#also im seriously questioning late 90s aesthetic

[tarmairons]

re: that last hp ask i got

i know i said i wouldn’t be cross-posting my bellamort/dark au/riddle fam headcanons from twitter but i’ve decided to post a lengthy updated masterpost here after all so ENJOY bon apetit 

1. see the thing is that 90% of my hcs can’t be described with words bc they’re just.. feelings.. aesthetics.. vibes.. vague scenarios that make me feel some sort of way… the dark au has a certain Feel and i just stick a bunch of domestic concepts in there and shake it all up and that’s it shshsh

2. disclaimer: im like 75% sure my self indulgent ramblings won’t make sense so sorry about that

3. i was fully serious that one time i said on twitter that voldemort’s no.1 priority after taking over the wizarding world was doing sth about his snace (snake face) so yeah. first things first he’s not as fugly in the dark au. as mentioned previously he just looks like mr. ralph and probably wears ornate haute couture power suits

4. the public doesn’t actually know who the augurey is for YEARS… they know whoever it is is voldemort’s second in command and sure there’s rumors that he has an heir but nobody knows it’s delphi. this way she doesn’t have to be reclusive and hide away, she just lives her life, studies and trains, masters the art of dark magic, hangs around town etc, and no one suspects anything bc who would think this tiny super friendly innocent looking girl is the dark lord’s kid — her identity isn’t revealed until she’s deemed Ready to publicly take up her position. and when she is revealed it’s a Big Moment bc she’s a drama queen and lives for attention

5. delphi is taller than bellatrix

6. speaking of bellatrix. she’s presumed dead after the battle of hogwarts which turns out to be a cool bonus for the dark side. any leftover resistance? she’ll take care of that and they’ll never see her coming. tbh this seems a lot cooler in my head bc movie bellatrix would not be stealthy enough to stay hidden for years she would probs trip over something and accidentally commit arson within a few days. but yeah sneaky assassin sounds sexy. plus to be super honest i imagine bella is a teensy bit more collected than in the films... no shade at helena y’all know i would die for her but there are in fact things i would change about her bella. so yeah for a while the only people who know she’s alive aside from her immediate family are probs rod and the malfoys

7. hm so. the malfoys…. much to think about. narcissa did lie to voldemort’s face during the battle so logically he should have killed her the moment he realized she knew harry was alive all along. but this is a soft dark au so let’s pretend bellatrix was like hey dude don’t kill my sister maybe and voldemort was like k. i mean no harm done, harry potter is properly dead in this universe after all

8. but seriously tho. the only reason voldemort didn’t yeet narcissa into a wall was for bella’s sake. he’s nice like that, he probably promised her at one point that he wouldn’t violently murder her family. peak romance

9. delphi is surprisingly close with both her parents although with voldemort it’s more of a mentor-student relationship than a parent-child one bc he’s Like That. growing up it was always bella who insisted they treat delphi more like a child and less like a weapon and voldemort wasn’t always happy about that bc he’s emotionally constipated and also never had a childhood. also he’s, like, evil. so yes, reminding voldemort that delphi was her daughter too sometimes got bella in trouble bc we all know of voldemort’s superiority issues. but no bella didn’t stop insisting that delphi deserved an actual childhood and in the end they compromised like functional adults and delphi turned out pretty well for someone raised by 2 of the most terrifying people alive

10. but yeah that’s not to say voldemort and kid delphi never had soft moments. they did. he even picked her up every once in a while. everyone was surprised, bella most of all. she probably cried in the bathroom later bc the softness overwhelmed her. i’m not sure if i mean that in a sarcastic shitpost kind of way or if she was really moved to tears. y’all decide for yourselves

11. delphi looks very very much like bella but she has tom riddley eyes.. so dark they’re nearly black. and soulless. maybe they even flash red when she’s enraged. and she has very aristocratic very controlled tom riddley mannerisms. it’s not until you piss her off and she goes off the rails that the bella side of her personality kicks in

12. delphi gets along really well with the malfoys (except lucius. she thinks he’s pathetic and likes to tease him. in a friendly way but it’s still harsh. she gets that from her mom) esp scorp. scorp thinks this makes him cool at school bc he gets to fist bump the augurey and not get murdered for it

13. speaking of hogwarts. umbridge is scared shitless of delphi and it’s always a school-wide spectacle when the augurey drops by unexpectedly on official business and umbridge starts stuttering and quivering. scorp sometimes makes a point to approach umbridge and delphi when they’re talking and act all chummy-chummy with his cousin just to make himself look powerful and Cool in front of umbridge and the other students

14. i still don’t know whether voldemort would call delphi ‘delphini’ or just ‘delphi’… i imagine he’s a strict stick-up-his-ass kinda father but who knows. he does call bellatrix ‘bella’ but that’s different i guess

15. but THEN AGAIN he does have a gigantic soft spot for delphi too. maybe he slips up every so often and calls her delphi. i’m literally making this shit up as i go along i’m just smashing my mf keyboard and occasionally glancing at my messy hcs notebook. I TOLD YALL i don’t have solid hcs i just have VIBES and AESTHETICS. the only way you’ll get specific hcs out of me is if you ask very specific questions

16. weirdest brotp is delphi and rodolphus. nobody knows where that came from but they get along so well and it confuses everybody

