#also she wears the same gown she had in an earlier episode when he first falls in love with her

[fideidefenswhore]

So in the Blood, Sex and Royalty what other Queen would use a whip with Henry?? 🤣🤣

None other, she is the first and final girlboss.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Costume Meta 7x06

Me on holiday trying to write a costume meta - yeah probably gonna keep this one shortish because - you know - on holiday!!!

We have plenty to get through this episode an dI had zero Idea how to set this one out because its kinda immpossible!

So in the end I just decided to go with the flow and therefore this is probably a bit all over the place in terms of organisation!

Chimney

Ok so Chimney exclusively wears check for this episode, apart from his hospital gown, which I'm not going to talk about as its a hosptial gown!

Chimneys first shirt is a grey and white rectangle gingham we see him in when he is having dinner with the Lee's to remember Kevin.

Grey is a neutral colour and can be linked with feelings of depression and compromise. These are key indicators of what is going on with Chim in this scene - he isn't depressed, but his spirits are clearly depressed (as in mute) and this should be seen as an alarm bell for Chimney - he who is forever optimistic - its all adding to the arc of Chimney not being himself - of something being wrong with him.

His second shirt is this cream with a double blue check pattern - the increased amount of check plays into his encephalitic deterioration - showing he is becoming increasingly confused/delirious etc - the check patterning ins far more obvious and distinctive, unlike the grey gingham from earlier - which kind of blurs out to look more overall grey even if you can still see its a check pattern.

Doug

Not going to dwell on Doug for long, but I do want to mention the fact that they put him in the very same costumes he was wearing in season 2. This triggers visual memories for audience members who have been watching the show from the beginning (or have watched those earlier episodes recently) because even if you don't quite connect the dots on why, you automatically know that this is a hallucination and not reality - the other visuals (such as him being there then not) add to this understanding, but it is the costumes that connect the Doug we're watching here and the Doug from the past.

Maddie

Gonna go in reverse with Maddie's costumes! here we have her in Chims hospital room, wearing a very similar outfit to the one she worse in his hospital room back in season 2 in the aftermath of Doug, the blue is now navy rather than the grey/blue of the earlier one, but that plays into the idea of a deeper relationship - they were just at the begining back in season 2 - the grey played into Maddie providing a soothing and relaxing presence for Chim, while the undetone of blue played into the growing trust and loyalty they shared. Now the navy blue is showing the strength of that trust and loyalty, while also hinting at Maddie feeling in a darkish place - her fear at losing the love of her life.

Maddies wedding dress - it’s a stunning dress and I love that it’s not all white - it’s a mix of white tulle and champagne embroidered lace. The dress having chapagne embroidered lace is really lovely - the golden brownish yellow tones of champagne as a colour in colour theory are emblematic of a driven and powerful personality (which we see displayed very clearly in this episode) as well as of modesty, excitement and fun.

When I first saw it, not going to lie, I had mixed feelings about it - but I think most of my issues with the dress stem from the fact it’s not especially well fitted to Jennifer - not sure if it’s because they rented it rather than buying outright so couldn’t alter it or if there are other factors at play, but that aside it’s a really great dress and very Maddie. 

It makes sense that she would actually choose to go all out for the wedding - to overwrite all the memories of her wedding to Doug - this wedding is the one she wants to remember - the one she’ll look back on in the years to come, so for her to get to pick out a grand dress (especially as she likely didn’t get any choice in her previous dress) 

Beyond that there’s not a lot I can say from a costume and colour perspective - it’s a wedding dress doing wedding dress things!!

Hen

Hen is in a black suit for her role as best woman, its full of Hens personality, whilst being subtle and fitting for a wedding - there really isn't a lot to say about it from a colour perspective, or from a design perspective - its doing everything it need to perfectly (it is also stunning and I would very much like to own it), not making Hen the centre of attention, whilst also ensuring we're aware of her importance within the wedding party.

Then we have Bachelor party Hen, who is definetley rocking more of a 70's vibe in those jeans (which I also love and want please!!) and shirt and Karen is definetely more 90's vibes in the black and gold Chinese suit.

THis is really intentional - we have the context of Chim not being into having a bachelor party (which we know he would've actually loved and enjoyed had his brain not been being eat by a viral infection) and so every one else not being in costume except Eddie and Buck is very much about them feeding off the vibes Chim had been giving - they've made an effort to get dressed up, but they haven't gone with the theming.

Chris

Chirs is wearing a surf shirt - it's by Quicksilver and I've included a better picture of the pattern below, because what you can't see with the filter on the camera is that the little logos on the shirt are in both blue and green. They're all symbols associated with surf and water.

So the water theming around Christopher (and Buck and Eddie) continues and we have the added fact that blue green theory is in play here as well - and it was in play a lot throughout the episode in relation to Buck and Eddie.

