#abusive sleepceit

[vexation-virgil]

Breathe

Summary:  Roman Prince and Patton Hart are high school sweethearts with a never ending pool of love for each other (and, of course, Patton’s chickens). College is different and new and exciting. But it brings about the feelings that there is something not quite right - their love is vast and there is so much to give and they decide that they simply want their relationship to grow. Easier said than done. Enter, Logan Patrick. An intelligent and attractive boy in one of Patton’s courses that is not eager to make friends with Patton let alone build a relationship with two of them. It takes time and patience and understanding, but the three find happiness together and are ready to face whatever challenges may come their way. Which may just include the cute best friend of Patton’s younger brother, Thomas. Virgil Casey, though, had not had an easy life. But starting a new life in New York has started to look better as the three attempt to woo the anxious emo. That is until Remy Dormir, the third member of Thomas and Virgil’s friend group, gets a new boyfriend. One that Virgil is all too familiar with. TW: aphobia, homophobia, bullying, miscommunication, cheating, self-deprecation, anxiety/panic attacks, self-harm, unhealthy coping mechanisms, unhealthy ideas of relationships, unhealthy/abusive relationships, stalking, assault, kidnapping, death threats, child abuse mentions, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, underage mentions, noncon, unsympathetic/abusive Deceit (Ethan) Relationships: LAMP, Abusive Anxceit, Abusive Sleepceit, Implied Remy/Thomas/Emile  WC: 27273 A/N: HAHA I did it! I really did it, just in time, thank goodness. This was a beast and it’s a beast I am so proud of. My big bang fic, Breathe ( @ts-storytime ). I’d like to thank @lesliealiceinwonderland for being a wonderful beta over the last couple months and really helping me chug, chug, chug along. And my family over on discord for dealing with me the last couple months. I got paired with the wonderful @nottodaylogic as an artist for this and you can check out their art HERE. So, thank you all so much for being amazing through this whole process and without further ado, Breathe. 

(Wanna read it on AO3 instead? Check it here.)

 It started with Roman and Patton.

The theater program in their high school was small, but Roman Prince was determined to make it big. Always cast as the lead, making everything a show, constantly over the top. The bigger a scene he made, the better he felt. 

Patton Hart was not nearly as loud, but everyone knew him anyway. The sweetest person around, friends with anyone who would let him stick around for even a moment. Funny and kind and soft. Patton always felt best when everyone around him was happy.

They met when the theater director put out a call for live chickens. Yes, actual, real life chickens, to be carried around on stage by Roman for one scene. Just one. One and they still needed to be living, breathing, clucking chickens. Roman was, decidedly, not happy when this news came to light. He was extremely happy, however, when a bright, bubbly boy came onto the stage with him to introduce him to the pair of chickens. 

Roman would never forget the big smile on Patton’s face when he had chuckled over the names of the chickens - a giant spotted bird with huge flapping wings named Chicken Little and a smaller, almost solid brown chicken named Drumstick. 

(”You named your chicken… Drumstick?”

“Oh, yeah, my little brother thought it would be funny to name her after something we eat. He tried to get me to name her Breast, which was when I realized that maybe letting the thirteen-year-old name her wouldn’t be a good idea.”

Roman chuckled at that, tilting his head to the side. “Then why not Wing or Thigh?”

“Drumstick was the funniest!”)

Patton spent a lot of time teaching Roman how to properly hold the chickens but even more time trying to keep Roman from panicking anytime one of the chickens made any sort of movement. Eventually, it got to the point where their time before rehearsal just wasn’t enough and Patton started inviting Roman to his house after rehearsals. 

After the first time they had hung out alone at Patton’s house to work on the chicken handling, Roman had well and truly fallen in love. All it took was watching Patton walk around the little farm to take care of the different animals. A horse named Whinny, a cow name Rocky Road (”Get it? ‘Cause cows make ice cream?” Roman hadn’t tried to correct him), a pig named Bacon, and all the different, punny named chickens. He seemed at home and comfortable there, like nothing mattered in the world except what was going on in that moment with the animals. And he’d allowed Roman into his world with a pull of his hand and a soft, sweet smile as he told him what to do to get along with all the animals. Roman had barely been able to focus on anything that was happening outside of the gentle way Patton explained things to him.

These private moments were some of Roman’s favorites during the production, and he loathed to see them end. It wasn’t hard to convince Patton to keep allowing him to come over after the curtains closed. Roman had grown attached, in one way or another, to all the different animals. And to the way Patton always seemed so at ease there. 

Roman not only loved his time with Patton, but Patton’s family as well. His mother, Eleanor, who always pinched his cheeks and told him she was going to fatten him up and his brother, Thomas, who, despite being a teenager that could really get on Roman’s nerves sometimes, loved listening to Roman tell stories or talk about theater.

Patton was a huge fan of how well Roman seemed to fit into his bubble. His small world of three had grown to a slightly bigger world of four before he even realized what was happening. One day, it was Roman coming over to learn how to deal with Drumstick and the next it was Roman coming over because it had been forever - see, two whole days - since he’d been over and Patton missed him, despite seeing him in the halls and sitting with him at lunch. 

It was Patton that made the first move, something that still surprises them to this day. Roman had a plan for asking him out, for their first date, their first kiss. But, as always, Patton had other plans. Which is to say, he had no plan. 

It had been a completely normal day, nothing even slightly out of the ordinary happening, when Patton kissed Roman the first time. Roman had been singing a quiet melody while they worked on homework together, books and paper strewn across the beds and assignments blending together. 

Patton wasn’t focused on the assignment in his lap, instead watching the way Roman seemed to lose himself in the song even as he doodled on his science homework. His dark hair swooped over his half closed eyes and his cheeks were flushed a light pink. Roman really was beautiful. 

He’d cut Roman off by pressing his lips against Roman’s. The other had seemed surprised for all of a second before he’d melted into the kiss. Roman knew it was cliché and silly, but that kiss felt like fireworks. It felt like everything falling into just the right place at just the right time. It felt perfect in a way neither of them could have predicted. 

(”You just—“

“Yeah.”

“That was… Wow.”

“Wow.”)

The moment was ruined by Roman’s phone ringing next to him and forcing his attention away. It was ruined even further by the scolding Roman got upon answering the call about missing family dinner with his parents that night, despite being completely unaware they were even home. He spent a few minutes apologizing and promising to be home soon and saying they could have dinner together the next day before he was able to turn his attention back to Patton.

Roman had pushed on a big smile and invited Patton to meet his parents. They had spent months hanging out at Patton’s with his family, it was only fair that Patton finally got to meet his. Patton laughed and kissed his nose, agreeing in an instant before he sent Roman on his way home.

Richard and Jane Prince were not happy about the addition to their family dinner. Or the fact that their son was claiming to have a boyfriend. Their perfect child couldn’t do something like that, couldn’t possibly think acting out like that was an okay thing for him to do. They didn’t dare say that in front of their son’s friend but that didn’t keep Roman from noticing the little ways they attempted to knock Patton down or the ways they continuously ignored the fact that Patton was Roman’s boyfriend.

(”So, Patton, are there any girls you’ve got your eye on?”

“Oh, Patton, you probably don’t need an extra serving of potatoes, do you? Would you like a salad?

“Roman, darling, you should take Patton here to the gym with you!”

“When are you going to bring a sweet girl home, Roman?”)

The entire night felt like a nightmare, like something Roman needed to wake up from and not something he actually had to live through. Patton had kept a tight smile on and an even tighter grip on Roman’s hand the whole evening, barely managing to kiss Roman’s cheek goodbye. Even after Patton had left, the terror didn’t end. Roman had earned himself a lecture on just how inappropriate it was to behave like that after not having seen his parents for months. He had no reason to act out, he had everything he could ever want. It had taken all of Roman’s strength not to scream back at them. He’d gone to his room and stayed there trying to convince himself that everything was fine as he made sure Patton was okay.

It was clear everything wasn’t fine, though, when Roman showed up at Patton’s door step in the middle of the night in tears. Eleanor brought him inside without asking questions, she just listened as Roman explained through his sobbing that all he wanted was acceptance, the bare minimum, and his parents wouldn’t even give him that. Eventually, Roman had fallen asleep on the couch with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and Eleanor offering quiet comfort to him.

Roman pretty much didn’t leave after that. The Hart family welcomed him with open arms and constant reminders that Roman was always welcome there, no exceptions, even when Roman tried to argue and tell them they didn’t have to keep him around. 

(“We know, darling. But we want you here. You’re Patton’s boyfriend and Thomas loves you. You were practically here all the time anyway, the only difference is now the guest bedroom is your bedroom.”

“But--”

“No buts. Go help Patton set the table.”)

The only time Roman ever went back to his house was when he knew his parents were home, when he knew they’d want to have ‘family time’. It wasn’t often, just once every couple months over the course of their senior year, but it left Roman drained every time as his parents continued to push what they wanted onto him. When he got back, Patton was always waiting at the door with hot chocolate and Disney movies and more hugs than Roman could ever possibly handle. Roman really loved him. He really, really did.

Despite how close they were in the beginning stages of their relationship, Roman and Patton’s relationship only grew closer and stronger while their peers’ relationships crumbled within weeks or months. Classmates would sweetly refer to them as ‘relationship goals’ which always earned a cheerful “we don’t even play soccer!” from Patton and a fond eye roll from Roman. They were voted best couple during senior awards and Roman’s prom queen gave up her crown to allow the two prom kings to dance together.

High school ending and college beginning was a bittersweet time. They moved to New York together at eighteen and shared an apartment - financed by Roman’s too full college fund and generous weekly allowance - while attending courses at NYU. It was far from home, far from the Hart family, but it was a new and grand adventure they were excited to pursue. 

Thomas and Eleanor visited during the holidays, insisting it was more fun to visit them than it was to have them come home. Thomas came out to them the Christmas after he turned fifteen. Eleanor brought Roman flowers after seeing him in his first college show, despite the small role, the year he turned nineteen.

They had well and truly settled in by the time they were twenty, true New Yorkers and a sickeningly sweet domestic couple. 

Roman had been the one to bring up the idea that it felt like something else could fit into their relationship. They’d talked about what it could be endlessly.

(”It’s been four years, do you think we should get married?”

“Is it fostering? Should we try that?”

“Maybe we should try some new kind of date night. It’s been so long since we gardened, maybe we could find an urban garden to do something with?”)

After having discussion after discussion, Patton suggested they try dating someone new. Not separately, but together. Patton had called it a ‘throuple’ with a little laugh before he talked a little more seriously about the idea of polyamory and asking if that was something Roman even wanted. Roman had agreed, said it sounded right and comfortable when thinking about attraction and himself. He still loved Patton dearly but he felt there was enough love to give to another person, maybe more if Patton was comfortable with it. Patton had kissed him and told him they could start thinking about it.

Days, weeks, months went by without finding anything or, really, anyone that felt right. Patton had felt discouraged and unsure and Roman had been right there with him.

And then, Patton met Logan Patrick.

--

They met while taking a human development course in their second year of college. Patton had sat down next to him on the first day of class with a cheery smile and pointed out that they had the same glasses. 

It had earned a less than enthusiastic response but that didn’t deter Patton, who was determined to make a friend in every course. He’d done it through his first year, he was going to do it now. Even if it took the whole semester to bond with this one specific classmate. Luckily, it didn’t take that long when, after receiving a barely passing grade on the first test, Logan had offered to help Patton study. Simply to assist in improving his grade, of course. 

Logan was a very good study partner, always managing to keep Patton on task even as his mind wandered. He somehow managed to make connections between where Patton’s mind was going and the text, keeping them on topic and helping Patton learn all at once. 

(”Suzy, one of the babies I work with, she always cries and cries when her mommy drops her off until I can get a chance to pick her up and—“

“And that is what Freud describes as the id. The child - Suzy - has a desire to be held and while she is not being held she is experiencing displeasure, so her cries are her attempt to gain satisfaction.”)

Patton realized he had feelings for Logan during midterms. It had felt like weeks since he had been able to spend any sort of alone time with Roman where they weren’t studying or sleeping. In contrast, he and Logan had been together almost constantly to study for their shared class. The two of them had been in the library, taking a short break from going over vocabulary they needed to remember for their test, when Logan had looked out on the campus and told Patton he missed being able to see the stars. 

Logan had looked so sad, so exhausted, and Patton had wanted to help. He had asked about the stars and Logan lit up, immediately going off about his favorite constellations, their placement in the sky, and the stories behind them. He went so far as to pull up pictures on his phone when it seemed like Patton couldn’t quite picture what he was saying. 

They had abandoned their studying for a full hour as Logan talked and Patton hung onto every passion filled word he said. He’d seen the similarities between him and Roman and just… Fell. Fell for another one of the brightest stars in the sky.

There was some guilt there, though. Guilt over the fact that maybe he only felt this way since Patton hadn’t been able to see Roman or spend time with him. Guilt over the fact it felt like he was trying to replace Roman when he absolutely wasn’t trying to do that. He still loved Roman with his everything, he always would, but, still, the thought ate away at him every time he looked at Logan and felt the butterflies in his stomach. 

The first opportunity he had, he talked to Roman about it. Roman who gushed with him and promised him he didn’t have to feel bad and told him he must, must, must see a picture of this stranger who had caught the eye of his beloved.

(”Show me! Show me the stranger who is threatening to steal away my love!”

Patton chuckled, shaking his head nervously as the guilt in his stomach reared its ugly head again. “He’s not going to steal me, Ro, he doesn’t even know I like him.”

“That is besides the point, darling. I want to see a picture of this man who has captured your attention.”)

Patton hadn’t been able to provide a picture - Logan was not a fan of having his picture taken and hid behind something every time Patton had tried, resulting in some blurry photos - but a promise was made to have Logan over for dinner one night. Roman had seemed pleased with that answer and had kissed Patton’s temple before going to make them popcorn for their last minute movie night date. 

Logan and Roman met the day before Columbus Day, not long after Patton made his promise. They had no morning classes on that next day - Roman’s were cancelled, Logan never had any, and Patton was fine skipping his math class just this once. It gave them the ability to stay up and talk late into the night if they wanted to.

Dinner went well, as far as Patton was concerned. Roman had loved Logan the moment he saw him. He had already heard Patton talk about this friend-turned-crush of his and to put such an adorable face to someone the first love of his life liked was just the icing on the cake. And they got along! Where Roman could rant and rave about musicals, Logan could fill in with fun facts about a line or the way the scene was first presented. Where Logan could name the constellations, Roman could dramatically tell the stories of where the names came from. It may have been information they both already knew, but that didn’t make the conversation less entertaining for any of them.

Patton had left for all of three minutes to grab dessert after it seemed like Logan was going to stick around for a while when everything went south. It was the door slamming that got him to abandon his attempt at opening a wine bottle with a broken opener and go running back into the living room. Roman was standing, staring at the door, looking utterly confused and somewhat hurt.

(”What happened?”

“I tried a pick up line? He got… Very upset with me. I don’t think I have ever heard anything scarier than the way he just scolded me before he just… Left.”

“What did he say?”

“He thought I was trying to cheat on you! I was going to explain but he didn’t give me a chance to say anything before he stormed out!”)

A misunderstanding. A miscommunication on Patton’s part. He probably should have explained that they were polyamorous and open to finding a new partner, or partners, but he couldn’t think of a way to casually bring it up to Logan without revealing his crush at the same time. Of course, the one time Patton didn’t want to overshare and actively avoided doing so had led to disaster with just a single pick up line. 

Logan had felt terrible and avoided Patton for days following what he had initially labeled ‘the incident’. He had even skipped class, something he was normally unwilling to do even when he was sick. He was unsure how to tell his only friend that it seemed as if his partner was attempting to ‘make a pass’ at him. 

When he had finally summoned the courage to talk to Patton about it, Patton had felt so embarrassed as he mumbled the truth so quietly that Logan wasn’t able to hear him the first three times he said it. Apparently, Patton and Roman being poly and Patton having a crush on him had been an unexpected answer for Logan, as he had stared at Patton for a solid minute without saying a word before he turned and left. 

Patton had cried right there in the library as soon as Logan had left his sight. 

All hope had not been lost, though, seeing as Logan still sat with him in class, still studied with him when he was struggling as they got closer and closer to finals. He had even agreed to tutor Roman when his role in the winter show was threatened by a near failing grade in his math class - on the one condition that Roman was absolutely not allowed to flirt with him. 

But Logan no longer talked about the stars in length, there wasn’t a spark in his eye as he explained something Patton could tell he knew a lot about, their interactions were less friendly and more like those that they had with the rest of their peers. Patton felt horrible knowing that he might have completely ruined their friendship.

Logan had decided the best way to deal with these feelings his friend had for him was to keep him and his partner at a safe distance. 

He wasn’t completely willing to give Patton up - he was the first person outside of his own family to truly show him any sort of kindness since high school. He was too cold, too uptight, too tense, too cruel for simply not understanding what the people around him were feeling at any given moment.

But Logan had also been aware of what Patton and Roman must have wanted from him. A couple looking to add a third member - especially a couple that had been together as long as he knew they had been - was most likely only looking for a change in their sex life. He didn’t have a problem with them doing that, he respected their decision as a couple to do that, but that was not something he was able or willing to provide for them.

Logan had realized at a young age that sex was not something that held any interest to him. He decided for sure after a less than enjoyable attempt with his first boyfriend when he was sixteen. It wasn’t the worst thing he had ever experienced, it wasn’t near as bad as when he broke his arm as a child after falling from a tree while trying to identify a bird, but it was not something he had wanted to do again. He didn’t understand what his partner had found so appealing about it and had told him as much the day following. His partner had not taken kindly to Logan’s decision to not have that sort of relationship with him. 

It was hard to forget the explosive breakup and vicious promise that Logan was destined to spend his life alone if he kept on about that. The same sentiment was shared by almost everyone he interacted with after they broke up. Word spread quickly and teenagers are relentlessly cruel to anyone who does not fit in, and Logan had not by any means.

