#also I had to make that shitty white wig look good or else I would’ve literally exploded <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[citricacidprince]

Webby is so Deep in the Dark from Charlotte’s Web coded <3

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts-- 5x07: And the fight had a detente...

This episode is a wild ride, so if you haven’t seen it yet and you aren’t spoiled, don’t read this. Just go watch it.  

Ave Maria plays over a photo montage of cancelled men, including Kevin Spacey, Louie CK, and Scott Rudin. (Scott Rudin, if you don’t know the name, is a Broadway/Hollywood producer who treated his assistants like absolute shit. He’s the inspiration for the possessed producer episode of Evil—I think it’s the third episode of the series—and Robert King does not like him one bit.)  

And then the episode opens with Wackner, Del, and Cord discussing the Armie Hammer cannibalism ordeal. Whew, this is not what I wanted to be thinking about first thing on a Thursday morning. I do not think I can put into words how boring I find debating whether or not someone should have been “cancelled.”  Cancellation is usually about rich people facing consequences for shitty actions, and those consequences have never involved anyone’s rights being infringed upon, so why should I care about someone being cancelled? And, while I know that society/people on Twitter don’t always understand nuance, I’d like to think that when it comes to the most notable examples of cancellation... no one is losing their livelihood over false or minor allegations.  

There are so, so, so many issues in the world. Cancellation affects a handful of high profile, usually white, straight, male, celebrities. Why should I give a shit about, like, Louie CK not being able to make as much money as he used to? I just do not and cannot find it interesting.

I’m not surprised David Cord and Del Cooper find this topic interesting—Del likely hates worrying that all of his comedians could get cancelled and put him in a financially tricky spot; Cord probably says things like “Woke Mob” unironically. And as for Wackner, he almost certainly has a skewed understanding of what actually happens when someone’s cancelled and sees a place where he can step in and add some order. Blah. It’s just so boring.

"People are getting canceled without a trial, no evidence presented against them,” Wackner says. This is not it, Wackner! This is such a strawman argument. We don’t need the legal system to adjudicate people being assholes to each other, and in cases where a crime is committed or a particular individual can sue for damages, that is what happens. If you act shitty and then your sponsors realize you’re toxic and drop you, like, it is what it is. You can feel free to respond via a Notes App screenshot where half of your apology is actually just whining about cancel culture and then you say “I’m sorry if anyone took offense at what I did” instead of saying “I’m sorry I said/did hurtful things” and when people don’t take that seriously, maybe it’s because you didn’t take it seriously, either.  

“There are a lot of reasons these accusations never go to trial. The victims finally get to accuse the victimizer face to face,” Wackner explains. Were the victims asking for this?

Marissa shares my question, noting that if the victims don’t want to speak up, then the victimizer would have the court to himself. This raises a new question: who is even bringing these cases? Are Wackner, Cord, and Del just deciding they want to do things as cases and then getting everyone else on board? This sounds bad!  

Apparently, according to Wackner, “if #MeToo relies on mob rule, it’ll exhaust itself.” What... evidence is there for this? I get why people panic about the POSSIBILITY of this happening, even though I don’t share their panic, but is there any actual evidence that #MeToo is losing steam because of false allegations because cancellation isn’t a formal process? I don’t believe there is.  

The test case we have the pleasure of seeing this week is about “Louie CK two,” whom I shall refer to as LCK2 instead of learning his name.  

Now, suddenly, Marissa is asking one of LCK2’s victims to testify. She doesn’t want to participate because it’s just another way for LCK2 to get his career back. Marissa decides to be idealistic and say this is a real opportunity to confront LCK2 with his crime. I suppose she isn’t wrong, and that is what happens next, but, again, meh.

Apparently David Cord is going to defend LCK2. You know what would get cancelled in five seconds? A David Cord funded show that has David Cord actually on it, railing against cancel culture! Can you IMAGINE the thinkpieces?

God, when is this episode going to move on from this extremely irritating premise?

Marissa decides she wants to be the prosecutor. Wackner says if she prosecutes LCK2, she has to prosecute the academic who used a word that sounds like the n-word and lost her job for it.  Marissa thinks the academic shouldn’t have been fired, but Wackner insists she has to take both cases.

“Let’s go into court,” Wackner says, and, thank goodness, we do go into court: REAL court, where we are talking about REAL issues.  

In court, Liz and Diane are suing the police over the death of a black girl who was tased by the police. Her friend is on the stand and it’s quite emotional. Also, Diane tries to pass Liz a note and Liz ignores it. Why would you have two name partners on this case if they aren’t even going to try to work together?  

You can tell things are tense between two TGF characters when they talk at the same time in court but are on the same side.  

Hiiiiii Abernathy! ILY!

The victim had a heart condition, which the police lawyer argues is the actual cause of death. Police lawyer also argues that since this witness posted some ACAB lyrics on Instagram, she must be biased. Eyeroll.

Liz calls the other lawyer racist; the other lawyer tries to make Liz look like she is only on her client’s side because she’s black and that Liz is being absurd.  

Cancel culture court happens. We’re dealing with the academic case first. I don’t feel like talking about the cancel culture shit too much, so here is my take on this case as a whole: (1) I don’t think the actual word in question, which isn’t actually the n-word, is enough on its own to get someone fired (2) I also don’t think anyone can use that word, regardless of its meaning or history, without understanding how it will come across. (3) The teacher did not get fired for simply using this word once (4) This teacher believes that anyone who is from a group that’s been marginalized in history should have to confront that marginalization with as little sympathy and respect as possible because it will help them be more resilient. So basically, if you are from the dominant group then you don’t get challenged. She believes it is her job to do this. She is an egotistical asshole who has no business teaching.  

Cord wants everyone to have to say the full word in question. He says this pretentiously (though I don’t think saying “Said word” is that pretentious, tbh) and Wackner rules against him and also makes him wear a powdered wig for using “obtuse language.”

Marissa is not trying at all with this case at first, since she doesn’t believe in it. That’s shitty, Marissa. If you want to be a lawyer at a firm like RL you’re going to have to fight for all of your clients.  

Marissa makes a Latin joke and ends up in a powdered wig, too.  

The prof says, in one sentence, that she didn’t know what she was doing using the word and also that the black student who took offense thinks college is supposed to be warm, cuddly, and unchallenging. So it was a challenge, then, prof?  

I like this student. And I love that she calls Marissa out for obviously not trying.  

“The optics matter. Racially,” Diane says to Liz, who agrees. Diane, strategically, makes it about gender first (the cop is male, some jurors may react to a woman questioning a man), then makes it about how she should be the one questioning the cop since Liz is black. It would make the jury more “comfortable” (hey, there’s that word again!) Diane says. She says she is being pragmatic.  

