#also a Very Very Interesting line where Harry still tries to tell a furious hurt Kim that he spoke to the city

[disco-tic-wonderland]

Oh no… If Harry fails the red encyclopedia check on Kimball, and simply comes up with ‘Hey aren’t Seolites all good at pinball?’

Oh man. So. That stereotype is likely why a junior officer Kim was put on the pinball squad in the first place.

It’s crazy how much racism is presented in fridge logic form. It hits so hard. The shit this man puts up with every day of his life. I just wanna hug him.

Fun fact: look up Seolite in fayde. I’ve been breaking my own heart all morning lol. I was trying to figure out if there were inconsistencies in Kim’s telling of his own background. I keep getting a Feeling about it. He says his grandparents are from Seol, but that both his parents are half Seolite, also his father wasn’t in the picture, but *also* that his parents were killed in the revolution…so he didn’t know his mother either? And he says he’s only a quarter Seolite, but with two half parents, is that correct? In his position, I think I’d tell half-truths as well, or whatever I needed to say to get racists off my ass. It is canon that Kim messes with racists by playing into stereotypes, and bless him for it because he’s so damn funny about it.

[rhenuvee]

PDA (Fred Weasley x reader)

A/N: So I’ve seen a lot of headcanons for Fred that he is big on PDA with his s/o, so here is a fic about it. Lightly based on the song PDA by Scott Helman- WOW who would’ve known. 

Warnings: If it wasn’t obvious already- a l o t o f M A K I N G O U T, and George being done with your BS x5

*I realized I’m an idiot for not doing this sooner so tell me if you’d like to be tagged in my future fics. I write for 3 fandoms so please specify which one!*

---------------------------------------

It was your seventh year at Hogwarts and you had mixed feelings about it. Last year was overwhelming with the events of the Triwizard Tournament, you hoped that this year would be better (aha sike bich). The thing you did look forward to however, was seeing Fred.

The two of you actually just started dating after he asked you to the Yule ball. In fact, he was a little overwhelming himself... in a good way though. He was never shy to show affection, even when others were around which was embarrassing sometimes.

He would hold you close by wrapping his long arm around your shoulder while walking together in the hallways, cuddling in the common room, give you hugs that would squeeze the life out of you, and good lord- the snogging especially made you red-faced. The hot intimacy between the both of you did not leave room for keeping your hands off each other.

Or as George corrected, your faces.

You walked down the hall with the destination of the entrance of the great hall fixated in your mind, surprisingly not noticing the two redheads sticking out of the crowd of students, until-

“WHERE IS MY GORGEOUS GIRLFRIEND?! I CAN’T SEEM TO FIND HER, (Y/N) DARLING WHERE ARE YOU?!” yelled your boyfriend being obnoxiously loud and attracting weird looks and giggles from other students. Your eyes immediately found him and started marching towards his and his twin’s direction with both your hands covering the sides of your face, like a horse with blinders. As if that made the situation any better.

“Fred..!” you whisper scolded him. You already predicted the mischievous smirk that appeared on his face. 

“Yes love, what’s the problem?” he said rather neutrally trying to sound naive. You deadpanned. 

“You were just a tad too quiet there.” you said sarcastically.

“Really, should I say it louder-”

“No Fred-”

“Well what did you expect, for him to shut up?” asked George scoffing and earning a hit to his arm by his twin. You giggled. 

“Not like you could do any better,” retorted Fred. “Go in already.” George shook his head in annoyance as he was shooed away into the great hall. You were about to head in as well when Fred’s hand stopped you and turned you around back to face him.

“Not going to leave me hanging without a kiss are you?” he asked with his hand on your waist. You subconsciously walked closer to him, it felt warm in his embrace. You pecked him on the lips trying to be cheeky, but when you were about to pull back quickly, he was faster and brought you back to his lips with his hand lightly on your cheek.

You gave into the kiss, you really had missed him. And you could tell he did too by the way he was kissing you. He deepened the kiss, his lips tasted like chocolate. But you could feel that almost everyone was in the great hall already, and that you were going to end up with bruised lips again and tardiness. 

You were running out of breath- but that’s just how Fred liked it. Kissing you until you’re completely breathless and had to lean against him for support. 

“F-Fred...” you said in between breaths trying your hardest to resist the urge to kiss him more. He pulled away slowly with a huge grin on his face, still holding you close to him. He chuckled at how much you looked like you needed an inhaler. 

“Fine, to be continued then.” he said grabbing your hand and walked with you to the Gryffindor table to sit. 

The table looked full from the view from the entrance, but once Fred spotted where his twin was, there was an empty space saved for the two of you. It wasn’t long before you and your boyfriend were immersed in the conversation and laughter with your friends around you. It also wasn’t long before George lost his appetite after seeing you and Fred getting all mushy. 

Everyone paused their talking and eating when Dumbledore came up to announce the new changes in staff. The lady in pink who you now know was Dolores Umbridge. She seemed... interesting...

“-I’m sure we’re all going to be very good friends.” she said with her hands clasped.

“That’s likely.” the twins said rather loud enough for it for others to hear it. You hit them both lightly at the same time while shaking your head, as if scolding them. They giggled at your reaction.

-------------------------

Your high hopes that this year wouldn’t be chaotic really did you a bamboozle. You tried your best to remain positive, and that maybe Umbridge would turn out to be a good teacher but she really did prove you wrong.

On the particular day that you got the lines etched into your own skin, you felt a mixture of anger and sadness. Before, you could feel your grades getting lower, your assignments and classroom performance getting sloppier and just overall not like you at all. The blood quill was just the cherry on top.

The thoughts worsened when you thought about how Fred would react. You knew he would be furious, seeing as he was already frustrated when many others close to him had to write lines with the blood quill.

“Just tell him (y/n), you can’t keep something like this from him.” said Hermione putting a hand on your arm. You shook your head and covered the hand with the scars by pulling your sleeve up. Harry and Ron were also there to comfort you while the common room was bustling with the people still up.

Not much longer, Fred, George and Lee walked in from the portrait hole. You tensed up and suddenly felt stiff. Hermione gave you a reassuring look to try and ease your nerves. The trio then went to do their own things so they wouldn’t be pressuring you.

“Hey doll, why the long face?” he said plopping right next to you and tilting your chin with his index finger to face him. You smiled attempting to mask your real feelings.

“It’s nothing Freddie, just tired.” you said pecking his cheek. A frown appeared on his face as his hand moved to run through the bunches of hair that came loose.

“I can tell when you’re lying love, please tell me what’s wrong.” he pleaded. How could you say no to those eyes?

“I-It’s just that I’m not doing too well on my schoolwork, and I don’t feel like I’ll get my dream job and I don’t know maybe I’m just not working hard or doing enough-“

“Darling.” he said sternly interrupting your rambling. You could feel tears prick at the corner of your eyes.

“I don’t want to hear that you think that you’re not enough or any crap like that. Umbridge’s stupid rules and methods aren’t worth a single tear from your pretty face. So please love, don’t be so hard on yourself.” he said sweetly, wiping the tears away with his thumb. You wiped your face with your sleeve, but that’s when Fred saw it. He felt better knowing that he cheered you up somehow but it went back to concern as he saw the lines on your hand as your sleeve stretched up.

“What did she do to you.” he said not drifting his gaze away from your eyes. Uh oh. You gulped and pulled your hand away quickly, not wanting him to observe your hand any longer. He grabbed your arm back, pulled up the sleeve, then stood up like he was about to leave. You felt nauseous, your boyfriend was nothing but wrath.

“I swear I will-“

“Fred, no!”

“And why not?!” he shot back quickly. People’s attention were now at the two of you.

“Because there’s no way to fix it Fred! It will only make things worse, and I don’t want you to get hurt!” you cried, grabbing his hand trying to prevent him from doing something he would regret. You winced at the memory of the day he had to write lines.

Fred hated to admit but you were right. There wasn’t anything he could do. He especially did not want to make you upset. He messed up his hair with his hands stiff in frustration and sighed.

“You’re right darling, I’m sorry I got mad. It’s just I can’t stand Toadface hurting you...” he trailed off, sitting back down with you.

“If it makes you feel better, you look hot when you’re mad.” you said in his ear getting closer to him. He was surprised at your words, but it didn’t take long for him to get cocky again.

“You really think so?” he asked smirking and running his hand through his hair again. He always knew how to get you riled up.

You could tell that was not the end of it. His mouth opened and you knew he was about to yell it out. You covered his mouth with your hand and his announcement came muffled. Both of you laughed before Fred removed your hand.

“What was that for darling? I wasn’t gonna say anything.” he said.

“Yeah right, knowing how much of a clown you are I really don’t think so.” you said.

“You wound me darling, really.” he said putting his hand to his chest. He then remembered the scars on your hand and frowned at the sight of them. He rubbed his thumb on them lightly as if to soothe them.

“Hey, why don’t we just cuddle here tonight.” you said trying to distract him from your scars. A grin appeared on his face.

“That might’ve been the best idea you’ve had all day love, cmon then.” he said opening his arms for you to dive into.

———————————

You were really sad the day Fred and George flew out of Hogwarts. Yes, you were over the moon to see Umbridge’s face running away, and you were especially proud of the twins. But you couldn’t help but for your heart to feel empty without Fred.

They’ve told you first when planning the prank. Fred was particularly upset at himself that he had to leave you, but you reassured him that you wanted him to follow his dream, and that you wanted so bad to see the shop. The long lasting kiss you had before he left was his motivation to make the shop a success.

Finally, the day came when you were able to see the shop of the first time. Ginny, Hermione, Harry and Ron agreed to go with you.

“(Y/n), slow down!” Shouted Ginny from the distance. But you couldn’t- you couldn’t wait to see Fred much longer. You ran the whole way to Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, not caring that you were running out of breath quickly.

You swung open the door and took in the view of the shop- it was amazing.

