#actually aj has facts

[messier51]

"no other planet in our solar system gets total solar eclipses" ok so i guess jupiter, saturn, uranus, and neptune are not planets anymore

y'all thought the iau was mean to pluto and yet here we are demoting all the gas giants too

[lochley]

idk what i want more the "i think we're gonna have to kill this guy" "damn" meme with londo and vir, or delenn and lennier.

[ashenberry]

I should check up on who’s on the chopping block for ref redesigns for this summer

[chmydarling]

[halalchampagnesocialist]

I won’t lie but I’m so sick of liberals on here saying you shouldn’t trust Al Jazeera as a source on Palestine when there are better ones. I’m sorry but Al Jazeera IS one of the better ones. It’s a well established fact that Al Jazeera can have awful, biased reporting when it comes to other issues or other countries, but on Palestine it’s great. Al Jazeera is one of the only news / media platforms that amplifies Palestinians. All its reporters are not only based in but are actually from where they’re reporting. Not to mention, it has multiple reporters on the ground in various parts of Palestine - in Gaza, in the West Bank, and in ‘48 (Israel). Al Jazeera does actually report what other news outlet say when it comes to Palestine too, it doesn’t obfuscate it like certain western media outlets.

Speaking of western media outlets, it’d be hypocritical to say don’t trust Al Jazeera when you probably get your reporting on Palestine from the New York Times or CNN amongst others. Those supposedly “independent” media companies which tow the US government line on Palestine and don’t question anything. So much of the reality on Palestine gets obfuscated by these outlets that they only report on things whenever israel is directly attacked. Al Jazeera on the other hand will report on daily occurrences in Palestine, not to mention publish analytical articles that analyse the occupation very closely.

Again, you may disagree with Al Jazeera’s positioning of things as well as questioning their motives (or Qatari gov to be more specific) etc and that’s fine! But to say they’re not the best source on Palestine when they’re one of the only ones amplifying Palestinian voices at a time when media reporting on israel from other outlets is absolutely dismal is ludicrous lol. As I said, I recognise AJ can have biased reporting on other issues, but just because an outlet has biased reporting on X issue, it doesn’t really cancel out the great reporting they may do on Y issue. I’m also aware that there are many other outlets who do great reporting on Palestine but AJ seems to have a decent sized audience in the English speaking world alongside its notably big audience in the Arabic speaking one.

It should also not be forgotten that Al Jazeera reporters Shireen Abu Akleh and Hamza Al Dahdouh were assassinated by israel while Hamza’s father Wael who is head of the AJ bureau in Gaza had his wife, grandson, and 3 of his children (including Hamza) killed by Israel due to their reporting, which means it counts for something.

[inbarfink]

Okay, I’ve been considering it for quite a bit and I think that if Tumblr existed in Japanifornia… most of us would probably not be aware of the series’ main characters.

Like, lawyers just don’t tend to be high-profile publicly-known figures. Even within True Crime communities or the coverage of high-public-interest cases, people don’t tend to focus on the lawyers as much more than a representative of the defendant and the legal system as a whole. And yeah, you can say this is just because real-life lawyers are Boring and if they did the kind of Bonkers Shit AA Lawyers do we would pay attention to them… but we do actually have textual evidence that Japanifornia treats lawyers not-too-differently than real life.

Mia’s murder, and probably the uncovering of all of Bluecorp’s dirty dealing, was highly talked about, but Phoenix’s actions in court went kinda ignored. And note that this is the case where Phoenix literally defended himself and broke the Demon Prosecutor’s five years winning streak, and that wasn’t enough to draw eyes to his part in this whole case. 

And that’s also generally consistent with how characters treat Phoenix throughout the rest of the games. By the AJ Trilogy era, it’s clear that Phoenix has made quite a name for himself… in the legal world. If you are yourself a lawyer or another sort of legal professional or just unusually interested in court proceeding, you know the name ‘Phoenix Wright’ 

But if you’re just a regular person who cares about the law the Regular Amount, you probably have no idea who this is.

So I’d guess most of Japanifornian Tumblr would probably be aware of a lot of the cases in the games, especially considering how many of them concern, like, corporate corruption and organized crime and legal corruption and international politics and the entertainment industry and other such stuff that makes it likely to get national/international news coverage. And also so many of them are so bizarre and wacky and are thus prime meme fodder…

But most people wouldn’t necessarily know the name of the lawyer the Nickel Samurai blackmailed to defend him after he ordered an assassin to kill the Jammin’ Ninja, or even how involved that lawyer actually was in Matt Engarde’s downfall.

But there would probably be a small mini-fandom of Tumblrina Lawyers and other legal nerds who are ABSOLUTELY obsessed with the WAA, and trying to collect any piece of info they can find about their adventures. 

(That’s also another aspect to consider, the general public in Japanifornia does not have full knowledge of everything we get to see in the game. News coverage of the smaller cases would be extremely minimal and very regional - and even the bigger cases probably won’t give you a full line-by-line record of everything that happened in Court. Apollo Justice was, like, the Biggest Phoenix Wright Stan in the Universe and he had very choppy and partial knowledge of the Gramarye Trial. We have to consider that even folks who are trying to keep track of the AA Lawyers in-universe would not get the full picture from the media. And that’s before we get into fake news and rumors.)

And meanwhile, the rest of Tumblr would probably treat that Fandom the same sort of bemused delight we give to, like, the extremely dedicated gimmick blogs. Like, you’d probably see less posts about Phoenix and Co. as you’d see posts memeing about the fact there’s a Tumblr Fandom for ‘some random law agency in Japanifornia’, they’d be like five thousands people in the notes going “There’s a Tumblr Fandom for WHAT? WHY IS THIS THE FIRST TIME I’M HEARING ABOUT THIS??” and then one person from the WAA fandom going “NO YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS IS THE GUY WHO UNCOVERED THE PHANTOM HE’S JUMPED OFF A BURNING BRIDGE ONCE YOU LITERALLY TALKED ABOUT A TRIAL HE DID YESTERDAY YOU JUST DON’T KNOW HE WAS INVOLVED”. 

Now, that’s all for the Defense Attorneys. The Prosecutors have a bit more publicity. I mean, Phoenix literally heard about Prosecutor Edgeworth on the news.

But also… I do think this publicity is highly regional. Like, Phoenix ended up stumbling on newspaper coverage of Miles because he lives in the same city as him. I’m guessing that most of the series’ Prosecutors are at least casually known not just to Legal Folks, but also generally to people within Los Angetokyo and people involved in Japanifornian Politics… but also not much outside of that sphere either. Again, the series does establish that they are not that well-known amongst laypeople even when they are famous amongst other lawyers

And are generally recognized by fellow legal professionals and journalists and people involved in criminal activity. So the situation with them won’t be that different than with the WAA, they might be a tad more high-profile, depending on how many Tumblr users are specifically from Japaniforina and wanna make memes about the local politics… but those who will get really invested in their misadventures won’t be that different from the kind of people who’d get really into Phoenix Wright. 

Klavier is the obvious exception. Like most Famous Lawyers, he’s actually primarily famous for something other than law. It’s just that in his case, instead of politics, it’s being a world-famous rock star. There’s plenty of textual evidence that the Gavinners are an actual household name and they’d probably have a pretty sizable Tumblr Fandom, but… well… while I assume any casual Gavinner fan knows that Klavier is also a Prosecutor, I’d guess only the insanely dedicated fans and the Haters looking for something problematic would actually start digging into the records of the cases he worked on. But then again, Tumblr does have a lot of insanely dedicated fans and Haters, so maybe Legal Misadventures Involving Klavier would be kinda mainstream on Japanifornia Tumblr.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

I think for all the discussions we have of "everyone hears the jokes and the piano; after that, they stop listening" surrounding Louis, we tend to still simplify his connection to the piano.

Yes, it's very cute that he sings Clementine a little song when they first meet, and it's very cute that he plays a little prank on her while "tuning" the piano. It's super cute that they carve their initials into the piano and Clementine carves a heart around them. It's mega cute that he names his song he wrote after her when she confesses her feelings. Louis playing Don't Be Afraid at the party is, in my opinion, one of the best moments in all of TFS.

But here's the thing: That piano is Louis' heart.

I don't mean to go all metaphorical on you, but I'm dead serious—the piano is Louis' heart, and when you think about his arc and his romance route with that in mind...?

That piano is his one comfort in a world where the dead walk. It's been with him from the beginning of the outbreak. We know from his backstory that Louis wanted to take singing lessons so he could be a real musician, and his father denying him of that was what set him off to be a "vindictive fuckhead." Louis never got those singing lessons, and it's a very real possibility that Louis taught himself how to play.

Sure, others could've taught him; we know Minerva was musically talented, perhaps she showed him a thing or two. But learning piano, or any instrument, is brutal even with professional guidance. It takes hours of practice until numbness wears fingertips raw; dedication to memorize every key and finger placement to make music pleasing to the ear; self-discipline to keep going through every fumble, every failure, every single cruel thought of self-doubt; intelligence and a creative ear to write his own songs.

And yet, it's severely under-appreciated by everyone. It's annoying. It's distracting. It's unimportant. It's an excuse for Louis to mess around and not do any real work. He doesn't have any actual talent. The music and the piano are brushed off, unheard.

Yet, Louis keeps playing. He keeps singing. He keeps making jokes.

Creating music, the one thing he wanted so badly as a kid that he destroyed his parents marriage, was possibly the greatest comfort he had... a welcome distraction to disassociate from the horror and death happening around him.

It's bittersweet, like a purpling bruise that you can't stop pressing on; it hurts, but there's something else below the pain. The piano is out of tune and it's something that brings him joy... but will always act as a constant reminder of who he was and what he did, why he's at Ericson to begin with.

We first meet him while he's playing; Louis' heart is exposed, but is it really? Is he playing to his true potential? Louis hides behind the mask of a charming, charismatic goof. It's what is expected of him, so he plays a silly song intended to poke and prod at Clementine, to gauge a reaction. That's something we see him do at multiple points in episode one. In fact, we can consider a majority of episode one to be like the song he's playing when we meet him; it's mostly cheery or fast-paced.

Louis is able to soothe AJ with his "alluring" music after the kid bit Ruby is an indication that the two of them will share a bond. Louis is a natural at communicating and bonding with the younger kids [another talent that's overlooked] so it's interesting that he praises AJ for being a natural at piano, as well.

But the song stutters just a bit when Louis and Clementine are in the woods together, though; "There's only one guarantee: this moment. That's the only you got, only thing any of us got. Might as well enjoy it." ...Only for Louis to compose himself and send her away.

It's only when Clementine has a gun in her face, held by Marlon, that the music isn't fun anymore; it's rainfall and thunder and the words "I thought you were more than that" sung through the wind in a melody only Louis can hear.

Then Marlon's dead. The song is over, and reality has arrived.

I've talked at length about Louis in ep2 and his vote in the past. It's one of the most compelling things about Louis' arc and romantic route. It's a tragic mistake driven by trauma and guilt. It's people simultaneously telling him to shut up and telling him to be angrier than he is. Telling him to stop burying his head in the sand when he's never been more aware of everything happening. It's AJ peering up at him with pleading eyes that Louis can't stand to look at. It's Clementine wrapping his heartstrings around her fingers and tugging just enough to hurt, but not break.

