#all the disclaimers and trigger warnings are tiring af

[enbycalicocat]

Day 24: 19th of February, 2021

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TRIGGER WARNING!

+ Implied/mentioned self harm (doesn’t happen within the story)

+ Very negative mindset (might be upsetting for some)

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Below is a summary in case you need it (CONTAINS SPOILERS):

The main character is a diagnosed psychopath that’s going through his morning routine. During that he has some upsetting thoughts about how lonely he is, how difficult it is to pretend to be like everyone else, how he wishes he could be himself and people would love him like that, and so on. Then at the end, he mentions that psychopaths don’t necessarily have to be aggressive with other people, they can do that to themselves (and here he talks about self-harming himself later when he gets to work).

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DISCLAIMER!

I’m not an expert in any sense of the word about the mental disorder described in this story. I’m basing the stuff I write off of articles and researches and interviews. You can ask me and I’ll give you the sources. That said, please do not take what I wrote as an accurate or precise description.

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The alarm began to sing somewhere near me and I just hit snooze and went back to sleep. I needed to sleep a bit more. I'd gone to sleep late the day before yesterday and still felt incredibly tired. Plus, I'd been working on my personal projects a lot these days and that took up a lot of time and was also very exhausting. I deserved ten more minutes of sleep.

 There was a knock on the door and I woke with a start. My mom told me to get up from the other side and I thought with curiosity, did I miss when the alarm sounded again? Checking the phone, I realized that no, the second alarm hadn't sounded yet, there were still two minutes left.

 Getting off the bed, I felt mildly irritated. All I wanted was to sleep ten more minutes. Not half an hour, or something. What was ten minutes? Nothing! Couldn't I get that much?

 Once dressed, I went out of my room and heard the sounds of popping oil. Ah, right, I had to make the rice. My mom had told me the night before. But when I entered the kitchen, I found the rice was already cooking. Well, then, I would use this time to make my breakfast. I needed to start eating at the right times. The articles I read said the body functioned a lot better when we ate at the same times every day.

 "Please check if the rice is already cooked and turn the stakes onto their other side."

 Internally, I wanted to say no. There were things I needed to do (like my breakfast). But I had learned early on that I should accept the things my mom asked me to do unless I couldn't achieve them with my current ability, or the things I should be doing instead could not be postponed.

 "Okay."

 The rice and the stakes taken care of, I quickly washed the tuppers I used to store my lunch and bring it with me. Seriously, couldn't my mom wash them? I needed to finish that thing I was writing yesterday, and I was tired from staying up the day before, so I went to sleep really early. Washing them would've taken five minutes tops. And yet here they were, unwashed.

That done, I finally made my breakfast. And finally ate. Half an hour later than I should've.

 "You were supposed to make the rice today."

 I looked at my mom, and determined from her tone of voice and her face that she was not at all pleased with me right now. But, why? I needed to sleep a little longer. Why can't I?

 "I told you I wanted to start leaving the house ten minutes earlier. Because I was not arriving on time at the house of my first client."

 Ah. I didn't really think my mom's request was that important. I wanted to sleep longer. I was her son. She could perfectly make up some excuse and her client would eat it right up. I'd seen her done it before. So, why couldn't she do it today?

But I had to consider her needs and the things she wanted. And had to put her first sometimes. Because that's what people did for each other. What normal people did.

 "Sorry mom. It's just that I was really sleepy. I didn't sleep well a few nights ago because of the drops that fall from that pipe within the walls. It woke me up at three thirty a.m. and I couldn't go back to sleep at all. And that same day I had gone to sleep really late, almost twelve a.m. because I had to finish writing. And then yesterday, I couldn't take a nap."

 I affected a very cutesy and pitiful voice, sounding as if I felt really bad about not cooking the rice as I had promised. My facial and body gestures changed as well. All done to appeal to her. So, that she wouldn't get angry. If she got angry, it would be a pain in the ass. And I wanted nothing to do with that. Thank you very much.

 My mom fell for it reluctantly. As we finished getting ready, for the remaining time in the house, I made a conscious and strenuous effort to pay attention to the things she wanted and put them first. Once in the car and on the way to the mall where I worked, I could finally relax and stop watching my mom's every move and word.

