#also I hope some of yall come get mad in my ask abt this bc it's a free blocklist

[dykefaggotry]

the way ppl see the star of david now is actually so gross and blatantly antisemitic it makes me sad. my gf's mom, who is jewish, got me a star of david pin w the trans flag like a year ago and I have it on a beanie I wear to work at a coffee shop sometimes. and today a group of Young White Gays came in & were staring me & the damn hat down like I'd spit in their coffee and they start whispering amongst themselves going "first starbucks and now this?" like abt the starbucks boycott lmfao I'm like

begging yall to understand that the star of david =/= israel and you assuming everyone you see wearing it is some violent islamphobe is actually incredibly shit. you should probably work on that. I've heard WAY too many stories of jews lately actually literally getting attacked for wearing one, which is much worse than annoying comments at a coffee shop to someone who's only jew(ish). if you Don't see an issue w that I really don't know what to say

[lumagarden]

DRS2 PT2 THEORIES

im prob Very wrong but i want to write my thoughts!!

here r the semi-obvious

- kai and bonzle will somehow be brought back

- i think this season arin will find our what sora did and then also get mad at wildfyre for keepinf hwr swcret (this is where it gets a little less likely: i think he’ll run off or something (?) and gwt in some trouble)

- we’ll probably find out abt kais vision

non-obvious and Are my theories

- COLE X GEO CANON 😁!! someone said someone was getting a boyfriend this season (and now i assume its pt2 or it was just a rumor and ir wont come true st all) and i hope… they kith…. but tbh jaya dont even kiss that often so. prob not

- i dont think jaya will meet Yet.. but i think one of the ninja will find jay

- i think MAYBW arin will be able to do spinjitsu on an object like consciously—by the end hopefully??

- i Kind of hope that lloyd kinda goes crazy looking for kai liks. rlly troubked by the grief n stuff

- one of the ninja WILL turn evil i know it and i want ro say jay gets found and manipulated by lord ras or someone and then joins him based on the s2 figurine leaks but IDK

- i fhink they’ll find pixal!!! it would make sense maybw. if not this next part def the next one

- perchance cole learns the rising dragon thingy??

- i think egalts going to die sorry if not this next part the next one but it makes more sense for it to be at the end of this season

- i also feel like if egalt DOES die we’ll get a full scene of what wildfyre saw in her vision bc it wasnt like completwly touched upon and hers and kais r the only ones we didnt see at all (hers was mentioned tho so idk)

- i think lloyds visions might predict like. the next season or somerhing… (and he’ll continue having visions) also something will happen w him and rhe source dragons IDK WHAT but something

this is just what i Want/dont want to happen

- PLEASE if wildfyre gets a boyfriend i will throw myself off a cliff im so serious. she does NOT need a bf (she needs a gf)

- *rocking back and forth in my straitjacket* lostshipping.. lostshipping…

- fully evil jay or arin/lloyd sorry yall

- one of them have to put on the masks and turn fully evil I NEED IT i got a taste of it from pt1 and it wasnt ENOUGH

- this is unrelated to the show kind of but if lego doesnt release a mr frohicky plush i will go to the headquarters and ask for it myself

thats all i got thank u for reading

[smerzbeliever]

Okay lets get into this guys. Bc im struggling in a relationship. We both do love each other but have some major differences. At what point is it not acceptable anymore to be with the other person? Also what do yall mean when u say u cant chose who you love

ok if i'm being fully honest that other anon was a little bit on one and i didn't fully grasp what was going on but i liked the vibe. and idk ive only ever been in one relationship and am still in it 6 years later so i don't think i'm in a position to like make blanket statements abt relationships in general but first i think differences are good because variety is the spice of life. and i think it's normal to like. get mad and sometimes feel general resentment towards your partner because that's inevitable in any long term human relationship romantic or not like with parents friends whatever sometimes you feel hatred because emotions are unpredictable and not always logical.. but i would venture that one big difference is frequency of actual fighting and like how much it has an emotional toll on you. like my bf and i rarely if ever get into Fight Mode like we have tiffs and then resolve them or move on from them after we cool down and like neither of us are ever blatantly disrespectful of the other, whatever the argument is about it stays about that and doesn't broaden at least not out loud. like the other day without asking i opened a bottle of wine that he found at work and brought home bc to me it's just another bottle of wine and he doesn't even really like wine but he got miffed because the seal on that specific bottle felt special to him and he wanted to open it and in that moment in my head i was like omg what a baby but then i just stopped caring the next day because ultimately it's minor and ppl have a right to be different and assign value to different things. i think if overall the relationship has a net positive on your quality of life and the health of your soul then by all means stay in it because relationships are gonna be hard. but im curious what the "differences" are that you're describing. bc like in my case i respect and admire my bf on a foundational level like his values and his outlook etc and i don't think i would still be with him if there were huge ideological differences like if he were a libertarian or something or if he were a combative aggressive type we never would have even dated. our differences tend to be like, he's more of a homebody, he's more risk averse while im more sensation seeking, he doesn't like to have the ac on and i do, i'm more messy and he's more tidy, little things that ultimately don't cause huge clashes but sometimes can be frustrating and kind of inflate themselves in the moment to the point where i'm like omg i wanna smash you with hammers but then it passes. but we both value harmony and kindness and like don't go out of our way to pick fights and that restraint has done a lot for us i think. so i would say as an uneducated nobody that the point of no return is when you lose the fundamental mutual respect and admiration or find that your values or lifestyles have irreconcilable differences that cause you actual misery. like if you're getting into fights where actual mean personal attacks are getting thrown around i don't think that's acceptable anymore because if you truly respect someone and don't want to cause them harm you bite your tongue. i'm also not trying to brag about my relationship i hope that's not how this comes off i'm just speaking from the only experience i have lol. anyway i know that was kind of all over the place idk if it was helpful at all but whatever happens i hope things improve ❤️

[luvxiem]

my roomies and i took over 1300 pics today 😭😭😭 i literally ran out of phone storage i hate it here

oh yeah random stories from today utc if ur interested 😎 they sound like "reddit stop lying challenge failed" but i swear on my life bro i'm not lying 😭 california just mad weird

so my friends and i went to a museum and like we were all dressed up n stuff bc it's my roomie's bday so dress code 💅🏼 slay

while we were taking pics in the outdoor cafe area there was this dude just like standing off to the side bc he didn't wanna walk past us while we were taking pics until we told him it was ok and to just go

like 10 minutes later this group of girls comes up to our table and is like "our friend like saw u guys he was walking by in a denim jacket and he thinks ur all so beautiful" LMFAOOOOO i mean true 💃🏻 ofc we r gorg 3 pretty best friends so true mega slay but like we got rlly shy bc we were still taking pics so we offered them cookies LOLOLOL we didn't know what to do 😭😭 those girls were also cute tho slay besties !! hope u enjoyed our cookies they were homemade 🫶

ANOTHER STORY but this time abt how we got profiled twice 💀💀💀 so me and my roommates r all asian ones taiwanese the other is half chinese half korean and i'm korean right

while we were at the cafe this old white lady came up to us as we were packing up and was like "are u japanese? do u know ichigo? that one really famous street in japan?" we were like UHHHH no nihongo jouzo LMAOOO we were like "no we're not japanese" but she didn't rlly get it ig?? idk like she just kept talking 😭 my taiwanese roommate loterallg went "nani" after the lady left tho which was rlly ironic

and literally u cant make this shit up. later we went to the museum gardens and while we were taking pictures there was like this family sitting behind us on a bench and the dad was like "are you japanese?" HOW DID WE GET PROFILED AS JAPANESE TWICE 😭😭😭 i loterallg don't get it we weren't wearing anything like stereotypical what white ppl assume japanese ppl wear ykwim like. i was half tempted to be like "no we're from here" like the amt of times ppl just assume i don't speak english or that i'm a foreigner is insane like sorry bestie 🫡 "no but where r u rlly from" i'll k*ll u 😄

at the gardens after the guy asked us if we were japanese we like came back to that same spot after taking pics elsewhere and there was this other white lady that was just like walking by she like stopped so that she didn't get in our way so we were like "nono it's fine u can go" and we thought she left but no 😭 i look over my shoulder while i'm posing AND SHES JUST STANDING THERE WATCHING 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I GOT SO EMBARRASSED SO FAST LIKE WTF WOMAN WHY R U JUST WATXHINF US TAKE PICS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 and literally i think i went insane bc like my roommate who was the one taking pictures was like do u want us to take a picture for u? and i stood up so she could sit down in my spot. i'm gonna pass away this sounds so insane i swear to GOD bro i'm telling the truth rn. she tells me to sit back down so we could take a picture together. WTFFFFF 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 LITERALLY WHAT WAS HAPPENING TODAY. JUST BC U SEE A GROUP OF 3 ASIAN GIRLS W SPARKLY EYESHADOW AND DYED HAIR AND MATCHING OUTFITS U THINK WE'RE HAHA FUNNY EXOTIC ??? no </3 please leave us alone i don't wanna talk to strangers none of these bitches were wearing masks 😭 who tf just asks to take a picture with a stranger like wtfffffff yall r weird as fuck bro like i get it if we were wearing a costume or something like when i went to AX but wtf bro we were just dressed cute. not our fault most of these museum visitors weren't dressed to slay 🙄 slay or die bitch

there were also a lot of pretty girls i was like !!!! omg :3 there was this one girl w the PRETTIEST white dress i was like "ur dress is rlly pretty!" and she goes "thank u! i love ur guys outfits" girls supporting girls <3 crying tho bc some of these girls had uggy boyfriends yk that one tiktok audio where it's like "hey girlboss pussy queen. ur boyfriends fucking ugly. wanna date me instead" LITERALLY ME TODAY 😭😭😭 this one girl was taking pics in the garden and we were like omg she's so pretty! she was in a cute sundress w a hat 🥺 and then her boyfriend comes into view and he's in basketball shorts and sandals 💀 literally went thru all 5 stages of grief

also the guy working at bag check was cute :> i liked his voice he was kinda mellow and he was tall <3

[mouthfulloftoothpasterry]

HELLO i’m back and i’m bringing some more concepts (sorry in advance if i repeat some btw 😭)

- ok so like imagine if yall went to a concert and like he would be DANCING SO HARD and u would basically whisper-shout bc it’s loud (lol) what the artist/band is doing on stage to him… he would be so grateful for that ????

- omg also can we PLS imagine him as a dad to be trying his veryyyy best to build a crib and like help decorate the room??? trips to ikea!!! and harry feeling material on blankets to see which is best for his bubba!

- speaking to dad to be harry… HIM AT A ULTRASOUND appointment!!!! y/n would count all the babies toes for him!!!!!!! and he would so sob when he finds out the gender 🥰 and would be holding ur hand so hand bc he’s so lucky ????

- ok wait this is a but random but i can imagine him being a best man one day for like his best friends wedding and you would whisper in his ear that he looked beautiful ( him with his suit and colourful tie HE picked out 🥲) and he would blush like crazy… also would defo dance with you all dance night… conga? yeah. chicken dance thing? he’s doing that for an hour straight… and hearing ur laugh?? hes DEAD.

- alsooooo night routines would be so cuteee!! he can hear you taking ur makeup off and would go to the counter of ur bathroom and sleepily ask if you could do his moisturiser or something… or he would sit on the counter and wait for you, ask abt ur day, would get some snacks for ur night movie or something. but random but hey ho!

- small dates are a must btw!!! walk on the pier? yup! just harry feeling the wind on this face makes him so happy! and he doesn’t feel self conscious around you or anything… and if someone gave him a funny look you would be SO close to punching them in the damnnn face!! he’s very lucky to have u lol

sorry if these are bad! it’s evening in the uk so i’m tired lol. watch me come back tomorrow 💞 have a lovely day and hope u like these lol!!!!!! xxx

NO THESE ARE SO GOOD OH MY GOD

I NEED TO TAKE A WHILE TO RESPOND TO ALL OF THEM AND WRITE A GOOD CHUNK FOR ALL OF THEM SO I WILL EDIT THIS LATER AND TAG YOU ONCE I RESPOND TO IT ALLLLL!!!! 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍 THANK YOU SO MUCH 🥺

Okay they are done babyyyy @sunflowerstyles-6

Concert:

“oh my god, Harry he just fell!” Y/n giggles, watching the concert they caught at last minute. They didn’t even really know the band but they have heard a few songs and the band wasn’t very well known so pit tickets were pretty cheap. “What?!” Harry asks, stilling his dance moves and snapping his head toward his girlfriend. Y/n laughs loudly, “He almost fell off of the stage!” Y/n giggles, clinging to Harry. “Is he okay?!”

y/n nods, kissing harrys cheek. “Keep on dancing, baby! I want to get some videos of you!” Y/n yells over the music, pulling away from his and stepping back to take videos of his crazy head banging and jumping.

Building a crib:

“Honey, it’s okay. I can get someone else to build it.” Y/n says, rubbing her eight month bump while standing in the nursery that belongs to their second baby. “Hush, lovie. I’ve got this. Just let me take my time.” He says, growing frustrated with his pregnant wife but he still kept a smile on his face while talking to her.

“Okayyy, I’m going to watch ******. Yell for me if you need us.” She says, letting her man do what he needed to do.

Soon enough Harry yells her name, Y/n was selling up the stairs with their first born. She smiles while she leans against the door frame, breathless from hauling her big belly up the stairs. “You did it, baby.” She smiles, patting his cheek. “So proud of you.”

Yeah… you guys don’t get to know the name until a blurb comes out 😎 me also using they/ them pronouns so you don’t know the gender yet HAHAHAH

Ultrasound:

“Bubby, stay on my lap.” Harry whispers to his baby, hugging them while their mummy gets an ultrasound. “Okay… one second and I’ll be able to tell you the sex!” The woman standing in pink scrubs smiles, rubbing the wand over Y/n’s swollen belly.

“Okay, you’ve got a (YOU WISH YOU KNEW HAHAHAHA) in your belly!” The kind lady announces with a warm, excited smile on her face. Y/n jaw drop while Harry and ****** squeal. “ANOTHER?” Y/n cries, making Harry giggle. “Hush, you are gonna love it, baby.”

Best man:

“Don’t be nervous, silly.” Y/n giggles to her fiancé while she fixes his bow tie. They were at Harry’s best friends wedding. Mitch and Sarah had gotten engaged just a couple months before Harry and Y/n had, Harry now being his best man and Mitch going to their wedding as harrys best man.

“Hush it! I’ve got to walk in-front of all of those people.” Harry whisper yells, pointing to the door where people are slowly trickling in behind.

“Baby.” Y/n says, grabbing his face and looking straight into his eyes- he can instantly senses the eye contact and it makes his cheeks burn. “You look fucking beautiful. You are a dream. After the ceremony is over we are gonna go dance out asses off, and have the time of our lives. You aren’t Gonna have a worry in your mind so don’t get worked up now.” She says, hushing him with a firm kiss to his lips before he can even speak. “Thank you,” he cups her jaw. “I needed that.”

Soon enough Harry is screaming at the top of his lungs while doing the cha-cha slide- his suit jacket slipped off and shirt almost completely unbuttoned.

Night routine:

“Are y’ taking off your makeup, beautiful?” Harry asks from the bed, his voice tired and croaky. Y/n nods from the sink in the bathroom- “yup!” Harry groans, rubbing over his face. “Come take mine off, beauty.”

Y/n laughs at her husband, rolling her eyes while she pats her face dry with a towel. “Baby, you don’t wear makeup!” She yells back, stepping into the door way between their bathroom and bedroom. “Yeah but… come make me pretty. Wanna talk to you.” Y/n rolls her eyes but grabs a sheet mask and other things to doll up her husband nonetheless.

