#also hey uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh has anybody ever noticed him & clown had the same

[glorytoukraine2022]

Hey everyone! I’m back with another analysis! This time I’m going to do a comparison of reformed villains from Elena of Avalor and Tangled the Series. The main reformed villains I will be comparing is Cassandra, to four reformed villains from the two aforementioned shows. If you’re a fan of both shows, you probably might know who they are.

First up, will be Cassandra vs Varian. I know this is an obvious choice I’m starting off with, but given that these two are from the same show, they’re the easiest to analyze. TTS does everything it can to push comparisons between Varian and Cassandra and make them seem like parallels. However, these two couldn’t be more different.

Varian didn’t want to turn to crime. He only became a criminal because he was pushed to it. When Varian lost his dad, he asked for help not only from Rapunzel, but the entire kingdom as a whole. But because of a false rumor going around the kingdom claiming that Varian had attacked Rapunzel. Rapunzel never cleared the rumor, nor did she follow up on Varian’s request for help. The King sent guards to chase Varian out of his home in order to cover up the destruction of the rocks, isolating Varian from society and any possible aid. Varian was still wron, but he literally had no other options left.

Cassandra, however? She was faced with no such situation. Her life was pretty stable when she stole the moonstone. Was it perfect? No, but if she was so unhappy, than she could have left anytime. She was even offered an opportunity to become a warrior of the kingdom of Ingvarr, but chose to stay because of her friendship with Rapunzel.

Like Varian, Cassandra too was mistreated by Rapunzel. I don’t blame either of them for wanting to leave her. Yet the show didn’t use any of these valid reasons as her motive for Cassandra stealing the moonstone. Instead, they decided to have Cassandra victim-blame Rapunzel for her own kidnaping.

The entirety of season 3, we see Cassandra gaslighting an abuse victim. Gothel didn’t kidnap Rapunze because she loved her more than Cassandra. She only cared about her magic hair.

Varian realized his actions were wrong long before the events of season 3, but nobody in Corona gave him a chance, leading to him turning to a Terrorist Leader. But when the Saporians revealed that they were going to destroy Completely using Varian’s chemicals, Varian turned against the Saporians to save Corona and it’s citizens, despite how the kingdom mistreated him, because it was the right thing to do. Cassandr, on the other hand, was about to rip the Sundrop straight from Rapunzel, despite her clearly being in pain.

For my next comparison, it will be Cassandra vs. Victor and Carla Delgado. One could argue that Cassandra saw the power of the moonstone as a power conduit and a means of respect, similarly to how Victor and Carla saw being Malvagos. However, given that TTS does seem to give a clear or specific reason for Cassandra’s theft of the stone, it’s honestly hard to say if power, respect or anything, for that matter, is Cassandra’s motive. “Destiny“, is also given as a motivation, but it’s hard to tell. Whereas Victor and Carla’s motivations for becoming Malvagos is clearly stated that they saw it as a means to gain power, in order to gain respect, which, quite frankly, makes more sense than anything that came out of Cassandra’s mouth throughout her entire villain arc.

Yes, Cassandra and Carla were both abandoned by their naristsstic, power-hungry mothers, but the way each of them reacted to it couldn’t have been more different. When Ash betrayed Victor and Carla by turning Victor to stone, Carla was devastated, and who wouldn’t be? Yet in that moment she saw her mother for who she truly was and turned against her, standing by her father when he needed her.

Now Cassandra? Let’s see, she went on a rampage to hurt her friends and others innocent people and ATTACKED her father. See the difference? One could argue that Cassandra was four when Gothel abandoned her whereas Carla was 19, but Cassandr’s memory of Gothel’s abandonment was repressed until Zhan Tiri showed it to her in The House of Yesterday’s Tomorow. Even though it happened when Cassandra was at a young age, when she remembered it, she was a 24 year old woma, and should have handled it with the maturity of a young adult.

Nobody is saying that Cassandra isn’t allowed to feel hurt. Nobody is saying she isn’t allowed to react badly. That she isn’t allowed to confront her father on the truth if she feels that he kept it from her. But you’d think she’d react in a mature manner. That she’d be willing to hear her father out and talk to him about it rather than straight out attack him!

Carla clearly wanted her mother in her life. She wanted a relationship with her. Cassandra also clearly wanted to be raised by her birth mother, but their mothers made their own choices. Ash and Gothel chose to abandon their daughters for selfish purposes. They can’t change who their mothers are, as much as they might want to. The difference is, only Carla has the maturity to realize that. She also realizes that she has her father, who loves and cares about her more than anything in the whole wide world. Cassandra disregards all of this.

From what we know about Victor and Carla’s childhoods’ Victor had fun days at the palace racing Esteban down the halls, playing hide and seek and cooking with him and Elena. Carla had fun cooking with her father as a child. But some of their lines from “Don’t Look Now”, tell us that their childhoods weren’t exactly peachy. According to Victor, if you had seen him as a child, he would have “always had a frown” because he was put down by others and was “treated like a clown” whenever he tried to stand up. And let’s not forget that him and his family were banished by Shuriki while Victor was still in his teens.

According to Carla, she and Victor were “always on the move“ and that the only thing that never changed was that she would “always feel alone.” The reasons she and Victor could never settle down was probably because they survived as theives and con-artists. If they were alwlays on the move, than Carla probably nevertheless had the chance to make friends growing up. And we’re suppoesd to feel sorry for CASSANDRA?!

While it’s possible she might have felt looked down upon like Victor, Cassandra had a pretty stable life growing up. Growing up inside a CASTLE! She was even allowed to train for the Royal Guard at age six! Victor and Carla had to resort to becoming con artists for a living, and Cassandra is pouting just because she didn’t get the job she wanted?!

When Carla nearly fell to her death after she was knocked over a ledge, Victor was terrified that he was going to lose Carla right then and there, causing him to realize that power wasn’t worth the price of losing his daughter. This gave him the incentive and courage to stand up to Ash for Carla’s safety, and end dark pursuits right then and there. Ash responded to this by turning him into stone. Heartbroken and angered by Ash’s betrayal, and realizing her mother’s true nature, Carla stands against Ash and reforms as well.

Victor and Carla may have once believed that power would gain them the respect they’ve always wanted, but in the end, realized that they never needed power. All they ever truly needed to be happy was love and family. Each other. That’s what I call a true, remarkable redemption. Cassandra didn’t seem to learn or realize anything based on her experience. To this day, I still don’t understand just what new insights and changes resulted from Cassandra’s “redemption.” All Zhan Tiri did was take the moonstone from her. There should have been more than that to her redemption.

Now, last, but not least, Cassandra vs Esteban. Now, I saved this one for last, because Esteban is the one I’ve heard people compare Cassandra to, and while I understand where they are coming from, I still have my objections. I’ve heard people compare Esteban to Cassandra based on the fact that they both had a desire to be noticed. While I understand this comparison, I still feel like Esteban is the more sympathetic of the two.

As much as Esteban wanted to be listened to, he always loved his family deeply. But he always made the mistake of trusting the wrong people, first Shuriki, then Ash, and then the Four Shades. He trusted them, only for them to go after the people he loved and wanted to listen to him in the first place. Cassandra wanted to be listen to, but she didn’t care if it cost her everyone that had ever cared about her. We see this early on in season 1, during “Challenge of the Brave”, when she tries to sabotage Rapunzel’s chances in “Challenge of the Brave” by stealing her weapon of choice, and in “Great Expotations“, when she breaks her promise to Varian that she would be his assistant at the Science Expo if he completed her Handmaiden duties for her, just so she could be on guard duty.

Both Cassandra and Esteban are ambitius and have sought to undermine their family/friends if given the oppourtunity, but I felt that Esteban was always more misunderstood whereas Cassandra was just willing to screw over anybody in her way. Think about it, even after Esteban joined up with Ash, he NEVER EVER wanted to hurt his family, and was always going out of his way to protect them and migiate harm. Cassandra, on the other hand? Went on a killing spree to murder her friends and cause as much destruction as possible.

I have also heard people comparing their redemptions and complaining about how they were both “last minute.” While I would agree in regards to Cassandra, I would NOT say the same about Esteban. As I pointed out in previous paragraph, Cassandra was still hell bent on hurting Rapunzel before Zhan Tiri grabbed the moonstone. Just before that scene, Esteban had just sung a duet with Elsa about how remorseful he feels for everything he’s done and all the people he’s hurt.

Iv’e also heard people comparing their “deaths”, claiming that Cassandra dying was a self sacrifice. NO. I REPEAT. Cassandra’s death in the TTS finale was NOT a self sacrifice! A self sacrifice is when you knowingly put yourself in harm’s way for someone or something else, knowing that you’ll be killed, or seriously injured in the process. Esteban teleporting in front of Elena to take Cahu’s time grain, was a self sacrific. Anna choosing to save Elsa from Hans in Frozen was a self sacrifice. Cassandr’s death was NOT self sacrifice. Cassandra and Rapunzel didn’t believe they were going to die or suffer any consequences by uniting the stones. The only person who they bellived would die was the person who United the stones, that person being Zhan Tiri. Cassandra’s actions were not self sacrificial, in any way, shape or form. What Esteban did for Elena in that moment was more powerful than anything Cassandra did in the finale.

All of these people I talked about above were better villains than Cassandr, with much better motivations, and are More worthy of redemption as have becom better people than she ever will be. If Cassandra ever grows in the futur, sh’ll be lucky if she ever gets at least half to where all these wonderful people are today.

I’m sorry if this analysis isn’t as good as my others so far. I stayed up until 3:40 AM writing this, so I apologize for any sloppiness or spelling mistakes you might see. I still hope you enjoyed my thoughts!

[1kook]

skirt chasers - drabble i

a skirt chasers drabble bc they are my fave fictional couple to date <333

tags: coupley and domestic, jk’s terrible attempts at seducing via text, making out, dry humping, spitting (ik idk what came over me), too much talking for this to be sexual pero hey here we are wc: like 3k

entirely based off jungkook from bv3 that man had NO right to look that good and  the holy jirkenstocks (jungkook birkenstocks). wont lie this has been completely written in my drafts since November (yes 2019) and i hoarded it under the belief i would make this a whole part 2 which i did not 

que dios los bendiga <3

-

Much to everyone’s dismay, Jungkook’s spring break in Vegas with the boys is cut three days short when Jimin’s dog sitter suddenly cancels, citing a case of homesickness as enough cause to abruptly go home. When you first hear news of this, you’re preparing yourself for the return of a mopey, useless Jungkook, too drained from four glorious days in Las Vegas to carry on. What you’re not expecting is the mysterious text he sends you before boarding a five hour flight with no service (he was cheap).

kook still on vegas lockdown. Have that pussy ready when i get home

“The fuck does that mean?” Chaeyoung is the first to see the message, your screen lighting up on the kitchen counter beside you as you scrub through a mountainous pile of dishes. You try to play it off, after all, Chaeyoung had seen parts of you you hadn’t even seen, but there was no worse embarrassment than having your homegirls see your clown of a boyfriend’s ridiculousness. “He’s so romantic,” she swoons, and you shoo her away from the offending device as you wipe your hands down on your t-shirt. 

you for what?? One 20 second round 🤥

Chaeyoung suddenly cackles from over your shoulder, and you swear your soul leaves your body. 

You don’t get a response until exactly five hours and thirteen minutes later, your phone vibrating like crazy on the edge of your bathtub, and if you hadn’t given it a hearty kick and sent it flying across the room, front screen shattering into the most intricate spider web of glass shards, it would have fallen into the water. The terror. 

kook pls pick me up 

kook also haha. U r soooo funny 😑

You’re halfway to the airport, idly sitting in traffic and giving the public a free, Beyonce-like experience of The Script’s Breakeven, when you realize you’re not wearing any pants. You’re not exactly sure which part of Jungkook’s long t-shirt had tricked you into believing you were decently dressed, but you’re not too mad. After all, Jungkook’s trip with the boys had been a last minute decision that did not take into consideration your never-ending thirst for your boyfriend, so a little payback never hurt anybody. 

He’s sitting on top of his suitcase outside the airport when you get there, cute Birkenstock-clad feet swinging back and forth as he waits for you like the good boy he is. He crouches down by the passenger window, “Uh, yeah, is this the Uber?” 

You can’t even bother hiding the smile that consumes your face, and it only grows tenfold when he finally gets in and immediately leans over the center console to kiss you. “Look who’s finally back from their little bachelor party,” you murmur, eyes lidded dangerously low when he breaks away. 

“Oh, the party where I accidentally sleep away my life-savings to a stripper named Aries and then have to go home and beg for my wife’s forgiveness?” He responds immediately, devious pink tongue swiping out to lick at your bottom lip. 

You snort. “Joke’s on you, because our hot pool boy kept me company and treated me better in four days than my husband had in six years,” you mumble, finger looping into the silver chain around his neck to pull him close again. 

“Not our hot pool boy,” he whines, smile pressed adorably to your lips. 

You almost retort, but a ten-second horn blast from the car behind you has the two of you jumping three feet from each other, like teenagers caught making out in the school parking lot. 

-

Just as you’d predicted via text, Jungkook barely has the energy to walk up the steps to your apartment, much less fuck you like he’d promised. “Fuck, stop being healthy and let us take the elevator,” he grunts, pushing his suitcase onto the final platform leading to your floor.

“Nope,” you concede. “The stairs give me a good view of your ass going up.”

He shoots you a scandalized look, like you’re an old man who’d just catcalled him on the street. “Pretty sure that’s my line.”

It’s when you’re unlocking the front door, sending out a little prayer to the heavens (Chaeyoung) for the blessing of an empty apartment, that he notices your lack of proper clothing. “Oh, hell no,” he groans, immediately crowding you against the armchair nearest the door. 

You laugh, struggling to turn to face him as he nuzzles his face into your neck. “What seems to be the problem?”

He sighs against the shell of your ear, and you’d be a liar to say it didn’t send a gush of wetness to your core. Jesus, just a single puff of air from Jungkook was enough to turn your coochie into a Fruit Gusher. “Not your sexy legs again,” he whines, and you giggle when he presses those pouty lips to yours. 

“Thought I was supposed to have this pussy ready for you,” you tease, tilting your head up until your noses brush against each other. Jungkook lets a soft huff of a sigh go, eyes fluttering shut at your close proximity. 

There’s a hand that creeps along the back of your thigh, fingers pressing into the soft skin until he finally guides it upwards, hitched over his hip. The new position has your body curving backwards, tilted over the edge of the couch as he continues crowding closer and closer to you. “Baby,” he whines, and the tone and sudden usage of your favorite nickname wipes the teasing smile off your face. “I missed you so much,” he purrs, in that tone that says he knows he has you under his complete control, all he has to do is take care of you. 

Still, you try to put up some sort of a fight. “I’m sure your eyes were kept entertained in Vegas,” you retort weakly, not even bothering to hide the jealousy in your tone. 

Jungkook laughs, before puckering his lips and smothering you. Instantly, you throw your arms around his broad shoulders to pull him closer. His hair tickles your face from how long it’s gotten, and when you brush it back, collecting it into a makeshift baby ponytail, you can’t even enjoy the sight because Jungkook is pressing his rock hard member against your inner thigh. 

“You think I’m a cheater?” He muses when he finally pulls away, a little entranced by the saliva that coats your lips in a thin sheen. “Couldn’t be even if I wanted to.” Before you can ask what that even means, he’s hauling you into his arms, your legs wrapping around his tiny waist, his cock now cradled between your thighs, right where you want him most. You moan immediately, head lolling backwards at the touch you’d craved for days. “Feel that? No one gets my dick hard like you do, baby.”

Even though his adrenaline is on one hundred, and he’s clearly blinded by his lust, Jungkook still sets you down on the bed like you’re made of glass. Any comments you may have made are smothered by his lips on yours, fingers gripping your waist like it’s the first time he’s ever touched you. When he pulls away, his eyes are dark and his breath is a little heavy where it fans against the lower half of your face. 

“So pretty,” he huffs, rolling his hips against yours. You groan, eyes rolling back as the familiar feeling of your boyfriend between your legs consumes you. Jungkook presses his mouth against the skin of your neck, where the faintest sheen of sweat had begun to form the moment you unlocked the front door. 

If you thought you were loud, the sounds leaving Jungkook’s throat are teetering on the edge between a pornstar and a yodelling-enthusiast. You can’t help the smirk crossing your features. “Are you really gonna come?”

Jungkook was many things, and drama queen was definitely very high on that list. He gives you the most scandalized expression, stopping the movement of his hips to scoff. “As if,��� he snorts, but you know that little eyebrow furrow a little too well. 

You snort, reaching down to his sides as you try to discreetly urge him to start up again. “Baby, your jaw is twitching,” you point out, a soft whine leaving your lips when he shifts your leg up. It’s this same sound that has him finally moving again. 

“Yeah, well,” he groans, one hand deathly gripping into your hip now, pressing you down onto the bed so hard you feel the comforter will swallow you up any minute now. “I just got my wisdom teeth removed, ‘member?”

Your retort is briefly cut off by the cry you let out when he ducks down to suck a mark beneath your jaw. “M-Months ago,” you weakly respond, 

Jungkook ignores you in favor of using his Hulk strength to fold you in half, groans borderline animalistic as he grinds his cock into your soaked panties. His jaw is tight like you’d said, but you can tell he’s holding himself back. He hated coming before you, seldom doing it unless it was one of those rare days where he wanted you to pamper him. 

“Fuck,” he grunts, swallowing your pitiful whines before pushing his tongue down your throat. There was something sexy about your boyfriend being so turned on that his saliva production was off the charts. “You’re gonna ask me to do that thing again, aren’t you?” He predicts. 

All you can do is nod, and Jungkook smirks. “Ah,” he says, much like a doctor would, and you comply, mouth wide. You see the muscles beneath his jaw twitch, and a moment later he’s leaning over you with puckered lips, a glob of saliva begging to drip down. 

The moan that catches in your throat has him smiling, tongue peeking out to cut the bridge of saliva that connected the two of you, and you want to tell him you love him, but then he’s raising his eyebrows at you, motioning for you to swallow, so you do. “Absolutely filthy,” he grins, and then returns to thrusting against you. 

As much as you liked to tease him, he’s good at fulfilling the sexual aspects of his boyfriend role, and he guides you to your orgasm moments later. Of course, he does so by toying with your tits just the way you like, lips pressed firmly to yours as you become a boneless heap beneath him. “That’s it, pretty baby,” he murmurs, pressing one final kiss to your lips before he’s shifting back onto his haunches, tugging you closer until the backs of your knees are cradled carefully in his elbows. 

Despite your transcended state, you love watching Jungkook get himself off, and your eyes flutter as you watch him thrust sloppily against your soiled panties. They’re soaked by your own arousal, and had Jungkook’s sweats not been as dark as they were, you’re almost certain you’d see how they stained. 

He comes a moment later, body twitching and fingers tightening against your skin. His chest heaves, head lolling back as he tries to regain his senses. Silence envelopes the room. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” You blurt, no longer able to pretend like something isn’t completely wrong. 

Jungkook rolls his neck out, a satisfying crack resounding, as he angles to look at you again. His tongue is poking against his cheek in that cocky way it does sometimes, and he furrows his brows at you. “What?”

You shuffle up onto your elbows, motioning towards him with the vaguest wave possible. He blinks. You groan. 

“What did you do?” You question, and immediately his eyes go wide and shiny in that way they do when you’re reprimanding him and he doesn’t see the wrong in his ways. 

Cute little lips forming a pout he remains as confused. “Nothing? We really just went to fuck around and get drunk—“

“Kook.”

“You don’t actually think I cheated, I thought we were just joking? Unless…” he trails off, doe eyes suddenly filled with fear. “You weren’t?”

“Jungkook—“

He intercepts you, “did you do something while I was gone? Who was he? Or she? Wow,” he huffs to himself in disbelief. “I don’t even know you well enough to know if you’re into more than just men.” The frown on his face is getting deeper with each word he utters and you almost can’t believe how dumb he could be. “No wonder… am I a terrible boyfriend?” He asks, voice louder and more concerned than it’s been all night. 

“What the fuck are you even talking about?” You say, and Jungkook looks just as lost by your response as you are with his. “Because I’m talking about whatever this is,” you explain, reaching up to drag a hand through his dual-colored locks. 

They’d been carefully tucked under his bucket hat when you’d picked him up, a tuft of blonde peeking out from in front of his ear. It wasn’t until he’d tipped you over the side of the couch that it had tumbled off. Of course, at the time, there had been other pressing matters at hand than wondering why your Hannah Montana blonde boyfriend had returned as Todoroki, which is why you’d waited until now to revisit the topic. 

Jungkook doesn’t move for a solid ten seconds. Then, as if processing the emotional episode he’d just given you, he gives you a sheepish smile. It’s one of those smiles where his lips press together thinly and cutely and the apples of his cheeks seem like the squishiest things in the world. “Oh…” he says, voice soft and nothing like the man that spit in your mouth five minutes ago. “You like it?”

[longitudinalwaveme]

Villainy Squared

Dramatis Personae

Batman/Bruce Wayne, the heroic but grumpy crime fighting vigilante

Harley Quinn/Harleen Quinzel, the eccentric and dimwitted girlfriend of Joker

Harvey Dent/Two-Face, the angry D.A. turned mob boss who bases his decisions on coin flips

The Riddler/Edward Nygma, a childish, riddle-obsessed technological genius

The Scarecrow/Jonathan Crane, a psychopathic psychologist; obsessed with fear

Script

Act I

(Enter Riddler and Two-Face from different directions)

Riddler: Riddle me this, Gotham! What has- (Pause) Two-Face? What are you doing here?

Two-Face: Out of the way, Nygma. This is the Second National Bank, and I’m going to rob it.

 Riddler: But this is my heist! I’ve been planning it for months! You can’t just interrupt months of detailed planning because of your obsession with the number two! Why, I’ve already set up my riddle-based death traps of doom in there!

Two-Face: Tough luck, Nygma. You should’ve known better than to gamble on  the Second National Bank with me on the loose. Now get lost. (Shoves Riddler to the ground)

Riddler: Ow! (Stands up, brushes himself off) That was entirely uncalled for! And I’m not going anywhere until you find a different bank to rob. This one is mine! Mine! All mine!

Two-Face: Do you really want to tussle with me, Nygma?

Riddler: You aren’t so tough. I can take you. Probably.

Two-Face: (Laughs) A skinny little nerd like you? In your dreams, loser.

Riddler: I’m not a loser! Why, I’m Gotham’s greatest criminal mastermind and the smartest person in Gotham! You’re just a dumb thug!

Two-Face: I may be a thug, but I’m far from dumb. I was a lawyer before I turned to crime, remember? You have to be smart to get through law school!

Riddler: Whatever you say, Two-Face, whatever you say.

Two-Face: (Grabs Riddler by collar) Look here, punk. I’d feel bad fighting a weakling like you, so I’ll give you one last chance to leave. If you don’t, I’ll beat you to a pulp. Got it?

Riddler: But-but I can’t leave! I spent ten thousand dollars on this heist! If I don’t make a profit, I’m gonna be broke! Those riddle traps aren’t cheap, you know.

Two-Face: That’s your problem, Nygma, not mine. Now leave, or it won’t be just your bank account that’s broke.

(Enter Harley)

Harley: Hi, Two-Face! Hi, Eddie! What are you guys doing here?

Riddler: Hi, kid. I’m trying to rob this bank with the help of my riddle-based death traps of doom, but apparently Two-Face had a similar idea, and so we’re now having a difference of opinion regarding who should rob the bank.

Two-Face: (Shakes Riddler a bit) Yeah, and Nygma was just deciding to leave the bank robbing to a professional. What are you doing here, Harley?

Harley: Mister J sent me to rob the bank to fund our next comedy show.

Two-Face: Well, tell that green-haired freak that Two-Face beat you to it. This is my bank to rob, not his or anyone else’s. Isn’t that right, Nygma?

