#actual puppy d'artagnan

[tatzelwyrm]

Honey, I bought us matching swords.

828 words of micro-fic for @freyalor (and the rest of the team.)

I know I’m not  @lustigs-maerchenland but I hope you gain some mild amusement out of this. D:

Inspired by this post.

“That was... not bad for a Cardinal.”

Actually, it had been amazing. A musketeer could hardly have defended himself better, but it was bad enough that, in his shock, any praise had passed d’Artagnan‘s lips at all. He was not going to sin even more by telling the truth.

 "I had been destined for a military career before my brother decided grey robes suited him better than purple ones." A smile flashed across Richelieu's face as he stepped over the dead man at his feet. It was just a little too wide, his face just a little too pale to convey confidence, but it hardly mattered, as the bloodied sword in his hand spoke a clear language.

 Even when caught off-guard the Cardinal was a man to be reckoned with.

 D'Artagnan watched as Richelieu produced a handkerchief the colour of his robes to wipe the blood of the shining blade. Red on red. The stains were invisible on the soft cloth.

 D'Artagnan had never seen Richelieu fight before. He certainly hadn't imagined it would look anything like that. And that sword… it was no ornamental piece, that much had been proven by the fight, the ending of which d'Artagnan had just been witness too. But even so, d'Artagnan would have imagined the Cardinal, one of the richest men in France, one to whom status meant so much, to carry a flashier sword.

 The sword he had cleaned looked elegant and well-balanced, but it was inornate, with a practical, fairly unremarkable swept hilt. It was something he'd expect to see in the musketeers' garrison, not in the hands of a prince of the Church and the First Minister of Frace.

 No –he was sure the sword looked like one he had actually seen in the garrison before.

 "You see, I have everything under control," Richelieu said. If his hands shook as he returned his sword to its sheeth, d'Artagnan noticed it only because his eyes were glued to that hilt. Could it be—?

 "And you had better help up your friend."

 Aramis was already mostly back on his feet by himself, pressing a handkerchief onto the lower half of his face that rapidly stained with blood from his knows. By mere chance the musketeers had stormed into the Cardinal's rooms the moment the Cardinal's attacker had been retreating back towards the door. Aramis had caught a mighty blow to the face moments before Richelieu had skewered the man.

 The bruising was going to look interesting.

 Aramis waved d'Artagnan away when he offered a hand. A quick look confirmed although Aramis would be attracting more women over the next few days and weeks if he wore a sack over his head rather than show his face, he seemed fine.

 Above the stained handkerchief, Aramis' eyes travelled from the dead body on the office floor to the Cardinal and back to the body, and d'Artagnan felt fully justified to mouth "did you see that?" at his friend.

 Just at that moment a pair of Red Guards barged into the room, followed by Captain Treville, sword in hand.

 D'Artagnan's eyes bulged when he realised exactly why he thought he had seen Richelieu's sword before. The blade, the guard, the hilt. To judge by Aramis' confused look, either his injury was actually worse than either of them had assumed and he was concussed, or he was seeing it too.

 "You're late, Captain." At the other side of the room Richelieu puffed himself up. He had both hands on the hilt of his sword, no doubt to hide the last vestiges of his agitation from his rival.

 Looking at that hilt again…

 "I am sorry. Fortunately, d'Artagnan and Aramis were quicker. I sent them the moment we realised what Caillois was up to."

 "They, too, were late."

 Treville turned towards d'Artagnan. He did not look happy.

 "Caillois was already here when we arrived. Luckily, the Cardinal was able to fight him off."

Immediately, Treville's expression darkened. D'Artagnan didn't blame him. Knowing that the Cardinal had done their job for the musketeers was embarrassing.

 "You fought him off?" Treville was halfway into the room before he could control his outrage.

 "Yes." A coy smile had stolen itself onto the Cardinal's lips.

 Treville growled.

 D'Artagnan didn't need to hear another word to know that it was time for him and Aramis to go.

 "The Cardinal and I will discuss what steps need to be taken regarding Caillois. In private."

 Even the Red Guards retreated before the Captain's glare.

 D'Artagnan offered a hand to steady Aramis, who refused. Looking back as he closed the door behind him, he saw Treville raise a hand to the Cardinal's shoulder. He thought he saw Richelieu tremble then.

 He did not see anything beyond that. He didn't hear the comforting words that were spoken, and he didn't hear Richelieu's protest:

 "Will you calm down? I am unhurt, and I promise I will not criticise your choice in gifts again – soon."

[hanaasbananas]

Okay hear me out: a proper adaptation of Ella Enchanted with Luke Pasqualino as Char. I mean:

Look!

At!

Him!

Bonus points if they can get Tamla Kari for Ella

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

You've got SO MANY intriguing WIPs that I couldn't just choose one x) Can I get to know about "Vandermeer returns", "Aramis reveal" and/or "Musketeer puppies" pwetty pwease?

