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wizkiddx · 3 years

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hiii!!! omg please please pleasee do a part two of 3 hearts broken cus it fucking slaps miss girl

part 2 to 3 broken hearts!!! ive been so 🥺 at all the lovely comments+interest pt 1 had so thanku all !

summary: serious serious angst again will tom somehow get it back (unlike looking cos boy is a fool)

warnings: again lots of swearing (im British sorry not sorry) / wayyyy too much tea / slating Dom abit (obvs fictional but idk if I like the guy sorry his opinions are :/) / commitment issues

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read part 1 here!!!!

That was three days ago now. Three days since you'd spoken to your boyfrien- well, Tom. It wasn't evident what the situation was.

The typical British weather brought with it the most ironic pathetic fallacy you could ever see. The clouds were dark and glooming, firing angry pellets of rain out as hard as they could. When you had pulled up on the roadside, it had just been a light drizzle but synchronised with your anxiety levels rising - so did the rain. When you finally opened up the car door, you threw your hoodie open with a sigh before running up the pathway to the front door.

It was the same burgundy red that you knew so well, but this time instead of just letting yourself in - you stood in the rain used the brass knocker thing twice. To be honest, you were hoping that no one was home - but in that house, it was pretty unlikely. After 30 seconds of getting drenched in the downpour, you were about to let yourself in with the spare key before the door swung open.

"Oh! Er Y/n?"

"Yeh um hi." You had to shout a bit over the sound of what must now be classified as a storm.

"Toms not-"

"I know. Can I come in?" As awkward and stunted as this conversation was, if you didn't get out of the rain asap you would literally end up drowned.

“Oh er yeh-yeh yeh come in.”

Harry stammered as he held the door open, gesturing for you to enter into the tiled hallway. Gratefully, you followed, throwing your sopping wet hood back down and wiping your feet on the floor.

"Sorry for just showing up, but I left some scripts here. My management are on my arse to read them and-"

"And you waited till Tom left for mum and dads?" The fluffy-haired boy has caught you red-handed; there was no defence, so you didn't even try.

Because yes, you knew on a Friday afternoon when Tom was home he would always, like clockwork, go to his parents just to kick back and watch gogglebox with both of them. It was only natural then that you chose Friday afternoon to come and pick up your stuff.

"I've been waiting in my car for half an hour till I saw him leave." Harry half laughed at that, still the two of you standing opposite each other in the hallway. "Um, do you… do you hate me Harry?"

Clearly, he hadn't quite been expecting your question going by the way his eyes almost bugged out his head.

"No, I-I, of course, I don't… look, I'm home alone so you fancy a cuppa?" Not being able to help the small chuckle, you nodded appreciatively, following Harry through the house.

"Your answer to everything is tea."

Harry had prepared the two mugs in silence as you sat at the table waiting patiently - if nervously too. You didn't miss how Harry had still used your favourite mug, having had to dig through the cupboard to find the weird square-shaped thing. Once done, he rounded the kitchen island and placed it in front of you, which you instantly cradled in two hands - for the hope of warming you up.

"You cold?" Obviously, it was pretty evident that sitting in your rain-soaked hoodie was not cosy at all. "Hang on a sec."

The boy sprung up again, returning moments later with a hoodie in hand, one he offered out to you with a little smile. The issue was that him and Tom shared clothes, so the hoodie he was kindly offering to you also had been worn by Tom before. Which made it hurt a little bit to wear. It was better than sitting soaked through though.

"How have you been then?"

"Not the best, to be honest, but uh… how about you?"

"Being with Tom while he's fighting with you? Oh, it's a barrel of laughs. You might've escaped it, but I haven't." He was trying to lighten the mood, and you appreciated it, offering him a half-smile that didn't really meet your eyes.

"Yeh sorry about that."

"Don't apologise; it doesn't sound like it's your fault Y/n."

That surprised you. Tom, especially when he was in moods like he was when you argued, wasn't one to admit when he was wrong. It was usually how the world was against him and how he was so hard done by. Accepting responsibility was something he hadn't said to you yet - but at least, small steps.

"He say that?"

"Pretty much… doesn't seem like he's angry at you, but-but he's still angry."

"At the world?" You rolled your eyes; this seemed to be the same old Tom through and through. Still immature. Still not with the right mindset.

"At himself." Harry countered, slightly entertained, when he saw the flash of surprise in your face as he sipped his drink. "And me… if I dare to so much as breathe this week."

This time you properly laughed, and Harry joined in too before the room fell back to silence - except the noise of the rain hitting the garden patio slats. You swirled the tea round in your mug, feeling the brunette's eyes on you. He'd always been your fake little brother too, since you'd met the Hollands way back 3 and a half years ago. Tom and yourself were barely adults, which meant the twins were still proper children. Harry had always been the one that understood you. Hollands, by nature, loved humans - loved to talk, to chat, to gossip. But sometimes, doing all that socialising got too much for you, as it did for Harry. He was the only one that seemed to understand social exhaustion. So when those moments had hit, you'd kept each other company in silence.

He got you, sometimes in ways your own boyfriend didn't.

"You know why he got so worked up, right?" You shook your head, looking up curiously. "Dad got under his skin on his birthday zoom thing."

Ah, now that did seem to coincide with the start of Tom's more petulant phase. To be fair, Tom had been asking to move in together for near enough a year now - but it was only in the past month it seemed to be the only thing you'd talk about and obviously only three days since the flight back. Dom's birthday barely a week ago, whilst you and Tom were both filming - except Tom had managed to get a day off where you hadn't. So you hadn't heard this conversation.

"What'd he say?"

"Was talking about how he and mum were settling down at Toms age, joked about how you rejected him, said maybe you were holding out for something better."

"Something better?" Harry sighed, leaning forward onto his elbows.

"He'd seen an article just off a trashy tabloid… it named you Hollywood's golden girl or something, said you could have the pick of any person on the planet…"

Of all the people in the world, why is Tom affected by shit journalism? He knows how much bullshit people write. He knows how it's all made up, exaggerated nonsense. And what he should know, completely and totally, is how much you love him. And if he didn't, was that your fault? Had you done something wrong, something to make him doubt you?

Harry seemed to notice the internal dialogue going on in your head, adding to the point. "It wasn't the article though, it was the fact dad said it."

Hmmm.

You and Dom got on; it wasn't like you hated the possible future father in law or whatever. Just…. you had very different outlooks. As much as Tom prided himself on how' grounded his family keeps him' -to you at least, they aren't entirely at sea level either. They'd never really had any particular struggles in life. They were the definition of middle class, and that's about it. They lived in a posh suburb of London, had all their family still around. It was the perfect family.

And whilst you were in no illusions about how privileged your life was now. It hadn't always been. You'd never had the 'nuclear' family. Instead, only your dad and a string of dodgy and fleeting stepmothers while struggling to make ends meet. So you were just always wary of Dom, of his opinions that so often his boys took for gospel. They always seemed pretty sheltered and close-minded.

And yet, Tom was a grown man.

"I get that, I just… Tom should know that we know more about our relationship than his dad. I mean,… have I done something wrong? Made him think I'm not in this for the long haul?"

"No nonono Y/n he's just… well he's an idiot, isn't he? I don't think he properly understands why you're cautious about moving and everything. He's just an idio- "

Harry was cut off for lightly insulting his brother by the sound of the front door opening, both of your heads swivelling towards the source. You then met Harry's eyes in a panic, to which he replied relatively simply.

"Just talk to each other. For my sake." You would've argued if it weren't for the fact you were so focused on Tom's shuffling around in the entrance hallway - back early from his parents.

"Baz? Where you at? I thought I saw Y/n's car and-"

"Kitchen!!!" Before Tom could say anything else, possibly landing himself in more trouble, Harry interrupted as his chair screeched while standing up. And then Tom was just there. Standing in the doorway, his arms dropping limply to his side as he noticed you. Everything about that moment seemed to freeze, when you locked eyes with him for the first time in three days. It didn't go unnoticed, the way his Adams apple bobbed, the way his eyes widen. The boy looked plain and simply terrified.

It was Harry who broke the silence, after giving you a stern look that said 'stay'. The younger Holland boy walked up to Tom and spoke.

"Try actually talking and actually listening about your problems with each other." And then he was gone, down the hallway and up the stairs.

For a few moments, Tom stayed absolutely stationary, now staring at where Harry had been when speaking to the both of you (but mainly Tom). Long enough to put your sense of unease at an all-time high, ready to make a break for it.

"If you don't want to talk, then I can leav-"

"NO!" Apparently snapping out of it, Tom exclaimed loud enough to make you flinch from your seat. "Sorry! I-I just… I wasn't expecting to… you know, to see you."

"Yeh I just uh- just came to pick up some scripts… Harry cornered me with a tea, though; otherwise, I'd be…."

"Baz thinks the whole world could be fixed with tea."

"that's what I said!" You instinctively responded, forgetting the fact you're supposed to be mad at him, and just for a second falling back into your normal flow.

Tom didn't even try to hide his grin in response, until you quickly corrected your face- then he did too. Turning around to put the kettle on for himself. Because right now, he needed to fix his whole world, and he needed all the help he could get. For a period, the only noise was the sound of the kettle boiling, then the teaspoon clinking against the mug as he stirred - until he padded over, taking the seat across from you.

"So."

"It's been a while," Tom stated the bloody obvious.

"You never called."

"Didn't think you'd want me to."

You thought that the early signs weren't all that auspicious. His ability to read a situation once again failing.

"I wanted you to say something."

"Say what?"

"What do you think Tom?" He replied to the sarcastic tone by sucking in a sharp breath, holding it for a second, before slowly exhaling. As if trying to compose himself, take time to think of a response - a mature move for him.

"Well, I think you want me to say sorry? For being so moody and not waiting for you and for upsetting those kids. And thanks too, for covering for me?"

You just hummed. Waiting for him to continue. Because yes, you did deserve all those things. But you also deserved more. An apology for, oh I don't know, saying he didn't think you loved him? It was a wait that never ended, he had nothing more to add.

"Going by your face, I take it I missed something?"

The bloody cheek of it.

"Theres nothing else? Nothing else at all? …" You gave him that chance, the opportunity but all he could respond with was a shake of his head. "You thought I was fine about you saying that I don't love you?" You hadn't intended on raising your voice, but really you hadn't realised you did till after the fact. To blinded by rage at his ignorance.

"You want to talk about this now?"

"When else Tom?" You sighed, realising he perhaps wasn't ready for this conversation. Maybe he needed more time to think things through, have sense talked into him by various wiser family members. Or maybe, he never would be. That was the worst-case scenario. But also… you're most likely prediction.

He shuffled in his seat, clearing his voice but not saying anything. Not a peep.

"I have spent three years of my life with you. I've had countless nights of too little sleep because that was the only time you could facetime. I've exposed my relationship to the world and people's opinions because you didn't want to hide. All I've done is love you. How could you even say that?" There might've been tears in your eyes, yet you were determined to keep them at bay. You needed to have this out, one way or another, to be clear and cohesive and logical. No time to cry.

"Y/n I know that, I…" He sighed, instinctively reaching for your hand, but you were quicker to pull it away. There was hurt in his eyes, but so there should be. "It just sometimes feels like that's it for you. That yeh you love me but you just want to standstill. That this is as much as it'll ever be."

Your emotions were suddenly uncontainable. Your voice croaked as you whispered, "Have I done something wrong?"

"No love, nonono if that's how you feel then that's okay. But it's something I'm not… shit this is hard." He took a pause to take a sip of his drink, your glazed eyes never leaving his. "I don't think I can stand still anymore. And yeh I was pissy and childish the other day because my dad got under my skin about the whole moving in thing… But these past few days, it just has got me thinking. Because I love you, so much."

This time when he reached out to grab your hand, you actually leaned into it yourself. Not because you were giving in, but because this hurt. This hurt so fucking much that you needed something to ground you, or else god knows. Because the way he was speaking, it sounded so finite.

"I love you too."

"I do know, which is…is why this is so hard." At the very least, Tom had conceded that.

The conversation ceased to silence yet again. The room felt so cold; even Tom/Harry's hoodie was doing nothing to keep you from the endless empty cold that seemed to be coming from within.

"When I re-registered my health card last month, and I made you my emergency contact on it. I-I made you my next of kin on everything actually. I didn't think about it twice. And-and this-"You pulled your phone out of your back pocket, immediately pulling up the app onto the open page. "This is my Pinterest board for our baby's nursery theme. I know-" You paused, to quickly wipe your cheeks clear of the tear tracks that may or may not have been there. "I know it's probably a long way away, but I just love the Scandinavian theme." You laughed at yourself, suddenly embarrassed at your blabbering and quickly pulled up a different app. "And this… this was from the other week when I was helping Y/bf/n start her vows." Hands trembling as you turned the phone around for Tom to see again. "She was finding it really tricky so she said, what would you say to Tom on your wedding, so-so I made this list." You only dared to look at him when you were sure he'd be reading through that note.

It was bizarre because he looked… well, he looked happy. Here you were feeling traumatised, showing things that you'd barely even deeped how committed they were - and he was pleased? Feeling the fire burn once again inside of your chest, you quickly swiped the phone away and back into your pocket. Only then did he look up, eyes widening - presumably at quite how psychotic you looked.

"So don't you dare say that I don't want a future with you."

You said it with such force, there was a pause. Tom letting those words sink deep into his brain. The way his expression flickered minutely gave you hope. You thought he got it. You thought he really understood now.

"But why don't you want to move in then?"

There it was again. He knew why. But he didn't get it. And, probably, he never would.

You were about to crash completely. So you ran. As fast as your legs could carry you, not even aware of your chair crashing to the floor in your wake. You ran out of that house and away from him. Away from who you had thought was the love of your life.

?give tom a final chance w one last part?

feedback is always v v appreciated <3

tom taglist : @lovehollandy12 @hollandlover19 @thefernandasantana @hunnybunimdun @hallecarey1@cedricdiggorysimpp @msmimimerton @hollandfanficlove @pandaxnienke @crossyourpeter @thegirlwiththeimpala @tom-softie @sunwardsss @spiitfiiires @radcloudenthusiast @ladykxxx08

people i think might be interestd in this (sorry if not just let me know and i'll remove the tag!!!): @obiwanownsmyass @wildxwidow @parkersvogue @coffeewithoutcaffeine @tomhollandlol @thefallenbibliophilequote @clumsymandu @hiraethenthusiast @mannien @abrielleholland @evermorehabit @niallberry @greatpizzascissorstaco @runawayolives @annathesillyfriend @letsgotothemoonlight @lovelybarnes

#tom x reader #tom holland fic #tomholland #tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst #famous!reader #tom holland x famous!reader #tom holland x actress!reader #harry holland

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backtoyuta · 3 years

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NCT 127: How they would be as coworkers in a shitty office

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❁ [Taeil] King of the welcome wagon; If it was your first day working in a small dinky business, Taeil will make it his sole responsibility to make the environment as inviting as possible. After all, the business wasn't some glamorous well known company, nor was it an exciting new start up, so Taeil made it his mission to paint the office as pretty as he could before you could decide if the job was too boring to keep. If you ask any of his co-workers they'll tell you nobody put him in charge of welcoming the newbie, but it seemed everybody but you noticed him do a double take at the receptionist's desk where you waited to be shown around. Soft moments included him making you a coffee every time he left to make his own, making a point of clearing a little space in the communal fridge for your lunch and hanging around while trying to maintain a respectful distance in case you had any queries so he could be the first to answer them. If you were low-key dreading your first day, you kinda forget about the nerves quickly because of his kindness and tells you cheerfully "See, we don't bite." Will make sure you have everything you need, down to the last sticky note and ball point pen, and smiles bashfully at you when you go to thank him.

❁ [Johnny] cheesy office romance; It was quite impressive really, the fact that Johnny managed to unlock every single office romance cliche you could think of and he wasn't subtle about it either. Though there was no policy really about dating co-workers, the whole situation was a tiny bit embarrassing given the blatant flirting from the titan walking around in his shirt and tie, always throwing devilish smiles from over the photocopier. Even if his desk was miles away from yours, there would always be an excuse to stroll by your work space to drop off some paperwork personally, or remind you of the meeting happening in the afternoon despite the email reminder going around. Johnny really put his bladder through it since he now took too frequent trips to the water cooler that was so conveniently placed next to your desk. The whole office gagged when you finally agreed to go for drinks after work. The hours were spent buying each other pints and admiring him with his tie loosened and shirt sleeves rolled up, revealing the delicate tattoos that decorated the skin there before calling it a night and letting him kiss you on your porch after walking you home. You kind of became the height of office gossip, which Johnny thrived in, but you couldn't really be mad when you were dating that tall glass of water after all.

❁ [Taeyong] The receptionist with first aid training; Stapling your finger was embarrassing enough, imagine the heat flooding your cheeks when the receptionist appears at your desk clutching the first aid kit, big kind eyes glancing at your finger empathetically. Taeyong was the first face you saw when you walked through the door, that alone making a wonderful first impression, also he was a very diligent worker. He never made a fuss when you asked him to fax something, make a memo or photocopy, and when you had to ring the office because you left your keycard and needed to be let in, he laughed that off with you too while assuring that it happened all the time. On the blasted day you aimed the stapler at your paper but instead caught your finger, Taeyong was the first to perk from behind his desk at your exclamation of "Ow!" and was by your side before you knew it. He apologised profusely at the sting of an anti-bacterial wipe and wrapped your finger gingerly in a plaster, his chair scooted towards you and your knees bumping occasionally. You were pretty sure every female in the office was crushing on him and you were one of many, but you couldn't help the blush when you received a private IM chat asking if you wanted to get coffee after work: "Date? :)" he wrote at the end of the message. You wasted no time typing on your computer a reply, sneaking a glance at his face from behind the desk and exchanging a smile before looking busy once again.

❁ [Yuta] The guy that lowkey terrified you; Yuta was the co-worker that, whether it was on purpose or not, pushed you away with sheer intimidation and sinfully good looks. When you first encountered him in the office you were sure he was a model undercover, and when that was debunked you were sure he must have had a much higher level and higher paying job than you. His presence read corporate, the cologne you sometimes caught a whiff of smelt expensive and you could easily picture him in a big leather chair in a tall glass building barking orders at people. What surprised you was behind the intimidating aura, lay the humility of any of your other co-workers. All it took was one painfully awkward conversation in the break room and with the power of pointless small talk you learnt that his weekend plans didn't involve a modelling side hustle like you expected, but rather being a homebody, watching animated movies and cooking dinner for one instead. When you did finally enter an established relationship with him, expect impulsive moments like being tugged into the copier room so he can press his lips to yours and run his hands through your hair, or intense staring contests when other male co-workers demanded your attention. Overall, he was terrifying, but his redeemable qualities involved making dates after work so you had something to look forward to, buying your favourite cake during office parties and volunteering to do overtime with you so you would always be entertained.

❁ [Doyoung] The manager that scares you shitless; For the position of local branch manager, Doyoung exuded way more power and intimidation than what was probably warranted. Maybe that was why he managed to get the branch performing so well, everybody dreaded being called into his office for "friendly chitchat" after making a small mistake. When you first arrived, you steered as clear from him as possible, only venturing near his office when absolutely needed. What you didn't see was the way he would watch you intently in your little office nook, always appreciating how hard you worked and how cute you looked in your office get-up. You often squirmed at the amount of eye-contact he gave you when he ran meetings and you would glance around to see if anyone else was experiencing the same thing. Nope, just you. When he did call you into his office that one time you were quaking in your shoes. You had already convinced yourself you were fired before you had even reached his office door, but the feeling was replaced soon enough with confusion when he did eventually speak to you. "I just wanted to ask... would you be interested in.... this corporate training program?" He rushed. My god, your boss was just as awkward as the next bumbling guy. It would be a while before he asked you on an official date, dinner for two, also quite a bit of paperwork to fill out with HR, but you would come to realise his icy exterior wasn't all that icy when he wasn't in work-mode.