“(Y/n)!” a familiar voice called out from the top of the stairs. Your eyes were immediately fixed on the bright figure- your Fred.

You both began to run and dodge through the crowd to find each other. You missed him, and he missed you.

“Freddie!” you called out, able to see his fiery red hair moving quickly. Like in those muggle movies, you both ran towards each other and Fred twirled you around before kissing you. It was cheesy, but you didn’t care anymore, you were together again.

You almost crashed into each other when you embraced and had a passionate kiss that was long overdue. It was sloppy, and his hands were everywhere. But that was just how he liked it- kissing you until you were breathless and leaning on him for support. Suddenly running was not such a good idea.

“Oooookay ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for the minor inconvenience, if everyone could just take a precaution and swerve away from the lovebirds, you will be fine.” announced George to the people.

Both you and Fred pulled away with lips very bruised. Customers made weird faces, and parents steered their kids out of your way. I mean, you were kissing in the middle of the shop.

“Sod off, mate.” said Fred, his voice slightly quieter since he was out of breath. George only shrugged.

“I will, don’t want to throw up in the middle of the store do I?” questioned George. You giggled and Fred rolled his eyes.

“Oh, and (y/n), it’s really good to see you,” he said hugging you. “We missed you a lot, not sure if you could tell.”

Your eyebrows raised at Fred who looked the other direction and whistled pretending not to know again. And with that, George winked and turned on his heel to leave.

“Well, for once he wasn’t wrong.” admitted Fred. Looking at the way your lips were puffed in the middle of the shop, he definitely wasn’t.

“Now where’s my grand opening gift?” he asked playfully. You realized that you hadn’t prepared anything. You felt embarrassed that you didn’t get your boyfriend a present for his shop that was clearly a success.

“I’m kidding love, just a kiss will do.” he said bringing his large hand to rub the side of your neck. Getting a closer look at him, you could see slight differences from the last time you saw him. His hair was messier, and the red really stood out from the colours of the shop. You could see his freckles and dimples much clearer now.

Fred was about to lean in to kiss you again when George purposely bumped shoulders with him with a flimsy piece of cardboard in his hands.

“Oi, George what the hell?” asked Fred. George said nothing but turned and flipped the piece of cardboard to reveal the words ‘NO PDA’ on it. Oh, it was a sign specifically for you two.

“No need to be such a party pooper, Georgie. This is Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, not Wealsey’s Wizard Gheezers.” said Fred earning a hearty laugh from you.

“Your constant lip-locking is making the customers disgusted, and honestly I am too.” he grumbled.

“Maybe he’s feeling lonely...” you whispered to your boyfriend.

“I’m not lonely!” George protested. Oops, he heard you.

“(Y/n) does make a good point, maybe we should contact Angie-“ teased Fred. You smiled at the thought. You remembered back then when George was swooning over her, but never acted upon it.

“Don’t you dare.” said George with this eyebrows crossed but a light pink evident on his cheeks.

You felt giddy as you watched your boyfriend and his twin bickering. You could only imagine how happy you’d be hanging around the shop-

However, you’d have to find a way out of that ‘NO PDA’ sign.

———————————————————

Link to pt2: Part 2

[idunnoficsorsumthing]

Issues lol

I got a new phone. An Iphone 8. Also anyone else out there with commitment issues they can’t explain? like your parent’s aren’t divorced, and you didn’t have a toxic past relationship? but relationships scare the hell out of ya?

George Weasley x female! reader

“Go out with me.” George asked. You shake your head at George. “No. ” you said plainly. You gesture at him to leave. “You ought to be nicer to him.” Hermoine said, from across the table. “I am making him work for it.” you tell her. A smile appeared on your face as Beth sat down next to you. “She believes that once a man gets what he wants he loses interest.” Beth explained to Hermoine. She frowned, and shook her head. “Do you go out with other guys?” Hermione asked. You shake your head. Hermione really did look confused. “It is so she can hide the fact that she is scared of commitment.” Beth said, You shrug, you hadn’t heard that George ever went out with another girl. Not that the two of you ever talked about the terms of your relationship. You weren’t interested in being that girl that had a boyfriend, and were lovey dovey all the time. You went out with George whenever you felt like it. You didn’t need to be his girlfriend. It was just casual fun. “So George could get a girlfriend at any moment, considering the two of you aren’t in a relationship.” Hermione said, you shake your head. But, she was right. 

She had a point, neither of you ever referred to one another as girlfriend or boyfriend, and the casual make out sessions weren’t exactly what you’d call being in a relationship. This has been going on since the beginning of the school year, and christmas break was coming up soon. He would go home with his siblings, and you’d go home to London. Every year the seventh, and sixth year students organized a christmas party, and only people from younger years would only be invited by seventh year students. First, second, and the faculty knew nothing about it. You were a fifth year student, and George would probably ask you to come with him. Although this year was tricky because of Umbridge, and you weren’t even sure if there was going to be a christmas party. 

“Will you come with me to the secret christmas party?” he asked. He slid down on the seat beside you in potions. He looked at you with begging eyes. “Actually I got asked by someone else.” you told him. You didn’t want him to get too close. You realised that you were only comfortable with him when he was just a make out session instead of a boyfriend

“And you said yes?” he seemed confused. You nod. “Yes” you tell him. He looked really disappointed, and somewhat hurt. “Ow, I assumed you’d come with me.” He said, you give him a smile. “Well, you’re not my boyfriend, are you?” You said, getting up from your chair. 

At the party you were dancing with Andrew, your date. You were far from interested in him. But, he was a great distraction from George’s glaring eyes. He seemed very angry about you leaving him at the end of potions class. “Want to go make out?” Andrew asked. You look over at George, he was laughing at something Lee said. Thank god, you didn’t want to see him at the moment. Yet, you also didn’t want to see him hurt. “So?” Andrew asked. You nod. The two of you make it out to the hallway. Andrew pressed your body against a wall. You didn’t like how forceful he was. George was rough but that but you trusted George to not cross any boundaries. You tried to push Andrew away a little. But, it didn’t break the kiss. He noticed he crossed the line and kept standing a step away. between the two of you.  “Get the fuck away from her.” You hear a familiar voice exclaim. You feel Andrew being pulled away. 

You open your eyes to see George punching Andrew. One single punch. “What the hell Weasley!” Andrew said he was ready to hit George. But, when he looked at you and you shook your head, he showed George his middle finger and left. “What the hell is wrong with you?” George asked you. You frown. “What the hell is wrong with YOU” you said loudly. You knew the two of you should keep quiet in case Umbridge got a whiff of it. George pulled you by your wrist to a nearby classroom. There was only one classroom in this part of the castle. The astronomy tower. You were too furious with him to keep quiet up all the way to the top of the stairs. “George seriously. You can’t just fucking punch people, you’ll get in trouble with Umbridge” you snap. He glared at you before looking back at the steps. “I don’t care about Umbridge.” He said, he said as he was on the top of the stairs. “Why are you snogging Andrew Bogsley?” he said, anger radiated from him. “Well, I am a single woman I can do as I please” you said, he shook his head, and a faint laugh was on his lips. “and I considered you my girlfriend.” he said, you sat down on one of the crates in the room. “I don’t do relationships” you tell him. George chuckled. “So you said” he said, he looked hurt. Exactly what you didn’t want to do. “I want a relationship with you.” He said, you shake your head. “I can’t do that.” you cried out. You feel an overwhelming feeling of sadness washed over you. He shook his head. “I want you and me to work, okay.” he said: “I don’t want you to go home, and snog guys over winter break. I want you to come visit me, and I can introduce you to my mum.” not only sadness filled you but also fear. A lot of fear. “I really don’t feel comfortable with that George. There is a reason I keep things loose.” you tell him. He sits down on the crate beside you. “Who the hell damaged you?” He asked. He put his hand on your cheek. He didn’t say anything more, and tears started to flood your eyes. People you trusted, people that were supposed to be there for you. They all hurted you, and it was all pain. “I’m not going to hurt you” he said: “I might even love you” you chuckled. “Oh that’s a word a girl wants to hear. Might!” You laugh sarcastically. “Fine you bloody idiot. I love you” he said, he pressed his lips against yours. “Give me a chance. I know you want to.” He chuckled. A smile appeared on your face, and he was right. You wanted to, you wanted soemthing that you knew wasn’t going to work. “Yes” you said, 

This scared you more than anything in the entire world. You were standing in front of your fireplace with floo powder in your hand. “Call me when you get there.” Your mother said,  she was absolutely not a fan of you spending a couple of days at George’s house. She actually wanted to forbid it, but you promised you’d sleep with Ginny.  

“E’llo dear” Molly greeted. When you stepped out of their fireplace. She greeted you with a hug, which took you by surprise. George and Fred were standing side by side. Those were the only Weasleys waiting to greet you, as Ron was into town with Hermione and Harry. Ginny was off with friends. “We fixed you a bed with Ginny and Hermione. Oh we are so glad to have you here.” She said, you just give her an awkward smile. “Good to see you, Freddie” you teased him. He just scrunched his nose at you. “I’ll be watching you.” He said: “ if you knock him up. I’ll know where to find you.” You all stared at Fred. Molly was about to say something. “Wrong person” he said, Turning to his brother. “Knock her up and you are dead.” Fred said,  you chuckle. George hit his brother in the shoulder. “We are going to go now.” George said, taking you by your hand. You follow him up the stairs. He showed you Ginny’s room where two makeshift beds were made.  “If you wake up in the middle of the night.  You are more than welcome to come over to my room. You should know that Fred snores.” He said cheekily. He took you outside to the fields that were now empty, and only a couple of trees were to be seen in the distance. He told you how pretty it was in late summer when all the wheat reached higher than the people standing in it. “Are you alright?” He asked before the two of you were supposed to come in for dinner. “Yeah-no i think so” you said, he pecked a kiss on your cheek. The two of you sat down at the crowded dinner table, that was loud and Arthur noticed you. “You are new aren’t you?” He asked you. “Dad! This is y/n my girlfriend.” George said, his dad squinted his eyes at his son. “I had no idea” he said to himself mostly. It made you feel uncomfortable that George actually referred ro you as his girlfriend. “Dad you’d forget your head if it wasn’t attached.” Fred said, Molly glared at her sin, and several others were smirking. George pecked a kiss on your cheek, and you wanted to push him away from you. But, you didn’t. 