 Inside me, I heaved a sigh of relief. That had been some very tiring thirty minutes. And extremely lonely too. I hadn't wanted to do any of that. I didn't care. I had things to do. And I wanted to get them done first. Whatever my mom needed could wait.

But no. I couldn't do that. I couldn't say that. I couldn't put myself first like I wanted. Because that's not what people did. That's not how they behaved. It's not 'normal'. And I had to be like everyone else. Normal. However, doing that was exhausting, soul-sucking work. Because I was a psychopath.

 Empathy and average human interactions were not something I knew or could perform naturally. It was all an act. A mask. A persona. As if I were on stage.

 As I sat, my eyes were firmly trained on the window beside me with headphones in even though I wasn't really paying attention to the scenery and there was no music playing. This is what my psychologist calls closed-off body language. It makes it clear for people that I don't want them to talk to me. No eye-contact is really important in order to give the 'I don't want to talk' message. For me it's just usual behavior since I never look at people when they interact with me. But the 'body language' was based on the way neurotypicals perceived the world. Not on people like me.

 I wondered if I would ever be able to tell my mom about my diagnosis. If I would ever be able to take the masks off and just be me, the real me. If she would love me for who I really am. But the people around me had made it clear from very early in my life that no one wanted the real me. I was unpleasant. I was unlovable. I was not what they wanted. Not what they expected. And I had to be the way they wanted me to.

 Frustration coursed through my veins. Where is the fairness in that? I had to bend over backwards to be what they wanted me to be. I had to act stupidly and say stupid stuff to keep my job and keep a roof under my head. I had to be someone else entirely to exist in this goddamned world, to be able to pay for food and have the right to live and breathe.

 But no one stopped to think about how that felt. No one stopped to think about how humiliating and degrading that was.

 Why did I have to change for them? Why couldn't they change for me?

 Why did I have to be born like this? Why couldn't I be like everyone else? Why couldn't I control it? Why did it have to be this hard?

 Why couldn't they just love me?

 My hands traced the inside of my arms, hidden under the long-sleeved shirt I was wearing, feeling the scabs formed over the cuts.

 People where always worried about psychopaths being aggressive and killing. They knew psychopaths killed people, killed human beings, killed living beings in general. But they didn't stop to think (did they ever, really?) that psychopaths were people, human beings, living beings, and that they could be killed too, by their own hands. We were aggressive and tended towards killing, true, but that didn't necessarily imply someone else, we could just as well just be aggressive with ourselves, kill ourselves.

 So, I bottled my frustration, my anger, my disappointment, my loneliness, and saved it for later. Later, when I had a razor and the door of the store I worked in was locked and I was alone with my body.

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Prompt:

24. Describe the exact day you just had, but from the point of view of a psychopath.

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Previous Day

Next Day

[snowbabys]

Gardening Club ⋆ part 8

(Disclaimer: i do not condone this behavior, nor think the idol acts like this in any way. this is purely fiction and for entertainment purposes only.)

Series masterlist

Pairing: yan!jungwon x gn!reader, niki x gn!reader (ft. jay? and heeseung)

TW/Trigger warning: mentions of food and eating, toxic behavior, mentions of a dead body.

Warning/notes: everyone's the same age for plot sake, i'm no expert in writing investigations so it's pretty superficial, some angst.

Author's note: so we had a small change of plans. i'm pissed off af, but we're having one more part. let's just accept it and go on with our lives. thanks for reading, and i see you in the real last part~

Word count: 2,797

One week. It took Niki one week to go back to school. Seven days of mourning that were closely watched and endured with you, also allowed to stay at home during the period of initial investigations into Jay’s death. On the first day, right after the discovery of the body, Niki looked desperate, hyperventilating, anxiety all-consuming as he couldn’t take his eyes off of what once was Jay. He didn’t notice the crowd of students forming around the body until Heeseung was yelling and kicking everyone out, some pointing and discussing, others with cell phones recording the scene. Niki looked down at you, took one of your hands, and pulled you inside the gymnasium, minimally relieved not to have the body in sight or all those people suffocating him with their annoying remarks about his dead friend.