Mwahahah. So, you know about the Vandermeer returns. Essentially, weird space stuff sends Vandermeer on La Sirena, and feels ensue - namely, Picard and Alonzo are forced to confront the fact that they are kinda terrible dads. Hugs all around. Q may or may not have been involved.

Musketeers puppies... Well, Tréville finds a big dog, a little puppy and two cats in the Inseparables’ rooms. It’s just pure fluff for them a big headache for him.

The Aramis reveal is my favorite. So, in Anime Sanjushi, a cutesy Japanese adaptation from the 90′s, Aramis is... a woman. As in, a very beautiful, very feminine woman named Renée, who’s pretending to be a dude so she can avenge her dead fiancé. Treville knows, but Porthos and Athos *never find out* even though we know from like... episode 4 out of 52. That fandom is ridiculously tiny, but dammit, I want mah angsty reveal! So there, basically it’s a post series AU where she takes a knife to the ribs and isn’t well enough to patch herself up, as she usually does, and Athos is with her. 

Here, have a snippet of each (except I’m terrible at snippets so they’re actually a bit too long, oops). 

Vandermeer comeback:

Q, who had lived billions of years and had the IQ and memory that went along with quasi-omnipotence and immortality, had also forgotten Jean-Luc. It sounded unbelievable even to him. Q loved humans. They were the most fun he’d had in forever (quite literally), especially their puny, righteous, headstrong starship captains. And Jean-Luc Picard had always been his favorite. But to a Q, an absence of several dozens of Standard Federation years was little more than slip of the mind, the blinking of the eyes that preceded a snap of the fingers in sudden remembrance.  

 It was a question of scale. Proportionally, Picard’s neglect was the greatest, and it thus vexed Q to no end to realize that Jean-Luc had banished him from his mind. It was fortunate for him that he remembered their friendship in that particular century, and not a thousand years hence.

 Musketeer-puppies:

"… Aramis?" Treville wondered aloud. 

Had somebody trained those creatures as well? The small feline tilted its head and meowed again, proudly. Treville dragged a hand across his face. There was no way. 

"D'Artagnan?" He called. 

The puppy barked enthusiastically.

Good God, what in the devil. 

"Porthos?" Treville tried, feeling terribly stupid.

The huge bear of a dog gave a friendly woof, perking up. That only left… 

"… Athos?" 

The grey cat's head snapped in his direction and its eyes narrowed. Its tail flicked stiffly, claws peeking from beneath the fluffy fur of its front paws. 

Good Lord.

Treville closed his eyes for a second, for fear that they would pop out of his skull. Sacré putain de bordel de merde. Either this was the work of an absolute madman who had studied the mannerisms of Athos, Porthos, Aramis and d'Artagnan for months and managed to drill them into savant beasts, or he had a huge, gigantic, monumental problem to deal with. 

Only one way to find out. 

"Do you understand me?" Treville asked, the voice in the back of his head wondering how the hell his three best men always managed to bring him to unheard of levels of stupidity and ridiculousness.

Aramis reveal:

Aramis huffed a small laugh – still impaled by the knife, mind you – wincing when it pulled on the muscles of his abdomen. 

"And a feather bed and a hot bath too, and maybe even some music? I do not need to be coddled," he said as Athos was retrieving his water skin and untying his sash, preparing for the gruesome task of removing the offending weapon. 

"You love hot baths," Athos pointed out, arching an eyebrow. 

Aramis was certainly the cleanest soldier in all the regiment, his hair never matted or uncombed and his clothes smelling like lemon and lavender, from the Parisian laundresses' favored scented soaps. Aramis smiled good humoredly, watching Athos without only faint  – and quite warranted – apprehension.

"I'm still a soldier. Just pull that out and bring me back to the garrison, I'll be fine." 

What? 

"What?" Athos blinked. "Aramis, you have a knife sticking out of your stomach. Paris is still half a day's ride away. Stop speaking nonsense."

[lokomotives]

Demopup AU

(Edited for a few reasons)

Stranger Things Au where instead of just the one slug; the characters accidentally find a whole litter of demodogs and takes them in like they’re a box of sharp alien kittens.

The Party think that they should exterminate the demodogs in case they get bigger/more dangerous but Dustin convinces them to leave the pups alone until they’re big enough. The Adults are Not Fine with this and the pups are relocated to a confined area (a barn most likely) for the time being.

Dr Owens gets involved, and the pups get fitted with chips to track their locations + maybe incapacitate them if they ever get violent (which is hopefully never). Having the pups around also gives the Laboratory a clear warning if a gate is ever acting up - as they get really antsy and violent towards anything Mind Flayer-related.

The little dudes end up growing Really Slowly unlike in the show - it did take them almost a year to turn from slug -> tadpole, so the evolution into Tadpole -> Demodog would take even longer. Without the possession of the Mind Flayer; it might take them decades to go all the way to adult Demogorgons.