You didn’t see George that evening, actually you were kind of glad to have some girl time. The two of them just wanted to talk about George and you. “I thought you didn’t want to be a girlfriend?” Hermione asked. You shrug, putting your hand in the popcorn bowl. The three of you were sitting on Ginny’s bed, the weird sisters playing in the background. “He made me change my mind” you said with a small smile. Ginny leaned her arm against yours. “You should date one of my brothers that would also make you my sister, ‘Mione” Ginny chuckled. Hermione’s cheeks turned red. “Oh stop it Ginny” Hermione said. You laugh at the two of them. 

The three of you didn’t sleep till late, you still weren’t really asleep when you heard a sound in the hallway. Then George stepped inside the bedroom, you wouldn’t have known it was him if he didn’t say it was him. “Come with me” he whispered.  You get up from your bed, and follow him. He led you to his bedroom where George was snoring. “ George, I can't stay here.  I should go to my bed.” You whisper to him. “I’ll turn on the alarm, and you can sneak back into your bed.” He said, he patted on the spot next to him in the bed. You hesitated. Fred did snore loudly. You lie down next to him. “So how are you feeling?” he asked. “stop asking me that all the time.” you chuckle. You stare at the ceiling. “Will you tell me why you feel this way?” he asked. He snuggled his nose close to the crook of your neck. “I just do, Georgie.” you whisper. “I can’t help it.” you whisper. You were glad he didn’t try to wrap his arms around you too. “I won’t call you my girlfriend anymore. I’ll call you my own personal idiot.” he whispered. You chuckle a little.

Tagged: @enchantedcruelsummer

[thundersnowstorm]

Anonymous asked: I loved your RobbxRhaenys fic! How do you think the pairing would work if Rhaegar had won? Is he a ward like Theon, is she a bastard? Do they hate each other?

(posted as a regular text post bc tumblr fucked up and i lost the original ask)

ahh nonny thank you so much!!

i actually have a whole rhaegar wins au planned out in my head (maybe i’ll write some of it at some point, first i gotta finish the crownless fic follow-up oneshot). but here’s a general run down of how robb x rhaenys might play out in this world.

under the cut since this turned out wayy longer than expected

basic premise: rhaegar kills robert at the trident and wins the war. meanwhile in king’s landing, jaime still kills aerys when his madness gets too much, or when he reveals the caches of wildfire. tywin stays carefully neutral throughout the war. upon returning to the city, rhaegar is crowned king. lyanna still dies in childbirth.

rhaenys and aegon are legitimate. show canon and i do not get along lmao. jon, the semi-acknowledged bastard of the king, is taken to winterfell to be raised because elia is not risking another blackfyre rebellion, and ned wants lyanna’s kid to be raised in her home. rhaegar is just guilt-striken enough over lyanna’s death to allow it. 

jon visits king’s landing on occasion as he gets older. he and rhaegar have a weird relationship (there’s a lot of angst there, a lot of unresolved issues). jon and aegon do get along though, which everyone is secretly relieved about. it takes rhaenys longer to warm up to jon. she remembers the rebellion, she remembers how hurt her mother was when rhaegar dropped everything for lyanna. rhaenys has never quite forgiven rhaegar. eventually, with encouragement from aegon, she strikes up a tentative friendship with jon.

with lyanna, brandon and rickard dead, house stark has suffered enough and rhaegar lets them go without asking them for much more. however, robb is asked (ordered) to visit king’s landing when he gets older. everyone has suddenly realized that house stark is a much bigger power than previously thought, and it’s a good idea for the iron throne to stay on good terms with the future warden of the north.

(by contrast, jon arryn is sent to the wall at the end of the rebellion. he didn’t have the advantage of being related to the new king’s dead lover to save him. the vale is passed down to harry hardying with one of the lords acting as regent. in the stormlands, stannis bends the knee and becomes lord. he marries cersei and it is the single most entertaining marriage in westeros.)

still, despite all the work queen elia and jon connington and the rest of the small council put into repairing relations with the north, they remain very frosty. ned certainly never forgives rhaegar. he’s not about to go to war again, but he’s also never going to step foot in king’s landing again. robb grows up with a distinctly antagonistic view of the iron throne, and the belief that it’s better for the north to keep to itself and stay out of politics of the realm. still, his childhood is more or less the same as it was in canon.

rhaenys is a force to be reckoned with at court. she grew up at her mother’s elbow, learning the nuts and bolts of ruling, how everything happens behind the scenes. oberyn taught her how to fight with a dagger (same as in crownless), as well as a few tricks to suss out people’s secrets. when she visits dorne, she watches doran, compares his style of ruling to her mother’s, to her father’s. if westeros had absolute primogeniture, rhaenys would make a formidable queen. as it is, she is aegon’s number one pick for hand for when he eventually takes the throne, scandal be damned.

her circle of friends is certainly an interesting mix. myrcella baratheon (a bit older and an actual baratheon this time) and margaery tyrell are conventional ladies in waiting, but they’re also both vying for aegon’s hand. meanwhile the sand snakes are the terror of the court and oberyn thinks it’s hilarious. rhaenys thinks tyene should stop pretending to poison mace tyrell. when arianne visits - well, things can get interesting. no one can quite tell if tyrion lannister and princess rhaenys hate each other or not, but their debates are certainly fun to watch. 

(hmm, maybe theon also ends up in king’s landing. robert trusted ned to watch over him in winterfell but rhaegar and ned have a very different relationship. idk where i’m going with this train of thought, but it would certainly add a new dynamic to rhaenys’s little court.)

rhaenys is not betrothed. it’s unusual, and people have started to comment on it. she is one and twenty and the most eligible woman in the land. there’s quite a bit of interest for her hand, but elia has decided that rhaenys will have a say in her marriage, and rhaegar oscillates between not caring much about the matter and toying with the idea of marrying her to aegon, in the old tradition. rhaenys has told him that if he even tries to marry them, she will elope with the first man she can find and wouldn’t that be quite the scandal? so rhaenys remains unmarried.

(the biggest difference in rhaenys here from rhaenys in the crownless fic is that here, rhaenys knows power. not only was she born into power but she has grown into it as well. she will do her duty to her family and the realm, but she will not sacrifice her own happiness unless there is no other choice. as practical as she is, marriage alliances are off the table.)

this is a lot of setup to get to robb and rhaenys making out but bear with me lol.

robb goes to king’s landing shortly after turning eighteen upon request (summons) from the throne, accompanied by catelyn, sansa, and arya. it’s skirting on rude for ned not to come, but rhaegar lets it slide. he’s lyanna’s brother, and there’s a lot that rhaegar feels guilty about concerning lyanna. anyway, it’s robb’s second time in king’s landing, but the first time he’d been fourteen and rhaenys had hardly noticed him. now though, there’s a bit of “oh shit he’s hot now” before robb makes it clear he’s only here out of obligation. then rhaenys decides that there’s no reason for the two of them to interact and that is that.

(or is it, asks the author in a leading tone.)

so really, there’s no reason for robb and rhaenys to speak to each other. rhaenys is busy with a discrepancy in taxes coming from the vale, and robb is busy trying to avoid southroners at all costs. but circumstances bring them together somehow. maybe there’s a conspiracy afoot, and they have to work together to stop it. maybe rhaenys is forced to show robb around the keep. or maybe rhaenys finds the quiet of the godswood peaceful and robb keeps coming across her there.

“this isn’t a real godswood. not without a proper weirwood heart tree, like the ones in the north.” “mayhaps you can show me a proper godswood someday, my lord.”

really, they have nothing in common, there’s nothing they should have to talk about, but rhaenys finds robb’s frank honesty refreshing after all the double talk at court, and robb thinks she’s probably the cleverest woman he knows. somewhere along the line they become each other’s refuge from all the politics and mistrust of king’s landing.

there’s a feast one day, celebrating some important occasion or whatnot. and there’s dancing and mead, and rhaenys can’t remember the last time she had this much fun. she and robb slip away into the gardens to cool off in the night air and well. rhaenys will blame it on a few too many cups of dornish red but robb’s lips fit perfectly against hers and he tastes like cinammon.

robb panics. this is the princess he is kissing, daughter of the king who brought so much pain upon his family. gods this is jon’s sister, and robb’s father always told him to behave honorably towards women and the thoughts he’s having are certainly not honorable. so robb runs.

rhaenys is furious. well, really she’s embarrassed but anger is easier. for the next week or so she is a nightmare to be around. not that she’d admit to anyone that she’s in a bad mood. meanwhile, robb is moping and hiding from everyone and probably spending most of his time sparring.

jon, who isn’t blind and is absolutely done with them, practically forces robb to talk to rhaenys. he doesn’t care what happened, he just wants the two of them to get over themselves and stop being so insufferable. also rhaenys made one of the goldcloaks cry and no one quite knows how that happened.

so they talk. and robb apologizes for kissing her, which rhaenys is quick to tell him is absolutely ridiculous, she’s the one who initiated it and besides, it was just a kiss.

well, that one kiss turns into quite a few more.

there aren’t really words for what they are to each other. if she were anyone else, robb would probably ask for her hand, but she’s the princess of the realm, not some petty lord’s daughter. and rhaenys doesn’t want to think about putting a label on them, because that would mean thinking about how the two of them fit in the future. and since they aren’t betrothed and king’s landing isn’t dorne, no one can know about their…. whatever.

then rhaegar starts bringing up the subject of rhaenys’s betrothal again. aegon isn’t on the table, since he and margaery tyrell are all but promised to each other at last, but perhaps willas tyrell would do, or maybe harry hardyng in the vale. lady paramount is a perfectly acceptable role for the sister to the future king.

