't want to lose any of you."

"You won't. I promise." I affirm, my thumb caressing her cheek. "With us, you don't have to be afraid. We'll protect you."

A peculiar emotion flickers in her gaze. "But I want to protect all of you too. What if something happens again? What if─"

I silence her with my lips instead, smiling into the kiss as she gasps cutely. The kiss lasts longer, and this time, it's sweeter than the previous kiss. Eventually, she falls acutely on top of me without breaking the lip lock.

We detach from the kiss and gaze into each other's eyes once more. Her head is now resting on my arms while her hand is twiddling with my fingers on her chest. A soft smile dawns on my lips, relishing this tender moment.

"Does it hurt again?" I ask softly.

"A little bit." She answers, and she scoots further into my chest with her arm slithering its way around my torso. "When I'm close to you like this, the pain is bearable."

"Then be closer. Don't drift away again." I hug her with my hand, massaging the back of her head. I peck her crown before whispering to her affectionately. "I love you, baby."

PREV CHAP | NEXT CHAP

[artielu]

[Yes, this is long, but it is worth your time to read the whole thing.]

January 6, 2021 (Wednesday)

Today the Confederate flag flew in the United States Capitol.

This morning, results from the Georgia senatorial runoff elections showed that Democrats Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff had beaten their Republican opponents—both incumbents—by more than the threshold that would require a recount. The Senate is now split 50-50 between Republicans and Democrats, so the position of majority leader goes to a Democrat. Mitch McConnell, who has bent the government to his will since he took over the position of majority leader in 2007, will be replaced.

With the Democrats in control of both Congress and the Executive Branch, it is reasonable to expect we will see voting rights legislation, which will doom the current-day Republican Party, depending as it has on voter suppression to stay in power.

Trump Republicans and McConnell Republicans had just begun to blame each other for the debacle when Congress began to count the certified electoral votes from the states to establish that Democrat Joe Biden won the 2020 presidential election. The election was not close—Biden won the popular vote by more than 7 million votes and the Electoral College by 306 to 232—but Trump contends that he won the election in a landslide and “fraud” made Biden the winner.

Trump has never had a case. His campaign filed and either lost or had dismissed 62 out of 63 lawsuits because it could produce no evidence for any of its wild accusations. Nonetheless, radical lawmakers courted Trump’s base by echoing Trump’s charges, then tried to argue that the fact voters no longer trusted the vote was reason to contest the certified votes.

More than 100 members of the House announced they would object to counting the votes of certain states. About 13 senators, led by Josh Hawley (R-MO) and Ted Cruz (R-TX), agreed to join them. The move would slow down the count as each chamber would have to debate and take a separate vote on whether to accept the state votes, but the objectors never had anywhere near the votes they needed to make their objections stick.

So Trump turned to pressuring Vice President Mike Pence, who would preside over the counting, to throw out the Biden votes. On Monday, Trump tweeted that “the Vice President has the power to reject fraudulently chosen electors.” This would throw the blame for the loss onto Pence, but the vice president has no constitutional power to do any such thing, and this morning he made that clear in a statement. Trump then tweeted that Pence “didn’t have the courage to do what should have been done.”

It seemed clear that the voting would be heated, but it was also clear that most of the lawmakers opposing the count were posturing to court Trump’s base for future elections. Congress would count Biden’s win.

But Trump had urged his supporters for weeks to descend on Washington, D.C., to stop what he insisted was the stealing of the election. They did so and, this morning, began to congregate near the Capitol, where the counting would take place. As he passed them on the east side of the Capitol, Hawley raised a power fist.

In the middle of the day, Trump’s lawyer Rudy Giuliani spoke to the crowd, telling them: “Let’s have trial by combat.” Trump followed, lying that he had won the election and saying “we are going to have to fight much harder.” He warned that Pence had better “come through for us, and if he doesn’t, that will be a sad day for our country.” He warned that Chinese-driven socialists are taking over the country. And he told them to march on Congress to “save our democracy.”

As rioters took Trump at his word, Congress was counting the votes alphabetically by state. When they got to Arizona, Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) stood up to echo the rhetoric radicals had been using to discredit the certified votes, saying that public distrust in the election—created out of thin air by Republicans—justified an investigation.

Within an hour, a violent mob stormed the Capitol and Cruz, along with the rest of the lawmakers, was rushed to safety (four quick-thinking staffers brought along the electoral ballots, in their ceremonial boxes). As the rioters broke in, police shot and killed one of them: Ashli Babbitt, an Air Force veteran from San Diego, QAnon believer, and staunch Trump supporter. The insurrectionists broke into the Senate chamber, where one was photographed on the dais of the Senate, shirtless and wearing a bull costume that revealed a Ku Klux Klan tattoo on his abdomen. They roamed the Capitol looking for Pence and other lawmakers they considered enemies. Not finding them, they ransacked offices. One rioter photographed himself sitting at House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s desk with his feet on it.

They carried with them the Confederate flag.

Capitol police provided little obstruction, apparently eager to avoid confrontations that could be used as propaganda on social media. The intruders seemed a little surprised at their success, taking selfies and wandering around like tourists. One stole a lectern.

As the White House, the FBI, the Justice Department, and the Department of Homeland Security all remained silent, President-Elect Joe Biden spoke to cameras urging calm and calling on Trump to tell his supporters to go home. But CNN White House Correspondent Kaitlan Collins later reported that she spoke to White House officials who were “genuinely freaked… out” that Trump was “borderline enthusiastic” about the storming of the Capitol because “it meant the certification was being derailed.”

At 4:17, Trump issued his own video, reiterating his false claims that he had been cheated of victory. Only then did he conclude with: “Go home, we love you, you’re very special.” Twitter immediately took the video down. By nighttime Trump’s Twitter feed seemed to blame his enemies for the violence the president had incited (although the rhythm of the words did not sound to me like Trump’s own usual cadence): “These are the things and events that happen when a sacred landslide election victory is so unceremoniously & viciously stripped away from great patriots who have been badly & unfairly treated for so long. Go home with love & in peace. Remember this day forever!”

Twitter took down the tweet and banned the president for at least twelve hours for inciting violence; Facebook and Instagram followed suit.

As the afternoon wore on, police found two pipe bombs near the headquarters of the Republican National Committee and the Democratic National Committee in Washington, D.C., as well as a truck full of weapons and ammunition, and mobs gathered at statehouses across the country, including in Kansas, Ohio, Minnesota, California, and Georgia.

By 5:00, acting Secretary of Defense Christopher Miller issued a statement saying he had conferred with Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Mark Milley, Vice President Pence, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY), and Representative Steny Hoyer (D-MD) and had fully activated the D.C. National Guard.

He did not mention the president.

By late evening, Washington, D.C., police chief Robert J. Contee III announced that at least 52 people had been arrested and 14 law enforcement officers injured. A total of four people died, including one who died of a heart attack and one who tased themself.

White House Counsel Pat Cipollone urged people to stay away from Trump to limit their chances of being prosecuted for treason under the Sedition Act. By midnight, four staffers had resigned, as well as Deputy National Security Adviser Matthew Pottinger, with other, higher level officials also talking about leaving. Even Trump adviser Stephen Miller admitted it was a bad day. Quickly, pro-Trump media began to insist that the attack was a false-flag operation of “Antifa,” despite the selfies and videos posted by known right-wing agitators, and the fact that Trump had invited, incited, and praised them.

Former Secretary of Defense James Mattis laid the blame for today’s attack squarely at the feet of Trump himself: “Today’s violent assault on our Capitol, and effort to subjugate American democracy by mob rule, was fomented by Mr. Trump. His use of the Presidency to destroy trust in our election and to poison our respect for fellow citizens has been enabled by pseudo political leaders whose names will live in infamy as profiles in cowardice.”

The attempted coup drew condemnation from all but the radical Trump supporters in government. Former President George W. Bush issued a statement “on insurrection at the Capitol,” saying “it is a sickening and heartbreaking sight.” “I am appalled by the reckless behavior of some political leaders since the election,” he said, and accused such leaders of enflaming the rioters with lies and false hopes. Senator Mitt Romney (R-UT) was more direct: “What happened here today was an insurrection incited by the President of the United States.”

Across the country tonight are calls for Trump’s removal through the 25th amendment, impeachment, or resignation. The Democrats on the House Judiciary Committee have joined the chorus, writing to Pence urging him to invoke the 25th. Angry at Trump’s sabotaging of the Georgia elections in addition to the attack on our democracy, prominent Republicans are rumored to be doing the same.

At 8:00, heavily armed guards escorted the lawmakers back to the Capitol, thoroughly scrubbed by janitors, where the senators and representatives resumed their counting of the certified votes. The events of the afternoon had broken some of the Republicans away from their determination to challenge the votes. Fourteen Republican senators had announced they would object to counting the certified votes from Arizona; in the evening count the number dropped to six: Cruz (R-TX), Hawley (R-MO), Cindy Hyde-Smith (R-MS), John Kennedy (R-LA), Roger Marshall (R-KS), and Tommy Tuberville (R-AL).

In the House, 121 Republicans, more than half the Republican caucus, voted to throw out Biden’s electors from Arizona. As in the Senate, they lost when 303 Representatives voted in favor.

Six senators and more than half of the House Republicans backed an attempt to overthrow our government, in favor of a man caught on tape just four days ago trying to strong-arm a state election official into falsifying the election results.

Today the Confederate flag flew in the United States Capitol.

[Heather Cox Richardson is a Professor of History at Boston College. She has daily posts on Facebook that summarize the day's political events and puts them in historical context. The Facebook post link's first comment are her citations to sources.]

[the-peachpit]

Between the Lines

Ship: Shorter Wong x (Y/N)

Summary: Shorter and (y/n) are fighting about the future. (y/n) want’s to apologize, but what if Shorter can never forgive her?

Opening your laptop, you pick your favorite spotify playlist before looking around the room of the small apartment you shared with your boyfriend and friends. Hands on your hips you knew you were supposed to start packing but finding the best place to start was impossible. Every time one of your fingers so much as touched anything you were whisked away down memory lane. From shirts that you got when you first moved to New York planning to only stay for a year-it had been four- to the fake rose Shorter had bought for you the day you met. That memory took hold hard, mostly because of the disagreement you and Shorter had been passively aggressively maneuvering around for days. While living in New York you found a job in journalism, mostly freelance writing articles here and there. It wasn’t enough anymore to be some anonymous writer; you had seen your fair share of tragedy and a burning desire was lit deep in your chest to be more. Max- the man who had taken you under his wing- suggested you attend a college in California the degree could rally ramp up your career. At first the idea sounded nuts, the school was insanely expensive, and renting a town house was currently stretching you thin enough. Knowing Max came with a secret perk though he used contacts to get you in on a huge scholarship. Mostly because they could say the prodigy of Max Lobe- the man who took down New York’s biggest mafia family on a pedophilia scandal- was attending. Max gave you the news over dinner, and of course you wanted to go.

Laying back on the bed as Rose by Briston Maroney played you twirled the plastic rose in between your fingers. Shorter had given the rose the day he met you like a true fool who believed in love at first sight. Of course, you were skeptical and only believed in a player at first sight. If Eji, who you trust with your life, hadn’t vouched for him you never would have even entertained the idea. Rolling your eyes, you took the rose in a ha-ha sort of way. Shorter had taken it as a win and asked you on a date to his own restaurant. Twice you turned him down, it was the third time that did the trick. Though you had just been saved by him so that may have helped. You were shopping near China Town with Eji when the two of you were jumped and taken hostage. Eji was being used for ransom and your head was spinning. That was also the day you found out about the gang activity Ash and Shorter were a part of. It didn’t scare you like Shorter was afraid it would. Instead you accepted his date offer kind of asking him yourself.

He closed the restaurant down and it was just the two of you. Shorter hosted his own date taking you to your table, picking wine, cooking. He had the whole thing down, like he really had been planning it since the day you met.

Four years later here resting your hand back down on the sheets looking up at the ceiling. Shorter hadn’t come home for two days, Ash promised he was safe, but the last words Shorter had mumbled under his breath were ‘you wouldn’t make it out there,’ and you exploded it was the final straw as you screamed at him to leave. Shorter left without another word. You’d never screamed like that at him, he’s never stayed gone for so long with zero communication. Eyes darting around the room, you decided packing was impossible there were still two weeks till departure and that was more than enough time to put your life in a couple suitcases and leave everyone behind.

Walking downstairs the TV is playing softly and you know Eji is using it for noise. Catching him red handed in the kitchen you find him making himself a snack carefully cutting vegetables. Eji was the only reason anyone in the house didn’t live off pasta or Chinese food -courtesy of Shorter. Max helped balance their diets sometimes, but usually brought a lot of deserts with him. Not that anyone complained, Max really played the Dad role in the house. Eji was short with black hair and dark brown eyes. You never missed an opportunity to tease him about his height which he blamed on his Asian genes, until you bring up Shorter is in fact not short, and taller than Ash. That gets Eji red in the face, today though the spark wasn’t there. Instead you opted to swipe a cucumber from his cutting board.

Eji stopped cutting all together to put his hands on his hips, “It’s dangerous for you to just grab stuff like that while I’m cutting, (y/n).”

You laugh, “It’s not like you’re going to cut my fingers off. Or are you that clumsy?”

Eji resumed cutting, “Maybe it won’t be an accident, you did break one of my favorite photo frames.” He pointed the knife your way.

“Wait a minute, Ash is the one who threw the pillow!” You protest.

“You’re the one who tried to braid his hair while he was sleeping,” Eji brought up a smile creeping across his face.

“You knew his hair was getting long and you wanted to do the same thing. It looked cute!” You whine walking to the island leaning against the wooden top.

Eji laughed, he had a cute laugh that went up and octave, “He looked great, I tried to convince him to wear it that way.” He sighed, “Instead he had to go and cut it,” Eji whined.

Walking over Eji placed a plate of cut assorted vegetables and ranch. Picking up a carrot round you inspected it turning it between your fingers like the rose.

“Has Shorter bene home?” You ask hoping maybe he snuck in while you were gone.

Eji shook his head, “No.”

“Have you heard from him?” The desperation in your voice betrays you.

Eji shakes his head again without saying a word. The frown on the face gives it all away, he feels bad, he’s been in the situation of not knowing where his lover was. Sympathy radiates off him in waves as you bite into another carrot round and think about packing, or maybe not going at all.

Hearing the front door creak open your heart skips a beat as you look over, only slightly disappointed to watch a disgruntled blonde walk in. Running his fingers through his blonde locks Ash came up to the counter grabbing a slice of cucumber. About a million questions run through your brain at once, but you know he has something on his mind. He never walks in so silently; Ash is always sure to announce his presence as not to startle anyone into thinking it’s a break in. It’s an old habit everyone kept from when Ash was hunted down just a few short years ago. As much as you watched Ash, Eji, Sorter, hell even Max joke around, you knew the fear was still there. Harbored deep down.

Finally, Ash swallows and his green eyes won't dare connect with yours.

“I’m going to Coney Island for few days,” Ash announced.

Eji turned his face screwed immediately into worry, “When are we going?”

“You’re staying here,” Ash’s voice was firm, he’d made his decision.

Though if anyone was stubborn and could change the Lynx mind it was Eji.

“I’ll pack a bag,” Eji didn't take no for an answer.

Ash sighed, “Come on Eji, it’s an easy job, it’s just Arthur causing problems. Squashing him back down won’t take more than the weekend.”

“Going alone is stupid,” Eji crossed his arms officially meaning business.

“Do I ever go alone?”

Eji grunted.

“Look I’m going with, Cain,” Ash paused, “And Shorter.”

Your breath catches in your throat as you realize why he hasn’t looked at you since he got in. The air in the apartment changes tremendous tension at the name of the man with a purple mohawk.

“Is he coming here?” You ask.

“Sorry (y/n), I’m actually going to meet him in china town,” Ash played with the collar of his shirt.

You feel your guts twist the butterflies dying and anger filling your cheeks turning them red. You bang your fist against the countertop.

“Why!” You shout your voice echoing startling yourself.

Silence sits in the room, your own voice still echoing in your ears. Slowly you lay your head on the cool varnished wood.

“He can’t avoid me forever,” You mumble, “We have to talk about this.”

It didn’t sit right with you, to just let it fester any longer your heart was breaking already the thought of him just being angry with you. You wanted to understand why he was so upset with you leaving.

“Plus, I need to apologize,” You pick your head up, “I was out of line screaming at him to leave.”

Eji turned up his nose, “From what I heard he was just as much at fault.

You raise a brow towards Eji, “How much did you hear.”

Eji jumped a little, “I wasn’t eavesdropping,” he put his hands up in defense, “But I could hear you guys down the hall.”

Once again, the silence overtook the kitchen. You guys really had been properly arguing.

“I want to go,” You look at Ash trying to channel Eji’s determination.

“Neither of you are going,” Ash put his foot down, “It’s too dangerous.”

You stand up, “Seriously Eji’s been,” you’re cut off by a knife falling to the floor.

Looking over Eji is picking up the kitchen utensil apologizing. He keeps his dark eyes on the knife as he places back on the counter.

“If it’ll just take the weekend, we’ll see you Sunday night than,” Eji beamed his eyes closed.

Ash nodded crossing the threshold of the island hugging Eji tightly. You saw the way Eji’s dark eye’s looked dim as he returned the hug his face just popping over Ash’s shoulder. Without another word Ash walked upstairs presumably to his bedroom. You kept your eyes down on the wooden floor listening to the footsteps creaking across the little house.

“If I couldn’t get through to Ash this time there’s no way you could,” Eji leaned back against the counter.

“But he let you go on dangerous jobs all the time,” You finish your rebuttal.

“I knew you were going to bring that up,” Eji shook his head, “Ash did everything to keep me safe, he always told me to stay behind, but I never listened.”

“Sound’s about right,” You snicker not used to seeing Eji so serious and you weren’t sure what to say, “Why are you listening this time?”

“Because I think I know why he wants me to stay.”

“If you say because of me,” You point at Eji, “I’ll come over there and sock you.”

Eji stuck his tongue out at you, “Of course it’s you, but not you. More like imagine how Shorter would deal with it post argument, he couldn’t focus someone would get hurt. Besides you only caught the end of our adventure, you never saw what happened in the center, it was rough. Especially on Shorter and Ash.”

You feel your shoulders sag, he was right, you were there to help Max break the story. The last major part in the chaos you took part in was finding Ash in the library.

“Say goodbye to him for me,” You wave off Eji. You couldn’t stand to see Ash off currently.

Grabbing your coat off the hook you could practically feel Eji’s eyes boring holes in the back of your skull.

“I’m not going where you think I’m going,” You huff, “It’s purely coincidence.”

“(y/n),” Eji warns.

“I’m serious, call Max and ask,” You open the door and can hear the footsteps rushing down the hall.

Slamming the door for fun and out of spite and head towards the subway.

While waiting for the train you sit on a bench and pull out your phone realizing on a normal day you would have been long gone to work already. There’s no way you would have stumbled into Ash, Shorter would have slipped away without a trace. You could feel the anger rising in your gut, you had half a mind to go back and really give Ash what for. Every time you and Ash started a shouting match though somehow Eji would diffuse it-or Ash would win. Clenching your phone, you tap your foot angrily looking down the platform. Where the hell was the train, you wanted to get far away from the crazy-at least for a few hours.

“Mind if I sit here?”

You look up at a pair of dark eyes slightly covered by dark bangs a figure shorter than Eji standing there.

“What do you want Sing?” You sigh sitting back against the metal bench.

Sing take a seat next to you his signature smirk plastered across his face, “I was in the neighborhood, and Ash called asking me to find out if you were doing anything dumb.”

You had half a mind to at this point, “It’s not me it’s Shorter,” you cross your arms over your chest.

“Wow you guys really are fighting!” Sing looked like he was in awe.

“Oh good,” Your voice goes up an octave in sarcasm, “Everyone knows!”

“it’s hard not to,” Sing sticks his nose up, “Shorter’s been a real pain in the ass recently.”

You roll your eyes, “Tell me about it.” You look over catching Sing’s eyes and the two of you burst out into laughter.

You liked Sing he was a little younger than everyone else, but you could tell even while participating in gang activity he was growing up just fine. Always offering to walk you to see Shorter if he was too busy to leave the restaurant, and making you feel better when things with your gang leader boyfriend were tense and strained. Sing was easy to joke around with and didn’t treat you like an outsider of the tightly knit group that had formed. He believed in you 100 percent. The more you thought about it he was kind of like a cute little guard dog.

“Want some company wherever you’re going?”

“I don’t want to move you too far out of your way, I am going to Broadway to do paperwork for Max.”

Sing just waved you off, “I’m not doing anything anyway, I wasn’t invited to the shakedown.”

You snort and Sing started to gripe over the sound of the train pulling in. That was another thing about Sing, you knew he was capable, hell everyone did, but if they weren’t worried about protecting you or Eji -Sing was next on that list. Truly the little brother to the dynamic duo Shorter and Ash. One-time Sing had been late coming back from a drop off and Shorter was pacing the small livingroom practically pulling his purple hairs out. When Sing did show up Shorter was so mad, he hadn’t answered his phone. Turns out Sing had broken it and Ash bought him a new one the next day. Even as Sing insisted, he could pay for it.

