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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 6 months

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By: Alta Ifland

Published: Mar 25, 2024

Most of us have had at least once in a lifetime the experience of paradise when a place seems suddenly transfigured and elevated to an otherworldly realm. I experienced paradise in Iceland’s Reykjavik Airport in September 1991, where the plane that took me as a political refugee from Romania to the United States stopped for a couple of hours for a layover. It was the first time I had left my country of birth, and Reykjavik’s airport was my first contact with the West. I remember entering spaces that made me think of Aladdin’s cave of wonders, where under transparent glass lay mesmerizing diamond necklaces, and gorgeous saleswomen with seducing smiles inviting me to try them on; and I remember the impeccable marble-white restrooms like an alien spaceship with curious buttons I had no idea how to maneuver. Everything was clean, as if under the care of a doting fairy, and everybody smiled quietly as if life was a streak of uninterrupted joy.

I went back to Reykjavik for a literary conference twenty years later, but I could no longer find paradise. The diamond necklaces had no sparkle, Aladdin’s cave turned out to be a banal store, the women were like everywhere else, and the toilets nothing to write home about. The gap between the two experiences paralleled my first encounter with JFK Airport in New York, where—having to wait for my connecting flight to Jacksonville, Florida—I wandered for several hours among a hustle and bustle of people, stores, restaurants, buses and taxis, convinced that I was exploring the city itself. I mean, who in their right mind would imagine that they could find all of the above in an airport? It was only years later when I returned to New York that I realized that all I had seen of the city was, in fact, the airport.

These two primal encounters have left me with a lifelong love of airports, although life post-9/11 has considerably altered the experience. But the impression that our existence is made of two irreconcilable universes remained for a long time until, roughly, the advent of social media, which managed to unite the two into one indistinguishable blur and a chorus of mingled, screaming voices. Having spent my life between different worlds, I’m fascinated by the different frameworks people can place around the same events, according to the point of view given to them by their location in time and space.

As newly-arrived immigrants, my then-husband and I naturally gravitated toward other immigrants from Eastern Europe, and since they often went to church—which was, anyhow, the only socializing venue in Jacksonville (a city immortalized by Henry Miller in The Air-Conditioned Nightmare as a soul-killing locale)—we found ourselves for two years in the strange company of puritan evangelicals. After this edifying experience, my admission to an M.A. program at the University of Florida threw me into an environment that seemed completely opposite to the previous one, as if America were made of two separate worlds with two different types of people. Both types were a shock because they didn’t resemble the Americans I had known from the movies I’d seen—neither the neighbors who asked our Romanian friends to cover the non-existent breasts of their five-year-old daughter at the pool, nor my professors from the English department who joyfully professed their Communist and Marxist convictions to a roomful of sympathetic ears.

I cannot forget one professor who praised Mao’s “cultural revolution”—to this day I have no idea whether he was aware that millions had died as a result of this “revolution,” and that many Chinese in rural areas were so starved that they ate their own children.

It was clear to me that these academics knew nothing about the world I came from, which was, again, shocking, given that I knew a lot more about their world even though the country I grew up in was so isolated from the West that we used to refer to it as “outside.” I was the one who grew up in a prison, yet it was American academics who were the ignorant ones.

Growing up in Communist Romania, I read many American classics (the first book I read at eight years old was Mark Twain’s The Adventures of Tom Sawyer) and watched countless American movies. On the other hand, my American counterparts never read any books by Romanians (though I am not arrogant enough to demand that) or by Eastern Europeans generally, and rarely watched any European movies, let alone Eastern European movies. Yet these people who were clearly ignorant about my world were not shy about letting me know that what I experienced was not “real” Communism and that they—who had never set foot in a Communist country—were much better positioned to define Communism. How was that possible?

Let me tell you what nobody teaches Americans about the part of the world I come from.

For years, whenever I drove on one of America’s ten-lane highways, it felt impossible that this world existed in the same historical era as the world of my grandparents. I don’t have any photos of my paternal grandparents because in Communist Romania very few of us owned cameras. But they have remained etched in my mind in a way that makes them immortal, eternally old, as if their dark faces had always been crossed by deep ridges—the kind of faces only Indians (as we called them back then) had in black and white Hollywood movies, their feet always bare and so thick with calluses that when they washed them at night you could see the solidified dirt like mortar between brick-like layers of skin. They never used soap yet they had a drawer full of it, every single piece sent or brought by my father from the city. For them, soap was the equivalent of expensive jewelry, which Grandmother occasionally showed me, opening the drawer with pride: “See? Your father sent them. I keep them all.”

My grandparents lived in a world in which there was no money—I mean, there was no exchange of money, save for the rare occasions when Father gave them a few coins to buy bread. I remember walking with Grandfather unending kilometers through a sea of yellow corn until we reemerged in the world of the living, and Grandfather took out a handkerchief with a complicated knot that he untied to free the coins in exchange for the loaf of bread handed to him by the store clerk at the edge of the cornfield. But this type of exchange happened rarely. Usually, we ate hard polenta, the default everyday meal of Romanian peasants. We ate it either as a substitute for bread, which my grandparents usually couldn’t afford, or else as a meal immersed in a bowl of milk, one bowl for the entire table, inside of which our spoons often met, clanking.

My grandparents lived in the same way their ancestors had for generations in that part of the world: the province of Oltenia in Southern Romania. The only thing that had changed was that they were no longer periodically invaded by the Turks. The stove Grandmother used for cooking was like none other I’d seen except in films about remote indigenous populations—an oval-shaped structure of whitewashed clay set on the ground, with an opening through which one could glimpse the burning twigs, and atop, simmering pots full of aromatic dishes. In front of the stove, wearing her long Gypsy-like dress and stirring the pots, was seated Grandmother on a tiny chair, it too from a different world—about twenty inches high, with only three legs.

My grandparents’ village is where I spent my summers until I finished high school. During the school year, I lived with my parents in a small town in Transylvania in one of the countless intensely ugly Soviet-style flats. The grade school I went to was five minutes away on foot—since first grade, we all went on foot everywhere, unsupervised, and had the apartment key tied on a cord around our neck (apparently, today’s Romanians call us “the generation with the key by the neck”). Needless to say, we came back home on our own, warmed up the food prepared by our mothers, and were responsible for the supervision of our younger siblings until our parents came home from work.

My classmates were mostly children of factory workers and public office clerks; many of these parents had never finished high school and those with university diplomas were rare. Under Communism there was almost no middle class, and for a simple reason: the majority of people who had been part of it (university professors, politicians, economists, sociologists, priests, artists, writers, journalists, etc.) had been imprisoned, tortured and murdered.

Their guilt? They were all “enemies of the people,” the “people” being defined as dirt-poor peasants and what Marx called “the “proletariat.” Neither of my parents had college degrees. My father, whose parents were illiterate, never read a book; my mother, whose father was a chiabur (a farmer who paid for the sin of once owning land by spending a year in prison and having his eldest daughter refused admission to high school), used to read and over the years acquired a small library of Romanian, French, and English classics which I read dozens of times. After I finished reading our library, I began to explore the local libraries. With my best friend, whose parents were construction workers and morbid alcoholics, we took weekly trips to a library where the books were so yellowed and old they fell apart, and returned with a huge travel bag full of books. Without any guidance, we discovered many of the great classics: Sartre, Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, Cervantes, Gide, Flaubert, Zweig, Twain, Dickens—we read them all, entirely unaware that they were “great writers,” because no one had lectured us on their greatness. In our isolated world, we had a great advantage over children growing up in Western countries: we could discover the world with our own minds and in our own words.

When I say we had an “advantage,” don’t imagine that I'm glorifying the “system” in which we grew up. The world in which we were reading these books had the following characteristics: long lines to buy anything, major food items (sugar, oil, coffee, flour, butter) rationed and hard to find, hygiene products (soap, feminine products, toothpaste) entirely absent, winters without heat spent with our coats on inside our homes, electricity two hours a day, a single TV channel with most of its programs being delirious political propaganda, water cut off for days and sometimes weeks. In order to survive most city dwellers had to use the black market, where you could buy a pair of jeans for the cost of a monthly salary. For reference, my parents’ incomes combined totaled about eighty dollars per month.

In school we studied French. Without anyone’s exhortation and only the help of a dictionary, I soon began to read French classics for my own pleasure: Mérimée, Gide, Zola, Martin du Gard, Dumas, everything I could find. I was the best student in my grade in French, so I decided to major in it. In order to be admitted to college one needed to pass a very difficult exam in one’s specialty, and there were only about twenty positions for French students per university with just a handful of universities in the entire country. The majority of applicants able to pass the exam were either children of university professors or students from preparatory high schools. Given these circumstances, my teachers, neighbors, and parents all insisted that I should study engineering like everybody else and told me I was crazy to even consider French. Yet I persisted and passed the exam with the highest possible grade. While in college, during an internship where I worked as an assistant French teacher in a high school, I attended a class where the lead teacher introduced French food to the students, and after several minutes of hearing descriptions of baguettes, brie, camembert, and the like, one of them fainted. For us, this food was like fiction—not only had we never tasted it, we couldn’t even imagine that we would ever see it outside of a book. We were hungry and cold all the time, yet whenever we’d turn on the TV all we'd hear was that we lived in a “golden era”—the regime’s official language—for which we’d have to thank the Communist Party and its General Secretary, Comrade Nicolae Ceaușescu. All the country’s institutions held regular meetings where everybody, using a language of thought-terminating clichés which we called “wooden language,” had to massage the ego of the “Dear Leader” who made such an era possible. In this language, Ceaușescu was a “skilled helmsman,” a “beloved parent,” and “the exploitation of man by man” had been forever abolished.

During this "golden era” of Communism, when I was barely twenty-one, I got blacklisted as a “person very dangerous for the security of the state” because I had married a dissident. You see, in Communism, the entire family paid for the deeds of any of its members, including those of the dead ones. My husband’s main guilt was that he was the brother of a famous Romanian journalist who worked abroad for one of the Western radio stations that condemned the injustices of Communism. To understand why this was considered a crime, you need to know that the first thing Ceaușescu did every day was read a report on what had been said about him the previous day.

Since his fate was already sealed and he wasn’t even allowed to go to college, my husband and a few friends tried to create a political party that would have been an alternative to the only official one. Needless to say in a country where one in four citizens was an informant, they were quickly apprehended and subjected to harsh interrogations. This happened before my husband and I met; him being too traumatized to talk about it, I found out from his parents how he had been imprisoned and cruelly beaten. After we got married, he signed a petition demanding that the regime stop the demolition of villages and churches, a project Ceaușescu had started because he realized that the traditional rural lifestyle still gave people some independence. Consequently, Ceaușescu put us under 24-hour surveillance, with a car constantly parked in front of our building. We were young and foolish, and so we made fun of the unending series of spies who were struggling to remain inconspicuous every time we went out and they followed us. Sometimes we mocked them overtly, laughing out loud as we hopped on a bus, while they remained outside, but it was a dangerous game: you never knew when an “accident” could happen.

One afternoon, an individual in a black leather jacket got out of the car parked in front of our building while holding an envelope in his hand, entered for a few seconds, then returned with his hand empty. We didn’t keep the letter that my husband had retrieved from our mailbox because it made him so furious he tore it to pieces. The letter warned that “some people” might want to hurt me badly. The police summoned me a few days later to their headquarters for an undisclosed matter, with my husband forced to wait outside. Nothing horrible happened to me that day, save for the fact that I was asked to wait for several hours while my husband remained outside, not knowing when—or if—I was going to come out. When I was finally brought into an office, the officer informed me in a performatively worried tone that “some people” wanted to hurt me, and he wanted to make me aware of this danger.

This is how we lived for about two years until the anti-Communist Revolution from December 1989 swept the dictator and his clique away.

In the first week after the dictator was killed a member of the newly formed Front of the National Salute—the revolutionary organization that replaced the Communist Party and of which my husband was briefly a member—came to our home to uninstall a microphone that the Securitate (the Secret Police) had hidden behind our bed.

It took another quarter of a century until my husband was allowed to see the file the Secret Police had on us. It contained two thousand pages of content produced through the coordinated efforts of dozens of individuals and tens of thousands of dollars spent every month on our surveillance—in a country in which the average income was forty dollars. It also included the names of the “friends" who had informed on us—some of which we’d already guessed, others, a surprise. Our Secret Police file remained open until December 1991, that is, two years after the regime had fallen, and three months after we had left the country for America.

I left the building where my parents lived almost forty years ago, but when I last visited, some of the neighbors I had growing up were still there. Imagine passing by an old man who looks twenty years older than you, and then remembering that you had a crush on him when you were twelve and he was fourteen. The grey Soviet flats have remained unchanged, but in a certain way give you the reassuring feeling that time stands still and there's a continuity between generations—something absent in ever-changing American society.

While the memory of life in the small town of my childhood is ambivalently hazy, when I remember the rural world of my grandparents a wave of nostalgia washes over me. The three-legged wobbling chairs, the haystack above the cow barn where I used to read, even the short-lived doll made of rags that a friend from across the street had taught me how to make, ephemeral as she was, is now bathed in a golden aura of longing for a lost world.

[ Photos of Alta's grandparent's home, taken during a recent visit to Romania. On the left is the cow barn where Alta used to read. ]

I sometimes look at the children of my American friends, with their room full of toys, and I know that their toys don’t make them any happier than my rag doll had made me. And I know that my American female friends, emancipated as they are from the “patriarchy,” aren’t happier than Grandmother. In all traditional societies, labor is organized according to the existence of the two sexes and this has nothing to do with anyone’s “oppression.” Men do some things, women do other things—it's simply a division of labor based on physical differences between the two, and it’s a division that can be observed across cultures and millennia. According to all statistics and their own statements, it’s obvious that many American women are in profound disharmony with themselves and the world in which they live. And this is certainly not because the world in which Grandmother lived was better—although I am wondering more and more whether it was much worse.

The first thing you need to be unhappy is to ask yourself whether you are happy or not—Unlike American women, I am convinced that this is a question Grandmother never asked herself.

