#also I tried to balance having a few cishet people in there as well because as weird as it might be to say on a queer-heavy website

[heloflor]

Have a doc filled with Mario headcanons and wanted to share the sexualities part because fuck it, it’s still pride month.

Disclaimer since it’s relevant to this post : I headcanon that Peach, Daisy, Wario and Waluigi are all creatures from the world of the Mushroom Kingdom who look the way they do due to magic gems (those blue and green gems that Peach and Daisy have respectively). Peach is a Toad, Daisy is a Dino-Rhino (unless those flower people from Mario Bros acid trip Wonder are from her Kingdom, then again I like Daisy being a giant cool Dino, plus the trailer for Wonder showed several other big animals), not sure for Wario and Waluigi but they’re not humans. The Super Crown works the way it does because there’s one of those gems in it.

Also, since it’s briefly mentioned, what I call the “main” continent is made out of the Mushroom, Koopa, Bomb-omb, Thwomp, and Goomba kingdoms. Sarasaland (retconned into Flower Kingdom now ?) and other kingdoms are on other continents (yes I know in Superstar Saga the Beanbean kingdom is neighbors with the Mushroom. But since they never appear in other games, I’ve chosen to ignore that detail).

Anyways, onto the headcanons :

- Mario : Transmasc Aromantic Heterosexual ; he realized he’s aro after finding out Peach is a Toad and losing sexual interest in her (felt bad about it at first because he thought he fell out of love upon discovering Peach at her most vulnerable, Bowser made it worse for him by accusing him of liking her only due to her human form) ; him being transmasc is why he’s named Mario Mario (he thought it would be funny)

- Luigi : Cis Bisexual ; had a fling with Peasley + loves Daisy ; he’s gender non-conforming and sometimes shares clothes with Peach, he also trains his voice to be higher-pitched for the heck of it (+ it can help in case he has to take Peach’s place for a kidnapping)

- Peach : Demiromantic Pansexual ; is cis-passing in human form but is technically transfem due to being a Toad

- Bowser : Omnisexual ; Cis tho I like the idea of him being transmasc and birthing Junior’s egg

- Yoshi and Birdetta are T4T + poly (hence Birdetta flirting with others) ; Birdetta’s eggs aren’t actually eggs (insert joke about her “eggs” being white) ; not sure if “all Yoshis that lay eggs are female” but at least all those that lay eggs that can be fertilized are female (and on that note YOSHI MIGHT BE CANONICALLY TRANSMASC ???!!!) ; Yoshi is straight while Birdetta is plurisexual (bi/pan/omni etc)

- Daisy : Straight + intersex + transfem (imagine if Prince Haru from the 1986 movie was her appearance pre-transition, but remove the whole “Peach’s fiancé” part of the plot, or the plot as a whole since the events of this movie didn’t happen here, just keep Haru’s design as “Daisy before transitioning”)

- Big fan of the headcanon that Kamek is gay ; he doesn’t date because 1. He’s busy 2. He’s getting too old for this 3. He’s devoted to his son and grandchildren which takes all his free time

- Depending on which creature he is Wario would be cishet though I could also see him be plurisexual (bi/pan/omni/other label that has to do with dating more than one gender ; I like putting diversity in queer headcanons but I’m not the most knowledgeable on labels past the most common ones)

- Not sure for Rosalina, either aroace or she’s allo but just stays single due to her life situation ; probably non-binary (she/it, could also be a play on the fact that some see her as some kind of goddess)

- Pauline is Cis Lesbian and her and Mario parted on good terms after he came out as trans on top of other reasons (basically they still care a lot about each other but realized they were better off as friends, the whole “unknown aro + transmasc with lesbian” simply gave them an easier excuse to break up)

- Really not sure for Bowser's kids, the only ideas that are "set in stone" are that Ludwig is gay, Wendy is attracted to boys (doesn't meant she can't like girls), Lemmy is demi-boy (they/him) and Morton is attracted to girls (like Wendy it doesn't close the door for liking men).

