#also no one bother asking for these guys. you cant have them. theyre my special guys that gave me brainworms ♥

[ssspringroll]

Omg it's them... Imaginary friends from my brain...

Updated slightly from how they would've looked when i last thought about them nearly 10 years ago. One of them grew out of his edgy phase. The other one... not so much.

[myidlethinkings]

So my girlfriend has been trying to have me read the Wheel of Time series since when she was just my best friend. I picked back up the second book recently but it's been a while since I read the first and she went on this massive "YOU WON'T REMEMBER EVERYTHING FROM THE FIRST BOOK, LET ME TELL YOU"

This led to her Wheel of Time in 5 Minutes ™ lecture/rant and... I had to share this with the world. Enjoy.

Obviously every spoiler for the first book. You've been warned.

_______

k, eye of the world in 5 mins.

begins in the two rivers, emonds field, is gonna be bel tine and everyones all excited. rand lives further afield with his father and theyre bringing in brandy for the inn. rands all omg someones watching me as theyre getting in, tams all i cant see anything, rands all mustv imagined it. they get there. they hear theres going to be a gleeman. meets up with his bestie perrin and LOVER mat I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP who are both like yeah we totes saw the figure too. they go we'll tell the mayor tomorrow.

they see the gleeman thom and theyre all omg a gleeman, omg. then the two strangers, moiraine, who is the best character ever to character in any universe fucking fight me on that and lan, who are asking questions about the area and people and moiraines like oh hi child to nynaeve the wisdom whose like im the fucking wisdom bitch who the fuck are you. she then says to the boys hey here have this coin which is totally a normal coin cuz i might have errands and shit and theyre like holy shit anything you want.

then he sees egwene and hes all like omg the love of my life will you dance with me tomorrow at bel tine and shes all yeah sure in the afternoon cuz i got shit to do in the morning and hes all like wut? and shes all GETTIN MAH HAIR BRAIDED YO and hes all like holy shit that means shes marriagable, holy shit man.

then the peddler paidan fain rocks up and gets everyone in a frenzy over war wherever and false dragons and logain or whoever else.

rand and tam go back to the farm overnight before the festivities begin. shit goes down. trollocs smash in, rands all OMG TROLLOCS ARENT REAL THO LIKE WUT and tams all, fly you fool and rand runs into the woods. but then hes all, i cant fucken leave my father so he creeps back and in the shadows he sees tam creeping around with a sword and rands like DAFUQ why does he have a sword, fighting ensues, tam gets hurt, is dying, rand manages to get him back to emonds field with a figure trailing them.

tams delirious, starts talking about rands dead mother and then starts talking about a battle and how they all poured over the dragonwall and that it was snowing but it was so hot, battle is always hot and she was a warrior even though she was pregnant and she gave birth and died and how he took the baby and rand was all WUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. im gonna ignore that shit.

gets to emonds field. everything is in ruins. trollocs wrecked the shit there too. nynaeve is all like sorry dude, your dads gonna die. hes all fuck that, gets back to the inn where the gleemans like hey that ladys an aes sedai, she could heal him but i totally wouldnt because you never know what they ask for in price and rands all i dont care because HE IS MY FATHER. MY FATHER. HEEEEE. ISSSS. MYYYY. FATHERRRRR. thoms all, holy shit dude calm down hes your father. moiraine, the best character in the universe, heals tam, then shes all like look, you three boys need to come with me and rands all, well shit she makes sense and they go but then egwenes hiding too and shes all bitch im adventuring too and rands all AHHHH and moiraines all huh the wheel weaves what the wheel wills, whatevs, and they go on, with thom whose also like this place is boring asf, im coming on.

they head out, dragkhar fly overhead, moiraine like a mofo destroys them, they get to tarren ferry, cross on the ferry, then coincidentally theres a whirlpool and the ferrys destroyed when theyre on the other side and egwenes like HOLY SHIT YOU DID THAT and moiraines all cuz im fucking awesome and nobody can follow us now so stfu and they head on.

rand interrupts a lesson with moiraine teaching egwene the true source cuz egwenes got it. rands all FUCKING WTF and thoms all dude, leave it, you cant do a thing about it. Shes gone now. Why don’t you bang mat instead. I mean the mat comment never happened but I will ship them till my dying breath. moiraines all to egwene youll die if i dont teach you, there was another back in emonds who also had it but she managed to survive/channel in her own way.

egwene starts to unbraid her hair. rand has a crying fit. egwenes all fuck off man, i do what i want. mydraal and shit attack them, they get to baerlon safely. where the gatekeepers like the children of the light are around but they cant cause much trouble cuz the city watch hate them and the whitecloaks are little bitches. they get to baerlon. mat and rand walk around. they see a few of the whitecloaks, dane bornhold a young man leading the small group. mats like lol, watch this, enters a shop, climbs up the top and hurls a rock at them, loosening barels. rand has started to feel feverish and when the barrels nearly knock them over, rand stands there and doesnt hide and rands like lol and danes like dafuq are you looking at and rands like im looking at you what are YOU looking at and hes feeling really odd and reckless and danes like are you a darkfriend and steps forward but then the city guards turn up who hates the whitecloaks and they face each other off and mat hauls rand off all are you fucking insane, you faced him off and rands recklessness leaves him and he freaks out and they flee.

throughout this time and through the book all three have dreams but i cant be bothered to get into those, theyre basically all the dark one figuring out who is who, and they wake up after rats backs were broken in the dream to be all oh hey it was just dreams though, to find rats dead all over the place and other stuff. Moiraine told them early on to go to her if they have dreams and the boys talk about it and theyre like we should probably tell her but nah, she saes sedai and like, its just dreams yo, yeah a few rats end up dead but cool, its fine, we’re fine.

oh baerlons also where he meets min who can see things around them, like with him a sword that is not a sword and three women on his funeral pyre weeping and with perrin she sees wolves and mat dice and with lan seven broken towers and a baby in a cradle with a sword and blah blah. And she says she can see he loves egwene and egwene loves him too but theyre not for each other, at least not in the way they want to be.

then he returns and nynaeve is there and she is PISSED and is all like we're going home now and moiraine manages to convince her they are in trouble and nynaeves like ..... i dont trust you, but fine. and lans all how did you find us and shes all i tracked you bitches and hes all like, huh.

rand says to her later about MY FATHER HE IS MY FATHERRRR and nynaeves all awkwardly like er yeah totally, i totally dont remember when your father returned after adventuring with an outlander wife, that totally explains your red hair, er yea sure. but that above all they loved him as much as they wouldv loved any baby.

oh a bunch of times during the book people startle at him and him being so tall with red hair and grey eyes and say he resembles an aiel. oh, theyre also ta'veren, so extra special they draw people into doing stuff with their lives, they effect the pattern. moiraine also says the two rivers used to be manetheran, a fabled kingdom. that night shit happens and they run off. they run, fight, attack, fight, as they battle mat starts yelling out things in an old language he doesnt know, that moiraine says was a manetheran war cry and the old blood still sings.

theyre going to get outrun in battle and against moiraines judgement lan takes them to an old crumbling city shadar logoth which fell to the darkness and even trollocs and mydraal dont like entering it.

oh also tam gave rand the sword which is a heron marked blade and lans all like er only blademasters have these why did your father have one and rands all HES MAHHH FATHERRRRRR and lans all yeah but how and rands all he bought it from a merchant years before and lans all yeah that sounds totally legit.

they go into shadar logoth, the boys sneak off, meet mordeth whose all like lol here take the treasure and mats like cool but rands like holy shit he doesnt have a shadow and then mordeth goes all rahhhh and the three manage to escape and they return and ramble about what happened and moiraines like DID HE GIVE YOU ANYTHING and theyre all like no and mats like er totally didnt and moiraines like we have to move and they leave but then this shadow thing that can kill them separates them and theyre all separated and perrin and egwene fall into a river together, and nynaeve finds moiraine and lan and is all like I will cut you aes sedai for what you’ve done to all of us and moiraine is all lol, and rand and mat with thom end up on a ship, the spray, with bayle domon and theyre worried he’ll throw them overboard cuz of the trollocs that chased them but domon seems to think theyre after him.

moiraines like with the coins i can track them, but two of them have lost their coins (paying for passage on domons ship). perrin and egwene roam around a lot, finally meet up with a man elyas who can communicate with wolves. aes sedai once tried to gentle him because of it but it has nothing to do with the one power so it didnt do anything. theres hints he used to be a warder, but now he hangs out in the wilderness. he says perrin has the same thing, perrin freaks out. elyas is like ill take you to the next city cuz you guys are lost. they then meet up with the tuatha'an, the tinkers, who roam around and dont harm anyone even if theyre to be harmed. perrin cant reconcile that, hes all how can you defeat evil by that, but in turn they pity him as hes such a young, sad, violent man with his axe. his eyes start turning gold like elyas' and he starts to communicate with wolves like hopper and a bunch of them though he tries to deny it.

egwene dances with aram, one of the tinkers and perrins all wow what about rand and they eventually leave, though aram is restless for a tinker.

the leader asks elyas if hes found the song which is their formalities, elyas is all no we havent. the leader then tells him of a story he heard, of an aiel who crossed the waste and died, to tell them that leafblighter means to blind the eye of the world. then she died. they leave and then they then meet afoul of the whitecloaks who are fighting whatever and bornhold - danes father – and byar catches them. through the ordeal perrin kills two of the whitecloaks while hes being all half wolf in the battle and they take them in to be questioned.

nynaeve and moiraine/lan end up finding them, releasing them, the wolves assist, nynaeve gets left behind, lans all about to get her, moiraine reminds him of his oaths, nynaeve turns back up.

meanwhile rand/mat are at whitebridge and mats starting to get sick and suspicious. he had a dagger from shadar logoth. a mydraal finds them, thom hurtles his flute and harp at them, says to go, to leave. hes saving them because he once had a nephew who could channel and the red ajah gentled him, while thom was having an affair with the queen morgase of andor when he was a court bard and by the time he got to owen it was too late and hed not survived, which he always regretted and then because he left morgase the way he did she was pissed at him too. rand and mat run for it, rand sobbing that thom is dead.

they go from village to village to village, mat getting sicker and sicker, a young woman who ends up being a darkfriend tries to kill them, they escape. rand keeps thinking he sees padan fain the peddlar from home, whose actually a darkfriend.

moiraine tells nynaeve she has the power too, nynaeve has a mini breakdown. moiraine said it would have begun with a doing something she desperately needed then a few days later collapsing really ill and the illness disappearing quickly. nynaeve once said egwene had gotten sick as a child and shed healed her not knowing how, then gotten sick. moiraine says thats also how she found them to begin with, in the city, she could sense egwene.

rand and mat go to a poor inn, they try to rob them by locking them in the back. mats getting sick and even more paranoid. rand is terrified when he realises theyre going to sell them to a darkfriend and he prowls and prowls till the room theyre in explodes, the wall crumbling. rand doesnt know how but he thinks he did it himself. mat becomes blinded from it and starts sobbing.

they escape. on the run again. as mat is blind, rand takes care of him and mat in his illness is worried that rand will abandon him which rand would never do because mat is the LOVE OF HIS LIFE, rand ends up really sick, paralleling what moiraine said what happened to nynaeve.

they end up hitching a ride to caemlyn where they expect moiraine to find them, if shes still alive. the buggy driver talks about the queen. how elayne is the daughter heir and her brother is the first prince of the sword. its been tradition forever that the daughter heirs go to tar valon to train and the princes go be taught by warders. he mentioned tigraine who was the queen before morgaise, who disappeared mysteriously nearly twenty years ago, who left behind a son galad. morgaise married the husband and became queen and while she had elayne and gawyn, galad lives with them too, now the husband is dead. oh, also logain the false dragon is being presented to the queen as prisoner before the aes sedai take him to tar valon to gentle him.

they get to caemlyn, mats REALLY sick. rand leaves him at an inn, tries to go see the false dragon being brought in. he meets loial an ogier whose nice, whose like 90 but really young for an ogier to have left his stedding without permission. rand ends up thinking he sees paidan, but doesnt have a good feeling, tries to run off, falls into a castle garden. meets elayne the daughter heir who might actually be the most annoying character to exist, her brother gawyn. theyre like omg you look like an aiel. elayne then talks about gareth bryne the guard captain dude she ships hard with her mother. galad MY MOST PURE CHARACTER WHO I LOVE FUCK ELAYNE (not a spoiler, his name is of the most pure camelot round table knight) rocks up, is all, holy you broke into the palace. elayne whose a bitch is like how DARE YOU YOURE NOT MY BROTHERRRR and galads all we are siblings and my duty is to protect you and shes all you wont do anything with this rand ill invoke protection, then galad goes and tells the guards because theres literally a false dragon being brought in and tension is on the rise in caemlyn and hes taken to see morgase.

the red ajah elaida is freaked out by him, knows hes taveren, has a bit of a prophecy but it doesnt really mean much and morgaise is all look, we cant just arrest everyone, let him go.

he then races back to the inn, moiraine and everyones there, they all hug, then hes all like oh yeah mats sick btw. moiraine goes up and mats not just sick hes now tainted. she does the best she can but is all like he needs to get to tar valon to have the bond between him and the dagger properly severed. then moiraine meets loial who randomly talks about an event concerning the eye of the world. perrins all oh yeah thats like the dead aiel girl the tinkers spoke about. that changes the plans once moiraine realises the dark ones trying to get to the eye and shes like we cant get to tar valon yet we gotta leave now. they use the ways which loail knows how to use cuz ogier and male aes sedai made them together centuries before but now the ways are tainted.

theyre like the worlds between the worlds, can get to places quicker but it has the black wind thatll kill you. blah blah blah they use the ways, nearly die, but get to fal dara/shienar, which is sort of where lan is from. nynaeve confesses her love, lans all no i cannot, i cannot offer anything. it ends up that his parents had the throne but his ... there was scheming. His uncles wife wrecked everything, she escaped with her baby into the blight, lans cousin, nobodys seen or heard of them, moiraine suspects isam might be alive but GASP keeps it from lan. the seven towers crumbled, lan has a death wish, he believes hes the only one left so must die.

lord agelmar wishes lan would rise up the banner of the golden crane because everything about the blight is crumbling, lans like no, i have a new oath now with moiraine. lord ingtar is a fight me soldier who fanboys after lan. theres a battle going on in tarwins gap they desperately need help for, but lan says he cant. lord agelmar orders ingtar to accompany them to the blight and leave them cuz moiraines like we cant have anyone else come with us.

