#in a perfect world; there would be no difference between cishet and queer; so I had to put a few here

[heloflor]

Have a doc filled with Mario headcanons and wanted to share the sexualities part because fuck it, it’s still pride month.

Disclaimer since it’s relevant to this post : I headcanon that Peach, Daisy, Wario and Waluigi are all creatures from the world of the Mushroom Kingdom who look the way they do due to magic gems (those blue and green gems that Peach and Daisy have respectively). Peach is a Toad, Daisy is a Dino-Rhino (unless those flower people from Mario Bros acid trip Wonder are from her Kingdom, then again I like Daisy being a giant cool Dino, plus the trailer for Wonder showed several other big animals), not sure for Wario and Waluigi but they’re not humans. The Super Crown works the way it does because there’s one of those gems in it.

Also, since it’s briefly mentioned, what I call the “main” continent is made out of the Mushroom, Koopa, Bomb-omb, Thwomp, and Goomba kingdoms. Sarasaland (retconned into Flower Kingdom now ?) and other kingdoms are on other continents (yes I know in Superstar Saga the Beanbean kingdom is neighbors with the Mushroom. But since they never appear in other games, I’ve chosen to ignore that detail).

Anyways, onto the headcanons :

- Mario : Transmasc Aromantic Heterosexual ; he realized he’s aro after finding out Peach is a Toad and losing sexual interest in her (felt bad about it at first because he thought he fell out of love upon discovering Peach at her most vulnerable, Bowser made it worse for him by accusing him of liking her only due to her human form) ; him being transmasc is why he’s named Mario Mario (he thought it would be funny)

- Luigi : Cis Bisexual ; had a fling with Peasley + loves Daisy ; he’s gender non-conforming and sometimes shares clothes with Peach, he also trains his voice to be higher-pitched for the heck of it (+ it can help in case he has to take Peach’s place for a kidnapping)

- Peach : Demiromantic Pansexual ; is cis-passing in human form but is technically transfem due to being a Toad

- Bowser : Omnisexual ; Cis tho I like the idea of him being transmasc and birthing Junior’s egg

- Yoshi and Birdetta are T4T + poly (hence Birdetta flirting with others) ; Birdetta’s eggs aren’t actually eggs (insert joke about her “eggs” being white) ; not sure if “all Yoshis that lay eggs are female” but at least all those that lay eggs that can be fertilized are female (and on that note YOSHI MIGHT BE CANONICALLY TRANSMASC ???!!!) ; Yoshi is straight while Birdetta is plurisexual (bi/pan/omni etc)

- Daisy : Straight + intersex + transfem (imagine if Prince Haru from the 1986 movie was her appearance pre-transition, but remove the whole “Peach’s fiancé” part of the plot, or the plot as a whole since the events of this movie didn’t happen here, just keep Haru’s design as “Daisy before transitioning”)

- Big fan of the headcanon that Kamek is gay ; he doesn’t date because 1. He’s busy 2. He’s getting too old for this 3. He’s devoted to his son and grandchildren which takes all his free time

- Depending on which creature he is Wario would be cishet though I could also see him be plurisexual (bi/pan/omni/other label that has to do with dating more than one gender ; I like putting diversity in queer headcanons but I’m not the most knowledgeable on labels past the most common ones)

- Not sure for Rosalina, either aroace or she’s allo but just stays single due to her life situation ; probably non-binary (she/it, could also be a play on the fact that some see her as some kind of goddess)

- Pauline is Cis Lesbian and her and Mario parted on good terms after he came out as trans on top of other reasons (basically they still care a lot about each other but realized they were better off as friends, the whole “unknown aro + transmasc with lesbian” simply gave them an easier excuse to break up)

- Really not sure for Bowser's kids, the only ideas that are "set in stone" are that Ludwig is gay, Wendy is attracted to boys (doesn't meant she can't like girls), Lemmy is demi-boy (they/him) and Morton is attracted to girls (like Wendy it doesn't close the door for liking men).

Not sure for the rest, though I could see Iggy using he/neopronouns (likely xe/xem) and at least one of them being interesex. Btw the older kids say they don’t date because they’re busy with royal duties but the truth is they are just incredibly awkward + they can’t ask their dad for advice since he’s a romantic disaster

- I could see Toadsworth be aroace, since even in his younger years he cared more about raising his surrogate daughter than dating + he never pressures Peach into marrying ? In general he doesn’t seem to care about romance ? ; he’s also transmasc because Toad

- After seeing Bowser’s Inside Story and the beginning of Dream Team, Starlow is a lesbian crushing on Peach (is very buddy-buddy with Peach despite barely knowing her, makes a big deal out of Peach being kept safe, calls her “Peach” instead of “Princess” from the get go, at times seems to see Peach as the best person in the room)

- Toads and Goombas are naturally agender because mushrooms ; some choose to express a specific gender (ex Toadsworth, Toadette, Peach, the Toads and Goombas from the first two Paper Mario) ; some may use gendered pronouns even if their presentation doesn’t display any specific gender (ex Captain Toad using he/him despite looking like any other Toad) ; basically every Toad/Goomba that use gendered pronouns (or neopronouns) is technically trans and/or non-binary ; cisgender Toads/Goombas go by they/it ; the Super Crown gem gives the shape the Toad see themselves as but it doesn’t have to be cis-passing or even gender conforming, can be androgyne (Daisy took a while to figure herself out, hence her gem giving her Haru’s look at first ; she's not from an agender species but the way the gems work still applies to hers, hence mentioning how her being trans worked on that front)

- That previous point implies either all Toads have the same metabolism and thus all grow facial hair (Peach having to shave tho) or they have mushrooms that serves as HRT for those who want more “masculine” or “feminine” traits (hair/facial hair and tone of voice) ; the color of their hats has nothing to do with gender for Toads (ignore Nintendo’s weird obsession with making every female character in the Mario franchise pink)

- Sexual dimorphism in general is very rare/limited in this world (only the Beanbean kingdom has it ?), in “main” continent, Koopas are the ones where it’s the most present and even then it’s very minimal (genitals, who can lay eggs, possibly size but even then not really since Pom Pom is the only one smaller than her male counterpart, Wendy and other female Koopas aren’t particularly small)

- Toads (and other species) experimenting with gender could be due to seeing Koopas make the distinction between “male” and “female” and finding the idea of changing your appearance based on how you feel to be fun (even though you have the concept of male and female Koopas, there’s no transphobia in Bowser’s kingdom) ; by that point it’s common for Toads to change however they feel and go by any pronouns they want, just because they’re aware of the concepts of masculinity and femininity doesn’t mean they have to follow it to the letter with their pronouns unless they want to

- On that note, I could see Toadette as genderfluid, though she most often goes by she/her ; I could also see one or several of the other main Toads (Ala Gold, Bucken Berry, Captain Toad, "The" Red ToadTM) be bi-gender

- Not sure what’s going on with Waluigi but he’s definitely queer

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 4.5/5

Book Blurb: In the Remixed Classics series, authors from marginalized backgrounds reinterpret classic works through their own cultural lens to subvert the overwhelming cishet, white, and male canon. Queer star-crossed love amid a centuries-old feud takes center stage in this Romeo & Juliet remix that knows sometimes, the best way is to make it gay.

Verona, Italy. Seventeen-year-old aspiring artist Romeo dreams of a quiet life with someone who loves him just as he is. But as the heir to the Montague family, he is expected to give up his "womanly" artistic pursuits and uphold the family honor—particularly in their centuries-old blood feud with a rival family, the Capulets. Worse still, he is also expected to marry a well-bred girl approved by his parents and produce heirs. But the more Romeo is forced to mingle with eligible maidens, the harder it is to keep his deepest secret: He only feels attracted to other boys.

In an attempt to forget his troubles for just one night, Romeo joins his cousin in sneaking into a Capulet party. During a fateful encounter in the garden, he meets the kindest, most beautiful boy he's ever met, and is shocked to learn he's Valentine, the younger brother of one of his closest friends. He is even more shocked to discover that Valentine is just as enamored with Romeo as Romeo is with him.

So begins a tender romance that the boys must hide from their families and friends, each of them longing for a world where they could be together without fear. And as the conflict between the Montagues and Capulets escalates out of control, Romeo and Valentine find themselves in danger of losing each other forever—if not by society's scorn, then by the edge of a blade.

Review:

A queer reimagining of Romeo and Juliet where Romeo is gay and in love with his best friend's brother and Juliet is aro-ace??? YES PLEASE. Romeo is an aspiring artist, just looking to pursue his passion and be freed of the demands of his family to marry because he has a deep dark secret, he is not interested in women at all. Romeo has tried putting off all the marriage proposals and prolonging it for as long as possible yet when his best friend's brother Valentine finally comes back into town, Romeo knows he's found the one. Romeo knows that his love for Valentine is forbidden and with the tensions in the city rising and the Capulet and Montague families rising, blood will be spilled. Then there is Juliet, the counterpart to Romeo, a girl who wants nothing more than to be freed from the arranged marriage to someone she doesn't want that her family is forcing her into. Juliet is willing to do anything to be freed even come up with a very insane plan for both her and Romeo to make it out of Verona with their lives. This was such a fun take on the classic story and I loved the queer take on the classic. The ending was perfect and I would definitely recommend this for anyone who is a fan of the classic or for anyone who ever thought that maybe Romeo and Juliet should have ended differently!

*Thanks Netgalley and Macmillan Children's Publishing Group, Feiwel & Friends for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[babyspacebatclone]

@dameferre , I’m going to be replying to this post like this because I’m trying to keep my blog Spoiler Free for the Barbie movie atm, but I really wanted to agree and discuss with you!

I definitely agree that, even in the modern era, the discussion about “Queerness” is more than just having characters in media who loudly identify as somehow not CisHet or showing a romantic attraction to a non-heteronormatice partner.

Being Queer is about the Queer experience, and there are a lot of aspects about that, and the romance/sexuality/gender portion is only part of that!

Yes, Weird Barbie is Queer, because her inability to conform to the other’s expectations of “Being Barbie” is so Queer!!! And it’s multi layered: She’s the most Horny on Main Barbie shown, so she doesn’t confirm to her “designed” sexuality, she’s not “pretty” and “perfect” and so she embodies a divergent “gender presentation.” In one character, she’s all the “Active” elements of Queer, ostracized but still not conforming until she just “Owns it” and loudly acts her Queerness as a choice to be herself.

And then we have Stereotypical Barbie, who doesn’t have to be AroAce but you can bet I’m headcanoning her that way!!! Her lack of desire for a romantic partner is significant, even if it was “normal” for Barbie World, because she chooses to become a human and confront all the heteronormative expectations there.

And the movie ends with her beautiful, head turning, embracing her female body (Barbie needing to see a specialized doctor for her new genitalia is somewhere on a Trans or Intersex spectrum and I will bite anyone who argues!) - and never shown to have any new romantic needs to accompany her other life changes.

Somehow who, even if they appear to slot nicely into a CisHet identity, has still gone through the indelible Queer experience of having emotions and body perceptions and everything else divergent from the “mainstream” of either world.

And can we talk about Ken going through the experience of being an internalized homophobic Gay or Trans person???

Someone who’s so scared of what they are inside and believe others will not accept or respect them that they embody all the toxic elements of what they think they have to be in order to convince others “No, really, I’m strong, there’s no reason to abuse me, I’m the one that will follow the rulebook for presentation and therefore I will have the power.”

Despite never feeling comfortable or happy as either Stereotypical Ken or Patriarchal Ken?? Admitting out loud that he hated everything he’d done and insisted was “really” him at his most blatant, all because of his own fears about not being loved and respected for himself?

Having to find something a little in-between, not Barbie’s Boyfriend but also not Patriarchal; just Kenough?

I’m so gender agnostic I present as Cis because I literally don’t care, so someone else can correct me, but I’d argue that’s a neopronoun, something new that describes his Queer experience as he works through and heals his internalized homophobia???

And Allan, just…. Allan.

Yes, we need more same sex and bi couples in media. We need more clear cut representations of Trans and Intersex and more diverse gender presentations.

But saying the Barbie movie is “heteronormative” when the literal entire plot is neither Ken nor Barbie ended up happy with what they were made and told to be, decided they needed something other than a romantic/sexual relationship, did not get paired up with someone else as a “consolation prize,” and ended the movie choosing their own presentations, no matter how hard it would be going forwards, how unpathed, how different from everyone else they’d ever been told to be like.

Literally, what can be more Queer than Barbie saying “Fuck the boyfriend, I’m going to go get magic bottom surgery!”

…..

Ok, Barbie practicing contact splits with Weird Barbie, I’ll give you that one. 😜

[kongthapatom]

On why P’Aof nailed queer representation & we should convince all of humanity to watch Bad Buddy

Ok so let’s talk about the ending of episode 11 because rewatching it gave me very emotional revelations from a queer person’s perspective.

