#also i do not agree w said video but youtube thought i would lmao so

[vendettasfanfictioning]

"ENGAGEMENT RING" WAS NOT SOME WAYWARD TRANSLATION BUT AN ACTUAL LINE IN THE JP MANGA?????? I always thought the reason some translations said, "engagement (ring)," where others used, "prenup," for Illumi and Hisoka's contract was because it was one translator's whim to cause chaos???? Like. It could be read as either of those, but was not necessarily the whole definition.

(x)

But no, I've input the kanji into every translator I could find and they all said roughly the same thing—prenuptial contract. Meanwhile, the furigana (AKA the reading aid consisting of smaller kana printed either above or next to kanji or other characters to indicate their pronunciation), spelled out engagement ring.

I know this might be old news to some but I was today years old when I found out it was so literal????? Togashi really spelled it out in a way ensures we can't misunderstand yet somehow the implications still fly over a few people's heads???????

Idk about y'all but if I was an assassin born and raised on the ideology that an assassin does not need friends and some powerful magician mf just dallies around, telling every person he fights that he's my friend—I'd have killed him by now. I wouldn't trust him with my family secrets. I wouldn't do him any favors.

Or if I was a power-hungry fighter always striving to grow stronger, who grew up in the literal slums and betrays people left and right, I wouldn't put my trust on this pretty assassin either. Even if it's all just manipulations in the end, I wouldn't have any reason to call him, and only him, a friend. I wouldn't give him many, if not all, of my earthly possessions if I were to pass away—even if he isn't the one to kill me.

That's the thing about the contract too, Illumi gets his, "engagement ring," regardless of who kills Hisoka. Illumi's insured, whatever the outcome of this fight may be, so long as Hisoka dies. The funny thing about prenups is it could also be treated as a will of sorts—should one person die, I think it's more commonplace for prenups to include that all valuable assets be given to the widow by default??

Hisoka really did not need to do that, in order to hire Illumi???? Does this mean Hisoka knows and accepts the inevitability of his death on the Black Whale??? Or did his touch with death after fighting Chrollo open his eyes to the fact that he still needed a beneficiary, someone to take his belongings when he dies???? Either way, it's telling that he chose Illumi, of all people, to uphold this extremely important contract...

Anyways. Whether you wanna acknowledge it or not, Hisoka and Illumi have grown to become a pair in the Hunter X Hunter universe, have become the most unlikely, if not terrifying, friends and while the, "engagement ring," or the, "prenup," may not be explicitly romantic, the connotations and the possibilities are still there.

In conclusion, these insane mfs are gay and married, good for them!! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

[snow-and-saltea]

yesterday i spent 45 minutes of my life watching a video essay criticising the use of cheap shock values and crossing of taboos for a video game and i went from "he has a point even if he's explaining it in a really inflammatory way" to "oh umm... i can see how he thinks that way even if i don't agree" to "oh this guy's just straight up using people on tumblr as material for an audience to get mad at like other outdated people on the internet. nvm he's just an asshole"

[the-resurrection-3d]

Yes it is 1m and I am still thinking about how to save Twitter.

I’m just so fascinated by Musk’s Twitter project. He said he wanted it to be a huge, multi-functional app the way WeChat is in China -- by this point, I’m very pro-decentralized internet, so obviously I dislike this idea, but I understand why it’s appealing from a business perspective.

And then you remember it’s Twitter. In response to Musk insinuating he wanted people to “live on Twitter,” one user summed it up best: “I’d sooner willing walk into a fucking gas chamber lmao.” 

I just can’t think of anything being able to fix Twitter’s reputation besides him shutting it off for a month and then having a grand reopening, Fortnite-style. Because let’s be real, without HUGE changes to the site, letting basically all speech on there is just going to cause the discourse to get even worse. I recently saw a tweet that states “Twitter is a bunch of angry despairing people currently looking subconsciously for confirmation that the world is in fact as bad and hopeless as they feel, fed by grifters and clout chasers.” And I have to agree. Unless there’s a mass exodus a la post-tits-ban Tumblr, what reason is there for a normie to come back onto Twitter? 

I also have to wonder what the actual limits are, especially for things like pro-ana content or open MAPs -- far as I can tell, he hasn’t said anything, and tbf it’s likely he doesn’t know that these communities exist because why would he. 

I know I’ve written of this before, but it’s really the entire design of the site that’s anathema to any kind of productive discussion. However, Noah and I were discussing this again, and I think another problem that is also getting overlooked -- at least in terms of Twitter increasing its popularity amongst The Normals-- is that the ability to make money through Twitter is limited. Obviously there are people with Patreons and whatnot on Twitter, but 1) the actual rate of conversion of viewer-to-buyer seems pretty low and 2) you have to go offsite to sub to someone’s patreon, or order their book, or visit their shopify. 

Recently, Twitter rolled out a tipping feature for creators-- but only on the app version. I thought this feature was still locked behind a follower-minimum, but evidentially not, and the fact that I’ve been using Twitter for awhile with no knowledge of this is probably indicative of something. 

Honestly, I’ve only seen tipping turned on by a few people, none of whom promote the fact that they have this featured enabled, mind. And it’s not like I’m only following fandom blogs who aren’t in this for the money; a lot of people on littwt are constantly asking for money in some fashion. But not through tips. 

If you do not use Twitter, the only way to tip someone is by going onto their profile, vs here where you can leave a tip on any of their original posts, regardless of whether it’s the source post or a reblog. As much as people have clowned on tumblr, I think this is a vastly better design. How often do you go onto the profiles of people you follow, unless they’re explicitly directing you to do so? And if you get viral, most people still aren’t going to click through to your profile, hence why many people drop their handles/links in a reply tweet.

I also am reminded of discussions in the publishing industry of how trad publishers will quite literally gaslight you about the effectiveness of Twitter as a marketing tool. That’s not to say it’s completely useless, but again, the follower-to-buyer -- and in my experience, even follower-to-free-reader -- conversion is very low. This isn’t just about writing, though -- I’ve heard video creators as far back as (I wanna say) 2018 mention how measly the Twitter-to-watch conversion rate is. 

Further, there doesn’t seem to be much in the way of Twitter outreach on how to improve growth, as opposed to sites like YouTube, where Youtube’s advice for growth and monetization are so well-known they bleed into the content itself, or even Instagram, which will have phone calls with and even invite small business creators like Rainylune to a conference specifically on how small businesses can work the algorithm (even if everyone attending thinks the advice sucks and they hate it). And I don’t know how Facebook Marketplace works, but my mom buys fake designer purses off of there all the time, so obviously someone is making money. Meanwhile on Twitter, small businesses and artists find their shop and patreon links frequently suppressed. 

I think finding a way to help small businesses and creators promote their content more effectively and improve conversion rates is the second big thing Musk would need to focus on after the harassment problem. A lot of normies in my industry are really only on Twitter because they feel pressured to, because publishers will push writers to be on Twitter or TikTok or whatever so they don’t need to spend any more money on marketing, because some agents have literally rejected people for having less than 10k followers. If you want Twitter to grow, I think making it a much more robust marketing tool is going to be necessary. 

[tobiosmilktea]

hey! i really love your headcanons! can i request osamu, atsumu, and sakusa with a female s/o who's into ballet? like how would they react when their s/o perform or how would they feel when they see their s/o put so much effort in her career as a ballerina. thanks before! 💖

ballerina girlfriend w/ osamu, atsumu, and sakusa

a/n: finally my years of binge watching the royal ballet youtube videos have come in handy ��😌

— m. osamu

his guilty pleasure is watching ballet performances on youtube occasionally

honestly, it wasn’t his fault because you were the one who pulled up a video of the variation you were trying to learn on his account and all of a sudden he started getting ballet videos all over his recommendations

he doesn’t mind tho cause he finds them kinda relaxing

and whenever he watching a performance of one of the variations you’ve been working on, he’s genuinely shocked you could even do every move

he loves watching you practice whenever you’re not at the company

lowkey, osamu would probably be one of those people who don’t actually do the dance/sport but still point out if they made a mistake or not (like watching the olympics type beat)

“isn’t your leg on the forth attitude supposed to be devant??” or “it’s a forth position croise, maam.” or “i dunno, y/n, your bouree could be better” (i don’t know if any of this is correct btw 💀)

i think he watches a little too much royal ballet lmao

he’s really proud of you when he finds out you were promoted to principle as it’s one step closer to becoming a professional (once again idk if this is accurate)

it had been your dream since you started ballet so osamu has been really supportive of you the moment you two started dating

whenever you forget something in your kit or if it runs out (maybe like tiger balm to ease the soreness) know that osamu is on his way to save the day

he always asks if you’re feeling alright whenever he comes to pick you up from rehearsal cause he knows you like to give it your all when you’re dancing

unlike atsumu, osamu knows audience etiquette when watching your performances and only claps the absolute loudest whenever your variations are over

he tries to go to every performance you have no matter what, but he did have to miss one of your performances cause he was in tokyo for nationals

but he still supported you despite being five hours away

bonus: you sometimes get sick of osamu being nit-picky whenever he watches you practice so you make him learn a few ballet moves

he’s lowkey decent for someone who has never done ballet ngl despite almost rolling his ankle trying to land a pas de chat

