Chapter 11: Will I Ever Be More Than I've Always Been?
There's a lot going on. Too bad Mayu doesn't have much of a clue about it.
AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22967815/chapters/81590014
It’s been a week since Zero left and Mayu had managed to fall into a nice sort of rhythm, almost like Zero had never happened. She hadn’t even seen Kurow, who didn’t even appear at school anymore. Occasionally, she wondered what he was up to (but what good would that do, worrying?).
She’d, admittedly, had some… odd feelings, in that time, though. They were hard to explain, sort of like someone was watching or following her, but whenever she looked, there was no one. (You worry too much) She hadn’t said anything about it to anyone, yet, but she was starting to think she should.
The bright side about Zero being gone, though, after she told the others about it, was that she had a lot more time. She’d chose to spend that time either in her little garden, or with Noa. But whenever she was with Noa, she couldn’t help but think about the conversation about her that Mayu and Zero had had, before he left.
What if someone else hadnoticed that strange energy Zero mentioned? What then? (You’re worrying again)
She was starting to think that Noa was noticing how distracted she was. She should probably talk with Noa about that, too.
Mayu scrolled idly through her phone, sitting on the ground in the garden, leaning up against a particularly large rock. She’d just finished watching a video of someone building a really large wooden bag of popcorn, then filling it with a lot of popcorn and using it to prank some friends. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to do at that moment, so she filled the time with watching videos instead. She supposed. Setting her phone down for a moment, she learns her head back and closed her eyes.
Not knowing what exactly to do with herself, like this at least, was a bit of an odd feeling for Mayu. She was trying to get through it, at least, but it wasn’t exactly easy, since she didn’t really know what she was trying to get through. Maybe she should just add it to the list of things she should talk to Noa about. (Not that you actually have to talk to her about any of it) Which she should get around to doing. Soon.
When she opened her eyes, the sun was starting to go down. She frowned and checked the time on her phone. Mayu hadn’t thought she’d spent so much time out (Yet you have, one way or another), but it seemed like she had. Standing, she dusted herself off, feeling more tired than she’d thought she would have, given how little she’d really done today. (Oh, how little you’ve done… Yet it’s a lot more than you think.)
Mayu shakes her head to clear it of her straying thoughts, she should head home before her parents start worrying.
---
Once more, Mayu checked her phone for the time. There was no way that she just spaced out for three hours. Not when she had an alarm set to remind her to meet up with Noa. The alarm had been set for what was now two and a half hours ago (Noisy thing). She texts Noa, apologizing for being late, but saying that they really needed to talk. Because they did, she’d put it off long enough. There was a lot to talk about, she just had to figure out what to start with.
Noa’s already at the park where they were going to meet, sitting on one of the benches. She waves when she sees Mayu, “Hey, what’s up?” She already sounds concerned, which is fair, all things considered.
Mayu sits down beside her and considers what to start with. “Well, I’ve been having this… strange feeling, I guess. Lately.”
“Like what?”
“Like… Like someone’s watching me. Or following. But every time I look… I don’t see anyone.” Mayu sighed. She hadn’t exactly realized how much that had been stressing her out, not that sharing it with Noa made it much better. “But it’s not just that, now.”
Watching her carefully, Noa notes, “That’s already pretty bad.”
Letting out a scoff, Mayu can’t help but agree, “Yeah, well you know how I missed even saying anything to you until two hours after we were supposed to meet?” She didn’t wait for Noa to answer, “I closed my eyes and next thing I know it’s two hours later. That’s not the first time something like that has happened. I keep closing my eyes and then next thing I know an hour or more has passed…”
“Oh, Mayu… That’s…”
“I’m scared, Noa,” Mayu says quietly, “I don’t know what to do.”
Noa’s face scrunches up as she thinks, “Maybe you should tell someone else about it? It’s pretty concerning…” She pauses, again in thought, “Maybe Riku or something? It’s definitely not normal.”
Shaking her head, Mayu can’t agree, “No, I don’t want to worry them.”
