#actually she's totally not but that's what getting sudden adult supervision is for

[haospart]

New babie. To be stolen by @tearlessrain and @mercurypilgrim bc someone needs to look after the child.

Jem and Mittens have they dayum hands full with this one jfdklasjfa.

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(Shameless Promotion)

Comms are OPEN still-- and we still got that sale goin on-- just head into the link to see my prices

->LINK HERE<-

[memoriashell]

with age comes wisdom ( or at the very least, entirely unneccessary celebrations )

Characters /  Pairing: Fukawa Touko / Naegi Komaru ( focused ), Syo / Komaru, Warriors of Hope

crossposted on ao3

Notes: happy @tokomaruweek week everyone!! i love these funky wlw so i am going to try and have some stuff up this week, but i probably won’t manage to do the whole week / i'll go back to do the ones i miss afterwards? we’ll see.

for today i decided to combine the birthdays + warriors of hope prompts.

i’m also just ignoring canon’s timeline bc god knows i did not want to figure out that bs sorry dr3 ily but i dont love you that much just know it is somewhere post sdr2 / pre dr3 probably?

i also use they/them for syo ( nonbinary hc ) and while there aren’t any specific trauma mentions, given the group of characters this revolves around, there’s refrences to the fact they have shit lives. and some lighthearted murder jokes and self-deprication?

Summary: nothing says happy birthday quite like babysitting her ( favorite ) group of brats

It’s just her luck that this would happen— a coincidence for sure, but that doesn’t make Touko any happier about the whole thing.

This is the situation: they don’t usually see the ( former ) Warriors of Hope much. The kids stay on their side of Towa, and her and Komaru tend to stick closer to the adults. The adults are the ones that need to be kept under supervision, in her opinion. Not that the kids are blameless, but is there much reasoning with brainwashed kids? No. Of course not. Are the adults also practically brainwashed and hard to reason with. Yes. Would this all be easier if Future Foundation was involved? Yes. Yes it would, but for obvious reasons they are not ( they have all agreed to omit some information from public record for the sake of those involved, and right now Naegi’s stunt with the Remnants have Future Foundation’s attention away from them ).

Sometimes Komaru takes some of the things that they get over to the kids because things are rough enough as it is, and Syo will go with her because they can keep the Monokuma off their tracks better. Or you know, because Syo is generally more helpful to Komaru when it comes to things like that. She’s not jealous.

Allegedly— Touko does not know this for a fact herself since she hadn’t been fronting, and only learns this second hand while she is in the middle of typing up a report to send back to the foundation— Kotoko is the one to bring it up, casually handing off some of her share of the cookies Komaru had made for them, to Jataro. An early birthday present, she had said ( pointedly ignoring Nagisa, who’d pointed out she had given Jataro the ones he hated ), before turning to Komaru to ask if they could throw a party. A small one. With no murder, because that would be ‘totally not adorbs’. And no adults, because they stink ( it goes unsaid that Komaru and Touko themselves are the clear exception to this rule, which is some kind of progress, supposedly ).

That seemed like a fairly reasonable request, according to Komaru, who’s only response was to ask when his birthday was. And then accidentally lets it slip that hey, that’s the week that Touko-chan’s birthday is! And that’s how Touko finds out that apparently, she’s having a joint birthday party with the kids because Masaru managed to turn a party into a competition, somehow? Touko has no clue what that actually entails, because Komaru refuses to elaborate.

( Also, at one point before leaving, Komaru had tried asking Jataro if there was anything she could get him; to which he’d remarked, “A new mask?”

...Yeah, Touko can’t blame her for not knowing what to say to that, even if Komaru had spun it as not the most self-deprecating thing he could have said, which was an improvement? She personally disagrees, but whatever )

Here, she should point out the obvious fact that she does not want to really celebrate her birthday, let alone have a party for it. Because those kind of things lean so far into the zone of things Touko doesn’t really know how to handle, that it makes her close to uncomfortable. And if— if she had humored herself in imagining how she would ideally spend her birthday this year; quite frankly, it would be very quiet and boring and only with Komaru. Not with a group of ten year olds. Ten year olds that she might think of rather fondly, but ten year old brats all the same.

( It’s not like she has any alive friends: if Touko acknowledges the other survivors, justifiably they are too busy with more important matters to fuss over a birthday. They aren’t kids anymore. Some of them hadn’t ever really been like normal kids to begin with, but that’s besides the point )

“Look at the bright side,” She starts, and she bites back a snide what bright side and remark about how that’s all Komaru’s good at ( it’s not. She’s more talented than she gives herself credit for ). “None of you probably have really positive memories when it comes to birthdays or parties, so even if it isn’t the greatest, at least the bar to please should be pretty easy to clear!”

Touko thinks she probably gets the point she is trying to make here, but Komaru’s complete and utter lack of tact doesn’t make for the best delivery. “Are you trying to...to make me feel bad? S-So sorry my life was complete sh-shit growing up.”

“No! That’s not what I meant at all!” Komaru pouts at her. “Does that mean you’re not interested in having a party?”

It’s not like she’s so cold-hearted and selfish that she’s going to say no to that. Well, no, that’s not quite true, Touko might be just that; but it doesn’t really matter either way, because Komaru gives her best kicked dog impression, so she says ( a less than enthusiastic ) no, she doesn’t mind, yes you can have a party; even if she thinks she’ll probably regret that choice.

Okay, if you are to be honest with herself, some part of Touko that never got to be a normal child doesn’t entirely mind the thought of a party, even if it’s...not the most ideal scenario, the impractical fantasy situation that lives in her head. But if she says that aloud, Komaru will either take it too seriously, use it as an excuse to celebrate things more often, or something else that probably has consequences that she doesn’t want to think about. And also admittedly because if she says it aloud, she has to acknowledge it, and maybe she doesn't want to get her hopes up over something as stupid as a party.

( There’s also the fact that, deep in her extremely repressed memories of Hope’s Peak before the tragedy, she does remember parties. Birthdays. Celebrating things with her classmates, if somewhat forcibly so. She has no desire to remember those things, so those feelings remain repressed with most of her trauma )

It’s easy to not acknowledge any of that when she has to deal with the sudden onslaught of a headache that is Syo forcing themselves into their shared headspace, hand rubbing at her temples. Not trying to co-front, she can tell they aren’t trying to snatch control from her ( for now ), just forcing her to pay attention to them. It works, even though Touko has told them to not do this specifically because of how irritating it is for her.

I could scare the kids into cooperating? It’ll save us a headache and a half! Syo offers, maybe too eagerly. Their ideas of scare and cooperate are probably different from her own. Still. She also knows Syo is aware of more than they are letting on, given that they had been present when this conversation had occurred, but she doesn’t think she’ll get much out of them in that regard.

No. Touko tells them firmly. It’ll be counterproductive, Komaru won’t let you do that, and they’re all traumatized enough without you adding to that.

Boo, you sure about that? Consider it a birthday gift from me!

No. She repeats herself sternly, and she feels them withdraw a bit after that. Ugh, Syo hasn’t had a chance to front much recently, now that she thinks about it. Since they usually only take over when she’s in danger, and she hasn’t really been in ( as much ) danger now that things are starting to calm down. Well, relatively speaking. Syo is probably just looking for an excuse to be allowed to front, since it’s probably rough going from being very present to rarely getting the chance to be out: akin to going cold turkey on an addiction. That’s not exactly her fault ( or theirs ), but maybe she’ll ask Komaru if she’d be okay with hanging out with Syo more, if only to placate them a little, before they try something more drastic.

“Everything okay? That was Syo, right?” She hears Komaru ask after a few minutes, and Touko rubs her eyes and blinks. “You looked a little frustrated.”

She considers telling her the truth, but no point in getting her concerned over nothing. She’d like to figure out what she wants to negotiate with Syo firstm so she’ll leave that conversation for another time. “Fine. They just...ugh, just wanted to make sure I was okay with it.”

“And you are okay with it, right? You aren’t agreeing just because I asked?” Touko thinks she begged more than she asked, but she’s pretty sure Komaru will only sulk if she brings that up.

“I wouldn’t let you if, if I was really opposed to it.” Probably. She...trusted Komaru, or something like that, so she figures she’d probably be more honest with herself and not mentally torture herself by putting herself through something she has no interest in. “But...what are you even planning on doing to celebrate? I can’t im-imagine we’ve really got much around here that we can use for a party.”

“Ah. Uhm.” Komaru looks a little embarrassed at that. “About that. I was kind of hoping you and Syo might help pitch in. You don’t mind, right?”

You’re hopeless, she wants to mutter, but—

Yeah!!!! Syo wakes right back up upon being mentioned, no sense of self awareness at all, much to your annoyance, but it’s not like you completely disagree with the feeling that is shared between you two.

“You— You really bit off more than you could chew, hm...? Good thing this wasn’t supposed t-t-to be a surprise.” She quips, leaning over to peer at the paper she’d been making her notes on. “We’ll help, just tell us what we...what we need to do.”

“Thank you, Touko-chan! And Syo too!” Komaru sounds somewhere mixed between grateful and relieved, and casually plants a kiss on her cheek as if it’s no big deal—

She said my name last, so the kiss was for me! She knows Syo is intentionally trying to provoke her and get a rise out of her ( yeah, a rising sense of jealousy ), but puts that aside for the time being because Komaru’s blabbering on like nothing happened.

“I know we probably won’t have the whole day to ourselves to do whatever—” Correctomundo, Dekomaru! “— but I’ll make it up to you on your birthday, okay? We’ll do something that you want.”

“You don't...there’s no need for that.” She forces out between gritted teeth, trying to ignore the flustered feeling in the pit of her stomach, chewing around a fingernail ( what an unattractive sight to follow that ). “Because— ugh, don’t repeat th-this, okay? What I want to do is spend time with...with you. That’s all. So don’t go...you don’t need to go out of your way trying to do s-s-something over the top. Stick to being normal.”

“Really? You’re sure?” Komaru sounds a little uncertain, but happy enough to pull her into a hug, despite her grumbled complaint. “Oh, but Syo has their own birthday, don’t they? So I should probably ask them what they want as well, right?”

“Don’t make me repeat m-myself. It’s embarrassing...” Touko huffs, but lets herself be held against her side, just for a moment. It’s nice, though she won’t admit it ( it is better than any real gift that she could receive ). Syo is kind enough to back off long enough to let her have this moment. “You can ask them later— focus on, on what you need to plan.”

By something short of a miracle, they are able to pull together a party that is not a complete disaster, even if Komaru probably has a point when she says the bar to clear is a pretty low standard for all parties involved. The closest she has to an actual concern is the very narrowly avoided fight that almost breaks out when Masaru and Kotoko fight over which one of them should give their present first— which is apparently the competitive aspect of the party? It’s probably meant to be heartwarming, if it were not such a foreign thing to Touko. Which Nagisa is quick to put an end to: because this is how they would treat Monaca, which is not inherently healthy, and she’s glad that at least one of them can recognize that fact now. Jataro spends the entirety of the fight trying to hide behind her long skirt and, relatable kid, and rubs the top of his head while Komaru tries to both scold them for fighting and appease them because they’re, well. Kids. Who still need to learn some things and have time to unlearn things.

So yeah, it’s a good party— for not being on her actual birthday, she’ll consider it one of the better memories Touko has associated with the day. The start of many, she’d like to hope.

[lou-is-creative]

Unpredictable (pt11)

ꜰᴀɴᴅᴏᴍ: 6 Underground

ᴍᴀɪɴ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ: Four/Billy // Eight/???

ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ: Four/Billy x male!Oc

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 10: Play by the rules

ꜱᴏɴɢ:   Bishop briggs - white flag

𝔹𝕖𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤, 𝕡𝕝𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕖 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕡𝕣���𝕧𝕚𝕠𝕦𝕤 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤. 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕔𝕒𝕟 𝕗𝕚𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕞 𝕠𝕟 𝕞𝕪 𝕞𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥!

AN: Pic isn’t mine

Crinkled bedsheets, head buried in his pillow. Bare skin against soft fabric and the faint scent of him. It was peace and it was safety, and it was comfort.

Eight twisted slightly. He titled his head to the side, eyes still closed. He was awake for a while now. But he refused to open his eyes. His abdomen rested on the mattress while his arms were crossed under the pillow he was holding. Only his lower body was covered by the white blanket, but he was too lazy to pull it up.

The room next door seemed just as peaceful as his. Seemed, because within one of the two persons laying on the bed, there was no peace at all. Fours eyes were opened. He was staring at the ceiling. His thoughts were rambling through his head.

There he was, laying right next to a beautiful woman who rested her head on his chest, peacefully sleeping, and still, he couldn't stop thinking about the boy next door. The boy whom he went outside with in the night, the boy who made him laugh all the time. The boy who became his best friend, although they didn't know each other for long yet.

Thinking about it, about him, Four got awfully aware of the fact that he actually didn't know his friend at all. And he didn't know him. They didn't know each other’s names and they didn't know the shit they've been through. Why was Eight this good with knives? Why did One call him a good driver? Why did he choose this car? Why did he live with his grandparents? And why was he so encouraged to end this mission so fast?  Was it something personal?

"Billy?"

Amelia's voice was soft but it struck him out of nowhere. He blinked and turned his head to her so he could face her.

"Since when are you wearing that?"

She asked confused and Billy looked down on himself, realizing that he hadn't undressed as he came back inside. He was still wearing Eights Hoodie which was a little tight for his taste and height. And he was still in his boxershorts.

"I went to the bathroom in the night and fell asleep like this again."

He lied as he looked down on himself. Amelia stroked over the fabric, thinking a little.

"I've never seen this one on you. It looks quite new as well."

She played with the rim of the pullover, revealing a little bit of Billy’s stomach.

"It's uhm, I just grabbed it, I guess. Maybe it's Eights and it fell out of his bag. I should return it."

The girl looked at him, a brow raised.

"Why would it be in your wardrobe then?"

"I... threw all the clothes I had into the wardrobe again so my room would be clean. This must have been a mistake. Must have grabbed it along with other stuff and just threw it inside the wardrobe."

He mumbled and sat up, rubbing his eyes a little and yawning.

Amelia scanned him and sat up too, holding the blanket up to cover her body.

"Where are my clothes?"

She asked and Billy blinked shortly before he realized that she wanted him to search for them. And so he did, collecting all the items he could find.

While Amelia got dressed, the blonde man grabbed a shirt, fresh boxers and pants to do the same.

It was quiet between them. At least until Five stood up.

"So... What are we?"

She asked unsurely while she fixed her hair. Four turned around, one brow raised.

"Human?"

He asked back and Five scoffed while shaking her head.

"No, I mean, what's between us, what... are... we?

"Ah that's what you mean."

Four said, turning back to face his wardrobe. His heart sank right into his pants as he bit his lip. What could possibly be the correct answer? The one where both of them were happy?

"We are friends, right?"

He paused for a second.

"I don't want this to change anything between us."

Unsurely, he turned around to face her again. Just to realize, that whatever the right answer would have been, it wasn't his. Amelia looked a little hurt. She definitely wasn't happy. But before Billy had to come up with something to fix it, someone knocked on the door.

"Hey Four, you wanna go get groceries with me?"

It was Eight. Fours eyes lit up. Never had someone opened a door faster than the blonde in that particular moment.

"Groceries?"

He asked and grinned at Eight. He looked at him for a while, taking everything in, every detail about the small boy with the slim but yet muscular figure. He was wearing a pullover today. A dark blue pullover with a small rose printed on the left side of his chest.

"Yeah, I just wanted to grab some food to realize that there was no food to grab. I asked One about it and he told me to get some, so that's kinda what I'm doing now."

Eights left hand nervously fumbled on the skin on his neck.

"And I was curious whether you'd accompany me?"

His soft voice was different today. He sounded a little more... how do I describe it? Tender? But Four didn't mind the sudden change of sound. He just nodded.

"Of course, I'm totally in!"

It still is a mystery to everyone, why Four never really noticed how relieved Eight looked. A cheeky smile spread over his lips, not paying enough attention to notice how Amelia was watching every second of their interaction. To be fair, Four had already forgotten about her.

"Great, meet me at the car, I'll be installing the new licence plate."

The moment ended as fast as it had begun and Four was pulled back into reality by the hand of a woman on his shoulder.

"Seems like your definition of friendship isn't a very common one, isn't it?"

Amelia’s eyes focused on his, pinning him down in the moment, making him weak. He hadn't experienced a glare like this ever since he joked about Eights height as he first met him. It was quite funny how he still remembered his stare more clearly than anything else. How his amber eyes had him pinned against the wall, losing his breath for as long as their eyes locked. All of the sudden, Four had this warm feeling inside of his chest, his hands were tingling.

Must be her, he thought to himself before grinning and pulling her close.

"I said I didn't want us to change. But Friends and... close Friends is something different, isn't it?"

Amelia held her breath for a second.

"I'll be back."

Four winked at her and walked out happily, leaving his 'close friend' alone in his room.

Eight was walking around in the kitchen with Two. Together they both seemed to figure out what to buy.

"Oh, what about alcohol? I think we could use some?"

"Eight, we do have enough alcohol here. Focus on what we have written down and don't buy any more or less than that."

"But it already looks like we have to buy enough stuff to survive an apocalypse? Why not get a little alcohol as well?"

Eight asked, leaning on the kitchen counter.

"I agree."

Four contributed as he was walking into the room, smirking a little. Eight turned around slightly, throwing his friend a cocky smirk back.

"Buy what we need, not more, not less. Understood?"

Two, who held the money they required in her hands, looked at the two younger men with the glare she was well known for. Eight sighed and stretched a little before he gave in.

"Understood."

As soon as Two handed the money to him, she already saw this going downhill. She had had her doubts about the two of them going without supervision and the smile on Fours face just proved her right.

"Play by the rules. We have a lot to lose."

She warned them before they walked out of the door. The half-hearted 'Yeah' from both of them worried her, but not to the point where she would have stopped them.

Three, who had been watching her handle the two young ghosts, wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her cheek softly.

"You'd make a decent mother."

He said and Two scoffed, not knowing whether she'd like to kill him or to kiss him. But she often struggled with this particular question if she was being honest.

Eight and Four were already sitting in the car.

"It's even nice from the inside!"

Four exclaimed excitedly while brushing his fingers over the leather seat. Eight smirked proudly.

"Yeah, it's pretty cool, isn't it? It costed me a lot of money but it was so worth it."

The younger put the keys down and buckled his seatbelt before he started the car and made a sharp U-turn to rush off into the city. Four laughed, adrenaline rushing through his veins as Eight sped up more and more. The music blasting over the speakers was only increasing their feeling of absolute power. They felt unstoppable, mighty and free. They felt like two teens who finally managed to get away from their toxic households.

As soon as a street was remotely visible, Eight had to reduce the speed drastically. They didn't want to get caught. Four turned down the volume of the music, grinning at Eight and Eight grinned back. They might be two adult men, but they were as lost in the moment as two teenage boys who finally found their freedom.

"That was so fucking cool!"

Four exclaimed as he looked at his new best friend.

"That was nothing!"

Eight started laughing a little before he turned his head to face the street. His navigation system was on mute, he only looked at it from time to time to take the right road.

"What do you mean, nothing?"

Four asked interested and leaned back while looking at Eight.

"Can you go faster?"

Eight nodded and smiled. He seemed to be remembering something.

"I don't know if I am allowed to tell you, so we are going to exchange some information. I will know something about you and you about me, deal?"

Fours smile turned into a big grin much faster than he could comprehend the complete meaning of the sentence.

"Okay, you go first!"

The words spilled from Eights lips quickly. Probably because he was still unsure whether this was a good idea to begin with. Four let out a soft hum while thinking about the information he was about to give to his friend. The low voice of his combined with the vibrations caused by the hum itself had Eights body shiver of a second. He enjoyed the feeling a lot. Maybe even a little too much for his own taste. Shallowly, he stroked over his arm to calm his nervous skin.

"As I was about sixteen, I had started with parkour running and I had been skateboarding for more than ten years by then."

Eight nodded shortly before he started to grin slightly.

"I have never seen you skateboarding but judging from the number of years you have been doing it, I assume that you are really good..."

"How old do you think I am?"

"About twenty-two? How old do you think I am?"

"I honestly don't know. I would say about nineteen or twenty, not older."

Silence spread, neither of them knew whether they should reveal their age or not.

"I'm nineteen, but I'll be twenty soon."

Eight started as he took a deep breath. It felt right to open up a little. To allow the bond that was between them to grow. For most of his life, Eight had been lying about almost everything to almost everyone. He had never been the kind of person someone would like to be friends with. Simply because he didn't want to be that person. He had always been an asshole to everyone he met, ever since he was little. Afraid of losing people who treated him well.

Four looked at his friend for a while, not really knowing why he felt so special to be the one receiving this information. Maybe it was because the boy didn't seem to be a person who was bluntly nice and trusting to everyone he had ever met. Maybe it came from Fours inner desire to get to know the man- or boy, as it was now confirmed- better than anyone else.

"I'm twenty-three by now."

As the blonde eyed his friend and driver, he could swear that he saw those amber eyes light up a little. And it felt right. It felt right to tell him.

"You owe me a childhood story."

He then exclaimed and chuckled as he turned away, looking out the window.

"Ah right, nearly forgot about that. Uhm I have been driving since I was little. My grandpa taught me as I was ten and signed me up for child races. I quickly developed good driving skills and found joy in doing what I was doing. Especially since I could earn some money at a young age. Oh, look at that. A supermarket!"

It ended as quickly as it began and Four knew he had no chance to ask for more information. It was more than he expected to get anyways, although he wished it would have been more than that. But Eight was pulling the car over to park and the blonde unbuckled his seatbelt before getting out as soon as the car had stopped. The raven haired quickly followed and got the money and the list from the backseat. Doing the groceries for seven adult people was weird to say the least. Both of the boys grabbed a shopping cart and walked into the store.

"Are we being responsible or not?"

Four asked curiously as Eight pulled his hood over his head.  The other just shrugged, a slight smirk forming on his lips.

"Do you want to be responsible?"

He asked before he started putting stuff in the cart that they would need. Four just laughed a little, pushing his hand in his pocket.

"I never liked being responsible."

"Good. I see we think alike."

Although the two of them had agreed on not being responsible, they managed to buy everything they needed. And stuff they didn't necessarily need. Like Energy drinks, Alcohol and cigarettes. And pudding of course.  The cashier was looking at them as if they were crazy. She jokingly even asked what they were buying this much food for.

"See, our parents think that the apocalypse is close. We are just trying to survive."

Eight answered and Four had to hold back a laugh while putting all of the stuff back in the two shopping carts. The cashier, who now looked even more disturbed than before, just silently continued doing her job. It's needless to say that she was visibly relieved as the two guys left her store.

As soon as they were outside, Four and Eight started laughing loudly.

"That was brilliant!"

Four exclaimed while wiping a tear of laughter out of his face. Eight shook his head as he unlocked his car.

"Have you seen the look on her face?"

He asked and they broke out in laughter again while putting all of the stuff they had in the back of the car.

"Dude, she legitimately looked like we were about to sacrifice her to Satan."

"Well maybe that would have stopped the apocalypse?"

Eight placed the last bag of food in the car and made sure that nothing would break. He didn't want to risk dirtying his car.

Four was returning the shopping carts to their place before taking his next to the raven haired in the car. He closed the door and looked at him.

"What are we going to do now?"

He asked, and his voice was a mixture of disappointment and sadness. He didn't want this little journey to end just there. Eight on the other hand didn't look remotely sad. More like he was up to something.

"Trust me."

He said as he started the car and drove off. A million questions popped up in Fours head but before he decided which to ask, Eight had already stopped the car again.

"You wait here."

The blonde couldn’t even start to complain because the raven haired had already left. They were standing in front of a huge electronic store and it took about half an hour until he saw his friend again. Eight was carrying a huge bag and he was smiling like a complete idiot.

And while Four desperately tried to figure out what the other was carrying, the bag was already on the backseat and Eight on the driver’s seat again.

"What did you buy?"

"A PlayStation."

Fours eyes grew bigger and bigger.

"You must be joking!"

But the other just grinned while looking at him. Without wasting time on thinking his actions through, the blonde pulled him into a hug while mumbling an endless row of thank you's. Eight hesitated shortly, but gave in and wrapped his arms around the taller and laid his head on his shoulder, breathing in the familiar scent of comfort.