They all get named after Three Musketeer characters;

“D'Artagnan/Dart” stays the same, but he is distinctly “the runt” of the pups. Has a light grey “tuxedo” pattern. Thinks of Dustin as his pack brother. Mews survives in this Au as Dart meets her very early, and Mews scratched the sh-t out of him - so Dart (and by extension the rest of the litter) is terrified of cats. Dart has the biggest sweet tooth of the pups and still loves nougat, though it’s becomes a rare treat after Steve takes control of the pups’ diet.

Steve: “Look, chocolate is bad for dogs and cats - and it’s barely good for humans as is.”

Dart: “disappointed whine!”

“Athos” is the Leader of the pups and tends to nip at them when they get rowdy. Is a typical molt grey with dark speckles. Mimics the kids the most. Follows Joyce around like a little shadow. After a while of being around the Party; Athos catches on that Will is Not Fine, and starts acting like his service animal. Athos can tell when Will is “glitching” and grounds him by jumping up on him. Bob Newby accidentally finds Athos at the Arcade, stuck in a cup of cola, and brings him to the Party thinking that they’re doing an experiment about frogs.

Bob: “Ain’t he a charming little tadpole?”

Athos: *chirps followed by licking Bob’s nose*

The Party: O_o

“Porthos” is the chubbiest and greediest of the pups. Likes chewing on things for fun and cuddling to show affection. Keeps his dark coloration and yellow spots even after molting into a pup. Porthos was still in the pumpkin fields when Hopper caught him and the sheriff was Confused as heck by the little critter.  Porthos is Hopper’s favorite ever since he managed to teach the pup to fetch the newspaper. However now “Porty” thinks “newspaper = free eggs and bacon” so Hopper has lost many a sandwich to this pup.

Hopper: “Porty- Porty! Down boy! No! This is mine! You already had breakfast! No more for you!”

Porthos: *whine* and *boof*

Aramis has a slight “mouth-petal” deformity that makes his petals heart-shaped. Because of this, they have to keep a close eye on his teeth in case they start hurting him. Enjoys being groomed/preened. Was the last to be found, as he spent the majority of his time just vegging out in a pond until his brothers started calling out for him. Is particularly attached to Nancy. Has a pinkish tinge to his skin. Is able to mimic synthetic noises much like a parrot, and in particular loves singing noises he's heard on TV.

Mike: *trips and falls on the rug*

Aramis : *tuba Waaaaaamp*

Nancy: *indecipherable laughter*

Eleven is extremely cautious around the pups, but her fears are quelled a bit as the pups all run up to greet her happily like excited puppies. Porthos in particular ends up as her loyal pet - the fact that the pup barely has any teeth and is too fat to chase her is a bonus.

Steve sees Dustin feeding the pups chocolate and is like: “No! It might be bad for them!” and goes out of his way to get like Actual Food for them. This of course causes rumors around Hawkins about why Harrington is buying baby formula but Steve doesn’t care. Steve does care (but not shocked) when the babey demodogs think he’s their mom, and now he has to teach them to hunt once they’re big enough to run around the paddock at night.

The pups are Extremely Protective of their family and will kick the Mind Flayer’s butt if it tries sniffing about Hawkins. Good heavens once they evolve into fully grown Gorgons.

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

d'artagnan, treville, and koriand'r from titans? (which i've never seen but her hair is beautiful and also i appreciate the name)

d’Artagnan

How I feel about this character: i love that d’artagnan wholly, and without any evidence of an uneasy split between the two selves, occupies the role of ‘archetypal hero’ and ‘incorrigible little shit’. he is brave, and romantic, and loyal to a fault, but he also has a casual, often flexible relationship with his principles when he really, really wants something. he can be conniving, deceptive, and entirely too comfortable with scaring the living shit out of anybody enemy-adjacent as long as it gets him closer to his goal. the source material leaned into this irony more, but it’s not difficult to see that edge to him on the show. it’s not even something he’s even conscious of, which makes him very entertaining to watch, and honestly makes me long to see more of his story.i was going through some of my old meta posts about d’artagnan and here’s one from 2015 that kinda sums up all this waffle:he’s such a little shit. and he’s perfect for the inseparables because i don’t think there’s any other way to get their attention and their friendship than to stomp into their midst, threaten to kill one of them, roll your eyes at their plans, act entitled to their histories within months of knowing them, signing up for missions without a thought about what they would actually entail,  and just being stupidly brave enough through the whole thing that the resulting smugness is more endearing than irritating.this guy kills without compunction yet has legions of people calling him ‘puppy’. how is he not a little shit.I LOVE HIM.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: EVERYBODY. essentially my musketeers manifesto.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: porthos + d’artagnan makes me swoon in any iteration.

