#six underground fanfiction

[wrongroadbuddy]

The world from a child's eyes

(part2)

Undertoday AU

Part1

A.n: I don't understand why this took this long, but here it is! And now, I'm going to disappear again :D

[aflawedfashion]

I wonder if the gang comes together in the finale to print Richie's photos of cops targeting gay men, and they all decide to blow up absolutely everything because they have nothing left to lose now that Constance has control and they choose do the right thing

That would be a good ending

[talesofphantombandits]

Before there was Six, there was Zero.

Hello my beautiful people! So this has been in the works for a while, I'm currently on a week holiday from my big girl job so thought I would take some creative time to finish this and hopefully finish editing the OG Zero To Six. It warms my heart so much to see people still reading ZTS daily on here and on Wattpad (where it's got 68k reads, 1k votes and 276 comments) so to bring you a new little piece of the puzzle makes me extremely excited. Love you all, and thanks again for showing Zero and Four so much love <3

I thought I would tag the old supporters from the last chapter of ZTS so if you're tagged and you aren't bothered about this anymore I'm deeply sorry for bugging you! And please let me know if you would like to be I tagged. I hope you have a wonderful day/evening/night <3

Warnings: Swearing, Violence.

tags: @i-am-sarah​​​ , @whothefuckstolemykeds​​​ , @drowsyrrog​​​ , @culturefiendtrashqueen​​​ , @rogue-barnes-16–main-account​​​–main-account , @alliwantfromyouistomakelovetome, @valerie-weasley​​​ , @sueeatstheworld​​​ , @bleona2808​​​ , @pippin248​​​ , @myfatbottomedgirls​​​ , @httpfandxms​​​ , @cooliosmosh​​​ , @speckles-s​​​ , @walking-disgrace​​​ , @itsmeaudrieee​​​ , @fight-the-freaking-fairies​​​ , @irrelevant-pumpkin​​​ , @captain-sparkles-who​​​ , @podcasts-8-my-heart​​ , @foulvintagenature​​​ , @imjustboredso​​​ , @loophoria​​​ @tealaquinn @raylan-c

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The only thing she could feel was how her lungs burned as she ran and still then it wasn’t fast enough, but nothing could stop her as she could hear the angry shouts in the distance getting louder and louder and yet there was no way back. Skidding into a alley way she looked for somewhere to hide herself until she was sure the man had passed, ducking behind a dustbin just in time. Peaking around, she could see him stop in front of the alley it was almost like he could sense that she was there.

Eventually he seemed to moved on to which she let out an audible sigh now that she knew she was finally alone and out of danger.  Just to be safe she waited for another good five minutes just to make sure that he had actually moved on. Calmly she started to hoist herself up from behind the bin and started to make her way towards the entrance of the busy street. Just as she was about to turn the corner, he suddenly popped out from seemingly nowhere and stood firmly in front of her. 

“Shit.” She started to take steps backwards, hoping that she wouldn’t bump into anything as she kept her eyes firm on the man in front of her. But he only followed, mocking each step she cautiously took.

“Hey sweetie, you can’t hide from me, I will always find you. I promise that.” He tried reach for her but she dodged out of his way just in time, throwing a punch to his stomach and sending him to the floor. 

She started to run again, only to trip when he reach out a hand and grabbed onto her ankle which in turn slammed her to the floor. 

She jolted awake and found herself bolting upright in bed, chest socked with sweat as she breathed heavily.

Looking to her bedside table where the alarm clock blared at her she saw that it was only 3am, sighing she rubbed her face with the palm of her sweaty hand. Another nightmare. She had, had them a lot recently ever since her parents had passed away, but for some reason they seemed to be getting stronger as time went on this one being the worst. She was meant to be at the cafe at 7am for her shift and to meet with Tim so she honestly didn’t see any point in going back to sleep. It would probably just be filled of more nightmares.

Things had been rough recently. Scout had been in need of money and being a hacker came with specific skills that specific but sometimes scary people where in need of. But most of the time it was the people who were being hacked that she had to worry about and her past few jobs had been very suspicious, but money is money and she need it to survive. That and she trusted Tim to keep her safe.

Luckily she hadn’t run into any trouble as yet, but the dreams she kept haven’t felt like someone was trying to tell her that she was playing with fire and she was eventually going to get burnt.

Scouts life had always been complicated and strange, enough that she was used to anything people could throw at her. In two days time her and Tim would go about their biggest job, with the biggest pay off they had ever got. Of which most of the money she wanted to save but there were a few debts she needed to pay and then that would be the end of them and she would be free.

She was sceptical of the job at first when Tim had talked her through it but then he mentioned how much the guy would pay she thought to herself why not, they had probably been through worse. But how wrong she was going to be. But one bad thing can lead into something amazing that will change your life forever.

"You look tired."

"Gee Tim, thanks for pointing out the obvious!" Scout put down Tim's fourth coffee of the day, he'd been in since 7am which was when she had started and was working on notes for the job. "Says you on your fourth coffee."

He just smiled up at her. "Yeah well these notes aren't going to write themselves."

She looked over at her boss who looked like he was deep in conversation with a difficult customer one that had short dark blonde hair that was sort of slicked back and even from where she was standing she could tell his eyes were a deep ocean blue, she’d been stealing glances at him ever since he came in.

She decided to take a seat across from Tim and try without annoying him too much to get some details about their mission that he’s been keeping very secret about for months now. "How far have you got? We nearly there?"

"Nearly! but We'll talk about it tonight. Cant talk about it here, too many people you never know who might be listening." He peered over the top of the laptop giving her a scowl. "Go on bugger off and do your job I need peace and quiet if this is to go smoothly!"

"Geez okay crabby! I'm going, I should take that coffee off you." He didn't respond, nor even look up at her again so she walked away shaking her head in disbelief. She headed back to the counter where her boss now stood alone at the cash register, she was surprised and saddened that the mystery handsome man had seemingly left before she could get one last good look.

She didn’t know it then but the next following weeks would bring her much trauma and pain but this evil was necessary for her to die and be reborn again into a new family that would actually care and love for her the way she’d always wanted to be loved.

That and she’d gain the most important person she’d ever met, or had they already met? And they didn’t even know it.

[amarriageoftrueminds]

Saw your tags saying Hannibal fanfiction is the best, I'm new to the fandom, do you have any recs? Love your blog btw!

Thank you Nonny and OOP you're in luck!

I just came across a cracking thread on Twitter t'other day where a bunch of us fannibals were recommending the fandom 'must reads!'

So here the list is so far:

Consenting to Dream (emungere) THE fic.

A Remedy for Love (emungere)

Blackbird (emungere)

Separately to a Wood (emungere)

Taken For Rubies (emungere)

Two Solitudes (emungere) S4

Faded Fantasy (phenobarbital)

Hyacinth House (bluesyturtle)

He Who Pours Out Vengeance (underground) S2 before S2

A Great and Gruesome Height (mokuyoubi) S4

The First Condition of Immortality is Death (onehandedbooks) S4

As Soft, as Wide as Air (blackknightsatellite) S4

The Shape of Me Will Always Be You (missdisoriental)

Shark Tank (xzombiexkittenx)

Bloodline (xzombiexkittenx)

Pi's Lullaby (t_pock)

Wolf And I (t_pock)

We Killed a Dragon Last Night (inameitlater) S4

A Cliff and the Wine Dark Sea (saintsavage) S4

One Way Out Of Many (hellotailor, nakamasmile)

Bright Hair About The Bone (missdisoriental)

Chimera of the Chapel (bleakmidwinter) S4

Eve of Dreams (Le Réveillon des Rêves) (inter_spem_et_metum) S4

Heart and Mouth (disenchanted)

Symbasis (tei)

Lagbrotna (cognomen)

Vorspiel (kareliasweet) S4

Omega Point (cognomen & whiskeyandspite)

Haarlem (spqr)

Heal Your Wolf(hound) Well (devotitonal_doldrums)

Falls the Shadow (littlesystem) my personal most-read fic!

The Fault in My Code (liaS0)

The Unquiet Grave (liaS0)

Flesh and Bone (pragmatichominid)

The Fisherman and the Beast From the Sea (pragmatichominid)

Attachment (pragmatichominid)

The Hole Is Still There (croik)

The Long Weekend (devereauxs_disease)

Each According to Its Kind (chaparral_crown)

Their Beaks Not Yet Turned Red (chaparral_crown)

The Lamb and His Monster (pterodactyl352)

Oddbodies (toffeecape)

This Dangerous Game (missdisoriental)

Page Six (thisbeautifuldrowning)

Bram Stoker's HANNIBAL (dbmars)

Falling Away with You (shotgun_sinner)

Two Slow Dancers, Last One’s Out (antiheroblake) MCD

Nowhere to Ascend but Down (yourminecraftboyfriend)

Overcoming (purefoysgirl)

Paragon (bloodywa2411)

Silence in Heaven (theglintoftherail)

The Mark of His Name (theglintoftherail)

The Mongoose and the Mouse (hiding now)

Between Here and There (deadratz)

Omiai (iesika)

Remember (that you are) to die (13empress) unfinished sadly

What the Water Gave Me (iesika) discontinued but so vivid it's worth reading anyway

And I would recommend looking at this twitter feed, which does nothing but recommend hannigram fics.

Bon appetit. 😈

[bloodblanks]

the cadence within [il dottore x reader] — prologue.

The quickest way to a man’s heart is through their fourth and fifth ribs.  But few men would allow you to just skewer them like that, and Dottore was no exception. So you took the classic route. No, it wasn’t through his stomach; it was through sheer force of charisma alone.  However, charisma is shaped like a double edged blade. Pantalone sent you to Dottore’s lab like a flying dagger, and not until it was too late did either of you realize you’d been lodged in his chest. 

co-written with noodsies, however, they’re shy and wish to stay anonymous! ♡

author's note: this fanfiction will contain mature content, including explicit sexual acts, violence, dottore himself, and similar themes.

please read at your own discretion.

“Check,” you whispered.

Queen to C6 check, in response to white’s bishop checking on F3. Your D7 pawn guarded your queen, but your bishop was stuck in B8 while his king was vulnerable on A6. His only other piece was a knight on A4.

Did he blunder?

After placing down the chess piece, you glanced back towards him, your eyes searching his face for any readable signs or expressions. There were none, save for the hint of amusement that remained eternally etched into both his features and demeanour.

You mentally sighed. Dottore was as indecipherable as ever, leaving you confused about what to do with the nagging itch that tugged at your heart. You tried to push it aside, to dig a hole and bury the feeling six feet underground where it was never to resurface again, but you found yourself unable to. Instead, you found yourself caving into that emotion, the tension thickening the very air that now felt suffocating to breathe in, each of Dottore’s answers only leaving you with more questions to ask—none of which you should’ve paid any mind to, yet you still couldn't resist, barely holding yourself back from asking the one thing you really wanted to know.

You coughed softly, clearing your throat before speaking again.

“My turn,” you tried to steady your voice and sound as confident as possible, pushing past the dryness in your mouth. “Question nineteen, are you going to continue with your plan?”

It shouldn’t even matter. If you were being rational, you wouldn’t have bothered to ask that; whether or not he planned to continue should not affect your judgement in any way. He had done enough wrong as it is, committed far more crimes than could be excused or remotely justified.

Still, you couldn’t help but succumb to your own weakness, the question leaving your lips alongside a silent prayer that you hadn’t exposed your intentions—be it the one to put an end to him, or the far worse one, the one to give up on your original task. The task you should adhere to, despite your traitorous feelings wanting to get in the way. But you were not strong enough.

Dottore’s silence permitted you to keep ruminating over the same thoughts that had ceaselessly plagued you each time you faced him, the same thoughts that had insidiously grown in intensity throughout your interactions, leaving you to realize far too late that at some point, your actions towards him became genuine.

“Perhaps,” Dottore responded at last. You fought to keep your face neutral, trying your best to mask your disappointment at his answer. As much as you had wanted to, you were unable to deny that you had indeed wanted him to say ‘no.’

As shameful as it was, you pushed for a different answer.

“You’re supposed to answer yes or no,” you stated, keeping your tone light and indifferent.

How ludicrous, you thought. Your job was to pretend to be interested in him, yet here you were, desperately trying to act like you weren’t.

“Unfortunately, Y/N, I can’t do that,” Dottore replied. “The answer is dependent on certain variables.”

“Like what?”

“That’s not a yes or no question.” His face did not betray anything, yet you could hear the smirk in his voice, evident in the satisfaction he spoke with.

“But—”

“—My turn,” Dottore interrupted, and though you wanted to protest, you had to maintain an air of calmness, leaning back in your seat as you waited for him to speak.

“Question nineteen,” Dottore drew out each syllable with emphasis, “you are planning to kill me, aren’t you?”

His sentence caused you to freeze, a chill running down each ridge of your spine as you shivered, goosebumps breaking out over the surface of your skin, your hair standing on end as you stared at him, motionless, eyes wide.

That wasn’t a yes or no question. He knew. Dottore knew.

You didn’t need to see yourself to know that blood had drained from your face. There was no need for you to say anything; even if he hadn’t already known, your expression alone would be enough to confirm that everything he just said was true.

“Go on. Why don’t you answer me?” His voice was sharp enough to cut through the pounding of your heart, the pulsating of the organ reverberating in your eardrums being the only sound to muffle the deafening silence of the room.

“Oh, come on, Y/N,” Dottore continued. Though the syllables reached you, your mind struggled to process the meaning behind them. “Did you think I wouldn’t know?”

Dottore scoffed, indignant.

“I find it rather insulting that you think so lowly of me.”

“N-no,” you scrambled to find the right words. “I don’t—”

“—Is that so?” he said, cutting you off while clicking his tongue in mock disapproval. “Do you have a more plausible explanation for that gun strapped to your thigh, then?”

Your heart sank, his words the anchor that plunged it into the bottomless pit in your stomach. It felt like the life was drained from your body, rendering it an immobile marionette whose strings dangled from the tips of Dottore’s slender fingers. As if his words were coated in a paralyzing agent, you couldn’t bring yourself to speak further or move an inch. The only reminder that you were still alive was the harrowing thump of your pulse, each beat accelerating faster than the last.

How did he know?

For a split second you wondered if you’d been betrayed, but that was impossible. You had premeditated the perfect plan, meticulously memorized every step, and followed through with flawless execution.

With clandestine sleight, you acquired the perfect trump card—a gun loaded with bullets meant to destroy both visions and delusions. It was exactly what you needed to put an end to him, to put an end to this madness and absurdity. You’d be done with this once and for all. You’d have your old life back; exactly as it was before.

So how?

And what was more pressing than how, was the question of just what Dottore was planning to do with this knowledge. The urgency that question posed was unmatched by anything else, the answer pertaining to whether you would live or die.

You couldn’t help but wince, unable to conceal your expressions any longer. Dottore had seen through it all, seen through all your plans. You were dead, and you could only hope that your death would not be as unpleasant as some of the others by his hand. You knew what he was capable of, and you knew he was capable of far worse.