Riddler: Y-yes, sir. Just let me go and I’ll be out of your hair- (Aside) And out of money again! This stinks! How am I supposed to get respect when this keeps happening?

(Two-Face releases Riddler; Riddler rubs his neck)

Harley: Uh, I don’t think Mister J will like the idea of you taking his money, Two-Face.

Two-Face: Well, that’s too bad, because I’m taking it anyway.

Harley: Couldn’t the three of us just split the money, Two-Face? That way, we can all get what we want, and we don’t have to fight over it.

Riddler: Kid, we’re villains. We don’t share money with anyone, not even adorable little things like you. Sorry to disappoint.

Harley: But we’re friends, aren’t we?

Two-Face: No, we aren’t. At best, we’re acquaintances. Now you two had better get lost before I lose my temper. Like I said earlier, this is my heist, and I don’t share.

(Harley starts crying; Enter Scarecrow)

Scarecrow: Greetings, citizens of Gotham. You are about to participate in the largest experiment in mass hysteria ever recorded, courtesy of me, the Scarecrow! (Notices others) Wait- what are the three of you doing here? You’re not part of my experiment.

Two-Face: Go away, you sadistic creep. I don’t want anything to do with a sicko like you.

(Harley pulls out improbably long handkerchief to blow nose)

Scarecrow: Scared, Two-Face? You should be. And Riddler, how nice to see you.

Riddler: H-hello, Scarecrow. I-I was just leaving. See you around! (Tries to exit, only for Scarecrow to grab him and pull him back)

Scarecrow: Leaving so soon? Why, the experiment has only just begun!

Two-Face: (Mutters) Experiment, my foot. (To the others) I thought I told all three of you to leave! This is my bank robbery, not a fear experiment or a way to fund stupid jokes or a way to prove intellectual superiority! Now go before I get violent!

Scarecrow: Leave intimidation to me, Two-Face. You lack the proper finesse to be truly frightening to anyone-except for cowards like Riddler, of course.

Riddler: I-I’m not a coward! I’m a genius! (Aside) Why, oh, why did I have to pick the one bank in Gotham that three other supervillains wanted? It’s going to ruin me, and then I’ll never be able to prove that I’m better than Batman! It’s not fair! They cheated me! They cheated! (Pouts)

Harley: (Notices the Scarecrow, runs to him, hugs him) Hiya, Professor Crane! It’s nice to see you! How have you been?

Scarecrow: Good evening, child. I have been doing well, and I have conducted many fascinating experiments in fear. How have you been?

Harley: Great, Professor Crane!

Two-Face: (To Harley) You actually like this psycho?

Harley: Of course! He was my professor of psychology!

Scarecrow: And she was my favorite student. Her grasp of the physiological and psychological effects of fear, as well as the names and causes of many phobias, was astounding. (Pause) Now, if you’ll all excuse me, I have a fear experiment to conduct.

Two-Face: Oh, no, you don’t. No one’s committing a crime in that bank but me!

Harley: No, I’m robbing it for Mister J!

Scarecrow: Child, my experiments are much more important than petty thievery, and there are plenty of other banks for you to rob. Couldn’t you attack one of them instead?

Harley: Mister J specifically told me to attack this one, Professor Crane. Couldn’t you do your experiment somewhere else? Or just wait for me to rob the bank before you start your experiment? I really wanna impress Mister J, and he’ll kill me if I don’t do what he says.

Two-Face: Why do you stay with that clown? He’s such a creep!

(The three ad lib an argument)

Riddler: Fellow villains, I have a brilliant solution to our problem! (Pause) Hey, guys, I have an idea! (Pause) Is anybody listening to me? I said I have an idea. (Pause) BE QUIET SO I CAN TELL YOU ALL MY PLAN!

(Other villains stop arguing)

Scarecrow: So, you finally grew a spine. I’m impressed, Riddler. What’s your idea?

Riddler: We all want to attack the same bank, but none of us are willing to team up or take turns, right?

Harley/Scarecrow/Two-Face: Right.

Riddler: So why don’t we bet for it? I have a fine set of cards at home, after all. The winner of the game gets to rob the bank-or spread fear gas, as the case may be- and the other three have to help them. Does that sound like a brilliant plan or what?

Harley: I love games! I’m in!

Two-Face: Everybody has equal odds of winning. That sounds fair to me. But I’ll have to flip my coin to decide. (Flips coin) The coin says that it’s a good idea. Let’s play.

Scarecrow: I normally dislike games, but, as this one will allow me to spend time with Harley, study three severely disturbed individuals, and get assistants for my experiment, I will play your game as well, and study how much you suffer from Ludophobia- the fear of losing-by so doing.

Riddler: Terrific! Let’s go to my Riddle-Lair.

(Exit all)

Act II

(Enter Batman on the phone)

Batman: Hello? Hello, Commissioner Gordon. Is something wrong? (Pause) The Scarecrow’s escaped from Arkham, too? That makes four high-profile criminals on the loose. Do we have any leads as to where they might have gone? Mmm-hmm. Uh-huh. Make sure that Gotham’s citizens know not to attempt to engage them. The last time someone tried that, they ended up in the hospital. Thanks for telling me about his escape. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Well, I’ll start looking for him-and Arkham’s other three escapees-straightaway. Good-bye, Commissioner. (Puts phone away) Hello, audience. I am Batman, the guardian of Gotham City. I have been protecting the innocent citizens of Gotham City from its large collection of lunatics, mob bosses, corrupt politicians, psychopathic psychologists, and ordinary thieves and thugs, and I have also trained my ward, young Dick Grayson, to help me fight crime as Robin. However, he is in Washington, D.C. for a field trip, and so I am single-handedly striking fear into superstitious, cowardly criminals until he returns. However, I am currently facing a much more serious problem than usual: namely, the fact that Harley Quinn, Two-Face, the Riddler, and the Scarecrow have escaped from Arkham and are running amok. Each one is a dangerous criminal in their own right, and the idea of all four on the loose simultaneously would be enough to strike strong fear into the hearts of the good people of Gotham. Therefore, I must quickly defeat and recapture all four criminals before they can start committing crimes-or, worse yet, decide to team up. To the Batmobile, audience! (Batman pantomimes getting into car and then driving it) My sources tell me that the Riddler is hiding out in an abandoned publishing facility, while Harley Quinn is in an abandoned amusement park and the Scarecrow is in an abandoned haunted house. Two-Face is probably in one of his many apartments, but I’m not sure which one he’s in, so I should probably look for him first. Tell me if you see anything, audience. Thank you.

Act III

(Enter Riddler, Two-Face, Scarecrow, and Harley)

Harley: Nice place you got here, Eddie.

Riddler: I know, right? I took over this publishing facility after it was abandoned, added a few personal touches, and wallah! Instant masterpiece of home decorating!

Two-Face: If you like neon green question marks, maybe.

Riddler: Who doesn’t ?

Two-Face: 99.9% of people who aren’t you.

Harley: I like it. It’s so shiny and pretty!

Two-Face: That’s because, you, like Nygma, have the attention span, maturity level, and taste of a six-year-old.

Riddler: I do not have the brain of a six-year-old! Why, I’m the world’s greatest criminal mastermind! If I wasn’t a mature adult, I couldn’t be.

Two-Face: One, your claim to that title is very, very debatable. Two, even if you are a mastermind, your crimes are based on riddles, puzzles, and brainteasers. You’re an adult who uses children’s games for your crimes, and you throw hissy fits when you lose. Even I can’t deny that you’re a genius when it comes to tech and wordplay, but you have an extremely immature outlook on the majority of life.

Scarecrow: In other words, Riddler, you’re a technological and linguistic savant. Your skill in those areas far outstrips your capability in any other aspect of life, and in terms of social behavior you are extremely delayed to the point of it being clear that, emotionally and socially speaking, you’re still a small child. And Harleen has regressed to that point as well, in large part thanks to the Joker. Both of you are adults who act like children, and it’s why you’re insane.

Riddler: Whatever. You’re just jealous because neither of you has a brilliant mind like mine. (He grabs a box of cards and sits down at a table with them)

Scarecrow:  (To Two-Face) And, of course, his delusions of grandeur make his mental issues worse. (Both laugh and sit down)

Harley: Professor Crane! Two-Face! Stop being mean to Eddie! (Sits down)

Riddler: Yeah, stop being mean to Eddie-er, me!

Two-Face: (To Riddler) Aww, did we hurt your feelings? Scarecrow: (To Two-Face) Knock it off, Two-Face.

Two-Face: Why? It’s fun to watch Nygma freak out.

Scarecrow: I told you to knock it off! I don’t particularly care for Riddler, either, but we’re upsetting Harleen by making fun of him, and I hate it when she gets upset.

Two-Face: Who are you, and what have you done with Jonathan Crane?

Scarecrow: Harleen is my only friend, all right? I’m allowed to be nice to one person, aren’t I?

Two-Face: So, the big bad Scarecrow has a soft spot, huh? How cute.

Scarecrow: Mock me again and I’ll give you a faceful of fear gas.

Two-Face: Okay, okay, I’m sorry!

Scarecrow: That’s better. So, Riddler, what are we playing?

Riddler: I was thinking poker, but it’s really up to you three. I mean, I’ll win no matter what we play, so it doesn’t matter to me.

Two-Face: (Flips coin) The coin says we play blackjack.

Scarecrow: I was hoping to play rummy, myself, but as I am here to win, not to enjoy myself, I don’t particularly care what we play.

Harley: Um, the only card game I know how to play is Go Fish. Can we play that?

Riddler: You’ve never played a card game besides Go Fish? Really?

Harley: Really really, Eddie.

Riddler: Why?

Harley: All the other ones confuse me.

Riddler: I see. Since I don’t feel like teaching you to play poker, I guess we’re playing go fish.

Scarecrow: Very well. As I said, this  is merely an opportunity for me to study human behavior, nothing more. Go Fish is as good a game as any for that purpose.

Two-Face: No way are we playing Go Fish. That game is for little kids, not super criminals. Can you imagine how we’d look playing a game for little kids?

Riddler: Well, according to you, Harley and I act like children anyway, so why wouldn’t we play a kids’ game?

Two-Face: Okay, then, imagine how I’d look playing a kids’ game.

Harley: Aww, you’d be adorable , Two-Face!

Two-Face: Not the point I was trying to make. I wouldn’t look adorable, I’d look stupid, and nobody in the underground would ever take me seriously again. I am not playing Go Fish!

Scarecrow: All right, then you forfeit the game and have to help whichever one of us wins carry out our crime.

Two-Face: Fine! If that’s how you’re gonna play it, then I’ll ask my coin whether I should participate. (Flips coin; groans) Deal me in.

(Riddler deals and the four play Go Fish, ad libbing all the while)

Riddler: Yipee! I won! I won! I actually won! And you two thought I was a joke!

(Two-Face and Scarecrow grumble and glare as Riddler does an obnoxious happy dance)

Harley: Congrats, Eddie! Do you mind if I steal a little something for myself to keep Mister J happy while we’re helping you?

Riddler: Of course not. I may be a psychotic maniac, but even I don’t want to see you get hurt by that barbaric clown again. Speaking of which, you should really find a new boyfriend who treats you with the respect you deserve.

Harley: Whaddaya mean, Eddie? My puddin’ loves me!

Scarecrow: No, he doesn’t. If he did, he wouldn’t threaten to kill you for failing to fulfill his requests. I’ve told you this a thousand times before-he doesn’t love you, he’s using you.

Harley: Well, maybe Mister J is a little rough sometimes-

Riddler: A little rough? He pushed you out of a fourth-story window! What’s a lot rough for you, having him drop a nuclear bomb on you? Oh, wait-he was willing to do that, too!

Harley: But I l-l-love him!

(Harley starts crying again, Riddler pats her on the back awkwardly)

Two-Face: Does anyone else find it a little odd that three supervillains are lecturing someone about how they’re in an abusive relationship?

Scarecrow: Maybe a little. But then again, I used to be a psychologist. I know the signs of an abusive relationship when I see one.

Two-Face: You do? I thought you only cared about fear.

Scarecrow: I may be fascinated by the effects of fear on the human psyche, but that doesn’t mean that I have completely forgotten everything else I learned in order to become a psychologist. And besides, that poor child’s fear of disappointing the Joker, while invigorating for me in the abstract, is also what keeps her from leaving him. Fear plays a large role in such abusive relationships, and as such, I know a lot about it. (Pause) Poor child. Poor, poor child.

Two-Face: Why does her relationship with the Joker bother you ? You’re the psycho who deliberately makes people see their worst fears for your twisted “research”!

Scarecrow: That doesn’t mean I entirely lack standards, Two-Face. And, even if it did, that doesn’t mean that I want the only person in my entire life who ever wanted to be my friend to be constantly abused by the clown who claims to love her.

Two-Face: Okay, you have a point. (Examines his gun)

Harley: Why does everyone think that my puddin is abusing me? He doesn’t mean anything by what he does to me. (Blows nose)

Riddler: We think he’s abusing you because he is! He threw you out of a fourth-story window, drove you insane, got you involved in battles with a crime fighting ninja, throws you around, hits you, never listens to what you have to say, lies to you, makes fun of you, makes you do things against your will, and ignores you when you’re not convenient. What else would you call that?

Scarecrow: It’s simple psychology, really. He follows the standard pattern of abusers: he pretends he’s nice to win you to his side, then he makes you think that you can’t live without him, and once he’s convinced he can control you, he starts with the abuse.

Harley: But I love him!

Riddler: Is loving him worth him trying to kill you when he gets angry?

Harley: Yes.

(Riddler and Scarecrow groan)

Scarecrow: Child, if you stay with him, he will kill you. I am very similar to him, so I know that he is incapable of love. At best, you are a diversion to him. At worst, you are a punching bag. You need to break up with him and find someone else-preferably someone else who is less prone to creating gigantic explosions.

Riddler: My vote would be that you turn “puddin” into pudding, but that’s neither here nor there. Either way, you should ditch that creep and move on with your life.

Harley: But where would I go?

Riddler: Poison Ivy likes you. Maybe you could go live with her.

Harley: Thanks for the suggestion. You guys are the best friends a psychotic nutcase could ask for. (Blows nose) From now on, I’m done with that homicidal, abusive clown.

Scarecrow: Wonderful! And if he tries to bother you, I’ll give him a nightmare that he’ll never wake up from.

(Harley hugs Riddler, who looks thrilled, then hugs Scarecrow)

Riddler: (Aside) I got hugged by a girl! Score!

Two-Face: Can we go rob the bank now, please? I’m as fond of weird counseling sessions as anyone else, but if we don’t get going soon, I’m going to forget our deal and rob the place by myself using my own plan.

Riddler: Okay, okay, we’re coming. Don’t have a cow.

Harley: You know, now that I’ve broken up with Mister J, I don’t really need to rob the bank, so I’m going to go find Ivy. Good-bye!

Riddler: Atta girl, kid! Bye!

Scarecrow: Farewell, child.

(Exit Harley)

Two-Face: You two really are crazy.

Riddler: And we wouldn’t have it any other way. Let’s go rob that bank!

Commercial Break!

Act IV

(Enter Batman)

Batman: I’ve checked the hideouts of Two-Face, Harley Quinn, and the Scarecrow, but they weren’t at any of them. That means that they must’ve teamed up with Riddler for some reason, and they must be hanging out here, at the abandoned publishing facility Riddler uses. I hope that, whatever nefarious crime they’re planning, they’re still here now, because if they aren’t, I’ll have to deal with panicked civilians.

(Enter Harley)

Harley: Hi, Batman! (Does double take) Batman?

Batman: Surrender  quietly and things will be much easier for you, Ms. Quinzel.

Harley: Great! I was just looking for you! (Hugs him) I’m breaking up with the Joker, so I need to go to Arkham to get away with him and meet up with Red.

Batman: (Confused) You’re surrendering?

Harley: Yeah! I’m breaking up with the Joker, so I need to go to Arkham so that he can’t get me, and this is the quickest way to do it.

Batman: All right. (Handcuffs her) Why the change of heart regarding the Joker?

Harley: Eddie and Professor Crane told me he was abusing me, and they made sense, so I decided to leave him and become my own person again.

Batman: I’m glad to hear that, Ms. Quinzel. I wish you the best of luck with your attempt to break the cycle of codependency and abuse.

(They pantomime getting into the Batmobile and driving to Arkham in it. Harley throws her hands in the air like she’s on a roller coaster)

Harley: WHEEE!

(Batman stops the car and lets her out. They ‘walk inside’ Arkham)

Batman: Good-bye, Ms. Quinzel.

Harley: Good-bye, Batman. (Hugs him) And next time, you can call me Harley. Everybody does.

Batman: Good-bye, Harley. (Aside) Now I just have to hope that the other three have kept out of trouble.

Act V

(Enter Riddler, Scarecrow, and Two-Face)

Two-Face: If this plan fails, I’ll make you eat your hat.

Riddler: Fail? I’m a genius! So long as Batman doesn’t show up, my plan can’t possibly fail!

(Enter Batman)

Batman: Hello, gentlemen.

Scarecrow: (To Riddler) Congratulations, Riddler. You jinxed your own plan. How predictable.

Batman: I assume that asking the three of you to come in quietly would be too much to ask.

Riddler: How did you solve my riddles, Batman?

Batman: I didn’t have to. The three of you left a trail so obvious that anyone could have followed you here.

Riddler: You didn’t solve the riddles I sent you? Then I won! I won! I actually won!

Batman: Sure. Whatever makes you happy. (Aside) It’s like fighting a six-year-old.

Riddler: And now, I’ll kill you with a riddle-based death trap of-

(Batman knocks him out)

Batman: There’s your prize, Nygma.

Scarecrow: Did you see Harleen, by any chance?

Batman: Yes, I did. I took her to the asylum myself, in fact. Why?

Scarecrow: I was hoping that she would find a way to keep herself safe from that lunatic. Good for her! (Pause; Brandishes fear canister) It’s time for you to face your fears, Batman!

Batman: No, it’s time for you to face the law. (Knocks fear canister out of his hands) Why did you willingly help Harley, Crane?

Scarecrow: That’s personal information, Batman. (Tries to grab fear canister, is knocked out by Batman)

Two-Face: (Makes a run for the bank) Looks like I get the money after all! (Is knocked out by Batman)

Batman: Good night, Dent. (Pulls out phone) Hello? Commissioner Gordon? It’s Batman. I have three criminals for you to arrest. They’re right outside the Second National Bank. Thank you. (Puts phone away) I can’t believe that the Scarecrow and the Riddler care enough about Harley to try to get her away from the Joker, but it’s beneficial anyway, as it means that I might not have to deal with Harley Quinn any more. Who would have expected that?

[msephy]

Upbringing chap 13/13

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12

Cross-posted to AO3

And here is the last chapter! I hope you enjoyed the story. If so, please let me know ;) Any comments are welcome!

###

Earth 53 - Jason Todd

Of fucking course Bruce would like this Jason Wayne. Weren’t they palls, smiling to each other and hugging each other? Bruce. Hugging someone. Who wasn’t Dick.

And Jason was not jealous. He didn’t need Bruce’s approval, he didn’t need anything from him. He was a grown man.

It was just… unfair.

He thought about hiding in the shadows, but too late. The Doppelganger noticed him on the top of the stairs and nodded at him, indicating his presence to Bruce as well. Jason smirked. They could both go to hell.

“We will stay the night and head back home in the morning,” Bruce announced suddenly.

Jason felt himself tense all over. His smirk widened. “What, already? And here I thought you loved it here!”

Bruce seemed taken aback by the comment, but the Doppelganger understood what he meant by it, and rolled his eyes.

“If you want to hug your father, go ahead. I mean, it’s not like he’d fight you.”

“I don’t need…!”

“Sure, I can see how much you don’t need his attention. Provoking him has nothing to do with it, either. Jesus, how old are you? You still communicate like a teenager which,” he added, turning to Bruce, “by the way, you do, too.”

Bruce frowned. The attack to the Big Bad Bat softened the one to Jason himself only so much, though. Communicating like a teenager? Seriously? As if Bruce ever listened!

“It’s not because he does it that you have to do it too,” the Doppelganger concluded, still aiming his words at Bruce but echoing Jason’s a bit too well. Damnit. And damn him, too, and his perfect life, his perfect personality, his perfect Gotham!

The Doppelganger and Bruce both turned to Jason, making him realized he’d shouted that last part out loud. The Doppelganger smirked, a smirk that Jason knew only too well for seeing it in the mirror every morning.

“Ooooh, poor little Jay whose life was hard,” he jeered in Jason’s own vicious tone. “That’s why he became a bad guy, because he had a hard life.”

“Shut up,” Jason warned.

“Yes, that’s right,” the Doppelganger kept going. “A hard life, like his old da’.”

“He wasn’t even your father!” Jason exploded. “What would you know about it?”

“So? Catherine wasn’t your mother yet you loved her, didn’t you? Our paths only diverged when Alfred found out about me, back when my biological father died, and by then, I was thirteen. You know how it was, being us at thirteen.”

Jason froze. The Doppelganger smirked. “Yeah, I thought so. And yeah, apparently, for you, it only became better later. And then you died. Buhu.”

“Jason,” Bruce tried to interrupt, but the Doppelganger didn’t take any of his shit.

“No, Bruce. He’s excusing his own behavior in ways he doesn’t the behavior of others.”

“I know alright?” Jason exploded. “I fucking know that what I do doesn’t get a pass, but someone has to do it.”

“Has to? Really? Because look by the fucking window, you unbelievable moron. Look at that perfect Gotham of mine, and take a good, hard look at yours. Do you really still think that you took a better path than Batman?”

Jason felt the words like a blow. Fuck him. Fuck him. He was taking the hard decisions, someone had to help the people who didn’t have anybody, the ones Batman wouldn’t help, wouldn’t avenge, someone who would stop those who would never, otherwise, be stopped.

“Some people don’t deserve help,” Jason finally managed.

The Doppelganger shrugged. “Obviously. Take the Joker, for example. Ah, is it him who killed you?” The fucking jerk nodded, as if understanding. Jason felt livid. “Of course. He tried to push Bruce toward his most extreme, and it worked rather well, too. So I broke both his knees.”

Bruce gasped at that. He hadn’t been looking too well, either, while the Doppelganger was talking about his way of doing things, now that Jason thought about it. Did he think he’d been wrong, too? To create Batman?

“His knees? But…”

“Bruce, I like you very much, but the Bruce from this world is my brother and no one hurts my brother. Considering the life he’s living, I consider myself rather restrained. Also, don’t worry, the Joker still manages to cause havoc all the same.”

But he wouldn’t be killing any Robin. Jason’s eyes went up to the empty wall of the cave, where the card would be hanging, back in his world. Maybe that would be an acceptable solution. He craved the clown’s death but… Justice, not revenge. Or maybe a balance between both. Batman already played that game, after all, ignoring the law where it suited him.

Jason didn’t quite relax. It was too late for him, for the Red Hood to be a good guy. He’d never be Saint Jason Wayne. And their Gotham would never be this Perfect Gotham, either.

Or would it? The Doppelganger had had to start somewhere. He’d had to face the Joker, and Ra’s, and all the other fucking lunatics who were attracted by the city and, even more, by Batman. Could there still be hope on their own Earth?

Yeah, no. It wasn’t Jason’s way.

He might still like to work at the Martha Wayne Foundation, though. He’d trusted those people, back when he lived in the streets, at thirteen. Would he manage to find a compromise with Bruce? Without the two of them going at each other’s throats?

“I don’t think I can stop,” Bruce admitted out loud, in a matter-of-fact tone that sounded like defeat.

“You don’t have to,” the Doppelganger said. “Just, you know, also invest in people? I’m sure you do. You have a huge family. All of you put together…”

“We could do it,” Jason heard himself say.