You laid against one of the gymnasium’s walls and watched officers coming in and Jay’s body being carried away, completely covered, while Niki’s head rested on your shoulder, eyes trained on the stretcher that transported the body.

“Why would someone do that?” You whispered to him, looking down to find his teary eyes already on you. “Why Jay?” He looked away to the entrance and sighed heavily, tired, and when you looked in the same direction, there was Jungwon, confused by the unusual flow of students, especially with the police’s presence. He walked towards you, and with every step he took, Niki shifted more uncomfortably, the two of you standing up when Jungwon was close enough.

“What do you want?” That was the first thing Niki asked, surprising you with his abruptness.

“Can we talk?” Jungwon’s eyes glazed over you, stone cold, and you couldn’t help the shivers running down your spine with how serious his tone was. Niki stood in front of you, his shoulder blocking your vision of Jungwon, so all you could see was Niki’s muscles tensing. “About them…”

“Stay here, please.” It’s what Niki told you before walking outside beside Jungwon, leaving you for a few minutes until he was back, alone, with completely dry and angry eyes avoiding contact with yours. Mind racing miles, you were scared of what they'd discussed, and immediately grabbed Niki’s arm.

“What did he say?” He didn’t have time to answer. An officer approached you holding a notepad before he could open his mouth.

“Kids, I’m sorry you had to see that. Were you close with the victim?” He studied your expressions, interspersing his gaze between you and your friend.

“A bit…” you answered first, reaching for Niki’s hand to ease your apprehension.

“Anyone on the scene when you got there?” The officer watched your movements, quickly noting your answers.

“No one, sir.”

“Do you know anyone who might have had something against your friend?” You and Niki exchanged glances, you contemplating the idea of mentioning how Jungwon and Jay acted weird around each other, Niki cutting your thoughts with his quick retort.

“No, unfortunately not.”

“Any bullies in the school?” He looked at Niki directly, searching for anything he could be letting pass by.

“Nothing. I’m sorry I can’t help, sir,” Niki’s hand lightly squeezed yours, demonstrating his uneasiness.

“If you notice anything, don’t be afraid to contact the police or the school’s management. We’re going to find out who did this to your friend,” the officer wrote down one more thing and gave you a lipped smile.

“Thank you, sir,” you both say and observe him walk up to another student nearby.

Heeseung, who looked terrible, still crying and his voice hoarse, warned you that the school would close to help the investigators, and you were dismissed and free to go home after talking to one of them. While walking to the school gates, you ran into Jungwon, who was also making his way home. Unlike Niki, who was desolate and red-eyed, staring at the ground constantly, or other students who chattered about the investigation curiously, Jungwon seemed disturbingly calm. He didn’t look like he’d cried at the news, and he didn’t look curious, much less shocked or affected, either. You watched him carefully as he approached you and Niki, arms crossed and looking at your hand entwined with your friend’s.

“Y/n, you’re okay?” His voice was soft, like his eyes, and he touched your shoulder in a consoling way when you looked at him. You nodded, not having much energy to do more, and kept walking, inspecting how Niki maintained his silence and Jungwon looked at the surroundings, now and then puffing out his cheeks or biting his lips, which made you suspicious of his demeanor. What kind of coping mechanism was that?

When in front of Niki’s house, you and Jungwon stopped and glared at each other. Without words, Niki separated from you and went inside, making you sigh with exhaustion.

“I’m assuming you’re spending the day with Niki,” you were perplexed once more, not only with Jungwon’s reactions but also his word choices. It’s not like you guys were on vacation, but he made it sound like you were.

“He’s not well,” you exhaled, annoyed, decided to voice your thoughts for the first time. “Aren’t you sad about this whole thing?”

“Of course I am,” he scoffed, not minding how you squint your eyes at him. “Jay was a dear friend.” He nodded and went inside his house, not saying more. You didn’t give yourself time to be irked or complain, rapidly walking towards Niki’s room, where you knew you’d spend quite some time.