“I didn’t think so.” Dottore’s words were firm. Unwavering. And in those very seconds you were forced to accept the reality that you were going to die. This was the end.

“Go ahead,” Dottore said, slowly holding out his hands with both palms facing you. “Shoot me.”

What?

“I won’t stop you,” he finished his sentence. You were still gaping at him, but he was gazing back straight into your eyes, unflinching.

“Is this a joke?” you breathed, unable to comprehend what was just said to you.

“Is that your final question?” Dottore returned, his words somehow snapping you out of your daze and paralysis for a split second. You instinctively reacted by reaching to your thigh, pulling out the gun that you had prepared for this very moment and aiming it directly at him.

You tried to still the tremble of your hands as your index finger hooked onto the trigger, tensing it frozen so it wouldn’t pull.

A moment went by.

“Is that all?” Maybe you were imagining things. You had to be, but you couldn’t help but feel his eyes scan your face, searching for something.

Just what was he looking for? Could it be the same thing you sought?

“Allow me my final question, then.”

You couldn’t help but anticipate, that minuscule flame of hope, that lingering spark that refused to be snuffed out, flaring back to life.

“Sure.” Your voice was low, but you knew that he had heard you, nonetheless.

“Question...” Each second felt like it had been split up into millions, leaving you to experience time a microsecond at once. You were breathing heavily, your blood pulsating in your ears and adrenaline rushing through your veins. “...Twenty.”

“There is something stopping you, isn’t there?” 

next chapter -> any interactions are appreciated (´･ω･`) thank you very much for supporting my work! ♡

[thebiggerbear]

Tom Hanniger x Reader - Prompt Response - "I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that."

Summary: You went to visit Tom in the mines for a little Valentine's Day fun. Who knew that one decision would lead to everything that's happened? Will you be able to help Tom or will he be lost to you forever?

Pairing: Tom Hanniger x Female!Reader; Tom Hanniger x Sarah Mercer; implied past Deputy Martin x Female!Reader

A/N: Prompt from @creativepromptsforwriting (#941). This was so much fun to write. I just love this character and there is so much to explore with him. I also really love the dynamic between him and the reader in this one. Hope it came out alright.

I decided to give Deputy Martin a name. He deserves one. Also, I loved Tom and Sarah at the beginning of the movie. I had actually been hoping Sarah would leave Axel and be with Tom again until it was revealed that he was the one doing the killings. That grocery store scene when they see each other again for the first time after a decade...it broke my heart in the best way. Jensen and Jaime did a great job (Kerr too though I hated his character the entire time lol). So I kind of feel a little guilty here but I had to throw in the Sarah factor; not trying to crap on their relationship, I promise.

I tried my best do my research and be respectful in regards to DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) but also keep this a few years post-movie (2009) while also staying within the context the movie provided but also explore a bit, if that makes sense. Please note I do not work in the psychiatry, psychology, or medical fields. If I got anything appallingly incorrect about this disorder, its symptoms, its treaments, anything, please let me know. Also, I think it goes without saying (but I’ll say it anyway), not every single person who has been diagnosed with DID is violent or a threat to others nor are their alters violent or a threat to others. Obviously, this is just a work of fanfiction based on a fictional story where the main character had an alter that was violent and a threat to everyone. No harm or disrespect is intended with this fanfiction at all.

There is a note at the end.

This takes place pre-movie, all throughout it, and post-movie.

Unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine.

Warnings: violence; description of injuries; blood; sex (smut-light); angst; mentions of murder; semi-hostage situation; threats of harm/murder; psychiatric hospital treatment (I'm not sure if that's an actual warning or if it should be but I'm putting it in case)

Sidenote: I'm sure we all know this but I'm putting here in case anyway: if you ever go into any mines or similar underground structure, please always wear your hardhat and do what your guides/experts tell you/follow the rules to stay safe.

Word Count: 11k+

Tom Taglist: @heartlessdelusions; @nancymcl

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that."

Soldier Boy version | Beau version | Dean version | Jenny version | Jason version | CJ version | Rachel version | Anael version | SDV Leah version | Alec version

<-->

You pulled up outside of Tunnel 5 in your car, your friends laughing and cheering as you parked. You weren’t as excited to be here but they managed to talk you into it. 

A Valentine’s Day party was happening in Tunnel 5 and most people your age were going to be there. Why they had decided on a tunnel in the Hanniger mines as the primo party spot you had no idea. If there was one thing you had learned in your life so far, people were weird and most college-aged kids would party wherever, whenever. Especially in a small town like this one.

You got out of the car, heading towards the trunk, ignoring the dibs your friend Destiny was calling on every hot single guy to your other two friends, Carina and Taylor. You handed six packs of beer out to each of them before grabbing the last one and shutting the trunk lid.

“You okay, Y/N?”

You glanced up to find Carina watching you while Destiny and Taylor were waiting impatiently to get to the party. You forced a smile. “Yeah, I’m okay, Rina. Promise.” She knew how hard this might be for you and you appreciated her checking in with you. She returned your smile and turned to follow your two other friends, with you close behind her. 

You passed a few cars until a familiar tall figure entered your vision, sans his usual ball cap. You watched as Tom Hanniger opened the back door of his truck, searching for something. You moved a little closer to Carina and discreetly handed her your six-pack. “I’ll catch up,” you whispered.

She glanced over to where you were staring and gave you a look. “Y/N…”

“I’ll be fine, Rina. You go ahead. I’ll catch up with you guys in a few.”

She seemed uncertain but nodded, doing as you asked. You watched her hurry to catch up to Destiny and Taylor, and then you turned your attention back on Tom. You waited for two people to pass by before you made your way over to him.

He had a six-pack in his hand but he was standing stock still, almost as if he was lost in thought. You then watched as he put the beer back down, holding a hand to the side of his car, and you could tell he was taking a deep breath. Your heart broke for him a little. This couldn’t be easy for him, being here, and being back here especially. You wondered what had prompted him to come here and then you realized, your heart breaking a little further: Sarah.

You pressed your lips together and decided to get this over with. “Hey, Tom,” you called softly.

He spun around, surprised to see you. “Y/N…hey.”

You took him in and you hoped your pain wasn’t showing through. He looked good for the most part, still handsome, still tall and statuesque, his figure being cut from playing football. The only difference you could make out was the nerves that were plain as day though he tried to hide them from you. “How are you?”

He shrugged. “I’m doing alright, I guess. How about you? I hear congratulations are in order. You got into med school. I always knew you would.”

“Thanks,” you whispered. You had worked hard in school, filled up your interim semesters with classes to help you get closer to graduation, studied like hell for the MCAT, and got into the med school of your choice — well, one of them — just like you’d been hoping for the longest time. “Are you here alone?”

“No, uh, I’m here with…” He gestured back towards the tunnel.

“Sarah,” you supplied.

“Yeah.” You could see some of his discomfort showing through. “Sarah.”

You attempted a smile. “That’s good.”

He nodded but didn’t say anything, just kept his eyes trained on the hat in his hand.

You wished things weren’t so awkward now between you. They never used to be.

“I’m sorry,” he breathed, his eyes lifting to yours. “For how things turned out. I never meant— I never meant for any of this to happen.” You could see the regret in them, an echo of some of your own regret.

“I know,” you whispered, your eyes burning at the corners. “I’m sorry, too.”

And you really were. Perhaps if you had been a better girlfriend a year ago — a better person even — you both wouldn’t be here now, feeling as if the blood on your hands would never wash away.

It was Valentine’s Day and you knew Tom was working in the mines all day. He still promised to take you out afterwards, once he’d gotten a chance to shower and clean up. You were looking forward to it.

You had no idea when the thought popped into your head but once it did, it took root and stayed there. Until you found yourself visiting him at the mines. Of course, you’d gotten a lot of dirty and suspicious looks as you dressed in a miner’s uniform and plopped a hard hat on your head (it was the rules). Some guy you forgot the name of the second you’d been introduced to took you down in a cart. While you weren’t crazy about going further underground, you told yourself that once you were with Tom, you would be safe. And it would all be worth it once he saw the present you had for him. 

You got to your stop, the guy called for Tom to come down and mentioned he had a visitor, and not too long after, Tom appeared. You grinned at him when you saw the look of surprise on your boyfriend’s face. 

“What the— What the hell are you doing here, sweetheart?”

“Surprise!” You hugged him as fiercely as you could with his equipment on him. 

He shook his head, smiling as he took in your outfit. “You came all the way down here just to surprise me?”

“Of course I did.”

“But sweetheart, it’s not safe.”

“Don’t tell me that, Tom. I worry about you enough being down here as it is. And don’t worry, I won’t be long.” You smirked up at him and he immediately got your meaning. 

He uncomfortably cleared his throat. “I can take it from here, Fred. I’ll call a cart down when she’s ready to go back up or you if you’re still around. Thanks.”

Fred shook his head, most likely knowing what you two were up to. “I’ll be over in 3 if you need me,” he gruffed out. You both watched as the cart disappeared down the shaft.

“Sweetheart, you really shouldn’t have come down. It’s not safe,” Tom told you but you could feel his hand resting on the seat of your uniform. 

“I have a surprise for you.”

“A surprise?” He smiled. “What kind of surprise?” 

“You’ll see,” you teased. “Is there somewhere we can go?”

He glanced around quickly before taking your hand. “Yeah, there’s a place. Come on.” He led you back up the shaft a little ways and into a pocket, hidden from view. He whisked off his hard hat and yours before eagerly pulling you to him, making you giggle into his mouth. 

“I’ve never had a girl visit me at the mines before,” he murmured, kissing your jaw. 

“And you better never have any girl other than me coming to see you.” You playfully poked his chest in warning.

“No other girl for me,” he whispered to your lips before kissing you again. “You’re it. Always.”

“Awww.” You began to unzip your uniform, wanting to give him his present already. Something sweet like that deserved a reward. 

He pulled back to help you and once the top half was off, his brows drew together in mock confusion. “My surprise is your jogging sweats? I really appreciate the thought, sweetheart, but you could’ve given that to me later tonight and not risked coming down here.”

You swatted at his shoulder, making him snicker, as you slowly unzipped your top half. His eyes followed the trail of the zipper and they widened when you opened the shirt and pushed it back to your shoulders. You smirked, seeing his reaction. He wasn’t laughing or making fun now.

Underneath your sweats, you wore new lingerie you had bought just for this moment. It was a red and white lacy bra that had hearts all over it, ending in a cut-out heart design over your breasts, with a little bow holding it altogether. “You like?”

“I like.” He trailed a finger along the edge of the cut-out heart. “I like it a lot.” He twirled the ribbon over his finger, smirking over at you. “Do I get to unwrap you?” He teased.

You shrugged. “It is your present. Don’t forget about the bottom half, too.” You pushed down your uniform and sweats to reveal similar looking underwear. “But the tie’s at the back.” You leaned forward slightly so he could see. He grinned as he ran a hand over the cut-out heart shape back there, tugging at the ribbon playfully. “So you like your surprise?”

“I love my surprise.” He kissed you as he untied the underwear and let them fall forward into his waiting hand. He stuck them into the pocket of his mining uniform and you felt him begin to touch you in the way he knew you liked. He groaned into your mouth when he felt you. “You’re all ready for me.”

“Of course,” you hummed. “I never half-ass a present.”

He brought his hand down on your bare ass cheek in a slap, making you squeal, and squeezed it. “No, you do not.” He stuck his tongue back into your mouth and you worked to get his uniform unzipped and off of him. He had untied your bra and he broke away from you to take one of your nipples into his mouth. You gasped and arched your head back, your fingers gripping the back of his hair to hold him to you. You let out a moan while he nibbled away at you. He had you on the edge already and he’d barely touched you.

You pulled him back up to you, kissing him deeply, as you started working on his belt. You had just worked his jeans down enough so you could pull him out to stroke him when his hand stopped you. “Sweetheart, wait, wait.”

You pouted. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t have a condom.”

You smirked. “Is that all?”

“Is that all? Uh, yeah, and that’s a problem. My wallet’s in my locker up top. I know we usually just…you know, if we don’t have them, but uh, I’m not going to lie, I really want to enjoy my present right now,” he ended with a nervous laugh. “Every inch of it.” He slapped your ass cheek again and leaned forward, nipping at your breast before kissing the sting away.

“Well, then it’s your lucky day that I’m the world's most amazing girlfriend, Tom Hanniger.” You reached into the pocket of your jacket and pulled out two condoms, holding them up in front of his face. 

He glanced up at you in awe. “You really are.” He snatched the condoms from you, putting one into his pocket and opening the other. You leaned in and kissed the spot underneath his ear while he got ready for you. “I told you,” you murmured. “I never half-ass a present. Happy Valentine’s Day, baby.”

He turned to look at you, holding you steady as he made sure your uniform was covering your back. He began to slip into you and you both groaned by the time he bottomed out, he was a few inches above your lips, smiling. “Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart.” He then kissed you and began to give you what you both wanted.

It was quick, hurried, frenzied even. As much as you loved each other, this wasn’t the time or place to take your time. You both could be caught at any moment, it was dangerous like Tom said… You could take your time with each other later. 

Tom had to cover your mouth when you came and you’d had to cover his when he crossed the finish line. You’d felt every grunt sound he made against your palm and it only turned you on more. You almost wished you had forgotten the condoms but you knew Tom wouldn’t be deep inside you right now if you had. Tom was adamant about protection, just like you were, but you loved him and trusted him. Plus, you had been on the pill for years but you knew Eli Hanniger had drilled it into his son’s head to always cover it up unless he wanted some girl to put him in a position someday where he’d be trapped into a marriage and forced to share half his money. You tried not to take it too personally when Eli had looked over at you after that little nugget of his own brand of wisdom on one of the many nights Tom had to pick his drunken dad up from the local bar. 

Eli couldn’t have been more wrong. You loved Tom but you also had your own goals in life that you didn’t want deterred by parenthood earlier than expected. Not to mention, Tom could be the poorest guy in town and you would still love him and want to be with him. You’d loved Tom since you were five, ever since he’d seen you crying because all of the markers were gone in kindergarten class and everyone was making a picture but you. He came over to give you the red one he’d been using with a cute smile that was meant to reassure you. You’d smiled back at him, sniffling, your face wet, as you both worked together to make a picture. You’d been close ever since. 

Once you were in high school, things changed between you. You’d had to watch as he dated girl after girl until finally junior year came. You changed up your look a little, didn’t have your nose stuck in a book every other minute, and the guys began to slowly take notice of you. Tom had been jealous when you told him you were going on a date with one of his teammates. You two had been arguing in his car when he leaned over and kissed you out of the blue. Needless to say, you had canceled that date and Tom stopped hooking up with one of the cheerleaders he’d been casually seeing at the time.