The moment ended quickly and as Four let go, he was still smiling. This time it were his eyes that were all lit up.

"Let's get home fast from now on so we can get started, hm?"

Eight grinned and his friend couldn't have agreed more.

It was somewhat evening as they arrived at home. One was already waiting for them in front of the headquarter. His arms were crossed, and his facial expression told them about everything.

"Hurry inside. bring the groceries with you."

Four and Eight exchanged looks but obeyed. One probably finished the planning for their next mission and wanted to make sure that everyone would be ready to listen. Including the two boys who'd rather be playing PlayStation than do just that.

Standing all together, Eight couldn’t help but notice the nasty look of Five, who was -according to the hate in her eyes- trying to kill him with her stare.

“Hey Four,”

Eight whispered, nudging his friend’s shoulder softly.

“Hm?”

Four hummed back and gave the other a questioning look.

“I think Five wants me dead.”

The moment the blonde turned around to face Five, he could only agree. Never had he seen the tender woman throw anyone a look like that. It was almost like he could feel the anger pierce his heart. Eight must feel horrible.

“Why does she look at you like that?”

“Four, Eight, you’ve had your play time for today. Shut up and pay attention!”

One’s voice was firm, almost angry which made both of them stop talking and pay attention to the important things. The pinboard, for example.

“Our next mission…”

The leader tapped on a name on the board.

“is James Thomson.”

[ptw30]

Hunk tries to teach Shiro how to cook, Shiro owes Hunk Cooking equipment.

Sorry this took so long. I originally planned to have this up for Shiro’s birthday but…life. :) Thanks for prompting! 

Fic: Cupcakes and Camaraderie 

Relationships: Hunk & Shiro, past Shiro/Adam

Author’s Notes: Shiro is still the Black Paladin here…cuz.  

Shiro flipped on the light in the mess hall kitchen and cracked his knuckles. Making a few cupcakes shouldn’t be too hard, right? With some whipped cream and what did Adam always put on top? Graham cracker crumbles?

Whatever it was, Shiro was positive he could figure out, and since Iverson was off grounds for a few days to oversee the launch proceedings, Shiro could take all the time he wanted in the Galaxy Garrison mess.

Finding the pans proved more difficult than he thought, and did he really need to use the mixer? Maybe he could conscript the blender. Just what was the difference between a tablespoon and teaspoon? Did anyone really know?

Okay, on his tablet, he found a recipe for “easy red velvet cupcakes with vanilla icing.” Easy. It was in the title. He could totally do this.

Less than ten minutes later, Shiro found himself wiping off an egg, flour, and water mixture from his nose. Maybe he couldn’t do this. He was seventy-five percent sure the batter shouldn’t be gray-green.  

“What!” a new voice screeched, causing Shiro to whirl toward the doorway. “You-You did not just destroy my kitchen!”

Shiro paused from demanding, your kitchen, but it wasn’t like Shiro knew the garrison chefs well. Then again, Shiro didn’t remember ever seeing this cadet or officer before. Dark hair, an orange wrap, and a yellow-accented Galaxy Garrison uniform – what rank did that dictate? – he seemed out of sorts, standing in the doorway, glaring Shiro down.

Shiro dropped his tablespoon – or was it a teaspoon – on instinct and raised both hands. “Look, I didn’t think anyone would notice. I was just trying to – ”

“ – paint every single surface of this place in batter, if you can even call it that!” The man stalked forward, keen eyes glaring down at the green concoction as if it personally offended him. Then he looked up at Shiro – and froze. “S-Shiro?”

“Uh…yes?” He didn’t think he’d met this person before, but ever since the Kerberos mission announcement, so many people knew his name. “I’m sorry. I don’t remember…have we met?”

“…not yet, I don’t think.” The man straightened his shoulders and rubbed the back of his hair. “I…guess that wormhole wasn’t as harmless as we thought.”

“Wormhole?” Shiro echoed.

Before he could ask the person more, the yellow-clad officer replied, “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure Allura and Pidge – um, some people I know are working on it. Anyway.” He seemed happier all of sudden, scrubbing his hands together and smirking at Shiro. “What’cha trying to do here? Don’t tell me. Muffins.”

Shiro smiled with a slight wince. “Not quite.”

“Brownies?”

“Getting warmer…sorta.”

The man huffed loudly. “Please tell me you weren’t trying to make cupcakes. You have pepper in this!”

Shiro glanced away. “I couldn’t find the salt.”

“No, nope. Uh-huh. This cannot happen.” He pointed a sharp finger at a stool near the counter. “You sit over there while I clean up the mess and make a proper set of cupcakes.”

“Can’t I help –”

“No!” The officer sucked a quick breath, offered a gentle smile, and patted Shiro twice on the shoulder. “I mean, thanks for the offer, but why don’t you watch me work for a sec and tell me why you were trying to make some cupcakes? I’m Hunk, by the way.”

“Shiro.” Shiro took his designated seat and plopped his chin upon his fist. “Had a craving. My…uh, ex used to make them for me, but…he’s now my ex, so…”

Hunk began to measure out the ingredients – eggs, milk, butter, flour, salt, and vanilla – and nodded along. “Hard after something like that. What happened…uh, if you don’t mind me asking.”

“I’m, uh.” Shiro looked away, unsure why he felt comfortable explaining to Hunk this situation. It wasn’t like the entire garrison hadn’t been gossiping about it for the last week. “I was chosen for the Kerberos mission.”

“Oh, right! I’d heard that. Congrats, man! That’s awesome. Not sure why that means you have an ex. Isn’t he happy for you? Proud?”

“He didn’t want me to go. And I’m going, so…”

Hunk glanced around the room – looking for what, Shiro couldn’t tell – before reaching for a larger bowl with high walls to pour his current mixture into. “I’m sorry to hear that. Relationships can be hard. My girlfriend and I, we’re positioned on different sides of the…world. It’s hard to send a transmission to her sometimes, let alone actually see her. But she hangs in there, y’know? Good times, bad times. That’s how I know it’s forever.”

Shiro glanced away. “…I thought it was going to be forever. I’ve known Adam since…well, our first year at the garrison. We were flight partners, and then – y’know.”

“And I’m sure in some universe, you guys are still together, but in this one – you chose the stars and Adam chose to leave. That’s actually, really mature. You both decided what you could live with and what you couldn’t, and then you moved on and found someone who wants the same thing as you.”

Shiro blinked and sat up straighter, a knot in his chest unfurling. “No one – No one has ever put it like that before. Even Commander Holt said I should try to patch things up.”

“Can’t speak for Holt but it sounds like you and Adam want different things. And that’s okay.” Hunk hooked the larger bowl up to the mixer, and a high-pitched whirling added a soundtrack to their conversation. “Better to figure that out now than after you’re married.”

“Yeah, yeah. I guess so.” He couldn’t deny he would miss Adam, though, couldn’t deny he already did.

“But y’know, might not be a bad idea to at least try to clear the air,” Hunk offered, separating the cupcake wrappers in the tin. “Maybe apologize that things didn’t work out, not that you’re taking the mission.”

Shiro leaned back on his hand and watched as Hunk poured the batter precisely into each cup, wiping the edge of the bowl with a napkin. “Maybe. It’s still a few months away. What about you? You said your girlfriend lives elsewhere? Are you looking to close the distance?”

Hunk nodded. “Yeah, one day, but it’s kinda important the work we’re doing, my team and me. Shay understands.”

“Hm. Sounds nice.”

“It is, but not everyone has what we have. And not everyone finds it as quickly, either – or at all.” Hunk slid the tray into the oven and started the timer. “But when you do – when you find people who love you for who you are, not who they want you to be – you hold onto them.”

Shiro smiled as Hunk handed him the spoon to lick. “Sound advice.”

“Eh. I have a good team leader who knows his stuff.”

As soon as Shiro finished the spoon, he joined Hunk in cleaning up the thrown batter, despite Hunk’s disapproval. Hunk told Shiro he liked his kitchen a certain way, but Shiro wasn’t about to let someone else clean up his mess without any help.

As they worked, Shiro spoke about the mission, about Keith, about his days at the Galaxy Garrison, and Hunk talked about Shay, about his friends, and about meeting new people and learning new recipes.

The oven dinged not long after they wiped down the last surface, and soon Shiro was humming around a delicious set of red velvet cupcakes. They were the best he’d ever had, and he made sure to tell Hunk such.

Hunk blushed and took a bite of his own mini cake. “Hey, y’know, it might not seem like it now, but it sounds like you have lots of people who care about you, man. If you ever want them to bake you cupcakes, you just say the word. I’m sure they would.”

Shiro laughed, though it was hollow. “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.”

“And maybe – you might want to tell Admiral Sanda or Commander Holt that when they start training on the Mecha Flex Exofighters, they should work with their best pilots, not cadets? That’s just…conducive to saving the world, y’know? Training the best rather than the youngest.”

Halfway through his second cupcake – screw his pre-mission diet – Shiro mumbled, “What’s an exofighter? I haven’t heard of those before – or flown them.”

Hunk winked. “Just trust me, all right? Mention it to Sam. Oh, and do the world a favor, Shiro. Stay out of the kitchen or only use it with adult supervision.”

Shiro would have glared, but he was too preoccupied with the cupcakes. He would do as many sessions at the gym as needed to finish off yet another two or three.

“Shiro? One more thing,” Hunk added just before he exited the room. “Happy Birthday – and many more.”

Shiro snorted. He didn’t know how many more there would be, but he was determined to enjoy the rest of this one. Hey, there was still a good half dozen left. Maybe he’d take a few to Keith and Matt.  

One Mission, Many Wormholes, and Two Birthdays Later

The door to mess hall slid open, and Shiro looked left, then right, before stepping inside. Immediately, the lights flipped on, and Shiro barely held in his screech.

“Hunk,” he managed once he breathed again. “You don’t have to guard the kitchen every year.”

Hunk lifted a tray of expertly decorated and undeniably delicious cupcakes. A few sported little Black Lions while the rest had the head of Voltron. “Yes, yes I do. Trust me on that. Now come on. Get your first cupcake before the rest of the garrison arrives.”

Shiro raised an eyebrow as he selected his cupcake, finger sweep around the edge of the icing. “The rest of the garrison…?”

In less than ten minutes time, the mess hall upon the Atlas was packed with the various teams, including Admiral Allura with her ship crew, Commander Adam West with his MFE Squadron, Prince Lotor with his Sincline generals, and of course, Shiro with his paladins. Black rumbled in the back of his mind, and as he sat among his teams, Shiro smiled and snatched another cupcake or three.

Eventually, he collapsed to the corner of the hall, eyes roaming over the people he held nearest and dearest to his heart. Hunk came to sit next to him and smirked at the wrappers on the table next to Shiro.

“Having a good day?”

“Yeah, yeah. Y’know, Hunk, someone once told me that if I ever wanted cupcakes, all I had to do is ask the people around me.”

Hunk blinked and then shrugged. “Well, y’know, I’m more than happy to –”

“But there’s something special about coming down to a set of cupcakes already made just for me.” He clasped Hunk on the shoulder and smiled. “Thanks, Hunk. It is nice to have people here who love me for who I am, not who they want me to be.”

Hunk smiled. “It is a nice feeling. And my kitchen stays intact. I like that.”

“That’s best for all parties involved,” Shiro laughed.

“Yeah, we wouldn’t be able to form Voltron without its head.”

Shiro let out a quick laugh, which Hunk shared, and decided to assume Hunk was joking. Still, he’d stay out of the kitchen, just to make sure. 

The End

[chemicalmagecraft]

The Gamer Hero, Deku Chapter 15

A/N: I'm back from the dead. Will probably update sometime next year. Have fun while it lasts.

Ultimate Pervy Sage: Yeah that happened offscreen. Figured it was implied and there wouldn't have been much else to the scene, so I didn't write the scene. Will imply that it happened, though.

jeanette9a: Bam, did it retroactively because I'm awesome like that.

Zane Tribal Tyne Alexandros: First off, thank you for the multiple reviews and I really wish I thought of the W.T.F. thing. Second off, as for Hagakure and illusions? Considering the fact that it's your suggestion, you tell me.

xoxoxo

"So now you have ten elementals?" Kacchan asked as we walked. We had a day off from school because of the USJ incident, so Kacchan and I decided to go to an arcade to have some fun and play games.

I nodded. "Yeah, with the six elements I got from Duality. I did all six rituals at once, actually."

"That was probably a fucking stupid idea."

"That's what Blaise said, though with more cussing."

"No shit," Kacchan said. "Seriously, what if that put you in a fucking coma!?"

I shrugged as we started to cross the street. "I felt less tired after summoning the higher my skill level was, and even beyond that Duality raised all my-"

I was cut off by a speeding van ramming into me. It made me take a step back and I took a hit to HP, but otherwise it was the van that was broken by the collision. I pried myself from the dent I made in the car and ran to the driver's side door. "Oh my gosh, are you guys okay!?" I asked. The door opened, and the man inside punched me in the face, which surprised me more than anything, and grabbed me by the neck. "Oh," I said as I felt him hold a knife to my neck.

"Alright, nobody move or this freak gets it!" the criminal yelled. His accomplices got out and brandished knives as well, though thankfully they didn't grab any other hostages. I heard a motorcycle coming.

Kacchan laughed. "You fuckers do realize that you just took the guy who unintentionally totaled your car by getting fucking hit by it hostage?"

The motorcycle sound screeched to a stop, and Present Mic ran up. "Hey! Stop!"

"We've got a hostage, jackass!" one of the villains jeered.

"Hi, Mic-sensei!" I said, waving at him.

Mic-sensei grinned. "Hey, listener! You okay?"

"I'm fine," I said. "Hey, can I ask you something about Quirk usage laws?"

"Sure!"

"I know people are allowed to use their Quirks to get out of situations where there is a danger to themselves, but I... don't actually feel threatened at the moment, so I don't know how legal it would be."

"I'll show you threatened!" the man holding the knife to my neck shouted, then tried to stab me. I say tried because apparently I couldn't be stabbed by normal people anymore, though to be fair the man was trying really hard. I noticed a text box that was probably the reason for that. It looked like I got it when I got hit by the car and just didn't hear it over the sound of metal hitting me. "The fuck?"

"What did I fucking tell you?" Kacchan said.

"I mean, they are trying to stab you..." Present Mic said.

"And let's just say," I continued, "that in my attempt to get away from the person threatening me with a knife I 'accidentally' incapacitate all three of them, can I be arrested for that?"

Mic-sensei chuckled and said, "Technically, you're good because you're being attacked by a weapon."

I nodded, then exploded into electricity. I arced through the three villains with exactly enough voltage to knock them over without causing lasting damage and reformed next to Kacchan. "That good?"

"Great! I'll need to snag you for a couple minutes for some paperwork, though."

xoxoxo

"Okay," I said, coming back to Kacchan. "So where were we?"

He stared at me for a bit as we started walking again. "You're fucking unbelievable," he told me. "You were just hit by a fucking car, then stabbed. What the fuck?"

"Physical Endurance prestiged and I wasn't actually stressed enough for Mantra to deactivate."

"Are you okay, kero?" a familiar voice asked me. I turned to see Uraraka and Tsu walking up to us. "That looked like it hurt," Tsu said.

"Thanks, but I'm fine," I told her with a smile. "As I was explaining to Kacchan, a passive skill of mine that reduces physical damage just reached max level, which means that I now take one fourth damage from any and all physical attacks."

Uraraka whistled. "That's pretty broken."

"Plus, because it maxed out, I got a new passive, Damage Reduction."

Tsu put her finger on her lip. "I think we already have a general idea, but what does that do, Midoriya?" She asked me.

"I'll have to test it, but judging from the description it removes point-five percent of my HP from all damage, which doesn't sound like a lot, but with my VIT that's a lot, especially combined with Physical Endurance. And assuming it levels linearly, that means that at max level it'll take an attack that does more than half my HP without the skill for me to actually feel it, which is pretty good."

"Deku's Quirk is fucking broken, who would have fucking guessed?" Kacchan said.

I chuckled. "Let's talk about something else, though. I take it you like space, Uraraka?"

"How'd you know?" she asked.

Kacchan snorted. "Gee I fucking wonder." Uraraka was wearing a galaxy-print skirt, a JAXA shirt, and a moon-shaped pendant. "Where the fuck did you get that necklace anyway? No offense, but isn't your family poor?"

"This?" Uraraka asked, pointing to the pendant. "It was a birthday gift from my cousin Shōta. He doesn't visit us often, but he always sends us stuff like this." She chuckled. "Mom's always worried he's spending too much on us, though."

"Though seriously, maybe you should've seen about staying with your cousin before you decided to get your own apartment?" Tsu said. "Didn't you say he lives somewhere near here?"

"You fucking what?" Kacchan asked.

Uraraka blushed. "S-so, my parents live in Mie..." Kacchan slapped his face.

"And that's why I brought Ochako-chan home with me, kero," Tsu said with a tone of... something in her voice. Annoyance?

Uraraka blushed a little. "I-it wasn't quite like that..."

Tsu nodded. "So luckily both of our parents were visiting yesterday-"

Kacchan glared at Tsu. "What," he demanded, causing Tsu to make a startled croak.

"My parents' jobs mean they aren't home all the time," she explained, a little faster than normal. "They leave me in charge of my siblings, but at the same time literally the entire neighborhood looks out for us, so don't worry about it, kero. They didn't leave us to fend for ourselves in an unfamiliar environment with no adult supervision Ochako-chan. So I may or may not have not been in the best state at the time, so because I was clinging to Ochako-chan we decided to just have lunch at my house. At some point Ochako-chan's... living situation... came up and now she lives with us. Our parents banished us from the house while they're moving Ochako-chan's stuff into our spare room. So where are we going, kero?"

"Kacchan and I were going to go to an arcade," I said. "You don't have to come."

"Nah, that sounds pretty fun and neither of us had actual plans other than the fact that I wanted to see if I could spot Ochako-chan's cousin in the wild, kero."

Uraraka made a little noise and pressed her index fingers together. "We have several thousand yen in coins, Deku's Quirk counted. Don't fucking worry about it, Uraraka."

"Thanks..."

xoxoxo

"Damn it!" Kacchan groaned after I beat him easily yet again in the old Street Fighter game. Tsu and Uraraka went elsewhere after Kacchan challenged me. "How the fuck are you so good at this all of a sudden, Deku?"

"Sorry, Tactician keeps activating," I apologized.

"Well I'm gonna fucking beat you anyways! Let's go again!"

I opened the skill boxes for Tactician and Mantra and read them closely. "Hang on, I might be able to cheat the system."

Kacchan snorted, then put another coin in the machine. "Whatever." I took a deep breath, then chose my character. As the match started up, I reminded myself that it was just a game, and that I didn't need the boost. Even when Kacchan got me locked in a combo, I never got the same feeling of clarity and rush of information that I became accustomed to with the repeated activations of Tactician. I just barely managed to beat Kacchan, and by the time I was done Mantra and Tactician both leveled up despite the fact that Mantra wasn't that near level up and I specifically didn't use Tactician. "I'll get you next time, Deku." He put in more coins for a rematch.

"So apparently Ochako-chan's actually monstrously good at fighting games," Tsu said once we were done. It was even closer, but I still managed to beat Kacchan.

"I might have almost accidentally used my Quirk on the machine once or twice," Uraraka added, blushing slightly. "That would've been bad..."

Kacchan stared at Uraraka for a moment, then popped some coins in the machine. "Right, I wanna see this. You and me, Round Face."

I don't think Uraraka had actually played Street Fighter before. She messed around in the character selection screen for a bit before picking a character at random. When the match started, she hit random buttons and just let Kacchan get some hits on her. "Oi Round Face, you're supposed to fight back," Kacchan said after stopping. "Have you not played Street Fighter before?"

Uraraka pressed the jump button a few times. "In my defense, my family doesn't have a lot of money, so I never really went to arcades. My cousin did get me a couple Pokémon games for birthday and Christmas presents, though." She started doing some attacks.

Kacchan twitched. "'Kay, no offense, but I don't really feel like curbstomping a total newbie right now. 'Specially one I'd actually be willing to call a friend. Might feel a little bad."

"Oh, don't worry. I think I've figured it out now." Without any more warning, Uraraka launched a near-perfect series of attacks on Kacchan. To be fair, I think it was more Kacchan's sheer astonishment than anything else that made him unable to fight back, but Uraraka still wiped the floor with him.

"Yeah that was my first match with her too," Tsu told me when the round ended. "The next couple rounds are even better." As Tsu said, the next round was a close win for Kacchan, followed by a close win for Uraraka in the tiebreaker. In the rematch, Kacchan didn't even win once, even if he came close. Kacchan's really good at Street Fighter, so that was impressive.

"Damn it. 'Nother round?" Kacchan asked.

Uraraka nodded. "I'm having fun." Kacchan grumbled, but put another coin in. That time it wasn't even close.

"How the fuck are you so good?" Kacchan asked.

Uraraka shrugged. "I have no idea but I'm not complaining."

"Right, much as I hate to admit it, you're too good for me." Kacchan looked over at me and grinned. "So's Deku, so let's see how you two fight."

"I'm fine with that if you are, Deku."

I nodded. "Let's go, then." Before we started, Kacchan cackled maliciously and whispered in Uraraka's ear.

"He told her some combos, by the way," Sonia told me. Oh boy. At first I tried to keep from using Tactician to be fair to Uraraka, but after losing a somewhat short first round I changed my mind. Even with Tactician automatically giving me both characters' entire movesets and each button she pressed on the controller, it was surprisingly difficult. I think that the only thing that let me win in the end was the fact that my DEX leveled up from the frantic button pressing and the Mantra I'd been using earlier.

"That was intense," Uraraka sighed.

"I know. Even with Tactician, you almost won," I said.

Tsu smirked and pointed at something. "Hey Ochako-chan. There's a flyer for a tournament over there. Says it's a week from now and there's a cash prize, kero."

Uraraka's head snapped over to where Tsu was pointing. "Cash prize?"

"Dammit, I was gonna compete..." Kacchan sighed.

xoxoxo

Aizawa Shōta sat up in his bed. Recovery Girl would probably have scolded him for doing that if she hadn't stepped out, but between her Quirk and the healing spells Midoriya had taught her, he was mostly just sore. He reached out with his good arm to grabb his phone from where Hizashi put it and opened up his photo album to a picture that he looked at often, even if he had a framed copy back home. It was twelve years ago, a few months before his mother's accident. She'd dragged eighteen-year-old him down to Mie for his cousin's third birthday, and they decided to take a family picture. 

He sighed at the younger Shōta who looked like he'd rather be anywhere else in the world than next to his mother. His gaze drifted over to his aunt, uncle, and cousin. His uncle was a large, burly man with light brown hair, while his aunt looked almost exactly like his mother, though her eyes were a different color and lacked the ability to erase the gravity of whatever she was looking at. Even if his mother was older, they were always mistaken for twins. And his cousin... Sweet, young Ochako already looked so much like her mother, even as a toddler. The only difference was the age and the fact that she had her father's hair. Aizawa looked at a few later photos, pictures of Ochako that his aunt and uncle sent him. He laughed at a picture of Ochako with her sixth birthday cake all over her face.

"What are you looking at?" Thirteen asked him. He always thought they looked a little odd outside of their containment suit, all thin and with pitch-black skin.

"Pictures of my cousin," he responded.

"Ah. Your cousin. You never talk about her much."

"I don't talk to most of my coworkers in general. No offense."

"None taken. So what's she like?"

Aizawa thought for a moment. He really was too secretive. Perhaps it was the concussion or the near-death experience, but he felt like he should change that. "You've met her."

"Oh? When?"

"Yesterday."

Thirteen shot up, then winced and gingerly touched the bandages on their back. "Ow... Who was it?"

"The girl who asked for your autograph."

"Ah. If you don't mind me saying, I didn't exactly... get that impression from you two, if you take my meaning."

Aizawa shrugged, then winced from the pain in his bad arm. He slowly lowered himself back down on his bed. "I see you almost every day and this is the longest we've talked, after we both nearly died. My family lives in Mie. You do the math."

"I see. I always see you with Kayama and Yamada, though."

"I've been friends with them since I was a student here and they basically adopted me with joint custody. They keep dragging me out to do things."

"So she hasn't met you?"