(robb isn’t mentioned as an option. he might be of the right status, but relations between ned and rhaegar are still quite frosty, and the realm still doesn’t quite see the north as equal to the southern kingdoms.)

rhaenys knows, intellectually, that she must marry someday. and really, willas tyrell and harry hardyng are just suggestions. she could always look for a second son for a husband, so she could stay in king’s landing. but she doesn’t want to marry a stranger, and she doesn’t want to leave the city, and the only person she can think of is her cousin quentyn, and arianne would kill her if she married quent.

robb learns about the discussions for rhaenys’s hand from rumors floating around the court. and really, he shouldn’t care who rhaenys marries, it’s not like they’re anything more than good friends who kiss sometimes. or at least, that’s what he tries to tell himself.

he’s not very good at convincing himself.

“marry me,” robb blurts out. rhaenys stops dead in her tracks. “what?”

rhaenys says no. winterfell is about as far as it gets from king’s landing, and she does not wish to be sent away to a frozen wasteland where she knows close to nobody. there is so much she can do at court, so much change she could help affect, and she cannot do that in the north.  

she explains this all to robb and he shrugs. “we could stay in the south.”

rhaenys is not often surprised. this makes it twice today that she has been struck speechless.

robb does not like court, as she is quick to remind him.

“no, but i like you.”

they talk late into the night. the sun is starting to peek out behind the treeline when rhaenys says yes.

(the issue was not that she did not wish to marry robb. quite the opposite. but if she is to be a part of the politics of realm, she cannot do so effectively in winterfell all the time. so they talk, and debate, and eventually a plan is drawn up for where they will reside.)

of course, this is all dependent on rhaegar and ned accepting. robb’s time in king’s landing is drawing to a close, and so he returns to winterfell to ask for his father’s permission. rhaenys goes to talk to rhaegar and elia.

rhaegar is surprised, to say the least. elia, who has been quietly watching her daughter’s flirtation-turned-courtship for the past months, is not. in the end, the discussion is rather short. robb stark is heir to one of the great houses, and the iron throne desperately needs better relations with the north. there’s little to oppose.

ned, on the other hand, is more reluctant to bind the starks to the royal family so officially. he loves his nephew dearly, but he cannot forget the circumstances under which jon was born. but robb seems to care for this southron princess, and catelyn is right, they cannot try to stay out of southron politics forever.

robb and rhaenys are married in the godswood at riverrun, halfway between their families’ castles. for the wedding of a royal princess and the heir to the north, it’s a surprisingly lowkey affair. but robb hardly notices much other than rhaenys, resplendent in dornish silks, and rhaenys for once lets herself forget about the politics and the future, and just lets robb lead her around in a sloppy rendition of the bear and the maiden fair.

(robb is not a great dancer, but he is definitely an enthusiastic one. rhaenys thinks it’s charming.)

it isn’t easy all the time. splitting time between winterfell and king’s landing means endless amounts of travelling, and they aren’t always in the same kingdom together. there are fights, and long nights working, and sometimes the politics at court get to be too much for both of them, but for all their differences, robb and rhaenys love each other. and maybe that’s all that’s needed.

god this got long, and this is really only a sketch of what that scenario would look like. maybe i’ll write a proper fic for this universe sometime, we’ll see.

thanks again anon!

[ghostwise]

a shipwreck off llomerryn

He becomes aware of his presence the same way one might notice a change in temperature, or the first drop of a rainstorm. There, in the corner of his eye, in the backdrop.

Denerim is a large city, but Zevran is certain Taliesen has not been trailing them for long. He is also certain that Taliesen is not foolish enough to force a public confrontation. Still, he cannot linger by the market stalls, avoiding him forever, and as he tries to act natural around the others, Zevran feels a growing apprehension.

This is something he has to deal with alone. So, with a hastily made up excuse, he steps away from the group and lets his feet guide him at a harried pace, half-thinking, looking for somewhere secluded.

He finds a little alley, lined in dirt, the sort that is never quite in full sunlight, with shuttered doors and empty windows, and it is here that Taliesen finally approaches him.

Zevran tried to prepare himself for this, but he still finds himself shaken at the sight of him.

Taliesen has changed little since he last saw him; he is still scruffy, tall, dark haired. Perhaps the bags under his eyes are new, but he still has the same smile, lopsided, lifting the corners of his mouth, as if he is happy to see him. As if he missed him.

“Can it be? Is that him? It is! The great Zevran Arainai, in the flesh,” Taliesen jokes, and that is the same, too.

“Taliesen,” Zevran says. “Tell me, were you sent after me? Or did you volunteer?”

“So quick to the chase! Is this how you greet an old friend?”

“Nothing friendly is going to happen today, I assure you.”

Hearing that, Taliesen’s smile falters, and for a moment he looks almost confused. “Well,” he says finally. “I suppose I cannot blame you for being upset. To answer your question: I volunteered. I came all the way here to this backwater country, for you, darling.”

“Do not call me that.”

Taliesen looks away, laughing softly, a sound that quickly tapers into silence.

“We all thought you were dead, Zevran. Imagine my surprise when I heard that you were very much alive. That you’d gone rogue. You abandoned us-”

“If that is what you are here for, I will stop you there. I am not coming back.”

“Zevran,” Taliesen looks at him imploringly. “I understand why you did this. I know how you feel, and I do not blame you.” He steps closer, holding his arms out, trying again to smile. “Come back with me. We’ll make up a story. I’ll cover for you. What do you say?”

Zevran remains stock still. He does not move away, but simply stands there, glaring.

“Anyone can make a mistake,” Taliesen says.

“I made the greatest mistake of my life already. I will not repeat it,” Zevran assures him.

“Ah… you mean, trusting me?”

He at least has the decency to look upset. Taliesen sighs and slumps against the wall behind him, looking at the ground. An uneasy silence falls around them. He looks so lost. Zevran is not buying the act.

When he speaks again, he sounds uncharacteristically meek.

“You know, I've been alone,” Taliesen says slowly. “For the first time since the wreck... I've been alone.”

Zevran can barely look at him.

His mind flashes back to the terrified young boy Taliesen once was, freshly plucked off the coast of Llomerryn after his family perished in a shipwreck. How a young Zevran and a young Taliesen had banded together, and pulled through the trials—call it what it is: torture—of becoming a Crow.

His mind is at odds with the hateful tenderness that rises up in him, and the grief and anger and hurt of all that has happened. The strength of the feeling shocks him, and he has to restrain himself from his urge to sock Taliesen in the face, hard enough to break something.

Zevran takes a deep breath, but he still cannot look at him as he grits out, “You should have thought of that before you slit her throat.”

“You were as much a part of it as I was,” Taliesen shoots back. “You were complicit. You watched me do it. You spat on her as she bled out on the mattress.” Then Taliesen's voice softens, and he is back to the gentle and cajoling man who once could convince him of anything. “Zevran, por favor. Let us not fight. I only want to talk, yes?”

If there is a Hell, they are both going there, Zevran thinks.

Suddenly, Leliana comes up behind him, jovial and laughing, breaking the spell.

“Oh, there you are! We were looking for you.”

Both Zevran and Taliesen look to her as she joins Zevran at his side. Hamal is with her, smiling easily. Zevran closes his eyes, willing this not to happen, even as it unfolds.

“… Who is your friend?” Leliana asks.

The dynamic has shifted instantly. Taliesen slips out of the informal mask he'd approached Zevran with. No longer familiar and intimate, he steps back, smiling. His posture is alert, his eyes, dashing back and forth between Hamal and Leliana.

“The Maker must have guided me today,” Taliesen says. “The Grey Warden himself, here, at long last!”

Hamal raises an eyebrow, looking Taliesen up and down. “You’ve heard of me,” he notes. “But that’s hardly anything special. Who are you, exactly?”

“Oh, I’m nobody!” Taliesen laughs, looking at Zevran. “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised to find you keep such company, Zev. You do know you don’t have to sleep with all your marks, right?”

His anger flares up against his better judgment, words coming out in a rush. “Maldito desgraciado-”

He hates that Taliesen can still get to him like this. It is better not to react at all to his taunts, but to be frank, the fact that he has not attacked him already shows remarkable restraint.

Meanwhile, if the Warden is surprised or offended, he is not showing it. In fact, for a long moment, he is uncharacteristically quiet. He moves forward, looking directly at Taliesen.

“I don’t give a shit who you are, actually. I’ll enlighten you, shem,” he states evenly. “You will turn around, and you will leave. We will not see you again, or hear from you. A very generous offer, considering the disrespect you’ve shown my friend.”

“You should know that Antivan Crows are hard to intimidate,” Taliesen chuckles.

“Is it intimidation, or is it sense? I know who you are. It does not change a thing.”

“Oh I can see why you like him,” Talieisin says to Zevran, smiling. “He’s plucky. Not for long, though.”

The threat is enough to kick Zevran into motion, as his priorities shift from restraining his anger, to protecting the Warden. “You are mistaken, Taliesen. I am not going with you, and I am not letting you do a damn thing to him.”

“Sooo dramatic!” Taliesen laughs, incredulous. “You’ve really gone soft.”

But that is where he is wrong. Zevran feels, again, that urge to break Taliesen’s face using only his hands, to silence that laughter with just his fists. He was soft when he let Taliesen kill Rinna, someone he cared about. He was soft when he let himself be manipulated and molded to the whims of the Crows, a group that never had his or Rinna’s or even Taliesen’s best interests in mind.

