#alices300wc

[andwhatdostarsdobest]

raspberry i love you’s [t.h]

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: talking about the tensions within relationships

Summary: Is love always enough? The beginning of relationships are so exciting but how do you make them last?

Word Count: 4.2k

Prompt:  ‘Remember when we were kids and every I love you was true.’

This is my submission for @tom-holland-and-textposts writing challenge.  Flashbacks are in italics.  Thanks @uglypastels for reading through it and giving me the confidence to post

happy reading, lovelies 

masterlist

Time doesn’t hold back anymore.

You tilt your head to the right where your husband is crouching down, trying to pull the zipper up on your daughter’s coat. In your haste this morning you grabbed the one with the zipper that sticks. His cheeks grow hot with the effort, the red flush mingling with the lines that are now burrowed deep in his forehead and around his eyes. The once smooth face of a young man was irrevocably changing. The face that you fell in love with. You knew it was happening to you too. That’s what time does. It changes you into unrecognisable people, for better or worse.

That’s what most mornings are like, impatient. Rushed through to make sure everything was done in time for the start of the day. No time for stolen moments, secret kisses, shy glances or whispered I Love You’s. Just life and its fast-paced ways. Not that you were unhappy with it, but something had recently been playing on your mind. The question, is love always enough? It dances around your mind. At first you didn’t pay it no mind but then you started noticing things. Only small but still significant you thought.

Like the way his eyes no longer linger on you for a few extra seconds when you are getting changed. Like how he has stopped saying ‘finally I’m back home with my beautiful, Y/N’ and now just says ‘hey’ when he walks through the door. Like how seconds turn into minutes turn into hours when responding to a text.

Like how his I love you’s become less frequent.

All relationships have ebb and flow, whatever type they are. You can get complacent with someone but that just means you have to work harder to keep them. People always talk about the spark dying out as their reason for ending things, really that’s their excuse for not trying hard enough or not wanting to. No relationship is completely plain sailing, more of them would work out if they were.  So then, how do you know when your own relationship is going through one of these moments of blandness or if something bigger is on the horizon? Is love always enough?

 Contemplating this question, you can’t help but miss those early days. When love was all you needed and that bond felt invincible. When you first meet someone it's like a seed just beginning to sprout or a fire that's caught its first flame. Limitless potential. The mystery is part of the excitement. Everything is new and as such you pay extra close attention to it, memorising every little detail. Watching the way his body dances before you, the gentle roll and flex of the muscles along his back. How you could hear his breath catch in his throat when you locked onto his eyes and teased him mercilessly. Your skin burning at every graze of a fingertip as you could feel the energy transferring between the two of you.

Senses heightened and both on your best behaviours.

He was still beautiful to you but sometimes you both got lost and distracted with other things. You skip over those little details, time no longer allowing you to breathe them in.

Tom was still struggling with the zip, exasperated grunts filling the porch.

“Daddy, hurry, we’re going to be late,” your daughter whines.

“I’m trying,” Tom huffs.

With one final, triumphant tug the zip glides up the jacket, but the force takes Tom by surprise and he falls backwards, landing on his bum.

“Oww," he grumbles. He sits for a second rubbing his tailbone, his features screwed up as he waits for the pain to subside.

That kind of thing used to make you smile, his awkwardness, the clumsiness that comes with being such a goofball. But right now, you feel yourself checking your watch, impatient for them to get going.

People had always said that when you have kids every other part of your relationships takes a hit, you can’t spend as much time together, you start to dislike each other more and more, the love you have for each other is now channelled into your baby. You never believed them, there was no way you could ever stop loving your wonderful husband, Tom. And you didn’t. You knew that. But why did everything feel flatter these days, not bad, more like the sentimentality had been sucked from it.

You guess everyone experiences these times, where things feel uninspiring.

Relationships are multifaceted, they are like a story, with a beginning, middle and end and no one knows how to write the middle.

“What’s the matter, mummy?” Annie is staring up at you with the same brown eyes as Tom, the perfect shade.

You smile at her, softening your eyes and running a hand over her hair, “nothing, darling.”

“Good.” She pushes past you.

“Because we need to go, daddy. I don’t want to be late.” Annie pushes Tom trying to get him back to his feet, her minimal force having no real effect, but Tom playing up as if she the strongest person he’s ever met.

“Okay, okay,” he clambers to his feet, over dramatically rubbing his lower back, “even though I’m so injured and barely able to move.”

“No, daddy.” Annie places her hands on her hips, pouting.

You should be enjoying this sweet moment, but time was really playing on your mind.

Tom lunges forward and grabs your daughter round the waist and starts mercilessly tickling her.

“Stop,” she squeals.

He pauses and looks into her eyes, grinning, “alright, but only because we need to go.” He boops the end of her nose and she giggles.

“Come on then,” he reaches out his hand, which she takes, a great big grin spreading across her face.

Then he turns to you, puzzled at the expression that meets him.

Tears start to cloud your eyes and you try to blink them away discreetly.

“Love?” His voice is quieter. Annie looks between the two of you, still gripping Tom’s hand.

“Remember when we were kids and every I love you was true,” you blurt out.

You don’t mean to say it, but you do.

 It had reached that part in the evening where booze was being absorbed into people's bloodstreams and their inhibitions were lowing. A medley of 80's hits blared from the speakers and drink sloshed up the sides of cups as people begun to cut loose. No more so than Daniel, a particular brash co-worker of yours who was currently standing in the middle of the room, arms flailing with a recklessness that was kind of concerning and very telling of his desperate need for all attention on himself.

No matter how bad these parties got, and they got bad, you never felt exasperated at the thought of them. That was all thanks to Tom. He was your best friend. You could tell him anything. And he was your chance at respite in moments like these. Any moment he would find your eyes in the group of intoxicated workers and pull this face. A face you knew so well. A face that meant, ‘well this is crazy, but kind of funny too right?’

As if he could read your thoughts, he locked on to you with his beautiful brown eyes. His smile lines drawn down and eyebrows pulling together, the face. You returned his look with a little chuckle. Taking this as his queue, he started ducking and diving through all the people who stood between the two of you. Everyone was still contently watching Ethan make a tit of himself, sipping on their own drinks, leaning into their buzzed hum.

You watched Tom as he came towards you, watched as he intently tried to avoid everyone, considerate even when they weren’t. He glanced at you for one second sending sparks filtering through your body. Unfortunately, it was the wrong second because your most grumpy co-worker stepped back and Tom walked straight into him. You saw his face drop, his hands come up to his chest, half-formed stutters fell from his lips as he attempted to calm the storm cloud- that’s what everyone in the office called Hudson, he could ruin even the sunniest of days with his rumbling temper. For some reason, you thought may have to do with his constant pranks and joking around, Paul thoroughly disliked Tom. He found any excuse he could to erupt at him. That poor boy. But you had to admit it was rather funny to watch Tom squirm to the side, lost for words for once. He didn’t find it so funny, for obvious reasons.

After a string of apologies Tom managed to escape and practically ran towards you, blush still coating his cheeks, a slight layer of perspiration clasping at his baby hairs. He really didn’t like confrontation. He reached out his hand, fingers sliding across your bare arm, to reach safety sooner.