17. we been knew that bella is batshit crazy and criminally insane or whatever but against all odds she is a surprisingly good mother. she’s always been soft for family (narcissa etc) so it makes sense that she would legit die for delphi. they have this super casual bantery relationship YALL GET ME bella is so proud of delphi she’s literally that “my little baby off to destroy people” meme!!! honestly mother-daughter relationships are my goddamn weakness i would die for the two of them

18. delphi has a gf (underdeveloped oc time!) who, for the longest time, doesn’t know who she is dating bc delphi is obviously not allowed to say. she finds out the truth eventually and she is properly freaked out for a very very long time. and since all of these hcs are stupidly soft we’re just gonna keep making them softer: the gf is terrified of delphi’s parents at first (obvs) but they’re both extremely fond of her (well, bella is, voldemort probs doesn’t care all that much about who delphi is dating so long as she’s not of subpar blood status or secretly spying for the opposition ya know. as long as delphi trusts her he does too)

19. no but really voldemort trusts delphi and bella implicitly. with delphi it’s bc he raised her and he trusts her to be loyal bc she knows no other way, she was meant to be an extension of his power etc. but with bella it’s something he learns over time, to trust her judgement bc despite her many many flaws she’s very perceptive and usually right

20. voldemort probably makes more horcruxes. still haven’t decided how this ties in with the fact that he’s now safely immortal again and neither delphi nor bella are. who knows maybe they all do the do and split their souls. much to think about. feel free to send ur thots and ideas my way

21. ya know im basic and always on my bellamort bs and therefore: as the years go by voldemort warms up to bella. not that he wasn’t already extremely fond of her before but he kicks it up a notch. i mean, he’s already taken over the world so it’s high time to start experimenting with other wilder things like Feelings. 80/90 years old isn’t too late to experience Love or whatever. might as well wake up one day and realize you’re completely and utterly in love with the woman you’ve spent the last 50+ years with whew. LIKE to be fair bella knows him better than anyone — they understand each other, they’re familiar with each other’s likes, dislikes, mannerisms, nervous tics etc etc. let’s be real it freaked voldemort out at first, being vulnerable to any degree (not that he let it show) but it just became so easy to tell her things that it became a natural thing to do. and obvs he trusts her to keep everything between them and never judge him for anything so that’s sweet

22. y’all keep asking me for domestic hcs but what can i possibly say?? imagine literally any domestic scenario ever and just think bellamort and i’ve probably imagined that same scenario before. except its sexier bc the world is dark and evil and they live in a dark gloomy super fancy manor. so we have these 2 goths right but they’re in love but in that casual familiar way YALL GET ME and sometimes they even drink coffee together in the mornings or like. do that thing where Person A returns from work late at night and its dark and raining and Person B is already home just chilling and they don’t even have to talk they just go about their nighttime routine but it’s soft and familiar and COMFORTABLE. i clearly dont have enough softness in my life i just. love domestic scenarios bye

23. i forgot everything else i wanted to write bc i got distracted by domesticity. im also thinking about how voldemort absolutely despises the thought of any pda but he’ll take bella by the wrist in public every so often when he wants to get her attention, or like. put his hand on her back. small things but oh so soft

24. hhhh okay i have a LOT to say about the power fam’s fashion choices but it’s hard to explain without pictures. i have a wholeass ppt presentation but i’m not about to upload 20+ slides to tumblr. but i seriously was not kidding when i said voldemort wears fancy suits and yes i have references. meanwhile delphi is a fan of feathers but mostly goes with lowkey military-style outfits.. she’s practical yet ostentatious. bella sticks to a conservative yet undeniably sexy selection of evil looking dresses.. i should make all of these into pinterest boards hmm

25. controversial opinion but i think delphi knows she and voldemort are half bloods. so does bella but that’s a whole other story, she been knew. anyhow yeah delphi was told the truth bc it was better for her to find out from the source rather than hear rumors from the opposition and begin to distrust the foundations of voldemort’s whole empire and voldemort himself

26. i used to absolutely hate fics where bella would eventually call voldemort by his name but now im like FUCK THAT we don’t do guilty pleasures anymore we just stan ridiculous things and that’s that. one day voldemort had a Thought (shocking, i know) and was like. Hm so we have a wholeass child and we’re basically married maybe bella shouldn’t have to call me My Lord for the rest of her life. BUT ONLY IN PRIVATE. THATS BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM it’s nobody’s business. It Is Nobody’s Business

27. speaking of marriage. bella and rod got divorced a few years after the battle. it was just a formality tho let’s be real. they remained very close friends tho!!!!!!!! i think that’s an unpopular opinion among bellamort stans but i genuinely believe bella and rod were always close the way best friends or family are ya know. rod really loves bella but as long as she’s happy he’s happy even if it means her fucking the dark lord on the reg or whatever

28. going back to #6 — when the public finally finds out that bella’s alive they obviously start to wonder about her and voldemort and connect the dots re: delphi etc but nobody ever gets any concrete answers bc there’s never any public pda.. any sort of affection is limited to when it’s just the two of them. and obviously it’s not like voldemort gossips about his private life in tabloid interviews or whatnot. ALSO the whole Bella Is Alive reveal isn’t nearly as dramatic as delphi’s big moment.. it’s more discreet and insidious in that way it implies that she was there hiding in plain sight all along. and if the ministry can keep sth this big a secret, what else are they hiding.. ah classic intimidation tactics of an authoritarian regime

