#kaveh angst | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

honeykaes · 2 months

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dark red

kaveh x reader II 2.0k

warning: smut, 18+ content, minors do not interact, afab!reader with no set pronouns, heavy angst, character death, hurt no comfort, implied severe depression and untreated mental illness, face-sitting, cunnilingus, body-worship, praise, masturbation, unhealthy coping mechanism, implied alcohol use, unedited

synopsis: kaveh feels as though his life is completely falling apart when he is greeted to a cold and empty home after work, only for you to appear with a smile.

❝ 𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐮𝐩, 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐮𝐩 ❞

Kaveh couldn’t remember the last time he genuinely smiled. His head felt as though it was spinning as he trudged his way back from meeting a client all day; night full present in Sumeru City. His brain pounded against his skull in loud thumbs that matched his heartbeat. He dug through his pockets, fumbling to feel the familiar cool metal of his key before pulling it out.

Tears pricked at his eyes, overwhelmed by everything and everyone at the moment. His shaky hand struggled to put the key into the hold multiple times before it slid. He lifted his arm to wipe the tears that didn’t go away from his brisk blinking. Trying to blink them away as some managed to escape and cascade down his sun-kissed cheeks, he turned the knob and opened the door.

Silence and darkness greeted him. Not a pin-drop, not a footstep, not a breath beside his own.

Who would have guessed that the most famous architect in the region had a soulless home for himself?

Kaveh let out a sigh as he turned to close the door and flick the switch of the room on. With one deep breath, he turned around to see you in front of him, smiling and head tilted to the side in curiosity.

As if it was magic, just seeing your eyes made him feel lighter—your smile like the sun of the desert soothing the darkness that wanted to consume him. His eyes softened, slowly walked up to you before letting his arms wrap themselves around you.

“Archons, I missed you…” he murmured, face pressed against your hair spelling the slightly familiar scent of your hair products. You chuckled, returning the gesture.

“How was your day today sweetheart? You don’t seem like you’re in the best of moods if I’m being honest,” you admitted. Kaveh huffed—letting himself stop holding your body—moving to attention on your hands as he felt them tenderly.

“No, just my client. Rich and egotistical as the last one. Every conversation with them is: ‘give me the most expensive thing’, like that’s the most important thing? Practicality and beauty have to work harmoniously,” he scoffed, eyebrows creasing in annoyance.

“I think they just want to sell it off after I work on this building for probably double the price! I would have dropped this case already but…I need the money,” he groaned—closing his eyes—feeling your hand slipping away from his grip and brush against his cheek. He leaned against the touch, slightly pouting.

“They sorta remind me of someone we know…” he scoffed. You let out a laugh, patting Kaveh’s firm chest at his response.

“Come now, you got to give your old roommate some slack. He moved out and let you have this place to yourself. Alhaitham couldn’t have been a monster if he did that for you,” you reminded. Kaveh pouted and sighed dramatically once more, lifting his hands in defeat.

“Fine, I’m not going to talk about him tonight. I got enough stress as it is,” he muttered. Smiling once more, you leaned over placing a kiss on Kaveh’s cheek as his eyes softened once more at your figure.

“Why don’t you go ahead and eat something? Knowing you, you probably haven’t eaten all day again haven’t you—”

Kaveh hummed momentarily pondering your suggestion, letting his hands reach out and travel to your waist, before interrupting you.

“Honestly, I’d rather get my fill from you. Work was…difficult. I could just use you in my arms for a while,” he revealed. He leaned in as your noses brushed against one another, before slowly moving to claim your lips. The sweet bitterness of booze was on his tongue, as your heads tilted to get closer to one another. His hands pinched at your waist, as he felt your lips curl upwards in the kiss.

When you two leaned away, your lips were glossy—a string of saliva connecting the two of you.

“So please…indulge me for a little while…”

The two of you made haste to the bedroom. You sat on the bed, grabbing onto part of his cape to bring him closer quickly. Your hands made their way under his firm, feeling the cool, smooth skin of his body before helping him lift the shirt off of him. Kaveh hummed, feeling your fingers graze from his pectorals down to his abdomen, tracing the defined curves of his V-line.

Kaveh shivered as goosebumps coated his body, cock beginning to brim with life as it pressed against his black slacks. As your hands settled on the waistband of his pants, Kaveh gently grabbed them to stop them from going further.

“Not this time lovely. Like I said, please let me indulge myself,” he cooed. With a gentle touch, Kaveh slowly began to peel the layers of your clothing off of it, letting them fall and adorn the tile floor.

He slowly crawled on top of you, letting his lips brush against the various curves and imperfections of your body. His touch was delicate, tracing around any freckle, any mole, any birthmark as if to say he noticed and loved them too.

“You don’t know how lucky I am to have you in my life. I’m so grateful for every inch of you,” he whispered, lips making their way to your neck. He smiled, feeling your body trembling, as his thumb grazed against your slit. He could feel the wetness beginning to pool from your cunt.

”Think you can do something for me joon-am…” he whispered in their ear. You curiously nodded as he plopped himself on the bed, hand stroking at your thigh.

”I’m going to need you to sit right here for me darling…” gesturing to his smiling face. You snorted, feeling your face as your laughter filled the room. His cheeks reddened, yet he couldn’t bother to focus on his embarrassment when your laughter sang out as a song to him.

”So that’s what you meant by meal…” you replied. Kaveh chuckled, slightly embarrassed as he rubbed the back of his shoulder nervously.

You shifted your body, so your hips hovered above his face. You saw you shiver as his hot breaths stared at your wet puffy folds, begging to be savored and appreciated. His hands snaked up to your waist as he opened his mouth wide before you gently let yourself sit on top of it.

A gasp is ripped from you as Kaveh’s tongue swirls against your drooling slit, lapping up any bit of your slick that managed to fall in his mouth. He flattened his tongue against your clit, swiping the muscle from side to side. You grabbed onto the sheets as your hips shifted and ground on his face, desperate for any more friction.

Kaveh's hips bucked, as precum began to smear, causing a spot on his pants to darken in color. You guide his hands from your waist to the mounds of your chest. He slightly squeezed them, rolling your pebbling nipples with his thumb as he continued to lap you up.

His lips circled against the sensitive nub, sucking on it while he let his tongue roll fast circles on it. Another loud moan is ripped from your lips—your pitch getting higher and higher. He knew you were getting close.

He sucked, letting the loud noise of slurping your essence to join the sinful harmony of your moans before continuing to suck and toy with your clit. Your thighs pressed against his cheeks, nails raking against the satin sheets of the bed before your back arched.

“Kaveh. Kaveh! ‘aveh. Kav-ah…!” you babbled out, shutting your eyes tight. Your body trembled, finally reaching your high as you continued to squirm on top of his face. He pushed through his jaw hurting to continue to slurp and drink your essence as if he was starved.

As you let out a shaky sigh, recovering from before, you lifted your hips greeted with the dopey smile Kaveh had on his face; the lower half smeared with your slick. You get off of him, allowing him to take a few deep breaths before wiping his face with his hand, and lapping the excess slick clinging onto him with his tongue.

“Satisfied?” you asked him, propping yourself to the side. Kaveh’s scarlet eyes flickered up to you, grinning.

“Of you? Always,” he murmured back. He let his hands run themselves along the curve of your body, pressing kisses against your neck. With his free hand, he slowly removes his soiled pants and underwear, letting them fall to the group. His cock pulsated, twitching on its own, as it leaned against the globe of your ass. It smeared some of his precum budding at his flushed tip.

Kaveh’s thumb pressed against your puffy folds, pressing one to the side to give him better access. He watched as your hole pulsated before moving his tip against it and slipping inside. He groaned deep in your ear, slowly seething his cock inside of you before he bottomed out. He moved his hand away, resting it between the globe of your ass and your waist.

“Archons, I never want to forget this feeling,” Kaveh whined, leaning in closer in a desperate attempt to get even deeper inside of you. He slowly thrusted, as he continued to wander and appreciate your form. He could feel their warmth sucking them up, urging him to plow harder and deeper inside of you.

He grunted, lifting your leg to satiate part of his urges, watching his cock continue to disappear inside of you—glistening in your essence. Your hand dipped down, grazing against your overstimulated clit as you rubbed tight circles against it. Kaveh could feel your body quiver as you leaned your head further against the pillow, beginning to lose yourself.

“More…Kaveh, please!” you begged out. His cock brushed against your walls. Your body jolted as he rocked himself in a certain spot, walls fluttering and tightening against him. He moaned, continuing to fight the urge to thrust faster.

He wanted to make love to you, not just to fuck you.

Your body began to shift once more as Kaveh’s hand pressed you firmly against him. With a cry, your walls caved down, reaching your high once more. As your walls clamped down against him, his pace grew slightly faster before he shoved his face in your nape. With a muffled groan of your name, his hips bucked one final time.

”(Y/n)...(Y/n)....(Y/n)!”

As white-hot pleasure flashed throughout him, snapping his eyes shut, his hips rocked as ropes of cum shot from him. He sighed, staring down at his hand tightly wrapped around his softening cock.

The once euphoria that hit him seemed to be gone in an instant, the familiar cold and dark house back here again.

How long had he been hallucinating you to cope? How many months has it been since you passed?

You would never be there to greet him from work as he complained about clients, his old roommate. You would never be there to motivate him to take better care of himself. Remember to eat, not drink as much, not take life as seriously, and enjoy the moment.

As Kaveh sighed, moving his head to press against your old pillow, tears began to welp in his eyes once more.

Your scent that once kept him okay seemed completely gone now. He tried so hard to mimic your old oils and lotions but it was always off. Why couldn’t you have left him with that at least? At least he could fall asleep better pretending you were sleeping soundly next to him.

It never was that same scent you used when you were alive, lying next to him without a care in the world…

…And a smile on your face.

His bloodshot eyes flickered to a picture. A photo of you and him, smiling brightly underneath the ornate sugar cloth at your wedding.

He couldn’t hold back the tears anymore

Kaveh curled in a ball, tears pouring from his eyes as if it were an endless faucet. His body trembled, hands covering his face—exhausted and incomplete; alone and so lost without you.

After all these years, it seemed he finally understood his mother.

❝ 𝐎𝐧 𝐦𝐞, 𝐈 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲 ❞

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact smut #genshin smut #kaveh x reader #kaveh smut #kaveh angst #genshin angst #kaveh imagines #kaveh scenarios

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primofate · 7 months

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10 minute quick writes

(also known as I don't have a lot of time these days but I still have a lot of Genshin thoughts)

Warning: angst, you die

He left for some sort of assignment. A task. Just something quick. Maybe a week or two, not really that long in terms of assignments. You were still lively and had a lot of plans with him when he returned.

But when he returned...You were gone. There was already a gravestone with your name on it. Only your friend was left to explain to him what happened.

"...and it happened so fast, we couldn't even get a letter out to you in time, (his name). I'm sorry. I really am,"

Albedo, Baizhu:

in denial. In so much denial that he doesn't even believe it. You're not dead. You're just waiting for him to REVIVE you, and believe it cause he'll spend the rest of his life looking for that solution.

Bringing you back to life is an obsession now.

"Y/N will wake up in time...You'll see,"

Alhaitham, Diluc, Dainsleif:

doesn't even know what to do.

Has so much anger in himself that he wasn't with you when it all went down. You were here suffering while he was out there on an assignment for someone else. What happened to his promise of always being there when you needed him most? He felt like a joke. A failure.

Everything is meaningless now.

Suffers in silence. As if he wasn't already so closed in before.

Scaramouche, Xiao

seething with rage. not at you. not at himself. but towards your poor friend who is now being held by heir collar.

"Stop fucking around and tell Y/N to come meet me at the usual,"

Your friend tries to explain, but to no avail.

When you don't show up that day and the next, the next and the next...he finally got it.

He wasn't going to see you again.

Gets angry at the world.

Kaveh, Itto, Lyney

Thinks it's a legitimate joke at first.

"Ahaha, good one. No really, I need to talk to Y/N,"

Your friend sees that the conversation is going nowhere so instead opts to lead him to your grave.

Stunned. how could this happen? You were fine. You were well and alive and cheerful when he left and now...he couldn't even see your face. That was it? That's all? Not even a goodybe from you?

"That's not fair, Y/N..." appears to resent you, but in reality just resent the circumstances in which it happens. Feels left behind, and is heartbroken for ages.

Neuvillette, Zhongli, Ayato

"What do you mean?" is his first question. Doesn't quite understand how this could have happened. He made sure you were safe and well when he left. Asks for all the details, the nitty gritty, looking for clues on how this could have went down.

Obsesses over the details of your death for months. Who does he have to punish? Was it avoidable? Was there something he could have done to prevent it? Why? Why when he was away?

Cries behind closed doors, never in public but will visit your grave in an ungodly hour and shed a few tears alone and to whisper:

"Darling, I don't think this pain of missing you will ever go away,"

#genshin angst #neuvillette angst #lyney angst #diluc angst #ayato angst #alhaitham angst #zhongli angst #scaramouche angst #kaveh angst

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dat-bruv-person · 1 year

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-‘๑’- all he wants: kaveh

a/n: I've been gone for quite a while huh... sorry :( Here's some angst <3

gn!reader, poc!reader friendly <3

╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝

Kaveh cries to get your attention -> he wants you to notice him. He romanticises everything. When you two get in a fight, he's so emotional - writing in his diary that he's sorry, the pages tear-stained. He's a little princess, guys, he's always loved royalty.

He's such a pretty thing -> he loves being pampered, especially if you take the lead. He'll cuddle you so tightly and kiss you all over and hold your hands and squeeze them. He's so tired of arguing and losing to Alhaitham, give him a rest.

He looks out the window when he's home -> He wonders if you'll come round to visit. Alhaitham is always making fun of him when he does, but your company is the best. Sometimes he'll fall asleep. It's even worse when it's raining. He draws next to the window, finishes his work there, knits there; waiting for you to come. Don't leave him.

#ainsley's gift pile #ainsley answers #ainsley writes #genshin x gn reader #genshin x reader #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin x poc!reader #genshin x black reader #genshin angst #genshin impact x gender neutral reader #genshin impact x gn reader #genshin impact x reader #kaveh angst #kaveh x gender neutral reader #kaveh x reader #kaveh x gn reader #genshin impact angst

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the-travelling-witch · 1 year

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𝐀 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐘

summary: what do they do and how do they cope after you suddenly go where they can’t follow?

pairings: scaramouche/ wanderer :: venti :: kaveh :: zhongli x gn! reader

warnings: angst, reader dies/ has died, arson [scara], alcohol consumption [venti, kaveh]

genshin impact masterlist || a million miles away- belle

the loneliest [pt. 2 - xiao, kazuha, aether, childe]

𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇𝐄

“Come back to me, and stay by my side I feel my heart shake; come, ease this ache..."

Dull amethyst eyes watched in apathy as the golden flames swallowed the edge of the picture, slowly singeing away your smile, then the arm you had thrown around his shoulders and lastly his hand holding you close by the waist, until only small flakes of grey ashes remained and fluttered to your lover’s feet.

The silence around him was too loud, pressing on his ears and threatening to crush his skull. Letting his gaze sweep through the space you’d once lived in together made his chest constrict like vines wrapping tighter around his ribcage the more details he took in. Every chair, every tea cup, every stray piece of paper brought back memories of you, together with the bitterness of knowing he’d never get to hold you in his arms again.

It was then that he realised, getting rid of all your possessions, every picture you’d taken and every gift you’d given him wouldn’t be enough. Your presence had long since invaded every corner, nook and cranny of this house, the space irreversibly intertwined with you. And now that your physical form had faded, your soul had come back to haunt his every waking moment and to even follow him into the depths of his dreams.

Perhaps this was his divine punishment, the atonement for all the sins he had committed clinging to his newly taken form. Or perhaps it wasn’t you at all, only his mind mocking him for not living any and every moment with you to the fullest, not giving you all of him when he had the chance to.

