#also i may have streamed neon brother more than the man comes around this year but i have the man comes around on vinyl

[rithmeres]

[mpmwrites]

Tiffany Blue

Heeey it’s Trashboi’s birthday! (Fun fact, also my little brother’s birthday). I’m still working on my otpnsfwchallenge fic, but here's some birthday fluff! T for language!

He wasn't upset. Because, yeah, it was his 37th birthday, and it wasn't like he'd done anything about it for the past few years other than getting coffee and letting Tina pay for it as a gift. Not to mention, he and Hank did have plans to go out later that night. So he just…stewed. Picked through paperwork and watched the clock until it was finally time to leave. When six finally rolled around he hauled himself out of his chair almost before the digits on the clock turned.

We getting dinner? He reached out to Hank, who'd left work an hour before, as he headed out of the building. It was raining, and he pulled up his hood as he headed to the bus stop. He tucked himself under the awning and dropped to the bench as his phone let out the 'meow' text alert he'd downloaded.

Change of plans.

I was gonna take you out but I figured we should stay in instead, just us. Gavin sighed in the damp loneliness of the bus station, the sound of traffic making a dreary kind of white noise.

And Connor. And Rafe. He wasn't trying to come across as petulant, but he was disappointed. He thought they were going to go to the bar and drink Hank's bank account dry and eat too-greasy pizza. He'd fantasized about giggling on the Uber home and sloppily having his way with Hank in the privacy of his apartment. Instead, he got beers on the couch and had to spend his time in Hank's bed feeling self-conscious because of the two androids that now lived there too. And Sumo.

Didn't I say just us?

Sumo will be there, tho. Droids going out. The bus's tires washed a puddle over the curb that soaked into Gavin's shoes. He boarded the bus, hunching against the rain briefly and flashing his city bus card as he passed the driver. He collapsed into a seat near the center of the bus, as not to let the air conditioner make him feel worse. He pulled his phone back out and stared at the unanswered text. Part of him wanted to pout and get Hank to do what he wanted, but the intelligent part of him knew that Hank probably had a reason for the change. As he mused, another text arrived. Gonna order chinese from that place you like.

Alright Gavin answered plainly, When do you want me there?

1.5hrs. 730?

K

Once home, Gavin dropped his wet shoes into the bathroom to dry out on the tile and shucked his clothes. He mused on a shower, but the rain traffic made the bus take long enough that he doubted he'd have time. If he was going to be sitting at Hank's all night, he was at least going to take advantage of the lack of intruding androids. He dug in the drawer for a pair of his tighter jeans and then another drawer for a tee that proudly barked "Gay AF" in rainbow letters. He stuffed his backpack with his toothbrush and a change of clothes for work the next day and grimaced as he put his dry socks into his squishy shoes; he needed them for work tomorrow, so he'd have to let them dry at Hank's.

Thankfully, the rain faded as he rode the bus to Hank's street. The station was about three blocks away from Hank's place. He hopped over puddles, letting his irritation evaporate as he ambled down the sidewalk. He took a final deep breath and didn't bother to knock before letting himself in, "Hey sorry I took so long, the--"

"Happy Birthday!" Connor and Hank were yelling, Rafe sounded like he was being forced into the festivity. The three stood in the kitchen with Sumo laying in the corner. Connor sat at the kitchen table, seemingly waiting; Hank was holding a chocolate-iced cake with lit candles on top; Rafe stood by the sink with an apron on, looking annoyed at the pile of dishes. Sumo's tail thumped against the linoleum at the sudden excitement. The room was bathed in warm light, the smell of the cake surrounding the five of them. Gavin approached and received a warm kiss on the cheek as Hank held the fire hazard away from him; the cake had a full 37 candles on it and many of the flames had merged together into larger flames. Gavin thought it may be a possibility that the fire alarm was going to go off. Even so, he was pretty sure he was blushing at the attention.

"Cancelled our date to set your house on fire instead? I mean, arson isn't exactly my kink, but if--"

"Just blow out the damn candles, Gav." Hank cut him off. The smaller man did as told, blowing hard. Most of them went out, some did not, and they re-ignited the others. Gavin couldn't help but laugh as Hank leaned in to help. With several breaths they were all extinguished and released small streams of smoke into the air.