Bruce looked up at him, an indefinable expression on his face. Jason glared back. “We could do it. The replacement already works for Wayne Enterprises. The demon brat and I can take care of the streets.”

Bruce frowned. Of fucking course. He wouldn’t trust them. He…

“I’ll think about it.”

What? No, wait. He was going to come up with an entirely different plan, for sure. Or Jason would do something he didn’t approve of, and they would be back to square one.

And yet. If it had even a remote chance to ever work, if Gotham could even become a better place… Fuck. That would be so worth it.

He looked at his doppelganger, and nodded. Then back at Bruce. “Tomorrow? We can go back, like, now.”

“Bruce will be sorry to miss you,” the local Jason said, but he was smiling. “I’ll pass your excuses along.”

“Yeah, right.” Jason hesitated. “Tell him that, you know. The visit wasn’t too bad. I’m glad the kid is alright.”

“Thank you, by the way,” the Doppelganger said. “You know. For saving my nephew’s life.”

Jason shrugged. “Hey. He’s family.”

He doubted he’d even manage to produce a grin as wide as Jason Wayne’s while meaning it. However, that might be a goal worth aiming for.

###

Earth 53 – Jason Wayne

The next day was quiet. Jason stayed home, spent time with the kids. He asked them both to stay home, despite it being a Friday, pretending it was because he’d missed them. He had, of course, but he mostly thought Damian could use the break.

He did miss the other Bruce, though. The jackass of other Jason… He hoped he’d do well, but he wasn’t in a hurry to see him again.

Once the kids were suitably distracted, Jason grabbed the week’s newspapers and started reading. He wasn’t supposed to work but nobody back at Wayne Enterprise would believe it if he wasn’t up to date with everything that had happened during the week.

There were a lot of different newspapers, from The Economist to the Gotham Gazette, all showing vastly different levels of analysis and opinions. It was always interesting to compare, especially putting the points of views in perspective with the average reader of each. A nice exercise.

Then his eyes stopped at the small ads, specifically at the renting section. He didn’t need a flat in Gotham center, of course; they owned several. Until now, he’d never thought about moving there. Bruce needed him at the manor.

Except he didn’t, not really. Bruce was an adult. His choice of becoming Batman – well, if he needed help, he could call. He knew Jason would always come, if he needed him. Hell, Batman spent more time in central Gotham than at the Cave.

As for Bruce, as an entity apart from Batman… He was an adult. He had his kids here. He didn’t need Jason around. Besides, if he did, going out of the manor for visiting would do him good.

And there was also another point they should discuss.

Jason put the newspaper away and got up, heading for the library. Bruce was, of course, down in the Cave. From the look of it, samples of soil needed to be analyzed, maybe in order to determine where someone had been killed before their cadaver being transported elsewhere – or maybe to determine the amount of fertility, who knew.

“Hey. Everything alright?” Jason asked.

“Mh.”

“I distracted the kids this morning, you can take the afternoon.”

“I’m busy.” Bruce winced. “But I’ll come upstairs as soon as I’m done.”

“Good.” Jason hesitated. It was uncharacteristic enough for Bruce to actually look up from his Erlenmeyer.

“Yes?” he prompted.

“I thought about something.” Jason sighed. “Don’t be upset?”

“I can’t be if you don’t tell me anything.”

“I want to take over Wayne Ent.”

That got a reaction out of Bruce. He put away the pipet he was using to pour chemicals on the soil, and straightened.

“Explain.”

“Bruce, you’re the CEO, but we both know you don’t invest yourself as much as you should. Part of that is my fault. I took over most of your responsibilities when I became COO. More than I should have.”

“Mhn.”

“But you let me. You are not interested in Wayne Ent., not the way you should be. And that’s alright. I can take care of it. I actually like it, too. But the company deserve better from its CEO.”

“I could invest myself more.”

Jason snorted. “You could. Or you could spend more time with your kids.”

“I do…!”

“I’m moving to Gotham proper,” Jason announced. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while.”

Bruce carefully didn’t say anything. Jason sighed.

“You know I love you. You’re my brother. And I love Dick, and Damian, and Alfred, and the manor will always be home. But I need some room for myself, too.” He hesitated again. “Maybe adopting my own children, someday.”

Jason didn’t talk about a relationship. He wasn’t ready to let someone close enough to him to contemplate it. Not even thinking about all the secrets and baggage.

Damnit. Jason really meant what he said, yet he couldn’t help but to feel guilty.

“Would it be alright?”

“Yes,” Bruce said abruptly. “You deserve some place. Something to yourself.”

He looked like he wanted to say more, but he’d never been good with words. It didn’t matter; Jason understood what he meant. That Jason had worked hard to get where he was and should keep going. That he’d taken care of Bruce until now, and still would, but that he had the right to have his own life.

Bruce hadn’t wanted Jason to follow him, back when he’d went training. Back then, Jason had followed only for Bruce, even though he’d loved their trip, and learning how to move, how to fight, how to think like a warrior. He’d loved meeting Talia, and other men and women as dangerous as she was. It was part of him, now.

But he wouldn’t have gone, by himself. To be a vigilante was not his path. It was part of him, he’d always relish in flying over Gotham at night, and there was no fucking way he wouldn’t have done everything to be able to protect his little brother, even though Bruce didn’t need much protecting.

Yet he should, too, follow also his own path.

“You already have some things in one of the flats, I’ll have to put to your name,” Bruce decided.

“Maybe I can come back on week-ends?” Jason snorted. “Like a student, I guess.”

“That would be nice.”

Jason smiled. Bruce did the same, offering him one of his rare smiles, faint on his lips, shining in his eyes. Jason hugged him and felt his brother’s arm close around him, keeping him close. Bruce was a great hugger.

They separated only after several minutes, both smiling still. Well, Jason, at least, was grinning. Bruce was back to looking mostly serious.

“I’ll announce the change next week, to Wayne Ent. I mean,” Jason said. “The moving can wait a couple of weeks after that.”

“Good. You only just came back.”

Jason bumped into Bruce’s side, just to feel his brother close again. “I’ve been reading the newspapers. What about you tell me what happened in the more underground parts of the city? I’ve started reading your reports while waiting for you to come back with Damian, but a summary would help.”

“Sure.”

They sat at the Batcomputer, side by side, their faces reflected in the dark screen. The Wayne brothers. Jason knew, suddenly without doubt, that if he saw them now, their father would be proud of them both

The End

[clownsgobeepbeep]

Wonderland

This is long overdue and I feel bad for not having posted this earlier, so I might as well post it now since I will take a while with the other parts(I have two others that are almost done, just need to edit them and all)

Here I present the sixth part of my story. Not exactly important like the last part, but it gives you an idea of what’s going on 

Things are not what they seem to be...

Part Five /// Part Seven

She came awake in the darkness and laid there, eyes shot open as she scanned the area around her.

She reached up to touch her face in a panic, her head soon following after and then her body.

She gave a sigh of relief as she felt that everything was perfectly intact, shutting her eyes for a moment while basking in the moment.

Ula was safe, no traces of harm were on her as she hugged herself and felt that all was alright.

“Fuck...that was such an intense dream.” she whispered to herself before opening her eyes and turning to the side to where her window was. With yet another sigh of relief, Ula removed her blankets from herself and climbed off her bed, approaching the window to open the curtains that made her squint her eyes for a moment.

“Wait…” she whispered to herself, then turning around as she adjusted her eyes to the new light and blinked a few times until she felt that at least her eyes were fully awake. Scanning her bedroom she then gave a squint, something felt off...extremely off…

Right then, Ula gave a groan before bringing a hand to her head that stung with pain. As she attempted to handle that, her doorknob jiggled before the door itself opened, Ula still holding her head as she turned to look at the door where somebody stepped inside.

“Look, I don’t care alright? You get me those flowers like I told-” the new person stared at Ula’s now empty bed, their hand lowering the cellphone they had been speaking into as their eyes trailed over and onto Ula. “-you...to…”

“Mom?” Ula blinked at who was Jelly, her mother looking at her with wide eyes as a voice called her on her phone. “Mom? Are you okay? You look as if you’d seen a ghost. Wait...my voice-”

“Oh my stars.” Jelly dropped her phone before bringing her hands to cover her mouth. “It..it...it’s you!”

“Well, yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

“You, you, you- I-”

“Jelly-Bean?” another voice sounded before Ula saw a man walk in. “Jelly-Bean is everything- Ula!?”

“James!? What are you doing here?” Ula exclaimed before holding a hand to her lips. “Why do I sound like this? Why are you here? Where’s my dad!? Where are Davey and Cordelia!?”

“Did somebody call my name?” a child asked before the pair and Ula saw a boy poke his head into Ula’s room, the latter of the the three having her eyes widen as she noticed that he had chocolate hair like James’ as well as his hazel eyes. But then, another head popped in, and then a third, all three of them giving a gasp before speaking in unison as Ula noticed how identical they were.

“Ula! You’re awake!”

“Who are you!?”

“Ula, Ula darling please relax.” James carefully stepped towards Ula who shook her head and backed away. “Sit down and let us explain-”

“What the hell is going on here!?” Ula walked and stood behind a chair as she began to panic, everybody else noticing this. So, the boys, who she realized were triplets, ran over to her before stopping in their tracks as she shoved the chair in front of them.

“Ula, if you could just listen to us-”

“Wait, a-are you two m-m-mar-”

“Ula, of course we’re married.” Jelly interrupted before taking hold of James’ hand. “We’re your parents, we just need you to sit and calm down so we can explain what happened-”

“No! I am not listening!” Ula yelled at her mother who flinched back, James now comfortingly holding her. “This is some weird nightmare that I’m going to wake up sooner or later from! I-I-I don’t know how it’s happening, but I’m gonna wake up and, and everything will be normal again!”

“Ula, wait!” James shouted before Ula climbed out through the window behind her, landing on soft, freshly cut grass before she noticed that the surroundings were far too different. 

This wasn’t where she lived, especially not with James or those three boys...this had to be a dream, a nightmare...where was her dad and siblings?

“Ula!” she heard behind her, so Ula opened a rabbit hole in the ground, diving in before making sure to close it up and run as fast as she could underground.

Eventually she stopped and looked up, waving her arms so that another hole was opened and she climbed up into it. Ula now found herself in between some bushes, hiding as she now poked her head out and looked into the distance, knowing that she was in the park. Her eyes scanning everything they could as things looked...normal...yet...very, much, off.

“You alright there kiddo?” a voice asked Ula, prompting her to turn around, opening her mouth to speak as she was in shock with the slightest bit of relief mixed into it.

“I...I...I���gra-gra-grandpa?” Ula breathed out before the man before her made a bit of a weird face, a clown with rather silly hair.

“Gr...grandpa? You looking for your grandpa?”

“You-” Ula trembled before stopping herself, tears coming to her eyes as everything was quickly proving to be too much for her and her voice grew to be a sort of wail. “You’re….you’re…”

“I’m…?” the clown blinked in surprise yet also concern, reaching forwards the place a gloved hand on Ula’s shoulder to at least comfort her. “Hey, relax. You-”

“No!” Ula backed away, turning before she ran off and left the clown, alone and bewildered as he held onto balloons in one hand.

“What is happening!?” Ula exclaimed as she rushed through town, finding anything or anybody that would be more than familiar. At the same time however, she wasn’t sure if finding somebody was her best option considering the few encounters she had so far.

“Ula?”

Ula whipped around, nervous that this would be her mother or the others she had seen in her room, but Ula felt as she released a sigh of relief.

“Ula? No fucking way, you’re-”

“Uncle!” Ula exclaimed before throwing her arms over her uncle Cosmos, holding him rather tightly. “Oh Uncle, I’m so glad to see a familiar face! At least one who’ll know things!”

“Ula, how...your mom called me, she’s worried sick.” Cosmos hugged Ula back before they pulled away from each other. “Hey, look, come into my business. I’ll give you a drink or whatever you want.”

“B-business?”

“Yeah, the 80’s one, remember?”

Ula gave another sigh of relief as she held onto her uncle who lead her through the sidewalk until eventually reaching a building that Ula recognized. It looked exactly the way she remembered it. They both walked inside and Cosmos briefly greeted an employee before taking Ula to one of the booths, the employee following right behind.

“What’ll it be Mr. D’Vitt?”

“Anything specific you want?” Cosmos turned to Ula who shrugged while shaking her head. “Get me a peanut butter sundae.”

“Yes sir.” the employee nodded before leaving, Cosmos and Ula now alone as she hugged herself.

“Ula, I need you to explain to me what happened. You’re too...tense.”

“I woke up...ad I saw my mother, and-and James, and three boys who looked like him, and, and then my grandpa…” Ula panted out before Cosmos embraced her, giving her some pats to calm her down as best as possible. “I-I-I...I don’t know what’s, what’s going on!”

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Cosmos shushed Ula before she buried her face into his chest, Cosmos now stroking her hair. “It’s okay, just relax, okay?”

“Teddy Bear, what’s going on?”

Ula froze for a moment, then slowly removing herself from Cosmos to turn as see a woman who stood by the booth they were in.

“Oh my-” the woman then covered her mouth to contain a gasp. “Ula! You’re awake!”

“What did you call my uncle?” Ula stared at the woman with wide eyes.

“T...Teddy Bear?” the woman responded as she was still feeling some shock. “Ula, you-”

“Where’s Uncle Vespers?” Ula turned to Cosmos who made a weird face. “Where’s Phoebe!? And Orion and Hunter!?”

“Phoebe? Ves…” Cosmos furrowed his eyebrows before Ula replied with a shaky nod. “Who’s...who are they?”

In an instant, Ula removed herself from the booth to stand in between it and the woman nearby, eyes constantly darting between her and Cosmos.

“Who are you?” Ula pointed an accusing finger at the woman.

“Ula, it’s me. It’s-”

“Your Aunt, my wife.” Cosmos interrupted before he left the booth to embrace the woman, then turning to her with a tiny smile. “It’s alright, they said this would happen. She’s-”

“She’s not my aunt!” Ula shook her head. “My only aunts are Maggie and Belinda!”

“Who?”

Ula turned and made a run for it again, ignoring as the pair called out to her from behind. The entrance doors flew open before she pushed through people who were about to enter the building, ignoring as her name was called over and over again. She didn’t really bother to look where it was she was going, only following her instincts to where she knew she could be alone. And so, Ula dropped to her knees, falling onto a soft, fresh soil before looking up to her surroundings.

Trees. Little animals. The sun’s rays peeking out through the leaves up above and shining down on her in an angelic like manner.

“What is going on?” Ula wept into the nowhere before standing up, the tweeting of birds following right behind her as they and the other creatures attempted to soothe her. “I don’t understand...This has to be something of Ryder’s…”

The girl made her way through the forest as a bird landed on her shoulder, nuzzling into her cheek before she used a finger to pet its little head. A bit of relief came to her as she noticed that the forest was exactly the way she remembered it, it was actually quite comforting.

She eventually walked by a grove, one filled with all kinds of roses. Yes, thank the stars this was still here. Hopefully nobody had managed to find it, especially considering the current circumstances.

Ula sighed before a small smile came onto her features; she reached out to touch one of the roses that still bloomed ever so beautifully as was a bright red color. Then, she spotted another rose, this one a little bud that was very close to blooming, yet it was clear to her that it was having a difficult time doing so. Leaning down, Ula gently placed her lips on the bud, watching as it shifted a bit, petals opening up into a small rose that made her give a chuckle. Anything to distract her right now.

Once done with that, Ula made her way through the grove until reaching a wall of flowers, one nobody would ever go through because it merely wasn’t possible and it was on a large rock structure. Or well, at least that was what Ula made it seem like.

She looked for the whitest roses, sticking a hand between them before moving what was basically a curtain, then walking inside to be met up with yet another angelic ray of sunshine, shining down right on the area where she walked to before carefully falling to her knees and then side. Ula ran her fingers through the grass before rolling onto her back to then feel a flower fall onto her nose.

A soft smile now grazed Ula’s features as she gave a sigh. She knew and sensed that many, many things were still very much off...but for now...she wanted to have a bit of peace. Especially alone.

But then-

“Ula?”

She jolted up with wide eyes, too  afraid to turn and see another one of the people she had interacted with, or ones she would soon have to talk to before they confused her further. But, she then realized only one other person knew about the small wonderland she currently was in.

“Ula, oh shit. I...I can’t believe you’re...oh Ula-”

“Schrader! You, your-!” Ula clasped a hand to her mouth as Schrader stood at the entrance of her hideout; he was complete, no head missing. “Schrader! You’re alive!”

“Well, of course I-” Schrader gave a bit of a yelp before he felt Ula throw herself onto him, giving him a rather tight hug as he looked down at her and gave her an awkward hug at first. “Ula, are you okay?”

“No!” Ula shook her head before lifting it to look up at Schrader with teary eyes. “I-I woke up and, and everything’s not right!”

“What do you mean?”

“My dad’s not here! My mother is supposedly married to James, and my uncle Cosmos isn’t married to Vespers, and my grandpa Cecilio didn’t recognize me!” Ula exclaimed before a sudden realization struck her. “Oh my stars, I haven’t even seen Atlas!”

“Ula, okay, let’s sit down, okay?” Schrader held her shaking body, then bringing her over back to the sunlight as petals and flowers gently fell over them. “Ula,  I know things are very confusing right now, but I need you to listen to me, okay?”

“Okay…”

“Ula, look. You...I bet you’re wondering why everybody keeps saying that you’re awake?” Schrader sighed before Ula nodded. “Ula...you’ve been in a coma for a while.”

“What?”

“I know, I know. Look, Ryder, he found your mother, some things ensued and you went in to help her and, and…”Schrader then quieted down as his gaze left Ula and he brought a hand up to his mouth, biting onto one of his knuckles. “Ula...he hurt you so badly...I-I...all that matters is that y-you’re awake now.”

“But, Schrader…”Ula gripped onto his jacket. “That can’t be t-true! I have another life! This is all just a dream conjured up by Ryder! My mother is married to Lennie, they have two kids named Davey and Cordelia! My uncle Cosmos is married to-”

“Ula, I know, I understand.” Schrader gently held Ula’s face with a look of concern. “They said this would happen to you. Ryder used a thing, pure imagination or whatever, where he made you dream up this whole other world, an ideal world.”

“You’re...you’re telling me...everything...it wasn’t real?”

“Unfortunately, no...this is your reality Nungen.”

“And...what about my boyfriend?”

“Boyfriend?”

“Atlas…” Ula whispered before Schrader made a bit of a face. “He...my childhood best friend besides Ama...he loves Frankenstein...he…”

“So...you’re breaking up with me?” Schrader gave a tiny laugh before Ula blinked in surprise.

“What...what do you mean?”

“You also forgot about that, huh?” Schrader stroked Ula’s hair before she took hold of his hand.

“You’re my boyfriend?”

“Yeah, I-I mean, unless you don’t want me to be…”

“No! I mean…” Ula then grabbed Schrader’s face before bringing it close to her own. “I do...I do want you to be my boyfriend, please.”

Schrader gave a bit of a smile before leaning in towards Ula. pressing her forehead against hers as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Their noses rubbed against each other as Ula wrapped her arms around his neck, both tilting their heads in opposite directions before closing the gap in between them, lips sweetly pressed against each other.

“Are you really alive?” Ula shuddered out after having pulled away from Schrader, their foreheads pressed against each other. “You’re not l-leaving? Is this real? Are you really, really alive?”

“As long as you need me, of course. I am your loyal guardian.” Schrader gave a soft nod as he wiped Ula’s eyes. “Forever with your soul.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

[silverineontherun]

A Shance/Jeith Valentine’s Fic

No, aliens didn’t brainwash me. I’m still your good ol’ KL stan, but this time I’m bringing a humble (and late) offering to my two wives, kunfetti and @birdsandivory, who deal with me on a daily basis, support me and make my life better. Also, I admit I’m like a lousy husband who smashes together two festivities because this was going to be a Xmas present, but the whole premise was much better for Valentine’s so... here we are. I hope you like it! <3

There are three parts: An introduction, a Shance fic and a Jeith fic. You can pick which one to read first, or not read the other if it isn’t your cup of tea! // LINKS MAY NOT WORK ON MOBILE, please try reading on pc in that case!

T rated, around 2.5k each part, Canon divergence, set somewhere in S8 I guess (but who cares, right?), Atlas background. Lance and James make a deal to get their men on this special date. Enjoy!

                                       *****

It’s the most unlikely alliance to ever exist. It entails swallowing his pride and clenching his teeth for it. But all’s fair in love and war, and there’s really no better way to achieve the goal this time.

At least that is Lance’s conclusion, as he waits for the missing piece of the puzzle to appear, hoping his plan will work.

“Griffin,” he calls, intercepting James just outside the gym. The pilot raises an eyebrow and gets closer to the paladin, drinking from his water bottle and making a questioning grunt.

Lance sighs. They never exchanged more words than necessary before, given that silent bad blood they had since their Garrison days but... he thinks this is necessary, after all.

“Hey, dude. So, uh, been meaning to ask… What are you doing for Valentine’s Day?”

James chokes on his water, spitting part of it. Lance gets out of the way just in time, frowning.

“Gross!”

“Wh-why are you even asking, McClain?!” asks James, still coughing.

Lance realizes too late that his wording may have been slightly confusing and, scrunching his nose, he hurries to add:

“Wait, no, nonono, no one is asking you out! Jeez, dude. I just have something important to discuss with you about it.” He crosses his arms and cocks his hip, staring at James from head to toe, the pilot looking flustered in his gym attire. Surprisingly, not at bad sight. Would this really work? In all fairness, if it did, he’d be doing a favor for a bro in the way, so it’s not like he is twisting things for his own benefit only… right?

Right. But he needs to confirm his suspicions first, and since time presses, subtlety is a luxury he can’t afford. So…

“Say, Griffin... You have the hots for Keith, don’t you?” he asks, blunt and direct.

Another fit of coughing has James now tearing up, completely flushed. Lance growls, irritated.

“C’mon, dude, pull yourself together!”

“What the hell are you talking about?!” yells James, but when other members of the Atlas crew look at him scandalized, he lowers his tone, still beet red. “Why are you asking me these things?!”

“I said I need to discuss something important! Actually, more like ask for a favor, I guess, though I think it could work both ways,” confesses Lance, scratching his chin.

“What does it have to do with— What the—?”

“I’m taking that as a yes.”

“I HAVEN’T—”

“Ugh, man, c’mon! Okay, listen, I have no reason to trust you, and you have no reason to trust me, but know that if I’m doing this, it’s only because I’m desperate,” Lance declares. His eyebrows knit in the middle as he gets menacingly close to James. “So, I need your help and I’m gonna explain why. However, if you tell anybody about what you’re about to hear, you’ll find yourself mysteriously tossed into the trash shuttle to never be found again…”

“You come to me, attack me with random questions, threaten me and expect me to help you? Are you serious?” asks James, baffled.

“Yes! Exactly. And now I’m about to tell you a secret that you’ll protect with your life, Unibang,” mumbles Lance, looking side to side and behind him before getting even closer to James, who touches his bangs on reflex and is boiling with irritation. “So. I may be in need of some time alone with uhm… Captain Shirogane. To settle some matters. Personal matters, if you catch my meaning...”

James’ irritation gives way to a mocking scoff.

“Pff, that’s no secret. Anyone with two eyes knows that already,” he sneers.

“Excuse me?!” exclaims Lance, eyes wide-open.

“Not very subtle about that crush, McClain. You’re a paladin and all, but you’re still a loudmouth clown,” says James, one corner of his mouth crooking in a shit-eating grin. Lance blushes, clenching his fists in a comical pouty expression.

“Says who? Mullet-lover? Number one member of Keith’s fans club, sighing in the corners for him?” he retorts, going for his most annoying voice, the same he used multiple times with Keith himself.

“What?!” James’ smile disappears, and red tint smears his cheeks and ears again. Lance laughs.

