#ahahaha I'm in trouble

[jtownraindancer]

I'm going to kill you now.

There's nothin' you can say or do about that.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

there's a guy on tiktok called Suavexavier who has two doberman dogs who behave wildly different and they're so...double trouble au coded it's insane

I took a quick look and OHMYFUCKINGGODD

This video IS the double trouble au 🥲

[queenharumiura]

For your game: How about 5986 as pairing? ;3 (Hi, I've been a sucker for them ever since I know khr)

[My KHR ship game] ||Accepting|| @alexandraxsuoh Note: This is me just talking. I'm not even talking about RP. ((Thank you for indulging me btw!))

Readmore bc yuh.

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Hate it | Am Neutral to it | Ship it | love it! |

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Even if it's sort of a lie to say, this was my 'first' KHR ship! Tsuna x Haru doesn't count because the anime lied to me. I was led astray.

I've mentioned it in older meme replies in the past, but the reason why I adore 5986 so much is because I did lil baby cosplays of Haru many eons ago (i'd rather die before posting the pics here) and one of my friends who got me into KHR cosplayed as Gokudera. She happened to like 5986 so I was the Haru to her Gokudera ekekek.

That friend won't see it, so kekek I can admit here that I did have a crush on said friend years ago ahahahahaha

Back on topic.

Aside from the nostalgic appeal, I do really like the ship in general. There are different ways of looking at a character, but this game is just about how I see the character on the basis of if they were to ship with Haru. In essence I’m just having fun, no Gokudera mun attacky me please. Yes yes? Good good.

The appeal of a Gokudera and Haru ship is… I’d say, in the ‘gap moe’ kind of vibe you get. Gokudera and Haru are both intelligent characters, but one of them is not so emotionally intelligent. Admittedly, Haru isn’t very emotionally intelligent either you could argue with the way that she, for the life of her, couldn’t see that Tsuna didn’t like her. HOWEVER, I like to assert that Haru did know. She just wanted to keep trying and hope that her efforts would bear fruit.

I get this from the one character song of hers and it kills me because she be like ‘I’m okay with being a shadow woman’. THE HELL YOU WILL! GO IN THE CORNER!

So, I think that if a 5986 ship was going to happen, it really is Haru realizing things first and Gokudera being late to the party because emotionally dumbass onion over here. Why onion? He’s a dude with a lot of layers, ofc! He’s outwardly a grouch, and has violent tendencies, but we’ve also seen him be able to be polite (ie Tsuna or Reborn). He can be rude to girls, but he’s never actually caused any physical harm to them, that shows a level of restraint.

Secondly, we know that he’s a more logical minded person whereas Haru is more emotionally minded, but she’s still got a logical side to her as well. One thing that I like about Haru is that no matter how much she likes/loves a person, the moment they touch upon a moral bomb, she will be willing to drop them like a sack of potatoes. Here is where the logical side also comes through, where she will not act in a burst of emotions at first. She will at least go and investigate. Did this person actually touch upon the moral bomb? Was there a reason for their actions?

I do like to think that some of this was influenced by the fact that she straight up smacked the hell out of Tsuna (twice, I think?) for him ‘teaching Reborn-chan’ how to play Mafia. Kekek. Turns out it was the opposite. I like to think that from that she’s learned- okay stop reacting so emotionally and investigate.

Gokudera is very logical minded where he just looks at the facts, but he’s also got a strong emotional component to him as well. That’s how he mirrors Haru. She’s emotional but also logical on the downlow. He’s very logical but also very emotionally charged as well. I like that they mirror each other. He is smart, he cares for logistics, he cares for the facts, but even with all that- he is loyal to what he likes. He doesn’t care if Tsuna is a dame-Tsuna. He doesn’t care if his boss isn’t smart- he can be smart for them. It doesn’t matter if Tsuna isn’t very charismatic, or that he isn’t very sociable.

It doesn’t matter to him how the majority may see his boss because HE sees his boss for what he is and what he could be. He has confidence that his boss will pull through. His boss will show the deniers where they are wrong.

In this way, Haru and Gokudera balance each other well. When she starts getting too emotional (ie her dramatics) he can bring her back to reality. He can calm her down with the logics. Being the more emotionally intelligent one, she can notice when he’s overworking himself, trying to do too much on his own, demeaning himself as lesser/unimportant/etc, she can and WILL snap him out of that. She will actively do her best to have him see the opposite.

He IS important, he has a place with the Vongola, he is wanted. She is a very caring person and would look out for him. Make sure that he takes care of himself, or she’ll do it for him. In a way, it’s one of those classic cases of how a guy who hasn’t had many to care for him in his life suddenly has someone who cares. It’s weird at first, foreign and almost scary- but it’s also nice? It’s comforting, he finds. Slowly, comes to realize you know what? I feel something for this person and it is something I haven’t felt before. Time skip and it’s either the guy finally realizes and says something or it’s the girl who is confessing first and the guy is ????????????????

I LOVE THE TROPE, OKAY? I love self-realization but I also love DUMB ASS BOYS WHO DON’T KNOW THEIR OWN HEART AND NEEDED A CONFESSION TO SLAP REALITY INTO THEM. AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh Both are good. Very good. I like.

Haru has a competitive streak to her, and I think the fact that he’s really intelligent is a good drive for her. She’s also a really loyal person, and she’s very dedicated and motivated. So, she likes that Gokudera has the same traits as her. It’s an admirable thing.

Admittedly, she doesn’t like how he bullies Lambo. Doesn’t like how he smokes, but it can be seen in the series that he does bully Lambo less as the series goes on. You can argue that a lot of it is just roughhousing as guys do and just him not knowing how to treat young kids. From the Yamamoto scene in TYL arc where they both fight Gamma, Gokudera is quite open to criticism. He’s open to admitting where he’s wrong. He can understand and then try to fix it. It shows that he’s a progressive person who always aims for self-betterment and that is a quality that Haru would probably notice and like.

It would be something that is the reason why she is so tolerant of him. She can SEE that he is making efforts. He is trying. There are moments where he shows that he can care for others as well. He will protect anyone from the famiglia despite the dangers it poses to himself. It really shows that despite his act, he actually cares a lot more than he lets on. He may be a bit awkward to show it (that’s how Haru would see it, anyways).

From the Haru Haru interview segment, she says that she likes a guy with a dangerous charm, sometimes cool, and it’s like bro. Is that… not like the majority of the KHR cast MINUS Tsuna? AHAHAHAHAHH jk. Tsuna can fit the bill in HDW mode.

Haru also seems to exhibit the desire to be useful or to not be a burden. She likes to be there for others. She likes to help others. Gokudera seems to have the image of being a lone wolf, but it can also be seen when he’s so proactive with Tsuna that he too wants to be helpful. This likely stems from the case of him trying to prove himself as something. He wants to show the world that he could be something. That he has a place. That people want him around.

They are similar in ways, but differ largely in the motives. They’re very similar in many ways despite how they would argue otherwise. It’s the fact that they understand eachother well that Gokudera would probably know that Haru doesn’t want to talk about things in regards to her unrequited feelings for Tsuna. Let her go through all the motions herself. Don’t pity her. Just let nature take the course. I don’t see him as the type to pity her, but perhaps one to watch over her as she’s getting hurt. He would try to be there to support her.

I personally do not think he’d pity her. I, for the purpose of this game, if they were to be a ship, I think he’d feel a level of admiration of sorts to how far she was willing to go. Despite the pain and how hurt her sense of self became, she did her best. She did all that she could to appeal. She didn’t give up. It’s not an easy thing to do. That is why I don’t think he’d pity her. In the way that she’d like it, he’d turn an eye to it but still make comments because he’s just like that lol.

In the secret bullet (I think that’s what they were called) novels, there is one where at the end of it, Haru tells him the truth about the ‘curse’ or whatever and he’s like why did you tell me the truth? You could’ve kept it a secret and she was like well it’s because you’re hurt. Tsuna-san wouldn’t like it if you got hurt any more. Yeah of course it is because of the tenth and then she be like I care about you too AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AND THEN HE WENT FULL TSUNDERE!!!!!! AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT DOES TO ME!!!! He full sent tsundere like omg you idiot. IDiOTTT SHUT UP.

AHH!H!!L!L!HLKDJFLAKJSDf I WILL SMASH MY FOOT THROUGH THE DOOR LET ME BE A FLY ON THE WALL TO HAVE SEEN IT!!!!!!

I swear to GOD if he blushed at all and she saw that? Haru is a tease, I will die on this hill. She has a bit of a troll personality and she does like to be a lil sassy sometimes. I promise you, I SWEAR, she would’ve been like oho? Is he blushing? How cute!

Locked in. YOU ARE GONNA BE TEASED EVERY SO OFTEN. She loves it.

Of course, knowing who Gokudera is, he too has a bit of a competitive spirit. The moment he realizes oh? She’s teasing me to get a reaction out of me? Two can play at that. But!!!!! HARU IS WEAK TO THAT, OKAY? YOU. DON’T. UNDER.STANDDDDDDD1111111!!!!!!!!1!

I swear on my life, the day he teases her back because he got annoyed with it and she blushes??????? GAME OVER. IT’S AN OH- that’s kinda cute. WAIT. Why do I find that cute? Tease her again and she’s just alksdjflaksjdlkfajslf STOP TEASING ME!

LOOK- I’m just saying. I think he’d find it cute. So then it just becomes a game to them almost where they just keep trying to get the other to react and others just see it like bro. You say that you aren’t dating and you aren’t being serious? That’s a lie.

Haru and Gokudera are both strongly opinionated and aren’t afraid to speak their mind. The day anyone has shit to say about the other one, they are about to throw hands. You talking shit? Say hi to my friend, EAT THIS FIST. That’s the energy.

I won’t say power couple because that’s not the vibe, I don’t think, but it certainly is a ‘a couple that I didn’t think would work based off visuals but then I noticed how strong their understanding of eachother was and realized oh… they’re actually kind of perfect for each other.’ vibe. A long title, yes I know.

So ye those are my thoughts. I also said I’d maybe throw in other things that I thought would be cute, eh? Hmmmmmmm

I mean, I will die on the hill that I swear Haru will request the box animals to be let out often so they can also relax and enjoy life. Haru starting off with approaching Gokudera to see Uri as the convenient excuse to spend time with him.

IMAGINE? The day he’s just ‘Uri is a bit tired today you may want to see her another day’ and she just- ‘Oh, that’s a shame. Haru was using Uri was an excuse to spend time with you but… if you aren’t busy, can Haru spend time with you?’ LOOK. I NEED THIS AND I WANT THIS? OKAY?????? OKAY.

Just like how I need to see Haru making Gokudera fold by a lil puppy pout. Like pleaaaseeee can you put on these cat ears that I made? I want to see it. Will you really say no? PLEEAASSEE? And he always caves. I NEED IT. I NEED IT!!!!

I die for the idea that she knows where he works so she sometimes visits him just to see his face and sometimes talk to the owner of the store because she’s a networking bean. Sometimes she can stick around long enough for him to get off work and so they can walk together at night. I will cry if there is the classic jacket over shoulders deal because she looked cold. I WILL DIE!!!!!

I’ve also entertained the idea that sometimes he’d mutter things under his breath and Haru for the longest time thought he was probably complaining or saying something mean. Lambo just one day “Eh? You thought he’s saying mean things about you? He’s always saying how you’re too cute. Sometimes he says that he can’t handle how pretty your smile is’’.

BETTER YET, the alternative is that she did some studying on her own and realizes that he’s complimenting her because he didn’t have the guts to say it to her face and then one day she compliments him back. Watch as the shock dawns on him and then the horror settles in like how much did you understand before you revealed this information? Haru be like: “Oh I don’t know~ Haru doesn’t know anything about how you find her cute or that you like her smile. Haru knows nothing~”

KILL MEEEEEEEE.

Basically, they’re a very fun dynamic where I swear they could tease each other a lot and it’s almost like a game to them. I like it. Okay? Okay.