29. i dont think this is ever stated in the CC but in terms of politics and bureaucracy i imagine voldemort has a fancy office in the ministry and spends 99% of his time there and rarely spends any time out and about. he’s almost never seen by anyone, rarely attends events etc. delphi’s the one who handles the day to day shit in the wizarding world. she’s like.. the public relations manager.. between the public and voldemort

30. bella is of similar status within the ministry but that’s just bc people are scared shitless of her. she doesn’t actually hold any political power and she most certainly does not want to, that is not her area of expertise at all

31. delphi is dangerously powerful and i think that’s really sexy of her

32. re: #21 it’s like. as voldemort warms up to bella, she in turn chillaxes a bit with the whole blind devotion thing and becomes bolder with him like. she’ll outright question his decisions or tell him what he should do, make judgement calls etc. and it becomes a regular thing.. turns into this casual companionship ya feel.. i won’t say they become equals bc that’s just unrealistic but he certainly stops treating her like his inferior. he recognizes her value and i daresay her authority and stops treating her like shit all the time Wow Romance Is Alive!! (this sounds like some sort of “douche fuckboi changes for his poor mistreated love interest” schtick but it’s really not that bc they’re both monstrous people who do not deserve any pity so jot that down. they’re horrible and they deserve each other and they eventually do make it work and i am so so happy for them)

33. it is never outright stated that voldemort can’t love. jkr has said that he doesn’t understand love and that it’s just symbolism!!! that he’s the child of a loveless union and grew up without knowing love!!! BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN HE PHYSICALLY CANNOT LOVE thanks for coming 2 my ted talk. i wasn’t aware of this until a few months ago and i was thrilled to find out my soft hcs are not entirely ooc after all

34. THE POINT IS. THEY ARE A SEMI-FUNCTIONAL FAMILY and i just really love soft domestic scenarios so sorry jkr but the dark au is the only canon now and it belongs to me. everybody has feelings and everything is soft. i’d like to pitch an idea for a kuwtk style reality show but it’s these 3 sociopaths under one roof navigating family life and wizarding world politics

35. to finish i’d like to apologize for downplaying the fact that all 3 of the people i woobified in this post are psychotic murderers and tyrants etc

—— i’ll be updating this if/when i remember anything i forgot AND ALSO send me ur thoughts and comments and constructive criticism etc pls pls pls 

—— follow me on twitter and also curiouscat bc i get a scary amount of q’s about voldemort’s sex life thank you and goodbye

edits:

36. in this household we stan dark haired delphi. no i will not be taking any criticism regarding this particular fact

37. bella and voldemort never get married. obviously, because that’s a disgustingly romantic and pointless thing to do. it’s sentimental and unnecessary (well, voldemort thinks so, bella might just disagree but she’s not about to force his hand) BUT that’s not to say they’re not basically an old married couple anyway. AND as much as voldemort thinks love is weakness or whatever he knows this, that they’re about as close as two people can get. SO if he just so happens to gift her a ring.. well it’s a purely symbolic gesture but the implication is definitely there

38. it’s the horcrux ring. he trusts her that much. m y  h e a r t

[dayentika]

hate to admit but hetalia songs are so catchy....... #RIPMyMusicTaste

[shazzbaa]

So I Saw Doctor Strange

EDIT: I just found this all typed up in my drafts from the day after I saw Doctor Strange several months ago. it’s very ramble-y and not very edited but uh,,,, im just gonna publish it, HERE, HAVE A, VERY COOLED OFF HOT TAKE?????

It was O-Kay. I’m typing up my thoughts because I can’t sleep, and also because this movie is my actual exact trope (please see figure A: my entire webcomic) and yet, while I had a nice time watching it, I kept kinda drifting out of the movie to question the choices it made.

I should also mention, I never read the comics and I never watched any cartoons with Strange in them, so I don’t really care about accuracy in that regard. All I know is that I read his origin story off wikipedia and said “man I hope this movie is good because this could really be my jam.”

ENTIRELY COMPOSED OF SPOILERS:

THINGS I LOVED:

I loved that the hospital kept coming back!! I expected it to just be his origin story and then disappear, like the theatre that scared baby batman, but every time something bad happens to him or his allies he uses his weird new magic to teleport STRAIGHT TO THE HOSPITAL, because OBVIOUSLY that’s where you go when you get hurt!! It’s what he understands and he’s comfortable in that environment and I can’t get over how happy I am with the idea that this ridiculous sorcerer keeps coming back to the ER when he gets really hurt. Also I love the juxtaposition of Dr. Strange’s frankly absurd getup (aka: my aesthetic) striding through An Actual Hospital as if he remotely belongs there. This is 100% my favourite thing about this movie.

I loved that Strange’s hands never get fixed!! He doesn’t GET MAGIC TO FIX THEM, he gets magic to give him a new purpose so that he can finally get over his inability to do surgery. This is infinitely better tbh, both in a non-ableist message sense AND in a “Shazz is happy because he still keeps this one weakness at the end and that’s the kind of thing she likes in stories” sense.

I liked the dimension-altering spell that turns all buildings into a Terrifying Conveyor Belt Of Machinery. Especially in that very first scene, it looks cool and feels like actual magic, something barely fathomable, bending the world to your will.

She kisses him on the cheek!!!!!! I’m 90% more heartwarmed by this choice -- their relationship is so strained at this point that a lips-kiss would feel forced, or inappropriate,  like, Obligatory Superhero Kisses Girl Scene, but instead it’s just a moment of, “this is all still a mess but I genuinely care about you.”

