#ahahaha why do I feel so deeply

[pearl-blue-musings]

Have I made myself sad because I have no dating experience and only have trauma in those certain instances and I’m very very interested in someone and they have a date tomorrow but I’m putting in lots of work to talk to them and they obviously respond and we talk almost every day but I think he’s already rejected me cause genuinely no one would like me and I’m wasting my time trying to find love?

Yes

[gayuu-the-necromancer]

William Rex Chapter 10

WARNING: The following story contains mentions of drugs and death.

 ｡⋆｡˚🦋˚｡⋆｡

William: "I'll tell you an old boring tale. I'll make it short."

William: "The reason for this is simply that my father was playing a role of a piper for the Golden Butterfly."

(.....!)

I almost shouted and had to hold it in so as not to break the story.

With the sound of horses' hooves and wheels pounding on the cobblestones in the background, William began to speak calmly, as if he were telling a bedtime story.

William: "I was estranged from my father because my ability manifested as soon as I could speak."

William: "I was aware that this power was 'evil' and I thought that my parents were good people who shunned it."

William: "That's why I was a little surprised when I found a huge amount of material on 'butterfly' in my father's hidden warehouse."

William: "To find out if it was true, Ethan and I started looking into the 'butterfly'. The truth is........as I told you before."

William: "From an early age, I loved to see people break free of their ties and live freely."

William: "So, frankly, it's not a good thing to see so many scenes of people being used like tools."

William: "That was extremely unpleasant."

(Perhaps......)

-----FLASHBACK----

Director: "Morphine extracted from opium is further refined."

William: "Yes I know. ..I've seen the same thing before."

-----FLASHBACK ENDS-----

Kate: "Have you ever been to a drug-smuggling house?"

William: "You really listen well, robin. Yes. I did."

William: "At a drug-smuggling house, I met a boy about my age. His name was Colin."

-----FLASHBACK-----

William: "Whose song is that?"

Colin: ".....I. I hear so many sounds in my head, and since I only have one mouth......I can't even make a sound."

I wanted to hear the music he played freely as his own master.

So I took him back to the mansion and hid him.

As it turned out, that was one turning point.

 ｡⋆｡˚🦋˚｡⋆｡

Colin hesitated for days to sit in the piano chair until one day he finally touched the keys.

His melody is as frantic as the palm of a hand that carefully wraps an unreliable candlelight on a stormy night.

Colin: "Haa.......Ha....Ah....Ahahaha! Haa....."

Colin: ".....Now, for the first time in my life, I feel alive."

It was beautiful to see him crying and smiling as best he could, as if he was frightened of happiness because he was used to being abused.

(What a waste)

(Like him, the voiceless, who were supposed to be beautifully transformed, are dying)

I knew that the British heartland was deeply involved with the butterfly and that the butterfly was not the only dark side of society.

That unpleasant scene is unforgivable.

However, at that time, I still couldn't figure out how to erase all of them, or whether I wanted to do so.

Colin: "You're making a difficult face."

William: ".....Why do you think there is 'evil' in this world?"

Colin: "Hmm? .....I've heard it said that because there is 'good', the absence of that 'good' makes the state of being 'evil."

William: "Then, it's not so much about eliminating evil as it is about.....doing good."

William: "I guess that means there's no way to even define right and wrong anymore."

William: "In other words, as long as man lives, neither good nor evil will cease to exist."

William: "Why is there evil in the world? Because humans live."

Colin: "That's how it's going to be, huh? Hey, but you know what?"

Colin: "It's unconditional love that allows existence itself regardless of good or evil."

Colin: "If we all had that kind of love, good and evil would be meaningless, and we could live together in harmony! .......How about that?"

William: "Hahaha. You're a romantic."

Colin: "We're different people, so it's only natural that what's important to us would be different, right? What's 'good' for me could be bad for someone else."

Colin: "On the contrary, if you think that what is evil for you is good for someone else."

Colin: "Evil will cease to exist. Wouldn't it be easier to think of it that way?"

Colin: "I'm sure it's more fun to live playing the piano than to fight evil."

After a month of harboring Colin, we found a trustworthy sponsor.

He was supposed to be-----finally truly free.

 ｡⋆｡˚🦋˚｡⋆｡

Things changed quickly when Father found the maid who was secretly bringing food to Colin.

The actions taken by the father to destroy evidence and keep his mouth shut were precise.

I was drugged, passed out, and awoke to find myself in front of a burning building with shackles around my mouth.

The police surrounding the facility would not move with their backs turned, even though half-crazed screams could be heard from inside.

It was indeed a familiar and unpleasant sight.

William's father: "Everything inside this facility will be reduced to ashes."

In the arms of my father's guard, was Colin, staring into the void with an ecstatic expression on his face.

William's father: "This is the effect of the drug we have created. It can make people more obedient than threatening them with a knife or a gun."

William's father: "And the only people we use this drug on are those with stupid ideas that threaten the British order."

William's father: "As a nobleman, it is my duty to exterminate the pests that threaten our country. The people who create the medicine are the ones who will do it for the sake of justice."

My father looked over and one of the guards stuck a needle in Colin's arm.

William's father: "They are noble, martyrs."

The venom slowly pumped into his bloodstream, a venom that pretends to be righteous, closed his eyelids.

He, as his master, could never again play the piano.

William's father: "If you stand in my way, you will be martyred.....just like this boy."

William's father: "I know you're afraid to die. I don't want to kill you either.....but you understand. don't you?"

(What was I thinking?)

I would have had to have decided what I wanted to do with the entity that oppresses my precious ones.

Were they trapped by such trivial things as ethics and morality?

Unconditional love is not going to make that unpleasant scene go away.

(If forgiving evil is the only way to extinguish it)

(I don't care if evil ever disappears from the world)

I will judge evil for me, I will be evil.

-----FLASHBACK ENDS-----

William: "You asked me before. Why do my killings have to be cruel to make sense."

Kate: "......Yes."

William: "Instead of answering, I asked.."

William: "The thing most feared by those who want wealth and power and who trample on the freedom of others with impunity..."

William: "What is it?"

(Now that I've heard about the butterfly, the sins they're committing, and what William's father did, I understand)

If there are some things that can escape punishment for a crime committed with wealth or power, but can never be resisted-----

Kate: "......Your own cruel doom, is it?"

William: "Noble and greedy, gentle and strong' .......plus 'clever', if I may add."

 ｡⋆｡˚🦋˚｡⋆｡

William: "The powerful men and women of all ages and all walks of life wished for immortality. They searched for the land of paradise and sought the Philosopher's stone."

William: "Losing your prosperity, being avenged by those you kicked down, becoming crawling insects on the ground, and dying miserably."

William: "Then the fear of doom is a deterrent. And for that....this power of mine is perfect."

The letter I received from Brian the night before I left for the workhouse, comes back to my mind.

"The other day you asked me about the incident involving Count Rex------"

"William Rex's father committed suicide and that too, in the Capitol building, just before the Congressional session began."

"Count Rex, who was 14 at the time, was there. Rather.....the knife that was used as the murder weapon was apparently brought in by him."

"Now all records have been hushed up by public authorities, but I have it on good authority."

Brian's letter stated.

Kate: "So....you used that power to get your father to....?"

William: "........."

A gentle smile, with a hint of affirmation, chokes the heart.

William: "What made me decide to use my power?' I hope I gave you a satisfactory answer."

Kate: ".......Yes........It is......"

(I wish I could say something witty like William does, but the words.....just won't come out)

Unintentionally, I laid my palm on the back of his hand.

William: "......."

-------Options-------

Reminding you of hard times.

Thank you for telling me.

I understood.

----------

Kate: "......Sorry for reminding you of hard times."

William: ".....You are so kind."

William: "It's not hard. It's just an old story."

When I see the face smiling in a good mood, for some reason it makes me want to cry.

(William couldn't turn a blind eye to a being that takes lives without thinking of them as people)

(And yet.....he had to fall into the same 'evil' that he hate)

(I'm sure he felt the bitterness and sadness....)

(I can't detect any remorse whatsoever from William right now)

It became clear to me that he had long since parted with such sentiments.

William: "....You don't have to look so teary-eyed."