As he drew up in front of you, you noticed how the light reflected off his eyes, highlighting flecks of tawny swimming in hickory pools. And the artificial hum of the office lighting coated his skin making him look warm and inviting. Your gaze dropped to the hand resting on your arm, noting the vibrant purpling of the knuckles, fresh bruises from his boxing training the night before.

You both stood in comfortable silence for a few moments, not needing to speak, just connecting silently.

“You want to go someone else, hopefully quieter?” Tom asked.

You titled your head, unable to hear him over the deafening music and merriment around you, “huh?”

Tom leaned in closer, the faint smell of mint on his breath, “somewhere quieter?” he tried again.

That time you heard him, “oh yes, definitely.”

You had something you had been meaning to tell him all day. He’s the first person you thought of when it happened. He was always the first person you thought of.

“Great, go to the roof and I’ll meet you there in five minutes.”

One eyebrow raised, you asked, “why, what are you doing?”

Tom took a quick glance around the room before returning his gaze to you, “there is just something I have to do.”

Biting down on your lip, you cross your arms, “why are you being so secretive, Holland.”

“Nothing,” he breaks out into a smile, which you mirrored, “now just go.”

He started gently pushing you towards the door, but you dug your heels into the ground making it as hard as possible for him. Giggles now escaping from both of you.

“Come on.” His hands slid down to your waist and despite the laughter, you felt them there, pressed into you, a cold force covering your flesh. You didn’t want to notice them, but you did. His hands glided to the small of your back, applying more pressure, edging you closer to the door.

“I’m not going until you tell me what mysterious things you’re planning.”

The crinkles under his eyes grew deeper as he only responded with a curious smile.

You swivelled around, his hands still on your back, that force still at the forefront of your brain.

“Please, Tom, please,” you mock beg, “best friends share everything.”

He sighed.

“I’ll tell you when I get to the roof, how about that?”

“Perfect,” you beamed.

“Well go on then.” He removed one hand from your back and gestured behind you, nodding in the same direction with his head.

Putting your hands up in surrender you walked the last few steps to the door backwards, winking at him before turning on your heel and heading for the roof. Curious about what he was up to but more than anything just excited about getting to spend time with him and only him.

As you opened the door to the roof the icy breeze pushed against you and caused the breath to get caught in your throat. You wished you had brought your jacket. It’s not like you to forget something like that, you were just too excited. From up here you could see across the whole city, the fluorescent glare from the buildings, red and green flashes mixed in. But if you left the buildings behind, above were a canopy of luminous stars that materialised among the vast ocean of blackness. The moon, a complete orb resting in the sky, so large tonight you were sure you must be looking at it through a magnifying glass.

Some people would say this was a romantic view.

And there’s only one thing that came to mind when you stared at it.

Bang!

You spun around to see Tom bent over, holding onto his shoe.

“Ow, my toe,” he sniffled.

His brown curls that had been so neatly piled atop his head where now flopping down in front of his eyes.

“Hey, you okay?” You offered an outstretched hand, which Tom took, and you feel it again. The force.

This wasn’t the first time you had felt the ‘force’, you had just always tried to push it down. Tom was your friend and that was all he was ever going to be so there wasn’t any point in worrying about it, right? Recently it had been harder to remember that as everything he did caught your attention and held it.

Swallowing down the thought, you helped him to his feet.

“Thanks,” he mumbled as he dusted off his jacket.

“So, what was this surprise then?”

Tom bit his lip as he stood up straighter.

Did he seem nervous to you? Maybe just fizzing with a nervous energy.

Tom reached behind him and pulled out a cardboard box.

“Wait here,” he instructed.

“What do you mean?” Your palms started to sweat.

“Just wait here,” he titled his head, “please.”

You reluctantly nodded, and Tom made his way to the middle of the roof. He had his back to you, so you couldn’t see what he was doing, despite your attempts to peak around him.

“Okay, you can come over now.”

Tom stepped to the side revealing what he had been setting up. A blanket was spread out on the ground and in the middle was a pizza, the lid of the box pulled back. Standing next to it were two drinks, a pile of napkins, and a further pink box, this one much smaller than the pizza with the lid propped open too.

“This was your secret?” you questioned, “you were getting us a picnic?”

Tom scratched the back of his head, eyes drifting to the ground.

“Yeah,” he hesitated, “are you hungry?”

You broke out into a wide smile, “starving.”

You clamber onto the blanket, settling in and grabbing one of the pastries from inside the pink box.

“What are you doing? You can’t start with dessert,” Tom cried, reaching an arm out to stop you.

“You know,” you waved the pastry at him, small flakes breaking off and drifting onto the blanket, “you could do with rebelling a bit more.”  

Tom’s nostrils flared as he rolled his eyes, “as you wish.” A slight flicker at the corner of his mouth.

He flopped down onto the blanket, plunging his hand into the pink box and picking up the other raspberry crown.

“Cheers.” You both brought your pastries together pretending to clink them before taking a bite. The pastry was so buttery and soft, the jam sweet but with an edge of tang to it. It was the best jam you had ever tasted. You couldn’t help it, you didn’t even think about it.

“This is so great,” you mumbled through a full mouth, “I love you.”

And that was it.

That was the first time you told him you loved him.

Back then neither of you fully understood the type of love but you meant it all the same.

 "Hey, mine still do," Tom said, his tone low, slow like he was holding back.

You take a deep breath.

“I know, but I think sometimes we don’t put the same meanings into those words anymore. Maybe if you say it enough it starts to lose meaning.”

Tom simply blinks at you, clearly not expecting this conversation. Perhaps that was a good thing, it meant he wasn’t thinking about it right.

“It doesn’t have to lose meaning.” He swallows. “Has it lost meaning for you?”

“No, no,” you quickly respond. “No,” you say almost to yourself this time.

You know you still love him, you’re just wondering where all the secret kisses went. Or more, the meaning behind them.

So, you say, unable to keep it all to yourself anymore, “you used to pull me into a room for a stolen five minutes even though we worked in the same office.”

“You think I don’t love you because we don’t have time for secret little rendezvous?” Tom asks.

“I never said I thought you didn’t love me.”

You knew all your words were coming out wrong. You want to make Tom understand.

“Mummy, daddy,” a little voice trickles into your conversation, “do you not love each other anymore? Are you going to break up?”

Annie was sucking her thumb, something she hadn’t done for a year. This was bad. God this was a terrible time to talk about this. Why were you so selfish.

“No, no, darling, of course not,” you and Tom both said.

“We do have to go though,” he directs towards Annie.

He pulls her towards the door, picking his keys up from the windowsill before undoing the latch. They both step outside before Tom turns his head.

“We’ll talk when we get back, yeah?”

You nod meekly, unsure of whether this was the right thing to do at all.

  “How long have we been talking?”

Muffled sounds from the other side of the phone filled the room, everything else around you so still. The sun long since dipped in the sky.

“Six hours.” Both your voices were heavy with drowsiness.

“Really, has it been that long.” You tried to stifle a yawn.