Diane says that she could be “more dispassionate”. Be or come across as, Diane? Either way, Liz, who knows full well what the optics look like given that this isn’t her first time in court, doesn’t agree with Diane that they need to come across as dispassionate.  

Then Diane just changes the subject to the firm drama. “Liz, you’re shoving me out of my name partner position because of my race.” Like that’s the issue!  

“I am doing nothing. You are the one who got our racist clients to whine to STR Laurie about us,” Liz counters. “Those clients bring in a great deal of money, and they are not racists,” Diane insists. Yes. Sure. Diane just happened to choose white male clients who were “comfortable” with her to talk to. I have no doubt they’d have reacted poorly to any change in representation, but Diane was counting on those particular clients having some discomfort with their new lawyers.  

Liz calls her out and Diane’s still trying to play it like she just had to inform her long-term clients and it just had to be done this way. But, when Liz asks if Diane thinks the clients would’ve had the same reaction if their new representation were to be white, Diane says that maybe her clients are worried about racial grudges. So, what you’re saying is you knew exactly what you were doing, huh, Diane?  

I get why Diane doesn’t like being pushed out, because who would, but Diane, this isn’t about you. And if you didn’t want to make it about race, perhaps you shouldn’t have appeared on a panel about how great it is that your firm is majority black? You can’t have it both ways.  

Liz notes that Diane felt “entitled” to her name partnership. This is accurate, though based on revenue and stature I don’t think it can be denied that Diane deserves name partner status (generally speaking). Diane went over to RBK, was like, “sure, I’ll be a junior partner, thank you so much for the opportunity, I can’t even pay my capital contribution right now but what if I were name partner in three months?” and that is both entitlement and knowing one’s own worth, but mostly entitlement.  

(Liz does not act entitled, but if we want to get into who deserves their partnership more—again generally speaking, not their partnership at a black firm specifically—it is definitely Diane! Liz literally only has this job because her dad was important.)  

“I think that Barbara Kolstad was shoved out because you felt entitled to her position,” Liz shouts. OMG, a mention of Barbara?!?!?!??!?!? THANK YOU, WRITERS!!!

(This is a slight bit of revisionist history but I’ll allow it, and I think it’s right in thought even if it’s not right on the details. Barbara wasn’t shoved out—Barbara chose to go to a different firm that offered her a better deal—but I don’t think Barbara would’ve been on that trajectory had it not been for Diane’s presence at the firm. Barbara was in charge of a firm that shared her values when, suddenly, her partner decided that they needed to pursue profit over all else and needed Diane to execute that strategy. Maybe no one made a move directly against her, but Adrian and Diane changed the mission of RBK until it was no longer somewhere Barbara wanted to work.

“We can’t work together if you don’t respect me,” Diane screams at Liz. “No, we can’t work together if you use race cynically,” Liz responds. Diane gets even angrier, swears a bunch, and then says “You want to come after me, you come after me with an honest argument about my lack of competence, my lack of worth.” Diane, you are fighting a completely different battle here! You can be entitled and also correct and also good at your job. This is what you used to accuse Alicia of all the time. The fact you’ve turned this into something about your skill level when it’s about the meaning of having a black firm is only proving Liz’s point.

“Your unworthiness—which you don’t seem to want to acknowledge—is that you can’t be the top dog in a black firm,” Liz says. Exactly. But Diane just storms off.

Now the cop is on the stand. He did not know the victim had a heart condition. Uh, obviously, why would he have known that?  

Liz is aggressive in court; Diane thinks this is the wrong strategy. Without knowing who is on the jury, I have no idea which one of them is correct.  

The next move is to get the cop’s ex-wife, who he abused, on the stand.  

Goodie, it’s cancel culture court. Things go well for Marissa, but Del wants to know why Marissa wasn’t that passionate about the n-word case. Marissa says she feels like it’s not the n-word, like that is a valid reason to not represent your client to the best of your ability. “It is. It always is,” says Del.  

Marissa heads back to RL, and as she walks, the camera follows her and moves through the space until we end up in Liz’s office, where she gets a news alert about the cop from the COTW. He’s been killed, seemingly in retaliation for his actions. The news is quick to suggest the trial might’ve encouraged the killing. “Oh, fuck.” Diane says as she watches the news. Aaaand credits (at 20 minutes in!)  

From the promos, I thought this was going to be a Very Serious Episode about police brutality. From the opening, I thought it was going to be an insufferable episode about cancel culture. I was wrong! (Though, I suppose, some of the cancel culture stuff is still insufferable.)  

Yay for Carrie Preston, who directed this episode. I read an interview with her and she talked about how there’s a “look book” for directing TGF episodes and I have never wanted to see anything as badly as I want to see this look book. (Am I exaggerating? Probably. But I might not be.)  

After credits, Marissa finds Carmen and Jay to ask them if “n-word-ly" is offensive. She acknowledges she’s being annoying but they let her continue anyway. Jay finds it offensive. Carmen does not. This seems fitting with their characters, and I love that this scene acknowledges that not every black person is going to have the exact same reaction to everything.  

I want Carmen to have more to do! While I’m glad the show isn’t forcing her to have a large role in every plot just because, I feel like she’s gone missing for the middle part of the season. My guess is that their priority with Carmen is setting her up to be an ongoing part of the cast who grows into being someone we want a lot from rather than forcing her plots from the start... but surely we could get a little more of her! I doubt she’s a one-season character like I assume Wackner will be.  

The cop’s murder changes the vibe in court. Abernathy calls a moment of silence in his memory. “We’re fucked,” Liz whispers to Diane.  

And indeed they are. The cop’s ex no longer wants to talk about how abusive he was—she wants to talk about how great he was. Whose idea was it to still put her on the stand?! Idk about legal procedures but this seems like a really avoidable mistake!

Diane argues that the cop’s death has prejudiced the jury. Abernathy decides to call a “voir dire de novo,” using an obtuse Latin phrase that would not be permitted in Wackner’s court. (Love the little parallels in this episode, like this, the transition between courts earlier, and how much of Marissa being called out on her whiteness feels like a thematic extension of everything going on with Diane.)

Cancel culture court continues. Carmen shows up.

I don’t really get how June, the victim of LCK2, potentially losing a headlining gig for a bad set instead of retaliation from LCK2, scores him a point. One, if she was a rising store, one bad set shouldn’t have damned her career. Two, isn’t it enough to prove that he masturbated in front of women who didn’t want him to do that???????  

Having June perform her act with no prep in Wackner’s court so they can judge whether or not she is funny is a wildly bad idea. So now Wackner is an arbiter of humor as well as cancel culture?  

