#also fixed the lighting issue
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“Who are you, I wonder… Puppet? Or a human?” - GIF Ver.
#ngl i feel dumb for not doing this as a gif#my brain was small but now it is bigger#also fixed the lighting issue#photo looked fine on tablet but wayyyyy too dark on phone#geppetos puppet#p#lies of p fanart#mochi draws#talking about what changes i applied made me feel like a tech person#giving out a written list of what changed in the latest software update-#lies of p
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There is a big difference between the idea Curly thought he could fix Jimmy vs Curly thought he could handle him and whatever he could possibly have going on at any given moment.
Curly as a person thinks he can fix or alleviate circumstances. That he can make things slightly better and more bearable. It gets conflated with his view of people which is distinctively something he views as being handled. He doesn’t really try to fix Jimmy so much more put himself around him as a sort of handler in lieu of an outlet. He can handle any outburst or criticism from Jimmy. He knows how he responds. He can handle it but he can’t fix it. Doesn’t try to fix the stemming issue with people but the situation they are in so it doesn’t make matters worse.
The issue is he can’t fix those situations cause they aren’t things he can handle. The source is not something he can handle even if he believes he could. The word fix and handle are not used interchangeably in the story but swapped. Curly doesn’t attempt to fix things, but handle them, in the absence of someone who would/could otherwise.
It’s a semantics if the difference of these words matter in wake of the actually effect but it does change perspective.
#I think it’s important to due away with the idea curly wanted to fix Jimmy more so handle the situation he created by assaulting Anya#cause fixing Jimmy implies making him better or feel remorse when he truly was just trying to mitigate the damage#his friends caused in light of realizing how bad of a person he could become just because curly also does show the ability to doubt Jimmy#and focus on his own goals outside of him fixing Jimmy is not a priority but having Jimmy know he’s always in his side was#which is a big factor that stopped him from actually addressing the issue because he believed it was up to Jimmy to try#and being proud is not the concept of#believing fixing Jimmy is going well but more so that he is pleased his friend is doing well and handling#a person can be conflated to cover or fix but I lean more towards unintentional covering#and not holding accountable because he never intended to fix Jimmy he even expected Jimmy to fail or not thrive here so idk it’s putting#another fault on Jimmy’s inability to genuinely try on curly hence the idea of blame guilt and fault being muddied for some people like he#just believed in his friend too much and his other friend not enough#mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing
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feeling very green and yellow light in this dungeon tonight
angústia, florbela espanca (translated by me)
interview with the vampire, s02e05: "don't be afraid, just start the tape"
i lock you in an american sonnet that is part prison, terrance hayes
island of the sequined love nun, christopher moore
beautiful short loser, ocean vuong
kinnporsche, s01e11
red doc>, anne carson
#interview with the vampire#iwtv#kinnporche the series#web weaving#armand iwtv#daniel molloy#vegas theerapanyakul#pete saengtham#devil's minion#armandaniel#armandiel#vegaspete#okay onto the fun tags#i looked at armand fixing daniel's wound with that lighting and my brain made a u turn#fully screeching at me to do something#no special meaning to this i just like to see powerful people facing the consequences of violence on someone under them#either through a physical disadvantage (daniel my beloved) or through a social dynamic (darling pete)#their relationships are pretty different but these scenes have me dropping my heart all over the place#what is it with disturbed men with daddy issues and locking up puppy eyed men#darlings you need to relax maybe take them out on a date first#also the entire poem by florbela espanca is just... so armand#that isn't the full translation but i probably won't post it unless i find other poems to translate that i can connect to them#alright rant over hope y'all like it#armand the beloved <3#daniel the beloved <3#seven.
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Hey y'all! A word of advice about going to a new doctor (this is US-based, but I think might be applicable to more than just that): If they do not ask you for your medical history, that is not a good sign
#the person behind the yarn#medical mention#I went to a neurologist and they did not ask ANYTHING about my medical history#except about my migraines and muscle spams#I means spasms but muscle spams is funnier so I'm leaving it#but like...I have two different 'does salt wrong' disorders#it is extremely implausible that my muscle spasms are NOT related to my Need More Salt disease#but they did not ask about my Need More Salt Diseases#and also my migraines are COMPLETELY fixed by benadryl so the chances of them not being allergy based is...small#I went there for issues with flashing lights and they didn't ask if I had a family history of epilepsy!!#and they kept asking if I only saw the flashing lights when I had migraines#I had to say 'when I see a physical light that is flashing it is disorienting and makes me nauseous'#before they understood I am not seeing flashing lights that don't exist#I have issues with flashing lights when the lights themselves are actually flashing#they didn't ask about concussions!!! I've had several! I had to bring it up#and the doc was like 'nah probably not important' and I was like 'I have a dent in my skull from one of the concussions'#so he did feel the dent in my skull but still!!!! why would the neurologist NOT ask if I'd had concussions??? I've had at least three!!