Deciding to let Sing accompany you because it was better than riding alone to work the two of you swapped casual conversation about idle topics like tv shows or what new dishes Eji was trying.

“Man,” Sing leaned back while holding the brace bar, “You better bring me leftovers.”

You laughed, “Why don’t you just come over for dinner?”

Sing smiled and you’re reminded once again why you like talking to Sing so much. He was easy to talk to, he wasn’t as serious, he really brought your stress down a level. Sing stayed with you up until you got to the front of the small office building Max was operating out of.

“Thanks,” You wave as you start ascending the stairs.

“He’ll be fine after this weekend!” Sing shouted back.

You pause at the door looking back towards the bottom of the steps.

Sing gestures a thumbs up, “There’s no way Shorter will still be mad after a weekend away. I could already see his resolve crumbling when I talked to him earlier. He hates being away from you, and being angry,” he winked, “He’s kind of into you, but you didn’t hear it from me.”

You can feel the blush spreading through your cheeks as you giggle, “I won’t say a word.”

Dancing your way to the elevator clicking the button for the fifth floor you felt your heart fluttering in your chest. By the time Shorter was back you’d be packed, and everything would be fixed.

The elevator doors slid open and you met Max with a large smile even when he sheepishly presented you with a large stack of papers to proofread. The deadline was tight, and you knew you couldn’t give him an earful, he was the one getting you into a prestigious school, the work had to be done that day. It was a welcomed distraction as you sat at your desk and started knocking out articles.

It was nine o’clock when you finished and turning your brain off to Shorter had been the right move. Max drove you home asking about packing and giving you pointers for LA. You decided not to tell him about the drama, you’re not sure what he’d say. Though he was a married man you knew he had his own share of drama with his wife. Maybe you didn’t really want his advice.

Getting back to the small town house you see Eji sitting with the TV on watching an old movie, your dinner is int eh microwave. You already know how the night is going to go, it’s always the same when Ash and Shorter are out, dinner, snacks, movies, sticking close. The two of you may fall asleep on the couch, or in someone’s bed. You say nothing about what you think they may be doing, and you are each other’s company, there’s comfort in knowing someone is going through the same thing. Eji smiles and you know it’s hollow, he’s worried, you’re worried. You gently hold his hand and the weekend of silent hopes commences.

You’re practically bouncing off the walls Sunday night. You went with Eji to the store and started making a large meal that afternoon of the duo’s favorite foods. Unsure of Cain would be spending the night you guessed at what he might like.

“I’m inviting Sing,” You say already tapping on your phone.

The kitchen looked like a proper welcome home party with food, drinks, and a few decorations. There was a knock on the door, and you gestured for Sing to come in and make himself comfortable.

Around 11 o’clock you were starting to pace. You weren’t actually sure when they were getting in, hopefully sooner than later.

1 am was when you heard the first heavy footsteps coming down the hallway. The footsteps aren’t what woke you up though it was Eji getting off the couch jolting Sing awake. Slowly you adjusted to the bright lights you can’t believe you fell asleep with them on. Yawning and stretching the excitement of them coming home hasn’t hit you yet, your head is still fuzzy with sleep. Eji’s standing at the door like a puppy his hands clasped together patiently waiting with a sleepy smile on his face. For a moment it almost slips your mind why.

Crashing open the door seemed ready to burst from its hinges as everything moves too fast. Ash hobbled in leaning against Cain who had a strong grip around Ash’s waist. Eji was scrambling to Ash’s side while instructing Sing where the first aid kit was because you still hadn’t moved frozen to the couch. No wait- you were standing- when had you stood up? Eji was asking Cain what happened, but he sounded so far away, like his voice was coming through the walls. All at once the world that was chaotic and moving at lightning speed slowed. Sing ran back from the bathroom with the first aid kit, and you swore he was running through jell-o. Your feet moved, but you swore you hadn’t told them to. Padding across the hardwood floor in slip resistant kitten socks you push Eji to the side, your hands instinctively grab Ash’s collar. He lets you tug him down to meet your face. You feel hot and cold all at once as you stare into his dim green eyes.

“Where's Shorter?” You whisper simply.

Ash is silent Eji is grabbing your shoulder.

You shake the blonde haphazardly moving yourself more than him.

“Where’s Shorter!” You scream feeling the fat tears stream down your face.

“They got him,” Ash’s voice is hoarse.

“What do you mean they got him!” You can’t stop screaming.

“y/n” Eji’s voice still sounds like a faraway whisper.

“Arthur was a little more than we bargained for,” Cain answered gruffly, “Ash’s hurt pretty bad, Shorter let himself get chased and probably caught so we could get out.”

The tugging on your shoulder feels more forceful and you let yourself get pulled back releasing the death grip on Ash. Finger outlines kept his shirt collar pulled out. Stepping back further you let Eji and Sing attend to Ash and Cain in gentle calming voices. Sticking around to watch doesn’t sit right with you, and you can feel your stomach turning. Instead you run upstairs and enter your room. Slowly you close the door the air feeling like it was sucked out of the room right after. Shakily you put your hands over your mouth, your back sliding against the door. Crying on the floor next to the empty cardboard boxes that were never packed the room is too full- too full of Shorter.

[amythecinnabunny]

Space AU and Time Travel for Juke 👀 <33

Holy shit holy shit holy shit ok ok ok ok first of all AKDBJSJSJJEJE YES

Okay okay so let me try to iron out the mess in my head skxbjsjjd I hereby apologize if things get out of order or whatever but I am literally vibrating with excitement someone please write this I'll love you forever

Ok so I'm thinking also an aged up au for ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* reasons *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ sjsnnsn

Also, I've done this before and I'm gonna do it again, but Bobby and Trevor are two different people for the sake of the timeline here.

Time frame for this would be WAY into the future. Humanity has gone galactic. We also had our asses handed to us by several alien planets but we probably deserved it. Anyway, after we got rid of Elon Musk, we eventually made peace with the aliens and now roam the galaxy freely. 20-30yo generally try to get into a different fleet, just to learn about other races. Think all those alien ships adopts a human posts.

Julie, Carrie and Flynn are my three girl geniuses. They're like,,, the smartest people in every room. They've been like this since freshman year of college. Julie, Carrie and Flynn also all want to get into the student exchange program, which is exactly what you think it is. Alien races (and this now includes humanity) swaps out older students with each other so they get a feel of what the other race is like. It's fun, educational, and! You get to make super long distance pen pals!

I'd also have so much fun making up new memes???? It would be so fucking stupid tho but I love it.

Anyway, so after a few years of jumping through the exchange programme, hoping from planet to planet, unfortunately, without their bestfriends :<, the three of them qualify to board research ships!!!

So at like 23-25, my girls come back together on the same ship!! Its a massive thing and so they've hired so many interns from so many different races. It's like a landing hub for several smaller ships. They have like 10 interns per species and that's only because there are laws against having too many of one kind after they put 50 humans on a space station and the humans tried to take over. Also, humans multiply faster than the others. This terrifies some races.

Anyway, the ship's really just a bunch of college kids from different planets trying to avoid exam season by submitting research papers from their ship. They all bond over deadlines, breakups and coffee (or the alien equivalent thereof)

Flynn dated an alien girl for a while. They were cute. Flynn: as a lesbian, it's my duty to date all the women in space

This is also where they run into Willie!!! Yay, Willie!!!

Nick Danforth-Evans and Kayla Evans-McKessie are around ... somewhere ... in bunk beds like the little toddlers they wish they were, crying about the 15 page essay on why Xjsbsjdjd is a very intelligent race that we could learn a lot from (yes, that is a keysmash I'm too buzzed to be creating alien species names sjdjjdjd)

Carrie and Nick do date for a while but then Carrie hooked up with Kayla. Bisexual queen who?

Julie met Willie that time she didn't sleep for over 48 hours because she had a research paper due within a week and she hadn't started yet and it was 10 000 words on her experiences with the Psjxjjdkeiwj race. Luckily for her, the kid she bumped into and spilled an energy drink all over had the same paper and helped her finish it. Willie sometimes goes by the nickname Lifesaver, thanks to Julie. This confuses the metaphor-less people because Willie's never saved anyone's life?? So why is he a lifesaver??

ANYWAY ON TO THE TIME TRAVEL BIT

On their own, Julie, Carrie and Flynn are professional smart people who know what they're saying and are clever enough not to do things with too many risks. In the same room, however, they turn into dumb geniuses who can and possibly may blow up the entire ship. It's a good thing they have Willie, Nick and Kayla to babysit them, right? WRONG. Willie Kayla and Nick egg them on.

They decide there going to gather all the information there is on time travel and they're going to decipher it and make it work! Yay!

When they find stuff in alien languages they start calling up their alien pen pals "hello what's this word mean in this context? What, haha oh no, it's a research paper on why time travel projects were abandoned before completion. Okay, thank you!"

Before long, they have a working time machine. I mean,, they hope so. And so they enter a random date from the past and prepare to pop their heads through just to see what the world looked like approximately 200ish years ago

2020s, post covid because that exists for joke reasons later, Sunset Curve is performing live for one of their biggest audiences yet when mid-song, the floor just opens them up and swallows them whole before vanishing. The crowd things it's a stunt but Sunset Curve's managers are flipping their shit

Back on the ship, the machine starts sparking and with a soft boom and a hiss, the power in that quadrant goes out -- not before Willie's is pelted in the face with a pair of drumsticks and then a whole person.

It's a miracle the drums survived the trip, pet alone everything else.

So now these sleep deprived geniuses and co. have to hide three people and several musical artifacts, plus the smoking remains of a time machine, from their Supervising Officer, who is regrettably, a human too.

And none of them are very good at lying.

Luke and Bobby are though, and after piecing together bits and pieces from the frenzied rambling around them, Luke and Bobby save the group.

Shenanigans ensue as they try to rebuild the time machine under the watchful eye of the SO, while trying to mantainbfake credentials for the boys and trying to explain their very dated clothing. (Yes, Sunset Curve STILL rocks the 90s vibe. In the 2020s. It's their thing.)

Willex happens in the background -- and I mean that very literally. (Jukebox having a tension moment, Willex making out in the background.)

Honestly I'm not sure yet how theyd solve the problems, whether they'd send the boys back or not or what, but I do know that they will all cause a BUNCH of problems in between.

Sometimes they play music just because they still can. Sunset Curve becomes a house band for the ship. They get broadcasted to neighbouring or passing ships like "hey, losers, we have live music, SUCK IT!"

Focusing on the jukebox aspect of this whole fic, that's gonna be a fucking hilarious slow burn.

It will definitely contain the lines "Oh my god, I have a crush on Julie." "Congratulations, you're officially the last to know." "What? Even [SO's Name] knows??" "Dude. The ship's navigation crew knows." "Does ... Julie know?" "No, you're both morons."

Julie is having the exact same conversation four hallways away.

They'd talk a lot about sending the boys back home and it'd be really quiet conversations when everyone else is asleep.

Julie and Luke write music together and after a while, Julie performs a few of them too. Thanks to the concerts, they meet the other human interns that were on the other end of the ship and Carrie and Kayla form Dirty Candy.

The ship becomes known as the party bus.

A thing that will happen: Luke helps Julie write one of her history papers that she gets an A+ for and a comment about how dedicated she was to have delved so far back in the history records to get authentic insight.

Julie and Luke speak in memes but they don't speak the same memes and it drives them both up the wall.

Luke says yeet one day and Julie's soul leaves her body because she hasn't heard anyone say yeet since she was a toddler back on Earth.

Julie: odd display, but acceptable.

Luke, physically experiencing a record scratch: what the fuck did you just say

That is all I have to offer because I'm afraid of plotting further and causing angst somehow.

oh one more thing, someone gets to bang an alien and it's probably Flynn.

Oh oh oh another one more thing. Reggie says "this is just like in Star Wars" for literally anything. The band goes along with it for shits and giggles. The rest of them are very interested in this ancient tale called Star Wars. Reggie sees a picture of Flynn and her green gf and says "hey, you dated photoshopped Yoda" and Bobby just loses his shit.

[ateezmakemeweep]

richboy!seonghwa (part 30)

word count: 4k

fluff

(part 29) (series masterlist)

walking the stage at graduation had been a lot easier than you anticipated. perhaps you were just neurotic of how clumsy you proved to be, the idea of tripping up the stairs or falling as you excepted your diploma a seemingly perfect way to end the academic year at your rich school. 

but you’d handled it with an uncharacteristic level of grace, your cheeks flaming at the shouts of your name by a select few boys. you shook your head as you passed each of them by, wooyoung and san smiling proudly while hongjoong and yeosang looked away like they had no part in it once so ever; but mingi and yunho knew better, smirking at your face and mouthing “good job.”

“you guys are so embarrassing,” you whined the second the ceremony was over, stomping up toward the boys with a pout on your face. you look at your boyfriend who’s wearing a shit eating grin, smacking him lightly with your cap. “and you too? i strictly told you last night that that was my number one-”

“sh,” he says, bringing you into him and wrapping his arm tightly around you. your complaints are muffled by his chest, letting out a tiny huff as you melt into him. “congrats, baby,” he mumbled into your ear, pecking a kiss on your cheek that makes the three boys groan. 

“yeah, just rub it in why don’t you, assholes.”

“the cheek? what a pussy.”

“where’s my kiss, yeosangie?” 

you giggle as yeosangie pulls away and smacks san in the shoulder, growling at him to never call him that again. your eyes catch mingi and yunho walking towards you guys, a squeal leaving you as you run toward the boys and pull them into a group hug. 

“hey, little one. good job,” yunho says, his lips on your head as you tighten your hold around your two best friends. “you too,” you smile up at them, “we did it.”

“and you didn’t even fall on your face,” mingi says, your eyes narrowing at him as you poke his sides. “shut up,” you mumble, the boy smirking as he smooths out a piece of your hair gently. 

“you two are coming tonight, right?” wooyoung asks, the four boys making their way over. the graduation ‘party’ which will consist of the eight of you, younger jongho included, is planned to be at wooyoung’s tonight. he all but demanded it, really, bragging that he had the biggest pool and best array of snacks. 

“yeah,” mingi says softly, “thanks for inviting us.”

“duh,” he says, looking up at the tall boy like he’d grown five heads. “you’re not just y/n’s friend, you know. we like you guys too.” and because of that, wooyoung smirks as he looks over at yunho teasingly. “speaking of which, you never gave me that new years kiss. so how ‘bout a graduation one tonight?” 

the growl that leaves mingi is not like one you’d ever heard before, the toothy grin on wooyoung’s face proving he got the exact reaction he wanted. the redhead boy steps forward like he’s about to ring his neck, his deep grunt of “no,” causing you and yunho to pull him back. 

“it was a joke lover boy,” you say teasingly, smirking over at wooyoung as you shake your head; now that these two were official, it was a little too easy to make shy, reserved mingi completely transform into boyfriend mingi; and he was a whole lot more possessive and protective than you would’ve thought. 

“when did i say that?” wooyoung quips, his head cocked to the side innocently. the boy knows he’s pushing his luck, the obvious size difference making it even more daring, but he just can’t help it. he loves the reactions of young love, especially coming from a boy as aloof as mingi. 

“don’t think i won’t-”

“oooh he’s gonna crack your head open now, too,” yeosang says, smirking at mingi but also smacking wooyoung away in the process. yunho smirks as he extends his long arm to rest on mingi’s shoulder, squeezing it affectionately and feeling the boy slightly relax.

it’ll take some time getting used to, having a group of friends who just tease and playfully mess with each other all the time. but it doesn’t stop him from throwing a dirty look at wooyoung, the smaller boy smiling cheekily before skipping off happily to hongjoong. 

“who knew pretty boy was so-” you eye yeosang and his words immediately halt, an innocent smile making its way on his face as he pulls you toward him again; because judging from the slight blush on mingi’s face, it doesn’t seem like he can take much more. 

“stop being a bully,” you whine softly, poking his side roughly. “it won’t age well. you’re not in high school anymore.” he rolls his eyes despite the fondness behind them, leaning down to peck your lips softly. you meet the kiss and smile against his lips, breaking apart when you hear the clearing of a throat.

you pull back and feel your cheeks warm immediately. 

“oh. hi, mom. dad,” you say, immediately taking the yellow flowers from your dad’s hand. “thank you, guys.” your mom has tears in her eyes and you chuckle in embarrassment, insisting there’s no reason for her to cry.

you had introduced yeosang to them the same day you told them you decided on a college an hour away in the city; they were more shocked by the news you’d had a boyfriend for the past several months opposed to your decision, hugging you tightly and expressing their happiness. 

yunho had been right, they didn’t wanna hold you back and were happy about your decision. they even laughed in your face when you told them about your hesitations, telling you they’ve already thought about converting your room into a movie room. yeosang snorted as you let out an offended huff, your parents guiding you both down the stairs where you sat around the table and they got to know yeosang.

“are you guys doing something later?” your dad asked. yeosang answered with a nod of his head, explaining to him wooyoung was having a small get together at his house. 

“would you wanna go to lunch then? we won’t keep you long.” your parents asked shyly, your mom’s eyes still teary and hopeful before you nod your head. 

you turn around to see everyone with their parents, hongjoong’s brother having him in a chokehold whilst wooyoung’s mom and brother play monkey in the middle with the cap of the graduate himself. you feel your heart break realizing yeosang’s mother hadn’t made it, the boy telling you quietly last night she didn’t know if her flight was gonna get home in time. 

“i’ll pick you up later then?” yeosang asked, taking your hand in his and squeezing gently. your face falls and his eyes immediately swarm with a questioning glint, having no idea the way your heart is hurting for him; because he shouldn’t be alone on a day like today.

but your parents beat you to it, your dad immediately shaking his head. “we’d like to come too, yeosang. if you and your family aren’t doing anything.” he looks at your dad and feels a lump form in his throat, squeezing his hand in yours again as you slowly trail your thumb over it. 

“oh-uh-i,” he says and you don’t think you’ve ever heard your boyfriend stutter like that. “thank you, sir. but it’ll- it’ll only be me.” you don’t miss the way your mom frowns, her glossy eyes moving to you as you shrug your shoulders with a matching expression. 

“even better,” your dad says, nodding his head knowingly at the boy. “i can give you more awkward, passive aggressive dad to boyfriend talks.” a deep chuckle leaves the boy’s mouth as he nods his head, looking over at you and smiling softly. you press up on your tippy toes to kiss him when your parents turn around, your wide eyes playful and teasing as you ask him if he’s ready for such a talk. 

but of course, the talk never came. the dinner was relaxed and carefree, yeosang telling him all about the...good moments he had with you. and perhaps morphing the truth about some others. 

“this asshole really told my parents i was the smartest person he ever tutored. what did you say? a natural academic?” 

he smirks as he takes a sip of his soda, staying far far away from the beers after the shit show that was the new years eve party. you assured him that it was fine for him to drink, that you wouldn’t be so sensitive and annoyed by it tonight. but he kissed the tip of your nose and grabbed the can of coke anyway, shrugging his shoulders carelessly before pulling you onto his lap.

“but you are smart,” he coos against your neck, mingi in particular rolling his eyes after witnessing just how smart he thought you were back then. he still feels tempted to kick the boy’s ass when he thinks about it; but not more than another black-haired boy, the loud cackle coming from him and his mother nearly identical. 

the woman had brought out an extremely ritzy platter of cheese, watching in disgust as the boy’s toppled over one another to devour it. “you boys are nasty, this is why he’s the only one with a girl here,” she says, her hand flailing toward yeosang who’s smiling at the woman.

“you’re right, mrs. jung. thank you. i always tell them that.” she eyes the boy harshly before taking the empty platter and whacking him on top of the head, your own giggle causing the woman to look at you in amusement. 

“i’m ordering a pizza. you guys didn’t deserve that cheese.”

you bite your lip to halt another giggle from leaving your mouth, mingi and yunho watching you with a small smile. you still don’t know what the boys are doing about school, if they’d decided to do something similar to you and yeosang or are choosing to go separately and do long distance. 

but you do know that there’s no chance the boys are breaking up, if their knees touching and intertwined hands are any indication. 

the night is filled with laughter and screeching and banter back and forth, san being thrown in the pool resulting in all of you jumping in and splashing one another. games of chicken nearly left hongjoong with a broken neck, because who in their right mind really thought jongho was gonna accept any sort of defeat from his long-time enemy turned friend. 

when you all got out, wooyoung’s mom left you with towels and lit the fire, shouting that you weren’t allowed in the house until you were all dry. but even without that warning, you think you guys would’ve stayed out there all night. especially after little sentimental san asked if you guys were ever gonna see each other again.

“you dramatic fuck,” yeosang said, your elbow smacking into him at his vulgarity. “of course we are.”