❁ [Jaehyun] The temp that never left; Jaehyun was fresh from university, now venturing into the world of work but still had the boyish aura that set him apart from the rest of the men in the office. From the way he spoke to you over lunch in the break room you could tell he was full of ambition, but also didn't seem to be in any rush to leave this job any time soon. Jaehyun was the guy who you initially tried not to get too close to, since you were under the impression that he would be leaving after completing the temporary placement and when he left it would hurt like a bitch. However, you could have sworn his placement ended like a month ago, but eventually you learnt that he somehow managed to talk himself into a full-time position. "Oh that, yeah, I guess I just realised I had more reasons to stay." He shrugged as casually as he could when you asked about it. You couldn't deny that you were happy, not when you saw his smiling face in the conference room saving you a seat, hearing his outrageous stories from uni and always being the two to get a little too drunk at corporate parties and being sent home in a taxi of shame. Romance blossomed when you remembered that one drunken kiss in the backseat and you both bonded when your boss gave you the cold shoulder after arriving to work a little more than dishevelled and with a hangover.

❁ [Jungwoo] Desk buddy; Honestly, who could hate their job when they had a sweet Jungwoo sitting at the desk adjacent to theirs. You kinda scored when your boss appointed you this specific desk because Jungwoo took to you almost embarrassingly quick. It made your heart swell looking at all the little knick knacks on his desk; toys to fiddle with and colourful sticky notes, this was just one part of his persona. You were a little shocked when he offered you a cigarette during the lunch break, kind of exposing a duality you didn't know existed, but nobody could be that wholesome of a person. Monday to Friday 9-5 was filled with Jungwoo ping-ponging back and forth between these traits, any off handed comments he would mutter to you when the boss was giving an announcement or the conversations you would overhear him having with a friend over the phone would remind you he wasn't a total puppy of a human being. However, the way he always offered to share a snack and would flick paper and notes at you playfully was also very much him being himself. You always fluttered a little at the smirk he would throw your way when your manager was talking something boring or ridiculous, it seemed those smirks were only reserved for you. It didn't take long before he became your best friend in the office, if he wasn't in that day you were in the right mind to just call it quits yourself (and vice versa), he was the guy that made the long hours that much more bearable.

❁ [Mark] The bumbling intern; When it came to responsibilities in the work place, you tried to delegate as little of that as possible to Mark the intern. It was cute really, the guy put in 110% effort into his tasks and yet when it came to coffee orders, photocopying or sending out a memo, something nearly always went wrong. You couldn't help but admire his enthusiasm, also that he made an effort to know everybody in the office, including the cleaners. Mark was one of the first people to greet you when you joined, waving around a little notebook of Starbucks orders and a company card to splurge, urging you to write down whatever you wanted. A simple task right? Rookie mistake. Bless him, you would never tell him how his mistake of getting full dairy rather than the soy you requested led to a night on and off the toilet, but that just scratched the surface of his office blunders. Somehow, he never cost the company too much, but there was a reason why the poor boy never got promoted beyond intern. He wasn't deterred though, he'd lean up against your desk while you made idle chit chat and he'd tell you that he liked his job and he didn't aspire to be the best in this business. Where he really proved himself was during company functions, you'll never forget during the annual employee bbq when he asked you your favourite song so he could sing it melodically accompanied skilfully with a guitar. Mark's contributions to the work place were always a little unpredictable, but he kept things interesting and people, including you, genuinely enjoyed having him around.

❁ [Haechan] Probably the reason you get fired; Even in the workplace, Haechan can't deny himself a bit of mischief. He made a stellar first impression by rocking up half an hour late, sending your boss a half arsed apology and plonking down at the desk across the room from yours. To be honest, he kind of annoyed you at first, his attitude came off immature and you didn't appreciate how distracting he was when you had work to do. However, things started to change at some point. Haechan was the guy that convinced you to ditch the office party and sit on the rooftop with him to watch the city lights, the guy that sent out ridiculous memos just to catch you smile and the guy eventually became the reason for you own demise after he started picking you up for breakfast most mornings. When the manager called you in his office after being late the third time in a row, you ducked your head and mumbled something about traffic while hiding a croissant wrapper in your pocket, Haechan covered a laugh with a cough and apologised on behalf of both of you. When you asked him about why he never seemed to give a shit about anything, you learnt that it was because he had a taste for adventure; "Don't tell me you wanna stay and work here forever? Don't you wanna do something more... exciting with your life?" He asked you incredulously, like the answer was obvious. He kinda got you, no, you didn't want to work in a dingy office for the rest of you life. To be honest, when he painted a picture of moving to a big city, or taking a road trip, or just fucking off to the suburbs you didn't hate the sound of that either. When you were both sat there in your manager's office, signing off on a severance package, you weren't even mad. You didn't have time to be, Haechan was already clasping your hand and leading you to his car and laughing about finally being free, tugging his tie from around his neck whilst driving no where in particular- the start of an adventure.

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typicalmidnightsoul · 4 years

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Icarus, her moon and her sun

After Emerie finds out the tangled History between her best friend and her lover Emerie is hesitant to make her relationship with Morrigan known. She wonders if she could avoid the rejection she would face by keeping her relationship a secret. Also considering the state Nesta was in.... it wouldn’t be good to let her know...right?

A/N: ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAVE WRITTEN IM SORRY SKL IS TAKING THE PISS xx anyway love you all please leave me a comment and likes and reblog 🥰🥰 a lotta you guys wanted this so here ya go

Icarus and the Sun. The Forbidden love story. That’s what their love was like, that's how she loved her. Too close and too much. All it would take would be one peek behind the curtain and her heart would be there. Holding her hand. Her lover was the Sun, and she was Icarus. The only difference is that her wings had been snatched away from her before the Sun had come along.

Emerie.

“Emerie!”

Fingers clicked in her vision and Emerie looked up, “Hmm?” She was sitting opposite Nesta and Gywn on the dining table, breakfast lay before them. Nesta cocked her head,

“Where’d you go?”

Emerie waved off the concern in her eyes, and asked her to continue, Nesta gave her a last worried glance and carried on talking about her current read, explaining the world building skill to them both in detail.

Emerie smiled. Icarus, the sun and...her. Nesta.

Emerie’s moon. Nesta may be Gwyn’s sun but she was Emerie’s moon. She was the clarity Emerie had once longed for. She was the consistency and care Emerie needed as a child. She is the hand that always holds on. She will always be there for her yet unlike the moon in the love story of Icarus and the Sun, Nesta was never jealous of Emerie. On the contrary, Emerie could tell from the notes she got in the morning asking her if she ate, or the fresh flowers that filled her vase every morning, or the abundance of spices and teas she got every month, that Nesta Archeron in fact loved her to bits. And Emerie loved her. Nesta was an essential part of her...one Emerie knew she would never be able to let go without shattering to pieces.

Emerie watched now as Nesta tipped her head back and laughed at Gwyn’s comment - those eyes of ice and silver twinkling with joy, her honey-coloured hair dancing in the rays of the sun. She was perfect…

...and stupid because no matter what her friends told her deep down she refused to belive that she was stunning. Nesta’s head turned to hers and asked,

“You are coming right?”

Emerie blinked, “Um, where?”

“To the markets, silly.” Gwyn replied affectionately.

Crap, she forgot about that.

“Wait, Gwyn you are coming?”

Nesta and Gwyn shared a secretive smile and it was Gwyn who quietly said,

“Let’s be honest I can’t very well let Nesta go out in this state, can I?”

Emerie raised another brow and Nesta went around the table to stand before Emerie and grabbed her hands, “In my defence I did not want either of you two knowing before the Summer Solstice but this one,” she gave a pointed glare in Gwyn’s direction, “barged into my room this morning and found out.”

Emerie glanced between them in bewilderment, “Found out what?”

Nesta squeezed her hands, smiling down at her sister, “I'm pregnant.”

Emerie stood, chair dropping to the floor, mouth wide, and squealed, “REALLY?! Oh my god!!”

Nesta nodded, “You’re going to be co-godmother!!” In midst of her jumping Emerie stopped and rolled her eyes looking at Gwyn who had joined them, “I’m guessing I’m co-godmother with you?” Gwyn nodded, proud of herself and all three sisters jumped up and down squealing until Gwyn told Nesta off for jumping [a] and Cassian came in. He went straight to his mate,

“I’m guessing you told them??” She nodded wrapping her arms around him and tip-toeing for a kiss. Cassian smiled at Gwyn and Emerie and Gwyn gave him a knowing look. Nesta explained to Emerie, “After Gwyn found out she promised Cassian that she would not let me leave her side. And she very readily offered you up as an extra bodyguard too.”

Emerie chuckled, “I will gladly do so for my godchild. Oh and do your sisters know?”

Nesta nodded, “I was planning to tell everyone at Summer Solstice but the only people who know are you, Gwyn, Feyre, Elain and Cassian. I told my sisters after Gwyn found out.”

Emerie looked her friend in the eye, “And your scent?”

Nesta gave her mate a light shove, “This one has kept a shield around me at all times and then Feyre, who is as protective as him, did the same, which was then joined by another ritual shield by an overly protective acolyte godmother. And only I am allowed to dictate who goes in and out of said shields.” She glared lovingly at Gwyn. Gwyn smiled.

Emerie grinned at her best friend and shook her head at the General,

“You couldn’t wait to knock her up, could you?”

Cassian gave her a fiendish grin which told Emerie enough. The commander trusted them both enough to know his mate would be safe. Understanding shone in the eyes of Cassian, Gwyn and Emerie, an unspoken pact going through them until he turned his attention back to his mate and cradled her face.

“I have to leave at noon today, I will probably be back in a week?”

Nesta gaped at him, “Cassian! We have to be in the Summer court in 9 days!!”

He sighed pulling her closer, “I know baby, but I need to check on all the camps before Summer Solstice holidays and make sure everything is tended to. But… remember if you need me just call down the bond and I’ll be here.”

She waved him off, “I have a Death trove now remember? I’ll be fine.”

A tang of jealousy went through Emerie, what did she have to do to get a love like this?

Cassian rolled his eyes and Gwyn interrupted them,

“I need to get back to the library to finish my jobs if we are to leave for the markets this afternoon.” She turned to Emerie, “You are coming right? Today at 3?”

Emerie nodded, “Yeah, but I need to be getting back to my shop now.” Gwyn gave her and Nesta a parting hug before leaving for the library and Cassian nodded and flew her down to the river estate so Mor, who was waiting for them, could winnow her back.

----------------------

As Emerie breathed in the familiar scent of her shop, a voice that resembled bells said from behind her,

“Are you not going to invite me in?”

Emerie gave her lover a sly look over her shoulder,

“Well, you are very much welcome to follow me to my bedroom.” And then quickly ran up the stairs. Morrigan laughed, flipping a lock of hair over her shoulder and chasing after her angel.

After a lustful afternoon Emerie got up an hour before she was due to meet up with Nesta and Gwyn and headed for the shower to remove any intertwining scents. Once she had done, and made her way back to the bedroom, she found that her lover had awoken,

“Come back to bed…” Mor muttered. Emerie laughed over her shoulder,

“No dear, I have to go meet with Nesta and Gwyn. We’re going to the market.”

Mor leaned to her side, head on her fist, “Oh? Is Gwyneth coming outside?” She asked looking at Emerie in her vanity mirror. Emerie inwardly smiled, but merely replied,

“Yes she is. She’s getting much more confident every day. She’s even coming to the Summer Court for Solstice with Nesta and I. And your family, of course.”

Mor nodded and then asked quietly, “Have you told them...about us?”

Emerie looked at her in the mirror, hesitantly stopping brushing her hair and gulped, “Would you want me too?”

Morrigan considered for a long time before she whispered more to herself than her,

“Yes.”

Emerie didn’t know why but she could tell that letting their relationship be known mattered a lot to Mor. So she smiled and said,

“Of course but… maybe not today? It's just that Cassian’s left to check the camps and I think you want us to announce it in front of your whole family?”

Mor considered, then nodded and laid back on the bed and Emerie admired her as she laced up her boots. Laying back on the white pillows and sheets… golden hair around her like a halo. Her sun...in such a true sense.

Mor grinned at her, “What?”

Emerie controlled her blushes and asked, “Could you please winnow me to the river estate so I can meet up with my friends?” Mor groaned but got up, masking her scent, which was now mixed with Emerie’s, and shrugged her clothes back on.

-------------------------

“Blue or red?” Nesta asked, holding up the dresses in front of the girls. Gwyn shook her head at both of them,

“Not your style, The tulle’s nice but it’s really pretentious for a summer solstice. The beading is just too much.”

Nesta turned to Emerie,

“What do you think Em?” Emerie shook her head,

“You could do so much better.” Nesta rolled her eyes with amusement as Gwyn squealed and picked up a satin silver dress from the rack. It had a low sweetheart neckline with full sleeves that clamped down on her wrist a slit up the thigh. Nesta gaped as Emerie giggled,

“You better try this on Nesta Archeron or I swear I will never talk to you again,” Gwyn threatened and both Nesta and Emerie fell apart laughing at Gwyn’s attachment to that dress. Nesta took the dress from Gwyn and disappeared to the changing rooms.

“We’ll be looking for our dresses and accessories.” Gwyn called out leading Emerie away.

She was really proud of Gwyn, and the courage she had portrayed in the past couple of years by leaving the sanctuary of her library. So much so that she even frequented Emerie’s shop almost as often as Nesta did. But travelling to a whole different court… Emerie would have to inquire about that.

“So, since we’re representing the Valkyrie, we should therefore match with Nesta,” Gwyn mused and pulled Emerie along to the ‘satin’ dresses rack and started combing through dresses. Emerie picked out a bright red one and held it against her,

“What do you think?”

Gwyn made a sour face, “Not at all. It’s too Morrigan.”

This was her chance, she realised as she put the dress back,

“Speaking of her, what do you think about Morrigan? Do you have an issue with her?”

Gwyn was still combing through the dresses and didn’t really pay any heed to her words and the gravity of them but answered nonetheless,

“Not necessarily, I will obviously be forever grateful to her for saving me and giving me my sanctuary but… she can be a tad bit… insensitive when it comes to validating trauma that she wasn’t present for or that isn’t... visible. Especially if it threatens her privacy or her relationships.”

Emerie tried to gauge the full extent of her words… her breathing somehow slowed as Gwyn said,

“But if Nesta doesn’t hold a grudge against her then why should I?” She pulled out two ruched satin turtleneck dresses, one in black and the other in champagne. “These will be perfect for us.”

Nesta called from the changing room, “Finished!”

And Gwyn answered back, “Coming!” Before she could leave however Emerie grabbed her arm,

“Wait, what has Nesta got to do with this?”

Gywn raised an eyebrow, “Do you not remember on our third..? Fourth? Girls night Nesta got really drunk and started talking about how she was told she should've been sent to the court of nightmares, she didn’t deserve the benefit of good people like Cassian and how she was a viper with a forked tongue?”

Emerie searched through her memories.

Whenever did Nesta say tha-....no. no, no, no, no, no.

Emerie looked up at Gwyn, “Mor said that?”

Gywn cocked her head at Emerie calling Morrigan “Mor” and then replied,

“Yes… but- why are you even asking me this? Did Morrigan say something?” Emerie plastered a smile to her face and shook her head,

“No, I was just curious about their… history.”

Gwyn slowly nodded her head as if suspicious but Nesta called for them again and after another worried glance she dragged Emerie to the dressing rooms with her.

Nesta looked breathtaking on a bad day but in that dress… She truly looked as though she could bring males to their knees by merely breathing in their direction. Her body looked as though it had melded with that dress and Nesta was a glowing pillar of moonlight. Gwyn jumped to Nesta’s side on the pedestal and hugged her meeting her eyes in the mirror,

“Look at you,” Gwyn whispered in soft reverence.

Nesta shrugged, “It’s nice.”

“You are radiant.” Emerie countered with the same reverence.

Gwyn turned to Emerie and they both shared a look of sadness. Nesta never knew how to take a compliment, Nesta’s insecurities ate away on Emerie more often than she’d like to admit. As if Nesta woke up in the morning and all she saw was the broken female with toxic coping mechanisms and not the absolute beauty and power that rolled off her in tidal waves. The thought was enough to make Emerie get up on the pedestal and stand on the other side of Nesta. All three sisters looked at each other through the mirror and spoke. Not physically but with their eyes. A look of joy passed through all of them as Gywn reached a hand and put it on Nesta’s stomach and whispered,

“ Godmother!!!” They all giggled and in that moment Emerie felt honoured that she was to be co-godmother to Nesta’s child. It was a Fae tradition that the godparents of the children were not siblings or cousins of the parents as they were already considered to be a second mother or father to them which was why Amren, Cassian and Azriel were the godfathers and godmother of Nyx. Emerie could already imagine the chaos and laughter that Nesta and Cassian’s child would bring. Nesta eyed the two dresses in Gywn’s hand and said,

“Don’t tell me we’re matching.”

Gwyn nodded and Nesta pushed them to the changing rooms demanding they get dressed and as Emerie slipped into her black dress she tried to push down the weight of Gywn’s words that were threatening to crush her. Not now… let Nesta have today. She told her heart. The dresses had an open back that were convenient for her wings but she was guessing that Gwyn would button hers up.

As they stepped out Nesta’s breath caught in her throat. She gaped at the two of them and Gywn said,

“We should stand in front of the mirror with our eyes closed and open them at the same time!” They did so with a lot of stumbling and cursing but as they stood in front of the mirrors and beheld their image a soft silence went through the room. Until 2 years ago they didn’t even know one another existed but now look at them,

Twin flames of champagne and black flanking either side of Nesta who shone like stardust and moonlight in the middle. They were unbreakable.

“I’d just like to remind you both that I was the one who picked out all the dresses.” Gywn whispered, breaking the silence and they all burst out laughing. Nesta nodded at them and said, “Let’s go find the accessories as Gywn claims and we’ll pay for them and leave.”

--------------------

Events of the 3rd girls night

Nesta sat back into the chair, drunk and crying,

“I don’t know why you guys love me. I never deserved you two.”

Gwyn gasped not as drunk as Emerie and Nesta,

“No no no no Nes! Why would you think that.”

“Did you not know??? I am a viper! I have a forked tongue! I am worthy to only reside in the court of nightmares and do not deserve the good benefit of Cassians doubt! I. Am. Worthless.”

Emerie leaned up and slurred, “someone said that to you?”

Nesta’s silence was answer enough.

“Whoever they are....they can go... to hell.” As Emerie nodded off she heard Nesta say , “I love you Em.” And Gwyn pull the covers around her and then sit down next to Nesta asking her....

Some...

Thing...

How could she have been so stupid?! As she lay next to Mor in her bed she wondered what to do. If she told Nesta she didn’t know the consequences.... Nesta would maybe distance herself? Um, or maybe she would be happy for Emerie but then close up whenever Mor came in the room? Oh good god! What if Nesta just cut herself off from Emerie?! Gwyn would be disappointed in her and she would be lonely all over again.... maybe she could keep things on the low... just until she found out a way to tell Nesta. Mor stirred beside her,

“You ok, dear?” She muttered opening her eyes slowly,

Well now or never Emerie.

She sat up and looked down at Mor, “I was just wondering... maybe we could keep our relationship a secret for a little longer....?”

Mor woke up startled,

“What- I- uh, Where is this coming from?”

Emerie got up as well,

“I just would like to keep this,” she gestured between them, “hidden for a little longer that’s all...”

Hurt flashed in Mor’s eyes but she replied, “Yeah, yeah um sure it’s your choice I guess.” She got out of bed, “I need to get going, is there anywhere I can take you?”

Emerie nodded unaware of her lovers change in behaviour,

“Yeah I actually need to go to Nesta’s. When will i see you again?”

Mor refused to meet her eyes, “a couple of days probably, send word to Rhys if you need winnowing anywhere.”

Emerie nodded smiling at how easy it was to make Mor agree to it, blind to her lovers silent tears pouring down her face.

--------------------

2 days later

The bell dangled in the shop and Emerie turned expecting to find Rhysand here to winnow her to the house of wind.

“Hello,” Mor’s brown eyes were cold as she stepped through. At the sight of Emerie’s face she said, “Did you not want me here?”

“No- I mean yes but… I thought you were in Vallahan?”