You both were happy. You both attended the same university and you spent the holidays together with your families. Well, you and Tom spent the holidays with your family; Eli wanted no part of it. It was almost as if because you weren’t a mining family or a well-off family, you weren’t good enough for him to bother gracing you with his presence at your dinner table. Just like you weren’t good enough to be dating his son, unlike Sarah Mercer whose parents owned the grocery store in town. That was who Eli kept pushing Tom towards but Tom told his dad he didn’t have eyes for anyone but you. He loved you and someday, he wanted to marry you. Your heart warmed when you overheard him say that. Which immediately hardened when you heard his dad then say “You’re a fool. That girl just wants your money! Sarah’s an actually decent hard-working girl. You’d be better off with her than that other one.” Tom didn’t say anything else and you had gone back to the book you were reading, pretending to be caught up in it, when he came out, hurrying to take your hand and get out of there. You never let on that you’d heard what he said…and what he didn’t say. 

And you may have taken the initiative to show him how much you loved him and wanted to keep you with him. Which is why you had risked coming down here to have semi-public sex in a dangerous mine, wearing a lingerie set you would usually never be caught dead in. You had already planned to go all out that evening once you made it to the hotel room you’d reserved in town, but you also wanted to give him something to remember, something he’d never ever forget. Now, you would always be in his mind, having made your mark, no matter what might happen with your relationship. You just hoped you made a mark on his heart, too, at some point while you’d been together, and that he didn’t let his dad’s obvious prejudice against you and your family sway him away from you.

Tom’s head dropped to your shoulder as he attempted to come down from his high, trying to catch his breath. You kissed the side of his head, not caring about the damp sweat or coal mine smell coming off of him. You leaned your head up next to his ear. “I love you, Tom. I’ll love you forever,” you whispered. You knew he heard you when he squeezed you, still panting harshly against your skin.

“Always,” he whispered back to you.

You hugged him tightly then.

A little while later, you were both redressed, hardhats back on your heads as you waited for Fred to arrive with the cart to take you back up top. Tom had called Tunnel 3 to ask him to come back for you. He had his arms around you from behind and he was smiling down at you. “Thank you for my present,” he murmured. Unable to really kiss you or nuzzle you thanks to the hardhats, he pressed a kiss to your shoulder and tightened his arms around you. 

“I’ve got another one for later.”

He turned to look at you quizzically which then turned into a glimmer of hope.

You couldn’t help but laugh. “I bought another set. Deep red and more ribbons.” You wiggled an eyebrow playfully at him.

“I fucking love you.” His smile was bright as he carefully leaned in to kiss your neck, making you giggle. 

“Hey, lovebirds!” You both looked up to see Fred turning the corner a little further down the shaft, having a clear view of the two of you. “Break it up! I haven’t had my lunch yet and I don’t want it spoiled!”

Tom rolled his eyes but let you go. “Ha ha, Fred. Very funny.” 

Fred came to a stop in front of you, scowling at both of you. “Time to go.”

You hugged Tom quickly and then climbed into the cart. He had his hands out around you, ready to assist you if need be. Once you were settled inside, Tom hurriedly took his hat off and leaned in to kiss you. 

“Hey, hey! Put your hat back on, Tom! Don’t be even more of an idiot! This whole thing could come down at any time, you know.”

Tom kept peppering your lips with kisses, making you laugh and him smile, before he finally heeded Fred’s warning. He straightened up and slipped his hardhat back on, grabbing your hand and kissing it. “Take care of my girl, Fred. Get her back safe.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Fred muttered and started up the cart. 

Tom walked beside you, still holding your hand. “I can’t wait for later.”

You smirked. “I know you can’t.”

His cheeks darkened a little and he gave you a sheepish smile, letting out a laugh. “That, too, but I was talking about our date. I think you’re really going to love the place I picked out for us.”

Your smirk melted into a genuine smile. “I know I will because I love anything that comes from you.” You heard Fred snort next to you but you couldn’t care less. So what if you were being cheesy? It was Valentine’s Day and you meant what you said.

Tom’s smile grew and you could see it reaching his eyes. “I love you.” You both noticed you were about to make a turn that he couldn’t follow you down. He kissed your hand one more time and let you go. “See you tonight.”

“See you then. I love you, too,” you called back to him. You watched as he got further and further away, the last thing you saw being him holding his hand up in a wave as he smiled. You waved back before the cart completed the turn and he completely disappeared from your view. 

The date didn’t end up happening due to the collapse that happened later. Word of it spread fast once it happened and even though you knew Tom should be home by then, you still worried. Thankfully, he returned your call ten minutes later and told you what happened. You rushed right over to be with him, all plans for the night forgotten, though Eli was less than pleased. Apparently, word of your visit had spread around the mines well before you had made it to the top. 

“That girl is a problem!” Eli yelled. “She’s reckless! And now she’s made you reckless!”

Tom let go of your hand and jumped to his feet. “Don’t talk about her like that!”

You got up and hugged Tom’s arm, rubbing his shoulder soothingly. “Shhh,” you murmured. “Don’t. It’s not worth it. Okay?”

Eli didn’t like seeing that. His face got red and he was louder than before. “It’s like I’ve been telling you! That girl is only after one thing and that’s your money! When are you going to wake up, start using the other brain God gave you, and see it for yourself?” He threw his glass of Scotch at the wall, making you wince at the shattering sound, and left in a huff.

Tom went to follow him, to yell back at him, but you kept him there. “Don’t worry about it. It’s fine. He’s upset. Here, sit with me.” Tom did as you urged and you rested your chin on his shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He glanced over at you, his eyes glassy. “I think I really fucked up, Y/N.”

“What do you mean?”

“After you left, I went back to work. I was in the cage, adjusting my gear, when the condom and your underwear fell out. I forgot I had them. I picked them up as fast as I could and stuffed them back in but Harry Warden saw.” He shook his head. “He gave me a hard time about doing my job and I told him I had it, I knew what I was doing. They now think he’s one of the miners trapped. He’s unaccounted for.” He compulsively swallowed and turned to look at you, a tear rolling down his cheek. “I forgot to bleed the lines,” he whispered.

Your eyes couldn’t get any wider if they tried. You reached out to wipe his tear away as you tried to rein in your reaction. 

“I was thinking about our date tonight, about you, and I got distracted. I forgot to do the one thing I’m supposed to do every day before I leave. This collapse happened because of me,” he choked out before breaking down. You pulled him into you, holding him and shushing him, whispering reassurances to him. All while the heavy truth settled down around you and began to constrict your chest. It wasn’t Tom’s fault; it was yours.

It didn’t surprise you one bit a few weeks later when Tom broke up with you. He explained it as there was a lot happening, he was being blamed for the murders of the other miners that Harry committed, and his dad told him he just needed to continue working and keep his head down. No distractions. Which meant no more you, though Tom never actually said it but you knew that’s what he was implying Eli had told him.

It broke your heart when he broke it off between you but you understood. Tom had basically become a pariah overnight. Once he admitted to the investigators that he forgot to bleed the lines, the town he’d lived in his whole life turned against him. Harry may have done the actual killing, but it was Tom who’d put Harry in that position in the first place, or so they’d said. Some folks even gave you dirty looks in town as well but it was nothing compared to how Tom was treated. While you loved him and wanted to stay together, you could understand if he needed some space. You let him go with a hug, telling him you were still around if he needed a friendly ear, trying your best not to let any tears fall so you wouldn’t make him feel worse. His jaw had clenched but he nodded, choked out a “Thanks”, and walked to his car. You watched as he left, remembering back to the image of him getting further and further away from the mine cart you were in. Once he disappeared down the street, you finally let out the tears you’d been holding onto. A sob tore its way out of your throat when you remembered he had held up his hand in a wave, smiling, while you smiled and waved back. Because all you could think about was what you thought in that moment: Let this be the last time we separate like this. 

And as luck and Eli Hanniger would have it, in the next month or so, rumors spread that Tom Hanniger was now dating Sarah Mercer. You didn’t want to believe them, to believe that he’d finally pushed you aside for one of the girls you’d both grown up with who always had a gooey-eyed expression for Tom, the girl his father had wanted him to date in the first place. You didn’t want to believe that he would be so quick to throw away what the two of you had just to make his father happy. But deep down, you knew it was true. Tom had always wanted to get his father’s approval and he always had a soft spot for Sarah so why wouldn’t it be true? You could even understand a little, considering what had happened and Tom was in the hot seat with every resident of Harmony, thanks to you. But it still hurt like hell. You still loved him enough, though, to hope that he was happy. 

You pushed those thoughts out of your head. No use in continuing to blame yourself now. It didn’t change anything. “Are you okay…being here?”

He seemed a little caught off guard at the change of subject but then he glanced back at the tunnel entrance. “Yeah.” He turned back to you. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

You nodded and dropped your gaze to the ground, not sure what else to say. 

“Did you bring your hardhat this time?”

Your head snapped up and he was giving you half a smile, his eyes having that familiar teasing gleam in them. You couldn’t help but smile back, appreciating the attempt at levity and familiarity. “Did you?”

He snickered and shook his head, biting at his lip.

You chuckled and took a step closer. “How are you really, Tom?”

His smile faded. “Better.” He then briefly dropped his eyes. “Sarah. She helps.”

Your smile dropped altogether and you could feel that stinging sensation in your eyes again. “Oh.” You bit the inside of your cheek to keep tears from welling up. You didn’t even know what to say to that. “I’m glad, I guess.”

His expression fell and he took a step closer. “I didn’t mean—”

You took a step backwards, your hand up. “It’s okay. Really. I’m happy that she’s able to do that for you.” You took a breath. “I should go. Rina and the girls are waiting on me, so… Good to see you, Tom. I’m glad you’re doing well.” You gave him a wan smile and turned to leave.

“Y/N, wait. Y/N.”

You continued walking, eager to put some distance between you two until you could rein in your emotions. While Tom and Sarah might go off in their own section of the mine, you also might have to see them together. And you needed to prepare for that, especially with your last memories of the time you were here and all that occurred after. 

You were halfway to the entrance when you heard a scream. You stopped short, wondering if it had just been someone fooling around and having fun though it sounded terrified. You heard it again and before you knew it, people were running out of the tunnel at a fast speed, hurrying to their cars. “Oh no,” you gasped when you realized something was wrong, thinking another collapse must have happened. “Rina.” 

You were just about to run towards the tunnel when a strong hand gripped your arm, whipping you around to face Tom. “I don’t know what this is,” he said. “But get out of here. Go back to your car and get the hell away. As fast as you can.”

“What? No! I can’t leave! Rina, Taylor, and Destiny are in there! We came together!”

He framed your face with his hands. “Y/N, listen to me. You need to go. It could be another collapse.” He released you and urged you to go.

“No! I told you, I—”

Just then there were more screams as more people ran out. Tom turned back to you. “I have to go get Sarah. Run back to your car, Y/N! Do the same as these people! I’ll catch up with you later!”

Your eyes widened. “What? No, Tom! If you’re telling me not to go in, you’re not going, either!”

He went to answer you when a guy running past you yelled, “There’s some crazy guy in there killing everybody! Run!”

You and Tom glanced at one another, both shocked. Neither of you knew who the guy was talking about or why this was happening. But that didn’t matter. Screw holding your tears back. “Tom,” you sobbed. “I can’t lose you, okay? I know you want to go save Sarah but she’s probably hiding somewhere with Rina and the girls and they’ll be safe, okay?” You knew that probably wasn’t the case and it was wrong of you not to let him run in to help but you were terrified of losing him. “Please, don’t go in! Please!”

“I’ve got to go! I’ve got to get her! I’m sorry!” He yanked his arm out of your grip and turned to leave.

“I’m going, too! I can help!” 

You didn’t make it two feet until you were picked up and placed back down in front of Tom who was ducking his head to look you in the eye. “I can’t lose you, either, okay? I need to know you’re safe. Please, sweetheart, go get in your car and drive out of here.” He picked up a flashlight someone had dropped while running. “I’m going to get Sarah and get out of here myself. If I see Rina and the others, I’ll grab them, too. I’ll meet you at the hospital. There’s probably going to be a lot of people who need help.”

“That’s why I should stay. I may be pre-med but I can—”

He huffed out a breath and leaned down to kiss you. As he had probably planned, it stunned you. He placed his forehead against yours. “Go, baby,” he murmured. “To the hospital. We’ll be right behind you.”

Before you could say anything else, he hightailed it down to the tunnel, running past people who were still spilling out of the entrance but in fewer and fewer numbers. The last thing you saw was him disappearing inside before you turned and ran back to your car. You didn’t feel right leaving, especially with your friends and Tom still in the tunnel, but you would do as he asked. You’d already selfishly distracted him once; you wouldn’t do so again.     

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You rang the bell of the Hanniger household for the third time, feeling impatience and worry gnawing at you. 

You shouldn’t have been surprised when a swaying Eli finally opened the door or that it was only 1:00 in the afternoon yet he was this inebriated. If he were a better man — a better father even — you might feel sorry for him. His mines weren’t doing too well these days. 

“What do you want?” He slurred out.

You lifted your chin. “I’m here to see your son.”

He snorted. “You mean my fuckup of a son?” He held the door wider in invitation.

You stepped in before he could change his mind. “No, your son. Not his fuckup of a father,” you spat before storming off to find Tom. 

“Sure, come into my house and talk to me like that! You kids have no goddamn respect these days!” He yelled.

You spun around and yelled back, “Go and get another drink, Eli! That’s all you care about anyway!”

“You little bitch!”

You ignored him and ran upstairs to Tom’s room. You found the door closed and you gently knocked. “Tom?”

No answer. 

You knocked again. “Tom, it’s me.” You briefly closed your eyes, remembering things were different than they had been the last time you were here. “Y/N.”

A moment later, Tom opened the door and stood there. He did not look well. He had deep, dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept since what happened. His face was drawn, pale, and it was obvious he hadn’t shaved for a bit. His hair looked as if he had just recently run his fingers through it. He was in a hoodie, sweat pants, and socks. It was hard to tell in this light but it looked like he had lost a little weight.

“Hey.” His voice sounded rough, as if he either hadn’t been using it for a while or he had been yelling and near losing it. You hoped it was the former. If it was the latter, then that could mean possible night terrors and you didn’t want that for him. 

“Hey. Is it okay if I come in?”

He nodded and walked away, leaving the door open. After you closed it behind you, you noticed he was trying to cover the messy bed with the blanket. You noticed a stale smell, as if a window hadn’t been opened in some time, and you spied dirty plates spotting the landscape of his room. You also took note of a half-empty bottle of liquor on his desk. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting company.”

“That’s okay. Don’t worry about it” You laid a tentative hand on his back as he moved and was pleased to see him not immediately shirk it off. After what happened with Harry Warden in the tunnel, for a while he hadn’t wanted anyone touching him. “I just came to see how you’re doing.”

“Not great,” he muttered, turning to sit on his bed. You took a seat next to him, waiting for him to elaborate. “I don’t know what to do, Y/N,” he eventually confessed. “I see him everywhere. I see him when I sleep, I see him when I’m awake. I see him everywhere I go, no matter who’s around, night or day. I don’t know what to do.”

Harry had woken from his coma that night and gone on a killing spree. First at the hospital and then at the mines. Right to the Valentine’s Day party that was being thrown. He didn’t care who he came across, Harry killed them one by one. Sadly, Destiny and Taylor hadn’t made it. Rina had; she was injured but she’d survived. Sarah, Axel, and Irene made it, too, though they were traumatized. They were all traumatized, just like Tom. Tom, who had gone back for Sarah, urged her to run out of there with Axel, and had nearly gotten killed for it. When you thought about how close you came to losing him… You really didn’t want to think about it.

