#also minutes earlier he tagged me in our group chat w everyone that was at the bday party when we met

[jonny-b-meowborn]

You fantasize about kissing or dating or having sex with them, I fantasize about them giving me head pats while I'm purring. We are not the same

[peonyneko]

Didn’t Mean It | Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

Request:  hello! I was wondering if you could do a Bakugou x Reader (if requests are open ofc❤️). Maybe Bakugou said something he didn’t mean to the Reader, and she like leaves the middle of class to go to the bathroom to cry- and like some of the girls go to comfort her/ask if she’s doing fine. But that doesn’t help- so Bakugou ditches class and goes to comfort her in the girls bathroom, and the other girls are like “cUtE”. Sorry if this made no sense but I thought it would be cute 😳. love your writing!

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@blveteaaa I’m really sorry for taking so long. Please do let me know if this is what you had in mind. I also appreciate any feedback. 

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Noise. The class was filled with noise, per usual. Mr. Aizawa was sleeping in the corner. Hm... Seems like he didn’t sleep well again. I wonder what night trouble popped up this time. Mina, Momo, and Uraraka were chatting away near me. The next class should start in about 30 minutes. Until then, Mr. Aizawa told us to complete the assignment and place it on his desk. Getting up from my seat, I head towards Katsuki, Eijiro, and Denki. To avoid disturbing them, I decided to wait behind them until they finished talking. 

“Yeah, I don’t get why that’s irritating,” Eijiro was facing Katsuki. His back was, currently, facing me, The other two immediately acknowledge my presence. Their eye widen and their shoulders tense up.

“Of course you don’t. She’s not with you,” he began. Was it about me?

“It’s especially when she wants to tag along on days I go out. It would’ve been better if she just stayed home. Damn it. It’s so irritating.”

Oh.. Huh. I felt my heart tighten at his words. The room got a little quieter. The light even seemed dimmer. After noticing the change in my demeanor, Denki coughs. Before the duo can say anything, I lift my finger to my lips. 

“Don’t look at me like that! You both act like you’re the ones dealing with it,” Katsuki’s ignorance of my presence did not help. With a heavy heart, I turn back around and walk back to my desk.

We were all occupied with our assignment. For this class, we were completing an in-class group assignment. Currently, I am sitting in front of Katsuki, with Mina and Tsuyu sitting on the side. I can already feel his irritation. He probably did not enjoy being forced into a group, especially with me. Normally, I’d feel chipper about it. However, after knowing how he feels, I felt that me presence was annoying. I decided to talk less to avoid agitating him. While the group talks, I write down their ideas for the work and jot down my own, as well. 

“You know this is a group effort, right?” I look up to see Katsuki’s eyes locked on me. I nodded. 

“Really? I haven’t heard any input from you for it, Becoming lazy, are we?” he words stung. MY face warmed from embarrassment. 

“Well, I... I was, uh, writing my ideas down with the groups in here,” I hesitantly lift my notebook. The room’s mood began to tense up. Slowly, the quiet room become quieter. 

“____... This is a group effort. Do you not know what that means? Share you damn ideas. God, he rolls his eyes, not noticing his voice made the class focus on our group. I could feel their eyes centering me. I attempted to tell my ideas but they went all over the place in my mind.

“Yeah, nevermind. You’re not helping with shit,” he interrupted. The warmth of my face was traveling down to my neck. My throat constricts a bit. I can feel inklings of anxiousness rising.

“That’s not nice to say,” Mina told him. He simply rolled his eye at her comment. Mina signals for Denki to come to our table. They both whisper between themselves. They eye Katsuki a bit so I assumed it was about him and I. Tsuyu looks at my nervous state and reassures that she’s there if I need to talk.

“Kaminari, since you’re here, why don’t you and _____ switch? Some braincells is better than none,” he chuckles. My mood worsens at his joke. Little tears were forming but they were unnoticeable. There class was still focused on us. Clearing up my throat, I get up from my seat. I slowly walk up to the front.

“Is it alright for me to go to the restroom?” my voice cracks when asking Cementoss. He nods in return, noticing the waviness in my voice.

As soon as I got permission, I run out the classroom. I hear a faint “ ___! You can’t run in the hallway,” which sounded like Iida. I don’t stop until the ladies restroom in in front of me. With heavy breaths I open the door and rush to one of the stalls. My eyes burned and tears began slipping down my cheeks. I tried to hold myself together but his words were playing on a loop.

Does he really think I’m irritating? What do I do that annoys him? Gosh, I need to stop it.

After a couple of minutes, I hear footsteps echo throughout the bathroom. Someone knocks on my stall’s door. Calming myself down, I open the stall to face all the girls in front of me. 

‘I swear boys can be really meaning without even trying,” Kyoka looked at me with soft eyes. Right when Ochaco step forward to hold my hand, the sting in my eyes return. I try to blind the tears away but it could not limit the amount that wanted to escape. My rigged breathing returns, which only worsens my embarrassment.

“I really...I really don’t mean to be... a bother for him,” I choked out in-between my heavy breaths. To give me space, they all gently pull me outside of the stall. Their eyebrows were slightly furrowed yet their eyes were soft.

“No. No. You are not at fault here,” Momo replies as she helps me sit down on the bench to the side.

“But I heard him say it. Gosh, I do sound irritating. I should stop tagging along too much. No wonder he returns angry.”

“You do not follow him anywhere. It isn’t all the time, either. You mostly go with him when you know you did not get to spend time together,” Tsuyu attempts to help me look at it from another perspective. Sadly, my mind overrides them to Katsuki’s complaints.

“W...What if he’s tired of me? What if he wants to break up?”

My heart hurt at the mere thought of our separation. Our relationship is relatively fresh. We started dating a year ago, yet I fell for him. Hard. I could not fathom to be with another guy.

“If I hadn’t been so dense about his irritations over my actions, I would been a much better girlfriend. I couldn’t even do that,” I was vomitting my mind out.

My breathing was still irregular, and I couldn’t see past the tears that blur my eyes. I wiped my cheeks and eyes to get a better view. The girls were trying their best to comfort me. Toru patted my back. Mina stroked my arm. Momo tried to plan out a mini recovery session from today. Tsuyu and Ochaco tried to convince me that he loves me enough to confront me about the situation. Kyoka even tried to make me revert my self-deprecating comments and thoughts. However, nothing helped. I really appreciated their kind attempts yet his words stayed printed at the front of my mind.

“I would love to battle Bakugou, right now. He needs to be held accountable for his horrible comments,” Momo exclaimed, standing tall with her right hand on her hip. 

“He does. He made a huge deal out of the group assignment. You were clearly stressed when you tried to share your ideas,” Kyoka looked disappointed when remember the incident in the classroom.

“But he doesn’t like having me around too much. I should stop. I don’t want him to be constantly annoyed,” I sniffled as I wiped my eyes. 

“I’m going to stop,” I whisper. I hear small mutters and grumbles throughout he bathroom.

“I won’t dicated you becuase it is your relationship. I do want to say that it is a part of who you are. You like spending time with him. You don’t need to stop that. I think you and him should talk about it,” Ochaco looks at me with his big, comforting eyes. The others nod in agreement. 

“I don’t know. I don’t want any more complications rising because of me. If he’s annoyed by me, I should try to fix it. I’ll need to sort this out myself,” I quietly announced.

Who gave you that right?” his rough voice echoes through the walls. All of you heads turn to the left. Katsuki, Eijiro, and Denki were standing next to each other near the entrance of the bathroom. 

“I didn’t think you overheard my conversation with those,” his points his rough finger at the duo behind him. 

I looked at him, unsure of what to say. Noticing my tense behavior, he talked as gently as he can, “ I did not mean to make you think horribly about yourself.”

“Yeah, you have traits and habits that are weird to me,” he started. A jolt spiked throughout my body. I don’t think I’m ready to hear the end of it.

 “But I like that about you,” he struggled to get the words out in public. My face flushes at the sudden confession. He looks directly at me.

“Never take issues, like this, on your own. I know how hard it can be but it’ll help us,” noticing that our conversation was getting private, the others began to hed back to class. It was almost the end of the school day, as well. Everyone waving and blurted a quick “bye” before heading out of the bathroom. 

Katsuki turns around to shut the door. He locks it to make sure no one walks in on our conversation.

“Come. Let’s sit there,” he tilts his head to the bench I sat at earlier. 

As soon as we sit, Katsuki exhales a loud sigh. Alarms went off in my mind. He’s irritated. I immediately began panicking.

“H..Hey, Katsuki. I really don’t mind leaving you on your own when you need it,” I started. I turn to face him but was suddenly embraced my his arms. He sets his chin on my neck and gently tightens his hug.

“Don’t... Don’t stop doing what you do,” he whispers near my ear. Warmth engulfed me. I felt safe in his embrace. His voice held no anger or irritation.

“But it’s irritating, isn’t it?” my hands wrap around his back, as well.

“No no no. It’s not. At least not the way you think. I complained to Kirishima and Kaminari about the perverts and jerks who stare at your and bother you when you come with me. That’s why I felt irritated,” he reveals. Then, it clicked. He must’ve noticed all the times I felt uncomfortable because of comments from boys and their stares. I never complained but... He noticed.

“I would rather have you stay back instead of dealing with those situations. I know you’re strong enough to take care of yourself. It’s still annoying when they don’t know their limits. I can’t even fight them properly,” he pulls back to look at me. I avoided his eyes but he lifted my chin up with his hand.

“Don’t stop doing what you do. Don’t stop being yourself. Having you with me makes my day better. I know I can be gnarly and cruel with my comments. Just don’t hesitate to tell me I’m hurting you. It’s not my intention to make you doubt yourself,” he rambles on.

“Even the cruel jokes I made back there are not meant from a serious place,” he reassures me as much as he can. His breathes were rigid and fast. His eyes were dilated, as well.

“Just... let me know, alright? I want you to feel safe and loved not hurt,” he whispered. With every sentence, my previous worries were fading away.

“Talk to me about anything that bothers you. Talk to me about any issues that come up.”

I couldn’t stop my heart from melting. He really is the best, huh?

“I know...I’ll try. You know me. It can be hard to confront people with anything I think is wrong,” I replied while taking his hand into mine. 

