#also good job on the van goddamn

[anarchopuppy]

The Van Fund, or "Help Pops become homeless so they can finally stop begging for rent money every goddamn month"

Hey y'all! I'm Pops (they/them), a broke-as-hell nonbinary autistic anarchist. People who follow me will know that earlier this year I got a full-time nonprofit job, which I truly believed in and did my best at while I was there. Unfortunately, my best wasn't good enough, and by the end of my term there I was getting lectures from my boss daily (same as all my previous jobs - being autistic enough to suck at work but not autistic enough to get any sympathy or accommodations is hell). Eventually I was so ground down and burnt out that I quit, and I've spent the several months since paralyzed with depression. On top of that, while working there the partner I was living with dumped me forcing me to move into a shitty one-bedroom apartment, and shortly after moving there my motorcycle (my only vehicle) was stolen. Needless to say, being trapped in this tiny space alone with no transportation has not been good for my already historically bad mental health

At this point, the thought of ever working a capitalist job again genuinely makes me suicidal, so I've been looking into other ways of living. After talking to some very helpful folks and looking through various resources online, I've decided to get a used contractor van and live in it for the time being. I intend to dedicate the extra time, energy, money, and freedom that'll give me (plus the van itself, when it can be useful) to mutual aid and the broader anarchist struggle as much as possible

To summarize: capitalism sucks, I'm gonna live in a van and do anarchy instead

Like I mentioned before, I'm completely broke. I know how I'm gonna make money once I have the van, but without transportation I don't have a lot of options. That's why I'm asking you guys for help

After looking around online, I settled on a goal of $3000 to buy a van outright and have it delivered here. If you're in a comfortable enough financial position to help me out, you can contribute to the goal on my ko-fi. I also have a patreon, and you can DM me for my venmo, paypal, or cashapp. Hopefully, unless something unexpected happens down the road, this should be the last big begpost I'll ever have to make

Thank you for reading, and thank you all for your help all these years. Reblogs are appreciated

[leelei1980]

Mechanic!Eddie + reader

🛑 Smut warning, Mature18+ Minors DNI🛑

TW: P in V, talk of blowjobs, unprotected sex ( As always wrap it before ya tap it)

Wet and wild

POV: Mechanic Eddie Munson

POV : Eddie

" Ho-ly shit."

You smiled to yourself as you slowly pulled into your driveway. It had been a long, hot day at the shop. Wearing coveralls in the middle of July and standing in front of fans that were blowing around nothing but hot air wasn't exactly an ideal way to spend a summer day but it was a job, and one you were good at and it paid the bills. And you knew that no matter how shitty your day was at work , every night you would be going home to the woman of your dreams. She would greet you with a kiss and a hug and a slap on the ass and to you life couldn't get any more perfect than that.

Well, maybe it could.

You were currently sitting inside your Van leaning forward on the steering wheel smiling like an idiot watching your total smoke show of a girlfriend wash her car.

How the fuck did you get lucky enough to land a girl so gorgeous and so fucking hot?

She had driven her car into the back yard to allow for easier access to the hose. Boy were you glad that you had put up a privacy fence along the borders of your lawn, you didn't need the neighbors ogling you gorgeous girlfriend if she decided she wanted to sunbathe in the back yard, or in this case, wash her car .

Her hair was piled up on the top of her head and she was wearing a tiny red bikini top and the shortest jean cut offs that you had ever seen. Every time she would bend over and dunk her sponge in the soapy water her sweet cheeks would pop out the bottom. You wanted so badly to go over and pinch them but if you did you would blow your cover.

She had her stereo cranked so aloud that she didn't even hear you pull in. That's your girl.

She sang loudly, horribly , using the hose nozzle as a microphone to sing Bad Medicine by Bon Jovi. Her back was facing you and she was completely oblivious .

" Oh,oh, oh, Shake it up, just like Bad Medicine, there ain't no doctor that can cure my disease!"

She was dancing and shaking her ass like her life depended on it. She was putting on a real show. Goddamn was she sexy.

You slowly and quietly got out of your van and lightly shut the door. You snuck up behind her and the first time she bent down to dunk her sponge in the bucket you held onto her hips and pressed yourself up against her nice full ass.

You were expecting a gasp, a giggle and a kiss, what you got was a scream and a blast in the face with the hose.

" Jesus Christ , it's just me!" You sputtered as You lifted up the white tank that you wore under your coveralls and wiped your face.

" Edward FUCKING Munson, you scared the shit out of me! You almost gave me a heart attack!!"  Her hand was over her heart as she tried to calm down " I had no idea you were even there , you fucking creeper!" A slow smile spreading across her face. " I should have known it was you when I felt your dick pressed up against my ass. You had a boner and everything, you fricking perv."

You laugh and slide your arms around her waist." Only because you are so fucking sexy. I got quite a show Babydoll. Made me so fucking hot for you."

She leaned in and kissed you greedily, shoving her tongue into your mouth and only adding to the fire that you already felt for her. You squeezed her ass and  pulled her up against you and moaned into her mouth.

" Your feeling hot for me baby?" She whispered into your ear, pressing her breasts against you.

" You fucking know it."

" Maybe I can cool you down?"

" Yeah, Sweetheart cuz I'm overheating."

" Can't have that baby." She stepped back smiling.

Before you could react she took the hose and sprayed the front of you causing your tank and your coveralls to stick to your body.

" F-fuck! That water is cold!"

She laughed." You said you needed to cool down. Now we are even ,Fucker." She smiled.

There was no way you could be mad at her, but there was also no way you were going to let her get away with it. You took the hose from her and started spraying her with it. She screamed but laughed as she ran away and you saw her grab the bucket and the sponge. This was going to be an all out war.

" Don't make me do it Baby! I swear I'll do it!" She warned from the front of the car. She had the soaked sponge in her hand.

You smirk." It doesn't have to end like this Princess, just put the sponge down and no one gets hurt." You slowly take two steps closer. She launched the soggy sponge and it hit you right in the chest. Completely soaking you. Holy shit, your girl had a fucking cannon.

" Now your going to get it!" You smile and untied the arms of your coveralls that you had tied around your waist. You stepped out of them so that you were wearing only your tank and shorts. You had to be able to maneuver and couldn't risk getting caught up on anything.

" No Eddie! " She screamed and ran and you took off after her. She was fast but you were faster. You caught up in no time. You grabbed her around the waist and spun her around.

" Our neighbors must think we are fucking nuts." You laughed.

" Let 'em, then they will stay away. There is no way that they can hear us over the radio anyway.” She smiled. " I'm just glad that you put up the privacy fence around our yard. At least they don't have visual evidence of our craziness."

" We'd be the talk of the trailer park. Did you see that there freaky Munson guy chasing around that poor girl?"

She laughed." Or did you hear about that girl just completely ripping the clothes off that freaky Munson boy and having sex with him right in the back yard?"

" Woah now Sweetheart, that's just downright scandalous." You pulled her close and kissed her neck.

" Baby no one can see us." She grabbed the bottom hem of your tank and pulled it up over your head. " and if they did it's their own damn fault for being nosy." She bit her lip.

You tip you head back and sigh , you can't resist the lip bite, it's your fucking kryptonite, and then she leans in and starts kissing your neck. " Fuuck, your nothing but trouble, you know that? You used to be so sweet and innocent when I met you. What the fuck happened." You smiled.

She pulled away and looked up at you with her big doe eyes and smiled ." I got a piece of you and now I can't get enough." She started kissing your collarbone, working her way down to the tattoos on your chest. " You looked so sexy in your wet tank and coveralls-"

" I looked sexy? Uh no, baby doll, you looked sexy. This fucking skimpy little top, " You ran your finger under the tiny piece of cloth, grazing against her nipple." Those fucking shorty shorts, your ass looks so fucking amazing in,"you reach down and squeeze her ass. " So sexy you made me hard, remember?"

" That's right." She ran her hand over the front of your shorts." Oh you poor baby, I think you could use a little relief." She hooked her finger in the waistband of your shorts and slowly walked backwards to her car.

" You want me to fuck you on the hood of your car?"

" Are you crazy! I just washed it, I don't want my ass print on the hood! I want you to fuck me in the car."

You smiled. " Not exactly spacious but we can make it work. "

She opened up her back door and stripped off her shorts, once off you hook your fingers in her bikini bottoms and pull them down. She lays down on her back, smiles and wiggles her finger at you in a ' Come hither' motion.

You look around the back yard one last time. The way the car was positioned, the fence, where you had parked the van, the coast was clear.

You slid down your shorts and felt your dick spring up and hit you. You watch your horny Princess spread her legs invitingly and you could tell just how ready she was for you.

Carefully you lay down on top of her , free her tits from her top, give the hard nubs a little lick and a suck then line up your aching cock with her entrance and slowly slide in.

" Oh Fuck."

" Holy shit."

You both moan as you draw back then push your way back in. God, she was so wet, so tight. " So good Sweetheart, you feel so fucking good." You start to thrust a little faster.

You feel her reach down and and grab your ass, pulling you in closer, deeper.

"I want you buried deep inside me, Eds." You slowly roll your hips and she groans." You fuck me so good baby, please don't stop."

So you didn't. You pounded into her endlessly until you felt her walls clench around you and her body shudder beneath you. It wasn't long after that that you got your own sweet release.

You laid there for a moment, catching your breath, looking down at her beautiful, satisfied face. You kiss her forehead and then her lips." How did I get so fucking lucky Dollface?"

She smiled up at you." It wasn't luck baby , it was fate. We were made for each other."

" One-hundred percent." You carefully push yourself up off of her pull up your shorts the help her out of the cramped back seat of her car.

" I prefer the back of your van but that will do in a pinch." She winked at you and popped her top back down over her breasts. She grabbed the bikini bottoms and slid them on. " I totally won that water fight by the way. Your defense was lame Munson, how many times did I soak you?"

" Including just now?" You gave her a cocky grin. " I was playing more like an attacker. I mean I fucking chased you down like a fucking Cheetah chasing and gazelle you and caught you -"

" In case you didn't notice honeybuns, it was a WATER BATTLE, chasing doesn't count, and you literally only squirted me once with the hose."

" I squirted you with my hose alright-"

She laughed. " So gross- you are just avoiding the reality of the situation, I won."

" Yes baby, you 'officially' won but we both ended up 'winning in the end'."

She threw her head back and laughed.

" You think the sex was the prize? That was just a bonus. You owe me dinner."

" Oh I do, do I? I don't remember discussing any rules or prizes. "

" Dinner is always default prize for any competition-"

" I would pick a blowjob over dinner any day." You smirk.

" Of course you would, but baby there is no competition necessary for that, all you have to do is ask nicely."

" Can I have a blowjob as a runner up prize?"

" After you take me to dinner." She smiles sweetly at you.

" Are we talking Benny's or Enzo's?"

" Oh, Benny's is fine."

" Alright Princess let's go in and clean up, I'm still a fucking mess from the shop and then we will go out for burgers and shakes."

" Sounds perfect!"

You lean in and peck her lips." Ladies first."

You watched as she started towards the house, walking triumphantly, you let her get a few feet away from you then you picked up the hose and totally let her have it.

" Eddddiiieee!"

It was music to your ears.

Thanks for reading! Comments and re-blogs always appreciated ❤️

[lullaby-for-a-shark]

Hamildaddies Update

I have finished the first two songs

Alexander Hamilton/These Four Dads, yeah

Aaron Burr, Sir/Put Down That Phone, Son

Lyrics under the cut, pray for me :)

(also a TW for suicide, just in relation to Cern, it’s fleeting and unspecific)

These Four Dads, Yeah

ERIN

How would a vegan, rocker, son of a dick

And a coach dad, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot

In the forgotten realms, by some guys in purple robed collars

Get out in time for them to play soccer

CERN

An extreme, green, man who's always oh so very keen

Dad to two whack tweens, who steal all his time to clean

Having to stand between

His kids and a naked tree

His crunchy munchiness is all part of his neat routine 

SCAM LIKELY

And every day he would pray 

his step son wouldn’t cast him away, would this be the day?

He struggled and kept his guard up

Inside he was longing for something to be apart of

The step dad was ready to be, steal, or borrow a father 

RATTICUS FINCH

Then a guitar riff played, the Glenn Close Trio reigned 

Christmas music now rise, rising from the grave

Put a doobie in his face hole, let it ease his brain

Donning an awesome belt chain, to cover up all the pain

PAEDEN

Well, the word got around, they said ‘damn this guy can coach, man’

Good at doing dishes, the kitchen is his main land

He quit his college education 

On tax day he came

These dads, the words gonna know their names

The fuck are they man?

ENSEMBLE

These four dads, yeah

God please help these four dads, yeah

Your heart apart they will quickly tear

If you just wait, if you just wait

WALTER

With their kids they will split, various levels of tear ridden

In a short time they’ll have to find out where they’re hidden

Are they dead? Coping with being sick and brain thick?

And the longer we take the faster time seems to tick

YEET BIGLEY

They make some cool friends

One of which wants to commit suicide

His dead kids left him with broken pride

Nothing new inside

Henry says ‘McStuffins you gotta fend for yourself’

Which led to him retreating

A deck of cards placed placed on the shelf

DOUG

With their kids their conflicts they will have to try to dispute 

Before they’re all dead or destitute

Without a cent of restitution

Dealing with scamming while lamming

Henry and Darryl being ignored

Ron and Glenn mostly enjoying being abroad 

Scamming will become a real issue from now on

Planning seems impossible when you drive on

The issue at hand while in your cool van

ENSEMBLE

In the forgotten realms you can improve as a man

In the forgotten realms you can improve as a man

(If you just wait)

In the forgotten realms you can improve as a man

(If you just wait)

In the forgotten realms you can improve as a man

In the forgotten realms, forgotten realms

PAEDEN

If you just wait

ENSEMBLE

These four dads, yeah

(These four dads, yeah)

Mass destruction followed you

(Destruction followed you)

You never backed down

‘Cause you were running out of time

Oh, these four dads, yeah

(These four dads, yeah)

When all the friends you made sing for you

Will they know what you overcame?

That lives were lost to win the game?

Your world will never be the same, oh

ERIN

The van in in San Dimas now

See if you can spot them

They cannot possibly know 

That they will hit rock bottom

CERN

Their fatherhood destroyed their rep in the world of forgotten

CERN

Me, I fought with them

ERIN

Me, I helped them

PAEDEN

Me, I loved them

SCAM LIKELY

And me?