Grandmother, just like her mother and her mother’s mother, lived in a way that imitated the lives of previous generations, in an entanglement with “tradition”—the dirty word that American feminists and progressives utter with so much disdain and which they translate as “oppression” and “victimization.” I often try to imagine what Grandmother would have answered had I told her that she was “oppressed” by the patriarchy in particular and society in general. I think she would have had a hard time understanding the concept. You see, it’s hard to feel “oppressed” when you have inner freedom. Aside from this, nobody in the world of my grandparents thought in these terms because in traditional societies it is shameful to be a victim. Only in a world of privilege can victimhood acquire a desirable status. I call this the law of subliminal contradiction, something I discovered by observing how Americans behave. Another example: only in a society of excess can the richest people dress in a way that imitates the homeless. In the society of poverty in which I grew up, it was shameful to wear torn-apart clothes; on the other hand, if you look at the way most well-to-do Americans are dressed today, you’d think they live on the street. Consider high fashion clothing that gives the illusion of poverty and manual labor, like mud-splashes and rips on jeans.

Today I write these lines from France, in my second exile. And many things have changed! My husband is now my ex-husband; he has returned to Romania, and I to Europe. My best friend with whom I used to explore libraries and books, and who grew up in a one-bedroom apartment with two parents, a grandmother, an older sister, and her daughter, and who at ten years old was forced by circumstances to take care of the entire household while her father lay drunk in a ditch and her mother worked on construction sites, is now a doctor and owner of a major medical lab. Unlike my American acquaintances, she never saw herself as a “victim” of anything. When I came to this country as a political refugee over thirty years ago, the thing that most impressed me about Americans was that they were very responsible and resilient. Thirty years later this country has been turned upside-down. But the truth is that the signs and the seeds of this reversal were already present thirty years ago, mostly in one particular space: academia.

The rare Marxists from back then are now the norm (although many traditional Marxists point out that, unlike American academics, Marx was never concerned with “race and gender”). They are the people who call Putin “right-wing,” as if he'd been schooled by the Republican Party rather than the Communist Party, whose Secret Police he represented as an officer of the KGB. The reason Putin is “right-wing” is because he’s a nationalist and anti-LGBT—but if these academics had read any books from my part of the world, they’d know that every single Communist country was ultra-nationalist and homophobic. In Communist Romania you could go to prison for twenty years for being a homosexual. Putin may no longer be a “Communist” because the gifts of the Capital are way too sweet, but his authoritarianism is rooted in Communism nonetheless, and his homophobia has nothing to do with being “right-wing” unless you project a Western value system onto a completely different world in which the categories of Left and Right merge.

After you’ve experienced the clichés of Communist propaganda, you can easily spot the mental structures underlying the impulse to reduce the complexity of the world down to one huge power struggle in which everybody is either an oppressor or a victim. This is why having lived through Communism has become very useful in contemporary America, and it's why the few of us who denounced the insanity of Communism when it could have cost our lives won’t keep our mouths shut now that America is losing its mind. For instance, the concept of “reparations” based on inherited collective guilt is eerily similar to the Communist practice of punishing an entire family for the deeds of any of its members, including the dead. Just like the “Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion” activists who are being paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to lecture you, the Communists created a privileged class called the “nomenklatura”—Party activists who did nothing but spread ideology and propaganda, making sure that the rest of us conformed to the official dogma. One trait of people who create dogmatic ideologies is that they never feel obligated to obey their own dogma—if they did, they would have to cancel their own privilege.

Because history is always written from one point of view, being an American academic often comes with the privilege of (re)writing history. And in an Americentric world, these academics look at everything through the lens of their own history, which they project onto everybody else. When have you ever heard academics from English departments and Women/Gender/Ethnic Studies—who have been teaching generations of students about the evils of European colonization—denounce the colonization of Eastern Europe by the Russians and by the Turks? It’s as if 500 years of history—the history of the Ottoman Empire—never existed. Or as if Russia started its colonial history with the invasion of Ukraine.

According to these academics, being European is equivalent to having a mysterious essence called “whiteness,” and I should repent for my “white privilege” and Europe’s colonial history, as if my “white” ancestors had colonized anyone and not the other way around, or as if they had enslaved “brown” Muslims and not the other way around.

Let me tell you an anecdote about how I was made to pay for my “white privilege.” You may remember the brouhaha after the poem performed by the young, black author, Amanda Gorman, at Biden’s inauguration, was commissioned to be translated into Dutch not by another black woman, but by a white person. This white person happened to be Marieke Lukas Rijneveld, who identifies as “non-binary” and is a few years older than Gorman. After a complaint that the chosen translator was not black, the translator withdrew from the project and the publisher issued a public apology—never mind that it was Gorman herself who had chosen the translator and that it’s quite likely that there aren’t many black translators who translate into Dutch and have Rijneveld’s literary skills. I know this because I had read Rijneveld’s award-winning book translated into English and recommended it on social media. When the scandal broke, many American translators—some of whom I was personally acquainted with through my work as a translator—commented on the affair online, supporting the decision to replace the white translator with a black translator. In response, I dared to share the comment of a French member of PEN, who believed that skin color should have nothing to do with who translates what. I accompanied this comment with my own: “I think that, this being a forum of translators, we should give a voice to different opinions from other languages.” I was subjected to a pile-on of virulent attacks, summoned to delete my “inflammatory” remarks, and it was made clear to me that my opinion could only be the result of my “white privilege” because I was (I'm not kidding you) a “cultural essentialist.” The cherry on top was that I was also called a “transphobe” because I had “misgendered” Rijneveld—the irony being that I was the only one in that group who had actually read and supported the “non-binary” author. I left these discussions after it was clear that I didn’t have the “revolutionary consciousness” to belong.

The fact is that nothing—and certainly not “white privilege” or any kind of “systemic” anything—is stopping anyone in America from learning languages and translating. When I was a graduate student in French at the University of Florida, my black classmate had spent time in France, just like everybody else in our program. I was the only one who had never been to France. Yet if I could learn French while believing that I would never see France because traveling to Western Europe was, for a Romanian of my station, as impossible as going to Mars, then any American—black, blue, or purple—can do it.

Privilege is a funny thing, especially in a society in which being a victim grants the highest social status. I for one prefer to assume the privilege of having experienced both Communism and life as an immigrant—a privilege America’s social justice warriors will never have—because it has taught me that you can be free under the worst dictatorship and a slave to groupthink in the freest of worlds.

#SmashCapitalism

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#Alta Ifland #We The Black Sheep #communism #capitalism #smash capitalism #Marxism #late stage Marxism #Communist Party #religion is a mental illness

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whencyclopedia · 1 year

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Manila Galleon

The Manila galleons were Spanish treasure ships which transported precious goods like silk, spices, and porcelain from Manila in the Philippines to Acapulco, Mexico, between 1565 and 1815. The Atlantic treasure fleets then shipped some of these goods – along with silver, gold, and other precious materials extracted from the Americas – on to Spain. The Manila galleons, meanwhile, returned to the Philippines each year loaded with silver to buy more goods for the next trip. Manila galleons going in either direction were a floating Aladdin's cave of treasures and so they tempted many a pirate and privateer but, such was their armament, only four were ever captured at sea.

Learn more about Manila Galleon

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storyvault · 8 months

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ofcacthuxandkylosaur · 4 years

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My Big Kylux AUs Tag List (part 1)

ABOUT

Go here to find an INDEX of every lists (including all thematic lists)

All AU’s

+ Others AU (All the non-featured below AUs)

ABO AU

Actors [both] AU {combines:}

Actor Hux AU

Actor Kylo AU

Addams Family (the) AU

Adopting Rey AU (also see Parents AU)

Adventure Time AU

Agents [both] AU {combines:}

Agent Hux AU

Agent Kylo AU

AI Hux AU (also see Droid Hux AU)

AI Kylo AU (also see Droid Kylo AU)

Airline AU

Aladdin AU

Alien (film) AU [or see Alien Spices Hux AU]

Alien Spices Hux AU

Alternative Script (Colin Trevorrow) AU

Amnesia AU

Among Us AU

Anastasia AU

Animal Crossing AU

Ancient China AU

Ancient Egypt AU

Ancient Greece AU

Ancient Japan AU {includes Samurai AU}

Ancient Rome AU

Angels [both] AU {combines:}

Angel Hux AU {includes Fallen Angel Hux AU}

Angel Kylo AU {includes Fallen Angel Kylo AU}

Animal Shelter AU [see Animal Welfare AU]

Animal Welfare AU

Anime Club AU

Antlers AU

Apocalyptic AU [see Post Apocalyptic AU]

Archeology AU {except for Indiana Jones AU}

Arranged marriage AU

Art School AU (also see Artist Hux AU, Artist Kylo AU and Uni AU)

Artists [both] AU {combines:}

Artist Hux AU {except for Tattoo Artist Hux AU} (also see Art School AU)

Artist Kylo AU {except for Tattoo Artist Kylo AU} (also see Art School AU)

Assassins [both] AU {combines:}

Assassin Hux AU

Assassin Kylo AU

Assassin’s Creed AU (also see Assassins AU, Assassin Hux AU and Assassin Kylo AU)

Astronauts AU

Avatar AU

Back to the Future AU {part of Time Travel AU}

Bakery AU {includes Great British Bake Off (the) AU}

Ballet AU {part of Dancers AU}

Band AU {includes Black Metal AU} {part of Musicians AU}

Bartender Hux AU

Bartender Kylo AU

Baseball AU

Basketball AU

Batman AU {part of DC AU}

Battle Droid R-E-N AU {part of Droid Kylo AU}

Bear Driftwood AU [see Pacific Northwest Fairytale AU]

Beauty and the Beast AU

Beetlejuice AU

Belly Dancer Kylo AU {part of Dancers AU}

Big Brothers AU

Birds AU {except for Hawk Hux AU and Raven Kylo AU}

Biker AU

Black Metal AU {part of Band AU}

Blade Runner AU {includes Blade Runner 2049 AU}

Blade Runner 2049 AU {part of Blade Runner AU}

Blind Kylo AU

Bloggers AU

Bloodborne AU {part of Fantasy AU}

Bodyguard Hux AU

Bodyguard Kylo AU

Body Swap AU

Book Shop AU

Bounty Hunters [both] AU {combines:}

Bounty Hunter Hux AU

Bounty Hunter Kylo AU

Boxer Hux AU

Boxer Kylo AU

Boyscout AU {includes Moonrise Kingdom AU}

Breakfast Club AU {part of High school AU}

Brooklyn AU

Brother Bear AU

Bunnies [both] AU {combines:}

Bunny Hux AU

Bunny Kylo AU

Burberry AU [see Tailor Hux AU]

Businessmen AU [see Office AU or Suit Porn AU]

Butler Hux AU

Call Me by Your Name AU

Camping AU (also see Summer Camp AU)

Canadian AU (also see Hockey AU)

Canto Bright Casino AU

Captain America AU {part of Marvel AU}

Cardinals AU [see Vatican AU]

Cats [both] AU {combines:}

Cat Hux AU

Cat Kylo AU

Cavemen AU

Caving AU

Celtic AU (also see Vikings AU)

Celtic Mythology AU {includes Irish Mythology AU and Scottish Mythology AU} {part of Mythology AU}

Centaurs [both] AU {combines:} {part of Greek Mythology AU}

Centaur Hux AU

Centaur Kylo AU

Chancellor Hux AU

Chef AU

Children Wake Up AU {parted from Fugitives AU}

Chinchilla AU

Cinderella AU

Chinese Mythology AU {part of Mythology AU}

Circus AU {includes Greatest Showman (the) AU}

Classical music AU [see Orchestra AU]

Clone Hux AU

Coffee Shop AU

College AU [see Uni AU]

Coraline AU

Cowboys AU [see Western AU]

Crow Kylo AU [see Raven Kylo AU]

Cruise AU {except for Titanic AU}

Cryptids AU (also see X-Files AU)

Cyberpunk AU {includes Neon AU} (also see Cyborg Hux AU, Cyborg Kylo AU, Droids [both] AU, Droid Hux AU and Droid Kylo AU)

Cyborg Hux AU [or see Droid Hux AU]

Cyborg Kylo AU [or see Droid Kylo AU]

–> D - F (part 2)

–> G - L (part 3)

–> M - R (part 4)

–> S - Z + # (part 5)

#kylux au #kylux #kylux tag list #my big tag list #tag list #alphabetical tag list #my tag lists

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themarktwainblog · 4 years

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The Adventures of Tom Sawyer- Themes:

This is the story of a mischievous boy living in a small mid-west American town in the mid 19th century. He keeps getting into trouble and finding his way out of it again. Some of the novel is about Tom’s romance with Becky Thatcher, a new girl in town. They like each other and experience relationship problems, which are eventually resolved. Tom hooks up Huckleberry Finn, the son of the town drunk. One night they sneak out to a graveyard where they see Injun Joe murdering Dr. Robinson. Most of the story is now about that murder and its repercussions. After various adventures connected with Injun Joe and some treasure he is hiding, during which Tom and Becky are lost in a cave for days, Tom solves the mystery surrounding Injun Joe and his whereabouts.

The themes of this novel are:

- Boyhood and growing up

Tom Sawyer is a rebel. The adults who surround him are constantly concerned by his rule-breaking, fighting, ducking out of chores, truanting, telling lies, stealing treats from his Aunt Polly’s closet, and so on. All that is presented with humour and affection. There is not a trace of judgment in Twain’s portrayal of him. In fact, Tom’s escapades are a delight to read. His gang’s activities are often satirical mirror images of the town’s adult behaviour.

More daring and imaginative than the other boys, Tom is admired by them. They all misbehave, but never in such a bold manner as Tom, which makes him their leader. His friend, and rival in wildness, is the unsupervised boy, Huckleberry Finn. He is every boy’s dream, envied because he is free to do as he likes without adult censure. The boys of the town bond through rebellion, and those who don’t conform, such as Tom’s half brother, Sid, are isolated.

Adults who don’t conform are also isolated. The mirror image is the expectation of good behaviour among them, so the criminals, Injun Joe and Muff Potter are outcasts, excluded from society.