“Mhm. Let’s work on that then,” he firmly stated. It shocked me for a bit.

“If I say anything that hurts you, hold me accountable. Tell me right away,” he looks at me for an answer.

“Okay, ____?” I nodded in return. I noticed his stance was relaxed. He seemed less tense about the situation. It must’ve been a huge baggage to get off his back.

“I will. I’m sorry for worrying-” he cut me off before I could end my apology.

“Hey! Don’t feel sorry for it. You’re not at fault for feeling the way you did after the classroom incident. I was an absolute asshole for that. There may have been a small misunderstanding but I still shouldn’t have embarrassed you with my comments,” his hands cup my cheeks.

“I’m really... I’m really sorry,” my throat tightened. Why does he have to be this... great?

“I understand. Thank you for apologizing,” I smile at him. My emotions were all over the place today. It went from neutral to extremely low to extremely relieved. Still, I am glad he and I were able to sort this out before it got worse.

“Don’t go crying on me now. I don’t want to see anymore tears today. Come on let’s head back,” he spoke softly. 

Right after, stood up and held out his hand. His face held his usual daily expression, except there was a glow to it. I gladly laced my hands with his and we carefully exited the girls bathroom.

“Wouldn’t want to get you in trouble,” he said looking around to make sure no one saw our actions.

Today, Katsuki and I were able to have dinner together. It’s been a while since it was just the two of us eating dinner. Upon returning to the dorm, the atmosphere felt normal. The ones who were worried earlier looked glad when Katsuki and I entered the dorm happily. Mr. Aizawa did ask us about the situation. We informed him that everything was sorted so he let it go. Cementoss must’ve told him about the the classroom occurrence. 

While I made my way to my room, I noticed all of the girls in front of my room. Their eyes held excitement and the look of ‘hurry up’.

“You don’t need to tell us everything,” Mina grabbed me so I can quickly open my room. 

“Okay okay let me just,” after I heard the click, they all ran inside of my room. 

They all chose the spot they felt most comfortable in. I climbs into my bed and chuckled with embarrassment.

“Do I have to tell you what he said? Because...” 

“Well...” Momo began.

“I may or may not have bee made to create a device the let us hear what was going on,” my eyes widen at her confession.

“Don’t worry we promised to turn it off if anything... else... happened. We wanted to make sure he didn’t say anything horrible,” Kyoka spoke. The others nodded in agreement.

“His comforting action were too cute,” Mina chuckled.

“Exactly! I was shocked. Did you hear what he said?! ‘ Having you with me makes my day better.’ Aaahh! That- Just wow,” Uraraka gushed while quoting Katsuki. All of the girls flailed around or squished the pillow in their lap.

“Wait! Remember the...What was it? Right! ‘I want you to feel safe and loved not hurt’ That was so adorable, too, ” Momo immediately brought up another. Once again, the girls let out ‘awe’s and small chuckles. They did tease me about his words. However, they still appreciated that he was able to relive me of my doubts.

“I’m glad Bakugou cleared things up. That was very mature of him. You two are cute together. I really did not want the incident to separate you,” Tsuyu looked happy at my recovered state. 

“Me too,” Hagakure agreed. Next to her, I noticed Mina had a tiny bit of mischeif in her eyes. 

“How about we listen to the audio again?!” she suggested. A series of ‘yes’ echoed throughout the room.

“W-what?” my eyes widened.

“Come on! It’ll be fun!” Mina continued.

“I have the a player for it, if we want to,” Kyoka held up the device to play the audio.

“And you can have it after we analyze and listen to it,” Momo added while exaggerating ‘analyze’ with air quotes. 

“Gosh... alright. I hope I don’t sound weird,” I agreed to their request.

As soon as Katsuki said, “Don’t... Don’t stop doing what you do,” Uraraka paused it.

“You can’t tell me he does not want to marry her,” she commented. Immediately afterward, the others made their own comments and agreements.

This process continued throughout the playing of the audio. With every pause, the were analyses and comments. Amongst all the chat about Katsuki’s soft side, I had the urge to check my phone. What I read immediately made the night better than it already was.

Katsuki: Let’s go out tomorrow. Wear whatever you feel comfortable in. 

Katsuki: Don’t worry about people staring. I’ll take care of it.

Katsuki: Unless you want to, of course.

Katsuki: The girls are making you tell them about what happened in the bathroom, aren’t they?

Katsuki: Anyways, make sure you get proper rest 

Katsuki: Goodnight

My hands quickly responded so I am able to reply before he sleeps. All those messages made me my stomach bubble with excitement. 

Me: I’m glad we’re going to hang out. See you in the morning

Me: Goodnight

Me: I love you

...

Katsuki: I love you too

The heat on my cheeks that gradually grew with every text grew tenfold. My heart fluttered intensely as I gazed at those four words. I can hear the girls speaking about the audiotape of Katsuki in the background, but my phone had my attention. Katsuki always proved to be a great boyfriend. He never did it for show. Ever since the start of our relationship he’s been honest about how he felt. Both of us expected stumbles, but we made sure to work it out. Today was one of those day.

I’m just glad he never let go of me. I know him well enough to know that he will always listen to me. He will always want to fix things so we don’t end.

[daggerzine]

Ray Farrell on music and his time at SST, Blast First, Geffen and many more.

Ray Farrell has had a lifetime surrounded by music. First as a fan as a young kid and then eventually working for a series of record labels. He’s obviously a fan first and foremost as you can tell by reading below. It also seemed like he was there at the beginning of some major music scenes happening.

I had met Ray very briefly at one of the A.C. Elks hardcore shows that Ralph Jones put on in Atlantic City in the Summer of 1985 though Ray doesn’t remember it (honestly, a bunch of us were standing in a circle and chatting so I’m not even sure if any proper introductions were done).

Anyway, knowing some of the record labels that Ray had worked for I wanted to hear the whole story. I contacted him and shot him some questions and he was more than happy to elaborate and let us know where he’s been and where he’s going.  Take it away, Ray!

 Where did you grow up?

RF-Jersey City and Parsippany, New Jersey in the 60/70’s. I have two younger brothers.

What did you listen to first…classic rock or stuff earlier than that?

RF-Rock wasn’t classic yet. My earliest memories of music are my parents’ modest collection of 45’s and grandparents’ 78’s. My mom had a handful of singles on Chess and Satellite (pre-Stax)  that she said fell off a truck. We rented our house from a family connected to the mob. The records probably came from them. My mom and her sisters often sang Tin Pan Alley era songs at family gatherings. Harmony was encouraged!

Some records I heard as a toddler stayed with me forever. Lonnie Donegan’s “Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor?” is a skiffle classic. Chuck Berry’s “Guitar Boogie” and “Last Night” by the Mar- Keys are still favorites.  I remember being spooked by the overblown production of the “Johnny Cash Sings Hank Williams” e.p. on Sun Records. In the mid 60’s, my mom had top 40 radio on in the house unless my dad was home. When I was in kindergarten, a high school neighbor in our building babysat me for a couple hours after school a few days a week.  Her girlfriends came over regularly. They listened to a lot of doo-wop, which I still love today. The babysitter and her friends taught me how to slow dance, even though I wasn’t nearly a full grown boy. J

My best friend in 7th grade was a Beatles fanatic and we immersed ourselves in decoding clues to the “Paul McCartney Is Dead” gimmick. That was a brilliant scam and a fun short term hobby.  It was a deep dive into The Beatles music as a junior music detective.  By the time I started buying records, The Beatles were on their way out.

I happily lived for many months on only three albums-

CCR’s “Bayou Country”, Iron Butterfly’s “In A Gadda Da Vida” and the Beatles “Sgt. Pepper.” I joined the Columbia Record Club. I got the first twelve albums for one buck. That was a popular scam.  Those first twelve records shaped my taste because they were the only records I had. I didn’t know what to order but I chose very well in retrospect. After that, I bought a lot of records. I didn’t smoke, but many of my friends did. A carton of cigs cost the same as an lp- 5 bucks.

I learned in 7th grade that if I knew the songs that girls liked, we would have something to talk about. Girls loved Tommy James and The Shondells and The Rascals. I still do! I had a wider range in music taste than most of my high school friends. Everyone in my extended circle loved the Stones, Neil Young and the Allman Brothers. In a tighter circle we were into David Bowie, Lou Reed, Sparks, Todd Rundgren etc. I loved Mountain, Led Zep, Hendrix, Budgie, The Kinks, Alice Cooper, Sabbath. At first, The Stooges seemed too deep and serious for me. A little scary because I thought if teenagers felt like this all over the world, I’m doomed.  I bought the album with “Loose” and played that song for weeks before listening to the rest of it. The girl next door had Iggy’ s “Raw Power” album the week it was released. When glam rock was happening in England, there was a weekly NYC radio show that played the Melody Maker Top 30 singles. I was fascinated by T.Rex, Slade, Hawkwind.  I don’t recall if prog rock was a tag yet, I knew that I didn’t like songs that rambled on for more than 7 minutes. There were exceptions of course- some King Crimson, Yes, Mahavishnu. I was impressionable. Radio station WBAI hosted “Free Music Store” concerts with local acts. One show was a keyboard  group  called Mother Mallard that had banks of synthesizers on stage. They were similar to the music of Phillip Glass and Steve Reich, who you would only hear on that same radio station. I talked myself into buying their records, but it took years to comprehend them. I was too young to be listening to such serious stuff. I played soccer and ran track for a couple years. During meets at other schools, I made friends. At parties I heard Issac Hayes, Bohannon and James Brown records. Brown was all over top 40 radio. Rhythm guitar was my jam! Soul and funk records were best for that. I spent many nights listening to AM radio. The signal travels farther at night, so I’d listen to stations far away. It didn’t matter what kind of music it was. Some of my relatives had short wave radios. I was more interested in radio production than short wave content. The production quality has not changed much since then.  It often sounds like broadcasts trapped in the ether for the last 30 years.