Louis missed Clementine. He says as much when Clementine admits she missed him first. I don't even know where to begin with that! I can think of no other way to describe it other than they are half agony, half hope over this... and if you get that reference, you get a gold star. I just- the ache, the tension, the conflicting feelings of finally having a quiet moment to talk but Louis not being ready yet.

Y'know how someone carved "you suck at playing" in the side of the piano? It's something you might not initially notice while playing the game, just as Louis' insecurities aren't apparent at first.. but they're carved in him; never fully healed, still scabbed and bleeding... Until Clementine offers him a bandage.

She won't clean the wound for him, but she'll be there. She'll help him figure out how to do it himself so he can heal. She'll listen to him, not belittle his feelings or pain. She'll make an effort to know his keys and notes and practice playing his song until she understands.

When Clementine chooses him to spend time with him, it's a mirror of their first time meeting... but this time, Louis plays something real: a song he wrote, one that I believe he crafted during the two week time skip... a song he wrote with Clementine on his mind, for better or worse.

If the piano is Louis' heart, he literally asks her to sit there and try to tune it, which ends up being a joke but I say she's already tuned your heart, my guy. It's there before them, changed in the warm candlelight. He plays for her and opens up about how no one actually listens, but Clementine did.

And remember, this is the night of the raid. They don't know it's coming, but they know it'll be soon. Louis understands that he could very well die, so what does he do? He carves his initial into the one thing he's always had, and he asks Clementine to do the same.

I'm sorry, how are we NOT more feral about this? Prior to this scene, the only thing we see carved into the piano, into Louis' heart, is an insult. This thing that Louis cares so deeply about, this instrument that's become so intertwined with who he is... he wants to leave his mark on it just in case he dies. A reminder that it was his and he belonged to it just as much. Something so important, and he asks Clementine to carve herself into his heart where no matter what, they will be immortalized together in this moment.

And when Clementine carves a heart around their initials? Yes, his reaction is very cute and that's great... but she's not ashamed of him, or her feelings for him. She wants everyone who looks upon his heart to know that. She tells him how she feels and Louis is so giddy, and warm, and he names the song after her and I am going to start biting anything that moves, I can't-

Oh, and let's discuss the party scene in episode three, shall we? Y'know, where the heart covered initials are on full display? Where Louis tells the story of why he was sent to Ericson to everyone?

Louis is so... vulnerable. Sincere. Ashamed of what he did. This is the exposed nerve, the one he was so afraid of showing Clementine but there it is... and she doesn't reject him. Sure, she can say it's fucked up if you choose to, but she doesn't break up with him over it.

Also the fact that everyone sitting around him finally listens when he's at his most unshielded only for Tenn to ask him to play Don't Be Afraid for them after...? How do you not see the connection? Are you trying to make me cry? In that moment, Louis' heart was heard and appreciated and beautiful and strong and-

Listen. I am fine. I'm so normal about this. And fine. I'm fine.

But I also have to add that during the walk in episode four, if you let Louis choose what to add to the imaginary house, he picks a brand new piano because he wants a new heart to reflect the confidence and growth Clementine helped him achieve and because he loves her and AJ so much that wants the new heart to not just be his but also theirs and I am so fine with this, okay.

[clowncryptids]

Fluttershy!

I actually love this design so much... she was so fun to draw!!!

This Fluttershy is a Peryton which is a mythical creature described as a winged deer! Fluttershy is also a trans girl and she loves her antlers bec they are the perfect perch for her bird friends (and the occasional naughty squirrel)

the only part of this I don't LOVE is her cutie mark... idk just don't love how it looks on her but it was hard coming up with how to make it show up on her fur color :P

other fun facts! Fluttershy is the 3rd tallest of the Mane 6! she is quite tall in average standards but AJ and Twilight beat her in height bec of their extra tall species hehe

[Image ID: a digital drawing of a Fluttershy from My Little Pony redesign. She is standing with her left side showing and her has a bashful look and smile on her face. She is a Peryton, a winged deer, she has a slender body with long skinny legs, she has a fluffy deer tail, long slender wings, a pink deer nose and long flowing pink hair. Her body is light yellow with light creamy brown on her back along with white fawn like spots. Her wings are brown and pink and her eyes are teal. Her antlers and hooves are brown, and her antlers are adorned with hanging strands of gens and sone vines, 4 small birds perch on them as well. She wears two necklaces of gens around her neck and her cutie mark is three pink butterflies with white outlining them. /End ID]

[queenie-official]

Okay so you’re one of the only ones I’ve seen mention AJ recently so I wanted to come to you with this thought. You know the ‘write a prisoner’ website it went around tiktok for a little? Well I was thinking, in a universe where his ending is different (no spoilers just in case your other followers haven’t watched it) reader finds him on the write a prisoner site and they become penpals. You’re able to develop a genuine connection with one another and he’s able to talk and vent to you about everything that’s gone wrong/right in his life and you’re able to do the same thing. He ends up writing you sappy little poems and love notes eventually cause he realizes you are more than just a penpal to him. At some point you end up surprising him with an actual visit and it just solidifies his feelings being able to finally see you in person. If we’re going off of the mafia!au for him, then maybe he ends up having some of his men on the outside start to keep tabs on you..solely for protection purposes of course not because he wants to make sure he’s the only guy you’re talking to. There’s a couple videos I saw where the girls were still able to be surprised with flowers on the doorstep somehow by their penpal and I definitely feel like he’d do the same thing. There’d be a line in one of his notes afterwards of like ‘Did you get my little surprise, sweetheart? Just wait till you see how much I can really spoil you once I’m out of here.’ Ahhh maybe it’s just me that gets all giggly at this idea. Idk just a little thought 😅

main masterlist

OMG STOP I LOVE THIS SM!!

okay so ima break this up a bit because it’s easier for my brain to focus 😭 will start with looking at it from Aj’s character and then from if it was Mafia!Ani

(i’d also like to state idk how the ‘write a prisoner’ website works exactly but i feel like it’s pretty self explanatory so ima just roll with how it works in my mind)

Aj: becoming pen pals with a prisoner and bonding is a lot easier then you went into the website thinking, you only really go in with the fact you’ll be speaking with a criminal. once you see his photo your interest is peaked (i mean how could it not look at him)

anyway you guys start off with simple topics when messaging like favorite hobbies and Aj mentions to you that he has a love for playing the piano- (idk about you guys but there’s nothing hotter then a man who can play an instrument and play it well) maybe he even makes a promise to you that when he gets out he’ll play for you.

and Aj is such a sweetheart he so would write you poems maybe he starts off with something simple and sweet that can be interpreted in a friend way because for as confident as a guy he is you make him nervous. he only started writing you poems once you two where close enough for him to feel safe and be open with his thoughts and how he got into this situation. and honestly you don’t think he’s to bad of guy after all he never went out of his way to kill anyone during a heist and he always made sure to donate a percentage to charity organizations, so you’re able to push the fact he’s a criminal aside.

as your relationship with him progresses and his friendly poems slowly turn into something more you realize how badly you want to visit him. to see his pretty face in person (even if it is behind a glass frame) and to hear the voice you’d been imagining in your head. so with all the courage you can muster you do some digging and make plans to surprise him. Oh boy are you grateful you went through with it- seeing him in person was almost surreal. somehow he was more handsome in person and furthermore his gravely voice was definitely hotter then you ever could of imagined. he’s a smooth talker, seemingly more bold in person then he was through a screen (which shocked you since with most people it’d be the opposite). oh and when he sees you… sees your smile- the way you flutter your lashes when listening to him speak- he knows he’s done for, knows that there’s no one else he wants more in his life and even more importantly he cannot wait for his release date.

you make the effort to visit him as often as you can…

Mafia!Anakin: we all collectively agree Ani is a possessive man- even if he doesn’t always show it but Mafia Ani, oh that man isn’t afraid to show he’s possessive in fact as far as he’s concerned he owns you. so to no one’s surprise he 100% has men on the outside looking after you. making sure you’re safe, single unbothered by those around you.

Anakin has connections everywhere, i mean he’s the top boss. so if he wants to surprise you with something he will, and he’s got the money for it so honestly what’s stopping him?

waking up and getting ready to start your day only to here your doorbell go off, opening your front door to see a huge bouquet of flowers. it really confuses you at first- i mean you don’t really talk to other guys (probably because every time you did they suspiciously disappeared- if you had their number and messaged them all they’d say is they moved away) so who are they from. taking them inside and seeing a note on the ground that must of fallen out of the bouquet your question is answered.

‘Hope you like them Pretty girl’

it’s not even signed but you know exactly who it’s from. of course you confront him at your next visit, and once you do all he does is give you a sly little smile through the glass as you both hold the phone next to your ears.

‘just wait till you see how much i can really spoil you once i’m out of here’

ugh that resonantes with me sm 😩 he 100% would say that and then swiftly move the conversation along as you blush silently, something about how he said it or maybe it’s the look in his eyes that leaves you flustered.

i think i ranted a bit to much about this 😀 my apologies huns 😭 but anyways you’re so real for this and thank you for dropping it in my asks 🫶🏼

you’re actually my first ask too so 🤭🤭 thank you for the absolute serotonin boost this gave me Xx <3

[teewritessmth]

hey tee

just got to say i love ur writing sm, but i was wondering if you could write an aj fic, im not bothered about what it is but you don’t have as many aj fics. just a thought so, you don’t have to tho.

i love ur writing and you seem so nice and genuine 💋💋

thank you

Hey hun, I apologise to all Aj lovers (including me) but ya'll will see more Aj fics on my tumblr. Tysm for the nice words :((

A Glimpse of us

Summary : Aj takes up a job as a hairstylist for an afternoon.

Warnings : None

"This woman won't stop waffling, will she?"

Aj squints at his phone, trying to understand how the woman parted her hair and sectioned it.

"Are you sure you can do it, babe?"

You furrow your brows a little, concerned that your husband might tangle up your freshly washed hair.

"Babe I gotchu don't worry at all".

With a determined stance, Aj tries copying the tutorial exactly the way it was displayed, save for a few mishaps here and their. He's braided his sister's hair before, this would've been a walk in the park for him... Unfortunately there is a big difference in tending to your sister and tending to your wife.

He could've took out two or three strands of hair outta his sister's head, he doesn't care at all. But oh boy, he is NEVER going to try that with you.

He brushed your hair with gentle hands and smoothed it nicely. In fact he googled different ways to use your hair products so he'd be able to give it his 100%.

After half an hour, you sat in front of him with two French braids, they weren't perfect but for a guy who's never done hair on someone else properly... Aj actually killed it.

You kiss his cheek in gratitude as he flashes you his cute smile, amidst all of this...a little angel walks through the door.

"Ai whatchu doin here", Aj playfully questions his daughter as he picks her up and places her on his lap. Little Aisha wraps her tiny hands around her dad and leans on his chest mumbling something you couldn't hear.

