#admin is sleeping and will post in discord when she wakes

[coastalhq]

hi students,

i hope you’re all settling into your dorms and starting to feel at home here at coastal! building a strong community is so important to us, and what better way to do that than by having a little fun and getting to know each other?

this week, we’re kicking things off with a simple, fun icebreaker activity! this is an easy chance to connect with students across the dorms, whether they’re new faces or old friends. the goal is to have fun, share a little about yourself, and maybe learn something surprising about others.

happy asking and answering, everyone. 😊

cheers, ms. lucy tran dorm living coordinator

[ admin note: there's no timelimit on answering asks, just be inclusive and have fun. numbers/questions to send are under the read more and will be posted in the discord server too ]

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

3. The person you would never want to meet?

4. What is your favorite word?

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

7. What shirt are you wearing?

8. What do you label yourself as?

9. Bright room or dark room?

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

12. Who told you they loved you last?

13. Your worst enemy?

14. What is your current desktop picture?

15. Do you like someone?

16. The last song you listened to?

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? 

29. What is your favorite expletive?

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

34. What was your last dream about?

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

38. What is the color of your socks?

39. What type of music do you like?

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

43. Do you have any scars?

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

46. Are you reliable?

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

48. Do you hold grudges?

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

51. Are you a good liar?

52. How long could you go without talking?

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

56. What do you like on your toast?

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

58. What would be you dream car?

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

64. What do you think about babies?

credit here.

[mikalara-dracula]

Hello! I was wondering if I could get HC's about which Disney Princess the Sakamaki brothers would fall in love with. (Hope you're having a wonderful day as well!)

Which Disney Princess would the Sakamakis + Kino fall in love with?

Warning: 18+ content below; don't read if you're a minor and aren't comfortable with slight NSFW and the concept of tattoos. This is a fictional work and should not be taken seriously.

Caution: Unfortunately, Tumblr has a history of admins quarreling over completing carbon copy asks due to users sending the same request(s) to multiple admins, thus, resulting in unintentional plagiarism. With this, please DO NOT send the same request to multiple blogs as it can cause unintended plagiarism discord to other blogs across Tumblr. The word “plagiarism” stems from the early 17th-century Latin word, “plagiarius,” meaning “kidnapper.” So please, do not send in the same request to multiple blogs and make admins appear to be “kidnapping” other people’s work when it isn’t their intention. If this is to occur with any of my posts, please contact me so we can work something out.

Hi there, Anon!

Thank you so much for requesting! Sorry about the wait. Hope you enjoy reading it. Feel free to request again anytime. :)

Shu would so be into Sleeping Beauty. I mean, she exhibits a trait he loves most--sleeping! If he was Prince Phillip, he wouldn't kiss her to wake her up, he'd just crawl into bed next to her and call it a day. I suppose that's as far as rescuing goes for him lmao.

Reiji would mostly stick be into the classics such as Cinderella or Belle. They both provide this charm that Reiji can't explain. Their softly colored gowns make heads turn, their soft but sharp features--oh yeah, they're calling our bae Rei alright.

Laito would be into either Jasmine or Ariel, mostly because of their free spirits and their rebellion towards the norm of marriages in their cultures. Laito loves this trait in a girl, so these two would definitely be his type. Plus, considering they're not wearing the common poufy princess dresses and show their midriffs, he's definitely sold.

Snow White is Kanato's weakness. The girl has got the most porcelain-like features it's crazy, and we all know how much Kanato's into that. She also possesses a lot of soft aesthetics that he's into as well. Plus, the whole cottage-core vibe this girl has goin' on, it's more than enough to make him yearn for her.

Hmm... Ayato would be into several princesses--Elena of Avalor, Moana, Phocohantus, and Rapunzel. These women scream adventure and he's into this. A girl he can rendezvous with is definitely his type.

For Subaru, it's Merida. She's definitely not the typical princess and that's what makes her so interesting to him. Her rebellion, fighting for what she wants, and always learning from a previous perspective are things he admires in a girl and finds attractive.