 While I was in high school, it was common for local colleges to host rock and jazz concerts for low prices, sometimes free. The schools had to spend the money sitting in the student union coffers.   There was a live music club in my town called Joint In The Woods. The venue began as a banquet hall that doubled as a meeting hall for Boy Scout Jamborees and the like.  When it became the Joint, it was a disco. The first night of live music was a show with Iggy & The Stooges. The regular disco patrons were pissed!  The guys were mostly goombah’s in Quiana print shirts and bell bottoms. Three or four guys smacked Iggy around after his set.  Sure enough, he played Max’s Kansas City the next night as if nothing happened. Because of this club, touring bands were suddenly playing in my town. Badfinger, Roy Wood’s Wizzard, Muddy Waters. The NY Dolls were scheduled but didn’t show up. Springsteen was often an opening act. The N.J. legal drinking age had just lowered to 18. It was a great time. I was still in school, so I wasn’t staying out on weeknights.

I was determined to learn NYC music history by hitting all the Greenwich Village clubs and talking to the owners and bartenders. It didn’t matter what kind of music they specialized in- I was into the vibe. There were occasional scary nights parking near CB’s or jazz spots in that neighborhood. Folk music was on FM radio at the time. A high school friend booked a local coffee house called Tea & Cheese. Mostly locals and ambitious tri-state artists. Martin Mull, Aztec Two Step, Garland Jeffries. Some of Lou Reed’s touring band, The Tots, played there.  I went to all kinds of record stores, mainly those that sold rock imports and cutouts. I was fascinated by the street level buzz of a record. In ’74, I heard dub reggae for the first time. The only stores to get that music were in Queens because there was a strong West Indian community there. It may have been the “Harder They Come” soundtrack that got me started. There was a “pay to play” radio station in Newark - WHBI. DJ’s had to buy their airtime. Arnold “Trinidad” Henry had a weekly show playing new calypso and reggae. He was more into calypso than reggae.  A lot of calypso was political and comical. Arnold was fascinating! There was often a personal crisis he’d talk about on the air. My favorite incident was when he said that his life had been threatened during the program, so he locked himself in the studio.. Someone called the cops. They convinced him to unlock the door. He just wanted more airtime.  Arnold played the first reggae dub track I’d heard- full dub albums were a new concept at the time. Most dub was found on the flipsides of reggae 45’s. One of the shows sponsors was Chin Randy’s Records in Queens. I trekked out there by train to buy my first dub records. That was a trip! Randy Chin’s family went on to start VP Records.

 What was the first alternative/independent music you got into? How did it happen (friends? older siblings?)

RF-The term “punk” as a music style hadn’t been coined yet.  I vaguely recall equating “punk” with the great “Nuggets” compilation or something Greg Shaw might have writ in Bomp Magzine. I didn’t identify labels as independent. I knew that if the label design was simple and the address was listed, it was probably a small company.  There were plenty of record stores carrying obscure stuff.   I bought import records from a few NYC stores. I took the bus in until I was old enough to drive.  One store Pantasia, was up in The Bronx. I went there one Christmas eve day to get the import of the second Sadistic Mika Band album. The clerk talked me into buying the harder to find first album as well. He said it sounded like Shel Talmy produced it. I knew who that was and it was a revelation to talk to somebody in a record store at that level. That is what a record store should be! I read Phonograph Record magazine, Bomp and Trouser Press regularly.  Patti Smith and Television self released their debut singles- those are the first “indie” records I bought, followed by the first two Pere Ubu singles.  I remember hearing the Modern Lovers’ “Roadrunner” from the Bezerkley Chartbusters comp on WFMU and thinking that there must be more music like that. It was refreshing.

Seeing Patti Smith and Television perform at CBGB’s changed my life. I connected the dots. I had BÖC albums on which Patti had co-writes.  She had a poem insert in Todd Rundgren’s “A Wizard, A True Star” album. She read a Morrison poem on a Ray Manzarek lp. She wrote for rock music mags with distinctive style. I read a brief story about her in the Voice and went to see her do her annual Rock N’ Rimbaud show. Shortly after that she and Television played CBGB’s for six weekends in early ’75. Both bands were really great. Patti didn’t have a drummer yet. Richard Hell was a big inspiration to me.  He looked cool. He played bass like he just picked it up the month before. That was a new concept.  Television changed bass players in the middle of the residency. Television was the first band I saw with short hair and they dressed like teenage delinquents circa 1962. The CBGB’s jukebox had a good number of 60’s garage records. In my head I conceived Television  to be inspired by that music.  Made sense to me- Lenny Kaye, who assembled the “Nuggets” comp,  is in the PSG. When I went back to see Television headline, The Ramones opened. Seeing The Ramones again, Talking Heads opened. It seemed like the streak of seeing great new bands would not end. They were distinctly NYC sounds. They could not have merged anywhere else.  I remember avoiding the band Suicide because I didn’t think the music could be good J. Bands like Tuff Darts, Mumps and The Marbles opened shows but I wasn’t thrilled by them. A CBGB’s band that doesn’t get mentioned much is Mink DeVille. They wore matching outfits like they were playing a low budget Miami dive in 1962J.  The club still had the small corner stage. The p.a. was ok and the bands had small amps. The music wasn’t loud in a “rock” way. You could sit at a table right in front of the band. Although we consider the club a birthplace of punk, the club showcased local bands that had been around for a while. I think the club upgraded the p.a. once before building the big stage. I realized at that point that when a band was great or at least interesting live, the records were basic documents of the band’s sound.

What was your first job in the music scene/industry?

RF- Before realizing I wanted to be in the business, I hounded import mail order guys on the phone about non-lp b-sides and albums that weren’t released stateside.  I was fascinated by the process.  Why were some records not in stores even though they had local airplay? My dad did not listen to much music, but he had an army buddy that made a living in Al Hirt’s band. He came to our house once. He gave my dad a copy of John Fahey’s “After The Ball” album, which he played on.  I liked his stories about the session man side of the business.  Fahey treated him well.  I was generally shy, but when it came to music I would approach anyone I thought I could learn from.  I heard horror stories about the music biz in NYC but learned later that those were a mob related labels. At the time, I thought the entire NYC music biz might be that way. I planned to move to California anyway.   In high school, I go-fer’d at local Jersey radio stations and talked my way into meeting a few top FM radio dj’s. I thought I wanted to be a professional dj, but my dad wisely talked me out of that. The itinerant radio jock life would not be for me. It was a racket.

In ’76, I took a long low budget cross country trip with my high school sweetheart.  Along the way, I stayed in Memphis for three weeks with a cousin who was stationed at the Millington naval base.  Got a job at a hip movie theatre that served liquor.  I found Alex Chilton in the phone book and spent an afternoon talking with him. I wasn’t yet legal drinking age in Tennessee. It amused him that a fan showed up in his town who was not old enough to drink.  En route to Cali, Tulsa, OK was on my route to find Shelter Records and studio , but it  shut down and the label moved to L.A. At the time, Dwight Twilley’s “I’m On Fire” was a radio hit. I didn’t think there were still bands like that. Twilley was from Tulsa, but had moved to L.A. by that time.

When I arrived in L.A. I visited small label record company offices. A few offered me jobs or references. I spent two weeks crashing at the Malibu house of a distant family friend. I didn’t want to live in L.A. but I was encouraged by the opportunities. I got a job at the famous record store- Rather Ripped in Berkeley, CA.

 Patti Smith told me about Rather Ripped before I left Jersey. In ’75, she and her band went to California for shows in L.A. and Berkeley. The northern Cali shows were set up by the store. She did a poetry reading there. This is well before “Horses” was released.  I bought a couple records from the store’s Dedicated Fool mail order service. They had a monthly catalog on newsprint. Thousands of records in tiny font.  Every record was described with a few words. This is 1976 and punk rock was just getting started. I worked as a prep cook in a charcuterie associated with Alice Waters’ famous restaurant Chez Panisse. The proprietor knew the record store owners. I wasn’t actively looking to work there, but I talked about music all day every day. They fast tracked me for an interview. Because of a scheduling mistake, Tom Petty interviewed me for the job. His first album just came out and “American Girl” was close to being a hit single. The band came to the store before a local show. Tom overheard the owner apologizing for not being able to do the interview, so he offered to conduct it.  It was great. I knew all about his label, Shelter Records.  I deliberately avoided talking about The Ramones and Patti Smith because punk was new and against the grain.  At the end of the interview Tom told the owners that if he lived in Berkeley, he’d buy all his records from me.  The store owner still had to interview me formally the next day, but I knew that I nailed it.

 It was owned by two dynamic gents that were connected to Berkeley society and Bay Area journalists. They weren’t typical record store guys. They celebrated the 70’s in the moment. They held court with well known music scribes, musicians, dj’s. They were good friends of The Residents. Perhaps my strangest story is meeting The Residents with the Rather Ripped owners at a S.F. Irish bar that specialized in Irish Coffee’s. I had only recently heard of the group, so I was not cognizant of their marketing myth.   At the bar, we were with our girlfriends and wives. One of the Residents tried to convince me and my gf to go back their place for a hot tub session.  I laughed out loud and said “geez, what a bunch of hippies”! We didn’t go. In retrospect, I should have gone on the condition that they wore eyeball heads in the tub. At that time, The Residents rarely performed live, but they did in 1975 for the store’s birthday party. The early Bezerkley Records (Jonathan Richman, Greg Kihn) was distributed to stores through Rather Ripped. Their office was a few blocks away. At the store, each employee had unique music taste and expertise. Pop music was changing rapidly with a new energy. Some of us were tapped into it.  We all had to know the key new releases in every genre because we were tastemakers. Major labels would beg us to do window displays for new releases. But if they could not find a store employee that liked that artist, it was no go. So, no Pablo Cruise window display.  We weren’t against major labels, but we put a lot of energy into selling the ton of music that we loved. Our focus was on imports, indies, promos and cut outs where we could get a good price mark up.  We had a rare record search service with customers all over the world. We’d find rare records through trade-ins and by combing record stores all over the state.