This whole system is silly and I reject the whole premise but June should not lose two points for the logic that Wackner + the audience don’t find June funny --> June must’ve had her career derailed because she just isn’t funny (how’d she book the headliner gig, then?) --> LCK2 scores points??? He still masturbated in front of her without her consent!  

Using cancel culture to show Wackner’s court is going too far/slipping into bad territory: I’m on board with this. Using Wackner’s court to actually comment on cancel culture: Ugh. The writers seem to be trying to do both.  

Lol at Abernathy having Stacey Abrams’ book on his desk.

Marissa argues the n-word case more passionately, because these writers love to make situations that seemed clear cut seem more uncertain. It’s no coincidence they have the sexual harassment case look murkier (though, again, June being bad at comedy does not negate the sexual harassment!) right before they have the n-work case begin to tilt in favor of the professor’s cancellation.

Hahah what bullshit about trying to prepare the students for a world that won’t be kind to them. Do you seriously think your black students need YOU to prepare them?  

This lady thinks history classes have to describe rapes in detail to get students to sympathize. No, no they fucking do not.  

She also says she’d use the n-word if she were teaching a topic where it might come up. Um, no?

Mr. Elk (this is what I call Ted Willoughby, Idiot Reporter, after he said “things of that elk” in his first appearance) is attacking Diane and Liz on his show. Diane and Liz are, apparently, “Marxist slip-and-fall lawyers” and Mr. Elk plays a clip of Diane saying cops need to be held accountable. Obviously, this was before the cop’s death and meant to be about the legal system, but it looks like Diane’s calling for his murder. I also love how they go out of their way to only pause the clip on unflattering frames of Diane.  

Liz wants to use this in court—I forgot that Liz is super sneaky but this tracks; she is always quick to use things to her advantage and we’ve known that about her since her strategy with the DNC in 2x07 (to make outlandish allegations and then drop them before presenting proof). Julius wants to get Liz and Diane security.

That security is, apparently Jay. I think they’ve shown Jay as security before when Lucca went viral. I didn’t understand it then and I don’t understand it now.

I was, briefly, worried for Liz and Diane’s safety, especially after I saw all the angry cops waiting for them in court. Then I thought, oh, well at least they’re in court, they should be safe from being shot there. Then I remembered 5x15. Then I laughed at myself.  

Liz’s new strategy works and Abernathy uses more Latin. But, they can’t get any more jurors thrown. (They’re going for a mistrial.)

Oh, Carmen is back again! She did SO MUCH in that court scene where she appeared and then disappeared! She’s chatting with Marissa and spots LCK2 in the RL offices.  

Apparently, LCK2 negotiated a contract with Del, with David Lee’s help. (Why would David Lee be doing entertainment law?) Suddenly everything makes sense to Marissa.

She calls Del to the stand. This—and, honestly, everything after this—makes me wonder how much of this would ever make it to air. Why would Del televise this?

What a shock—Del wants LCK2 back on his streaming service (which I don’t think has a name LOL).  

Somehow Marissa’s questions become about Wackner and whether or not Wackner is an impartial judge, which doesn’t seem like the core issue. Wackner has made it pretty clear that his stance is that he doesn’t care if others are corrupt around him or try to use him; he’s going to be impartial no matter what. Why not play that up instead of making the entire show look staged and Wackner look complicit, Marissa?  

Like, why is Marissa asking Wackner if he’s prejudged the case?! Why isn’t she just trying to like, get him to declare a mistrial because there is a conflict of interest? She can make a version of this argument without accusing Wackner of PREJUDGING, which she knows—I know, so she knows—will set him off. Wackner truly believe he thinks he is impartial. It’s not smart strategy to question that (even if we all know that Wackner is not impartial!)

Wackner blows up at Marissa and shouts at her. He tells her to get the fuck out of court.

This is certainly dramatic, but again, would Del ever choose to air this? I doubt it.  

On her way to work, Diane notices hot pink spray paint in the elevator. When she exits the elevator, the whole firm is gathered in the lobby. Someone has painted COP KILLERS across the elevator bank. “Security doesn’t know how they got in,” Jay says. “Of course they don’t,” Diane responds. “They suggest we call the cops,” Jay says. I love this little exchange. I wasn’t exactly wondering how someone got in, but I like the show making it clear how unprotected Diane and Liz are right now and why.

Julius appears and says that Mr. Elk is saying something new. Diane and Liz sit down to watch and the tone of this episode completely shifts.  

I had forgotten completely that Liz’s dad’s assault issues are out in public until Mr. Elk called him “a disgraced civil rights leader.” It doesn’t feel like they’re out in public! Also I would believe Mr. Elk calling him disgraced for no reason at all.  

Y’all, when Mr. Elk said the name “Duke Roscoe,” my jaw dropped. WHAT A CALLBACK.  

This scene, and really, everything in this plot from here on out, is a delight. It just keeps going and going. It is the best kind of fanservice.

1x11 has been, for no real reason, on my mind since 5x04. It popped out to me as an example of this show’s humor so I talked about it in that recap. I nearly mentioned it in my 5x06 recap when Diane laughed at Julius’s suggestion that they start a firm together. I rewatched 1x11, by complete chance, like two weeks ago. How weird that I'm somehow on the show’s wavelength about this!  

Also I made a joke about Mr. Elk last week without knowing he’d be back this episode. I would like to think I conjured this.  

(1x11 is a really pivotal episode for TGW, even if it isn’t one of the most notable episodes overall. It's composer David Buckley’s first episode and that ending, with Diane laughing, is one of the earliest moments of TGW showing its sense of humor and playing to its strengths.)

Mr. Elk notes that they “rarely see” Kurt, which is apparently evidence that Diane is a lesbian. Hahahahahahah. Mr. Elk also wouldn’t want to note Kurt, despite his recent controversy, because to his viewers, Kurt’s beliefs would make Diane seem more sympathetic.  

GUYS, THE WRITERS DECIDED TO MAKE A CALLBACK TO AN ICONIC MOMENT FROM AN EPISODE THAT AIRED OVER A DECADE AGO AND THEN BUILD ON IT. I cannot express how fucking happy this makes me.  

Now, Mr. Elk says, Diane and Liz are an item!  

What’s better than Diane laughing hysterically at the original allegations? Diane doing it again, eleven years later, JOINED BY LIZ.  

This also works super well to cut the tension between Diane and Liz. I assume this isn’t the end of the name partnership drama, but I think it might be the end of Diane and Liz being pissed at each other. Since the name partnership drama was never really about Diane and Liz (Liz seems to want Diane to stay on...), I’m fine with that.  