The theme of boyhood includes the mapping of Tom’s journey from rebellious boy to responsible citizen through the process of maturing. Tom is an intelligent and sensitive boy and he realizes that his actions can have serious consequences. He is driven to make several moral decisions like testifying against Injun Joe and protecting Becky Thatcher from being whipped by their teacher by taking the blame for ripping the book.

The other model of boyhood does not lead to an acceptance of society. Huck Finn also matures. He performs the most heroic act in the novel when he saves the Widow Douglas’ life. However, even after he wins the approval of the adults he is not drawn into the kind of behaviour that would make him completely accepted. He does not conform, by going to church, developing table manners, and so on, preferring to live on the outskirts of society instead.

As the novel ends we see the two boys presenting as two different models of looming adulthood. In spite of that, they continue to bond through their firm friendship. Such friendship is a characteristic of boyhood that Mark Twain endorses as enduring wisdom – a friendship that will be with them throughout their lives.

- Adventure

Adventure, exploration, and discovery are central themes in the American experience. It is at the core of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer.

Tom is an adventurer, an explorer, and a thrill-seeker, driven by his imagination and sense of nobility. The novel’s title is a nod towards the popular emerging literary genre – the adventure novel – and reveals the author’s intention of commenting on it. He makes repeated references to other tales of high adventure like “Injun Joe’s cup stands first in the list of the cavern’s marvels; even “Aladdin’s Palace” cannot rival it.”

Moreover, the sarcastic tone of the novel presents a postmodern self-consciousness – the sense that the author is telling a story that is aware that it is a story being told. Tom’s adventures subsequently become a commentary on adventure stories. There is an echo of Don Quixote in that Tom’s imagination like Don Quixote’s plays the central role in his adventures. It is a comment on the role of imagination in the premise of adventure. Tom is connected with Don Quixote with his romantic swashbuckling. Like the knight of La Mancha Tom is self-made, formed by his reading of romantic adventurers.

- Adult hypocrisy

The novel is set in small-town America. It is a close-knit society where everyone knows everyone else. The townsfolk see themselves as law-abiding, Godfearing, church-going, stable families who raise their children with discipline, with the aim of turning out responsible adults.

Almost everyone goes to church on Sundays and all accept a common set of moral values. The town judge is the most respected figure and he administers the law with rectitude and fairness. School attendance is compulsory and education consists of reinforcing the inflexible rules that guard the town’s social values. It is a model of what a good society should be.

However, the town is full of children and they can muddy the water. The novel focuses on them, particularly the boys, who are led in boyhood rebellious behaviour by the rebel-in-chief, Tom Sawyer. Their activities frequently show gaps in the adults’ logic, and reveal a degree of hypocrisy, as they often say one thing and do another. Aunt Polly intends harsh punishments for Tom’s behaviour but is unable to follow them through to harsh action. Tom is sometimes punished for not doing as he agreed to do, but her hypocrisy in not carrying out her threats is not, and in that sense she is being hypocritical. In spite of that, she remains a moral authority.

When Tom joins the Cadets of Temperance he does that, not because of any belief or understanding of the cause of temperance, but because of the effect that the fancy sash he will be allowed to wear will affect his standing among the other kids. The author suggests that the adult members of the Temperance group are similarly motivated – more impressed by the actual membership, with its insignia, than by the cause itself.

The author extends his satire to the hypocrisy in 19th century America in general. For example, Aunt Polly is typical of small-town American women in her belief in quack medicines. That is a reflection of Tom’s and Huck’s belief in black magic but, whereas there is no authoritative affirmation of that, there are medical ‘authorities’ in support of the efficacy of quack medicines, who are themselves charlatans.

The town’s adults fail to follow through on their word in response to Tom’s various transgressions. In running away to Jackson’s Island, getting lost in the cave, and tracking down Injun Joe’s treasure, Tom and his friends break several serious rules, but in every case, the villagers don’t punish them. Mark Twain is suggesting that one can’t condemn the community for their hypocrisy in desiring the children’s safety. He is affirming the ultimate goodness of community, which is not a simple matter of the strict policing of children. Hypocrisy is not always such a bad thing and can be forgiven when it results in the good

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masaru2042 · 5 years

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King of the Monsters is the Best Season of Game of Thrones Ever!

When I came out of the theater, I hadn't had warm and fuzzies about a movie in...I can't tell you how long. And this movie gave me warm and fuzzies. And this is despite the nay-sayers and the idiot critics who are slamming this movie. Just a little FYI here, Godzilla beat out Aladdin for the #1 spot. Godzilla pimp-slapped the Mouse into second place opening weekend. And I approve of this.

But despite all the critics REEEEING over Godzilla and calling it garbage, I'm gonna tell you this movie is awesome and is worth your money. And if you have a $5 dollar Tuesday like me because you have a Cinemark Cinema in your town...and you're worried about shelling out too much money for something you think you might not like...go see it on Tuesday, pay the 5 bucks, and then see why I said it's worth every cent. And then go back and see it again full price if you want to.

So like any review I've done, usually I review a movie that I found bad and wanna shit all over it. It is my thing, after all. I mean see what all I've said about Godzilla Final Wars and everyone got pissy at me for hating on Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah 1991 and why I said I like GMK so much better...

And of course me shitting on Minya every time I mention Godzilla, because I hate that shit stain...I'm gonna actually give a positive review.

I mean the last movie review I did was Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, and...well...

It’s safe to say I really hated that movie.

But this one, I didn’t.

Just remember, this movie is worth every cent of your money. You did it! You did it, Hollywood! You finally made a REAL GODZILLA MOVIE! COMPLETE WITH THE ACTUAL GODZILLA THEME SONG! And the Blue Oyster's Go, Go, Godzilla at the end. And yes, there's even Mothra's theme song. And I was singing it during the movie. To anyone out there who said it couldn't be done...Cough-Steven Spielberg-Cough...we did it! America has finally made a real Godzilla movie! You also made the first Godzilla movie that actually gave a proper jump scare...and Godzilla was the one who did it, and I actually jumped! 10/10! You made me jump at a jump scare and I don't usually jump at jump scares. And yes, there was one, and it's at the beginning but...it's good. First Godzilla movie to have a genuine jump scare that actually made me jump. Thank you, movie! So, how does it start out. Well, it starts out in 2014 and we're following a family called the Russel Family. No sign of the Brody family, but that's probably because they finally got eaten by sharks because...JAWS, damn it! And also the Brody family was dull, save for Brian Cranston, and why the fuck didn't G2014 keep Brian Cranston in there? Anyway, we have Mark Russel, Emma Russel, and their daughter Madison Russel...who is played by the actress from Stranger Things...Millie Bobby Brown. I'm gonna refer to her as Eleven from here on out because that's who I know her the most as. And yes, next month, Stranger Things is coming back to Netflix, and I'm gonna be watching that. There's also Eleven's little brother, but he only appears in photographs because he ended up getting squashed by Godzilla's foot in San Francisco...so...I'm not gonna bother to learn his name. Interesting to note, the actor who plays Mark...played Bruce Baxter from King Kong 2005. But I barely recognize him...so, he doesn't get a quirky name. We do have Ken Watanabe returning as Ishiro Serizawa. Who I suspect is actually the sun of Daisuke Serizawa...though Daisuke is a completely different kind of person in the MonsterVerse than what he was in the original Gojira.

Okay, so, we cut to about 5 years later, so 2019 and we meet up with Eleven and her mom and El is contacting her dad who is not with them. He's studying wolves. And they have a little email convo, Dad's worried about his wife, El is worried about Dad, and so on. And I like how they build things up here because we don't realize that Eleven and her mom are in China studying Mothra's egg. Until we hear Mothra's call, and yes it is very recognizable. I suspect that there weren't veteran Godzilla fans like myself in the theater with me, so, pretty much every fan moment in this movie was something I would recognize but would mostly fall flat on most viewers. The monster calls and the music. Except for King Ghidorah's call...they were trying to do his call but...to be honest, it sounded like a bad mix of Heisei Ghidorah and the version they used in Final Wars. With a little Showa in there. The most perfect Ghidorah call was done in GMK. It made him sound powerful, big, and kept the iconic call. However, King Ghidorah's design looks rather interesting. It's more of an updated version of Heisei Ghidorah than any of the other Ghidorahs. Even more interesting is that the three heads all have their own separate personalities. How can I explain them? This fan art done by Michael J Larson just might help.

I present to you, Moe, Larry, and Curly. Legendary turned King Ghidorah into the Three Stooges. And here's the funny bit, Moe is the middle head, while Curly is the one on the right, and Larry is the one on the left. And just like in Three Stooges fashion, Moe hates Curly a lot. He even bops Curly a few times to pretty much make a point on just who these thee heads represent.

Rodan's call didn't sound much like Rodan's call either, but, I'm not a big Rodan fan, so I forgave it.

So, Eleven and Mom here goes down into a cave where Mothra's egg is so they can witness Mothra being born. And of course call the giant moth-like creature...Mothra. Because yeah. We need to state that. Complete with Mothra's theme!

Well Mom's got a gadget that seems to be able to create a signal that makes the monster docile, and lo and behold it works! And then Tywin Lannister shows up!

This is Charles Dance's character Alan Jonah...you know, like the whale...however, I'm gonna stick with Tywin Lannister. Because that's who he is! Well, Tywin kidnaps mom and Eleven. Tywin actually is trying to be a little nice to Eleven, even making a silly face at her. Which I thought was cute. Until she flipped Tywin off...because yes, Eleven can do that to Tywin! She's probably the only person who can flip Tywin Lannister the bird! Anyone else would have been beheaded.

Apparently Tywin now runs an eco-terrorist group who are a bunch of nihilists. And they wanna release King Ghidorah for the purpose of ending the suffering that man has caused the planet. So...Anime Godzilla Xaliens? Really, Tywin? The Dragon has three heads, but apparently you merely wanted to end the Targaryan dynasty just to set up the new Ghidorah dynasty. Well, to tell you the truth, King Ghidorah would make a better ruler than Bran the Broken, so he has my vote on that. Honestly, this whole movie is like the best Game of Thrones climax ever! With a little Stranger Things mixed in for good measure.

And King Ghidorah...or rather Ghidorah as they call him in the movie...is actually located in Antarctica. Because of course he is. How did he get there? We don't know. He is a space monster just like he usually is, and he also wants to fuck over everything on planet Earth, like usual. But this time...it's him doing it, and not someone controlling him...or rather...that device they call Orca sends out a call at first controls him, but the he's like "Naw, man, I'm my own boss." And really fucks over Tywin's plans. Because King Ghidorah at least listened to Olena Tyrell's suggestion of "Be a Dragon." And he pretty much shows how much he is a dragon, rather than what Danaerys did until the very last minute. Yes, I won't stop the Game of Thrones comparisons, shut up! So, apparently, Ghidorah has the Queen of Thorns on his side and she's been talking into his ear more than Mamma Russel's Orca's machine has. And to show Olena how much of a dragon he is, King Ghidorah eats a few humans as he is freed.

No, I'm serious, King Ghidorah eats people! Olena would be proud.

He also doesn't listen to Tywin Lannister. And neither did Aerys, but that's only because Aerys didn't want Cercei to marry Rhaegar. So, Tywin pretty much gave that dragon a middle finger and decided to get with another three headed dragon...a literal three headed dragon, and they're gonna fuck up the planet, yo! Until Olena Tyrell started talking to King Ghidorah about playing the Game of Thrones, and now King Ghidorah uses his magic monster call to literally "Call the Banners!" I'm fucking serious! There is a reason why the Game of Thrones references will not stop! King Ghidorah pulls a Rob Stark and turns to Maester Lewin.

King Ghidorah: "Maester Lewin..."

Lewin: "Yes, your Grace."

King Ghidorah: "Call the banners."

Lewin: "All of them?"

King Ghidorah: "All of them."

And the ravens fly!

Meanwhile, Daddy Russel got wind of his wife and daughter being kidnapped, as well as Orca being used to summon King Ghidorah and well, he seems to have a big beef with the monsters in general. Apparently, he has a bone to pick with Godzilla for the death of his son. And he wants to Inigo Montoya Godzilla's ass. The problem is, he's about the size of Godzilla's talon, so I don't think that duel is gonna work very well. However, it's here where we get to the jump scare that works and why I loved it. You see, in this scene, we're in an underwater Monarch base where they discuss what they want to do with Godzilla. Russel is on the "let's kill the bastard" boat along with the American military, and Serizawa is more on the boat of...we becoming Godzilla's adopted children in which he protects from other threats out there. Or rather...his pets. Which of course doesn't go very well over with the Americans. Because...

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You honestly think we're gonna be Godzilla's little pet humans, Serizawa? HELL NO!

But I chock that up to poor translation since English isn't Serizawa's first language. And maybe that came out wrong. Anyhoo...yeah, Godzilla's pets. No. I like you, big guy, but I ain't gonna be your cat.

So, while we're in this underwater base, Godzilla decides to show up! And they start pointing their guns at him...which kinda pisses him off. While Russel here hates Godzilla, even he knows it's not wise to go and pick a fight with him without a plan, so he even tells the guys to stand down, which they do. And then we have a moment where Godzilla slowly inches close to the glass and Russel and the King of the Monsters have some kind of moment. And to tell you the truth, it's a better moment than what we had with Brody and Godzilla. Well, Godzilla at first slinks back into the darkness...and everything seems fine. And this is where the jump scare happens. They don't draw it out to where you expect a jump scare to happen, like...most jump scares do. That's how you know it's a bad jump scare, they draw it out for so long that you know it's gonna jump out and get you. You're just waiting for it to happen. Here? Nope, the moment you think everything is okay, Godzilla jump scares you by just suddenly swimming by the glass.

And that's it.

And I did not expect it at all!

That's how you jump scare people! Again, this shows why Godzilla is King of the Jump Scares! There is no lingering shot, there is no "he's still there, he's still there, he's still there...he's still there..." It just comes right out of nowhere like a jump scare does. And I did jump. So again, good work, movie.

And I will say I like Russel as well. Yeah, he's in the "I hate Godzilla and I wanna see him dead" boat, but it's not taken to ridiculous extremes like you'd think it would be. He's smart, he knows when to fold them if he has to, which in Godzilla movies...is a good thing. You see, Godzilla movies tend to have characters like Russel be so over the top moronic in their hatred...you just wanna skip right over them and get to the monster fight. Russel is not one of these characters. His wife on the other hand...is an idiot, and I might as well address her.