He had grown to accept what his peers had displayed as a fact to him over the course of the previous three years. Logan was “broken” and, therefore, destined to be alone. To him, that meant less time spent trying to understand the emotions of the people around him. He didn’t need those sorts of close relationships, anyway, and he was happy to keep everyone at arm’s length. 

It hadn’t seemed like Patton was content with that, though, and that had frustrated Logan to no end at times. He had tried to open up and that had led Patton and his partner to decide he was what they needed to make their private lives a little more interesting and Logan did not want to do that. Patton had taken to asking questions about Logan’s past, wanting to know about his childhood and his friends and the things he did outside of class and studying. Logan had kept his answers minimal, sure that when the semester ended and they were no longer required to interact, Patton’s pursuit would end.

That was not what happened. If anything, it had seemed as if his friend was trying even harder to spend time with Logan. Asking him over for dinner again, inviting him to study “parties”, begging him to go see Roman perform so that Patton didn’t have to sit alone. If Logan hadn’t started to feel something he couldn’t quite name towards his friends, it might have been easier to tell them no. 

Logan had learned to quite enjoy his time with the couple during that second semester. Roman, despite being loud and argumentative at times, was actually quite sweet and much smarter than he let on. Logan was able to hold many conversations with Roman on many different subjects into the early hours of the morning as Patton laid across their laps and snored softly. And Logan did actually enjoy his dramatics from time to time, when it was appropriate. Or when it made Patton laugh.

Logan had wished he would be able to make Patton laugh as much as Roman did, but cherished every time he did. His laugh always made Logan’s chest tighten a bit with something that could only be described as longing for something he couldn’t have. The first time he had made Patton laugh had been when he had unintentionally made a pun, and the soft giggles it had earned him rang in Logan’s head for days afterward.

It finally all got to be too much - the feelings, the longing, the fact he couldn't be what they wanted - before spring break. Patton had been loosening Logan’s tie, telling him to relax while he made dinner before they started studying for midterms, and that smile and Roman’s teasing from the other side of the room had made him finally snap.

(”Yeah, stop acting like you’re going to Sunday mass every time you’re here, Lo, loosen up a bit,” Roman said, tapping his pencil on a textbook behind him.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough! You both need to stop. Immediately,” Logan bit out, voice sharp even as he gently swatted Patton’s hands away from the knot of his tie. “I am aware that the pair of you would like to make your relationship more interesting, that maybe it has grown plain, but I am not going to be a part of your… Relationship in that way. And if you want to continue a friendship of any sorts, then both of you need to cease any attempt to get that from me. I am not interested in sex. With anyone. Ever.”

Patton blinked up at him, a small frown on his face as he took in everything Logan said. “Aw, Lo, we wouldn’t try and get you to do anything like that if you didn’t want to. We’re not going to try and change your sexuality, it’s okay.”

“My what?”)

The three of them had abandoned their studies in favor of having a serious discussion instead. Patton worked on comforting Logan and reassuring him that they had never thought of doing something like just adding someone to their relationship solely for sex, while Roman found terms and labels that helped to describe what Logan might feel instead.

When Roman had read out the definition of asexual and then furthered the explanation of it as lack of sexual attraction or low or absent desire for sexual activity, Logan had actually cried from relief. That was him. That was how he felt. It didn’t stop as Roman had continued to discuss that sexual attraction and romantic attraction weren’t the same thing, that they weren’t tied into each other and that even if he didn’t feel any sexual attraction, he could still feel romantic attraction. If anything, it had made Logan cry more because maybe he wasn’t actually broken.

In his flurry of feeling more than he’d allowed himself to in years, Logan kissed Roman. It was the first thing that came into his head, the first thing that seemed like an adequate enough thank you for the elation Logan had been feeling in that moment. The kiss hadn’t lasted long, Logan had pulled back the moment he realized what he had done, but the second kiss of the night with Patton had lasted much longer. 

Logan hadn’t realized just how much he’d denied himself by ignoring any sort of romantic feelings he had for Patton and Roman, but the other two seemed determined to show him that night, reassuring him that they were happy with whatever he was willing to give.

During the first year of their relationship, though, Logan still kept them at what he considered a safe distance for what they had. A relationship. He spent more time with them, he allowed them to be close, he kissed them when he felt like a moment required it. But he never came over uninvited, he tried not to initiate more intimate moments, he didn’t dare stay the night. He hadn’t wanted to risk getting too close to them and having them change their mind. Having them decide that they truly did want more out of a partner than he was able to give them.

It wasn’t until they had been together for a year that Logan really accepted that they were truly okay with it. They had given him flowers with a large key in the center of the bouquet, Patton’s idea, and a small envelope with a key inside.

(”What is this?” Logan asked, earning a giggle from Patton and a playful eye roll from Roman.

Patton moved to sit beside him and leaned against his side sweetly. “It’s a key. For here,” he told him as he tapped the small, dark blue heart they had painted on the key - presumedly with nail polish if Logan knew Roman at all. 

“Why?” 

“So you can move in!” Roman said excitedly. Logan gawked at him, surprised and maybe a little overwhelmed, which had his boyfriend practically tripping over himself to fix the situation. “You don’t have to share a room if you don’t want to! We have another bedroom! Or-- or, you can just have it and come over whenever and--”

“Roman,” Logan interrupted, voice a little watery despite himself. “Thank you.”)

Logan did not move in, but he did take advantage of the key by allowing himself to come over uninvited. It never seemed to bother his partners, even on nights where he came in late after tutoring sessions to earn extra money for his text books.

He kept his dorm room partially for his own sanity and partially because his scholarship required him to have one. Being required to have one gave him a place to retire on extremely late nights and somewhere to turn in the middle of the day when the trek to the apartment just wouldn’t be worth it. It also gave him somewhere to go when the noise and the excitement grew to be too much. Patton and Roman, though he loved them dearly, were a lot at times. Two constant balls of energy outweighing his own subdued nature. He needed a little room to breath and they were more than willing to give him that, even if it meant being apart. 

The room remained necessary when Thomas came to New York for school and occasionally found himself seeking out Logan for assistance with school work or just life, at times. Where people typically saw his logical advice as ‘useless’ or ‘unfeeling’, Thomas took it and added what he needed and thanked Logan for helping him see things a little clearer.

Thomas found himself in Logan’s room to study or to relax, finding comfort in something that had traces of his brother around when he couldn’t trek across town to get to his apartment. Logan’s roommate, Remy, being there pretty often was nice, too, but definitely not the only reason he hung out in Logan’s dorm rather than his own.

Remy and Thomas had grown close in those days where Logan abandoned the dorm but Thomas didn’t, binge watching whatever they wanted and studying together and doing anything they could while young and free in the city. Thomas growing close to Remy meant him being around even when they weren’t hanging out on campus. It was only a matter of time before Roman and Patton loved their little brother’s new friend.

Life continued on like that. The older three of the five graduated and got jobs. Logan started graduate school and Thomas and Remy got an apartment together. Things stayed constant. Things stayed happy.

Their friend group grew a bit, though stayed mostly just the five of them.

Until Thomas became particularly good friends with a skittish young man in a theatre appreciation class.

Until Thomas introduced them to Virgil Casey.

--

“Do I really have to go with you? I--I mean, these are your friends, not mine and I don’t. Fuck, I dunno. I don’t like strangers, Thomas.”

To say Virgil was nervous about meeting Thomas’ brother and his boyfriends would be a severe understatement. It terrified him. If they were even half as active and excitable as Thomas was, he was going to be running out of the apartment before introductions were even over. 

“They’re not really strangers. I’ve talked about them to you and talked about you to them. Therefore, you’re only really strangers through the technicality that you haven’t met in person yet,” Thomas reasoned, hooking their arms together as they started their way up the stairs.

Virgil blew out a sigh and did his best to relax with the touch. Thomas wasn’t going to bring him into any dangerous situations, Thomas wasn’t going to leave him there all alone to fend for himself. Thomas had probably even warned them that he didn’t exactly like loud noises or quick movements. Probably. He hoped.

Thomas continued chatting with him as they walked and Virgil focused on that rather than the anxiety he was feeling. Being around his friend was calming and it was nice to even say he had a friend, something he’d lacked for years before he moved to New York. 

Thomas had been the first - and, really, so far only - person to get passed the shyness and the fright written on every inch of Virgil’s body and try to befriend him when they were sat next to each other in a theatre appreciation course. 

It had taken almost all of that course and a slow process of talking in class and then studying together on campus for Virgil to relax with Thomas. Eventually, it stopped being just studying on campus and turned into hanging out. Despite their new found friendship, Virgil still had trouble accepting that Thomas really wasn’t going to try and hurt him or use him. Really, it had taken meeting Remy to finally convince him of the realness of their friendship. The way Thomas looked at him with all the love in the world, and the soft looks Remy gave him in return, was unlike any look he’d seen his parents give each other or that he'd had turned on him… It really showed Virgil that Thomas wasn’t like the people he’d run away from.

Even with knowing Thomas and knowing the kind of people in his circle, there was that bit of terror as they reached the door to his brother’s apartment. What kind of people lurked behind that door? What kind of relationship was hidden there? What kind of secrets were tucked away?

Apparently, a person that could be described as an absolute ray of sunshine was what lurked there. Sunshine pulled open the door pretty much the instant Thomas knocked on it and immediately pulled him into a hug. “Oh, I missed you so, so much!” Sunshine exclaimed, making Virgil jump at the sheer volume of it.

Thomas quickly hushed the hugger with a smile on his face as he returned the hug. “Pat, it’s been, like, two days since I saw you,” he reminded him with a little laugh. He pulled back and carefully grabbed Virgil’s shoulder, waiting for a small nod before Thomas looked back at Sunshine. “This is the friend I was telling you about, Virgil. Virgil, this is my brother, Patton.”

Sunshine - Patton - smiled impossibly wider at Virgil who shifted under the gaze. Patton was practically vibrating with what Virgil assumed was excitement. “Uh… Hi,” Virgil greeted, his voice quiet. If his words hadn’t been so short, his voice probably would have shaken. Meeting new people was never fun for him.

“Hi! It’s so nice to meet you, Virgil. Thomas has told me a lot about you and you just seem like the sweetest little thing!” Patton looked like he was going to pinch Virgil’s cheeks in excitement. Virgil leaned away, a grimace covering his face. “Ah, right, sorry! I’m pretty loud sometimes but I’m just really, really, really excited to meet you. Don’t worry, I already told Roman that he’s gotta keep his voice at ground level.” Patton cracked a wide grin at the confused faces turned towards him. “Get it? Ground level? ‘Cause he’s gotta keep it down!”

Virgil cracked a little grin at that and nodded. “Yeah, I get it. Thanks,” he mumbled. He shifted for a moment, letting his eyes fall back towards the ground.

“Oh! How silly of me. Come on in, you guys. The gangs all here. Just a warning, Logan might try to talk your ear off a bit and if he gets to be too much, just politely tell him to stop and he will.” No worries about that, Virgil could never really tell anyone to do anything. He would just let them go on and on until-- Oh. That was a familiar face.

His old tutor - one Logan Patrick - sat on the sofa seemingly grading assignments with a red pen and, from what Virgil could tell, many, many notes. Logan was a big part in Virgil even being able to go to college and meet Thomas after tutoring him through his GED studies. And he hadn’t really changed at all in the time since Virgil had seen him, still the same button up and blue jeans with a tie to ‘make him look more professional’. Virgil had always thought that was ridiculous because he had never been given a reason to think Logan was anything less than professional. He never pushed boundaries, he offered support in a clear and concise manner, he had been the embodiment of something Virgil had needed in his life years before he got it. “Hey, Mr. Patrick,” Virgil greeted with a small wave. Whether it could actually be called a wave or not was up for debate considering his hand barely left his pocket, but that was about as good as it was going to get.

Logan glanced up from his papers with a surprised look on his face. “Oh, Virgil, how good to see you again,” he told him as he put the worksheets aside and stood, hand extended for Virgil to shake. Virgil shifted on his feet a moment before realization dawned on Logan. “Ah, right, you are averse to that. My apologies. I will simply, ah, wave, then.” Logan lifted his hand up by his shoulder and waved lightly.

Virgil chuckled a bit and nodded as Thomas bumped into his side, an unspoken question written across the look his friend gave him. “Uh, yeah. Mr. Patrick-- Er, Logan, he uh. He tutored me when I first moved to New York. I was workin’ on getting through my GED since Et-- Since I dropped out of high school, you know? Needed some help.”

Patton grinned brightly and wrapped an arm around Logan’s waist while Virgil spoke. “Logan is a fantastic teacher. I’m so glad he was able to help you out! I probably wouldn’t have managed to finish my degree without his help.”

“Yeah. Same. Don’t know where I’d be without him.” Probably back in that awful place he’d called home for years but Virgil didn’t want to dwell on that. It was a good day and that meant good thoughts only. 

A somewhat uncomfortable quiet covered the four of them as they stood there. Logan was never good at casual conversation, Patton knew Virgil was nervous and didn’t want to push him, Thomas wanted Virgil to get to know his family without his own interference, and Virgil still did not like meeting new people. Sure, he knew Logan, but Patton was new and Patton was loud and he didn’t want to risk having that volume turned against him.

The silence disappeared as soon as the third member of the household came in from the kitchen, a bottle of wine in one hand and a dangerous amount of glasses in the other. Virgil was sure one of them was going to drop before Danger Man put them down on the table. “Alright! It is too quiet and you all are too tense so we are going to have a glass of wine and calm down so we can actua--” Danger Man fell quiet as his eyes landed on Virgil and something unfamiliar crossed the strangers face as his eyes went up and down Virgil. “Thomas told us he was bringing one of his nerdy science friends but I had no idea there could be two gorgeous nerdy scientists in one space.”

Patton chuckled at the unintentional pun and Virgil shrunk under the gaze. “Roman,” Thomas said, voice soft and familiar and grounding for Virgil, “I know this is a lot for you, but can you tone it down just a little?”

“Oh, of course! Where are my manners? Roman Prince, at your service, my dear,” he greeted as he bowed to take one of Virgil’s hands and-- immediately got smacked in the nose as Virgil scrambled to get away from the touch.

Patton blinked at the reaction, Roman whined, and Thomas and Logan seemed to have all their focus on Virgil. Virgil breathed slowly, deeply, taking a moment to count to ten and then back to one. That wasn’t him. That wasn’t malicious in the slightest and Virgil knew that. It was okay. “Sorry. Sorry, I--” Virgil pushed out before snapping his mouth shut. Apologies never worked. He should just accept whatever is going to come at him.

“Ah, no, don’t apologize. I should have asked before taking your hand,” Roman assured him as he rubbed his nose slightly. “It wasn’t even that hard! Nothing broken, nothing bruised, it is… Quite alright.”

Huh. An unexpected reaction but a welcome one all the same in Virgil’s opinion. He nodded and forced a small smile. “Yeah… Uh, wine?” Get back on topic and nothing can go wrong.

Mostly true, too. The rest of the afternoon went by with casual conversation and only a few moments where Virgil could feel the world crumbling in on him. Thomas being there helped Virgil from letting those moments truly crush him and there was just something about Patton that helped Virgil relax. It was all… Nice. It felt almost normal, too. Well, at least, it felt like what Virgil assumed was normal.

At the end of the afternoon, Virgil actually found himself able to give Patton a quick hug and Logan a small handshake. He just nodded at Roman, put off by the looks Roman had been throwing in his direction throughout the night. He knew what Roman wanted, that look always came with wants and demands, and he was afraid that getting too close would give Roman the opportunity to actually express that. Staying close to Thomas saved him from that for now. 

“They were… Nice,” Virgil told Thomas quietly as they arrived back at the dorms after a silent trip.

Thomas smiled brightly and nodded. “See. I told you you’d like them,” he said, only a trace of smugness in his voice. Virgil huffed. Thomas had been right about that but… First impressions were always positive. It had been with him, too. The real question was: what was the next one going to be like?

--

With Patton cleaning up and Logan returning to his papers now that their guests were gone, Roman paced around the room on a rant. “Are we just not going to talk about how cute Thomas’ friend was? Or the fact that Logan already knew him and failed to inform us of how cute this man is? Or the fact that there is so much space in our bed and there is absolutely room for--”

“Roman, sweetheart, I love you,” Patton said to cut him off as he picked up the plates that covered their coffee table. “But what exactly are you talking about?”

Roman groaned and dropped onto the sofa besides Logan. It sent the worksheets Logan had stacked next to him toppling to the floor, which did nothing but make Logan annoyed as he moved to pick them up. “I’m talking about Virgil! And how absolutely amazing he is! He was quiet, yes, but that’s because he was nervous, I’m sure. He had such interesting things to say and he has such an amazing laugh and smile and hair and-- I could keep going, you know? I think… I think there is a discussion to be had here and neither of you seem even halfway willing to have it!” 

“Well, Ro, it’s just-- We just met him and from what Thomas has told me - told us, we were all listening when he first told us about Virgil - he’s not interested in that sort of thing and it would be unfair to him for us to even think about trying.”

“I understand that, sunshine, but you can’t tell me you’re not thinking about what it might be like to try! Starlight, you’re with me, right?”

“No, Roman, I am not ‘with you’ on this,” Logan grumbled as he sat back on the sofa, carefully putting his papers on the table. “Virgil has been through things that you and I cannot even begin to comprehend. I do not even know the half of what he went through before he came to New York but I know enough to say that it was a horrible situation he was lucky to get away from. If he is uninterested in a relationship with someone - especially three someones - then we must respect that. I know that is hard for you to wrap your head around with the way you pursued me, but it is simply the facts. You must accept that there is a line here that you cannot cross.”

“Are you saying that you are unhappy with our relationship?”

“That-- That is not what I am saying and you know that,” Logan told him as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I am simply saying that I know how hard it is for you to give up when you have your mind and your heart set on something. I think that you need to… You need to back down on this for now.”