Because this is an episode full of callbacks that delight me, Del asks Liz when he gets to meet her son! HER SON STILL EXISTS!  

It sounds like Liz and Del still aren’t fully official, which clarifies why they don’t seem to be a couple in public.  

Del brings up the Diane rumor (jokingly) and Liz jokes along. I love that we get to see this playful side of Liz.  

Wackner’s watching his outburst with regret. Del calms him down and notes that this is good TV (why... would Del air this... it makes DEL look worse than anyone!). Wackner calls Marissa to apologize; she picks up and accepts his apology.  

Abernathy calls Liz and Diane into chambers. He’s worried he was “insensitive”-- he's noticed the tension between Liz and Diane, but now he thinks it was a lover’s spat.

Diane puts on a poker face and leans in towards Liz. She starts nodding attentively and thanks Abernathy. Liz smiles and doubles down: she’s not just going to play along, she’s going to milk it. She gets a juror kicked for homophobia, which means a mistrial. Shameless. I love it.  

Diane and Liz playing off each other as Abernathy tries to look like as much of an ally as possible is comedy gold.  

Diane even calls Liz darling. Omg.  

LCK2 is on the stand, being charismatic and annoying. Of course he is. This is what happens when you give someone who is known for being able to connect with a crowd... a crowd and the benefit of the doubt.

LCK2 is talking about “stupid women” in his new set. Why... is Del giving that a platform at all? See, the fact that Del thinks it is not only interesting but also somehow essential to let LCK2 make jokes about sexual harassment is why I can’t take this episode seriously. Why should I be more outraged about someone who did something shitty not getting a trial for his shitty but legal behavior than I am about powerful people continuing to offer shitty people platforms? Only one of these seems outrageous to me.

Wackner decides that the professor did something “awful but lawful” and that’s it. So you’re saying that if it isn’t illegal, it doesn’t get decided in your court, either? What was the point of this, then?  

The professor says she doesn’t want that—she wants the school to know she’s being punished so she can get her job back. The student storms out, rightfully. Wackner’s job isn’t to offer someone who wants punishment some form of penance, like she can exchange community service hours for offensive remarks. It’s to... well, idk what it is to do, since this whole thing doesn’t really make sense and he makes the rules, but I don’t think his verdict has to be about giving anyone what they want. I’m disappointed that Wackner comes up with a punishment and I don’t think it’s going to get her her job back.  

LCK2 loses, too, because he hasn’t made amends. Wackner doesn’t want to fine him because he’s too rich for a fine to matter. Cord argues that LCK2 deserves a second chance. I mean, sure, but is he being denied a second chance? He doesn’t deserve an easy path back to his fame just because he wants it.  

Wackner mentions prison. At first I was like, oh, that’s a nice throwaway line that he mentioned prison! This ties into what I was saying a few weeks ago about how Wackner likes the institutions that already exist—he just thinks they’re imperfect! It’s fitting that he’s not a prison abolitionist!  

And then the episode actually went there: Wackner, thanks to David Cord’s private prison company, actually sentences LCK2 to prison. This is deeply uncomfortable (and of questionable legality). Wackner’s system is just going to recreate prison? Worse, private prison? He’s creating an unchecked, privatized legal system?! This sounds bad! Kudos to the show for taking this to some place so dark—I knew Wackner’s system would start to show cracks, but I didn’t realize they’d go this far.  

And I’m not sure what the end game is with this! All I know is I’m not on board with Wackner sending people to prison (except as a plot—I am very on board with this plot) and neither is Marissa.

I do not think viewers of the reality show will like the prison twist or the fact that Cord is financing a court and prison! Can you imagine the scandal!

And what do the contracts look like that allow Wackner to sentence someone to prison? Can LCK2 leave any time he wants? If so, then how does the prison sentence help? If not, is that legal?  

Del wants it to be a 2 week sentence, not 3, because this means LCK2 will have to miss his taping in two weeks. I have many questions. (1) Is Wackner’s show airing live? If not, then why do they need to rush the taping of the special? They could push it quite easily. (2) Why can’t they push the taping? This guy is a huge deal and enough potential $$ that Del wants to rehabilitate his career... so why does the taping have to be on this particular day and time?  

Is there really an Exxon Mobile case, I wonder?  

I like that we spend a good amount of time watching Marissa’s reactions to this latest addition to Wackner’s court. Combined with the score, Marissa’s facial expression serves to underline that private prisons are not good here! This isn’t Wackner getting legitimate methods of enforcement... this is just opening a pandora’s box of highly questionable extrajudicial practices.  

I do love that this episode ends up here: it starts out like it’s going to be about cancel culture silliness and ends up being about the escalation of Wackner’s tactics.

Funny how both of the cancelled people end up being found guilty by Wackner, huh! Almost like they actually did something wrong and faced the consequences!  

Liz and Diane get called in to talk to Liz’s favorite department: HR. They’re asked to sign “love contracts” to confirm things are consensual. I find it hilarious that HR gives them the paper before even asking if it’s true.  

Liz grabs a pen and signs. Diane follows her lead. They look at each other and smile politely at HR.

I am... not sure how to read this last scene! Is it a fuck-you to HR? A way of easing tensions? A way for Liz to get people to stop talking to her about removing Diane as name partner because no one will want to ask if they’re really involved? Something else? Help me understand!

Curious to see where things go next. I can see LCK2 coming back for another episode but it also wouldn’t surprise me to never see him again. Similarly, I could see some glances/discussion of Diane and Liz’s romantic relationship next week, or I could see it never being mentioned again, or I could see it being mentioned next season out of the blue.  

[ilovehatembj]

Man Up Part 3

Hey y’all! Sorry it took this long for this part! But I’m here, that counts right? I didn’t proofread cause I’m lazy. This one is short cause I just wanted to post something, also if you want to be untagged lmk, I tagged everyone from previous parts.

Pairing: OBJ x BLACK Reader

Warnings: Cussing, a SAD attempt at SMUT

*Saturday Morning*

You woke up to a text from Odell…….

“I have a car in LA so you don’t have to pick me up. I’ll be on my way to you as soon as I land”

That was was 2 ½ hours ago so you didn’t have much time till you’d be getting that “Otw” text, luckily you didn’t have much to do except for getting dressed. You opt to wear something simple, white crop top with gray biker shorts. You throw your hair up in a messy bun and wait for him to get to your place.