You carefully placed a hand on his bicep and when he didn’t tense, you rubbed your thumb back and forth soothingly. “Have you given any more thought to seeing someone…and talking about it?”

He pulled away from you and ran a hand down his face. “They’re just going to think I’m crazy and want to throw me on meds.”

“Maybe not,” you whispered. “You’ve been traumatized, Tom. They might give you medication to help you sleep but trauma isn’t something that has a magic cure all. I’m not a doctor but I would think that they’ll probably recommend therapy. I mean, is Harry…talking to you when you see him?”

“No, Y/N, I’m not hearing voices in my head if that’s what  you’re asking,” he snapped before getting up and walking away.

“Tom, that’s not what I— I’m sorry, I know you’re not hearing voices. I was only trying to make you feel better by ruling it out. That’s all.”

He shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. He glanced down at you, his jaw tight. “I’m glad you came here today. You should know, I’ve decided to leave town.”

You were immediately on your feet. “And go where?”

He shrugged. “Wherever that isn’t here.” He moved over to the bed and threw off one corner of the blanket to reveal a bag he had been packing. “I can’t stay here, Y/N. It’s too much. Maybe if I can get far enough away…”

“He won’t follow you,” you finished, still staring at the half-packed bag. You almost had to wonder if he would have told you if you hadn’t shown up today. He hid the bag from you for a reason; he knew you wouldn’t want him to leave.

You should’ve known it was coming to this or Tom would have a full on breakdown. First, he broke up with Sarah. Then he withdrew from the public altogether. Now, he was holed up in his room, never leaving it, and repeatedly being terrified and thus re-traumatized each time he saw Harry. Something had to give; he needed to get out of here. 

You felt a lump forming in your throat at the idea of him leaving but you swallowed it back down just as fast. This wasn’t about you. If this was what Tom needed, you would support him. You met his gaze. “Will you call me once you get to where you’re going? Just so I know you made it safely and that you’re okay?”

His eyes softened and he came towards you, cupping your face. “You’ve always understood me. Better than anyone else in this goddamn town.” You noticed he didn’t answer your question and you had a feeling that he planned to leave permanently, never looking back. This time, you couldn’t prevent the lump from forming in your throat or the tears building in your eyes.

“Are you going to be okay?” You nearly winced at the breaks in your voice.

“I will be,” he whispered before pulling you into him and pressing a kiss to the side of your head. Sighing into your ear, he hugged you tightly. “I will be.”

You burrowed into him further, whispering against his shirt, “I love you, Tom. I’ll love you forever.”

You knew he heard you when he murmured back to you, “I love you, too, sweetheart. Always will.” You could hear the breaks in his own voice but still, you smiled. As painful as this was going to be, as heartbreaking as it was, Tom still loved you, just as much as you loved him. Always…and forever.

<-->

You were just finishing up notes in a patient file when someone knocked on your open door and stuck their head into your office. You glanced up to find a familiar face and smiled.

“Well, if it isn’t Dr. Y/L/N,” he said, waltzing in.

You closed the file and took off your glasses. “Well, if it isn’t Deputy Martin,” you laughed. He handed you a cup of coffee. “Aww, thank you. You don’t know how much I needed this.” 

“No problem. You still take it that way, right?”

You took a sip. “I do,” you smiled. 

“So, how’s things in the world of psychiatry?” He took a seat on the edge of your desk.

“Interesting. As always. How about you? How’s things in the law enforcement world?”

“Interesting. As always.”

You chuckled and took another sip of your coffee. “So, what brings you to my side of the hospital? And bearing gifts, no less?”

He shrugged. “I was in the neighborhood and figured I’d check in.”

“Oh? That’s nice.” Chris pressed his lips together and you tilted your head at him, knowing what that little tic meant. “Uh oh. What’s going on?”

He smirked, shaking his head. “I hate it when you do that.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Then don’t be so obvious. I know you too well, Chris. Come on, tell me. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I just… I was wondering if you knew that Tom was back in town.”

Your smile immediately dropped and you placed the coffee down. You put your glasses back on and opened the file back up, holding the pen in your hand as you glanced over your notes. “Yeah. I heard he was here.”  

How could you not? It was a small town after all. News and gossip spread faster than wildfire here. The word on the street was that Tom was back to sell the mines and no one was happy about that.

When you didn’t hear anything else, you glanced up to find Chris giving you a knowing look. “What?”

“Has he been by to see you?”

Well, that hurt. You knew Chris wasn’t asking you that to hurt you but it didn’t mean the question still didn’t cause you pain. You shook your head and went back to your file. “No. And I don’t expect he will be.” 

Ben had already complained down at the local bar, before Tom even showed up, that the damn kid was going to sell the mines and Eli would be turning over in his grave if he knew. He was only coming into town to sign the paperwork and then he’d be off again to God knew where. He’d even assured everyone he switched the paper signing until the Monday following Tom’s arrival, in hopes that he could get him to change his mind. 

When you heard Tom was coming back, you didn’t get your hopes up though your heart lightened at the news. You hadn’t seen or heard from Tom in ten years. He’d literally pulled a disappearing act. While you expected it, it still hurt that he never once called or wrote to you to let you know that he was still alive. Not once.

Besides, you already knew who he’d dropped in to see the minute he hit town. You supposed one needed groceries and toiletries, that sort of thing, if they were going to stay for a weekend they hadn’t initially planned on. And the fact that Sarah now ran the store and was there practically all day every day was just a coincidence.

You knew better of course and you couldn’t pretend like it didn’t break your heart just a little more. So, no, you didn’t expect to see him at all. And as much as it hurt to admit it to yourself, it was probably for the best. 

While a part of you still loved Tom and always would, you now had the benefits of maturity, age, and experience. When you looked back on your relationship, it had been one of intense young love and folly for you, first love even. And while you had more compassion and understanding along with a more detached view of things through a different lens now, you could admit there were some things that occurred that weren’t so great. For example, your decision to surprise him in the mines for a Valentine’s Day quickie, all because you loved him so much and was desperate to do whatever it took to keep him with you. You’d put both of you at risk and while Tom was an adult who was responsible for his own decisions, you still took responsibility for being the one to initiate the whole thing. It had been your idea after all. Then there had been his breaking it off with you and choosing to date Sarah not even a month later. While he was single and an adult, free to make his own decisions, the fact that he did it partially to please his father was not an okay reason in your book to hurt you and toss you aside as if you meant nothing. As the adage went, hindsight was truly 20/20. You were no longer that young, foolish girl anymore. If Tom wanted to see you, he would see you. If he didn’t, then he didn’t. It was that simple. You weren’t going to sway things one way or the other.

“Come on, Y/N. I know you just as well. You’re telling me, you don’t hope he stops by before he skips town again?”

You smiled up at Chris. “Not in the slightest.”

<-->

You threw on your lab coat, lifting your hair out of the neckline. You twisted your hair up into a bun and stuck a pen through it. You placed your stethoscope around your neck and then traded your heels for the nurse’s shoes you kept in a desk drawer for situations like these.

There had been an explosion at the mines and it was an all hands on deck situation in the ER. So far, two survivors had been found and were being brought in. They were still clearing the mines to make sure no one else had been hurt. You were getting ready to lock up your office and head down to see what you could do to help. 

You were grabbing pens to put in your pocket, tossing a red pen back into the drawer, when out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a figure in the doorway.

“Doc,” a man gasped.

“I’m sorry. I’m about to run down to the ER. There’s been an emergency in town and all doctors are needed. I can find you a nurse if you—”

You dropped the remaining pens in your hand when you glanced up to find a bleeding Tom Hanniger standing in your doorway, holding onto his side. “Tom,” you gasped, frozen. 

His pained glare suddenly transformed into one of the most terrifying smirks you had ever seen in your life. “Guess again.” He then shut the door behind him, locking it, before he started making his way over to you. 

<-->

You rushed off the elevator, hurrying over to where a bloodied Sarah was nervously pacing in the surgery waiting room. You noticed Chris was with her as was Deputy Ferris. Sarah’s little boy, Noah, was sitting on one of the seats behind her, playing quietly with his toy.

“Sarah,” you called.

She turned to see you approaching and immediately hurried over to you, throwing her arms around you, beginning to cry. You rubbed her back soothingly and shushed her. “You’re alright now.”

Sarah pulled back out of your embrace. “Tom, he’s… He’s gone.”

You pressed your lips together, your eyes tearing up. “I know,” you choked out. Based on what you had just seen and heard, you knew she was speaking the truth.

She hugged you again and you embraced her back tightly, tears rolling down your cheeks as you saw Chris watching you both. You squeezed your eyes shut and let out a quiet sob when you heard Sarah crying again. You both held each other as you both quietly mourned the Tom you both had loved.

<-->

You unlocked your office door and stepped inside before locking it again. You began to empty your pockets of the supplies you’d nabbed when a figure moved from behind a filing cabinet in the far corner and appeared in your vision, making you quietly gasp.

There stood Tom, still holding his wounded side. “What took so long?” He demanded.

Your jaw tightened as you remembered who you were dealing with now. “Sorry, Harry. I had to get supplies without causing any eyebrows to raise. That takes time. Now, come sit down.”  

He warily approached and sat down on the edge of the desk as you directed. You snapped gloves on and he moved his hand away from his side when you prompted him to. He hissed in pain as you began to prod at the bullet wound.

“Can you fix me up or not?” He growled.

“Well, Harry, as I told you, I’m not a surgeon. But I will do my best.” You began to gently wipe away the blood, from both the entry and exit sites. “The good news is it looks like the bullet went straight through.”

“I told you that,” he snapped.

“Yes and I’m confirming it,” you snapped back. It was very strange to have someone you hated so much inside of the body of the person you loved most. 

“Just do your goddamn job, Doc.”

You snapped up straight and looked him right in the eye. “Let’s get something straight, the only reason I’m helping you right now is because of Tom. I could care less what happens to you, you son of a bitch.”

He gave you that smirk again that made your blood run cold. “And let’s get something else straight. If you don’t fix me up, I’ll kill you. Got it?”

You didn’t answer him. Instead, you grabbed a pad of gauze, dumped some of your finest alcohol on it, and slapped it onto the injury site, making him yell out in pain. You smirked in satisfaction though inside you felt guilty. Sorry, Tom. You really wished you could expel Harry from him, like he was some sort of demon you could exorcise. 

“Sorry about that.” You were anything but. “I have to clean the site before I inspect it for further damage.”

His chest was heaving and he was glaring at you. “Just do your job, bitch. Or you’re dead,” he grunted.

You huffed out a snort and repeated the process with the exit site, making him grit his teeth, a pained yell straining against them. You proceeded to make sure there wasn’t any critical damage that you could see and then went about starting to suture the wound. You ignored the grunts and gritting of his teeth the entire time and just focused on falling back on your training. You’d barely flinched when he started drinking your booze. (it was his fault he wouldn’t let you use any needles to apply local anesthetics) When you were done, you snipped the loose tail of the sutures and then bandaged up the area. You quickly cleaned and bandaged the wounds on his face and treated any burns he might have. The entire time you did, you felt pain and remorse for Tom for each wound you found that would now scar his body. Though you supposed scars were a small price to pay considering the explosion he’d been in that could have killed him. Your jaw clenched at the thought and you hated Harry even more. 

You finished cleaning him up and threw out the last bit of bloody gauze. “It’s probably a waste of time to say this to you but you need to take it easy with that bullet wound, keep the area clean, and come back in two weeks to have the sutures removed. If any extreme bleeding occurs, you should get to the ER immediately. If the sutures pop out, you should do the same. If you start to develop a fever or other—”

“Yeah, Doc, I got it.” He slowly got to his feet and held a hand to his side. “Not bad.”

You took off your gloves and threw them to the side, crossing your arms. “Am I free to go now?”

His eyes snapped over to you and you could swear you could see a whole other person. In Tom’s eyes, the eyes you loved, you saw Harry, and they were darker and harder than Tom’s green could ever be. Tom clearly wasn’t the one in the driver’s seat, even if his behavior and personality right then weren’t already making that obvious. “For now. But if you screw me over, I’m coming back for you.” A hint of a smirk appeared on his face as if he enjoyed that idea, almost hoping you would give him the excuse. 

You knew he was waiting for you to tremble in fear at his threat but you didn’t. “Truly, Harry, I hope I never see you again.” With that, you walked out of your office and you refused to give him the satisfaction of looking back.

<-->

You knocked on the open room door and stuck your head in. “Hey,” you greeted with a small smile.

Axel and Sarah both glanced over and saw you.

“Hey.” Axel faintly smiled. 

Sarah got up and gave you another hug. You rubbed her shoulder as she returned to her seat next to her husband and you came to a stop at the foot of the bed. “So, how’s the patient?”

“He’s doing well.” Sarah smiled as she took Axel’s hand in hers. “He’ll be in here for a little while but then he can come home.” Axel turned his smile onto her. You glanced back and forth between them. Apparently, that marriage was no longer on the rocks. You were glad for Sarah’s sake, though you still thought she could do better. Despite how things went with Tom, you didn’t blame her or hold her responsible. She had always been kind to you, good to Tom, and you knew she was a decent person. You could almost understand why Tom had loved her so much.

You forced a smile onto your face. “Glad to hear it.”

Another knock on the door garnered your attention. You turned to see Chris walk in. He came to a stop next to you. “Hey, Sheriff. Sarah. Y/N.”

“Hey,” Axel greeted. You gave him a nod and Sarah gave him a smile.

He turned to look at you but you were already steps ahead of him. “Did you do as I asked?”

He nodded. “Picked him up about an hour ago. Had to ask for that town’s sheriff to help but we got him. And he doesn’t know it has anything to do with you. We purposely mentioned in front of him that a store owner from that town called it in after recognizing him from the news.”

“Thanks.” He gave you another nod.

“Wait, what are you two talking about?” Axel asked. Sarah looked just as curious while also fearful.

You pressed your lips together and Chris turned to face his boss. “We picked up Tom Hanniger in the next town over. We have him in custody and we’re starting processing.”

Both of their eyes went wide. “Tom’s alive?” Sarah gasped.

The deputy exchanged glances with you. “In a way but he goes by Harry now.”

“Shit,” Axel breathed. “You need to call in every reinforcement. We don’t have the manpower to hold him.”

Chris held up a placating hand. “It’s already done but trust me, we’ve got him locked down. As it is, the DA and the Judge are deciding what to do with him.” He looked over at you.

“Deciding what to do with him? What does that mean?” Axel’s eyes were on you, too.

“Harmony isn’t the place for Tom to be right now. It’s his trigger and that’s why Harry is currently in control. I’ve asked for a meeting with the DA and Judge Harrison as well as the Chief of my department to discuss Tom’s case.” You took a breath, knowing this next part wasn’t going to go over well. “We’re looking to get him moved to a maximum security psychiatric hospital up North.”