“You don’t need this, you’re pretty enough.” She says, swinging a leg over him and straddling his hips while he relaxes his head down into his pillow while she slides the slimy mask onto his face. “Yeah, yeah. How was your day?”

“It was fine, ****** was a little crazy today, but they went down so good for me during nap time.” Y/n hums. Harry smiles, “good.”

“How the company going?” Y/n giggles on-top of her husband, watching him lips form back into a smile. “It was good, sales are still going up!”

“Was it a good day?”

“Never when I’m away from you.”

Small date- at the fair!:

“No, H, come on! Give me a pretty face.” Y/n giggles, trying to take a Polaroid of him while he makes silly faces, pulling at his cheeks and lips to make himself look crazy. “Okay, okay, I swear. This one I will smile.” Harry makes a pretty face, closing his eyes while he smiles, pulling up his shoulders shyly while he does it. “Awe, you are so pretty.” Y/n coos at her fiancé,. Pulling up the camera to her eye.

As soon as the photo is shot harry is switching poses and shoving his corn dog into his mouth like a mad man. “Damn it Harry!” Y/n yells at her fiancé, making her erupt into giggles, almost making himself fall on the ground.

OKAYYY THATS ALL I HAVE :)

I realized that I spoiled that part about Harry eventually starting his own company… at least you don’t know what the company is 😭

[starfleetakaashi]

r u still taking requests😳 if u are how about som karasuno manager reader and kuroo hcs 🙈🙈🙈mhmm yes yes🤝😌 idk man i just love that concept hehe 😗

yesss anon im taking requests!! sorry if this is late i was procrastinating on doing them 🙈 hope u like this!!!💞💞 also i didnt know what u meant by kuroo hcs since its rlly vague so i just combined them but this mostly focuses on karasuno so if u want some kuroo boyfie hcs just request :3

being karasuno’s manager & kuroo’s s/o:

listen. karasuno already got two beautiful ass peoppe as their manager and now they have YOU??? sheesh everyone is sooo jealous

you joined them a few weeks before yachi did

you’re friends with her and was with her when kiyoko approached her abt it and u were curious so u asked if u could join as well and kiyoko was like YES.

obv yachi hesitated and u didnt so u joined immediately

so now karasuno has a manager of each year. yachi being first, you being second, and kiyoko being third!

at first u wanted to join partly because it would give u a chance to see ur long distance boyfriend, kuroo, a lil more since he lived all the way in tokyo

but nowww after a few weeks of being manager you’re glad u joined bc u love these boys with ur whole heart

u got tanaka and noya BLUSHING bc first of all have u seen urself and second of all ur a second year so its a win win for them

then u have a second mom and dad, daichi and suga. u may think they dont scold u that often but since ur classmates with the crackheads noya and tanaka, their energy was passed on to u so now u also get in trouble bc u involve urself with the dumb shit they do :P

u talk MAD shit too 😀 but only if someone is insulting the heck out of karasuno!! u will NOT tolerate ur babies being insulted right in front of u

which is why u, tanaka, and tsukki gang up to insult whoever insulted u guys and 99.9% of the time yall win and end up making the person cry

which leads u three in trouble with an infuriated daichi

moving on,,,,,, kags and hinata are ur babies

u love bullying them but also just being their mom UGH SO FUCJING CUTE

HINATA LITERALLY CALLED U MOM BEFORE AND UR JUST LIKE “yeah😀”

u and kiyoko are besties and if u werent straight and was dating a clown like kuroo u wouldve gone for her tbh :/

speaking of kuroo u havent told karasuno abt him yet, only bc ur waiting till the summer training camp

which is actually tmr and now ur packing and facetiming kuroo (who u havent told abt u being the karasuno manager yet either hehe)

since u didnt tell him hes kinda confused about why ur packing

“sooo where are u going again?”

“ugh kuroo just be quiet im trying to finish packing i have to leave early”

“awww come on babe pls tell me🥺”

“SHUT UP COCKADOODLEDO.”

:(

u havent even told kenma yet either bc kuroo is really fucking sneaky so u dont trust it despite knowing that kenma will try his hardest to hide it from him

“why cant u come to tokyo instead??”

“why should i??”

“babe :(((( COME TO TOKYO.”

“I DONT WANT TO.”

and then yall argue LMAOOOOO

anywaysss its finally morning of the trip and ur mad af bc u had to wake up so early but its worth it bc u get to see ur babies all cute and cuddly first thing in the morning

u hugged hinata for thirty min straight bc he was so warm UGH no one tell kuroo

u sat next to yachi who sat in the row across from hinata and kags

noya and tanaka were in the row behind u and they just kept bothering u omfg u almost murdered on that bus

but for some reason u survived through it

BUT UR FINALLY IN TOKYOOOOOO

u werent with hinata when he got lost and u almost died of a heart attack along with suga LIKE WHERE IS THAT BOY

but u found him after but it was long after kenma left so u both had no idea

anyways when ur finally at nekoma ur giggling and shit bc u just cannot wait for ur rooster head boyfie and his cat bestie to see u AHHH

nekoma vbc knows u so when they see u theyre like OH MY GOD SOMEONE GET KUROO and everyone is all freaking out to go get kuroo and ur just like :3 heyo

when they do get kuroo after ten min of just freaking out kuroo is like OH U SNEAKY LIL THING THIS IS WHAT U WERE PACKING FOR HUH

he hugs u so tight in front of karasuno and theyre like 👁👄👁 WHAT DA HELL

and then u let go of kuroo and turn to them with a smile on ur face talking about like “this is my boyfriend hehe”

tanaka and noya are sad as fuck but its ok

kenma sees u and hugs u and ur like GHDJSJDKWKSKAKSS KENMA BABY!!!!!!

and kuroo is like wtf u literally made a disgusted face when u saw me why does my bestfriend get a reaction like tha

and ur just like bc its kenma :P

ANYWAYSSS the whole training camp just passes by like a breeze and u made a few friends like akaashi and bokuto bc u were with ur boyfriend in gym 3 and they were there sooo ayyeee gym 3 squad!!!

AND THEEENNN the barbecue came and it was so fun u hung out with the girls for the first ten min but then they kinda bore u out so u stuck with yachi and shooed the guys that were being nice and helping her knowing that yachi was scared

“GET AWAY FROM HER GRRRRRR”😡😡😡

“[name] pls ur scaring me more”

u and kuroo gang up on kenma to make him EAT and kenma is like ugh this is why i hate them whenever theyre around each other

anywayz it was a rlly fun experience!! ur glad u got to see ur boyfriend even if it was a limited time and ur glad that karasuno was there bc they make everything so fun

u love them :(

you’d do anything for them :(

[aangfanclub]

liveblog s2 ep14: the tales of ba sing se

ok it is safe to say we had a LOT of feelings abt this episode. possibly the most any of us have ever had 

[abby, immediately: oh zuko. baby

levi: EVERY TIME HE’S ONSCREEN

abby: I LOVE ZUKO]

toph and katara yes!!! ladies!! we love to see it

dskjdsfjk HES SHAVING HIS HEAD WHAT A CUTIE PIE

[abby: oh look at that she pinned her hair loops back! that means they’re pinned in the back not the front

me and levi: YOU THOUGHT THEY WERE PINNED IN THE FRONT??

abby: I DIDN’T KNOW]

toph has SO much hair omg

toph has such gremlin energy sdflkjsd we love to see it

oh no baby!! imagine someone scrubbing ur eyeballs someone help toph

like a CLOWN??? that was so MEAN TOPH GO MESS THEM UP

sdjksdf YESSSS

toph said you know what would be a good one? yeeting you into the bottom of the lake

yes!!!! girls supporting girls!! this is the SWEETEST we love to see it

ohh are we just getting little snippets of everyone?? this is so interesting

iroh just be knowing things for real

where did iron get that instrument?? did he steal it just now???

aww I wish iroh would sing to me like that,, i’d never be sad again

earth bending soccer??? this is so cool omg

[me: iroh be ZOOMING

levi: yeah he got jets

me: don’t say jet in this household

levi: oh right sorry]

WITH  T H A T  STANCE SJKDLDSK IROH JUST CAME FOR THAT GUY’S WHOLE CAREER HUH

is this just a day in the life of iroh?? this is what he does every day???

this is truly iroh’s world and we’re just living in it

abby: iroh said if you’re gonna mug someone here’s how

iron just did a speedrun on his muggers redemption arc djksffjkl

STAN IROH! THATS ALL WE CAN SAY IS STAN IROH

ohh oh oh no honey,,, he misses his son so much we are all crying nooooo

[me: his soldier boy didn’t come home :(((

levi: soulja boy?

Abby: >:( ] 

ohh aang babey

[abby comments on how she can’t believe aang shaves his head and we’re forced to confront the fact that this whole time she thought he just didn’t grow hair or something]

he said my zoo is nasty and broke kjdskjsfklsd

aang buddy WHAT

abby: you’re friends with TWO animals why did you think that meant all animals

CABBAGE MAN NOOOO DSJKDSF cabbage man is the one who needs hope

THIS is a day in the life of aang???? he just be causing chaos?? sjkkldfdkljs

aang does NOT have the braincell this episode lol

ohh the whistle!!! if appa is here somewhere he heard that,, appa come back we miss you

justice for cabbage man!! cabbage man deserves better!

aang i’m sorry but what are you even doing my dude. why is this what you decided to do today fjksdfla

oh brother can EARTHBEND!! We respect aang in this household

WOAH WHAT THIS IS SO COOL OMG AANG WE LOVE YOUR ZOO

Ok fine aang i take it back. I support you and your zooing endeavors this is a valid thing to do with your day I have to admit. again, no choice but to stan aang

[the words ’the tale of sokka’ appear onscreen and we all erupt in cheers]

abby: he just be boomeranging all around for real

is sokka about to find a girl?? I feel like that’s what’s gonna happen and sokka bud that’s just not what you need I have to say

ksfdkjl this is what this is,,, sokka just wakes up every morning and Loves Women huh

[levi, paused on a frame of sokka: now THIS is baby. you guys see zuko for one split second onscreen and go “BAAAYBEEY” but THIS is what baby really looks like. I have nothing against zuko but every time he’s just walking down the street you guys go “BABY!”

me: yes!

abby: and we’re right!

levi: okay but I just don’t understand why zuko’s so baby!

me: it’s because he needs a hug! tell me you don’t look at that boy and say he needs a hug!

levi: so does iroh!

abby: yes but iron’s like, okay with himself. zuko is straight up NEVER having a good time and is convinced that he’s worthless and has to earn love bc his father is straight garbage

me: and sokka is, like, doing okay. he has the gaang. he has some self-esteem. “baby” is kind of related not only to how baby you are but also how much babying you need. zuko needs a LOT of babying.]

THEY CLAPPED FOR HIM SDFLSFJKFDJF

remarkable oaf dsjkfd SOKKA

is he about to haiku battle this girl?? is that what’s happening????

levi: this is like civilized rap battling

[we absolutely lose it and applaud wildly every time sokka completes a verse]

he’s getting kicked out for saying a haiku wrong??? dsflksda this is the funniest thing that has ever happened to sokka ever

levi, once sokka’s tale is over: THAT WAS SO SHORT. THAT WAS SO SHORT

abby: it is time for my little zucchini.

[abby and I instinctively yell “baby” at the screen as soon as zuko appears. levi has a point.]

oooo that girl just be making eyes at him for real

bro she just asked him out??? “he’d love to” IROH DSKLKLFSJD

HE COMBED HIS HAIR OMG SFJDJKSLDJD WHAT WE’RE LOSING IT ZUKO WHYYYYYY OH NO OH NO

oh thank goodness. girl Knows zuko rocks the scruffy look

oh zuko is so uncomfortable sdkjffd he SCREAMED this is not my gf and she did not bat an eye omg

zuko what??? the circus??? honey you’re so stupid

oh zuko nooooo. do not. not after you got mad at iron for warming his tea!!! zuko DO NOT

[intermission in which we all sing I see the light from tangled]

SHE DID THE DEBBIE RYAN HAIR THING JDSKFKLFGJ

[intermission in which we debate whether zuko can see out of his burned eye and whether the marks on his scar are beauty marks, additional scars, or artistic accents he drew on himself]

he gave her a coupon???? zuko?????????

ok I am not convinced this man is straight i’m gonna be real with you. this girl kissed him and he said I have to leave immediately dkslksdfajs imagine

KDFDSKJ HE CAME HOME AND HID IN THE CLOSET

aww he said it was nice :)))) we love zuko having a nice time

THE TALE OF MOMO YESSSSS

ohh its appa!!!! oh is momo dreaming? I think momo’s dreaming :(

abby: am I gonna cry about a lemur today? I didn’t think so

ohhhh is momo gonna find appa??? momo find appa!!! momo pls!

someone should give momo a gun honestly

dsjksdfkj momo’s got moves tho!! boy got thrown into a dance ring and immediately pulled out the sickest moves u can imagine

[levi: i’m sorry is momo carrying that panther??

me: momo’s carrying this show are you surprised]

YALL DO NOT TOUCH MOMO

dsfjkdajklsda momo said BYE

Abby [while momo is saving the panther cat things] : momo aang taught you too many morals. put some back

wait do they know where appa is??? where is appa?? OH THAT’S HIS FOOTPRINT

WHERE IS APPA???? that’s the end??? we still didn’t get appa back noooooooo

Final thoughts: incredible episode so many good moments. But we just want appa back :(

[grxceblqckthxrn]

hi @chocolatecarstairs came up with these post-CHOG questions and i really want to answer them because im sad that im finished reading it :((

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW

what was your favorite part, 1 or 2?

Honestly I loved both parts, but I’d say I loved part two just a little bit more for the time that James wasn’t under the curse anymore and LOVED Cordelia

which scene in the book was your favorite?

EVERY scene that had Matthew and James being wholesome parabatai in it!!! my favourite chapter in this book was Blue Ruin, the one after Grace takes the bracelet back from James  (aside from the whispering room ofc).

what scene (or scenes) made you cry the most?

ok ngl i didnt spend much of this book crying, but the only scene that actually made me tear up was when james was dying and matthew could feel it and jesse (WHO I FUCKING LOVED MORE THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD) gave him his last breath :(((((

what scenes were unsatisfactory?

there were not enough Christopher scenes (but to be fair, even if the entire book was just Christopher it still wouldnt be enough for me)

but fr, i cant think of any off the top of my head but i’ll edit this if i do later

what made you laugh the most?

matthew!! james!! thomas!! christopher!! also some of the things Jesse said

what bored you?

this wasn’t boring, but the whole charles/alastair plot line didn’t have me very invested. I did love the alastair/ cordelia scenes tho, so it was just charles that was the problem

also no offense to james bc he was my first actual fictional crush after reading TMH/NBS but like whenever he talked about being in grace i would literally zone out lol the bracelet curse makes him so boring but whenever he isnt in the curse/ is with someone who is NOT grace i just!! love him!!

what disappointed you?

cassie honestly had me kinda shipping matthew/cordelia for a solid FIVE SECONDS there when he stepped in to dance with her after james left her standing there, but that was one of the only scenes that made me feel like they had natural chemistry (along with the scene where he drops her off at her house). I felt like the during the rest of their interactions in the book, cordelia was kind of uncomfortable, which made me really sad because even tho she has every right to feel that way, i felt bad for matthew. I kind of want him to fall for someone else completely and for it to be reciprocated. also, i just really want for matthew and cordelia to become good friends because i feel like they could have such great natural chemistry if matthew didnt love her.

what is the top thing you wish had been done differently?

see above.

what things did you predict that came true?