She's flawed, and I'm glad we have for once a flawed female character in a world of female protagonists have to be perfect awesome people so that the feminazis can relate to them.

Apparently, the SJWs didn't really affect this movie much, and I'm grateful for that. Yeah, I had one guy tell me how he hated that Ghidorah wasn't called King and that he wasn't really a he...but an it. But I had to remind him that pretty much that's all the monsters. Including Godzilla. And Ghidorah's first movie was Ghidorah the Three-headed Monster in which this movie is a bit of a remake of. But not quite. In fact, I went into this movie thinking it was going to be a remake of that movie. Right down to Eleven being maybe a person possessed by some supernatural being who wanted to warn everyone about King Ghidorah's coming. She wasn't at all. I half expected Tywin to be some guy trying to assassinate her and he wasn't. And I thought Rodan would team up with Mothra and Godzilla against King Ghidorah after Mothra smacked their asses around and talked about friendship and the heart of the cards and shit, but he didn't and neither did Mothra. Mothra was on Godzilla's side, but not Rodan. Rodan was on King Ghidorah's side! He was one of the banners Ghidorah had Maester Lewin send a raven to. And another one of those ravens went to Nevada of all places and to...and I'm shocked to say this...Kumonga! Yes, our giant spider from the 60's Showa era has returned in the American reboot! And much like his Final Wars counterpart, he decided to be in the American Southwest. Maybe he liked Cowboys or something. We also had a giant mammoth creature rising out of Wyoming. And another MUTO. Why, Legendary? Why another MUTO? I guess we needed to reuse an asset or something. Well, it wouldn't be a Godzilla movie if we didn't. So...you're checking off the marks here, Legendary. We even have stock footage in the form of clips! They are checking off all the Showa marks!

So, while King Ghidorah is flying around in a hurricane he created (totally awesome) and telling Lewin to call his Banners, we suddenly find out that Mamma Russel was actually the mastermind behind this whole "the Dragon has Three Heads" thing. Yeah, Tywin Lannister wasn't the guy in charge, it was Ma Russel. And she managed to convince Eleven that this is for the well being of mankind. You see, she wants the monsters to basically cull the humans and our evil technology, and return the world to a more peaceful time where we were subsistence farmers worshiping giant monsters as gods? Because that was a more peaceful time?

And this is why she's an idiot. And her ideas is batshit crazy! The world has never been more at peace now than any other era. I'm not kidding about that. Yeah, we're polluting the planet, and we need to cut back our carbon footprint, but to be honest here...the planet was much warmer during the time of the Dinosaurs than it is currently NOW. And while I've touted about the lessons of the P-T Extinction Event, aka the Great Dying, in which a flood basalt in Siberia started an out of control greenhouse that resulted in nearly 90% of all life on the planet dying, including the life in the oceans, and set our planet in a biological to be resetted in a way...and that was caused by just the temperature rising on top of all the nasty gasses put into the atmosphere by said flood basalt...I don't think that just going back to subsistence farming is gonna solve the problem, lady. In fact, it's stated even if we just stop all the polluting now, the damage has already been done. There is no stopping it. And NO! Suddenly causing the entire planet to just become more radioactive is not gonna solve your problem either. She honestly believed that radiation is some miracle grow fertilizer. When, no it isn't. And Carl Sagan can tell you why! Did you not listen to Threads? Did you not watch that movie, lady? I feel like I need to sit you and Final Wars Godzilla down and you both watch that movie together to see why just pumping a bunch of radiation into the atmosphere is not gonna help things. Final Wars Godzilla needs to learn that we understand the message of nuclear war. Threads has told us that. And you, you moronic bitch, need to learn the lesson of radiation will make farming HARDER!

And apparently for a scientist, she's never heard of the Red Forest of Chernobyl.

If you want to know what it looks like to an entire ecosystem when it's been bombarded by radiation...just radiation alone...

See those red trees? That is caused by massive amounts of radiation being released upon a forest.

Again, I prove why I know more about radiation than anyone who makes a Godzilla movie. But this time, I will forgive it because this lady is actually stupid and everyone else is far more intelligent in regards to dealing with radiation. Seriously, how did this woman get a doctorate in which she ended up working for an organization built to study monsters from a time when the Earth was "more radioactive" as it's was stated in this universe's past? And unless you wanna die from cancer or bleeding out your ass, you need to sit your ass down and shut the fuck up. But thank god this woman is basically the villain and a stupid one at that. Even Tywin Lannister got tired of her shit. And Eleven just figured out her mother is a loon.

Basically, Tywin Lannister makes more sense than crazy lady, because well, he at least just wants to release the monsters and wipe out humanity as a whole. In which the radiation will certainly do that. So, he's pretty much on the bar on the consequences of what will actually happen more than the idiot bitch. He just wants to make it happen because he's seen enough evidence of what humans are like, and he's tired of it. Which I can respect. Not the whole genocide thing, but the whole...I'm not doing this to "save humanity from itself thing" like crazy moron had pretty much talked herself into...to the point of stupidity and forgetting what radiation actually will do to humans and the ecosystem. Sure, maybe the ecosystem was actually more hardy against radiation in this universe than in our own...but still...that doesn't resolve the issue that TODAY'S plants and animals are not hardy against it! Well our Monarch heroes show up to where Rodan was popping out of that volcano like in the trailer, and we finally get to the first fight. Monarch leads Rodan to the storm and King Ghidorah, hoping to just have the two fight...but they don't. Because Rodan is on Ghidorah's side. So, it's up to Godzilla to take this false king down. And he does! He literally pulls a Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah 1991 and decapitates Ghidorah's head!

Well...the United States has a plan to finally put all three monsters down and it's....

The Oxygen Destroyer

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Okay, this is where I'm gonna have to gripe. Because this thing is the single most stupid idea ever! But at least it does have a pay off in the stinger at the end when everyone basically states that the Gulf of Mexico is now devoid of fish. However, the existence of this weapon in this movie is uncalled for. But I suppose it's meant to set up the scene where Serizawa decides to sacrifice himself to bring Godzilla back onto the field. And to be honest, it's not needed. King Ghidorah could just be enough to knock Godzilla out for a few rounds while he goes on his little mayhem run and Serizawa can still sacrifice his life to revive Godzilla from that horrid beating. You don't need this thing in this movie, guys! You don't! You put it in there because you had that little teaser a few years back showing the Oxygen Destroyer in an old Monarch location and people were speculating it. So, you had to give us something.

And people wonder why my Game of Thrones references are happening in this review...because...this is Clegane Bowl, people. This is Clegane Bowl and how stupid Dumb and Dumber made it. It comes out of nowhere because the fans were expecting it, and you didn't even bother to set it in the Dragon pits and fill it to the brim with chickens. We are disappointed with you!

However, I did get a laugh out of it. Military guy: "We have this weapon we've been developing. It's called the Oxygen Destroyer! We're gonna use it on these monsters."

Thanks, America, you just killed all the fish in the Gulf. You morons!

And it didn't work on King Ghidorah because he's an alien. Tell Kiryuu Knight that! He managed to stick his Oxygen Destroyer into King Ghidorah and it worked like magic.

However, I will say that you're not the only ones who did something stupid with the Oxygen Destroyer, Legendary. Kiryuu did to in Halo 3 Different. He had the thing with him, took it to High Charity, and then forgot that he had it. Yeah, I'm capable of my idiot moments in writing as well. But I noticed that no reader really noticed the Oxygen Destroyer was even mentioned in that story...so, can't complain.

Well the Oxygen Destroyer also didn't really kill Godzilla, however it did wound him enough that he retreated to the bowels of the Earth to recover. Basically Hollow Earth theory. Or rather, not really. They call it Hollow Earth Theory, but it really isn't. I know Hollow Earth Theory because I love poking fun at morons who claim stupid shit. Hollow Earth Theory looks like this.

See that? That's a sun instead of a molten core. This is the theory touted by racists like Hitler and Lewis Farakhan. The thing the MonsterVerse came up with is more like...the crust is made out of Swiss cheese. Rather than the Earth being hollow. Basically, the Earth is Tennessee. Tennessee's crust is made out of Swiss cheese, and now these guys applied that to the entire planet. But no, the Earth isn't really hollow in the MonsterVerse, not the way the actual Hollow Earth Theory states. And that has been my biggest problem with the nomenclature they use for this theory in this universe. but I guess Swiss cheese Earth didn't really catch on as good as Hollow Earth. So Godzilla falls through one of these Swiss cheese holes and King Ghidorah regrows his head. Holy shit! However, I noticed, to regrow his head, he had to be sitting on a volcano with his storm raging over him. So...he's drawing power from somewhere to regrow that head, which is why he probably can't regrow his entire body from a single severed head in the totally not gonna make Mecha-King Ghidorah with Tywin Lannister as the pilot stinger. And he's calling his banners.

So this is where we have our Serizawa sacrifice scene. They go into one of the Swiss cheese holes after Mothra in her full glory appears and starts raining down her prettiness on top of the water to guide them to where Godzilla is...complete with her theme of course...and the guys find out some very ancient ruins of a civilization long gone. These ruins appear to be a hodgepodge of Egyptian, Mesoamerican, Mesopotamian, Eutruscan, Celtic creation. Why are they down there, why haven't we seen these things before, and is this the Lost City of Atlantis...I'm banking it's Atlantis. And the Atlantians worshiped Godzilla...before they all moved to Georgia and built the greatest airport mankind has ever seen.

It's all connected, I tell you!

LAX has nothing on Atlanta!

And the closer to where Godzilla is sleeping, the more radioactive it becomes. They decide to deliver a nuke to him to wake him up because nukes feed Godzilla. But the battle with Rodan and King Ghidorah damaged the sub's launching bay and they have to deliver it manually. So Serizawa draws the short straw, gives Papa Russel his notes on Godzilla, and decides to go in and give Godzilla the pick me up he needs. But not before Serizawa boops the Goji snoot. Which is cute. And going back to think on it. At least Serizawa gave Godzilla much deserved pats. Because he's a good boi, damn it! Unlike Jon who...only gave Ghost pats at the last second!

Why you so mean, Jon?!

It seems Godzilla is very much aware of our existence. As he's shown even in the 2014 film to notice those tiny ants under his feet. He is very much aware of the humans, and even after he awakens...to the sound of this...

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Since when did we import Akira Ifukube into this thing?

Okay, are you trying to show how awesome you are to us G-fans, movie, because we get it! We get it! You are awesome. Thank you for that.

Alright, so Goji theme going on and Godzilla starts heading to where King Ghidorah is.

Meanwhile, Tywin Lannister and his eco-lions along with crazy bitch and Eleven are in Boston of all places. While King Ghidorah is making a mess out of Washington DC.

But he is making a mess out of the place and according to the scientists, he's also trying to reformat the planet to suit his needs. In Boston, Eleven decides to steal the Orca and head into Red Sox Stadium. She hooks it up to the massive broadcaster speakers to signal to King Ghidorah to come to Boston. And it works. Unfortunately. Godzilla also gets that signal and he heads for it too. Papa Russel then gets the idea of rather than letting the Gods duke it out in the Red Sox stadium, it's probably time for the humans to show Godzilla that they are on his team. And so...by the power of Akira Ifukue...Godzilla and Monarch charge into battle. And no, not kidding about that either. They charge in with Godzilla's theme song playing in the background. And yes, Godzilla knows they are on his team. You can tell. You can seriously tell. Godzilla is surrounded by military planes and he's like "These guys are with me!"

I'm literally getting Godzilla vs. Hedorah vibes from this because Godzilla and the military actually did team up to defeat Hedorah. And not only that, but Godzilla acknowledged humans several times in that movie. And yes, this movie is actually dedicated to Banno, who was the director of Godzilla vs. Hedorah. So, I approve. And so would he. And it's explained in the movie why Godzilla recognizes the humans as his allies. The Orca's signal is not only mixed with the call of an alpha "titan" as the kaiju are called in the movie, but also the voice of humans. Because we're the alpha predators of this planet! So, Godzilla, obviously hearing not only that sound, but also seeing human dominance all over the place has pretty much recognized humanity as a partner species. And apparently he also recognizes Mothra as a fellow partner species that helps him keep the order, so he now has "imprinted" that status onto humans as well. We're not his pets, Serizawa, we're his partner. I knew the Serizawa's English was off on that. But it reaches the coexistence he is trying to achieve. Mothra also joins the fight, but a bit later when Rodan starts fucking Godzilla's shit over. Meanwhile, Godzilla is building up for a finishing move on Ghidorah...and because of that, there's a timer. Papa Russel wants to go in and save Eleven before that timer runs out. And I'm suspecting Godzilla knows this because he's actually holding back a bit. It's severely hinted that Godzilla knows this. At least to me it is. Like Russel shot Godzilla a message or something.

Russel: "Can you keep that thing busy, Godzilla? I gotta save my daughter!"

Godzilla: "Sure, but not for long. I'll give you 10 minutes, tops! But after that, I gotta unleash this nuclear pulse, or else I might blow myself up if I don't."

Russel: "Ten minutes! Got it!"

Again, not that I mind, but Eleven has Arya Stark plot armor, so...she'll be fine. However, the plot armor is a staple of Godzilla. So, not that gripey about it either. Honestly, when dealing with Godzilla, no character, not even the main ones, should have plot armor. Unless they are so far away from the fight it wouldn't matter.

That rule goes for you as well, Toho! Especially with that whole 24 week long half life thing you had in Shin-Godzilla! Plot armor was the only thing keeping those boring characters alive, because it sure wasn't their hazmat suits. Those things looked like they were made out of tissue paper. Which wouldn't help in dealing with rads that high. Even my mother would know that!

So, if 24 week long half life could get a pass on not killing characters in that shit of a movie, this much better one can get a pass on Eleven not dying.

Meanwhile, crazy bitch Russel finally decides to do something of actual merit and go after her daughter. And Tywin lets her. Because that's not his problem. Just as long as she doesn't take his men with her...he doesn't give a shit.