After telling Tom how you truly felt about him, you felt freer. Able to let him into every part of you and you knew he was more comfortable too. You could feel it in when he put his arm around you, when he laughed with you, when he stayed on the phone with you for six hours without once suggesting that you should both go to bed. The effortlessness of the conversation made sense to you. It was how you felt when you first met him. Like he was the one who could keep you at ease.

“Mmm, I guess it has,” he said, now trying to stifle a yawn himself. “Are you tired yet?”

“No,” you lied.

You had made the mistake of lying down on your bed about an hour again. The soft silk of your pillow and the warmth of your duvet had instantly made you drowsy. You wanted to stay up all night to talk to Tom, but your body had other ideas. You knew you should go to sleep, after all, you had work in the morning, but everyone knows that people start to spill all their secrets at two am and you were only half an hour off.

There was one secret you were hoping Tom was keeping close to his chest but that was just wishful thinking. Just because you felt something doesn’t mean he did too.

“Y/N,” Tom’s groggy voice came through the phone.

“Mhm," you replied, your eyelids weighing more than you ever remembered.

“Just checking you are still awake.”

“Course, stay awake-” For a moment your head lolled onto your pillow, sleep circling in your brain.

You jolted up, rubbing your eye lightly, “mmm, stay awake all night.”

A crackled chuckle came from Tom.

“Whatever you say, love.”

As much as you fought it, you could barely keep one eye open now.

And as sleep pulled you into the world of impossible dreams you thought you heard three little words echo from the phone. A soft voice whispering, ‘I love you’.

 You slump down onto the stairs, letting your head fall into your hands, wishing immediately that Tom was back here in your arms. You want to run your fingers through his hair, tell him all about your day even though it’s only just beginning.

The love wasn’t lost between the two of you, you just have to make sure the other person knows that. To tell them every once in a while.

***

Did you ever have those moments where you are drawn out of where you are? Not to say you aren’t still present but more that you can see the picture like you are looking in from the outside. A moment of pure bliss, where you are hit with all your emotions at once. The moment when you just look at someone’s face and your heart floods with warmth because you know you love them. Everything feels good in that moment, everything feels light, feels calm.

Well as you threw back your head, laughter erupting from you, you had one of those moments. Snapping a mental polaroid that you would later scribble the three big words on, in a black felt tip marker.

Tom sat opposite you, his tongue caught in between his teeth as he choked back his own laughter. His hoodie was pulled down over his palms, so he could dab at the small tears that were starting to trickle down his face.

As you watched him you were overcome with a simple love, an untarnished love, a wholesome love. No complications. It fizzed throughout your entire body and you felt content, more content than you could ever wish to feel.

Tom’s hand on top of yours brought you back into the present. He had inched closer to you as he was laughing. You weren’t sure if he had done it on purpose or not. Should you follow suit and close the gap further? Pretending to shift in your seat, you scooted a little closer to him.

“I can’t believe you actually said that to him.” Tom’s eyes were wide with amusement.

“I just wasn’t thinking,” you said, biting down on your lip, mildly embarrassed.

Tom didn’t seem to notice, he just inched closer. His nose practically level with your own.

“Oh, you weren’t thinking, were you?” he teased, eyes flickering down to your mouth, then back up to meet your eyes.

You smirked, not because of the story but because you knew what was coming.

His lips brushed against yours, so faint you were almost not sure if they were really there. Then a hand rested on the back of your head, a light pressure tempting you forwards. Your lips met again, this time a little harder and you fell into the kiss, small giggles exchanged between you.

Your fingers danced around the drawstrings of his hoodie, trying to find their own place in this moment.

Sighing deeply into his lips, “I love you” slipped from your own.

You hadn’t meant to say it. But it felt right. It felt exciting. You really did mean it. You really loved him.

 You weren’t sure if you should even cry, you didn’t know what any of this meant. You just want to see Tom. As if he could read your mind the door unlocks.

“Y/N, where are you?” He sounds spirited.

“Here,” you call out, unsure of what to make of it. Now unsure of how to act around your own husband, feeling awkward at the thought of talking to him. Now that you had said it aloud it all seems so silly.  

Tom follows your voice into the kitchen where you are sitting at the breakfast table, your hands wrapped around a mug of lukewarm tea.

Tom looks positively gleeful when you say, “hi.”

“I got you something,” he said.  

You hadn’t noticed how one of his arms was held behind his back until he brought it forward, a pink box in it.

You look quizzically at it, not understanding straight away.

Gently, he places it on the table and flips open the lid. Inside lie two freshly baked raspberry crowns, the pastry golden and the filling shiny with glazing.

“I was thinking about what you said throughout the whole drive and I miss putting in maximum effort too.”

You knew this feeling was only a temporary one because as you stare at Tom in front of you, you couldn’t imagine your life being any different and you didn’t want it to be.

“Do you remember the rooftop picnic, the first time we had these?” Tom pulls out a chair next to you, his hand finding your knee and cupping it firmly. Your hand automatically goes to his.

“I do,” you say.

“That was the first time you told me you loved me.”

“And I meant it.”

Tom’s hand drifts slightly further up your leg. The force.

“And I still do.”

Tagging a few peeps: @thelazypangolin @mysteryavengers @tomhollandthirst @anxieteaandbiscuits @rachramblesstuff @h-osterfield @hazsterfield  @whyistomholland

[uglypastels]

Rooftops - Peter Parker

(a/n) This story is for @tom-holland-and-textposts writing challenge. Thank you for choosing the prompt for me: “It’s like Dancing With The Stars, but only it’s under the stars”. You’re amazing!!!!

I have to be honest, I had no idea how to approach this prompt. but after a while, I managed to make this. It may not make a lot of sense but I hope it is enjoyable at least. 

word count: 8568

warning: some angst because of Infinity War, a tiny smidge of Peter struggling with some depressing thoughts. But it is still mostly fluff 

[gif not mine] 

You looked out of your window. It was around seven thirty. The sun was setting, giving the tall towers of steel and glass a magical pink and orange glow. You loved the view. It was so calming to look at. Even when the rest of the city wasn’t. When you could hear people screaming at each other down in the streets, your neighbors throwing plates at each other, or a cat hissing at pigeons. It didn’t matter. The sun made all that noise disappear. Except for one.

“Don’t you ever get bored with it?” You heard from the fire escape next to you. You didn’t even look away from the sky to answer. “Don’t you ever get bored running around in spandex?”

“It’s not spandex.” the mysterious Spider-Man groaned as he sat down next to you.

“It sure looks like it.” You touched his arm, “Yup, feels like spandex too.” When you touched him, you could feel his muscles tense up. You had to admit, it was pretty hot. But you shook off those thoughts as quickly as they had appeared. How could you think someone was hot if you’ve never seen them.

“Well, it’s not. It’s nanites.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what that is, so Imma just calls it spandex.”

You had known Spider-Man for nearly five months. The first time you saw him in person was when you had witnessed a kid stealing some other’s kid bike. Suddenly, quicker than a blink of an eye, the petty thief had been caught by his shirt and was swinging in mid-air. Spider-Man took the bike out of his grip and handed it back to its original owner. You had been watching the whole scene play out on the other side of the street, where you were waiting for the bus. He probably could feel you staring, as he had turned around and waved at you. You waved back, a bit dazed, not sure what was happening.  