"Guys if you two keep on being this cute and play dodgeball with my heart, I'm actually going to start bawling my eyes out". You quip at the duo that sat across you.

"I want braids too".

"Aww come to mommy, love. I'll braid your pretty hair".

"No".

Aj slaps his hand over his mouth to stifle his laugh.

"Huh? Why?"

You look up at her, confused that she refused your help.

"Daddy will do it".

"Ohhhh"

You pat her head, realising that your daughter has completely transformed into daddy's princess.

"Goodness, Aj she ditched me".

You mock sigh as you hand Aj the materials leaving the two of them to gossip while you go to get yourself a glass of water.

Aj highfives her and kisses the top of her head. He sits her down on the stool and allows her to decide the type of braid she'd like.

The room fill with giggles and jokes as the father and daughter spend their afternoon with each other's comforting presence.

[shuuuuush]

Hi Luv, could you write something about Filly being jealous because AJ or so keeps on flirting with reader? <3

EVERY RIGHT TO BE [Yung Filly]

Warnings: none

A/N: Sorry, I changed it to Niko because I feel like Filly wouldn't really be jealous of AJ yk 😭

Fillys mad? oh no, he's jealous.

He doesn't usually get all worked up, but today, he feels that he might break his cycle of being positive because the scene in front of him is really getting on his nerves.

Niko has his arm around you, his girl.

Shouldn't that be Filly? Shouldn't that be your boyfriend doing that?

Earlier, you both had been invited to join a beta squad video. You only knew Chunkz since Filly was your boyfriend, and he was his best friend.

So Filly thought it would be a great idea if you could meet the rest of his friends. The beta squad.

They were going to shoot a false identity video and thought that the two of you would be perfect to make the video more fun.

On arriving there, you were first greeted by Chunk, one whom you knew. And then you were introduced to the rest of the squad.

Sharky, Aj, and Kenny are all shaking their hands and smiling while you were introducing yourself.

Then you saw a familiar face, one who you haven't seen in a long time.

"Niko?" You asked, squinting your eyes at the taller man to see if it was actually him.

"Y/N? I didn't know you were here!" Niko half ran up to you and engulfed you in a hug. Leaving all the others confused, especially Filly.

"I didn't know you were still in London? This is crazy." You breathed a laugh while in this moment.

A cough was heard from Filly, and you turned around seeing the rest of the squad looking at both of you in confusion. You pulled away from the hug and pointed a hand, directing to Niko.

"Niko was my childhood best friend, but I moved away a few years after." you explained, and everyone nodded in understandment.

Everyone except Filly, it took him a little longer than everyone to comprehend the situation until he finally nodded, a little suspicion slowly cracking through his mind when he saw Niko put a smile on your face as you laughed at something he said.

Before the video started, everyone had a practice on what it was going to be like, especially since it was yours and Filly's first time doing a false identity video. They wanted you both to get the basics of it.

But throughout the practice, something was pissing Filly off. He wasn't his normal happy attitude. Anyone who knew him well enough would know that this is not how Filly normally acts.

Was it that everyone was squashed near each other on a long table?

Was it that less than 10 minutes in, the studio had to be fixed on multiple occasions?

Was it the stress to come to choose who it might be in the video?

Or was it the fact that he wasn't even sitting next to his girlfriend. Was it the fact that you were put next to the person he really didn't want you to sit next to.

When the cameras started rolling, everyone was having fun, guessing who was the imposter and the fake people trying to win the cash prize but were too obvious to be real.

For a while, Filly almost forgot that he was a little jealous. He was actually enjoying the time with his friends.

Until he heard laughs from you, laughing at one of Niko's jokes about the fake identity person.

He didn't realise it, but his face went into a cold stare. No smiles, no happy expressions. Just blank.

All Filly could do was sit there and watch as the both of you laughed at each others jokes, smiling and having fun. From another's eye, it may have looked like you and Niko were a couple and not you and Filly.

He didn't want to cause a commotion, but he really wasn't feeling too good right now.

But one thing that came to mind on what he could do was embarrass Niko. Well, to the extent he could, at least to make it seem that Filly was better, so he had to wait for the right time.

One man, they forgot who the name was because they were all in masks. Sharky asked what his name was.

"Drew." The masked man answered, and just as the words left the man's mouth, Niko was already on him, with a funny one-liner.

"Oh, I know you, your name is Drew P. Weiner right?"

And the whole squad burst out in laughter, some repeating what Niko said but in fits of laughter. Filly wasn't fazed, though. Instead, saw this as an opportunity to call Niko out.

"Y'know how bad that was? Why'd you always have to violate man like that?" And when others tried to calm Filly down saying it was a joke, he just said, "No, that wasn't even funny. How'd you lot find that funny?"

"What, like, you can make better jokes?" Niko scoffed but with a smirk on his face.

"Yeah, at least they're not all dick jokes."

Sensing something stirring between the two, you tried to steer the conversation back to the video and question the next person.

Throughout the video, Filly also noticed Niko was a bit touchy and always ends up asking for your opinion, you ignored it though because you were old friends so you thought it was normal for him to act like this.

Finally, after a few long hours, the video was fully completed. Everyone went off the set, and either went home or went to go eat somewhere.

A few minutes after getting your belongings, Niko came up to you.

"Hey, Y/N. It was great to see you again, we should catch up and get something to eat? Like the old times." He said loosely, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and ruffling your hair with the other hand. Niko was always tall, so he did that all the time.

You laughed, elbowing him to get out of the headlock.

"Yeah, that would be nice, I'll have to check my schedule if I'm free or not. I'll get back to you." You replied, and Niko nodded, telling you to text him to let him know and waved goodbye.

On the other side of the room, Filly was looking at both of you, arms folded and jealousy stirring inside of him. He didn't like how it made him feel, but he couldn't ignore how strong it was.

Chunkz walked up to him, placing a hand on his shoulder, causing Filly to get out of his trance.

"Bruva, you good?" Chunkz always knew Filly best. He's been through with him a lot and knows him like the back of his hand.

"Did you see the way Niko was moving to my girl? That's proper mad."

Chunkz chuckled at his friend, causing Filly to give a look at him. "I'm serious. It's not funny. Why was he getting all touchy, and he was laughing a little too hard with her. You saw that, too, yeah?"

Chunkz nodded, "That's just how Niko is, though. I wouldn't worry about it. They are childhood friends, after all." And with that thought, he left Filly to contemplate the situation.

He was going to approach you and ask about it. He thought that would be a smart thing to do until he saw Niko come back and tell you that he forgot to give you his number to text him.

When exchanging numbers, you looked around and made eye contact with Filly. He just shook his head and left, heading towards the door.

"Filly!" You called out to him, and when he didn't respond, you told Niko you had to leave and rushed to go follow him.

Calling out to him again, you realised he wasn't answering back. He was halfway to his car in the driveway when you called out to him again.

You stomped towards him, hand on his arm, stopping him from taking a step further, “Are you ignoring me?”

He turns to you, face stern, “Only because you’ve been ignoring me."

"What?" Taken aback, you let go of his arm. When have you ignored him?

"Yeah, you've been too busy flirting with Niko that maybe you've forgotten that you have a boyfriend!" He shouted, clearly pissed at the situation.

Filly doesn't get angry normally, but today he did, and this was your first time seeing him get mad. Now you realised what the situation was. He was jealous. Of course he was. He had no other reason to burst out like that.

"Babe, Niko wasn't flirting with me. We're friends. He just wanted to catch up." You tried to calm him down, you were speaking the truth, you didn't think Niko was flirting with you.

"He has been flirting with you. Can you not even see that?"

"Filly, you don't need to be jealous of him."

"I have every right to be jealous, Y/N. Look at him. He's tall, and he's funny. I'll admit he's a good-looking guy. He's basically got everything I don't have." He pointed to all of himself, then looked back to you. "Look at me. I'm not much compared to him."

Your gaze softened at him, so he wasn't just jealous because deep down, he felt insecure, thinking you might leave him for Niko, you could see it in his eyes.

"Filly..." You spoke softly, taking his hands in yours and making him look up at you. "I love you, not Niko."

“Just… don’t leave me, okay?” He said, his brown eyes gazing into your yours.

You pulled him into a hug, resting your head on his shoulder, and hugged him tight. "No baby, don’t say that. I won’t leave you, ever."

"Even if I'm not as tall or funny as Niko?"

"Filly, to me, you're funnier than Niko. Maybe not as tall, but you're the perfect height, I still love you either way." You laughed and placed your lips onto his.

Filly then realised that he didn't need to be jealous anymore, not with you by his side. All he knew was that he loved you, and you loved him back. That's all he needed right now.

Taglist: @b4tasquad @p3drii @n1kodl @elora-k @slutforpablogavi @enhacolor @amwife @distantfromu

Mutuals Taglist: @b4tasquad @p3drii @vctrvn-ls @allygatcr @slutforpablogavi @kennysboxergf @n1kodl @amwife

[mediacircuspod]

AJ Crowley vs Forgiveness

I need to talk about Crowley for a minute so buckle up or move on.

"It’s not so bad once you get used to it” from Season 1 Episode 1 and an early chapter of the book is something of a throwaway joke. But being damned isn't much of a joke to Crowley, even if he makes jokes to cover it up.

The first thing to understand is that damnation doesn’t end after Crowley either saunters vaguely downwards or is dropped into a burning pile of sulfur(conflicting accounts from the demon himself). Being damned is a continuous state of being AND something that could very well happen to him again. 

He was too ambitious for heaven—too curious. Something that he now knows is distinctly not a heavenly virtue. It’s just that those traits are also not virtues in hell either. And on top of that—he’s good. 

Which in his particular role, is an extremely dangerous thing to be. So he isn’t good, and he isn’t nice and he doesn’t feel trite things like empathy or love. Except that he knows intrinsically that all of that is utter bullshit. And if anyone who isn’t Aziraphale realizes this, he doesn’t really know what falling from hell would be like, but he doesn't want to be the first. 

Another thing to remember is that Crowley doesn’t understand why he was cast out. He understands that it was the questions, that it was his ambition to try and suggest improvements, but he can’t understand why. And the shame of that being yet another question is not lost on him.

The resentment there that has festered for millennia is understandable and expected and HES RIGHT TO FEEL IT. And it’s the reason why he has such a negative reaction to the concept of “forgiveness” but has a relatively amicable relationship with apologies. And I know this is going to sound crazy after nearly 400 words, but this is the actual concept I want to dissect.

Because Aziraphale’s “I forgive you”s of the past have never gotten a good response, but they’ve also never gotten a “don’t bother”. Aziraphale uses that phrase specifically against Crowley when he needs to put distance between them. When he knows that Crowley is right. And Crowley knows that Aziraphale uses that phrase for exactly that purpose because they have being playing their parts for thousands of years. And he’s always been willing to wait in the past. The dance begins with Crowley challenging Aziraphale with something tempting. 

The Great plan is dumb. What if we just left together? You’re being dumb. (I need to link that one Tumblr post that inspired this, just look at this.) Here.