Kate: ".....I understand."

(It's too sad to live as evil....when you hate evil with all your heart)

(But.....that's what William sincerely wanted and chose because it was 'important' to him)

(I know I can't help it if I'm sad now.....)

Kate: "I know....but you seem so, so far away."

William: "You're right here with me. See, we're holding hands."

Kate: "Yeah, but....."

The resolve he had piled up stood in front of him like a great wall,

I felt condemned that he was unreachable.

He sits on a throne. He stares into the cold, dark world to judge those who do not conform to his will.

-----And he will never, ever step off the throne.

(Why is that so sad?)

I stare at my overlapping hands, unsure of myself.

William: ".....Soon we'll be near the castle. Shall we walk from here?"

 ｡⋆｡˚🦋˚｡⋆｡

The carriage stops when the driver signals to him by tapping on the front window with a steady tap.

William: "Pardon me."

(Ah......)

William's hand slipped out from under my palm and my chest ached with a throbbing pain that surprised even me.

(Why am I so shocked that I can't get off the carriage without....letting go, which is a given)

William opened the door, got out of the carriage, turned, and extended his hand to me.

William: "Please take my hand, lady."

The inviting fingertips of blood-colored nails that I hesitated to touch on the night we met.

(Don't take this hand, don't accept the invitation, let's not face him a month from now. That's what I thought....)

I find myself laying my hands on his palms over and over again.

(On the contrary, I even feel like I want to.......keep piling on more)

William: "Watch your step."

Kate: ".......Yes."

When I took his hand, a numbing, sweet pain stung my chest.

I was about to step off the ramp with my other leg outside the carriage, when....

Kate: "Eh......?"

With a light sound, a thin rain started to fall.

Kate: "Whaa...Hey.....it was supposed to be sunny....."

William: "Ahahaha! Perfect timing."

William smiled amusedly and looked up at the sky.

The drops that trickle down from his cheeks to his neck are mesmerizing.

Kate: "Shall we.....go back inside the carriage?"

William: "No. I don't mind getting wet in the rain."

I was mesmerized by the sight of him comfortably squinting and letting her hair and skin get wet.

(Getting wet in the rain is a 'good thing' for William)

(.....I wonder how it feels?)

(Is it cold? Does it feel good? What is William feeling right now?)

My heart is drawn to it, as if trying to fill the gap I felt just a moment ago.

William: "Kate."

Kate: "........"

A quick glance and my heart jump.

William was giving me a look as if inviting me into complicity.

William: "Have you ever walked in the rain without an umbrella?"

Kate: "......No."

William: "Hmmm. So are you.....interested?"

Kate: "Interested....."

(Before I met William, I would have......)

(I might have given a safe answer like, 'No, let's wait until it stops')

(I might catch a cold, it's hard to dry wet clothes and hair and I have no urgent need to go to the castle.....)

(There are plenty of excuses. But.....now)

(I can no longer ignore the voice of my heart)

Kate: "...........Yes."

(I want to know what your 'good thing' is)

William: "........."

William's eyes narrow in satisfaction at my response.

Kate: "Can I walk with you without an umbrella......?"

William: "If you want to do it, you don't need anyone's permission."

A splash as I put my feet up on the ramp and descended to the wet cobblestones.

The palms of our hands, which were only overlapping, once untied, and our fingertips intertwined with each other as if we were warming each other's skin as it became wet.

It didn't seem to matter now which of us got involved first.

(I don't know if what is 'good' for him is 'good' for me)

(So that's why....)

(I want to feel it, with my body)

Fervido: Fervently - Normal Story

[carolmunson]

party favors (rockstar!eddie x actress!reader)

just a little drabble of coming home to a mansion party that your stupid rock star fiancé threw. More fluffy than smutty but implied smut. features a little surprise mention of @rustedhearts boxer!steve.

warnings: active drug use, implied drug use, mention of addiction if you squint, daddy kink reference, drinking, cigarettes, smut implications, swearing

18+ always, thnx! 

Then you heard it, “Oooh, she’s home early man, you’re gonna get in trouble…” 

You rolled your eyes when you heard Gareth and turned the corner, the girls outnumbering the men on the sectional three to one in the second sitting room. The center table was littered in rolled up bills and lines, baggies of pills, empty shot glasses, and crushed beer cans. You scanned quickly for a sign of any needles lingering anywhere.

“Oh thank GOD, finally!” Eddie said dramatically at the sight of you, nestled in the curve of the couch, a big smile on his face and a cigarette in his fingers, “Hot girls finally made it to the party.” 

“Ed,” you said, exasperated, gesturing to the party around you, “Why?”  He pouted at your annoyed face, “Why not?” He stood up, resting his cigarette on the ash tray and strutting close to you. You looked him over: tight jeans, a studded belt glinting in the low light of the house, an old Dio shirt cut into a cropped muscle tee, his midriff peeking out with a smattering of tattoos – your name right on his partially exposed hip bone.  “Princess, I’m sorry,” he said, concern lining his face, “Just say the word, I’ll tell everyone to get out.”  You sighed up at him, and smiled, “It’ll take at least an hour and a half to get everyone out of here.” 

“Whatever you want,” he said, placing his hands on your face and kissing your forehead, “As long as that ring is on your finger, I’ll do whatever you say.” 

You blushed, your engagement ring heavy and shining on your left hand. “Do you want me to send everyone home?” he asked.

“Are you having fun?” you asked, his grin answered for him. 

“Of course I am,” he said, “Even more, now that you’re here.”  He kissed you deeply, whiskey heavy on his tongue as it slid in your mouth. A mix of cigarette smoke and his Green Irish Tweed cologne clouded your judgement every time. He always made you feel like you were the only person in the room when he looked at you. You whined when Eddie pulled away.

“Okay, okay. Everyone can stay,” you said, his fingers lacing with yours, tugging you towards the couch. He pulled you in close onto his lap, leaning your back against his chest. If he could rip open his skin and put you inside of it, he would. ‘Would you wear my skin like a suit? That’d be pretty metal. My little scuba suit girl, except it’s my skin, ahahaha,’  he slurred one particularly intoxicated night in Mexico. He held your hand like a lost puppy the whole way back to the hotel room. 

You scanned the people in the room, everyone moving in and out, feeling more calm with the feeling of Eddie’s breathing under you. Sometimes it was overwhelming when you weren’t really in the mood to party, even more so when you just flew in from New York, expecting the sprawling property to be empty aside from your fiancé practicing solos in the studio downstairs. 

“Oh wow, man of the hour arrived,” Jeff said next to Eddie, tossing his head over to a man who just entered the party. Eddie looked over, his arm snaking around you tightly while you shifted to see who Jeff was talking about. 

“Surprised he even came, even though the party’s technically for him,” Eddie said, “Not after what happened last time. You know Chris had to get his jaw reset after that?”  “After what?” you asked, “Who’re you talking ab–”  You didn’t have to ask anymore, you saw him come into the room, sunglasses on. King Steve, middleweight boxing champion of the decade, at least that’s what the press was saying. He’d fought that night, and won, you could tell by the angry red cut hiding behind his Ray Bans on his left eye, covered in butterfly bandages. It clicked that Eddie used this as a means to throw a party (not that he ever struggled to find an excuse). 

You had met Steve a few times: similar endorsement deals, interviewed on the same show right after each other, typical celebrity niceties. His little lady daintily walking beside him in her librarian kitten heels – his arm protectively touching her at all times. You wanted to gift her a pair of Vivienne Westwood platforms so badly, but Steve probably wouldn’t like them. 

“Steve Harrington, baby. You know him,” Eddie explained, “Last time he showed up here, got in a big fight with his woman cause Chris gave him some party favors. Total fuckin’ buzzkill.” 

Your face contorted a little, “Total fuckin’ buzzkill?” 

“Yeah I mean like, he was just tryna have a good time,” he said. Tapping out his own party favors into a small pile on your bare shoulder. “If I remember correctly, you were doing a lot of different shit to have a good time until I was a buzzkill,” you reminded him, cringing at the sound of his nostril sucking up the cocaine on your skin, “Ew, Ed.” 

“That was different, smack was gonna kill me,” he said, shaking his head and holding his hand to his nose, “Whoo!” 