“Are you kidding me?” Axel started to sit up but grunted in pain. 

Sarah got up and gently pushed his shoulder down. “Axel, be careful. You just had major surgery yesterday.”

“Sheriff, easy. You’re still healing,” Chris chimed in. 

He ignored both of them. “After all of the people he’s killed? People are going to want justice and to see it done here in Harmony.”

You could feel an age-old anger welling up inside of you but you tried to tamp it back down. “He’s not mentally competent to stand trial, Axel.”

“Not mentally competent? Really? That’s the excuse we’re going with here? He was mentally competent when he killed those people! When he lied about it and tried to cover it up and blame me! When he attacked me and my wife, about to kill us! When killed Rosa and came for my son!” He gripped onto Sarah’s hand.

“I understand that. But the law states—”

“No offense, Y/N,” Axel interrupted. “But you’re not an expert on the law. Leave that to people like Judge Harrison who actually know the law.” Well, so much for you keeping that anger and resentment in check.

“None taken. And no offense, Axel, but you’re not an expert in psychological disorders, either. Leave that to people like myself who know what we’re talking about,” you snapped.

Chris laid a gentle hand on your shoulder and held up his other hand in Axel’s direction. “Hey, hey, now. We’re all on the same team here. We all want the same thing.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Do we?” He dropped his hand. You then glared over at Axel and Sarah. “Let’s not pretend like you two and Irene didn’t leave Tom there to die back when Harry was on a killing spree which severely traumatized him and that’s why all of this happened in the first place! That’s what started this whole thing!”

Sarah looked ashamed and stayed quiet. Your ire wasn’t really for her anyway. You knew she had been wanting to go back to help Tom before Harry threw that pickaxe. Axel, on the other hand, saw red. “Are you kidding me? We were about to be killed! I had to get her and Irene out of there! Tom would have done the same had it been him and it would’ve been the right thing to do! Regardless, it doesn’t excuse anything that Tom or Harry or whatever the fuck he calls himself now did! And us leaving him alone started this? No, let’s talk about really started this whole thing off! You decided to go down into the mines to give your boy toy a little nookie, he got distracted and forgot to clear the lines, then boom! The mines collapsed on top of Harry Warden and the others and that’s what really started this off! Because Harry wouldn’t have been in the mines a year later, killing people, and nothing would have happened to Tom or any of us! So you want to play the blame game? Look in the mirror, Y/N!” Sarah was softly telling him to stop but he ignored her. “Oh, and let’s not pretend that you’re not doing anything but trying to make excuses for the guy you’re still hung up on after all these years who didn’t give a fuck about you and dropped you like a bad habit the minute his daddy told him to! Who left you behind to rot!”

Your left eye was starting to twitch, something that only happened when you were either very stressed or very angry. Right then, it was definitely the latter. Sarah’s gaze was trained on her hand covering her husband’s and Chris was looking down at the footboard. You forced yourself to speak calmly but firmly. “That has nothing to do with this. It has to do with helping someone who needs help. I’m simply doing my job and the right thing at the same time. When was the last time you could say the same for yourself, Axel?” His jaw clenched but he stayed quiet and you gave him the worst glare you could summon up. “Get well soon.”

You turned and walked out of the room. You were right about one thing; Sarah could do better.

You were waiting for the elevator when you heard Chris come up behind you, laying a hand on your shoulder to stop you. “Hey, hey, hey.” You spun around to face him and he rubbed his thumb back and forth over the fabric of your coat. “Are you okay?”

You unclenched your jaw long enough to say, “I’m fine.”

He nodded and lowered his hand. “You know, it’s no excuse for the things he said but Axel’s in pain right now, he’s not thinking straight, and they just went through another traumatic experience of their own. And they have their son, who was there when Rosa was killed. He’s just dealing with a lot.”

“I get that, Chris. I do. But Tom didn’t do those things, Harry did.”

He sighed and put his hands on his hips. “Y/N, I’m not disagreeing with you but Tom did lie, he covered it up. Like the motel killings. Did Harry drive away from the scene, ignoring the trucker’s dead body in the lot, before we arrived or did Tom?” 

You shook your head, looking away from him.

“I know Tom means a lot to you and I respect that. I know you have history and you want to help him.” He cupped your chin and forced you to meet his eyes. “But I also care about you. I don’t want to see you get hurt. There’s a possibility that Tom himself may not be who you actually think he is. Who any of us thought he was growing up.”

You gently lowered his hand. “Chris, I appreciate your concern and I know we had…something between us for a while. And I’m grateful that you helped me earlier, I really am. But I know Tom. He’s not a killer. He’s not Harry. Harry only exists because of the trauma he suffered. He doesn’t even know who he’s killed or what’s happened. I need to get him out of this town so I can begin working to get him back.”

Chris sighed and studied you for a moment. “Then how did he know about Megan and the words written above her body?”

“He got it from the card she wrote. You told me that yourself, Chris, because Sarah told you about it.”

“No, I mean, if Tom saw the card and Harry killed Megan and wrote those words in her blood, then how did Tom know they were written above her body?”

You realized he was making a good point but that didn’t change your mission. “I don’t know, but I intend to find out.” You then got onto the elevator that had just arrived, you and Chris watching each other as the doors closed.

<-->

Tom didn’t remember how he got here. He didn’t even remember waking up. One moment, Harry was about to attack him and Sarah wouldn’t save him, again. The next moment, he was in a white t-shirt and white pajama pants, stuck in a cell that looked strangely familiar. Had he dreamt all of it? Going back to Harmony, seeing Sarah again, dealing with that asshole Axel, trying to figure out who the killer was — all of it —had it all been one big nightmare?

He soon realized that wasn’t the case. His lawyer came to see him and informed him of the things he’d been accused of (after the man had been contacted to come back and speak to his actual client). As of right now, he was found to be mentally unfit to stand trial thanks to an impassioned argument by his doctor as well as himself. But that could change at any time. Tom insisted he hadn’t done those horrific things, that Harry Warden did, but nobody seemed to believe him or was even listening.

For the first few days, Tom had been desperate. A doctor came in and met with him, asked him how he was feeling, and then fully explained the disorder he had been diagnosed with. It turned out that he had been misdiagnosed in the last institution he had been in and improperly medicated. That was why the medication never worked. They had been treating him for delusions when in reality he had Dissociative Identity Disorder. He was going to be starting a therapy regimen as soon as possible. Harry had already been involuntarily involved in the program since his arrival here. The doctor also informed him that they had to keep Harry heavily sedated but depending on how things went with Tom, they might not have to do the same with him.

Tom had been completely dumbfounded. It was bad enough that he still carried the trauma of what happened back in ‘98 and it had followed him around for a decade, literally, but now Harry had become a permanent part of him? He would now never be able to outrun Harry. Not to mention, he was now officially on the hook for multiple murders thanks to the surly son of a bitch, even after what happened in 1997 and then a year later when he woke from his coma. Tom’s body count was extensive and he himself hadn’t even done anything. Well, except forget to bleed the lines that one time which led to the collapse that then started all of this, he supposed. So maybe he truly was responsible for all of those people’s horrific deaths, whether he swung the pickaxe himself or not.

One morning before the therapy began, they came to get him and brought him to a room that looked strikingly similar to a police interrogation room, with the two-sided mirror and everything, though there was white padding on the walls. He protested when they strapped him into a straitjacket but they told him it was for his own safety as well as the doctor’s. As if that weren’t enough, two large orderlies picked corners of the room to stand in, watching his every move. 

Someone popped their head in to tell Tom his doctor would be meeting with him shortly, they were just finishing up with another patient. All Tom could do was nod. “Thanks,” he muttered.

A few minutes later, the doctor he’d been waiting for walked in. His eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw it was you. You gave him a small smile and took the seat opposite him. “Hello, Tom. I’m Dr. Y/N Y/L/N. How are we feeling today?”

“Um…okay.” He was still trying to recover from the shock of seeing you there. He hadn’t seen you since that night all of those years ago, right before he left town. He also thought you were working at Harmony Memorial last he heard, a pit stop he planned to make once he’d signed the papers to sell the mines. That is, before everything went to shit. “Y/N? What’s going on?”

“It’s Dr. Y/L/N,” you corrected. “And nothing’s going on. I’m here to evaluate you before we start your therapy regimen.” You opened a file and began glancing at the papers within. “The court requires it.”

Tom felt so lost. It had been hard enough waking up to what he did but now you were here? Clearly his doctor? And you were pretending not to know him? He didn’t know what to think or where to stick his head. “This can’t be real,” he said to himself and shook his head. “This can’t—”

“Shhh,” you soothed. “It’s okay, Tom. This is very real and we’re going to help you.” You clicked your pen and began making notes in his chart. 

“Yeah, but you— You’re— And you’re pretending like— This can’t be real.”

Your eyes snapped up to his and you stopped writing. He didn’t know what you saw but you got to your feet and circled the table. You snapped your fingers and both orderlies looked away. “Actually, Tom, there’s something I forgot to mention.” You came up behind him and his nerves began to spike. Was he about to be drugged? Attacked? Would he finally wake up from this nightmare? Maybe he’d wake up to you; he’d give anything to have that happen. 

He jumped a little when he felt your lips at his ear. “I’ll love you forever,” you whispered.

Automatically, the corner of Tom’s lips tipped up in a smile. Hearing that from you brought back so many good memories of your times together, of your relationship. He didn’t instantly relax but he felt a little lighter than he had a moment ago. 

“Welcome back, Tom. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too, sweetheart,” he whispered back to you.

His smile grew when he felt you brush a tender kiss to the side of his head before you straightened up and made your way back around the table. You snapped your fingers again and the orderlies were now facing forward, watching you both intently. 

You sat back down and picked up your pen, giving him a genuine smile. “Now, Tom, shall we get started?”

He wished he could reach across the table and take your hand in his. You still looked at him as you did all of those years ago, like he didn’t have a murderous personality that left pain and suffering and dead bodies in its wake. You still looked at him as if he was the same guy you’d given your heart and body to back in high school. The same guy you’d once told that after you finished med school (when you got in), that you’d want to settle down with him and eventually start a family with him. The same guy you said you’d move wherever whenever for him if he didn’t want to stay in Harmony, if he didn’t want to take over for his dad one day. The same guy you looked at with complete devotion, affection, and reverence that he knew he didn’t deserve. And with you looking at him just like that right now, he knew he still didn’t deserve it but God did he love you for it. You still loved him; it was clear as day in your eyes. He realized then that you had meant back then every single word of what you just said; you would love him forever. He had meant what he said to you back then, too. Though he never should’ve given you up when his old man demanded it. What the hell had he been thinking?

You arched your brows at him expectantly, almost as if you knew what he had been thinking. 

He leaned forward a little and gave you a soft smile, hoping you would understand what he was trying to tell you. “Always.”

You returned his smile, giving him a wink. You’d heard him. He began to relax and your smile then turned into a more professional one. “That’s what I like to hear. Alright, Tom. Let’s begin, shall we?”

A/N: For the record, I highly doubt Y/N could have been Tom's doctor, especially since a prosecutor could have argued that it was a conflict of interest and possibly gotten any records she'd made inadmissible. I think, anyway. But it was too fun an idea not to explore. Plus, I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that someone who has been diagnosed with DID is not incapable of being tried by the law for crimes committed, even if it was committed by one of their alters and they are completely innocent (I think). But I couldn't just have Tom go straight to jail in this one or even to trial. I wanted to focus on him coming back and Y/N helping him as well as their sort of reunion.

[icallhimjoey]

I call him Joey, just to feel something

so there we go.

Joe Quinn fanfiction series (updated 16 march 2024)

Define Close (flatmates season 1) - lots of fluff, hurt/comfort part one - part two - part three - part four - part five  Summary: What are good flatmates even if they don't comfort you when you need it most? Or when you need it a normal amount? Or, you know, when you don't really need it, but just really want it? Total Wordcount: 18.3K

Explain Us (flatmates season 2) - lots of fluff, lil smut, hurt/comfort part one - part two - part three - part four - part five Summary: So, more than flatmates... but, what exactly? Would be fantastic if you would just, you know, talk about it. But communicating is not your strong suit and you're extremely certain that it's fine. Confusing and vague, but, fine. Total Wordcount: 17.7K

Reinvent Love (flatmates season 3) - lots of fluff, lil smut, lil angst, hurt/comfort part one - part two - part three - part four - part five Summary: You and Joe are treading new waters. You’re no longer flatmates, but still close. More than friends, but nothing defined. Nothing labeled. Determined to not lose what you have, though. But, can you? Total Wordcount (so far): 13.7K

Mistaken, Not Stirred - 18+, strangers to lovers part one - part two - part three - part four - part five Summary: Joe loves his favourite underground cocktail bar, a speakeasy where he knows the owner well enough to call him a friend. It's his comfort spot where he goes to unwind, until suddenly, you're there. And you're fucking up the way things are. You're lucky you're cute. Total Wordcount: 17.6K

Lost And Found - 18+, strangers to lovers part one - part two - part three - part four - part five Summary: You take a little break, a week away to somewhere warm to relax and calm your senses. So does Joe - same flight, same hotel, same travel plans and, worst of all, same suitcase. Total Wordcount: 18.9K

More Than This - 18+, smut, fwb to maybe more? part one - part two - part three - part four - part five Summary: Friends with benefits should be an easy straight forward sort of thing, right? You’re adults and it’s been clear from the start, so this should be an easy thing. Well, clearly it’s not. And that’s not your fault. Total Wordcount: 21.2K

Double Or Nothing - 18+, smut, friends to lovers part one - part two - part three - part four - part five Summary: You agree to participate in a stupid silly bet that Joe is so very sure you are going to win. When you don't win, Joe flips the script and... takes matters into his own hands.  Total Wordcount: 21.2K

Between Floors and Feelings - fluff, hurt/comfort part one - part two - part three - part four - part five Summary: Joe’s on his way home when a distraught looking girl with red eyes and mascara stains all down her face gets onto the tube. What better way to finish the night by getting stuck in one of the Covent Garden station lifts together? To add insult to injury: you’re in a dirty wedding dress, are actively dissociating and you really need to pee.   Total Wordcount: 18K 

To Have And To Scold - 18+, smut, fluff, angst part one - part two - part three - part four - part five - part six - part seven - part eight - part nine - part ten - epilogue Summary: Your best friends are getting married, and who else can they ask to be their best man and maid of honour but you and Joe? It’s just that... you don’t really get along all that well, do you? At least, that’s what you think. Total Wordcount: 48.3K 

All Goes South - 18+, smut, fluff, angst part one - part two - part three - part four - part five Summary: Joe is overworked, tired, exhausted and just… he needs a break. Everyone knows it, too. None of it is really exciting to him anymore. But then, he meets you, and something reignites within him. Total Wordcount: 21.2K

In 120 Hours - 18+ implied smut, fluff part one - part two - part three - part four - part five - (smutty interlude) Summary: You work as a temp and are offered a very exclusive interview for a very exclusive job. You see, someone needs a personal assistant for a very eventful week, and you just so happen to be the perfect fit. Total Wordcount: 18.8K

Sunshine Blend Dark Roast - fluff, angst part one - part two - part three - part four - part five Summary: You work in a coffee shop and are a whirlwind of a girl. Joe loves it, but it's scary, because letting new people close is a whole different thing now that he's famous. Keeping you at a distance though? You're not having it. Total Wordcount: 12.7K

I've Got You - 18+ smut, fluff part one - part two - part three - part four - part five Summary: You and your flatmate have perfected the art of wingmanship for one another. It's a great system that seems to work every single time, until you're left unsatisfied.  Total Wordcount: 17.1K 

Only Temporary - slow burn, fluff part one - part two - part three - part four - part five Summary: Joe needs a temporary living space, and you happen to have a spare room to let. One plus one equals two, baby. Total Wordcount: 20.4K

Like a Poem (bookstore season 1) – slow burn, fluff, hurt/comfort part one - part two - part three - part four -  part five Summary: Joe finds solace in a quaint bookstore, your bookstore, from a hectic situation in the streets. But, you’re closed. But then, also, that’s Joseph Quinn.  Total Wordcount: 14.6K

A Lot Like Love (bookstore season 2) – slow burn, fluff part one - part two - part three - part four - part five Summary: A continuation of Like A Poem. You lull in between definitions of relationship: bookstore owner and customer? actor and fan? friends? even lovers?  Total Wordcount: 17.6K

A Whisper Away (bookstore season 3) – fluff, hurt/comfort, angst part one - part two - part three - part four - part five Summary: A continuation of Like A Poem and A Lot Like Love where we dip into your November for a couple consecutive years and see how you’re getting on with the bookstore, Joe’s career and… other changes. Total Wordcount: 17.3K

  -> back to home ♥

[honey-tongued-devil]

BG3 city for Fanfiction writers and reader

[Guide to Lodging in Baldur's Gate 3]

Disclaimer: This post is intended to provide potential readers with a clearer idea of the taverns. It's useful if you want to read my writings or if you've never played and have no idea what ElfSong is, but want to better understand some stories you read or write your own. Feel free to ask anything!