— m. atsumu

homeboy thought he had it pretty hard balancing volleyball and school work but you honestly took the cake on this one

atsumu always knew that you were a hard worker and is usually really busy, but i guess he didn’t really notice that the majority of your time went into ballet when you weren’t focusing on school

he didn’t notice how much effort you put into your hobby until your ballet company’s performance was only two weeks away

literally the moment the school’s bell dismissed classes, you were already out of the classroom door trying to get to rehearsal on time considering you’re a principle and you wanted to warm up for the hours of practicing coming your way

there were days where you and atsumu only see each other during lunch breaks at school because your schedules often overlap

you two try your best seeing each other and sometimes surprise one another if someone’s practice ends up being shorter than usual or if the season isn’t in full swing yet

lowkey i could see atsumu leaving vb practice asap just to see you practicing

since homie is STRONK™️, he would help you break in your ballet shoes

his favorite part is when you let him beat the absolute crap out of the toe box (i.e hitting it against the concrete floor or stepping on it) so you can have a softer landing when you dance

however, sometimes you have to stop him from overdoing it our else the toe box is too weak to even support you anymore (it happened once and you didn’t have time to break in a new pair)

after a long days worth of practice, the ones where you could barely walk, atsumu would be there holding you up and walking with you everywhere

and this happens often even if you feel fine cause his practice always ends before yours so he’s always showing up at your ballet company to pick you up cause he’s a responsible bf

atsumu is such a supportive boyf, but definitely a loud one

the first performance he saw of yours (let’s say you did esmeralda’s variation) he would be clapping along to the beat as if he was in a russian audience

he ended up getting shushed at BUT when you did Don Quixote, he was having the time of his life clapping during the act 1 finale when you were doing pirouette’s across the stage

after each variation that you are in, he’s so loud like 🥺🥺

wow we love a supportive mans

afterwards he would give you the biggest bouquet he could afford and takes you out to a celebratory dinner cause he thinks you’re absolutely amazing

bonus: he would try some basic ballet moves but he’s honestly not that flexible

his ankles said bYE

— s. kiyoomi

sakusa’s super respectful of your hobbies and that you’re generally a busy person when it comes to it

he tries to spend as much time with you even if it has to do with ballet

whenever he’s over at your house and you’re rehearsing a variation, he loves watching you even if you do mess up

sometimes you would ask him to double check what the next move is just to tease him cause you know he doesn’t know shit about ballet

“sakusa, what’s after the arabesque?”

and he’s like “um... i think you go on your toes after that”

wow thanks for the help dude,, very descriptive

unlike the twins, his support is more on the quieter side

he isn’t one that’s into ballet like osamu or loud and chaotic like atsumu, but you’re aware of his support

he tries to attend every one of your performances and often times gives you massages after a very harsh rehearsal

sakusa even lets you ramble about the shit that goes on in that ballet company of yours and he acts like he understands half of the stuff you’re saying

“can you believe that yuri got principle instead of naho?? literally, naho did the sugar plum pas de deux with haruto better than yuri did. like her bourees are soo clean, i’m jealous”

principle?? pas de deux?? bouree?? lol just nod and agree sakusa,, we’ve all been there

this doesn’t mean that he doesn’t try his best to learn everything that you’re saying as you practically did the same for him with volleyball

you deadass learned how to play (not that you’re any good), learned all the positions, the possible calls, and all the rules just so you could watch his games and understand them

sakusa likes things to be mutual so he tries learning balle terms but all the french is kinda throwing him off a bit

despite going to a lot of your performances, you don’t push him into going since you know how he feels about crowds and such

especially when everyone is walking in or out once the show is over, you know sakusa is going to get overwhelmed and you always tell him that he doesn’t have to go

but he wants to prove to you that he’s a good bf that’s supportive so he pushes through either way

on the plus side, it’s easy to spot sakusa in the crowd cause he’s the only one wearing a mask

you don’t even have to see his face in order to know that he’s proud of you 

bonus: because sakusa is trying his hardest to know the basics of ballet, he basically forces you to teach him some moves

when you teach him all of the positions, he’s surprisingly good esp at fourth and fifth position

you knew he had flexible wrists but you didn’t know it also applied to his ankles too LMAO

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #459

“i wanted you to know that i love the way you laugh  /  i wanna hold you high and steal your pain away”

Does the person you like have any flaws? He's never seemed very expressive of what he feels. Has anyone ever given you a ring? Why? Yes. Because it was our anniversary and he wanted to, ig. If you ruled your own country, what type of government would it have? I'm not educated enough to answer this. Creation theory, Evolution or the Big Bang theory? I really don't know what I believe about the origins of the universe, but I do believe in evolution. Describe one of your most emotional farewells. The last time I saw Jason and we talked for a long time, and I finally got my closure. It was all so heavy. It started so stiffly, but it ended with us just chatting and smiling and, to my absolute shock, a hug from him. I'm getting emotional so NEXT QUESTION. What was your last serious conversation about? I was reassuring and comforting Sara about some stuff. Is there a city that you have a particular fondness for? If so, what city is it and why? No. Are there any gnomes in your yard? No. When was the last time you were stung by a bee? What kind was it? Years ago. A bumblebee. Are you gonna buy lottery tickets when you’re old enough? I am old enough, and no. The odds are way, way too small, and I don't really dabble in addictive behavior. Have you ever been into a real cave? No. :( That's a life goal, though. Have you ever posted mean comments on YouTube? I know I did once as a kid. It was regarding Meerkat Manor and I thought it was really disrespectful to Flower just because of the music chosen lmao. The drama. What color is your digital camera, if you have one? Black. If you had to spend one day in any movie storyline, which one would it be? Alice in Wonderland, I suppose? Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): Oh man, I've played waaaaay too many video games. I suppose Silent Hill with how confused it left me at first. Its concept is definitely wild. Parasite Eve is high on the list, too. In your opinion, what is the saddest movie you’ve ever seen? Boy in the Striped Pajamas destroys me. What is the best song to make out to? I could answer this but I'm not gonna lmfao Is there anyone right now that you are simply/overly infatuated with? story of my life ayyyyeeeee Who was the last person to play with your hair? Are they cute? Not a clue. Who was the last person close to you that died? Did you cry? Jason's mom. I sobbed on-and-off for days. Do you consider yourself a healthy person? Physically and mentally? No, in either way. Do you know anyone who owns a boat? My dad does. I'm sure others, too, with how popular fishing out on a boat is here. Do you know anyone who uses medical marijuana? I don't know. Even for medicinal purposes, it's not legal here. Do you know anyone who’s died in childbirth? No. What did you do for your 21st birthday? I was in the psych hospital, so... lmao. Therapy, reading, and coloring. Lots of reading and coloring. Because they did NOT fill your schedule enough there. We only had two group therapy sessions a day, and the rest was just... blankness. If dinosaurs could be tamed, would you want one as a pet? I know I'd be one of the dumb ones that absolutely wanted a tiny raptor, lol. Do you own more than one copy or edition of a book? No. If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? Not interested. Do you eat soup when you’re sick? I don't like soup. If you read, which book or series did you enjoy most as a child? My first real series that I read religiously was Hank the Cowdog. Then it was Warriors. Do you buy Halloween candy when it’s on sale after the holiday? No. I really don't need candy available to me. Do you agree with the “they’re just being kids” excuse? It depends on what they're doing. In a lot of cases, no. Do you ever watch talk shows? No. Do you have a/any hero(s)? Mark Fischbach, Steve Irwin, my mom... Have you told your parents all of your secrets from when you were a teen? No. Though Mom has playfully once told me that she knows a lot of things I don't think she does, and that's terrifying lmao. You’re getting married. Who’s your maid of honor and best man? M.o.H.: Mom or Sara. Best man isn't my choice. Would you rather get highlights or dye your whole head? DYE IT ALLLLLLL. Are you wearing anything of any sentimental value? Describe? My friendship ring w/ Sara. It has a heart carved on the outside and "bitch" engraved inside so no one can see when you have it on, lol. She has one that says "jerk." It's a Supernatural reference. Who challenges you the most? In what way? My therapist and psychiatrist. They just help ensure I pursue my goals and give me little nudges forward to reassure me. Who seems to hold you back? In what way? PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT ME. I listen to my anxiety WAY too much. What was the last opportunity that you passed up, and why? Going up to Lake Gaston w/ Mom to visit Ash and her fam. They go there all the time, and it's a real nice place. I just didn't want to go because of the heat. Should there be an application process for having children? Hunny, that would not stop people from fuckin lmfao Name one thing that you think defines you as a person? m e e r k a t s What is a fear you have about living on your own? That depression would get the better of me and I'd neglect taking good care of my house. One of the many reasons I'll never live alone. Not at all saying I'd leave the responsibilities to my partner, but they'd be motivation for me to get stuff done. What’s the worst name your mom has ever called you? I don't know. Nothing that bad. What’s your stance on spooning? It helps me feel safe and loved and alsdkfjalwe I just love cuddling in all sorts lmao What’s your most recent obsession? Violet Orlandi & Melodicka Bros' cover of "Somebody That I Used to Know." Have you ever been scammed? Ha ha, yes. I once wanted to get Jason a Joker and Harley Quinn pillow from deviantART; talked to the artist, paid 'em, never got it. :^) Have you ever fostered an animal? No. I would get WAY too attached to foster. I wouldn't be able to give them up without breaking down, probs. Do you know anyone who acts way younger than what they are? I'm sure I do, but no one is coming to mind atm. Would you say you’re a pretty independent person? God no. Does the last song you listened to, remind you of someone? JASON. Do you currently want a new computer? Yes, actually. I want a desktop PC for better gaming quality, honestly. Also, the "escape" key doesn't work on this laptop, one key is missing so I have to hit the sensor JUST right, and it restarts randomly sometimes. I want a PC mainly because I want to get out of the habit of being on my laptop in bed all damn day. How would your parents react if you got a tattoo? I already have like six or seven, so they wouldn't be surprised. Is there anyone you can picture yourself being with forever right now? Maybe. Who is your truest friend? Sara. What is the strangest thing you’ve ever seen outside of your house? THIS house? Idk. Nothing that I'd consider odd. What bug frightens you most? STAG BEETLES lkadjslkfja;lwekjawl;kejrlawer Who is your oldest friend? That would be Sam, and he's in his mid-30s. How long have you known them? Many years. We met via WoW, which I've been playing since '14. I don't really remember how far into it we met, though. Where are they right now? lol I wouldn't know, he's all the way in Jersey. Plus we haven't talked in a while. Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? God no, that would be so weird. What is the best gift someone can give you? An ear to listen without it feeling like a chore to them. Have you ever dated someone who had a child? No. I don't think I could do it. What is the last movie that made you cry? The The Lion King remake made me tear up. Have you ever played in a waterfall? No. Ugh, that sounds like a blast. In your life who has meant the most to you? Let's not get into this. What has been your biggest failure in life? Letting depression and my other conditions take away my identity, becoming my new identity. Do you trust yourself? No. I second-guess EVERYTHING and never know what I should listen to: my heart, my head, my gut... or which voice is what. Would you ever consider getting an abortion, under any circumstances? Yes. What was the last bug you killed? Some kind in the bathroom. Idk what it was. Just a little thing that sort of resembled an earwig, but not completely. Do you prefer profile pictures by yourself of with someone else? By myself, since it's my page. Do you know anyone who has written a book? I don't think so? Do you drink milk/juice from the carton if no one is around? Ew, no. I live with another person, and even if I didn't, what if I had guests? Has anyone ever told you they liked you in a realllly sweet way? Maybe? Has a member of the opposite sex ever given you jewlery? Jason has. Do you find sleeping in cars easy? NOOOOOOOOOO. I'm too scared to let my eyes close and not see what's going on on the road. Has a boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s parents ever gotten mad at you? Why? I don't believe so, no. What is the funniest thing a child has ever said to you. Definitely something my niece has said, but idr what it was. What’s been on your mind lately? Y'all know, lol. Do you feel like you need to get something off your chest? No. Sara was recently there for that. ♥ How would you react if someone told you they had feelings for you? Be very very excited if it was from a certain person.