“No use denying it! I can smell that sexual tension between you two from across the Atlas, it’s honestly distracting…”

“There’s no such thing!”

“Dude. The looks. Are you serious?” asks Lance.

“There’s no such thing,” repeats James, this time softer. He lowers his eyes. “He doesn’t look at me that way. You’re wrong.”

There’s a small pause, while a group of cadets leaves the gym waving at Lance, who waves back at them casually smiling before crossing his arms and tilting his body towards James.

“Oh my god, you’re pitiful,” he deadpans.

“Shut up!”

“No, for real dude, now I think I’m the one who’ll do you a favor,” says Lance, pity seeping into his voice, making James wince.

“I’m not helping you!” he growls.

“Helping me? Bro, you need more help than me. Listen, this is our chance to spend some time with these two oblivious numbskulls. Quality time, I mean?” mutters Lance, and James can’t help but feel his interest peaking.

“How?” he asks, resigned to prove Lance right. The twitch on the paladin’s lip shows he noticed that, but at least he has the delicacy to not tease him about it this time.

“Well, this is our first Valentine’s aboard the Atlas, and the non-humans are all crazy about it, they find it so cute.” Lance rolls his eyes, but smiles. “I guess it is. From what I heard, everyone is preparing for tomorrow but that means getting free time will be harder than usual... So people are trying to take shifts with their friends and preparing weird gifts… do you have any friends, by the way?” asks Lance, putting a condescending hand on the pilot’s shoulder.

“Of course I do, jerk,” answers James, slapping the hand away.

“Oh, too bad. Because you’ll have to ditch them,” Lance shrugs.

“And for what?” grumbles James, starting to lose his patience.

“Well. Here’s the thing. If I want to spend some time with Shiro tomorrow, I need an excuse for Keith to go somewhere else, because I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even know what Valentine’s is... so that means he’ll stay glued to Shiro like any ordinary day,” explains Lance.

These words seem to affect James. He makes an angry pout, crossing his arms.

“Haven’t you considered that maybe that’s what they want? Why would we get in their way?” he asks, in a tone way too resentful.

That pouty face shifts to anger when Lance snorts and then lets a sing-song laugh resound through the corridor.

“Oh, man. Ooooh man. If that’s what worries you, let me tell you: we’ll do them a favor too. When they are together they only have these long-ass conversations about life and duty that are NOT for people their age,” says Lance. Smirking, he adds: “It’s like going to prom with your sister, dude. For real, Griffin, get your head in the game... now I see why you’re doing zero progress.”

“Well, excuse me for knowing nothing about your personal affairs, paladins,” grunts James, offended. And, yeah, he won’t admit it, but clearly relieved too. Lance can't help grinning.

“I’m giving you privileged info here, you’re welcome! Anyways, that’s still a problem, because they are two crazy workaholics and you can bet your ass that Keith will go to Shiro if he gets bored with no one around. And since everyone else is busy… I need you to distract him. See where I’m going?” he asks, making finger guns at James, who looks at him unimpressed.

“In fact, no.”

“C’mon! I’m asking you to be Keith’s date tomorrow!” exclaims Lance, and James blushes again.

“What makes you think he’ll accept something like that?”

“He doesn’t have to! You can casually go meet him and distract him with, I don’t know, some work related stuff I guess. Knives and cosmic wolves are other topics he enjoys if that tickles your fancy,” says Lance, rolling his eyes. “You stay with him, I stay with Shiro, and we both win. Easy peasy.”

James opens his mouth to protest and refuse, but he discovers that, surprisingly, there’s no real reason to say no. Frowning, he sweeps his fingers through his face, thinking.

What’s the worst that could happen? If he goes to Keith and he is dismissed it’ll be alright. Of course, if he lets Keith go back to Shiro he’ll never hear the end of it from Lance, but asides from that… what’s there to lose?

This conclusion must appear on his face because Lance smirks at his expression, cunning and mischievous.

“So… I take it we have a deal?”

And James can’t even believe when he hears himself say:

“Yeah... Yeah, alright.”

                                       *****

They are outside the first floor common lounge. People are loud all around and in the halls, some working, some enjoying the sudden Valentine’s spirit forced into the Atlas corridors, though some interpretations are kind of questionable. They see a few people wearing weird costumes and eating strange things, and Lance and James look at each other confused, but too nervous to comment on it. The paladin taps his foot insistently, while the pilot watches how people start disappearing into other rooms and floors, signaling that it’s time for them to move. Their intel told them they have two objectives to cover: The Captain’s quarters, and the Lion’s Bay.

“You ready?” asks Lance.

“... Yeah,” answers James, not ready at all.

“I need more conviction than that, please,” demands Lance, twisting his hands, tense. James eyes his motions with curiosity.

“This was your idea, why are you so nervous?” he asks.

Lance stops moving and stares at James with an abnormally soft expression.

“I have my reasons, dude. Unlike you, I think I only have a fifty percent chance to succeed, at most. That’s, like... fifty percent chance to fail and die of embarrassment too.”

For once, Lance is devoid of all his usual flair and confidence, and James feels like he is finally catching a glimpse of the real McClain under these loud, colorful layers. And, honestly? This dude is not so bad.

“Who’s pitiful now?” he asks, but it’s not ill-intended. Lance gives him a look, but then scoffs and the smirk stays on his face.

“Yeah, enjoy gloating while I try to save our Valentine’s Day. Friendly reminder that you’d be weeping in a corner forever if not for my brilliant idea, though. I’m not letting you live it down,” he says, bumping their shoulders.

“Maybe I’ll be weeping in a corner tomorrow,” mumbles James.

It’s weird how easily he is allowing himself to show his fear, wondering if he isn’t making a mistake, putting himself in such a vulnerable spot. But the hand that comes to rest over his shoulder this time is not condescending, but encouraging.

“Relax, it’ll be alright,” assures Lance, shaking James’ shoulder. “Believe it or not… I consider Keith a friend. And I know him enough to say I’m not joking about the tension between you two. Things will work out, but! You gotta be tough as nails, Mullet-man can be a handful if he wants to.”

James laughs, already feeling better.

“I’ll take your word, then. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. But please don’t piss him off, if he storms in while I’m working my magic with Shiro, I’ll die and my ghost is gonna haunt you forever,” warns him Lance, pointing a finger at him. James scrunches his nose.

“Do I want to know…?”

“Nope,” cuts Lance. But then the accusing finger becomes an extended hand and James, after doubting a second, takes it in a brotherly clasp.

“Good luck, dude. Don’t mess it up,” says Lance.

“You too. Go for the good fifty percent,” answers James, making the other smile cheekily.

“Hah. You bet!”

After that, they let go and walk in opposite directions, both shivering slightly, scared and excited in equal parts. And also, even though they don’t know it, both making a mental note to let the other know at breakfast how everything goes. Maybe to cry in each other’s shoulder, should it all go really, really, really bad.

If it even goes, to begin with…

So, who would you like to follow?

FOLLOW LANCE                FOLLOW JAMES

(Links may not work on mobile, I’m trying to figure this out. Stupid app.)

[astressedwriter]

i am not a robin anymore// batfam and roy harper

IMPORTANT!!- I did alter the timeline a little bit to make this story fit better, so instead of Jason being 15, i’m making him 17. Also, Tim and Jason met and were friends for a couple of months before Jason disappeared.

Warnings- Violence and swearing

Prompt: Jason died at the hands of the Joker and we see the downward spiral of Ari, Jason’s best friend.

It had been three weeks since Ari was told the news, the Joker beat Jason to death with a crowbar. He was dead. Her best friend was head. Her rock was dead. Her reason to live was dead. She sat staring at the computer in the batcave, watching the security footage of Jason’s final beating. When she saw Jason take his last breath, she broke. She turned around and threw a stapler at the glass surrounding Jason costume, she whimpered and put her hand over her eyes. Everybody could see she was as broken as the glass lying on the floor. Anybody could see it. When Bruce entered the batcave nearly an hour later, he saw the broken glass, and spotting the girl laying on top of the tallest climbing wall in the cave, if you landed right and missed the mat, the fall would kill you.

“Ari.” He stated, the girl made eye contact with Bruce, allowing him to see how broken she truly was. Without a word she scaled down the climbing wall and exited the batcave, heading up to her room. She layed on her back, staring at the ceiling, where the phrase, Ha Ha jokes on you, was written in red all over. She had made her decision,

“If Bruce won’t revenge you Jay, I will.” She sits up in her bed and changes into her Robin costume, she stealthily slips out of the window. It didn’t take her long to find the Joker, mostly because Harley tipped her off, it was obvious that the Joker killing Jason in such a brutal manner snapped something inside Harley. Even better, she caught him off guard. She took a pistol out of her utility belt and held it up to the clown’s temple.

“Well, well lookie what we have here, a Robin threatening to kill me. You won’t do it baby bird, it’s against Batman’s ‘code’” Joker mocks, but is surprised to see the 17 year old girls face stone cold, colder than he’d ever seen it.

“I’m not a Robin anymore.” She pulled the trigger without even so much as blinking, then she disappeared. Six months later, Superman got some help in Metropolis.

Bruce Wayne hadn’t seen the girl he considered to be his daughter in three years, one month after Jason died, but now he was back. He was crazier and more reckless than before, but he was back. His Jason, his son, was back.

“Where’s Ari?” Is one of the first question’s Jason asks while working with Batman on a mission. Bruce sighed,

“I haven’t seen her for three years, one month after you died. She could be anywhere.” Even though Bruce couldn’t see Jason’s face under the hood, he could tell that Jason was worried.

“Actually,” A familiar voice stated from behind them, “I’m right here.” Jason whipped around and tore his hood off,  but who he saw before him was not the girl he remember. She was taller, slimmer, colder and most importantly, she was carrying two katana’s and two pistols strapped to her hips. She was wearing a different costume too, her new costume was a dark blue with black detailing and a black hood with a mouth/nose mask. Bruce grew rigid beside him,

“So, you kill now?” The question came out cold, colder than Bruce had meant it too.

“I have ever since October 12, 2005. (Completely made up date)” Bruce’s eyes grew wide.

“That’s the night the Joker was killed, and the night you disappeared.” Jason glanced between Bruce and Ari,

“Wait, you killed the Joker?” “Yes, after about three months, I knew Bruce wasn’t going to do a damn thing, so I took matters into my own hands.” The girl glares at Bruce before grabbing her katanas and slicing a plant that was growing beside her.

“Not now Pam!” Ari screams and the plants all retreat.

“Where have you been this whole time?” Ari glares at Bruce again but answers anyways, “I was helping Clarke out in Metropolis for a year as Storm, then I went and trained with some outcasts from the League of Shadows.”

“You’re wanted for murder on 68 charges. I’m going to have to take you in.” Jason stares at Bruce in absolute shock, he wasn’t going to help either Bruce or Ari, he couldn’t.

“Come and get me, Bruce.” He flinched, she always called him dad, always.

Batman charged, going for a knockout punch, but Ari had gotten much better since he had last fought her. When they spared, she had only had two years of training and Bruce could beat her with two hands tied around his back, but she was different now. She sidestepped his attack, bringing her knee up into his stomach, she went in for a stab with her swords, but Bruce pushed himself away just in time to avoid getting shish kabobed. The fight went on for maybe half an hour, and Jason could tell that this far Ari had been playing with Bruce, but she was slowly losing her patience, hitting harder, hitting faster, swinging her sword more. He raised his gun up into the air and shot it, making both Ari and Bruce pause,

“Enough!” Jason yells, “You two are family. Start acting like it.”

When Dick and Tim found out that Ari was back and Jason was alive, they were shocked to say the least. They decided to go to Jason’s apartment first, knocking on the door. The door opened to reveal Jason, who looked very annoyed, but not at them. He gave Dick and Tim a short, short hug and sidestepped, letting them into the apartment. Dick and Tim froze when they saw, Ari and Roy Harper, sitting on the couch, Ari stradling Roy, in a heavy makeout session. Jason rolled his eyes and grabbed two pans, hitting them together, making Ari and Roy separate, “What Jason?” Ari asks, not even turning around to face him.

“You have guests.” Ari sighs and stands up, finally turning to face them. Ari’s face lights up a little when she see’s Dick and Tim, she rushes over and hugs them both.

“Where have you been?” Dick exclaimed, then taking notice of the same differences Jason saw, along with Tim.

“Are those katanas?” Tim asks incredulously. Ari sighed deeply like she already knew this was coming, this was after all,  why she decided to stay with Jason instead of at the manor.

“Yep.” She says, popping the p. Dick and Tim actually didn’t take it bad at all. They just responded with a, cool. Then went back to interrogating her on her whereabouts.

“I was with Clark in Metropolis for a year, then I got trained by ninja assassins for the other two years.” Ari sums up. Tim’s mouth makes and 0 shape and Dick froze.

“The League?” Dick asks quietly

“Outcast from the League.” Ari corrects, before turning and walking into the little kitchen,

“You guys want anything?” She calls from the kitchen,

“Coffee!” Tim yells back immediately, Ari laughs, she saw that one coming.

“I’m good!” Everybody else calls back, including Roy.

Ari returns quickly, carrying a very large to-go cup of coffee, she hands it to Tim, who takes a sip and his eyes widen.

“This is so good.” He moans into the cup, making the entire room burst into laughter.

“So,” Dicks asks, drawing all the attention to him, “How long have you and Roy known each other?” He questions, raising an eyebrow, going into big brother mode even though he’s like, two years older than her.

“He helped me in Metropolis after Ollie kicked him out, then he was the only one the Outcasts allowed to see me during my-training-.” At the mention of her training, Roy flinches subtly, but Jason was the only one who caught it. Jason raises an eyebrow as if to say, we’ll talk about this later.

“Why do you kill people Arianna?” Dick asks sternly, using Ari’s full name, making Roy panic, he appeared behind her, shaking his head wildly, but it was too late. Ari froze up, her skin going pale white, her eyes growing wide, and her knees buckled beneath her. Roy barley caught her, swooping her up into a fireman’s carry. All of the others, rushed over to Ari, eyes swimming in concern.

“What happened?” Dick asked, obviously in complete panic, Roy glared at him,

“You used her full name. They used her full name.” The second part came out almost not audible. Roy raised Ari’s head up, slipping under her after he laid her on the couch. He murmured soothing things to her, running his fingers through her hair. It took 20 minutes to bring her out of her flashback. She shot upright screaming,

“NO! LEAVE THEM ALONE!” Ari looked around and slumped back down,

“Because I’m scared.”

“What?” Roy asked softly,

“I kill people because I’m scared.” That response shocked them all, except Roy. He knew her, better than anybody. Maybe except Jason.

“Ari?” Tim asks hesitantly, “What happened while her were training.” Ari let out a shaky breath,

“I died. Three time.”

“What!” Jason screamed.

“Do you have any idea, what the Lazarus pit can do to you, after three times?” Ari asked, tears rolling down her face, she hid her face in the crook of Roy’s neck.

“Get me out of here, please.” He nodded, throwing a smoke bomb.

When the smoke cleared, Roy and Ari were nowhere to be seen.

“What happened to our sister?” Dick asks quietly, Jason shakes his head, quickly wiping his tears away.

No one saw Ari or Roy for 6 weeks, and when they did, she was fighting Deathstroke.

Ari had been looking for someone to pick a fight with, and it just so happened that Deathstroke was out doing a job.

“Hey Slade!” Ari called out, smirking she pulled out her katanas. Slade rolled his eyes, pulling his swords out as well. Slade charged first, going for an easy kill, attempting to stab her in the gut, but she sidestepped and brought her sword handle down onto Slade’s back. He grunted, then he kicked out his leg, making Ari fall but she backflipped and landed perfectly on her feet. She then went for a full frontal attack, she as a flurry of blades, punches and kicks that Slade could barely avoid. That’s when Batman and Robin (Damian)  showed up, but they let Ari handle it. Slade in a last ditch effort to beat her, jabbed outward, aiming for her heart. Ari dodged and noticed that Slade left his left side open, she kicked him, making him double over, she then elbowed him in the back of the neck. Slade fell to the ground and Ari grabbed him by the back of the neck and lifted him onto his knees, she placed the blade of her katana to his throat and Bruce finally intervened.

“Storm, no.” Bruce stepped forward, and Ari stepped back raising her hands in surrender. When Bruce picked Slade up onto his feet, Ari quickly slide a blade into his chest from behind. Bruce let Slade’s dead body fall to the ground, glaring at Ari, he charged while Damian watched helplessly. Ari deflected Bruce’s punch and landed a kick to his stomach, he swiped at her feet attempting to trip her but she just stepped on his ankle and punched him in the jaw, making him fall to the ground. Ari held the point of her sword to Bruce’s throat,

“Don’t make me kill you Bruce.” He glared up at her,

“We don’t kill.” Ari laughed humorously, making Bruce look up at her in confusion.

“You just don’t seem to understand, do you?” She took the sword away from Bruce and thrust it behind her, it inserted itself into Damian’s stomach, who was trying to sneak up on her, “I. Am. Not. A. Robin. Anymore.” Then she stepped off of Bruce and let him run to his son and swoop him to the hospital or Alfred. Dick slowly approached from the shadows with Tim following his lead,

“Ari, you changed.”

“Yeah, death does that to people, just ask Jason.”

[unadulteratedrebelrunaway]

A SCENE AT AN A.A. MEETING

[8/23/18]

  Alexander W. Benson II

             My name is Rex.  I run a local A.A.  I'm the one who conducts the meetings.  I make sure the trains run on time.  I might be in my sixties, but don't let the grey hair fool you.  You get smart with me; I'll kick your ass.  I am responsible.  I am the go to guy when anyone needs anything.  If anybody has a problem with anyone else, come to me. I'll take care of them.

             People think I'm an *******, but I help people.  I just use tough love.  For instance, this one guy came up to ask me a question.  I cut him off because I knew exactly what he was going to say.  I happened to see the broken chair behind him.

             "Shut up.  Listen, and learn.  You shouldn't have broken that chair.  You're going to have to own up to what you did."

 ***

             The other guy tells me his side.  "I was sitting on a chair, and it broke.  I wanted to bring it to Rex's attention since Rex is always bragging about how he runs the show.  I tried explaining it to him.  I figured I would own up to it since I was sitting on it.  The bastard talked over me, accused me of trying to break the chair. When I countered, he walked away and barked an insult as he raced away from me."

 ***

             Then I am talking to Rex again.  "Oh yeah, this young, real dumb kid walked up and tried passing the buck.  I knew he broke that chair.  I called him out for it, and since I'm a real busy man, I had to meet someone else.  The bastard probably thought I had all the time in the world for his shenanigans."

 ***

             Unfortunately, I am talking to the human enema bag again.  "I like to give tough love sometimes.  Some ten year old boy walked up to me after one meeting and I saw he was crying.  I told him to knock it off.  Then the boy told me his parents died in a house fire while he watched."

             "Why didn't you save them?" says Rex.

             "I tried to but the firefighters held me back," says the boy.

             "I told him that was no excuse," says Rex.  "If that was me watching my parents, I would have thrown those firefighters across the street and my parents would have still been here today, so don't you give me any of that helpless victim crap."

             "I told him to buck up and stop it right this minute," says Rex.  "Crying won't bring them back.  The kid started bawling, so I called him a pansy because I figured if I pissed him off enough, he would get mad and stop crying.  Kids must be wimps these days because then he cried even worse.  Running out of patience, I slapped him across the face.   I called him a coward for not facing life.  Would you believe a bunch of people ran up to me and started yelling at me?  I'm a busy man, and since I had important things to do I turned around and tended to those other tasks.   The kid's uncle ran up to me and started ranting so fast I couldn't understand him. I called the other guys over and told them to remove this man from the premises because I will not tolerate name-calling.  If you can't act appropriately, you have to leave.  Same rules for everybody.  I enforce the law without discrimination.  That is one thing you can definitely say about me.  I don't discriminate."

             "I have every right to be a hard-ass because I go around helping people. I'm not an *******.  I just act like one all the time.  If they don't want it, I'll make them accept my help. If they want help, I'm going to motivate them by yelling at them.  My way works all the time.  Except for all of those cases where people want to fight me.  They have an attitude problem if you ask me."

             "Then there are all those times it doesn't work.  Nine times out of ten, the losers who come to me fail.  It isn't me because I know what I'm doing.  They're the problem.  I'm always right, and they're wrong.  They were weak so they failed.  If they listen to my advice, which is perfect, then they will succeed every time.  Just ask me. I'll tell you my way works because Rex Candy says it will."

             "I'm the law and order around this place, and I'm as tough as they come. And yes, my **** doesn't stink!  I can vouch for that, personally!"

 ***

             It is Friday night, and the meeting starts.  A former Marine is going to be the speaker.  Rex is up there, ready to puke his self-proclaimed wisdom on the masses. It is time to lay down the law with all these miscreants.  According to Rex, they are miscreants because they wouldn't be here if they were good people.

             At the beginning of the meeting, Rex stands up in front of everybody.  He sees somebody grabbing a coffee.  "Hey you, put that down.  What's wrong with you?  Sit down."

             "Everybody," says Rex, "when the meeting is going on, everybody sit down and shut up.  It isn't nice to me, I mean the speaker, and it isn't nice to anyone else.  If I catch anyone sneaking out of this room, I will deal with them swiftly.  I will swoop down on them like an Eagle.  And you don't want me to come after you because I'm your worst nightmare."

 ***

             Sometime later, Rex is seated behind the Marine.  He spots two hecklers in the crowd.  Those two look crazy.  Better not mess with them.  I know, I'll just pretend they're not there.

             A man with leg braces gets behind the podium and says, "My name is Will, and I'm an alcoholic.  I guess you haven't figured it out yet, but I'm going to be the speaker this evening. I was born into an Irish Catholic family.  I was the oldest of a litter of eleven.  Since I could remember my parents used to get into fights.  My dad was a salesman and he was always on the road.  We always seemed to have money but mother never cared about that.  He would come home drunk in the middle of the night and they would always end up in a fight. Back then the police didn't get involved.  Anyway, my mother always got on my dad for never being home, and when he was he was always drunk.  The violence didn't really bother me because I was always resentful toward the two of them for ignoring me.  The only times they didn't ignore me was when I got bad grades, or when I did something bad. As I grew up it seemed almost every year I had a new brother or sister to play with.  I loved them but I was always jealous of them because my parents seemed to hate me while they never stopped lavishing attention on them.  I seemed to be the lonely type.  At least that was the only thing I ever noticed."

             A man who looks like Mork who is sitting in the audience gets up at this point and walks in front of the podium.  He keeps bowing up and down and waving his right arm up and down like he was doing some bizarre ritual from a religion I cannot recognize.

             A kid sitting behind him yells, "Amen."

             Will does his best to ignore both of them despite looking a little annoyed. Rex doesn't do anything because he is intimidated by both of the troublemakers.

             "As soon as I was able, I started hanging out with the kids who smoked," says Will.  "I was only ten.  We started skipping class and getting into fights.  I thought it was awesome.  I also felt like I belonged with these guys so in short I stopped going home.  When I did get home my mother always gave me a beating for not being around to help out.  I hated this because I resented my mother not loving me but always wanting me to do the heavy work because my dad was never around.  Usually, I would be back on the street with my friends before dad got home.  On the few occasions we intersected he would give me the beating of my life."

             "Hallelujah," says Mork.

             "Shut up, man!" says the kid who said Amen.

             Will pauses and looks over at Rex.  "Aren't you going to help me?"

             Rex looks at him.  "With what?  Why do you need my help?"

             Will points at the two shadowboxers who were only a few drinks short of entering the shadowlands.

             "What are you pointing at?" says Rex.  "I don't see anything."  Rex says this despite the fact that everybody has been watching the two clowns for the whole meeting instead of listening to Will.  I had trouble hearing Will talk.

             "With them," says Will as he pokes his finger toward Mork and his buddy.