Paidan fain by this point has rocked up to shienar and tried to wheedle his way into the good graces of lord agelmar but hes all wtf you look like a creeper and throws him in a cell. Moiraines like I need to question him at some point.

moiraine then takes them into the blight to find the green man who can take them to the eye of the world. the green man rocks up, hes made of vines and flowers, takes them to the eye. two forsaken rock up. moiraine tries to fight, is knocked out, nynaeve and lan get knocked out, the boys run. the green man is destroyed by the forsaken. rand ends up destroying the forsaken, goes into the eye, channels the male source in there, realises he can channel, has a fight with the dark one - whose still bound under the seals, but rand believes he ended the dark one and its done. comes out, the others are recovering. brings out an old banner from the eye thats the dragons banner, broken seals from the dark ones prison, and the horn of valere. moiraine is all, we need to take these to tar valon. rands all, you do that, but im done with aes sedai, im not going to tar valon. im done. the dark ones dead and im going to do my own thing. he turns to egwene who backs away from him when he said he channeled, then she bursts into tears and hugs him and says shes sorry.

they return to shienar, fal dara, where there was a miracle in tarwins gap where they believed they saw the creator and that the light took on flesh - they saw an apparition of a man they didnt know as rand fighting the battle he fought. ingtars flipping his shit because he missed the battle while accompanying them, and then not even being able to accompany them the entire way. After all of his talking about going after a week rand is still there, finishing his sword practice with Lan in Agelmar's private garden and meets up with Egwene. He tells her that he will go away. Egwene asks him to come to Tar Valon with her and Nynaeve, itll totes be fun, I mean theres the red ajah and shit wholl attack him if they know but hey itll be fun, but Rand refuses. He says he'll never channel again. When she asks him if he'll be going home, he tells her that he'll never go home.

Moiraine is underneath Agelmar's private garden. She uses her blue teardrop thing she wears on her forehead to focus her eavesdropping on Rand and Egwene. Using it to eavesdrop was the first use of the One Power she had learned as a young girl in the royal palaces of Cairhieren.

Smiling, she says, "The Prophecies will be fulfilled. The Dragon is Reborn."

the end.

[escapewriter]

part 22 - because of love

LIE AGAIN

pairing : idol!vernon x musician!female reader

word count : 1.3k

warnings : fluff🙂

a/n : i apologize if there are any grammar mistakes. also, im sorry if its bad😞 im not very good writing this way.

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vernon inhaled and exhaled slowly to calm down his beating heart. he knew she was out there, he knew she wasn’t expecting a lot, he knew that she would this he’s crazy for doing this stupid thing, and yet, his racing heart continued to beat into overdrive.

“you ready man?” wonwoo sat beside vernon, dressed and inears all set, “ready as ill ever be.” the two made their way to backstage by the sound equipment where the rest of the boys were. bringing all their hands together, connecting their thumbs, all of their heads turned to seungcheol, expecting a speech of encouragement. “okay, first show of the tour. lets start this off right,” he brought his voice lower so only the huddled group can hear him and not the staff scurrying around them, “wonwoo, vernon, we got your back, no matter what you do, make it up to them,” they looked at each other and smiled, returning their attention back to their leader, nodding their heads. “well then, lets make this memory last a lifetime, lets have each others backs and make carats proud,” seungcheol paused, taking a breathe, “say the name!” “seventeen!” the group unfolded, patting each others backs in hopes of easing the nerves for one another.

“okay! okay! 30 seconds! everyone to your places!”

~

yn and jiyeon sat back in their chair taking a break from all the singing and screaming as a vcr playing on the big screen. yn leaned her head on jiyeon, “they weren’t kidding when they said theyre good,” a laugh erupted from jiyeons chest until it slowly died down. “yn?” her friend hummed, hearing her call her name, “they haven’t been to our side at all, they probably dont know we’re here.” yn lifted her head off her friends shoulder, “oh well, maybe its for the best. the concerts coming close to an end anyway, you wanna leave early so we can avoid traffic? plus im not feeling very well.” jiyeon had a debate in her head and looked at yn, “we can always watch very nice on youtube, lets go.”

~

dino ran down the hallway, speeding towards the dressing room where the rest of his brothers were. he barged in, slouching over with one hand on the doorknob and one on his knee. the boys looked over towards their youngest, worry and confusion written in their eyes. seungcheol walked up to dino and softly gripped his shoulders, pushing him to stand up straight, “what’s wrong?” dino attempted to talk with his heavy breathing, “yn-, jiyeon-, ah, th-they uh, um they, oh my god i cant breathe can i have WATER?”

they brought him to the couch, refreshing him with a bottle of water. after a couple of gulps, he set the water down, “i just saw jiyeon and yn leave their seats.” the boy looked up at his older brothers, mainly in search of the two who wanted them here the most. wonwoo was slouched in the seat, looking down on his lap, vernon was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. seeing the distraught looks on their faces, mingyu immediately went to his phone, texting the two to stay a little longer.

~

“how the hell did they see us leave??” yn laughed a at jiyeon, who was holding her arm, “i guess they knew us so well. maybe we should just wait by the merch area and sit down so we dont have to walk all the way back.” jiyeon nodded her head and they made their way over to a bench and sat down. “how’s your stomach feeling?” yn had her hand over her tummy, softly rubbing it to sooth the pain, “could be better, maybe very nice being played a couple hundred times would make me feel better.”

the crowd began to scream as they heard the booming voice of dk. “MY CARATS, how are you doing tonight so far?” the fans screamed in response as all 13 of the boys smiled out into the crowd. seungcheol then spoke, causing more screams to erupt from the chests of thousands of girls. “well before we hit our final song of the night, theres a special announcement we have to make,” his voice faded as jiyeon and yn were left curious. “jiyeon, lets stand over there so we can try to see what it is.”

the two girls made their way to the curtain where it opens to the big arena. all 13 boys stood in a line while vernon and wonwoo stood in the middle of all of them while their bothers looked at them. the two stepped forward, carats screaming to get their attention. they waved for a bit and finally, vernon spoke, “hi guys, so wonwoo and i have something to confess.” the girls eyes were wide, fear for their soulmates running through their veins, “wonwoo and i found our soulmates. however, in fear of our company forces us apart, we thought we made the right decision by letting them go,” wonwoo stepped closer to vernon, continuing the speech, “obviously, it was a terrible idea because we’re dying inside. we thought it was for the best for us and for them, but nothing can break apart the power of ones soulmate connection.” they took a breath, the rest of their members coming up behind them to support them. vernon brought the mic up to his lips, “theyre here at the concert, or, they were here. she probably didnt know but i saw her, and i really hopes she knows that i saw her, and she looks beautiful,” aww’s broke out in the arena, echoing off the walls, bringing wide smiles onto vernon and wonwoo’s faces, as well as jiyeon’s and yn’s.

wonwoo took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself, “our company, pledis entertainment is one of the only companies who is against the soulmate system. they threaten their idols who find their soulmate, that if they dont break up with their soulmate, then they get kicked out of the company,” he turned to look at vernon, unable to continue and silently asking the younger to help, “the thought of that kinda scared us, which led us to do some impulsive things, but we’re risking it right now because of love.” “man that was cheesy,” laughter erupted at seungkwan’s comment and vernon rolled his eyes.

“anyway, you all know one of our songs on this album called lie again, right?” jiyeon looked at yn, eyes wide as she started jumping excitedly, “dude thats your song.” right on cue, vernon spoke, “that song, i didnt write it, and woozi didn’t either. its really special to me because my soulmate was the one who wrote it. it’s very beautiful and conveys a feeling in which i have felt the whole time i was away from her, so without any more delays, here’s lie again, dedicated to both,” he turned to wonwoo, “jiyeon,” “and yn.” the boys got into their positions as lie again began to play.

the two girls stood there hugging each other in awe, with love and warmth in their hearts. “you know, the song you wrote was perfect for them.” yn nodded her head at jiyeons comment. “you trust wonwoo?” “you trust vernon?” the two stared each other down and laughed, returning their attention back to the performance. they both had conflicted feelings about what happened, because they didnt want to be the cause of vernon or wonwoo doing something that they regret later. however the thought slipped out of their minds after finally making eye contact with their soulmates.

“damn jiyeon, we really are living the harry styles fan fiction right now.”

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[gloomyhearts]

Always by your side || Luke Patterson

Chapter eleven~ her special ability

2020

The raven haired boy arrived back at Julie’s house, more over in her room. His eyes dared to the blonde who tried to lift a frame from the dresser. The shaggy haired boy stood in front of the bookshelf, studying the pictures. Reggie himself lays down on her bed, fingers running over the fabric of her blanket.

A voice disturbed the silence, “what are you guys doing in my room?”

“Uh..”

“Um..” they stuttered, view wandering between each other.

Luke was the first to find words, “we were looking for the kitchen?”

“This..” she points toward the band, “this cant happen. Its creepy,” her eyes now glued on reggie, “get off my bed, please.”

Luke raises his arm, “hey Julie, whats in the box?”

“That’s off limits.”

“Oh. Oh okay,” he chuckles, “Girls stuff.”

Julie crosses her arms in front of her chest, anger reflects in her facial expression.

“Oh, like butterflies and glitter?”

“Oh, come on. I'm sorry about them,” Alex insists.

“It's none of your business. And yes, there might be some glitter,” she teased.

Alex holds the frame in his hands, spinning around to his friends, “hey!” he chuckles, “I actually picked something up,” when he finished the sentence the frame fell on her bed.

“I dropped it,” disappointed he looked down onto it.

“Is that your mom?”

“Yes, and it’s my favourite picture of us,” she emphasised the favourite, “you break it, I’ll break you.”

“Okay, well, sorry but we’re kinda unbreakable at this point,” Alex adds.

“I don’t get it. You guys can mess up my bed, pick up your instruments, but can’t pick up other stuff?

“I know, its hard. But for some reason, our instruments easy.”

“Yeah, like super easy. Oh and check out what I learned today,” in the next seconds his bass was in his hands, throwing him back in the beanbag.

“Yeah, that looked super easy.”

“Can I ask you guys something?” they nodded. “You told me about your sister, right? Is she a ghost too? Did you saw her? Can she do it too?”

“Well.. this one.. this one time she.. she told me she was surfing and people could see her, she could talk to them like we do and she kinda lost her mind.”

“You never told it!”

“Yeah, maybe cause you’d freak on the fact she’d leave this dark room.”

“She what?”

“Yes, she left it during the day to avoid you and at night she came back and talked to me and Luke.”

“This means, every time I thought she'd visited my dreams again to talk to me, she actually spoke with me?!”

“I remember she said something like that earlier.”

“Earlier?” His friends asked in sync.

“Well yeah you know how she can feel my mood? So do I and I felt it earlier so I searched for her and we talked,” he shrugged his shoulder as if it would be the casual thing in the world.

“Did you wanted to inform us about it?” Alex questions running his hand through his hair.

“I don’t know, if she came up in our conversation maybe..”

Their little argumentation was disturbed by a knocking on the door and Julie’s dad sticking his head in the door, “everything okay?”