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does anyone know if we have to roll that rock up the hill again tomorrow
#so to recap what we all know if we're following the Angela is Sickly series#i can't eat tree nuts. i can't eat trail mix that has come in contact with tree nuts. i am uneasy about eating anything that has been in a#facility with tree nuts because i have had allergic reactions just as severe from cross-contamination as i have had from straight up#eating walnuts. the one exception to this rule is pistachios because i have yet to have an issue with them#i don't eat pecans anymore because i had a reaction. almonds are on thin ice i don't really eat them#also. also i dislike nuts. it's not a hard rule but i don't like them at all. i am not a picky eater they just happen to be one of the#foods i dislike they're a bad texture and they taste like wood. except for the beautiful pistachio#and then we have the alpha gal allergy so. it's not Nearly as severe in terms of life-threatening anaphylaptic response but#the trade-off is a week-long world ending stomachache. which is extremely not fun and also could at any point randomly turn into#a more severe allergy so i. sort of don't fuck with it. there are exceptions that i regret every time because ouch. no red meat.#similarly. we respond not too great to dairy. can't have a lot. can't be fixed by lactaid pills or anything because it's not lactose#intolerance it's an allergy. so. no tree nuts except pistachios. no red meat. light dairy. i am twenty pounds underweight.#my doctor told me to keep red meat in my diet if i couldn't maintain my weight and uh. Bad News i can't maintain weight but also it's a#massive trigger so what the fuck do i do here. to be allergic to some of the most caloric and fatty foods out there#tried to start up boosts and i will continue doing so but im getting stomachaches from them too. like the fuck do u do#im eating eggs and avocado and olive oil and peanut butter etc and im still losing weight. i don't ever have an appetite#gets to a point where im like Well we might end up in a fucking hospital because i keep losing weight and idk why#tests aren't showing anything other than alpha gal and minor inflammation we don't have a reason for#tomorrow i will fucking have egg and avocado and olive oil and butter and a boost and an antispasmodic and water and#i will get a stomachache again and be tired again. Onward!#i would feel so much better if i could gain weight and i can't. what do. im so tired all the time <3 15.8bmi <3
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fucking hate how hard it is to find a mechanic that isn’t shit. I thought I had one but they got shitty in the last two years I guess and now it’s like okay trying to read reviews and go test out places and get quotes but then people straight up lie about quotes and turnover times to get you to commit to leaving your car there and I’m like! Fuck! I get shit takes longer than expected sometimes or it turns out there’s a bigger problem sometimes that needs fixing and that’s fine! But so many places will straight up lie to you now and it’s just like. Normal? To the point where sometimes I Know I’m getting screwed but I don’t want to deal with the hassle of trying ten more places to find someone honest bc I need my fucking car fixed and I can’t just go around to a million different places getting quotes and checking the vibes.
Like idk. Why is it so difficult to find people who will look at the car, find out what is wrong, and fix what is wrong? I will happily fucking pay what I need to pay to get my car fixed and cover the cost of the diagnostics and labor and parts that need replacing because that’s what I want done and the parts need to be covered and I’m paying for skilled labor! But instead I have to learn to be a fucking automobile expert myself and go to fifty places and do so much research bc it’s so normal for people to try and screw you over. Like I just want to pay for a service and have that service done. Which is you fix the actual problem with my car. No more no less. Please and fucking thank you.
#vent post#sorry I’m just. big mad#I’ve had two seperate car issues back to back and I tried so hard not to get screwed the first time#but I still p sure I got fucking screwed#and now I have another issue and fuck! maybe the first place fucked shit up idk#took it to another place spent money and lo and behold ITS NOT FIXED#456 words#also it’s the same for doctors my god but that’s another rant#like I would just ignore it at this point except I stalled briefly at a light and it’s like. not worth risking having to get towed#or stalling on the highway#but fuck it’s so much effort to try to get it fixed and I already tried once and shit.
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I just read that the Freaking Fire Ants are indeed attracted to electricity, and I saw them around the outside of the house going into the sockets and possibly one of the a/c units (and I already have to keep my laptop in a Tupperware container when it's not in use on the protected desk). I've never actually talked to my new landlord, so I asked the old landlady if she could put me in contact with him directly. She's indignant that he's letting me be devoured by ants but.... Let's see how things go....
(She just called me back and said that her message went to voicemail so uhh we'll see. She says he IS a real person, just...kind of clueless.)