So far, I had only understood in periphery that homophobia had been removed from the story’s universe and the rivalry between the families was being used as a stand-in for homophobia where if this was a typical gay drama, it would’ve been the problem the protagonists had to overcome. And this is also what makes Bad Buddy all the more special, that this is the enemies to lovers trope we’ve seen hundreds of times before but in a queer context. The authenticity with which the queer rep was being written (and written so beautifully at that) for the first time was beyond impressive. It is not an exaggeration to say we’ve been waiting our whole lives to watch this unproblematic show. 

But this alternate reality sequence comes full circle to prove that the show has been employing the family feud as a clever metaphor for homophobia throughout the show. The imaginary scenes felt like daggers to my heart and the final nail in my coffin because I realized PatPran in their universe are going through the inherently queer struggle of bringing your lover home to meet the family like the rest of us. It hits right home because this is a problem queer people are all too familiar with.

The Queer Dream

“What would it have been like if our families weren't enemies?" is synonymous to "What if our families weren't homophobic?” or “What if we had come home with a cishet partner?" It is a question queer people have been plagued by and cannot escape wondering at some point of their lives. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve agonized over this thought since the day I realized I wasn’t straight. It’s impossible not to be haunted by it. If only I was straight, if only the person I love / I’m going to love was also straight.

PatPran’s dream is the same queer dream that all of us hold deep in our hearts, many of us without knowing if it can actually happen in our lifetime, or having accepted that it won’t.

This sequence embodies the queer hopes and dreams of familial acceptance that screams, if only we were straight, we could enjoy all the privileges that come to others so easily. I could introduce you as my lover, we could enter through the door instead of the window. My parents would love you and accept you as part of our family. I could love you in broad daylight instead of secrecy. I could spend a lifetime loving you instead of having to part with you despite having done nothing different from what all the cishet people in the world have done. If only.

“If only” has been the tragic summary of many queer people’s reality that we are still actively trying to change. The answer to these questions is that we would’ve naturally been granted our heart’s desires without having to fight so hard for it, we would’ve been welcomed with open arms and fit right into the family. Simply put, it is a straight privilege that queer people have not yet been able to witness in most parts of Asia.

In this moment, the metaphorical lines blurred and I felt like the reality all queer people want was being snatched away from PatPran, who after all represent us in their universe. And I think that is the emotion they intended us to feel. To drive it home that this is a very real problem and make us examine what we feel when these fictional characters we love so dearly are subjected to emotional trauma/homophobia. Because if the average heteronormative viewer is able to understand the weight of loss that awaits them and can realize they as a viewer do not condone it happening even via a fictional lens, it can perhaps create more serious ripples to promote progress in real life. To make them realize, are these characters in the wrong to yearn for what every couple yearns for? 

What was the purpose of this scene?

This dream sequence would’ve been the perfect ending if it was real, right? This is after all everything we want to see, for our favorite characters who have been through so much to be embraced by their families, and years of family feud to finally end because their sons fell in love. And love as we know conquers everything. There is no better ending to this story. And yet! They showed it as an imaginary montage to take us to the very end of the rope. The so-called episode 11 curse left us gut-wrenched but only to make us feel the same pain that every queer person has inevitably faced. (Let’s see if this family reunion becomes real next week. Spoiler: it probably will). 

This scene serves a dual purpose, to remind queer people we are not alone in feeling this way and to remind the average viewer who hasn’t been liberated from heteronormativity that love is completely blind to manmade boundaries like gender constructs. Watching PatPran go through the same struggle we do has made me feel seen, heard, represented and reassured by a piece of queer media like I’ve never felt before in my life.

I know this scene is heartbreaking but I also love it precisely because of the haunting and masterful way in which it was executed. I know this scene can easily win the hearts of so many people, change the minds of those who need that gay epiphany, especially parents. Bad Buddy has created a powerful story that can resonate with all of humanity and bring about actual change in Asian households. Think about all the queer kids are going to watch Bad Buddy with their homophobic parents one day who will finally understand how queer love is no different from straight love. This scene alone is powerful enough to overthrow the strongest prejudice anyone has against queer people, if they can muster a shred of compassion and a willingness to understand their kids.

What will happen next?

Ultimately, I see it as PatPran taking one for the team. They separated today so thousands of real queer people don't have to in the future. I really believe that. (We will get to see their happy ending and this montage come alive in episode 12! I’m speaking it into existence!) If you can take a step back from being an invested fan and see what Bad Buddy has done for the queer community, you’ll feel glad for the time and effort that went into creating this story for us.

Bad Buddy is going to fulfil a goal I think every queer story should eventually seek to provide its queer audience, which is to give us the hope and comfort we never found growing up – and this is why I am excited to see what happens next because I am absolutely here for the story they are telling and believe that it will do justice to us. Because they’ve already been doing it since episode 1. 

Not to mention, the editing in this scene and the unconventionally upbeat OST are flawlessly designed to make anyone weep in both sadness and for the sheer beauty of this scene. With every frame, I felt my heart shatter more and more but also soar higher and higher because I know nobody else has put in the effort to craft a legendary queer love story like this. Just like the lyrics of Our Song, I see BBS team’s vision to normalize queer relationships with this love story.

“Just a love song that you need to listen to, Just lyrics that are nothing new

- The answer I’ve been looking for, Love is nothing else but you”

Because what is this love for which queer people are being discriminated against every day? It is the same love which humanity has known since forever and love which is as old as time, that people have died and fought and lived for. Nothing new or out of the ordinary. It is the world that needs to catch up. And I hope theirs will in episode 12. TL;DR- I believe Pat and Pran’s love story can change and save millions of queer lives if only we can convince more people to watch it. And P’Aof and BBS team deserve a standing ovation from all of humanity. So go promote this game-changer of a masterpiece y’all!!

[interact-if]

I’m sending this in because it seems like I could get good opinions from not only you but also the people who follow you. I have an idea for an IF, and I’m very excited for the story. My question is, would people be offended if I made the playable MC physically female that identifies as female and all the ROs physically male that identify as male? I have seen some out there that are strictly M/M or F/F, and I’m so happy they exist because I feel that population is underserved. I just feel, not having the experience, I could bring justice to writing LGBTQ+ (and I don’t want to offend anyone in that community by writing something incorrect), mostly when it comes to sex (which I plan on including in my game). I support games that have those relationships in them and admire them, even play those games, and I don’t care who plays my game. The more the merrier! I still want the characters to be diverse. One of them will be of a descent that is based on Japanese culture and many others, based on Persian culture. I also want the playable MC to have any skin tone/features the player wants. I just want to know if this…will have people coming after me? I want to tell my story, but I don’t want to be attacked for it, if that makes sense?

I really don’t mean to offend anyone. I just don’t want to cause trouble, and I just want to respectfully ask for people’s opinions on this.

Hello! So, before diving into our response, we’d like to emphasize that we are but five individuals running a blog devoted to interactive fiction. We are neither the end-all-be-all voice on this matter nor necessarily a representative mouthpiece for the community.

First off, you can write whatever you would like to write; as the author, you have absolute control over what you produce, so nobody is going to stop you from writing what you want to write. It’s also important to write what you enjoy.

That said, the community is, in our experience, very inclusive, and largely devoted to providing a space for the queer community. We can understand the desire to have an appropriately inclusive and diverse game, and why you particularly want to turn to characters of color to bridge the gap; however, substituting characters of color for queer characters to claim diversity in a project is possibly something that will receive the wrong kind of attention. Furthermore, assuming that writing characters of color well is any less complex than writing queer characters potentially suggests that said characters could end up underdeveloped or tokenized. (See Nines' and Roast’s response below for more context)

All of that doesn’t mean you can’t make a game that’s genderlocked and restricted to M/F romance, and I don’t think anyone will be offended by such a game, but it might limit your audience. At the same time, there are (many) other visual novels that have this format, so it’s not something unheard of. As far as CoGs and text-based games go, as far as we’ve seen, they are rarely genderlocked unless for plot reasons, etc.

There is also a chance that you may receive feedback requesting that the MC be un-gender locked, or for additional ROs to be added of different gender, or for the ROs to be made gender selectable. These requests may be gentle, insistent, kind, or aggressive, and they may only occur at the beginning of your work, or may occur throughout your game development. Maybe they’ll never happen at all. It’s impossible to predict the future, but in our experience, we have often seen this occur to games in the past with RO gender imbalances, locks, etc.

As for searching for feedback, if you’re looking for feedback but you’re not pursuing the CoG format, may we suggest the Reddit subforum? It’s a little difficult for you to get the feedback/dialogue going here that you’d likely like to get, so Reddit’s format may be more conducive to your needs.

In the meanwhile, those who would like to provide their thoughts are encouraged to respond in the comments of this post. Please remember to be polite with your discussion!

— — —

The above is our general mod response; a few of us wanted to offer some individual thoughts as well, and those can be found below. These are personal opinions and reflect each individual mod’s thoughts, rather than a collective response.

While it can be a little daunting to write about something you’re not familiar with, writing often broaches topics with which we don’t personally have first-hand experience. Additionally, queer relationships are ultimately still relationships between people—they’re not all that different from heterosexual relationships. If you’re worried about the way you’re portraying your content, that’s something well-curated beta readers/testers (from the population you’re trying to represent) can help test for, and give feedback on. And on top of all of the above, that’s not to mention the potential issues associated with substituting in POC to replace queer people, which is perhaps not what your intention is, but is what it feels like your intention is (see Roast and Nines for all the ins and outs on why this is an issue). Ultimately, I stand by the opinion that on the most basic level, most will not be offended by a game that’s about a straight, cisgender female MC—yet some, or even many, may be off-put by such a game. I know I, personally, am. (P. S. Also consider that the MC has to interact with the other ROs that she isn’t romancing, as friends, enemies, acquaintances, what have you—having selectable ROs, for example, also allows the player to “diversify” their acquaintance group, if they so wish.) — Dani

I understand that this ask is coming from well-meaning intent but I would just like to state that writing characters of color is not easier than writing queer characters. One of them isn't a substitute for the other. Writing characters of color and writing queer characters are separate matters entirely, and both come with its own difficulties. Wanting your characters to be diverse, while admittedly lacking the perspective to back such identities, is still a murky water to navigate.

Personally speaking, and I really do have to be transparent about this, the way certain sentences were phrased in this ask rubbed me the wrong way. Still, I understand that this isn't malicious, just someone who is asking for guidance, which is something I can't fault. We all have to start somewhere, you know? That being said, if you really want to write diverse characters, my general advice is to do research. Lots and lots and lots of research. No author is exempt from that, honestly.

Find helpful articles, journals, studies, video essays, etc. to aid you in writing your characters. If you still feel like that's lacking in some way, which is a valid concern, being open to feedback from the appropriate people is also a good way to improve. The integrity of a project is important, but so is reasonable criticism against, for, or about it. Keep an open mind, educate yourself, and don't be afraid to ask for help or clarification should it be needed. — Nines

Nines says it well that queer people and poc are not interchangeable nor any 'easier' than the other. The fact that you're willing to do research and include characters of color yet not include queer characters tells me that you're afraid yet misconstruing how much effort actually gets put into cultural research.

There is a 'purity culture' that goes around tumblr that claims that diverse characters have to be perfect, have to have no flaws, cannot die, cannot have trauma, cannot face adversity, they must be perfect and good and happy.

I think this is bullshit.

I also think the backlash from this 'purity culture' community is what is creating so much fear in authors (including queer authors!!) in making characters with different backgrounds and identities than their own. In making queer characters with flaws and tragedy and negative characteristics.

If we only ever wrote what we knew, what we've personally experienced, fiction would be a very boring world.

Being afraid of representing a community wrong is a valid fear, but it shouldn't stop you from trying. You can write what you want to write, but it shouldn't be limited by fear.

Do your research. Get sensitivity readers. Be open to feedback. Be willing to be afraid, but do it anyway.

If, in the end, you decide to gender lock, make it an informed decision at the very least, and if you are including characters of color, know that that is a heavy amount of research too, and should be handled with the same care as what we've said on queer characters.

And like we've said before, we are not the voice of the community, we cannot give you permission or our blessing or flawless feedback, we are just five people running a blog. — Roast

Alright this was already mentioned a bit before but I wish to add my two cents: M/F relationships are the norm anywhere else in real life, and if you feel like there's no space for you and your relationships in a mostly-queer community then you might want to recheck if this is the community you wish to have as your target audience.

No one's going to be offended if your story is cishet, as we said, but you are extremely reducing your audience by doing such. The appeal of interactive fiction is that a good bunch of us have played female-mc-straight-love-interest visual novels in the past, having to endure being misgendered or romancing people we might not be attracted to.

The current interactive fiction community we're trying to promote has opened a million doors for everyone to explore themselves, so don't be surprised if your story, no matter how good, is ignored due to this aspect. Most of us have no interest in being forced to play as something we're not.

Again, we cannot tell you what you can or cannot do. We don't speak for the community, we speak for ourselves and for this blog. Maybe every comment we've made was incorrect and your game turns out to be successful, really, but it's what we believe you should keep in mind. — Cruz

Honestly, I don’t have much to add since everyone here mentioned and discussed important facets of this ask! At the end of the day, we are not a group who can or will ever dictate what you can or cannot write. That is not the purpose of the blog or the reason why we’re working as hard as we are. 

