#aitana bonmati angst

[delfiore]

—NOTHING IN THE WORLD BELONGS TO ME (BUT MY LOVE).

pairing: aitana bonmatí x reader

synopsis: a picture of you and aitana making out during a team party is leaked online.

word count: 4.2k

a/n: she's my bbg your honor.

“Thank you. Yeah, call me whenever you need to.”

You ended the phone call and groaned into your hand. It was almost dinnertime, but you had no energy left to even think of cooking after being on the phone for literal hours.

Walking into the living room, you found Aitana watching TV, or rather, the screen was on but she was staring into space somewhere.

“Paolo said it’s murky because we were in a public space, but not really ‘cause it was in the hallway. He’s getting paid to win this case though, and that he will,” you said.

Aitana looked at you briefly with a half smile.

She hasn’t talked much since this morning when the news came. You felt guilty for not having sat with her longer, but you needed to get your attorney involved as soon as possible.

“It’ll be okay, babe, I promise,” you sat next to her and put your arm around her shoulder. Still, she seemed tense.

“Is it . . .” Aitana drew a breath, “is it really that bad? That people know about us now?”

You sighed quietly, pulling your arm away to hold her downcast gaze. “It doesn’t matter. They sold those pictures to the press against our will. They infringed on our rights. I thought you understood that.”

Your tone came out harsher than you anticipated. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to . . .”

“No, todo bien.” She shook her head and sat up. “You want takeout or no?”

You mentally cursed at yourself as she turned off the TV. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

You watched her walk over to the island by the kitchen, to pick up her phone.

“Tana,” you said, and she turned around. “Te quiero mucho.”

Aitana mustered up the best smile she could, and you recognized that. She knew you were burdened with the responsibility of talking to attorneys, and you were trying very hard, but she was a bit disappointed that you wanted so badly to stop the pictures from going public. She was never good at the legal part, she didn’t know a lot, but she trusted you to make the right decisions, and she loved you a lot too.

The pictures were taken the night before, while you were out with the team to celebrate another league title win. It was the end of the season, and it would be a few weeks before the summer international break, and your teammates were down to party at a local club for the hard work of another season.

It had been an eventful one, full of trials and tribulations, for you especially. Having undergone a surgery, you were forced to the sidelines for a good chunk of the season. Aitana had been there with you through everything; staying in the hospital after your surgery, preparing your shared home for your foreseeable impediment, reminding you to take your daily meds . . . She was the only reason you were still standing, because the toll the injury took on you physically was a speck compared to how it did on you mentally.

You had gone to get another drink and, upon you returning, found Aitana dancing with some of your teammates on the dance floor. Grinning and shaking your head, you could never get enough of how much of a party animal your girlfriend could become when she was able to. A tint of pink adorned her cheeks when she spotted you and pulled you towards the dance floor with her.

“I’ll take that, thank you,” you pretended to be offended when she took the glass from your hand and took a sip, grimacing as soon as she did. “Ooh! It’s strong!”

“Slow down, baby,” you laughed at her.

Aitana snorted, “lame.” She slung her arm around your neck, as you giggled into her ear. “Come here.”

“Not here,” you shook your head and gently pushed her away.

You could just barely make out a her huff, as she pulled away. “You’re no fun. Let loose for one night, will you?”

A few drinks later, you found yourself with your arm slung around Lucy as the two of you led the disharmonious choir of Barcelona players singing (badly) to the music.

You heard Aitana cackling in the corner as the song finished, doubling over and clapping her hands at your drunken rendition of a Zedd song.

“Let’s go, everyone! Next round’s on me!” You said and your teammates cheered.

Your eyes found your girlfriend by your side, just as she always was, waiting to take care of you and share your happiness.

Her arms wrapped around your neck, pulling you to her, as you felt her laughter vibrate against your chest. You had pulled her away from the main floor and into a secluded hallway, or at least it was what you thought in your drunken haze.

Your lips were pressed against hers hungrily, with passion better saved for the privacy of your shared bedroom rather than a packed nightclub. Aitana let out a trembling sigh, enjoying the sweet taste of your kiss and the push and pull of your hands along her body.

“God, you’re so good to me,” you whispered into her lips. “I love you.”

She was oblivious to the storm that was to come when a club-goer snapped a picture of the two of you. Though the lighting left much to be desired, your features were captured perfectly, and within context, people put two and two together.

Aitana was the first to see the photo when she woke up the next morning. Maybe it’s not so bad, she had told herself, at least people know now.

She only regretted seeing the pure bliss on your face disappear the moment you found the picture online, and you had been on-call with your attorney ever since.

You never really shook off the tension that resided between your eyebrows, in the curl of your upper lip, and your shoulders over the next few days. You, Aitana, and the rest of the team were back in pre-season training, and everyone could tell you were stressing over it. Though you took training seriously, there was always a smile on your face even when someone had beaten you in a drill. Yet now, you scowled and kicked the grass whenever you lost the ball, or whenever someone dribbled past you. It got to the point where you got yourself into a scuffle with Lucy. Aitana had looked over at the commotion, and seen you all up in Lucy’s personal space, arguing with her, as a couple of the assistant coaches had to separate you from her.

Aitana hated the pitiful looks her teammates would give her afterwards. She clenched her jaw and watched Jonatan lead you inside for a talk. She was planning on giving you an earful when she caught you alone, but when you emerged with Jonatan, your eyes were bloodshot like you had been crying.

You refused to talk the entire car ride home, even refusing to look at her, opting to look out the window instead.

The moment you got home, you threw your dirty clothes into the laundry and headed upstairs.

“You want me to reheat leftovers, cariño?” She tried to ask.

“No, thanks,” you didn’t even look back. “I’m just gonna go and take a nap.”

You woke up around 8 pm. Aitana knew because she was downstairs watching TV when you skirted down the stairs like an apparition and crept into the kitchen looking for food.

She took the opportunity when you were distracted with dumping the rest of the content from the Tupperware onto a plate. Snaking her arms around your waist, she pressed her head onto your shoulder. She sighed in relief when she felt the warmth of your right hand encircle her own.

“I embarrassed myself today, didn’t I?” You said quietly.

Aitana pursed her lips and pulled you around to look at her. “That wasn’t very nice, no.”

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled into her shoulder.

“It’s not me you need to say sorry to,” your girlfriend sighed and hugged you tightly. “We will be okay, my love.”

“I just think about those picture, and I just . . .” You exhaled sharply and buried your nose into her neck. “Fuck, I just can’t stop thinking about it.”

“Yeah?” Aitana frowned, and cupped your cheeks, leaning in. “Why don’t I distract you for a bit?”

Her lips found yours in a tender kiss. For a moment, you let yourself get lost in the feeling of her touch and her love. Your lips slotted together in a kiss that became more intimate the moment Aitana slipped her hands under your shirt and caressed your pelvis. You groaned as you felt her drag her fingertips towards your back, stretching your waistband and pulling it further out so she could feel further down.

“Fuck . . .” You groaned impatiently, cupping her neck roughly as you used your hips to press her back against the counter.

She was breathless now, one hand in your shorts and the other itching to get your shirt off, but you pulled away before she could do anything.

“I’m sorry, I can’t do this today,” you sighed, detaching yourself from her completely to return to making your food.

Aitana watched you put the leftovers into the microwave before leaving you in the kitchen. She understood that you were stressed, but she was thrown off by the way you have been pushing her away the past few days. She knew herself; if she said something, you would say something, and before she knew it things would turn into an argument and someone would say something they didn’t mean.

Pushing the scenario to the back of her head, she headed upstairs to get ready for bed.

In the following days, she felt you pulling away further and further from her. The only times she really saw you were during training, otherwise you would avoid her completely. She spotted you standing in a hallway looking out the window once. Upon approaching you, she noticed you were on the phone with your earbuds in, and against her better judgment, left you be.

Your teammates noticed the sudden rift between you and Aitana too—you two who were always stuck at the hip, you two who turned to each other first in times of victory and defeat, you two whom everyone bet on tying the knot first. Frido was the first to reach out, and had Aitana brushed it off like it was something trivial, but her teammate saw right through the lie. Aitana was Aitana, never asking for help and always having gotten by on her own, but this time her Frido knew it was severe, because Aitana never misses a goal in training, never.

During a match at the weekend, Aitana scored. Usually, she would look to you and jump into your arms to celebrate, but this time, you were already walking back to the halfway line while several of her teammates swarmed her in glee. She felt sick to her stomach, she felt like everything was her fault, and her frustration built and before she knew it, she had stomped on an opponent’s ankle in an attempt to win the ball back. When she realized the weight of the situation, it was already too late; the incident happened just next to the sidelines in front of the assistant referee, and she was shown a red card for using excessive force.

Barcelona won, of course, as they always have, even whilst playing away and down to 10 men. You walked into the dressing room, feeling the on-set fatigue coming on. You glanced at the broken bottle and the puddle of energy drink into one corner of the room, then Aitana sitting in her cubby in the other. You haven’t been very kind to her the past few days, and you doubted that she’d want your comfort anyway because of that. Plus, you weren’t in the mood to talk to her right now; what she did was immature and out of line. What you didn’t know was that she had thrown that bottle across the room and blamed herself, wishing that she’d be able to cry into your arms. Instead, she had pressed her legs to her chest, and hugged herself as she cried alone in that dressing room.

Frido found out, of course; everyone has their breaking point eventually, even the strongest and most resilient. Frido told Ingrid, Ingrid told Mapi, Mapi got angry, and confronted you one day.

In her fury—and maybe in yours too—you didn’t make out everything she hurled at you, but you recognized an insulting word when you heard one. Instead of turning away like you had initially intended, you turned around and lunged at her.

“What did you say to me?! Say it again. I dare you!”

Frido had to drag you away, and it was her stern look alone that de-escalated the situation.

“She started it first!” You shoved her away as you took deep breaths through the worst of your anger.

“She was right to call you that, Y/N. You are a fucking asshole,” she said. You turned around, expecting her to apologize, but you saw no trace of remorse.

“What the fuck?”

“You’re an asshole. You don’t even notice your girlfriend is suffering.”

You groaned and rolled your eyes. “What did she tell you? That I’ve been busy trying to get these fucking pictures taken down? Because someone violated my privacy? Her privacy? Because I won’t pay attention to her for one goddamn second?”

The Swede scoffed and shook her head. “Listen to yourself. You’ve become despicable. I understand that you’re going through a hard time, but so is Aitana. People are talking about her too. You don’t think she’s also stressed out? She won’t ask you for help because she’s Aitana and she would never ask anyone for help. You knew that better than anyone, yet you’ve left her all alone, you asshole!”

Frido was yelling at you, scolding you like a child. Your anger bubbled, but it soon turned into guilt when her words sunk in.

“You should be ashamed of yourself, Y/N. Aitana deserves the respect that everyone has given her, except you.”

She pushed past you roughly, and you felt the weight of her scolding. Your phone buzzed in your pocket, and it was an incoming text from your lawyer.

“We have grounds to press charges, and we’ll most likely win if you choose to do so. Let me know what you and Aitana decide on.”

“Fuck”, you locked your phone with an impending need to throw it into the window pane in front of you.

This was what you wanted ever since you saw that picture on Twitter, but now you weren’t sure if it was the right course of action anymore. Your insistence on press charges has made you become a rotten human being, and looking back at the last few days, you didn’t recognize this person you have become. Picking fights with your teammates, being a sore loser in training games, abandoning Aitana. You had no idea what she was thinking the past few days, and it scared you. She used to tell you everything.

Your knees gave out below you, and you felt the exhaustion from the last week come crashing down. You took a seat on a nearby bench and cradled your head in your hands. There was the sound of studs clicking evenly against the ground beside you before the bench strained under the weight of another body.

Looking up you saw Mapi leaning against the bench looking at you with a soft expression.

You were too tired to fight, but you didn’t think Mapi was here to continue where you both left off before, which was why it surprised you that she was here.

“Sorry for calling you a cabró,” she said casually, looking away.

“You’re not wrong,” you muttered. “I am a cabró, the biggest cabró there ever was.”

You felt her strong hand on your shoulder. “Todos cometen errores, amiga. Se trata de si intentas enmendarlo o no. Entonces, ¿lo harás?” (”Everyone makes mistakes, bud. It’s about whether you try to make up for it or not. So, will you?”)

You pursed your lips, finding comfort in Mapi’s generosity. “Where’s Aitana?”

"Viene a casa para pasar la noche con nosotros. Te sugiero que le des espacio y uses este tiempo para reflexionar sobre tus acciones también.” (“She's coming home to stay overnight with us. I suggest you give her some space and use this time to reflect on your actions too.”)

You nodded as Mapi gave you one last pat on the shoulder before taking her leave. You were glad to have friends such as Mapi, Ingrid, and Frido. In your egotism, at least Aitana still had your friends.

Upon returning to an empty home, you felt creeping in a sense of loneliness that you haven’t felt in a long, long time. The last time you felt like this, Barcelona had just won its first ever Champions League in the women’s club history, and you had gone home by yourself after a night out celebrating. Playing in a foreign country, you didn’t feel so isolated until you witness your teammates celebrating wins with their family, friends, and significant others. Your loneliness was short-lived though, as it was Aitana that came knocking on your door, wanting to stay with you. It was the night of your first kiss, and the night from which you hadn’t felt lonely ever since.

There hasn’t been a text or call from Aitana at all, and you knew you had fucked up big time.

“Can’t begin to say how sorry I am for the way I’ve been treating you,” you texted her. “Whenever you’re ready, I’ll pick you up from Mapi’s and there will be love waiting for you at home.”

You spent the rest of the night watching TV, keeping your phone by your side at all times in case your girlfriend wanted to reach you, but the screen stayed black the entire time.

At Mapi and Ingrid’s, Aitana was laughing at something Mapi had said. The three women were slightly buzzed from the wine they had drunken earlier at dinner, and Aitana had felt lighter than she has the entire week. She saw your text as soon as it was sent to her phone, but opted not to response for her own peace of mind. Despite her heart still aching when she thought about the way you acted, she couldn’t help the little smile that made its way onto her lips reading it.

She will always be able to find it in her somewhere to love you, and she could only hope that you could do the same for her because she would rather go through thunderstorms with you than lie in a field of roses with someone new.

You jolted as you thought you might have forgotten the house keys when you walked up to Mapi and Ingrid’s. Patting your back pocket, you were quickly reassured that you had them with you, as you made a mental note of where everything was.

Ingrid opened the door for you with a smile, and invited you inside.

“Pretty flowers,” she said, gesturing at the large bouquet you had in your hands.

You smiled proudly and muttered a ‘thank you’. You eyes quickly found your girlfriend conversing with Mapi by the kitchen island, and your heart began beating wildly.

Her eyes landed on you, as you had half-expected a disapproving frown and her ignoring you to carry on her conversation. Instead, she offered you a smile and walked towards you.

“Hi,” you said. Attempting to say any more than that and you risked looking like a blabbering buffoon from the mess of a mind you had.

“Hi,” she mirrored your tone in a teasing manner. “Is that for me?”

“Oh, yeah. Here you go,” you handed her the bouquet and said goodbye to Mapi and Ingrid.

“Thank you,” you whispered to the both of them after Aitana had gotten into the car. The ride home was quiet, but not uncomfortably so. You would look over once in a while, seeing her watch the scenery flash by through the window. At a red light, you gathered the courage to reach out and grab her hand. This elicited a giggle from the girl, as you brought her hand up to kiss the back of it just as the light turned green.

Aitana stopped by the door the moment she saw your apartment. It was spotless, everything was clean and tidy, and lit by the few lamps you had chosen to leave on, casting a warm glow over the entire place. The dinner table had been set like it belonged in a high-end restaurant, with a white tablecloth set perfectly across the middle and a few candles to highlight.

“I got antsy at home, so I decided to clean up a bit. Hopefully, it doesn’t look too sterile,” you laughed and scratched the back of your neck.

“No, it’s . . . it’s perfect.”

You smiled bashfully and offered to take the flowers for her. There was hesitancy in the way you stepped away from her to prepare the bouquet to put them in a vase like the distance might dilute this warm air between you. You didn’t want to be away from her for too long; you had suffered the past couple of days without her.

When you returned, Aitana was on the couch on her phone. From the way she instantly looked up from it as she heard you coming in, you reckoned she was nervous too. You placed the vase on the dinner table and took a seat next to her.

“I’m sorry,” you said.

“I know,” Aitana said, and stroked your head.

Taking a deep breath, you put your head on her lap, and tried to steady your breathing.

“I’m sorry for taking my anger out on you. You didn’t deserve it. I’m sorry for leaving you alone.” You spewed, trying your very best to form coherent words out of the thoughts that have been racing in your head for days. “I’m sorry I made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me. You’ve always been so good to me, and I hate myself for not doing the same for you when it mattered.”

Aitana was quiet, but from the way her breath trembled as she drew it, you could tell she was trying not to cry, and it made you tear up too.

You sat up and held her gaze. “I won’t let something that was out of my hands destroy us. I may not be able to control it when someone posts a picture of us, but I can control how I react to it.”

“What did Paolo say?” Aitana questioned.

“That we’ll win if we press charges, but I’m tired of letting this consume me. So I’ll let you decide whether we do or not.”

Aitana pursed her lips. “I don’t think it’s worth it. I’m sorry we weren’t able to tell the world about us ourselves, but I’m glad it’s out there now.”

You nodded and smiled at her, “I’m so sorry.”

Shaking her head, she pulled you into her chest. “I forgive you,” she planted a kiss on your forehead. “You’re my love. I love you so much. I didn’t want to burden you.”