Also while we’re on the subject of non-sensual physical touch, I love that the Ancient One holds his hand!!! More deep, meaningful platonic touch in movies please!!!!!!!

I like a lot of the little goofy banter -- “oh, you joined a cult,” and Strange whining about how nobody will name anything after him because his name is Strange. But I’m a sucker for this stuff (see: my entire webcomic).

THINGS IM REALLY MAD ABOUT:

okay but how do you take FREAKIN MAGIC and turn it into SWORDFIGHTING??? who looks at all of psionics and goes “hey lets all play soulknifes.” Seriously tho, there’s like two cool spells and everything else is the exact same choreography you’d expect if they were using staves or fisticuffs and that’s JUST A DANG SHAME!!!! WHERE IS YOUR IMAGINATION MARVEL

I’m not asking for all the spells to be wacky I’m just askin for it to look different from just wackin swords together and blocking them!!! THATS THE MOST BORING THING YOU COULD POSSIBLY DO WITH MAGIC!!!!

that early scene where Strange’s consciousness is getting slingshotted around while the Ancient One schools him about how much he doesn’t understand is unbelievably boring, and this is coming from someone whose biggest turn-on is slightly frail boys being terrified. Why does that scene go on so long??? He hasn’t even earned that experience and it doesn’t even look that cool.

I JUST REALISED THIS IS PROBABLY ENTIRELY COMPOSED WITH THE 3D VERSION IN MIND AND NOW IM EVEN MADDER

THINGS THAT WERE ALLLLMOST COOL BUT I FEEL ULTIMATELY UNSATISFIED:

What the heck is going on with Doctor Strange’s character arc

There’s the weird feeling throughout that Strange learns nothing and is not actually different. Like, I’m sure this isn’t exactly true, but I’m having a hard time countering that idea. He starts out an arrogant person who trusts his own judgement above anyone else’s, and then ends a slightly more polite arrogant person who trusts his own judgement above anyone else’s.

I’m gonna compare Strange to Tony Stark, because I liked Iron Man, and it felt triumphant in a way that Doctor Strange didn’t, and Tony Stark also remains arrogant throughout, but here’s the thing -- Stark’s sin in Iron Man wasn’t hubris, it’s thoughtlessness, both socially and globally. “Proof Tony Stark Has A Heart” and so on. So when Stark remains arrogant, but his beliefs are shaken and he wants to reach out to help & defend others, we don’t feel like he’s gone nowhere. Meanwhile Strange’s sin IS presented as hubris -- he didn’t believe anyone could do what he could do, and his ego is what’s constantly chided by the Ancient One. And then he continues being exactly this way, doing whatever he wants because he doesn’t trust others to guide or help him, and saves the day?? It’s just weird because it seems like maybe they didn’t actually understand what they were setting up?

I think it’s a good choice that he doesn’t quite master magic throughout the course of the movie -- that fits. He’s not the Sorcerer Supreme at the end because “it’s not about you.” But it’s a timid choice, because how do you make a story where the theme is “it’s not about you” and still have the main character single-handedly save the day? You’d have to be a lot more creative than this movie was.

Strange handing the scalpel to Nick is a nice moment but it doesn’t count as paying off this arc/theme/whatever. Strange literally can’t use the scalpel and remembers that the girl he likes trusts Nick, so Nick is the best they’ve got. Strange is a smart guy who’s afraid to fail, he’s gonna make the choice that’s most likely to succeed. We already know he’ll ask for help if he has literally no other option. That’s not a payoff!

There’s a REALLY COOL thing that’s brought up halfway through where Strange freaks out that he killed a guy. He starts yelling about how he’s a doctor who swore to do no harm and I got really excited -- this is an actual redeeming character trait, a chance for Strange to Care about people in contrast to his flippant attitude at the beginning and put his brilliance to work not serving himself, but others -- and the fact that it put him in conflict with his more ruthless fellow sorcerers was also interesting. AND THEN THAT’S IT, THATS THE ENTIRETY OF THAT ISSUE, BASICALLY JUST THAT SCENE.

Like, yeah, at the end he did find a creative way to strike a deal instead (THO HE ARGUABLY DID A LOT OF HARM TO THOSE GUYS THAT GOT SUCKED INTO HELL THE DARK DIMENSION, HMM) but that sort of got lost in this OTHER theme about rule-breaking versus rigidity that got pulled in at the end.

Ultimately it feels like they had three different themes going simultaneously -- Dr. Strange has a huge ego and needs to let go of it, Dr. Strange, as a doctor, questions the sorcerers’ ruthlessness, Dr. Strange is willing to break rules that the other sorcerers aren’t. And it’s only that last one that really feels like a major theme of the movie at the end.... but it’s not really set up that way at the beginning????

//SIGHS A LOT ABOUT THE THING AT THE END OF THE MOVIE

the part where they’re Too Late and Strange turns back time so that they won’t be is cool. I’m not gonna knock that. BUT HEY THAT WAS SET UP ALREADY AND WASN’T AN ASSPULL

uggghghghghghghg like.... this is, I don’t know, it’s a genuinely smart move, and it feels like it works, but it also has that feeling of “oh, I guess this is possible then,” because it wasn’t really set up well. THATS NOT WHAT YOU WANT FOR THE CLIMACTIC END OF YOUR MOVIE!!!