“Yeah. Im fine.” Luke let go of Alex’s hand, he had clutched against his chest.

“Okay. I thought I heard you talking to someone.”

“Nope. Must’ve been my laptop.. that I just closed.”

“Okay, if you need anything..” he points to the door.

“Yeah. Thanks.” This was his clue to leave, he closed the door and the attention of the girl was abruptly on the raven haired boy.

“Your dad seems like the kind of guy who likes to barbecue. I bet he has a great ribs recipe.”

“I don’t know. But if you guys wanna talk to me, we have to do it in the studio. He’s worried about me enough as it is.”

“He seems chill. You should just tell him about us,” luke suggests.

“You’re kidding right?” she sighs, “the past year, everyones been watching over me, being super nice, as if theyre waiting for me to snap. If I tell my dad I met a ghost band, I’ll be back to talking to Dr. Turner three days a week.”

“You probably shouldn’t tell him.”

“Julie…”

“Oh my gosh! I told you to leave it alone!”

“I know. You shouldn’t have said nothing cause now I cant stop thinking about it, so.. Whats in the box Julie?”

“It’s just my dream box, okay? Whenever I get a thought, I write it down and get it out of my mind.”

“Like lyrics?” His body shifts so he faced Alex, they both knew exactly what the other was thinking; this was like Sabrina’s green book, every little thing which crossed her mind was written down in it.

‘Where is it now? I had it in my bag at the Orpheum, I couldn’t just lose it right?’

“They would be if I still wrote music like I used to with my mom. Now it’s full of stuff that doesn’t make me sad.”

“But, I mean, you do play. We heard you this morning,” Alex raised from his seat stepping closer to her.

“In the garage?” Luke hits alex upper arm, brows knitted.

“So you were there too?”

“Uh.. I don’t…” his voice a pinched ton.

“uh he was, like..,” Reggie's voice on the same level.

“We were..”

“Somewhere.”

“So, where is you kitchen, by the way,” the shaggy haired tried to distract her. He rested his head in his palm as he laid on her bed, also with puppy eyes.

“Okay, we need to set some boundaries,” she bend down to his level, “for starters, stay out of my room!”

“Mm-hmm. Cristal clear. Let’s go.”

“We're leaving,” they made their way over to the door.

“Yes, ma’am! We’re out of here.”

Moments later Alex’s head was in the room again, “hey. Um, sorry I didn’t mean to bother you. Did you get back into your music program?”

“No.. no I didn’t.”

“I’m sorry. That really sucks,”

“thanks.” His eyes wanders around the room and silence felt over the pair.

“is that it?”

“Yeah. Yeah, this is getting weird,” she waves at him and he leaves her alone.

The band was back in the studio sitting spread across the room. Reggie tugs on his bass, Alex head rests on the drum, Luke’s eyes glued to the roof.

“You know guys, I really miss her,” the shaggy haired boy whined, “but I can't forgive her, not after all those years. I mean she ignored me twenty-five years, like.. wait she’s stubborn she can and will if she wants. But I thought…”

“Shut up, talk to her or leave it,” Alex exhales.

“that’s the point, where is she, what should I say, whats her response.”

“You’ll never know if you don’t do it.”

There was a knock on the studio door and through the window were some blonde strands visible which floaded in the wind.

Reggie sat up, his eyes laid on the door, “should we open the door? Is that her?”

“Come in!”

Sabrina poofed herself into the room but was still in a good distance to the boy.

“I shouldn’t be here, I know but.. I.. mm..”

Alex was fast on his feet, embracing her fragile body, although they weren’t alive anymore they both still had their special scent which felt like home for each other.

“I was an ass, Will. And I should have listened to you but I was so heated that you didn’t told that we were dead for twenty-five years.”

Their little moment was interrupted by the guitarist who taped Alex’s shouler letting him know they weren’t alone.

“Brina. I was so selfish and full of anger. I .. I really missed you and your voice. I’m sounding like Alex but I’d probably should had listen to you and your point of view.”

“Yeah right. It’s.. never mind. I should get going.”

“No Will stay.”

“Right, we have to introduce you somebody.”

“It’s this Julie, right? Yeah, she’s impressive, you should probably play with her, push her and all this,” Sabrina shruggs her shoulders and Reggie locked his eyes with her, a brow raised; he felt it and she knew it.

Luke’s eyes lit up as she mentioned her voice, “yeah she is stunning,” the grief in her grew and Reggie’s eyes widened. Alex looks between the two, seeing her eyes are welling up.

“Do you mind if I talk with Will in private?”

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing.”

“That’s bullshit. Talk to me Sabrina.”

“It’s just, y’all hate me and I understand but you have to understand me too. And now with this girl, I’m losing you and Luke, the way he looks at her…”

“How would you even know?”

“This morning when she sang, I was there, I saw you, her, everyone. And… and I really wanted to hug you, talk to you but I couldn’t.“

“But I didn’t saw you?”

“Well yesterday I saw the three of you at the orpheum, you even passed me as well as this tall man in smoking and black coat. He bumped your shoulder but went straight through me, it drove me crazy so I wanted to speak to you and I knew where I would find you so I came here. First, I.. I was in the garage as well but then you three poofed in and I left, then y’all were outside as well and your eyes laid on me so I thought you saw me.”

“But I didn’t.. but then suddenly you were.”

“I was, the whole time.”

“How’s that possible? Are you superman?”

“I don’t know but we’d try if people see me without surfing if I want to. I mean not Julie cause she can see you without you playing your instruments.”

“Her friend Flynn, she can't we should do it...”

[odogaronfang]

okay here it is!!! the long-awaited (not really) masterpost of hc’s about the background characters!!!

@105ttt and i have been working on this stuff for a couple weeks now and i’ve finally got around to making it into something shareable!! and i’m excited because now this means i get to use them in fics without people being completely lost!!!!

anyway this post is long so i’m gonna put it under a readmore-

Leonel

-link’s father

-captain of the guard & keeper of the wind key

-close friends with artura and valensuela since childhood

-because of the circumstances, he’s very well-read on the various legends/stories of the past heroes

-is a stand-in father for zelda sometimes because of how close she and his son(s) are

-constantly worried about his kids (sometimes because of the trouble they’ve been in, sometimes because of the trouble they cause)

-definitely the ‘cool manager’ type of captain- does what he needs to in order to run an efficient guard, but he’s also good friends with all of them

-there are days where he wants to take his kids out to town for a family day and there are days where he wants to throw them all out a window

Artura

-the captain’s top knight

-friends with leonel since childhood; they weren’t in the same battalion until they became full knights but leonel would cut sessions to go train with his group

-specialized in heavy armored combat, proficient in several kinds of weaponry but mostly uses bludgeoning weapons

-the backup dad for vio when leonel is busy because hylia knows vio needs constant supervision

-the embodiment of the gentle giant trope- does a lot of favors for people and the castle town kids ADORE him

-always busy + always tired. give artura his vacation days please

-he has a special room in the castle he goes to when he needs alone time and doesn’t want to be bothered. vio is allowed in but only grudgingly and only if he’s maintained at least one (1) week of decent behavior

-works a lot with younger trainees (mostly around link’s age); has a lot of instructional tasks on top of his regular patrol duties

-he doesn’t take off his armor in public a lot, so most people haven’t seen him out of it. there’s a joke among the younger groups that artura isn’t actually a person but rather a darknut or one of the phantom knights animated by the royal family’s magic. (actually it’s just because he’s secretly a twink and he doesn’t want people knowing that Mr. Top Knight/Mr. Living Darknut couldn’t hit 160lbs if he was soaking wet.)

Valensuela

-keeper of the water key

-close friends with leonel since childhood; was in the same trainee battalion as him

-trained for armored combat but dislikes wearing heavy plate- if he wears a lot of armor, it’s usually maille

-can dual-wield, but usually opts for one larger sword instead of two smaller ones

-basically adopts green after the pyramid incident. just steals him from leonel. green is his son now. green accidentally calls valensuela ‘dad’ once and leonel’s parentship of green ends right there.

-appears very dignified and serious but actually has a flair for the theatrical. most people are not aware of this but his friends know.

-leonel’s second-in-command, but he’s far more task-oriented and doesn’t deal with people as well as leonel does. he can come across as a little brusque with people he isn’t familiar with so he tries not to take that role if he doesn’t have to.

-not a personality headcanon but he has a scar on his forehead from when green shattered his helmet in the pyramid. and after he’s overcome the trauma that came with that whole ordeal, he definitely brags about it. someone asks what happened to him for him to have a scar like that and he’s like “oh my son did that isn’t he talented?”

Lucien

-keeper of the fire key

-so chill. extremely laid-back guy. the kind of guy you go to hang out with when you want to do something social but you don’t want to leave your house (or even your couch).

-kinda lazy when it comes to little mundane tasks, which he caught a lot of flak for while he was still in training, but wholeheartedly dedicated to his job when it comes down to it.

-basically adopts red. they’re like best buds. red makes lucien carry him around on his shoulders so he doesn’t have to walk but lucien doesn’t mind.

-absolutely the kind of person to disappear for an entire day and when you find him again and ask him where he went he says he was in the living room the whole time

-very good at cooking, but only the really time-consuming, complicated recipes, which goes directly against his low-effort nature. he rarely cooks, but everyone looks forward to the days that he does.

-also the kind of person to “work out” by doing one push up every five minutes. the second he hears someone approaching he’ll stay in mid-push-up position and when they walk in he’ll say “one thousand”. (he only actually made it to nine.)

-if he isn’t in armor he’s in sweats. “dress more professionally” the captain says to him one day. he shows up to breakfast the next morning wearing sweats again, but this time he also has a tie on.

-the tallest of the group, which artura makes fun of (it’s all in good fun. he just makes fun of artura for being so small.)

Wes

-keeper of the earth key

-the high-energy go-getter of the group. his energy alone balances out the chronically low-key natures of artura and lucien. basically an eternal child at heart.

-ALWAYS ready to throw down. it isn’t even that he has anger issues, he just needs a way to get rid of his restless energy while also triumphing in his various conflicts, and to him, fighting (within the controlled setting of a spar) is the easiest way to do that.

-one of those people that has to be physically restrained from doing dumb things. “hey i bet i could land in the hot spring if i jumped from the third story balcony” “wes you will break all of the bones in your lower body” “and??”

-also the guy in the group that’s constantly making bets and daring people to do things. he violates the sanctity of the triple dog dare by using it literally every time. he is also eerily good at predicting the correct outcome of bets.

-learns little things like sleight-of-hand tricks just to fudge them at the end; he’ll keep a group of little kids enamored with the “magic” before asking if they want to see the finale where he makes the cards disappear. the kids say yes and he just hurls the entire deck into a nearby bush. “there,” he says with pride as he walks away, “they’re gone.” (he would never actually upset the kids. if they look too disappointed he’ll sigh and go get the cards and do an actual disappearing trick just to make them better.)

-definitely takes blue under his wing. they spar like every morning. the other links might try to go on kitchen raids without their parents’/mentors’ knowing but blue goes WITH wes to go steal the best-looking cookies fresh off the baking sheet. arcy always gives wes grief for enabling that behavior but wes knows she won’t actually do anything about it

Selenas

-another of the captain’s high-ranking knights

-the exasperated lawful good of the group. he tries so hard to get the rest of them to follow the rules but it never works. he knows there’s no point to the efforts anymore but he still tries.

-the constant sigh-er of the group. you’d think he had respiratory issues if you didn’t know him.

-is tasked with helping to keep shadow in line because of his lawful good status. he’s the strict parent who insists upon balanced meals with a lot of vegetables and who believes in a strict 8pm bedtime. he will not hesitate to confiscate shadow’s laptop if he’s misbehaving. shadow despises him but he’s doing all of hyrule a great favor.

-doesn’t safeguard a royal jewel so he’s kind of an outlier but it’s fine, everything’s fine, he doesn’t need a jewel to prove that he’s a good knight and no, he isn’t envious, no not even a tiny bit, why would anyone ask that,

-prefers long-reach weapons like pikes and halberds over swords/daggers

[all of the above-mentioned knights are collectively referred to as the cape squad by the links]

Arcy

-one of the castle chefs

-an ex-knight; had barely made it into full knighthood before receiving a career-ending injury

-decided to continue work at the castle as a chef so she could still be around friends + to provide for her daughter

-was in the same trainee battalion as artura for armored combat, so they’re old friends

-her daughter is adopted; keina is the biological daughter of a late friend of arcy’s who died from birth complications

-is actually still technically in reserve for the guard; in a state of emergency she’s tasked with aiding evacuation efforts

-she’s the most popular chef among the knights because she takes requests. there’s a weekly competition among battalions and the winning one gets to choose the weekend meals that she makes. it’s a good motivator, especially for the ones in training, and it also gets her friends in high places (:

Keina

(see above images)

-arcy’s adopted daughter

-she’s very sickly; she’s never gone beyond the gates of castle town and barely even leaves the castle grounds. the only time she’s been beyond castle town was when she fled the castle with arcy, and she was in extremely poor health the entire time.