“b-but we’re going to different schools and everything’s gonna be-”

wooyoung and hongjoong immediately flick the boy where both his dimples are, shaking their heads before the latter boy speaks. “we’ll be fine. seonghwa’s all the way in france and we still talk to him everyday. what makes you think we’ll be any different?” 

and because his words are final, they seem to comfort san. it only emphasizes the point of you guys making the most of the next two months, planning trips and pool parties and outings before college orientations and moving days start. you know it’s probably gonna fly by but you’re all gonna do your best to savor each day, your head resting on yeosang’s shoulder and his arm wrapped tightly around your stomach as you listen to plans of road trips and beach getaways. 

“you okay?” you hear him mumble against your head, his lips brushing your hair as his thumb starts to caress your stomach. you look up and smile at him softly, his eyes roaming your face before placing a kiss on the tip of your nose. 

“yeah.”

“hey! no kissing!” san yelps, flinging his wet towel at the both of you. “we’re trying to plan.”

“what? if we’re gonna start kissing, i know who i want-” wooyoung begins to say. but he can barely finish the sentence before mingi jumps to his feet and drags the boy by his shirt, the shorter boy’s loud laugh and protests followed by the sound of a body splashing into the pool.

and even wooyoung’s mom watching from the window can’t help but snort, bringing out another towel for her son who she knows probably deserved being manhandled into the water. 

a year and a half later:

“are the grades in yet?” you asked breathlessly on the phone, your feet smacking on the pavement as you run through the streets of yeosang’s old neighborhood. 

“nah,” your boyfriend sighs, the clattering of pots and pans in the background. “i checked like five times today.”

your first year of college had been....eventful to say the least. you and yeosang ended up getting an apartment way out of your price range, the high rise apartment ridiculously extravagant and large for just two college students. 

“this was really the only option,” he told you, the spectacular view of skyscrapers in the night sky making you more and more angry at him.

“you’re such a liar, yeosang!” you whine, smacking him on the chest. “this isn’t fair. it was a condition we agreed on.”

“baby, c’mon,” he smirked, his arms wrapping around you from behind as he nuzzles his face into your neck. “it’s pretty.”

“that’s exactly the problem!” you say, shooting around to look at him seriously. “i could never afford this.”

“you don’t have to.” and when your eyebrows furrow at him, the boy wanting to laugh at the anger expression on your face, he quickly speaks up again. “look, if you have to pay for something, how about the groceries?”

“and the tv,” you say after a few silent moments of contemplation. he rolls his eyes as he lets out a sigh, looking down at you with a pained expression. but when he sees you’re unwavering, he nods his head.

“fine. the groceries and the tv,” he whines. you scoff at his tone before turning around, thinking that this being your first apartment for college all seems a little too good to be true.

but everything in that aspect went smoothly. you and yeosang easily fell into the role as roommates, choosing to share a bathroom despite the other three because “that’s the experience, yeosang. we have to.” you liked seeing your toothbrushes next to one another, the counter messily splayed out with your makeup and his face products; because yes, it appears every handsome rich boy has an extensive skin care routine. 

your classes had been challenging but you enjoyed them nonetheless, more nights than you care to admit spent cramming for your tests and taking breaks with yeosang to eat and then relieve yourself in other ways. 

but just like you thought, your rainy day breaks were always your favorite days. under the covers of your bed, your head on his chest and his arm around you as you watch movie after movie and ordered takeout. your schedules were busy but you always found time for one another, whether it be cuddling in bed or going out and exploring the city together. 

and with classes over for the summer, you two were back at home and getting ready to have the boys over for dinner at yeosang’s. you had stopped at home to visit your parents for a few hours, filling them in on your classes and living situation with yeosang. luna greeted you at the door and purred against your leg for hours, an idea forming in your head that perhaps she’d love the view your high-rise windows have to offer.

but now, you feel foolish for thinking she deserved such nice treatment.

“what are you doing anyway babe?” yeosang chuckles, hearing how breathless and flustered you sound. 

“luna got out again. saw a bird and took right off and i’ve been chasing her for like twenty minutes.” 

yeosang’s chuckle only makes you whine to him, the boy biting his lip as he attempts to read a recipe for a chicken dish. “just do that cat noise. pst pst pst.”

“wow, you’re a genius. i didn’t even think to do that,” you snap sarcastically, the boy’s laugh ringing through your ear again. you keep your gaze on her white fluffy tail, your feet speeding up only egging her on even more. and then when you see her disappear under a hedge of bushes, you yelp into the phone.

“fuck! she just went in someone’s backyard. i’ll be over after i get her. if i don’t, i’ve been thrown in jail for trespassing.”

“noted,” he chuckles out, eyeballing just how much half a cup of onion would be. “see you soon, baby.”

he hangs up and you stick your phone in your back pocket, looking under the hedges to see her sitting happily in the middle of the fancy yard. “you little shit,” you grumble, heavily debating just crawling through the dirt to make your way over to her. but instead, you move around and feel grateful there are no cars in the driveway of this beautiful house, so intent and distracted by this stupid cat you don’t realize how familiar this iron cast gate is. 

how familiar and easy it is to jump it and make your way over to her. 

“luna...we’re not doing this again,” you say, voice stressed and pleading. “i was gonna bring you to the apartment but now i know you don’t deserve it.” her delicate meow is the only response you get, which isn’t surprising since she can’t say anything else. 

“okay, i’m sorry, i’ll still bring you if you want. but you have to come with me before the owners get home.”

but the sassy cat only continues her prowl through the yard, jumping up on the bar and stretching out on the granite top. you let out a shaky sigh, rubbing your hands over your face. 

you extend your arms out and slowly make your way over to her, taking the oh so helpful advice from yeosang as you lowly say “pst, pst, pst.” and it’s like she’s mocking you, watching with curious cat eyes as you make your way closer and closer to her. 

“luna....” you say warningly, eyeing her carefully and with the sternest look you can muster. and just as you go to grab her around the stomach, she jumps on the barstool and onto the floor. you ball your hands in fist, eyes trained on the counter as you try to gain your composure.

because you just wanna scream, tell her this is such unnecessary behavior and that a cat about to move into a fancy apartment can’t act in such a-

“pst, pst, pst,” you hear from across the yard, your body whipping around to see luna at the foot of a man. he’s watching from the step with a smirk, luna’s tail wrapped around his leg and you just know from the look on her face she’s purring. but that’s the least of your concerns, because when your eyes travel up to see who it is, you nearly collapse on the floor. 

“this is strangely familiar, y/n.”

his deep voice is one you haven’t heard, in person, in over a year. but it immediately brings a smile to your face, shocked and in disbelief and feeling so stupid that you hadn’t recognized this backyard. 

“seonghwa,” you breathe out, staring at the boy in utter shock. his face looks exactly the same, if not better, but his now light brown hair is slicked back and he’s wearing a long black coat that accentuates his long legs. 

“hi, y/n,” he says, smiling over at you before bending down to pet the cat wrapped around his leg. it’s like no time has past for her, purring against his hand and completely infatuated with him. “hi, luna.”

you finally rip yourself from your dumbfounded state, shaking your head before slowly making your way over to them; half because you don’t want luna to run away again, although that seems unlikely, and half because you really can’t believe he’s back.

“you’re back,” you dumbly blurt out, his neck craning up so he can smile at you; he’s really just as handsome as you remember.

“i’m back,” he says. “just got back from the airport. so imagine my surprise when i pull up and see someone jumping over my gate like they’d done before or something.”

a laugh bubbles out of your mouth as you hide your face in your hands, cheeks and ears burning red at the horribly embarrassing parallels. 

“please don’t call the police on me,” you say, seonghwa biting down on his lower lip as he smiles at you. 

“we’ll see,” he says, sitting down on the stoop as he leans back and looks up at you. you comment on his fancy coat, telling him that he looks very european and he can’t help but snort. 

you ask him about his time in paris and about yeonjun while he asks about where you go to college now and how everyone is. 

“wait. you didn’t tell them you’re here?” you squeak next to him on the step, your mouth forming into an o shape. he smirks at the look on your face, his hand still rubbing over luna’s soft, white fur. “no, i wanted to surprise them.”

“well you can definitely do that!” you squeal, jumping up from his step and bouncing excitedly in front of him. “come with me!” 

and twenty minutes later, when you pull up to yeosang’s in seonghwa’s car, you put your finger to your mouth as he rolls his eyes. “we’re still in the car, they’re not gonna-”

“wooyoung hears everything,” you remind him, the boy snorting as he nods his head. “okay, good point.”

you both tip toe into yeosang’s backyard, creeping around the edges as you do your best to hide seonghwa behind you. you stop just before the front door, telling him to stay there and smiling at him excitedly as you make the rest of the way alone. 

you open the door and a chorus of voices yelp your name, attacked in a hug that almost has you unable to breathe. yeosang looks up and smiles upon seeing you, pushing the boy’s out of the way before dipping his head to place a kiss on your lips.

“hey, baby, you find luna?” he asks, looking over your face and immediately sensing your excited energy. 

“i did,” you tell him, bouncing around as you can barely contain yourself. “but i also found something else. a surprise for all of you.”

“oh?” san says, his ears perking up at the sound of that. 

“what is it?” wooyoung asks, looking over your body like it’s gonna be in your hand but coming up empty. “are you lying? don’t get us excited for nothing.” you bite your lip and smile at them, turning around just as another pair of footsteps are heard.

“excited for nothing?”

there’s a beat of silence as the boys register seonghwa’s voice, his looming frame in the doorway causing everyone to look at one another in shock. but then it’s san’s cry of “seonghwa!” that sets everything in motion, the three boys taking him in a hug that nearly knocks him on his feet.

“when did you get here!”

“did you get taller!? this isn’t fair.”

“you look so european!”

you feel yeosang’s presence behind you as a laugh bubbles out of your mouth, watching the boy struggle as he’s attacked with a year and half’s worth of clingy boys missing him. 

“all the backyards luna could’ve snuck into and it was his?” 

complete 

sequel 

[donutloverxo]

Salty Baby

Chapter two

Authors note- thanks to @official-and-unstable-satan​ for being my beta. I’ll give you a thank you gift soon enough. No smut today next time i promise. happy reading.

Please do not repost or steal my work. Reblogs are welcome.

Summary- When you moved to New York in hopes of living a glamorous life this isn't what you expected. Steve offers to help you but your pride gets in the way. Pride isn't going to pay your rent and college loans.

Pairing- Steve Rogers x reader

Series warning- smut, sugar daddy/baby themes, angst, salty reader.

Word count- 1.5k

CHAPTER ONE | CHAPTER THREE | CHAPTER FOUR | CHAPTER FIVE

Masterlist

The whole week you couldn’t stop thinking about Steve. You went as far as to research him. He had lived such an interesting, accomplished life so many things. You couldn’t help but feel intimidated.

Steve had texted you the details of the restaurant. When you said your favorite food was pizza he took it upon himself to book a table at a five star Michelin star Italian restaurant. You being an uncultured simpleton said yes without knowing what you were getting yourself into.

You had never been to a fancy restaurant. You didn’t own a single dress. Neither could you afford one right now. There’s no way in hell your sister would let you set foot in her closet let alone borrow a dress.

“Are you coming to the party tomorrow?”, your coworker Alyssa asked. She had perpetually been nosy and annoying. Always oversharing or probing you about your personal life.

“No I have a date”

“Oh wow!”, she exclaimed jumping up and down. “Is it with that tall drink of water who’s totally obsessed with you?”

“Well... yeah”

“What are you going to wear?”, she asked propping herself up on her elbow batting her eyelashes at you.

You sighed deeply. “I don’t have anything to wear.” You considered cancelling just because of that. You didn’t have a lot of free time to date or socialize. But then you have been in New York for over a year and had yet to have a fun night out on the town.

“Well we’re about the same size. How about you borrow a dress of mine? On one condition! You have to tell me literally everything.”

“Why?”, while you weren’t keen on accepting help from her there weren’t many other options.

“Because that’s just what girls do!”

Alyssa set you up with a beautiful red dress that ended just above your knee that showed just a hint of cleavage. ‘To leave something to the imagination' apparently.

She also warned you at least ten times not to put out on the first date. Which you probably weren’t going to anyway. After a few touches of makeup you were good to go.

***

To make sure he doesn’t make a fool out of himself, Steve went to Natasha for some advice on modern dating. She was his only female friend. Probably his only friend.

She convinced him to buy bunch of new clothes and a new haircut. He wasn’t so sure about the new look but from what he had observed he looked quite modern.

“Oh new haircut”, Tony comments on the Steve’s new look when he comes and sits in the conference room in front of him. “You don’t stick out like a sore thumb now”

“Steve has a hot date”, Natasha smirked. “he’s kind of nervous about it”

“There’s no need to be nervous”, Tony drawls out pushing back on his chair. “Women love to talk about themselves. Just ask her about her hopes and dreams. She is a real human woman right?”

“I’m not sure I should be taking advice from you” Neither did he want to discuss his love life before an important meeting. Although he had to agree it was pretty good advice.

“And money. Women like money”, he continued going through his phone

“Don’t listen to Stark’s misogynistic wisdom. Not all girls are after money” Natasha said throwing Tony a glare.

“Yeah he’ll find out for himself soon enough”, he threw back.

Steve knew money played a part in relationships. It provided security. He was grateful about the more than sufficient funds in his bank account. Some from his army back pay and some from working for shield and the Avengers. After the days he had seen during the depression he considered himself very lucky to treat you to an expensive meal or anything else you would like. But at the same time he didn’t want you to be interested in him solely for his money.

He parked the car he borrowed from Tony outside your apartment building. Both him and Natasha had given him long lecture while laughing at him when he said he was going to pick you up on his motorcycle.

When he looked at your red dress he was more than glad that he didn’t bring his motorcycle. He tried to supress the fact that he was so mesmerised by you. He gave you the small bouquet of roses he had bought on his way.

“Wow”, you exclaimed looking at his hair. “It suits you. Can I touch it?”

He couldn’t supress his lovesick grin and shyly nodded his headed. Sighing in content feeling you run your fingers through his shirt hair.

He felt you shifting in your seat on the drive to the restaurant. It somewhat calmed him to know you were just as nervous.

You both took and seats and ordered some food. You were looking around at the decor in awe talking about how beautiful and sophisticated everything is.

He hasn’t been on a date in more than 70 years. He did take your coat but forgot to pull your chair out for you, the hostess beat him to it. In his anxiety he had already knocked down a fork and cringed so hard he was sure you noticed.

He was going picking at his brain to find something to talk about. This was your first date. He had to make a good impression.

“So... what are your dreams?”, not the best start but he could still recover.

You tilted your head at him giving him a small laugh. “Just the normal things, I guess. To have a successful career... to be happy. What are your dreams?”

“I... well I’m not so sure anymore. I used to want the simple typical things. But then I became Captain America...can’t exactly have that now”,

Maybe he shouldn’t have started with something so heavy so early on. When he became Captain America his life didn’t belong to him anymore. That alone would be more than enough to scare you off.

“That doesn’t mean you can’t still want those things”, you said lightly shrugging “Why did you? Become Captain America, I mean you’re great at it. But it must be a huge responsibility” you asked as the server placed your food in front of you and filled your glass with wine.

“I’ve just never liked bullies”, he started as soon as the server left “being Cap gave me a chance to fight them”

“That’s ironic. Considering America is the probably biggest bully in the world”, you said with a humorless laugh.

Glumness settled over his face. He nodded at you. He had hoped that 70 years would bring about positive changes in the world. While things were better than before they weren’t nearly as good as he wanted them to be.

“It’s a good thing though. You and your superhero friends can keep the country and the world in check”, you said giving him a cheeky smile stuffing the pasta in your mouth. He returned your smile digging into his food.

As the conversation flowed he found himself relaxing and settling down. It didn’t feel like he had only known you for two weeks, not from how comfortable he felt with you. Talking to you. Holding your hand for a few seconds here and there.

After dessert he drove you back to your home. Walking you to your doorstep something caught his eye at the many mailboxes that aligned the wall.

You looked at the mailbox he was staring at. “That’s my Anna’s married name” You looked back at him. “My sister”, you continued still staring at his confused face.

He gave you a small nod “I work with someone called Rumlow”

“Probably a coincidence”

“Yeah. Thanks for keeping me company tonight doll” As much as he didn’t want the night to end. He had to leave just so he could see you again. Preferably sooner rather than later.

“Doll?”, you asked frowning

“You don’t like it?”, he asked nervously. He still wasn’t sure what was considered appropriate. Everyone told him different things.

“I... well I like my name”, you averted your gaze looking at the tiles on the floor. “Thank you so much for today though. I had fun. Can we do it again?”

“Yes!” He gushed instantly “When are you free I’ll call you or text you?”

You nodded at him playing with the buttons on his shirt before slowly stroking the lapel of his blazer looking up at him with a pout.

Steve maybe clueless when it comes to women but he wasn’t an idiot. He took the hint leaning down to meet you in the middle as you stood on your tippy toes. He lightly pressed his lips to yours.

He had planned to keep it chaste and modest, he was a gentleman after all, but then you slipped your tongue into his mouth and threw your arms around his neck pulling closer to you. There was no holding back now. He slid his hands to your waist and hoisted you off the the ground. Up in the air a few inches to match his heights.

You smiled into the kiss. Stifling your giggle so you didn’t have to break the kiss. Feeling completely pampered and spoiled. He put you down on the ground putting his hands in pockets of his dress or he’d to tempted to steal another kiss.

“Good night” You breathed out after a couple of moments of just staring at each other.

“Good night” He almost called you doll again but stopped himself. Choosing to just say your name. He pressed a kiss to your forehead, he couldn’t help it. And left. Already excited to see you again as soon as possible.

[artxyra]

Another DC TA Marinette Story

*So the other version is strictly a one-shot drabble post while this one might, and I repeat might have more than two parts. 

Part 1: Welcome to Gotham 

Part 1 (here) | Part 2 | 

Marinette’s having a bad day. It started with her waking up late, breaking her five-day streak of waking up early. She nearly fell on her way down the stairs, thankfully she remained unharmed. Then she was late coming to class, but that mainly due to poor time management decisions. Only for her to then realize that she’s no longer a student, but the teacher assistant for Mme. Bustier’s class. 

“Look Mme. Bustier, Marinette’s late again.” Lila points out, as the graduate rolls her eyes and takes her place in the back of the classroom. 

“That’s enough, Lila.” Caline scolds, before turning her focus to her teaching assistant. “Is everything alright, Marinette?” She asks. 

Marinette nods and pulls out a folder filled with paperwork that needs to be grade. The class continues as follows. Caline spoke about the upcoming projects about the American lifestyle in specific cities. Marinette would finish the paperwork, pull out her laptop, and take a few notes on class’ behaviors. 

Everything seemed fine, but that crashed when Lila thought it would be a great idea to once again open her big mouth. 

“Mme. Bustier, I cannot do this project as [insert overly used lie here].” She pouts. 

“Girl, I can help you. She did say that we can do it as a group project.” Alya interjects with a smile. 

Lila ever with the dramatics, “Oh Alya, you can’t be serious. I don’t want you doing all the work.” 

Marinette could feel her phone buzz in her pocket. She pulls it out to see that it was a message from Gotham’s Prince. She smiles and opens the notification. 

Gotham’s Prince: Did you sleep well, Angel?

Gotham’s Fashion Sense: It was good until it wasn’t. 

Gotham’s Prince: What do you mean?

Gotham’s Fashion Sense: You’re not with me. 

Gotham’s Prince: Well, soon I will be. 

Gotham’s Fashion Sense: And I’m counting down the days. 

Marinette looks up from her phone and sees that her former classmates are staring at her. She shrugs and places her phone in her pocket.  

“What city do you plan on doing, Marinette?” Alix shouts out catching the attention of both Caline and Marinette. The teacher and her assistant lock eyes before the former curtly nod. 

“Gotham.” Marinette murmurs, gathering her supplies to neatly present them later. 

“I actually visit Gotham, you know.” Lila states, “If you need any help, I’ll gladly give information to you.”  

Marinette scoffs and forces a smile towards the pathological liar, “Thank you, Rossi, you will be my last resort.”

Lila once again started the dramatics by crying her eyes out. It is amazing how that liar can still be able to cry with the amount she has done. 

It wasn’t long before the class was over. Marinette walks over to the front desk and hands Caline the stack of graded assignments.

“Thank you, Marinette,” Caline says, accepting the assignments. 

“I want to tell you in advance that I’ll be joining my boyfriend in a couple of days. Do you think that you’ll need me during that time?” 

Caline thinks for a moment then she shakes her head, “I don’t believe so, Marinette. Thank you for the heads up in advance. How are your studies going?” 

Marinette smiles, “They’re going great, my business classes are helping me in running my freelancing business. And I already finished my fashion assignments earlier this week.” 

“I’m glad to hear that,” Caline opens the door for the two of them to exit through. Marinette walks out first with a quick curtsy to the gesture. 

Marinette’s phone buzzes again. 

Gotham’s Prince:  You are the only person that my brother will listen too, call them. 

Gotham’s Fashion Sense: Why? 

Gotham’s Fashion Sense: What did they do now? 

She didn’t receive an answer. Shrugging, Marinette places her phone in her back pocket and make a beeline to the main entrance. 