Mor shrugged, “There were more important things here.” She rubbed her face and Emerie put a hand on her arm,

“Something has been...eating at you. What is it?”

Mor looked up and whispered, “You.”

Emerie flinched, “What?”

“Why? All I want to know is why. Why do you want to keep us hidden, a-a secret?”

Emerie backed away and started hopping from one foot to another, “You see I-”

“Was it Nesta ? You came back from a shopping spree with her and you...changed.”

Emerie snarled at the venom that crept into her at her best friend’s name.

“ Don’t speak of her name in that tone ,” she seethed.

It was Mor’s turn to flinch now, “I-I’m sorry I-I did not mean it intentionally-”

“Oh don’t bother,” Emerie laughed cruelly, “I get it. Old habits die hard.”

Sadness crept into Mor’s eyes and Emerie almost cracked at the broken plea she sent her way, “Emerie please…”

Emerie just thrust her hand out, “Just take me to Velaris.”

Mor gave up, nodding once before winnowing them away.

------------

“We HAVE to go for a neutral themed baby shower,” Nesta argued.

“NO Nesta look I’ve been researching baby showers in the human lands and they have a theme and a gender reveal and all that jazz and we NEED A THEME THAT CORRESPONDS TO THE GENDER!”

“GWYN I WAS HUMAN REMEMBER and I will not be subjecting my child to gender stereotypes!”

As those two bickered Emerie tried to do some Mind-stilling to calm the after effects of her fight with Morrigan. She knew she had to push that away before Nesta or Gwyn realised something was wrong.

“Emerie, You okay?”

Too late. Emerie turned meeting Nesta and Gywn’s worried glances and answered Nesta,

“Yeah it’s just after Rhysand opened trades from my shop here work has been getting on top of me…”

“I can talk to Rhys with maybe take the workload off-” Nesta started

“Or we could help out and maybe hire others to help out?” Gwyn offered.

Emerie smiled at their concern and shook her head,

“No need, I’m fine I’ll let you know if it gets too consuming, now show me these themes and remind me why we’re having a baby shower?”

Gwyn and Nesta exchanged a worried look but decided to drop it,

“I wanted to do a baby shower because my mother loved them a lot, obviously due to fae traditions no one’s gonna be giving the baby anything but that doesn't mean they can’t give ME anything.”

Gwyn snatched the folder with the color swatches and theme ideas and showed a blue and pink one to Emerie,

“Now here's the thing, I think that we should have the planner do the party in the theme of the gender,”

Nesta snatched the folder back, “And I think that we should go for a more neutral theme…”

Gwyn lightly pushed her, “Who the hell are you to decide?”

It all went quiet, “THE MOTHER OF THE CHILD MAYBE?”

“Oh shut up, these are your hormones speaking.”

Nesta gaped at Gwyn and then turned to Emerie. Emerie laughed and as she did her past gloom was chased away by the consistent bickering of her friends. In that moment she had forgotten all about her argument with Mor.

But Morrigan hadn’t.

------------------------------

Mor hadn’t seen Emerie in weeks except once after their argument in her shop. Emerie was apparently busy with Nesta and helping her out. Mor scoffed to herself. As if. Morrigan never thought that she would be jealous of Nesta but she was. Now she was, seeing Emerie not letting Nesta carry the crates into her shop, watching Nesta and Emerie in the veranda every time she tried to talk to her, laughing and giggling over books. God she hated this yet some low part of her still blamed Nesta, despite the remorse that was coursing through her. She replayed the argument in her head again and again.

Emerie flung her hand out of Mor’s grip,

“Stop it Mor! Just...stop!” Mor tried pleading with her again,

“Please Emerie, please if you could just tell me what’s wrong…”

“Why Mor?” Emerie turned and Mor noticed the silver lining her eyes, “Can I ask why I should? How will this help us Mor? If I want to tell you something in the future about me then how the hell would I tell you without fearing that the next person you call a viper with a forked tongue is me? How the hell will I be able to be angry with you in the future if I’m scared whether or not you’re going to tell me that I don’t deserve the benefit of good people or I would thrive in the Court of Nightmares.”

Mor stilled, “So this is about Nesta.”

Emerie blew a fuse,

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

Mor took a step forward, “Emerie the words I said to Nesta I-I regret them and I would never say those to you…”

“YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE MOR... “ She took deep panting breaths, tears running down her face, “you might as well have. You fail to see how similar Nesta and I are and it just-” she trailed off trying to, “I love Nesta ok? She- she saved me. She made me less lonely. I-I had no one and then a female made of ice walks into my shop and suddenly I have someone I-I have her . You didn’t even Know of my existence and we met because of Nesta. I am terrified that I will hurt Nesta by telling her that I am having an affair with the female who repeatedly let her know that she didn’t deserve anything?”

Venom filled Mor’s eyes, “Oh I see, you’re afraid of disappointing “Nesta”, you’re afraid of what Nesta will think. Well why don’t you go sleep with her then!”

Emerie shook her head in disbelief,

“I can’t believe you. Instead of trying to make this work…” she shook her head again, “I can’t reason with you Morrigan. I can’t-” she looked up choking on a sob, “I can’t talk to you now. We’ll speak once you have something to say other than that.”

She turned and fled into her shop. And Mor’s heart broke.

Could this maybe be her karma for all of the hearts she broke by keeping past relationships hidden? “Go to hell,” Mor muttered to no one in particular and got up from her bed to go down to Rita’s and wash away her sorrow.

--------------------

Feyre had invited everyone down to the River estate for dinner and Nesta hadn't wanted to go because Cassian wouldn't be there but was dragged along in the end by Gwyn. Emerie was meant to be her later that day, she was in the city but she told Feyre she had to talk to some vendors before the Palaces closed down. Nesta was laughing at a crude joke Azriel had said to Gwyn when Morrigan stumbled into the living room doors open.

Feyre immediately went to her best friend's side but Mor pushed her away the stench of alcohol filling the air. She pointed at Nesta drunkenly

“ You.” Nesta glanced at her quizzically, stepping forward in concern, “You stole her from me.”

Nesta’s eyebrows bunched together, “What are you talking about?”

“You stole Emerie from me.” Feyre glanced between her sister and best friend, worry coating her eyes. Nesta and Gwyn swapped suspicious glances and Gwyn spoke up her voice soft,

“Emerie is Nesta’s best friend, she can’t really be-”

“NO” Mor cut her off, “Emerie- Em left me for her … She’s in love with you.”

Nesta laughed at that, “I assure you Morrigan, Emerie is not in love with me, besides why would that affect you if she did?”

“Because I am in love with her” The whole room stilled, slipping into a bewildered silence. “She didn’t want to tell you that she was in a relationship with me,” Mor sobbed, “She didn’t want you to know because she feared losing you, she cried-my god she cried so much whenever we argued and then she went back to you with fake smiles…” Morrigan’s crying intensified as she recalled the memory but Nesta...

… Nesta let out a shuddering breath, eyes flashing with hurt as they looked at Gwyn,

“She didn’t tell me Gwyn…” tears now lined Nesta’s eyes and Gwyn tried to console her, “She- she didn’t want to tell me… She kept it from me.”

“I don’t believe her intention was to hurt you, Nes,” Gwyn tried, caressing Nesta’s unbound hair, “No Gwyn but… I have never kept anything from her and she thought I wouldnt approve?!”

The door opened behind them and Nesta turned,

“Hey…” Emerie stepped in and saw Nesta and Mor both crying. She stood at the entryway,

“What the hell happened??” She asked, eyes darting between them, Mor noted the movement and muttered bitterly, “Fitting of you to assume I did something to the female you are in love with.” Emerie gave her a bewildered look, “Who are you…” her eyes fell on Nesta, “You don’t think… this is a mess.”

Feyre and Rhys looked at each other and decided not to intervene.

Nesta stepped forward anger lacing her voice,

“Yes, yes this is. I trusted you and…” She looked up silver eyes piercing into Emerie, “You know that if someone- if you had told me then I would’ve been supportive right? Right?”

Emerie didn’t answer and Nesta turned away dragging a hand through her hair,

“Nesta please , Calm down please this isn’t good for the…” Nesta pushed Gwyn away refusing to listen to reason and stepped up to Emerie, “I tell you everything. I never keep secrets from you but you do not trust me enough to tell me about such an important thing but the worse thing is… I wasn’t there for you...I couldn’t be there for you when you cried after arguments with Mor because you didn’t tell me, because you wouldn’t let me. ”

“I didn’t- I didn’t, I never wanted this to happen!”

“Forget it, Em,” Nesta pushed past her running out of the door, off the grounds of the river estate, Gwyn ran after her pure terror going through her eyes as she contemplated what would happen to the child.

Emerie grabbed Gwyn’s arms, “Gwyn… please…”

Gwyn turned, “You mean the world to Nesta, she’ll talk to you later but it is best now if you don’t”

“But Gwyn-”

“Let me go Emerie, I need to make sure Nesta’s all right. She can’t be running in this state Emerie Let. me. Go.” Emerie dropped her hand and turned back to Mor who was still crying on the floor, a drunken mess.

“I am not in love with Nesta, you dimwit,” Mor looked up at Emerie, “I love Nesta but I am in love with you. How could you-”

Mor tried to stand up, “Emerie I didn’t mean too-”

“We’re done.”

Another silence rippled through the crowd around them and Emerie turned pleading eyes to Azriel,

“Take me home.”

As Azriel took her away Rhys swore,

“Shit.” He looked at Feyre, “Cassian’s here.”

As if in response the earth trembled on the grounds of the River house.

Rhys turned to Az, “You have to get Emerie out of here now.”

---------------------------

Cassian growled at Rhys, “Where is she?”

Rhysand leveled a hard look with his general, “She is safe, Gwyn is with her, Feyre and Nyx are with her and you know how Nesta melts with Nyx” he cocked his head, “You are being more overprotective than usual brother?”

Cassian shrugged, “When you heard your mate crying down the bond you dropped everything for her.”

“You’re right. I apologize brother.”

Feyre rushed through the doors, “Cassian… Nesta fainted. She’s with Madja.”

Cassian’s eyes widened once before he rushed out of the door taking to the skies towards the healers’ buildings.

Cassian stormed through the hallways until he reached the room he had been directed too. His heart rushed with relief at the sight of his mate, awake her hand in Gwyn’s. Cassian shot Gwyn a look of gratitude and walked to Nesta’s side. Gwyn excused herself but before she could leave Cassian asked her,

“Could you send word to her? She’s worried sick about Nesta apparently.” Gwyn knew who he was talking about and just nodded leaving the room. Cassian pulled a seat on Nesta’s side and grabbed her hand stroking a thumb down the back,

“Don’t scare me like that,” he whispered, leaning forward to press his forehead against hers, “Is the baby ok?”

She nodded, “They’re ok.” Cassian pressed closer against her and Nesta voiced her worries, “Cass, I-I overstepped she… you know she won’t come and visit me out of sheer guilt? Don’t be mad at her Cassian, It wasn’t her fault… and Mor? Is Mor ok? She was- was heartbroken.”

“Hey, hey, baby, It wasn’t your fault or anyones for that matter… but you need to calm down. I don’t need you fainting from more stress, please. Talk to her once you’ve healed but… please don’t do this to me.”

Nesta nodded once, feeling guilty for how worried he was and settled back into the covers pulling him with her.

Later, she’d talk to Emerie. Later.

------------------

Mor found Nesta in the private library. The house of Wind seemed reluctant at first but Mor assured it her feelings were pure.

Nesta was sprawled on the lounge and her eyes flicked up, slightly hardening as they beheld her.

“Hello,” Mor tried. Nesta sat up and patted the spot next to her,

“Hey.”

As Mor sat down she refused to meet Nesta’s eyes,

“I’m going to cut to the chase, I have never had a public relationship and I’m not trying to get you to sympathize with me but after Emerie told me she didn’t want us to have a public relationship I spiraled. I was always jealous and suspected that Emerie may be in love with you so when she started telling me my problems the only thing I focused on was...how much you were involved and I missed the whole point. She was scared that I would treat her how I treated you and I would never treat her but… I have a feeling that I owe you an apology for how I treated you in the past. And the day before. You never deserved it and like always my jealousy was my main motivator.”

Nesta had sat and listened through it all and when Mor finished she reached over and put a hand on hers.

“I forgave you a long time ago.” Mor looked up to see silver eyes swirling with forgiveness, “And about Emerie… I can assure you that she is not in love with me. She is very much committed to you. However Emerie can be fiercely loyal to the ones she loves and she is very protective of me. I just regret not being there. This is more a reflection of me than her. And I was going to talk to her but I thought I’d let you two sort it out.”

Mor’s face conorted to pain and Nesta shuffled closer, “Hey, hey what’s wrong?”

“She refuses to see me.”

A look of pure determination came over Nesta as she stood up and the house gave Nesta her cloak.

“Wait Nesta where are you going?”

As Nesta put the red fur lined cloak on she said, “Emerie hasn’t been here to see me either. Which means that this bitc- she’s punishing herself and you dear Mor are not capable of shouting at her like I am. I’ll see you at dinner.”

Nesta walked off shouting for Azriel.

Mor wondered what the hell she just started.

-----------------

The door of her shop slammed open and a red hooded figure stepped through the door.

“We’re closed-”

“EMERIE!” Nesta took off her hood, “You piece of- how dare you hole yourself up here and hide away from us?! I am disappointed in you. Is this what you’ll be teaching your godchild. That they should come hide up with you when their problems become too much?”

Emerie gaped, “Wait you still want me to be their godmother?”

“Of course I do you you idiot. We had an argument. It’s healthy.”

Nesta groaned and dragged Emerie to the back sitting down with her, “But you need to start explaining yourself.”

Emerie sighed, “Look Nes, I-I when I heard what Mor had said to you in the past I got scared and defensive. You’re the one who gave me a way out of these mountains. It was because of you I got love and a family. And then I thought if I didn’t tell you I’d get the best of both worlds, but that obviously blew up in my face… and after when you fainted I realised-”

“Stop right there. I fainted because I didn’t eat anything asI cleverley decided that if I didn’t eat anything it would prevent the morning sickness. I was wrong. Obviously. I fainted at the bad time and it was NOT your fault or anyone’s at all.”

Nesta held Emerie close to her chest and said, “You need to talk to your lady love, Em. She’s tearing herself up over you.”

Emerie sobbed quietly, “I know I just-”

“I’ll always be here for you. If your talk goes badly come and tell me. I’ll handle it then but you need to talk to her Em.”

“I will, I will.”

-----------------------

“Hey.” Mor turned, seeing a familiar face, one she ached to see in the past days.

“Hi.” Emerie gave her a thin smile.

“We obviously need to talk.”

Mor nodded, “Yeah. Do-do you wanna sit down?” She gestured to the bench in Elain’s garden. Emerie nodded and sat, Mor sitting next to her.

A long silence drew out, Emerie being the first one to break it,

“I- you need to know that I am not in love with Nesta. I was just...scared. And I hate seeing you like this and I am so sorry-”

“No,” Mor stopped her, “Your reasons were fully justified. I was a horrible person to Nesta and you were right. Even though Nesta has forgiven me... you need to know that I will change but Em... I cant do it without you. I love you...so much it hurts.”

Emerie let out a shuddering breath,

“I love you too.” She reached over and kissed Mor and just like that... the words that were once spoken were healed over.

——————

Bonus:

Nesta got sat down by Gwyn in an arm chair. Nesta rolled her eyes putting a hand on her swollen belly, “Gwyn i honestly can’t with you. Please let me go upstairs and get a book-“

“ABSOLUTELY NOT! Nesta Archeron you are 8 months pregnant if you think I’m letting you go upstairs”

The doors of the room downstairs Nesta had shifted too were flung open by the hous of wind as if to say “this is why I made this room and shifted you here”

Nesta groaned as Gwyn gave Nesta a disappointed look.

“Auntie NES!!!!” A shrieking voice echoed through the house as little 2 year old Nyx ran along the hallways into Nesta’s arms. Feyre and Rhysand walking close behind.

“Hello my baby!!” Nesta tucked him into her side mindful of the baby bump.

Nyx put a tiny hand on her belly and said,

“My cousins in here?” Nesta nodded.

Feyre and Rhys leaned on either side of Nesta’s armchair. Nesta gave Rhys a pleading look, Rhys turned to his mate,

“Feyre why don’t you and Gwyn go check on the arrangements for the baby shower outside...”

“Oh Yeah! Feyre I was wondering-“ Gwyn led Feyre outside and Rhys peered down at his sister-in-law.

“What’s the matter Nes?”

Nesta huffed and then saw Az and Mor and waved them over.

They gave her a concerned look,

“You ok?”

“No,” Nesta whined, “I want a book and chicken! And I’m carving butterscotch candies and you know what else I’m craving? AIR! I cant even breathe without Cassian, Gwyn, Emerie or Feyre hovering over me it’s horrible!”

Rhys laughed not being able to control himself and Nesta slapped his leg,

“ITS NOT FUNNY!” Az and Mor quickly joined in, “what do you want us to do?”

Nesta huffed again flailIng her arms out as Nyx cuddled closer looking up at everyone observing quietly.

“I want you three to keep them away from me for AN HOUR that’s all! Please please just let me have this ONE hour before the baby shower please!!”

Rhys looked at Mor and Az and then Nesta, “I mean we could try-“

“THANK YOU!!!” She rushed up and hugged Rhys, “you’re my favourite you know.” Rhys hugged her back and scoffed, “we all know Az is your favourite Illyrian now can you please let go of me before your mate comes in, I don’t want to die today.”

“Too late” Cassian growled from behind. And Rhys gently pushed Nesta away Nyx giggling on her side.

Cassian shot a glare in Rhys direction and strode up to his mate, kissing her and then putting a hand on her belly. It never failed to amaze her how much his eyes sparked up with devotion whenever he beheld her. Fuck he was gonna make an amazing father.

Nesta started crying. Gwyn stormed in.

“CASSIAN! What have I told you about making my girl emotional before the baby shower!”

Cassian stepped back holding up his hands in defence, “I didn’t even- hold on she is MY mate why the hell are you-“

“CONSIDER YOUR WORDS GENERAL”

“You consider yours! You can’t tell me to stay away from my pregnant mate-“

“I CAN AND I WILL YOU KNOW WHY?! BECAUSE I HAD HER FIRST-“

“I KNEW HER FIRST-“

“AND YOUR BEHAVIOUR WAS SHITTY-“

Nesta put her hands over her ears, Nyx mirroring her movement. Nesta smirked down at her 2 year old nephew.

Rhysand on the other hand was trying to weather the fight between Gwyn and Cassian and made subtle nod for Nesta to dip. Nesta winked at Nyx and picked him up stealthily walking to the haven of her room.

As they both lay in bed together Nyx giggled,

“We fooled them Auntie Nes!”

Nesta laughed, “we did!” Nyx put a hand on her belly and laughed aloud when he heard his cousin kick,

“Did you feel that auntie???!!”

“Yes they are inside me Nyxie,” they both laughed then Nyx looked up,

“Is uncle Cass not leaving you alone?”

Nesta groaned, “not at ALL.”

Nyx considered, “hmmm.... I think we should be mad at him.”

“We definitely should for being so over bearing but forget about Cassian let’s read a book while they argue downstairs.”

The house plopped several books down on Nesta’s table which showed exactly how long the argument was going to go on according to the house.

After about and hour or so (because That’s the only amount of time Cassian is willing to stay away from her) Cassian came in,

“Baby we’re gonna do the gender reveal now.” Nyx gave Cassian a Nesta signature glare which was surprising for a 2 year old,

“What did I do?!”

“Mama Nesta said you’re being a bear!”

Nesta laughed, “over bearing Nyxie not a bear!”

Nyx blushed, “my bad... but yeah what she said.”

Cassian rolled his eyes and then gestured outwards, “C’mon.” When Nesta and Nyx didn’t get up he went over and pulled his maye to her feet and then picked Nyx up leading them both outside, Nesta on his arm.