You nodded, unable to hold back the tears this time. “Don’t be scared to talk to me next time. I’ll always be here to listen from now on.”

Aitana wiped her tears away, and nodded, bringing you in for a soft kiss. She whispered repeatedly how much she loved you, and you could only silently thank the universe for giving you the love of such a good woman.

You spent the rest of the evening in her arms as you discussed how things could be better in your relationship, and when dinner time rolled around, the two of you went into the kitchen to prepare food together.

At the end of the night, you posted a picture of Aitana on your Instagram story. ‘My love mine all mine’, you had captioned it, before putting your phone on silent. The mayhem was looming, but you may just have enough to power through the sudden limelight that was waiting to point toward you, and those hazel eyes made it all worth it.

[repulsiveliquidation]

Hope, Coffee, and Poetry.

cw : smut, angst, mentions of cheating. 18+ DNI.

a/n I hope this lives up to your expectations. I cried when I wrote the last line, I have no idea why. Enjoy. realized I forgot to include the Frida Kahlo quote I used!

“You deserve a lover who takes away the lies and brings you hope, coffee, and poetry.”

Hope.

“Bebita, please!”

“Don’t want to hear it, Alexia,” you tell her, storming out of the restaurant with her trailing behind.

“Baby, wait!”

You turn around quickly, anger seething behind your eyes. She cowers a little, taking a step back from you just as you both stepped out of the restaurant.

“Don’t you dare try to justify what you’ve been doing behind my back, Alexia. I’ve been so stupid to think that you wouldn’t break my heart like that when you promised me you wouldn’t ever do that. You know the pain and turmoil my father did to my mother and you SWORE to me you would never cheat on me and you fucking did!”

“Amor, I’m sorry. I tried to tell you but-”

“But what, Alexia? ‘Oh sorry I couldn’t join you for dinner babe, I’ve got my mistress to fuck at 8 pm tonight, and I can’t reschedule?!’”

You step up to her, most of the girls now joining you two outside. María, Ingrid, Lucy, and Frido look extremely upset with Alexia while Ona, Jana, Pina, and Aitana are by your side rubbing your back and arms.

“You ruined us, Alexia. Don’t ever forget that.”

You wipe your tears off your face, give the girls a curt nod, and walk off towards your car. Opening the door, you hear María yelling her head off at Alexia, fluently cursing at her in Spanish. Alexia has her head hung low when you drive past, sobbing into her hands.

“How could you do something like that to her, Alexia? She was the best thing that ever happened to you and you throw her away for some gold digger you picked up at a bar?!” María lays into her after Alexia desperately tries to explain herself.

“She is not a gold digger!” Alexia yells suddenly, looking straight at María with red eyes and an angry look.

“Did you just defend her? The whore you’ve been sleeping with behind your fucking wife's back?”

Alexia looks at her best friend in shock. The words just came out of her mouth, she wasn’t thinking.

“I didn’t mean-”

“Your wife has been there for you when you were THIS close to giving up football. When your ACL tore, she almost gave her career up to be there for you full-time. When your father died, she was the first one you called; she was as heartbroken as you were, he was the best father figure she had. The two of you were thick as thieves, inseparable since you were children. You knew the kind of shit her father put her and her mother through with him sleeping around and you go and do the one thing she hoped the person she loved wouldn’t do to her!”

Alexia was sobbing hard, shoulders shaking hard with her cries. No one comforted her, somehow that hurt her more than the truths María was yelling at her.

“I am so fucking disappointed in you, I can’t even LOOK at you right now!” María yelled one last time, shoving Ingrid’s hand off her shoulder and walking back into the restaurant.

Ingrid nods at the other girls to go back inside and finish their lunch, wanting a minute with the captain. She pulls Alexia into a tight hug, letting her cry into her neck. She’s shaking, mumbling a million apologies to no one. Ingrid shushes her, cradling her face in her hands.

“What you did was unacceptable. María said some hurtful things but she was not wrong. You’ve made the bed, now you have to lie in it. The girls are going to need some time to forgive you but I think you need to make amends with your wife first.”

Alexia nods her head, thanking Ingrid before rushing off to her car. Her hands shake as she starts the car, thoughts running through her head a million miles an hour. She wonders how she could have been so stupid, so desperate for love that she went out to find it when it was right in front of her the whole time.

You were perfect, the woman of her dreams. When her father died, you ran over to her house barefoot when she called to tell you. You ran into her house and pulled her into your arms, cradling her sobbing form as you tried to be strong for her. He was the father you never had, your own cheated on your mother so often she resented men for a long time and you swore you would never be with someone who was the same way.

When you met Alexia at 4 years old, there was an instant connection. The two of you were attached at the hip, one never seen without the other. Barcelona promoted both of you to the first team at the same time. Having just started dating and having the opportunity to go to work every day with your best friend was a dream come true.

Day by day, the two of you made things work. You two functioned like a well-oiled machine, a connection that ran so deep, that you were sure in other lifetimes you were lovers. The night of her 24th birthday, you surprised her with two tickets to the men’s team game that weekend and a little black velvet box. She immediately knew what it was and you argued, with her groaning about being the one who needed to propose cause she ‘wore the pants in the house’. You glared at her, to which she apologized, said yes, put on the ring, and made love to you all night.

The next morning, after yet another passionate round of steamy morning sex, she pulled out a matching velvet box.

“Here, bebita,” she whispered, handing you the box as you settled into her side. You gasped and opened it carefully, a beautiful diamond ring shimmered in your palm.

“My turn,” she grinned, “Will you make me the happiest woman in the world and marry me?”

“Yes, yes, yes!”

Coffee.

“Bebita!”

Alexia walks into the house in search of you, hoping you’ve come home and she could catch you before you inevitably leave.

What she doesn’t expect is for you to have company over.

“Aitana?” 

You pull away from Aitana’s arms, looking back towards the door to see Alexia standing there. She’s breathing hard, tears streaks on her cheeks.

You stand, a confused Aitana remains seated on the dark couch both you and Alexia picked out when you first moved in.

“Uh, I’ll just leave-”

“No, stay.”

You walk up to Alexia, arms crossed across your chest. Her shoulders sag and her head hangs low once again.

“Can we talk…please?” she looks up at you, eyes filling with tears. Your heart begs to comfort her but you know better not to. You know you’d give in to her, her tears have always been your greatest weakness.

“I messed up, amor. I know that now, but please, we can fix this. I’ve broken it off with her, we can go for couples counseling, I’ll work harder to communicate, I’ll do anything!”

“Alexia, I love you. I think I always will. But I don’t deserve to be someone’s second choice. I deserve someone who can come to me and tell me they’re not happy. Instead, you found someone else to do that for you. You found someone else to do my job for me. I’m sorry Alexia, but we’re done.”

You step closer to her, kissing the corner of her lips. She’s shaking her head, lips begging for you to stop.

“Sign those papers I gave you, I’d like them as soon as you can please.”   

“No, please! Give me a chance, bebé please!”

“I already did, Alexia. I will not do it again.”

You walk into the bedroom and grab the duffel bag you had packed, storming out to where Aitana stood dumbfounded in the living room before taking her hand and leaving the house.

Alexia feels her heart break into pieces. You did already give her a chance at redemption, how could she forget? She thinks back to that day when you were both 21, away at both your international camps.

“Bebé, hi! I’ve missed you!”

Alexia scrambled to answer her phone, pulling the covers over her naked body. She glances over at the clock and notes that it’s time for your regular phone call. You notice her disheveled hair and wonder what she’s been up to, your head cocked to the side with a curious look on your face. You shake your head and focus back on her, feeling your heart ache to be with her.

“I-I’ve missed you too, Amor! What-what are you doing?”

“I’m done with training for the day, silly. Are you already in bed, was Spanish training that hard?” you tease, grinning at her.

“Sí, it went on for hours today!” she says with a nervous laugh when suddenly there was a ruffle in the sheets. Alexia looks at the moving duvet in the corner of her eye, and you see a foot sticking out of the edge of the screen that’s not Alexia’s. She looks back at you and notices, immediately covering it up.

“Are you kidding me?” you say, voice raised in anger.

“Amor, let me explain!”

“There’s nothing to explain Alexia, we’re done! How could you?!”

“Bebita please, this was a mistake!”

It took a year of counseling for the two of you to mend the trust that was broken. Fast forward 2 years and you were walking down the aisle to marry her on the happiest day of your lives. She had kept her promise and the two of you couldn’t have been closer.

Until she broke that promise again.

Poetry.

Aitana was beautiful. She loved you in a way so different from Alexia. In the days after the divorce and the court hearings, Aitana was by your side the entire time. She was gentle and she was kind. She knew you were guarding your heart with an impenetrable fortress, but she tried every day, little by little to gain access to the sweet, caring, loving, unapologetic girl she had quietly been pining over since her days at the academy.

Aitana was the textbook definition of sunshine. She always had a big smile on her face, never letting anything get her down. She was like a pocket rocket, able to pull laughs out of you no one else ever did. She made you feel safe, secure, and loved.

Court proceedings were taking a while and in that time, you two managed to build a new life together. You had known each other a long time and turning that friendship into the most excitingly new love was easier than you thought it would be. You moved in with her, drove to training together, cooked together, and made love every way you could. She was easy to love, but a passionate lover that would move mountains for you. A part of you still loved Alexia, you knew you always would but you felt your heart grow to make space for the new best thing in your life.

“Please Aitana, fuck…”

“You like my mouth on you, princesa?”

“Yes, so fucking much…please!”

Aitana pushes your legs back, lips attached to your core as she eats you out hungrily. She groans into your pussy, eyes boring deep into yours that are filled with tears. Your hands pull on her hair, your head thumping back onto the couch you’re fucking on.

She sits up between your legs, two of her fingers pushed deep into your pussy. She kisses up your calf, free hand caressing your ass.

“Getting close, bebita?” she asks in the most innocent voice, a little smirk across her face.

You look up at her, hands holding your legs back like the good girl you’re being for her. She grins, leaning over to crash her lips to yours. You kiss back ferociously, her fingers pushing in a third that makes your eyes go back into your head.

“Aitana!” you cry out, the tips of her fingers roughly pressed up against your sweet spot. She kissed down the expanse of your neck, lips latched onto your breast when she suddenly bit down and your orgasm hit you like a freight train. You shuddered and squirmed, body convulsing hard as her fingers and palm worked you through an orgasm so hard you saw white and passed out for a second.

“You are not what you seem, baby,” you tell her panting, kissing her slowly as she cradles you in the bath after fucking you into the couch twice more.

“For you, mi amor, I’ll be anything you want.”

Alexia stood outside the courthouse with a soft smile on her face. You walked out behind her, the final hearing of your divorce was now over. You both parted on good terms, leaving nothing but good memories behind. Aitana remained by your side and you spoke to Alexia, knowing that there was nothing but love for each other that would never change.

“She makes you happy. I’m so glad she can give you what I couldn’t,” Alexia started, her expression a little sad and longing.

You lean in and kiss the corner of her lips again, lingering just a few seconds longer than you should.

“I will always love you, Ale. Never, ever forget that.”

“I won’t bebita, you’re very special to me.”

“I’ll see you on Monday at training?”

“Sí,” she waves you two off, smiling wide before saying one last thing but it’s not directed at you.

“Tana?” she calls, Aitana turns around and looks at her captain.

“Sí, capi?”

"Cuida de ella por mí, ¿quieres? Es una buena".

[jadeysjasmine]

The Dare - Aitana Bonmati x Reader

A/N: this is a repost. 1573 words

Tags: angst

Summary: You find out that your relationship started due to a dare.

You and aitana had been dating for a few weeks, it had been going amazing and you found yourself falling in love with the Spaniard.

You were caught off guard when she asked you on a date, fairly new to Barcelona and Spain in general you were fairly new to the Spanish culture and how affectionate they are so you played off all previous interaction with aitana, and all of your other Spanish teammates, as them just being friendly.

To say you were ecstatic was an understatement, you had a major crush on the Catalonian since before you joined Barcelona, she was not the only reason but a big reason as to why you made the switch from London to Barcelona.

That night you and aitana went to a lovely secluded restaurant on the outskirts of Barcelona, spending the night laughing and getting to know one another on a deeper level.

For the following few weeks it was amazing, you and aitana explored all over the city of Barcelona, trying different restaurants, going bowling and even the arcade.

She asked you to be her girlfriend during one of your weekly movie nights, she had barely finished the question before you, rather loudly, accepted and pulled her into a hug.

You two were getting closer by the day, sharing childhood stories, fears and your biggest dreams.

There was only one issue, the aitana when you were alone compared to the one around other people was completely different, like black and white.

Around you she was clingy, sweet, talkative and could not get enough of you.

However around your teammates she was the polar opposite, she hated touching you, would always be on the other side of the pitch, never partner with you for drills and anytime you two interacted it was short replies.

You chalked it up to her not being a big fan of PDA and you overthinking due to being mistreated in previous relationships, not like the team, or anyone for that matter, knew about your relationship.

It had been bugging you because it was not like you wanted you two to have sex in front of the team, you just wanted to be able to speak to your girlfriend.

You were currently in the locker room, packing your stuff to head home having just beaten Rosengard 7-0.

Saying bye to your teammates you start heading out to your car, putting your bags in the trunk before reaching for your phone to reply to a text when you couldn't feel it.

Realising you must have left it in the medic room when you were getting a minor cut from a tackle checked, heading back inside and grabbing your phone.

As you are about to walk past the locker room to leave you hear what sounds like ona loudly say "You need to tell her aitana, the joke has gone too far. Think about her feelings and how she will feel when she finds out."

This caught your attention, moving closer to the door but out of the way so if it was opened you were not caught for snooping.

It was your girlfriend who spoke next "I know but I am starting to really like her and I do not want this to ruin our relationship." her voice quiet, like she was trying not to be heard by anyone other than ona.

You were unsure what they were implying but you felt sick at the though of aitana being untruthful with you about your relationship, you hear ona scoff before wishing you never heard the next words out of her mouth.

"You either tell her that you only dated her due to a dare or I will." you hear shuffling before ona speaks up again, voice louder meaning she had moved closer to the door "If you truly like her like you claim to do then you will be honest with her.

You felt sick, completely blindsided by this new discovery.

Rushing out of the stadium and into your car, speeding home so you can breakdown in the comfort of your own home.

You're barely in your apartment when you fall to your knees, body shaking as you sob into your hands.

You had eventually stopped crying, looking at your phone you realise you had been there for 30 minutes. You noticed a text from aitana confirming she would be at your house for your movie night.

Panicking you texted back cancelling plans, making up an illness. You knew you had to confront her at some point but all you wanted to do tonight was curl up in bed and watch netflix or play games.

You're halfway through an episode of your favourite show when you hear a knock on your door, you weren't expecting anyone so you were confused as to who was at your door. Ignoring the knocking you opted to turn down the tv and hope the person thought no one was home and leave.

As luck would have it, the person did not leave and 2 louder knocks followed. Sighing you paused your show and made your way to the door, you looked through the peep hole you saw the person you were avidly avoiding, aitana.

She was holding a carrier bag, you quickly fixed your appearance, hoping she didn't figure out you had been crying.

Opening the door slightly, hoping to be able to convince her to go home, you spoke "Hey aitana, what are you doing here? did you get my text?"

She looked up, worry etched on her face and laced in her voice "Yes I got your text, are you ok amor? have you been crying?"

You wanted to roll your eyes, she's acting like she cares about you but you're unsure about anything anymore, especially anything concerning aitana.

Instead you put on your best fake smile, assure her you're fine and that you're just feeling under the weather and that she should go home so she doesn't catch anything.

She looks unconvinced but doesn't question you, telling you to rest, stay hydrated and she handed you the bag she brought which contained medication, snacks and her grandmothers homemade chicken soup recipe.

If you didn't know what you knew and her presence didn't make you feel nothing but anger then the sweet gesture would have probably made you cry but instead you thanked her, telling her to drive safe and said your goodbyes, trying to make her leave as soon as possible because you don't know how long you could keep up this facade.

-

The next day at training not only aitana, but the whole team knew something was up, you were training fine but you barely spoke to anyone and if you did you were giving one word answers, you weren't carrying on with the younger player and you weren't as bubbly as you usually are, the team just put it down to you still feeling a bit under the weather and alexia even offered to take you home but you just said you were fine and kept training.

You didn't mean to be blunt with everyone but you did not know who was included in the bet and you couldn't trust anyone.

Aitana surprisingly tried to approach you and start up a conversation, you found the whole situation ironic considering she would avoid you previously.

When training finished you skipped showering, instead choosing to do it at home and were packing your belongings away, still in a bad mood, when aitana cautiously approached you.

"Hola, do you maybe wanna go out tonight or if you are still feeling sick we can just have a movie night?" She asked nervously.

You scoffed, not meaning to get as angry as you did but it all stemmed from how hurt you were, bluntly but viciously replying "Why? Did someone dare you again?"

Her face fell, colour draining from her face as she starts stuttering an apology and questioning how you knew but the look on your face made her stop talking and awkwardly look down at her handing, fidgeting with the rings on her fingers.

The whole locker rooms eyes are on your, some shocked, some guilty, some confused.

The silence was almost deafening, no one dares to say a word, not with the angry look on your face. It was Mapi who eventually broke the silence "What does she mean carino? What bet?"

You turned away from aitana to look over at mapi, now noticing the eyes on you and feeling embarrassed by your outburst, your shoulders deflate as you mutter an apology for causing a scene.

You hadn't answer mapi's question and she opened her mouth as to re-ask what you meant when Ona spoke up "She means that there was a dare to make her fall for aitana."