And finally, desperately, This is what you’re giving up. Because Crowley doesn’t actually think it will work. He may hope it does. But he has played his part for long enough to know exactly what Aziraphale’s next line will be. And it still devastates him. And well, it’s his decision to be done waiting for Aziraphale to catch up. Being “too fast” has been his insecurity for too long, and he’s done slowing down just so Aziraphale can try and forgive him. He still doesn’t know why what he is, is wrong. 

(He isn’t)(I mean he certainly makes some unhealthy choices, and he isn’t exactly completely in the right, but he’s NOT wrong.)(Running away together ISNT the right move, but it is the more romantic one so take that as you will.)

The part that makes my brain buzz is that this aversion to forgiveness does not apply to apologies. Specifically it does not apply to the phrase “I was wrong” or "you were right" or the little dance.

This. Is. Interesting.

He doesn’t have a problem with apologizing, and he doesn’t have a problem accepting apologies from Aziraphale if that wonderful scene is to be taken at face value. The fact that the 1941 apology dance wasn’t shown is actually a crime, and you can’t convince me otherwise. And I think this is specifically because he’s not actually averse to forgiveness on the whole. It’s the idea that he needs forgiveness for simply being who he is that actually bothers him. And well. I guess he was tired of Aziraphale pretending that the concept had merit, too. 

For four years he's had the freedom to be exactly who he is without the fear of damnation even if he still has the baggage that went along with the first time it happened to him. And even though Aziraphale doesn't realize it, he's asking Crowley to do something impossible for him. He's asking Crowley to admit that he needs forgiveness, and come back to heaven.

Aziraphale assumes that Crowley would not only want that, but that being with Aziraphale would make it even better. But what the angel has actually done, is give Crowley's deepest insecurity wings. And given him a reason to step away from their millennia long dance.

Because Crowley has finally, finally, finally, found something that he can't give up for Aziraphale. It's extremely poetic that that thing happens to be himself.

And okay now I’m done. I’m gonna go scream into a void.

[joyejoyu]

Some sensitive stuff but if you care about current going ons in Palestine I encourage you to read:

I am genuinely devastated by the cognitive dissonance world leaders and celebrities are exhibiting re: Gaza. As a Levantine Arab whose parent’s homes were destroyed in war ignited by Israeli occupation, I am vehemently Pro-Palestine and sincerely encourage people to be critical of Pro-Israeli propaganda. Israel has been recognized time and time again by the United Nations and several human rights organizations as a colonial-settler state that has and continues to commit apartheid. Israel has always been a white supremacist and Zionist project financially backed by America and Europe solely for the benefits of keeping Palestinians oppressed while utilizing the land as a makeshift military base in the Levant. World leaders are lying through their teeth in order to retain all the benefits that come with subjugation. It is not a ‘conflict’ nor is it ‘complicated’. If you don’t support what Russia is doing to Ukraine, you should not support what Israel is doing to Palestine. There is never an excuse for massacre at this scale for this long.

I will be adding many resources below while also reblogging many informational posts. I know this is just my art Tumblr but I am incredibly passionate about this situation and it effects my family directly.

Links:

How ‘Israel’ came to be and how it was on the blood of indigenous Palestinians and a white supremicist project funded by the UK and America:

What has been happening in Gaza for almost 80 years:

The sheer amount of carnage that Israeli officials hide from the general public and claim is ‘less’ than Israeli casualties:

How Americans are brainwashed into helping with and advocating apartheid and ethnic cleansing:

How Israelites and zionists hide behind anti-semitism when confronted with the reality of Palestinian genocide and any critique on Israeli apartheid. As well as how utilizing this term as a shield dismisses the actual meaning of anti-semitism and diminishes it’s value during genuine critique:

Human rights resources

There are many more but this is enough to start. Please don’t stay silent and don’t blindly believe the overwhelming (and very calculated and intentional) wave of pro-Israeli sentiment.

[incorrectly-quoting-murderdrones]

Sky’s Episode 7 Review (now that she’s stopped screaming) ((kinda))

Spoilers under the cut

Never trust interns with anything

Also holy shit the animation has gone from amazing to absolutely jaw-dropping

N desperately clawing at the rocks to get back to V is heartbreaking

The fact that the Disassembly Drones were built to murder humans and not the workers is one hell of a reveal and not something I expected at all.

That’s probably why Nori kept making plans about the murder drones before they even arrived, she kept thinking they were after the drones, not remembering they were there for the humans.

Now that we know Tessa is was nothing but a skin puppet, are there any humans left? Are all of them dead?

ALSO WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THE TESSA SKIN PUPPET?!

I thought maybe it was Cyn just puppeteering the spacesuit and making it seem bloody, but Jesus fucking Christ the skin suit was absolutely disturbing

Thad and Lizzy return!

Khan actually taking initiative? I do love the consistency of him being able to repair Uzi’s rail gun easily.

Also we’re not gonna talk about how Khan KEPT her rail gun?

Please for the love of god give Uzi a break. She really goes through it this episode.

Nori: “Bite me!”

Now we see where Uzi gets it from

N immediately screaming at the V hallucination and Uzi noping the fuck away from the wall of flesh was a great reverse on the usual horror tropes

So we’re just gonna gloss over how Nori is not only alive, but one of the weird little squid drones? If that affects drones with Absolute Solver, maybe Doll isn’t as dead as we think.

Just how much does J know? Is she even aware of Tessa being a puppet?

I love how in the fight between Uzi-Cyn and N, we get a callback to the Knife Dance!

“Nori! The truth is Uzi and I-“ and then he just writes “hang out”. They are really keeping the Nuzi fans in suspense, aren’t they.

“Your backups will forgive me” So there are clones of N? Did Cyn turn only N, J, and V into murder drones and then clone them a bunch?

Uzi drop kicked her own mother. This show is incredible.

N killed Tessa to save Uzi!

Elsie and Michael did an incredible job with the voice acting

Between the knife dance, hand holding, the “Hang out. Just hang out idk lol”, and the “We did NOT discuss being gross and stuff!”, I am getting so many mixed messages about N and Uzi’s relationship

I love that even though Nori’s head was scrambled when she married Khan and had Uzi, she actually thinks that Khan is a hunk in her normal mind.

Bit of a personal theory here, but with the way the show sets up both N and V having a crush on each other, and N and Uzi having a crush on each other, I think the show might actually have eNVUzi be canon rather than just Nuzi, Envy, or Vuzi, which I’d be totally down for

The way Uzi bites at the tentacle just so she can go down with a cool pose made me laugh

N just watched both of the girls he loves sacrifice themselves for him, learned that Tessa was fucking skinned and worn by Cyn like a puppet, learned that he himself has killed not just hundreds of worker drones but thousands of humans too, and is now alone in his quest to stop Cyn from destroying the universe.

He is going to need so much therapy if he survives this

Also AJ Dispirito coming through with another incredible soundtrack!

Nuzi’s theme playing during the “All I know is, I need you.” scene. (I think it’s the same leitmotif that plays during “Falling….for you?”)

Uzi’s theme (Solver Uzi) playing during her sacrifice

The music for the fight between Cyn and N?!?!?! Incredible!?!?!

[hugheses]

literally years ago i started transcribing this and then never got around to finishing it but finally did with some help from oomf. pls tell me if you notice any errors!

below the cut:

5-3-21

AJ: We are so excited to have Ellen Hughes hop on the bus with us today. So Ellen, welcome. And to give a little background, you grew up in Dallas, which, a long time ago before the Stars, there were not- it was not a hockey hotbed, as maybe it is now. Played a lot of sports. You ended up playing soccer, hockey and lacrosse, three sports at UNH, made it to the NCAA semifinal game in Lacrosse in 1987, inducted into the UNH Athletic Hall of Fame in 2012. You ultimately pursued a graduate degree at UNH, and while you did that, assistant coached for both the soccer and hockey teams. Ultimately, you made Team USA for the 1992 World Championship, where with Cammi you won a silver, named to the tournament All-Star Team. Two years later, at the Worlds in ‘94, you served as an ambassador to Norway's national team, went on into broadcasting. You were in the booth for when Cam and I won gold in 1998 with CBS and then a sideline reporter for the 1999 World Cup of soccer. Your husband, Jim, is a former hockey player and coach, has worked for the Maple Leafs organization. And of course, you are the uber matriarch, hockey mom of North America because you have three superstar sons. You've got Quinn, drafted number seven overall, plays D for Vancouver. You've got Jack, who is number one overall with the New Jersey Devils and of course, Luke, eligible for the draft this year. So welcome, Ellen. We can't wait to catch up with you.

Ellen: Thanks so much for having me. And thanks for the nice intro. I know, AJ, you see Jack here and there with the Islanders, could you remind him of some of those things, that I actually had a life? And Cammi, I know you've been nice enough to have Quinn over for dinner, not this year because of COVID, but maybe you could give him that whole intro again that, I did something other than just being their mother.

Cammi: Well, you know, it's funny. There is probably, I don't know what it was, maybe four or five months ago, you had sent me a video that you guys found, which we have to post on our social media channel here. But it was you as this little cute, blond, tiny little voice hockey player being interviewed in Texas, of all places, for hockey. Right? A woman, a female playing hockey, let alone kids playing hockey in Texas is so rare. Right? And I remember Quinn texting me and being like, said something about your skating, how bad it was. And I was like, little do all your kids know is that their talent comes from their mom. I've nothing—taking away nothing from Jimmy, because Jimmy was a great athlete himself. But you and Quinn play almost identical. And I'm going to keep reminding him of that.

Ellen: I love it. I love it. I usually get like just one word, dust[?] with things like that.

Cammi: Yeah, well, thank you for being here.

AJ: Yeah, yeah. But I want to start back with the fact that you grew up in a nontraditional hockey market. I know. According to USA Hockey, we’re not supposed to say that anymore because there are all—they don't really consider that anymore. There are so many with the Coyotes and the Stars and the two teams in Florida and Southern California. But when you grew up in Dallas, hockey was not a mainstream sport. I can imagine you had to have been playing on the boys team. Can you tell us what it was like growing up in Dallas then?