As they came out their family cheered and Cassian passed Nyx to Rhys. The couple strode up to the 2 tier cake decorated with gold and white. Nesta smiled at Gwyn and Emerie as Gwyn shoved a “future mommy” sash, them matching with “co godmother sashes. She looked up at the face of her mate to find Cassian already looking at her, utter devotion on his eyes as he rubbed a hand over her belly and then picked up the knife. She held onto it as well as they both leaned forward and cut the cake. They pulled the cake out and watched it drop onto the plate.

Pink. They were having a daughter.

Everyone burst out into cheers around them and Nesta cried out laughing as Cassian engulfed her in his embrace. Elain and Feyre reached over to hug her and then parted for her best friends. Her chosen family.

Emerie and Gwyn gripped onto her tightly, both crying,

“You guys are my yellow.”

Gwyn tipped her head back and laughed, Azriel’s eyes glinting with admiration behind her.

Emerie grinned, her wings rustling, Mor’s eyes misting with love.

Nesta turned to look at her own mate who smiled softly towards her.

She wouldn’t spend eternity with anyone else except them.

---------------

TAGS: @idc-camille @wannawriteyouabook @skychild29 @aesthetics-11 @perseusannabeth

#nessian fanfic #nssian #acosf #nessian #valkyrie trio #gywneth bedara #gwyn #Nesta archeron #emerie #morrigan #Feyre archeron

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imaginethathaikyuu · 4 years

Note

How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

#ily<3 #long post

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manggojooz · 5 years

Text

Pick A Side (Part 10)

pairing: Taehyung x reader

word count: 2,040

genre: university!au; angst; romance; a bit a bit of thriller

warnings: slight references to voyeuristic behaviour

taglist: @destiel1597 @mila271 @hopetookmysoul @ximaginx @honeyursosweet @coffeecupyoongs@bangtanbaesstuff @annoyingpessimist @betysotelo18 @okaysoplshelpme @igot7bangs @tahaing @mochi-and-co

comment: sooooo i wanted this series to be like max 10 parts... guess it’s not really gonna be that way xD and this is a really dialogue-heavy chapter, hope y’all don’t mind it! as always, if you like it please leave a comment or help me reblog it <3

Instincts. Gut feeling. Sixth sense. People use these terms to describe the baseless sometimes inexplicable notions that humans are capable of perceiving.

You once learnt during a photography workshop that some of the best pictures are not the ones which were taken after spending hours framing it, but are products of spontaneity. A good photographer is therefore not the one that can design his shots well, but one who has that baseless inexplicable tingly senses that can anticipate the iconic moment before it arises.

---

“Finally found the both of you”, his tonality seems to never change but they sent tingles down your sides.

“Hey Haejoong, I was just explaining to Y/N the situation...”, Jihyun perks up when she sees him in the room.

Sudden echoes of the vibration from your handphone resting on a chair next to you startles you. You pick it up to see that Taehyung was calling.

“Hey”, you answered the call.

“Where are you?”, he anxiously asked without even a ‘hello’.

“In the painting room. I'm here with Jihyun and Haejoong”, you see Jihyun’s eye flicker a little as she starts to have a hunch about who you were talking to on the phone. Haejoong on the other hand, continued to look at you with his usual gentle demeanour.

You heard some mumbling from Taehyung on the other end, it sounded like he was swearing but you couldn’t hear him clearly at all.

“What are you saying? I can’t hear you”, you quipped.

“Wait there, I’m coming over”, he commanded.

Before you could object he had already hung up.

You stammered awkwardly and looked at the two puzzled humans standing before you, “Umm Taehyung said he’s coming over... not sure why or what for but err...”

“Probably to pick you up”, Haejoong replied almost too nonchalantly before facing Jihyun and asking her, “would you rather leave or wait?” You wondered whether this was the same person you knew from a week ago.

“Let’s go”, Jihyun answered exhaustedly.

“Oh right Y/N, Hyesoo has been asking me whether we need to change our assignment group, given all that is going on right now. She said to let her know by this week. Maybe you could discuss with Taehyung and let’s come to a decision soon?”, Haejoong was suddenly reminded to ask you as he trailed behind Jihyun who wanted to leave before Taehyung reached.

“Yeah, okay”, you barely managed to squeak out a response as the nagging tingly feeling keeps growing.

---

You fiddled around with your phone until you heard footsteps stomping up to the door.

“Hey”, he panted.

“You ran here?”, you questioned.

“Yeah, evidently”, he answered.

“Why...”, you wondered, but suddenly you were reminded that perhaps you wouldn’t like the answer, “... no, don’t answer that.”

Taehyung tilts his head and his forehead lightly frowns in confusion, “Anyway, where’s Jihyun and Haejoong?”, his breath was still shallow.

Did he run here to see Jihyun?

“Jihyun left with Haejoong, I didn’t know if I should ask them to wait or...”, your words were just stumbling out of your mouth, “... I’m sorry, if I knew you wanted to catch her I would have-”

“Hey hey, I'm not here to catch her”, Taehyung’s eyes were intensely observing you now.

“Then why did you run all the way here? I thought it was because I mentioned she was with me”, your fingers pinched each other in this tiny moment of embarrassment and uncertainty. Embarrassed because you felt like you were phishing for an answer you wanted, uncertain because you still didn’t know if it would be the answer you wanted.

“No...”, Taehyung hesitated, “... it’s because you mentioned Haejoong was with you.”

Is this the answer you wanted?

“Taehyung, Haejoong and I...”, you wanted to clarify that nothing is going on, at least not anymore.

“Stay away from him”, Taehyung huffs.

“What?”, you were taken aback by his assertiveness all of a sudden.

“Im Haejoong. Something’s up with him, I don’t know what... but Yoongi hyung just told me that he has always had a crush on Jihyun and even chose to take our pure arts class just to be in the same class as her... but he never acted that way... instead it felt like...”, his eyes quivered as he looked at you.

“It felt like he liked me...”, you were shaking now. There were absolutely no signs that he liked Jihyun before.

“Y/N are you ok? You look-”, Taehyung grew concerned.

“He misled me to think that he wrote the post-its on my photos too...”, you mumbled.

Taehyung’s eyes grew wider. Things are increasingly not adding up for this guy.

“Just stay awa-”, Taehyung began.

“I’m tired Taehyung, walk with me back to the hostel?”, you truly were drained by now.

---

The journey was mostly undisturbed silence. There is a kind of connection in this world that need not be seen or heard.

As the both of you strolled up to the hostel, a female voice calls out your name, drawing both of your attention.

Turns out Helen from the student office had also just came around to look for you with a police officer in tow.

“Don’t worry, I’m just investigating into the matter. It's really cold out here at night, is it alright if we head up to your room to have a chat?”, the investigation officer requested. You agreed and as the group of you were heading up, Taehyung almost too naturally follows behind you.

“Mr. Kim, I think we are good here. Maybe you should consider heading back?”, there was a slant of insistence in her question.

Taehyung eyes you worriedly and you gave him a smile, “It’s ok, I can handle this. See you tomorrow?”

He sighed reluctantly but gives you a brief nod, “Call me if anything happens”, he nagged before turning to head off.

This was still the same caring man that you knew since day one.

---

After a round of questioning in your room, the officer was mostly satisfied. However, he stood up and headed to your window, parting the blinds to peep out into the opposite building, where Jihyun’s room was.

“Is everything alright?”, Helen asked.

“It’s just that, no matter how I look at it, it will take a really powerful camera zoom to get the kind of image in the videos. Ms. Helen, you too know that we have been to each room in this building, no matter how I see it, the angle just doesn’t seem right from any of the rooms either”, he muttered thoughtfully.

“Well, how else can someone get a photo or video from this high a height? We are eight floors above ground, officer”, Helen was seemingly annoyed that she was still stuck here at such an hour.

“What if it wasn’t taken from a building...”, the officer mumbles.

Helen was right about to scoff when you suddenly bolt up from your bed, where you had been sitting during the questioning.

“Maybe... a drone?”, you implored.

It need not be seen or heard, but the connection had been drawn. The officer’s face hardens as he demands Helen bring him all the CCTV footages surrounding the hostel area, this time not just for the entrances of the hostels.

---

“We need to talk”, you messaged Haejoong the next day after classes were done and you ended up meeting him at the rooftop where he was trying out his new Holga.

“It’s you, isn’t it?”, you sputtered, feeling rather apprehensive.

He turns around to face you while packing up his things. “What do you mean?”

“You took the photos of Jihyun and posted them online... right?”, you fought on.

“Why would I do that?”, it sounded as though he was refuting your allegation but at the same time it also sounded as though he was challenging you to find out the answer yourself.

“Exactly, why? My gut feeling says it’s you, but I just cannot logically figure out why you would do it. Especially, now that I know you actually like Jihyun, I just can’t understand what you are trying to do. Why did you get close to me, when you like her? Why-”, you ranted.

“How did you find out that I like her?”, he was momentarily stunned but quickly recovered, “Regardless... tell me honestly, did you at any point think that I liked you?”

It hurts your pride to admit it, but with the way he acted, how could you not have thought that way?

Your silence though, was enough of an answer to the mild-mannered man.

“I honestly didn’t mean to hurt you, but you had to be Taehyung’s ex-girlfriend, I had no choice”, for once there was a desperation starting to bloom in his voice.

“You had no choice but to use me?”, your words were filled with exasperation.

“I needed to show Jihyun that he doesn’t like her, that when he is forced to make a choice between you or her”, his eyes hardens and he does not complete that previous sentence, “It is obvious that his heart is still with you.”

“That is not true, you just haven’t seen the number of times Taehyung-”, you argued back.

“He doesn’t love her. If anyone’s using anyone, it’s not me, it’s him. He's using her to get over you and I cannot watch that happen to her”, he raised his voice at you just enough to show his disapproval.

Your head was quivering in disbelief, “You couldn’t watch that happen to her but you went and posted those photos and videos of her?! I just don’t get it...”

“That is not me”, he replied coldly.

“You are lying”, you insisted.

“It’s not me”, he takes another step closer to you and puts his hands into the huge side pocket of your winter coat. He pulls out your handphone revealing that it was recording your conversation this whole time.

“It’s not me”, he repeats for the third time, slowly, enunciating each word, as if making sure that the recording will pick up his words loud and clear.

He stops the recording and you demand for your phone back as sternly as you could.

“I thought we were at least friends, this is disappointing”, he blinks at you.

He unexpectedly turns his back and starts to leave. You lunge at him to grab at your phone which he was now shoving into his own pocket. The moment you grabbed his arms he hurls you backward and you stumble back onto the concrete floor.

“Like you said, if you can’t figure out the logical reason why I would do it then do you think anyone else would be able to come up with one? There is no use in just insisting that I did it, Y/N. In the end no one will believe you”, he surmised almost emotionlessly.

You collected yourself and scrambled up but Haejoong casually walks through the doorway leading to the rooftop. He spins to see you dashing towards him again and promptly shuts and locks the door from the other side, leaving you in the freezing exterior.

“IM HAEJOONG!”, you screamed. “Open the door now!”

“This is your time to make a choice Y/N. Will you take my side?”, Haejoong asks cryptically.

“Are you freaking crazy?! Let me out now!”, you whimpered as you banged against the cold hard door.

“I’m asking you one last time, will you take my side?”, there was even a coldness to his words now even though you could barely hear him through the thick barricade.

“Haejoong-ah, stop it now please. You are going down the wrong side, you still have a chance to turn around now”, you tried a different tactic, pleading to him now.

“You are wrong. If you are not on my side, all of you are wrong”, he bellows suddenly and crashes one of his fists into the door, shaking it so hard causing you to jump back. Immediately after was an eerie silence, with lingering echoes of the door being rattled.

Some people are like photographs, they exhibit an image, which they spend time developing, but their true self is captured on film as negatives, which is the exact opposite of what they portray.

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shooter-nobunagun · 6 years

Text

Orphanage of the Cosmos [Bloodborne AU]

//Covers lore and events from Upper Cathedral Ward through the Orphanage; usual spoiler warning.

“Tell me something; why are you really here?” The hunter acted as if he hadn’t heard the other man, only continuing to etch the rune patterns along his skin but Adam knew he was listening. “You Executioners only care about the Vilebloods, and you certainly don’t need our strength.” There was no response still, and Adam felt his eyelid twitch.

“What is it you’re really after?”

The pick was laid down with a soft “clink”, Tell methodically bandaging up the scars until the etchings healed and the rune’s power would take effect. “Adam Muirhead. That is a question I could ask you myself; Your strength is impressive and your hunts, even moreso. Why you would take such an interest in a newcomer I do not know, but it’s not just for her skills.”

Though Tell didn’t say anything explicitly, Adam felt his pulse increase. Just how obvious was their relationship becoming... Even though he was sure they were taking enough precautions around each other, and hell it wasn’t as if anything more happened after the kiss in the gardens (and there had been nobody else around, he’d made sure of it). Regardless, if Tell was subtly hinting he was aware of this bond between them, then anything was game.

“...This hunt, it’s different than the past ones, somehow...I know you can sense it,” he replied, though avidly looking away. “It ain’t my first, and I’m not stupid enough t’ turn away help for the sake of pride.”

“Different, you say...?” Tell’s voice carried only a hint of further knowledge, but it wasn’t enough for Adam to make a judgement of whether or not to push for more. “In any case, it’s none of my business; as you so rightly said, I am merely with your band for the time being because I find it an interesting change of pace. I do not need your strength to survive.”

“Then keep yer bloody nose outta this,” Adam muttered, wondering if Tell really was a threat or simply a hunter who’d been on too many hunts, and now merely found ways to keep himself amused during the never-ending nights. “Call us interesting if yeh want, just don’t stir up unnecessary trouble.”

Tell hummed a questioning note, before finally strolling over and eyeing Adam face-to-face. “Unnecessary trouble...I have a feeling it’s not me who’s at risk.” It was unnerving, both the double entendre and also how close Tell was standing to him, those dark eyes piercing his own.

It felt like forever before he blinked and stepped away, Adam letting out the breath he didn’t even know he’d been holding. Shit; Tell was definitely onto them but unlike Mirza, it didn’t seem to be malice so much as curiosity, or perhaps even caution.

“Just remember, Muirhead; anything more than the occasional midnight visit will come back to bite you, sooner or later.” Adam nearly dropped the tool he’d been holding while embedding a blood gem into his gun. There was a chance Tell was simply poking fun in jest, but after all that, he had a feeling the Executioner knew.

About his true feelings for the huntress.

“Adam...? Is everything okay?” Speak of the devil. His head turned and there she was, eyes large and questioning as she handed him the turnscrew he’d dropped. “Did Tell do something?”

“...It’s nothing.” He took the tool and turned back to the workbench, Sio looking a bit hurt at his abrupt attitude but he couldn’t risk revealing anymore than they already had. If only he could find some way to be sure they could get some privacy, he could tell her... “Oy, Sio—”

But when he turned around again she’d already disappeared. ---- “Tha’s a mighty long face ye’ve got thar, lass. Sumthin’ the matter?” The surgeon gave her a friendly pat on the head but Sio’s expression remained unchanged, only focused on tuning her blunderbuss. “Och, somethin’s got yur goat; did that Muirhead do sumthin’ again?”

Sio barked out a laugh. “Ha! More like not do anything...” she muttered, hands going through the motions of oiling the locks and switches along the gun’s shaft. “Even now, I feel like he’s so hard to get a read on...one minute he’s being all nice, the next he ignores me like I’m a brat,” she growled, tossing the dirty rag into the supply trunk. “If you’re just using me for your own pleasures, then why the hell did you say all that in the gardens...”

Hunter raised an eyebrow at the insinuations Sio’s words carried, but kept it to himself. “Well, tha’s how he’s always been, fer as long as I’ve known ‘im. Hell, I’d say he’s actually gotten a lot better, since we’ve started traveling wit’ ye. Take it easy lass, it’ll take ‘im some time t’ get used to...uh, well,” Hunter cast her a sheepish glance, not sure if he should reveal the fact he already knew about their relationship. “A-Anywho, I’m sure he’s got his reasons; ‘f there’s one thing I can assure you, it’s that he isnae th’ type of man t’ act carelessly. Well, least I dinnae think so...”

“Well, if you say so...” Sio grumbled, not entirely convinced. Then again, what did she know about love and relationships? This was her first one, and with a veteran hunter from Yharnam, to boot. Maybe displays of affection were rare among their kind? Or maybe she was thinking too far in him giving her anything beyond the occasional compliment or even kiss. ‘Seriously Sio, you couldn’t have fallen for a more normal guy?’

A tap on her shoulder nearly sent her jumping out of her skin again, but to her relief she managed to control it—even moreso after she realized who it was that wanted her attention. “Oh! Uh, William Tell...right? Is there...something you need?”

“I was discussing the state of things with Vidocq earlier; he mentioned you and Muirhead were able to communicate with a Great One—Rom?”

A familiar shiver crawled down her spine at the mention of that topic. Surely Tell wasn’t suspicious as well...she hadn’t sensed anything foreboding from him, but he could very well have an ulterior motive, like so many of their fellow hunters.

“U-Uh, y, yeah...I-I mean, I wouldn’t really call it...communicating, but more like...” She twisted a lock of her hair nervously, wonder how wise it was to reveal everything. On one hand, if Tell already spoke to Vidocq then there wasn’t a point in hiding it. But on the other...who knew what he wanted this information for. “Um—can, can I ask...why are you interested in this anyway? It’s not like Rom’s around anymore...and to be honest, I’m not sure what more I can tell you that Vidocq already hasn’t; if anything, he could probably tell you more, considering his research...”

To her surprise Tell shook his head. “Actually, I am asking because I know someone who might be helpful in figuring this out.” She stared at him blankly, not sure what to make of this. “Sio Ogura, are you interested in learning more about why you are able to hear those thoughts? With creatures beyond any imagining, and what they mean?”

“H-Huh?” Now she was really confused. “W, Wait, what do you mean...Tell, do you know what a Great One is? Can you also hear their voices?”

“...Not really. Well, I suspect not as well as you can. However, an acquaintance of mine recently wrote to me about a great discovery that may shed more light on this...phenomenon. He is an elite member of the Healing Church; the Choir, if you’ve heard of them.”

Sio shook her head slowly, still trying to grasp everything. “O-Oh, I...see.” Though she wasn’t truly interested in figuring out a mystical entity that was probably best left alone, a part of her curiosity couldn’t help but be piqued. Perhaps this would yield a way to break that strange connection somehow, or at least explain it. The blood sickness was bad enough, she didn’t want another potentially fatal condition to deal with. Besides, these Great Ones and the beasts they fought had to be connected somehow...right? Though Sio didn’t know how exactly, instinct told her they co-existed for a reason. “Where is this friend of yours?”

Tell was about to speak when another voice cut in. “Oy, what’re you two doing...” The look Adam was casting him could only be described as daggers, but the other hunter didn’t seem to mind at all.

“Ah, Muirhead. Nothing much, was merely asking Miss Ogura if she would be interested in heading to the Orphanage at the top of the Upper Cathedral Ward.”

“An orphanage? Whatever for...” Adam’s eyes narrowed at that comment. He’d never heard of anything at the top of the Cathedral...though it was true, there were rumors of a locked gate leading to a secret place where only the most skilled and wise hunters were able to venture. “This isn’t the time to be taking any grand detours—”

“—You are not interested in why you could hear her? Rom, the Great One?” Adam tensed at the mention of that battle. “From what I’ve learned during my travels, not every hunter hears them, you know. The Great Ones...and to be able to understand more than just feelings and images...”

“...What are you insinuating?” A cold sweat ran down his spine. “I—yeh, sure, it would be nice to know, but I don’t think it’s anymore important than finishing the hunt—”

“—Is it?” Both Adam and Sio could only stare at Tell, unsure of what to do. “You have never wondered, how these beasts came to be in the first place, why this night continues so?” He was walking in circles around them, pose non-threatening as usual but Adam slowly gripped the handle of his pistol underneath his coat.

“The Orphanage. At the very top of Upper Cathedral Ward." He held up an elaborate, rusty key. “I will see you at the headstones if you wish to accompany me, and seek the truth.”

And then Tell left, coattails swirling behind as the girl collapsed on her knees while he continued staring, and wondering.