There have always been games with this specific set of characteristics: gender locked MCs and/or ROs. Some people may enjoy it, others may not, for whatever reason. 

Unfortunately, we cannot guarantee anything in terms of how people will respond to a game, because people will react to content differently. All we can do is offer our perspective and the potential things that may happen in the future based on the experience the lovely devs above have had. (fellow interact-if mods, my beloved ❤️)

It’s always admirable for people to reach out when they’re unsure, and I’m sure there are infinitely more opinions that vary or are similar to the ones in this response. But there you have it, some of our thoughts! 

Goodluck with your project! — Mars

[freddiekluger]

Why Cap Being Internally Closeted Is Not Only Possible, But Valid Representation 

i wrote this to a lot of mitski and onsind, so you can’t blame me for any feelings that bleed through

now i don’t know if it actually exists, but i’ve heard of there being a lot of discourse surrounding the captains story arc regarding his sexuality- i believe the general gist is that having a queer character that remains closeted to themselves is either unrealistic or ‘bad’ representation, and as someone who really treasures the captain and relates to his story so far a lot, i thought i might break this down a bit. 

i’ve divded up every complaint i’ve heard about this into four main questions which i’ll be covering below the ‘keep reading’, because this is gonna be pretty comprehensive. full disclaimer i reference my experiences as an ex-evangelical non binary butch lesbian a couple times, and i spent a year studying repression and the psychological impacts of high demand sexual ethics for my graduating sociology paper, so this is coming with some background to it i swear

the big questions:

can you EVEN be gay and not know it????

but isn't this just ANOTHER coming out arc, and aren't we supposed to be moving beyond those?

but if cap can't have a relationship with a man because he's a ghost, what's the point?

since cap's dead, isn't this technically bury your gays, and isn't that bad? 

1. "but is it really possible to not know? Isn't that bad representation?"

short answer: no and no.

before i get into the validity of the captain's ignorance about his own orientation as 21st century rep, let's break down how the hell the captain can be so clearly attracted to men and still not even consider the possibility that he might be gay, as brought to you by someone who literally experienced this shit.

the captain's particular situation is both a direct result of the lack of information around human sexuality he would have had (aka clear messaging that it's actually possible for him to be attracted to men. i don't mean acceptable or allowed, i mean physically capable of happening- the idea that orientations other than heterosexual exist and are available to him, a man), and a subconscious survival mechanism. the environment in which he lives is outright hostile to gay people, while the military man identity he has constructed for himself doesn't allow for any form of deviation from societal norms, let alone one so base level and major. as a result of this killer combo of information and environment, instincts take over and the mind does it's best to repress the ‘deviant’ feelings until a. one of these two things changes, or b. the act of repression becomes so destructive and/or exhuasting that it becomes impossible to maintain. the key to maintaining a long-term state of repression of desire is diverting that energy elsewhere, and a high-demand group such as the military is the perfect place for the captain to do this (this technqiue is frequented by religions and extremist ideologies worldwide, but that’s not really what we’re here to focus on). 

while the brain is actively repressing ‘deviant’ feelings (aka gay shit), this doesn't mean you don't experience the feelings at all. when performed as a subconscious act of survival, the aim of repression is to minimise/transform the feelings into a state where they can no longer cause immediate danger, and something as big as sexual/romantic orientation is going to keep popping up, but as long as the individual in question never understands what they’re feeling, they’ll be able to continue relatively undisturbed. you know how in heist movies, the leader of the group will only tell each team member part of the plan so they can’t screw things up for everyone else if they get caught? it’s kind of like that.

this is how the captain appears to have operated in life AND in death, and it’s a relatively common experience for lgbtq people who’ve grown up in similar circumstances (aka with a lack of information and in an unfriendly-to-hostile environment), and accounts for how some people can even go on to get married and have children before realising that they’re gay and/or trans. 

personally, while i can now identify what were strong homo crushes all the way back to childhood, at the time i genuinely had no idea. there was the underlying sense that i probably shouldn't tell people how attached i was to these girls because i would seem weird, and that my feelings were stronger than the ones other people used to describe friendships, but like-like them in the way that other girls like-liked boys? no way! actually scratch that, it wasn't even a no way, because i had no idea that i even could. i even had my own havers, at least in terms of the emotional hold and devotion she got from me, except she treated me way less well than cap’s beau. snatches of the existence of lgbt people made it through the cone of silence, i definitely heard the words gay and lesbian, but my levels of informations mirrored those that the captain would have had: virtually none, beyond the idea that these words exist, some people are them, and that's not something that we support or think is okay, so let's just not speak about it. despite only attending religious schools for the first couple years of primary, until i got my own technology and social media accounts to explore lgbtq content on my own- option a out of the two catalysts for change- the possibility of me being gay was not at all on my radar. don’t even get me started on how long it took me to explore butchness and my overall gender, two things which now feel glaringly obvious. 

when shit starts to break down, you can also make the conscious choice to repress which can delay the eventual smashing down of the mental closet door for a time (essentially when the closet door starts to open, you just say ‘no thanks’ and shut it again by pointedly Not Thinking About It). in the abscence of identifying yourself by your attractions, it becomes quite common to identify with a lack- in my case, this meant becoming proud of how sensible and not boy crazy i was, and in the captain’s case, this means becoming proud of how sensible and not sensuous/wild (aka woman crazy) he was, identifying with his LACK of desire for women and partying (which, even in the 40s, involved the expectation of opposite sex romances and hook ups). i’m not saying that’s the only reason he’s a rule follower, but i think the contrast between About Last Night and Perfect Day pretty much support this. (the captain getting on his high horse about general party antics that he inherently felt excluded from because of underlying awareness of his difference & his tendency to project his regimented expectations of himself onto others, vs. joining in the reception party, awareness of how the environment supports difference in the form of clare and sam, and relaxing his own rules by dancing with men- the captain doesn’t mind a party when feels like he has a place there.)

so the captain was operating in a high demand, highly regulated environment (primarily the military, but also early 20th century England itself), with regimented roles, rules, and expectations. working on the assumption that he wouldn't have had out/disclosing lgbt friends, he would have had little to no exposure to lgbt identities, and what information he did receive would have been hushed and negatively geared. while my world started to open up when i started high school was allowed to have my own phone + instagram account, resulting in me realising something wasn't quite 'right' within a few years (making me a relatively early realiser compared to those who don't come out to themselves until adulthood), in life the captain never had that experience. he didn't receive the information he needed, his environment didn't grow less hostile. with the near-exception of havers related heartbreak, his well disciplined and lifelong method of repression never became destructive/exhaustive enough to permanently override the danger signals in his mind and allow him to put his feelings into words. neither of the most common catalysts for change happened for him, so he continued as usual, even after his death.

BUT, and here’s where we come to why this is actually great representation, arrival of mike and Alison represents the opening up of new world. for the first time, the captain is actively made aware of the fact that his environment is no longer hostile, and better than that, it’s affirming. he’s also getting access to positively geared information about lgbtq people and identities, so option a of the two catalysts for change is absolutely present, and resoundingly positive. 

the captain’s arc is also relatively unique as it acknowledges the oppressive nature of his environment, but actually focuses on the internal consequences, and the way that systems like those that the captain lived in succeed because they turn us into our own oppressors. for whatever reason, we repress ourseslves, and often can’t help it, and i find that the significance of the journey to overcome that is often overlooked in more mainstream queer media. perhaps it’s just not very cinematic, or it remains too confronting for cishet audiences, but ghosts manages to touch on it with a lovely amount of humour and hope. Jamie Babbit’s But I’m A Cheerleader is another favourite piece of queer media for the same reasons.

not only does it show this, but as the captain continues to get gayer and lean into some of his less conventional traits (like an interest in fashion and the wedding planning), it shows lgbt people who have been or are going through this that there CAN be a positive outcome. it takes a lot to unlearn all the things that have painted you as wrong, especially when a massive institution is desperate to continue doing so, but you can do it, you can be happy, and it's never too late. (i've been meaning to say that last point for ages for ages, but a mutual beat me to it here)

2. not just another coming out arc

i absolutely support the demand for queer stories that don’t center around coming out (it’s like shrodinger’s queer: if you’re not coming out on screen, do you really even exist?), but i don’t align with the criticisms that the captain should already be out. for the reasons mentioned above, the captain’s particular story is fairly different to the ‘young white teenager who mostly knows gay is fine, it’s just everyone else that’s got the problem, but have a unremarkably straight sounding soundtrack, a trauma porn romance, and a cishet saviour’ that we keep seeing. the captain’s ongoing journey with his sexuality emphasises the overaching theme of the show: recovering from trauma and humanity’s endless capacity for growth, and i think that’s worth showing over and over again until it stops being true.

additionally, while the captain’s journey regarding his gayness is a big part of his character and story, ghosts makes it clear that it’s not the ONLY part, and being gay is far from his ONLY characteristic or dramatic/comedic engine. the fact that i’m even having to congratulate ghosts for doing that really shows how much film and television is struggling huh.

while all queer media is, and should be, subject to criticism, i think if it helps even one person then it absolutely deserves to exist, and i can say i’ve found the captain’s journey to be the lgbt story i’ve found that’s closest to my own, which says a lot considering he’s a dead world war 2 soldier who hangs out with other ghosts including a slutty Tory, a georgian noblewoman, and a literal caveman. 

3. if captain gay, why he no have boyfriend???? 

another complaint that’s been circulating is that since the captain doesn’t, and likely won’t, have a boyfriend, that makes him Bad Representation because it follows the sad single gay trope. i kind of get the logic from this one, and a lot of it is up to personal interpretation, but part of me really enjoys the fact that the captain’s journey towards accepting himself is separated from having a relationship.

coming out is often paired with having romantic/sexual relationships (either as the reason or reward for doing so). my own struggle with repression didn't end the second that came out, and i still struggle with letting myself develop & acknowledge romantic feelings as a result of actively shutting them (and most other feelings in general) down for years, and statistics show that lgbtq youth in particular tend not to live out their 'teen years' until their twenties. by not giving cap a relationship straight away, ghosts separates the act of claiming identity and sexual orientation from finding a partner (two things which are, more often than not, separate), and also provides some very nice validation to folks who have yet to have the relationship they want, especially when lots of mainstream queer media is now jumping on the cishet media bandwagon of acting as if every person loses their virginity and has a life defining relationship at sixteen. it’s essentially a continuation of the earlier theme of “it’s never too late”, and who’s to say the captain won’t get a gay bear ghost boyfriend to go haunt nazis with??? people die all the time, it could happen.

(also, i think him and julian will have definitely shagged at least once. it was a low moment for both of them and they refuse to speak of it.)

lots of asexual/ace spectrum fans have come out to say how much they’ve loved being able to headcanon cap as ace, and while that’s not a headcanon i personally have, i think it’s brilliant that ace fans feel seen by his character- we’re all in this soup together babey (and sorry for cursing everyone still reading this with that cap/julian headcanon. i’m just a vessel)

4. “okay, but cap’s a GHOST- doesn’t that make this Bury Your Gays?”

this is a bit of a complex one, but i’m going to say no as a result of the following break down.