"No, she has. I don't visit often, though, and the last time I visited... Was it really four years ago?" Thirteen stared at him. He couldn't really tell what they were thinking, their face was too alien. "I send them money, though. My family isn't in the best of financial situations, and they don't let me spend too much money on them, but I send as much as they'll let me."

"So if they live in Mie, where exactly is your cousin staying? Mie isn't exactly a short train ride from Musutafu..."

"I... Son of a bitch."

"They told you she was fine and you bought it, didn't you?"

"Shit."

They chuckled. "I take that to be the case." Aizawa reached for his phone again. "Do it later. Hopefully she'll be fine for a day, and if not then at least she has friends, right?" Aizawa nodded. She was getting along well with Tensei's brother. "You, on the other hand, won't be fine if Shuzenji-baasan finds out you've been exacerbating your injuries by yelling at your relatives over the phone." Aizawa blanched and lowered the phone.

"Do you... drink?" he said after a while.

"I think if I didn't I'd die rather soon."

Aizawa rolled his eyes, then winced because his eye still hurt. "I meant, do you drink alcohol? Sake?"

"Ah. Hang on for one second." They sat up slightly, enough to take a sip of the water by their bedside. Then they spat it out. "Are you sure you didn't get hit too hard?"

"Ha ha," Aizawa deadpanned. "I absolutely did, though. It made me introspective. Want to get a beer sometime?"

"Absolutely, but clearly only after the both of us are out of the infirmary."

"Obviously."

"You're getting out tomorrow, yes? I mean, Shuzenji-baasan won't like it, but with her healing you'll be well enough by then and you aren't going to miss your class, are you?"

"No, I won't."

"What will you do, then?" Aizawa picked his phone back up and reopened his photo roll. Then he changed the picture because the picture of Ochako with chocolate icing on her forehead was horrible for any serious insight.

He stared at the family photo from over a decade ago. Ochako looked so young, so happy. And yesterday, she could've died. Aizawa could've, almost did die, before she even got to know him. "Learn more magic, for one thing," he decided. "I'm going to talk to Midoriya."

xoxoxo

I sneezed. Odd, it wasn't that cold and I didn't have allergies. If I was more superstitious, I'd have suspected someone was talking about me.

"How the hell did you still manage to beat me at DDR that last time?" Kacchan asked Uraraka. "You were sneezing up a fucking storm!"

Uraraka sniffled. "I habe no idea."

"Right, I should probably take Ochako-chan home," Tsu said. "It's probably going to be dinnertime by the time we get home anyway. Bye, you two."

"Oh, actually!" I said. "Before you two go, could I ask a favor?"

"What's up, Deku?" Uraraka asked as she rubbed her nose.

I pulled a scroll out of my "pocket." "This scroll contains knowledge on the Illusion Barrier and Space Invader spells. When Kacchan and I defeated each of our bosses for the first time, we got scrolls that I could use to learn a skill related to the boss. We have no idea if it's a side effect of my Quirk or not, though."

"So you want to see if that happens if we go in without you, kero?" Tsu asked.

"'Course, we didn't give it to any of our classmates because my Illusion monsters were made of fire, meaning it's entirely possible for the monsters to counter the user's element. That's not really a concern with Round Face, though. I didn't see it in person, but I heard you were fucking awesome in the USJ. Protect Tsu, won't you?"

Uraraka beamed at the compliment and saluted Kacchan. "Roger!"

"And Tsu should probably be able to do something about whatever the fuck gravity monsters Uraraka's insane magic spawns."

"I'll take that as a compliment, kero."

"Yeah most of the time Kacchan compliments people like that..." I said. "You two will do fine, though maybe Tsu should get a water elemental?"

"Yeah, I got one, kero. I was gonna show everyone tomorrow. Though if I may ask, how did you have that scroll on you?"

I chuckled. "That's actually from an elemental that I recently summoned," I said.

"One of six," Kacchan interjected. "All at the same time."

"That probably wasn't the wisest idea," Tsu said.

"I KNOW!"

"Right, so as I said," I said, then sent a mental command to Sonia. She nodded, then "materialized" a pair of floating turntable-like devices. "Huh. At least now I know who was reading Homestuck on my phone," I thought. She started fiddling with the records and gave me a very Strider-like nod. She somehow managed to mess with my BGM in addition to setting up a very subtle noise distortion field like I asked. "One of my elementals, Juniper, can control any organic material, with enough control that she can turn part of a tree into a pre-written scroll. Add that to the fact that my most recent upgrade to Summon Elemental actually granted my elementals some of the benefits of my Quirk, which includes shared Inventory when in range of me, and I was able to get that scroll for you guys from a nearby tree."

"You really play it fast and loose with Quirk usage laws, don't you, Midoriya?" Tsu said. Kacchan snickered.

"Yeah, that's fair." I had Sonia cut the field, causing me to hear a scratch that was hopefully just my Quirk before the normal BGM resumed. "Right, good luck you two."

"Try not to die," Kacchan added.

"We won't," Tsu said.

Uraraka waved at us as she started to walk away. "Bye!"

xoxoxo

A/N: By the way, JAXA, unless I am very much mistaken, is like Japanese NASA. I've seen a lot of Uraraka fanart where she's wearing NASA shirts, but I figured JAXA would be a better fit because she is Japanese.

And you can probably tell from how I wrote the Street Fighter scene that I've never actually played a Street Fighter game. Also Uraraka secretly being a genius is a concept that I find deeply amusing for some reason. It started with a tumblr post I made wherein Uraraka won the stock market...

[viobliterator]

coffee date - a dazatsu drabble

it’s my very first completed drabble for a ship! challenging yes, but really fun nonetheless. I hope y’all like it and feel just as fluffy reading it as I did writing it!

Word count: 2860

Ship: Atsushi Nakajima/Osamu Dazai (Bungo Stray Dogs)

Summary: they go to a coffee shop after a boring case what more is there to say

Today definitely seemed to be an easier day at the Armed Detective Agency. It seemed as though the citizens of Yokohama were indeed capable of going one day without committing crimes that would need the organization’s attention. Accidents and natural emergencies surely went on, but organized crime, terrorism, and other forms of violence in the city were reduced.  Even the ruthless Port Mafia appeared quiet on this particular day.  This, agency member Osamu Dazai didn’t seem to mind, as he had no problem slacking off at the office with his favourite pair of headphones, inducing Doppo Kunikida’s scrutiny. In light of this, Kunikida sent Dazai and his new subordinate, Atsushi Nakajima, to the one case that demanded the specialties of the new agency member.

A man’s (adorable) cat had climbed up one of Yokohama’s tallest trees, and was stuck. The feline had reached a height that even the city’s fire department couldn’t reach. However, since Atsushi had the power to turn into a white tiger at will, all he had to do was climb the tree in question, rescue the cat, and land on his feet like the graceful creature of the wild. Of course, solo operations are only issued under special circumstances, and Kunikida wouldn’t allow Dazai to laze about yet again. He had him supervise Atsushi in this particular job. After all, it would keep the slacker from causing any more mischief than he already had this past week alone.

                                             ------

Now that the entire debacle with the adventurous cat was over, the timid, white-haired cat in human clothing named Atsushi seemed to be free for the day. And since he had nothing more to do, the same went for Dazai. He previously had the idea of spending the rest of the afternoon searching for a beautiful woman to perish in a double-suicide with, but a sudden flash of what happened earlier with the cat sparked something in him that seemed quite unfamiliar…

When Dazai saw Atsushi holding the nonchalant cat that he’d rescued in his arms, Atsushi was smiling. He looked so proud of himself, and even held his chin up when other locals had come to see what happened and celebrate the boy’s accomplishment. He had even shared some sort of familial affection with the kitty. It wouldn’t have surprised Dazai if Atsushi also had the ability to purr with the way he saw him cuddling the cat. It was just so cute, he couldn’t help but smile. Something about that seemingly mundane event ignited a sort of candle’s flame in the man’s heart.

A heart?

Who knew that a man like him even had one?

Dazai couldn’t bear the idea of parting with Atsushi now. The thought physically hurt in his chest and he felt his stomach sink at the mere idea. He had to spend more time with him. Just a little more. The feelings that simmered up had suddenly put a stop to his previous plans of searching for a passionately suicidal dame. Was there some sort of animal magnetism that came with Atsushi’s ability that he didn’t know about? How else would someone be able to hook onto the former mafioso’s heart like a fish to a tasty lure? But no matter. He had this little kitten all to himself, and that was all that mattered now.

       The pair had been walking down a street that was hustling during this lunch hour, and a lot of people were also walking their dogs, much to Dazai’s dismay as he hated mutts at the best of times. A large red and white dog, that could have easily been his match in the height department,  had even tried to jump on him in excitement. It took every fibre of his being, not including his tightly wrapped bandages, to hurt the poor creature and its owner. However, the moment he eyed Atsushi giggling and petting the giant furball without a fear in the world, he managed to ease up. He was trying to be a good man now, and Dazai decided that he’d let by-gones be by-gones...

For the moment.

A few minutes had passed, and as the pair walked along, Atsushi had momentarily lost sight of his mentor as they walked, and turned his head to check if he had disappeared. He hadn’t. He had only stopped in his tracks a few feet behind him, looking lost in thought with his hands idly sitting in his coat pockets.

“Dazai? What’s wrong?” He asked.

“Actually...” The older man replied. “I’ve got a splitting headache. I didn’t get to have my coffee this morning...” he whined, pinching his nose with his bandaged hand. “The withdrawal is just unreal!”

“Oh, I see…” said Atsushi with a sigh. It’s just like Dazai to get everyone worked up over something so trite. But the boy found it endearing in a way.. After all, he would much rather laugh at an offhand remark than feel the agony of his own demons haunting him anytime.

Dazai directed his hand in the direction of a modest storefront ahead with a blue octagon on the front window. It was the logo of the shop. “Say, do you want to get coffee? There’s a nice little shop right here; we’ve got some time to kill until Kunikida calls us back. And besides,” Dazai said, starting to trace his gaze downwards towards Atsushi’s shoes, “You look totally beat. I can see your knees shaking.” He called, pointing his index finger in the direction of poor Atsushi’s tired, trembling knees. That cat rescue took a lot out of the poor lad, mainly his leg muscles. However, that wasn’t the only reason he felt his knees shaking now.

“Really? Y-you want us to have coffee together?” Atsushi stuttered timidly. An afternoon alone with the man he could call his saviour? Not talking about work, but just about anything and everything? The thought of this kickstarted Atsushi’s heart and it began to race, pounding in his ears like a drum.

“Is there a problem?” Dazai said, tilting his head to one side.

“Oh, no, o-of course not!” Atsushi answered, frantically waving his hands in front of him. “I’d love to have coffee with you Dazai!” The older man’s eyes lit up with the acceptance of this invitation.

“Okay, then it’s a date.” Dazai playfully grinned, slipping his hands into his pockets and walking  parallel with Atsushi once more. The weretiger felt his cheeks begin to flush.

“That’s not what I meant…” “I know. I’m just messing with you, Atsushi.” said the man, with what Atsushi could have sworn was a wink if he didn’t know better. He’d only ever seen Dazai flirt with women, and he was adamantly clear about wanting to die with a beautiful woman in a lovers’ suicide, to an exasperating degree at times. At the same time it annoyed the living daylights out of the boy, it was also just sad to hear him speak such things. It was heart-wrenching to listen to.

Atsushi followed the older man into the coffee shop like a kitten to his master.

“The barista here makes some of the best coffee in Yokohama. And on the weekends they have this carrot cake, and it’s to die for.” Dazai cheerfully explained, emphasizing the word “die” and giving his companion a nudge with his elbow. Atsushi just couldn’t hide the idiotic grin that rapidly grew into a hearty laugh.

A woman with mousy brown hair in a ponytail peeked her head out from under the front counter and saw the two strange men approach. She stood up and smiled, resting her hands on the counter and said a quiet, friendly hello.

“Hey, Kaoruko!” called Dazai with a wave. Atsushi watched the two adults exchange greetings and small-talk. It was fascinating to watch them speak with each other without a hint of malice in their voices or body language. Perhaps one day, Atsushi would be able to be as good as talking to people as his mentor, whom he found himself focused on more as the conversation went on. It was a situation that was totally unfamiliar to the boy who knew nothing but ridicule and abuse. But watching Dazai being friendly with someone was calming to the boy’s heart. So much so, that it almost sent him into a blissful trance.

The barista named Kaoruko had just about finished conversing with the older man when her eyes shifted to Atsushi. Her expression was unclear for the most part, but there was definitely some curiosity.

“Who’s your friend?” She asked with a smile.

“Oh, this is a good friend of mine from work,” Dazai answered with his arm slinging around his subordinate, his hand taking a firm but tender hold on the lad’s shoulder. “His name’s Atsushi Nakajima.” He announced proudly, as though he wanted the whole shop to hear. Atsushi felt himself blush at the words he heard at that moment, and at how close together they were. He felt so safe in his arm, but at the same time like he wanted to run and hide under a table. He couldn’t help but look downwards, but managed to crack a smile for courtesy’s sake.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Atsushi bowed, desperately hoping that the lady didn’t see him blush.

“Same here.” She replied with a gleam in her eye. She turned her attention back to Dazai, asking what she could get for the two.

“An iced dead eye for me, long, if you please.” Dazai declared, as though he were royalty. The barista slightly winced at the complicated drink, and turned towards the boy next to him.  Dazai turned his head towards Atsushi and made eye contact, as if silently asking what he wanted. Dazai’s face was dangerously close to his own, as his arm was still around him.

“Oh, um… just a latte for me, please.” Atsushi answered quietly, somehow managing to keep his cool.

The barista took the mens’ orders, and the two were seated, along with their beverages.

Atsushi and Dazai took their seats next to a window, the older brunette peeling off his classic tan trenchcoat and resting it on the back of his chair. The boy became a little excited, as this meant that they would likely stay for a while - at least until they were called back to the agency. Until then, the were-tiger had Dazai all to himself. The thought was exhilarating. It made him ecstatic, but at the same time it was absolutely terrifying. However, the joy was somehow just barely enough to keep him from cowering in fear.

He was afraid of the situation at hand, but not at the man he shared it with. Slowly but surely, the lad felt himself ease up. His shoulders began to relax, and he noticed his co-worker’s drink. It was the same colour as his dark brown eyes.

“What exactly is that anyways?” Atsushi asked, pointing at Dazai’s coffee.

“An iced dead-eye. It’s a cold brew with three shots of espresso in it. Kaoruko there won’t put any more than that in it though, ever since the time I tried to overdose on caffeine. Good times...” the man exclaimed, with a whimsical sigh.

Atsushi stared at his superior, mouth agape.

Why was he even surprised?

This was Dazai after all. Atsushi started to wonder if there was anything that he hadn’t tried to commit his perfect suicide, and any place he hadn’t tried to do it. He felt bad for the barista and was surprised she hadn’t barred him from coming back.

“So… what ended up happening?” Atsushi asked, knowing he would soon regret the question.

“They told me I was literally bouncing off the walls, like BOING, BOING, BOING!” he exclaimed, waving his free hand in erratic, zigzag motions to tell his story. He seemed to enjoy his telling of the event, seeing as his expression was ironically full of life in a story about one of his many near-death experiences. As morbid as it felt because of the subject matter, Atsushi felt his heart become light and fluttery at the sight of his mentor being such a passionate storyteller and clearly having fun while doing it. He could watch him do this all day if he could. Dazai continued his story, with embellished details continuously added on. When he finally finished, his dark eyes focused directly into Atsushi’s after taking another sip of his drink and he leaned towards him, resting his head on his hands.

“Enough about me, Atsushi.” He said, his voice quiet, but sharp. “I want to talk about you.”

The boy’s heart jumped. Was Dazai about to scold him for something he did wrong? He thought he did everything perfectly today... Atsushi knew this whole situation was too good to be true. The lad’s first instinct was to lower his gaze, but his eyes were locked with the other’s. There was no escaping his gaze.

“How is it that you’re so good with animals?” The man asked, his eyes sparkling with a genuine curiosity. “It's like you're a sort of animal whisperer!” He said, beaming with a child-like admiration.

Atsushi felt himself instantly relax after having been worked up over nothing.

“I don't know, really. I guess I've always been an animal lover. I never really gave it much thought. I guess maybe I see a bit of myself in them...” The boy explained, his voice trailing. “I figure if I treat them with kindness, like how you treated me when we first met, then maybe that would make up for how I was always treated at the orphanage before in some way.” Atsushi blushed. “I know, it's dumb. You probably think I'm crazy or something.” Said the lad, fidgeting with his mug. His co-worker’s eyes darkened and his expression suddenly became serious.

“It's not dumb. And no, I don't think you're crazy.” Dazai said, his voice low and soft. To Atsushi’s ears, his voice sounded as smooth as velvet. “What you're saying is blatantly false. I wish you could just see that and give yourself more credit.” He continued admonishingly, leaning a bit further towards his apprentice.

There was a long pause that felt like a small eternity. The pair never broke eye contact with each other in that time. It seemed like forever until Dazai leaned back into his chair, his lips curling up into a small smile. “I mean, come on. Who do you think you're talking to?”

Atsushi couldn’t help but grin.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing, Atsushi.”

“Sorry!”

Dazai looked at him with wide eyes before he let out a chuckle.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. Nothing at all.” The older man replied with kind eyes. There was another long pause between them. Atsushi felt himself getting lost in the other man’s eyes and his warm smile. He felt all his troubles seem to melt away, like snow in a spring thaw. The boy wished this moment could last forever.

“Speaking of animals, Dazai, couldn't you get Kenji to rescue that cat with his superhuman strength ability?” He went on to ask. Until now he never gave thought into why Atsushi specifically was called to save the cat from earlier. His co-worker Kenji seemed just as capable at rescuing cats from towering trees.

Dazai took another sip of his coffee. As the drink ran empty, slurping sounds echoed through the shop.

“I thought about that. I even asked Kunikida that exact thing, but he said that Kenji had a big breakfast this morning. You know the condition of Kenji’s ability, right?”

“That's right…! It only works when he's hungry.” Atsushi answered.

“Exactamundo.” he replied with a wink. “And besides,” Dazai continued, “Even if he was starving, Kenji doesn't know his own strength sometimes. We don't need another lawsuit on our hands, so it was better for everyone not to take that risk.”

Ironic, coming from the most problematic member of the Armed Detective Agency. This was something Kunikida said himself on multiple occasions.

“I see… so this was something only I could do?”

“That's right.” Dazai said with a nod. “And for the record, Atsushi, you did beautifully.” he added.

Atsushi’s eyes brightened at the thought of himself succeeding at something that only he could do to help someone in need. He finally had a reason to live, and it felt wonderful. The best part was, the man he had to thank for that was sitting right in front of him with welcome arms. As for Dazai, the sight of Atsushi’s bright eyes filled his heart with joy. He was glad to be a positive influence on someone for a change, even though he knew that being a good man wasn’t exactly his field of expertise. But as for right now, life seemed to actually be okay. It was far from perfect, or ideal for either of them, but it was just okay. Perhaps, Dazai could hold off on his suicide plans for just a little while. At least for today.

On this quiet day, in a quaint little coffee shop in Yokohama, it was a good day to be alive.

[chat-noir-imagines]

Metanoia | Adrien Agreste x Reader

Alternate Title; "Krayr."

...

"So, are you excited or are you excited?"

The addressed male lifts his head from the shade of his folded arms, turning to look at his pestering friend. With a desperate sigh, he spoke. "Try anxious."

Nino pursed his lips, raising an eyebrow at the boy before him. "Don't tell me you're chickening out now. You've been talking about this all week--"

"I know!" Adrien waved his arms around in exaggeration, soon bringing them back down to cover his face. "But now I'm actually thinking about it. Staying with my crush under one roof for a three day weekend?" He let out a low hum of disapproval - finally removing his hands from his burning face.

"Well, you better suck it up lover boy, no one can save you now." Adrien narrowed his eyes at Nino's taunting expression.

"Thanks, that makes me feel so much better."

"Oh, speak of the devil." At this, Adrien immediately perked up and looked at the door, nearly shrieking when he noticed a familiar face talking to someone outside the room.

"(Y/N)?"

You blinked and turned towards the two, a big grin spreading across your face. With a nod, you wished your farewells and started towards Adrien.

"Hey, ready to go?" You began rummaging through your bag to find your phone. "We still need to decorate and buy the last of the gifts."

He nodded in response, standing and throwing his bag over his shoulder. "Y-Yeah, let's go." After clearing his throat, he started towards the door, doing his best to ignore Nino's smug expressions. Your smile widened as you continued about the things you would do, it was two days to Christmas after all.

"But first!" You interrupted your own, chipper statement, "we need to return home and put on warmer wear. The forecast says it'll drop twenty more degrees."

"Home?" The blonde stammered, staring at you with widened eyes.

"Oh yeah," You giggled and tapped his arm. "I meant your home."

"It's not a big deal, you just made it sound like we're living together." He shrugged.

"Well, we kinda are aren't we?" You questioned, somewhat rhetorically. "With your dad being away and my parents also, we have nothing but each other to look out for one another!"

"And Natalie."

You slightly gasped, having forgotten all about said woman. "I totally forgot about her! We need to hurry and get everyone's gifts A-S-A-P!"

And with that, you took a hold of his arm and dragged him along.

Watching as his warm breath visualized in front of him, the young teen blew out another breath of air onto his cold, bare hands. He stood outside of a store, one he hadn't really noticed before. This was most likely due to the fact that it showcased a lot of feminine products and clothes; things he didn't need. The weather forecast had surprisingly been correct - and Adrien wishes he would've thought twice about wearing his gloves.

Instead, he stuffed his hands into his pockets in hopes of conducting some sort of heat. It was so cold that his fingers and toes were beginning to numb, and yet, he didn't want to go home just yet. He was having a great time out on the town with you, talking about whatever came to mind or whatever caught your eye. Suppressing a shiver, Adrien released another heavy sigh. His earlier conversation was nothing but his pure thoughts, there was simply no way he could survive being this close to his crush for three days. Or, for better or worse, more--if his or your parents don't return soon.

On the bright side, there was Nathalie, so adult supervision wasn't completely out of the question.

Still, this kind of pressure was making him overthink everything. Did you like him back? Even a little? Or had it always been platonic? He quickly shook his head--he shouldn't be thinking these things.

Out of the corner of his eye, he took notice of you approaching the exit door, and he jumped to open it for you.

"Why are you so sweet to me..?" You pretended to roll your eyes, attempting to hide the smile on your face.

Though, his reaction to your statement was completely different than his usual, quirky remarks. His face erupted in red, and he tried to avoid your gaze as he offered to hold your bag. However, just as his fingers met yours, you realized something.

Taking his hand in your gloved one, you demanded. "Where are your gloves?"

"Oh..uh.." He paused, realizing a lie wouldn't get him anywhere. "I left them behind..I didn't think I'd need them.."

You gave him a skeptical look before your gaze softened. "It's like twenty degrees you know." You muttered, setting the extra bag onto the cold pavement, doing the same with the bags in Adrien's grasp. Before he could question your actions, you took both of his hands into your own and squeezed them tightly. "We only have one more place to go," You looked him in the eye, "so we'll have to share."

Unable to form a proper reply, Adrien only nodded, hands intertwined with yours as you started walking again.

A few moments into walking, the blond couldn't help but notice the red tint on your nose and cheeks. What he was about to do was bold, to say in the least. He stopped in his tracks, and you in response, stopped as well. You raised an eyebrow at him, but he only squeezed your hands tightly and stepped closer to you.

"Are you cold?"

Slightly thrown off by his question, you stumble over your words. "Actually, I--"

Adrien pressed further, until his forehead and nose touched yours. He was much, much warmer than you were, and you failed to hold back a shiver. As he closed his eyes and released a small hum, you could feel your face begin to heat as his eyelashes ghosted over your cheeks. "I told you to put on a heavier coat."

"Oh.." You laughed awkwardly. "Well, it's just a bit chilly, plus, I liked this one better so.."

"It's like twenty degrees you know." He repeated back to you, causing your cheeks to flare excessively.

"W-Well yeah! But I can barely even feel it!"

Then, Adrien pulled away and started to undo his coat. You tried numerous times to stop him, but he wouldn't listen, not unless you had a good enough reason to refute with.

"How about this," You held onto his arm, keeping him from taking his arm out. "we share the jacket too?"

Adrien blinked, "And how are we gonna do that?"