Tommy

Only one brief costume to look at for Tommy in this episode and its very much continuing the theming we've seen on him this entire season. We continue to see him in a Henley and jeans. This one is navy blue.

Choices were definitely made when it came to this outfit and the fact he hasn't chosen to dress up in any way - its part of the wider arc at play in this season (for all characters, not just Buck or Eddie - its the seasons theme - which is fitting considering we've moved to a new network and its a way of establishing/re-establishing the characters, their motivations and their interpersonal relationships) that Tommy doesn't know Buck - its not only highlighting the difference between Buck and Eddie and Buck and Tommy, but also calling back to the literal episode titled 'you don't know me' and emphasising that tommy doesn't know Buck and his quirks at this point (this is not Tommy bashing before anyone comes for me - I like Tommy and I wouldn't expect him to know that Buck gets super invested in things in this way at this point I am merely pointing out that the costume is highlighting the newness of their relationship).

Bobby and Athena

Bobby and Athena are exclusively in blue and green this episode - we have the brighter jewel toned blue suit and emerald green dress of the wedding which are switched out for the more muted navy polo and khaki green jacket when the search for Chim gets underway.

The brighter colours are much more hopeful and cheerful - the bright blue of Bobbys suit with the meaning of trust and loyalty it is a supportive shade, meanwhile the green of Athena’s dress symbolises growth and health and luck.

The more muted tones of the search play into their respective roles - Bobby becomes a fire captain just without the logo - it gives him the air of authority, while remaining supportive and dependable. Meanwhile Athena’s khaki green - a very typical shade plays into her position as a police officer - she is prepared to fight to figure out what happened to Chim - it’s an echo of the outfit she wore when investigating Eddie’s shooting back in season 4 - a key parallel considering we get a lot of other costume parallels this episode!

Buck and Eddie

Again we're doing these two back to front, - the above picture shows them during the search for Chim and we have the very loud and obvious green and blue pairing in parallel to Bobby and Athena. its setting them up as a unit.

I am still not over getting Buck in jeans - I probably won't be for a while, so get used to me screaming about them at every opportunity - because they have played a blinder with them - the fact that we get Buck in jeans here, along with his white trainers

The other thing that I love about these two costumes is the way they both play into their respective costume styles. We've only seen Eddie in his army geen colourway once so far this season when he found out Chris was seeing multiple girls, and this is the first Henley we have him in - when he is normally king of the Henleys - this indicates where Eddie is at - ready to go to war for his found family, in the same way Athena is, but also that this is a comfortable state for him.

Bucks bright cobalt blue plays into his blue theme thats been building over the last season and a half - its telling us he's in a good place, more settled (in relation to Tommy not Chim being missing!) and its an indicator of his loyalty and trust, but the main thing about cobalt blue specifically is that its considered a colour of enlightenment - so continues the theme of Bucks bi awakening being about him becoming enlightened!

Buck and Eddie being the only ones to have got dressed up to the 80's theme is all about showing them as a solid unit - they will feed off each others energy regardless of what it is. this is them being best friends best friending and being completely oblivious to everyone else - especially Chim's lack of enthusiasm.

The pink on Eddie plays two fold - it plays into the innocence and naivety theme the costumes are giving us this season - slotting Eddie into that narrative more firmly than just having Marisol wear it in episode 1 - it ensures that theme continues past the intial reveal that she was a novice nun - this is important because it reminds the audience subconsciously about that plotline. I don't expect to see him in any more pink this season, but I have a feeling we might see Marisol in more pink down the line as their arc unfolds.

I am interested to see how it plays into the guilt aspect though - the pink we've seen on other characters in other plots have revolved around feeling guilty - Lola being in pink when her cheating on Norman is revealed, and his innocence in it all as that plot is playing out having him also in pink. It suggests to me that we're going to get something relating to guilt - beyond catholic guilt - sitting pretty heavily in Eddies arc for the rest of the season!

(popping back in to finish this meta and now I'm screaming at myself for not connecting more dots earlier - I was so so close to connecting the mall - so close!!)

So we have buck back in white - a key indicator that things are going to go wrong - mirroring all the other times Buck has worn white and either ended up in the middle of a disaster (tsunami!) or in some kind of trouble. The trouble here is obviously that Chim didn’t turn up for his bachelor party and has gone missing. It’s an indicator of the seriousness of the situation because Buck doesn’t wear white when it’s a trivial thing going wrong.

