#also I say bronchitis but I’m not actually that sick it’s literally JUST a cough I’m completely fine otherwise | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

drake-the-incubus · 3 years

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Post Note: This is long and I’m sorry.

I want to expand on what I mean but not use that post to do so.

Believe it or not, “x is a sign of y” isn’t as harmful as everyone is screaming about.

For example, my knees. I intermittently use a cane. Recently I haven’t had to use it- or I’ve forgotten it- but I have had days where I needed it.

I’ve had bad knee pain for a long ass time. Issues with pain in my legs in general.

But a lot of the time it would be a dull throb and I was fairly active as a kid and teen.

I also have a joint cracking problem. And I don’t mean I’m purposefully cracking my joints- though I do- I mean I’ve earned the nickname, “snap, crackle and pop” and “rice krispies”.

And my mom, when I was 12, went in for osteoarthritis and after years of pain finally found out she had a degenerating back that caused her back to create shards and she had a pinched cyatic nerve.

Forgive me as I’ve never seen this written down.

I’ve also had a problem with being incredibly sick as a child. Bronchitis to Bronchial Pneumonia almost yearly, and a couple of gland infections.

Do you know what mom tells me and I do?

Warning signs. Very common and not at all unusual warning signs.

I’m at risk for arthritis. In fact mom and I are both certain if it’s not there in my knees it’ll develop at some point.

In fact, earlier this year, I had back pain. God awful back pain. It ran down one leg at some point.

So I asked my mom because these were the symptoms for her issues. She told me to immediately see a doctor.

To most, that’s an overreaction. But it’s not.

I’ll round back to my sickly childhood.

I have a devil of a cough, I’ll hack up a lung if I have a fit. In fact if I’m ill I have the chance to seriously damage my throat- Halls my saviour.

I’ve had colds turn into serious medical issues because they don’t go away on their own, and what was considered a cold turned out to be an infection.

So now I’m hyper vigilant. A cold that last three days with medicine, I go to the doctor. If it’s just a cold, I’ll refuse their medicine, if it’s bronchitis, I’ve caught it early and now can avoid an emergency room visit.

Because of this sickly thing I’ve had for over two decades of my life- since I was an infant/toddler- I now have to tell people I live with, “hey if I’m sick too long tell me I’ll need to see a hospital”.

COVID came around and I literally got messages from multiple people worried I was going to die if I caught it, and I’m going to say, I’m terrified. I’ve been in the hospital multiple times due to illness, days away from being hospitalized.

The virus fucking terrified me. I’ve had more than ten scares of having it, with no idea what I should do, so I treated myself with care, waited for day three, when it didn’t come I was relieved.

I’ve nearly died twice to an allergic reaction, to this day, I’m deathly allergic to two things and I don’t know what they are.

I’m also allergic- but not even close to severe- to other things I can shrug off.

I’ve also had a negative general allergy test. It’s where I found out my blood type.

But I’ve had my throat slowly close up as I took a specific anti depressant. I didn’t notice until my tongue had started swelling in my mouth, that I had more itchy skin than usual and I was having breathing issues. I got told I was a few days out from actual death.

For mental health. I have very weird applications of symptoms.

I can tell if someone is angry or not, I can have genuine conversations with someone and notice minute details.

I’m also traumatized and was forced into recognizing emotions.

But I don’t know when to stop a conversation. I don’t know when to interpret someone’s polite way of ending something. I don’t know the social etiquette to not embarrass people. I can be sociable, but I hate people and I never seek them out myself.

I’m not the model someone looks to for an AFAB with autism.

My trans status really pushed the diagnosis.

But I do have the symptoms, they’re just not presenting in ways that make people scream autism- more like scream freak.

And as a teen I never knew I had it. But I found people who related to me outside of a psychological textbook who explained my issues and gave tips that worked for once.

I was Fourteen before it clicked in my parents were abusing me. That it wasn’t normal to stop and listen to make sure those were their footsteps. If they were coming to my room. How heavy? Is that anger?

I’d explain normal life things and get people telling me it wasn’t normal and I needed to be away from it. That the behaviour was terrifying.

That if my parents were threatening to beat me black and blue, I should be trying to get out.

Trauma causes memory issues? How would I know that as a teen going to the police and not being able to say anything other than, “they threaten me when I brush my teeth”.

A terrified seventeen year old, describing how they were punished and the police couldn’t take them seriously, as they sobbed and begged to not go back.

In a week I had to return because there was no where else to go.

I couldn’t tell the police office my parents threatened my life that night.

I couldn’t remember why I was convinced by my friends online to run away.

My teachers got mad: “Did you think of your grades, you’re graduating this year”

Not even thinking about how I was suffering so much I got sent to the councillor- and then dumped- multiple times for suicidal ideation and the absolute terror I had in ever speaking of my issues.

It took meeting someone who was traumatized to learn I had panic attacks.

“Go take Your medication they give you for anxiety, you’re having a panic attack”

I’ve had them since I was a child and it took frantically talking in a chat room to figure it out.

I got half my diagnoses from the people around me before medically getting them. And that’s not a joke.

I had abnormally painful periods for my entire childhood, and it took a friend telling me it was probably bad I needed my mom’s painkillers for her back sometimes to even exist.

And do you know what, extremely painful periods is a sign for something really bad. And about 1/3 of afabs have that experience.

It’s considered normal. And yet it can lead to a deadly disease if you’re not careful.

A painful boob can be breast cancer.

A cough and fever could be COVID.

People relatively will explain their experiences in a way that people see is normal.

Making it Hard to actually convey how these experiences are normal for US but they’re not normal.

“Haha I Just found out reading a lot as a kid was a sign of PTSD” isn’t someone taking the piss abt PTSD, it’s a common experience due to escape fantasies. I know a lot of people, most who hate reading now, that explained how they’d read for hours as a child to get out of life, sometimes pretending to be something better.

And so in good conscience, I can’t say that post is great.

TDLR; The post that insinuates “x is a sign of y” comes off as ableist, as my lived experiences I know where this comes from.

Sometimes minor things can be a sign of something major and ignoring it doesn’t help.

Physical and Mental health are hard to convey, and most of the time someone doesn’t have the language or forethought to in depth describe their experiences.

#abuse tw #child abuse tw #period tw #near death tw

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mari-beau · 4 years

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PSA: IF YOU HAVE HAD COVID & SEEK MEDICAL FOLLOW-UP, KNOW YOUR PATIENT RIGHTS TO REFUSE UNNECESSARY TESTS

ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE SUBJUGATED TO THE AMERICAN HEALTH SYSTEM

IF YOU HAVE CONCERNS ABOUT YOUR COVID RECOVERY, DO SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION!! IT IS IMPORTANT. YOU COULD HAVE SERIOUS COMPLICATIONS.

BUT DESPITE ALL THE MOCKERY AND DERISION FROM THE MEDICAL FIELD, DO SOME RESEARCH YOURSELF (FROM LEGIT MEDICAL AND SCIENTIFIC INSTITUTION’S WEBSITES/SOURCES)

DOCTORS ARE JUST PEOPLE. AND A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE NOT THAT SMART. (AND YOUR DOCTOR IS NOT NECESSARILY SMARTER OR MORE CAPABLE OF UNDERSTANDING THE VIROLOGY AND BIOLOGY OF YOUR SITUATION THAN YOU ARE). QUESTION THINGS. MAKE THEM EXPLAIN AND JUSTIFY THEIR ACTIONS.

MAKE THEM LISTEN TO YOU!

MY STORY HAS BEEN PLACED BELOW A BREAK

Because TRIGGER WARNING for people with Hospital/Medical PTSD

I tested positive for COVID-19 well over a month ago. I got moderately sick. I did not need to be hospitalized (thankfully). And was able to manage it with cold medicine. It was in my lungs. I had a high fever that cycled on and off for days, cough, shortness of breath, fatigue. By day 11, I was recovered enough and deemed no longer infectious by Public Health’s certified nurses (who know and understand COVID guidance/pathology).

It still took me awhile to completely bounce back. And surprise-surprise, my work is extremely stressful (I work for a local Public Health Department, the ones tasked with doing all of the non-direct patient care pandemic work, such as case investigations, quarantining, helping the public, inspections, answering every single question of every single member of the public). So it was taking me longer to be at normal levels of health. And I was noticing I’d be fine for days, but when I started to get a little worn down from work, I’d start coughing again.

My coworkers were concerned and had one of our nurses encourage me to seek follow-up in case I had a secondary infection as a result of my COVID infection, such as bronchitis or pneumonia. I tried calling the practice where my doctor used to be (living in rural area, the doctors maybe last a year before leaving), but the receptionist said they had no providers until following Monday (I was calling on a Wednesday). She was also baffled by my spiel:

“I tested positive for COVID-19 on November 24. I was cleared by Public Health on Dec. 4. I feel fine most of the time, but when I get tired, I start coughing again. I would like to be checked out to make sure I don’t have bronchitis or pneumonia or lung damage.”

I’m not so sure what’s so difficult about that. I had to prompt her... Should I call back on Monday then to see if I can get checked out?

My coworker used to be practice manager for that group of practices. And she was like WTF? and called over to confirm that they had no provider covering the practice through the New Year’s weekend.

But to be honest, it wouldn’t have mattered if I’d gotten through to them, because come to find out, the whole “Health Systems” conglomerate in our region funnels anyone who has had COVID to the Main Hospital ER. My mother’s doctor, who she asked to follow up because she is older and had concerns about complications, was likewise sent to the “COVID unit” in the hospital, despite the fact that she was no longer infectious and in recovery.

Anyway, the nurse at work encouraged me to get checked out that day. So I called the Urgent Care. Again, the receptionist was baffled by my spiel. As was the nurse she had speak to me. The nurse informed me I had to go to the main hospital.

Fine. I thought. I’d just get my lungs checked out and get it over with. If I had a secondary infection, they could give me a steroid inhaler or stronger cough medicine or something.

WRONG!

I show up to the Hospital, they funnel you through precautions (which is great). I give my spiel to the receptionist, adding on how I tried my primary care and urgent care, and they told me I had to come here. They give me to intake person, who asks me the standard questions and checks my vitals.

My heartrate is high.