Bonus! (Figured I'd include Kino as well)

Kino has the same taste as Ayato regarding princesses, but has a minor thing for our favorite ice queen, Elsa. He fights over Elena with Ayato all the time and claims he could make all of those princesses fall for him. As if lmao xDD

[skyeet-the-writer]

The Love Among Us

Chapter 1-- I’d Never Snitch On Daddy

so i haven’t seen many corpse husband x reader stories on here, so i decided to upload one myself. i’ve been watching jacksepticeye’s among us videos and when i heard corpse talk for the first time, i was like, “hol up” and now i’ve been obsessed with him. also, go stream his music on spotify, it’s amazing. enjoy! x. 

 corpse husband x female!reader

summary: while playing among us, y/n watches corpse kill felix in o2. when his body is reported, however, she doesn’t tell who killed him. 

 word count: ~3.6k

warnings: swearing, mentions of death (not real death), mentions of murder (not real murder)

EDIT: before i wrote this and after i published it, i did not know that corpse did not like to be referred to as “daddy”. had i known this, i would have not even thought of posting this. and since i know now, i won’t refer to him as such in the future. thank you. (10/19/2020)

EDIT 2: this is the first part to my corpse x reader series. i will be adding chapters as we go!

next>

4 rounds before the incident

“I was in coms with PJ!” Sean exclaims. 

“He is doing the liar voice!” Felix shouts with a laugh. 

“I’m not,” Sean tries to say, but everyone talks over him and the voting time ends. Everyone left alive, though it was only four people, had all voted for him and he yells at them as he gets ejected. 

stinky was not the imposter

2 imposters remain

The round ends and everyone unmutes themselves. 

“Lizzie, you saw Felix kill me and you did nothing!” Roomie yells as soon as the round ends and the imposters are revealed. 

“Yeah, because I was the other imposter.”

“Oh. Okay, well that makes sense.”

Everyone laughs and Ken starts the round again. 

“Wait, can I invite y/n to play? She’s doing her twenty-four-hour stream and she just finished playing Monopoly with Mark, Bob, and Wade,” says Lizzie, looking down at her phone as they all appear back in the waiting room. 

“Yes,” Corpse blurts out and there are a few laughs and chuckles. 

“You were quick to answer, Corpse,” Sean teases. 

“Shut up,” Corpse mumbles and there are even more laughs. 

Lizzie smiles and taps into her phone. “I’m gonna invite her.”

~

“I can’t believe that you actually made that deal, y/n,” Wade is telling you after ending the second round of Monopoly that you’ve played with them. 

You smile and cross your legs on your chair. “Look, I was going bankrupt and it seemed good at the time. Besides, Mark was going to win anyway, he owned half of the board.” Your phone buzzes beside you on your desk and you pick it up. “Lizzie texted me.” There’s a sound effect that plays in your headset and you look up at your screen and smile. “Thanks to _lorieplays _for donating a hundred dollars, that means a lot. Thank you so much.”

“Do you want to play another round?” Marks asks. 

You shake your head, reading the text from your friend in England. “No, I don’t want to lose to you again.” You laugh. “Nah, Lizzie wants me to play Among Us with her and a few others. It was fun playing with you guys.”

“It was even though you took all of my money,” Bob snaps. 

You laugh. “Yeah, yeah. See you guys later.”

“Bye,” says Mark.

“See y--” Wade begins but you cut him off when you disconnect from the call. 

“Oops.” You put a hand over your mouth and laugh. “Sorry, Wade. Okay.” You straighten up and glance over everything, making sure it’s all working properly. “I have to pee and I think my roommate ordered pizza, so we’ll be back after this short break. Enjoy this live feed of my pet rats.” You giggle and switch the stream over to a view of your two rats in their cage where you have a camera set up. You take your headset off and head out of your recording room. 

Every two months, you have a twenty-four-hour livestream where you play games with your friends from all around the world. Despite being only twenty-five, your Youtube channel had grown exponentially in the past three years and you’ve had the chance to meet lots of other Youtubers like Markiplier, PewDiePie, and your close friend, LDShadowLady. 

