#also bring back the ever after line blease

[nompunhere]

Knightly Security (H/ollow K/night Vore Fic) (Illustrated)

Voretober promp- y’know what, maybe I shouldn’t even bother trying to link it back to that But it’s finally hereeeeeee! Collab with @scketchorinopop , he made art for this!!

Characters: H/egemol (going off of the maggot!H/egemol headcanon), O/grim (aka the D/ung D/efender or, more accurately to this fic, W/hite D/efender) Word Count: 6,310 Warnings: Anxiety, H/ollow K/night Spoilers, Bugs, Implied/Referenced Bug Racism(?), and Safe Soft Vore (I’d call this quarter-sized, probably). And in the same vein as the bug racism, Implied/Referenced Cannibalism(? sort of?? You’ll know what I mean if you’ve read the H/unter’s J/ournal entry on maggots) Other Notes: Yeah this was originally gonna be for Voretober 2022, either for the Bubble prompt or the Blanket one. College kinda threw that plan out the window. But hey! My cool good friend Scketch wanted to collab, so you get ✨art✨!! and also me starting to love the maggot!H/ege headcanon. it’s got Potential. now blease take this fic I can’t stand to look at it for another minute

Fic under the cut

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Hegemol was usually happy in his workshop. It was his safe space, a room filled with the tools and materials to bring his ideas to reality, a place where the maggot was free to express his ingenuity in a constructive way. The King had truly been generous in granting him this boon along with his knighthood.

At the moment, however, he couldn't find the focus to work on his creations. He was too distracted by the anxiety creeping under his skin. A room couldn't protect him from the fears that plagued his mind.

His armor was missing. No one was sure of the who, how, or why of the matter, but they at least knew when it was taken and where from. He found himself running through the details once more.

The Great Knights were reasonably certain that the set had been stolen while Hegemol was asleep in the City barracks, resting after a day of being stationed in the capital for an assignment. He had gone to bed in the room set aside for the knights or other important visitors. The Five didn't exactly like the separation, feeling like they were being treated as above all the other sentries and guards in more than just rank, but Hegemol did require the privacy that the room afforded. He did not need it getting out to the public that he was a maggot. Many theorized about what he could be, but of those guesses, few ever put forth the idea that the armored knight could possibly be "such a lowly creature," and those that did were scoffed at, regarded as delusional.

Back to the point, he had gone to bed, and though he could sleep in his armor, it was not the most comfortable, so he generally didn't if he had the choice. He'd gotten out of the suit, packed it into its space-saving form, and made sure it was within line of sight as he tucked himself under the blankets. He should've heard if someone tried to move it, or even enter the room, and yet, he didn't. Somehow, someone or something got past the locked door (or windows), took the heavy block of metal that was Hegemol's armor, and left with it, all without making a sound as he slept. It should've been too dense for a single bug to lift without immense effort. Maybe there was more than one perpetrator involved? Or perhaps magic was used? It had to have been stolen. There was no way it just- disappeared.

All these thoughts led to the tinkerer being highly distracted as he worked. He was abruptly dragged back to the present when the bracket he was welding loudly cracked. Quickly, he cut off the flame and set his blowtorch aside, peering closer at the damaged metal. He'd overdone it, the maggot realized with a groan, planting his masked face on the tabletop. That was what he got for letting his mind wander while using dangerous tools, he supposed.

He left his head on the table for a few long moments, until a quiet knock at the door made him flinch. He looked up, hesitating. The retainers knew not to come in without his express permission. If anyone was going to enter his workshop, it'd be someone who already knew his secret.

"What is it?" he called, just loud enough to be heard.

"It's me," came the response, gentle and friendly, a toned-down version of that familiar jovial tone. Hegemol made a sound of acknowledgement, and the door slowly clicked open, revealing the face of his close friend and fellow knight, Ogrim. Currently the only active knight within the walls of the White Palace, as the other three were in the City, guarding the streets and searching for the all-important tool that would allow their fifth to perform his job.

"Hello," the Defender greeted, leaning into the room, "Just checking in. My patrol brought me to this area of the halls, and I figured I should see how you're faring? Wouldn't do to let you feel abandoned when- well, I'm sure you're well aware." He gave an uncertain chuckle, tapping a claw against the doorframe and glancing into the hall. When he looked back at Hegemol, his gaze was colored with curiosity. His eyes lingered on the maggot's small form perched at the workstation, clad in only his welding gear.

The armorless knight cleared his throat and stared at the tools in front of him, prompting Ogrim to do the same. "Heh, yes, I'm- I-I'm alright. Thank you," Hegemol tried. He winced at the stutter. It was so much easier to hide it when making use of the artificial confidence the suit provided. His friend merely nodded, though he looked unconvinced. The tinkerer sighed and pulled off his welding mask to give the other a weary smile, getting one in return.

He set the mask down as Ogrim stepped fully into the room and closed the door behind him with a quiet 'click.' The beetle came closer, gesturing to the bracket and other bits of metal spread over the workspace. "So, what were you working on, if I may be so bold?"

"Oh, just- some.. locking mechanisms. F-for the armor." He leaned forward to pick up the bracket once more, glaring at it with a huff and turning it over in his hands. To his side, Ogrim tilted his head, giving an inquisitive hum to prompt him to continue. Hegemol glanced at him, then back to the table. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. It was okay for him to go on about his work. His friend was offering him the opportunity.

"T-the suit itself should be too heavy for a bug to lift, especially when condensed as it was, but if it were unfolded, it could be moved piece by piece, or even w-worn out of the room. Only the King and I know how to unfold it—though I could teach you if you'd like—but it's theoretically n-not impossible for another bug to have f-figured out the mechanisms." He gestured to the bracket and the other metal pieces before them, the other knight following his movements with interest. "I was thinking of adding these extra locking parts, to make the set more difficult to unpack if you don't know the exact process. They would also offer more surface area for further spellwork to be inscribed, particularly if I can add pale ore to increase the efficacy of the magic. I plan to work with the King to design some that would reject anyone who isn't the proper owner or a trusted ally, w-when he has time," the maggot finished, quieting to a mumble at the end.

Meanwhile, though Ogrim was genuinely interested in what his friend had to say, he still found himself focusing on the smaller bug's state more than the words themselves. Hegemol was a lot harder to hear than normal, despite the lack of metal shell to cover his mouth—or perhaps because of it. The Defender didn't know the specifics of how the helmet worked, but he distantly recalled hearing about how it amplified sound in both directions, making it easier for the wearer to hear and to be heard. It gave Hegemol's voice a resonance that was strange to hear him without after so long.

Aside from that, the technically-smallest knight was always rather soft-spoken, but rarely to this extent. Ogrim nearly had to strain to pick out his words. His voice picked up a little as he talked about his passion, but otherwise faded to something anxious and uncertain. In fact, as the beetle watched, his body language screamed of anxiety: the constant fidgeting, the unfocused gaze, the shifting of weight on the stool. Hegemol was actually quite expressive when not covered in layers of thick metal—Ogrim just wished he could see those expressions in better circumstances.

The tinkerer looked up at his compatriot, waiting with bated breath for any sort of response to his ideas. The larger knight stared back, blinked, and after a moment, offered another bright smile. "That all sounds very impressive!"

Hegemol waited another second or two, then let out a short sigh, half disappointed and half relieved at the generic reply. "Thanks," he intoned.

Ogrim, seeing the half-hearted acceptance of his own lackluster response, tapped a claw to his chin in thought. "I do believe the idea has potential," he elaborated, moving his forelimb to rest gently on the other's shoulder, "I just can't say how much, precisely, as it's not my area of expertise. I have hope it will prove effective, though. You’re very good with this type of thing." Hegemol slowly nodded. It was then that the beetle noticed just how tense his friend was, even as he felt quite squishy under his own hard, chitinous claw. He turned it so that the sharper bits were angled firmly away from delicate skin and used the flat side to slowly rub the maggot's shoulder, keeping the pressure light while still trying to offer some sense of comfort.

His friend bore it for a few moments before shuddering and nudging the claw, signaling him to stop. The Defender quickly removed the offending limb and tilted his head in concern. "Are you sure you're alright, friend? It's not like you to shy away from contact."

"Yes, it's just," the tinkerer hunched in on himself, "when outside of my armor, every t-touch feels overwhelming, you know? I'm not used to feeling so.. exposed."

"Oh! Of course, of course, my apologies, I should've realized-"

"I-it's fine, you meant well, I know." He huffed and gestured loosely with an arm. "It's as if.. everything's so sharp, a-and cold, and defined out here. Like anything could p-pierce through me at any moment. Not that it hasn't happened before," Hegemol muttered, pulling off his welding gloves to stare at his callused hands, and the old, jagged lines that criss-crossed up his arms. The results of years of learning his craft the hard way. Ogrim hummed sympathetically at the sight. The Five all had their scars—his just came from a different source than the others'.

"I k-know I can handle myself without the armor," the maggot continued, squeezing his hands shut, "but after so long being r-reliant on it, when it's not there for me to retreat into, everything suddenly feels like so much. It's not that I've forgotten how to feel—I still c-can, through the metal, thanks to His Majesty's enchantments—but it's usually dulled. Like- like going from a shell with all setae shaved off to one freshly molted, or so I imagine. A-and usually, when I do come out, it's only for short spans, or for rest. It's just- it's all-" He fumbled for a moment before slumping with a sigh.

"No, I understand. You've explained it quite well, I think," Ogrim chuckled softly, suppressing the urge to reach for his friend again. Hegemol offered a brief tired smile in return, then went back to fidgeting with his tools, picking off lingering flecks of dirt. The beetle tilted his head at how worn-out the other seemed, noting the droop of his antennae and darkness beneath his eyes. It made sense; the tinkerer was highly distressed at the loss of his armor, and it had been missing for over a day, not to mention that he had been in his workshop almost the entire time since. The Defender found it hard to believe that he would've gotten any sleep last night. "Is there anything I can do to help, my friend?"

"Hm? Oh, uhm," Hegemol tapped at the table, contemplating, "N-nothing that I can think of, at the moment. I'll.. let you know? Though I w-wouldn't want to keep you from your duties." He paused. "Speaking of which, shouldn't you be getting back to those, soon? Not that I don't appreciate your company, b-but…"

"Ah! My patrol, yes. I should, shouldn't I?" The dung beetle rubbed his horn sheepishly. "It just feels wrong to leave you unsupported when you're struggling like this. I don't suppose the King would mind a few minutes' break too badly, would he?"

No, he'd likely be far too absorbed in his own work to notice. The maggot scrunched his face a little, then snorted at a joke he kept to himself. He wasn't certain the most loyal of the Five would take as much humor in it. "You're probably fine," he mumbled, absently scrubbing at his eyes. "And I'm not completely unsup- supported. The others are doing their best out there to help."

"Still, I feel as though there's something more I could.. do…" Hegemol looked up as Ogrim trailed off. The Defender had a thoughtful look in his eye, a claw tapping against his chin. "...I may have an idea."

"Mm?"

"It would allow me to give you comfort and respite, while still being free to perform my tasks," he continued. There was a cautious air to his voice, quite unusual for the boisterous knight.

"I'm listening." The other's hesitance made Hegemol rather nervous himself, but he was open to ideas. He got a sense that he should know where Ogrim was going with this, but whatever it was, it eluded him. His friend was rarely one to choose his words so carefully.

"What if.." The beetle clicked his forelimbs together, glancing toward the pile of prototypes in the corner of the room, then back at their creator. "I could share my armor with you, in a manner of speaking? Just until your own is found."

Okay, he knew the larger knight didn't mean that in the literal sense, but what did he mean? The answer teased frustratingly at the edge of the tinkerer's mind, just out of reach.

Seeing his smaller friend’s look of confusion and concentration, the Defender gave a quiet laugh. He could practically watch the thoughts churning behind the maggot’s eyes. Might as well make it easier on him. “I’m sure you remember a.. particular rescue tactic, that I sometimes employ? Very effective in emergencies, but unrecognized by the public, due to its, er, taboo nature?” At Hegemol’s dawning comprehension, Ogrim released the breath he hadn’t noticed he was holding. He hadn’t realized it would be so nerve-wracking to tiptoe around the subject like that! He should’ve just ripped the bandage off. It wasn’t as though he’d ever gotten to ask before, not in a casual setting such as this. Of course, he’d been planning out how to bring the idea up to Isma, but- heh, no no, that could come later. A good.. good while later. “I know it’s.. odd… but it should serve our needs quite well, I think.”

“I… ah.” The smaller knight slumped back on his seat, leaning against the table as he processed. “Could- could I have a moment to think about this?” “Of course, my friend, of course! I wouldn’t want to pressure you into anything you don’t truly want, or frighten you away from something that may help.”