“I’m sure whatever charm you have over Mme. Bustier, will be gone before you know it,” Lila whispers into the graduate’s ear. Marinette rolls her eyes and continues to walk away. Unbeknown to Lila, it was a smirk that presented on the teen’s face rather than a pout. 

“That was very brave of you, Marinette.” Tikki complements when the two are alone. 

Marinette turns to her kwami and smiles, “I have way better things to do than to let some phony ruin my day. Besides what she does will indeed hurt her at the end.” 

“Marinette…” Tikki sighs with a giggle at the end. 

“What? You know that it’s true. As long as the class doesn’t know that I actually graduated last quarter, anything that she throws at me will be seen as an assault.” 

“You’ve been spending to much time with Jason, haven’t you?” Tikki wonders. 

“Only on the weekends, Tikki.” Her chosen jokes before catching the sight of a certain blonde model. 

“Hey, Manette,” Adrien Agreste greets, running over to the graduate.  

“Hey, Adrien, how was your photoshoot?” 

“It could have been better if Lu was there, but I rather suffer in silence and get comforted later.”

“That’s...good to hear.” Marinette’s eyes narrowed unsure of her reply. “Have you thought about the city assignment?” 

Adrien shakes his head. “Honestly, I have no clue. I was planning on doing Smallville, but I don’t know.” He looks to Marinette with kitten eyes, “Are you really doing Gotham?” 

Marinette nods only to lean against a nearby wall. 

“I figure that would be easier to do since I’ve been there and all.” She admits, holding her arms against her chest. 

“Great, Gorilla is here.” Adrien groans. 

“He’s more of a guardian than anyone else,” Marinette states, spotting the large bodyguard and pushing herself off the wall. 

Adrien sighs and wishes the fashion designer a farewell before heading over to Gorilla. Marinette smiles softly seeing how much the model has changed since entering the public school system. Of how he has grown since becoming Chat Noir, granted they did have their ups and downs but once he finally accepted his being, everything has been smooth sailing. 

---------------

Gotham’s Prince: Check Twitter.  

Marinette’s eyebrow raises at the message and she opens up her Twitter app. 

Dick Grayson @theflyinggrayson Grumpy-pants here is missing his GF

Below shows a picture of Damian Wayne looking at his phone with what appears to be a sad look on his face. 

A chuckle escapes her mouth. 

Manette @GothamsFashionSense  Thanks for the laugh @theflyinggrayson, I pretty sure that you all miss me.

 Marinette then adds a cute kitten gif relating to the post. 

Gotham’s Prince: What the hell, Angel! 

Gotham’s Fashion Sense: You asked and I delivered

Marinette places her phone back into her back pocket and walks in the direction of her family’s bakery.

--------------------------

“What do you mean you won’t be able to come?” Caline Bustier asks her assistant in the middle of a meeting. Marinette bites her lower lip and looks between the principal and the full-time teacher. 

“What I mean is that I’ll be overseas staying with my boyfriend’s family around that time. At the very least tell where you’re having the class exchange at and I can make plans around that.” Marinette informs the two with arms cross and an irritated look on her face.

“The exchange is with Gotham Academy, Mlle. Dupain-Cheng.”   

Marinette’s eyes bug out. Her whole demeanor changes. “No,” She denies. 

“Will that be a problem, Mlle. Dupain-Cheng?” The principal asks slightly concern for the alumna’s wellbeing. 

Marinette straightens herself out. “No, in fact, I will already in Gotham. If something does come up, I will only be a phone call away. Will I get there in time that will depend on what I am doing at the moment.” 

Caline’s face brightens, she’s not going to be alone with the class in Gotham. “That’s great news to hear, Marinette.” 

“Yes, I’m sure. The trip is in a month, correct?” 

“Yes, and the exchange will last for about four weeks. Mme. Bustier will only be there to oversee the program and class if something were to go array. They will be living in housing provided by the school as we’ll do the same to their students.” The principal states. 

Marinette nods, “Is that everything or do I need to fill out any paperwork allowing me to supervise the class while at Gotham Academy?” 

“I do have the paperwork here for you to fill to get access into the building. Other than that you--well we should be fine. I will inform you if anything has changed.” 

“Thank you, Principal De La Fontaine.” Marinette exits the office with a smirk on her face.  

Ever since the akuma has begun showing up in France, the Paris school board officials declared Principal Damocles unfit to be a principal and opted for De La Fontaine to oversee college and lycee of the Dupont schools seeing as they are short-staffed. Marinette was able to take the Baccalauréat after pleading to her parents. Thankfully, she was able to pass on her first try and even convinced the school to allow her to be a teaching assistant until the end of the school year. 

----------------

“I’m telling you Dami, I have everything ready and pack for my trip to see you.” Marinette states into the phone. She sighs and switches shoulders as she is placing the final set of clothes into her suitcase. On the other side of the phone, Damian said something that causes her to roll her eyes. “Damian I will end this call; besides, you know that I would call you if something goes wrong. I’ll see you in two days. Je t'aime.” Marinette ends the call before she couldn’t find it in her to blow up her international data even more. 

 Marinette throws herself onto her chaise sighing, “Tikki, should I take the miraculous box with me or ask Kaalki to open up a portal?” She wonders as her flying ladybug kwami hovers beside her. 

Tikki, munching on a cookie, says, “Marinette would it even matter. You use Kaalki every time you go to Gotham. It’s a miracle that you’re parents haven’t caught on yet.” 

“You say miracle, I say luck.” Marinette plays, “Besides making it look like I go to the airport has covered my quick trips pretty darn well.” 

“Well, what are we going to do about Hawkmoth?”   

“I’m giving Luka and Kagami their miraculous for when the class goes to Gotham as Adrien will most likely be joining them. Hopefully, Hawkmoth doesn’t do anything drastic while we’re gone.” Marinette sighs and kicks herself over to lay on her back. 

Tikki could only smile at how far her chosen has come. From the unsure thirteen-year-old to the now strong level-headed seventeen-year-old woman. Ever since Fu’s amnesia, Marinette has done a great job of making sure that everything regarding the miraculous box is kept secret and safe. She created a box similar to her diary box to protect the miraculous box. 

---------------

After giving Luka and Kagami their miraculous, she (as Ladybug) informed them that she will be once again going on a vacation overseas. The two wished their friend farewell with the promise of calling her when Hawkmoth attacks.

“I expect details on the proposal when I get back,” Marinette demands, pointing at Luka causing him to blush thinking about a certain cat-themed hero. 

“You’ll give a heart attack if you keep saying things like that, Manette.” 

“I know,” Marinette beams. 

The group of three hugs each other before parting ways. 

-----------------

Gotham’s air may have never been clean as crimes happen all the time, but to Marinette, it was like a second home. She loves returning back to Gotham since she met the Wayne family, which was completely by accident. Well, it wasn’t much of an accident it was through Jagged Stone that they met; however, it was by accident how she met Damian. 

“Angel! You’re here...finally.” Damian greets his lover of two and a half years. Marinette giggles and runs into his arms. She misses the feeling of his body warmth and well just him in general. Just don’t tell the others that.  

“Of course, I’m here and now you’re stuck with me for two months.” 

Damian is taken back, “What happened to being here for two weeks?” 

“A class exchange with Gotham Academy. As the TA of the class selected, I was roped into joining them on their journey to hell.” 

Damian curtly nods his head and wraps his arms around her torso. He kisses her cheek causing the Paris native to blush.

Manette @GothamsFashionSense Look’s who’s back in action. Can’t wait to spend time with you all. 

In the attachment is a photo of Marinette posing in front of the Wayne Enterprises with a smile reaching her eyes. Comments flood the designer’s notifications to the point she had to turn them off. The majority of the comments were from the same people, the entirety of the Bat-family.  

---------------

“Jay-Jay, I swear if you play a prank on me, you’ll receive no cookies for the rest of the week,” Marinette growls, exiting the guest bedroom--well it’s really hers, but won’t admit it.

“Todd, it’s too early for this.” Damian groans, coming from behind the designer in a personalize pajama design set. 

Jason stares at the two in shock and teasingly asks with a mock sense of seriousness, “Did you at least used protection?” 

Marinette’s jaw drops as murderous intent rolls off Damian. 

“I’m gonna kill you, Todd!” Damian screeches, pulling a katana out from miraculous knows where and chase at the laughing anti-hero. Marinette stood frozen as a rosy pink color spreads across her cheeks. 

“Why would Master Damian and Master Jason be running down the halls, Miss Marinette?” Alfred wonders, appearing in front of the designer. 

Marinette shakes her head and gives the butler a cheeky smile, “Jay-Jay being inappropriate. I wouldn’t be surprised if he actually kills Jason today.” 

Alfred sighs and tells her that breakfast should be done in a moment. Marinette happily nods then returns back to her room to get change. 

------------------

“What do you mean that Marinette isn’t coming to class?” Chloe shrieks, when Adrien announced that Marinette had left for a trip yesterday. The entire class could only focus their ears on the two blondes for gossip. 

“It’s like I said, Mari, said she’ll be gone for a couple of weeks. She didn’t say where and all I know is that Mme. B let her off the presentation assignment.” 

Chloe scoffs then huffs at the newfound information. “Well, that will explain why Lu and Gami showed up last night instead of her.” 

“I’m sure she’ll give us a call when she settles in,” Adrien adds on just as Mme. Bustier walks into the classroom with a stack of papers in hand. 

“Good evening class.” She greets, setting the stack down on her desk. “As you all know, our class was selected for a class exchange with our American partners. These are your permission slips to sign and date for the trip. If there is any question, please do not hesitate to contact me.” 

“How long will we be gone for?” Alya asks raising her hand without being called on. 

“The program will last for four weeks. What you learn during the exchange will count as a credit to graduate.” The teacher smiles. “Are there any other questions?” 

No one else raises their hands. Caline smiles at this and begins to hand out the permission slips. 

“Have these all turned in by the end of this week.” 

“What about, Marinette?” Surprisingly, this question didn’t come from the protect Marinette squad but instead Juleka, who is usually quiet in the class. 

Caline is taken back, “Marinette will be joining us for this exchange. We have already contacted her parents. Are there any other questions?” 

The room goes silent. Caline nods and turns on the projector. “Today we will be going over your presentation assignment. The only person excused is Marinette as she has completed hers in advance.” 

Of course, the class blows up at that declaration. 

 “What, why does she get special treatment?” Alya’s voice booms through the classroom. “If you one it should be Lila!” 

“Alya, calm down, the reason why Marinette did her assignment is that she won’t be with us these coming weeks. If you have an issue with that take that up with her. Now please, can I continue with my lesson.” Caline could feel a headache coming. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to mention Marinette’s presentation and just use it as a template for the others to follow. 

--------------

Manette @GothamsFashionSense    Been in town for two days and these idiots are still the same. Mar’i, honey, you the best!

Below the tweet is an attached image of Marinette sitting in the middle with Mar’i Grayson on her lap laughing as Damian appears to be yelling at Jason, Tim’s head smack-down on the table a coffee cup in hand. Dick behind them all with Kori’s arm wrapped around his torso. 

Marinette laughs at the impending struggle Damian has in an attempt to once again harm Jason. She plays with the young toddler on her arms as Mar’i tries to take a scoop of the leftover ice cream. Marinette bounces the young Grayson in her lap and feeds a scoop of ice cream. 

“It’s so nice to have you back, Nette. Mar’i miss her Auntie.” 

Marinette chuckles brushing off the comment, “Mar’i has several other Aunts, how could she miss me? Beside’s I’m not even a Wayne.” 

Kori raises an eyebrow and Dick coughs up a “Yet.” before turning away as if he didn’t spill anything important. 

“Pardon?” Marinette wonders turning her attention to the older Grayson. 

“It’s nothing Bluebird, just a cough that is all.” Marinette purses her lips before deciding to let it go to play with Mar’i. 

Mar’i squeals in delight as Marinette plays with her stomach.

Damian watches from the corner of his eye. A smile sneaks it’s way up onto his face. 

“Wake up, Replacement.” Jason say as he kicks Tim’s leg. 

Tim’s arms grab the nearest coffee cup and drinks from it. He bounces back up with sleep still in his eyes. 

“Tim, you need sleep.” Marinette states. 

“Look whose talking. When’s the last time you slept?” Tim counters, knowing that they would have battles on who can stay up the longest without rest. They’re pretty much tied for first. 

Marinette was about to open her mouth, but one glance at Damian told her otherwise.

“Angel, when was the last time you slept--I mean actually slept?” Damian asks, appearing behind her. He kisses her cheek. She blushes and leans her head into his chest. 

“I’m fine, my prince. I actually slept well last night.” She answers before whispering, “Being next to you and all.”  

Jason oohs but quickly moves to evade the punch that Damian was about to throw. Marinette laughs and pushes away the mess that Mar’i created on the table. What a normal evening with the Wayne’s. 

“So, Bluebird, how are your studies going? I hear that you have a big project coming up soon.” Jason asks, taking a seat across the designer. 

Marinette chuckles, “They’re going great and that big project you supposedly heard about is nearly done, but it’s not for a class.” She teases. 

“Do we at least get to see it? C’mon Bluebird, help your brother out.” 

“Damian doesn’t even know about it.” Marinette narrows her eyes at her boyfriend. Damian chokes on his drink and looks away. “Jay-Jay you will be the first to know.” 

“Hey, what about me?” Mar’i’s voice asks looking up to her aunt. 

“The second person, Jay-Jay, you will be the second.” The designer corrects herself before snuggling the younger Grayson in her arms. Mar’i giggles.

Jason scoffs, but he has to agree that seeing Marinette and Mar’i acting all cute and stuff was a miraculous sight to see. 

Dick Grayson  @theflyinggrayson The two Maris in one place 

Attach is a photo of Marinette holding Mar’i outside the ice parlor smiling at one another with Damian off to the side looking longingly at Marinette. Comments from the surrounding BatFamily, Dick’s followers and co-workers flood the comments section. 

----------

Two weeks of pure and utter bliss. Too bad, it had to end seeing as the worst class at Dupont Public schools in Paris is coming to Gotham Academy the next day or so. Marinette’s mentally preparing herself to the slaughter of comments that will be coming her way. 

“Mme. Bustier, I can assure you that I will check with the academy this afternoon about the arrangement. You can worry about preparing the class for this trip.” Marinette speaks into the phone. 

Damian waits for the call to end to sweep in and be the caring boyfriend. He kisses her cheek and holds her. 

“These next four weeks are going to be hectic. I just know it..” Marinette mumbles to him. Damian huffs tightening his grip. 

“Thank you, Dami.” Marinette pauses, “I really needed that.” 

“Of course, Angel.” They kiss. “Do you need any help?” 

Marinette shakes her head. 

---------------

Back in Paris, the class gathers at Dupont for departure. Parents came and went saying goodbye to their teens and wish them the best. Lila’s already trying to spin a story that focuses on her and this time she really trying hard to spin her web deeper than ever 

“It’s been forever since I’ve been in Gotham, you know. The last time I was there, it was for a Wayne Gala and my Damibear asked me out. It was so magical. I was dress is this sunset like gown and he was matching me. You know, when I told him that I was coming, he practically jumped with joy…” 

Adrien and Chloe could only wince at the sound of her voice and eluded lie. Everyone in their right mind would know that Damian Wayne has been in a relationship with this girl under the username GothamsFashionSense as the Wayne family tweet about her a lot. Along with that, she look eerie similar to Marinette but with black hair and pink lowlights.  

“I can’t wait to see their faces when the cat jumps out of the bag. Oh, how her empire will crumble to nothing.” Chloe admits to, reapplying her lip-gloss.

“Well, I just hope this all ends before graduation. Do you think Mari will be joining us on the flight or something?” Adrien wonders as he watches Luka say his goodbyes to his sister. 

Chloe shrugs and looks at Kagami, who’s coming their way. 

“‘Gami,” Chloe greets hugging the Japanese fencer. 

“Hey Bee, and hello to you too Adrien.” 

Adrien curtly nods to Kagami. Luka walks over to them and stands behind the blonde model. No one but the two women in front of them notices the interlocking of their hands. 

“You think you can live without your model for a couple of weeks?” Chloe hints with a smirk on her face. 

Luka sarcastically laughs, “Yes, I’m sure Bee.  Though the real question is can you last without your dragon for four weeks.”

Chloe scoffs as Kagami laughs pulling her girlfriend closer to her. 

It wasn’t long before Mme. Bustier called for the class to get onto the bus. The couple gave their significant others a quick kiss or in Adrien’s and Luka’s case a hand tightening before heading off. Oh what they shall await when they reach Gotham. 

~Part 2

As of 12/9/19, the Tag List is CLOSED

Any asks before that will still be added. After that, I’m sorry but can follow my fic tags.

Tag List: @virgil-is-a-cutie | @thejustmesimplyme | @mewwitch | @tamoni112 | @goggles-mcgee | @bb-basbusa | @mochinek0 | @schrodingers25 | @zalladane | @jessigurl-design | @constancetruggle | @tog84 | @shamefullove | @mindfulmagics | @scribblinggraveyard | @clumsy-owl-4178 | @captainmac6 | @vivilakitty | @sonif50 | @mystery-5-5 | @emjrabbitwolf

[ohdarlingohsweetheart]

SEVENTEEN.

One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve | Thirteen | Fourteen | Fifteen | Sixteen | Seventeen | Eighteen

Second time's the charm~

A casual greeting at a book store turns into so much more.

[WARNING]: This is a YANDERE story! Stalking, murder, the whole nine yards!!! Read with caution!

If you find this story on any website NOT under misfitgirlwrites/misfitgirl3390 please let me know!

Font for book cover credit (x)

  The rest of their trip went very well, thanks to Cherri being able to cheer Leo up. 

   "I don't wanna leave." Cherri finished packing and flopped onto the bed as Leo chuckled.

   He was more than ready to get out of Florida before he killed somebody. "We can always come back again. Have you checked your email?"

   Cherri paused. "No. I'm a little nervous." She had finally put in her college application after a bit of convincing.

   "You should check. I'm pretty sure they would've gotten back to you by now." Leo zipped up his suitcase.

   "I'll check it later." Cherri sat up and grabbed his arm, pulling him close as Marcel and Mary came into the room with Nova following.

   "You two ready to head to the airport?" Nova asked.

   "Cherri has to check her email first." Leo looked at his sister.

   "I'm nervous! What if I don't get in?" Cherri furrowed her eyebrows together, "I kinda waited and--"

   "You'll definitely get in." Leo shook his head.

   "Yeah, your SAT scores were awesome! And you're a student athlete!" Mary added.

   "It's okay to be nervous. Mary hasn't checked hers yet either." Marcel shrugged.

   "He hasn't either!" Mary shot back.

   "This is about Cherri."

   Leo chuckled. "It's alright to be nervous. Here, I can do it for you?"

   Cherri nodded and handed Leo her phone. He went to her emails as she shuffled a bit closer. "See look, here's an email from them. Looks pretty official~"

   "Hh--please don't tease, I'm nervous enough already!"

   "Alright." Leo clicked on the email and read over it. It wa as silent for a bit and the anticipation was almost too much for Mary.

   Cherri squealed and jumped up, "they accepted me! I got in!"

   "OH MY GOSH!" Mary cheered.

   "Thank you so much!" Cherri hugged Leo tightly and he laughed, hugging her back.

   "For what?"

   "For convincing me to apply and offering to help. I love you." Cherri smiled.

   "Gross." Marcel mumbled.

   "Hush!" Cherri hugged Marcel as well and he hugged her back.

   "I'm happy for you. Dad is gonna be real proud." Marcel grinned.

   "I know." Cherri agreed. "And you two are going to staying in Maryland. Pennsylvania seems so far."

   "It's not!" Mary assured Cherri. "It's two hours tops!"

   "If you think we won't come visit, you're crazy." Marcel teased.

   Cherri smiled slightly. "Of course and I'll visit you guys too! I just never thought I'd be able to go."

   "I'm glad you're able to! You deserve to be happy!" Mary cooed.

   Mary was very right about that. Cherri deserved all the happiness in the world and Leo was willing to give her just that. 

   "I'm so proud of you guys!" Nova clapped. "We should go to dinner when we get back to Maryland! I'll stay for a few days."

   "That sounds perfect!" Cherri agreed.

   What a perfect way to end their trip. It could gone better but it also could have been much worse, so Leo couldn't complain. This plane ride back, he was sitting next to Cherri and he listened to her talk excitedly about Arcadia and going to Pennsylvania with him. Leo was excited too, he had already started looking at houses close to her college. That could be a conversation for later though. 