Collective gasps before everyone turned from ona to look back and you and aitana, your face heating up with embarrassment as a new wave of humiliation hit you and you grabbed your stuff before making a quick exit.

As soon as you left you heard the locker room erupt into noise, the ones that had to idea about the dare were furious, berating the midfielder.

You made it to your car when your phone pinged, it was a text from your agent.

Chelsea are looking for a striker and want to bring you back home, Barcelona have accepted the bid as it is an unrefusable offer but ultimately it's up to you.

Your head is spinning, what will you do? Staying in Barcelona means seeing the girl who broke your heart but leaving will mean leaving aitana and as much as you hate her right now, you still loved her.

[bellawoso]

Delicate

Aitana Bonmati x fem!reader

kinda short, and a one time take on angst as i conclude i should stick to writing fluff 🤍🥲

With everything that had recently happened in Aitana’s life; the ballon d’or, champions league and the World Cup, you couldn’t blame her teammates and captain for wanting to try reduce the stress in her life.

Stress being relationships. Most players knew that if you were as popular as Aitana, balancing a relationship on top of all of the media and press you have to do, is not the best idea.

Even though Aitana is now 26, many of her teammates still view her as one of the children on the team, possibly due to her sweet and loving nature, but also her lack of relationships had left the midfielder a bit naive, many of her older teammates wanted to protect her in a way.

So when they heard about you, after Aitana let it slip she had a girlfriend, her teammates were quick to interrogate her about you.

They learnt that you were a paramedic, who had moved from London, but that at team bonding nights you had never crossed paths with her teammates as you had coincidentally had a sudden call, her teammates learnt these sudden calls happened quite a lot.

And although Aitana spoke about you with love and devotion, her teammates failed to notice this as they were blinded with the information suggesting you were added stress for Aitana, constantly leaving, and then coming back late during the night, sometimes you didn’t return at all and went back to your own apartment.

They didn’t realise that Aitana didn’t mind this, as the Spaniard herself was also usually not home once or twice a week for away matches.

———————————————————————

At the next team bonding night, Aitana asked everyone if she could bring you, the Spaniard mainly asked to be polite, but in her mind she couldn’t imagine any of her teammates saying no, she thought they would be excited to meet you as she often spoke now about how serious the two of yours relationship was.

However, the brunette was immediately met with awkward glances and half hearted, silly excuses of why it would be better for you to not come.

The ballon d’or winner was hurt, she noticed her teammate’s unjust dislike for you, which left her conflicted, this combined with her previous fatigued and stressed state, made her patience run thin.

Therefore when she returned home, and you excitedly asked her how her day was, she was quick to snap “fine” at you.

You immediately knew something was wrong with your usually very affectionate girlfriend, who had a habit of smothering you in kisses the moment she stepped through the door.

“Tana? Is everything okay, what happened?” You questioned her, whilst resting a hand on her arm, rubbing small comforting circles on her forearm with your thumb.

When Aitana suddenly shrugged your hand off and pushed past you whilst muttering “Just leave me alone, do not bother me anymore.” you knew that it was really upsetting her if she didn’t even want to talk to you about it.

You and the midfielder hadn’t had an argument yet, so this hurt you as you knew you hadn’t done anything to deserve Aitana’s cold demeanour, which should be used on whoever upset her.

———————————————————————

You didn’t see Aitana after that, she left the house without a goodbye when you got in the shower.

Until at around 5pm, you suddenly get a call to head to the bridge over the river where a car accident had taken place. Most of the paramedics in your area had been sent to a warehouse fire where many workers were injured, leaving not many to attend other scenes, hence why you and your partner, Carlos had been called in.

You were ready and at the station by 5:30, and quickly got in the drivers seat, with Carlos in the passenger seat, as you made your way there you ranted to him about Aitana’s rudeness, and he was quick to back you up, but also try ease your worries witch an explanation of the Spaniard just being stressed.

When you got to the car crash on the bridge, and saw the upside down car about to fall off the bridge, you quickly ran over and cut the man’s seatbelt, allowing Carlos to tug him out.

However as the car began to slip, you were unluckily unable to climb out of the car in time, leaving you in the car as it plummeted into the river.

You must have hit your head, knocking you unconscious, as soon your awake gasping for air at the side of the river, Carlos had been quick to jump in after you and pull you out of the water.

Blood tricked down the side of your head, as you reached up to touch it, a sharp pain came from the cut making you wince and look down at your hand to see blood coating your fingers.

Your breathing still hasn’t returned to normal, and it turned out Carlos had called another paramedic to take care of the man, as he supported you back to the ambulance on the road.

“You terrified me there Y/N, you were under there for 4 minutes, I thought I lost you” Carlos said, as he strapped you onto the bed in the back of the ambulance.

“I’m sorry” you could only whisper, your voice hoarse from your frantic breathing earlier.

“Don’t be sorry, it was no one’s fault, can I call her?”

Her being Aitana, and truthfully you didn’t want to go to hospital, you just wanted to go home and crawl into your girlfriends arms, but you couldn’t as yet again she had gone to another team bonding night that she promised you could go to, but instead never brought up again.

You were annoyed with her, you wanted to get to know her teammates, they were like a second family to her, and you wanted to be apart off your girlfriends personal life, not kept separate all of the time.

When you arrived at the hospital, they were quick to stitch up the cut above your eyebrow, and hooked you up to many machines measuring your heart rate and oxygen levels.

You told Carlos not to ring Aitana, her previous words of “Do not bother me” were still fresh in the back of your mind.

At first Carlos listened, but seeing how anxious and distressed you looked on the hospital bed, made him question your words, and secretly called the Spaniard.

———————————————————————

When Aitana arrived at team bonding, she had gone to sit down and enjoy the movie in peace, except the quiet didn’t relax her, instead it gave her time to think and reflect on the harsh things she said to you.

She knew she needed to apologise straight away, so she quickly excused herself to call you, as you should be still awake.

On her 4th attempt at ringing you, with no luck as it went straight to voicemail again, she was worried, even when in the job, you always answered your phone.

When she returned back to the living room to sit down, the team noticed her nervous state, with her leg bouncing up and down, while she twisted the rings covering her fingers.

“Aita? What’s wrong?” Alexia asked softly.

“Y/N, she’s not answering any of my calls, I was awful to her before I left, I just want to apologise, but now I’m worried about her.”

“Aita, is she really the right one for you? She is probably ignoring you out of spite! So that you leave us and go to her instead.” Alexia added.

“What are you talking about? She would never do that, I know my girlfriend, you’ve never even met her” Aitana glared at her captain.

“I don’t think we want to, with everything we’ve heard, she seems too stressful, always leaving for her work” Patri argued.

With a scowl, Aitana’s protective side shone through, an urge to defend you from the rude words of her teammates, who were completely misjudging you.

“No, that is only once every few weeks, I leave her more often for away games than she leaves me, and she helps me with my stress! Honestly, I don’t see why you all hate her, I thought you would like her after seeing everything she does for me-”

Aitana’s rant was cut off my her phone ringing, her eyes lit up with relief thinking it would be you ringing her back.

The worry was soon to return after seeing the caller id: Carlos.

She knew something was wrong if your partner who she had only met a few times was calling her.

As soon as he told her what had happened, Aitana’s breathing was quick to become irregular, worrying her surrounding teammates.

When she hung up the phone, she immediately asked Ingrid, the only person who hadn’t judged you, to take her to the hospital. Ingrid and Mapi had picked up Aitana, who would have normally asked you to drop her off, except she didn’t want to see your happy face at the time, whilst harbouring the knowledge that none of her teammates were as eager to meet you as you were to meet them.

“Hey, Aitana can you tell me what’s happened first?” Ingrid softly asked her.

“It’s Y/N, she was called to a car crash, but the car fell in the river with her still inside, and she was under for 4 minutes, she’s at the hospital now” Aitana said whilst rushing to the door.

Knowing this, and seeing Aitana’s reaction, the team suddenly realised just how much Aitana cared for you, and were quick to internally scold themselves for hating someone who made Aitana so happy.

Ingrid led Aitana to her car, with Alexia and Mapi rushing in too, insisting they wanted to meet you as soon as possible, much to Aitana’s disapproval, knowing you would likely be tired and want to go home.

When they arrived at the hospital, Aitana ran to the front desk, letting the nurse lead them to your room, but as soon as the brunette laid eyes on you, bile rose to her mouth.

You had fallen asleep, not knowing Aitana was coming, you were so pale and vulnerable, at seeing all of the wires and needles hooking you to the many machines monitoring you, Aitana panicked.

Alexia noticed this and led the midfielder to the seat next to your bed, however this was a bad choice as it gave Aitana a clear view of the large cut across the side of your head, she reached over to softly trace the cut, but was awoken from her daze as your eyes fluttered open, and winced upon feeling her fingers softly running over the cut.

“Amor? How are you feeling? I’m sorry I wasn’t here earlier” Aitana whispered softly, whilst running her fingers through your hair.

“Please don’t apologise love, it was no one’s fault.” You echoed Carlos’ words from earlier.

“If your feeling better, would you please come to our next movie night, bebe?” Aitana asked, which brought a smile to your face, which made Aitana’s heart swell but also ache at the same time, by seeing you so excited for her doing the minimum by letting you meet her friends.

“I would like that Tana, thankyou”

“Please don’t thank me, it’s the least I can do for you amor, I’m just so happy your okay, I was so worried”

“Hey Tana it’s okay honestly, your stressed and I understand that, the media expects a lot from you amor”

At this Aitana kisses your forehead and asks “can I tell the world of us?”

You smiled and nodded your head, happy that your relationship was now no longer a secret from the world.

———————————————————————

aitanabonmati

liked by yourinstagram, janafernandez3, and 78,609 others

the last few months with you have been amazing mi amor, i have treasured every second ❤️

tagged @yourusername

- - -

@yourusername: not carlos photobombing us in the last photo 😭, love you baby ❤️

@alexiaputellas: guapaaa 🤍

@ingridengen: cutest couple!!

@user1: HARD LAUNCH?!

@user2: THEY ARE SO CUTE WTF

@user3: do they do double dates with Mapi and Ingrid? 🫠

[trulyhblue]

Baby England (Part Two)

Lionesses x Young! Reader, Leah Williamson x Reader (platonic) Keira Walsh x Reader (platonic), Lucy Bronze x Reader (platonic)

Warnings: fluffy angst, mentions of blood/injury, coarse language.

Masterlist

__________________________

The Euros were flying past, and before you knew it, you were tapping your studs anxiously against the tunnel floor as you awaited the start of the Quarter Finals.

Every other game up until now had been different. You were promised a secure spot on the bench, assured the security of a safety sub during the last third of the game. You didn't receive the special treatment when you played. If anything, you were pushed harder by your opponents’ attempts to spike you out. You were young, younger than most of the women you played with and against, but you were there for a reason.

Sometimes you needed to be reminded that.

You were versing the Spanish Team. Contrary to many of your teammates, this was your first time playing them. Of course, you were aware of the individuals that you were playing against. You would be lying if you said you didn't idolize them. The mere idea of standing next to Mapi Leon and Aitana Bonmati was a frightening feeling. It was a bugging sensation filling your stomach. You tried searching the floor for any hope to calm your nerves, but the absence of serenity did nothing in response.

You weren't quite sure why Sarina had decided to put you in the starting eleven, especially in such a critical, knockout stage like today. The Euros were your first major tournament. When you told Leah the news, she wouldn't let you go from a bear-crushing hug until you wrenched her arms off you. She was reeling with excitement at the prospect of you standing alongside her in front of thousands of people. She couldn't contain her elation on the way to Falmer Stadium, and you tried to find the same emotions within yourself but the notion was proven difficult.

Hempo and Alex were giggling in a huddle as the team warmed up together. Leah was running laps with Beth. Rach and Millie were dribbling a ball with Ellen and Fran, and you were left stretching by the drink bottles, deep within your own thoughts.

You could see the Spanish girls across the field, eloping the growing crowd that littered the stands, all while split into groups as they carried out their respective warm-ups. You felt your hamstring tug while you ran you hands down your leg, tugging at your muscles so that they wouldn't tweak in the game.

The more time went by, with physios packing up their kits and subs heading over to the sideline, the more of a nervous wreck you became. You could feel the slight shake in your hands, the flood of adrenaline in your veins. Heart thumping out of your chest, beating in your ears, and bile rising in your throat.

This was your first time starting for your country. You had the impression that this was the one chance you could show not only Sarina, but all the media and fans that doubted your ability to set the tone for the game that you were capable of doing so. You wanted to make the first tackles, and produce opportunities. As a midfielder, you strived to cross the ball into the box for your strikers. Your job was to free the field of potential threats and switch between attacking and defensive plays depending on the style of your opponent.

You wanted everyone to know that you deserved to be in the starting eleven. You worked night and day, all the time, to make your dream come true. This was your life, your career, your journey.

The weight of this fell on your shoulders all at once in the tunnel as the narrow hallway blacked out most of the crowd’s roar. Everyone was in their own bubble, preparing themselves for the difficult match to come. Even as you walked out, eyes plastered on the floor, refusing to meet the eager euphoria of the crowd or anyone around you, the gravity of your situation began to set in.

You felt Leah kiss your forehead when walking past. The blush that painted your cheeks when you shook Mapi’s hand went straight through you. Nothing snapped you out of your haze. The crowd’s thundering booms fell beneath you, a level of determination fueling your insides as the whistle blew.

You ran up and down your line for nearly fifteen minutes before you finally gained possession of the ball. You were loosely marked by Guijarro beforehand, but as soon as the ball hit your feet, your legs were cut out from beneath you, leaving you tumbling face-first into the grass.

You were too high on adrenaline to feel the effects of the fall, but you felt fleeting hands sought your body when seeking to regain balance on your feet. There was a slight pang in your legs, but you quickly shook it off when offered a free kick.

“Should be a card, Ref.” One of your teammates quipped, holding your shoulders and pushing you on your way. The referee must've shooed her off too, since no acclimation changed and play resumed.

Both sides held possession well. You felt your confidence slowly increase at the endless support of the crowd. The flow of play made for excellent progress on your side of the midfield. You had curved a cross from the halfway line over to Hempo, but Ona Batlle had swiped it easily.

Georgia and Keira were absolute beasts, using their infinite knowledge to bound your team closer and closer to the goal. Spain was also moving quicker into your half as the game progressed, and the first half was coming to an end, you finally gained the opportunity to find space to shoot.

You were next to Beth, sprinting along the wing after Leah booted the ball to your end. The crowd boomed around you, your lungs gasping for air, your feet carrying you closer to the goal. Cardona was on you now, trailing your figure in the fleeting moments that felt like a lifetime.

Lauren was motioning for a crossover to her end, where no defenders thought themselves spent near. Paredes and Battle were spotting Ellen and Fran while Beth, Georgia and Keira were all making a worthy endeavour to free themselves.

Your heart raced as the wind whipped against your face, your hair whispering behind you in a tight, yet flimsy ponytail. No defenders were near the blonde. Ona and Paredes were stacking up against Ellen, while Carmona was battling Fran. Lauren was sprinting down the straight, her trajectory heading right into the box. Panos was urging her defenders back, but the communication between the two lines wasnt quick enough for your movements.

You made the move of switching the ball from your right foot to left, engulfing the fervour of the crowd as you did so. Blocking out any hesitancy, you kicked the ball as hard as you could, struggling to both watch your cross and keep straight at the same time. To your surprise, your connection with the ball made a successful thump, curving over the defenders and toward the direction of the blonde, who was almost in the box.

You watched with hope, every bone in your body ceasing up at the chance of scoring.

But before the outcome occurred, you felt your knees fall out, your legs crashing to the ground with a potent smack, leaving you winded and heaving for air. Your face made contact with the grass, your nose just skimming the ground as you made the sharp decision to move your head. For the second time that night, you heard the whistle blows to call the game to halt.

This time, however, you felt the potent emphasis of the strain on your body a lot more.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Lucy’s thick accent came into range from above you, though you couldn't exactly see since your head was firm on the ground. Nothing hurtled incredibly badly, though you couldn't help but wince at the language falling from Lucy’s mouth.

While in a desperate attempt to pull yourself upwards, Keira came crouching beside you.

“Are you alright, Darling?” She asked, soothing a hand on your shoulders. Her eyes, both cautious and caring, bore into yours. You caught sight of Leah tugging Lucy away from the ref and Mapi, who was shown a yellow card.

You glanced up at the big display screens near the top of the stadium, watching in slight horror at the replay of Mapo taking you out from behind after the ball left your feet. It could've been a red card, arguably, but you were just glad you were still okay.

You told Keira so, thanking her when she pulled you up onto your feet. Lauren was watching from the other end, hauling thumps up your way, to which you promptly responded with a disappointed nod. You wished the ref had just left you on the ground because now you were going into the second half nil all.

You tried not to think about what could've been when sauntering back into the changing rooms. You were met with some encouragement. Leah was shouting all sorts of things to the team as they replenished and rejoiced for the next forty-five minutes. Rach and Millie were on either side of you, making an endeavour to be as loud and boisterous as they could in an attempt to rule everyone up. Lauren was by your side, taking prolonged sips from her water, patting you on the back throughout the break.

You watched all the girls intently while you changed your socks, tying your shoes with a double knot before following the rest of the girls out.

Before you jogged over to find your starting position, you felt someone spin you around gently.

“If that happens again,” Lucy spoke, Keira looking equally concerned by your side. “And you feel like it's too much, we want you to tell us.”

“I'm alright,” You reassured. You knew the pair believed you. This didn't soothe them, nonetheless. “I will, though. I promise.”