My unpopular opinion about this character: i know he got a lot of shit for some of his actions in s2 and while he deserved some of it, he did not deserve the kind of unchecked vitriol that fandom spewed about him then. the facts speak for themselves.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: there were at least a couple of interesting inflection points in his character arc that sadly went unexplored: when bonacieux died in 2.07 and ‘cursed’ him and constance with his dying breath; and when he had to kill the mentally ill veteran he’d been trying to save all episode in s3. he ends both episodes in genuine pathos, seemingly at a crossroads, but by the next he seems to have forgotten all about it. it could also explain why it felt like d’artagnan grew so little in s3.

Treville

How I feel about this character: i tend to have a vague, low-simmering affection for treville most of the time, but the times that he’s most interesting is when he’s more... well, morally suspect. like the time he essentially used his regiment as a pawn in his protracted war with the cardinal, or the whole savoy fiasco, or even his efforts to keep porthos’ past a secret. also i just like to refer back to this post i made a long time ago whenever i’m asked to articulate my thoughts on treville.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: i see the potential in richelieu/treville, but i haven’t really given a lot of thought to shipping treville

My non-romantic OTP for this character: i really like the dynamics between athos and treville. i don’t think treville was entirely accurate with his judgment of athos’ temperament as a leader, but i think he was willing to take the chance anyway because he saw, perhaps clearer than most, athos’ compassionate heart. 

My unpopular opinion about this character: i don’t honestly find him as interesting as the rest of fandom??? *shrugs*

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: it’s a great pity that richelieu had to leave at the end of the first season. i do think his dynamic with treville made treville a lot more interesting and it would’ve been cool to see that evolve.

Koriand’r

How I feel about this character: what i really love about what titans has done with kory is subvert the ‘born sexy yesterday’ trope. they could’ve so easily had her perform this naive, what-are-these-human-customs role, but kory is different. she’s alien, sure, and curious about this world that she’s landed on, but she’s also smart and adaptable, and oftentimes far more well-adjusted than the earthlings around her. and i love how the show lets her be alien twice over--in the first season she has amnesia and is alien to herself, and that’s just a really interesting layer to her characterisation.besides, she is badass, and compassionate, and funny, and all-around beautiful, inside and out. and yes, her hair is great.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: DICK GRAYSON. despite the sorry lack of together-time in s2 they still have crackling chemistry. i also like kory/donna and kory/faddei.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: kory really connected with rachel and conner wrt their feelings of ‘otherness’ and i hope both of those relationships are explored further from hereon.

My unpopular opinion about this character: i mostly agree with the show’s decision to have her separate from the rest of the titans in s2. i know it was frustrating, but oftentimes her relationships with the others devolve into her providing succour and doing most of the emotional labour, and that’s not fair on her or the others.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: that said, i wish there’d been more focus on her, or just more screen time in general. still all the signs are pointing to exactly that in s3, so i’m optimistic. :)

( give me a character to break down! )

[cas-kingdom]

Four years

Hey, here’s a little something for you. :) 

Athos sat next to the fire. It was late and he was tired. But he couldn’t go to sleep. He had his arms crossed in front of his chest, his head tilted back and his eyes more closed than open. But he couldn’t sleep. Porthos had long retreated to their shared room, tired and emotional from the day. d'Artagnan had to reunite with Constance. But Athos was here, needed nowhere else. He was seated next to the fire and he was at peace. His eyes were fixed on the sleeping form of his dearly beloved friend. 

Aramis looked like a puppy, his head lying on his arms on the table. He was sleeping so soundly. Athos couldn’t take his eyes off his friend. He was afraid that he would lose him again if he so much as closed his eyes for only a few seconds. 

Four years. Four years had passed and Aramis’ beard had small patches of grey woven into it. Four years had passed and Aramis’ muscles seemed even stronger than before. Four years had passed and they both had grown older. And still. When Athos looked at Aramis, it was as if they had never been apart at all. The love he had always felt for the younger man was unchanged. 

For now, Athos thougt, I won’t let any bad memories cross my mind. For now I will only be glad. Glad that my younger brother is back. 

Athos grinned when Aramis chuckled in his sleep. He always used to do that. Laughing out loud in the middle of the night, scaring the shit out of Porthos and him. 

All those good things were here now. All those good things Athos had to do without four years long. Aramis’ laughter, Aramis’ jokes, Aramis’ drunken dances and Aramis’ hugs. He had missed all of that.

The younger man moved suddenly, groaning and blinking confused. “Mhhh… did I fall asleep?”

Athos smiled and shook his head. “Not at all." 

Aramis groaned some more as he sat up before laughing quietly. "Shut up!" 

His teasing words made Athos’ smile grow wider. 

"Why are you still here?” Aramis asked and tried to open his eyes more - it didn’t really work. 

Athos looked at his friend thoughtfully for a few seconds, before answering. “I guess I’m just recovering." 

"From what?” Aramis tilted his head.

“Four years." 