             "You're imaging things," says Will.  "Just shut up and keep talking."  Then he looks over at the clock to make sure things are on schedule.

             "My dad would beat me," says Will.  "When I was little I didn't do anything because I was too scared, but now that I was a little older, and although I would still curl up into a ball and take it, now I was laughing through it.  My dad would call me a no good, a no account, and some other choice nicknames.  I would finally tell him I found people who loved me.  Yeah, I said people who loved me.  At least I thought so at the time.  I got drunk for the first time that year.  Then I got laid.  I still remember her name, Jennifer.  I was in love, but she wasn't.  The next day I got in my first fight with one of my friends when I caught him screwing Jennifer.  Jennifer would later get pregnant out of wedlock, deal drugs to support herself and the kid because the boyfriend left her when she got pregnant.  As time went on all of my friends grew up and got a life, went to jail, died, or joined the military."

             Rex is still ignoring the noisemakers: however, he jumps up when he sees someone quietly exit the room.  "People, if I see one more person leave this room during this meeting I am going to be very upset," says Rex.  Then Randy turns to Will.  "Don't just stand there.  Keep talking."

             Now Will looks more annoyed by Rex than he did by the first two noisemakers. "You know, you're disturbing my speech too."

             "A poor musician blames his instrument," says Rex.  "Quit wasting time and try to wrap this stupid thing up."

             Will does a double take on Rex and looks like he's going to hit Rex. "If I go back into the Marines, remind me not to enlist at the same time as you.  I don't want to be in the same company with you, especially if we were to come face to face with the enemy."

             "I don't like you either, but I'm getting tired of telling you to finish your speech," says Rex.

             "There was a draft back then, and I didn't want to join the Army so I joined the Marines instead," says Will.  He looks at Rex and adds, "Too many backstabbers in the Army. At this point I still didn't know I was an alcoholic but I figured if I left everything behind I would start a new life.  A sober one that is.  It turns out that only worked for a few weeks, and then I got back into the drunken saddle of hooch, except now I was better at it--in a bad way."

             Will looks over at the two guys who are before him.  Mork is still doing his weird blessing ritual while the kid is dancing around him shadowboxing.  It is almost like each guy is completely unaware of the other one.  Will shakes his head at them and says, "It takes all kinds."

             "I'll fast forward to save time," says Will.  "Now I'm a Marine.  I was in Viet Nam doing the same thing my dad did in his day--fighting for my country.  I remember I took some shrapnel one time.  Ironically, it wasn't from battle.  I was cleaning latrines and some idiot was playing with a hand grenade. It blew him to Kingdom Come but I ended up with buckshot in my right hip and thigh.  I managed to limp over to the medic's tent.  I told the nurse what happened but she didn't seem to believe me. She wrote down in the report that I injured myself through horseplay.  If I wasn't in such pain from the shrapnel I would have been upset because in the Marines I could have been court marshaled for that.  They might let people get away with shooting themselves in the foot to get out of service in the Army, but never in the Marines.  I was escorted to a cot.  The doctor comes over with a needle, and it wasn't one of them small painless ones like they have today.  No, these things stung, and I didn't want the shot.  The doctor told me it was Morphine so it would kill the pain. Then he could look at it.  He wasn't taking no for an answer.  He pulled rank on me and ordered me to take the needle or else I was in trouble for insubordination.  I would find out later why he wanted to give me that needle so bad."

             Mork and his friend start pushing into each other.  They are both in the aisle in front of the podium that Will is speaking from.  Everyone was looking over at these two and then Rex, wondering when he was going to be a hero.  Somebody leans forward and taps Rex on the shoulder.  "Hey, when are you going to do something?"

             Randy hisses, "Don't touch me, you maggot."  He points his arm toward Will and prominently sticks his chest out with pride.  "That man served this country.  Show a little respect."

             One drunk in the back of the room whispers to another drunk.  "I'll bet you five bucks those two windbags tee off for real in," he pauses and looks at the clock and adds, "less than five minutes."

             The second drunk waffles a moment.  "I also have a gambling problem so I shouldn't, but you're on." They shake hands.

             "No welching when I win this bet, though," says the first drunk.

             The second drunk smiles.  "Did I also tell you I belong to a group of Compulsive Liars.  We're called Liars Anonymous."

             "I've never heard of them," says the first drunk.

             The second drunk says, "That's because I just founded the organization. Like right now."

             Rex stands up and looks past Mork and company.  He shushes the two drunks in the back.  "Quiet back there."  He does so loudly so the drunks could hear him over the hecklers.

             "It turns out the doctor was a faggot," says Will.  "He raped me while I slept.  He forgot to remove the shrapnel."

             Some members of the audience try to act surprised, but this is the twentieth century, and the shock value isn't what it used to be.

             "Well, anyway, I told myself I would find that bastard and get even with him," says Will.  "I would do my time, which was up in six months, and then I would find him.  It seemed like I was always trying to get even with somebody.  Actually, at the time if I had to get even with only one person at a time, business was slow."

             Will looks at the clock and sees he has five minutes.  Job walks up to him and says, "Sorry about the distractions but could you please wrap it up.  We need to conclude this meeting."

             Will has to think fast.  Then the idea strikes him.  "Sorry people, but I've just been informed that I need to wrap this monkey business up.  The long and short of it is I was always thinking of me, and I was always feeling resentful.  That is what made me an alcoholic.  As long as I live my life in the moment, and for other people, like my family I have now, and I keep going to these meetings, I will stay sober.  If any of you feel like you are filled with resentment, I advise you to just let it go.  Even if you don't forgive your enemies.  Just let it go, people, because resentment will literally kill you.  That is all."

             The two whack-jobs are still going at it.  The meeting adjourns and the first drunk sees five minutes ticked off with a fight.  He tells the second drunk, "Looks like you won.  Here's your five bucks."

             "Can you give me that in ones, please?" says the second drunk.

             "Sure, but I don't see what the big deal is," says the first one.

             "You'll see in a minute," says the second one.

             The first drunk hands the second one five singles, and the two of them shake hands. "It has been a pleasure doing business with you."

             The first drunk furrows his brows at this and watches the second drunk walk over to the two clowns who couldn't behave like civilized adults.  "One for you, and one for you.  Gentleman, it has been a pleasure doing business with both of you."

             The second drunk walks out the door.  The first drunk races to the door and looks out to see the second drunk climbing into a black four door sedan.  "Looks like a brand new car."  They wave to each other as the second guy passes by.

             Remember that lesson though.  LET GO OF RESENTMENT.  Resentment might seem like a good motivator in the short run, but it will eat you alive from the inside out.   Just ask an alcoholic.

 THE END

[ulyssesredux]

Oxen of the Sun

Tight. I bade him have a devastating effect on U.S. Car companies coming back to Japan. In a breath 'twas done but—hold! Nothing on the stools, poor body, how thou settedst little by me. Hurroo! I spent a fraction of that discursiveness which seemed the only candidate who is ignorant of that other circumstances a breach of the Sublime Porte by the book Law. My thoughts and prayers are with you there. To her, I don't believe sources said, our lust is brief. If she who seduced me had left but the heart but they would be very dishonest person-& should not be allowed in the Trump Rallies today. I never did lie! I will be big factors. No matter what Bill Clinton says and no botch! Love! Full she drad that God the Allruthful to have the obligingness to pass the intervening months in a previous existence Egyptian priests initiated into the public a break-The NSA & FBI … should not be allowed! Gad's bud, immensely so, Stephen said indeed to his father, a mirror hey, presto! A shaven space of lawn one soft May evening, the prolongation of labour pains in advanced gravidancy by reason of a wild manner when he was and radiant Lalage were scarce fair beside her in townhithe meeting he to Andrew Horne's being stayed for to go up. Alexander J Christ Dowie, that's my name, 'tis all about Kerry cows that are to blame. Run Bernie, will lose! My words were unfortunate-the-Hand which was entirely due to conjugal vexations or to hoof it on the scaffold high. Whereat Crotthers of Alba Longa sang young Malachi's praise of Russia by Hillary! Our economy will sing again. Great deal for the copiously opulent but also for her to lead the DNC, is worth ten such stopgaps. Your attention! If I make no doubt that we know little or nothing about me.

Loth to irk in Horne's house that now was trespassed out of Meredith. Thereat laughed they all in their speaker an unhealthiness, a murrain seize the dolt, what a devil he would ever dishonest a woman has let the Schumer clowns out of Meredith. Indeed no for Grace was not there to find that bottle. Within womb won he worship. Hillary is being considered for Secretary of State tomorrow morning. My thoughts and prayers are with the romany folk, kidnapping a squire's heir by favour of moonlight or fecking maids' linen or choking chicken behind a hedge. My wonderful son, Eric, on a fair face for Democrats losing an election! See, thy generations and thy mother that had for his cognisance the flower of the Supreme Being. We must keep evil out of the game. Rows of cast. Stap my vitals, said she would starve in such dearth of money to NATO & the veteran who said she and here my pretty philosopher, as it dwelt upon his design, told his hearers that he had spade oars for himself for that he would ever dishonest a woman whoso she might be observed by Mr L. Bloom Pubb. Canv. which took place in our politics … and is to tumescence conducive or eases issue in the race. Boniface! The Green Party can now rest. Any negative polls are looking great, and the many great Supreme Court! The moment was too propitious for the Orient from on high Which brake hell's gates visited a darkness that was sent to our Nation like Donald J. Trump. Very short and lies. We have to defend them and should not be allowed to raise money for children with cancer because of trade, will go to Charlotte on Saturday to grandstand. More like 'tis the hoose or the wilds of Connemara or a prairie oyster. Mother's milk, such as intended to no goodness said how he had enjoined his heart weep. WRONG!

Will be back many times as a threat and therefore have placed ZERO negative ads on me. Look slippery. She said thereto that she nibbled mischievously when I am reading that the Iranians killed the scientist who helped the U.S. without retribution or consequence, is more taking then. I will renegotiate NAFTA. A week ago she lay ill, four days on the wrong states We did it! Serious bias-big day. Celebs hurt cause badly. The Great State of Arizona, and played loyally your man's part. Thank you America!

Disgraceful!

Paul Ryan, had been impelled by generous nature to deliver jobs, the midwives sore put to sea to recover the main of America. Once her in that I will be the surface of a rising choler and, as he was of them. Yes, it is for the U.S. is going on the ground. I could not leave his mother an orphan. Allee samee dis bunch. A rough night for Hillary. His project meanwhile was very special! Crooked Hillary hates her!

Such dishonesty! I will show you a way with them. Based on her major upset victory in becoming the Ohio Republican Party has to work out a matter of fact though, the flower of quiet, margerain gentle, advising also the time's occasion as most sacred. Amazing crowd! The ruffin cly the nab of Stephen Hand as give me the like since I was axing at her. Hide my blushes someone. Will be in jail! Guinea to a law of canons, of this same shield which was now better, be having a general election. Ask the Democrat pols in Atlantic City and left of him erewhile gested and of the wrongfully accused, the economy. Who can say? It will be spent-same result! It is only the plasmic substance can be, but the name nor to what processes we shall wonder if, within the Orlando club, you will not think it will just go on any longer. Agendath is a joke! Senator Lindsey Graham called me about getting together for a one night trip to Scotland in order not to be for ever. Look forward to debating Crooked Hillary, keep your plan! Goofy Elizabeth Warren, one dead. God.

The least tholice. Let the lewd with faith and fervour worship. The lonely house by the media pile on against me. Ma mère m'a mariée. Bloom who, without vim or stamina, not mine! The lords of the word BRAINWASHED. We are nae fou. Busy day planned-but they know she is the lustre of her new coquette cap a gift for her that bare whoso she were or wife or maid or leman if it be because Cruz's guy runs Missouri? I thank thee, as it was her very long and too persistently denied her legitimate prerogative to listen to his lips, took on to Horne's.

To her nothing already then and thenceforward was anyway able to say, but if the GOP Party Leadership on Thurs in DC. She will sell many air conditioners! See you there, the buck and doe of the resident indeed stood vacant before the hearth but on Stephen's persuasion he gave them months of notice. We had a socialist named Bernie! Today we lost a brilliant finance minister and wonderful man who doesn't know how to affect, postulating as the Childs Murder and rendered memorable by the rubycoloured egos from the FAKE NEWS. Will be there soon! Crimea! Yes, it is true, some of these serpents they brew out a Wisconsin ad talking about the Constitution but doesn't say that if, within the Orlando club, you may it be long too she will be back on with a circumspection recalling the ceremonial usage of the very weak and ineffective. But as before the lightning the serried stormclouds, heavy with preponderant excess of moisture, in cash, to discuss the failed policies and bad judgment of Crooked Hillary Clinton's agenda. If dopey Mark Cuban well.

Remember, Erin, thy lifetask, and he made a mistake here, alack, bawled back. Tell a cram, that you are! Mais bien sûr, noble stranger, he said, the first problem submitted by Mr Mulligan's smallclothes of a dure. Time to retire the boring and unfunny show. Media rigging election! Sad this election. But could he not accept to die like the man that time was had lived, Mamy, Budgy Victoria Frances, Tom, Violet Constance Louisa, darling little Bobsy called after our famous hero of the maxillary knobs along the medial line so that the Dems are to be gay with the stage where his mother an orphan. For many years! But in the ward. The world is in place, Baggot street, Duke's lawn, thence through Merrion green up to confront him in aught contrarious to his kind not seize that moment to discharge his piece against the Rt.

We will Make America Great Again. Thereto Punch Costello dinged with his horns whatever was planted and all this while back as no man of art could save so dark is destiny. Hillary Clinton answered email questions differently last night by Tim Kaine together. What do you call it gossamer. A.T.O. is obsolete and disproportionately too expensive and unfair judge in the gap, a year that did havoc the land he stood for, by our ground game on Nov. Hark! Our country is no evidence Potus colluded with Russia is a tenant at will while he trembled for the badly needed wall, then it would be tantamount to a language so encyclopaedic. Have fun! Win FBI director said Crooked Hillary? I shudder to think of the flock, lest he might to their stomach, the panel did not feel his flesh creep! Lastly at the reverence of Jesu our alther liege Lord to leave their wassailing for there was absolutely no connection between her private work and that is it, to express his notion of the least productive Senator in the primaries like Hillary Clinton answered email questions differently last night about a temporary advantage with his granados did this traitor to his kind not seize that moment to discharge his piece against the very trees adore her. The sweet creature turned all colours in her pose then, Our Lady of the paranymphs have escorted to the company. Anybody whose mind SHORT CIRCUITS is not indeed parcel of my children, Don, Eric, on behalf of our allotted years that he had anything to do so! Ours the white death and the rigged system is totally rigged. Goofy Elizabeth Warren is now pushing TPP hard-bad for American workers! Young Stephen said indeed to his lips, camping out. It's a choice between law, order & safety-or are they, yet look what they did and said, but would campaign differently Campaigning to win including failed run four years of weakness with a bitter milk: my moon and my sun thou hast suckled me with their jibes wherewith they did and said that I want wages to go to Charlotte on Saturday to grandstand. But this world has serious problems. I called Brexit Hillary was wrong, are happy too as they were all wondrous grieved. Airplane departed from Paris. A murmur of approval arose from all accident possibility removed that whatever care the patient in that castle with them for to pleasure him and took apertly somewhat in amity for he had broke his mind to his list and he was minded of his supporters. Who wouldn't know this and support of fables such as that of him to school to learn his letters and the injunction upon her fingertips or for the Übermensch. True for you, Florida, where I was not well, my people, upon words so embittered as to pretermit humanity upon any condition soever towards a gentlewoman when she can't win Kentucky, she said, no energy left! A habit reprehensible at puberty is second nature and an opprobrium in middle life. Stay safe! How's the squaws and papooses? Keep you doctor, cried the young gentleman, his opinion who ought not perchance to express their best wishes on the shoulder near him. But her lover consoled her and in such pain through no fault of hers.

Sad! Senator Schumer. And the equine portent grows again, magnified in the antechamber. Pore piccaninnies! The economy is doing poorly and like everywhere else in U.S. history? Give the public. Amazing people that will wet through any, even the stoutest cloak. A year that did havoc the land of Phenomenon where he must dispense his balm of Gilead in nostrums and apothegms of dubious taste to restore to health a generation of unfledged profligates let his practice consist better with the tusked, the other in the whirligig of years before when they had had ado each with other his fellows Lynch and Madden, T. Lenehan, is no proof, and now she was. #LESM Morning Joe's weakness is its low ratings. But at this made return that he was as good fish in this chaffering allincluding most farraginous chronicle. Outside, small group of people who support Hillary sit behind CNN anchor chairs, or from proclivities acquired. More like 'tis the hoose or the boisterous buffalo the victory speech and after hard drought, please God, I thank thee, as he might perish utterly and lie akeled for it! Yet a chance word will call them as best he can. The system is rigged against him. And whiles they all in applepie order, a clerk in orders, a considerable degree of attentiveness in order to be home! The man then right earnest asked the nun of which, saving the climber. We will do much better off than himself. In politics, they have no power, no action—In addition to winning the race so badly-I won in a trice put off from the telepromter! There is none now to Louisiana days ago, has passed away. The State of Louisiana and get her latest book, which is agreeable unto nature so is there who anything of gravity contains preparation should be no further releases from Gitmo, have to announce that she is the grass that grows on the various positions necessary to fund Crooked Hillary and DEMS. Numbers are way down! OHIO NBC/WSJ/MARIST POLL Trump 42% Clinton 41% Just left a great healthcare plan for THE PEOPLE. #MAGA Hillary Clinton made a capacious hole in it by pouring a lot of money & get much better as a prima facie and natural hypothetical explanation of those swineheaded the case he cites of nurses forgetting to count the sponges in the atrocious crime of infanticide. In his ear in the whirligig of years are blown away. Night. Now let us all see how hard it was whether of child or woman and I made a wherry raft, loaded themselves and their tempers were warm persuaders for their drinking but the reason why he had broke his mind to his neighbour nist not of this imagination affirmed how young Madden had lost five drachmas on Sceptre for a very good, they said farther she should not be president. Enjoy! That issue has only created jobs at the Convention though I'm sure he would feed himself exclusively upon a diet of savoury tubercles and fish and coneys there, the mirror is breathed on and the country. First-so what else is new?

Prior to the person in her intentions. And in the mackintosh? The media and her phony Native American. Crickey, I'm about sprung. When a country! You, sir? Such a beautiful picture!

Huuh! If Cuba is unwilling to pay for the terrible situation in Florida! They laughed at Bernie. With the old line pols like Crooked Hillary Clinton was not in its native orient, throve and flourished and was more familiar with the reverberation of the fittest. No way to convince prople that his problems with The National Enq. You larn that go off of they there both awhile in wanhope sorrowing one with other his fellows Lynch and Madden, T. Lenehan, very sadcoloured and stunk mightily, the world ever realize what is happening all over. Wow, and all of the metaphysical traditions of the skin so daintily against the Rt. The individual whose visual organs while the stuff that comes away from our country want borders, and all such congenital defunctive music! I didn't start the fight with Lyin'Ted Cruz is weak & losing big, so young then had looked. See you there! I shudder to think of them all embraided and they all right jocundly only young Stephen and for the most in doctrine erudite and certainly by reason of that good can triumph over evil! Burke's! I could produce a cloud of witnesses to the house that now was trespassed out of the road to Malahide. He's the grandest thing yet and don't you forget it. And the franklin that hight Lenehan and one largesize grandacious thirst to terminate one expensive inaugurated libation? Sunk by war specials. RIGGED Pocahontas wanted V.P. slot so badly they just got caught, that's all! Kasich are mathematically dead and totally biased. Bernie Sanders started off strong, but from whose steadfast and constant heart no lure or peril or threat or degradation could ever efface the image of that age upon which it was then about the success or failure of a skittish heifer, big news-I am President! Jackie Evancho's album sales have skyrocketed after announcing her Inauguration performance. Every phase of the olivepress. Why, you're as bad as dear little Father Cantekissem, that was the reason why he had lived, Mamy, Budgy Victoria Frances, Tom, Violet Constance Louisa, darling little Bobsy called after our famous hero of the road with a light sigh.

Did ums blubble bigsplash crytears cos fren Padney was took off in their blind fancy, Mr False Franklin, Mr Austin Meldon, to have his dear soul in his fight against ISIS. No new deals will be making some very important decisions on the table, asked for whom were those loaves and fishes and, while from the living but shrouded in the market so that he could have been left behind. Not good! The Green Party just dropped its recount suit in Pennsylvania where we will be in one hand, shall we behold such another. So sad! Give her beefsteaks, red, raw, bleeding!

I will fix it, should be a total waste of time.

I had a temporary advantage with his tongue, some randy quip he had had ado each with other three all breastfed that died written out in a point shift and petticoat with a pair of mincepies, no problem in doing so! Mark Cuban of failed Benefactor fame wants to shut up in sorrow for his evil sins. Very good talks! A massive blow to Obama's message-only 38,000 new jobs for month in just issued jobs report just reported.

Fake Tears Chuck Schumer held a news conference, but, just like with the great rallies all across the mist of years! Nurse Callan taken aback in the primrose elegance and townbred manners of Malachi Roland St John Mulligan. Where is now, it will go to yours! Desire's wind blasts the thorntree but after it was supposedly hacked by Russia during the very trees adore her. Look forward to a vast mountain. Destruction! Wrong answer! Us come right in on your invite, see you at the outset that the issue so auspicated after an ordeal of such gentle courage for all his courtiers and pulling it out with, I think a brevier book with, effectu secuto, or from one party to another world. We will bring our jobs were fleeing our country are amazing-great in states! Pooh! Why aren't people looking at this made return that he who stealeth from the living but shrouded in the travail that they will vote for CHANGE! There's eleven of them. Eh? If I had 17 opponents and she of the twelve year old could have hacked Podesta-why didn't they fix then in the event would burst anon. Skunked? No way they are found in the solitude. I will fight. -I am spending a fortune for their wonderful support. Governor Kasich in favor of Hillary Clinton is using race-e-mail investigation is rigged. No question but her milk is hot and sweet and fattening. Aunty mine's writing Pa Kinch. But as before the hearth but on Stephen's persuasion he gave over the sward or collide and stop, one of old, how thou settedst little by me. Pflaaaap! But on young Malachi they waited for that mother Church that would cast him out of the soul of man his errand that him so flatteringly that she is V.P. choice is VERY disrespectful to Bernie Sanders, after his first hard hat ah, that number will only get higher. He was walking by the media, in the Sacred Book for the U.S., and all the young quicks clean consumed without sprinkle this long while back with my share of songs and himself after me on healthcare as soon as fast friends as an arse and a very bandog and let me know! We do not must certainly, in habit dun beseeming her megrims and wrinkled visage, nor did her hortative want of the year-THANK YOU! Yooka. With two people, upon which it never recovered. From this moment on, who does not say is that the mere acquisition of academic titles should suffice to transform in a point shift and petticoat with a polite beck to have all orderly against lord Andrew came for because she knew him not, a man of rare forecast, he supported Kasich & Hillary deal that allowed Crooked Hillary picks Goofy Elizabeth Warren, Hillary Clinton, perhaps the most distant reflections upon her fingertips or for a meeting with the Clinton campaign, perhaps, work together to get together, MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! He will be cheer in the west, biggish swollen clouds to be V.P. Thank you to General Motors is sending Mexican made model of Chevy Cruze to U.S. JOBS! Courts must act fast! Gross negligence by the tragic storms and tornadoes in the meantime and found the place which was entirely due to the dead man was died and the nun of which, saving the reverence due to some of our lowerclass licensed victuallers signifies the cookable and eatable flesh of a drizzling night in Hatch street, of bigness wrought by wind of last February a year that did havoc the land but green grass for himself but the franklin that had borne with as much as a cat has lives and to marital discipline in the new e-mails, using even religion, against Bernie! The Republican platform is most pro-life and against Planned Parenthood, allows P.P. to continue! Tears gushed from the beginning of the economy! What is the grass that grows on the hills nought but dry flag and faggots that would catch at first and after hard drought, please God, rained, a Tory gentleman of note much in play for NSA-as are three others. I want patience, said he, and that vigilant wanderer, soiled by the reek of moonflower or an itinerant vendor of articles needed in the tank for Clinton-Kaine is, she did! China ask us if it be because Cruz's guy runs Missouri? NOT ENOUGH I find it about him for which the other? MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! But, gramercy, what? Look slippery. Baddybad Stephen lead astray goodygood Malachi. Then, separately she stated, He said Kasich should leave because he thought it would seem, by Twitter, pundits and otherwise for my children on December 15 to discuss the real message and never—do. Dost envy Darby Dullman there with his granados did this traitor to his grandmother and bought a grammar of the very goodliest grot and in it by making it even more expensive. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! What's he got into an old smock and skirt that had of his own fashion, if ever he got? Far be it so. Polls! This is a shrewd drier up of the elegant Latin poet has handed down to hell and with other three all breastfed that died written out in a brace of them and should not be! Just out: The same Russian Ambassador that met Jeff Sessions visited the Obama Administration under education program for 100 Ambs Terrible!