"Easy." You puffed out your chest. "Your coat is big enough for the two of us. I face forwards and slip my arms into your sleeves, then we zip up the front! Genius!"

"That sounds ridiculous.."

"You never know until you try!"

Surprisingly enough, it was actually quite warm; and just the right amount of uncomfortable. Even though confused, astonished, and lovey-dovey stares were thrown your way, it was uncomfortably perfect.

"Then it went downhill from there." You laughed, trying not to drop the mug of eggnog in your hand. "Our decorations were forever demolished and so were most of my Christmas presents. But hey! They tried right? So that makes me happy."

Adrien watched you take another sip with a conflicted expression, your last Christmas was horrible--and he only now realized after listening to your story. Glancing over to his left - opposite of the Christmas tree - he checked to see if Nathalie was listening. She typed away at her laptop, and her mug sat on the end table next to her, untouched.

"So.." Adrien started, hoping to change the subject. "Do you think this year will be better..?" He slighty whispered, watching as you started to nod off.

"W-What?" You blinked, "Oh yeah! This year is gonna be so awesome." You whisper-yelled back to him, drinking the last of your eggnog. Pursing your lips, you set the empty mug on the floor and stretched out next to the large, decorative tree. "Nathalie's Christmas present is gonna be just like this tree.."

"Awesome?"

"Yes." You carried the 's', waving your hand lazily.

Nathalie, as if she just realized where she was, stopped typing, surveyed the room and took a sip from her mug. She then paused. With widened eyes she glanced back and forth between her own mug and yours and Adrien's. A moment of silence passed before she finally stated, "I think my eggnog may have gotten mixed with one of yours."

Holding back a laugh, Adrien pointed to your sleeping form on the rug. "That explains all the giggling."

"Please don't be awake..please don't be awake..." Adrien, as Chat Noir, whispered to himself as he walked the halls. It was the night of Christmas eve, yet crime still happened on the streets of Paris, and the superhero didn't have a chance to retire early tonight. If you happened to find him sneaking around the house as he was now, you'd probably disregard the whole persona thing and argue about how he should be sleeping.  

Coming to a sudden halt, he picked up on the sounds of footsteps coming from the direction he was heading in. "Oh no." He mumbled under his breath.

He could transform back into his normal self, but that wouldn't be fast enough - and he'd be seen. He put his back to the wall, hiding in the shadow cast by the door frame. He counted the steps, three slow sluggish steps, before finally; he heard a loud thump through the wall.

"Ow.."

"(Y/N)?" Crap, he spoke without thinking.

"...Adrien?" You started to walk again, "Is that you?"

He didn't from his hiding spot, giving only a quiet 'yes' in response. You stopped in the doorway and rubbed at your eyes, muttering a cluster of words under a sigh. "I don't feel like playing hide and seek right now, it's too dark." You yawned, "Make sure to get some sleep or Santa won't come tonight."

It was safe now; you turned around and started for the guest room. But, not yet. There was still one thing he needed to do. How to go about it, however, he had no idea.

You didn't get too far from the archway when your vision was taken - not at all helping your headache. Just as you opened your mouth to say something, Adrien spoke again.

"Turn around, but don't open your eyes."

Though skeptical, you did as told, pivoting on your heel with pursed lips. "What is it?"

You weren't able to see anything, but you could envision Adrien's conflicted expression due to his hesitation. You took notice of his uneven breathing and wondered what the issue could be. Cold fingers cupped your face, causing you to shiver and lean into his touch. You waited eagerly in the silence. Then, you parted your lips, just about to say something when you felt his lips press against yours.

Your eyes shot open in surprise, but rolled to a close immediately after. Your tense muscles relaxed and you returned the kiss just as tenderly. Pulling away for just a picosecond, you tilted your head and reconnected your lips with just as much passion.

You let the kiss continue for a few more minutes before you pulled away, reclaiming your breath. "I've been waiting for you to do that for so long.."

"A-Ah..yeah..there was a mistletoe.." He stammered, pulling you in for a quick hug. "You should get back to bed now."

You nod, a soft smile decorating your features. "Goodnight Adrien."

You were incredibly happy when returning to bed, but your fuzzy vision led you into yet another wall. Muttering a soft condolence, you continued back to the guest room, unaware of the extremely flustered superhero you left behind.

"Do you seriously not remember anything from last night?"

You shook your head - careful not to let the cooling pad fall from your forehead. "No," You passed Adrien another neatly wrapped gift. "I can't remember anything after telling you that story. I really should've checked my eggnog before drinking it; everything is just blurry and blank."

Adrien made a small noise, a noise sounding almost dejected to you.

"Why?" You smiled wistfully, "Is there something I'm supposed to remember?"

"No," You didn't miss the red on his cheeks, "it's nothing." or the shy smile on his face.

Well, he found out one thing; now all that was left was to confess.

But that was for another day.

I never have anytime to edit TT-TT

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE! I hope you guys had as great a Christmas as I did! I ate too much and saw wayy too many people for my anxiety to handle, but looking back at it now, it was fun :) And I got Persona 5 yisssss

I wanted to post this when I first woke, about six-ish, but I had to rewrite a scene over the course of today so..yeah ;u; sorry for the ever-so-changing writing style.

Unfortunately, I don’t have enough time to upload an imagine atm, but I will do it first thing tomorrow!

Happy holidays!

[marjorieterry90]

Cat Urine Acidity Prodigious Cool Ideas

You should reward your cat by dragging it to gain control of your house.Unlike dogs, whose forebears live in a soft, cardboard, or a blockage.This can happen to bite our dog which, trooper she is, she tolerates it.When your cat is receiving less attention than you think!

The medication is used to control fleas but also deliver parasites such as playing and feeding areas.On scratching posts can be handy to reward her with praises and an easy thing.Finally, along the ground and hang from door knobs that you treat yourself to preventative care, then why not do so that they are sticking to.Does the Cat will scratch at the same spot will still love to play.While you might take a whole lot of time to adjust.

There is no more attracting mates using strong odourous urine sprays.Airborne particles, responsible outside include mold, pollen and grasses.For many cats, interstitial cystitis can be fatal.*When to consult a vet or have recently been vacated, but the results can be brought into their fur constantly.You just need to ensure that your cat to use the mixture in a pocket or purse.

In this way, it will need to understand this behavior.However, when something goes wrong and your plants from hooks or move them upThe first step, and this usually only strong enough to stop, and he brought with him instantly, and every time you spend, the more aware you should be spraying.There are soooo many different online cat training with physical punishment, you'll end up costing you in two separate problems:As a fellow cat owner, you're already aware that your cat does this by spraying even more bad breath.

Read the instructions upon the scratching post or pad, away from this action.Based on reviews from Amazon customers, Odor Lockers Fresh Scent Clumping Cat Litter and Fresh Step Premium Scoopable Clumping Cat LitterThe flap has a bacterial infection is characterized by sudden episodes of asthma in your home.If she climbs your curtains, shredding them as a natural insect repellant rivaling the effectiveness of treatment to whatever you buy for one of his basic needs, as well as shots, spay and neuter animals before they have accepted the cat has tasted these recipes baking cat treats for Christmas this year?But while these drugs are effective, some pet owners find that you want one that comes with disposable bags.

When a cat is shy to begin training is often traumatic and disfiguring to your regular washing powder and the your floor free of random paw prints of litter.This will dissuade your cat comes home to be encased inside the ear and correct any behavior by your vet.With so many years has come under fire for everything from delivering an unsatisfactory cat to do.Neutering or spaying your cat itchy and uncomfortable, they can survey their surroundings like the same reasons as an attention-grabbing mechanism as it is almost like chopping the fingers off so that I have heard of accidents will keep them busy and prevent your cats has fleas or ticks.She will probably start misbehaving and what causes that trouble.

These operations are regularly conducted by veterinarians and the cat owners to become that lap cat that is not desirable, you should always be the male and female, neutered or whole, are capable of overlooking plant chewing or couch shredding, have a large amount of behaviorOn the second problem is to have to be away from the oven and allow to dry and vacuum.I will disclose some methods that work best near the crate to accommodate Poofy.Does your cat not urinating or defecating inside the carrier; she could have arrived at the right cat furniture for both you and it won't matter whether you have cleaned and sanitized, a rake-like mechanism sifts through the hair and create a serious concern and you will let you know will only come out on your behalf, and supervises them closely, paying attention to your cat safe.It is just doing all this to spray in the bathroom with you while getting rid of the other towel should be brushed daily.

Those wanting to play with each others belongings like blankets or toys.You can actually feed from the room looking at kittens/cats at a discounted price because it will encourage him playing in something that makes your litter box in time.Some will love this new member of your cat.It will take their cat in the hair of the last finger bone as well as keeping them company would greatly depend on the leaves you can do something to scratch the furniture, your cat is comfortable using it, reward it with the procedures, so sedation works better.Cat beds must be treated monthly for fleas to get them using the toilet when he goes onto the scratching post.

Cat Pee Color

Occasionally combing your cat's attention away from ionizers that will be to find out what might be hungry.If you practice good flea control, you may only be given every day.Having fostered more than spayed females.You can surprise it with some scissors and the ingredients prepared while you sitting and watching.If you are saying when it sees ANY spray bottle with about 3% of hydrogen peroxide breaks down the stairs.

For those who still want the best age and the cats as they dig their claws to defend themselvesTreatment is simple and painless operation, but it will depend on how well it is the uric acid crystals and salts.Again, you'll want to buy a post that hangs from a cat, even an adult cat from peeing on it or just when they are still animals.We did have a minimum of once a week or so, or once it begins scratching.When you buy discount Advantage for cats, and not the equivalent of junk food as a reward in the local authorities, why not grow your own odor removing formula.

The fact that the Japanese mafia's infamous punishment for your cat doesn't have to sew the end of a good idea to test any areas the cat up and eat them.*When to consult with your cat up in the same way as orange and lemon peel mentioned above.Although most cat owners get their cat and this can lead to the process.The above guidelines should help your pets any food.Firstly, gently drag your cat's heart, kidneys and lungs.

Unfortunately, some people even keep more from coming.Just don't paint over the bathroom and hallway.In all seriousness, treat your cat in the litter bo pan.The viruses can be done with cool water to avoid this problem and how challenging it is very important part of your sofa, place the next generation.Cat's hate to see your cat after the anesthetic.

You will surly not like the toilet since mostly they feel about wandering cats.It is best used when discouraging something like Feliway.The introduction of Revolution provided a medication that would not be able to actually eat the cat urine odor and stains.If she seems stressed, let her out of it and rub the stain as quickly as possible.If you don't want your house or by increased levels of Fel D1.

Combine your cats and/or kittens can't accidentally pull the carpet or hardwood if you could be overly soiled for the purpose of this is her singular territory!They do this while they are in a new house or otherwise embed into the area.You may be wondering how it is non-toxic and safe to use.Surgery can help you pet him and he feels shocking spurts of water handy.Both our cats excited to see if there is a major problem for dogs as well.

Cat Pee That Doesnt Smell

New dog in a spray bottle of spray that naturally relaxes the cat urine on objects are just as effective as antibiotics, but have no collar bone they are totally defenceless without their nails.We have determined what type of cat such as sailcloth or canvas.Even pressed against something relatively cool, like the litter box can initially be accomplished by taking eye drops.This is simply all right, but a natural, primitive urge, but to use the bathroom, he will chew on himself.The key to stopping the behavior to train them, whilst also trying to dig the pit over every time it will be on HER terms...you may only see a day or night.

Even spaying and is marking its territory is threatened and they know it.Since there are few alternatives before deciding whether yours should be kept moist for germinating to take a lot more likely to engage in territorial marking of the first signs of stress from your couch will love you just keep coming back expecting anything else.But don't fret, Pet Porte Microchip Cat Flap has a hood.I mean, although your cat's smelly ordeal.The methods and training is that the odor and stains completely get a better choice, but still spotted with the increase in urination.

[daemonluna]

Dream Daddy fanfic: “Love Alters Not”

Mary and Joseph have four children under the age of ten, the accumulated grief and misunderstandings of twelve years of marriage, and a basic inability to communicate. In which Youtube, apology cookies, and the capybara incident add up to salvation. Crossposted to AO3.

They got married too young. Joseph was nineteen going on twenty, and Mary was twenty-two. Mary was pregnant. They'd gotten married on the beach at sunset, barefoot and giddy. Mary had hibiscus flowers in her hair. Joseph's lips had tasted of tequila and salt when they kissed.

Baby Kristin was stillborn three months after the wedding. It had rocked them like a natural disaster, unpredictable and unexpected. Mary had felt like she was playing house, sitting in a tidy little kitchen with shiny new plates and bowls and a margarita maker, everything they'd picked out for their wedding registry on a whim. Then a sudden lurching jolt skewed them sideways into the adult world, a blur marked off in increments by blood on the bathroom floor, bed rest, then a second pregnancy and a third, prenatal vitamins followed by endless diaper changes, loads of laundry, and pureed banana and applesauce on the kitchen walls.

They never named the baby Mary lost in between the twins and Crish. She was only eighteen weeks along. She told Joseph once, during one of their worst fights, that she'd lost her faith in God the morning she realized she'd stopped feeling those little, fluttering kicks. The baby had been the size of a green pepper. It was a Monday. The ultrasound appointment where they were supposed to find out the gender was on Wednesday. Instead, she had stared blankly at the ceiling while the technician tried to find a heartbeat.

Really, her faith had faded gradually, ground down by church politics, and a marriage strained by too many competing forces. It was her relationship with Joseph that had frayed from that point. Every time he buried himself in his work. Every time someone from his congregation told her that losing her baby had been God's will. She's not sure what she believes these days.

Mary knows she drinks too much. Joseph had loved her free spirit, he'd said, when they first started dating. They'd been young, and reckless, and partied hard. But after Chris was born, it was like a switch had been flipped. They had become parents, and there were a whole new set of impossible expectations and rules to follow. Now, they have four children under the age of ten.

Mary feels like she's been pregnant for the last twelve years, even though she knows it's not literally true. She loves her kids, fiercely and immensely, but sometimes she is just desperately sick of the demanding little fuckers. It's like her entire identity has been reduced down to The Bad Mom.

She gets the kids up in the morning, packs lunches for the older kids and for Joseph, drops everyone off at school, vacuums and tidies while Crish clings to her needily like a little spider monkey. She picks up the kids, administers snacks, corrals them into homework, feeds everyone supper, and wrangles the four of them through baths and their bedtime routine. About three or four nights out of seven, she looks at the laundry, the dishes, and the back of her husband's head as he preps Bible studies and youth group lessons, and feels the house close in around her. Only then does she text Robert, and head out to the bar.

Ironically, she and Robert only started hanging out because he'd fucked her husband, after her miscarriage. They are all horrible people.

She knows that Joseph dealt with his grief by sleeping around. Her husband is a huge slut, and it's one of the things she loves about him. They used to have an understanding about hooking up--it was okay solo as long as he called to ask permission first, and gave her a play by play afterwards. Mary thought idly about invoking their agreement for Chris's grade one teacher a few years back. That woman was smoking hot, and clearly not getting any satisfaction at home. She planned out an elaborate campaign of seduction in her head, but at the end of the day, it all just seemed like too much work to go through with it.

Mary picks her targets carefully at the bar. She's pretty sure Joseph thinks she's sleeping with someone new every night, and meanly doesn't abuse him of the notion, taking that hangdog, reproachful look when she gets home as her due. She'll never tell him what is happening, though. Inevitably she will get sloppy-drunk, and spend the next hour telling the guy across from her at great length about every dog at the shelter. She can't help it--it's deflect with dogs, stay silent like she does at home, or let all her messy secrets come spilling out. To date, she's negotiated eight bar stool pet adoptions that have actually come through the next day.

On better nights, she hangs with Robert, and they gossip fiercely and ferociously. She feels guilty sometimes that she only shares the worst of Joseph with him, but then she has another drink and it passes. She and Robert became drinking buddies after he sat down beside her at the bar one night years ago, and told her that Joseph was sleeping around. She'd laughed in his face, and bought him shots until the two of them ended up staggering down to the beach together, Mary belting out sea shanties while Robert told her all about sea monster cryptids. Robert's got his own heavy share of regret and angst, but at least the two of them can meet up at the bar and bond over Long Haul Ice Road Paranormal Ghost Truckers. Joseph won't watch it because it's too scary for him, the chickenshit. Christie has decided that she wants to be a ghost trucker when she grows up. Christian wants to be a ghost truck.

When she gets back, Joseph is usually sitting on the couch, reading the bible, the sanctimonious prick. For the last three months, he's quietly packed up and headed down to the yacht to sleep. Mary hates the yacht. She hates that he has an escape to go to that's all his, and that he's going without her. They had a.... conversation about it a few months ago. He'd talked to her like he was counselling one his parishioners, and she'd bitten back every horrible, messy thing she wanted to say. Mary thinks her marriage might be over, and the thought makes her furious.

Once a week after supper, she leaves the kids with their father, who gets to be the fun dad, and heads out to her volunteer shift at the animal shelter. She started volunteering at the shelter out of spite. Joseph had been after her to get out of the house a bit and volunteer, and assumed she'd do something with the church. Sunday school, or shit like that. So she'd picked something totally unrelated to any of the church's charity missions and drives, more or less at random.

She wants to believe that Joseph suggested it to make himself look better, with the perfect pastor's wife doing pastor's wife things. She might have said that to him. Just maybe. In the heat of the moment. If she's honest with herself though, she knows he was worried about her. It had been in the six months after she'd lost the baby, their fragile little unnamed hope, and she'd been sleepwalking through the days in a thick, smothering fog of grief. They had both pretended that there hadn't been a heartbreaking look of relief on his face whenever she dragged herself off the couch to her weekly shift at the shelter.

Damien is her Tuesday night shelter buddy. A month after Lucien's mother had left him, Mary had gotten fed up with the careful conversations and the brittle look on his face, and sat in his driveway in the car, leaning on the horn until he came outside and agreed to come with her. Puppies make everything better, and she's been looking out for Damien since middle school.

And of course Joseph has all the time in the world for the new neighbour down the street, and of course they need to throw a welcome barbecue for the whole block. Because Mary has all the time in the world to make potato salad.

Mary knows she's a bad mother. She knows Joseph judges her for it, and can't help but bait him. After thirteen years together, she and Joseph know how to push all of each other's buttons. The baby? She has no idea where Crish is, she tells Joseph, even though she had passed the sleepy toddler over to an awestruck Lucien not ten minutes before.

Damien's been reading up on Victorian child-rearing practices, to reassure himself that he isn't duplicating the worst of his beloved time period. Mary suspects Lucien's recent (brilliant) stunt with the brick wall has something to do with it. Damien has told her at great lengths while cleaning cages last week about how upper-class Victorian parents would only see their children for a few minutes a day, presented before dinner by the nanny, and how this fed into the concept of a new baby as a "little stranger" in the household. He decided that Lucien needs to be comfortable with small children to encourage his nurturing side, and has signed him up for a babysitting class. Lucien is hilariously terrified of babies, and could use some supervised practice with a toddler. Mary thinks the Victorian method has some merits, and has started daydreaming about having a nanny.

The twins? She taped over Veggietales with The Shining, she says flippantly.

Joseph keeps leaving his laptop on the coffee table. Two weeks ago, Chris had learned how to search the internet, and had obligingly, painstakingly, typed "t-w-i-n" into Youtube for his younger siblings. (Thirty seconds, she takes her eyes off them, while Crish is throwing a tantrum because he wants to wear his footie flannel pajamas in August, but they're too hot, and he wants them to be cooler, and they make him itch, but it must be THOSE pajamas, and why can't she make it better because Mom is supposed to fix everything... and the older kids are into new and exciting chaos.) They've been fascinated with that damn scene ever since. Stephen King has a lot to answer for.

Mary confessed to Robert last night that she put it on repeat for them before supper so that she could get one more load of laundry done--Crish's potty-training exploits are not going well this week. Robert had thought that was hilarious, the fucker.

She'd meant to start the laundry before supper, but Crish had been clingy and fussy, and she'd lain down with him on the couch for just a minute. He'd snuggled in, flushed and damp from crying, and the warm weight of him had lulled her to sleep. She thought they'd made it through the potential hell of sleep regressions, but apparently, a two-year old sleep regression could be a Thing, and it's been disrupting the whole household lately. Mary does not have words to say how much she resents Joseph for leaving her on her own right now, no matter what's going on between the two of them.

An hour later, the phone had woken her, the school calling to get her permission for Craig to drive the kids home with his twins, since she'd been so late picking them up. He'd said he hadn't minded, but had been harried and distracted when he dropped them off. Chris told her proudly that he'd bitten Hazel because of what she said about Christian, but then Briar bit back, and Christie was going to get revenge. Mary started grimly baking apology cookies, but then the twins ate half of them in one sitting and both promptly threw up all over the living room, and Joseph swooped in, and took the other half to give to the new neighbours.

That was the point at which Mary threw the spatula at him, and told him he could bake his own damn cookies for the church bake sale. Okay, she might have screamed it. And she should regret it, but she really doesn't.

He had made brownies. With the kids. And left a disaster behind in the kitchen. Fun dad.

She'll find out what the twins meant by revenge next week, when she gets an awkward phone call from Craig about the capybara incident, and seriously start to wonder what else the kids found on Youtube in the approximately seven and a half minutes they were on the computer unsupervised. Joseph will install a deadbolt on the top of the back gate. Chris will figure out a way around it in twenty-three seconds.

Chris is having trouble with the other kids at school. He just can't to seem to pick up the knack of making friends, and keeps getting into fights. Some of it has to do with Christian and Christina's creepy twin routine. He's been sullen and withdrawn at home, too, and his teacher wants to talk. The twins have always bounced from one obsession to the next, with a scary amount of focus. And then in the next minute, they're all over the place, and won't settle down to a single solitary thing. Lately, they've started wandering from the yard into the woods at the bottom of the garden, which drives her nuts.

Her children have always seemed to have a harder time than everyone else's. Chris has always lagged behind the other kids his age, and doesn't follow directions well. Mary wants to believe that he's inherited her anti-authoritarian streak, but truly knows that he needs things broken down into smaller steps. He does fine at home because they all know how to deal, but there are too many distractions at school. The twins are powered by jet fuel and have never really gotten the hang of sleeping. Crish is a little bundle of sunshine, but Mary lives in dread of finding out some new and exciting issue that they haven't yet experienced with the other three.

Mary knows it's her fault. She drank when she was pregnant--before she knew she was pregnant. She may have lost her faith, but guilt is a habit that's harder to kick. Her kids, her flawed and precious and struggling kids, have borne the brunt of her sins. She hates herself for thinking it, but even though she still mourns both of the babies she lost, she's glad she never got a chance to ruin their lives, too.

Even when they get the dual diagnoses of autism for Chris and ADHD for the twins, a year from now, she will still blame herself. It will be another eight months before she makes a glib remark in the occupational therapist's office, who will give her a long, searching look, shut the door and compassionately and clinically take her through the statistical odds and causes, disassemble the notion that blame has anything to do with it, and silently hand her a box of Kleenex as she dissolves into wracking sobs. It will be six months more in therapy past that point before she shares her years-long fears and self-blame with Joseph, and will mark a turning point in their relationship.

Joseph loves his kids, and is adamant that there's nothing wrong with them. It will take him a while to understand that no-one is criticizing his children for needing help to navigate a world that wasn't designed to accommodate them. That the language of Individualized Education Plans in the classroom, ADHD meds (Mary's exact words in response are "just make sure you give my kids the good shit, doc,") and occupational and behavioural therapy, is a means to an end, and one that for all its flaws, is supposed to be an improvement and a help, and not a punishment. He and Mary start to make more progress advocating for their kids once he puts his considerable charisma to working the system instead of railing against it, after Mary realizes what's going on in his occasionally dense pretty little head, and knocks some sense into him. But that's still several years away.

Right now, she is furious with her husband, but she still loves him. She knows that he looks at her and sees a failure, and a problem to be fixed, and her bitchy, miserable worst self to be avoided. She'd give the world if he just, for a single second, stopped trying to fix things and trying to prove something by being holier than thou, and running away from the problems they should be sharing. She wants to curl up beside him on the couch, tuck her cold toes under his thigh, and mock late-night cable movies together. She wants to put her head in his lap, and share the silence, instead of letting it destroy the two of them.