Then we have his greenish beige double breasted blazer - I have spent so long trying to figure out what colour this jacket is supposed to be and I’ve decided to trend towards beige with a green undertone. Beige is considered a trendy colour and is therefore its meaning suggests forward thinking and fashionable (don’t ask me why I have zero idea!!) the irony of buck being in beige is that it’s also considered the antithesis of intoxicating, The green undertone has the same vibe as the green shirt he wore to donate his sperm - and so there is a similar vibe going on here - that idea that things are going to go very awry, but will untimately end in sucess!

I've included a couple of stills below of Crocket and Tubbs - just so you can see how perfectly the wardrobe team managed to create the vibe of them - as the same time as making both of them both Crocket and Tubbs - because they have elements of each of them in their costumes - which is just genius!!

one final little nod to a fun thing the costume team have done - calling back to Bucks Coma dream costume - when he was a teacher - like his parents - by dressing Margaret in a blue version of the same outfit!!

Sorry this was so late and not as in depth as some of my other meta's - but I got there in the end and I hope you enjoy it!!

Off to write 7x07's meta now!!

Tagged people below!

@theladyyavilee @mistmarauder @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @bewilderedbuckley @spotsandsocks

@bewitchedbewilderedbisexual @rogerzsteven @wanderingwomanwondering @oneawkwardcookie @leothil @copyninjabuckley @shammers86 @crazyfangirlallert @missmagooglie @katyobsesses @radiation-run @gayandbifiremenofmine @bi-moonlight @crazyaboutotps @princesschez75 @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @sherlocking-out-loud @satashiiwrites @lover-of-mine @yramesoruniverse @extasiswings @favouritealias @pop-kam @b-dwolf

[marveldc-imagines-hub]

Subtitles: Episode 1, Filmed Before a Live Studio Audience

Subtitles Masterlist

Summary: [Y/N] has been living in Westview for more almost a month now and yet to properly put down roots. What they hadn’t been expecting was to work so much, have unpacking be so hard, and for a new couple to move in the other house for sale, directly across the street.