The second and third days were the hardest. You stayed at Niki’s house, offering hugs and your shoulder for him to cry on whenever he needed. It broke your heart to see your best friend hide his face and cry himself to sleep, leaving your shirt wet and mind heavy with the guilt of not being able to relieve his pain. You trembled with every sob, pressing him against you as much as humanly possible in an attempt to comfort him, failing most of the time, but being able to enjoy the sound of his soft snores. Sometimes he had a few hours of sleep and peace, but sometimes he was woken up with nightmares of Jay and his corpse. In both cases, he’d always wake up in your arms and squeeze you while mumbling thanking words on your shoulder.

On the fourth day, Niki started to recall and tell you about his memories with Jay. He particularly loved the story of when Jay found out that Heeseung had a girlfriend. He was the butt of jokes all week after the girl scolded him for leaving a bite mark on Heeseung’s neck, and Jay, being dramatic as always, lashed out at the girl until a laughing Heeseung stopped them to assume his relationship to his friend and the playful situation in which the mark was received to his girl. Niki went over in detail all the cursing and complaints Jay made him listen to for the rest of the day, specifically the part where Jay addressed Heeseung as “liar and disloyal”.

You were able to fully distract Niki on the fifth day with games and talking about situations from when you were younger. He giggled cutely whenever you lost to him, immediately going to intertwine your fingers to play with them and sulking at your terrible gaming skills. His hearty laugh echoed in the room every time you looked at him wide-eyed, scared with the accidental cracking of his bones while making weird shapes.

You’ve lost count of how many times you lied together on the floor, hands clasped as you stared at the ceiling in some existential crisis, just like you’d done when your friendship started to flourish years ago. The most memorable moment was when you snuggled into his chest, feeling cold and sleepy, and he hugged you tighter than ever, making you feel your heart beating impossibly fast. Ruled by your sleepiness, you asked him about the night he ran home with tears in his eyes, frustrated with how the order of events meant he never told you what he was preparing, what was the surprise he told you about. His reply took all your sleepiness away.

“I didn’t have the heart to confess.” Then, before you could say anything, he pulled away enough to look you in the eyes and analyze them for a few seconds, soon adding, “But I think I have it now.”

You remember vividly how your heart thumped against your chest, like fireworks exploding inside you, as he described his love. It all made you so confused with your own feelings, but you also couldn’t contain the urge to wrap your arms around his neck and squeeze him tightly.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” You asked after hugging him for a long time.

“I was scared…” You’ve never seen Niki so flushed until that day, avoiding eye contact and voice oscillating. “And you like Jungwon. How can I compete with him?”

“It’s not a competition, dummy,” you said as you drew back and pinched his cheek, chuckling at the grimace he gave you in response.

“So you like me more than him?”

“Niki,” you sighed, gathering your thoughts and feelings, and began, keeping his gaze fixed on yours. “We’ve been friends for five years, and, though I never realized it before, I see now how I couldn’t live without you. Yang Jungwon never gave me his blueberry muffin when I cried for dropping mine.” You both giggled at the memory, how you curled up to your knees and cried like a baby looking at the shattered muffin on the floor. A grumpy Niki handed you his muffin, complaining you’d have to pay him, even though he never really charged you for it. “And Jungwon never shared his strawberry milk with me when we didn't have enough money to buy two boxes.”

“That’s your fault; you squandered it all on candies,” Niki said as he lifted one of his hands to your face, his thumb caressing your cheek. “Wait, y/n?” You leaned on his chest, laying your chin on your hands and humming for him to continue. “Does that mean we’re dating?”

“I don’t know,” you whispered, as confused as he was. “Do you wanna be my boyfriend?”

“Yes?” You rolled your eyes and puffed playfully at his questioning tone.

“Are you that sure?”

“Yes, yes. I say yes,” he rolled over until he was on top of you, putting all his weight on your body and tittering at your fake disgusted expression, not wasting more time and moving to peck your lips. “Where’s my ring? I need a diamond ring.”

“Shut up.”