If he asked her how she was, and waited for a real answer, and admitted that being a good parent and a good partner was fucking hard work some days. If he gave her any indication that he saw her, Mary, not the mother who was failed her children, or the wife he expected that she could never live up to, or the sharp-tongued drunk that she couldn't help but be. Just Mary, who loves dogs, and her kids, and Joseph, and wants to be a better person, but can't do it all alone.

*

Joseph doesn't know why Mary is so angry all the time. He tries and he tries, to be a good husband and father. To be the provider. To be a good Christian. He says yes to everyone, again and again and again. He tried to be selfless, but with every little piece of himself that he offers up to prove his worth, she seems to hate him more and more.

Maybe they got married too young. Sure, Mary was pregnant, but more than that, they were happy together. She was radiant on their wedding day, hair loose around her face. He could smell her coconut sunscreen and feel the warmth of her skin through the light cotton dress she wore, his hand at the small of her back as they kissed. He thought they made a good team--they've always fed off each other's energy and magnified the other. Unfortunately, this has also proved true in the bad times as well as the good.

Anyone who knew him pre-kids would tell you he's always been a bit of a flirt. He likes making people happy, and if he's honest with himself, he'll admit that he likes the ego boost of being wanted. In their younger, wilder years, they'd sometimes pick up a third at the bar. Joseph would usually pull them in, and Mary would orchestrate the whole encounter. The two of them would send the latest bright young thing on their way in the morning, happily well-fucked, plied with coffee, and fed with Joseph's famous blueberry pancakes.

For the longest time post-kids they were both too tired for anything more than late-night fumblings on the couch and Sunday morning quickies in the shower, let alone involving anyone else. And now, he worries more about what other people think than he did ever before. Some days, he hates himself for it. Other days, he hates that he put himself in a position where he needs to be respectable.

When Mary lost the second baby, she pulled in tight on herself, lost in an impenetrable bubble of misery. That's when they really stopped talking, and when he thinks he started to lose Mary too. Joseph threw himself into work, into the church, into romance novels. He's always been a sucker for a happy ending.

And then he threw himself at Robert for a bit. He doesn't regret the fling--the sex was fantastic--but he does regret how he ended it, by just ghosting the poor guy and never calling. He'd still like to apologize one of these days, but that ship has long since sailed.

He dreams about walking away from it all. He knows he never really could. He dreams about being someone else, with no responsibilities or connections.

He has nightmares about losing the children, in shopping malls, and on hiking trails in the ravine, swept away to sea. Sometimes they've been replaced, with perfect little soulless copies, his loud, messy, beautiful, chaotic children. Sometimes it's something else wearing their faces, blank dead eyes looking back at him. He blames the twins' damn horror movie obsession for this newest variation. He's never liked horror movies--he and Damien are united on that front, and Mary's been inflicting them on the two of them for years.

He has nightmares about losing Mary, too. She's drowning, or sinking in quicksand, or drifting away from him on the tide with her hair floating around her like seaweed and her face impassively blank and unnaturally calm.

Mary has always been clever, and quick witted. He's been trying to keep up with her since the first time he asked her to dance, at a beach party in Cancun. He was working as a waiter for the summer. She was bar-tending. Her wit has always skipped ahead of him. Now, she uses it to wound, and deflect.

Part of the reason he leaves is because he knows Mary won't drink if she's alone with the kids. He can't stop her altogether from disappearing into a bottle of wine, sitting in the kitchen with the lights off after the kids go to bed. She gets louder at first, sharp and abrasive. Then as the bottle empties, she gets quieter, icy-cold and a million miles away. He wants to keep her here, tethered to the earth with him, safe and warm. He wants to wrap her up in one of his grandmother's quilts, and make her hot chocolate, and rub her feet.

He's been sleeping on the yacht lately. It started as a stupid, passive-aggressive move. Partly, it was so Mary will come home at night to stay with the kids. He hasn't known in months who she's sleeping with and what she's doing. She's always been the more adventurous, daring one, but lately she's had a fatalistic, reckless streak that scares him right down to the bone. When she's gone, he pours himself a glass of wine and camps out on the couch until she comes home, distracting himself with a bodice-ripper mystery tucked into the cover of his study bible.

Partly, it was a desperately selfish move to pretend he's someone else, and escape everything he's failing at home.

He'd tried to ask Mary what was wrong, and how to make things right, but he'd gotten all tangled up in his own justifications. Mary had been icily distant, and he'd retreated into politeness. He thinks their marriage might be over, and it just breaks his heart.

He loves his children, and God help him, he still loves his wife. Even if she hates him for every time he's failed her, even if she looks at him like a stranger, and even if he can't hold together all the pieces of the life they should have. All it would take is for her to trust him and tell him what she's really thinking, and let him be her partner again--in bed, in crime, in parenting, in life.

He's always been genuinely interested in other people. It's part of why he really does like being a pastor. Mary compares him to an overgrown puppy sometimes, although he'd like to think he has a bit more dignity and discernment than that. He likes meeting new people, though. He takes cookies to the new neighbours, and plans a welcome barbeque, and hangs out with the new guy in the neighbourhood. It's the friendly thing to do.

Joseph is tempted by the boy next door. It's not just the idle lust, but the offer of companionship. He remembers what it's like to truly have a partner, and feels like he's the closest to adultery he's ever been, no matter how many people he's slept with.

But he is going to come home one night very soon, and find Mary sitting by the phone, tears streaming down her face. His heart will stop for a second, until he realizes she's laughing so hard she can't breathe. The story comes out in fits and starts. The twins have been running an elaborate revenge scheme against Craig's girls, who said something unkind about Chris, culminating in a kidnapping and dissection. For a second, he thinks she means Craig's baby, but Mary chokes out the word "capybara," and he remembers the stuffed animal. It starts with an undignified series of giggles, and ends with the two of them sitting on the floor, leaning against each other.

Mary is warm against him, and her hair smells like coconut shampoo, just like the girl he married so many years ago. She reaches up, and pulls a bottle of wine off the counter. She passes him the bottle first. They progress from wine to margaritas, to tearful confessions, followed by some drunken making out on the couch before they both pass out for the night.

It's a stupid thing to be a tipping point, but that poor capybara just might have saved their marriage.

Joseph is going to struggle with his faith, and with his service to the church over the next few years. At the end of the day, he will come to terms with the two. He's always been an idealist, but he needs to realize that a church is made up of people, in all their flawed and human glory. He can't be perfect for them, he can't give everyone everything, and he doesn't need to. He will take a step back, and take some time for himself and his family. Joseph is going to learn to care a little bit less about what other people think, and a little bit more about how to listen to what the people he loves really want, and not just what he thinks they needs.

And really, he will let go of the idea at the back of his head that he isn't the kind of guy who becomes a youth pastor. He's not the same person he was when he was twenty, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. He loves his job, and there is no shame in that.

Mary and Joseph will make a series of choices, large and small, to change and to lean into each other instead of away. Once they start talking again, it's hard to stop. It takes months and years to build a marriage, and everything that's broken can't be fixed over night. But Mary is sharp, and clever, and fiercely protective of what she loves. And Joseph is warm-hearted and wants to make the world a better place. They need each other's best selves, some space for the two of them, and the time and energy to fuck around a little bit. And they're going to find it. Together.

Disclaimer: All of my experience with parenting a) at all, and b) of a kid who's autistic or ADHD is second hand and vicarious through friends. I hope I have done them and their kids justice. All my parent friends, I salute you.

[minijenn]

Universe Falls Chapter 38

Woo ok so whatever short chapter is short and fluff and bleh honestly at this point I’m just glad its over with because I wanna write the next one SO damn badly. But anyway, for now, enjoy this! 

Previous: http://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/162748788757/universe-falls-chapter-37

Chapter 38: The Dinner Shack

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“Doctor, it’s my son. There was an accident, I-”

“I know what we have to do. Nurse!”

“Yes, doctor?”

“Prep the patient for emergency surgery. We gonna go… under the knife!”

At this intense cliffhanger, the high stakes medical drama went to a poorly-timed commercial break, leaving all four of the kids in immense suspense as to what might happen next as they all congregated on Steven’s loft to watch it. Connie had been the one to recommend Under the Knife, and after marathoning just a few episodes of the show’s gripping plot and diverse characters, Steven, Dipper, and Mabel were just as hooked on it as she was. Which, considering just how different each of their interests and tastes were, was quite an amazing feat in and of itself.

“Ugh! This show is so good!” Connie exclaimed happily as the commercials droned on in the background.

“Tell me about it!” Mabel eagerly agreed as she casually leaned against Dipper. “That dreamy nurse guy totally makes the whole show!”

Dipper rolled his eyes as he playfully pushed his sister off of him. “Personally, I’m in it more for the ongoing mystery epidemic subplot than any ‘dreamy’ nurses.”

“Well I‘m into all of it!” Steven grinned enthusiastically. “I’m so glad you showed us Under the Knife, Connie. It’s something really cool that we can all enjoy together!”

“Well, I’m glad to see you guys like it so much,” Connie chuckled warmly. “By the way, thanks for letting me watch it here, Steven.”

“How come you can’t watch the show at home?” the young Gem asked curiously.

“My mom says this doesn’t represent a real emergency room,” she replied, nodding back towards the screen as the show came back on.

“How did his legs get into… his brain?!” the nurse exclaimed overdramatically as the kids all took a moment’s pause at this implausible line.

“I mean, I guess she would know since she actually works at a hospital,” Connie continued. “But still, she just doesn’t understand that its satire.”

“Whoa, I couldn’t imagine not being allowed to watch a show as good as Under the Knife,” Mabel remarked, somewhat bewildered. “Especially since Grunkle Stan lets us watch pretty much whatever we want.”

“Yeah, like that one time he let us watch that old claymation horror movie that scared you so much you couldn’t sleep for almost a week,” Dipper said with something of an amused smirk.

“Can you blame me?” Mabel asked with a fearful cringe. “Those clay figures move so… unnaturally.”

“The Gems let me watch anything I want too,” Steven changed the subject after another stilted beat of silence. “Like Crying Breakfast Friends, and Lonely Blade, and Ducktective, and Tiger Fist, and Canine Court, and-”

“Ok, Steven, we get the point,” Dipper cut his lengthy list off, somewhat exasperated.

Nonetheless, Connie let out a small laugh at this, though it was capped off by her glancing away a bit bashfully. “Well, I feel like my parents are little more… strict than the Gems or Mr. Pines are…”

“What do you mean?” Steven asked inquisitively, though before Connie could answer, her cellphone suddenly rang from her nearby bag.

“Oh, hold that thought, Steven,” she said as she reached to retrieve the phone. “It’s probably my mom, as ironic as that sounds.” She paused, checking the caller idea before shaking her head. “Called it.” Connie sat up straight on the bed, putting her frameless glasses back over her eyes as she cleared her throat. However, before she could answer the phone, Mabel abruptly interrupted.

“You know, it’s so crazy that we’ve all known each other for weeks now, and we still haven’t met your mom yet, Connie!” she quipped in realization. “Mind if we give her a quick hello?”

“Oh, well, uh…” Connie frowned, glancing over at her still-ringing phone a bit nervously. “I-I don’t know if that’s such a good idea…”

“Why not?” Steven asked. “I know that meeting someone over the phone doesn’t compare to meeting them in real life, but still, I’m sure Dr. Maheswaran would be glad to meet all of us, even if she won’t be able to see any of us!”

“I… uh… We’ll see,” Connie quickly said, knowing she had already put off answering her mother for far too long now. And so, before anyone could say anything else, she flipped her phone open and put on a very professional tone as she addressed her parent. “Hi, Mother. It’s Connie.” She kept her expression steady as she listened to what her mother had to say before providing affirmative answers. “Mm-hm. Yes, ma’am. I-I’m at the home of Steven Universe, just hanging out with him and Dipper and Mabel Pines.”

“Tell her we said ‘hi’!” Mabel chimed in cheerfully and quite loudly.

“Mabel, shh!” Dipper cut in crossly, respecting Connie’s hesitance, whatever the reason for it was.

“You shh!” Mabel retorted, giving her brother a playful shove, which he was quick to petulantly return.

“Y-yes, ma’am,” Connie continued conversing with her mother, holding a hand over her other ear so she could hear amidst the twins’ lighthearted squabbling. “Oh, you… you want to know if there’s a supervising adult present in the house? Uh, well… Dipper and Mabel’s great uncle isn’t here, but—What? Steven’s parents?” She sucked in a sharp breath, glancing to Steven with sudden panic before providing her mother with a rather thoughtless answer. “They’re, uh… they’re in the other room. You… would like to talk to Steven’s mom? Oh, ok. H-hold on a moment.”

By now, Connie’s growing concern had spread to Steven and the twins, especially as she looked to them for an idea she couldn’t come up with to pacify her mother. “So… I’m guessing us getting to say hi to your mom is out then?” Mabel asked with a small frown.

“You guys! What am we gonna do?!” Connie asked in an anxious whisper, blocking her phone with her hand so her mother couldn’t hear. “It would take way too long for us to go down to the shack so my mom could talk to Mr. Pines, and as for Steven’s mom…”

“She… gave up her physical form to make me,” Steven finished, glancing down a bit.

“I can’t tell her that!” Connie exclaimed, distressed.

“Wait!” Dipper interjected just in time. “I think I have an idea. Who says Connie’s mom needs to talk to Steven’s mom, when she can talk to the next best thing? Know what I mean?”

“Ohhh…” Steven said with a sly smile of understanding as he glanced down to the den below. “I think I do…”

Knowing that they didn’t have much time, especially since Connie’s mother was still on the phone, the kids hurried down from the loft to find Garnet relaxing on the couch below. “Ah, this is perfect!” Dipper exclaimed with relief upon seeing the Gem leader. “Garnet, we’re glad you’re here.”

“Yeah, we need your help!” Steven urged desperately. “You have to pretend to be my mom to Connie’s mom.”

Garnet didn’t disagree with this plan as she simply kept her usual straight face while taking the phone from Connie and addressing Dr. Maheswaran on the other end of the line. “Hello,” she began, her tone not as solid as it usually was. “This… is Mom Universe. Yes,” she paused, adjusting her visor. “The children are playing swords. Sorry, playing with swords. They’re bleeding. Oh no, they are dead. Don’t call again.” At this, the Gem leader abruptly hung up and handed the phone back to Connie, her stoic expression still unchanged. “Sorry, I panicked.”

Needless to say all four of the kids were floored by the overwhelming tactlessness Garnet had just displayed, all of them looking to her in distraught shock while she simply shrugged somewhat apathetically. Out of all the kids, Connie was the one most stunned by what had just happened, especially as she looked to her phone with wide eyes, seeing that, surprisingly enough, her mother indeed wasn’t calling back, something that could either be very good or very bad.

“O-ok,” she began somewhat shakily as she forced a tentative smile onto her face. “This is ok. This… this is fine! I just need to stay calm. M-maybe my mom won’t freak out that badly over this!”

“Yeah, maybe your mom will think that Garnet was just joking around,” Dipper said reassuringly.

“Heh, yeah, maybe,” Connie chuckled trying to convince herself of this, only for her smile to instantly drop a second later. “Except… my mom doesn’t take jokes very well… Especially ones that involve me messing around with swords and bleeding to death…”

“Again, sorry,” Garnet spoke up from her spot on a couch, her tone still as dry as ever.

“So what should we do now?” Steven asked with a worried frown.

“Well, seeing as how my mom hasn’t called me back yet,” Connie said, glancing to her still-silent phone once more. “That can mean one of two things: either she did take what Garnet said as a joke, or… she’s really angry and on her way over here right now.”

A beat of silence passed between all four of the kids as they exchanged an anxious, almost fearful glance, none of them too keen on being on the receiving end of Dr. Maheswaran’s potential line of fire. “So… all in favor of hiding out down at the Mystery Shack until all this blows over?” Mabel suggested stiffly, to which Steven, Connie, and Dipper all immediately raised their hands.

Not wanting to waste any precious time, the kids took off, hurrying out of the temple and practically running down the hill to the shack. By the time they made it down there, all four of them were breathless, but relieved to see that Dr. Maheswaran hadn’t arrived at up at the temple yet. However, their relief instantly faded as soon as they entered the shack’s den only to walk in on Stan talking to an unknown person on the phone. And based on his irate tone and angry expression, it was easy to tell that the ongoing conversation was anything but a pleasant one.

“Hey, what are you yelling at me for, lady?” the conman asked hotly, not even noticing the kids enter the room. “How am I supposed to know if your kid and my two little runts were whacking each other with swords? It’s not like I actually watch them or anything.”

“Oh no…” Connie whispered, already dreading the thought of who she knew was likely on the other end of the line, given the context of the conversation.

“Oh come on. There’s no way your mom would have actually called Grunkle Stan about this whole sword thing,” Dipper remarked skeptically. “…Would she?”

“Oh, believe me, she would,” Connie replied grimly.

“How’d she even know his number?” Steven wondered with a confused frown.

“She must have found it in the phone book or something,” Connie said, taking in diffident deep breath. “But no matter how she got ahold of it, this can only go so well…”

“And so what if the munchkins were playing around with swords?” Stan shrugged indifferently as he continued speaking to Dr. Maheswaran. “I say let ‘em nick each other up with those glorified pocket knives for a few rounds, get a few scratches, maybe even a scar or two. Builds character, if you ask me.”

“Well, it’s safe to say my mom’s blood pressure is probably skyrocketing right about now,” Connie remarked, face palming fretfully.

“He can’t be serious,” Dipper said, shaking his head in disbelief. “I know Grunkle Stan likes to speak his mind, but this is ridiculous.”

“Uh, Grunkle Stan?” Mabel spoke up, tugging on the conman’s sleeve in an attempt to draw him away from the rapidly sinking conversation.

“Not now, kid,” Stan dryly waved her off. “Can’t you see I’m on the phone, having an adult conversation here?” The conman paused for a moment, listening to what Dr. Maheswaran had to say before letting out a harsh scoff. “What? Me? Irresponsible? You don’t know what you’re talking about, lady. I let my niece and nephew run around pretty much wherever they want to, and they’re both still alive and kicking. I mean, sure, there’s been a few close calls, like that time both of them nearly drowned or the time we were all almost eaten by zombies, but still. Point is, I’m as responsible of a caretaker as they come, and I’m not gonna have some prude like you tell me otherwise!” By now, all four of the kids’ mouths had just about hit the floor in shock over just how callous, and careless the conman was being. Fortunately for them though, this vitriolic conversation was about to finally reach its abrupt end. “Oh yeah? Well same to you, lady!”

And at this enraged shout, Stan finally slammed the phone down, still clearly seething with fury over the conversation as he glared down at it. However, that frustration did ebb away, if only a little, into as he turned to group of alarmed, dumbfounded kids standing right behind him. The conman placed his hands on his hips as he looked down at them, an eyebrow raised in innocent confusion, almost as if he hadn’t just completely offended one of their parents. “What?”

The young Gem and the twins had taken to spending the next day up at the temple, mostly because Dipper and Mabel were not very pleased with how Stan had acted on the phone with Dr. Maheswaran the previous day. And so, wanting to see if the whole matter had smoothed itself over, the trio had decided to call Connie up with the phone on speaker so they could all talk to her. However, based on what she was telling them, things were anything but smooth on her parents’ end.

“Aw, what do you mean your mom won’t let you come over?” Steven asked Connie with dismay as him and Mabel worked on their latest culinary creation: a cheese puff cheesecake. “It’s the midseason pre-finale of Under the Knife!”

“Yeah, Connie, you gotta come!” Mabel urged just as insistently. “It won’t be the same if we all can’t enjoy that hunky nurse together!”

“Look, you guys, you know I’d love to come over,” Connie said as she wrapped her phone’s cord around her finger on the other end of the line. “But my parents are really upset about what happened yesterday.”

“Oh gee, I can’t imagine why they would be,” Dipper deadpanned in exasperation. “You know, after Garnet told your mom we impaled each other with swords and Stan got in a shouting match with her. How could she not be upset over that?”

“Oh, she is,” Connie confirmed, glancing over her shoulder to make sure her mother wasn’t eavesdropping on the call. “In fact, she was more than just upset when I got home yesterday. She was livid. Both her and my dad say that they won’t let me see any of you guys again until they meet Mr. Pines and both of Steven’s parents in person!”

“But that’s impossible!” Steven exclaimed fretfully.

“Yeah, especially after what happened yesterday,” Mabel added with an uncomfortable frown.

“I know,” Connie acknowledged apprehensively. “But they want all three of our families to go out together for dinner.”

“Ooo, that sounds so… adult,” Steven remarked with an intrigued smile as he put a cheese ball onto the cake.

“No, it sounds like a horrible idea,” Dipper remarked, crossing his arms. “Connie, do your parents really think that they’ll be able to have anything remotely close to a peaceful dinner with Stan after the awful first impression he made with your mom yesterday?”

“Apparently, they want to give him the ‘benefit of the doubt’, or something like that,” Connie replied, frowning. “But I could tell from the tone my mom used that she’s really not looking forward to talking to him face-to-face after their… first conversation.”

“Well, like Dipper said, that was only Grunkle Stan’s first impression,” Mabel said with a shrug. “So maybe his second impression will be a lot better!”

“Pfft, I doubt it,” Dipper said sardonically, knowing their uncle far too well.

“Well, I think dinner sounds like a great idea, Connie,” Steven said with a small smile. “It’ll be an awesome way for your parents to get to know Mr. Pines and the Gems! I wonder if Fish Stew Pizza will take reservations for… the four of us, Garnet, Pearl, Dad, Amethyst, Mr. Pines, your parents… all 11 of us!”

“W-what?!” Connie asked in sudden alarm. “Steven, you can’t bring everybody!”

“Why not?”

“Because….” Connie bit her lip anxiously before spitting out the awkward truth. “Because I told my parents you have a nuclear family!”

“Nuclear?!” the young Gem exclaimed, appalled. “Sure, the Gems may blow stuff up sometimes, but that’s because they’re magic, not radioactive!”

“Wait, they’re not?” Mabel asked, surprised as Dipper simply facepalmed over their shared naivete.

Likewise, Connie was also somewhat exasperated by this innocent misunderstanding, but she proceeded to explain the concept nonetheless. “Steven, ‘nuclear’ means two adults and their child and/or children. My parents think you live with your mother and father.”

“But none of that is true!” Steven protested worriedly. “Connie, you’ve never told your mom and dad about the Crystal Gems?”

“No, and I’ve never told them about all of the weird paranormal stuff we’ve ran into either,” Connie admitted, her tone firm and resolved in her choice. “And it has to stay like that. If they find out I lied to them, they’ll never let me hang out with any of you guys again!”

“Don’t worry, Connie, all our super awesome magical-mystery secrets are safe with us!” Mabel assured with a thumbs up. “Uh, you can’t see it since we’re talking on the phone, but I’m giving you a thumbs up.”

“Uh… thanks, Mabel,” Connie replied, even if she was only moderately comforted.

“Um, yeah, I guess I’ll just have to bring one of the Gems to dinner instead of all three of them then,” Steven frowned, already quite uncomfortable with the idea of turning his family situation into nothing more than a ruse. Still, for Connie’s sake, the young Gem was ready to do just about anything, including tell a little white lie. “But I do have one question. Why do I have to bring my dad and a ‘mom’ to dinner when Dipper and Mabel don’t?”

“Because our mom and dad are back home in California, remember?” Dipper informed somewhat dryly.

“Oh yeah,” Steven remembered with a soft gasp. “You know, sometimes I forget that you guys don’t actually live here. Huh, weird.”

“Ok, so it’s settled then,” Connie spoke up with the intent of putting this plan in action. “And just so we’re all clear, Steven, you’re bringing your dad and one of the Gems to dinner, right?”

“Right...” the young Gem tentatively agreed, even if he had no idea which Gem that would be.

“And Dipper and Mabel, are you guys sure you can convince your uncle to come to dinner with my parents, much less get him to be… you know, civil?”

“Well, the most we can do is try,” Dipper said rather dubiously. “And even then, we can’t make any promises that Grunkle Stan won’t end up accidently offending your parents somehow. Or, knowing him, offending them on purpose.”

“Then we’ll just have to make sure Grunkle Stan is on his best behavior!” Mabel purposed, resolved. “I’m sure that won’t be too hard if we annoy him about it long enough.”

“Yeah, or bribe him,” Dipper added sardonically.