The next time you saw Spider-Man, was actually right here where you were right now. You were reading a book on the fire escape of your building. A pillow behind your back against the metal bars to make it slightly more comfortable. A small breeze had flown by, making your pages flutter around. From the corner of your eye, you could see your bookmark getting blown away in the wind. You wanted to catch it, but it was a second to fast for you. You leaned out, trying to catch it again.

You had to get up once it started to blow up in the air. You were so far outstretched to the edge of the railing, that you only noticed it when it was too late. You felt yourself losing balance and falling - right down to the stone sidewalk underneath you.. You let out a small scream, closed your eyes and were ready to break every single bone in your body, but the hit never came. Instead, you felt something stuck to your back as you hang in the air. Just like the bicycle thief. Slowly, you looked up. You were met with two big white semi-circles which were surrounded by a field of red. The semi-circles widened as you looked at them.

“Spider-Boy?” You asked, extremely confused. How did he get here? How did he catch you so quickly?

He groaned as he started to pull you up. You were pretty sure it wasn’t because of your weight that he made those sounds. It was more a groan of frustration.

“It’s Spider-Man.” his voice sounded a bit cyber as if muffled by all the technology that was incorporated in his suit.

“Right, sorry.” He had pulled you up so far until you were standing on both legs on the stairs that just moments ago could have been your death. Trying to play it a bit cool in front of the superhero, you leaned against the window sill crossing your arms around each other. “Well, thank you.” He jumped off the landing above you. You thought he would swing off into the sunset, but no. Holding onto the railing of the stairs, he maneuvered his way onto the staircase leading back up. Spider-Man just sat there. More like squated. The semi-circles narrowed slightly and you couldn’t help but blush slightly.

“Yeah, no problem.” he shrugged. Then his eyes, or at least you thought so, caught the glimpse of your book. “Whatcha reading there?” You wanted to tell him, but before you could even open your mouth, he clicked his web shooter and a ray of sticky web clung itself to the cover of your book. You hoped for the arachno-humanoid that the sticky substance was easily removable, otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to do much more swinging around the city after this.

“Is that disintegrate?” You asked him. His head shot up from the first page of the book.

“Huh? Yeah. Of course.” and he continued to read. You rolled your eyes. The way he was sitting there. Right next to you, his knees almost up against his chin while his nose was in your book, it was almost like he was a normal person. Except for the red and blue suit, superhuman strength and awesome spider abilities. You didn’t notice that you had been staring until he looked up from the book again.

“You probably want this back.” You did want your book back, but seeing him enjoy it so much gave you another type of joy...and maybe...once he was done, he would have to bring it back, right?

“You know what, I’ve read it ten times already. If you want, you can borrow it.” Yep, just casually lending off your favorite book to Spider-Man, No big deal.

“Oh, thanks.” You could hear a faint giggle in his voice.

“Well, it’s the least I can do to repay you for all you’re doing in the city.” it was true. You had seen the videos of him stopping cars from crashing, fighting burglars or other shady types. Not to mention that whole fiasco with that Vulture weirdo. This guy was amazing! And if you could make him happy with a book, why not?

“Just please be careful with it. So, no food, no liquids, no crime fighting around it. Okay...oh, and definitely no more sticky web things?” You looked at him seriously. There was no telling if he actually got that as you couldn’t see his face at all.

“Yeah, of course. I’ll give it back as soon as I finish it.” He got up. You heard a whoosh as he shot a web to the other side of the street. You watched him launch off into the air and swing around.

Two days later he was back with the book. You were sitting on your bed, making homework when you heard a soft knock on your window. You looked up, and there he was. In the same red-and-blue spandex onesie he waved at you through the glass. He put up his other hand to show you the book.

As gracefully as you managed to be, you got off your bed and walked over to the window. It was heavy, but you opened it.

“Hey there, Spider-Boy.” You leaned against the window sill.

“Spider-Man.” He sighed as he handed you the book. You looked at the cover for any visible signs of damage.

“I know. How was the book?” You asked. He sat down on the stairs of the fire escape. Exactly like he had done the last time you saw him.

“Good. I liked all the astronomy-”

“Astrology.” You corrected the superhero.

“Yes, right.” he scratched the back of his neck. “Anyway, it was good.”

“I have more books from that author. If you want, you can borrow them too.”  You wondered if that was such a good idea. To be fair, he had taken good care of your book, but you never knew what could happen this time.

“Yeah, that would be great. Thanks.” you assumed he was smiling underneath his mask, so you smiled back. Then, without another word, you walked over to your bookcase. It was overflowing with books, notepads, and knick-knacks. It took you a moment to find the book you were looking for. You walked back to the window. At the sight of the book, the white semi-circles around Spider-Man’s eyes widened.

“That’s a big one,” he commented. You looked down at the dictionary-sized book in your hands. It was indeed pretty big. At least three times the size of the book you had to lend him before… and you knew that the font was also a size smaller. Looking back up at him, you smirked: “Don’t think you’re up for the challenge?” Something that was comparable to a scoff left his lips.

“Of course I am. I can read it in a day… if I wanted to, and if I had the time. But you know, superhero-duties…” He rambled on. You noticed how much he really talked with his hands. And how much he talked in general.

“Sure, Spiderling. Well, once you’re done, give it back, okay?”

“You got it.” You handed him the book. He didn’t seem to be troubled by the weight at all. It looked like you had just given him a keychain or a chess piece. You did always wonder how he could be so strong without looking like The Rock.

________________________________________

And now it has been five months. Since then, Spider-Man had visited you at least once a week, mostly even more often. You could say you were friends, but it was hard for you to think about that. It seemed unfair to you that he knew so much about you while you haven’t even seen his face.

The only thing you knew about him was that he was around your age, and only because he once slipped up that he was in high school. It wasn’t much… but it was enough for you to develop a small crush on him. Yes, you had a crush on the Crime FIghting Spider of Queens. It was insane to think about it. But any time you hung out, you had a great time. He was smart, funny, kind… everything you needed to fall for him a little bit more anytime you saw him.

You could feel his eyes on you. Oh, the times you imagined how they looked like. What color were they? What shape? You dreamed about looking into them and just getting lost forever. You turned your head slightly to look at him, but alas, you were greeted with the iconic red and blue of his suit.

“Have you finished the book?” You asked. Disappointment could be hinted at in your tone but you hope he didn’t catch it.

“No,” he didn’t, “I think I’ll finish it tomorrow.” He wasn’t even looking at you anymore. His attention to the same view you had been looking at before he came to see you.

“Oh, cool.” Would he come to see you tomorrow then? You hoped so. He didn’t say anything else and neither did you. The two of you sat and looked at the sunset like the many times before. Sometimes when you couldn’t sleep at night and he was just done catching some bad guys, you would look at the stars. Then, you would go to the roof and just lay there, looking at the sky. On nights like these, you wished you didn’t live in the city that never slept. The light pollution made it almost impossible to see anything properly. You had told him that exactly. He laughed a little.

“I wouldn’t be able to live in the country. Imagine me trying to web swing away when the next house is only five miles away.” You laughed at the idea too.