Whatever it was, he couldn’t take it anymore. He’d have to cut all ties with this place in order to rid himself of the shackles he found himself bound by. Even if it meant reducing the centre of your shared happiness to cinders.

As he laid the fire, meticulously making sure no room of the house was spared, he wondered. How would a real human feel in a moment like this? Would they also feel nothing? Or was it just him, an artificial puppet, who’d only feel numbness at the death of his loved one? Were any of his feelings real in the first place? You’d have deserved someone who actually loved you and cherished your memories, not someone who destroyed the very place you’d called a home.

The flames singed the ends of his clothes the same colour as your photo as he stepped out into the evening breeze, which now carried smoke and the smell of burning wood with it. Even as he watched the roof cave in and the support of the house break away, he felt no sadness, yet the vines seemed to creep only deeper between his ribs, snaring around the place where a heart should beat.

Your lover looked around the area where your home once stood. And it felt like all air had been knocked out of his lungs.

There, between two trees, grew the flower you had loved so much. And was that your favourite dish he could smell? A flock of birds flew overhead, probably to escape the fire, reminding him of the ones you’d fed over winter, the ones he reprimanded you not to spoil.

To his horror, the more frantically he searched for something which wouldn’t bring back thoughts of you, the more images flooded his brain. The force of his realisation brought him to his knees as he stared at the damage he’d done with his mind clear for the first time in days. There was a pressure building behind his eyes and his throat tightened uncomfortably, constricting airways he didn’t need. Was this what happened when humans cried?

“I’m sorry.” It was barely there and completely broken at the same time. The weakness he’d so despised in others overwhelmed him as embers swirled high in the sky.

He was a fool, a complete and utter fool, to think he could ever get rid of you, of his feelings for you. It had never been the house you were bound to. From the very start, your soul had been intricately intertwined with his, and it would continue to be, until he too faded from this world in the distant future. Hopefully, then, you would be reunited and you could forgive him.

𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈

"...I'm standing over here, reaching for you A million miles away, come back and stay..."

Venti had no idea how much time had passed since that day. Not that he as an archon was very good at keeping track of time spans as short as days or weeks in the first place. It wasn’t like he avoided thinking about you, no. He did. A lot, actually.

Before his mind’s eye, the shine of your smile and the sparkle in your eyes as your joyful laughter rang through the air was as clear as day. The days spent lazing around in the grass with cider and apple tarts while Venti hummed a lazy tune filled him with more warmth than the sun. Yet, his smile at the memories didn’t quite reach his eyes, just how his brain never reached the point where he’d seen you last. And he never strained himself to remember it either.

All his actions felt heavy, like an invisible weight was holding him down. Venti was sure if he were to use a wind glider, he’d fall out of the sky like a stone. Thinking was akin to walking through mud, every step hardly leaving the ground and every fibre of his body screaming at him to stop and just lie down.

After your funeral was held, most of Mondstadt’s citizens reckonned they’d find the usually playful bard at the tavern even more often from now on. At first, that was true. Venti sat down at his usual table and ordered what he’d always ordered but the other patrons quickly caught on that he wasn’t doing okay at all. Normally the centre of attention and excitedly talking to anyone who’d listen, it was shocking to see the bard stare down on the contents of his glass in silence.

So it came as quite the shock when after a few days, Venti didn’t show up to the Angel’s Share anymore. In fact, he was hardly spotted around the city at all. It was mostly the guards from the morning and night shift who saw him come and go. When he left, there were only two locations where one could find him. Either on the windy peak of Starsnatch Cliff or in the arms of the tree at Windrise. Both would do, as long as he was away from the pitiful glances people would throw him.

On that particular day, Venti was mindlessly strumming his lyre to the sound of the rustling leaves as he overlooked the planes of Mondstadt, not actually taking in any of the sights. His mind was here and there, not lingering on any one thought very long. Before coming here, he’d overheard people in town wonder about the wind which had recently picked up, how it tasted a lot saltier, as if coming from the sea, how unusually cold it was for this time of year and how it bit at the skin more. He supposed that was true.

In the beginning he’d brought a basket of apples when he came out here but they all tasted as if he’d taken a bite out of a handful of flour, so he stopped. All the cider tasted bitter and wine only added to the constant pressure building behind his temple. So Venti eventually gave up on trying to find something he could stomach. It wasn’t important to an archon anyway.

The melody his hands subconsciously called into existence snapped him back into the present. It was a song he had started writing with you as his muse, a song he’d not yet shown you, wanting to wait until it was finished, no matter how much you begged for him to show you already.

Even to his own ears, his voice sounded foreign. As the patron god of Mondstadt’s bards, he’d always prided himself on his smooth and serene voice. But now it was nothing but a hoarse whisper, cracking as he tried to voice the words he’d engrained in his mind. His vocal cords felt raw and burnt after hardly talking to anyone longer than he had to. In the corner of his eyes, the statue depicting his image seemed to mock him; a bard who couldn’t sing, a god who couldn’t even protect a single person.

When he reached the part of the song where he left off faster than he’d like, his hands were trembling and he slumped against the tree bark in exhaustion. Yet, with your memory in mind, he willed himself to continue, to capture your spirit in his art at least, if he couldn’t hold onto you any other way.

Despite his best effort, what started out as a lovestruck ballad quickly turned into a lament, no matter how he filled the lines with affection and joy. He tried and tried, with more vigour than he’d shown in the last weeks altogether, to right the verses, to do your image justice, but it was all in vain. Every version was more sorrowful than the last. When the moon peeked through the twigs, he resigned himself to his fate and cast his gaze to the far heavens above.

“My darling dove, can you hear me?” He whispered into the still night air. Only the distant call of an owl answered him. “I hope this song reaches you all the way up there. I really wanted to play it for you.”

Leaning his head back, Venti was suddenly overcome with a tiredness he hadn’t experienced for a very, very long time. Now was as good a time for a slumber as any, he supposed. Perhaps by the time he opened his eyes again, things would be different and his chest would feel light as air once again.

𝐊𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐇

"...No matter how far the memories may be When I close my eyes, you're all that I see..."

It was his fault.

The reason he’d never get to throw himself into your arms ever again was him, and him alone.

If he hadn’t answered your question whether he’d like you to get the materials he needed for his newest project from the Akademiya with a 'That’d be a big a help, my rose' he could still call you that nickname now and in the future. If he’d just gone and gotten them himself, you’d never been caught up in that horrible accident, an experiment gone astray, as the mahamatra had explained to him. If he hadn’t been so selfish, you’d still be alive.

Deep down, a reasonable part of him knew he wasn’t to blame. His friends had emphasised that as well, nobody could have expected something so gruesome to happen. Still, Kaveh couldn’t accept it. It didn’t feel right to excuse himself like that. You died because you wanted to help him, he deserved to carry this blame, this pain, this guilt.

Despite Tighnari and Cyno showing up to console him, Kaveh turned them away without much hesitation. Grabbing a glass and a bottle of wine, the architect disappeared into his room, sparing his roommate not so much as a glance. This behaviour didn’t change much over the next few days, except for the fact that wine was swapped with coffee, thanks to Al-Haitham.

Speaking of the Grand Scribe, he’d normally be happy to have some peace and quiet, yet, seeing the normally talkative blond isolate himself for days on end made him genuinely worry for his old friend. Neither of them acknowledged the way plates of food would appear in Kaveh's room or how he would wake up with a blanket draped over him which hadn’t been there when he fell asleep.

There was a single instance in which Kaveh spoke and it was only a single word. When Al-Haitham had been cleaning up around the house, he’d picked up a vase holding sumeru roses that had wilted beyond recognition. Just as he was about to discard the flowers, there was a low, muttered ‘Don’t’ that made him stop in his tracks. It wasn’t so much the word in itself as it was the way Kaveh said it. The roughness in his voice was so foreign from its usual melodic lilt, no emotion swinging in it at all.

Al-Haitham faintly remembered how you had brought the roses over one day when you two had gone on a date and wordlessly put them back on the table.

In general, not many of Kaveh’s -and by extension your- possessions moved at all, collecting dust as they lay just like on the day of your passing. The only thing that changed was the growing pile of scrolls and papers littering the architect’s room. In order to get his mind off everything, Kaveh had buried himself in work. Yet, none of his sketches turned out to his liking and he grew more frustrated and irritable the more crumpled or ripped papers covered the floor. Never before had he broken this many pencils as a consequence of jabbing the coal onto his designs and pressing down harder than necessary.

Until he found himself staring down on a completely blank sheet with no idea whatsoever. All utensils were strewn about the space, discarded and never picked up as dreary and washed-out crimson eyes drooped without the mercy of sleep overcoming him. Every time he tried to rest, your face and voice would startle him awake again and he’d choke on the breath he tried to take.

With his hair unkempt, clothes rumpled and dark circles under his eyes, the “Light of Kshahrewar” was merely a shadow of his former self as he hunched over his messy desk. The first sobs tearing through him broke the dam on all the feelings he’d bottled up inside, burning his throat like acid as they tore free. The previously untouched scroll served as a canvas for all his regrets spilling over in the form of falling tears, drawing a portrait of his tumultuous state of mind.

Still, the sinking weight in his chest prevailed, the guilt a constant reminder of the loneliness he couldn’t shake.

𝐙𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐋𝐈

"...Come back to me A million miles away, come back and stay”

Zhongli had been setting the table for when you came home from work, two tea cups already waiting to be used as a kettle of water boiled on the stove. Soon the pleasant aroma of tea leaves and the cheery sound of your voice would fill your shared home, Zhongli plating two bowls of bamboo shoot soup as he waited for you to come home.

Right on time, there was a knock on the door and he quickly made his way over, elated to finally be in your presence again. A genuine smile graced his lips as he opened the door, a smile that fell abruptly when he came face to face with two millelith, their faces decidedly neutral. Still, the air felt ominously sombre.

“Mr. Zhongli?” One of them confirmed before bowing his head as continued. “We are sorry to inform you that there has been an armed robbery. The person who is registered to live here with you has unfortunately not survived the violent encounter. Our deepest condolences.”

After handing him the bag you always carried with you, the soldiers departed, leaving the consultant alone with his thoughts. As in trance, he sat down and carefully opened the bag, almost as if a sudden movement could make it crumble in between his fingers.

Considering his incredibly long lifespan, this was hardly the first time Zhongli had lost someone he cared for deeply. That, however, didn’t mean it was any easier. Parting ways with loved ones was something any sentient being couldn’t get used to, especially if it happened so suddenly.

While his mind had already processed the information, it seemed his heart had a hard time keeping up with what was happening, his mind in a strange limbo between reality and thought as he unpacked your belongings. While turning each one over between his gloved fingers, Zhongli tried sorting out his emotions. Even the sweetness of shared moments replaying in his mind couldn’t sugarcoat the bitter sting of grief taking root in his very being.

The shrill screeching from the tea kettle drew his attention away from the items on the table occupying the space where you’d usually link your hands as you traded stories of what happened in your respective days.

For a few seconds that felt like aeons, Zhongli held the tea kettle in his hand before ultimately deciding to brew tea after all. Perhaps it would help him retain a sense of normality. Before he realised, he’d already filled your cup, an action he was so used to it apparently became routine at one point. With a sigh, he did the same on his site before taking a seat again and watching the ripples of water move across his cup.

When he awoke the next day, Zhongli couldn’t tell how long he had sat like that or when he’d gone to sleep, his motions automatic as if pulled by strings. Making breakfast, getting dressed, staring out of the window into the busy harbour… He was aware he was doing all of these things, yet he didn’t feel fully present, merely looking onto the scene.

Being with you had shown him so much of what mortal life had to offer, your perspective refreshingly different from his own, he couldn’t help but smile melancholically at the memory. In light of your brilliance, perhaps the old god had no chance but to fall in love. Enveloped in your affection, Zhongli had finally felt like he found his place among the people of Liyue but once more this connection had been severed.

In the late afternoon, a knock sounded through the humble abode yet again. This time, however, it was not the millelith.

“Director Hu, what an honour,” Zhongli politely bowed. “Is there a matter in which you need my expertise?”

“No, no, nothing like that,” the young woman said, her crimson eyes seemingly looking straight into him. “I heard what happened, so I came to see how you’re doing.”

“Your concern flatters me, Director. Please do come in.” Stepping aside, he opened the door wider to allow Hu Tao entry.

Gliding right into his living room, she took a seat at his table, gaze sweeping through the room. It was then Zhongli noticed how there were still two cups sitting there, one empty and one untouched.

“Ah, please pardon me. I was not expecting guests on this day.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine. I don’t mind,” she gave him an understanding smile. Naturally, in their line of work, both of them had seen many people suffering through the loss of a loved one and it was an understatement to say grief showed many different faces. “I won’t be taking much of your time anyway.

“First of all, I’d like to offer my sincerest condolences. An incredible person like them will be deeply missed.” Despite the simplicity, her words were fully genuine. “Take as much time off work as you need, your healing is the most important thing right now. And while I hate to bring business into a personal situation like this, you should think about what kind of ceremony you’ll want to hold. When you have an answer, just tell me and I’ll handle the rest.”

“Thank you, that is very generous of you, Director.”

When the house was empty once again, Zhongli gently picked up both cups and poured out the cold tea inside. With the sinking sun dipping Liyue in liquid gold, its former archon commenced his evening ritual. Turning the cup that was supposed to be yours between his fingers, he chose two new ones and set them up with his usual care for details.

As the tea brewed, Zhongli went to retrieve a journal you had gifted him once but which he hadn’t found any use for yet. Taking his place at the now empty table, he dipped a quill in ink as he contemplated what to write.

In the end, he settled for describing his day, just how he would when you’d sit across from him, listening to his stories attentively. He could vividly picture your expression of awe before him, bringing a fond smile to his face. As more time passed, dried flowers or notes you had left him eventually found their way between the pages as well.

Naturally, your loss cut deeper than Zhongli ever could hope to understand. At times it made him feel empty, like the sun would never smile upon him again. And while mourning was an important part of coming to terms with devastating loss, he had learnt over time that wallowing in sorrow and getting swallowed by pain would not honour the life you had lived.

Instead, his priority lay on treasuring every moment where your paths intersected, to preserve a part of you which would remain untouched by corrosion, so you could continue to shine forever like gold in his memory.

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bea-ce · 1 year

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If only I could make you believe you deserve everything

pairing: kaveh x reader (can be read platonically or romantically)

genre: hurt/comfort, angst

summary: life is awful at times. very much so that you end up falling back to bad habits to get you through it. luckily, you have kaveh to help you guide back to the right track.

word count: 4.2k

notes: hii!! first post! (and its hurt/comfort RAHHHH) kaveh might be a little ooc as i havent gotten to him in the archon quest yet, so i apologize for that in advance! i poured my heart and soul and my own personal experiences into this,, i apologize if the comfort is a lil wonky.

title is inspired by Nicole Dollanganger’s song “Please Eat”.

trigger warning(s): mentions of ed/having an ed, descriptive experience of having an ed, mentions of relapsing into unhealthy coping mechanisms, self inflicted harm (self harm), descriptions of self-contempt, descriptions of feelings of unworthiness.

let me know if i missed any warnings

It had been a while since the last time you’d done this. The thought of even returning back to this state was beyond you. Everything had been going so well it seemed. Sure, life still threw inconveniences towards you, but you handled them just fine, you thought.

Clearly not, as you’re now back to restraining yourself from eating and indulging yourself from something that’s vital for you to live. You knew the risks of refusing yourself food, you’d read all about the consequences and health risks of starving yourself.

Yet that is the precise reason you’re doing this.

You know how harmful this is and you know it’s bad. The knowledge of the dangers and harm in doing it is exactly why you continue doing it though: It’s your punishment. A sigh escapes your lips as you try concentrating on the paper that lay before you instead of the numbness that starts taking over your legs and the quivering of your hand. There isn’t any way for you to not notice how your body is screaming out for something to eat. It’s constantly reminding you as your vision is clouded with dark spots whenever you move and how your body shakes as you do any everyday task. Despite its cries for food, you ignore it and open the lid to the water bottle beside you and empty half of it to ignore the ache in your stomach due to its emptiness.

