#also I've got what feels like homesickness but it's not for anywhere we've been to and it's not really for source stuff

[thethingything]

I have tasks to do but no our brain's too focused on being painfully nostalgic and I also keep getting the vibe that the stuff we got upset about last night is gonna come up again and like, okay yeah I need to process some emotions apparently but can I at least get something done while that happens...

[eisforeidolon]

Question: Has there ever been a moment on set or in a series that has made you so seriously contemplate quitting acting and like who was the person [audience laughs] - No! Like who was the person who helped you stay, who was your grounding stone that really made you want to keep in this career? Or has there just been a moment that's made you say I'm done with this and what helped you stay in the career?

Jared: Great question. I think I know what you're asking. Uh, there was certainly several moments - there were countless moments where it's like this is more than I got. And more often than not, it would happen on set, I was on set with Jensen or I worked with Jensen, so it's like hey, we got it, we've been through harder. You know, like, let's figure this out, just get through the day. And there was always that great feeling at the end of the day, we did something you didn't think - that prior to that day you didn't think you were capable of doing? There was certainly some uncomfortable scenes or sequences or - You know it generally didn't have to do with acting or the character, that I kind of - I - You know I'm not a writer and so I've accepted as an actor that I'm largely telling somebody else's story and hopefully able to weave in my own where it's possible and learn from their story when possible? So it hasn't really had anything to do with what my character did. It's usually when something - just like with everybody, when something is going on in your head or in your [finger quotes] real life? When you're at work, like I don't like anything right now. I don't wanna do - not that I don't wanna act, I just don't wanna be here, I don't wanna be anywhere. And I think a lot of that was Ackles, you know when I was experiencing that, with work, at work I think a lot of - yeah, the most I ever wanted to leave acting was frankly, when I had to leave Austin and fly to Vancouver. You know, Vancouver - as many of y'all know, many of y'all are from there - is one of the most beautiful cities on the planet. It's amazing, nice people, great food - yeah. [Jensen nods and pounds his fist over his heart] Loved our crew, loved our cast, but there's something about when you're gonna see, when you're saying bye to your kid 6 pm on a Sunday and they say when do you come back? And you say I'll be back in, uh, twelve days, but I'll FaceTime you - and they start crying. And then I'll have to leave for the airport and I'm running late? That sucks. That's rough. And I feel for parents, for anybody who has to leave on a regular basis. That was probably the most rough. But he and I could also talk about that, like, it sucks. Like, JJ has a teacher's appointment on this after this or Tom has a teacher's appointment or whatever, you know? We were missing a lot of key moments. And so it's just, it's difficult to have to leave, I guess.

Jensen: Any moment on The Boys. [Jared laughs] Has not only made me question my career choice, but also my life. Um, no, I think there was only one moment in my life that I can remember where I was contemplating walking away. And it was very early on. I had just turned 19, and I had just come off of a television show called Mr. Rhodes that was my first, like, real gig when I moved out to LA at 18. And I worked for a full season for NBC at Universal Studios and I was like, oh, this is amazing. And then that show got cancelled. And by that time, all my friends back home were all in college, and they were sharing all these incredible stories and I was also a kid, I was 19 and I was really, really homesick. And I wanted to go home. I was like, I don't know if I want to do this. And I had - I was up for a job, I'd had one audition and I had a callback coming and this was the moment where I was like I don't think I'm gonna do this, I don't wanna do - I wanna go home, I want to go to college and just go that path that I abandoned. And I was like, I'll tell you what, if I get this role, then I'm meant to stay. And it was Days of Our Lives. Yeah, and I signed a three year deal, so I couldn't go. But I was literally like, already starting to pack my stuff, and just had it riding, put it all on that one - and I didn't think I was gonna get it. It wasn't like, oh, I'm gonna get this so you know. Cause I literally thought I was not getting that role. I was the youngest guy that was up for the role, I was certainly the least developed muscularly? Like all those soap guys were just all jacked and ripped and I was like - I was just some skinny kid from Texas. And I thought there's no way they're gonna go with me, they're gonna go with some, you know, some big Adonis pretty boy guy. And they went with the skinny kid from Texas and that's why I'm still here.