*45 Minutes later*

You get up and pause Netflix when you hear you’re buzzer. “Who is it?” “Excuse me Miss, I’m looking for a young lady with a big booty, average height,and nice smile and she might be wearing a wig, her hair is kinda hit or miss, did I mention the big booty?” “Maybe you should be looking somewhere else if all she has to offer is a big booty” you say into the speaker. “Did I mention she had sparkling brown eyes ?” “Really Odell?” You buzz him in and wait outside your door for him to get off the elevator and after a few minutes you see him walking towards you down the hallway. “You pack light for a weekend in LA” “Don’t judge, I’m a simple man” “A simple man with Gucci luggage and a Rolex, makes sense” You go in for a hug, but he goes in for a kiss and picks you up by the back of your knees in the process. He walks you two into your place still carrying you AND his bag, (why didn’t you snatch a strong nigga before?). You come up for air and ask “You want a tour first?” “Right after I take a tour of something else” “Word? Its like that?, he grinned “Word” And with that y’all right back into another decadent kiss breathing into his mouth the directions to your room.

Once he made it he threw you on the bed and he yanked your shorts off while you threw your shirt across the room. He dived straight for your clit. He started taking long and slow licks then he just started digging in like it was his last meal. “O-oh, fuck Odell, please do-don’t stop” “You like that baby” “Fuck yes, I’m about to c-cum” Once you felt your core tighten he put two fingers inside of you, him curving his fingers inside of you and the sound of your wetness brought you even closer. “Ooh fuck baby just like that” “Cum for me darling” and just like that you came undone, but you rode out your orgasm on his face and fingers, he licked every drop of you up. He made his way up to you beard glistening with your juices and you couldn’t help but grab him in for the deepest kiss you’ve ever given. He sat up and threw his shirt off and kicked his sweats and boxers off. “You ready?” “Yes” He slowly inched himself inside of you, giving you time to get adjusted to his, after he was all the way in he pulled out then he slammed himself back into you at full throttle speed. “Ohhh shit, fuck” “You feel so good babygirl, fuck”. He kept his steady tempo and speed while rolling his eyes to the back of his head. “Where you at babygirl?” “Shit! I-I’m close” “I’m ready when you are” your tightened yourself around him and his thrusts started getting sloppy. He brought his head down for a kiss and you released on his dick. “Shit baby I’m bout to cum, where you want it?” “In my throat” You pushed him off of you and positioned yourself in front of his dick and start spitting and licking on it. You put all of him in you mouth and started going up and down, turning your hands to him on a beat “Oh shit Y/N!” He grabs the back of your head and starts face fucking you and after his 5th thrust you feel his warm seed slide to the back of your throat. “Damn girl, you nice like that?” “You just seen it didn’t you?”. You both laugh and chit-chat for literally 2 minutes before you fall asleep. Odell just looks down at you smiling, “You don’t even know how special you are, unbelievable” he falls asleep right after you.

You wake up and see that its 7PM. You follow the sounds and smells coming from your kitchen. “I know this man is not burning up my kitchen”, you whisper to yourself, but you walk in on just the opposite. “Hey baby. I hope you don’t mind but I figured you’d be hungry and I didn’t know what you’d want so um… yeah, this the outcome” “Is that...baked salmon?!” “Yes ma’am, and asparagus and rice too. Here sit down” He pulled chair out for you and sat a plate in front of you. “Taste it. I hope you like it.” “Oh my goodness. Damn. This is really good. I’m impressed.” “I told you me impressing you didn’t stop at some damn flowers.” “You know Beckham. I don’t think you give yourself enough credit. At this point I’m beyond impressed. People who’ve known me for years couldn’t pulled this small gesture off.” “Maybe you’re giving me too much credit.” he picks up a piece of you food, “And maybe you need to start getting rid of some of those people in your life” “I already started” you say with a smirk on your face. You just so happen to glance at your coffee table in your living room and see flowers that you didn’t recognize. “I didn’t realize you brought flowers with you.” “I didn’t, I thought you already had those before I got here.” “Oh yeah, I forgot, they got delivered earlier this morning, I must’ve forgotten to put them in a vase”. But you knew those flowers weren’t there when Odell got there. You’d let it slide for the weekend, but you had an idea of how they got there.

The rest of the night was chill. Y’all ate, had each other for dessert, watched movies, and had each other for a late night snack, becoming more delicious everytime.

The two of you woke and made breakfast together, well he did most of the cooking, you helped though, he called you his “Boo chef”. Yes, he’s hella corny. After that y’all decided to grab lunch and come back and get ready for dinner with your friend Chanel and his teammate Sterling at Nobu.

Once you got to the restaurant you spotted Chanel and Sterling. You headed over there praying to Black Jesus that it wouldn’t be awkward after you had to decline Chanel’s invite to their wedding. Money calls. “Hey Y/N! I haven’t seen you since Coachella last year!” “I know! I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to the wedding! But I hope you guys liked my gift!” “Oh my God! Yes, yours was my favorite and I understand! Don’t sweat it, just make sure you’re at the baby shower!” “Uh, I hi to you too Chanel. I don’t know if you remember, but I was the best man at your wedding.” “Ugh, I hi Odell. So jealous” “Hey Y/N. And my condolences to you for dealing with this clown.” You all laughed and after the conversation flowed for awhile Chanel asked, “So how did you two get together? Odell how did you snag her? I prefer her much much more to your exes” Odell held his down laughing in shame, “Y’all don’t laugh, but I slid in her dm’s” “What?! You do realize you could’ve just asked me for her number”. “That would’ve helped after being left on read for a week” he said side eyeing you. “Listen, I get wild dm’s ALL the time. The verification check mark doesn’t mean you get a reply. I just so happened to stumble on yours and you weren’t being weird in the dm’s so here we are.” The whole table busted out laughing.

After dinner you and Odell headed back to your place because he had an early flight to catch back to NY.

It’s the morning and you woke up to Odell in the shower. You were highkey mad that he had to leave, this weekend was the first time in forever you’ve felt any kind of companionship. It was refreshing.

As Odell was walking towards your front door he stopped and turned around, “Listen, I know we haven’t been doing this for anytime at all really but two things. One, Are you free next weekend? If you are could you maybe think about coming to place? I don’t think I can take too much time away from you now. I’m hooked. Two, are you going to the BET awards this year? I feel like a kid asking you to the Blackest prom ever but I have an extra ticket.” Kissing him between sentences, “Yes. I. Can. Be in NY next weekend. Andddd. I’ll be. On the carpet interviewing people, so yes and no to that one. By the way that would’ve been a shitty promposal.”

*********

I didn’t realize Odell was nominated for a BET award until after I had the idea for them to show up together, but I’ve said too much already.