Not sure for the rest, though I could see Iggy using he/neopronouns (likely xe/xem) and at least one of them being interesex. Btw the older kids say they don’t date because they’re busy with royal duties but the truth is they are just incredibly awkward + they can’t ask their dad for advice since he’s a romantic disaster

- I could see Toadsworth be aroace, since even in his younger years he cared more about raising his surrogate daughter than dating + he never pressures Peach into marrying ? In general he doesn’t seem to care about romance ? ; he’s also transmasc because Toad

- After seeing Bowser’s Inside Story and the beginning of Dream Team, Starlow is a lesbian crushing on Peach (is very buddy-buddy with Peach despite barely knowing her, makes a big deal out of Peach being kept safe, calls her “Peach” instead of “Princess” from the get go, at times seems to see Peach as the best person in the room)

- Toads and Goombas are naturally agender because mushrooms ; some choose to express a specific gender (ex Toadsworth, Toadette, Peach, the Toads and Goombas from the first two Paper Mario) ; some may use gendered pronouns even if their presentation doesn’t display any specific gender (ex Captain Toad using he/him despite looking like any other Toad) ; basically every Toad/Goomba that use gendered pronouns (or neopronouns) is technically trans and/or non-binary ; cisgender Toads/Goombas go by they/it ; the Super Crown gem gives the shape the Toad see themselves as but it doesn’t have to be cis-passing or even gender conforming, can be androgyne (Daisy took a while to figure herself out, hence her gem giving her Haru’s look at first ; she's not from an agender species but the way the gems work still applies to hers, hence mentioning how her being trans worked on that front)

- That previous point implies either all Toads have the same metabolism and thus all grow facial hair (Peach having to shave tho) or they have mushrooms that serves as HRT for those who want more “masculine” or “feminine” traits (hair/facial hair and tone of voice) ; the color of their hats has nothing to do with gender for Toads (ignore Nintendo’s weird obsession with making every female character in the Mario franchise pink)

- Sexual dimorphism in general is very rare/limited in this world (only the Beanbean kingdom has it ?), in “main” continent, Koopas are the ones where it’s the most present and even then it’s very minimal (genitals, who can lay eggs, possibly size but even then not really since Pom Pom is the only one smaller than her male counterpart, Wendy and other female Koopas aren’t particularly small)

- Toads (and other species) experimenting with gender could be due to seeing Koopas make the distinction between “male” and “female” and finding the idea of changing your appearance based on how you feel to be fun (even though you have the concept of male and female Koopas, there’s no transphobia in Bowser’s kingdom) ; by that point it’s common for Toads to change however they feel and go by any pronouns they want, just because they’re aware of the concepts of masculinity and femininity doesn’t mean they have to follow it to the letter with their pronouns unless they want to

- On that note, I could see Toadette as genderfluid, though she most often goes by she/her ; I could also see one or several of the other main Toads (Ala Gold, Bucken Berry, Captain Toad, "The" Red ToadTM) be bi-gender

- Not sure what’s going on with Waluigi but he’s definitely queer

[im-the-punk-who]

Idk if ur the right person to send this to so feel free to ignore if you aren't but I'm beginning to realize that I might be a trans guy after years of thinking I'm enby and I'm really struggling with that? I've received a lot of the messages over the years about how men are bad and violent and I've also experienced a lot of gender based violence before I was out. I know intellectually that there's nothing wrong with manhood and yet I'm still really struggling. Idk do you have any thoughts on learning to accept your own manhood

Okay! Sorry this took a few days to answer but this is...definitely still a complicated thing for me, too.

First off I wanna say that whether you end up identifying as a binary trans man or somewhere in between that and nonbinary, that is very cool and valid and all of this can apply no matter where on the spectrum of masculinity you ultimately end up falling.

I saw a post which explains the basic thesis of what I'm gonna say, which is that your gender does not equal your morality. 

Tumblr in particular really likes to go hard on the misandry and it can be really hard not to internalize that. Especially when it comes in the form of so many jokes, and especially especially when some of it does line up with experiences you’ve had. The biggest thing to realize, is that just *being a man* doesn't make you inherently violent or toxic or bad. All of the things that Tumblr and feminism in general tends to equate to “being a man = bad” are things that are learned or encouraged over time, no matter how much terfs like to insist they are traits inherent in being born with a y chromosome. 

(And yes, these misandry arguments ALL have their basis in gender essentialism and in arguing why trans people can’t exist.)