I'm the awesome guy that scammed ‘em

Your hearts apart they’ll quickly tear

If you just wait

They fuck are they man?

These four dads, yeah!

Put Down That Phone, Son

ENSEMBLE

Two Thousand and Nineteen

San Dimas

DARRYL

Put down that phone once you’ve won, son

GRANT

What is it this time?

DARRYL

Oh well tons, son 

You see I, Darryl Wilson have a task, son

We’ve got a job to do

GRANT

Oh goddamn it

DARRYL

Son, I know you love your soccer and I thought that maybe you could make some more friends

And you could get sorta buddy-buddy with that team of yours

If we carpool it could be fun, son

And look, there’s Glenn over there

GRANT

The weed one?

DARRYL

Yes!

Morning Glenn Close, I’ll have to shake your hand we’re not here for social revolution 

GLENN

I look at him like he’s stupid

DARRYL

I’m not stupid

So, your sons smoking weed, ha, guess they grow up so fast

GLENN

He’s only thirteen, but why wait for more time to pass?

DARRYL

About the smoking weed, of course

I’ve done it, God, back in ninety-four

I smoked more weed than we possibly could have ever

Paid for

GLENN

Can I get in the car?

DARRYL

That would be nice

GLENN

While we’re talking let me offer you some free advice

Care less

DARRYL

What?

GLENN

Chillax more

DARRYL

Ha

GLENN

‘Cause why would you want to live life like that for?

DARRYL

You can’t be serious 

GLENN

You wanna get ahead?

DARRYL

Yes

GLENN

Dads who are too square wind up dead

LARK 

Ah-yuh-yo-yo-yo, yo!

What time is it

SPARROW

Show time!

GLENN

Stop that dread

LARK

Showtime, showtime! Yo!

I’m Lark Oak in the place to be

And I’m punching the absolute shit out of this tree

And even though my dad may frown at me

Violence is the coolest in the world, you see

SPARROW

Yes yes brother, that’s as true as it can get

I Sparrow am one half of the best twin set

My enemies have scars

I make them see spinning stars

We are cool and awesome and et-cet-e-ra

HENRY

Guys Guys, I am the Henry Oak

Just a bloke, don’t choke

I heard your mother say “it’s not a joke”

So I don’t wanna enforce nor endorse

Your energy ‘cause it’s your passions source

So if you could get right into the car, sons

And later you can continue with your little

HENRY, LARK AND SPARROW

Revolution!

HENRY

With my extensive environmental knowledge

I suppose carpooling is fine if it’s acknowledged?

TERRY JR 

Good luck with that, I’m making you walk

Your shit oatmeal spit is even sick of your talk

I still don’t understand why the fuck you are here for

RON

I here ‘cause I’m your step dad

And you’re someone to cheer for 

GRANT

Ugh, are we good, are we good, are we good?

DARRYL

Yes we should be good son, yes we should…

edit: pasting the lyrics in instead of having screenshots

[weaselle]

i'm really lucky, i am almost never exposed to illnesses because for my job i am either alone in the van or outside walking around with a whole pack of dogs nobody is allowed to get close to.

The only exception to this is when i'm picking up or dropping off dogs, and most of the time nobody is home and i basically just open the front door and the dogs are right there and i put a leash on them.

but Monday, i show up to a house to grab two dogs, and nobody answers the door and the dogs aren't at the door, so i go into the house (totally normal for the job) and walk through the kitchen to where the dog/baby gate is blocking off the living room, and i get there at the same time as the owner who is also coming to open the gate.

and she goes "oh no! keep your distance! I have covid!" and she's not wearing a mask or anything.

So of course i ditch outside right away, and call the dogs to me in the yard, but goddamn, you could have texted me that you had that shit and i wouldn't have walked all the way into your house and if you heard me calling the dogs from your kitchen door you could have put a mask on, jesus.

anyway, guess who tested positive for covid this morning.

and like. i don't even care that i'll basically have the flu (i mean i do care, this is going to suck, but) i'm healthy, i had a different variant of covid a couple years ago, i have no reason to believe this is going to hit me personally any harder than a normal flu.

But i'm going to miss several days of pay. And my boss looses a bunch of money each day i can't work (which endangers my entire job, we're an incredibly small operation) And more than any of that, i live with my elderly father and cancer-riddled mother and hate the thought of risking their lives with this illness.

All of which could have been avoided if this client had simply texted me "i have covid, let me know when you pull up and i'll put the dogs out in the front yard for you"

And it's not like she's unaware of how serious this still is, she got long covid when she caught it a couple years ago and still has complications from it.

This couple are actually my favorite clients, they are both so sweet and usually incredibly thoughtful and good about things, she just, christ she really dropped the ball on this one.

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

part three !!! :3333 theres probabky gonna be 2 or 3 parts following this one... im also unsure why, but an underline appears under colored text on mobile now? dunno if its the same on the tumblr browser.

anyway, enjoy a bit of sniperscout and spydad ;)

------------<3

Sniper sighs as he drives down the lonely highway, the trees overhead casting enough shade that he doesn't need to wear his sunglasses, but he keeps his hat on. It's his good luck charm. His mum gave him it, and he doesn't plan on loosing it.

It's now been a week since Scout vanished. Sniper didn't outwardly show it, but he's just as nervous as Spy is.

A few months back, Scout had come to the camper with a rather sad looking bouquet of flowers and asked him on a movie date. And Sniper had said yes.

They'd been secretly dating since, and only Medic knew about it, and promised not to tell anyone. "It's not my place to deciee when you're ready to tell everyone", Medic had said.

Sniper wanted to be mad at Spy for making Scout so angry. But he couldn't be. Not after seeing how wrecked the Frenchman was, even after Scout's mother came to the base for a few days. She had left yesterday to return home, and made Spy swear to find Scout and keep him safe.

Sniper taps his finger on the wheel. There's a bit of broken glass on the road. Someone would have to clean it up later---

A flash of red lying on the side of the road catches his attention and he slams on the breaks.

What the bloody hell is that?

Hesitating, he pulls the van over and hops out, jogging the way back towards the red he had seen. And his blood runs cold.

"Jesus christ..." He whispers, and speeds up to running, grabbing his comm and radios Engi, since Sniper knows that the Texan always has his comm with him.

"Truckie, you there?" Sniper asks into the comm, and stares down at the mess with his hands on his hips.

"Yes sir, what's the deal, Stretch?" Engi replies. Sniper scowls at the stupid nickname.

"Find Doc. I found Scout." Sniper crouches down at the runner's side. "We're out on the highway. I don't want to move 'im, I.. I think he got hit by a bloody car. He doesn't look too good.

"Stay where you are." Engi orders. "We'll be there soon."

Spy knew immediatly when he heard Engi yell for Medic to get in the "goddamn ambulance" and drive.

They must've found Scout. There can't be another explanation. Spy looks out the window of his smoking room to see the ambulance pull out of the base's garage and speed away, sirens blaring.

He brings the cigarette to his mouth with a trembling hand.

When Scout was a few months old, Spy had come home to find him wailing in his crib. Heather wasn't home, so he assumed that she must've gone out to buy more baby powder. So that left Spy to take care of baby Scout.

And he did what a father should do. He picked up baby Scout out of the crib and sang him a French lullaby, and was able to get him to sleep again. He stayed in Scout's room until Heather returned, but he had also fallen asleep. She had snapped a photo, and Spy kept that photo in his disguise kit behind his cigarettes.

If only times could be that simple again.

Don't worry anon I'm pretty sure the color underline is happening for everyone. Anyway! Good job as always :)

[humblequestvinyl]

BACKGROUND MUSIC

BACKGROUND MUSIC, AARON HOTCHNER X FEM!READER

APART OF THE HUMBLE QUEST SERIES

SUMMARY: two agents, one department, both wondering if they’ll leave behind some type of legacy, or if they’ll just be two faces on a plaque in the hallways after they leave,

inspired by background music by maren morris

warning: angst, swearing, & usual talk of a cm case

lowercase is intentional!! wordcount: 0.7k

a/n i linked the performance to background music: in rare form, because it reminded me sm of my maren show and brings me so much joy!! i also finally get to write hotch so im so excited!! ps. i hope i did this song justice. i really hope i did. also gif by @hqtchner !!

WATCHING AS THE FLASHING LIGHTS AROUND THEM LIT UP THE OUTSIDE OF THE BRICK BUILDING,

agent y/n hotchner, and aaron hotchner watched as derek had put the suspect into custody, presumably sending him on his way towards the local towns police station.

it took them three days, 22 hours and nine minutes to catch the unsub who had gone on a killing spree, and for the first day and a half, he had the bau stumped, basically leading them on a wild goose chase until he had slipped up.

the h/c girl watched as the rest of her team filed into the vans, and she was soon to follow, with a look of disappointment, and longing filling her face. with hotchner quickly noticing, taking note to ask about it when the two got back.

it took six hours, and a few different vehicles to get back to the hotchner’s apartments, and as soon as they did, the two were in bed, doing their best to fall asleep, but both were unsuccessful.

after awhile, aaron spoke up, splitting the silence between the two, “what’s keeping you up?”

“do you ever think about the legacy we’ll leave behind once we leave the bureau?”y/n asked softly, before turning to face her husband, “seriously aaron, do you ever think about how in ten years we might not even be there, and we might just be some names on a goddamn plaque.”

“we’ve got time, but we’ve also gotta realize that we’re human. especially with our job, one of us could be taken at any moment.”she went on, and she studied her husbands face, waiting for a response, “seriously, how many cases do we have left in us?”

“i do think about that a lot.”aaron admitted, brushing a stray piece of hair out of y/n’s face, “i think about how we could just be some name in a history book, with nobody knowing about who we actually are.”

“i don't want that.”y/n whispered, propping her chin on her hand, “i want to be remembered, like i get not all of us can leave a souvenir like rossi, but i don’t want to be another agent in the history books, only being known for reading lips and transcribing what people are saying.”

“its really hard to see that we’re going to be the lucky ones in this situation.”

it was silent between the two for awhile, with aaron trying to decide what to say, and y/n waiting for his response. he knew that she was right, not everyone could leave something behind like rossi did with his books, but also knew that the two of them wouldn’t just be some names on a plaque hanging in the hallways.

“we will leave a legacy behind.”aaron finally spoke up, his eyes matching e/c ones, “and a damn good one too.”

“we won't just be known as two agents who went out and solved cases. hell, even if we are, its the legacy we leave behind outside of the bureau with the victims families and the amount of lives we change.”he explained, with y/n grasping onto what he was saying, “you might not see it, but the rest of the team does. the way you interact with the families, and help them through the tragedies they have gone through.”

“and even if we don’t, ill love you til all that we are,”aaron started, before a small smile spread across y/n’s face.

“is background music.”she finished for him, knowing it was one of their favorite songs, one they deemed as ‘their song’ due to the meaning of it. 

“until we’re background music.”

[mariatesstruther]

good morning here’s a tlou x the office au

joel and pam are ig jim and tess, except if pam was far more confident and flirty and jim was a single father with even less patience for everyone around. at the beginning of their flirtationship, tess is in a relationship with mike, who is just? meh? he’s nice? he’s not good, he’s not bad, he’s just nice. but everyone sees the way joel looks at tess, has been looking at tess for years and years and years; they see the way sarah comes in and absolutely adores spending time with her, ditching her daddy completely in favor of spending time with “literally the coolest person ever”; they see the way tess faithfully makes both her and joel coffee every morning, even despite her claims that she “is not a goddamn coffee machine, thank you very much. everyone in here can get up to go make their own goddamn cups of coffee”; they see the way the two of them fall in love. they know it is only a matter of time (and are particularly interested in the specifics of that time, because they’re all invested in the office-wide bet of when exactly their getting-together will be)

ellie is a temp that is driving everybody crazy but also somehow simultaneously making them fall in love with her.

maria, tommy, and bill and frank, literally almost every character from game 1 and 2 under the cut!

ellie is major crushing on new hire dina in accounting, and she’s constantly hanging back there with dina and jesse, the other accountant and dina’s ex/bestie. anna is alive and super proud of her and comes to visit her on the job sometimes, which everybody adores. they all spend the day gushing to her about how awesome and whip-smart ellie is—they leave out stories like the time she and tommy set half the kitchen on fire because they put foil in the microwave

maria is ig kinda like a version of stanley that, except young and hot but still very much being slowly driven insane at this fucking job with these absolute fucking wackos. she’s their best salesman, and she’s so fucking smart about investing her money that she’s somehow absolutely loaded filthy rich on the side—to the point where everyone is a lil suspicious of what exactly she’s investing in, but whatever. she vacations in crazy expensive lavish places like luxury hotels in vegas, lake tahoe, and magnolia springs. she has also been divorced twice (not bc shes a serial cheater like stanley just bc she was too good for them and the divorce contracts she negotiated for herself were also a great way to make a lil extra money. allegedly). she is a level 10 Cat Person and has two custom-modeled cat rooms for all seven of her cats (tommy worked on a new, better, more awesome one after seeing her first)

tommy is an accountant who got hired here first as a temp as a favor to his brother; he actually really ended up loving the place, so he stayed. i think he’d be a hilarious version of meredith, not in that he has an alcohol problem but just in that he parties way to hard (and, like meredith, always somehow ends up with his shirt off) and halfway lives out of his (actually pretty lavish and cool) camper van that takes up three parking spaces and takes ten minutes to park every morning. he’s fun and friendly and head-over-heels in love with maria, who is playin a lil hard to get but only because she’s not interested in anything too serious, anything that’ll take time away from her work and her cats—she knows, somehow, that it would be serious with her and tommy. she is kindasortamaybe falling in love with him a little bit already too, so. the office also has a bet on who will get together first, between maria and tommy and tess and joel. tommy has a retired ptsd service dog named buckley that comes around the office sometimes to visit everyone and get pets and take long naps on maria’s cold feet—tommy makes sure maria knows how much buckley loves cats, too, just in case

riley is ellie’s best friend and works as a temp under marlene across the hall (she also employs abby, lev, yara, and mel), but riley comes around enough that she’s practically part of the family. she’s constantly coming over with snacks and coffees and extra smooth pens for everyone when she hangs out with ellie, so who can complain? she also has a really cute lil thing with cat, who’s temping under esther in hr. cat always cat/house-sits for maria when she goes on trips

the office is co-managed by bill and frank, with frank handling the emplyees and day to day stuff while bill mostly makes sure the walls don’t collapse in on everyone everyday (literally and figuratively. the paper business is an especially shitty one, and their building structurally is an absolute mess). 5/7 days out of the week, bill is walking around all day with workboots and his tool belt on, looking like he just came back from war

it is an incredibly good time, and it descends into chaos when a camera crew comes in to make a documentary about all of them

[stanchez-fool]

Random little goofy fanfic

Enjoy this piece of shit garbage I poured my life into

Rick tapped his foot impatiently. Fiddleford was taking FOREVER to 'make sure his house was safe.' Who the hell would even WANT to break in little Fiddlenerd's house?! All it had was dozens and dozens of robot blueprints.