That was answer enough. Aramis gulped and sniffed and for a second Athos thought he was going to cry. Then he did the opposite. He started laughing. First quietly and in a low voice. But he couldn’t stop anymore after he started. He bursted out in the most adorable laughing fit, hitting the table with his fists and holding his stomach, all in the effort to stop somehow. But he couldn’t. Athos watched the scene with a smirk on his face and enjoyed it. Aramis’ laughter was like a pillow for his war experienced soul. He didn’t want him to stop.

"I’m - I’m sorry!!” Aramis got out in between more laughter. 

“Don’t be.” Athos chuckled calmly. “This reminds me of good times.”

Those words actually made Aramis’ laughter die down a little. He chuckled some more, before he could speak again. “Good times.. you mean those times you tickled me half to death?”

Now it was Athos’ turn to bark out a laugh. He sat back more comfortably and made a meaningful gesture with his hands. “For example. Even though you did laugh much harder when I tickled you.”

Aramis giggled, obviously fond of the memory. That gave Athos’ heart a squeeze. He smiled affectionately at his younger friend.

“Well, you always knew my weakest spots.” Aramis shivered at the memory, making Athos laugh quietly. Quietly and threateningly.

“Oh, I still do." 

Aramis faltered. He looked up with sparkling brown eyes. Now, he was fully awake. "You… you wouldn’t dare…”

Athos narrowed his eyes at Aramis and sat up straightly. For a few seconds the two friends eyed each other. Then Aramis jumped off the bench with a laugh and tried to get to the door. Athos’ arms wrestled him to the floor within seconds. Before Aramis could catch another breaths, he was shaken by hearty, loud laughter as Athos’ fingers crawled over his ribcage. 

“NOOOOOOO!! AAHHAHATH!! DOHOOHON’T!!” Aramis was trying to curl into a tiny ball, as tiny as possible to shield his ticklish body from Athos’ skilled hands. But he was a tall man and offered enough ticklish skin as it was.

Athos sat down on Aramis’ lower back to hold him down and worked his way up to the tender spots under his arms. Aramis was ticklish from head to toes. Often enough had Athos woken his friend up by tickling a foot that had slipped out from underneath a blanket. Often enough had Athos teased Aramis with ticklish touches to the neck. And more than enough times had Athos reduced Aramis to a begging and shrieking mess in one sided tickle fights. He knew exactly where he had to tickle to get the best reactions from the younger musketeer. 

And the armpits were by far his favorite spots to tickle on him. All those times Porthos had held Aramis’ arms up to assist the tickle attacks in those spots. Aramis had laughed so hard that Athos had often been sure he would burst. But even without the torturous assist of Porthos, could Athos tickle that amazing laughter out of Aramis. He only needed to tease him a little.

“In four years I didn’t forget your weak spots, ‘Mis. But I did forget how many ribs you have. I’ll have to count them!" 

Aramis squealed with laughter when Athos started counting aloud and scratched in between the ribs as he went up and up and up. "NOHOHOH MOOHOHORE!! PLEHEHEASE!! IT’S TOOO MUHUHUCH!!" 

Athos chuckled and started scribbling over Aramis’s sides and lower back just to hear his friend squeal and shriek some more. "Too much you say? And I haven’t even tickled my favorite spot yet!" 

"nO NO NO NO NO NONOOHOHOHO!!” Aramis immediately shouted out with laughter and tried to pull his arms to the sides to take away the room that was left between his armpits and his biceps. But Athos’ knees were in the way. He couldn’t close the space. And it drove him crazy with anticipation as Athos started walking up his ribs again to get closer and closer to Aramis’ death spots.

“NOHHOOHO PLEHEHEHEASE DON’T TIIHIHICKLE THERE!! ATH!! ATH NOHOHOO!!" 

"Where?” Athos asked with a chuckle and remained at Aramis’ top ribs, poking them repeatedly. Aramis twitched and giggled under him. He was like the young seventeen year old boy Athos got to know all those years back and he was like the young 27 year old man he knew. Now he was 31 and he was still the kid Athos learned to love like a younger brother. 

“HAHAHAH STAHAHHAP!!!" 

"Oh, come on. Just a little bit.” Athos said in a soft voice and poked a bit higher, closer to Aramis’ armpits now. Aramis reacted like he was struck by lighting, before laughing even louder. 

“NOOOO!! NOOOHOHO PLEHEHEHEEASE!!”

“One…”

“AHAHAHATHOS!!!”

“Two…”

Aramis was squeaking again.

“Three!!”

When Athos’ fingertips scribbled underneath Aramis’ arms he jolted and shrieked and started laughing like a little boy. All fears and worries seemed to fall off of him and Athos too. And there was only laughter. Athos tickled the spots like he was caressing them, putting all his affection in the touch. Damn, he had missed these moments. Roughhousing with Aramis on the floor, when no one was there to judge him for it. He was a serious man, he wasn’t one to laugh a lot. But Aramis had a special place in his heart. And everyone knew it. d'Artagnan knew it and Porthos knew it. And Aramis knew it most of all. All advise given to him by Athos, he cherished. All the things he learned from him, he never forgot. 