Currently, you’re on hour twenty of twenty-four and you’re beginning to feel the effects of not sleeping for a whole day. You had been drinking coffee and energy drinks for the past four hours and that seemed to perk you up for two hours max. But your roommate had ordered pizza and that would hopefully wake you up. 

After going to the bathroom and grabbing an entire box of pizza, you return to your recording room and sit down. You put your headset back on and eat a slice of pizza before switching the views back to you. “And we’re back. I hope you guys enjoyed my rats because I don’t. They keep me up at night.”

You read a comment while loading up Among Us and laugh. “No, they’re not dead. They’re sleeping. They do that a lot when they’re not fighting.” 

When you finally get into the game and entire the code, you spawn in. You also quickly join the Discord chat and wince when nearly ten voices hit you at once. 

“y/n!” exclaims Lizzie and the other voices die down for a moment before rising to greet you. 

You wince again but laugh. “Jesus, you guys are loud. Hey, Lizzie.” You move your character to the customize tab and go to try and switch your color. But then you frown and realize that you’re stuck with being dark blue. “Damn, I wanted to be white.”

“Do you want to switch?” Corpse asks. 

Your eyes widen you your stomach flips. You hadn’t noticed Corpse was in this game. Immediately, your chat became flooded with keyboard smashing and lots of “omg my shipp” and “y/n rlly said ‘anna oop-’” 

“Uh, yeah, if you don’t mind,” you manage to stutter out and take a bite of pizza as Corpse’s player comes over and the white option becomes available. You select it and also select the goggles in the hats menu. 

“How’s your stream going?” asks Sean. 

You shrug. “Pretty good. I’m super tired, though. I literally almost fell asleep while playing Monopoly with Mark, Wade, and Bob.”

“You went to college, right?” You’re pretty sure that’s Roomie. 

“Yep,” you affirm with a nod even though they can’t see you. “You’d think that those all-nighters writing papers and studying for finals would make me able to do this.”

There’s a laugh in the group and the round starts.

3 rounds before the incident

You scratch your eyebrow and sigh in relief when you’re the crewmate. You mute yourself and slide up in your chair. 

“I like being the crewmate,” you say, heading towards admin as a habit. “It’s a lot less stressful than being imposter.”

After doing your tasks in admin and fueling the engines, you stumble across a dead body in the lower engine and a vent closing. 

“Oh,” you say, and press the report button. You unmute yourself and begin with, “So I saw a vent close but I didn’t see who went in.”

“Who died?” asks Lizzie. 

“Felix,” says Sean. 

You smirk. “It’s always yellow that dies first.”

“Where was the body?” Ken asks. 

“Lower engine,” you reply. 

“I was in medbay with Corpse doing the scan so it wasn’t him,” PJ says and Corpse makes a noise of confirmation. 

This makes your cheeks heat up and you smack a hand over your mouth. Your chat explodes again but you decide to ignore it. 

“And I was doing wires in cafeteria,” Lizzie says. 

“Sean, where were you?” 

“I was in reactor doing the simon says thing,” he answers. 

You sigh. “I hate that one. What about you, Ken?”

“I was with Roomie in electrical doing the power thing. You know, the one where you have to divert it somewhere else.”

“So do we skip then?” asks Lizzie. 

“No one is super sus, so I’m going to skip,” you answer. 

When no one is ejected, you mute yourself again. “I dunno why, but Sean seems pretty sus. Because I didn’t see him on the way down from upper engine. But I guess he could have gotten there in time.” You shrug and run over to the trash chute in the cafeteria. “RIP to Felix, though.”

After doing the trash there, you head down to storage, running into Corpse doing the wires in there. You wait there to clear him and once you do, you run a few circles around him to get his attention and he follows you over to the trash in storage and watches you do that. After that, the two of you head over to electric together and do wires there. 

Suddenly, there’s a body reported and you unmute yourself. 

“Sean just killed Lizzie in front of me!” exclaims PJ. 