It helps, somewhat, as it fools your stomach for sometime at least. In a shaky motion you place the water bottle beside the pile of assignments you have to finish before the end of this week.

It’s difficult to get anything done when the ache in your stomach extends to the rest of your body, making the most simple task like reading over the text presented in front of you and writing down notes feeling so incredibly demanding on your body. A groan escapes your lips as you lean back into the chair and drag your hand across your face in annoyance. You need to finish these assignments, yet you can’t. Everything feels so hazy and your mind is blank, unable to think of anything other than the feeling of hunger growing more intense.

The bustling from the kitchen can be heard all the way into your room. Usually at this hour you’d sit by the kitchen table and eat with Alhaitham and Kaveh, but you’ve locked yourself away in your room, drowning yourself in work to ignore the deep wretched feelings that linger within you. A faint knock on the door echoes throughout the room as a voice calls out from the other side. It’s Kaveh’s voice, calling out to you. "(Y/N)?" Your name is muffled by the closed door as you turn around in your seat to look at the source of the sound. There stands Kaveh, holding a plate with food in his hand while the other one is still gripping onto the door handle.

Your eyes quickly scan his face before they dart down to look at the plate he’s holding.

It’s too much, you think as you look at the contents of the food. Numbers appear inside your head the longer you stare at the plate, feeling repulsed at the thought of putting anything in your mouth and fulfilling your hunger at the cost of the imaginary numbers going up.

You turn around to face the paper you’ve been staring blankly at for the last hour, waving Kaveh off. “I’ve already eaten.” You answer courtly. You haven’t, but telling him you weren’t hungry wasn’t an option. Kaveh would be reluctant had you answered that you weren’t hungry and placed the food by your table instead. The thought alone that he might do that makes you want to cry and scream in panic. You can’t risk letting yourself indulge in the food that he’s made: You must go through with your own punishment.

Kaveh sighs and grabs the door handle, about to leave and close the door before the sound of your stomach growling bounces off the walls. He stops in his tracks as his grip on the plate tightens. You can feel his eyes boring into your back as you tense up at how your stomach contradicts your words from earlier. A deep terror stirs within you as your thoughts wander off to all the possible reactions you might receive from the blond man at the revelation. You hear how he shuffles behind you and closes the door behind him as he approaches you. You dare not to turn around to look at him, instead you hold up your face above the paper and stare intently onto it, trying to focus on the words that dance around across the paper to ignore Kaveh’s look of pity and concern.

Kaveh is standing right next to you, his grip on the plate is so incredibly tight that his knuckles have gone white. His eyes are soft and laced with worry as he looks down on you, and to be honest; he’s not sure how to handle this situation he’s being faced with right now. He places the plate next to your bedside table instead of the table in front of you, knowing better than shoving unwanted food up your face. It’s not what you need right now.

Kaveh sits on the side of your bed, boring his eyes into the back of your head as he waits for you to do the first move, to begin the conversation. He doesn’t want to scare you off now that he’s found out. He can feel the pain within you. He can see the hurt and the desperation, but he has no words to fill the silence. He doesn't know how he could possibly help you, but he wants to. More than that, he wants to try.

“I’m fine” you try to subside the situation, playing it off to only being a one time thing when it’s clear to the both of you that it isn’t.

Kaveh interrupts you. “You’re not fine.” Kaveh still has the same gentleness to him, but there’s a certain amount of firmness to his words too. It leaves no room for you to slither your way out of his confrontation. “Are you hurting yourself? Are you starving yourself?”

The words feel like he had just physically assaulted you, as if he had pulled out a knife and stabbed you in the chest while twirling the knife around inside of your heart. The words feel as if Kaveh had just falsely accused you of a crime you hadn’t committed.

But the two of you know better than that. You both know that the reason you feel so attacked is because Kaveh is calling you out, and rightfully so.

“No! No. I am not starving myself.” The words come out much harsher than you had intended them to be, sounding defensive and giving yourself away to Kaveh. The pile of paperwork that needs to be done stares at you mockingly as you look down on the paper in front of you that is still blank.

“I’m just- I don’t want to eat.” It’s half the truth. You do in fact not want to eat, but it’s for all the wrong reasons you don’t want to eat. Kaveh sighs as he gets up from your bed and walks up behind you. For a moment he almost reaches out to you, but he draws his hand back and places it on your chair instead of your shoulder, like he had intended to. He’s reluctant to touch you. In this moment right now, you’re fragile, and he must tread carefully so as to not break you.

“Do you think I don’t see it?” His voice is gentle, but there’s a certain edge to it. It cuts right through any excuses that might slip past your mouth to escape this conversation neither of you want to have. The words have you cornered, and as if you were reliving an experience much like this -where you were confronted and you admitted, only to be rejected from the care and help you needed- you feel a need to run away from him. To run away from your home, from the house, run, run and run. But where would you run? There’s no way for you to run away from him, and even if you did: Where would you run?

Would you even have the energy to run away from him with the way your vision would cloud with black spots covering your sight and with the way your legs feel numb?

Reality hits you like a brick as you realize that Kaveh has you cornered and at his mercy.

A hitched breath escapes your lips as you feel your hands and feet going cold along with being overcome by dreadfulness as the situation you’re in slowly sinks in.

“This is unhealthy, and you know it, don’t you?” It’s not much of a question really. His voice is firm, trying to cover up his own shakiness as your condition dawns upon him. “Please.. could you talk to me?” he pleads, letting his hand fall from the chair, down to your shoulder giving it a comforting squeeze. The contact makes you flinch as it pulls you back from your swarm of thoughts, back into the present with him. The words seem stuck in your mouth, suffocating you and preventing you from voicing your thoughts and feelings that you’re left only shaking your head at his request of opening up. Kaveh lets out a sigh as he lets his hand fall from your shoulder. For a moment, you think he’s given up on you and will leave you alone to deal with your misery by yourself; the thought causes you both pain and relief. Instead, he walks around your chair and crouches next to you as he looks up to you from below.

“Please. Talk to me.” he begins as he balances himself on the armrest all while tilting his head up at you. “What can I do to help you? You can tell me anything.”

“I don’t know!” you finally exclaim as your face falls into your hands. You inhale shakily as Kaveh continues to inspect your face for something, anything.

“I don’t.. know.”

Everything around you spins like an unpleasant merry-go-round ride as your vision becomes clouded by the black spots appearing before you.

One of the consequences of not eating, you suppose.

How you wished that you could’ve kept this secret from him a little longer. Long enough for him to not have to have this confrontation with you right now.

Kaveh can only feel pity as he looks at you. You look so fragile right now, so weak. It hurts him to see you so, to see your body shaking from your hunger.

He has a question that he wants to ask, but he feels afraid to. You don't owe him anything, he supposes.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" How do you ask someone why they are harming themselves? How do you say that without it coming across in a terrible way? Kaveh had an immense sense of empathy, but even that had its limits.

"I deserve it."

The words slip out your mouth with ease, as if the question had no other answer but that. Tears that you had been holding back from the moment your secret was out swell up in your eyes and threaten to fall down on the blank, empty paper sheet that should’ve been filled in by now. The dripping of your tears resounds in your head and you pray that Kaveh doesn’t hear how you’re covering your paperwork in tears.

"I deserve it." You repeat the words shakily this time as a sob finally manages to escape your mouth. All you want to do is make yourself as small as possible so you can just vanish from the earth’s surface. But you can’t.

So you do the next best thing, which is curling yourself into a ball while you let the tears flow down your cheeks as your entire form tenses up and shakes from the anguish you feel inside of you.

Several feelings washes over Kaveh. Ones of confusion, concern and guilt.

You don't deserve this.

Nobody deserves to feel so low. And you are so, so very low: starving yourself just as a punishment.

He can't help but feel pity for you. The words come out before he can even stop them from slipping past his lips: "Why do you deserve it?"

He's trying to be kind and supportive, he really is, but it's painfully hard for him to find the right words. It’s difficult seeing a loved one tear themselves apart in front of him all while thinking they deserve to suffer and break.

His question is one not even you can answer. It’s a question that you’ve pondered about whenever you’ve come to your senses after having breakdowns much like these, and each time you’re left with no answer. There's only that part of you, that little tiny voice in the back of your head that tells you that you deserve nothing less than pain and suffering. That this is the only way for you to get rid of the mental turmoil you experience on a daily basis.

That the only way to get rid of the emotional and mental pain is to double the physical pain, and what easier way is there to feel physical pain if it isn’t to inflict it upon yourself; by yourself?

How do you help someone who believes that?

It's not like you can just tell them that they don't deserve it. How could he ever convince you that you’re wrong? How can he convince you that there's a better way than starving and hurting yourself?

How is any of this supposed to be okay for you?

"(Y/N)," he calls out your name, the sound of his voice pleading yet somehow still kind, "(Y/N). There is no reason to hurt yourself. You deserve better."

As if you weren’t already curled into a ball you only manage to make yourself smaller as you cry, your entire form shaking. It's not till now that he's so up close to you that he sees how your body is covered in goosebumps and the bruises that linger across your body. They look self-inflicted and Kaveh can't help but let out a wince as he looks at the bruises that cover your skin.

He tries his hardest to contain his horror at seeing what you’ve done to herself. It looks so painful, so terrible, but it's clear from your shivering, from your shaking, from the way your face crumples - from the way you curl up into a ball so easily - that this isn't your first time.

You’re hurting, and at your own hand.

He doesn't know how to process that. He has never seen anyone do this to themselves. He can't imagine how any of this could be good.

Your grip on your legs only grows tightens as you cry into your knees, on the verge of wailing from feeling how your heart aches. It’s as if someone is tightening their grip on your already fragile heart, and it hurts so very much.

You could handle feeling hungry, and you could handle inflicting pain upon yourself, littering your body with bruises to show for it. Yet you couldn’t handle the feelings inside of you that were crushing you and tearing you apart. You had learnt to handle your inner turmoil by ignoring the feelings until they grew so great that the only way to rid yourself of the demons surrounding you was to hurt them through yourself.

The relief was only temporary, sure, but you’d do anything for the moment of peace in your inferno called your own mind.

He sighs heavily, the sound filled with regret and pity. Kaveh doesn’t say anything and remains looking up to your face as you quickly unravel before him.

This is beyond him. He doesn't know how to comfort you- how to help you. He has no idea what to say or what to do. It’s all so overwhelming - all these feelings of fear and confusion and pity and care - that he doesn't even know how to begin to process, let alone express.

He places a gentle, comforting hand on your knee as you continue to cry. You’re so up in your own thoughts and emotions that you can’t get yourself to pull away from his touch.

It’s not that his touch wasn’t comforting. It was very comforting. And that was exactly why you wanted to pull away from his touch.

You don’t deserve that kind of comfort.

"I'm sorry.." the words come out so weak, putting your broken state on full display for Kaveh. A sob escapes your mouth as you try your best regaining your composure to no avail. Each breath you try and take control over gets interrupted by a sob or a gasp for air.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry” you repeat as you burrow your face further into your knees. Your words are slurring as you’re choking back your cries to get the words out of your mouth.

Kaveh doesn't even understand what you could possibly have to be sorry for. You've done nothing wrong. You've committed no sins worth feeling so terrible for.

But how does he tell you that? How could he convince you of the truth that appears so clearly to him but isn’t as obvious for you?

He doesn't.

How does he convince you to get past these terrible feelings of wrongness, when you’re so very convinced that it's your punishment? How does he convince you to give yourself kindness and care, when you believe yourself so unworthy? How does he make you realize that this isn't your fault, that you haven't done anything that deserves all of this?

Kaveh moves closer to you - so carefully, so slowly. As if you’re something fragile, to be treated with respect and care. Because you are fragile. You’re hurt, and you’re so, so small. All he wants to do is to hold you, to bring you comfort, to hug you, to hold you in his arms. He just wants to lift your heavy burden off of your shoulders. But he doesn’t reach out to do any of that, it doesn’t feel appropriate to do so right now as you’re sobbing in front of him and curling yourself into a ball.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he says quietly. "You're hurting yourself, and that can't be okay. Please," he adds, his voice pleading, "Let me try to help you. You don't have to do this. You don't deserve to do this."

You had always had a hard time accepting other people’s kindness and comfort, it was extremely difficult for you to understand and wrap your head around the concept of being treated with decency and care from another being without expecting anything back in return. The feelings overwhelm you and you feel how you want to throw up from Kaveh’s attentiveness, it’s all too much for you.

You’d rather have him walk out on you and leave you in your pitiful state to fend for yourself. It’s what you’re used to. And when he breaks what you consider a norm, your world falls apart with it.

The tears flow down your cheeks as if they’ll never come to an end.

Kaveh can see it from the way you gasp and wail when his words of care finally register.

It’s written all over your face - your pain, your hurt - it’s clear that you’re not used to being treated with such care and attention. It’s clear that this isn’t something you’re used to; it’s clear that you’re not used to having someone trying to help you.

It breaks Kaveh’s heart to see you struggle like this. He doesn’t know how he can get you to accept this treatment from him, from anyone.

He wants nothing in return; he only wants to help. How can he get you to understand that? How could he ever assure someone that they’re deserving of unconditional care and love when that very someone is so fully convinced that they deserve pain?

"You need help," he says quietly. "Let me help you."

Why do you deserve to suffer, to hurt yourself, when you’ve done nothing wrong? Why are you so cruel to yourself? Kaveh lets the thought wander in his head for some time before he shakes his head in disbelief. He can’t come to any reasonable conclusion as to why you’d be so cruel to yourself. He could only speculate.

Is this why you hurt yourself? The thought intrudes him, as he tries to stay focused on comforting you.

Because you feel like you don’t deserve kindness?

But why? Why wouldn't you deserve kindness? This isn't because of any mistakes you’ve made, is it? Has someone made you believe this? Or is it something that you’ve always thought? Either way, you’re wrong. You deserve kindness. You deserve the world.

You deserve to be treated well.

"You deserve so much better," he says quietly, "You aren't pitiful. I promise you that you are so much more than what you tell yourself you are."

Kaveh places his hands on top of yours as he rubs comforting circles with his thumb on the back of your palms. Another sob escapes your lips at his attempts to soothe your ache. He can feel the way you tremble under his hands as he gives you a gentle squeeze of comfort to stabilize your quivering form, even if it's just by a little bit. He keeps rubbing, still trying to help you. Neither of you say anything and the only thing to be heard in the room is the sound of your rapid breathing and hitched sobs. And while the tremors still persist, your sobs are becoming less frantic. He thinks he might be comforting her just slightly, but it's good enough for now. At least it’s a start.

Kaveh wants to say something, but he doesn't know what to say. He's never been in a situation like this before. He doesn't want to sound like an idiot. But he also doesn't want to stay silent.

He cannot bear to see you like this, and he doesn't want to imagine how much pain you’ve been carrying for you to end up here like this.

He wants so badly for you to be okay. He wants nothing more than to give you his care and comfort. Kaveh gets up from his crouching position and feels his legs tingle from sitting like that for so long, but he ignores it. It’s not important right now. What is, is you and your wellbeing.

He assumes that if you responded positively to having him rub your hand, then maybe you'd respond better to affectionate comfort. Kaveh is reluctant at first. A hug is much more personal, much more intimate than drawing circles on someone's palm. So he asks.

"Is it okay if I hug you?"

You tense up at the request reluctantly. Granted, you and Kaveh would usually greet one another by giving a quick hug with a pat on the back before getting to it. But this was different. Much different from those lighthearted moments you’d share before you go off to wherever you had planned on doing for the day, whether that was taking a walk amongst the streets of the city or just enjoying one another's presence as you work deliberately.