-she’s friends with the links + erune; they’ll often visit her and bring her things from other towns (or in erune’s case, her hometown) so she can still experience new things

-has a lot of pen pals all over hyrule since she can’t leave her home to go see people- she gets like two dozen letters a week and it helps keep her busy

-very knowledgeable on a lot of different subjects! because she’s often home- and sometimes even bed-bound, she spends a lot of time reading and writing and will sometimes illustrate as well. she’d like to be some kind of professional scholar so she can still contribute even when her health prevents her from travel.

[noxitic-blog]

Foundation

Some langst i thought up of

•Lance is jealous that Keith has Shiro , Pidge has Hunk , Coran has allura . He felt left out and unfit for the group . He truly left like a 7th wheel .

•Lance is still insecure and never had reassurance , so he thought it would be best to just leave and go back to earth .

•he thinks leaving would be the option since allura had taken over the blue lion . Plus he would be able to see his family again . (Though he doesnt really want to leave because the palladins are also his family)

•he decides to pack at night and he goes up To blue to say goodbye and tells her she will always be his lion and he goes to red and thanks her for accepting him and his voice starts to crack and ends up crying and he says take care of keith cause he can be hot headed

 •He went inside his space pod and took one last sigh and remembered all the times he had with his friends . How he looked up to Shiro , How he will miss his bestfriends cooking , being a brother figure to Pidge while still looking for matt , becoming good friends with allura , seeing coran as his uncle and lastly , how now overcame the rival stage with keith and became close friends with him .

• He hesistates for a moment , but continues anyway . His last words were “ I know you guys can do it . Goodluck on defending the universe" and rides off into space .  

 •Next morning  , they were to report to a meeting to discuss their next attack on lotor . Once all of them was there , they questioned the absence of Lance . They probably thought he overslept or totally forgot about the meeting , so they decided to go to his room .  They knock on his door , but he there was no answer , so they all went inside . They looked around and he was no where to he found , but they saw a paper on his bed that says . “Im sorry I couldnt tell you any of this , but I left to go back to earth . I miss my family . I- I really appreciate the time we all had together and defending the universe with you guys” . P.S , Allura , take care of blue for me .  

 • 3 days has passed , Lance not knowing where he is , not knowing how many light years he is  from earth . The silence of the space pod , was uncomfortable for him . He enjoyed hearing the laughter and the voices from his friends , feeling a tear form in his eyes he tells himself , “its okay , its okay he wipes his tears and says

• “dont regret any of this . Theyre better off without me ”

 •His space pod is running out of fuel and hes also running out of supplies to eat . He had no option , but to go to the closest planet . Strangely enough it was the balmera planet . 

 •He landed safely in the balmera planet , he looked around to see the planet was lively and safe . He was shocked when he heard a girl say “hey , arent you hunks friend?” He turned around to see shay . 

, he remembered her when they were fighting and protecting the balmera from getting destroyed . Also , Hunk wouldnt stop talking about her and how grateful he was to have met her . The boy was totally inlove with her . He smiled as memories flood in of him and hunk in the kitchen , while hunk was preparing to make a special meal , Lance was just sitting ,  staring at his bestfriend prepare the meal while , he talked about the love of life . He was talking about how Shay was a very nice person and hunk had such a soft look on his face while talking about her . and Lance just smiled at his bestfriend , glad that hes found someone he was fond of . He also questions if he , himself wil also find someone he can talk about so proudly and fondly of . Then Lance , remembered how Allura and Keith were getting closer and how bothered he was by it . 

“I hate his stupid mullet so much “ Hunk turned around and gave Lance a weird look . “Are you talking about Keith ?” Lance nodded , it was him alright his rival per say , although they were getting closer to one  another so we had no say of where their relationship stand was at the moment . 

Hunk asked “do you actually hate him? “ Lance looked at Hunk weirdly , he was caught off guard with the question . Honestly , he never did , he never hated the guy . not at all . its quite the opposite , he respected him a lot due to his abilities  , he was envious of him . he would never say this to Keiths face , but hes axtually glad to be his rival . His thoughts were interupted when Shay was waving a hand in front of him , asking him if hes alright . 

“O-ohh What was that ? ,  sorry I was thinking about something” Lance sighed , hunk would be so jealous of him right now , he’d been dying to see Shay . Shay looked at lance with concern , but with a tint of curiosity , “Are the other palladins with you ? “ Shay was looking at Lance for an answer , Lance just looked at her , sweat dropped down his forehead . how was he going to explain all of this to her ? . 

“Oo-oh no just me and my handsome self ✨” Lance tried to hide the the overcoming feeling of  sadness and guilt with a smile . Shay noticed this a bit , but decided to nodd it off . “Oh I see , so what brings you here palladin?” . Lance was stuck in a turmoil , should he tell her ? Should he tell her hes just visiting ? It wouldnt be bad to tell her right? She had no way to contact Hunk so he wouldnt know and they wouldnt come looking for him . He needed to leave fast . 

“Why would he leave us ? “ Hunk slid back on the couch , looking up at the ceiling , worried about what happened to his bestfriend , if hes okay , if the galrans captured him . A lot of negative thoughts circled his mind. He knew his bestie wouldnt just up and leave . He knew something was wrong . “well he did say in the letter , he missed his family , so thats what motivated him to leave “ Pidge replied as she was typing on her computer trying to get coordinates of Lotors where abouts .  “I know that , but I think theres more to this than what we see “ Shiro replied as he walked back and forth across the room trying to think of ways to get a hold of Lance , also worried about his safety . Keith was silent throughout this , but his mind is jumbled of thoughts that occurred during the bedroom scene . Now recalling it , Lance did go to him , saying he would step down since he wasnt needed . They were getting closer or so he thought . Everytime he was getting closer to Lance , Lance goes farther away and Keithwas now angry . Lance didnt tell him anything about leaving . His head hurt . Did lance think he was useless to the team? Did he feel inferior ? His train of thoughts were interrupted when Hunk shot up from his slouch position , and screamed “ We have to go find him” everybody looked at Hunk , they knew he was serious . He was , Lances bestfriend afterall . 

“But Lotor can be roaming around and we need to find him . We dont have time to look for Lance” Keith lashed out . Keith now regretting what he said , he was angry at Lance for leaving the group . . Just leaving a piece of letter behind and went on with his life . What about his duty as a palladin? He thought Lance was being selfish . His own selfishness will cause the group to be in disaray . He looked at Hunk and saw a painful look on Hunks face  . Hunk sighed and replied . &ldquo ,no one stopped you when you tried to look for your brother (Shiro) , but you cant stop me when im looking for my bestfriend . If you guys arent coming with me , im going alone “ Hunk was determined to find Lance . He knew something was wrong , he knew Lance enough to know when he did something irrational , it was due to his inner turmoil . All that said he needed to go look for him . 

“Um my space pod kind of ran out of gas , but Ill just stay here for a bit to rest and look for some supplies , if thats alright with you guys?“ nbsp;“ Lance looked at Shay for an answer just responded  “"oh okay , please come, youre more than welcome , meet the other balmerians , we will be happy to help , since you saved us “ Lance was happy Shay was here . She was a calming person to be around , and also glad that theyre giving him hospitality . Also , he was all alone to a kind of new enviornment so , he wasnt fully relaxed yet . 

Keith looked at Hunk and wanted to apologize  , but was already walking away .  Keith got up to catch up to Hunk , only to for the both of them to be stopped by Allura . “You guys just , please lets all calm down and talk this through , I know we are all sad about Lance , but we need to make a plan before actually going out to look for him ”

They both stopped in their tracks , surprised that Allura isnt going to tell them that we need to move on , just like she did with Shiro , but to come up with a plan to help look for him .

“I dont want him to end up alone , hurt and discomfort . I dont want him to go through what Shiro went through , so lets take precautions .” They all looked at Allura and smiled . Shiro went through a lot and went through more . She didnt want the same thing happening to Lance . She became good friends with Lance and she didnt want this friendship to tarnish . Moving on didnt help Shiro and the team . It made them mature yes , but the wound was still there .

Hunk started to walk back and Keith stopped him and apologized “Hunk , look , im sorry , I - it came out wrong and I didnt mean to say it that way ” Hunk also apologized for acting irrational “its okay buddy , and im sorry to , I just , I just worried about him . They gave each other weak smiles and walked back to the couch .

“Iv never seen Hunk so serious before , nice job keef ” Keith was about to retort , but only gave her a look . He wanted to keep his tempure on check , since backlashing isnt going to help anything . She snorted  and continued to look up at her computer screen . she stopped looking for Lotors coordinates , but instead was looking for a way to locate Lances location . This was harder than she thought since they had no knowledge of what kind of Pod Lance used . Pidge didnt want to show that she was concerned about Lance , but in reality she really was . She was like his brother and now for him to walk out of her life like that felt like Matt was leaving her all over again . It hurted her . She didnt want to experience the pain all over again .

Shay led Lance to were a bunch of balmerans were . It looked to be a gathering of some sort . “Here lance have some food ” Lance took the food and gave it a weird look , questioning what it was , why did it look so pink and gooey , but Lance had no choice , since his stomach was practicaly screaming to be full .

“Lets do a little introduction , heres my family , thats my brother Rax , my grandmother Rena  , my father rox  , and my grandmmother Rilla” Lance bowed and pointed his gun fingers at them and greeted them . “Hey there the names , Lancey Lance , but you can call me handsome ✨” they all looked at him and gave a nervous laugh and sweat dropped. They didnt know how to react to such a behavor . Rena walked up to Lance and gently grabbed his arm , “youre more than welcome to be here , after saving us from such tragic . ” her smile was warm and big . Lance felt a gush of happiness , she reminded him of his Abuelita from back home . Her sweet singing , her good cooking , he- all of sudden tears start streaming from his eyes . 

He really missed his mother  hugs , his grandmothers hugs , the rain , the verardo beach , his little cousins , but he also missed playing on Pidges computer and using her headphones to listen to music , watching Hunk cook and charting with him about everything , training with Shiro , having small talks with Allura , helping coran clean the healing pods and Keith , he missed Keith , and His stupid mullet , he misses bickering with him . Everything was crashing down on him . He was so tired . He hated the feeling of not being of use to the team , he hated feeling like a hindurance to the team . Tired . Tired of everything . Tired of being away from both of his homes at the same time . His home at the castle of lions and his home art earth . Rena took Lances arm and asked if he was alright , Lance looked at her and he couldnt do it anymore , he hugged Rena , and poured out his heart . “Im so sorry” his voice cracked “im so selfish , im not a good friend , i-i Im so useless I hate mysel-” Rena hushed him and held him in her arms . Lance held on to Rena , he could feel his legs give out . They both fell on the floor , Lance still clutching onto Rena. Rena told the other balmerans to leave them be , except Shay . 

Shay looking sympathetically towards Lance , wishing she could help him anyway possible . She wished Hunk was here to also help him . She sar next to Lance and Rena . The tears wouldnt stop , he wanted to go home , but he didnt know which home . With the palladins or with his earth family . A fee moments later Lance fell in a slumber sleep . Shay ruffled Lances hair and wiped tears away , she looked at Grandma Rena and asked , “Do you think Lance will be okay? ” Rena looked at Lance , she thought that poor guy looked like he was having a hard time with himself , but he looked a bit relaxed in his sleep . “Yeah he will be fine . He just needs time . “ 

 Pidge pulled up a map of the galaxy “Okay so Lance shouldnt be that far from us , his space pod should only get him a atleast 2 if not three planets away from us ” Allura inserted , ” there are three possible planets that he went to since hes ran out of gas . First planet is Robus X , Ubio and lastly the Balmera Planet . . Hunk walked up to the map and closely looked up at the three planets . He examined them one by one . Robus X and Ubio was out of the list , he looked at the balmeran planet , he has a hunch he might be there . “you guys , I feel like Lance would be in the Balmera planet” Pidge looked at Hunk and grinned . Pidge went up to Hunk and lightly poked his stomach and teased him “ you just want to see your girlfriend ” . Allura , Shiro and Keith and Coran just looked at each other and shrugged . “No-no you guys , im being serious , I have a feeling hes there ” They all looked at him and remembered how Hunks hunches were somewhat accurate . And everybody decided they would put faith in Hunks hunch . Shiro walked up to Hunk and placed his hand on his shoulders and smiled at him . “ Okay Coran and Allura , lets go to the Balmera Planet “ Coran and Allura got into their position and opened up a black hole in front of them . A black hole that goes right into the Balmeran Planet .In everybodies head , they hope Hunk is right and that he is there and safe . 