"HURRY THE FUCK UP, W-WON'T YOU!?" His voice echoed loudly throughout the huge mansion.

"LET ME FINISH MAKIN' SURE IT'S SAFE! BE PATIENT YOU OLD BABOON!"

"YOU'RE OLDER THAN- THAN ME YOU FUCKHEAD!" Rick grumbled, looking around the place. He didn't know how Fiddleford got this big house; all he knew was that Fiddleford had money now. He was actually SOFISTICATED. Well, kind of.

Fiddleford walked up to the windows in the front closing them and walking right past Rick as he did. He was wearing a floral button-up and some grey shorts. Rick, on the other hand, had changed outfits for once. He had on a hoodie (which was previously Stan's) along with some sweatpants. It wasn't much, but Rick didn't have much of a closet to pick from.

"Come o-on Fiddlenerd." Fidds grumbled. "That's not mah name, stop callin' me it!" Rick chuckled. "Mhm. Once you tell your p-precious ass boyfriend to lay off me."

Fiddleford mumbled something under his breath, grabbing keys off of a table and walking out the HUGE gate doors. Inside the worn-down van, the old hill-billy climbed into the driver seat. "God.. Why did we have- have to leave so goddamn e-early.." The sun just barely peeked off of the landscape. The sky was still incredible an inky black, though the parts around the peek-a-boo playing sun with dazzled with yellows, orange, and a bit of pink. The old van made a *vr..vroOM VROOM* noise, as Fidds had just started it up. "Buckle up, buckaroo. It's gonna be some hours before we get there."

They were heading to the docks over near the ocean since Ford and Stanley were finally gonna come back! Rick had not kissed Lee or fucked with Ford in so long is was almost starting to drive him insane. Sure, he had done other things, but not quite as satisfactory as hearing Ford yell angry threats and curses at him as he fucked his twin. Got a difference than just getting yelled at. It's the purpose that matters.

Rick snored softly, curling into the blanket a bit more. It was nearing the end of may, but they were in Oregon, so it was still as cold as hell.

Rick jerked awake, sitting up on the bench seat that was partially hidden from the driver's seat. "How much- How much longer we got?" Fiddleford jumped at the sound of Rick's voice.

"We're about halfway through.. At our next stop we should switch. I'm tired of drivin' this beat up thing!" Rick yawned, stretching. "Right.." Rick climbed up into the passenger seat, looking up at the sun, which was now complete above the landscape, shining brightly across the land.

Rick took a second to appreciate the job did on this old van. It didn't run very good anymore, but he had painted the inside a mint-leafy green color. There was a few figures upon the dashboard, dancing and waving from the sun. He had also painted the dashboard a nice light grey with a few patches of the green. Along with that, there was flowers and plants painted all along it. It was.. Quite nice to look at.

The van screeched to a stop, and Rick looked out the window to see an old hotel. They popped inside, grabbed some food from the buffet and went to the bathroom. Rick opened the glass door, walking back outside.

"Ey Fiddlenerd.. Are you nervous to-to see Ford?" Fiddleford sighed, walking up to the van. "A bit.. Before we left, my hunny and I.. Kinda had a fight?" He opened the van door, hopping into the backseat bench. "I'm gonna take a nap. Wake me up when we're close."

They had been driving through dense woods for the most part, but soon, the heavily dense woods opened up into a beach, A road running a bit away from it. "FI-UUUGHHHH-DDS!" he yelled. Fiddleford jerked awake.

"Gosh, whaddya want now?!" Rick pointed out the window to see an almost endless beach. There was parking lot a bit away from the dock, so Rick swiftly pulled into a spot, practically jumping out of the van. He started walking over to the dock, A tired Fiddleford following. Rick ran up to the dock, although no one was there yet. He shrugged, sitting down on the old wooden planks that they called a dock. Fiddleford sat down next to him, his arms crossed.

They waited.. And waited… and waited.. But no boat ever showed up.

Rick looked around to see another dock about a mile away with… the Stan O' War! "Fiddlenerd, comon! I ssssee them!" Fiddleford looked over to where Rick was, almost instantly standing up and running as fast as he could.

Rick did the same, running all the way over to the other dock. He huffed and panted, but when he arrived, Stan went over, hugging him tightly. Rick hugged him back, heaving himself off the ground and wrapping his stick legs around Stan's middle. Rick looked over to see Ford and Fiddlenerd hugging tightly. Ford's face seemed to be red, but his attention was focused back onto Stan when he started kissing Rick's cheeks and neck. Rick grabbed Stan's chin, pushing him into his own face to kiss him. No words were exchanged from Stan to Rick during this, surprisingly. Fiddlenerd and Stanford though? They talked WAY too much for their own good. Rick and Stan kissed for a long time, Rick grabbing onto his partner a bit tighter. Once he backed off, he laid his head onto Stan's shoulder. "I will never admit too saying this.. But.. I really- I really did miss you, Lee." It felt good saying Stan's old nickname again. The shorter man smiled back. "Sappy asshat." He mumbled, digging his head into Rick's chest. Nothing mattered anymore. They were together, and nothing could stop them.

[janksfatass]

SMUT 18+

Summary: After your fling with Jake, he invites you to a party and things don’t go exactly as planned.

Warnings: nudes, alcohol, oral f rec, unprotected sex, romantic!josh

Word count: 2400

You finish typing up your fifth report for the day and look at the clock. Goddamn it. It’s only 4? Ok just one more hour until the weekend. You got this. You don’t have plans this weekend but you also don’t want to spend another second in the hellscape that is your job. You look around for something to do when you hear your phone chime.

Jake K. 4:11 P.M.

1 attachment

You open the message and quickly slam your phone down on your desk and look around to make sure no one is standing near you. You flip your phone back over to look at the most beautiful penis you’ve ever laid your eyes on.

“Ready for round 2 😏”

That cheeky bastard. You laugh to yourself before thinking of a witty reply.

“Wouldn’t the next time technically be round 3? 🤔”

You hit send and browse the internet while awaiting his response. Which will most likely involve a smart ass comment, coming from him.

Your phone chimes again.

Jake K. 4:18 P.M.

“I only came once. Come over tonight at 9. We’re having a small party. After a few drinks we can even the score? 👀”

“Deal.” You reply.

On your way home you think about what you’re going to wear. The dress made for easy access but this time you want to give him more of a challenge. You make a U turn at the next light and head to the mall for some light shopping.

When you arrive home, you head upstairs bags in hand. You set them down on your bed and pull out the black lace bra and panty set you selected specifically for Jake. It is his favorite color after all. Oh yeah, he’s going to go absolutely wild when he sees this. You reach into the other bag to lay out your chosen outfit for the night, a cropped black form fitting shirt with a deep v neckline and a pair of distressed dark blue skinny jeans. You figure your vans will pair well with it. You go to the bathroom to undress and pick up your phone. Maybe I should return the favor… You open your camera and snap a quick pic in the mirror to send to Jake. You jump in the shower and shave EVERYTHING in preparation for the night. When you get out, you check your phone.

Jake K. 8:46 P.M.

“Oh my fucking god. You are a goddess. Change of plans, party started an hour ago…”

You roll your eyes before responding,

“Be patient baby. Good things come to good boys who wait 😘”

After getting dressed, you decide to pull your hair into a half up bun and do loose curls on the bottom. For makeup, you go with a simple nude eye with slim winged eyeliner and a lip plumping gloss. Perfect. You spritz on a couple sprays of ‘Gucci Guilty.’ Then head out the door.

You arrive at Jake's shortly after 9:30 and park your car in the driveway. You walk up and press the doorbell. A few seconds later, the door swings open to reveal a wasted Sam.

“Jakey boy! Your lady has arrived.” He bows obnoxiously and motions you inside.

Jake shakes his head at his younger brother. “Dude, you’re fucking hammered. Maybe you need to lay down.” Jake pulls you in for a hug and plants a kiss on your cheek. “You look breathtaking, Angel.”

Pet names starting already? This man is killing me.

Sam stumbles forward a bit and flips Jake the bird and says, “Maybe you need to get laid.”

“Yea, that’s kind of the goal here.” Jake laughs and shoots you a wink. Sam wanders off. “So Jack and coke again?”

“Actually, do you have tequila?” You ask.

“Only the finest for you my dear.”

He leads you into the kitchen where you find Josh and Danny talking to some other guests.

Jake pours you both shots and begins cutting up a lime.

“Hey Y/N!” Josh shouts at you and barrels towards you wrapping you into a big hug. You laugh, surprised at his reaction to seeing you and pat him on the back.

Danny smiles and waves at you and continues his conversation.

“How long have you been here?” Josh asks you.

“Oh not long, maybe like 5 minutes or so.”

“Well, the party's just getting started. Oo tequila? My weakness.”

Jake pours a third shot for Josh and places all of them on the counter. He gives you your slice of lime and brings your hand up to his mouth. He licks a small area on the back of your hand and sprinkles sea salt on it.

“Alright, cheers!”

The three of you lick the salt off your hands, down your shots, and suck the limes.

A few shots and a few beers later, you find yourself sitting in the living room, Led Zeppelin blaring from the record player, next to Jake. All of you are sufficiently drunk. Some more than others.

“I’ll be right back, Doll.” Jake stands up and walks off.

“So having fun yet?” You hear Josh say as he plops down on the couch next to you and wraps his arm around your shoulders. He has a sparkle in his eyes and a shit eating grin on his face. His cheeks are tinged pink from the alcohol and body heat radiating in the room.

“Yeah, it’s so nice to relax like this after a long week.”

Josh scoots a little closer to you and places his other hand on your leg. You look up at him, somewhat taken aback.

“Oh, I’m sure. Always good to take care of yourself.” He says. “So, since my brother just disappeared on you, would you wanna go somewhere a little quieter? Just you and me?”

Any other time you would think Josh just wanted to talk. But right now, the look in his glassy eyes, tells you he has other things on his mind.

Josh IS extremely attractive. And sweet. And funny. And Jake and I aren't ‘exclusive.’ You think about it for a few more seconds and ultimately decide against it.

“Josh, you do know I’m seeing your brother?”

“Well yeah, but I didn’t think it was anything serious. You just look so gorgeous tonight. Well you do all the time, but I was picking my jaw up off the floor after I saw you walk into the kitchen earlier.”

You start to blush. And he definitely notices.

“I appreciate it, Josh. Really. That’s very sweet of you to say. I just don’t think it’s a great idea to hook up with my hook up’s twin. Rockstar or not.”

“Y/N, don’t sweat it. I figured I'd give it a shot because if I didn’t, I know I’d be kicking myself in the ass tomorrow.” Josh pats your knee and stands up to go find Danny and Sam. “I guess I’m gonna go on a hunt for Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dipshit.” He walks off.

You take a sip of your drink and decide it’s time to break the seal. You eventually find the bathroom. When you stand, the drinks you’ve had seem to catch up to you all at once. You’re not on the verge of being sick but definitely wasted. While washing your hands, you check yourself out in the mirror. Your hair is pretty much intact aside from some flyaways but your eyeliner is beginning to smudge and your lip gloss is all but erased. You smooth your hair down and touch up your makeup and head back to the living room.

Walking past everyone(albeit a tad clumsily) you seek out Jake but he’s nowhere to be found. You spot Danny and go up to him to ask, “Have you seen Jake anywhere?”

“Not in a while. He might have gone upstairs.” Then continues with his conversation.

You walk upstairs and down the hallway. You’re not sure which room is his. The first door you try looks to be an office. The next one, a bathroom. You make your way to the door at the end of the hall and when you open it, the lights are off but you see Jake passed out in bed. Apparently, someone drank a little TOO much. You kick off your shoes and strip down then climb into bed with him, deciding being the big spoon once wouldn’t hurt. You snuggle up to him and drape your arm over his waist. You close your eyes but your brain just doesn’t want to slow down. He promised me a round 3. You snake your hand down his hip and into his boxer briefs to find he is already hard as a rock. You stroke him gently and he starts to stir and mumble a bit.

“That feels so good mama.”

The man in the bed was not Jake.

Your previously half lidded eyes bolt open and you jerk your hand away.

Still laying away from you, “What’s the matter sweetheart? Was it something I said?” You can tell he is wearing a smug grin on his face.

“I thought you were Jake.”

He rolls over to face you. “You couldn’t tell that it wasn’t his cock that was in your hand?”

“I’ve had quite a bit to drink, I didn’t think you would be in bed. You said you were going to find, what was it? Oh. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dipshit.”

“I was but then I got really tired so I decided to just go to sleep. But I’m wide awake now.”

He takes his hand and slowly glides it over your hip. Maybe it was the alcohol, but feeling Josh’s touch sends chills down your body. You feel goosebumps beginning to form and your nipples harden.

“Would you like to finish what you started?” He asks in a low sleepy voice.

You think about it for a moment. Technically you ARE single, so you wouldn’t really be doing anything wrong.

“ONE time. And that’s it.” You state very firmly.