He was soft when he loved them, both of them, in their own way. Stunted, like a bird with clipped wings, but caring enough to believe that somehow, they would stay together through anything.

Soft, naïve, stupid Zevran.

He is not soft now.

“You should have stayed in Antiva,” he says, dead serious, cold, like steel.

They act in concert. Taliesen signals for the others of his group to leap in—of course he wasn’t alone, Crows travel in flocks—and Hamal already has his bow in hand, felling two of their number before the fight starts proper. Leliana does not hold back in her advance, appearing beside Taliesen swift as a shadow, striking—but he is just as fast, dodges, reels back, shifts his momentum and launches at her.

Zevran intervenes, his blades countering each blow aimed at Leliana and Hamal. He will not allow his friends to come to harm because of what he has done.

But they are dreadfully outnumbered as well.

“Take out the archer!” One of Taliesen’s men shouts, and it is almost laughably familiar. It is exactly what Zevran had said, when he’d first set eyes on Hamal Mahariel, watching him fire arrows with almost supernatural speed.

There is no time to have an emotional response to this. Zevran flings a dagger in the direction of that voice, hears a responding grunt of pain, and moves on to the next target.

Hampered by the close quarters in the alley, the Warden struggles to dodge an onslaught of attacks. Someone launches a volley of arrows at him. Hamal catches one and fires it back, but another buries itself in his left shoulder. He wrenches it out, furious, draws and aims it at Taliesen with a muffled Dalish curse.

It finds its target with a thump, but Taliesen barely winces. He is far too focused on bringing Zevran down, and the fight winds on around them, the Crows’ numbers dwindling.

Surely Taliesen can see the numbers turning against him. The Grey Wardens are not regarded as fearsome for nothing, and Leliana is a great benefit to them, fighting like a woman possessed.

Unexpectedly, Taliesen ducks and sweeps a leg under Zevran, attempting to knock him down. It does not work, but it gives Taliesen the fraction of a second he needed to turn and take on the Warden.

Hamal readies an arrow just as Taliesen plunges his short sword, and both weapons find their targets. Swords are much larger than arrows, though.

The Warden reels back, bloodied. Leliana is at his side instantly, but the battle ends as abruptly as it began. Zevran knocks Taliesen back, finally throwing that punch he has been waiting for, his knuckles connecting squarely under his jawbone.

He collapses, stunned, and Zevran pins him down, straddling him, his hands a vice around his neck.

“Zevran,” Taliesen chokes out. He tries to draw air, but is unable to, his head already swimming. “Por favor... Zevran.”

“No,” Zevran says through gritted teeth. “Vete al puto infierno. Ve, y suplicale a Rinna cuando llegues.”

Young, seafaring Taliesen dies in a filthy alley in Denerim, staring into a pair of hateful eyes. Zevran crushes his windpipe and watches the light leave him.

Dimly, he is aware of someone talking to him. When the sound finally breaks through whatever barrier exists between him and the rest of the world, he looks up and sees Leliana, bleeding from a cut above her eye, shouting.

“Zevran. Zevran!”

Zevran looks at her, and releases his grip on Taliesen’s throat. Bodies slump lifelessly in the streets, and there’s blood on the ground around them: hers, Hamal’s, Taliesen’s, but Zevran himself has sustained barely a scratch, and it’s not fair.

“Zevran!” Leliana tries again. “Go get Wynne!”

A breath rakes through Zevran’s body, suddenly jolting him fully back. He stumbles to his feet, looks at the unconscious Warden. Leliana is holding pressure onto his largest wound. Most of the blood seems to be his. Leliana looks desperate.

“Hurry!”

Zevran turns and runs.

If there is a Hell, he is in it. He is burning, as he goes.

[headcanonsandmore]

Romione: a seven-year retrospective

I thought I’d do a retrospective of Ron and Hermione throughout each of the book series, and to chart how their relationship dynamic was changing. Warning- this is a very long post. 

First year-

Ron and Hermione meet on the Hogwarts Express at the start of first year. They don’t really get along, as their personalities and attitudes are so different. This isn’t improved by the fact that Hermione can be a bit of a know-it-all and Ron has a habit of slacking off his studies if he gets bored.

They don’t really become friends until after the Troll incident at Halloween. Their relationship improves a lot after this, although they still bicker a lot. By the end of the year, they clearly value each-other a lot, because Ron sacrifices himself for her and Harry in McGonagall’s giant chess-game; and Hermione is terrified for him when he gets knocked out cold.

 Second Year-

Ron and Hermione write to each other most of the summer, and meet up in Diagon Alley. They are clearly firm friends by this point, and care about each other. Ron ends up vomiting up slugs when he gets angry at Draco Malfoy for calling Hermione the ‘m-b’ word.

On a side note, Ron is visibly annoyed by Hermione’s obvious crush on Gilderoy Lockhart (accusations that Hermione always avoided responding to), and is rather affronted when he suspects that Hermione was one of the forty-six people who send Lockhart a valentine’s card (when he asks her this, she becomes very interested in searching her bag for her timetable and doesn’t answer)

Ron is also really upset when Hermione is petrified by the Basilisk (possibly even more than Harry was), and is determined to solve the mystery of the chamber of secrets. When Dumbledore mentions that the mandrake potion was ready to be administered, Ron’s first thought was that Hermione would be okay.

In the film adaptation, there is a bit where Harry and Hermione happily hug at the end after she gets unpetrified (because they see each-other like brother and sister rather than anything else), but Ron and Hermione instead shake hands, after Ron gets all awkward. His later line that ‘they couldn’t have done it without her’ has an obvious ‘I probably fancy her’ feeling to it. It’s adorable to watch, and it was a nice addition of the films. This is before the films went full on Harmony (Harry x Hermione) shipping.

 Third Year-

Ron and Hermione again talk to each other throughout the summer, and meet up in Diagon Alley. This is a bit of fractured year in terms of their friendship. They bicker a lot more than the previous year, and end up not talking to each-other over the ‘Crookshanks and Scabbers’ debacle. Harry stops speaking to Hermione as well, but the main fracture seems to be between Ron and Hermione. When they eventually do reconcile, Hermione bursts into tears and hugs Ron tightly. Ron is slightly terrified and is relieved when she lets go.  

In the spaces in-between their bickering, though, they actually spend a lot of time together. Because Harry couldn’t get his Hogsmeade visit permission form signed by Uncle Vernon, Ron and Hermione spent their first few visits in Hogsmeade as a duo. We only find out what they got up to when they tell Harry, but it does bare repeating that they do spent a lot of time without Harry around in their third year.

Ron also defends Hermione from Snape when he called her ‘an insufferable know-it-all’. But the movies lovingly replaced that with Ron pointing out that ‘he’s right you know’. Curse you, Steve Kloves…

 Fourth Year-

This is the year where things really start to get complicated between Ron and Hermione. At the start of the year, there isn’t much of a change- they talk over the holidays, and Hermione stays over at Ron’s house before they all go to the Quidditch World Cup.

This is also when the gender difference between the two starts to come into effect. Ron (and Harry) are both briefly put under the spell of the Veela, which Hermione is not very impressed by. She also gets irritated when Ron gets caught up again by a Veela later on, and Ron has to be pulled away by her and Harry. During this part of the series, Hermione’s unofficial catchphrases become ‘boys’ and ‘honestly’.

Hermione gets very rattled when Ron gets momentarily dumbstruck by Fleur Delacour. She also isn’t very impressed by his and Harry’s brief conversation about girls in which Ron muttered the unintentionally hurtful phrase ‘they don’t make them like that at Hogwarts’, which is a) quite sexist b) rude to Hermione and c) means that Ron doesn’t really see Hermione as a girl at this point.

Hermione gets very upset by Ron’s attitude in the run-up to the Yule Ball and his wanting to go with a girl for no other reason except her appearance. Ron does finally realise that Ron is a girl, which she isn’t very impressed by, as Viktor Krum had already asked her to the Yule Ball at this point. Her remark that ‘just because it’s taken you three years to notice, Ron, doesn’t mean no one else has spotted I’m a girl!’ displays Hermione’s hurt feelings and confusion over her relationship to Ron.

Hermione goes to the Yule Ball with Krum, and Ron goes with Padma Patil. Hermione has more-or-less a nice time throughout most of the ball, but Ron spends most of the Ball glaring over at Hermione and Krum. He doesn’t ask Padma Patil to dance at all, and she soon leaves to dance with someone else.

Hermione and Ron then have a falling out towards the end of the Ball over Hermione going with Krum. They also have a shouting match later in the Gryffindor Common Room, ending with Hermione yelling at Ron that ‘next time there’s a ball, ask me before someone else does, and not as a last resort!’ and then leaving for her dormitory. Ron is visibly shocked by this. The next morning, the two are very cordial to each other- something that has caused many Potterheads to wonder whether the two of them had another talk sometime after their shouting match. I’m on-the-fence about the idea, but I can understand that it is a bit odd that they would suddenly become cordial with each-other after an extensive argument the previous night.

At the end of the second Tri-Wizard Task, Ron is kissed on the cheek by Fleur Delacour as thanks for helping rescue her sister (Ron conveniently forgetting to mention to her that he was unconscious during the entire rescue). Harry then informs us that Hermione looked furious at this, implying that (read ‘stating the obvious’) she feels jealousy when Ron is kissed by another girl.

Later on, Rita Skeeter publishes an article that implies that Harry and Hermione are dating (Hermione having mixed love potions), and that Viktor Krum asked Hermione to visit him over the summer. Ron seems very concerned as to whether she had in fact mixed love potions, and then gets very visibly freaked out when he finds out that Viktor Krum had asked Hermione to visit him. Ron drops what he is holding when he hears this, and can’t concentrate on anything else. Hermione can’t meet Ron’s eyes when she’s telling him and Harry this, and goes very red.