Ellen: Well, it's so funny because you see, you know, it's so exciting to see where the women's game has gone. And, you know, you forget how old you are and you kind of forget like, wow, that was pretty unusual what I was doing back then. And, you know, I'm even older than Cammi, so Cammi's older than you, AJ. Sorry to age you there, Cammi. But you forget that what we were doing in those times as young girls and how… you know, unusual it was, because we were fortunate enough to have parents that encouraged us and led us and pushed us and created those opportunities to play with the boys. And it's amazing to think that we did that and it seemed so normal to me. And my dad's been gone a long time, like he used to coach us. But I think about the fact that as a young girl in Dallas, Texas, a nontraditional market, to have a father that said, “Oh, you want to play hockey? Okay, you can play with the boys and you can go do those things.” And just how lucky I was to have a father that created those opportunities and supported those opportunities. And so it's pretty great. But we used to play down at the fairground. So, so people that know Dallas know that, you know, there's a fairgrounds downtown and the Cotton Bowl is played there every year. And there used to be a CHL team. So the old CHL. And so for us, it was very normal. I have an older brother that played and then went off to prep school and played at Deerfield Academy and then played Division three college hockey at Bowden. He could have played Division one, very academically oriented, and that's what he chose to do. So you want to do everything that your brother did. So when we were really little, we moved from St Louis to Dallas, and when I was in St Louis, all I wanted to do was play hockey. But in the state of Missouri, and I may have this factually not correct, but this is what my parents told me, that the girls weren’t allowed to play on boys’ teams in the state of Missouri. So when I knew I was moving, it was on my eighth birthday and my dad said, Well, it'd be great because you can play on- you can play hockey when you move to Dallas. So that's when I was so excited about the move. Like I could go play on a boys team because there was no girls’ teams to play on. And so there's only one team, if you're good enough, you play on the best team. And we would travel to St Louis, we would travel to Kansas City, we would travel to Colorado a couple of times a year and we would go play the best teams that we could possibly play. I just didn't understand at that point that was the world that I was living in, that that was unusual or different. So every once in a while I look back on it and think how fortunate I was to have parents that really not only supported it but encouraged it and let me really sow my own oats.

Cammi: When you were in St Louis, you saw the game of hockey around you. You wanted to play, you couldn't play. Did you play off ice then to be ready for when you moved and were like able to play or did you just start fresh when you moved to Texas?

Ellen: You know, I don't even remember. I was eight, so I don’t- I don't- it I must have been- I must have learned how to skate, but I wasn't playing. I don't really remember playing, like I remember running around the rinks with your brothers. I mean, you know how that is. You play mini sticks at the rinks, y’know. But I always wanted to play. I wanted to play everything. So, you know, I was just… and then off I went and I just started playing and I loved it. And I was fortunate because, you know, Cammi, you never went to Bob Johnson’s hockey school in Colorado, did you, in Aspen?

Cammi: No.

Ellen: I know, because I know you have a close relations with that whole Wisconsin crew. But every summer we spent the month of August in Aspen, and I would do the Bob Johnson Hockey School. So I actually think I did that like, at seven, before I ever moved, and they would always let me play. So it was Bob, it was Grant Standbrook, it was Jeff Sauer, all these people that, y’know, were so supportive of the women's game, Art Berglund who just passed away. And so I would spend my summers there playing and being groomed by the players that played with Tony at Wisconsin. It would have been their generation of players that were the camp counselors and that was right around the ‘84 men's Olympics. And a lot of those guys went on to play in that. So I think culturally that was exciting for me and that's where my passion grew.

Cammi: And you played soccer as a young girl as well.

Ellen: Yes. So soccer: really competitive. You know, we won youth nationals. And I was, I mean, it's crazy to think that I'm going to be 53 years old. And when I was being recruited to play women's soccer, there were 31 Division one schools across the country offering scholarships. And so Wisconsin was one of them. And I really wanted to go there because of my allegiance with that. But they had no women's hockey. So when we— [...]

Cammi: That's where I- me, too. I wanted to go as well. We would have been teammates instead of rivals.

Ellen: Right, at least for one year. I think you were a freshman my senior year. Is that right?

Cammi: Either junior or senior. Yeah. Yeah.

Ellen: [Laughs] So anyway, so the soccer side of things, you know, if you were an elite player, you wanted to go to UNC. My very best friend on the team growing up on my youth hockey, my youth soccer team was Carla Werden, you know her as Carla Overbeck, who became the captain of the team in the first World Cup team. Mia Hamm, I played with on my state team, so we were really good in those days. Brandi Chastain was my roommate at my first youth national team camp for soccer. So that was my, you know, generation of players. And I wasn't recruited by UNC, but I was recruited by some of the other top schools and I had this like, crossroads, where am I going to go to a school like UNH, where there are startup women's soccer programs, but yet I can play two sports. And they were offering me a full scholarship. And the crazy thing is there was no school in the state of Texas that was playing Division one Women's soccer. Think about that. Not a one. I mean, there was 31. I think there's 360 some odd schools, Division one programs at this rate for women's soccer. So that's how the landscape changed and that's how the lack of landscape really drove my next move.

Cammi: So you chose UNH. You played soccer and hockey, but then you also added lacrosse.

Ellen: Yeah. And the interesting thing about hockey is here I am, this girl coming out of Dallas and nobody knew about me. And as you know, Providence at the time, so all the Ivy Leagues were playing hockey and then we didn't have a lot of programs back then that were playing. So it was all the Ivy- it was the ECAC. So it was what, maybe 15 teams playing? How many, 22?

Cammi: Yeah, roughly 22.

Ellen: And so there weren't a lot of options. So there were so many girls playing that wanted to get on those teams. So I remember reaching out to Russ McCurdy who was the coach and saying, “You know, I'm being looked at by UNH for women's soccer, but I'm only coming there because I want to play women's hockey,” and he was like, “Oh, you know, you're probably not going to make the team. You know, we're a fully funded program.” I mean, you know how that goes, right? Right, right. Why would you take a girl out of Dallas you knew nothing about, playing in these, he asked if I was playing women's hockey at that time. And so I had- you know, I wasn't guaranteed a spot, but I'd watched them play, and my mom and dad watched them play. And I really, in my heart of hearts thought I'd be able to play. And they were a fully funded program and my scholarship was coming from soccer. And so, I decided that I wanted to do it. And he said, and I remember having Bob Johnson at the time call on my behalf. He called, he was at Wisconsin still, and he called and said, you know, she can play, she’s been with me every summer, and I really think you should give her a shot. So he said, okay. So the deal was, I was going to play soccer. Well all the women start with hockey, probably—when did we start, in the fall, like in mid-September. And they had the whole training camp, while I was still playing soccer until Thanksgiving. And so I said, when you get done with soccer, just come see me and I'll give you a week to try out, to get up to speed. So he really had no thought of me or like, there was no, like, ‘she's not making this team.’ So we finished soccer and then I went over to hockey and I remember after my first day he said, “What size states do you wear?” So that was like, that, that made me happy. Like that was it. I was on the team, so it was pretty good.

And then our women's soccer coach, Marge Anderson, was one of the most decorated women's lacrosse players in those days. She had played at UMass for soccer and hockey, and she was on the World Cup team for lacrosse. So she would take a couple of athletes a year because in those days you needed female athletes to play more than one sport, to really round out your depth of your programs. So she had encouraged me to come out and play lacrosse. I knew nothing about it. So our first year they had just won the national championship the year before, believe it or not. Did you guys know UNH won the National Women's Lacrosse championship? Different landscape in those days. So they had won the national championship. None of the Southern schools were playing. Nobody across the country was playing. It was a real Northeast-driven collegiate world. And so I walked onto this field and, um, let's just say… I wasn't very good. I could run, but my stick skills- and I learned and I did everything, and it was great, and we went to the Final Four, but I was out at that point. So everybody always says I played three sports like, I was on the team. I was, you know, three sports at that level. I was done at that point and I stuck with soccer and hockey after my first year. But it was a really cool experience.

AJ: Well, a kudos, too, by the way, to go back to something you just said, that McCurdy asked what size state you are. Kudos to UNH for giving you guys skates back in the 80s. I didn't get skates in college until my senior year, which was the fall of 1998. That was the first time I got skates bought for me. So that's, that's pretty good on UNH, I give the Wildcats props.

Cammi: Well, Ellen, you know what? So, Russ, I actually- I was. I was the same, a kid coming from Illinois. So, such a similar story where nobody wanted to talk to me really, until someone saw me play when I went out to the East Coast, I just played with a girls’ team for one game and I got seen by Providence. Other than that, I called Russ. Same thing. No interest, but I got to say, Russ, and I know what he meant to you, when I look at all the coaches that I've been coached with, he coached us at the — at the ‘92 World Championships where you were named best defenseman of that tournament. He taught me a lot, not about, not just about hockey, but just like how to organize yourself off life, how to make your bed every day. Like, there's things that stuck with me from Russ from that one or two, I think, seasons we had him. He was a special guy, you know. You know, I just— he never gets any recognition. He's very unknown. But did you remember that about him? Do you have that same sort of view of him that I do?

Ellen: Totally. And I'm still really tight with him and Sheila. And, you know, when you think about it, for what he did as a male player, you know, in that generation, he was a heck of a hockey player. And then, I don't know what he did, but he left the game and did something, you know, I'm not really sure what he did and came back to the game, but for his stature to come back and coach the women and do what he did, and he coached tennis as well, and he cared so much. He was so passionate about the game, and teaching the game, and teaching away from the game. And he cared so much about the people, you as a person. And I always laugh because, you know, Quinn had Donnie, you know, your brother, at the NTDP. And he reminds me a lot of Donnie. I don't know if you feel that way, but-

Cammi: I totally feel that way because as you say, first of all, from a mental standpoint, they're both like, they help you so much with the side, the mental side, and also the skill based stuff that Russ taught us. He goes beyond the game and I feel, yeah, it's really interesting that you say that because I can see that as well.

Ellen: And it's just the, you know, some people have their skills and then some people like, have different skill sets. And I feel that the best of the best try to cover all the different skill sets and really get to know the different human being and try to push the buttons. And it doesn't work for everybody. Not everybody would feel that way, but he was an amazing man and still is an amazing man. And I also think it's funny because one thing that, you know, I don't know how you are with the kids, but this sticks with me. And I don't know if you remember this, Cammi, but the interesting thing is, I've seen my boys be taught that same lesson from coaches at a younger level, and I can particularly say the NTDP level is: get up every day and make your bed. You've accomplished one thing. Do you remember that from him? And then it was either Donnie-

Cammi: No! Always.

Ellen: Or Wroblewski that I remember had Quinn and Brady, like, make your bed every day. And then I saw with, with Jack and Luke. Like, “we got to make our bed every day because that's orderly” and like, little things like that.

Cammi: Well, I got to say, Ellen, that stuck with me for— still to this day, I think of Russ when I make my bed. I'm not kidding. And I tell the kids the same, like if you just… and it resonated with me. So like, I don't know, it stayed with me. It resonated with me when he said it. And then his… just his stuff about practicing skill. And we hadn't really done that so much, as an, I guess where we were at Providence. Like we would just go practice, but like, he was working on skill-based stuff. He’s a very smart man. So I'm happy to hear that you're still in touch with him and you felt the same way. But I love that we're both making our bed because of Russ McCurdy. You taught your kids that.

AJ: I obviously didn't have Russ, I obviously didn't have Russ McCurdy, you can see behind me in my hotel room here. So I do not make my bed every day. And I know the value of it, but yeah, no, never had a coach who told me that.

Cammi: He was pretty special.

Ellen: Then. AJ, I was thinking about when you said about getting skates. I don't know how you guys were, but how would your shot be today? Like when I was playing, like, of course I couldn't shoot the puck because we would take the old men's sticks that were wooden and they would cut them down for us. Like, how would I have any flex on the stick?

AJ: Right? Right. So stiff. And it's like, it's crazy when you think about that, and the technology. And even when I did get a pair of skates, when I came back after the Olympics and played at Harvard, they were so much lighter. They were just… the material and everything, and then you look at the sticks and it's crazy. I mean, I never played with the one piece that they have now, that was just coming out when I was at the tail end of my career. But I remember I tried them, but the puck was all bouncy and I didn't like them. But you think about how quick the release and all the kick point on those sticks, that technology's insane.