[laikuh]

Is it weird that whenever I see an anti!John post, I always assume that they're Destiel shippers? Because 9/10 of the time, they are. Which is weird because plenty in the fandom likes John as a character -- we see him as he is/was, as he was written; a broken man. Our voices we're just drowned out by crazy LOUD shippers. --- Here's my wholesome Dean&John headcanon w/o context. --- youtu. be/BsuY9lHxg88

idk if its weird, because i feel like you’re probably right. i ship daddycest, a bit of wincest, and also am a bonafide destiheller, and i def think john in canon is pretty terrible. i might have been more sympathetic before the episode where we learn he let dean get arrested and sent to the boys home for shoplifting food for him and sam, saying let him rot, like, that’s a line for me personally. i think destiel folk probably prioritize dean over john for shit like that (dean saying things with dad got “dicey” to sam in s14 also comes to mind) and so that gets reflected in fandom spaces. and bc their ship has nothing to do with john, just dean, there’s more space to be anti-john in their posts. 

i can’t speak for anyone else who isn’t in the destiel fandom, since i’m in it myself, but for me i just put aside my canon gripe with john for the sake of the ship and the fic, just like i put aside my real life problems with incest when i read or write daddycest/wincest. and i agree with you--john is very complicated and very broken, and that’s interesting to explore. it’s interesting to humanize him in depth, given the show really does nothing to engage with the contradiction that is john winchester, they just rubberstamp his supposed goodness and act like he...like he didn’t make his children feel like shit, leave them alone for weeks on end, let dean repeatedly suffer for crimes likely committed in service of keeping his brother fed and clothed, and then consistently treat them like tools instead of people when they were adults. 

idk, you probably didn’t mean to unlock all this with me, but i have a lot of thoughts and issues and love for john. i resonate with dean and sam, and i resonate with their choice to forgive him despite his flaws. that said, i also find it incredibly aggravating that the show itself disregards its own canon re: john. that it brushes aside the shit john did because jeffrey dean morgan is just that hot and cool and good at acting and genuinely close with j2. 

i don’t think my otp being destiel makes me more critical of john, but i think, as i said above, that destiel folk are just more invested in breaking down what makes dean so tragic, and like...a solid 75% of that is the damage john did him as a kid. whereas wincest/daddycest folks (i assume that’s the divide being drawn here?) have a bigger investment in both characters, that allows more room for humanizing and thinking about john outside of dean. if that makes sense? hope this doesn’t come off as wanky or ship war-y, but it IS an interesting dynamic that you point out, that a lot of john hate comes from that corner of fandom. i feel in an interesting position because im in both segments of the spn fandom. 

eta: i also think this is why i WANT to write a fic where john isn’t a garbage father. i want to explore what it would like for him and dean if their childhood wasn’t so traumatic. if he’d TALKED with them about mary, if he’d TALKED about this feelings and let them talk about theirs, if HE’D taken time to work a steady job every now and then to earn enough money to keep them fed and clothed before he quit to go hunting. i wanna know what a real partnership (insomuch as an incestuous father-son relationship can be real) between john and dean would look like if dean wasn’t holding on to years of repressed shame, guilt, and anger because of things john said/did/taught him. 

SECOND ETA: OMFG I FORGOT TO CHECK THE YOUTUBE VIDEO AND FUCK PERFECTION dean sings this under his breath whenever john’s in a mood and it always pulls out the faintest of smiles lmao.

[hannafuckingsucks]

hey guess what uuuuuuh. today apparently was sompfd thoughts day™ on discord so I came up with a super cute n fluffy Hardzzello headcanon! this was all fueled by Joe's birthday post for Ben and the video of Ben gettin kissed on the cheek 😌 big help came from @walking-in-a-daze by making noises of encouragement at me while I spammed the chat with my brain barf lol, and for helping me to get the perfect final scene 🤭

(1,3k words oopsie)

ok without further ado, some very emotional thoughts™ about two headasses:

•°•°•°•°•°•

the thought of Ben and Joe just slowly getting more comfortable with physical contact!!!

like they are just friends first, of course. 

but both of them get very touchy-feely when drunk

it starts with just a hand on the shoulder or a pat on the back. 

or a hug with some extra room for the holy spirit in the crotch area at the end of the  night

but as months go on they get hella comfortable w each other

like public dancing

holding hands

touching their faces

kissing cheeks

idk I just get so soft thinking about them being so sweet and intimate and uuh BABIES

mmmmm the thought of them both being piss drunk one night and

idk Ben gets lost somewhere and Joe is so worried and runs around like "where is Benny?????"

and Ben just shows up after 15 minutes like "sowwy I was at the loo and aiming was hard lmao"

and Joe is so relieved that he's ok, he hugs him soo tightly

and when he finally let's go he cradles Ben's face in his hands and looks into his eyes and says how worried he was and how happy he is that he's fine

and Ben just giggles non stop because he's kinda embarrassed but also so happy 

AAAAAAAAA I'm gonna punch a wall

like I imagine the rest of the gang being there too, Gwil, Rami, Lucy etc.

they are not nearly as drunk as those two and they find it so cute but also constantly have to roll their eyes at those idiots

lovely thought: one of them *accidentally* takes home the other

like they talk about something while they are on their way home and they are really captured by the conversation 

and then it's just "oh we are at your flat Joe"

so Ben's like "I really should get going but-"

and then they talk another 20 minutes at the door step

and Joes just like "c'mon man. please come in. you can crash in my bed, I'll take the couch"

so they get in and they keep talking and Joe starts to get some bedding for the couch

but Ben feels kinda bad like "joe buddy, cmzon, I'll take the couch. I don't want your old man back to feel stiff tomorrow morning" with a wink

like the cheeky piece of shit he is lol

which ends in a lil fight because Joe is "old" but Ben is the guest!

but it's a king-size bed so it wouldn't even be that awkward

they just both look at it for a second, then at each other and 

they BoTH would REALLY love to sleep next to each other. to.. to feel each others warmth uhm

but they are both too pusseyy™ to admit that of course

the situation gets kinda tense

because who will say they want it first??

the answer is no one

but in the end one can talk the other into at least sharing the bed

so the bed is absolutely big enough for both of them, they got plenty of space, even jesus would approve.

but they unconsciously inch closer to each other in their sleep 

shocking, I know

and they wake up somehow spooning

plot twist of the century. revolutionary

I'm imagining Ben as the big spoon because he's bigger. y'know, wider. buff bapey boy

oh and Joe is awake already for like half an hour in the morning but he doesn't want to move because he feels so warm and save in Ben's ARMS. have you seen those guns? magnificent

it's a little awkward when they both wake up finally and Ben just keeps apologizing, feeling like he overstepped boundaries

so Joe has to stop his rambling

and they have a somehow uncomfortable but also intimate talk about how this is not a big deal and everything

about how they both are comfortable with being so physically close AAA 😩

it's very soft but also fueled by sexual tension y'know

Joe is able to talk about this in a very calm and collected manner 

but on the inside hes screaming to himself

about how in love he is 

it's one of those angel vs devil inside-dialogues like  "TELL HIM" "no I can't" "you COWARD" "HE'S MY FRIEND" "YOU LOVE HIM" "so WHAT if I do but he's my BRO" "BRO THAT YOU'D LIKE TO FU-" "shuT UP"

after they talked and made peace with the situation they get breakfast together uwu

or brunch. with mimosas like a true couple

but the are just friends!!!!!!! ;) ;) ;)

but they both still think a lot about their current situation

Ben might feels very conflicted and doesn't know how to handle this stuff and all those new emotions

he just never felt like that before

he just has this... fragile bro masculinity

the classic "I'm not gay but if I was.." dilemma oh poor baby

but now they BOTH constantly have the "I'm not gay I just love my friend" thought and honestly that makes me crack tf up

like. "I love him I would die for him oh my god! but I'M NOT G-" 

and one day Joe just has to talk about it with someone 

he just has to get it off his chest

and so he spills the beans to Gwil like "idk bro I just love him and he's my best friend and I just wanna spend all my free time with him. I mean I'm not gay but sometimes I imagine living in a cottage with Ben and 4 adopted dogs and two goats. we could grow our own vegetables in the garden too. I saw this YouTube video about this one lady that-"

and Gwil just goes "Joe that is so gay please stop lying to yourself"

a Joe's just like :O

so Gwil's like "listen. maybe you are not gay gay, as in homosexual BUT. you are very gay for Ben and that's honestly not a surprise to me anymore because I've been watching you two for some time now and wow. might as well just propose already you dumb bitch"

and Joe's just like

so Ben also goes for advice from Gwil

poor Gwil has to deal with all this bullshit :/

Ben's like "Gwil I need to talk to you about Joe" and Gwil just sighs and looks into the camera like he's on the office

Ben's kinda mad at himself because why the fuck would he feel feelings like this???

he currently is very irritated by said feelings and how he's not able to handle them

Ben's like "never in my life have I been soft, I don't know what to do?!"

and Gwil says "Ben you literally cried last week when we watched Aristocats"

so Gwil is trying to calmly explain to Ben that it's ok for him to feel like this and that he gets it, that it can be scary and weird at first but Ben still should be true to himself etc etc

and Ben's just like "..... ok. But. WHAT IF I AM JUST STUPID and Joe only likes me as a bro"

this goes back and forth for a while and Gwil tries his best to stay neutral 

because he really doesn't want to intervene too much by telling Ben about his talk with Joe

but after the 6th time of Ben doubting everything he snaps

"BEN GET YOUR FUCKING HEAD OUTA YA ASS YOU BLIND IDIOT bloody hell! first him and now you! why can't you just both be blunt and TALK?!"

