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#all toddlers go through it
theaceace · 4 months
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Hob is woken, not by the shrill cacophony of his alarm or the sunlight hitting his face where they'd forgotten to pull the curtains last night, or even the warmth of Morpheus' hands and mouth, but by the sudden dip in the mattress as another person flops onto the bed with them.
Several lifetimes' worth of instincts see him jolting awake in an instant, heart racing and sweat already beading on his back and brow. Hob may not be able to die, but he's been ambushed in his sleep more than enough times to be getting on with, ta very much, and he's not keen to do it again. Suddenly he's twenty-five, and exhausted after days of marching on Troyes, feet sore and heart sorer, waiting on a battle that never came. He's twenty-eight, and the knife that flashes in the darkness misses his throat only because Herry has ears like a bat and enough blind-foolish loyalty to leap on their attacker's back. He's seventy-three, and lying barely-conscious among the dead that need burying or burning, and he knows that he needs to rouse himself even with the arrow still in his chest, or he'll be burnt or buried with them. He's two-hundred and sixty-four, and they've come to the home he'd made for his family, to drag him from the bed he had shared with his wife some thirty years before, and haul him away as a witch.
He's gripped now by the same fear, and it has him up and moving, one hand fumbling at the bedside table for anything with enough heft to dent a skull before he realises that none of his attackers have ever smelt like peaches.
Beside him, Morpheus shifts just enough to free his face from the clutches of his pillow.
“That key was given to you for use in emergencies, my sibling,” he says, voice thick with sleep and the cotton pillowcase.
Desire stretches luxuriously between them and smiles, fox-sharp, at Morpheus. They roll their head to look at him – beneath the perfume and sweat and wet pavement smell of them, Hob catches a sour waft of alcohol.
“Oh but my dear brother, this is an emergency,” they say, and – look, Hob has been drunk enough to recognise the exquisitely deliberate care at the edges of their words. He huffs a little, pushes himself up so that he can slap a hand on the bedside lamp and blink furiously against the sudden light. It takes a few seconds for his vision to clear, and he rubs his hands over his face in a vain effort to convince himself that this is some new nightmare that Daniel is testing out, before he gives in to the inevitable and turns to examine their guest.
"And what could possibly be so pressing at –" Morpheus snatches Desire's wrist up to stare blearily at their watch "– two thirty-seven in the morning? That could not be expressed in a phone call or wait until a reasonable hour?"
"Do you know, brother mine, how many partners I found to dance with? Whose desire for me, once so integral as to be a given, I had to simply guess at? To read in the curve of a smile or the enticing lull of a question? I didn't know them, not a one, and can you guess, sweet Dream, how many of them took me to their beds?"
And Hob has heard quite enough of that. He stretches and tosses back the sheets, while Morpheus shoots him a filthy glower that softens immediately into a plea for respite with his sole visible eye. Desire either doesn't notice this silent communication, or doesn't care.
“None!” They crow gleefully, clasping their hands, and Morpheus scowls as he's jostled in place.
It's not that Hob wants to leave him to fend for himself against his sibling, only that he doesn’t fancy being in the firing line when Morpheus inevitably snaps and thumps Desire with a pillow.
Doing an admirable job of ignoring Morpheus' wounded expression, Hob groans and lurches himself in the vague direction of the kitchen. Might as well put the kettle on for this.
"Jasmine or apple tea, love?" He calls. No sense having any caffeine now. If they're lucky, Desire will wear themself out quickly and they'll be able to go back to sleep before the alarm goes off.
"Apple, if you would," Morpheus replies.
"Ooh, I'll have jasmine if you're making."
"Didn't ask you!" Hob shouts back, already adding a spoon of sugar to the third mug he'd fetched down for them. 
“Oh, so forceful! You know, if you ever get tired of my stick-in-the-mud brother here…” Desire trails off meaningfully, and Hob snorts, smiling a little to himself. They know full well it's not going to happen, however much or little they remember about his desires, and even if he were – impossibly – to change his mind about Morpheus, they'd get bored of him soon enough. 
He sets all three mugs on a tray, and grabs a pack of chocolate digestives while he's at it. Morpheus would never admit to being fond of them, but he doesn't need to. Hob's watched him absent-mindedly devour most of a packet while he pecks one-handed at the keyboard. Besides, Desire could probably do with something to line their stomach. 