He really doesn't give a shit.

So that's it for Tywin, we don't see him again until the Stinger, but I've revealed that already. So crazy bitch goes after her daughter, Papa goes after his daughter, and they end up finding the Orca all smashed up. And Godzilla is not doing very well in the fight. He is obviously holding that nuclear pulse in. And yes, it is a nuclear pulse. He's like: "Russel, hurry up! I can't hold this fart in!"

Mothra punctures Rodan in the chest with her stinger. And honestly, she's GMK Mothra. Which is cool. However, she does end up dying during this fight in the attempt to help Godzilla get back on his feet. But like always, she is basically a phoenix and will rise from the ashes through another egg. King Ghidorah is kicking Godzilla's ass all over the place. And when the Russels finally reunite and fix the damned Orca, they turned it on and lead King Ghidorah away from Godzilla long enough for Godzilla to unleash his secret weapon that I spoiled. The nuclear pulse! And it is glorious! He goes red like Burning Godzilla from Godzilla vs. Destroyah, but...it's so much cooler. This red burning look isn't because he's gonna die, it's him charging up his new weapon. And that nuclear pulse is...basically like an atomic blast! Right down to the shearing of flesh from bones! Unfortunately, crazy bitch basically dies in the fire, leaving Russel and Eleven to watch from a distance as Godzilla incinerates King Ghidorah.

And for good measure to make sure Ghidorah doesn't come back...GODZILLA EATS KING GHIDORAH! That has never happened in any Godzilla movie. EVER. Clap! This Godzilla is just the most brutal of any Godzilla. I think GMK Goji might have to bow to this king since he EATS his foes!

And Godzilla stands over a demolished Boston, roars in triumphant. And as the other kaiju show up, he pretty much pulls a Robert Baratheon.

youtube

As if the Game of Thrones references couldn't stop there. So, Godzilla reveals himself to be King Robert Baratheon, which works out because Tywin Lannister is wanting to take him down. So, I'll describe the stinger at the end of the movie. We show Tywin Lannister and his eco-lions walking into a bunker and the guy is explaining that after the Oxygen Destroyer, the fishing in the Gulf is shit now. Because yeah. It would be. It's the Oxygen Destroyer. Well, as he walks into a large room, we see King Ghidorah's only remaining head with flies buzzing around it. And it looks exactly like the scene from Godzilla vs. Mecahgodzilla 1993 when General Aso and a team of scientists come into a room with Mecha-King Ghidorah's head in it...saying "We have it now, a robot to kill Godzilla."

And this is why I think Tywin Lannister is gonna build himself Mecha-King Ghidorah...and take over Westeros.

So all in all, I really look forward to Game of Thrones season 10. It really is shaping up to probably the best season we're ever gonna get. And Season 9 of Game of Thrones ended with a huge bang. I was really satisfied with what they did. Tywin's back! And he's backing the real Dragon...with the Three Heads. I don't think Maester Aemon thought the dragon having three heads meant King Ghidorah, but as George RR Martin stated...prophesies do end up biting your prick off.

So, what do you all think Season 10 of Game of Thrones is gonna be like?

All joking aside, I loved this movie. I really did.

And continuing the Game of Thrones comparisons, the night fight shots in this film...10 times better than The Long Night of Season 8 of Game of Thrones. Why? BECAUSE YOU COULD ACTUALLY SEE FIGHT! But if I have one true gripe to say about it...aside from the Oxygen Destroyer...it's that this movie happened BEFORE Godzilla vs. Kong.

No, I'm serious on this. This movie sounds like it should have been done after Godzilla vs. Kong. And I did kinda hated that King Ghidorah had to die in this movie, rather than return as an actual threat again later.

But who knows....we do have that head left over, so anything can happen.

#Godzilla King of the Monsters #legendary pictures #Godzilla #Game of Thrones #GoT Season 8 #Tywin Lannister #Charles Dance #stranger things #Eleven #King Ghidorah #Rodan #Mothra #Ghidorah #kaiju #American kaiju #Titan #spoiler review #movie review

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mirkwoodshewolf · 5 years

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Aladdin Queen style; John Deacon x reader Intro

*Author’s note*

Hello everyone well after seeing a couple of comments here on Tumblr I figured its best that I give you all what I had promised. So here we are with the Disney Queen fic Aladdin style. I hope you all enjoy these two chapters I’ve got for you :) And don’t forget to listen to the songs I will link throughout the story cause yes I’m making this a musical style fic.

Taglist:

@psychosupernatural

@plethora-of-things

@ixchel-9275

@waddles03

@queendeakyy

@coolcxt

@mexifangorl

@geek-and-proud

_____________________________________________________

Visualize it if you will; walking through the streets of London, it’s partly cloudy but the merchants and sellers are out and about through the pleasant kingdom of England. People all chattering amongst each other, bidders trying to sell their foods and stock, children racing about.

You find yourself coming around the corner of a shop when a voice calls out to you.

“Well I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here before darling.” You turn to look and there leaning over the shop window was a pretty handsome young man. Long raven black hair and the darkest chocolate eyes you’ve ever seen but with a hint of mischief to them. “Tell me from where do you roam?” You answer him. “Ahh been there myself just last year. Quite a lovely place, if I do say so myself. Love the people there, but of course can’t argue with the drinks there.” He chuckled mischievously.

You then ask him what exactly he has to offer in this shop and he answers you with a wide grin, revealing an overbite but strangely it seemed to fit him.

“Well wouldn’t you like to find out? C’mon in my lovely dears.” You enter inside the shop to reveal beautiful antiques that seem to come from all over the world.

From katanas in Japan, Buddha statues of India, treasures from South America. You also feel something rub up against your leg. You look down to see a grey and brownish cat with blue eyes.

“Oh that cheeky little thing is Tiffany. One of my many little pets. However none of them are for sale so I hope you understand.” You nod. “Excellent. So feel free to look around and pick whatever your heart’s desire.”

“Freddie, you better not be scaring the costumers again!” Another voice cried out.

“Ohh darling I wouldn’t dream of it.” The merchant now known as Freddie turns back towards you and chuckles before saying, “My partner always thinking I’ll scare off any customer that comes. I may look intimidating but I’m really harmless, unless you don’t want me to be.” He winks cheekily at you before turning back around and picking up a grey and white tabby cat off the counter. “Again look around while I tend to my children here.”

He leaves you to your own to look around the shop. Your eye immediately caught onto all the jewels and gold trinkets. But there was one thing that really caught your attention.

A lamp. And not a lamp light, no this lamp looked like some sort of tea-pot style lamp. It was pure gold with a beautiful crystalline design around the top portion of the lamp.

“Oh that, that is the story décor. Unfortunately that’s also not for sale either.” You ask why not? “Why? Well….this lamp is not some ordinary lamp this lamp—changed the lives of many people. In fact this lamp changed the lives of two countries.” You are intrigued. Freddie noticing that you are wanting to know more asks you. “Tell me, do you know the story of (Y/n), the English Prince and the magic lamp?” You shake your head. “Would you like to hear it?” You nod your head. “Ahh excellent. I knew you’d be wanting to hear the story. Sit over here darling.”

He pulls up a red velvet chair for you to sit in and he pats the cushioned seat and you gladly sit down.

“Now then my darling, buckle up because this is a long story.” He gracefully spins around your chair to end up behind you as he paints you a picture of the story you are about to embark on.

Using grand gestures with his hands to emphasize his point giving you a warm or wide smile, ready to share this tale that changed two kingdoms forever.

Play video

*Freddie*

Oh, imagine a land, it's a faraway place Where the caravan camels roam Where you wander among

Every culture and tongue It's chaotic, but hey, it's home

When the wind's from the east And the sun's from the west And the sand in the glass is right Come on down, stop on by Hop a carpet and fly To another Arabian night

And this is where our story begins. Now imagine it’s nightfall out in the kingdom of India. Out in the streets merchants are still trying to make their living by selling the last of their things before turning in for the night.

We see a small monkey bouncing and running from cart to cart taking and sneaking in something into it’s small vest. It soon reaches a young woman who is casually walking the streets and she nonchalantly lowers her hand so the monkey can crawl up onto her shoulders and rest there.

She takes the stolen necklace the monkey managed to grab and she pockets it into her bag as the monkey jumps off of her shoulders and it jumps onto a cart filled with blankets and tapestries. Looking for something else to steal.

As you wind through the streets

At the fabled bazaars With the cardamom-cluttered stalls You can smell every spice While you haggle the price Of the silks and the satin shawls

Oh, the music that plays as you move through a maze In the haze of your pure delight You are caught in a dance, you are lost in the trance Of another Arabian night

We are now greeted by a large palace that stands at the end of the village. This palace in particular was designed as a housing for their partnering country of England. Up along the balcony three old men bearing English crowns were feasting on various foods from grapes and apples to the hard meat of chicken and turkey and pheasant.

One of the kings turned towards a lioness that sat just a few feet calmly but eyeing the chicken in his hand. After eating just one bite of the large chicken leg, he tossed it towards the lioness and went back to chatting with the two other kings.

The lioness immediately took the meat as it was thrown to her and ate it as she stepped down onto the lower edge to walk up to not only another lion but to three younger men.

One of them held a badger in his arms and had a mass of brown curly hair and hazel eyes, the other had long blonde hair and blue eyes and was petting the dark maned male lion. The lioness stopped before the youngest of the three. He had long straight brown hair and a mixture of hazel-blue eyes. He stroked the lioness’s head making her lowly growl with content.

A parrot soon came into view and the male lion took notice of it. He got into pouncing positions before finally roaring as he lunged towards the parrot but missing it by an inch. The parrot squawked but flew high above the night sky.

Beyond the palace and all the way past the desert till it came to a mountain range. There a few people stood but what they were looking at was something far mind-boggling.

There embedded within the mountains the cave entrance looked like a tiger’s head and the only way to enter inside was going through it’s mouth. It’s eyes glowing like pure fire.

Arabian nights Like Arabian days More often than not are hotter than hot In a lot of good ways Arabian nights Like Arabian dreams This mystical land of magic and sand Is more than it seems

There's a road that may lead you to good or to greed Through the power your wishing commands Let the darkness unfold or find fortunes untold Well, your destiny lies in your hands

“Only one may enter here One whose worth lies far within. The diamond in the rough.” It’s thunderous voice commanded. A guard was forcing a man to enter inside. The man refused but when the guard took out his sword, it made the man change his mind.

Hesitantly and fearfully he slowly entered inside the tiger’s mouth.

Arabian nights Like Arabian days They seem to excite, take off and take flight To shock and amaze

The cave collapses on the man entering inside burying him under rock, dust and rubble. It’s eyes glowed with fire as the thundering voice spoke out once more.

“Seek thee out, the Diamond in the rough!” A man wearing royal advisory robes having short brown hair and a mustache across his upper lip, glared down to the ground as his parrot looked at him.

Arabian nights

'Neath Arabian moons

A fool off his guard could fall and fall hard Out there on the dunes.

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coyote-daniels · 5 years

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My Personal Favorite Starkid Lines II

“America’s great again.”

“aaaaaaaAaaAAHHHHHH—“

-Macnamera and Audience, TGWDLM, America is Great Again

“Then there’s the wonder of the caterpillar! The best show in town—(the ending is killer!!)”

-Roach, Starship, Beauty Everywhere

“...do you think it could make a girl fall in love with me?”

“....I think it already has…! ❤️”

“Awesome ‘cause it’s for Cho Chang!!”

-Harry and Ginny, AVPM

“I never miss a musical at The Starlight. And if anyone thinks that makes me less of a man, they can talk to my FUCKIN’ G U N.”

-Sam, TGWDLM

“...and I’m not homeless! Anymore!”

-Remus Lupin, AVPS

“Who is it??”

“Professor Hidgens!!”

“Don’t lie to me, whoever you are! I’M Professor Hidgens!!”

-Hidgens and Emma, TGWDLM

“Who looks stupid now? You do.”

-Remus Lupin, AVPS

“Here’s a tip—“

-Nick Lang, Starship

“Watch out, Paul! He might k i c k y o u r h e a d”

-Ted, TGWDLM

“I’ll be the one who plunders her CAVE OF WONDERS”

Also

“SHOW ME YOUR MAGIC CARPET”

-Aladdin, Twisted, Happy Ending and Take Off Your Clothes

“And what do we do with babies in this tribe? Uh-oh! WE EAT THEM.”

-Zazzalil, Firebringer

“That’s Lavender Brown-*clap*-RACIST SISTER.”

-Ron Weasley, AVPM, Goin’ Back to Hogwarts

“WOOO”

-Rouges, HMB, Rouges are We

“Shut up, you’re drunk!”

“No, I’M drUnk”

-Nick and Snail, Starship

“A R E Y O U F R I G H T E N E D”

-Paul, TGWDLM

“My name is Draco Malfoy. I am a racist... I despise gingers, and mud-bloods...I hate Gryffindor house,and my father works for the man who killed your parents; Do You Want To Be My Friend?” -Draco Malfoy, AVPS

“Well Emma, I hate to say this right now but this is what seatbelts are for...”

-Paul, TGWDLM

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sohannabarberaesque · 5 years

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“Underwater America with Peter Potamus” (episode 5: Monterey Bay, California)

Herewith, another contrived transcript for another episode of Underwater America with Peter Potamus, imagined as a syndicated documentary series in the early 1970′s where Peter Potamus leads a crew of close friends in a series of SCUBA-diving misadventures to demonstrate the fun and friendship inherent in SCUBA.

[The inevitable corny aerial view of the Monterey Peninsula and Monterey Bay to open the show, with a rather reechy-sounding--perhaps 78 rpm--rendering of “In Old Monterey” to try and evoke attraction to the scene, when--]

PETER POTAMUS, standing near Point Lobos and with a decent view of the Lone Cypress in the background: I’ve heard it been said that the waters off Monterey, where I’m standing now, are something of a paradise for the diving fraternity, rivalled only by Catalina Island. Admittedly chilly by virtue of location, but just picturing our diving company in such waters ought to be rather interesting in and of itself ... particularly considering where yours truly happens to be rather fat himself ...