There were a few import distributors, but they weren’t hip to many small run U.S. independent releases. That was understandable because bands didn’t often press enough records for a distributor to get excited about. In other words, why spend half your day hunting down records that were only pressed in small quantities. Just as they start selling, you’re out of stock. There gonna sell a hell of a lot more Scorpions’ picture discs!   As always, some distributors financed exclusive re-pressings of records that had momentum. The only way to get records like Roky Erikson’s “Two Headed Dog” single or The Flamin’ Groovies’ “You Tore Me Down” 45 was directly through mail order.  I wrote to label addresses listed in Trouser Press and fanzines to buy direct in order to sell them in the store with no competition. Major label sales reps didn’t prioritize us  because we didn’t shift bulk units of the hits. However, we were so plugged in to the lesser known artists that we were a good place for record companies to try and start a buzz. We could swell 50-100 of a record that all the other stores sold a handful of. Bands showed up at the store while touring.  Springsteen bought Dylan bootlegs from us by mail order. Patti Smith’s manager Jane Friedman used the store as a home base when Patti and John Cale came through the area.

Berkeley is in the East Bay of the S.F. bay area. A few months after starting at Rather Ripped, I realized that the city had a rich music scene well before punk /new wave started. There was Fantasy Records, a well known jazz r&b label but best known for CCR;  Arhoolie, Solid Smoke, Metalanguage;  the contemp classical labels- Lovely Music and 1750 Arch; folk and blues labels like Takoma and Olivia. Of course, bands like Chrome and others started labels to release their own music. Ralph Records was started by The Residents, and they began signing bands.  Rather Ripped was also a center for improv, electronic and meditation records.

In ’77 or ’78   I joined the nascent Maximum Rock N Roll radio team. This was well before the magazine. In the early days there were weeks when we didn’t have enough new punk records to fill the two hour weekly show. Tim Yohannon was all about energetic, real rock n roll, so he filled in the program with records by Gene Vincent, The Sonics etc. BTW, Tim applied green masking tape to the three closed sides of every record he had. He gave me a Mekons double single  he decided he didn’t like. It was in a  gatefold sleeve that he sealed shut with his green tape!  Sometimes he re-designed the cover art…never for the better. He made his own pic sleeves for 45’s that didn’t have them. Bands would stare at their own records in bewilderment. Tim was archiving the records of the entire punk and hardcore movement worldwide.

Eventually, Tim brought in Ruth Schwartz, and Jeff Bale as co-hosts- both great people.  Jello Biafra was a frequent guest. Tim assembled the “Not So Quiet On The Western Front” lp and later organized syndication for the radio show. I remember hearing the first Disorder ep and thinking -this is the future! J  It was exciting. But soon, most hardcore records sounded alike to me. It was like- “Do you want more fries with your fries?” I went to plenty of live shows without knowing a lot about the bands playing them. I was happy when the fashion trended away from jackboots to sneakers…getting a boot kick to the head in a stage dive could be brutal.  I didn’t see a lot of skinhead violence at shows, but I know it was changing the scene.

San Francisco and Berkeley were important music centers, activist meccas as well as creative artistic and intellectual hubs.  Yohannon had history as an activist. He identified with public protests for causes & social issues.  For many teenagers, punk rock was a rite of passage. I think it changed a lot of kids’ lives for the better.  The overriding message was to be civically aware of what is going on around you and what affects your life.

 Tell me about your time at Arhoolie Records. Where was it located?

Rather Ripped’s owners had a falling out and the remaining owner just wanted to sell records and antiques with his wife. He moved it to a nearby city. Just before the store closed, he told me of an open position at Back Room Distribution, a division of Arhoolie. It was in El Cerrito, a small town north of Berkeley. Chris Strachwitz, the owner of Arhoolie is a legendary record man. He recorded many of his early blues albums with a tape recorder in his car.  He owned the legendary Down Home Music store in the same building.  Separated by partition behind the store was Back Room.  It was an indie label distributor for blues, folk roots music. Rounder Records was still a new label at the time. I gotta admit, when Rounder issued The Shaggs “Philosophy Of The World’ I was in seventh heaven. I worked primarily for the distributor, grooming to be a sales rep but I spent a lot of time in the store.  At first, I didn’t yet relate to blues and country music. But there were a lot of touring artists in those styles making a living. It was a strong network of clubs, fans, radio shows and press that fueled it. The store had an incredible selection of obscure 50’s/60’s rockabilly and garage band comps. The Cramps were my favorite band at the time.  The rockabilly comps  mostly on a the Dutch White Label, were treasure troves of insane songs.  My heart was in new music- whatever you wanna call it, punk, new wave, art music. That’s the business I wanted to be in.  I used my time to learn more about distribution operations. The people that worked at Arhoolie and in its community were fun music heads. There were a lot of good musicians among them.  It was a great time to live in Berkeley.

What was next, Rough Trade and CD Presents? Was that in San Francisco? I went to that Rough Trade store a few times and it was an amazing store.

I knew folks from Rough Trade UK because I bought imports from them to sell @ Rather Ripped. When they wanted to open in the U.S. they contacted me, but at the time the wage was low and there wasn’t enough space to work. I was interested in working in the distribution division, not the store. They speiled something about it being a socialist business.  I stayed at Arhoolie for a little while longer.  In the meantime, I was offered my own weekly late night radio show on Pacifica’s  KPFA in Berkeley- same station as Maximum Rock N’Roll. I took over a show called “Night Sky”, an ambient music program. My interim program title was “No More Mr. Night Sky” until I settled on “Assassinatin’ Rhythm”. The station’s music director was a contemporary classical composer closely associated with avant -garde and 20th century music. A major segment of my show was for industrial, post-punk and undefinable music. I hosted a few live on- air performances with Z’ev, Slovenly and Angst among others. Negativland’s “Over The Edge” program started on KPFA around this time. KPFA was 100,000 watts of power with affiliate stations covering the Central Valley down to Fresno and Bakersfield.

 When the time was right, I moved to Rough Trade’s U.S. distribution company in Berkeley. The record store was in San Francisco. We distributed a lot of British records sent by Rough Trade UK, often in small quantities.  Rough Trade US was set up to press and distribute select RT and Factory records by Joy Division, ACR, The Fall, Stiff Little Fingers, Crass. It was cheaper and more effective to press in the U.S and Canada. I also distributed some U.S. labels but there was one Brit on the staff that hated most American music.  On top of that, it could be a dangerous place to work. One of the staff was importing reggae records and weed from Jamaica to our warehouse. The local connection was shot on his porch shortly after he picked up a shipment! I was lucky to spend a few days travelling with Mark E.Smith of The Fall. He loved obscure rockabilly and garage band records. I was able to return to Memphis for a while to prep the first Panther Burns album for release. Tony Wilson of Factory put up most of the money to keep RTUS going. He was a brilliant character, but I learned from talking with him how not to conduct business. I often got sample records from bands that wanted distribution. Pell Mell’s “Rhyming Guitars” e.p.  was the start of my long association with the band. I enjoyed selling records to stores all over the country. I learned about local scenes, records, fanzines, clubs and college radio stations everywhere. Making these sources connect for touring bands and record sales was exciting. Because Rough Trade is British, we had the benefit of connections with club dj’s. We pressed and promoted New Order’s “Blue Monday” single on a shoestring budget.  For a long time, it was the best kept secret from the mainstream.  I left Rough Trade for Subterranean Records ( Flipper etc) for a spell while working in a record store. The guy that put up the money for the record store ran guns to Cuba through Mexico. Thankfully, not through the actual store.  I booked Cali shows for Panther Burns, The Wipers, Sonic Youth, Whitehouse.

Who owned the CD Presents label? I remember that Avengers compilation.

It was owned by a lawyer, David Ferguson. He had a recording studio as well.  I didn’t understand why he wanted to run a label. He did not have an ear for music. But we did release a Tales Of Terror lp!  He almost released a DOA album that I thought the band would kill him over. Many years later I got into a fist fight with one of David’s employees in a limo ride shared with Ferguson and Lydia Lunch. We fought through the window separating the driver from the passengers. I would love to recreate that for a film. Good times!

My main role there was to set up the first Billy Bragg record in the U.S. Billy’s manager was the legendary Peter Jenner and both were great to work with. They were using CD Presents as a stepping stone to a major label. In the meantime, I knew a few people at SST. Joe Carducci is an old friend. He was pitching me to move to L.A. and work there,  but I resisted for a while. I had just met the woman that I knew would be the love of my life. I didn’t want to move to SoCal. Joe gave me an ultimatum. He sent three advance cassettes that convinced me to go- Meat Puppets’ “Up On The Sun”, Minutemen’s “Double Nickels” and Huskers’ “New Day Rising” That’s an excellent recruiting strategy. I later married the love of my life.

On the side I booked shows for bands I loved. Gerard Cosloy asked me to book Sonic Youth first northern Cali shows. I also booked shows for The Wipers and noise band Whitehouse

Was SST Records next? How long did you last there and what was that like?

I was there for three years. “How long did you last there?” sounds like I was biding my time :)   I’m often asked about my time with SST.

Carducci hired me to do PR. That meant publicity, college radio, regional press. Video was a valuable promo tool. MTV’s “120 Minutes” program was a great way to promote our records.

In 1987 we put out more records than Warner Brothers. By that time, I hired people to help.

I’ve done a number of interviews about SST. If you have specific questions, shoot. I recall that my social life was almost entirely with my co-workers and bands on the label. I was nearly oblivious to music from other labels. I was a big fan of Dischord and Homestead. Metallica, COC, Voivod and the Birthday Party/Nick Cave were my non-SST staples.

I think around this time I had met you briefly in NJ at one of the Elks Lodge shows that my old friend Ralph Jones put on. Were you living in NJ at that point or just visiting?

You’ve mentioned that before and I don’t recall the specific show. I moved out of NJ permanently in ’76. I came back for annual summer visits to NYC, north Jersey and Philly. Some high school friends went to Upsala College, then the home of WFMU. On my first visit back in ’76  I met Irwin Chusid and R. Stevie Moore. Some high school friends were connected to Feelies before they took that name.

Was Blast First! next? I met Pat Naylor once and hung out with her at a show and she was really sweet.