Slowly, Hegemol nodded, grabbing a drill bit to fidget with off the workbench while he considered the offer. Ogrim was asking to- to eat him. His immediate instinct was a shot of fear through the chest, based upon childhood lessons specifically intended to help him avoid such a fate. Of the few things he could remember about his parents, those instances were what stuck out most—their desperate attempts to ensure his survival in a world full of predators that would take any chance they could get to sate their hunger with a maggot’s succulent flesh. Even those among Hallownest’s noble class weren’t above such desires, much as they claimed to be.

Focusing on the weight of metal in his hands, he pushed the fear down. It wasn’t a life-or-death situation. This was Ogrim. Loyal, honest Ogrim, dedicated to his friends and kingdom above all else. The knight who’d sooner make himself completely vulnerable to a terrified citizen than let them come to any harm. This was something the beetle did on an almost regular basis, protecting those in need with his own body when the situation called for it. Of course, the average Hallownestian had claws, or horns, or at the very least, a hard shell, of which Hegemol had none. He'd be entirely at the mercy of his friend's gut. Still, the Defender had experience. He knew how to do it safely.

That's not to mention, the maggot had done something similar himself, two or three times before. Only in absolutely dire situations, of course, and only when he could be certain that the citizen in need of protection was unconscious and wouldn't be waking up anytime soon. He wasn't taking the risk of letting a stranger in on his secret. Not a chance. Though, tucking them into the hollow space at the center of his armor's torso was.. not the safest, he'd admit, what with all the exposed mechanisms, the only cover from such being haphazard platforms and sheets of metal installed to make the inner workings more accessible for maintenance. Perhaps he should improve that a little, add some padding to it. It'd make it more comfortable on him for routine cleaning and repairs, at least…

He repressed a jump when Ogrim abruptly shifted, glancing toward the door. Right, he should make his decision. He tapped the table a few times, both as a means to grab attention and to expel restless energy. When the beetle turned back to him, Hegemol voiced his concerns. "So- erm. You say it would be- it would be until my armor is found, yes? But.. w-what if it isn't found? I would need to get back to working on a n-new suit."

His fellow knight gave him an understanding look. "Should that be necessary, I'll let you out to continue your work. I'll let you out whenever you ask, really! The goal is to ease your mind and allow you some rest, not to trap you. Once you feel ready, you can get right back to it. I'll even let you back in later, if the need arises," he finished with a wink.

The tinkerer obliged him with a laugh. Yeah, Ogrim would never want to hurt him. He was far too kind-hearted, not to mention a dear friend. Giving the situation one last thought, Hegemol weighed the pros and cons. There weren't all that many cons, truthfully. He would be putting his life entirely in the Defender's claws—in his stomach, even—but he knew he could trust Ogrim. And there would be little to no privacy between them, but again, he trusted his friend not to abuse that. The courtesy would extend both ways, of course. And it would be strange, and new, and scary, but isn't everything, the first time around? He couldn't have gotten this far in life without taking a few risks.

As for pros, it would be… comfortable, supposedly. Dark, warm, and soft—ideal sleeping conditions. He didn't know if he'd be able to get past the other traits that defined the inside of a digestive organ, but he supposed he'd simply have to find out. But, most importantly, he'd be shielded from the world. He would have to relinquish all control, but in exchange, he would gain full protection. The thought gave him pause. It would only be for a resting period, and then he'd be released, he reminded himself. In sleep, he would have no control either way, so he wasn't sacrificing much of anything in that regard.

In the end, it all came down to trust. Trust, and willingness to try a new experience.

Finally, Hegemol looked up, meeting Ogrim's gaze head-on, and gave a single, firm nod. The dung beetle brightened considerably. "You accept?"

This was his chance to back down. He fought off the urge to take it. Be brave, o Mighty One. "Yes."

"Excellent! And, er.. Just to clarify, you do know what, precisely, I am offering?"

The maggot nodded again, more shallowly, expression revealing little. "Y-you wish to… ingest me. And hold me harmlessly within y-your stomach while I rest. Is my understanding correct?"

The Defender leaned back a bit. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't at least somewhat looking forward to this, but it didn't seem like the time to admit that aloud. "Ah, heh, 'wish' might be a strong word for it, but, er. Essentially, yes. That's my offer. Knowing that, you'd still agree to it?"

"Mhm."

"Good, good, that's good. I just wanted to make certain you knew what you would be getting into. Now!" He grinned and clacked his claws together in a clap. "Let's get to it, shall we?"

Hegemol let out a slight huff of relief. If his friend asked him if he was sure one more time, he was almost certain he would've changed his answer. He scanned the beetle's face, considering. "So, how do we.. go about this? I'm not too familiar with the process."

"Right, right. Well, to start, we need to get you into my mouth, which- hm. That's a good question, actually! We have a couple options for that. Would you be alright with me picking you up? That would be the easiest way, I think. Otherwise, I could hold my forearms out, and you could climb onto them yourself. Oh, or we could use the table! I could rest my chin on the edge, and you could crawl in of your own volition."

Ah, another chance to lose his nerve, how lovely. Still, with how excited his fellow knight looked over having the idea, the tinkerer could hardly find it in himself to turn him down. "T-that last choice sounds, um, acceptable."

Once again reminded of his comrade's hesitance, Ogrim tried to tone down his enthusiasm. Keeping his expression and tone light, he provided directions, wanting to make it easier on the smaller bug. "Alright. Go ahead and hop up, and I'll be ready whenever you are."

The beetle backed up a little to give Hegemol room as the tinkerer moved his tools and materials out of the way, shuffling them aside to be put away properly later. That done, he pulled himself from the stool onto his workbench. Cautiously, he turned back to his friend, who had gotten to one knee and was already lowering his head onto the surface.

Gods, even at eye level, he was.. big. Big, and yet not big enough, or so it appeared. His mouth was larger than the maggot's own, yes, but their eyes were around the same scale. There couldn't have been much difference between the sizes of their heads, even. Ogrim gave him an easy grin, then everything else stopped as his maw opened wide.

Oh.

The anxious knight couldn't help the shudder that ran through him at the yawning cavern. No, Hegemol. Calm. Focus. It's just Ogrim. Just Ogrim… He steeled himself and crept closer. Those jaws could open further than he expected, honestly. He eyed the saliva starting to pool alongside the beetle's tongue with trepidation. He was hoping there'd be less of it. Leaning forward on his forelimbs, he took in the sight of the Defender's waiting mouth, shivering as humid breath washed over him, antennae flicking back. It was so still, so patient, and yet he could see all the little twitches of each muscle, held taut in anticipation. He sat back, just enough to lift his upper hands and tap them together nervously.

This didn't escape the other's notice, of course. Ogrim let his face fall into something more relaxed and reassuring. "I promise you, this is safe. I won't let you come to any harm, and certainly not from my own body."

Hegemol heaved in a breath and straightened up, rubbing his arm, brushing over his scars. "I-I know. I trust you. That's.. that's not it, e-exactly, it's just…"

"Mm?"

He huffed and blurted out his concern. "Just- are we- we sure I-I'll fit? Not that I d-don't trust your judgment, it just- i-it seems- …improbable."

The dung beetle blinked. After a moment, he put a claw to his mandibles, eyes squinted slightly in thought. "Hmm… It shouldn't be a problem! I've never ingested anyone quite your size before, true, but your, er, malleability should more than make up for that." To prove his point, he carefully pressed down on the maggot's head, watching the flesh bounce back into place as he released it. Hegemol shook himself out and nodded, eyes squeezed shut. Ogrim chuffed apologetically. "The process of getting you down might be rough, but I assure you, it should be quite comfortable once you're safely inside."

"I-I'm sure. Could- could we..?"

"Of course, friend, of course."

Once more, the maw was laid open before him. Once more, Hegemol inched forward, until his vision was almost entirely taken up by the shadowed green inside of his fellow knight's mouth. Once more, he steeled himself for what was to come. And with that, he pushed forward to immerse himself in Ogrim's depths.

Or he tried to, anyway. In reality, what happened was that he flinched back as soon as he felt mandibles scrape against the sides of his face. Sharp, sharp, far too sharp. As he crouched there, panting and staring, those perfectly innocuous chunks of chitin seemed all too threatening. He could feel lingering points of contact where they had just barely brushed against him. As the larger bug closed his mouth to tilt his head in concern, Hegemol gasped in a breath and let his eyes fall shut. Scarab mandibles aren't sharp, you blubbering fool. Where's all that courage it took to get here? He barely touched you.

"...You don't have to do this if you're not comfortable, Hege-"

"No, no," he shook his head and sat up, meeting the beetle's eyes with a determined look. "Th-that was just- instinct. I want to do this. I-I just.." Ogrim gave him a questioning look, waiting patiently. "Could," the maggot started. He huffed, frustrated with himself. "Could you.. put me in your- your mouth? I- You have experience with this, and I- I'd rather this part b-be over with."

Somehow, the Defender's voice fell to an even gentler tone. "Of course, I understand. Just relax, close your eyes if you'd like, and I'll take care of it from here."

With one final nod, Hegemol went still, his eyes falling shut as instructed. He couldn't bring himself to go entirely limp, but this would have to do. He couldn't keep himself from tensing slightly as large claws came to rest on either side of his face. Thankfully, Ogrim provided him a moment to breathe and resettle himself before gently tugging him forward. The solid chitinous appendages squeezed ever so carefully to reshape his head into something narrower. He took one more deep breath, and with that, he was finally guided into the maw of his brother in arms.

The beetle tried not to gasp as Hegemol made contact with his tongue. The taste… He wasn’t normally one for meat, but by the gods, his friend tasted divine. He couldn’t help the saliva that rushed in upon detecting such a delicacy entering his mouth, but he could at least make use of it. He promptly began to slather the maggot with fluid as soon as his head was engulfed in his jaws. The sweet, savory flesh was still highly malleable, conforming to the limits of Ogrim’s mouth, giving so easily to the ministrations of his tongue. He stayed mindful, of course. He didn’t want to startle his friend any further, let alone make him feel like a mere morsel, Wyrm forbid. No, no, of course not, he was just.. slicking him to ease the trip down, that’s all. He’d just have to make sure to clarify that once the tinkerer was settled. Along with, perhaps, a brief, tasteful compliment to his flavor. The Defender couldn’t exactly lie to his fellow knight, now could he? Especially when- ah, it seemed he was humming his enjoyment aloud. He let the low sound peter out, gave the other a short pat, and eased him further inside.

The smaller knight would've very much appreciated it if his friend could have gotten this part over with. He didn't need his thoughts spiraling out of control again before he was even fully inside. Nearly holding his breath, he hunkered down and let everything happen around him. It was difficult not to struggle, but he managed, keeping himself limp. Luckily, it seemed that the brunt of the.. tasting was over, though he couldn't help tensing as his head met the back of the throat. His antennae twitched against the damp surface. Even with his eyes squeezed shut, it was easy to feel when the flesh before him parted, opening into a yawning void that he didn’t dare gaze upon. The sparse moments before it pulled him inside seemed to last an eternity, until finally, Ogrim swallowed.

The scarab couldn't help but grin as his comrade began to slide into his gullet. He'd never gotten the chance to really enjoy the process before, especially not with anyone so squishy. Now, he could finally be slow, gentle, rather than rushing to get his charge down and out of danger. He could feel every little detail of his friend's form, taste every little subtle flavor. Every twitch and squirm was clear to him, even as he could tell how much the smaller knight was trying to keep calm, keep still. Without his input, another hum kicked up. His claws met his chest, hardly able to detect the near-formless shape past his own flesh and shell and armor, but distinctly feeling the mass pushing outward against the muscles of his esophagus. His tongue flicked out against his mandibles, seeking more of the exquisite taste. Such a wonderful little warmth, being squeezed down, down, deeper into his body.

Despite the discomfort of being shoved around like a helpless ragdoll, Hegemol was grateful that at least this part of the process was smooth and efficient. The esophageal muscles’ actions were involuntary, simply performing the job they were made for and giving him no special treatment. He was shunted downward at a steady pace. Fast, but not so much as to be disorienting. The mechanicalness of it all was almost a comfort to the tinkerer. More examples of automation and consistency became clear to him as he was pushed deeper. The regular pounding of his friend’s heart, pushing blood through the beetle’s hemocoel. Breaths drawing air through the spiracles to spread into tracheae, carrying oxygen to tissues throughout the body. Soft gurgles of the lower digestive tract processing food eaten long before his arrival. The rhythm of life was overwhelming, when heard all at once, but as he broke it down in his mind to its component parts, it became a sort of reassurance. Things still made sense, even when made up of complex organic matter rather than raw elements or simple minerals.