Before you could escape their prying eyes, Keira pulled you into a hug.

“You doing so well, Darling.” She muttered, patting your head. “Keep doing what you're doing.”

Both sides came out with a new taste of persistence. Everyone on the field was putting in ten times the effort from before. The anticipation from the crowd and determination in each of the girls’ mind combined to push the limits of the game to an all-new high.

Your hopes came crashing down when Spain’s striker, Gonzalez sent the ball through the back of the net. You threw your head back and groaned, moving your hands to cover your face. The celebration from the red rang out, their supporters in the stands properly dedicating their level of support. Your eyes met Leah, who was already marching back to her position. She gave you a civil nod. That was all. You knew she cared more for this than anything. This was the Euros.

That was enough motivation to keep going.

You tried to find more of a defensive end to your play going into the second half. Keira and Georgia were both creating chances down the line so you thought it best to keep the Spanish forwards on their toes by marking them instead of their defence.

Soon enough, Beth, Ellen, and Fran were all subbed off. You were surprised to find yourself still on the pitch. For some reason, your usual fatigue hadn't hit you yet, the endurance of beating your opponents still raw and fresh in your mind.

With Ella, Lessi and Chloe from now on, your assistance as a defensive midfielder was all the more prevalent. You made conscience tackles when needed. You pushed your opponents out of their zones, leaving them high and dry in different spots of the field. You were continuously feeding Chloe the ball from various passes, and even when some of them fell short, you made the effort to run back and do it again.

Spain must've noticed your team’s constant attacking push since strikers were being replaced for defenders, and roles were beginning to switch amidst the field.

Alex passed you the ball from between Garcia’s legs near the halfway line. You made no reluctance in sprinting down your line, taking no time in peeling the ball to your right in Chloe’s direction. The forward bolted into the centre, finding Lessi behind her. In a swift movement, Alessia found the ball at her feet, connecting a brilliant pass to Tooney.

Everyone on your backline held their breaths, awaiting the pause from Ella as she shot from where she received the ball. It went flying, flying forever, in what felt like a lifetime, before you heard the crowds rising to their feet in Revelation.

You held your arms up high, running towards the closest person, which happened to be Leah, and gripping her tight. She swung you round off the ground, yelling into your ear as the rest of your team celebrated around you.

You were one-all, you thought.

This was it.

When it went to extra time, you were almost certain you were due to be subbed off.

You had never played more than a half before. Going into over ninety minutes on the field, about to play another half hour, was daunting. You were starting to feel the dread of exhaustion pump into you when the extra time started. If you were to stay on until the end, and it was still one-all, it would go to penalties. You had only just made your Senior Debut, anyone would be stupid to think that you would ever oblige willingly to take one.

You stuck by your defensive line for the most part, only ever really leaving your back end of the midfield if you felt there was an opportunity to be given by the other end. You and Alex were pretty much feeding each other the ball if there was nothing else to give. The Spanish girls were growing impatient with it, and their relentless pushing and shoving indicated to the two of you that they were on the last thread.

You finally gave the ball to Millie, who gave it to Leah and returned back to you. For what felt like the hundredth time that game, you ran up your line, lugging the ball cautiously through the midfield. You sent a short pass to Ella, receiving the ball only a moment later. You shot past two of your opponents, glancing up to find none of your forwards free. You waited, fighting for possession for a while, before both Keira and Gee broke free from their markers. You chased them down, booting the ball to Keira.

Keira controlled the ball through the legs of Spain’s centre-back, hauling it along their backline before Gee found a space through the main slipstream. You held your breath, filling the air hitch around you in apprehension. Gee caught the ball, holding it for her side. The world seemed to stop, pause in time. You didn't remember seeing Georgia have a go at shooting, but the screams of the stadium were enough to send you tumbling towards her in a heap of sweat and tears.

You were the first to meet Georgia, jumping onto her back as the rest of your team fought themselves around her. Nothing else mattered to you at that moment, the feeling of absolute euphoria overriding any sort of anxiety you felt beforehand. All the girls were screaming, you were fighting tears. Everything was going your way, and you’d do anything to maintain it.

And that you did.

The rest of the game was defensive for you. You didn't even bother trying to connect any balls with the goal. You were too focused on any coming into your half. Lauren and Keira were subbed off, leaving no more subs available for the game. You played your heart out for the remaining time, counting down the clock for the final whistle.

When it blew, you fell to your knees.

You weren't sure if it was from the utter exhaustion of playing a hundred-and-twenty-minute game or merely because you were going through the realisation of winning. It was a surreal feeling, one you wouldn't shake for days. You stayed on the floor with your hands covering your face, hoping no one would catch the salty tears streaming down your red, tired face.

The Spaniards were all congratulating you by the end. You were quick to shake the apology Mapi Leon sent your way, blushing furiously at any sort of recognition from the defender. You ran into Leah’s arms, letting her ragdoll you around by swayying you back and forth.

“I'm so proud of you, my girl.” She muttered, kissing your forehead.

“Love you, Lee.” You simply replied, gripping her jersey tighter in your hands, relishing the moment with your eyes closed.

You were going to the Semi Finals.

__________________________

lionesses, yourusername (pretend its you)

*liked by keirawalsh, alexgreenwood and 43,256 others.

Lionesses — first full game starting AND player of the match. SAY THANK YOU BABY ENGLAND ❤️

Comments:

leahwilliamson — well deserved, beautiful girl 💗

^ yourusername — love you Lee ❤️

^ user1 — THEY ARE SO CUTE AWWWW

user2 — THANK YOU BABY ENGLAND YOU LITERALLY CARRIED US OMG

^ user3 — nah cause fr she deserved to play every minute of that game.

keirawalsh — our stargirl 💫

* liked by yourusername

georgiastanway — yeah the baby

^ yourusername — you can't call me a baby you're literally a few years older than me

^ Georgiastanway — YEAH THE BABY

arsenalacademy — congrats, baby england ❤️

^ user4 — you better start bidding for ur gurl or else she ain't gonna be yours

^ user5 — fr they think she won't leave but if a club wants to pay she’ll go where the money’s @

^ user6 — she wouldn't leave Leah. Period.

^ user7 — I doubt Leah would care where she goes, as long as shes happy.

ellatoone — lets goooooooooo

arsenalwfc — North London raised ‼️

______________________

soccerdrama

soccerdrama — after an absolute masterclass performance from Y/N L/N for the Lionesses against Spain this week, talks from multiple clubs have spurred.

These include;

- Arsenal

- Aston Villa

- North Carolina University

- Bayern Munich

- Manchester City

Where do you think she'll go?

Comments:

user1 — PLEASE SHE NEEDS TO STAY WITH LEAH ARSENAL ARSENAL ARSENAL

^ user2 — she suits nl so much

user4 — her and hemp are gold together. Would love to see them play for city together.

^ user5 — they've also git LUCY, keira, and Alex. City will be unstoppable with Y/N in it.

User8 — I still think she’ll go to UNC

_____________________________

[magics-neptunes-things]

Hate and love

Hello!

This one is from a request, you still can ask me to write something if you want to :)

I have to say that I'm not really sure about this one, but here it is.

Enjoy ♥

TW : Angst, harassment, divorce, loneliness.

______________________________________________________________

Your arrival in Barcelona at the winter transfer almost a year ago has gone rather well. You quickly bonded with most of the players and you didn’t have any trouble becoming a part of the FC Barcelona family. You maybe wasn't in the Top 3 of the public favorite players, but you don't really mind. You were a bit sad about the departure of some of them this summer, especially Jenni and Ana who were kind of mentors for you during these few months. And even if you continue to exchange news with them, you must admit that it is not the same.

Playing previously in Seville, you already knew quite well some of the players of the team, usually staying on the pitch after the matches to chat a little. You were separated during the World Cup, your national team not being strong enough to pass the qualifications you were in the first to return to training in Barcelona. This did not prevent you from making the trip to Australia to support your friends and obviously the Spanish national team.

You celebrated their victory from the VIP party with friends and family before returning to Barcelona in your daily routine. The world champions have gradually returned to training and you have welcomed new players to the team, always in a good mood.

Everything seems perfect told like that, yet there is something that bothers you since your arrival in Barcelona.

Aitana Bonmati.

She never seemed very happy to see you arrive and you never understood why. At first you said to yourself that she was perhaps afraid that your arrival would cause an imbalance in the group, as can happen sometimes when an element has a too strong personality. Some are afraid of change and you have not asked yourself more questions than that, letting this information slip into a corner of your brain. She wasn’t necessarily part of the small group of girls you trained with regularly anyway since you don’t play in the same spot on the field.

But this summer, you could see that the new arrivals had the right to a big smile and other privileges to which you were not entitled. It’s not really a question of ego, but you don’t understand what you did to her to make her react this way with you. And that's hurt.

You have even noticed with the passing of time that she tends to be rather unpleasant with you, not responding to your hello when you arrive in the locker room for example. It happens to her to roll discreetly her eyes when you speak and you even surprised once Ona throwing her an elbow in the ribs while making the big eyes. It was a relief to see that you were not crazy and that your teammates were taking your side, but it also confirmed what you thought.

And gradually, it plunged you into a kind of constant anxiety, reminding you of some of your traumas during your childhood and adolescence. During which you were often mocked, the girl who preferred to play football rather than dance. Your father always supported you in your choices, unlike your mother, your big brother and your big sister. When they separated you went to live with him and he sacrificed a lot so that you would be where you are today, but you never had the heart to tell him about the harassment you were experiencing at school.

**********

"Can I talk to you?"

Alexia’s voice surprises you while you were focused on the laces of your Converse, making you jump a little. Lost in your thoughts, you were ruminating about the disaster you were during this training. You didn’t put a single ball in the net, you got so distracted that you got a remonstrance from Jona and you almost kill Mapi with a bad pass. Mapi preferred to laugh and quickly came to reassure you by giving you a friendly slap in the back and a hug, to your greatest relief. You would have been horrified to be hated by another of your teammates.

"Sure" you mumble without looking at her.

Alexia’s voice was sweet when she offered to follow her to one of the conference rooms and you complied after picking up your bag and stuff. All the other girls have already returned and the corridors now seem deserted.

When you arrive in the room, you watch Alexia open the blinds slightly as you stand against the wall, very close to the door. You’re anxious and just waiting to be scolded. It often happened like this, teachers taking you aside to say that you weighed on the morale or level of the class. That you had to work on it if you wanted to be accepted and have good results. But no one ever seemed to wonder why you didn’t get along with your classmates. No one ever noticed or understood the harassment you were experiencing. You never mentioned that either, but you would have given ten years of your life for someone to notice. Anyone.

So when Alexia turns to you with an almost maternal expression, it completely disarms you. Her eyes were soft and you can easily detect a form of concern in it.

"You can come closer, I won’t eat you" Alexia gently smiles before sitting on one of the tables, probably to make this conversation less formal.

After hesitating for a second, you settle down in front of her playing nervously with your hair.

"What can I do for you?" you ask, instead of "How are you gonna let me know that I’m gonna heat up the backup bench over the next few weeks?"

"I just wanted to make sure that everything was fine. You seem a little out of place these last few days and it’s starting to worry us. I talked with Jona about it today"

She seems embarrassed to tell you that she told someone else about you without you knowing, making you frown. Your facial expression is probably misunderstood by your captain as she hastens to add

"Don’t take this the wrong way. we’re just worried about you"

"I... I'm fine"

You shrug before biting your lip. You are a bad liar, you know it. And it didn't fool Alexia.

"You don’t have to tell me if you don’t feel comfortable with it. But there are other people here who will listen to you with pleasure."

"Don’t worry about me. It was just a time like this, but I’ll be fine"

Because it's what you always did. Figuring and fighting things alone, even if you have now friends who you trust and who you know you can count on.

"You don't have to do that alone, you know"

"Why do you even care?"

You roll your eyes. Sur Alexia is a great captain, and you like her a lot. As a friend of course, but you can't denied that she deserve her title. Like most other girls she is sincerely kind and knows how to distinguish between competition and friendships in the locker room. This is an example for you, as it is for many other girls. And even if she knows all this, she remains modest and does not take the big head. Pretty impressive, in your opinion.

"Is that even a question Y/N?"

Alexia laughs, but it’s a surprise laugh. She seems surprised at the sincerity of your question. And, seeing that you don't answer, she gently shakes her head before answering you.

"Because we care, you're part of this family and even if half of us are totaly crazy, we care for each other. Whatever your problem is, you don't have to figure out alone."

And these sentences, even if it seems to be the most natural thing for Alexia, break down the barriers you have put up until now. You feel tears wet your cheeks without being able to do anything to stop them. As if the dam that you had formed all these years had broken and all the tears that you had retained until today finally decided to come out. And obviously, it bothers you terribly.

You mumble excuses between two sobs, but after more or less calling you an idiot, Alexia breaks the distance between you two to take you in her arms and rock you against her. You don’t know how long you stay like this, but you still stop crying.

So you tell her everything.

The harassment when you were little, from part of your family and the children in your classes. The divorce of your parents which you feel responsible despite everything, this feeling of loneliness that you have since you were born certainly. This feeling of never being fully understood by anyone, until you arrived here. And then you talk about your teammate who reminds you of that, without giving her name. You don’t want to be a problem and Alexia doesn’t ask you to name her. Maybe because she already knows who she is?

The blonde listens to you without saying a word, patiently wiping the tears that continue to roll on your cheeks. When you are silent, exhausted by these confessions and your tears, she speaks again in a calm and soothing voice.

"I’m not going to pretend that I understand you because I was lucky enough to have a family that always supported me. I wouldn’t be here without them, honestly."

The bond between Alexia and her mother, even her sister is know by anyone. You nod, still looking at her.

"But you, you made your way all by yourself. You're only 21 Y/N, you don't realise how strong you are. But being strong doesn't always mean you have to be alone. You have friends here, people who love you and care for you. You are not alone anymore."

With that you smile at her, feeling relieved. As if the weight of all these years were coming off your shoulders. You even feel like you can breathe better. So you thank Alexia, with simple words but you couldn’t explain how much you think about them. As she lays a kiss on your cheek, you put your arms around her neck to hug her and press your words. She gives you your hug back before training you out of the room. Tomorrow is another day and you promise to do better than that.

**********

The rest of the workouts of the week are much better and you decide to completely ignore Aitana. You remain polite nevertheless, but you act as if she's not there. And this seems to annoy her even more but you decided that's not your problem. Many times you feel her look burn your back and you have time to see her black look before she realizes that you are looking at her and she looks away.

But your morale and your game are back to normal and it’s a great relief for you. For Alexia and your coach too, the man simply slips you a short compliment at the end of a session. No need to make tons and that’s enough for you.

The last practice before the next game goes as usual. You do your warm-ups with your fellow defenders, then you are shuffled for courses and drills before a five-player mini-team tournament is organized. You feel a form of anxiety that makes your heart beat when your team is against Aitana, but you decide to focus on the game.

It goes pretty well until you are tackled a little too ferociously by someone from the opposing team. The pain in your ankle and instantaneous and you can’t hold a cry of pain as you collapse to the ground.

"What the fuck Aitana?" Mapi snaps, but you don't really care for now.

The second duel that took place next to you seems to have stopped too, but the tears of pain that fill your eyes prevent you from seeing it for the moment.

"You're ok?"

Irene has knelt beside you and you feel a compassionate hand behind your back. Long black hair obscuring part of the view informs you that it's Ingrid. You answer a simple no with a nod and a few minutes later you are transported to the infirmary. Ona offered to accompany you and you agreed, realizing that you didn't want to be alone.

**********

"Sprain" informs you the nurse and you let yourself go against the file of the infirmary bed on which you are. "It means rest for two weeks."

You pout, but turn your attention to Ona when she places a friendly hand on your arm. You are so used to spending this kind of time alone that you sometimes forget for a few seconds that she is with you. You must be able to easily win the worst friend award.

"At least it’s not the ligaments" Ona said softly.

"You’re right" you sigh.

She gives you a compassionate smile and you assure her that she can take a shower and change. You still have the prescription to wait and the nurse must come back with your brace and crutches. After making sure you weren’t going to go home with an Uber but with her and Lucy, she eventually left the room. She even offers to inform the rest of the team of your injury and you accept willingly, not wanting to go to put a show there downstairs.

A few minutes pass and you always wait when someone knocks on the door.

"I still haven’t finished Ona, but you can come in."

Except that it is not Ona who enters, but Aitana. The look fixed on her shoes and the air of someone who goes to the torture room. And this time, the anger you had not yet felt takes hold of you.

"I came to apologize" Aitana mumbles without turning her eyes towards you.

"Well, it's done" you answer coldly, turning your back on her.

You don’t want to look at her. You’re mad at her, at her behavior. That she doesn’t like you is one thing, but that she makes you unable to play for two weeks is another.

"It wasn't voluntary"

You hold a sarcastic laugh and slowly shake your head.

"Ok."

Aitana seems surprised at your reaction, but you don’t care. It's true that usually you are more the one who flees the conflict and who prefers to go with the idea of the person in front of you to please her. She stands there and it annoys you. So you suddenly turn your head in her direction and you talk to her dryly.

"All right, you can go now. Just leave me alone."

The tone of your voice seems to make her react since she frowns and steps in your direction.

"Don’t talk to me like that."

You feel your heart racing, you have never been very good at dealing with disputes and emotions. Until now you had managed to buried them deep inside when they became too powerful but it seems that since your confessions to Alexia you are no longer able to do so. She says it’s a pretty good things, but you're not really sure about that.