Ellen: Right? You also think about how great the women are and where they're at. Like we didn't go in the weight room. We did not go in the weight room. The weight room was not for women's sports.

AJ: Our coach actually, my first year at Harvard before Katie Stone took over, he actually thought weightlifting was unbecoming for women. He didn't, he didn't book us. He wouldn't let us go in weight room. It was a, it was sort of an off limits thing. So he was a lovely man. But it was… not appropriate.

Cammi: Well, our Providence College coach, John Marchetti, who I love, I have always loved him as a coach. We had to beg him to just get us to get in shape. He thought women, that was just the way it was at the time. He was old fashioned and women would skate from the blue line in, so we would have half ice practices. And I was like, “We're out of shape. Like we got to skate!” “You guys don't need to skate full ice.” And it was literally all great intentions. Wonderful man. But that's what he felt. And I mean, think about that. Like I tried- it blows people away to think that that was the way it was. But that's how we were viewed as women. We can't exert ourselves the same way as men. And we were begging him to.

Ellen: Okay, now I know why we won, then. Why we beat you? Because we skated. [unintelligible]

Cammi: You didn't. You didn't beat me. Did you beat me when I was there?

Ellen: I don't know.

Cammi: We won. We won. I think we went the last year. You remember freshman year. I think you beat us in the finals. I think we[...]

Ellen: I think we met four years. Was just super cool, but I only — I was there five years. Much shorter. One year. But we went three years.

Cammi: Okay? We went three years. So we must have crossed over. And you beat us once? Yeah, you beat us. Let's get into the hockey mom stuff because I think a lot of moms are interested in the landscape of sport. Our kids that are passionate about anything. And it typically it's like, well, we know the sports world, but I mean, nowadays it's, it's everything. Like, whether it's music or some sort of non-sport, a passion that someone has. We're always trying to get our kids to pursue excellence. And AJ and I have talked a lot on this podcast, how sometimes things are flipped a little backwards and we're a little bit out of skew right now with the way we push our kids and just how fast they're put through the system. And you had three boys that you raised with Jimmy, who are now… two are NHL superstars. One's on his way. How, what was it like in your house? How did it start with the kids? What were you like as a mom and Jimmy as far as like, having, cultivating that for them?

Ellen: You know, it all seems like a blur. You know how that is, right? You're in the middle of it, both of you with young kids. So you're just day to day. I mean, you're day to day, right?

Cammi: Survival.

Ellen: Right? It's survival mode. So for me, you do things that you enjoy or you- you teach them things that you feel like you can teach them, Right. So it's kind of a slight on me that I wasn't more worldly and wanting to take them to museums. Or maybe like I felt like I had do those things because like, ‘Oh my God, what am I teaching them?’ But you tend to do the things that you - you're trying to find activities. Jimmy was off coaching a lot, I had three young boys that were really close in age. So what do I know? What can I do to pass time and keep them active? It was kicking a soccer ball. It was throwing a ball, it was doing rollerblading, it was passing the puck, it was taking them skating. So for me, those were mommy and me activities, right? And then every once in a while I'd be like, you know, I'd be like, ‘uh, we got to do Kumon, we gotta do like - we gotta read.’

You know, academics was really important to me because I felt like I was so driven the other way that like, I didn’t want to miss out on the other. So for us, it was never this grandiose plan, and I'm sure you guys were the same way. It was more like, ‘be the best at whatever it is you're doing, work your hardest at whatever it is you're doing.’ Working the hardest didn't mean scoring the most goals. It was playing the right way, whatever it is, being a great teammate and working really, really hard and we always felt like the other would come.

AJ: Do you feel like with your boys having you as a mom, Jim as a dad, did they feel pressure to perform on the rink?

Ellen: I don't think so, because we never put pressure on them. We would put pressure on them to work hard and play the right way. I mean, there were days I can remember with Quinn when we moved to Toronto, we were like “Ah, he’s doing pretty good, he’s a pretty good little hockey player. This is good.” Like, hmm. And we were coming from New Hampshire and Jimmy taking the job up in Toronto and we got there and I remember Jimmy going somewhere and he's like, “He is not even in the top 300 players in the city.” Do you know what I mean? Like he was, this thing was not—

Cammi: Was that what age? What age is that?

Ellen: He probably would have been… I'm trying to think when we moved. So Luke was born six, seven, eight, maybe? He was in first grade. What grade are you in first grade?

Cammi: Yeah, about seven or seven. Seven.

Ellen: And we thought he was doing great, but we never cared. What we would just say to him, like, and he was on a good little team and we would get beat by Ryan McLeod, who just played with Edmonton in and, and, Strome was on that team, Matty Strome, the youngest of the Stromes. And those two were like, I mean, I mean, they would score five, six, seven goals and I would be in awe how good they were at a little age - at a young age. So what we would do is we would just put them up against the best in the spring and in clinics and have them chase, try to be the best you can be. It was never like, “why aren't you that good” or “why are you scoring” or - and, you know, Jack was a little bit different. He came in and he was playing up a year with the older kids, you know. And Luke, we didn't even think about, like, third child, he's probably benefited the best because we were just trying to get the other two other places and we didn't even know how he played or what happened. And, and I think that was the other thing with them. You know, Jim was so busy working that we didn't watch ‘em practice. We didn't, you know, I might drop one at a the game and try to get to the other one to the game, to get to the other one to the game. So they had to self evaluate at a young age and really decide how they played. You know, you guys are probably the same way with your busy schedules.

AJ: Yeah, it's interesting. I look at it like I'm at the Nationals right now with my daughter Jamie, and talking to some of the parents last night and they were asking me like, what did you think of the game? And we were talking about it. But they don't watch far more than I do because I travel. So, you know, they're asking me, knowing that I have a hockey background. But it's to your point, I love coming to watch my kids play, but I really feel like I can just watch them and enjoy. I'm not coaching this year and it's a really- it is fascinating because I do feel like my kids have sort of they'll tell me how they played and, you know, usually they're tougher on themselves. I mean, I think most kids or most athletes are probably tougher on themselves anyway. But when- like as a hockey parent, I'm surrounded by people and you see all the studies about the low percentage of players that will make it from youth hockey to even D-1, let alone the NHL. You have three kids, three boys, two that are gone first round. Luke obviously is on his way to the NHL. So at what point did you think they were going to make it? Like, was there a time like you're talking about when Quinn was seven and you guys were just trying to have them compete? But was there a moment where you were like, wow, our - our kids are legit?

Ellen: You know, there was a point where I said, All right, this is good. Like, they're going to get to Division one college hockey. Like, I was pretty pumped. And at the end of the day, there's a point where you say you can only provide so much information and now they have to have their inner drive. Now that's gotta kick in. And I think for each one of them, that was when they got to the program. So for junior hockey, I guess, would be the equivalent. And I think it's the every day focusing on getting better, doing I mean, living it, eating it, not liking it, loving it. Y’know? And there's kids who get better from 18 to 20. There's, you know, you got to keep getting better. Doesn’t matter if you're the best at 16 or 15. So I saw my kids take different paths, you know, and just staying to have fun and having fun. Having fun is everything, as you know. You know, I mean, it's got to be fun. I mean, Cammi, you have two sons who are elite little soccer players, but if they're not having fun, that changes their drive for wanting to get better.

Cammi: Fully and if it's not cultivated as well, I mean, you have to have the right people above you and leading you and coaching you to believe in just playing and not just playing for- to be this best. There's a lot of pressure on kids these days and I think about your boys and knowing your boys and, and getting to know Quinn better since he's been out here as a person. Your kids are such great people. They're so well-balanced. They're such they get it. Like when they met Reese and Riley, my sons, they get it. They look kids in the eye. They joke around. They look adults in the eye. I mean, there's- they're just great kids. The other thing I noticed about them and and before I let you comment is when they play, when things are not going their way, they go straight ahead, like there's no pouting, there's no emotion. I mean, of course, we get emotional about the game, but as far as like, you know, what you taught them, like, where did that come from, that confidence and that humility and then that just that drive inside to just keep going?

Ellen: Well, you are awfully kind. And, you know, it's like, up and down. You know how parenting is right. And, you know, for me, it's the competitiveness. You both were uber competitive, Olympians, got to the highest level, accomplished so much, gold medals. So you know, that competitiveness. So you instill that in your children. You don't realize that you're doing it, but it just organically happens. Right? I'm sure. And AJ I see some of the fun things that you do, but I'm sure it's competitive at dinner, whether it's, you know, Boggle that you're playing or - I aged myself. But you know what I mean? Or Jenga that you're playing or if it’s a race, or- everything is a game at my house! Like, Luke and Quinn this summer. We had a lot of time together and they're creating a game out of nothing in the pool. We're like - Jack and I are looking at each other like, ‘What are those two doing?’ Like, it's games and there's a winner and there's a loser. So for me, I think it's more about they really care about winning. They really want to win. And in everything’s a team sport and they wanna - They take it personally. They want to be the best that they can be to help their team win. You know, whether it's giving something up and feeling bad about that and wanting to get it back. And that's probably the same mindset both of you had as Olympians. Is that fair to say? 

AJ: Yeah. I mean, I think that that is, you know, the ultimate drive to compete is something that I'm not sure can be cultivated. Right. I mean, I think you but what what is so impressive about your boys is that the balance that Cammi’s talking about. Right. That confidence and that drive to compete coupled with the humility and on seeing them being interviewed, seeing the way they carry themselves at a very young age, that that's what I think is, you know, you and Jim should be very, very proud of. But I do think that that drive to win and it's not win at all costs, but it's win whether it's the right way or as a part of the team. I think that that is something that can be very unique. And obviously they come from two very competitive elite athlete parents. So they were, they were given that at a young age. I was just reminded while you were- we were talking about Quinn, last year in the playoffs, do you remember getting a text from me Ellen, when I talked about in on the broadcast, I talked about Quinn, he was so relaxed playing the power play that it was like he was playing shinny hockey. S H I N N Y and I got blown up on Twitter that people thought I said he played S H I T T Y hockey. That I was like, ‘oh my God, the Hughes family hears me on NBC telling like’ and it was a compliment. I mean, it was like the utmost like, this is amazing how great he is that, you know, as a young player in the NHL playing with this sort of poise but also like freedom, he just plays with his freedom. And I'm sitting there thinking and my producer was like, “You can't use that term. That's such a hockey term.” Like, who doesn't know shinny hockey? But anyway, that was just so.

Ellen: So I laughed at that when I got your text and I think I wrote back like, “it's okay if you ever want to say he's saying the other - the S H hockey too.”

AJ: I would never say that.

Ellen: You know the game, you're allowed to say that and we would be just okay with it. We would probably agree with you.