   Leo wanted to focus on Cherri and celebrating. Though he honestly couldn't wait to get home and hold the redhead in his arms. He's had enough of interaction with others to last him weeks.

~~~

   "Gosh I'm exhausted," Cherri took off her jacket and stretched as Leo came in behind her and closed the door. "I had so much fun!"

   "I'm glad." Leo took off his jacket as well.

   "I know a lot happened, but did you have fun too?" Cherri looked at him.

   "Despite what happened I still had fun, babe." Leo wrapped his arms around her, "but I'm just happy to be home with you."

   She smiled and hugged him back, "next time we can go to a different place for a vacation! Just you and me!"

  ��Now that sounded absolutely lovely. "Don't tempt me. We could just leave now, you know." Leo teased.

   Cherri chuckled, "I don't mean this soon, silly. I have to get ready for college!" 

   He loved seeing her this excited. "Are you going to run track while you're there?"

   The redhead paused, "...I'm not sure. I liked it in the beginning but I only kept going because of my d-dad."

   It was still a touchy subject.

   "It was the only thing he let me do, a-and it was my way out of the house."

   "I understand." His voice was soft. "I was just curious, baby."

   "I know. I'm sorry, I don't like talking about him still." She mumbled.

   "I understand. Here let's just relax, alright?"

   "Okay."

~~~

Taglist: @lilkrissmuffet​

[sheepyships-archive]

The Lover’s Case

summary: a collection of headcanons for an au created including eli clark as a private detective and me as his badass partner, and how we work together and begin to simp for one another.

genre: fluff, light crack?? angst/comfort sprinkled in at the end

warnings: cops, gore(??)/murder scene mentions, violence and nightmares, angst/panicking but it’s fixed with comfort!

a/n: an au idea i suddenly had at like 10 pm and continued to write till 12:44 am, private detective!eli clark x rebel to-be partner!me au owns my heart so i decided to write headcanons for it because i was thinking about him and was in a shitty mood before bed, so... headcanon time!!!

-eli’s a private detective(in his recluse outfit ofc because i am truly a simp for that fit) and works on his own or strictly with other detectives

-(he doesn’t trust the police because where it’s set in this au, they’re known for fucking with evidence when it’s fitting for them, and also fuck cops in general so he’s a mainly lone private detective)

-i’m a well-known rebellious citizen that enjoys snooping around and looking into crime that goes on, even going to the scene of the crime when no one is around to get a closer look and come up with my own theories

-listen i don’t want to go to college and have one job for the rest of my life, that applies in this au too

-even though i could get into trouble for snooping too far in and not being a certified detective, fuck you and fuck off my life my rules

-we are the bad girl x good guy aesthetic, i have a motorcycle and have a lot of grunge outfits and he looks put together and calm

-but don’t be fooled! we are both also badass of course.

-i lowkey and unofficially become his partner in the cases he takes after we bump into each other at one of the crime scenes(a m//rder scene to be exact) he was going to inspect, and he found me examining it

-when he starts to scold me for how much danger i could be getting into(with the police or the culprit) i only argue back with him, and give him my own ideas i have about what could’ve happened because i don’t let bitches scold me

-even though i can be stupid and overthink, a lot, among other things. listen i may be stupid,

-anyways! while some of the ideas i spouted are... definitely outlandish(on purpose because i’m not serious half the time), some of them make a lot of sense and he didn’t even think that they could be connected to the case

-after first he’s hesitant to work with me, but i annoy him into letting me help and he begrudgingly agrees to work with me

-“but only this once. you aren’t even a certified detective...” “HELL YEAH LET’S FUCKING GO!”

-eli talking to his owl after that interaction: “brooke rose have i made a mistake?”

-but after i help him a bit more with the case(and give a lot of my attention to brooke rose as i help him), he’s able to figure out the case and solve it, taking the right steps to have the culprit arrested!

-case complete! but something still feels... missing, at least for eli.

-he realizes the potential i have in solving cases than the whole police force in the town or any other detective he worked with

-after a few days of thinking it over, he decides to make me his partner, and he goes to my house one night and gives me the offer, which goes a little like this:

-he steps up to the door of the apartment that i live in, he was able to sneak in somehow, but that’s not important

-when he knocks on my door, he has brooke rose on his shoulder, knowing that’ll show he’s there in a more casual and calm sense

-when i open the door i’m only in a baggy sweater and shorts, and he’s like 😳 because he’s thinking, ‘oh wait she’s kinda cute..’

-and he’d only seen me in a black leather jacket, a long band t-shirt and skinny jeans, so this is new

-eli unlocked my night fit. i unlocked eli’s attraction to me. ✌️😌

-i lean against the doorframe and cross my arms, looking up at him with a smug grin,

-“aww, hey owl detective! i wasn’t expecting to see you so soon, do you need somethin’?” “you... could say that, how would you feel about being my partner, [insert my last name because fuck you i ain’t risking that]?”

-so after that, he takes me under his wing

-that’s funny haha wing joke because he still has brooke rose his owl hehe

-m’kay shut up katlin you aren’t funny just write the headcanons.

-remember when i said i have a motorcycle in this au? that’s boutta come back up now

-we definitely ride together in my motorcycle, he used to have to walk or run around everywhere, but after meeting me, not anymore!

-having him sit behind me with his arms tightly wrapped around my waist is a must since he doesn’t know how to ride a motorcycle and we don’t want him to fall off, y’know?

-“are you enjoying yourself, eli?!” “HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT I AM ALWAYS AFRAID WHENEVER I RIDE WITH YOU!?!” “...i’ll take that as your doing splendid!”

-i don’t even ride that fast, he’s just not used to it since he’s used to traveling around town by foot

-i hold my arm out for eli to grab onto so he doesn’t stumble and fall onto the ground, giggling when he “glares” at me, but we continue on with our business!

-yeah the motorcycle stuff is self-indulgent because i want this to happen

-as time goes on and we become closer by working on more cases together, or hanging out a bit outside of work, we become much closer! with us becoming closer we also begin to harbor

-well, y’know, romantic feelings towards each other

-for how we officially get together, i have it all planned out.

-it’s one night after one we are taking a vacation off of working on the cases, because of one we were working on for awhile was finally solved

-it was a longer, more draining one, with us continuously getting stuck, being stopped and questioned by the police(who repeatedly threatened to arrest us, especially me(and eli too, even though he was literally a private detective)), kept losing the culprit and getting into danger with the culprit sending their henchmen after us, etc. just very draining and stressful for the two of us.

-one night, eli has a nightmare back to one of the nights where we were being followed by the henchmen of the culprit while riding home on the motorcycle

-in real life, we were able to escape from them by going down a deserted road and losing them before heading to eli’s house to hideout at, which was closest at the time

-but in his nightmare, we heard a pop noise and one of the motorcycle’s tires deflating and we’re forced to pull over

-before we can run or hide, we are ambushed are being separated from each other when they grab me and drag me away, i struggle and yell at them and eli is pinned down onto the ground, on of the assailants elbows digging into his back while they held his arms behind him

-eli can only watch hopelessly as i’m dragged off, screaming for me, and at our captors to at least let me go and take him instead

-before more can happen in the nightmare, eli pulls himself out of it in cold sweat, shooting up off his bed and breathing in and out heavily, he sighs and stands up off his bed

-brooke rose can tell he’s uneasy and flies over to comfort him, he starts to pace around his home, fiddling with the things he owns, getting water(even if he wasn’t thirsty), etc. he was nervous, and this wasn’t like him

-then, some scary thoughts start to form in his mind, making his original nervousness increase tenfold and become full on panicking

-was katlin alright? was she sleeping peacefully at her home? what if the culprit’s henchmen were still after us? or after her specifically?

-oh fuck.

-this made him panic and he quickly flew up from whatever he was doing before to go get dressed in his usual attire, putting the bandages around his eyes before running over to my place, brooke rose flying behind him

-as he’s running, he doesn’t even realize that he’s started crying under the bandages, his focus on getting to my place and making sure i’m safe

-when he arrives, he almost runs into the door, but is able to stop in time and starts to knock on it

-the loud, obnoxious knocking wakes me up and i grumble before walking over to the door and opening it while rubbing my eyes

-“it’s four in the fucking morning, who is-“

-as i look up to see eli, and see how his panting and obviously distressed, my irritated and tired mood completely switches to a concerned one

-“wh- eli? are you okay? what’s going on?” “i just- i had- i had to make sure that..”

-he isn’t able to make a coherent response and just let’s a sob fall from his lips, nearly collapsing onto his knees in front of me

-i’m of course freaking out too, the usually calm and collected eli is now a sobbing mess at my door, and i have no clue why, so i begin to panic as well

-i place my hands on each of his shoulders and pull him closer into a firm hug, wrapping my arms around his neck and pull his head into my shoulder

-eli almost immediately accepts it, wrapping both arms around me and clinging onto my baggy pajama sweater, sobbing into my shoulder

-“let’s get you inside, okay? i can make you some hot chocolate or something to eat?”

-he nods and i lead him into my house, sitting him down on the couch before disappearing off to my kitchen only to return minutes later with hot chocolate and some snacks, setting them down onto the table in front of the couch

-“i know you probably expect a meal and stuff, but i live alone and don’t have many guests over, so this is all i really got.” “there’s no need for anything fancy, katlin.. thank you.”

-as he starts to slowly eat and drink, we sit there in awkward silence for awhile, neither of us super tired now

-“so, umm.. what was it that you had to make sure of, eli?”

-he freezes for a moment when he remembers the nightmare he had, he sighs and rests back on the couch fully

-“i... wanted to check on you, to make sure you were okay. i had a nightmare back to the night when we were being followed and had to hide at my house, and... and-“

-his admission makes me flush somewhat and become warm, i turn to him as he attempts to stutter out an answer, taking his hands and squeezing them

-“don’t continue if you don’t feel like you’re able to right now, i’m here and i’m safe.”

-eli turns to me, i smile even though he can’t see it and gently wipe his cheeks that were damp from his tears with my sleeve, he relaxes and scoots closer

-he feels me gently run my hand along his bandages and he tenses up as a frown forms on his features, slowly reaching up to grab my wrists, making me freeze up completely

-“m-may i?” “do it, move my bandages..”

-when i do move the bandages down to rest around his neck, i see his blank, distant, grayish blue eyes, he sighs and takes my hands into his

-“i didn’t know how you would react, but.. now is a better time than ever.” he says with a sigh, as if everything is finally being lifted from his shoulders as he continues, “i... i’m blind. it’s part of the reason why i worked alone for awhile, i didn’t want others to find out and think i’m useless, even though i’m not.”

-i’m taken aback by his confession, at first i’m angry at whoever made him feel this way, but brush it off and focus on him again, now smiling and holding his face with my hands and press my forehead into his

-“i’m glad you can recognize your own strengths, because you are so strong, and brave, eli. you’ve gone through so much bullshit with so many people in this goddamn town, and you continue to prove that you can be trusted, and are capable of doing great things! maybe those bitches will never understand my thinking, but i believe you are just.. so amazing, and inspiring, for everyone around you!”

-eli has to bite back a sob when he hears me pour my heart out to him about how i feel, biting his lip and smiling, he shuts his eyes and starts to tear up and cry again, but now out of happiness as he presses his forehead into mine in return

-“i... i love you, fuck, i love you.” he murmurs as the realization of his feelings hit him like a train, he places both hands on my sides, starting to move closer to me and pull me closer to his form

-i open my eyes wide and look up at him, seeing him crying. my gaze softens on him with love and i smile once more, gently wiping his tears away as some small tears form in my eyes, “i love you too, you have no idea..”

-eli smiles and moves his head back for a moment, he reaches up slowly and feels around my face with his fingers, making me giggle in confusion until his thumb touches my lip, and realization hits me almost immediately.

-“are you gonna..?” “i want to, but only if you’ll let me.”

-when he feels me nod, he leans closer as his eyes close, but he stops when his lips are just grazing mine and he freezes up for a second, but then he leans in further and kisses me gently, holding my chin in between his fingers now

-i close my eyes and place my hands on the back of his neck, melting into the kiss and moving my hands up behind his head to run them through his hair before we pull back after a moment, i smile.

-when i start to yawn, i look up at the clock nearby and am shocked at the fact that an hour and a half has already passed, but am nonetheless happy that i spent that time with eli.

-“it’s already five thirty? christ... eli, do you wanna just wanna stay here with me? it’s almost morning, and it’d be rude of me to kick you out after, well, y’know..” “i would enjoy that greatly.”

-we end up falling asleep in my bed, facing each other with our arms wrapped around one another, my head resting in the crook of his neck, right under his head while he rests his on top of mine

-we both sleep peacefully from then on.

-so... we’re basically detective partners but also in love, i do not do not make the rules

[notquitecanon]

Clean Break // Marvel/Criminal Minds Crossover (reader insert)

yeah, no one asked for this, it’s entirely self-service bc I’m trash

______________

Early 2010

You slammed your go-bag down in your car, taking a deep breath to compose yourself. Logically, you knew it had been a bad call- physically confronting the unsub by yourself when he had a hostage. Bad Idea. Not to mention some other risky calls you had made lately... 

But you pulled it off, getting the kid-safe and subduing the bad guy. Hotch didn’t see it the same way, not only had he pulled you away to scold you in private- but there had also been a yelling matching in front of part of the team. 

As soon as the jet had landed, Hotch ordered you on two weeks suspension. You had arguments on the tip of your tongue, but the warning look Derek was sending you from behind Aaron told you to just accept it.  This team was like a family, and sometimes families fought. 

As you slid into your driver's seat you could still vividly feel the white-hot embarrassment of the entire team staring at you while you collected your things. The awkward “I’m sympathetic but you lowkey deserve it” smile from Spencer. JJ and Garcia promised to get lunch with you soon, and Prentiss offered to meet for drinks as well, which you politely smiled and nodded too knowing they’d be too busy with cases. Rossi had stopped you on your way out and told you to, “Get your head on straight.”

Your knuckles turned white as you gripped the steering wheel with one hand and roughly turned the key to start the engine. My head is on straight, they’re just not willing to take risks. You bitterly thought as you drove out of the parking garage. As you merged into the street, you finally got radio signal- the speakers flickering to life with an all too familiar, “I am ironman”  before merging to another later interview with the billionaire turned superhero, Tony Stark. 

You flipped to the next station, flinching at the terrible techno beats before flipping it again, this station flooding your car with drawling, “he-done-me-wrong” country music. You flipped it back, another irritated sigh, “Iron man it is.”

“I can’t trust the military with my tech, obviously, but it has too much opportunity to just shove in a box. So the responsibility falls to me to use Ironman to save people.” Tony Stark explained you could here the self-righteousness in his voice. The profiler is you couldn’t help but scoff. 

“Classic Narcissist with savior complex tendencies.” You remarked as you drove. You turned down the volume as you continued your drive, the suburb of Quantico slowly turning into bigger city D.C. 

Finally, you slid into a parallel parking spot across from your apartment building. The drive made the red-hot anger turn into defeated resignment, you knew you made mistakes and Hotch called you on it- he wasn’t singling you out, even if he was a little harsh, in your opinion. You recognized you arguing hadn’t helped your situation, I dug this grave, now I have to lie in it. But I can lie in it with the nice bottle of wine Rossi got me for my birthday. 

Resignedly, you started making plans for your two weeks as you rode the elevator up to your floor- you juggled thoughts of visiting your family back home, maybe visiting some old friends, briefly, you thought of starting an online dating profile and going on some dates. I should call and apologize to Hotch, he might have been harsh, but I definitely provoked him. You thought as you unlocked your apartment, quickly turning off your alarm before taking off your gun.  

You looked around your apartment, all the lights were off, deathly silent, almost empty. Two weeks of this, I’m going to go crazy. 

Four days later, you had officially run of out things to do. You had cleaned, cooked, tried new restaurants, shopped, rented movies, even read books that Spencer’s suggested list. You were going stir crazy- the Team was already on a new case according to Penelope, your old friends were all working, and your family was weirdly busy. 

On the fourth day, you went to the movies, returning to your apartment at 9:30. Immediately, you knew something was wrong- as soon as you stepped into the apartment, you noticed the lights, all were off (which you knew you didn’t do) except one light in the living room. I know I unplugged that lamp. 

You grabbed your gun off the entryway table, a million possibilities going through your head as you flicked the safety off and began stalking towards the living room. As you rounded the corner, your eyes landed on your intruder. 

“That won’t be necessary, Agent.” 

His voice was deep, confident. Your intruder was a tall, dark-skinned man, a black eye-patch matched the near floor-length black leather coat. He was wearing a black turtle neck, black slacks, and (shocker) black shoes- and was sitting in your favorite chair, only partially lit by the lamp beside him. Your trained eyes easily picked out the three guns he had hidden on him. 

“Who the hell are you and why the hell are you in my house?” You growled, still not lowering your gun. 

“My name is Nick Fury, director of SHIELD, and I’m here to offer you a job.” 

____________

“So you want me to profile a billionaire, a former Russian spy, a SHIELD agent, and Modern-day Jekyll/Hyde?” You asked sarcastically after Director Fury explained his proposition.  

“Possibly more. And then I want you to tell me if my initiative will work.” He nodded, you quirked an eyebrow. 

“And will my opinion matter if I tell you something you don’t want to hear?” You inquired, carefully watching him for an answer. 

“It will influence my decision, yes.” He nodded. He was a good liar, but you still noticed the subtle ticks. You ignored them. 

“Why me? I have a whole team of talented profilers-” You started, thinking of Hotch and Rossi’s experience, Reid’s brilliant mind, Derek’s determination, JJ and Prentiss’s unique methods of profiling... 

“No, your team’s first loyalty is to the Bureau, Aaron Hotchner and David Rossi will never leave the FBI, we tried to recruit Dr. Reid out of college he turned us down, Jennifer Jareau gets too caught up by her family, Prentiss was a good candidate but not while her mother is still working, political agenda gets very dangerous. Derek Morgan is too headstrong, especially when it becomes to .” He paused, before nodding to you, “Additionally, you’ve got a good bit of experience with the BAU but haven’t been there long enough to be considered a security risk to SHIELD, also with the recent sanction, we’ve determined that you’re willing to take risks that the FBI won’t let you take. That what makes you attractive to SHIELD. The sanction also gives a convenient break to recruit you to SHIELD.”

It was like a combination of Hotch and Spence talking to at you, slightly completely overwhelming. “You don’t have to decide now, but here’s my card.”

And then Director Nick Fury was gone as quickly as he came. And you had some thinking to do. 

______

“Hey, Hotch, I know I’m still suspended, but I’m just calling to update you- because well... well you’ll understand soon. I’ve made some personal decisions, and some things are going to happen soon, and I just wanted to let you know that it’s not because of my suspension. I just wanted to let you know that I’m not angry, and this isn’t a spiteful or rash decision.” You explained to the voicemail, almost relieved Hotch didn’t actually pick up. He’d ask questions that you couldn’t answer, but you couldn’t stress enough that you weren’t mad at him or anyone on the team. 

Director Fury had officially stopped dealing with you directly, instead sending another supposedly high ranking SHIELD official. Agent Coulson had decided it was best if you didn’t tell your team about your transfer, that he’d handle everything (re: go above Hotch’s head and handle everything at a political level). While most FBI agents knew about SHIELD,   Phil had stepped out for a moment allowing you to quickly leave the voicemail, which made you feel better about leaving your team.  

“So, uh, yeah, tell the team to be careful. I can’t say anything more, but, uh yeah. Bye, Hotch.”

You clicked off the call, shoving the cell in your pocket. Phil stepped back in, as always followed by three agents. “Well, you are officially an Agent of SHIELD. I’ve sent Agents to your desk to pack it up. Agents will also pack up your apartment, Fury wants you working ASAP.”

You simply nodded, zipping up your go-bag. Ain’t no rest for the wicked.

_______

Meanwhile at the BAU:

Dr. Reid glanced up at Aaron Hotchner’s office. He’d been on the phone for an hour, pacing his office back and forth. “What do you think is going on?” 

“No idea, but with that look, it can’t be good.” Prentiss thought aloud, glancing at the young doctor before watching Hotch through the blinds. Derek came up beside her, sipping at his coffee. 

“Think it has anything to do with (Y/N)?” He asked, leaning against the desk. JJ, on her way back to her office, stopped by. 

“We’ve been fielding so many calls from higher-ups. So I don’t think so, Strauss was pretty indifferent about (Y/N)’s suspension.” She said, lowly. Suddenly, Aaron came out of his office causing everyone to hurriedly go about their business- trying (and failing) to be inconspicuous as they stared after their supervisor who rushed out of the BAU. 

“What was that all about?” Prentiss asked, staring after him. 

“Uhh, guys?” Garcia called, approaching the other agents as quickly as the ridiculously tall orange heels she was wearing that day would let her. 

Derek Morgan quirked an eyebrow, quickly concerned after noting the shock on Garcia’s face. “What is it baby girl?” 

“So I was just checking on our absent friend, trying to see what she was up to and whatnot, and when I checked her facebook, (Y/N)’s page was deleted. And I know you’re asking, Garcia, why does this matter? I’ll tell you, because then I checked every other social media page she has- and they’re all gone. Her home phone is cut off and her lease was broken today. So either she’s Gone Girling us, or someone is trying very hard to make sure she doesn’t exist anymore.” Penelope listed off, words flying out of her mouth at a rate that was dizzying. She paused to take a breath, but Rossi had emerged from his office, standing against the railing that separated him from the rest of the bullpen. 