"Don’t tell me how to talk to you when you’ve been treating me like shit since I got here, Aitana."

Aitana is stunned. She never saw you angry and expected you to accept her apology so that she could get out of this room as quickly as she got in. Her lost look irritates you a little more, she knew very well what she was doing by behaving as she did since the beginning. And you gradually realized that you didn’t deserve this.

"Who made you come here? Mapi, Alexia, Jonatan?"

She blushs and it's enough for you to understand that you are right. If she had the choice, she would never had been here, begging for your forgiveness.

"Get out" you groan, turning your back at her once again.

She didn't and you sigh before getting up as you can. It may not be the most graceful way to do it and it may take some drama off the stage, but you don't care.

"I said get out" you say, raising your voice now. "You don't want to be here and I don't want you here."

But she’s still not moving and your patience is coming to an end. From now on there is nothing else that separates you, except the bed on which you were lying a few moments ago. The nurse still hasn’t come back, but this might be the time to do it please.

"I- " began Aitana, without saying anything more.

"What do you want? Two weeks without me aren't enough? Want to break my other leg too?"

The frustration you feel about not understanding Aitana’s reaction and behavior may be pushing you a little to say things you never had the courage to say before. But it was less positive to return the floor to your interlocutor, whose face and eyes finally come alive again.

"I told you I didn't mean it" she half-screams and you snort. "Maybe I was wrong for acting with you like I did but..."

"Maybe?!" you interrupt her coldly.

"You made my life a living hell! You came here with your damn smile and skills and all my life fell appart!" Aitana is clearly shooting now and you blink, surprised by her rage. "I was in an healthy relationship, happy in my life and with this team. And you came along and everything fell apart! I am straight ok, I am so fucking straight but all I can think about all the time is you! I hate you for the way you make me feel but I'm not fucking able to change it even if I tried since you are here"

It is your turn to remain silent, your brain analyzing each of the words that she just said. And all this has absolutely no meaning for you, except the part where she confesses her hatred to you perhaps. Aitana’s breathing is fast and noisy, you can’t tell if it’s that or your screams that didn’t allow you to realize that you were no longer alone in the room.

"Hmm."

You look over Aitana’s shoulder and you realize that Ona has returned to the room with Lucy holding your crutches and a sheet of paper while she herself carry your bag.

"Maybe it’s time to go home"

Lucy’s perfectly expressionless face keeps you from knowing how long she’s been here. Two steps behind her, Ona makes her look between you and Aitana without saying anything. You nod and pass in front of Aitana with a limp, Ona reacting by breaking the last meters to help you take your crutches in hand.

You follow them silently to Lucy’s car and after some arguments with Ona you finally agree to sit in the passenger seat. By taking your phone out of your pocket, you realize that you have received some messages from your teammates wishing you a good recovery. And you quickly understand that they have created a tournus between them so that you are not alone at home. There will apparently be only during the trip next weekend where you will not have peace. But it makes you smile and a little forget what just happened.

"You want to eat with us tonight?" Lucy asks.

"Nah I'm good thank you. I usually watch some crap TV show on friday night."

You see Lucy peeking at you to make sure you’re not playing superhero and you feel the way she’s measuring you. You look up and sigh.

"I assure you it’s okay. Enjoy your Friday night, I’ll probably go to bed early anyway."

This time it's Ona that Lucy looks through the rearview mirror but neither of them insists, to your relief. Being alone doesn't bother you. Once at home, Ona helps you get out of the vehicle and before she can open her mouth, you speak again.

"I promise, i'm fine Ona."

"All right. I’ll leave you alone on the condition that you swear on your cat’s head that you will write me if you're not okay."

"Leave the poor cat alone" you joke, making her smile. "I promise."

**********

The doorbell on your front door makes you frown. You’re sitting on your couch, a blanket on your legs and your cat on your stomach. Your sprain is better, it must be said that after a week and a half of rest it would be dramatic that this is not the case. You have resumed muscle training, but it is obviously out of the question that you start running again for now. You can now move without your crutches and it was a great relief to be able to get rid of them. Your ankle is still carefully immobilized but you are now doing quite well.

Salma left your apartment half an hour ago, and you’re supposed to stop receiving visitors. Your father phones you every day and hasn’t done it yet, but he has no reason to show up here unannounced. That’s really not his style.

The bell rings again, waking up your cat who is rustling a little before going to eat croquettes in the kitchen. So you get up from the couch and go to the door, opening it without removing the safety chain to see who it is. And almost immediately you close the door, but the fingers of Aitana who slip into the opening prevent you to do so.

"Don’t make me break your fingers"

"Just let me in"

"No? What the hell"

"Y/N, please…"

The despair of her voice makes you flinch and you press your forehead against the door. You’re too sensitive to people’s distress to leave someone with that feeling. Even if it was Aitana herself who put you in this emotion there a few weeks ago. You sigh and, already regretting your gesture, you open the door to let her in. You avoid looking at her when she enters your home, closing the door behind her.

"You have a cat?"

You refrain from pointing out that if she had been interested in you instead of making you regret your arrival, she would know. If you don’t talk about your cat several times during the day, there is a problem.

"How do you know where I live?"

Aitana stop looking at your cat who spread out on your plaid to turn to you. With your arms crossed, you wait for his answer with a certain hint of curiosity. Aitana has never set foot in your house and if you are not mistaken, she does not really live in the neighborhood.

"I asked Irene"

She shrugs and you signal her to settle down on the couch. You go back to your place, gently pushing your cat to be a little more comfortable. With a simple look he made you understand that you're annoying, making you smile gently. You caress him to apologize as he stretches, rolls into a ball and closes his eyes.

"I came to apologize"

Sitting on the edge of the couch, Aitana looks at you with the same suspicion as if she had been the last piece of meat in the middle of a horde of hungry lions.

"I’ve already heard that before" you answer by arching an eyebrow

"I know. But I just... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, really. My problems shouldn’t have affected you. I should have handled things differently, but I was confuse and scared."

She looks sincere and does not look away when you judge her with yours. Next to you your cat stretches lazily before turning around on the other side and continuing his nap.

"Ok. Apologizes accepted"

She looks at you so long it makes you uncomfortable. You have never been in her presence for so long and you find yourself nervously wrapping your hair around your finger.

"If I could, I would do things differently, you know? I understand it’s out of the question that something is happening between us now, but I would like to start all over again. Get to know you, possibly offer you a date and then two if things go well."

You’re slowly biting your lip looking at her. You’d be lying if you said that the words she said in the infirmary didn’t mark you. You were far from imagining that the reason for his behavior was related to an attraction to you. You think it’s pretty toxic, but you like to think people deserve a second chance. After biting your lip, you bend over and reach out to her.

"Well... Hi. I'm Y/N, nice to meet you."

[thinkingaboutjaedyn]

a big fat lesbian masterlist ✸

INTRO ━ i'm aj! sixteen. black. they/them. became a fan of woso after the 23' world cup in around september. the biggest fan and defender of the uswnt w/no shame. jaedyn's wife™. i like the frawnt, chelsea, san diego wave, gotham, angel city, psg, real madrid, tigres and man city the most. also into college wbb & woho. i love writing fluff mostly, sometimes angst depending on my mood. never smut though. i'm just an overall menace and very chaotic and a yapper. an orange cat by definition.

RULES & REQUESTS ━ my only rule is that i don't write smut because i'm trash at it for one and for two i'm a whole minor. that already feels weirdly illegal. however, everything else is fine; angst, fluff, and sad stuff. i write for pretty much anyone but mainly for my faves because i have a grasp on their personalities way more than other players. requests are currently OPEN, but they take some time because my mind sometimes wanna be all funny and have writer's block. also i'm a full time highschool student and athlete, so i don't always have the time or energy. still i like writing alot so don't be shy to send in a request, i'll get to it eventually.

second masterlist

────────────────── ★ CURRENT WORKS

FRAWNT ★ ─────────────────────────

elisa de almeida

one. puppy love.

two. hot choco with a side of kisses.

three. the baby chronicles.

four. my favorite view.

five. eye contract is overrated.

six. kindergarten painted hearts.

seven. can't help myself.

eight. red looks good on you.

selma bacha

one. the biggest bully ever.

────────────────────── ★ BARCELONA

★ ───────────────────────────────

aitana bonmati

one. falling for you.

two. lovely jokester.

three. lovely jokester part two.

four. ex.

ingrid engen

one. never expected to like you this much.

two. nights like this; part one of series.

three. could've been; part two of series.

four. good days; part three of series.

five. ingrid as your girlfriend.

mapi leon

one. stupid headcanons.

two. hidden fear.

multiple players / all

one. napping with mapi leon and ingrid engen.

two. barcelona is the type to.

────────────────────────── ★ USWNT

★ ───────────────────────────────

trinity rodman

one. trin as your girlfriend.

two. beach day fun.

three. the kitty surprise.

four. it wasn't me.

ashley sanchez

one. most annoying person ever.

two. ash as your girlfriend.

kelly o'hara

one. five things about you.

sophia smith

one. soph as your girlfriend.

jaedyn shaw

one. i'm your biggest fan.

all / multiple

one. uswnt is the type to.

© THINKINGABOUTJAEDYN

[httpsdana]

𝐔𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐓𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬~𝐀 𝐅𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐧 𝐓𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐭 𝟏

summary: Barça players and talented footballers. Souls meet and sparks fly. But there's always a twist when it comes to love isn't there?

pairing: Ferran Torres x Gonzalez!Reader

warnings: cursing, slight age gap, angst

next part

Football runs in the family they say. Pedri Gonzalez was one of the new star boys of this generation. No one cares about his family or past, they just acknowledge the present.

A few knew that he had a sister. She called herself 'the forgotten child'. No one knew that she was a barça femeni player. Because simply no one cares about women's football.

The talent she had only bloomed in La Masia. The football dream academy. She was there alongside many other ladies that are well known. Aitana Bonmati and Salma Paralluelo were two of the players she played with when she was younger, but they got the chance to play for the first team before her, which only motivated her to push herself more, now reserving a spot in the starting line up of the women's team.

So there she was now, with the most g/a in Liga F, and the star of her team. Still no one knew her blood relations with the star boy Pedri, as she preferred to have her own name, rather than be hidden in the shadows of her twin.

What she didn't know was that she had some admirers from the men's team. She knew all of the players of course, unlike others she watched men's football and followed the barça men team. She admired the youngsters, got inspired by the experts, and found motivations in players who have seemed to come back from the death. The Shark Ferran Torres.

The number 7 has caught her attention after seeing the change in his mentality from the previous season to the current one. He seemed more stable and determined to prove others wrong, just like she did.

She didn't know that he secretly praised her, and watched her highlights through out the years. He began watching the women's team's matches because of her. He even learned some stuff from her, making him appreciate her even more, without anyone knowing.

No one needed to know that half the reason behind his change of mentality, was a 20 year old lady who played football and inspired him more than anyone else could.

He didn't know she was the twin of his best friend. Which is what causes the twist in their futures.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

"y/n you are the star of your team, people knowing about you being my twin now isn't gonna change anything" Pedri said, annoyed by the thoughts his sister had.

"who told you so Pedro? I prefer to stay like this than get more attention for being your sister" she rolled her eyes and flopped on the couch next to Fernando, who seemed unbothered while he watched a movie and ate some popcorn.

"god I wanna know who put these thoughts in your head. I miss going out with you" he let out a sigh, sitting next to her on the couch

y/n shook her head and focused on the movie that was being played.

"how about you meet my best friends? you literally don't have any social skills or friends" he complained making her roll her eyes

"Aita is my friend" she shrugged, knowing this was partially a lie. they were just teammates, not the type to go out on free days

"yeah and Ronaldo is better than Messi. you know she's not your friend" he rolled his eyes

"why are you so bothered anyways?" she asked, stealing some popcorn from Fer, making him hit her hand.

"you may not notice it now, but this will slowly destroy your mental health later on. you should go out and meet some new people. look beyond football and enjoy your free days" Pedri said.

He was slowly getting in her head, and she knew he was right. She let out a sigh and nodded her head.

"I'll think about it. how about I beat your ass in fifa now?" she smirked, making him gasp jokily.

"yeah as if you can do that" he scoffed, turning Fer's movie off to turn his PS5

"hey what the fuck?" Fernando said, making them laugh. Fer shook his head and glanced on his phone before getting up.

"mom texted she needs some help at home, I'm gonna go now" he said, taking his stuff and walking out of Pedri's apartment.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

"haha! that's 3-1 to me. you're such a loser" y/n slapped the back of Pedri's head, making him glare at her

"whatever I let you win anyways" he shrugged, making her laugh

they were interrupted by a knock on the door of the apartment. y/n looked at Pedri, who shrugged and got up to open the door.

She turned off the PS5 and put the movie back on, before Pedri walked awkwardly to the room. y/n stood up confused, before someone appeared behind Pedri.

"y/n, this Ferran. Ferran, y/n..my sister"

[baddestbittyontheblock]

dolliewu's january fic recs

ꪶ ꫂ hi everyone, i've decided join in on monthly fic recs. i hope you all enjoy my faves of january!! ꪶ ꫂ

ꪶ ꫂ remember to like and reblog the works you enjoy in order to support each writer!! ꪶ ꫂ

ꪶ ꫂ however, make sure you read the information on each story themselves such as triggers & warnings ꪶ ꫂ

ꪶ ꫂ also, if you’d like me to remove your fic from this list, message me! ꪶ ꫂ

ꪶ ꫂ dividers: @chilumitos, banner: toby cosmico on pinterest ꪶ ꫂ

woso

alexia putellas

❅ against all odds (to wait for you is all i can do) – part twelve (final part) by @thesunisatangerine alexia putellas x photojournalist!reader | mentions of grief, suggestive content

-this wasn’t the first time you caught yourself thinking how difficult it was to have two professional athletes in your life, and it also wasn’t the first time you wondered how their bodies could store so much energy.

❅ aromatic affections by @codiemarin alexia putellas x reader | fluffy smut, fingering, more fluffy than smutty actually

-you´ve had a rough few weeks and alexia wants to help you feel better.

ingrid engen, mapi leon

❅ always want you by @girlgenius1111 ingrid x mapi x reader

-with mapi injured, and ingrid running herself ragged with the team, r does everything she can think of to take some of the stress of them. she neglects herself in the process though, until an injury forces her to slow down. she doesn't take it very well.

aitana bonmati

❅ cope, coffee, and poetry by @repulsiveliquidation aitana bonmati x reader | smut, angst, mentions of cheating. 18+ DNI.

-“you deserve a lover who takes away the lies and brings you hope, coffee, and poetry.”

kpop

blackpink

❅ good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere by @jensettermandu g!pjennie kim x fem!reader | mdni, morally grey characters, toxic relation/situationships, domestic abuse, violence, substance use/abuse, mentions of weight/toxic beauty standards, dubcon, a lot of smut (spitting, spanking, bondage, choking, rough sex, etc. appears), age gap (legal), mentions of sensitive topics, not made for glorification of toxic relationships, 12k+

-y/n opened the door to her apartment as the knocking wasn't stopping and groaned at the person on the other side.

twice

❅ like last years vogue by @sanazakis minatozaki sana x fem!reader | rich kids!au, smut, bondage, edging, praising, spanking, strapping, sana has her middle-class shit together, kinda friends to lovers, friends with benefits, money, sex, power, inspired by the wolf of wall street, which if you haven’t watched yet, can be described in three words. money, sex, power. (and drugs, so maybe not three words.)

-and maybe you’re just tired of the limitations of wealth, the grandeur, the opulence. maybe you’re just tired of seeing the same people day in and day out. but without that, there’s only sana — sana who smirks at you like there's a joke you’re never in on, who shows up in spaces she doesn’t belong and makes you want her.

❅ they can't love you like i love you by @sanarkeo dom!idol!nayeon x sub!idol!reader | exhibitionism, humiliation, power dynamics? unnie kink, 4k

-nayeon wants to show her girl off to the world.

aespa

❅ over her by @myouicieloz yoo jimin x reader | a little smut in the end (just a little). reader and yn don’t really talk abt it tbh. skipping meals

-you overhear karina talking about how clingy you are and from then out started being distant and non-affectionate towards her and she eventually confronts you and asks why you keep pushing her away, to which you tell her

peaky blinders

❅ little one by @tommyshelbyslittleprincess tommy shelby x reader

-tommy notices your pregnancy before you do

celebrities

harry styles

❅ taught well by @signoferoda dad!harry styles x reader

-the kids go into protective mode after someone flirts with y/n at the beach

call of duty

simon "ghost" riley

❅ too good by @dammn-dean simon riley x fem!reader | 2.4k

-"love, they are here!” simon’s voice bellowed through the flat to reach your ears.

❅ dad!simon blurb by @ragingbookdragon dad!simon riley x reader

-there’s something about seeing simon riley as a dad that makes her heart swell with love and adoration

❅ dig a little deeper by ^ simon riley x reader | explicit language, blood and wounds, 1.4k

-the pain surged through her side as she managed to pick herself up off the ground, rattled by the blast that had knocked her off her feet and into the dirt.

❅ his girls by @casiia simon riley x fem!reader | the SMALLEST bit of angst, just a lot of overly detailed domestic simon, baby daddy simon who is still in love with you, maybe ooc

-baby daddy!simon who walks with his daughter to school for her first day, he’s has her small disney-themed backpack tugged onto his shoulder, the straps too small and digging into his skin. but he doesn’t care.

❅ older boyfriend!simon by @luvit simon riley x gn!reader | mdni, 18+

-older-boyfriend!simon who tries to push you away at first.