"first him.. what?"

and Gwil just goes "I shouldn't have said that. I should NOT have said that" like full-on Hagrid in the philosopher's stone

and Ben's takes his time realizing what Gwil just said and his brain slowly begins to connect the dots

so the situations just them staring at each other like

Gwil:

Ben:

anyway, this is the end. I would love to let them fuck but uuh. dumbasses don't deserve it yet. this would need a, as @cherries-n-rocknroll fittingly described it, good short 15k pining fic! I agree, but I can't do that 💞

if you got this far, thank you, I hope you got to laugh as much as we did! ✨♥️

[vortomorto]

i totally agree with the majority of what you said in that anon. george MADE n*zi jokes in the first green screen video, so why would anyone be shocked some 15 y old white boy submitted some for this vid? i think in his case, a lot of the things he did were things i found iffy, but then everyone started adding up, culminating in what happened last month and i decided i was done. i think white male creators get far more passes and i’m guilty of that too! this whole thing has be reevaluating (1/2)

"(2/2) how i look at creators and the standards i hold them to. i always felt like i had reasonable standards, but idk who knows. i still watch the other 3 boys, despite their own flaws, so maybe that makes me a hypocrite. it’s hard to navigate all this, and i appreciate you talking about it, honestly. the sdmn stuff has always bothered me, comments mostly but also harry in general- talk about the pinnacle of edgy white boy getting away w everything. "

im not going to call you a hypocrite, because youre trying and youre educating yourself and thats all i can ask from anyone. its hard to part ways with creators you used to watch everyday, youre emotionally connected to them.

parting ways with will and george was easy for me, i admit, bc i found their content boring lately (i never liked james that much—dont ask). its been hard to not watch alex bc i have been watching him for years and i know that he is better than this, but, as you said, white male creators get far more passes.

what im going to recommend to you, is try to find some new creators (yt or tik tok) or some new fandoms, maybe even explore some new genres. i just rewatched two john mulaney specials, bc he is proof that you can be funny while not being offensive. male youtubers who are mostly unproblematic that i watch: kurtis conner, dangelo wallace, dan and phil (dans inactive), buzzfeed unsolved. obviously everyone is different, so if you decide to start looking for new creators, you have to do your own searching.

im definitely guilty of ignoring things that i knew deep down were not ok and im trying to be better and hold myself and others accountable.

i didnt mention harry on purpose bc half of the time idk if its a coping mechanism or if he is trying to be edgy. i dont want to criticize a person that might have a drug addiction especially because i have never been in that position. he is definitely one of the most problematic people and sadly i dont think he will ever actually care. his friends will never call him out, his audience is more problematic than he is and he makes a good amount of money off his persona.

also thank you for appreciating me talking about it, bc between the language barrier and the stans, its been difficult 😪 im honestly trying my best and hoping its enough

(sidenote; you started with " i agree with most of what you said" and i thought you were gonna drag me tbh i was scared lmao)

[bodhirookes]

I'm sorry to hear abt your writers block and that your job has been draining :( make sure to take time for yourself and recharge your batteries! Ive been doing well Im apart of some activist groups so it's been a crazy week for me and itll only keep ramping up but thats a good thing! I agree w everything you said abt relationships with a push and pull my first ship was destiel so ofc every ship after that involves tension lol (maybe bc I want to model my future relationships after them? Idk) -💙

hello my lovely blue anon!!!! so so wonderful to hear from you again!!! :”))))) thank you for always reaching out and checking in w me when i need it most!!! it always lifts my spirits 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

thankfully my writer’s block is starting to go away again now that i’ve gotten through the first part of ch 5 and i’m back into the grove of the fic!!! idk djdjdjej it took me all this time to write just 2k of the chapter and i hate it and will have to edit it so much but it had to be pushed through lmao!! and yeah my job has been giving me sooooooo much anxiety lately but i think i’m getting through that as well!! i’m just not fit to work in a call center even though my callers are like 95% sweet angels, and i’m hoping to get into data entry when my one year anni there hits in september :”)))))) i’ve been reading a lot of fic and watching a lot of youtube videos in my off time to recharge and calm down!!! 

ahhhhhh that’s so cool!!!! it’s so inspiring to hear that you’re part of activist groups and doing what the heck needs to be done!!!! i hope that you’re able to make progress and inspire change wherever you live!! i hope you’re also taking some time in between that to recharge your batteries and find some peace with everything that’s going on 💕💕💕💕

and lmfaoooooo i haven’t thought about destiel in sooo long i miss them so much fhsdfhdshh supernatural was my favorite for like 4 years and destiel was everything :”))))) i really liked sam/gabriel too because they were also sassy w each other and i love tall idiot falls for short smartass soooooo much. i also would love to find a s/o that bickers with me and makes me laugh 24/7 

i hope you’re having a wonderful week and taking some time for yourself 💕💕💕💕please continue to fight and stay safe!!!!!!!!!! 

[fmddevin]

woosh !! so i was trying to keep my ooc identity a surprise until now, but apparently i was stupid and y’all found out before i could get this up so...yay!! anyways, i’ll try to keep this short and simple! i’m jada, and this is my second baby, and the last for a while - mr. daein “devin” kim! he’s 23, the lead vocal & lead dancer of impulse, and an overall mess. he’s got a lot to work out, but i’m excited to see what i can do with him and how he grows & develop! he’s a little more on the chaotic side than micha is, but don’t let it scare you off! i swear i’ve got a plot page coming really soon, like tomorrow, but in the meantime - here’s his profile & bio! i’m more than happy to plot with you, though, so like this for me to hop in your ims!! trivia & some hawaii event ideas / general plot ideas under the cut.~

ok let’s get this started!! i promise to try to make this short & sweet as possible (but you know i’m jada so-). but before i wrote daein’s profile i made like a....3 page bullet summary of what i wanted him to be, so i’m going to be inputting some of those here!! so if it sounds a bit rambly...you know why!

if you’re just here for the event thread ideas, scroll down towards the end, where hawaii event ideas is in bold! <3

born on march 24th, 1996!

parents koreans from seoul, korea. met through a study abroad program @ their college, fell in love with each other and the us! had baby daein, who got plopped in the middle of tampa, florida!

his whooooole childhood felt like he was living in isolation. being one f the only asian-american kids on the block, he definitely felt like an outsider. when he’d bring kimbap, kimchi, or tteokbokki for lunch, they’d always look at him all confused like?? what is that

it made him sad bc he always had felt like his different was a good thing, and he’d been raised to be proud of his culture, but apparently not??

as a sidenote kid misheard his name in middle school and was like “devin?” and he was like “sure that’s it” and started going by that outside of home ever since bc it made him feel more american 

just throughout his whole childhood he was ridiculed for being different, which was really the start of his obsession with other’s satisfaction and being like everyone else!

so he took matters into his own hands, but in the worst way possible. during this time, he went against everything his parents had taught him and essentially rejected his korean culture. he stopped bothering to learn the tidbits of korean they were trying to teach him, never brought up his culture, and kind of distanced himself from his parents. he always was trying to bring up some excuse for why they couldn’t come to events because he was always embarrassed about their english and how different they all looked compared to everybody else. just...not a good time and his parents were very upset w/him

anyways onto happy times!! middle school was when he discovered his passion for dance, hip hop in particular. he would always be so amazed by the dancers at the boardwalk performing and decided that’s what he wanted to do!!

sOooOo he originally started off as being self-taught through videos on youtube, but eventually his parents agreed to let him dance if he a.) promised it wouldn’t mess up his grades and b.) he paid for them his own

and he did!! it was Hard but he made sure his grades were in check & picked up a part-time job at the ice cream parlor near his house to get money. it was minimum wage and he had to wear a cheesy apron with this ice cream cone hat but anyways

he could only afford one lesson a week at the community dance center, but it taught him a lot!!! where he discovered his true passion for dance, and tbh spent more time there than anywhere else

eventually!! he joined a florida dance crew and that’s when his skills really blossomed and people started taking him seriously, basically was there until the beginning of high school

tw: drug and alcohol addiction!

and then high school is when it...all came crashing down. being such a people pleaser, he fell victim to peer pressure. he was scared of being looked down again, because by now he’d formed a name for himself and was pretty popular. so, to continue blending in, started getting heavily into drinking and drugs and just...not good, because he grew really dependent on it and started losing his enthusiasm for everything else. it’s something he continues to struggle with a lot, although it’s mostly drinking nowadays and the only drug he’s involved with on a regular basis is weed?? but he has relapsed and that’s a major reason he needs people around him to keep him stable!!

also the dance team wouldn’t let him back in bc he failed the drug test and his drug spiral just got worse because he had nothing else to focus his energy on.

it was the only thing that really made him feel something other than dance, and now that he was spending all of his money on it he couldn’t even do that.

tw: drug and alcohol addiction - end!

he partially discovered his love for singing after the months he had to go w/o dancing. he really started to enjoy it but only in private because he was Embarrased of what others would think so

his parents were tired of his bs because he was a junior now and they were basically like we’re tired of the people we hang around and you need to be around family, so for spring break they sent him to seoul!!

boy was hEated alr. like i said, wasn’t a fan of his culture, he had to leave his friends who were all going on fun trips, & he knew NOTHING - not the language, the people, anything.

but when he got there??? kind of actually enjoyed it. he got to meet family he’d never met before, picked up a little of the language, all of that. but hongdae??? - that’s what made him really excited.

he never thought of korea to be a very exciting place, until he went there. there were so many other talented dancers and he felt so at home, but unlike in florida, they looked like him!