Word count: 8,425

Warnings: Sit down and grab a snack because this one’s a bit long! Otherwise nothing, really. Maybe second-hand embarrassment caused by a thirsty Reader.

~~~

    Ever since you left both home and family behind some years ago, you’ve always felt a little out of place in the world. It was a hard time for you, leaving everything you knew behind and instead branching out and trying to find your place in the world. Actually, not only was it a difficult time in your life, but a confusing one; when you attempted to reflect on those memories, all you get is a head of foggy feelings, including a particularly sick sensation that leaves you out of commission for the rest of the day if you’re not careful.

    When you settled in Westview, it was like a breath of fresh air. Finding a home in a nice neighborhood was easy and the moving was done in a pinch thanks to a local moving company helping you get the boxes to your door, though you couldn’t afford to pay for them to do more. You were even lucky enough to find a street with not one but two open houses to pick from; you chose the smaller, more modest abode, as you had no family in town and no intention of getting married or starting a family any time soon. Despite this lack of them nearby and generally solid memories, though, you knew you had a good relationship with your family because as soon as you found a place, you were receiving housewarming gifts and postcards and letters from not only your family but close and extended relatives alike. Needless to say, it didn’t take long for your new house’s already installed fridge to be covered in pamphlet-worthy pictures of places across the nation and kind words from your mother, grandmother, and cousins. 

    There was still unpacking, now of both the furniture and gift variety, that needed to be done before anything else. Then there was the question of a proper source of income—while the money you received from your relatives would cover a month or two while you got yourself settled, you suspected there wasn’t going to be anything else for a long while and, either way, you wanted to be able to fend for yourself. Finally, after the necessities were dealt with, there was the matter of making your house and the neighborhood your home and by making some connections; while you were perfectly content living alone, it would be nice to not feel like such an outsider, to have friends to go out on the town with or take the occasional trip with on the weekends. These were normal goals, you figured, and, with as easy everything else has been so far, they should be simple enough to complete.

    Right?

    Well, at least getting a job was easy enough, you thought as you sat on the stack of boxes that, over the last month, had become a chair by the door that you used to pull on your shoes before work, as you were doing now. It also functioned as a coat and hat rack, as proven by your growing collection of jackets and headwear piled on it, and the occasional bookshelf after a trip to the local library. It used to be a place to hold your keys but you have yet to make that mistake again after sitting down one day and getting a sharp jab to the backside. 

    You were right that getting a job was easy enough—you received a callback for a secretary job at a computational services company only after a week of job searching—but you had yet to follow through with your other aspirations. It’s not like you haven’t tried, but when it came to unpacking, your job left you with very little energy to do much other than collapse on a couch-shaped collection of boxes when you get home and only a semi-decently decorated bedroom to show for your work. In terms of bonding with the locals and making some friends, let’s just say that Dottie is convinced you purposely spilled red wine on her perfect white parlor gown—who wears white when drinking red wine?—and now all you received from the neighborhood husbands were side-eyes and grumbling after telling them you found their attempts at humor in poor taste. At least you’d managed to charm your boss and his wife when they came over for dinner and now Mr. and Mrs. Hart invited you over for the occasional drink and gossip; Agnes, a woman from across the street and down a house, was also among your few successes, and she was a hoot to be around in a big sister or wine aunt type of way, despite her loudness. 

    Speaking of which—

    “Hey, [Y/N],” Agnes hollered from somewhere outside, “haven’t seen you out of the house yet! Better hurry up, the streets are antsville today! Or, at least, you could come with me to say welcome the other new neighbors!”

    Agnes came knocking on your door the same day you moved in and since then, she’s apparently committed your daily schedule to memory because if you’re not heading to work right on time, you get a holler from across the— Wait. New neighbors? You hopped up from your boxy perch after making sure your shoes were secure and peeked out the nearest window. Sure enough, the other house that you had considered moving into, the one immediately across the street from your own, no longer had a FOR SALE sign stuck in its yard and the yard and curtains appeared to have been decorated. Your heart lept into your throat as you wondered when that had happened; you desperately hoped that it hadn’t happened too long ago because you’ve been on a work rampage for the past few days and haven’t noticed much else. Yet another thing you haven’t done correctly. 

Agnes was also by the front yard, leaning against the fence and chatting with the mailman as he walked by. After he passed, she looked up and caught your eye, grinned, and waved. “Come on, [Y/N], no time like the present!”

You wanted to join her and introduce yourself to the new neighbors, you really did. Unfortunately, you would definitely get to work late if you didn’t get a move on, especially if the streets were as crowded as Agnes mentioned them to be, and you definitely didn’t want to greet the neighbors without a housewarming gift in hand. Perhaps you could stop by a shop on the way home and pick up a plant or a pie and welcome them this evening.

“Now, don’t flip your lid, Agnes,” you teased back with a smile as you walked outside. This response earned you a mock scowl, then Agnes’s smile again; you walked over to your vehicle and tossed your bag into the passenger’s seat. “I wish I could join you but you caught me; I am in fact looking to wind up late and I’ll be cruisin’ for a bruisin’ if I don’t leave now. I’ll try to stop by after work!” 