Look, there’s the bones of something good here. Strange messes up by trying to do a cool thing and throwing everyone into the mirror dimension, and actually exclaims “this was a mistake” (which I expected to be a way bigger deal???) -- and then at the end he does the exact same friggin thing by jumping into a dimension with a plan that seems like it’ll make sense. So what if he learned from his mistake instead? What if he realised he’d need help understanding dimensions, and we saw him asking questions and getting guidance and finally being willing to trust that maybe someone else knows more than he can teach himself? In that moment, we could learn a little bit more about bringing different magic to different dimensions. And at the end, what if it wasn’t a split second decision by Strange to do a risky proceedure (aka, the thing he already did at the start of the movie) but instead, Strange has the idea to carry time into the dark dimension and checks his idea with the others? You could even bring the violence angle in here, if the others had some other option that would be less magically risky but involve more death, and Strange chooses the one where nobody has to die, and maybe even asks them to trust his decision -- something he never felt the need to do before. Instead of the ENTIRE TIME ISSUE feeling like kinda an asspull because it’s all a surprise, it’s the Time Loop Bargain that’s a surprise, while everything else has been firmly established.

I don’t know if this would work or be the best choice. But like!!! these are things that feel like they could’ve been worked with a little more to make the whole movie feel more cohesive!!! instead of having one theme, and then dropping it and picking up a different theme, and then kinda fumbling that into another theme, and not being sure where to put any exposition or character development.

I really like that Strange is kinda.... not physically amazing. Like, he’s been taught how to fight, but it’s clear he’s leaning a lot on his cloak for the fancier stuff and he’d still definitely get beat up without help. This is obviously like.. my character type, but wouldn’t it be cool if he were just a smiiiiiiidge older?? Like, a little frailer, can’t really fight that well without magical help? NO? JUST ME?????????

okay I think that’s everything. thats my opinion of dr strange

[themagicaltunaa]

Answer them all Tuna! #100: How's my fave tuna doing?

1. do you have a favourite sweater? 

nope, but i do have a favorite jacket, which is my only jacket tbh

2. what’s your middle name?

its bad

3. do you still talk to the first person you kissed?

never kissed anyone so uh no

4. do you get on with your grandpa`?

no because i dont get to see him at all. he lives on the other side of the country

5. what was your favourite cartoon as a kid?

i have way to many to list.

6. what’s your favourite cartoon now?

none atm

7. do you read the news paper?

do people still read the newspaper?????

8. who was the last text you sent to?

the last text i sent was to my friend Dani

9. what does the last text you sent say?

Did your trip to the store go well?

10. if you could have any hair colour what would it be?

ill just keep my natural hair color

11. do you like nature documentaries?

depends on whats it about tbh

12. what is your aesthetic?

i dont think i have one

13. when did you last pet a dog?

like a month ago. its been too long

14. whose friend’s parents do you like the most?

uh none i guess??

15. have you ever been on a road trip?

no but i would love to go on one some day

16. tell me about someone you know called emma

i dont know anyone named emma

17. are you reading a book in english class, what is it?

i finished my english classes, and im not reading anything atm

18. do you have a favourite aunt?

i love both tia anita and tia ivette

19. baths or showers?

showers

20. skiing or sun bathing?

neither i guess? ive never been skiing and living here in florida has made me hate the sun so no sunbathing

21. do you kill spiders?

yes whenever i have the chance

22. have you ever made an ice pop?

no??? thats a popsicle right?

23. are you wearing shoes right now?

nope

24.tell me about you favourite primary school/elementary school teacher

oh man, my 1st grade teacher Mrs. Brock was the best teacher ever. she was super nice and made learning really fun.she also used to call me rapunzel because of how long my hair was back then. she still called me that even after i went to middle school.

25.who was the last person you hugged?

my little brother at church today

26. do you wear glasses?

yup

27. do you have a cat?

yup i got two of them

28. do you have a favourite pair of underwear?

?

29. what was your last tweet?

i uh, i dont have a twitter

30. do you still use facebook?

never used it to begin with

31. do you like birds?

i guess??

32. who was the last person you called cute?

my cat, oreo

33. who was the last person that called you cute?

lmao no idea

34. how did you meet your best friend?

i have multiple best friends. i met them in 1st grade and in 6th grade

35. escalators or elevators?

escalators

36. are you named after anyone, who?

nope

37. what was your first url?

oh man uh, i think it was airtuna or some shit like that??? i couldnt think of anything so i put that. or maybe it was tunaoverlord? idk its one of those

38. autumn or winter?

autumn!!!!

39. do you win at scrabble?

ive only played scrabble once, and i dont remember if i won

40. put your ipod on shuffle , who is the first song that comes up by?

Holiest (feat. Tei Shi) by Glass Animals

41. have you ever drunk from a mason jar?

yup

42. can you draw?

i was able to when i was like 8. now i cant draw for shit

43. what was your first profile picture?

dont remember

44. favourite tshirt?

either my star wars or my nasa shirt. i fuckin love space

45. best tumblr friend?

@moonspiralheartrod sup you fuck

46. when did you last run?

HA

47. do you like to paint your nails?

nope

48. did you ever do something as a kid that got you into loads of trouble?

dude i got in trouble for everything. if i even breathed wrong i was in trouble. thats what happens when you got a strict mom. 