❅ what they would say during sex by @prettybean cod x reader | 18+

-“i know it's big”

❅ simon blurb by @starstruckmiraclekitty simon riley x reader | fluff

-“you’ve fallen for them, haven’t you?”

❅ simon smut by @callmemickey simon riley x reader | smut

-simon riley fucks intensely and passionately.

❅ to be alive in the summer by @halcyone-of-the-sea simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader | angst, betrayal, intense gore, violence, death, allusions to intimacy, weapons, vulgar language, recovery, torture, happy ending, 8.3k

-betrayal had never been in your cards, and you definitely didn't see yourself being the one responsible for the act. When having to go undercover, first comes the problem of staging your death.

❅ simon fic by ^ simon riley x fem!reader | gore, death, blood, panic attack

-your body shakes violently, blood dripping down like crimson tears from your hands. the overwhelming sense of dread sits with bullet fragment aggression in the delicate make-up of your psyche.

❅ denial by @callsign-prophet simon riley x reader

-you're not his girlfriend, but don't you dare to have a date with someone else. if he only has eyes for you, so do you.

❅ dad!simon by @lundenloves dad!simon riley x reader | fluff, angst

-simon reacting to his oldest daughter having a small crush on a boy at school! overprotective simon having to be scary

❅ secret wife by @moongreenlight simon riley x secretwife!reader

-if there’s one thing gaz knows how to do, it’s shut the fuck up.

❅ lovely by @yawnderu  dad!simon "ghost" riley x mom!reader | fluff

-"she looks just like you."

❅ simon comforts his son during a tantrum by @nsharks dad!simon riley x reader | very brief abuse mention

-“what do we need the cranberries for, love?”

❅ neighborhood watch by @kkvqwrites simon riley x fem!reader | violence, breaking and entering, SA mentioned/alluded to (not on-screen)

-the news had reported some unsolved break-ins. if you thought simon took it overboard with his protectiveness before, you were in for a shock.

❅ talk dirty to me by @yujivrs konig, ghost, and price | praise, slight breeding kink, degradation, dumbification

-their dirty talking styles.

könig

❅ cute blurb by @peaches-creek könig x reader

-you have been tossing and turning for what felt like hours. the gargantuan man that slept beside you has been knocked out, as he has been for hours.

❅ distracting dreams. longer name by @dizzykss könig x reader | marks, fingering, pussy play, semi-public, slight age gap

-könig notices you avoiding him. and it doesn’t take long for him to figure out that it’s all because of a little dream you had.

❅ talk dirty to me by @yujivrs konig, ghost, and price | praise, slight breeding kink, degradation, dumbification

-their dirty talking styles.

❅ the invisible string theory by @halcyone-of-the-sea könig x fem!reader | human trafficking, mentions of unwanted touching, trauma, blood, gore, guns, bullets, protective!könig, soft!könig, nightmares, mentions of bullying, etc.

-you didn't expect the man who gave you his coat to be the same one to bust down the door where you and the other women slept - sniper hood scaring everyone within an inch of their life. you didn't expect him to become so important to you, either. (based on könig's in-game backstory)

[delfiore]

—THROUGH THE DARK.

pairing: aitana bonmatí x reader

synopsis: when aitana buckles under the weight of her shoot to fame, you’re there to catch her when she falls as you navigate the first months being together.

word count: 2.2k

a/n: ha ha! i am back … or am i?

Aitana began to smile less.

You didn't blame her. Her schedule was a whirlwind between Barcelona and international duties, that you both never got a break. The sheer stress of it all could drive even the most sane and strong-willed to insanity. Aitana was such a person, but she wasn't invincible. Or so you told yourself.

Then she began to spend more time alone. She was sneaky about it. She'd make excuses that seemed to track for the best female football player in the world, telling you she wanted to stay back and practice free kicks or do a few more reps at the gym. "Go home first," she would say. "I'll see you later."

By "home", she meant her apartment. It wasn't quite yours yet—you hadn't started seeing her until just before the World Cup—but you spent five nights out of seven a week there anyway, so it might as well be your home in all but name.

Everyone wanted a piece of her, your dazzling superstar. Since the night of her triumph in Sydney, she had unintentionally put herself in the spotlight. She was a name on everyone's lips, the new hot commodity, fresh meat for all the vultures to have their claws into. More journalists wanted to interview her, more fans wanted to be photographed, more causes wanted to feature her.

The moment you started take that bad feeling seriously was when she came to you sobbing one night after a phone call with the Spanish federation that lasted until four in the morning. She would have to fly to Valencia the next morning for camp. Her bitter tears seeped into your shirt, and you vowed to march all the way to Madrid and beat that monster up for dragging her and her teammates through the mud like nobodies after what should have been the best time of their lives.

Worst of all, Aitana had apologized for breaking down before you. It was the hardest cry you had ever seen her have. "I'm sorry," she said, sniffling loudly. "I'm not usually like this."

You didn't mind. You just wanted to keep her from feeling alone. So you stayed the night until she had to leave for the airport only a few hours later.

Aitana was the neatest person you'd ever met. It was one of the first things you realized about her, and one of the things that drew you to her. Somehow you started noticing her things lying around the apartment, half-used and neglected. You'd always clean it up, but that silly feeling grew with each misplaced item.

You always held her at bedtime. To be able to press your body close to hers, to feel the ripples of her muscles under her warm skin, was always a part of your routine that you looked forward to, especially recently with the nagging feeling that you had.

It was after a league game one night, in which she had several assists, that you gathered the courage her. "Penny for your thoughts?"

Aitana snorted, despite her continued silence. "What kind of phrase is that?"

"It means 'Let me know what you're thinking and I'll give you a penny for it.'"

"My thoughts are not cheap," she declared a huff.

You chuckled and kissed her head. "It's just an expression, babe."

You were hopeful about her answer. Maybe if it came down to it, she would talk to you if there was something wrong.

She said nothing that night. You leaned down and kissed her lips anyway, to let her know you would listen if she chose to.

You told her that you loved her for the first time after a particularly difficult game in the Champions League. It was one you should have won easily, but you struggled mightily to even tie the game. Due to the packed schedule of the past few weeks, it was clear on the faces of your teammates after the match that the exhaustion had caught up with them, and the relief of salvaging a point to save face was immense.

Aitana blamed herself for the result, but there was little she could have done as she was substituted in the later stages of the game. She had never been one to show her emotions, especially the bad ones. You never pushed her. You just wanted her to feel safe enough to let it all go, knowing you would be there to catch her. You were tired too - so damn tired - but you drove the two of you home because you wanted to make sure she was okay. As soon as she opened the door, Aitana let out a loud sigh of relief and collapsed on the couch with a groan.

"Come on. Let's get you in bed, okay?" You said softly as you maneuvered her arms around you to try and lift her up.

She only huffed and let you carry her to her bed, where you gently set her down as if she were made of glass. Then you waited for her to undress before handing her her pajamas.

You just felt it was the right time when she was settled in bed under the covers with you. You were never one to make empty promises - words have no meaning in comparison to actions - but you had never felt this way about anyone before. Besides, it was the kind of thing that she might have needed to hear.

So, despite the pounding heart in your chest, you took the calmest breath you needed to utter those words into the dark bedroom you now shared.

You were right, Aitana did need this. It came out of the blue, but there was nothing greater than to love and to know that you were loved in return. Suddenly, the heavy weights on her shoulders didn't seem so burdensome anymore. With a tired chuckle, she whispered those words back to you and nuzzled her head into your chest.

She would leave the weight by the side of the bed to be dealt with in the morning, just for the night.

Aitana seemed to be getting back to her usual bubbly self. She was still tired most of the time, but that became an added bonus as she was always whining and demanding cuddles to "recharge" her, which you were happy to do. Old habits die hard, because only a few weeks later your girlfriend slipped back into her reclusiveness, and this time it got so bad that even some of the girls seemed to notice.

"Is Aitana all right?" Keira asked you once when Aitana was out of sight. "She seems ... I don't know, pretty down lately?"

You wished you had a good answer for her, but you didn't. Inside, your stomach was in knots. Wasn't it you who was supposed to know her best? Shouldn't you also be able to help her through this?

Your eyes darted across the dining room to where your girlfriend was waiting in line for her food. You gave her a quick smile when she came back, only to have her take a quick glance at you before she dug into her food.

Whoever decided that any football player should be allowed to play as much as you did needs to go to hell. As Jonatan gathered everyone on the training field to give a briefing on the schedule for the coming month, you could feel your anxiety begin to rise. Not for you, but for Aitana, who listened intently but couldn't help letting out a strained sigh.

"¡Tres partidos en una semana! Y tendremos que hacerlo durante varias semanas. ¿Cómo es eso ético?" ("Three games in one week! And we're going to have to do this for several weeks. How is that ethical?") Irene exclaimed.

"Y esperan que rindamos al máximo nivel." ("And they expect us to perform at the highest level.") Salma sighed and shook her head.

"Whatever, guys." Lucy said. "We'll show them that we're the best club in the world."

You looked over at Aitana standing beside you. She seemed to be deep in thought, staring at the room in front of her and chewing on her fingernails again. She always does that when she gets anxious.

She was quiet for the rest of the practice up until the car ride home. It had been a long day, so you let her rest, putting on quiet music as you drove the two of you home.

The silence was unnerving because Aitana was always chattering your ear off. She tries to talk to you in English when she can, but when her brain gets tired, she babbles in a mix of Spanish and Catalan.

Upon your arrival home, Aitana takes your two duffel bags and dumps their contents into the washing machine while you took your water bottles into the kitchen for a rinse

"We still have a lot of produce that we either have to eat or get rid of before we go to Betis, babe. We're not going to be home for the whole week." You took a look in the refrigerator. "We could make that salad recipe you saw online recently."

When she remained silent, you closed the refrigerator. "Babe?"

She bent over the washing machine as it spun around with your dirty laundry in it. Her eyes watched the circular motion intently as her chest rose and fell heavily.

"Tana," you said quickly as you walked over to her and pulled her into your arms.

You heard soft sniffling that quickly turned to sobbing as Aitana clung to you. She buried her face in your chest again and you let her cry.

"I think I need help."

Hearing her say that felt like releasing the biggest breath you'd ever held. Everything you'd been suspecting for months had been true. It was all your fault. She had reached her breaking point, and you hated yourself for not having gotten her to open up to you sooner.

"That's okay. We all need help sometimes." You said, trying to steady your voice. Aitana sighed wetly, resting her head on your shoulder. "I'll help you find someone to talk to," you said. "We could talk to Jonatan, ask him for some time off for you. Whatever you need."

"Solo te quiero a ti." ("I only want you.") Aitana mumbled.

"All right," you chuckled softly and planted a kiss on her forehead. "It's okay, babe. We're in this together. You and me, yeah?"

Feeling her nod into your shirt, you smiled again. When she pulled away to wipe her face, you looked down to see a soaked spot where her face rested.

"You got snot all over me," you teased.

"Calla." ("Shut up.") For the first time in a long while, you had managed to make her laugh. Even though it was short-lived, and quickly followed by a blush on her face, you were grateful for the small victory. When her arms found your waist again, pulling your flushed bodies together once more, it felt much bigger than that. You grinned as you put your arm around her neck and gladly accepted the soft kiss she gave you.

She pulled away slowly, and you whined, wanting her lips on yours forever. "I love you. I really do." Aitana said.

"No, I love you more."

"Impossible."

"Si, possible."

Her smile fell as she let out another sigh. “How the fuck are we going to get through all this?”

“Together, that’s how.” You said, determined. “And then . . . remember that really nice Airbnb I found in Greece? We could go there, just the two of us, just for a couple of days.”

“Ugh, I wish we could skip to that right now.” Aitana groaned and wiped away the rest of her tears.

“Well,” you drew her closer with a wolfish smirk. “I could always give you a preview?”

The cabin in Greece had to wait until the end of the season, but by then Aitana had gotten much better. You were glad too, seeing the many trips to a new therapist you accompanied her on was starting to pay off. It gave you peace of mind too.

“Come on, bébé!” Aitana gasped, running excitedly on the gravel path towards the quaint little house. “How did you find this place? This is so beautiful!”

You chuckled, watching her admiring the view behind cabin, the calm Mediterranean sea at dusk.

“You like it?” You drew your arms around her waist and planted a short kiss on her shoulder, basking in the afternoon sun.

“Yes,” she beamed, the sun paling in comparison. “I do. Thank you.”

[repulsiveliquidation]

Masterlist.

Requests are open. If there is a WIPs you'd like to offer ideas for, feel free!

I write for everyone down here, mainly Arsenal WFC and FC Barcelona Femeni.

Alexia Putellas

Aitana Bonmati

Ona Batlle

Lucy Bronze

Leila Ouahabi

Ingrid Engen

Maria Leon

Leah Williamson

Lotte Wubben-Moy

Georgia Stanway

Maya Le Tessier

Jessie Fleming

Alessia Russo

I do not write for Katie McCabe, Ella Toone, Lia Wälti, Laura Wienroither, The Tillies, and certain Spaniards. However, feel free to ask me anyway if you have a request!

key : fluff = 💛, angst = 🚨, smut = 🔞

WIPs

Writer x Reader

Jessie Fleming

You Drew Stars Around My Scars 🚨🔞

Thorn in my Side 🚨

Wake Up Call 🔞

Jill Roord

The White Suit 🔞

Oral Fixation 🔞

Say Yes to Heaven 🔞

Elevators 🔞

Leila Ouahabi

Eyes on Me 🔞

Group Project [The Orgy] 🔞

Want, Not Need. Pt. 1

Want, Not Need Pt. 2

Careful Planning

Two is Better than One

Aitana Bonmatí

Ecstasy 🔞

Hope, Coffee, and Poetry 🔞

earmuffs 🚨

fidgets 💛

pretty lights 💛

lather 💛

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Baby It’s Cold Outside 🔞

Alexia Putellas x Leah Williamson

Time Consuming 🔞

Time Difference 🔞

Alexia Putellas x María León

Twice the Pleasure 🔞

María León x Ingrid Engen

Crippled 🔞

Arsenal Women

Chosen Family 💛

Alexia Putellas

Scars 🚨

Broken 🚨

Claire De Lune 🚨

all the rain in the world. 🚨

Darlin' I'd Wait For You 💛

Paris 🔞

If I have to ask, I don't want it. 🚨

Fire and Ice 🔞

beige. 🔞

One Call Away 🔞

Bottom Ale 🔞

Betrayed 🔞

Show Me 🔞

Ona Batlle

without you 🚨

Too Dangerous 🔞

To Love Someone 🔞

The Best of Me 🔞

Backseat 🔞

Touchy Feely 🔞

don’t let them hear. 🔞

Angel in the House 💛

Royalty 💛

La Princesa 💛

She's going to be okay. 💛

I don't think you deserve gentle darling. 🔞

Touch me like nobody else does. 🔞

Leah Williamson

Guardian of My Heart 🚨

Sun to Me 🚨

Alone 🚨

good excuse 🔞

When I’m with you, there is no one else because I get heaven to myself. 💛

Cookies and Cuddles 🔞

baby bear 🔞

dreams 🔞

don't wander 💛

Kiss Me Before You Go 💛

Arsenal's Number 6 🔞

Blueberry Pancakes 💛

Fore! 💛

They could never be mad at you. 💛

Nightmares and Hot Chocolate 💛

Leah Williamson x Lucy Bronze

I've got you. 💛

Georgia Stanway x Leah Williamson

I don't need you. 💛

Maya Le Tessier

I'm not sick. You're delusional. 💛

Georgia Stanway

Lazy Saturdays and Scrambled Eggs 💛

[futbolfanficpunk]

The Coach II

Player: Pep Guardiola

Summary: Months after your brief encounter at the end of football camp, Pep and female football player-reader meet up to see each other one more time. Word count: 3600+ Warnings/ themes: Infidelity, Soft Smut, Angst. Alcohol.A/N: This was going to be the second and final but it became so long I divided them up. The third and final one should come out in the next week. Since Man City won the Premier League and Pep was in Ted Lasso I decided to hurry this up and release it. Enjoy.  Part 1 

           You entered the lobby, it was early in the night. The lobby echoed with the sounds of people. tourist walking and chatter in different languages. You went straight to the hotel front desk and asked for an envelope left to you under your name, “Here you are, miss” said the man behind the counter. “Thank you, have a good night” you said as you started walking towards the elevator. You took the card key out of the envelope and looked at a sticky note on top of it that said in handwriting Room 1021. You smiled as you looked up to get in the elevator and pressed the white button next to the number 10 sign. You put the card key in your purse. You sighed and checked yourself in the reflection of the elevator mirror. Your heart had started to get a bit jittery and your breath was becoming shorter. No other man had this effect on you, no one could make you both as bold or as doubtful. But of all the things you could have been thinking, you could only think of how you got there. It was almost time for the international break and you were thinking if you should travel back home or stay in Spain, or go somewhere else for a mini vacation. Villareal, your club, was 4th in Liga F, and you were doing well. You had scored four goals by now, had good percentages of passes completed every game, and a good defensive rate. Your only shortcoming was that you sometimes lost your temper and you would argue with the ref and get a yellow, you had three of them by then.  Besides all the games won, you had a good highlight, an outside-the-box goal against Fc Barcelona, although the game ended 5-2 in their stadium, you were proud of yourself. They were the best team in Spain and in the top 3 of Europe, and you got one against them. You even exchanged jerseys with AItana Bonmati, you admired her, up there with Alexia Putellas. You still thought about Pep, not as often as before, but every now and then you would fantasize about seeing him again. You would watch some Manchester City games and get butterflies whenever the camera focused on him. He always looked so intense, so serious on TV. Not the man who offered you a flirty smile when his hand was touching your pussy, that man was never on TV. 