At the end of the year, before she leaves Hogwarts, Fleur Delacour smiles at Ron after he says that her English is very good. Hermione scowls when he does. Shortly afterwards, Krum asks Hermione if he can have a private chat with Hermione. Ron is visibly rattled by this, and tries to guess from Hermione’s facial expression as to what they were talking about. Hermione face is impassive, which implies that she declined Viktor Krum’s offer to visit him in the summer.

Fifth Year-

Hermione and Ron are on better terms this year than the previous year. Ron’s a little less immature, and their relationship was stabilised a bit.

Ron and Hermione spent most of the summer at Grimmauld Place decontaminating the house. Presumably they hung around each-other every day.

Ron gets very defiant when Hermione can’t quite believe that he was made prefect. She also turns red when she realises how obvious she is being with her confusion.

Ron and Hermione go to the prefects’ carriage on the Hogwarts Express and patrol the corridors together. We don’t find out much about what they get up to, aside from finding out who the other house prefects are.

All in all, not much progression, but this year does give us the ‘emotional range of a teaspoon’ quote, something that the fandom seems to have taken as a literal measurement of Ron’s emotional range, rather than a joke by Hermione.

Sixth year-

Ooh- here we go. This year was basically the year that Ron and Hermione got jealous over each other a lot.

Hermione gets visibly irritated by Ron’s continued dumbstruck nature towards Fleur Delacour. Having said that, Ron does worry over Hermione when she gets accidentally clobbered by Fred and George’s punching telescope.

Ron gets annoyed when Hermione praises Harry for telling Professor Slughorn that Hermione was the best in their year.

Before the Gryffindor Keeper Try-outs, Lavender smiles at Ron, who smiles back at her uncertainly. He then starts strutting. Hermione doesn’t like this, and walks off to the stands without wishing Ron good luck.

Ron gets suspicious when Harry and Hermione stop outside the main doors to argue about Hermione confounding Cormac McLaggen during the Quidditch try-outs.

Hermione gets very angry and goes very red when she points out that she was going to ask Ron to one of Professor Slughorns’ parties.  Ron is very surprised by this, and goes from sneering that she should ask McLaggen to instead saying that he wouldn’t want her to ‘get off with McLaggen’ in a very quiet voice. Ron is obviously very startled by this, and seems very pleased about this turn of events.

When Ron discovers from Ginny that Hermione had kissed Viktor Krum, he gets very angry and confused at her. Hermione is hurt and bewildered by this.

Hermione then believes that Harry had spiked Ron’s drink with Lucky Potion, resulting in his brilliant saves during a Quidditch match. When Harry later tells them that he only faked spiking the drink, Ron assumed that Hermione had no belief in his Quidditch skills, and walks off in a huff. Hermione gets upset and storms off to Gryffindor tower.

Later than evening, Ron publicly snogs Lavender Brown during the celebration party in Gryffindor tower. Hermione sees this, gets even more upset, and goes to an empty classroom to get away from everyone else. When Ron accidentally turns up in the classroom with Lavender in tow, Hermione sets a flock of birds on him and leaves the room sobbing.

Ron and Hermione virtually stop being friends at this point. Both of them are upset and confused about the other, and avoid speaking to each other. Ron spends most of his free time getting snogged by Lavender, something that physically upsets Hermione every time it happens.

Ron and Hermione are then rude about each other in lessons, resulting in Hermione crying in the girls’ toilets. Later, Hermione reveals that she is going to Professor Slughorns’ latest party with Cormac McLaggen, giving her reason as ‘she likes really good Quidditch players’. This is clearly her way of making Ron angry at her, and possibly slightly jealous. Ron goes strangely blank after she says this and doesn’t say anything.

Hermione later reveals to Harry during Professor Slughorns’ party that she chose McLaggen as her date because he would annoy Ron the most.

Before Harry and Ron left Hogwarts for the Burrow for the Christmas break, Lavender snogs Ron again whilst Harry is trying to explain something to Hermione. According to Harry, Hermione didn’t really listen to what he was saying.

On Christmas morning, when Ron asks Harry whether Hermione did go with McLaggen to Slughorns’ party, he is visibly more cheerful when Harry tells him that he didn’t think it went well.

After they get back from the break, Hermione ignores Ron completely and refers to him in a mocking version of the nickname that Lavender gave to him- ‘Won-won’.

This pretty much continues until Ron is accidentally poisoned by a potion intended for Dumbledore. Hermione is very upset over this, and terrified that Ron was seriously injured. Their relationship becomes a lot better after this point, and Ron shows signs that he doesn’t really want to date Lavender any more. Ron and Lavender have more of a strained relationship after he gets out of the hospital wing, and Hermione is visibly pleased by this.

Hermione helps Ron finish off his essay for Defence Against The Dark Arts, and Ron is very appreciative of this. He absentmindedly says ‘I love you, Hermione’, which makes Hermione go slightly pink. This is the key moment in the change in the relationship- they are no longer friends who like each other, but two friends who want to date the other but can’t due to various circumstances.

Ron also talks about watching to dump Lavender while he watches Hermione sorting out his essay. I see this as symbolic.

When Ron and Hermione follow Harry (who was under the invisibility cloak) out of the boys dormitory, Lavender gets angry and wants to know what Ron was doing up there with Hermione. Ron splutters a lot.

Ron and Lavender then break up. Ron and Hermione keep accidentally touching each-other during one of their classes next day, which reduces Lavender to tears. Both Ron and Hermione feel very guilty about this, although both of them have noticeably improved moods after this scene.

After Dumbledore’s funeral, Ron comforts Hermione, holds her and strokes her hair. Later, Hermione grabs Ron’s arm when he asks if she’ll let him hit Percy.

Hermione and Ron are virtually in a romantic relationship by this point. They aren’t technically a couple (they haven’t told anyone that we know of) but they act and feel like a couple

 (Artwork by Catching-smoke at deviantart.com)

Seventh year-

Ron points out that he’s using the ‘fail-safe ways to charm witches’ book that he got from Fred and George to get things going with Hermione. Later on, he compliments her on her wand-work, although for once, Hermione doesn’t really know why he’s doing it. Ron doesn’t answer her when she asks what he got Harry for his birthday, as Ron’s using the same book to attempt to woo her.

Ron comforts Hermione when Harry accidentally upsets her talking about Mad-Eye Moody and what happened to his body. Ron puts his arm around her, and gives her a handkerchief to blow her nose. He then puts his arm around her shortly later when Harry accidentally upsets Hermione again, and then reproaches Harry for this. (A very rare occasion in the books of Ron teaching other people tact)

Ron splutters when Hermione mentions that most of their packing is done, except for waiting for the rest of Ron’s underpants to come out of the wash.

Hermione and Ron fall asleep holding hands.

Hermione looks at Ron all tenderly when he’s worrying about the fate of the Cattermole family, so tenderly that it looks like she was about to kiss Ron. Harry has to remind her that he’s in the room.

Ron leaves Harry and Hermione after the Horcrux exacerbated his already dower mood. He thought that, when Hermione chose to stay to help Harry find the Horcruxes, she was choosing Harry over Ron.  

Hermione is distraught when Ron leaves. She barely talks to Harry. She spends the first night after Ron leaves crying in her bunk and unable to sleep. When her and Harry disapparate from the place where Ron left them, she breaks down sobbing and can’t muster the energy to perform the protective barriers around them, which Harry does instead.

Harry clarifies with Ron that he sees Hermione like a sister. He also points out that him and Hermione barely talked when Ron was gone. Ron finally conquers his inferiority complex by destroying the Horcrux, as well as his feelings of inadequacy around Hermione.  

Hermione is incredibly angry at Ron when he returns, yelling at him that she begged him to come back, and that they could have been dead for all he knew.

Ron says that he regretted leaving the moment he disapparated. When he mentions hearing Hermione say his name through the Deluminator, Hermione turns bright red.  

It takes a while for Ron and Hermione to get along after this. Hermione doesn’t do much except scowl and make angry comments whenever Ron is about. Harry points out that, when the three of them were grouped together, he feels like the only non-mourner at a poorly-attended funeral.

Ron votes to visit Xenophilius Lovegood partially to get back into Hermione’s good books. When Harry asks him about this, Ron says that ‘it’s all fair in love and war, and this is a bit of both’.

Hermione covers Ron with the invisibility cloak during their escape from the death eaters at the Lovegoods’ house. She was worried that Ron’s family would be targeted by the death eaters if they realised Ron was on the run with Harry.

When they captured by snatchers and taken to Malfoy Manor, Ron yells that he should be kept and tortured instead of Hermione. He had previously tried to stop the snatchers from hurting Hermione, and had been hit in the face for his troubles.

During Harry and Ron’s time in the cellar of Malfoy Manor, they could both hear Hermione’s screaming as she was being tortured. Ron began yelling Hermione’s name, unable to think, shaking, sobbing, and being petrified that she would die, even going so far as to pound the walls with his fists. After his chains were cut by Luna, Ron tried to disapparate out of the cellar without a wand, showing how terrified he was for Hermione.

When Bellatrix Lestrange told Fenrir Greyback (the werewolf) that he could take Hermione as a victim, Ron bellowed and burst into the room where Hermione was being tortured, and disarmed Bellatrix.

When the chandelier fell on top of Hermione, Ron leapt forward and pulled her out of the rubble whilst Harry dealt with the death eaters.

Ron disapparates to Shell Cottage, and makes sure Hermione is safe and healthy before he goes outside to help Harry dig Dobby’s grave. When Hermione wobbles outside later, Ron puts an arm around her and supports her.

When Harry points out that the death eaters will know that Harry’s wand is broken by checking Hermione’s wand that they left at Malfoy Manor, the colour that had come back into Hermione’s face since she tortured drains away. Ron reproaches Harry for it.