 Opening his eyes was harder than he thought . He felt like his eyes were shut with glue . He was laying down on the floor a rock as a pillow , but somehow it felt really soft . Shay saw Lance shuffle on his sleep , and shook his shoulders a bit . “H-hey youre awake now , are you alright?” Lance looked up to see Shay , Smiling, but her eyes seemed so concerned about him . Lance got up and looked around the room to look for Rena . “Hey , im alright , thanks shay , by the way , wheres Rena?” Shay got up and grabbed a Cloth and put a bit if water on it and handed it to Lance . “Shes making us food at the moment , I wanted to help , but I wanted to tend to you ” Lance smiled and grabbed the cloth and wiped his face with it . He probably looks terrible from all that crying and sniffing . “Food is ready , im glad youre awake Lance ” Shay got up and helped Rena set up the table and food .  

Lance felt so bad , he felt like hes been taking advantage of them , first he comes uninvited to their planet and take their supplies to embark on his journey to earth , where he literally has no idea which way it is, next He showed him how weak he was by crying infront of them and now he is being fed .This is too much . He is always recieving , but never giving back . He Couldnt stay here any longer , he needed to leave . He didnt want to inconvinence them any longer so Lance has decided . “Hey Rena and Shay thanks for everything , but youve done enough , I cant take anymore from you guys , thank you. I really need to get going Ladies” Lance gets up to leave only to be stopped by Rena 

. “Please stay to eat , you need it ” He looked at Shay and Rena , eyes were pleading to stay with them , he was about to retort , but he sighed and gave in . Theyre too nice of a person to say no to . All of three started to walk towards the table and pick at their food . Lance looked at his food and back at both Shay and Rena . He was truly , thankful , for these two. They also reminded him of his sister and his grandma . Rena noticed Lance staring at her and smiled , “ Something the matter ? ” Lance looked away still a smile on his lips and tells them of how the three of them eating reminded him of his sister and grandma. “Ahh , I see , why dont you tell us more about your earth family ? ” Shay asked excitedly . 

Lance realized he has only known these two for only in a short amount of time , but he didnt hesitate to tell them at all . It felt natural to tell them , natural to talk to them . Hes about to tell them his life story . Not that he wouldnt mind , its just that , it felt like hes been knowing them forever , Thats a good sign . Or a weak sign because he trusts too easily , but he knows deep in his heart , these people are too be trusted . “W-well , I have a big family at home . I have 3 little cousins , 2 brothers and 2 sisters , Im the oldest one and of course my grandma , my mother and my dad . ” Lance smiled as he remembers his hometown and his friends and his favorite beach in the world . The verardo beach . “Our family would always go to the beach , even when its cold . We are commitsd to Tuesday Beach Day . Lance laughed and continued ” I always look after my brothers and sisters at home while my parents where away from work. My mom is has a resturant and my dad helps with the cooking . Also , My mother gives the best hugs!!“ Lance remembers during his birthdays , his other siblings birthdays , relatives birthday , or any holiday . There would always be a lot of food . And a lot of people would come over friends and family . It would get crazy and loud , but fun. “My grandma , she also gives the best hugs , I cant say whose hugs i like more , but theyre both the best ” Lance paused to eat some of his food and continued “ My three cousins , are a big pain in the butt to take care of . Seriously they run around all over the place ! . One time they tied me up and put my hair in a pony tail !” Rena and Shay in unison laughed , Rena thought . Lance had such a vibrant and all around fun family . Of course , there will always be discourse here and there , but would it really be a family if there wasnt ? Rena stopped laughing and wiped the tear from her eyes “Your family must be really fun to be with , truly they do love and miss you .” Lance smiled turned into a frown he thought “ love and miss me huh? , I wonder if they do , I wonder if theyre looking for me and or even remotly remember me at all” lances train of thought interrupted when Rena asked

 ” so , what about your palladin family?“ Lance looked up to Rena and hesistated to answer for a sec , but proceeded . "W-well , um theres 7 of us . 2 beautiful ladies , Allura , shes really smart and shes an altean princess and super strong , youve met her before . Theres Pidge , shes a gremlin ,but shes my little sister kinda , shes tech savy and really smart . Theres Coran , hes like my uncle , he makes me help him clean the healing pods , I really found it boring at first , but now I have fun cleaning it with him since he now puts music . Theres Shiro , hes the man I look up to the most , hes a great leader and I aspire to be like him one day . Also , hunk , my best bud , my man , been knwoing that guy ever since , super humble , hes really smart and handsome . Anyone would be lucky enough to be his girlfriend. Lance glanced over at Shay and Shay looked away with tinted pink cheeks . He couldnt wait for Shay and Hunk to actually be together . They would give Lance cavity . Lance laughed , and continued . Last , but not least , ugh mullet guy . “This guy , him and his stupid mullet . I mean hes not a bad guy , but he ignored me when we went to garrisons together , but then he gets mad over me not remembering our “bonding moment” , and now he became my rival , well , not really anymore I think . Lance puts his spoon down and puts his hand under his chin and raised his eyebrows “ I mean , well . I dont think hes my rival anymore , I guess were friends now ? I mean , Hes a cool guy flying into asteroids and cool junk like that. So ,I dont hate him that much , well I dont hate him , I dont think I ever hated him . I guess I want to he friends with him , but I dont know , I think he hates m- Lance stopped when the room filled with Laughter from both Shay and Rena 

. "I think you like this guy , I think youre mixing your feelings with hate and like and rivalry ” Lance looked at them with an unamused face with a tint of blush on his cheeks . “Who would like him? Anyway , I mean ” Lance remembers their bonding moment , (vividly) , when they held hands , when keith gave him the softest smile when he saved up from a flying sword , Keith smiling fondly at him when he made a joke about being the sharpshooter . Their backs touching one another when they were stuck on the elevator. Lances face was now a full on tomato, he turned to look away from the two of them. This is so embarrassing . “Stupid brain , stop THINKING ABOUT HIM , HIS MULLET , HIS FACE, HIS LIPS , WHY WOULD I LIKE HIM WE ALWAYS BICKER , HE HATES ME , BUT WE PROTECT EACH OTHER FROM HARM , I MEAN THATS WHAT EVERY COUPLE DO RIGHT?!?! WAIT WHY AM I COMPARING US TO A COUPLE? gaah STUPID BRAIN  

"You have an amazing family Lance ” Lance now calm , looked at his plate and back at Rena . “yeah , theyre the best . I miss them ” Lance grabbed a spoonful and continued to eat . “ Why are you trying to leave your family? ”

as he was about to eat his food , he paused midair and slowly put the spoon down . “W-well , its , just that I feel that Im not good enough to be on the voltron team” Rena and Shay concerned about him. “so this is what was bothering the kid?” Rena thought . Both her and Shay got up from their seats and hugged Lance . Rena and Shay ruffled his brown hair . “Lancey , my boy , Sometimes the world feels like its against us , sometimes its not the world , its our ourselves that we are fighting ” Lance listened contently . Shay continue “you know , Lance , when I have a problem , usually I can fix it myself , but if Im not able to . I have my friends and family . If they have a problem , I would also give them a helping hand because thats what friends and family do . You dont have to always shoulder your burdens , you have plenty of shoulders to lean on . If you dont have a shoulder to lean on you can have arms ” Both Rena and Shay wrap their arms around his shoulders . 

 "A strong foundation that can keep you up from falling down” Lance was shocked , he never felt so much love in this while , he starts to grab both of their arms and hug them . Tears streaming down his facewhile continuously saying “thank you guys so much ”. This moment , was a moment Lance , will truly forever cherish . He was so grateful to have met these two . It felt like he had just made another family , He showed them his beautiful and darkside and they embraced it . They embraced him . They accepted him and helped him even when he was just a stranger who just landed on their planet for resources . Their hospitality and love that was graced upon him and honestly he felt like he didnt deserve it ,but accepted it whole heartedly . Rena and Shay felt happy for Lance to be able to pour out his feelings , though they werent sure , if his self doubts would continue , but he would know now himself that people care about him . All three of them crying and hugging each other was interrupted when they heard a loud sound coming from outside . All of them , looked at each other , wipping each others tears and looked outside to see what was all the commotion 

. Lance shocked to see the ship , he also questioned how they were able to track him down , but then he remembered they had Hunk and In the team , so it wasnt that impossible to do so . But He was now feeling guilty and selfish and useless all over again . He now burdened the team more by making them waste their time trying to locate him , when instead should be focusing on locating Lotor and find out about his plans . Everyone gathered to see a small space pod landing . The door opened , Revealing the palladins and the princess . Shay looked over and saw Hunk , she was quite nervous , but happy so see him . Shay started to run towards the crowd and waved at Hunk . They both run towards each other and hug one another . 

  Hunk was now blushing furiously , unable to speak the words he wanted to speak “ H-hey Shay ! Lon-ng time no see ! ” Shay laughed at his stuttering and smiled at him , “ its good to see you again” The palladins caught up to hunk and shay . Shay saw the others coming up behind Hunk . Shay walked up to allura and greeted her . “ Princess Allura and palladins its good to see you guys again , how can he help you?” “Our friend has gone missing and we were wondering if you had seen him? ” Keith nervously looking around and hoping to see Lance , but there was no sign of him at all . Maybe he wasnt in this planet , maybe they were wasting all this time that he was at another planet . Wasting time when they could help him he was out there stranded or wounded “Are you refering to Lance? ” Keiths train of thoughts stopped as he heard  Lances name . He was here? Where is he ? Keith started to look around at the people . 

 Rena and Lance looked at the crowd gathering around the palladins . Lance was super anxious to approach them , he had no way out now . He needed to apologize to them for burdening them . Rena looked up at Lance and placed a hand behind his back. And looked back at the crowd . “you dont have to yet go my son , but I know youre itching to see them again” Rena turned to Lance again finding him in a turmoil . Lance didnt have a choice , they were already here so might as well go with him and explain to them whats happening with him . Talking to Rena and Shay really helped and cleared his mind a bit . Lance hugged Rena “ Granny Rena , thank you for everything” and walked off to see the palladins . He was nervous , what if they kill him?well thats not really possible . But what if they hate him now? What if theyre just here so they could tell him theyre glad to leave him behind ? Either way he/ prepared with anything theyre going to say towards him .

 "Hes here? Allura asked and Shay nodded . Every one was shocked and happy to find out that hes landed here . Hunk sighed in relief and questioned “so where is- “Im here” Lance answered he had his other hand on his neck . Rubbing it back and fourth and the other hand on his pocket trying to look for something to pick at . 

Everyone turned and looked at Lance , they saw that he had red puffy eyes , ragged clothes and looked like he hasnt been eating or sleeping in months . Pidge , Allura , Coran and Hunk start to run towards him and hug him tightly . Lance wasnt expecting that at all . He expected to be reprimanded at . Expected to be hated . His thoughts were stopped when all of them started screaming in unison . 

 “MY BESTFRIEND HOW COULD YOU , WHO WAS I GOING TO NOW WHEN I MAKE EVERYONE FOOD ?!?! ” Hunk sobbed , he was grateful Lance was safe . He wouldnt be able to live if his bestfriend was harmed and or dead . “I HATE YOU - I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO BE LIKE MATT AGAIN , DONT DO THIS AGAIN OR I WONT LET YOU USE MY HEADPHONES TO LISTEN TO SHAKIRA !! “ Pidge hugged Lances waist tightly . She was glad that Lance was safe , but she now haded to reprimand him later , if he ever decides to leave again , no shakira or laptop for a month . Coran screaming , “MY SONNNNN , MY SONNN YOU ARE SAFE , I FELT LONELY CLEANING THE PODS MYSELf ” Coran clinging on to his feet . Coran has lost many people in his life . Thr first gen Palladins . He didnt want to lose the other . He was glad he was safe . Shiro placed a hand on Lances shoulder and smiled at him “ Im glad youre safe ” . Shiro was reliefed that Lance wasnt captred by the galra . He was in good care and thats all that mattered . Allura hugged lances back “ YOU DARE LEAVE US ,HOW COULD YOU I FELT BETRAYED , I WAS WORRIED WE WOULDNT SEE YOU AGAIN ” Allura cried . She was began to start a new friendship with Lance and for Lance to be gone wouldve left a wound on her .  

Keith was in the back watching the commotion , he sighed contently . He was glad that Lance was okay , but still a bit mad for leaving them . Keith decided to walk up slowly to them . “H-ey , we’re glad to have our sharpshooter back. ” Keith blushed and looked away , he didnt know what say at the time other than that .maybe saying welcome back couldve been better ? .