Bury Your Gays (BYG), aka the trope where lgbtq characters are consistently killed off (and often with a heavy dose of trauma, while cishet characters survive) is probably one of my least favourite lgbt media tropes. BYG has two main points:

1. the lgbt character is killed, thus removing them from story entirely- hence the use of the phrase ‘killed OFF’ (killed off of the show/film)

2. the character’s death reinforces the perception that lgbtq people’s lives must end in tragedy, instead of being long and fulfilling, or are inherently less valuable. bonus points if the character is killed in a hate crime or confesses same-gender love right before they die (that one implies that queer love genuinely has no future!)

not every death of an lgbtq character is bury your gays, and i personally feel that the captain is an example of an lgbt death that isn’t. 

first of all, while the captain is dead, so are the vast majority of characters in ghosts. the premise of the show means that death is not the end of the line for its characters- for most of them, it’s the only reason we get to see them on screen at all. as such, the captain being dead doesn’t remove him from the story, so point one is irrelevant.

at the time of posting, we don’t know how or why the captain died, but we've had nothing to suggest his death was in any way related to his latent sexuality, so his mysterious death doesn’t actively play into the supposedly inherent tragedy of queer lives, nor the supposedly lesser value. that’s as of right now- since we don’t know the circumstances of his death it’s a little tough to analyse properly. while the captain’s life absolutely features missed opportunities and it’s fair share of tragedy, hope and growth (which seems to be the theme of this post) abounds in equal measure. the captain may not be alive, but we DO get to see him growing and having a relatively happy existence, that for the most part seems to be getting even better as he learns to open up and be himself unapologetically- that doesn’t feel like BYG to me.

while writng this, it’s just occured to me that death really is a second chance for most of the ghosts, especially with the introduction of alison. from mary learning to read, to thomas finding modern music, they’ve all been given the chance explore things they never could have while they were alive, and hopefully grow enough to one day be sucked off move on.

in conclusion,

i love the captain very much and i hope his arc lives up to the standards it’s set so far. i don’t know where to put this in this post, but i’d alo like to say i LOVE how in Perfect Day, the captain wasn’t used as an educational experienced for fanny at all. i am very tired of people expecting me to be the walking talking homophobe educator and rehabilitator, so the fact that it’s alison and the other ghosts that call fanny out while the captain just gets to have fun with the wedding organisation made me very happy.

here’s a few other cap posts that i’ve done:

the captain’s arc if adam and the film crew stayed

a possible cap coming out 

the captain backstory headcanon

if you’ve read this far,

thank you!

also check out @alex-ghosts-corner , this post inspired me very much to write this

[janerogan]

Favourite and least favourite aspects of the Abhorsen books?

oo ooo interesting, okay, well firstly the last time i read them was a couple years so i might have forgotten aspects i liked and didn’t like as my memory is like a sieve on the best of days and im only halfway through my sabriel re-read as of right now. this might be long sorry and also i dont think i’ll be mentioning any big spoilers

liked: first thing i fell in love with when i read them was that they were fantasy books with women as the main characters and a lot of supporting characters too. i was just starting to explore more fantasy and it seemed everything had male main characters and i was honestly just sick of it lmao, i was DESPEREATE for some different perspectives and to not have to read books where there was just one female character who did very little and who i simply did not vibe with. so im so glad teen me had some very cool fantasy books starring girls and also girls who were not questioned for what they did, there is a whole history of abhorsen being women. i get very sick of the ‘this one girl breaks out of social expectations and does something a man usually does and everyone is shocked and most of the plot is centred around people talking about how she’s a girl and the girl having to prove women are actually able to do stuff’ plot. i just wanna see some necromancy and creatures full of fire pls, dont want to have to deal with layers upon layers of sexism also.

liked: the world building is exquisite, i just love how bloody creative it is, the bells, the creatures, the 9 gates in death and the river, the split between the old kingdom and ancelstierre??? it’s just such a cool world and as someone who loves a fantasy book thats dark in its worldbuilding but not on its outlook its literally perfect. they give me big ursula k. le guin and robin hobb vibes

liked: lirael is my favourite book and one of the big reasons is because of the library, it’s as though that book was specifically catering to me. A massive library that only trained librariens can enter because who knows whats in the library, what creatures might be lurking or trapped, the mystery of what exactly the library holds, adventures AND learning in a ibrary? thats so fucking cool???

disliked: i remember being kind of dissapointed with the romance plot in one of the books because i dont vibe with hetero relationships being written as tho it was just added because ‘why not, they know each other and we need a romance’. i dont know if that will change when i reread but yeah i just dont think it was necessary, there wasn’t enough build up to it for my liking so it seemed just put in because a girl and a boy interacted so why not. but i will say that on the whole i love the lack of romance in the books and it never is the focus (if i remember correctly, maybe i just didnt care so blocked it out lmao)

disliked: along that same line, one of my least favourite aspects is how it lacks in diversity, i always read different characters as being poc but i dont actually think that was intended? im not sure whether that was my brain adding in diversity in appearence where it wasn’t actually written. Also, it’s literally full of cishets alas, which im not a fan of but also i can overlook it cuz i love everything else so much. yet there is a brief mention in clariel that queer relationships are just a normal part of life in the old kingdom world but it would have been fab if that was reflected in the characters and their relationships as well. i think clariel is aro/ace tho which is cool but also a shame considering who she is lmao.

disliked: in a couple books i feel like the ending was a bit rushed or fell flat but i think i only thought that on my first read and it’s not a masive complaint or anything, the books are still written amazingly and some of the climaxes in the plot are fuking spot on. i just rememeber thinking a couple times that certain scenes felt like they could have been expanded on more

liked: women shown being just as capable of corruption as men. love a good morally questionable lady  :’)

liked: talking animal sidekicks. oh man, now im thinking these books fill the requirements for disney princesses which is hilarious, except the animal sidekicks are extremely powerful creatures who came back through the gates of death only to be bound in animal form

[moonshinesapphic]

So you were disappointed in Throne of Glass...

 (DISCLAIMER: This post does not intend to offend anyone who loves ToG. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and likes and dislikes and is allowed to express that. This post is meant to share books that have similar qualities to ToG for people who were disappointed in the series, like myself, but anyone who does like ToG can absolutely find great recs here! However, if you don’t want to hear anything ToG critical I recommend skipping over this post. Thank you!)

So last week I finally got rid of all my ToG books. I was mostly relieved that I now have more room on my bookshelf but I also felt a little sad. It was a series I really enjoyed when I first read it two years ago, and on some level it will always have a special place for me. It was one of the many books that got me back into reading after a five year slump, it’s the reason I became friends with the wonderful Nicole (@/rainbowbooktheif on Instagram) who was the first person irl to make me feel less alone as a bookish nerd, and it, unintentionally, helped me hone my critical reading skills. However, I slowly began to care less and less for the story and characters as the series progressed and ended up not reading the last two books because I just stopped caring. I wondered why a series that I loved so much in the beginning went down hill so fast for me, but in the process of falling out of love with ToG I realized I wasn’t the only one who felt this way about the series! The lack of diversity (and misrepresentation/mistreatment of diverse characters when they were there), sexism, lazy editing and lackluster world building, among other things, came up many times for me and other former ToG fans when discussing why we became disappointed in the series. But the pitch for the book (badass morally gray assassin taking down a tyrant king for her freedom, so cool!) and some of the elements (romance, female friendships, magic, trials) sounded so amazing even though in the end it was executed poorly. So, I decided to compile a list of books that I have read and loved that have some elements and themes of ToG. This list is by no means exhaustive and is limited by the books that I have read (which is not many when you look at how many books exist in the world) so I would love to see your recommendations! Please feel free to add onto this post any recs that you have! Now onto the list!

1) Graceling by Kristin Cashore

I read this book the summer before I started ToG and completely loved it. It was one of the early books that got me back into reading and it was honestly the perfect book for that. It was exciting and I couldn’t put it down. It follows an assassin for a tyrannical king who begins to realize her own gifts for killing are more then she ever thought they could be. Cashore does a fantastic job developing the lead character Katsa and the ways that she dolls out information to the readers slowly is impeccable. While this book is technically the first in a trilogy of books taking place in the Graceling world, it can be read as a standalone fantasy (which I feel like are very rare). Another part of this book that I really loved was the romance. I usually don’t read very many straight romances (due to the sexist/problematic aspects many of the ones that I’ve read have) but the relationship between Katsa and Po is honestly a breath of fresh air when you’re used to a lot of toxicity and sexism with cishet romances in books. The two take care of each other and their relationship is very balanced. There are no gender roles pushed on either of them and they truly grow to become a team throughout the story and it’s wonderful to see! I would consider Katsa and Po, while canonically cis (there isn’t any explicit queer rep in this book), both quite androgynous characters who often express themselves in a fluid manner which I really appreciate. Over all this is an amazing classic YA fantasy that everyone should check out!

Synopsis: “Katsa has been able to kill a man with her bare hands since she was eight—she’s a Graceling, one of the rare people in her land born with an extreme skill. As niece of the king, she should be able to live a life of privilege, but Graced as she is with killing, she is forced to work as the king’s thug.

She never expects to fall in love with beautiful Prince Po.

She never expects to learn the truth behind her Grace—or the terrible secret that lies hidden far away . . . a secret that could destroy all seven kingdoms with words alone.

With elegant, evocative prose and a cast of unforgettable characters, debut author Kristin Cashore creates a mesmerizing world, a death-defying adventure, and a heart-racing romance that will consume you, hold you captive, and leave you wanting more.”

2) Three Dark Crowns by Kendare Blake

This book is the first in a five book series about three royal sisters raised to battle it out for the throne. I must admit the first book in the series is a little lackluster due to the fact that it’s setting up a lot but the second book just blows everything out of the water in a fantastic way. This series is dark and bloody and intriguing. I got completely hooked on this series and it brought out a lot of emotion to the point where I was gasping and shouting and throwing my book around as I was reading it (I got very invested)! I think that’s one of the things SJM can do well is get you hooked on her characters and Kendare can do the same (if not better). I love the dynamic between the sisters, this book does a great job at exploring the darker side of familial and female/female relationships (mostly platonic.. there isn’t very much queer rep unfortunately) that I really appreciate. The magic system and wolrdbuliding are also something that I enjoyed and I though was quite well done. Kendare does a good job at weaving in worldbuilding and magic system seamlessly into the story and I love that so much. Three Dark Crowns is just a fun and exciting series that I think anyone who loves fantasy YA should check out!

Synopsis: “ In every generation on the island of Fennbirn, a set of triplets is born—three queens, all equal heirs to the crown and each possessor of a coveted magic. Mirabella is a fierce elemental, able to spark hungry flames or vicious storms at the snap of her fingers. Katharine is a poisoner, one who can ingest the deadliest poisons without so much as a stomachache. Arsinoe, a naturalist, is said to have the ability to bloom the reddest rose and control the fiercest of lions.

But becoming the Queen Crowned isn’t solely a matter of royal birth. Each sister has to fight for it. And it’s not just a game of win or lose…it’s life or death. The night the sisters turn sixteen, the battle begins.

The last queen standing gets the crown. “

3) The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon

So a little disclaimer, this book is one of my favorite fantasy books of all time. I read it over the span of a few months last summer (its a long one guys...800+ pages) and it was one of the greatest, most well thought out fantasy books I’d ever had the pleasure of reading. I loved the characters, the world, the plot, the magic system etc. I loved everything! There’s some great political intrigue, dragon riders, epic battles, prophecies, weddings, funerals, romance and just general badassery and kickassery happening. Shannon clearly put so much time and effort into this book and it shows. That kind of dedication that shows is something that I really appreciate in a book, especially a fantasy book. Another aspect that I loved so so much is the diversity in this book. It came so naturally and didn’t at all feel like tokenism. The characters, with their differing genders, ethnicities, sexualities, ages, and nationalities etc, and their relationships with each other are truly what made the story. This book also has one of the BEST f/f romances I’ve ever read (as a queer woman I really loved that representation so much and felt very connected to both of those characters). Priory is a long one but if you have the time I highly recommend it.

Synopsis: “ A world divided. A queendom without an heir. An ancient enemy awakens.

The House of Berethnet has ruled Inys for a thousand years. Still unwed, Queen Sabran the Ninth must conceive a daughter to protect her realm from destruction – but assassins are getting closer to her door.

Ead Duryan is an outsider at court. Though she has risen to the position of lady-in-waiting, she is loyal to a hidden society of mages. Ead keeps a watchful eye on Sabran, secretly protecting her with forbidden magic.

Across the dark sea, Tané has trained to be a dragonrider since she was a child, but is forced to make a choice that could see her life unravel.

Meanwhile, the divided East and West refuse to parley, and forces of chaos are rising from their sleep. “

4) Truthwitch by Susan Dennard

As a queer woman, I’m always a little on edge when someone mentions f/f friendship in a book. This is entirely because of the erasure many many f/f romances experience when they are just brushed off as friendships (we’ve all heard the term “gal pals”). It’s frustrating and even though I love a good f/f friendship when the f/f romances get erased and replaced by friendships it gets exhausting. However, Truthwitch is a true f/f friendship that I can fully get behind! Dennard is an author that I had been following for writing tips for a while before I finally picked up her book. I knew that she’s someone who is invested in making her series diverse, even if she herself doesn’t fit into those categories, and accepts criticism because she want’s to do her characters justice. That’s something I really appreciate seeing from white cishet authors and is one of the reasons I picked up Truthwitch. It’s so much fun and the heart of the story truly is the relationship between the two leads Safi and Iseult. Their friendship reminds me a lot of my relationship with my friends. Books about f/f relationships (romantic or otherwise) are few and far between so I really love that this book exists. Strong platonic relationships are so often pushed aside for cishet romantic ones so it’s SO refreshing to see a series where the book would not exist without Safi and Iseult’s bond. They are truly soulmates and their relationship with each other is the most important one in their lives and that is just beautiful. Not to mention this book has got an awesome magic system and is building up to an amazing fantasy series! There’s pirates, priestesses, princes and, of course, witches! It’s loads of fun all around!

Synopsis: “ Young witches Safiya and Iseult have a habit of finding trouble. After clashing with a powerful Guildmaster and his ruthless Bloodwitch bodyguard, the friends are forced to flee their home.

Safi must avoid capture at all costs as she's a rare Truthwitch, able to discern truth from lies. Many would kill for her magic, so Safi must keep it hidden - lest she be used in the struggle between empires. And Iseult's true powers are hidden even from herself.