You’re hesitant, and Kaveh is about to reassure you that it’s fine if you don’t want to until he sees a small nod coming from you. Your eyes quickly dart down to meet his before you avert your gaze from him, feeling the shame and embarrassment crawl along your back amongst the other feelings that roam inside of you.

Kaveh is quick to act as he pulls you into his embrace.

He holds you protectively, as if he just holds you close enough to him he'll be able to shield you from the cold, cruel world that's hurt you so. You just want to hold on to him. Just wants him to hold you, to hug you and hold you close to him.

The warmth is so comforting, so very comforting that the little voice in your head tells you that you aren't worthy of this kind of affection. That you don’t deserve to be cared for like this, and a part of you still holds onto that truth. Despite that, you cling onto him as if he were your lifeline, the very last thread that was keeping you from floating away. You want this- you’ve been yearning for someone to hold you like this, and even though a loud part of you disagrees- that part of you that tells you that you’re not deserving of this- you can’t help but bask in his warmth that he provides for you.

The plate on your bedside table catches his eye, long forgotten. The food had obviously gone cold by now. Whatever, Kaveh thinks. It doesn’t matter, he can always just warm it up later. What matters is that he helps you back on your feet and support you through this.

You don’t have to fend for yourself anymore. He’s here now, and he’ll help you through it. He may not be capable of chasing away your demons for you, but you’ll always have his endless support.

He’ll spend an eternity if it means he could make you believe that you deserve everything.

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #kaveh x reader #kaveh comfort #kaveh angst #kaveh hurt/comfort #genshin angst #genshin impact angst #genshin comfort #genshin impact comfort #genshin x you #genshin impact x you

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yrbladie · 4 months

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♡ ﾟ˖ ॱ ▎SOULMATES DOESN'T MEAN IN THIS LIFETIMEㅤ𝅄 🌿 ꒱ㅤwhere you're both soulmates, but don't end up together.

˖ ࣪ diluc, kaveh

warnings ：gn!reader, hurt no comfort, mentions of pining, non fluent writer, they're a fool (for you)

ㅤIt was a pitiful thing really, the way his heart would clench at the thought of you. There was this certain feeling of belonging he just couldn't seem to shake off, he insisted it was perhaps because of the rainy weather, as nonsense as it was. In the end, all his silly thoughts were because of your effect on him, and he couldn't explain why.

ㅤHe had memorized by heart everything that you did. The way every morning you brushed past him, sometimes in a rush, other times seeming to be lost on your thoughts. The way that during mondays your eyes seemed tired and your mood seemed as sour as a lemon. He memorized your usual spot at the tavern and the usual days you'd go there, so that he could always casually slip to you a non-alcoholic drink you seemed to very much need. It was on the house he said, only so he could see the beautiful smile you'd give in return.

ㅤIt was funny, really, the way he would treasure every single one of the words you would say to him. He counted every 'thank you', every 'hello' and every single wretched 'goodbye' you told. And even all the compliments he heard you tell your friends about him. About how diligent and trustworthy he is. If only you could say how loveable he is.

ㅤBut alas, fate seemed to have never taken kindly to his happiness and thus you were gone all too quickly.

ㅤHe still saw your face on the streets, of course, but now there was someone else by your side and suddenly, everything you did was connected with that person. The way that now during mondays you had a beaming smile on your lips while you searched the windows of the shops for the perfect gift. How you always had a reserved seat for them by your side, because you knew they always arrived a little bit late.

ㅤAnd he wished oh so badly he could be the one sitting right there, he wished he could've done something before, when the days seemed short and blissful. When you still looked at him with your eyes filled with stars, when that night sky wasn't reserved for someone else yet.

ㅤBut at the same time Diluc knew, he had it coming for him. He was much too cowardly to take the role of being by your side, he was much too awkward to deserve that seat beside you. So while his tears were still nowhere to be seen, he wished you happiness. And he thought he could be content with that one last smile you gave him, that one last squeeze on the arm that you gave him before jumping on your steps to your partner.

ㅤWith that, he thought he could let you go a tad bit easier. Even if he had to listen to Adelinde point out how red his eyes were on that day when he got back home. On the day that not even Kaeya had the courage to make a joke to lighten the mood, instead he simply gave him a quick pat in the back that just made Diluc feel all the worst. But he knew, it wasn't his brother fault, it was his own.

ㅤHe knew time would someday make the burden lighter, but for now he still had the foolish thought that maybe it was okay to carry you in his heart forever. That his heart would always beat off-sync with yours, that you both would always be on different wavelengths, walking different paths. That maybe, it was okay for him to keep you right where you were on his heart, while yours would always race at the thought of anyone else but him.

ㅤBut who could he blame, really. Sometimes, he supposes, somethings are just not meant to be.

ㅤHe wished to know your heart more than anything, what types of thoughts swirled in your mind as you looked at him. Maybe he looked foolish, standing there with a dumbfounded expression as the one he was eyeing this whole time finally seemed to spare him a glance.

ㅤAnd he almost wished to disappear into thin air as he saw the corners of your lips lift as you went back to your conversation with your friends, your giggle reaching his ears clearly. If only it wasn't for your lovely eyes and heavenly smile. He was simply frozen in his spot, not knowing what to do with himself, or his heart for that matter. His heart that was beating oh so wildly in his chest as he tried to calm down his breathing.

ㅤOn the walk back to his —or Al Haitham's — house, he just couldn't get you off of his mind. Maybe he should've talked with you, asked for your name, if you wished to meet with him again, if you wanted to marry–

ㅤHe shook his head desperately. No, he thought, not now.

ㅤKaveh simply resigned to the thought that it was a once-in-a-lifetime meeting, the type that you'd think back a few years on the future and regret not making a move, because they were clearly onto you too. But then on the next day he saw you again, and in the next, and the next too. And on one of those days you even waved at him and called him by his name like you both had always known each other.

ㅤIt made him wonder if you felt something for him too. If your heart tingled and raced just like his did at the mention of your name. It made him hopeful, for the first time in a while it made him think that perhaps he could have something. That at least, finally, he hadn't ruin something before it even began.

ㅤBut then again, yet again, in the blink of an eye it was gone. You were moving back to your native land in a few days, your entire family was there and your longing for your homeland was too much to bear, he heard you tell your friend, just as he had mustered up some courage to go and talk to you.

ㅤOh, he should've known. He was nothing but yet another stranger that you sometimes saw on the streets, perhaps one you found slightly amusing, but nothing more than that. As for him, you were everything, his every reason to breathe and the source of all his sudden inspiration.

ㅤAnd he should've expected that you didn't even look for him to say your farewells. And he hated himself for getting his hopes up for nothing.

ㅤKaveh refused to leave the house for the next days. He didn't even mind the way his roommate would complain about how he was leaving everything a mess. His room definitely mirrored the way his mind and heart was, a complete broken mess. All his next projects and plans torn and thrown in the trash.

ㅤAnd one day he regretted it yet again. On that day he ran out of the house, with wrinkled clothes and undoubtedly huge bags under his eyes. He looked everywhere for you, asked every single one of the people he saw you hang around with. He only wished to hear something else than that you had already left.

ㅤSuch a fool he was, he could've had at least one last moment, gotten at least a goodbye from you, he could've at least asked that the both of you maintained contact.

ㅤHe had lost a precious occasion and he had no one else to blame but himself for that.

maybe the start of another small series? who knows 🩷 took me a while to write this but here it is

- don't copy or plagiarize, all the content here belongs to me ♡

taglist : @ryuryuryuyurboat , @faesther , @kizakiss (srry if yall didn't want to be tagged for these characters 😭 lemme know for which ones I should tag u for)

if anyone else would like to be tagged on my next posts let me know ♡

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin x gn!reader #genshin angst #diluc x reader #kaveh x reader #diluc angst #kaveh angst

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confusion-star · 7 months

Text

Forgive me not.

======

"What do you mean!?"

"I mean what I mean, [Name]" he rubs his nose bridge "oh and what do you mean?" Hitting the table, he sighs "I was busy with work and couldn't make time for you" you roll your eyes "yeah, just like every rest of our anniversary!"

*slap*

...

"[Name] wait, I didn't mean—" . "Then what do you mean? Did you mean to hurt me.. If you did, then you've done it." Tears swell up in your eyes as you slap his hand away. "... I wouldn't have acted this way if it weren't for you." He moves away from you "It was hard ongoing with my job and where were you? No where in sight!"

You chuckle "Where was I? Where was I!? I was begging on my knees for you to come back and save me for opening death door!!" Tears fell from your cheeks "if it weren't for someone else helping me, I would've been six feet underground!"

"Well maybe that's good for you because I wish you were dead, by the next time I open the next door" He left.

What was going to happen.. I...

As you cried silently, having a heart attack was the last thing you have planned.

Characters : dan heng/feng, blade, welt, Alhaitham, kaveh, cyno, xiao, and any other characters...

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xiaosorbet · 10 months

Text

unreachable (kaveh x reader)

he's with you day by day, but as each one passes, you feel him growing distant. unreachable. you're not quite sure what changed.

content: angst, established relationship, gender neutral reader

warnings: might be ooc ?? also drinking (it's kaveh)

word count: 3.9k

author's note: HI TUMBLR this is my very first post here!!! hello!!!! also my first time writing in a hot minute so apologies if it's rusty. enjoy :)

sunday

you wake up drowsy and cold. the window is open, letting in a cool breeze. the space next to you on the bed is empty. the bedroom door is closed, though from the other side you can hear the sound of sizzling oil on a pan. kaveh cooks breakfast for you on the weekends, since his schedule doesn't allow him to on weekdays. you don't mind.

you go through the usual weekend morning routine. wash your face, slowly wake your body. the weather today isn't unpleasant; the sun hides behind the clouds, but you sense no sign of upcoming rain. kaveh greets you in the kitchen, wearing his pajamas and a smile. you give him a kiss on the cheek, and you chat about the weather while he flips strips of bacon on the stove.

it's just another sunday. unremarkable, but cozy. you spend time together over breakfast, laughing over the slightly burnt bits of bacon. he isn't used to cooking, since he rarely gets the chance, but he always tries his best. diffident apologies are never excluded from his dishes. seeing his shy smile makes you warm and appreciative.

later, you lay on the couch with him, entangled legs but separate worlds. he hunches over his laptop and a sketchbook, working on a project. the same kind he works on during the weekdays, and late into the nights. you tell him he should rest, he needs a break. he could watch a movie with you. you two could go out somewhere. you haven't gone on a proper date in a while, you tell him. it's sunday, he should be free of his work for once.

he waves you off. he's almost done. just a bit more, he claims, just like he always does. his eyes remain glued to the drafts and the blueprints. they don't catch how your lips straighten into a line, too focused on the ones on his screen.

you've been with him for almost a year. there was a time you could draw him away from his work. in the earlier days, all it took were a kiss and a soft plea, and you would have all of him on you, his hands, his gaze, his attention. nowadays you're not sure if he even hears you sometimes.

the rest of the day is uneventful. you do what you can to pass the time. you read a book as his keyboard clacks, his pencil scratches against the paper. he asks if the sounds bother you, suggests that you could read in the bedroom instead, it'd be more comfortable. they do bother you, just the slightest bit, but you shake your head and say you want to stay.

that night, you get ready for bed together. you brush your teeth together, smile at each other in the mirror. you kiss each other goodnight, and sleep with your backs to one another.

monday

kaveh's alarm wakes you. it trills in your ears, long and loud. you aren't accustomed to the sound lately. usually, you wake to your own alarm. this is the first time in a while you've heard his.

the alarm rings on and on, yet kaveh remains still, deeply asleep, lying on his back. you don't want him to wake up. you stare at his face, peaceful in his sleep, not burdened with stress or frustration from his work. those two emotions seemed to be all he would take home with him during the weekdays. something tells you this was the first good sleep he's had in a while.

all too soon, he stirs and wakes. he turns off the noise and plants a kiss to your head, apologizes for waking you, then moves around the room and around your little apartment, getting ready for work.

he leaves early. every day, he must be in his office at 8:00 a.m. to talk to clients, manage whatever building of his is being constructed at the moment, the works. he used to tell you all about it, and you would listen regardless of how much or how little you understood of his work. these days he just doesn't have the time or energy.

on the other hand, you work from home. your job is one that requires only your computer and half of your day, more or less. your own alarm goes off not long after kaveh has left. your days without him are routine and simple. you make the bed, make yourself breakfast, get to work for a bit. some days you clean the house, other days you get the groceries. it's mundane, and today is no different.

you set up your laptop and do your work on the small dining table near the kitchen. your little shared apartment doesn't have enough space for a study, so you and kaveh make do with the rooms you have.

later in the afternoon, after you've finished your work tasks, you decide to cook something for kaveh once he gets home. upon inspecting the cupboards, you discover that you have all the ingredients needed for a simple cream of mushroom soup. it's his favorite. when you finish, you let the pot sit on the stove.

the rest of the day is uneventful. you're used to the boredom. you send kaveh a text, saying you made him his favorite soup. he responds a couple hours later with a thank you.

his job is supposed to end at 5 p.m., but you count yourself lucky if he makes it home before 7. more often than not, he stays at his office overtime, sometimes because clients and contractors hold him up, though mostly because he throws himself into his work and loses track of time. you never saw the point in that, since he always ended up bringing his work home and doing it here anyway.

when he arrives home, he carries not only his suitcase but also an air of dejectedness you've come to be well acquainted with.

you try to comfort him as best you can, but as the months have gone by, your company seems to have less and less of an effect as a distraction from his woes. you sit with him on the couch and ask him what's wrong, but he brushes you off. the usual, he says. that's what he tends to reply with these days, and it's been so long since he's elaborated further that you can hardly recall what "the usual" is anymore.

you miss the way he would talk your ear off about all of his problems, the way he would pass them all onto you for you to dispel them with sweet, comforting words and gestures. you were his rock.

silence stretches between you and him. you aren't quite sure how to break it and even less sure that he wants you to.

tentatively, you tell him a little about your day. there isn't much to tell, and you feel somewhat bad telling him about your job that is less taxing than his. he seems to be listening, but he doesn't have much to say in response. only a few hums and nods. he must be exhausted.

you remember the soup you made him, and you tell him. his lips twitch up into a small smile in acknowledgement, though his ruby red eyes, weighed down by eyebags, hold only his tiredness.

when you set down two bowls of soup on the dining table, soft snores emanate from kaveh's body, now haphazardly draped across the couch. you think to wake him for dinner, but something inside you makes you stop. you don't know what it is, but there's this feeling, a voice in your head saying he'd probably just prefer to sleep there undisturbed. it's not a new occurrence.

so you eat alone. the second bowl goes into the fridge.

tuesday

this time, your own alarm is what wakes you. when you get up, you find that kaveh has already left for work. you guess he slept on the couch all night, because you didn't feel him climb into bed with you, and the sheets on his side of the bed remain unwrinkled.

you go through the usual cycle of work and boredom. nothing noteworthy happens with your work or around the house. you start pondering many things in your free time. you think about how you should probably clean the house one of these days. there's been a bit of dust on the counters, the shelves.

you think about kaveh, who must be working himself to the bone. you know he loves his job. no matter the obstacles he would have to face, all the issues and complications, he would always express to you that there isn't anything else he'd rather be doing.

nowadays… he doesn't tell you much of anything. it's like he closed off. you know he still loves his job. it's been his passion to be an architect his whole life. you don't sense that that has changed, but… something else has. his job has always been a demanding one. you're used to seeing him come home exhausted, stressed. but he confides in you about it less and less. you don't know why.

the question of why isn't a particularly new one. it's been there in the back of your mind, occasionally surfacing on days like this. you never had an answer, so you would usually push it away and pretend like there's nothing to question at all. that's what you intend to do today, just like the countless times before. you don't want to bother him with it anyway.

when he gets home, it's the same, but he seems less tired than the day before. he brought home takeout for dinner, and the two of you make small talk as you eat. you bring out the soup from yesterday too, and he thanks you for it. he apologizes that he didn't eat it yesterday. you wave him off, it's not a big deal.

the conversation doesn't get detailed or personal. any spectator that would happen upon the two of you might not realize that you've been together for over a year. the words that flow between you and him are friendly but not intimate. an unfamiliar feeling seems to tug at your heart, something that feels like sadness or confusion or dread, but you ignore it as you exchange idle chatter.

kaveh offers to do the dishes, but you stop him and do them yourself. he gives you a smile, and you see the tinge of gratitude in his tired eyes.

later, when you're about to head to bed, you bid kaveh goodnight while he hunches over a sketchbook on the couch, and you know he'll probably fall asleep there again.

before you go, you watch him from the hall; he's right there, yet somehow he feels… unreachable. your chest twinges again with that strange feeling. your lips part and you feel like you want to say something, but there's really nothing to be said.

you face kaveh's side of the bed when you lay. you feel a little cold, and the soft light peeking from beneath the door feels so far away.

wednesday

when you wake up, his side of the bed is empty and seemingly undisturbed once again. part of you thinks that maybe he just fixes and straightens out the sheets before he leaves, but you know that isn't something he'd do.

the rest of the house isn't as empty, though. as you make your morning coffee, you idly look around your place. it feels like it's been a while since you've really seen it.

most of it just screams kaveh. he decorated the place when you first moved in. you helped choose some of the furniture, but ultimately, you let him have the creative freedon to do with them as he pleased. some stray sketches are scattered on the coffee table in the living room. next to them, a couple of pencils. you pick up one of the sheets of paper and see a gorgeous landscape drawn on it. a garden with winding pathways and dreamlike flora and a romantic gazebo right at the center.

something seems to gnaw at the inside of your chest. a feeling of yearning. you're not sure why, but this drawing has made you feel like you're missing something.

you miss kaveh. the realization strikes you so overwhelmingly that your grip on the sketch tightens, your frown deepens. you miss him.

so what now?

you sift through a few more of his drawings, most of which are unfinished. as your eyes skim over his messy handwriting on each piece of paper, next to each grand building and humble house, the urge to call him, to hear his voice, to feel him with you becomes too much to bear.

where is this coming from? why are you feeling this? he was with you last night, wasn't he?

no, not really.