"Did you make a wish, Detective Reed?" Connor spoke up as Hank slid the cake back onto the counter. Rafe turned back to the dishes, all of which were seemingly covered in chocolate cake batter.

"Wishing is for kids." He rolled his eyes at the android without looking at him, He leaned close to Hank and swiped some icing from the cake, stuffing his pointer finger in his mouth before the older man could protest. "Sides, I have cake and shoes with puddles in them, what more could a guy need?" He hefted himself up to sit on the counter, feet dangling. The chatted like that in the kitchen until Connor and Rafe said their goodbyes and left the dishwasher running in their absence.

"Sorry I changed stuff around." Hank offered, standing close to the younger man, "It was actually a lie." he admitted carefully. Gavin shook his head,

"Which was the lie? Going out or staying in?" He smiled nonetheless.

"I mean with you in that shirt, I should take you out and show you off, but staying home was always the plan." His hands slid to Gavin's waist as he appraised the younger man approvingly.

"It's fine." Gavin shrugged, "Who am I to complain, anyway?" He hopped off the counter to take his shoes off by the door, "Chinese, Cake, hanging out with you." He smiled genuinely.

"Don't forget gifts." Hank picked up a small blue box from the table and tossed it over; Gavin caught it easily.

"It's Tiffany Blue." He joked, feigning a swoon. He rattled the box slightly and heard nothing inside. For a brief moment, the thought passed that it could be a ring, and he flushed as he untitled the black ribbon and popped the lid off; only one way to find out.

Inside there was a ring, but not the kind that put his heart in his throat. It was a key ring with a  single gold key on it. He looped a finger through it and held it up, padding back to the kitchen and looking at Hank challengingly, "A key."

"Yeah." Hank breathed. He rubbed the back of his neck slowly, procrastinating the explanation. "It's a key to the house." He dropped his hand with finality and caught Gavin's in it, "I talked about it with Connor and Rafe. We, uh… I want you to move in." He explained, looking apologetic. Gavin opened his mouth to speak but scrunched his face into one of concern before he formulated a thought.

"I have a cat." He explained, as if it truly posed as an answer. Hank smiled slowly,

"Tesla can come too." He looked amused. "I don't want you taking the bus just to see me. I don’t want to have to think about if you have clothes or a toothbrush or any of that bullshit anymore. I don't want to have to worry about if you're sleeping properly or having nightmares." He offered, his voice quiet as if the sappiness was embarrassing. "I love you, and for you I will tolerate that bitch of a cat." He laughed, kissing Gavin's forehead. The smaller man leaned against Hank, nodding against his chest,

"I guess that sounds nice."

(((SO I also had a deleted half-written scene of Connor and Rafe giving Gavin gifts, so here’s that!)))

"From what I understand, birthdays are not for fulfilling needs." Connor offered, picking up a purple gift bag with red tissue in it and passing it to the brunette.

"You got me a gift?" Gavin looked confused, but pleased as he pulled out the tissue.  He peered into the bag and grinned, fishing out the black box with foreign writing on it. "This was on my amazon wish list. It's been sold out for weeks." He said in awe, prying the cardboard box open and pulling out the hand-sized neon colored cube.

"I simply found it from another source. I'm glad you enjoy it though." The android offered as Gavin ditched the box and giftwrap to scramble the cube without looking at it.

"Thank you." He flashed a small smile as Connor's LED flickered yellow at his sudden amity.

"Don't you already have one on your desk… and your coffee table?" Hank offered, gabbing at another gift on the table and passing it over.

"I do, but this one is new and top of the line and awesome. " Gavin offered as he traded the cube for the next gift. Rafe put the remaining bowls into the dishwasher and started it before turning to watch,

"That one's from me." he admitted. it was a larger box, wrapped in green striped paper. Inside was a tee from Gavin's favorite band. He held it up to his chest and smiled, 'Not Famous' proclaimed across the black fabric in white scrawl.

"I wouldn't have thought androids would be so good at this." He mused,

[joneswilliam72]

The 405 curated streaming queue #1A, March 2019 – totally free streaming choices.