All this self-soothing focus was enough to occupy his attention until he was dropped unceremoniously into Ogrim’s stomach. He quickly pushed himself upright and shook himself out, scrubbing at his face with his upper set of hands. He had barely a second to orient himself before the wall behind him squeezed inward, making him gasp.

The Defender hugged himself tightly as his fellow knight was deposited safe in his belly. So soft, so warm, just barely weighing down the organ. The perfect size to make him comfortably full, while still having a fair bit of wiggle room. He wasn't sure if the maggot really was as warm as he seemed, or if it was just his own fondness and contentment making it feel that way. And the softness… With how pliant Hegemol's exterior was, it was hard to make out his outline, discern where the smaller bug ended and his own flesh began. He could only determine his friend's exact location by the movements against his inner walls. It made every shift of the limbs and flick of the antennae feel special, ephemeral, giving him a fluttery sensation as though his gut were full of lumaflies rather than a comrade. He gave another small squeeze, then loosened his hold to instead pat lightly at the hidden form. This was lovely, every bit of it. He'd have to see if Hege would ever be willing to do this again sometime.

“Make yourself at home, dear friend,” Ogrim sighed, a blissful smile on his face. “Are you alright? How is it in there? Comfortable, I hope.”

Hegemol shuddered a bit as the wall retracted. Sitting up, he looked around, not that he could see anything, exactly. His antennae waved about in the darkness. It smelled.. odd. He wouldn’t call it gross—as a maggot, he’d be hard-pressed to find much of anything disgusting—but it was certainly new. Not impossible to get used to though, given enough time. He reached out to touch the enclosing flesh. Damp. Slippery. Dragging his hand along it, he felt out the space around him. There wasn’t much. The walls kept closing in on him, rubbing against him, kneading him. He wasn’t food. There was no acid, he- he wasn’t food, it was just- the organ was investigating its new occupant, that’s all. Breathe, Hegemol. He was fine. …He’d be fine.

“..Hegemol?”

Slowly, he turned around to face the front, resting his forehead against where Ogrim’s claw was with a sigh. “I-I’m alright, yes.” He was safe, he knew. No stinging, burning, or tingling, and he was certain he’d notice a lot faster than most other bugs if there was. As for comfort… He moved a hand to rub back at the beetle’s innards. It was.. soft, yes, and warm. That was to be expected. Arthropods’ interiors tended to have far less defense than their exteriors. And there was plenty of padding to hold in heat. The walls were slick, but covered in thick fluid that clung to anything it touched. It… he couldn’t say it was unpleasant, really, not when he knew it couldn’t hurt him. Perhaps if he viewed it as a warm bath..?

“I-it will take some g-getting used to, I think, but it- it should d-do nicely.” After all, it did provide the one thing he wanted. The outside world was entirely blocked out, hidden behind layers of muscle and one of the toughest sets of armor in Hallownest. There was nothing sharp or cold or hard, deep in the dung beetle’s gut. Nothing to possibly hurt him but for the acids that could threaten to escape the walls, kept inert by Ogrim’s sheer force of will and care for his wellbeing. He knew the larger knight was experienced in this, and that his will was strong. He could trust him with his life. He was safe.

The tinkerer did one more loop of the space, trying not to shudder as the surrounding muscles brushed against his side, then settled right in the center, lying down in the pit of the stomach. He shuffled his limbs a bit, adjusting his position to root himself more firmly amongst the ever-moving tissues. At least he could be somewhat stable. The organ still kneaded and pressed at him curiously, not quite knowing what to do with him. The front wall, especially. He shut his eyes tight and tilted his head down as something rubbed at him from the outside. Ogrim’s claw, right. Rightrightright. His friend was merely checking in on him. He leaned into the show of concern, just a bit. Just to confirm that he was doing well. He appreciated knowing that the scarab wouldn’t forget about him so easily.

Ogrim rubbed his stomach, satisfied. The little engineer really hit the spot. He flushed slightly; he shouldn’t be thinking of his comrade that way. He was so delectable though, and so filling-! His breath hitched as Hegemol nuzzled(??) back at him. That’s what it felt like, anyway. He quietly chuckled at the abrupt show of affection. Always full of surprises, that bug. Though perhaps this shouldn’t have been quite so unexpected. Hegemol was plenty tactile with his fellow knights when safely concealed in his armor, after all. Maybe this was a sign that the method was working? Was the maggot feeling more confident, thanks to the experience? Thanks to him? Oh, he hoped so. He so adored being able to successfully assist others with their needs and problems, particularly those he cared for. It always left him with a sense of fulfillment.

“It’s time for me to go back to my patrol now, but you try and get some sleep, alright? I’ll wake you if there’s any news regarding your armor, or if the King requests your presence, but otherwise, you should remain undisturbed. Just let me know when you want out, or if you need anything else, and I’ll be happy to oblige.” Somewhere under the layers of his body, he felt the up-and-down movement of a nod, as well as a small vibration from Hegemol’s hum of acknowledgement a moment later. With one more good pat, he stood and began towards the door of the workshop, trying to keep his steps smooth and steady for the tinkerer’s sake. It felt as though the smaller bug was already nestled right in. The occasional shudder or shiver came through, but those were starting to die down. Hopefully they would dissipate in full within the next few minutes as the maggot adjusted.

The White Defender paused as he reached the exit, one claw on the handle. He gazed fondly downward, towards where his brother in arms currently resided. Inside, Hegemol would hear one last reassurance as his sleepless nights caught up to him. “Rest well, friend,” came the hushed murmur, “I’ll be your armor for as long as you need.”

***********************************

And there we go! Thank you to everyone who stuck around during these. massive gaps between posts;; And again, a big thank you to Scketch!! This has been fun, I'd love to work with you again sometime. Or merhaps another friend who would like to collaborate?  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also also! I have been granted permission to share these other sketches as well, from earlier in the writing/art planning process:

(That last one was a little what-if scenario of Hege getting unwillingly nommed and not really having a way to effectively struggle, eheheh) (it’s not like I have a fic outline where THAT would ever happen. ahaha. ha,,, ha)

Thanks for reading! Feedback (and reblogs) are greatly appreciated, and criticism is welcome, so long as it’s constructive/respectful. Asks are open.

—————

DNI NSFW blogs, blogs that post exclusively hard and/or fatal vore, weight gain blogs, mpreg blogs, proshippers, TERFs, ace exclusionists, etc.

[onestolendare]

Here goes an over analysis of “Once Upon A Time”, I will heavily discuss the topics of suicide and suicidal thoughts in this analysis and I’m putting a huge Trigger warning and content warning for those on this post!! Please be sure to be in the right headspace before reading!

@bluejaye91 asked me to do some more songs and they motivated me to actually do another episode of this!!

It had been a hot minute since I listened to the demo tracks of bare and let me tell I was shook when I gave Stupid Second Thoughts a listen.

There is one CORE difference in the demo that is not in the final version. It is made so clear in stupid second thoughts that Jason is already planning to kill himself before he even goes to see the Priest!

Listen to these chilling lyrics:

“Heart beat, pumping blood and racing in it’s final hours” (00:00 -00:09)

“I don’t need to search anymore, No other arms could hold the peace of yours To stay with you I wish I could” (00:09-00:27)

“But I’ll have to let the worlds fall on your sleeping years So I don’t see you honest tears” (00:27-00:42)

“It’s so hard….” (00:42- 00:49)

Like wow, are you already crying? Yeah me too and this is only the start! We follow with heavy recall to the song Ever After

“I know I should be the hero that fulfills you dreams

But some Ever After’s just can’t be” (00:49-01:03)

This lyric was cut after the 2000 Los Angeles run, and gotta admit I kinda miss it!

The demo version also contains the confession that Jason was indeed very much in love with Peter!

“So goodnight my love yes you heard it righ you were my love” (01:03-01:15)

This line heavily reminds me of this lyric from “Bare”:

“Please know I loved you from the start” (01:15-01:30) Which is a line Jason says after he has decided to kill himself.

There is one last imagery I in the demo version that I find interesting to share.

“Nothing left to say Trapped alone here with my best plans laid astray Standing scared outside a locked church, soul search Seeking some last answer from some higher power” (01:30- 01:53)

A locked church as opposed to a cold church. In this version Jason feels even more hostile towards his religion. Also note that “higher power” was replaced with “a god who loves me” so in the demo Jason truly doesn’t think that his god could accept him the way he is. And in this paragraph we have again indication that Jason has already made up his mind “nothing left to say” and “some last answer” namely.

I think it’s safe to say that in this version the talk with the priest has much less impact on Jason which is probably why these lyrics were all cut and altered at some point!

With that let’s move on the soundboard audio of the 2000 Los Angeles run, the song is now officially called “Once Upon A Time” and much closer to the final version

“I don’t need to search anymore No other arms could hold the peace of yours To stay with you I wish I could I know I should be a hero who fulfills your dreams But some ever after’s just can’t be” (01:53-02:31)

This is a slightly altered version of what was in the Demo. But to quote one the dear people in the bare discord it’s also THE line we were robbed of!! Jason McConell stop making us cry challenge!!

“Once upon a time When all was good and right I held your hand in mine” (02:31 – 02:54)

What this paragraph is telling me is that Jason didn’t feel wrong or dirty when he was with Peter, and by John Griffin’s delivery you can tell the despair inside of Jason, he knows that the church and his family can’t accept him, and once upon a time clearly signals that the time when all was good and right is over and will never be again.

“And we knew it all Did you know my love for you The only truth I ever knew” (02:54 – 03:12)

Also “The only truth I ever knew”! We know that Jason has a lot of internalized homophobia and this lines invokes just that to me. He thinks that being with is wrong, it’s not what God or his family wants from him but when he is with Peter it all clicks together. Being with him is Jason’s only truth, the only time we can allow his real feelings.

I also want to put this paragraph into contrast with the final version:

“Once upon a time All I needed was his hand in mine And we knew it all but Now I know not what I do I bow my head and turn to You” (03:12-03:29)

I feel like the early version of the song is much more about Jason and his relationship with Peter than Jason and his relationship to the catholic church.

So let’s end this post with the only two differences between the 2004 and the 2007 version:

The so hard ending was actually still in the show during the Off-Broadway Previews

“It’s so hard” (03:29-03:43)

During the official 2004 NYC run the ending of the song was like this:

“All I needed was your hand in mine, Then I lost my way And now I know not what I’d do I bow my head and turn to you” (03:43 -04:08)

In the album Jason says “his hand” whereas here Jason says “your hand” so he is actually talking to Peter, and that prolly has a reason but it’s 1 am and my brain is dead

One last quick note: I do these lyrics by ear so they may not be 100% accurate since English isn’t my first language! 

And that’s all we had for you today kids! Hit like and reblog if you enjoyed, drop a comment for a suggestion of what the next song should be and goodniiiight (yes I read that in my head the voice of a youtuber adfdfd)

[slashiest-slasher]

How about a male s/o who has chronic lower back and tailbone pain? To the point where they cant walk or sit most of the time uwu I love ur writing

uwuwuwuwu thanks, i love when you guys send stuff in! i don’t know who specifically you want so i’ll go with my default slashers. i struggle with back pain a lot so i feel this, there's a reason i only sleep on my front lmao wish i had a big beefy slasher to make it all better tho

warnings for some nsfw (sorry, can’t help myself, jerking off helps when my back’s hurting so *shrugs*)

Michael Myers

□ Lets be honest here, at first Michael isn’t going to really care. Yeah, you hurt, big whoop, everyone has back pain. You don’t see him laying around whining about it. (Michael blease, you get thrown around and shoved off building enough to know how much it hurts….)

□ But as he starts to care about you more, and sees how bad it is, when you can’t get out of bed and you’re crying so hard that you’re not making any noises or tears any more because your pain pills are all the way in the bathroom. That’s when he starts becoming more considerate and, dare I say, soft.

□ He always makes sure the pills are on your nightstand, and there’s a glass of water usually waiting for you. When you refuse to take your pills, but are obviously in a lot of pain, he’ll hold them to your lips until you take them. But the damn bastard isn’t likely to do anything else.

□ Except maybe lay in bed with you to keep you company, though this tends to line up with his own back pain since this dumbass has wrecked his back doing some pretty stupid shit over the years.

□ If your pain is particularly bad, and the pills aren’t doing anything to help, he does have one solution he learned over the years. It’s best not to ask where he picked it up from. And if you’re not already in a sexual relationship you better get real comfortable, real fast.

□ He lubes up his index finger and slips it in, and massages your tailbone between it and his thumb. At first it feels odd, especially if you and Michael haven’t crossed that line yet, but pain starts to lessen so you don’t say anything.