A week before the international break, Pep texted you. He hadn’t texted you since pre-season. You jumped up when you saw the notification with his name Coach P. He asked how you were and praised your first quarter of the season. You told him you had seen his games and were rooting for them to take over the first spot by the end of the season. You asked him how he was. He replied after a minute that he was doing fine, busy as usual, but something had kept bothering him. You asked what was bothering him, surprised he was actually having a conversation with you on text besides football. 

< I keep thinking about you and the move you pulled on me>

You answered with a question  

<In a good way or a bad way?>

<Both> he replied right away.

 <If it’s any consolation, I think about you too> you sent back, you were nervous and excited. He liked you, he thought about you, more than you had thought. You were almost about to squeal.

<That’s the least you could do> 

You didn’t know what to reply but he texted you again before you could reply

<I’m going to be in Barcelona for two days during your international break, I know you are not called up for your National Team. I would like to see you, if possible> 

You had to reread your message three times before you screamed and kicked the air multiple times. Can fantasies come true?, you thought.

<I don’t know if I can, but yes, call me and maybe we can figure it out> 

<I’ll call you tomorrow afternoon, good night>

<night!>

You almost didn’t sleep that night, thinking about seeing him again, trying to plan conversations because you were sure you were going to be a hot mess if you indeed saw each other, and you always reverted to small talk when you couldn't think straight. The elevator opened on the 10th floor, you looked for the room and opened the door with your card key. This was a big suite room. It had an entrance with a small living room, and the bed was in another room. “Hola?” you sang a bit loud while you closed the door, “Estoy aquí” (I’m here). You looked around moving slowly. You were really nervous, you had thought about this for so long that the idea of it finally happening scared you a bit. Pep entered the room from the bedroom and stopped to look at you and said “Hello” with a small smile. He was wearing a black turtleneck with gray pants and black shoes, he looked sophisticated but unassuming. You felt a small jolt down your spine when you saw him but tried to play it cool. “Hi” you replied and flashed him a small wave. The last time you saw him you felt so powerful and dominant, sure you could make him yours for a bit, but now you were feeling overwhelmed. He came over to give you customary kisses on each cheek and asked how you were, you said you were fine, trying to sound convincing.  

He took a big breath and asked “Would you like something to drink?”

“Sure, what are you having?”

“A whiskey on the rocks” “I’ll have the same” you replied

He went to the room’s kitchenette to serve your drinks while you looked around the room, admiring the colors of the room and the chic furniture.

“How was the trip here?”

“It was fine, shorter than I remembered”

“Good”

“And the hotel where I’m staying is nice, very modern and hip”

Not the small talk, you thought. 

He came over and handed you your drink. “Cheers” you said as you offered your glass “Cheers” he said and he gently touched his glass with yours. You both had a sip of your drinks while you looked at each other, there were nerves in the air. “Do you want to sit down?” he asked and he took his hand to your back to guide you to the sofa next to you.

“Okay” you said as you went in front of him to sit.

You sat and drank half your whiskey right away. 

“Is everything okay?” Pep said and sits next to you “Do you want to leave?” he said as to let you know he noticed you were different. 

“Why do you say that?” you said surprised

“Well, you barely talked or moved, you seem…uncomfortable” Pep explained as he drank some whiskey.

“Oh. I’m just feeling a bit nervous to be honest. And, no, I don’t want to leave” you replied. You wish you could control the awkwardness and you were failing but you needed him to know you wanted to be there too.

 Last time you were in a room together you felt you had nothing to lose, that you probably would never see or speak to each other again. This time it didn’t feel like that, your aggressive behavior was suppressed by the possibilities of what could be said and done there.

“Y/N, How can you be nervous when you look like this?” asked Pep pointing at your outfit and face. He was more than attracted to what he saw.

“ It doesn’t matter, being alone here with you is making me feel a bit on edge” you said, you were always honest and direct with him, it was better this way, you liked it that way.

Pep chuckled and brushed his lips on the cheek close to your lip to give you a small kiss. You let out a short, shy, quiet giggle.

“There’s nothing to be nervous about, hermosa” he says as he caresses your profile with his fingers “we’re here to hang out, right?” “Um, yea” you said while your hand went looking for the one touching your face. You took it into yours while looking at him. “Is that what we’re here for? I wasn’t exactly sure”

“We can do whatever you want” he said while interlacing his fingers with yours and pulling you towards him, putting his other hand on your naked thigh

“Is that true?” you asked, feeling a warmness all over your body induced by his touch “You arranged this whole thing to do whatever I say?”  He nodded.

“So if I say ‘Pep, let’s just get drunk and watch TV’, you’re okay with that?” you asked, testing him. He stared at your soft pink lipgloss-covered mouth “Yes,” he said while the hand that was on your thigh comes towards your face and he traces your bottom lip with his index finger “Is that what you want to do?” 

 “Right now?” your heart was running even if you were seated. You looked at his mouth, he had a cocky smirk on it “No.” You didn’t feel nervous at all, it had faded away completely and you could only feel a yearning for him and his touch. His hand was now grazing your hair.

“Would you like me to kiss you?” he said, his face got close to yours.

You touched his chin with your bottom lip “Yes, I would”.  You were ready and eager, and it seemed that he was too.

He took you by your hair and gently placed his lips on yours, slightly opening his mouth right after while placing a deeper kiss. You felt liberated from any feelings that were holding you back and with a deep breath you open your mouth even more to slip your tongue into his mouth, finding and trying to dominate his. He let out a small groan. You separate from the kiss and said “Sit back”. He did and you mounted him, legs open as much as you could on the sofa, your core on top of the area his member should be. “Not nervous anymore? he said while looking up at you “Mm-mm” you said as you puckered up a smile and shook your head. He started kissing your breasts over your clothes, lips leaving wet traces on your exposed chest and neck. You were panting with desire, reacting to his touch. You couldn’t take it anymore and kissed him again furiously, lips and tongue making a sloppy mess all over his own. You pulled back to take off your top and bra in a lust-filled hurry, you wanted it all off. “Fuck, look at you” he said when he sees your naked torso. “Let me take this off” you said, tugging at the hem of his shirt. Once off, he pulled you towards him and kissed you, hand on your waist, your breasts touching his chest. You could now feel him getting hard, poking you, you moaned into his mouth while you moved your hips back and forth. You weren't thinking about anything, just feeling, letting yourself go. “I need you naked and on my bed, now” he said in between kisses. “That can be done” you said in between jumpy breaths. You unmounted him and took the rest of your clothes off except your panties while walking to the bedroom. “Ven” (come on) you said looking back, both to give your command while looking at him, but also because you really wanted to know if he was into it as much as you were. He looked flustered but ready, his eyes darker than ever, pupils dilated. He was smitten by you. You sat on the corner of the bed, legs crossed and waiting for him to come to you. You now felt the rush of carnal tension and curiosity, you had thought about this moment for so long, and you were confident it was going to be worth every minute you waited for it, or at least hoped. Pep walked over barefooted and only wearing his pants. You took off your panties slowly and crossed your legs again while he watches, you love flirting with your body.

“You’re a dream, you know? So beautiful. I’ve been thinking about you for months” he said, opening your legs while you let a seductive smile be drawn by his words “Now, let me have that pussy of yours”. You let out a big breath, barely able to breathe at a regular pace after you see his head hide in between your legs and feel his warm tongue almost make out with your slit, making you let uncontrollable moans out of your mouth. “Are you always going to be so wet for me?” he asked while still in between your legs “Alw-shit-always” you try to say while he attacks your clit with his tongue.

“Jodeeeeer!” He groaned as he came all over your back and collapsed on the bed following your mutual orgasm. The leftover waves of pleasure still made you jerk your hips. You held your core with your right hand thinking of how intense it felt. This man wanted you, desired you, kissed, bit and sucked everything he could, said the sexiest praises in your ear and pounded you like he was never going to fuck you again. He made you come hard and twice. You laid next to him, he was still panting while looking at the ceiling, looking fucked out. You looked at him, still trying to catch your breath, and gently kissed his shoulder. “If we ever do that again I might have to be your permanent side chick” you said while laughing mid way through the sentence and stumbling through the last three words. He looked at you and smiled, he planted a small kiss on your cheek, and said “That’s exactly why you need to go to your own hotel tonight”. You frowned, that sentence actually hurt your feelings. It didn’t feel like a joke, just a warning. You felt disposable, used, you felt like you just connected and he was telling you to fuck off.

“Well, you at least should have waited until I cleaned your cum off my body before you started kicking me out’ you said, annoyed as you sat up.

“That’s not what I meant“ said Pep as he sat up and shook his head

You stood up from the bed “Oh, I think you said what you meant. Having post-nut clarity, are we? That’s ok. I’m getting some myself. I’ll clean up and be on my way back to my hotel” you said in an anger-flared rush “Would you calm down and listen?” he said, you were officially mad now, you were known for losing your cool. He knew that you went from zero to sixty in three seconds.

“You should know by now, old man, that you don’t tell women to calm down when they are mad” you said and walked away from him “Oh for fuck’s sake, venga ya, mujer! Esto no es un puto partido para estar peleando tanto” you heard him say as you entered the room’s bathroom (Come on, woman! This isn’t a fucking match to be fighting this much)

 You took the first towel that you saw and threw it on the floor while grunting “Asshole!” and just stared at it for a minute. You didn’t expect anything specific from this night, but to feel like someone’s cum bucket wasn’t it. You were livid and sad at the same time. How could you be so stupid? Why would you have a crush on a married man? “Y/N” said a voice behind you. You turned to see him by the bathroom door

“What?” you snapped like a teenager talking back to their parents

“Look, I’m not saying you have to go now, I wasn’t clear. It’s just not a good idea for you to stay here. I actually want you here. Please, don’t be upset”  he said as he slowly got closer and closer to your naked body with every word. “Well, whatever, I think I'll leave now. I don’t think I want to stay here with you” you said still feeling defensive. “Stop trying to fight me, Y/N. If what I said hurt your feelings, I apologize. I wasn’t trying to kick you out. I want you to be here and hang out a bit more, and maybe we can see each other in the morning before you leave. You just can’t sleep here, that’s all. Remember, I’m not single like you” he said as he stroked your bare arms, as to comfort you in some way. “ I wasn’t planning on sleeping here, anyway” you said with a pout. He held your face and said “You’re so cute when you pout, you hot head” Pep pressed his lips against yours, and his naked body pressed itself against yours. You felt your body melt a little with his kiss. He had experience cooling women down from a mad mood, you could tell. You kissed him back, your mouth wanting his, expecting some tenderness. He separated himself from you and said “Let’s clean you up, I’ll help you” and he did. 

You shared a hot shower, washing and touching each other softly, caressing as you both cleaned each other, stopping only to kiss under the water every now and then. Just as fast as you got a hot head, you had calmed down and felt totally at ease. It felt so good to be pampered that you just had to say something because both of you were so concentrated on the task at hand that you barely talked. You took a second to hug him and lay your head on his chest, “This feels so nice” you said as you sigh. He gave you a small kiss on your hair and caressed your wet back. It felt so intimate and close, even more than just fucking each other, like something a real long-term couple would do. You barely had experienced anything close to this. All your relationships had been short, casual, or long distanced. You decided to keep washing him and get some more soap to wash his chest, stomach and reached to clean his member, when you washed him, he got hard as you moved your hand to make it clean. You smiled, it tickled you so that he was so turned on by you. “Is that for me?” you said as you grab his hard cock

“If you want it” 

“So bad” you said and let water hit it so that the soap comes off. You got down, and then you let your tongue traces its whole shape, as it twitched slightly from your tongue's touch. You grabbed the base of it with your hand, while you put the rest of it in your mouth, tasting the tip with your tongue. You couldn’t believe how hard he was. The warm water kept washing over you as you kept sucking and licking him, he kept looking at you while small deep groans came out of him, you enjoyed having him there in your mouth, seeing him trying to look at you while fighting his eyes from closing from the feeling that came from your action, small noises leaving his throat.  

“ I haven’t been this hard in years. God, you’re so good at that, Y/N”

“am I?” you said while stroking him harder, going in to suck him faster, if you liked one thing, it was his praises. Your tongue licked him up and down while one hand stroked him and the other one massaged his balls.

“Oh Fuck—Yes” he said

“Are you going to come in my mouth to show me how good I am?” you said keeping a fast pace

“Joder—keep going”

“mhmmm” you said mouth full of cock, hand doing circles around the bottom of his cock

“Me vas a hacer correr” (you’re going to make me come)

“Come in my mouth” you said quickly and kept sucking him off. You felt his cock getting harder in your mouth, Looking up, seeing his wet body and face, looking at him squeeze himself with his hands on his waist, grunting. It only took ten more seconds for him to fill your mouth and throat with all his thick juices, quiet groans in the air, you swallowed part of it and spat the other and licked his tip slowly, staring at him flinch from the intense feelings while you did. You loved having this power, making hard, making him come whenever you wanted, and the flattery that came after. “You are ridiculous” he said grabbing your face by your chin, part of it with his cum on it, and kissed you softly “I’ll take that as a compliment” you said afterward.

You stayed a while longer in bed after getting dressed, TV on but getting ignored by you both. You talked, made out in between conversations, put your hands on each other every moment you remembered this was temporary. You usually initiated the kissing, but he always kissed you back like a happy young man with his first girl, holding your face, or your neck, or your ass or your waist, fingers tracing the shape of your body. When you started feeling the heaviness of sleep crawling in you jumped up and said “I’m going back to my hotel room, I’m getting sleepy. it’s a five minute taxi ride but you know, it’s late” and walked to the door with him following you

“Ok, I’ll come by tomorrow to see you and say good-bye, okay?” he said walking you the door holding just one of your fingers with his hand.

You picked up the purse you had on a table near the door. You kissed him as to say goodbye you said, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Pep” and gave him a small smile before you left.

“Adiós, querida” he said as he closed the door behind you

The elevator ride down to the lobby had you thinking you liked him more than you should but you stretched your back and fixed your posture as you tried to reject this idea from your head. 

You let a small sigh come out of your mouth as the elevator doors opened. You couldn’t wait to see him tomorrow.

[mysunshinetemptress]

Here isy prompt for Charli grant anything with fluff

Here is my prompts for Kyra Cooney-cross anything with fluff

Here is my prompt Chloe kelly anything with angst but with a fluff and happy ending

Here is my prompt for Lauren hemp I would love anything with angst but a fluffy ending

Here is my prompt for jana fernandez anything with fluff

Here is my prompt for aitana bonmati anything with angst and sad to a fluff and happy ending

Here is my prompt for Bruna rivals to lovers theres my ideas

Good morning to me

Love all of these keeping me busy during the Christmas break

[maxsimagination]

guidelines

——

𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙞 𝙬𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚

i will not write anything along the lines of:

- (physical) abuse

- rape, or any non consensual relationships

- male!reader

- smut for specific players

- teams x teen!reader

- anything for anyone under the age of 18, even if it’s fluff

please note, these are just things that i am not comfortable writing! other writers may have different boundaries, but these are mine.

——

𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙞 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚

i am happy to write things along the lines of:

- fluff

- angst

- smut for most players (includes multiple players x reader)

——

𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙞 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧

players that i am not comfortable with writing smut for will be marked with a *

- sam kerr

- caitlin foord

- steph catley

- hayley raso

- katrina gorry

- mackenzie arnold

- alanna kennedy

- kyra cooney-cross *

- ellie carpenter *

-charlotte grant *

- mary fowler *

- lucy bronze

- millie bright

- alessia russo *

- guro reiten

- katie mccabe

- ona batlle

- mapi leon

- leah williamson

- elisa de almeida

- patri guijarro

- ingrid engen *

- alexia putellas

- zecira musovic

- fridolina rolfo *

- claudia piña

- kiera walsh *

- irene paredes

- georgia stanway

- jessie fleming

- kim little *

- lauren hemp *

- aitana bonmati *

- beth england

- leila ouahabi

- teagan micah

- misa rodríguez

if you have any ideas for any players listed above, please feel free to send me an ask. i will try my best to get it done.

© 𝙢𝙖𝙭𝙨𝙞𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 - 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘸𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘮𝘦. 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘱𝘺, 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘧𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘦𝘣𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘴, 𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘮 𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯!

[delfiore]

—MY DEAREST FRIEND AND ENEMY. (4/5)

pairing: ona batlle x fem!reader

synopsis: your start at barcelona is rockier than expected. luckily, you have ona there to support you through it.

word count: 4.3k

a/n: we're almost at the end guys final stretch!! this series is ending at part 5

PART I, PART II, PART III, PART V

“I forgot how fucking dreadful press days are.”

You had just returned home from an entire day of cameras shoved in your face and smiling until your cheeks hurt. It didn’t help that you were nervous as hell at a new club and country. To say your battery was spent was an understatement.

“Well then don’t get used to it, 'cause I’d be happy not to do any of the work that got you here,” Toni answered on the video call.

“Fuck off,” you laughed. “I wanna stay here for a while. So, no need to worry.”

“Good. You deserve it, Y/N. You’ll do great.”

“Thank you for all that you do, Tones. I don’t thank you enough for putting up with me and my bullshit.”

“You can thank me by becoming top scorer this season?”

You grinned, “We’ll see.”

There was a different expectation of being a Barcelona player. You were presumed to integrate yourself into a team of champions and help prolong the club’s success.

These were high expectations, and with them came intensive physical and technical training. You had to adapt to a new style of play, new players with different sets of skills, not to mention having to settle into a whole new footballing culture. But you were where you are because you never backed down from a challenge, and this one was no exception.