“Oh man...that was intense,” Sio shuddered, slowly picking herself back up. “What the heck was all that...”

“I don’t know; this Tell figure, I don’t get what he’s doing...bloody hard to figure out,” Adam muttered. “Sio, you alright? He didn’t do or say anything, did he?”

“N-No, it was kinda the same as he told you...he asked, if I wanted to know why I, I can hear those...things,” she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to erase those horrible memories. “I-I mean, I know you’re right and we don’t have much time, b-but I can’t help but wonder...what if he has a point? He said he has a friend or something there...a part of the Choir?”

A member of the Healing Church? Adam raised an eyebrow, but didn’t dismiss Sio’s words. The Church was definitely not his favorite group of people, but at least they were better than the Vilebloods. Marginally. “It’s true, I’d rather not take anymore unnecessary detours...but I am curious as well. And especially for you...”

Sio blushed with embarrassment and guilt. “A-Ah, I’m sorry—seriously, it’s not like Tell is forcing me to go, he just asked; honestly, we probably should just get on with the hunt—”

She stilled as he leaned over her, a somber expression on his face. “If you really want to Sio, then it’s your right and your choice. You don’t need my approval for everything; least of all something that so deeply affects you.” There it was again, this weird change in attitude he only showed sporadically. Still Sio couldn’t tell if really cared about her, or just put on a front to make her feel better.

“Erm, yeah sure...by the way, this isn’t related to anything, but...what’s with you?” She gave him a pointed stare. “I don’t want you to coddle me or anything, but I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t just dismiss me at the drop of a hat.”

Adam winced internally at that stare. Of course, Sio never let anything slip her by, not even when he brusquely brushed her off. “Ah, look, about that earlier...I apologise, I didn’t mean to. It’s just...” He glanced around, before nodding his head towards the more secluded part of the woods just beyond the gate. “There’s a reason I don’t want others t’ catch on about...us. Anymore than they already are.”

“O-Oh...makes sense.” Suddenly she felt guilty, thinking back to all the possible moments she might’ve let slip that they were involved now as more than just allies. “Sorry...you’re right, I should be more careful myself...I’m pretty sure Hunter’s already put two-and-two together by now—”

“—Hunter we can trust, and yeh, like you said he...pretty much already figured it out,” Adam muttered bashfully. “I’m talkin’ more about the others. Not just folks like Tell...but also Geronimo...and Mirza.” His eyes narrowed at the thought of those two. More than once already, they’d each hinted at how Sio was special somehow, not just as a hunter but to him, personally. “Especially those two; hate to admit it, but I’m startin’ to regret keeping them around...”

Sio felt a shiver of fear at Adam’s words. Just from working together with them, she’d learned the two were not to be trifled with; things were uneasy enough with her blood sickness, but if Adam was starting to become concerned, then there could only be consequences down the road if they weren’t careful. To be sure, Geronimo was always polite towards her, but her intentions towards infected hunters were painfully clear. And Mahesh Mirza...

“U-Uhm, Adam?” He gave her a curious look, but didn’t interrupt. “A, About Mirza...I, I don’t know, if this means anything--ah hell, maybe I was just imaging it—”

“—What is it Sio? Did he try anything with you?” She was surprised by how alarmed Adam seemed at the mere mention of the man, his expression changing and quickly he strode over to her. “What’s wrong?”

“U-Um, well...it’s just, you know how I was sleeping...in your lap, right after we came back from Cainhurst Castle, right?” A nod. “W, Well, this was right when I woke up, b-before you were awake...I, I noticed him just...staring at me...” Adam’s hand gently laid itself on her shoulder, the weight comforting her even as Sio felt her stomach twist at the memory. “I...I-I mean, I didn’t see him directly...it was only because, of the angle and where I was lying...I could see his face in the Stakedriver’s reflection...I-I don’t know if he could see back at me, o-or what, but...”

His grip on her shoulder tightened slightly but Adam didn’t say a word. So, his suspicions were correct...Mirza was indeed after the huntress, and not just on a flirtatious level. ‘This must have something to do with her blood sickness...and perhaps the ability to hear the Great Ones...’

“A, Adam... I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about this earlier, but...” He shook his head, gently patting her on the back as she tried not to cry. “I, I was just so shocked by it, a-and then we were getting ready to all go to Yahar’gul, I-I didn’t want to cause unnecessary trouble at a time like that...!”

“It’s all right Sio; I understand.” Adam sighed heavily before sitting down next to her. “Honestly, it’s my fault; I should’ve kept a closer eye on ‘im myself...and also not made it seem like things would be fine as long as I was around.” He should’ve known Mirza would find a way to get what he wanted, even with him and Hunter practically standing guard around Sio. “Thanks for telling me that, Ogura. And next time, trust your instincts. Hell, I’d trust yours more than I’d trust mine at this point...”

Sio nodded, burrowing her head slightly against his arm and was rewarded with a small embrace. “Thanks, Adam...but I’m just curious; how come you and Hunter always talk about Mirza like he’s some sort of...well, vagabond? Yet he’s part of our group?”

“Oh boy...now that’s a story.” Rubbing his temples, Adam wondered how much he should tell or where to even begin. “I guess the best way t’ put it is, he’s a bit of an...enigma. Born into a rich family, stable life and all that—then for some reason he throws it all away and goes about acting like a hunter and ends up gettin’ disowned by his parents...guess he’s got some skills, but it’s just...” Adam gave an aggravated sigh as he leaned back against the stone pillar. “It’s just, something about him doesn’t add up; he claims he just wants to ‘see the glory’ of being a hunter, and yeh he ain’t half-bad on the field, but still...he’s hiding something, that much I can sense. There’s just something about his actions and intentions that don’t make sense. He’s a hunter, but not for the reasons he says... And that’s not even counting his womanising behaviour. So yeh, tha’s why me an’ Hunter are wary of him...but I figured, it was better than lettin’ him wander away where I can’t keep an eye on him.”

“I see...” Sio contemplated Adam’s words with her own musings. Her suspicions weren’t far off either, the sense that Mirza was definitely after something, yet he acted with just enough charm that made it difficult for them to pin any sort of accusations of underhanded doings. ‘The type of person who knows how to get what they want, how to play the game without getting caught...’ The man reminded her of a snake, lying patiently in wait until the prey was close enough for a single, deadly strike. “In any case, I’ll be sure to watch myself around him...”

Adam nodded in agreement. “Yeh, I’ll mention to Hunter as well tha’ Mirza’s likely to try something if he thinks he can get away with it...hopefully two people might dissuade him from doing anything stupid...”

“Have you worked together with him in the past before? With Mirza?”

“Hmm? Well...wouldn’t exactly call it working together. After you’ve been in this business for a while, you tend to know who’s around and who’s likely to not get killed. We’ve teamed up once or twice to take on some particularly nasty beasts but that’s about it—went our separate ways pretty quickly afterwards, no need to stick around.” Adam shrugged. “Back then, my policy was t’ mind my own business, even if those I worked with weren’t exactly...trustworthy.”

The huntress hugged her knees and thought about Mirza’s behavior, and now Tell’s mysterious words. “So...do you, wanna go to the Orphanage, then? With Tell? I-I mean, I...personally, I kind of want to...if only I can finally understand why... Plus, I feel he at least has more morals than Mirza.”

Adam stood up at her words, lending a hand to the smaller girl. “Hell, why not. Hopefully won’t be a long detour...and I am kind of curious myself. Plus, there’s no way in hell I’m lettin’ ya go by yerself, ‘specially now,” he gave her a slightly roguish grin to which Sio blushed, “Tell himself asked me if I was curious as well...which makes me think this phenomenon concerns more than just you.”

The two strode in a comfortable silence to the headstones where the stoic Executioner awaited, eyebrow slightly raised but otherwise un-surprised to see them. The trio knelt at the headstones as the fog encompassed them, unaware of a fourth who then knelt down right behind them. ----- “This...can’t really be an orphanage...can it?” The foreboding atmosphere, thick fog and onerous shrieks that greeted them the second they arrived...and that wasn’t even counting the steps leading into the Upper Cathedral Ward, which were littered with countless grotesque, larval-like creatures that tried to spit acid on them with every step. “Ouch—damn this acid—!” The pain in her foot burned, but even worse was the familiar feeling of losing herself, her control slipping away and giving in to that frenzied bloodlust... Growling low in her throat, she transformed the Rifle Spear, charging it up towards those stupid larvae—

“Oy Sio, careful! Here, drink this,” and before Sio could push him away a dark, pungent liquid pushed past her lips, the girl swallowing clumsily and coughing as she choked on the thick sedative. “There...feeling all right now? Have some water as well.”

“Ugh...ooh, what the...” Still coughing, Sio wiped her bloody mouth with her sleeve, flinching as she noticed the crimson color. “What th—wh, what did you just give me?”

“A sedative; concocted at Byrgenwerth, it helps calms those whose nerves are easily frayed...such as yourself, Miss Ogura.” She turned to the voice of William Tell, who was picking off the creatures with several molotovs. “I noticed it when you were fighting in Cainhurst, and again in Yahar’gul...but you have an affliction towards frenzy...do you not?”

Sio could only nod helplessly, upset and frightened this hunter had figured her out so easily. Not just that...but what he could do with such knowledge... Even with Hunter and Adam’s support, it wouldn’t be wise to strain things anymore within the group. “Y, Yeah...I guess it’s pretty obvious by now...but, wait a minute, you called it frenzy, and this...sedative, you knew...this place, the Choir...” Tell was looking at her with an almost amused gaze, as if he enjoyed watching the huntress putting the pieces together at last. “You...know about this condition. And it’s related to the Great Ones...and how I can hear them...isn’t it?”

As she finished her hypothesis Sio knew she was correct, judging from the rare smile Tell was giving her. “Again, you astound me with your insight and knowledge, young huntress. You are correct; the reason you tend to go into a frenzy, is because your mind is particularly vulnerable to the whisperings of those Great Ones...so whenever you come in contact with them or one of their kin, you are at risk to lose your mind to whatever madness they try to tell you.”

“B-But then, that means...a-are you saying I’ll eventually go insane? And why the hell are they trying to talk to me?” Sio felt herself go numb with dread, wondering how much her sanity was already gone.

“That’s what the sedative is for. It will help to counteract and strengthen your mind against such probings,” Tell answered, “though as with any form of blood ministration it should be used sparingly, so it’s best to avoid coming in too-close contact with any of them. As for what and why...well, perhaps my colleague will be able to answer it better than any of my own delusions.”

Sio nodded mutely, still distraught over her own realizations and the fact that she’d just swallowed an entire bottle of human blood. As if having to inject blood vials wasn’t bad enough...but if she wanted to protect herself from any more madness, what choice did she have?

“This place...it’s so dependent on blood—no, they’re obsessed,” she muttered to herself as they proceeded inside the dilapidated hall. Adam and Tell took the lead as they scouted ahead cautiously, while Sio waited until a signal for her to either charge forward or else stay back as they handled the numerous brain suckers, werewolves and other horrors present inside the cathedral. A terrible shriek and shattering of broken glass startled her out of her thoughts, as a pair of monstrous werewolves crashed through the thin frame and into the crowded corridor where she waited. Shaking off the glass, she didn’t even wait for the two men to catch up before her Rifle Spear pierced deep into one of them, shooting the second to fend it off while she finished the first. The floor was slick with blood and entrails by the time Adam and Tell returned from dealing with the third, Sio already wiping up her weapons while two massive corpses lay at her feet. Though he didn’t say anything, Tell gave her an even glance, before the three of them continued up through the center of the mansion.

Even as a group of three, and her increased experience, still Sio felt the constant dread of fear, hanging just out of reach to prevent it from overwhelming her completely, yet enough unease remained to keep her pulse high and all senses hyper-focused for any potential threat. Despite its innocuous name, Upper Cathedral Ward was anything but mundane; beyond the numerous threats of werewolves and brainsuckers was the building itself, rotting and dark with stairs that creaked ominously and evidence of hideous experiments strewn about.

As they reached the top Sio’s eyes slid over to a curious statue, posed with arms outstretched in peculiar manner. If it weren’t for the gravity of the situation, she might’ve even laughed. Still, when Adam and Tell were taking a breather, Sio couldn’t help but raise her arms as well, mimicking the strange pose and then it seemed as if she’d...gained something, although nothing physical happened.

“That’s an interesting gesture you’re doing, Ogura.” She yelped in embarrassment as the two men came rounding the corner, Tell raising an eyebrow and Adam giving her just the slightest of winks, as she mumbled something about ‘just stretching’, before following the two in an awkward silence. When would she be able to act like a real, grown-up hunter instead of a bumbling newbie?

The anxiety eased slightly as they finally reached the tall doors, which Tell handily opened with the key. The actual orphanage didn’t seem to be much better, though the outside air was an improvement compared to the stale and fetid damp that stuck to her nostrils no matter how much she breathed. They were now in some sort of garden, filled with large flowers she didn’t recognize that faintly glowed whenever she approached them.

“What are these flowers? I’ve never seen them before...” She was tempted to reach out and touch one, their soft light lulling her into a bit of a trance-like state.

“Lumenflowers; for some reason, they’re quite common in this area. To the best of my knowledge they’re not dangerous, but one does wonder why they glow like that...”

Sio quickly withdrew her fingers after that comment. Better to be safe than sorry, especially in a place like this. Still, the garden was much needed after fighting the dark for so long; Sio didn’t even notice how tight her grip was until they paused for a break, having to pry her fingers from the dirty bandages that wrapped around the Rifle Spear’s shaft.

“Oy, how’re you holdin’ up?” It took every fiber of her being to not jump suddenly as his voiced pierced her ear, even as she welcomed his presence. “A bit jumpy, huh...don’t blame yeh; been gettin’ weird vibes this entire time...and it’s not just the unwelcome company.” Adam gave a slight glance around the area. “I just hope this friend we’re supposedly meeting ain’t gonna be another lunatic we need to worry abou...” His voice trailed off and Sio felt a sudden quiver of unease run through her, the very air itself becoming charged with a kind of energy that set all the hairs on her neck straight up.

“Wh-what’s, what’s going on...there’s, something...”

“...It seems we’ve company to deal with first, before meeting up with Nostradamus...wonderful.” Sio barely caught the name of their contact before strange, little blue pygmys streamed into the room, their bulbous heads aglow with an ominous light as they ran on spindly little legs that somehow did not snap under their own weight. They did not growl like the usual monsters, only gibberish as they ran around the hunters, the circle growing increasingly tight as Sio felt the suffocating frenzy building up again...ignoring her own disgust, she forced another bottle of sedative down, resisting the urge to heave. No matter how repulsive she found the blood to be, there was no denying it did help to keep her calm, to focus on the task at hand instead of blindly charging forward.

“What the hell are these things?” Adam’s Stakedriver was working full-time in knocking out the seemingly endless wave. “They’re not beasts, are they?”

“No; from what I’ve gathered, and Nostradamus’ notes, these creatures were once human, but did not turn into beasts. Rather, they’re something else entirely...” Tell’s arrows fired effortlessly into the distance, picking off the stumbling blue blobs one-by-one. “Tch...there’s no end to these things...”

“There must be a leader of some sorts...I’m sure if we can find and take it out, the underlings will lose their direction and be easy enough to pick off.” Sio tried to scan the creatures to discern which one could be different, but they all looked the same. But their behavior...her eyes narrowed as she noticed a particular creature standing around, not running or attacking. ‘Wait a minute, why’s that one not doing anything...? Maybe...!’ Without another word she shoved herself through the fray, ignoring the bumbling blue hands that tried to hold her back and their arcane magic that left painful burns through her clothes. Those could be healed up, but not if they couldn’t stem the flow...

“Tell! Adam! I think I’ve got it!” The two men turned towards her shouts, as Sio’s spear sank into the blue creature. “Over here!” Although this particular creature hadn’t been attacking, now that she was effectively ripping it to shreds, it too started to become hostile. The more she struck, the larger it seemed to grow; until suddenly there was a burst of light and the creature instantly swelled in size, now with additional tentacles sprouting from its head. “Uh oh!”

“Sio!” Adam tackled the girl down just in time before both of them got hit with an arcane blast. “You hurt? Damn, th’ thing’s huge now!”

“True, but at least we finally have a target!” Her face was pulled back in a wide-eyed grin, Adam feeling a little uneasy about her battle lust but at least she seemed to be resisting their frenzy. “Come on, let’s take it out!” And without even waiting for a response she tore back into the alien, firing a shot to disable the tentacles as she tore out its guts in another visceral attack as Adam attacked its flank.

With their combined efforts and Tell’s arrows, soon enough the creature toppled over, the smaller underlings vanishing in an instant and all was silent in the gardens again. Adam took a quick glance over at Sio, who was panting with exhaustion but otherwise seemed none worse for wear. The dangerous grin she wore during battle had faded, replaced with a tired grimace. “Oy, you all right? Here, we should patch up your burns...”

“Oh, it’s not a big deal—yeeoow!” Sio couldn’t help but jump from the pain as Adam swabbed her burned skin with an antiseptic, all the while giving her a look. “O-Okay, maybe I should take care of these...ow, don’t press so hard!” She winced as he went over a particularly deep wound.

“Sorry, my bad...” He was no Hunter when it came to the gentle dexterity needed to not unintentionally hurt patients, but sometimes the basics had to be enough. “Apologies; this better now?”

“Y-Yeah...thanks.” He nodded and then stood up, using his body as a curtain to give her some privacy while she quickly changed into a spare shirt, the breeze chilling against her bare skin.

“So what, is this friend of yours ever goin’ to show his face? Or was this all for nothing?” Adam eyed Tell with a wary glance as the archer came trotting up. “Unless there’s more...”

Adam didn’t even finish his sentence before they all heard the slow clap, clap, clap, footsteps now approaching the trio from seemingly nowhere. He was a young man, with orange-red hair and slightly shorter in stature compared to Tell, dressed in the classic uniform of The Choir: billowing white robes, long black glove and their signature blindfold cap, signaling their desire to commune with the heavens and their debt to Master Willem.

“My, my...you did not inform me you were bringing guests, dear friend? Let’s see...two additional hunters, one male and one female...one who is on the verge of succumbing to the blood sickness, and both...ah, I understand now, Tell. I understand all too well, why it is they came with you...”

“Muirhead, Ogura. My contact from The Choir, Michel de Nostradamus.” Tell nodded towards the man, who bowed slightly in return. “Do not be afraid; I can promise he does not mean any harm towards you.”

Sio found his words hard to believe, instead shrinking back towards Adam who subtly wound a hand around her shoulder in a protective manner. Despite the blindfold, Nostradamus had identified them with an astonishing degree of accuracy; not only who they were, but her affliction, which she didn’t even think Tell knew.

“Oh dear, perhaps I’ve frightened them?” Nostradamus gave a tinkling laugh. “Come come, there’s no need to stand around like strangers. Please, come this way, and I shall explain everything. He continued beckoning them towards the other building, able to navigate the hallways as if he didn’t have a blindfold at all.

Part of her wanted to just forget about this wild goose chase and return to the dream, but another part was burning with curiosity. That, and the fact they’d already fought their way through this entire Cathedral and then the gardens, meant they might as well go through with whatever secrets this Nostradamus held. There was an encouraging pat on her shoulder and she turned to see Adam giving her a small smile, Sio nodding silently as both of them followed the other two inside.