As this relates to trans men, it becomes akin to walking a tightrope our entire lives. In both society at large and LGBT spaces we're made to fit as close as possible into gender norms to avoid violence or oppression(or the insistence we’re really just lesbians or self-hating cishets). But we also have first hand experience of the ways in which men are *socialized* to behave being harmful and don’t want to perpetuate them and be labeled a ‘bad person’. So we have to constantly walk this line of, I suppose trying to act manly enough while also trying not to cause waves (And, AS A NOTE, does that sound eerily similar to the argument most feminists say is purely a feminine experience? Is it almost like the very system that seeks to free cis women through hatred of men perpetrates those exact same systems onto other marginalized communities?)

And I will say, this is something I still struggle with. A lot. It's not going to be something you can take a magic pill for and never have to worry about again. I started transitioning almost a decade ago and I'm still trying to find the balance. Cis men can spend their *whole lives* trying to find that balance. I know quite a few - in case it feels like this is a purely trans experience. Reckoning with the way that male privilege has socialized men to harm at the same time radical feminism has socialized everyone it can that all men intentionally cause harm is a universal experience among men who are aware of it. 

It's not easy, and I guess just...if you feel like you're struggling on that front as you continue your gender journey(Laynie i hate you i hate you i hate you) try to remind yourself that you're not alone. And that what you’re fighting against is a systemic socialization, not something inherent in yourself. You’re going to screw up - that doesn't make you a bad person or a bad man.

I listen a lot to Brene Brown. 

I know people are probably sick of hearing me talk about her, but she is a shame researcher who honestly helped me a LOT in realizing why I was feeling so bad about parts of my personality or my gender expression. She’s excellent. If you find you’re having a lot of trouble reckoning with being this thing you have perceived as bad for a very long time, I highly recommend listening to some of her ted talks and other speeches. Most of them are on youtube. 

For a long time I was trying to base my gender off of what I thought people would love. I went over the top, dressed in popular styles, was WAY more feminine than I actually feel, and tried to make myself as unassuming as possible - in part because of childhood trauma but also because I was genuinely ashamed to be a man(particularly a gay man) because I had internalized the idea that men - especially gay men - were woman-haters. (And, because I hated *myself* as a woman, I thought that I also hated women, and I thought that I must be one of those Bad Gays.)

But once I stopped trying to do that? Once I was like ‘no I’m actually a gay-up man’ and stopped berating myself for not liking my feminie body and hating the parts of myself that I didn’t identify with but felt forced to perform? Once I started looking at what made *me* happy and not other people? It became so much easier to not feel those things. 

SO I guess, what I’m saying is that the best way to deal with internalized misandry is to try to forgive yourself, and recognize that the things that men perpetrated against you and that people say are ‘toxic male traits’ are not *inherent* to being a man. They are things that are taught to men(both cis and trans) by society. And also that like, these are also things that are not just inherent to men. Any toxic trait that a man exhibits a woman can too - and yeah there’s a discussion about how the general power imbalance between men and women makes it less likely a woman would cause as much damage but honestly? If you’re on tumblr you’re most likely in female dominated spaces where arguably that isn’t true, especially with the number of fucking TERFS on this website. 

Also....you do not inherit cismale privilege just by identifying as a man. No matter how far you take your transition, you are *always* going to be at a different level of privilege from a cisman. Even if you transition as far as you are able to right now and live and pass as a cisman for the rest of your life, you are not a cisman and that is going to affect how you move through the world.

(That doesn’t mean you are not a *man* because you are not cis, btw. Just that there are things that cismen don’t have to worry about that are going to affect your life - things like ovarian cancer, breast cancer, hormonal dependence, corrective abuse, medical shortages, physical differences that out transpeople - there are a hundred things that trans men have to experience throughout their lives that cismen are never, ever going to deal with. And yes, this goes for transwomen / cis women as well.)

Something that helped me become comfortable living as a man was to look at specific traits of the men in my life. Why did I feel comfortable around this man, but not others, what red flags physically or emotionally did this behavior set off in me? And then focusing on those specific *behaviors* rather than the men themselves. If you can separate the individual traits from an overarching idea of 'manhood' that might be helpful in feeling like you can inhabit manhood without being toxic. 