[Whereupon we find the three lupines of the company, Loopy De Loop, Hokey Wolf and Mildew Wolf, come up on set almost unbidden ...]

HOKEY WOLF, going into Sgt. Bilko-type histrionics: Uh, Peter, if I understand it correctly, doesn’t Point Lobos translate as “Wolf Point” from the Spanish?

PETER POTAMUS: Now that you mention it, Hokey ... indeed, it does. And it’s rather interesting to note that Point Lobos is one of the better spots on the California coast for beach-based diving. After all, getting a dive boat anchored in the middle of the kelp forests offshore without digging up kelp when the anchor comes up is probably a crazy sort of scenario to be imagined ...

LOOPY DE LOOP, trying not to get obnoxious in the “charm offensive”: Yet I believe we were reading somewhere heading up that you’ve got some rather diverse marine life here--sea otters, sea lions, harbor seals, grouper, sea bass,--

PETER POTAMUS: Point taken, Loopy! [Trying to get back to rational--] Steinbeck aside, what with Cannery Row itself in decline, Point Lobos was chosen for the dive here in Monterey Bay because, as Loopy pointed out, you’ve got such diversity of sea life to be had in a beach-entry diving scenario. And yet you don’t want to look ridiculous entering the water in a normal sort of manner, especially when it’s chilly (generally 50-60 degrees the year round) and yet you want to be natural for the most part ...

[The action goes into a sort of “flashback” during a breakfast session in a diner not far from the Cannery Row district, which, at the time this show is imagined as in production, was down but to one operating cannery in contrast to the half-dozen such running when John Steinbeck’s novel came out in 1945.]

Over breakfast, which is how our crew likes planning dive misadventures--no doubt including much in the way of coffee (although Wally Gator prefers orange juice)--

WALLY GATOR, explaining: I’m one with a rather tender stomach for coffee, and besides, being the Florida type myself, I’d rather prefer OJ for my breakfasts, don’t you know?!

PETER POTAMUS, getting back to track: --we do a little research from dive-spot maps picked up at a decent little dive shop down the way. Not to mention the waitresses, one of whom is a regular Monterey Bay diver and acknowledges some experience with the local waters....

JILL, the waitress in question: I was rather stunned to find such a diving party as a hippo, three wolves, a gorilla, a polar bear, an alligator, a lion, a hyena and an octopus as underwater cameraman at breakfast ... but I admit to having much acquaintenance with Point Lobos as a dive spot, so I felt like recommending it.

[Onward to the preparations, which include not just the gearing up and the safety lecture, but also some advice on dealing with the colder waters than accustomed to in previous dives--and on the beach, at that!]

PETER POTAMUS: And so it was on Point Lobos that we assembled for an early evening sort of dive. Not unlike the late-afternoon sort of scenario which surfers call “the evening glass,” which finds milder water temperatures and calmer seas. As well as clearer waters, but still, expect Monterey Bay to be as chilly. [Several divers getting ready to leave take notice of such an anthro diving party suiting up, and must be rather perplexed themselves] And as it’s one of those “beach entry” sort of dive spots, we walk in backwards, just to make sure we enter on the safe side of things ...

[The dive-in ... taking underwater ballet-type entrances to sillier and sillier extremes, or maybe not. And it’s in the middle of a major kelp grove such as Point Lobos is legendary for in the diving world]

BREEZLY BRUIN, taking stock of the dive some time later: Just picturing such massive kelp plants, their stalks approaching the surface of the water ... you don’t find such off Alaska these days, let alone some giant crab....

MAGILLA GORILLA, likewise: How exactly it is that I took up with Peter Potamus’ crowd and joined such a crazy diving troupe is anybody’s guess ... especially after the near-fiasco with the surfer crowd at Gremmie Gulch, if you still remember that one. But for a gorilla like myself, sensing such spectacular kelp groves as these has got to be something new.

[We soon can discern Peter Potamus pointing out a surprising-looking underwater cave about 30 feet down, which finds a couple of sea otters at play as if guarding the cave for some reason otherwise mysterious]

PETER POTAMUS, commenting on the discovery: I could never get too much over this moment of a couple of rather playful sea otters, part of a rather substantial colony which inhabits Monterey Bay, acting as if they were guards to some underwater treasure not otherwise known among the diving crowd here ... but somehow, those sea otters, once hunted almost to extinction for fur pelts, can get to be rather likable critters.... ohhh, here comes one such, pointing out a bed of abalone shells somehow interesting-looking ...

And we could never get over such oversized kelp groves, reminding me of those giant redwood trees in Yosemite and further northward in California, past San Francisco even ... [Witness the sheer astonishment of all in the party at such a kelp forest as they never experienced before, not even off Catalina ... and with twilight coming on, time to surface ... eventually to find our party hilariously reacting to a warm-up fire in a fire pit at a park near Point Lobos beach, with some chicken stock heated up as well]

I must certainly admit, though, for the experience, Point Lobos would have to be the kind of dive stretching all possible adjectives just to describe such diversity of marine life ... even when a couple of sea otters jealously looking like guards to an Aladdin’s Cave of sorts underwater turn out being playful. Even if one such tried to bite at my finger, which, thankfully, was gloved.

[And even as twilight descends on Monterey Bay, the Lone Cypress can still be discerned in clear view, a sort of sentinel of the Monterey Bay experience ... even as the whole pans out aerially to find the last sunset rays discerning in the waters of Monterey Bay and the Pacific to finish out this episode.]

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rachieandthewaves · 5 years

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The StarKidverse (conceived from my sixteen year old mind)

so um I saw on twitter that @thatsthat24 was interested in seeing some Starkid multiverse theories. Since the announcement of Black Friday, which takes place in Hatchetfield like TGWDLM, people are pretty excited about the idea of a shared universe of Starkid musicals. I came up with one when I was sixteen and found it in the depths of my OneNote. I decided to revive it for the kicks and I’ve updated it accordingly to recent musicals. Let me know your thoughts!

FIRSTLY

The evidence that Starkid musicals exist in the same universe:

In every musical, characters say "Gasp!" instead of actually gasping.

Whenever there’s a chase scene, they face the audience and run on the spot.

They each have their own unconventional view on religion (in Starship, they believe God is dead. In AVPM they have "wizard God." " etc.)

Some characters are aware they are in a musical and can communicate with the audience (Aladdin, Ron Weasley, Ja'far, the Dad in Trail to Oregon etc.)

Without further ado, let’s get started.

ANI

ANI is the definite proof that some musicals do share a universe with others, as they make reference to Starship (the girls auditioning as slaves make a joke about Bug’s home planet, Geonosis)

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, there was a war of the stars taking place

This advanced civilization had mastered biological engineering and space travel, as shown in the events of ANI: A Parody

During this time period, these space-faring people began searching for other systems to colonize.

One of them was our solar system.Originally, they tried colonizing on Mars, where they built a school, but soon realized that it was unsuitable for life.

FIREBRINGER

The advanced civilization then discovered Earth, which was suitable for life. A representative of the space people was sent down to Earth (Chorn) to live in prehistoric America and see if humanity was worthy of ancient power and knowledge.

However, humanity in its early stages was violent and chaotic. While leaders like Jamilla advocated for logic, peace and duty, Zazzalil relied on optimism, leisure and hope.

Once humanity realized that progress could not be achieved without both, Chorn bestowed the first community of humans with ancient power and knowledge using a Jedi mind trick.

For many years, the first community of people helped develop humanity into prosperity. While science, logic and reasoning helped us understand the world, wishes, dreams and belief helped us improve the world.

After a while, the first community achieved biological engineering and became supernaturally powered beings. They developed devices to harness their powers, called "wands"

During the Salem Witch Trials, the first community were denounced as "witches and wizards" and their scientific advancements were deemed as "magic." As a result, they lived in hiding in one place in America, where their community continued to grow and thrive.

While these gifted natives became a thriving community of innovation and pioneers, the development of the result of the world became dramatically slower.

THE TRAIL TO OREGON

By the 19th century, humanity's progress had halted. Diseases such as dysentery were rampant.

While the rest of the world was in shit, there was one state in the world that was rich in scientific discovery; Oregon.

This was the place where humanity was first gifted with ancient knowledge and power. Firebringer takes place in prehistoric Oregon.

Since Chorn healed Grunt’s arm, the settlers of Oregon had made terrific advancements in medicine that mend ailments almost instantaneously.

This is also why, when Father/Mother/Son/Grandpa crossed the county line after dying of dysentery, they were instantly revived by the sheer power of Oregon.

The natives in Oregon were afraid that if they exposed their magical ways and advanced technology to humanity, they would be rejected.

Little did they know, more magic people were being born around the world as a diaspora emanated from Oregon

By 2009, they set up a secret school for these genetically enhanced individuals for their safety.

AVPM/AVPS/AVPSY

For a long time, the witches and wizards lived in peace and secrecy. It was during this time they discovered the early concepts of time travel (the time turner), created advanced artificial intelligence (The Hat and Scarfy) and had mastered space travel to visit and take control of the Jedi school on Mars.

This was the First Golden Age for people descended from the Oregon natives, because it was an era of great prosperity and peace.

In case you hadn’t guessed, Pigfarts was the failed colonization effort on Mars.

In 2012, during the events of A Very Potter Senior Year, Gilderoy Lockhart exposed the wizarding world to humans.

HOLY MUSICAL B@MAN!

This is when the theory goes a little bit sideways in terms of timelines.

According to my theory, Holy Musical Batman would be set post-2012 but Alfred mentions that the year was 1997. However, the presence of smart phones and Barack Obama contradicts this statement, therefore I’m guessing he was just confused about the year.

Basically, humanity is very accepting of the wizarding world.

They used their gifts to help defend the world.

This also established Earth as a universal pinnacle for acceptance of the abnormal, attracting alien life such as Superman.

became known as superheroes and supervillains and began to integrate into modern society.

Some superheroes used their innate Oregon-originated gifts to fight crime. However, the widespread usage of Oregon-based technology made crime-fighting possible for billionaires like Batman.

This era became known as the Second Golden Age. After the formation of The Super Friends, it was the first time that humans and superheroes (the Oregon natives) had cooperated with each other.

But many ordinary people were jealous of their gifts and tried becoming villains themselves; many of them with “shitty” themes as they could not afford Oregon technology. As a result, the villain crime rate went through the roof.

Humanity blamed the superheroes for the rise of a dangerous new world order and decided to eradicate them

They tried harnessing their technology for their own malevolent purposesThey started using young people in their experiments and reproduce genetically enhanced individuals of their own, but the experiments had a very different effect on reproductive organs.

ME AND MY DICK

The experiments produced a small community of people with anthropomorphic hearts, dicks and pussies

These young people tried living their daily life but they were shunned for their reproductive organs (this is why fictional Joey Richter is afraid of introducing Dick to people and is amazed when he learns Sally has an anthropomorphic vagina of her own.)

As a result, the reproductive organs were forced to start their own society and warned any human who discovered it against telling anybody in fear of persecution. (These worlds had their own governing systems such as the Council of the Pussies.)

THE GUY WHO DIDN’T LIKE MUSICALS

The original space-faring species that gave humanity ancient power and wisdom saw the bastardization of their gift on earth.

Their gift had led to mutilation, unethical scientific experimentation, prejudice, corruption and crime. As a result, they decided to return to Earth and correct the mess themselves.

They thought that humanity could not be trusted with its own freedom and decided to enslave humanity using song and dance; a creation originating from Firebringer and something the aliens thought would bring humanity together, just as it did back then.

STARSHIP

Humans eventually responded brutally. They used Oregon technology to develop robots to fight the alien invaders. However, when the alien threat was gone, the robots turned on their creators and ignited a “robot war” with all of humankind.

During the Robot Wars, The Super Friends were defeated. With nobody to protect them, in order to combat the robots, the humans developed a space agency called G.L.E.E., used for conquering and colonizing other planets. The agency was controlled by an evil leader named Doctor Spaceclaw.

During the events of Starship, Bug and February fell in love and returned to the starship together. On their many travels across the galaxy, they discovered many different relics, such as an sentient carpet and a lamp containing a god-like being called a Djin.

When they returned to earth, February and Bug hid their treasures and settled down in a cave; an itty-bitty living space far away from the conflict. Only February and Bug could access the cave and the treasure.

Eventually, Doctor Spaceclaw discovered the lovers' treachery. They were captured, experimented on and turned into one golden scarab (a bug.) Therefore, they became the key to the cave.

TWISTED

Years later, the robots were defeated and humanity had to rebuild the earth from the ashes.

Generations of mating between the natives and ordinary humans had cancelled out the starkids' magic abilities.

This new world order of kingdoms was started by corrupt leaders like Doctor Spaceclaw, now known as “sultans.” Therefore, the world became a superficial place full of privilege and poverty. The effects of the cheery, delusional alien influence of TGWDLM were still prevelant, as most people valued whimsy and optimism over practicality and reality.

The story of the two lovers that Scheherazade tells Ja’far is the story of Bug and February. They are the golden scarab.

In the end, Ja'far entrusted the power of sultan to a person who believed in both the value of duty and science and hope and belief; The Princess. She is able to unite everyone and eliminate division in the kingdom by declaring everyone a princess, thus leading to the Third Golden Age.

Bear in mind, I was sixteen when I came up with most of this theory so don’t hold back if you have criticisms.

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whencyclopedia · 3 years

Photo

Manila Galleon

The Manila galleons were Spanish treasure ships which transported precious goods like silk, spices, and porcelain from Manila in the Philippines to Acapulco, Mexico, between 1565 and 1815. The bi-annual Atlantic treasure fleet then shipped some of these goods – along with silver, gold, and other precious materials extracted from the Americas – on to Spain. The Manila galleons, meanwhile, returned to the Philippines each year loaded with silver to buy more goods for the next trip. Manila galleons going in either direction were a floating Aladdin's cave of treasures and so they tempted many a pirate and privateer but, such was their armament, only four were ever captured at sea.

#ManilaGalleon #Galleon #Philippines

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hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger · 6 years

Note

Have you ever gone on the Spider-Man ride at Universal?

Have I ever gone on the Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man ride at Universal’s Islands of Adventure theme park in Florida?