Roman huffed, slumping into the sofa unhappily when Patton sweetly patted the top of his head. “If it helps, neither of us have completely shot down the idea of another person! It’s something we’re open to. Just… Not with Virgil. Not right now,” he told him with the hope of getting him to be a little less pouty.

It didn’t work. If anything, it only made Roman pout more. If they were just as interested, why were they so unwilling to try? Roman wasn’t sure but he was sure that he was going to do something about this if it killed him.

Let the wooing commence.

--

The next time Virgil came over, Roman waited until Patton had dragged Logan off to the kitchen for help with carrying the food out and Thomas had disappeared to answer a call from their mom before he made his move. He couldn’t let them find out his little plot before Virgil was in the right mindset or they’d make him stop before he got anywhere and that just would not do!

“I have a surprise for you!” Roman told him, keeping his volume down but his excitement level up. Virgil blinked at him, seeming to shrink into the sofa at the sudden words spoken in his direction. Roman smiled widely at him and stood before he walked towards the closet in the room. As he dug around, he called out a quick, “Don’t look so scared! It’s nothing bad.”

When Roman reappeared in front of Virgil, it was with his hands behind his back and the same wide smile on his face. To anyone else, the smile might have felt nice or even charming but it just managed to put Virgil even more on edge. After a few beats of silence, Roman pulled his hands out from behind his back and showed off a small bouquet of flowers. It was mostly pretty petunias and colorful cosmos. Virgil stared at it like it was a personal attack against him. “They’re-- They’re flowers!” Roman told him, only faltering a moment at the way Virgil looked physically hurt at the sight of them.

“I-- Uh. What did I do wrong?” Virgil asked. His eyes flicked from the flowers to Roman and then he trained them on the floor. 

Roman could see the other’s shoulders shaking and dropped the flowers onto the table before he moved to sit beside him, carefully placing his hand on Virgil’s knee. Virgil jerked it away on instinct before remembering, he’s supposed to welcome the touches from people who want things from him. Especially when he’s done something wrong.

“You haven’t done anything wrong, angel,” Roman assured him as he pulled his hand away. He didn’t want to scare Virgil any further.

“Cl-clearly, I’ve done something. You go-got me flowers.” Virgil’s voice shook as he spoke. He’d done more wrong shying away, he’d probably made Roman angry, Roman was probably going to--

“No, no, no. I got them because I saw them and they reminded me of you! They’re purple, like your hair! I thought-- I thought it would be nice.”

Virgil shook his head and looked sideways at Roman. “Just tell me. What did I do wrong?”

Roman blinked. He had already told Virgil that he’d done nothing wrong, why couldn’t he just believe that? What was so foreign about being given flowers just because to this guy? “Haven’t you ever gotten flowers? They were just at the store and they were pretty, like you, so I got you the flowers! Isn’t that nice?”

“I-- Yeah. Sorry,” Virgil mumbled, moving forward in an almost robotic motion to pick up the flowers from the table. It was what Roman expected, it was what Roman wanted. He should just keep his mouth shut and accept the flowers and over-analyze his own actions later. Virgil would figure out what he’d done wrong later and he’d deal with the consequences of those actions later. “Thank you, Roman.”

Roman only frowned, ready to open his mouth and start spewing off more questions because that response was not the response of someone who really wanted to accept the flowers before Thomas came back into the room. “Mom wants to know when you guys are gonna invite her back up, as if she doesn’t already know that she can just come up whenever,” Thomas said, a pleasant smile on his face that dissipated as he took in the scene in front of him. “What did you do?” He asked as he moved to sit between Roman and Virgil, gently rubbing his friend’s back as he shook.

“I just… I got him flowers! I thought they were pretty!” Roman exclaimed, holding his hands up innocently.

Thomas raised a brow at Roman and nodded slightly, wrapping one of his arms slowly around Virgil’s shaking shoulders and pulling him close to offer quiet reassurances and talk through what happened, wanting to get Virgil’s side of the story on this one.

Roman was shooed away when Virgil glanced at him with wet eyes, the fear in them clear as day. Roman didn’t even really need to be asked, Thomas just started to look up at him and he stood to disappear down the hallway with the hope of being able to overhear some of the hushed conversation. He wasn’t that lucky, wasn’t able to find out just what he did wrong. The only thing he heard was Logan’s quiet goodbye and Patton’s cooing and promising to see Virgil again soon.

And then his name being called out by his partner, in that tone Roman always thought sounded like a parent about to scold their child. Patton didn’t use it on either of them often. Not unless they royally screwed up. And Roman had.

When he reentered the living room, Patton and Logan were sat on the couch - a terribly concealed look of disappointment on Logan’s face and a tired look on Patton’s as he waved Roman towards the chair across from him. It reminded him a bit of family dinners with his actual parents, though he didn’t feel near as much dread sitting in the seat across from his partners as he always did sitting across from Dick and Jane Prince.

“So… Sweetheart, you want to tell us what happened?” Patton asked, giving Roman a small, encouraging smile even as he tried to mask the disappointment in his voice.

Roman sighed slightly and kept his eyes trained on his feet. “I gave him flowers and then… And then he asked my what he did wrong? I get you two flowers all the time! So, I thought it would be a good way to try and bridge that gap with him and make him feel more comfortable.”

“And why would you do that after we explicitly told you not to?” Logan questioned. He never had any shame in hiding when he was upset, or trying to get straight to the root of the problem. “It was made clear to you that we are not interested in pursuing him at this time because he is clearly not interested in doing so.”

“Because you are interested in pursuing him! If we’re all interested, then what is the harm in showing him that we’re interested!” Roman defended with his arms crossed over his chest. “I had no idea that he was going to react like that or I would have chosen a different tactic but I am not going to sit idly by and wait for him to show us a sign that he might, maybe, possibly have an interest in any of us. I make plans and I make my interests known and I don’t see why you two can’t just trust me on this!”

“Roman. I am going to say this one more time and I need you to really, seriously take this in. Virgil has been through some terrible hardships at the hands of someone else. It is not your place to try and force him to have any amount of interest in you or me or Patton. It is your place to be his friend and that is all. If anything comes from that, then we will welcome it. But for now, there is a line that you are not allowed to cross. Doing this now is only going to hurt any possible relationship you have with Virgil, platonic or otherwise.”

Roman straightened out a bit and raised a hand to argue a frustrated ’but-’ leaving him before Logan lifted a finger and silenced him.

 “I am not just looking out for Virgil, Roman. I am doing this for you, too. Because I love you and pushing this issue will undoubtedly lead to both of you getting hurt. I do not want that, nor do I want you to do something that you will regret,” Logan continued, calm and cool, before he waved his hand for Roman to join them on the sofa. Patton gladly moved to the side to allow Roman to sandwich between them, leaning heavily against his pouting boyfriend as Logan took his hand to complete the circle. 

Roman relaxed in their embrace and tried to accept what Logan was saying. Even if it made Roman grumpy to admit, Logan was usually right. Except when it came to the definition of infinitesimal. But this was far from an infinitesimal issue and Roman had to approach it graciously. He’d have to apologize. Without flowers. He hoped Virgil likes chocolate...

--

Virgil leaned heavily against Thomas, still working through his breathing exercises even in the safety of his friends’ apartment surrounded by warm blankets. Fucking. Flowers. It had to be flowers, didn’t it? Something that used to make him smile, something he used to dream about getting.

Something that now made his chest tighten. Something that now made him feel sick to his stomach. Something that now made his mind reel with the sheer number of things he could have done to be given flowers. 

(He’d settled with accidentally hitting Roman the first time they met. I’m sorry you reacted the way you did to my affection.)

Thomas continued to remind him that Roman didn’t know, but that Virgil’s reaction was still valid. Roman had no malintent but it was still okay for Virgil to be scared after everything he went through. Virgil knew better. He knew he wasn’t supposed to react to things with so much fear now. It was ridiculous, he was behaving like a child who was scared of the dark. Over flowers.

Thomas was quiet and soft in his comfort as he rubbed Virgil’s side and talked about where they were, the lights he could see outside the tiny apartment, the textures of the furniture around them, the sound of all the happenings around them. 

The quiet was quickly and abruptly ended when the third member of their small group came in, practically kicking down the door as he carried in some precariously balanced coffees on top of a box of pizza. Virgil jumped at the noise of his friend and gripped Thomas’ shirt tightly before he managed to actually take in the sight before him.

Remy Mercier stood in front of them, clad in his typical sunglasses and leather jacket despite it being both night time and not exactly cool out, a smile on his face as if he’d just come in with the answers to all of Virgil’s problems.

“Alright, babes, I’ve got the answers!” Remy exclaimed, the smile not flickering even a bit as he set the pizza down - without knocking over any of the coffee by some miracle.

Thomas sighed and gazed at Remy with an overtly fond look that Virgil knew very well. The one that spilled all of Thomas’s best kept secrets without a single word and yet was still continuously missed by his closest friend. “The answers to what, Rem?” Thomas questioned, a single brow raised as Remy dropped onto the sofa next to Virgil.

Remy rolled his eyes as if the answer was obvious before returning Thomas’ fond look with one of his own. The fondness, the feelings, were a little better concealed by Remy but Virgil didn’t miss them. He’d learned to read people and their expressions quickly so that he could properly react to a situation. “The answers to this… Dilemma our Dark Roast Babe is dealing with,” Remy informed him as he started pulling the blanket off Virgil. Virgil whined indignantly at the loss of the warmth but stopped once Remy took the place of the blanket, having wrapped himself in it as he continued speaking. “The answer is to accept that shit fucking happens sometimes and if your brother and his boyfriends are even halfway decent people they’re not gonna give a fuck. The next answer is to eat some pizza, watch some movies, and remember who you are and where you are and how you, Virgil, got here.”

Thomas snorted, straightening out a little and deepening his voice to say, “Remember who you are, Simba.” His face remained serious for all of three seconds before he burst out laughing. The way Remy rolled his eyes at Thomas but still smiled actually did help Virgil relax. Even if that was a terrible joke.

“Guess that means we’re watching Lion King?” Virgil joked.

And it was a joke. It was. But Thomas was up on his feet before he even finished the question to dig around for the DVD. He knew it was there somewhere. Remy and Virgil shared a look for a moment before just laughing at Thomas’ antics. After a moment, Remy went to aid Thomas in his search - too close to his friend to actually be any real help - and Virgil was left alone, wrapped in his blanket burrito.

Virgil just watched, breathing slow and deep like he’d been taught, and just let himself relax as his friends started just tossing DVD cases through the room as they looked.

Virgil was lucky to have them.

--

Chocolates. Chocolates. A box of chocolates with a piece of paper attached to it that had nothing but a red, cursive ‘R’ and a little heart on it. Virgil knew he should have expected it - even though Thomas promised him that Roman really hadn’t meant anything with the flowers - but still it came as a surprise after a couple weeks of just bonding with the three of them. He’d let himself grow comfortable too quickly. Logan was familiar, Patton was sweet, and Roman had been keeping a safe distance after the flower incident. 

Virgil had even started to come over alone. Their apartment had turned into another safe space outside of his small dorm room. Thomas and Remy’s apartment and the Terrific Trio’s (a nickname given by Remy upon his first encounter with them) apartment were the only places he felt like he could truly breathe.

And all it took to ruin that was a box of chocolates from Roman.

Virgil had seen the chocolates when he’d returned to his dorm room after a study session with Logan. Roman must have snuck them into his bag when they’d all eaten dinner and Roman had left to ‘use the restroom’. Lies, lies, lies. Virgil couldn’t stand them. His eyes had stung with tears as he processed the fact that they lied to him. They had lied. Roman had lied. 

But, it didn’t matter that they lied. It didn’t matter that it hurt. It didn’t matter what Virgil thought or felt about the chocolates because he knew what they meant. He knew what Roman wanted and he could tough it out and get through it and deal with that breakdown later.

Virgil showed up at their place for movie night on Friday as requested - no Thomas or Remy to protect him from the inevitable  - and knocked on the door. Patton greeted him but he didn’t really hear anything Patton said as he led him in, just a quiet buzz that he assumed was Patton speaking. He smiled and nodded a bit when Patton turned and gave him a look that made it seem like he’d just asked a question. 

Apparently, that was the response Patton needed before he disappeared and left Virgil alone in the living room. Alone. Until Roman came. All it took was a hello and that same, charming, deceitful smile from Roman before Virgil tensed up. Breathe. You know what to do.

Virgil blew out a breath and took a few brave steps in Roman’s direction, pulling at the ends of his sleeves for a moment before looking up at Roman, all doe-eyes and innocence he’d perfected over the years. The only thing that ruined it was the shaking. He was out of practice after nearly two years away. “How… How do you wanna do this?” Virgil asked, angry at the way his voice was too quiet, too shaky. Roman was going to be upset with him.

“Uh,” Roman started, laughing a little uncomfortably. “I mean, we usually do this on the couch, so.”

Okay, okay, Virgil could do that. Patton and Logan might see but… But that was okay. They were Roman’s boyfriends, they probably knew this was going to happen. 

Virgil stopped fiddling with his sleeves to pull off his jacket, carefully setting it over the edge of the chair before he approached Roman. He still couldn’t stop the shaking, but that was okay. Maybe Roman wouldn’t notice.

Roman noticed. He noticed the shaking and the way Virgil wouldn’t quite meet his eyes and the way he approached like this was a well-rehearsed routine of his. When Virgil snaked his arms around his neck and tried to pull him in, Roman stepped back and placed gentle hands on Virgil’s hips. “Woah, hey, Virgil, what are you doing?” He asked, concern written across his face.

“I’m… I’m giving you your gift. As a thank you,” Virgil told him with a scrunched, confused face. 

“A thank you? A thank you for what? The chocolate?” Roman asked. Virgil nodded slowly, the confusion on his face slowly giving way to fear. Fear that Roman thought had no place on a face as innocent as that. “Virgil, Virgil, you don’t have-- You look so uncomfortable, why don’t you sit down?”

Virgil shook his head. “No. No, I’m fine. This is-- I know what I’m supposed to do. You gave me something so I give you me so we’re even. I want this to be fair.”

“Virgil, you don’t have to give me anything. I’m not asking for anything from you. I just wanted to give you something sweet because you deserve to be treated well.”

“I-- No, I don’t. I know how I’m supposed to be treated. Can we just-- Can we just get this over with, please?” Virgil asked, trying to pull Roman in again. 

Roman moved his hands from Virgil’s hips to his shoulders, causing the other to freeze. Roman felt awful about the way Virgil seemed so afraid of what he might do but it made it easier for him to push the other backwards onto the sofa. Calling for Patton and Logan, Roman grabbed Virgil’s jacket and very slowly draped it over the other’s shoulders. The other immediately took the chance to curl the jacket around himself. 

“Roman? What’s wrong?” Patton asked, rushing into the living room with Logan not far behind him. Roman gestured at Virgil panicking on the sofa and Patton quickly rushed to his side. Logan looked as if he was ready to start lecturing Roman for giving Virgil this level of stress once again, but stopped short when he saw the anxiety written across Roman’s own face.

Patton went to comfort Virgil with a gentle touch and some sweet words but pulled back when Virgil twitched away from him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he muttered, squeezing the jacket tightly. “I need a minute. I need a minute and then I’ll be ready. I-I’m sorry.”

Patton blinked, looking towards Logan and Roman across the room before he asked, “Ready for what, hun?”

“I--” Virgil paused, taking a deep breath. “Roman gave me chocolates and-and I need to thank him for that. I need to be ready to thank him, I just-- I need to calm down.”

Logan scrunched up his face, glancing at Roman who still looked anxious and confused. Clearly, whatever this was wasn’t something Roman had anticipated in the slightest. When Patton turned to look at them in search of answers, Logan simply shook his head. None of them knew what was going on.

“Virge, kiddo, what do you mean by that?” Patton asked, turning back towards Virgil with the sweetest smile he could possibly put on in this situation.

Virgil felt the blood slowly leave his face at the question. They wanted him to actually say it. They wanted to humiliate him and remind him just what he was good for. Virgil looked down at Patton’s feet and swallowed thickly before he glanced back up at Roman. “I was getting ready to let you fuck me,” he said, trying desperately to keep his voice flat and factual. He missed the mark by a mile, voice shaky and scared.

Patton made a surprised noise, covering his mouth with his hand. Logan looked shocked as his grip on Roman tightened slightly to keep his boyfriend from rushing forward. Roman looked absolutely horrified. The one among them who hardly allowed hands on his shoulders or quick hugs had just said he was going to allow Roman to fuck him. And he was going to allow it because Roman gave him chocolates. The whole idea was absurd. None of them quite knew how to react.

Roman was the first to speak, surprisingly. He shook the horror away and let the sadness he felt take over as he slumped against Logan. “Virgil… I would-- I know that’s not something you’re interested in with me and I would never make you do something like that. It was just a gift. The only thanks I need is to know that you’re happy with the gift. You don’t have to give anything in return for that,” he said, keeping his voice soft and quiet so he wouldn’t scare Virgil any further.

“That’s not true” Virgil mumbled, letting out a weak laugh. “I know you want something.”

Logan spoke up next, leading Roman to a seat as he moved across the room to sit beside Virgil. “He honestly does not, Virgil. If there is one thing I can promise you, it’s that. One hindrance that kept me from joining this relationship was my fear that they would ask something of me that I am unable to give. I am asexual and I was afraid that… That they would be interested in… In sex, with me, and as soon as I told them I was not interested, they assured me that they would never push me to give them something I did not want to. It would be the same for you,” Logan explained, his voice soft as his hand rested on Virgil’s knee.

Virgil moved away, shaking his head. “Yeah, sure, whatever,” he grumbled. “I know how this works. You give someone something and you get something back from them, whatever you want. It’s that fucking simple. Your partner wants to have sex then you do. That’s it.”