“I actually didn’t say I wanted you there with me, Spider-boy.”

“Oh, sorry. I just thought-”

“But I would like to.” You told him and it shut him up for a good minute or five.

The peaceful silence and your memory were broken by the shrieking sound of police sirens. The calming orange and pink glow of the sun was altered by the blinding red and blue alarms, moving by quickly as the two police cars raced underneath your feet.

“I - I have to go.” Spider-Man got up. He held out his arm and a string of his web fluid shot to a building in the distance. Before he jumped off the fire escape, he turned around. “I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah,” you smiled sadly. “Just be careful.” He smiled and jumped off. You watched him swing between the buildings until you almost couldn’t hear the sirens anymore and he was only a little dot moving around from side to side above the street. With a sigh, you leaned away from your window and closed it.

________________________________________

School was as boring as ever. Lots of work and no actual time to do it. The usual. You were glad when it was finally lunch time. After you threw your books of your previous subject into your locker and exchanged those for the ones needed after the break, you headed out to the cafeteria.

The room was already filled with students. It would have been impossible for you to find a spot to sit if it wasn’t for your friend Peter. He was already sitting at your usual table. Headphones in and his nose in a book. The concentration on him visible already from where you were standing.

“Whatcha reading there, Pete?” You said when you got to the table. He didn’t hear you. You ticked on the top of his book and that finally made him look up. He pulled out one earbud out so he could listen to you. His elbows were on the book, covering up the pages. “Huh?”

“I asked, what are you reading?” You ticked once again on the book. Peters face heated up and he looked a bit startled. Looking down at the book, now completely covering it up with his arms as he folded them over each other. “N-nothing. It’s nothing.” He scratched behind his ear like he did when he was nervous. You didn’t understand why.

“Oh c’mon,” You managed to pull the book from under his arms. “Unless it’s Fifty Shades or something, I don’t think-” the rest of your sentence didn’t come out. You looked at the cover of the book you were holding.

“Huh. Funny.  I lend this book to Spider-Man last week.” You said and gave it back to Peter. He quickly put it in his backpack.

“When are you going to invite us to your little book club, huh, (Y/N).” Ned asked you as he said down next to Peter. You rolled your eyes.

“It’s not a book club, Ned. I just recommend him books to read. We barely even talk about them.”

“Yeah, you’re too busy making out, I suppose.” the obnoxious sound of Flash’s voice rang from behind you. You turned around and glared at the annoying brat at the table next to you. “Shut up, Flash!”

“What? Are you even a prude with your imaginary boyfriend?” He laughed. You wanted to come back with a comment but Ned stopped you: “Just ignore him. You gave Flash one more death glare before turning back to your friends.

“So, what do you and, and Spider-Man talk about, then?” Peter looked extremely flushed. Recently he had been any time you talked about the Spider-Avenger.

“I don’t know.” you shrugged. “About random things.”

“Have you told him about your crush?” Ned cocked an eyebrow. You hid your face in your hands. Ned and Peter were your best friends, so obviously they knew about your feelings for the superhero. They actually managed to see it before you realized what those feelings really meant.

“Of course not, are you crazy! I don’t even know who he really is. I can’t tell him that I have a crush on him.” you whisper yelled. “It’s not really a crush, is it?”

“Yeah, it is.” Ned held in a laugh and looked at Peter, who was ignoring both his and your eyes, but a small smile had crept up on his face. This had happened before. That when the three of you had been talking about Spider-Man, Ned and Peter would start laughing out of nowhere and you would sit there like a complete idiot. Feeling like you were missing out on the whole story. This time was one too many. A bit annoyed you got up: “You know what, you guys are jerks.” You grabbed your backpack and swung it around your shoulder. Peter looked up from his lunch.

“No. Don’t go. We’re sorry.”

“Yet you’re still making fun of me.” You commented on their continuous giggling. “I’ll see you around guys.” You sighed and left the table.

But you didn’t see them around. After lunch, you didn’t share any classes with Peter or Ned anymore. After school, it was just a straight back home for you. It had been a long day and you were exhausted, but the amount of homework you had made it impossible for you to do what you just wanted - to pass out and never wake up.

Your parents weren’t home yet, so you headed to your room, but not before taking a small detour to the fridge to get something to drink. Your mother was supposed to do groceries today after work, so there wasn’t much in there. Disappointed, you closed the fridge and trudged to the door of your own room. Your bed was a sight for sore eyes, but you wanted to cry when you saw it.  You couldn’t work here. You would most likely fall asleep before you’d manage to take your books out. There was no time for that.

So you went to your second choice of study spot, the roof of your building. You climbed out of your window, your backpack in your arm. The air up on the fire escape was cold and the wind would hit the metal bars. So before you started climbing the stair, you ducked back into your room and grabbed a blanket. With that wrapped around you, you made your way to the roof finally.

Of course, it was deserted. The only thing there, as usual, was the plastic garden table with two chairs. Nobody in the building knew who had put it up there, because it has stood here as long as you could remember. It didn’t really matter how it got up on the roof. At least you had a place to sit at and work. The spot also gave you the perfect view of the city skyline, in case you got bored by all the numbers and formulas. You could just sit and watch the city.

You had no idea how much time had gone by. No, you did know that a lot of time flew by, you just didn’t realize how quickly that had happened. After what felt like minutes, it was getting harder and harder for you to read the words on your pages. It was simply too dark. But the sun would only set after seven. You checked your phone. It was almost eight already. You had been working on your homework for already four hours. You looked up from the table to enjoy the last few seconds of the sun setting. It wasn’t much. the tip of the fireball had almost disappeared behind the horizon.

A loud rattling disturbed your moment of zen. It sounded like footsteps on metal. Was it him?  There was only one way to find out. You walked over to the edge of the building and looked over it. Just like you assumed, you saw the mysterious spider vigilante on your fire escape. He hadn’t seen you yet. You watched him for a moment from up on the roof. He had ticked on your window, and of course, there was no response. After hearing nothing from the inside, Spider-Man leaned in a bit more to get a proper look into your room.

“Ever heard of privacy, Spiderling?” You chuckled. He jumped up at the sound of your voice. He calmed down a bit when he realized it was you. You wondered how you must look like to him. You were tired and most of your hair that had been in a ponytail already fell out of it, the loose strands hitting you in the face as a breeze blew by. Compared to his beautifully crafted suit, which sparkled in the last sunshine of the day, you felt so basic. He was literally covered with gold, while you smelled like your dog from the dog in which you were covered for all this time.

“Sorry, I just wanted to bring the book back.” he picked up the novel from your window sill. Yeah, it was the same book Peter was reading today, now you were certain. What could have been the coincidence that your two crushes were reading the same book at the same time?

Yes, you had a crush on Peter Parker. You didn’t know for how long already, but it didn’t matter anyway. He was just a really sweet guy and a great friend...which is why nobody knew about your feelings for your best friend. It would just ruin everything. Neither you nor Peter needed that kind of drama.

And then there was Spider-Man, the mysterious superhero who had saved your life and was now climbing up the wall to see you. Climbing up the wall? When did he start doing that? You moved away from the edge of the building so he could climb up to you and get over the little wall. Not like you actually needed to do that.