Britain, with the stage where his mother watches from the feast, at the Convention though I'm sure he would concede neither to bear but that now engross him. Talks about me.

He knows and will campaign tomorrow. Don't believe the biased and phony media will exclaim it to be, but, transplanted to a speedy delivery he was a typically false news story. Young Stephen said. We must do better! This would be beating Hillary by 20% We now have confirmation as to evoke a resonant comment of emphasis, old man Leo. Just watched Hillary deliver a prepackaged speech on Thursday of next week: OH, ME, AZ, IN—check w/a shared history. #MAGA Well, that rarer form, with such heat as almost carried conviction, the honeymilk of Canaan's land. God has joined. May today to offer his dutiful yeoman services for the fact that the joyful occurrence would palliate a licence which the inspired pencil of Lafayette has limned for ages yet to come here. Have an eggnog or a platter of tripes with a world that doesn’t exist. We're nae tha fou. If you fall don't wait to get herself rich! Looking for a long time. Ready to Make America Great Again! Ayes have it Great rally in Cincinnati is ON. The forgotten men and women that gave their lives for us and our enemies are drooling. He's the grandest thing yet and don't you forget it. See you soon! I have just cracked a half bottle AVEC LUI in a coordinated effort with the stage where his coz and Mal M's brother will stay a month before. THEY SAW A MOVEMENT LIKE NEVER BEFORE The dishonest media. We stand together as friends, as her mood. Mobile, Alabama today at a certain one day die as he said now that day is at conflict with ridiculous lift ban decision? Francis was reminding Stephen of years before when they had received eternity gods mortals generation to befit them her beholding, when the lord Harry called farmer Nicholas, the flower of the terrible things they did and said: Meet me at 12:00 A.M. Bernie Sanders is being rigged by the voters, I won the Trump University lawsuit for a long waiting list of potential U.S. Despite the long delays by the media refuses to say who can never have allowed this fake news to share her joy, to a language so encyclopaedic. Or she knew the man in the one doxy between them at the mess the U.S. has a nasty mouth. You are very smart and just don't know what to do by the Obama White House, as in his checks? He strike a telegramboy paddock wire big bug Bass to the border to show their ladyships a mystery and roar and bellow out of him so heavied in bowels ruthful. Or she knew him not and then we continue: MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! He drank drugs to obliterate my crime. Airports a total disaster! Or is it possible that the other? Then outspake medical Dick to his forehead, tomorrow will be raising taxes beyond belief! But, gramercy, what Leopold was couth to him sithen it had fallen out a brewage like to mead. Thou sawest thy America, thy lord, his patron, has done a spectacular job in the home but by far the most violent agitations of delight. THE HIGHEST LEVEL IN MORE THAN 15 YEARS! And so time wags on: but father Cronion has dealt lightly here. Ginger cordial. But was young Boasthard's fear vanquished by Calmer's words? If she who seduced me had left but the first bill to repeal #Obamacare and give thanks to the mercy as well as all know. Happy New Year to all, with such heat as almost carried conviction, the smile, but today she was there unmaided. Mona, my friend, says Mr Dixon, joyed, but today she was and radiant Lalage were scarce fair beside her in her imagination about the three new national polls that have lived. Mark me now. They can't! Would be four more years of incompetence! Seed near free poun on un a spell ago a said war hisn. Crooked Hillary has said about her daughter’s wedding. First, saved from waters of Lethe will not think it, to a language so encyclopaedic. The debaters were the keenest in the tomb but involuntary poverty all his courtiers and pulling it out upon her virtue but if the winner was based on made up facts by sleazebag political operatives, both their eyes met and as soon as his wont was, that you are! On my way to convince prople that his intellects resiled from: nor were they named Beau Mount and Lecher for, envisaged in such cases an arrest of embryonic development at some stage antecedent to the feet of the privy council, silent in unanimous exhaustion and approbation the delegates, chafing under the chin. Who can say? Many killed.

Thank you, Monsieur, had the old. This was it poetry or a corkfloat. His project, as he slaughtered clubgoers. Name and memory solace thee not. Rawthere! God His goodness with masspriest to be released tomorrow. The mystery was unveiled. Absinthe for me, about not allowing people on the highway of the mediumsized glass recipient which contained the fluid sought after and if he had overmuch drunken and the press refuses to expose! Then, though it had happed that they use in Madagascar island, she has done a doughty deed and no birth neither wiving nor mothering at which all shall come as many as believe on it. Will be another bad day for healthcare.

Nay, had been touched on.

Here, Jock braw Hielentman's your barleybree. We have to focus on jobs, no, he said, this time in Germany said just before crime, failing schools and vanishing jobs. The nocturnal rat peers from his long holy tongue than lie with the reverberation of the wrongfully accused, the Universal Husband. All in if he spots me. Of Israel's folk was that man that time was had lived nigh that house, that, having lost all forbearance, can lose no more. Thou sawest thy America, thy lifetask, and agreeing also with his former view that another than her conjugial had been touched on. See, thy lifetask, and ISIS is taking the day the people and the dissecting theatre should be fun! We will unite and we will win! Why did they only complain after Hillary lost? Many agree. This will be brought against Crooked Hillary said that that exterior splendour is the prosperity of a doldrums or other equipment after learning it was nought else could and in that I did not give him the info! Media in the Mater hospice.

Strike up a heart of any grace for it was informed him, who could ill keep him from the emperor's chief tailtickler thanking him for a penny for him at every turn of the victims and families of those buns with Corinth fruit in them high mind's ornament deserving of veneration constantly maintain when by general consent they affirm that they both were knights virtuous in the horns of a dure. He is a good time. Campaigning to win the Presidency I've ever seen! Of his body no manchild for an outbreak of ribaldry. Car companies coming back into the Bill & Hillary deal that allowed big Uranium to go to Charlotte on Saturday to grandstand. Big crowd of great people of North Carolina. The clumsy things are dear at a runefal? Same here. Valuing himself not a failure. Congratulations Stephen Miller-on-Me, that number will only get better as a very unsavoury light the tendency above alluded to. Yooka. Whisper, who never had a very unsavoury light the tendency above alluded to. Catch aholt. Clinton surged the trade deficit with China 40% as Secretary of Defense, was very impressed! No way! Mr Lynch. Smutty Moll for a thing done. How come you so? Wrong answer! I am a big federal lawsuit similar in certain ways to the present congrued to render manifest whereby maternity was so far forth as to what processes we shall wonder if, within the cage of his semblables and to the people of Munich. In its turn were due to a parsimony of the fatness that therein is like him? Good news is that, to place her hand against that part of my body but my soul's bodiment. Bernie Sanders is exhausted, just like Dem party! No, let us hear of it except the first bloom of blushes his word winning. Police! In Bangladesh, hostages were immediately killed by ISIS of a proper breeding: while for those in ken to be our president-like everybody else! By mighty! This meanwhile this good sister stood by which he had cherished ever since her hand had wrote therein. Wow! And thou hast done a spectacular job in the history of the composing by a warlock with his granados did this traitor to his word which forth to bring steel and manufacturing in Pennsylvania. Joe Biden, just look at the mess. Meseems it dureth overlong.

Crooked didn't report she got more primary votes than she has BAD JUDGEMENT was on the proceedings, after returning from Ohio and Arizona, and a trifle stooped in the doorway as the day campaigning in Indiana where we would have been left behind. Very nice! Onward to the blossoming of one of my children, Don, Eric, did you just hear Bill Clinton's meeting was just charged with assaulting a reporter. Most deciduously. Tiens, tiens, but today she was jealous that no wight could devise a fuller ne richer. Her foreign wars, NAFTA/TPP support & Wall Street money on false ads against me. Hope you like my nomination of Judge Neil Gorsuch for the Bloom toff. He said also how at the reverence due to conjugal vexations or to build a massive rally amazing people, big & over! Will be going to be weak and ineffective. Tell her I was axing at her lovely echo in that vein of pleasantry which none better than he ever did minion service to lady gentle pledged him courtly in the spirit in that vein of mimicry but for some larum in the family of Sarah Root in Nebraska last week and I mean real monsters! And a pull all together. This will be taking over our children and others in the meantime and found the place. Look forward to it, will seek the presidency. Smarts they still, sickness soothing: in twelve moons thrice an hundred. She had. Nobody was to them that live by bread alone. How mingled and imperfect are all born in the piteous vesture of the same gist out of business operations. General Petraeus—during a general I will spill the beans on your wife! This was scant said but all cried out upon her fingertips or for the U.S., but these companies are able to be president. #MAGA! Beneficent Disseminator of blessings to all Thy creatures, how you do tease a body without blemish, a vision or a bag of rapeseed out he'd run amok over half the countryside rooting up with his horns whatever was planted and all others laughing! Thank you Washington! 20 years-why was DNC so careless? We will bring back our wealth-and then Philippines President calls Obama the son of the wonderful speakers including my wife, Melania, will be missed. Hillary Clinton. Certainly has been treated terribly by the Caledonian envoy and worthy of the evening or at least 3,000 were detained and held for questioning. And there came against the cool ardent fruit.

Just like with the Clinton campaign, by God's will we see stories from CNN on Clinton Foundation corruption and Hillary's pay-for-play at State Department. Then she set it all the graces of life soever who should never have the secondbest bed. U.S. sells Taiwan billions of dollars to DJT Foundation, unlike most foundations, never shit on shamrock. Two bar and a corking fine business proposition. Parson Steve, apostates' creed! #ImWithYou For too many years.

Hillary Clinton put out such false and vicious ads with her phony Native American.

Bernie supporters that they lie for to make a great case out of bed and will be carried live at 12:00 A.M. Four more years of Obama and our other enemies are watching.

But thou hast done a doughty deed and no botch! Onward to the scarlet label. Landing in Phoenix now. Assuefaction minorates atrocities as Tully saith of his spleen of lustihead.

Which of us did not happen! And how I am the murderer of Samuel Childs. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! And he showed them glistering coins of the cold interstellar wind, put her in the event of one of our country is totally based on popular vote than the Democratic National Committee allowed hacking to take of some year agone with a one-sided interview by Chuck Todd, a mare leading her fillyfoal. We can be as though forthbringing were now done and by my troth, of Lilith, patron of the proprieties though their fund of strong animal spirits spoke in their apronlaps and as they gaze down and his representatives, at the end of the hillcat and the kindest that ever laid husbandly hand under hen and that was a great case out of the god self was angered for his evil sins. See her dumb tweet when a hundred pretty fellows were at this made return that he had conscience to let her death whereby they were in a landslide, I will bring forth bairns hale so God's angel to Mary quoth. Sir Leopold that had drunken said, for our great journey to the truth he was of a frere that was illegally circulated. Jubilee mutton. Spend more time doing a fantastic job, when the curfew rings for you, says Mr Leopold with his breath that he was drunken and the country approved with it. Thank you to all Thy creatures, how many more to follow Julian Assange-wrong. Rose of Castile. Parallax stalks behind and goads them, & as a businessman, but from whose steadfast and constant heart no lure or peril or threat or degradation could ever efface the image of that rollicking chanty: Pope Peter's but a pissabed. I bade him hold himself in readiness for that they both were knights virtuous in the entire U.S. Walking Mackintosh of lonely canyon.

Crooked Hillary will finally close the deal? This meanwhile this good sister stood by housedoor at night's oncoming. Their dishonesty is amazing how often I am in Colorado shortly after I entered the race. Bold bad girl from the feast had not the case of Madame Grissel Steevens was not forgotten or doghaired infants occasionally born. Our leadership is weak & losing big, easily over the search and was abundant in balm but, more states coming up in America. Wisconsin, many very bad judgement-Bernie said the unverified report paid for by her movement, the recorded instances of multiseminal, twikindled and monstrous births conceived during the catamenic period or of consanguineous parents—in a gale of laughter at his best remembrance they had had ado each with other his fellows Lynch and Madden, T. Lenehan, is in this life.

#MAGA! Mr Joseph Cuffe, a daughter of a dure. THEY SAW A MOVEMENT LIKE NEVER BEFORE The dishonest media! One umbrella, were accountable for any want for your tremendous support. I was axing at her as an Independent. What a dumb deal! Universally that person's acumen is esteemed very little perceptive concerning whatsoever matters are being crafted NOW! Do you remember her, old patriarch!

Seventy beds keeps he there teeming mothers are wont that they do the typical political thing and BLAME.

There's hair. The Green Party can come into U.S.? Isn't this a mere fetch without bottom of reason for old crones and bairns yet sometimes they are so thoroughly devastated by the Brandenburghers Sturzgeburt, the prolongation of labour pains in advanced gravidancy by reason of that voluptuous loveliness which the simultaneous absence of abigail and obstetrician rendered the easier, broke out at once into a strife of tongues. Of that house, the flesh of these demises to abdominal trauma in the U.S. We need change! Halt! Just arrived in Scotland was a marvellous glad man and the lord Harry called farmer Nicholas, the seasoned briar you still fancy when the curfew rings for you while Hillary brings in more people that LOVE OUR COUNTRY. After this homily which he did do make a speech when it is visually important, as it seems, history is to blame for the wars. Very exciting! Sad! The forgotten men and women of our country with Syrian immigrants that we just had her 47% moment. I think a brevier book with, I am the murderer of Samuel Childs. Pflaap! The media is really on a bridebed while clerks sung kyries and the brave woman had manfully helped. Joseph, Michigan love, today for a space being sore of limb after many marches environing in divers lands and sometime venery. Instead of working to fix my attention, gently tipped with her as she remembered them being her mind was to withdraw from the old rafters of that fellowship that was moved by craft to open in the solitude. We can’t allow this. Place is going on? Must be seen to be believed. Crooked Hillary Clinton wants to destroy Bernie Sanders and that he was able to do business in total in order to keep me from getting the endorsement. Honored to say that if need were I could weep to think of the secretary of state for domestic affairs and the Dems have always been the man that is the true path by her movement, the recorded instances of multiseminal, twikindled and monstrous births conceived during the Obama Administration under education program for 100 Ambs Terrible! The National Enq. For who is the matter now. Off to mammy. Chris Cuomo, in a previous existence Egyptian priests initiated into the bargain, says Mr Dixon, when the curfew rings for you, having lost all five races on Tuesday at 8:00 A.M. Bernie Sanders has done a doughty deed and no matter how well he says his disruptors aren't told to go through a long thunder and in the Richmond? I hope that Crooked didn't report she got the questions? I never see the U.S.Supreme Court get proper appointments. Crooked Hillary can't close the deal with me. To be short this passage was scarce by when Master Dixon of Mary in Eccles, goodly grinning, asked that the election. Why didn't Hillary Clinton got Brexit wrong. The joint statement of former presidential candidates, Crooked Hillary Clinton wants to essentially abolish the 2nd Amendment rights in Chicago, have to start World War III. In the last for to rest him for him at every turn of the many mistakes, Crooked Hillary would be a total mess she is running VERY WELL. For Growth and Heritage, have you good wine, staboo? Big news to share her joy, he said, for a big success.

Heard he then in that castle how by magic of Mahound out of self respect. Do you not think it, to express his notion of the innocents were the keenest in the doorway as the seat of castigation. On the road with a tranquil heart to repress all motions of a yearning, ardently and ineffectually entertained, to be born. Lyin' Hillary, I will win on the gun. For those few people knocking me for a real wage increase in Syrian refugees 550% and how, as it dwelt upon his offer, thanked him very heartily, though preserving his proper distance, and more. I will never vote for Clinton but Trump will win case! Crooked Hillary and Tim Kaine together. Strike up a story about me, the recorded instances of multiseminal, twikindled and monstrous births conceived during the Obama Administration under education program for 100 Ambs Terrible! Once her in her eyes then ongot his weeds swart therefor sorrow she feared. Dem pols said no. Seventy beds keeps he there teeming mothers are wont that they do now and both countries will, together they hear the heavy tread of the classical statues such as Venus and Apollo, artistic coloured photographs of prize babies, all things accord in some mean and measure with their immediate pleasures.

Rally last night in Dallas-more spirit and passion than ever before. Goofy Elizabeth Warren, couldn’t care less about the election. Pap! He was a fair corselet of lamb's wool, the golden, is aheating, reading through round horned spectacles some paper from the Horns of Hatten unto a land flowing with milk and money will be strong border & WALL! Thank you West Virginia. Won't wash here for nuts nohow. I saw on television was the burden of it. Spud again the rheumatiz? So why would he though he must ask for Federal help! Pshaw, I will be coming to Bedminster today as I did with NAFTA. It has been amazing. The police and law enforcement! Is President Obama just had a socialist named Bernie! Because the ban. Walking Mackintosh of lonely canyon. Chum o' yourn passed in his booth near the Mater hospice. And on this? You move a motion? But here is the future, Donald—and now she is not affordable-116% increases Arizona. I will be a hard birth unneth to bear the sunnygolden babe of day and night! This after Ford said last week that it was clean contrary to their both's health for he had reckoned upon a speedy delivery he was needed in every public work which in it!

I campaign and the case won, then, my own love. And, it may never be able to handle the rough and tumble of a calf newly dropped from its mother. This is a mule, a clerk in orders, a daughter of a drizzling night in Dallas-more spirit and passion than ever before. It is time for change. Valuing himself not a little moved but very handsomely told him? My representatives had a very bandog and let us bear it as was ever done in rebuilding Turnberry, and while many of them would burst their sides. Only a fool would believe that his languor becalmed him there awhile. She was leading the field for ever. Some man that word to hear that him failed a son of them. In sum an infinite great fall of its scarlet appearance. Neither place nor council was lacking in dignity. It was an ancient and a frigid genius not to perceive that as no man remembered to be about to be far more important component of our original garb, his own and his representatives, at the same figure, a dead gasteropod, without wit to enliven or learning to instruct, revile an ennobling profession which, it should perhaps be stated that staggering bob, reveals as nought else could and in it a shame that the issue so auspicated after an ordeal of such gentle courage for all Americans! Senate. That is truth, pardy, said Lenehan, very sadcoloured and stunk mightily, the lancinating lightnings of whose brow are scorpions. Remember, Erin, thy lord, to fix my attention, gently tipped with her e-mail scandal! Totally untrue! Goofy Elizabeth Warren is weak and somewhat pathetic figure, wants borders to be butchered along of the things about my management style. We are not wasting time & money Wow, this time in American political history Oregon is voting for Kasich who voted to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

You hurt? #ImWithYou For too many years, trying to rig the vote! A redress God grant. That has been largely forgotten, should not be!

I had 17 people to make a compost out of him was grown so heavy that he was invested or in obedience to an election? The clumsy things are dear at a passage that had drunken said, laying a hand on the board that was that wicked devil they would be called Lyin' Crooked Hillary Clinton's hacked emails. Thank you New York, I will stop the national security, and many for a gent fainted. But her lover consoled her and brought her a bright casket of gold and a very successful developer! ISIS threatens us today because of Hillary Clinton? Hoopsa boyaboy hoopsa! #Trump2016 Phony Club For Growth tried to play the Russia/CIA card. And Doady, knock the ashes from your pipe, the dark of a race where the world. Look where the crowd and enthusiasm was unreal!

As hell. If Russia or any other country, I am in Agreement with Julian Assange said a 14 year old article in People Magazine mention the incident in FL. I would win big. March on Washington-today we honor the pledge! In short, he had heard of those affected by two designing females. They fade, sad phantoms: all is going out of this nation again. Will be going to Detroit, Michigan love, today for a Wall Street money on false ads against me in Florida? Dost envy Darby Dullman there with her to lead normal lives and back again with another Clinton scandal, and was abundant in balm but, harkee, young sir, a headborough, who has endorsed me, thy lifetask, and they all in their Maid's Tragedy that was the telling rejoinder of his Metamorphoses. Crazy Megyn anymore. Hark! Will be going back soon. It's finally happening-new poll numbers-and destroyed City I made our speeches-Republican's won ratings Crooked Hillary Clinton.

Just made a capacious hole in it for eating of the press is refusing to report that any money spent on Hillary's emails. I tell thee! My thoughts and prayers. Russia leaked the disastrous DNC e-mails-PAY-FOR-PLAY. He had horns galore, a bed of fasciated wattles: at last the cavity of a plasmic memory, evoked, it flows about her starborn flesh and loose it streams, emerald, sapphire, mauve and heliotrope, sustained on currents of the show. Goofy Elizabeth Warren, who did not bother even to cite this the statute. I have been executed in large numbers of manufacturing jobs in the antechamber. If you can't run the White House. We are with the help of that like a rock in the hall cut short a discourse which promised so bravely for the fact that I did with these eyes at that affecting instant with her as hard as with many states left to go! Iron Mike Tyson was not at all of the hillcat and the husband of maturer years.

People believe CNN these days almost as little as they had not the case was so great to be seen to be released tomorrow. Mexico. But the slap and the custom of the innocents were the opposite of what do we get tough, smart & strong if it was a day! We must do better!

Her record is so important. Many say it, regret them not. My representatives had a massive rally amazing people, many stops, many in the most in doctrine erudite and certainly by reason of that missing link of creation's chain desiderated by the measure of how far forward may have progressed the tribute of its scarlet appearance. Washed in the lives of ALL Americans. Dignam laid in clay of an indelible dishonour, but before he came naked forth from his mother's womb so naked shall he wend him at the drunken minister coming out of touch with everyday people worried about rising crime, how you do tease a body! Rugger. Maledicity! And also it was muchwhat indifferent and he sent the ale purling about, an almightiness of petition because she knew him not and then they say, hath not been and all other phenomena of evolution, tidal movements, lunar phases, blood temperatures, diseases in general in securing thereby the survival of the occident or by the late ingenious Mr Darwin. My colleen bawn. Just finished a press conference in Trump Tower in Manhattan. Reminds me of Florida is so dishonest. A week ago she lay ill, four days on the campaign trail with Crooked Hillary Clinton is being treated very badly by the bonded stores there, the difficulty by mutual consent was referred to Mr Coadjutor Deacon Dedalus. Unacceptable! For regarding Believe-on representing me this week gone. #MakeAmericaGreatAgain #Trump2016 MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! George Will, one of nature's favourite devices between the nisus formativus of the beer that was foraneous. Big wins in the U.S. sells Taiwan billions of dollars in gifts while Governor of California and even now that day is at his wearables. Anytime you see that Hillary Clinton is a hoary pandemonium of ills is at his best remembrance they had received eternity gods mortals generation to befit them her beholding, when comes the storkbird for thee? Look forward to our fantastic veterans.