“Doesn’t matter that she’s a total buzzkill though,” he said dazily, a heavy hand slapping down on your thigh. You watched Eddie catch her eye from across the room, “She’s got a hot little body on her.”  He winked and you watched Steve’s girl blush, awkwardly burying her face in his chest while Steve talked to, who you recognized, was likely his manager. “You know he’s sending her to the moon every night,” Jeff laughed, the girls flanking him laughing too. “You think she calls him King Steve in the sack?” Gareth thought out loud. 

“Oh no, definitely callin’ him Daddy, or somethin’,” Eddie said with a knowing look. He got close to your ear, “Maybe you girls could get together and see who can say it the loudest.” 

“Do you want him to kill you?” you asked, turning to face him, cheeks burning pink, “He hears one horny thing about her come out of your mouth he’s gonna send you to the moon.” 

Eddie making comments about other women never stung, he just loves girls. Just never loves any girls more than his fiancé.  “Would you come visit me on the moon, if he did?” Eddie asked, giving you a peck before you could answer.  “All the time,” you whispered into his lips.  “Why don’t you go change into a little party dress?” he asked, brushing your hair out of your face.  “Do you not like my airport clothes?” you asked, shimmying from his lap and standing up, “Are the silk pants not doing it for you? Don’t like the tennis shoes?” 

“I love the tennis shoes,” he said, slowly getting up and putting his hands on your hips, “But it’s a party, baby, I love when you get dressed up for a party.”  “You wanna help me pick something out?”  

Eddie nodded, knowing what helping you get changed would entail. The couches in your closet seeing more unspeakable scenes than your bedroom ever did. 

“See you guys later,” he said, waving off his band mates, grabbing a shot off a tray a server was carrying through the sea of people and downing it. You had to walk by Steve and his lady to get through to the hallway and after Eddie’s little wink, you cringed at the potential interaction.   “‘Scuse me,” you said, trying to speak over the music, Eddie trailing behind you. 

Steve’s girlfriend turned her head, causing Steve to turn too.  “Sorry, excuse me,” you smiled and offered a small wave, “Hi Steve.”  Steve nodded in your direction, never much of a talker, and you assumed after a fight he probably didn’t want to do much talking. He pulled his girl closer, scooting them both out of the way, eyeing Eddie while Eddie eyed him back.  “Hi Ms. Harrington,” you said with a grin while walking past them, “Welcome to the party.” Steve’s girlfriend got flustered, blushing, “Well, not Ms. Harrington yet, but–”  You caught Steve’s smile while you edged into the hall, seeing him lean down to kiss her. Eddie laced his fingers with yours again while you filed to the mostly empty left wing of the house. You stepped over the velvet ropes marking off the wing, since this part of the house was always off limits for a party. You felt his Eddie’s hands creep over you in the dark hallway. 

“Do you think he’s handsome?” he asked. You could catch the twinge of sullen jealousy in his voice from a mile away. 

“Of course I think he’s handsome, don’t you think he’s handsome?” you laughed. 

“Do you think I’m handsome?” he asked while you opened the door to your bedroom. He knew you thought he was handsome, but sometimes he just needed a little reassurance. Ed might’ve been a ladies man once he got famous and pumped full of liquor and drugs, but underneath that was still a kid who nobody wanted to take to prom. 

He followed you into your dressing room while you spoke, “Let’s seeee, do I think you’re handsome? My future husband, man of my dreams, guitar legend Eddie Munson – do I think you’re handsome?” 

He blushed and sat on the white leather couch in front of the triple mirror while you slowly slid off your airport clothes. You popped on a short silk robe, one he got you in Milan on a world tour because he thought you’d look nice in jade. You weren’t sure how you felt about it when you first tried it on in the hotel room – he fell to his knees immediately. 

“I think you’re very handsome,” you said, crawling onto his lap on the couch, a thigh on either side of his, “So handsome, that I don’t know if I can bear bringing you back down to that party.” 

[ruthlesslistener]

grimm, 8, 9, 24~?

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

-I feel like there are usually two interpretations to Grimm: either he's seen as the evil ominous guy that people take him to be at face value, or he's painted as the fandom gay uncle. There's no in-between. This isn't something that I despise as much as I feel like its kinda flat and boring. I'm much more interested in the idea of someone like Grimm- whose domain is, well....grim- being an entity who is entirely capable of doing a great deal of evil things, yet simply chooses not to because he doesn't see the point of it. Why hunt when others can do it for you? Grimm is, out of all of the Higher Beings we see, undoubtedly kinder than all the rest- but he's still a god. One who plays at mortal cycles of death and rebirth, yes, but still a god. Still alien and deeply capable of cruelty because of it nonetheless. I'd like to see that side shine a bit more in fandom than just 'funny gay uncle'

Also, he always seems to take the sidelines in like...everything. I'm certainly also complacent in this, but I just find it kinda odd that a character that's so well-liked doesn't seem to get the focal point very often.

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

-oh god. oh hell to the fuck no. are you kidding me. no.

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

-I'm not so much in the Howl's Moving Castle fandom but I'd be amiss if I didn't point out just how much he reminds me of movie!Howl lmao. I'm sure there are other characters out there that I love who'll also fit him quite well, but I can't think of anyone other than movie!Howl atm

Oh wait, no. I can. Riven of a Thousand Voices from Destiny 2 reminds me of him, in a way. Mostly just in the 'ahahaha I'm in danger with a paracausal being that knows more than it lets on and is unphased by death and is also toying with me rn' sorta way. Also also the 'make a deal with the devil but the devil's only playing nice because its kids are on the line' sorta way

[dajaregambler]

HeliosR - Sing in the darkness - Chapter 2 - Part 5

Translation of Sing in the darkness from ‘Helios Rising Heroes’, a new side arc alongside the current main story arc Like the dawning light.

Bianchi: Geh

Jude: Phew, found you…

Jude: Now what in the world are you doing here for?

Sage: ?

Bianchi: Hold it. Lay off those nasty glares to Sei-chan. I already told you to get along with him.

Jude: Of course. I didn’t forget

Bianchi: Sigh….

Bianchi: I’m here for some small talk. Talk to your teammates if you don’t have anything better to do.

Jude: Got it, Bianchi

Jude: Sage, what did you and Bianchi talk about? Lay it all out for me. 

Sage: Uuum… we talked about how we ended up coming to New Million, and the reason for becoming a hero.

Sage: Jude-kun, may I ask why you became one?

Jude: Me? Because Bianchi--

Bianchi: Because I was there is not valid. 

Bianchi: We met at the Academy, remember. Leave that aside and talk about the time you set your sights on becoming a hero.

Jude: Haha, nothing slips by Bianchi.

Jude: Why I aspired to become a hero is pretty simple….

Jude: To hunt down thrills. That’s all. 

Sage: Eh…

Bianchi: Sei-chan, that’s the kind of guy he is. You ought to know by now that he has a few screws loose, no?

Bianchi: I mean like, trying to understand him is pointless… better off giving up since it takes up so much energy.

Jude: Bianchi….

Bianchi: What now. Got something against that?

Jude: No. I don’t have a reason to, do I? I’m deeply moved in fact.

Jude: How we met at the Academy and all that time spent together from there, was never in vain…

Jude: It’s making my heart leap with joy to see how far you went to understand me on a deeper level.

Bianchi: Haaaah…

Sage: ……

Bianchi: Very sorry, Sei-chan. Having you sit through these tedious back and forths every single time. 

Bianchi: I cannot agree with this team formation after all. I’m going to directly negotiate if they don’t want to reconsider going forward---

Sage: I don’t think it’s tedious at all!

Sage: The way you two act around each other is fun to see, or rather… I end up feeling all fuzzy inside while watching you guys.

Bianchi: What now!?

Jude: Sage…!!

Sage: The fact that you knew each other since the Academy probably plays a big role in this, but I honestly envy the bond you two forged with each other.

Sage: Being on the same page as your fellow teammate, understanding each other well, I believe that’s more important than anything at this moment…

Bianchi: Sei-chan…

Jude: Sage actually knows his stuff better than what I expected. Got a feeling we’re gonna make a great pair of teammates, you and I

Sage: Really…!?