@melanisticroyalty @laketaj24 @royallyprincesslilly @theunsweetenedtruth @leahnicole1219 @eriksbabymama @sweettea-and-honeybutter @Ljstraightnochaser @amethyst1993 @daytimeheroicsonly @uhlxis @drsunshine97 @supernovaah @muse-of-mbaku @zuzuspanda @chefjessypooh @purple-apricots @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @cockyboysandsugarism @destinio1 @siriuslycollins @dreadedphilosphy @texasbama @blackmisfitsunite @cool-pen-name @madamslayyy @slimmiyagi @blackchickfics @omg-blackqueen @blue-ishx @maliadestiny @yourstrulyylauren @poeticallymindlesshippy

[dearsadgoat]

recovery

recently, there was a major fire in my city. a little before the fire happened, i went through probably the lowest point in my life i’ve been in thus far. it culminated into one night of forcing myself to break down a number of walls and fake fronts i put up around me. these stood for about 5 years.

during that 5 year period i lied to myself and tried to trick myself into thinking i was something else so i could fit in with my rapidly changing friend groups, both online and in real life. i started distancing myself from a number of things, including shows, interests, and friends. i pushed away mlp for fear that my friends who were now falling out of it would ditch me if i were still into it. i pushed away my desire to learn music because the relationship between my brother and i only got worse as high school went on. i pushed away old friend groups for reasons so stupid i dont remember anymore.

instead of doing videos for fun and my own enjoyment, i started making them with the intention of becoming popular. i was never good at those and i wasn’t willing to learn to make myself better because i only wanted the success. the worst part about this was the fact that i did it for so long i managed to make myself believe that this was what i wanted, to be making low effort gaming videos on youtube well past its peak. because that’s what I thought I was going to “make it” doing. it should be noted i pushed away a group of youtuber friends before this, who may have been able to talk sense into me.

to this day i have only met one other person who makes videos.

fast forward to a few months ago. back in june, i started a new job, the one im currently working, doing lifeguarding at a pool. in july, my friends and i did our annual trip to anime expo, and aside from some incidents it was fun. i went on vacation with my family to arizona, and we saw a number of beautiful sights. i enjoyed it a lot.

however, this is the end of the fun.

anime expo, as always, brought me the panic of being around so many people. it isn’t the volume of people however, im relatively comfortable in a crowd. its the idea that i can look around in any direction and see people probably way happier and in better places in life than i am. look one way, i see a group of attractive people in cosplay that’s way better than mine. look the other way, i see a group of friends all laughing and clearly have shared interests, unlike my friends where we all have kinda splintered tastes so we don’t spend all the time together at conventions.

i spent a good amount of the convention wandering it with my friend mike. we went as Haru and Rin from Free, him being Haru, me being Rin.

around that time i was having major self image issues. i gained a good amount of weight the months prior, and i couldn’t lose it no matter what i tried, and consistently going to the gym, doing workouts given to me by professionals showing me no change killed my motivation. i couldn’t get myself to even go anymore come june.

so when mike was stopped by 10+ people (i stopped counting after a while) for pictures and to compliment him on his cosplay, meanwhile outright ignoring me, i started feeling like my image issues weren’t just “in my head” like i’d been told. despite this i tried my best to ignore it and move on. except i couldn’t.

the other cosplay i did was a crossplay of Mako Mankanshoku from Kill la Kill. I actually had the right length/hair color for Mako’s hair, so I saved money on a wig and got it cut like hers. the hair actually looked fine in context of the cosplay, however the cosplay in the context of anything was atrocious.

i couldn’t fit into the seifuku i bought, despite being sure to buy a size much larger than what you’d expect. trying to ignore my brain telling me im a fat fuck i improvised with a white shirt and a light blue neckerchief. with the wrong color shoes, basic shirt, neckerchief, basic skirt, and my hair cut instead of a wig, i was the definition of awful cosplay.

i hyped up finally being able to crossdress in public to myself for months. i’ve wanted to crossdress publicly since i was 15. at no other convention in the past did i have the courage. i got rid of pretty much all body hair, and upon finally being able to do so, i thought it was everything i wanted.

looking in the mirror showed me i was nothing more than an ugly fatass trying to look cute. i was the fucking person people at conventions take candid photos of and post on tumblr to make fun of. im sure im gonna one day come across a picture of me in that “cosplay” accompanied with some text about how embarrassing i was.

so with now both my cosplays fun sucked out of them by myself, the rest of the convention went on, but i couldn’t fully suppress the idea that i was unhappy.

the arizona trip i’ll save for another post, it’s a complete offshoot with it’s own backstory.

these are nowhere near all of the events i feel caused enough problems for what happens later, just the major ones. also there’s no way i can write every single thing that’s happened to me and contributed to my sad demeanor over the last 21 years.

after that though, the rest of the summer is a blur, i dont remember anything i did, and i don’t remember starting school again. i just know i’ve been going for almost 16 weeks now.

for some reason, a lot of things that didn’t use to bug me have been bugging me. stuff that I thought i’d grown accustomed to seeing, like the ever poisonous anti-male rhetoric that this site likes to parade. i’ve been on tumblr since i was like 13, i’ve seen it, i should be used to it and know to ignore it, right?

i guess not. every post i see related to something meant to make me feel shitty for being a guy takes another chip at me throughout the day. despite my best efforts i can’t forget them.

i just don’t have the energy to put up with stuff anymore, and it really feels like im out of energy to put into caring about things. i’ve been feeling like this since the beginning of the above five year period of not knowing why i wasn’t happy with what i was supposed to be happy with.

eventually we get to one saturday at work. two pools are being used for an event, the third is being rented out for a kids birthday party. im on the tower supervising the party when my best friend kaylie comes to rotate me. we chat for a sec, and as i start to walk off, she says my name. i turn around and she points at the water. no more than 3 feet from where im standing, two kids are wrestling in the water. except they weren’t wrestling for fun, they were wrestling to get on top of one another and drowning each other in the process. mind you, this is the deepest part of the pool and it’s only like 4 1/2 feet deep. I slide in, hoist up both of them, and launch into the caring procedure bullshit.

i get them out, tell kaylie im going to get a towel, and eventually other guards start asking me what happened. all of the sudden people are toting me as being a hero for making my first rescue withing my first year. you’d think that’s something to be proud of, right?

yeah you’d think that.

i felt nothing. all i had was that i was doing my job, and if it were like ten seconds earlier kaylie would’ve got them. i didn’t do anything special.

of course that ended up as a conflict in my mind, and on the way home i bought alcohol and spent the night drinking alone.

fast forward a few more days, and i get home from work. it wasn’t a particularly hard day, or any major thing happened, just a lot of small little things that chipped away at my patience, a few comments made by coworkers that really weren’t asked for, and this and that ultimately led to me driving home at the end of the night upset.