The world of streaming is getting more and more dense with more and more options for the average viewer among more and more outlets to choose from.

Indeed, the sheer volume of content is daunting. But this climate also offers a tremendous amount of quality choices. If one knows where to look.

Toward that end, at The 405 I will be sharing a snapshot every month of my entire streaming queue across Hulu, Amazon, Tubi TV, PlutoTV, Sony Crackle, Netflix, MUBI and Vudu – all of which have apps for one’s smart TV in addition to the usual mobile fare. We will be adding entries for other free services like IMDb Freedive, and other paid services like The Criterion Channel, as they expand their smart TV capability. I have taken into account truly great films in most every genre in making this list and will continue to do so.

Tubi TV, Sony Crackle, and PlutoTV are all free all time (with adds), Vudu has a tremendous amount of free content but also pay content (all entries on this list for Vudu are free with ads). Hulu, Amazon, and Netflix are of course pay options.

Towards that end, entries over the free services will be in this article and entries in the paid services will be coming a little later this month. This template will be repeated from month to month as the platforms rotate new titles in.

The options below are on their respective outlets as of March 11, 2019. As I am in the US, they may not be accessible to viewers who are not. I cannot guarantee that one way or the other.

This is also just a snapshot. To list my entire queue would make this article unbearably long. What I have included below are the choices in my queue that I consider to be the most essential, must-see, and the highest quality. Links to each film at the respective service are embedded in each bold title below, along with the film’s trailer after the description.

Stay tuned for “The 405 curated streaming queue #1B, March 2019 – paid edition” for the best of my queue on the paid services, Hulu, Netflix, and Amazon.

I. Vudu

Still from Darren Aronofsky’s first film PI (1998). Source:Nerdist.

Tootsie

The classic starring Dustin Hoffman as a down-on-his-luck actor who cross dresses to gain a part on a TV show is always a fun watch and really essential if you have not seen it. Tootsie was directed by the one and only Sydney Pollack (Out of Africa) too.

The Last Witness

The Last Witness is a WWII murder mystery about a very real massacre of 22,000 Poles by Stalin and the Red Army. Catch my interview with director Piotr Szkopiak here.

A Scanner Darkly

Based on the Philip K. Dick novel, A Scanner Darkly is a dark, dystopian wonder with a lot to say on the human condition.

Pi

Pi is Darren Aronofsky’s first feature length film. It tells the story of a migraneur mathematician obsessed with the Bible Code and the people chasing him. In its monochrome, frenetic, and sublimely beautiful style, Pi is a cannot-miss.

Bully

From Kids director Larry Clark, Bully is a gritty look at teenagers and a murder plot involving their bully in 1990s California. It is a visceral gut punch of a movie that anyone who appreciates great cinema will love.

Irreversible

Gaspar Noé brings us a vicious, incredible, seemingly-random story of violence in Paris in a way only he can. Irreversible was the follow-up feature to his I Stand Alone, which was terrifyingly brutal in its own right. While both films are hard to watch, this is very intentional considering the subject matter and should not deter the viewer as Noé’s horrifying elegance is one-of-a-kind among directors.

Last Man Standing (NOT the Tim Allen TV show)

Bruce Willis is a mob hit man getting in gun fights in a Texas ghost town – which is a setting not often seen in mob movies. Last Man Standing is an action flick with a story the one and only Akira Kurosawa contributed to the story of – Last Man Standing (like Sergio Leone’s Fistful of Dollars in 1964) is a retelling of Kurosawa’s 1961 classic Yojimbo which is itself based on “The Maltese Falcon” author Dashiell Hammett’s novel “Red Harvest”. The Coen Brothers”– and Frances McDormand’s – incredible 1984 film debut Blood Simple. also got its title from a quote in “Red Harvest”.

Amityville II: The Possession

One of the best in the Amityville franchise and starring the incomparable ‘80s sex symbol, actress Diane Franklin who started the teen heartthrob curly-haired revolution. My interview with Diane can be read here.

The Machinist

Christian Bale stars as an insomniac machinist with a very dark secret. Bale lost an incredible amount of weight to play the part – dropping around 60 pounds, he is damn near unrecognizable in it – and his acting does not disappoint. Come to think of it, neither does the writing or filmmaking of this black as night neo-noir. The Machinist is truly a must-see.