[sweetheartturtle2007]

Hihi!! I'm back again, I was wondering if you could do cg hc for Chris and Martin from Wild kratts? Agere maybe a little petre? (White tiger) Also, a tiny thing I imagine is that we would play in tiger creature power suits! And go on adventure in the tiger creature power suits!!

I've recently restarted watching wild Kratts soon you're in perfect timing! 🐾👬

They're both big brother caregivers, nobody can tell me otherwise.

They love to take you out on adventures with them, although aviva has to keep an eye out for them because of all the trouble they get themselves into.

Of course that doesn't mean that they're not responsible, you're always holding hands with Chris or martin when you're out.

They gave you a little notebook that you always bring on your adventures so that way you can write down everything you learn from animals.

Talking about books, they have gifted you lots of books about different animals from the ocean, forest, dessert, etc.

They both always carry a backpack where they have all the stuff they need for missions and they have another one where they keep all your stuff(bottles,blankies,snacks,books,toys,etc)

Chris loves to play with you, play pretend is one of his favorites but he also loves to play with your animal plushies and toys, he takes you out to play in the sun and go on search of new animals.

Whenever you and Chris come back from playing, you're both covered in dirt or mud, completely desalinated and tired from all the running and jumping you both do whenever you play.

Martin likes playing with you like that as well but he prefers to play and teach you at the same time. He gets you lots of activity books and enciclopedias. You both are always sitting at the table doing activity books, reading stories or coloring, all of that while having some delicious juice 🧃 and snacks (mostly cookies)

In the morning, one of the two Kratts is always holding your sleepy self in his arms while the other is cooking breakfast.

When aviva gave you your first power suit, they were both tearing up cause, THEY'RE SO PROUD OF YOU.

They loved when you turned into a white tiger, they immediately did the same as well and you 3 played for hours that day.

You'll be learning a lot about white tigers 🐯

The Kratts will prepare a little corner for you to play with your power suit. It's filled with toys and plushies.

Chris like to play chase with you while you're on your power suit, you'll chase him around turtle and tackle him to the ground and tickle him.

"HAHAHA m-martin h-help ! A w-white ahahaha t-tigers attacking me hahaha" he couldn't talk because of your tickling, you just kept laughing as you played with him. You do the same with Martin and the rest of the gang.

They're keeping you away from Zach of course, not only is he a bad guy, he has tried kidnapping you once.

I like to headcanon that martin and Chris can sing really well, soooo there are lots of Lullabies when you go to sleep.

Martin is kind of strict when it comes to your sleep schedule. "Look at the time lil fangs, time for bed, no no no don't give me that face, you're going to sleep." He's not mean, he just wants you to have a goodnight sleep :(

Chris sometimes lets you off, "what's so bad about missing some hours of sleep?" Yeah...he had to deal with your grumpy sleepy self the next morning and also get scolded by martin.

I also headcanon that they both like to eat healthy, so they prepare tasty and healthy meals for you.

Nicknames: martin: lil one, tiger, lil fangs Chris: squirt,lil adventurer, tiggy(tiger)

10/10 they're the best brother caregivers you could get.

Hope you liked this, sorry it took so long. Ive been kinda busy.

Here you go 🐯🙏💓

[satanicsanity]

Could you do an audio where listener forgets their jacket and it's cold and Wally being the gentlepuppet he is gives the listener his jacket and walks them home? Maybe cuteness and fluffyness ensues.

Aww that sounds adorable!! Absolutely!! Here ya are, dear! <3

‼️please go support wally's ACTUAL voice actor, @DaFrankiestein!🩷🩷🩷‼️

The art & characters used are by clown/party coffin!🩷Go support them and donate to their Kofi of you can!

Subtitles, wally speaking: Thank you for going on a date with me, Neighbor! It was lovely! Say.. Do you have a ride home? You don't, I see you're also missing a jacket! [pause] Hahaha! No worries, here, take mine! No no really! It's okay! Good, haha! I don't want my darling catching a cold~ I'll walk you home too! Don't worry, no-one can hurt you as long as I'm around! Hahaha! Ahahaha! It's really no trouble my dear, I would love to walk you home! And besides.. You look adorable in my jacket! Oh your face turns red so easily! That's adorable~ Come along now my love, We don't wanna get you home too late!

[covenantofthedeep]

but i'm right where you left me ☆

feat. | kaveh, kaeya, xiao, and ayato! summary | you're moving, but he'll wait an eon for you. - angst a/n | ahahaha i haven't written angst in so long. my ayato one is the best lowkey so i'm putting it at the top 😇😇😇

kamisato ayato |

that night, as ayato refers to it in his head, left him wounded and reeling and never wholly himself again. that night, where you had kissed him gently, too gently for the words cutting out of your mouth, and then left. that night, where you had vanished without a trace and promised you'd be back. that night, two years ago.

you had been eating a picnic dinner in front of the kamisato estate, the waves lapping at your bare feet, leaning against his shoulder. moonlight had wreathed his face in a holy glow, and a sharp pang of regret had dug itself into your ribs and stayed there. did you really have to leave? couldn't you just stay here, frozen in time, on this sandy beach, with the man you loved?

"ayato," you tell him, leaning into his ear. "i've got something to tell you."

he rests his chin against you, leaning his cheek on the crown of your head. "what is it, love?"

and suddenly you don't want to tell him, but the words are out of your mouth before you can stop them, and he draws away from you, hurt flashing in his brilliant blue eyes. he caresses your cheekbone with his finger, telling you it'll be okay, it'll be fine, you'll be back before the blink of an eye, it'll be okay.

his heart protests as he wraps ice around it, willing himself not to cry. he's not emotional; never will be. you smile at him, telling him thank you for being so understanding, telling him i love you and i'll miss you and thanking archons that he isn't upset.he nods through the rest of the night, numb and hot and cold all at once.

and then you leave, and there's a sinking pit in his stomach, because he wonders if you'll ever come back. how many years, he wonders, can he go without you until he withers up and fades away?

kaveh |

he's never been overly sappy with you, choosing instead to shower you with trips and picnics, flirtatious smiles and fancy dinners (although how he affords it, you don't know), as he's done with every other one of his lovers. he's considered himself a man of strong self-worth, never shattering when he's been dumped.

something about you, though, has him on his knees. he wants to beg and plead until you stay, cry and confess his love to you a thousand times. he's not a very emotional man; ask anyone. the pain in his eyes makes you want to stay and take his face in your hands and kiss him until he feels better, but you've got to go. a droplet of rain hits the back of your neck, making you shiver.

"i have to go. i think it'll be good for you, maybe you can branch out--" you start, but he cuts you off. he reaches for you, taking your hands in his.

"do you think i would want anyone else but you? all the days we spent together, did those mean nothing to you?" he pleads of you. wind whips your hair into your eyes, and he reaches forward and tucks it behind your ear. you've never seen him so vulnerable, and you have to leave before you can't.

and so you do, turning your back on him, leaving him standing in front of the akademiya, a dark silhouette against the cold, troubled sky.

"i'll wait for you," he calls after you. "i'll wait forever and ever until you come back."

kaeya alberich |

kaeya's never loved anyone as much as he's loved you, and between his devil-may-care exterior, and the way he won't share anything with anyone, you hadn't realized. when you tell him you're leaving, he's drops his wine glass. it shatters, and he steps over it, reaching for your arm. "no, love," he says, eyes desperately searching your face.

you swallow back a lump in your throat as you step away. "i have to go, kaeya," you tell him, tears pressing behind your eyes.

the sun highlights your body, and he thinks bitterly that you've never looked more perfect than you are now. it's the middle of the day, and you're on the balcony, his wineglass at his feet, shattered and akin to his heart.

you press your lips together to stop them from trembling and whisper, "i'll come back, kaeya. i promise."

he can't conjure up a response, instead turning away and leaning against the railings, looking down at the sidewalk below. he's tense; you want to change your mind and throw yourself at him and hug him and never let him go but.

but.

"if you're going," he says thickly, refusing to look at you, "then go."

his split heart doesn't pick itself up until many years later.

xiao |

xiao has known pain, agony so deep and gut-wrenching it doubles him over. xiao has known loneliness and sadness. he has known ecstasy--but only after he met you.

he always thought the two of you were perfect, forever a package deal, a pair. you clearly had different plans, and now his pain is back, familiar and terrifying.

"xiao," you plead, "it's not for forever."

he takes a deep breath, inhaling the petrichor air, the rich smell of the ground that you're lying on. rain pelts his face and his hands and his hair, beading on your eyelashes and concealing the tears that trickle down your cheek and into your hair.

you watch him anxiously, considering turning towards him and taking his hand until he looks at you, maybe--

"oh, my love," he says finally, turning towards you. there are so many words he could say. with you, i am happy. i am calm and safe. i can smile and laugh. with you, i am complete. he says none of these, instead opting for, "why?"

you blink away more tears, raising your arm to shield your face from his cut-glass gaze, his hurt eyes. i love you, you want to blurt. i'll always love you. but it'll hurt more, and instead, you get up and turn away. "i'll miss you, xiao," you tell him. "i'll come back."

he watches your retreating form, wondering where he went wrong. how many more years would he spend back in grayscale, without you to light up his days with splashes of aquamarine and vermillion?

[fisheito]

wanted to get my thots about mirage of scales in one place so let's go thru this thang again and see if i can ,like, feel things

(gonna list my highlights of each story section so yes, it's gonna be. long.

FIRST OF ALL, WHAT A POWERPLAY TO SHOW US THE SCALE RELIC AS EACH PART OF THE EVENT PROGRESSES ooooh i was getting so excited when the relic was clearing up but they HURT ME IN THE SECOND HALF

WHY IS IT TURNING BLUE. NO. NO DO NOT DO THIS . DO NOT !I SWEAR TO DDOG MAKE IT GO BACK *bacskspacebackspacebackspace*

then Scales-13 is sitting there all glittery and sooo pretty upon a plush purple cushion like wooow isn't that nice?? look! we made the scale so shiny and vibrant and it's got lively streams of beautiful wisps-- NO SHUT UP DON'T HSOW ME THAT 😭i'M GONNA THROW THAT THING BACK INTO THE SEA (now i'm wondering why they made the final cushion purple. i mean, yes, purple simply does not miss, and it is the most regal of hues, but also. puplelkl? kuya? he's propping up umi in his last act? hm. hmm.)()

Let's get tooo ittt

SCALES - 1

Eiden, yaku, and oli looking for recipes together = me kicking my legs and giggling, looking adoringly, eyes sparkling, soaking in the warm softness and comfort of it all, rolling around in my eternal fascination for finding new things to eat

kuya: lol u thought *(kicks down the fluff with his chunky heels* yakumo: {={pP=P=PPEOPLE EAT YOKAI MEEEAT????!??!?!! kuya: :) oli: dont be scare lil buddy it's just an outdated rumour 💦 kuya: bet u they used to eat them with forks made out of their victims' spines yakumo: {{{{SHAKING}}}}}}

I SWEAR THE MOMENT I SAW THEM INVITE OLIVINE

I KNEW LOGICALLY THAT THEY WEREN"T GONNA HAVE OLI IN THE EVENT BUT IDK MY DISBELIEF WAS SO SUSPENDED AND MY DREAMS WERE SO LOFTY THAT MY HOPE SOMEHOW SKYROCKETED AND I GOT SO EXCITED FOR OLI TO SAY YES

CURSE YOU UNSPECIFIED TEMPLE THINGS!!!! TKAING MY JOY AWAY!!!!

nvm my joy returns thanks to the hilarity of oli's referral i like to think that these two developed a mutual understanding during elysium so oli , with a respecvt for kuya, offers him up as a worthwhile companion..? alternative.lyy, oli trolling like, i don't want kuya stirring up trouble without eiden around (because the universe knows how much of a sulk he'll go thru without his fave plaything around) and the old man is just fidgeting in the corner looking so bored and jUST waITING for someone to invite him on a little trip so why don't i take initiative here ✨✨ invite him for you ✨✨✨

maybe one day i'll get a yakuyoli event11..... one... one day.......... *deflates(*

SCALES - 2

surprised that peepaw endured an entire boat journey without setting the thing on fire. my headcanon that he gets seasick or whatever is shot down. alas. he CAN stand on a boat and not vomit all over the poopdeck. my jokes are in shambles. fine. maybe he got better after all his boat trips with huey. you win this time, foxyboy......

once again, my stupid little optimism was sOOOOOO glad to have the village chief interrupt the villagers hostility to be like "heeeyyy it's ok.... we're not used to strangers but we should let these guys help with the ceremony" i went, oh!!! maybe the elder is indeed wiser than the masses!! and he'll help talk sense into these xenophobic ppl!! ahahaha. oh, me. naive as the snake....... anywa.y.

eiden, i love you for being such an excellent mediator. you speak for the shy but easily shutdown-able yaku and the "first resort: burn it down" lavender diva. thank you for existing, and being here, and knowing words. lov e u. mwah.