And that hurt. It hurt Logan and it hurt Roman for his partner and it hurt Patton to think that Virgil could actually believe that. Logan retreated into himself as Roman jumped to his feet and began to rant about consent and sexuality and boundaries to the room, the sadness turning to annoyance in a snap to defend his partner.

Virgil shook. He kept his eyes down towards the floor and he nodded at Roman and he apologized so quietly it was hard for anyone to hear. He looked terrified and ready to bring his hands up to protect himself the moment he needed too. Roman didn’t notice, Logan didn’t notice. Luckily, Patton did.

Patton carefully grabbed Roman’s hand and led him back to his seat, hushing him in an instant before he went back to crouching in front of Virgil. He slowly, slowly brought his hands up to grab Virgil’s and bring his attention up from the ground and onto his face. “Vee, honey, you do know you’re allowed to say no to your partner, right? If you really, really don’t want to do something, you can say no and they should respect that. Your wants are important,” Patton explained, voice just as gentle as his touch.

Virgil scrunched up his face, the tears in his eyes threatening to fall out when he did. But he knew better, he knew not to cry. “No,” he mumbled shakily. “No, they’re not. Because-because if you want a relationship to work that means you need to do what they say, when they say it. It-- It means doing things even when you don’t want to so that they know you care. It’s how you show you l-love them.”

The room was deadly silent as the three processed what they just heard, their hearts broken at the thought of it. Several moments passed as they racked their brains to find something, anything to correct Virgil, to comfort Virgil. 

“Virgil…” Logan started, cautiously “That is not the way a healthy relationship works. You-- You shouldn’t be expected to do something you don’t want to do. I have… I have never been asked to do something that is uncomfortable for me with these two. Not even once. I take it that you have.”

After a moment, Virgil nodded slowly. No point in lying to them now. 

Patton leaned forward, hands tightening slightly around Virgil’s. “Oh, hunny, I’m so sorry,” he said quietly, voice shaking a bit as he tried his best not to cry. 

Roman stood from his seat once again and moved to sit on the sofa next to Virgil. Beneath all the hurt, there was something burning in him that wanted to destroy whoever had hurt Virgil like this. But that wasn’t where his focus was right now. His focus was on trying to calm his partners, himself, and Virgil. “I… I would like to tell you that I will never expect something in return if I give you anything. And if I ever, ever put you in a position where you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, you are more than welcome to tell me. You are more than welcome to tell me no,” Roman told him earnestly. “The last thing I want is to put you in a position where you feel obligated to do anything. And I am so incredibly sorry for putting you in that position now. While it was not my intention, it is my fault. Not yours. Not in the slightest.”

Virgil shook his head and took a shaky breath, ready to protest, but was cut off by Patton scooting closer and parting Virgil’s knees in the process. He was sure this was it, but was proven wrong when Patton only wrapped his arms around Virgil’s waist and held on tightly. The breath Virgil had taken rushed out of him and he folded himself in half over Patton, finally allowing himself the relief of crying. Of holding onto someone else and letting himself feel the weight of all of this. 

It didn’t take long for the other two to join them, Roman sliding to the floor to wrap himself around Patton’s middle and Logan doing his best to get a grip on all three of them. 

Virgil wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, crying and holding onto each other. But, he knew by the time he fell asleep that they’d all ended up on the floor, covered in blankets, and they knew his story. 

And that didn’t feel so bad. 

--

After that night, growing close to the three boys over the following months came as easy to Virgil as breathing air. 

Which is to say, it wasn’t always easy. 

There were moments where Virgil would revert back to that same, scared kid because things like that happened. Things like that would always happen because of what he’d been put through. But, now, when that happened, it wasn’t just Thomas or Remy who had to try and figure out how to bring Virgil back into the real world.

When Virgil lost track of where and who he was, Patton would sit and tell him about the city’s lights, pointing out the apartment’s window as he did. Roman would describe the show he was currently rehearsing or sing to him something that the other thought he might enjoy. Logan would talk to him about classes and work and the mundane things that life held. When they were all together, the three would wrap him up in their arms and do what they could to protect him from the monsters that haunted him.

They knew his story and that made it that much easier to accept that what they told Virgil was true - none of them wanted to hurt him, all of them wanted to show that they cared about him.

Inevitably, Virgil started to grow… Feelings for them. He would stutter when Roman complimented him, his heart would skip a beat when Patton laughed, he couldn’t keep the smile off his face when Logan went on a tangent.

It was scary. Terrifying, even. It had been years since Virgil had allowed himself to think about a relationship in any way. Friendship had been hard to gain, and dating was a completely different beast that taunted Virgil. 

What if everything changed when he made his feelings known? What if this had all been an elaborate act? What if they showed a different side of themselves when they got together? What if, what if, what if?

There were so many what ifs that ran through Virgil’s mind as those months passed. But, watching the group interact gave him the proof he needed to believe that these were not secretly awful people. Virgil was allowed to see glimpses of them that were private to the word outside the walls of that apartment. Logan breaking down from stress, Patton dealing with emotions he didn’t know the source of, Roman doubting himself after speaking with his parents. Each and every time, their partners did everything they could to make it better. Put away Logan’s books and made him sleep, wrapped Patton up in blankets and reminded him it was okay to be sad, told Roman that his parents had no influence on the wonderful adult he’d grown into. 

Virgil trusted them with his everything, Virgil loved them completely.

And he told them as much. Granted, it wasn’t the way he had planned to do it, but he had. It had come up naturally while watching the three make him dinner for successfully completing his finals. Virgil had been laughing as Roman pouted about being denied access to the stove and it had just bubbled out.

(”Roman, you know what happened the last time we allowed you to be the one at the stovetop. You burnt rice. You cannot be in charge of the chicken,” Logan said, shaking his head with a small smile.

Roman crossed his arms over his chest, bottom lip pouting. “That was one time! And a different food. I think I can handle this.”

Patton rubbed Roman’s arm and kissed his cheeks. “We know you can’t, honey, and that’s okay!” He told him with a voice as sweet as sugar. But it only made Roman pout even more. Which made Virgil laugh. And laugh and laugh.

He wasn’t sure why he found it so funny, all he knew was the he felt light and wonderful and happy. A rare feeling for him. And something he hadn’t dared to say in years just slipped right out. “I love you. I really, really love you.”)

They had sat after that incident and talked for hours about what that meant, what Virgil needed from them to make him feel safe and comfortable with them, where the boundaries needed to be set. The three had taken all of that in, returning his affections with so much sincerity that Virgil had cried a few times throughout the evening.

Three became four and life seemed to be looking up. Virgil was moving on with his life, not allowing his past control him anymore.

For all of a month.

And then he came back.

--

“I just-- I thought I was finally getting somewhere with Remy and then he meets some guy at Starbucks and suddenly it’s all about him!” Thomas whined, throwing his hands up in defeat as he fell backwards onto the sofa. 

Virgil chuckled at him with a small shake of his head. “You had to know he wasn’t going to wait forever, Thomas,” he told him, tossing a piece of popcorn at his friend and getting half-heartedly scolded by Logan for making a mess. “Besides, we all know Remy is madly in love with you and you are the only one who can’t see it.”

“He’s right, you know. We have all known since you started constantly crashing in Logan’s dorm instead of your own. You gushed and gushed about this ‘cool guy’ you met and then we met him and we could all see how painfully obvious his crush on you was. Except you. I tried to get you to ask him out then, but, no, I was crazy for suggesting such an outlandish idea,” Roman reminded him. 

Virgil watched the two bicker back and forth, Patton soon joining in on teasing his little brother. With a fond look on his face, he leaned back into Logan and the other wrapped his arms around Virgil’s middle to hold him in a loose embrace. These nights were some of his favorites. The nights where they stayed in and ate pizza and watched movies and played together. It was such a stark difference from the last ‘relationship’ he’d been that it almost gave Virgil whiplash.

That didn’t scare him so much anymore. It reminded Virgil of all those relationships he’d seen in those cheesy teen movies that Roman had been shocked he hadn’t seen when he first started coming to movie nights. All smiles and sweet kisses and quiet conversations over the phone until Virgil fell asleep in his dorm and them waking up to the phone ringing in the middle of the night to calm him down after a nightmare. It was warm and comfortable and safe. Virgil loved it.

“That’s not even the point here, guys!” Thomas exclaimed, pulling Virgil out his thoughts as Logan tightened his arms around his waist to help keep his boyfriend calm with the raise in volume. “The point is that Remy’s boyfriend sucks and none of you will listen to me!”

“Does he actually suck or are you just a little bit jealous?” Roman teased with a little smirk.

Thomas huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. “No! He is actually the worst. They’ve been dating for, like, three months now and-and I don’t know! Remy cancels plans with me now and will leave in the middle of plans we kept if he gets a text from his boyfriend. And I’ve never seen Remy even slightly scared of anything but he actually seems terrified of what Ethan might do if he doesn’t drop everything immediately to come be with him.”

Virgil’s mind came to a crashing halt. Did he hear that correctly? Did Thomas say-- It couldn’t be the same one. It was a commonHe was states away from that monster and he had been so careful about not letting anyone know where he was. Not that he truly had anyone to tell. So, it couldn’t be the same one, it just couldn’t. 

“Have you talked to Remy about it?” Patton asked cautiously, wrapping a comforting arm around his little brother’s shoulders.

“I’ve tried to,” Thomas mumbled as he leaned into his brother’s side, “but every time I do, he brushes it off and says that I worry too much. Which usually I would agree with but… This Ethan guy gives me a bad vibe. And all I know about him is his name and whatever I could get from his FaceBook. I think it’s the last name. Too close to devil to be a good guy.”

“What? What was his name?” Virgil asked as he shot up straight, eyes wide with fear.

Thomas blinked at the question, confused about why Virgil would care about that one little detail. “It-- It’s Ethan DeVille, I think. Like Cruella DeVille. That’s the only reason I remember it. I-- Vee, are you okay?”

Virgil was far from okay, his breathing quickly becoming erratic as he stood up completely to gather his things from around the apartment. He ignored all the questions, all the concerned looks, all the gentle attempts to get him to sit back down with them and talk. Not right now. Right now, he needed to find Remy and help him before it was too late.

“I-I’ve got to go. I’ll call in the morning,” Virgil told them before he rushed out of the apartment. He stopped only briefly to call out an ‘I love you’ to all of them.

In the end, he was glad he had. 

Because when he managed to get back to his dorm, there was a familiar face waiting for him, looking as calm as ever. Virgil knew what hid behind those dual-toned eyes and that gentle looking smile, though. 

And before he could even think to run again, Ethan Deville had his arm in a bruising grip that Virgil did his best to try and get out of.

”I missed you, Virgil,” Ethan told him softly, though any ounce of sweetness on his face completely gone. “I think it’s time we go home now, don’t you? You wouldn’t want that dear friend of yours to get lonely, would you?”

Virgil froze. “What did you do to him? What did you do to Remy?”

Ethan smirked smugly and yanked Virgil close. “Oh, nothing yet, my dear. And it can stay that way as long as you listen to me. Do you think you can handle that this time? Or am I going to need to teach you a lesson? I sure would hate to have to hurt someone who hasn’t done anything wrong,” he whispered.

Any fight Virgil possibly had left in him melted away. He wouldn’t dare put someone he cared about in danger. Virgil gave Ethan a small nod, heart pounding in his chest as Ethan laughed at him.

“Good. Leave your phone. It’s time to go.”

--

The house Ethan pulled up to looked almost cozy. 

It was in a line of similar looking homes, simple two-floored homes with white picket fences surrounding the tidy looking lawns. Virgil could see the rose bushes planted in front of the porch and wondered how much it was going to hurt when he ‘tripped’ off the porch into them. There were no lights on despite the late hour and Virgil hoped that Remy had gotten out of there, had managed to slip out while Ethan was gone and run to safety. It was unlikely, but Virgil could still hope. At least for a little while.

Ethan pulled open Virgil’s door, ever the charmer when there was a possibility that someone could be watching them, and kissed Virgil when he climbed out. Virgil pushed on his perfectly practiced smile as he slipped his hand into Ethan’s. His stomach rolled as Ethan gave him another quick kiss, holding Virgil’s hand so tightly it hurt. 

It scared Virgil how easy it was to fall back into those long unused practices. He showed no visible signs of discomfort or panic because he wasn’t allowed to feel those emotions, not anymore.

The house was quiet when Ethan led him in, locking the door behind them. Virgil counted the locks silently. Three. Three different locks. Keys needed for two of them.  Ethan would never leave those keys alone, Virgil would never get out of here unless Ethan wanted him out. 

“Sit,” Ethan commanded, pointing to the couch without even looking at him. Not that he needed to. Virgil knew how to listen. “Did you really think I wouldn’t find you? Are you really that stupid?”

Virgil swallowed and hugged himself tightly. “N-no, of course not, Ethan. I… I didn’t plan to be gone that long, I--”

“You didn’t plan to be gone that long? Three years, Virgil. Three. Years. It’s laughable, really, that you think I would believe that. I know you thought you could get away from me. It’s cute,” Ethan said, laughing a bit flatly.

Virgil knew what came after that laugh but there was still that feeling of shock when Ethan’s fist made contact with his face. Tears filled his eyes as the pain blossomed over his cheek and his hands came up to protect him from further injury, giving Ethan the opportunity to grab his wrist and yank him up. “Don’t you dare act like I’m that stupid again, do you understand me?”

“Ye-yes, I’m sorry,” Virgil mumbled, choking back tears as he nodded at Ethan.

“Good. You have a lot to make up for. That idiot told me, you know. Told me about those boys and how happy they made you. You should consider yourself lucky I took the moron instead of one of them. I would not have been so merciful to them.”

Virgil was quiet for a moment before asking a very cautious, “can I see him?”

“You want to see him?” Ethan repeated, chuckling darkly before he pushed Virgil back onto the sofa. “Sure. Why not? But first…” He played with the zipper on Virgil’s jacket a moment and Virgil’s mind kicked into gear, reminding him what to do.

Ethan was going to give him something he wanted, but first, Virgil had to thank him for it.

Virgil went into auto-pilot, moving through the whole experience like an actor who’d been performing the same role for years. He didn’t cry, he reacted the way Ethan always wanted him to, he didn’t flinch away from harsh hands on him. A perfect performance from someone who has been taught how to act.

When Ethan was finished, Virgil sat still on the sofa and did his best not to pick at his skin. There was the need to separate the person who went through that and the person he had become over the last three years, but he couldn’t wash this all away with Ethan standing right there.

“Oh, I missed that. Not your best, of course, but I’ll forgive you just this once. You’re out of practice after all that time away,” Ethan said, smiling softly at Virgil for a moment as he buttoned up his shirt. Things were always better for a short amount of time after, Virgil remembered. A very short time, it seemed. When Ethan finished dressing, he grabbed Virgil’s face harshly and forced the smaller man to look him in the face. “However, if you intend to keep making these… Silly requests, I will expect much better of you in the future. Do I make myself clear?” Virgil nodded slowly, silently and Ethan grinned at him like a cheshire cat. “Good. Now, get dressed. Leave the hoodie, we need to be sure the dummy understands just what you’re saving him from.”

Virgil obeyed quickly and quietly, not questioning Ethan allowing Remy to see the bruises forming over his skin. He could rescind his offer to allow Virgil to see his friend and all Virgil wanted to do was make sure that Remy was alive and well. Ethan led him upstairs when he finished dressing, unlocking a door - just a twisting lock on the outside, Virgil would have to remember that, he wouldn’t need permission to visit if he snuck away in the night - and pushing it open for Virgil.

When Virgil laid his eyes on Remy, he nearly cried. He could see the rise and fall of his sleeping friend’s chest. Alive, check. Well, however, did not get a check. Virgil could see the bruises on Remy’s wrists in the shape of hands that squeezed too tightly, bruises on his cheek from sharp smacks. He could only hope there was nothing hiding under Remy’s clothes.

“I thought you said you hadn’t done anything to him,” Virgil said, voice weak as he approached the bed.

Ethan snorted. “I didn’t do anything to him. He did it to himself. The moron kept trying to get help, kept trying to get out, kept being too loud. I needed to teach him a lesson.” The man paused, narrowing his eyes at Virgil. “Do I need to teach you a lesson about questioning me or are you finished?”

Virgil glanced back at him and apologized quietly. He knew he’d pay for it later either way, but he knew a quick apology would still allow him the time to speak to Remy.

“Good boy,” Ethan murmured, pushing away from the doorframe. “I’ll be back in five minutes. Don’t do anything stupid.”

With that, Ethan left, leaving the door wide open. If it weren’t the second floor, Virgil would try and convince Remy to get out through the window. Ethan had what he wanted now, he wouldn’t chase after Remy. But Virgil wasn’t going to risk the possibility of Remy getting hurt more than he already was. He’d figure out another way to save his friend from this hell.

Carefully, Virgil reached out a touched Remy’s arm to wake him. The few times he had had to wake Remy up in the past, it had taken minutes of shaking and shouting to get him to so much as grumble at him. This time, Remy was up as soon as his fingertips made contact and the usually rough and tough man put his hands over his face and started muttering rapid apologies for anything that came to mind.

“Remy, Rem, it’s me, it’s Virgil,” he assured him, gently taking Remy’s hands in his to pull them down and allow the other to see his face. “It’s just me. Ethan went downstairs, he’s not going to hurt you anymore. You’re safe. You’re okay.”

For a moment, a look of utter relief crossed Remy’s face. It was brief, fleeting, but it was there. Virgil smiled, wincing at the pressure that put on his bruising cheek, and the relief disappeared. “No, no, no, no,” Remy muttered, sliding his hands out of Virgil’s to pull at his own hair. “He said— I thought—“

“Whatever it was, he lied. He— It’s something he does a lot,” Virgil said quietly. He had discussed that with his therapist a couple times since he started seeing him a few months back. Ethan had lied to Virgil and he was going to continue that cycle. 

“He promised. He promised that he’d leave you all alone as long as I— Where is everyone else? Are they okay?”