49. who is your favourite dog that isn’t yours?

my neighbor’s dog, Luca! he’s such a sweetie i love him so much i dont care if he drools everywhere he is perfect

50. have you ever been drunk?

nope.

51. have you ever done something you regret while drunk?

look at the previous answer

52. do you want to kiss anyone right now?

lol nope

53. do/did you like you math teacher?

dont have one atm

54. do you often ride the bus?

yeah :\

55. do you have a fireplace in your house?

nope. you dont need fireplaces when you live in florida

56. are you violent when you’re angry?

no

57. do you cry when you’re angry?

sometimes yeah. its the worst thing, no one can take you seriously

58. favourite Harry potter book?

i uh…….ive never read harry potter…

59. can you remember your last dream?

nope

60. do you go to bed early or late?

the earliest that i go to sleep is like 3am, so yeah i go to sleep late

61. do you speak a second language?

i can somewhat speak spanish

62. who was your first ever best friend?

uhhhh i dont remember

63. have you ever had an operation?

nope

64. tell me about your favourite cousin

i dont know my cousins well enough to have a favorite. 

65. do you have a piece of clothing that doesn’t even fit you anymore but you can’t bare to throw away?

no

66. have you ever been in a musical?

nope

67. do you have a porch?

also no

68. how many times have you watched your favourite movie?

ive seen How to Train Your Dragon so many times that ive lost count

69. what do you order at mcdonalds?

big mac and a when i have extra either an iced coffee or a mcflurry

70. do you get on with old people?

nope

71. science fiction or romance?

science fiction

72. do you take naps?

i try tbh. whenever i do though i always have someone yelling at me :(

73. how many classes do you/did you take in high-school?

7?

74. when did it last snow where you live?

never

75. does it ever snow where you live?

im pretty sure its never snowed here in south florida

76. how many months until your birthday?

about 10 months

77. how much charge does your computer have right now?

100% i always keep it plugged in

78. what is your favourite disney channel movie?

high school musical. its good ok dont judge me

79. the city or the sea side?

sea side

80. what is your least favourite colour?

yellow

81. do you have homework to do?

nope

82. are you still friends with your first best friend?

again, i dont remember who my first best friend is

83. do you have/are you the gay cousin?

again, i dont know my cousins well enough, and im pretty sure im not the gay cousin

84.do you own dungarees?

tf is a dungaree

85. do you like to play sport?

bruh i dont like leaving my room what makes you think i like sports

86. what was your favourite ever christmas present?

money

87. how old are you?

20 :(

88. what is your mum’s name?

Jeanette

89. do you ever use internet explorer?

wtf people still use internet explorer??

90. have you ever had blonde hair?

nope

91. is their a play park near your house?

yup, its like right in front of my house

92. when did you last see the person you have a crush on?

never had a crush on anyone so 

93. who did you last talk to on the phone?

my mom

94. pants or dresses?

pants

95. do you read fan fiction?

yup

96. what is you’re favourite blog?

i dont really have a favorite blog

97. do you write poetry?

nope

98. drama or comedy?

uh comedy i guess

99. have you ever had a hickey?

nope

100. Your own question that you want me to answer

Q: How’s my fave tuna doing? 

hi alyssa! i havent been doing much lately but im doing good. 

[pineappuu-pineappley]

women question thingy cuz im bored

GENERAL WOMANHOOD: 1. Do you like the color pink? nnnot really? pastel pink is kinda cool i guess 2. Did you play with Barbie dolls as a child? ye 3. How easily do you cry? not very? but more so now than before 4. What food do you eat the most of when you’re sad? i eat whatever tbh i dont sad eat? 5. How often do you experience boob sweat? whenever i sweat zz 6. How moody are you when you are you are on your period? doesnt really matter? idk 7. Have you ever thought you were pregnant because your period was late? binch i dont even get a text back i cant have sex HAHAHA 8. Have you ever been on the pill? no, but like my periods are so fucking bizarre so idk but ??? 9. Would you ever want to have children someday? tbh idk i guess but im still too young to decide lol 10. Have you ever given birth? If not, would you ever want to? no, and idk yet :v 11. How good of a cook do you consider yourself? a little above average because i just throw food in without recipes and stuff but my mother is a wizard 12. What is your favorite thing to cook? egg.. ngl its just crack dat bitch and cook it its easy af HAHA  13. Can you sew? ye i guess but not actual clothes 14. Do you consider yourself a feminist? i think so, but like i’m not “active” and also wtf is wrong with “feminists” that want death to men like seriously you’re also part of the problem yall crazy 15. How do you define “girl power?” power specifically for girls, may it be over their body or themselves?? 16. Have you ever wished you were born a male? a little but only cuz that one time i think i was gay for a friend and it would be much easier to come to terms with it, speaking of which i dont even know my sexuality but i dont really care LOL 17. Breastfeeding or formula? breastfeeding  18. What is your opinion of equal pay? its important!! but then if we’re not looking at gender its unfair if someone who does jackshit gets the same pay as someone working their literal ass off. instead of adjusting based on gender why not adjust it based on work done? if you slack off u get a pay cut if u work hard you get a raise? 19. Are you pro-life or pro-choice? ah shit uh, i think i’m both??? (that makes no sense) like i know i have no right to force someone to do something but at least maybe i’d like to talk to them about it? a life is a life /shrugs/ but ultimately it is not my choice to make if it’s not my situation, all i can do is to maybe let someone understand the morality behind say abortion. HOWEVER!!! i think birth control for period management because of certain conditions is good and this shouldn’t be taken away from people who need it!! I’m just so !!! at women getting refused treatment for a spontaneous abortion or whatever because its an abortion, but the body rejected the foetus all on its own!! she has a right to healthcare!! (i saw this on a documentary on abortion in the ph iirc and like refusing someone treatment because its not moral to “fully abort” a foetus, even though it’s already aborted by the BODY ITSELF and not by other MEANS is literally not caring for the person who needs the HELP?!?!!?? its more immoral to refuse healthcare to her than to give her healthcare to abort the foetus because the body aborted it by itself it is spontaneous sometimes it happens okay?????) 20. Have you ever experienced any sexism? If so, please explain. i dont think so tbh 21. What is one thing about women you think most men don’t know? not everyone wants your dick in their vagina shut the fuck up HAHA 22. Complete this phrase: I’m so glad I’m a woman because______. i’m not burdened by society rules about hugging my friends and make up? i have no idea tbh i’m just eh about everything am i even a woman HAHAHA