Basically, my best advice is to tell yourself that what makes you a man does not make you inherently toxic. In fact what makes *all* men, men, does not make them inherently toxic. Men are not trash just because they’re men, and the fight against misandry *is* a fight for marginalized people. It hurts transmasculine people in exactly the ways you are hurting. No matter what TERFs say - no matter what male-critical or whatever they’re calling themselves to not have to call themselves TERFs say - men are not born evil, or bad, or trash. 

Toxic masculinity is a learned behavior. It is not something you are given the day you start identifying as a man, and it is not something you have to perpetuate. 

Calling it anything else does a disservice to everyone who identifies as masculine of center but especially trans men, who have to reckon with this exact knowledge that in affirming who they are, certain people are going to hate them and call them monsters and tell them they are trash and unworthy of loving without hurting. 

And that shit just isn’t true. It isn’t fucking true! Men are not toxic just because they are men, and you are not a bad person just because you are a transman. That’s, I suppose, the best advice I can offer you. I hope it helps, and I also just want to reiterate that I hope you find affirmation in whatever you end up deciding. <3 <3 <3

[ocheeva]

my son @demonbeau tagged me to list ten bangers but i don’t like

listen to music. 

so have ten fictional podcast recs instead?

1. the strange case of starship iris - the queerest sci fi podcast. main cast are two wlw, a trans man, a nonbinary alien, and their captain. intrigue! mystery! conspiracies! ancient alien languages! GAY!

2. the adventure zone: balance - first (and best) story of the podcast (imo). three boys and their dad play d&d. one moment you’re sitting there like ‘lol their dad just seduced a plant’ and a couple of episodes later you’re crying. wlw/mlm and trans characters.

3. wooden overcoats - useless siblings and their extremely skilled assistant run a funeral home on a tiny island. some dingdong opens another one. multiple gay/bi characters. no one is better than antigone though. shut up.

4. the penumbra podcast - okay maybe this is the queerest sci fi podcast. noir story set on mars. black nb bi main character. he’s an absolute disaster, a detective who pretends he doesn’t care but omg DOES HE EVER. tons and tons of lgbtq+ characters. like at this point i doubt there’s a single cishet person on mars. also a side story feat. knights (one’s a lesbian, p sure one of the men is bi/pan) and monsters and a cool scientist woman. a few one-shots as well. 

5. SAYER - hey let’s put humans in colonies in space and also let’s have a super-AI run the facilities! that’s a great idea! eerie & unsettling but interesting. it takes a long while before we hear any voice besides SAYER’s own. 

6. wolf 359 - amazing. incredible. research station orbits the red dwarf wolf 359. a dingdong of a communications officer, a russian scientist with questionable ethics at best, a glitchy AI, and a capable and awesome commander. more spectacular characters join later. an incredibly emotional journey. maybe my most favourite podcast ever.

7. limetown - a woman working as an investigative reporter tries to figure out what happened when three hundred people just fucking disappeared from a neuroscience research facility. the x-files of podcasts. first season is only six episodes, second season is coming this halloween. perfect time to get on board!

8. we’re alive - your average zombie apocalypse. downsides: only one wlw, everyone else is straight afaik. kinda sexist. okay, pretty sexist. main characters are some army dudes. good stuff: cool storytelling, some very good characters, the poc are few and far between but get good stories. the action is great, the tension is too. worth listening to for Datu because he’s SUCH a sweetheart. also don’t listen to the second series (we’re alive - lockdown) because it’s just. uncomfortable in so many ways.

9. the bridge - there’s a transcontinental bridge. there are watchtowers broadcasting information to those driving across the atlantic. there are also roadside attractions and hotels and... there’s Some Shit happening at these. 

10. EOS 10 - ryan, a young doctor and recovering addict, comes to the space station that shares its name with the podcast. he hangs out with an old alcoholic doctor (who sobers up and is Not Happy about it), a cool nurse (JANE!), a deposed hypocondriac prince, and sometimes a renowned criminal. every side character has the hots for ryan. three people in the main cast have expressed an attraction to multiple genders (everyone except the alcoholic) and some minor characters are confirmed gay/bi/pan as well. you get some heavy content related to addiction and then... an episode that’s all dick jokes right after. 