“PJ killed Lizzie,” Sean retorts, flipping the blame. “I watched it, he didn’t realize I was there and murdered her.”

“I watched PJ do the scan in medbay, he’s cleared,” Corpse says and you find yourself smiling for no reason. “Sean, you killed Lizzie.”

“I knew he was sus,” you say, grabbing another piece of pizza. You look at the box and your eyes widen. Had you really already eaten half of it?

“Wait wait, how am I sus?” Sean asks. 

You take a moment to swallow. “Because when I was doing fuel earlier, I was running down from upper engine and didn’t see you in reactor. Sure, maybe you could have gotten there earlier, but it was super weird.” 

The discussion time ends and PJ immediately goes to vote for Sean as well as you, Corpse, and everyone else still alive. Sean ends up getting ejected. 

stinky was an imposter 

1 imposter remains

“You’re such a detective, y/n,” Sean says when he gets ejected. 

You laugh. “I just play this game too much.” You then mute yourself and smile. “I am a genius.” 

You end up finishing your tasks quickly after that and then stand in the cafeteria and eat another piece of pizza and read some of the chat. 

“’ What am I going to do after this?’ I don’t know. I might play some Minecraft. Should I have a poll on Twitter? I’m stuck between public Among Us games, Minecraft, and taking random quizzes on Buzzfeed.” You smile and hear another sound effect and something pops up on the screen. “Thank you to coochie man for donating a hundred dollars, that means a lot.” You laugh at their name. “I love your name, by the way.” 

There’s some rattling in the cage behind you and you turn around to see one of your rats drinking water. You turn back to the chat and read another comment. “’ Do you have a crush on Corpse?’” You blush and smile, biting your lip. “I mean, his voice is hot. I’ve never met him since he lives in San Diego and I live in h/t, but yeah, I guess I do. I’ve been listening to his music for the past few days and it’s really good, you guys should go check it out.”

You look up and unmute yourself when a body is reported. “Who died?” you ask. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Are you already done with your tasks, y/n?” Corpse asks. 

God, even the way he says your name is making you blush. “Yeah, I get them done quick.”

“She does that,” says Lizzie, “She always gets her tasks done quick.”

“Ken is dead by the way,” says Roomie and your snort, smacking a hand over your mouth. “I found him in the hallway by navigation. Where was everyone else?”

“I was in cafeteria doing nothing,” you say, leaning back in your chair and spinning around just a little. “I think I saw PJ downloading while I was in there, but I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Yeah, I was downloading,” says Ken. 

After more discussion, Corpse points out that Jaiden had been following him and it looked like she had been faking tasks. 

“No I haven’t,” she says. 

“That sounds like something the imposter would say,” you hum with a smirk. “That’s pretty sus, Jaiden.”

Everyone else agrees and you all end up voting Jaiden out. 

jaiden was the imposter

0 imposters remain

You cheer as the round ends and a blue victory screen pops up for the crewmates. “Good game, guys,” you say and play again, waiting for the host. 

~

1 round before the incident 

“Oh my god, I’m imposter again?” you groan and sigh when you spawn back in. “I was just imposter, I don’t want to be it again. I’m so bad at it,”

After another short round of you and Felix losing to the crewmates, you all agreed to play two more rounds before Sean had to leave. So you move your character to admin where PJ is and fake the card swipe before moving over to the admin security thing where you could see who was around where. Luckily, no one appeared to be near admin, so you quickly kill PJ and escape through the vent and come out through medbay. 

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” you whisper over and over, running down to storage. “That was clean.” You fake getting fuel and go back up to the upper engine. 

When PJ’s body is reported, you see that your fellow imposter, Sean, had reported it. You stay silent for most of the round and only say that you were in the fuel area when it was reported. 

“Yeah, I saw her run past electrical earlier,” Corpse says. You blush and glance at your exploding chat and shake your head. 

After everyone skips the round, you mute yourself once more and head towards navigation. “I hate this.” You drag the last syllable and watch Lizzie enter the room. You wait a moment before walking towards her and killing her, jumping into one of the vents. You let out a sigh and flex your fingers. “I’m so stressed.” You exit out of the vent into shields and your heart stops when you see someone else in there but you realize that it’s the other imposter, Sean, and you relax. 