Delicatessen

Delicatessen is a darkly funny, brilliantly-surrealist, post-apocalyptic fantasy. This is one you have to see to believe.

II. PlutoTV – Note that PlutoTV does not have a search function that I could see. You have to scroll through the relevant section for a title. Therefore, I have noted which section I found each title in next to its listing. While the site’s features and navigation frankly suck something awful, PlutoTV does offer an exceedingly wide breadth of great films and overlooked gems.

Still from TEETH (2007). Source:Bloody Good Horror.

The Evil Dead (horror)

Sam Raimi’s The Evil Dead tops more than a few “essential horror cinema” lists for good reason.

Night of the Living Dead (classic movies)

More essential horror, this time from the master George Romero. Night of the Living Dead is still scaring many an audience after nearly 51 years.

Hellraiser (horror)

A third entry for essential horror, this time from the great Clive Barker who both wrote the “Hellraiser” novels and directed the film.

Bronson (thriller)

Bronson is a loosely-true, biographical film of “the most violent prisoner in England”(an electric Tom Hardy) from The Neon Demon and Drive (look for Drive under the Sony Crackle section lower down this page) director Nicolas Winding Refn. NWR also runs a streaming site that is pretty incredible in its own right: bynwr.com specializes in restoring, then streaming, old cult classics and great movies that fly below the radar. Restorations are personally supervised by NWR and the site is always free to watch and read the treasure trove of information it shares on each film. The paid MUBI service streams these films on the larger mobile and smart TV ecosystem.

Children of the Corn (horror)

The feature length horror classic from Stephen King all about a couple whose car breaks down in a tiny Nebraska town with homicidal child religious zealots. Children of the Corn did a lot to define Stephen King’s horror on the big screen in the 1980s.

Bug (indies)

Bug is an overlooked gem of psychological horror starring Ashley Judd and directed by cinematic legend William Friedkin of The Exorcist, Wages of Fear, and The French Connection.

Donnie Darko (indies)

One of the most significant head-trips I’ve ever experienced at the movies – Jake Gyllenhaal is sublimely terrifying as the titular character who just so happens to have a homicidal rabbit named Frank as his hallucinatory friend. Donnie Darko messes with your sense of time and reality in incredible ways that no fan of serious, cerebral horror should miss.

Freakonomics: The Movie (documentaries)

An exceptional movie after an exceptional book (which I also highly recommend). Freakonomics will teach you to think counter-intuitively and reason like the rogue economist who wrote it.

Teeth (horror)

Teeth is a blood-chilling feminist horror film about a woman with literal vagina dentata (look it up) that became much more relevant in the #MeToo era. Read my interview with Teeth’s lead star Jess Weixler here.

The Merchant of Venice (drama)

Al Pacino stars in 1984 director Michael Radford’s 2004 take on Shakespeare’s play. Watch for the incredible realism here: for instance, the prostitutes are topless in the beginning scene not because Radford wanted a racier movie, but because it was the law in Venice, where authorities thought it would stomp out homosexuality. My interview with Radford can be read here.

Melancholia (indies)

Melancholia is Lars von Trier’s surreal story about two sisters (Kirsten Dunst, Charlotte Gainsbourg) who find their already strained relationship at its breaking point as a mysterious planet is colliding with Earth. While far from von Trier’s best (that, in my opinion, goes to the profoundly nihilistic Antichrist), Melancholia is well worth a watch.

A Star is Born (classic movies)

The 1937 original with Frederic March and Janet Gaynor.

Suddenly (classic movies)

A thriller with Frank Sinatra as the baddie along with Sterling Hayden? Count me in.

His Girl Friday (classic movies)

Cary Grant is always a great watch with his one-of-a-kind humor and goofiness. The great Howard Hawks (the original 1932 Scarface, The Big Sleep, Bringing Up Baby) directs.

House on Haunted Hill (classic movies)

The original 1959 horror classic based on the book by Shirley Jackson and starring the immortal Vincent Price, this is essential modern gothic horror.