It was the last time you saw him genuinely smiling during that week. The last two days were the transition from Niki’s sadness to worry. It got to you through Heeseung that the investigations were slowed down due to a lack of evidence. You were incredulous, but there wasn’t much you could do. You still wanted to confront Niki about everything he seemed to be keeping from you, question him about Jungwon and their relationship, and try to understand where and how Jay was connecting their actions. Of course, it pained you to think about Jay. From what you saw of him, he was a good friend and a nice person to be around, but you also couldn’t ignore the weird feeling creeping up your chest whenever you thought about all the mess you were in. It wasn’t the right time to question Niki either, as he was giving slow steps and going back to his usual playful and annoying self.

What truly made you intrigued, and you couldn’t wait to look into more, was Yang Jungwon. Everything went south when he entered your life. It was clear as day to you. During that whole week you spent on Niki’s side, you rarely got out, but whenever you did, there was Jungwon, on his doorstep, walking around or just sitting on the sidewalk. He made sure to approach you every single time, pretending he was just distracted, and ended up seeing you randomly. His words, once delicately directed at you, became intrusive day by day, going from “I hope you’re both doing okay” to “What exactly are you doing inside?”. Any time his eyes fell on you, you felt an itch in your hand and dryness in your throat, not entirely certain you were interacting with the same sweet guy who divided his lunch with you a week ago.

You didn’t share your thoughts on Jungwon with Niki, and you didn’t want to do so yet. Something was clearly wrong between them, and you were afraid of what could happen if you pulled any strings without knowing exactly what you were dealing with. It all led you to consider whether or not to ask Niki anything while having lunch on your first day back. You realized how he was anxious with the looks your colleagues were giving you, so you both decided on going to the terrace, which was favorably empty, but you lost yourself in your thoughts, and only saw you forgot to say something when it was almost time to get back and Niki clung to you, hugging you and pouting.

“Nikitty…” You touch the tip of his nose with yours, making him smile, taking the chance to leave a peck on his lips. “We’re gonna be late,” he hums and hides his face in the crook of your neck.

His voice is muffled, but you can make out what he’s trying to ask. “Just a little more?”

“We can cuddle later,” you offer, trying to free yourself from his arms to get your backpack, not too adapted to the idea of disturbing your professor’s class with a late arrival.

“Promise?” He keeps you in place, stretching his pinky out for you to connect with yours.

“Promise.”

Niki keeps your pinkies connected as you walk back to the classroom. He takes advantage of the almost empty hallways and pulls you to hug him sideways, giggling like a fool and making jokes to attack you with kisses when you smile. Next to your classroom, you pretend to be annoyed and gently push him away. He walks to the door and puts his head inside, taking a deep breath, relieved to see no teachers, just your colleagues talking inside. He comes back to you and intertwines your hands, pushing you softly until your back is against the wall.

“You know I love you?” You look up and hum, smirking at his annoyed huff.

“Hm, I’m not sure.”

“Dummy.” Niki checks your surroundings to see a professor coming from afar, so he steals another quick peck and runs inside, leaving you with a lingering feeling on your lips and hands.

The day continues moderately peaceful, with Niki insisting on holding your hands when you’re not busy and sending winks your way when you look at him, pretending he did nothing when a professor looked directly at your desk. That is until the time comes to start your activities at the club. You and Niki talk to the coordinator for a moment to catch up before taking your seats, Jungwon is sitting on the other side of your desk staring at you the entire time. Even when you are outside analyzing the club’s new acquisitions, he continues to lie a few steps away from you, always closer to Niki’s side, as he insisted that you stay as far away from Jungwon as possible. You started to get fed up with both of them, mad at Jungwon for his strange behavior and annoyed at Niki for never giving you any answers.

Jungwon only approaches you when you’re walking out of school, meeting you at the gates and interrupting your walk with an intense gaze on your hand intertwined with Niki’s.

“You’re dating?” Jungwon frowns and looks disappointed at Niki. “Did you forget what I told you?”

“What he’s talking about?” You use your free hand to touch Niki’s arm, confused by the sudden question. Examining his face, you only find discomfort and anger, while Jungwon seems happy with the situation he just put Niki into.

“Stay out of this, little one,” he whispers while pushing you behind him, irritated at Jungwon’s growing smile.