“Ok. I guess I need to make this one count then.” He grabs your shoulders and rolls you to your back and starts kissing from your collarbone, up your neck, and whispers into your ear, “I’m going to fucking devour that tight pussy, mama.” He sits you up for a second to unclasp your bra and kisses down your chest. Taking one breast in his hand, he rolls your nipple between his thumb and forefinger and pulls the other into his mouth. He sucks on it softly and flicks his tongue over the bud. He moves lower, kissing your stomach and above your pubic bone. He slips his fingers under the band of your lace panties and you lift your hips up for him. Your heart is beating out of your chest. Josh’s touch is much gentler than Jake’s. He seems to really put effort into making sure you feel good. He slides your panties off of you and spreads your legs. He cups his hands under your ass and licks up your heat before planting a kiss onto your clit. He flattens his tongue and licks you up and down in a rapid motion hitting your clit each time. Sucking and slurping on your lips, he uses his thumb to rub quick circles onto your clit. Replacing his thumb with his mouth, he slips a finger into you, immediately knowing where to target. You shift your legs a bit and let out a loud moan. “Fuck, Josh I’m going to cum!”

He lifts his head up for a moment, “Cum for me, mama. Look me in the eyes while you cum on my face. You taste so fucking good.”

Holding eye contact with you, he places his mouth back on your clit sucking it hard into his mouth while quickly flicking his tongue over it. High pitched moans escape from your body as you slip your fingers into his soft curly hair to attempt to pull him even closer. The building orgasm in your core has you grinding into his face. Josh can sense that you’re about to come undone. He grunts into you as his tongue picks up speed and the vibrations send you over the edge. “Josh oh my fucking god!” You scream out as you ride out your orgasm on his face. Your breath begins to slow and he lifts up from you, “Are you ready for me now baby?”

“Fuck yes, Josh, please I need it!”

He slips the head over you a few times before slowly sliding into you completely. You both moan from the feeling.

“You feel like heaven wrapped around my cock, Mama. So tight. It’s like your pussy was made for me.”

He leans down to kiss you and you open your mouth for him. His tongue gliding over yours. He starts fucking into you, slow but deep. Gradually, he picks up his pace and lifts one of your legs onto his shoulder. The new position has him driving into you even deeper, hitting your g spot with every stroke. You start spasming around him, your second orgasm quickly approaching.

“You gonna cum for me again, Princess? You can do it baby. I’m so close.”

He reaches down to rub tight circles over your clit and you let out an earth shattering moan as your orgasm drapes over you like a warm blanket.

“Don’t pull out. I want you to fill me. I want to feel it drip down onto my thighs.”

Your statement seems to have an effect on him because as soon as the last word escapes your lips, his movements slow until he comes to a complete stop. He pushes himself all the way into you one last time before pulling out.

Without a word, he gets up and goes into the bathroom and turns on the faucet to the bathtub. After a few moments he comes back into the room, scoops you up and carries you to the bathroom and sets you down into the warm water. He climbs in after you. You turn around and scoot up to him and lean back onto his chest.

“You are absolutely incredible, Mama. Has anyone ever told you that?”

You smile and reply to him, “Once or twice.”

[sydthetiel]

Update Time!

I'm not completely out of the woods yet, but some serious burdens/guilt have been lifted.

Family friend came again today, brought me another grocery order, which has a new can opener (this one better fucking work) and some more cold foods to last the week and stuff. Eggs, salad, etc. I can feel a little better about what I'm putting into my body besides canned crap, without having to spend hours to make it.

She helped me get a huge chunk done of what all those aides were supposed to do with me. We went through foods and organized, cleaned my "ration rack" (which is, as it sounds, a rack which holds the rations for days I can't get out of bed. Chips, crackers, croissants, poptarts, cookies, etc. All the snackies, and some extra drinks, so I no longer have to sleep with all of them.) Ahhh wonderful. It's also out of my path now for trying to get to my office where Syd is currently located. No more squeezing and side stepping. Mentally, that's a load off. Clutter and mess trigger my OCD bad enough to hit me real hard with depression and hopelessness. It's the biggest reason why hoarder Rex is so bad for me.

Syd's new water bowl came. As expected, it was too big to fit in such a tiny hospital cage. It was a two person job to take the top off and install it, and it takes up so very much of the cage. I held Syd, while friend put the top of the cage back on. The sight was so fucking depressing. Friend says to me "I'm gonna buy her a bigger cage." And of course, cages are expensive, so I told her that, and explained this one is so small because it's literally all I could afford, and I feel like the worst dad ever for it. And of course, at this point, we're both crying, because my baby girl deserves better than a tiny fucking cramped piece of shit where she can't even spread her fucking wings, but it's impossible to bring her home cage into my office. It ain't gettin' up the stairs, or through the doorways. Dear fucking gods, no. Friend insists, "We're gonna order a cage today, on your phone, before we leave." And she did. It'll be here in roughly a week. It should (better) be big enough, and it's quite lovely. It has a stand, so I can store her food and all that, and will make an exceptional hospital cage, where Bean can flap and be happy and well cared for. I am in fucking tears. Her gofundme is still up, for vet stuff, but this is fucking HUGE for us! She also said she'll take us to the vet for another Lupron injection, since Syd's horny again, and said she'd pay for the shot!! <333

Between sobbing about trying to figure out how to pay for van repairs, a new hot water heater, and a new furnace, and a shut off notice for the electric because once again Rex didn't pay it, not having to worry about shelling out an extra $100 or so on a hormone injection is just... such a fucking weight lifted.

On top of that, Daddy's getting some needs met, too now! She assembled my shoe rack! No more bending or tripping over all my shoes! They're right there! Aaaand I finally have my new massager. It's been sitting in a fucking filthy box for like two years, and she helped me get it clean, so now I have that. As soon as I got situated in bed tonight, I tried it out. The pleasure screams I felt as it massaged the knots out of my agonizing back and shoulders is just... oh gods. Probably sounded like a whole ass orgy up in here. Actual goddamn pain relief! PAIN RELIEF!!!!!!

I ate twice today, and finally had some decent hydration, too. Huge boost. I no longer detest the idea of my chicken and gravy tray. Meal plan for tomorrow!

Sunday, she's coming back, and we're gonna tackle some more stuff. I can't fucking wait. I mean, I would really love a weekend with my girlfriend, and some rest, but also, just... a clean environment is so fucking good for my mental health. And it makes me happy that they'll take all the outdated foods I won't eat, so I don't have to feel like a douchebag for wasting it and throwing it out. They're happy to eat it, and I feel like I can give something back for all the help, while also clearing out all the space.

We got a game plan for downstairs, and will start making dents in that.

But honestly... This huge chunk done today is... the kind of support I needed to feel like I might actually survive? I mean... it's still grim. The debts, the bills, the taxes not being paid. The gofundme is still just as fucking urgent as ever in order to not go homeless. In order to get heat and hot water and transportation back. But I don't feel quite as stranded and alone.

We most definitely still need like $2,000 for the van repairs, and $3,000 for the water heater and furnace, and uh... like $6,000 for the backed taxes and another $5,000 for this year's taxes.

But I don't have to cry about not being able to give Syd a better cage, or Lupron, and I have some better access for my own self care. Pain relief is so wonderful. Especially when healthcare providers are failing me so miserably.

Gofund.me ($5 min donation according to their standards) Other options (as much or as little as you can spare <3): Ven.mo: @rroche90 Pay.pal: Rory Roche (Can't miss my portrait of Dean Winchester!)

[nerd-at-sea5]

spam yellowjackets post

oh ok lottie you shouldn’t be peeing blood wtf

mari you’re 100% dying this ep i’m sure of it. but also good god i just wanna give her a hug

AKILAH AND NUGGET OMFG YES THIS IS ADORABLE AND ALSO SO HEARTBREAKING BUT I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

wait. wait what the fuck. what the fuck?!?! NUGGET?

‘jeff did not come thru on the phone sex thing’ van omfg i adore you

‘he was in there really deep’ WHY DID NO ONE MAKE A THATS WHAT SHE SAID JOKE AND TAI PLS TELL HER YOU HELPED BURRY A BODY

ok thank you van for being yourself i love you also the messed up hair in this scene is just. yes.

lisa just giving lottie a ‘bitch wtf is going on’ look i love her so much

tai and van acting like an old married couple WOAH TRANSITION GODDAMN hold up why does van look a lil evil rn

OH HELLO OTHER TAI

oh rlly so now we come up w the leather eating jesus a bit late for that huh?

NAT THATS YOUR GF NO but also yay nat/ben bff bonding i love it

she is jealous of lottie bc she wants to date lottie

don’t eat him pls

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK BLOOD?!?! WHAT

oh she’s so dead. mari you are so dead-

fuck callie and jeff goddamnit

this cop is a piece of shit i hate him

oh my god callie i love you so much

HE DID NOT GO THERE. FUCKING BITCH.

goddamnit why is misty so good at her job. this is so fucked up

‘we all need things we can’t have shauna’ *taivan camera focus*

MISTY WHAT THE FUCK

hey woah why are we insulting natalie and shauna here MISTY STOP KILLING PEOPLE

i need ben to survive i will sob so hard if he doesn’t.

JAVI NAT BONDING YESSSSSS I LOVE I LOVE

holy shit he’s actually apologizing. no don’t forgive him that fast omfg. damnit nat cmon.

LOTTIE DO NOT ASK THEM TO EAT YOU OMFG

BEN WHERE ARE YOU GOING

misty explain what she did to jessica and then lottie’s shocked face + van’s ‘hands tied joke’ omfg yes

oh their finding out who the blackmailer was

walter no walter no walter no walter no walter no

jeff’s gonna do something not good

WHAT THE FUCK SHAUNA WHAT IS HAPPENING WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK

ok it’s a nightmare? but still what the fuck

callie i love you

OH HE KNOWS ABOUT THE BABY. oh i’m gonna cry. i’m gonna fucking sob.

misty watch your fucking mouth-oh hey tai’s asleep. on nvm she not.

fuckkkkk tai….

oh my god van is the ONLY sane person here

lottie dude we have to talk about it listen to ur wife

oh my god stop killing people please

WHAT IS GOING O N I THOUGHT THERE WERE NO QUEENS IN THE DECK

also like some part of me is worried nat or van or two are gonna die but also like their NOT?

so now it’s just ben akilah and javi pls don’t die

shit natalie ik you survive but like fuck

OH SHIT SHES THE QUEEN IS SHE GONNA DIE WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

she HAS A KNIFE TO HER WHAT SHE SURVIVES THO

oh my god nat way to be a badass while shauna is abt to kill you but also not THE FUCKING TIME like it’s gonna work but DUDE

DID VAN JUST SNARL?!

ben?! OH TRAVIS FUCK MISTY STFU

jesus this is horrible why are they all doing this jesus christ this isn’t ok JAVI NO.

goddamn the one time she gets screentime in the last few eps she’s being fucking hunted

the only way i’m not sobbing rn is bc i know she survives bc we see older her. it’s fine everything’s fine. nat’s gonna kill someone tho. i’m sure of it. but fuck.

lottie no. lottie no. nope no. STOP. also van is gonna die. but no.

‘misty. ya did actually kill someone.’ yeah mood. OK LOTTIE SHE HAS CANCER

yeah van’s dying. or it’ll cure cancer.

he found javi’s hideout? lordy this is creepy as fuck

yo he’s talking what??? i love him

oh he’s dying. FUCK.

MISTY STOP WHAT THE FUCK oh god misty. god travis is going to never recover.

fuck. dude even shauna and van look disturbed.

nat pls punch someone. cmon. you deserve it.

[jander-sunstar]

Guardian

Written because VRGR’s tiny character blurb gave me just enough fodder to get curious about how certain things would have gone down. Containing: offscreen character death, resident Vampire Feelings, a handful of freshly minted Keeper-adjacent OCs, and one (1) infant.

Strictly speaking, Verna Florescu is not a witch. Witchery is for Vistani and hags, and the good people of Vallaki won't have truck with either of those thank you very much, so what Verna does is just… midwifery, yes. And if she also knows ways to cure headaches, and lameness, and does some weird tricks with an egg to diagnose the cause of your ills, well, that's just folk medicine is all. Perfectly normal, that, if a little bit less than respectable.

So Verna is not a witch, and she is definitely not a monster hunter, or whatever that Van Richten fellow gets up to when he's not being a hoity-toity doctor over in Mordent, but she's seen enough in her fifty-odd summers to know damn well that it's bad news when a vampire shows up on your doorstep in the middle of the goddamn night.

Worse still, is when the vampire is carrying a baby.

"I'm not letting you in," she snaps, occupying the whole of her doorway as if it's her body and not her forbiddance that will keep the elf – who looks like he's been dragged facefirst through a dogfight – from crossing the threshold. "Not until I get an explanation."

"You don't have to, just– take her, please." The vampire in question practically shoves the bundle he's carrying at her from the darkened porch. His cloak, from the looks of it, stained now and containing the barely-discernible form of a newborn. "She needs to be in the warmth, I–"

"Where is Astrid, Sunstar?"

That shuts him up. His perfect face, already panic-stricken, twists into fresh pain. "...ambush," he says, turning his face away from Verna's piercing gaze. "We were attacked on the road, and the baby came early. The stress, I think." He shakes himself, sharply, and thrusts the bundle at the open doorway again, "Please. I can't feed her…"

The infant is fussing now, wriggling in its swaddling and making the small, unhappy noises of newborn mammals everywhere. Shit, Verna thinks, all resignation, and deftly plucks the bundle from Jander's hands. 

First things first. Making the executive decision that no one in this household is getting any more sleep tonight, she hollers towards the bedrooms for Maeve to get herself out to the yard to coax what milk can be had from the ornery milch goat, Yulia to hustle over here and help her mama give this child a once-over, and Jacob as long as you're awake too you can do us a favor and build up the fire, and don't you ask no questions now. 

She ignores Jander entirely, front door still hanging open and the elven vampire hovering anxiously at the threshold. A quick but thorough inspection reveals the babe to be as healthy and whole as anyone could want. Not more than two hours old at most, and reviving some now that the warmth of the fire is chasing the night chill from her tiny limbs.

Maeve returns with the bowl half-full of milk, complaining that the damn goat tried to eat her nightdress, and Verna hushes her youngest and sets about re-wrapping the infant in cleaner, softer cloths than the vampire's discarded cloak.

Yulia, her immediate job done, clucks and moves for the door, muttering, "having him stand there as if the door ain't wide open, letting all the heat out. You," she addresses Jander, flatly ignoring her husband Jacob's gasp of alarm, "for the Lady's sake, get in here. No sense leaving you on the porch like a goddamn beacon."