That thing that I have a 2001 photo of near my bed and have had it there since 2001?

Er...only like 8 times!

Sit down and let me spin you a tale.

Long before there was a Spider-Man movie, long before I knew there was GOING to be one, I found out about the ride at like age 9-10.

It then became my life’s dream to go on that ride. And I do mean dream because I lived in England and my family at the time were living with my grandparents home as we slowly built our new house, a feat that took 2 years so we didn’t have the cash to spare on a big holiday like that.

One of the most crushing childhood memories I have is when there were vague discussions of a holiday to Florida with our closest family friends. But that fell through and I had to live with almost getting to go on that ride. I eagerly scoured our family friends’ holiday photos for a mere glimpse of the Spider-Man ride but nothing!

Remember this was the late 1990s/early 2000s, there was no Youtube and your internet connection was a joke, even if I knew how to use it.

But by the Summer of 2001 we’d finished our new home and moved out. And we finally decided to go to Florida with our family friends...and two other groups of family friends for a two-week mega vacation hitting all the Disney and Universal parks and other tourist attractions (which for us included a bona fide American ‘mall’).

I enjoyed Disney’s MGM studios and Animal Kingdom, but I was waiting for the day we’d hit up Islands of Adventure.

And then the day finally came and I was sure something was going to go wrong and get in my way.

First it was the lines to get into the park.

Then it was being confronted by some admittedly well meaning actors portraying Boris and Natasha from Rocky and Bullwinkle, trying to engage me in conversation when I just. Wanted. To. Get. To. Spider-Man!

And when I finally arrived at SUPER HERO ISLAND it seemed insane. For some reason in my child’s mind the idea of a theme park where every corner you looked and built into the street itself you’d see Disney characters, made sense.

But to see that for my heroes, the Marvel characters just didn’t seem real. Remember this was 2001, the Marvel Universe wasn’t as well known to the public (especially not in England). So whilst I had of course learned about it from all the 90s Marvel cartoons, no one else I knew could instantly recognize like Doctor Doom.

But here I was seeing Jim Lee inspired art of him, Storm, the Hulk and a gigantic Bagley image of Spider-Man in front of THE Daily Bugle!

But alas...the Spider-Man line was immense.

So we got a fast pass and arranged it to come back later and in the meantime I got to be traumatized by the Jurassic Park water drop ride. I was in the front seat age 10 with a T-rex approaching me and then...the ride stopped. Technical difficulties. In fact MOST rides that summer were having technical difficulties.

So we were stuck a T-rex looming over us. Unnoticed by me everyone else on the ride seemed to take a grip and bow their heads. I didn’t get why until it was too late and my eyes sharply turned from the T-rex to the like 60 foot high sheer drop as the ride came down with a splash.

Far less traumatic was getting a photo and autographs with the various superheroes and villains who showed up at Marvel’s Super Hero Island. Of course I got to meet the real Spider-Man...and my mother asked how Mary jane was.

His reply:

You’d have to ask Peter Parker about that

Fucking A.

Anyway, finally, finally, finally we got in the fast pass line for the ride. Which still wasn’t THAT fast but still we weren’t baking alive in the summer heat. And as a bonus I got to take in the surroundings of the Daily Bugle and the 1994 inspired animated shorts made for the ride explaining the whole story behind it (including my first ever look at Scream, a brand new symbiote I’d never even known about!).

Then we got to the ride. It was thrilling, the best feeling of my life. I was on an adventure with my hero Spider-Man! And we were all falling through the roof tops, spinning around and then...

We are sorry to inform you we are experiencing technical difficlties

The ride just stopped DEAD.

In hindsight I suppose it was all too appropriate.

I wanted to experience what it was like to be Spider-Man and now I was going through some typical Parker luck!

A few minutes elapsed before we all yelled because a literal burst of flame exploded nearby us, the ride had started again.

It finished up and I don’t think I’d ever been happier in my life.

But I was about to be because due to the technical difficulties...we got to go again without lining up!

Whilst my family, friends and family friends in attendance enjoyed the ride well enough (except for my friend’s Dad, he’s always had chronic back pains) they all knew this day, this moment, was for me!

And it wasn’t quite over yet.

As we walked down the corridor towards the gift shop we saw...the Green Goblin!

It was a lifesized statue standing just besides the doorway to the gift shop, presumably set up so people could get photos with him.

Well, he was my favourite villain so I had to. I stood beside the statue and posed when...he came to life!

It was one of the actors who’d accompanied the heroes on their periodic arrivals to the Super Hero Island for photos and autographs.

Somehow this was less traumatic than the Jurassic Park ride. I asked for his autograph and he obliged, plunking his pumpkin bomb bean bag onto my head to free up his hands.

Fucking awesome.

And this didn’t even cover the gift shop itself.

I’d never seen so much Spider-Man STUFF in the same place at the same time. I got myself a Green Goblin action figure from the now defunct (but fondly remembered by Marvel Toy historians) Spider-Man Classics line of toys and picked up my very, very first trade paperback (before I even knew that’s what it was!)

Spider-Man’s greatest Villains

It was an eclectic collection of single issues (and one annual) spotlighting an individual villain. Doc Ock, Mysterio, Kingpin, Electro, Hobgoblin, Vulture and mah boys Carnage and Venom (drawn by McFarlane himself, in my first exposure to his work, it left a major impression!)

Being a child f the 1990s and specifically the 1994 cartoon (which was the most recent and influential adaptation at the time, merchandise for it abounding in the store) Venom and Carnage were among my absolute favourite...things in life basically.

I wasn’t alone because just about every Spider-Fan my age loved them too. Hence why getting toys based on them proved elusive for me. And Spider-Man’s bad ass super mega ultra cool black costume even moreso. I’d long resigned myself that getting that toy was just a pipe dream and I’d missed my window for it long ago...Less than 15 minutes after leaving the gift shop my Dad got me this:

There were at least two other stores around the area of the Spider-Man ride and one of them sold toys and other collectibles.

Not only did I fulfill another childhood dream of having a black costume Spider-Man, but the toy even came with a SYMBIOTE toy too! And it was super posable, unlike all my other toys, including my Spider-Man ones.

AND...it came with a reprint of ASM #252, the debut of the black costume itself by DeFalco and Frenz and starring Black Cat too. An all round awesome issue and one of the first classic Spider-Man stories I ever got to read.*

The other of the two nearby stores was what an older me would call a relatively modest LCS, as it wasn’t that big of a store and sold ONLY comics and trades.

But you have to understand, 10 year old me had NEVER been inside an LCS. The idea that so many comics could be in the same place and that a store JUST selling them could exist was akin to the Cave of Wonders from Aladdin, something that could only ever exist, not just in America (the land where Spider-Man and all those other characters I loved, were from) but specifically there on Super Hero Island.

The rest of the day was pretty fun.

My friend somehow coerced her mother and mine to go on the Incredible Hulk roller coaster which I believe at the time was the tallest roller coaster in America, with this savage twist in the middle of it and a net to catch keys and other falling items.

We went on the Popeye ride, one of those rubber dingy rides that is supposed to splash you a lot and...I do not know if I’ve ever felt more wet in my life.

All in all it was a good day and I vividly remember being in one of the restaurants on the boulevard leading up to the theme park (a Three Supremes themed place for some reason, with wax statues of the band nearby our table) just pouring over my new toys, my new comics and my experience.

Best day of my life up until then!

Hell the ‘after party’ when we finally got back to England was awesome too. My beloved grandmother had bought me the latest issue of Astonishing Spider-Man that I wasn’t able to pick up whilst I was away. Who was the villain of the story?

Carnage!...Also Silver Surfer was there and he was pretty cool too.

It wasn’t the last time I went on the ride though.

My family and family friends made it an annual tradition between about 2002-2008 to spend the Christmas holidays in America and every year up until 2006 we spent some time in Orlando, meaning I got to check out the Spider-Man ride at least once every year and pick up a new trade and a bona fide original American comic book (not a reprint!) off the stands.**

So to answer your question definitively, yes I have indeed gone on the Spider-Man ride at Universal. I’ve done so many times and the ride and location are incredibly special to me.

*When I say classic I mean anything from before like 1995 because the stories I’d been reading in my UK reprint magazine, Astonishing Spider-Man, were all from 1995-1998, except for when they specifically spotlighted an older comic and referred to it as a classic. To me a classic was anything with ‘older art’.

**This experience led to me getting one of my favourite stories ever, Revenge of the Green Goblin, the second JMS trade with the 9/11 issue and Aunt May and Peter’s conversation, and also Kraven’s Last Hunt and Spider-Man Torment.

I fondly remember reading KLH whilst walking between rides and shows in Islands of Adventure and Universal Studios, I even remember I was reading part 2 or 3 at like a Wild West show at the latter after dark and somehow this added to the atmosphere of the story.

Torment was a different experience. I’d seen the cover, I knew and loved McFarlane’s art and the story turned out to be a sequel to KLH to my delight. But I had a really bad stomach bug during that particular vacation and Torment helped me get through it. Half because it was a Spider-Man story I loved reading and half because the pain of my bug led me to relate to Peter’s pain in that story.

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mergerecords · 6 years

Video

youtube

Ex Hex is back! It's been a while, but the power trio is back with their sophomore album It's Real. Listen to the amazing "Cosmic Cave" now at digital services and pre-order the album on digital, CD, LP, and Peak Vinyl. The latter is pressed on limited-edition “rainbow shiner” (magenta and blue swirl) vinyl and it's only available from the Merge Store or independent record stores. http://smarturl.it/ItsReal

The band will traverse North America in the spring and head to the U.K. in late May. Check the schedule ⬇︎

Ex Hex on tour:⠀ Apr 02 Richmond, VA – Richmond Music Hall⠀ Apr 03 Philadelphia, PA – Union Transfer⠀ Apr 04 New York, NY – Bowery Ballroom⠀ Apr 05 Portsmouth, NH – The Press Room⠀ Apr 06 Montreal, QC – l’Escogriffe⠀ Apr 07 Toronto, ON – Horseshoe Tavern⠀ Apr 09 Ferndale, MI – Loving Touch⠀ Apr 10 Chicago, IL – Thalia Hall⠀ Apr 11 Madison, WI – High Noon⠀ Apr 12 Minneapolis, MN – Turf Club⠀ Apr 13 Omaha, NE – Reverb⠀ Apr 15 Denver, CO – Bluebird Theatre⠀ Apr 17 Boise, ID – Neurolux⠀ Apr 18 Portland, OR – Aladdin⠀ Apr 19 Vancouver, BC – Biltmore⠀ Apr 20 Seattle, WA – Crocodile⠀ Apr 23 San Francisco, CA – Great American Music Hall⠀ Apr 24 Fresno, CA – Strummer’s⠀ Apr 25 Los Angeles, CA – Teragram Ballroom⠀ Apr 26 Tustin, CA – Marty’s on Newport⠀ Apr 27 Phoenix, AZ – Rebel Lounge⠀ Apr 28 Tucson, AZ – Club Congress⠀ Apr 30 Austin, TX – Barracuda⠀ May 01 Dallas, TX – Curtain Club⠀ May 03 Nashville, TN – Exit/In⠀ May 04 Asheville, NC – The Grey Eagle⠀ May 05 Carrboro, NC – Cat’s Cradle⠀ May 09 Brooklyn, NY – Elsewhere⠀ May 10 Washington, DC – 9:30 Club⠀ May 28 London, UK – Village Underground

#ex hex #it's real #new music #cosmic cave #mary timony #betsy wright #helium #bat fangs #wild flag

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whitepolaris · 3 years

Text

Emerald City

Well, “Emerald Town,” anyway. Hiddenite, NC, is the home of Jamie Hill, a.k.a., the Rockhound with the Green Thumb. Hills owns a tract of less than fifty acres on which he has discovered some of the world’s largest emeralds, both in terms in size (a ten-inch twin crystal discovered in 2006) and weight (an 1,861.9 carat “hog’s leg” he found in 2003). Hill had already found the previous record holder in the 1980s (1,686 carats), as well as some of the most valuable emeralds ever mined in North America-the 858-carat Empress Caroline and another 71-carat stone that was subsequently cut into two stones, the 7.85-carat Carolina Prince (which sold for $500,000), and the 18.88-carat Carolina Queen, valued at a million dollars. And there may be more to come. Hill has recently discovered and began exploring a crystal-lined cavern on his mining property that he calls Aladdin’s Cave. he’s convinced it will hold yet more amazing treasures.

Hiddenite itself is named for another green gemstone, named in turn for mineralogist W.E. Hidden, who discovered it while hunting for platinum. Hidden had been hired by inventor Thomas Edison to survey various mineral locales for rare metals to be used in Edison’s incandescent light manufactures. The mineral hiddenite is one of the rarest gems on earth, and has been found only on two acres in North Carolina and in extreme small deposits in Madagascar and Brazil.

North Carolina is also the home of the world’s largest sapphire, which weighs 385 pounds. It is located in Franklin, an area famous for rubies.