“But Mayu,” Noa pleads, “You’re scared and I’m worried. I really don’t think this is something you can just brush off…”
“I just… I don’t think it’s worth worrying them about,” Mayu insists, “Not yet.”
“If you say so…”
“They’ve got a lot more to worry about then whatever I’ve got going on,”
That’s where the conversation ends. It’s not until Mayu gets home that she realizes she forgot to talk to Noa about the strange energy she apparently had. She’d have to tell her some other time it seemed.
---
Mayu’s on her way home from school when Kurow appears seemingly out of nowhere. She jumps a bit, but otherwise is glad to see him. She’d been starting to worry about him, after she hadn’t even so much as seen him.
“Oh, Kurow, I was starting to wonder if something happened to you,”
“No,” He responds, then rather awkwardly adds, “Have you been… well?” He sounds unsure if he’s speaking correctly.
With a small and awkward laugh, Mayu responds, “Uh, yeah, I guess. Haven’t exactly been doing much, Zero left to go do some stuff, so I’m just kind of… existing, I guess,” She shrugs, “What have you been up to?”
He stares at her for a moment, before also shrugging, “Not much, I guess,” Then, his brow furrows ever so slightly and he adds, “Well, I guess I’ve been looking into some things.”
“What sort of things?”
“That’s not… That’s not very important. Don’t worry about it,” They stand in silence for a moment and Mayu wonders if she should just go back on her way. As she begins to take a step away, Kurow speaks up once more, “Listen, has everything been alright? I think I’ve seen you just… Walking, the past couple weeks. But not like normal… Like you’re not yourself.”
Mayu blinks. That doesn’t sound right. “You have?” Kurow’s face twists into something that mightcount as worried and he nods. “I don’t… remember that.” She thinks for a moment, before admitting, “Although… I’ve been having these moments of losing time. Like, I close my eyes and then it’s an hour later.”
Kurow looks surprised at that, “Mayu that’s not normal,”
“I know,”
“Who else have you told?”
“Er,” She begins sheepishly, “Noa?”
“Just Noa?” Kurow sounds like he can’t decide whether to be annoyed or something else. At least as much as he ever seems to. “Mayu, you should tell someone else. One of those other friends of yours, maybe.”
“They already have too much on their plate,” Mayu says, and she thinks if she says it enough, it will become more true, “I can’t bother them with this.”
“Somehow I don’t think they’d be bothered,” Kurow sighed, “But since it seems I can’t convince you… Just be… Careful or something. I don’t know.”
She regards him for a moment, wondering if this really was the Kurow she’d been beginning to think he was. “I thought you didn’t care,”
His shoulders tense up and brings one of his hands out of his pocket to rub at his forehead. It’s a weirdly human gesture, one that she’s not used to seeing on him. “It’s just. Ugh,” He groaned and Mayu thinks that maybe he’s a bit better at expressing emotions than she’d thought. “It’s different with you.”
Mayu wasn’t sure how to respond to that, “Ex-excuse me?”
“I don’t know how to explain it,” He sounds a bit angry, or annoyed, when he said it, “Just, keep out of trouble or whatever.” And with that he turns around and leaves, leaving Mayu standing confused. What had just happened? Was Kurow sick or something? That seemed a bit out of character for him…
Or maybe he just cared about her, as odd of a thought as that was. (But why would he?)
---
Kurow was not sure what to make of the revelations that Mayu had so nonchalantly dropped on him in their conversation. He’d sought her out both because he’d seen her acting so odd, but also because he had genuinely wanted to see her – as much as he hated to admit that. Now though, he had other things to worry about. While Mayu didn’t want to do much about her odd blackouts, Kurow wasn’t just going to sit around and do nothing.
What was it that she said, sometimes? Sitting around doing nothing won’t get you anywhere.
So he was going to get up and do something. He’d already been looking into a lot of alien activity in the city. He’d found out that the Pitts had been working for someone and he wanted to find out who. He managed to trace them back to a group of Alien Dadas who were working for a group of Alien Babarus, who were working for a group of Alien Magmas. Those Alien Magmas were working for a guy named Emari, a nasty alien from several galaxies and a few dimensions over.