Verna rolls her eyes at her middle child's impetuousness, but nods assent to Jander's questioning glance. So polite, acting like a real person instead of something literally kept at bay by permission refused. The elven vampire steps inside, closes the door behind him, and drifts anxiously to Verna's side. "Is… is she well?"

"Aye, she's well," is the brusque answer. "Here, Yulia, you want to be in charge so bad you can get some nourishment into the babe. You, Sunstar, I need to have a word with."

The child, swaddled now in fresh wrappings and clearly not understanding that a milk-soaked rag is food, is passed to Yulia. Jacob, peering over his wife's shoulder, swears aloud. "She's got teeth already! That's bad luck, a newborn with teeth."

Maeve socks her brother-in-law in the shoulder. "It's good luck, you fool. Means she'll be strong. 'Sides, it's only the two. Your nephew had that many when he joined the world, didn't he?"

Jander, hustled quickly out of the cluster around the hearth, catches sight of the child's mouth, opening to voice her own complaints about the situation. There are indeed a pair of teeth already present. The triangular corner teeth, to be exact.

A splinter of ice sinks into his gut like the hammer-blow of a stake. It can't be… no, no that's not possible. What he'd tried to do hadn't worked, Astrid had died mortal, there's no way…

There's no way. The possibility is crushed, mercilessly and without question. Verna said it herself, the child is healthy – if anything was wrong, she'd have seen it. It's just… a normal early teething, that's all.

"My eldest, Katerina, just had her first son a month ago," Verna is saying, having dragged him out of earshot across the warmly-furnished room. "She can take the babe. A foundling's a tall order around here, and an elfin one even moreso, but we can make it work. You, now, are going to need to make yourself scarce, you understand me?" She fixes Jander with the steely gaze of a woman who, for a good half-century, has been both bringing life into this world and ushering it out. Steady as a mountain and just as uncompromising. "I respect what you do, truly, but with Astrid gone I can't have you hanging around my family to bring the devil's attention down on us–"

"No," Jander blurts out, then backpedals hastily when Verna bristles like a queen cat on the warpath. "I mean– of course, I understand the danger, but– Verna, I promised. I swore I'd look after her." 

But Verna's shaking her head. "It's not possible, Sunstar. You're a magnet for trouble, what if whatever killed her mama tracks the babe here?"

Jander goes very still, in that way that only a thing without a beating heart can. "That won't be a concern," he says finally, and Verna recognizes the finality in that tone. That's one mystery solved, then.

"Regardless. You're not exactly subtle, looking like the Morninglord himself come calling," she presses on, and is somewhat gratified at the way Jander's deadly stillness crumbles into an abashed discomfort. By the hearth, Yulia calls for more goat's milk; the babe's gummed the rag dry and is fussing for more. A good sign, and a little bit of tension drains out of both vampire and midwife. Verna sighs.

"I'll make you a deal. Give us six months, we'll get the child established in Katerina's household, see if she can handle two mouths instead of one. If you must come play nursemaid over her, do it on the new moon – less of a chance of being seen. After that… we'll see." She gives him a sideways look. "You're not seriously wanting to have the raising of her yourself, are you? All due respect, but…"

She leaves the rest of the sentence unsaid, but Jander's mouth goes wry in recognition. His life is not exactly conductive to childrearing. "I… I don't know. I've never… I mean, children aren't exactly my strong suit." He swallows, shaking off the creeping tendrils of grief threatening to slither up his throat. "But I promised. She made me swear, before she… I promised."

That seems to be the limit of the elf's thinking; he promised, so it will be done. Verna sighs again, shaking her head.

"Like I said, we'll see. She shouldn't be moved until she's on solids at least. Do you even have somewhere to keep her? A house, anything?"

"No, not… maybe…" Jander says distantly; there's wheels turning behind those eyes, gazing across the room at Yulia arguing with her sister to go milk the horse, then, if the goat's dry, or run across town and wake up Katerina, I don't care, the babe wants more. Verna could swear she sees ideas rising inside Jander's mind. Lathander above, there's really no stopping him is there.

The bickering from across the room reaches a predictable pitch. "Here, Ma, have a look – Yulia, stop fussing, its fine. A few hours till dawn isn't gonna kill her, she drank that whole bowl and that was more than plenty." Verna adopts the longsuffering expression of a career mother and stalks over to inspect the situation. Jander, refocusing on the present, follows.

Objectively, all babies are ugly. It's just a fact, no one's at their best when they've been freshly evicted out into the cold, unpleasant world, unmoisturized and half-awake. But Jander, whose eyes have always gravitated towards beauty, cannot look away.

She's so small, so bright; the future personified. All that's left of her mother. His bruised and aching heart contracts again; he can still taste Astrid, thick coppery redness sticking to his gums and the back of his throat, why did he think it would have worked, it's never worked, he–

The baby wriggles, spits, scrunching up that red and perfect face and making it very clear to everyone in the room that she is not happy. "Lord," Verna clucks over the wailing, "she's going to be a right terror isn't she. I thought elvish babies were supposed to be little angels from day one."

Jander's grief recedes, suddenly. Something is reorienting inside him, a shift– he scrubs at one eye, abruptly, tears threatening to give him away.

She's safe. She's safe, and he's never going to leave her unprotected.

"Does she even have a name?" Verna asks, pacifying the babe with long practice and a bit of cloth to chew on.

"Savra," Jander says softly. "Her mother named her Savra."

[apolloanddaphnis]

Gypsy

This is going to be a multi chapter fanfiction and the first writing I've done in a while that I'm really proud of.

It's named after a Dio song and kinda referencing my main OC, Laurie Koszka's journey.

It takes place in a no upside down universe, in 1987 Hawkins.

It's about a very pretty boy, finding his father in Hawkins, maybe gaining a new sibling and definitely finding more...

It's an Eddie Munson x Male!OC story.

Warnings: Smut, blow jobs, slight dom!Eddie, definitely bottom!sub!oc, anal play, slightly rude Hawkins resident, adult language. Minors stay far away DNI!

Hawkins, Summer 1987

Indiana summers aren't forgiving.

They're blistering with thick, humid air, the kind of heat you shouldn't experience until four, especially dogs, kids, and old folk.

It's when your car becomes your enemy, seats that stick to your skin, broken AC, the metal of your seat belt branding you like you're a goddamn cow.

No one in their right mind would ever be out in Hawkins, Indiana at one in the afternoon during the last week of July…which is probably why it makes perfect sense for Eddie Munson to be the lone driver out and about, not another pair of wheels in sight, not even a bike.

The dirty windows of his black van were rolled down as Rebel in the F.D.G. blared through the empty back roads of Hawkins. A camel cigarette dangled from the metalhead's lips as he sang along to the heavy metal anthem. Gone was his usual jacket and Hellfire shirt the super senior wears like a uniform, he traded it in for a homemade cut off, faded black  muscle tee that showed his midriff in certain poses, and ripped faded blue jeans with a studded belt to hold them up.

The only thing that kept him cool was the cooler filled with ice and budweiser in the back, but Eddie found the Sahara heat freeing. Barely anyone was out, now being treated like the leper of town, that was pretty nice, and people like Jason Carver of the Hawkins' Carvers, and the other Lacoste wearing peacocks of Loch Nora were too busy vacationing in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. Four hours away from Eddie, he could breathe for a good two and half months out of the year.

He sped up a bit for the hell of it, screaming along with Blackie Lawless when he came to an abrupt stop with a thoroughly real scream. He almost hit something, no…not something…someone.

There standing in the middle of the road before Eddie's big black van was a girl. 

Short in stature in a red, drop waist sundress with the tied strap falling off her shoulder that was broad for her dainty frame.

She was beautiful.

More beautiful than any girl on the centerfolds that were pasted to his walls at home. 

Huge, red lips parted in confusion as dark doe eyes squinted due to the sun beaming in her eyes. Oddly her eyebrows made him think of Madonna, boyish but pretty enough to enhance her lidded doe eyes. Her jaw was wide and strong, almost boyish masculine but her face still soft. Framing an almost heart shaped yet ovalish face and broad shoulders were wild, strawberry blonde curls, some loose and almost wavy, some ringlet-y, and cut in layers. 

God, Eddie didn't believe in him much but he actually prayed to him that he didn't hurt this angelic creature. No, angelic was too generic and that wasn't her, she is anything but generic and usual. She was like a small fay creature, like the beauty of an elf but height and hair from a halfling parent, nymph-like even. Someone out of his fantasy novels, someone out of his invented realms of Dungeons and Dragons.

Shit, she's got him rambling in his head now.

He quickly shut off the van and climbed out, scrambling over to his confused nymph, his Reebok aggressively hitting the crumbling road that needed some serious repair.

As he made his way closer to her, he was in awe at the sun giving her strawberry blonde hair flecks and streams of a sort of platinum strawberry and white gold as well as creamy orange, so very pretty but also natural.

As he got closer he also saw how ill fitted her red sundress was, so ill fitted that her nipple slipped out…her puffy, raspberry colored yet obviously very boy nipple…his eyes moved up to her throat where an Adam's apple bobbed.

His nymph was a he.

The girl Eddie felt such a strong attraction to, even more so than any playboy bunny and Chrissy Cunningham…was…is a boy.

Deep honey-brown eyes flickered around a little nervous but still confused before looking up at him again, like a startled fawn.

Eddie knew he looked intimidating and took no offense.

He took in the pretty, girlish boy, (still trying to wrap his head around the fact that he is in fact not a she.) With wonder. Headphones circled his swan-like neck, scraped knees and red cowboy boots, the dress was kind of short and with the hardly there breeze Eddie was hypnotized by the rose boy's thighs. They're nice enough for Eddie to know he hasn't been on the road for long, but the pretty boy does look hungry and so exhausted. The metalhead just wanted to get him a burger from Benny's and put him down for a nap in his bed.

The boy looked down and his honey-brown eyes widened adorably making Eddie melt, he made him melt more than this goddamn July heatwave. 

"You don't look like you know where you're going." 

The boy looked around before fixing his dress nervously clutching the strap of his backpack. "You gonna jump me?"

His voice was soft for a boy, pretty and musical. Like an ingenue. Eddie would give away his Sweetheart to hear it again.

"No, I mean, I guess I can see why you would think that." He then looked down at his sneakers that crushed the dirt before looking at the boy. "Why do you think that? Why would you I mean– like what is it about me?"

The boy looked perplexed that he was being asked that, especially that Eddie asked him so nervously. He brushed his honey blonde curls out of his face, Eddie noticed that cherry red nail polish was chipped on slightly manicured nails. Even his hands are pretty. 

"Well," the boy began but Eddie interrupted abruptly which caused the docile young man to jump. "What's your name?"

He answered immediately, obediently almost. "Laurie."

"Laurie? That's a girl's name right?" Eddie didn't ask in a demeaning way, just curious because he thought Laurie was a boy. But he read something in the magazine, where sometimes guys will dress like women and actually prefer to be seen as a woman. That was pretty cool to Eddie, Laurie could definitely be a woman.  

"Well, Laurie in Little Women is a boy." 

Eddie furrowed his eyebrows. "What's Little Women?''

"A book. It's about four sisters and they have a friend that's a boy named Laurie, it's a nickname because his last name is Laurence."

"Is your last name Laurence?"

"No, but my first name is Laurel, like the plant."

"Laurel?"

He nodded. "Laurel Poet Koszka."

Eddie felt lucky knowing this beautiful boy's name. "Laurel Poet? Parents are hippies?"

He smiled and it made the metalhead's knees go weak. "My mom is, I don't know a lot about my dad…yet." He looked ahead. 

"You need a place to crash, Laurel Poet?"

Laurie looked up at the curly-haired metalhead with wide eyes, his plush lips parted. "Are you offering? I didn't know Midwestern men were so gallant." He said with the tone of an actress and a teasing smile.  "And it's Laurie, just Laurie."

"Some of us are, we aren't all corn eating hicks." Eddie teased. 

Laurie giggled, the sound was like bells. "It's just a very conservative part of America, and I'm well…a conservative's worst nightmare obviously. "

Eddie went over and took Laurie's bag, leaning in and their chests almost pressed together, his dark chestnut curls brushing against Laurie's naked shoulder.

The two boys are looking into one another's eyes for a heated moment before Eddie pulls back with the backpack. "Yeah, well neither am I." He walked toward his beast of a van to toss the bag in. "Where are you from, California?" He then nodded for Laurie to follow, which he did.

Eddie went to the passenger side and opened the door for Laurie, as he climbed up he helped him. He's a delicate little thing and he didn't want him to lose his footing. Helping him up, Eddie saw up Laurie's soft, sun-kissed thighs, and a pair of baby pink panties with icing blue lace trimming. 

His mind went blank for a moment, totally short-circuited, and entered the dangerous town of bonerville, imagining his face buried between those thighs–

"New York, can't you tell by the accent?"

He snapped out of his dirty daydream, chastising himself, he didn't even know how old Laurie was. He felt like a creep. 

"Uh, no I mean it sounds Northeast but kinda Mid-Atlantic, like in the movies." He then moved to get in on the passenger side once Laurie was safely in. 

"That's my fault, I  watch those movies for hours, wanting to sound like Elizabeth Taylor or Audrey Hepburn."

"Oh, why?" 

"I wanted to sound beautiful. " Laurie said it in a faraway voice looking out the window. Eddie reached over to buckle him in. Laurie found himself liking to be in close vicinity of this stunning man, his savior, his knight in Dio and denim.  He smiled up at him getting lost in his big dark eyes. "What a gentleman. "

Eddie swallowed and he felt the tempting faunlet watch his Adam's apple bobbed up and down. "How old are you? Me being a gentleman depends on the answer."

"Nineteen, I have my I.D. if you don't believe me officer." He said seductively. Laurie fluttered his long curly lashes, his soft hand laid against the center of Eddie's chest. Eddie couldn't tear his eyes away from his gorgeous, pillowy lips. Laurie smiled a little toothy, he has a pretty gap between his two front teeth and a missing molar, it makes him look impossibly more beautiful. "I believe you."

"Well isn't that a relief." Laurie's laugh was breathy. He was pressed back against the comfortable and worn seat of the van that smelled of weed, cheap cigarettes, a forgotten car freshener, and the faint scent of old spice.  It was comforting.

Eddie cleared his throat and pulled back to start the van and turn on the radio. "Let's get you something to eat first."