…but in the end, you decide to keep your feelings to yourself, and you decide not to call and disturb him while he's at work. though, to at least satiate the gnawing and pulling and dragging in your chest, you shoot him a text saying you hope his work is going smoothly. he responds a little bit later with a thank you, saying he hopes the same for you. and that's enough.

thursday

you're surprised when the first thing you see upon waking up is kaveh's back. the clock on your nightstand reads 3:08 a.m. and everything else is dark, but you can just make out his silhouette lying next to you.

the aching in your heart comes back. you will yourself to push it down and go back to sleep, but it demands to be felt. you feel it stronger than ever, the urge to reach out to him and pull his body to yours and feel him against you. nothing should be stopping you, but you hesitate nonetheless. you prop yourself onto your elbow and gaze at him for a while. even here, mere inches away, he is unreachable. you lean down and ghost your lips on his shoulder and whisper i miss you before laying back down and drifting back to sleep.

when you wake up again, the morning sun colors the bedroom, and you see that kaveh no longer occupies the space next to you. the rumpled sheets in his place tell you that you didn't just dream of his presence there last night.

the day passes by in a blur. it feels like the only thing you're fully conscious of is the dull sadness in your heart. you miss kaveh overwhelmingly. it confuses you how far away he feels even when he's right next to you. it's as if some invisible barrier has grown between you and him. you just miss being close with him.

when he gets home, you expect your heart to lighten, but it only seems to weigh down on you more. you can't help but envelop him in a soft hug when he walks through the door. you hope he can feel some of the yearning in your embrace. he returns the hug halfheartedly. he's just tired from work.

as you have dinner together in the low light of the dining room, you can't help but watch everything kaveh does. he's the same as he'd been since you met him. the way he holds his fork is the same as it was when you first went out to dinner together. all his little mannerisms, the way his body moves with everything he does, it's all so familiar to you. his whole being is chronicled in your mind. you liked to think that there wasn't anything you didn't know about him, but lately, you aren't so sure anymore.

and so it's back once more, the urge to reach out, the urge to ask him so many things and feel him with you again. the feeling that he's so distant despite being right in front of you. unconsciously, your grip on your fork tightens. you watch him some more out of the corner of your eye, unsure. his eyes focus only on his food.

your thoughts and wants whirl around you until you can no longer bear the silence between you and him.

finally, you manage to open up and ask him. why are you so distant lately? why don't you tell me things anymore?

you intended to sound stronger, gentle but still confrontational, but you felt like a little kid as you spoke. like you doubted your own words, that your questions might be unreasonable.

he doesn't give you an answer. for a long time, he stays silent. he stops eating and refuses to meet your eyes. his name leaves your lips, so soft and so small that you think he didn't hear. so you repeat it, more insistently. your mind floods with pleas that lodge in your throat. please. answer. tell me.

seemingly sensing your growing desperation, kaveh looks into your hopeful and pleading eyes, and simply says: i don't know. i'm sorry.

in his ever-familiar scarlet eyes, in that face you know like the back of your hand, you feel like you see a stranger in the windows of his soul.

that night, you toss and turn alone in your bed. the emptiness of it used to be so easily excused as kaveh simply accidentally falling asleep with his work. only now did it occur to you that he might have been doing it intentionally.

your mind feels like a storm of confusion and frustration and sadness. you wish you had the strength and reason to scream at him. instead, hot tears fall onto his pillow where you lay your head.

friday

the day feels dull and empty. you aren't entirely sure what to do. you go through the motions of a normal work day, but it's obvious that you're lost and helpless. you feel weak, being so uncertain of where kaveh stands. you're certain that he still loves you... that maybe he's just going through something within the confines of his own mind. he needs only to let you in so you can repair the rift between you two, so you can heal whatever's broken inside him.

throughout the day, you subconsciously make a vague script of things you want to say to kaveh when he arrives home.

please tell me what's wrong, kaveh.

i'm here for you, kaveh.

please come back to me, kaveh.

every sentence formed is laced with desperation. it feels like you're screaming into an empty cave, no response besides the echo of your distress.

all you want is for things to go back to how they used to be. you yearn for kaveh's eyes to shine with all the love and adoration in his heart like they used to whenever he looked at you. you miss feeling his warm gaze, his strong arms around your body, conveying every ounce of affection he couldn't express with words.

you just miss his love.

strangely, the day feels excruciatingly long, but also as if it passed in the blink of an eye. you're entrapped within the haze of your own longing.

you don't realize how late it is when kaveh gets home. you intend to greet him casually, so that you don't overwhelm him. you intend to communicate your feelings to him over dinner. though you're overflowing with things to say, you don't wish to go overboard.

but you soon forget all of that, because one look at him slightly swaying by the entrance immediately tells you that he's drunk. all your thoughts are instantly replaced by concern. you rush to his side while he holds a hand against his head. instinctually, you begin fussing over him, asking him why he drank, how much he had. you know he's not good at handling his liquor. the redness taking over his face and neck indicate that he drank a lot.

you don't remember exactly when, but there was a time he promised you he'd stop drinking to this extent. one late night, he came home drunk after work, in a state similar to his current one. you fussed and worried about him. you lectured him too. so he promised he would stop, because he didn't want to cause you more distress.

now, you ask him why he's broken his promise. maybe you were right in thinking something was wrong with his work, enough to drive him to drinking again. in your flurry of emotions, you barely give him room to breathe. you seem to briefly forget yourself as you reach up and cradle his face in your hands. gently, you plead, tell me what's wrong.

he takes your wrists and sighs before stepping away from you. your name leaves his lips in a broken whisper. he looks at you, and you see every bit of your desperation and chaos in your reflection in his eyes. his eyes, which are pained, bloodshot, defeated. he apologizes.

you step towards him. you don't want an apology. you want an explanation. he starts by saying that he cares about you. that you still mean something to him, that you'll always be someone important. it sounds like he's rambling.

everything else blurs. the only things you fully perceive in the next moments are the words that leave his mouth and the look in his eyes as he says them, resolute, mournful, regretful.

i just don't love you anymore.

saturday

they say drunk words are sober thoughts. deep down, you knew he'd say those words eventually. you've been in denial for the longest time. always trying to push away the notion that he no longer loved you. you always thought it was impossible, but part of you knew this was inevitable. it didn't matter that he was drunk. you both knew the words have been sitting on his tongue for a while now.

maybe that's why you didn't cry that night. when you went into the bedroom and lied down, yes you were sad, but there was also a sort of relief there. a burden was lifted from your shoulders and his. you no longer have to pretend. as you drifted off to sleep, you felt somewhat weightless.

it's midday now. the gravity of what happened starts to settle in. you lay on the couch, which smells like him, and your tears fall onto the cushions. kaveh is nowhere in the house. he left you with a note, saying he'll be staying at a friend's place. in the note, he promised he'd come back and you two could talk. the tiny naive part of you felt hope that he meant to work things out with you. but you know it's hopeless.

the silence of your home stabs into your ears. you cocoon yourself in memories of him, in sheets with his scent, in his drawings and once endless musings. your heart won't stop reaching for what isn't there. you still don't fully understand how someone could just fall out of love. but there's nothing else you can do about it now.

all you can do is let him go.

sunday

you wake up drowsy and cold. you stare at the ceiling for a very long time. no sounds of sizzling or pleasant humming make their way to where you lie. birds chirp their morning song, car engines phase past.

his world rotates without you.

#help this ended up being so much longer than what i had in mind #genshin impact #kaveh x reader #kaveh genshin impact #genshin kaveh #genshin x reader #genshin angst #kaveh angst #genshin fanfic #genshin impact fanfic #my works #ps i swear i have nothing against proper dialog i just wanted to try smth different akjdhgfakj

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electrosair · 8 months

Note

Heyyyy! Can i request Baizhu, Gorou, Kaveh, Scaramouche, Tighnari, Xiao with a s/o emotionally unstable after someone dear (their teacher/mentor if possible) to them passed away? My teacher passed away a week ago and i've been like a broken record crying out of nowhere. And what's a better comfort than your favs comforting you :,D

Comforting you after a loved one passed away dendro + pyro ver.

english isn’t my first language, sorry for mistakes

characters: alhaitham + baizhu + kaveh + tighnari + diluc + lyney + thoma

word count: 0.4k

Alhaitham

He's usually a very calm person, so when you told him about it his face didn't change, but he put his arms around you and pulled you against him. He's probably not very good at comforting with words, but he's going to let you vent and cry while he hugs you.

Baizhu

He knows how badly you may be grieving, so for the first few weeks he would be by your side most of the time, giving you space if you needed it, but asking you every so often. After that he would try to keep you busy with other things.

Kaveh

He would cry with you when he finds out, and if you cry too, he will cry even more. He doesn't want to be separated from you at any time, he would do everything possible to spend most hours of the day with you. Cuddling on the couch every night definitely.

Tighnari

The worst thing you can do from his point of view is to lock yourself up crying all day, so he would take you out for long walks and tell you things to distract you. But if you really need to cry and talk, he'll listen to you without complaint.

Diluc

He himself has already gone through such a moment a few years ago, so he would know perfectly well how you are going through these moments. He is not a person of many words, but he'd try to comfort you with his presence and small acts that cheer you up.

Lyney

He's already a person who will always put on a good face and try to help you as much as possible, so when he hears about the event he would visit you just to check up on you. It will turn into daily visits where he makes sure you smile at least once.

Thoma

He probably feels terrible just seeing you so down about the news. He does everything to cheer you up, make you laugh, give you massages, cook with you or just be there for you when you need him the most. He's not going anywhere unless you beg him to.

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figgrrr0 · 1 year

Note

oh my lord, thinking abt kaveh who comes home and sees his beloved s/o in his oversized shirt and he suddenly gets so possessive at the sight and just rails you all while youre wearing only his shirt 😩 idk im just head over heels over this pretty man and him being dominant is just muah 👌🏻 ndjwndkskks bonus: i imagine kaveh losing it if it’s alhaitham’s shirt you’re wearing one day instead of his and all hell loose

I will admit rn that I know absolutely nothing about this man, but omggg... he's so gorgeous I can't–

This is longer than I planned but that just shows how much I love this idea. Ty for sharing 🩷

I've never done angst so pls ignore if it's clumsy

Jealous Kaveh

Reader: Bottom!Gn // Genre: Smut, angst

Cw: angst (he thinks you're cheating), rough/emotional sex, slight choking, slight degradation, it gets resolved I promise

Due to your recent antics, Kaveh is wholly unsurprised by what he finds when walking through the door to his room. You, leaning against the wall in a clearly provocative manner, clad in only a shirt so huge on you that the sleeves almost reach your mid thigh.

Rolling his eyes, but unable to hide the affectionate smile that breaks through, Kaveh makes his way over to you. His hand takes its usual place on your hip, though when he pulls you nearer, he can't help but notice that something feels... off. Different.

The odd feeling settles low in his stomach, making him feel almost nauseous, but he pushes it to the back of his mind quickly. He wouldn't want to push you away, especially not when you're looking this good, and obviously trying to rile him up – again.

Kaveh draws you into a kiss, then. It's slower than usual, passing for overly loving, when in reality, his mind is filing through the new information that has so rudely made itself welcome in his mind.

You smell like Al Haitham; or, more so – he notices as he leans down to kiss your neck – the shirt you're wearing does.

Ah, it all makes sense now.

He'd registered that something was out of place as soon as he'd seen you: the shirt itself was of a similar fashion as his own, so while he didn't immediately recognise it, it was a common enough fit that he wouldn't be surprised to see it in his closet. But, even so, the mischievous smile you'd failed so miserably to hide certainly gave away that you were hiding something.

Kaveh wasn't sure he wanted to know what that was.

With a frustrated groan, Kaveh pushes you against the wall, taking care to cushion the back of your head with his hand. He breaks the kiss then, looking deep into your eyes, and the intensity that swirls in his own makes you almost nervous.

He was angry. But, what made you really realise your mistake with this little prank, was the watery glaze of tears that covered his eyes.

Just as you're about to apologise, reach out your hand to encase his cheek in your loving warmth before the situation gets out of hand, he beats you to it.

His hand shoots up to encase your neck, cutting off your words as he presses his lips to yours once again, messy and unco-ordinated – nothing like the kisses you usually share. The barest hint of pressure against the sides of your throat coax you to gasp against him, grabbing onto his shoulders at the threat. But it's not needed, really. Kaveh can make you light-headed with a single look; so how's it going to be this time, when his control has already unravelled, just barely hanging on by a thread that's ready to snap?

Minutes go by like this. You, pressed to the wall and squirming beneath Kaveh's rough handling; and Kaveh, one hand roaming your body in a hurry, the other pinning your tongue down so that you can't try to explain, collecting your drool before it spills.

Finally having enough, Kaveh grips onto the collar of the shirt that drapes over your body, his hand tensing before it jerks with a quick movement– the offensive fabric falling to the floor in two pieces soon after. As if seeing and feeling it weren't enough, the distinct "Riiipp" that sounded far louder than it should have in your ears was certainly enough to glue you in to what Kaveh had just done.

You'd both be in trouble once Al Haitham found out. But first, you'd have to hope you can get through the wrath of your jealous boyfriend before even starting to worry about that.

Now that you'd separated, you could finally see the full effect of the situation in Kaveh's face and erratic actions. He's keeping you as close to him as possible while also keeping you pressed flat against the wall, the fingers that are coated with your spit coming down to press directly into your exposed hole. As impatient as he's feeling, his movements are still sound and practical, making you feel good and forcing moans from your mouth at how different than usual it all feels.

Even though you feel bad for making him feel this way (you really should have thought this through more beforehand), you can't help but enjoy the roughness of his actions. His fingers move fast and hard, scraping deliciously against your walls as they curl inside of you, coaxing you to open up for him. It leaves you clinging onto him to support your balance, your legs growing shaky from the sudden onslaught of pleasure.