You feel something bubbling in your chest but can’t tell which of the boys triggered such a feeling. Both got on your nerves, and maybe, just maybe, you were close to your breaking point with them. You just opened your mouth to start, but Jungwon interrupts you.

“Sweetie,” he tilts his head for you to see him, a delighted grin on his lips when he lowers his voice volume. “Do you know it is Niki’s fault that Jay is dead?”

gc extras (3) | part 8 | part 9 (finale)

[thestral-queen-rules]

WELCOME TO MY 30 DAYS MOODBOARD CHALLENGE From: September 1 To: September 30

I am really excited for this challenge. there is no specific fandom in this challenge. you can skip the day if the topic is triggering or you are not feeling well that day. disclaimer: this is just for entertainment purposes only. let me know if you wanna be tagged in the posts. I will also reblog the posts of the people who are joining me in the challenge. thank you to all the people who are supporting this challenge!!! and if you wanna start making moodboards, this might be your chance!!!!! (This is my longest post)

RULES:

Do not post inappropriate pictures.

You can skip few days if you want and you can do the skipped topic with the next day's topic. if you don't want to do the skipped topic, it's alright.

If you come across this post in the middle of this challenge, feel free to join it at any time. just send me an ask.

No hate comments or bullying.

Mention triggers if used, and warn beforehand.

Please mention if you want your post to be reblogged or not in the tags or anywhere you want.

Please, please, please tag me in your posts. I would love to see them!!!!!

CHALLENGE:

Day 1 - a song that is stuck in your head for a very long time.

Day 2 - favorite art. (it can be anything you like. It can be an art by Van Gogh or da Vinci or even your favorite tiktok art or Instagram art. Please mention the artist if you know them)

Day 3 - favorite myth or epic.(it can be Ramayana, Mahabharata or any of your favorite myths or epics)

Day 4 - favorite fairy tale(Cinderella, beauty and the beast and such)

Day 5 - create your own aesthetic using the things around you (you can do this by clicking some pictures around you and edit them. Or you can find pictures from Pinterest or google that is similar to the things around you)

Day 6 - favorite quote (create a moodboard for your favorite quote. Like, how does the quote makes you feel.)

Day 7 - create a moodboard that is weird af (create a moodboard with weird ass pictures. You can do anything you want)

Day 8 - create a moodboard on what you are feeling right now (sad, happy, angry, or numb)

Day 9 - a song that is stuck in your head for a very long time pt.2 (in your native language. If English is your native language, do another one if you want or you can skip this)

Day 10 - your horoscope

Day 11 - your dream life

Day 12 - things you are missing due to the pandemic

Day 13 - your creation (this includes the art that you have done or any poems or fics you have written. Just make this moodboard to make you feel better about yourself. When you start searching for the things you know, you realize how much things you've done. And be proud of it)

Day 14 - favourite queen

Day 15 - favorite creature

Day 16 - favorite season

Day 17 - things you gained due to the pandemic.

Day 18 - favourite time of a day

Day 19 - create a character (create your own characters using pictures and use a quote that describes them)

Day 20 - create a new world (create a whole new world! If you can or create a moodboard for your favorite world)

Day 21 - favorite thing to do in your fandom ( I hve to explain this clearly. So, this is about the favorite things to do in your favorite fictional world. For example: hogwarts has classes like herbology, astronomy, divination etc. Which is your favorite class in hogwarts or any other fandom you are in. I don't know much about other fandoms but I hope there are things like that in other fandoms too)

Day 22 - favorite cartoon character

Day 23 - your aesthetic if your favorite fictional character is your boyfriend/girlfriend ;)

Day 24 - a moodboard inspired from your profile picture

Day 25 - create a moodboard for a ship of lifeless things. (For example: TV and remote, paper and glue, books and bookmarks. etc)

Day 26 - your dream appearance (your dream outfit and makeup and stuff)

Day 27 - favorite king

Day 28 - favorite day of the year

Day 29 - your aesthetic if you were a character in your favorite author's book/director's movie/series.

Day 30 - the aesthetic of your favorite book/movie/series.