Laurie smiled at Eddie And chewed on a lock of his hair and looked out the window. "What a gentleman." He said in wonderment.

But Eddie's thoughts were anything but.

–

Laurie felt like he was in one of those movies. 

Like Betty Blue, or something.

He sat across from Sir Eddie the Good Knight (what he calls him in his head) at the little diner table at Benny's. 

John Cougar Mellencamp played because naturally, it was 1987 in Indiana. What town was this again, Lafayetteville? He was staring up at his good knight, who stuck out like a beautiful sore thumb in this sleepy town, towering in ripped denim and metal t-shirts and long, gorgeous chocolate churlish waves. He looked like the boys on his walls that he would say his 'prayers' to every night…or used to. 

They hadn't ordered yet, no waitress came over yet and Eddie and Laurie were simply too busy staring at one another.

Eddie isn't straight.

That much is evident.

Thank God for that. 

Laurie doesn't know how he was able to get so far from New York dressing how he looks, how he does, as a boy. He is a boy, some of his moms friends are transsexuals, beautiful mermaidlike. People always assume he's not, especially with his name. But Laurie is a popular boy name with Scottish men. But Laurie isn't Scottish, his mother Elzbieta "Liz" Koszka, is a first generation Polish-American from Haddonfield, New Jersey. She got accepted into Columbia University majoring in Creative Writing, with dreams of becoming a Poet. And her poems were and are very beautiful. A typical hippie of her generation, dropped out after her first year and squatted in an apartment not too far from where Laure grew up. Liz went to every protest and was in a polygamous relationship with her roommate Paula Bloom and her boyfriend who was in a psychedelic band, Jack. But at a party she met a romantic African-American bohemian who loved poetry as much as she did and they bonded over Hendrix and nine months later when Laurie was born, Charles Sinclair got a great accountant job in Indiana and married a Sue Sinclair living happily ever after with a perfect family.

Laurie looked mostly like his mother, same colored golden strawberry blonde hair only instead of straight hair his were wild curls, instead of a porcelain complexion his was always sun-kissed, a true beige. But he has her freckles, his honey brown eyes are neither mother nor father, but the shape of wide and naturally sleepy looking belong to Liz while hers are blue. His nubian nose is Charles Sinclair's. His lips are too, Lush and full but red like his mother's. She always told him he's so pretty because of his father's side, never hiding who his father was.

Liz is still a very liberal woman, at nearly forty and still her petite figure, she still pays the same rent for her Greenwich Village two bedroom apartment that she did back in '68. A part time dance instructor for children and a hairdresser sometimes while a massage therapist on occasion. Usually in between dating, never liking to be settled down and owned by a man, now Liz is surprisingly in a serious relationship with Harry Rosenberg, a high school algebra teacher.

Laurie likes Harry a lot, he's very nice to his mom and because his brother bat's for the same team, he is a househusband while his husband owns a decorating business and they live happily in a luxury apartment on the upper west side, Harry has absolutely no issue with Laurie. He even took Laurie to see Lés Miserables for his birthday in February, and the Nutcracker ballet for Christmas. Harry is always there for him and his mom, he loves the man like a father, but he had to know his real one. His mother agreed, saying this is his visionquest. 

Now he's here sitting across the most gorgeous and dazzling man he has ever laid eyes on. Who rescued him off the side of the road.

Maybe, just maybe, Laurie might be in love.

"You never told me your name." Laurie said.

Eddie's eyes widened in realization, such big eyes he has. "Oh shit, I'm sorry that was-wow, I'm not always so rude I'm so sorry–" Eddie couldn't help himself but ramble. Laurie loves his rambling, he also loves that Eddie treats him like a lady. Like when he helped him into the van like it was his noble steed and when he opened the door of Benny's for him, and how he made sure he sat in the booth first even though he was sitting across from him. And now he was apologizing incessantly for not introducing himself. "It's Eddie, Eddie Munson."

Eddie, the most perfect name to Laurie now.

A middle aged woman with a sweet smile came over with a name badge that read Iona. "Your usual, Munson?"

"Yeah do your worst Iona, and uh the same for my lovely company here." He winked at Laurie who was surprised about how brazen Eddie was about having a boy as company in broad daylight in Cornville, Indiana. But judging by how Iona handled it, and how the few other patrons glared at Eddie when they walked in, Laurie was starting to think his knight was a social outcast and a proud one at that.

He smiled. "What's your usual?"

"The Benny burger which is two cheeseburgers, lettuce, tomato, onion, and their special sauce, a side of onion rings and my usual always comes with a peanut butter banana milkshake with chocolate drizzle."

Laurie's stomach growled in appreciation, he ran out of money and was starving.

"That meet your approval, princess?"

Laurie giggled and nodded.

Suddenly, as How Much I Feel played on the jukebox, Laurie's eyes slid over to the average looking straight couple in the corner booth. They're not extraordinary looking or anything, but Laurie heard them and he heard them order. The guy ordered a peppermint tea because his girl's got cramps. The girl looked over at him with a smug expression on her face before returning her attention to her cooing boyfriend. 

She was rubbing it in his face, like what he will have with another man will never be real because of the small details of being a woman like menstrual cycles and pregnancies, that women are biologically engineered to be taken care of its in men's DNA to protect them, what man has the urge to take care and protect another man like that? Like no matter how many dresses he wears or how much revlon he puts on his face, how small and delicate he is or acts, and no matter how many times he bends over, no man not even Eddie the Good Knight will never have the natural instinct to protect to take care of or breed Laurie.

It was a sad thought he constantly always had, and even in the small gay media and the boylove books he reads in the park, it never portrays queenie boy's like himself.  It's always two masculine men in love and taking turns taking one another. It would be ridiculous to have a top and a bottom where the bottom was girlish and only liked to be fucked and not to fuck, and wanted to be treated like a lady. No, feminine gay men are only sassy jokes used as women's purses. Because how dare a man have the audacity to be feminine and try and be like a woman? What would a man know what it's like? 

Life wasn't fair sometimes. Reality wasn't an option for Laurie, he preferred fantasy.

When he looked up back at Eddie, he found those doll-like dark eyes staring at him with a tilt of his lip. "Do I have something on my face?" Laurie asked.

Eddie nodded and Laurie felt embarrassed until he interrupted the feminine boy's racing thoughts. "Very kissable lips, and I can't stop wondering if they taste as cherry as they look." He grinned, the man has no shame.

Laurie giggled toothy and his curls fell in his face. Eddie never saw anything so beautiful.

He then got up a little to lean in, but Iona was back with their food so Eddie sat back down, smirking at his boy.

"Thank you Iona." Laurie said softly. 

The woman with the acrylics looked pleased at Laurie's politeness. He has a new york accent and folk around here assumed that meant no manners, she was happy to learn that wasn't true.

"Were you born and raised here?" Laurie asked before taking a bite into his burger, it had to be the best one he ever had, even better than the ones he had at the meat counter at Macy's butcher shop on Herald Square.

Eddie's cock twitched in his jeans as he watched Benny's sauce dripped down those succulent lips. He was jealous of that sauce, he wanted to be that sauce. "Unfortunately. " he answered, voice strain. "How's the burger?"

Laurie moaned, and Eddie sucked in a breath. His moans are naturally pornographic, soft and dainty sounding too, silkier and prettier than any girls which surprised him.

"It's the best I ever had."

Eddie whined. "Sweetheart, you can't go saying things like that!"

Laurie giggled again which made it worse. "Your accent is so cute."

"My accent?"

Laurie nodded. "Kinda has a country twang, especially when you whine." His eyelashes fluttered and he dipped a fry in mayo before eating it.

Eddie didn't even realize he had an accent, then again he has never left Indiana.  Hardly left Hawkins unless it was for Indianapolis for concerts. "Why do you dip your fries in mayo?"

"Oh, well it's so good, my mom does it. She went to Paris when she was pregnant with me and ate them like this all the time. She tells me that's why."

"That's so cute." Eddie teased.

Laurie laughed and hid his face behind his hair before chucking a fry at Eddie. "Is not!"

"It is and you are, and now you need to convince me that this concoction isn't gross. Feed me!"

Laurie giggled and took Eddie's plate and made a dip of mayo and dipped the fry in before getting up. "Open up." 

Laurie missed the look Eddie gave him when he said that, but the metalhead opened his mouth nonetheless and Laurie slid the mayo-dipped fry in his mouth. He watched Eddie as Eddie watched him. Laurie fantasized for a moment, a habit of his. He'd love to be doing this in their kitchen.

"No offense pretty boy, but that tasted awful."

Laurie laughed, the magic was broken. "Yeah, it's an acquired taste. Kind of like me."

"Mm no, you're like this burger."

"Fat?" Laurie lifted his dress a little to show his thighs, he hates them, too soft. 

Eddie frowned. "I was gonna say that it is universally delicious, don't insult yourself Sweetheart. I won't let you, you're soft and sexy. I love watching you walk…" he trailed off.

Laurie blushed.  "You just met me, how do you know if you like watching me walk?"

"It only takes one time to know."

Laurie's heart was racing.

Eddie stared him right in the eye before his eyes drifted down to his nipples that hardened beneath the thin, red sundress. "Ready for me to take you to my place?"

Laurie nodded, knowing what Eddie was asking.

Eddie paid the bill and tipped Iona, he yanked Laurie out the door as Laurie thanked her. He dragged him to his van and decided he couldn't wait until he got to his trailer, he helped Laurie up into the back of his van and closed the doors.

He pushed Laurie down on the blankets and his mouth seized his plump, gummy red lips. They tasted better than he fantasized, he sucked on them like they were Haribo. He felt dizzy and he was hard as rock and felt little Laurie's hardness too. 

With all his will and a snarl, Eddie ripped his lips off of Laurie's.  He was panting and so was Laurie, he pressed his forehead against his and opened his eyes to peer down into the pretty pair of doe, honey-brown. "You've got Bambi eyes."

Laurie smiled. "So do you."

"Well then I guess that makes you Faline."

"Who?"

"Bambi's girlfriend at the end of the movie."

Laurie burst into laughter. "You're the only person in the world, Eddie Munson, that would remember that detail." He pressed a kiss to Eddie's throat so gently causing a guttural moan to escape from Eddie's lips. "Why did you stop?" He whispered.

"I was gonna ask, before you distracted me with those Faline eyes-" Laurie laughed at that, and Eddie brushed a golden strawberry ringlet out of his face. "Are you okay with this?"

Laurie nodded and Eddie cupped his jaw. "I need words, pretty boy."

Laurie flushed. "Yes, Eddie." No guy has ever double checked with him, who was this guy? Laurie wondered.

Eddie claimed his mouth again and Laurie forgot every word in the English language except for Eddie. He cupped the back of his neck and slid his fingers into his curls. Eddie opened Laurie's sweet mouth with his pistoning tongue. Sweet moans were muffled with Eddie's vehement almost punishing kisses. His large hands roamed Laurie's small body, he's so much smaller than Eddie, he noticed and the thought made him squeeze the fat of Laurie's hips as he sucked on his sweet tongue.

Laurie was having another dizzy spell thanks to his knight with the Chevy van steed. A pathetic whimper was swallowed from the beautiful metalhead as Laurie felt his entire soul being sucked out through his tongue, and when neither of them could no longer breathe, Eddie's plush lips moved down Laurie's sweet smelling neck. It was musky a little from a day without bathing, but he also smelled some sweet rosy perfume and something earthy and sweet and very Laurie. He couldn't get enough of the taste and sucked him so hard you'd think he was an octopus. 

He pushed up his red dress above his sweetly soft thighs, above his French cut dainty panties. The air was deliciously thick in his van and Eddie let out a weak groan when Laurie, with his large doe eyes and pouty parted lips, spread his legs for him.

"Good boy." It came out hoarse and desperate, and he lowered himself to caress those tender thighs before pressing little kisses against his inner thigh, as he grasped and possessed his outer. Eddie's large, ring adorn fingers cupped Laurie's shapely backside as he aggressively nuzzled the little prince's hard excitement through the panties, up to the exposed, weepy, rosy tip. He let out an animalistic growl causing Laurie to gasp and it sounded like Chantilly and falling petals, his small fingers grasping Eddie's curls causing the larger man to groan in beastly rapture.

Eddie licked and sucked the feminine boy's hardness through the baby pink panties, Laurie was whimpering and crying for him, "Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, please!" He begged weakly.

Usually, he would play with his food, but he didn't know how long his gypsy was sticking around and had to indulge him. "Spoiled little baby, getting what you want right away." He growled as he ripped the panties in two causing his baby boy to gasp audibly.

Eddie didn't waste a moment more before spitting a wad into Laurie's aching little cock and then stroking it in his big hands as he took his little sacks into his mouth. Sucking like his life depended on it, and Goddamn with the saliva mixed with Laurie's sweet and salty pre-cum dripping down so messy, and the taste of his tender skin, Eddie loved the taste more than any pussy he has ever had.

This was his first time tasting a man, even ever being intimate with one. Sure he's always been curious but never enough to do anything, but Laurie is just so pretty and soft and delicate, you could see right through him, he'd make a terrible criminal. And he's so easy to break. He's like glass.

"Oh f-my- Eddie! I-I- so good, so good, so good, so good!" His voice got higher and higher and higher as he rolled his hips against his lover. Eddie released his balls with a loud, sticky, smack, before sucking onto Laurie's rosy, wet tip and easily taking his little cock all the way in. Sucking and bobbing his head up and down like he was born to do this. Rolling his sopping wet and sticky cinnamon bun balls like they were dice, but nice and slow as he took his cock down his throat.

Laurie's eyes rolled back and the straps of his sundress fell down his shoulders low enough to expose his hard, puffy, raspberry nipples. "Eddie please don't stop, please don't go, I'll be so good so good for you so good, oh my stars, oh, oh, oh, oh!"

Eddie knew by the sound of his boy's babbling that he was near. He gathered the spit and pre-cum mix, forcibly spread his baby boy's fat ass cheeks and rubbed his little rosebud with his wet soaked thumb. It caused Laurie to jump a bit and shiver so deliciously, begging with a breathy yes. "Yes, yes, yes, I'll do anything-just yes!" 

Eddie was humping the floor of his van aggressively as he suckern that cock so deep and slowly rubbed his soaked thumb inside of Laurie's tight ring of muscle.