In a chance encounter at Court, Safi meets Prince Merik and makes him a reluctant ally. However, his help may not slow down the Bloodwitch now hot on the girls' heels. All Safi and Iseult want is their freedom, but danger lies ahead. With war coming, treaties breaking and a magical contagion sweeping the land, the friends will have to fight emperors and mercenaries alike. For some will stop at nothing to get their hands on a Truthwitch. “

5) Monstress by Marjorie Liu (Writer) and Sana Takeda (Illustrator) 

Another disclaimer! This book is my favorite graphic novel, period. There is really nothing like Monstress out there and I think that it’s criminally underrated. Liu and Takeda are the perfect combo of writer/artist to make this GN come together. I’m constantly in awe of the world, characters, and story Liu built and the frankly stunning art Takeda creates to go along with it. It’s steampunk and dark and dirty and beautiful. The lead character, Maika, is one of the few truly morally gray characters that I’ve read. Her decisions will make you question if you’re a good person because you still love her despite the fact that she just killed that guy... and that guy... and those other guys. This graphic novel series is very reflective of the dark animes (like Tokyo Ghoul and Castlevania) that we are seeing more recently and I personally believe Monstress would make a fantastic animated series if it were ever to get an adaption. This book has also some great representation of queer women (Maika herself is a queer, disabled, WoC). It’s totally the norm for the world and all of the lead female characters are queer, which I just love. This story has amazing woldbulding, magic, characters etc. It’ll give you everything from giant dead gods, to talking cats with multiple tails, to demonically possessed teenage girls who need to eat people. It’s honestly amazing. (I would give a major trigger warning for blood/gore so as long as you know you can handle that I think you should check it out!)

Synopsis: “ Set in an alternate matriarchal 1900's Asia, in a richly imagined world of art deco-inflected steam punk, MONSTRESS tells the story of a teenage girl who is struggling to survive the trauma of war, and who shares a mysterious psychic link with a monster of tremendous power, a connection that will transform them both and make them the target of both human and otherworldly powers. “

6) The Bridge Kingdom by Danielle L. Jensen

I never thought I would love a cishet romance as much as I love this one but here I am. The Bridge Kingdom is not really the kind of book I would normally pick up but it was on sale on kindle so I thought “why not!” And I was not disappointed. This story follows the assassin princess, Lara, who was raised to be married off to her fathers rival kingdom and kill the king. However, things get sticky when she begins to actually fall for the king and starts to realize that her father isn’t exactly who he says he is. Not only was this romance steamy as hell (this is an ADULT book folks so there are some explicit sex scenes, beware) but the world is super cool. The political intrigue was something I really enjoyed and I loved to see the world unfold from Lara’s eyes. I also totally loved Lara’s character. She’s complicated and cutthroat but ultimately want’s to do what’s right and is a character made to change and develop. I usually don’t go for that character trope that Lara fits into (beautiful and badass and despite being the MCs they somehow end up being very bland...) but Jensen managed to create a very mature and ever changing version of the YA trope that I ended up loving completely. If you love steamy fantasy romances with cool worlds and intriguing characters this is absolutely the book for you!

Synopsis: “ Lara has only one thought for her husband on their wedding day: I will bring your kingdom to its knees. A princess trained from childhood to be a lethal spy, Lara knows that the Bridge Kingdom represents both legendary evil - and legendary promise. The only route through a storm-ravaged world, the Bridge Kingdom controls all trade and travel between lands, allowing its ruler to enrich himself and deprive his enemies, including Lara's homeland. So when she is sent as a bride under the guise of fulfilling a treaty of peace, Lara is prepared to do whatever it takes to fracture the defenses of the impenetrable Bridge Kingdom.

But as she infiltrates her new home - a lush paradise surrounded by tempest seas - and comes to know her new husband, Aren, Lara begins to question where the true evil resides. Around her, she sees a kingdom fighting for survival, and in Aren, a man fiercely protective of his people. As her mission drives her to deeper understanding of the fight to possess the bridge, Lara finds the simmering attraction between her and Aren impossible to ignore. Her goal nearly within reach, Lara will have to decide her own fate: Will she be the destroyer of a king or the savior of her people? “

[a-queer-seminarian]

we are taught to interpret Esau’s trading of his birthright for a bowl of stew as impulsiveness, even (in Christian language) as a ‘weakness of the flesh.’ He chooses instant gratification over the farther off but far more valuable thing, and thus proves himself unworthy of his firstborn status and all it entails -- Abraham’s wealth and social power, but also Abraham’s relationship with God.

i don’t believe that.

Esau gave in to Jacob’s demand because he knew that Jacob would never have the means to compel Esau to make good on his word.

Jacob was physically weaker. Jacob was set to inherit the tiniest fragment of the wealth and resources that Esau would inherit. how on earth would Jacob ever wrest the birthright and the blessing he was owed from Esau?

Esau’s ‘crime’ here is less impulsiveness, and more a trust in the status quo. his world of patriarchy and primogeniture promised him his inheritance, whether he was a good man or bad, an honest man or a liar. he could tell his younger brother whatever Jacob wanted to hear, but down the road he could trust that their father would bestow the blessing on Esau anyway.

his reliance on the status quo is what allows Esau to hand over his birthright so easily -- because he knows that merely saying it’s Jacob’s now does not make it so.

Esau’s great failing is that he assumes that his culture’s will is God’s will.

the problem for Esau is that God does not play by human rules.

____________

in the Book of Genesis and throughout the rest of scripture, we see God working within the bounds of cultural assumptions and norms, rolling with the binary systems that human societies construct -- right up to the point where Xe doesn’t.

In The Soul of the Stranger: Reading God and Torah from a Transgender Perspective, Jewish scholar Joy Ladin focuses on the elements of gender inherent to the system of primogeniture that places the firstborn Esau over the secondborn Jacob in every way. To her, biblical maleness comes in different “flavors” -- the roles expected of a firstborn son are different from those assigned to non-firstborn sons. She says,

“Jacob and Esau are both male and are born almost simultaneously, but they are assigned at birth to very different gender roles. Because Esau emerges from the womb first, he is considered the firstborn, heir not only to Isaac’s worldly possessions but also to the relationship with God that Isaac inherited from his father, Abraham. Though Jacob is born holding onto his brother’s heel, he is considered the second-born, expected to accept the authority of his older brother, who, after their father’s death, will be the head of the family. Like the gender binary, this law of inheritance, called ‘primogeniture,’ creates a lifelong, life-determining binary division between males who are and those who aren’t firstborn sons. And like the gender binary, primogeniture turns biology, in this case birth order, into destiny. The way male children are raised, the roles they are assigned, and the futures toward which they are steered are determined by whether they are or aren’t firstborn sons.” (p. 36)

Esau has grown up understanding that his inheritance is his destiny. It’s what he’s been born for, what he’s been raised for, what he is entitled to. Why would he believe that he would ever have to make good on his silly promise to Jacob to hand over that destiny? It’s set in stone, inviolable.

at least it is in the eyes of men. but not to God.

“If God were committed to the gender binary idea that people are unchangeably defined by the gender roles we are assigned at birth, then either Esau would have been destined to inherit Isaac’s relationship with God, or Jacob would have been born first. But as God reveals to Rebekah before the twins are born, God intends for the younger brother to usurp the elder, prenatally linking God’s blessing to trans experience. (Ladin, pp. 37-38)

in the ancient past and in the present day, countless roles get assigned to us as soon as -- or even before -- we exist the womb. biology is presumed destiny in so many ways: our gender, our race, the class and geopolitical location and family into which we are born, supposedly map out what our personalities will be, how our lives will go. and certainly these things do shape us, both by nature and nurture -- generational traumas come packed into our very cells, while our environment and how others treat us based on our assigned roles impact how we perceive ourselves and the world around us.

but even so, even so, biology is not destiny. especially not if God has any say in the matter.

for God is the great binary breaker, no respecter of persons or prejudices, unbeholden to the status quo. indeed, God almost seems to delight in upending our assumptions about who is blessed. secondborn sons and eunuchs, women and disabled persons, impoverished persons and disenfranchised peoples -- these are the ones whom God selects, again and again, to be recipients and agents of divine blessing. “blessed are the poor;” “the last shall be first.”

Esau assumes that biology, his status assigned based on birth order, is destiny. he does not fear his younger brother, who is rendered powerless by their culture to claim what he is promised in a moment of hunger. and probably this is safer for Jacob -- because when Esau does finally realize, too late, that Jacob is a real threat, Esau becomes murderously angry.

when Isaac is duped into giving Jacob his blessing after all, Jacob cannot stick around to claim the wealth and status that comes with it -- he must flee, or die under Esau’s hand.

i wonder if some of the violence we see in our time, and across every time and place, stems from the same kind of rage and fear that Esau experiences:

the rage of the ones who are raised to believe the world belongs to them, that they are entitled to certain blessings and privileges, only for the truth to pounce on them unexpectedly -- the shocking truth that biology is not destiny, that they are not inherently superior, that what they thought would be theirs without question might could be snatched from them after all.

the divine right to rule. manifest destiny. the ‘white man’s burden.’

white men who assume they are entitled to white women, so that the mere thought of a Black man winning a woman’s heart is enough to incite them to brutality.

white women who understand that the police are their personal body guards, to call down upon the bodies of Black adults and even Black children on a whim -- and are indignant in the rare circumstance that they are told otherwise.

men and white people who expect the best jobs and properties to go to them, so that anyone else advancing over them seems an appalling injustice.

cis women who perceive trans women as “invading their spaces;” cishet couples who think LGBTQ/queer couples ruin “the sanctity of marriage;” persons who are accustomed to being accommodated without even realizing it sneering at “safe spaces” and trigger warnings....

and on and on.

Esau had every reason to assume that his biology determined his destiny -- that he could make an impulsive promise, make a big mistake, and everything would still turn out in his favor. he was born into a world that told him so every day -- even that God sanctioned these human assumptions and systems. But God does not.

“God’s disruptions of gender in these stories make it clear that even the gender roles that matter most to human beings are not sacred to God. ...God in the Torah uses gender, but is not bound by it. On the one hand, God depends on gender to transmit the covenant across time and space, so that even after hundreds of generations, Jews will still see themselves as children of Abraham. On the other hand, God disrupts gender as a way of making God’s power and presence known. ...In these stories, faithfulness to gender has little to do with faithfulness to God. In fact, God counts on the fact that people are not bound by gender roles. The covenant with Abraham is founded on Abraham, Sarah, and Jacob’s embrace of trans experience: their willingness to live outside the gender roles they were born to and become the kinds of people they are not supposed to be.” (Ladin, pp. 57-58)

Faithfulness to human constructs has little to do with faithfulness to God. God blesses us when we can imagine beyond the narrative we are assigned -- as Jacob does in this story where he demands a birthright the world does not intend for him....and as Esau eventually does.

In Genesis 33, Esau catches up to Jacob after decades apart -- and Jacob expects violence. He sends gifts of livestock to Esau and conceals his most cherished family at the back of his huge household. But to his bewilderment, Esau is no longer murderously angry at having “lost” what he grew up assuming he was entitled to -- he rushes to his brother, throws his arms around Jacob’s neck, and weeps.

Esau was raised believing that he would own everything, and his brother nothing -- that Jacob would be one of many members of Esau’s household, subservient to him. But now, he does not even feel entitled to the livestock that Jacob offers him: “I already have plenty, my brother. Keep what’s yours.”

Jacob is relieved by this unexpected reconciliation, exclaiming to Esau that “Seeing your face is like seeing God’s face, since you’ve accepted me so warmly!” He never expected Esau to accept what Jacob has known all along -- that biology is not destiny; that neither of them are bound to human constructs like birthright; that they can live a different way than the way prescribed to them, one in which both of them thrive.

___________

now, this story is by no means perfect. Jacob was able to imagine bigger for himself, to escape the destiny assigned to him -- but he does not imagine big enough. he does not use his new station to liberate others.

he becomes a patriarch -- assimilates into patriarchy and the power to own other human beings, to rule over every member of his household, rather than challenging the whole system that once oppressed him. i am reminded of trans persons, persons of color, women, who once they manage to acquire power for themselves never use it to help their fellow marginalized persons up. they land positions of power and use that power to oppress others as they were once oppressed, rather than using it to try to forge a new, better system for all.

Jacob the second-born becomes Jacob the patriarch. his household will be fraught with all the woes that come with this system that stifles all within it. his wives will hate each other and battle each other for what little power they can grasp. his sons will do the same, subjecting the younger Joseph to violence when, like Jacob, this little sibling dares to dream of being something greater than what his society assigns him.

what if Jacob could have imagined bigger? what if he had used his one fragment of shining clarity about how patriarchy and primogeniture stifled his true self to empower others, not only himself?

what if we could imagine bigger? what new and beautiful world could we build?

[nonbinarypoststhings]

Hi, irrelevant, I know, but do you remember anything about the highschool period of your life? I swear this part is the most stressful part of all my life, first I figure out my sexuality, then I move away from all my friends, then my gender, and as if it's not enough, add to that school and standardised tests and all the typical drama of being a teen. Oh and also don't forget that you're somehow supposed to make choices that will affect the rest of your life.How does anyone even survive it?

I do remember my high school life, and as I have reconnected with one of my old classmates recently, I've even talked a bit about it with her.