#documentation #hunt or be hunted #//wow i am in update mode #//kind of #//more like a bunch of chapters were hanging for a long time until finally figured out how to continue #//my bad #//feels bad for taking so long...i know folks were waiting on this one

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infinitd · 4 years

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Guilty

This is the last one. I’m already hovering the delete button but I have to type this one out first. It’s been sitting stewing and now festering in the back of my mind for way too long now. I’m guilty of way too much all at the same time and all of them with the singular cause that is me. Maybe this blog is public in that secret shared way some thigns get and the whole squad has BEEN reading it and trying to give healing and support in their own way without really knowing. lol. NOT. Well.... Where to even begin? Weed? Lix? Lovers? Parents? Brain? Siblings? Art? Pretty cool how they present themselves like that once you open the double bolted, extra secured walled off and guarded door. So lets do the order they’re already in. Weed Is great and now it gives me anxiety and mild panic attacks. I get so paranoid I feel like the whole world is watching me and even now the primary craving is for fucking nicotine of all things and the association built between the 2 are too strong to break. Not that it would even be useful to. Weeds usefullness has run its course in my life and a dependancy I have spent the better part of a decade now has to go unsatisfied with a complete reversion to sobriety because alcohol was gotten over LONG ago. I’m still tending towards bingeing behaviour with that but its almsot always a reaction rather than an actual desire to get fuucked up. No more high nights floating just under my ceiling . Hours and hours of dota and that most NEET night time routines. No more weed first thing at parties or braais and hanging with friends too stoned to converse or just talking about weed like its the only thing in my life. Prepare for a million comments on how different I am and a tacit understanding that I probably wanna get high until everyone gets used to the idea of me just being and then aggresively EXISTING again. Along with all the negative attention that comes with that I have completely lost understanding and connection with. Well that’s weed I guess (Shit i got distracted and Imma have to read all this shit again )

Lix

The bestie thing is all fucked up and my (probably correct) suspicion is that he’s just good old tired of me. I nthat friend way. There is literally no value to my friendship. Not even material and he’s unemployed at the moment so you know it’s bad. That last cash send felt like paying rent on a friendship and I figure he must have also felt pretty gross taking it even though he needed it. Lol I wont be doing that again.I’m just intellectually and emotionally inferior at the moment, Fuck the complex. It’s just faxx now. The other one is at least figureing out (bizarre and mildly fucked up) shit for himself but Stormu no Kyodai really is just about over now. The bands broken up and all those successful bands breakups make sense now. You’ve just drawn every but of moisture and goodness out of a thing and it gets husky and weird to keep tending to it. I haven’t been a decent human being never mind friend for so long that I completely udnerstand and agree with how I’m being handled. It doesn’t even hurt that bad. It’s just weird and awkward for everyone involved and it does me no good to be catching shots. especialyl when i’m not really doing anything about it then and there. It’s only ever fun if I have a reply and this time I don’t. not even a little one. Just weak allusions to “progress” when it’s just good old fashioned laziness now. So this I deserve and I’m trying to cultivate my own friendships but my source material to work with now isn’t great and invariably I will probably find myself in a similar position to him before long. That weed addition is pretty rough on anything truly meaningful. All in all it is pretty sad that things can go this way especialyl with the newest addition of having productive and contributary friends in your life. Of course it’sa good thing but it did kinda eliminate me from the running and that makes me lame. Now it’s just navigating this kinda weird and uncomfortable space where he wont say shit to cause damage. I wotn say shit cos I have hope and in the meanwhile the relationship will circle the proverbial drain until distance, time or some other factor snaps the last frayed string. But it is what it is. Lovers

Is actualyl kinda good. The one thing i’ve reconciled at the seeming expense of everything else is love and relationships and my ways of dealing and itneracting with em. I don’t miss exes and I don’t pine over lost lovers other that the typical momentary lapses which is cool. My current love is great. She’s good to me and I’m trying to be to her and its just good, Good all round. All good. Goodness. I sometimes feel like im trying to convince my self of something when it coems to this but actions and results sort of show themselves and it’s just been a constant relief since I’ve surrendered to it really. I’m not even holding my breath for it to last or building foundation. I’m just doing and that seems to work out best when it comes to just about everything.( This does not Feel Good Inc). PRetty wild to me that the lvoers part of this is by far the shortest and best handled but its revelaton did come at the cost of everyting else so yeah...

Parents Is god fucking awful. I mean in truth it’s kind of incredible. I’ve got the best pair imaginable on my team but it’s the resignation that kills my heart of hearts. There is no more expectation of hope or action. No drive or threats. Just plain shoulder shrugs and even that i deserve but when I finally figred it out it floored me. I have no idea baout their intentions or plans anymore. I’m completely out of the loop for the whole family it seems and I’m jsut waiting for the announcement of the intervention or the move out order or the random cash giveaway to get rid of me, I don’t even know but if not for mom I’d have been kicked out long ago. That’s pretty much a certainty and that “mothering” thing is startign to show both it’s calue and its problems. It’s far too comfortable a place to give up easily especially when you don’t bother to be really self aware. But here we are typing the things out. That’s ...a thing.... That they’ll never read or know about and that’s ok.

Brain

Is poop cos I smoked too much but its Ok too. The regeneration process is gonna be a trip of its own. Really uncomfortable and loopy with unexplainable feelings and intuitions but that’s also OK. Better than Ok it’s recovery. The body will will be right there trhrough the process. I’m even interested in things again. Siblings is also a bit fucky. The disappointment is tangible but they’re not allowed to give up yet. We all inherited that one and it does help when i see the glimmers of hope. I don’t feel garbage but it normally starts with e being normal and not being in my head while interacting. Doing that assuming the best thing I used to be so good at. E is over me and kinda frustrated. Very Kev of him. Neez is trying but she has another baby to babysit and care about and I’m a tangential concern at best. The Suicide scare kind of reminded them of my existence in a weird but valuable way but it’s not an angle Im really trying to take. Especially now that I jsut realised what that anrrative ust look like to everyone it was shared withg hand it certainly was with khan which means by extension by the rest of the family. Probably explains strange interations now while i’ve been willfully poblivious and now I have to work to be cool again but it also wont ever be the same again unless someone else fucks up. But that’s a life long journey and doesn’t feel like it has the same urgency as the others. I’m alot more understood than I thought I was and that’s not a bad thing .

Art I’m going to go and make art and eat my girlfriends pussy and that’ll make me feel better and I’m excited for that.

Goodbye old complainy tumblr

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imagineproduce101 · 7 years

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Of Spreadsheets and Small Children

Your boss (and longtime crush) Hwang Minhyun has always seemed very collected and stern. However, your impression of him changes when he begins bringing his niece to work, tasked by his sister with watching the toddler while she’s away. The two of you bond over her.

for the single!dad au and i kno minhyun isn’t a dad (he’s an uncle) but like theres still children sO,,,

also the company is named empire bc emperor hwang lmao im not funny

and reader is a secretary

You sighed, doing your best to prop open your eyelids as you typed into the spreadsheet, carefully crosschecking the data you were entering to the online database.

“Late night again?” Your coworker and best friend at work, Kim Jaehwan, asked you as he popped into your small office, sending you a sympathetic smile. You groaned, leaning back to take a quick break. Your back cracked at the movement as you looked up at the clock on the wall, ticking away steadily.

“Yeah, boss is still out, so I’ve had extra work,” you explained with a shrug, turning your attention back to your computer.

“Minhyun never takes this much time off, I wonder what happened?” Jaehwan commented dryly, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. You shot him a dirty look.

“Mr. Hwang,” you corrected with a roll of your eyes, “and shouldn’t you be finishing your own work?”

“Somehow, irritating you is a lot more interesting,” he snickered, saluting you, “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, see you,” you bobbed your head as he finally left your office.

You’d had a job at Empire Co. for about a year and a half, working as the CEO’s assistant and secretary. Hwang Minhyun, a collected, slightly cold and brusque man, had grown to become extremely dependent on you, and it was strange to go to work without Minhyun’s presence right next door, separated by one thin sheet of glass.

It was the first time he’d been gone for more than a couple of hours—the man had even come in to work when he had the flu, coughing and wheezing as he disinfected every surface of the office. Citing a ‘family emergency’, he’d been away for about a week, and it was strange. Rumors had gone flying that he’d perhaps gotten arrested, gotten a girl pregnant or was getting married in Las Vegas. You’d rolled your eyes to all three conspiracies.

Your phone notification went off, signaling to you that you had new text messages with its quick succession.

Messages with: ceo hwang

(y/n), I will be returning tomorrow

Please have the Min files ready on my desk

And a jar of peanut butter

You frowned at the last text.

>Peanut butter?

You will be reimbursed, of course

You smiled at your boss’s apparent ignorance to the fact that it was super weird for a boss to ask their secretary to buy peanut butter for them.

Nevertheless, the next day, you arrived to the Empire building with the thick manila envelope holding the Min files and three jars of peanut butter—creamy, chunky, and the natural kind (you hadn’t been sure which he had wanted, but were too shy to ask). As you hurried to Minhyun’s office, you couldn’t help but wonder what the hell he needed peanut butter for.

“Ah, (y/n)!” Minhyun sent you a smile, accepting the grocery bag and manila envelope, “thank you so much, I really do appreciate it.”

“Who’s that?”

You froze at the sound of a high pitched voice, gaze immediately darting towards the source of noise. It was a toddler peeking out from behind Minhyun’s desk. Her hair was gathered up in a messy ponytail on the top of her head, and she clutched a raggedy blanket in her hand.

You looked back at Minhyun, entirely confused as to why there was a toddler in the office.

“(y/n), this is Minah,” Minhyun said, holding out his hand. The toddler, Minah, tottered over, clasping her hand into his. You wanted to coo at how adorable her tiny hands were as she peered up at you with huge eyes. “Minah, this is (y/n). They help me a lot at work, and is super kind and helpful.”

“Hi,” Minah smiled widely up at you, showing off her adorable dimples.

“Hi, Minah,” you said, kneeling to the ground, “are you here to visit the office?”

“Ah, actually,” Minhyun smiled in embarrassment, rubbing the back of his neck, “my sister asked me to watch Minah for a couple of weeks. She’s on a business trip to the tropics, and didn’t want to risk having Minah catch an illness, since she’s so young.”

“Ah,” you nodded in understanding, “so she’s not your kid?”

Minhyun turned a bit red at that, “did you think she was?”

You shrugged, trying to suppress a laugh, “that’s what the coworkers were thinking—that you’d taken time for some child or something. They started a betting pool.”

“Well, then you’d better tell them to settle their debts,” Minhyun chuckled at that. You were a bit surprised at the moment—you’d never really made small talk like this with Minhyun before. He would ask about your family and how you were doing, but never to this extent.

“Uncle, uncle,” Minah began complaining, “my hair is messy, and it’s making my head itch!”

“Baby, you know I don’t know how to tie hair,” Minhyun sighed, kneeling down to meet Minah at eye-level. “It took me thirty minutes just to figure out this one,” Minhyun whispered to you, making you chuckle.

“May I?” You asked, gesturing to Minah. Your own older brother had a couple kids, so you were pretty comfortable with taking care of them.

“Please,” Minhyun replied, stepping back to let you sit down next to Minah.

“Here,” you patted the ground in front of you, taking a seat on the floor of Minhyun’s office. It was one of the strangest situations you’d ever been in—doing the hair of your boss’s niece—but Minah was cute, which kind of made up for it.

You carefully smoothed out Minah’s hair before tying half of it up into a little sprout at the top of her hair, leaving the hair tie loose enough so that it wouldn’t hurt her head.

“There you go,” you said cheerfully, getting back onto your feet.

“Wow, you’re pretty good at this,” Minhyun observed as Minah peered at herself in Minhyun’s computer reflection. “Do you have younger siblings?”

“I have nieces and nephews myself,” you explained with a smile, gathering your things, “so I have a bit of experience watching kids. If you ever need any help, feel free to ask.”

“It’s alright, I couldn’t impose on you like that,” Minhyun assured you, “well, thank you for your help.”

“Yeah, no problem,” you replied, heading to your own desk quickly. As you powered up your computer, you glanced at Minhyun’s office through the see-through glass wall, and almost burst out laughing—Minhyun was vigorously wiping Minah’s face with an antibacterial cleaning wipe used to clean bathrooms and hard surfaces.

Messages with: ceo hwang

>mr. hwang, those wipes aren’t meant for children…

You watched in amusement as Minhyun checked his phone before looking over at you through the glass, a sheepish look on his face as he discarded the used wipe.

Its been an hour and I’ve already messed up…

For the next few days, you were thoroughly amused by Minah’s antics. One morning, she’d come into your office with a jar of peanut butter, eating it straight from the jar with a spoon.

“Sweetie, what are you doing?” you asked between laughs, going to take the jar from her.

“I like peanut butter,” she replied bluntly, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I know, but we don’t eat peanut butter straight, baby,” you said with a laugh, leading her back to Minhyun’s office, “we put it on other things, like crackers or bread.”

“But Uncle said it was healthy,” Minah protested, pouting up at you.

“Yeah, well, Uncle’s never taken care of children before,” you replied, thinking back to the day before when you’d caught Minhyun practically bathing the poor girl in hand sanitizer. One of these days, his clean freak tendencies would be the death of him.

Minhyun looked up at you sheepishly from his computer, a small smile on his lips.

“Mr. Hwang,” you started, eyes darting up to the clock on the wall.

“Please, call me Minhyun,” he cut in with a smile, “I think you’ve scolded me enough times to warrant a first-name basis.”

“Right, Minhyun,” you repeated, much to Minhyun’s obvious pleasure, “anyways, if you’re alright with it, I can take Minah out to grab some lunch? My break is starting now, and she seems to be getting a little antsy.”

“Would you really?” Minhyun sent you one of his smiles, “You’re an angel, (y/n).” You felt your heart race a bit at that, but smiled anyways, holding your hand out for Minah to hold onto.

The two of you ended up at a small café near the building, Minah enjoying her mac’n’cheese while you had a sandwhich.

“You should marry Uncle,” Minah said suddenly as she spooned some of the pasta into her mouth. You choked at that, coughing loudly to dislodge the lettuce that had gotten stuck in your throat. Minah carried on, oblivious to how much your eyes were watering as you wheezed, “then you would be able to see me whenever I visited Uncle, and I really like you. Plus, I heard him telling Uncle Jonghyun about how he thinks you’re really pretty.”

You eyed Minah suspiciously, taking a deep sip of your water, “he said that?”

“Yeah,” Minah nodded her head, smacking her lips. You smiled, reaching over to wipe the cheese off of her lips. “He said that you were pretty, a hard worker, caring, and inte-inte-intelliment.” She listed these things off, counting with her fingers.

“Intelligent?” you asked, helping her slide the water glass closer so that she could take a sip.

“Yeah, that,” Minah nodded, “so just ask him to marry you.”

You held back a laugh, charmed by how adorable Minah was—you didn’t want to process the information she’d just given you quite yet. “I don’t think that’s quite how I want it to work, baby, but I appreciate it.”

Later that day, when you had settled down at your desk again, you pondered the meaning behind her words. Minhyun thought that you were pretty? And he thought you were pretty enough to apparently talk about you to his best friend?

Kim Jonghyun didn’t work at Empire, but his law firm had worked with Empire many times, which was how you knew that the two men were extremely close, having been in a best friend group since before high school. The fact that Minhyun had confided that in him made you wonder if maybe, just maybe, Minhyun had the same feelings as you did.

“(y/n)?”

Minhyun’s voice startled you out of your thoughts, and you jumped in your seat, banging your shin against your desk.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I startle you?” Minhyun apologized.

“No, it’s not your fault,” you assured him, “I was just spacing out. What’s up?”

“Jisung from HR told me how much overtime you put in while I was gone,” Minhyun explained, “and you really didn’t have to.”

You smiled up at him, waving a hand, “it’s totally fine, it wasn’t a bit deal.”

“Still,” Minhyun insisted, “I was wondering if maybe you’d like to grab dinner as a thanks for all the hard work?”

“Mr—I mean, Minhyun—really, that’s not necessary,” you said, feeling your cheeks heat up slightly, “I was just doing my job.

“Yeah your job and half of mine,” Minhyun retorted playfully, “please. You deserve a fun night, and Minah will be there as well.”

You sighed, weighing your options—go out to dinner with the man of your dreams and an adorable child, or go home and binge Netflix. The choice seemed glaringly obvious.

“Alright, I’ll go,” you agreed, “but doesn’t Minah need to sleep pretty early?”

Minhyun wrinkled her nose at that, “the demon never sleeps,” he whispered conspiratorially.

“Hey, I’m not a demon!”

You glanced around the main room of the restaurant, feeling incredibly out of place among the glimmering chandeliers and ornate paintings.

“We can go somewhere else, if you’d like,” Minhyun said into your ear quietly, “I know it’s a bit fancy.”

“It’s okay,” you reassured him, “it’s nice here.”

The three of you were seating in a booth towards the back, Minah opting to sit next to you instead of Minhyun, who had pouted at that. After ordering some appetizers for the three of you, Minhyun asked you about your day kindly, turning his attention towards you.

Obviously, you’d talked and had conversations with Minhyun before, but never like this—never to that extent. He was attentive, and you were surprised to find out that he remembered your parents lived in New York and your brother in California.

“I supposed you have to remember all of the coworkers’ families, huh?” You laughed, taking a sip of water, “I wonder how many times you’ve heard that story about Jaehwan’s dad.”

“Which?” Minhyun asked, clearly puzzled. You paused—if Minhyun remembered some super obscure fact about your mom you’d mentioned once in passing, surely he’d remember the famous story about Jaehwan’s dad that Jaehwan insisted on recounting at every work event.

“You know, the one about Jaehwan’s dad in church?” You elaborated, waving your hands. Minhyun just continued to stare blankly, so you launched into the story, trying not to dwell on the fact that Minhyun knew more about you than the most talkative guy in the office.

As your main courses were brought out, Minah began chattering away about how her day had been—apparently, Jaehwan had brainwashed her into calling him “oppa”, to which Minhyun strongly protested, since Jaehwan was only a tiny bit younger than Minhyun himself.

“He’s an uncle too!” Minhyun cried, burying his face into his hands.

“No, he’s an oppa,” Minah said petulantly, ”he’s young, and more handsomer than you.”

“More handsome, baby,” Minhyun said, tsking under his breath.

“It’s okay, Minhyun, I think you’re more handsome than Jaehwan,” you said before you could filter yourself, cringing internally as soon as the words slipped out. Minah beamed up at you, and Minhyun sent you a small smile, cheeks tinged a bit pink.

The rest of the night passed quickly, Minah making sure to make fun of how Minhyun ate his salads (‘you look like a rabbit! You’re not a rabbit!).

Finally, the meal ended, and the waiter was giving you the look that said ‘get out of my restaurant so I can serve new guests’. Minhyun, ever the gentleman, offered to drive you home.

He pulled up to your apartment and hurried to walk you to the door, Minah making a kissy face from the back window. You snickered at how cheeky she’d gotten, and followed behind Minhyun.

“Minhyun, seriously, thank you for the dinner,” you said earnestly, “it was loads of fun, and I’m really glad that I agreed to go.”

“Me too,” Minhyun said warmly, smiling over at you. You felt your heart race up, and it was almost as though time had frozen. You stared at him, watching his eyes dart down to your lips and back up to your eyes. “(y/n),” he said quietly, as though to not disturb the moment. “Can I…” his voice trailed off, as he looked down at the ground, cheeks now bright red.

You rolled your eyes and leaned up on your tiptoes, pressing a kiss to his lips. His eyes widened in shock, and you couldn’t help but smile at how cute his expression was.

“Wha—how did you know?” He asked as a smile overtook his shocked expression, reaching down to intertwine his fingers with yours.

“You’re not exactly Mr. Slick,” you laughed, squeezing his hand, “plus, Minah’s been asking me to marry you for a couple of days now—I guess she overheard your conversation with Jonghyun.”

Minhyun winced, cheeks coloring again, “you heard that? Ah, that’s so embarrassing.”

You snickered, “well, it’s not embarrassing if we actually date, is it?”

Minhyun perked up at that, looking at you hopefully, “you would be willing to date me? Me, the guy who wipes his niece’s face with Lysol wipes?”

You grinned, pressing another quick kiss to his cheeks, “I would.”

“So does that mean you will marry Uncle?”

Minhyun groaned, glaring down at his grinning niece. “Minah, how did you even get out of the car?”

“I opened the door,” Minah shot back, shooting a look up at her uncle. You laughed at her expression, swooping down to kiss the top of her head.

“I dunno, we’ll have to see how well uncle does now,” you said, sending a mischievous look to Minhyun, who blushed and just shook his head.

(Minhyun does extremely well.) (And Minah is the flower girl at your wedding.)