“Is being human always this delightfully contradictory? So baffling and solid and… damp?” Desire asks, lifting their head just enough to peer at Hob as he re-enters the room. It's a moot question, of course. They've been human long enough now to know that the answer is, largely, yes. 
“Often. But do you know, my sibling, the very best part of being human?” Desire turns lazily to look at Morpheus, smiling wide. Their lipstick today is dark purple, and smudged at the corners of their mouth. 
“Mm, do tell. You know how much I crave your… wisdom,” they say, rolling the words indulgently over their tongue. Hob sighs and nudges Morpheus’ book to one side so he can set the tray down on the nightstand on his side of the bed.
“It is that it is no longer against the Old Laws for me to do this,” Morpheus says, planting one foot against their side and shoving hard enough that they topple off the bed with an outraged squawk and undignified thump. There's a blessed moment of stillness, the same kind of breathless anticipation that Hob remembers from the battlefield, before the charge and the mud and the pain. Then they pop back up over the side of the bed with a cry and launch themself at Morpheus. He'd be more worried if he couldn’t hear the laughter in their voice, nor see how their outstretched hands target Morpheus’ ribs and armpits, rather than his eyes.
Hob's sisters have been dead for centuries now, but he remembers this well enough.  Maybe if the Endless had ever been anything like children, they might have gotten all of the murderous posturing out of the way before they grew up enough for it to be a problem, he muses. Still. Better late than never.
He takes a sip of his own tea and grabs a biscuit. Lord knows he won't get a look in once Morpheus has finished trying to jam his elbow into Desire's stomach and realises they're there.
“It was never against the Old Laws for you to be a bastard, which is lucky because you always were one!” Desire gasps, writhing away from Morpheus’ pointy limbs. Hob's been at the receiving end of those elbows before, and even when Morpheus is being gentle, they're decently sharp. He wonders idly if either of them'll tire of this before their tea goes cold, and decides not to intervene either way. Serve them both right if they have to drink cold tea.
“You tried to kill me!”
“Don't tell me you're still hung up on that?”
“I am, because you tried to kill me!”
“Well it's not like it worked!”
Not really the point, Hob reckons, but then again he's had plenty of mates that have tried to kill him. 
“More by good fortune than good judgment,” Morpheus hisses.
“Oh, so you admit to your poor judgment?”
Hob snorts, and the wounded look Morpheus swings towards him would fell a lesser man. Hob takes another biscuit.
“Ha!” Desire takes advantage of his momentary distraction to lock their arms around his shoulders and blow a loud raspberry against his cheek. Hob doesn’t think he's entirely successful in hiding his smile. Morpheus doesn't even try to hide his look of disgust. 
Well, he had to learn the downsides of being an older brother at some point, Hob supposes. 
Judging that the worst of the scrapping is over, he perches on the edge of the bed and pats Morpheus’ flank idly. Desire, loose-limbed with alcohol and triumph, flops over him to reach for their tea. Morpheus magnanimously doesn't jab his fingers into their exposed side.
“Thank you, Robert darling,” Desire says, eyes half-lidded as they drink. It comes out far less coquettish than Hob imagines they intended; too genuinely content. Morpheus sighs, and frowns, and doesn't quite do a good enough job of hiding his own ease as he sits up and leans against Hob. 
“I suppose you intend to stay the night?” Morpheus asks. There's nothing of the dignified dreamlord about him now, with his hair flattened on one side and just a little lank, and pillow creases on his cheek. He peers at Desire, half of his weight still supported by Hob, who takes another slurp of tea and polishes off the last of his biscuit. It's still unbelievable, sometimes, that he may see his dour and distant old stranger like this. Something tangible, something grounded, something he can hold. Unbelievable, too, after the way they had almost parted, after the way Morpheus had almost –
Well. Doesn't bear thinking about, really.
“Mm, yes, if you'll have me.” Do they have to work to make everything they say sound like a double entendre,  Hob wonders, or does it come naturally? He's not entirely sure they even notice they're doing it. 
“You're always welcome,” Hob says. “Guest room's all made up, and there's a spare toothbrush under the sink you can have.”