He peaked up to see Laurie wince as he gasped, and saw the haze of pleasure that passed over his pretty face. His boy is a pain slut? God, he was right out of his dreams wasn't he? Turning up out of nowhere in the middle of the road. Who knew he'd be on his back with his legs spread all for Eddie's deep pleasures and desires he didn't even know he had.

He slowly worked his thumb in, thrusting nice and easy and fuck is this not the tightest hole Eddie ever has felt.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, oh fuck!" Finally, Laurie elicited a swear word so sweetly from his lips when Eddie's long, thick thumb managed to hit that special spot deep inside of his bum. Like a volcano, Laurie erupted inside of Eddie's mouth, and it tasted like the nectar of the Gods. He swallowed every drop, it's far too precious to allow it to spill.

Laurie collapsed back onto the floor of the van, feeling boneless and empty-headed and beautifully ruined.

Eddie moved up to lie down beside him with a big grin stretched on his face. "You still there, princess?"

Laurie giggled and he sounded high. He nodded weakly. "Kind of, maybe just physically, spiritually I'm elsewhere." He said dreamily.

God he's so cute. Eddie thought to himself.

The metalhead looked over at him, strawberry blonde ringlets fanned around him looking like Sleeping Beauty. He wrapped an arm around his little waist and pulled him close, his hand resting comfortably on his rump as Laurie tucked his angelic head unto Eddie's chest. Eddie heard a gasp from Laurie and saw his boy looked down. "You came in your pants?" He sounded very surprised.

"Hey, that's not a regular thing, sweetheart. Just never had dessert that sweet after a meal."

Laurie giggled, he felt pretty incredible for having that effect on such a man.

He felt him shuffle and the spell was broken as Eddie made to get up. "Should probably get the hell outta here before Hopper knocks on the windows." He started dressing Laurie again but put his ruined panties in his back pocket.

"What, is cock sucking in a diner parking lot in the middle of the day frowned upon in Lafayette?" 

Eddie thought his delicate voice sounded funny and sort of hot when saying naughty words, and was going to say so until he realized his boy got the town name wrong. He chuckled.  "Wrong city baby, you're in Hawkins."

Blush settled attractively on his cheeks. "Oh, sorry, I was thinking of where Axl Rose is from." He said before moving to the passenger seat.

And Eddie did a double take. "Wait, you're a metalhead?"

[missmonsters2]

KDRAMA ADWJEJ I REMEMBER MY KDRAMA ERA. I would cringe so hard at some of them but get so hyperfocused with some others.

YES I KNOW. I was so scared she was gonna cancel it because she didn't want me to infect her with whatever I had. I had a.. how do you call the thing that you use to cover your nose and mouth. Well, that thingy- un tapabocas csm with me because I always have one with me just in case. Btw I got covid like 3 times, at least I know it's not it (I do hope so at least)

Look, here's the thing. People can have a good heart and not the necessary ability to do some stuff. But what really matters is the intention, the good gesture... It was possibly the worst tea I ever had but I already adore her so her tea is the best thing ever ok. Do you know what's the worst thing? that she said she worked in a cafe before. I am both worried about her economical situation at that point and the customers JAKDWKLELKQWQKL

NO. Coco is actually a boxer!! I have now claimed him as my best friend MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.

I know, Van, I know. What the fuck did I ever do to deserve her? I swear I can't be happier right now. AND VAN. SHE HUGGED ME JQEKWQ. AND PUT HEr HEAD ON MY SHOULDER. Ok you already know I probably don't touch grass so guess when was the last time I hugged someone. Oh boy was it awkward at first but it felt so good and she smelled like coffee candies

Thank you Van!!! Thank you so so so much. AND HEY. I'll be praying (the fact I'm not religious) you get all the good good things you deserve! Honestly, I'll be plotting universe's downfall if you don't get good things only. It's a real threat. Behold!!!

(guess who didn't sleep because her neighbors were fucking at 3 am in the morning and ended up learning - unwillingly, might I add - that her neighbors have the most fucking random fetishes ever. I will never get over the fact that my neighbor calls her husband kitten as the I fuck I swear I came home from work to eat before going to the gym and I was traumatised enough to be afraid of the slightest noise goddAMN)

i still love kdramas LOL there's something about waiting 30 episodes for a dead fish lip kiss. Slay LOL although the newer ones be more spicy or more intense themed.

she really said no i don't care <3 and that's so cute of her. She's obv crazy for you!! (also i think you're refering to a face mask??)

LMFAO NOT THE WORST TEA YOU EVER HAD AND ROASTING HER PREVIOUS JOB. I'm telling on u 🤣

getting close to the dog, smart move. I would also do the same thing

ah yes, another touched-starved indivdual. except you aren't anymore. congrats on leaving the club 👏👏

Honestly, I've just been chilling LOL i make jokes about wanting a gf but i actually am not convinced i have the time to be dating. Pray i get to buy a house in the next 3 years in our economy instead pls LMFAO

NOT YOUR NEIGHBOURS NON-CONSENUALLY ADDING YOU TO THEIR NIGHTTIME ACTIVITES. I'm so sorry bestie. I hope u never have to bump into them LOL hope you've been getting sleep!!

[returntosaturn271995]

April 18th: Totally fricken’ pissed

Trying to be funny but today is absolute bullshit. There’s a child screaming nearby like the world is ending and I appreciate his honesty. 

Things that shouldn’t have me enraged but somehow have me insane 

1.  ChicExecs took my 10 page presentation and never emailed me back. I added a negative review to Glassdoor (among many already there) and somehow that just made me angrier?

2. My interview (the third one) with Diff Eyewear was disorganized and I felt like the execs were sexist despite reaching out to me on Linkedin. GOD. Job hunting is bleak. 

3. Marvelous Mrs. Maisel hasn’t been good since season 2

4. Pretty sure Effexor withdrawal gives me vivid nightmares and night sweats. 

5. Now that Scott’s back in Austin he never reached out again. Which is weird because he basically wanted to marry me before. I guess pussy power is about proximity.  

6. James hasn’t reached out since our date last week. After all the stuff he said about being in to me. Maybe he’s just a bad texter because he’s always been like that but still. Am I allowed to be angry? Why does this make me like him more when two weeks ago I wasn’t even sure if I was that crazy about him?

7. I got drunk and sent my college roommate a nice text wishing her well on her engagement. Ugh I’m lame. No, she did not respond. 

8. Kate’s had a dude here for two days straight and he keeps using my and Hannah’s bathroom. He goes through toilet paper at an alarming rate. He’s either buidling a mummy costume or Kate’s dating another dude who lives in his van. 

9. Kara Godfrey. She’s just a shitty friend. And she reminds me of a lot of shitty friends. So I project a lot of anger at the idea of her. Sara sent us both a text today, which was actually very sweet of her. I’ll try and focus on that.

10. Is it me? Why does it feel like it’s me? And why hasn’t therapy made me less annoying yet? I know I’m supposed to FEEL better, but I would sure love to be treated better and somehow deemed lovable. All this anger is more perceived rejection than anything else. So maybe it’s a good sign it pisses me off. Because honestly I’ve been working hard on myself goddamnit. I’m having my back here. 

11. I was pretty shitty at yoga today. Maybe I’ll give it another shot now that I’ve hopefully journaled a chunk of my crazy out. 

12. Once James messaged me and said “Why are you acting like a stranger?”. When he was the one who hadn’t reached out after our first date. 

13. I still haven’t made the goddamn smoothie I promised myself I would make. I bought the ingredients Saturday. Maybe I’ll put on a murder podcast and TRY. 

14. I was reading about Joe Biden and his first wife died in a horrible car crash right before Christmas that also took the life of his daughter.  Yes, it was 50 years ago. Yes, I already new about this. But now I’m downloading his autobiography and just lamenting the fact the BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE AND DONALD TRUMP GETS TO DO WHATEVER THE FUCK HE WANTS.

15. Made the mistake of thinking too long on my walk home about a guy who took sexual advantage of me in college and realized that’s why I can’t stand soccer outside of a Ted Lasso episode. Idk why this is under the Mrs. Maisel season and yoga, but it is. 

[lokischocolatefountain]

Happily Divorced

Chapter 4- How to Make a Sacrifice

Navigation: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, ……

Fandom: Squid Game

Pairing: Cho Sang-Woo x Reader

Rating: Gen

Word count: 4.7k

Summary: You and Cho Sang-woo have been going through life one milestone at a time. Go to university- check, graduate- check, get a job- check, get married- check, stay married- well, that was more complicated. But, if you can’t be happily married, the two of you are determined to be Happily Divorced.

A/N: This is the first chapter of this fic that doesn’t have smut lol. Warning for angst

Word meanings:

Yeobo – “Darling” / “Honey” (for married couples)

Jagiya – “Honey” / “Darling”

Aish – used to express frustration or anger 

Ssi-bal – similar to “Fuck” / “Shit”

I wrapped the garment bag around my last suit, zipped it up and hung it on the rack that I’d wheel out of my apartment and into the moving van. After years of working my ass off, I finally had my own apartment. It wasn’t as glamorous as I’d dreamed of, but it was a good starter home. I was also too happy about not having to pay rent to be bothered about how fancy the apartment was. I just liked that it was slightly bigger than this one and was in a quieter area.

I opened the drawer, took my box of carefully rolled up ties and put on the lid before setting it in the cardboard box. I shut the draw and pulled the one above it, but it didn’t open beyond an inch. Something was keeping it from opening fully. I shut the drawer and heard something clatter inside. I opened the bottom drawer to see that something had fallen in.

My jaw clenched and chest tightened when I picked up the carefully sealed ziplock bag with the piece of plastic that was the catalyst for the worst few months of my life. I hadn’t taken it out since I had shoved it into the drawer hurriedly after flying back home all by myself.

Two years ago…

No.

This was not happening.

The two parallel pink lines on the plastic stick taunted me, looking less like lines and more like full stops on my fucking life. I dropped it on the coffee table and buried my face in my hands.

“What are our options?” I asked, wanting to deal with the situation instead of wallowing in self-pity. We had established when we started talking about marriage that neither of us had any intention of becoming parents. We’d been very careful and always used protection. But accidents happen. This was an expensive accident, of course, because we couldn’t get an abortion here. But, I didn’t want to say the word yet, I didn’t want to make it sound like it was the only option.

“Options?” She asked, brows furrowed.

“Yeah. Let’s just talk about what our life would be like if we got an abortion and what it would be like if we kept it,” I said, loosening my tie.

“What? What are you talking about?” She exclaimed and sat up straight, folding her arms over her chest. “We decided that we wouldn’t be parents! Why the hell are you suddenly backtracking on something we decided even before we were married?”

“Aish!” I cursed and slapped my forehead. “I’m not backtracking on anything! I just want to discuss both scenarios and what it would mean for us.”

She folded her arms over her chest and rubbed her upper arm as though comforting herself. “Us!? This would mean nothing for you, Sang-Woo! You will stay the same and your body is going to stay the same and your life will be the same. I’ll be the one stuck at home with a baby I don’t even want.”

Of course! It was all about her all the goddamn time. Boohoo, how terrible for the rich daddy’s girl who could pay her way through everything.

“Nothing? You’re talking like this baby won’t affect my life. I’m it’s father. Or are you unsure about that?” I asked, adding a cruel smile that made her flinch. I did not believe that she cheated on me, of course. I knew all too well that she barely had time to fuck one man let alone others.

She raised her hand to hit me, but I caught her wrist in time to stop her. “You’re being fucking stupid and emotional. You should be thinking about our next step, not trying to beat up the one person who is offering solutions here.”

“What is wrong with you! You are calling yourself its Father? Do you want this? Did you do this on purpose?”

“THAT is what you got from what I said?” I raged, inflamed. I had gone from speaking loudly to outright screaming. “What’s wrong with me? No, what the fuck is wrong with you!?”

“You’re trying to convince me that I should consider both options. You’re forcing me to keep it!” She accused, looking at me with tears brimming in her eyes. I got up and walked up and down the living room.

“I’m not fucking forcing you,” I said, stopping to look at her. “I said we should think about all our options and I’m saying it again, yes– we should consider all our options before we make a decision. Like a sane person does.”

She looked smaller as she sniffled and wiped her tears with a finger. “No. You did something. And you said you’re its father. Like you want it. Like you want me to keep it.”

“Ssi-bal!” I exclaimed and slapped my forehead. She must have been knocked on the head around the same time she got knocked up. I grabbed her by her shoulders and shook her before I spoke, every word dripping with sarcasm,  “Okay, listen to me. That is just what we call the male who contributed to the fucking pregnancy. I wasn’t going to use all those words so I said Father. I am so sorry. I really wouldn’t have said it if I knew you would be an irrational bitch about it.”

“Stop being a condescending asshole. And don’t fucking talk to me like that,” she said, staring at me with contempt.

I sat down opposite her, lowered my voice and tried again. “You know I don’t want kids.”

“Well, your Umma really wants us to have kids. She keeps pressuring us whenever we visit and whenever she talks on the phone. Maybe you finally gave in.”

I sighed. What a reach. Why the hell did she bring my Umma into this? I know she wanted grandchildren, but it was just a normal thing people wish for in their old age. She made it sound like it was something malicious, like it was motive for this crime she was accusing me of.

“What are you implying?”

“It’s not an implication. I’m telling you I know you sabotaged my birth control. You married me for my money. And you want control over my family business once I inherit it. The best way to do that would be making us a proper family in everyone’s eyes. You’re trapping me with a baby.”

“How dare you?” I growled before kicking the pregnancy test off the table.

People from her class always thought everyone was after their fucking money. Was it attractive that she was rich? Yes. Did I want to use that to make my way up in society? Fuck yes. But that did not mean I had no morals. First, it was her father interrogating me for weeks and conducting background checks on me and everyone who’d even looked at my face. Now, it was his daughter who I married, acting like I was some kind of criminal. Why did I have to prove myself to these people all the goddamn time?

“When did you become so stupid? I don’t fucking want children any more than you do. Even if I wanted to be a Father, you think I’ll fuck one into you of all people?” I spat, glaring at her. “What kind of mother would you even be? What will you even teach my children? How to be a spoiled brat who pays her way through everything?”

That hit a sore spot.

“I earned my spot in SNU just like you did!”