Emari seemed just like the type of person that an Ultraman like Zero would be chasing after. Kurow was certain that Emari’s appearance on Earth being shortly followed by Zero’s was no coincidence. This meant that Emari most likely knew that Mayu was Zero’s host… He might have been watching her and might have known that Zero was gone.
That didn’t actually explain much, though. A part of the problem was that Kurow had no clue what Emari could do. There wasn’t really a good way of figuring that out on his own. He needed someone who might have that information…
Which is what brought him to Noa, Mayu’s friend. Kurow, even now, wasn’t sure what to make of her. She seemed like a normal human, but there was something about her that wasn’t quite right. It wasn’t always very obvious but… But he just wasn’t sure. Either way, as much as he hated it, he needed her help.
In some uncanny manner, she manages to notice him before he’s even very close to her. She waves and calls out, “Hi Ayumu! Haven’t seen you in a while.”
He waits until he’s closer to actually speak to her, “I need your help with something,”
Noa jumps, startled and looking at him like he’s grown a few extra pairs of appendages, “Did you just… You can talk?”
Kurow rolls his eyes, “Yes, now listen,” And Noa does, “I need you to take me to those friends of yours. The AIB. But you can’t tell Mayu.”
At that, Noa looks like she’s about ready to fist fight him if she has to, “And why not?”
“It may have something to do with her… moments of losing time, so to speak,” He tells her, trying not to look to bugged, “She doesn’t want anyone to worry about it.”
Noa’s face scrunches up, “Then why are you, of all people?”
“Because I think it has to do with a lot more than she thinks.”
She doesn’t respond immediately, looking like she wants to argue. Then her shoulders fall, “Alright, then. Off we go, I suppose.”
As it turns out, Noa’s idea of taking him to meet the AIB was meeting up with them in a park. Which was fine, he didn’t really care, so long as he was able to speak with them. Standing beside him, Noa crosses her arms.
Across from him is Moa, and beside her is who he can only presume is Zena. Moa smiles at him, “Kurow, it’s good to see that you’re… okay.”
Kurow rolls his eyes, “Let’s not waste time,” He said bluntly, “I’m only here for one reason. You remember those Alien Pitts?”
“Oh, the ones that were chasing after you?”
“That’s not the important part,” He reminds them, “I did some… digging. It turns out that those Pitts were connected to an alien called Emari. You might know him as the reason that Ultraman Zero was on this Earth.”
Zena expresses even less emotion than Kurow when he says, “That shouldn’t be a problem for you,”
Kurow can’t help but feel… something… flare up. Not exactly annoyance, but close. “It’s not, but that’s also not why I’m here,” He acknowledges, “Emari’s still here, he knows that Zero left, and he knows that Mayu was Zero’s host.”
Moa’s eyes widen, “You think she might be in danger?”
Looking away, to the side opposite of where Noa stands, Kurow simply says, “I’m not discounting it.” Then he adds, “Not to sound… Rude, I guess, but in a fight between a stick and Mayu, I think the stick would win. If someone wanted to do something to her, there wouldn’t be much she could do on her own. She might not even be entirely aware it’s happening.”
After having spent the whole conversation listening, Noa butts in, “Wait, do you think that’s what’s been happening?” And Moa looks confused at the question, while Zena doesn’t seem to react at all. That shouldn’t make Kurow feel like it does. It proves to Kurow that the two really didn’t know about what had been going on with Mayu. She really was stubborn. The expression on Noa’s face shifts to what can only be fear, “Kurow. Kurow. What do you think has been happening?”
He turns to face Noa, “I think, I’ve seen her in places she wouldn’t and shouldn’t be, acting in a way that she probably never would of her own accord.” He states bluntly, “I think, she hasn’t been in control of her actions during those times, nor is she aware of it.”