(Warning for Homophobia, transphobia, Sexism, Racism. Only the homophobia is like explicit, but the others are mentioned. Feel free to tell me if there is more warnings I should have. Also, long post)

High school is a tough period of time for everyone. Everyone is struggling with who they are, and what they want in life.

And add in the layer of being Lgbtq+ it becomes more frustrating.

I have a hard time translating the school things from my country to others, but I believe I graduated what would be translated into high school only this year, but I will still talk about my old school which I graduated from three years ago.

My class back then was not the best place for anyone who is lgbtq+. Me and the classmate I mentioned earlier connected well back then, and still do now, but the rest of them..? Not so much (I will also exclude two more people from that rest, who also is my friends now).

We were a class of 22 or 23, and yes I believe that most of us probably were at least somewhat accepting of the lgbtq+ community, we still only had, from what I know, 2 people who actually is in the community. Neither of us accepted it at the time, even though we both were proudly supportive of the community.

The thing is, she struggled with internalized shit about her identity and that delayed the realization.

I was genderfluid, and same thing there. I denied my own gender because, my friend was nonbinary, I couldn't also be, right? So internlized shit that delayed the realization.

Neither of us came to term with it until after we had left that school.

But I have a clear memory of us both Hating our class, we were a class of mainly guys, and every single guy was white (tbf, we had 1 person who wasn't white in our class all together).

We all know what white cis straight men are famous for...

Being bigots.

I don't know if anything has changed these past years, I haven't talked to them. But back then,

At least half of them were openly sexist, homophobic, transphobic etc.

I have a clear memory, that still Disgusts me so much to this day, of a sex ed class where the teacher, bless her, tried to be inclusive and ask us what we thought about gay couples. (Not how it should be done, but it was atleast a try in the right direction) The guys, who always ran the show (the ones I hated more than I think I can explain), said (TW for Homophobia):

"Gay guys are disgusting. Lesbians are hot".

I was so mad, my skin was crawling with disgust, still is when I think about it. To everyone who only accept lesbians because they think it's hot, you are disgusting. Lesbians are real people and they are not there to please some man. It's not for you, it's between the lesbian and her girlfriend and you should Stay Out Of It!

It wasn't a great place to be out in, so maybe it wasn't weird for us to ignore our own identity, to not want to be lgbtq+ in that space, because if we had been out back then even just to ourselves we would've had to face these people every day and therefore face these kind of things knowing that they are talking about us like this. Even though they didn't know it, they were and it was disgusting and terrible.

(I am not saying repress your gender or sexuality until you are older, you don't have to do that at all. Just be safe, and know that if people are mean or ignorant, they are wrong. You are valid and loved and we all support you so much. Find support, and don't let bigots tear you down. You are Valid and you are who You are no matter what others tell you)

I wanted out of that class, from those people, ever since I was like 6-7 years old. I hoped when we switched school when we were 12-13 that I would end up without a bunch of them. I did still have that same class, which really I had expected even if I hoped differently.

At 16 I got a change to move across the country, I took it. Actually, I kinda fought for it, and I was lucky enough to get it.

Moving away from all my friends were scary even if I had made an active choice to do so. I was terrified that I would be lonely, and that everyone at this new school would be terrible and I had to move back home and face that shame of failure (obvs, it wouldn't be actual failure to get out of a toxic place if it has been that, but I saw it as such)

When I came to this new school, everything was super different from back home.

My class was, to my standards, filled with so many different people with different cultures. All of them different from mine because I was from across the country, from a small town. And suddenly here I was in a gigantic city.

Anyway, this school taught me a lot, about everything. My class had openly Lgbtq+ people. My new friends were suddenly all queer or questioning, and I was in awe, because... It could be like this?

Also, everyone was super nice to me. Asking for my instagram on day 1 so we could be friends on there, showing me how to get back home in this new city when everything was so new to be, starting conversations and being just geniune good people. Like, huge shout out to those people.

I learned so much about oppression, and how to stand against it in this school, not because I myself was oppressed, I'm white and at the time I thought I was cishet.

No, I learned because our teachers wanted us to learn about all these things that I knew were real problems but I had only heard of in fiction, never in real life.

I got to a safe space, where racist teachers got fired asap. Where teachers were openly queer and my classmates could come out as trans to the class simply by stating their new name and pronouns. No questions asked. I got to a school where every introduction included name and pronouns. Where we were all shown that we can be who we are and that is okay. And where teachers apologized to students in a real and honest way when they did something wrong.

In this environment I got to figure out who I am. Yes it took two years, but I figured it out and felt safe enough to tell my new friends in weeks, because they accept everyone.

So, the question, how do you survive high school?

My answer is simply, you hold onto the belief that you will survive, and that things will get better. And you will get there.

You can try to find other lgbtq+ people in your school, I know some have groups you can join (mine didn't).

And with the tests, I guess I recommend you study, and remember that a bad grade isn't the end of the world. You are worth more than a grade.

I wish I could promise you that you could enter a school like mine, where everything certainly wasn't perfect (you never get rid of high school drama...), but it was still a very friendly space.

But I can promise you that you are not alone and things will be better. If it gets better in high school or if it gets better years later, I can't tell you. But it does get better. And you will survive.

Also, sorry for this extremely long answer, it was probably not what you're looking for. But I hope you find an answer in there eitherway.

Long story short, high school is a shitshow, but the show must go on.

Also, gender neutral bathrooms in schools should be standard (it has been in all schools I've gone to and no one is complaining here, not even the transphobes).

Also, the reason why I barely mention the girls in my old class, is simply because there were almost none and nothing any of them have said when I've been around has been relevant to this answer.

Tell me if you want things tagged or added to the warnings at top.

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

Normally I don't like to ask stuff but I feel distressed. My mom is arguing about a preaching that she heard where it says that the antichrist will be gay. She quotes the book of Daniel, particularly Daniel 11:37. Her argument is that Daniel is a prophecy book therefore it must be true. It just really hurts that she'd say this to me and keeps making remarks about my faith. That I'm not a good enough Christian for not believing like her. Is what Daniel say true or is the interpretation wrong?

Hey there. I’m sorry to hear you’re distressed, and especially that your mom keeps making remarks about your faith. It is not right for any of us to judge another person’s faith like that! 

This is gonna get long, so for a tl;dr, after studying Daniel 11 and its surrounding context I can say pretty confidently that your mom is indeed wrong about how to interpret 11:37. If you want to explore just why with me, read on!

______________

So to start with, I disagree with your mom that everything in the Book of Daniel, or in any “prophecy book” of the Bible, must necessarily be “true” – or “come true” as if it were fortune telling. Biblical prophecy is not fortune telling or future telling. As I say in this post, biblical prophets were actually much more concerned about the present, about how the past had shaped that present, and about how the present could be used to shape the future! This is just a fact of how ancient Israelites viewed prophecy, regardless of how one interprets scripture (whether more fundamentalist / literal as I imagine your mom probably is, or more historical/contextual, etc.). 

Christians who get really into all the biblical visions of “the end times” and the rapture and stuff don’t want to hear this, because they want it to be somehow directly relevant to them and their futures (and that’s understandable), so the following paragraph is just some information for you rather than anything that’s likely to convince your mom:

Most biblical scholars say that most of the biblical prophecies aren’t about “The End Times” the way we conceive of it. The Book of Daniel’s prophecies do include some talk of the actual end of the world, but – like the Book of Revelation in the New Testament – the majority of his prophecies actually refer to kingdoms and intrigue going on in Daniel’s own time (or not so long before or after his own time). 

I have not studied Daniel’s prophecies, like, at all besides reading through them, so I can say more about how the Book of Revelation is less about “the end of the world” and more about “the end of the Roman Empire;” but Daniel follows a similar trajectory of being more about the fall of the empires that have oppressed his people than about the end of the whole world. If you have a Bible that offers footnotes about the historical context going on in any given passage of scripture, it will tell you all about that – that Daniel’s prophecies discuss the sequence of Babylonian, Median, and Persian rulers that oppress his people and criticize those oppressive kings. 

Thus when you go to look at Daniel 11 (and 10), you see that Daniel isn’t talking about “The Antichrist” in this passage – indeed, that title “Antichrist” is not used at all in this Book, or in any book of the Hebrew Bible (Old Testament) at all! – but rather he is talking about a Persian king who is going to arise and oppress his people. The New Interpreter’s Study Bible suggests in its footnotes for 11:37 that the specific king Daniel’s talking about is Antiochus, who “grew exceedingly arrogant: He abandoned his ancestral gods and imposed the worship of Zeus Olympus” – hence 11:37′s statement that he “shall pay no respect to the God’s of his ancestors.”

Now that we’ve reached the verse itself in our discussion, let’s have a closer look at Daniel 11:37. The New King James Version reads, 

“He shall regard neither the God of his fathers nor the desire of women, nor regard any god; for he shall exalt himself above them all.”

The part of this verse that is used by some to claim that “the antichrist” (if you interpret this passage as even being about the antichrist, despite the context pointing to it actually being about a Persian king) is gay is, of course, “nor the desire of women.” 

But along with that seeming like a very random tangent for the prophet to mention in a verse that otherwise is about this king abandoning all gods, the issue with biblical Hebrew is that sometimes getting a precise meaning out of it is hard. Thus “nor the desire of women” is not the only translation into English that one can make from the Hebrew. I’ll list some other translations that have been made (and you can see tons more here):

KJV: “nor the desire of women”

NASB: “or for the desire of women”

NIV: “or for the one desired by women”

ESV and NRSV: “or to the one beloved by women”

New Living Translation: “or for the god loved by women”

CEB: “and the god preferred by women”

Now, there are many conservative Christians who believe that the King James Bible is never wrong, and therefore they’ll insist that the translation to “nor the desire of women” is the one “correct” translation. But even if that is the case, what exactly does “the desire of women” mean in English? Does it mean: 

that this guy doesn’t desire / isn’t attracted to women, as your mom believes? 

could it also mean that he doesn’t care if women desire him? aka he might still desire them, and doesn’t give a damn about whether they like him back

or does it mean that he doesn’t care what women desire/want – i.e., that he won’t listen to them about what they want, perhaps in regards to what gods he respects, since that’s what the rest of the verse is about?

Moving to look at those translations that translate it “the god loved/preferred/beloved by women,” some suggest that this meaning: just as the guy has no regard for “the god of his ancestors,” likewise he has no regard for the god[s] of his wives/concubines. There are examples in the Hebrew Bible of women having different gods from their husbands – Jacob’s wife Rachel takes her household gods with her into his house; Solomon’s many foreign wives convince him to worship their gods with them. So if the Hebrew here, hemdath nashiym, is translated something about “the god loved by the women,” that’s what it could be about – this guy won’t be swayed to worship any god, whether his own family’s gods or his wives’ gods. 

That above reasoning makes much more sense within the context of the verse than it being like “So this guy won’t care about his ancestors’ god, oh also by the way he’s gay or whatever, and back to the god thing, he’s gonna exalt himself over all gods.” It would be such a random tangent! 

_______

So that’s all the language and history stuff. Now let’s get hypothetical: 

so…what if your mom is right? So what if the verse is saying “this guy isn’t attracted women”? (and for the purpose of this hypothetical, let’s say the verse is about the antichrist though as I discussed above I do not believe that it is.) 

First off, just because he doesn’t desire women doesn’t necessarily mean he does desire men. He could be asexual and/or aromantic. That wouldn’t be much better, of course, because we’d be moving from homophobia into aphobia. Asexual and aromantic folks get vilified enough with the stigma that “oh you can’t ~~love~~?? you monster!” So I definitely do not like the supposition that the antichrist is ace/aro; that’s just as icky as him being gay.

But again, we’re in hypothetical land: so let’s say the antichrist is gay, or is aroace. ……..So what??

Gay people, aroace people, aren’t all perfect and good people. We can be badguys too, ya know? If the antichrist were cishet, it wouldn’t mean that All Cishet People Are Therefore Like The Antichrist – so if the antichrist were gay, why would it therefore mean that all gay people are like the antichrist? 

He’s just one person. A big bad person – but his sexuality isn’t necessarily a part of that. He’s not evil because of whatever his sexuality is or isn’t. 

I will close by offering some counterbalances to a supposedly gay (or aroace, or otherwise LGBTQA+) antichrist: there are also LGBTQA+ heroes in the Bible.

Daniel himself may well be one of them!!

To start with, Daniel is most likely a eunuch: after all, he has a position in the Babylonian court, and as David Bayliss notes, “it was customary for Mesopotamian kings in the first millennium BC to surround themselves with eunuchs as servants.” The Bible itself attests to this fact, in places like Isaiah 39:7 that talks about youths being taken from Judah to serve Babylon’s king as eunuchs. Along with those two facts, Bayliss continues with more evidence that Daniel was a eunuch:

Third, the fact that Daniel and the other captured Israelite youths were entrusted to the “chief eunuch” suggests that they were to become young eunuchs themselves.

Fourth, boys to be made into eunuchs were usually selected for their beauty, which is mentioned at the top of the list of selecting criteria in Dan 1:4.

Fifth, there is no mention of Daniel or his companions ever marrying (or having children).