Bianchi: Wait a sec. I’m like, offended by all of this, you know!?

Jude: Ahahaha

Bianchi: Come on…!

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Reiji Ecstasy [05]

CHAPTER MASTERLIST

ー The scene starts in the living room of Kino’s manor

Kino: Haahー Ahー ...That Old Fart seriously pisses me off!

Yuuri: You’re still upset about that, Kino?

Kino: We could be here all day and I still would have more to complain about! Just who does he think I am!? Lecturing me for what felt like forever!

Besides, how come that girl wasn’t at the Vibora Castle? None of this makes any sense!

I was told that she wouldn’t make it back out once inside...Did somebody give me a false report?

It seriously grinds my gears...!

Yuuri: Calm down, please. You still have tricks up your sleeve. 

Kino: You’re right. Even though we missed the mark in regards to Eve, we got lucky that the Church eliminated the Vibora for us. 

That’s one opponent less to worry about and I didn’t have to lift a single finger myself...I guess my time has come. 

Yuuri: Yes, exactly. 

Kino: Still, it’s hard to believe a human would storm the Demon World. I was rather surprised, to be honest. 

Yuuri: I suppose that just proves how desperate he truly is. ...Could this be what they call the love between a parent and their child?

Kino: Hmー? Cannot relate. 

Yuuri: My apologies, Kino. I crossed the line just now.

Kino: Nah, it’s fine. ...Don’t worry. I have you and the others after all. 

Yuuri: ...

Kino: Huh? Your face tells me you’re not convinced? 

Yuuri: ...No, you’re just imagining it. 

ー One of the Ghouls enters the room

Male Ghoul C: Pardon me. ...I have come to report. 

Kino: I’m listening?

Male Ghoul C: Lend me your ear please. ...It seems. This time, there should be no mistakes. 

Kino: ...Ahahaha. Found youー!

ー The scene shifts to the living room of the Mukami manor

*Pshhh*

Reiji: ...

Yui: What’s wrong?

Reiji: No...It’s nothing. 

Yui: ...Please ask me if there’s anything I can do for you. For example...

Selection

→ Cook

Yui: ( It’s nice how we’re stocked up on plenty of ingredients because the others went grocery shopping for us. )

Reiji: Thank you very much. I will definitely rely on your services at a later point in time.

Yui: ...Okay. Are there any requests you would like to make?

Reiji: Let me think. I suppose I would like a dish which combines multiple different cuisines into one. I am very much looking forward to the flavor combinations you will come up with. 

Yui: Eeh?

( Will I be able to make that? I feel like that’d be hard to pull off from the first try... )

Reiji: ...Fufu, I am only joking. I will eat anything you’ve made with pleasure. 

Yui: ...

( It’s honestly kind of embarrassing when he says it up-front like that...! )

→ Give him a massage (❦)

Reiji: That would be very helpful. Where will you massage me? 

Yui: Then, your hand...Excuse me.

*Rustle*

Yui: ( I’ll press down rather hard on the palm of his hand... )

*Rustle rustle*

Reiji: ...I can definitely feel that.

Yui: Does it hurt, perhaps?

Reiji: No, not at all. If anything, it still feels somewhat lacking.

Yui: Eh? I’m sorry...

Reiji: However, I feel comforted simply watching you fervently squeeze my hand like that. 

Yui: I see...

Reiji: Yes. We can swap places once you get tired, so could you please keep going just a bit longer?

Yui: Sure...!

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: ( Well then, we’ve finished our tea, so what shall we do now? )

Reiji: ...

Yui: ( I think I’ll step away for a bit. It’s clear he’s thinking very deeply about something. )

I’ll go do a little cleaning, okay? 

Reiji: Yes...If you’d please. 

ー The scene shifts to the balcony

Reiji: ( The report I received from Ruki this morning...I suppose Eden’s demise cannot be evaded after all. )

( Ever since that day on which I decided that I would continue to act based on my own emotions, its break-down has become more apparent than ever. )

( While I expected this to happen, being directly confronted with its decay does hurt. )

( ...I wonder if something else at Eden is falling to ruin at this very moment I can feel my heart ache? )

( This world held no secrets for Father. Therefore, he must have surely been aware that this would happen. )

( In that case...Why did he choose me as his successor regardless? )

( One would almost assume that he made his decision hoping that Eden...No, that the whole world would be destroyed. )

( I simply cannot believe that Father - out of all people - would make the wrong caーー ... )

ーー ...Could it be?

( What if he deliberately chose me...Knowing that all of this would occur? )

No way, that is simply ridiculous...

ー The door opens

Reiji: ...!

Yuma: Yo. Whatcha lookin’ all down ‘bout? I went and got everyone. Now come. 

Reiji: ...I will be right there. 

ー Yuma walks away

Reiji: ...Father.

Were you perhaps...trying to bring an end to this world...? 

ー The scene shifts to the living room

Kou: Just as we thought, the Sakamaki manor has been invaded by a mixture of Ghouls and Church people, it was a real mess. 

Azusa: The manor was heavily guarded as well...So there was no way we could sneak inside...

Yuma: If we wanna save those dudes, we’re really gonna have to come up with one hell of a wacky plan to break through their line of defense. 

Reiji: As we feared. Which means...

I believe I will need a bit more time to come up with a plan. 

Yui: ...

( I wonder what’s going on inside his head this time? )

Monologue

I have faith in him,

but when I look at him right now,

I get kind of worried. 

A way to stop Eden’s break-down,

a way to save (助ける方法) the others,

everything regarding the Vibora or the Church.

I can tell he is being surrounded, by a plethora of tricky issues,

all concentrated in one. 

Then there’s me who can do nothing but stand by his side (寄り添うことしか),

watching him from the side,

as I try and hide the sigh,

which falls from my lips. 

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[skylolacreativespace]

Dreams in a soft mood💚

NA: hii!! In writing this when it's 2am in the morning 😅 I'm not tired so I thought to write something to get me to sleep..and I feel really soft like really soft and needy child :3 I loved writing this!

I hope you enjoy! As always this is sweet, and SFW if you don't like this you can scroll 💜

Dream was feeling in a soft and needy mood. He wanted tickles..and he wants them now. Really badly, so he swung himself out of his gaming chair that he was pre editing in before, and playfully - with full on attention marched out of his gaming office door, and marched to George's door and quickly banged on the door, he didn't want to bang it so loud but he wanted the tickles! You had to give him some empathy right?

George jumped on his bed, that he was chili h on lying flat on the bed and vibing to his music from his headphones. Until he heard this.. *BANG!* From his door, he swiftly got up from his bed and casually walked to his door, and gently opened it by turning the knob around. And before he knew it he saw Dream. What could he want? Why is he being so desperate right now? George is actually in a different mindset..his every day mindset and not his content creator one, so he's really calm and collected then chaotic. He looked up at Dream lovingly.

“Hey dream..what is it?” George softly asked looking at the American Minecraft who's being needy. Which George can clearly see.

Dream struggled. He wanted to say "tickles" but he couldn't! His mouth was as if it was closed preventing for him to verbally communicate with his beloved best friend! He thought deeply because..and then he realised he was being too needy. So he looked back at George with a smile hoping that was a good enough message to him.

George understood quite well, and wrapped his arms around Dream picking him up off the ground walking to George's bed and George sat down to the back of his bed cross-legged with Dream on his chest laying, in a Comfortable, pleasing manner. George chuckled softly to Dream, and Dream's face was so big in smiles.

“Sooooo Dream..tickles?” George asked Dream in a teasy, and playful attempt to get Dream to break into giggles without barely starting.

Dream nodded excitedly. He wasn't breaking yet! He was looking forward to this! He wasn't going to hide his need for tickles!

George smiled, and slowly crept his finger under neath Dream's underarms and a small little smile can be seen on Dream's face. George laughed kindly, and begins to scribble his fingers in Dream's left under arms making Dream fall into laughter! He squirmed and kicked his legs.

“AHAHAHA! GEORGE NO! WAIT- I DON'T WANT THIS ANYMORE!” Dream giggled, and obviously lied Playfully and bashfully to George who kept going with his tickles, Dream felt George's fingers travel upwards to his neck..oh no. “EHEHE! GEORGE! DON'T. I REPEAT DON'T GO THERE!”