□ Once Michael notices that you aren't crying anymore, he switches over to ruthlessly fingering your prostate, catching you off guard, but making you cum all over his mask in record time (since he didn't exactly have the foresight to move away). And damn, as awkward as that might've been, it did work, at least for now.

□ Michael is going to make you be a whole hell of a lot more conscious about everything you're doing to help with your back pain, because if he can cope, so can you. Though you do smile at the advertisement for spinal injections for back pain slipped in with the mail.

Jason Voorhees

□ You normally sleep in pretty late compared to Jason so he’s not at all surprised to see you stay in bed late while he gets up and does all the early morning chores. What /does/ worry him is when he comes back home and still finds you in bed, hiding your face, and your pillow stained with tears.

□ He immediately starts to panic, thinking he might’ve done something to hurt, and starts trying to gently roll you over to face him, but stops as soon as he hears you whimper. He’s breathing pretty heavily and if could, he would start crying, but he hovers instead until you explain to him that you’ve been dealing with back pain for a while now, but you've run out of your pain pills and it hust hurts really bad.

□ Say no more! Jason rushes off to his little collection of loot he has saved from the campers over the years. Pain pills, close enough to your prescription, included. Once you take them and they've kicked in, Jason gets you sitting up so he can start helping you stretch your back muscles, and going for a walk.

□ After all, that what his mom always did when her back hurt from being up on her feet all day. But if walking around starts bothering you too much, he'll carry you back to the shack, and will instead lay down with you and will but either a really warm, or ice cold hand on where the worst of the pain (depending on if he's dead or not, since he's nice and chilly when dead, but unnaturally warm when alive).

□ Jason will be extremely careful with you from then on, and will ensure that you're taking care of yourself, sleeping the right way, and doing anything he can to lessen the strain on your back, which includes stretching your back and holding you through the worst of the pain.

Thomas Hewitt

□ The moment Thomas sees you struggling to get out of bed and making pained noises, he immediately knows what's up. Come on, boy grew up in rural Texas, where back pain is exceedingly common. He immediately goes downstairs to get an ice pack (usually reserved for Charlie) from the freezer and pushes you down on your front and makes it clear that you're not getting up any time soon.

□ He contemplates raiding Charlie or Monty's pain pill stash, but he knows that wont fly, so he asks Luda Mae to do it instead. And once she finds out you've got bad back pain, expect to be doted on by both her and Thomas.

□ On your bad days, if you can even get out of bed, Luda Mae has you on light household chore duty, just to keep you moving. Stagnation, after all, will only make things worse. Charlie will call you a lazy bastard, but it doesn't have the same mallice as usual.

□ And of course at night Thomas will sit there and rub where the worst of the pain is with those giant hands. He will also still want to have sex with you, since Charlie sat him down to give him the dirty on how to help with back pain. And that dirty old man couldn't help but tell him fucking your brains out would do the trick.

□ But he doesn't want to hurt you further, so he is extremely gentle. He has you on your back, several pillows underneath your hips to ensure you're comfortable, and fucks you nice and slow, making sure to jerk you off in time with his thrusts. There are times when Thomas will only chase his own pleasure and worry about you later, but when you back pain is real back, he makes sure it's all about you, and pampers you.

□ He takes the utmost care of cleaning you up, and rolling you onto your front, and cradling you in his arms when the two of you go to bed for the night.

Brahms Heelshire

□ You've had your back issues since before Brahms ever came out of the walls, but you had been ensuring that you were taking your pain pills, stretching, and sleeping right to cope, so he was never the wiser.

□ And even when he revealed himself to you and came out of the walls, he never picked up on how much your back bothered you. He always thought the stretching and pills were because you were a health nut or something. And Brahms is, after all, intensely curious.

□ So when Malcom brings in a fresh pill bottle around the same time your current one is running a little low, he snatches up the new bottle and hides it in his loft. A few days later, he skipped right ahead to sitting at the kitchen table and waiting eagerly for you to come down and make breakfast.

□ But you never do, and Brahms just thinks you overslept, but he's waiting there for an hour before he realises you aren't coming down. And you're being naughty and breaking the rules, and he isn't very happy about that, so he storms upstairs to wrangle you down, but he slows his roll as he gets closer to your room.

□ He hears you crying inside.

□ And he thinks the worst, that someone broke in and hurt you.

□ So he rushes, ready to beat someone up, but all he finds is you laying on your front, crying into your pillow. For a brief, split, second he thinks it's because of him, that you hate him and this is what you do in private because you can't stand him.

□ And he's about to start crying right where he stands, until he sees the empty pill bottle on the nightstand and he puts two and two together. Oh, it was just about your medicine. You were upset about that.

□ When he makes himself known, you're still crying but asking him where your other pill bottle is, that your back hurts so much and you need your medicine to deal with it.

□ Oh Christ! That's what the medicine is for? Without saying anything, he rushes off into the walls at mach speed to grab the bottle from his loft. He apologizes over and over again for inadvertently hurting you like this. He was just curious.

□ He's running all over the house that day trying to make it up to including, including trying to make breakfast for you, which is either going to be tea with slightly too burnt toast with marmite on it, or whatever leftovers he deems appropriate to heat up and serve to you.

□ Once he's settled down, he'll crawl into bed and try to massage your back. It's definitely amature, but it feels good at least, and you make sure to let him know. Once your muscles are all nice and loosened up, he'll roll you onto your back (making sure to cushion you), and slips between your legs.

□ Before you can ask him what he's doing, his mask is already off, and he's suckling on your dick. Christ, you never knew someone could look so shy while sucking dick, but Brahms manages it. If his mouth wasn't full, you know he'd be asking if he was doing a good job, if it felt good. So please be sure to pet his hair and tell him what a good boy he's being, and how he's doing so well.

□ By the time he's gotten you off, he's already cum in his pants, so please stand by while he sneaks off, face red and heavily embarrassed to go change his clothes, before coming back to cuddle with you until you're feeling good enough to get back to tending to him and the house.

□ Honestly if this is what it takes to get Brahms to be a well-behaved and submissive, it might just make up with how much your back hurts. Well, maybe not, because it does hurt pretty bad. But at least it softens the blow.

[bow-woahh]

Catradora 60: things you said when we forgave each other ;n; blease micah mend my heart

Ask and you shall receive! Enjoy (:

———

It hadn’t been easy. To get to where they were after everything. Catra had known that after all the time spent reflecting on Horde Primes ship; all the time talking to Glimmer; all the time spent wallowing in her self pity that it wouldn’t be an easy feat to get back the person she’d so willingly driven away. But she realised she had to try, and when she got off that ship (the one she was so certain at some points she’d never leave) and saw Adora’s face, surprisingly soft and not the stern, stoic image she’d pictured, she’d completely made up her mind.

And try she did. Forgiveness hadn’t been an easy road. It had been a long, bumpy one; rewarding at some points and miserable at others. Though every time she felt her heart breaking that inch more, she also felt some of it mend too. Piece by piece, slowly — day by day.

Now, Catra was here: wrapped up in Adora’s warmth for the first time in too long. Comforted by the rise and fall of her chest, the moonlight pouring in through the windows. It illuminated Adora’s features, made her glow like when she transformed into She-Ra.

Catra bit her cheek at the thought. “Adora?” She lifted herself up, to get a proper look of her.

“Catra?” Adora replied, thumb caressing her cheek as she did so — it was impossible for Catra not to lean into it.

“I know I said it before, but, I’m sorry for…everything.” She said, taking hold of the Adora’s wrist and stroking the inside of it before bringing Adora’s hand down to the mattress.

“Then, you also know, that I’ve forgiven you.” Adora said, voice unwavering as if it was fact (Catra supposed it was).

“And I’ve forgiven you,” Catra whispered, clinging to Adora’s hand as if it was her life line. Ironically enough, it had been at many points in the past couple of months.

Adora shifted up a little, eye level with Catra. “I know it’s not as simple as that, that it will take time to get where we once were — no, better than we were. But I want to do this. I want to be with you.”

Having grown used to covering up her true desires, Catra still found it hard admitting those types of things out loud; much harder than apologising for her heinous actions, and much harder than lying to the faces of those she claimed to care about. She was working on it but–

“Sap,” she let out a small chuckle, and she felt the walls Adora had worked so hard to get past creep back up once more. Willing herself to push down those walls again, and not force Adora to do all the work, she took a breath and forced the words in her mind onto her mouth.

“I want to be with you too. I think…I think I always have, I don’t think I ever really stopped. So, I’m happy to be here with you now, princess.”

Adora’s face beamed as bright as the moonlight shining down on them. She wrapped her arms around Catra’s neck tightly, stunning her slightly, however, it made relaxing in her arms even more gratifying as she melted into her touch, securely in her hold.

“I’m happy to be here with you too,” Adora whispered into her ear.

Tears welled in Catra’s eyes.

It hadn’t been easy at all. Forgiveness hadn’t been an easy road, but once Catra had completed the journey, she finally felt at home.

[snowslasherr]

here's a little something i’m making for all of you because you deserve it ♥️ if you don’t have a valentine you have all of these babies and me as well ♥️ i love you all so much, stay safe and take care of yourselves! i'm sorry if this is too short to be a holiday special :')

i'll add a read more thing later im sorry for clogging up ur dash

Dwight Fairfield

poor boy he'd be so nervous

dwight's really good at keeping track of the days in the fog, so he'd have extra time to prepare

he just wants to make you happy : )!!

he'll nervously tug at your sleeve at the campfire. go along with it and follow him blease

after near 20 minutes of walking in the woods you were about to ask where you're going, but before the words slip out of your mouth you see what he's been leading you to

a couple dark vines are concealing a small space, with a little creek running through the middle. the trees loomed over it, much taller than some of the other trees. crows were settled on some branches but flew away when you stepped in. the whole area was littered with flowers that dwight had planted himself, with the help of claudette. he wanted to make the perfect spot just for you.

"do you like it?"

what a stupid question. of course you like it. smh ❤

theoretically you can both sit there for hours, but trials get in the way. either way, it's perfect. he's perfect.

although he wasn't expecting anything from you it was a pleasant surprise when you whipped out a little gift. you'd gotten meg to help you force convince danny to let her borrow his camera, so she could take pictures of you both. of course, dwight didn't know this

meg was a surprisingly good photographer. the photos weren't blurry and they would make a good gift even in the normal world.

when you gave them to him he teared up and spent the next half hour quickly stuttering out how much he loves and appreciates you : )

Meg Thomas

oh boy

meg is a lil bundle of energy

you'll just be chilling at the campfire, maybe lounging around talking to nancy or jeff, when meg just nyooms in and grabs your hand. you squeak and she just starts zooming away, dragging you along with her.

meg tends to keep her offerings in a secluded place (a hollow tree trunk) because sometimes the other survivors tend to get the offerings mixed up. unfortunately, meg found this specific tree while on a run. she looked like she was having the time of her life, her braids flying behind her. she was fast.

she finally stopped and you could have a well deserved break. but that break was unfortunately cut short, because meg only stopped to pick up a small photo, before she burst back into a run.

when you got back to the campfire, she barely looked phased. you were panting, trying to catch your breath, and she looked relatively calm. she slipped the photo into the fire and then skipped off to the woods with you, to avoid passing out in front of the others.

when you woke up, the both of you were in the ormond resort. the entity had accepted the offer. you didn't even want to ask how she'd gotten the legion to stay out of their realm for you two

neither of you were dressed properly, but like almost everything in the fog, the temperature was fake.

which led to the most obvious situation

snowball fight!

she's so extra with it. she'll build a whole fort while you're pelting her with snowballs, paying no mind to it.

she makes it so big that you could hide in her fort and attack her with snowballs from the inside.

eventually, the girl gets worn out. it takes a while. but she still wants to keep going, so you two make snow angels with connected wings.

after you're both too tired to do anything else, you're pulled back to the campfire, grinning and tired

Claudette Morel

sweet baby. absolute sweetie.

smol lil claudette just pokes you on the arm, gesturing for you to follow her.

of course, you do. don't deny her she's babey

she's taking you down a long homemade path that you've never seen before. maybe because claudette spent hours between trials clearing it out just for this day, and finished it before she came to get you.

Jake Park

he didn't really have big plans for valentines day. dwight reminded him and he kinda just shrugged it off

he probably won't ever have a huge celebration for valentines day, it's not his style. he's a chill guy.

he'll probably sit with you in a clearing near the forest, holding his arm out for the crows to perch on, and showing you how to do that as well

he'll want to just lounge around, comfy day. you wanna get up? nah. comfy day. not today amigo.

consider yourself extremely special if he gives you a bouquet. it's rare, but he might!

the crows will dance around and bob their heads when you cuddle. they don't know what they're doing but let's just say they support your relationship. he totally didn't train them to do that.

he cares, kind of. he knows it's a day to be sappy but again, not really his style. he'll take the opportunity for a bit of affection though.