I tilted my head. “Did you? What about your job? I heard that you got it months before you even graduated. The guy who hired you– Minjun– he’s still your boss, isn’t he? You must have sucked his cock really good for him to offer you that job. Maybe you should check if it’s his baby.”

I regretted my words before I felt the sharp sting on my cheek. I looked up at her furious expression and flinched as she struck me again on my other cheek.

I deserved that.

“Men like you, you think only you have it hard,” she said, glaring down at me. “Yeah, I’m rich. My Umma didn’t have to sell fish to send me to school. But I still worked hard, just like everyone in class. My grades were just as good as yours. I work hard. I work so much that I sleep in my office most days of the week. I get promotions. Not because I suck my boss’ dick. I could sit at home most of the time and still get those promotions because they know who my Appa is. But I want to put in the work so that nobody can say I got it because of my family’s influence. But people still say it. It’s unavoidable.

“Some of my coworkers say that I’m doing well because I’m sleeping with the boss. Remember the last exam we had in our first year? Everyone performed terribly except you and me. Some people couldn’t fathom how I outperformed them. Couldn’t have been because I was smarter of course because they’re men. They just decided I was fucking all our profesors somehow. I’m used to hearing those things. Most women are. But it hurts that even you feel that way,” she said, getting up and collecting her belongings.

“I fought with you the whole time we were in SNU, but I decided to be your friend after we graduated because I thought you would understand. People in our department talked about where you were from all the time. Called you the scholarship kid like it was an insult. They thought you didn’t deserve to be there. I knew it must’ve been a terrible experience for you. And I thought you would understand my position just like I understood yours. But you are just like the rest of them. You’re a bad man,” she said, looking into my eyes with her tear-filled red eyes. I looked down, unable to stand her searing gaze for longer.

She walked past me and out of my door. As the door clicked shut, I wanted to chase after her. Ask for forgiveness. Let her know that I mean none of it. But, I didn’t know if that would be true. No matter how much I wanted to convince myself otherwise, I did resent her for her wealth. But, this was not the time for self-reflection. There were more urgent matters at hand.

I knew a friend whose sister had managed to travel abroad for an abortion. He would know what we had to do.

I found myself at her doorsteps that night, holding the paper on which my friend had scribbled out the necessary details. Along with it, I had plane tickets for us to leave for Japan tomorrow. I stopped by on the way at her favorite street food stall and bought some tteokbokki and some gyeranppang because I knew she wouldn’t cook anything. She had to be persuaded to eat when she was stressed.

I rang the doorbell and waited, noticing that the sound of her TV stopped immediately. I heard light footsteps. The center of the peephole darkened as though the light flowing through the small center was obstructed by someone gazing through it. But there was no sign of her opening the door. I rang the doorbell again. When there was still no response, I called out her name. I looked up and found the peephole still dark. She was still looking through.

“Yeobo…” I said, looking straight at the peephole. “I found a way. There’s a nice hospital in Tokyo where we can go. I booked you an appointment for the day after tomorrow. I have the details here,” I said, holding up the paper. “We leave tomorrow morning. I already bought us the tickets,” I said, showing them too. “And I got you some food. You should eat even if you’re upset. It will help you feel better.”

I set the items in a plastic bag, held it up for her to see and then placed it outside her door. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said and waved at the door before walking to the stairwell. In a few seconds, I heard the sound of a door opening. There was a rustling of plastic and then the door was shut. Satisfied that she’d received the items, I walked down the stairs.

________________

The food was still at her doorstep when I picked her up in the morning.

I didn’t ask her why she didn’t eat it. I could only bring her food, not force her to eat it. And I really wasn’t in the mood to ask her why because it could only end up with us fighting again. Silence enveloped us throughout our ride to the airport. We walked alongside each other and she let me help with her bag but other than that, there was no other interaction between us. She even downgraded to an economy class seat to avoid sitting next to me. Despite her constant rejection, I waited for her at baggage claim and carried both our bags.

I didn’t see her after she shut the door to her room in our two-bedroom suite at the hotel. Lunch was delivered and I was at her door again. There was no peephole to tell me if she was looking at me from the other side of the door. But, the faint shadow that appeared by the door told me she was there.

I cooed her name softly and pressed my hands against the door. As though the action would bring me closer to her. “You should eat. I know you’re angry at me. You should be, I was terrible to you. But, don’t be angry at the food just because I’m bringing it, okay?”

I didn’t expect to hear anything, but her voice, dull and meek, came through the door. “I don’t want to eat.”

“Why not? Do you want me to get something else from outside? I can find a Korean restaurant…”

“No, no need. My stomach hurts.”

“That is because you’re hungry.”

“No, I’m not. I’m just scared. What if Appa and Umma know?”

“They won’t know.”

“I went to the doctor before I knew I was–  I was scared. She’s good friends with Umma. She might tell her.”

“She is not supposed to reveal patient information like that. She won’t tell anyone. If they come to know somehow, you can throw me under the bus, okay? Tell them I forced you.”

She just sighed, sounding quite tired.

I wanted her to open the door. I wanted to hold her, tell her everything will be okay. Tell her that she’ll get past this, that I’ll carry her out of this disaster if I had to. I wanted to apologize for the things I said yesterday. It was just coming from a place of anger after she accused me of doing something as vile as tampering with her birth control. It hurt me in such a deep and visceral way.

Did she truly believe I would do something like that? Or did she say it just to hurt me for accusing her of cheating? I said a lot of things I didn’t mean with the aim of hurting her. It was entirely possible that she did too.

Her lunch stayed untouched even when it was time for dinner.

I knocked on the door to her room. “Jagiya…Please have just one meal. You haven’t eaten all day. I know you’re worried about the abortion and your parents, but going hungry won’t solve that.”

There was no response. No sign of her approaching the door. After a few impatient moments, I began knocking on the door. I didn’t care if she was sound asleep. I wasn’t going to let her skip meals for the second day.

Annoyed after receiving no response, I banged my fist against the door as I screamed her name. My hands hurt and my throat was sore, but there was still nothing from her. Impatience turned to anger and anger turned to worry when she didn’t open the door even minutes later.

There was an eerie silence in the room. Something felt wrong and ominous. I grabbed the telephone on the side table by the couch and dialed the hotel reception.

She was probably unresponsive just because she was angry at me. I could be making a fool out of myself by bringing the hotel staff to witness a tiff in a marriage. God, I hoped she was just angry. She was a stubborn one. If she decided that she didn’t want to do something, it was impossible to change her mind. If she didn’t want to talk to me, she wouldn’t even if the world was going to end.

But, she would at least yell at me to stop, right? She wouldn’t just sit there while I banged on the door.

“My wife– my wife has been in her room all day. She hasn’t eaten and she isn’t opening the door. Please–”

“We’ll be there, Sir,” said the receptionist.

The next minute was a complete blur. The hotel staff came with keys to her room and opened the door. I rushed in to find my wife on the bed, the white sheets turning red around her. An involuntary scream escaped my throat as I gathered her in my arms and tried to shake her awake. Her blood stained my hand and I unknowingly touched her face, making her peaceful face look like a battlefield.

She was limp in my arms as I called out her name repeatedly, my desperation heightening with each second of non-response. “Please call an ambulance,” I cried. There were more people in the room, sorting things and making calls but I couldn’t register anything. All I could think of was her.

I was transported back to my childhood, the memories of holding my dying father rushing back in. I was useless then and I was useless again as the men in scrubs pried her off of me and took us into an ambulance.

______________

“Abeoji, Eomeoni,” I said, bowing to them.

He ignored my greeting and asked “Where is she?”

Even with his short stature, his eyes, fiery with rage, made me freeze in place. I’d always revered him for how he worked hard to place himself and his family at the upper echelon of power and society. With the reverence came fear. He was never my father-in-law. Only the businessman I hoped to impress, first to marry his daughter and then to climb up the corporate ladder.

“She’s in surgery. How did you—”

I yelped as he grabbed me by the collar of my shirt. “How could you let her do this?” He asked.

I squinted at him in confusion.

“You can’t hide anything from us,” my mother-in-law interjected. “Her doctor already told us she is pregnant.”

“This is not what you think it is,” I lied. It absolutely was what they thought it was. But, what was the point of telling them we were here for an abortion when she was not going to have one anyway.

“We know you booked her an appointment for tomorrow. You think you are so smart, sneaking her out of the country and thinking we won’t know.”

Oh, great. Now, they would hold it over her head until they died.

“Abeoji–”

“Shut up! You are a little boy. You use your connections to bring my daughter here and get her an abortion. And you think I wouldn’t know? I have been in the game longer than you have been alive. I know everything. I should never have let you marry her. What kind of man lets his wife kill his child?”

“I didn’t let– This has nothing to do with her. She didn’t want to– she didn’t want the abortion. I brought her here.”

I squeezed my eyes shut as the impact came, my cheek stinging from it. She slapped me yesterday and her father was slapping me today. How wonderful.

I was ruining all my chances. He was quite the influential man in my world and being his son-in-law opened some doors for me. Everyone back in Ssangmun-dong thought I had made it after I graduated from SNU. I thought I had made it too before I was actually pushed into that world. When you’re in SNU, being from SNU was nothing special. What made you special was where you came from, who your parents were. The son of a fishmonger was at the bottom of the hierarchy. Being at the top of my class was not enough. I needed connections. I needed to know people who knew the right people. Success was in the range of my vision, but out of my reach.

I liked my wife, but it was not a marriage for love. Not a marriage that would develop into a family. She liked the status I would give her as a married woman and I liked that she was her father’s daughter. It finally gave me a way in, gave me those fucking connections I needed to make it to the top. As his son-in-law, I was no longer overlooked for promotions that I worked hard for.

I was wrecking my future.

“How could you do this to my daughter?” His voice thundered before he hit me again. “What kind of man kills his own baby?”

“Please, let’s not fight now. She didn’t have an abortion, she doesn’t want one. The appointment is for tomorrow. You know the appointment is for tomorrow. She can’t have this baby. It wasn’t right from the start. She started bleeding suddenly at the hotel and the doctor said it’s an ectopic pregnancy. The surgery is to keep your daughter alive.”

“You should go. We are her parents, we can take care of her from here,” my mother-in-law said, stepping between me and her husband.

“She’ll be out of surgery in a bit. I can wait.”

“I doubt she wants to see you after everything you did.”

He was referring to something that I didn’t even do. I hadn’t forced an abortion on her. But, he was right. I said some incredibly vile things to her. I wouldn’t want to see me either. But I knew that she wouldn’t want to see her parents. They were incredibly difficult.

They didn’t tell her openly, but she had a feeling that they resented her for being born a girl, especially because they couldn’t have more children after her. She had to be both a son and a daughter to them. She had to attend business school to take over the business to satisfy their desire to pass the company down to their child. To earn the approval of the world, she also had to be a good woman who married well, obeyed her husband and stayed home to take care of her children.

It was not unnatural that our parents exerted a lot of pressure on us. It was not wrong either. They just wanted to ensure that we succeeded. But, they had particularly high expectations of her, many of them contradicting each other. She had quite a fraught relationship with them. It was hard not to when her every move disappointed them in some way.

If they found out she chose to have an abortion, they wouldn’t let her live.

“I’m not going to warn you again. Leave now.”

“I will,” I said defiantly. “I just want to talk to her doctor. I want to make sure she’s okay. ”

I needed to make sure she was alive. God, please let her live.

She couldn’t die like this.

“You are being awfully persistent for someone in your place,” she chimed in. She looked kind, loving even. Always overly polite in contrast with her brash husband. “We can ruin your life with one phone call. I’m sure you know that and you will do what is best for yourself.”

I much preferred her brash husband. At least he didn’t issue thinly-veiled threats with a sweet voice.

I took a deep breath and turned away from the cruel duo. I had done what I could for her. They would not torment her over trying to have an abortion. But, that was not what I was most afraid of.

As I walked away, the doctor’s words rang loud in my ears. The pregnancy would never have survived even without our attempt to have an abortion. It was something called an ectopic pregnancy and the baby was in her fallopian tube instead of her uterus. She had been in pain the whole day when she hid away from me in her room and refused to eat.

I collapsed on a chair at the reception as silent tears trickled down my cheek and I bit down on my lip to keep my sobs at bay. I looked down at myself, feeling nauseous at the sight of the blood– her blood– on my hands and on my wrinkled white shirt. I had her blood on my hands.

She told me she was in pain. She told me and I ignored her. I convinced her that it was because she was hungry. If I hadn’t been so stupid, if I had just listened to her, we would’ve gone to the hospital early. We would’ve found out from an ultrasound instead of finding out this way.

If she died, it was on me.

We didn’t marry for love. It was a decision we made together on a spreadsheet of our finances. It happened on a pros and cons list. It happened because she wanted the status married women were afforded in society. It happened because I liked her money and her power. There was no ceremony. She did not wear a beautiful dress and my suit had a stain from the lunch I ate in a hurry before showing up to our wedding. There was no kiss to seal the deal. No declaration of love. No promises to take care of each other.

But now I wanted to. I wanted to sit by her hospital bed and be there when she woke up. I wanted to get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness for all that I said. I wanted to bring her food and kiss her on her forehead and tell her I was there for her. I wanted to hold her in my arms, not because she was bleeding to death but because I cared for her. I wanted to make all her problems go away and protect her. Love her.

I swallowed through the painful lump in my throat and let out the sob I had been holding in for too long. I would gladly give up all that in exchange for her life.

Present Day

I was ready to lose everything in exchange for her life. It seemed I had gotten my wish. I sat for days outside the hospital having been kicked out by her parents. It was the worst few days of my life, not knowing whether or not she made it out alive. They must’ve taken pity on me. Her father approached me with the news that she was alive and I left for home. I didn’t ask to see her. It didn’t matter that it was all I wanted to do.

I remember the moment I knew I had to leave– her words from our shouting match rang in my head “I know you sabotaged my birth control. I know you married me for my money. And now you’ve decided to trap me with a baby.”

I decided she wouldn’t want to see me again. We had fights before but always made up within hours. But, this felt different. I said some things that cut too deep. I was right in my assumption. She did not want to see me. I saw her lawyer with divorce papers before I saw her again.

I should throw it. But, I couldn’t bring myself to. I sighed and dropped the plastic stick into the box. It was a sick souvenir of our marriage.

_____________________

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