I have panic attacks in hospitals. I can’t even visit people in the hospital. It’s not a conscious issue. And it’s completely outside of my control. I can attempt to manage with anxiety coping mechanisms, but to be honest it doesn’t work.

I inform the intake nurse/doctor/whoever that my stress levels have been high from work, specifically Monday I was in the call center getting verbally abused by our wonderful community members all day long. And that I have panic attacks in hospitals. And was likely in early stages of panic attack. He replied to me that was on Monday and it’s Wednesday (someone who had no clue how anxiety works). And I of course sounded perfectly calm then, because part of how I cope is trying to keep my shit together and not freak out.

They admit me for having a high heart rate. (BECUASE DOCTORS DON”T LISTEN, ESPECIALLY TO WOMEN).

SO, SUMMARY SO FAR: I HAVE BEEN ADMITTED TO THE HOSPITAL FOR HAVING PANIC ATTACKS IN THE HOSPITAL WHEN I JUST WANTED SOMEONE TO CHECK MY LUNGS.

They stick me in a negative pressure COVID room because I had COVID a month ago (and they don’t seem to understand I am no longer infectious, or how viruses work; yes, some people remain very sick and infectious longer; I meet all the criteria of no longer being infectious).

I have to change into hospital gown, etc. Doctor checks my lungs. Everything sounds fine. My 02 stats are 100%.

I SHOULD HAVE BEEN RELEASED AT THIS POINT. I SHOULD HAVE REFUSED ALL FURTHER PROCEDURES AND TESTS. BUT I HAVE HOSPITAL-INDUCED ANXIETY AND AM IN NO STATE OF MIND TO QUESTION ANYTHING BECAUSE I’M BARELY KEEPING MY SHIT TOGETHER. NO WONDER I’M FUCKING TACHYCARDIC.

Next up is the nurses, come to hook me up to the heart monitor and EKG.

AND DO THE ONE OTHER THING THAT CAN SEND ME INTO A FULL ANXIETY ATTACK.

They ignore me when I tell them they need to use a pediatric needle on my veins. All of my mom’s family has small, hard to find, fragile veins. THEY BLOW OUT TWO OF MY VEINS IN ONE ARM WHILE A LAB PERSON IS TRYING TO DRAW BLOOD OUT OF MY OTHER ARM.

I AM FINE WITH VACCINES/SHOTS. AND IF THEY CAN GET A NEEDLE IN AND DRAW BLOOD QUICK, I CAN KEEP MY SHIT TOGETHER. I HAVE NO CONSCIOUS FEAR OF NEEDLES OR BLOOD. BUT IF THEY MESS AROUND WITH MY ARMS TOO LONG, IT SENDS ME INTO FULL HYPERVENTILATING, CRYING HYSTERICALLY, LEG THRASHING PANIC ATTACK.

ALL THE WHILE, I’M APOLOGIZING TO THEM. AND HATING MYSELF FOR MY REACTION.

The nurse keeps trying to comfort me as she blows out another vein in my arm for an IV I DID NOT NEED. I keep saying “I’m sorry. It’s stupid. It’s so stupid I get like this.” As I’m sobbing and hyperventilating.

The nurse gives up after blowing out several veins in my arm when doing the saline wash. (This does not pardon me, but only buys me a reprieve).

Lab Guy exits with some blood he managed to get out of one of my arms.

I have been repeatedly questioned by doctors and nurses so far about having had another COVID test. I tell them no, since I can test positive for up to 3 months afterwards, it’s quite literally pointless.

THEY GIVE ME ANOTHER COVID TEST.

My first one when I was actually sick, was just mildly uncomfortable. THIS TIME THEY MANAGE TO GIVE A PRETTY SPECTACTULAR BLOODY NOSE. AND PROMPTLY LEAVE THE ROOM AS I CALL ‘MY NOSE IS BLEEDING’ AFTER THEM.

I HAVE TO USE THE MASK I WORE IN TO TRY TO STAUNCH THE NOSEBLEED.

I THINK IT WAS HERE I HAD MY FULL ON PANIC ATTACK. IF YOU HAVE THEM, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN BY FULL-ON. I WAS ALONE. (WHICH I PREFER BECAUSE THEY EMBARRASS ME).

A different nurse finally comes back for some other reason (I don’t remember now). I ask her from some tissues. She hands me some paper towels. She leaves. She returns, gives me a washcloth to clean all the blood off my face and neck. Another nurse is with her.

ROUND TWO OF DRAWING BLOOD & IV ATTEMPT

These ones do better. But I am calmer having just had the full-on panic attack. They have to use veins in my biceps to draw the blood. And finally get an IV in. (Mind you, it’s an IV I really didn’t need). They give me a bag of fluids and some anti-anxiety/sedative to try to bring my heart rate down (letting me go home would’ve worked far better).

They’ve already done the EKG. They put me through a CT scan and echocardiogram. And finally a chest x-ray (which would’ve been in the more necessary scope of treatment/evaluation for my complaint/concern about residual lung damage).

There’s a good wait time in between these.

I was already hydrated. I drink a lot of water. And so I had to pee very badly.

Because, guess what the COVID test came back positive and they’ve stuck the official notice on the negative pressure COVID room door, I have to use the little commode chair thing in the room. The nurse puts a little bedpan/measuring catch thingy in it. She takes some of my urine to test (so yet another unnecessary test).

They give me another bag of fluids. Which makes me have to pee very badly again. I try to call a nurse. My bladder’s about explode. But I’m hooked up to machines and not sure if I’m allowed to leave the hospital bed. She glances in at me. Tells me it’s okay to go.

I fill up the little bedpan.

I will have to pee very badly again by the end of this ordeal, and have more than half a mind to go pee/overflow the bedpan into the rest of the ‘commode’.

But finally whatever doctor assigned to me comes back, says everything is fine and I can be released.

Mind you, my heartrate has remained low 100s for hours and hours (a little high for me, but I was in a fucking hospital and having panic attacks and my anxiety was still quite high).

I wait another half an hour for a nurse to come and disconnect me from everything and do a ‘verbal’ discharge.

SO MANY TIMES I HAD WANTED TO YANK EVERYTHING OFF ME AND LEAVE. I NOW WISH I HAD DONE PRECISELY THAT.

My parents showed up and were waiting for me in the parking lot to drive me home and drive my truck home. My mom said it looked like I had been through a war. She’d never seen me look so terrible.

I went into work that morning feeling worn down from work. And I was coughing a little. I came out of the hospital 8 hours later feeling the worst I have in my life. Worse than when I was feverish and struggling to breath from COVID infection.

The public health nurses at my workplace advised me to file a complaint against the hospital. They agreed/informed me that what the hospital did was medically unnecessary.

I HAVE BRUISES ALL UP AND DOWN MY ARMS. I HAVE BURST CAPILLARIES UNDER MY EYES AND ACROSS MY CHEEKS FROM CRYING SO HARD. I HAVE WOKEN UP EVERY MORNING SINCE WITH A TIGHT KNOT OF ANXIETY IN MY CHEST. MY HEART RATE (WHICH I CHECK WITH A PULSE OXIMETER) HAS NOT RETURNED TO ITS NORMAL LOWER LEVELS. IT HAS BEEN FIVE DAYS.

SUMMARY:

I HAD COVID AND RECOVERD. I WAS CONCERNED ABOUT POSSIBLE COMPLICATIONS SUCH AS BRONCHITIS, PNEUMONIA OR LUNG DAMAGE BECAUSE I HAVE A RECCURRING SLIGHT COUGH.

NO HEALTH CARE PROVIDERS UNDER THE CONGLOMERATE THAT IS OUR ONLY CHOICE OF MEDICAL CARE IN OUR REGION WILL SEE ANYONE WHO HAS HAD COVID. THEY SEND THEM ALL DIRECTLY TO THE MAIN HOSPITAL ER COVID UNIT TO DO A SLEW OF UNNECESSARY TESTS AND RACK UP THE HOPISTAL BILL.

I WENT TO GET A SLIGHT COUGH CHECKED OUT. INSTEAD I WAS SUBJECTED TO UNNECESSARY TESTS AND TREATMENT JUST TO BE TOLD I AM IN FACT PERFECTLY FINE. AND NOW I HAVE TEXTBOOK PTSD.

FUCK YOU, AMERICAN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM.

**EXTRA REMINDER TO SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION AND FOLLOW-UP IF YOU HAVE HAD COVID AND ARE CONCERNED. JUST REMEMBER YOU HAVE RIGHTS AND OUR HEALTH CARE SYSTEM’S MAIN FOCUS IS MAKING MONEY**

#american health care #covid-19 #coronavirus recovery #hospital ptsd #panic attacks #anxiety #tw: anxiety

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honeybee-babe · 5 years

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Sharing is Caring (Except When You’re Sick) Part 4

Part four of my collab Sick!Klaus and Sick!Luther fic with @hargreevesstyles!! It can also be read on her blog. :)

As Vanya zoned back into the conversation, Diego was in the middle of scolding Klaus who had accidentally spilled his soup. “Be more careful, Klaus. You burned your leg pretty badly!”

“Sorry I was fucking sneezing, Diego! It’s kind of hard not to burn yourself when you’re eating boiling hot soup and you have to sneeze every two seconds,” Klaus explained.

Diego bit, “How about you put the bowl on the table like a normal person?”

“Why are you being a dick?” Klaus shouted.

The room fell silent.

“Seriously, Diego, fucking lay off. You keep saying you’re concerned about me but all you’re doing is yelling at me and making me feel shitty!” Klaus ran his hand through his hair. “It’s making me more miserable than the incessant sneezing!”

Diego didn’t say anything.

“Whatever, I’m going upstairs,” Klaus muttered.

Vanya interjected, “No, don’t. Come on, Klaus, stay down here. Finish up your soup and then I’ll go into the living room to watch a movie with you.” Klaus didn’t say anything, he just kept staring at the ground. “I’ll let you pick and I’ll make us popcorn.”

“Fine. But only if Diego won’t be there,” Klaus snapped. “Ihh-hitschue! Fuck! Hihhh...huhh….”

“You alright, Klaus?” Allison asked as Klaus’ breath continued to hitch.

“Fucking fanta-hahhh-fantastic….oh god….hihhh….”