But then, it's over far too quickly. Kaveh pulls away before you can reach your peak, hoisting you up until your legs are locked together behind his back. And then, with no other warning, he's pushing into you.

It's instantly overwhelming, the pace he sets from the start a complete 180 from what you're used to with him.

On any other night, you'd describe the sex between you and Kaveh to be making love. Gentle touches and whispered praises, kisses full of passion and reciprocated "I love you"s.

Tonight, he's gripping you hard enough to form bruises, harsh breaths being hissed against your skin, bites of desperation and broken "I love you"s. Except this time, his hand covers your mouth, forcing you to listen as he pours his heart out. Tonight, he's well and truly fucking you.

And it's all because he thinks he's losing you.

As much as you want to take him into your arms and wrap him into a hug so tight that he can't move, so that he has to listen to you as you explain about how stupid you'd been... you know there'd be no getting through to him as he is now.

Of course, if you'd truly wanted him to stop, if he was hurting you rather than sending bursts of white-hot pleasure coursing through your entire being with every rough thrust that smacks against your ass – then he would. As far gone as he is in his own mind, taking out his confusion and anger on you – Kaveh would never do anything to make you uncomfortable. Even now, he's looking into your eyes every few moments, a silent check-in to make sure you still want this. To make sure you still want him.

He's high-strung on emotions, nerves running wild and caught up in the pleasure. The truth is, in this situation, the best thing to do is let him work through it however he needs.

...

A while passes like this, his hands glued to your hips, hard cock slamming as deep into you as possible. Eventually, Kaveh's mind finally starts to come back to him, as he takes in the utter mess he's made of you: eyes rolled back, mouth parted around the moans that are punched out of you with every push of his hips, and nails digging into his shoulders and slicing down to his chest when you're jostled too far.

He's slowing down his erratic thrusts then, worried it's too much for you, that he's overdone it. He's about to pull out, ready to take care of you so that you can have a proper conversation once you're both in the right headspace, when he's completely taken back by your response:

You slam yourself back down onto his cock, begging him not to stop and to be rougher.

And only then does Kaveh realise that this was your plan all along.

No longer is he worried about the security of your relationship or the validity of your feelings for him. You were just being a needy little whore, begging for attention and playing on his frustration with his room-mate.

Now, as he picks his thrusts back up to the blinding speed they'd been before, insults and degradation spills from his lips, mixed with the grounding kisses that you'd started to miss. Now, it was the perfect mix of gentle and rough, old and new.

And when the night is over, cum dripping from your hole, Kaveh will pick up the discarded shirt that got you into this mess in the first place, using it as a cloth to wipe up the sticky mess that drips down your thighs.

Want to send a request/brainrot with me? Check my rules!

Thank you for reading! 🩷

#genshin impact #genshin impact smut #genshin smut #genshin #genshin imagines #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin kaveh #kaveh x reader #kaveh smut #kaveh angst #genshin angst #genshin impact angst #Writing for an ask~🩷

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forsh4dow · 1 year

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me waiting for more kaveh x reader content on tumblr

#kaveh x reader #kaveh smut #kaveh fluff #kaveh angst #genshin impact x reader #genshin fanfic #genshin x reader

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actiniumwrites · 9 months

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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐋𝐂𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐑𝐙𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐘

synopsis: you and kaveh were best friends for years, studying together at the akademiya and working side by side as established architects. after the devastating incident at the palace of alcazarzaray that leads to a harsh falling out, neither of you have seen each other for years. it isn’t until one day, when a multi-millionaire offers the two of you a job that could flip your lives around, that you’re forced to reconcile and maybe even become something more

characters: kaveh x gn! reader

wc: 10k

warnings: angst, fluff, ex best friends to lovers, arguments, drinking, mentions of vomiting and blacking out, mentions of being drunk/ tipsy/ alcohol in general (nothing major), swearing, inaccurate and unrealistic depictions of architecture, probably general writing errors (since this is 10k words and i’m not proofreading it three times)

notes: um so basically i got this idea one day when i was staring at the genshin map and then suddenly an entire plot just entered my brain. and y’all know i love writing fics that somehow shove the reader into the lore and then have a super angsty dynamic with one of the characters 💀 anyway, this somehow ended up being like 10k words and took me 3-4 months to finish, but i told myself i had to finish it before fontaine came out, so here it is!

“Delivery!”

The sound of beads being pushed aside and footsteps padding against the wood floors alert you quickly. Your head rises from the arm it was leaning on to meet the face of the mailman who never failed to show up weekly with a smile on his face. It’s friday and it’s dark out, the moon peers through the window, but this happens every week. Same day, same time. Always the last delivery. Always at 8 PM sharp.

Your hand reaches to the left to dip the pen you’re holding into the black liquid in the tiny pot by your elbow. Without hesitation, you’re signing off on the sheet of paper he’s given you. When you return it, you find him giving you a smile and placing the boxes and a few neatly stacked envelopes on the counter. He walks out soon after and you call out to him, “Thanks for stopping by!”

But as soon as he’s out of your eyesight, the smile on your face drops back into the bored expression it was in before he entered your shop. A sigh escapes you as you carelessly sort through the mail, tossing the boxes to the side to look through later, already knowing it was just shipments of product for your tiny store. If you were being honest, you were ready to just set all of it to the side and head home for the night, but you carried on. Dark bags and gentle creases made theirselves at home around your eyes as you stared down at the envelopes. A deep exhale falls from your mouth as you tear each and every one of them open to look at their contents. Most of it is nothing new, aside from the very last one that has bright red peeking through the paper.

EVICTION NOTICE

“Fuck,” you angrily mutter to yourself, “this better be some sort of sick joke.” But it becomes very apparent it isn’t a joke as your eyes scan over it. There’s a burning sensation behind them when you finish reading it. It lands harshly against the counter when you slam it down, crumpling a bit at the middle. You knew you were barely making ends meet, but this? This was a whole new level. The house you had been renting was small. It barely even fit you and the little things you had left after selling most of it off. The rent was cheaper and the place wasn’t great, but it worked. If you were being evicted from this, where were you supposed to go now?

The shop you had was too small and wasn’t safe for sleeping in anyway. The thought of crashing at one of your friend’s place crosses your mind, but having to rely on them sounds less than appealing. Besides, many of them would be far too inconvenient. Tighnari had been a long time friend of yours, but he lived too far from the city which meant you wouldn’t be able to get to work on time. Same with Candace, or even Dehya, who resided in the desert. Of course, there was Nilou who was always wiling to offer you help, but you know her place isn’t big enough for two people and she needed her space for dancing. Then there was Alhaitham. That option was an absolute no for many reasons, but mainly because of the fact that he lives with your ex-best friend who was the entire reason you were in this mess.

“Ahem,” someone awkwardly clears their throat in front of you.

You jump back and away from the counter where the cursed piece of paper sat. The notice had completely distracted you from the fact that someone had walked in. Noticing you had knocked down an envelope in your sudden retreat, you reach down to pick it up while addressing the person, “I apologize, but we’re closing in around two minutes. I’m afraid you’ll have to come back tomor—“

Your sentence falls short as you rise from the floor. Red eyes stare back at yours, one of the prettiest shades of red you have ever seen. You could never forget those eyes.

Speak of the Devil.

The blood in your body runs cold when reality finally smacks you in the face, “Why are you here, Kaveh.”

It’s less of a question and more of a demand. You watch as his brows furrow and you can’t help but wonder if he was expecting you to be friendly with him. If he was, it wouldn’t surprise you. Kaveh was always like that — trying to see the best in people no matter the situation.

“It’s…uh, it’s been awhile,” he stumbles over his words awkwardly. It’s unlike him, you think. From what you can remember of him, he never really stuttered or mumbled unless he was drunk. Loud and clear was always more of his thing. He wanted to make sure he was known. Maybe he changed, but for the sake of his own good, you really wish he hasn’t.

“Yeah, it has,” you purse your lips as you turn around and take the boxes the delivery man had brought to the tiny back room of the shop. Earlier you decided you would deal with them tomorrow, but honestly, you’d rather deal with them right now than with your ex-best friend, “I won’t ask again. Why are you here?”

Kaveh clears his throat and averts his eyes. You watch as his hands begin to interlock and fiddle with each other. His weight keeps shifting from one side to another as he speaks, “I need your help.”

You look at him incredulously and scoff, “No.”

“What? You haven’t even heard what I have to say yet!”

“I said no,” you stand firmly, furrowing your brows at him as you gesture to the shop around you, “Don’t you see what my life has become? I don’t care what you want or need help with, I’m not helping you.”

Kaveh glances around at all the little shelves. There’s a bunch of tiny models and little figurines, things he assumes you designed yourself. You were always talented at that sort of stuff. He preferred the flat blueprints while you had a knack for creating 3D models filled with details like no other. It was no wonder you had used that ability to your advantage.

He notices how small it is. There’s other vendors around your shop, he noticed them as he came in. They all had bigger shops with more shelves and more room, better organization even. He liked yours though. As much as Kaveh enjoyed extravagance, the warm home vibe your store gave outmatched the others. It reminded him so much of the way you made him feel back then. Even so, he can’t help but see what you were talking about. This store isn’t what your talent should be wasted on when you were destined for far more. Both of you were. Yet here you are, both barely scraping by.

“I know and I don’t really have the right to be asking you for this, but will you please just hear me out first?” He begs with desperation in his eyes. You sigh and look off to the side before giving him a slight nod, a gesture for him to continue on.

“There’s a man named Zakai, a multi-millionaire businessman here in Sumeru who’s looking to have a custom mansion made for himself and his pregnant wife,” he explains. It’s beginning to sound all too familiar far too quickly and you can feel your willingness to let him explain slipping away from you.

“Kaveh.”

“Just listen, okay. He sought me out but wanted you too. Said something about admiring our work on the Palace of Alcazarzaray and he wants something similar but smaller with a different look.”

“Are you joking? No. There’s no way,” you refuse, waving your hands in the air as you shake your head.

Kaveh continues to plead his case though, “He’s not like Dori, I swear! He actually has empathy and his request is a lot more reasonable. Besides, there’s a lot of money involved in this. Even split between us. It would cover the debt we owe. Guaranteed.”

“You’re empathetic, Kaveh, and you’re a perfectionist. Millionaires don’t care about us. Can’t you see where this is heading? I don’t know about you, but I am not very fond of the fact that I’m wasting my life away trying to work off an insane amount of debt. What happens if another mistake occurs in the process? Hm? Our lives will be ruined ten times more than they were last time and I’m not willing to take that risk.”

“Ten times worse? Really?” He exasperatedly scoffs, throwing his hands up in the air dramatic as ever, “Of course I hate how I live right now. I mean, c’mon! Honestly, who wouldn’t? But you and I both know we don’t really have anything left. Take a look around you and tell me you wouldn’t take the chance to get out of this mess.”

The glare you’re sending him is icy cold, Kaveh falters a bit under it, but you both know he’s right. There’s a plate full of money right in front of your face and you’re so close to being able to call it yours, and yet you’re denying it? A life without debt is nothing but a dream to you at this point, one you’ve had nightly since you watched all your money slide away from you and down into Dori’s mischievous little hands.

Kaveh tests the waters when he speaks again after the brief silence, “You’re the only other architect in Sumeru that is capable of working on this job. You saw what we accomplished on the palace. We can do it again, no mistakes this time. And if it does happen…then I’ll take the fall for it. I’ll take the fall for all of it.”

Your brows furrow and you sigh for what felt like the thousandth time. The small part of you that was his best friend from all those years ago reaches out to him, “You know I can’t accept that, Kaveh. We may not be friends anymore, but I’m not going to watch you destroy yourself all over again if something goes wrong.”

“Please,” he pleads, entirely brushing off your words, “I’m doing this for the both of us. If you want out at any point, then we’ll back out together. Just…consider the offer, okay?”

The red from the letter catches your eye again and something suddenly feels like it’s pulling at your heart. An eviction notice followed by a job offer promising wealth feels like one big coincidence, but it’s not one you can ignore. You really didn’t have anything left now — aside from the tiny store you had going. And if this does turn out to be a success, your life would be entirely back on track to what it was all those years ago. You could live freely again.

One more glance at Kaveh finalizes your decision.

“I’ll do it.”

The next few times you meet with Kaveh seem to bleed well into the night. Blueprints are scattered across the floor of your shop during the after hours, a closed sign out front. Your legs are crossed over one another and your head rests atop your hand. Kaveh is standing up, muttering words you can’t quite make out.

“No…that won’t do, but…well? Dark wood? Ugh…wait! No, nevermind,” he paces back and forth, sifting through papers in his hands.

You place the outline you were looking at on the floor and glare at him coldly, “Can you stop? I can’t focus.”

Kaveh sighs and sets down the blueprints he was holding in his hand, “Sorry, I just can’t make up my mind.”

“Clearly,” you mutter.

“Here,” he picks up a pile of sketches off the table and hands them to you, “What do you think of the wood choices on these? Oh, and the color of the paint we’d use on the outside.”

Your eyes inspect them carefully as you flip through each one. They’re all relatively the same aside from a few of them. The ones that stand out the most to you are the simple ones. They’re darker and more elegant looking, exactly what this guy seemed to want. On the other hand, the rest of them are more flashy and had an air to them you couldn’t seem to take a liking to.

You slide him two of the papers, side by side and tap each of them simultaneously, “These two. They’re cost effective and fit what he wants. I say we go this route, but maybe with some slight changes.”

“What? No! Those should’ve been scrapped,” Kaveh’s eyes widen at your choice. He scrambles to grab the papers back but you slam your hand down on them before he can.

You squint your eyes, “What do you mean? These practically check everything off his list. How are we going to deny the client what he wants?”

Kaveh groans and a hand slides down his face, “These don’t even look rich. It barely screams money at all! We’re making a house for a rich man and you want to do something this simple?”

“Yes! This is literally what he wants! And it does look rich. Just because something isn’t bursting with color and fancy embellishments everywhere does not mean it doesn’t have opulence to it!”

Kaveh’s face visibly falls at your response and he can’t help but be reminded of all those years ago when you were still friends. Sure you still argued then, but it wasn’t like now. You weren’t hostile toward him and he could stand to make some changes based on your suggestions. But now, it felt like everything was going in one ear and out the other.

“What if we compromise?” he asks regretfully, not willing to give up what he wants, but still wanting to get this job done. Contrary to his cynical and provocative roommate, arguing was not something Kaveh enjoyed, and Kaveh didn’t want to strain your relationship any more than it already was.

You hesitantly nod and point to each of the sketches, “Okay, which parts?”

“Keep it extravagant, use cheaper materials?”

“No, I just said that isn’t what Mr. Zakai wants.”

“Well then what are we supposed to do?”

You roll your eyes when he isn’t looking. Sometimes it felt like you were arguing with a child.

“Simple. Choose the more plain design and maybe add a few more embellishments, while keeping it cost effective.”

Kaveh inwardly groans, but stops himself from saying anything else. He thinks for a moment, going back and forth between different ideas in his head. There’s a temptation to just grab the sketches and run off with them, leave you in the dust and forget all about your past with each other. It’s the same part of him that sits on his shoulder, whispering in his ear that maybe, just maybe, all of this is a mistake.

The other part yearns. It’s something he can’t help as he stares down at the sketches, but really, he’s looking at you from his peripheral vision. He misses the way things were when you were best friends. When you would laugh for hours on end with each other, talk about the big mansions you would build for each other some day, and the lives you were going to have. All of those visions, every thought he used to have, they all included you.

Kaveh doesn’t remember when things got so bad between you. Yes he knows the exact date, the time, the place it all went down. But when did you start really hating each other? When did your smile begin to fade into a frown whenever he showed up? And when did he start feeling a painful ache in his chest whenever your name was mentioned?

Why do things have to be the way they are?