General information (Elfsong)

Lore

In-game map screen

My modifications

Other location

Context: A small revised map of the ElfSong tavern because:

Not everyone reading the fanfiction has played the game, so I'm sorry they don't have context.

I love you all, that room is meant to be comfortable in terms of the story, they're all close enough to interact with each other, but such a lack of privacy is almost comical (besides the fact that it should be the entire floor of a tavern, not a family room), so I felt the need to "reprogram" the rooms.

1- ElfSong General Information:

The Elfsong tavern is located in the Lower City, popular judging by how crowded it is. However, since a major murder occurred, people are hesitant to stay overnight. That's why Alan (the guy behind the counter) offers an entire floor for a few coins (200 gold pieces). As a tavern, if you don't have camping supplies, you can buy dinner directly for 60 gold pieces from your room. It has an underground cellar full of wine, a ground floor with the kitchen, bar area, and entertainment area, a first floor (technically blocked due to a murder), a second floor where you can stay overnight, and a very nice area to relax on the roof. To access the second floor, there is also an external staircase that allows you (if you have a hypothetical key) to avoid the chaos of the tavern and enter from outside.

2- Lore (from NPCs):

Not the best tavern in town, but one of the most famous, especially for its ghosts. Many people go there to hear the "ghostly elven song," and the ghost's crying is often heard too, making it an attraction for many. For this reason, there are no bards in the tavern. A bard in town tells us that the ghost is self-centered and doesn't like to share attention, so it's hard for bards to be accepted there, and they have to go to other taverns. There is a closed room with some refreshments where a comedian performs, providing entertainment for those who want it without disturbing those there for the ghost or minding their own business. There are two cats, even though they're in the kitchen, who are extremely lazy and arrogant. (They will persuade you to kill the mice for them so they can peacefully enjoy the reward).

3- Building map:

ground floor

First floor (locked) (no pictures)

Single room

Second floor room

corridor and Roof

4- Changes made in my stories:

The rentable floors go from two to four, for a total of seven floors (basement, ground floor, first floor, second floor, third floor, fourth floor, roof).

Given there is a total of six companions, three recruitable characters, your tav, and, in any case, four free beds (where the active party generally sleeps), each floor will have seven single rooms, not too small but independent. Additionally, there will be a common area, identical to the in-game one, at the opposite end of the hallway from the entrance stairs.

The common areas will resemble those in the game, identical but without the communal bath and beds. There will be a fireplace with two sofas on each side and a couple of stools, along with two tables, a carpet with cushions, and a hookah.

Companions are divided between the third and fourth floors. This allows the rooms to be larger, and the floors are less crowded.

Since in the game there is a staircase that allows access to the rented rooms from the outside (and not from the inside), to avoid intrusions, the first and second floors are only accessible from inside the inn, while the third and fourth floors are accessible only through an external staircase.

The staircase for the first two floors is guarded by two bouncers when the Elfsong is opened, and when the tavern is closed, with a wooden door that closes the staircase, and a second one that closes the inn itself.

The staircase for the last two floors, being external, is protected by a metal gate preceding the staircase and a wooden door leading to corridor that leads the rooms.

5- Other places where it is possible to stay overnight:

The Shanty (Outskirts): A seedy place where often unsavory characters roam. Astarion mentions when entering that he used to go there frequently to look for victims for Cazador. (Ground floor, first floor, attic with a hidden room)

Abandoned House (Rivington, adjacent city): The owner has abandoned it to find a better place. There are holes in the walls, but it offers good shelter if desperate, although I recommend boarding up the walls first (one floor, a fireplace, a bed, but you make do).

Caress of Sharess: A brothel with many independent rooms accessible from an external corridor to ensure customer privacy. The main building has a bar area on the ground floor and a mezzanine with a restaurant area. The rooms are varied and different in style. For example, one has a kind of tub in the first room and a canopy bed in the second, with a completely floral style. Another is a kind of library, with a basin for washing and supplies inside. Be creative.

Nortale Hostel: A modest and very rustic hostel located in a fairly central position in the Lower City. Pammella Nortale, a charming and well-groomed halfling, is the one in charge. They primarily accommodate refugees, and the place is funded through donations. The hostel is divided into two floors. On the upper floor, there are six bunk beds (12 total sleeping spots) with six large chests, each secured with a lock. Ideal if you want to stay incognito and don't have too much gold with you.

The Blushing Mermaid

[autisticsupervillain]

Fanfiction Throwdown!

Fictional Throwdown Friday applied to fanfiction characters. These fan works can be anything from fanfictions, fan songs, fan games, mods, scripts, creepypastas, and more. The original creator reserves every right to ask my to take these down and I will seek permission in advance when possible.

This Week's Fighters...

Clover vs Undyne!

Conditions:

LV 20 Clover vs Undyne the Undying

Scenario:

The end of the genocide route to Undertale Yellow plays out the same as in canon, except Undyne is in the throne room when Clover confronts Asgore. Getting obliterated alongside the King, Undyne comes back as the Undying to keep Clover from stealing the human souls and dooming the Underground.

Analysis: Clover

A long time ago, humans and monsters lived together in harmony. But, one day, that peace was broken, and humanity launched a genocidal campaign against monster kind. Mankind sealed the monsters away behind a powerful magical barrier that could only be broken with the power of seven human souls.

These days, everyone that goes near Mt. Ebott tends to disappear. Five children have gone missing already, their souls harnessed so that monsterkind could break the barrier. Clover, a young child, a self made sheriff with a heart of gold, lept into the Underground to avenge the missing children and bring Justice to the Underground.

We already know how that ends. It doesn't matter whether Clover approaches the monsters they find with kindness or cruelty. They will end up the sixth soul in Asgore's keep all the same. Except for one timeline...

There is one version of this story where Clover survives. Where they bring justice to the souls of the dead. The Genocide Timeline. Let Justice Be Done.

In Clover's eyes, every monster that tries to stop them is complicate in Asgore's atrocities, punishable by death. They've traded in their trusty toy gun with a real six shooter, loaded up with Flowey's own Friendliness Pellets, allowing them to attack both body and soul. Just like Frisk, Clover can withstand magical attacks that damage both body and soul and can move fast enough to dodge lightning, bullets, and sound. Even Neutral Route Clover, who isn't even strong enough to scratch Asgore, is still fast enough to dodge his attacks for a time. Genocide Route Clover should be even faster.

When Clover's trusty side arm isn't enough, Clover can fire shots directly from their soul, to the point of being able to charge up the blast to completely vaporize their enemies. This laser has at times been strong enough to split the mechanical killing machine Axis clean in half and even vaporize Asgore himself in one shot.

This ability, like all of Clover's powers, is fueled entirely by their single minded pursuit of their brand of justice. When Axis reveals he was the one who killed the Blue Soul, Clover gains several levels through sheer force of rage and obliterates him in a single hit. Warped as their definition of Justice may be, it is genuine. Clover will allow fleeing or surrendering opponents to live, will not kill monsters who don't get in their way, and will even honor opponents they find respectable. When Starlo, sheriff of the Wild East, challenges Clover to a quick draw, Clover not only humors him, but has a chance to let Starlo get a shot off on them, just so he dies feeling like a hero.

Clover's sense of Justice is so strong it can allow them to read an opponent's memories. In the Neutral Route, Clover was able to fight Flowey to a stalemate as he tried to absorb their soul, forcing him to reset. A feat they'd replicate later in Undertale canon when Omega Flowey loses control of the human souls. But, this version of Clover takes it even further. After reaching Level 20, they're strong enough to override Flowey's determination entirely, stealing his ability to SAVE and LOAD the game.

Clover is, as a rule, generally much weaker than standard Undertale characters. The reason Flowey sent Clover on a roundabout trip through the Underground was because they simply couldn't survive against Undyne or other obstacles Frisk could beat with ease. Their True Pacifist final boss is weaker than Papyrus according to the check stats. Undertale absolutely clears the Undertale Yellow cast and it's not even close.

Flowey never considered they'd get any stronger than that. But through the power of LOVE, Determination, and, above all, Justice, Clover did, becoming more powerful than any of their counterparts in other timelines and obliterating Flowey mercilessly.

With nothing left in the Underground to stop them, Clover tanks Asgore's hit so hard his trident shatters, before vaporizing him along with most of the throne room. Justice is done. The past can rest. And with a sea of dust behind them, Clover walks out of the Underground with the other human souls.

Analysis: Undyne

Monsterkind has not seen the surface of the Earth in generations. Sealed away by mistrustful humans long ago, monsters now live beneath the surface of Mt. Ebott. With limited resources that will one day run dry, the monsters live a life without light and without hope.

The Underground needs a hero. Undyne, the Captain of the Royal Guard, is willing to step up to the challenge.

Inspired by heroes who served in the Human-Monster War, Undyne dedicated her life to training, hoping to claim the soul of the next human who fell Underground so that monsters can break the barrier and save themselves. And if she had to kill a child to do so, so be it. Monsters have suffered long enough.

Undyne, as Captain of the Royal Guard, is Natura one of the strongest monsters in the Underground, one of the few whose blows can stagger King Asgore himself. She can summon her spears to attack from any direction, even directly beneath the enemy's feet, and can circle around you to attack from the opposite direction they came from. Her magical spears do damage to both body and soul simultaneously, potentially even destroying your soul with one hit. Furthermore, Undyne can turn a foe's soul green, physically rooting them in place to keep her foe from evading or escaping her blows. Though, her sense of fair play does bite her here, as she has a tendency to provide her opponent with a shield to defend themselves with.

But, above all, Undyne's greatest strength is her determination. Her shear stubbornness rivals even that of other humans, allowing her to harness the spiritual essance of Determination in a way no other monster can. Regenerating from being split in half in a burst of desperate willpower to become the Undying.

As the Undying, Undyne is far and away the strongest being in the Underground, trumping even Asgore in sheer strength by a wide margin. Her attacks from every direction become nearly unavoidable and her sheer durability makes any fight with her a marathon.

The only problem is, it doesn't last forever. When Undyne reaches her limits in this form, she will begin to melt, as her body just cannot handle high concentrations of Determination like a human body can. As a monster, Undyne is extra vulnerable to attacks with a high killing intent, which Determination can't quite entirely negate. Against a human with greater Determination, her defeat is inevitable...

Luckily, if the Player has any conscience at all, that won't happen. If Frisk is allowed to show mercy, Undyne gets the chance to realize that not all humans are evil, setting aside her prejudice to help Frisk save the Underground from absolute destruction and break the barrier.

No matter your choices, Undyne will always be the Hero of the Underground.

Throwdown Theme:

Throwdown Breakdown:

You might've noticed that I was uncharacteristically light on calcs and numbers for this breakdown and that's ultimately because these two scale to around the same level of power. While Clover in most timelines is weaker than even Papyrus in a straight up fight, Genocide Clover is exponentially stronger than Asgore, just like the Undying, so stats should generally be about even here.

Undyne's attack style is completely unlike anything Clover's encountered before, being rooted in one place and forced to block instead of dodge. Keep in mind, Clover didn't even get a shield during their fight with Axis like they did in other timelines, so they're going to have a very rough time adapting on their first few attempts.

Clover's mind reading powers don't have much practical use here. If anything, they'd just give Undyne a buff by reminding her about what she's fighting for, making the fight even harder in the long term. On the other hand, Undyne's boisterous personality and tendency to be defiant to the end could cause the same problem. Any taunts about mankind being brought to justice or her jeering last words in the Genocide Route risk making Clover even stronger through sheer force of rage like Axis did, something Undyne can't risk.

That said, Clover has a lot more ways to attack than Frisk did, with several projectiles that could help wear down Undyne's durability, much as they did against a Determination boosted Martlet. And with free access to SAVE and LOAD, Clover's going to have as many tries as they need to bring down Undyne's bulky defenses.

Which brings us to the real deciding factor here. Who has more Determination? Or rather, can Undyne override Clover's Save and Load powers.

I don't believe that Clover, even in the Genocide route, has the same raw amount of Determination that Frisk just naturally has. Willing their soul back together or resurrecting Chara as their narrator through sheer determination are just feats that Clover hasn't replicated even at their best. Could Undyne in her Undying form override their Save File?

Likely... no. Firstly, Undyne doesn't seem to know that Save Files are even a thing, whereas Clover very much did when they overrode Flowey's saves. Secondly, we've never seen Determination amped Monsters use Determination like this. Only humans and soulless beings like Flowey. Given that Undyne, as powerful as she is, will eventually start melting from how incompatible her body is with Determination, it's entirely possible that she simply can't use Determination like this even without having to override the power from someone else. She's simply too incompatible with it.

Make no mistake, Undyne will put up one hell of a fight before going down. This is still Undyne we're talking about here. But with infinite retries, well... Clover's victory in inevitable.

This Throwdown's Winner is...

Clover!

[viviannesmonster]

GLITZ AND GLAMOR

Mettaton X Female! Reader

An Undertale Fanfiction

[Lights! Camera! Action!]