It was Vanya’s time to shine. Without calling attention to herself, she tried to channel the energy and the waves around her. She focused as hard as she could on using the energy to vibrate along Klaus’ septum. Klaus looked like he was on the cusp of sneezing when Vanya got an idea. She ceased her powers all together, and Klaus’ hitching breaths halted.

“Oh my god it tickles so bad,” Klaus whined. He scrubbed as hard as he could to repel the itch. Vanya controlled the waves again and sent a malicious vibration zooming around Klaus’ entire nose, and then she stopped it almost a second later. Klaus’ breath hitched wildly and he then lost the sneeze.

Vanya was amused with her powers, so much that she honestly had forgotten that she was toying with Klaus.

“I ha...a...have to sneeze so...hihhh….so fuckingbadly-hahhh….oh my,” Klaus sniffled. He took a tissue and blew his nose. Vanya tried to use her powers to push energy out of Klaus’ nose, seeing if that would help him clear his nasal cavity any better. And it did. Klaus was left a little sniffly, but he could breathe.

Now that Vanya knew she could do that, she went back to messing with Klaus’ need to sneeze.

She teased him for another few minutes or so and then she really realized what she was doing. Klaus had tears running down his cheeks, his nose was running wildly and he had a tissue poised in front of his nose--not quite touching his face, more like hovering in front--so he could catch the impending sneezes, if they ever came. When Vanya saw how miserable she looked she realized she needed to give him the satisfaction he was craving. So, she did all she could to intensify the tickle with as much power as possible.

As if on cue, Klaus’ breath hitched wildly, deeper than he normally would, resulting in an abnormally powerful sneeze from his frail body.

“Huhh’ENXtshyuu!!” His curls bounced wildly as his face snapped forward into the tissue. Vanya flinched; she hadn’t expected that out of him. None of his siblings had. They stared at him in surprise, spoons held halfway to their lips.

“Jesus, Klaus—”

“N-not done - heh! HhhrETDZshiew!” Klaus snapped forward into the tissue again with a slightly less powerful explosion. “HiehHTShiew-xnGST! Fuhh-nXGTshyuu-fuck!” As they died down in intensity, they increased in rapidity, falling one on top of the other. “Hih’eshyuu-nXGt! xxngt-ishyuu! Hh’tschiuehh!” In a last ditch effort, Klaus pinched the damp tissue around his nose. “hh’xgtsh! ihh’ngxt! Hh’nxshiuu - hih!” He paused for a moment, mouth agape and eyes squinted, before his shoulders settled down again and he released the breath in a sigh. “Sorry,” he mumbled, voice small as he rubbed at his nose with the remnants of the tissue.

“Sorry, what was that about not being sick?” Diego asked.

Klaus rolled his eyes. “You know, you could say, like, bless you, or something. You don’t need to skip straight to the bitchy comments.”

“You’re sick! That’s all I’m saying.”

“I’m leaving. For real this time. Vanya, sorry, I’m not in the mood for a movie.”

Without giving anyone else the chance to speak, Klaus stood up and strode out of the room.

“Diego, what the hell?” Allison rose her voice.

Diego said, “He’s sick!”

“Give him some fucking sympathy then!”

“Hhh-hhieshhiew!” Came from the hallway.

Vanya called, “Bless you!”

There was no response, just the sound of stomping on the stairs and then the slamming of a door.

Vanya added, “Really, Diego, you have to give him a break. This honestly seems more like allergies than it does a cold. He might not be sick, and even if he is you have to lighten up on him!”

“No, he needs to take care of himself! If I have to see him in a damn hospital bed one more time, I-“

“Diego he has a cold! And he might not even actually have one!” Allison argued.

Diego tried, “I-I...I’ve just seen him really sick. It’s always bad. H-h-he gets so weak and...and he…”

“Take your time,” Vanya said.

He took a deep breath. “I’ve seen Klaus almost dead too many times. When he’s sick it gets bad fast. I can’t see him like that it-it breaks my heart!” Diego explained. “It’s easier to show my concern through anger than it is through actual concern.”

Both Vanya and Allison felt a pang in their hearts. Diego and Klaus had remained in touch and all of the others knew it. They were the closest out of the siblings, well except for Ben who literally was almost always with Klaus.

It didn’t surprise either of them that Diego’s anger was really just poorly disguised worry.

“Still, Klaus is...fragile. He’s gone through a lot,” said Vanya.

Diego knew that and he understood it perfectly well. There was just something inside of him that became overwhelmed with concern whenever Klaus wasn’t feeling well or if he got hurt. Diego was always the one there for Klaus when he overdosed or when he was mugged or when it was the middle of winter and Klaus didn’t have a home. He had seen him with pneumonia, bronchitis, hypothermia, and several bad injuries. Diego knew that whenever Klaus caught something little it would become something nasty because he never took care of himself.

This always led to Diego becoming overprotective and being on edge for the entire time that Klaus was sick, and it only got worse as it happened more frequently. Maybe it was the fact that Diego knew nothing about this illness. He hadn’t seen Luther at all yet and he figured he might as well go and see what Klaus was up against.

“I’m going to go see how Luther’s doing. I’ll stop by Klaus’ room on the way back and see if he’ll let me talk to him,” Diego announced.

When he arrived in Luther’s room, Five was sitting on his bed chatting with the ill boy. Diego knocked as he walked in.

“How you doin’ Luther?” He asked.

Luther rasped, “Been better. What are you doing up here? Who’s watching Klaus?”

Diego chuckled softly. Luther was always trying to make sure his team was doing well. “He and I aren’t on the best terms right now. I’ll check on him later though, okay? How are you really feeling?”

“It’s so awful, Diego. I’m pretty sure my skin is melting,” Luther said. He coughed productively into his elbow.

“You should get to bed, Luther. I’ll grab the humidifier from Klaus’ room,” Five said. Before Luther could protest, Five blinked out and back in with the humidifier. He set it up quickly.

After a few minutes of talking to Luther, Diego could see the good it was doing for Luther’s cough. The dry air in his room must have been suffocating him before. Diego moved closer into the room and sat down on Luther’s desk. He wanted to be close to him but there was no way in hell he was going to let himself catch whatever it was Luther had.

Somehow for a guy as big as he was, Luther looked gaunt. His face had an alarming pallor which threw Diego off greatly. Luther’s normally stern expression was replaced with an exhausted one, as if he hadn’t slept in days. Diego guessed that he probably hadn’t been able to sleep well for the past few nights.

“Hh...Klaushandmeatissue-hhK’TschOO! Hh-k’ISHHIEW!” Luther sneezed into his blankets, then accepted a tissue from Diego.

“It’s Diego, by the way. Not Klaus,” Diego said.

Luther wiped his nose as much as he could. “Sorry, I think my fever is messing with my brain.”

“It definitely is. You should have heard him earlier,” Five laughed. “Speaking of, though, we should take your temperature again. It’s been a few hours and you’ve had some medicine in you for quite a while.

Diego picked up the thermometer and handed it to Luther so he could do his thing. After the thermometer beeped, Luther said, “100.7, that’s not bad.”

“Yeah, well it’s still not good.” Diego took the thermometer and put it in his pocket, making himself a mental note to fucking clean it this time. “When can you have more fever reducers?”

Luther shrugged.

The Hargreeves’ were not the best at understanding the concept of time--save for Five--especially when they were ill. Diego did the math in his head and told Luther his schedule of doses, but then he doubted that Luther would ever remember any of it so he wrote it down on a sticky note next to his bedside table.

“Will you check up on Klaus for me?” Luther asked. “I haven’t seen him in a few hours and...I don’t know. I don’t want him to be feeling as miserable as I do.”

Diego nodded, “You got it, big guy. Call me if you need anything, or just get the human teleportation device to grab it for you. I’ll come back in a little while and tell you how he’s doing, okay?”

After gaining confirmation from Luther, Diego walked into the hallway. Instead of turning into Klaus’ room he walked into the bathroom first. He didn’t really know how to wash a thermometer properly but he took a washcloth and soaked it in warm water and a tiny bit of soap and scrubbed down the tip of the thermometer. After a few good scrubs Diego decided it should be clean enough and he took it to Klaus’ room.

He went to open the door but it was locked.

“Klaus, can you open up?” Diego asked.

“No.”

Diego sighed, “Please, I just want to talk to you. I want to apologize, okay?”

“I don’t want to get up.”

“Manifest Ben for two seconds and have him do it?” Diego suggested.

Sure enough, Ben opened the door. Diego was about to thank him but he disappeared quickly. He looked at Klaus and frowned.

“Hey,” Diego said.

Klaus muttered, “Hi. What was it you wanted again? To bully me some more while I’m already not at my prime?”

“Why aren’t you at your prime?”

“Forget it, Diego. I didn’t mean it.” Klaus turned his head so he didn’t have to make eye contact with Diego anymore.

So, Diego forgot it. He said, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry about earlier. You were right, I shouldn’t have been so rude to you, it’s just...I get so worried about you, Klaus. You know that I’ve seen you several times on what I thought would be your deathbed. When I see you getting sick or even having the potential of getting sick...it scares the shit out of me. I’m always scared that if you get a cold it’s going to turn into pneumonia and then it’s going to kill you! You’re j-just so...so unpredictable and your body seems to hate you and it terrifies me!”

Diego didn’t even realize that he was ranting until he finished. Klaus had his crooked old smile on his face.

“It’s alright, Diego, don’t worry about it. I know you were just looking out for me.” He set his knitting needles down and pushed himself up on his elbows, patting the space beside him on the bed. Diego reluctantly sat down, just barely perched on the edge, still tense with guilt. “I’m sorry, too. I overreacted, you know how I can get when I’m - when people take care of me.” Diego relaxed a bit and cracked a smile.

“Yeah, I know. Remember December of 2015?” Klaus actually shuddered a bit at the memory; Diego had made him to go to the hospital on Christmas Eve, and he’d ended up spending four days there, with the worst pneumonia of his life, coupled with unintentional withdrawals. And he’d been a total dickhead to Diego every time he’d come to visit, accusing him of holding him hostage and “ruining Christmas” for him.

“Ahh, jeez. Why did you have to bring that up? You know I’m -ht’shjuh! Enxgt-eh’tschiew! Sorry.”