Virgil pulled at the hem of his shirt and sat carefully on the edge of the bed. “They’re okay,” he assured him softly as he reached back for Remy’s hand so he could examine the bruises around his wrist. “Probably in bed by now. He was… Waiting for me in my dorm.” Guilt covered Remy’s face in an instant that Virgil missed, focused on the bruises on Remy’s wrist. “I think these are gonna be okay. Nothing broken as far as I can tell. They’re going to heal and then you’ll be done with all this, okay? He’s not— It’s not going to happen to you anymore.”

Remy looked confused for a moment before the realization came. “Vee, no, you can’t. I can take it,” he told him with a wobbly voice. Remy had no shame in crying, didn’t try and hide the tears from him and Virgil marked that as a good sign. Ethan hadn’t completely destroyed the person he knew yet.

“I can. I’ve done it before. This is- this is what I ran away from. But I know how to handle it, I know how to handle Ethan.”

“Please, don—“

The begging was cut off by a glass shattering against the wall in the tiny bedroom. Ethan stood in the doorway, laughing at the way the two of them had jumped. Virgil was back up on his feet and standing in front of Remy to keep him out of sight. “Time’s up, boys.”

Remy snapped his hand out and grabbed the back of Virgil’s shirt. No, he wasn’t ready to let go, he wasn’t ready to be alone again, not yet, not yet, not yet. Virgil stumbled just enough to find himself sitting on the edge of the bed, fear filling him from the unintended disobedience. 

Ethan snarled, storming into the room and grabbing Virgil by the hair to yank him up. A pained noise left Virgil’s mouth and earned him a hard smack across the face. “You should know better,” the man snarled, pulling hard at Virgil’s hair. “Do I need to teach the idiot a lesson on your behalf?”

“No, no! I’m sorry, I’ll be good— I’m sorry, please, don’t,” Virgil begged as he grabbed Ethan’s arm in an attempt to ease the pain of the pulling. “I’ll make it up to you, I’m sorry.”

“You bet your ass you will. Let’s go,” Ethan growled while he tossed Virgil in the direction of the door by his hair before he let go. Virgil didn’t dare make a peep about the pain this time and just rubbed the top of his head. He glanced back towards Remy and gave the crying boy a little nod.

A silent promise to save him before it was too late. 

--

It didn’t take long for the others to realize something terrible had happened to Remy and Virgil.

Remy had missed a coffee ‘date’ with Thomas without so much as a text or a note left on the counter for him to find. Even since meeting Ethan, Remy was decent enough to tell Thomas he wasn’t going to be able to make their plans work, Ethan wanted to do this or Ethan wanted to do that.

And Virgil never called that morning. If there was one thing they all could count on, it was that Virgil kept his word without fail. As morning turned to afternoon, the level of anxiety in the tiny apartment quickly grew until Logan suggested, in the calmest tone he could muster, that they go check his dorm room. He must have been up late, he must have overslept. 

Patton didn’t have the heart to tell him that if Virgil hadn’t slept, he would have called them in the middle of the night. 

Their fears were confirmed when they reached Virgil’s dorm to find his door cracked open and his phone discarded on the bed, notifications of all their missed calls listed on the screen. On the tiny desk, there was a note that read ‘don’t look for me’ in handwriting that didn’t match anything else scattered on the desk.

“Virgil wouldn’t write this. If he— If he wanted to leave, he would have told us, right? He wouldn’t have just left,” Patton muttered, hands shaking as he picked up the piece of paper. “Vee seemed so happy last night, he wouldn’t—“

Logan nodded. They had to believe that that was the truth for their own sake, even if the idea that Virgil would just run away from them nagged at the back of his mind. 

Roman, on the other hand, shook his head. “No, he wasn’t happy. You saw the way he stormed out last night! He clearly was not happy and planned to just break our hearts by getting us to love him and then abandon us for no—“

“You know as well as I do that that is not true,” Logan cut in, keeping his voice as flat as he could. “After everything Virgil went through, he would not have planned to hurt us this way. And he did not leave angry with us. He left feeling anxious. What were we talking about before Virgil left?”

“Thomas… Thomas was talking about Remy’s boyfriend. Ethan.. De-something,” Patton supplied as he wiped his wet cheeks. When had he started crying?

“DeVille,” Roman told them. “Like Cruella. Thomas said that was how he remembered. Cruella DeVille, Ethan DeVille.”

Logan nodded once more. “Why would a name like that cause him to panic like that? Do you know if he has mentioned anyone by that name?” The other two shook their heads and it was quiet for a moment as they all racked their brains for answers. “Do you think—“

“Could it be—“

“His old boyfriend.” Logan and Roman snapped their mouths shut and turned to Patton, surprised and waiting for an explanation. “Vee— He only mentioned it one time, I almost forgot. I asked him if he wanted to watch 101 Dalmatians - I think… I think you guys were gone, picking up dinner or something - and he said no. And he’d look so scared and— I asked him why and he told me. He told me his ex-boyfriends name. And I forgot. I should’ve— I didn’t even think—“

“Patton, darling, breathe,” Logan reminded him softly, grabbing Patton’s hand before he could go spinning down the rabbit hole. “I know you are about to blame yourself for this, but it is not your fault. There would be no reason for you to try and remember that as we believed that this man was still in Florida, states away from Virgil. We believed that Virgil was safe. That may not be the case now. We need to call Thomas. Do you want to talk to him or would you like me to?”

Patton sucked in a shaky breath and nodded along with Logan. Logan was right, he knew that, but that didn’t keep him from thinking he should have filed ‘Ethan DeVille’ under ‘things that need to be remembered quickly’. “You can talk to him. I-- You’re better at thinking things through, you’ll know what to say. I’ll probably just cry,” he told him, sniffling.

“And there is no shame in that. Roman? Why don’t you take Patton to go get something to eat?” Roman started to protest, to insist that they needed to stick together right now, but a stern look from Logan had him closing his mouth and nodding. It was better to distract Patton and they both knew it. “I’ll meet you at the cafe just down the street, alright? I love you both.”

Patton and Roman gave similar sentiments along with soft kisses before Roman led Patton out. Logan sighed, dropping onto Virgil’s bed and finally allowing himself to take in the space Virgil lived in. It was tiny, cramped, but everything was tidy, save for the desk. The bed was made neatly, all his clothes hung in the closet or put away somewhere. There weren’t many personal things throughout, just a backpack on the floor next to the bed. It did seem as if Virgil was ready to throw his things into a bag and skip town at any given moment. The only thing saving Logan from actually believing that was the framed photo on top of the dresser. A picture of the four of them a few weeks after Virgil had first told them his story. Roman had insisted they take Virgil to see the Statue of Liberty and demanded they at least take one picture. Virgil had gone through the effort of printing the picture and framing it when it could have just been set as the lockscreen on his phone. He wouldn’t leave of his own free will without telling them.

Logan took a deep breath to pull him out of his thoughts, pulling out his phone and dialing Thomas’ number. Surprisingly, Thomas picked up on the first ring, with a panicked, “Logan! I was just about to call you, Remy-- He hasn’t been at the apartment in days and I thought he was just… I don’t know, avoiding me because the last time we talked I told him I really didn’t like Ethan and--”

“Thomas,” Logan cut in, having to try a couple times to actually get Thomas to stop talking. “I think I know why Remy hasn’t been answering your calls. But I’m going to preface this with telling you that Patton is going to need you. And I know that whatever comes next is going to be… Difficult but we will get through. You, me, Roman, and Patton.”

“What are you talking about? What’s going on?”

Logan blew out a shaky breath. “We-- Virgil is missing. Or, we believe so. We also believe that it was Ethan who took him. Ethan DeVille is Virgil’s ex-boyfriend,” he explained, listening as Thomas’ breath quickly grew shaky on the other end of the phone. “It is possible that Ethan also has Remy. That he… He took him. And I know that is-- That is a terrifying thing to consider but we must consider it regardless. I--”

The shaky breathing on the line quickly turned to tears and Logan decided that maybe this was a conversation they should have had in person. He couldn’t comfort Thomas at this distance. “I should have said something sooner, right? This is my fault! I should have told you what I knew and then you could’ve helped him sooner and we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“That is not true. There is no way you could have known any of this was going to happen and you will not blame yourself for it. What you will do is meet us at the police station in an hour, alright? There is plenty of time to get them help. There is plenty of time to save them.”

Thomas didn’t speak for a moment but Logan could picture him working to get his breathing under control and tapping out his counting on his leg. “Okay. I can-- I can do that. I’ll meet you there in an hour,” he agreed after a couple minutes.

“Okay, that’s good. Thomas? Be careful. Everything is going to be okay, I promise,” Logan assured him softly before they said their respective goodbyes and hung up.

Logan breathed slowly.

He wasn’t sure he should have made that promise. There was no way to know that for sure. When they reached the station and were met with Officer Anton Mann, Logan realized he may have broken his promise already.

“You said he’s only been gone since last night. There’s nothing we can do to help you sir, sounds to me like he just had a fun night out on the town,” the officer told them, clearly disinterested in their plight. Anton was turned away from them and typing something on the computer in front of him. If it wasn’t for the fact that Logan could see the reflection on the officer’s sunglasses revealing that he was on Twitter, he might have actually believed he was typing out a report.

Logan glared at him, hands on the counter curled into tight fists as he tried to keep his composure as he spoke. “I also told you that he ran away from an obsessed, abusive ex-boyfriend three years ago and has been running from him since.”

“Doesn’t sound like he ran very well if he stayed in one place for three years,” Anton said, shrugging a little bit as he clucked his tongue at them.

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. It was the one that made Patton cry and latch on to his brother and the one that made Roman step forward with fury in his eyes and the one that made Logan finally lose his cool.

“Sir! My boyfriend and my friend are in trouble, do you not understand that? You are causing my partners great distress by acting so flippant about this! You are causing someone I call my brother great distress. I am not going to sit by and allow you to do this. You are going to write this up and you are going to help us because that is your job! Why the hell are you behaving as if it isn’t?”

Anton simply raised a brow at the group of him and rolled his eyes as he spotted Patton sniffling into Thomas’ chest. “Probably because you’re definitely overreacting,” he said flatly.

Roman looked ready to throw a punch or seven when another officer joined Anton behind the desk and placed a hand on the rude man’s shoulder. “Doesn’t sound like they’re overreacting to me,” he said, a brow cocked and his head tilted to the side.

This officer was joined by another who started to pull Anton from his seat and push him aside as he said, “yeah, this sounds like an actual issue to me, right, Prokras?” The other nodded and let go of Anton to allow his partner to push Mann out of the way. “Right! Okay, so, if I heard correctly, you three having a missing boyfriend and you have a missing roommate and you think they were both taken by the missing boyfriend’s abusive ex,” the newest officer said, dropping into the seat and typing away before looking at Logan for confirmation.

Logan simply blinked, confusion covering his face for a moment before he managed to shake himself together. “I— Who are you two?”

“Besides the officers who are taking your case, you mean?” The officer behind the desk asked and Logan nodded. “Guess I did just skip right over the introduction part, huh. I’m Officer Percy M. Genta and this dashing gentleman behind me is my partner, Officer Nate T. Prokras. You can call us by our first names or our last names or just Officer will do, but I get a feeling we’re going to be spending quite a bit of time together while we work on this so I’m fine with skipping passed the awkward stage of calling everyone by their fancy titles. Now. Who are all of you?”

Roman stepped forward to save Logan from his awkward, confused spluttering with only a slight glare in his own face. “I’m Roman Prince. These are my partners, Logan Patrick and Patton Hart. And the one holding Patton is his younger brother, Thomas. Thomas’ best friend, Remy Mercier, is missing, along with our fourth partner, Virgil Casey,” he told him, answering the first question Percy had asked in addition to introducing all of them. 

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Roman. Hm… Maybe nice isn’t the right word. These are pretty unfortunate circumstances to be meeting under. But, not to worry. If you’ll follow us, we’ll talk through everything you know as of now and we can get started on finding your loved ones, alright?” Percy said, a small and sympathetic smile crossing his face. 

Roman took Logan’s hand and glanced back at Patton and Thomas, as if he was waiting for some kind of confirmation that they trusted these two to take the case for them. As if they had another choice. Patton sniffled and straightened himself out by pulling away from his brother and tugging on his sweater before he nodded seriously. A nod from Thomas quickly followed and Roman looked back at the pair of officers in front of him. “Lead the way.”

--

Two weeks.

It had been two weeks in this hell and Virgil felt like he’d never left it in the first place. The routines were so easy to fall back into. Yes, Ethan. No, Ethan. I’m sorry, Ethan. Please don’t, Ethan. I know, Ethan. The only thing that kept him from completely surrendering to the way things were, the way things always had been, was that locked door across the hall from Ethan’s bedroom.

Remy was behind it. Remy was suffering. Remy didn’t deserve this, not like Virgil did. Virgil had run away and Virgil had made Ethan angry and Remy had just been connected with the wrong person. Virgil had gotten him into this mess and he was going to get him out. 

There weren’t many opportunities to see him, but Virgil decided maybe that wasn’t the worst thing. Not seeing him meant that Ethan wasn’t hurting him, that Virgil was doing good and protecting his friend. But, still, it made Virgil anxious.

He didn’t know if Remy was getting food or getting water or how his bruises were healing. He didn’t know how Remy was feeling. He did know that his friend probably wasn’t feeling anything close to okay, but he still needed to really know.

So, Virgil made a plan. Ethan was on a schedule, a consistent schedule that almost never changed. They were up by six in the morning and Virgil made him breakfast. Then they had sex and Virgil did all he could to make Ethan happy. Then Ethan had whatever fun he wanted out of Virgil before he went to work. Virgil did laundry and looked out the window and wished for someone to come save them before he made Ethan lunch. Ethan came home for his break, angry and annoyed, and took it out on Virgil before he ate and drank and went back to work. Virgil cleaned his wounds and made sure the house was spotless before Ethan came back. Dinner, more drinks, more sex, more beatings, then in bed by ten.

It was consistent and unchanging. Considering how intense Ethan could be, Virgil was grateful that he could at least tell what was going to come next because it made finding time to sneak away and see Remy easier.

The first week, Virgil had to relearn the schedule, relearn how Ethan slept and how heavy of a sleeper he was. How despite being a possessive man, Ethan didn’t want to hold Virgil at night to ensure he wasn’t going to leave again. Virgil didn’t know where the keys were, there was no getting out. 

The second week was just building the courage to sneak away, to break the rules, to risk his little bubble of safety to check on his friend. Virgil started small, just leaving the bed and walking around the room for a bit before he went and laid back down, just to make sure Ethan wouldn’t wake with the movement. Then he got bolder by leaving the room, walking down the hall and listening for any sign that the man in the bed was waking. Then it was going to the kitchen, searching for small things that wouldn’t cause a big problem when Virgil added them to the grocery list. Then it was just a night of reminding himself that he needed to do this, he needed to see Remy again, he needed to ensure that his friend was okay. 

It was day seventeen before Virgil actually managed to get himself to do it. To sneak out and see Remy without asking permission. 

He left the bed around one in the morning after staring at the ceiling for three hours looking for a sign that this would all work out. No such sign came but Virgil went with his gut anyway, sneaking down to the kitchen to gather the food he’d tucked away there. 

 He had hidden away a few days worth of water bottles and small foods like granola bars, slices of bread and cereal in baggies, and cans of fruit with the pull tabs. It wasn’t much, but it was what he was sure he could pass off as things he’d eaten while Ethan wasn’t home if he was questioned about it. As long as Remy hid whatever trash there was until Virgil could come take it away, there wouldn’t be an issue. There wouldn’t be an issue. 

The lock to Remy’s room was quiet as Virgil turned it and the door hardly made a noise when he pushed it open. Remy was on the floor in front of the window, staring out at the moon like it would provide all the answers he needed. Virgil remembered doing the same thing the first few times Ethan had left him alone in a locked room for days, begging for the moon to grant him an explanation for why he was being treated the way he was. The answer never came and Virgil had decided on his own. He deserved the way he was treated. 

“Remy,” Virgil whispered, quietly closing the door behind him. Despite the soft tone, Remy still jumped when Virgil spoke and Virgil just pushed on a soft smile as he moved to sit beside his friend. Remy looked… Better. The bruises Virgil had seen that first night were nearly gone, but they’d been joined by a dark, purple, swollen black eye. “I didn’t even know he came to see you,” he mumbled, reaching up to carefully touch the sensitive bruise.

Remy pulled his face away and turned back to the moon. “The other night. He brought me something to eat. I— I asked if I could see you again because I haven’t seen you since— He didn’t like me asking for things,” he muttered, frowning at the moon. “I thought you forgot about me.”

“I would never forget about you, Rem, I just… It’s hard to ask for things from him. And even if I did, I don’t think he’d say I’ve been doing good enough.” Virgil shook his head, pulling the pillowcase full of food towards them. “I’ve been getting this together the last couple days. Stuff you can open and eat with just your hands. It should get you through the next couple of days, I think. There’s water bottles, too. You can refill them in the sink in the bathroom if you want. If you don’t, I can—“

Virgil was cut off by Remy wrapping an arm around his waist and holding on loosely. It only stung the bruises there a little bit, Virgil was used to much tighter grips on his bruises anyway. “I’m sorry,” Remy told him. His voice was soft and shaky and so reserved, Virgil almost didn’t hear it. 

When he turned to look at his quiet friend, he found that the other had started crying. Good. That was a good sign, Virgil reminded himself before he brought a shaky hand to wipe at Remy’s cheek as he asked a quiet, “why?”

“Be-because you’re here because of me. I-- Ethan told me you were friends and I believed that. And when he asked me for your address, I gave it to him because I-I’m a fucking moron and I thought he-he was going to send you a letter or some shit. And I’m so fucking stupid for believing you would ever--”

“Remy.” Virgil very carefully pulled Remy off of him, cupping the other’s cheeks to keep his attention on him. “There was no way you could have known. And-and Ethan, he-- He has always been good at manipulating people to believe what he wants them to believe. He did it with me, he did it with our neighbors, he did it with you. It is not your fault. I should’ve-- I should’ve told you more about my past. But… But we can’t undo it now. I can’t undo it now. But I’m going to help. I’m going to get you out.”