 Everybody was now looking at Lance and Keith . Keith was embarrased to look back at Lance , but he looked anyway to see Lances reaction . Both starring at one another . Lance looked like a riped tomato . He can barely hold himself to say something . Now everybody was interested to see where this was going . “W-why are you blushing mullet?!?!” “I SHOULD BE ASKING you that , why are you blushing?!!” Keith was now embarrsed . He wished the ground undrr him would open up and swallow him . He decided that he would walk away and walk back small space pod . “Keith wait , I wanted to talk with you and everybody” Keith stopped and looked back at Lance and started walking back towards him . He remembers that he still hasnt told them the reason why he actually really left . He left them hanging , with an excuse at that . Its understandable that youd want to see your family again , but it still didnt add up , knowing Lance , he wasnt a selfish person , not at all . There was much more than "I just want to see my family”

Everybody stopped clinging on to Lance and was now facing him , waiting for an explaination . Lance took a deep breathe and told himself its okay you can do this . You can tell them . Just be yourself and tell them . After all , theyre your family . You 2 new families . The palladins and Shay and Rena.

 “I-im sorry , for being a burden again , I-” Dang it , Lance thought the tears are forming again and he still havent even gotten far into his explaination yet . Everybody looked at Lance , sending worried looks on his way . Shay and Rena walked over to Lance and gave him a patt on the back . He looked at both of them and he nodded . He breathed in and out and continued “I-I left because I thought that ……I was … I-I felt like a burden to the team . A useless weight …….. Allura has the blue lion , S-Shiro was back so he was going to take Black from Keith and Keith would want his Red back , why should I be there ? I dont have a purpose anymore …. I think. I think everybodies inferior to me , Pidge is smart , Hunk is also smart , Shiro is a leader , Allura was powerful , Coran also had knowledge and Keith , Keith I , I also admired you . I- I just I was just I just - I just felt miserable being around with people whos abilities are off the charts , but now thinking about it and thinking about thr times I-I had with the team “ Lance stopped , his breathing patterns were off and the tears in his eyes were getting heavier . "I- I felt more miserable when I left you guys ” Lance cradled himself and crying . Everybody shocked and tears filled their eyes . They went up to Lance and hugged him . “Lance , the lion switch was temporary , dont worry about it . Youre not a burden to the team . Not at all . Youre far from that . We became good friends now , you always have my back , im super thankful for you . ” Allura assured Lance . Hunk pulled lance in a crushing hug and screamed “ Why would you think that? You saved us plenty of times ! Youre my bestfriend , I know we always joke around , but really youre important to us !! I dont like seeing you hurt buudddy ” Hunk safely Landed Lance down And Pidge started hugged Lance again in the waist “ I never thought you were a burden , i think youre a great friend Lance , thank you for being a good substitute brother” Lance cried more loudly , this was it , this was what he needed . Reassurance from the team . Ressurance that he was needed and loved by his teammates or better yet , his family . Lance pulled Hunk , Pidge and Allura in a tight embrace . Shiro walks up and patts him in the head , Lance looks up at Shiro and smiles “we never once thought you were a burden ,not at all . Youre a great sharpshooter Lance . Youre always improving and honestly you improved the most so far . ” Shiro got a bit teary eyed . Lance was like his brother to him , (well maybe brother in law in the future if things work out between him and keith) Coran interjected “ NOOOO MY SON , MY GORGEROUS SON , NEVER THINK NEGATIVELY ABOUT YOUR SELFFFF ” Coran lifted his hand up to Lances hair and ruffled them . "You make all of us proud my son ”

 Keith was watching his teammates sob and cradle Lance . He wouldve been lying if he said he didnt want to , but he wasnt to keen in showing public diplay of affection . He walked up to them slowly . Hunk , Shiro , Pidge , Allura and Coran stop hugging Lance and looked at Keith coming up towards them . They all looked at each other and smiled and walked away from Lance . Lance was now confused , was Keith going to punch him? Yell at him? What what?

Keith walks up to Lance pulls on the hem of his shirt and places his forehead against his. Everybody was shocked by this . Pidge took out her made shift phone and started taking pictures . The picture was quite perfect with greenish lighting , but also sun arraying on them . The other palladins saying sighing contently saying finally . Keith sighed and looked at where he is gripping Lances shirt “I-im not good with words , but next time you have a problem , come to me , dont go far away from me , come and i-ill open my arms wide for you to hug .” Keith looks  up at Lance for an answer and they both felt liked the world stopped when theyre eyes met  . They were inches apart . Inches from closing the gap between them .  

Everybody was starring at them intensely while , Keith and Lance starred at each other for a while blushing madly . Keith was getting embarrassed and weird stares that peope are giving them . Also to his weird little speech towards Lance . Keith lets go of Lances shirt and turns the other way “A-anyway thats all . lets go home” All of sudden , everybody was screaming sounding dissapointed “NO KISSS?!?!” Keith and Lance now frozen in their place . Lance looked like he was about to pass out , while keith looked like he was about to kill everybody . 

 But all in all , Lance is happy , he didnt know they cared about him this much . Or probably they did care about him a lot , but couldnt see through it due to his negative thoughts and fears . Tears streaming down his face again , truly he was fighting himself , not the world . He realized these people actually care about him . He was needed . He was loved .It was him that needed to overcome his insecurity fears and doubts . Although , it wont be easy to overcome , but truly he has wonderful people to help him overcome it . He also made a new family . Reana and Shay , he cant wait to meet up with them And his fanily back at earth after he finishes saving the world . He truly , is blessed and glad he had wonderful people in his life . Rena and Shay opened up his eyes and made him realize that he was worth more than he thought he was . 

 He now can finally , truly and contently say , the palladins , shay and rena and his family back at earth , are his foundation . ❣️ 

 The end 💙❤️

[toomanyskeletons]

do all the oc asks ALL of them for AT LEAST two of your ocs (evil laughter)

“evil”

you act as if talking extensively about my ocs does not bring me joy (i’ll only do two probably bc i do have some asks from other people so i’ll have to do those with other ocs, and i’ll try to stick to the same two for the most part.

or three. maybe three.)

anyway let’s begin

1. if they had a tumblr, what would they post about?

Sam: hmm i think probably some blog like. Mostly trans positivity posts with scattered posts abt how much she loves her gf

Amelia: considering her popularity status she’d run some blog like. U kno the blogs tumblr celebrities run i guess? So like. Reblogging a few general funny posts and answering select asks while getting like 200 every day.

 2. what’s their favourite colour?

 Sam: she likes blue :o like. Light blues. Also she keeps her hair dyed light blue as well

Amelia: purple. Honestly idk much more i can say about this.

 3. What makes them laugh?

 Sam: shitty puns and memes, mostly. The type of person who laughs out loud when u just say ‘egg’. She’s probably still into ‘xD tacos’ random humour.

Amelia: the polar opposite of sam in this regard. Laughs at intellectual humor. Like. rich fancy people. I know it exists but i cant think of any specific examples. Politely laughs at things people say are funny but she does not find them actually funny.

 4. If they had one day left to live, how would they spend it?

 Sam: “lmao dw i’ll probably just go to hell anyway” wait no context is important. She’s like. Actually how do i make this not sound bad rip. Uh. basically she is a business partner of lucifer who is actually p chill but that’s another story

Anyway that means like. If she dies she’ll probably just come back as a ghost or a higher tier demon.

O fuk now i really wanna draw that

Amelia: panicking and trying to find a way to not die. She had things she wants to do and a public record to maintain and jeez  i just realised how much ames has changed compared the the first universe she was in. i mean YEAH completely different life experiences but rip

 5. Do they have any annoying habits?

 -this is really subjective bc of what different people consider annoying but

Sam: people say she laughs too much. That is not her annoying habit is, her annoying habit is tellling lucifer when people say that so lucifer can like. Ban them from reincarnation or put a curse on them or something like that. Also sometimes when she cant be bothered to go that extra step she might go into the past and become that person’s grandmother.

...that second one isnt really an annoying habit to most people but to the one guy who has to help keep control of time, it is a very annoying habit and what makes up like half of his job doings.

 Amelia: sometimes goes very over the top with things. One time she stole a magic book by becoming a security guard at the place where it was kept and then took the book and ran. So like, instead of doing things illegally, she did it also illegally and got a month’s pay from it as well.

I guess she’s like. Extra™

 6. What’s their favourite movie genre?

I s2fg i have mentioned this sometime in one of the long texts i have written involving these characters but i cant remember so

Sam: tbh probably more realistic/contemporary stuff, rom-coms, slice of life, coming of age etc. Like. her life is a science fiction/fantasy movie she’s a time traveler working with the dark lord lucifer ffs. Also she’d probably get annoyed on tiny details while watching historical stuff like

“That never happened”

“Sam it’s fiction, it’s a movie, how would they have known that”

“Well maybe they didn’t know it but it’s still fucking annoying”

 Amelia: probably similar to sam, her life is fuckin busy and always people and she’s famous so like. Escape from her life is to indulge in the normal things.

 Just as a side note this does take place in a modern-ish fantasy world so idk what fantasy movies would be considered there but. They exist. I’ll work this out sooner or later

 Also bonus character bc its fucking funny - Zeph: zephyr likes horror movies. She also likes to watch horror movies with her brother. Her brother does not share her same passion for horror movies. He has a certain threshold before he has to flee the room and cuddle someone. This is mostly why zeph likes horror movies. She is pretty picky with what she considers ‘good’ and spends most of her time making fun of horror movies.

And, like the rest of us, secretly freaks out when she is alone at night and hears a sound outside. But for significantly less long because she knows exactly how to make fun of it.

 7. What are their religious beliefs?

 Alright i might not (read: will not currently) answer this bc i’m still working out how to handle religion in this, bc basically there is historical evidence for how the world was created. But obviously that’s not the only component to religion?

Another point would be that actually i still havent got around to creating any religions yet.i still gotta get around to getting down a more detailed history of the world first but i am planning it

 8. What’s their current job (if they have one)?

Yes BITCH i have been WAITIGN for a question like this

 Sam: basically she made a deal with lucifer and runs many errands for them. But also they helped her a LOT when they helped her escape a shitty transphobic environment and also the two became best friends? So i mean she doesn’t get paid but that takes up a lot of her time

Also she, at one stage, becomes part of this thing called the council which i haven’t quite worked out how they work in this universe yet. Theyre a bunch of strong magic people who work in coordination with the Champion (more on this below) to put down rules about magic. Theyre a reused concept from this story i made when i was like. 10. So the idea does need some reworking.

 Amelia: amelia is the champion, which is basically the title given to the person who wins at a big magic competition. Its a p big job, lots of publicity and pr and often regretted by the people who do end up getting there

(like? This one guy? He was kinda like “oh yeah sounds fun” and then he fucking won and he was like “lmao i’ll lose next year” and then he kept the position for 7 years and after that got so fucking sick of it he faked his assassination and became a reclusive mysterious millionaire)

Anyway she enjoys it for the first while until there is a real threat of her being assassinated unlike the aforementioned dude

But she enjoys being around people to an extent, and like. She enjoys making people happy, so

 9. How do they react to confrontation?

 Sam: similar way to what i described before. Like. jsut the little things. Cursing them with the help of lucifer, becoming their grandmother, you know. The usual ways people deal with confrontation.

Amelia: curiosity, further questioning, keeping calm, kinda just. Being chill about it. She wants to make herself a better person, in general, and if someone is deliberately being a confrontational asshole she prefers to just state her point calmly.

 10. Do they have a criminal record?

 Sam: you know? Probably? She kills a bunch of assholes where it’s required, but also she legally doesn’t exist? So? Idk? She’s been arrested a few times, but considering there is no information on her existence at all-

*shrugs* idfk how the law works.

 Amelia: well, technically, no, she only did illegal things last universe and had a pretty fancy upbringing this universe, so there was no reason for her to do the illegals and also like. Public image and stuff. She worries a lot about public image.

 11. What’s their favourite plant?

 Another thing which i feel i have mentioned somewhere but idfk where

 Sam: likes hydrangeas. They’re pretty.

Amelia: can i just say. It is definitely not catnip. Actually. Maybe? Like. she had some pretty fuckin negative experiences with catnip where she destroyed reality for like a solid five seconds by accident and went to purgatory, but also she made two life friends out of it, so? Maybe catnip after all.

 12. Can they play any instruments?

 Sam: “does the kazoo count”

Amelia: nope

 But because this was boring, i’m going to do a special guest feature from her half brother ryan who is a semi-popular youtube vlogger/musician-y dude. or . whatever this world’s equivalent of youtube is. Uh. metube. Yotube. I’ll think about it.

 Ryan: he plays the guitar and sings and he’s damn fucking good at it and he knows it. Also he shares the same combination of forgetting how to outlet his anger in healthy ways + poor impulse control which means that about once every six months he has to buy a new guitar because he couldn’t get that song right and he hit the guitar against the floor.