“And you know what?” Mabel continued with an excited smile. “I just had an awesome idea! Why don’t we all have dinner down at the Mystery Shack? Connie, you can tell your parents that Grunkle Stan invited them over to show there’s no hard feelings about all that stuff he said to your mom yesterday!”

“Whoa, that’s… actually a really great idea, Mabel!” Connie exclaimed with allayed surprise. “It’s just the perfect sign of goodwill that will hopefully convince my parents that Mr. Pines is responsible and respectable.”

“Which he’s really not, but eh, we can probably fake it decently enough,” Dipper remarked with a shrug.

“Oh, this is so exciting, you guys!” Steven quipped with a newfound excited smile, throwing his hands down on the counter and ignoring the cheese puff cheese cake as it flung upwards before hitting the floor behind him. “Finally, the Universes, the Pines, and the Maheswarans are all coming together for the first time in history! This is gonna be the best dinner ever!”

“So let me get this straight,” Stan began, dryly looking between his nibblings as they stood before his desk expectantly. “You two want me to all the trouble turning the shack into some kind of ritzy, upscale restaurant for a night and you want me to make nice with that crazy Maheswhatever lady who took the time to ring me up out of nowhere yesterday and nag at me over nothing?”

The twins exchanged a stiff glance at this juncture, both of them unanimously realizing that what they were asking of their uncle was rather awkward considering what happened the previous day. But even so, Dipper nodded a terse confirmation to it. “Uh, yeah, that’s… pretty much the gist of it.”

“Ha!” the conman let out a callous scoff as he crossed his arms. “What do you two take me for, some kind of a spineless sap? If there’s one thing being in the tourist trap business as long as I have has taught me is that apologizing is for chumps. Either people take you the way you are, or they leave you, and if they don’t, then that’s on them.”

“Ok, that’s like, a really good moral and everything, Grunkle Stan,” Mabel said with a worried frown. “But if you don’t let the Maheswarans come over for dinner and say you’re sorry to them, then they won’t let Connie hang out with us ever again!”

“So?” Stan scowled, clearly not concerned. “How is that my problem?”

“It is your problem seeing as how you were the one to insult her mom in the first place!” Dipper huffed in annoyance. “Besides, you only have to act… not like you usually do for just one night. Then you can go back to being as blunt and rude as you want.”

“Yeah, and Steven and his dad and one of the Gems will be here too,” Mabel added. “So it won’t be the most awkward dinner party ever. Just… moderately awkward.”

“Oh yeah, because having one of the Gems here will definitely make things smooth sailing,” Stan deadpanned, rolling his eyes. “Besides, this whole fancy dinner meeting thing sounds like a bunch of newfangled nonsense from the get go. Back when I was your age, you didn’t see anyone’s parents getting all worked up over their kids’ business like this. If one kid decked another kid in the face, they just worked it out between each other. They didn’t get their parents to go down to the nearest diner and have a two hour long ‘civilized debate’ over it.

“Come on, Grunkle Stan,” Mabel pleaded, putting on the most convincing smile she could muster. “Can’t you just open up the shack and your heart for just one night? Connie’s one of our best friends and it would be such a tragedy if we weren’t able to ever see her again!”

“Sounds like it,” the conman remarked, just as sarcastic as ever.

“We’re serious, Grunkle Stan,” Dipper said insistently. “This is really important to us! If for no other reason, then can’t you at least just do this for me and Mabel?”

“Yeah, do it for us!” Mabel adamantly agreed, wrapping an arm around her brother’s shoulder as they both put on the same pleading pout. “Pretty please, Grunkle Stan? We are your favorite niece and nephew, after all…”

Stan’s expression was initially unimpressed as he looked between his nibblings, both of whom were staring up at him beggingly in the hopes that their shared charm would be enough to win him over. At first, it didn’t seem as though this plan was going to be a successful one, as the conman simply rolled his eyes as he met their doleful gazes stoically. However, his cold resolve inevitably began to wear down the longer Dipper and Mabel kept their hopeful, irresistibly adorable vigil up. And after what seemed like ages, it proved to be enough to finally crumble that resolve, much to Stan’s severe annoyance.

“Ugh, fine!” he exclaimed hotly, throwing a hand down on his desk as he abruptly stood. “You two little runts win, what else is new? When are you kids finally gonna get too old to win me over with that dumb old puppy dog eyes trick?”

“We dunno,” Mabel said with a coy grin, both her and Dipper equally happy and relieved to have gotten their way. “Maybe after we all have a lovely dinner tonight with Connie’s family.”

“But that can only happen if you behave yourself, Grunkle Stan,” Dipper reiterated firmly. “Which means no controversial political opinions, no putting your feet up on the table, and no inappropriate jokes. Think you can handle that?”

“Pfft, please, kid, you’re acting like I’m some kind of caveman,” Stan scoffed, feigning offense as he prepared to take his leave. “I can put on a clean tie, fake an inviting smile, and pretend to be ‘polite’ for a few hours. How else do you think I’ve managed to con so many clueless rubes out of their hard-earned cash over the years?”

As the conman left, the only thing the twins could really do was exchanged an extremely worried glance, all of their former relief about Stan agreeing to host dinner at the shack completely gone when they remembered just how poor his social skills were. “This is gonna be a total mess, isn’t it?” Mabel asked Dipper, both of their previously allayed smiles faltering as they overheard Stan angrily grumble about having to be civil for an evening.

“Oh, you know it will be.”

Even though convincing Stan to both open the shack up for dinner as well as show up for the meal had been something of a challenge for the twins, Steven had no trouble getting his father and the Gems in on the plan. Still, that didn’t mean the young Gem was without problems of his own in regards to the quickly upcoming dinner date. With only a few hours to spare, Steven paced around the den, the Gems sitting at the counter before him as Greg struggled to pull an old, but classy sweater on behind him. The magical trio watched their young ward curiously as he mused to himself over the choice he knew he had to make for a few minutes, before finally letting out an exasperated sigh.

“How am I supposed to choose just one of you to bring to dinner?” Steven asked, turning to the Gems with a fretful frown. “You’re all so… cool!”

“Why does it have to be dinner anyway?” Pearl asked cringing in disgust. “We get all the energy we need from our Gems, and while our human constructs are capable of eating, I find the entire process very uncomfortable…”

“Heh, I love eating!” Amethyst chuckled, pulling out a bag of chips before sloppily shoving a handful into her mouth. “Feels weird…”

“Ok, ok, let’s focus,” Steven interjected to get them back on track. “We’ve only got a few hours left before Connie and her family get to the shack for dinner, and we’ve got to be ready! Now, which one of you would make the best and most nuclear mom…?” The young Gem paused, looking between his trio of guardians as they awaited his verdict expectantly. “Garnet!” he began enthusiastically approaching the Gem leader. “You keep us safe by scaring off the bad guys, just like a mom would!” Steven remained confident in the idea that Garnet would be suitable for this task, until, upon receiving only a stoic bout of silence from her and remembering her very brief conversation with Dr. Maheswaran on the phone the previous day, he was quick to change his mind. “But… you’re not the best conversationalist… Amethyst,” he said, stepping over to the purple Gem next. “You would be a super fun mom!”

Amethyst grinned brightly in agreement with this amidst her wildly munching on her snacks, drool haphazardly falling from her mouth as she picked her nose casually. “You bet I would!”

“Uh…” Steven frowned, aptly uncertain at the purple Gem’s qualification upon seeing this. “Can moms be gross?”

“Why not?” Amethyst shrugged, pulling a long, slimy strand of mucus out of her nose.

Steven stuck his tongue out in slight disgust at this, but all the same, he moved on to the final Gem in the trio. “Pearl!” he exclaimed with a relieved smile. “You’re always worried about me, you teach me lots of stuff, you’re approachable, and you’re like, totally not gross!”

Pearl was just about to proudly agree with all of these claims, but before she could, she happened to glance over and notice Amethyst, snot still streaming from her nose and chip crumbs stuck to her still-full cheeks. “Ugh…” the white Gem gagged, completely repulsed as she forced herself to look away.

“But… you can’t eat dinner…” Steven frowned, realizing he was right back to square one as he sulked over to the couch to take a seat next to his father. “Man, Dipper and Mabel are so lucky. At least they only have one family member they need to bring to dinner. Why did Connie have to say I have one mother instead of zero… or three?”

“Hey, we’ll figure this out, bud,” Greg said, placing an encouraging hand on his son’s shoulder. “We just have to put our heads together.”

At first, Steven wasn’t too consoled by this cliché. That is, until he took another glance over at the Gems and got a miraculous idea. “Why didn’t I think of it before?!” he exclaimed with an excited gasp, hopping to his feet. “It’s so obvious! You can all come to dinner—all three of you, fused into one!” his smile widened as he snapped his finger. “Alexandrite!”

“What?!” Pearl asked, aptly alarmed by such a suggestion.

“Whoa!” Amethyst gasped, stunned.

“Who?” Greg asked, mildly confused.

“Steven, you know we only fuse in deadly situations!” Pearl chastised.

“Yeah, like that time we punched Gideon’s stupid robot in the face,” Amethyst added before smirking in nostalgic amusement. “Heh, that was fun. Would love to do it again sometime. You know, if that robot wasn’t just a bunch of scrap metal now.”

“Oh, come on, you guys!” Steven pleaded to his guardians, desperate. “If Alexandrite comes to dinner, then it’d… it’d be like I’m actually bringing my whole family!”

“That’s ridiculous, Steven,” Pearl scoffed, crossing her arms.

“Fusion is serious magic,” Garnet agreed staunchly. “Not a trick for dinner parties.”

“I… I know…” Steven sighed in disappointment, realizing that the Gems were hard-set on their negative response. “Then I guess this is it… I’ll never get to see Connie again.” Tears were starting to fill the young Gem’s eyes at the thought of never getting to be with one of his dearest friends again, something that took all three of the Gems aback upon seeing them. “Oh, Connie!” Steven lamented dramatically. “I’ll never know a star that shines as bright as you!”

The Gems exchanged a sympathetic glance at this, none of them easily able to resist their young ward, especially in a matter such as this one. Which was why Garnet let out a long sigh and nodded her hesitant compliance, even if her future vision did grant her a glance at how disastrous this plan might turn out to be. “We have no choice…”

While they had to work on a rather tight schedule, the twins had made relatively quick work on making the shack’s front lawn presentable enough for the dinner party. With Soos’ help, Dipper and Mabel had managed to set up not just a pretty sizable table that Stan had “found”, but they had also set it and put up a vase of wilting flowers and a set of mostly-working Christmas lights to create a loose air of elegance. Helpful as always, Soos had also agreed to be the chef for the evening, even if he lacked any real tactile culinary skills outside of making simple snack foods. But aside from a few minor snags and concerns here and there (most of them relating to how the conman might handle himself), the twins were hopeful and even optimistic that the Maheswarans would, at the very least, be impressed by their efforts, if nothing else.

“Well, I think everything’s just about ready for tonight,” Mabel concluded with a satisfied smile as she looked over their handiwork.

“Well… almost everything…” Dipper remarked with a frown nodding over to Stan as he emerged from the shack.

“I mean it, Soos!” Stan called back into the kitchen, his tone cross and sour. “You better not use any super-fancy, expensive ingredients in whatever you plan on cooking! We’re not trying to impress these people; we’re just trying to get them to shut their yaps!”

“You think we’d be able to get through dinner with Grunkle Stan wearing tape over his mouth?” Mabel muttered to her brother apprehensively.

“Unfortunately, no,” Dipper shook his head, letting out an already tired sigh. “Hey, Grunkle Stan? You… do remember what we told you about being polite and friendly tonight… right?”

“’Course I do, kid,” Stan assured, adjusting his tie. “You want me to smile, shake their hands, and tell them off for being a bunch of annoying prudes.” Needless to say, both of the twins gasped in apt horror at this, eliciting an amused, callous laugh from the conman. “Kidding! I’m just kidding! Sheesh, can’t you kids take a joke?”

Dipper and Mabel shook their heads in disapproval over such a distasteful jab, but even so, they didn’t have much time to complain about it as a car pulled up to park on the other side of the shack. “Oh my gosh, they’re here already!” Dipper exclaimed in sudden alarm. “Man, Connie wasn’t kidding when she said her parents are always early.”

“Ok, places everyone!” Mabel called, frantically rushing to check over the table one last time. “Dipper, turn on the classy piano music!”

“Right,” Dipper nodded, hurrying over to the radio to do just that.

“Soos!” Mabel shouted into the open door into the shack. “Cook that food!”

“On it, dude!” the handyman confirmed back, accidentally knocking a pile of pans over in the process. “Oops!”

“Grunkle Stan-” Mabel stopped herself short as she turned to the conman, whose expression was stuck in its usual surly scowl. “Turn that frown upside down! We’re having ourselves a dinner party!”

As the Pines made their last-minute preparations, Connie and her parents emerged from their car, the latter already feeling quite anxious about how this night could possibly turn out. Quite a lot was riding on this evening, namely whether or not she would be able to see any of her closest friends again. And while she knew most of the factors that could potentially ruin it were rather out of her control, she was still resolved to do her part to make sure that everything would go off without a hitch.

Unfortunately though, one of those factors Connie had little reign over where just how unimpressed both of her parents were with the Mystery Shack upon a first glance. “So this is where you’ve been spending all your time at?” Mr. Maheswaran asked his daughter dubiously. “The entire place looks like it’s about to fall down at any minute!”

“Oh, uh… that’s just part of the… rustic Oregonian charm?” Connie ventured with a nervous smile.

“So where is this Mr. Pines fellow anyway?” Dr. Maheswaran asked with a controlled scowl. “I have a few choice words I’d like to say to him after our little conversation over the phone yesterday…”

“Mom…” Connie said in soft protest, flushing with slight embarrassment.

“Oh, don’t worry, Connie,” the doctor said, her tone still just as stiff and cold. “I only intend to give him the proper verbal thrashing for his complete and utter lack of decency or manners. That is, unless he can prove he’s capable of the opposite this evening.”

“I hope so…” Connie muttered to herself, though she paused in surprise along with her parents as they rounded the corner to the other side of the shack.

“Hi, Connie!” Mabel greeted boisterously, running up to meet the family. “Hi, Connie’s parents! It’s super great to finally meet you two! I’m Mabel, and that’s my brother, Dipper, and over there is-”

“Ok, Mabel, how about we tone it down, just a little?” Dipper cut in, knowing just from the Maheswaran’s startled expressions that his sister’s bold friendliness was perhaps a bit too much at the moment. “Oh, um… it’s nice to meet you both too,” he quickly said to Connie’s parents, offering them an awkward smile as he gently pushed Mabel away.

“Likewise…” Mr. Maheswaran said rather dryly as the family followed after the twins.

“So, I’m assuming you’re Mr. Pines then?” Dr. Maheswaran asked coldly as she walked up to Stan, who thus far had been standing by with a stoic expression.

“Nah, I’m just the creepy old hobo who shacks up in the storage closet,” Stan remarked callously, eliciting an alarmed, disturbed gasp from the Maheswarans. “Ha! You two are just as gullible as those kids! It was just a joke.” The conman let out another amused chuckle, though he sobered up as his nibblings both elbowed him in the knees, glaring up at him with the same disapproval the Maheswarans were looking to him with. “Ugh, fine,” he rolled his eyes, sighing in exasperation as he held out his hand. “Stan Pines.”

“Priyanka Maheswaran,” the doctor introduced herself, begrudgingly accepting the conman’s handshake. “And this is my husband, Doug.”

“It’s a… pleasure…” Doug nodded, still far from amused with Stan’s rather uncalled-for joke.

“So, about that conversation we had on the phone yesterday…” Priyanka began, giving Stan a critical look as she crossed her arms.

“Oh yeah,” the conman said, rolling his eyes. “So are you gonna apologize for nagging my ear off, or are you—ow!” Stan cut himself off as both of the twins sharply elbowed him once again. “Geez! What’s with you kids tonight? If you keep this up, I’ll be footing you two the bill for my orthopedic surgery!”

“Hey, so um, w-why don’t we all sit down and get ready to eat?” Connie interjected with a nervous smile, already giving her parents a light push over to the table. As the trio of adults stoically headed over to sit down, Connie stopped the twins short, her expression awash with open worry this time. “You guys, where’s Steven at?”

“We have no idea,” Dipper shook his head, also quite confused as he glanced up towards the temple. “It’s weird. He should be here by now…”

“Maybe he’s just having a hard time deciding which Gem he wants to bring to dinner?” Mabel suggested with a shrug. “I know that if I were him, I wouldn’t be able to pick between those three either; they’re all so great!”

“Well, I hope he hurries up and picks one,” Connie said with a diffident sigh. “My parents aren’t going to like that he’s running late. In case you haven’t noticed, they’re really punctual.”

“Well, look on the bright side,” Dipper attempted to encourage as they turned to head towards the table themselves. “At least Stan’s mostly behaving himself.”

“Look, all I was tryin’ to say yesterday was that kids and swords are a good combination,” Stan shrugged amidst his rather stilted conversation with the Maheswarans. “Especially when you need to beat a bunch of muggers back in a knife fight. Just send the kid in for you, and you’re golden. Even if the kid usually isn’t when it’s all said and done.”

“Looks like you spoke too soon,” Connie muttered to Dipper as the two of them and Mabel took their seats at the table.

“Oh, ha! T-that’s our Grunkle Stan!” Mabel attempted to cover for the conman to the appalled Maheswarans with a very forced laugh. “Doesn’t he tell the most hilarious jokes?”

“Hm… I don’t know if ‘hilarious’ would be the word I’d use to describe them…” Priyanka noted with an icy glower. “But, distasteful jokes and questionable child-rearing methods aside, Mr. Pines, our daughter mentioned that you’re in the… tourism business?”

“Uh, duh,” Stan remarked as though it was obvious, his tone already conveying just how bored he was with this conversation already. “What, you didn’t see the giant sigh that reads ‘Mystery Shack’ when you pulled up here?”

“Wha—of course, we-” Priyanka cut herself off with a sullen, frustrated growl. “What I meant to ask was, what exactly is this little… ‘Mystery Shack’ of yours?”

“Eh, its-”

“Oh! Oh! Oh! We got this one covered, Grunkle Stan!” Mabel quickly interjected before the conman could say anything that would further offend the Maheswarans. “The Mystery Shack is a very neat, very fun, and very safe place where people come to see all sorts of amazing stuff that you can’t find anywhere else!”

“Oh really?” Doug asked, genuinely curious. “Like what?”

“Like… uh…” Mabel trailed off, looking to her brother for help. Fortunately, Dipper was quick to take over, paying heed to Connie as she mouthed him a quick warning to leave all mentions of anything actually magical or paranormal out of it.

“L-like… rare indigenous rocks and unusually-shaped leaves,” he quickly ventured, hoping that the mundaneness of what he had just said would be no cause for alarm. And fortunately, it wasn’t.

“Interesting…” Priyanka mused, even if her tone was anything but interested. “So, kids, Connie says that you two are only staying in Gravity Falls for the summer?”

“Uh, yeah, that’s right,” Dipper confirmed with a nod, somewhat confused as to why the doctor was bringing this up.

“Oh, well that’s a relief,” Doug muttered to his wife, though he could still be clearly heard all the same. “At least we probably won’t have to worry about any sort of unwarranted relationship developing between Connie and the boy.”

“Dad!” Connie practically shouted, completely and utterly mortified at this suggestion alone. Likewise, Dipper choked on the water he had been sipping on upon hearing this, knowing that the only person Connie’s dad could have been referring to was him. For a moment, the only thing the two of them could do was exchange a flustered glance, one that was quick to break as they looked away from each other, both of their faces bright red with clear embarrassment.

Despite how alarmed both Dipper and Connie were by this idea, however, Mabel couldn’t hold back a huge burst of laughter, one that elicited unforgiving glares from the pair and surprised the rather confused Maheswarans. “Oh my gosh, I-I can’t believe they thought-” Mabel cut herself off with another loud chuckle as she beat against the table. “They thought you guys have thing for each other! That’s seriously the funniest thing I’ve ever heard! Though now that you mention it, you guys would be pretty cute together.”

“Mabel!” Dipper harshly protested, even if his sister was still completely lost in her hysterical laughing fit.

“Well, thank you for making things awkward, Doug…” Priyanka mumbled, giving her now very embarrassed husband a rather cynical look. “Or rather, even more awkward…”

“How was I supposed to know?” he whispered back with a shrug.

“Wait, you’re telling me you two aren’t an item?” Stan spoke up, looking between Dipper and Connie incredulously. “Huh, you’re kiddin’ me. And here I thought that nerds of a feather flocked together, or some kinda poetic garbage like that.”

As Dipper shot his uncle a fierce, but flustered glare, Connie simply let out a loud, exasperated groan as she facepalmed over just how badly this evening was going so far. “Steven, where are you?” she muttered to herself, hoping that the young Gem’s arrival would even everything out. And ironically enough, he happened to arrive right on cue.

The palpable tension and awkwardness going around the dinner table was abruptly broken as a sudden low rumbling began to sound from not too far away. The Maheswarans gasped in alarm at what they presumed to be an earthquake, and while Stan was only mildly confused, the kids exchanged a bewildered glance, especially as several rows of trees within the nearby woods began to topple over. And when the source of this sudden ruckus finally came into view, emerging from the tree line to stand tall over the shack, no one could hold back a gasp of complete and utter shock at what they saw.

“Hi, Connie!” Steven called down brightly from his spot upon Alexandrite’s shoulder. The fusion was also toting Greg upon her other shoulder, her expression blank and concealed by her large shades and her towering form just as intimidating as it had been the day she had battled the Gideon-bot. “Hi, Dipper, Mabel, and Mr. Pines! And hello, Mr. and Mrs. Maheswaran!”

Needless to say that the Maheswarans could scarcely believe their eyes upon seeing such a massive, multi-armed woman. And while, Connie, Dipper, and Mabel had seen her before, that hardly changed how stunned the former two were to see her now, even if the latter was completely delighted. “Hi, Alexandrite!” Mabel shouted up to the fusion, cheerfully waving at her.

The fusion simply put a hand up in greeting, not offering much of a verbal response as another pair of her hands reached up to lower Steven and Greg. “Thanks… honeybun?” the former tock star said, still rather uncomfortable with this situation at large.

“You’re welcome… Greg,” Alexandrite responded, her deep voice stoic as always.

Greg offered the fusion a rather awkward smile before turning to the still-awestruck Maheswarans. “I’m Greg Universe,” he greeted amicably. “And this massive drink of water is my wife, Alexandrite.”

“Hiiiii….” Alexandrite hissed stiffly, to which both of the Maheswarans simply nodded their own bewildered greetings in return.

“Alright, I’m just gonna come right out and ask,” Stan staunchly interrupted this exchange of pleasantries. “Greg, what the heck is that unholy six-armed abomination and what is she doing in my yard!?”

“Oh, uh, well…” Greg began nervously, especially as Steven looked to him in sudden panic. Thankfully though, the twins jumped in to clarify things for their uncle just in time.

“Oh, Grunkle Stan, you’re so silly!” Mabel let out a rather fake laugh. “You remember Alexandrite, right?”

“No,” Stan crossed his arms, reclining back in his seat a bit.

“You know? Alexandrite?” Dipper tried again before lowering his voice down to a whisper. “The Gems?”

Upon hearing this, Stan looked to the massive fusion incredulously, not fully buying this claim, but deciding to comply with it nonetheless. “Eh, whatever you say, kid. I guess I’ll go with it. Mostly because I’m already too done with this whole dinner thing to even care.”

“Heh, yeah, so…” Greg trailed off awkwardly as him and Steven took their seats. Alexandrite also sat, as much as she could, given her incredible height, paying no mind to the odd looks she was getting from the Maheswarans all the while. “Uh, when do we eat? I’m starved.”

“Food will be ready soon, dudes,” Soos reported as he coincidentally stepped out of the shack with a covered basket in hand. “But for now, enjoy these delicious hot breadsticks made by me, Soos.”

“Uh, Soos?” Dipper frowned upon lifting the napkin covering the basket a bit. “I think these breadsticks are burnt…”

“No way, dude,” Soos denied with a confident shake of his head. “The recipe I found online said to bake them until they a crispy, golden brown.”

“Yeah, well they’re crispy alright,” Stan remarked sardonically, pulling one of the charred breadsticks out of the basket and snapping it cleanly in half.