Remy laughed weakly, shaking his head. “How?” He asked quietly, voice filled with utter defeat. That, Virgil decided, was not as good of a sign as the crying had been. Virgil didn’t want someone who would have kicked down doors and thrown fists to deal with someone else’s demons to seem even a little defeated.

“I don’t know yet,” he told him honestly. “I don’t know, but I’m going to get you out of here and I’m going to get you home. I’m going to get you to Thomas, okay? He’s been so worried about you, you know? It’s cute. He-- He still insists he doesn’t like you but we know better. We all know better. He’ll be so relieved to see you.”

“I miss him. I miss him but… What if-- What if this makes everything different?”

“Take it from me, it’s going to be different. It’s going to be different and it’s going to be scary and-- And you might not trust what you see but you can trust what you know. Thomas is… He’s too good to do anything but love you. He was the first person I really trusted after that whole thing, remember? You know you can trust him. He’ll follow your lead on this, whatever you need.”

Remy was quiet for a moment before he nodded, wiping at his cheeks as he pulled away from Virgil. “You’re right. You’re right,” he agreed softly, letting his eyes turn back to the moon. “He comes every couple days with food. You didn’t… Need to bring me anything.”

“Every couple days isn’t good enough. Even I get to eat every day and I-- Not the point. I’ll bring more in a couple days. I’m gonna come check on you more, now,” Virgil promised. “I know I can get away with it, now. So… So, don’t worry about me. I’m doing okay. Don’t ask him to see me again, okay? Just… Just let him bring the food and leave. Please?”

There was a beat and then Remy nodded again with a quiet thank you falling from his mouth. Virgil nodded in return, leaning back against Remy’s side and closing his eyes. If he didn’t think too much, Virgil could almost imagine they were back at the apartment, watching movies and relaxing, and that the moment of peace was going to be ruined by nothing other than Thomas running in while he sang some Broadway song at the top of his lungs.

But, Virgil was never good at under-thinking things and soon found himself giving Remy a tight hug before he went back out into the hall. It hurt to lock Remy back in but they’d both be at risk if Ethan were to find out Virgil had snuck away in the night. 

It was time to get back to reality.

--

Three weeks.

Three weeks and they had found nothing.

Roman had spent three weeks watching his little family try to pretend they weren’t losing their minds the more time passed without news from Nate and Percy.

 Logan had thrown himself into his work more than usual, something Roman wasn’t so sure was even possible. If they weren’t sleeping or at the station, Logan was at the school or working on grading assignments or creating new and exciting things for his students to do just to keep his mind off of things. 

Patton was doing his best to stay positive, or at least that was the image he was trying to keep up but Roman had known him for far too long and was able to see right through the act. Patton worked and Patton cleaned and Patton smiled and Patton assured the rest of them that everything was going to be okay but Patton cried at night when he thought the other two were asleep and Patton shook when they were faced with more nothingness and Patton worried and worried and worried.

Thomas, Roman believed, was having the most realistic reaction to all of this. He had sat with his advisor and pushed off his classes for a semester, had decided that he needed to process what was happening and not try too hard to split his life into the parts where he stressed about what was going on and where he worked himself to the bone to pass his classes. But Thomas was also trying to stay strong for his brother. He saw what Roman saw, the fragility of Patton, and did what he could to keep Patton from seeing how scared he was about all of this.

Roman wasn’t going to say he was dealing with all of this in the healthiest way, but he was doing better than the rest of them in his own personal opinion. He was letting himself cry and he was letting himself panic and he was letting himself think of all the worst possible outcomes for this. At least Roman was feeling. Like actually feeling.

On days like today, where they were faced with the reality of their situation as they sat across from Nate and Percy with nothing new to tell them except that Ethan DeVille hadn’t been seen or heard from in months and there was nothing that they could trace, Roman was really hit in the face with all those emotions. Logan had only nodded tensely before he dismissed himself. Patton had smiled brightly and squeezed Thomas’ hands too tightly and said he was sure they’d find something soon. Thomas had pulled Patton up and away when he saw that Patton was getting ready to crack and crumble.

Roman didn’t move for several moments, just staring at the officers as he processed this. This nothingness. The lack of answers they were giving him. “How? How do you have nothing? He couldn’t have just-- Just disappeared like that. You don’t mean that. You can’t,” he denied, shaking his head harshly. “He had to… He had to use his credit cards to move or his phone to-to talk with Remy, can’t you use Remy’s information to find them?”

“Roman. I know that this is incredibly difficult to hear and to understand, but those are the facts as we know them. But that does not mean we’re giving up on this particular lead. It just means that we might have to explore some of the other possibilities,” Percy told him with this small, sympathetic smile on his face.

“Other possibilities? There are no other possibilities on this, Officer Genta! He’s the one who did it, that… That devil took my friend and he took my boyfriend and I-- I-- You have to find Ethan to find Remy and Virgil. That’s it. That’s it.”

Nate stood up and clapped Roman on the shoulder before guiding the distraught man up to his feet. “We believe you, Roman. We really do. And we’re not giving up on that trail, we promise. I promise. But we’re going to look into what else might have happened so that we have a better chance of finding them, okay?” Roman was quiet for a moment before he nodded, wiping the tears from his face. “Okay, good. Now. Go be with your boyfriends. You all need each other right now.”

Roman nodded again and gave Nate a quick hug. Quick was maybe a little bit of an under exaggeration, considering none of them had really taken the time to hug each other and they were probably all desperately in need of that sort of affection. It lasted probably longer than what was actually comfortable for the officer but Roman detached feeling a little lighter. He thanked the officers softly, giving them a little wave and making a joke about seeing them at the same time in a couple days. It wasn’t a joke he enjoyed making and yet he made it every time.

The ride home was quiet. They were always quiet when they left. Roman thought it was so they could all digest the fact that nothing had changed. That there were still empty seats at their table that weren’t going to be filled any time soon. 

When they returned to the apartment, they all went their separate ways. Logan went off to grade assignments, Patton went to cook them dinner, Thomas ran off in search of a Disney movie to try and distract them all after dinner, and Roman went on the hunt for an audition, an endeavor that always ended with scrolling through the pictures he’d managed to capture of the four of them before Virgil disappeared.. All in the same small apartment but worlds apart.

It wasn’t until the sound of something crashing against a wall somewhere in the apartment echoed through the space that any of them even seemed to remember that the rest of them were there. The sound of the crash pulled Roman’s eyes from his phone as he jumped with surprise, the sound of wrecked screams sent Patton flying from the kitchen, abandoning the dinner prep he’d been working so carefully on, the sound of clambering feet and swinging doors brought Thomas away from his fond search through movies.

The source of it all came as a shock. Logan sat on the floor of the ‘guest’ room  - the room that had once been his and had slowly been turning into Virgil’s - with shaking shoulders and his face buried in a pile of black fabric to muffle the sobs coming from him. Across the room was the remains of a lamp that used to sit on the bedside table, a scratch marked the paint where it had hit the wall and glass littered the otherwise tidy floor. “Logan…?” Patton started cautiously, taking a couple steps into the room.

Logan’s head snapped up in an instant and he dropped the fabric to wipe at his eyes with the back of his hand. “Patton, I-- I am incredibly sorry about the lamp. I… I don’t know what came over me.”

“Oh, honey,” Patton mumbled, voice soft as he waved Roman into the room and dropped to his knees in front of his partner, careful to avoid the glass shards that had skittered across the room. Roman joined them and slowly took the fabric from Logan as Thomas disappeared to grab a broom. It only took a moment of examining the black pile in his hands for Roman to understand what had caused Logan’s sudden outburst.

The unassuming pile of fabric was one of Virgil’s hoodies. Virgil had allowed Roman to paint a little stormcloud on the jacket a few months back, before their relationship had even truly started, after Roman had taken to affectionately calling the other their stormcloud. He hadn’t been able to stand how Virgil thought that he was constantly ‘raining on their parade’ and had done his absolute best to turn what Virgil saw as a negative into the positive they all believed he was.

“I thought he had this with him,” Roman muttered, allowing his hand to ghost over the shaky lines on the lightning. Virgil had teased him the entire time he painted and it had ended with some unclear lines. “I thought he grabbed it.”

It was Patton’s turn to hold the jacket and he pressed it up against his face to take a deep breath. It smelled like their detergent, some form of proof, in Patton’s mind, that Virgil had truly started making their home his own. Virgil had started leaving things around and doing laundry there and Patton just knew if he looked around a little bit that he’d find notebooks and hair dye somewhere around the room.

“He-- He did not. Clearly. It was under the bed and I--” Logan explained, eyes focused on the ground in front of him. “I was looking for something, I don’t even remember and it was under there and I got… I got frustrated. It has been under there for weeks and no one checked. No one looked.”

The tears started rolling down Logan’s face once more and Roman didn’t hesitate to pull his usually stoic and strong partner into his arms, holding on tightly to what he still had. It came as no surprise to him when Patton joined their small pile and laid the jacket out over all of their laps. “We’re not-- We’re not done looking yet. There’s still so much to look through, it’s not- It’s not over yet,” Patton told him as he reached over to take Logan’s hand.

“It’s not,” Roman agreed quietly. “It’s not and it won’t be until we’ve found him. This isn’t… This isn’t the last thing we have.” 

Logan nodded a bit, spreading his free hand out over the tiny storm on the jacket and mumbling a shaky, “you’re right. We’re not giving up. Not yet.”

“Not ever.”

There in the tiny guest room, surrounded by pieces of a broken lamp, the three of them finally all allowed themselves to feel everything they’d been ignoring. But, they also allowed themselves to remember that they weren’t alone in this.

They were going to get through this together.

--

Four weeks.

Four weeks and Virgil saw no end in sight. 

Maybe that was because Ethan had finally ‘trusted’ him enough to let him out of the house. Virgil was never left unsupervised when he was outside the small house - let out for trips to the store and dinner dates only - but it was a sign, in his eyes.

A sign that Ethan truly believed no one was going to come save them.

That didn’t keep Virgil from trying to, at the very least, get Remy out. He had started sneaking out to see the other on a near nightly basis, just to make sure Remy stayed positive, to make sure his friend remembered that he was going to get out of here. Virgil could see that little bit of hope in Remy’s eyes dimming day by day.

It didn’t help that Remy was able to watch out the window as Virgil left with Ethan in the evenings. It was like he knew that it meant Virgil had given in to Ethan’s will but he was only doing it for Remy. Ethan had grown more consistent in threatening Remy’s safety for lack of compliance. Any small act of disobedience could cause Remy harm, something as small as not acting quick enough, and Virgil was not going to allow that. He wasn’t going to give Ethan the opportunity to hurt Remy more than he already had.

But, Virgil still hadn’t been able to sneak the keys away from Ethan in order to get Remy out the front door. Which severely limited his options for getting Remy out. The kitchen window wasn’t big enough, the living room windows opened out at an angle, the back door had its own set of locks Virgil hadn’t even seen the keys to. He was going to have to reconsider the second floor windows now that Remy finally seemed close to healed. Sure, Ethan would notice the screen missing, but it wasn’t like Virgil wasn’t going to be in trouble anyway. Even if Remy devised an escape plan on his own, Virgil would end up in trouble anyway. For letting him escape, for not telling Ethan that Remy had a plan, for not stopping him. It didn’t matter if Virgil actually knew or not. It would be his fault.

Virgil wasn’t focused on that right now, though. He was focused on the way Remy shivered on the floor even though he’d yanked all the blankets off the bed and wrapped himself in them like a burrito. As the summer gave way to fall, Virgil had noticed it getting colder, but he hadn’t taken into consideration that all Remy had to keep himself warm was whatever Ethan had given him for clothes and what he could find in the room. All Remy had to keep himself warm were thin sweats, a t-shirt, and cheap blankets.

Virgil decided that that wasn’t enough as he pulled off his warm jacket - a new one that Ethan had bought to replace the ‘rags’ that Patton had gifted him when he decided that he wanted to get rid of any remaining piece of Virgil’s ‘old life’. “I can talk to Ethan about getting you something warmer, like a hoodie or something and some… Warmer blankets,” he told him, holding  the jacket out for Remy.

His friend took it easily, a sad looking smile on his face. “Something tells me he’s not just going to agree to that,” Remy mumbled.

“I… I just have to thank him properly. I have been doing better, been… Been making him happier, I think. With what I’ve been doing, so I just need to step it up a little. Just. Have to thank him right,” he said again, eyes on his lap as he began thinking of ways to get what Remy needed.

“What do you mean?” Virgil blinked, glancing back up at Remy to find the other giving him a confused look. “You said… You said thank him right. What does that mean?”

Oh. Ethan had never made Remy thank him. That was good, Virgil thought. It was good that Remy hadn’t been forced to learn what the ‘right’ way to thank someone was, what the right way to thank Ethan was. “I, uhm, sometimes…. Or-or every time, really, that I ask for something or Ethan doesn’t do something he could have, he, uh, I have to thank him for it. Usually with like. Uhm. Sex,” Virgil explained, scratching the back of his neck. It seemed that after learning that that wasn’t how things were typically done, it had become much harder for Virgil to talk about. He knew it wasn’t right now. He knew that that wasn’t how things were supposed to be.

“Virgil… Vee, you don’t have to do that. You don’t, it’s okay. I’m not… I’m not going to freeze to death or anything,” Remy told him with a shake of his head. He didn’t like the thought of Virgil doing something like that just for him.

“It’s not something new, Rem. It’s… It’s just life with Ethan. I’d be doing something like that even if you weren’t here. Probably… Probably because I didn’t smile wide enough at the neighbor, I didn’t look happy enough, and all I got was a slap when he could have… Well. He could have done whatever he wanted to,” Virgil told him with a small shrug. 

That exact scenario had happened just days before, after one of their dates. Ethan had stopped to chat with their neighbor and his wife and had expected Virgil to play the part of a content partner who wanted to join the walking club and babysit the neighbor’s kids and had an interest in talking about new recipes to try. But Virgil had been tired, he’d been exhausted from sneaking out to see Remy the night before and getting screamed at by Ethan for crying, and his smile had been just a tinge to small and his conversation skills had been weak. And Ethan had let him have it when they’d gotten inside, more yelling, a slap across the face, and a demand for a thank you since Ethan hadn’t just thrown him into a room and left him until he learned how to act right.

Those weren’t exactly comforting words to Remy who looked positively appalled at the facts that Virgil laid out for him. “Has he… Was he always like that with you?”

“No? Maybe. Kind of. Uhm… It-- He wasn’t always this bad. We got together when I was fifteen. He was a senior, then, and he, he came up to me and he asked me-- No. He told me we were going to dinner together. He told me when and where and told me to be there. And I was. It was just. It seemed great to me, then. That a senior boy wanted to take me out, you know?” Virgil told him, looking over at his friend who watched him talk with a sympathetic look on his face. Virgil wondered what it had been like when Ethan asked him out, if it had actually been asking. “But, uh, he was controlling right away. And I didn’t know anything different than that, I didn’t know anything about relationships. Ethan was my first boyfriend and my parents weren’t really a great example. But... Eventually I figured out that it wasn’t right. It took three years but I figured it out. I didn’t really get what a relationship was supposed to be like until I met you and Thomas.”

Remy snorted, covering up his mouth quickly. It wasn’t the time to laugh, not while Virgil was telling him his story. Virgil smiled though and pushed forward. “I know… I know you two aren’t together but. But I know you love him. I know because it was always… It was just… I don’t even know how to explain it. The way you looked at him… It showed me what love was supposed to look like. It wasn’t supposed to be what I had-- What I have with Ethan. It wasn’t. It wasn’t supposed to be the terror I felt any time I did something that could make him angry, it was supposed to be the pure peace on your face whenever Thomas leans against you and holds your hand. I didn’t-- This isn’t answering your question,” he trailed off, laughing a little. “He didn’t always hit me or make me thank him for doing the bare minimum but it wasn’t ever right.”

“You can tell me about it, if you want,” Remy said after a moment, pulling Virgil’s jacked tightly around him.”I want to know. And… And we’re going to be here a while so… So, I think I should know. So I can, I don’t know, help you. I don’t know how but… But I’ll try. Even if it’s just by sitting and listening.”

“It’s. It’s a lot, you know that, right? It took me… Hours to tell the other three. It’s not a happy story.”

“Virgil. I know. You don’t… Have to preface this by telling me it’s not a good story. I know that. I know,” he reminded him quietly as he reached over to grab Virgil’s hand. 

Virgil was quiet for a moment before he nodded, taking a deep breath and just… Started talking. He told Remy everything - from the example his parents set for him and starting the relationship between him and Ethan to learning what was expected of him and what to expect from Ethan if the rules were broken. From sneaking savings into an envelope under their shared bed to running away in the middle of the night, scared and alone and unsure what to do next.

It wasn’t until he heard the angry roar from down the hall that Virgil even realized how long he had been talking. Remy shot from where he had been resting against Virgil, eyes wide with fear as he watched his friend scramble up to his feet and try to get out the door. If he was fast enough, maybe Virgil could convince Ethan he had just woken up early and had gone to get coffee started. Maybe he could keep things okay for now.

Virgil had no such luck. He never had much luck when it came to Ethan. The angry man was at Remy’s door when he pulled it open, pure rage written in every inch of his stance. Virgil stumbled back into the room when the other took a step towards him and he flinched before Ethan’s fist even came up. The punch to his jaw only made him move back further, making the man in front of him even angrier. “What are you doing?”

“I--I--” Virgil stuttered intelligently, waving his hand at Remy. A silent gesture to go hide, to not give Ethan the chance to turn any of this anger on him.