JAMES BURNING DOWN BLACKTHORN MANOR I FUCKING SAID HE WOULD DO IT TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO IF YALL WANT ME TO LINK THE THEORY LMK

what are some things that were really unexpected?

ok there’s quite a few things here so bear w me babes:

- James genuinely loving cordelia from the start. I wasn’t expecting him to naturally feel nothing for grace at all, so i was expecting a slow burn jordelia, but finding out that he actually loves her makes me so happy but the end where cordelia thinks he was just pretending breaks my heart :(((

-matthew liking cordelia lol definitely was not expecting another parabatai love triangle but i hope it doesnt last. i do think it adds to the plot and i love it, it just hurts to see matthew so emo :(((

-I was expecting to like cordelia as a character, but i ended up LOVING her so fucking much???? she’s so three dimensional to me, and it’s interesting to see how her personality adapts around different characters as people adapt around different social circles irl

-liking jesse as much as i did

-ok so james’ entire character was a surprise to me. it’s so fascinating to see how the bracelet actually affected his personality.If you recall him in The Midnight Heir from TBC. he’s like an entirely different person. i still loved him in TMH but i went into CHOG thinking that if he was gonna be like that the entire time i’d probably get over him really quickly. i was pleasantly surprised by how much i ended up loving him even more tho

-i didn’t expect oliver hayward to die and im going to stay emo about it

- Christopher is so much more clear headed than he was made out to be prior?? like there were so many scenes where he was fully there and when he defended anna to alastair i just kfdsnfkld i love him

are there characters that you didn’t like before that you like now?

yikes umm... Alastair, maybe? he’s somewhat okay to me now, I dont dislike him as much as I used to. ooh and Hypatia Vex. the only scene i remember liking her in QOAAD was when she helped out kit, ty and dru (me, going a whole TSC post without somehow mentioning kit? not possible)

are there characters that you liked before that you don’t like now?

I started CHOG ready to give Grace the benefit of the doubt, and I was surprised by how timid and shy she seemed at the start, but it was interesting to see how it was all an act and how she doesn’t have an actual personality yet. one could argue that she actually does love james, but i doubt it at this point. i dont hate her yet, even tho she IS fucking up james’ life, but she’s on thin fucking ice.

who was your favorite new character?

does new character mean completely new or just never been in a novella new? because for the first, it would be Cordelia (i LOVE her sm!!) and other wise it would be james, matthew and co. also!!! jesse!!

what places in the book would you like to visit?

that hell dimension sounds pretty lit ngl

did you like the ending?

ok so. we KNOW that jordelia is gonna be endgame. cassandra clare always takes the hardest path to get there, but when has she not delivered? it’s just a matter of waiting. so, yes, i did like the ending in sense of the plot because it was a great twist, but i also feel really bad for all of them even tho ik they’re eventually gonna be together :(((

what did you think of the epilogue?

i wasnt surprised, since we alr know that Tatiana is shady asf, but i just really wanna know how she partnered up with a GREATER demon like lol wtf. again, im really happy in terms of plot with this

what are your thoughts on the engagement?

i feel so. fucking bad. for cordelia. and james too, even tho he’s under the bracelet’s curse so he doesnt even KNOW he’s being manipulated. but i love how even through the curse, james still loves cordelia in his own way.

what did you want to see that didn’t happen?

matthew getting therapy periodt

umm honestly i just want more “merry thieves” content like i just love. all of them.

what do you wish had been resolved that wasn’t?

i really want matthew to tell james or cordelia what happened because i just need him to be loved and supported lol i want to give him a hug. 

what is your favorite pairing as of now?

jordelia!!! and lucie and jesse are kind cute rn, and i like them if theyre gonna be pining after eachother but i feel like if they actually get together i wont like the relationship as much.

which characters would you like to see more of in the next book?

CHRISTOPHER CHRISTOPHER CHRISTOPHER 

ANNA!!! i lovED reading about her she’s so badass

matthew!! jesse!! also i wanna see more of those bitchy girls lol just so we can see anna or cordelia tell them to stfu

what is one character whose death you would undo if you could?

ok i know that jesse is still very much a conscious character despite being dead but like,,, i want him to be the way he was before and also i want him to come back to life

and barbara!! she seemed so sweet 

which characters got bad/unsatisfactory endings?

ummm barbara? i cant really say much on this yet bc its still only the first book and when has the first book ever ended up with anyone being happy.

oh but also can we sign a petition to make cassie let matthew actually survive the series because my heart aches just at the THOUGHT of eventually having to read a scene where he dies

which characters got what they deserved?

literally. none of them yet. :(

who should have died but didn’t?

Tatiana lol also lowkey charles but i also feel pity him to an extent 

what plotline are you most excited to see in the next book?

okay the entire jesse plot has me hooked because i LOVE his character. also i love the bracelet plot but its making me MAD because i just want james to be happy but

what is one scene that you wish hadn’t happened, but you know was unavoidable?

THE ONE WHERE GRACE PUTS THE BRACELET BACK ON JAMES. i mean obv there was no way he was completely done with grace, but i literally got so sad at that part like why HIM of all people smfh let him be happy

which pairing do you like the least?

alastair x charles, grace x james, lucie x matthew bc neither of them actually like either imo lol

what are some theories you have for chain of iron?

- not necessarily for COI but i think matthew is gonna get exiled and turned into made into a mundane

- the bracelet will break (?)

- jesse will come back to life (like actual life) at the end of the book

-grace is gonna do something to help the main characters, making it hard for us to hate her.

what characters do you think should have gotten more plot time?

lol are yall gonna hate me if i say christopher again (also anna)

anyways this was really fun!!!!! PLEASE ASK ME STUFF ABOUT MY OPINIONS AND STUFF OR JUST SAY ANYTHING ABT THE BOOK BC IM DESPERATE TO TALK TO PPL ABOUT IT

[tfw-no-tennis]

hxh....MUSICAL

as soon as i saw that a hunter x hunter musical from the year 2002 starring the OG 99 VAs existed, i knew i has to see this...so i set out and watched the nightmare of zoldyck (i would later find out that theres ANOTHER musical, which i plan to watch too)

luckily its all on youtube subbed! in 360 quality...oh hell yes lmao

ok i logically knew this was gonna be a musical but seeing the characters singing is like. a lot. THIS IS SO STRANGE 

musical illumi is played by a woman which is interesting. shes got a good voice 

i think they just panned to killua but it was so pixelated that i legitimately could not tell hvbadjkfbjkdsf

i have no idea whats going on vhbajdfhhajsdf theres a bunch of people falling over on stage...i think theyre dying? who are yall 

oh shit backup dancers?

lmao illumi killed the backup dancers rip.

oh that IS killua lol. s/o to the 3 pixels that are visible 

is this gonna be the zoldyck arc but a musical? lmao

OH WAIT IS THAT KURAPIKA AND LEORIO? i cant even tell lmaoooo

i can 100% tell these are fan subs lmaooo i love bad fan subs SO MUCH it makes a viewing experience even better

this is p much just a musical version of the manga/anime so far lmao i love it 

the way theyre spelling zoldyck is. a lot 

is every character gonna get an intro song. how much of this musical is singing and how much of it is dialogue cause theres defs a range w/musicals 

lmao i love gon leorio and kurapikas interactions even here, they rlly feel like two parents being dragged around by their energetic kid 

i cant even see the set at all so im just gonna assume theres like, the gate and all that behind them, but it all just looks like a dark wall to me lmao

i love singing exposition 

HISOKAS IN THIS???????????????????? oh my lorddddd 

OH i see now in the description that hes played by the 99 VA too lmao i love it 

wow musical hisoka rlly b like [writes himself into the zoldyck family arc]

oh here we go w/the song introducing the zoldycks 

damn grandpa got mad flips 

this is. wild 

its especially wild that alluka isnt here bc she like...didnt even exist yet at this point in the story 

zoldyck family sitcom wow 

i see the gon/killua romance is still going strong in the musical 

oh so they did all the training and goin thru the door stuff offscreen lol

this is actually doing a pretty good job expanding on the canon stuff from this arc lol so props. espec w/showing more of killua being scared of illumi 

oooh this is interesting actually, this is like....an AU where illumi is present during this arc, and how that would change things. And Also They Sing 

the zoldycks are so fucked up lmao 

also i feel like theres some ‘early adaptation’ character weirdness going on, like w/the grandpa, who seems much less intense here than in the anime (at least after seeing him in the yorknew arc), and milluki, who seems like a gag character here lmao

oh my god lmao is hisoka here to visit illumi?

the hilarious irony of illumi telling killua that assassins cant have friends, then going to hang out with his good buddy hisoka

kurapika is the only one here with a brain cell (for now) 

ah yes hisoka and illumi doing their nasty murder flirting thing 

HISOKA IS SO NASTYYYY I HATE HIM tho his actor is very good and smarmy

OH its canary!! is there uh. blackface goin on there. i cant actually tell, what with there being only 3 pixels present at any given time

really love how half of this is just the regular arc but with the characters singing abt stuff during it 

the lady playing killuas mom has a rlly good screeching voice jesus lmao 

ohh i love musical fighting so much

the sound fx on kurapikas sticks are cracking me up

butlers got mad cartwheels

oh theyre doing the coin thing! this is so out of order lmao

oh my god i love that theyre doing like, sick dance moves while coin flipping

ah the zoldyck messenger hawk makes an appearance. i love that thats canon and real

the 12 yr old gay romance is REAL even here 

the subs seems to be translated very literally, especially in the songs, so its honestly not clear what theyre even singing about vbsjkdjhfskjfd

gon and killua singing about each other is adorable tbh. also i love how silva asks killua abt his friends and killua is like yeah i made some friends. and then only talks abt gon ahjsduhfabhskdf gayboy 

ok so the zoldyck arc is like, ending, but theres still an hr of musical left so whats even gonna happen lmao. also where did hisoka go

oh no the audio and video arent synced anymore huvbhjadfbhjsakdf

oooh they asked canary to come w/them, thats cool

theyre having a party??? hvbajdsfbhasjkdf

oh shit??? what did zeburo just do to killua??? WHATS GOING ONNN lol this is UNCHARTED TERRITORY 

OH GOD IT WAS ILLUMI. SHOULDVE KNOWNNN

omggg all their formal outfits....everyone cheering wildly at kurapika is cute 

LEORIO AND KURAPIKA DANCING.....

the fact that both killua and gon are taller than kurapika in this is rlly funny 

the idea that the zoldycks are also highly trained ballroom dancers is super hilarious to think about, even moreso when you consider how isolationist they are 

seriously grandpas got mad flips

also i love leorios outfit 

this feels like a filler arc tbh. and i dont mean that in a bad way!

leorio trying to get kurapika to go to the hot springs with him lmaoooo

HVDSJBJFSBFJHS HISOKAS BACK. IN DISGUISE. OH MY GOD 

hisokas stage presence is fantastic gotta say 

damnnnn dad zoldycks got mad flips too. guess it runs in the family 

props to the actors for managing to keep their wigs on while flipping around like that 

its so fuckgin funny thats hisoka just introduces himself as illumis friend, when this whole arc is all about how assassins Cannot Have Friends 

so hisoka is just here trying to get family approval too huh

gon miming a fishing trip was adorable and realistic...sometimes u get skunked and It Just Be Like That

leorio is rlly tryin to shoot his shot w/kurapika and kp is just Not Realizing huh vbjsdufjbsaukjf

wow leorio breakin the fourth wall like that lmao 

wow so illumi hacked killua. rude 

hisoka and illumi are lowkey hilarious in this 

leorio is rlly sending every signal possible to kurapika and kp is like. No 

leorio: killua is a scary murder baby, but also im adopting him 

kurapika singing abt how weird it is having friends after dedicating their life to Revenge(tm) is v on brand 

HISOKA OH BOY 

LMAOOOO HISOKA IS SUCH A FUCKING SNITCH I CANT 

no wonder illumi didnt wanna tell him abt his evil plan lmaoooo he fucked up even telling hisoka that much clearly 

the zoldyck siblings just staring at hisoka in confusion bc How The Fuck Did This Clown Get In Our House hvbhjdksfnjksdf

you can tell the subs are off when the audience is cracking up but you dont even see a joke there lmao

oh my goddd hisoka using bungee gum to make everyone dance is. hilarious 

oh my god synchronized dancing 

HVBSHDJFBJDSKFHBSJ illumi doing a dance routine independent of hisoka and hisoka being like ????? vhbjsdkhfjkjsdnfkj THIS IS HILARIOUS

supremely funny to me how illumi makes such a big point abt assassins not having friends, yet hisoka is announcing himself as illumis friend w/every given opportunity hvbhajdkdfhjskf

this feels so filler arc i love it. thats so charming to me since the 2011 anime doesnt have any filler (from what i can tell?) 

kurapika and leorio rlly feel like killuas parents here lmaooo

this is all dramatic but kurapika keeps repeating what leorio says and its cracking me up hvbajhkdhfbjsk

i lov this fambly 

ah, even in the musical illumi is still such a manipulative bastard 

i feel like the quality just went down EVEN MORE, which i didnt think was even possible hvbhjkdsfskf. at least the audio is synced w/the video again

illumis got a good evil laugh 

this is the exact brand of dramatic angsty filler content that i was hoping for in this lmao i love it 

oooh more zoldycks 

honestly this is more how i expected the zoldyck arc to go in canon hbshjdkujfkjsfdas

dramatic gay filler angst + somewhat incorrect fansubs = perfection

OH SHIT CANARY 

BRO DID SHE JUST DIE???? OMFG

the subs keep calling illumis power ‘spells’ which seems to imply that illumi is some sort of assassin wizard rather than a nen user hvbsudhfkjsdjgf

come to think of it, what point was the manga at when this musical was written? it has to be pretty early on, maybe just as nen was being introduced

gon boutta go ham on illumi...Get His Ass

OHHHH GON DOING THE ICONIC ARM GRAB....ARM GRAB REPRISE

gon doin the good ole reliable shounen ‘punch your friend and yell at them so they snap out of a funk’ lol

i do love how typically shounen this is. friendship speeches! but delivered by SONG!

illumis main hobby is butting in at the worst possible moments 

HISOKAS BACK OH BOY

hisokas playing card blocked killuas hit hvbhjakdhsfjnakdsf thats like in jojo when those manga blocked dios knives 

wow the whole zoldyck squad is here

ooh forbidden zoldyck lore lmao

killua: mom u guys are lame im joining this much cooler family now. bye 

i love how hisoka is just weirdly lurking around for all this zoldyck drama lmao

silva seems like such a bro in this but i feel like hes rlly not like that in canon vhauidfhbsjhdkjfk

oh nope there he goes w/the evil laugh lmaooooo

sorry dude but leorio is his dad now 

gon sniffing zeburo hgbajkdfshbjkdfjnsjdk oh my god

oh hell yeah some synchronized main character finale dancing 

actor showcase! everyone loves kurapika which, same 

ah so the director of this musical also directed the sailor moon musicals, which i didnt know existed but of course that exists...thats funny considering the hxh mangaka is married to the sailor moon mangaka 

anyways that was fun honestly!!!! i fuckgin love musicals, and musical adaptations of non-musical source materials can be like, SO different tonally, but this honestly felt like a fun filler 

it was really interesting seeing something based on the canon from this early on - as i said above, some of the characterizations (like the zoldycks) seems a bit different than we’re used to, but others were spot on - like hisoka only showing up intermittently to sow chaos and do nothing else vhjkadhbfhkjdsfnj im assuming the yorknew arc hadnt happened at this point, but hisokas actions in this musical were hilariously similar to how he acted in the yorknew arc, so, props. 