Nea Karlsson

nea has been planning this for a while, lets say.

every trial that you go in without her is an opportunity! she's been making a detailed mural with the few spray paints she's been allowed by the entity.

she's sure you'll be proud of her. and to top it all off, she finished just in time for valentines day. what a coincidence!

after you get back from a surprisingly laid back trial, you don't get a chance to rest before nea's smiling and telling you to follow her. you complain for a moment, but gave in anyway. you always do

she jumps over a couple logs and puddles, before coming across a couple lone brick walls. they look like nothing at first, but then you walk around to the other side.

nea's smirking as you're in awe, looking at her and then the mural.

"it's beautiful," you whisper, eyes shining. "but not more beautiful than you."

she does a complete double take at the cheesy generic line. she crosses her arms, looking away. but you can see the smile that she was trying to hide. she looked so pretty when she smiled.

Laurie Strode

she'll organize a little something :)

if you can imagine a party room, maybe one similar to one you'd see at a young kids birthday party, that's the kind of thing she'd set up.

it's just a comforting and safe scene, so she thought it'd be best

she collected a lot of offerings for this, please like it : (

she would've baked something but there's no ingredients in the fog besides corn

if you want corn though go for it

it has the vibes of one of those really good cookies from Walmart or something (okay i googled it they're called lofthouse cookies)

in the end she just wants a comfy safe environment,, it's so nice compared to the brutal things that happen in trials

Ace Visconti

do not let this man near flowers or anything of the sort. he'll take a bunch and

so cheesy

he'll take some random thing off the ground that looks cool (like a dandelion or a shiny rock) and say it's a luck charm, and pass it to you.

ace, handing you a flower tied to a funky rock with a piece of grass: happy valentines day :)

he'll set up a whole area beside the campfire for you two and if anyone steps into it he'll kick them out

if he finds a heart shaped rock he'll riot and get nea to spray paint it red. ultimate luck charm. because it's a reminder of him.

Feng Min

small little gamer :)

i'm convinced feng will take you on a romantic trip to taunt killers

myers is tired of it. susie thinks you guys are cute. evan is not having a good time. sally is supporting you. it's chaos

feng is just holding your hand, walking you around the autohaven wreckers. philip is cloaked and is too scared to be hit in the face with a pallet to uncloak.

feng is really short and she's climbing on things to be taller than you, just for the fun of it.

piggy back rides!! she loves piggy back rides. yeehaw

pick her up and carry her around? heart eyes motherfucker

Quentin Smith

aw what a cutie

he forgot about valentines day, but no fear! you didn't

after you guys swim he'll act like he's really tired so that he can rest his head on your lap. you know he's lying cause he keeps silently laughing as if he's a genius sneaky trickster

when you just happily say happy valentines day he's like 😳

he panics

just reassure him it's fine and you did something!

he's still upset about forgetting, but he's quickly distracted by you.

you've found a secluded spot in the woods, the only disturbance being the occasional core popping in to see what's up

you set up a blanket fort. you'd burned quite a few offerings for this. it worked out better than you expected it to, and you were pretty happy with it overall.

you spent as much time there as you could before being pulled into a trial

the time spent together made up for the offerings burned

Kate Denson

both of you set it up together

you stayed at the campfire, nothing crazy

kate played her guitar, and she showed you how to play a song or two (assuming you don't know how to already)

if you want to sing you are welcome to :)

kate will encourage you all the way even if you sound like nails on a chalkboard

she'll make anyone who comments negatively on your voice have a time out. no questions asked. they're older than her? don't care time out.

it's just,, nice and cozy,, and uninterrupted by trials

Jeff Johansen

big cuddly man!

like nea he'll also do something art related!

but it'll still be unique of course

instead of a mural, he'd do a small-ish but still breathtaking painting.

the rest of your day would be spent just chillin. if you're unlucky enough to be ripped into a trial, he'll bring a toolbox to get out as soon as possible. yknow. for more chillin.

Jane Romero

she'd be pretty extra

again, meg would force convince danny to let her use her camera. she'd have a big photoshoot, as best as she can with the limited resources. claudette would set up a scene, and you and jane would pose for the pictures

they turned out really good!

jane keeps them in a secure place and she won't tell you where if you say anything negative about how you looked. not risking it babe!

(phew finally done! i'm super sorry i was a couple survivors short, i didn't wanna burn myself out. if you like it please reblog? i made this in less than 24 hours to surprise you guys. i hope this is a decent special!)

[mirthless-misanthrope]

I’ll Try. (Jotaro Kujo Imagine)

A/N: hooooo boy my first request! sorry, I kinda went nuts. there’s a lotta hurt here, not gonna lie, so I hope that anon is ready for this~

The request was:  Maybe you could write something about a depressed reader that self harms unknown to jotaro but he walks in on them cutting them self or something? Love ur writing :)

Trigger Warnings: Self-harm, depression, anxiety, insecurities, cutting, swearing, jotaro accidentally makes it worse at first, non-sexual body worship

Y’all blease be careful, this is some triggering stuff so i think i’ll do a “Keep Reading” thing for this one.

A message to anyone who reads this: hey. y’know, if you feel this way, and self-harm, or are struggling with depression/anxiety, i know it can be the worst. my DMs are always open, though i’m awkward and might panic. as someone that has a lotta mental issues, i just ask that you don’t send me suicidal messages, since i hate the feeling of having someone’s life on my shoulders. it sends me into panic attacks. i’m sorry. there’s more reliable resources after the imagine. i take this kinda thing... really seriously, sorry ;-;

Sending Jotaro off to his class takes more from me than usual. It’s… turning out to be one of those days. The days that I feel miserable, and out of control. The days that lead to fresh wounds on my legs due to how much I want to have control over at least one thing in my life. Now that I know Jotaro won’t be around until late at night, it doesn’t take long for me to succumb to the feeling of hopelessness that shrouds my mind. It’s stronger than ever today. No matter how hard I try to tell myself to stay away from anything sharp, my body moves on its own and takes me to the bathroom. 

Not too long after I see my razor in the shower, my hands fly out and break it, pulling the blades out and wincing at the cuts they leave on my shaking fingers. It hurts… but I can deal with this pain. It’s nothing compared to the spiraling thoughts in my mind, messing with my will to do anything. So I lightly pull my leggings down to expose my thighs and pick up one of the blades. As if my skin is the canvas and the blade is the paintbrush, I draw lines across the already scarred flesh. Not too deep, but not shallow either. Deep enough to draw blood, but shallow enough that I won’t bleed too much. I have to be cautious, since Jotaro is perceptive and I never want him to find out about… this. Crimson paints over my skin and I feel relieved at the sight. 

… That is, until I hear thudding footsteps and a knock on the bathroom door.

“What the hell are you doing in there?” Jotaro sounds nervous, something I’ve never heard from him before. How the hell does he know…? My stand phases through the door and gives me a pointed look, and I realize she must’ve flown out after him as soon as she realized what I was about to do. Goddamnit, he’s not supposed to know, anyone but him. Before I can move, Star Platinum is breaking down the door and I see the exact moment that the stand before me realizes why I had locked myself away. 

The shock in those godly eyes brings me to tears. 

Purple hands take each blade from me with such precision that they leave the see-through skin unharmed, and I gasp as the hands crush the blades with as much force as a hydraulic press. Blood drips from Jotaro’s hand, but he doesn’t move. He’s frozen, unmoving, expression showing disbelief. “Oraaaa,” my attention turns back to Star as he cries out to me. His fingers brush over each cut on my thighs, so gentle and soft despite the callouses covering his skin. How can a stand so menacing and harsh… also be so caring and mellow at the same time?

“Why.” Jotaro breaks the silence. He’s not asking, he’s demanding an answer from me. I can hear the emotion in his voice despite his glare that he’s shooting at me now. “Why would you do this to yourself. Y-Yare yare…” He finally moves, getting out our first aid kit and kneeling in front of me. “Whatever… Give me your legs. I’m cleaning those.” There’s no room for objection, so I let him pull my still bleeding leg onto his lap.

Dabbing at each cut with a cotton ball dipped in hydrogen peroxide ends up stinging more than I thought it would, but I don’t dare say anything. I’m… terrified. He found out. Now he’s going to leave me. Or maybe he’ll just lecture me? God, I don’t want a lecture. Star must sense my growing anxiety because he wraps his arms around my waist, mumbling oras of affection to soothe my worries. It works for a while, but I’m still tense and shaking with anxiety.

Wet drops splash against my legs, and it takes a few moments for me to figure out they’re coming from Jotaro’s eyes. He’s crying? Tears fall onto my shoulder too, telling me that Star is crying as well. “Ora ora… oraaaa!” Star’s grip tightens as he sobs into my shoulder. I don’t know what I should do in this situation… so I reach behind me and run a hand through his hair, showing off more scars that I’ve been hiding. It’s not intentional, but my light wince at the sight of the scars out in the open alerts Jotaro, his eyes snapping up to observe me. “Your arm… You’ve done this for a while. Yare yare daze, why didn’t you tell me…” He seems saddened for a moment as he stares, but his expression shifts back to the stoic glare I’m used to as he focuses back on the injuries littering my thighs. 

Whining, Star kisses each scar on my arm that he can see. He wants to make it better, but he doesn’t know how… at least, that’s how I read his expression. My stand comes out and pats Star’s shoulder, trying to comfort him for me since my arm is now occupied. I wish I could say something, anything, but all of my words get stuck in my throat and I can’t calm myself enough to let them out. 

Jotaro puts some neosporin on my thighs before wrapping them up with bandages. “You gonna explain why your stand dragged me back home and I found you like this? Why didn’t you say something before I left?” Slight voice cracks interfere with his words, and he does what I’m so used to seeing: he turns his sorrow into anger. “What, are you stupid? What’s the point of doing this to yourself? I know you have depression, but jesus, you didn’t tell me about this.” Despite Star’s sharp ‘ora’, he continues to grunt out sentences filled with anger, managing to hurt me more and more until I can’t take it anymore.

“S-Stop it! I-I-I know it means nothing, but I’m sorry, okay? God, just-just please… please stop hurting me…” By the end of the sentence I’m crying and I must look like an absolute mess, because Jotaro seems to be disgusted by me. Even if Jotaro is angry and disgusted, Star is the complete opposite. It’s well known that Jotaro is terrible with emotions, always giving off different emotions than what he really feels. But Star is my window to his soul: I can tell how Jotaro feels just by interacting with Star, and it’s clear that he’s angry with himself right now. There’s no way he’s angry with me, considering the way Star is still holding me with the lightest of grips possible, but his oras sound pissed. I think if I wasn’t there, he would be punching the shit out of his user…

Instead of an oral response, Jotaro scowls at Star as the stand pulls me away from him. “Star. What the fuck are you doing.” 

“Ora.”

“... Yare yare, yes, she’s in pain, but she did this stupid thing and-”

“Ora!” Star slaps Jotaro as hard as he can. What…?

Silence surrounds us after the harsh impact of the slap. Jotaro had gone flying, and Star has a large handprint on his cheek but he doesn’t seem to care. He takes me elsewhere, leaving Jotaro and laying me down on our bed. “S-S-Star, why did you… do that? You hurt yourself…” His face contorts into a sorrowful expression at my words, and I realize my mistake. “... S-Sorry, I… guess I can’t really say that, huh?” 

“Ora… ora ora.” 

My sweater is being pulled off of me before I can object. Squeaking, I try to curl up into a ball to hide my body from Star’s prying eyes but he pins me down before I can. Sure, I’m not naked since I still have my undergarments on, but… he can see everything. The endless scars all over me, the stretch marks on my sides, the extra fat on my stomach, everything. “Wh-What are you-?!” Flustered, I watch as the purple giant leans down and brushes his lips against every single mark on my skin. Kiss after kiss after kiss and he doesn’t stop, even as I try to push him away. “Star, what are you-?”