LIFE EXPERIENCES: 23. Have you ever been a Girl Scout? no 24. Have you ever been a ballerina? noo 25. Have you ever been a cheerleader? no 26. Were you ever voted as a homecoming or prom queen? can we eat prom? 27. Have you ever hosted a sleepover? yeah i guess but its just because my friends dont wanna walk one block home its great HAHA 28. Do you belong to a sorority? we dont have those things in here 29. Have you ever kept a diary or a journal? i used to keep a diary when i was a kid now i just want a bujo but where s my shit 30. American ladies: did you vote for Hillary Clinton? not american PHYSICAL APPEARANCE: 31. What is the longest your hair has ever been? a v-cut where the longest was at my asscrack 32. Have you ever cut your hair super short? shaved it for hair for hope uvu 33. What hairstyle do you wear the most? either down with a side parting or up/half-up in a hairstick, at home just an ugly ass bun. like my hair is nice but the style is meh 34. Have you ever dyed your hair? no, im afraid of spoiling it 35. What is the heaviest you have ever weighed? now im always heavy lmao  36. How muscular are you? i have some muscle in my calves and the top of my arms but im 90% fat so 37. Are your ears pierced? one on each lobe 38. Do you have any piercings anywhere besides your ears? nah 39. Do you have any tattoos? If so, of what and where? noo 40. How often do you wear lipstick or lipgloss? almost never, if i wear makeup i still forget about it LOL 41. How often do you paint your nails? rarely 42. Have you ever worn any fake eyelashes or fake nails? yes at both but fake nails dont survive  43. How often do you shave/wax your legs? i never did  44. How white are your teeth? eh not very but its not stained v badly i guess 45. What do you think is your best physical feature? my softness? 46. What do you think is your worst physical feature? fats HAHA 47. Do you have a “look” (i.e. a mad/annoyed/upset stare)? blur face 48. How good are you at communicating through facial expressions? i dont i just make potato faces FASHION STYLE: 49. What is your favorite fashion brand? prolly iora or lalu or something i think they have korean-ish/school-girl ish aesthetic  50. Do you wear skirts and dresses at all? If so, how often? ye, not v often because school is anal about it :) 51. What is your dress size? dunno but i think im like a L-XL depending on cut? 52. Do you wear any high heels or stilettos at all? If so, how often? no, dont own any 53. Have you ever worn high heels casually? no? not really nah 54. How often do you wear a bra? only in public or when non-family members are in the house 55. Does it matter if your bra and panties match or not? i alternate between only 2 bras i dont care 56. Which are you more likely to go without: a bra or panties? i forgot to wear a bra like 3 times in my life two of which i already had noticecable boobs 57. How much of your underwear is white? i have a few now? 58. Have you ever worn a skirt or a dress without any panties underneath? yo wtf dont get ur vag juices everywhere omg also everything is dirty dont do that 59. What is the shortest length of skirts and dresses you are comfortable wearing? if i fold the butt part to wrap my butt and it manages to cover my entire butt i guess but only if i have safety shorts 60. How expensive was your prom dress? shit idr 61. What clothing item do you own the most of (if shirts, be specific to what kind)? t-shirts (but not anymore-) 62. How much jewelry do you typically wear? a pair of earrings, used to have a necklace but i havent got a new chain yet 63. How much makeup do you typically wear? either full face or none, twice before concealer + eyeliner thats it 64. Do you like eyeshadow? THAT SHITE BOMB 65. Do you carry a purse? i prefer a bigger bag because i bring way too much shit 66. What is your preferred way to carry a purse: In your hand, on your elbow, or on your elbow? slung on my shoulder 67. How big is your closet? not very 68. Have you ever looked through your closet an thought “I have nothing to wear”? YES WTF BC I LOOK LIKE A HOBO (also i literally keep running out of shirts nowadays) 69. Have you ever worn the same outfit more than once? ya what do u think i am a diva? HAHA 70. One-piece swimsuits or bikinis? t-shirt and shorts 71. Have you ever worn a mismatched bikini? i never put my body into a bikini 72. Do you like tube and halter tops fat arms man :v 73. Do you like crop tops? they look aesthetic af but just not on me HAHAHAH 74. Are you comfortable showing off a little cleavage? ye i guess WEDDING CRAZE: 75. Have you ever been a bridesmaid? no but i’ve been flower girl multiple times 76. Would you ever want to get married? i guess 77. For how long have you thought about your wedding? i dont even have a crush rn so i never even thought of it 78. How much of your wedding do you already have planned out? -100% 79. Indoor or outdoor wedding? church wedding preferable in an airconditioned one imean- HAHAHA 80. Would you want to have a lot of bridesmaids or just a couple? i dont have a lot of friends DATING & RELATIONSHIPS: 81. What is your current relationship status? single as