“My bets are on them.” He announced motioning to the entrance. The rest of the team snapped their heads that way, all eyes widening at the posse entering. Four agents, two men and two women, were trailing behind a woman who appeared to be in charge. Hotch was hot on the head-woman’s heels lowly hissing something at her with an angry look plastered on his brow. 

The entire team jumped up when the four henchmen (for lack of a better word) began rooting apart your old desk while Hotch was still arguing with the woman in charge. “Hey, Hey, you can’t just tear her desk apart, man!” 

Derek was the first to argue, but they just ignored him, throwing books, personal items, and office supplies into boxes. Morgan flicked his eyes to Hotch, “What’s going on?” 

Hotch didn’t answer Morgan, instead, using his size to try and intimidate the agent, “You can’t barge into my bullpen, and start packing up her desk.” 

Spencer watched the tense interaction, but approached the other most experienced person in the room instead, “Who are these guys, Rossi?”

“SHIELD, I’ve dealt with them once or twice- but it never turns out good.”Rossi divulged, his eyes never leaving the SHIELD agents. While almost every FBI agent knew about SHIELD, not many knew that much. Everything about SHIELD was a rumor at best and classified at worst. The doctor’s eyebrows crinkled, remembering the recruiting agent that approached him at his first college graduation as he watched Hotch.

 “You can’t pack up her desk and then ask us to pretend like she never existed! That’s one of my agents and this team deserves to know the terms of this transfer!” Hotch demanded, his voice loud and scarily determined. That was the voice that sent killers shaking, but this SHIELD supervisor didn’t waiver.

“She’s not your agent anymore, and contact has been severed at the orders of someone far above both of our heads Agent Hotchner.” She paused, watching her goons put lids on the three boxes they’d packed, “Now, we will be leaving. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.

”It only took them five minutes to erase every shred of evidence that (Y/N) (Y/L/N) had ever stepped foot in the BAU. The only proof they had was memories.

 Chatter immediately broke out amongst the bullpen, but Hotch stopped it with a simple sentence, “Meet in the briefing room.”

______

“....some things are going to happen soon, and I just wanted you to hear it from me first so I could tell you I didn’t do it because I was mad at you or my suspension... I just wanted to let you know that I’m not angry, and this isn’t a spiteful or rash decision.” 

There was a pause in your voice, before you resumed, “So, uh, yeah, tell the team to be careful. Go out, save some people, and put some sickos away for me… I can’t say anything more, but, uh yeah. Bye, guys.”

With that, the voicemail clicked off. The team sat in silence, each person quietly processing the voicemail, every verbal tic, every pause, every quiet chuckle. 

Hotch cleared his throat, “I got that voicemail as I walked into the BAU today, immediately thereafter I received calls from both FBI and SHIELD superior officers telling me the (Y/L/N) was being transferred to SHIELD. She has been ordered to maintain zero contact, and, as far as we know, will not be returning to the BAU.”

“Sadly, we don’t have time to argue with the higherups, because we have a case and it’s time-sensitive…”

So with heavy hearts, the BAU kept moving and tried to ignore the empty seat at the round table.  

_______

yeah no one asked for this but Imma keep writing it until I’m tired of it

[wendyblanquelg-writes]

Women as priests? Not I.

The first time I went to church was when I was baptized, but I don’t really remember attending mass for the first few years. As toddlers, we may remember glimpses of our babyhood yet not until the age of about five or six is when we start to retain all of our memories. My earliest memory is waking up at the crack of dawn on the queen sized bed I shared with my mom and seeing she wasn’t next to me. I might’ve been about five or so, and the sky outside was a bit cloudy; I now assume it must’ve been near the end of summer and the beginning of fall when tiny me saw the world through a new lens. I had climbed out of the covers, jumped to the floor, and ran to my grandma’s room in fear of being alone and in almost utter darkness by myself. That’s all I remember about that day.

I’ll never forget the first time my mom took me to church with the intention of having me fall in love to committing to God. Oh, did I become enamored with the beautiful architecture, stained glass windows, gold chalices, chronologically placed images of Jesus being crucified, angelic ceiling paintings, the twinkling lights that scream Christmas, and the smiling people who made me feel welcomed and appreciated. My mom’s only wish was complete: God had me in his hand—hypnotized in the idea of having someone love and care for me unconditionally my whole life.

Before mass, my mom had been telling me for days about taking me to church where we can pray with others and not just each other before bed. She went on about who God is, Jesus being his son, and I, his new follower. Never was I told off the bat that sinning was a grand deal to God or the church, probably because I was innocent at the time. Going to mass sounded like the dream, a second home that wasn’t Mexico, a new part of my life that I was ready to venture on like so many Disney characters did in their heroic plots. 

That Sunday morning I woke up at 7am ready to get changed. Our church is a block over from us so we walked down to the alley and took the broken gravel road straight to the golden doors which were slightly cracked, being held open by an older man. My mom’s hand held mine tightly as we entered and she reached over to the wall where water was held. She dipped her finger in it, signed the cross on her forehead then did the same to me. It smelled funny but homely, I loved it. Every person I seemed to look at would look back at me happily as if they’d been expecting me my whole life. The lights dazzled me, the recurring kneeling, standing, and sitting movements wowed me, the united dialogue made everyone sound interconnected, and my first la paz, “peace be with you,” was my welcome home. After people shook my hand I couldn’t stop looking at it and felt the pain and love from everyone I had ever touched—truly magical. I was home.

You can expect my mom’s happiness over the years of my love for mass, learning my prayers, excelling in catechism school, and my good behavior from knowing I’d be punished by God if I were a bad child. By the age of 8, I knew what I wanted to be in life: a priest. In my heart I felt like God’s favorite, his teaching being my calling, his followers being my new family, our love being one. 

I was devoted, yet when I told my mom my dream, she smiled and said, 

“That’s great, but there are only male priests.” 

“But why?”

“That’s how it is,” was all she said. I was so confused.

I later brought it up to my grandpa and he said in Spanish,

“That’s outrageous, that’s crazy, you can’t be a priest. Priests are and SHOULD only be men.”

How is it that after my long three to four years of devotion and love to God was not enough for me to be a priest? I once asked a priest if I could one day hold his position. He looked uncomfortable with a tinge of anger when he said no, but that I could work in other parts of the church to help. I was unsatisfied with everyones answer and God especially, for not letting me be what I wanted to be. I didn’t fight them on their answers nor stopped loving church for a few years either. I still wanted to be the person everyone came to for confession, to alleviate them from their stress and sins, to read and lecture people on the word of God, to host fundraisers and events to help the poor, to continue studying until I was close to God himself. There simply wasn’t a door for me to enter into priesthood. Even the word ‘priest’ sounded specifically male to me after a while, like the sound of each syllable denied a woman to take hold of its title. The word became bitter in my mouth.

I started reading Dan Brown’s The DaVinci Code, Angels & Demons, and many other books that questioned religion. Did Jesus actually marry Mary Magdalene and have a secret child? Were the scripts lying and the men in the priesthood hiding the truth of our famously loved icons? Is God real? Are there really non-believers who do not go to Hell? I thought everyone believed in Him, was I his favorite who was supposed to question his authority and change the church’s establishment? No, instead, I started detaching myself from my second home after not being fully welcomed after all. I didn’t want to be a nun, or a receptionist, or the woman who went around during mass with a clipboard taking attendance; I wanted to be more, to help more. I tried to stop loving Him.

Throughout high school and college I’ve gained an interest in learning about Catholicism, I wasn’t sure why. From what I learned my sophomore year in a theology class, only men are ordained as priests because Jesus only chose men as his apostles. When I read that, it made sense to me only because at that time women were not allowed to hold any position of power. Women were still handed over to their husbands by their families, much less would society had taken them, or Jesus, seriously because gender equality was an outrageous concept to them. Was it possible that Jesus did not want to risk women being mistreated more than they already were, by being made an apostle? Men might’ve shrugged off Jesus’ teachings if they saw something out of the norm being used: women. We might never know. What I came to find, was that through all my research I only wanted to find the flaws in God’s word and written history, to find an answer that said, “I’m right, God’s right, but the church’s institution is wrong.” I became angry at being denied by humans who thought they could tell me I couldn’t help God, not God himself.

In an article by the National Catholic Reporter, Polish Roman Catholic priest and Theologian of the Papal Household, Wojciech Giertych, was asked why women cannot be priests. He said that no one can say why Jesus chose who he did to share his teachings, and that “The son of God became flesh, but became flesh not as sexless humanity but as a male,” and that since priests are to be the image of Christ, “[priests’] maleness is essential to that role.” He later says that some parts of being with the church call for having and loving the church in a “male way,” where men apparently “show concern about structures, about the buildings of the church, about the roof of the church which is leaking, about the bishops’ conference, about the concordat between the church and the state.” Anyone, really anyone, can admire the archaic structures of holy houses, just like I did. I fell in love with the church also because of the Roman Catholic church architecture, so it mustn’t be a “male way,” but a “in-tune with the world and details way” where one doesn’t just go into a building with no attention to what’s around, but takes in everything. That isn’t male, it’s human.

The theologian does mention that women’s mission in the church is “beautiful” nonetheless because they touch God and Jesus’s heart differently. They encounter Jesus with faith, charity, approaching, touching, and kissing Jesus’ feet. Luckily, Giertych did acknowledge that “a Catholic woman might sincerely believe she is called to the priesthood, said such a “subjective” belief does not indicate the objective existence of a vocation,” I suppose that’s me? I, who felt entitled and deserving of being a priest is a, I guess you can call, reasonable idea or thought, but simply can’t be because the position doesn’t exist. I see now.

Vogue published a piece in 2018 about seven women being ordained Catholic priests by two bishops on June 29, 2002. This act was looked down upon by the Church and the women, the “Danube Seven,” were excommunicated from the church after refusing to nullify their ordination. Many priests were upset, some of the women’s priest superiors told them “that their sin in being ordained was equal to a clergy member sexually abusing a child.” Despite these comments, many of the women claimed that they felt spiritually awakened and called to the church—just how I was many years ago—and continue their religious path with pride. 

Now there is an emerging movement and group that advocates, supports, and ordains women as Roman Catholic priests: the Roman Catholic Women Priests (RCWP). Their movement supporting women has gone international, reaching and ministering women in over 34 states, Canada, Europe, South & Central America, South Africa, the Philippines and Taiwan. Many men are also part of the movement to grow this new chapter in Catholic history. The first women ordained initiated this movement: Iris Müller, Ida Raming, Pia Bruner, Dagmar Celeste, Adeline Roitlinger, Gisela Forster and Christine Mayr-Lumetxberger; creating an opportunity for more women to partake in the Lord’s work.

Although I would not become a priest today, or in a few years when women priests are officially accepted by the church, I’m glad that the door has opened for others. I no longer am a strong believer in the church, if even a believer, after so many cases of rape behind sacred doors, abuse, and the neglect of women holding power. The fight for equality continues and may not cease, ever, and it is everyones job to ensure that doors we’ve known to be closed to our fellow women start cracking open—even if dust is thrown and moths come bugging. I might have lost my inspiration and dream, but I’m better off where I am now. Other young girls who also feel the need and love to share God’s teachings like I once did, now have a better chance and warm embrace of following their calling; may God be with them.

[sugihana-trans]

“Aokute, Itakute, Moroi” Chapter One

So the publisher actually released the first chapter of "Aokute, Itakute, Moroi" online for free as a trial read, so I thought it would be alright for me to share it here.

DISCLAMER: This is not the official English translation. I did it myself, and it`s not for profit.

Source

“We became adults without forgetting that season.”

All actions has the possibility of causing discomfort to the other person.

That’s what I’ve thought for the past 18 years right up until high school graduation, and have decided to make it my life’s motto as a freshman in University. In other words, don’t get too close to people and try not to speak out against someone else’s opinion. Doing so will reduce the chances of me offending someone, which then reduces the chances of me getting hurt by someone who was offended.

That’s why when I first met Akiyoshi Hisano at the University, I thought that there really are people in the world who are this presumptuous, foolish and slow, and secretly ridiculed her inside.

It was the second Monday of my first year at University. After we’ve picked our courses, we were to begin regularly attending classes starting this week. On a day when college students are supposed to be at their most motivated, I was sitting by myself at the end of the auditorium, not belonging to any circles (*clubs) or joining any freshman recreational activities. In my own way, I wanted a quiet college life.

It was 3rd period, General Education, Peace and Conflict Studies I‌ think. I was flipping through the textbook while waiting, when the professor eventually went up to the podium quietly, and then the room with only freshmen inside became quiet and solemn.

However, during a class which requires an unexperienced 90 minutes of concentration, the students’ minds naturally started relaxing. A buzzing auditorium; I wondered if the professors are already used to it every year as the class proceeded without paying extra attention.

I was probably also zoning out since I’m the type who, in the first place, couldn’t even keep my concentration during classes in highschool. So being in this 90 mins class which seemed to go on forever under a fine spring weather, I never thought I’ll spend the next four years without ever getting rid of that sensation.

The class immediately got boring. I looked outside the window at the end of my seat. The laughter of students without classes and the sound of birds were fusing together with the sunlight.

Then disrupting such a beautiful moment, while I was resting my chin on one hand and my head was down, I heard that voice.

“Excuse me, can I ask a question?”

A loud and lively voice, echoing in the quiet auditorium. Everyone woke up and looked around for the owner of the voice. I was just as interested, but I didn’t have to look around. Because I heard the voice coming from a girl who was one seat away from my seat to the right. Stealing a glance, the girl was sitting up straight with her right hand raised up towards the ceiling as if showing off her own courteousness.

I wasn’t listening to the lecture so I‌ thought the professor had asked for questions. Beyond the girl’s strong gaze however, “I will accept your questions later,” the elderly professor just prompted her to lower her hand with a bored face. Watching her carefully with one eye, I could see that although the girl slowly lowered her hand, she showed such a dissatisfied expression that it must’ve been seen from the podium as well. When the professor said, “But it’s fine now too,” the girl’s expression became lively and she expressed her gratitude in a voice which reached the whole auditorium.

If you think about it, a girl displaying an unthinkable idea to ordinary students, discussing with the professor, the University having such an amazing person, it could’ve been an interesting memory for me as a college student. Then, I’m sure it would’ve just ended there.

But it didn’t.

“I don’t think violence is necessary in this world.”

She started her questioning with those words, as if borrowing a phrase from someone virtuous, like something you learned in a moral class at elementary school. It was kind of embarrassing to hear.

Is this what you call an idealist? After listening to her talk, the professor didn’t bother hiding his scorn and said, “Everyone knows it would be nice if it’s like that.” From inside the auditorium, I heard small voices saying, “wow,” “what was that,” “ouch.” I didn’t imagine them.

The girl shut up after the humiliating conversation with the professor, and even though everyone seems to entirely ignore her existence, the class moved on while still wearing that atmosphere of having ridiculed someone.

I sent her a look again after that, not because I was interested in what someone who interrupts a class to announce their personal opinion would look like. Secretly, it was just funny to see the sullen face of the person who got shot down after making that stupid speech.

So when I glanced at her expression sitting sideways, it wasn’t disappointing, but I was surprised. Because she had a hurt look on her face. I turned towards the front like I’ve been shocked.

I’ve seen similar behavior from other people like her in junior high and highschool before, with that same thought pattern. At any rate, they’re the type of people who only believe in their own words, can’t read their surroundings, and gets taken for an idiot. That’s why it was unexpected when she didn’t show a bad mood from being rejected which is typical for that kind of human being.

Even if I didn’t want to get involved, I’m sure I was interested in her face at that time.

Nevertheless, because that interest was only at the same level as hearing some strange music downtown, it didn’t matter to me anymore by the time the chime rang.

I submitted the one-word evaluation questionnaire confirming my attendance and left my seat. I didn’t have any 4th period classes on Mondays so I decided to head to the cafeteria for a late lunch.

There were already people here at the campus dining room. In a place where I’m still getting used to a new environment, I got the daily set meal on a tray, took a seat by the window in a table for four people, placed my hands together then raised the miso soup to my mouth.

“Hey, are you alone?”

A voice that has nothing to do with you tends to just blend in with the other background noises. Naturally at that time, I didn’t think I was being called so I put a piece of fried white fish in my mouth. It made a nice crunching sound as I bit into it before accidentally dropping it back on the plate in surprise when my shoulder was suddenly poked.

I raised my face while still holding my chopsticks, and was once again surprised. It was the cringey girl I sat next to in the previous class, standing in front of me now with a tray of cutlet curry.

“Hey, are you alone?”

She repeated her question, which made me realized the words from before were definitely aimed at me.

“Oh, uh.”

I didn’t understand why I was being spoken to. There was no need to lie though, so I nodded for the time being. She showed her teeth while smiling, and sat down with her tray in front of me.

“I sat next to you in the previous class. I’m also by myself, so is it alright if I join you?”

Seriously? I thought. Aside from that demeanor which she uses to express her opinions in class, I’m afraid she might also have too much useless self-confidence.

What I couldn’t reject was one of my life’s themes. More than avoiding people, I often put more weight on not going against the opinion of the other person, and that was how I felt on that day. Nothing else.

“Y, yes.”

I used formal speech considering the possibility that she might be a senior. I thought that auditorium only had freshmen, but I could actually be her junior from the way she speaks so casually. And what causes her to suddenly try and have a meal with someone she doesn't even know like it’s normal might not only be because of her cringey personality. I wondered if she was actually a senior student who just have a lot of spare time in her college life.

“You can speak casually, you’re a first-year right?”

“Eh?”

“Huh, are you perhaps a senior?”

Seeing her stick out her little tongue and widen her eyes in surprise gave me the feeling that she was indeed a cringey person. It would’ve been nice to run away, but I didn’t want to lie so I just shook my head.

“No, I’m a first-year”

“Ah! I’m glad! I ended up freaking out, rushing to start off my college life.”

She placed a hand on her chest, and expressed her relief exaggeratedly with a breath. I wondered if that was her “rushing” in the previous class.

“Oh, I apologize for being so sudden, but I still don’t know anyone yet. I was feeling anxious when I saw you, and since we sit next to each other in class, I came to talk to you. I’m sorry, were you bothered?”

I was bothered.

“No, it’s alright.”

“Ahh thats good, um, I’m Akiyoshi Hisano.”

A self-introduction right away, I thought, a person with high self-esteem.

“I’m in the Department of Politics, are you as well?”

“No, I’m in the Department of Commerce.”

“I see. Can I ask your name?”

A question I can’t refuse.

“Ah, it’s Tabata.”

“Tabata-kun, although it’s sudden, it’s nice to meet you.”

Akiyoshi bowed her head. Her trimmed hair falling around her shoulders. I also bowed my head along with her. Whenever an unexpected event occurs, it’s usually better to just go along with it.

“By the way, what is Tabata-kun’s first name?”

“……Uhh.”

I hesitated to speak. It’s not like she did anything wrong by asking this very common question.

It’s a personal matter, but I hated my first name. If it was a handsome guy for example, he might be proud of having a name that’s too beautiful. On the other hand, if the gap between that beautiful name and the person’s inferior looks are too far apart, it might be funny. I was hesitant to say my own name which was halfway between the two and didn’t suit me. But of course, I didn’t have the courage to ignore questions from people.

“Kaede……”

And of course, this complex didn’t really matter from the perspective of the other person.

“Tabata Kaede-kun. An area in a rice field?”

“Ah, the edge.”

Akiyoshi took out a cellphone from her shoulder bag, played around with it and then put it back in her bag. The bag’s strap was digging into her shoulders.

“I made a note of it~”

With squinted eyes, she smiled showing her teeth, picked up her spoon and took a bite of the cutlet curry like it was a long-awaited treat. After seeing that, I looked away and went back to eating the fried fish on my plate again.

“I got so hungry in class, my belly was rumbling. Did you maybe hear it?”

“Oh, no.”

I didn’t care.

“That’s good. I usually eat a lot more than this, but not as much as Tabata-kun.”

“Quite healthy.”

“A habit from when I played soccer in highschool. I wonder if I should eat less now though.”

In other words, it seems she didn’t come from a strong school that emphasized wins and losses. Deciding to reduce her eating means she probably doesn’t intend to play soccer in University.

“Tabata-kun, do you play any sports? Oh, sorry for asking so many questions.”

Considerate, or at least someone who tries to be. Taking into account what happened in class before, I had imagined she was the type of person who will rudely invade someone’s space, but she seems to be treading carefully for the time being.

“No, it’s alright. I didn’t do much sports when I was in highschool.”

“Culture club?”

“Going-home club.”

“Are you not planning on joining anything in University too?”

“Maybe, seems like it. Ah, how about Akiyoshi-san?”

“I’m thinking of joining something, but there are so many circles including the unofficial ones that I’m a bit lost. I am a bit interested in something like a simulated United Nations though.”

“A simulated UN?”

“Yes yes, it’s amazing,” Akiyoshi responded, using that introduction as a platform to explain the simulated United Nations to me.

To summarize Akiyoshi’s story, it seems like the simulated UN was a club activity that tries to imitate the United Nations, where people who are interested in international issues gather together as representatives of various countries. I see, I was starting to understand her personality a little bit more.