And all those times Athos had tickled him to tears, he hold dear. Because he knew that it was a sign of Athos’ deeply felt affection. 

Despite that, at some point, the tickling became too much. Aramis started to wheeze with laughter. “PLEHEHHEEASE!! PLEHEHHEEEASE STAHHAHAAP!!" 

Athos chuckled and took his hands away, sitting back and clapping Aramis’ on the back. "What did I tell you?”

Aramis chuckled. “You definitely didn’t forget my weak spots." 

Athos climbed off of his friend with a smile and helped him to his feet. He looked tousled and tired. Adorable, really. Athos smirked and wrapped an arm around Aramis’ shoulder. "I think we should head to bed.”

“Agreed.”

They started walking to their shared room with Porthos, and Aramis smirked at Athos one more time. “Don’t you think for one second I forgot about your ticklish spots!!" 

"I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“When you least expect it, my friend, when you least expect it…" 

It was good to have Aramis back. 

CK: okay i was SO not expecting this. who are you, mysterious submitter-of-beautiful-fics??

seriously, this was amazing. thank you!!! :,)

[prinzenhasserin]

Fandom5K 2018

Dear Writer!

I had so much fun doing this exchange last year, and please don’t feel obligated to use my prompts. This letter is just in case you might want to poke at some more of my likes. Generally, I’m open to a lot, and will be happy with any rating from gen to explicit.

My AO3 account is here. My prompts are pretty ridiculous in places. That’s just how my mind works! Feel free to play them entirely straight, or subvert them to your hearts desire. I’m not so much a fan of darkfic, exceptions apply for hopeful/happy resolutions.

Feel also free to include other characters or OCs as side-characters, if they are necessary because of plot reasons. ❤️

(If this letter cribs a lot from my other letters, it’s because I’m lazy, and my likes don’t change around that much :D You can find some of my other letters under the exchange letter tag. I hope you have fun creating!)

Likes:

loyalty

odd couples!

found family, dysfunctional families that nevertheless love each other

historical stories for same-sex pairings that aren't unhappy but that fit with the society of the time (so like, spinster ladies living together; bachelors-for-life); I also like homophobia-free societies!

cultural differences! age differences! height differences!

heists, rescue missions

character driven narratives

dragons, fairy tales, magical realism, urban fantasy

Space AUs

competent characters

people not realising they’re the most competent at their job/hobby

people failing their way to success

happy endings, earning your happy ending, open yet hopeful endings

cynical humour

mutual pining

everything is better in suits, corsetry, fancy dresses

crossdressing

Identity shenanigans (secret identities, mistaken identities)

Blatant Lies

Enemies becoming friends and/or lovers

outsider POV

epistolary, poetry, unusual narrative formats

orange/blue morality (that is, not entirely human morality); grey/grey morality

non-verbal expressions of affection

Kinks I’m always down for:

wall sex

shifting power dynamics

semi-public sex

lots of foreplay, drawn out orgasms, edging

desperate sex, drunk sex, we-just-can’t-help-it!sex, sex for life-affirming

sex toys

sex toys in public (though I get embarrassed if someone else notices)

DNWs:

infidelity in mentioned pairings

suicide

permanent character death

Yuri!!!on Ice

Pairing: Lilia Baranovskaya/Okukawa Minako

Freeform Tags: Getting Together, Established Relationship, Interpersonal Drama, Smut, Character Development

How do these two know each other? Did they meet when Minako was a shining new ingenue? Did Lilia feel like her position was threatened, or did she teach her replacement? Was Minako perhaps the reason for Lilia/Yakov's divorce, or was she perhaps Lilia's rebound? (I would love if there was a presence of time and place in this, if the characters background would be a strong drive for whatever they are doing, but PWP would be great too)

…they are my favourite pairing coming from Yuri!!! on Ice, because they seem so utterly competent, and have amazing life journeys, and yet they are only hinted at in the series.

I know I don’t want infidelity, except here I wouldn’t mind if Lilia and Yakov are married still (they could be separated, or just in an open relationship, or on their way to get a divorce, too)

Minako seducing an older, more experienced Lilia? Lilia seducing her bright-eyed ingenue

Minako and Lilia competing for the same roles, and admiring each other’s techniques without being able to admit it.

Or, during canon, applying their rivalry indirectly by competing with their skaters?

Les Trois Mousquetaires | The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

Pairing: d’Artagnan/Athos; d’Artagnan/Jussac

Freeforms: Action/Adventure, Getting Together, Canon-Style Plot, AU - Canon Divergence, Fix-it fic

d’Artagnan/Athos

d'Artagnan pays so much attention to Athos, and his many swings of temperament, and he has such a crush on him! It's hard to tell if he wants to be him, or bang him, and I really really want the latter. When Athos says, he's sworn off of women, what he means, he's only interested in men, right? right? that is to say, I'd love canon divergence, where they end up together (and please, with the possibility of longterm happiness) If you want to set this before Milady's appearance, sure! If you want to set this after Milady's appearance, I would love to see the dramatic fallout of Milady flirting with d'Artagnan, or hurt/comfort after Athos kills his wife the second time.