i get home, and think to myself im going to unwind with some video games. i dont remember what happened or what i was playing, but some major thing happened that led to me calmly turning off the game and turning to my computer to stare at it for the next two hours, only occasionally clicking to something new.

nobody tells you what it’s like to break. partly because, they cant. the way i see it everyone breaks differently. every breakdown i’d had up until that point had been loud, angry, and full of jerky motions through teary, blurred eyes. they were like someone kicking over something i was making in one fell swoop.

this time it felt like i watched someone pick away at the foundation until it all started to slide down like sand.

i broke, at first without tears, questioning what i was doing at that moment, and what i was doing in general. nothing made sense. my head couldn’t keep a thought for a moment. i felt like my chest was caving in. i didnt end up eating anything that night. i honestly can’t describe how i felt and what i did, it was such a blur.

i started going on a nostalgia scavenger hunt. something i had seen recently drove me to want to search out the mlp meetup group i used to be a part of. i found pictures of me and my friends at different events back in 2011, 2012, and i started doing what i can only describe as motioning a whimper. as in, whatever you picture when you think of whimpering, only without sound.

I saw pictures of me being happy, truly happy. i hadn’t been truly happy in the last 5-6 years since these pictures were taken. at least not for more than the occasional time.

as if on queue, a friend from one group of friends i changed myself to fit in with messaged me. i asked him if he wanted to take a trip with me, and i spilled everything.

i confessed to being a liar, a poser, a shitty person who couldn’t even tell his friends that he wasn’t everything he said he was. i told him at one point in my life i had actual ambition and ways to achieve success outside of being the scummy piece of shit i’d become when i became friends with them. (please dont misunderstand, they’re good people, i just had a warped sense of what i needed to do to be their friend back then)

he let me angrily type and rant and have a major breakdown to him without interruption for almost an hour, and finally he paused me and started trying to talk me through this.

after he gave me his piece on the matter, i turned to another one of my best friends, jacob. jacob was one of the irl friends i went to meetups with, and we’ve been friends since middle school. we’re closer than anyone else i know i’d bet, even closer than kaylie and i.

because of time differences, our conversation lasted the next two days, basically telling him everything, that i wasn’t happy with myself, that i haven’t been happy with anything for a long time. the only thing that mattered to me in his response was that nothing was different between us. he said he was going to a therapist soon, and said that i should try it. i have not, and i dont plan to for fear of what i might find out. still, everything he said i took to heart and i thank him for it.

at this point, i decided that i could fix all of this, that i could make myself someone i’d like to be. i was going to work hard and no matter what i wasn’t going to break like that ever again. nothing was going to stop me, no matter the odds.

someone up there must love testing my patience.

a week later, the fire happened. within the span of an hour i had gone from coming home from a test, to helping my mom with the recycling, to rushing home because the sky over our house was brown. the next few hours was me running on no food, a sweaty, ash-covered mess, to get everything of importance out of the house. everything that was too hard to replace was taken. as painful as it was it meant leaving behind just about everything that had value to me, as i took only the things that mattered in a worldly view, not a personal view.

God listened to my prayers that day, and the fires burned half a mile from my house, but no closer. The trail i walked a thousand times growing up was no more. it’s about 4 houses down from mine, to give perspective. everything was black and soot, trees stood with burn marks and missing leaves. The creek was dried up. everything is a mess. i walked out and took pictures of it a few days after, just for memory sake.

that day was a test to see whether or not I was actually going to keep my word. i didn’t break that day, despite wanting to often, and i did what was most important for my family.

since then, i’ve shuffled around a lot of different aspects of my life. a lot of things are changing, and im not comfortable with a lot of them. however, these are good changes. i have to make myself uncomfortable to be able to find what i belong to once again.

and i hope and i pray that this is going to be the time i prove to myself i can break out of this

[theknowing-ff-blog]

Hell Date (Writing challenge 1)

“Shit, Tori get it together. Just act natural and all will go well.”

“Why are you so nervous? It’s only a date, girl.” Ashley said as she was standing in the mirror reapplying her lipstick. She was the only one ecstatic about this.

“I don’t like blind dates, Ashley.”

“You don’t like dates, Tori. You haven’t dated in a year. I’m surprised Samir was able to get you on one.” She’s right, but I try to avoid men as much as possible. With sweat trying to trickle down my forehead, my nerves got the best of me. Blind dates were freaking horrible. The problem was, I agreed to three of them and I don’t think I can make it to the end of this one.

A little background on this date, our best friend think he’s the love connection and decided he would set us up with us with his co-workers. Now here I am pacing back and forth in this bathroom, trying to calm myself down. What if the guy isn’t my type? What if he’s some psycho killer? Better yet, what if I’m not his type? So many things were running through my mind and I just wanted to run the hell up out of this restaurant. I glanced over in the mirror and realized that I wasn’t going to waste this look I had going on. I had a new curly wig, my makeup was popping and my black sequin chain dress was hugging my curves so nicely.

“Well, Tori, you didn’t get fine for nothing.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” I sighed deeply and fixed my dress before we headed back out there.

It had been fifteen minutes and our mystery men were already late. I was sitting at the bar and I was already on my second shot of this unsatisfying Jameson whiskey. I was becoming annoyed and wanted to leave right that second. I know this is not a marriage arrangement or anything, but I was so damn nervous. I’m not good with dates at all and I think it’s because I’m scared. It took everything in me to stay there and that’s when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and noticed it was Samir and some girl hey met a few weeks ago. Why must this date be a group date?

“Wassup Tori and Ashley. Y'all look decent.” He said chuckling.

“Hey, Samir.” I looked up at him and took another shot.

“Samir, you’re a hater. We look the fuck good, okay? what are you doing here?”

“Well we wanted to do the whole buddy system, just in case yall dates starts tripping.” He smirked, but I wasn’t in the mood for jokes. I just wanted this date to be over.

“Well, where are they Samir? Did they turn around and leave? That would fade all of my worries.” I said as I waved at the bartender to bring me another shot.

“Tori, can try to be interested in a date for once? You’re not marrying the guy, you’re here to have fun. Here they are now.” That’s when I saw them. One was tall, dark and just fine. The other one was fine too. He was a caramel complexion, tall as well and I don’t know which one it was, but I could smell Viktor & Rolf Spice Bomb Cologne as they made their way over to us.

As soon as they walked over, Samir and his date went to their table and left me and Ashley at the bar. I gulped down my shot and the first thing I noticed from the caramel one, was that his smile turned into a frown. I was confused because was that frown for me or Ashley? I should hope not considering I thought we both looked so fine tonight. Maybe I’m overthinking everything because I’m so damn nervous. Shit, I hope this date goes well.