(his dad is a writer and also an archangel,and one time he couldn’t work out how to start off a scene right so he exploded his laptop and had to use a typewriter for the four weeks while his other archangel buddy was fixing it - i’m getting off topic here)

 13. What are they proudest of?

 Sam: i guess just. Her life in general? Like. she’s survived up to this point, she’s doin shit, maybe not the shit she expected to be doing or the shit she imagined she’d be doing but she’s still doin it. Like. fuck you life. I survived. And she’s proud of that.

Amelia: that one time when she managed to keep her champion title the first time? And also when she made friends with the guy who she thought was a girl and also dead who turned out to be not a girl and alive and also was the champion for seven years rememebr that guy yeah that’s this guy. Anyway she made friends with him after settling some differences. And also when she stopped a whole organisation from murdering her yeah that was good too.

 14. What’s their biggest insecurity?

 Sam: okay this is Definitely Not Me Projecting here (hint: it’s me projecting) but she hates being seen as masculine at all and is very insecure when people refer to her or see her as masculine? Like if u call her butch She Will Cry and also why would you do that bc her and her girlfriend are femme as heck

Amelia: public image public image public image public image

Like. she doesn’t want to look bad, or like a bad public leader, but also, she just wants to do her own thing, u kno?

 15. What do they most often dream about?

Like. literally dream or daydream?

 Sam: probably. Mostly happy stuff. Plus random occasional vivid recollections of tramatic experiences.

Amelia: honestly who the fuck knows (i’d answer this properly but I am Almost Out O f Time)

 So yes almost out of time but thank you so much and doing this has inspired me to just completely rework my first book to make it more interesting

I know that sounds bad btu its not i promise i love oyu

(also there was a bunch of different formatting like italcs etc that was lost when icopied from here to docs sorry)

[trendingnewsb]

Jaylen Brown: ‘Sport is a mechanism of control in America’

As the Boston Celtics star prepares to play in London, he talks to Donald McRae about race, the NBA and the death of his best friend

Jaylen Brown is one the most intelligent and interesting young athletes Ive met in years and it seems fitting that, midway through our interview in Boston, he should retell a parable that brings together Martin Luther King and the great American writer David Foster Wallace.

Weve got two young fish swimming one way and an older fish swimming the other way, the 21-year-old star of the Boston Celtics says as he considers the enduring backdrop of race in the United States. They cross paths and the older fish says: Whats up guys, hows the water? The two younger fish turn around and look back at the wiser fish and ask: Whats water? Theyve never recognised that this is what they actually live in. So it takes somebody special like Martin Luther King to see past what youve been embedded in your whole life.

Three years before his death, Foster Wallace included the parable in one of his most widely-read pieces of writing. Yet it carries fresh resonance when said with quiet force by a young basketball player who stands apart from many of his contemporaries to the extent that there have been numerous articles in which an unnamed NBA executive apparently suggested that Brown might be too smart for the league or his own good.

Brown was the No3 pick in the 2016 NBA draft and now, in his second season with Boston, he is a key figure as the Celtics arrive in London this week as the leading team in the Eastern Conference. Weve already spoken about Browns desire to learn new languages and his interest in books and chess while he loves playing the piano and listening to grime artists from east London. Even more intimately he has relived the death of his closest friend Trevin Steede in November. In the two games after that devastating loss Brown produced inspirational performances, which he dedicated to Steede.

He has also looked forward to playing in London on Thursday, against the Philadelphia 76ers, and answered a question as to whether his young Celtics team may become NBA champions in the next few seasons: Why not this year? People say maybe well be good in two years but I think were good now. Right now weve got one of the best records in the league. I think we could be as good as we want to be. But the more we let people construct our mindset, and start saying two years from now, is the moment we lose.

Last week the Celtics beat LeBron James Cleveland Cavaliers 102-88. Excitement and anticipation surrounds the Celtics but race still stalks our conversation and it has echoed hauntingly through Browns life. Racism definitely still exists in the South, he says, remembering his youth in Marietta, Georgia. Ive experienced it through basketball. Ive had people call me the n-word. Ive had people come to basketball games dressed in monkey suits with a jersey on. Ive had people paint their face black at my games. Ive had people throw bananas in the stands.

Racism definitely exists across America today. Of course its changed a lot and my opportunities are far greater than they would have been 50 years ago. So some people think racism has dissipated or no longer exists. But its hidden in more strategic places. You have less people coming to your face and telling you certain things. But [Donald] Trump has made it a lot more acceptable for racists to speak their minds.

Jaylen Brown takes on LeBron James earlier this season. Photograph: CJ Gunther/EPA

Brown admits that, when he was 14, It wounds you. But when I got older and went to the University of California [Berkeley] I learnt about a more subtle racism and how it filters across our education system through tracking, hidden curriculums, social stratification and things I had no idea of before. I was really emotional because one of the most subtle but aggressive ways racism exists is through our education system.

In his year at college, before pausing his degree to play in the NBA, Brown wrote a thesis about how institutionalised sport impacts on education. I was super emotional reading about it, he says of his chosen subject. Theres this idea of America that some people have to win and some have to lose so certain things are in place to make this happen. Some people have to be the next legislators and political elites and some have to fill the prisons and work in McDonalds. Thats how America works. Its a machine which needs people up top, and people down low.

Even though Ive ended up in a great place, who is to say where I wouldve been without basketball? It makes me feel for my friends. And my little brothers or cousins have no idea how their social mobility is being shaped. I wish more and more that I can explain it to them. Just because Im the outlier in my neighbourhood who managed to avoid the barriers set up to keep the privileged in privilege, and the poor still poor, why should I forget about the people who didnt have the same chance as me?

What did he think of Colin Kaepernicks protest against police brutality and racism which the former San Francisco 49ers quarterback began even before Trumps election to the White House? It was peaceful and successful. It made people think. It made people angry. It made people want to talk. Often everybody is comfortable with their role in life and they forget about the people who are uncomfortable. So for Colin to put his career on the line, and sacrifice himself, was amazing. But Colin was fed up with the police brutality and pure racism. He speaks for many people in this country including me.

Did Brown understand from the outset that Kaepernicks career was in jeopardy? Absolutely. I wasnt shocked how it turned out. Colin was trying to get back into the NFL and find another team and hes more than capable. But I knew it was over. I knew they werent going to let him back. Nobody wanted the media attention or to take the risk. They probably just wanted to blackball him out of the league.

Thats the reality because sports is a mechanism of control. If people didnt have sports they would be a lot more disappointed with their role in society. There would be a lot more anger or stress about the injustice of poverty and hunger. Sports is a way to channel our energy into something positive. Without sports who knows what half of these kids would be doing?

Were having some of the same problems we had 50 years ago. Some things have changed a lot but other factors are deeply embedded in our society. It takes protests like Kaepernicks to make people uncomfortable and aware of these hidden injustices. People are now a lot more aware, engaged and united in our culture. It takes a special person like Kaepernick to force these changes because often reporters and fans say: If youre an athlete I dont want you to say anything. You should be happy youre making x amount of money playing sport. You should be saluting America instead of critiquing it. Thats our society.

Has his anger been amplified during Trumps presidency? Not really. I just think Trumps character and some of his values makes him unfit to lead. For someone like him to be president, and in charge of our troops? Its scary to be honest.

Trumps Twitter war in November with LaVar Ball tipped the scales, for Brown, beyond credulity. The President accused Ball of being ungrateful following the release from China of his son, LiAngelo, and two other UCLA basketball players after they were caught shoplifting. He demanded a thank you, Brown says of Trump. Its ridiculous. What happened to people doing things out of the generosity of their heart or because it was the right thing to do? There have been multiple situations where its been ridiculous but that one was like: OK Im done. Im done listening to anything you have to say. A 19-year-old kid makes a mistake overseas and [Trump] demands an apology from his dad? I think Trumps unfit to lead.

Jaylen Brown dunks during a game against the Brooklyn Nets. Photograph: Justin Lane/EPA

Browns readiness to talk about politics and culture might account for the surreal suggestion in 2016 that he was too smart for the NBA. From the outside, smart seemed a euphemism for troublesome. What did Brown think when, as a teenager, he heard words unlikely to be used in conjunction with a white athlete? It was hinting at something very problematic within society. It bothered me but I was so focused on getting to where I was going I never dissected it or pointed it out to anybody.

But I disagree that an athlete cant be intelligent. Some people think that, in basketball, we have a bunch of masculine adults who dont know how to control themselves. Theyre feeble-minded and cant engage or articulate ideas. Thats a narrative they keep trying to paint. Were trying to change it because that statement definitely has a racist undertone.

Brown chose Berkeley because he knew he would be stretched academically. Has he missed the intellectual stimulus since swapping college for professional basketball? Absolutely. Ive missed it so much. Im in a good environment here but at Cal I was learning something new every day. Im now trying to keep well-balanced instead of single-minded. I take piano lessons after I spent the last year teaching myself piano. If Im frustrated or had a bad day, but need to keep engaged, practicing the piano does that for me. Same with the YouTube [vlogs which he makes]. I use the camera so I can show something of this life to the everyday person who is interested in seeing what its like for an athlete on a day-to-day basis. Everybody puts you on a pedestal especially when youre playing well and they make it seem like youre not human. But Im just a regular guy.

During his first year at Berkeley, in his spare time, Brown learned Spanish from scratch and became fluent. Im not as good now, he says. I started again because therere so many conjugations that slip your mind if you dont practice. But I also just learned the Arabic alphabet. Im proud of myself because the pronunciation is hard.

Brown starts to say the Arabic alphabet out loud and, to an untutored ear, he sounds impressive. Yeah, he says with a grin, Im trying.

He describes himself as an introvert and it must be hard being quiet and reflective in a boisterous sporting environment? Absolutely. Its not just the locker room. In life if you stay quiet youll get left behind. So I had to learn to be more vocal and outgoing. I just try to be respectful of everybody. But the closer you get with guys the more you talk to them. It becomes like a family especially when youre winning. Last year I was much quieter but this year my opinion is valued more. We have a good locker room.

Jaylen Browns Celtics are set for a deep playoff run this season. Photograph: CJ Gunther/EPA

The value of that locker room was felt by Brown after the tragic suicide of his friend Trevin Steede. Brown found the will to play against the NBA champions, the Golden State Warriors, the night after Steedes death and he inspired the Celtics to a memorable victory by scoring the most points [22] while producing tenacious defence. After the game Kyrie Irving, the Celticss superstar, gave Brown the ball and said: This ones for Trevin.

Before they played again, in Atlanta, where Steedes family live, Brown visited his friends mother and other grieving relatives. He then went out and shot a career-high 27 points. Im so thankful for the people around me. They lifted me up. I dont know what my mental state would be right now without them.

I met Trevin when I moved to Wheeler which is a big basketball school in Marietta, Georgia. Trevin was a year older so he was a sophomore and I was a freshman. They brought me in and there was only one spot left on the team and it was between me and him. They gave it to me.

I didnt know anybody when I first got there so at lunch in the first week Id eat by myself acting like Im on my phone. Trevin came up to me after the third day. Id seen him in workouts but I didnt really know him. He said, Man, come sit over here with us. Ever since then, we were best friends.

How did he hear about Trevins death? His mom called me. Im thinking shes just checking on me or saying hi. But she called to tell me hes passed.

Brown looks down and his hurt is obvious. He also admits he needed the support of Steedes mother to face Golden State. I probably wouldnt have played unless she called me. Brad Stevens [the Celtics coach] asked how I was doing. I told him, I dont think Im able to come in today. He said: Thats fine. Take your time. Three seconds after I hung up, Trevins mom called. I told her I wasnt doing well and I probably wasnt going to play that night. She said: You know thats not what I want and thats not what Trevin would have wanted. So if you can find it in your heart to go out and play for him, do it.

Did he play in a daze, or was he inspired by Trevin to help Celtics win? I didnt feel anything. It was like I was out there by myself.

The chance to play in London lifts his mood. I visited London for the first time last summer. It was great. I went to see Big Ben because one of my idols is Benjamin Banneker [the African American scientist who, among other achievements, worked with striking clocks in the 18th century].

This week Brown would like to hear more grime and to see Arsenal. I like Barcelona because of the players theyve had traditionally from Ronaldinho to Messi. I really like Arsenal too. I like their tradition, and their diehard fans. I hope to see them in London. I think Thierry Henry is going to be there so Ill just hit him up and see if I can get some access to the [stadium] tour, get some shots on the field. Last summer I became really close with Thierry. I got to talk to him and we keep up with each other and he gives me advice about sports and life. Hes one of the all-time greats.

At the Celtics training facility, on the outskirts of Boston, Brown rises to his full 6ft 7in. He looks around the empty court before turning back with a smile when I say weve covered a lot of ground from the mysteries of water for two young fish and the enduring problems of race in America to the impact of learning and the pleasure of following sport around the world. Yeah, Brown says softly, stretching out his hand, thats the way I like it.