Sixth, Daniel showed no interest in returning to Jerusalem after Cyrus the Great came to the throne (who allowed exiles to return to their homelands), which may have to do with his physical humiliation and the Deut 23:1 ban.“

Now, why’s it matter if Daniel’s a eunuch?? What’s that got to do with being LGBTQA?? Many queer scholars, myself included, have argued that biblical eunuchs share many similarities to gay people, or trans people, etc. I talk about the connection between biblical eunuchs and contemporary trans people in the section of this webpage titled “ ‘Better than sons or daughters’: Isaiah 56″.

(For other resources on eunuchs’ link to LGBT folks, see here, here, here, here.)

On top of that, some scholars have suggested a romantic/sexual relationship between David and the head eunuch under which he served, Ashpenaz. According to Daniel 1:9, Daniel enjoyed “the favor and tender love” of Ashpenaz. This could be a totally platonic thing, or it could be physical; the Hebrew is ambiguous. 

You might not be able to stop your mom from making her awful comments, but maybe being able to respond in your head to her “the antichrist is gay!” with “no, Daniel was gay” will help you a little. 

Please keep safe, and do what you can to keep your mom’s crap from getting to you (I know that’s much harder said than done). You are beloved by the God who made you, friend. And scripture is much queerer than hateful Christians want to admit. 

[dreamingthedoe]

Beltane: The Special Quarantine Edition

Beltane is the Celtic sabbat of fertility, celebrated from sunset on April 30th to sunset on May 1st, meant to mark the full flush of spring and the rising heat of summer. Beltane has its roots in how ancient Celts worshipped a solar deity named Bel, and celebrated his victory over the darkness of winter. In many pagan, duotheistic religions such as Wicca, Beltane recognizes a God (the Green Man, the Oak King, Jack in the Green), and Goddess (May Queen, May Bride, Flora). Beltane is the final consummation of the God and Goddess, who have been courting since the first stirrings of spring. Their union invokes summer and all its bounty. This sabbat is traditionally centered around fertility, represented by flowers, phallic/yonic imagery, and fire. I personally believe in queering up these traditions and celebrating the powers of creation in less cishet ways - honoring the cycles of the land and seasons, but using less literal interpretations of God/Godess and binary/gendered genitalia, etc. Beltane is also the halfway point to Samhain, a twin sabbat that shares the same thinness of the veil between the world of the tangible and the intangible, physical and spiritual. Magic is powerful at this time, but it also means taking more steps for personal protection while practicing magic, and it’s a good time to ward against unfriendly spirits or energy.

Consider the following correspondences when setting up you altar, making an offering, or doing spellwork! Deities: Bel, Cernunnos, Flora, Brigid, Dagda, Xōchiquetzal, Dionysus, Demeter, Persephone, Amun, Bastet, Isis, Inanna, Astarte, Freyja, Freyr (avoided added ones from cultures that have been and are still actively worshipped to this day to the best of my knowledge, such as Kokopelli, as opposed to “dead” religions that have neo-pagan revivals) Colors: green, white, light pink, blue, and yellow Herbs: Honeysuckle, St John’s Wort, rose, lilac, oak, dandelion, hawthorn, foxglove, clover, violet, mint, thyme, mugwort, almond leaves, rowan, marigold, daisies, and lavender. But we’re quarantined, so you can use herbs/flowers from tea sachets, or even fake flowers! If you have some flowers blooming nearby and really need something, only take a tiny amount so that pollinators can have the rest (or better, take naturally fallen flowers. The good intent for the environment goes a long way with the gods and nature). Incense: Frankincense, jasmine, rose, lavender, patchouli, vanilla. No incense? A scented candle is fine, or essential oil on a warmer! Or make a stovetop potpourri with tea bags or vanilla extract! Food: Grain foods like oats and wheat (bannock/bread, oatcakes, oatmeal), honey, salad greens, strawberries, cherries, rhubarb (COOK THAT SHIT OR IT’LL KILL YOU THOUGH), eggs, cheese, and any aphrodisiacs such as chocolate, pistachios, oysters, asparagus, and hot chiles (and cook with aphrodisiac herbs such as fenugreek and saffron). Even a bowl of cereal works! The gods understand that you’re quarantined, and as always in magic: where there is a will, there is a way. Drink: Honeyed milk (dairy or non-dairy), mead, rosewater, herbal teas like jasmine tea, white wine, alcoholic beverages made with egg Altar symbols: cauldron (often filled with and surrounded by flowers), candles, mirrors, floral wreaths, ribbons

Potent Magic on this Sabbat:

Sex magic – Beltane is the premiere sabbat for celebrating sex – therefore, it’s the perfect time to practice sex magic. This can be done through solo sex or partnered sex (whether involving physical contact with a partner or joining intentions together across distance)! Sex magic can be results-oriented or practiced as a kind of “mysticism”. Sex magic practiced for manifesting a specific result keeps in tradition with Beltane, as the Celts were believed to have used sexual ritual on Beltane as a way to increase crop yields for the year. As it goes with all types of magic, everyone practices sex magic differently. In my practice, I use it as a way to simply increase my personal power, strengthen a magical bond with a partner, or exchange energy with a partner to gift each other our qualities and talents for a period of time (this is strengthened through repeated practice with the same partner). With partnered sex magic, be sure not only to have your usual consent talk, but also a consent talk about the ritual/magical aspect. This is not only because consent must always be informed and your partner may not be comfortable with having sex this way; it also ensures that your intentions are aligned and that energy exchange is balanced (otherwise, the manifestation might not succeed as you’d like, or one partner may be left feeling drained or otherwise unfulfilled). I can attach links to resources or write a little more in-depth about my personal experience if you are comfortable with that!

Fire magic - Using flame of some sort in your rituals is especially powerful right now! This can mean using fire in rituals to manifest a goal, such as burning a scrap of paper that you’ve written your intention on. I tend to stretch this definition to include heat, such as charming my tea as I add hot water to my tea sachet, or making magical stovetop potpourri. In my seiðr magic, I often stare into flames to achieve a trance state. I can write more about using fire for trance and divination as well!

Ecstatic dance - Pretty self-explanatory! Ecstatic dance can be used as a form of worship, manifestation, or simply for inducing a trance or “shamanic” state, depending on your personal beliefs and practices. If you are celebrating Beltane with others, one participant can use an instrument such as a drum for the others to dance to. Otherwise, playing music from speakers or headphones is fine as well! The important thing is to either focus on your intention, or clear your head and let the music bring you to a trance state. I can also send links to good resources for practicing ecstatic dance,

           Spellwork: - Glamours - Divination (especially with mirrors!) - Protection - Spells to increase libido and creative powers - Manifestation/increase - Blessings for self-love - Blessings for partners and relationships

If you’d like ideas for spells, charms, and enchantments involving these subjects, let me know! I have some good ones in my grimoire.

Activites:

Decorating a Maypole – This tradition involves “maidens” (but literally whomever, fuck the binary fr) dancing and weaving around a pole while holding ribbons that had been fastened to the top, creating a beautifully woven pattern of ribbons down the structure. Don’t have a 20-ft pole to wrap copious amounts of ribbon around? Decorate a small stick with whatever ribbon-like materials you have about, and put it on your altar or centrally in your home!

Washing your face in morning dew – Not really something we can do in Phoenix, unless you are planning on camping somewhere north overnight! A good substitute is using water charged under the moon, or even just water purified with a spell or purifying crystals. I like draw a bath and purify the water, and focus on cleansing my energy while I take the bath.

Making a bonfire – This is especially difficult to achieve in quarantine. Just having a fire in the fireplace or a simple candle burning is enough! Traditionally on this day, all other fires would be put out save the community’s special Beltane bonfire, but turning off all of your other lights is just fine! Many Beltane traditions involve leaping over the bonfire/candle… I don’t really recommend this, because, you know, getting set on fire.

Handfasting and jumping over a broomstick – Probably highly irrelevant for most, but Beltane is traditionally a time of many marriages. Couples become handfasted when the officiant ties their hands together with a cord, usually woven from three ribbons, usually as the couple take their vows or exchange their declarations of love and devotion. Many couples would jump over a broom as well, to signify the leap from one stage of life to the next (this tradition was borne from couples being unable to afford formal ceremonies, and at one time leaping over a broom together could be seen as legally binding a couple in marriage).

Fertilize – If you have a garden or even a small plant, tend to it witch extra care! Fertilizing is recommended for a Beltane activity, but if your plant would suffer from being fertilized right now, don’t do it. Just speak encouraging words to your plant!

Explore your property – If you have the energy, explore around the outside of your home, or even just make some studied observations of your home interior. It’s your “land”, and it’s a good time to walk around and offer blessings and gratitude to your environment. If you’re able to drive somewhere deeper into nature, it’s a good time to go out and revel in the vibrant life being created all around us. As a Norse pagan, I personally make offerings to the landvættir (roughly, nature spirits) of the desert whenever I go out into nature to thank it.

Make special Beltane recipes! – Such as bread (I’m baking an iced lavender loaf myself), salads with berries, honeyed oatcakes, egg custard, an herb-y chicken stew, etc.

[herecomesnaya]

I tried defending myself about liking underage fics to someone, they said my argument is too black and white and dont make sense like, "i really do not care if it’s fictional bc someone enjoying that kinda content must be based off smth, u must get that idea from somewhere, and i think that’s really sick. that’s normalizing sexualizing children man, it’s so wrong. 1/2

"that’s normalizing sexualizing children man, it’s so wrong. u can’t say fiction and real life are two completely separate entities bc fictional elements are based off of reality!!!!!! and u really thought u said sumn with the horror movie example huh? who or what are u rooting for when u watch horror movies? bc i personally want the ppl to survive. are u reading underage fics bc u want the minors to escape the abusive relationship?" 2/3 rather

"also, not to get to close to u but what do u think ur boss or co-workers or whomever would think if they found out about u enjoying this kinda content? bc that answer should tell u enough about how problematic it is. hope u understand better !" it's bc i had made an example bc i work at an ngo to stop pedophiles from harming children but i read underage fics she rlly said this wow im

undefeatable logic here: the person’s irl career invalidated by their fictional preferences, the same way doctors aren’t allowed to watch horror movies because then they’re promoting grievous injuries

someone’s being too black-and-white here, but it’s not you, anon. enjoying fictional content isn’t, and has never been, a 1:1 “we consume the content we wish we were personally engaged in.” there are a million reasons a person might watch horror movies, just like there are a million reasons a person might want to write underage fics. it’s not “I want to see people escape a murderer” vs. “I want to watch people die,” and it’s not “I want to read about a fictional child being victimized” vs. “I want to see victimized fictional children escape their circumstances.”

I’ve told this story before, but I’ll say it again now. when I was younger, I was terrified of horror movies, to the point of not being able to be in the room if one was playing. I spent more than one Halloween locked in my bathroom, crying my eyes out because there were too many people outside wearing Ghostface masks. I was a far cry from the horror fanatic, Halloween-loving gore writer I am today!

I made a decision at a certain point to consume the media I was most afraid of, like a vaccine against that terror that made it so hard for me to function when I was a kid. horror lets me safely explore the worst-case scenario. it lets me think more about a character’s personality when I can see them at their lowest, what they might do if they’re running from a murderer or trying to escape a torture dungeon. I can dip my toes into that world and rest assured that the safety of real life is waiting for me when I get back.

I hear that person saying “they’re not the same,” so let me address the elephant in the room: sex.

so, yeah, I like horror for all the reasons I listed above. I also like guro, and noncon, and all those other ugly things when it comes to fic and smut. sexualizing horror was another way for me to own that fear, to mold it into something positive instead of negative (you hear a similar thing with rape victims who start to enjoy noncon, etc.). of course I’m still disgusted by the idea of any of that stuff in real life, but in a purely fictional context, it’s a welcome release from day-to-day anxieties.

there are people out there who like things that we can’t even dream of, for reasons we will never understand, reasons that make perfect sense for the person behind them. so much goes into human sexuality, from our formative years all the way through our lives. it’s impossible to break it down into a right-or-wrong, “this is how it works” sort of equation.

so how does this translate to fiction? take Mirror Mask. for me, that series is an exploration into the different outcomes of CSA and rape, with Dick representing hypersexuality and Jason representing sexual aversion. it’s not the Entire Point of the fic, but it’s one of many examples I could give of why I write those things for reasons that aren’t “I like the idea of kids being raped hurrrdurdurdur.” (which I don’t, at all. it disgusts me. but this? ain’t it, chief)

what matters is that you know the difference between your personal preferences and how things should be in the real world. hell, you actively make a difference to real victims, which is more than most antis on this site can say. bullying does nothing but make the person doing it feel powerful. I’d ask that person to examine why they feel the need to “make a difference” by targeting small fandom creators (who are mostly queer/female/people who are mistaken for female) instead of the adult cishet men who made the world this way.

feel free to share this with them, or anyone else you might get into these debates with. sorry I went on for so long, and I hope it helped!