a pringle never gonna mingle 82. Do you consider yourself a hopeless romantic? no 83. Are you a virgin? If not, which gender did you lose your virginity to? yes 84. What personality trait are you most attracted to? shit uh, (judging on my 2d biases) cheerful puppy type? 85. Have you ever been on a blind date? no 86. Has anyone ever tried to set you up on a date? noo 87. Do you kiss on a first date? no  88. How often do guys hit on you? never HAHA 89. Have you ever kissed another woman? If so, did you like it? shIt ya and ya, go away 90. Have you ever dated another woman? i almost did? 91. Is sex before marriage wrong? IT’S AGAINST THE MORAL ORDER!!! according to my religion but also even if it’s not religion its good to only give yourself to another after marriage uvu. but idk 92. After how long would you start to consider a relationship to be serious? i dont know maybe a year? LOL idek if someone can stand being with my after 2 weeks 93. Would you rather your lover give you chocolate or flowers? steak.. or like meat or like good food ENTERTAINMENT: 94. What celebrity do you most admire? i dont- know-? 95. Do you like romantic comedies? Any favorites? eh dont think so 96. Do you have a favorite romantic movie? no 97. Who is your favorite Disney princess? mulan? MERIDA? idk 98. What is your favorite Disney song? shit idk 99. Do you watch The Bachelor or The Bachelorette? whats that 100. Have you ever watched Sex & The City? no 101. Have you ever watched any shows such as Project Runway or America’s Next Top Model? yeah but like random episodes on the tv with my mom, i rather watch masterchef junior but not with the newer seasons cuz my bro said the way they made it is like poo 102. Do you read romantic novels? If so, do you have any recommendations? im like -100% romantic please stop 103. Beyonce or Taylor Swift? beyonce maybe 104. Oprah Winfrey or Ellen DeGeneres? ellen? idk  A PILE OF RANDOMNESS: 105. Are you named after anyone? Dionne Warwick (not celine dion stop this shit i will fight you) 106. How many male friends do you have? nnnot many? i’m close to steffy tho yes bless uvu  107. Have you ever called your female friends your girlfriends? i can barely type “i love you” i cannot with cheesy shit so hazukashit 108. Have you ever called a non-lover a term such as honey, dear, babe, or darling? ye i call friendos bebe or something but only through text because im shy LOL 109. Have you ever dotted your I’s with a heart or a smiley face? hearts, i stopped bc a teacher was like “lol” in front of the entire class thanks 110. How many items do you own that are of a floral print design? idk but floral prints are nice 111. Name five things you always have in your purse. (not including phone and wallet) lipbalm (that i never use), axe oil (running out), vicks, tigerbalm (why do i have 2), blotting paper (also dont really use) 112. Have you ever lost anything inside your purse? my sanity jk idk 113. Have you ever carried a spare pair of underwear with you in your purse? only pads 114. What is the most amount of money you’ve ever spent in one single shopping trip? idk $60 maybe idk weep i spend it all online 115. Do you consider shopping a sport? no wtf but walking around a lot is a pain so i guess it could be 116. Have you ever used your cleavage or a bra as a purse? i use a bad stop with the purse i carry too much shit 117. Coffee or tea? tea 118. Can you do the splits? i will only split my pants and muscles open so no 119. Do you do any yoga? no 120. Have you ever been told that to have cute handwriting? yea but i think it’s messy and ugly and changes too often 121. How well can you write in cursive? look at 120 122. Have you ever successfully been on a diet? no fuck that 123. Do you or have you ever belonged to a book club? no 124. Have you ever talked yourself out of a driving ticket by using your looks? no lmao i dont even drive 125. Have you ever drank a non-alcoholic beverage out of a wine glass? i guess? 126. Showers or baths? showers 127. Have you ever tried using a toilet while standing up? ya its horrible because u dont have a dick to aim 128. Have you ever been considered the mother of your group of friends? ye actually- 129. Do you own any sex toys? no HAHA RATINGS: 130. From 1-10, how feminine do you consider yourself? 6? 131. From 1-10, how much are you like your mother? 7-8 132. From 1-10, how much do you look like your mother? 5 because i smile like her but a lot of people say i look like my dad 133. From 1-10, how much are you like your father? 3 he’s chill im not 134. From 1-10, how polite are you? depends but maybe 7 135. From 1-10, how cute do you consider your laugh? -11 136. From 1-10, how strict are you about manners? 5? 137. From 1-10, how much of a neat freak are you? 6 but my handwriting is shit 138. From 1-10, how much of a hopeless romantic are you? -11 139. From 1- 10, how healthy do you eat? 6? its Meat > veggies > fish (but cuz i dont like how fish is cooked here? i love meat but i need veg to live too but i dont like salads give me roasted veg or stir fry veg or veg soops uvu) 140. From 1-10, how much do you like decorating for holidays?  4?