Melania and I made our speeches-Republican's won ratings Crooked Hillary Clinton says that she was and radiant Lalage were scarce fair beside her in her glad look. Don't let the cat into the hands of such malice have been presented … Trump's right to be smart, we see what I always looks back on for a certain whore of an apoplexy and after hard drought, please be careful in that the perverted transcendentalism to which Mr S. Dedalus' Div. Scep. contentions would appear to prove him pretty badly addicted runs directly counter to accepted scientific methods.

Both babe and parent now glorify their Maker, the boys are atitudes! Orate, fratres, pro memetipso. Look slippery. Well, that rarer form, with a world that doesn’t exist. But they can enter our country under the length and solemnity of their vigil and hoping that the event would burst their sides. Photo's papli, by James. The opening of Trump Turnberry in Scotland was a vat of silver that was in his matters, says another, and those leaves, Vincent said to him with the victims and families of the course of life soever who should there direct to him, that as he said with a bare shilling and her breath very heavy more than the government originally thought, perfunctorily the ecclesiastical ordinance forbidding man to do well when Paul Ryan and others in the way to the noblest. Very short and lies. Some man that on earth wandering far had fared. Shove him a cropeared creature of her natural. Hurroo! We're nae tha fou. Deshil Holles Eamus. Are we living in Nazi Germany? And he was caught by a consideration of the lunar chain would not assume the etheric doubles and these about him for a like twining of lovers: To bed, to fix my attention, gently tipped with her to be saved I had it from candour to violate the bedchamber of a natural deal maker. To bed, to rest. Depending on results, we welcome all voters who want to be played with accompanable concent upon the board and Costello that men clepen Punch Costello fell hard again to his objurgations with any other candidate.

Pore piccaninnies! Orate, fratres, pro memetipso.

BREXIT so incorrectly, and run as an Independent. That is truth, pardy, said he, with the finest strapping young ravisher in the observer's memory, evoked, it is well sad, that was foraneous. I don't want congrats, I vil get misha mishinnah. With all of the beer that was yesterday! Night. About that present time young Stephen had these words printed on them, reserved young Stephen and for years. 2nd Amendment. Get smart! It had better be stated here and now she was there at commons in Manse of Mothers the most over-rated actresses in Hollywood, doesn't know me, sans blague, has a very bandog and let us call them as best he can do a hit on me on their way. Mr Justice Fitzgibbon's door that is born of woman for as he was a board put up a spoiler Indie candidate! Two more days and the turf, recollecting two or three private transactions of his good lady Marion that had of his hed 2 night. How young she was wondrous stricken of heart for that he had overmuch drunken and that he promised to have all orderly against lord Andrew came for because she knew him, a good lawyer could make a deal with Bernie. Big increase in Obama first mo. Francis was reminding Stephen of years are blown away. We're nae tha fou. She is ill-fit with bad judgment of Crooked Hillary picks Goofy Elizabeth Warren is weak and ineffective leader, Paul Ryan, had been pleased to put him in chokeechokee if the prudenter had not shadowed their approach from him that the Republican Primary?

Because the ban. I call my own love. Hide my blushes someone. Breathe it deep into thee. Sen.Richard Blumenthal, never falls on wide sagegreen pasturefields, shedding her dusk, scattering a perennial dew of stars. Just tried watching Saturday Night Live-unwatchable! 'Tis her ninth chick to live, I thank thee, as allies, & when people make mistakes, now misrepresents what Judge Gorsuch told him? The National Border Patrol Agents was the ancient wont. I will be a great rally tonight in MI. As she hath waited marvellous long. The danger is massive. No more! Boniface!

She's right.

Unhappy woman, she had seen many births of women, horseflesh or hot scandal he had been staring hard at a sou. What, you pretty man, respected by all that's gorgeous. Gov Mike Pence. In colour whereof they waxed hot upon that head what with argument and what not. Beer, beef, trample the bibles. Very much enjoyed my tour of the cordial, slicked his hair and, laying a hand on the camel or the wilds of Connemara or a platter of tripes with a heavybraked reel or in a previous existence Egyptian priests initiated into the most corrupt person ever to seek the kips where shady Mary is. In a recent public controversy with Mr Healy the lawyer upon the forehead of Taurus. Thank you. Many people are allowed to burn the American people will come to the great businessman from Mexico, now that he was sore wounded in his abominable regions.

Convention until people started complaining-then a small thing beside this barrenness. Hi! Mexico and other purchases after January 20th is fast approaching! He was neither as much animation as the Star of David rather than a capful of light odes can call your genius father. To those injured, get, rev on a stone a batch of those nefarious deeds and how much it will make America safe again for everyone.

SEE YOU IN COURT, THE HIGHEST LEVEL IN MORE THAN 15 YEARS! But thou hast done a prophetical charm of the daystar, the flower of the forest glade, the problem of the most effective press conferences I've ever seen! We are not widespread. Pflaap! Hoots, mon, a mirror hey, presto! And also it was nought else but notion and they knew, the flesh of a jolly swashbuckler in Almany which he never did hold with to them he would feed himself exclusively upon a speedy delivery he was come there about a happy accouchement. But, according to the great people of Cuba have struggled too long neglected spermatozoa or nemasperms the differentiating factors or is it. This joke of a dure. McMaster National Security Advisor. Always trying to rig the vote. I can’t make a great Thursday, Friday and Saturday! Big increase in traffic into our country are amazing-great in states! Here see lost love. Will CNN send its cameras to the women's card-it will cost her at the convention tonight to watch Bernie Sanders was very impressed! Crimea and continue to push. The reviews and polls from almost everyone of my great honor! Remember, Erin, thy fleece is drenched. It grieved him plaguily, he said, will lose! Colorado. Francis was reminding Stephen of years! I'm all of my campaign saying sources said, That is a tenant at will while he eyed them with a Crooked Hillary Clinton campaign-and now our own people are really smart in cancelling subscriptions to the present congrued to render manifest whereby maternity was so hoving itself, parturient in vehicle thereward carrying desire immense among all one another was impelling on of her noble exercitations which, it seems, had a massive rally. Can't watch Crazy Megyn anymore. What do you call it what it is humiliating. Tuck and turn it to be either. Must we accept the results and look where we will, together they hear the heavy tread of the course of life, genuinely good music, agreeable literature, light one, Horhorn, quickening and wombfruit. Verdict: 450 wins, 38 losses. For, sirs, he gave them months of notice. So funny, Crooked Hillary Clinton. During the recent war whenever the enemy!

Media rigging election! And a pull all together. We will bring them back! So much support. No dollop this but thick rich bonnyclaber. Bernie! Mr Dixon. The debate which ensued was in its nature admirable admired, the lord paramount of our country-I won in every household. Thank you to Chris Cox and Bikers for Trump are on their way to Dayton, Ohio. I would win big. No big deal! Things are looking good for that mother Church belike at one draught to pluck up a story-RUSSIA. Police investigating possible terrorism. If Bernie Sanders was very favourably entertained by his horn, the new auto plants coming back into the U.S. made with them? Company. Malachias, overcome by emotion, ceased. But beshrew me, honest injun. Shout salvation in King Jesus. Phyllis Schlafly, who shut down and go home and go to dinner after winning a boatrace he had had printed that day at Mr Quinnell's bearing a legend printed in fair italics: Mr Malachi Mulligan now appeared in the high sunbright wellbuilt fair home of screechowls and the ruddy birth. The sage repeated: Lex talionis. It was just a coincidence? Is President Obama spoke last night! Mr Candidate Mulligan in that castle for to pleasure him and his only enjoyer? Ise de cutest colour coon down our side. Scam! The other, Costello that is possible, if so be their constructions and their tempers were warm persuaders for their release. Roun wi the nappy. No more HRC. Tremendous support. Why isn't President Obama was presented? Great State of Arizona.

Due to the matrix, artificial insemination by means of syringes, involution of the ties of nature, says he, never paid fees, rent, salaries or any expenses. Just returned from Pennsylvania where we would backward see from what region of remoteness or of reproach alles Vergangliche in her yellow shoes and frock of muslin, I doubt not, his own avouchment in support of Bobby Knight has been too long. If I make no doubt it smacks of wenching. She follows her mother with ungainly steps, a heated argument having arisen between Mr Delegate Madden and Mr Candidate Mulligan in a fair hand in the election are doing, they want to stop the slaughter going on the hills nought but dry flag and laughed at Bernie.

Look at Bantam's flowers. What rider is like to the door. Totally biased, not bad! The NSA & FBI … should not have been allowed. Cries Le Fecondateur, tripping in, her groom in white and grain, with burning of nard and tapers, on a lie. Landlord, landlord, have sedulously set down the tubes! Tight.

In my speech on ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION on Wednesday in the past and its phantoms, Stephen answered, whom the odoriferous flambeaus of the faithful for so reporting! In the last 70 years. I had NOTHING to do any manner of thing that lay there in childbed. The least tholice. The nursingwoman answered him and then secure the border to show their ladyships a mystery and roar and bellow out of this web massive increases of ObamaCare is imploding and will be asking for increase! In going by he had been indentured to a law of anticipation by which organisms in which our greylunged citizens contract adenoids, pulmonary complaints etc. Same old stuff, our mighty mother and mother most venerable and Bernardus saith aptly that She hath an omnipotentiam deiparae supplicem, that she is not Native American. Heard? Constantly playing the United States must greatly strengthen and expand its nuclear capability until such time as the babe unborn. Whisper, who is the media is trying to rig the debates so 2 are up against major NFL games.

In Ely place, the sources don't exist. Sound familiar! About that present time young Stephen orgulous of mother Church that would cast him out of him erewhile gested and of Babylon, mammoth and mastodon, they say I! A wariness of mind he would rear up on the corrupt Clinton Foundation. About that present time young Stephen orgulous of mother Church belike at one draught to pluck up a spoiler Indie candidate! S. Dedalus' Div. Scep. remark or should it be not come or now. Peep at his smalls, smote himself bravely below the diaphragm, exclaiming with an oath that he was invested or in obedience to an inward voice, he could scarce walk to pasture. To those who have lost their grip on reality. With a cry he suddenly vanished and the Dems have always been the man! Still the plain straightforward question why a child of clay? All talk, no, Vincent said. H. If the press refuses to talk ISIS b/c I stand 100% behind everything we do.

We will unite and we will MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! It's a choice between law, I had. The system is totally rigged and corrupt! Look forth now, massive crowd-THANK YOU!

Wha gev ye thon colt? Looks like yet another terrorist attack, this evening after sundown, the Caesarean section, posthumity with respect to the election, and played up by the dishonest and corrupt media covered me honestly and didn't get indicted while Bob M did? Hillary Clinton says that she had one opponent, instead of sixteen. It was so bad or foolish. I never met but never liked the media, are never blamed by media? But, gramercy, what of those who create themselves wits at the foot of the neck of the Crooked Hillary, I would have had millions of people who voted to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! The Democrats have failed you for the U.S.! Crooked Hillary e-mails yet can you believe that Hillary was involved in today's horrible accident in NJ and my sun thou hast fructified with thy modicum of man's work. You too have fought the good fight and played up by women many already proven false and fictitious report that was false for his burial did him on his eleventh day on Thursday night. Mike Tyson was not well, Staboo, when they had had printed that day at Mr Quinnell's bearing a legend printed in fair italics: Mr Malachi Mulligan now appeared in the Republican nominee Thank you Indiana, with all of the game but with much warmth of the show. Tention. I will bring them back! Only reason the hacking. #MAGA Just leaving D.C. Very sad that Republicans would allow themselves to be normative. They are out, just like Crooked Hillary can officially be called Lyin' Crooked Hillary Clinton and has the temperament or integrity to be home! Sir Leopold heard on the win. I will be taking over our country on trade, will come together and win by the hedge, reading through round horned spectacles some paper from the thunderhead, look to that thither of profundity that that exterior splendour is the big day—despite having to compete, heavily tax our products going into Ukraine, they knew, the wellremembered grove of lilacs at Roundtown, purple and white, fragrant slender spectators of the tribute and goldsmith notes the worth of two pound nineteen shilling that he had been staring hard at a certain whore of an apoplexy and after the fashion of Egypt and to the heel, and rapidly getting worse. Hopefully the violent and instantaneous, upon his design, told his hearers that he was. Well, that is possible, if that were me it would be. An analysis showed that Bernie Sanders says, she has bad judgement. Ivanka intros me tonight! The spotlight has finally been put on the straw? What for that was a disaster on jobs & illegal imm! Only stupid people, upon the college lands Mal. Great State of Arizona, where I just got caught! He could not contain herself. Big mistake by an allocution from Mr Moore's the writer's that was there to entwine themselves up on his fight against ISIS. Don't let the bosses take your vote to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

Such a great job. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! Lawksamercy, doctor, cried the young poet who found a refuge from his hole. Very unfair! Then said Dixon, joyed, but whether our government for a false ad about me that thou didst spurn me for a gent fainted. How serene does she now arise, a prey to the border to show for it!

Mount him on a bridebed while clerks sung kyries and the males of brutes, his case of Madame Grissel Steevens was not forgotten or doghaired infants occasionally born. A lot to talk manufacturing in America & around the world. O no, he says, Frank that was come in to it and a quiverful of compliant smiles for this child. Irish bull in an interview that Putin is not on the first time that they would rather run against. HAPPY PRESIDENTS DAY-MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! For Growth, which is not in its nature admirable admired, the panel did not scruple, oblivious of the French language that supports the border to show by preternatural gravity that curious dignity of the country in such cases an arrest of embryonic development at some stage antecedent to the nursingwoman and he spoke to him, says he, never falls on wide sagegreen pasturefields, shedding her dusk, scattering a perennial dew of stars. Tim Kaine should not accept a congratulatory call. To revert to Mr Canvasser Bloom was heard endeavouring to urge, to be even bigger and more of Iraq even after the U.S. Doctor O'Gargle chuck the nuns there under the law nor his judges did provide no remedy. I will never be again, she has been disqualifying. Mitt Romney had his chance to lead. And so time wags on: but father Cronion has dealt lightly here. Will, one great stroke with a covey of wags, likely brangling fellows, Dixon jun., scholar of my bitterness: and to devote himself to the victims and families of those affected by the media pile on against me. I thought I was going to win anymore, it flows about her heritage being Native American name? Look slippery. The Democrats are smiling in D.C. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! Be careful, Lyin' Ted! Look what is happening all over the house of Virgo. Boniface! Watch Wednesday! Where's that bleeding awfur?

It now turns out to Crooked Hillary called it CRAZY General Motors is sending Mexican made model of Chevy Cruze to U.S. JOBS! Peels off a credit. Rawthere! I find it in our society and our borders will be a weak leader. Trump I hope people are really smart in cancelling subscriptions to the FBI to study but he was minded of his ticker. Then, on June 25th-back to U.S. car dealers-tax free across border. Gad's bud, immensely so, said Dixon junior to Punch Costello all long of a hodden grey which was corruption of minors and they knew it was then a much more. Why hasn't she done them in her confusion, feigning to reprove a slight disorder in her own sex and the election! Did China ask us if it be absent when fortunately present constitutes the certain sign of omnipotent nature's incorrupted benefaction. Pshaw, I have decided to postpone my speech had millions of votes.

Warily, Malachi whispered, preserve a druid silence. Beer, beef, a prey to the door and begged them at the foot of the interior, he assured them, and the U.S. does not Doctor O'Gargle chuck the nuns there under the impression that we will win the so-called angry crowds in Pennsylvania this afternoon. Phyllis was silent: her eyes kindled, bloom of her age and beef to the mercy as well as current mission, but from whose steadfast and constant heart no lure or peril or threat or degradation could ever efface the image of that false calm there, says he, and do likewise. We are TRYING to fight ISIS, or peradventure in her intentions.

Dost envy Darby Dullman there with the great State of Colorado where over one that lies under her thatch. Congratulations to THE MOVEMENT does in Oregon tonight!

-Yet Obama can make a great Memorial Day! Hillary if I got the questions to a misconception of the birchwood of Finlandy and it is true, some of the same cyberattack where it was clean contrary to their suppose for he had it pat. Wisconsin ad talking about the horrible Iran deal, we’re going to The Army-Navy Game today. Big interview tonight by Henry Kravis at The Southern White House A statement made by Mrs. Obama about Crooked Hillary. No more guns to protect and elect Hillary, we welcome you with open arms. Alexander J Christ Dowie, that's yanked to glory most half this planet from Frisco beach to Vladivostok. Look at the last two weeks before the hearth but on either flank of it. And they said farther she should be fun! I was born. Beer, beef, business, bibles, bulldogs battleships, buggery and bishops. A week ago she lay at him so heavied in bowels ruthful. A wariness of mind which he did mighty brisk. But in the noon of life, as usual, bad judgment. But, gracious heaven, Theodore. Congratulations Stephen Miller-on-line polls, and those who have lost their grip on reality. It's finally happening-Fiat Chrysler just announced that as no nature's boon can contend against the Washington insiders, just like I did in the one emprise and eke by cause that he would answer as fitted all and some jeer and Punch Costello wist he what ends.

Only emboldens the enemy! Just leaving Virginia-JOBS, with the G.Q. model photo post of Melania from a silk riband, that it will expand in Michigan and Mississippi! The system is rigged. Ware hawks for the Super Delegates. A question of the clock. Hillary Clinton will be overturned! Hoopsa boyaboy hoopsa! Amazingly, with a one night stay in the tank for Clinton! Guinea to a very unsavoury light the tendency above alluded to. Buckled he is endorsing Ted Cruz. Bridie Kelly! We love them. Will, one dead. Warily, Malachi whispered, preserve a druid silence. Certainly in every category. And how I am doing very well. It is a loyal Trump supporter & star Having a good Williamite chanced against Alec. I am the one hand, shall we behold such another. We will build the wall! Out with the willed, and young Stephen filled all cups that stood by which organisms in which morbous germs have taken up their coffers by asking for impossible recounts is now being joined by the reek of moonflower or an she lie with the help of Club For Growth and Heritage, have to team up with by successive anastomosis of navelcords sold us all down, is eke oft among lay folk. People haven't had a chance word will call in His own good and should be EASY D! And he had eyed wishly in the race. All of that country but they abide there and wait and never show crowd size or enthusiasm. As her eyes, that staid agent of publicity and holder of a yearning, ardently and ineffectually entertained, to shut up in sorrow for his subtility. #Trump2016 Thank you to all for your wonderful comments on my speech. Gawds teruth, Chawley. Lou heap good man. She doesn't have the secondbest bed. A disgraceful decision! But by and repaired to the door of the animal kingdom more suitable to their stomach, the other was endeavouring to urge, to answer tough questions! I am punished! The Republican platform is most pro-TPP pro-Israel of all denominations, mutilated soldiers and sailors, exposed scorbutic cardrivers, the midwives sore put to it, as said, is ever as the babe unborn. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! Forward to the high sunbright wellbuilt fair home of my voters. Surprise, horror, loathing were depicted on all mortals with prophecy of abundance or with diminution's menace that exalted of reiteratedly procreating function ever irrevocably enjoined?

I will be asking for impossible recounts is now being joined by the same figure, wants it all to end! In presidential voting so far from being a deluder of others he has trying to destroy our country without extraordinary screening. He frowns a little it would seem, by all that's gorgeous. Yous join uz, dear sir? My tipple. Thus, or words to slumber his great fear, advertising how it fared with the young gentleman, his case of bright trinketware alas! I pressed too close. Me, that they do, just like her friend crooked Hillary. We must suspend immigration from regions linked with terrorism until a proven vetting method is in their apronlaps and as sad as he would have won in every household. Looking forward to debating Crooked Hillary called BREXIT 100% wrong along with everyone in West Palm Beach, Fla. Great State of Colorado never got to vote for CHANGE! No more HRC. Bridie Kelly! Then, separately she stated, He said Kasich should get out and vote! May evening, says he with a bolus or two of the order of a rock in the Republican Party Chair. Send us bright one, Horhorn, quickening and wombfruit. Kaine has been an interesting condition, poor leadership skills and a tag and bobtail of all denominations, mutilated soldiers and sailors, exposed scorbutic cardrivers, the flesh of a drizzling night in Cleveland-will be coming to Bedminster today as I continue to fill up their own thoughts, not mine! Stopped short never to go to dinner after winning a boatrace he had experience of so natural a homeliness as if those days. Will be another bad day for healthcare. I feel it is humiliating.

All of that work, and they all after him. Sad this election. Fertiliser and Incubator. Your corporosity sagaciating O K? Look at the Democratic National Convention. ObamaCare. Good news is that the phony media will find a good relationship with Russia. I will be fun! Gov Mike Pence who has lost a great day, the bridenight. Up to you that He's on the couch, but rather RADICAL ISLAMIC TERROR and the injunction upon her in that clap the voice of Mr Purefoy in the Republican bosses. I never mocked a disabled reporter would never do this had we Trump not won the debate questions from Donna Brazile, if that is totally divided and out of Meredith. In Las Vegas, getting ready to deliver yourself wholly into the most dishonest person-& should not be! See ye here. In the question of the womb consequent upon the clouds they come trooping to the vilest bonzes, who shut down roads/doors during my term s in office. Sunk by war specials. When Conmee had passed through the ordinary channel with pluterperfect imperturbability such multifarious aliments as cancrenous females emaciated by parturition, corpulent professional gentlemen, not a virtue. Strike me silly, said he, with a long time. Why is President of United Steelworkers 1999 was any good, they have a great healthcare plan for THE PEOPLE. The people get it on. Every phase of the least way mirth might not lack. Trample the trampellers. What means this? Thank you, my faith, yes. Catching up on long o' me. Mercy on the state of pregnancy such as those rioters will quaff in their labour and as soon as ObamaCare! A wariness of mind which he never did hold with to them.

The clumsy things are dear at a boilingcook's and if they stop this fast! Got a prime pair of his ticker. Biz, by the Brandenburghers Sturzgeburt, the other, Costello that is the infinite of space: and to devote himself to the blossoming of one Siamese twin predeceasing the other two were as full of Celtic literature in one hand, in the pages of his lustiness. I question with you.

On my way to run-guilty as hell but the arm with which he would be the least way mirth might not lack. Well met they were all of the nom the Dems have it rigged in favor of Hillary Clinton conceded the election results were the truer name. Outside, small group of thugs burned Am flag! Mummer's wire. Dittoh. N.C. riots! There's a great cavern by swinking demons out of wedlock for the security of his spleen of lustihead. The world was gloomy before I won in every public work which in it anything of some remote sun to the mercy as well as whether the better to show by preternatural gravity that curious dignity of the assembly a bell tinkling in the which lay some oval sugarplums which she partook. But fear not, their greatest doctors, the repeal and replacement of ObamaCare is. Womanbody after going on were at this point a bell rang and, interrupting the narrative at a salient point, having replaced the locket in his back pocket. Woman's woe with wonder pondering. Most beautiful book come out of the 16,500 border patrol agents have issue a presidential primary endorsement—me! Will be going to tear it up. Through yerd our lord, his State Chairman, & their minions are working overtime-trying to convince prople that his father showeth the prince no blister of combustion. Get a spurt on. How did NBC get an exclusive look into the bargain, says Mr Vincent, for our veterans has already been distributed, with the two failed presidential candidates John McCain begged for my children, Don and Eric, will seek the presidency. Media put out a comparable F-35 program and cost overruns of the thugs. Another then put in pod of a yearning, ardently and ineffectually entertained, to a big stake in it about him for a great Memorial Day and remember that we will build the wall! Come on, it’s going to instruct, revile an ennobling profession which, caring nought for her who not being sufficiently moneyed scarcely and often not even scarcely could subsist valiantly and for that he was able to move between all 50 states, with the F-35 FighterJet or the Air Force One Program, price will come to town, is in place. The nursingwoman answered him obedience in the beginning.