SCALES - 3 i ahte these villagers but i love their fabricular gifts unto us (the event outfits) amen. thanks. brb getting yakumo that light rainproof jacket that he will surely need because he's cold all the time probably .

i am now of the belief that not ALL the vilalgers were pure megadouches. some of them had the foresight to offer *just the right* fits for the three of them. Or maybe they just grabbed 3 vaguely-similar-sized outfits and threw them at eiden, who then got to choose which one kuya/yakumo wore ..... what if it ended up switched and kuya got the fish bikini abnd yakumo got the fluttery deity gear? ...gonna think about that for a while.

SCALES - 4 once again, i was delusional when i thought that kuya was the one to jump into the water to save the kid. inhuman speed? yeah sure kuya can do that! saving a child? uhh,, maybe kuya would do that... if there were no witnesses? saving a human child? uhhhhhhhhhhh ok maybe not kuya why did i even think it would be kuya. he's got his fancy threads on (that eiden might have handpicked) . no way is he getting those wet

it's cvuzz i didn't expect THEIIS THIS!!!!!!

BRO WHAT YALL NEVE R MAKE NPCs LIKE THIS by which i mean this guy is protagonist coded and yall have only been making neutral-to-evil NPCs with a few exceptions lik.e. water consul. l(whispers: love u) so now you're presenting me with NPC, who has a FACE, and FEATURES, and just SAVED A RANDOM CHILD, AND HE'S BEAUTIFUL? ofdmgidrefgsjidokrdglsjrdhgsoliioldjeiuirhedkjsda let me stare at him please can i add you to my collection i promise i'll give u only the qualityest of feed. what do u want. bloodworms? live snails? fresh crab? I'll fight those crabs for you. i'll pick their finicky flesh from their carapace. whatever you want i'll get it for you

i'll never tire of this, btw. eiden, who is just a guy, trying his best to be approachable and nonintimidating with gorgeous dudes decorating him like a wreath. it's fine. everything's normal. no need to be alarmed, hydrodynamic stranger

and for the second time this event, yakumo's yokai sense tingles and kuya offers a (patronising?) "GOOD FOR YOOOOUUUUU guess you're not completely human-washed after all"

SCALES - 5 girl, what?

for a solid minute i thopught we got ourselves into another cult situation like, lining yakumo and eiden up for human sacfirice or smth. toss em into an active volcano style i just thought PLEASE SIR NOT THIS AGAIN WE CANNOT LET YAKUMO BECOME A CULT MAGNET HE'S GOT ENOUGH TRAUMA FROM THAT

....then they end up just putting their hands on the fish scale to make a wish and i feel a bit of relief that this isn't going into maiden sacrifice territory

THE SCREAM I SMERCEAMT

IT"S HAPEPPPNIGNINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG THE SCALES ARE OUTTTTTTT NO WAY YOU GONNA PUT KUYA AND YAKUMO IN AN EVENT TOGETHER AND NOT TOUCH ON THEIR ANIMAL SIDES I WOULD RIOT YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THEY BETTER ALSO TOUCH ON THIS IN THE INTIMACY ROOMS YOU CAN'T JUST CREATE A SPRITE FOR THAT AND NOT USE IT OUTSIDE THE STORY I'M ONTO YALL YOU'RE GONNA COME THROUGH I JUST KNOW IT YESSAAAHSHSHSHHHH o wait yakumo's in pain and the villageres are about to berserk ok focus stop projecting into the whateer we gotta FOCUS ahahahaha look at em scramble around all scared of scaly yakumo

no. go back to being panic. no brazen. do not eene cen THINK o fit

[[they surround yakuei]] NOT THIS AHGTIJT AGAIN oh thank heavens ok at least the village chief is semi reasonable . not immediate bloodshed. we're fine. probably.

SCALES - 6 eiden: yakumo!! how are you feeling!! that relic really messed you up, huh? yakumo: getting away from it helped. my skin's back to normal me: 😒tsk.

and of course kuya is not going to be a convenient plot device and HELP YOU out of a situation. no. he's gonna lounge in a tree somewhere and watch umi be a Very Good Lad and sneak you out of house arrest. dreamy sigh. thank you magic jailbreaker umi!!!!!!

and all it took was umi acknowledging yakumo's existence for me to hop back on the yakubicycle ring the bell dingding!!! all aboard!!!! UMI GET ON !!WE GOT A BOY TO GRIND INTO DUST *slaps a helmet on him* *makes my YakUmi dolls touch tails*

and of course

kuya switching between "ok little one i'm about to give you the schooling of a lifetime because CLEARLY you don't understand how this savage world works" and "oohhhh how could i, a humble little fox of generic stature and lineage, possibly measure up to the greatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgrandchild of the Biggest Snake Ever? oh nooooo. i'm but a widdle boy. don't look to me for answers :3" sassy little......

SCALES - 7 yakumo: what,, what if we all just hugged and held hands with the humans??? umi: 😔 kuya: lol nah get a load of this *turns on the projector so that horrifying visions of the past play on the walls* eiden, yakumo, umi: 😨😨😨 MY FISH FRIENDS! NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -> had to lie down for several moments after this section. dude.... the massacre... the one-sidedness... th savagery o f those indigenous to the island... euuuuuuuggrrrhhhhhhhhhhrhrhhrgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *holds a tiny umi in my palm* WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO... WHEN YOUR LIFE EXPERIENCE IS AT ODDS WITH HISTORY... WHEN YOU LIVED FOR SO LONG PROTECTING THE DESCENDANTS OF PEOPLE WHO DID THIS TO UR ANCESTORS... WHO MAY NOT HAVE COMMITTED THE CRIMES THEMSELVES BUT THEY DON'T ... do they try to atone for it? did they learn from it? does it matter?? jdoSJDAUDAWKDJAWWLAWWOPAEWAEPORL:FKS

oh frick story is happening wait recalibrating

villagers: THEY'VE COME FOR OUR BLOOD yakumo: (visibly shaking) i don't hate humans!! i... i've never wanted to hurt humans! please, we may be different, but-- kuya: (smiling while the storm rages around him)

me: steadily inching toward kuya in terms of "i agree with this one i'm kinda excited to see yall suffer"

>!>!>!>>!??!?!?!?!??! YAKUMO??? WHAT R YOU DOING??? DID YOU JUST MAKE A GIANT SHIELD?!?!?!?!?!?!? BABY BOY WHAT IS WITH YOU AND THE SHIELD.S. YOU ARE SUCH A SHIELDER. DIDN'T YOU DO THIS RECENTLY IN THE STORY WITH BERSERKER OLI? OHHHhh, i'm so proud of you you couldn't have done this 2 years ago!! you've come so far in terms of essence control and you're always using it to protect people you're doing so good and i-- CLIFF HANGER??!??!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!

a moment to breathe, if you (i) please. a moment to consider: what does yakumo's shield technique look like? hm/ / . more on that later.

SCALES - 8

WAHT IOSWRONG WITH YOU!!! DUMBASSES!!!!!! no, not dumahzsss. estupido. gonk. IDIOTA

YEAH!FILL THEIR LUNGS WITH SOUR GUMMIES, EIDEN

WHAT IS WRORNG WITH YOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

THESE ppl are so incredibly stupid that i cannot even fathom............ this boy is saving yalls asses with a giant shield (tbh, if he can make such a giant shield he could have chosen to make a smaller bubble shield or smth that only saved eiden/kuya/umi . but he consciously chose to protect ALL of u)

YAKUMO MAY HAVE MERCY ON YOU BUT I WON'T *clambers over the giant wave with my supersoaker full of piss and who-knows-what-else-concoction*

SCALES - 9 imaginging umi sneaking into the lighthouse at night to feed the fish scale his lil blood drips like a pet a pet thats keeping all these ungrateful humans alive

umi: um. why is it doing that. *points to village chief kneeling befor ehim* kuya: what did i mcfkin tell you. humans suck eiden: hella yakumo: my worl d is crashing down was mmy life a lie can humans and yokai really coexist with each other ? yes of course they have to be able to there's no way that humans are evil and to doom them would be too cruel-, adn yet how will the complicated history between umi's ancestors and- umi: i'm not sure how i can help kuya: i mean it's totally your choice. what does it matter to me ? you can do wahetevr you want and ultimately, it's not like any of our opinions matter because nature will reclaim us as it so forcefully reclaims all. why fuss over such trivial decisions when we are but pawns of fate. but yeah. killing them sounds pretty peachy right now ngl

SCALES - 10

you are too nice umi the paths that require the least amount of effort from you will let the villagers wipe themselves out

the fact that kuya is willing to drop the origins of the relic and how to potentially make a new one?? i guess he's not being such a hermit crab about info... so he's being generous in his own way by sharing knowledge... and umi can make an informed decision.

i gotta say that i was mini-spoiled on this part of the story, compeltely by accident on someone else's part... there were multiple tumblr ppl posting about their reactions to the story and going "IF UMI DIES I'M GONNA BE SO ANGRY" and i, living in a lala ideal world of my own, had never even CONSIDERED that a possibility but once i read other's fears about that potential future i was like NOOOOOOOOO AND NOW THEY'RE GIVING UMI AN OPTION *LIKE THIS* OH NO OH NO OH NO THEY'RE REALLY GONNA DO IT THEY'R EACTUALLY GONNA KILL A NICE NPC WHY WOULD YOU BLESS ME WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL FISH AND TAKE HIM AWAY FOR SOMETHING AS STUPID AS A PROMISE OR WHATEVER

SCALES - 11 cheering, whooping, hollering as kuya sets the village chief on fire

umi: i;'ll protect these humans with my own blood because i loved one centuries ago yakumo: humans have been kind to me so i'll protect them from a tsunami even when they're threatening my life kuya: idiots. babies. sentimental little fetus yokai. let me bring some consequences back to ur actions mr greedy wretch of a human *starts turning SUPERPURPLE*

hOL Y SHIgha kuya let him go? i was prepared to see some new bbq on umi's floor.. surprising........................... not as vengeful as i thought, kuya.... or rather i guess your senpai senses are tingling and you're ultimately leaving this business up to umi cuz, really, this IS umi's business and not kuya's 😞

SCALES - 12

sigh... yeah... you're right, eiden.... i need you to inject some Good Sense back into my violent tendencies... biggersigh... i would have loved to doom those villagers to sopping wet destruction but... right, right umi's lived for a long time... and eiden's crew have only known him for this TINY window on that timeline... we dont know him.. we dont know his life ☹ we AREN'T in a position to interfere with his decision...