George in a teasy manner smirked, and instantly shot his fingers up to Dream's neck doing the complete opposite to what his best friend said. Dream instantly spilled air bubbly giggles.

“Ahaha! AHAHAHAHA!!" Dream giggled and twisted, turned his body side to side laughing to his delight, George kept going.

“J feel like you're enjoying this green boi!” George smiled pleasantly, and playfully attacked Dream's arms by trailing his soft, fingers down his arm up and down like a violin, this made Dream go crazy.

“NO! NO! NOHOHOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!" Dream screamed, in childish laughter and moved his arm all over the place so George won't get to it, but turns out that plan failed, and George went to that area! “ehehe- okay okay! I get it!”

George laughed along with Dream and realised that Dream has enough, and slowly pulled his fingers back to him, he pulled Dream closer to him and wrapped his arms around Dream comfortingly, and in a loving embrace. Dream fell into the living embrace and smiled softly, George smiled softly back. It was a peaceful afternoon, as the two Minecraft boys fell asleep, without a care in the world.

Even Minecraft YouTubers need tickles. To have their day be good in the end.

[unbrcakablc-hcart]

whats usually on your shopping list?

what is in your pockets/bag/etc. right now?

what is something you care desperately about? something you just couldnt live without?

feeling curious, friend! 😊

VASH TALKING ABOUT HIMSELF WHAT DUMBASS THINGS WILL HE SAY? What's usually on your shopping list?

Oh, this one's easy.

nonperishable food; preferably enough to last two weeks, small enough to keep in my bag without weighing me down too much.

bottled water, enough to last two weeks if rationed well

.45 long colt bullets, enough for two full reloads (SUPER EXPENSIVE, most my cash goes to this)

extremely basic first-aid supplies like bandages, gauze, and antiseptics

basic clothes and weapon maintenance; oil, thread, needles, that sort of thing

I try to keep things on the cheap side. I guess I don't have to worry so much about being weighed down by junk since I have the bus, though?

What is in your pockets/bag/etc. right now?

Oh, well, I've got my bullets in one of my pockets, and my phone usually goes into another one. My gun's holstered because I just feel safer having it immediately on me.

My bag's not super exciting. I think I still have some nonperishables in there that I haven't really touched since coming to Home. I've got my first aid kit and I've got my usual touch-up stuff. Um...

Why do I feel like I'm forgetting something. I think my "getting wasted" tie is in there...

...

I don't think I actually have anything really exciting or interesting in there!

What is something you care desperately about? Something you just couldn't live without?

Well... I care deeply about people. Not just my family and friends, but... just about damn near everybody else, too.

Um... ahahaha... I don't know. There's a lot of things I know I can live without.

...I guess basic human connection? Being liked? I mean, I know I can live without it, I have before, but... eh. I dunno. This question's a lot harder for me, I'm sorry!

[tokkiasnanowrimo]

nano | day 20

words: 1,716/1,667

notes: no i didn't stay up late writing, no i didn't forget to post an update, i just got lazy and then i got caught up in thinking about a personal trainer natsu au lol i am at the point in the challenge where i feel i am losing a bit of steam. i'm mostly adding stuff to existing scenes--which is good because i have a lot of holes that need to be filled, but i feel like i'm getting stuck a lot and not knowing where to start when i go to write at the start of the day. i feel like there's a big chunk missing at sort of the beginning of the fic but i'm not sure what to add and it's beginning to frustrate me. i need to hash it out but right now i don't have the time to really think about it, i only have time to write. that's why i'm not getting big numbers above what my minimum is anymore, because i worry that if i work too much on it i'm going to start resenting this fic altogether. i don't want that to happen because i'm nearly 40k words in and that would feel like a waste plus like 50 people voted for this. idk why because this au feels boring as shit but whatever. i'm getting good multichap writing experience for later for some reason this fic is turning into something of a sickfic because the document that is dedicated to natsu getting hit by a car and lucy taking care of his is like 5500 words and my second longest document is about 3500. my docs are separated by topic and not by chapter (which i get is a weird way to do it but it's been working for me thus far), so those 5500 words are spread across about 3 chapters but i need to figure out something to sort of make it so it's not just oh look at poor little injured natsu. i have a mini lucy arc that i've mostly written that i'm thinking i could shoehorn in there but i'm not entirely sure it would work? the timeline is so deeply murky, i have like 5 and a bit arcs planned in my head, and 4 written out, i know where 2 of them go and i don't know how the rest of them fit. i keep putting the timeline planning off in favour of just getting words down because this first draft is going to need to be just absolutely torn to shreds next month, but i may be writing myself into plotholes if i don't figure it out soon, ahahaha,,,,, anyway if you read all of that wow congrats i'll give you a kiss on the forehead

quote: She wasn’t exactly sure when it had become “her” side—she didn’t particularly have a preference when she was sleeping on her own, but now that Natsu was there, they seemed to have an unspoken agreement on who was sleeping where.

total word count: 36,6977/50,000

[nulltune]

hakuno:

is characterized as a nobody with no place in the world who has nothing and is nothing

doesn't even have memories of a home or a family or friends or anything like that

has mostly met people who look down on her, insult her or don't want to associate with her

^ is used to that and doesn't see anything wrong with it because of her terrible view of herself (has absolutely no self love / self love / any positive thing related to herself)

is actually deeply lonely and desires affection / real and genuine positive relationships

has a lot of mental baggage that keeps her from accepting love for herself / from others despite craving it

pretty much explains why hakuno is the way she is honestly! sO LIKE-- is it really surprising if i said that this lady has some attachment issues FDJFHSJFSGSH

what i mean by that is, hakuno is likely to have a attachment and / or mental dependence to specific people by virtue of them being the first person to accept her / giving her the companionship she craves in spite of her "flaws". i see this person being her servant in canon but as i have strayed far from it and mostly interact in verses other than fate i maaay just leave that slot open because it's interesting to explore 👁👄👁✨️ (interactions matter a lot!)

canon does have it in a more romantic light (in regards to the girls especially) but i do want it to be a little more complex for my hakuno... she's bad at understanding her own feelings and won't really think about whether it's platonic or romantic or familial. simply registers it as "this person is most important to me" and wouldn't even realize how attached she is methinks. also gotta remember that that bond would quite literally be all that she has, calling them her everything isn't an exaggeration but more like plain fact. to her, it's what gives meaning to her life and is her reason to keep living. canon also portrays it in a more positive light, but i want it to be more of mixed bag kinda thing because as sweet as it is, depending on someone so heavily to justify your existence and placing all of your worth and happiness on them is never a good thing. -cough- CODEPENDENCE -cough-

and like.... it boggles my mind how canon doesn't explore hakuno's dependency more because we do get moments of just how intense it is!!

exhibit a. meeting a version of them that has no memories of her: [...] really has forgotten about me. As soon as I recognize that, an unidentified pain runs through my chest. — I can’t breathe. — my vision goes white. — I desperately hold back my desire to scream out “why.” …I can’t believe this. 

exhibit b. seeing them incapicated: I can't think of anything but that terrible sight. My strong, capable Servant is lying helpless on the floor [...] I can't believe what I'm seeing. This can't be real. It's a dream, right? No, I can't wake up from this dream... it's real.