#i also put out some poison for them earlier#which is why i saw the lines going up to the a/c and the side light switch#when i saw that they can destroy electronics i figured it was my duty to somehow inform the owner#or he himself is going to have expensive issues to fix#anyway they seemed to like the bait and it gets really good reviews (it'd better for the price) but it says it's not for fire ants#idk wait and see
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ok sometimes i look through my old art on here and its like WHAT was i doing with them colours??? like they all look so sad and lifeless
#okay so there is a reason#drawing primarily anime girls meant i drew primarily very very light skinned characters#so my colour selection is based on the skintone being one shade lighter than white#so as soon as the skin is actually skin coloured in any other shade than white pale my colour picking gets entirely thrown off#like ahsoka??#shes taken me a WHILE to figure out colours for#it is an issue i am working to fix#other than that i think i was just really worried to mess the colours up and so i kinda took guesses instead of using fun colours#iv fixed that quite a bit lately id say#i still love pastels but im messing around with colours more#and not just dusty soggy looking dark colours#like for some reason i also used too much
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Ahh, tv shows where I can't tell apart the male leads, my beloathed.
Seriously either we need to go back to lighting our sets more, or long hair on men needs to come back into vogue, because I can't keep living like this.
I can't keep taking two seconds to try to determine who is who every shot because I miss what's going on in the scene!
Controversial opinion, but you need to follow the silhouette rule in live-action projects too, at least in regard to characters in the same show or movie! If you absolutely *can't* hire actors with different heights, hair, or builds, you need to work something out with the costuming department to get a distinct shape!
#fan wank#ignore morg#It doesn't even necessarily have to be that long smh just pick a man to not have the sides short?#I mean I'd like it longer because it looks better imo but for functional reasons changing the shape of their head would work!!!#Also the better your lighting is the more effective smaller changes to hair or costumes (or the actors faces lol) are likely to be.#Sometimes it's not even a lighting issue that creates an issue with the costuming.#Like I respect the use of a color filter for setting mood but if you use one you NEED different silhouettes!#Like this one appears to have *tried* with the guy with the earring but it's not enough.#There are few enough of that kind of fun-spooky type of romp that I feel left out by not being able to watch Ghostbusters.#(not that OG ghostbusters doesn't have other annoying elements but this one actively interferes with comprehension for me)#It's really disappointing running into another one.#I guess I should be grateful I don't watch a lot of a certain kind of anime because a few studios have a very similar problem.#Though in that case they're more likely to use the hair to fix the comprehension-affecting part of the problem.#Yeah I'm not making a particular effort to *hide* what show I'm vagueing. Just like I'm not doing much to hide my disappointment.#god fuck these unnecessary accessibility issues in live action seriously it's so goddamn frustrating.
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some boring lc thoughts in dm with friend ig
Click ALT if you can't read the text
#i was telling my friend that I had some lc thoughts lately which they asked and I responded like a day after (distracted by yuri sorry)#also because I feel like I cannot articulate my thoughts without sounding like an inherently hateful or annoying person about it#there are more to this being that I talked about Benjamin pre LC behavior in the text but benjamin in LC loop behavior evolved#into a state of helplessness complacency state where he held the belief that his and A relationship only last inside the loop#which metaphorically meant that he believed A will have to remain as a hurtful person for their relationship to last#so Hokma's story just have his behavior toward A have this bit of him condemning A's behavior and go on his poor angela speech#and later on dwell into how it is actually OK for A and everyone to keep living like this because A could NEVER change anyway#and if A argues that he could that just mean that he COULDNT BE serious about it because lol something something repeated hurtful pattern#this is something he has in common with Angela as well because Angela's dialogues toward seed of light progressions express this exact#and it is when his meltdown come in where he poses as protector to protect whatever A hasnt destroyed yet#which later just dwell into him admitted that he was just being overly vebrose about his intention but in reality#it was mostly because he couldnt bear to part with A again#I do absolutely think what Benjamin/Hokma feel toward A is romatic attraction like he is literally gay so yeah#and the fact that in QnA PM has answered that Benjamin wasnt in the loop before Angela killed him and put him in so that why he got older#which makes sense because this place into the thematic that when he wanted to escape the loop or fix thing he actually#growing up#while as Hokma stuck in the loop and dealing with the above issues he started being ''stuck'' in a loop#like I cant with the popular fan theory of Benjamin is killed each loop and how tragic it is like#no it didnt happen and it would be frankly kinda lame im sorry#ok im being a hater again#there are more I wanted to say but I forgor them after writing till this point so uh
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The way sw resistance white washed Poe reeeeally irked me too
It stands out even more next to Kaz who does have black hair (and even brown eyes it finally dawned on me they didn't Rebels-ify him)!! Like!!! C'mon!!!! It would not take much to fix this if I can fucking fix it with a paintbrush and Photoshop in like. five minutes or so.