#weird carolinas #type read

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redsun55 · 3 years

Text

Redsun55 Stream Music Info

“Roundup On the Prairie” by Aaron Kenny

“River Crossing” by ALBIS

“Daudir”, “Towards the Horizon” by Alexander Nakarada

“Extreme Energy” by Anwar Amr

“Banjo Kazooie - Title/Intro + Medley (Remix)” by Ben Zimmerman

“Going Higher”, “Happy Rock”, “A New Beginning” by Bensound

“Hooky With Sloane” by Bird Creek

“New Bark Town (Lofi - Remix)” by Blizzn

“Woody Woods (8-Bit; VRC6) - Mario Party 3″ by Branflakes

“Meanwhile Back At the Saloon”, “Rattlesnake Railroad” by Brett Van Donsel

“Battle of Heroes”, “Imperials Marching”, “Luke vs. Vader”, “Opening”, “Phantom of the Bricks” by BrickTrick

“Davy Jones Theme (LoFi Pirates of the Caribbean)” by Cadred

“Super Mario Land (Lo-Fi Instrumental)” by Chew Chew Beats

“Campfire Song”, “Firefly”, “Tumbleweed Texas”, “Tupelo Train”, “Way Out West” by Chris Haugen

“Rock Thing” by Creo

“Donkey Kong Country Theme (DJ AG Remix)” by DJ AG

“Chapstick”, “The Gunfight” by Everet Almond

“Battles of the Generations”, “A Dog and His Duck”, “It’s a Small World (Geshtro Remix)”, “Kongo Beat”, “Lavender Town”, “The One-Winged Angel”, “Overworld (Super Mario Bros. 2 [Geshtro Remix]”, “Spindashing Hills”, “Spooks of the Pumpkin King”, “Super Sarasaland Jam”, “There Are Mobs Nearby”, “Triforce Mania”, “Up Towards Spiral Mountain”, “Wakka Walking”, “1-Up Smash” by Geshtro

“No Secrets”, “See You Tomorrow” by GoSoundtrack

“Pirates of the Caribbean (Lo-Fi Version)” by Hazar

“Cianwood City”, “Danny”, “Dire Dire Docks”, “Mice On Venus”, “National Park”, “Overworld”, “Piranha Plant Lullaby”, “Staff Roll”, “Subwoofer Lullaby”, “Sweden”, “Wet Hands” by Helynt

“Mayan Temple (Banjo & Kazooie - Mayahem Temple Remix)” by Howard Treesound

“Dear Death”, “Force of Habit”, “Significant”, “Sleep Deprivation”, “A Song About a Friend”, “The Stars in the Sky Resemble the Thoughts in My Mind”, “These Four Walls in My Head”, “Untitled”, “We Are Inevitable” by The Inevitable

“Bastila’s Struggle”, “Emond’s Field”, “Faeries”, “Glimpsing Into the One Power”, “Infiltrating the Empire”, “Into the Heart”, “Lost in the Desert (Lost on Tatooine)”, “Mirage”, “Revan’s Tribulations”, “The Streets of Baerlon” by Ivan Duch

“Locally Sourced”, “World Map” by Jason Farnham

“Acoustic Guitar #1″, “Crying in My Beer”, “Green Daze”, “Lazy Day”, “Marathon Man” by Jason Shaw (Audionautix)

“Tuscon Tease” by John Deley and the 41 Players

“Song of Storms (Lofi Hip Hop Remix)” by Jonas Munk Lindbo & GameChops

“Moonshine Town” by JR Tundra

“Jungle Japes Remastered (Donkey Kong 64 Orchestral Remix)” by JustRyland

“Colorado (Mickey’s Speedway USA Remix)”, Mickey’s Speedway USA Orchestration [”Chicago”, “Colorado”, “Grand Canyon”, “Hawaii”, “Washington D.C.”, “Yellowstone”], “New Bark Town (Pokemon HGSS Orchestration)” by Keatonkg360

“Drankin Song”, “Montauk Peak” by Kevin MacLeod

“Cactus in the Valley (Piano Cover)”, “Destiny 2 Beyond Light Main Theme (Piano Cover)”, “Hot Air Balloon (Piano Cover)”, “I See the Light (Piano Cover With Guitar)”, “Let It Go (Demi Lovato Version) [Piano Cover]”, “Let It Go (Idina Menzel Version) [Piano Cover]”, “Memphis May Fire Medley (Select Songs From Challenger) [Piano Cover]”, “Oswald’s Theme (Piano Cover)”, “Sailboats (Piano Cover)”, “Who Else Will I Have Ice Cream With (Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days Medley)”, “Wreck-It Ralph Main Theme (Mario Paint Composer Cover)” by Kyukiemusic

“Everyone You Know”, “Hey Sailor”, “Your Voice is American” by Letter Box

Banjo Kazooie Soundfont [”Amazing Grace”, “America”, “America the Beautiful”, “Arabian Nights”, “Bad Romance”, “The Battle Hymn of the Republic”, “A Bug’s Life”, “Cantina Band”, “Deck the Halls”, “Diddy Kong Racing Theme”, “Donut Plains”, “DuckTales Theme”, “Foggy Mountain Breakdown”, “Fortress & Castle”, “Friend Like Me”, “Frosty the Snowman”, “Fur Elise”, “Ghost House”, “God Bless the USA”, “He’s a Pirate”, “Holly Jolly Christmas”, “Home On the Range”, “Hyrule Field Theme”, “I Bring You a Song”, “In the Hall of the Mountain King”, “Independence Day”, “Inside the Castle Walls”, “Jingle Bell Rock”, “Jingle Bells”, “Koopalings”, “Lavender Town”, “Little April Showers”, “Lon Lon Ranch”, “Lost Woods”, “Love is a Song”, “May the Fourth Be With You”, “The Misty Mountains Cold”, “Ode to Joy”, “Oh Holy Night”, “Oh Susanna”, “One Jump Ahead”, “Pomp and Circumstance”, “The Power of Love”, “Prince Ali”, “Rainbow Connection”, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”, “Sally’s Song”, “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town”, “The Star-Spangled Banner”, “Strip It Down”, “Super Mario World Bonus Theme”, “Super Mario World Ending Theme”, “Super Mario World Special World Theme”, “Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Theme”, “There’s a Star-Spangled Banner”, “This is Halloween”, “Turkish March”, “Underwater”, “United States Anthem”, “Vanilla Dome”, “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”, “When the Saints Go Marchin’ In”, “A Whole New World”, “Yankee Doodle”, “5th Symphony”], Banjo-Tooie Remixes [”Game Select”, “Intro”, “Mayhem Temple”, “Ordnance Storage (MuseScore 3 Remix)”, “Ordnance Storage (SNES Remix)”, “Title Screen (Bluegrass Remix)”, “Title Screen (Christmas Remix)”, “Title Screen (Fairgrounds Remix)”], Diddy Kong Racing Soundfont [”Krook’s March”, “Los Angeles”, “Phineas and Ferb Theme”], Donkey Kong 64 Remixes [”Angry Aztec”, “Army Dillo”, “Banana Fairy Isle (Version 3)”, “Battle Arena”, “Bonus Barrel”, “Candy’s Music Store”, “Cranky’s Lab”, “Credits”, “Creepy Castle”, “Crystal Caves”, “DK Isle”, “DK Rap”, “DK’s Treehouse”, “Frantic Factory (Version 3)”, “Fungi Forest Day (Version 2)”, “Gloomy Galleon”, “Hideout Helm”, “Jungle Japes”, “Jungle Japes Mine Cart”, “K. Lumsy”, “K. Rool Final Battle”, “King Kut Out”, “Krem Isle”, “Mad Jack”, “Main Menu”, “Monkey Smash”, “Pause Menu”, “Snide’s HQ”, “Troff ‘n’ Scoff (Version 3)”, “Wrinkly Kong”], Donkey Kong 64 Soundfont [”Battle of the Heroes”, “Bohemian Rhapsody”, “Chim Chim Cheree”, “Circle of Life”, “Cranky’s Theme”, “Crocodile Cacophany”, “DK Island Swing”, “Drunken Sailor”, “Duel of the Fates”, “Eye of the Tiger”, “Feed the Birds”, “Gang-Plank Galleon”, “Gotta Go Fast”, “Hakuna Matata”, “Imperial March”, “The Incredibles Theme”, “Life is a Highway”, “My Heart Will Go On”, “Never Gonna Give You Up”, “Oogie Boogie’s Song”, “Pink Panther Theme”, “The Scare Floor”, “The Star-Spangled Banner”, “Stickerbrush Symphony”, “Take On Me”, “Toccata and Fugue in D Minor”, “Victory Celebration”, “Yoda’s Theme”], Donkey Kong Country Soundfont [”Be Prepared”, “Can You Feel the Love Tonight”, “Creepy Castle”, “Donkey Kong Land Boss”, “Gruntilda’s Lair”, “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King”, “Jungle Japes”, “Koopa’s Road”, “Spiral Mountain”], “Freezeezy Peak (Remix)”, “Los Angeles (Mario Kart 64 Soundfont)”, “Mickey Mouse March (Mickey’s Speedway USA Soundfont)”, “Across the Stars (Star Fox 64 Soundfont)”, Super Mario 64 Soundfont [”Athletic”, “Banjo-Kazooie Theme”, “Character Select”, “Davy Jones”, “Faithfully”, “Immortals”, “Independence Day”, “Jump”, “Life is a Highway”, “Look Through My Eyes”, “Ode to Joy”, “Overworld”, “Pokemon Theme”, “Poor Jack”, “Rainbow Cruise”, “Ride of the Valkyries”, “Son of Man”, “Stairway to Heaven”, “Star Trek”, “Sweden”, “Waluigi Pinball & Wario Stadium”], Super Mario Bros. Soundfont [”Aladdin Medley”, “Banjo-Kazooie Main Theme”, “Fur Elise”, “The Lion King Medley”, “Never Gonna Give You Up”, “One More Time”, “Overworld (Super Mario Bros. 2)”, “Overworld (Super Mario World)”], Super Mario World Soundfont [”Aquatic Ambience”, “Endless Staircase”, “Fur Elise”, “Indiana Jones Theme”, “Star Trek”, “Turkish March”, “William Tell Overture”, “You’ve Got a Friend in Me”] by Matthew the Music Fan 2021

“Happy Mandolin” by Media Right Productions

“Pokemon Gym”, “Azalea Town”, “Ecruteak City”, “Fairy Fountain”, “Kakariko Village”, “Legend of Zelda Main Theme”, “Lost Woods”, “National Park”, “Ocarina of Time”, “Song of Storms”, “Title Screen”, “Zelda’s Lullaby” by Mikel

“Divided Soldiers” by MrDinko

“Waluigi’s Island - Mario Party 3″ by MusicalWolfe

“Complete OST Remix From Donkey Kong (NES)” by Nintempo

“Three Kinds of Suns” by Norma Rockwell

“Destiny Island (Chill/Lofi Remix)”, “Traverse Town (Lofi Mix)” by Original Kyle

“Escape From the Temple”, “Queen of the Night” by Per Kiilstofte

“Waluigi Pinball (Player2 Remix)” by Player2 & GameChops

“Spiral Mountain (Remix)”, “Super Mario Bros. 2 Overworld (Remix)”, “Super Mario Bros. 3 Overworld (Remix)”, “Super Mario Land Overworld (Birabuto Kingdom) [Remix]”, “Treasure Trove Cove (Remix/Cover)” by Qumu

“File Select Lofi”, “Main Theme Lofi”, “Overworld Lofi”, “Star Theme Lofi” by Rifti Beats

“Blizzards”, “Southern California”, “Target Practice” by Riot

“Monochrome Dreams/Timeless River Remix” by RiserEmilioX

“After the Battle”, “The Alpaca Hunter”, “The Astral Plane”, “Aug”, “Bahamut’s Realm”, “Bastil”, “The Beach”, “Becoming Myth and Legend”, “Ben’s True Form”, “The Black Adder”, “Bludvaren”, “The Boy and His Bear”, “Brain Dead”, “Brunhilde Hearthome”, “The Bugbears”, “Bysil”, “Cedar Country Intro”, “Charge!”, “The Church”, “Don’t Fear the Muzak”, “Dr. Frank Enstein, III”, “The Dugars”, “Ending in Little Whiskey”, “False Abigail”, “False Bahamut”, “Governor Gill”, “Grimm”, “Gunpowder”, “G-Reap (Instrumental)”, “Into the Dark”, “Jack”, “Jack’s Metal Wagon”, “Jarus”, “Joan Redsun”, “Killing the Monster”, “Maleocholas”, “Michael”, “Michael, First Paladin of Bahamut”, “Mind Flayer”, “Mystery of the Deer Carcass”, “Ornon Released”, “The Other Side of the Puddle”, “The Plains of Doom”, “The Portal Opened”, “Pretty Boring”, “Queen Arlana”, “Rainley”, “Reanimation”, “Rebuilding Rhomash”, “Rhomash Defeats the Skeleton Horde”, “Rhomash Scarbearer”, “A Riddle”, “Rise of a Lich”, “Robbing Reach Trust”, “Sage”, “Seebo Turel Nim”, “Throne Room”, “To War”, “The Story of St. Sauna”, “Vampire”, “Vassanoka”, “Welcome to Bludvaren”, “The Werewolf”, “West’s Port”, “Wolf’s Hold Bar Piano” by RJ Moore (Redsun55)

“Dearly Beloved” by RoboRob

“The Wild West” by Ross Bugden

“Galactic” by Seb Jaeger

“The Buccaneer’s Haul” by Shane Ivers

“Awakening”, “Calgary Hill”, “Cut It”, “Daisy Dukes”, “DC Love Go-Go”, “Drop and Roll”, “The Engagement”, “Eviction”, “Grand Navy Plaza”, “Harvest Time”, “Heartland”, “Highway Danger”, “Humidity”, “Log Cabin”, “Open Wide”, “Parasail”, “Runaways”, “Sawdust”, “Seasonal”, “Succotash”, “Sugar Zone”, “Tucson” by Silent Partner

“He’s a Pirate (LoFi Hip Hop)” by STNF Music

“Digital Gunslinger”, “Pirate Waves” by TeknoAXE

“Mickey in New Mexico (Mickey’s Speedway USA Remix)” by TheJayNinja

“Creepy Castle (LoFi Donkey Kong 64 Remix)” by Tingle’s Jingles

“Garage”, “Horses to Water”, “Stalling”, “Uptown” by Topher Mohr & Alex Elena

“Way Out West” by Twin Musicom

“Mars, the Bringer of War”, “Mercury, the Winged Messenger”, “Venus, the Bringer of Peace”, “Jupiter, the Bringer of Jollity”, “Uranus, the Magician” by The United States Air Force Heritage of America Band. The Planets orchestral suite tracks written by Gustav Holst, obtained from Wikimedia Commons https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:The_Planets_Suite

“The Pirate King” by Untold Journey

“Avocado Street”, “Despite the Traffic”, “Eagle Rock”, “One Down Dog” by Wes Hutchinson

“Beach Party”, “Redemption”, “Wild West”, “Destiny”, “Lonely Cowboy”, “New Lemon in Town”, “Seaside Beach”, “Wilderness Safari” by Zitronsound

“As We Go”, “Lonesome Avenue”, “My Sad Old Heart” by The 126ers

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