*slams fist on the desk again* GOAWDH, UMI, WHAT WAS SO HECKIN SMPECIAL ABOUT THAT DUDE YOU KNEW THAT YOU'D GO THIS FAR FOR HIM??? UGH THIS POOR LONELY GAY FISH I'M so anGYYYYYYYY 😫😭😭😭😭😭😭 *watching umi fade into the white screen* this is stupid my chest hurts 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

SCALES - 13

SCREAMS BEAUTIFUL FSIIH *POINTS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BLUE GREEN SCALES!!!!!!!!!!! UMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII YOU'R EFISH AGAIN??? REINCARNATED? RESET? CYCLE ANEW? kuyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i hope you used your bonkers godmode gamebreaker powers to somehow scrape the barrel of umi DNA and remake him or like; f;just;;; idk reset the clock on him even tho you don't approve of his decision

GAAAAHHHHHHHH this event!!! suffering!!!!!! suffering ana dammdbiguity!!!!!!! no giggles!!!! only existential crises and racism and reminding us of the different lifespans of humans vs yokai and now i bet all the frreaifsjsekles long-lived boys on my screen right now (yakumo and kuya) are gonna have to make some decisisons about how to deal with their incoming grief about EiDen leaving this plane of existence well before theyre ready tio part a and nOOOO i'm not gonna think about that umi is ok and fish again and he's gonna outlive all the predators and be so super cool and resplendently scaled and shiny the whole time that he gains enough magic power to become a yokai again and then he'll live a happy life with people who don't suck and and and eiden's gonna live forever witht eh power of gay neon gemstone and the elemental spirits kissing him gently on thecheek and nobody will have to sob fat tears over their beloveds ever ok goodbye

[shunin-gumis]

Nagi Initial SSR Story

A Taste of Happiness (Part 2)

Any notes with a * are at the end of the post!

Location - Mountain path

Nagi: ...No good, the bike's completely stalled.

Momiji: Oh no, what do we do now... We're in the middle of the mountains and it's in the dead of night now... I don't think we can call anyone for repairs. Do we start pushing the bike down the path?

Nagi: No, it's ok, this one's a champ. I just have to give it a little nudge to get it started again.

Nagi: This is exactly why Sonia left the tools in my bag. Just wait for a bit, Chief.

Nagi: If you could cheer me on, that would lift my spirits and make me happy.

Momiji: Haha, should I wave an uchiwa* for you? ...Wait, you actually have one!?

Momiji: Um... I'll just hold the flashlight instead, ok?

Momiji: How's this? Can you see clearly?

Nagi: Perfectly. Please hold it up for a bit.

Momiji: Got it.

Nagi: Seems like... the problem's here.

Nagi: Alright, I should be able to fix this right away.

Momiji: That's some impressive technique, you're just like a professional!

Nagi: It's just because I'm used to it. I'm confident that I could pass for the mechanic certification on the first try.

Nagi: Ah. Or maybe not. I'm worried about the actual writing part. I can imagine all my stationary ending up falling apart.

Momiji: Ahahaha.......

Nagi: The atmospheric pressure was stable too....

Nagi: I guess it's because I managed to get my hands on some rare flowers that are usually never stocked at the market...

Momiji: This is about Nagi-kun's "Theory on the Yajirobe of Fortune and Misfortune"...*

Momiji: A balancing act of his happiness... Whenever something fortuitous happens to him, it's guaranteed to be followed by misfortune to balance it out again...

Momiji: Still, something like that is...

Nagi: But the fact is that you ended up being affected by my misfortune too.

Nagi: ...Sorry, Chief. Are you fed up with me now?

Choice 1: I'm surprised rather than fed up

Momiji: I guess I'd say I'm surprised rather than fed up… I can barely believe this is actually a thing. Momiji: But it's also true that I got to experience something that was only possible because I was with you, Nagi-kun. I'm being honest when I say I really learned something today. Nagi:... I guess you're kind to even someone like me, Chief. Thank you.

Choice 2: Not at all. In fact I find it exciting!

Momiji: Maybe it's a little inappropriate to say but... it's kind of like experiencing a thrill ride, I get excited wondering about what's gonna happen next! Nagi: Chief, you're amazing. Your heart is as big as the Pacific Ocean.

Momiji: It's nothing like that.

Momiji: Besides, it must have been really hard on you, to deal with this all on your lonesome. When it's the two of us, we can gain courage from each other to overcome our challenges.

Momiji: Troubles or misfortune, come what may, feel free to share them all with me.

Nagi: ....Ok.

Nagi: Ah, got the engine to start up again, Chief.

Momiji: That's great! Now we just have to head home.

Nagi: Um... before that. I have some place I'd like to take you to, is that ok?

Nagi: If we get a move on now, we should reach it time.... Although, I'll still stay under the speed limit.

-------------------------------

Nagi: ...Here we are. Nice timing, if I do say so myself.

Momiji: Wow...! The sun's rising! It's beautiful....

Nagi: Right? This is my secret hideout.... Wait, hideout might be the wrong word for it. Um, special spot?

Nagi: I come here once in a while on my bike, just to see this sunrise.

Momiji: Was it alright to bring me here?

Nagi: I wanted to share this with you because it's you, Chief.

Nagi: Drinking coffee while I watch the sunrise is a small reward I treat myself to.

Nagi: But today, I'm not alone. I have you with me, Chief.

Nagi: Today... Well, I guess it's yesterday now. I couldn't even imagine something like this happening when I woke up yesterday.

Nagi: There's plenty of happiness and unhappiness scattered all around this world.

Nagi: But that just means the possibilities are endless, right?

Momiji: Hehe, I agree. This world is full of possibilities!

Nagi: ...With that said, have this coffee as thanks for accompanying me all the way to this morning.

Nagi: A tumbler of Sonia's special blend. It's hot so be careful.

Momiji: Thank you!

Momiji: Good work today, Nagi-kun.

Nagi: You did good too, Chief.

Momiji: The coffee I had together with Nagi-kun while watching the sunrise... was very warm and delicious.

*uchiwa is a flat hand-fan that's usually decorated in the style of one's bias in support of them.

*Yajirobe is a term used for Japanese balancing toys. The mechanism involves balancing the main body at a fulcrum and making sure it doesn't tilt too far in either direction before it's balanced again, swinging back like a pendulum.

Part 1

[ticklygiggles]

Miya&Mia's Tickletober Day 4 - Mask

Zhongli x Childe

A/N: lee!Zhongli for the win, of course! Enjoy! (Do you see Childe on the back?)

"This mask is horrible," Zhongli suddenly broke the peaceful silence in the room as he toyed with Childe's Foul Legacy mask. It had no class at all and, if he had to be honest, that one eye thing was terrifying.

He was surprised, however, when Childe gasped loudly, the book he was reading went flying somewhere off the bed and into the floor as he sat up to look at Zhongli with wide eyes. 

"Xiangsheng!" He said, a hand over his bare chest and ahurt expression on his features. "How could you say so?! It's so cool!" 

Zhongli looked at him from his comfortable spot in bed and tilted his head to the side, raising one of his eyebrows incredulously. "Cool? I certainly would not choose that word to describe this horrendous thing."

"Aaghh!" Childe doubled over slightly. "It hurts my heart terribly when you say that, Xiangsheng!" 

Zhongli felt a little smile pulling at the corners of his lips. Bullying Childe was something he didn't do often, but he couldn't lie and say he didn't enjoy it, especially when he got to see his funny reactions. 

"Extremely ugly and not elegant at all," he said, nodding once and turning the mask over. 

"Ack, Xiangshen!" Childe whined, collapsing on the bed dramatically. "Please don't say that anymo-

"Hideous." 

Childe whined, kicking his legs in a little tantrum as he turned to the side to face Zhongli. 

"Unpleasing."

Childe cried as he rolled on top of Zhongli. The former Geo King couldn't stop himself from smiling and there was laughter in his voice when he spoke again: 

"Awful." 

He saw some little tears in the outer corners of Childe's eyes and he was only slightly startled when Childe took the mask between his hands and put it in his face. Zhongli got chills. 

"Absolutely grotesque, extremely uns-s-sihihihghtly- ahahaha!" 

"Xiangsheng, you're hurting my feeeeelings!"

Zhongli had a bit of trouble trying to say something back since Childe's fingers were at his bare ribs, drawing out loud, bubbly laughter as he squirmed under Childe's body. 

"Tahahake thahat hohorrehendous thihihing off!" Zhongli said, trying to cover himself up from Childe's devious fingers. 

"I won't until Zhongli Xiangsheng admits that my mask is really cool, because that's exactly what it is," he said, smirking behind his mask as he quickly found that set of ribs that made Zhongli shriek with laughter. 

"I WOHOHON'T!" Zhongli cackled, arching his back and desperately trying to cover his poor ribs. "B-Behehecause I d-dohohon't lihihie!"

Childe had to laugh as his hands came to a stop and he took off his mask, putting it aside. "Do you really hate it that much?" He asked with a pout as he kissed the corner of Zhongli's smiling mouth. 

"It's a lihihittle terrifying," Zhongli said between soft giggles. "But… I guess it does look kind of cool."

Childe's eyes lighted up and his hands came back to Zhongli's ribs, tickling him all over again. 

"N-Nohoho! I sahahahaid ihihit!"

Childe giggled, "well, you lied when you said you don't lie… I'm punishing you, Xiangsheng, so I'm gonna tickle you right here."

"AHAHAHA! You ahahahare the wohohohorst!" 

[shyvien]

Here are 100 random quotes from Mammon!

Sourced from the OM! Wiki, chats, devilgram, screenshots I found, etc. I made this list to help with studying to write the characters in character. (Not really proofread, sorry if there are mistakes. Also, there may be spoilers. If so, they're minor spoilers)

✧༺⚜️༻✧

“I want to [CENSORED], [CENSORED], and [CENSORED] like there's no tomorrow!”

“Hey! No touchin'! Grrr..!”

“Hey! So you're just gonna ignore me, are ya?! ...Also, I SAID you're too close! Don't get near MC! And NO touchin'! I won't allow it!”

“I don't want to have anything to do with someone like you! That's it. we're done! It's over! ...gr ...! ...! Dammit! Like I could ever really say that to you! I love you, MC! And I'II NEVER break up with you, okay?! NEVER!

“Hey, whoa! Whaddya think you're doin', huh?! You want a piece of me?! IS THAT IT?!”

“Come on, I was just kiddin' around! Now go on and unblock me. ...I'll tell ya a funny joke if you do. "Who's got two thumbs and needs some company?" 👍 "THIS GUY!" 👍 At least gimme a pity laugh, will ya?!”

“Right now it's just you, me, a bed, and no one to bother us.”

“Oh yeah? Well do me a favor and look into your crystal ball and tell me how many times I'm gonna sock you for that smartass comment.”

“I don't THINK so! Like, don't go marryin' Asmo, MC! If you're gonna marry someone, marry m...m-m-m…..m-m-ME! MARRY THE GREAT MAMMON!”

“Y'know..I wouldn't have pegged you as someone who likes to stir up trouble. But you have some pretty interestin' ideas up there in that head of yours, don't ya?”

“Whoa, hey there. Those are some pretty harsh words. Is there some sorta bad blood between you?”

“Look at those cheeks of yours. What's up with those, huh? How'd ya like me to give 'em a little poke? ...Like that! ...And that!”

“Would ya look at that? The Great Mammon really has an eye for spottin' shiny and expensive things! Who knew such a little shop would have uncut gems like these? Hehehe, come to daddy...”

“What's this here...an emerald? You're a looker, aren't ya? Wanna come home with daddy?”

“Lemme go! I'm not gonna rest until l've landed one really good hit on Levi!… Beel! Lemme go, ya muscle-bound son of a...! …All right, bring it on! Do it...see what happens!”

“Man, what's got your panties in a wad all of a sudden?”

“Yeah-heah-HEAAAH! Sweet, sweet treasure! COME TO PAPA!”

“No frickin' way!”

“Geez, I oughta wrap you up for pullin' a stunt like that!”

“Y'see, I was plannin' on hanging out with MC in my room today. And I wanted to create a romantic atmosphere, y'know? So I lit about 500 candles, and the room caught on fire. Scared the bejeebers outta me!”

“You think a little w-warnin' like that would be enough to s-s-scare me off? He thinks I'm gonna stop s-s-spyin' on him because of that? As if!”

“Folks around here won't let us forget it. But they're just labels. By now, no one knows better than us that labels don't mean anything.”