“What do you think of it, Tabata-kun?”

“It feels like a difficult TRPG.”

There was no reason to denounce or affirm this simulated UN so I thought of saying something that doesn’t do either one. This time though, it was Akiyoshi’s turn to repeat my words, “TRPG?” In a similar flow as before, I couldn’t help but to explain TRPG, trying to keep the concept as simple as possible.

“I think it’s similar to a game where like, everyone kinda takes on a role, and so on.”

“Eh! Sounds interesting! I would love to be the hero.”

As if imitating a sword, Akiyoshi held the curry spoon in front of me. I wasn’t expecting her to react that happily, so I was surprised.

“You’re right, the simulated UN might actually be something like that. If you’re interested, would you like to check it out or join together?”

“Eh, um, no, sorry.”

I refused after being invited, and whether or not I looked sorry didn’t matter because I didn’t even want to be sorry.

That being said, declining her offer slightly went against my life’s theme, but of course, she wouldn’t know anything about my inner feelings. With a smile, she said “Hmm, it’s completely alright. I’m sorry about all of this so suddenly,” and placed her hands together in front of her chest. She seems to understand the merits and demerits of her own personality though, which gave me a good impression. Just a little bit.

“No, um, personally, it’s not that I‌ dislike you.”

“Really? I’m glad. I’m the sort of person who gets easily charmed.”

I thought so too, but she didn’t look like the type to care about that because of her cheerfulness, so the relief she showed was surprising. I also figured girls like her tend to know their place, and just follow along according to how the rest of her group feels.

I don’t know if it’s because I said I‌ didn’t dislike her, but it seemed to have made Akiyoshi feel better. This time, she didn’t stop and asked me a lot of questions. I‌ answered to some extent, and got her information in exchange.

Originally from Ibaraki prefecture, active enrollment, living alone, applied for a cram school part-time job, likes shounen manga and Asian Kung-Fu Generation.

She seems like a regular person if you just listen to this information, but because that behavior in class was my first impression, I unfortunately saw everything about her through a cringey filter. And I‌ didn’t bother fixing that warped viewpoint. I‌ thought it wasn’t necessary.

“Then, see you later.”

The classroom for my next class was far so I stood up first and waved at her. “Yeah later” she replied, though I didn’t actually think there would be a “later.” I’m not being a cruel person.

People like Akiyoshi are the type who can talk to anyone, and will soon find someone else better to talk to while forgetting about the person they used in the meantime. I‌’ve been used in similar situations several times before, and understand it’s something that can’t be helped.

That’s why I didn’t think I’ll have a “later” with Akiyoshi, and thought it unnecessary to understand her properly.

However.

I‌ didn’t have to wait for next Monday. During 4th period on Friday, in a classroom fit for 50 people, sitting with a good posture was Akiyoshi who waved her hand at me as I‌ entered from the front of the classroom. She was sitting at the very back by the window, and moved closer next to me.

“Good morning. It’s been awhile, Tabata-kun.”

“Uh, yeah, so you were taking this class too.”

“Right, I‌ also didn’t realize.”

Anyways, I sat down while thinking whether Akiyoshi’s friends were also coming. I‌ wondered whether I‌ should’ve moved.

But i‌t seems I‌ didn’t need to be that considerate.

Akiyoshi happily talked to me about getting that cram school part-time job until the chime rang. It looked like she didn’t make any other acquaintances around her.

When the class started, Akiyoshi stopped chatting and looked straight ahead. I wasn’t as serious, but I‌ also turned to face forward and listen to the lecture. Vaguely in my mind, with this person called Akiyoshi, I‌ thought about whether a “later” existed with her.

I didn’t have to think about it after all. About an hour after the class started, I‌ was able to learn one of the most significant reason amongst my many reasons.

I‌ heard a voice.

“Excuse me, can I ask a question?”

This time as well, I didn’t have to search for the owner of that voice. Seriously? I thought. Once again, I‌ was next to the person but this time, I knew that voice.

I‌ looked to the side, and Akiyoshi was raising her hand just like that time.

The professor was kinder to Akiyoshi compared to the previous one. “Oh, alright. You paid for tuition so you’re a part of this class. What is it?” he asked, forgiving her disruption.

“Thank you very much.”

I could guess what Akiyoshi was going to say after, but I‌ regretted making that prediction when it came true.

With child-like idealism, she spoke with a voice that echoed throughout the classroom, once again posing her own personal opinions as questions.

I didn’t secretly ridicule her this time. However, I‌ was stunned. Although it was just a little bit, I‌ had thought she was a normal person back in the cafeteria.

But I‌ wasn’t the only one who was surprised. From somewhere, I‌ heard something unbelievable.

“How many times is it now?” they said.

I understood what that meant, and felt dread.

No way, is this person doing it in other classes as well……?

I‌ never thought I’d have to change my perception on Akiyoshi.

She wasn’t a cringey person, she was bad news.

Someone I shouldn’t get involved with.

I‌ pretended to take the class seriously, and didn’t try to look at the face of this crazy person sitting next to me. I see, so that’s why no one approached her and she talked to me as if we`re friends. In other words, compared to me, the others were more vigilant towards this dangerous person.

What the heck, will it be like this from now on? I‌ started thinking of ways to escape, glancing sideways at Akiyoshi who was being rebuked by the professor, now wearing a bitter smile just like the previous professor.

For the moment, I’ve decided to just simply run away. I stood up as soon as class ended, submitted my evaluation questionnaire which I’ve already written during class, and left without seeing Akiyoshi. This should be a temporary relief. Next Monday when I’ll have to meet her again for class, I’ll go in just before it begins and sit right away, and do the same with the class just now. While doing that, Akiyoshi should forget all about me. I mean, there are so many people here in the University.

I didn’t see a reason why it had to be me.