You run past him and go to the trash compartments and pretend to unload those. And that’s how the rest of the round goes. You kill someone, someone reports it and you vote someone off. Eventually, you and Sean do a double kill and end up winning the round.

You unmute yourself. 

“Let’s go!” Sean exclaims and you smile. 

“I can’t believe you killed me, y/n!” shouts Lizzie. “I thought we were friends.”

You laugh. “There are no friends in this game. I’m not loyal to anyone in this game. You could be my best friend and I would fucking murder you.”

“That’s cold,” says Roomie as everyone else spawns back in. 

“Yeah,” you nod. 

“Wait, PJ disconnected,” says Sean, and you all end up waiting for him to rejoin. 

In that time, you look at your chat and say, “Hey, do you guys have any questions for who I’m playing with. I’m asking you, chat.”

“I swear if someone asks about my hands, I’m leaving,” Corpse says and everyone laughs. 

You laugh louder when you read a comment and read it aloud, “_Ironlady _says that you should be a hand model, Corpse.”

“Okay, I’m leaving,” you hear Corpse say over everyone laughing. 

“No, stay!” you exclaim, trying not to laugh. “C’mon, don’t leave.”

He sighs deeply and your brain goes fuzzy. “Fine. I’ll stay for you.”

You beam and your tummy turns. You ignore the whistles and remarks from everyone else and stand beside Corpse. You suddenly wish that the little bean characters could hold hands. 

When PJ joins the server again, Ken starts the round and you cross your fingers, hoping to get crewmate. 

0 rounds before the incident

You mute yourself and sigh when you’re a crewmate. “Thank god.” You let out a breath and go over to admin with everyone else. You swipe your card and go to the cafeteria to do some wires there. 

The game turns out to be rather uneventful. A few people die and two people are voted off before the game gets truly interesting. And that happens when you walk in on Corpse and Felix. 

“I’ve had this song stuck in my head for days,” you’re saying, walking from electrical over to O2. “And I can’t get it out of my head. Maybe singing it will help.” You hum the first part. “Don't go in there, you'll become one. Freaky creatures, monster party. Eyes of yellow, scales and feathers, tails in tethers. Turn the lights off. Bend the nightmare, you control it. Artful dodger, easy does it. Shut the closet, get under the covers. Snakes and lovers. Turn the lights off.” You do a little dance for a moment and continue hum the song, glancing at the chat as you go towards O2 after doing wires in storage. 

“Like, I know the song, it’s just been stuck in my head,” you explain. “And it kind of annoys me--”

But you stop as you enter O2 and watch Corpse murder Felix. Neither one of you move and you don’t know what to do. “Uhhh.” 

Then, without thinking, you turn straight around and make your way away from the scene of the murder. “I didn’t see anything!” you shout to no one. “I suddenly can’t see who murdered Felix.” You smack a hand over your mouth and stand in the middle of a hallway. “Oh my god, what do I do? I don’t want to snitch on Corpse, he’s hot.” You scratch the back of your neck and shrug, continuing on to reactor. “I didn’t see anything.”

You’re in the middle of doing the simon says in reactor when Felix’s body is reported. You unmute yourself and fidget with the sleeve of your hoodie. You know exactly who killed Felix. 

“--was in O2,” says Jaiden and you focus back into the conversation. “And I didn’t see anyone around.”

“I saw you heading that way, y/n, but I know it wasn’t you because I saw you do the trash in storage.”

You look at the screen when Sean talks to you and you chew your lip. “I know who killed Felix.”

“Who?” asks almost everyone at the same time. 

You close your eyes and swallow. It’s just a game, why are you taking this so seriously? Suddenly, a song lyric pops into your head and your stomach flips. You imagine yourself saying it and no one knows who you mean except for him. 

You open your eyes. “I’d never snitch on daddy.”

There’s a laugh in the chat and you blush fiercely, your livestream chat blowing up once again.