^ also really interesting to think about because hakuno has always had an unusual sort of calm to her (she's a mess of all sorts of things on the inside tho, ahahaha don't be fooled) and is someone who accepts the truth and reality of a situation. so a reaction like that? very uncharacteristic but Interesting(TM). hakuno's just so simple yet full of contraditions adsgfhdj she's an interesting specimen!! a very interesting and complex character with a lot of room for development imo -i clutch my chest-

and like..... i'm sorry but she reacted that badly to them collapsed..... if she sees them die she's gonna straight up lose her shit i think /hj

[kithtaehyung]

im back! ive read more babe!

doms pov is amazing. i see why everyone is deeply in love with her. add me to that list because this girl is a queen.

like that: listen, i need a word with the depths of your brain because 🥴 i mean what the hell. yoongi dropping in the “i’ll wait forever if I have to” in between a whole litany of filth. this man is in l$ve. ngl read this smut scene like three times dammmnnn. the “hot clown” hair convo def made me laugh though they’re so cute. the tickling they’re such a couple stop.

anytime: yoongi stayed the whole damn night 😭 bro is sus with not yelling (like he shouldnt but if thats his normal then sus) TAE AND JIMIN WHAT TAE AND JIMIN. tae coming to the game but not the club makes so much fucking sense now. yuri is also a real one. but dom… yeah im still a tae enthusiast here but im for real in love with her now. but also bro. god all your characters are beautiful… flawed and human and beautiful. dom,bro,tae, jimin though best “side” characters ever. YOONGI IN THE KITCHEN… literal l$ve… oh shit jimin dropping the truth about basketball (i went back and reread and wow… everything makes sense. mygs paranoia on their walk damn ryen) yoongi thinking oc forgot him im dying. and then that phone call… youre killing me

sundress season: i have little to say. this is just perfect. texting yoongi is the hottest. yoongi being so turned on by oc looking like that (i mean who can blame him) her friends clowning cause she so fucking obvious made me laugh. and then this phone call. you want us in pain right thats what this is ryen?

okay so i have dal segno and apple bobbing left. and then im also gonna peek at those slices you have too. im almost all caught up!

-🎻

VIOLIN YESSS you're almost all caught-up! i'm so happy for you (and it's definitely a lot, huh? lmfao i gotta know how you are once you've gotten through it all.)

*slams table* DOM!! hell yeah. get in line for dom bc that girl is, as you said it, an absolute queen.

like that: SDIFJFJ oh my god like that is one of my faves!! yoongi being a smidge soft amongst all the filth was so fun to write. he's in what now?? i'm stoked as hell you like the spice here bc these two def surprised me! and the end with the hair playing?? tickling?? can these two just.. i mean.. ???

anytime: YEAH. AND TAE AND JIMIN AHAHAHA things are starting to fall into place, huh! and yuri is so fcking cute i want to hold her. of course we have dom being the baddest, my g o d. so happy you enjoy the whole character list! it's been a joy to write everyone, both their flaws and their shining moments. tbh i'm getting a little choked up just thinking about all of them and how much they've come to mean to me. they're all human, and they're all just trying their best. i think that's what we all should strive to do. and then yoongi in the kitchen LMFAO THAT LITTLE-😭 he needs to answer for his crimes!! everything slotting into place after jimin's reveal, too. when i tell you how hard it was for me to keep that in for months? the hardest thing in existence but i knew i wanted to do it for y'all.

sundress season: perfect? what? hold on i'm gonna sob :(( yoongi's phone needs to be confiscated at once lmfaoooo but him losing his mind? gd. that's what we love to seeeeee!! reader's always seen losing it but to see his perspective was great, too. in pain? i meeean. if i have to suffer, we are all suffering lmfao.

have a good ass time with the rest, love! this commentary is just wonderful and made me feel so warm. see you in 3tan9!

[magicline]

Yumekuro • Link (Rainbow-coloured Wedding Road) Sun Route Meister Story Translation Part 3/3 (with Story CG Spoiler)

(A/N): It is recommended to read the story with in-game voiced lines ! Beware of spoilers and enjoy reading ^_^

⚠️ STRICTLY NO REPOSTS !

Special Connection.

The empty and quiet cathedral, is now filled with no one but silence.

To retrieve the equipments and data we left behind, me and Link returned to the cathedral.

Emma : The wedding and reception were really beautiful. The wedding dress made by Adele looked amazing too.

Link : Lagoon’s parade car has gotten a good reputation. The bride and groom were happy, I’m truly glad for that. 

Link : That reminded me. Before we head back to the apartment, can I check out some of the videos we took?

Emma : Sure.

Sitting together on one of the benches in the cathedral, he checked the videos in the medium that was used for the recordings. 

Emma : Huh? This is the only data that isn’t labeled. 

Link : What is, this?

*the video plays*

Priest : The groom, Link. You will take Emma as your wife—

Priest :In sickness and in health, do you pledge to support one another with love?

Link : Yes, I swear.

Gob : Woof!

Emma : Thank you, Gob.

Link : Emma, put your hand on the basket. Smile and keep your eyes on the camera. 

Emma : Like this?

Link : I'd like to be a little closer to you…… like this.

*video stops playing*

Emma : The video from the modeling gig…… I don't know how it got mixed up.

Emma : I did check the equipments thoroughly, but maybe not when I was checking the data…

Link : …….

Emma : Link, what’s wrong?

Link : Ah…. nothing, it’s probably too late now. Raising the bride’s veil scene, I just realised we don’t have that one.

Emma : You mean the veil-up? Yeah, this time the veil was designed to only cover the back of the head. 

The veil-up ceremony, in which the groom lifts the veil that is covering the bride’s face before the kiss of vows. 

Emma : I’ve done a lot of research, on how to produce a wedding……

Emma : By lifting the veil, it’s meant to break down the wall between us (the bride and groom) or something like that. 

Link : Woah, it seems you’ve studied a lot.

Emma : I had a lot of fun while researching for it. There was a bit of a longing to do it too. 

Link : …… Since I’m here, we could give it a try.

Emma : Huh?

Link : I don’t have the real veil, but Adel-san gave me a piece of lace fabric. 

Link : They were going to throw them away halfway through the process, so I figured I'd use them to make some props.

Emma : Fufu. It's not every day you get a chance to come to such a beautiful cathedral, so I might as well give it a try.

Link : Ahahaha, sure. Well then, I’m going to take it in a minute. 

Link pulls out a piece of lace fabric and a hairpin, from a bag filled with props.

Link : Just for a moment, stay still alright. 

The gentle touch of his fingertips on my hair, it made me feel a little bit nervous. 

Eventually, the lace fabric was softly lowered in front of my face. 

Link : Here you go. You're fine to move now. 

Emma : Wah… Amazing, it looks like a real veil.

Link : I’m glad you liked it ♪

Link : It’s time for the veil-up, let’s do it. Emma, this way.

Prompted by Link, I stood in front of the altar so we could face each other. 

Emma : (As of now, I’m getting super nervous……)

Link : ……

The veil is slowly lifted. 

When I looked up, I saw Link’s bright smile right next to me—

Link : …….Like this. What do you think? 

Emma : I find it, kind of emotional……. I think? Cathedrals at night feels so solemn, maybe that’s why I could feel the emotions way more than I should. 

Link : I feel deeply moved too…… I’m certain I’m feeling that way?

Link : Look at you now. You look so beautiful. 

Emma : Oh!

After hearing the straightforward compliment, my cheeks immediately started to heat up.

Link : After observing today’s wedding, a thought appeared on my mind. 

Link : It had to be him. It had to be her. 

Link : They love and care for each other so much, to the point where they decided to be together forever—

Link : —With someone whom they can connect with so deeply, and I find that wonderful. 

Emma : Ah… I agree. 

I was so happy when a radiant smile appeared on Link’s face, it was very contagious it made me smiled too. 

Link : I've never met someone that made me feel that way yet, unless…

Emma : Unlesss? 

Link : …… Unless the 'someone' could be you?

Link let out a chuckle, and softly touched my cheeks. 

Emma : (Was he joking around? Or……)

Eventhough I wasn’t sure myself, I was truly glad when I heard Link said that. 

I had a faint feeling that something is about to happen, it was pounding againts my chest with my quickening heartbeat—

Finished.

(A/N): If there are misspellings, mistranslations etc. please let me know and excuse me. 🙏

Next : Moon Route Meister Story Translation Part 1

Prev. chapter : Sun Route Part 2

[youmissedone]

Catalina liked to pretend that the apocalypse hadn’t affected her at all, but with Carlos, it was so much harder to mask her true emotions. They had too much shared life experience, what with them both being Latinos who’d grown up poor and gotten screwed over by Umbrella, for Catalina to ever be able to hide everything from him. Now, here in her apartment, Catalina leaned her head on Carlos’ shoulder.

“I hate Umbrella,” she whispered with conviction. He would’ve seen the vulnerability in the statement. “I hate them for creating this mess. I hate them from taking everything from me. And I hate them for taking everything from you. I thought I was going straight, but… so much for that.”