“You, you,” Ethan mocked as he grabbed the collar of Virgil’s shirt to yank him forward. He only had a moment to try and steady himself on his feet before Virgil was tossed towards the ground with a thud. “What the hell do you think you’re doing in here? You know you’re not supposed to be in here without permission. I did not give you permission,” he growled. 

Virgil shook his head and looked behind him. No Remy. Good, good, he didn’t want Remy to have to see this. “I’m sorry, I-- It was cold and, and, Remy--”

A swift kick to his ribs had the words catching in Virgil’s throat. It didn’t matter what he said, he knew that. Nothing was going to cool Ethan’s fury, now. The early morning beatings were always the worst. They didn’t happen often but Virgil remembered them. Remembered that Ethan angry first thing in the morning had landed him in the hospital scrambling for excuses for broken wrists and concussions and stitches.

Virgil could tell this was going to be no different, except perhaps that he was going to have to beg Ethan to take him to the hospital. He didn’t know where he was, he didn’t know where the hospital was, but he was going to need someone to make sure his lungs were alright with the way Ethan’s foot was continually slamming into his rib cage and his stomach as he screamed at him. He thought that would be it, the kicking and the screaming and the reminder of what the rules were in this house. 

But Ethan hadn’t given himself a reason to truly try and destroy Virgil yet and this served as the perfect excuse. Virgil knew he was supposed to be forgetting his old life and that included Remy. To betray Ethan like this? To spend time with that pathetic excuse of a man Virgil called a ‘friend’ when Ethan had expressly forbid him to? No. No, Virgil needed to be taught a lesson this time. Needed to be reminded just what Ethan could do to put him in his place. 

Ethan straddled Virgil, a sick sort of smile on his face as he slammed his fist into Virgil’s nose a few times until he could see the deep red color of blood coming from his nose. There was nothing Virgil could do to keep the pained sounds from coming now, not with Ethan sitting directly on top of his sore torso. He choked on sobs until Ethan’s hands made their way around his throat and squeezed until the sounds were stopped from pure lack of ability to breathe.

The hands only came off when Virgil’s clawing seemed to become annoying enough for Ethan to decide to grab one of his hands and push and push and push and slam into the ground to hear a satisfying crack and scream. Ethan only laughed as Virgil started to squirm under him, grabbing his play thing by the shoulders and lifting him just enough to slam his head back onto the hardwood floor of the bedroom. Black spots filled Virgil’s vision and he briefly hoped Ethan would have the mercy to stop if he passed out, have the sense to take him to the hospital.

And then he saw Remy. Remy holding something that shined in the light of the rising sun. Something that Remy slammed down into Ethan’s back. Something that caused Ethan to stop and let out his own pained scream. Something that came out dark and red, drops falling from it as Ethan turned in a rage towards Remy. Something that went crashing back into Ethan’s chest when he rushed at Remy.

Virgil’s head spun as he watched Remy shove Ethan away from him, the stronger of the two stumbling back as he wrapped his hands around the knife protruding out of his chest. The shirt on him was quickly growing dark, gray turning to black as blood came rushing out of Ethan’s chest. Ethan’s mouth opened and closed, shocked eyes on Remy, before he collapsed to the floor in a heap.

Remy stood still a moment, chest heaving and hands shaking while he processed what he’d just done. But he didn’t have time to focus on that, he needed to focus on his friend’s eyes fluttering shut after he’d watch that monster slam his head repeatedly into the ground. “Virgil, Virgil, hey, hey,” he said, shaking himself out of his stupor to rush to Virgil’s side. “I need you to sit up and… And stay awake. I’m going to call an ambulance, I need you to stay awake until it gets here.”

Virgil tried and failed to speak, his chest aching after the abuse it’d suffered and his mind too tired to try and push through the pain. He nodded slightly and let his eyes slip shut until Remy called his name again. And again. And again. Cycle repeating until Remy made a promise to be right back. 

Virgil didn’t last long enough to see him return, letting himself quickly slip out of consciousness.

--

Bright white was the first thing Virgil saw when he woke up. The light hurt his eyes as he blinked awake and Virgil squeezed his eyes shut again to block it out, sharp pain shooting across his face. He tried to lift his hand to shield his eyes instead and ease the pounding in his head, but found that he dragged some tubes up with his hand. That was unexpected.

“Oh, good, you’re awake!” A far too cheerful voice said and Virgil heard someone shuffle in his direction, beginning to mess with the thing attached to his arms. “I just made your friends go get food while I looked you over and let me tell you, that was not an easy task. They haven’t left this room since you two got here and I could tell they needed a break. Anyway, how are you feeling? Are you in any pain?”

Virgil made a noise of annoyance as he listened to the man - a nurse, he realized, as he took in the scrubs that had little cartoon drawings on them. Lilo and Stitch. So, he was in a hospital, Ethan had been smart enough to bring him in. But, Ethan wasn��t answering for him. Ethan always answered for him. There was silence for a long minute as Virgil remembered what had happened, what Remy had done, and then he seemed to panic. Remy had stabbed Ethan and Virgil didn’t immediately see him and he couldn’t keep his mind from immediately thinking of all the worst case scenarios as he tried to sit up and get off the bed. “Remy-- Where’s Remy?” Virgil asked, breathlessly. Why was it so hard to breathe?

The nurse scrambled to stop him, gently placing his hands on Virgil’s shoulders to push him back down against the bed. He withdrew his hands the moment Virgil flinched away and gave the scared man a sympathetic look. “Lay back down, Remy’s right over there,” he assured him, pointing across the room to where Remy was sleeping, attached to an IV drip but otherwise seemingly unharmed. Virgil let himself relax. Remy was here, Remy was here, Remy was okay. “Well, I’m glad he pretty much demanded to be in here with you. I told him that we’re not really supposed to do that with surgical patients - put them in rooms with other patients, I mean - but he refused to be anywhere else. Told me that I was either going to put him in the same room as you or deal with him later because he was going to refuse treatment so you wouldn’t be alone.” The nurse laughed a bit and shook his head. “But I think he knew you weren’t going to actually be alone. All those nice boys showed up not long after you went into surgery and we were already treating him in here… Oh! I should probably tell you what’s going on here, shouldn’t I?”

Virgil blinked but nodded slowly, careful not to move the little tubes in his nose. It would be nice to know what the hell was going on.

“Okay, well, my name is Emile Picani and I’m your nurse for the night shift! You’ll be here for a couple days and I should be your nurse every night, except maybe Saturday and Thursday because those are my nights off and-- Well, that’s not too important. Anyway, you’re going to be here for a little while because you had surgery, but it shouldn’t be more than a week as long as you’re healing alright,” the nurse, Emile, explained with a tiny smile. “You had a couple of broken ribs and a pneumothorax - a punctured lung, which is probably why you’re feeling like it’s a little hard to breathe right now. The doctor performed a minor surgery to reinflate the lung and you’re just going to have to take it a little easy while your ribs are healing to make sure that that there lung stays inflated. You also have a minor concussion, so now that you’ve woken up, we’ll be keeping you up for a little bit so we can make sure your noggin is alright. Your right wrist was broken and is in a nice little cast, purple per the request of your friends. Your nose was also broken and we set it back in place before we put in the nasal cannula to help you breathe.

“Uhm… There’s also some scattered bruising and small cuts, particularly in the, uhm, lower region of your body, which we, uhm… It’s evidence of... Well, there isn’t much that can be done for those but we can treat for pain and discomfort as much as needed. We’ve already got you on a nice little regiment of stuff to help with that. If you’re ever feeling like you’re in pain and uncomfortable, you can press this button -” he stopped talking just long enough to point out the bright, red button next to Virgil’s arm on the side of the bed “- and someone will come and help you out. No need to just sit there and be in pain, okay? There are plenty of people here who want to help you, alright?”

That was so much information to take in, so many negative things said in a bright voice as if that would make it seem better. It didn’t, not really. If anything, it made Virgil feel worse. He’d been to the hospital for almost everyone of the described ailments, but never all at once. It was like Ethan’s goal had been to kill him. Virgil, for the first time in the past month, was grateful Remy had been there with him. He might not have survived this otherwise. “M-my boyfriend...Where is he?” He asked, voice shaky and soft.

Emile frowned a bit and glanced in Remy’s direction before letting his eyes fall back to Virgil. “I assume you’re referring to the man who did this to you, yes?” Virgil nodded and Emile let out a soft sigh. “That man will not be able to hurt you again. Or anyone, for that matter. He is currently awaiting an autopsy.”

Perhaps Virgil should have been sad to hear that. He had spent years of his life with Ethan, had had many of his firsts with Ethan. First date, first kiss, first broken arm, first hospital stay. Virgil cried, but not out of sadness. Out of pure fucking relief.

Virgil was free.

He was really free.

“Thank you,” Virgil told him quietly, a small smile on his face. Oh, that kind of hurt. The smiling. “Uhm, I need-- Face. Hurts.” It wasn’t the most eloquent phrasing Virgil could have used but it was what Virgil could provide at the moment.

Emile was quick in treating the pain, inserting something into the IV attached to Virgil’s forearm and then patting Virgil’s hair carefully. “I’ll be back shortly, you may be a little sleepy but I am sure your friends will be happy to see that you’ve opened your eyes. They should be back soon,” he promised Virgil, who was already feeling some of the pain leaving his body. “The doctor will be in shortly to give you some tests to make sure your brain is a-okay, but for now, just relax, okay?” Virgil nodded and the nurse quickly scribbled some things onto a clipboard before he left the room.

Virgil sagged against the bed and allowed himself a moment to just breathe. To feel the weight leave him as he processed the fact that Ethan was gone. To realize that he wasn’t going to have to spend the rest of his life with Ethan or running from Ethan or worrying that Ethan was going to find him or his little family. Virgil was able to relax for the first time in eight years.

Briefly, anyway, because when Virgil started looking around the room and spotted Remy again, he remembered that his friend was here because of him. Remy was here because Virgil had been selfish. He’d let himself make friends when he knew, he knew that Ethan was out there, that Ethan wasn’t just going to give him up. 

Remy wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Virgil. The others were probably only actually here for Remy. It made sense that they would come for him. They probably all hated him, now. After everything Virgil had put them through, he wouldn’t blame them. He’d made them suffer through all of his problems from the moment he met them. Not knowing how to talk to people, not knowing how to act with people, not knowing what he was and was not supposed to do in friendships, doing everything wrong and hurting them in the process.

They were probably only ready to see him awake so they could tell him they wanted nothing to do with him anymore. Virgil had too much baggage, Virgil had gotten their friend hurt, Virgil wasn’t worth the effort anymore.

Virgil just hoped they were kind enough to wait until Remy was discharged or moved. He wouldn’t be able to watch them dote and worry about Remy while he was in his current condition. 

Virgil was pulled out of his thoughts by the door opening, the sound of bickering slightly muffled by the sound of balloons rubbing against each other as they pushed through the door frame.

“I told you we should have just gotten flowers, Roman. Remy told you the same thing before he went to sleep,” someone said, Virgil was pretty sure it was Logan at the back of the pack.

Patton laughed as he came into the room with a giant handful of balloons. Some plain colored, some covered with stars, a couple with big letters saying ‘get well soon’. Virgil felt tears in his eyes. He hadn’t realized how much he could miss someone’s laugh, he hadn’t let himself think about that too much. It had hurt. “I think he’ll like the balloons, Lo-bear. I bet it’ll even help him get whale quicker!” Patton giggled, pulling down a balloon with a whale on it. 

“And on top of that, Remy also told us not to get him anything but I don’t see you chastising Thomas for buying him flowers and chocolates!” Roman announced, carrying in flowers and being followed in by Thomas who was quickly turning a light red color.

“He was lying. He wants flowers,” Thomas mumbled as he passed Virgil’s bed to set the flowers on the small table next to Remy’s bed. Virgil didn’t miss the soft and fond look Thomas gave his sleeping friend and he was happy to note that some things just don’t change.

Logan trailed in after all of them, holding a small bag with some unknown contents in it, and sighed. It was useless to try and reason with his boyfriends now and he knew that. Still, he smiled as Patton seemed to struggle with finding somewhere to put the massive amount of balloons and Roman rushed to set the flowers down to help his partner. It was so nice to see some of the life brought back into them now that they had Virgil back.

Logan’s eyes went to Virgil’s bed and it seemed to take his brain a moment to catch up with his eyes. Virgil was awake, tears on his cheeks and some cracked, weak-looking smile on his face. “Virgil,” he breathed out, slowly approaching the bed.

“Hi, Lo,” Virgil greeted with a shaky voice as Logan took his uncasted hand and held on tightly. It should hurt, Virgil thought for a moment, but the pressure was warm and comfortable as opposed to the crushing feeling of Ethan’s hand in his. Logan’s tight grip lacked an intent to hurt him.

The weight tied to the bottom of the balloons hit the ground with a thud as Patton caught on to what was happening, gently pushing Roman’s hands away from the strings as he rushed to the bedside with tears in his eyes. “You’re awake! Oh my goodness, I am-- I missed you so much, I’m so… Can I give you a kiss? Or a dozen? Or more? I just--” Virgil cut him off with a small nod and Patton quickly started kissing over any bit of unbruised face he could reach.

Roman seemed frozen in his spot by the balloons as he watched the other two fawn over their partner. He was feeling so many things all at once at seeing Virgil awake and he just wasn’t sure which to react to first. Virgil’s eyes found Roman’s and Roman saw the fear there, the fear that Roman may not actually be happy to see him, and he racked his mind for something to say to make it go away. There was nothing he could think of that seemed to properly express how relieved he was and before he could say anything, Thomas had him by the shoulders and was guiding him to the group with gentle reminder to not be an idiot. Roman tripped over himself until he was seated on the edge of the bed with a hand on Virgil’s ankles. “I missed you,” he told Virgil when Patton pulled away. “We all missed you so, so much. I don’t think we would have survived much longer without that phone call from the police station.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared to get a phone call,” Logan said quietly. Virgil thought he could see tears in his eyes. 

Virgil didn’t like seeing all of them like this. They had all been happy as they were when Virgil had forced his way into their lives and they looked broken now, worn down by the pain they’d been put through while Remy and Virgil had been missing. And he had caused that. He was behind all that pain.

“I’m sorry,” Virgil muttered, the happy smile having fallen off his face as he looked between the three of them. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… To scare you guys.”

“Oh, Virge, honey. You don’t need to be sorry, this wasn’t your fault, you know that, right?” Patton asked softly as he brought a hand up to try and carefully wipe some tears off the bruised skin around Virgil’s eyes.

Virgil shook his head and forced out a little laugh. “It is. It is my fault. I shouldn’t have… Have let you guys care?” Virgil paused, coughing lightly. “I got Remy hurt and all of you are crying and it wouldn’t have happened if I had just… Just kept you at a safe distance, just stayed away then. Then Remy wouldn’t be here and you’d all be happy and--”

Logan squeezed his hand and cut Virgil off. “We are happy. We are happy, Virgil, because you’re back. We’re not crying because we’re sad. We are crying because we are so happy you’re here and you’re awake and you’re alive,” he told earnestly, Roman and Patton nodding along with him.

“But, if I had just--”

“Virgil, stormcloud, darling, we don’t need to talk about that. Because it doesn’t matter. We can’t… We don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t let us in and we don’t want to think about it. Because you did and we love you and we wouldn’t change a thing about this. Well, no, I would want you to be less hurt but-- But, I’m just so happy to have you in my life. Exactly how I have you now,” Roman assured him.

“And you don’t have to worry anymore,” Patton tacked on. “This chapter of your life, it’s… Well, it’s not closed. I don’t know if it’ll ever really close but… But there’s no more to add. You’re safe, now, and you have us and we’re not going anywhere. None of us are.”

Thomas appeared at his side and nodded his agreement, patting Virgil’s shoulder gently. “Remy basically refused to leave your side, it was tough to keep him out of the operating room. He has so much he wants to say to you and he’ll be really glad to hear you woke up. He and I are sticking around,” he said with a little smile.

That seemed to light a bulb over Roman’s head and he leaned towards Virgil to whisper, “I think your nurse might be sticking around, too. Thomas refuses to admit it but he’s got a couple crushes.” Roman winked and Virgil let out a wet laugh, nodding again.

There was still more to work through, more things to talk about, but for now, Virgil was going to believe them. And he was going to let himself be happy. And he was going to breathe.

Because he could.

Virgil could breathe.

[limitededitionsanderssidesblog]

Fan Fiction Master Post

Speech Impediment

Pairings: Sleepceit, Prinxiety, Logicality

Summary: 

Dexter has gone through much of his life alone and being called a liar, all because of something he can’t help, but once he makes it to college he gets adopted as the little brother and son of a very strange group of friends without his permission. Going from life long outcast to being in a circle of friends is a little overwhelming, and not short of bizarre. 

18 Chapters

AO3

-

The Stacks

Parings: Prinxiety, Logicality, one-sided abusive Anxceit

Summary:

Tucked away from society lies The Stacks, a camp of citizens abducted from their homes and forcibly moved and held so that the upper-classes can maintain power and wealth. 

Virgil, a thief who has lived his entire life in the Stacks, wants to tear down society and free his people. Roman, an ex-cop now filling the role of the Head of Security, vows to end Virgil’s terrorism and crime. Patton, an escapee from the Stacks, finds himself working as the personal chef of the province’s senator. And Logan, the Senator of Flor, seeks a way to solve both the economic crisis plaguing the province and nation, and the mysteries of the Stacks origins.

27 Chapters

AO3

-

Love Like You

Parings: Anxceit, Logicality

Summary:

Now thirty years old, Virgil has given up on the idea of romance and, at the suggestion of his friends, turns to adoption as the only means to fill the hole in his heart, only to realize that he's not yet ready to be a father either. However, he found himself growing attached to a pair of orphaned brothers and the man who watches over them.