“I think we know who it is, then,” says Sean, laughing. 

“Yeah,” agrees Lizzie and your eyes widen. 

“Wait, what?” you ask, watching everyone vote almost as soon as the discussion time ends. “Wait, hang on, who--”

“We know who you’re talking about, y/n,” PJ tells you. 

You vote for yourself and your brain goes blank as you see that everyone voted for Corpse. He even voted for himself. They knew. They all _knew _about your feelings for Corpse. 

The round ends with Corpse being voted out and the crewmates win. There’s some talking, but you stay on the victory screen. You’re trying to decide if your mad or embarrassed or both. 

“I didn’t know you’d say that, y/n,” Corpse says, effectively breaking you out of your trance. “I thought you were gonna snitch on me.”

“You heard her,” teases Lizzie and you can tell she’s grinning. “She’d never snitch on you, Corpse.”

He laughs and you feel something in a certain place. “Oh my god, I’m gonna die of embarrassment.” You put your face in your hands, listening to your friends tease you in the chat. You suddenly want to jump out your window and run into traffic. 

“Don’t die,” comes Corpse’s voice through the onslaught of teasing. “I’ll be sad.”

“Fuck!” you shout and slam your hand on your desk, shaking your equipment and scaring your rats. “I’m so sorry, Corpse, that was really weird, I--”

“Stop.” He interrupts you and the chat goes silent and you look up at the screen even though you can’t see him. “It’s okay. It was funny.”

Your eyes widen and then narrow. Funny? He thought what you said was funny? How could he think it was funny?

But then he speaks again and he sounds oddly flustered. “Uh, I gotta go. Um, it was fun playing with you guys. Bye, y/n.”

“Bye Cor--” but then he disconnects and you’re left talking to no one. “--pse.”

There’s a long moment of silence until Felix breaks it. “I can’t believe you just watched me die and didn’t do anything about it.”

There are some laughs and you smile faintly, rejoining the game. “Yeah, uh, sorry about that.”

“Are you okay, y/n?” asks Lizzie. 

You blush and swallow. “I don’t know. God, I’m so weird.” You run a hand through your hair and adjust your headphones

“No, you’re not,” Roomie assures you. “He has a crush on you, too.”

Your eyes widen and you scoot up in your chair. “He does?”

“I mean, he called you pretty once during a game and said that he watches your videos a lot, so maybe.”

You groan and sink in your chair. “I’m gonna go, I need to run into traffic now.”

A few people laugh or chuckle and Lizzie asks you if you’re actually going to leave. 

“Yeah,” you tell her. “But not to run into traffic. I’m going to go play Minecraft to soothe myself.”

“Aw.” You can practically hear her frown. “Okay. Bye, y/n.”

“Good luck with your stream,” Ken tells you. 

You grin. “Okay, thanks, bye.”

When you exit the game and leave the chat, you scream. You actually scream and it’s loud. Your roommate even knocks on your door, asking if you’re okay. 

You look at them and nod. “Yeah, totally fine. Probably about to have a mental breakdown, but I’m fine.”

“Okay,” they say and lean on the doorframe. “But I’m not cutting bangs for you again.”

You laugh and nod. “Yeah, okay, fine.” They leave and you turn back to your stream, feeling like you’re about to cry. Corpse knows you have a crush on him. And it seems like he has one on you as well, but now you’re embarrassed because you called him ‘daddy’ on stream.

You rub your eyes. “Well, now I know what’ll be streaming on Twitter tonight,” you tell the chat. 

[magik-leaf-blog]

A long vent post

Hi guys, it’s me, AO, and this year has been quite the shit show for me.I don’t feel well enough to properly tag any triggers, so there’s a general trigger warning, so if there’s a subject you aren’t comfortable with, you’ll know not to bother looking. The reason I’m posting this to my main and not my vent blog is because I’m tired of not feeling like I can tell people how I feel, so instead of going to a vent channel, or rambling to myself or to one person, I’m going to post it for everyone to see.