It certainly helped that there were people you have played with at the club—Lucy, Keira, and, of course, Ona.

You felt her eyes on you as you finished a sprint on the training ground, slightly self-conscious as you were already sloppy and perspiring just from the warmup.

“Need some water, Y/L/N? You’re not already sweating, are you?” Lucy teased as she jogged past with a ball at her feet.

You pointed at the glaring sun. “Just gotta get used to the weather.”

“Well, ya better get used to it fast ‘cause I’m not gonna wait for you to catch up,” the English defender said before nutmegging you with a cackle.

“Oh, you’re fucking on!”

The laughter caught Ona’s attention. She looked over and saw you and Lucy fighting the ball off each other, your giggles rolling like a child’s yet your movements were fluid and expertly as if you were on the pitch. She couldn’t help but smile as her eyes followed your form, energized and youthful, your skin glistening under the sun.

The ball rolled to her, and she stopped it when the sole of her feet, before passing it back to you. Your giggles died down as you took the ball in your hands and tossed it over to Lucy.

“Hey,” you said with a lingering beam.

“Hi,” she returned your smile.

She lingered, watching the smile never leave your face as you jogged—practically bounced—over to Coach. You were much happier here, it was apparent. How could you not, when there is sunshine all year round in Barcelona? She could only hope she wasn’t the one to rain on your parade.

During a physical training drill involving two people, you were paired with her. Something about similar height and body weight, but she could only think about the way you were panting from the heat, and how you chugged your water like a parched man in the middle of the desert.

“Ready?” She smirked, handing the elastic band to you.

You huffed with a grin and put the band around your waist. “Don’t hold back.”

“Not planning on it.”

Somewhere along the session, Ona had forgotten all about her worries. Something had changed in you, or maybe she had never known the real you at all; the playful and charismatic part of you that you weren’t using to charm her, but it was just the way you were with people. It made her rue not cherishing you as you were before, and letting you slip through her fingers.

You were sprawled out on the grass like a starfish, heaving from the strenuous session. Several of your teammates were also on the ground, some sitting, some lying down as you were, so you didn’t feel too bad about being absolutely destroyed.

“You getting up anytime soon, partner?” A figure blocked the beaming rays of the sun, a short relief from the heat.

“Keep gloating,” you groaned and stood up, pulling your shirt up to wipe the sweat from your face. You knew your plan was working when you spotted her looking at your abdomen, your skin glowing and contoured in the light.

Hardly hiding your smirk, you grabbed a bottle of water, feeling a strange tightness in your thigh just as the session was brought to an end.

“Everyone, gather around,” Mapi waved her hands. “We’re hosting a little party to celebrate a new season at ours. Saturday night, 7 o’clock, BYOB, and a potluck vibe. Whatever you can bring, okay?”

“As long as there won’t be another fire like last time, we’re all good,” said Rolfö with a smirk.

“That was one time, okay? And it wasn’t even that bad,” Mapi protested.

“It almost burned your pretty little face off,” Pina teased.

“Hey, you alright?” You heard Ona whisper next to you. She must have noticed the way you were grimacing and grabbing at the back of your leg.

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just feeling a little tight right here.” It was the spot in which your hamstring was injured a couple of years ago.

“Okay, let’s go to the physio,” Ona offered you her arm.

“Oh, it’s okay. I can find my way there.”

Ona hesitated. She suddenly realized how this must have looked for her; either an overly concerned and attentive teammate or an appropriately concerned and attentive lover.

“Do you . . . not want me to come with you?” She asked, her voice quiet and almost inaudible over Mapi frantically defending herself.

“Well, I . . . I don’t want to bother you.”

“It won’t be a bother,” she was astonished to know you thought you could ever bother her. “Promise.”

You nodded and walked with her to the physio quarters. All the while, Ona was walking a step behind you just in case you needed her assistance. When you arrived, a couple of the physios greeted you heartily in Catalan, and Ona was quick to jump in and translate when you looked at her for help.

“We’ve got a feeling this might happen, given her history with that hamstring injury. Tell her to lie down, I’ll have a look.”

You grimaced as the physio felt your thigh, digging his fingers into your flesh, your soft groans stirring a hidden part in Ona. There was a time when she was the one to dig her digits into your thighs. She knew you liked it when did because you would always make your pleasure known.

“He said you’ll be okay, Y/N. Just have to remember to stretch thoroughly before and after physical exercise.”

You sighed and pouted, as you rested your chin on your folded arms.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know. I just came to a new club, I don’t want this to slow me down,” you blew air out of your mouth. “I just don’t wanna let anyone down.”

“You won’t, Y/N,” Ona took a stool and sat in front of you. “I know any club would be happy to have you at 70%, much less at your full capacity.”

You smiled and shook your head. “Is this your attempt at making me feel better after everything?”

Ona stuttered, gawking at your comment. Your grin never faltered, and you tilted your head, taunting her.

“I guess I deserved that,” she chuckled quietly, feeling warmth creep up her cheeks.

“I’m just kidding, Ona. I wanna get past it, really,” your eyes softened. “It was causing unnecessary stress and . . . I don’t wanna feel like that anymore.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry—”

“No, please. Don’t apologize anymore. I know you’re sorry.”

“Okay, sorry,” she cringed as soon as it came out. “Okay.”

“I want us to start over. As friends.” You said, extending a hand towards her, dangling it in front of her face. “After all, I feel like we should at least be friendly if we’re playing on the same team now, right?”

She wanted nothing more than to scream in your face and tell her how much she wanted you, how much she wanted to wake up in the morning and find you in the bed next to her, to make you coffee and hold you and kiss you and tell everyone on the team about it because she would be so proud to be yours, to tell you that there hasn’t been a day since she left Manchester that she didn’t wish she could go back and tell you how she really felt.

Instead, she nodded and took your hand. “Yeah, okay.”

It wasn’t just her decision anymore, it never was. And yet, she decided anyway and had to live with it.

As the season rolled on, you found yourself slipping sometimes. You would think about Ona and the time you spent together, but you also cherished what you had now. You were teammates, but you were also friends. You supported and helped each other during training and matches, just as good teammates should. Maybe it was easier that way, but you yearned to be close to her again.

Keira insisted that the best thing you could do was to go on dates and go on dates you did. You went on so many dates in the span of a month that all the faces seemed to have blurred together. A couple of them became one-night stands, but none turned out to be anything meaningful, not when you only had one person in the back of your mind, hard as you tried not to act on them.

They reminded you of Leena, how shitty you handled the situation by basically fleeing the country. You had called her a few times, and left a few messages, wanting to talk and apologize, but none of them were answered. You tried her Instagram, but she had blocked you on there too. You didn’t blame her, and maybe reaching out now was only giving you the closure you needed to move on, but you wanted to do it because you believed Leena deserved an apology for everything she’s done for you.

So you texted Gio, letting him know what happened. He wasn’t pleased when you told him, not exactly liking that you had disrespected his friend, but agreed to pass a message along.

“Hello, Coach. Tough loss today. What do you think was the main factor in Barça’s defeat today?” “Well, it’s never fun to go through a loss, and we all have a lot of work to do. I can’t comment as to why we’ve lost—I’d have to watch it back—but we simply were not the better team today.” “What do you think of Y/N Y/L/N’s performance? There were several chances that she’s missed today, and she hasn’t made an impression at the club quite yet. Have you had any reassessments about this signing at all?” “To evaluate a player’s performance this early is simply unfair. Some players hit the ground running right away, but some don’t. It doesn’t mean they are doomed. Y/N has shown time and time again that she is a world-class player, and I have full faith that she will become an integral part of our squad.”

Barcelona hadn’t won in five games. It was starting to worry the board. You knew it was a team sport, and that if you lost, it meant multiple people were doing something wrong. But you started all five of those games, and you missed a lot of chances and passes. It made you think it was your fault somehow.

You turned off the press conference you were watching of Jonatan’s. Even though he didn’t show it, you knew he was stressed, trying to find a fault in the system. You wished you knew the answer, but you didn’t, because you were trying your best and it still didn’t seem to be good enough.

“Alright, girls.” Alexia clapped her hands together as she stood in the middle of the dressing room. “We lost. Big deal. Feel the sting, and let it pass over you. If you don’t, we might as well just give up on the title now. We can’t do that. We’re champions. The reason why we are is that we are strong enough to get back up, time and time again. That’s what makes us champions.”

Your eyes darted toward Ona sitting across the dressing room with her head in her hands. There were two goals out of the four the team conceded that came from the right flank, where Ona was covering. The moment those goals hit the net, you had the urge to yell, but seeing the way her shoulders sagged as she dejectedly looked away absolved you of any anger you felt.

You remembered the nights you spent consoling her over losses that could have gone either way. She blamed herself for every defeat she had suffered, finding every fault that she had contributed to, and today was no different.

“Hey,” you knelt in front of her.

She looked up at you, and you knew she had been crying from how red her face was.

You offered her a sad smile. “Look around you. There’s something worse than being sad, and that’s being alone and sad. You’re not alone.”

Placing a firm hand on her knee, you rubbed her skin softly. She laughed quietly, and you remembered how it was to kiss her. It was so long ago, but the traces of it still haunted you before you closed your eyes at night. It wouldn’t be good for either of you now. Plus, everyone was here.

“Did you just quote Ted Lasso at me?”

“Yeah, but he ain’t wrong.”

Looking around the room at the sullen faces of your teammates, you couldn’t help but feel grateful that they were all here, united by the same emotions. But you still couldn’t shake that gnawing feeling in your stomach that you might have been the problem. The moment you came to the club, Barcelona went on its worst streak in years? Was it the inevitability of a club’s success running its course, or that you had come in and fucked it all up? You knew the answer, of course, and you hated the anxiety that followed.

But you were Y/N Y/L/N, and you never backed down from a challenge, and it wouldn’t be fun if there were none.

It felt like everything you were doing, it was all wrong. Jonatan had sent you in to utilize your dribbling, but you felt like every time you tried, the opposition would mercilessly cut you off. You felt helpless, seeing the way your teammates attempted to hide how annoyed they were you had lost possession again, this time from a quick pass to the flank from Aitana. You were subbed off halfway through the second half to make way for Salma, who managed to salvage a point with an equalizer later in the game.

You sat on the bench, watching your teammates fight on, feeling dejected and trying not to cry before you could get to the dressing room. Patri, who had also been subbed off, put her arm on your shoulder and rubbed it soothingly.

Whilst you were coming off, you heard boos coming from the stands, from Barça fans, calling you names, telling you to go back where you came from. You bit your lip, and kept your head down, so people wouldn’t see your tears and make fun of them too.

You excused yourself at the final whistle to find a bathroom you could hide in. Why was it so hard for you to receive those passes? You had never had trouble with passing before.

Looking in the mirror, you saw a face looking back with pity. But it wasn’t you, not really. It was the insecure child you were years ago, the one whose ambitions were driven by fear of abandonment. Her eyes were brimming with tears, her bottom lip jutting out and quivering, her chest rose and fell like she awaited the world to close in on her and swallow her whole.

Your breathing picked up, and you started pacing back and forth, breathing heavily out of your mouth. Your hands shook as you mumbled to yourself to get your shit together. The breaths you drew grew faster and shallower until you sunk to your knees on the cold tiles and wept. You didn’t know how long you were there. It could have been minutes, or hours until two arms wrapped around you tightly.

You looked up, panicked, but it was just Ona. Still, you stood up and walked away from her attempting to hide your tear-stained face, but she insisted, pulling you into her.

“It’s okay, Y/N.” She said, over and over. “Look at me.”

So you looked. You were so tired of fighting, you just wanted to go home. Her eyes darted back and forth between yours, hard at first trying to get you to stop being stubborn, but then they softened, seeing you fall apart like this.

“This feels oddly familiar, doesn’t it?” She said.

You sniffled, and let out a tearful laugh before launching yourself into her arms. She stood there holding you while you cried until you were too tired to continue.

Winter could have come and gone in Barcelona and you would have never noticed. Still, the Catalans were big on Christmas, at least the ones you knew were. Everyone had been talking about their holiday plans, much of it involved big dinners surrounded by family and/or drinking until you passed out, but you thought about the vacation you would be taking somewhere warm. Mexico perhaps, the Maldives, or back to good ol’ Ibiza.

So when Ona invited you to come back to Vilassar de Mar to spend Christmas with her and her family, you had an important decision to make. You knew how it looked, but things were far from how they appeared between you. After that game away, you had found it easier to confide in Ona about things; little things, big things, it didn’t matter, Ona was always there to listen. In return, you lent her your ears and maybe a shoulder to lean on. You had almost become something like friends.

Ona’s childhood home was no grand castle, but it was warm and loving. Her parents and brother greeted you like you were family right from the moment you stepped through the door, taking your suitcase and jacket from you. Her father, claiming to be a big fan of yours, asked for your autograph and you could only happily indulge him.

“Please, our home is yours,” her mother said, leading you inside.

“Told you they could be a lot,” Ona murmured with a grin.

“What do you mean? I’m being treated like royalty! I’m not complaining,” you smirked and she rolled her eyes.

Her mother led you and Ona to her childhood bedroom, a small room littered with posters and trophies sitting on a shelf at the foot of her bed.

Just then, her mother gasped quietly as if remembering something, and spoke to Ona in Spanish. She stuttered for a few seconds, then turned to you. “My mom’s saying you could take this room and I’ll sleep in Joan’s. He’ll take the couch if that’s—”

“Oh, no, no, please. I feel bad enough that you guys are hosting me, I can’t just kick your brother out of his room.” You shook your head quickly. “I could sleep here if that’s okay.”

Ona nodded gingerly and relayed the message to her mother, who was fully understanding and left you both to unpack.

The door clicked shut, and you looked over to Ona, who had lifted the corner of her mouth looking back at you.

Aitana came to visit on the 23rd, claiming it was always a treat to hang at the Batlles because she always leaves well-fed. You could attest to that, as the dinners they served you were mouth-watering, and you found yourself thinking about the next one the moment you opened your eyes in the morning.

You had helped Ona’s mom with juicing some lemonade to bring out to everyone relaxing in the backyard or—in Ona and Aitana’s case—passing a football around. Quickly setting the lemonade down on the table—much to Mrs. Batlle’s dismay—you sprinted towards the girls and took the ball from Ona’s feet.

She stuck her tongue out at you and walked towards the table, taking a glass of lemonade for herself.

“Would it be so hard to admit to what you’re both denying yourself?”

You chuckled quietly at Aitana’s words. “It feels more like deprivation than denial.”

“Ona loves you, Y/N.” She said, watching Ona on the other side of the yard conversing with her brother.

“Did she tell you that?”

“I’ve known the girl ever since we were 15,” she shrugged. “And yes, she cried to me last year about you.”

You chuckled. “Well, the feeling is definitely mutual.”

“But . . . ?”

You glanced at her and sent a wordless smile, plopping your sunglasses back on before joining the Batlles for their daily lemonade. Aitana watched you to the table, picking up on Ona quickly handing you a glass, and brushing hair out of your eyes as you drank. Idiots, she thought, the both of them.

Looking back, there was not a single moment during your time in Vilassar de Mar that you weren’t holding your breath every time you were in the same room as Ona. It made you seek out her mom, and hang with her more than you did with Ona. You were also able to pick up some more Spanish, as it was the only way you could effectively communicate with her. You didn’t want to toot your own horn, but her mom did call you an aprendiz rápida, a fast learner.

“Your parents have outdone themselves once again,” you said, leaning against the window. “I wish I grew up with the stuff you guys eat here. Christmas would be so much more fun.”

“Did you like the caga tío too?” Ona grinned and took a seat on the edge of the bed.

“Best thing ever. It poops nougat!” You said excitedly and shook your head.

As your laughter died down, you could hear slurred singing and laughing outside the window somewhere down the street.

“I can’t remember the last time I was this happy,” you said, a ghost of a smile remaining on your lips.

Ona looked out the window, smiling too. “It’s why I always go home whenever I feel down. If I can’t go home, I’ll bring my family to me.” She was sitting next to you now, her arms folded and propped on her thighs. “You’re always welcome to visit. I’m sure they love you more than they love me now.”

“Well, I’d be surprised if they could resist my charm,” you grinned and pushed her shoulder. “I envy you, Ona. Your family’s fantastic.”

“You’ve never told me about your family before,” she said.

“Because there’s nothing to tell,” you shrugged. “Mom and Dad never really cared about me anyway. The only good thing they did for me was sign me up for football and let me leave home to go to my youth club.

They used to go to my games because they were obligated to. The moment I turned 18, they never felt the need. Sometimes I just want to win a game, then look into the stands and see them wearing my shirt, cheering me on, be proud of me.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Ona offered, bumping her knee against your own.

“Don’t be. If they’re not, you shouldn’t be,” you smiled sadly.

Your gaze shifted to her face, seeing the way she studied you, just like that day in the tunnel. Ona was an observer, and it was apparent whenever she was. It was why she was so good at the game; she absorbed like a sponge and repeated what she learned like it was nothing.

Her eyes darted back and forth between your own, and you smiled, watching her nuzzle into her arm, yet leaning in ever so gently.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

“Is this wise?” You raised an eyebrow at her, grinning.

“No,” her voice came out as barely a whisper, “but I know it’s not wrong.”

She was right. It shouldn’t be wrong to feel the way you did. From the beginning, it’s always been her.

You were depriving yourself of the one missing piece in your life, but you were afraid of getting hurt again. But you wanted to be loved so badly, and you didn’t want anyone else.