so this is where it gets a little funny lmao. his family refused to fund his habits but he wanted to go to a club while he was there to have fun and impress girl??? so basically, he went to hongdae, and tried  busking for some extra cash. and he LOVED IT!! for a reference he freestyled to turn up the music by chris brown lol

and it was real fun!! he genuinely had a really good time - but right before he left some random ass man left him a little slip, and he was like ??? and then he asked him his name, and daein barely understood what he said and in english was like “hey i’m devin??” and when the man realized he was like yes!! and daein was like no??? but took the slip anyways and turns out it was an invitation to a gold star audition!!

the second daein read it said kpop he essentially was like “lmao no” and just threw it in his bag. so he went home, and kind of forgot about it all, until a few months after he got home. things weren’t really looking up for him and he really wanted to continue his dance career, he just didn’t know how. he didn’t get accepted to the college he wanted to because of that time his grades had plummeted, and it was hard to land a stable dance job. & his parents were like look if you don’t make this dance thing happen we’re going to throw you into a business job with a suit and tie u need money

and daein!! hates!! corporate!! so he was like hell no and decided to give this idol thing one last chance

so - he submitted a video audition to gold star, and low and behold!! he made it!!

even though this was his saving grace, he really didn’t know what to do about it. because i mean he loved tampa, and he didn’t want to leave?? but when his parents heard the opportunity they were ELATED because they knew dance was the only thing that really put his focus on good things & they wanted him to be in korea with his family and all that. so!! they were like DO IT. and he really had no other choice so he was like uhhhh i guess

flash forward to the end of may!! right after the end of his junior year of school in tampa, he moved to korea to start training. since he had a pretty good experience during spring break of the year before, he expected his life to be better than he’d expected!! but...it was really hard. since he had to live there, and he was only 16, he felt really lost w/o his parents, and his only real family there were his grandparents and cousins he barely every said hi to so that sucked

tw: depression and light substance abuse!

around this time was when he developed signs of depression, just as he started training. because it was when he really discovered that he couldn’t please everybody, something that he’d strived to do his whole life. 

he lacked a support system & didn’t have anyone really close to him to make the transition better, since his parents were back in florida and he could barely hold a conversation with his family in korea. this is a big reason he remained dependent on drinking especially, because it got him out of his funk and to temporarily forget about all that was going on.

because of it, daein started getting less sleep, eating less, and all that. gold star noticed it really soon and got him in touch with a psychiatrist, which, eventually diagnosed him with depression. but it’s not something he goes around telling everyone, he has some evident signs but he probably wouldn’t openly tell more than a couple really close & trusted friends. but gold star has been monitoring his mental health to make sure he’s okay mentally. he takes medication but?? it doesn’t do him much good but they’re always hounding him about it so 

like i said though, he’s a very independent person so he doesn’t like to feel like he’s a burden, which is why he doesn’t want others to know because he feels like they’re gonna pity him!!

tw: depression and light substance abuse! - end

bc of his more tan skin (back in the day from florida, not really anymore) and broken korean, he felt like a foreigner, but also people would mistake him for having korean nationality whenever they would talk to him. so he felt like he couldn’t really fit either mold, because he was out of place in korea and florida. but!! i digress

he felt like he was kind of thrust into who’s next: origin story because by the time it started he had only been a trainee for...4 months?? like it’s crazy & he clearly wasn’t ready, a major reason for him being on the losing end, but he had the loveable foreigner thing going on so he did get a good fanbase!! even though he was criticized for his short training period

i doubt he was a favorite among the trainees because he’s REEEEEALLY introverted,,, especially in social situations where he’s not the most comfortable with people in so i don’t think he was super talkative.

 a big reason he has trouble on variety shows now!! it’s not that he doesn’t like but they’ve kind of turned it into a “mysterious” thing, which is fine to him if it mean he doesn’t have to talk as much

also he hated it because he constantly had to dodge staff & other trainees whenever he wanted to drink or smoke so he was probably always trying to find a way to sneak out when they had any kind of free time

he got a lotlotlot better at singing during training though, though they’re kind of forcing an unnatural tone for his voice which is making him strain and can’t be good for him in the long run but marketing!! so. anyways he loves singing a lot more than he did before, he’d always expected to be just a dancer but they unleashed his potential so!! that’s one thing he really enjoyed about training

basically he’s been marketed as the “sexy foreigner” and he kinda hates it ngl. because while he never was attached to his korean identity, the more he’s been here the more he’s just wanted to be the same as everybody else?? so that’s not helping with anything. he’s always kind of laughed at for being clueless when a joke flies over his head, made to say things in english ALL THE TIME, just all that. it really gets on his nerves bc nowadays he just wants to blend in and they’re not making it any better!!!

it may sound confusing but basically: as a teen he rejected his korean identity to blend in with everyone in florida, now he’s in korea and wants to be known as less of an american to blend it. it all comes down to him wanting to be like everyone else is nearly every aspect!! 

since he feels like he cheated & got to debut way too easy than some others, he’s been trying to develop his creative and performance skills so he can get more credit and make a name for himself due to his actual abilities rather than just,, him being american lmao!! also trying super super hard to get as good as he can at korean

tw: drug and alcohol addiction!

he still has some trouble getting around & he still feels lost, but he’s trying his best. struggling through his alcohol addiction, which bc is mildly aware about but really trying to keep quiet and he’s been on the verge of leaving more than a few times. but as quiet as he is about it, he really relies on his members a lot to keep himself afloat!! so he appreciates them putting through his shit a lot of the time more than he'll admit.

 tw: drug and alcohol addiction! - end

but rn he’s getting better, slightly, focusing more of his energy into music than anything. he really wants to get into the songwriting industry to get a name for himself on his own instead of just being known for impulse!!

just  as a fyi since it’s a bit confusing his birth name is daein, he went by devin when he lived in america, but he goes by daein again now that he’s in korea, but his stage name is still devin and that’s what his friends from america call him. he prefers to be called daein nowadays, though, so that’s probably the safest best!

also this has not been short at all but anyways

hawaii plots!

he likes to drink & get high way too much and what better place than to do that then on vacation?? he’s been trying to stop, but look, it’s vacation and he’s unwinding and if your muse is down they can both have fun!!

such. an. introvert. even more than micha, because 80% of his interactions by choice come from his group?? but i would love to get him some new friends (especially since he literally has none right now lol)

he’s a bit of a hoe ngl so!! hookups are accepted, that’s the one time he’s not afraid of striking up conversation!!

he’s in the red team so like micha, if you’re members in the red team he could use some buddies to be with!!

someone to explore the island with during the night!

general plots!

he lives in an apartment my himself atm, but a roommate would be lovely!! he needs someone to put him out of his funk, anyways. 

drinking buddies ofc

trainee friends? someone who wasn’t put off by him being super quiet and befriended it and he’s super grateful nowadays? 

give me all the angst & romance because he’s a handful, seriously, phew

besties!! someone that makes him soft and happy bc there are few people who make him super happy & excited, so someone fill in the gap!

[jeonheejin-remade]

(1/2) i understand bbc wanting to get like as much money as possible and while i'd like for them to livestream/post videos/etc. of the events like as soon as digital copies get involved then the stuff becomes v easy to pirate/distribute to ppl who havent paid and bbc rlly needs to get their money back lmao. also the fact that like loona is a korean group so obv promoting/having events in koreas gonna be the priority. theyre already going above and beyond by subbing all loona tv eps for us

(i lied its 2/3) and also making sure all their captions/descriptions on youtube and ig are translated in english, etc. and i get that international fans are contributing a lot to loona's popularity but at the same time like we're rlly not entitled to much bc again theyre a korean group their objective is gonna be korea. like along this sort of line of thinking itd be like for p much all groups korean fans get way more access to fanmeetings/live performances than international fans

(im a liar! 3/4) but also that all being said personally i dont like the idea of having tons of exclusive content u have to pay for bc like the logic is that if ppl truly stan a group theyll make time to go to the event/shell out the money tho thats like.. just not how the world works and there are a lot of other factors that go into who can access these kind of things BUT in this capitalist shithole of a world i guess its one of the best ways for bbc to get their money back bc they spent a lot 

(4/4 for real now) but also at the same time like in a way i feel like it still doesnt quite make sense for bbc to do that rn bc like loona still isnt super well known so tbh publicly releasing all this esp the world-building/loonaverse content would be better for like attracting new fans and making loona gain popularity imo. so i guess im fine w the events happening but i wish bbc would release the videos they show. also lmao srry i didnt realize i had so many thoughts this is an essay now oops

i needed like 10 minutes to read this but i absolutely agree because this mirrors a lot of what i was thinking too... like you said it makes total sense for them to have important stuff happen in korea just like any other kpop group but at the same time with loona the stuff that happens is a little bit more monumental (everything that happens w loona is monumental tbh) because theres international fans who’ve been here since heejin and i guess having the first ot12 event and the debut concert both in an exclusive kind of space is a bit of a let down but bbc really don’t have any other choice? 

loona arent that well known as of yet but there’s already so much going on with them.. bbc were recording line & up for sure but i guess it makes sense to release the copies of it much much later so that they can get their money back i suppose?? it just feels as though a lot of people are excluded from the whole ~loonaverse~ thing which they’re so evidently trying to push (i mean did you read jaden jeongs whole interview thing that was a LOT) when a lot of the theories on twitter are based on those 144p leaked videos which have sparked a lot of interest so yeah i just dont know what they’re trying to do but i trust them and hopefully they release some of the stuff soon! (like they basically released the yyxy thing they showed at line and up busan so)

bbc did spend a lot and yes they do the Most for int fans with the subs and translations and i think thats really good of them bc it makes it a lot easier to gain int fans so i think thats great !