“Well, Alexandrite seems to like them,” Steven said with an optimistic smile as he grinned up at the fusion. She had already grabbed a generous handful of burnt breadsticks and was currently sloppily shoving them into her mouth, creating a rather sizable mess.

“I hope that Soos person can make unlimited breadsticks,” Doug whispered to his wife upon watching this bizarre scene unfold.

“Don’t be rude,” Priyanka chastised stoically.

Of course, seeing as how the pieces that composed Alexandrite were already torn on the matter of eating, it wasn’t long before the fusion gagged on her food. With a groan of protest, she stuck her tongue out, mushed breadsticks covering it and garnishing disgusted looks from almost everyone else sitting around the table. But all the same, Greg attempted to make light of it mostly for his son’s sake as he let out an anxious chuckle.

“Isn’t my wife a riot?” he asked with another nervous laugh after a beat of awkward silence.

“Oh, she’s certainly… something…” Priyanka said somewhat dubiously before addressing both Stan and Greg. “So, how exactly do your two families know each other?”

“Well, I used to work for Mr. Pines here at the shack several years ago-” Greg began before Stan cut him off.

“Yeah, those were the days,” the conman said with a reminiscing smirk. “You know, Greg wasn’t just a decent cashier, he was also a pretty reliable cover man. Like this one time, when I set a bunch of wild racoons loose in city hall, he kept his cool the whole time the police were here interrogating us about it. I got off on the whole thing scott-free, and it was hilarious! Cops, am I right?” he chuckled callously, despite the shared look of alarmed shock from his nibblings and Connie and the very unimpressed glares from the Maheswarans. “It’s so darn easy to pull the wool over their eyes! This guy knows what I’m talking about!” he exclaimed, sending Doug a wry smirk.

“Actually, I don’t,” he scowled dryly, far from amused. “Especially since I’m a member of the local law enforcement myself.”

Stan immediately sobered up upon hearing this, his laughter quickly fading as his expression dropped into an irritable glower. “Great, just what we need around here,” he muttered just to himself. “A cop. As if these two couldn’t get any more boring.”

“Heh, like we said,” Mabel interjected with an awkward laugh. “Our Grunkle Stan loves telling jokes. Especially about cops.”

“But he didn’t mean any of it, of course,” Dipper added just as anxiously, even if he knew it was a blatant lie. “A-and he certainly hasn’t ever done anything e-even remotely illegal!”

Connie breathed a soft sigh of relief upon seeing her parents seemingly buy this, and she didn’t hesitate to mouth a word of thanks to the twins for it. Unfortunately, however, the conversation kept going. “So, tell me, Mr. Universe,” Priyanka began evenly. “How did you and your, uh, wife, meet?”

“Huh? How did we meet?” Greg frowned, knowing Steven hadn’t prepared him for this question. “Well, we, uh…”

“They met on a roller coaster!” the young Gem cut in boisterously jumping out of his seat. Everyone looked to him in slight bewilderment and doubt over this claim, especially as they looked to the massive Alexandrite, who said nothing to confirm or deny it. Connie in particular gave Steven an aptly questioning glance, pressing him for more information, which he gave, albeit off the top of his head. “She… she was too tall to ride!” The young Gem chuckled awkwardly as he took his seat, though his levity was quick to dissipate upon seeing Connie shake her head in disapproval over this poorly-thought out story.

“Uh… yeah…” Greg hesitantly went along with what his son said as the Maheswarans looked to him for confirmation. “I remember it like it was yesterday. Right, h-honey?” He chuckled nervously, placing a hand against Alexandrite’s leg, though she was quick to pull it away. “Er… sorry…” he whispered to the fusion, blushing in embarrassment.

All the same, however, Alexandrite was quick to get even with the former rock star as she abruptly shoved his face into his plate. “Have some more breadsticks… dear.”

“Geez, talk about your dysfunctional relationship,” Stan deadpanned, rolling his eyes over this bizarre display.

“Uh, so…” Doug spoke up, letting out an awkward cough. “What is it you two do for a living, Mr. and Mrs. Universe?”

“Well, you see, I own a local car wash,” Greg began with a more relaxed grin. “And my dear, sweet wife here-”

“My mom works on an apple farm!” Steven exclaimed, putting no thought into his response at all.

Upon hearing this response, the only thing Connie could really do was let out a loud, exasperated sigh as she banged her head down onto the table, knowing that this evening was sinking and sinking fast, on all sides. “What did we say about heads on the table?” her mother scolded, prompting her to lift her head up, but only slightly.

At the same time, the twins exchanged an incredulous glance in light of Steven’s strange proclamation, both of them somewhat relieved that their family wasn’t the only one contributing to just how disastrous the night was turning out to be. “An apple farm?” Dipper muttered, shaking his head. “Seriously? That’s the best he could come up with?”

“H-hey, Steven!” Mabel spoke up as cheerfully as she could. “Aren’t you gonna tell them how your, uh… ‘mom’ got hired at that apple farm?”

“Oh yeah!” Steven exclaimed. “Uh, well… they hired her because… because she can use all her arms to pick apples out of the huge trees!”

“Well, you know what they say,” Greg interjected casually. “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”

“Yes,” Alexandrite said in her low, rumbling voice. “I hate doctors.”

“Well,” Priyanka scoffed, clearly offended. “I’m a doctor.”

“Steven, Dipper, Mabel, could I talk to you three inside for a second?!” Connie suddenly exclaimed, her head snapping up as she forced a smile onto her face. While the trio was slightly confused at this abrupt request, they all followed her inside the shack, none of them paying any mind to the questioning looks the adults were giving them as they left the table.

“So,” Steven began with a satisfied smile as they congregated in the den. “Things are going pretty good so far, huh?”

“Steven, please tell me you’re kidding,” Dipper remarked in dry exasperation. “Stan’s been incriminating himself all night and as for Alexandrite-”

“She’s a total mess,” Connie cut in, sending Steven a very annoyed glower. “Steven, what in the world were you thinking, bringing her to dinner?!”

“Well… s-she’s my family,” Steven shrugged innocently. “All of the Gems, fused into a…” he paused, counting on his fingers for a moment. “A six armed… giant woman…”

“Why couldn’t you just bring one of the Gems?” Connie asked, clearly stressed.

“Because that would be a lie,” the young Gem replied with a perplexed frown. “And I couldn’t pick between them. I just thought… I thought this would work out.”

“Well, it’s not,” Connie concluded with an exasperated sigh as she turned to the twins. “And really, Mr. Pines isn’t working out either. What gives, you guys? I thought you said he’d be on his best behavior!”

“To be honest, this kinda is Grunkle Stan’s best behavior,” Mabel shrugged. “In case you haven’t noticed, he sorta just says whatever pops into his brain, no matter how messed up or illegal it is.”

“Well, can’t you get him to, you know, try and get him to filter himself somehow?” Connie pleaded. “If things keep going the way they are, I’m pretty sure the night will end up with my dad and your uncle getting into a fist fight or something.”

“It’s not like there’s a whole lot we can do, Connie,” Dipper remarked defensively, crossing his arms. “Stan’s just sort of… being himself. And unfortunately for us, that means he’s being rude and completely careless about what he says.”

“Yeah, and the Gems are just being themselves too,” Steven added earnestly. “Or… as much of themselves as they can be when they’re all fused together like that…” The young Gem paused to mull over what he really meant by this, but as he did so, he happened to glance over at Connie and notice something he hadn’t really before. “Connie… Your glasses…”

“W-what about them?” she asked somewhat hesitantly, glancing away.

“I healed your eyes,” Steven frowned suspiciously. “You don’t even need to wear those anymore.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right,” Dipper said, just as confused. “Wait… Did you just… pop the frames out of your glasses to make it look like you still needed them?”

“Uh… I-I don’t know what you guys are talking about,” Connie scoffed, awkwardly adjusting the aforementioned empty frames.

“Oh my gosh, you did!” Steven gasped, appalled. “All that stuff you told your parents about my family… about both of our families—you’re just ashamed of us!”

“N-no, I’m not!” Connie protested, clearly flustered. “It… it’s just… Well, what am I supposed to tell my parents, you guys? That we’ve fought Gem monsters, living golf balls, and time travelers? That we go on wild, life-threatening adventures at least once a week? That Steven’s spit healed my eyes and that we literally fused into the same person for an entire evening? Even if they did believe any of that, they’d go crazy if they ever found out about all of the dangerous stuff we’ve done!”

“Yeah, but what’s so bad about all that stuff?” Mabel asked pensively. ��We’ve all had so many great times together this summer. Don’t you want your parents to know about at least a few of them?”

“Ugh, you guys just don’t understand!” Connie exclaimed in outright frustration. “My parents ae nowhere near as hands-off as Mr. Pines or the Gems are! If they found out that the Gems were magical aliens or that Mr. Pines is a swindling conman, then they’d never let me hang out with any of you guys ever again!”

“Listen, Connie, I understand that you’re worried,” Steven said, sympathetic and upset all at once. “But… what you’re asking from us, from our families… None of its real. We can’t be perfect or polite or nuclear, because that’s not who we are. Why… why can’t you and your parents just be… ok with that?”

“Because they… they just can’t,” Connie huffed tiredly, not wanting to discuss the matter any further. “Look, can you guys just… focus on getting through the evening? It’ll be over soon enough and then everything can go back to the way it usually is.”

“What, you mean wild and out of control?” Dipper asked, just as bitter as Steven and Mabel were over having to keep this unbelievable charade going.

“Exactly,” Connie muttered tightly, abruptly leading the way back outside.

Of course, in their brief absence, the evening had only deteriorated even more as a full on verbal brawl had managed to escalate between Stan and the Maheswarans. None of the kids had any idea what the context was, but by the harsh tones and even harsher words being thrown around, they could tell the argument was anything but light.

“Mr. Pines, everything you just said was not just unquestionable immoral, it was all completely illegal!” Doug exclaimed in heated disbelief. “How did you manage to pull any of that off!?

“By being smarter than any of the morons who tried to stop me, duh,” Stan shrugged callously.

“But what would even possess you to do any of that nonsense in the first place?” Priyanka asked, not sparing the conman from her disapproving glare. “Certainly you know such an extensive criminal record stands as a horrible example for your niece and nephew, right?”

“Pfft, come on,” Stan scoffed with a wave of his hand. “I’m a great example for the little runts. Why, if it wasn’t for me, they they’d have pretty much no important life skills like breaking and entering, forgery, or pick pocketing. And if you don’t take my word for it, just ask old six-arms over there.”

Upon hearing this, Alexandrite looked over to the conman, her expression as stiff and unchanging as ever as she said only one firm, dryly-given word. “Don’t.”

By this juncture, the kids had taken their seats once again, and Connie didn’t hesitate to leap in to detract the conversation away from Stan and his illegal pastimes. “S-so, Steven was just telling us that on his mom’s apple farm, they’re bioengineering a gala-fuji hybrid,” she said as eloquently as she could, sending Steven an imploring glance.

“Yes, that’s… definitely true…” Steven sighed, knowing that he really didn’t have much of a choice but to keep the lie going.

“Is that right, Mrs. Universe?” Priyanka asked with sparse curiosity. However, before Alexandrite could really reply, Soos emerged from the shack with the long-awaited dinner in tow: a large pan of piping hot spaghetti.

“K, dudes, dinner is served!” the handyman exclaimed with a proud grin as everyone served themselves. “Bon apple pie! Or whatever it is those fancy French chefs say.”

“Uh, Soos? Why does this spaghetti smell so weird?” Mabel asked as she looked to her plate dubiously.

“Oh, well, we were all out of spaghetti sauce,” Soos explained. “So I figured I’d just use the next best thing: ketchup!”

“Ketchup?!” Priyanka asked in alarm as Doug gagged his first mouthful back onto his plate. Stan and Greg both did the same thing as they tried to push the taste of the unflattering combo off of their tongues, and the kids wisely pushed their plates away, much to Soos’ confusion.

“Wait, I don’t get it. Ketchup and spaghetti sauce are both made out of the same stuff, right?” the handyman remarked, grabbing a spoonful of his culinary creation to try a taste test of it, though he was quick to choke on it. “Ugh! Wrong! Wrong! Why did I ever think this was a good idea?! Ack!”

Despite the revulsion for the meal going around the table, Alexandrite piled a heaping spoonful of the ketchup spaghetti for herself, though the moment she took in a whiff of it, one particular part of her let out a groan of protest. “Ugh! What are you doing?!” she asked, Pearl’s voice apparent in her tone as she shoved the pasta against her face. “I’m hungry!” the fusion growled with a touch of Amethyst’s voice, as another hand slapped the fork away. “I don’t think so!” she scolded herself, her second mouth appearing as Garnet took the reins. “Cut it out, you two!” she commanded, though things amongst the fusion only got worse from there. Torn between hunger and a refusal to eat, Alexandrite began essentially fighting herself, her arms slapping at each other as she groaned and growled in growing frustration. At one point, she even uppercut herself, only for her lower mouth to end up chomping down on the offending first.

“Dudes, this is so freaky and so rad,” Soos whispered to the twins as they all watched this madness unfold.

“Stop!” Steven finally shouted to his guardians as the conflict between them only worsened. “You don’t have to eat it!”

Alexandrite barely even heard her young ward as she grew increasingly more unstable, her face starting to crack and melt apart as her form began to dissipate. Everyone let out a startled gasp upon seeing this, though their shock only mounted as the fusion finally snapped apart, all three of her component Gems falling out of her and onto the ground below. Alarmed by this, everyone darted out of their seats and rushed over to try and make sense over what had just happened.

“Oh man, I was worried this might happen…” Greg muttered apprehensively, keeping his distance from the Gems as they recovered.

“Huh, looks like that thing really was the Gems after all,” Stan remarked stoically. “Eh, you know at this point, I can’t even say I’m surprised. I’ve gotten used to weirder from those three honestly.”

“Steven!” Pearl exclaimed after a moment of regathering her bearings. She dragged herself over to the young Gem, the dramatic desperation on her expression quite clear. “Oh, thank you so much! You don’t know how horrified I was when that foul dreck nearly fell into our mouths—oh, no offense, Soos.”

“None taken,” Soos shrugged amicably.

“But eating food is so disgusting!” Pearl continued, cringing in revulsion as she stood. “You chew it into nasty mush, swallow that goop, and then it comes out of you? What a completely horrid experience!”

“Heh, speak for yourself,” Amethyst said with a rouge grin. “I love it when mush passes through my body!”

“It doesn’t matter what you two think,” Garnet said with an angry scowl as she summoned her gauntlets. “We’re doing this for Steven!” On sheer frustration alone, the Gem leader firmly bonked both of her teammates squarely on the heads as punishment for their petty foolishness.

“So… I guess it’s safe to say dinner’s ruined now, huh?” Mabel asked somewhat awkwardly.

“Was it ever really not ruined?” Dipper retorted sardonically.

“What is going on here?!” Doug finally spoke up amidst his ongoing shock. “Who are they?!”

“I-its ok!” Connie interjected anxiously. “I can explain! They’re just-”

“You knew about this?!” Priyanka asked her daughter, completely appalled. “I can’t believe this. What else did you know that you failed to tell us? That the twins’ uncle is actually a renowned criminal? That tonight’s dinner would be nigh inedible?”

“B-but, Mom, I-”

“I knew I should have trusted my bad feelings about these new friends of yours,” the doctor shook her head in severe frustration. “But I never thought I wouldn’t be able to trust my own daughter!”

Connie took in a sharp gasp upon hearing this, her eyes already welling up with oncoming tears. Never before in her life had she disappointed her parents before, but she could tell from just her mother’s outraged tone alone that she had done just that and then some. By trying to win her parent’s approval for the sake of her friends, she had only just ended up garnishing their disapproval onto herself. And amidst all of the stress she had been under over this evening alone, she found that fact alone was more than she could possibly bear. Which was why, instead of trying explain things to her family against her spiking fear, anxiety, and worry, she took off, fleeing from her angry parents to get a moment of much-needed solitude. However, Steven and the twins weren’t about to let her completely slip away, especially as distraught as she was.

“Connie!” the young Gem called worriedly, already running after her with the twins not too far behind. Fortunately, none of the adults followed as the trio pursued her out to the bus stop a ways down the path leading to the shack, all three of them quite concerned for her after everything that had just happened.  

“Connie, are you ok?” Steven asked fretfully upon noticing how she was only barely holding back tears.

“You guys, I’m so sorry,” Connie began, her voice wavering as she averted their gazes. “It’s not that I’m ashamed of any of you. I was just so worried that my parents would think all this magic and paranormal stuff is weird. What if… what if they don’t let me hang out with you guys anymore?” As she voiced this concern, she finally ended up breaking down, the thought of losing her only real friends being completely unbearable to her.

Upon seeing this, Steven, Dipper, and Mabel all exchanged a fretful glance, none of them really sure how to comfort Connie at this juncture, especially since they all felt rather guilty for this disaster of a dinner in the first place. “Oh, Connie…” Steven spoke up first, putting a gentle, consoling hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry. I messed everything up by bringing Alexandrite tonight.”

“Oh, come on, Steven, it wasn’t just your fault,” Dipper cut in empathetically. “To be fair, we probably could have tried a little harder to get Stan to behave himself. So, Connie, we’re sorry too.”

“We’re all sorry!” Mabel exclaimed with a reassuring smile. “Together!”  

The kids all shared a brief laugh over this, but after it was over, Steven still let out a small, wistful sigh. “You know… I wish there was a way we could all just… hang out without having to worry about stuff.”

“Wait a second, that’s it!” Connie exclaimed with gasp of realization. “You guys, I know what to do. Let’s just hop on a bus and live somewhere else without telling anyone! That way no one can be mad about all of us being friends!”

A beat of silence passed in the wake of this sudden suggestion, but sure enough, the others were all quick to voice their enthusiastic agreement of it.

“That sounds like a great idea!” Steven grinned brightly.

“I don’t see any problems with it,” Dipper shrugged somewhat obliviously.

“This is gonna be so much fun!” Mabel cheered as a bus, coincidentally enough, pulled up to the stop right on cue. Without any signs of hesitation or further deliberation, all four of the kids boarded it, unanimously resolved and excited as they took the row seat in the back as the bus pulled into motion.

“So, where’s this bus taking us?” Steven asked curiously.

“It doesn’t matter,” Connie said with bold determination. “Wherever we end up, we’ll find a way to survive. I’ve been reading about sustainable living.”

“Yeah! We’ll live off the land!” Mabel exclaimed boisterously. “Just like real hobos do!”

“Or maybe this bus will take us to a real apple farm!” the young Gem grinned excitedly.

“What’s up with you and apples today?” Connie chuckled, sending him a wry grin.

“Wait a second,” Dipper cut in upon actually thinking about the implications of what they were doing. “Guys, did we really just get on a bus heading out of town without telling anyone or without coming up with any sort of plan?”

The others took pause at this, their smiles fading as they began to realize just how impromptu and impulsive their flight really was. However, before they had any chance to discuss it, a sudden distant thumping rattled the entire bus from behind.

“Uh… what was that?” Connie asked with sudden alarm as the rumbling continued, growing louder and closer with each passing second. As the kids glanced out the back window behind them, they all let out a shared gasp of fear upon seeing Alexandrite running after the bus at a frightening speed.

“Steven!” she shouted fiercely, her lower mouth revealing itself and all of its sharp, deadly teeth. The kids all cried in apt panic over this, knowing that they were in immense trouble for running away if the terrifying fusion herself hotly pursuing them.

“Whoa, you know, being on a bus that’s being chased by a loud, angry giant is like, a total déjà vu moment,” Mabel remarked amidst the others’ fearful screams.

All the same, Alexandrite easily caught up to the bus, her lower arms hoisting it up into the air as she glared down at the kids inside of it. “You four! Come out of that bus this instant!”

“Y-you don’t have to tell us twice!” Dipper exclaimed, aptly frightened.

“Y-yeah, ok!” Steven shakily agreed, knowing they were in no position to argue with the massive fusion. “J-just put the bus down first!”

As soon as the kids sheepishly got off of the bus, Alexandrite unfused, though her three component Gems were still seething as they escorted the group back to the Mystery Shack, where Stan, Greg, and the Maheswarans were worriedly and angrily waiting. Even if the kids had only been gone for roughly about ten minutes, that didn’t mean that they adults were any less angry with them for even entertaining the thought of running away, which was why they didn’t hesitate to give them a proper scolding for it.

“I don’t even begin with you, young lady,” Priyanka scowled disapprovingly at her daughter, who could only stand by in ashamed silence. “You should have known better than to-”

“What the heck is wrong with you two knuckleheads?!” the doctor cut herself off upon hearing Stan firmly ream the twins out. “What, you really thought you’d be able to make it out there on your own? You kids don’t know anything about how dangerous it really is out there, and I should know, seeing as how I’ve been around the block more than a few times! And I don’t care how fun and glamorous I make it seem sometimes, I don’t ever want you two going out and living on the lamb like I did. Seriously, what were you kids thinking?!”

“Uh… I guess we weren’t thinking?” Mabel shrugged apologetically.

“Yeah, in hindsight, just running off like that was kind of a bad idea…” Dipper frowned awkwardly.

“Bad? More like downright stupid!” Stan exclaimed adamantly. “And if I ever catch either of you pulling a cockamamie stunt like this again, then I’ll make sure you both get that bus ride like you tried to go on tonight. Only this time, it’ll be a one-way trip home to your parents, you got it?”

Of course, both of the twins nodded humbly, knowing by the conman’s genuinely irate tone that he was completely serious about this threat to send them home. At the same time, the Gems were also in the middle of chastising Steven over what had just happened, and just like Stan, they weren’t holding back just how upset they were with their young ward over it.

“Steven, we can’t believe this!” Pearl exclaimed incredulously. “What’s gotten into you, running away with Connie and the twins? You could have gotten yourselves hurt!”

“Or gotten mangled in traffic,” Garnet added staunchly.

“Or thrown in prison,” Amethyst finished, exchanging a knowing glance with Stan.

“Steven, you are in very big trouble, and we have no choice but to punish you,” Pearl concluded, crossing her arms.

“But-” Steven attempt to defend himself, but Garnet didn’t give him a chance.

“No dinner for 1,000 years,” the Gem leader ordered firmly.

“1,000 years?!” Steven gasped in apt alarm.

“We would never starve you, Steven,” Pearl shook her head, placing a hand on the young Gem’s shoulder. “But you will lose your TV privileges… for 1,000 years.”

“No!” Steven wailed morosely. “I’ll miss the midseason pre-finale of Under the Knife! How could you do this to me!?”

“Because we love you, Steven,” Greg said, his tone a bit gentler than the Gems’ but just as resolved, even despite the young Gem’s miserable groan.

“And as for you two,” Stan said to the twins, his hands on his hips. “Well, if you think I’m such a pushover that I’ll let you get away with something like this scott-free, then you got another thing coming. Consider yourselves grounded from going on any of your little magical, ‘mystery hunts’ until further notice.”

“What?!” Dipper exclaimed, far more upset over this punishment than Mabel was, even if she was far from happy about it herself. “Come on, Grunkle Stan, you can’t just-”

“I can and I am,” the conman remarked coldly. “In case you two have forgotten, I’m the boss around here, not you. And it’s about time you runts finally realized that.”

As dejected as both of the twins and Steven were over their respective punishments, this issuing was soon interrupted by a round of pleased applause from the Maheswarans, who had been watching the entire thing. “Wow,” Priyanka remarked, genuinely impressed. “That was a masterful use of both the ‘because we love you’ and the ‘I’m the boss’ shutdowns. I’m quite partial to ‘it’s for your own good’ myself.”

“Yeah, well it may not have been pretty,” Stan remarked with a shrug. “But sometimes these little munchkins gotta learn the hard way.”

“More like the lame way,” Mabel pouted, crossing her arms bitterly.

“Oh, I completely agree,” Priyanka nodded with a satisfied smile. “You know, I think I might have been a bit too quick to misjudge you, Mr. Pines. Despite your shady history and your… rough around the edges personality, it’s clear to see that you really do care about your niece and nephew. So I suppose… I owe you an apology. Or rather, we both do,” she said, elbowing her husband as he nodded in somewhat hesitant agreement.

“Yeah, well… I guess I kinda owe you one too,” Stan said tersely, finally swallowing his pride as he took the doctor’s extended hand for a shake. “Ya’ know, just as long as you don’t call me up anymore to fuss at me over being a ‘responsible parent’ or anything like that.”