Another set of lips joins in and I stiffen. Somehow, Jotaro is here now, and smothering each imperfection with affection. “So this is why you’re afraid of intimacy,” he mumbles against my stomach. “Yare yare. It doesn’t matter if you have all these scars. It just means you’re human.” The words are… weird coming from Jotaro. He’s not one to reassure, especially when it comes to insecurities like this, so the fact that this is happening brings more tears to my eyes. One look from Jotaro and Star disappears, understanding that his user needs a few moments. “I... want to know why you do this. I don’t understand it at all. And I said… rash things earlier. Things that I shouldn’t have said.” He leans back, looking into my eyes, and I see the apology in his eyes. It doesn’t matter to me that the apology stays inside. Just seeing the overwhelming guilt is enough to make me forgive him. “I want to understand. I want to help you…” 

Hours go by as I explain everything to him. Expecting him to interrupt and tell me how dumb it is, I’m surprised by how much he listens. Once I finish explaining, he sighs, moving up to nuzzle his cheek against mine. “Damn. I didn’t know you felt like that… Yare yare, woman, listen to me. I… I know emotions aren’t my strength, but… Next time you feel like that, tell me. Let me in. I understand the why now, so I won’t yell like earlier.” His hands wander up and down my sides, comforting me while also feeling my soft skin. “I’ll tell you as many times as it takes. I love you. I don’t say it much, but I do. You… You’re beautiful,” he looks down at my body, “even with the marks you hate. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” The feeling of his hands coming up my back makes me shudder, snuggling up to him without a word. “... I’ve never seen this much of you. Now that I know… you’d better show me this more often.” I’m assuming he means to show him any new injuries or scars… “I won’t force you to do anything, but-”