“Well alright then,” came Agnes’s reply, while you hopped into the driver’s seat and started your chariot up. “I’ll tell them you say hi. Congrats on no longer being the new guy!”

Too bad I still feel like the new guy, you mentally grumbled, rapping your fingers on the steering wheel. You took a breath, checked that your hair was in place and your shirt wasn’t wrinkled in the mirror and headed on your way.

“Oh, hello dear; I’m Agnes, your neighbor to the right! My right, not yours. Forgive me for not stopping by sooner to welcome you to the neighborhood. My mother-in-law was in town, so I wasn’t.”

Wanda watched the woman on her doorstep, visibly a bit perplexed but smiling either way. She was confused about what special event she and her husband were supposed to be celebrating tonight after seeing a heart on the calendar but now that she had an unknown woman—no, not unknown; one of her neighbors—here, Wanda couldn’t possibly be a bad hostess and turn her away. 

Not that the woman, Agnes, would have let her do so anyway. She shoved the plant she was holding into Wanda’s arms and walked inside, talking without giving Wanda any space to chime in. “So, what’s your name, where’re you from, and most importantly, how’s your bridge game, hon?”

Wanda quickly shut the door and trotted after the woman. She was newly stressed over the unknown event but now also giddy; this was the first neighborly welcome of many, she was sure of it! She reached Agnes’s side and stretched out a hand with a big smile. “I’m Wanda.”

“Wanda,” Anges repeated as if to see how the same felt on her tongue, before taking Wanda’s hand in a solid shake, “Charmed.” She paused, glancing around the house—Wanda felt an odd pang of anxiety—then continued, “Gol-ly, you settled in fast! Did you use a moving company?”

Wanda struggled momentarily for an answer. Of course, she didn’t; she’d used her powers to unpack and decorate quickly, but she couldn’t say that to this stranger. She decided to go with an affirmative answer as it was the easiest route. She went to reply—

“If you did,” Agnes went on, “I should get the name from you. Our other new neighbor across the way still has a house full of boxes!”

Wanda blinked, her head tilting to one side out of curiosity. “Other new neighbor?”

“Why the house directly to your front!” Without waiting, the other woman walked to the front window and yanked back the curtains; she gestured to the house in question. “[Y/N]. They live on their own, you see, and probably could have done well with the help. Actually, they were going to stop by with me but they were running late for work. I told them I’d tell you hi for them—Hi for them!”

The loud car Wanda had heard a few minutes earlier must have been this other neighbor rushing off to work. It was nice to know that even though it hadn’t happened, there had almost been a party of two to welcome her and her husband to the street; it’s too bad that he had left for his own job only a while earlier.

Wanda made her way over to the window as well and took a look. It was more modest in size and build than Wanda’s own home, much more suited to house a single person. Despite Agnes’s claim of them having not unpacked, a few lawn decorations were set up and a pair of [F/C] curtains hung neatly framing the home’s front window. Wanda could make out various boxes leaning up against the window, evidence to Agnes’s statement, but otherwise, the place seemed well-kept. The yard was taken care of, though Wanda wondered if it was because the person had moved in just as recently as she and her husband did or if they just enjoyed garden work.

Apparently, she’d wondered this aloud because Agnes responded, “They’ve been here for about a month, just been too busy making a good impression at work and making a fool out of themselves to the other neighbors to make their house a little more homely. Poor thing’s a darling but struggling in the social department.”

Wanda continued to watch the house as if this other, slightly older newcomer was about to drive back up the street to home. Consider her interest piqued. Wanda wanted to know more about [Y/N], all of her neighbors really, but more importantly, why there had been multiple houses open and if it was common. She hoped this neighborhood was as friendly as it seemed and that it wasn’t danger or unkindness that had made multiple people move out. She opened her mouth to ask—

However, Agnes had moved on to a different subject, as well as a different part of the house. “So what’s a single gal like you doing rattling around this big house?”

“Oh no,” Wanda, sighing softly, switched gears with her and replied, “I’m not single.”

You gulped down a gasp of air as you tumbled out of the elevator of Computational Services Inc, which earned you a few odd looks from unknown coworkers passing by. You’d bumped into one of them while skidding to a halt and you felt a blush creep up on your cheeks and ears and you stepped away, apologizing profusely. You tried to reach your desk in a quick but professional manner, only stopping briefly to make sure your clothes and hair were still in order in the reflection of an office window. As you got closer to your desk, a small thing in an area separated from other employees, you heard the comforting sounds of typing and radio music. You got to your desk, pulled out your chair, sat your bag down, and began to sit, only for a voice to catch your attention.

“Yes, as a matter of fact, there is. Would you be so good as to tell me what exactly we do here?”

A British accent? Not something you hear every day around here. You pushed your chair back into place to prevent another worker from bumping into it and walked over to peer around the corner. You recognized Norm, a kind and well-mannered employee that filled out computational forms in this section of the building, standing and chatting with a taller, paler, glasses-wearing man that you didn’t know.

The British voice spoke again and now, at least, you could put the voice to a face. “Do we make something?”