When falling into the underground after chasing your dog up the mountain, you find yourself in a strange new world full of strange new creatures. Will you ever get out? And what friends will you make along the way?

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

soon to be released

[epersonae]

The cooking project - Crêpes

If yesterday's post was probably one of my most-made recipe cards, this might be my most-made recipe in my binder, which is sort of a Binder of Theseus. My sister made me a binder full of typed-out recipes as a gift when I was a sophomore in college, and I still have the section separators, which were collages of images cut from magazines, and I have some (most? all?) of those typed recipes, though the binder itself has been replaced. And of course I've added many more recipes, printed from the internet or sent to me by email or clipped from magazines. (I had a subscription to Sunset for a while in the late 00s!)

This recipe, though, was copied from a webpage into probably a Word document and then printed out, and dates from March 15 2003. The URL in the image no longer works, but the contents can be found in the Wayback Machine (ctrl+f, "crepes"). It was posted as part of the author's "French Week" as sort of an oblique protest of the impending Iraq War. In any case, I have been making it since then.

Because this can be found in the Wayback Machine, and because the instructions are hilariously long, I am not going to retype the whole thing here.

My only personal notations are combining "whole wheat flour" and "white flour" into a single line (I've literally never made these as savory crepes in 20 years), and a note that 1 egg approximately equals 3 crepes.

Making the batter

One of the things I love about this recipe is that it scales really well: one egg to 1/4 cup flour. The sugar ratio is weird and I usually have to do a rough approximation, because 1/4 cup sugar is 4 tablespoons, but also it's a very forgiving recipe that way.

I have learned over the years to beat the eggs first and THEN add the flour/sugar/salt, much less lumps that way. (ironically, 20 years and I just noticed he never says when to add the salt, altho clearly it's with the flour)

I have literally no idea how much milk I use. I mix in a bit at a time until it looks like the right texture/color. It's all vibes, baby.

I don't think I've ever let it sit two whole hours but it definitely does change texture a bit, for the better, if left to sit at least a half an hour. (I have also never drunk a glass of red wine while waiting for the batter.)

Below is: just after mixing in the flour/sugar/salt, then after some milk, all the milk, and after sitting for idk half an hour? 45 minutes?

Jam! Eating while making!

As I said, I've literally never made them savory, altho the last time I had them with a little bit of local whipped goat cheese and strawberry jam, and that was FUCKING TIGHT.

My usual is to take out whatever jams I have (today: strawberry and raspberry freezer jam that I made in 2020 and 2021 respectively, quince jam that a friend made, and marmalade) and just alternate flavors as I make them. I usually end up eating some while I'm making them. (As the guy says, bachelor mode™️.)

Two eggs' worth did in fact make about six crepes, I think, which is kind of a lot for dessert but I guess I had dessert for dinner, it's fine.

(Oh, and I think I've tried flipping them without a spatula exactly once, I am just not that bold.)

In any case, this continues to be one of my favorite recipes of all time, I will make it for anyone at any time for any reason. (The longest stretch I ever went without making it was after Ryn died, and I finally had eggs and milk and enough energy...and found BUGS IN MY FLOUR and about lost my damn mind. But I have made them a couple of times since then.)

Fanfiction bonus content!

So if you are reading my fic for the benefit of all the broken hearts, and you have already read chapter 16, then you know why I posted this today. If you are reading it and have not yet read the new chapter, consider this a teaser.

If you are not reading it: for the benefit of all the broken hearts is a fix-it fic for Water Flowing Underground, a very strange beautiful fic that blurs the line between Actor AU and RPF, that plays with questions of identity and choice and intention and also what we are even doing with fanfiction. My fic picks up from the end of that fic, from the point of view of a character who is dismissed by the narrative of the original, and who finds a way out of the wreckage. (it's the weirdest goddamn thing I've ever written, and yes, I think that includes the Bigfoot fic, and also I think my best writing ever. Certainly the most work I've ever put into any writing in any medium.)

And also there are crepes.

[wrongroadbuddy]

The world from a child's eye

(part1)

Undertoday AU

Part2

[probably-ace-ok]

Unusual or Unique Crossovers

A small collection of fanfictions that either crossover pieces of media that are completely different, or does so in an interesting and unique way. Many are unfinished or seemingly abandoned, but I think they’re worth checking out anyway.

stand in the ashes (ask the ghosts)

My Hero Academia/Mass Effect

Izuku transported to Mass Effect universe before meeting All Might, gets adopted by Shepard. In progress.

Ghost's space adventures.

Hollow Knight/Mass Effect

Ghost gets sent to the Mass Effect universe and is pretty OP. Complete.

Diamond in the Rough

Steven Universe/Worm

Post-Future Steven gets transported to the grimdark superpower setting of Worm. In progress.

Child of the Sun (or, The Return of the Avatar)

Star Wars/Avatar: The Last Airbender

The Force stops working normally, and everyone who uses it becomes a bender instead. The Jedi Council does not approve. In progress.

Tilly Death Do Us Part

Double Life SMP/Attack on Titan

Minecraft players get accidentally sent into Attack on Titan… but can still use the Minecraft mechanics. In progress.

A Tale of Spirits

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles/Avatar: The Last Airbender

The turtles get send into the AtLA world and are mistaken for spirits due to their appearances and abilities. In progress.

see you in the dark

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K./Worm

Saiki gets sent to Brockton Bay and complains about not being in a comedy show anymore. In progress but hasn’t updated since 2021.

Stacked Deck (Or, Colin Wallis vs. Single Parenting)

Persona 4/Worm

Armsmaster has to deal with his brothers wife’s nephew being suddenly dumped on him. Yu has to deal with his uncle being a humanoid cactus. Also superpowers. In progress but hasn’t been updated since 2018.

Pray For the Children You Lost Along the Way

Miraculous Ladybug/Silent Hill

I actually haven’t read this one, although it got into my bookmarks at some point, but I’m putting it on the list for that crossover alone. In progress but hasn’t been updated since 2019.

Magic, not materia

Final Fantasy VII/Harry Potter

Was a bit hesitant about adding a HP fic to this list, but from what I remember, this fic respects HP about as much as I do — that is to say, not at all. Cloud shows up and stabs the Basilisk during Chamber of Secrets. In progress, last updated in 2021.

Once Again

Naruto/Gravity Falls

Mabel is reincarnated as Sasuke Uchiha, and that’s really all you need to know. In progress, hasn’t updated since 2019.

The Addams Family Thief

Persona 5/The Addams Family

Akechi gets adopted by the Addams family and fits in quite well. Complete.

All That Glitters Must Be A Rock

Kingdom Hearts/Steven Universe

Only a crossover in the loosest sense of the word, this fic is set in a world where people from the Destiny Islands are similar to Gems. Effectively complete.

More Than One Hero

My Hero Academia/The Legend of Zelda

Bakugou is a Link, and that changes everything. In progress, hasn’t been updated since 2018.

it's dangerous to go alone

Majora’s Mask/Undertale

Link falls into the Underground and meets Chara. Oneshot.

in the shadows of history (is where we roam)

Little Nightmares/Pokémon: Legends Arceus

Six is going to kill Arceus — and possibly eat what’s left. In progress, last updated in late 2022.

Revival

Batman/Attack on Titan

Eren Yeager in Gotham, what will he do? Adopt a child and befriend the local murderous vigilante apparently. In progress.

The Wheatley Parable

Portal 2/The Stanley Parable

Wheatley feels bad about what happened with Chell, but then he gets a second chance. Things go wrong immediately. In progress, hasn’t updated since late 2022.

Teen Titans: Morph

Teen Titans (2003)/Animorphs

Earth has been invaded by mind-controlling aliens, and the Teen Titans are some of the few heroes who know about it — along with the original Animorphs of course. Also, Starfire has a secret friend. Technically unfinished but satisfying to read anyway, hasn’t updated since 2014.

The Odd Duo of Blue and Pink

Persona 5/Kirby

Kirby and Meta Knight are reincarnated as humans in the Tokyo of Persona 5. In progress, hasn’t updated since 2019.

[talesofphantombandits]

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

[iddybiddysquish]

Fate - Chapter Six

Masterlist

Plot Description: What would happen if someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder (multiple personalities; writer has DID themselves) got a god of death as another personality? Follows the plot of the anime and manga mixed including dialogue directly from the anime where appropriate. Character x cast of death note

Very minor self insert/OC that I've made into a vague reader insert that involves the reader being concerningly intertwined with Kira and his happenings against their will and seemingly against fate.

Fandom: Death Note

Gender: Female

Warnings: Dark and triggering content regarding death, suicide, mental illness and mentions of rape (character history - no rape in the story). Making out is described. Will add more as I progress the story.

Notes: Uploading early bitches! <3

Feedback is welcomed and I hope you have a good time reading!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

- December 27 -

“Fuck!” I cried, shooting out of bed and groaning as I pulled my stitches rushing out of bed whilst cursing, “I slept in till three-fucking-o’clock?! Goddamn fanfiction!” 

Slowing down, slightly, as to prevent a major bleed and a shameful hospital visit for something so stupid, I ran to the bathroom, snatching my medical kit as I went, and peed whilst swapping my bandages out with as much delicacy, and speed, as possible. As hygienic as that was.

From there I ran back into the room and threw on some appropriate clothing - turtleneck and some thick, winter leggings - before rushing to the kitchen. Noting a ‘two’ on my microwave as I passed it, I paused, a heavy frown evident as I looked back at the clock.

“Are you fucking serious…?” I groaned and complained before stomping to the kitchen, angrily, as I got my breakfast ready at a normal rate.

‘I forgot my fucking clock is an hour ahead…’ I anime cried as I ate my cereal, ‘Why is life so cruel… Better yet, why am I so cruel?’

Yesterday was the day I had most of my old stitches and all staples removed. They also noted my bullet wound was healing well and that I should be completely stitches free soon, so I was in good enough of a mood to try out the train today. 

‘Mono did an extra shift at his work this morning and it finishes in an hour.’ I noted, ‘So! Since I need to get used to the public transport, and I am desperate for a drive, I told him I’d meet him at his work and we’d both try and get the underground back instead of the bus.’ I hummed, pausing as I washed my bowl, ‘Besides, I want to get a caramel creamy cooler from Costa as a celebratory treat~!' I practically squealed at the thought.

“I never see Costa nearby.” I pouted, before fist bumping, “So this will be good, as there’s one where he's stationed this shift!”

Humming and singing to myself, I finished drying my dishes before going and collecting my things as I noted it was getting closer and closer to three o’clock. Immediately I began putting on a thicker coat, beanie and a scarf since it was especially cold out, before searching for some gloves, adding them to my attire once they were located. As soon as I left and locked my door, I immediately put my keys away and brought out my phone and put on my headphones. 

‘Fortunately, I know the route to the underground from here.’ I mused, ‘I’ve walked with Mono a few times to prepare for when today would come, so all I have to do is get my ticket and double check the platform, since Mono already told me to get the Yamanote line.’

As soon as I had arrived, I bought my ticket after showing my disabled railcard, and made my way down. However I had to pause for a moment as a huge crowd had gathered around one particular store. Frowning, I forced my way through, trying my best just to get to my line in time, only to freeze as I passed another person, my eyes wide as I saw a man had collapsed and, presumably, died as police and forensics were beginning to zip him up in a body bag and take him away.

I gulped at the sight, the horrid image of Kiichiro Osoreda being hit by a car coming back into my head.

‘I’ve seen more dead bodies in person in the last few weeks I’ve been here than in my entire life!’  I grabbed my head and shook it, forcing the memory out of my mind, ‘Maybe mama was right? This place is a death trap waiting to spring on me!’

After a few deep breaths I shook my head again and began to more roughly shove through the crowd, trying my best to get away from the corpse and towards my train, which at this point felt like a finish line towards safety and comfort. I felt a tear fall as I saw the door open and ran immediately into it and took a seat in front and adjacent to the open doors, breathing heavily.

Immediately I began to focus on my breathing as the train filled up and began to move. I sighed with relief, feeling appropriately far away and counting from the drama I was far too unprepared for today.

Gulping I immediately brought my mask up and over my face to lock in the warmth and give me comfort, taking in my mothers perfume I occasionally spray on clothing and my childhood teddy bear for that exact reason. Taking a deep breath I sighed with relief, panic beginning to slowly drain from my body, and my senses coming back to me.

It was then I gasped in realisation and immediately messaged Mono.

Me: Someone died in the underground station by our flats.

Me: They were taking him away when I got there, but I saw his face.

Me: He looked like he died in pain… 

I gulped, a tear slipping out of my eye at the memory. I sniffled, wiping the tear away aggressively as the realisation that anyone around me could be a criminal dawned upon me. 

‘In all of my years, this is the only time I’ve personally seen someone die.’ I bit my lip, ‘Baring that in mind, at the moment, it’s unlikely that he wasn’t killed by Kira.’

As soon as my phone buzzed, I dived on it, looking for comfort. Even if it wasn’t coming from direct touch, I was desperate for any form of human connection that this would easily suffice, especially knowing I would be seeing, and feel, him in a few hours.

Mono: Jesus Christ I’m so sorry, Ai.

Mono: Are you okay? How are you coping?

Mono: Did you go home? It’s okay if you did.

Mono: In fact I think it might be best for you to not continue and make the journey alone.

I let out a breath as I swallowed, immediately looking around before typing back.

Me: I’m on the train. Should be with you in an hour and a half ish.

Me: I’m okay. I’m coming, still. I want to. I need the break.

Me: If I went home I’d just be stewing in my own thoughts with nothing to do, anyway. Should try and continue with my life with some semblance of normalcy, right? Or else what’s happening will just eat us all up alive.

As I sent the last message I jumped in surprise as my own phone buzzed, Mono having responded clearly before reading my messages.

Mono: Sorry brb. Call.

I sighed, but nodded, even though he couldn’t see it. It was then I looked up and took in my surroundings slightly, becoming bored as nothing terribly interesting stuck out. Pouting, I looked ahead and over to my left, pausing when I saw a man on his laptop, speaking into a walkie-talkie as discreetly as possible. I immediately looked away, but kept an eye on him from the corner of my eyes, curious and bemused by his frantic writing. It was then I noted an envelope and shrugged, figuring he was doing some odd work, though I felt a weird sense of déjà vu the more I looked at him.

‘Have I seen him somewhere before-?’

Mono: Back.

Mono: How far away are you?

I smiled before letting out a puff of air. As I checked my watch I relaxed back into my seat more, crossing my legs as I did.

Me: About an hour and 20ish?

Me: Got on about 20 minutes ago.

Me: How’s work?

And the conversation continued from there for the remainder of the journey. Though I wanted to daydream and just listen to music instead, there was no chance I was getting that luxury until the way back, where I had him as a safety blanket sitting next to me. 

As the doors opened, I saw the strange man ahead of me rise first, so I waited for him to finish before I, too, would get up to leave. However I paused when he put an envelope on the luggage rack and made his way out of the train. 