“How very kind. Dream, dear, isn't your man kind?”
“Unreasonably so.”
“Ta, love,” Hob says, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. Desire rolls their eyes theatrically, as though that might mask how their expression softens. “Now drink your tea, I'd like to get a few more hours’ sleep before I need to get up.”
Morpheus grumbles but straightens up, plucking his mug from the nightstand and cradling it in one hand while he reaches for a biscuit with the other. 
“Should we expect any of our other siblings to join us tonight?” He asks, managing somehow not to spray crumbs everywhere as he does so, which is a bit unfair. Hob has centuries more experience talking through mouthfuls of crumbly biscuits, and he still can't do as good a job of it. “I take it you did not venture out alone this night.”
“No I didn't, but don't worry,” Desire says, tilting their head back as they drain their mug, a neat ring of purple left behind on the ceramic. “My sweet twin is unlikely to make an appearance. I certainly hope, at least – she went home with that little exorcist friend of yours. If she comes here, then something’s gone dreadfully wrong.”
They grin, cat with the cream pleased at the expression on Morpheus’ face, and flick their hand in something like a wave. “Well, goodnight brother! Robert.”
They flounce away towards the spare room, and Hob presses his smile into the curve of Morpheus’ shoulder.
“I hate them,” Morpheus grumbles. Hob kisses the bony jut of skin where his t-shirt has slipped, once, twice.
“No you don't,” he says. Morpheus sighs, sets his mug down, and returns to hold Hob's face still for a proper kiss. Not that Hob would try to get out of it. 
“No,” he agrees softly, pulling Hob down with him for a cuddle onto pillows that still smell a little of peaches. “No. I do not.”
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caitlynmeow · 2 months
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As her children got older, Cassandra understood what her mother said in the past when she complained about them being always up in her things.
One evening, she was up in her room getting ready to go out on a date with her wife. She was applying her make up, and two year old Aurelia was playing with her make up next to her.
All of a sudden, the two year old, with a makeup brush in her hand looked at her mother, and tried to shove her away from the mirror
“My turn,” She declared, deciding that Cassandra has had enough time at the mirror and it’s her turn now.
It’s a wall mirror, so Cassandra told the nosy toddler that she can have the lower part and she uses the upper part because it’s a wall mirror and can accommodate all sizes.
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br1ghtestlight · 4 months
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the weird thing is realizing I have already felt the worst I'm ever gonna feel in my entire life. like not saying that traumatic or horrible things won't happen to me but over the past few days I'm realizing that its STILL not as bad as the trauma i went though as a kid and teenager. its still easier to cope. because the thing is that I have already been through so much terrible stuff AND I was in a long-term psychologically damaging situation that it's just like. its so much easier just having access to food and hot water and a clean house and santitary bathroom and kitchen etc
like that makes everything SO MUCH easier everything else aside and the independance knowing that you care take care of yourself and it isn't hopeless. there's a level of trauma where once u come back from that there isn't anything worse that can happen to you bcuz you will NEVER again be in that situation ever again. like there's a lot of horrific things that could happen but That specific trauma is never going to happen to me again. if I can survive that then everything else is just easy
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delta-piscium · 8 months
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the actual spookiness of the seasonal url changes is being so lost and confused about who all these people are, desperately checking blogs and trying to piece it all together, and then when i finally get used to the new ones in two months they’ll change back
anyways, love the new urls whoever you all are <3
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drewsaturday · 5 days
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get to see my bby cousins next week <3
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izzystizzys · 12 days
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the usual izzy gets surprised by not having had menopause yet and a baby trope but adding in a twist: it happens pre-canon and by the time he gets unceremoniously dumped off the ship, he’s known for at least a month
just. increasingly tense izzy, who not only has to deal with not being able to keep anything in his body and worse nausea than he had even in his first week on a ship, but also can’t sleep marinating in the familiar coldness between him and ed that suddenly grates all over again. who’s forced to contend with the idea that something might finally force them out of this stalemate, and he doesn’t know if he wants that really or what outcome scares him the most, and it makes him pissier than a rabid cat soaking wet most days
and then it happens anyways, in an entirely different way that didn’t even require izzy to voice all of his fears and lay bare their problems, because stede fucking bonnet did that with his mere presence. no need to admit to his fear of being abandoned now, is there, is all he can think bitterly over a mug of fucking water of all things in jackie’z.