Yeah around the time I left SST, the folks in Sonic Youth called saying that they had left as well. They wanted me to be involved with Blast First! in the U.S. I knew Paul Smith because he released their albums in the UK. Blast First UK released a number of Touch N Go and SST records. The label was a division of Mute which had a  U.S. deal with Enigma. My job was almost entirely “Daydream Nation” promotion. It was so much fun to be able to go deep  with one album. We issued Ciccone Youth shortly afterward, which augmented the overall Sonic Youth story.  The only other active touring band was Band Of Susans and on a limited level, Lunachicks and Big Stick.  It was only one year of work before Enigma cut Mute/Blast First loose. I went on Sonic Youth’s Soviet Union tour and I had a few memorable meetings with Sun Ra. David Bowie called a few times asking about recording studios that Dino Jr and Sonic Youth used.  Bowie had a brilliant idea to record Suicide’s “Dream Baby Dream” with Glenn Branca’s large guitar group. We tried following up on it but Bowie was immersed in Tin Machine and other projects.

Was it on to Geffen then?

Yes, Sonic Youth had good meetings with the label. I had recently met Mark Kates who was championing the signing.  He suggested that I come in to meet the entire company. He brought my name up with David who said, “we need someone like that here”.

I had fleeting thoughts that working for a major was “selling out”...punching corporate clock. I wanted to apply what I knew on a larger scale.  

What was that like, working for a proper major label? Was David Geffen still involved?

On my second day there, David called me into his office. He is down to earth, street smart. Like many of the best in the biz, he didn’t have an attitude.  He had met with the Meat Puppets. He sensed that Dinosaur Jr. was important. I reminded him that I was not hired for a&r.

He said- “I don’t assign job titles. If you find something else you’d like to do here, you can pursue it ‘after 5pm’ ”. I found reissue projects like the Pere Ubu box and Raincoats catalog. I recorded a new Raincoats album.  I signed Southern Culture On The Skids, Garrison Starr, Skiploader. I assembled and recorded Rob Zombie’s Halloween Hootenanny comp. With Sonic Youth, I pondered making records with John Fahey and Townes Van Zandt. After ten years, it was time to move on.

Tell us what you do now, didn’t you get involved with digital music at some point?

Geffen Records was folded into Interscope in 1999 and I was bored with the limitations of the business as it was.  Digital music was gaining ground solely through illegal file trading on Napster. I knew there would be a major shift in the business moving to digital. I worked for the download site. eMusic.com, signing distribution agreements with labels. This was years before iTunes and YouTube. Major labels would not work with us because mp3 files are open source files that could be traded freely without control.  They saw eMusic as a facilitator of illegal file trading. Like marijuana use leading to hard drugs!  In the big picture, I knew that digital downloads weren’t “sexy”.  But at some point, digital music would develop into something easier to track and use. We skipped the major labels. The bigger independent labels understood that digital music would be the future.  It was a great place to be. I knew a lot of music, but I had no idea there were so many labels in every country. One label owner told me that I had the best  job in the world. I knew that to explain this new unproven music format it could be an uphill climb. So I took the time to research label websites for song samples. That way I could find common ground with label owners. There’s surf music in Brazil? There’s a young female cellist duo in Prague that make energetic music? There’s archaic royalty rules connected to opera arrangements? Bring it on!  It certainly changed how I listen to music.

It was a time when business rules and legal rights had to change in order to deal with digital income disbursement. For example, digital downloads could be sold by the song while royalty payments were based on album sales. eMusic was at the forefront of those changes. When iTunes launched, digital music was “legitimized”. Borne out of eMusic was RoyaltyShare which provides a royalty accounting platform for labels. It is now a division of The Orchard and I divide my time between The Orchard and RoyaltyShare.

Who are some current bands you are into?

A loaded question! I listen to a lot of new music. I spend a lot of time listening to records and cd’s in my collection. Of current artists,  I really like Steve Gunn’s music. I listen to the projects involving members of Sonic Youth.  Bill Nace, Kim’s partner in Body/Head is a guitar genius. Body/Head’s music is a cathartic experience for me.  London is lucky to have Thurston Moore living and working there. I think the music they make separately is far more exciting that what Sonic Youth would’ve made if still together.

Lately I’m digging Melenas from Spain, Hayvenlar Alemi from Turkey. Quin Kirchner is a Chicago based  drummer that put out a great jazz record in 2018 called “The Other Side Of Time”. I think he plays on Ryley Walker ‘s records.

Because I’ve spent so much time with the music of Sonic Youth, Branca and Rhys Chatham, I crave the occasional dive into instrumental symphonic guitar army and tonal stuff. Current favorites in that vein are Bosse De Nage, Pelican, Sunn O)))

Given the chance I’ll see any performance by Mary Halvorson, Ches Smith, Marc Ribot or Mary Lattimore.

It took me years to get it, but I’m now a big fan of Keiji Haino’ music.  Dean McPhee is a British guitarist I really like. I just bought a couple of Willie Lane lp’s on Feeding Tube.

I research music history and the development of the industry. There are historical and social components of every type of music by culture, country, time period. I love stories about riots at premieres of new avant garde works. I read a book about famous classical composers in the 18th Century playing home concerts (salons) where people are talking the entire time…but they are paid handsomely for the performance.   Streaming music sites and YouTube are vast repositories of music and cultural documentation.

Do you still make it out to many shows?

I go to two/three shows a month when I’m home and more when traveling especially NY/London. I start work early in the morning so I’m not out late often.  I understand why people see less live music as they get older. I’m done with music festivals. The Big Ears Festival is the only Stateside event that might inspire me to stand for eight hours.

I always hear music by new artists that I really like. I don’t always go to see the live show. Sometimes I hear a new band that sounds like a band  I liked 20 years ago.  I wouldn’t deliberately see a band that uses another band’s sound as a template.

 What are your top 10 desert island discs?

I cannot do 10. It’s 20 or nothing. If you say sorry Ray, it will be nothing. FineJ If I’m on an island, I’ll listen to the ocean waves and sounds of nature. If I’m relegated to a desert, I’ll listen to the blood coarsing through my veins.

Miles Davis- Kind Of Blue

Television- Marquee Moon

Peter Brotzmann- Machine Gun

Sex Pistols -Never Mind The Bollocks

Rolling Stones- Let It Bleed

Soundtrack – The Harder They Come

Billy Harper – Black Saint

Kleenex/Liliput- First Songs

Patti Smith Group -Easter

Hound Dog Taylor & The Houserockers- Houserockin’

Led Zeppelin- Houses Of The Holy

Sonic Youth – Daydream Nation

Elvis Presley- Sun Sessions

The Cramps- Songs The Lord Taught Us

Pell Mell -Flow

Procol Harum- A Salty Dog

Sibelius- Complete Symphonies

Lou Reed -Coney Island Baby

Meat Puppets- Up On The Sun

The Kinks- Kinks Kronikles

 “Hmm....Flow or Star City?”

 Any final words? Closing comments? Anything you wanted to mention that I didn’t ask.

I’ve been involved off and on with the artist Raymond Pettibon for a music project called Supersession. He has made records under this moniker before. This project began in 1990 and stalled for many years. We revived it a couple years ago. I play bass. Raymond wrote many pages of words and lyrics that he passed to the band, encouraging us to write music behind them. It’s different from Raymond’s other records because it is not improvised. Rick Sepulveda, our guitarist is a great songwriter and he wrote music for Raymond’s words. Rick sings a bunch of the songs because Raymond loves his voice. We did a  NYC performance in November that was really fun. So now of course, I’m thinking we should play monthly in L.A. We are nearly finished with the album that we recorded at Casa Hanzo, the San Pedro studio Mike Watt owns with Pete Mazich. Raymond is a brilliant man; fun and inspiring to work with. When I practice with Rick, he’ll often break into a cover song deep in the recess of memory. Like John Cale’s “Hanky Panky Nohow” ,Kevin Ayers’ “Oh Wot A Dream” or the Doors “Wishful Sinful”. We may cover a Harry Toledo song. It’s a blast.  I hope to have the album finished in July.

 Tav, Bobby, Pell Mell and Ray 

[queenofmahishmati]

50 Questions You've Never Been Asked

Tagged by @iwearplaids and @jimikkikammal 💕

What is the colour of your hairbrush? mahogany handle with dusty gold paddle (wow I sound fancy)

Name a food you never eat? Prawns and Shrimps cause I'll die.

Are you typically too warm or too cold? I'm one of those people who run extra warm no matter what, used to be called my ex's personal space heater. Although my hands are a different story, they grow super cold when it's cold...

What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Wondering if I should get up and have something to drink or not... still doing it actually

What is your favourite candy bar? Alphenlibe. Was a sucker for that candy

Have you ever been to a professional sports event? IPL matches boohoo. I was once an idiot

What is the last thing you said out loud? Good nighty boo ~ to my roommate. He calls me wifey, I call him my boo. My gay best friend forever!!!! ((I'm still rolling around in my bed and it's 8am on Sunday))

What is your favourite ice cream? Banana and Cream from Häagen-Dazs. Plain chocolate too!!!!

What was the last thing you had to drink? Warm Choco milk. Helps me sleep

Do you like your wallet? I love mine cause my mom gifted it to me!!!!

What was the last thing you ate? Biryaaaani

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? I did... actually bought them a little earlier and got the package last weekend.

The last sporting event you watched? a game of ice hockey in February I believe. Or was it January?

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn? Salted with butter. Plain and simple.

Who is the last person you sent a text message to? My Uni friends group chat. We had a 15 people zoom chat a little before that.  

Ever go camping? I used to back home. A LOT!!! Not yet here.

Do you take vitamins? I do. D3 and C supplements.  

Do you go to church every Sunday? uh nope never have I ever

Do you have a tan? I do. Or maybe it's just my burnt skin cause despite being brown, I burn in the sun very badly if I'm not wearing enough SPF

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? Tough choice. Chinese food.

Do you drink your soda with a straw? Nope

What colour socks do you usually wear? Grey 

Do you ever drive above the speed limit? I barely drive and even if I do, nope. Too careful.

What terrifies you? The current situation around the world. I wanna go home but I can't...

Look to your left, what do you see? a picture from of me and my mum with my tiny teddy bear and owl

What chore do you hate? EVERYTHING!!! But I also find cleaning therapeutic. I can shut off my mind and just let my hands do it

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? Chris Hemsworth 

What’s your favourite soda? I don't drunk soda. Only coke— wait, is coke soda?? 