plus it was cool to see the ‘what if’ factor w/hisoka and illumi also being there, espec illumi interacting w/killua bc its so wildly different from how killua reacts to any of his other family members - hes clearly scared of illumi, in a way he isnt w/anyone else, and that was done well here w/the scene where illumi threatens killua’s friends to get killua to listen to him

also the angst was honestly great, and there was some REALLY sweet wholesome parts that i loved. and the music wasnt half bad either!!

i think the VAs did a great job playing the characters - hisokas VA was especially great (and i really loved kurapika too). gons hair was not very similar to how it looks in the show so it was a little more obvious that he was being played by a grown woman, but still a great performance. 

anyways fun times, i love musicals and this was a fun ole 2000s filler shounen musical adaptation

[roraruu]

anniversary: bones of rubber, heart of steel

can y’all believe this fic began one year ago today? i can’t, it feels like i was still fumbling through essays and reports and trying to get a skeleton down lol. i’ll ramble more below, but in case you missed it, here’s the ao3 link and pdf!

i still am super proud of it, although the pdf could have used some work in formatting and close editing but dude I’m one person making this so I’m cutting myself one big ass piece of slack cake! it’s also... sorta my baby in a weird way--pm is my og disaster child currently going through it’s hot topic/mcr phase but i love it. bones/heart was just easy to write, a pleasure to edit and fun to format. i wanna take a moment and talk about why i wrote bones/heart, some influences i had, music, etc. 

as i said in the author’s notes, i had a completely different vision for this fic—originally, faye was to be a hot-headed mage who was invited back to the castle for a ball and met tobin and new feelings blossomed but i really couldn’t get behind that for whatever reason. eventually i thought of one of my favourite tropes—differences becoming strengths. y’all know what I’m talking about right? like you have a mage with low def and pair them up with a knight who’s res is low, they sorta prop each other up? (yes im talkin abt fayelukas hhhh) anyways ya girl got run over by that trope bc hey... archers have limited mobility and pegasus knights get ko’d by arrows so yeah gimme that shit... and mage!faye would end up coming back in wildflowers but we’re not talkin abt me crying into a keyboard.

I wrote bones/heart because not only do i love the dynamics and pairing, i love the characters separately. i relate a lot to Tobin’s desire to be something and help his family, and Faye’s desire to be loved and help her friends and plus i was mad pissed about how they wrote her. i mean, i have a LOT of problems with a lot of the girls’ writing in echoes but i can overlook it because echoes is such a good game. anyways, my goal for this fic was not only to make faye a more relatable character, but show that she’s unfortunately thrown into a shit situation. like ingrid in 3h, I think she is a victim of bad writing, because she’s got the potential to grow as shown with her supports with silque, but she’s really... outta her element (plus she might be going through personal shit bc of being attacked at the beginning of the game? Yeah maybe that :/)

i wanna talk about the repeated phrase, “bones are made of rubber, but a heart is made of steel”, something that Faye’s nana says. i’m almost 100% certain that i didn’t coin this, my single brain cell was like “say something about not winning every battle!!!” if you’ve read any other fics of mine, u know i am a sucker for repetition—in peacemaker its repeating the phrase “promises are forever” (very cheesy), the forget me nots in SGSN and the repetition of faye seeing wildflowers and being called her pet name as a form of submission. anyways, this one was structured to not only prop faye up, but also tobin. these guys are fighting a literal war and will be hurt and broken time and time again, but a heart is incredibly strong, especially Faye’s. a bone can break, but you can heal it—if your heart is broken it takes much longer to heal. my headcanon is that Faye’s nana was always in her corner and would tell her the phrase when she wanted to be with her friends but had other duties, etc.

if you asked me a year ago which was my favourite scene, I would’ve said the barn scene in chapter 3(?), but now it’s faye and tobin sitting by the campfire in the first chapter because it’s just... tender and they’re trying to see each other on the same level, you know? I’ve always felt there’s this huge divide between faye and gray and tobin; maybe it’s because faye is optional or maybe its smth superficial like her being a girl (with better growths and classes, gold knight makes me so gay dude)

Oh yeah and if yall forgot i was walking home from school one day and looked down a hill and it was like muddy and gross and was like “oh no I hope i dont fall” and then fell like a dumbass and my immediate thought was “god faye I’m so sorry” lmfao. ANYWAYS TLDR: i wrote faye falling and fell on my back not even like a day later and instantly regretted my entire life.

anyways, happy birthday bones/heart! I’m still so so so proud of this fic and if you haven’t read it, maybe try giving it a shot? I know that pairing seems weird but it’s good kush, I haven’t gotten outta faybin hell for a solid year and a half! i hope y’all look forwards to the new plans i have for those dumb villagers..

[moonchildhcs]

parkjin hcs!

high school au! uwu

okay all of yall are different ages with woojin, chan, minho, and changbin in their last year, the 00 line in their middle year, and jeongin in his first year (with u and persi)

yall are taking,,, drum roll please,,,

art 1 !

listen. these mad lads went straight for their music and dance which  is FINE but mandatory one year of art so yall are in a class together! strange,,, but that is the class all eleven of yall share and its,, fairly chaotic

well, mostly because of the crackheads (you, felix, minho, and jisung) who congregated in the back corner and get kicked out three times a week for their antics but like. the rest of yall are chillin and are good diligent students !

well,

for the most part

see the thing is,,

you get your stuff done all the time !! in fact youre probably among the first to turn their stuff in !! like WOWZA ur fast

but, that, is, because, u, want, maximum, time, to, daydream, about,,,,

HYUNJIN

you never really interact with him because hes an uppcerclassman and hes got his friend group and stuff and ur best buds with the Crackheads ! but like. hes so CUTE and SOFT and TALENTED like truly... an ideal boyfie

and your friends make fun of you ALL THE TIME ! like.. you finished your work and youre goofing off with the mad lads in the corner and then jisung will nudge you and go “oOoOoO he glanced in our direction i wonder what that could mean”

and ur like. we are. so loud. the loudest ppl in the class. hes probably a lil annoyed but on the inside ur like “WEEWOOWEEWOOWEEWOOWEEWOO” like ur having an internal meltdown bc dance god visual god just looked in your direction

but then the teacher comes by and ur head goes down a wee bit and you add some finishing touches to ur project as the teacher bags on the rest of the Crackhead Squad for goofing off in class and theyre asked to step outside and take a breather and once they think they can behave they can return to class

which MEANS they aint comin back

so you take this opportunity of Tranquility to do your fave activity ...

daydream abt ur crush and stare at the back of his head wistfully ! and its real cute and wholesome and stuff and like

when he turns to ask woojin about something for the project you see the lil mole under his eye and the sunlight catches his soft hair just right and ur just losing it because hes SO SOFT like bitch what the absolute fuck !! why did god pop off so hard making him

and then... It Happens

youre gazing at him, lost in space as you daydream about holding his hand and going on ice cream dates, he turns around to ask woojin something again and as he does so Yall Make Eye Contact and you FREAK

not externally but internally youre literally on fire and you dont know what to do

so out of instinct you do a quick peace sign and he gives you a little smile and then goes to do what he intended to do (ask woojin how the hell ur supposed to paint this)

and youre LOSING IT like not only did he acknowledge you but HE SMILED AT YOU!! HOLY SHIT !! BITCH WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD

youre lowkey hyperventilating but its fine because class ends and its your last period so you pack up your bags and head out to walk home with lix, jisung, and minho!! and theyre like wiggling their eyebrows at you and you KNOW theyll tease you but. you need to share this interaction.

and lemme tell you THEY LOSE IT TOO!!! bc hyunjin is a Shy Lad there is no way he caught you looking at him and let it pass !! he had to like you theres no way he didnt NOT like you yknow??? it is Out Of His Character he usually ignores that stuff

and ur like haha no guys its not that deep !! but internally ur freaking out Because Oh MY God What If It Is That Deep so you decide,, to hatch a plan to confess

and the thing is,,, IT IS THAT DEEP

hyunjin is lowkey losing it because. he usually Minds His Own Business and he knows hes popular among people for being cute but ur just. so funny and cute and wholesome and oh wow is his heart beating a lil fast?

YES IT IS !! and hes like u know what?? heck it ILL CONFESS and hope she likes me and this wasnt a coincidence hhhh

so. yall are hatching your plans to confess

hyunjin goes to persi, resident Secret Holder for the laid ease, and reveals that you like nice bright flowers !! like roses, sunflowers, orchids!!! and that you really like pretzels and chocolate almonds uwu

and you go to seungmin and jeongin, who reveal that hyunjin loves forget-me-nots! and he has an affinity for strawb milk and the golden oreos!!!

the thing is,, yall are kinda cliche. like,,, shoujo manga kinda cliche. so if it isnt obvious already yall are hatching THE SAME CONFESSION  PLAN HHHHH YALL ARE SO C U T E

so yall draft letters upon letters, spilling your hearts out in its contents ! 

hyunjins letter is pure white, smelling a bit like his cologne ! it has no marks on it or anything

your letter is light pink and smells like your perfume! its closed with a red heart sticker uwu

yall slip a little note onto each others desk asking to meet each other on the rooftop and ur both like FUCK I HOPE THEY COME EARLY SO I CAN REJECT THEM BEFORE THE PERSON I ACTUALLY LIKE COMES

because,, since yall dont interact much yall dont recognize the others handwriting sgfgfdghf literally dumb bitch hours

anyways yall both SPRINT to that rooftop after school but you were nervous so you got a pep talk from ur friends, the lads, before going up

so once again, yall dont realize. that you have. the same plan.

so hyunjin is waiting there all nervous HOPING youll come first and not whoever else planned on confessing

and youre sprinting up the stairs, hoping whoever planned on confessing wasnt there yet but hyunjin is so that you can confess

and as you burst through the door, pink letter in hand, your eyes zoom to the letter in hyunjins hands and ur like. Oh. Oh Dear.

and hyunjin looks at you, then the letter in ur hands like. Oh. Oh Dear. 

so you two shyly exchange letters, faces burning red as you read through the confession 

and the thing is at one point in your letter you mention how it would be a dream to even hold is hand so he just. this absolute cheeseball. he hold your hand and goes “i guess dreams come true!” and you LOSE IT because oh my god hes such a NERD !!!! but now hes your nerd :^)

so yall go to the park afterwards and split your snacks between the two of you, monching and talking until the stars are twinkling and you guys realize FUCK THERES HOMEWORK

so you go home to do your hw! and yall put the flowers in a cute vase, right next to your beds :^) as a reminder ! (though hyunjin presses some of them with the help of his mom so he can preserve them forever oopsies_

and when yall walk onto school the next day hand in hand, hyunjins friends are like “NICE” but also super shocked bc HYUNJIN?? DATING???

but then your friends. your mad lads. absolutely fucking LOSE IT they are hooting and hollering and you are like Oh My God I Am So Sorry and hyunjin just. does a lil smirk and kisses ur cheek and u are sent into SHOCK and your friends are in cardiac arrest because holy fucking SHIT

and you two are literally the school’s it couple like initially some people were hostile because they wanted to date hyunjin !! but after a while they accepted it and grew to love the both of yall together, from your wholesome interactions to slight crackheadedness

its just so CUTE he always brings you like a rose or smth every day and ur like “this must be expensive” and hes like ! “for you, nothing is expensive” and ur like “ur so cheesy” and hes like “only for you bb :^)”

also now your side of the class has merged with hyunjin and his friends now joining yall crackheads and its cute uwu

[jaeminlore]

friends to lovers!ten

prompt: how about a scenario in which the reader enters a convenience store, late night, wearing super fancy clothes and ten works in this store and they talk and sparks fly and there's a little bit of angst but lots of fluff?

okay well so this request immediately made me think of that ten gif where he is wearing those pajama pants nd the black sweater

y'all KNOW the one

i found it and added it ^^

but that outfit comes in a lot later in this scenario so we'll skip it for now

okay so the setting is prom

nd the most popular boy in school asked you so you bought this super fancy dress and wore your nicest heals and jewelry

you even wore fake eyelashes like you wanted to look n i c e

bc you're not very popular in school and you thought your senior year would've gone unnoticed by everyone

but the cutest (*´꒳`*) boy in school asked YOU out and so ofc you accepted

but :(((

unfortunately :(((

said cute boy had only asked you out as a bet

and . . . it hurt

bc you had your insecurities but you thought that for once someone had just seen you for you and had fallen in love w you

or at least liked you like you obv don't think someone has to love you in highschool

it'd be nice tho :'—(

anyway so when you find out (you had heard some girls whispering abt it in the stalls) you left as soon as you could

the popular dude had been your ride

so you called your mom and asked her to pick you up at the convinience store near the school

partly bc you didn't want to stay at that school any longer

but mostly bc you were craving some spicy noodles

you pull off your heels and walk over to the convenience store, smiling softly at the worker at the counter

he looked bored before you walked in, his chin resting on his palm

but when you came in he was all business like suddenly he was standing up straight w a charming smile

"hello i'm ten! let me know if you need any help!"

his eyes trail down your body and his eyebrows lift "oh! were you just at prom? did you have fun?"

you shook your head solemnly

"i went but . . . i didn't have much fun."

"oh" ten frowns before brightening up again "well you look pretty."

"thanks"

you feel a little flustered at his words, since he sounds so genuine

"um— i'm gonna buy noodles now,,,,,"

nd you probably scurry away from him as quick as you can bc you already feel humiliated

like the only thing left is to have a crush on the convenience store worker just bc he called you pretty

you snatch your favorite brand of noodles and go over to the lil station, pouring the boiling water into the bowl before heading back to the counter

you pay for the noodles, and when ten hands you back your change his fingers brush your palm and you're just

blushing aGAin

you plan to eat the noodles outside bc there's no way you're going to stay in the store

but ten kinda leans over and asks

"can i eat w you? my break is soon and since you’re the only customer . . . would it be okay?"

his cheeks are kinda pink as he asks, and his eyes are avoiding your gaze as he stares at a soda stain left on the counter

u rlly don't wanna say yes

bc you just want to be alone in your misery

but also ... he looks so nervous you rlly didn't have the heart to reject him

"sure. but let's eat outside."

suddenly he gets the bRiGhTeSt smile on his face!!!! and he's like just let me make some hot chocolate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you actually have no idea how lonely ten is

esp tonight bc he had to take a shift at the gas station while his school had prom

and of course he wanted to go bc prom is like the one time you can dance and no one makes fun of you for it

but his boss would not let him take his shift off so :(

and he doesn't think you know him bc the two of you are in completely different social groups

he is on the dance team and participates in musical theater

you are on the swim team and spend any other time in the library

ten knows you bc he thinks you're really cute :,,,,)

and he was going to ask you to prom

but

in the locker room after gym he overheard one of the popular boys talk abt bringing you and he knew he couldn't compete

so he never asked

fate must've intervened and brought you to him, so he took advantage of the situation and asked to eat with you

you're already eating when he arrives w his hot coco and a cup of noodles

it's an odd combination but you don't criticize it

"so, y/n, what brings you to my humble workplace?"

you narrow your eyes "you know me?"

"we go to the same school," ten answers, and he can see the obvious awkwardness in your eyes bc you genuinely don't recognize him "it's okay, we aren't friends or anything. i just know you bc you're on the swim team and my friend doyoung is the captain."