-

i’m supposed to tag people but will i? no. mostly because i broke the rules but also because asking people to list songs when i don’t care feels disingenuine. come talk to me about some podcasts though!

[notmoreflippingelves]

please answer 1-6, 18, and 26 from the Salty Ask List (especially for Father Brown, of course. ;op)

What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?*

Sooooo many. I have this thing where I’m fundementally incapable of shipping the most popular ship in any big fandom. I don’t know if it’s hype backlash or if I’m just naturally drawn toward smaller, less mainstream ships. There are a few exceptions (ex: Jim/Pam, Ron/Hermione, Disney canon ships) but even in those cases, I tend to be more lowkey into them. 

I also have this weird squirk about platonic soulmates turning romantic and an even bigger squirk on mentor/protege ships. (It just always feels like there’s an unequal power balance which makes me uncomfortable).

So yeah, you can imagine how many ships my mind has already sunk before they launch. 

In terms of Fr. Brown specifically, any serious romantic ships between  the core members of the squad (Fr. B, Mrs. M, Sid, Lady F, Bunty). I can ship them with others (Susie, Sullivan, Flambeau, etc) but not with each other.  I don’t mind past casual no-strings-attached dynamic between Sid/Felicia but like lately there’s been some serious romance stuff and just…no. 

Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?*

Again soooo many.

Harry/Hermione, Lewis/Hobson/Hathaway, Doctor/Rose, SwanQueen, Supercorp, Joanbell, Merthur (and even BrOTP is a bit of a stretch at this point considering how DONE I am with Artie), any time someone tries to ship one of Marvel Avengers with each other, Jafael (and again the BrOTP is a stretch), Wolfstar, Han/Luke, Sybil/Branson, Silverflint, Fr. Brown/Flambeau.

Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

I tend to unfollow people primarily when their SJ posting starts to resemble bullying/ harassment more than it does advocacy. Sometimes that goes hand-in-hand with fandom opinions, (ex: “If you don’t spend every waking minute of your day fantasizing about x-fictional character’s violent death, you are white cishet scum who deserves to be killed along with your entire family.”) 

However, the most petty reason I ever unfollowed someone was because they were a Julia-Louis Dreyfus stan who went on and on about how every year she deserved ALL the awards and that there was no one else who ever even deserved to be nominated apparently. And like, I like JLD well enough (especially during her Seinfeld days), but I got so tired of her winning (or at least being the heavy favorite) year after year after year…while other deserving candidates (particularly Amy Poehler for Parks and Rec) came up empty, despite delivering equally strong/stronger performances. 

(Also I’m a bit of a hipster when it comes to Veep, since I was a TTOI fan first, and I still believe it was the stronger show writing-wise and it has never gotten the accolades/attention that Veep does. So I’m always kind of lowkey bitter about Veep’s success.

So yeah, I really got tired of hearing about JLD over and over and over again, especially when I had followed that person for something different and  just kept getting more of the same. 

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?*

This should be fairly obvious given the above but YES and YES. Merthur is probably the biggest name example though.

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?*

Fandom has ruined both SwanQueen and CaptainSwan for me (not that I was ever particularly invested in either). And the Supergirl fandom is well on its way to ruining Supercorp for me. (I was onboard until the fans started bringing Melissa’s marriage into it.) The Merthur stans not only ruined any BrOTP feelings I had about that pairing but also the entire Merlin fandom as a whole. 

Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?*

Hate is a strong word and not entirely applicable. But fandom did make me consider a lot of pairings I would never have otherwise, such as Draco/Luna, Winn/James, Bunty/Susie, Sid/Sullivan and more. :)

 Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased?

This is actually something I struggled a lot with initially and still have some residual conflicting feelings about--especially given that some of the pairings that I tend to ship instead of the juggernaut pairing are niche at best. So I used to be much less vocal about my shipping preferences, because I wanted to avoid getting hate and because I myself worried that I was in denial/delusional about it. I’ve finally reached a relatively healthy mindset, but it took a long, long time. Which is why I’m always careful not to spread too much ship hate, cause I don’t want anyone else to feel this way. 

26. Most shippable character?

For me, probably Jean Innocent or Luna Lovegood. I have exhausted the number of shipping possibilities.