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? I go in cause I don't like drive-thrus

Who’s the last person you talked to? My mom last night over facetime just before I passed out 

Favourite cut of beef? Strip roast, I like them thin and quick to cook and eat 

Last song you listened to? Map of the soul: ON ~ BTS 

Last book you read? Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami

Favourite day of the week? Wednesday ~ the exact day when the past and future weekends aren't too far away

Can you say the alphabet backwards? No. I mess up as soon as I get W

How do you like your coffee? with lots of milk and sugar, sometimes with a hint of cocoa powder ~ love me a latte

Favourite pair of shoes? Adidas Originals Superstar with gold tag and lace ends ~ Fancy!!! 

The time you normally go to bed? Sometime between 11 and Midnight.... 2am on weekends

The time you normally get up? 7:30am

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Both. I live the golden hour during sunrises and the dusty pink gold glow of sunsets

How many blankets on your bed? Right now two, I'm rolled up in them

Describe your kitchen plates: Plates? Got ten plain white round ones. About 8 smaller creamy ones with dotted lines, 4 large rectangular ones. The rest are all bowls. 

Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? Pistachio flavoured Tequila

Do you play cards? YASSSSS you bet I do!!!

What colour is your car? the on I had back home is cherry red, my mom has it now. Don't have one here yet

Can you change a tire? IM SMALLER THAN A TIRE have you seen me????

Your favourite province? British Columbia, I looove this place

What did you do today that made someone else happy? today just started for me, so maybe yesterday, I made a random Zoom chat room and invited my uni friends, all of them, to have a chat for 4 hours. It was THE BEST!!! Everyone were happy by the end of it...

Favourite job you’ve ever had? I lived in Scotland shortly and worked there as a restorer. Had to work out in the cold sometimes or even rain, but I loved it.

How did you get your biggest scar? The one on the back of my ankle is like a huge wave with three ling stripes. During a summer vacation, I was playing with my cousins in the courtyard of our ancestral home. Our parents were cleaning out old things, so there was stuff everywhere. I ran across the courtyard, only to step on this boti that was laying on it side and the coconut grating end of it kind of grated my flesh out... I'm trying not to be graphic but yeah, I didn't even feel the pain until one of cousin screamed at all the blood dripping on the floor. Sage to say I scared the shit out of all the adults at home and then the village doctor by refusing to get it stitched. It healed in no time though, even without stitches. It's like, I was s vampire back then. Hmm...

Tagging @puppyloveblog24 @finnreyskywalker @carminavulcana @avani008 @rangdeenis @loveisyaariyan and anyone else who wants to do this!!!

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Beneath an Aurora Sky (Ch. 6)

Summary: The South Pole Station is equipped for research and Edge has always made sure things run smoothly for the inhabitants. His charges are meant to follow his rules and regulations, and in turn, he makes sure they survive in the arctic temperatures. It takes plenty of hard work and determination and Edge, along with his crew, can handle both.

He wasn’t counting on one of the newest researchers. He wasn’t expecting Rus.

Tags: Spicyhoney, First Time, Arctic AU, Hurt/Comfort

Notes: So, @cheapbourbon came up with an amazing AU and did some lovely art for it: please look at it and love it.

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Read Chapter Six on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

If Edge had to use a word to describe Alphys when they staggered into her lab, it would have been exasperatedly unimpressed. Not that Edge blamed her. After they’d brought everyone out of the rec area, Undyne insisted that they all needed a shot of whiskey and if any of their scientists would have preferred to beg off, none of them had been brave enough to do so. Red had vanished earlier, but even Edge gave in and had one. It was outside his normal, but then, all of this was. One shot turned into several and by the time he’d been ready to drag Undyne off to see her lover, there were three empty bottles and several loud, singing Humans to see to. Even with his own head swimming pleasantly, they’d managed to get everyone to their rooms and breakfast tomorrow was probably going to be filled with a very quiet, very pale group. Once the last researcher was pushed through their door, they started back to crew quarters.

Undyne was either too drunk to notice Edge hesitating at Rus’s closed door or sober enough to realize mentioning it would end poorly. Either way, it left the two of them making their stumbling way Alphys’s lab together. She looked up when they walked in and only shook her head, sliding out of her chair. “W-who won?” Alphys asked on a sigh. As if she hadn't probably been watching it all on the security cameras. “Aw, honeybear lovelizard baby, are you doubting me?” Undyne cooed. Once Alphys would have melted like warmed butter beneath that affection. Now...she still melted but she did hold out somewhat longer. Edge resisted the urge to gag. “Before you two settle into your nighttime routine, can I get you to look at my ribs? Your fishie buttercup love muffin or whatever you call her cracked two of them.” The ache dulled by the whiskey was starting to return with a vengeance. A brilliant blush settled over Alphys’s face and she nodded hastily, gesturing him over to the machine. He settled into the cushioned chair and closed his sockets, waiting. The same Core that powered the station also powered the machine and it started up with a low hum, vibration thrumming through him. Edge had seen the original plans for the machine, back before they'd come to the station. The notes in the margins had been written in a hand that Edge didn’t recognize and Alphys never spoke of whatever partner she’d worked with in the past. She also never mentioned that the original plans for it included straps on the chair that her version did not possess. It didn’t really feel like much of anything, a moment of warmth, nothing more, but the pain in his ribs started fading immediately. By tomorrow, they’d be healed. His brother’s treatment was only taking as long as it was because the injury was old. And, of course, for the obvious reason. “Has Red been in for a session?” Alphys shook her head and added another layer to her exasperation. “Not yet.” “That fucker,” Undyne grumbled. “Eh, if he’s not in by tomorrow we’ll corner him and drag him in by his tailbone.” Alarmed, Alphys said, “G-go easy on him, all this makes him u-u-un-un…” She couldn’t get the words out. They waited patiently but she finally shook her head. “J-just go easy on him.” “We will, Alphys,” Edge said gently. “You know I’d never hurt him.” She only nodded, her eyes downcast. It gave Undyne a chance to swoop in and scoop her up, ignoring her spluttering protests as she rained wet, sloppy kisses onto her brightly flushed cheeks and face while Edge could only look away in amused disgust. “Okay, okay,” Undyne set Alphys back down on her feet with a last smacking kiss. “You can get back to your amazing, interesting shit, baby. I’m gonna talk to the Boss here for a minute. “I literally have nothing that I want to talk about with you tonight.” He should have escaped during the distraction, his instincts were alcohol-dulled. “He’s a chuckle and a half, ain’t he.” Undyne gave Alphys a light shove in the direction of her work table. “Let me fuck with his head and then you can tell me all about your day, all right.” “S-sure,” Alphys gave them both an uncertain look but went back to her worktable. That she put on her headphones was as good as a promise to not listen in and when Undyne swung back to him, her serious expression was not one Edge liked. At all. “Okay, so we’re both tiddly,” Undyne said, hiccoughing as if in punctuation of that statement. “And you fucking hate people interfering in your life. I get that. But if you seriously listen to me right now, I’ll lay off a little about the fashion victim.” Edge gave her a hard stare and considered. “You’ll stop teasing the both of us?” “Didn’t say that,” she said, grinning sharkily. “But I’ll lay off some.” “Say your piece,” Edge sighed. It was hardly as if whatever she said would change anything. Involuntarily, he remembered the look on Rus’s face in the rec room. The shrunken eye lights, the way he’d backed away from them. His fear.

“I know your brother thinks he hauled in some secrets in his pelvis, but I think Red’s full of shit,” Undyne said with solemnness that belied her wobbly posture. “Rus’s fun and he’s cute as a fucking button. Have some fun with him. You can, you know.” “Undyne—" “Have a fling,” she went on stubbornly. “Enjoy it. Trust me, when he thinks you can't see him? That boy is always watching you.” “He could be looking for the best place to stick a knife,” Edge pointed out. But the whiskey made his control slippery and he couldn’t help a little smile as Undyne snorted a laugh. “Nah, not that one. That little sweetheart wouldn’t kick a penguin who stole his last protein bar.” Edge scoffed. “You’re blinded by your own bliss.” For once she didn’t laugh, didn’t send a fond look over to where Alphys was pointedly ignoring them. “Maybe. But you saw his face earlier. Your bro is wrong. He’s not hiding anything but a soft soul. He’s sweet on you, boss, it’s damn obvious. Two months and he’s going to be busy for a lot of it. It’s just a little distraction, so take it and—" She signed a little clumsily, her missing fingers always making it a touch awkward, and he couldn’t hold back a bark of laughter. “You just said I should toaster him beneath my bed.” Undyne blinked and shrugged. “Well, you get what I meant.” She raised both hands before Edge could reply. “Okay, that’s it, that’s the speech. I’m gonna go see if I can talk my distraction into a little playtime of our own. See you in the morning, Boss.” Edge took the opportunity to flee, shutting the door firmly and he sent a silent thank you that soundproofing had been included when they’d built the laboratory. His own quarters weren’t far away and already he was feeling more sober. Alcohol never affected him for long and by the time his alarm went off, he’d be fine. Soon enough, he was settled into his bed, but for some reason, sleep was elusive. Rus’s fearful expression refused to leave him, niggling at him. Whatever caused it, Edge wasn’t about to regret a little sparring. He and Undyne needed an outlet and that was that. He refused to be ashamed of any part of his life, not for anyone. Perhaps he was no longer the Captain of the Guard, but he was in charge of this station and he was proud of all they’d accomplished here. They’d built this station from the ground up, the four of them; himself and his brother, Undyne and Alphys.

With hard work, they’d made this one of the most sought after facilities in one of the most remote places in Antarctica; the wait list grew longer all the time, researchers from all over clamoring to come here to work. It also gave Alphys a place to do her work and when that was ready, it was going to revolutionize the world. Eventually. They’d built a home here and he didn’t need anything disrupting it, especially not a distraction that would only be there for a couple months. Edge rolled over, shutting his sockets determinedly. There was plenty to be done tomorrow and he needed his rest. It was still a long time before he slept.