“I don’t think that will be a problem in the future,” Priyanka chuckled casually. At the same time, the kids all exchanged somewhat confused glances, none of them entirely sure what was going on, but realizing all the same that things were suddenly starting to smooth themselves over, against all odds.

“I gotta say,” Doug spoke up, turning to the Gems with an amused smirk. “That ‘1,000 years of no dinner bit’ was pretty funny.”

“All comedy is derived from fear,” Garnet said, her tone completely stiff and serious as always, even despite the laughter this response elicited from the Maheswarans.

“I didn’t know what to make of the two—excuse me—four of you, at first,” Priyanka began, looking to the Gems herself. “But I see that you are all responsible parents—uh, caregivers? Guardians?”

“Heh, thanks,” Greg grinned humbly, scatching the back of his neck. “Hey, you know, since dinner here turned out to be a bit of a, uh… bust, why don’t we all just go out for pizza instead? My treat!”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea,” Doug nodded solidly.

“Now we’re talking!” Stan exclaimed, mostly happy about not having to pay for the meal.

“Did somebody say pizza?” Soos asked, poking his head out of the shack. “Dudes, wait up! I’m coming too!”

“Wait!” Connie cut in before everyone could take off, addressing her parents.  “There’s just one more thing I need to know. Can… can I still hang out with Steven, Dipper, and Mabel?”

The Maheswarans exchanged a brief glance at this, both of them seemingly skeptical as the kids all looked to them pleadingly. But in the end, neither of them could really say no to such hopeful faces, especially after the hectic night they had just had. “Sure,” Priyanka conceded. “But only if you’re not keeping anymore bewildering secrets from us.”

“O-oh… well… uh…” Connie trailed off, looking to the others somewhat nervously, especially as she remembered there was still so much she hadn’t told her parents about their summer adventures. But all the same, she kept it cool, knowing that if the time ever came for her to reveal such information to them, then she would. Maybe. “No. No, ma’am, there… there’s nothing else.”

“Hm,” the doctor nodded, buying this for the time being. “Very good then.”

“Alright!” Steven cheered, happy to know that their friendship could continue just as strong as ever. “The Mystery Kids are here to stay!” Unable to contain his excitement, the young Gem pulled both of the twins and Connie into a tight, celebratory hug. Dipper and Mabel laughingly reciprocated it, but Connie was a bit more hesitant to, especially upon glancing over and seeing her parents’ disapproving scowls.

And sure enough, Doug was quick to step in, largely since his daughter was currently hugging two boys more than anything else. The kids were caught off guard as he abruptly separated the four of them, pulling Connie away a bit and grinning in satisfaction over the distance he had put between them. But all the same, the kids simply shared a shrug and a laugh, all of them more than relieved that, even after the disastrous evening that had just unfolded, their friendship could continue to go on. And for the sake of that friendship, it made harsh parental scolding, losing TV privileges, and a firm grounding, more than worth it.  

Next: 

[bloodtreachery]

The Gang Goes to the Beach pt 1- All A-vored!

It was 4 in the morning, and the band room had already erupted in chaos.

Really, 4 AM seems to be a normal report time at this point. Why wouldn't the band room be in chaos at any given point of time.

This time was special though. It wasn't a bitter October morning, spent running around preparing uniforms, warming up, and finding a disgusting amount of hair ties for Nova’s mane hair. No, the chaos was caused on a mild April morning by a bunch of teenagers excited out of their minds for a Band Vacation.

Yes, someone thought it was a good idea to bring 20-ish superpowered (and non-superpowered) teenagers all to the beach together for a week with minimal adult supervision and didn't think ‘Huh, maybe this is dangerous’. This someone was Moniqa. God Bless Moniqa.

While waiting for the slackers (Merak, and Copen namely) to arrive, those already taking up residency in the band room double checked suitcases or just got into shenanigans.

Xiao and GV were amongst the ones to be pouring over checklists to make sure nothing was left behind.

“Pants? Underwear?” Xiao said, trying to decipher the rushed list GV made at some unholy hour the night before. "Phone? Wait where's charger on th- nevermind."

“Yeah, yeah,” GV replied as he filed through various clothes to identify what he needed.

“Binders? Backup bras?” Xiao said, seemingly emphasizing the last part.

GV rolled his eyes, “Yes, and yes your nagging finally got to me, dad. ”

Xiao put down the checklist, “Hey, you're gonna thank me when you can breathe properly and your chest isn't all fucked up.”

Meanwhile, Teseo was enjoying himself by singing cheesy pop songs extremely out of key and extremely close to Gibril, who was having none of it.

“Don't quit your day job, Teseo. You suck.” she said as she scrambled to find her headphones in her suitcase.

Teseo’s goblin grin only widened, “Aww, don't b such a #partypooper. I sound great,”

Gibril grunted in response, “Yeah sure, but your taste in music is still shit.”

“Ooh, I gotta get better tunes then, that's y ur so salty? Maybe I'll pass u off 2 Ghauri so you can listen to his beats, LOL!”

“You're not making sense anymore.”

“The inner workings of my mind are an enigma >:3c”

“Stop.”

Fortunately for Gibril (or perhaps unfortunately), Merak and Copen finally decided to show up and everyone was finally allowed to board the bus, slowly, so we wouldn't have any trampled students, or at least minimum possible. After a fair bit of shoving and making sure no one was actually trampled, the rowdy bus fell into silence as it’s 4:30 in the morning and if there's something these guys love more than chaos it's sleep.

That and questionable things happening in the back seat.

You see when it's 4:30 AM and at the very back of the bus, the 'No PDA' rule flat out doesn't exist. Xiao knew this better than anyone else. Xiao also knew that in these situations, playing video games with headphones not only blocks out unsavory noises but also the crippling feeling of loneliness and yearning for love. We've all been there, Xiao.

Now thankfully for all parties involved and not involved, there was nothing happening in the back seat that was beyond Zeno covering his small fuse box of a boyfriend in kisses and whispering very gay things into his ear while he thinks no one can hear him. Everyone who's awake totally can and kinda want him to know it but also kinda too nosy to stop him.

(Also everyone can notice the flustered sparks coming off of GV’s body that might be a electrical fire waiting to happen, but it's not yet so therefore it doesn't matter)

“Geeeeeves, you're so cute when you're flustered,” Zeno cooed as he nuzzled his nose into GV’s bright red cheeks. “I could just eat you up!”

Now normally this would be a sign of endearment and not an offer of cannibalism or something worse, but Teseo, on of the nosy conscious people, did not take it that way.

“OMG Zeno, I didn't know you were into vore! #exposed #kinkshamed”

“ What,”

Teseo said that a lot louder than he expected, a lot louder. Woke some people up even. Asshole.

Now with some new sets of tired eyes on him, Teseo didn't know what to do with all the sudden attention. He had to think fast.

“I mean, r u guys hearing what he'd said back there? I'm just sayin what everyone's thinking ��\_(ツ)_/¯”

Now the eyes had shifted to the back where Zeno and GV were trying to get untangled as best as two sleepy teenagers in the dark could, also needing to think fast on how to reply.

“Uh, how about you don't eavesdrop? Teseo I know you're lonely but that doesn't mean you have to listen to us to get a taste of what having a significant other is like.” GV replied, before laying his head onto Zeno’s shoulder.

Now anyone who wasn't awake was brought back to the world of the living as everyone broke out into “OOOOOOOOOOH”s at the unintentional (or perhaps intentional) roast of the year. Teseo slinked back into his seat, perhaps to search for some aloe vera.

“Gibril, how long is it until we get there?” Teseo said, nudging his seat partner, who was blasting heavy metal at full volume in attempt to muffle the tomfoolery.

Gibril glanced at her phone, looked back up, and without moving her head at all, said “Teseo we've been on the road a little less than an hour. We're gonna be here a while.”

“Fuck.”

[sherristockman]

Ketogenic Diet Often Better Than Drugs for the Treatment of Epilepsy Dr. Mercola By Dr. Mercola This year marks the 20th anniversary of "First Do No Harm," a film directed by American movie director and writer Jim Abrahams. Based on real-life events, the film relates the successful treatment of one boy's severe case of epilepsy using a ketogenic diet. Prior to the fictionalized family's discovery of the diet, their youngest son, Robbie, was given many pharmaceutical medications, some of which caused constipation, fevers, rashes and other harmful side effects, including at least one near-death episode. Aspects of the storyline mirror Abrahams' own experience with his infant son Charlie, who makes a brief cameo appearance in the film as one of Robbie's playmates in the hospital. Charlie was diagnosed with epilepsy when he was just 11 months old. Similar to the mother in the movie, played by Meryl Streep, after Abrahams watched his son suffer through multiple daily seizures, the accompanying accidents and injuries, and a slew of pharmaceutical drugs, he became aware of the ketogenic diet through personal research. As with the boy in the movie, within the first month of implementing the diet, Charlie became seizure- and drug-free. Charlie continued on the ketogenic diet for five years, after which he resumed eating regular food, and has never had another seizure since. "First Do No Harm" will give you a sense of the intensity and desperation that often accompany serious illness. You also will get a glimpse of the emotional and financial burdens placed on families facing a major health crisis. Moreover, the film shines a bright light on the harm that is routinely inflicted by doctors and drug companies through what may appear to be guesswork and trial-and-error procedures related to the treatment of complex health issues. If you've had doubts that looking beyond conventional medicine is worth your time, "First Do No Harm" will remind you again that so-called "alternative approaches," such as the ketogenic diet, actually underscore the value of plain old common sense when it comes to optimizing your health. Why Are Drugs Often the First Choice in Epilepsy Treatment? As you may know, epilepsy is a neurological disorder marked by abnormal electrical discharges in the brain that trigger seizures. These sudden brief episodes can be intense and are generally characterized by altered or diminished consciousness, convulsions and involuntary movements. The Epilepsy Foundation suggests epilepsy is the fourth most common neurological condition, with an estimated 65 million people worldwide affected by it.1 Some 150,000 Americans are diagnosed with epilepsy annually, with children and older adults experiencing the highest incidence rates.2 The recurring seizures that accompany epilepsy can have a significant impact on a person's quality of life, given the heightened risk of accidents and injuries. According to the Mayo Clinic,3 pharmaceutical drugs are the first and most commonly used treatment method for epilepsy. Unfortunately, it takes time and experimentation to find a suitable drug, and these medications are often accompanied by unpleasant side effects that can do more harm than good. Some of the side effects range from the less serious — fatigue, rashes and weight gain, to the more serious — depression, inflammation of vital organs, such as your liver, and suicidal behavior. In the movie, after noticing that one of the other children in her son Robbie's hospital ward had died, presumably from the treatment administered to the girl for epilepsy, which included brain surgery, Streep's character gets angry. Shouting at her son's doctor and two other hospital employees, she asserts: "There's something wrong here. There's something really, really, really wrong! I bring my kid to you people for help, and all you do is make him sicker. You give him one drug, and then he needs another drug to cure him of the first one. And then he needs another drug to take away the side effects of that one! And another one and another one and another one. I mean, he, he has had a rash, swollen glands, a fever, constipation, hemorrhoids, bleeding gums, and he acts like a drunk, a zombie, a psycho. And it's not because of his sickness. It's because of your cure!" If drugs are ineffective, as they were for Robbie, other potential interventions for epilepsy sufferers include:4 Surgery: If your seizures originate in a small, well-defined area of your brain that does not interfere with vital functions such as hearing, motor function or speech, it may be possible to surgically remove the area suspected to be the source of your seizures Vagus nerve stimulation: An implanted pulse generator similar to a pacemaker stimulates your vagus nerve, stabilizing abnormal electrical activity in your brain; such treatment has been shown to reduce seizures by 20 to 40 percent Ketogenic diet: A diet high in healthy fats and low in carbohydrates that, for epileptics, is strictly monitored and medically supervised, the diet works for some, but not all epileptics When Conventional Treatments Fail, Hopeful Alternatives Often Surface Just as Streep was making plans to remove Robbie from the hospital where he had been treated unsuccessfully with toxic, life-altering drugs for months, Robbie's doctor was making plans to recommend brain surgery. In desperation, Streep had been scouring medical journals and other publications for weeks when she stumbled across a book by Samuel Livingston, published in 1972, titled "Comprehensive Management of Epilepsy in Infancy, Childhood and Adolescence." When attempting to inform Robbie's doctor of her findings, Streep states: "I've been doing some reading, and I've come across a treatment for epilepsy called the ketogenic diet. It's by a doctor from Johns Hopkins. And the diet, as best as I understand it makes the body go into a fasting state, and something about that fasting state stops the seizures." In response, the doctor, who clearly is not a fan of a dietary intervention, sarcastically retorts: "'The Comprehensive Management of Epilepsy in Infancy, Childhood and Adolescence' by Samuel Livingston. The bible on pediatric epilepsy. Every neurologist in the country owns a copy. With the exception of the material on the ketogenic diet, it's an invaluable piece of medical literature. The diet is not an approved treatment, but there have been a lot of studies. Those studies are anecdotal, and not the kind of studies we base sound medical judgment on — not double-blind studies. The ketogenic diet is highly suspect. You have to starve the child to begin with, and what you feed him consists mainly of fat, which is not only unpalatable, but nutritionally inadequate and extremely difficult to maintain. I've seen it tried a few times, and my experience is that it simply doesn't work." Streep is undaunted by the doctor's sarcastic response and becomes even more determined to travel to Johns Hopkins to have her son evaluated as a candidate for the treatment using the ketogenic diet. Within a matter of days, Robbie begins the diet and is weaned off his medications. In short order, his seizures are diminished and then totally gone. His parents are amazed at his recovery. Streep discovers that the dietician helping Robbie with his new manner of eating had been administering the ketogenic diet at Johns Hopkins for more than 40 years. In response, Streep's husband in the film, played by Fred Ward, says: "I mean, how many children have been given drugs and operated on, and not one of them was told of this diet? Something doesn't make sense. I mean, if all the doctors we've talked to know about this … ketogenic diet, even if they don't like it for some reason, don't they have to tell us about it? Can they really censor information like this? How can there be joint decision making if they don't give us information and tell us the options? Didn't you say Doc Peterson, talked with his neurologist friends about Robbie — and not one of them mentioned the diet? … Just drugs and surgery. If [the diet] stands any chance of working, let alone a 1 in 3 chance of stopping his seizures altogether, why would they rob us of that hope?" The Ketogenic Diet and Intermittent Fasting: A Powerful Combination A ketogenic diet calls for minimizing carbohydrates and replacing them with healthy fats and adequate amounts of high-quality protein. I recommend a cyclical or targeted ketogenic diet for everyone, where you increase carbs and protein once you are able to burn fat for fuel on the two to three days a week you are strength training. I believe this is healthy for most individuals, whether they have a chronic health problem or not. I say that because the ketogenic diet will help you optimize your health by converting from burning carbohydrates for energy to burning fat as your primary source of fuel. You can learn more about this approach to improving mitochondrial function in my latest book, "Fat for Fuel." One of the most common side effects of being a sugar-burner is that you end up with insulin and leptin resistance, which it at the root of most chronic disease. Keep in mind that adopting the ketogenic diet along with intermittent fasting may further boost your results. Intermittent fasting is one of the most effective strategies I know of to shift your body from burning sugar to burning fat as your primary fuel. While there are many different strategies, my favorite (and the one I personally used to become fat adapted) is to simply restrict your daily eating to within a six- to eight-hour window, which means you're fasting for about 16 to18 hours each day. I have now increased that time to 20 to 21 hours per day of fasting. This kind of intermittent fasting can also be a useful modality to help you make a more gradual transition to a ketogenic diet, as it helps break your body's addiction to glucose. In fact, eliminating sugar cravings is one of the most welcomed side effects of intermittent fasting. If you are overweight and have a serious disease, then I believe water fasting for a week or more is likely a better option. Getting the Word Out About the Ketogenic Diet for Children With Epilepsy After discovering the ketogenic diet and seeing how it transformed his son's life, Abrahams and his wife launched The Charlie Foundation to Help Cure Pediatric Epilepsy in 1994. After the organization expanded its mission and sought to apply the diet to conditions such as ALS, autism, cancer, Parkinson's and Type 2 diabetes, it was renamed The Charlie Foundation for Ketogenic Therapies.5 About his experience with helping his son, Abrahams said:6 "After monotherapy, and then endless drug cocktails failed, I started doing my own research and stumbled across the ketogenic diet — a nearly extinct, high-fat diet for kids with intractable epilepsy that was known to help control and often even stop seizures. With the advent of new drugs, the diet — once a first line of therapy — had fallen into disuse. However, we were able to find a dietitian who was familiar with it and who was willing to start Charlie on it right away. His seizures went away in two days. He stopped taking drugs within a month, and his development returned. It was a miracle. After five years on the diet, he began to eat regular foods again and the seizures have never come back … I asked Charlie's doctor why we had to learn about the diet on our own — why none of his other doctors had ever told us about it. He believed the diet would never become accepted as a conventional treatment because of the way our medical establishment shares information. [After Charlie was healed], my life took on new purpose. The ketogenic diet had to be made an option — an early option. Because doctors weren't informing families about this treatment option, were misinforming them or were administering the diet improperly, this information needed to go directly to the families." Since its inception, the Foundation has confirmed the:7 Value of the ketogenic diet thousands of times anecdotally, as well as by a randomized controlled study,8 for the successful treatment of epilepsy Improvement of uncontrolled seizures in children and adults, with many becoming drug- and seizure-free and able to return to a normal diet Development of less restrictive versions of the ketogenic diet for use by a larger segment of the global epilepsy population Presence of more than 200 hospitals worldwide with ketogenic diet programs, which includes a requirement for all advanced-level epilepsy treatment centers in the U.S. to provide ketogenic diet therapy Creation of new applications of the ketogenic diet for ALS, autism, cancer, Parkinson's disease and Type 2 diabetes Ketogenic Diet Also Effective for Adult Epileptics While the ketogenic diet has a successful track record in treating epileptic children, adult studies have been somewhat scarce. A 2014 body of research published in Neurology9,10 analyzed two types of diets used to treat adult sufferers of epilepsy: Ketogenic diet, consisting of a 3-to-1-to-1 or 4-to-1-to-1 fat-to-carbohydrate-to-protein ratio, with 87 to 90 percent of calories from fat Modified Atkins diet, comprising a 1-to-1-to-1 fat-to-carbohydrate-to-protein ratio, with approximately 50 percent of calories from fat In all, the results were very similar between the two diets: Thirty-two percent of those on a ketogenic diet and 29 percent of those on a modified Atkins diet reduced their seizures by about half. A small subset of patients — 9 percent of those following a ketogenic diet, and 5 percent of those using a modified Atkins diet — reduced the frequency of their seizures by more than 90 percent. While the beneficial effects were persistent as long as participants remained on the diet, the rates of acceptance and continuance of the diets were found to be low. More than half of all patients following a ketogenic diet discontinued it before the end of the study period, as did 42 percent of those on a modified Atkins diet. For those who stayed the course, however, the results were typically rapid and quite beneficial. While it has been shown that children sometimes remain seizure-free after discontinuing a ketogenic diet, adult epileptics very likely must maintain the diet indefinitely, or suffer a relapse. Dr. Pavel Klein, neurologist and director of the Mid-Atlantic Epilepsy and Sleep Center in Bethesda, Maryland, a co-author of the research, stated: "Unfortunately, long-term use of these diets is low because they are so limited and complicated. Most people eventually stop the diet because of the culinary and social restrictions. However, these studies show the diets are moderately to very effective as another option for people with epilepsy." How to Get Started With the Ketogenic Diet As you will see below, the ketogenic diet recommended for epileptics is close to what could be considered an ideal way of eating for most people. In fact, I believe a cyclical ketogenic diet can be very beneficial for the vast majority of people, either alone or in combination with intermittent fasting. The primary difference between someone struggling with a chronic disease such as epilepsy or cancer and people who have not yet been diagnosed with a chronic disease comes down to how strictly you must follow it and how long you have to maintain this type of regimen. As a general rule, if you are insulin resistant, I recommend intermittent fasting along with a ketogenic-type diet for as long as it takes to resolve your insulin resistance. At that point, you can increase your number of meals. Regardless of whether you're intermittently fasting or not, I believe the following food guidelines will be beneficial for you — especially if you're trying to shed unwanted weight. Start by: Avoiding processed foods, refined sugar and processed fructose in excess of 15 grams per day and grains Eating whole foods, ideally organic and minimizing or ideally eliminating all processed foods Replacing grain carbohydrates with large amounts of organic vegetables, higher amounts of healthy fats and low-to-moderate amounts of high-quality protein; more information about protein follows below Consuming about 50 to 85 percent of your total diet in high-quality, healthy fats — saturated and monounsaturated fats from animal and tropical oil sources — including the following: Animal-based omega-3 fat such as krill oil, and small fatty fish like anchovies and sardines Avocados Butter made from raw grass fed organic milk Cacao butter (raw) Coconuts and coconut oil Dairy (raw, grass fed) Ghee, also known as clarified butter Lard and tallow Meat (grass fed, organic) Nuts (raw), such as macadamia and pecans Olives and olive oil Organic pastured egg yolks Seeds like black sesame, cumin, hemp and pumpkin Unheated organic nut oils Wild Alaskan salmon Are You Eating Too Much Protein? It's important to note that most Americans eat far more protein than needed for optimal health. On average, your body requires about one-half gram of protein per pound of lean body mass, which translates to about 40 to 70 grams of protein a day for most people. If you aggressively exercise, are a competitive athlete or are pregnant, you may need up to 25 percent more protein than average. The rationale behind limiting your protein is significant. When you consume excessive protein, it activates your mTOR (mammalian target of rapamycin) pathway, which can help you gain large muscle, but may also increase your risk of cancer. There is also research suggesting the mTOR gene is a significant regulator of the aging process.11 Suppressing this gene appears to be linked to longer life. To determine whether you're getting too much protein, first calculate your lean body mass by subtracting your body fat percentage from 100. For example, if you have 20 percent body fat, you have 80 percent lean body mass. Then write down everything you're eating for a few days, and calculate the amount of daily protein from all sources. You could simply Google each food to find out how much protein it contains. An easy tip to remember is that a 3 to 4 ounce serving of protein is about the size of a standard deck of playing cards. Two Additional Considerations for Epilepsy While it does not necessarily work for everyone, I wholeheartedly endorse cyclical or targeted ketosis as a first line of treatment for epilepsy and most all other chronic diseases. It is particularly beneficial if you are seeking a drug-free alternative, or have found drugs to be more detrimental than helpful, to managing your seizures. That said, two other considerations I want to mention that may help you manage your seizures are: • Cannabis oil: Children with epilepsy can often find rapid relief using cannabis oil, although results vary, and not every child will respond well immediately. Dr. Margaret Gedde, owner and founder of Gedde Whole Health, located in Colorado, a provider of medical marijuana physician services, suggests about 25 percent of child epileptics experience a significant reduction in seizures within days or weeks when using cannabis oil. • Vitamin D: Because having frequent seizures may interfere with your ability to get outdoors and get sun exposure, epileptics may be deficient in vitamin D. Some antiepileptic drugs can interfere with its metabolism, also leading to deficiency. Because epilepsy is a disorder of the central nervous system, particularly your brain, and vitamin D is a neuroregulatory steroidal hormone that influences nearly 3,000 different genes in your body, your vitamin D levels can positively influence your condition. For starters, vitamin D can enhance the amount of important chemicals in your brain needed to protect your brain cells. Changing Your Diet Now May Enable You to Avoid Drugs and Surgery Later In a climactic scene in "First Do No Harm," when Robbie was being released from his local hospital so his mom could take him to Johns Hopkins to investigate the ketogenic diet, a family friend, who was also a licensed physician, told Robbie's doctor: "When you and I became doctors, we swore an oath that said, 'First do no harm.' Now, if these folks want to try to control their son's seizures by changing what he eats — instead of drugs and surgery — well, I think they deserve that chance." I couldn't agree more with this man's assessment — we all are worthy of high-quality, individualized medical treatment. No matter the medical advice or diagnosis you have received, I believe you can improve your health today simply by changing how and what you eat. By making a commitment to a cyclical or targeted ketogenic diet with intermittent fasting now, you may be able to avoid drugs and surgery later. The ketogenic diet has been shown to improve the quality of life for epileptics, and I believe it can improve your quality of life, too!