Kaveh shuts the door in the temptation’s face. He wasn’t going to run from you or shove everything aside like he normally would. If he was granted any wish in the world, it wouldn’t be to get rid of his debt or become the richest man in the world. Because Kaveh would let himself he the poorest man in the world if it meant he could be with you again.

Mr. Zakai had come to him with an opportunity of wealth and opulence. It would make them one in the same if he could play his cards right. Wipe away his debt and his past. He could be free again. But more than that, Kaveh would have you back.

And as his ruby red eyes catch yours once more, he realizes there is nothing more that he wants than you.

“Wow, I mean, Archons. This design is just unbelievable.”

Your eyes widen ever so slightly, not quite sure if you should be scared or relieved. Mr. Zakai’s tone doesn’t give away what he’s feeling, and you’re terrified. Kaveh swears he can feel you shaking next to him in anticipation…or maybe it was the anxiety. He glances once your way and then back to Mr. Zakai before glancing at you again and awkwardly laughing, “Ahaha, I hope that’s a, uh, good ‘unbelievable?’”

Mr. Zakai throws his hands in the air and laughs brightly, “Yes, yes! Of course! This design is utterly beautiful. It’s like you took the picture from my mind and captured it right onto a piece of paper.”

Both of you sigh of relief simultaneously, clutching a hand over your hearts, but smiling nonetheless. “That’s wonderful to hear,” you say and gesture to the open land behind you that has long since been designated as the construction site for his home, “If you’d like, we can get to building as soon as possible. We already have a team prepared and everything. Just say the word.”

“Let us begin!” he cheers.

Beginning to build the actual mansion was like a dream come true for an architect. The smoothness at which everything was running was beyond belief for the both of you. All of the materials had been safely delivered with care, and although they weren’t the best of the best, they without a doubt exceeded Kaveh’s expectations. Alongside that, the plot of land being used was absolutely beautiful and the perfect place for a home.

It was a perfect distance from the main city, nothing too arduous to travel to. There was a beautiful lake nearby that was adorned with various flowers, fish, and fruit trees surrounding it. And the best part, there weren’t any cliffs or waterfalls nearby. No signs of a withering zone either. It was something Kaveh had specifically checked for before accepting the job, terrified of having a repeat of the entire incident that put you both in this mess.

It had only taken around a week and a half for the skeleton of the mansion to be built. But already, it was turning out wonderfully. Thanks to the team both of you had and your newfound ability to compromise with one another, both of your guys’ morale had been boosted immensely. Things were finally beginning to look up.

“It’s beautiful,” you whisper in awe, staring at the team working on the house just feet away from you. Kaveh stands next to you, clipboard in hand and a pen eagerly scribbling away at the paper on it.

His eyes look up from the papers he was shuffling through to glance at the house and then glance back at you, “It really is, huh? I’m glad we were able to compromise on the final design. I think it’s turning out really great.”

“And to think you wanted all those embellishments,” you laugh as you reminisce.

Kaveh scoffs and leans into your shoulder with his, “Shut up. Sometimes the blueprint version isn’t a good representation of the final product. How was I supposed to know your ideas would look so good?”

“Oh? What was that?” you cup your hand around your ear and smirk, leaning into him, “Is that you finally admitting my ideas are better than yours?”

“Hey! That is not what I said.”

“I think it is. Just admit it, my dear friend, I have always been the better architect.”

My dear…friend?

Kaveh stops in his place, blinking at your words. He breathes out and looks to the ground. He isn’t sure what you mean. Perhaps it was a slip up or just a joke, but he chooses not to take it seriously in order to protect his feelings. So he teases you, ignoring the slight ache in his heart, “Oh, so now we’re friends again?”

“Ugh, please. I couldn’t be friends with an architect that isn’t on my level,” you jest. It was indeed a slip up on your end, and you realized it the moment you said it, but like Kaveh, you knew it would be better to just brush it off. Push it aside along with any other newfound positive feelings you had toward your old friend.

“Pft, yeah right,” he rolls his eyes and turns away from you again. You both begin walking toward the house, ready to tell everyone that it’s time to pack it up for the night. The sun would be completely set in about an hour and you knew they all had families to get back to. Besides, both of you were tired and you weren’t even the ones building the damn thing. You couldn’t imagine how tired they were if you were already feeling exhausted.

Footsteps dragging against the gravel alerts the crew of your presence and they all realize what time it is. Several of them hop down from the upper layers while the rest of them begin picking up their things from the ground floor. Many of them already begin to bid one another a “goodnight,” and “get home safely.”

“Great work today, guys!” you excitedly call out to them.

Kaveh smiles a bit and joins you, clapping his hands together as he reminds them, “Please go home and get some rest. We have a busy rest of the week from here on out! We’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

Before either of you can walk away, one of the girls that was working on the building rushes up to you both, “Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to let you guys know about the progress.”

You recognize her as one of the leaders for the construction crew when you turn around. She was in charge of the more specific areas of progress when it came to the actual building aspect, while you and Kaveh had oversight on the entire thing.

“Oh?” Kaveh confusedly asks, unsure of what she had to share, “What about it? Is something the matter?”

“No, no! Nothing bad. I just wanted to let you know that at this rate, the house should be completed within three months. We’re making an exponentially great amount of progress, especially with the wonderful crew we have working on it. You guys should be proud of yourselves,” she smiles.

You and Kaveh quickly turn and high-five each other, pleased with what she was saying. But as quick as it came, it was gone. Simultaneously, you clear your throats and take a step back from one another.

“Ahem, I um — thank you! That means a lot,” you say through a strained smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes. Kaveh doesn’t say anything.

Instantly, the girl can feel the awkward tension in the air and takes a step back herself.

“Of course, I’ll uh, be going now. Have a goodnight!”

When she walks off, Kaveh turns back to you hesitantly, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.”

“Let’s just pretend that never happened, yeah?”

He hums in agreement and starts to walk alongside you, “But, hey, I was thinking. She is right, you know? We should be proud of our progress so far. Maybe we could go to the tavern tonight? But only if you want, of course!”

You pause, but nod slowly, “Yeah…yeah okay. We can do that.”

“Really?” Kaveh tilts his head to the side, not quite believing you.

“Sure,” you shrug, not thinking too much into it, “Let’s go.”

You could feel the alcohol running through your system as you spoke, laughing along with some stupid story you were telling. Kaveh and you had been at the tavern for nearly two hours and it had long since been dark outside. You didn’t even get the chance to change out of your work clothes before getting there.

It didn’t take long for either of you to find a glass of alcohol sitting in front of you alongside a bunch of different dishes. Although neither of you really had the money to spending like this, it was a congratulatory meal and you couldn’t help but splurge a little.

“I know! Oh my god,” you slur a bit, “Do you…do you remember that time that one guy in our class plagiarized his entire project all the way down to the 3-D model? What was his name again? Bahar? No, that wasn’t it…”

“Oh, Baharak!” Kaveh exclaims, jumping from his seat a little and pointing at you before sitting back down. Leaning against his seat, he lets out a nostalgic sigh, “Archons, how could I forget that guy?”

“Baharak, yeah! Man, I can’t believe he really thought he wouldn’t get expelled for that,” you say and take another sip of your drink.

Kaveh hums in agreement and takes another bite of his food, “Wait, do you remember that professor we had? The one that took my library book away?”

“Really? You’ll have to refresh my memory again,” you say, struggling to connect memories together. Neither of you were drunk, but you were sure as hell getting there. Lambad already had to tell both of you to ease up on the drinks, aware that you both had work the next day. But truly, he just didn’t want you making a ruckus in his tavern again.

It had been years since you both visited together, but he could never forget the messes you made when you were both students at the Akademiya. The days where you would drink until you blacked or vomited, the nights spent drunk crying over bad grades or shitty professors, or the time you accidentally fell asleep on the bathroom floor and he didn’t realize until after closing because Kaveh was too drunk to realize you even left. It was safe to say that you weren’t his favorite customers, despite being fully grown adults now. Lambad was not willing to have repeats of any of those incidents.

It continues on for another hour or so, just sharing stupid stories from the past and what your friendship used to be like. It almost feels as though you are friends again, even if it’s just for a brief moment.

Your smile is wide when you’re talking to him and your laugh isn’t some fake laugh that you always use when someone comes into your store or when you’re talking to literally anyone else. Your legs are bumping into his under the table too, contrary to a few years ago when he was much shorter. It’s weird, you think, how much everything has changed.

It’s not until someone at a table nearby makes a comment about you two that you really digest just how weird it all is.

“Look at that cute couple over there,” they say in awe from somewhere behind you, “Don’t you miss when we used to be like that?”

Within seconds you feel sobered up. It almost embarrasses you how one much one small comment could have an effect on you. Your heart drops into your stomach and your laughter fades out. This isn’t right, you think. You can laugh and drink all you want, but it doesn’t change what happened all those years ago. It doesn’t change the incident or the things Kaveh said to you that night or the things you said to him. It doesn’t change how hard you cried and how your life suddenly went from being on a high to dropping to the lowest you’ve ever been. You can barely survive day to day because of that day…because of him.

No. It doesn’t change anything at all.

You stand up abruptly and grab your bag, slamming some mora onto the table and glancing around hurriedly before beginning to walk out on him. Kaveh stands up too and goes to reach for your arm, but you pull away before he can make contact with it, “Hey, what’s wrong? Where are you going?”

“I can’t do this,” you mumble to yourself, rushing away out of fear.

“Can’t do what?” Kaveh’s eyes are bursting with confusion and terrified that he may have done something wrong. Something to upset you. But you’re already out of the building before he can get an answer.

It had been about a week before you saw each other again. Luckily for you, it wasn’t required that you were at the build site as long as one of you was there. And with Kaveh’s naturally perfectionistic personality, you knew you weren’t needed there. He was also smart enough to not coming looking for you either after everything that had occurred not only earlier that week, but in the years prior. There was a reason you got along so well before everything came crashing down.

No one knew you guys like you knew each other. There was no doubt about that.

The time you had been gone in the past week was spent running your store, something you had been neglecting anyway. Despite it not being the most successful business ever, it was something and you still had customers to take care of.

Today had been rather slow, being a Thursday and all. Most people were out working their other jobs and kids were in school, so there weren’t really many people to be out shopping anyway.

Aggressive footsteps catch your attention, but you don’t bother to look up at whoever had just entered, figuring it was probably some elderly guy again there to scold you like the one last week.

“Welcome in, I’ll be with you in a moment,” you call out from your spot at the counter, signing away at some documents for the store. The footsteps don’t stop and look around, however. Instead, they march right up the counter and slam your binder shut.

“Is this seriously what you’ve been doing? I get it I may have pissed you off or whatever at Lambad’s earlier this week, but leaving me at the site like that is just shallow,” a familiar voice scolds you. You look up to see Kaveh seething. Although, the longer you look in his eyes, the more you see he’s less angry and more terrified. Of what? You’re unsure.

For a moment, you have the urge to extend a hand out to him and ask him what’s wrong, but you catch yourself before you can. Besides, it would defeat the entire purpose of you being at your store instead of the mansion. Instead you scoff, regaining your anger for him, “Okay? It’s not like you really needed me there this week. All the crew is doing is just finishing the skeleton. Stop acting like something bad happened or whatever.”

Kaveh purses his lips and leans closer to you, leveling his eyes with yours. The seriousness in them is unmistakable and it shakes you a bit. You haven’t seen him like that since…well, since that day. “That’s the thing…something did happen. I came here to tell you abo—”

“What?” You cut him off, eyes widening.

“Stop,” he hushes you angrily, “Please for the love of God just listen for once. Something happened to Zakai’s wife. I came here to tell you that we need to meet with him today because it’s urgent and I barely know what’s going on myself. So please, just put our differences aside and come with me.”

Your lips shut themselves before they can speak again. There’s shock in your eyes at his slight outburst, but you gulp and nod at him. Picking up the binder from earlier, you slide it under the counter in one of the locked drawers before walking around to the other side where Kaveh stands. A quick glance around and you’re walking out of the store. Without hesitation, you flip the sign that reads open to the side that reads closed.

And although you weren’t the firmest believer in the Gods or any part of Celestia, you bowed your head and prayed to the Dendro Archon that this wasn’t what you thought it was.

Your leg bounces in anticipation as you sit next to Kaveh at the Cafe. It’s dark out, and there aren’t a lot of people around which you’re grateful for. There was a certain nervousness in the air and you weren’t ready to find out where it was going to take you.

“Thank you for meeting with me,” Mr. Zakai says sadly and sits down, sliding you both a mug with what you presume is tea. Kaveh thanks him and bumps his knee with yours from next to you.

You fall out of your thoughts and clear your throat, “Oh, uh, yeah. Of course.”

He looks down at his lap solemnly, seemingly speechless. You turn to Kaveh who’s sitting on your right and frown at him. Kaveh returns the expression but nods his head, wordlessly telling you to just wait and see. You nod back and turn to sip at your tea.

Mr. Zakai’s voice is shaky when he speaks again moments later, “I…I don’t know where to begin. I suppose I should just get to the point so I don’t waste your time.”

You both wait in silence, urging him to continue. Practically waiting on the edge of your seats at this point.

“I have to suspend the project.”

You swear you can feel your heart drop into your stomach as you breathlessly whisper a tiny, “What?”

Kaveh turns to you quickly to gauge your reaction before turning back and swallowing deeply, “I’m sorry, could you please explain what’s going on here? I mean, c’mon, we barely started this thing and now you’re backing out?”

He waves his hands in the air and coughs, “No, no! I…I’m not backing out, dear God, no. I just, I need to wait a bit. It’s my wife, she’s with a family doctor. You see, she’s pregnant and there’s been some terrible complications. I’m afraid she’s fallen ill and I can’t afford to be spending my time building some mansion when she needs me.”

“How long?” you ask firmly, “How long are you suspending this?”

“I don’t know, I’m sorry,” he regretfully apologizes.

Kaveh tries to stay calm but you can feel him shaking next to you. His hands shakily put down the tea cup and he shuts his eyes while he speaks, almost like this is just one big nightmare that he can’t wake up from, “What does this mean for us? The crew? The materials we bought?”

Zakai stutters and sighs over and over again before he can get anything out, “I promise I will pay you…eventually. I have medical bills to pay and for now, I can’t pay either of you.”

“So what? You’re just leaving us then?!” You push him further.

“I’m sorry, really, I am,” he stands up and backs away slowly, “I need to go visit my wife. We’ll chat again soon.”

Hurriedly, he rushes off before either of you get the chance to go after him. Your breathing is heavy and labored, but neither of you move from your seats. There’s a lump in your throat, one you’re desperately trying to push down as you whisper, “I should have never agreed to this.”

“Hey, it’s not over yet,” Kaveh tries to reason as he places a hand on your shoulder. You shrug him off and stand up, shaking your head as you turn around to walk away.

Kaveh quickly springs from his seat and rushes to catch up with you. He pleads with you desperately, “I didn’t know this was going to happen, I swear. This is all my fault.”

“Yeah, it is,” you spat at him, stopping in your tracks and turning to him, “That’s the problem with you, Kaveh. Wherever you go, bad luck just seems to follow. I should’ve known better, honestly. You’d think after all these years I would’ve been smarter. And now…now my life is even more ruined than it was before. Thanks a lot.”

“You know what? No. You agreed to this, so you don’t get to treat me like dirt on your shoe just because something went wrong. Don’t you realize my life is just as ruined as yours is? You’re not the only one with problems!” He yells suddenly, taking a step forward toward you. A few people stop and stare but quickly keep moving when you turn and glare at them.

“My life was ruined in seconds!” You dig your pointer finger into his chest as you match his volume.

“Yeah? Well so was mine! You’re not the only one who’s been suffering all this time.”

Silence washes over both of you. You take a step back from him and remove your hand from his chest hesitantly, angry tears beginning to sting your eyes. Kaveh feels the same prickliness too, a dull ache in his chest as he stands before you. This wasn’t what either of you wanted deep down, and you realize that as you turn and walk away from him again.