The British gentleman was very tall indeed and quite handsome. He had light wavy hair in a side part, with a sliver’s worth that looked like it could fall into his eyes at any moment; you felt the strange urge to push it back before the idea of running your hands through a stranger’s hair made you blush again. His suit fit his lanky body well, though you’d expect nothing less as Mr. Hart was very strict about his workers’ appearance. His tie was interesting, a dark color with a simple, lighter print of four spots, two larger ones encased in a rectangle, and his glasses framed his curiosity-ridden face very well. Above his lovely-looking, light-colored eyes, his brows were furrowed as he looked animatedly around, as though his workplace was a puzzle he was trying to solve. You noticed he talked with his hands quite a bit and you also noticed that his large, long-fingered hands seemed slightly out of place compared to the rest of his body. They seemed like nice hands, though, and they probably did their job well.

Goodness, [Y/N], now you’re just being ridiculous. You squeezed your eyes shut and pressed your head against the wall you were hiding around. No, not hiding, because that would make your creeping seem even more bizarre. Definitely not creeping. Investigating.

You shook your head to refocus and looked towards the men, listening again. He is a bit of a dreamboat, isn’t he though?

Norm was answering the man. “No and no.”

“Then what is the purpose of this company?” the stranger continued.

“All I know,” Norm replied with a smile, “is since you’ve gotten here, productivity has gone up three hundred percent!”

Three hundred? That was a startling thought, almost enough to give you a headache. So you’re the reason I’ve had more files on my desk.

The stranger picked up one of said files and flipped through it. “Yes, but what is it that we’re producing?” 

He’s quite interested in figuring out the answer to that question, isn’t he? You felt another pang in your temple. How strange.

Your brows knitted together as you, curious, leaned into the pain a bit. The pain seemed to follow the British employee’s questioning, so you focused on it.

What did they do here anyway?

The harmless pangs quickly turned into a full-blown migraine, similar to what would happen if you thought too hard about your past. You grimaced in pain and reached for your head, only to lose your balance completely and fall forward, into the room you were observing. You hissed as your knees hit solid ground and you braced yourself with one hand while the other gripped the hair closest to your temple. You tried to look around for something else to focus on but your vision was blurry and you couldn’t tell if you were even moving your head.

Then there was shouting, which didn’t help the throbbing pain at all, and you felt what seemed like a hundred pairs of hands grasping at you. You couldn’t understand the yelling other than recognizing the voices as male; you tried to tell them you were alright, shake the hands off and get yourself some space, but nothing in your body seemed to be working quite right. Because of this, the voices and the various hands—or was there just two hands?—didn’t know what you wanted and instead of space, they crowded you. You felt grips on your shoulders and arms, even on your back— Then you were being lifted. Completely off the ground or only to your feet, you couldn’t tell.

Then the hands—only one on your back and another pair holding your arm now—guided you to a place where you could properly sit.

It was quieter now and you could feel the floor beneath your feet and an office chair holding your weight. You realized your eyes were closed so you opened them and you found your vision beginning to refocus. You looked around. 

“Goodness, are you alright?”

You could feel how red your face was—it was probably bright enough to be used as a neon stop sign—when you found yourself staring into a man’s torso. A torso that was quite close. You looked up and directly into the face of the British man, who no longer looked troubled by curiosity but rather quite concerned by you. 

Oh, yes, definitely a dreamboat, you thought without really meaning to.

Then Norm came rushing over, a cup in hand. “[Y/N], are you alright?”

“[Y/N],” the stranger repeated. He took the water cup from Norm, who hovered nearby, and squatted down to be at eye level with you. 

You wouldn’t mind hearing him say your name again.

Good Lord, stop it, you almost passed out!

“That is my name,” you managed. You even managed a definitely awkward smile, a couple of seconds of definitely awkward eye contact.

“Here, you should drink this.” He offered you the cup and once you took it, he pressed the back of his hand to your forehead. “You’re burning up!”

I would imagine so, with how I feel. You sipped the water. Maybe you didn’t look as bad as you thought you did.

“Looks like you’re about to throw up too,” Norm very helpfully added.

Thank you for the commentary, Norm.

“[Y/N],” the other employee said, drawing your scowling gaze back from Norm, “do you have someone you could call? You look ill; perhaps it would serve you well to go home.”

“I’m fine,” you assured him. He did not look convinced but you pushed on, whipping up a quick white lie to cover up your jarring headache. “I didn’t eat this morning and I rushed to work to escape the antsville. I must have gotten overheated on the way and I’m sure an empty stomach helped that. Sorry for worrying—”

“What is going on out here?”

You both jumped to your feet; you moved too fast for having just recovered and stumbled but luckily both Norm and his colleague caught you and straightened you up before you fell over. No one wanted to be seen out of place by the boss and you were currently both out of place and sorts. Even though you knew Mr. Hart already saw you—hell, he was standing directly in front of you three—you glanced around for a place to hide. Instead, you saw files and papers scattered across the floor, the result of your migraine-induced fumbling. You groaned and dropped your head into your hands. 

“Well?”

There was a moment of silence. You felt Norm take a step away from you and you expected the other man to do so as well. He didn’t but you raised your head and squared your shoulders, preparing for the worst.

“Sir—” you started.

“Sir,” the British gentleman interrupted, taking a step forward. “[Y/N] here was walking back to their desk and tripped, and in my haste to help them, I knocked over a pile of files on my desk. I apologize for the racket and the mess I’ve caused; I’ll deal with it right away.”