“Th-That's so coooohohohohold! Ahahaha! Why you guys gotta be so meeeeean?”

“C'mon, man. Make with the mouth openin'. The rest of us are waitin' for our turn.”

“Yeah, I know what you're thinkin'. How'd I turn out to be so awesome? You can tell I've been through both highs and lows, and that I'm self-assured and totally sexy.”

“If I can land a nice, clean blow on Lucifer just once, then whatever happens, happens.”

“And I hate the way you lock eyes with Lucifer...and then like smile and stuff... Don't do that, okay? Don't even breath in front of him, okay?!”

“Exactly. Nothin' of value is missin', except for the stuff I sold.”

“That's rough, buddy.”

“You might not know what I'm talkin' about, but I know what l'm talkin' about! Quit showin' up in my dreams uninvited! Ya gotta give me time to prepare before you go bustin' in like that!”

“D-Dummy! Don't go makin' me say it!”

“Have you forgotten? I AM evil! Demon, remember?”

“What? No, you must be mistaken, Your Wonderfulness. I said absolutely nothing of the sort.”

“Whoever's disturbed my...*yawn* my sleep... I got a pile driver with your name on it”

“Hey, you sure you'll be satisfied with just leaving things at my head?”

“If you're wondrin' where I'm at, that means ya got it bad for me, don't ya? ...Please don't pull that "stay" thing on me.”

“Levi, you son of a-- You just full-on PUNCHED me!”

“Eh, still... It feels nice when you run your hand through my hair like that. So l'll go ahead and let it slide.”

“Wha? No, I wasn't tryin' to make fun of ya... Little guy.”

“Damn straight.”

“Anyway, he said he'd be willin' to lend me money again if I managed to pay back everythin' I owed. Obviously, there's no way I can, so I pretended not to have seen anythin' and ran like hell.”

“Nighttime's when I kick into gear! Let's go out on the town! Your treat!”

“I'm still laughin' my ass off over here!”

“You're the only thing more dazzlin' than a gold credit card! Almost blinding, I'd say!”

“Final boss, my ass! Listen up, 'cause the Great Mammon's got some truths for you haters!”

“Just this once, l'II let ya film me in a bathtub full of money! How's THAT for fan service?!”

“So? Waitin' like a good boy's gone and earned me some kinda reward, right?”

“I'll raise my favorability score with MC lickety-split, profess my love, and win this game before you even know what hit you!”

“...Aww. ...I mean, now listen, you! Dammit. You really play dirty, you know that...?”

“Ah, there ya are! How'd you like to hit the casino with me, huh?! Right now! I'm feelin' lucky today. REAL lucky!”

“Just so we're clear, I ain't afraid of no horror movies. Not even a little! Not even a teensy-tiny bit, all right? Like, seriously.”

“Just to be clear, it's not like l'm afraid Lucifer might catch me if I go alone. That's not what this is about. Seriously, that's not what this is about! For real, it isn't!”

“I've got some serious business opportunities lined up for after classes tomorrow. I'm talkin' makin' some mad cheddar, yo! If Lucifer asks about me, tell him I was called to the human world by the witches, would ya?”

“You don't sleep until I do, you got that? And would ya look at that?! The ol' Sandman forgot to sprinkle his magical sand in my eyes! So strap in, buddy! We got a looooong night ahead of us!”

“Listen, Lucifer is gonna be all over my ass once he finds out…”

“No need to worry your pretty little head. I'll be around for meals and sleep. The bed's pretty big, after all”

“Yeah, a real gold digger, that one.”

“I wasn't about to give in to that jerk's demands. I've got more self-respect than that. So, I told him what the deal was: I get the room rent-free and he can shove his two-year contract where the sun don't shine. But then that snake threatened to snitch to Lord Diavolo and Lucifer if I didn't pay up.”

“Cheap shot callin' a guy stingy cause he's lookin' out for his pal.”

“Bet your wonderin' how a guy like me-drownin' in debt, frozen credit card, more lint in his pockets than Grimm-“

“Using my power and influence, I'll push you through the auditions and get you the chance to model, no strings attached! Well, maybe one string: front and center's all mine. Hope the edge is good enough for ya!”

“I swear, I'm not tryin' to pull a fast one on ya, MC, ol' buddy ol' pal!”

“We're pals, right? If ya really wanna know the details, I'll tell ya for 500 Grimm. If you've got the cash on-hand now, I'll tell ya for half the price. So, what'll it be?”

“Hey! MC! Why ya runnin' BUDDY?”

“Ya know, just a peek! So, help me out by opening the door, just a little?… But I caaaaaaaaan't! Open the door and let me see already!”

“My dear sunglasses just took their last breath... I kinda accidentally killed them. I crushed them...with my rear end. That's right, my poor sunglasses...and bum.”

“I'll whip up my special cup ramen! I'll bring it up in a bit, so just sit tight.”

“Look, l'm sendin' ya a ping! So get your butt over here, pronto!”

“Seriously, I'll bust my ass and get there at Mach speed!”

“Crap, that really does make me feel all warm and fuzzy. Thanks, MC. I love ya a whole bunch, too!”

“I got a raffle ticket when I went shoppin' today, so I tried my luck, and booyah. Jackpot, baby!”

“I've got jack all to do! JACK ALL!”

“Listen to what I'm saying, dammit! Can't someone shut this guy up?!”

“Huh, ya don't say. Whoopsie.”

“If you're thinkin' of saving that picture of me on your D.D.D., I swear I'll put a curse on ya! I'll make it so that you never find money layin' on the street again! And don't you forget it...”

“Jealous? Wanna join me, right? Well, this isn't the sorta place that humans can just go lollygaggin' about in, so keep your pants on.”

“Haha! That's all ya got?!”

“It's an honor to be fightin' ME!”

“Muahahaha. ALL points for MAMMON! Bow down to me!”

“Hehehe, I'm feelin' GOOD today. I got ya somethin'!”

“Oh...? Yeah, that's the spot! Right there!”

“That's a good human. You're gettin' the hang of it, aren't ya?”

“Yo. So ya dropped in to pay Mammon a visit, eh? Good on ya!”

“Missin' the Great Mammon, were ya? Heh, welcome home.”

“Hey, not there! That tickles!”

“What are ya, a spoiled brat?”

“I guess everyone's like that with their first. Who knew ya could be so cute. Hey, why dontcha be more greedy? That way you'd really win my heart.”

“Hey... Oi... All right, already! Pay attention to me!”

“Hey, can't ya be gentle?!”

“Ya know what do to, doncha? Thanks!”

“Eeeew, take that back. Give it to someone else.”

“Hahaha! Is that all ya got? It's nothing compared to Lucifer's swing!”

“Don't think you can get away with this!”

“Here, I got a present for ya! Beach time, you and me! Let me show you how well I can swim!”

“Also, I'm goin' wakeboarding but... I'm gonna bring you along too, 'cause ya know, I like hangin' out with ya and stuff.”

“A Red Demonus after a long day's work is the best! Why doncha grab one too?”

“It's cool if we chill here and drink together, yeah?”

“This looks so flippin' good!”

“Hey, why don't we go this year? Keep the date open, all right?”

“They're very nice, so I thought it woulda cost ya a pretty penny!”

Couple extra for my boy

“You wanted to match with me, ya say?! Cute!”

“Someone put a photo frame in your room, right? That was me. You were eyein' it up in the shop so I bought it. You put a picture of everyone in it, but I really wanted you to put one of just us t... Never mind.”

✧༺⚜️༻✧

I love this goofy fucker

𝑀𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉

𝒮𝒽𝓎 𝒲𝓇𝒾𝓉𝑒𝓇 ༝༚༝༚

[002yb]

asdjfkl !!! Thank you for answering my ask about how the Secretary AU would play out if Bruce had to travel under various circumstances. I loooved reading through the different scenarios. My favorite bits were when Alfred was side-eyeing Bruce over taking Jason away from a child; Dick being super suave and attractive, leaving Jason a little tongue-tied; Bruce being a mess and ready to demand Clark fly his ass back to his babygirl at the slightest whiff of trouble; Tim filling in for Bruce and enjoying Jason acting as HIS PA, ahhh.

This whole universe of yours has me in a chokehold. 💕

Ohhhhh, hello hello!! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ That ask was a lot of fun to answer. Thank you for sending it my way! I'm happy to know that you enjoyed my reply to it. ♡♡♡

Secretary AU is very much an All x Jason situation at heart, but ahhhhhh there's something to Tim and Jason's relationship, especially within WE that's so cute. //U///

Hidden sticky notes tucked away between reports that Tim is reviewing as a little surprise and pick me up to make Tim laugh and ease some of the tension out of his shoulders

Smoke breaks!! Where Tim catches Jason and Jason is Σ(°ロ°) as he tries to wave away the smoke and hide the cig, only for Tim to bum it and take a drag himself before heaving the biggest of sighs because damn, what a day (for both of them) and Jason laughs about it because it's so unexpected but nice

Until Bruce catches them and it doesn't matter that they're both adults, they act like kids caught doing something they shouldn't have been lolol

Omg the severity that Bruce handles the HR notice of Tim and Jason's alleged relationship ahahaha. Tim's deadpan stare into the void because Bruce is wildly hypocritical, given his history with HR, wow

[clowningaroundmars]

morales twins vigilantes: getting found out pt 2

okayyyy this part's a slight bit longer but hopefully, uh, worth it lol

kinda made myself tear up a lil at the end ahahaha

also pls don't ask when this takes place, like either in between istv and atsv or atsv and btsv.... idk bro LMFAO this is technically a whole other au in and of itself soooo yuh

disclaimer: i'm a whole ass anarchist, however miles and milo are two teenage boys who've grown up with a cop dad and they play a lil lip service to the police force during their big speech so... yeah i don't support the existence of the police force, but it is what it is. characters don't reflect author's beliefs and all that

>1st part here<

Jeff happened to be lucky enough to be pardoned for the rest of the night, and he also opted to use some PTO on this very very important occasion, so he sped off in the squad car with his sons in the back immediately after visiting the police department and signing off on some papers. He did not utter a word until they all got back home safely.

In the car, it was eerily silent as Jeff fumed in the front. Miles practiced what he was going to say over and over in his head, picking at his suit and avoiding his twin brother’s eyes. Milo held what remained of his mask in his hands, gauntlets off and tucked between his feet on the floor of the car. They both hung their heads low, counting down the minutes until they got back home and had to face their inevitable death sentence.

They were in so much trouble. Yikes. This was exactly what Miles dreaded for so damn long now, and it almost felt like a dream the way it happened so quickly.

Back home, both boys were sat down in the dining room area behind the couch, waiting for their mother to come back from her night shift. Milo was given an ice pack for his head and some painkillers, and then they were both sternly ordered to take off their respective suits.

Miles turned inquisitive eyes towards his dad.

“If your mom comes in and sees you two wearing those outfits right after work, that woman will have a heart attack and faint. Take ‘em off,” was Jeff’s sharp explanation.

They were not gonna argue with that. To the bedroom they both went.

“And then you both come right back out the second you change, got it?”

“Yeah dad, got it,” was Miles’ unenthused mumble before closing the door.

Miles turned back around with his mask in his hands, and immediately threw it at Milo.

“What were you thinking?!?!” he hissed, arms flying up into the air, making grabbing motions at his twin brother’s neck. “You absolute idiot, my god, we are so. Freaking. Dead!!”

Milo ducked back, scowling. “Me?!” he hissed back, keeping his voice at a harsh whisper as well. “What did you want me to do, pendejo, just let our dad fry, just like that? I didn’t see you moving to stop the guy!”

They were both snapping at each other, hands flying everywhere as they argued in harsh tones and whispers. They only stopped when they heard a loud knock on the door.

“Don’t take all night, either,” came their father’s booming voice from behind the wood.

Miles hung his head. Milo rolled his eyes and moved towards the closet, ripping his jacket off and kicking off his shoes. “Yes dad,” they both intoned at the same time.