Treville makes them root out the Cardinal’s spies out of his ranks! They have to spend a lot of time close together; or Treville makes them go on duty together, because Athos is very experienced, and that’s not the only thing he’s experienced with ;)

d’Artagnan needs help managing the estate the King grants him, and Athos lends a helping hand 

I like a good helping about catholic guilt, but not just specifically about homosexuality. 

d’Artagnan/Jussac

Then, there's also Jussac--and their rivalry is set up so well! The longstanding Cardinal's Guard against the new impulsive Musketeer? Perfection. And then Jussac disappears, and it made me so sad. So, rival hate!sex? Are they assigned to protect someone and have to arrange themselves with each other? Are they banding together for a greater enemy? Is one of them blackmailed for their sexuality, and they can only go to the other for help, because nobody is going to believe the gossip they have about the other? I'd prefer if the blackmail doesn't put emphasis on homophobia, just that the sexual behaviour was not socially acceptable.

They are wooing the same mistress. Because of reasons, they have to hide in her closet together, and the only reasonable recourse of action is banging each other. 

Foiling an assassination attempt? getting imprisoned together, because they duelled in public?

I'd also be game for a total AU! But please preserve the general fucked up character dynamics, because they are what I like about this canon.

Gokusen (Manga)

Pairing: Sawada Shin/Yamaguchi Kumiko

Freeforms: Canon-Style Plot, Humor, Mystery/Procedural, Smut, Slice of Life

I want to see Yankumi/Shin as a couple so badly--and I would like to see how they interact with the world. Will Shin become a Yakuza member to oppose his father? Will Yankumi be accused of using the highschool as a Yakuza front? Will she still call Shin to come and help her beat up people when he's a fancy lawyer? How will the other groups react to Yamaguchi's boy toy?

How does Shin convince Yankumi to have sex with him? (A wonderful fic I got was with plenty of bad yakuza movies, which :D :D :D but I am always open for more! Maybe Shin speaks to Kumiko’s competitive spirit? Maybe he asks her to spite the police commissioner, by doing it in his house? Maybe there is some heavy kissing because they are trying to escape thugs/police/Kumiko’s students?)  Is he getting kidnapped left and right before they actually get together because all and sundry already think they’ve been doing each other for years?

If they are already in an established relationship, how does Shin deal with Yankumi’s students (especially when one of them develops a crush)?

I’d be also super interested to see how other people view their relationship, like Shin’s father, Kumiko’s grandfather, the other yakuza groups, her students– or simply Kumiko and Shin setting out to fight an up-and-coming group of delinquents, rescuing kittens, or Shirokin, from an overzealous school commissioner?

I have no problems about depicting violence, or graphic criminal activities, but please no major crimes involving children.

Crossover Fandom

Pairings:  Elle Woods (Legally Blonde)/Cher Horowitz (Clueless); Jane Marple (Miss Marple)/Phryne Fischer (Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries); John Constantine (Hellblazer)/Severus Snape (Harry Potter)

Freeforms: Canon-Style Plot, Mystery/Procedural, Smut

Elle Woods/Cher Horowitz

I imagine them meeting at a charity dinner, wearing the same dress and insisting that the other wears it better. Or through a sorority donation drive, where Elle lets her car get washed by girls in Bikini, and then they start flirting. Or, if you want to use the other Legally Blonde movie--how about Elle Woods running for Senate, and meeting Cher during a workshop for foreign policy? I'd love to see either one of them running for office, too.

I am here for all the tropes: does one of them have an ex who invited them to their wedding, and they really need a date? high school reunion? stranger at a bar? 

Also excellent would be: Elle does criminal law, Cher is in charity work, and they need to solve this embezzlement case.

But I’m also here for the porn, because that would also be amazing. Or like, buying a house together. Getting married. Deciding to adopt a puppy together.