Cammi: So when you're watching Ellen, when you get to watch your kids and I know I've texted you before, I'm like, I wonder if she's still up. But of course, you're watching the games when you're on the East Coast and you're watching them and  watching the West Coast games, probably late at night. Right, with Quinn. And... can you relax? Like, are you feeling like now? Like you can relax? Is it still, like, feel intense? Like, what's the feeling that you get as a mom? You know, I know Luke’s on his way, but like, do you get to see you get to enjoy it all? Do you get to sit back and enjoy it?

Ellen: Let me ask you this. When you watch Riley play and it's a big game and [unintelligible], how do you feel?

Cammi: So do you feel like at every game - do you feel like that every game?

Ellen: Well, your logic tells you it should change.

Cammi: Yeah. 

Ellen: But I think it's just your competitiveness. But I can tell you this. Now my oldest two are at a level where I don't get involved in the hockey anymore, I just really try to be a support system. They don't need to hear from me when they get to the next level. You don't know how many people are badgering them or bothering them or sending texts[?]. And you know, they got here because this point, they got here and they're driving their own business. They don't need to hear from me. Now, do they… Do they lean on Jimmy with hockey? Do I know a lot about hockey? But I just need to be a different support system for them. You know, I need to be an outlet for them and someone that's not going to talk about hockey unless it's something specific. Does that make sense? Like when I talked to Quinn today, it wasn’t about last night's game. It was about other things, you know, he's got enough of last-

Cammi: That makes sense.

Ellen: And he's got this - he doesn't need to hear from his mother, that that ship has sailed. Does that make sense? And I don't mean that in a negative st-

Cammi: Totally, because.

Ellen: It's just that's not what they need and, and that's not what I want to be that - be there for them. That type of support system.

AJ: I don't know how you got away without having one of them play goalie. I'm just going to leave it out there.

Ellen: Well, Luke. [...] Luke in net. and I was telling this to someone the other day, I mean, I got funny stories, like when you say, oh, you guys were great parents. I'm like, Oh, really? Like the time I showed up for this massive tournament with Jack and Jimmy's taken everybody's skates sharpened and I got everybody’s skate sharpened and he was off somewhere. I was going to meet him at the university. I'll tell you one story. So this is just typical. So their cousin was playing for B.C. and we wanted to go to a college game because we want to expose these kids that were growing up in Toronto to what college hockey was, so that that could be an option. So we took ‘em to see B.C. versus Michigan, their big cousin. We're driving down and Jack had this massive tournament, which we thought was massive as a you know, you always think these youth tournaments are massive and have grandiose importance, sorry, because you are at nationals and that is important with your daughter AJ. So Jimmy had said, I think Quinn was going to play in Michigan. And I said, okay, I'll bring the boys down I’ll get the skates sharpened and then Jack and I will leave after the game. We won't tell his coach that, like, we're getting into a hotel in London at one in the morning to drive around- around the lake to get to Buffalo for his 9 a.m. game. So I'm driving to Michigan first so he can see his cousins. And then whereas all the other parents are in Buffalo for that 9 a.m. game spending the night getting a good sleep right. Well I let him come watch his brother play. I left two hockey bags with Jim, of Luke's bag and Quinn's bag and I, Jack and I left after the game. We got into London at like one in the morning. We went to sleep. We got back up at six and off he goes for his game. When we get to Buffalo, I'm like, ‘This is great. I did it.’ And they're playing. I think they're playing Shattuck St Mary's and Oliver Wahlstrom is on the other team just to give you a few names. Right. So because he's an Islander, right AJ?

AJ: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Had a goal last night.

Ellen: And it was a non parent coach. So you don't talk to these coaches. I don't think I had a conversation with them and they're young they’re- I don’t know Jack was an underager so he's playing up a year. And so the coach calls me. He's like, “ Umm... We've got a problem. Can you come back to the locker room?” So I go back to the locker room and he goes, “Ummm Luke skates are in Jack's bag.” You know what that means? Where are Jack’s skates? In Luke’s bag or God knows where, right? So I'm like, agh and they're like, “Where are Luke’s skates?” And like, I think he - I left his bag in Toronto. So at this point. So I look at Jack, I'm like, “What you want to do?” and he goes, “Find [buy?] me some skates.” and I'm like, “Okay, what size are your skates?” So I go around, I find the Chicago mission, and if he was in CCM some guy had a Bauer of a size four and a half or five or six or whatever he was in, and they're like, You can borrow these skates, but our game is offset from yours so you can only play until we need the skates back.

Cammi: Oh my God.

Ellen: Right?

AJ: I'm like, my stomach's dropping listening to this. I know.

Ellen: So he’s in these random skates and sorry to go off on a tangent here, but you saying you were great, You know, we do the same things that everybody else does. So it wasn't a completely tightly run ship. So. But maybe that's the adaptability. So Jack goes out and he plays two great periods, and all of a sudden I see this guy walk around and you see them take Jack's skates off. And this is a tight game and it's a big tournament. And he sits on the end of the bench with no skates for the third period. So here you are. We both have - we all have husbands. So Jimmy’s like, “How was the game?” I'm like, “He played great for two periods and let's just leave it at that.” He's like, I was. [unintelligible] But so anyway.

AJ: Yeah, I think that's building resilience. I think you're right. There is something to be in moment. It's- that's the worst feeling possible. But in retrospect, it's a great story, right? And it's one period of hockey that-

Ellen: [unintelligible] five like that running down the coach whenever Jack's hockey bag and his helmet was sideways like, I hope you guys have stories like that.

Cammi: Oh, man. You know what is funny is, those- that's just part of sport and part of the life where you have that happen. But I do as a kid, remembering, feeling like there was nothing more important. And I remember my brother Tony had just got his license. He was driving me over to a friend's house that was going to take me to an away game. It was about 45 minutes away. He went through a stop sign with just skated through a stop sign, hit the front of another car. I'm in the front seat. No seatbelt at that time. Right. And the first thing he goes, “You okay?” and the first thing I said is, “I'm not going to miss my game, am I?” And sure enough, we had to drive home. Somehow we got home. My mom is pregnant with my younger brother Joey, eight months pregnant, and I somehow cried my way into making my mom get in our trans van massive truck with Tony in the passenger seat, driving through snow to get me to the game, which I got there in the third period. But it was to me it was like, I know that feeling like it's- you cannot miss, you cannot. And I see with my kids too. So yeah, those are the best. Some of those are the best memories actually, right?

Ellen: I'll give you one.

AJ: We spent about five and a half hours driving down here to Philadelphia. My daughter, I think, checked nine times to make sure her stuff was in the bag because I had to. She was at school and I had to get it. She does not trust me at all. I'm like, okay, yeah, you just make sure you got two- a right and a left skate in there.

Ellen: I'll give you one last story. To just - to say, like, like here I am, a hockey mom, thinking I’m going to teach my kids to skate. So when Jimmy was coaching in Boston with Robbie Ftorek, I didn't have Luke yet, so Jack... Quinn must've been three. So I wanted to have some one-on-one time. You know, with your first child, you feel like you have your second child and you just need some one-on-one time. So there was free kindergarten skating at the Reading arena. And so we were living in.. in uh.. oh my god I can’t even remember - right around the corner from there. So anyway, so every Tuesday I would take Quinn to skate and that's how he learned to skate. Like it wasn't like I was teaching him strides, I was teaching him to skate. I was getting him on skates. So I was really proud of this kid. He’d gotten off his crates that he was pushing and blah, blah, blah, blah. And at that point Robbie's parents were still alive. Steve and Ruth and they were amazing. And we would go to the games and, and so they didn't live far from there. So they wanted to come watch little Quinn that they see at the Bruins games skate. And I was so proud that I’d taught this kid to skate y’know, he was standing up on his own, he was pushing, the whole bit. So Steve comes out who had taught Robbie how to skate and Robbie was a great skater and I'm like this particular day, Quinn is terrible. He must have been three. Like he just looked like he had two left feet. I’m like, “he's not skating like, I swear, like he could skate, like, something's not right.” And Steve goes, “Ellen, I think his skates are on the wrong feet.” And they were! Do you know how little skates are? Yeah. How would you know? Like [unintelligible]. So we laugh about that story. So, Quinn doesn't know. He can't communicate to tell me that his skates are on the wrong feet. We sit him down, like literally in the doorway. We switch his feet and off this kid goes. And he's pushing and like a little three year old and he's doing great. So that's one of my many [unintelligible] stories.

AJ: But just to make you feel better, I did that to my son Sam, when he was however old, probably five. We went skiing. It was ski boots on the wrong feet. He kept telling us his feet hurt. And we basically were like, You're fine. It's just ski boots they hurt. And the end of the day I was like, Oh yeah, no, they really hurt. That's actually a legitimate point. So been there!

Cammi: Before we wrap up here and get to our rapid fire, I just wanted to ask you about the couple of times where I've seen the boys play tog- Well they played together on the World Junior team and it was in Vancouver. Jack and Quinn played together. What was that like and what was it like when they played their first NHL game toge- against each other for the Jersey Devils and for the Vancouver Canucks? Can you take us through those two times and what it felt like?

Ellen: Yeah, that's great. I mean, the- we had the fortune of them playing together at the World Junior Showcase up in Kamloops the summer before, leading up, kind of the tryouts. So I think that was my first experience. It was great. It was great. Really competitive. They played together. They were on the same PP that was a ton of fun. They were on the ice together a lot. Then the World Juniors that- in Vancouver, that was great too. But Jack was injured, so he was kind of in and out of the lineup, but it was just really great for them to be able to, as- they're so tight, they're best of friends, all three of them. So I think it was more letting them have that experience together and you know, you're disappointed for them in the way that the outcome was because they were so close to winning a gold medal. But it was super cool. It was a lot of fun. And then when they played against each other it was super special, I think for our family, just because it was the first time we got to share something like that with our whole family, we had a huge crew there. The Devils were nice enough, they were amazing. They had a box there and we were able to have all Jim's extended family there from the Northeast, which is a huge group of people. And Jack happened to score his first goal that night. So that was a relief and great and exciting. And then the next time they played together Cammi we went with you. You had the boys and Ray, and that was a great game, too, right? That was a lot of fun. I think the biggest thing is I like it better when they're not on the ice at the same time, especially with one being a D and one being a forward. I prefer, and it's hard to watch them. I don't know who you guys are, but AJ, your daughter right now at Nationals, is a stay at home defenseman so you watch all the D and you have a good feeling. It's really hard to watch two positions let alone two teams play.

AJ: I agree with that when I think about what you're, what you went through, with that and it's not even allegiance of which team you want to win. It's more what they're doing individually and you can't focus. I think that must have been so cool. Was there added pressure on the boys? Did you notice any nerves that night playing against each other?

Ellen: No, but I don't know what kind of side bets there were. Like. I'm going to need [unintelligible] Haha I could have used a girl so I could get a little more information, a daughter y’know they’re a little more forthcoming. I think it was exciting. They were both very young. I mean, it's crazy to think they entered their rookie year together. I think as they, y’know, hopefully have a really long, sustained career. That's your greatest hope for all of these players that play in the professional sports is to be able to stay healthy and have a long, sustained careers. So I think as they age and- it'll be more and more fun to watch it evolve.