“I-I… I’ll try. For you, Jojo.”

~~~~~

here’s a few things to help with self-harm urges:

1-800-DON'T-CUT – More info on self-injury

1-800-273-TALK – A 24-hour crisis hotline if you're about to self-harm or are in an emergency situation.

To Write Love On Her Arms (http://www.TWLOHA.com) - A non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide.

1-800-334-HELP – Self Injury Foundation's 24-hour national crisis line.

for those afraid of phone calls, you can also text “CONNECT” to 741741 and a trained crisis counselor will text with you.

for those who don’t want to bother others and just want to deal with it yourself, there’s an app called Calm Harm. it’s free and helped me a lot!

please everyone, stay alive and well. i believe in all of you. <3

[lemongogo]

i would have loved to see shiro and lance bonding and becoming better friends. not just for bi lance but also bc lance just admires him so much and it would have been so great to hear shiro, lance's hero, tell lance how proud he is of him and how much of an amazing paladin and pilot and guy lance is. i think it would help lance a lot with his insecurities. i would just really love to see more of their friendship, and for some time, after s5, i really thought we would but guess not

me too!! i think it would nicely contrast the first episode (season 1) in which lance hesitates to shake shiro’s hand, because before then he was almost like this “untouchable icon” you know? and to see them grow so much over the seasons and have a point during the series in which the two bond and shiro even lends lance a hand would be MOMENTOUS. it would show just how much the two have been able to work together as a pair and learn from each other but they dont do that? 

voltron seems to really lack when it comes to understanding and conveying character dynamics. in a recent interview, i believe lauren said something along the lines of hunk being the team’s “glue” which is like, cool and in the case of s7, true, but further went to mention that if the team weren’t bound together by circumstance they’d .... hate each other? ok hate is a strong word but she said they wouldn’t like each other? which i think is COMPLETE bullshit imo. the PURPOSE of a series is to bring unlikely characters together who walk out at the end better friends than they could’ve ever imagined. pidge and lance have bonded immensely, hunk and pidge have become best friends, voltron is like keith’s found family, allura is able to goof off with children her age and find support in characters like lance, hunk, and shiro. 

the point being, lm and jds don’t know their characters whatsoever. it makes NO sense to put this ragtag team of teens together and say that they wouldn’t like each other despite everything they’ve been through together. that’s just terrible to hear from a showrunner lol

but to get back to your point ME TOO.,,,,,,, i was so excited when i heard shiro would be helping lance w/ some things in s7 and like. super disappointed when they never followed through. i feel like ever since the kuron ordeal, there has never been closure following the rift created between lance and shiro. i mean, he (kuron) discredited lance MULTIPLE times and made him feel terrible. he even yelled @ lance during that one episode in season 4 i think it was. and. thats not okay. they should’ve patched that up by now. reinstated the fact that Shiro is back and Shiro values lance’s efforts (season 2 escape from beta traz??) despite what kuron might’ve done or said. like you mentioned, it would help with closing up lance’s insecurity arc as well. idk about yall but i feel like they just abandoned that storyline lol almost as if his return to earth “magically solved all of his problems”. like allura, bless her heart, helped him out a lot!! but you could still tell in season 6 that he was conflicted about what he could offer, both for the team and for himself

so lance’s insecurity is still unaddressed imo and shiro helping him out w/ that wouldve meant the world to me. and yeah, i think keaton’s quote about how “shiro sees himself in lance” sparked this flame within me where i craved some sort of platonic relationship between them that we seldom see :-(((

ANYWAYS i went on way longer than i intended to lmao im so sorry. but voltron if youre out there................................ stop being a coward and give lance and shiro proper bonding time blease

tl;dr i 100% agree and im incredibly sad that vld missed out on such a great opportunity. a shiro / lance support scene wouldve moved the plot along significantly imo

[randomoranges]

Amblesia au blease

part 116

Just asSuzette predicted, Constance and Julien were quite excited to see that theiruncle wasn’t cooped up in the basement, Anaïs, on the other hand, was a littlecautious at first, unsure of where to stand around this man she had only seen ahandful of times in her life, but when she noticed that her little sister waspractically glued to his hip and that she was holding on to his hand, shefigured he must be okay and accepted his warm hug; Julien and Constance made ittheir point to update Étienne on everything that had happened to them whilethey were at school and eventually Anaïs related a tale from her day indaycare; Étienne listened attentively and made sure each of the kids had a turnto share, before Jacques reminded his two eldest that it was time for them toget a start on their homework.

There wasmild protesting, but eventually books and workbooks were taken out with littlefanfare, “Are you really going to stay with us, Mononcle Étienne?” Julien askedas he flipped his math book to the correct page – Jacques, who had taken a seatat the kitchen table to help them with their homework shot his son a look, asif he had told them not to bring this up, but Étienne assured his brother itwas fine, “Yeah, for a bit, what do you think about that?” It was clear thatboth Constance and Julien thought it was the coolest thing ever; “Does that mean you’ll be here for my play?!”Julien asked, “What about my dance show – it’s in three weeks,” Constance askedover her brother and Étienne laughed at their antics, “I’ll be there for both,promise, even if I’m not still staying with you guys – wouldn’t want to missthem for the world,” Both of them beamed and Jacques politely reminded themthey had homework to do and that they could pester their uncle after supper, “CanMononcle Étienne help me practice my lines?” Julien asked his father, “Papa isn’tgood at acting,” He said, looking at his uncle, making Étienne laugh, “Sure,Ju, I’ll help, but c’mon, homework first – I can also help with that,” Thatseemed to do the trick for both Constance and Julien got to work.

In the end,after homework, line practice and supper, it was bath time for the youngest ofthe Maisonneuve children and Lucie demanded that Étienne help her with herbath, much to both Suzette and Jacque’s amusement, “You sure you’re okay withgiving her a bath?” Jacques asked him, as he brought a chair for Étienne to siton in the washroom, “Oh ye of little faith,” Étienne started, “I might be outof practice, but I’ve given all your children baths – it’s a rite of passage,”He joked and Jacques rolled his eyes, but was glad to see that his brother wasn’tas gloomy as he had been these past few days.

Of course,after bath time, Lucie requested that Étienne read her a bedtime story as welland she picked the book from earlier that day that Étienne was more than happyto read from, with Jacques and Suzette’s help with the voices; they readthrough the next chapter, before Lucie was asleep and after tucking her in andkissing her good night, Étienne followed his brother back to the living room, “It’sgood to see you out of the basement,” Jacques started as they sat on the sofa, “It’sgood to have you around again,” Étienne shrugged, “I know you said you didn’twant anyone else knowing that you’re staying with us, but Mom and Dad arestarting to worry…” Jacques said cautiously, not wanting to upset Étienne,who frowned at the news, “I didn’t tell them anything, just that I know you’reokay, but… you know how Mom gets,” And at that Étienne sighed, he did know –knew how their mother worried even if they had the smallest of colds, “And youknow how we usually have dinner with them once a week, or how sometimes theycome over…” Étienne was starting to see where his brother was trying to getto, “I’m not saying you have to see them, or anything, but I don’t want them toworry either…”

——-

PREVIOUS: CXV

CURRENT: CXVI

NEXT: CXVII

[shallxt]

Mun tag meme

RULES: tag ten followers you want to know better!

NAME: Sydney or “Syd”

STAR SIGN: Aquarius

HEIGHT: 5′3′’

WHAT’S YOUR MIDDLE NAME? Ilyse

PUT YOUR ITUNES ON SHUFFLE. WHAT ARE THE FIRST 6 SONGS THAT POPPED UP?

I don’t use iTunes anymore or even Spotify I just use Youtube

1. Gold Rush - Death Cab for Cutie

2. How Far I’ll Go - Moana OST

3. Pull my Devil Trigger- DMC 5 OST

4. HERO - FLOW

5. Mr. Brightside - The Killers

6. Death of a Bachelor - Panic! At the Disco

GRAB THE BOOK NEAREST YOU AND TURN TO PAGE 23. WHAT’S LINE 17?

I don’t fuckkin read lol

EVER HAD A POEM OR SONG WRITTEN ABOUT YOU? No but sometimes I think about Hungry-Mungry by Shel Silverstein and it fucks me up because the dude vored himself

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PLAYED AN INSTRUMENT? i tried to play the flute in middle school but I dropped out because it was hard

WHO IS YOUR CELEBRITY CRUSH? Jason Mamoa atm because I want him to fuckin wreck me poseidon

WHAT’S A SOUND YOU HATE & LOVE?

HATE: The squishy licky sounds my dog makes when she lICKS HERSELF

LOVE: The sound of rain on a dark cloud day ;;;

DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? Sort of? A monarch butterfly always follows me and I think that’s my grandma watching me. Not really but if ghosts are there holla at me danny phantom

HOW ABOUT ALIENS? blease make saiyans real

DO YOU DRIVE? Yup.

IF SO, HAVE YOU EVER CRASHED? Nope.

WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? American Gods by Neil Gaiman

DO YOU LIKE THE SMELL OF GASOLINE? Not really? 

WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU SAW?  Antman and the Wasp (it was okay)

WHAT’S THE WORST INJURY YOU’VE EVER HAD? I broke my ankle the summer after my graduation. I was supposed to be staying over my mom’s friend’s house while she and my step-dad were moving, then she told me to leave cuz she was having a man over or whatever, this friend’s also an alchoholic. While I was carrying my luggage I tripped over my flip-flops on her STEEP BRICK FRONT STEPS WITH NO RAILING OR ANYTHING and broke my ankle clean (it flopped over ick) and I was crying for help. My mom’s friend starts shrieking at me cuz she’s smashed as fuck in the middle of the day, calls her daughter, threatens to shoot me and call the police for breaking in (i was invited over) and I had to call my parents themselves. They called the cops, we didn’t press charges and I got screws and stuff now.

DO YOU HAVE ANY OBSESSIONS RIGHT NOW?  Dragon Ball......it always brings me back to Dragon Ball...fuckers...

DO YOU TEND TO HOLD GRUDGES AGAINST PEOPLE WHO HAVE DONE YOU WRONG? I rarely hold grudges. Unless ur a massive fucker that doesn’t fuckin learn from their mistakes then I got no patience to deal with ya. 

IN A RELATIONSHIP? ....Yeah......lol

Tagged by everyone jesus christ

Tagging all of u fuckers

[woozi]

twt being no.1 on updates, true that <3

not jaebeom speaking abt the mark, hui, btob youngjae fight on youngk's radio show at the time i was typing away abt temper 😭 dhdjdkkdks it's so funny whenever these guys meet someone has to mention abt it and then everyone starts talking. it's like that one story in your friend group you all just can't let go of and some might be like ' how long are you gonna talk abt it?' & next thing you know they're also talking about it at some other time djdjsksk. (but also not him saying he hugged mk to stop him 😔🥺 this was new info to me) i get what you're trying to say hdjdke <33.

oh no alexa pls play you can't sit with us by sunmi. sorry jaebs you are not allowed in our club anymore </3 dhdjdk. RIGHT?? need some silly things to hang on to, to make life interesting jdjdkdkd. naur <///3 i love yugs' smile and laugh sm. i like calling him, chan and seungkwan(even tho sometimes this one makes me want to fight him) ' babu ' (it's a cute term of endearment in my language djjdd idk how to describe it in eng it's something btwn bub and cutie but tbh comparing it to these two makes it a lil bland djdjdk also i feel like sharing this will give away my identity bc i use these a lot in tags 😭😭 also idk if you got the notif but i accidentally liked & then unliked last ask jdjdkd) anyway all 3 of them make me very happy 🥺.

im starting to l*ve u and ur taste too 😿💗. i'll be honest i don't know which bsides have choreo from old albums ( i only know of current ones bc i was there during cbs djdjk 😭) unless someone tells me abt it, i haven't seen it yet but that's what i'm gonna do after sending this. also samee i dont wanna get my hopes up but since jus2 are basically from same agency i am also looking forward to them being in one track in future.

gotsvt chef's kiss 💖. i think ppl just start naming songs they personally dislike, flop these days djjdke. maybe it's just younger ones or just those who listen to title tracks only. there used to be this one song i listened to, of jamie, it was also a feature can't remember name of it, but other than that i haven't listened to her discography much :3. tasteee it's a banger! on the rocks makes me want to miss my non existent s/o djekdkdl. the lyrics </3 the vibe </3. i think drive you home comes close to it for me. after on the rocks that's another one i love with capital L.

dhdjkdjdek that's okay i tend to repeat same phrases too, and trueeeee live performances hit differently.

it's funny how you say i'm keeping up w g7 bc i have no idea where jackson is or what he is doing and until his 2nd bday live i thought mark was in china but then got to know he was in hawaii 😭 i've given up on keeping track what they're doing off stage/irl unless i get update via ig stories through them. keeping up what their releases is still somewhat easy so i'm just doing that. ( i had no idea jaebs was gonna be on eric nam interview but finally today i got the chance to watch it 🥺💚) also!! yes i had didn't know what or how bam's agency is like but everything abt bam's cb i was content with and loved it, i'm impressed.

omg you're chan's age??? i'm a 97 kid :3 and yeah same that's what i thought too, couldn't really find any answer as to why he wasn't :/.

also no worries abt playlist jdjddk i'll slowly start listening to their discography here and there. BUT ALSO i saw there is slchld on the playlist you linked, I LOVE THEIR SONGS OMG. NO IDEA WHO THEY ARE BUT I LOVE LOVE LISTENING TO THEIR SONGS, yerin baek too!! after woozi's cover i started listening to some of her songs <333 also kehlani 💖 i love her voice. thank you for sending in just that too <3

also did you notice seungkwan's ball which got stuck om roof, is still there in same place in 4th ep of in the soop djsjskslsl 😭 i found that so funny for some reason. no one bothered to bring it down.

i hope this week is being kinder to you since last weekend was one rough (else i'm fighting it), stay hydrated <3 yza 💗 goodluck w uni - 🪂

WAIT HE DID????????????? I DIDNT GET TO WATCH THE THING THATS SO FUNNY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

literally how many times have they talked abt this... AND EXACTLY FDJKFJDKFD it's the predebut fight bond for me <3 ok but i can see jaebs hugging mark so he won't beat the living shit out of the other boys that is So Him 😭

YOU LISTEN TO SUNMI... EVERYDAY U GET SEXIER.. WHAT THE HEAL.. it's like that w astrology to me too KJKJDFKJFDKJ i would also fight seungkwan no hesitation tbh it'd end up w me headlocking him im just so sure of it <3 OHHH I THINK IM FAMILIAR W UR NATIVE LANGUAGE THEN??? filo???? im not so sure though fdkjfdjkf and no u don't have to worry abt that i don't check my notifs anymore JKFKJJKDFKJ i just check mentions replies and asks <3 i know i'm missing a lot by doing so but it just takes up too much time for me now :/ and i will pretend to not know even though i have def seen those tags KJFKJDJKFDKJFD

dw i don't know most of them either KJFJKJFDD i just come across things!! i don't even know A Lot of things abt the groups i liked ever since i came back from my kpop hiatus jkfdkjdf i dont feel like i need to know Everything anymore just to like things lol 😭 im hanging on to this frail hope... jus2.. BLEASE....

ik :/ and there's no reasonable.. idk guideline anymore for "successful" songs which is also weird to me.. i think thats bc of streaming and shit :/ JAMIE IS SOOOO GOOOD!! i knew her from her reality competition days and when she eventually debuted in 15&. jype fucking sucks though she could've been v big now :/ the vocal chords on that woman.. incredible. <3 JDSKJDSJ WITH A CAPITAL L!!!! jacks' latest songs are always abt heartache what is he going thru 😭 how did u feel abt LMLY?

i know like.. only 13 words max nowadays so 😭

i think jacks is just always busy so we both cant keep up with him 😭 AND MARK IS IN HAWAII?????????? I THOUGHT HE WAS IN LA WTF 😭 i actually am not keeping up w them as much as i used to i just still have a lot of g7 moots and i follow update blogs so JKFJKDKJFD i still love the boys sm though it's just that im becoming a svtpoppie now 😭😭😭

yes i am <3 he's just a few months older than me!! ALSO WAIT we're the same age as g7 and svt's maknae lines 👁️👄👁️

HELL YEA!!!!!!!!!!!! i actually don't know who they are either i just listen to them too fdjkfjkkjfd lately spotify's doing most of the work for me <3 ALSO U KNOW ABT JIHOON'S COVER... UR SO- ok we're besties 4 life now <3 CAN I JUST SAY... WHAT THE HELL IS UP W JIHOON.. DOING IT IN THE ORIGINAL KEY.. HE HAD NO BUSINESS SHOWING OFF LIKE THAT OK UR TALENTED N IM A LITTLE IN L*VE W U WE GET IT 😭😭😭

AND NO DFKJFDKJJKFDFDKJDF WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY TO ME 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HOW DID U EVEN NOTICE!!! NOW IM GONNA HAVE TO LOOK FOR CLIPS OF IT JKFDFJKDFD 😭 they're truly relaxing they cant even be bothered lmaoooo

looks like it'll be much better!! i'm kind of excited for uni ngl <3 i hope everything's well w u as well and that all ur endeavors are bussin <3 u stay hydrated too and get lots of sleep!! <3

[lucozdes-blog]

finally !! here’s the intro guides to my children !! blease....plot with me. 

(lee taeyong, he/him, bisexual)  HEY, ISN'T THAT  [KIM JEONGMIN]? YEAH, THE [TWENTY-THREE] YEAR OLD [CISMALE] FROM [SOUTH KOREA]! YEAH, I HEARD THEY'RE THE [FASHION DESIGN] STUDENT AT THE UNIVERSITY OF AMSTERDAM  NOW! LET'S HOPE THEIR STAY HERE IS AN ADVENTUROUS ONE! (dani, twenty, she/her, pst)

jeongmin is a fashionista, from designing original pieces to styling. 

his current aesthetic: goth street looks. think seoul fashion week. 

he loves nothing more than styling his friends or anyone who asks for help; he works within your budget and closet. he knows how and where to find deals and just overall very resourceful. 

he’s all for the environment too, the studio is filled with a variety of recyclable bin from plastic to old garments. 

he works as a part time visual for a retail store, it’s only a couple hours three mornings a week when he doesn’t have class, it’s good to have some sort of income. plus they pay him well considering his major and eye for new campaigns. 

he’s the guy with a variety of hook up numbers on his phone, never by name but with an emoji and number next to it. he’s a hoe (no jk i love him) and finds validation with the amount of people he sleeps with honestly it’s sad i don’t think he’s ever been in a genuine relationship. it’s just angst n heartbreak so he’d rather just sleep with ppl. 

anyways, his goal? design for the met gala and BE IN the met gala to show all those celebrities how it’s TRULY done. 

hic current look: taeyong in the chain mv. 

(nam joohyuk, he/him, bisexual)  HEY, ISN'T THAT  [MOON HANJAE]? YEAH, THE [TWENTY-FOUR] YEAR OLD [CISMALE] FROM [SOUTH KOREA]! YEAH, I HEARD THEY'RE THE [PERFORMANCE] STUDENT AT THE UNIVERSITY OF AMSTERDAM  NOW! LET'S HOPE THEIR STAY HERE IS AN ADVENTUROUS ONE! (dani, twenty, she/her, pst)

my son whomst i BIRTHED 

part of the fuccboi squad...SHOUT OUT..shout out..aahhhh..was popping ooooo

he’s obnoxious and loud and dramatic and YET people love him thank you very much. doesn’t know when to stop honestly someone kick his ass. 

he’s been to school everywhere, studying abroad for high school, doing a year in england, a year at julliard and finally amsterdam, i’m just going to say he’s been here for 3 years and he’s going to graduate next semester. 

he’s a performance/composition major and the LEAD of the orchestra because he’s just that talented that vivaldi is shaking in his grave. a prodigy if you will because it’s not the only instrument he can play but his favorite. 

he comes from a home of socialites back in busan, his family dabbles in the arts. his family also decided his fate: arranged marriage. it’s a secret though, only haebin and haneul know about it. 