[huntypastellance]

hi its me @keithkog on twitter and since you so conveniently forget to mention all the times i’ve apologized and when i deleted the video or any of my explanation, let me tell you about it. there was no excuse for me to post videos without the parent’s consent. that i agree with. it was stupid and wrong, and i genuinely regret that. once i realized my mistake, i deleted the videos. there is NO EXCUSE FOR THAT. but the “sexual assault” thing was unprompted. i never talked about that with her (1/)

and i also never said anything about it. obviously she doesn’t know what that means, since as an anti i still dont think “sexual assault” is a correct term for sheith, its more statutory rape if you’re going to put it into that category w the age of consent. but of course she wouldn’t understand that, and i only laughed in the video bc i was taken aback by her knowledge of that word. regardless, i didn’t press the issue further because you’re right, i have no right to talk about that with a (2/)

a child im babysitting. so i just left it at that. look, i understand if you’re upset by it because you’re a shaladin but you’re making me seem like some huge monster. voltron is literally made for kids their age, and the term “force” was a joke. we’ve watched it together before, and they only protested bc they’re stubborn but they actually rlly enjoyed it after i showed them more. the point i was making about them being mature was in response to someone saying “she’s only 9 she shouldn’t be(3/)

watching voltron” which i disagreed with because both of the girls are mature for their age and can understand it. the only reason they thought it was confusing was bc when we watched episode 1 we were making cookies and they werent paying attention the whole time. i would appreciate if you would take down your posts or at least remove some things because in no way did i force them to talk about sex or bring it up in the first place. thank you.

ps, you have no proof that i fed anyone lines about sexual assault and i promise you i DID NOT. the kid’s parents let them watch a lot of older shows and they have older sibblings and thats how they know about it im guessing. i was surprised to but please don’t accuse me of feeding them lines about sexual assault because thats absolutely disgusting and you have no proof of that

do you exist purely to ignore people’s apologies? Bc my friend the one y'all keep talking about from Twitter, yeah she’s apologized multiple times so could y'all maybe just leave her alone? Bc she had literally 0 intentions for what happened to happen and the fact you all ignore her constant apologies here y'all are being petty and I’m honestly sick of it. Grow the FUCK up y'all she’s a minor too CHRIST. You think it’s ok to harass a minor? Bc if so y'all are even worse than my abuser lmao :/ 

Okay, I’m going to answer this seriously & without the whole “We, the Great & Glorious Lord Pastel Lance” schtick even though I don’t think you actually deserve it. I’m just trying to prove my point here.

> If you were so shocked that a 9 year old said the phrase “sexual assault”, why did you POST IT ONLINE AS A VIDEO TWEET?

>Oh boohoo, you took it down. What, do you want a gold star for that? Well newsflash asshole, if you had bothered to read through my post, you’d know that someone archived your entire tweet thread before you took down the videos. So now there are PERMANENT screenshots of the kids’ faces that were put online WITHOUT PARENTAL PERMISSION because of YOU, you illiterate jackass.

> Why would you EVER laugh at a child, who you’ve claimed to know & babysat for YEARS, having ANY knowledge of what sexual assault is?

> Nice try deflecting dumbass, I’m a Klance shipper AND a Sheith shipper, not just some gross shallie.

> Again, you don’t MAKE kids like the stuff you like. My brothers don’t like Ben 10 after the first 5 minutes of showing them it, (& without me trying to convince them by telling them that gets “really good” later & spoiling shit for them), so I switch the channel to Paw Patrol or search up a Youtube about Minecraft for them instead. I don’t MAKE them continue to marathon Ben 10 with me. You are a shit babysitter.

> Why do you keep suddenly being surprised when people get mad at your own freaking words when you are the one leaving out information & context? 

> It’s still really creepy that you keep saying that the kids are “mature for their age”. That’s literally fucking pedo logic right there, I don’t care about the fucking context, that’s a skeevy thing to say about kids.

> Seriously, what the fuck is stopping you from using the phrase “they’re old enough to watch Voltron, see the TV rating for it?” That is literally so much less creepier.

> You can’t just fucking ASSUME that the kids learned the phrase “sexual assault” from watching TV shows for older kids! That is something you NEED to tell the parents about!

> And you’re not even worried about those older siblings casually talking about sexual assault in front of their baby siblings? At all? Bitch, there are some things that SHOULDN’T be talked about in front of kids!!

> Well, you’re right in that I don’t have actual proof. But given how you & your friends constantly lie & refuse to provide any proof, I don’t give a shit. At this rate, a freaking ANON comment is more trustworthy than your own words.

> Her apologies don’t mean SHIT because as I’ve pointed out before: they’re not real apologies. There was no notion to make amends, to promise to not do the same thing again, etc. Her apologies are HOLLOW. And, frankly, so are your’s. Especially with your friends commenting below about the “nasty shallies” forcing you to apologize. You didn’t “TECHNICALLY” do something wrong, you ACTUALLY did something wrong & fucking illegal, jackass!

> I don’t give a shit if she or you are minors. That doesn’t fucking excuse your behavior. You both can still be arrested or legally punished for this kind of crap.

> When you say shit like that, that I, some random asshole on the Internet documenting your own freaking words, am WORSE than your abuser…..

that just proves to me that you’ve never actually been abused before.

That you don’t give a shit about real abuse & don’t know what it’s like.

No abuse victim would ever make such a flippant comparison to their trauma like that.

You’re the one who’s sick here, not me.

Disclaimer: This response is entirely the opinion of Lord Pastel Lance & NOT of anyone else. Just me. If you have problems with it, criticize me, not other people.

[jejublr]

Seatmate!Hoshi

A/N: Anon and Cinderella Anon requested for Seatmate!Hoshi this time! I’m sorry I haven’t been updating bc of school but I have my drafts saved so don’t worry! I’m still writing! To those who are back at school, I hope you guys are doing great! To those still on summer vacation (and to all of you in general): STAY HYDRATED!!!

This one was really fun to write because, let’s be honest, Kwon Soonyoung is everybody’s bias wrecker. Even if you don’t have him as a bias, he’s somewhere lurking on the top of your bias lists don’t lie to me. This one’s a long one so I hope you all enjoy and have a great day~! ^^

How do I start with this guy

Calls himself 10:10 because of his slanted eyes cute

This kid is also pretty hyper ok

Once got into detention because he randomly stood up on his desk in the middle of a lesson to shout “IT’S 10:10″ when the clock strikes 

Often has random dance offs with Junior!Seokmin and it’s the most hilarious thing to watch

Has a lot of friends from every grade because he’s so fun to be around

Cares a lot about his underclassmen and is the one of the nicest upperclassmen around

Everybody knows Soonyoung’s really good at dancing

And I mean, real good

He even has his own YouTube channel NaegaHosh where he dances his own choreos to pop songs

Most people at school follows him and even the teachers stalk his videos lol

Soonyoung is basically in everyone’s good book

Well, everyone’s but yours

You see, you’re childhood rivals

You can say you’re a pretty chill person

You have your own group of friends you usually hang out with but you’re on good terms with people in general

Nobody can deny that you’re an equally talented dancer

You may have a different style from Soonyoung but your dancing is just as captivating as his

While Soonyoung’s style is leaning towards breakdance, you style leans towards contemporary ballet

And it gets pretty heated and entertaining to see you both try out-do each other during the end of year talent shows

For few years in a row, the winner would either be you or Soonyoung

Usually you guys take turns

People are so tired of it tbh

“Just kiss already.”

Your friends like to tease you that your resentment is just internalized crush

But you’re in deniaaallll /guitar rift/

Anyways, you decided early on into the year that you will beat Soonyoung once and for all by winning for the second consecutive year

The story starts in the early morning of your Junior year in high school

So the system in your school was they always pick people randomly to be put into a new class every year

So you can be friends with everyone

And guess what? 

You’re in Soonyoung’s class

For the second consecutive year

People were groaning internally because here we go again

Being in the same class with you both was like being in a real-life drama

Because everybody knows you’re childhood rivals

And imagine the tension of sitting behind two people who are always ready to rip each other to shreds

The teacher was aware of this and tired of this s*** so she decided to sit you guys together this year

What was she thinking lmao

You guys might wonder the backstory behind this age-long rivalry

It began once upon a kindergarten

You never really had any beef with Soonyoung

He’s pretty hyper as a kid; got his hair stuck up everywhere and always the one to break it down on the ol’ kindergarten dance floor

Ok dark secret here; but you had a crush on Soonyoung back then bc he reminds you so much of your hamster Cici omggg

You let him steal your sandwich and borrow your color pencil during art as a result of this crush

This crush went on until that time in second grade when your school held Nutcracker 

And he totally stole your role as the Nutcracker bc you were sick during the dress rehearsal

By the time you got better the night before the show, they had given the role to Soonyoung

So you got stuck playing a candy cane tragic

IMAGINE THE BETRAYAL

That night marked the day you got your first heartbreak and sworn to make Kwon Soonyoung pay one day

Yeah, you’re a pretty dramatic bitter child and you continue to carry that bitterness up till this day

Anyways

It’s that time of the year again

Tension is in the air, looks shared between people

It’s the annual talent show

People are sharing nervous glances bc when are they finally gonna lose it

And by “they”, they meant you and Soonyoung

When you saw the form pinned on the bulletin board this morning, you never wrote your name faster

But guess what? By lunchtime, Soonyoung already had his name scribbled under yours

It’s officially on

“Watch your back, Kwon.”

“Good luck.”

Funnily, you were both dragged into the principal’s office by the time school’s out

“This year, you won’t be participating” the principal said

“What.”

“People are getting discouraged signing up for the auditions bc they know that in the end, the winner would only be between the both of you. That’s why I decided to remove you both from the competition this year.

“And no, Soonyoung, if you think you’re entitled just because your internet name Hoshi means star, you can find your way out.”

You were about to snicker when she went “Y/N, you will not find it funny when I tell you that you two will work together to create and perform a dance to be showcased during the talentshow. While you’re not participating, you and Soonyoung both

You went 0_0 w hat

“I’m not going to work with them!” both you and Sonyoung said in unison

The teacher was like “lmao get over it kids, it’s 2K17″ and then sauntered off like a bo$$

You realized you didn’t have a choice but to do as she said to be able to perform this year

And you see no point to arguing

So you both begrudgingly agreed to do the collab

At first, you and Soonyoung wouldn’t meet in the middle

You try to find faults in each other’s dancing, to 

You ended up trying to sabotage yourselves

Also, you still didn't have the right music to dance with so you and Soonyoung were a complete wreck

Also bc you kept arguing which song to pick smh

It came to a point that one day, Soonyoung went up to Senior!Jihoon 

“Hey, can you whip up some swaggy beats for my performance for the talent show?”

“Tell me a reason why I shouldn’t hit you with a guitar right now.”