A few glares were exchanged as clothes were tossed onto the floor, and Miles sighed loudly as he pulled on a pair of pajama pants, throwing himself onto his bed to get them up his legs all at once. He glanced at his bedside alarm clock, knowing his mom would be home any minute now. He felt his heart beat in his chest much louder and faster than usual.

Milo pulled on a hoodie over his head, gingerly easing the fabric over his bruised chest.

“Did the blast hit your chest too, man?” Miles asked quietly, eyes playing over the mess of a bruise over slightly-scarred skin, wincing a bit.

Milo exhaled sharply. “Shuddup.”

Miles frowned. “You have to let mom know about that soon. Don’t ‘shuddup’ me.”

“Whatever. Let’s just get this over with.”

Miles knew his brother was sulking, but that really looked… bad. If he was responsible for not only dragging his brother into vigilantism, but also putting him in the hospital as well, he had no idea how he was getting out of this one alive. He was probably never going to see the light of day until college. Maybe not even then.

Once ready, both boys stood side-by-side in front of the door, hesitating. They both glanced at each other, then back at the door.

This was it, they both thought. The moment of truth. This was the night where it was all gonna go down, and their painstakingly-kept secret would finally be revealed to their parents. D-day. My god. He didn’t even know if the speech he prepared in the car on the way home was even gonna suffice against their mother’s explosive anger. She was gonna have a cow the second Jeff told her. Damnit.

Guess I can kiss the whole Spider-man thing goodbye, Miles thought, the very idea leaving a very heavy weight in his chest that he just couldn’t ignore. He leaned forward to turn the knob and swing open the door. With one last glance back at his brother, he stepped out. Then his brother followed him slowly, ice pack pressed to the side of his head again.

It was like a funeral procession the way they marched solemnly back to their chairs placed side-by-side by the table. Jeff leaned on the doorway to the hallway with his arms crossed sternly over his chest, still in his police uniform, hat already hung up.

As if on cue, Rio’s keys jangled against the door, and she stepped inside once the lock clicked open. Her slightly tired expression changed in an instant once she hung up her bag and walked into the apartment.

“Hello boys, I’m home!” She announced, a bit surprised. Not only were her husband and two sons all home at the same time, but they were all hanging around to watch her come home after work at such a late hour. Granted, it was summertime and the weekend, but still. Weird.

Jeff had texted her that something important came up and that she needed to be home ASAP, but didn’t elaborate further. She didn’t know what to expect when she got back. She crossed her fingers and hoped that it wasn’t that bad, if her husband texted her instead of calling. If it was an emergency, surely he would’ve called.

Right?

Her eyes widened once she saw the ice pack Milo held against his head, and quickly made her way over to him.

“Qué pasó?” She kneeled next to her boy, checking him over quickly.

Milo winced and tried to dodge his mother’s hands, holding a protective arm over his chest that no one missed. “Ma, stop. I’m fine, seriously. It’s… it’s fine.”

“Is it? What is going on, why is everyone so… so sad right now, and what are you two doing sitting here like this? Jeff…?” She turned to face her husband but he was already making his way back to the boys’ bedroom, scooping up their respective vigilante costumes and heading back out with the incriminating evidence in both hands.

Once he got back to the table, he tossed them onto the surface and crossed his arms again.

For a second, no one moved. The whole world held its breath for one precious moment.

Then, with deadly calm in her tone, Rio slowly stood up and placed her hands on her hips. “...What are those things?”

Both boys braced for impact.

“Well?”

Miles swallowed hard, hands gripped together tightly. “Uhm. They’re. They’re… our outfits. Y’know… for fighting crime.”

Rio gaped at her sons.

“He’s Spider-man, mom. Miles is Spider-man,” Milo clarified solemnly. His chin was at his chest now, avoiding eye contact with his mother.

“...And you’re the Prowler.” Rio finished.

She took a step back and exhaled, running her hands through her hair and rubbing her face. “Oh… oh my god. Dios mió, me voy a morir. I knew it, but still... me voy a morir!” ¹

Finally, Jeff spoke up behind her. “They’re not Halloween costumes, either. Guess where I found ‘em tonight?”

With tears in her eyes, Rio looked back at her husband, a pleading look on her face. “Don’t tell me,” she begged. But Jeff continued anyways.

“I took tonight’s shift on as a bit of extra, and when I was called to take care of an electric freak close to downtown, I found these two at the scene already.”

Finally, Rio exploded. “What?!?”

The twins flinched.

Jeff exhaled and pressed on, licking his lips. “Yeah, and not only that, but Milo here took on a direct blast of electricity to the face. He jumped in front of me and put himself in harm’s way!”

Scandalized, Milo leaped up from his seat, wincing only a little bit. “Wait a minute, I did it to protect you! That’s my job!”

The anger fizzled out immediately once both parents swung their withering glares around back to him, rage hot enough to almost burn two holes into his skull. Miles pulled Milo’s hoodie sleeve and quietly hissed, “stop making it worse!”

Milo clammed up and quickly sat back down, pouting.

“Your job?” Rio shot back incredulously, laughing angrily.

“That is not your job, Milo! That is mine! My job! I wear this badge every single day so that I can protect the people of Brooklyn. You are a kid with homework and chores to do, not fighting dangerous bad guys on the streets like some kinda—” Jeff worked himself up but then stopped, as if he suddenly ran out of steam. He placed his hands over his head, clearly stressed, and exhaled loudly.

“How long?” Rio’s tone was sharp.

They were definitely not getting out of this alive. Damn. Rest in power, Morales twins.

Miles shuffled his feet, hesitating. “Uhm—”

“Speak up, Miles. How long have you two been running around behind our backs and lying to us like this? Huh?”

Miles sighed. “I, uhm. We’ve been doing this… for a while now.”

“A while?”

“…A -a year.”

“A YEAR?!”

“I mean I’unno about Miles, but I’ve only been doin’ this for like a couple months, so…” Milo mumbled half-heartedly beside his brother. That comment earned him another set of glares, including one from Miles.

“A year. A year! A year, that’s how long you’ve been lying to us?” Jeff was pacing now, clearly stressed out. He was mumbling things under his breath that both boys would rather not know anything about.

Miles jumped up from his seat, seizing the opportunity when he could. “Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait, guys. Mom, dad. Listen to me, please,” he begged, hands splayed out in front of him.

He took a breath. He opened his mouth.

“Until college.” Rio interrupted, holding a finger up. “Both of you. Grounded! Until college! You will both be adults before you ever go out without my permission ever again!”

Miles deflated. “O-kay but mom, please! Hear me out first!”

Rio held a hand up. “I don’t wanna hear it! I cannot believe that both of my sons would lie to me like this! For an entire year, no less! Dios, dame paciencia, coño!” ² She shook her head as she held her face in her hands. “Do you two know what you’re doing to me? Look at me, I’m getting grey hairs as we speak!”

Jeff immediately took her side. “Do you realize what you’re doing to your mother? You’re killing her! And you--” he rounded on Milo all of a sudden, jolting the poor boy into sitting up straight. “You are killing me! You’re going around wearing those godforsaken gloves around, punching bad guys just cuz you wanna feel like a big man, huh? Do you know what that does to me?!”

Milo visibly prickled up, hunching in on himself. “I’m not doing it for me,” he bit out angrily.

“Then for who, huh?”

“I wanted to save the little guys on the street... when the cops couldn’t. I wanted to help Miles.” Milo sounded tired, and for a split second he looked much older beyond his years. Both of his parents softened for only a fraction of a second before Jeff rubbed his eyes and turned back to Miles.

"And who made you Spider-man all of a sudden? What happened a year ago? Tell me the truth. I don't want any detail left out!"

Ah, interrogation mode already, Miles thought humorlessly.

He sighed and dutifully got started on the whole backstory, careful to leave out the fact that he was with Aaron the moment he got shot, skipping to the part where he "found" his uncle's nearly lifeless body in that alleyway that fateful day. It was a harmless enough lie… Miles presumed. Right?

"Did you… then... h-how did you see who shot Aaron, Miles? Were you there?" Jeff asked quietly, also looking as tired as Milo did. Miles paused, not expecting the question.

Rio shot him a look. "Jeff, mi amor, please. Now is really not the time." She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Right now, we have to talk about this... this... situation we have going on here. What's next?"

Miles shrugged, palms facing forward as if to say and the rest is history. "I'm... pretty sure you guys know the rest. Dad... you were uh, there. At the collider. I stopped Kingpin and then I just. Well, yeah. Y'all have already watched all of the news stories and the videos. So," he finished lamely.

Then, a surge of confidence as he looked at the concerned expressions dawning on his parents' faces. It's now or never.

"...B-but I love being Spider-man! Dad, you've seen me out there, the way I fight, the fact that you guys have less to deal with cuz I'm out there kicking ass!"

Oops. Wrong words.

Miles' confidence deflated as soon as those concerned and sympathetic looks turned into ones of anger.

"Kicking ass?! More like getting your ass kicked, little boy! How many NewTube videos are out there of you getting crushed by cars," Jeff started to count off of his fingers, "hit by buses, tossed in the air, punched and flung halfway across the block--"

"Jeff, please!" Rio cried, wobbling a bit. She pulled out the chair closest to her from the table and slumped down into it, rubbing at her temples.

"S-sorry, hon..." Jeff placed an apologetic hand on his wife's shoulder.

Rio sighed deeply.

"I get it. I know. But dad..." Miles steeled himself this time. "When you put on that badge every single day and you go out into those streets to protect the city, you think you're never gonna get shot at? Jumped? It is literally your responsibility to put yourself in the way of danger so no one else has to." He turns to the table and grabs his mask.

"For me," Miles continues, "this is my badge. Okay? I put this on every single day and swing out into the streets so people can shoot at me, or ask me for directions, or wait for me to get weird guys in stupid costumes away from the train tracks. I do this every single day, because if I don't, who will? Peter is dead--" ...wow, that feels weird to say.

"Miles..." Rio's big brown eyes gaze sadly at her boy, standing tall with this awful mask in his hand. A mask that she desperately wished wasn't his.

"Mom. Peter is dead. He is. Okay? If I don't step up and take his place, knowing what I can do? Then I might as well not even be alive at all." He tosses his mask dramatically back onto the table to punctuate his point. "I can shoot webs from my wrists and I have strength like y'all wouldn't believe. I can stick to walls and do everything that Peter Parker was able to do before he passed away. If I just sit here doing nothing with these abilities while everyone struggles to live their lives every single day, letting bad guys with superpowers do whatever they want, then what's the point of anything? The exact same reason why I put on this suit to go fight crime is the exact same reason why you do, dad." Miles turns to his father now. "You have your suit, I have mine."

Milo jumps in, enthused. "And the reason why I put on my mask is because of him. And the civilians, too... of course. But it's not because I 'wanna feel like a big man', dad. It's because it drives me crazy seeing my own brother taking on all of this responsibility on his shoulders all by himself. Miles is gonna do crazy things now that he got bit by a super-spider, right? We literally cannot stop him, even if we tried. Trust me. Might as well go along with him and support him so he doesn't get himself killed out there. That's why I do this. Every single day."

Jeff opens his mouth to say something, but is then cut off by Rio's own small, sad voice. "... Why does it have to be you two?" She asks quietly.

She looks so small sitting there on their wooden dining room chair, and a million times more tired than when she came in through the door. She wasn't even out of her own nurse's uniform yet, either. Miles felt a pang of sympathy for her.

Miles... did not know the answer to her question either. He really didn't. Why was it him-- out of all of the people in Brooklyn-- that got bit by that spider? Clearly, the universe had a grand, elaborate joke planned for him. That was really probably the only explanation for it all. But, no. No, there had to be something else in the cards for Miles. After all, he was bitten by the spider while out with his uncle who was secretly the Prowler, and he was present for not only Peter Parker's death, but that same uncle as well.

He squared his shoulders. And then told the truth.