Carlos knew Catalina’s story all too well at this point, but he was the only one she’d ever shared it with. When her father died, her mother’s depression put her in a semi-catatonic state, and Catalina had used her assets to get herself on an old, rich man’s boat and to the U.S. She took missions as a spy for various groups, but Umbrella snatched her up, and she was satisfied with that until she learned about the absolute hell they’d caused. Without Umbrella, she was out of a job, but she was fine with that. She’d begun doing freelance missions, using her espionage skills on corrupt Umbrella operatives while Carlos watched out for her. She’d never forced him to go undercover with her, but it was nice to have that extra support.

“The bioterrorist I met today thinks I would have cute kids,” she said, idly playing with a strand of her dark hair. “I’m not sure if I should be flattered or horrified. Both, maybe. Then he tried to kiss me… I wanted to throw up. He was talking about using clones to create a perfect society. It all gets the same after a while, gross men with an ego problem who firmly believe that it’s their responsibility to create a ‘perfect world’.” Catalina’s dark eyes met Carlos’, and she said, “solo hay un hombre al que he amado, mi media naranja. Me alegro de tenerte siempre. El hombre en el tejado que vigila mis seis.”

People were scary, there was no denying that, but so were feelings, at least to Catalina. That was maybe the most vulnerable thing she’d said in her life. What if Carlos thought she was just some dirty girl who was using him? He’d seen her work on missions, and if he rejected her, she understood why. Catalina smiled a little.

“So… that’s out there now. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. You deserve better than me.”

{translation = There’s only one man I’ve ever loved, my half orange (it has the connotation of my better half/my soulmate). I’m glad to have you always. The man on the roof watching my six.

she’s been crushing on him SO hard ahahaha, we’ll see how this goes}

__________

As much as Catalina felt she couldn’t hide certain things from Carlos, he felt the same way about her. Their similar backgrounds and common experiences has fostered an unspoken understanding between them that brought down a lot of walls early on. Far earlier than Carlos was used to letting someone in. In general, he was a humorous, caring, warm individual, when he wasn’t in soldier mode, that is. But a lot of that was still only surface level. Rarely did he really let someone inside, but somehow Catalina had been one of those people.

As she confessed her hatred for Umbrella and for everything they’d ruined and destroyed in the world and for both of them, Carlos found himself agreeing wholeheartedly. What he’d thought was a great opportunity that would help him secure a more stable life and help open doors for him turned out to be a nightmare. And the guilt of feeling like he’d been a part of that machine, a part of why the world was now in shambles, really cut deeply sometimes.

He put a gentle arm around her shoulders. “I feel the same way, but... you can’t blame yourself. We really shouldn’t blame ourselves for this,” he said, trying to help her out of the deep hole of negative thoughts she’d buried herself in. “We didn’t know what Umbrella was really about and everything they had a hand in around the world, and if we had known, you and I both know we wouldn’t have wanted this. We would not have knowingly taken part in any of this, you know that. I feel it too, the anger and the guilt, but eventually, we’ve gotta forgive ourselves our ignorance and acknowledge that the real culpable party here is Umbrella.”

Hearing what she’d had to put up with on her missions made Carlos pissed off for her, but he knew she was capable enough to handle it. He was sorry that she had to handle it in the first place, but he didn’t doubt her skills. “Isn’t it funny how the least perfect of us always seem to want to create a perfect race or world or whatever...” he mused. He was about to say something else when she switched to Portuguese, causing his brain to shift a bit in thought as he listened to her. Her words caused him to grin warmly as he tilted his head to look at her, but he didn’t say anything at first, knowing that her admission probably took a lot for her to say. She was a guarded person, with good reason since she was a spy, and Carlos knew it hadn’t been easy for her to say all of that.

But just as soon as she’d admitted her feelings for him, she seemed to reel them back, even suggesting that he deserved better than her. “Says who, first of all,” he said, “and second... what, better than an intelligent, beautiful, interesting, caring woman who is very good at putting me in my place?” His grin grew. “Nah, I don’t think so. I think I’d be pretty damn lucky to have you.” After a moment, he revised his statement. “I think I am lucky to have you,” he whispered, gazing into her eyes. “And you have me for as long as you want me.”

[thenexusofsouls]

[ Knowhere Left To Go ]

Mantis had noticed that Nuada was angry before he even told her so. Nevertheless, she was not afraid of him. He was not evil, he was… misguided. He was compassionate when it came to non-humans, and Mantis was glad he wanted to speak with her, but… she didn’t understand why. Nuada was naturally distrustful and he cared deeply for his people, so Mantis assumed he’d turn to them for comfort and reassurance. Why would he turn to her? Perhaps he felt disconnected from the rest of his people after his self-imposed exile.

Despite Nuada’s anger, Mantis was serene and calm. She had to be if she wanted to help him. As Nuada admitted he was the last warrior of his people, her eyes widened, even though she disagreed with his choice of words as he said he was the last. Other elves could become warriors as well, if they wanted. “Really? You must be a formidable warrior,” she said. Mantis didn’t want Nuada to feel like he didn’t matter. Being different from the rest of his kind was not necessarily a bad thing. At least his kind were still there, present enough for him to draw comparisons and decide he wasn’t like them. I hope I won’t have to touch him. I hope he will never know what being the last truly feels like.

She looked at him again as he said he was proud of his people, even though he used a language that consistently separated them from himself. Mantis spun around, walking backward as she watched him, light-hearted. “But you are one of them. Not only that; you are their Prince. I am sure they still see you as such, you did so much for them.” Mantis turned around to actually see where she was going, but she was startled by a sudden laughter, one that she instantly recognized.

“Ahahaha! No way!” Drax yelled from somewhere. Mantis turned her head to see what was going on: Drax and the elven man were still laughing, though louder than before. Drax brightened when he saw her. “Mantis! Come meet this guy! He is hilarious!”

“Maybe later, Drax, thank you!” Mantis beamed and waved at him. Everywhere she turned to there was laughter and music, and she couldn’t help but sway to the beat for a moment. As she resumed walking, Mantis glanced at the Prince. She was curious about the duality of his emotions: feeling genuinely happy for his people but, at the same time, being unable to enjoy this fresh start with them. It was truly unfortunate. She wanted to help him, but she didn’t know how. “Um… So is there anything you would like to talk about? If not, that is okay, but… I am here to listen.”

__________

Nuada could tell that Mantis really didn’t understand, and that came as no surprise. Many races on earth were not aware of the Sun Elves culture, so why would he expect alien races to be? When she commented that he must be a formidable warrior, Nuada answered without hesitation, “I am. I have worked hard to become so, and to maintain myself. It is as much an artform as a calling.” A pause, and then he said with a tremble in his voice, “There is not likely to be another.”

“My father’s treaty with the humans ended the war and made our warrior class obsolete. Because of that, no new young ones took up the calling. Now it has been hundreds of years, and I am the last. Those who remain know nothing of weapons beyond those small few used in self-defense. They know nothing the training, the conditioning, the diet, the sacrifices… Their callings are found in books or through song or with the written word. They study medicine, history, music, language… there are not even many dancers anymore, let alone warriors. It is a dying art, our style of fighting… and when I fade, it will be a dead one.”

Her next words made it even clearer that she did not understand Nuada’s relationship with his people. “A prince in name, perhaps, but I gave up my claim to the throne when I went into exile. Among my people, I am a pariah, whispered about. They do not know me, they only know what my father has told them for centuries. Most… want nothing to do with me. Others fear me. They look to my sister to rule when our father is gone, not to me. They need only to look at me to see that I am tainted,” he said, referring to the dark coloration of his skin around his facial features.

Had Mantis wanted to go and speak to Drax and the Elven man, Nuada would have politely excused himself. Speaking to his own people had begun to cause him high anxiety of late, especially since arriving on Knowhere. He was surprised when she stayed and kept walking with him, and yet he frowned when she awkwardly asked if there was anything else he wanted to talk about. “I am making you uncomfortable… aren’t I…?” he supposed. “I am sorry. That was not my intention. I have… no one else to speak to at present. My friends, those I spoke to and who comforted me, all remained on Earth.” Oh, and how he missed Mr. Wink and the bark children, wondering if they were well and feeling very alone indeed.