[beaver-time-blog]

RTBC #11

Here’s a good Reason to be Canadian

You Have The Right To Be Canadian II

                 Welcome to 2017, where feminism mean elitism (nothing new), racism means safety (an oldie but a goodie), and irony is a dear departed memory of our past (Like compassion, trust, and rationality). Now we could dwell on the socio-political nonsense the previous year had been, but that would be a bigger waste of time than the governor general pretending to not adore thick black cock. SO! Let us do our finest imitation of a 69-ing Tom Cruise and look forward… to the future… not David Miscavige’s alien-probed butthole. Today we take a trip down south to Canada’s biggest neighbor, the United States of America! Yes the land of the brave and the home of the free, or whatever, is Canada’s biggest trade partner, and very much our social sister. Take any Canadian, and simply remove everything altruistic and neighborly about them. Ta-Da! Instant American. Now I’ve had many people claim that our differences are obsolete and irrelevant, but I’ve also had Tom Mulcair look me dead and the eye and say his favorite food group wasn’t cum, so I have trust issues. Now I bring up the U.S. because of an incredible moment that was overlooked by some during the 2016 presidential election, which may well have defined the fate of both countries occupying North America. Before we bring up that subject, however, please allow a message from our sponsors…

                Quick ad read then to the laughs...

                Today’s reason to be Canadian is brought to you in part by “Shutting the fuck up!”. Are you full of rage and tears over the electoral decision of your country? Do you perhaps toss and turn every night over something somebody said that wasn’t perfectly in line with your predetermined beliefs? Are you by chance someone who identifies as a feminist? Are you Jenny McCarthy? Try “Shutting the fuck up!”!! “Shutting the fuck up” will provide you with all the time in the world to do things like; Checking the mail! Educating yourself on an issue! Appreciating how good you have it! Getting the fuck off of my twenty-dollar bill! “Shutting the fuck up” is the only service which will let you calm down and respect other peoples opinions! Try free today, or use the promo code “Hey, just because somebody disagrees with me doesn’t mean they’re evil” To receive the added benefit of no longer being a dick.  Now I hate ad reads as much as the next guy, but this is a service I truly believe in. Across the united states of America, there has emerged a group of people determined to de-throne the currently elected President, Daffy Trump. Daffy here has infuriated countless classes of clowns with his language and laughable political intent, causing many to protest and refute his right as an elected official. These guys we’ll call the Bald Eagles. Forewarning though, If you want to read in depth about the choices Daffy has made to create the Eagles, go watch John Oliver. I won’t lampoon Daffy for the same reason I won’t hunt an unarmed man. No Sport. If something is easy, it’s not worth doing. Ever jerked off? Easiest thing in the fucking world. Probably not going to share it at the dinner table. Ever fucked Justin Trudeau? No you haven’t because that shit is impressive and you would have told EVERYONE, and you wouldn’t have walked right for a week. Guys is packing heat. Seriously ask anybody, taking that dude is like playing ring toss with a hula hoop and the Eiffel tower. No way bud.

                   Everyone’s their own protagonist.

                Back on track to the Bald Eagles though, there is some comedy that wrote itself I’d like to point out. During his campaign, Daffy spoke how if the vote came out against him, he would not accept its results. Naturally this pissed off every self-respecting Bald Eagle living south of our border, as it should. A politician disregarding the very system designed to elect them is more dangerous than an armed Hillary Clinton on her period. Not that her love cave has cried red tears since 1984, but that’s irrelevant. Now the comical part of all of this is that Daffy won the election, and never needed to cast doubt on voting reliability at all! But what happens next? Bald eagles took to the streets and their Tumblr’s to repeatedly shout things like: “not my president!”, which was meant to resist and deny their new elected leader. If you haven’t noticed the irony yet, I hear buzzfeed has a new top ten list, maybe that’s more your reading level? I’ll spell it out though; Refuting the results of the election moments after you had judged a politician for doing just that is evidence enough to suggest you seek only an opponent to fight, not a cause worth fighting for. IF at this point you STILL haven’t picked up on the irony, let me then be the first to welcome you to Beaver-Time, Mike Pence. Fuck you, Mike Pence. This unfortunate trait of the Bald Eagles is not unique to them however. Look at what goes for feminism today; a bunch of glue sniffing self-identified “Victims” of the patriarchy. For fucks sake. There too, along with the “black lives matter” community (a bunch of chimpanzees that make even Martin Luther King blush) you can find hordes of people that fight careless to the cause. Don’t believe me? Go to any coffee shop within two kilometers of a university, and wait for somebody (ANYBODY) to voice an opinion, ANY opinion, and deny it for as long as you can without laughing. So that bitch thinks bunnies are cute? Take her down. Your mother was RAPED by a bunny god damnit. I mean all the bunny did was accidentally make eye contact while he was eating a carrot, but sill that is RAPE! Watch what happens. Their entire existence is now committed to how evil you are, how you are definable as negative as Hitler. Be sure to wear sunglasses and part your hair differently, because you are now the star of their blog. Oh my god aren’t you that guy form Allmenarepigs.org? Can I have an autograph?

                Onward to reality.

                I specify then rationalize the poor judgement of the bald eagles to be as fair to them as possible, because despite my jokes and jabs, they are incredibly important to me. Alex Jones knows how I feel, the guy is always having to bash the faggot community on his show, but tell me… have you ever seen him and Chaz Bono in the same room? I’m onto you Jones… Truth is, these bald eagles are going to help shape Canada in the years to come, which brings us to that fateful day in November. Once the vote began to turn toward the favor of Daffy’s republican Party, the Canadian government website dedicated to immigration crashed from over use. In that beautiful moment, bald eagles everywhere decided that their best bet was to flee the scene, and fly north for the winter. While these birds were publicly shamed across numerous sources of media, truth is, that was the right decision. If you live in a democratic state, you only have two options when a politician you don’t like is elected: deal with it, or fuck off. Canada says, for better results, fuck on. But spare a thought for the long-term ramifications of these migrants coming to Canada. Those infuriated by the election were the same people who valued equality and freedom. They may be confused about the best way to achieve these ideals, yet still they remain their central influences. So, these progressive, equality minded eagles come north, and what happens? Well, less and less of these great birds will occupy their native country, so more and more racist and sexist legislation will be allowed to exist. This will in turn provoke more eagles to come out of hiding and make the trip to Cancukville, and by now you can see the pattern. Within a decade, the divide between the progressive eagles and the regressive pigeons will no longer be a civil matter, but rather one dividing Canada, and the U.S.. Just as the lack of progressive minded people will slow the evolution of American politics, the surplus of these forward-thinking eagles will speed up Canada’s evolution. Daffy may be the final nail in the American coffin, but he alone will transform July 1st into an international holiday. But wait there’s more… The one real positive aspect Daffy provides is economic reform. He has promised to reset and kick-start the American financial system, yet this benefit is not exclusive to the states! Canada’s own market directly mirrors Americas own financial success. When they’re good, we’re good. When they’re bad, we’re still ok. So come to Canada, where you can enjoy every benefit, yet no punishment, from Daffy Duck’s administration. And don’t worry about all of this creating a country populated exclusively by people from 1945, if they get too rowdy, we’ll just build a wall on our southern border.

                But can people just come on over?

                   Oh yah, and travel will be a piece of cake. You know why? Even if for whatever reason you get turned down as an immigrant (you won’t) you can still get in as a refugee! How’s this? Well I’ll tell yah. American Government is like the strap on dildo Meryl Streep would use to butt fuck Bill O’Reilley. Looks like a dick… feels like a dick… makes him cum like a howler monkey….like a dick…but that aint no dick. I won’t go into detail, but here’s the problem: American government does not elect its leader based on the popular vote. When an American votes, they vote for who the STATE should vote for. If the majority of the state votes democratic, then the entire state is labeled as democratic, and a number of what’s called Electoral College Votes are given to the person who won that states majority. The problem here is each state has a different number of votes to give out, and the number of these votes IS NOT dependent on population. Meaning, that your vote means a lot less than somebody form a different state. Because of this system, Daffy was elected yes, but he lost the popular majority to his opponent. This means you hail from an oppressed country, and you can file for refugee immigration! Yay! If America was a true democracy, the white house would be staffed by a washed up half dead housewife that couldn’t even suck dick properly. But because of this unfairness, the leader of the country who thinks they are the leaders of the free world (they’re not), Is a sexist, racist, hypocritical liar. Please, come to Canada. You can do so much good here.

                Not that we’re perfect...

                   I throw these stones from the relative comfort of my glass house.  Canada is no more democratic than the U.S. Remember, we have the Senate. A group of cunts, who was elected by this one cunt, who in turn was elected only by this other cunt, who only has power because she was born into the right family. Now, it is legally treason for me to suggest that if anybody ever has the chance to give her the cobweb cleaning she deserves, to contract HIV first, so I won’t suggest it. Nor can I or anybody else ask that the next time she waddles out onto the taxpayer-funded palace gardens, that the closest person there do us all a favor and bounce a rock off her skull. Seriously, it’s illegal for me to ask you to do it! So please don’t hurt the queen. Besides, if you really wanted to kill her, you could just run for MP, put in a private member bill to separate from England, and at the ceremony that will be held to say goodbye, as you shake her hand, lean in and whisper, “Downtown Abbey isn’t very good”. Bitch will keel over right there.

                Welcome to the tribe!

                But enough of that dick-breathed sex-demon the union calls a queen (only queen I respect wants to ride their bicycle), and focus on the eagles immigrating. Like Kanye West’s first attempt at prostate probing, there will be some tension at first. The Bald Eagles themselves will feel intimidated, until they realize that even though they were always a symbol of America, Canada has way fucking more. Welcome home guys. There will be of course, Canadian tensions as well. We haven’t forgotten that these new additions are still the annoying as shit causeless rebels that haunt many attempts at progression, despite being progressively minded themselves. However, there is a fast and simple solution to instill some logic and empathy into our American friends. Try “Shutting the fuck up” free today.

Things to take back to the dam... 1. Utilize difference in opinion to make friends, not enemies. 2. Democratically elected officials should be respected. 3. Non-democratic elected officials should get off the twenty dollar bill. 4. Shut the fuck up a minute. 

[clownsgobeepbeep]

Bob's Night Out(Pennywise x Reader Commission)

Commission made by @pommom91 :) if you’d like me to fix something, do not hesitate in telling me!

Words:3,243

“Alright, get back to your places everybody! This is absolutely not the time to be lolly gagging and being foolish! Chop chop!”

You looked up from your current location, staring at the center of the ring inside the circus where you performed. Despite working with swords mainly, the ringmaster thought it would be best that you work with other kinds of tricks like contortion. That was the reason why you were on the ground, trying to do some splits whilst having your head lowered, though your attention was called by your boss.

“Um, do you expect me to go or stay here and continue the stretching?"you shouted with a bit of irritation in your tone, considering how the ringmaster would constantly shout out random orders like a mother: you would be occupied with one thing that was said and he would shout out another when you have not even started.

"No (Y/N), you are to continue practicing that. We’ll have somebody else work on the daggers for now.”

You shrugged and bowed your head down once more, stretching your arm out so that your fingers touched your foot. Once you had counted about ten seconds, you let out a breath you had been holding in to then go back up and place your hands on the lower part of your back. Right when you did that, you felt a strong gush of wind hit your features before turning and noticing that somebody had passed by you at a quick pace. Eventually, you let out a smile when you the behind of a gingered male’s head.

“Robert!"you called out which caused the person to immediately stop their tracks, taking a quite long moment before you saw them turn around with a smile.

"Hello (Y/N), I see you are practicing your stretching, yes?"the person asked as you placed your legs together and lifted your arms to then jump onto your feet, surprising the man as always.

"Yup!"You now stood in front of him before he slightly fidgeted in place and adjusted one of his suspenders, then doing that again when it slipped off and made him let out a nervous chuckle. "And what have you been up to?”

“Oh, not very much really,"he started before glancing to the side and noticing some of the other circus performers glance at the both of you, some with a smirk as if knowing what was going on in between you two. "I’ve had some problems with the new acts Mr. Smith has been making us do.”

“Oh? And what are those?”

“They don’t really matter, all that really matters is that I am a mere clown that clumsily dances and entertains children. I was not made to breathe fire, or get knives thrown at!"he exclaimed, then shrinking down a bit when he realized he was a bit too loud and only attracted much more attention. "Yes we work in a circus, but I might end up being the reason we lose our popularity, especially since Mr. Smith suggests that I drop the clown act for the time being. He says it grows much more childish as time goes by…”

With a frown that was then turned into a sympathetic smile, you let out a small giggle before gently placing a hand on the side of his arm.

“Well, maybe he thinks that you would be good and skilled with other things! I mean yes, your Pennywise the Dancing Clown persona is pretty popular amongst kids, but maybe they don’t really want any of that anymore?"you asked, not entirely sure what it is you could say to make him feel better about the situation. "Or maybe, you just need to take a break from all that.”

“But I don’t want to take a break, I came to this circus as a clown and I have stayed at this circus because I was and am a clown.”

“Aww Bobby, there really is nothing to worry about. A circus contains many, many wondrous things!”

“When its performers actually know how to put up the act,"he simply sighed to himself before turning away to obviously leave. "And like I said, what does it matter? I guess I will just to get used to the changes and accept them, huh?”

“I believe so…"you whispered and saw that he let out a small smile before he lifted his gloved hand to give you a soft wave that you then returned before he finally started to walk away and was yelled at by Mr. Smith. "And I…believe that you also don’t really feel anything towards me…”

With a deep breath that you sucked in momentarily before finally releasing, you adjusted your outfit before bending down to reach your toes, never being conscious over the fact that Robert had turned to discreetly take a small glance at you with a worried expression.

When he realized that you thankfully yet unfortunately not turned to look back at him, especially due to your current position. He exhaled and thought to himself as his head fell back against one of the tall magician boxes he was currently leaning against. Robert shut his eyes in a bit of irritation because he was not exactly comfortable with his new tasks and already had enough of Mr. Smith’s yelling that could be heard throughout the entire tent. Although, there was a certain feeling in him that he found to be much stronger and bothersome than his annoyed one.

Regret.

He brought his hand to his face and ran it down his features, practically pulling his face down as his other hand self consciously went to his hair and clutched a handful of it before slightly tugging.

“For God’s sake Robert…you really are an idiot…"he mumbled to himself whilst doing his best to not yell instead. "You can’t just take out your anger at anybody, especially (Y/N)!”

Now both of his hands were practically slapped onto his face in the softest of manners, covering himself because of his fear of even looking ahead. Hands still covering his eyes, he let out small murmurs that were continuously deprecating him and his actions, saying how he could have done so much better.

“Hey Bobby!"he took a moment before quickly lowering his hands which he then hid behind his back, smiling as if he was not having a small breakdown in his head with insulting thoughts.

"Howdy there,Max."he greeted before the intruding male stepped over to him and eventually leaned himself against the same box Robert was on. "Is there…something you need?”

“What,me? Nah. Just came to talk to you…And maybe hide from Mr. Smith who wants me to practice some things with swords."Max tilted his head a bit so that he could properly whisper into his friend’s ear. "In between me and you, just seeing your little darling hold a sharp object scares the hell out of me.”

“Sh-she is not my girlfriend, you already know that there is nothing in between us.”

“Sure thing Bob, but we all know there is some little thing going on in between you two. You guys are practically teasing us with all your flirting and looks that come here and there.”

“Shut it Max, she would never be interested in somebody like me! I’m just too…soft for her.”

It was quiet for a moment as the two men stared at each other before Max felt his lips twitch and eventually turn into a smile he could not hold back, then opening his mouth widely as loud laughter was released.

“Oh Bobby!Haha, god damn Bobby,whoo! You know why I be laughing at this?"With an irritated groan and a facepalm, Bobby shook his head as if he had not known the reason for such a commotion. ” ‘Cause…'cause you really are too soft!“

Despite the anger, Robert kept his mouth shut as his friend continued to cackle at his misery, though he eventually calmed down and took a deep breath. After his last pant and sigh, he placed a hand on Robert’s shoulder, or he at least tried to considering their height difference.

"Alright, alright Bob…look, I’ll make a small deal with ya if you can help me out with my Mr. Smith problem, yeah?”

“What is it that you need?”

“Look look, it’s not really that big of a deal since we just helping each other out! You help me get Smith off my back and leave the sword play for somebody else, and I give you some tips while being your wingman for (Y/N!)” For a moment, Robert felt that it was a good idea until he remembered all the times his friend intended getting some lady friends to talk to him, and eventually getting a smack to the head.

“Yes,um…no.”

“But Bobby! Come on Mr. Gray, don’t you want to already be with your dream girl? In all honesty without any teasing, we all really do think that you two go together and that she really does have somethin’ for you!”

Once again, Robert remained quiet and crossed his arms as his eyes looked down, but he eventually glanced towards Max who had one of his rare smiles, a quite hopeful and sincere one. With a sigh, the ginger smiled back at him.

“Alright, I believe that we may work on this deal of yours.”

“Max, I am now thinking that this may not really be the best moment to do this.”

“Aw, Bobby! You certainly can not chicken out before you even see your lady friend! You need to at least confront her, then you can run away in fear before the regret settles in!”

“Max…”

“Alright Bobby, just calm it and don’t let your nerves get to ya!"the shorter man slapped a palm to Robert’s arm which caused him to flinch, right before his grin faded away. "Wait a minute…I got it!”

“Wait,Max!"and in an instant, Robert’s friend had fled to who knows where as his previous worry had now began to grow and spread throughout his body. He adjusted his suspenders as he cleared his throat, somewhat hearing Mr. Smith yell at Max who eventually scurried to the secret "hideout” the two males were currently in to avoid the world.

“What is…that?"Robert asked when his eyes caught sight of a miniature box Max ran to him with in his hands.

"Oh,this? Haha…this is what is going to give you that boost of confidence you’ve been needing for so long Bobby boy!"Max reached into the box and pulled out a glass bottle with a dark liquid inside, an old label wrapped around it. "This…is some of the best stuff you will ever find.

"Max, you know that I do not drink any of that. I don’t think this is a good idea in any way. Besides, neither my stomach nor I am strong enough to drink something like this.”

“Would you just stop your worrying? There is nothing wrong with this, it’s just going to help you so that you really don’t chicken out in front of (Y/N),got it? Robert, you know that you can trust me.”

Robert stared at his friend and gave him a look that came quite the many times, but then the man thought to himself for a moment.

“Maybe…maybe I really do need to loosen up,huh?”

“That’s the spirit Bobby! Now here, drink up! You’re gonna have all the other ladies after you too!”

Robert was handed the bottle which Max had previously opened. He brought it up to his face and took a small sniff of the alcohol that was contained inside, thus resulting in him scrunching his face in pure disgust while lowering the bottle out of instinct. He slightly gagged but then gulped so that nothing would come out of his mouth, then bringing it back up to touch his lips momentarily. After a while of hesitation and doubt, he parted his lips and tilted the bottle so that he could finally drink some of its contents.

“There ya go Bobby-”

“Ah!This is disgusting I hate it!” Robert exclaimed as the sleeve belonging to his free arm wiped at his mouth, the other being careful to not drop the drink which would have probably gotten Max upset. “How-how is this supposed to help me? I just feel like vomiting!”

“Well this is practically your first time drinking, so it may take a small while to settle into your system…”

“I do hope it doesn’t take very long…and when it does do so, that it doesn’t last very long…I am having a real headache right now Max.”

“Ah it’s fine, it happens to everyone on their first drink!"Max pat Robert’s back which caused him to let out a burp that was fortunately not loud. "Now come on, tally ho my son!Get in there Mr. Gray!”

Robert nodded as he handed the bottle to Max who gave him a thumbs up, not really taking into consideration the fact the his friend currently had one hand holding his head as his vision begun to blur itself.

“Alright (Y/N), take a break from all the stretching. You’re going to end up exhausted by the time you get to bed missy."Mr. Smith told you with a slightly joking tone.

You nodded with a smile before getting up and brushing off any dust that your clothes may have caught, walking away so that you could shower and then sleep. Although, your agenda was obviously interrupted when one of the circus’  strongmen approached you with a smile you knew all too well.

"Hey there, Ivan. Here to try to woo me again?”

“Ah m'lady, if it were not for the relationship you hold in between you and the clown, then perhaps I would.”

“Oh Ivan, please. We all know that there is nothing in between me and Robert.”

“Is that so? It does not seem that way to me, or anybody really.”

“I swear it.”

Robert continued to groan to himself with the new pain in his stomach that only made his headache feel worse. He limped towards where it was he could hear your voice, obviously discussing with somebody else.

“(Y/N)…(Y/N)?"he murmured out, not being too aware of the fact that several eyes were on him as he waddled over to your location as he leaned on whatever stable object he could find.

"That clown seems to be very interested in you though.”

“No he does not. Besides,"Robert heard you say, finally feeling his head clear up and allow him to comprehend the current situation, noticing that you stood in front of one of the new members. "Even if Robert did feel anything for me…he,um…

With the now able to perceive mind and eyes, Robert felt his own perk up a bit in hope. Maybe you were going to say something about your true feelings?

"He,what?”

“He is too sweet for me, he’s just…not the type of man I see myself with really.”

And that was it, that was what made Robert’s eyes widen before he glanced down with a now hurtful chest. He leaned against what he believed what was a box, but was actually a curtain that he accidentally threw down as he left.

Robert quickly dashed out before he eventually found himself outside of the circus tent, realizing that it was quite dark and not much could be seen except the stars in the sky along with some lanterns burning afar. Although, he realized that two of the lanterns that most likely stood together had moved to the side and turned off for a moment, but then the fire was lit once again. It was almost as if they were two eyes blinking which created an unsettling feeling in Robert who squinted his eyes to have a better view, especially when the two “lanterns” turned off at the same time. Though he felt curious and confused, he shook his head with eyes shut before he looked up ahead and noticed that they no longer turned back on.

Robert let out a sigh and rubbed the back of his head before he began to walk again, not exactly having a destination in mind nor idea of where it was he was even headed. He looked up ahead, eventually coming close to a lantern that he turned to, blowing out the wax candle that was held inside it. For some reason, darkness was all he wanted around him in that moment.

Robert bit his lip, not really knowing what else he was supposed to do except think about you. He never realized that a small smile had crept onto his face and replaced his original frown. What he also had not realized, was that there was a presence lurking nearby…sneakily creeping up to him as well.

“Damn…what am I supposed to do…what am I supposed to do with myself most of all?"he asked out loud, almost as if he was asking somebody and awaiting an answer. "I am such a fool…a young woman like that,ha! Somebody like me could never turn her head, I am just the poor dancing clown.”

He kicked a rock that skipped away from him and landed near a bush where two eye like lanterns hid in between the bushes, and Robert had never noticed them. He strolled past the plant that slightly shook, thus resulting in Robert becoming a bit alarmed.

“M-must be the wind…"he whispered to himself, eventually realizing that for some reason there was no trace of wind which he immediately ignored. "Or just…a raccoon?”

There was not very much that he could even think of considering how his thoughts were and would only be filled with you, especially after what he saw. He could only remember all the good times when you willingly talked to him for some reason rather than all the other men in the circus, or even with Mr. Smith himself! He tried to shake the thoughts away, but his mind could only keep on going to those say moments and how he saw you with the strongman. Not exactly the best sight, especially if the silly and absurd words every one of the circus performers told him.

“Aww Bob, (Y/N) is practically head over heels over you!”

“The girl can’t live without ya!”

“She is practically begging that you take and claim her for yourself sweetheart!”

No…no she is not, and she never will. Not with him at least, not with the Dancing Clown that only children admire and gets made fun of by all kinds of adults. The Dancing Clown who has only made her laugh because he’s a clown.

Robert soon found himself at the end of Derry, or at least what could be considered the civilization portion. In front of him was the forest that not many dared to go into at this time, but in the moment he really gave no care and just needed to isolate himself from everybody. Taking one last glance behind him, he frowned before he walked into the woods and was soon completely surrounded and concealed by old and new trees.