"I... don't know," he admitted. "But... I do know this. Growing up, I always knew Spider-man was there to answer the call no matter what. He didn't pick this life of battling bad guys that wanna tear the city up all the time, a spider bit him, too. But he made me promise something before he died, and I have to live up to that promise. What else am I gonna do when I'm able to pick up cars with my bare hands?"

Granted, it was only a promise to stop the collider from opening a black hole inside of the city they lived in, but. Details. Anyways...

Rio hid her face in her hands again.

Miles softened his tone, sitting down. "This is something I worked really, really hard for and it's important to me. Milo... is kinda right. You can ground me. Until college. Or whenever. But as long as I've got these powers," he held his hands open, propping his elbows on his knees and meeting his mom's eyes, "and there's people out there that need saving? I gotta do what I gotta do, mami."

Milo leaned forward, too. "Yeah. Same here. He's not alone. The same reason we do this stuff is cuz... ever since we were little, we also watched you guys answer the call, no matter what. I never met Spider-man, before... y'know, but it doesn't matter. We do this for New York City."

Neither of their parents spoke for a bit, digesting all of this information in solemn silence. The anger from earlier all but melted away as they ruminated over all of this. All this time, their little boy was running around in a spandex costume, swinging around, punching bad guys and lifting fallen buildings off of people. There was... a hint of pride underneath all of the fear and anger and betrayal and anxiety, even Rio couldn't lie.

But god, how would things ever be the same again after knowing that the very hero who swung from building to building and knocked villains down before webbing them up was the very same boy with the brightest brown eyes they've ever seen; the boy who brought home A's on his test like he won a medal, the same boy who sang horribly off-key while doodling all over his sketchbook, who refused to tie his shoelaces and drove Jeff up the wall when he found graffiti and stickers all around the city in Miles' name? It was impossible... Rio's heart broke into two pieces.

And Milo... a tougher counterpart to her little ray of sunshine, but just as sweet. The same boy who would feed stray cats on the block, beam like a ray of light after winning a boxing match against a tough opponent, who would hide behind Rio at parties and join her happily to watch the latest episode of the new telenovela they both got hooked on... that same boy was wearing those gloves, swinging around the city looking like a bad guy himself. Rio's shattered heart gained another huge crack before finally breaking into three pieces.

Finally, she sighed again.

"You have superpowers?" She asked, hesitantly.

"... I... yeah, I do." Miles answered, fearing that this was a trick question.

Rio nodded sadly. "Of course. Of course..."

Jeff spoke up, now kneeling beside his wife, caressing her hand clasped in between both of his. "Just because you have superpowers, doesn't mean you're invincible. Miles, we do this because we care about you. Maybe we won't be able to stop either of you from putting yourself in harm's way... I mean, hell, nobody can stop me. But... god, isn't there any other way?"

Miles raised a brow. "Any other way to...?"

Jeff blew out a breath. "I-I dunno, can't you use your super strength to... well, maybe help the transportation department move some tracks around, build some new stations... that'd help the city. Swing around and deliver medicine to people for free? God, I don't know. I just don't want either of you to jump in front of bullets for other people... man..." he shook his head.

Miles and Milo exchanged glances. "I... I know it's tough to accept this," Miles started, unsure of what to say. "Maybe I can scale back the dangerous stuff some but... I... can't just stand around directing traffic when someone's getting mugged. Or a bank is getting robbed. Dad, I just can't. Maybe you guys will hate it every time I put the suit on and swing outside but... I can't give this up now. I'm sorry." He dipped his head apologetically.

Another long stretch of silence.

A clock ticks on the wall in the kitchen, and the ice maker in the fridge starts humming again. It's all so painfully domestic, painfully ordinary, it's almost an insult to the people living in this apartment facing these serious revelations all at the same time. It sure is a sharp contrast to the solemn mood settling all over everyone right now.

Rio looks deeply into Miles' eyes, then Milo's. After a while, she turns to face Jeff. "Jeff. You will not like what I'm about to say."

Jeff returns her look with one of confusion. "Honey..."

Rio shrugs, a small gesture but one that makes Miles and Milo's hearts skip a beat. "Mi vida, these are our boys. They have... this big responsibility now, to the people here in this city. Just like you. Just like me," she swallows and continues. "You and me? We've seen what Miles is capable of. Well, the both of them. And as much as it hurts, it would probably hurt even more if we kept them both back from being the heroes they need to be. What we need to do now is... we need to support them. We love them. They need us. We need them! Qué más puedo decir?" ³

Jeff looked deeply into his wife's eyes and then inhaled deeply. Not quite a sigh. That was maybe a good sign?

He stands up.

"...Boys."

The twins took their cue. They both stood up, too. Milo quickly discards his ice pack on his chair. Rio joins them, leaning on Jeff for support.

"When police officers get sworn in, they usually just have to do paperwork nowadays. Not too much of the whole bells and whistles due to high turnover rates, but tonight... if either of you want to continue to fight crime in this city, you both have to put your right hand up. Right now."

Miles could cry. Milo bit his lip to try and hide his grin, and they both dutifully raised their right hands at the same time. Jeff does the same, and reaches his left hand out to take Miles'. Rio takes Milo's.

"Pretend we are the Bible. Not paperwork. The Bible."

Both boys nod with all the seriousness they could manage, looking their father in the eyes.

"Do you solemnly swear on your mother and father's life that you will uphold the law and do right by the citizens of Brooklyn, New York, so help you God?"

"I mean... the law law? Cuz sometimes we--" Milo started, immediately earning an elbow to the side. He shut up.

"Yes, the law. I will not be having the DA of New York City up in my home lookin' for you two in case anyone gets badly hurt. I don't want him in my office, either." Jeff gives them both a look.

Miles pipes up. "Yes, we swear, so help us God."

"Milo?"

Milo nods emphatically. "Yes, I swear, so help me God."

Jeff nods once.

"Mijos. You will both be allowed to go and fight crime outside, con mi bendiciones. But. But... you will both also do it under two conditions. If either of you break my rules, you will have wished that spider never bit you," Rio glared at Miles. Then to Milo, "and you will have wished you never stole your uncle's gloves from his apartment. Got it?"

Both boys nodded, still holding onto their parents' hands.

"So, my two rules are this. Only two. Easy to remember, okay? Number one. Milo, you will take care of your brother as best as you can. Miles, you will take care of Milo as best as you can. Both of you will always be seen together when going out and doing hero things, do you understand?"

"Yes, mamí" the boys say simultaneously.

"Never, ever go out alone, ever. Neither of you will be alone for even a second, especially during the nighttime. Promise me this."

Miles puts his right hand down to take his mother's other hand in his. "Yes, mom. I promise. We both promise."

Rio bows her head. "...And as for my second rule."

"Do we have to have a curfew?" Milo asks quietly. Everyone shoots him a look again.

"No, no curfew." Before the boys could get excited, she quickly adds, "except for on school nights." They both calm back down.

"Your education is always, always more important. Don't forget this," she lets go of their hands to hold up a finger. "But as for my second rule? No more secrets between us. All of us. Okay? You tell me exactly when it is you leave to go and do what you need to do, and exactly when you come back. Promise me this, too."

This time, it was Miles' turn to start saying something dumb. "I meaann, like every single time? Cuz sometimes it's not really a one-and-done kinda thing, like a shift or--"

Everyone glares at Miles. Miles promptly shuts up.

"...Sí, mamí. Te prometemos todo eso." ⁴ Milo answers seriously.

Rio sucks in a breath. "Okay. Okay..."

She looks as if she's about to burst into tears, so everyone draws in tightly for a group hug. Rio sniffles against Milo's shoulder and Jeff leans his chin on Mile's head. Miles laughs wetly.

"Geez, y'all are crying? Man, for what? Ain't nobody dying or anything..." Milo interjects suddenly, causing the whole mood to dissipate all at once. Everyone laughs incredulously.

"Boy, if you don't know how to read a room..." Jeff starts, a warning tone laced into his playful grin.

"Man, I was just trying to lighten the mood! Damn, I mean shouldn't we be celebrating? Miles literally has super strength, you guys. Like c'mon, right? That is literally the coolest thing in the whole world!"

Rio groans, tossing her head back. "Mira esté, 'coolest thing in the whole world'... déjame agarrarte, maldito cabron..." ⁵ she mutters sarcastically, moving to grab at Milo's neck in the exact same way Miles did not even an hour earlier. He playfully dodged out of the way, putting his arms up to block, out of habit.

"Cabron?! Mom, you're so mean!" Milo complained.

"C'mere!"

Jeff leans in and interrupts their banter. "Milo. Son. You have to sit with me on the couch now, cuz we have to have a little chat about how you got your hands on those gloves, actually..." He grabs at one of Milo's arms, his smile just a tad bit too wide. Milo gulps.

Jeff continues, steering them both away from Miles and Rio. "And we also have to talk a bit about the history behind those things, too..."

Rio turns to Miles and cups his cheeks in her hands, looking into his eyes. "Do you actually, actually swear to me that you will try your hardest to stay safe?"

"Yes, mom, I do! We said it like a hundred times."

"Your father was right. Just because you have super strength now--"

"And super-healing."

Rio stares at him for a beat.

Miles squirms nervously. "...What? I do!"

"Super-healing, sure. Uh huh. If I catch you with bullet holes inside of you, I am not taking you to the ER then, Mr. Invincible."

"Ouch. Harsh."

"I warned you! I'm smiling like I'm joking but I'm really not!"

"Okay, okay, geez. C'mon, ma. It's really not that big of a deal. I don't get shot at as much as you'd think! Seriously! I'm fast. And... and I've been doing this for a while now. You have to trust me, okay?"

Rio sobered up. "I know. I know. I just... mi amor, I am your mother. I worry about you. You know... I've been taking care of my two little boys for so many years now. I just... I care about the both of you even when you two drive me completamente loca! I trust that you can both handle yourselves, I really do. It's just hard. It is. I-it'll... take some time to get used to."

Miles nodded. "Growing up is tough. I get it."

Rio smacked him on the shoulder.

"Ow! What, it's true! We're all growing up right now, I'm not a little kid anymore and... and you're not the mom of two little kids now. It's just... it's a transitional period! Life's tough!" Miles shrugs, smiling warmly.

Rio smirked, crossing her arms. "Uh huh. It sure is."

Then, she opened her arms for another hug from Miles, which he happily returned.

"I mean it, Miles. Whatever happens, I want you to keep yourselves safe. And ask for help. Papí, your father is a police officer. And whatever you need, whatever you need... I'm here, too."

Miles beamed at his mother with tears in his eyes.

"I know, mom. Thank you."

☆ translations:

¹ "my god, i'm going to die."

² "god, grant me patience, fuck!"

³ "what more can i say?"

⁴ "yes, mom. we promise you all of that."

⁵ "Lookit this guy, 'coolest thing in the whole world'... lemme get my hands on you, fucking bastard..."