During the battle of Hogwarts, Ron points out that they need to get the house-elves of Hogwarts to safety, as they shouldn’t order them to die for them. This is the tipping point for Hermione, who throws herself at Ron and kisses him full on the mouth. Ron responds with such enthusiasm that he lifts her off her feet. It is often considered the moment that they became a romantic couple rather than just two friends in love with each other.

This was the year that Ron and Hermione finally moved past being ‘friends who like each other’ to becoming a fully-fledged couple. It was a long journey, filled by jealousy, confusion and a lot of awkwardness, but they got there in the end.

(Artwork by Mudblood428 at deviantart.com)

Thanks for reading this very long post and I hope that you’ve enjoyed reading it. This is probably my biggest analysis of Romione yet. Just wanted to share all the moments that I love about these two amazing people and the lovely couple they make! 

[hellsangelsheavensrejects]

Present Day: Showdown in the Parking Lot

Blythe

"Wow, so not only do YOU stick around Wynonna, you're now also cool with having JOHN CONSTANTINE around? You know what that man does? He gets people killed. The fuck is it with you and that asshole anyway?"

Harry

“Oh, hey! You know what? I’ve been waiting around all day for some rando too cowardly to show their face to drop by and give unsolicited opinions on me and the people I choose to spend my time with. Congratulations, you’ve won the Dipshit Award!”

Blythe

“Gee, that's some epic level avoidance there. You should get a medal for that. Also, I'd pester Constantine, but he's got my number ... or more precisely my name. And he's a lot better with wards than you are. So, what is all this? Are you trying to get that girl of yours killed?“

Harry

“Do you really like playing pinata with a hornet’s nest so much, or are you just that stupid?” Every hair on Harry’s body was stood on end as he pivoted on his heels in the darkened parking lot, staff at the ready, searching for the source of the sinister voice. He didn’t like this one bit; whoever or whatever it was, it clearly had some personal agenda– or vendetta– it was attempting to fulfill. And if it was strong enough to get past the wards on his apartment, like it was hinting at…

He gave an exaggerated roll of his eyes. “This creeptastic voice throwing thing is getting old. How about you come out where I can see you? Then we can duke it out like mature adults and call it a night.”

Blythe

"Now, now, wizard. I was just trying to give you a friendly warning, is all.", the shadows between two of the trees lining the parking lot seem to solidify into a tall figure with a pale face. They cluck their tongue. "But really, what IS it with you and Constantine? I mean, beyond you clearly wanting to get in his pants. Don't worry, I get it."

Harry

“You and I must have vastly different definitions of the word ‘friendly,’“ Harry remarked. He narrowed his eyes as he watched the figure fade into view, and readied himself, reaching down into that deep well of anger, pain, heartbreak, and love to find his power.

“See, to me, ‘friendly’ is hanging out, getting a few beers, shooting the bull. This whole menacing stalker vibe you’ve got going on over there? Not really all that friendly.”

Blythe

The figure that steps from the shadows is tall and thin, unnaturally so. A long feathered boa around their shoulders only highlights their skeletal body. Their face is as pale as the moon above and they gift the wizard with a grin full of sharp teeth. Right underneath an array of six red, glittering eyes. "You really are good at avoiding answering questions. Deal with the Fae lot quite a bit, do you?"

Harry

Harry kept his eyes locked on the creature, sizing them up. A demon of some sort, probably– especially considering what he knew of John. Whoever and whatever this creature was, they very clearly had a history with Constantine, and probably had in mind a little payback.

He wasn’t going to make it easy for them.

A grin peeled his lips back, baring his teeth. “I deal with a lot of interesting folks. Always walked away from it; can’t always say the same about them, though. How about you, Skellington? Gonna keep pressing your luck?”

Blythe

The stranger came sauntering over and when they finally stepped into the full light of one of the few still functioning lights illuminating the parking lot, it became clear that the dull clack-clack-clack of their step did not come from heels, but from hooves. "That would be boring, though, wouldn't it? Ending it right here? Not when it could be SO beautifully painful for you. Or for little Johnny ConJob."

Harry

In all his years of wizarding, Harry had learned that there is always a moment of crystal clarity, an epiphany that lights up the mind and makes all the little details fall into place. It clarifies the plans of the bad guys, provides a blueprint for a counterattack, and, most unsettlingly, sheds light on his own choices, feelings, and proclivities.

This demon had seen something between Harry and John that Harry had not yet had the courage to name.

“My Id is probably yukking it up right now,” he muttered, then arched an eyebrow at the creature, bringing his staff to bear and readying his will. “You want pain, huh? Well, hey, if you insist. Have a blast with it. Fuego!”

Blythe

The fire lit up the demon, and for a moment it seemed to distort them. The feather boa turned into terrible wings and those already long, thin limbs grew longer and thinner. Hands elongating into razorsharp claws. And then the demon was gone. The magical fire the wizard had unleashed missed it's mark and rushed off into the darkness. There was silence and then, right behind Dresden: "Not fast enough. Tell John hello from Blythe." and then, those claws embedded themselves into the wizard's back.

Harry

The demon… changed… before his eyes, and then vanished. Harry spun, leading with his staff, trying to pinpoint his enemy before it could reappear and get the jump on him.

Which was exactly what it did.

As the razor-sharp claws tore deep into his skin, his one thought, accentuated by a furious, agonized scream, was that he desperately wished he’d gone for the extra protection of his spell-reinforced coat before leaving this evening, but the balmy summer temperatures had dissuaded him of the notion.

Lips peeling back into a snarl, he took his staff in both hands and slammed it into the ground hard enough to break a hole in the pavement, then with a shouted word sent a burst of force lashing through the staff and into the ground, enough to– he hoped– knock them both off their feet and give him a chance to wrench free.

Blythe

The demon Blythe laughed, dodging the blow of the staff with supernatural ease. They seemed to have been caught off guard, however, when a wave of energy expanded from the impact of said staff and threw them backwards. Snarling, Blythe caught themselves on all four, three pairs of eyes blazing with hellish fire. "I will eat your soul in front of Constantine!", they threatened and threw themselves back at Dresden.

Harry

Cold fury erupted through him at the demon’s next mention of Constantine, and the pain of his wounds melted away into so much background noise. It had occurred to him before that he knew precious little about the man’s past. About the demons– both figurative and, apparently, literal– that haunted him. He hadn’t pressed for details, and had volunteered precious few of his own.

But this creature, whatever its history with John, clearly had one hell of a hard-on for hurting him. And that…

That was not okay.

Not even a little bit.

(He tried not to think about what that might mean)

(It meant Constantine was his, and he’d be damned if he’d let this demonic stick bug harm him in any way)

As the demon hurled itself at Harry, he swung his staff to bear again and snarled, “Here, have an appetizer on me. Infriga!” A roar of wind kicked up, punctuated by a flash of glittering light, and the air rippled and cracked with a broad swathe of mist-shrouded frost.

Blythe

Pain in the air, the taste of blood and Blythe could feel their gut twist with pleasure.

Oh, they knew that anger.

Their sources were correct, then. John Constantine had gotten himself entangled with this … Dresden character.

And what a character he was. Half of Fairy was having a hardon for the man and Hell? Oh, Hell was just jonesing for his soul.

Blythe, however? Blythe was just here to have a little fun on John’s expense. Maybe start a little collection down in Hell? Oh, wouldn’t that be fun? They’d string up Dresden right beside what was left of sweet Oliver. And then, then they’d get the one with The Gun, too.

And they’d make John watch.

His own personal Hell on earth.

But first … They saw the spell coming this time. The staff might direct his power, but it was also telegraphing Dresden’s intentions and Blythe pushed themselves out of the direct path of the incoming power. The edges of it still stung like a hundred knives to their skin.

They laughed.

“Too slow. Again.”, they admonished with a little click of their tongue. A tongue, that they wrapped around their blood stained finger. Only to draw back with a hiss, swallowing the astringent sweetness of fairymagic. “Oh, now that’s interesting!”

Once again, they cloaked themselves in shadow, pulling darkness around them, before reaching for the threads of magic around them. Long fingers knitted into a complicated pattern and when they stepped back into the half-light of the parking lot, barely a step away from Dresden, the power of their own spell released.

It took hold of the staff and yanked, hard, giving Blythe an opportunity to step into Dresden’s space, almost like a lover into a waiting embrace. The way Blythe wrapped their arms around the man furthered that illusion until their claws dug into the muscle beside his shoulderblades, holding him in place.

“Just a little lovebite.”, they quipped and dragged their tongue along Dresden’s face before sinking needle sharp teeth into the soft tissue of his throat.

Harry

Stars and stones, this demon moved fast, even when it wasn’t doing its little disappearing trick. Harry was faster and stronger, both magically and physically, than he’d ever been before, but he was having a devil of a time keeping up with the creature’s feints and attacks.

Case in point: the demon appeared in front of him, divested him of his staff in one smooth, distressingly powerful yank, and wound its arms around him in an almost sensual embrace. Harry tried to jerk back, about to quip something about the creature not being his type, but then he felt the sudden, burning agony of claws burying themselves into his back again as the demon locked itself to him.

Panic, fed by a growing, dreadful awareness of inevitability, lanced through him. He hissed through his teeth and tried to wrench free, grasping ineffectually at the demon’s bony arms. “Get off!” he snarled, bucking and thrashing against the arms holding him in place. He could feel the muscles near his shoulder blades tearing around the demon’s claws. “Get the fuck off!”

A lascivious slide of the demon’s tongue across his face made him reflexively jerk his head to the side, giving the monster a clear line to his throat. He realized his mistake a microsecond too late– though to be fair, there was probably little he could have done to avoid what happened next.

The demon’s fangs sank deep.

Stars exploded through his vision, and he convulsed, limbs flailing in a futile attempt to dislodge his attacker. Time seemed to bend around him, and his awareness warped. He felt something warm spurting down his neck, soaking through his shirt, and, inanely, a string of facts he had learned long ago began to drift through his mind.