cue why he’s part of the squad, he went through people so fast, indulging himself in variety knowing that after he graduates he’ll be tied down and he hates the very idea of it. which is why he’s an ass and wont accept that he maybe really likes misun more than a hook-up, also the reason why he’s BEEN OUT OF THE GAME that the lads are noticing lmao 

anyways he’s a disaster but he loves his friends so much he just wants to Protecc

(kwon jiyong, he/him, bisexual)  HEY, ISN'T THAT [AHN DAEHYUN], THE [TWENTY-FIVE] YEAR OLD [CISMALE] FROM [SOUTH KOREA]? YEAH, I HEARD THEY'RE THE [ENT. BUSINESS] STUDENT AT THE UNIVERSITY OF AMSTERDAM  NOW! LET'S HOPE THEIR STAY HERE IS AN ADVENTUROUS ONE! (dani, 20, she/her, pst)

he is the mom friend probably idk he’s always dd when the lads go out and does a run down of who’s where and if they’re ok before calling it a night when they go out 

he doesn’t party often, it’s honestly rare for him to go ALL OUT unless he knows he can handle it and he’s with minji who knows about his chronic fatigue syndrome 

it’s back and forth, getting rest doesn’t help him at all and so he’s taken up dancing as a hobby again, just one class where he can a good amount of exercise without stressing himself too much when he has too much on his plate

he’s all good now though, it’s part of him but it wasn’t as bad as when he used to be a trainee; daehyun was gonna become an idol if it weren’t for his health issues.

he moved to cali for a while to go to school there and check out an american industry but decided that entertainment business might be better for him, less stressful and he gets to manage and help people who wish to be part of it. 

anyways he sounds like a monotone dad when he texts but in person he’s more into conversations, a good time, and he really loves the lads. 

he’s also lowkey dating taemin’s sister but no one knows that lol.

(kim minseok, he/him, homosexual)  HEY, ISN'T THAT [CHOI JISOO], THE [TWENTY-THREE] YEAR OLD [CISMALE] FROM [THE US]? YEAH, I HEARD THEY'RE THE [PERFORMANCE] STUDENT AT THE UNIVERSITY OF AMSTERDAM  NOW! LET'S HOPE THEIR STAY HERE IS AN ADVENTUROUS ONE! (dani, 20, she/her, pst)

BOY, JISOO PROBABLY IS MY ONLY CHAR WITH A WILDT BACKGROUND

he’s from san francisco, ca. comes from a wealthy family, his dad was the ceo and founder of a large company ( dont ask me abt what yet tbh i’m thinking about it ); however the company only became big because they launder money. maybe deal with extortion but you know. 

jisoo had it all though, he had the luxuries, he had the city, the parties, everything. only child, he was next in line to take over and actually? he didn’t mind at all if he kept living the way he was, and bonus points? his dad didn’t give a fuck about his sexuality. it was a dream. 

until his crazy ass mom destroyed everything. she killed his dad but was found innocent in court because she bought the judge, and the jury? all hired by her. he was in that very courtroom when she was found innocent and before he knew it, he was being dragged out by his dad’s old lawyer and best friend. he needed to get out of there fast. 

jisoo is the only one who’s allowed to touch his inheritance, his dad made it very clear that everything was to go to him. his mother still had a joint account and she still has enough to live off until she’s dying from old age but her new boy toy, 10 years younger than her kinda wants the company. 

jisoo knows his mom killed his dad, he doesn’t have the evidence but he’s going to bring her down through the law or without the law because she took everything from him and he’s still reeling over it, he still has nightmares of finding his dad’s body. 

and also, choi jisoo is an alias. no one knows his real name. (lol not even me, i’ll get back to you on that). 

he’s in witness protection right now, undercover as a student from florida. he figured he might as well take some fun classes aka acting, dance, and studio arts. he doesn’t care for it knowing his life is set out but might as well. 

(kim namjoon, he/him, bisexual)  HEY, ISN'T THAT  [ZANDER YU]? YEAH, THE [TWENTY-FOUR] YEAR OLD [CISMALE] FROM [THE US]! YEAH, I HEARD THEY'RE THE [PHOTOGRAPHY] STUDENT AT THE UNIVERSITY OF AMSTERDAM  NOW! LET'S HOPE THEIR STAY HERE IS AN ADVENTUROUS ONE! (dani, 20, she/her, pst)

well, well, well if it isn’t the jack kerouac wanna-be. jk. he’s really not a bad person. maybe.

zander is a photographer, never staying in one place too long. he actually just arrived from mexico city and amsterdam is going to be the place he finishes his second degree. 

he’s basically that indie boy from all the coming-of-age films, an enigma if you will. simply because they way he presents himself is charming, fun, friendly. he’s the type of guy you get a crush on just because of how attentive he is, how he makes you feel so interesting, how he looks at you and touches you. and he knows it. 

he can read people’s emotions, he knows exactly how someone will feel before they feel it simply because of logic and tactic. 

he’s incredibly smart, pretentious even but that’s part of the charm. he talks about music, books, movies. his travels. he makes people fall for him because it’s fun, it sends a rush through him knowing someone is willing to do anything for him and then...he’s gone. because he can’t do the same for you, he doesn’t feel anything for anyone. he likes the concept of being with someone, idolizing them and then leaving them and he does it in a way that you can’t really point your finger at him and blame him. 

he’s really good at pretending to be someone he’s not tbh. like i want to emphasize that because i want to play him in a way that you really fall for it you know. anyways YEAH. 

(josefine frida pettersen, she/her, pansexual)  HEY, ISN'T THAT  [LEONIE SCHÄFER]? YEAH, THE [TWENTY-ONE] YEAR OLD [CISFEMALE] FROM [GERMANY]! YEAH, I HEARD THEY'RE THE [SOCIOLOGY] STUDENT AT THE UNIVERSITY OF AMSTERDAM  NOW! LET'S HOPE THEIR STAY HERE IS AN ADVENTUROUS ONE! (dani, twenty, she/her, pst)

remember what i said abt a drunk josefine fc who ends up ranting abt how toxic capitalism is and why communism isn’t the answer like all those tumblr folk like to say? WELL HERE SHE IS 

she’s not a drunk lmao but if she’s at family dinners with the conservative side of her family, she GOES OFF she probably wouldnt go off at parties here unless she bumped into some asshole who wanted to mansplain something to her or whatever 

she’s no poli-sci major, she takes a class but it’s only for her to get educated and accumulate more knowledge to back her up in her actual major and just to be prepared for arguments 

i hate to say this bc wow cliche ! but....definitely noora vibes akhkjh i’m SORRY 

she really enjoys going to the weed cafes though, catch her in there with a book just enjoying her free time 

she has an accent !! considering english is her third language and french is secondl german obviously being the first. it’s cute rlly i was watching accent videos akljdhfj

still shes fluent in all three because it’s leonie why not 

her aesthetic would probably be better described by donna tartt but i’ll give it a go: cigarettes in her own special metallic case, long coats, boots, very formal/casual, billie holiday records, period drama movies as well as empowering movies, beige/dark browns and black, the smell of coffee beans, aesthetic instagram 

anyways uhh idk what else to add tbh if i think of anything i’ll mention it in the hc server on discord aklsjhdk

[keezree]

wizardmon domestic headcannons because I dunno if anyone else loves him in the way I do but i keep thinking about life with him and i i also don’t know how to do a read more so im sorry for long ass post - He cooks meals for you most evenings because you come home from work tired and he wants you to relax after such a strenuous day. -he will insist you needn’t cook for him but when you do he really appreciates it and will want to pay you back for it in some way but you won’t let him because he deserves it and he just gets embarrassed and sorta feels bad about you doing things for him but hes always doing things for you so shut up wizz i love you - holding HIS HAND -his hat and cloak hung up on an old fashioned hat rack in the corner of your room you got for him, he only ever take them off when you two are alone together or at home alone. - if you have cats they always sit on his lap when he is reading - books! - books and scrolls everywhere, hes studying and teaches you charms from time to time. also candles!!! -he gives you a safety or protection charm/amulet/ring he enchanted to keep you safe if ever he reads that something bad happened on the news in the world today - he teases you lightly, nothing that would upset you but just like, if you try to grow plants and brag about a green thumb and then all your plants die “a green thumb eh? heh heh. you’ll have to teach me your skills. I’ve never seen an african violet wilt so fast.” -he will sometimes walk you to work or meet up with you at work when your shift is over “What? No, don’t be foolish, I wan’t worried I just happened to be in the area. I needed a break from my studies.” He would be flustered and of course he would be there on purpose.  -you come home one night from a stargazing date when it started pissing down rain, you both got soaked but he insisted that you have a shower to warm up and get clean first. He subsequently gets sick or a chill and you tease him as you make him some corn soup/ corn potage (his favourite soup) to warm him up -he likes tea and is pleasantly surprised when you have a large stash of teas. You either bought a bunch because your’e a tea hoarder or you bought a bunch and they weren’t to your taste however he always has a warm cup. -he dislikes coffee but will go with you to cafes or coffee shops early in the morning on your walks to watch the sun rise. -he always has interesting theories on magic and different types of spells and how humans have  different sort of magic within them than digimon and how humans can’t really see it as well as digimon can but he’s observed humans for quite some time now and in comparison to the magic he knows versus the magic that most human witches and wizards know is similar in this way and different in that way and this can go on for hours but you can’t help but listen as this cute wizard fellow goes on at length about his ideas and discoveries -he brings you fresh flowers all the time, sometimes he buys them from a shop but most of the time he gathers them as he’s out looking for herbs and observing nature when he goes on walks -”Hey! Y/N Look at this stone I found outside, I believe it contains a chunk of corundum! That’s a stone that can be cut into either ruby or sapphire, it reminded me of you. It is sleeping potential, a diamond in the rough so to speak. I want to give it to you in hopes that it’s potential to be so many things inspires you.  -he’s shy and isn’t sure how to show his love sometimes and so hell show you things like flowers or stones he has found that he thought was beautiful and “This flower suits you.” “ I heard this lovely song on the radio and I wanted to share it with you, I think you may like it.” (it’s totally a sappy romantic song about undying love and forever promises) you also watch romantic movies together and he will totally quote some of the lines to you and it might be dorky but he means it completely truthfully and he just is so cute -he writes you cute little letters and love notes because he can’t say it to your face HHHHHHHHH -” I’ve seen beautiful rings of gold and emerald, rare and precious stones that should adorn a kings crown, however, of all the greatest treasures that exist in the world, the most precious treasure I have seen sits at the table in the mornings with a cup of coffee, smiling at me and saying good morning.” - if ever you got married THE RING WOULD BE A SILVER ON E WITH A MOONSTONE IN THE SHAPE OF A CRESCENT MOON AND  -you’d cuddle a lot. He’d want to be close to you all the time and wouldn’t want to seem too clingy and so he’d make an excuse like, “The lighting in this room is perfect for reading, may I sit with you?” “Wizz, it’s really dark in here though.” “Oh, no I think its just fine.” He spends the rest of the evening squinting at the same page for hours trying to read in the dark, or at least he does until you light  a candle for him. -his stitched kisses! the feeling of his stitches against your lips. You’d have to be the first to kiss him because hes a shy mon. His kisses are short and sweet at first. shy little pecks but then you give him a more sensual kiss and he’s like “ I think I’m having a spiritual experience right now.”  I have so many more but thats all for now and I need coffeee If you have any headcannons about wizardmon as a boyfriend/husband/etc. or even just in a domestic setting BLEASE TELL ME I NEED IT TO LIVE.

[disableddisaster]

Do all of them ! Blease !!! I Stan u so hard I need the insider deets!!!!!

now THATS what i like to hear :))

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

asfgsfdg im only listening to after laughter rn

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

@gaysun but thats happening so idk. come to alberta tristan

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

theres not a single book in this room and im not leaving to go look for one

4: What do you think about most?

sfgafdgasfg idk myself, probably

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

”he drank ur orange juice the fuck” - you

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

just my underwear

7: What’s your strangest talent?

im gay

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls are good boys are bad (noah fence i love u)

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

yes actually :’)

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

man idk

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

FUCKIGN black BEETLES

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

i dont think so? kleenex?

13: What’s your religion?

man idk !!!!

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

walking to work or looking for dogs

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

in front im a vain bxtch

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

patd.............................................

17: What was the last lie you told?

i know i lied to my mom the other day but i told the truth five minutes later and i dont know what i lied abt

18: Do you believe in karma?

no lol

19: What does your URL mean?

bella swan is a big ass lesbian

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

dude i dont fucking KNOW who am i!!!!!!

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

kristen stewart.. . hayley williams..... shrugs

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

no i dont want any BUGS crawlin around in there.there was an episode of greys anatomy when that happened

23: How do you vent your anger?

i yell to my mom tbh

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

MUGS

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

video chatting is so fun

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

NO LOL

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

sound i hate: paper towels 

sound i love: rain i guess

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

what IF I fail at life completely wow

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

YES AND YES

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

right, my computer. left, my cup!

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

man idk AIR??????

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

high school

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

CANADIAN west coast

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

hmmmm bad question\

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

AUGHFGKDF not to be dramatic but there isnt one

36: Define Art.

dude i dont know. why is this so fake deep

37: Do you believe in luck?

NO !!!!!

38: What’s the weather like right now?

its dark out  and im inside!!! i dont know!! i think its warm

39: What time is it?

12:25am :O

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

yes! and no

41: What was the last book you read?

eclipse..................sdfghsdghsdfgsfg

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

..............................who does......

43: Do you have any nicknames?

shy!!!!!!!!!!!

44: What was the last film you saw?

dgsfsdfg new moon!!!!!!

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

i dont know!!!!!!!!! i injure myself a lot im clumsy

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

no!!!!!!!!!!! let them be free.

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

twilight, dragon quest 8, paramores new album,.

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

TAKE A WILD FUCKign GUESS

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

YES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA it was awful

50: Do you believe in magic?

.......................no

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

YES LOL

52: What is your astrological sign?

im a libra :^)

53: Do you save money or spend it?

i cant fuckign save money for shit

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

a grande coconut cold brew coffee with extra coconut milk :O

55: Love or lust?

what dpes this mean.

56: In a relationship?

no!

57: How many relationships have you had?

3

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

fun fact i have a really really short tongue

59: Where were you yesterday?

went to the bank in the city and the MALL and ate a sandwich

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

no :(:(:(

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

SOCKS ARE GARBAGE

62: What’s your favourite animal?

CATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and sheep and giraffes. mostly cats

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

fgkdfgosfkg u think i have a secret weapon???????? bxtch i dont even like me!!!!

64: Where is your best friend?

i texted her and asked her one sec. ok she replied “im in my bed!!!!!”

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

@gaysun @gaysun @hurricance @hurricance @popcornlesbians :)

66: What is your heritage?

idk! im ukrainian and french

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

playing dragon quest and listening to @quidditchlesbian s wild stories

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

this is so werid asgafdgadsf

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

duh

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

i mean probably. im kind of annoying tho

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

sfgadfgadsf save the dog im not HEARTLESS my job gives me no hours anyways lol

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) probably bc i overshare b) probably just pet my cats c) sort of?

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

TRUST

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

..................someBODY

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

2980

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

trust and communication also i think attraction is important tbh

77: How can I win your heart?

be a cute girl and be nice to me. maybe have a cute animal or smth

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

MMMMMMMMMM ABLEISM

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

gay

80: What size shoes do you wear?

5? 6?

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

”gay bxtch”

82: What is your favourite word?

LESBIAN

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

i wish i was on my phone id add the yellow heart emoji

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

”wow id die for u”

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

earlier i was listening to live in chicago

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

yellow adn PINK

87: What is your current desktop picture?

its a pic of bella swan

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

theoretically like donald trump but probably my abuser :)

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

bxtch u could ask me literally anything and id tell u. literally aything

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

go back to sleep. plot twist im actually just having a sleep paralysis episode

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

the vegetables are mushrooms and ALSO iwanna teleport or fly

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

the other morning i had a really relaxing breakfast at tim hortons i just listened to music and ate my bagel. it was nice

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

JSDFKJSFG u think i can choose? ur FUNNY!! 

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

oh,,.. .my fucign god. tjis is such a loaded question,. HAYLEY WILLIAMS

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

JENNA (or nyc but shes not there rn so probably just wherever she is!)

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

i think my bio dad was in jail once. maybe

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

no ew throwing up is a huge fear of mine

98: Ever been on a plane?

yep i love planes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

“im gay”

THANKS TRISTAN

[khyunah]

blease forgive me

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.