D.O.A. (classic movies)

Edmond O’Brien is California businessman Frank Bigelow who is poisoned when he heads to San Francisco. Can Bigelow find his own murderer before the poison acts? D.O.A. is a fantastic, frenetic film noir directed by prolific cinematographer Rudolph Maté who worked on classics from The Passion of Joan of Arc to Hitchcock’s Foreign Correspondent.

Algiers (classic movies)

Hedy Lamarr and Gaslight’s Charles Boyer star in this locational love story that did quite a lot to convince the studios of Casablanca’s merits four years after Algiers came out.

He Walked By Night (classic movies)

Richard Basehart is a cold blooded killer in this noir that acted as a forerunner to TV’s Dragnet.

Indiscreet (classic movies)

Indiscreet is one of screen legend Gloria Swanson’s first talkies. Wanna see what the experience behind her immortal portrayal of Norma Desmond in Billy Wilder’s Sunset Boulevard (1950) looks like? Indiscreet is a definitive entry in the canon of a powerful actress that helped build that indelible foundation as Norma Desmond in Wilder’s movie.

Maniac (classic movies)

A fascinating example of early grindhouse cinema (from 1934) in its violent, disturbing style, Maniac (originally titled “Sex Maniac”) tells the story of a former vaudevillian who is skilled as an impersonator as he aids a mad scientist in re-animating the dead.

They Made Me a Criminal (classic movies)

An essential early noir starring the great John Garfield (The original Postman Always Rings Twice).

The Strange Love of Martha Ivers (classic movies)

More essential noir and Kirk Douglas’s film debut. Barbara Stanwyck also delivers knock-out performance.

Goya’s Ghosts (drama)

Goya’s Ghosts is an incredible look at a scandal involving the mistress (Natalie Portman) of legendary Spanish painter Francisco de Goya (Javier Bardem). Milos Forman (Amadeus) directed and co-wrote this fantastic, based-on-a-true-story historical piece.

III. Sony Crackle.

Ryan Gosling in DRIVE (2011). Source:Japan Times.

Sexy Beast

Sir Ben Kingsley earned an Oscar nomination for the role of brutal British gangster Don Logan in this Jonathan Glazer-directed crime thriller.

The Haunting

Catherine Zeta-Jones and Liam Neeson star in this more modern take on Shirley Jackson’s “The Haunting of Hill House.”

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels is Guy Ritchie’s breakout London crime comedy that is always a treat to watch. Check out my interview with Rocketman director and actor Dexter Fletcher who plays Soap in Lock, by heading here.

Arlington Road

Jeff Bridges plays a college professor who suspects his new neighbor (Tim Robbins) may be an alt-right domestic terrorist. It is sad how timely a thriller Arlington Road still is (it is 20 this year) – but even if it wasn’t, Arlington Road is still a taut and very well-executed.

Drive

Nicolas Winding Refn directs this neo-noir with Ryan Gosling as a stuntman who moonlights as a getaway driver with a conscience. The visual palette of Drive is absolutely incredible with its neon-drenched, realist, California scenes – made all the more incredible because Winding Refn is actually color blind in that he is physically unable to see midtones. If you like movies like Nightcrawler, you’ll really like Drive.

Lords of Dogtown

Heath Ledger, John Robinson, and Emile Hirsch star in this look at the skateboarding trends that developed in the 1970s in Venice, CA. Catherine Hardwicke (Twilight, Miss Bala) directs Lords of Dogtown.

IV. Tubi TV

Still from CARNIVAL OF SOULS (1962). Source:The Criterion Collection.

Memento

Christopher Nolan’s epic 2000 neo-noir murder mystery told in reverse chronology. Starring Guy Pearce and Carrie-Anne Moss, Memento is undoubtedly one of the best and most influential neo-noirs of the early 2000s.

Mulholland Dr.

David Lynch’s surreal magnum opus is a movie I’ve written about extensively at The 405 – read my original analysis of it here. Mulholland Dr. is essential cinema for the modern world. Check out my interview with Oscar-nominee Robert Forster, who was in Mulholland Dr., here.

True Grit

The Coen Brothers version of the classic western from 1969, with Jeff Bridges in John Wayne’s part of Rooster Cogburn. True Grit was nominated for 10 Academy Awards.