The average human body holds about four-and-a-half to five-and-a-half liters of blood. He was taller than average, so he would have more than that, though he had never actually taken the time to do the math, so he couldn’t cite an actual number. Death by exsanguination could occur after the loss of half to two-thirds of your blood.

And he was bleeding fast. Weakening. He could already feel the dizziness beginning to set in, pulse fluttering, limbs going leaden, cold creeping through his body. He wasn’t even sure if he was still upright. Was the demon still with him? He wasn’t sure if that would even have made a difference.

He was going to die.

He was going to die, and… he’d had so much that he’d wanted to say. To Wynonna. How deep his feelings really went for her, the extremes he would go to for her. To John. How he was ready to face, to embrace the confused maelstrom of feelings that erupted in him whenever he was near.

He was going to die, and he wasn’t going to be able to tell them.

[alexanderwrites]

Thoughts Roundup - Twin Peaks: The Return, Part 10

“Laura Is The One”

After the wild, nuts-to-the-wall freakout that was Part 8, Parts 9 & 10 have returned us to a more conventional mode of storytelling - it should be noted that “conventional” is used here very loosely, and that by episodic TV standards, these episodes are still pretty nuts-to-the-wall. Maybe part 8 pushed its nuts THROUGH the wall whereas 9 & 10 just gently press the nuts up against the wall. Maybe I should drop this analogy altogether and get into what was a slow, ruminative but intensely powerful hour of TV. (Also - I didn’t do a write up last week because i’m stupid and forgot).

. The violence against women in this episode can’t be ignored. It’s right there, front and centre. We start with Horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE Richard Horne being his horrible self and killing (or at least brutally attacking, she seemed to still be breathing) a witness to his earlier hit and run, before we move on to Amanda Seyfried’s Becky, who is viciously attacked by her ALSO HORRIBLE boyfriend. The trifecta is completed when Richard heads to his Grandma’s for a vicious, intrusive robbery. There is commentary on violence towards women here: when Robert Knepper’s Rodney is accidentally swatted in the face by Candie, it leaves a small mark, but no harm is really done. She is beside herself the rest of the scene, wailing and crying and overridden with guilt and fear. She feels genuine sorrow - contrast this with Richard’s nonchalance towards his violence against women and we start to get a look at how disparately different victims of violence are treated. 

The violence on display is as much about our perception of gender roles and their function within narratives as it is about highlighting how HORRIBLE these characters are. Having said that, it would be nice to see more female characters with a little more agency in the foreground. I do wish we had some more diversity when it came to leading women in the show (not to mention the almost non-existence of women of colour in the show) to counter-balance the violence against them. I believe the characters ARE there, but due to the unimaginably huge roster of characters, a lot of them are shuffled to the back. It’s a shame because you know what? I could watch an entire hour of Jane Adams’ Constance. She’s such a charmingly funny and unique character, and every time she turns up I hope she’ll get more than a few lines. Diane is similarly fascinating, but because of the narrative structure (and this and last week’s revelations), she’s being kept at arm’s length. A great character again, but I hope she isn’t absent in future episodes like she was tonight. Luckily we have Janey-E (Naomi Watts is just the greatest of all time and I won’t hear any arguments against it) as a prominent character, and she is a fascinatingly complex one, as she swings from being weirdly performative to achingly sincere. It’s easy to list a whole bunch of other great female characters, but I suppose what I wish is that they were more central to the plot in a positive way. Twin Peaks couldn’t be Twin Peaks without violence. It’s one of the things that the show is fundamentally about, and furthermore, how we react to, or DON’T react to that violence. But I don’t know that we need three scenes of it in one episode to highlight that. Then again, discomfort was probably the intent. We’re meant to feel like something deeply wrong is happening, and if that’s the intention then this episode succeeded. 

. I talked about that more than I expected, so moving on! Nadine got the moment of the night for me when her Silent Drape Runner store was revealed. Get it, girl!! I adore Nadine, the absolute weirdo. I dearly, dearly hope we get more of her over the next 8 episodes. It’s almost impossible to see how she could tie in to the central story which is a shame because she’s one of the most fun people to watch on the show. 

. The scenes with Cooper were a mix of hilarious and tragic, as they tend to be. It is both understandable and unfathomable how Janey-E could find him attractive - on the one hand, the doctor’s scene reveals how scarily in shape he is. No one’s blaming her for checking him out. On the other hand....come on. You’re attracted to the guy who drinks coffee like it’s a sippy cup of ribena? It’s a funny notion, but also a little sad because it makes you realise how starved for warmth and affection she probably is, as anyone would be. Him, too. Their sex scene is initially pretty funny because of Kyle Maclachlan’s fucking expressions (literally). Man, he has proven himself to have adept comic skills this year - as well as pretty much every other acting skill known to the profession. But as they lie together afterwards, it feels poignant again. It’s another reminder of how close yet far away our Coop is, and as much as I want him to find himself, I want Janey-E to be happy and find herself, too. She’s been put through some shit, having unwittingly married a non-human doppelganger manufactured by an evil entity who has escaped from another dimension. That’s a lot for one person. Plus she’s named Janey-E. How unlucky can one person be?

. I sort of liked the stuff with Jim Belushi and Robert Knepper. They give a couple of very intense and solid performances, but the problem for me was that it’s another complex storyline being introduced so deep into the series. If it’s one that lasts a few episodes - fine. But i’d almost like to see their part wrapped up - or advanced dramatically - by next week, mainly because there are more interesting threads the one these two linger on. I want more Doppelcoop. I want the Bookhouse Boys heading to the black lodge. I want more Patrick Fischler rather than the guys he gives orders to. It’s hard to judge from episode to episode which assortment of characters you’ll get, and it’s starting to feel like this series’ logline should’ve adapted an existing catchphrase: “Twin Peaks is like a box of Gormonbozias: You never know what creamed corn nightmare you’re gonna get”. I personally am happy with whatever assortment we get, but getting Belushi and Knepper’s characters is like getting a pretty nice plain milk chocolate when I could be getting a delicious hazelnut deluxe. It’s not bad at all, just...perfectly fine. 

. When it comes to Diane and her relationship with Doppelcoop, i’m utterly intrigued and utterly uninterested in guessing where it’ll go. There will be a million theories floating out there about how and why they’re in contact, but i’d rather just watch the story play out rather than guess ahead. It’s a very cool development though, and Cole’s vision of Laura at the door was completely disarming and haunting. Again, I don’t really want to guess ahead at how Laura will play into the following episodes, but we know she will. That’s enough for me. I’ve been browsing the Twin Peaks reddit lately (I know...I know) and i’ve gotta admit i’m waring very thin from it. Not EVERYTHING is a thing, guys. I’m beginning to think all the fan theories are detracting from the story, when really i’d rather just experience the ride. We can’t outsmart Frost and Lynch and they’ll tell us what they want and in the manner they want to. And anyway, more interesting than a tenuous “it’s all set in another dimension and i have proof!” theory is something that put maybe the biggest smile on my face yet: ALBERT ON A DATE!!! With CONSTANCE!! How utterly delightful. I guess he’s got over his love of Harry Truman, then. 

. I really thought we were going to get Audrey this episode, as we inch closer and closer towards her through her horrible bastard son. Seeing more of Johnny this season has been a surprise, but from what happens to him tonight, not a pleasant one. It is fully heartbreaking watching him try to wriggle out of his restraints to rescue his Mum, and a pretty solid metaphor for so many of the male characters on the show: When a woman is being hurt, the men are impotent to help. For Johnny, it’s understandable that he can’t, the poor guy. But for the other men? It’s not that they can’t, it’s that they won’t. Harry Dean Stanton’s Carl plays a lovely old folk song outside his trailer, looking briefly torn up when he sees a mug go flying through a trailer window, the sound of a furious male voice growling from inside. Does he go and intervene? He doesn’t. And he’s a ‘good guy’, right? I re-watched Blue Velvet again yesterday, and was blown away by how full of shit Jeffery Beaumont’s good-guy image is. Like Carl, when he sees Dorothy’s attack, he doesn’t step in. He just watches. This seems to be a recurring theme with Lynch: those who see violence against women stand by and allow it to happen. And there ARE Carls everywhere, who’d rather say “That’s sad but not my business” than stand up and help. What happens to the Woman who witnesses evil (ie Richard’s hit and run) and tries to report it? She’s destroyed by a Man. God, it’s heartbreaking. The layers of commentary get deeper even as I write this, and I realise things about this episode I hadn’t thought of. I think part 10 is the most troubling and divisive, yet most fiercely critical yet. 

. And then, we get a surprise I truly wasn’t expecting: more of The Log Lady. Maybe the most iconic, important and wise character on the entire show, leading us onwards through the dark night. God bless the log lady, and god bless Catherine Coulson. Every word she speaks is fraught with such pain and feeling, and it’d be a fucking sin for us to not cherish every word of it. I found myself listening to her words just as Hawk does - with eyes almost closed, in utter silence, revering them and their power. At the centre of this Season, underneath it all, the real heroes are Hawk and The Log Lady. It is so nice, so utterly refreshing to have such a pure moment of goodness and beauty, and for it to be between a Woman written with true agency and a Native American Man who has risen to protect his town - two beautiful souls who are stepping in to save the day that the white dudes have repeatedly fucked right up. It’s a gorgeous scene, and it segues into a road house performance that is easily my favourite of the year so far. Rebekah Del Rio’s performance of No Stars (No surprises, it was co-written by David Lynch) is haunting and it feels like a turning point for the series - from here on in, the darkness in the woods around Twin Peaks is out in full force. Perhaps this is why the episode is so aggressive. I left this terrific episode feeling unsettled and troubled - and that’s exactly how we’re supposed to feel. There’s a bad moon rising over Twin Peaks. 

“But in these days the glow is dying. What will be in the darkness that remains?”