“I’ll buy you a burger.”

“I can buy a burger.”

“I’ll buy you a hundred burgers.”

“Deal.”

So that’s how Soonyoung had gotten himself the perfect remix for the dance the next Monday

When you listened to it for the first time, you knew, it’s perfect

Because somehow, Jihoon was able to mesh songs to create one that would work perfectly with you and Soonyoung’s style

And so you two began to work

And you couldn’t help but observe Soonyoung as he worked 

Because you’ve never seen someone do something so passionately

Soonyoung gave his all in his dance and it’s something everybody can see

Watching Soonyoung work his magic woke up something in you

Funnily, you don’t feel intimidated at all

For once, you embraced the fact that you now work with Soonyoung, not against him

So you ended up enjoying it a bit

So you’re finally done with the last steps of planning the choreography

It’s time for you to test it out for yourselves

So you played the music and danced

And you both had gotten so wrapped up in the music and with each other that when the music ended in a crescendo, you suddenly found yourself tangled in his arms

And you were so close in each others arms and he could see the specks in your eyes and suddenly he could feel his breath hitch 

Because Oh no, you’re actually really attractive. How could he not see this?

And all of the sudden, he became hyper aware of how close you both are, his hands on your hips and your warm breaths mingling

It wasn’t until you pulled away that he went woah

Because what was that???

You on the other hand

You tried to play it cool, but inside?? 

You can’t deny you and Soonyoung have a tension chemistry 

But God forbid if your age-old crush was revived 

You thought it was the time you spent together that drew you closer

I mean, you meet the guy in class then spend the rest of the afternoon choreographing and dancing with him

You’d expect yourself to be at each other’s throats 

But you grew comfortable with his presence???

It’s like you started to care about each other

You never really showed it but it’s there

Like that time it was raining by the time you both finished

You had forgotten to bring your umbrella and he basically forced you to use his instead as he dove right into the rain

(The next day you gave it back to him with a small thank you note slipped inside)

He thought it was cute

And that other time when you noticed he looked rather pale and tired

So when you went to the convenient store near the school on your break, you bought him an extra carton of milk and bread

He looked confused as heck when you gave it to him

“I don’t want you to collapse a week before the show, Kwon.”

You totally didn’t blush

You also noticed the change in Soonyoung’s behavior 

When you caught him starring at you in class one day, you were like “What are you looking at, nerd?”

He said “Your hair looks nice today.”

“My hair looks nice everyday, thank.”

And while he didn't say anything in return, you swear you heard him whisper “Yeah it does.”

It’s so confusing bc what’s happening? Why is he suddenly like this? Does he..like me????

And while it’s a nice change from having to bicker everyday, you started to wonder what happened that triggered this change

Bc this is not the standard Soonyoung behavior

Also maybe bc you miss the bickering a little bit

But practice went on like usual

Before you know it, it’s the day of the show

Everyone’s freaking out

And you were too bc this reminded you too much of the first time you performed on stage

The adrenaline and the nervousness coiled in your stomach like a snake strangling its prey

In a way, this does count as your first dance

Your first time dancing with a partner

Your heart skipped a bit when you saw him in the dressing room, made up and dressed in all black

And you stopped in your track bc he looked good

You missed the look he gave you as he scanned you head to toe

He had to stop himself from blushing bc oh my god it’s happening, he’s going to dance with this attractive person

He must’ve sensed your nervousness bc he turned to you

“Hey, don’t sweat it. You’ll do great. I promise.”

Those little words gave you a boost

You can say it’s like his way of saying “good luck”

But who needs luck when you got Kwon Soonyoung amirite

The stage dimmed and it’s just Soonyoung and you and the music

Your body seemed to move on its own, giving up all control to muscle memory and to Soonyoung

You memorized the routine like the back of your hand

Soonyoung’s touches and your eyes teasing, almost sensual, writing a story only the two of you knew

And to say that you wow-ed the audience was an understatement

You bombed the place

You were so in tune with both the song and with each other that what was supposed to be a three-minute dance felt like mere seconds

Before you know it, the song was over, you’re in his arms and you’re both breathing hard

It just felt..fleeting

The show was easily a success

Nobody thought you would work so well together after all those years of rivalry

But it just proves how two great dancers could overcome boundaries if they had enough will

Your friends and family crowded you when the show was over,

They went to congratulate you and tell you how amazing the performance was

But you could only think about Soonyoung

You wanted to thank him for the hard work he’s put into the performance and for all the times he took care of you

You tried to swallow the sinking feeling realizing that it’s over now

You’ll go back to your live before the dance and he’ll go back to his

As the tension was revolved by the time you spent working together on the dance, you knew there was no more reason for you to start something against him

Because you’ve grown so accustomed to him, and him to you

It’s like a routine you couldn’t shake off

It was at that moment that you realized you liked having Soonyoung around

Speaking of Soonyoung

You found him propped up on the edge of the stage, the lights from the projector up in the projector room far ahead in the the auditorium casting white light on him, his silhouette a giant background on the stage

Your silhouette joined his as you plopped down next to him

“What are you doing?” you asked him

“I like sitting along in a theater like this. Makes you feel small.”

“I had fun” you admitted

His lips quirked into a lopsided smile, his bunny teeth showing

“I had fun, too.”

You joined in as you took in the view

How the place seems so vast with the empty red velvet seats

“Hey, Y/N.. about that Nutcracker incident?” Soonyoung started

“What about it?”

“Can I pay you back with a kiss??”

FFFF WOT

And you expected him to suddenly say “SIKE.” and for someone to jump out of the curtains with a camera but it didn’t come

Instead, Soonyoung was looking at you with what seems to be apprehensiveness 

And the realization hit you like a truck

Bc he literally just asked you if he could kiss you to make up to all that childhood bitterness

At this point, Soonyoung looked ready to apologize and disappear from the face of the earth but before anything

You dove in like a hawk

You didn’t know what to expect when your lips finally locked but the kiss was chaste, almost shy even

The kiss felt like your dance; brief, fleeting, teasing

But it brought a certain fulfillment in your heart

When you pulled away, Soonyoung’s cheeks were colored red and he couldn’t stop smiling

“Oh. Oh.”

“What??” you feel yourself heat up in embarrassment 

“...Can I kiss you again??”

“Oh my god.”

So at the end of that night, Soonyoung walked you home, with your pasts melting off like candy with every step that you take and laughter that you shared

And in the end, the kid who once stole your sandwich and role in that grade school musical ended stealing your heart, too

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #292

“dear god, let’s make this fucking clear: dear god, there’s nothing that i fear”