#produce 101 #produce 101 imagine #produce 101 scenario #produce 101 oneshot #produce 101 fanfiction #wanna one #wanna one imagine #wanna one scenario #wanna one oneshot #nu'est #nu'est imagine #nu'est scenario #nu'est oneshot #hwang minhyun #hwang minhyun scenario #hwang minhyun oneshot #hwang minhyun imagine

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gruesim · 7 years

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GUESS WHOSE BIRTHDAY IS TODAY???

I just wanna say Happy Birthday to Joke @mimisapje, you are truly one of the best friends a girl could have and my other half on tumblr. I hope you have the most awesome day!!!

For those who don’t know, let me tell you a little about Joke:

When I started my tumblr a couple of years back, I had the same issues a lot of new tumblrs have; nobody knew me and I often felt left out or ignored. I am not shy, so I did talk comment on posts etc, but for a year or so I often had that feeling that people would say “thank you” to compliments and that was it.

Nobody was very interested in me or my sims. I answered to a couple of those “looking for a sim for XY” posts where people want some sims for stories etc and always got polite declines that really didn’t make me feel much better. One day though I send one out and Joke actually replied, totally excited saying she would LOVE to have one of my sims for her game. It felt so good to have someone actually be interested and mean it. I was super happy and sent my sim over. Not only did she keep talking to poor old unknown me, but she put my sim into her legacy and really used him. I made my first tumblr friend that day and owe her the motivation to keep my tumblr going.

A while later the IM system came and somebody had to message you for it to be available for you. I was still not known at this point (this never really bothered me, I just don’t like being treated like I am not important when I message someone). As soon as she got it, Joke send me an IM. We chatted pretty much every day and it was awesome. I learnt so much of what I teach you guys from her and even though she was known in the tumblr community, she never once gave me the feeling that my lack of followers was an issue. Sometime later she decided to try her hand at creating CC and was patient enough to teach me how. It was also her awesome idea to start up our store.

Now many co-owned stores seem to develop issue over time, and I am not gunna say Joke and I don’t discuss things, but we are perfectly happy to agree to disagree ;) We built our store and our simblrs in a way that we can support those who need it. My friendship with Joke is what inspired me to meet new people, to not care about how many people know their tumblr or what it looks like, to give everyone help and the feeling like they are important. I still have experiences where I feel people show very little interest, but I have also met a lot of awesome people on here who gave us the chance to become friends.

A year ago Joke and I made plans to meet up, I was going to go to Belgium and visit her (I am less shy and anxious so I was gunna go to her ;)). We both were not sure how it was gunna go, things in RL can be very different. My train was early so I had to wait at the station for her and I was getting slightly nervous myself when she popped up. And it was instantly like we had know each other for years, as if we were sisters. There was never an awkward moment, it was like a 4 day amazing slumber party with your bestie and I honestly cannot wait till she comes to visit me this summer!

I hope if people read this it inspires some people to just go for it. If someone sends you an IM, whatever it is about, just ask them a question back, start a conversation. It might not work out in the long run, but it may also become a beautiful friendship. What counts is who is behind the tumblr not the sims they post. Be open to collabs with anyone, even if their sim is not your style, taking a picture with them isn’t a commitment but it can still bring a smile to someones face :)

And Joke, I just want to say how proud I am to know someone like you. You really made tumblr into a place I want to be and helped me be the kind of person I want to be. I hope Sketchbook Pixels becomes very old and we manage to visit each other every year :) I am super proud of what you have accomplished in RL this year, too. You worked so hard and I am so happy that it all paid off in the end. You deserve it. So have the best birthday you can have and this cute little sim toddler, and when you get here I will take you to the Zoo ;)

Love you Joob!!!

#mimisapje #birthday

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yoshesqueblr · 7 years

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Bayonetta Retrospective: An Update On The Lack Of Updates

I started my latest youtube series almost a year ago, with the intention of revisiting my favourite game with an updated lens. Things have been going slow on the updates lately, and I feel like I need to provide an explanation for a couple of things.

1. The missing updates

I know that people watching my latest series will be very confused at this. About a month ago I made the first four updates of this series private, never again intended to be viewable on my channel. There are many reasons for this, but the main one is that my co-commentator and I had a massive falling out, and I have no wish to be associated with him in any way any more. The finer details of this falling out are already known to anybody who follows me on twitter, but to my larger audience on youtube, they will have little to no clue about this. I will cover the details of this later in this update, but suffice to say those videos will never be coming back.

2. The co-commentator change

Save for a few viewers, I don’t believe there was much surprise at me changing commentators in this series. I originally had every intention of finishing the series with no changes in commentator, but external events prevented that from happening. Again, this is related to the aforementioned falling out I had with my old co-commentator.

It is highly likely that the series will be completed with the current commentator, assuming that they agree to it.

3. The lack of updates

The reasons for a lack of updates has been twofold; the major one being the falling out I had with my co-commentator, and the other being health-related. I have been in and out of hospital regularly since the beginning of this year, and this has obviously been disruptive to any update schedule I might have had.

Things are on the mend now, so look forward to sporadic updates again soon.

4. The falling out

I’m not sure where to begin with this. I have extensively documented the events over the last six months on my twitter. However, twitter is not the best platform for following a story spread over numerous tweets, so I’ll document the details here for posterity.

My old co-commentator and I were dating, from February 2016 to January 2017. I’ll henceforth refer to him as my ex to make things easier. We bonded over our appreciation of shared hobbies and simply became good friends, which then progressed to a relationship. This was a long distance relationship.

Obviously, things did not work out between us, and we broke up mutually in January 2017, towards the end of my stay with him. This was when I had gone over to see him in his country. When we broke up, I told him that we could probably still be friends, but that I would need some space before that could happen, and that I would contact him whenever I was ready for that day. We parted on amicable terms, considering the nature of our breakup.

I could go into detail about the breakup but it’s not really important to the story. Just know that it was very traumatic for me and involved approximately a week of being trapped with someone who I did not want to be around. I think a lot of people can empathise with the concept of grinning and bearing it for the sake of keeping things civil, and in my case, where I was very ill, in a foreign country and was staying with someone who, on one occasion, forced sexual favours out of me.

You may understand then that telling him that we could still be friends was a white lie, and most definitely a foolish move on my part. Throughout our relationship I picked up many clashing personality traits that I did not find palatable and did not want in a friendship. However, throughout my dating history I have always broken up with people more or less on friendly terms, and thus see no issue with extending a possibility of friendship, even if I have little to no intention of following through. Telling him that lie was, as far as I was concerned, standard operating procedure for a mutual breakup, and more than he deserved, in retrospect.

So to recap:

He and I had a pretty epic breakup

I lied to him and told him that friendship could still be on the table

However, I wanted space before that could happen

When I returned home, he contacted me immediately, wanting to know how I was. While this was technically a breach of our agreement, I let this slide as I was obviously very sick when I left, and I could understand that he just wanted to know what was wrong with me. I let him know what I felt comfortable with, and reminded him that I needed to be left alone.

It’s at this point that the dynamic between us started to change. Even though I had made it clear that I wanted to be left alone, he decided that that meant he could still talk to me like he used to. Over the course of a month he contacted me non stop, wanting to know how I was, trying to engage in a conversation with me. This was in spite of the prior agreement we had, on top of never getting a meaningful response from me, other than to remind him that I did not want to talk to him.

This was across many different email accounts, as well as texting my phone, and essentially using any shared media between us to try to get a message to me. Examples of this include changing the name of a shared youtube playlist, or editing a shared google document. I started to block his attempts at contact, including making my twitter account private. I also began to vent about it indirectly.

It was clear to me that at this point that he was harassing me; he knew that I did not want to be contacted by him and yet was trying to contact me however he could. I confronted him via email, telling him that he had ruined any chance of being friends again by repeatedly ignoring my simple request, and to stop harassing or contacting me. After this he seemed to understand, and sent me a last email, telling me to contact him whenever I was ready. This was in February. All’s well that ends well, right?

let’s play a game and count the number of times he says this

btw, that pet name? I told him when we broke up he couldn’t call me that any more. He still uses it every time he contacts me.

Well, as you might be expecting, he didn’t stop contacting me. He felt the need to contact me on skype a few times, and less than three weeks after that “last” email, he sent me another email. It was a “monthly mail checkup”. I was at the end of my rope at this point and was beyond treating him nicely. I essentially told him to fuck off. He seemed under the impression that he had to actively try to win me back, “[b]ecause we both know that you will never come back to me from your own volition and I’m the one who has to shake you up.” (direct quote).

At this point, I just stopped replying. It was obvious he was never going to give up on me and normally the best thing to do in this instance is to lay low and ignore all attempts at contact. At this point I made my twitter private and blocked his account. I’m mentioning twitter because this whole mess contains a hefty dose of twitter drama and is important to some of the later details.

I will make it clear that I was not talking about this harassment from him during this time. To my followers on twitter, everything was normal (sans a distinct lack of updates for the series)

About a month after the last point of contact, I felt that I needed to explain to my followers what was happening with the retrospective; it had been three months since the last update and I had zero intention of working with my ex ever again. I made my twitter account public and explained that the series was on hold, because my ex had been harassing me, and pinned this tweet to my profile. You will notice that there is no direct reference to his harassment in that tweet, only in a reply.

I suppose it shouldn’t have surprised me to receive an email from him after that. The subject?

yeah, not threatening at all

In it, he said that I was lying about/fabricating the harassment accusation, and essentially broke up with me (again? yeah, that confused me too). I tried to explain to him how exactly he was harassing me, but he absolutely refused to see his actions as anything other than a friend reaching out. Repeatedly. Despite knowing that he had been blocked. And knowing that I didn’t want contact with him.

lol memes. “last time I’ll contact you” part two

We exchanged a lot of emails, because he tried to get me to agree to a conversation on skype and I refused. For some reason he thought an IM conversation would be less impulsive than one done via email? Yeah, he wasn’t making much sense to me either. Ultimately, it ended up with him thinking that things were on the mend and trying to give me an ultimatum (reply to me by this time otherwise we’re over). Because I hadn’t already made that clear enough for him?

I happily ignored him and he sent a final parting shot of an email, which I guess was supposed to be scathing but simply came across as aiming in the wrong direction completely. So in case you’ve lost track, he’d broken up/cut ties with me twice by now. I thought things were finally over and blocked him on everything else I could think of and made my twitter private again.

“im cutting ties with you for real this time” part three

Again, on my twitter, I made no direct reference to what had been happening to me.

Not nine days later, he sent me an email from a blocked address. With a quote from a Jackie Chan movie (lmao). I ignored it. A week after that, another email, from two blocked email addresses. A week after that, another email, from six addresses. To top it off, he used a throwaway twitter account to tell me to check my spam.

Oh boy, this one was the doozy. He called me emotionally abusive and all other manner of nasty things, including that I deserved to get sick because it was payback for all the awful things I had done to him. You know, just normal standard stuff you say to a good friend.

To say that email upset me is an understatement. I stayed up all night wondering whether I had truly been abusive to him. After talking about it with friends and strangers (Something Awful link), I came to the conclusion that he was just trying to hurt me to get me to reply to him, and whether it was true or not, what he was doing was much worse. I doubt he’s had the same level of self-reflection on his behaviour.

It was at this point I started looking into legal options, with very little promising results. I started keeping a log of his attempts at contacting me though, in case it ever because useful.

Five days after that abusive email, on the day Bayonetta was released on PC, he sent me another email. He also sent me a question on my (now deactivated) ask.fm account, telling me to check my spam. At no point did he make reference to the abusive shit he hurled at me, he just acted like everything was normal.

In the hours leading up to Bayonetta being released on Steam, I streamed some Angel Slayer because I was hella excited, man! Guess who pops up in the stream chat? Guess who got blocked? Guess who created another account and tried to engage in a conversation with me? Guess who got IP banned? Yeah, shit’s crazy. At this point I start making direct reference to his harassment on twitter.

all in one day. not harassment!

Let’s pause for a moment and take in the view:

From the time I came back from visiting him, he refused to stop contacting me, despite being told multiple times to do so

He sent me an abusive email

He was aware that he was blocked and circumvented it by creating many different accounts

not harassment tho

Two weeks after he sent that nasty tirade, he sent another email, saying that he was ashamed that he had sent it to me, and that he just wanted to be friends again. Not a single apology for what he had sent, but he just expected that things would be okay after that, because HE wanted things to be okay, forget about anything I wanted or said to him.

gonna keep harassing you until you do what I want, not harassment tho

It’s as though he’d heard of the adage that ‘time heals all wounds’ and thinks that two weeks is enough to get over getting an abusive spiel sent to you.

I suspect he started escalating his attempt to talk to me because it was the days leading up to his birthday. He tried asking, pleading, bribing me to talk to him again. I ignored all of it. On top of that he recruited people who he knew who followed me on twitter/had me as an IM friend to tell me to check my emails.

guess who later went and copypasted my conversation with him and gave it to my harasser

Things kept escalating. He remembered my brother’s name and ran a search for him on skype. Because I had stupidly blocked my ex, but not removed him from my friends list, he was able to find the one that was indeed related to me. My ex contacted my brother, on skype, as well as facebook. To this day, I have no idea how he found my brother’s facebook, although it’s not exactly locked down due to the nature of my brother’s work.

pictures make this wall of text less intimidating, right?

My brother told me that my ex had contacted him. Yeah, I freaked out. It was clear to me that my ex had no boundaries and I feared what he would do next. I vented about it on my twitter, which was still locked down to the public at this point.

I won’t lie, I was pretty scared by this point. If he felt that contacting my brother, who he had had no contact with prior to this, was perfectly fine, what was stopping him from trying to come to Australia to find me? What other information did he keep/remember about me? I went through my computer and accounts and increased the security for everything. I also tried to get an outside perspective on the situation as a sanity check.

So I hope you can understand why I was freaking out. A few days after, he left a comment on one of my videos, once again telling me to just look at my brother’s skype messages, it was so easy. Because looking at other people’s private messages is totally acceptable behaviour to this guy.

Not only that, despite me locking down my twitter account he still saw my “meltdown”. Either someone was leaking my tweets or he was following me under another dummy account. Nowhere was safe.

add another to the ‘I won’t contact you again after this message’ counter

Be aware that this mentality of my ex’s is what drives a large part of his behaviour; he considers things that are boundary breaking to a lot of people perfectly normal and acceptable.

An aside, when I was visiting him in January, he snooped through my external hard drive and deleted files of himself that I had saved. Things like photos of him and screenshots. I discovered that he had done this in late March, long after we broke up. Chances are high he snooped through the contents of my laptop as well. I remember the realisation that he had gone through my things and feeling sick to my stomach, because it was such a massive breach of trust. It painted his actions since that meeting in an even worse light, because he knew that he had done this and yet was still seeking a friendship with me.

So yeah, he stalked my brother, something that he doesn’t deny either, although he won’t call it stalking. A few days after that he sent me another email. He had composed a song for me. He also openly acknowledged that he knew it would probably upset me. Whether he meant the contents of the song, or the fact that he had yet again contacted me, I wasn’t sure, but I sure as hell did not listen to that song.

openly acknowledging that it’s going to upset me doesn’t make it any better fyi

This coincides with him uploading a mariachi cover of a Witcher 3 song to his channel. It was hard to tell at this point but you could almost read a coded message in the song title.

very apt, tbqh

I could cover all the detail about him contacting me (there’s a lot of youtube comments), but this is already long enough and I can summarise easily: I was venting to my twitter about the deluded guy harassing me and he was continuing to try to contact me. He even tried to blackmail me, because whew boy, he had decided to tell all of cgg (cuhrayzee games general, used to be a 4chan /vg/ board, now exclusively on discord) about his relationship with me. Bless them, they tried to help him work through it, but they kind of missed the mark when it came to owning up to his behaviour.

I ignored all of this, but it came to a head when he decided to post a PSA about me. Yes, a Public Service Announcement about me, where he told every single excruciating detail about the relationship, as well as tried to justify his harassing behaviour.

I found this out when I was browsing 4chan, a few days after he had posted it. I never read the contents but I knew that he was telling a very skewed version of events. I emailed the website admins to get the PSA removed, because hey, it was just another venue for my ex to harass me, now by blackmailing me by spreading my personal life details to the internet.

Throughout this time, I had not really addressed the issue on my youtube channel. I had been uploading episodes again with a new commentator since April, and while there were some people who missed my old commentator, I did not acknowledge the questions at all. Well, after the PSA got released somebody decided to comment on one of these threads, saying that the reason my ex was no longer on episodes was because we had broken up and I had handled the breakup badly. Which is a pretty laughable interpretation of the events.

I took this opportunity to address the issues head on, and posted the following comments:

I also detailed roughly what had been happening on my twitter account.

Well, a few days after that, my ex found the comments I had made, and replied to it, using yet another youtube account. Unfortunately (or perhaps, fortunately), the OP deleted their comment before I could screenshot the entirety of my ex’s replies, but the gist of it was basically a mix of justification of the stalking of my brother and an attempt at another ultimatum (with yes, yet another promise that this would be the last time he would contact me).

ah yes, my infamous disingenuous harassment flag powers

Anyway, drama aside, I got the PSA removed. My ex found out (through a lovely person who used to follow me on twitter and now does not), and posted the PSA again. I reported it again and it was removed. You would think at this point he would think, ‘huh, I wonder why they’re removing it if there’s nothing wrong with what I wrote,’ but self-reflection does not become this exceptional person.

guess whose exes were all “crazy”? this is in no way a red flag or indicative of a larger issue

After I got the PSA removed a second time, he made his twitter account private, and posted yet another PSA on a different website. It was up for a few days before I found out, because my ex made his twitter public again and I was on the lookout for crazy stuff from him. Once again, I got the offending item removed by the website admins.

third time’s a charm

The fact that he was posting very personal, private information about my life seemed to escape him, and he posted the PSA a fourth time, this time with redacted information. Redacted information like, my online handle, my age, my country of residence. Information that people already know. But not all the unnecessary information about my personal relationship with him.

“no good reason” nuh-uh

I had a pretty epic meltdown on twitter, I will admit it. Lovely people like the ones picture below jumped in on the fray as well.

fresh hot takes from twitter dot com

All in all, I got the PSA removed again, hopefully for the final time. But not before dissecting his warped way of thinking. I thought it was finally over.

Haha no why would you think that. It’s my birthday next week and my ex wanted to wish me a happy birthday, but he decided against sending it close to the date of my birthday, because he knew that it would upset me. Also, he’s still waiting to be friends with me again, but he sure as hell won’t be apologising or anything for his behaviour.

pure logical being, right here, as he likes to call himself

TL;DR: MikeKob is a crazy, deluded, harassing and stalking piece of shit. To put it mildly.

3. The lack of updates (cont)

So, if you read all of that, you might understand why I haven’t had the motivation to continue the series lately. I’m planning to get back into it though, a large part of why I was putting this update off is because the audio recording is almost 2 hours long or something.

#retrospective #bayonetta #update #blog #mikekob #mike kob

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sylvermyth · 8 years

Text

2016 Year in Fics

I’m totally stealing the idea from @caseyvalhalla (minus all the stats because I have way too many little fics....also I might’ve cheated by copy/pasting them from my fic directory.....)

Total words for 2016: 144,768

This year’s top trends:

unfinished WIP that I keep saying I’ll update

not updating said WIP

a bazillion short fics

branching out with kinkfics and rarepairs and other fandoms

Goals for 2017:

get the ball rolling on this year’s fic writing

finish at least ONE of my WIP (probably Matters of Pride)

write more in other fandoms

write more.

Eternal thanks to:

@apiegohome (waifu!) and @nicayal for keeping me motivated all year long, listening to whatever nonsense happens to be coming out my mouth at any given moment...also for the figure skating AU (and especially nicayal for your wealth of figure skating knowledge) AND also for helping host @kh-worldsconnected.