"ah! doyoung!" you say, thinking of your captain who always nags you to keep up your fitness regime. you wonder what he would say if he saw you with a sodium-packed cup of noodles

"he's annoying. nags too much."

ten laughs, and it's chirpy and bright and so wonderful that you find yourself leaning in to hear it more clearly

"he's always been like that," ten supplies, "he didn't even want mark or donghyuck to go to prom tonight bc he was afraid someone would spike the punch bowl"

"i think i saw that yuta kid pouring some tequila in it earlier."

the two of you compare nagging mom!doyoung stories before ten brings up the elephant in the room

"so why are you here, and not at prom?"

"oh. well I found out i was asked on a bet. something like who could bring the biggest loser as their prom date or something. i didn't stay around for the details."

ten is mad. you can't see it, bc he's rlly good at hiding his anger

but his jaw is clenched and his fists are going full arthur meme under the table

he just doesn't understand why someone would do that to anyone, let alone the person he liked the most in school

you don't even seem that bothered by it anymore, having gotten your noodles and disposed of your fake eyelashes and heels

(you save the eyelashes for another use tho obv those things are expensive)

and ten kinda has the urge to ask you to go to prom with him

it must have an hour left, and he could close up the store early (even if he would have to hear from his boss the next day)

but you could get the prom you wanted, and he could dance beside the prettiest girl in the room

"hey, y/n?"

you don't hear him, because a minivan is pulling into the parking lot, and you're already walking towards it. "I'll see you at school, ten! thanks for hanging out w me!"

"oh. no problem!" he gives you a wave and a halfhearted smile before turning around to clean everything up and return to his shift

he's very sad that he missed out on his opportunity w you

fast forward >>>>>>>>>>

two weeks later, and you're cramming for final exams while simultaniously training for the last swim meet of the year

and you're v v busy

but also you just want a break

and doyoung has had the whole team on a no carb diet bc he wants everyone to have suburb energy burned by vegetables alone

and all you're craving are some spicy noodles from the convienice store

you also kind of want to see ten again

ever since prom night you've noticed him around school and your heart gives a lil stir every time he sends you a smile or tiny wave

bc he's so cute :(

and you can't believe you haven't noticed him before :/

but at least you know him now :)

so anyway you decide to visit the store he works at in the hopes of gaining enough energy to be able to finish studying for your finals

you also rlly want ten to be there bc you highkey want to ask him on a date

bc he’s rlly cute and he was so kind to you that he just makes your heart go zoooooOOOoOoOOOoommmmmMMMMmm

so you go completely dressed down compared to last time 

like your hair isn't even brushed lololol

when you arrive,,, ten isn't there :(

instead it’s this old guy behind the counter and he kind of sneers at you before going back to watching the lq tv in the corner

although it sucks that ten isn't there, you go to the back to find the same instant noodles you found last time

and low and behold!!!!

i bet you guys cant guess what happens next bc this is so unpredictable ;)

ten is there!!!

this is where the gif comes in bc he’s dressed in his pajamas too with an oversized sweater and messy hair that brushes over his eyes and U DNjkzwbfjdjfbbfjewbfe you gET it

“ten?”

he jerks around from looking at a packaged cheese danish (you KNOW he would don't argue w me!)

“y/n?” his smile grOWS “what’re you doing here?”

you shrug “i came for snacks..... and maybe you”

“me??” and ten is blushing !!! bc his crush is looking for him!!!! 

“well.... you found me”

“yeah...” you don't really know what to do next, so you just hold up the cup of noodles,, “do you wanna ... idk ... eat w me?”

a cheeky smile appears on ten’s face and he just kind of asks,,, “is this a date, y/n?”

“idk do you want it to be?”

“tbh yeah”

“yay bc me too”

yall are just two cuties who like eating together outside of the convenience store

nd when you have your swim meet ten is the loudest cheerer in the crowd

when your team wins he runs up and kisses you in front of everyone!!!! bc he’s extra!!!! nd doyoung chides him for it bc you have to go get your award but ten doesn't care!!!!

anyway yeah that's friends to lovers ten

:’)

the end

[unravelling-the-world]

I was trying my best, and another friend who always took pictures of us (we took pics of him as well dw) documented all of those moments, i even used a not-permanent spray color hair for that day just so the pictures could be special. I didn't particularly like myself, I never did ,but I was too busy to think about it. When i went out, i felt decent at least. Binder, thick under-eye red/black liner, just the perfect e-boy look i wanted. I felt that, as a pre-hrt person, I was looking as masc as I could while doing the style that makes me comfortable and I want to achieve. I was doing my best everytime we went out to look presentable in the pictures, and I did well 9/10 times. At some point, there was a light festival as well. I went with one friends and my cousin and we had fun. My friend and I took pictures, my cousin didn't want hers taken but we still interacted a lot and had fun, I loved the pics of that day. I never got to post them, because my downfall came soon after. At that point in time, I was finally living the dream. I posted frequently on ig (bc i went out frequently) and even though i wasn't anyone big, no partnerships or anything, not even 1k followers, I was growing, and having been intoxicated by fame at age 12, it was just what I needed. My posts started getting 70 likes on average and 7-10 comments, i only had 500 followers but they were growing at an average of 20 followers/month. A lil tween reached out to me and told me he thought I was really cool and was my fan. Bro, that was awesome. Things were moving forward, and altough i felt afraid of the future, I was working on it all. I was making progress in other aspects as well,having come out formally recently and with help from my psychologist, we were going to start looking into hrt, and i just couldn't believe it. I only have read fast and short info. I never really wanted to inform myself more because deep within me I was just afraid I'd never be able to get it and get my hopes up for nothing. We appointed a session to talk about that. This was march, and at my house, we watched a Japanese channel (because we are all interested in Japanese culture and such) So I knew the coronavirus was coming. They started talking about it since the start, in december, obviously, because they are way closer to where the virus started so it spread faster there. I remember it was on a cruise first. I knew it would eventually arrive here, so through all summer i told my mother "it's only a matter of time." I knew it'd come. March was here, and the last time i went out with my friends came along. Inside my head, I felt like I knew that was the last time. I had thoughts about "I wonder if i'll ever get to see a sight like this again". I managed to take some pictures, because,inside me, I knew that was the last time. I wanted to preserve the memory of it. I didn't want to forget. At the time, with a friend, who took the same metro line as me but lives further away, since it was just us two, when saying goodbye we'd always say "see you in five minutes" (like in endgame, because i told her the whole movie and told her when they said that and then black widow died) and she LAUGHED so hard and it became an ongoing joke between us (we are both kinda suicidal ngl but we just laugh abt it.) We said it that day as well, but we actually never saw each other again lmao

At that point, in the country, there were about 4 covid cases. Only 1 in the capital, so it had started, but was only just the start. When I got home, i kind of knew that was the last. My classes started, and for two weeks, it was hell on earth. Online,obviously. I got paired up with the guy I hated the most in the entire generation (I only knew half of them, and liked even fewer, but this guy. fuck. i would have killed him. he was awful.) Anyways. Yeah. But at the end, classes got postponed until further notice. So I was now a Neet! For a while, even though coronavirus was getting worse and worse here as everywhere, I was doing good. I was living the introvert dream, and since I have a decent/good relationship with my parents and grandma, life was just great. All around me I saw everyone struggle with quarantine. I was having a blast. Playing sims, watching anime, anything went. Shit was great. Got Gta V for free when epic released it, and had a blast. Got obsessed with obey me for a while. It was all fun.... Met via discord with my friends. Almost daily with certain friends, once in a while with others, but the whole group would be together at least once. It was good, for me. I felt good. I would ocassionally wake up and tell my mother that I was happy, and hug her. I don't think i'd ever done that. I was at peak, and I knew it. Drew a lot, played a lot. Did a lot of things and projects. Everything felt ok...My dysphoria wasn't great during these times (since now i stay in pajamas all day except when I use camara to meet with friends, and obviously I dont wear my binder with my pajamas) But i had so much free time, that I could just ignore it. (I'm good at avoiding things. at running away.)

Classes started June 1st. First day, I had a breakdown. I don't remember why, but I couldn't connect to class. I felt overwhelmed. I don't know and don't like asking for help because i feel useless when I do. So I didn't. Apparently I seemed more upset than I thought, because my dad noticed. When comforted or confronted, I always cry. I can't talk about my feelings without crying. I feel weak for expressing them. Even writing this, i feel the knot in my neck. My dad saw and ended up helping and comforting. I cried a lot. I went to class, but spent the whole 3 hours of class crying. Things were unstable for a while, but I was keeping afloat, I guess. I started feeling like shit, I wasn't happy daily anymore. Online learning felt so distant and so difficult and so different. I don't like change. At least not without expecting it beforehand. So yeah, that ended up taking a toll on my mental health. The downfall started. I was quite busy, but still tried to meet with friends via discord whenever we could. We had some online birthdays, and season 3 of osomatsu san had already been announced. I was looking forward to it so much. I was in pain, but that thought was keeping me going. I started getting worse, mentally. I started isolating myself ocasionally. I have quite long gaps from this period. I can't really recall much of what happened or what it was like. At some point around August-September I was watching 6teen, because my uni decided that starting a semester and compressing it into a trimester was a good idea, and finals were in september, i think. At the time of finals, i was watching 6teen. I didn't wanna finish it, so I started total drama after. I had a week of vacation in September as well, and I think I was OK for the week.

I won't lie. I don't remember october. I only know Osomatsu-san started here bc I waited for it all year long. I regained closer contact with a friend who lives in japan. Halloween also had an online meeting. I cosplayed, and felt good with myself for the night, for the first time in months. But I ended up having a breakdown later that night. A friend who didn't come and had said he'd come ended up arriving very late (2-3AM ish, meeting was at 10PM) He was very drunk. I don't mind. He says he just came to say sorry he didn't come bc he ended up meeting with irls. We tell him it's ok. He disconnects. He reconnects not long after, but we are confused, since that's not his voice. It was his friend who took his phone, a classic party prank. Doesn't matter, it was fun for a bit. This guy is also mad drunk, so talking to him is weird and funny. But shit gets bad for me in a bit. I was using a voice changer, as I usually do online, because Im ashamed of my high pitched voice. But this guy misgenders me, more than once, and also my friend who lives in japan. He doesn't seem to care, and I act like I don't, but it hurts so bad. My other friend who was there at that time corrects him, more than once. I felt thankful to her. I never thanked her afterwards because I didn't know how to bring out that topic without crying. This guy is very drunk though, and altough i doubt he had vile intentions because of the way he phrased it, he insists, that those are womans voices. They talk about it a bit, verbal comebacks. I wanted them to stop. At some point, my friend who lives in Japan leaves bc its lunch time for him. I felt like shit. I just told this other guy "I'm 10" and he dropped the subject, he believed me and the explanation. My friend laughed her ass out, because she thought I said it as a joke. Truth is, that was just a desperate answer to get him to drop the topic. I dont really care if he believed I was 10 or not though. I just wanted it to stop. He jokes with my friend for a bit more. I didn't talk much after, because I felt ashamed. I didn't want to talk ever again. Even now, even with the voice changer, I don't have the confidence I had when I started using it. I have lowered the pitch twice, just in case. My friend left the call a bit later. When she left, I left as well. I was thankful to her though. I don't remember if i cried or not, but it caused me a massive breakdown for about two weeks. I didn't talk online with anyone until my birthday, I think. I didn't tell anyone but my psychologist this.

I don't remember November much either. I know it's my birthday, and I know I came back to tumblr in november. Yall know when. Canon destiel and shit. Tumblr hadn't felt so alive in years. It felt like home. I remember I was having a bad breakdown during that time. I think it was career related. I can't really remember much. The shitshow happening on tumblr Destiel Election actually helped me get better. I remember this only because of a conversation I had with a friend. I started working on christmas decorations as well. December came along, I worked hard on christmas decorations. I played a bit as well, because on some of my classes I just didn't have anything to do lol. Decorations were finished two weeks in advance for christmas. For the first time ever! I was happy. During these times,Nov-Dec lockdowns started easing up a bit. I still can't go out at all though, because I live with my grandmother, so we're supposed to minimize risks. My parents only go out for shopping essentials that can't be bought online. So it's fair and I understand it, but it started becoming hard on mental health. Not because I can't go out, but because my friends start going out. They know I can't go, they don't exclude me, but they know I can't and I also know I can't. I guess in a form, its jealousy. It becomes hard because there's no one to blame. It's no one's fault. I'm not excluded on purpose, but the truth is, I don't want to hear them talk about what they do when they have fun. I've always been insecure. Even when all evidence points otherwise, I still believe, deep inside,they hate me. They wish I weren't in the group and would be better off without me. It gets hard sometimes.

Even though in general December was quite good, it also came with a major breakdown. One of my best friend's bday is in December. Up until then, Me, her, and another friend had been playing league of legends nearly daily. It was toxic sometimes (the game/community, not my friends) but we had fun. I just liked playing together. But that would come to an end as well. My friend celebrated her birthday, and did invite me, but obviously I couldn't go,and she knew this beforehand, so she didn't get mad or anything. She handled the situation very well, wrote on the gc once, and then did a special gc for birthday attendants to talk about details there and such, and reminded friends who asked in the gc to talk in the birthday gc. (this is how i knew, but i think it was well done tbh, i wish they'd just asked in the bday gc instead so i wouldn't have seen it and felt bad about how i couldn't go) My friend also offered to have me as an online guest, like, being in videocall in the computer on the table. like Karen from spongebob ig. the idea was cool, but honestly i felt bad. She celebrates her bday with her gf bc their dates are near, and I just didn't really want to inconvenience them? I mean, her gf is cool and she used to hang out with our group ocassionaly and she was cool and fit in, and it never felt awkward talking to her irl or anything but it's not like she's my friend and honestly I didn't wanna inconvenience her party, and even though I'm sure my friend wouldn't have minded, I didn't want to be an extra inconvenience for her too. I just wanted her to have fun, honestly. But feeling like a burden ended up weighing on my mind. This caused a bad bad breakdown, beforehand I had started to become better,little by little, but these two weeks waiting for that event to happen felt like a nightmare to me. I didn't tell anyone. I think i wrote it about here once. Around this time, an account on instagram called "matsunoadvice" got reccomended to me, and Oh boy Have I gone to them for advice. Of course, I sent them a message at the time, desperate for someone to talk to, because I couldn't tell anyone about this, because all my other friends know each other kinda and i didn't wanna inconvenience everyone. I didn't want anyone to know i felt like shit. I felt thankful to my friend, because she did try her best to include me, I just didn't really wanna inconvenience anyone. I guess I'd rather suffer alone myself than being a pain in the ass for someone else. After all, I've accepted that I'm alone long ago, and since now there's nothing I can do to maintain my social relationships now,I may as well just accept that theyre ending now. I kind of isolated myself for those two weeks, sometimes i would still connect on discord, but it always felt kind of distant. I stopped playing league of legends around this time.