It's really a "you either get him with almost the right skin color but the wrong hair color (resistance) or he's as white as I am but hey his hair is black (galaxy of adventures)" situation and I hate it!!! Deeply!!!! Animate him correctly!!!!!! Actually just draw him correctly generally (*glancing at the SW adventures comics*)
#ask box#userorb#another reason I don't gif resistance that much#I hate trying to color it because??? the color grading on it is IMPOSSIBLE to deal with#and I like to try to at least fix his hair when I gif it but it's not always possible with the weird lighting and animating coloring choice#so I usually wind just not. not#I think some of the Poe annuals also do it#but I can't be sure because I have like. mostly wiped both issues clean from my memory
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welp i think im healed a bit i have a new keyboard
not only is this better for my sensory issues (softer keys and quieter sounds, its so pleasing gosh) but also
LIGHTS!!!
#this was like a 60€ investment but my old keyboard is on its last legs plus has all the issues i fixed with this#plus if i invest once in something more expensive it should last longer in daily use right?#also i had the money and its cute what of it lmao#this also streamlines my writing process cause now i can actually use my desktop instead of having to always spend time and energy#specifically opening my laptop so. win!!#im just very happy with this ive wanted a keyboard with lights for sooooo loooong but all i ever found were mechanical ones#and i cant do those. they are sensory hell for me ough#anyways. night is happy and will consume breakfast now since i also got cheese while i was in the store yay lol#night is an absolute mess on main
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look. my neurologist was like. heath if u are having trouble sleeping get up & do something relaxing low stress but i forgot to ask her what i do if i never Fall Asleep um. so here we are.
#☼.txt#:)#i suppose i could be doing those things she suggested but like#um ? idk how im supposed to read a book w/out turning on the light when i dont have a nightlight#wont that wake me up more#ik im being very specific & idk. maybe like 'causing problems' but like. if every parameter isnt checked#every ground rule isnt laid out then uhhh i cant function sometimes#also. scratching my head. it seems there is a front moving in. which is making me have a migraine which i KNOW is keeping me up#even if i Am sleepy#but identifying the issue here doesnt necessarily allow me to like. fix it. :/#personal /#sorry.
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Just… a moment of silence for how beautiful this scene was 🥺
#don’t get me wrong – i know that Blades has pacing issues#and that one way to fix those issues could be (for example) not spending most of a chapter on a minor character’s funeral#but also – i don’t think i’d want to *read* the version of Blades where that doesn’t happen#because the story just wouldn’t have the same heart#playchoices#choices: stories you play#blades of light & shadow#blades of light and shadow#nia ellarious#imtura tal kaelen#tyril starfury#the party#screenshots#original post
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Watching the death note musical and man, I just want to give Light some tea and terrible unlicenced therapy.
#like. no i don't agree with him#but also i completely understand the mindset#fundamentally he's a disillusioned teenager who wants any way to fix what he sees#(and to do something exceptional and full of meaning instead of what he sees as a bland and empty existence)#and then he's handed a notebook that can kill people#because it happened to be him - in particular - of course it turned out that way#it's tragic#it makes you wish you could help him#and imo he's not very emotionally mature. A lot of his issues remind me of me at 14#the guy was probably already tumbling headfirst into a mental health crisis#and you can absolutely cherry pick things he said and thought that make him seem like an absolute monster#and he definitely has lots of those traits that he Isn't Aware Of. but that's like. part of why you'd want to help him#and i feel like a lot of what L did was bring those traits out into the open for light#of course neither of them thought it was particularily wrong and the task force didn't pick up on it#but i think that's where some of the hatred comes from. not just that he's trying to stop Light#but also that he can see Light and is making Light aware of aspects of himself he'd rather not be#(insert homosexuality joke here even though that's not what I'm talking about)#remember that Light has been 'perfect' his entire life.#And everyone has said a million times over that the fact L sees him contributes to the weird sort of closeness they have#and why Light is so lonely after L's death#anyways all I'm saying is that it's tragic and while i doubt anything i could do would change it it makes me wish i could try#i love making fun of and criticizing Light as much as the next guy#but I guess today my brain decided to access the special Death Note Emotions
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i think they might have gotten lost im the ask box of not i apologize if it seems like im rushing/nagging! no rush i just wanna make sure theyre still in the list, the brown haired greeneyed leo and wow its been so long i cant remember if it was nero mhyk or himeru? >_< thank you for your time
you get leo and meru because nero's wiki is glitching too much for me today
#every fan wiki i look on is being weird w/ pictures for some reason idk why. im gonna try to fix it if it's an issue w/ firefox or somethin?#also i did light brown and this ask doesnt say what shade . um. i hope i was right
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