AJ: Now we're talking about Quinn and Jack. Is there. Do you think that there's added pressure on Luke right now because of the successes that his brothers have had?

Ellen: You know, it's funny because I always worried about that with Luke, like, you know, as a parent, you know, I want them to all be successful in their own right. I want them all to have their own passion. I want them to care about school and do well in school and so, you know, you're always like, which one needs what someone will, you know, whatever it is you want to try to support them. And so Luke was really small for a while and he was playing against kids that had already hit puberty. And- and you know, I know you dealt with that Cammi with Riley and then he took off and he blew them like his whole game was a new you know, as soon as that- the playing field was evened. And that's a hard thing to try to nurture them through, you know, like, “just keep going” and “it's okay,” and “you’re gonna have your man strength,” and “you’re gonna have more separation speed because of that,” so Luke was really young and I mean, it took him a while before he grew. And so I wondered in my heart, like, is there pressure on him? Does he feel bad about himself? Like, I didn't know, you know what I mean? So then he made the program, which he just kind of started to take off.

Never in a million years did I think he was going to be 6’2” like you could’ve- I would never. I mean, he was who would have thought he was going to tower over his brothers? He was so late. So we used to talk to him about it, you know, and I used to try to ask, but it's hard to get information. But he drove his own bus and he had his own inner desires and his own inner strengths. And it never seemed to faze him or bother him, which, you know, was- we tried to communicate about it like you guys would as parents.

Cammi: It's so wonderful. I just love your whole family. I love everything you guys have instilled in your boys. I love watching them. We're such you know, we've grown so much closer. We get to see each other more often. And I just yeah, I commend you and totally appreciate all the insight that you've given us today. We've kept you a long time on, but we have our not so rapid, rapid fire, if you don't mind answering some rapid fire questions you can answer ‘em slow or fast. It's up to you. AJ and I seem to go the slow way sometimes with our long questions. But let's put you in the hot seat.

AJ: So, yeah, this means you're coming to the front of the bus. So I don't know if that in the bus or trips that you went on that meant you were in trouble. But I'll say that just.

Ellen: Time out before you go. Where were you guys on the bus?

Cammi: I was in the back on the right, about maybe three seats from the bathroom, two or three seats from the bathroom, and  AJ was up front.

AJ: I was more like middle, but on the other side. So it was like.

Cammi: You were like two rows ahead. Yeah. Yeah, where were you?

Ellen: Cammi. I think I was right where you were.

Cammi: Yeah. Okay

AJ: Not quite far enough back for, like, all the crazy card games and everything like that, right? That was always our bus. There was a lot of shenanigans in the way back of the bus. Actually maybe our rapid fire should be called Go to the back of the bus. That might be a little I don't know, might be a little different. All right. So here we go. Let's start. What is your favorite youth hockey, or any sports since you played a lot of sports, memory?

Ellen: Probably winning the national championship with the Dallas Sting in soccer, which still today is one of the premier club teams in the country. 

AJ: Oh, that's a good one. How old were you?

Ellen: I was probably 15. And then one other thing is we went to China when I was 15. That was a pretty cool experience. Before women's soccer had a national team and they were playing, they were having their first international tournament. And since we had won the club championship they sent us, which is amazing to think they sent a bunch of women to China to play in an international tournament. You know. 

AJ: That’s very cool.

Cammi: How’d you guys do?

Ellen: We won it.

Cammi: You're kidding.

Ellen: There's actually someone that's trying to, I just get the emails, that’s trying to make a movie about it, because it's pretty unheard of.

Cammi: It's amazing.

AJ: That is amazing. So we didn't really get into this. The one thing we were carrying our time up for is that you had the good fortune of having all of your boys home during COVID. Maybe a silver lining to what was going on in the world. Everybody got to be back under one roof. But when everyone's home, what's your go to family dinner?

Ellen: Oh, our go to family dinners, steak. They are all about steak. So steak and pesto pasta with a spinach salad is the go to. They would eat steak every night.

AJ: Oh, that sounds good.

Ellen: Cammi, Quinn’s cooking [?]. Believe it or not, [unintelligible]. When they're allowed to go places next year in Vancouver over you and Ray should-

Cammi: I can keep him honest for that?. Yeah, I know I will definitely. If I know that now. What is he cooking in these?

Ellen: Cooking steak and lots of he cooks some, tuna ahi tuna and lots of peppers and veggies and that's a good thing about COVID. Is that most of these young kids have learned to cook, which is amazing.

AJ: That is amazing. That's actually that is another- that's a good silver lining. I know. Speaking of your three boys, Quinn, Jack and Luke, which one was most mischievous as a kid.

Ellen: And I mean, you know how it is, it's a three month cycle like, just like one needs your attention more than the other when they were little. But um… Quinn and Jack together? This is not rapid fire, but I can remember when they were really level and I don't know. And I've already taken up too much of your time. But I remember Jimmy had taken off to Toronto and, oh no, then he must have been littler than this and Jimmy and I, Luke was just born, maybe six months old, and we heard this rustling. You know, you have that in the baby room, on the other room. And I don't know if this has happened to either one of you. And I'm like, it was like six in the morning. You're trying to get sleep, and I heard something. I mean, “Jimmy, what is that?” You know, So we listen to the voice and they had this grandiose idea that they were going to throw the baby out of the crib, Jack was inside the crib, picking up Luke to hand him off to Luke- to Quinn, who wasn't big enough, it was going tobe a  drop outside the crib. So let's just leave with that. Right?

Cammi: How old were they? How old were they when that happened?

Ellen: Luke was under one because he couldn't get out, right? I mean, it was not a great plan. Then. Thankfully, we rescued them.

Cammi: So if you would have had that nanny cams that are the baby cams, that would have been brilliant to have that on video.

Ellen: Right.

AJ: Good. Some Hughes boy mischief. I like it. Now, of the three, who is the most competitive?

Ellen: Probably, I don't, I can't.

Cammi: Can’t choose, you’re a mom.

AJ: Yeah no I actually we were just talking about the drive to win and everything. I understand that. But it's all three, I guess. Now we you, you mentioned being nervous still, when you watch your boys play, what can you remember being the most nervous you've ever been as a sports parent?

Ellen: Mmm that's a tough one. Probably for me, it's not about the kids. It was more about the team. So, you know, having your kids go through the NTDP you want them to win these big tournaments. So you’re nervous for the group because you want so well, they're representing their country so the World Championships, the World Juniors, I mean, Cammie, you've sat with me and seen me between periods at the World Juniors, so that might be a fair one you can attest to, like, you're like, Really? You probably walk away from meeting with the boys between periods and me. Like, she's a little wacky over there. I don't know.

Cammi: Oh, they love you.

Ellen: You're stressed. Not for your kids. You're stressed for the team in your country. And you want so well, you want them to win! Their competitive side and they're tight. And you’re just on the edge of your seat. More like a fan, I would say, than a mother. So much too. Is that fair to say?

AJ: Yeah. Did you ever coach any of them? 

Ellen: Yeah,

AJ: I think they're so close in age. You. Oh, you did?

Ellen: Yeah. So I coached them in soccer. I coached them in lacrosse, but they played box lacrosse. I didn't coach them in hockey. They would do a lot of spring hockey. What I would do is get on the I would just buy outdoor ice like and I would run the skates. But when I say I would run the skates is, I would get out of the way. I would turn the nets. Three on three, three on three, three on three, no direction, just let them. And then it was more, you know, just playing, like the environment, the competitors setting up the competitive- competitive mini games. So that type of stuff as extras.

AJ: The last question we have for you is what advice would you have to hockey parents out there or what kind of motto did you guys, would you say you followed?

Ellen: You know, who gave us really good advice, especially as they got older were Keith and Chantal Tkachuk. They were amazing role models for us. Quinn was fortunate enough to live with them and, and Keith always. They always said it, just be a great teammate, be a great human being, great- be a great person and work hard, be one of the hardest working. Get out there and have fun. You know, I know it's easy to say, but there's so many great things you can do in this life. There's so many greater things you can do in this life. You know, you find your passion, find lots of passions and be you and follow your heart in whatever it is that your [passion is like, live it, eat it, drink it and be it. I mean, I think those are the same advice that both of you as past Olympians give your own children.

Cammi: That's wonderful.

AJ: That is, that's awesome. And you are so awesome. I love hearing the sort of inside scoop from the first family of hockey, the Hughes family, and everybody's favorite hockey mom, Ellen Hughes. But at the same time, I love also taking that little walk down memory lane to make sure everybody remembers what a stud you are.

Ellen: Well, I so appreciate it. And I'm having so much fun listening to you two on your podcast. It's amazing what you're doing. I think you're amazing human beings. You both know how I feel about you and my admiration for what you've done for the women's game and what you're still doing in the game of hockey is so cool and you're both trailblazers. And I love this podcast and I love the guests that you have on. I take myself out of that like I don't fit in the realm of guests. 

AJ: Yes, yes you do. 

Ellen: I'm just saying that in the heart of hearts, I love the guests you've had on, and keep rocking it. You two are amazing and I'm lucky to have you as friends. And AJ, I laugh. I think about watching you at the Olympics and Cammi and I already had a relationship because we played together. And then I think about you today. And it's incredible.

AJ: And you are. I do remember you paved the way for us, but I do. I'm glad. I think you're buttering us up just in case I say, I will say anything negative about your sons on the ice, which so far I haven't had to because they're such superstars. But, you know, don't hold it against me if I do.

Ellen: You know, And then and hopefully things will get back to normal and we'll be traveling and I'll see you guys one day.

Cammi: Well, Ellen, thank you so much for being here. We were so happy you joined us and we'll have to have you on again at some point. And when the whole quarantine is over, well, I'll be looking forward to when you come to watch Quinn in Vancouver here.

[thatsnotfriendship]

Applejack is the mum friend. The one who grew up too fast and is feeling all these responsibilities and pressures to be at her best in order to take everypony (as an effect of her dead parents).

Sure, she has Big Mac, but one pony can only help so much. I think she feels like she always needs to be on her best and refuses help. She’s the type to start suppressing fever symptoms or stop eating so that her family can.

In canon,*cough* To run away when she thinks she hasn’t made the criteria or *cough* to always think of her family first when she has money/an opportunity.

Examples: Grand Galopping Gala, The Last Round Up.

Rainbow is the pony who feels the need to prove herself. An amazing analysis by @/appledashdailydoodles suggests she felt the need to be actually good because her parents saw everything she did as the best thing ever.

Example: Like, legit the whole of Parental Glidance. I could go into more depth but I think I'm actually dissociating right now. Sorry. Maybe I'll go into more detail in the future.

Anyway.

The pressures: AJ feels the need to always be on her best, maybe even sometimes the best and Rainbow feels the need to be the best and actually good. Sure, maybe when they compete they just enjoy the competition, the action, the thrill, the victory or simply annoying the other but things like this really shape a person and their upbringings could have an effect on it.

Maybe competing (especially winning) is a break for them. Or maybe it brings them fufillment and happiness. Maybe it’s both.

I love these two. The Mane6 are all so great, and this is just another example of fact that they all compliment each other so damn nicely.