@princess-wasabi for always being enthusiastic about my writing, no matter what it is, and for providing me with so, so much art, ilusm my dear. <3

@savaage-nymph and @keybaes for also spoiling me with art

@caseyvalhalla SEMPAI NOTICED ME!! No, but seriously, chatting has been such a pleasure, and the solidarity of two non-traditional students has been very helpful these past couple months. Also your input has been indispensable

many, many others who support my writing through tags, comments, replies, IMs, etc. <3

PS: putting the fic list under the cut because it got kinda long....

Matters of Pride (WIP) Rating: T Word Count: 16,113 Pairings: Sora/Riku Fantasy, modern AU Art/fic exchange with @savaage-nymph He’d never seen someone look so removed from their surroundings; sure, everybody lived in their own bubble while riding the train, but when Sora looked at him, it was more like he was on a different plane of existence. Of course, that could have just been Sora being dramatic. Chapter 1: The 7:05 Chapter 2: Just a Scratch Chapter 3: Stalked Chapter 4: Coming to Terms Chapter 5: Instincts Chapter 6: Resources Chapter 7: Under a Dream Sky

Pilfering Silver (WIP) Rating: T Word Count: 9,768 Pairings: Sora/Riku Fantasy, genie AU #november Sora grew up as a street rat. A mysterious boy, Ku, joined him on his adventures, until one day he disappears. Sora seeks his friend afterward, and what he finds isn’t quite what he expected. Can he be reunited with the boy he’s come to care for so much? Chapter 8: Competition Chapter 9: In Favor Chapter 10: Under Scrutiny Chapter 11: Incongruent

A Branded Nobody (WIP) Rating: M Word Count: 9,119 Pairings: Platonic only; Sea Salt Trio Fantasy, slavery AU; warnings for angst/drama, self-destructive thoughts, and references of abuse. It was there, just on the edge of the sector, that Axel’s focus turned to the dull blue eyes, flat like unpolished stones, but still such a stunning hue under those lowered lids. Perhaps it wasn’t the best criteria to choose a slave by, but then, Axel had always been peculiar like that. Chapter 2: Cautious Steps Chapter 3: Nobody’s Name Chapter 4: Shades Between

Iced

Summary: All that glitters is not gold. Sometimes it’s just an overdressed ice skater trying to regain an ounce of composure after superman-bellyflopping a jump in front of his coach. But hey, everyone has off days. Since qualifying for Nationals and an unexpected locker room encounter with his fellow Sectionals medalist, Roxas has just been having a few more than usual of late.

Main pairing: AkuRoku Rating: T (for now) Chapter word count: 13,013 Co-Authors: @sylvermyth, @apiegohome, @nicayall AO3 Collection: http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Iced

- Sparks and Sparkles - Namesake - Ugly Duckling - At Second Glance - Charity Case - Shine a little

Partager (YOI) Rating: G Word Count: 1240 If anything, it was a sign of trust that Victor left Makkachin in the care of the Katsuki family. In the care of Yuuri.

Patinage (YOI) Rating: G Word Count: 3643 “Yuuri…” Victor knelt in front of him, and Yuuri hissed in pain when Victor pulled one battered foot into his lap. “How long have you been a skater, hm?” It was chiding, but Victor’s hands were gentle as he inspected tender blisters and welts. “How are you supposed to skate your best when your feet are in such a poor state?”

sentiment (YOI) Rating: G Word Count: 1050 For all that Hasetsu was completely foreign to Victor, it was almost a relief to be there. Never mind the Japanese assaulting his ears, the illegible signs, the culture that should be shocking him. The food was fantastic, the alcohol potent, and the hot springs—well, Victor was taking full advantage of that.

Glace (Yuri on Ice) Rating: T Word Count: 985 Yurio introspective. His wins feel empty, and when Victor runs off to Japan, he has a moment of self-discovery.

Coming Undone Rating: E Word Count: 2519 Pairing: VanVen Ventus fantasizes about Vanitas, even though he knows Vanitas is dangerous. Somehow, that makes it more exciting.

Girls’ Night Out Rating: T Word Count: 5180 #yyhbb Divergence from Three Kings arc: with most of Team Urameshi occupied in demon world, and Kuwabara cramming for exams, the human world is being assaulted by low-level criminals trying to take advantage of the absence of a spirit detective. However, just because there’s no spirit detective, doesn’t mean there’s no one to defend against troublesome demons. “So what do you say, Botan? How about us girls tackle the problem, this time?”

Love Lessons Rating: T Word Count: 6172 Pairing: SoRiku Riku is the socially awkward math teacher. Sora is the new PE teacher. Riku is instantly smitten, even as he embarrasses himself by spilling his coffee on Sora’s shoes. Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Learning Curve Rating: M Word Count: 2329 Pairing: SoRiku Sequel to Love Lessons. Sora and Riku have done little more than kissing, until Riku suggests a night in. PWP, fluff.

statera Rating: T Word Count: 1764 Pairing: VanVen (ish) #worldsconnected 2k16 The room where Ven slept remained undiscovered, and the world met its fate, even as he waited. And waited. And still, neither Aqua nor Terra came to wake him, and really, without his friends, he had no reason to wake. So he slumbered on. No matter how well protected a place, or a person, there was always one thing that would find a way, past wards, and locked doors. Time.

I move the stars for no one Rating: G Word Count: 5592 Pairing: SoRiku (ish) #worldsconnected 2k16 …if they wanted it bad enough, humans could see the Goblin Realm, and the goblins who lived there. Sora had always been that kind of person. He was a daydreamer, and saw a little bit of magic in everything. He’d always thought that there was a little bit more to the world than the world let on, and he wasn’t wrong, even if he didn’t know it. A Labyrinth adaptation.

The draw of dreams Rating: T Word Count: 4798 Pairing: NamShi #worldsconnected 2k16 Miss Larxene and Mister Marluxia had taken her in readily enough, and they’d been gracious to her. Kind. At first. It had happened so gradually that she didn’t notice until it was too late. A sharp word over a small matter, until one word became a torrent of them, and then one day, the words were punctuated by blows. Not that anyone would’ve known, with the layers of petticoats that fashion decreed she wear, and long sleeves covering the bruises on her arms, and even if they had, who would care? She had no one.

The Light-keeper Rating: M Word Count: 2210 Pairing: AkuRoku #AkuRoku Month 2k16 The waves had broken above the rocks, leaving a trail of splintered wood, and there, clinging just above the waterline, was a man. Roxas hesitated, searching for a safe path before climbing down to his aid. “Hey. Are you alive?” Roxas groped for the the man’s arm, eyes straining against the darkness and rain that was still falling.

On the other end Rating: M Word Count: 1897 Pairing: AkuRoku Roxas froze, eyes narrowing as he processed the overheard conversation. Of course he’d only heard one side of it, and out of context at that. But even out of context, the last part of the conversation implied that Axel was lying to him about something.

Locksmith Rating: T Word Count: 1580 Pairing: Zemyx The apartment’s sole occupant, sitting in an armchair and sipping tea, was not Axel, and Demyx, in his surprise, said as much: “You’re not Axel.” “No,” the man agreed.

Appropriation Rating: M Word Count: 1887 Pairing: AkuNo Heist/con man AU where Reno runs a ‘legitimate business’ and recruits Axel.

The cake is a lie Rating: T Word Count: 2474 Pairing: AkuRoku #fandomworkday2016 There’s nothing sweet about working at Minnie’s Bakery. It’s a combination of retail and food service, with the usual run of cranky customers, and a manager who’s over-critical and overly creepy in turns. It’s really not Roxas’s day, but that’s nothing unusual. What is unusual is what’s waiting for him at the end of the day, a spark of light at the end of the tunnel. Written for Take Your Fandom To Work Day 2016.

Voyeur Rating: M Word Count: 1458 Pairings: AkuRoku Roxas likes to watch his new neighbor.

Rikuzel Rating: T Word Count: 2816 Pairings: SoRiku Rapunzel, but with Riku.

Angora Roving Rating: T Word Count: 2291 Pairings: SoRiku Easter 2k16 In which Sora decides to adopt a pet rabbit, whose name is Riku.

Self-Indulgence Rating: E Word Count: 3521 Pairings: SoRiku microphilia kinkfic Even if the cookies didn’t say “Eat me,” they were still begging to be eaten, they were still from Wonderland, and Sora still shrunk down to size. Instead of finding a way back to scale, Sora sets out to cause some mischief…and gets more than he bargained for. Part two, Incubi: Sora and Roxas are incubi, and Axel is their prey. PWP. Self-Indulgence Incubi

Organic Chemistry: Rating: T Word Count: 4808 Pairings: Zemyx, AkuRoku College AU; Christmas/Winter fic #khsecretsanta 2015 Lazy. Articulate. Enthusiastic. Hot. Zexion mentally ticked off the adjectives he’d accumulated for his chemistry professor, and tried to remember when he’d started using that last one. It was pointless and stupid to be infatuated with an instructor. Nothing would come of it except disappointment, although he had to admit, the way he fixated on the cadence of the guy’s voice during lectures made Orgo all the more interesting.

DRABBLES:

(non-KH fics) It Suits - 414 words, Kurahi (YYH), #halloween 2k16 stitch by stitch - 639 words, gen (Natsume Yuujinchou) provoked - 568 words, KuraHi (YYH) à la mode - 439 words, Keiko and Botan (YYH) small comforts - 872 words, KuraHi (YYH) Hot and Cold - 1376 words, KuraHi (YuYu Hakusho)

(KH fics) Costume Not Found - 210 words, LeaKu, #halloween 2k16 Invite - 710 words, SoRiku, #halloween 2k16 Nightmare - 690 words, #halloween 2k16 haunted house - 560 words, SoRiku, #halloween 2k16 Permanent Ink - 958 words, AkuRoku under cover - 511 words, LeaKu first impressions - 1018 words, AkuRoku, #akuroku month 2k16 Strays - 1328 words, AkuRoku, #akuroku month 2k16 Trussed - 806 words, AkuRoku, #akuroku month 2k16 Butterscotch - 835 words, AkuRoku, #akuroku month 2k16 heat sink - 450 words, AkuRoku, #akuroku month 2k16 Blocked - 712 words, AkuRoku Long Distance Call - 844 words, SoRoku Sea Salt GO - 647 words, Sea Salt Trio Intimate - 754 words, Zemyx hold on tight - 794 words, LeaKu On the grass, under the stars - 844 words, AkuRoku Inseparable - 1084 words, SoRiku Brave Lies - 465 words, SoRiku Words without Voice - 533 words, LeaKu When the Rain Comes - 836 words, LeaKu Vermilion - 988 words, AkuNo Quattro Formaggi and Kraft Mac n Cheese - 1216 words, AkuRoku Cottontail - 467 words, RiKai Tempus fugit - 1314 words, AkuRoku En Pointe - 964 words, AkuRoku Soothing Scars - 1498 words, SoRiku Sneaking about - 738 words, LeaKu Flamme Noire - 1125 words, AkuRoku (1st person) Write something beautiful - 593 words, Leon/Riku To Seal The Deal - 625 words, Larx/Dem Allegory of a Nobody - 799 words, LeaKu, about depression For You - 1312 words, SoRiku Preserving Echoes - 436 words, NamShi Duplicity - 662 words, SoRiRoku Change of Heart - 613 words, AkuSai Always - 519 words, SoRiku, tragedy Different People - 672 words, Lea/Riku Tempest - 960 words, Cleon Siren/pirate fic Stetson - 604 words, AkuRoku Bound - 539 words, SoRiku, non-explicit/non-sexual kink

#writing #my writing #2016 in review

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fluffi · 3 years

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so should i reply in tiny font or just regular font?

hybe should do better in spreading out the comebacks of the groups under them :/ they're already at a huge advantage, might as well use it strategically. AHA streaming mvs is so convenient for a multi. the filler vids i could use in between could be mvs from the other groups that i stan. also you know what, i still haven't watched a single final performance bc im waiting for a friend to watch with me :D

i have a chinese movie recommendation in case you want something to cry over. i still love its ost and it's been months since i watched it. i'm not sure if you watched it already but more than blue. i've never cried over a movie as much as i cried for that one. the angst *chef's kiss*. i'd do anything to wipe my memory of it and watch it again for the first time.

also sungchan is mc-ing in inkigayo every sunday! and honestly, what the hell is nct hollywood :D but a part of me thinks it's just going to be a bunch of asians living in america like johnny that'll be a part of it. just a hunch tho. imagine having all 4 units coming back in a year with like 1 unit per quarter of the year. i'm not sure if sm even has the money to do this, especially when they filed bankruptcy recently.

and i've seen a lot of twitter memes saying taro's ghosted stans T_T alexa play ghosting by txt T_T sm come on give him smth to do, you're wasting talent.

the mall didn't burn down entirely (like from the outside it looked fine). the ventilation system caught fire so it was more internal—ceilings and all that. covered things with soot(?) and ashes so the entire mall was closed for nearly 2 years. and hey, i've experienced a school fire too back when i was younger. i, too, thought it was nothing but a fire drill until i saw the charred remains of the buildings behind our school : D thankfully, no one died.

the new nct track is for a samsung commercial AHAHA it's funny because nearly everyone uses apple TT_TT and the mv screams neo culture tech tho (well as it should lmao). yes, i was talking about that part in hot sauce but yes, it grew on me too.

ateez really know how to do a performance. they put the standard so high for me when it came to performing. their facial expressions and overall stage presence just impresses me. it's been a while since i've seen idols draw me to them by those standards.

ah, the long stan list! good luck in getting through it and i hope you do have fun as you go :] (also you can check out aurora by ateez and whiplash by tbz. the songs popped up in my head as i was typing this reply, you might like them)

ohhhh, what was the pd48 scandal? i don't watch survival shows so i don't know any of the stuff going on. would you care to elaborate? about their disbandment :(( i hope you're okay now tho! are the other girls still debuting in new groups? anyone eyeing an acting career instead of being an idol?

YES, A PATTERN IN THE BIASES (if you count an analysis of two ppl as a pattern, that is.) because it's the same pattern i have for my biaswreckers :D jake & seungmin, not only do they have the same animal to represent them, they have the same 'golden retriever' type of personality that just makes you go all soft. ygwim ;n; i wish i could elaborate but both boys just devastate me in the same level and my friends pointed out that they were quite similar in some aspects.

jaemin used to send really long bbl messages :< like if there was anything he loved most it was nctzens and it was obv in his messages. speaking of dream, album repackage news today! idk what to feel bc my hot sauce albums haven't even arrived yet :D + i'm dead br0ke.

how do you even manage to read 30k TT__TT i cant handle long fics bc of my attention span :D also, yes, i found the user now, i'll check if i'll like their works soon. <33

YES YOU SHOULDVE BEEN THERE T_T what a day that was. i think seungmin is still sweet and active in bbl. not a single cent goes to waste with him. also i think i'll post the drabble some time this month.

and oml seungmin vs jake :o let's see how that goes O.O XDD

clickity-clackity AHAH do you have a mechanical keyboard? :c i wanted one too but i haven't got around to saving up for one. but yes indeed, typing asmr v relaxing \m/

sunny hyuck day, fullsun sunday, fullsunday T_T feels were very strong that day. i kept seeing edits on my twt tl and i would just s o b : D i've only stanned nct for a year but i've seen him grow so much i just wanted to crie i love him sm :') yk my mom didn't cook spaghetti for my birthday, but she cooked for hyuck's? : D

and i checked ur recs blog and indeed, full of nct T_T

also have i mentioned that your desktop thing amuses me so much HAHAH i got confused for a sec if i had twt opened or tumblr. plus, i've been wanting to mention that i noticed that our mobile themes are opposites. black and red, white and blue. it's cute XDD <3

help, people have been telling me that our asks are long but i highkey love it. i added a ‘keep reading’ for the mobile users though, sorry in advance hh.

honestly, both works. tiny font saves space but regular font does more justice for my poor eyes haha. its your call!

hybe comebacks :( yeah enhypen got lucky because they came back right before cb season so they got three wins (yay)! on the bright side, txt just got their first win and bts has six wins, so it all works out i guess. omg yes, the streaming thing is perfect. i stan like 20 groups so i have a never-ending cycle of filler mvs and its always so helpful. ooh for the final performances - you wont regret watching any of them! literally wild, kingdom's budget and talent are wild.

ooh, I don't watch any cdramas lmao. i want to but i can barely finish kdramas. if its a movie ill watch it! ive never heard of more than blue but ill check it out <3 where can i watch it?

yes yes i have just realized that sungchan is yujin's co-mc! i watched their special stage (which is literally adorable) and was today years old when i realized that the dude is sungchan pls. nct hollywood was so unexpected and i still have mixed feelings about it now. LMAO JUST ASIANS LIVING IN AMERICA...help. that would be interesting (?) but the concept reminds me of those horrendous awesomeness tv shows. lets hope sm pulls this off well and proves me wrong. lmao all 4 units coming back would probably happen, but i hope none of them get overworked :( i constantly feel like mork lee has four clones :'( also...sm filed bankcruptcy??? dang, what happened?

ugh omg yeah shotaros talent is seriously being wasted in the basement right now. as for fires, scary T-T i wasnt that fazed by them until the australia wildfires happened, and i learned about the consequences of fire and got really scared. its good that the entire mall didnt burn down though! although its weird that no one is opening it :( schools really need to tell us the difference between drills though, it might be dangerous for those rebellious kids.

yeah i just realized that the nct track is an endorsement which partly explains why i cant listen to it. the mv's visuals are stunning!! the set and people are so gorgeous aa i cant

oh yeah im not an atiny but i have acknowledged since 2020 that they have one of the best, if not the best stage presence and expressions on stage for 4th gen. i think their only worthy competitor would be stray kids actually. theyre truly one of a kind and all of them are cute especially that yeosang guy. i will definitely check out your song recommendations though!

oof the pd48 scandal is extremely complicated. to condense it in a few statements: all of the girls' rankings have been rigged since the very beginning and it was rumored that they already had their end group before the show even started. it was like this for pf48 and pdx101 (group x1) which was why x1 disbanded within a month of debuting, and izone were on hiatus for like 4 months. im not the best at explaining stuff like this haha, but i think you get it. you can check out yt or search up 'pd48 scandal', a ton of articles and videos. as for new groups, nothing has been made clear yet. theyve only made instagram handles for now and appeared on variety shows haha. as for acting career, hyewon was supposed to do acting but was forced to join pd48 so maybe she'll continue acting afterwards? nothing is confirmed yet!

lmao two similarities, its okay it counts. ah, true, i can see their similarities now that youve mentioned it, as well as how jeno is kind of like that. however, i am currently attached to jaemin so we'll see what happens from there hehe. i swerve easily.

jaemin on bubble grr, that would be a whole experience. from the bare minimum of vidoes ive seen for him wbk jaemin is so whipped for czennies. ah yes repackage! i saw the post on instagram and went to the comments to see everything screaming ‘iM bROke!’ and it was lowkey hilarious lmao. kpop is really trying to suck our money T-T.

ope the longest fic ive read is like...40k words i think? and it was by jeonginks. ill read anything eiko produces lmao, theres always so much substance in her work. ooh, tell me what you think of luvdsc’s stuff, i just finished binging their entire masterlist lmao.

seungmin vs jake yeah, i havent been catching up on skz enha content because im still obsessing over the dreamies but when that saga is over then im going to focus on my ults lmao (which might include dream soon, hehe).

yes yes i have a mechanical bluetooth keyboard that i use to connect to my computer! it literally sounds amazing lmao, its only 10am here but i feel like im going to doze off from the clickity clackitys already. i cant wait for you to get one! tell me when you do, we can match hehe.

hyuck is an aodrable brat please. hes like the best comedian of nct at this point, so hilarious and filled with variety i love him. he rose up my bias list pretty fast too. LMAO YOUR MOM IS SO COOL I LOVE HER ALREADY. if only my mom would cook for my ults’ borndays.

yes my rec blog is a mess right now, ill organize it soon haha.

omg thank you and yes my website theme is one-of-a-kind. even i get confused when i open it or edit it, and i constantly get comments about it. also i just realized our opposing theme colors and i love it! its adorable.

#long post #also im listening to love song right now haha i love it so much #also sorry for not answering yesterday hhh i got busy last night #「 asks 」#moots — [♡] ;#toffee — [♡] ;#neo-shitty

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