Mr. Hart looked from him to you to Norm, who was quaking in his nice shoes, then back. There were yet a few more moments of quiet before he spoke again. “Vision.”

Vision?

“Yes, Sir.” 

You glanced at the man to your right. Vision. What an interesting name for an interesting person.

“You better hope dinner tonight goes well after this charade,” Mr. Hart barked. “This better be cleaned up by the next time I come out here.”

Rather than looking upset or stressed, Vision looked relieved. He made a heart with his hands and muttered, “Mr. Hart. Of course…”

“And you,” the boss’s glare now settled on your face. “You were late this morning. In my office. Now.”

“Dammit,” you muttered after Mr. Hart had turned his back. 

“Sorry, don’t think I can help you that one,” Vision chimed in. He was rubbing the back of his head and squinting at Mr. Hart’s back. “You’ll be alright?”

“Promise, it was just a bit of the spins.” You gave him a friendly pat on the arm and made your way to hopefully not get fired. “Nice meeting you!”

“You as well, despite the unfortunate circumstances. Good luck!”

    Mr. Hart was waiting for you by his desk when he entered. He gestured for you to shut the door before he sat and as you did, you saw Vision beginning to clean up your mess before the phone on his desk started ringing.

    “Ugh, I’m exhausted.” You were exiting a shop downtown, squinting against the light of the setting sun. You held the door open with a toe of one shoe while you adjusted the bags on your arms, then moved around to properly hold the door for Agnes, who strolled out after you. “Hart was an absolute villain today! Barks at me for coming in late and not getting work done but then does it for an hour! Well now who’s keeping me? Then this British gent—I swear I’ve never seen him before but he’s apparently the cause of my last few busy work days!”

    “The looker?”

    You blushed a bit; Agnes will never you live it down now that you’ve slipped up and said you’d found the man attractive. “I may have mentioned that earlier—but I digress! As charming as the man was, helping me out even after I knocked over a bunch of his things, he’s still a powerhouse of an employee. Tripled my load of work with his own; now I get what Norm meant when he said productivity has gone up by three times! Imagine, being yelled at by my boss—who was one of the few well-off relationships I’ve had since moving to town—for an hour, and then, when you finally get back to business, your desk is buried in files! I’m barely breathing at this point! Ain’t that just a bite.”

    “Who’s flipped their lid now?” Agnes said with a cheeky grin. You responded with a tired glare and she scoffed. She moved her own bags to one arm so she could give your shoulder a good pat. “Just teasing you, dear! We can’t all be superhuman, unfortunately. Although you’re damn near close; thank you for helping me home, by the way. Ralph had a last-minute “meeting” with some “coworkers” tonight and I’m helping out our new neighbor plan a very important date!”

    That’s right, you had a new neighbor across the street. You’d almost forgotten. You knew there was a reason you’d felt the urge to pick up a small houseplant on your way through the checkout.

    “You have the mouth of a sailor, ‘Nes,” you quipped, cracking a grin.

    “And a drinking tolerance that would put any soldier to shame!” Agnes agreed with a short laugh. After a quick pause, she added, “It’s not like I said ‘fuck.’”

    That time both of you laughed and for the first time since your disastrous day, you felt yourself relax. After bringing up sailors and soldiers, Agnes lept into one of her half-complaint, half-stories about how, one time, her husband Ralph got drunk and tried to fight an entire bar—“Everything including the stools!” While she talked and you escorted her to your car, your mind wandered, curiosity about your new neighbors piqued again. You reached the sidewalk’s curb and helped Agnes stepped down, then opened the vehicle’s passenger door and took her bags. 

    Instead of sliding inside, Agnes watched you as you moved around to the other side of the car and put the bags in the backseat. “You’re a bit of a flutter bum yourself, dear. Look at those manners; you’ve been out and about all day and still came to help me with the groceries! And that voice! Absolute apple butter sometimes, when you want it to be. I’m surprised you aren’t already circled with a couple of children along the way!”

    You snorted as you opened your door and slid behind the wheel. “Just not in my plan, I suppose.” You gestured for her to join you in the car and started it up when she did so. “You didn’t see me today either. Creeping around corners, then these annoying headaches got to me and I was stumbling around knocking down everything! Not to mention the new guy, sweet as pie, saw me do all this and go absolutely red just from looking at him. Sweating, cottonmouth, everything. I must have seemed bonkers! It was awful.”

    Agnes offered, “I’m sure it wasn’t as bad as you think.”

    “I’m sure if he ever sees me again, he’s going to turn heel and walk in the opposite direction,” you stated. Then you shifted into gear, pulled away from the sidewalk, and turned towards home.

    You were in the one room in your house that wasn’t a part of the United Boxes, your bedroom, standing in front of one of the few pieces of furniture you’d managed to unpack since moving in. You fussed over your reflection in the mirror, pushing your damp hair from one side to the other, adjusting your tie one moment then readjusting it the next, holding up various hats and cardigans.

Your casual wardrobe was much more unique than the business attire you kept for work, which was generally neutral in both color and style. Tonight, you wore a collared button-up in a bright pattern of your favorite color paired with a tie that was darker in shade but equally bright in color, and you were debating between various cardigans in complementary colors. The pants you wore were more muted, a neutral color to go with the shiny black dress shoes and good quality belt that you usually only broke out for special social occasions. For a little more pop, you also wore a few colorful bracelets on each wrist and a ring or two. You even added a little more color to your still tired-looking face, despite you feeling much better after a nap, shower, and change of clothes. 