#ofmd fic idea#edizzy#kind of#my steddyhands loving brain wants it to end up there but idk how#in my angstridden mind this can go several ways#obvs he still sees jack and obvs the prick knows immediately#now: does jack run off and tattle or stay and help?#either way in my mind izzy has lost all will to fight his way back to ed’s side via navy fuckeries in this#discovering he has other priorities than ed now is a shock to him more than anyone#anyways option one jack still makes it onto the revenge drunkenly ripping ed a new one in the most incomprehensibly strange way#halfway through he’s like oops you’re not supposed to know that izzy’s pregnant!#ed: izzy’s pregnant????#jack (sweating): i didn’t say that#which brings on a merry goose chase because izzy is a wanted man in his own right#and also not in the mood to talk to anyone#option two: jack does NOT scurry off to the revenge#i envisage ed still going ham in this bcs one he discovers functioning without izzy’s shit and two there were issues there brewing already#years later the crew (slowly but steadily piecing itself together) raids a ship and finds a screaming five-year-old in its brig#completely impossible to miss that she is an exact carbon copy of ed from the hair down to the scowl and eyes and-#well it’s very unsettling is all#as are the promises that if they don’t help her her papa will disembowel them all#‘a toddler should not know that word!!!’ lucius insists#meanwhile izzy going insane having temporarily commandeered jack’s current ship in search of his beloved daughter#comedy of errors type thing where the revenge crew are forced to become temporary babysitters to the absolute hellion raised by izzy hands#truly only he could create such horrors (affectionate)
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daisies-on-a-cup · 2 months
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you guys won’t believe how sleepy i can get. the old man on the moon has nothing on me.
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calamitys-child · 1 year
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Oh. Life just keeps fucking happening at the worst possible times huh.
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the-doggy-diaries · 4 months
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hello everyone i am moving back in with my parents after living away from them for nine months ... they are absolutely insane to me i have already had really shitty stuff happen and we have not even picked up my stuff from my house ... but at least i will be living rent free and i will be able to save up and try again
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f1uckinghell · 9 months
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.
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kraviolis · 1 year
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as i get older and continue to exist online i cant help but question why so many adults got into arguments with me over fandom bullshit when i was a teenager, and yet i also completely understand why they did.
#teenagers are so dumb godbless. and i dont mean intellectually. they can be pretty smart but all of them have -20 wisdom#i had to delete tiktok to prevent myself from continuing to argue with 14 year olds in the comments#bcus as an adult i really shouldnt but theyre so. GAH#here's the argument that was the final straw for me:#child: *the wildest and stupidest interpretation of a fictional media ive ever seen*#me: actually *explains the actual story and intention of the creator*#child: where does it say that#me: it doesnt say it explicitly but if you just look at the subtext and use media literacy its incredibly obvious#child: What Episode Does It Say That#it was that point i checked their profile and saw that theyre 14 and immediately deleted the app#how can i in good faith gonna argue about subtext with someone who probably hasnt even read of mice and men. or fucking romeo and juliet#im not gonna let myself stoop so low. im fucking 21 years old#but oh my god. the way that they talk down at you as if they arent currently in a developmental stage thats basically the sequel to toddler#infuriating.#and i was just as bad as a teenager i know for a fact i was because i was deep in the tumblr discourse trenches as a 14 y/o#i made the worst decisions as a 14 y/o#and i cant even just sit back and try to explain to a teen why i cant take them seriously bcus theyre just gonna get mad#and i cant even blame them bcus its not their fault!!! theyre literally just going through their terrible twos again!!!#oh my god. im so sorry to all the people who had to deal with me when i was a teenager#krav talks
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I was having the shittiest day and then Fluffy hung upside down and started swatting at me to play. Nothing helps you feel better like a cat, I swear.
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nasty-boi-dread · 1 year
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Terfs and haters are wrong. I am definitely 100% a man, it's just taking me a bit longer to get there.
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exex-lovers · 1 year
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Y'all should get married
That's much easier said than done, unfortunately.
-Marvin
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