Before you click that read more link, I want you to know that I’m generally an emotional person, even if I don’t come off as so, so all of this has deeply impacted me, some parts may just come off to you as whining over spilt milk, but I tend to take things to heart, I can’t help it.

Okay I’m gonna try and keep things sorted so it’s easier to read, so forgive me if it reads weird.

This year has just been hell and back for me, with general stress and family drama. My parents are looking into a divorce, and honestly, I hope they do because god bless my dad for putting up with such a horrible person. Ever since my dad allowed for his cousin to stay with us for a weekend, it’s been nothing but bitching and false accusations from my mom, ranging from my dad being a manwhore who sleeps with every woman he looks at, to being an incest pedophile. It’s taken a vast emotional and physical toll on him. I’m scared for him because he basically told me that me and my brother were the only reason he was staying alive. I don’t want to wake up one day and my dad having killed himself. That woman has worn him down to the point that he doesn’t even want a funeral, just to be buried. My mom is generally not a good person. I don’t feel safe showing when she’s in the house because she’ll just barge in on me and bitch when I ask her to leave so that I can atleast get dressed. I know she was raised to think that’s okay, but she has almost no respect for my modesty. Not to mention that she’s verbally and physically abusive, yelling every morning and hurling things. She’s also ruined all of my brother’s friendships by accusing our dad of sleeping with the friends’ mothers, we think she may have called a few of them too. She constantly compares my to my dad, even when saying so in a loving manner, that doesn’t matter when she only shit talks the man. She’s brainwashed my brother into thinking that my dad is a horrible person and as a result has no discipline whatsoever as mom is never home, and when she is, if she isn’t dictating what the family is doing, she’s having a screaming match with my brother.

Now to change the subject from family life.

In general, I see a lot of people venting, and their situations are worse than mine, so I never feel like I have a right to vent without it being a burden.

So there’s been some bumps and bruises with my time  on Discord. Most of the stress there was lingering after a good friend of mine lent their discord to one of their buddies, and said buddy proceeded to block me and all the friend’s mutuals. I have to draw attention to the fact that this was done so without so much as a warning, and I knew this friend was struggling with depression, so my first thought was that they had committed suicide or were getting ready to do so. Luckily I found out that they weren't and were doing fine. I’m still getting over the stress from that time, and some things that came up add to that stress. I’m an emotional person, I see someone hurting and I want to help, but I don’t know how to help them and end up sidelined, which adds on a considerable amount of stress as I honestly don’t how to be happy on my own. Among the recent issues, I was in a Discord server, and I was friends with one of the admins, or at least I thought I was. Long story short, she couldn’t be bothered to talk to me in private about things I did that made her uncomfortable, she didn’t start voicing her objections till just recently, and by then, we’d been RPing for a little over a year and a half, so I expected her to feel fine with privately telling me when I made her uncomfortable, but she didn’t. Instead, when I’d join in on the public chat and I said something she didn’t like or approve of, she’d antagonize me (she might not have known she was doing it, and I was going to talk to her about this, but I could never bring myself to fully confront her thanks to the first time I voice MY objections to her) what made her comments worse was that as soon as she posted them, people would immediately flock behind her in support. I felt singled out because she wasn’t doing this to anyone else except me, I felt like people saw me as an absolute freak because of that. Because of her, I wasn’t comfortable talking in a public chat room when she was present. It hurt when she did that, it felt like she was antagonizing me when I meant no ill will. She even publicly objected to what I wrote, where at least 20 people could see it at any time. I was getting ready to talk to her, in private, but a friend of mine drew some nice artwork for me, and I was so happy I showed it off in the public chatroom, but almost immediately she made an incredibly hateful comment, she talked about how she ‘disliked --- ocs” (it sounds petty I know, but they way she worded it felt rude and disrespectful, hell she doesn’t even know the person who drew the art.) and then went on to complain about how and what I write, which I would’ve been fine with had she not made the comment against my friend’s artwork. After that, I had to leave the server, she’d become such an unpleasant person to talk to and by then I’d given up on mustering up the patience and courage to talk to her. She even managed to ruin several characters I enjoyed, more so one in particular , although this is an incredibly lesser offence then the rest of what I said. I thought she was my friend, but now I feel betrayed.

