From a narrative perspective I really prefer to believe that everything Deacon tells you in his final affinity talk is true, because 1. Even though he cares about the rest of the Railroad, it’s clear you’re the only person he’s gotten close to in a long time, and 2. It’s as real as he ever gets with you in-game, showing an unprecedented amount of trust (and causing you to question just how much of an act he’s putting on before and henceforth). But I’m newly charmed by the idea that every part of his story was true… except his wife just isn’t dead.
Yeah she’s totally fine. They found out she was a synth 20-something years ago, and it was pretty traumatic but they’re all good now. He took out the UP Deathclaws, not out of vengeance, but just because they were too much of a threat to leave alone. The Railroad got the wrong idea and Deacon just went with it. Even if someone’s trustworthy, the Institute has ways of getting information from people, so it’s just better to act like she doesn’t exist, y’know? They miss each other, but she knows his work is important, she runs a small farm or business and financially supports him.
Deacon does make a comment about having people to protect after you use his “recall code.” And I think it puts a funny spin on why he’s not romanceable — he’s just Actively In Holy Matrimony.
Maybe just south of the Commonwealth, there’s a nice farmgirl with suspiciously lasting youth, whose neighbors gossip about how often she swaps out her lovers (who, come to think of it, all share the same height, build, and penchant for shades…). And I don’t know her name, but I can tell you it probably isn’t Barbara.