~~*~~

The next morning proved his predication true with a tableful of pale scientists. Not as quiet as expected though; at least the pair of women chatted a bit with Undyne about their upcoming excursion that day. Edge was spending the morning with the trio of glaciologists and if their smiles that morning were somewhat forced, Edge suspected it had more to do with their headaches than anything else. His own eye lights were continually drawn to the conspicuously empty seat across from them and his brother, who always saw more than he should, raised a brow bone over his sunglasses and nudged him with an elbow. “sorry, boss, you already missed him. the fashion victim only did a drive by, said he was working on something.” “Good,” Edge said calmly. “Skipping meals can be dangerous living in this climate.” It was said mostly for the benefit of the other scientists, and so Edge didn’t think he deserved the looks Undyne and Red gave him. True to her word, though, Undyne didn’t comment on it, only gathered up her pair, her laughter ricocheting through the room as they went out the door.

His brother disappeared between one look and the next, thoroughly thwarting Edge’s intent to talk to him about seeing Alphys. Not unexpected but still irritating.

Eventually, someone would corner Red, and hopefully not get bitten in the process. His group was finished choking down breakfast soon enough and Edge led them to the vestibule to get ready. Everything was fine; his brother would get his treatment soon and so long as Rus wasn’t skipping meals, there was no reason to be concerned. Rus was here to work, after all, and seemed to be getting right into it. And Edge had a job to do.

~~*~~

It didn’t stop him from wondering later if Rus was avoiding them all. Or perhaps that was the wrong word because he did see Rus at lunch. But instead of his previous flirty cheer, he was working on his laptop, pausing in between bites to type furiously. That was more what Edge expected from the researchers, except somehow overnight a reversal had occurred. Now the Humans were more willing to chat and laugh, drawing Undyne and even Red into their conversations, while Rus kept to himself and his work. Aside from sharing a quick smile and greeting with Bonnie, he was as quiet now as he’d been enthusiastic before. If it sent a sliver of disappointment through Edge, he pushed it away. This was what Rus was here for and from what little Edge had gleaned from his words, he paid dearly to get here. If Edge didn’t need a distraction, then Rus should be avoiding one doubly so. Whatever his thesis was should have all his attention. But for one brief moment, he caught Edge’s eye light and his brief smile was the real one. It warmed him, ridiculously so, a gentle thrum in his soul. Edge ignored that, focusing on his own meal. His afternoon was booked solid and there were plenty of other tasks he needed to work on before he fell behind. Undyne might prefer a distraction in her life, but Edge was busy. He was.

~~*~~

That night, Edge was making a last check of the station before heading off to bed. It was a long-ingrained habit and one he sometimes couldn't sleep without.

Everything seemed secure enough, not that he was particularly worried about checking the door locks. Despite his brother’s taste in ridiculous movies, Edge had little concern that aliens of any sort would invade their station.

It was more to verify that everything was in its place, all equipment was being properly maintained and signed off on. When lives depended on everything being in working order, it paid to make sure no one shirked.

The hallways and rooms were empty; it was late enough that everyone was in their room, or wherever Red was hiding out to avoid a confrontation. Everything was as it should be.

Until Edge reached the kitchen. There was a light coming out from beneath the door and behind it, he could hear rustling. Hm, it seemed there was a rat getting into the supplies. He turned the door knob silently, pushing it open an inch and peering inside. To find Rus poking through one of the cabinets, the battered kettle hanging from one hand. Well, more of a curious mouse than a rat, but one that Edge would have thought was too clever to fall into a trap. Usually. “Need help?” Rus jerked, yelping as he banged his skull on a shelf. He rubbed his head, wincing. “fuck, would you wear a bell!” “You’re welcome to try attaching one.” “no, thanks, i like all my limbs where they are," Rus said dryly. "and no, i don’t need help, i just wanted a hot drink. coffee or something.” “Coffee will keep you awake,” Edge pointed out. Rus only shrugged. ”i don’t sleep well anyway. and…i’m sort of cold. i thought a warm drink would help.” That was good information to have. If any of the researchers were having issues, even ones of comfort, Edge needed to know. Sickness was always a concern and while there was nothing that Rus would infect the Humans with, there was his brother to think of.

Not that Rus looked sick, not at all. The pristine bone of his skull was glossy with health and his eye lights were wide and steady, the more delicate bones of his hands didn’t have the slightest trace of a tremble.

Even so, such an admission deserved a reward. Edge took the kettle from Rus’s hand and filled it, setting it on the stove. While he waited for it to boil, he unlocked the steel box that held his private stores and took out a box of tea. Rus sat at the table to watch him, propping his chin on one hand. “letting me in on your secrets?” “I trust you,” Edge said simply. With his supplies, at least. That was true enough. A faint blush rose in his cheek bones. Rus didn't say anything, but his smile was shyly pleased. Edge leaned against the counter to wait on the kettle, and the niggling concern of the day demanded he ask, “If we upset you last night—"

Rus coughed loudly, deliberately, and Edge stopped. “hey, so, if we could maybe never talk about that, that’d be great.” He met Edge’s gaze with a wry smile. “like the song says, i’ve got issues. it’s okay. i’m fine with it. “All right,” Edge said easily. So long as it didn’t become a problem, Rus could keep his secrets. It was only a few minutes work before he had two cups steeping. Once they'd finished, Edge poured a measure of honey into Rus’s cup and pushed it over to him. Rus curled his hands around the mug with a grateful sigh. “should i be worried that you already know how i take my tea?” “It’s my job to know about the people I’m responsible for.” Not to mentioned he’d noticed it at several meals now. "uh huh." Rus’s eye lights were shining over the rim of his cup “how does johnson take his coffee?” “Hot,” Edge said, deadpan. Rus only laughed and the sound of it made him warmer than the tea. “Are you hungry?” “wouldn’t say no to a snack.” Edge set a pan to heat on the burner and dug through the pantry, pulling out a tightly wrapped loaf of bread. He cut even slices of it, enough for a couple of sandwiches each. "won’t bonnie get mad if you’re messing up the supply inventory?" Rus asked. It didn't escape Edge's notice that he was hunched in, curling over his half-empty cup. He was dressed in the thermals Edge had given him, but the sweatshirt he’d been wearing earlier was missing. Edge stripped off the fleece-lined jacket he had on over his heavy thermal shirt, draping it over Rus's shoulders before going back to the pantry. If Rus was coming down sick, getting chilled would do no one any favors. “Considering that I’m the one who makes the bread, I should hope not.” “thanks, but i'm fine.” It didn't stop Rus from snuggling into the warmed fabric. “and really? you make it?” “It fills the day.” With a grunt, he retrieved an industrial-sized can of peanut butter, setting it on the counter next to the bread. “you’re making us a peanut butter sandwich?” Rus sounded equal parts amused and doubtful. "Peanut butter is an excellent source of protein," Edge countered. "Protein and carbohydrates are necessary for the extra calories you're burning keeping warm and it will help you sleep. But if you'd prefer to cook something else?" "no, no, martha stewart, it's all you." "You mock, but she has excellent taste." He spread peanut butter thickly on the slices then added them to the hot pan, toasting them until each side was golden brown and the smell of roasting peanuts was heavy in the air. Edge piled them onto a plate, setting it on the table and they both ate through the stack before they even had a chance to cool, between whispery bites and sips of tea. "that wasn't half-bad," Rus admitted, as if he hadn't eaten his fair share. As it was, he dabbled a finger in the remaining crumbs and licked it clean. "Mmm." Edge washed down his last bite. "You should go to bed if you're going to get anything accomplished tomorrow." "yeah." He stood, lingering a moment longer, pulling Edge's jacket tighter around himself. "thanks. for everything." Before Edge could offer a word to that, Rus ducked his head and there was a ghost of pressure against his mouth, another stolen kiss too fast to be returned.

He started out the door, quick as before but this time Edge managed to catch his sleeve.

“Wait.”

Rus hesitated, those soft, pale eye lights wider than ever, the flush in his cheek bones brightening.

“You’ve done that twice now,” Edge said quietly. Twice in only three days. Once on the cheek, once on the mouth, as light as a falling snowflake. “yeah?” Rus swallowed hard and he was standing there in Edge’s shirt, wearing Edge’s jacket. Cute as a button, Undyne called him, not entirely inaccurate, but also somehow pure and tempting.

So tempting.

Edge ignored the faint hoarseness in his own voice as he asked, “Do I get to return the favor?” He didn’t wait for an answer, curving a hand around Russ’s skull and pulling him down. Pressing their mouths together, firmer than the snowflake brushes of before and Rus moaned softly, meeting it with soft pressure of his own. Nothing more than a gentle, lingering touch and Edge drew away with reluctance, letting him go.

Rus’s eye lights were blown wide, shading sweetly orange. His smile was soft, real, even as he backed away and the door swung shut behind Rus as he fled through it. Edge didn't chase him, not even for his jacket. Instead, he pressed two fingers against his mouth, mimicking that soft touch. Trouble, that was the word for it, all packaged in soft eye lights and a pretty smile, the scientist who paused to look at the sky. Damn his brother for being right.

~~*~~

Read Chapter Seven

[quell-tea-salon]

SolidS QUELL Party (SQP) event report~! (Warning: I ramble. A lot.)

The concert was over a month ago and unfortunately I have a memory on par with a goldfish, but it was one of the best experience I’ve had in Japan so far and I’ll try to recall as much as I can ;;;

The event took place on July 16th at the Kokugikan in Ryogoku. I was blessed enough to win tickets for the afternoon session, and arrived early to queue so I could enter the hall without standing in the sun for too long. There was a booth outside selling official concert merchandise like character goods and light sticks; I didn’t buy any, but there were loads of people near the booth who had laid out their purchased merchandise for trading (since most of the character goods are blind boxes). I should’ve brought along my SolidS merch to give away, since I’m really only into QUELL. (OOT: QUELL and SolidS are usually grouped together in blind box merch. I love everyone in QUELL so my chances of getting something I like is preeeeeeeetty high, but for some reason I keep getting Shiki?! So if anyone wants Shiki merch, let me know. I have... lots.)