I still hadn't confirmed to my friend if i was virtually going or not. Truth is, i kind of knew I probably wouldn't want to go in the end, bc im Like That™ But i told her in advance that i'd let her know the date of the event early in the day because of how unstable I am and I wouldn't actually be sure until the day (which was true when I told her) So the day of the event i told her that I was thankful but I wouldn't be assisting virtually and told her to have a great day! She replied okay in a nice way as she always did. I don't think she seemed weirded out by my answer. I hope she didn't feel bad, because she's very empathetic so I hope she didn't think about me at all that day. I hope she never reads this, and even if she does, she didn't really do anything wrong and handed the situation the best she could, the pain was unevitable for me due to the situation. beforehand i had also had a similar breakdown though, because 3 friends who i was/am? still very close to started meeting each other to skate together. I don't know how to skate/have never skated and obviously can't go either way, and sometimes they'd talk about it in the vc. I remained calm always until the call ended,but I did cry about it late at night. It's selfish, of course, but when no one saw anyone, it was easier. we were all the same. But now it felt like they were all moving on without me. In a way, it's what I always wanted, but I always wished to die first. I know it's not sane, but i'd imagined situations like that in my head, where I die and then everyone moved on and it made me feel calmer. But seeing that unfold before my eyes, when i'm still breathing here, i'm still here. It felt lonely. I'm glad they're having fun. I'm just upset I can't do it as well? And it makes me feel like inevitably my relationships with them will break and fall apart and dissapear and they're all still gonna be a interwined network, even though I did everything I could to maintain it because it's all I've ever had outside of my direct family? I didn't make any friends at uni or have a different group of friends so it just...hurt? It still hurts, i'm just more used to it. Also after the bday i did try to connect in vc but it just made me worse, like a friend said like "noo it got too wild honestly u didnt miss anything" and i was like lmao ok but i felt like kinda sad anyways but if i was there i wouldve probably slept through it anyways

...after i felt awful bc i have another friend who is just kinda blunt and kinda dumb when it comes to how others feel, and he was like ohh yeah but after the bday [friend] took us and some of [friends gf's friends] to our houses and since it was early we went to a mcdonalds and it was so fun !! and it was just so uncomfortable bc obviously im glad you have fun but like i dont wanna know??? bc it hurts a fuckin lot???? and my other friend who was also in vc (he was the one w the car) he was like "haha yeaaa it was fun" but he seemed quite uncomfortable talking abt it he could probably tell i didnt wanna hear and ik my other friend only did it bc he's naive not bc he had bad intentions but yeah it sucked i was like haha thats great heh.....like what ya want me to say babe

Christmas arrived and it ended up helping me a lot. Christmas is my favorite holiday and I decorated a month in advance, baked cookies for the first time (with my mom) and we just did a lot of things this year. It made me happy and kept me occupied through the pain (I know i described a lot of pain here but I only paid attention to it at night, which is why it still hurts now probably bc i've had it all repressed) And of course the gifts, honestly I didn't know what to expect because this year I didn't really know what to ask for and just asked for a surprise (because i love receiving things! anything) And my dad definetely outdid himself with all the gifts, I loved them and they're all useful too! I was amazed and i told my friends abt it and it ended up in me talking more in the vc again, and i also started playing genshin impact in late december as well. We also held a secrer santa in the group but not everyone participated (mostly bc of money) but the 4 of us that did was fun! i knew everyone's secret santa bc 2/4 asked to me for help and they were mutual </3 so i knew me and my other friend were mutual too lol but it was cool. I kinda was a bitch a bit though bc he delievered my gift to my home and was going to come a random day and I just wasn't prepared bc I was afraid of seeing him honestly I didn't want to see him and I hoped he wouldn't come? He didn't come that day but he did come some days after, I truly wasn't ready at that point anyway and my mom said we could let him inside if he sanitized, but he came with his mother and didn't get out of the car, we just exchanged the gifts, and honestly I was glad, i was polite and just said hi to both and thanks and all! Obviously i love him a lot bc we're close but idk why i didnt want him to come into my house i just feel like im so boring now and I dont know what we couldve talked abt and honestly ive always been shy but now i just forgot how to socialize and i was terrified so when he didnt get out i was just glad.....well, also

I feel like all of these incidents separated me and my friend who had her birthday on december. Now she wouldn't join the vc or gc often (or say she couldn't, which she usually did before) so I just assumed she hated me, but i didn't really have the guts to ask? She still liked my memes on the gc sometimes but not as she used to, she always used to like every single meme (or nearly all) and she never talked over me (I always get talked over except when I'm drunk bc i become a bit less shy therefore more violent) and would even call others out for me when talked over and always respected everything i told her abt me (Through the years, i've told her some of my deepest shits bc i just trust her like that i dont mind if she knows) but it just felt distant? Also a bit before that, at the start of december we started streaming on twitch, and that week i was very bad I told her i wouldn't play much bc i wasnt doing well but I was up for streaming bc i rly wanted to be professional abt it even if we dont pursue it as a career, but in the end we didnt stream, and fell out of streaming a bit after that. I was kind of afraid to ask her if she wanted to stream again, but we'd talked once and she said she'd finally gotten the cat earphones for the streams (she mentioned she wanted them beforehand) yeah anyways i dont think she actually hates hates me but idk the idea still lingers in my mind

uh yeah also i felt like shit for a bit bc i thought she definetely hated me bc we hadnt talked in a bit and she didnt like my memes anymore so i just assumed the worst, i even listened to break up music (which is what i do when a friendship ends bc altough ive never rly had strong romantic feelings for anyone that kind of song helps me move on after friend breakups too bc no one warns you abt how painful these are) and i cried obviously, but again i never mentioned it to anyone (i made a few vague textposts here though) and just got my shit together even if it hurt? lol, well a bit of time passes and everything seems to go back to normal, i dont remember how she told us but she said she had a job now which is why she didnt connect much and slept earlier and i felt relief lol bc i legit thought she hated me and i felt like shit abt it lol i mean the idea they kinda hate me lingers in my mind all the time but at that point in life i was like. SURE she hated me until that point. now we ocasionally play genshin together but i cant really talk at that time and that also makes me upset bc i do wake up late and im trying to fix my schedule a bit by waking up at 2pm instead of 5 pm but it doesnt even matter bc i play board games with my grandma daily (bc its good for her and its fun i do enjoy it) i just wish we could do it earlier bc lately she gets up at like 9pm and i end up finishing playing at 11/12/1 and its just kinda late to meet w my friends bc i always have smth to do/finish after and i just cant make it in time even if i wake up earlier? lol but i cant change her schedule so theres nothing i can do but cry about it

oh also ik matsunoadvice gave me advice on this but like there's this friend who i love obviously but sometimes he just talks abt his meetings w other friends and like it only makes me angry as fuck and i cant ask him to not bc im too shy but i wish he could stop. and also when he complains abt skate related stuff it makes me unexplainably angry but like i have no reason or right to im just angry bc i cant do that and probably never will bc i doubt ill ever be able to go out again ?? lol. and he even offered like "when we go out again u should come and ill lend u my skate and if u like it u can get one" and honestly its all super nice and i appreciate it and ive thanked him and told him yes but it just makes me feel angry inside bc i dont see an ending with all the mutations and shit and my voice cracks when i tell him haha yeah if we ever meet again bc honestly my youth is already over and i just spent it like a social recluse and i read a post here when i was younger that said like lgbt people spend their teens closeted and ashamed and live their teens in their twenties but now im gonna miss my twenties to the pandemic and then ill be too fucking old and itll be too fucking late and ill have to die and i just never lived bc i still havent even transitioned yet and i doubt ill ever be able to (this also causes me a lot of pain but i will ignore it) and the other day he said like i hope i can see u this year bc i miss u and i just said that honestly ive lost all hope of ever seeing anyone again and my voice cracked and my other friend said something related but not so related and im just glad he talked in bc i didnt rly care i just wanted to change the topic bc i know ill never see them again and eventually probably lose contact and see them all have fun together without me just as if i was dead but just didnt pass away and its difficult but i have to accept it and it hurts a lot now but in 7 years itll be fine, just like i accepted im unlovable and will never have a s/o and when i was 12 that hurt a lot but now it doesnt so someday i will be alone but i hope it doesnt hurt anymore.

this is all a mess and the format is everywhere and theres no timeline i hope no one reads it. if u do read it im sorry. i just honestly been carrying all of this for a while now and i want it out of my system honestly bc i dont know what to do with it and i was on the verge of a breakdown for a minimal thing hours ago i just want all this info out of my brain.....also obv these are only the bad things that have happened/good things that took me out of the hole but a lot of good things happened too lol and i skipped a lot of imp points like i changed careers and shit and also i met a lot of cool mutuals since i got back to tumblr and ososan been carrying my mental health every monday but yeah i just wanted the negatives out of the system. the frustrations and the anger. i hope no one reads this fr its so messy

[shytiff]

Feb 2021 Wins

1 - osce study with clara almira, tryout 9 fkui, tryout review with clar, study sesh with clara that finished at about 10 pm. watched some youtube vids together til 11:15 pm. no longer sleepy, so i made my cv and finished it at about 3 in the morning lmao, bcs i saw this interning opportunity and i was like “damn i should make my cv”

2 - woke up at 7 am, didnt shower lmao, off to kiara for vaccination. Waited for a bit and i finally got it. ate mamdaging pesto rice with beef at kamkan w/ ren ness ara akisyah. talked at studied osce a bit. waited for mom to pick me up. until when do i need someone else to pick me up. i feel helpless and i hate that i cant just ride my motorbike because its too tiring. went back and dad got mad at me bcs i didnt greet him when leaving and entering the house. I truly didnt see him when i entered even though i heard sumn lmao. He said sumn along the lines of "you can always leave if u dont like me" (which is lowkey appealing). I cried bcs i felt sad and annoyed with our terrible emotional parent-daughter relationship. Hold the tears for a bit to study with clara. Darkened the room and slept still in my going-out clothes. I did not shower today lmao,,,,

3 - woke up at 10 am. Tryout and review w clara. Psych coaching. Psych practice with irun. Called lau and dajen bcs hes leving to medan. Randomly checked my email and my intern submission, which i emailed yesterday, that turns out the doctor replied at 8pm yesterday asking for interview today 11 am. And i saw it @ 6 pm. Aka super late. The stupidest thing ive ever done in FKUI. No cap. :( i panicked and it gave me a reason to talk with dad (asking how to reply) so i guess its a form of effort to banish the awkwardness between us. Studied w clara. I hope the doctor can forgive me. Its one loose end after the other lately.

4 - went to starbucks with atikah. got treated matcha latte yayy. cicil osce. called clara to learn imunisasi. went to kaleyo w atikah clara, ate bebek muda cabe ijo yumm. talked abt a lot of things in a span of 1-2 hours. we’re all pragmatist lmaoo. 

5 - osce briefing, DV osce practice w irun, watched run bts again lmaoo since knowing my osce schedule is thursday. read buku osce biru. 

6 - slept and lazed around til 1 pm. went to flavola since the construction was so noisy. osce simulation with UKMPPD Wibu. turns out flavola’s siomay is very fulfilling.

7 - todays construction noise escape is jco. Bought jcool double with almonds and chocolate crunchy. A bit of psych practice w aisyah. After maghrib practiced neuro w irun

8 - had no mood to study in the morning. Went to flavola, kopsusss coklat as usual. Reviewed osce materials (theres some tea about what might come out). Reviewed again at home (even tho i procrastinated from 6-9pm). Asked my bro for some ovo bcs i bought a mini keyboard in tokped lmaoooooo so random

9 - went to merra (ara and nessa’s place) but mom drove dad to the airport first. stome osce study, group consolidation for osce, tried mad bagel (the garlic cream cheese and tuna salad). the bagel was quite dense and fulfilling. the garlic cream cheese is quite heavy. arrived at home by 9 pm, went straight to sleep

10 - omg dr eva contacted me again :”) and i got the chance to be ecmocard research assistant. osce study. line call with ara. matcha latte. studied in juan’s room bcs it was so noisy. the keyboard i ordered arrived lolll cant wait to try. i dont know if its the anxiety or fear but i cant sleep and forced myself to sleep 11pm-ish

11 - osce. Went early to learn sumn more w ara tri. Osce (i forgot opv for the 5 mo old baby in peds station 😭 there was dr yogi omg) prayed zuhur and ashar in merra while waiting for pick up (i rly wish i could just bring my own vehicle but motorbike is rly tiring). Finally tried the mini keyboard, with earphones on. Practiced the song aku bukan untukmu by rossa lmao bu sihar taught us that in 33. I felt rly excited and not sleepy afterwards (that "normal" feeling with nothing looming). Its been a while since i tried something new, voluntarily. I guess its kind of what i felt when i tried the korean duolingo. That lasted for a couple months. Lets see how this keyboard thingy goes

12 - finally finished reviewing to oneshot (took ages lmao). Lazed around

13 - inten ukmppd w ness ren ara @ merraaa always. Went through 5 pdfs. Tried fastfit chicken burger and sweet potato fries. Quite fulfilling. Went back home and straight to bed (didnt eat anymore)

14 - started my day late as usual on weekdays lmaoo. flavola kopsus coklat as usual at my usual seat facing the window. did padi final tryout, score: 69. booty call with fianti, did mindset tryout, got 76,5.

15 - lazed tilll i start my day as usual @ 11-ish. Reviewed to padi final answers. Wow it sure took some damn time. My attention span is rly horrible when im alone in my room

16 - second dose of vaccine today. the rain was POURING. mom and emir waited in mcd. read half of aipki citation. 

17 - finished aipki citation, read CBT 2020 batch I and 2019 batch III questions. read a fantastic slow burn dramione fic. reviewed the last to solid.

18 - accompanied clara for swab antigen near airport train station (we came with motorbike since clara’s car was used). got called over by the police bcs we were in the car-only road lmaooo. went over optima tryout 2021. 

19 - cicil ukmppd at flavola with the usual menu, read some more afterwards

20 - ended up going to tamel bcs the flood in tb simatupang toll. Stayed w nessa and henny. Ate garlic carbonara spaghetti by bittersweet najla. Quite good for the price. Went over mediko questions with nessa and first session citation. Atikah sent some krispy kreme donuts 🥺🥺

21 - woke up at 4 bcs henny and nessa already did. Ate cold kanayam for bfast. Did ukmppd. I flagged quite a lot of questions huaa. I hope i can pass, aamiin. Went to tamel to get stuff (nebeng oca uye), climbed jembor to get to akis et al. Went to aeon (super crowded tffff), followed by ikea (parked at decathlon). Ate at both places (shared portion w kris lmaoo we get full quick). Aeon sushi and ikea meatball. So fulll. Went out of ikea to be briefed by dr Debby (ecmocard) and put my stuff to mom's car. Went in ikea again. And finally we went back. such a good sleep yall

22 - relaxed and i mean RELAXXXED. woke up and slept again. showered to prepare to go to harkit for intern briefing. i was late (thanks daan mogot road) and had to grabbike from untar. put on some sheet mask (natrep rose) bcs im realizing i need to fix my face and look decent for this new environment lmaoo.

23 - left home at 7 am, went through highway (i aint repeating daan mogot tragedy again). walked a bit backwards bcs the hightway exit was infront of dharmais. super slow progress on entering medical datas. took half a day to get one. and another half for the other. ate marugame udon, somay, chicken katsu and otak otak. we finished after maghrib and im writing this while waiting for mom

24 -  tried salted egg dori rice from salt inc. its quite salty and eneg inducing (a bit more than eatlah), but for the price (19k after cashback) i wont complain. Went back home before maghrib but there was still some medical record stuff i did in my room.