“Bless you. Yeah, I know.” Diego was reminded of his purpose there, and he held he thermometer out for Klaus. With a sigh, Klaus put it in his mouth. He’d resigned himself to the fact that he might have a fever when the warmth he thought had come from eating the soup didn’t go away after a half hour.

When it beeped, Diego grabbed it from him before he could read it. Even despite their previous conversation, he didn’t trust Klaus to tell the truth if his temperature had risen.

“99.5.” Diego’s face fell, and he looked at Klaus with worry. “That’s a fever.”

“Well, shit.” Klaus looked towards his crossed legs, refusing to meet Diego’s gaze. “I guess you were right. Sorry for being such a little bitch.”

“Hey, don’t be sorry.” Diego took the thermometer back. He bit down on his lip as he watched Klaus shrink in on himself a bit. “Hey, Vanya and Allison are gonna watch a movie, if you still want to. I don’t think they started yet.”

“I don’t know,” Klaus’ voice was small. “I’d probably ruin the movie by sneezing every five seconds.” He rubbed at his nose harshly as if he needed to prove his point any more than he already had.

“They’re gonna watch Legally Blonde 2.” Klaus perked up a bit at that; they all knew it was his comfort movie. “Come on, let’s go get you medicated and then I’ll make some popcorn.”

“Ugh, fine!”

Before they could even start the film, Diego had to run to the store to buy more corn kernels (Klaus insisted on homemade popcorn), actually make the popcorn, and run upstairs to check on Luther. Which led to him calming down a panicky Five (“It only went up .3 degrees, he’ll be fine!”), and giving his brother another fever reducer before insisting he call it a night. If anyone asked, he definitely did not tuck Luther in.

By the time they’d popped the film in, it was 9 pm, and Diego was exhausted. He was squished between Allison and Vanya on one couch, with Klaus sprawled across the other all by himself. He also had his own bowl of popcorn, which he’d claimed was a necessity now that he was confirmed to be sick, and he might be contagious.

To no one’s surprise, Five turned down their offer to join them. Klaus wasn’t sad about it; he’d bitched about the “tonal inconsistencies” and continuity errors the whole time they’d made him watch it the last time Klaus was sick, and the whole film had lost its charm.

Within the first half hour of the film, Diego was starting to drift off. Klaus’ surprising lack of sneeziness (thank you, Vanya) only made it easier for him to fall asleep for minutes at a time. Still, he refused to go to, bed. They all knew he was only staying up to make sure Klaus went to bed at a reasonable hour. Vanya had taken to lightly touching his shoulder every few minutes, in response to which he would suddenly stir and mumble, “I’m awake!”

It wasn’t until he started snoring for the third time that Klaus finally lost his patience and manifested Ben, who yelled at Diego that he would watch over their sick brothers while he slept. Allison and Vanya giggled as Diego frantically nodded and ageed. He checked Klaus’ temperature one final time (“99.2°, let’s hope it stays that way”) before calling a night.

Not long after he left, Allison announced that she was going to bed too. And although she pulled off a convincing fake yawn, Vanya and Klaus both shot each other identical looks. They knew she was just going up to check on Luther. Vanya confirmed that suspicion after the film ended, when she went up to check on him herself, only to find Allison already quietly fussing over him. She watched as Allison pulled the blankets up to his chin, noting his new t-shirt and the clean set of sheets on his nightstand. Once again, Vanya slipped out of the room just as quietly as she’d came in.

Klaus hadn’t managed to make it upstairs to his own room before he started dozing off on the couch. He was tired anyway, and the pills made the ghosts a bit quieter. And with Ben at his side humming some silly old song, it was impossible for him to not fall asleep.

#sick luther #sick klaus #luther hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #klaus whump #luther whump #umbrella academy fanfiction #tua fanfic #tua snz #klaus snz #luther snz

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blackasteriia · 5 years

Text

Isa

@lunsai ☾

He didn’t want to tell anyone about this but when you’re sick with what feels like bronchitis for a month it’s hard to hide away and have no one but the most important person to you notice. Xion found out long before Lea did, which Isa was sure bruised his poor heart, about Isa being stuck sick & once word traveled they were all like one united, powerful force to get him to finally see the doctor. He wish he hadn’t seen the damn doctor.

After they had gotten home, after Xemnas and Isa had their moment of self-reflection and resolution, Xion was the first to know again. This time it wasn’t happenstance but because she had a precious skill that Xemnas urged Isa to utilize, but the idea of Isa asking Xion to save his life after the destruction he caused to her own heart seemed so laughably ironic. Ironic, and yet he did it anyways.

He would beg her, even get on his knees if he had to, just so he had the chance to breath again just like everyone else. He didn’t even know if her powers could replace scar tissue and mend an unbending ventricle, if she could erase the damage of having his body ripped apart twice over as well as the genetic trap he was trapped inside of along with his father.

His father had died of a heart attack at 40, Isa was ten years younger than that -- if he had lived a normal life, how long could it have lasted? With a harsh swallow he cleared his throat, blinking away tears for his unfortunate circumstances, and turned to look away from Xion.

“Please,” Isa let out, attempting to smother the way it croaked out and remained resolved even when he was begging to live. “If you could help me, then please, help me. I have... I can’t, die. I can’t.”

He stops, biting his lip and looking at her finally. “It’ s only been a few years since got it back, I have so much I need to do. So much that I’ve built with hi--” He swallows harshly. “No one wants to die, you know? I don’t want to.”

Xion noticed first. The coughing, the physical weakness and pain, the way strength and vigor seeped from Isa’s body as though he were poisoned. Xion dealt primarily with trauma injuries: broken arms, cuts, wounds, sprains, lodged objects, etc. As per the the requirements of the infirmary. She left the difficult diagnostic and prognosis work to Even; Often following his guidance. By no means Xion’s training was complete, but she was learning and as Even put it, she had an eye for detail. Perhaps she had encouraged Lea to encourage Isa to the doctor. Then Xemnas’ request to her and then Lea’s request, and then this.

Xion sat at her desk in the infirmary, papers spread-out, files spilled and a half-drunk mug of coffee sitting cold by her computer. One arm draped over the back of her chair, looking-up to where Isa loomed over her. He was near dead on his feet and about to fall over at any second.

Saïx was five years away. The final scar, a gift from his claymore, stretched still over the skin of her back. On rainy days it stretched painful; But blank ink flourished in flowers and delicate lines hid it. In that time she met isa, a quiet, pitiful man; Who was in many ways gentle, filled with regret and fear. She watched Lea and Xemnas fall in love in part; Could see the fractures in their still new hearts to see Isa’s literally break. Forget all that shit, forget the occasional nightmares that haunted her, even if compassion did not move Xion, reason would.

Even made her promise, even as he renewed his own vow, to do no harm. Beneficence, maximize pleasure, minimize suffering. Xion was proof of the wrong path that medicine could turn down. Even as a little girl, still playing with cures and crying over hurting wounds, Xion had always known her intentions. The world was cruel to her, she knew what it was like to have a back turned to her, a door closed in her face. She would never turn someone away, never let her pride swallow her tongue: Never say no to those she could help.

She stood, chair sliding out from beneath her.

“Of course, you know,” Xion began. “That the left side of your heart is failing. The left ventricle pulls oxygen enriched blood from the lungs for the rest of the body to use. Because it is weakened and not doing its damn job, blood will build in your lungs, causing your coughing fits. It will cause edema, swelling in your joints and ankles. Overtime the chance of your mortality will increase, decreasing your quality of life. If nothing is done? You will die an early death.”

She repeated what Even told him. All so they were on the same page. Xion glanced down at her desk. Her old knife, attained during her first journey after leaving the Organization was laid by her keyboard. She had been using it to clean her fingernails earlier. A little black steel thing with a sharp edge and worn blade. She picked it up, sheath and all; Perhaps her arming herself didn’t make Isa feel much better, but she was thinking of a point.

“Now, if we made a list,” Xion said, her hip braced against the edge of her desk. “Of impossible things that could never happen when we met eight years ago at Castle Oblivion, me helping you recover from heart failure would probably be right at the top of it. Here’s what I’d put at second--”

Xion unsheathed the knife and for a second regarded the blade, eyes half-lidded. Then she touched the edge to her palm and nicked her skin. A short slit that bled crimson blood. Xion pulled a tissue from a box on her desk and wiped off the blade before laying it back on the table. She presented her hand to Isa, she felt no pain and continued casually:

“You saw me,” She murmured. “I had no eyes. No bones, no organs, no blood; I was just human shaped magic. When you called me a puppet, you were right. And yet, here we are, I am bleeding.”

Now she met his eyes, emerald green to black obsidian. Her hair was cropped and styled by a professional, dressed fashionably in a halter top, dress pants, and a lab coat. She appeared twenty-one but she was actually no older than eight. Somewhere in the midst of a college degree, apprenticed to the most intelligent men and women of the generation, and a guardian of light. It was quite the resume. Xion took pride where she could.

Only looking back did she acknowledge that there were a lot of places where she got lucky. Where kindness helped her along. All those people who stepped-up after the end of Xehanort’s plans to guide and take care of her. People who opened their doors to her, people who taught her what it meant to be human. Isa was one of them, as absurd as it was, the way he reached-out, tried to grow and change, make-up for his past mistakes. He learned to love, and it was beautiful, and Xion’s smile glowed when she looked at him-- because she had seen all that.

“And now, after all I’ve learned,” Xion whispered. “I can also do this.”

She turned-out her palm for him to see. She weaved gold and white cure between her fingers, sophisticated, delicate but exact, smelling of the rain and flowers, sweet but gentle. Before his eyes the cut healed, closing, leaving not even a mark. She departed from his side and to a nearby sink, where she watched her hands of blood. Drying her hands on a towel she returned to Isa’s side.

“Magic is not a miracle,” Xion said. “It can’t just fix you, I can’t just fix you. Only you can do that. I won’t promise you’ll live to ninety, but sixty? Seventy, even? We can manage that, absolutely. Everyone has to die but you don’t have to die now. And maybe soon, you could walk again, even run. I’m glad you told me you don’t want to die, because that’s where we need to start. You must have the will to fight, without it you might as well keel over now.”