“Hi,” you said. He didn’t say anything for a moment. He just looked at you. You must be looking like a bigger mess than you thought. But no, that wasn’t why he was looking at you like that, because his next words surprised you: “You look cute.” He had never given you a compliment like that before. The blanket was getting a bit too hot for you suddenly. You still wore it around your shoulders as the wind was getting feistier and you were only wearing short sleeves.

“What are you doing up here?” He asked.

“Just doing homework,” you turned around, nodding with your head towards the books on the small table behind you.

“And what are you doing now?” He asked. The way he scratched his neck could tell you he was nervous about something. The ‘what’ wasn’t clear yet to you.

“I uhm- nothing really. I was just planning on staying here for a while.”

“Oh coolcoolcoolcoolcool.” He did that Jake Peralta thing. “Can I, like…”

“Have I ever told you no?” you raised an eyebrow at him.

“No, but you probably should have many times.” you both laughed. The sun was now almost completely down. The sky still had a slight orange glow to itself, but most of it was already dark. The stars were making its first appearance, featuring the moon. It was currently in its waxing gibbous stage, lighting up the sky pretty well. You had been exhausted the moment you had stepped out of the school building, but now that you were standing under this clear sky, with Spidey right there… You were fully charged again.

“How’s your day been? Caught any bad guys?” You didn’t know what to do. The two of you were just standing there in the middle of the roof. Spider-Man was swinging with his arms lazily.

“No, nothing happened. Actually, no. I saw the churro lady again. She needed help with her groceries.”

“Did you get the churro?”

“No, she did want to give me five bucks for ice cream though, but I couldn’t accept that.” Another reason why you thought he was so great. He helps people and doesn’t expect anything in return. Not even food. That really proved the point of his pure heart.

“You’ve been in space, right?” you were still looking at the stars so there was no telling if he was looking at you or not. His mechanically enhanced voice was soft: “yeah.” You had talked about those few days when aliens once again attacked the city of New York. You had been on your way to a school trip that Friday when a gigantic space doughnut started crashing into buildings. No one knew what was going on, and then two days later, people started to disappear. Literally. It was all like a bad dream. A horrible dream that seemed to never end. Weeks and weeks had gone by. Your worst fear had come through very quickly. The first day of school back, in fact. The heavy doors opened up and the halls were empty, even though classes would start in five minutes. There were some people here and there. All looking like they haven’t slept in days. Eyes red from tears. You didn’t dare to look anyone in the eye. There was one thing you had to do. You practically ran to the end of the corridor when you saw your best friend.

“Ned!” You jumped into his arms, so happy he was still there. His hug wasn’t the usual. It was loose and barely there. You pulled away, looking at his face. It was just like anyone else you had seen today. Things started to click.

“Where-where’s Peter?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since the trip.” And you hadn’t seen him for another few months. They were the worst months of your life. A part of you had been ripped away. Peter was gone. So was what felt like an entire half of the world. But that didn’t even matter.

It was hard not to think about it anymore since Peter was back and everything seemed to be back to normal. But those few months had still happened. You had missed him so much.

“It was okay.” He said after a while, pulling you back onto the rooftop you have been standing on. His voice was sad.

“Did you see any stars?” You asked hopefully. Maybe this would lighten up the mood a bit.

“Didn’t really have the time. I was mostly trying not to get killed by the Giant Purple People Eater.” He chuckled but you stayed quiet. Yes, you had talked about his little adventure into space, but he had never really talked about what happened up there. He had mentioned something about a purple giant named Thanos and his “stone collection”, and aliens putting eggs in him but you had no idea what he meant by that.

“Oh, right.” You didn’t want to break any boundaries. It didn’t feel like it was something he wanted to talk about.

Not knowing what to say anymore, you looked up at the sky again. It was dark now. The brightly lit streets were giving a yellow shine from underneath you. There were some stars visible but you knew there were millions and millions more. All dancing through the galaxy.

“Hey,” you said. Spidey had been looking up at the sky just like you when your voice broke the silence, however, he looked down at you. “This probably sounds crazy, but do you want to dance?”

“Dance?” He didn’t seem to understand the concept of your proposal.

“Yeah, c’mon. It will be fun.” you held out your hand for him to grab onto. You had no idea where this sudden confidence came from. Only yesterday you wouldn’t dare to ask him this. Maybe because you were secretly too tired to think straight. Or maybe seeing him be so flustered, even when he was still covered by that suit of his, gave you the confidence boost you needed all along.

“It’s like Dancing With The Stars, but only it’s under the stars,” you said. As you took his other hand. Spidey still looked a bit unsure.

“That’s a horrible analogy,” he laughed finally.

“Uh, rude. Now c’mon, dance.” Still unsure, he gave in. You started out slow, just small movements, from left to right. There was no music, but you didn’t need it. This was still pleasant.

When Spidey finally got a bit more comfortable in the situation, he pulled you closer to him so he could put his hands on your waist. At the touch, you thought he would have to lap you up soon - you were melting at his fingertips.

Shaking off the last nerves in your body, you put your arms around his neck. The whole situation made you laugh. It was stupid, really. You were on the roof of your house, slow dancing with New York’s bravest, good ol’ Spider-Man. The lights surrounding you from the billboards and street lamps reflected softly in his suit. Once again you wished you could just see the face that was underneath it. You giggled again, throwing away that thought.

“What? Am I that bad?” he asked. One of his arms left your hip, but you grabbed it and pulled it back towards you.

“No, you’re doing great. I just-” No, you couldn’t say it, instead you shook your head and mumbled: “Nevermind.”

“What is it?” You had no idea what he was doing underneath that nanite suit. You wished you could see it. You wished you could actually touch his skin, not that strange material. You wished… you wished you could kiss him.

“No, it’s nothing.” You had to stop it. This was too crazy to think of. You couldn’t kiss him. You barely knew him. But what if… if you just went for it? Maybe he would give in and reveal himself to you? But wouldn’t that be horrible? To use that kiss to find out who he was?  

Spider-Man looked down. You followed the spaces in his suit where normally his eyes would be. He was looking at your hand. It was still entangled in his. You thought you would have let go, but you didn’t. Instead, you just squeezed it a little. You looked back up at him.

“How do you even eat with that thing on?”

“What do you mean?” He laughed.

“Well, it doesn’t have a zipper. How do you take it off?” You took your hand out of his grip. The cold went through your whole arm as you immediately started to miss his touch. Very quickly, before you would start to think and regret doing anything, your finger bopped his nose. You saw movement under his mask so assumed he was scrunching his nose.

“See, how do you move, or even breath, in that thing. It’s all...so tight.” Your throat was suddenly very dry. You noticed on many occasions how well his body looked in the suit, but it was a totally different thing to actually tell him that… or at least imply this.

“It’s not as bad as you think. And if you want to talk technical terms-” the material around his mouth suddenly vanished. You were shocked. This was the first time you ever saw any of him aside of his suit. He was a real person. He smiled shyly.

“How did you do that?” you asked still amazed with the technology. But as soon as the words left your mouth you regretted talking at all. The material crept up again around his mouth and the beautiful smile vanished in front of you.