What internet browser do you use? Chrome. What brand water do you drink? (Smart Water, Dasani, etc) Mom just grabs the Great Value jugs. Do you have a job? No. Are you full-time or part-time? N/A Are you watching TV right now? No. Or are you listening to music? Yeah, "Mr. Crowley" by Ozzy. Such a great song. Would you go to jail for 3 years for $1,000,000? No. I would NOT survive in jail. When's your birthday? February 5th. I cannot fucking believe I'm almost 25. Thoughts on kids? Too impressionable for me. Even with my niece and nephew, I feel like every single word I say just like... stamps into their brains, and what if I say something that negatively affects them? I feel like it's my responsibility as an aunt to be a fountain of wisdom when I'm definitely not. I just get nervous around kids. Worst punishment you've ever received by your parents? I wouldn't call it a "punishment," but when I skinned the everliving fuck out of my knees and Mom was patching me up while I was just sobbing away, my dad literally roared "SHUT UP!" from my parents' bedroom, and it's stuck with me forever. Honestly, I think it may be a root in my extreme fear of men yelling. Worst punishment from Mom, probably this time where she smacked the shit outta my arm as a kid and left a clear handprint for a while. Are you the type who is completely against abortion? Why? No, I am firmly pro-choice, despite being pro-life most of my life. I don't feel like writing a moral essay, but basically, I absolutely cannot agree with forcing a woman to carry a human they don't want for whatever reason for nine fucking months, endure one of the most traumatically painful things known to man, and then properly and adequately care for that child. That is such a huge fucking responsibility that should be forced upon *nobody*. "But adoption!" Yeah, go tell that to the thousands of children waiting on you. This is leaning on exactly what I said I wouldn't do, so moving along. Have you ever read a book that actually changed your outlook on life? "I’ve read some books that were phenomenal, but I wouldn’t necessarily go so far as to say that they 'changed my outlook on life'." <<<< This was Johnny Got His Gun for me. Does your favorite flower hold any meaning to you? No. What would you do if your favorite animal became endangered? I would fucking freak. Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette? No, but I honestly do want at least one, primarily with a deep black and then some nice grays and neutral colors. Do you own a tripod for your camera? Yes. Are your nails always painted? Quite the opposite. What's one thing you've had a toxic reaction to? A breakup. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? I honestly don't really decorate because I just don't have the motivation, but Halloween is the best. Were you popular in school? Nope. Are there any foods that often give you heartburn or indigestion? BANANAS, dark sodas (like Coke or Dr. Pepper), peanut butter can... It's hard for me to tell much now because I have chronic heartburn and am medicated for it. Works great, so I don't experience this much. Is there something you intend to buy in the near future? Yes. Once my tattoo is done (I'm setting the appointment the next time we leave the house, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH), what I have left is going towards Venus' new terrarium. She really needs a 40 gallon. Is anyone in your family artistically talented? What about musically? I was the art kid, and family still insist I should be an artist. What cute behaviors or characteristics does/do your pet(s) have? Omg, Roman has so many. He nuzzles me all the time, will collapse into my hand to pet him, he insists on being the little spoon at bedtime (no, really), he literally tries to groom me with his teeth, licks my face... He is just a doll. My little buddy for sure. Now onto Venus. She loves to chill next to me in bed or find a cozy place under the covers, and omgggg does she love to slither around the bed doing the periscope thing. So curious. What's the screensaver on your computer? I don't have one. What’s the sexiest thing about a guy? I am WEAK for nice shoulderblades/muscular shoulders ok. What’s the sexiest thing about a girl? I am an ass bitch and I will not hesitate to admit it ayyyyyeeeee. Who were you with at midnight on January 1, 2021? Nobody. Who was the last person to send you a message on social media? My sister Misty. She's planning to surprise Mom (her stepmom, anyway) by showing up in a few weeks with her fiance and all her kids she's never met but desperately wants to. My mom is the only "real mom" she's ever had, and she just feels so bad that she has a by now teenage daughter (among three other younger ones) that has never met her "grandmother." It's just an expensive and long trip, but Misty's finally called it enough and is just driving down here with everyone. Mom is going to fucking sob. ^ What qualities does this person have, that you appreciate? Nice timing for this, since her fiercely anti-mask bullshit is all I can focus on about her lately... but there are good things about her. She truly is a very loving, passionate woman that, just like me, feels deeply and expresses it. What was the last thing that caused you to scowl, or frown? Does grimacing count from a sudden bodily pain? Have you smiled at any point during the last hour? Yeah. I'm watching the VOD of Arin Hanson playing Kingdom Hearts 2 for charity, and he went on a total fucking laughing fit. His laugh is so precious, so I just couldn't stop grinning. What was the last thing you consulted Google for? Ensuring "grimace" was the right word for my former expression, even though I was pretty positive it was correct... I don't know if anyone's noticed, but my English skills are degrading, particularly in spelling. It's concerning me. I was an English whiz my whole life up to now. My only guess is it's related to how godawful my memory is also declining. So, did anyone send you a "Happy New Year" message when midnight hit? No. When was the last time you were on a carousel? Probably not since I was a teenager being goofy with Jason or somebody. What is the closest you have ever been to an elephant? I have a picture on my dA of a beautiful elephant walking RIGHT by its fence at the zoo. It was pretty amazing, considering just how incredibly immense their enclosure is. Have you ever played Halo? No, it's not my kinda game. Have you ever read a National Geographic magazine? Oh, I'm positive I've read sections while in waiting rooms of various places. When was the last time you had a pillow fight? I have no idea. Realistically it was probably w/ Jason since that sounds like some cute playfighting thing we'd do, but I don't remember a particular instance. Name somebody who you think deserves more respect: "Retail works. The horror stories my mom has on the daily is absolutely ridiculous. People can be so incredibly rude." <<<< I absolutely agree with this; what friends and strangers alike rant about is just depressing. Nobody, especially those working through a goddamn pandemic that's killing thousands, deserves the disrespect that comes their way. Have some goddamn decency and know half the issues you bring up to retail workers isn't even their damn fault. Ohhhh, I could rant about this. In your own words, define what the word sexy means. So you mean like, what I think is considered sexy, not just the general definition? If that's the case, uhhh. Self-confidence (but absolutely not arrogance) is very attractive to me as a bitch who lacks it entirely, as well as good manners, being outgoing, and just... charm. I don't quite know how to describe that "charm" other than I'm really drawn to people who are unique and happy with it and just seem to have an aura about them that feels good to be in. What is the most popular tourist attraction where you live? I'm going to look at this question as if you're asking about my state and not general location because 1.) there ain't shit here and 2.) I'd prefer to keep relatively where I live quiet on the Internet. Looked it up and apparently NC's biggest tourist bait is the Biltmore Estate. Never been there myself, but it'd be pretty dope. Without looking - do you know what brand your underwear is? I'm in my own home and pjs, who the fuck wears underwear with that criteria lmao. Are you any good at volleyball? NOOOOOOOOO. I went to a volleyball camp thing once when I was younger and that shit hurts the hell outta your hands. I didn't stay long. Have you ever had a water balloon fight? Why of course. Do you think some babies are ugly? Quite honestly, probably most, especially newborns. Don’t you miss Chuck E. Cheese? I do; going there was one of the most exciting possible things to me as a kiddo. Do you think Fall Out Boy is gonna be a classic band, like Queen or AC/DC? Possibly. I mean they sure are pretty successful and well-known. Do you love stuff-crusted pizza? Eh, it's not my preference, but I'll eat it. Do you apply lotion after you bathe? No, but I really should, given how dry my skin is. What’s your favorite color? Pastel pink. Who did you have your most amazing kiss with? I'd like to not think about this. Has a YouTube video of yours ever gotten over 10,000 views? Lol definitely not. I think at least one on my older channel hit 1k somehow???? It was a birthday gift I made for someone. Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? lol I already have one there. At some point I'm getting it covered, though. Do you like Robert Frost poems? I do! Do you go to church every Sunday? I never do. Have you ever been in a relationship on-and-off for more than a year? No, I don't play that game. You want me or you don't, so I'm not wasting my time on your uncertainty or just our lack of stability for whatever reason. If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Absolutely writing. What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? ?????????????????? i don't?????????????? care???????????????? they're not my tits??????????????? What is the last thing you tried on in a store? I don't know. I avoid trying shit on like the plague. And then it ends up being too big/small. I wonder why. Is sleeping naked more comfortable than in clothes? I've only ever fallen asleep naked once, and accidentally at that, so I really don't remember how I felt about it? Consciously though, I would feel very, very vulnerable so don't have plans to when I have my own place. Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone? HAHAHA Y'AAAAAALLLLLLL THIS WAS DEADASS THE ONLY LUCID DREAM I'VE EVER HAD LMAOOOOO Do you feel as though you have a good memory, or are you forgetful at times? Do you feel that your short-term memory or long-term memory is better? My short-term memory is absolutely atrocious, like to the point it seriously affects my ability to get shit done. You can give me something that needs to be done and I will forget in a heartbeat. Now, my long-term memory is astonishing. I can remember many things from my childhood in incredible detail. Have you ever had a concussion or some other sort of brain injury before? Did you need to have surgery for it? I've had a concussion or two. I can't remember which. I didn't need surgery. Do you have any sort of mental illnesses or disorders? What do they involve? Yeah: chronic depression, crippling social anxiety, generalized anxiety, avoidant personality disorder (AvPD), obsessive compulsive disorder, PTSD, bipolar II, and I think that's it. My head's a mess and a half. What’s the longest that your hair has ever been? How about the shortest? When is the last time that you got it cut? About to the small of my back; how it is now, which is pretty much shaved on the left and fades to near my chin on the right. I actually got it cut last month; we've gone to a family friend for years whose shop is just an extra building by her house and very rarely has more than two clients in it. We had masks on, of course. At what age did you start getting gray hairs, if you happen to have any? I don't have any. Somehow, given my stress level at all times, haha. What are some ways that you style your hair? Do you use any sorts of products in it? It's too short to style. I don't use any products in it but obviously shampoo. Who was the last person to truly get on your nerves? What do you think caused you to feel that way? Probably my mom. I think she was in a rotten mood for one reason or another and just being snappy and generally rude. Do you recycle? Is this through choice or do you live somewhere where it’s compulsory? We do; it's by choice, and it'd be immensely ignorant not to where we live considering it literally gets picked up with the other garbage. Do you prefer plain, carbonated, or flavored water? Do you think you drink enough water throughout the day? I've never tried carbonated water, and flavored water rarely works for me due to artificial sweeteners giving me beastly headaches. So I'll just take really cold, filtered water. Have you ever needed to call the police, ambulance, or fire department? I had to call the ambulance for my mom right before her cancer was discovered because she was literally immobile and in ungodly pain. When was the last time you visited the library? What was the purpose of your visit? At my old college, as the newspaper photographer, I took some artsy pics up there. I will probably forever worry that leaving school resulted in the biggest career opportunity slipping through my fingers through that newspaper. Do you see a lot of wild animals where you live? Are any of them dangerous? I guess about the normal amount you'd see in the country. Some dangerous animals live here, sure, that's probably everywhere, but you very rarely see any. Aside from when you were born, have you ever had to stay the night in the hospital? For suicidal thoughts and one attempt, yes. Have you ever experienced a panic attack? Ahhhh, do I know those well. Thankfully, it's been a long time since I had an all-out panic attack. Would you ever want to go into the medical profession? Was your answer different pre-COVID? Nope. Well, besides being a vet, which I haven't wanted to be since I was a kid. Where you live, are people paying attention to whatever restrictions are in place to help control COVID? Many? No. Because it's apparently a fuckin hoax or not as bad as the government wants us to think. Fucking cretins. Do you get a real or artificial Christmas tree? Artificial. Real ones aren't worth the money nor mess. What’s your favourite type/flavor of popcorn? Caramel corn. Do you drink oat milk? No, but I'm interested in at least trying it. The dairy industry is absolutely repulsive if you look into it, and I'd love to do what I can to take as little part in it as possible... even though I am a dairy fiend. I seriously wish I could go vegan, I am just WAY too picky for it. Do you love thrifting? Oh fuck yes. I've been very few times in my life, but I'mm all about it. Do you consider using only lowercase letters your aesthetic? I do find it visually appealing; I like the flow of similar letter height. I never do it for "serious" things, but on places where it's "for the aesthetic," it's likely that's how I'll write something. Do you say “mood?” Way too much lmao. Do you own fairy lights? No, though I would like them if it wouldn't look stupid in my room. Do you own glass straws because the metal ones kind of gross you out because you can’t tell if they are clean or not? ... I didn't know glass straws were a thing. I have a handful of metal ones though, but I always forget I have one in my purse when I go out... Have you made a TikTok? No. Do you own airpods? No. Are you afraid of Mercury in retrograde? I don't believe in a planet's position or whatever having any effect on people. Do you make life choices based on astrology? Definitely not, considering I don't believe in it to begin with. How many pairs of converse shoes do you own? Maybe like, five? Number of jeans in your closet: Zero. What accent do you have? Not really any, but sometimes I sound kinda southern with specific words. Do you have a big butt? Yo I got a Hank Hill ass, so no. Do you count how long you and your gf/bf have been together? In my past relationships, yes, I assigned our anniversary to memory. I don't really... know why, like it doesn't really matter how long you've been together, I just do. Have you graduated? From HS, yes. I dropped out of college three times lmao. Rihanna or Lady GaGa? Ohhh, not sure. Maybe GaGa, but both ladies have songs I love. "Disturbia" doess beat all of her songs, tho. The fuckin BEAT. Do you use fake eyelashes? Never tried 'em. Which was the last book that really captivated you? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. What makeup brands do you use? I'm not loyal to any, really. I would be if I could afford expensive shit, but yeah, that ain't my life.