Xion reached-out to take his hand in hers. Just as she once did at the kitchen table. His fingers was still so thin, but weaker now, his grip evaporated, strength stolen by this disease that afflicted his heart. Xion was once so weak, incapable of bearing the weight of even one, tiny little heart that she grew in her chest like a petri dish. Eight years, when her time in the Organization was but a sliver of her past and she was older than she was ever intended to be, she was stronger. Taller too, so much so that her gaze leveled with his. Isa could take everything she gave and run with it, never look back to say thanks, and she’d be alright with that.

“I will help you,” Xion said. “So long, as you are willing to be helped.”

#✰*✦ Dawn Light⎧VERSE⎫#✰*✦ The face in the mirror⎧IC⎫#lunsai #in which i show off my new icons

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incarnateirony · 6 years

Text

Life rant below.

I am having. SUCH a bad couple of days. I’ve reached that point where the universe itself is telling me to get fucked in every single way possible, big or small, at every corner.

I’m so fucking mad in every possible way right now

It started small. I got sick. I have a very testosterone-addled immune system which is actually why people talk about the man flu, wherein testosterone-heavy people’s immune systems don’t react until you’re already super-sick and then they over-react, which believe it or not, as much fun as it is to make fun of men for being pansies for having the man-flu, is also why they can go from a case of the sniffles from feeling like you’re dying, because of how the immune system reacts versus lower testosterone counts and I have a... huge testosterone imbalance, probably heavier than most cis dudes out there. On top of other health problems I have, it basically means I can walk through most minor bugs but if they don’t go away I will suddenly be floored when I have the same bug as, say, my wife.

This time last year I lost my voice due to a bronchitis case gone sideways, for two weeks. This appears to be a repeat. I started losing my voice a few days ago and as of last night it was totally gone. And boy I love her but for some reason she forgets skype exists when she’s home and instead spends most of our time in twitter GCs we’re mutuals in, which usually isn’t a problem, but unless I want to blast every fucking thing I need to a group of 40 people online, it’s really inconvenient. Or wait for her to back out and hope she spots a side DM. I don’t know when this habit started, since we used to casually engage on skype at home even when we, you know, had voices, but I can sit and send something and wait an hour until I start raising my hands and making pterodactyl noises getting her to try to read what I said. Only to get asked “What?” over and over again like I can answer.

That’s a minor side gripe along the way, really. She still tried to be thoughtful, still took me to a birthday dinner, it’s not like she’s a cunt or anything, but as of lately it’s been really difficult to like... exist? Communicate?

I had sent her on skype, before she came home, a message that was incredibly blunt. Because she has an obsession with cold pills instead of cough syrup and I’d been hacking up a lung and I knew if I was gonna sleep I’d need a damn syrup cuz my body actually tends to absorb that enough to let me, I dunno, SLEEP. I literally was like COUGH SYRUP PLEASE I KNOW YOU LIKE COLD PILLS BUT I NEED SYRUP IF YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST GET BOTH BUT PLEASE

She comes home with... TWO kinds of cold pills. One’s SEVERE cold and flu. I stop, look at the box, she looks back at me like “What”

An hour later she checks skype and was like “Oh, if I had seen that I would have gotten you cough syrup.” ...thanks. Much helpful. Well, will try it anyway

And cough my lungs out all night so hard I felt like I was about to blow my old hernia back out and woke up having literally pulled something in my hip from the violent gagging and coughing all night, at a point that someone is PROBABLY gonna tell me to go to a doctor but please don’t concern troll me with that, I know my body’s limits, I’ve survived helluva things, and from the ensuing waterfall I do not have the time to listen to some person poised to run and get medical attention whenever they want tell me that, thanks.

So I wake up this morning and I hurt. A LOT. My voice is 1000000000000000000% gone. It’s now almost 4 PM and my gut STILL hurts from the nighttime coughing (which decreases when I’m vertical and conscious). I go to make use of my vape for nicotine/CBD which you know, helps with stress and pain and anxiety and... my batteries are burned out.

...Cool cool, cool cool. Well, I have an old mod that uses different batteries, I’ll just transfer to that one.

Oh... the... atomizer on it came loose and... won’t screw in right. I’ll unscrew.

...Oh, the atomizer just... unscrewed... with... the tank... and won’t come off... so now I can’t even try to get my newer mod charged up because I don’t have a tank to screw on it.

No problem! The baby prince and baby beast use the same coils, I’ll change out the... base... nope... won’t fit the glass. Okay, I’ll trade to the baby beast’s glass too. Okay, cool! It fits!

Error: Shorted.

Cue smell of burning asshole.

I’m not even going to cover the amount of wasted and spilled juice in the course of this, just that I’m down two mods and two tanks and absolutely any form of stress or pain relief and I don’t even have a voice and I finally got her to answer me on skype at work but she’s gonna... I dunno, try to find me a replacement, I guess, eventually, whenever she’s off, if anything’s still open, and then hopefully not ignore the fuck out of me on skype or forget to bring goddamn cough syrup and/or not bring home more cold pills.

To say I’m in a bad mood is an understatement.

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 4 years

Text

Im playing my online farming game and I hear "come on guys. Let's go. Time to quit playing around. Mom has people waiting -- like the whole world for our results"

Well it's been 7 hours since the last update and about 6 since they got that larger batch going

Chasity: the UV is doing better than i expected, I'm pleasantly surprised but it's also worse than i thought.

So she explains to me that it is easy to kill but it develops very quickly as it ages but its not harder to kill. Like a fine wine it goes down quick.

Chasity: mom you play too Much. So as it ages it does become slower to kill but it's not easier nor harder just longer.

Me: that's weird

Chasity: yep. We had several different people test it. And the results were all the same But it was milliseconds however we are spraying directly onto a a Petri dish, an antiseptic/antiviral/antibacterial that is prescription for lab use only and so in real life out in the air we don't know the actual results as far as in time - at this time. But we are only 12 hours into the testing phase -- first we had to confiscate the correct virus -- which we did about midnight last night but we didn't really want to test it unless there was an interest and to prove the "PRESIDENT" wrong is an interest. At least for us here in this lab. Because we Are scientist and not idiots. And so to find out how about air we have to spray it into a confined room we have here in the lab and it will show how fast it dies airborne or if it remains air borne past the allowable spray. So like is it just sprayed then falls like the one mom had created (on "accident" through George Bush) so its not airborne or does it remain air borne like the COVID and COVID-19. which once again if you have COVID-19 you cannot get COVID, I've tested it here in this lab they do not interact -- mom what do you call it? A one way window?

Me: yeah because i tried to explain the one way pathway but George Bush didn't understand... He doesn't understand that blood flows one direction through the body from left to right he just thinks the blood goes back and forth in the same blood tube. Like a two way street and so he argued with me and so i explained it as a one way and two way window and he was all "the only one getting arrested here is you. I've proved I'm not smart enough to do all this! Twice!! Just to you!" And he leaned over the table And whispered "And all my life to the secret service" he makes it fun to screw him over to make the perfect virus to kill aliens. To get them off our planet. But to keep humans safe!! And so yes one way mirror.

Chasity: oh that is too funny. That is all i wanted to hear you say, that hes dumb. Your memory is perfect!

Me: so how is the humidity going?

Chasity: sucks fast growing and not easy to kill. But! It does die in about 5 whole seconds and not milliseconds like the UV

Me: so people should feel safe to hang their clothes on the line?

Chasity: oh yeah! Exactly! But they should know the virus can spread in the sun and the UV aka sun won't kill them but it should be safe if it's not like apartment living and its in a private location. It would be better watched to dry in the sun with a fan on an extension cord in a barricaded outdoor place and if you hear someone cough while your clothes are outside you should spray Lysol for at least 2 seconds immediately directly onto the clothes. At least that's what I would do, stay outside with them listening for a cough or discreet spray from a hoodlum or terrorist which is the same now a days. While reading a book and catching some rays myself with sunscreen and sunglasses of course -- in the privacy of my own yard which is allowed even in Spain.

Wendy: so what is the safety? I'll answer that myself. Very very bad. The one mom had was very digital and not many were getting sick from just the Corona. This one however is very bad in just the way it makes any one everywhere very sick and the rate it multiplies. Mom waited too long to close the labs but she stopped one that was 10 times worse and presumed to kill within hours if not just a few days. Like 3 or 4 immediate death. This one now isn't designed to kill, its like mom's. But this one she stopped on Tuesday was like COVID But for every one. It was true Hell. Luckily JuJu pissed her off and she ordered it closed. Otherwise my dad would be dead and probably millions if not billions. They had the orders up,boxed and ready to ship, they just wanted to test on a human first -- my dad.

Long story short. JuJu was the test dummy..

Wendy: yeah! And he died in 4 short hours! My dad wouldn't even had time to get home and would died in his car on the road and it would looked like a generic car accident! So yeah fuck JuJu. I'll kick his ass.

Me: sounds like you did

Wendy: no that was you! Once you posted he committed suicide he knew it was a cover up Because you were just going to have him murdered so he just drank it on his own. That's what i saw.

Me: he hates women so much he committed suicide so that i couldn't have the honor of killing him. Well he only proved women are always right which has Always been my fight with him. Well we won in the end! Hoorah!

Wendy: like 17 people committed suicide that night!

Chasity: Mostly by poisons. They didn't wanna go to jail And wanted control over their own death.

Me: over all death. That's why we always tried to stop them but that was dam sneaky on JuJu

Chasity: he said it was an antidote mom so we didn't know what to do

Me: don't listen to the lab people. I said there is no cure.

Chasity: but for the Corona because we knew there was a new variant for the President of the United State's request because he's mad he is going to die of COVID. I told y'all we needed a human!

Me: well just kill any thing the Corona Variant 2 is mild

Chasity: just a wet cough. But dad got it worse than you so we we're kinda scared.

Me: well i got it at Allsups and I'm nearly over it. As long as i take cough medicine. And fever. Its less than the modern day cold and flu. Corona is literally a joy to have over regular sinus infections and bronchitis. Shit i been sick from that crap they've let loose on their labs. For months sick. This is a wonder virus. So nice to have compared to 2013 and 2014. There was no emergency anything but the cold medicine aisle was wiped out all kinds. People were sick and dying! This? I'm all sleep for awhile, cough take medicine and that's it.