“It’s nanotechnology. Millions of little robots work like one organism… and they are all connected to the programme, so they just do what I, or the programme, tell them to do.”

“Fascinating,” you said mindlessly. It probably was really interesting, but you didn’t hear any of it. It was like every word he said came in through one ear and left by the other. All you could concentrate on was his face. That little part he had allowed you to see. You wanted to remember every detail of it. There were now finally lips attached to that voice. Even if it wasn’t a real voice, but something enhanced by a computer. Little by little you could complete the puzzle that was this mysterious stranger that you knew so well.

“Do, you still wanna dance?” He took both of your hands in his. You looked at him for a moment, trying to recap what he had asked you.

“Uh, yeah. Sure.” A blush was raising on your cheeks. Great, you were thinking again. You didn’t want to. Spider-Man didn’t say anything else. He took one of your hands and put it on his shoulder. The other one he held onto.

“Have you ever seen High School Musical?”

“Yes!” smooth. “I mean, yeah.” He laughed at your enthusiasm. To say you were excited was an understatement. You were on a rooftop, with your crush and you were dancing. There was only one thing he could mean when he mentioned the movie.

And you were right. He put his arm on your waist and straightened his elbow. This was actually happening. You had to be honest, when you had dreamt of re-enacting the iconic scene, you didn’t expect it to be on the roof of your own building, at night… and you definitely never thought that it would be Spider-Man who would be your dance partner. You had hoped you could have had the pleasure to see the face of the person you were to dance with, but alas, you can’t have everything.

He started to move his feet, so you did the same. When he stepped forward, you took a step back and just like that you started to dance around the whole roof. When you had figured out a rhythm for yourselves, the masked hero started to get much more comfortable. Without a warning, he let go of your hand to grip the other side of your waist and spin you around in the air. You squealed at the sudden movement.

After two, three, spins he put you down, just to make a dip. A sound that was something between a scream and laugh escaped you.

“Oh my god, stop!” you smiled.

“Okay, just one more thing.” He said when he pulled you back up. You could practically hear the smirk on his face. So when you had both feet on the floor properly, He had your hands in his and you had an idea of what to expect next.

Still holding on to you, he put his arm up and started to spin you. Both of you laughing hard at your horrible dancing skills. Then, when you and he were quietly done with the spinning, he did something that caught you a bit off guard. You never knew how people did it so casually, but he managed. With a swift movement, he pushed you away, and from the distance that only your fingertips could touch each other, he pulled you back in. You twirled a bit more until you fell into his arms.

He was so close to you. The only thing separating you from him was his suit. His lips would be pressed against yours if it wasn’t for a little inch of empty space in between you. You looked into the white voids that could have been his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” Those were not the words you wanted to hear from him, “I-I got to go.” He let go of you and took a step back. A wind blew in your face and goosebumps covered your bare arms. You knew that they wouldn’t have shown up if he was still holding you.

________________________________________

________________________________________

“I’m sorry.” Peter let her go. “I-I got to go.” He had to leave, and soon too. He couldn’t be there anymore. It was all getting too much for him. Without another word, he started running to the edge of the building. When he reached the verge, he jumped. When he knew he wouldn’t get any higher, he pressed his web shooter and a long string of web shot out. He swung away. As far away as he possibly could.

The streets under him were empty. It was pretty safe to remove his mask now. The moment his face met the fresh air, he gasped. When he was with her, he literally forgot how to breathe. He felt the same way he did when he had been clinging on to that spaceship, on its way to Titan. His lungs were burning, but this time in the best way possible. Only she made him feel that way, without having a single clue she did.

He swung around the streets until he saw the little alley in which he left his backpack. With a smaller swing, he landed on the top of the building aside of the alley and lowered himself down the wall. Thank dog, his stuff was still there. Stuck to the pipe he had glued it to before he left.

He took it off and made one last jump to the ground. There was a filled dumpster standing on one side of the alley. Peter decided to sit down behind, to catch up on his lost breath and to just… think. He needed to think.

It had all started months ago. When he was catching some petty bike thief. He had given the stolen ride back to its owner and it all looked like a good day’s job, but his spidey-senses felt something was off. Someone was staring at him. He looked behind him to see (Y/N). Standing at a bus stop. Without thinking, he waved at her. Which was stupid because she had no idea who he was. She was his best friend, and yet he still didn’t catch the nerve to tell her about his secret identity. He wanted to, but then he remembered how aunt May freaked out when she saw him in the suit. Of course, she had found him by accident, in his room, just climbing into his room through the window. Peter knew that if he would have actually sat down with her and explained everything, she could have taken it better.

So from that day, he wanted to tell (Y/N) his secret. He had been thinking about it for days. Until one day, he decided to just go for it. After school, no in the weekend, he would go to her building and tick on her window. Hopefully, she wouldn’t kick him out and then he could tell her everything. Yes, this was a great plan.

Unfortunately, the plan was already ruined before he had reached her building. He could see her from a mile away. Sitting on the fire escape, probably reading a book. As quietly as he could he landed on the roof. She lived on the top floor, so Peter had to be especially careful not to make any noise. If she would look up, there was nothing else for her to see but him.

He was preparing his speech on the roof when a sudden clang and a little scream filled his ears. He looked down and without thinking he shot a web at her. It stuck to her back. He still remembers how her eyes had widened when she realized it was him who had saved her.

He had messed up that day. Instead of telling her what he wanted to already for weeks, if not longer, he ended up borrowing a book from he had already read five times. It was her favorite so, of course, she had made him read it too.

Every time after that, when they would hand out, he would come *this* close to telling her. But every time something would get in the way. It didn’t matter if it was the city needing his help or his nerves, he just couldn’t do it.

Tonight he was so close. He had shown his face. Well, at least a part. That was still a huge improvement to anything he had tried to do before. But then everything went south when she looked at him. That way that she always that that just melted him. But it also froze him with fear. Fear of rejection. Because it wasn’t him who she was in love with. It was Spider-Man. The way she talked about him at school, it was crystal clear how she felt about his alter-ego.

Because of how hard he tried, Peter would never be what he tried to pretend he was when he wore the costume. As awkward as he stayed in the suit, he felt strong, confident. More at least than when he had to walk around the school hallways without the mask on. With everyone able to see everything he hated about himself. (Y/N) would never want someone so sad like that.

He rushed his fingers through his hair. He had to stay calm. It wasn’t like he had almost kissed her back there. No, definitely not. His heart was beating faster and faster at the thought of tomorrow. She would come to see him and Ned, all happy and bubbly as usual. Probably talking about the amazing night she had with Spider-Man, and Peter would just have to smile and nod along while he couldn’t say anything without revealing himself. Or worse, what if he hurt her feelings by leaving so abruptly?  She would hate his guts. Neither of the options sounded good to him.

________________________________________

It was already the next day. Peter was standing at his locker. Ned beside him.

“Dude, I-” he didn’t know how to tell Ned about what happened last night. “I almost kissed her.”

“You kissed (Y/N)?!” Ned shouted. Tom had to shush before people would start to pay attention to them.

“No. Almost. And it was Spider-Man.”