2 Chapters

AO3

-

The Snake and The Frog

Parings: Moceit

Summary:

Janus had once told him that balance rested in karma, a life for a life, but Patton didn’t believe in such a thing. If nature dictates that the child shall pay for the sins of the father, then he will reshape the natural order and refuse to take revenge so that the next generation can be spared.

Or

Patton, cursed by an unknown sorcerer, is now forced to live his life as a frog, alone in the forest. That is until he meets a snake named Janus, a fellow cursed being.

1 Chapter

AO3

[canvas-the-florist]

let me trust you

Ship: Moceit, Familial Sleepceit

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: Abuse, Divorce, running away, food mention, kidnapping, swearing (so much swearing), and tell me if I need to add anything!

Summary: All Ethan (Deceit) wanted to do was be gay but no, plot and angst exist.

Ethan never knew what exactly his father meant when he was told to hide in his room after school when he was seven. He didn’t know why mom was always yelling and the shattering glass. He didn’t understand what had happened when late at night he would find his dad crying in the kitchen with a new bruise, cleaning up the glass. This was normal, right? He had heard from a kid named Jaxon that dads are supposed to be strong and never cry, but Ethan knew that was wrong because his dad cried all the time and was the strongest person he knew. That, he understood.

Eventually, he woke up late at night again to get food, he didn’t usually have dinner because he had to hide the moment he got home from school. This time, his dad lead him outside with two suitcases and their car.

“Why isn’t mom coming?” He had asked, but his dad only gave him a painful smile. After that, his last name changed and he lived in Florida. Ethan didn’t particularly care because he didn’t really like talking to the other kids he knew.

When he reached middle school he understood a little more but had more questions. Why did everything have to be like this? Why did his father have to flinch every time a woman looking similar to Ethan’s mother spoke. Nothing against them, it was okay to be afraid. But, why couldn’t his father be happy? To combat it, Ethan started doing better in school and making friends. Sure, he couldn’t name any of them or care about any of their lives but it seemed to make his dad smile so, who cares?

Ethan Sanders just wanted his dad to be happy. 

-

“Do you want to come to Jared’s party later? There’s gonna be booze!” One of his friends whispered. High school parties honestly sounded so bland and blatantly stupid. Ethan hissed a bit, biting back a groan. Booze, disgusting. It was one of the things that hurt his father and he didn’t want that for him.

“Can’t, I…” He tried to make a good excuse that would leave him out of peer pressure. Ethan looked around for a bit to find something. That’s when he had a plan. “I actually have a date today so.”

The friend scoffed, and Ethan bit his cheek. “Really, you have a date? With that scar on your face? Uh, no offense.”

Well, that was rather rude. Ethan felt his face, the one time he really understood his mom wasn’t a good person. He quickly dropped his hand. “Yes, I do. Besides my devilishly handsome looks, I have quite an amazing personality. In fact… I have that date with Patton Hart.”

Patton Hart was the nicest kid in school, no competition. So, if Ethan asked him out, he’d be unlikely to turn him down. Besides, he was just going to study or hang out with his dad if he actually did say no. It didn’t matter anyway. Before this annoying excuse of a friend could make fun of him once more, Ethan picked up his things and walked over to Patton, who happened to be sitting alone. The two rarely talked but hopefully, this wouldn’t be so bad. 

“May I sit here, dear?” Ethan had no idea how to flirt, just knowing that pet names might work. He tried his best to keep his cool and stopped himself from biting his cheek again.

Patton responded with a nod and a pink dusted face. Ethan raised an eyebrow while sitting down, apparently, this cutie had a thing for nicknames. He made sure to note that as he placed his backpack beside him. Hopefully, he wouldn’t screw this up. “So, sugar, how did you become the most handsome boy in our school?”

He coughed and pushed up his glasses. “I… believe that award goes to you.”

Oh. He was not expecting the flirting to go both ways. Ethan felt his face warm and he shook it off. Love only hurt his father and he can’t allow that to hurt him. He gave a small smile and leaned forward in the conversation. “I didn’t come here to be flattered, though it certainly is a plus, I came here to ask you a question.” Whelp, here it comes.

“Oh?” Patton’s eyebrows furrowed in worry and Ethan felt kinda bad… “I was wondering if you wanna go on a date with me? You don’t have to, I’m going, to be honest, and say that I’m only asking you out because my friends are shit and you’re absolutely adorable.” Wait… What in the fresh cakadoodle-fuck did he just say? Sure, Patton is attractive and a genuinely good person, but adorable? Ethan shut his eyes and attempted to stop himself from slamming his head against the table. He sure is a dumbass.

There is no fucking way anyone would say yes to that sort of proposal. Even if it is Patton. But, he needed to at least pretend he had a date so his friends would be off his back. Even if love wasn’t actually real. 

“Yeah sure.”

Wait, what. That was not expected. Ethan opened his eyes and saw Patton blushing more than he was. Ethan gave a small smile back, scared about how genuine the smile felt. He bit his lip and glanced back at his old table, they seemed to have moved on without him. Good. “So, that ice cream place after school? We can meet up by the flagpole if that works, honey.”

Patton gave a small nod. “Seeya then!”

-

After texting his dad, Ethan leaned against the flagpole with his hands in his pockets. Patton should be there soon. Not like their school campus was that big anyways. He eventually saw Patton running while holding his glasses to his face. Adorable. Ethan let out a sigh. He really did keep thinking that, huh. Whatever. 

“Ready to go?” Patton asked after catching his breath. 

“Yeah, thank you so much for doing this with me, even though we rarely talk.”

Ethan had no idea what he was doing. He did not understand why Patton would say yes or offer to pay for the food. According to his father, they should pay for their own things and that’s that. So, Ethan made sure to ensure that’s what happened. After they sat down Patton awkwardly laughed.

“So, let’s learn more about each other. Simple things, like favorite colors and whether or not you think pizza belongs on pizza.” The blonde licked his ice cream and looked back up at Ethan while he was just glad someone knew how dates worked. “I’ll go first! I like light blues, the other colors are good too but something about blue, and I love pineapple on pizza.”

“Excuse me? Pineapple ruins the sanctity of pizza! How dare you!” Ethan paused before adding, “Also, my favorite color is yellow.”

“Well pardon me for being open for better flavors! Kiddo, you probably haven’t tried it before.” That was true. He hasn’t tried it. His dad hates it with a passion so they never order it. Besides, Ethan had the feeling he wouldn’t be able to ‘appreciate’ pineapple on pizza. Maybe his mom liked it and that’s why his dad never ate it… “Kiddo? It’s okay if you don’t agree with me. Everyone has different taste buds.”

Huh. So this is what it’s like to agree to disagree. Patton must be nice to not fight over things like this. His parents did all the time. “Huh? Yeah, sorry, pumpkin. Must’ve just remembered something.”

Back to pet names and off the focus of his past. Patton blushed once more and checked his phone. His smile and blush faded when he did though. Ethan bit his lip in worry but didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to bother him or anything. It was weird enough that they were going on a date in the first place. He appreciated that Patton didn’t press for details, but he did do something else that was almost as disastrous.

‘He’s holding my hand,’ Ethan suddenly realized. Blood rushed to his face as he took notice of this. Sdfklaadfgksdnrjglksftjk a CUTE BOY IS HOLDING HIS HANDDNDN! “I… you’re too adorable holy shit.”

Patton gave a small chuckle. “You’re adorable too, Ethan. Unfortunately, I have to go and pick up my brothers from their elementary school. I’m following you on Instagram so I’ll be sure to dm you tomorrow!” With slight hesitation, Patton kissed Ethan’s cheek, basically committing manslaughter at the ice cream parlor. 

-

Ethan walked home in a giddy mood and opened the door to find his mother, but not his father. The mood died instantly when he took notice of the gun in her hand. 

“Don’t worry, the man isn’t dead, Elena.” Ethan bit his lip, hand still on the doorknob. He started to twist it when the woman turned to look him in the eyes. “Don’t you fucking dare. Go pack up your room, and your father’s too, you’re not leaving that easily.”

He slowly walked into his room and packed everything he could in the two backpacks he owned. Something told him he wouldn’t be needing his homework for biology.  Ethan stowed everything he could before moving to his dad’s room. He didn’t feel like anything. He didn’t know where his dad is, how his mom found them, why it had to be while he wasn’t home, or that his mom never changed.

But then he stopped… His dad is at work right now right? Ethan checked his phone and realized that he was. He furrowed his eyebrows as he realized he had to make a decision. Picking up his father’s sunglasses and putting them on, Ethan opened his window and ran. He could call his dad later. His safety was important and he knew that. 

Once he got to a populated area, the mall, he pulled out his phone and called his dad.

“Hello, this is Remy Sanders speaking.”

“Dad… my mother is at the house and she has a gun. Please don’t come home.” Ethan pleaded, trying to keep his voice neutral to blend in. “I left unscathed but had to leave all our stuff. Is it time to file a restraining order or?”

His father’s voice shook. They were talking about a woman that abused both of them and left them with permanent scars and memories. He let out a sad sigh saying, “I don’t know how much that will do. Just try to get somewhere safe to stay and we can figure a legal thing out, okay?”

“Okay, I love you, dad.” Ethan whispered.

“I love you too, Ethan.”

Ethan breathed out and started walking around, eventually finding his way to the pet shop they had in the mall. He shrugged and walked in to admire the cats. When he did, however, he saw Patton Hart eyeing a labrador. How convenient. He walked over and crouched down beside him. “Wow, that dog is almost as cute as you.”

“Oh!” Patton yelped, falling over slightly which startled the job. “Hey, Ethan! What’s going on?”

‘My abusive and transphobic mom is back, thanks for asking.’ he thought but instead, he said, “I’m better, now that you’re here. The day was already getting so dull without you, I could hardly bear the thought of leaving you for… two hours. I am much delighted to be in your presence.” To emphasize that he was being melodramatic, Ethan put the back of his hand to his head and fell into Patton’s lap.

Patton giggled. “You’re so silly.” But it stopped as he pulled Ethan up to make eye contact with him. “But... I know you’re lying. You don’t have to tell me what’s going on but you don’t have to pretend you’re being happy all the time. According to my friends, I should stop doing that, so maybe you shouldn’t do that either.”

“Wow, way to ruin my facade,” Ethan grumbled, getting up of the pet store floor and being hoisted up by Patton. “You’re right… There’s something really wrong today. But I’m not telling you until it turns out okay.” He shoved his hands into his hoodie pocket. “I have a favor.”

“Yeah, sure. What’s up?” Patton looks scared. Dating a person for less than a day and already venting about personal things? Nice… 

“Can I stay at your place tonight? My house is… unable to be used for the time being.” Ethan looked down. It sounds inherently wrong but he knew that his dad wanted him to be safe until it’s dealt with. “Not to do anything, I’m just not… Nevermind. I just can’t go home right now.”

Patton blinked. “Yeah, of course. We can’t tell my mom that we’re dating but I do have a king bed so it can be sort of like a sleepover! Sleepovers are so much fun… You can bake and paint nails- do you want to paint your nails with me!! I even have yellow-”

The blond kept ranting about sleepovers while they walked to his car. Ethan silently followed with a smile on his face. Maybe if he didn’t mention his mother it would all be okay. Once they started driving cute positive songs played from Patton’s playlist. Ethan didn’t understand a lot of stuff, his life and situation was a mess, but he understood that at the very least… he cared for Patton and trusts him. Maybe one day it would grow more than that, even if he couldn’t deal with love for the time being.

Taglist:

@save-me-oh-dream-of-mine @god-im-bored @thebluelotus12 @omgsomeonesomewhereonearth @prismturtle @xsugarrushx @somenarrator @lumina-universe @ravenwashere1776 @just-call-me-nemesis

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Masterpost Of Roman And Logan’s Dark Strange Son Arcs One And Two

Pairings: Romantic Logince, Platonic Loginceit/Roloceit, Platonic Moxiety, Romantic Remceit/Sleepceit, Romantic Anxceit, Romantic Sleepxiety, Romantic Remxieceit/Sleepxieceit (Remy/Vigril/Deceit), Romantic Patmile, Past Malceit (Deceit/Malice(OC), Despceit (Deceit/Despair(OC).

Summary: Roman and Logan accidentally adopt a snake son just simply to spite Patton.

Total Word Count: 17, 395

Characters: Deceit Sanders, Roman Sanders, Logan Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Patton Sanders, Remy Sanders, Emile Picani (only mentioned), Thomas Sanders (briefly, usually only mentioned, no speaking roles), Malice Sanders (OC), Despair Sanders (OC), Apathy Sanders (OC), Insomnia Sanders (OC), Rebel Sanders (OC), Loyalty Sanders (OC).

Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit, Trust Issues, Eating Disorders, Food, Past Relationships, Past Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, Trauma, Non-Consensual Body Modification (mild), Divorce, Adoption, Manipulation, Emotional Manipulation, Tattoos, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder- PTSD, Flashbacks, Past Rape/Non-Con, Anxiety Attacks, Muteness, Misunderstandings, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Fainting, Near Death, Kidnapping, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Abuse, Domestic Violence, Chid Murder, Blackmail, Shock, Forced Marriage, Grooming, Corruption, let me know if I should add anything else.

Notes: Bold like this are lies. Anything like ‘this’ is someone’s thoughts. Anything like ‘this’ is ASL. Some of them have memes instead of line breaks because my line breaks wouldn’t work.

The full story on ao3 here

Arc One: Accepting Deceit

Chapter 1: Well, I Can Be Petty If You Can Be Dismissive

Chapter 2: Spider Forest Meeting

Chapter 3: Gaining Trust And New Places

Chapter 4: Sunny Days Ahead

Chapter 5: Our Past And Our Future

Chapter 6: Honeybee and Fruitbat

Chapter 7: Our Past Does Not Define Us

Chapter 8: I’m Breaking And Falling Apart

Chapter 9: All That’s Left

Chapter 10: If I Can Save You, I Will

Arc Two: Saving The Dark Sides

Chapter 11: Take Back What’s Mine

Chapter 12: Ghosts Of The Past

Chapter 13: Not Without You

Chapter 14: The Things We’ve Lost To The Darkness

Chapter 15: Dark, Light, And Grey

Chapter 16: Waiting Game

Chapter 17: Subconscious

Chapter 18: Pieces Of Us

Chapter 19: Rewrite The Stars

Chapter 20: Just Keep Breathing

[loveceit]

Send a prompt?

Ships that will gain my attention (current faves in italics): Roceit, Sleepceit, Dukeceit, Thomceit, Anxceit, Sleepxiety, Dukesleep, Roman/Deceit/Remus*, Remileceit, Sleepxietyceit, Intruloceit, Sleepceitmas, Thviceit, Roceitmas, Roman/Deceit/Virgil*, Intruloceitmas, Sleepxietyceitmas

*Roman and Remus sharing a boyfriend/Deceit dating both Roman and Remus *Roman and Virgil sharing a boyfriend/Deceit dating both Roman and Virgil

Will NOT Write:

pedophilia/big age differences

incest (looking at you, remrom)

vore

plotless porn/explicit smut

the “dark” sides being defaulted to villains/abusive

genderbent character/s

Unsympathetic or Abusive Roman

Unsympathetic or Abusive Remus

Unsympathetic or Abusive Deceit

Prinxiety

[chemically-imbalanced-romance]

Sleepceit Rival Beauty Store Workers

-Deceit only cares about sales because he needs money to leave his abusive home and Remy strives to make sure every customer leaves looking fucking fabulous

-Deceit lures them into bad lighting and suggests them bad products so they keep having to come back, buying tons of shades and products etc until they finally find one that works, and Deceit’s all like “well that product works for most customers, so I just assumed, but I’m sorry! We’ll make sure we get you the right thing this time.”

-And Remy teaches them to swatch and then leave the store to see what it really looks like, and recommends only the best and most affordable products, and makes sure everybody embraces the look they like the most

-And one time Deceit is talking to a customer and Remy just comes up and hisses “He is evil, don’t listen to him!”

-It ends up a race for who can get to the customers first

-They definitely end up almost getting fired because people are just like “I cannot handle this DRAMA”

idk what this is it just came to mind idkidk

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Masterpost Of Roman And Logan’s Dark Strange Son Arc One

Pairings: Romantic Logince, Platonic Loginceit/Roloceit, Platonic Moxiety, Romantic Remceit/Sleepceit, Romantic Anxceit, Romantic Sleepxiety, Romantic Remxieceit/Sleepxieceit (Remy/Vigril/Deceit), Romantic Patmile, Past Malceit (Deceit/Malice(OC).

Summary: Roman and Logan accidentally adopt a snake son just simply to spite Patton.

Total Word Count: 11, 664

Characters: Deceit Sanders, Roman Sanders, Logan Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Patton Sanders, Remy Sanders, Malice Sanders (OC, only mentioned), Emile Picani (only mentioned), Thomas Sanders (briefly, usually only mentioned, no speaking roles).

Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit, Trust Issues, Eating Disorders, Food, Past Relationships, Past Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, Trauma, Non-Consensual Body Modification (mild), Divorce, Adoption, Manipulation, Emotional Manipulation, Tattoos, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder- PTSD, Flashbacks, Past Rape/Non-Con, Anxiety Attacks, Muteness, Misunderstandings, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Fainting, Near Death, let me know if I should add anything else.

Notes: Bold like this are lies. Anything like ‘this’ is someone’s thoughts. Anything like ‘this’ is ASL. Some of them have memes instead of line breaks because my line breaks wouldn’t work.

The full story on ao3 here

Arc One: Accepting Deceit

Chapter 1: Well, I Can Be Petty If You Can Be Dismissive

Chapter 2: Spider Forest Meeting

Chapter 3: Gaining Trust And New Places

Chapter 4: Sunny Days Ahead

Chapter 5: Our Past And Our Future

Chapter 6: Honeybee and Fruitbat

Chapter 7: Our Past Does Not Define Us

Chapter 8: I’m Breaking And Falling Apart

Chapter 9: All That’s Left

Chapter 10: If I Can Save You, I Will