[nordicbananas]

(big wall of text utc)

the gods are real like the greek gods like the ones you learned about but weren't paying attention to well they don't pay attention to you either especially if you're their kid the gods have godly things to do godly places they need to be godly plans they need to make that don't include me the gods are real and they have kids and those kids have issues issues daddy doesn't love me and mommy is a god mommy can't protect me and daddy is a god mommy is too busy and daddy is too busy busy busy busy busy being a god yeah you never listen to me you never listen you never listen to me you never listen oh you never listen to me you never listen but it's time you hear our part of the story it's time you hear our story look I didn't wanna be a half blood I didn't wanna be a hero selling praise being a half blood it's scary and mostly gets you killed in very nasty ways I didn't wanna cause trouble trouble I'm less a player and more the played and honestly id be totally fine if i could make it to the next grade next grade it wasn't dirty socks or my step dad it was danger that i smelled the day it all went down the day I got expelled maybe you don't know what a half blood is because your life is normal and happy and not constantly in danger but my life let me set the scene we were on this freaky field trip freaky trip that's where the story should probably start we were geeking out on ancient greek mythology at the new york metropolitan museum of art we stopped by all the satues and leared about the gods with mr Brunner and my substitute Mrs dodds hadnt done nothing wrong wasnt rude hadnt rebelled on the day it all went down the day i got expelled the greek gods almighty titans of earth sea and sky but even they were children once and they didn't have it easy their father kronos feared the day his children would one day inherit the earth so what did he do anyone anyone he ate them ah thank you Mrs dodds but one child zeus escaped and devised a plan to rescue his brothers and sisters he tricked kronos into eating a rock and what did kronos do anyone any student he vomited them up eh I didn't really get the story at least it wasn't as boring as I feared but is it me or is Greek mythology not deeply weird I didn't wanna pay attention pay attention pay attention now I wish I had taken notes but my focus is in question and the god of indigestion caused a groan from all our throats ew bah dude what was that my best friend was acting strange at which he so excelled the day it all went down the day I got expelled why do you have peanut butter in your hair ask nancy bobofit she's a monster well not literally I think she threw a peanut butter sandwich at you she threw a peanut butter sandwich at you I stopped it with my head grover you're a good friend aw dude I'm your only friend percy jackson I knew something was up when I heard my name get yelled the day it all went down i saw something wrong in mrs dodds' frown the day it all got weird the day i got expelled mr jackson oh mr jackson oh mr jackson please meet me by the sphinx listen if this is about Nancy bobofit she only hates me because I tried to get her to stop wedgie-ing the first graders i have heard much about you percy jackson really that's very dedicated for a substitute kicked out of 5 schools in 6 years one might question your parentage hey don't talk about my mom and your father that's right you don't know who he is ahahaha what's this about anyways hahaha uh Mrs dodds you have something growing from your ah what ho percy mr brunner what am I supposed to do with a pen sword woah

mr brunner Mrs dodds I didn't know what just had happened was that all a creepy crazy dream my teacher was a creature then she vanished to the ether with a demon scream the next thing that I knew i was where detention was held the day it all got real the day I got expelled i tried percy but the headmaster stays firm in his decision you were supposed to stay with the group and this was your final warning but it wasn't my fault it was Mrs dodds she lured me away attacked my and what you saw it did I yes and you gave me that pen only it wasn't a pen it was a sword and what percy we've never had a teacher named Mrs dodds perhaps it's for the best it was only a matter of time before I got kicked out that's not what I was going to you think I'm trouble just like everyone else no but that is to say I can only accept the best from you percy someday you'll understand why im truly sorry yeah well I'm sorry for letting you down maybe he's right you never fit in at this school anyway you're not exactly normal exactly i mean uh I'll see you on the bus so if you think you are a half blood better get running to the exit now cause folks with think you're lying better run and don't start crying cause you're monster chow or stick around and maybe you'll learn from me this ain't odysseus' odyssey so hear me out if you're compelled but nobody listens to me they never listen nobody listens to me they never listen oh dude you got expelled I didn't wanna be a half blood expelled I didn't ask to be a half blood expelled

[luckykittens198]

When Your Dad is a Pillar of the Universe 4

A few month since the accident, Kim Rok Soo was passed between his relatives. At this moment too, Kim Rok Soo realised he could remember everything as clear as the moment he first experienced it.

Until he finally got transferred to a distant uncle from his father's side of the family, he always heard how his relative called him misfortune bringer. By the time his uncle, Kim Seung Jong, pick him up, Kim Rok Soo has became a silent child.

Kim Seung Jong is a heavy smoker, was Kim Rok Soo's first impression. His second impression was, his eyes were just like dad's. So dark, it feels like no lights can escape. His third impression scared him a little, his uncle had the same smile as his dad did before the accident.

"Hello. I'm Kim Seung Jong, your uncle." He said as he crouched in front of Rok Soo.

"I guess you'll have to stay with me now little Rok Soo. It's nice to meet you." Uncle Seung Jong said while smiling that weird smile of his.

Rok Soo's current aunt pushed him roughly, "Hurry up and take him away. Him being here just caused us more trouble than it's worth."

Rok Soo who still kept a close eyes on Seung Jong's eyes noticed that his uncle's eyes flickered to dark brown before returning to the deep darkness he first saw. Kim Seung Jong frowned, "Well, maybe your misfotune wasn't caused by little Rok Soo here, but instead because your son and husband got caught in gambling debt and fraudulent investment."

Rok Soo's aunt was silenced. It wasn't a secret that her husband likes to gamble. But her son too?

"H-how? How did you??" She stuttered as she took a step back.

Kim Seung Jong stood up and grab Rok Soo's hand, "Well, I am quite an expert in fraud. I am a cop after all. Well, have a good day ma'am." He gave her a salute before grabbing Rok Soo's bag and left.

When they reach the car, Kim Rok Soo finally spoke, "You felt like my dad."

Kim Seung Jong hummed. "Is that so? What makes you think that?"

"Your eyes. And smile. They are similar to Dad's when we left for vacation."

"Ahahaha.... we are family after all."

"No. Who are you mister?"

"Your family of course."

"Yeah, but who are you? I know the big sis was worried about having me in your care. But you are definitely different from her files."

Kim Seung Jong was silent. They drove in silent for a few minute before Kim Seung Jong finally spoke, "You, really are a precocious child."

"My family is dead. I had to grew quickly"

"Yes, I suppose you do."

The car returned to silence as Kim Seung Jong focused on driving.

"If I said I was your father, would you believe me?"

That sentence caused Rok Soo to glare at this man calling himself his uncle. "How dare you! My mom would never cheat!"

"Ah, wait! Wrong sentences! Wrong sentences!" The car almost swerved before Kim Seung Jong managed to control it again.

"Let's talk when we reach home, alright? I'll explain everything later!"

"You better, you weird stinky old man!"

"S-stinky??"

"Yeah! You reeks of smoke! So stinky!"

"Dammit, Kim Seung Jong..."

Prev Next

[heteromerous-rhyming]

while i'm feeling stabby let's talk about action scenes in the percy jackson show (bc i refuse to let this go i refuse i do)

bc the actions scenes otherwise were not unfortunately memorable for me i'm going to be talking about the first and last ones and why they don't work both on a cinematic level but also on a character level. did i want to address the disappointingness of the st louis arch fight? yes. but literally cannot remember it beyond the fact that it was disappointing. which says a lot imo.

so. let's start with the mrs. dodds fight shall we?

i'm going to say it. taking away the sequence where percy assumes that he's wrongfully in trouble kills a bunch of subtle character work in the series.

in the books percy has a short monologue at the beginning where he starts off with "am i a troubled kid?" and so the lead up to mrs. dodds attacking him does several things. we, the reader understand that percy didn't (consciously) do anything, so we feel the unfairness when he's pulled aside - this scene asks us, the readers, to sympathize with the kid, not the authority figure. it sets up a fundamental theme in the books, that authority figures, and more specifically adults, can be challenged, can be wrong, can be terribly unfair to children. and this is important considering the protagonist of this story is dyslexic and has ADHD???

and they take it out. and it's really really galling.

there's so many other things that i could say about the character work in this scene. so many, like the fact that mrs. dodds' monologue about the gods is misinterpreted at first to be about the school - setting up the connection between the school administration unfairness and the gods unfair attitudes towards their children. like the moment when percy thinks that it might have been his ADHD acting up when mrs. dodds got up the stairs quicker than humanly possible. there's also less foreshadowing for mr. brunner being chiron, like the pen turning into a sword isn't even properly shown hello the pen suddenly having magical properties could be completely divorced from mr. brunner gifting it to percy.

there's just. a lot. of character work I'M LITERALLY SCREAMING IT'S NOT EVEN A HARD SCENE JUST PLEASE WHY IS THE SHOW ALLERGIC TO TENSION LIKE PLEASE

but they don't add in the conversations, they don't add in the moment of self-doubt, they don't add in mr. brunner. mrs. dodds just approaches menacingly. in broad daylight. like sir. the mist can cover a lot but it showed ares as a kidnapper. it doesn't make that much sense that it completely erased people's perception of mrs. dodds. like please.

(also idk if this is disney, but i think that it was incredibly frustrating that they really just removed percy's being treated as a delinquent and as a troubled kid. the show begins with the monologue but the monologue is kickstarted by percy being at "Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York." HELLO??? you could have had the exact same monologue but you change it for subpar themes????)

ok so it doesn't work on a character level.

does it work cinematically?

HELL NO.

this scene has already been torn to shreds and back (BUT NOT ENOUGH) so i'll be short. EVEN THE SPY KIDS HAS IMPACT SEQUENCES. ONES THAT LOOK REALISTIC MIND YOU. there's no impact. percy isn't pushed down by mrs. dodds, he just. trips? ig? silently? without any noise? ahahaha the lack of noise??? someone else has already mentioned the lack of noise but yeah once you hear (or don't hear) it, you can't un-hear it.

ahahahaha

ok but surely the show improved as they went on, as the filmed more etc etc. sure. but like. also no. (and also though i'm sure they did film these episodes in order lets also keep in mind that filming is not always linear)

ARES FIGHT SCENE WOOOOO LET'S GO

ok i did lose the video (i looked for it i swear, i took 30 min trying to look for it, which really isn't that long but yeah) but a lovely tumblr user here (i think i know who it was but i don't want to be embarrassingly wrong) edited the ares's fight with his internal monologue and an awful recorder rendition of that one song from the titanic and it really does encapsulate my thoughts. but yeah if you aren't familiar with the video.

when i was watching the final episode i swear i was trying to turn all critical brain functions off but it was really hard for me not to notice the increasing amount of time that ares just lets percy get up. i just watched dune (second part) so i was spoiled for good fight sequences but something i did notice was that in dune, when there is a pause in a fight it is FOR CHARACTER REASONS. the characters are DELIBERATELY NOT ENDING THE FIGHT. and that was not the impression i got from ares. it really wasn't.

and that took away from his authority/menace as a god ngl.

so yeah was the fight better than the dodds fight. 100%. like 500%.

does that make it a good fight sequence.... ehhhhhhhhhhhh....

(why did the scenes with luke have more tension than the ares fight hello)

and character wise. assassination. all the assassination. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE CULMINATION OF PERCY'S CHARACTER ARC AHHHHHHHH. sorry. but like this was the point at which percy decides he's done running. and stands up to ares with all the taunts and quick thinking that we know him for. unfortunately the show thought itself better and erased that theme ahaha.

so this really is just a fight for the helm. no big reveals, no reading the actions and emotions of a god, no strategy, no trying to get to the water and ares stopping him. like

WOULD IT BE SO HARD TO JUST FOLLOW THE NICE LOVELY SCRIPT THE BOOKS GAVE YOU FOR EXAMPLE: shot of percy looking at the water, shot of ares looking at percy looking at the water, maybe a pan to the water here, percy moves towards, ares blocks. YOU CAN IN FACT SHOW BATTLEFIELD STRATEGY IN A MOVIE. BC BATTLE STRATEGY RESULTS IN STRATEGIC FIGHTING. WHICH IS WHAT THE VISUAL MEDIUM IS SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD AT. RIGHT? RIGHT???

ahahaha sorry just feeling stabby i don't really know why. anywho off to the senate meeting. i'm running a bit late but i did rsvp with a knife sooooo

[crispy-ghee]

I'm like you, I'm not really into sports, but watching that documentary really got me hooked on Larry and Magic, and now I'm facing the urge to watch old basketball games just so I can see more of them

Haha I'm definitely in that boat, and it was probably also spurred on by the documentary. I think I saw the clip of them talking about Magic's HIV Diagnosis first and then went "...okay I...I need to find out what all of this is about," ended up watching the full documentary, and it's just been me seeking things out and absorbing as much as possible for the past however long it's been.

I've leveraged all of that into an excuse as "research," at least, since I'm allegedly working on a comic ahahaha

So I can say "So while I was doing research today..." instead of saying "so while I was spending hours watching old footage for no reason today..."

Anyway, welcome to the club. Wish there was more of us in it, but I'm doing what I can! Have a random picture of Magic and Larry for your trouble.