Like the idiot I was, I was staring at the envelope with confusion, until, from the corner of my eyes, the man collapsed before me. I froze up for a split second, confused. However I quickly snapped myself out of it and immediately ran out of the train before the doors could close, shoving past some guy in a hoodie and beanie, and went to the man, who was clutching at his chest for dear life. 

I quickly realised he was having a heart attack as he fell onto his stomach and began to reach towards the train, desperately. Any attempt I made to turn him over so I could try and start chest compressions, as I had been taught years ago, failed and I found myself struggling against the force generated from this man’s instincts. 

As he fought against me, I felt deep concern and almost fear for this man’s life, but allowed my gaze to follow his hand. However all I saw was a blur of grey, black and orange inside the window of the grey and green train, leaving me baffled and concerned.

I shook my head roughly.

‘It doesn’t matter right now.’ I resolved, ‘I can go back over this later; this man, however, has no time for me to be thinking about it right now!’ 

As the man began to go limp, I sprung into action, forcibly shoving him over with as much strength as I could muster. The motion was heavy enough I felt some of my remaining stitches complain, but I ignored it. I had finally got him onto his back and I immediately began chest compressions.

“One…” I breathed, forcing my entire weight into the heels of my hands whilst also trying my best not to rip my stitches, I pushed, again and again and again.

“... seventeen…” I looked around frantically as I noted people watching and recording. But no one was calling an ambulance. 

“Oi!” I snarled at one of the girls who was recording, “You! Yeah, you!” I glared, “Call a fucking ambulance you fucking moron!” 

The girl immediately fumbled with her phone, shocked by my outburst, but did as requested whilst I shook my head.

‘If I didn’t specify her to do it, no one would have done it.’ my glare hardened, ‘Humans suck.’

I could vaguely make out what she was saying on the phone, and only relinquish my interest once I noted she hadn’t said anything stupid. That being said, I couldn’t pay complete attention as I was and needed to be completely focused on making sure his airways were open as I tilted his head back and lifted his chin slightly. 

“... thirty!” with that I covered his nose and took a deep breath before blowing into his lungs twice, before going back to compressions.

‘It’s a heart attack!’ I noted, ‘Which suggests Kira.’

“... nine…!” I breathed heavily, my body getting weak and sore under the demand, but I kept going strong.

‘Either way - criminal or not - he’s not dying on me!’

After a few more counts my brow began to form a sweat and I, again, I gave mouth-to-mouth twice with deep breaths, before moving back to the chest compressions, pushing his blazer away further. However I found myself taking in a deep breath as his ID fell out of his pocket and opened, showing the man’s FBI ID.

‘Raye Penber…’ I frowned, though as the dots connected in my mind, my eyes snapped open, wide, my actions floundering for a split second under the shock wave that just went through my body.

‘It’s him…!’ I gulped, ‘The man from the bus! The FBI agent and the other man who stayed with me up to the ambulance!’ I shook my head, feeling a tear fall down my cheek and onto the man’s shirt, visibly staining it. 

‘No… he doesn’t deserve this!’ I shook my head violently, ‘Raye! I’m not going to let you die! I will bring you back from Kira’s control!

‘Kira…’ I snarled, ‘I will find you!’

It was then that I felt hands on my shoulder. However, not caring who it was, I shook my head and shoved the hands off me roughly with my shoulder as I leaned back over Raye, not allowing my hands to leave his chest as I continued compressions. 

“You can’t die on me! You need to fight against Kira!” I panted, my full attention back on the chest compressions as a new found energy spread through me, “You hear me, Raye?!” I cried, my compressions getting rougher and harder, as though that might make any difference to the situation.

I desperately pumped, tears forming and falling as I began to cry. It was then, presumably, whomever had tapped me before, came into view. I didn’t look, but could tell from the corner of my eyes that it was a police officer. I shook my head at him as he rested his hand on my shoulder as another police officer came over and took his pulse on his neck. I immediately wiped away my tears and snot before taking a deep breath and giving him mouth-to-mouth again, twice, hiccuping as I attempted to go back to chest compressions. However, the police officer took this opportunity to try and interject, putting his arm around my front, gently, as he tried to lead me away. I shook my head violently.

“No!” I begged, “Please! He can’t just die like this!” I heard a light sigh from the police officer ahead of me, who appeared to be giving me a sympathetic look, but I couldn’t tell through my tear-soaked glasses. 

As I tried to go back to the compressions, the police officer’s grip tightened, attempting to, again, gently pull me back. Of course, I fought, but at this point I hardly had the energy to contend with him, as it slowly dawned on me that he had been dead since I rolled him over. 

I hiccupped and sniffed as I attempted to stop the tears, feeling embarrassed, scared and out of it, especially as the paramedics came, almost immediately checking for heart activity with presumably some form of cardiac monitor. As they began to remove their device, that’s when I gave in, because I knew that meant he was completely gone.

I couldn’t help the new wave of tears and unregulated sniffles and cries that came from me when I noted that they were pronouncing his time of death. However, I allowed the policeman to pull me away from the body, crawling back alongside him as he did, before slumping, all energy having left me as I attempted to take deep breaths, mentally and physically exhausted. 

The policeman stayed crouched by me, though he moved ahead of me as he attempted to hide the body with his own, apologising as he did. I couldn’t really make out his words, but after a few minutes I concluded that he was beginning to try and get a response from me. 

As the police officer was called to the side by the second police officer from earlier, I lost control. 

“Sorry…” I noted that the police heard me and turned to look at me, “I need to get out of here.” Shaking my head, I rose up and ran as fast as I could towards the exit, shoving through the crowd roughly and unapologetically, as I made my way towards the closest thing I had to home at that moment: Mono, who was at his work. The police officers were startled by this and called after me, however I was certain they didn’t follow. 

‘After all, they themselves were sure it was a Kira incident, so what’s the point in stopping the only person who tried to save him?’ I shook my head, ‘It isn’t Kira. It can’t be. I must just be seeing things! Like that time in the London underground! When I saw all those people who kept trying to smother me!’ I nodded, tears making it hard to see, though my pace never slowed.

I don’t know how long it took me to get to Mono and I don’t remember the journey well, if at all. However, I do vaguely remember falling into the station and collapsing as Mono was coming back from presumably another call. I remember him sliding to my side and helping me up as he pulled me into the back and began to comfort me, rocking me in a cuddle whilst saying things I couldn’t hear over my own breathing and heartbeat. 

At some point we left and got the bus instead of the train, making our two hour journey back to our flats. I know I put music on, but anything I recall feels like light and airy, silent stills that had been put together so poorly that the images jerk, some missing altogether and others lingering for longer.

‘Delayed and stuttering meets frozen and stuck.’

I don’t remember much else. Apparently Mono learnt what happened partially by call from the other PCs as well as some from me whilst we were on the bus and after we arrived home, though this is completely blank for me. He stated I had regressed into my child-like state and once he told me to go to bed, I did. 

Right now, I’ve just woken up from my ‘nap’ and am staring at the ceiling in a slight daze. My head felt completely void of thoughts, though I tried so desperately to think; my head rarely ever this empty and when it is, it’s hardly a good sign.

It was dark outside by the time I was able to move at all. From there it took somewhere between a few minutes to a few hours for me to actively sit up in my bed. As I did, I noted that my backpack was right next to me, on the right. 

Without thought, I immediately opened it and brought out the white book full of ideas. And I began to read.

Or space out. Depends on your definition.

A lot of the words felt alien, some making my head hurt from thinking too hard as I attempted to remember it. Of course, I recognised all of them, though they felt as common as my communication with my distant cousins - that is to say, not.

Despite not quite feeling right, I had a deep urge to write down what happened today. Everything I could remember. Everything I thought leading up till right now. 

So I did. I wrote and wrote till I felt satisfied. Now I wasn’t just empty, but also complete. 

It was then I felt grateful that the complete feeling overtook the empty, and I was able to rest peacefully for the remainder of the night.

[amberss]

Kiribaku Fic Recs

hey guys! I'm obsessed with this ship, as it's noticeable if you go to my blog haha, so i decided to make a fic rec list for them 💚 it'll be continuously updated as I read more! hope u like it!

Edit: since now I have another rec list too, I'm gonna link it here. This is a list of my personal recs, and it's also being updated 🐝

[this list is sorted by the amount of words. tell me if this doesn't work]

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• More than 50k •

quote love unquote by @newamsterdame

When Kirishima Eijirou's band hits the big time, he's not prepared for his newfound fame. He's even less prepared to meet the actor he's been crushing on for years, or to start dating him as a publicity stunt. The closer Kirishima gets to Bakugou Katsuki, the more he realizes he's in over his head. But it's hard to stop, once his heart is in it.

Rated: T, Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Words: 135,781

Moment of Truth by Fanficsmything

A fanfiction based on the 2009 movie The Proposal that turned into its own storyline and lovingly stuffed full of cliches.

Rated: M, Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Words: 104,611

Coffee Cups and Cigarette Butts by RedRiotsScar

Bakugou Katsuki has always wanted to be a lawyer. He’s going to be the best lawyer in Japan, but first, he has to be the best law student. He’s out to prove himself, especially to the red haired idiot who called him a dick on the first day of law school.

Or KiriBaku law school AU!

Rated: M, Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Words: 102,612

2 A.M by cityboys

Caught between cities, phone calls and shifts he didn't sign up for, Katsuki finds that he doesn't travel light as well as he thought.

Rated: T, Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Words: 67,432

Kirishima goes to a quiet seaside town to take care of his grandmother after she has a bad fall. There he meets Bakugou Katsuki and falls in love.

A Secret Admirer by KiriBakuHappiness

Bakugou Katsuki has a secret admirer and the class of 1-A is desperate to figure out who it could possibly be.

Rated: T, Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Words: 60,915

Tonight, We're the Sea by @itsthegameilike

Rated: M, Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Words: 60,715

Lying, Still by @uncomfortabun

So, when his mother sets him up on a blind date with a weirdly bubbly girl with pink hair and dark eyes, he thinks he’s just about had it – and he’s not too shy to tell the girl just that.

To his surprise, though, she wholeheartedly agrees, and they come up with a plan, which works out pretty well until they are faced with a new problem; Mina’s childhood friend, Kirishima Eijirou.

Rated: M, Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Words: 52,793

.

• 25k to 50k •

(Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder) FALSE by dragontrappedinhumanskin

When Bakugo and Kirishima get hit by a quirk that forces them to literally stick together or face the less then desirable consequences, how the fuck is Bakugo supposed to keep his crush hidden?!

Well, turns out he never needed to.

Rated: T, Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Words: 46,121

the fools rush by @chonideno

Or how Bakugou and Kirishima find a way to call each other “home” and struggle with the realization that once all their bills are on auto-pay, the only thing they still have to deal with is this pit full of feelings they have ignored for too long.

Rated: T, Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Words: 40,714

Lazarus by drifting_manatee

Katsuki Bakugou wakes up buried six feet underground, blindsided and trapped by a faceless villain. His quirk has been rendered useless, and his only tools for escape are a faulty cell phone and his own perseverance. With time running out, he is forced to confront not only his increasingly futile odds for survival but the rising tide of feelings he's kept buried all these years.

Rated: T, Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Words: 35,463

The Way We Love by i_write_shakespeare_not_disney

Or: I listened to a song and I ended up falling into the get together- break up- get back together trope that I kept complaining about

Rated: T, Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Words: 32,614

the fuel to your flame by sascake

He’s saved from Bakugou biting a chunk out of his arm at the ding from the phone. The three of them turn back to the screen, where ‘You have a Match!’ is emblazoned across it.

Rated: E, Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Words: 29,603

slow it down (go easy on me) by @newamsterdame

When a confrontation with a villain throws Bakugou through time, he's forced to face a future he never imagined, and maybe something he can't leave behind.

Rated: T, Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Words: 26,930

cotton candy hands by @chonideno

A series of soft vignettes in which a love-struck Kirishima and a touch-starved Bakugou care for each other and it's definitely not making their hearts jump through hoops, they’re never this close to kissing, no, they're totally best friends bro

Rated: T, Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Words: 26,107

.

• 15k to 25k •

ghosts beneath ink wash stars by cityboys

Eijirou's evolution from Bakugou's delivery boy to kind of, possibly, someone to come home to.

Rated: T, Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Words: 18,820

when a rock and a hard place love each other very much... by shizuumi151

Kaminari ends up as the middleman and can't do anything about it. But for the sake of courage, true love, and his sanity, he has to.

Rated: T, Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Words: 16,463

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• 10k to 15k •

houdini by @chonideno

Kirishima gets stuck in a closet with Bakugou for the sake of a stupid game, and it's fine, it's only seven minutes, what's the worst that could happen.

Rated: T, Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Words: 14,142

The Best Medicine by chezka

Or, Kirishima sees Bakugou laughing, and his world shakes with it.

Rated: G, Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Words: 13,842

felix by @chonideno

the cat is a ball of reddish brown fur and unabashed cockiness, and he purrs his way into bakugou's list of living things he likes to have around, bringing a +1 with him

or how bakugou meets his neighbor, and everything sharp and pointy starts looking soft and squishy

Rated: T, Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Words: 11,967

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• 5k to 10k •

the inherent eroticism of the sea by @chonideno

the new crew member is loud, confident and capable, and the ends of his hair curl like he's been in salt water. he feels like the sea, and bakugou loves the sea

or how the ship's engineer falls for the rookie

Rated: M, Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Words: 7,227

Tug by @uncomfortabun

Kirishima Eijiro is getting used to life in the dorms with his classmates, which is only made harder with his neighbor being the only person who can make his heart stutter insanely.

Rated: NR, Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Words: 6,763

Till Death Do Us Apart by codename_bewareofthefangirl

“I, Kirishima Eijirou, the Red Dragon, offer you my utmost loyalty and my humble life. I will stand by your side and protect you till the day death do us apart.”

Bakugou could recall everything.

But all he was left with were haunting memories and an empty heart.

Rated: NR, Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, Words: 6,727

watching you fall in love. (watching you be loved) by pxningfo0L

5 times Mitsuki saw her son fall in love, and the one time she knew someone loved him back.

Rated: M, Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Words: 5,135

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• 1k to 5k •

what we deserve by @aloera

“Never have I ever met my soulmate,” Uraraka says. Drunk Katsuki takes a sip and the room goes silent.

Or Katuki's timer goes off at USJ. Eijirou's does not.

Rated: T, Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Words: 4,490

to have and to hold by @aloera

In which Kirishima talks about his husband constantly and the most his coworkers know about the mystery guy is that Bakugou absolutely hates him.

Rated: T, Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Words: 4,548

what I mean by @uncomfortabun

Bakugou and Kirishima are hanging out like always, and Bakugou decides to finally take a chance.

Rated: G, Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Words: 3,162

morpheus by @chonideno

5 times they fell asleep around each other and 1 time they didn't

or their step-by-step progress to waking up to each other

Rated: G, Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Words: 2,643

Bite by Moment_of_Tangency

“So,” Kaminari says, idly sipping his juice. “Alpha on alpha. What’s that like?”

Eijirou doesn’t look up from where he’s staring across the room, watching the back of Bakugou’s neck as he makes his way through the lunch line. “It’s a battle of wills.”

Rated: E, Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Words: 2,599