Despite all that, I didn`t understand why she would run and follow after me.

~~~

[newstfionline]

Monday, November 16, 2020

After thousands of Trump supporters rally in D.C., violence erupts when night falls (AP) Several thousand supporters of President Donald Trump in Washington protested election results and then hailed Trump’s passing motorcade before nighttime clashes with counterdemonstrators sparked fistfights, at least one stabbing and at least 20 arrests. Several other cities on Saturday also saw gatherings of Trump supporters unwilling to accept Democrat Joe Biden’s Electoral College and popular vote victory as legitimate. Cries of “Stop the Steal” and “Count Every Vote” continued in spite of a lack of evidence of voter fraud or other problems that could reverse the result. After night fell, the relatively peaceful demonstrations in Washington turned from tense to violent. Videos posted on social media showed fistfights, projectiles and clubs as Trump supporters clashed with those demanding they take their MAGA hats and banners and leave. The tensions extended to Sunday morning. A variety of charges, including assault and weapons possession, were filed against those arrested, officials said. Two police officers were injured and several firearms were recovered by police.

Coronavirus Deaths Are Climbing Once Again (NYT) For weeks, as coronavirus cases spiked across the United States, deaths rose far more slowly, staying significantly lower than in the early, deadliest weeks of the nation’s outbreak in the spring. New treatments, many hoped, might slow a new wave of funerals. But now, signs are shifting: More than 1,000 Americans are dying of the coronavirus every day on average, a 50 percent increase in the last month. Twice this past week, there have been more than 1,400 deaths reported in a single day. “It’s getting bad and it’s potentially going to get a lot worse,” said Jennifer Nuzzo, an epidemiologist and senior scholar at the Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security.

US, Israel worked together to track and kill al-Qaida No. 2 (AP) The United States and Israel worked together to track and kill a senior al-Qaida operative in Iran earlier this year, a bold intelligence operation by the two allied nations that came as the Trump administration was ramping up pressure on Tehran. Four current and former U.S. officials said Abu Mohammed al-Masri, al-Qaida’s No. 2, was killed by assassins in the Iranian capital in August. The U.S. provided intelligence to the Israelis on where they could find al-Masri and the alias he was using at the time, while Israeli agents carried out the killing, according to two of the officials. The two other officials confirmed al-Masri’s killing but could not provide specific details. Al-Masri was gunned down in a Tehran alley on Aug. 7, the anniversary of the 1998 bombings of the U.S. embassies in Nairobi, Kenya, and Dar es Salaam, Tanzania. Al-Masri was widely believed to have participated in the planning of those attacks and was wanted on terrorism charges by the FBI.

Hurricane Iota heads for battered Honduras, Nicaragua (AP) Iota became the thirteenth hurricane of the Atlantic season early Sunday, threatening to bring another dangerous system to Nicaragua and Honduras—countries recently clobbered by a Category 4 Hurricane Eta. Iota was already a record-breaking system, being the 30th named storm of this year’s extraordinarily busy Atlantic hurricane season. The U.S. National Hurricane Center said Sunday morning that Iota had maximum sustained winds of 80 mph (130 kph), making it a Category 1 hurricane. But, forecasters said Iota would rapidly strengthen and was expected to be a major hurricane by the time it reaches Central America. The system was forecast to bring up to 30 inches (750 millimeters) of rain from northeast Nicaragua into northern Honduras. Costa Rica, Panama and El Salvador could also experience heavy rain and possible flooding, the hurricane center said.

Peru’s interim president resigns as chaos embroils nation (AP) Peru’s interim president resigned Sunday as the nation plunged into its worst constitutional crisis in two decades following massive protests unleashed when Congress ousted the nation’s popular leader. In a short televised address, Manuel Merino said Congress acted within the law when he was sworn into office as chief of state Tuesday, despite protesters’ allegations that legislators had staged a parliamentary coup. The politician agreed to step down after night of unrest in which two young protesters were killed and half his Cabinet resigned. Peruvians cheered the decision, waving their nation’s red and white flag on the streets of Lima and chanting “We did it!” But there is still no clear playbook for what comes next. Peru has much at stake: The country is in the throes of one of the world’s most lethal coronavirus outbreaks and political analysts say the constitutional crisis has cast the country’s democracy into jeopardy. “I think this is the most serious democratic and human rights crisis we have seen since Fujimori,” said analyst Alonso Gurmendi Dunkelberg, referring to the turbulent rule of strongman Alberto Fujimori from 1990 to 2000.

Lessons From Europe, Where Cases Are Rising But Schools Are Open (NPR) Mahua Barve lives in Frankfurt, Germany, with her husband, a son in first grade and twin daughters in kindergarten. All three children are currently attending school full time and in person. That’s despite a coronavirus surge that has led Germany to shut down restaurants, bars, theaters, gyms, tattoo parlors and brothels (which are legal in the country) for November. Schools were allowed to remain open. Despite the resurgence of the virus, Barve says, her children’s school’s careful safety strategies give her confidence. “When I see all the parents who are coming to pick up and drop off, they’re wearing masks. The teachers are always wearing masks. They’re doing their best to minimize risk. And as soon as something is detected, they are quarantining.” Across Europe, schools and child care centers are staying open even as much of the continent reports rising coronavirus cases, and even as many businesses and gathering places are shut or restricted. Countries such as France, the United Kingdom, Germany and Italy appear to be following the emerging evidence that schools have not been major centers of transmission of the virus, especially for young children. The U.S. has taken a different approach. As new cases climb above 100,000 per day, there are very few places in the U.S. where classrooms have remained full.

German government ad hails couch potatoes as virus heroes (AP) The German government has released a tongue-in-cheek ad hailing an unlikely hero in the fight against the coronavirus pandemic: the humble couch potato. The 90-second video posted online Saturday begins with an elderly man recalling his ‘service’ to the nation back when he was just a young student “in the winter of 2020, when the whole country’s eyes were on us.” “I had just turned 22 and was studying engineering,” he continues, “when the second wave hit.” With violins stirring at viewers’ heart strings, the setting switches to a scene of the narrator as a young man. “Suddenly the fate of this country lay in our hands,” he says. “So we mustered all our courage and did what was expected of us, the only right thing. We did nothing.” “Days and nights we stayed on our backsides at home and fought against the spread of the coronavirus,” the narrator continues. “Our couch was the front line and our patience was our weapon.” The ad ends with a government message that “you too can become a hero by staying at home.”

Austria orders three-week lockdown to rein in surging coronavirus cases (Reuters) Austria on Saturday ordered a three-week lockdown in a last-ditch effort to bring surging coronavirus cases under control and relieve the stress on the health service in time for retailers to reopen in the run-up to Christmas. The country had so far used a lighter touch in dealing with the second wave of cases than it did with the first outbreak. A nighttime curfew is in place from 8 p.m. to 6 a.m. this month but shops are open; cafes, bars and restaurants are limited to take-away service; theatres and museums are closed. The current nighttime curfew will become an all-day requirement to stay at home, with only some exceptions such as for shopping or exercise. Working from home should happen wherever possible. Non-essential shops will close, as will service providers such as hairdressers. Secondary schools have already switched to distance learning; primary schools and kindergartens will now follow suit but still provide childcare for those who need it.

900 reported arrested in Belarus protests (AP) A human rights group in Belarus said more than 900 people were arrested Sunday in protests around the country calling for authoritarian President Alexander Lukashenko to step down. The demonstrations continued the wave of near-daily protests that have gripped Belarus since early August. In the capital Minsk, police wielded clubs and used tear gas and water cannons to disperse thousands of demonstrators. The Viasna human rights organization reported detentions at demonstrations in other cities, including Vitebsk and Gomel. It said the nationwide arrest total was at least 928 and that some of those detained were beaten by police.

‘You Cannot Say No’: The Reign of Terror That Sustains Belarus’s Leader (NYT) Appalled by savage police violence at the start of Belarus’s would-be revolution, the host of a popular morning show on state television quit his job in protest and declared that his country’s veteran leader, no matter how brutal, would never “force Belarusians back into the box they existed in for these 26 years.” Arrested soon afterward and held in a grimy prison, the broadcaster, Denis Dudinsky, reappeared a few days later—this time with a video message calling on opponents of President Aleksandr G. Lukashenko to stop protesting. Asked what made him change his mind, Mr. Dudinsky declined to go into details, just remarking obliquely that “these people know how to formulate their requests in such a way that you cannot say no.” After nearly three months of protests that began with widespread anger over a rigged election, Mr. Lukashenko seems to be surviving the challenge to his power. He has managed this not just through harsh police tactics, hollow promises of reform or the passage of time. Rather, he has relied on a more insidious and often invisible machinery of persuasion, coercion and repression: a domestic security agency little changed from the Soviet era that, indeed, still uses its old Soviet name, the KGB. It controls a network of spies and monitors—known as “curators”—who oversee every establishment in the country, from schools and businesses to the presidential administration. Its agents collect compromising materials on just about anyone suspected of disloyalty and eavesdrop on the conversations of senior government officials to make sure they toe the party line.

ASEAN, China, other partners set world’s biggest trade pact (AP) China and 14 other countries agreed Sunday to set up the world’s largest trading bloc, encompassing nearly a third of all economic activity, in a deal many in Asia are hoping will help hasten a recovery from the shocks of the pandemic. The Regional Comprehensive Economic Partnership, or RCEP, was signed virtually on Sunday on the sidelines of the annual summit of the 10-nation Association of Southeast Asian Nations. The accord will take already low tariffs on trade between member countries still lower, over time. Apart from the 10-member Association of Southeast Asian Nations, it includes China, Japan, South Korea, Australia and New Zealand, but not the United States. It is not expected to go as far as the European Union in integrating member economies but does build on existing free trade arrangements.

Palestinians torn as Israel seeks Gulf tourists in Jerusalem (AP) When the United Arab Emirates agreed to normalize relations with Israel, the Palestinians decried the move as a “betrayal” of both Jerusalem, where they hope to establish the capital of their future state, and the Al-Aqsa mosque compound, the city’s holiest Muslim site. But with Israel now courting wealthy Gulf tourists and establishing new air links to the major travel hubs of Dubai and Abu Dhabi, Palestinians in east Jerusalem could soon see a tourism boon after months in which the coronavirus transformed the Holy City into a ghost town. “There will be some benefits for the Palestinian sector of tourism, and this is what I’m hoping for,” said Sami Abu-Dayyeh, a Palestinian businessman in east Jerusalem who owns four hotels and a tourism agency. “Forget about politics, we have to survive.” The prospect of expanded religious tourism could end up benefiting Israelis and Palestinians alike, as wealthy Gulf tourists and Muslim pilgrims from further afield take advantage of new air links and improved relations to visit Al-Aqsa and other holy sites.

Ethiopia’s Tigray leader confirms firing missiles at Eritrea (AP) The leader of Ethiopia’s rebellious Tigray region has confirmed firing missiles at neighboring Eritrea’s capital and is threatening more, marking a huge escalation as the deadly fighting in northern Ethiopia between Tigray forces and the federal government spills across an international border. The brewing civil war in Ethiopia between a regional government that once dominated the country’s ruling coalition, and a Nobel Peace Prize-winning prime minister whose sweeping reforms marginalized the Tigray region’s power, could fracture a key U.S. security ally and destabilize the strategic Horn of Africa, with the potential to send scores of thousands of refugees into Sudan. At least three rockets appeared to be aimed at the airport in Asmara, hours after the Tigray regional government warned it might attack. It accuses Eritrea of attacking at the invitation of Ethiopia’s government after the conflict in the Tigray region erupted on Nov. 4 with an attack by regional forces on a federal military base there.

UN food agency warns 2021 will be worse than 2020 (AP) The head of the World Food Program says the Nobel Peace Prize has given the U.N. agency a spotlight and megaphone to warn world leaders that next year is going to be worse than this year, and without billions of dollars “we are going to have famines of biblical proportions in 2021.” David Beasley said in an interview with The Associated Press that the Norwegian Nobel Committee was looking at the work the agency does every day in conflicts, disasters and refugee camps, often putting staffers’ lives at risk to feed millions of hungry people—but also to send “a message to the world that it’s getting worse out there ... (and) that our hardest work is yet to come.” Beasley likened the upcoming crisis to the Titanic saying “right now, we really need to focus on icebergs, and icebergs are famine, starvation, destabilization and migration.” Beasley said WFP needs $15 billion next year—$5 billion just to avert famine and $10 billion to carry out the agency’s global programs including for malnourished children and school lunches which are often the only meal youngsters get.

[anotherkpopvictim]

Healing - MinJoon Littlespace Drabble

(Source -  ariescults-moved)

Request from Mochi on AO3: “little Jimin and caregiver/boyfriend Namjoon. They just currently got into a relationship after Jimin's past abusive relationship. Jimin flinches a lot and is always scared he will mess up but Namjoon does whatever he can to help Jimin be more comfortable around him (Can you somehow incorporate some VERY vanilla sex? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)”

A/N: Thank you so much for the request and I hope that you enjoy it! I couldn’t help but add some platonic vmin so don’t mind me.

Also, happy birthday to Jiminie <3

Pairing: Little!Jimin X Caregiver!Namjoon

Rating: M

Words: 4593

Hurt/comfort, fluff, smut

WARNINGS: This story contains sex during littlespace. If you are uncomfortable with that, please do not read.

Also, there will be references to PAST ABUSE, so please be aware. It isn’t super detailed, but it is there.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

“JIMINIE!”

Jimin’s eyes darted across the large expanse of the airport, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, he spotted the familiar form of one Kim Taehyung maneuvering through the crowd, his backpack slung over his shoulder.

Taehyung ran towards him in the most dramatic fashion, long arms spread wide and big, stupid grin on his face.

Jimin couldn’t help the smile that crept up on his own lips when he saw the odd looks his best friend was receiving from others, though the younger was completely oblivious.

When Taehyung finally reached him, he pulled him into a tight, warm hug - the kind of hug that only Taehyung could give.

Jimin returned the embrace easily. “I missed you, TaeTae,” he murmured into the younger’s shoulder.

“Missed you too, Minnie,” Taehyung replied.

Taehyung had gone on a month-long trip with Seokjin, his boyfriend, and it was difficult for both Jimin and Taehyung to deal with. They had been best friends since they met in middle school and they hadn’t been apart from each other for such an extensive period of time before. The phonecalls they had were short and unsatisfying.

“You guys are so dramatic, it was one month,” Seokjin said as he walked up, a suitcase in each hand. He gave a fond eye roll at the two of them.

Jimin grinned, his eyes turning into slits, and he brought the older into a hug as well. “I missed you too, hyung.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jin replied, “Missed you too. Now let’s get home. I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed again.”

Taehyung hummed in agreement, “I love traveling, but there’s nothing like coming back home to your own comfy bed.”

The three of them made their way to the exit and walked through the parking lot until they got to Jimin’s car. Taehyung claimed the passenger seat and Seokjin was too whipped to say no to him.

The car ride was going to take about thirty minutes or so, and Taehyung happily filled the time with the recounting of his and Seokjin’s trip to Europe. Jin added comments every once in a while, mostly just watching his boyfriend fondly from the back seat.

“Enough about the trip,” Taehyung announced after twenty minutes. He glanced over at Jimin in the driver’s seat curiously, “How are you doing, Minnie?”

Though the words were common enough and to anyone else would seem lighthearted, they held a weight to them that everyone in the car could feel.

Jimin smiled small and replied honestly, “I’m good, Tae.”

Taehyung smiled back, “Good. And how are things with Namjoon?”

Taehyung and Seokjin had introduced the older’s long-time friend Namjoon to Jimin just a few months ago, and Jimin had warmed up to the handsome, adorably dimpled man almost immediately. Namjoon returned the feelings, and the two of them began dating only two months before Taehyung and Seokjin left for Europe.

Jimin was definitely blushing at the thought of his caring boyfriend, “Good. Great. He’s...he’s so nice. I’m not...used to it.”

Memories of bruises covering his skin and horrible words whispered in his ear flashed across his mind. He hated thinking about it, so he shook his head in an attempt to get rid of the awful recollection.

Taehyung put a hand on his best friend’s shoulder, his smile fond and a little sad now as he too remembered what Jimin had been through in the past. “I’m glad he’s nice to you. You deserve it.”

“Namjoonie-hyung takes good care of me when I’m little too.”

Jimin remembered the day he told Namjoon about being a little, and he remembered how accepting the older had been. The first time Jimin had slipped was a special day in the younger’s mind, as Namjoon had presented him with a bunch of presents - sippy cups, plushies, movies. The whole nine yards. Namjoon didn’t just tolerate Jimin’s little side, he embraced it with wide open arms.

Seokjin leaned in from the backseat and patted his shoulder, “We told you, huh? Remember, Tae and I told you that you would find someone who would love you and take care of you properly.”

They had, and they had been right.

“How are...how are the nightmares, Minnie?” Taehyung inquired softly.

The abuse Jimin’s ex-boyfriend put him through left scars - both physical and mental. Nightmares had been a regular occurrence for two years.

“I still get them, of course,” Jimin replied, “But hyung is always there and calms me down. They only happen a few times a month now.”

Taehyung let out a sigh of relief, “God, Jiminie, I can’t even tell you how happy I am to hear that. I know how awful your nightmares are.”

Jimin looked at him and smiled, “I’m getting better, Tae, I promise.”

Jimin knew that Taehyung worried about him a lot - they were best friends and either of them being hurt made the other spiral into a world of worry.

When Jimin dropped Seokjin and Taehyung off at their apartment building, his best friend pulled him in for another tight hug. “Can we hang out this week sometime? You can come over.”

Jimin nodded, “Friday. How about I come over about ten in the morning and we can have a movie marathon.”

Taehyung’s eyes lit up, “Yes! God, I missed our movie marathons.”

The two of them said their goodbyes, and after a briefer but just as loving goodbye from Seokjin, Jimin was on his way back to Namjoon’s apartment.

As he drove, he couldn’t help but think about everything that happened with his ex.

Wooseok had come into Jimin’s life his second year of college, and at first, he seemed to be everything Jimin was looking for in someone - kind, smart, loving. It was only after they’d officially started dating that things began going downhill. Jimin realized that the person he had thought he knew wasn’t quite so transparent.

It was small things at first, like Wooseok getting angry at Jimin unnecessarily and convincing him to spend most of his time with him and not his friends. During that time, Jimin slowly became more and more withdrawn from Taehyung and it was actually Taehyung that alerted him to something being wrong.

Jimin had defended his boyfriend at the time, saying that he wasn’t ever really hurt by anything that happened, and Wooseok always came back to apologize to him after.

And that was true, or, it was true until things became violent.

The first time Wooseok hit him, Jimin was in littlespace and had had an accident in his pants. He hadn’t meant to, obviously, but Wooseok was still furious. His hand had slapped Jimin across the face harshly and then he’d put him in timeout. Jimin had sat in his own urine-soaked pants for twenty minutes until Wooseok forced him to clean himself up.

Jimin hadn’t told Taehyung about that night, or about any of the similar incidents in the following months. He hid the bruises and the sadness that was overtaking him because Wooseok had convinced him that he deserved it.

Taehyung discovered the truth four months into Jimin’s relationship, when they had met up and he saw a bruise on Jimin’s wrist that he had failed to cover up properly. The younger had been horrified by what he saw and demanded with tears in his eyes that Jimin leave his boyfriend.

At that point, Jimin’s mind had been all over the place. He’d been confused and sad and he didn’t know who to believe anymore. Did he believe Wooseok and his insistence that Jimin deserved everything he got or did he believe his long-time best friend?

The choice had been obvious that night when Jimin returned from his coffee date with Taehyung. Wooseok had been waiting for him and he hadn’t been happy.

Jimin appeared at Taehyung and Seokjin’s apartment door a few hours later, struggling to hold four overpacked bags in his arms and tears drying on his cheeks. He sported a split lip and a blackening eye and Taehyung didn’t hesitate to usher his best friend inside.

Jimin would forever be thankful to his two closest friends who allowed him to stay in their home for almost a year while he attended therapy at Taehyung’s insistence. They also became his caregivers whenever he fell into littlespace, something that happened less and less the first few months following his abuse.

Things were better now, two years later. He had his own apartment, though most of the time he was at Namjoon’s. Jimin had a habit of falling too hard and too fast and moving in with his boyfriends after only a few weeks of dating, but with Namjoon he decided to take it slow.

“You look lost in your head, baby.”

Jimin blinked and realized that he was back at Namjoon’s apartment already. He’d been lost in his memories for the entire drive back here.

The older man was seated on the couch in the living room, his laptop set on the coffee table in front of him. He was wearing sweatpants and his stupid Harry Potter sweater, similar to Jimin’s own casual attire, though the younger wore a giant baby pink sweater instead.

“Sorry,” Jimin apologized, mostly out of habit, “Just thinking.”

Namjoon got up from the couch and walked over to him where he stood in the entryway. He helped Jimin out of his coat and hung it up for him in the closet. “How are Tae and Jin?”

“Good,” Jimin replied, glad for the subject change, “They were very excited to sleep in their own beds.”

Namjoon chuckled and ran a hand through his short blond hair, “Yep, that sounds like them.”

Jimin hummed and moved to wrap his arms around the older man’s neck. He tugged at the back of it gently until Namjoon got the idea and leaned down to press a loving kiss to his lips.

The older man’s big hands rested on Jimin’s hips, his thumbs slipping under the fabric of his t-shirt so he could rub soothing little circles into the skin there.

And Jimin, well, Jimin just melted. His body sagged against the other’s and he moaned softly into the kiss. Namjoon made him feel things that none of his past boyfriends had ever made him feel before. Good things. Like happy and safe and loved.

“Hm, Daddy.”

The words slipped out of his mouth and with a blink, Jimin realized that his little headspace had washed over him without him even noticing it.

Namjoon pulled back and smiled fondly at him, lifting one of his hands to stroke the younger’s cheek. “You slipped so fast, love.” Jimin’s heart sank to his stomach and his breath caught in his throat, but the older reassured him quickly, “Hey, I didn’t mean it like that. You know I love you, baby. Big or little.”

Jimin sighed out in relief and nodded, “Sorry, Daddy. Minnie got scared.”

“That’s okay too, baby. Just know that I’ll always be here to help you calm down, yeah?”

Jimin nodded again, getting up on his tiptoes to kiss his boyfriend on the mouth one more time, chaste and sweet. “Thank you, Daddy.”

“Should we go watch some cartoons or something, love?”

Jimin squealed excitedly and jumped up and down, “Yes! Yes, please!”

Namjoon failed to fight down his smile, “Okay, why don’t you go get your blanket and Mr. Muffin and meet me in the living room. I’ll bring some snacks.”

“Okay!”

Jimin hurried to Namjoon’s room (it was basically both of their’s at this point, but Jimin still didn’t technically live with him yet) and gathered up his favorite Disney Princesses blanket and his puffin plushie named Mr. Muffin.

When he returned to the living room, he saw Namjoon slipping a disc into the DVD player. The beginning of Lilo & Stitch started playing and Jimin hurried to the couch, nearly tripping over his feet as he did so.

“Careful, baby,” Namjoon said, gently admonishing. “Don’t want you to get hurt.”

The older held out Jimin’s neon green pacifier which the little took gratefully. Namjoon disappeared into the kitchen while the opening song played out, returning a minute later with a plate in hand.

Jimin curled into Namjoon’s side when he sat down beside him, suckling away happily on the teat of the soother and clutching Mr. Muffin the puffin in his arms.

Namjoon grabbed his blanket and draped it over the two of them. It wasn’t big enough to cover both of them completely so one of the older’s legs was out in the open, but he didn’t mind. As long as his baby Jimin was warm and happy, that was all that mattered.

Namjoon moved to balance a plate of chocolate chip cookies on his leg and Jimin almost immediately spat his pacifier out to the side when he spotted them. “OOH! Gimme! Gimme! Jiminie wants cookies!”

The older made a sound of disapproval and held the little’s curious hands away from the cookies, “Hey, that’s not how we ask for something.”

Jimin blinked in thought for a moment before his eyes lit up once more, “Oh, sorry Daddy! C-Can Jiminie has cookie, please?”

Namjoon giggled - yes, full-on giggled - at how adorable the younger really was. It was almost too much cuteness for his heart to take.

They watched the movie comfortably - well, Jimin did, Namjoon's eyes were more focused on watching Jimin than the television. Sue him, the little was beyond adorable.

Jimin, on the other hand, was completely immersed in the story playing out, laughing along and even tearing up at some of the more emotional parts. He was munching on the two chocolate chip cookies Namjoon had allowed him, taking small bites and savoring the yummy flavor.

Occasionally, Namjoon would use a napkin to clean up the stray bits of cookie sticking around the little’s mouth. Jimin would scrunch his nose and giggle cutely.

Eventually, Jimin found his way into his Daddy’s lap and curled up happily into his chest, pacifier back between his lips. He tugged his princess blanket closer to himself and fell asleep, feeling happy and safe as the movie played on in the background.

-------------------------------------------------------

Although Jimin was getting better, that didn’t mean he was completely fine. In all honesty, he wasn’t sure if he could ever be completely fine, whatever that may be. There were too many scars in his heart and on his body to remind him of the sick things Wooseok had done to him.

There was a bumpy, discolored scar about an inch long on his bicep, where Wooseok had scratched him while hitting him. He had many other scars that linked to corresponding memories in his mind.

Then, there were the nightmares. Jimin hated them more than anything else because it made him scared to sleep sometimes.

Tonight, the nightmare started with Jimin hearing whispers in his ear, dark and raspy. The voice told him awful things and sent a chill of fear down his spine.

Then, it suddenly felt like there were big, rough hands slithering around his neck, tightening like a boa constrictor until Jimin was sure that he couldn’t breathe. His mouth hung open uselessly and his eyes nearly bulged out of his head - or at least, he thought they were.

He could almost hear Wooseok’s maniacal laugh ringing harshly in his ears as he slowly began to fade away...

“Jiminie, baby, wake up!”

Jimin gasped as his eyes blew wide open for real. He choked on air and began flailing his limbs around in confusion. Two hands grabbed his own and he let out a scream. Jimin flinched away harshly but the hands stayed put.

“Baby, Jimin, it’s me, lovely. It’s Namjoon,” a familiar, deep voice said, breaking into his panicking mind. “You were having a nightmare, baby.”

A Nightmare. Of course.

Jimin wasn’t with Wooseok anymore, he was with his Namjoon-hyung, who he knew would never hurt him. He was in Namjoon’s bedroom, on Namjoon’s bed, not in that other bed that reeked of cigarette smoke and cheap cologne.

“D-Da - hyung,” the younger choked out through his still tight-feeling throat.

Noticing that Jimin was more coherent now, Namjoon released his gentle grip on the other’s hands. He let his big hands trail up the younger’s arms and settled themselves comfortingly on his shoulders.

Jimin blinked away the last of the haziness from his nightmare and locked eyes with his hyung, who looked back at him with all the love and care in the world.

“I know you’re scared, love,” Namjoon said in his deep, soothing voice, “But I’m here to keep you safe, yeah? He’s not here and he isn’t going to come near you ever again.”

Coming down from the terror of his nightmares became easier each time he had one, so once he was fully awake and had Namjoon promising him safety, his erratic heartbeat had calmed down.

“I love you, hyung,” Jimin blurted.

There was a pause where the younger observed his hyung’s eyebrows raise in surprise. “Well, I love you too, Minnie, you know I do.”

“You’ve put up with me and my nightmares, and how I sometimes flinch when you reach for me. Things like that. Thank you for giving me a chance anyway,” Jimin said weakly.

Namjoon blinked and then his brown eyes visibly softened. “Baby,” he almost cooed the pet name, “Everyone has some kind of baggage that they bring with them into a new relationship. I don’t mind helping you through all of this. I want to help you through all of this. You didn’t deserve any of what he did to you. I love you and I want you to be happy and safe.”

Jimin’s lower lip was trembling with his oncoming tears - though they were of the happy, overwhelmed kind. He just felt so touched, so loved, it was hard to keep it inside of himself.

“D-Daddy!” he surged forward into Namjoon’s arms, making the older go only slightly off balance. Jimin grabbed his hyung’s face between his small hands and pressed a kiss to Namjoon’s lips. It was chaste, and Jimin tried his best to pour all of the good emotions he was feeling into it so his hyung could feel them too.

Namjoon responded easily, his arms curling around the younger’s waist and pulling him fully into his lap. They both tasted like morning breath and the remnants of mint toothpaste, and it was perfect.

The older tilted his head to the side and leaned in further so he could deepen the kiss. His tongue parted Jimin’s plush lips gently, and his tongue explored the younger’s mouth like he didn’t already know every inch of it.

Jimin always thought from the first time he’d kissed Namjoon, that the older man had a certain way with kissing. He wasn’t aggressive or sloppy in any way, and he tended to be unhurried yet calculated in his movements. He knew just what to do with his tongue to unravel Jimin in a matter of minutes. It was honestly impressive.

So, it wasn’t much of a surprise when Jimin felt the last of the leftover tension in his shoulders from his nightmare slowly evaporate like it hadn’t even been there in the first place.

“D-Daddy, love you,” Jimin mumbled when his hyung moved to suck a gentle love bite into the junction between his throat and neck. A familiar ticklish tugging in his gut caused him to squirm around. “Want...want...”

God damn Kim Namjoon and his ability to render him speechless.

The older pulled back to look at him with a knowing smile, “Want what, baby?”

Jimin whined annoyedly and pouted.

“Hey, don’t be like that,” Namjoon said, “You know I need words, love. I won’t tease anymore, just tell me what you want.”

Jimin licked his lips and blinked his heavy eyes as tried to wrangle in his scrambled thoughts. “W-Want...want Daddy inside...please.”

Namjoon hummed, “What part of Daddy do you want inside, baby?”

The little whimpered and turned beet red, bringing his hands up to cover his face in embarrassment, “Daddy!”

The older gently removed Jimin’s hands so he could see his baby’s pretty face. “Tell me, baby.”

Jimin bit his lip as his cheeks flushed an even darker red, “C-Cock. Minnie want Daddy’s cock inside him.”

Namjoon couldn’t help the groan the rumbled from his chest at the dirty words. “Okay, love, Daddy will give you his cock.”

After reluctantly separating themselves, Namjoon began removing his t-shirt and boxers he’d worn to bed. Jimin had once told him that it made him feel infinitely more comfortable when he took off his clothes first, and so Namjoon had done that ever since.

Jimin admired the older’s tall, lean body, He wasn’t full of muscles like some people but Namjoon certainly kept in shape. He had lightly defined biceps and a deep v-line between his hips that made the younger’s mouth water.

One of Jimin’s favorite things about Namjoon’s body was his pecks. They were a little more plump than average, and his dusty pink nipples were ridiculously sensitive.

As Namjoon gently helped Jimin out of his own clothing and laid him down on the bed, crawling over him, the younger brushed the pad of his thumb over his hyung’s left nipple a few times. The action made the older moan out in pleasure, his eyes darkening with each touch.

Jimin wasn’t all that embarrassed to be exposed like this anymore, he trusted Namjoon so much.

Namjoon held himself above the little and pressed a quick but breathtaking kiss to his lips. “Minnie, baby, you ready? Gonna let me take care of you?”

Jimin nodded frantically and wrapped his legs around the older’s hips to pull them flush against each other. He could feel Namjoon’s hard length pressing between his ass cheeks and he felt himself becoming even more desperate.

After using the bottle of lube from the bedside drawer to slick up his long fingers, Namjoon teased them around the younger’s rim.

Jimin keened at the feel of one of those glorious fingers entering him, his walls clenching down around the intrusion. His own hands were gripping at Namjoon’s shoulders and his dirty blond hair.

The second finger entered with a bit more of a stretch but Jimin was used to Namjoon’s rather large-sized cock so it wasn’t too bad. The third finger burned and made sweat start to gather on Jimin’s forehead.

Namjoon curled the fingers, skillfully avoiding the younger’s prostate. A good move, considering that just a slight touch to the bundle of nerves was sometimes enough to make him cum.

“Ready for my cock now, love?”

“Yes! Yes, please,” Jimin pleaded.

Namjoon removed his fingers slowly and used the excess lube on them to coat his hard dick. Once he was thoroughly slicked up, Namjoon teased himself by giving himself a few generous tugs and digging a finger harshly into the slit.

Once he was ready, Namjoon repositioned himself between Jimin’s legs so his cock lined up with the younger’s entrance. With one hand on Jimin’s asscheek and the other spreading one of the younger’s legs to at just the right angle, Namjoon slid easily into Jimin’s tight hole. He buried himself all the way to the hilt and then held still, allowing the panting man beneath him to adjust to his size.

“Doing so well, baby,” he murmured as he pressed gentle kisses all over Jimin’s face, “Taking me so well.”

Jimin laid back against the pillows, blissed out at the feeling of being stuffed full. It was something he was hesitant to admit, but he sometimes felt that feeling so deliciously full like this made him the happiest. It was so dirty, and so hot.

His eyes were half-opened and looking up at his hyung trustfully. He nodded, indicating that he was ready for him to move.

Namjoon began a generous pace, pulling his dick out until only the tip was inside, and then slamming all the way back inside the younger’s ass. It took a few tries to hit Jimin’s prostate, but once he got it, they both knew Jimin wasn’t going to last too much longer.

“Mm, Daddy.”

Namjoon bit his lip as he continued the skillful movement of his hips, “Feel so good, Minnie. God.”

Jimin screamed out loud when his hyung pressed into his sensitive bundle of nerves in a harsh movement. His hands tightened on the other’s shoulders, leaving little indents from his fingernails. He then moved them up to clutch at the dirty blond hair.

The younger lifted his hips to meet his hyung’s thrusts, forcing him to press into his prostate even more roughly. “Ngh, Daddy!” the younger moaned.

Namjoon leaned down to kiss him lovingly, his hips never halting their bucking motion. The pace continued on for a few minutes as both of them quickly approached their orgasms.

Jimin was scratching his blunt fingernails over his hyung’s back, certainly leaving trails of red in their wake that would still be there the next day.

Namjoon didn’t mind though, in fact, he reveled in the slight sting of pain, groaning in pleasure. He wanted so badly to keep himself under control, to show Jimin just what he meant to him with his actions, but he was rapidly reaching his peak.

Luckily, Jimin was already there. “C-Close, Daddy,” he panted out.

Namjoon nuzzled his head into the younger’s neck and hummed his approval as his own pace began to stutter.

It only took a few more thrusts and skillful presses into his prostate to bring the younger over the edge. Jimin came with a strangled kind of cry, tears spilling over the edges of his eyes at the pure feeling of bliss that washed over him.

His body went lax and he let out a whimper when he felt his insides becoming coated in Namjoon’s own release. Jimin’s hands automatically clutched tighter at his hyung’s shoulders, like he was going to run away from him.

But Namjoon wasn’t Wooseok. He wasn’t the self-centered asshole that took what he wanted and left right after.

Namjoon shushed the younger’s protesting whine when he began pulling out slowly. “I’m right here, baby. I’m not going anywhere,” he reassured in a whisper.

The older man grabbed Jimin’s hand in his own so that they had a constant connection even when he reached over and grabbed some wipes and a towel from the bedside drawer to clean the two of them up with.

Jimin felt pampered and loved and sometimes the past abuse he had gone through made these good feelings all the more overwhelming.

Namjoon understood that easily. He just wiped the younger’s tears and kissed his cheeks sweetly after he disposed of the wipes.

“Love you, my baby,” Namjoon whispered as climbed back in the bed beside the younger. He curled his long arms around Jimin, pulling him into a warm, comforting embrace.

The younger smiled tiredly and cuddled into his hyung’s chest, “Love you too, Daddy. So much.”

Jimin thought to himself how happy he was, how two years ago, when he was still with Wooseok, he thought the abuse was the best he would get. Thought it was what he deserved.

He was so thankful that Taehyung and Jin were there to help him get out of that awful situation, and he was thankful that he was able to find someone as amazing as Namjoon. Through the power of love, he was healing and would continue to heal.

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A/N: So this was a little more angsty than I normally write. I feel like there wasn’t a whole lot of littlespace in this, but whatever. I also wasn’t too happy with the smut part but yeah.

Let me know what you think and leave a BTS littlespace request if you would like :)