[aion-rsa]

Star Trek: Discovery’s Adira & Gray and The Need For New Kinds of Origin Stories

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This Star Trek: Discovery article contains MAJOR spoilers for Season 3, Episode 4.

Note: I highly encourage you to read Riley Silverman’s “Star Trek: Discovery’s Trans Representation is Both Heartbreaking and Groundbreaking” over at SyfyWire. As a trans woman (not to mention a brilliant pop culture critic), Silverman has a perspective on this representation that I, as a cis woman, do not and has beautifully written about her complex reaction to Discovery‘s latest episodes.

If you pay attention to Star Trek news, then you probably saw and got got hyped about the pre-Season 3 announcement that Discovery would be introducing two trans characters: non-binary character Adira (played by Blu del Barrio) and trans character Gray (played by Ian Anderson). In “People of Earth,” we met Adira, the human host of a Trill symbiont who cannot remember anything of their past. In “Forget Me Not,” Adira traveled to the Trill homeworld and was able to unlock the memories of not only their past self, but the memories of every previous host of the Trill symbiont known as Tal. Those hosts included Gray, Adira’s boyfriend, who we quickly learn was killed when the generation ship both Adira and Gray grew up on was hit by what appeared to be asteroid. While the final act of the episode shows that Adira can still see and interact with Gray for some as-of-yet unexplained reason, we still had to watch Gray die in Adira’s arms. This was our introduction to his character, and is now the traumatic backstory that both Adira and Gray share.

Star Trek: Discovery is making some wonderful strides when it comes to inclusive storytelling. It is so very cool to have Adira and Gray as part of the Season 3 cast for this show, which has always intentionally worked to be an inclusive representation of our own world. Both Adira and Grey are introduced as complex characters whose gender identities are only part of their stories. Adira is an engineering (and art) genius who gets snarky with Michael and is incredibly brave. Gray, who we have spent less time with, is warm and loving; he plays the cello beautifully and knows how to make Adira laugh. Both characters are played by actors who share their gender identities, and whose input has been taken into account in shaping the characters’ journeys. This is why it is frustrating to see these two young trans characters strapped with such a traumatic origin story, one that leaves one of them dead and the other forced to face the loss of their loved one.

Pop culture loves a traumatic origin story. From Disney to Game of Thrones, it’s honestly difficult to find a mainstream narrative that doesn’t include some kind of gruesome past. If Jane Austen either couldn’t imagine or simply just didn’t care what a conversation between only dudes might look like, then much of our white male-driven mainstream pop culture seems unable to imagine or care about what a backstory without violence might look like. When the backstory in question is centering a white cishet man, a traumatic origin story may be trite but it’s not usually traumatizing. But when a traumatic origin story centers a trans character, for example, it hits different—not only because trans representation on TV is still so rare, but because so much of what does exist is told through a lens of violence and trauma that can be triggering for those who share the identity and a dangerously narrow representation of the diverse trans experience for those who don’t.

As popular culture strives for greater inclusivity (and positive change happens much faster in front of the camera than it does behind it), there is a representation lag time: an era of storytelling in which we have more diverse characters included in central aspects of our stories, but they are placed in narrative structures developed by, for, and around the white cishet male experience and perspective. While, to some, this might seem like perfect diversity—to represent queer characters, for example, in just the same as you would represent straight characters—it is not. To better understand this, let’s use the language of equality vs. equity.”Equality” is treating everyone the same, whereas “equity” is giving everyone what they need to be successful. If the goal here is more inclusivity (which I genuinely think it is for Star Trek: Discovery), then that means recognizing that characters with marginalized identities are starting out with a disadvantage in a storytelling culture that skews so heavily towards the white cishet perspective, and has for a very long time. That means thinking before placing trans and queer characters in the same narrative structures that were built for white cishet men, and brainstorming what interesting, respectful, and inclusive kinds of beginnings, middles, and ends could look like for diverse marginalized characters.

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There’s presumably much more story to tell when it comes to Adira, Gray, and their relationship, and there is presumably narrative room to see these groundbreaking characters defined both separately and together by many other kinds of experiences. When these new characters were first announced, Star Trek: Discovery showrunner Michelle Paradise (a queer woman!) made it clear that the writing team (“Forget Me Not” was written by Alan McElroy, Chris Silvestri, and Anthony Maranville) would be working with Nick Adams at GLAAD, as well as actors del Barrio and Anderson “to create the extraordinary characters of Adira and Gray, and bring their stories to life with empathy, understanding, empowerment and joy.” It’s amazing to see not one, but two trans characters as central parts of the Star Trek story, even if there are going to be some stumbles along the way. There’s more story to come for Adira and Gray, and I am excited to see it.

The post Star Trek: Discovery’s Adira & Gray and The Need For New Kinds of Origin Stories appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[soft-hockey]

Your opinion on the nhl currently and why?

(This is mod Honey)

Current Opinion: the nhl can suck my metaphysical dick 

Why: They are a consistently bigoted league. NOTE: I do not mean that every single player, team, and fan is a bad. This is meant as an observation-based statement, not an accusation with a target. I don’t want people feeling like I’m trying to start shit with them as individuals, but y’all have to know that I, especially as a queer poc, am painfully aware of all the shit that happens. 

Some examples of the BS: 

The tone that the hockey fandom generally takes with players of color compared to their white “babies” 

Calm ur jets babes, I have faves (*cough* the whole Leafs’ roster)  that I love to coddle too. But like,, the overwhelming responses when players of color get penalties or pull some shit in games vs. when white people get penalties/pull shit… u know some shit is up

You Can Play Ambassadors being treated basically as PR props. Like, seriously. You guys wouldn’t believe how hype I was when I first heard about the initiative, but when I started seeing that it was all pretty much an appeasement fluff-piece it broke my heart. 

The NHL acting as if having one (1) Out Gay will solve their problems and prove they are The Most Enlightened League. Like, the general focus on pretending (like I said, the YCP Ambassadors are all fluff with no sway or actual responsibility) to prepare for The One instead of creating an environment where players and fans don’t have to be nervous about their sexualities.

The league has been around for 100+ years. Somebody has been gay. Statistically, there are multiple people currently in the league who are gay. The YCP president has literally said he has had gay players contact him. You know why they’re not out? It’s not because they’ve been waiting for their team to have an opportunity to take a fake-ass “progressive” initiative and smile while taking a few brief photographs. Homophobia is scary as balls and I would be terrified as hell if being out meant losing my career. I’m not out and I don’t have nearly as much to lose as those dudes do. 

You know what would make both me and an NHL player come out? Legitimate support from our peers and authority figures. Like, if teams gave an actual shit and made unified team statements and policies that supported the privacy, safety, and job security of queer players I guarantee that players would be out. Maybe not to the whole world, because to be quite honest it’s not the whole world’s business, but at least the players and fans would feel safer and that’s the most important thing. 

I’m GAY and PASSIONATE about that. 

The league is overwhelmingly white in a way that comes from years of systematic discrimination. Obviously there’s been improvement (short list: PK, Price, Auston Matthews, Josh Ho-Sang), but when people try to deny  that there needs to be improvement it makes me, as a person whose family has lived through discrimination since they set foot in this damn country and then told to not talk about it because talking about discrimination makes white people “uncomfortable,” it makes me feel,, how you say,,, very damn Not Good. When people try to ignore shit like that it’s generally a red flag for me. We need more players of color. We need to acknowledge the gaps between the fans, the league, and the real world. 

Speaking of acknowledging the real world, the whole reason the nhl can currently suck my dick, the Piss-tsburgh Penguins accepting the “honor” of going to the White House and actually validating the noxious tangerine that is running the USFG. 

Does the team not realize that he is legitimately a serial sexual harasser, if not sexual assaulter? Have they considered what their support of him signals to women who are their fans? The men who come to their games? 

Have they not thought about his blatant pandering to the wealthy at the cost of the middle and working classes? Obviously any professional sport is a rich man’s game, but have they thought about all of the fans who, you know, aren’t rich? The fans whose lives (specifically health care) are targeted literally on the daily by the man that they signaled their support for

Have they not thought of the fans of color? The fans who are more than fans, are neighbors and students and store clerks who had to listen as Sharon down the street or an old man with a stick up his ass talked about how Trump will “Make America Great Again”?

Do they even know what that means? To have so many people take the initiative of improving your country to mean “getting out everyone who doesn’t look or live like white cishet?” The VP literally thinks I need the gay electrocuted out of me. I live in the South and the way that people treat me has been noticeably different, noticeably worse since Tr*mp was elected. It’s not about policy, it’s about people’s real damn lives. 

This doesn’t even start to cover all the bs with K*ne and the horrible way that the league handles scandals. 

I understand that it’s tradition. I know that when people (eg- rich white men, the majority of the league) don’t have anything at stake in something like this, it’s easier for them to be complacent than it is for them to do the thing that is ethically right. They act as if they’re doing it because it’s expected, a part of the natural course, but it’s not, it’s a choice. An object doesn’t move unless it acts or is acted upon. The natural, effortless course would have been for them to do nothing at all, maybe not even validate the invitation. They chose to accept it, chose to publicly express support for the tire-fire that is our president, chose to validate him. They will choose to get dressed up, get on a plane, pose with him, and have him be publicly associated with their team in front of every fan, marginalized or otherwise. 

I understand that it’s tradition. So is the complacency of privileged people when they are given an opportunity to take a stand. 

Tradition isn’t an excuse. Look at the NBA; look at the NFL. Neither of those leagues are perfect, but damn, at least they’re trying. 

[twinkrevali-moved]

rant bc i’m die

god no wonder i fucking hate myself lmao.

my mum has no respect for me or my identity. she keeps saying that she hopes me being trans is a phase, that she’ll stop my college from using my name and my pronouns. she made a joke on saturday, saying “goodnight, whoever you are” (referring to me wanting to be called riley instead of my deadname). i get that it was a joke but she needs to understand that jokes can still be hurtful. she’s in her fucking fifties, you’d think that by now she would’ve realised that her actions have consequences. and my dysphoria was really bad that day so it made feel so much more shitty than i need to be right then.

i haven’t identified as a girl since i was fifteen, when i became more knowledgeable about gender identities. phases don’t usually last two years. society needs to stop acting as if not being straight or cis is a phase, because like 99% of the time people who identify as lgbt+ stay lgbt+. sure they can fluctuate between identities within the community and that’s fine, but they pretty much never go back to identify as cis and/or straight.

i understand that this is a new concept is new to her, since she obviously grew up in a world where gender roles were strong. my family has always been very traditional and i can tell that i’m the black sheep of the family for being the weird, queer and autistic one in a family of neurotypical cishets.

she has tried, per say. she joined a facebook group that is for parents of trans children and trans adults to provide information for them, and i really appreciate that. but now she’s using that as an “i tried once and didn’t understand it the first time, guess i’ll give up now” excuse. today my psychologist provided me with a bunch of useful websites that have resources for trans and nb children/teens and their parents and she pretty much said that to me to get out of having to look at them.

my college has been really respectful of my identity. my classmates and teachers don’t necessarily know i’m trans, but they’re fine with calling me riley, and i’ll tell them about my pronouns when i’m ready. my close friends are already fine with using my pronouns, and my college is fairly accepting so if i ask then things should be fine. strange how i can get more respect from strangers than i can from my own mother, huh?

listen here mum (i know you’ll never see this because i would rather die than show you my blog but still), if you really want to be a supportive parent then you need to start listening and stop talking over me. use my name, use my pronouns, make me not want to kill myself everytime i hear my deadname or the wrong pronouns instead of actually making me want to do it. you can’t just ignore this and keep pretending i’m your perfect dream cishet child.

i’ve told you already that i don’t even respond to my deadname anymore. my brain doesn’t process it properly, so i don’t know why you’re so insistent on using it. i’m fine if you slip up occasionally because it takes some getting use to, but why bother making other people use that name when i clearly don’t think “oh shit, they’re speaking to me” when people who don’t know my actual name use it.

and if the reason why you want me to be cis is because i’ll be a target of transphobes, then you need to understand that i seriously don’t fucking care what they think. they’re all fucking losers. i have the willpower to fight for my rights, and i know that i’m protected by my country’s laws. hiding from them and not fighting back is giving them what they want. i’d rather go down fighting for my humanity that let shitheads who still live in the 1800s walk all over me.

you need to realise that i’m never gonna blend in with people. i’m autistic, i’m always going to be an outcast. you know that you can’t change me being autistic so why should this be any different? you need to stop caring about what other people think. i have and i’m much better off. i have the mindset of “if people don’t like who you are then fuck them, you don’t need them”, and guess what, that’s been really useful in avoiding having friends who make me feel shitty.

let me be happy. let me be my own person. i turn eighteen in less than a year and when i do i’m going to properly start transitioning, and you won’t be able to stop me then. when i go to college tomorrow i might even start openly asking my teachers and peers to use my pronouns. you can either start being more supportive, educate yourself and be the better parent (since my dad clearly isn’t going to accept it), or you can stay where you are. either way i’m going to get what i want: a good life. i love you but goddamn let me live my life and make my own choices.