“Are you Victoria?” The caramel one approached me. His sexy, deep voice had chills running up my spine.

“Yes, but you call me Tori. You’re Ricardo, right?”

“Yes and I rather call you Victoria.” He said it in a nonchalant manner. What the hell was up with that? Strike one.

“Oh okay, um our table is ready.” He rolled his eyes and that’s when I gave Ashley a cold stare as she and her date were all smiles and giggles. Little did she know this date was starting off wrong already. I’m just trying to figure what did I do wrong.

Sitting down, our waiter finally came over and asked us if wanted anything to drink. To be honest I wanted to leave. My date seemed so uninterested and it was just plain rude. I’m no fan of blind dates and I know I didn’t want to do this date either, but I’m trying. I swear if he says anything out of the way I’m leaving and throwing a glass of wine on him. I don’t have time for men and their shitty ass behaviors.

“So I hear you work with Samir. You guys are both into graphic designing, that seems so cool. How do you like it?”

“I mean it’s cool, as you put it. I always had a passion for graphic designing and illustration. Working on my own company as we speak. What do you do for a living? Post pics on Instagram?”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Are you one of those uneducated Instagram models? You just seem like the type. I can tell by your dress, Yeezy season 2 shoes and that hair.” What the hell? I was two seconds from slapping this guy with the menu. How dare he downplay “Instagram” models as he so put it? Strike two.

“Well, first off I’m a hairstylist. Second, I do make money from social media, but I’m no model. I also have a masters in engineering. So who’s uneducated here?” The look on his face was priceless. Ashley and her date both looked over at us and frowned.

“How long did it take you to come up with that?” He smirked and folded his arms together.

“Not that long. Cosmetology at Paul Mitchell didn’t take long. Then getting my degree from the University of Michigan didn’t take long either. Nice try, because you’re really trying it.”

“Look, I’m sorry. I just get tired of going on dates with women who have nothing going on. You give off the vibe that you’re only here for free food and that’s it. You give off the vibe that you don’t do anything but take selfies.”

“Well, you know what they say when you assume. You make an ass of yourself. Would you like it if I judged your ass off the rip? No, you wouldn’t.” His ass shut up then. He knew he was wrong. He had no reason to be that ignorant.

Our waiter came back, sitting our drinks down and that’s when I decided to order an appetizer. I was so close to ending this, but of course, I’m trying to appease Ashley and Samir. They both want me to date so bad, but the guy Samir set me up with is an asshole. I know Samir was trying to do a good deed, but I wish he would’ve have known this son of a bitch was rude.

“So, what made you go to school for hair and engineering?”

“Those are two things I have a passion for and of course I never want to rely on a man for everything. I need my own money, but I don’t have a problem with my man taking care of things.”

“This is why I date white women. They know how to sit back and let a man be a man. You come off aggressive and also demanding. I honestly don’t see what man would want to date you or any woman like you. Black women always want too much. Plus, you continued a back and forth session with me when all you had to do was be quiet. Typical black women shit.” He had a smug look and that’s when the waiter came right on time. I noticed Ashley cocked her head back and was appalled. I don’t know who this guy thought he was playing with, but he had the wrong one. How the hell did I come off aggressive when he started it? And where does he get off with these black women comments? Strike three.

As the waiter came back, he asked if were ready to order anything else and that’s when I told him no because we needed more time. That’s what had; time. I was about to go off on this man since he wanted to be an asshole and put down black women. He really fucked up and now I have to ruin his night and everyone else’s.

“What the fuck is wrong with him. What do you mean typical black women shit? Lawrence, check your boy.” Ashley sat her drink down hard as hell, but I could handle this situation very well.

“Ricardo, chill man. Just leave, don’t be disrespectful towards her.” Lawrence was annoyed and I could tell he wasn’t feeling Ricardo at all.

“That’s why you date white women? Basically, you believe they’re easier to control, huh?”

“Absolutely. They know their place, unlike your kind.”

“My kind? Oh, I’m sorry is your mother of another race or is that underlying racism really fucking with your head? How dare you put down your own women just to say you like white women? Are really this ignorant or you just want a way out of this date? ” we had an audience and honestly I was getting louder on purpose.

“My mother is black but she doesn’t ac-”

“She doesn’t what? Just shut the fuck up, please. Black men like you make it bad for the rest that actually respects us. The fact that you can sit up with a straight face and disrespect me is disgusting. A white woman can you have your sorry ass and we’ll see who has your back when you face racial issues from racist ass people. I’m out of here.” I got up and grabbed my purse.

“Are you done?”

“As a matter of fact, I’m not.” I picked my wine glass up and took a sip. I gave him a dirty look and that’s when I threw the rest in his face. “Now I’m done. Oh Samir, thank you for this blind date, but never again.” I shouted across the room. “Ashley, I will talk to you later. Enjoy your date with this gentleman.”  and that’s when I made my way out of the restaurant. I didn’t have time for the bullshit.

Waiting for my uber, I was heated. I was tired and I was ready to go off on every man that looked my way. I know there are men who disrespect women on a daily, but I never had a man disrespect me personally. Truth be told, I felt embarrassed. When all eyes were on us I felt like I was the one being judged and not him. That’s usually how it is right?

“Excuse me mi-”

“Wha- uh, oh….hi. Yes, can I help you.” I turned around quickly and just when I was getting ready to curse someone out, this fine ass man stopped all of that.

“Hi, I heard what happened in there. Are you alright?”

“Not really. I don’t like when men disrespect  me or any woman for that matter.”

“Yeah, that was pretty messed up. I don’t like seeing shit like that either. I just don’t understand how he could disrespect someone as beautiful as you.” He said as his tongue ran across his bottom lip. I don’t know what it was, but he was so sexy.

“Are you trying to flirt me?”

“I don’t know, is it working?”

“Kind of.” I giggled and fixed my dress. He was so damn beautiful and I don’t know why I was turning red in the face. He was making me nervous.

“I’m Brandon by the way? You are?”

“I’m Tori.”

“Well Tori, are you willing to go on date with me since that one didn’t work?” I wanted to say no, but the vibe was telling me to say yes.

“Hmm, I guess. As long as you’re not disrespectful or crazy.”

“I promise you don’t have to worry about that.”

“Hmm, okay. Now I’m going to hold you to that.” He handed me his phone and that’s when I put my number in it. This was another risk I was willing to take. He was fine and seemed nice. “Here you go.” I handed his phone back and that’s when my uber pulled up.

“When I call you, don’t act like you don’t remember me.”

“Oh, believe me, I won’t. Bye” I waved him bye and got inside of the car. Let’s just hope this works out better than what I just had with that jerk in there. I don’t need any more hell dates, Lord knows.