Across from them, Moa looks terribly shocked. Almost as though she can’t believe what she’s hearing. Zena, though, is the one who speaks, “You think that Emari is controlling her,” He states, because it’s clearly not a question, “But you don’t have anyway of figuring out if that’s something he can do. That’s why you’ve come to us.”
“Bingo,” And if Kurow were a different person, he’d grin. Instead, he let his lips twitch a little, “Got it in one.”
Zena regards him for a moment, not that Kurow has any clue what might be going though the other Alien Shadow’s head. Finally, Zena responds, “It’s certainly something we have evidence to say he can do,”
“But why?” Moa asks, “What’s his goal?”
There’s a few things that Kurow could suggest. To use against Zero, to use against the AIB, to use against him. But he doesn’t say any of them, instead, he just shrugs. “Could be plenty of things.” And that’s all he actually says on the matter.
“There is one question I have for you, Kurow,” The way that Zena says his name, though unemotional and blank, bugs something in the back of Kurow’s brain. It takes all of Kurow’s self-restraint, all his barely repressed annoyance and anger at what he’d gone through before being thrown off his planet, not to just stop and straighten up. But Kurow, contrary to what one might think, is actually a bit of a spiteful being. So he doesn’t and Zena continues, “Why are you going through all this trouble? It doesn’t benefit you.”
Some part of Kurow knew that someone would ask the question eventually, it doesn’t surprise him that it’s Zena. There’s a lot of ways he could answer, but in a situation like this, the real reason isn’t one that should so simply be tossed about. After a moment of thought, he answers, “Mayu’s… A nice person. She’s kind in a way that makes me think she does it to spite everyone who thinks she shouldn’t. It would be a shame if something bad happened to her. And it would be bad for everyone here if Emari does something to this planet, like he clearly wants to. So I’m just doing my part so I don’t have to go find another planet to live on.” He turns around, “This one’s kind of nice-“
He sees something, out of the corner of his eyes. He can’t make out what exactly but… Then he sees it again. This park is pretty much empty save for them, so any movement stands out. For a similar reason, he’s only slightly surprised that the Alien Magma he sees moving isn’t disguised.
“Magma,” He says, then dodges out of the way of the Magma’s incoming hand. Except, instead of trying to grab him, it goes for behind him. The only person behind him is Noa.
Noa makes a sound that’s a mix between and scream and a gasp as the Alien Magma grabs her arm and pulls her towards him. She tries to wiggle her way free, but the Magma seems to have to tight of a grip on her. The Magma moves back away from them as Kurow moves forward to try to pry the Magma’s hands off Noa, he’s followed by Zena and Moa.
The Magma is moving too quickly though, “Thanks for leading me right to what I was looking for, Shadow,” The Magma says in an annoyingly smug manner, “The Boss will be really happy about this.”
Attempting to elbow the Magma, Noa yelps, “Hey! Let go of me!” This has little effect, unfortunately, and the next thing anyone knows, the Alien Magma and Noa are gone.
Moa stares at where the two were just a moment before, “…What…?”
Kurow, though, realized that Mayu’s weird but not so weird friend was a lot weirder than he’d initially thought. At least, if the Magma’s interest and search for her was any indication. As far as Kurow was concerned, it was.
The Magma had mentioned having been looking for Noa, which seemed pretty odd. Unless it wasn’t Noa that the Magma was looking for? But then why would he say that he had been? Then he thanked Kurow – presumably the Shadow he was referring to – for leading him to her. That obviously meant that the Magma had been following Kurow. He’d probably been doing it since Kurow had tracked down the Alien Magma base, when he was following the thread from the Alien Pitts. The last thing that the Magma had said was that “the Boss” would be happy about him getting Noa. Kurow could only assume that “the Boss” was most likely Emari.
There were a lot of things in that train of thought that was bad. “I should go,” He glanced at Moa and Zena, before turning to leave. “I have things to do.”
“Wait,” Moa scrambles, “What do you mean?”
Kurow holds in the feeling of a sigh, debating with himself if he should tell them. He has no reason to trust the AIB, but they were also probably the best equipped to deal with this, at least until Zero returned. Even then, there was no guarantee that Zero would be able to do much about Noa, given everything with Mayu.