25 - magang as usual. Tried chicken egg salad from salad hut. Bought ice french hazelnut coffee from lawson coz i just cant take it anymore (the slump and sleepyness). I feel like the moment that sugary beverage enters my system i rise like a freshly watered plant. First meeting with dr eva and the others

26 - felt so tired even in the morning. Its 9 am and im already ordering janjiw coffee (with hazelnut and milo, quite sweet. Like a mix of kopiko and milo). Slow progress today i dunno why. Lunch is nayam rica2 and egg for 21k. Went back home by tj and mom picked me at gajah 2

27 - i hate to say this but bcs for 5 days now ive been fighting sleeping instincts, i snap out of sleepiness easier in the morning. Nasi uduk for brekkie. Moved some stuff up bcs the noise, played keyboard. Learned the (difficult) chords to tyler's see you again and im feeling satisfied. Went to racheel's place. Got fed chicken noodle. And then off to silvi's with devi also. Got fed chicken rice and dimsum. Thanks to friends im eating superwell today🥺

28 - relaxed at home. Skipped breakfast bcs i fell asleep and ate heartily in the afternoon. Evening run w racheel at citra 6

[markhycks]

markhyuck au where

mark is a real estate agent trying to sell a house that has been unoccupied for years but donghyuck (the ghost who haunts it) won’t let him. warning: very long post / aged up!markhyuck 

—- i wrote this bc i had to get this out of my system - yall can keep scrolling if u dont like markhyuck !! ALSO i have z e r o clue how the real estate industry works so this is probably super inaccurate

ok so:

no one wants to buy this property bc its apparently haunted by a ghost

mark thinks thats just stupid

hes just trying his very best n rly wants a promotion !!

so his boss (obviously taeil bc we love a moon taeil managing a real estate business) offers to give a raise n promotion to anyone that can sell the house bc the last dude that tried to got so close but the couple pulled out last min after hearing abt the rumours

mark thinks he is aBSOLUTELY FULLY CAPABLE of selling this house so he tells his boss he wants to give it a shot

taeils like r u sure you’ve only been working here for 6 months

n mark lee’s all hell yea i got this thats why rumours around the world are saying mark is abs-

so boss man’s like aight ill leave this task to you 

everyone else in the office is all :000000

sicheng the cute intern is all ARE YOU SURE ABT THIS MARK in his broken chinese n he’s all cute and worried and its the first time the others have heard him speak this much

jaehyun his bff in the office is like good luck man bc he once tried selling it too but whimped out after encountering so called ghost

so anyways mark has to go inspect the property the next day

he gets given the keys yadda yadda

when he turns up to the house (which, mind you, is a very nice house located on the outskirts of town by a little lake) and opens the door he hears a loud “WHO GOES THERE”

and mARK FREAKS TF OUT

like he legit jumps n he’s pretty sure he almost peed himself n hes sso oso scared but then he remembers his mission and that he’s not going to turn out like the rest and he w I L L sell this house 

so he loosens his tie with a d e t er m i n e d face and enters the home

“whos there!! show yourself!” 

he thinks he sounds pretty fierce but it actually came out a quiet squeak

anyways it’s silent for a bit and mark’s like super wary as he closes the door behind him

“LEAVE THIS HOUSE IMMEDIATELY!!!” and suddenly theres a picture frame thrown at the wall

mark panics again and he’s so close to running out but he stays determined!!! bc!! fully capable mark!!

“no i have to sell this house and i won’t leave until i do so!!”

and it just goes silent again until the voice speaks up again

“who are you”

“i, um. mark?”

“you sound unsure”

“well. i mean, would you kill me for being a little nervous? jheesh”

he looks around. where is the voice even coming from? it projects through the entire house like its on speaker

mark’s not sure where he got this sudden confidence from but he feels a lot less scared than before so he just loosens his tie and walks around the house with his clipboard, doing his lil inspection

the ghost? spirit? whatever it is doesn’t say anything and mark just shrugs and carries on with his business and before he knows it an hour has already passed

“hey spirit” he calls out

and it’s like silent for ages

so he just shrugs and he’s about to leave when

“you can’t sell this house. it’s mine”

and mark just stops at the door and he can’t help but feel a lil sad at the spirit’s sad tone bc it probably has like so many memories in the house and it probably hasn’t crossed over or whatever (he’s not sure how the whole supernatural thing works but he’s watched ghost whisperer before)

the last thing mark says before he leaves is “i’ll be back tomorrow and you better be gone”

he thinks he hears the spirit scoff but maybe its just his ears

honestly mark has a hard time believing all of this and he goes to bed that night wondering h o w he’s going to deal with this situation

anyway mark turns up the next day and this time the spirit doesn’t seem as hostile 

that being said it continues to threaten mark and starts moving objects around

but honestly mark (and his newfound confidence) only rolls his eyes as makes a list of the repairs that need to be done (bc deep down he doesnt believe any of this is actually happening)

so they fall into a routine

mark keeps coming back and the spirit keeps threatening him

sometimes it tries to sabotage his work by moving things around 

mark’s gotten so used to it that he literally just sighs like “give it back”

the spirit actually listens to him and does

eventually they start talking more 

mark’s found out the spirit’s name is donghyuck but that’s all the information he knows 

he thinks it’d be inappropriate to ask stuff like “oh so how did u die” so they just end up having the most random conversations

“make sure you paint the hallway walls blue. the mustard yellow is so outdated”

“you’ll leave and let me sell the house if i paint them blue?”

“i never said that”

and mark ends up spending more time at the house than necessary

so one day jaehyun pulls him aside at work n he’s all “dude??? are u ok? you’re hardly in the office these days”

and mark’s like “yeah man u know its just the repairs for the house they’re taking ages”

jaehyun is suspicious but shrugs it off and tells him to be careful

taeil asks how the task is going and mark suddenly gets all nervous for no reason bc HOW IS THE TASK GOING??? he doesnt even know


he just gives another casual response n says the house should be ready soon for him to start bringing in clients

taeil just pats his back and wishes him good luck

when mark finishes work that evening he literally feels so down bc he literally had one j o b but here he is being all chummy with a ghost that haunts this house and its all just so messed up in his head

he doesnt know what makes him do it but that evening he ends up going to the house

“someone’s working the night shift”

mark just blinks in confusion at the words because what the heck. he’s meant to be here for work and this isn’t work so w h y is he here at 7pm on a friday???

instead he just takes a seat on the floor by the wall in the empty living area and sighs like a sad puppy

“what’s the matter?” donghyuck asks and his voice sounds genuinely concerned??? if anything it scares mark a bit

“who - no. what are you?” he finally asks

and then there’s silence

it’s literally like that for almost an hour before mark asks again

“are you like some kind of ghost? spirit? do you need help crossing over? i just. i really need you to leave and you’re not making my job any easier and i’m so confused and half of me doesn’t even believe any of this is real”

silence

it almost convinces mark that he really is going mad because there’s no such thing as ghosts and he’s just talking to an empty house

until a quiet voice says

“i’m neither of those”

mark feels so, so confused and he just ruffles his hair in frustration

“then what are you?”

“what’s your favorite color?”

he’s taken aback by the question 

nonetheless, he responds with a quiet “green”

“green is disgusting. red is better”

“red is literally the color of the devil i’m guessing thats what you are”

he’s expecting an angry remark but instead he’s met with soft laughter and all mark can do is smile in return

he ends up spending the night at the house talking to donghyuck all night

it’s a saturday the next day and mark is so co n f u s  e d when he wakes up to the smell of pancakes?

he follows the smell and finds a plate of pancakes sitting at the table with a note “i’m assuming you never ate dinner last night. eat up - D”

mark thinks he’s living in a dream bc did a ghost just?? COOK for him??

reality at this point has become so warped in his mind that he doesn’t care anymore and he starts eating

he hears laughter 

“calm down youre eating as if its your last day on earth” 

he sticks up a middle finger at no one in particular, hoping donghyuck will see it from wherever he is, and he’s only met with more laughter

when he’s finished eating and rinses his plate (which he has no idea where it came from) he’s thinking about what donghyuck said to him last night about not being a ghost

“donghyuck”

“mark”

for a brief moment he’s startled. it’s the first time donghyuck’s said his name and he’s not sure how he feels about it. if anything, the tips of his ears growing red must indicate a positive sign 

“what ar- i mean. how do yo- no. what do you look like?”

silence

he runs a hand through his hair with a frustrated sigh before leaving the house again

he doesn’t return for another week

when mark comes back, he’s with a client

mr johnny seo and his boyfriend chittaphon seem extremely keen in the property and want to move in despite hearing rumors about a ghost

mark doesn’t know whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing

johnny and chittaphon are into that buzzfeed unsolved kind of shit and run their own vlog series on youtube and theyre just e c s t a t i c that they might be moving into a haunted house

mark thinks theyre weird as shit but he wants that promo

donghyuck probably doesn’t mind sharing anyway

when he thinks back to donghyuck he feels a pang in his chest and dare he say it, he misses them? 

anyways

mark takes the couple back to the house and he feels weird

he can’t pinpoint what’s wrong but he just feels strange inside his chest

there are two things he’s learnt about johnny and chittapon:

one, they cant keep their hands off each other

and two, they can’t stop filming every waking moment of their lives

so when they’re following him to the house with their giant ass camera and chittaphon’s giggles, mark can only roll his eyes as he inserts the key 

but the door won’t open

mark’s confused - he hadn’t come back to change the locks so why won’t the key fit?

he feels slightly flustered in the presence of the couple and their camera and he laughs nervously

they must feel pretty bad for him because they laugh nervously too

mark tries again but to no avail and sighs in frustration when it hits him: donghyuck - this was clearly his doing 

mark clears his throat awkwardly before turning back to the couple “i’m sor-”

“LEAVE AT ONCE”

johnny and chittaphon jump back, eyes wider than saucers while mark has to c o n t a i n himself from rolling his eyes at donghyuck’s ~scary voice~

he half expects the couple to run away but instead johnny only begins to roll the camera once again and there’s a look of nervous excitement on chittaphon’s face

mark turns to the door once again and hisses “donghyuck open the door”

he hopes the couple haven’t heard him but judging by the looks on their faces, they have

“LEAVE MY HOME AT ONCE BEFORE I CURSE YOU AND YOUR FAMILIES”

and mark can only snort

johnny looks absolutely f a s c i nat e d by this point and mark groans internally before beginning to knock on the door

“donghyuck not cool just open the damn d o o r before i break it down”

there’s silence and mark takes it as his cue to try unlocking the door with his set of keys again 

it works and he allows the couple to enter

donghyuck attempts to scare the trio a few times during mark’s tour of the house by moving things around - causing johnny to drop his camera at one point and chittaphon to curse at him for bringing it because its probably broken now

anyway the tour goes t e rr i b ly 

mark is pissed

he’s not sure what johnny and chittaphon are feeling

when he sees the couple off he just shuts the door angrily and donghyuck just g i g g le s 

“what the fuck man did u have to do that?”

“i told you to leave”

“and i told you to leave. what is even your problem???” 

at this point mark’s just yelling and donghyuck doesnt seem to care tbh

there are a few more clients he tries to bring that week and the week after

they all go awfully thanks to donghyuck and by the end of the fourth week mark is on the verge of giving up

donghyuck on the other hand seems to be having way too much fun 

“can you just like, stop?” mark sighs 

he’s very very tired at this point and he’s considering giving the keys back to taeil and telling him he can’t do it

he’s picks up his blazer that he’d taken off earlier and is about to leave when he hears a 

“where are you going?”

mark just releases the loudest snort before turning to the empty walls of the house and raising a brow at nothing in particular

“are you kidding me? i’m done. congrats donghyuck you get to keep your damn house”

donghyuck doesn’t say anything 

- when mark shakes his head and turns to open the front door 

it won’t open

“very funny, donghyuck. open it so i can leave”

he’s met with silence a g a i n so he pulls the keys out of his pocket 

“wait!”

he whips his head around in confusion bc its the first time he’s heard donghyuck speak in such a desperate tone

he feels his ears growing red again

“uh.. yes?”

there’s a couple seconds of silence before donghyuck speaks in a quiet voice

“you asked me what i was right?”

mark just scoffs bc why is he even having this conversation at this point

he decides to answer anyway 

“like every day but sure”

“go to the loft” 

mark spends a few seconds contemplating whether he really should or not

he follows his gut instinct and makes his way to the loft

he’s only actually been up to the loft once just because it takes forever to get up there 

when he climbs up the ladder and looks around at the empty space he shrugs

“well?”

“go up to the bookshelf on the far left”

mark feels like a child being directed right now but he follows the instructions anyway

he feels slightly nervous and a part of him wants to escape

its congested up here and he can feel the back of his neck grow sweaty like he’s been waiting for this moment for ages!!!

a part of him wants to run out of the house as quick as possible he’s not even sure what hes expecting

“now um.. move that red book on the end”

mark’s hand is s h a k i ng at this point and he slowly does what hes been told

suddenly????? the bookshelf starts moving 

and then it hits mark

its a fake bookshelf thats actually meant to be a revolving door

mark is literally about to collapse bc he doesnt know whats waiting for him on the other side 

when the door finally reaches the other side all he can do is stare

he feels like he’s in a different world, standing in the loft which resembles an open space apartment, with a tiny window and a mini kitchen on the side, a door which leads to what he assumes is a bathroom and a small bed

but that’s not what catches mark’s attention

standing in front of him is the most b e a u t i f u l boy he’s ever seen in his entire life

he doesn’t look much younger than mark himself, slightly shorter with dark red hair, golden skin and the biggest chocolate brown eyes he’s seen on a person

mark doesn’t know how to react 

his mouth goes dry and the boy looks so frightened standing there in his own vicinity that mark’s afraid he’ll disappear if he touches him

“donghyuck?”

clearing his throat in an all too familiar voice, the boy speaks

“that would be me”

mark passes out

when he wakes up a while later, he’s on an unfamiliar bed and he looks around with narrowed eyes - realising that it wasn’t a dream and donghyuck is in fact a human living in a loft

mark looks around at the place and his jaw drops when he sees the wall opposite the bed is fULL of screens capturing cctv like images of almost every corner of the house

there are about three computer screens at the desk and mark is baffled

it looks like the bedroom of a teenage hacker 

“oh good you’re up. i thought you were dead” donghyuck says, walking over to him from the kitchen with a plate of food

mark sits up slowly, his head is aching and hearing donghyuck’s voice like this, so clear, so close to him, so soft - he thinks he’ll pass out again

he feels himself growing warm when donghyuck takes a seat beside him on the bed, putting the plate on his lap before getting up

before he can, mark grabs his wrist “wait”

“you probably have a lot of questions” donghyuck speaks over him

“well, yeah”

“eat up we’ve got all night” donghyuck says

mark hasn’t even made eye contact with the other boy yet because he can’t bring himself to

donghyuck is intimidatingly beautiful 

“i- what time is it?”

“9. you were out for hours”

“it’s been a long day” mark shrugs, taking a bite of the surprisingly good food donghyuck managed to cook up

so it turns out donghyuck’s family were the owners of the house but he’d been left an orphan as a teenager

in order to avoid being taken into social care, he made his own living space up in the loft so no one would find him - once he’d turned 18 they stopped looking for him and using his intelligent brain, he’d conjured up all the right devices to make it seem like the home was haunted by the ghosts of his family members

mark is baffled by the end of the explanation

“but the things moving around the house..”

“ever heard of remote controlled toys and simple physics?”

mark nods slowly and donghyuck just shrugs casually 

later on donghyuck shows mark how he’d managed to keep up this strange lifestyle of his

he also finds out that donghyuck is not much younger than himself like he’d predicted - there are only a few months separating them

mark ends up spending the weekend at donghyuck’s place

when it’s sunday night and mark’s getting ready to leave, donghyuck actually walks him up the front door

it feels weird to say the least - hearing donghyuck’s voice like this and not projecting through the speakers he had hidden behind the walls

he doesn’t want to admit it to himself, but donghyuck’s voice is sweeter than honey and he feels like melting every time the younger speaks to him in a quieter tone

“hey donghyuck” he says, once he reaches the door and turns to the younger

“hm?”