There were so many moments of failure in Kaveh’s life, but you had an equal share as well. Yet, for some reason, neither of you realized the other was hurting just as much. Perhaps, like Kaveh, the real reason you accepted the project was so you could rekindle your friendship, bring back a relationship you missed dearly.

You look up at the moon as you walk away, leaving him somewhere behind you where you don’t care to look back to. And as you stare at its presence in the sky, you can’t help but feel like it was just like you and him. He was the sun, and you were the moon. Beautiful in their own ways, but bound by fate to never exist at the same time. Never to coexist.

Maybe this time, the tiny thread that still connected you had finally tethered for good.

The day it all happened was both blurry and clear in your memories.

That day.

Everything seemed to irk you from the moment you awoke that morning. The sheets on your bed weren’t quite placed right. The temperature in your house was miserably warm, even worse, humid after you accidentally left your window open the night before. The ingredients you had planned on using for your favorite breakfast had miraculously grown mold overnight. Not to mention, you were already late five minutes to the build site and everyone knew how particular Dori was about being punctual.

The clouds were a depressing gray from what you could remember. The rain was normally one of your favorite things. After all, you chose to live in the rainforest for a reason. But that day, the gloomy sight stirred a sense of anger in you that was impossible to shake.

You could remember the way Kaveh was avoiding you in the weeks leading up to it all. It was justified in your eyes because well, you were avoiding him too. Neither of you seemed to be able to stand the constant arguments that would break out between you. Most of them were pointless too — small things that could be resolved without a bunch of yelling and insults. Yet, every time you looked at him, every time he spoke, every time he even breathed, you felt anger seep into your blood.

At that point, the both of you had worked on several projects together. Houses, libraries, stores, gardens, you name it. The Palace of Alcazarzaray was the first real project you had both worked on. It was big, flashy, and was going to make a statement about your capabilities to all of Sumeru. Fame and riches were plastered all over the opportunity. The magnum opus of both of your careers.

It was this very reason that you both fought so often. There was so much to plan. So much to work on. At first, things had gone well considering you were both great friends — the best of friends, even. Any outsider or non-architect would probably make the naive assumption that, if anything, it would bring you even closer together. But with so much pressure, the opposite happened and you grew apart. The conflict was too much to handle on either side and you couldn’t keep up with it. Neither of you could.

The rain was bothersome when it started.

It started with a few drops here and there. You could remember hastily wiping them from your hands and face before peering up at the sky with a frown. Within a mere few seconds, the sprinkling rain became aggressive and thunderous. Lightning flashed in your eyes as the afternoon sky faded from a light gray to a deep blue and black.

It was hard to hear the yelling of all the crew members over the rumbling of the thunder overhead. The water below the structure began to thrash rapidly and the cliffs had a slight shake to them. Up until that part, everything was clear to you.

Then the rain was in your eyes and your breathing was heavy as you aimlessly ran around. Eventually, everyone had evacuated the site to a nearby area. Everything had happened so fast you couldn’t even remember how you ended up there, wrapped in a blanket and shivering in the corner of a small tent with a few other people. Soon after, everyone got sent home for the afternoon in a bad mood.

It wasn’t until hours later that a majority of the crew had returned. Your heart dropped within the first few steps you took as the palace came into sight. What had once been turning out to be a luxurious palace was crumbled down into nothing but ruins. Forest Rangers surrounded the place, evaluating it and dragging some equipment away. As soon as Tighnari spotted you, he jogged over to you, carefully explaining what happened.

After the rain, the withering made its way to the house and destroyed just about everything. Within hours, everything you had been working toward for months vanished out of thin air. Kaveh had been walking up to the both of you when the news was relayed to you. What he overheard stopped him in his tracks, allowing him to fall to his knees in anger, frustration, but most importantly, denial. Part of him could process it, while the other part wished he could wake up from whatever nightmare he seemed to be having.

If there was one thing you could remember better than anything else, it was the silence that followed. Everyone dispersed from the area with crest fallen expressions making their way home to their families for the second time that night. You and Kaveh stayed behind, sitting quietly within the ruins on your knees, surrounded by rubble, praying for a miracle from the Dendro Archon.

Tears fell silently down both of your faces as he leaned against your shoulder, arms wrapped carelessly around your abdomen. You had no energy to return the action, and so you sat there in the still silence without so much as a sniffle. Your head was bowed to your chest, unable to look at the place anymore in fear of breaking down in a way that seemed worse than the way the palace had broken.

Both of your tears’ had dried with the morning sun. There was a pounding in your head as Kaveh dragged you back to his house to collect his savings and prepare to sell his house. You had done the same after making a hesitant agreement with him. A tingling sensation covered your body as your chest and stomach ached. Anxiety was written all over your face and you couldn’t help but feel regret over your actions. There was no other way out, you thought.

The arguments hadn’t stopped even after everything had been settled with the money and the plans to rebuild the palace came into fruition. You still had a hard time being around him and he felt the same way. Despite that small moment of desperation where he clung to you in the ruins, there wasn’t much left of your friendship by the end.

Ultimately, one thing led to another and a snap happened. Kaveh was the one to snap first, turning around on you one day and just hurling insult after insult. You followed suite, not backing down for the sake of your dignity. And at that moment, you just wanted to make each other hurt. There was nothing more to it. No real reason to be arguing anymore — not even over small trivial things like misplaced blueprints or an empty paint can being knocked over. It was pure hatred at its finest.

Coincidentally, that was the last day you ever saw each other. You both unknowingly felt bad about hurting each other like that. You were supposed to be best friends afterall. Some part of you even wanted to be more. Not that he ever knew that, though. There was a time in which you tried to apologize, but the residual anger that burned in your heart prevented you from ever seeking him out.

And so, everything you had come to know of him ceased at once. Kaveh was no longer part of your life and you were no longer part of his. The Palace of Alcazarzaray was finished by the crew and anytime either of you ever had to meet with Dori it was always separate. For years, you hadn’t even caught so much as a glance of him.

There was nothing left. Absolutely nothing.

Three weeks had passed since Zakai had reached out to either of you. History seemed to be repeating itself with you and Kaveh as well, seeing as neither of you had crossed paths at all within that time.

You were back to quietly running your tiny little store. There was only a week left until your eviction went into effect. The few things you had in your house had been moved into a small section in the back of your store where you had settled to live temporarily. There wasn’t much room and it wasn’t the safest, but you would find a way to make it work for the time being.

“Um, hi,” a timid voice squeaks out, catching you off guard, “I have an urgent delivery. Could you please confirm your name on the envelope?”

Your eyes lift from the paper they’re staring at blankly. Your brows furrow and you nod at the young boy who didn’t look to be older than fifteen. “Do you know what this is about?” You ask him as you turn to find a letter opener from behind you.

“Not exactly. It’s from my uncle Zakai, you know him right?”

“Yeah, something like that. Thanks,” you mumble. He hums before awkwardly walking out of your shop. When he’s gone, you eagerly cut open the pristine envelope to find a paper inside. It’s a letter, you realize as you begin to read it. It’s addressed to both you and Kaveh, so you assume he must’ve received one as well.

Inside the letter details a meeting at a specific time and place. It’s the build site, later this afternoon at three o’clock. Most of it is just jumbled up, redundant apologies that you can’t resist your eyes from rolling at, but the end of the letter catches your eye. Moving back up a few sentences you had scanned over, you reread it carefully.

“He wants to start the project back up?” You ask to no one but yourself. The letter falls from your hand onto the counter and you stare out at your shop in contemplation. On one hand, you could return to the project and see it through. Maybe hope nothing bad happens again. On the other, you could ditch the whole thing out of fear that history could repeat itself for a third time. It would mean you could avoid seeing Kaveh again. Because, as you angrily spat at him before, bad luck seemed to follow him wherever he went. You were far too scared of what the outcome of seeing him again would be.

Minutes later you had your answer as you found yourself flipping the sign outside the shop to closed and locking the doors.

It wasn’t worth it, you realized, being scared of someone who was only scared and sensitive himself. Joining the project again couldn’t hurt you any further than it already had. There was no contractual agreement that would force you to be friendly with Kaveh again either. Perhaps you could work merely as coworkers and nothing more. Speak to him only when you have to and get this job done once and for all.

“I’m glad to have you back,” Zakai shakes your hand firmly as you fall into step with him.

“Happy to be back,” you lie. Hesitantly, you turn to him and clear your throat, “If you don’t mind me asking, is your wife alright? What made you come back to the project?”

Mr. Zakai sends you a fond smile as he thinks of her, “She’s perfectly fine. Thank you for asking. There were a few complications with the baby, but she made it through and everything is going smoothly now. The baby is actually due in a few weeks. Can you believe it?”

“Not at all,” you smile halfheartedly.

“Anyway,” he says as you reach the site with him, “I came back to the project because I am a man of my word. I said I wasn’t going to drop it, so here I am. Besides, I’m impressed with yours and Kaveh’s work. I truly hope we can finish what we started.”

You nod silently to yourself. Before you or Zakai can say anything else, Kaveh jogs up to you both out of breath, “I’m so sorry I’m late. My annoying roommate took my key again and I couldn’t get back into the house to grab my things, so I had to go track him down and get it back.”

“That’s okay,” Zakai laughs and holds out his hand for Kaveh to shake, “It’s good to see you, Kaveh.”

“You too,” he says before turning to you. Kaveh nods at you silently. Hesitantly, you nod back, averting your eyes quickly.

It doesn’t take long for everything to return to the natural swing of things. The crew was happy to be back and building and Zakai was more than pleased with how close the house was to being completed. Over the next few weeks, everyone works diligently to get it completed.

Day in and day out, neither of you spoke to one another just as you had hoped for. No arguments, no silly jokes, no talking about ideas…nothing. Sometimes it felt a little lonely, even when you were standing right next to each other. There were times where you had seen something on the way to site that you wanted to talk to someone about, rant about your day, whatever. Even when you were still in the period of “hating” each other before Zakai temporarily left the project, both of you still felt more comfortable speaking to each other.

You want to hate him. You really do. But after everything that has happened, after all the emotions you can’t seem to restrain anymore, you’re beginning to wonder if you ever really hated him the way you said you did.

On the final day of the project, it rains again. You aren’t worried this time, however. Not like how you were with the palace. The house was built, inside and out. The only thing left to add was the remainders of Zakai and his wife’s furniture and any other little embellishments he had requested. A pay check was already in the mail for you both, your ticket out of the miserable life you’ve both led for two years.

You’re walking away for the night when footsteps pick up from somewhere behind you. Most of the crew was in front of you chatting away under a ledge shielded from the rain. There’s a hollow feeling in your chest that leaves you feeling dissatisfied with it all as you walk away, no umbrella and shivering furiously under the pouring rain. Eventually, the mysterious person catches up to you and falls into step with you. There was only one person it could have been.

A few weeks ago, you would have swatted him away or sped up so you could get as far away from him as possible. But now, just like that night in the ruins two years ago, you had no energy to push him away anymore. So, silently, you both walk side by side until you reach Sumeru City.

A bolt of lightning landing on the ground a few feet away causes you both to jump back. Thunder follows suite and suddenly the rain turns more into a storm that threatens to flood the city. Icy hail begins to fall not even seconds later, harshly landing against both of your backs as you rush into the city.

Kaveh’s hand gently grabs yours and eagerly drags you away with him. He’s yelling something, but you can’t make out what he’s saying. And before you know it, you’re both sitting in a booth at Lambad’s Tavern soaked and shivering.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers into the air, “We should stay here until the storm dies down. It’s too dangerous outside.”

“Yeah,” you quietly agree and nod quickly, eyes stuck on the table like it was the most interesting thing ever. Kaveh’s looking at you, but you ignore his gaze.

Minutes later, Lambad walks over with a sympathetic expression on his face as he sets down two hot chocolates. He makes some small talk about the storm which both of you indulge him in as you sip on the hot drinks, acting as if nothing was wrong between you. Eventually, he goes to leave but stops to turn back, “I’ll bring out two more on me. Please, stay as long as you need.”

“Thank you,” you both say simultaneously. It goes quiet when he leaves.

For the first time in two years, it feels like the silence is warm and home like. It’s no longer awkward and cold. It reminds you of the time when you were still scholars at the Akademiya, studying late at night at your house in your room. He would sit in your bed while you studied at your desk. There was always something so comforting about it despite the fact that you had to study. Being with him was your favorite thing in the world. And even though it felt like you both had been thrown into the pits of hell with each other, forced against each other over and over again, sitting across from him now felt like none of that had ever happened. For a tiny moment, it felt like you were friends again.

“I never wanted you out of my life,” Kaveh breaks the silence suddenly. Your eyes meet his for the first time that night and they’re brewing with a certain determination, sadness, and anger all at once. You can feel it in yourself too.

“What?” you breathe out. Your brows furrow as you take in what he’s saying, “You never wanted me to leave? But I thought…after everything, I mean. After what we said to each other back then, you didn’t hate me?”

Kaveh frowns and his mouth falls agape as his hands slam against the table dramatically. The words fall out of his mouth before he can stop them, “Hate you? Archons no! How could I hate you when I was in love with you?”

“Wait—you…? You were in love with me?”

His face falls instantly, hands waving in the air, “Shit, I didn’t mean—”

Your eyes glance back and forth between his, desperately searching for any sign of a prank or some sort of sick joke. Fear pangs your heart when you can’t find any, “Kaveh…why didn’t you say anything?”

“You were you and I was me. It never would’ve worked no matter how much I wanted it to,” Kaveh slumps into his seat, scoffing as he forces himself to look away from you, “You know what? Can we please just forget I ever said anything?”

The realization of what all the years you spent together meant hits you hard as you sit across from him. The rain pounding against the windows makes your head pound even harder as you try to make sense of it all. Because, no, this was not some sick joke or some prank. Kaveh was wholeheartedly in love with you at some point and you had no idea.

There were times where you felt the same. Staring at him from across the room, his beautiful blonde hair messily sprawled across your bed as he complained about the project you were working on. The times when he would be going on and on about his passions and you couldn’t help but zone out and just admire him in all his glory. Or when he would bring you food just because he knew you had forgotten to eat again. All the trinkets he would buy you because they reminded him of you. The way he made you feel so loved and cared for. Over the years, you had unknowingly fallen for him too. Kaveh may have only ever been your best friend, but in moments like those, moments where the light hit him just right, you wished he could have been more.

“No.”

“No?”

You lean across the table slightly, forcing him to look at you, “I can’t just ignore that. I can’t pretend you didn’t say it or that you never had feelings for me. I hate to admit it, but Kaveh, I had feelings for you too back then.”

It’s silent for a few moments. You give him the chance to speak, but he doesn’t take it. You take in a deep inhale and hesitantly speak, “I know it’s been a long time — years to be precise. And it pains me to say this, but I’m really happy the project worked out how it did. That opportunity from Zakai gave me more than I could ask for and…I’m glad it brought me back to you.”

“Yeah,” Kaveh scoffs playfully, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth, “Only after a painstaking amount of convincing.”

“Oh please, I had every reason to say no to you,” you refute, crossing your arms in defense, “And I wasn’t finished. What I was trying to say, was that, even though it’s been so many years, I don’t know where to go from here. But I…I don’t want us to go back to the way things were.”

Kaveh sighs, “I know. I don’t either. Obviously we both have things we need to work through. But, if you’re willing, I’d like to start over again. Not completely, of course. But I want us to be friends again, maybe one day even more…If you’ll have me, that is.”

“Okay,” you breathe out with a small smile. Although it took years and a painful amount of fighting, tears, and money, you had found each other again. Perhaps you couldn’t love each other now, but the feeling was without a doubt there. The pounding in your hearts and ache for one another was concrete proof of it.

And as Kaveh reaches out and takes your hand again for the first time in two years, he knows he’ll never let you go again.

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact fanfiction #kaveh #kaveh angst #kaveh fluff #kaveh x reader #kaveh x you #kaveh x y/n #i’m so glad this is finished

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