“But Peter,” Ned was whispering so much that even Peter could barely understand him, “You are Spider-Man.”

“Well, she doesn’t know that, does she?” He hissed.

“Doesn’t know what?” (Y/N)’s voice made Peter freeze. He slowly turned around. Before he did, He saw the look on Ned’s face, who just like him looked to be surprised that she had heard them.

“That uhm…” Peter tried to come up with something. “That Jabba the Hutt was supposed to be a furry in the original script of Star Wars.” He blurted out finally. (Y/N) raised an eyebrow at him.

“A..furry?”

“No, not a furry. I said it wrong. He was just supposed to be furry.”

“Oh right. Well, that doesn’t make it sound much better,” she admitted. Peter laughed nervously at her comment, anxious for what she would say next. But she didn’t say anything. The three of them just stood there, next to the lockers. Peter took this time to look at her properly, not like he didn’t do that before.

She was wearing a simple t-shirt and jeans. Her hair was, as usual, up in a ponytail and her face looked flawless, even without the makeup she was probably too tired to put on this morning.

“So, how was your day? Did you see Spider-Man again?” Peter hoped that (Y/N) didn’t see how Ned poked him mockingly in the ribs. Fortunately, she didn’t. Instead, she leaned against some lockers next to Peter’s.

“I did, yeah.”

“What did you...did you do anything?” She raised her eyebrow again at Peter, who looked away before they could meet eyes.

“We, uhm, we danced.”

“That’s cool,”  Ned said, giving Peter a look that was something like: Really bro? Peter elbowed his friend in the stomach gently, enough to make him groan, but not hard enough for (Y/N) to notice it - he hoped at least that she didn’t notice.

“Yeah, and we…” she was clearly blushing now, “kindaalmostkissed.” If Peter hadn’t been the one she was actually with last night, he would have no idea what she had just mumbled.

“You did?” He tried to play it cool. Like he didn’t care. Or at least that he wasn’t bothered by it. He wanted it to be him who almost kissed her. Not Spider-Man. Even if that was actually him… but it wasn’t to her, so… He had to stop. Everything was getting too confusing for eight a.m.

“Yeah. But he left before we actually… you know.” she sighed. He knew now, he messed up. “I’m scared that I scared him away or something.”

“I’m sure that’s not why he left,” Peter assured her. How could he help her without giving himself away? Maybe he could tell her today? After school? Go explain himself and ask for a chance, if she didn’t slam the door in his face by that point.

“You think so? I mean, he seemed to be pretty eager to leave.” her eyes found the ground.

“But he likes you?” Ned mumbled. More to himself, but she still heard it. Her head shot up to look at the two boys.

“What? How do you know?” she switched between staring at Ned and then at Peter. Ned started to stutter: “uhm… eh, P-peter. He-”

“He told you he likes me?” she assumed for herself. Her eyes filled with hope. Peter didn’t know what to say.

“Yeah, he kinda mentioned it, during the- the Stark internship.” He didn’t want to lie. But would it really be lying? He had told himself many times that he liked her. Tried to prepare for times where he would grow the guts to ask her out one day. This was just a little white lie. But still a lie, then.

“Wait, you haven’t been to the Stark internship for weeks. Why didn’t you tell me?” Peter was lost for words. What could he say? Fortunately, the moment he opened his mouth to dig his way deeper into the pit of lies, the bell rang. Without another word, he turned around and walked away from Ned and (Y/N). He could feel their eyes burning into his skull. He knew that for the first period she had to be on the other side of the school,  so he made his way to AP Chemistry as fast as he could.

Ned only caught up to him when he was seated in class. Books and notebook out on the table.

“Dude, you have to tell her.”

“I know. I just- I don’t know how.”  

“What do you mean ‘how’. Just go up to her and tell her.”

“What?” Peter whisper-yelled, “Oh hey, (Y/N), so funny story, that guy that you have been telling us about for months about how much you like him, well guess what? That’s me. I’ve been lying to your face all this time.” He ended with a sarcastic smile.

“Well, leave out the lying to her face part, and you’re good.” Ned agreed. Peter rolled his eyes and watched his teacher write down chemical equations on the board. He looked at the letters and numbers and even though he had seen them a million times, nothing connected in his mind. He could only think about (Y/N). He knew he had to tell her. Better soon than never, he thought. But what if it was already too late?

________________________________________

Just like he did five months ago, he was standing on her roof. Pondering and contemplating. Walking from there to fro. He had everything planned out. Except for one thing. No, that was a lie. He had no idea what he was doing. His heart was beating a million per minute. His hands were shaking, which meant that so were his arms and immediately the rest of his body.

He had the small note that he wrote in class ready in his hand. This note was the make or break point of the whole thing. He could just drop it. The wind would blow it away. It would disappear. He could run away and no one would even know he was here. She wouldn’t have to know. But she did, and that’s why he didn’t drop it. Instead, he shot a web on the edge of the building and slowly started to lower himself down to the height of her window. He looked at it one more time before softly knocking on the glass and slipping a corner of it under the wood. He didn’t want it to blow away now. He didn’t have much time, so when he had made sure that the paper was secure, he climbed back up to the roof. He could hear your window open exactly when his foot had climbed over the edge.

He ran to the other side of the roof. If she decided to follow the simple instruction he had left her, that would give him around ten more seconds before she got up here. He took off his mask. A hard and cold wind blew in his eyes. 4 more seconds. Peter hid his face in his hands. Mostly from frustration at himself, but also from the wind.

He could feel movement behind him. Small and careful steps. He lowered his arms, but still didn’t turn around. He was too scared to move. Then, he felt the softest tap on his shoulder.

“Peter?” It was too late now. He had no choice but to turn around. Painstakingly slow, he turned around. His eyes met with her beautiful ones. They widened at the shock of seeing his face, but so did her smile. Peter had a whole speech prepared, not really but the general idea was there. That all went away when he saw her face. Or better said, when he felt her lips on his.

Before he could comprehend anything, or apologize for what he had done for all those months, she kissed him. It was a passionate kiss. The kind that knocked him off his feet. Quite literally too, because she had pulled him into her, causing him to stumble very lightly.

He smiled into the kiss. Not knowing what else to do, he cupped her cheek with his hand. She was soft, he could feel himself melt into her with every little touch. He didn’t think he would ever go back to solid form, but it eventually happened when she pulled away from him. A deep breath feeling both of them. The kiss was amazing, but they still needed more than that to live… like air, for example.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked him bluntly.

“I was scared.” He confessed, “That you would be disappointed. I know how you think that Spider-Man is this awesome cool guy and-” She cut him off with a quick peck on the cheek.

“Peter, you are the least cool person I know.” she left him another kiss. This time on the lips. “And that would never compare to any superhero.”

“Really? Not even Thor?” He laughed.

“Thor’s a close second, but you are the only one I want to dance under the stars with.” She wrapped her arms around her, while he put his hands on her hips. He pressed his lips gently against her and she pushed in closer to fill the last empty spaces between them. Still connected in every way possible, he swayed from left to right, in small circles.

With the sun already going down, they stayed there until the stars came up.

The End

send me requests/feedback/questions