The NBA London Game 2018 sees the Philadelphia 76ers host Boston Celtics at The O2 on 11 January. The game will also be live on BT Sport and NBA League Pass.

Sign up to our weekly email, The Recap, here, showcasing a selection of our sport features from the past seven days.

Read more: https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2018/jan/09/jaylen-brown-boston-celtics-nba-interview

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[adambstingus]

Tom Green: ‘It demystifies the presidency when you’ve had Trump scream in your face’

The online prankster who got fired by Trump returns to standup and talks about where you draw the line in comedy

Tom Green has been rapped about by Eminem, fired by Donald Trump and married briefly to Drew Barrymore. He made an influential and outrageous MTV series (The Tom Green Show), as well as one of the most reviled films of all time (Freddy Got Fingered). He also documented his experience of testicular cancer in a TV special that didnt blanch at the sight of the surgeons scalpel. And it is not merely a figure of speech to say that he has guts millions of viewers have seen them, unpacked on the operating table during surgery to inspect his lymph nodes.

Sitting in a London bar, the 45-year-old, 6ft 2in Canadian comic is more contemplative than the manic, bug-eyed goofball who made his name in the 1990s. Back then, he blurred the line between pranks and performance art, prowling the streets with baguettes strapped to his head, addressing passing businessmen as Mummy or gyrating against roadkill. It was the roadkill stunt that earned him a namecheck from Eminem, who complained in The Real Slim Shady: Sometimes I want to get on TV and just let loose, but cant / But its cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose.

Green sips his beer. People thought I was completely nuts, he says in his soft, rumbling voice. Part of the confusion, he suspects, can be blamed on the decision to carry over his hysterical persona into talkshow appearances. Playing Tom Green quickly became an exhausting full-time job. Id go on The Tonight Show and scream into the camera. I felt the pressure to make myself seem unhinged. I want people to know that Im not just this crazy person flailing around. A lot of thought goes into what I do.

One of the most reviled films of all time Green in Freddy Got Fingered. Photograph: Chris Helcermanas-Benge/Associated Press

It is for this reason that he bristles when I ask how it felt to be at the forefront of the 90s wave of gross-out comedy. It bothers me when people say shock comic or gross-out because that was only one type of comedy I did. There was prank comedy. Man-on-the-street-reaction comedy. Visually surreal comedy. But you do something shocking and that becomes your label. That dead moose, it seems, cast an awfully long shadow.

Just as the goatee and floppy fringe of his 20s have been replaced by short hair and a black beard splotched with grey, so the pranks and skits have given way to more mature pursuits. He presents an online talk show, Tom Greens House Tonight, from his living room, and has made an enthusiastic return to his standup roots. Im surprising myself on stage every night, he says.

The material in his current European tour, he says, is the strongest of his career. He is still railing against technology and social media one of his most inspired recent routines finds him crouched on a stool, limbs retracting into his body, as he imagines the human form reduced to two muscular, elongated, rapidly flapping text-messaging thumbs.

The new show, he adds, is also his most personal. Subjects include his battle with cancer and the reality of being 45 and not having children. Inevitably, the current US president, who fired him from The Apprentice, crops up. I talk about how it demystifies the presidency when youve sat there and had him scream in your face. Wow, that guys the president? I really shouldve gone up for all of those jobs in my life that I never felt qualified for.

Green savaged Trump in a rap parody last year but the challenge, he says, is to keep the mood inclusive, irrespective of political affiliation. If its negative and hostile for half the audience, then not only is that half not laughing, theyre not even listening. We happen to be meeting on the day that a picture emerged of the US comic Kathy Griffin holding a bloodied Trump mask in a mocked-up decapitation pose. Jim Carrey and Alec Baldwin sprang to her defence, but Green sounds a cautionary note. She made a mistake. As comedians, we all get into that mode of thinking of the worst thing imaginable but you usually have the ability to pull back before releasing it to the world.

It may seem a bit rich to hear restraint preached by the man who, in Freddy Got Fingered, bites a babys umbilical cord before using it to spin the infant around his head, showering the maternity ward with blood. Then again, there is an underlying tenderness to Greens humour. Its important to remember that he hands the baby lovingly to its mother and that Freddy Got Fingered is the story of a man who just wants his daddy to love him, even if it means spraying him with elephant semen. (Green, whose father was a captain in the Canadian army, calls the movie semi-autobiographical.)

The comic enjoyed his first burst of fame at the age of 19 in his native Ottawa as part of the rap group Organised Rhyme, where he went by the name MC Bones. When the band was dropped by their label, he lived in his parents basement devising and shooting increasingly ambitious comedy videos that went out on a Canadian public access station. Some were simple vox pops; others, such as the prank in which he arranged for his fathers car to be spray-painted with an explicit lesbian sex scene, transforming it into the Slutmobile, demanded complex levels of planning.

Much of the humour arose from the conflict between these provocations and the essentially reasonable nature of the Canadian national character, as personified by his long-suffering parents, who became one of the subjects of his comedy (he once woke them up, on camera, at 3am to demand that they watch a Bon Jovi video with him) but never the butt.

MTV snapped up hundreds of these prank videos and gave Green his own show. Within weeks, he was fielding calls from Oprah Winfrey, Pepsi and his hero David Letterman. Drew Barrymore asked him to appear with her in Charlies Angels and the pair started dating, generating a media storm that endured throughout their two-year relationship, which included five months of marriage.

What with the couples divorce at the end of 2001, the notoriety of Greens MTV show, the Eminem song, the cancer diagnosis and the furore over Freddy Got Fingered, it felt as if every pop culture news item in the early 2000s revolved around him. Its true. A couple of those things would have been enough, but every day there was a story about me. And when something is in everyones face, they want to attack it.

When I ask if there is anything he feels is now overlooked about his comedy, his thoughts return to those heady early days. When the show went out on MTV in 1999, we were inventing something and trying to smash TV conventions. I feel I get credit for that on the street but not in the mainstream. There are billion-dollar franchises that have literally reshot and recreated my material.

I mention Jackass, which was devised by members of his team while he was on hiatus recovering from cancer, and Sacha Baron Cohen. All sorts of stuff, yeah, he nods. I was the first one who put all that together, this guerrilla-sketch-comedy-skateboarder-lifestyle-reality thing, which is essentially what YouTube is today. It can be a little frustrating not to get credit for that.

Still, theres a sense he may finally be getting his due. Eric Andre, who has a groundbreaking show on Adult Swim, has acknowledged Greens influence. One website recently called him the original troll. Even Freddy Gets Fingered is being appreciated at last for its punk surrealism.

For Green, standup is his future. When Im 65 and still performing every week, Id like people to say, You know, when that guy was a kid, he made these weird, crazy videos? And theyll have to go look for them rather than it being the first thing they know about me.

Tom Green is at the Nottingham Glee Club, 13 June. Box office: 0871 472 0400. Then touring.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/tom-green-it-demystifies-the-presidency-when-youve-had-trump-scream-in-your-face/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/169758206957

[yoonasgf]

171013- saturday a rant dnt bother reading

i feel like i wanna talk to someone but then i think about it and what am i even expecting ? whenever i say smth i regret it immediately so just thinking abt expressing whats bothering me to others i just know ill regret adn feel guilty and embarrassed about it later so i never talk to anyone abt anything that goes on in my mind and it gets to the point where its so over bearing i feel like its drowning my head somehow , im so.. lonely wld be the word but lonely in my thoughts but like that doesnt even make sense idk im just writing here bc i need to let my feelings out somehow and i’d usually do it on twitter but like the 140 characters thing anyway i just feel like i want to let things out but whenevr i do i never like the answer i get, like if they give me advice i feel annoyed cus i wasnt asking for help i was simply stating how i felt (and most of the time its stuff that cant really be fixed?), if they tell me stuff like “i love you !” its like ok? ik its mean but someone elses love does not affect my situation at all since its an inner issue that doest rly have to do with self-esteem, and if they just are like ‘yeah’ or ‘thats so bad:(’ ijust feel like theyre not paying attention (even if they are) which makes me regret opening up, so i dont really know what im expecting when i vent to someone i guess i just want to feel like someone is listening to me idk im like so full of thoughts and feelings. writing this feels like its calming me down a little bit so i think im just gonna keep writing, in english (its funny how id rather open up in english since its my second language i feel more alienated from it so it feels less real? what im talking about seems less seriousdk) so whats circling in my mind is that i dont have anyone im urging to meet i dont have anyone i truly like anymore and that my ladies is so fucking sad and frustrating that ive mentally grown apart from my friends im just not myself when im with them and sure my fake-extroverted persona ive built throughout highschool is good at doing her job and she still gets along with them so well but now it feels like that side of me, the fake one, is another person like we used to share some “mental common ground” but not anymore i just dont have anything in common with that persona anymore so whenever im with my old friends i just become her it’s like i completely leave reality it makesme so lonely inside. and i cant help it its unvoluntary how i switch places with the other me i cant stop it and i hate it because i feel like its drowning me alive, along with my personal issues. lately ive been isolating myself a lot, i stay in the classroom during recess and i havent gone out in like a month.actually last time i went out i decided i just wont go out anymore i just think its not for me i truly dont have fun. is that okay like is that normal? like is just dont enjoy the loudness and the kind of jokes that go on, i think if grown too fast. i justdont wannatalk about drinking andsex and how evil the math teacher is, like its fine once ia while but iwanna discuss science and philosohy and share thoughs too,  anything else is so irrelevant it’s so sos irrrelevant to me. not that i dont enjoy good laughs anddrinking, but for that i feel like i wanna be with someone who is special to me? like someone whoi respect intellectually first, and then we can laugh at dog memes. someone i can show my realpersona to,and the thing is i have my best friends she’s literally so perfect bc she’s smart but also silly so we can talk abt hitler but then we can talk abt that one episode of sponge bob ? but the thing is shes graduating this year, and she has like an almost boyfriend, so i decided i should start getting used to her not beingwith me, but thats way more lonely than i thought. the guy thing, it wasnt planned, and shes with her crush most of the time which i totally understand i watn them to be together and stuff but i dont have anyone else but her- that is the real me not the fake persona, the fake persona hasmany people- but i though “she deserves this” so decided to step back so they can concentrate on each other. she ofc wouldve never asked this of me, but it seems like it was the best, sometimes i feel like a huge burden to her. but now imrealizing how lonely it has made me, being with her is like letting go of a breath that ive been holding and im realizing how much i need her. so i thought of like ‘slipping’ back in but im faced with the fact that we will infact part ways when she graduates because we’re attending universities in different parts of the country so maybe i should be getting used to the solitude, until someone else comes. and someone else seems to be here, this one friend i have in my new class, but im so scared of opning up to her, im scared of her kindness to me. i always think “why is she so nice? why does she stand up for me” at first she wasa bit too rough for me but as we spent time together i think she realized what kind of person i am and changed her ways so now were getting closer and closer and it makes me so 불안해 and 두려워 (idk how to express the sentiment in english) i dont even know what im scared of, it;s not like ive been hurt before in that way i think? maybe i have i cant remember. the point is, i know i should let this person in because she’d help me but i just cant seem to opne the freaking door its like my hand is shakinly holding teh doorknob without actually twisting it. i do think i will eventually tho. anyway. i was saying i spend alot of time alone these days, reading,studying, twitter, watching stuff, and its really nice i really do enjoy being by myself but i honestly dont have manyb things to do? so eventually the Thoughts come, and lately what ive been meditating is how the reason why i dont get close or attached to people (again the fake me might get closed but not me) is because simply no one is as good company to me as myself? which is fine wyou know many people feel like that, but i hate that if im alone poeple thinkg i dont have friends or that im sad and they think its bad that i am alone which is really not the case. i could be with ppl if i wanted to i just chose not to. theres this particular guy in my class actually, who thinks he has to be my friends bcim often alone and it irriates me so much bc 1. hes interrumpting my enjoyable me-time 2. he does it out of pity and boi do i hate pity like sometimes i just stay in the classroom doing homework or reading and he comes in likw “why are u always alone:(” because i want to you fucking dumbass andtoday or maybe it was yesterday particularly he said “why are you always alone is it becayse you dont have freinds bc you went on exchange and dont know anyone” llike um no im alone because i literally want to be alone you absolute dipshit and ido have 10 times more friends than you i just dont feel like being wit hthem you fucking asshole it pissed me off so much as if he’s ?? helping in anyway ?? i just wish anyone whosaw me alone wld tjust think ‘i guess she likes being alone’ isntead of thinking that im alone bc no one is willing to keep me company. isuddenly got really mad writting this. i think this really calmed me downishould do it more often its not like anyone who follows me here wld open it, like ideally this is whatdiaries are for but i dnt like to waste paper. im gonna write the date as well