_____________________________________________

I've already asked about the people who wanted to join this challenge and here's the list.

@smr-the-tired-crackhead

@silky-moon

@balladofableedingpoet2112

@yourbelovedannoyance

@little-star-aesthetic

@nightshade3465

@rainbowsnowflake

If you want to join or be tagged in the posts, please send me an ask!

@elentiyathemoonelf @ya-boi-leto @samalaingik @charmolypi-reverie @thebengalurubisexual @chandanbala @telugumeow @asperargus @adoginthemanger @sabrxna @paranoidnihilist @sarcasm-caffeine-and-chaos @wolfstarrysky @carmen-riddle @ashieverlore13 @crazy-beautiful @book-dragon-not-worm @guerrera-3010 @slytherinicequeen @hecalledmebeloved @wornoutconversegirl @wowyoufeelorphic @cupids-crystals @kajukatliontop @shirothestrangewolf @lemonphrogg @metalvenomludens7 @jugn00 @tonicaballos @nacho08 @starviki @stolen-kisses-pretty-lies @seekerbrave @the-stars-love-us @crystal-the-carrot @blndbandt @simpingforwillsolace @cipher-dorito @romanian-longhorn @charme-de-malchan @justalonelywriter @curious-fruitcake @chaoticaindica

[theunemployedrogue]

About/BYF

Last updated 08 November 2020

General Blog Info

Content: A menagerie of shit I find interesting or funny. 100% drop rate on cat content and shitposts, guaranteed. That’s all I can promise you, my friend. Pretty obsessed with Star Trek: DS9 at the moment. See further down for other fandoms.

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Do keep in mind that this blog is several years old and therefore older posts may reflect views I do not currently hold. I am human, and always learning and growing as a person.

About Me

Pronouns: She/her. Dude/bro/man etc. is perfectly fine too.

Age: 30 (yea I kno). I do not follow anyone who has clearly stated that they are under 18, and kindly ask you do not follow me if you are a minor.

I am mentally ill and I do write or reblog ‘negative’ content related to my illnesses and substance abuse that may be potentially upsetting or triggering to some. I try to keep these posts to a minimum and tag appropriately, but please be aware there will be such content on this blog at times.

I’m pretty shy and also forgetful, so between that and tumblr’s unreliable notification system I can be bad about responding to messages/comments. I don’t intend to be rude, and I apologize if I seem to ignore anyone.

Fandom-Related Info

Disclaimer: I acknowledge that some of my current and former ships and the content I’ve produced for them are (or could at least be interpreted as) problematic or triggering. Although my personal mantras are “fiction =/= reality” and “ship and let ship”, I fully understand why those beliefs don’t fly with everyone.

Please just block me if you feel uncomfortable with the subject matter I post. I understand everyone has their own reasons for disliking or feeling disturbed by certain ships or content, and I will not demand an explanation for differing opinions or argue with those who do not share my views. Likewise, I will not respond to discourse started by others.

I do not tag my fanfiction posted to tumblr with character names or gen tags, only the ship name. I cannot guarantee this will prevent the posts from appearing in a general search, however, as tumblr’s search picks up words within a post in addition to the tags.

I respect someone’s right to restrict their audience and do my best not to interact with blogs that have stated they don’t want certain users interacting with their content.

If I’ve reblogged your post and you want me to remove it from my blog, message me privately and I will gladly take it down. 

I encourage antis to block me so I do not accidentally interact with their content.

My Fandoms

I’m almost always a multi-shipper for any given fandom. While there are certainly ships I do dislike, I do my best to just avoid them and not make any negative posts about them on tumblr. I’m too old and too tired to be an ‘anti’ of anything (fandom-wise).

Not really active in any fandoms as a content creator at the moment, but the list below should give you an idea of what kind of fannish content you’ll find browsing this blog:

Star Trek: DS9

Marvel

Mainly MCU. Favorites include Thor, GotG, & Venom

BNHA

Elder Scrolls

Dragon Age

Mainly DA2

 VLD (formerly)

Star Trek: TOS/TNG/AOS

Steven Universe

Good Omens

The Walking Dead

Game of Thrones/ASOIAF