Jane Marple/Phryne Fisher

Do they meet during the war? We know Phryne was an ambulance driver, but maybe Jane's code division was a euphemism for spy work, and Phryne has to get her across enemy terrain? Would also love a story later in their lives, where they visit each other to solve murders and gossip about life.

teaming up to solve a murder!

teaming up to drive a poor inspector up the wall

teaming up during the war, codebreaking! and seeking comfort with each other

they went to girl’s school together, and now have to relive old glory days!

definitely here for Phryne and Jane being each other��s lesbian experience

John Constantine/Severus Snape

It's a pairing with everything I ever wanted: So much inferiority complex wrapped in a shabby facade with too much bravado and not enough sense of when to back down, and they're both such delightful fuck-ups and it's glorious. I mean, this is definitely not the first evil person who John Constantine wanted to fuck, and it's nice that he sometimes helps out with the more structured magic. AU's are great, as long as they both keep their magic, and their general personality. Would also read a Severus-Snape-Lives!AU in which he's resurrected because the devil didn't want him, or whatever, or he goes to the US to hide with a more Legends of Tomorrow!Constantine. Basically, anything is good.

they’d be so glorious together! I’m here for all the fucked-up-ness this pairing can generate

hatesex? sex pollen? :D i hate repeating myself, but really, anything would be great; I’d love a AU in which John convinces Severus to not join the death eaters because they are all wankers anyway

or a AU in which Severus survives and joins John on madcap adventures trying to survive eldritchs horrors

or like, a one-night-stand that ends in Severus hearing the prophecy and defecting from Lord Voldemort

also, I’d love if they’d bonded up over their chavness, or something. really, anything would be great

Original Work

Freeforms: Smut, Getting Together, Mystery/Procedural, Action/Adventure, Humor

17th Century French King's Male Musketeer/17th Century French Cardinal's Male Guard

The Musketeer/Cardinal’s Guard request comes from my love of 'enemies to lovers' and 'love across enemy lines'. The real life feud between the two corps is a great premise for this! I'm more interested in the adventures they have. How do they resolve it? Do they end up getting new jobs, or succeed in ending the feud, or forever pretend to hate each other? 

(See also my prompts for d’Artagnan/Jussac for a more specific pairing of this dynamic!)

Some interesting prompts:

The King requests that they work together to... guard a diplomat? foil an assassination? root out some bandits?

They start wooing the same woman, but then it turns into some strange kind of one-up-manship, and then it turns into gay chicken, and then it turns into a proper relationship and when they retire they get a cottage in the woods somewhere

they hunt down the thief who stole the King’s jewels and happen to get into a storm. Luckily, there’s an inn not far from where they are, but when they get there, there’s only one bed...

Art Thief/Museum Curator

This is also an excellent request for enemies to lovers! Do they meet during a casing of the joint, all the while the museum curator thinks the art thief is just a normal art appreciator? Or the Thief becomes an art thief because the museum curator is bemoaning that more and more of the art disappears into private collections far away from the public eye?

I’m here for all the identity shenanigans! maybe the curator realises their new lover is a thief, and they deliberately talk about paintings that they’d like to see, and fake incredulity when they’re suddenly rediscovered?

fake dating that turns into real feelings?

I have no preference for gender combination! I’d love this dynamic absolutely anywhere, anytime. Singapore 2018? Paris 1940? New York 1920? Set in space? 

Or like, the museum curator finds them in the act of stealing, and is more upset about how they keep handling the priceless art than the actual stealing (it belongs to the jerkass major who cut funding for the arts, you see)

Master Thief/Put Upon Art Restorer Just Trying To Do Their Job FFS Steal This One Next Week

Basically, the same prompts as above apply! I’m very interested in this rivalry! How does it play out? Does the Thief only steal sanctioned paintings? Does the art restorer understand what kind of power they have?

Is the Thief trying to slowly seduce the art restorer by getting them “new” paintings to restore, and the art restorer is just... very done with this.

perhaps the thief keeps faking these very elaborate paintings, and aging them with all sorts of techniques, and the art restorer is just, like “why would you do this to art?”

Female Mobster/Woman Who Is Running Their Front As A Legitimate Business

I love the dynamic of scary person/person who is not afraid to talk shit about them -- and I can see the endless conflict there could be between the two of them. What is this Front? A restaurant? An orphanage? A charity organisation? Either one would be great, and need a lot of know-how, and the female Mobster can just suck it up and keep hauling in the crates, because they need this, dammit.

One gets kidnapped by rivals, and the other has to go in to save her

the mobster was just looking for someone to run the front-- they don’t need it to make any profit, since it’s just a front, but now it’s evolving into an actual business conglomerate, and all thanks to one woman--success is very attractive

Selkie Pirate Captain

Look, okay, I love Age of Sail, and I love fairytales. I just think the adventures of a pirate captain selkie could be super interesting!

Do they fret about the crew finding out about their secret? I’m very into found family tropes, and it would be very interesting to see how the crew reacts to the reveal. Perhaps they’ve known all along? And tried to protect their captain to the best of their abilities?

The best thing about selkie captains is that they are resistant to sirens, and they can always find the way home, in every storm

I’d read about them going treasure hunting! Or perhaps captain is after a Great White Whale and their life’s mission is to see it dead

would also read a shipfic! (heh)

[icryyoumercy]

She's bit me!

Thank you, Captain Obvious

[tatzelwyrm]

wtf - want to fight dtf - down to fight af - always fighting iagtfts - i am going to fight the sun

D’Artagnan - A Summary (x)

[tatzelwyrm]