Right now, I’m just wondering why I’m even still alive, I feel like I’m nothing but a bother to people, even when I’m trying not to be one. I have these voices I hear that keep telling me to do horrible things to myself and no matter what I do to drown them out, they always come back and louder than before. I’m so stressed, I don’t what to do.

I’m so sorry if this is long, but I honestly don’t think I’d last much longer holding all of this in. It’ll take a long time before all of this stress and heartache dies down, so please bare with me and thank you to those who’ve put up with me thus far and those who’ll come by and see this and still follow and interact with me.

[aquaace]

I am so happy!!!

Last night I saw Ethan's post about a Discord voice chat and I got to talk to him!!!!!! Like usually my anxiety just screws me over like "Hey, I know someone REALLY important to you basically straight up handed you an opportunity to talk to them but fuck you, don't talk to them because not only are you a fuck up, you will fuck everything up and leave a bad impression" and usually I'm like "ha, yeah prolly" and avoid it but!!!!!! I did it!?!?!?! And not only am I really proud of myself but I got to talk to Ethan!!!! I joined the chat with the intention just to listen to it but in a moment of courage I turned my mike on. I was in the first chat so we talked to him for a while before he went through the whole chat so he could talk with everyone. Everyone was roasting him (he took it like a champ) and then we all talked about prom (though low key I was internally sighing because I will never go to a highschool dance because Band has consumed my life and we always have a competition during them). I felt really young because everyone had already gone through prom or was in college and I'm sitting there like "yo, I'm a sophomore and apparenttly the smolest bean, a'ight" An admin eventually was like "I love you all but we need to get this show on the road babes" and we were like "right right that's chill" so Ethan's like "I'm just gonna go down the list" So I go to look at the list to see who's first and then guess who's​ at the fucking top? Ye, it was ya girl. Ya girl freaked the fuck out. Internally of course because my mike was still on. But like the hand that wasn't holding my phone just flailed and I kept hitting my sister so that she would wake up and we could both talk to him (she didn't btw, she kicked me in her sleep) and then he said my username (pronouncing it right, kudos bro) and I froze. And it was weird because even with my anxiety, I have that neat gift of always knowing what to say but everything I wanted to say just flew the coop. My voice did the thing it does when I get nervous where it gets high and soft which greatly differ from my relatively low voice which made me more nervous because ???voice???why???what are you doing??? why you betray me like dis??? On the bright side it's apparently pleasant to listen to but it was still nerve wracking because I'm not used to it. He was so nice!!! And super sweet!! I was able to thank him for helping me through some stuff and I mentioned probably not being able to meet him (I come from a not pleasant area in a small town area none the less. There's barely enough money around to survive and no one really gets anywhere here. Not even my parents who left this place when they were young could fully leave. They met in a completely different state and still ended up back here. And even though everyone keeps telling me I've got what it takes to leave and make something of my life, and thats if I go the safe route of going to college and becoming a lawyer or something, I don't know if I ever will become something because the route I want to take is pretty dangerous) and he refused my pessimism and said "Oh, we'll meet some day. Don't say never, okay? I would love to meet you." because of course he could make me smile and give me hope. It's just what he does, ya know? And it just revived all those "meet my heros" dreams I had killed off for the sake of saving hope. Because I just talked to Ethan fucking Nestor, someone I look up to dearly for this exact reason. Because hope just radiates off him like sunshine. And if I got the chance to actually talk to him, why wouldn't I be able to meet him? I've felt pretty hopeless lately so it's nice to have all my dreams up in the air again. Thanks man. So to summarize this huge ramble: - I am the anxious - I found the courage - Band consumes life - I am the smol - I freaked™ - I taLKeD tO EthAn!! - I'm broke af™ - I revived my dreams - I'm eternal thank - All done at 3am - woot and bless Thanks @crankgameplays, I hope to meet you in the future and thank you in person.