Chasity: yeah well dad had it really bad i thought he was going to die

Me: but he was working out exercise and working and

Chasity: doing cardio and all. See dad? You should stay with mom. She would take care of you. Stay in bed and have chicken soup, a few push ups and repetitive weights and back to bed. You don't have to reply but I hope you're listening.

Brian: shit she takes care of me like I'm a beast! Don't touch me! Breathe over there! We will lay back to back so you know I'm here but no breathy stuff. You want sex? Die first So i don't catch what you got then come back to life after. She is funny tho. I don't mind her so much. That last time i was sick and she was with me i was all "i feel great let me go running!" Then i went back and begged her to never let me do that again!

Chasity: you wanted to die huh?

Brian: she put me in a cool bath and I fell asleep. And I woke up and she was adding hot water. Which made me sleep more. But she left me in there alone while I was asleep! She said I was too tall to drown unless she tried to kill me so she just stopped any one but the little girls from going in. But she covered me with a towel so they couldn't see my junk in the front. And i thought it was a blanket and I was all "oh she's so sweet to bring me a blankie. What the fuck! It's wet who did this to me?! Oh that water is hot. Ouch. Good thing I'm asleep that ain't me. I always turn my own water on. No girl would bathe me. Just ask JuJu Bee. Im too ugly but then again she tells,him she calls him that because bees only sting once and Then they die and she's been stung and she's just waiting for him to die and JuJu because there's no Jesus for what he's done and over all jujuBe candy is good for nothing with no nutrient value and he should shut his face or she's gonna kick it in. What a chick. Hand me that wet towel back I'm getting cold" and you know she told me "it's hot you can't tell the difference of the temperature and the towel is in your lap you never handed it out. But some things you see in your dreams are real. Your body just doesn't know it." And I seriously woke up and I shrieked "are you trying to burn me like in that book with the grandma? You're trying to burn my balls off?!?" And I heard all this laughter but I saw her face looking directly at me not at all amused but slightly sad and I got really scared "why are you such a nightmare?!?!" I seriously shrieked and i thought she would cry but she started to laugh and she got up from the edge of the tub and suddenly a rubber ducky started to float in the tub and I grabbed her arm and said "no babe look!! Did you turn into a duck?!?! No I'm grabbing your arm what am I thinking?!" And she looked down into my eyes real deep like she does and she says "you're real beautiful don't you know?" And i let go of her arm "go on go pee. But what is that laughing you have a tape recorder or something?" She said she wished because it wasn't funny then but she knew she would laugh later. Finally she told on them two, Annabelle and Declan because she adjusted the towel and I was getting ready to throw it out but she shrieked then "no!! You need it to cover up for the kids!" And I said "well where are they?" And she moved her head slightly to the left and motioned me to shh. So i pretended to be a sea monster with a pink towel over my waist and scared the dickens out of them both. Declan looked at me in horror and said I was no fun! Me! Me! Of all people. After i was nearly pissing in my tub talking in my sleep. Shit. I knew i said some bad stuff but all i could think was that it was about sex and murder. Luckily the words that came out were sober compared to what was in my head which was drunk with power.

Chasity: so you're seriously thinking it won't be so bad then? To live with mom then with me?

Brian: I mean well..yeah now JuJu is dead and so is a lot of other people it might be a possibility.

Chasity: because dad this is really important to me So don't mislead me.

Brian: well she's not So bad... She's just a lot of work!

Me: you are a lot of work. You want to treat me like a baby and do everything

Brian: No like you're a doll! But you talk back! Sheesh! A lot too I might add! That makes the work double because then i got to think!

Me: well you don't seem to listen too badly.

Brian: Oh wow! What a compliment! That is a compliment isn't it?!

Me: yeah

Wendy: im Peter Pan's wife do you remember me? Dad you need to grow up and get a wife. Quit being a bachelor. The look isn't good on you. Or on mom. Do you hear?

Brian: yeah i hear. I am listening.

Wendy: okay good. In conclusion of the virus growth we will get back to you tomorrow, general public. And dad we hope you grow over night just as Much. Mom's been typing just over an hour and no major changes to report but now we need to get the room ready and we will have that report tomorrow. Dad thanks for the talk. We always enjoy the Tales of the Man Dressed in a Pink Towel in the Bathtub.

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thegirlwithwhitehair · 7 years

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Me rambling about my shitty life

So it all started about a month ago when I got mono. That was awful and that led to strep, hand foot and mouth, the flu, and now I have bronchitis which will probably turn into pneumonia. So basically I’m sick all the fucking time. There’s literally nothing I can do to make it better. The only thing to do is to be a lazy ass and be at home basically quarantined which I can’t do. I can’t sit at home by myself or I start to get sad. So I go out and party and have a good time. Well recently I was out having fun with my girlfriends and I got pulled over for speeding. That’s my first ever speeding ticket and it’s $160. Not too bad but not great considering I have a shit job that only pays $8 an hour. But it’s fine. I was gonna be fine. Well my cough has been getting worse and my job requires me to be around food and drinks so it’s not smart for me to be there but I also need money. My manager is mad at me rn bc of me being sick and I’m just like what am I supposed to do??? Maybe follow through with the shit you say you’re gonna and actually hire someone to help us so we aren’t constantly working. Anyway tonight I got pulled over again for not making a complete stop and got a ticket for $154. I’m so stressed right now. How does this happen to me. I have the money to pay off this shit but I don’t like my bank account going below $1000. I’m already fucked. I cried for an hour straight in my car. Idk what to do yall. I need a sugar daddy and a better job.

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sage-nebula · 7 years

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39 and 20 for Alan, maybe? Your headcanons and writing in general are a joy to read!

Of course; I’d answer all of them for Alan if someone sent me all of them, haha. And thank you very much for the compliment!

20.) Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?

Alan has had a cold every winter for pretty much his entire life. The colds are usually pretty average, just seasonal bugs, and while they last a while they’re usually not enough to take him completely out of commission. He may be more tired than normal, not eat as much as normal, and be congested and coughing, but he can still function, think clearly, and isn’t completely bogged down by fever. His colds usually aren’t that bad. (And he has never been fussy about his illnesses, either; even as a small child he was never fussy about it, very likely due to the fact that the villagers of Isolé weren’t particularly receptive to any crying or fussing from him. It tended to aggravate and make them angry more often than not, so Alan learned—even when sick—to keep any upset or pain he had to himself. It’s not like fussing would get him anything good—quite the opposite, really—so it was better to just bottle it up and suffer in silence.)

With that said, though his colds were usually not that bad, there are a few notable stories:

Some time shortly after Sycamore (unofficially) adopted him, Alan came down with a stomach flu one night. I want to say this was maybe two months after? It was terrible; Alan felt horrible, and pretty much ended up just lying on the bathroom floor all night in case he had to throw up again. This was how Sycamore found him the next morning, curled up on the linoleum, and after he got over the initial panic of finding his five-year-old assistant (read: unofficially adopted child) curled up on the floor and found out what was wrong, he first took care of him, and then told Alan that the next time he gets sick like that, he should definitely come wake Sycamore up.“But you were sleeping,” Alan said. “I don’t wanna bother you.”“You won’t be bothering me. It’s what I’m here for—to take care of you,” Sycamore said. “So always come let me know when you’re feeling ill, all right?”Alan nodded, and Sycamore smiled and ruffled his hair, but even though Alan said he understood …

A couple months after that Alan got his yearly cold, and that was easy enough for Sycamore to notice, but some time after that (maybe another few months down the line) Alan got a double ear infection, and that one Sycamore didn’t pick up on until he noticed that Alan kept grimacing and rubbing at his ears.“Alan? Is something the matter?”“No,” Alan said, but his face was still contorted in what looked like pain, and he still had his hands over his ears. Sycamore kept watching him, concerned, and finally Alan said, “My ears are just hurting a little.”‘A little’ was actually probably ‘a lot’ given the double infection, but there was no way for Sycamore to prove that. At any rate, he didn’t have any antibiotics or ear drops or anything at the house, and so this required a trip to the pediatrician—and another talk about how Alan should let Sycamore know if he’s in pain, if he’s ill, or anything like that. Sycamore won’t be bothered—he wants to know. And Alan said okay, and that he understood … … but ten to eleven years later, illnesses and injuries are still things Sycamore has to practically drag out of him before he’ll admit to them. This is one ingrained behavior that’s evidently very difficult to break.

All of that said, while Alan’s yearly colds are usually just that—just colds—he did come down with bronchitis when he was nine. This one ended up resulting in a trip to urgent care (that will be a little fic of its own), and Alan was out of commission while he recovered from the bronchitis (it took a while, and many days spent sitting on the couch with Gabby, eating soup and drinking juice while they watched cartoons together), but he was still able to heal from it relatively quickly.

He also came down with pneumonia when he was fourteen and working in Lysandre’s service. This one resulted in a trip to the straight up emergency room after he literally passed out from fever, only this time it was Lizardon who carried him there. You can read more about that incident here.

All of that said, Alan doesn’t get sick that often as he gets older (kids get sick a lot—their immune systems aren’t as strong—so illnesses like ear infections and the like were more common when he was little), and so those are the major ones. Any other little illnesses here or there weren’t very noteworthy.

39.) What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?

Before anything else, it is important to note that Alan is very much an introvert. This is probably obvious; most people would guess that he’s introverted just by looking at him, but the fact remains that just because someone is reserved and quiet doesn’t necessarily mean they’re introverted. That’s a common stereotype of introverts, but it isn’t always true. Nonetheless, it is true for Alan; he’s quite introverted, and needs time to himself (or time to himself + Lizardon, to be precise) each day. Having some time to unwind, just the two of them, is necessary for him to recharge. The activity doesn’t matter much; maybe they just lay and relax somewhere. Maybe they go flying (they both love flying). Maybe they read, or listen to music … you get the idea. Something where it’s just the two of them helps Alan relax and unwind. He needs that time each day. (So yes, even when he’s at home again, he still takes time to go flying with Lizardon, or to go sit with Lizardon each day. Before Lizardon hatched, he would retire to his room times to just read or relax, even without sleeping. He of course loves Sycamore dearly, but sometimes he just needs time to himself (+Lizardon). Sycamore understands that Alan is just introverted and doesn’t take it personally. Manon, on the other hand … she gets it eventually, but it takes some time for her to understand at first, given that she’s extroverted and doesn’t really get why Alan seems to randomly need his space.)