Hugo

Martin Scorsese’s multi-Oscar winning love letter to classic cinema. Hugo (with its PG rating) also functions really well as a family film that has substance and can teach your kids a thing or two about the great Georges Méliès who directed one of the first great movies in the early 1900s: A Trip to the Moon.

The Bird With the Crystal Plumage

The 1970 giallo classic from Dario Argento. The Bird With the Crystal Plumage is a defining film for giallo as a style in its reluctant detective story about an American who witnesses a murder at an art gallery in Rome and tries to piece his recollections together for the carbineri.  .

The 50 Worst Movies Ever Made

An entertaining, self-explanatory documentary. Every cineaste should know about The 50 Worst Movies Ever Made.

Multiple Maniacs

Multiple Maniacs is the definitive John Waters classic. Read The 405 interview with him here.

Reefer Madness (In Color and Restored)

While it isn’t the monochrome original from 1936, Reefer Madness is an essential watch to understand the racist and hype-driven roots of America’s Drug War. It is definitive in that area and even birthed terms like “voodoo pharmacology.”

The Goode Family

Another brilliant satirical show from Beavis and Butt-Head creator Mike Judge. The Goode Family is a scathing sendup of modern leftism and was beloved by many regular leftists when it was on for one season in 2009 because it shows a regular family. Think King of the Hill with weird vegan hippies and not Texans and you’ll understand this half hour show. Alas, petulant, safe-space-hiding critics hated The Goode Family and crucified it till the plug was pulled. Still, the lower than average ratings also didn’t help the shows ultimate destiny. But don’t let that deceive you: this is quality – and very funny – satire. See the pilot below.

The Little Shop of Horrors

A fantastic little piece of comedic horror from 1960, Roger Corman directs The Little Shop of Horrors.

The Hitch-Hiker

The Hitch-Hiker was the first Hollywood film noir directed by a woman: the incomparable actress and filmmaker Ida Lupino. Edmond O’Brien stars.

Carnival of Souls

A remarkable low budget but high-concept, psychologically-driven horror flick made by Herk Harvey, a Kansas filmmaker who specialized in industrial films in 1962. The film’s entire budget was sourced over the course of one weekend in Lawrence, Kansas. Carnival of Souls is a must-see that bombed when it first came out but is now viewed as a standard-bearer of superb psychological horror.

Suspiria

The Dario Argento horror classic which was recently remade by Luca Guadagnino.

1984

Director Michael Radford’s superb take (the 1956 version, done almost 25 years before this one, was essentially panned by Orwell’s widow for neutering the more brutal lessons Orwell intended in the novel) on George Orwell’s powerful and timely novel of an authoritarian future. Read my interview with actress Suzanna Hamilton who played Julia in 1984, by going here.

Dial M For Murder

Dial M is the Alfred Hitchcock suspense classic starring Ray Milland and Grace Kelly. Warner Brothers insisted the film be shot in 3D, which Hitchcock did not want. The craze was fading but Hitchcock gave in to their wishes. Still, like all his movies, Dial M is nerve-shredding.

The Naked Kiss

A 1964 crime drama about a prostitute working out her psychological demons. Prolific auteur Samuel Fuller (The Big Red One, Shock Corridor) is the mind behind The Naked Kiss.

Five Minutes to Live

Johnny Cash stars as hood Johnny Cabot in this 1961 crime flick directed by Bill Karn. Five Minutes to Live was the only feature length film the Man in Black acted in in the ‘60s, he would go on to do more in the intervening decades before his death in 2003.

Kansas City Confidential

Kansas City Confidential is a rather under-rated film noir with John Payne as an ex con trying to go straight who is framed for an armed car robbery and must go to Mexico to seek justice and the truth.

Gothic

Gothic is the great Ken Russell's take on the infamous story of what happened the night Mary Shelley wrote “Frankenstein” with Gabriel Byrne as Lord Byron and Natasha Richardson as Mary Shelley. Russell’s work is always bold and boundary-pushing: if you like Gothic, you owe it to yourself to see his 1971 film The Devils too, although you’ve probably already seen The Who’s Tommy – probably Russell’s best known directorial effort.

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