There was probably life-sized standees of the characters somewhere in the lobby but I couldn’t find them ;; I went to look for my seat which was on the 1st floor and quickly realised that half of my view of the stage was blocked by the speakers...grr. Couldn’t complain too much though, since I was lucky just to be there. The photos above were taken while waiting for the rest of the crowd to take their seats. In the meantime, SolidS and QUELL PV’s were played on the projection screen. Every time SolidS appeared on screen, the audience screamed lol. There was some noise for QUELL too, but definitely not as loud... I was quietly cheering for my sons in my heart ;w; Started chatting with the girl sitting next to me and found out that she was a SolidS fan (of course), and that her favourite was Dai-chan (good taste). I really wanted to give her my SolidS merch.......

About 15 minutes before the show started, the two Lizz squirrel mascots (purple for SolidS, blue for Quell) emerged on stage, dressed in sumo gear (in reference to the venue, which is usually a sumo wrestling ground), to say hi to the arena audience. They were so big and round... ;w; I was super jealous of people who had tickets for arena seats, they got to be so close to the stage!!

The lights dimmed and SolidS appeared on stage as the audience went crazy. They opened the set list with KARA DA KARA, followed by Quell’s HIKARI. My heart was about to beat out of my chest, I was just so happy to be able to see my Quell sons in the flesh ;_______; I don’t know if my seat position in relation to the speakers had anything to do with this, but I couldn’t really hear the vocals well ;_; The music was too loud and vocals sounded muffled.... Nevertheless, getting to hear the groups sing live was a magical experience.

Next, everyone came back out onto the stage for introductions and opening talk (while admiring the 360 degrees seating). I only realised this after the concert, but they were all dressed in the same clothes as the characters in the official concert art! SolidS all slick and deadly in urban monochrome outfits, and Quell looking all breezy and relaxed in loose charcoal and blue. The twins of course were wearing matching clothes, down to the accessories....... ugh... angels..... Nogami even had Ichiru’s hairstyle T_T

The Lizz squirrels popped up on stage occasionally and the cast members gave them lots of love; Takeuchi kept hugging the Quell Lizz and squeezing his tail lol (he really loves cute animals). Nishiyama and the twins took turns holding his hands or gently guiding him around the stage (family aura!!). SolidS......... grabbed their Lizz by the crotch....

Moving on to the solo performances. Shiki took the lead with Tide, followed by Tsubasa with Canaria. I wasn’t familiar with any of the songs, but i could tell that the audience loved them. I don’t particularly appreciate Eguchi and Saito’s singing styles, but they had a lot of energy and really knew how to work the crowd.

After that, it was QUELL’s turn. First to perform was of course Shu, with End of Night. Takeuchi was completely at home on stage, strutting around and engaging the audience. I was surprised that he had backup dancers and i don’t know if he was meant to know the choreograph, but he danced along with ease and at other times swayed his hips in a way that made my inner mom voice want to yell at him to behave lol (I can’t help it, he’s so young). In recordings, Shu’s vocals are bold and precise; during the concert, Takeuchi was singing as himself - messing around with the melody, using short, breathy notes, and just having lots of fun. It sounded very different from the recorded version of End of Night, but it was a great performance regardless. 

Issei took to the stage to sing Hoshizora (starry sky) as the audience changed their light sticks to blue. IMO Shugo gave the most solid performance of the show. Issei’s voice was clear and powerful, but sweet and delicate at all the right moments. And he thanked us for showing him a beautiful starry sky with our light sticks T_T At this point the CD actually hadn’t been released yet so all we had was the demo. The full song was incredible. FYI, Shugo played the guitar for Hoshizora; I would’ve died if he had actually played the guitar at the concert too...

After the song, the rest of Quell joined Issei on stage. Ichiru ran STRAIGHT at Issei and gave him a tackle hug T___T I can’t deal with these two...

The next segment was SoriRaji (SolidS radio) and QueRaji (QUELL radio). Again, my memory is pretty fuzzy, but I’ve tried to jot down as much as I can remember. 

Eichi was probably nervous and kept messing up his lines. The twins cheered him on together with “Eichi, faito!” godddddddd so cute ><

Question for Shu: When did you realise that the twins had opened up (to you/Quell)?

Shu: I took a nap on the sofa one day, and when I woke up I found the twins asleep next to me

Ichiru: WAAAAAAAAAAAAA DON’T SAY ANY MORE

Issei: You looked so comfortable sleeping there, we couldn't help joining in...

Ichiru: Though it was creepy waking up to find Eichi STARING at us

Eichi: I was so jealous!!! I wanted to join in but there wasn't enough space on the sofa ;_;

There was a question directed at Shu, I don't quite remember what it was but it had something to do with Shu's schedule being busier than the others and whether it was hard for them to spend time together.

Eichi: Shu's usually the first one awake and out at work before the rest of us are even out of bed.

Twins: We should try to get up earlier sometimes and have breakfast together!

Shu: *Weeps into hands* My children are precious... (#Mychildrenareprecious became the official twitter hashtag for SQP lmao)

Question for the twins: What kind of cakes do you like?

Issei: I like mille crepe and cream puffs

Ichiru: I like cream puffs too! And mont blanc, and chocolate cake, and strawberry short cake! Anything with whole strawberries on top!

Mom, dad & audience: Aww...

Ichiru: W-what?! I just like desserts with lots of cream, what's wrong with that?!!!

Shu: That's cute ^^ I don't eat a lot of sweets but if I had to pick one, it'd be rare cheese cake

Eichi: Ti. Ra. Mi. Su <3

Question for the twins: Issei, as the older sibling, have you ever wanted Ichiru to call you "oniichan?"

Issei: I’ve never really thought about it before and I don’t think that it’s necessary, but now that it’s been mentioned I kinda want to hear it...

Ichiru: .....Hear what

Issei: You calling me oniichan

Shu: I’m filming this :)

Ichiru was reluctant ofc, but after some prodding from mom and dad (and the audience)...

Ichiru: (smol voice) .....Oniichan

Shu, Eichi, Issei: *FIST PUMP*

Audience: *DEAD*

Question for everyone: If QUELL was to go on holiday together, where would you go?

Ichiru: Okinawa!! I reaaaaaaaally wanna go to Okinawa!!!

Shu: *fond dad face* Let’s go ^^

Ugh they were 1000000% Happy Family, it was the CUTEST thing to watch.... I was trying not to die from how cute the twins were and it was reassuring to see Shu also trying his best not to burst into tears whenever the twins did or said something cute (which was ALL THE TIME).

I don't remember much from SoliRaji (SolidS radio), but #PHO~! became the other designated SQP tag because Shiki kept yelling that word LOL. It started with Shiki answering a question about his favourite south east asian food or something, and his reply was Vietnamese pho ("PHOOOO~!!"). That became a running gag throughout the rest of the concert wwwww Dai answered Thai green curry :3c 

And oh, in response to a question about who had the biggest hands in SolidS, all 4 pressed their hands together to compare sizes (Tsubasa and Dai even snuck in a lovers grip). Cue lots of dying screams from the audience, haha. In the end, Shiki was the largest, followed by Rikka, Dai, and Tsubasa (obviously based on the seiyuus hands, though I was surprised that Hanae’s hands were bigger than Umehara’s). 

In a nutshell, Eguchi and Umehara were wrecking havoc by running their mouths, so Saito had his hands full running damage control... as usual ww

After a short break the show continued with the solo songs, starting with Rikka’s Good Night My Darling. I always enjoy hearing Hanae sing live, he has such a pretty voice! Next was Dai’s Jinsei Hard Mode. Umehara’s singing improves every time I hear it... and obviously we all know he’s ikemen, but in person he’s even more gorgeous, goddamn.

Ichiru’s Akaku Somaru Sora (red sky) was as energetic and straightforward as in the CD! Tbh i think singing as Ichiru stifles Nogami’s skills (apparent when you hear Nogami singing in his own voice, and yes, that’s Shugo next to him) but he’s great to watch live and i LOVE that he waves enthusiastically at the crowd as Ichiru!!

When it was Eichi’s turn to sing his solo, Niji (Rainbow), we were all super excited because the song’s demo isn’t even out yet, and here we got to listen to it live, in full!! It was a fun, summery pop tune, befitting its title, and the whole time Eichi was hopping around and waving at the audience with a huge smile. He really was emitting rainbows and flowers T___T Nishiyama’s not the strongest singer in QUELL, but he definitely embodies Eichi’s cheerfulness.

SolidS returned to the stage to perform Tokyo LOVE Junky, followed by Quell with Aoi Mizu. I had mixed feelings when I first listened to Aoi Mizu since it felt completely out of place on a Quell album, but i figured they probably needed at least one upbeat concert-friendly song, and sure enough it seems like Aoi Mizu was written for this purpose. It’s definitely a lot easier to shake your light stick in time with the song compared to Hikari, or even Believer ^q^

We were asked to participate in a recording for the Tsukipro anime that’s airing in October. They wanted us to yell out the characters’ names or scream “kya~!” to use during actual concert footage in the anime!!! They were only recording for SolidS in the afternoon which meant that Quell’s would get done during the night show... I wanted to be there for Quell too >< Anyway, SolidS took turns going up on stage and used hand signals to indicate when we should start/stop yelling. Each recording lasted 30 seconds iirc? The audience was happy to comply haha, we went WILD. Shiki went first, then Tsubasa. When it was Rikka’s turn, Hanae wanted some variation lol he asked us to whisper when he put his hand down, and tune up the volume as he raised his hand. It was a lot of fun, I was laughing half the time because he was contorting his body (bending over backwards etc) while moving his arm, just being a clown really. We did our best to match his hand movements and got praised for it at the end :3 Lastly, Umehara got up for Dai and his first words were “Don’t call me Dai-chan” JKSDGJLHGDFLJ CUTE he used the same system as Hanae and ofc most of us screamed “DAI-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAANNN” ^q^

The show came to a close with the obligatory event ending song Sexy☆Sense. Obviously performed by SolidS as it’s their song, but Quell stuck around to join in. There was a lot of activity on stage but I mostly kept my eyes on the twins ;w; I have to admit that SolidS’ music is not really my taste, but Sexy☆Sense is super catchy and it’s hard not to sing along. A supercharged ending to an amaaaazing concert!!!

I’ve pre-ordered the SQP DVD so that I can watch what happens in the night session >< Can’t wait!! To those of you who managed to survive my TL;DR, thank you for your patience!