So, having time to himself (+Lizardon) each day is key. Time to just relax, unwind, orient himself and his thoughts, let his mind wander …

That said, a good battle can also help him. Battles take focus, concentration; they’re work, but they’re positive work, they’re positive stress. It’s exercise for both himself and Lizardon and they both enjoy it. It’s about the one social activity that really does recharge him and help him gain some energy back, even if he’s still going to want some time to himself and Lizardon afterward. It doesn’t drain him, at the very least.

With that said, all of that is talking generally. That’s talking about normal day-to-day mood adjustments, day-to-day drain. It isn’t taking into account the fact that he was emotionally abused for years on end by Lysandre, the fact that he underwent numerous incidental traumas during that time as well. C-PTSD and added depression from everything that happens (especially the things that happen in canon, all of which unfold in a compact amount of time) make the typical day-to-day drain that much worse. Canonically, Alan ends up so depressed that he can’t remember what it is to feel happy or excited about things anymore, and wonders what’s going on with him when he realizes that he does indeed genuinely feel excited about his upcoming battle with Ash. When his depression gets to be that severe, his normal recharging tactics aren’t enough to help. He still does go flying, he still does sit with Lizardon, and these things help some; but it’s not enough to truly get his mind off everything, it’s not enough to give him a proper distraction, it’s not enough to stop him from being so depressed that he, again, in his own words, is bewildered by the fact that he feels excited about something for the first time in a long time. Normal distractions aren’t enough, especially since finding a good battle is difficult by that point given that so few trainers are on his level.

Fortunately, that’s where Ash Ketchum stepped in. :)

Battling—and spending time with—Ash helps. It’s amazing, really, because Alan has such a hard time opening up to others—he’s introverted and reserved by nature, but when you factor in all of the emotional abuse and C-PTSD he’s even more so—and yet he finds a confidant that he can talk to in Ash, someone that he’s comfortable sharing his troubles with, someone that he just enjoys being around, a kindred spirit. Sycamore has to drag Alan’s troubles out of him, and Hell will have to freeze over about fifteen times before Alan will willingly show any kind of weakness or vulnerability in front of Manon, but he feels comfortable being around Ash when he’s at his lowest points, sharing that side of himself with Ash. It’s okay if Ash sees it. He doesn’t even fully understand why this is himself, but it just is and he accepts it because when he’s that critically depressed, it’s easier to just accept this one thing then add another thing to stress over to his plate. Ash, just by being himself, helps ease Alan’s emotional burdens. And it’s mystifying, but Alan accepts it. He’ll take it. He’s grateful for it. His thanking Ash three separate times during their League finals match shows that well enough.

And that’s just on the support side, but honestly, battling Ash is fun. Ash is on his level. Battling trainers who can’t last more than five minutes in battle with him doesn’t really help when he’s that critically depressed, because the battles aren’t enough to engage him, aren’t enough to demand his full attention and spirit. But battling Ash? That’s a different story. Battling Ash is engaging, it does demand his full attention. He and Lizardon have to give it their all 100% of the time in order to win. Ash goes head to head with him when they battle against each other, and that gives Alan a definite charge and boost. Again, we see this definitively in the League; none of Alan’s opponents in the League were on his level until he got to Ash, and when their finals match concluded, he felt happy and recharged for the first time in a long while (… for about five minutes before Lysandre ruined everything, of course).

So yes—generally, just taking time for himself and Lizardon recharges him, and battles can help as well. But when his depression gets very severe, well … all the normal tactics still apply, but sometimes it requires a little extra. And Ash, if he’s available, can certainly help out with that.

#my valiant dragon son #chillaaja #excessively detailed headcanon tumblr meme

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sneezehq · 8 years

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Hello! I'm not sure if you write for Yuuri K, if not I'm so sorry. I can't find a lot of accounts that commission fics for him. If you do write for him, could you make a fic where he has bronchitis in Russia, and he keeps trying to convince Victor it's just a cold until it gets really bad. Featuring "I don't like the sound of that cough." If you did this I would literally love you forever. You're amazing! :D

Thank you for your kind words! You’re so sweet! I do write for Yuuri K (I’ll write for pretty much any of the YOI characters). Also this is such a great request! Thank you for sending it. This is actually kind of funny for me, because I caught bronchitis last summer when I was studying abroad in Copenhagen and did the same thing as Yuuri. My parents had to make me go to the doctor when I got home. Anyway, I hope that you like it! Set post-series.

Russia is cold. Much colder than Japan. Yuuri had known this when he’d moved, but experiencing it firsthand was completely different. He comes down with a cold three times in the first three months he lives with Victor. It’s exhausting and annoying, but not life-threatening.

So when he wakes up yet again with a sore throat, Yuuri just sighs and resolves to power through it. It’s just getting ridiculous at this point, and he really can’t afford to miss any more training.

But this cold doesn’t progress like the others. The only symptoms are a sore throat and coughing, no runny nose or congestion like Yuuri is used to. Yuuri thinks he might have a fever too, as his and Victor’s bedroom isn’t usually this warm, but he hasn’t actually taken his temperature. That would be admitting defeat to the bitter Russian weather. Yuuri is strong. He can handle this.

Despite Yuuri’s meticulous taking of medicine, he can’t quite seem to shake this cold. His cough steadily worsens, going from occasional and throat-scraping to constant chesty coughs. They sound deep, wet, and painful, and feel about as bad as they sound. Yuuri finds himself unable to catch his breath during practice, and he knows that Victor is worried sick about him. But he’s still sure that it’s just a cold; he doesn’t need to be fussed over.

“Are you sure that this is just a cold?” Victor asks, his voice sharp with concern, as Yuuri breaks into yet another fit of coughing. It leaves him gasping for air and his eyes watering. “I don’t like the sound of that cough.”

“I’m fine, really,” Yuuri manages to wheeze out. He’s not fine. It’s hard to breathe, and his chest feels thick with congestion. But he can’t be that sick, and he hates seeing the pity in Victor’s eyes every time he gets sick from the cold.

“I don’t quite believe that,” says Victor, who is suddenly standing right in front of Yuuri. When did he get over here? He gently cups Yuuri’s face for a moment, before his face creases with a frown. “You’re burning up, love. I don’t think that this is just a cold.”

Yuuri opens his mouth to protest, but he’s cut off by another, even harsher bout of coughs. Victor rubs his back and murmurs soothingly in his ear as he coughs and coughs and coughs, barely able to take in any air. This fit is productive, and when it finally dies down, Yuuri feels slimy phlegm in his mouth. He grabs a tissue and spits surreptitiously into it.

Victor doesn’t miss it, his blue eyes dark with concern. “We’re going to the doctor,” he announces, before Yuuri can even catch his breath to argue. Not that he would at this point. Victor slings an arm around Yuuri’s shoulders, pulling him close, before grabbing the car keys and steering them to the door.

The car ride is silent aside from the radio and Yuuri’s near-constant coughs. Victor is shooting him anxious glances every few seconds; Yuuri would tell him to keep his eyes on the road, but he lacks the breath to do so.

As soon as they arrive at the doctor’s office, there’s a flurry of motion, and they don’t really get a chance to talk until they’re back in the car, heading to the pharmacy.

“Yuuri,” Victor says as soon as they get in. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were this sick?”

Yuuri takes a careful breath before responding. “I didn’t think that it was this bad.”

“I’m sure that you didn’t at first, but Yuuri,” Noticing Yuuri’s flinch, Victor softens his tone a bit. “You have bronchitis. Surely at some point you realized that it wasn’t just a cold. Why didn’t you tell me then?” Yuuri doesn’t respond, just stares down at his lap. “Yuuri?” Victor prods again. He mumbles something, but it’s far too quiet and jumbled for Victor to understand. “Can you repeat that, love?”

Finally, Yuuri raises his head; he’s still steadfastly refusing to look at Victor. “I was tired of being sick,” he begins softly. “Of getting sick from the Russian weather. And of that pitying look you keep giving me when I’m sick.”

There’s a tense silence in the car as the pull up to the drive through of the pharmacy. It isn’t until after Victor orders the prescription that he says, “I’m sorry that you keep getting sick, and I’m sorry that it seems like I’m pitying you.” Yuuri hates to be thought of as weak, after all. “I just can’t stand to see someone I love not feeling well and being unable to help.”

“Victor,” is all Yuuri is able to croak out, tears welling in his eyes. He blames the fever for making him emotional.

Victor reaches across to hug him, pulling him close to his chest. Fortunately the car is stopped, and so they sit in the car, parked in a pharmacy parking lot for a long moment.

Finally, Victor releases Yuuri and pulls back a little. He gently wipes the tears from under Yuuri’s eyes. “I don’t blame you for having difficulty adjusting to the weather. You’ve come a long way to be here.” Yuuri gives him a tiny smile of gratitude. “Just, please let me take care of you?” Victor asks, pressing a gentle kiss to Yuuri’s hand. All Yuuri can do is nod.