Some part of Kurow gave him an odd feeling at the thought. He didn’t care much about Noa, except what reasons that the Magma – and more importantly Emari – might want her for. But he didn’t want to see something bad happen to Mayu. He also knew that Mayu would probably be upset if something happened to Noa. So, he supposed that the thing he should do is try to tell them at least something about what he’s planning. Even if he didn’t really want to.
“Zena, have you ever noticed anything… strange, about Noa?”
Zena’s expression didn’t change, not that it ever did, “Perhaps,” He says, not really answering Kurow’s question, because of course he wasn’t, “You think that it might have something to do with the Magma kidnapping her?”
Shoving his hands in his pockets, Kurow hopes he portrays how obvious he thinks the answer to that question is, “I’m almost certain,” It was the only real answer, “Why else would anyone go through the trouble of kidnapping an otherwise average human?”
“Then,” Zena begins, “Do you know where the Alien Magma base is?”
Looking between the two of them, Moa looked a combination of concerned and just sort of lost. She looked between the two of them. Kurow debated what to do from here. He could tell Zena and Moa where the Magmas’ base was, but there was no guarantee that Noa was even there. He was certain that Emari had his own base, and once he got ahold of Noa – however long or short of a time it took for that to happen – she would surely be there.
“It might not matter,” Is what he chooses to say, “There’s no guarantee that by the time you get there that she’s still there.”
“Oh,” Moa chimes in, “You think that Emari will bring her to wherever he’s hiding out.”
“It’s certainly a possibility,” Zena considers, “We’d need to know for certain where Noa is.”
Considering his options, Kurow wondered if he was really about to say what he was pretty sure he was about to say. It was incredibly stupid and not really worth it, but for some reason, he felt inclined to. Maybe Mayu was rubbing off on him an ungodly amount. “I could figure it out,” He said, after much deliberation, “I know where the Magma base is, and I could probably get in there unnoticed. I’d be able to see if she’s still there.”
“That’d be very dangerous,” Zena responded, “And what would you gain from it.”
“I’m offering to help you,” Kurow couldn’t help the edge in his voice, “Don’t question it too much or I’ll just leave.”
It was then that Moa intervened, “That would be very helpful, Kurow!” She said, with a terribly enthused smile on her face. He was pretty sure she was faking it, but it was probably for the best someone intervened regardless, “We’ll let you get to it.”
Only after that and Moa dragging Zena off, did Kurow realize that he didn’t really have a way to get it contact with them even if he wanted to. Well, he figured he’d manage, one way or another.
---
On the outside always looking in,
Will I ever be more than I’ve always been?
Mayu wasn’t entirely sure where this was. It seemed like her garden, but something was… off. There was this sort of haze around the whole thing that made it feel like all the details were blurry. A fog lingered across the ground and in the air, while it felt like just beyond the edge of the trees, something was lurking.
She wasn’t sure if she was imagining it.
‘Cause I’m tap, tap, tapping on the glass
I’m waving through the window
When she tried to go past the trees, she’d find herself walking into the fog. Once she’d exit the fog, she’d be right back in the garden. She’d tried over and over again, until finally, her legs were too tired to keep trying.
I try to speak but nobody can hear
Do I wait around for an answer to appear?
Sliding her back down the rock, she came to a sitting position on the ground, with her back against the rock. She brings her legs up to her chest and wraps her arms around them.
While I’m watch, watch, watching people pass
Waving through the window
She’s so terribly alone. Alone, scared, and confused. What was this place? Why did she always end up back here? How did she get her?
Can anybody see?
Is anybody waving…?
She’d accepted she wasn’t getting any answers.
When you’re falling in a forest and there’s nobody around
Do you ever really crash or even make a sound?
When you’re falling in a forest and there’s nobody around
Do you ever really crash or even make a sound?
Did I even make a sound, did I even make a sound?
It’s like I never made a sound
Will I ever make a sound?
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