[lessapander]

Right, so. Just the grande finale/whatever the name of the final route is called to go, and I thought I might ramble a little to get my thoughts in order about Steam Prison (specifically on Switch, so Fin's route is included by default).

Mild spoilers under the "read more". Nothing plot-based, just my personal thoughts about world-building or personality stuff with the LI's/Cyrus.

tl;dr: I liked this game, but the plot and pacing really drags a lot, and I feel like it was trying really hard to not be an otome game, and getting dragged down by the fact that it is, indeed, an otome game.

World Building: Right off, this is my favourite part of the whole game. There was so much room for cool exploration of the differences between the Heights and the Depths that I feel got kind of pushed to one side. I suspect that this is because the otome-ness of the game interfered with really exploring that, but it still had a lot of (ahahaha) depth to it. The fact that the two cultures have deviated written languages was a very interesting point that I felt should've really been explained more, for example. Or why the people in the Depths revere Yune, though he only became a saint after leaving for the Heights. What's up with that? I kind of hope some things may get a bit clearer once I do the final route, but I'm not holding my breath.

Voice Acting: Always top notch. No complaints. Excellent casting choices. Especially impressed with Furukawa Makoto (Adage) and Shingaki Tarasuke (Fin) during their anguished scenes. Also deeply enjoyed Kameyama Yuji (Sachsen) in his very villainous role. I'm not in the camp of wanting a route for him, but I can definitely understand why. They really let him go wild in that role.

Eltcreed Route: I went in thinking he'd be my favourite LI and was wrong for once. He's just kind of weird and inconsistently written. They tried to hint that he's got an iron fist ruling his territory in his route, but it really doesn't come across well (it was better executed in Ulrik's with a few points, but ... still a bit meh). His route did provide me with some of the best one-liners of the game, however, and spawned an in-joke with my partner as a result of some of the dialogue options.

Ulrik Route: Probably the least logical among the LI's in terms of ending up with Cyrus. His plot was the highest stakes (in my opinion) but also kind of dithered out in a few of the endings. It felt like they chose one ending that would be "the ending" for each of the routes, but I really felt it with Ulrik's. Most of his endings (and the Elt ending hidden in his route) didn't really have the same ring of sincerity for me. I did like him as a character, but not as a love interest for Cyrus.

Adage Route: Similar to Ulrik, I felt like his route was a bit illogical but only really had one ending that was up to snuff. It was very satisfying finding more out about the overall plot in his route, and starting to solve the mysterious nature of Cyrus' parents' death, but I again felt like he just wasn't a very good fit for her romantically. A lot of the romance kind of got in the way of other plot and on occasion annoyed me. The pacing and timing of the route also was really bizarre and hard to track at times. However, the intertwining of Fin's story and Ines' behind the scenes work with the HOUNDS was expertly woven in on route-replay. Thumbs up to that. I actually was very pleased to see how that was handled. Similar to Eltcreed, some of the one-liners in this route have resulted in an in-joke with my partner about childbirth and where babies come from.

Ines Route: So his endings were a bit more varied and made sense, but I really hate the final CG for his good ending. It's a personal nitpick, though. Overall, he was kind of my least favourite of the LI's because he was just so ... bland. He almost never committed to anything until the very end of his route, and his brushing off of Sachsen's rampages really kind of bothered me. His route does have some of the most twisted Fin interactions hidden in it, though (oh man, poor Fin).

Yune Route: I wondered how romance with an immortal god-like being would go and didn't expect the direction this route took. Turns out, he's a little bit of a sociopath. Go figure. Playing this route after Ines was a bit refreshing, because he has a similar attitude of apathy to Ines, but at a basically global scale. Most of his endings made sense, though I was very annoyed that his "good" ending puts the majority of the plot and story after the credits with no choices to be made. I get why it was done that way, but man. Annoying.

Fin Route: Poor. Fucking. Fin. I think his is probably the overall best otome route and the one I enjoyed the most, and it's probably due to the fact that he and Cyrus have so much history to build on. It felt more organic than the other romance routes, even though there was less plot and overall development. It really felt like the other routes were trying to be a regular VN and build a story around a really cool world with the romance shoehorned in as an afterthought, while Fin's was pure otome with a bit of the world surrounding them. So it was kind of a nice one to end with, honestly. I was starting to get a bit burnt out on the half-assed love affairs. That said, I do have some beef with Cyrus in this route (I have beef with Cyrus in every route, but especially this one lol).

Impressions of Cyrus: There's good and there's bad. She's sassy, has a strong sense of justice, and takes decisive actions. She's a bit of a feminist and very resilient. But because they wanted to her to also be naive to romance and sex, the writing sometimes goes way too far off track and is completely illogical. There are times where it's funny (watching her learn about childbirth was amusing and fine; watching her learn about affection and romance was heart-warming) and times where I rolled my eyes because it just ruined scenes (eg: she knows what rape is, she knows rape is bad and protects other women from sexual assault, but somehow doesn't know that consensual sex exists???). There are holes in her logic in this area in particular that drove me bonkers, because there was no pattern to what she did and didn't comprehend when it came to relationships other than "love, BAD". Her happy ending with Fin was actually soured somewhat for me because of these misunderstandings.

So would I recommend it? Yeah. I would. And I'm looking forward to the fandisc. But man, it wasn't an easy one to get through. I used the skip function a lot more often during replay than I normally do (I have 100+ hours in a lot of otome games from just re-reading the dialogue to get new endings or missing scenarios, to see how it looks with fresh eyes; I did not do that with this game).

I also followed a guide to get the non-happy endings so I didn't have to spend time floundering about (which I normally enjoy a lot in otome games and VNs).

[sw4tch]

anyway here's my personal list of "bots who have something deeply wrong with them and i need to study them under a microscope"

Starscream (queen of my heart #1)

Prowl (i need to dip him in milk and smack him against the wall)

Pharma (babygirl you did nothing (everything) wrong)

Whirl (my favorite girl war criminal that accidentally ends up part of a polycule)

and yes, i know the thread connecting these choices is the main trait of "Traumatized af" but like 99% of transformers ARE also traumatized and not being a fucking mess like these girlies

I guess the general venn diagram of these is "Traumatized af AND with TERRIBLE coping mechanisms [if at all])

Starscream already got a whole post but his deal is "extreme narcissist that needs to feel in control at all times just to feel safe"

Prowl as far as i can tell is "man infected with cop brain and deep trust issues needs to feel in control of the situation at all times to not go insane"

Pharma is "local medic forced to commit atrocities snaps and embraces being a fucked up murderer just to feel in control of his life again, resents those who could have helped him and didn't"

Whirl is the one with the most clearly explained trauma in the comic and it is "local clockmaker gets his entire life stolen from him and made into a soldier, to cope with it he throws himself fully into the role, he's left with a whole lot of issues and he copes by being a self aggrandizing asshole with no regards for his own life or others. he's made it his mission to be as unlikable as possible by being, as previously mentioned, an asshole- because he thinks he's undeserving of love (and why would he want love anyway?! love's for WIMPS)."

Anyway WHEW. What a list amiright fellas.

Seeing them laid out like this is. wow! like hey! should I be worried that these 4 have ended up being faves* of mine!

because i feel that with these 4 I'm having a "recognition through the other" moment, and the recognition is "haha that's a personality disorder babey! you're on a path of self destruction you can't stop!"

which i guess when i put it like that it is worrying, but also I'm definitely not extreme AT ALL like these guys. but maybe that's why i love them so much.

They make me go "ahahaha at least i'm not falling apart like these guys. at least i'm a better person. at least i'm not committing their mistakes."

and seeing them just go down that self destructive path? gives me so much catharsis for some reason lmao

* Prowl can hardly be counted as one of my faves in the whole sense of the word. When i first read RID i just straight up loathed him. by the end of the run i was like "FUCKING PROWL CAN YOU DIE ALREADY". But now after i finished reading mtmte and RID i'm like. wow he's literally the fucking worst. i'm obsessed with seeing him humiliated over and over again. i need him to suffer. So i can't say i love him at all, but i do need to rotate him in the microwave of my mind until he explodes