#victuuri #viktuuri #yuuri on ice #yuri on ice #victor nikiforov #yuri katsuki #yuuri katsuki #viktor nikiforov #fever #sickfic #bronchitis #fanfic #my writing

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canaryatlaw · 7 years

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Well, today was kind of all over the place. And when I say kinda, I mean utterly and completely, lol. So I got to sleep in. I had my alarm set for 1:30, and was kind of up before then but just drifting in and out of sleep and being lazy about it because I could. But when it did go off I got up, finished the physical therapy paperwork I was supposed to fill out, then ate breakfast and walked over there for my first appointment. Filled out some more paperwork, then met with my new PT guy. We talked about how my back has been bugging me and then I got on the table and he started like, testing my flexibility in different muscles (and was like yeah you're really flexible) then poked around different spots and figured out what was bugging me, so then we did some exercises and such and he gave me stuff to do at home. He wants me to come in twice a week, which is more often than I would've liked given how crazy my life is, but I'm willing to do whatever to get this pain under control. So after I left the PT place I debated going to the grocery store, but decided against it because 1) I wasn't supposed to be carrying stuff if I can help it now (and didn't have my cart with me and 2) I wasn't sure if I was out of CO2 cans for my sodastream and if I was I'd need to go to target tomorrow probably and and might as well get groceries then. I did, however, stop at Walgreens to pick up Claritin d, which will play into our story later. Over the past two days I've started getting a cough, really mild at first but worsening over the day today. Somewhere along the way it occurred to me that I had run out of Claritin d at some point and had neglected to replace it (I take one every day to keep my ridiculous environmental allergies under control) and of course it was the verge of spring it would make sense to have symptoms now. So I got that, and decided not to take any because it was around 4 at that point and it was 12 hour non-drowsy, and I didn't want to be up all night. After Walgreens I convinced myself to get a little treat from the ice cream shop in town which I almost never go to despite passing on a daily basis because I always feel bad about calories, but I've been working hard dammit and I deserve some reward. So I got some of their amazing back cherry ice cream in a cone and then went home. I checked my sodastream and I did have another can left, so I decided to make an instacart order instead, and while waiting for that I made Rice Krispie treats because I've been wanting to do that (I want to do from scratch caramels again at some point soon, but that would require a bigger time commitment) and also worked on finishing my opening statement and such. Once my instacart stuff got here I finished up the Rice Krispie treats and then made the Korean beef bowls I haven't made in forever that I've been craving, because they're super easy/fairly healthy (especially because I use ground turkey instead of ground beef)/totally delicious. So I sat down to watch some tv and eat and such, and hopefully keep doing some work. I watched Designated Survivor, which was another excellent episode. They have really been knocking them out of the park lately, this whole season has been totally enthralling, so major kudos to that production team. I watched trial and error, and then Riverdale, and sometime during watching Riverdale I realized I was having a growing problem with upper back pain (very specifically different from the lower back pain I'd dealt with before, this was totally new), chest pain, and a headache. I ended up lying down on my back on the couch with the heating pad under my back and just trying to focus on breathing because I didn't really know what was going on. Eventually I moved to my bed but pretty much did the same thing and eventually looked up some stuff in case I did need to go to the hospital because I just didn't know what was happening and then I made a post that probably freaked some of you out (sorry!) but as I laid there the headache and chest pain started to fade and the back pain kind of faded in and out for a while like in little episodes of a minute or so then like 3 minutes without it, but was lessening too and eventually went away. And then I was coughing again, and suddenly a lightbulb clicked somewhere in my head. 4 whole years ago now, about this time of year, I woke up with a cough out of nowhere and thought it must be allergies. Then the cough progressed into chest pain and that night I had ended up having trouble breathing (not just like catching my breath, like I would cough and then my lungs would make noises) and ended up in the ER and after a big romp around for a few weeks that landed me back in NY to finish the semester when I was already a giant ball of depression and anxiety ready to explode, and somewhere along the way we figured out I had asthmatic bronchitis, and I remembered how that made my chest hurt much like it has been in and out hurting tonight. The back pain I can only think is some odd reaction to PT today, but I hope that doesn't become a habit. The asthmatic bronchitis is just a theory at this point though, my coughing isn't nearly as bad as it had gotten at that point, so I'm crossing my fingers that taking some allergy medicine tonight and a Claritin d in the morning will do the trick because I have a very busy weekend in front of me and can't really afford to be sick. Somewhere along when I was typing this it occurred to me that of course one of the things they use to treat asthmatic bronchitis is an asthma inhaler, and I happen to have one in my bag for pretty much precisely this purpose (because God knows they've never helped any other time) so I took a few puffs of that and hopefully it will help. The whole thing is I'm supposed to serve two services in the nursery tomorrow for the Easter gatherings which are of course a very big deal, and I really don't want to be sick. Thankfully, if it's either allergies or asthmatic bronchitis, neither are contagious so as long as I'm not too miserable I at least (*hopefully*) won't get anyone else sick. I'm just really praying I don't wake up tomorrow too sick to move and have to stay in bed all weekend, because that would majorly suck on a weekend when I actually have a lot of cool stuff planned (and yes, I do define working in the nursery for 3 services as cool stuff). At some point I went over the edits my brother sent me for my trial ad stuff, he basically just fleshed out the questions some more and added more details so that's good and I glad I could use him as a resource for that. Hopefully I can get things somewhat memorized, that's the hope anyway, but Tuesday. It won't be perfect, and I'm okay with that, but I want it at least to be pretty solid. So there's that. Tomorrow the plan is to sleep and then go to church basically, and somehow acquire two bottles of wine along the way to bring to the brunch I'm going to on Sunday after church (cuz it's a "turn water into wine" brunch) which should be entertaining being that I know literally nothing about drinking wine, lol. And yeah, that's pretty much everything. I'm really really hoping this cough and chest ache that's definitely related to it goes away and it's not something I have to deal with for the rest of the weekend which would just suck a lot. Okay, that's it for now folks. Catch you tomorrow night, same blog time, same blog channel (I think I'm funny sometimes, just go with it). Goodnight dollfaces. Keep on keeping on.

#daily journal #April 2017

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twentyeightandahalfweeks · 8 years

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Dada’s In Costa Rica - A Mother’s Interpretation

BEFORE - ANXIETY JUST KICKED IN

I can't believe this day is actually here. We've been talking about it for at least a year, but now that it's actually here, it feels different. No, no we're NOT having another baby (phew!) - Jeff just left for a class abroad. “Class” is a loose term since it's only a week long, but that week will amount to a half a class's worth of credit and bring us one step closer to finishing his freakin' MBA.

It's not like it's really taken him that long in the grand scheme of life. I mean he's been going to school at night, part-time, and working, full-time, and all-in-all it took him 4 years.

The concept for this class, and classes like it, is called "Doing Business In" or DBI. It allows both part and full-time students to take a one to two week class in another country. It’s like a super accelerated semester abroad, where the student hopefully comes away with connections, shared experiences and knowledge about their host country.

Jeff and I both decided not to go abroad in college for various reasons, and on some level, I think Jeff has always thought that he missed out on something. (For reference Jeff has very intense FOMO so he always thinks he’s missed something!) So when he found out that this was an opportunity - about a year into his program - he started talking about it non stop. For one reason or another, like deaths or surgeries or the birth of our children, there was never a time frame he could commit to, until now.

He started planning and mentally prepping for his trip almost a year ago, and because we started planning so far in advance it always seemed far in the future. That is until the day actually came, January 1, 2017 to be exact, and he boarded his first class ticket (don't be that impressed he somehow checked every day until a first class ticket was going for only $350) on route to Costa Rica - leaving me with the twins for 8 days!

AFTER - SOMEHOW STILL ALIVE WHILE WRITING THIS

Well, I made it! I decided to keep everything for the twins as normal as possible. Luckily school started again on the third, so Jean came Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, like she normally does, and took them to school. Also, thankfully, January second was a Monday, and technically the business holiday, so my Dad and sister were off of work and there to help me and my Mom with the kids.

Unfortunately the twins don’t sleep very well in my parent’s house. Even though they go there all the time, and they sleep in their own cribs. Part of the reason may be that they need to sleep in the room with us and at home they have their own room. Additionally, the room we all sleep in has a TV. They are used to having noise around them all the time, so when they sleep on the second floor of a house where they can’t hear people rustling and the TV blaring it’s hard for them to feel safe. So we started to turn the TV on to keep them company - and when you start something with a toddler it’s literally NEVER ending. Now every time they even pass the room Spence says, “Barney!” AHHHHHH! (Perfect, something else they can discuss in therapy later…)

On top of everything both twins got really sick just as Jeff was getting ready to leave. Whenever they get a cold, they get bronchitis. Usually it’s Spence that starts to wheeze first, but this time it was Miri. By the end of the week we were up to four albuterol treatments a day! Thankfully by Saturday (1/7) they were all better, just dry coughs. And the coughing all night didn’t help them or me get a good night’s sleep either!

Well, I didn’t sleep well for a variety of reasons. I kept hearing creaks and cracks in the apartment and when we were at my parents I tried to keep the twins from waking up the entire house at 6am when they felt they were “all done.” Also, Jeff is usually the one that wakes up with them and changes their diapers and starts breakfast - one of his very few jobs. Look, I can do everything in the morning - change their diapers, make everyone breakfast, feed them, dress them, brush their hair, make sure they brush their teeth, make water cups and prepare snack - for a few days in a row, but after day 4 I started to lose my mind.

I really started to feel exhausted on Thursday - I made it pretty far - but that day it hit me like a TON of bricks. Then it freaking snowed, and not one to three inches as meteorologists predicted - it snowed 3-6 inches. That’s the difference between the sun melting the snow and getting out the snowblower. Of course I didn’t bring their snow pants or boots, because it wasn’t supposed to snow that much! So they just had to watch the snow from the comfort of their grandparent’s home or, when we had to get out because we were going to kill each other, from the comfort of the concierge desk at the Garden State Mall.

My parent’s saw that I looked like a mess on Sunday night and decided that it would be best if my Mom took me back to the city on Monday instead.

Everything was going well until apres nap. Then shit hit the fan! Miri is like me, she needs sleep. Spence is like Jeff, he needs sleep but he denies it. All of a sudden the lack of a proper nap for at least three days in a row and a lack of a super tight schedule around the holidays finally hit and Miri went crazy. Crying and clinging and wanting me to pick her up - but I had to collect everything to go back to NYC. As soon as my Mom started helping me pack Spence realized he wasn’t getting enough attention so he got into the action screaming and crying “up, up, up!” I CANNOT pick up both at the same time any more. My mom took Miri I picked up Spence and then the dog started going berserk.

So, there we were with two toddlers having tantrums and a dog barking and jumping for us not to leave (fyi - this is not a norm for the dog, she doesn’t like it when people leave but she doesn’t usually protest).

MEANWHILE - Jeff has spent the last week visiting coffee farms, animal reserves and the rain forest. He also took time for excursions including zip lining, ATV riding and whitewater rafting. WTF.

Look, I’m glad he had a good time, since if he put me through this and didn’t have a good time, I would explode.

I was definitely resentful, but we decided he should go. I honestly don’t know what I was hoping his trip would be - a constant classroom lecture? Slightly less exhilarating?

All I know is I am VERY, VERY grateful he’s home and my heart goes out to single moms everywhere.

#NICUmom #NICUbaby #parttimeMBA #CostaRica #NYU #DBICostaRica #Abroad #studyabroad #raisingtwins #twinlife #twinshavemorefun

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