“you ever thought about just.. buying the house?”

donghyuck lets out a laugh

mark finds it condescending

“do you think i have the money to do that?”

“well since you’ve managed to maintain it so well - yeah” it turns out donghyuck does weird internet jobs from home where he gets paid a shit ton of cash through his online services - mark thinks its illegal but doesn’t want to say anything

donghyuck shoots him an amused smile and shakes his head 

just as mark pulls the handle of the door, there’s a warm hand on his and all he can do is gulp as he meets donghyuck’s nervous eyes

“you won’t still try to sell it.. right?”

mark remembers his outburst a few days ago and he sends the younger a sympathetic smile, shaking his head slowly “i won’t”

“thanks” and then donghyuck’s hand is gone

mark lowkey feels sad at the loss of warmth but it returns when donghyuck asks him in the most v u l ne r a b l e voice

“will you be back?”

“i don’t know”

mark tries to ignore the heartbroken expression on donghyuck’s face while he’s driving home that night

the next morning at work mark feels miserable 

mainly because it’s a monday but also bc of donghyuck

he’s just so conflicted and he doesnt know what to do

when he’s on his break and passes by taeil’s office, he hears taeil talking to one of his co-workers nakamoto yuta, a guy who transferred to the company a few months before mark joined

they’re talking about the house and most importantly they’re talking about mark

“boss just give me the house i’ll do it - i’ve already got a couple people i know who would be willing it purchase it despite the current situation”

“yuta you very well know this is mark’s-”

“boss it’s been over a month now and he’s scared off all his clients. please?”

there’s a pause before he hears a “alright. i’ll talk to mark tomorrow”

mark just p a n i c s because all he can think about is donghyuck

that night mark drives back to donghyuck’s place and the door is already open for him

“you came back” donghyuck sounds breathless - like he just ran down from the loft 

- mark sees sparkles in his eyes and his stomach does a backflip

“i came back” he repeats, the smile on his face growing

when he’s later sat down on donghyuck’s bed, eating the leftovers from the dinner donghyuck’s just made, mark explains his work situation to him

the younger boy nods, trying desperately not to let the sadness show on his face but fails

“hey” mark says, bringing a hand to the younger’s cheek

it’s weird but neither of them say anything

donghyuck thinks mark has the softest!! hands

“i won’t let them sell it” he says in the s o f t e s t voice and donghyuck wants to melt

instead he just scoffs and shrugs mark’s hand away

“if anything, i won’t let them sell it” he says and mark laughs

deep down they both know it’s not selling the house that’s the issue at hand; it’s mark not having an excuse to keep coming back

the atmosphere is weird and tense when mark leaves that evening

donghyuck walks him down to the door again and mark has the urge to hold has hand and tell him it’ll b ok 

just as mark’s about to get into his car donghyuck calls for him 

when mark turns around donghyuck is suddenly !! in his arms!! and wow! soft and warm donghyuck!! 

about a hundred alarm bells go off in mark’s head and his heart is POUNDING but all he does is bring his arms around the younger boy and tighten the hug

when mark arrives at his own place he thinks that donghyuck doesn’t just sound like honey, but smells sweet like it too

he decides honey is his favorite smell

the next day at work mark isn’t surprised when yuta greets him enthusiastically in the morning

he also isn’t surprised when both he and yuta are called into taeil’s office

mark has to act fast - he can’t let yuta take this from him

he’s been up all night thinking about this, thinking about donghyuck

so when taeil’s about to speak up, mark cuts him off:

“boss i want to purchase the property for myself”

both taeil and yuta’s jaws drop and he’s pretty sure he hears jaehyun gasp from outside the door - the office wasn’t exactly a large place

 “you want to do what”

“yes. i’ve thought this through and yeah. as a customer, i want to buy it. i’ve already spent so much time at it it practically already feels like home” donghyuck feels like home

“i’ve already thought about selling my place for a while now anyway - and i don’t think anyone else would be more willing to buy this house more than i am”

taeil and yuta stay silent 

eventually taeil agrees but hands over the property to yuta to sell to mark

when they all come to a deal or whatever mark is dragged aside by jaehyun

“is this why you spent so long there? you wanted it for yourself?” poor bb he is so confused 

mark just smiles and nods “yeah, guess i did”

mark doesn’t return to the house for another few days - he’s gotta tell his parents about his abrupt decision to sell his place and purchase a new one

since he lives in a different town from his parents, they offer to come with his younger brother jisung to help with the move out - he tells them its ok and that he has lots of helping hands here and he’ll call them over when he’s settled in

mark heads to the house towards the end of the week, the contract behind his back as he unlocks the door with his keys

“hey spirit - come out wherever you are!” he calls out playfully

to his surprise donghyuck’s already on his way down - trying not to smile at the sight of the man in front of him

“mark lee”

“donghyuck” he says, unable to contain his excitement as he holds up the paper in front of the younger 

donghyuck squints at it, confused for a moment before his eyes widen

“YOU DID WHAT?????////”

“i bought this house!” 

donghyuck doesn’t know whether he should laugh or cry

“what the hell you just bought my house?!”

mark’s slightly confused bc he thought donghyuck would be happy

donghyuck looks like he’s abt to burst into tears and mark the awkward turtle starts panicking again

“i - i thought it would be better than a random person buying it??” 

“nO because a random person would never buy this house for as long as im alive and now yOU just came out of nowhere and TOOK POSSESSION OF IT??!?!?” 

donghyuck’s a lil mad bc he feels like the house is all he’s got and now its gone and he’s mad at himself for letting his guard down in front of mark and getting so attached to mark and falling for mark and he doesn’t even realise he’s saying this all aloud until mark stares at him with wide eyes

“you what?”

silence

“you do realise not saying anything won’t work anymore since i can actually see you now, right?” 

silence

“donghyuck”

there’s a quiet mumble “sowhatifilikeyou”

mark feels like he’s about to comBUST

donghyuck’s face is literally the color of a tomato and he just shrinks and he’s so cute mark wants to kiss him

so he does

donghyuck’s lips taste like the warmth of the summer, the confused and nervousness of their feelings, but most importantly they taste sweet - just like honey, just like donghyuck

when mark parts from the kiss first, donghyuck’s fingers curl softly into the material of his shirt, he presses his forehead against the younger’s 

“i’m sorry i did this all without telling you - i just. i did what i felt was right. this feels right, donghyuck. being with you feels right.” mark’s just so nERVOUS and half of what he says comes out so shaky until donghyuck responds quietly

“i want to be with you”

mark wants to pass out

this time however, he doesn’t

anyways~~

time skip a couple of weeks 

donghyuck moves out from the loft and they settle into the house properly

after much insistence donghyuck removes the cameras from around the house except for the exterior and they turn one of the spare bedrooms into a little study for donghyuck where he can do his “illegal business” 

mark suggests him getting out a bit more and donghyuck reluctantly agrees 

mark takes donghyuck out on dates to the movie theatre and out for breakfast

donghyuck is so nervous in public and is practically glued to mark’s side the whole time it’s adorable

they’re both living so d om e s t i ca l ly its sickening

at mark’s housewarming he tells his family and friends that he met donghyuck through tinder

jaehyun doesn’t believe him bc donghyuck’s voice sounds so familiar but he doesn’t know where from - he chooses to drop it though bc the couple in front of him look so happy so he goes to bother sicheng

~~ 

“hey loser” donghyuck walks out from his study room one sunday afternoon when mark’s on the couch watching tv

“yeah??” mark lowers the volume

“cough up your rent for the month - we gotta pay the water bill cause your fatass won’t stop showering every two minutes”

mark almost chokes on his spit

“me?” 

donghyuck nods, flopping down to take a seat beside him

“idk if you’ve noticed but im the owner of this house if anything you should be coughing up rent”

donghyuck snorts “owner in name. we all know who this house rly belongs to”

mark gives him the stink eye “listen you little shi-mph”

before he can begin his string of insults donghyuck’s already climbed onto his lap and his lips are on mark’s

and they live happily ever after !!!!

[stanmxm]

im youngmin as a prince

this is my first time doing this bear with me please-- it’s also hellaaa long so i put it under the cut to save those who dont want to scroll past the whole thing lol

is highly highly highly respected and loved by everyone in his kingdom

hes so sweet to all his people like he’ll go out of his way to check on them and make sure they’re all doing well bc he loves his kingdom so much

even sent christmas cards and extra food to all the households in the town during the holidays like WHAT A SWEETHEART

anyways

he loves his kingdom so deeply you can imagine how on edge he becomes when his dad is suddenly ill and about to pass

bc now it’s time for youngmin to step in as king and like?? he’s nOT READY

but he can’t let his kingdom NOT have a king like his people need a leader-- and his mother bless her but she doesn’t really have leadership skills rip so youngmin is their only hope

BUT he’s not married.. he can barely talk to girls lmao but it’s against royal law (?) to become a king without a queen so

that’s where you come in

your family is more into the whole “TAKE ALL THE POWER” part of royalty so they really really want to take some control of as many kingdoms as possible

but brand new kingdom (SHOOT ME) (that’s youngmin’s kingdom btw) is way too big and powerful to overtake so what better way to gain some power than to give away their daughter aka you amirite

word gets around pretty fast that youngmin is looking for a wife so they ship you off HELLA QUICK LIKE YOU’RE OFF ON A HORSE BEFORE U CAN BLINK THEY’RE WAVING AND SHIT LIKE “GO GET U THAT MAN BRING US BACK A RICH POWERFUL HEIR”

ur mad the whole way there like tf what if you don’t like youngmin he could be an asshole

needless to say that when you get there he is in fact an asshole lol

there are a bunch of girls there tryna marry him i dont blame them like bitch sign me up and he just lines them up and is scanning them up and down

and ur like??? until he stops and says “mary’s dad has four children, three of them are named monday, tuesday, and wednesday; what’s the fourth child’s name?”

and now ur like ??????? wtf is he doing

until some girl on the opposite end of u yells all confidently with a really loud voice “thursday!!” and you just

you try to keep ur mouth shut and be nice but you just

“dumbass the fourth child is mary”

you realize that you swore and it was hella disrespectful so you open your mouth to apologize until

“find her a dress. i’m marrying that one.” youngmin points straight to you and says before walking out and you’re like wHAT

within a few days all your stuff is unpacked (into your own room bc youngmin wont let you near his) and you’ve had a wedding and get settled in as the new queen of brand new kingdom

all the while youngmin hasn’t said word to you? the only thing that you’ve heard leave his mouth since you were chosen was “i do” and das it

a few weeks pass and still, nothing from youngmin. the most he gives you is glares as you pass each other and requests for you to sign documents regarding the kingdom and stuff

but in the meantime you have gotten to know his mother who LOVES you and catches you up on the kingdom, how things work, what the people are like, and she even gave you a tour of the town once so you could meet everyone

you want to ask her some things about youngmin but figure it’s not your place.. so you go to the people instead LMAO

you visit a few families and shops and they all say the same thing: that youngmin is extremely sweet and warmhearted and that they’re all so blessed to have him as their king

you’re just like?? we’re talking abt the same youngmin right lol

one day you visit this little old lady’s florist shop in the corner of town and speak with her a little bit

she tells you that since spring season just started, you should prob look out a bit for youngmin bc his allergies start acting up then hands you a bouquet of periwinkle flowers and says

“these are his favorite and they don’t make him sick, can you give them to him for me and tell him to take care of himself? he must be awfully tired”

YOUR HEART IS CRYING OF COURSE YOU GOTTA GO GIVE HIM THE FLOWERS FOR THE CUTE ELDERLY LADY

that night you reluctantly go to youngmin’s office

you creek the door open just a bit to see him tugging at his hair as he looks over paperwork, obviously stressed over something

you clear your throat and knock on the door, causing youngmin to look up at you but he seems to just get more upset lol

“can i help you?” he has this really cold tone and ur like shit who put ur panties in a twist

“i visited mrs.kim this afternoon-”

“at the florist shop?”

“uh yeah, her, and she asked me to give these to you” you pull the flowers from behind the door and youngmin’s mood went 0 to 100 REAL QUICK

it’s like all the angry washed away from his face and his eyes just light up and he’s all smiley HE’S SO PRECIOUS

“periwinkles! those are my favorite- i can’t believe she remembered!” he happily stands and takes the flowers from you as you step into the middle of the room

“she asked me to tell you that you should take care of yourself” youre trying not to look him in the eye cause even tho he was being cute af you know he can be scary

youngmin’s smile starts to frown and now he’s pouting WHAT A CUTE BABY and he’s like “i haven’t visited her at all since i’ve become king. i haven’t visited ANY of my people”

he grabs one of the chairs closest to him and sits down, putting his head in his hands after setting the flowers on the table

youre kind of just standing there not knowing what to do until you hear sniffs and soft gasps and youre like omfg he’s crying

so you just awkwardly pat him on the back.. and say “do you.. wanna talk about it..”

turns out youngmin did wanna talk about it lmao he tells you how scared he is, says that he doesn’t want to fail his people and feels so stressed about everything

you tell him everything that he needed to hear: that all his people loved him and even if it meant that he couldn’t see them as often as he’d like he’s doing what’s best for everyone and according to the people you’ve talked to, he’s being a pretty amazing king

you end up being his listening ear after that-- he trusts in you more and talks to you when making decisions and at first you’re like? you really trust me with this

and he LAUGHS wow that was the first time you heard his laugh it was magical and he was like “i chose you because you weren’t stupid, remember?”

and you’re like OHHHH NOW IT MAKES SENSE

time passes and you and youngmin become closer.. it turns out that youngmin was being an asshole to you bc he truly believed that you should be in love before getting married, and felt that he was being cheated out of that bc of the whole situation

he was also kind of uncomfortable with u being apart of things because he didn’t know you that well so he didnt know if he trusted you BUT now you two are close and he needs you for every decision!!

one day after a long day of work and going over papers, you just so happen to fall asleep in youngmin’s office on the couch

and youngmin was trying to be considerate and everything right bc your bedroom was pretty far (it was really just a few halls down) but his was right there so why not

like

just take you to his room and cuddle you all night KJLFJKDFJKFD

needless to say you were surprised when you woke up in youngmin’s arms the next morning

happily surprised ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

after that you started “accidentally” falling asleep in his office more often

and youngmin would always “be considerate” and let you sleep in his bed

it came to a point where your maids got so sick of it that they packed up all ur shit for you and moved it into his room without you two knowing

at first yall were like “what?1!??1! no we totally aren’t living together!1!!1″

yall never tried to move your stuff out

it didn’t take long after that for youngmin to confess to you or for you to happily accept

sometime during your relationship you and youngmin get to spend a rare sunday afternoon in bed cuddling and just listening to each other’s heartbeats

until youngmin says “babe.. let’s get married”

and you snort and hold up your hand with your wedding ring

“youngmin, we ARE married”

your husband sits up and shakes his head, pulling you into his chest and leaning his head on yours

“i mean a real wedding where we can actually express how much we love each other without all the pressure and stuff for press. i just want to show everyone how much i truly love you”

GOODBYE I’M DYING HE’S THE CUTEST

before you know it there are wedding bells and you’re walking down the aisle wearing a dress you chose yourself this time and there’s your husband actually smiling at you with as much love as he can muster

the wedding goes amazing, your loved ones are all there to congratulate you two on being truly in love as well as the town to celebrate the greatest king and queen duo brand new kingdom has ever had

and there are lots, and lots, of periwinkles