You finally settled on the combination of a brighter colored cardigan a more muted hat to pull your entire look together. Slipping the cardigan on and flattening out any creases, you flashed your mirror self your friendliest smile for practice’s sake. Then you gave yourself a twirl, craning your neck over over your shoulder to make sure everything looked just as nice from the back as the front. 

Now we’re cooking with gas, you thought. Hopefully, the neighbors think so too.

Satisfied, you made your way out to the living room where your outfit-appropriate handbag and housewarming gift waited. The young plant, a pachira, sat in a pot whose color accented the color of the house you were going to visit this evening as opposed to the simple white it’d come in. The pot itself wore a big ribbon bow that you’d attached yourself and sticking out of the soil was a card welcoming the neighborhood’s newcomers. 

Perhaps you’d finally make some friends tonight.

You picked up the plant-based gift in one hand and placed it securely in the crook of your arm, then picked up your handbag in the other and made your ways outdoors. It was a quick walk across the street and once on the neighboring house’s doorstep, you steeled yourself with a deep breath. You smiled, then frowned, then smiled again and repeated this a couple of times to make sure the first smile your neighbors saw wasn’t a strained one and raised your hand to use the oddly realistic-looking lobster door hanger.

Much to your surprise, however, the door opened before your hand ever reached it.

And there, in front of you, looking just as shocked as you felt, was your boss and his wife. 

“Mr— Mr. Hart?” you stammered, stumbling backward and almost dropping the plant under your arm. Remembering the last time you and your boss “conversed,” your friendly face twisted into more of a deer in the headlights look. “Mrs. Hart? What are... What are you doing here? You didn’t just move in, did—?”

“Is there a problem, Mr. and Mrs. Hart?”

Not only did you recognize the Harts but you recognized the British voice that came from behind them and the face that appeared with it. 

“Vision?”

“[Y/N]?”

The two of you stared at each other in surprise. That is until Mr. Hart cleared his throat; he and Mrs. Hart still stood directly in front of you, with Vision unintentionally blocking them from stepping back inside. You yelped an apology and stepped to one side, then had to catch yourself on the doorframe as you almost tripped down the front steps.

“Yes, that’s right,” Mr. Hart said slowly as he stepped outside, giving you a particularly unpleasant look, “[Y/N] here lives in the neighborhood as well. Say, you live directly across the way, don’t you?”

“Yes, sir,” you responded immediately with a tilt of your head in the direction of your home. Then you glanced over at Vision and raised the pot you held slightly for him to see. “I was just coming over to introduce myself and offer a housewarming gift.”

Mr. Hart gave a strained nod, clearly still out of sorts about your work performance today. “Well, we were just out the door after the first dinner with the Maximoffs.” He made it sound like having dinner with your boss, while important, was something more of a religious experience. 

You hoped Vision did well. 

“He did just fine,” Mrs. Hart piped in.

There you go, accidentally wondering things aloud again.

“Congrats!” you chirped in Vision’s direction. You noted that he seemed as uncomfortable being in this situation as Mr. Hart acted and you felt. Perhaps you should have just visited in the morning.

Out of the group, Mrs. Hart seemed to be the only one unphased. She gave your shoulder a friendly squeeze and complimented your outfit—the one that her husband eyed distastefully—then lowered her voice so only you could hear. “I heard about your little brawl at work today. Don’t get bent too out of shape about my husband’s behavior; he has to work the weekend and he’s about excited as a cat that doesn’t get fed on time. We’re still on for bridge this weekend, right?”

You always liked Mrs. Hart. She was a good counterweight to her ever so charming husband and she always made sure to make you feel at home here in Westview, even if you struggled to do so yourself. You gave her a smile and a nod. “Of course, ma’am. You look stunning tonight, by the way.”

“Charmer.”

As you were talking to Mrs. Hart, Vision settled things with the mister, and things finally seemed to be calming down. However, Vision was wishing the Harts a safe way home, and you gave them a “Good night!” and a wave while wondering if you should just go home yourself, when a clatter came from inside the—what was it?—Maximoff household.

A voice followed, “Vis? Is everything alright out there, dear?”

You felt yourself deflate a bit; you already forgot that Mr. Hart had mentioned Maximoffs. Maximoffs, not one Maximoff. You were somewhat disappointed that, from what it sounded like, your new dashing British acquaintance had a partner, not that it was a surprise. He must have had people throwing themselves at him at one point in his life before he settled on The One and they immediately got married and moved into their cozy-looking, bigger than your own, house. Or, perhaps, maybe he was the awkward one falling all over himself to impress the person of his interest and when they finally picked him, he felt like his heart exploded into a billion heart-shaped butterflies that found their home in his stomach.

Of course you were the only one on the block who was single and living alone.

You wondered if they had kids.

“... come in!”

You zoned back in from being lost in your thoughts to catch only the end of what Vision was saying. He stepped back from the doorway and held the door open for you and looked at you expectantly and, not wanting to make more of a fool of yourself that you already have in front of him today, you made your way inside, just hoping he hadn’t said anything important while you had been wondering about his romantic life. You felt heat on your ears and cheeks.

Vision, on the other hand, didn’t seem bothered in the slightest. Now that the Harts were gone, he appeared much more relaxed, leaning on the door with one leg crossed over the other and even smiling at you as you walked into his spacious and already unpacked living room. 

That was the first time you’ve seen him smile, you noted. He had a very charming smile, one of those that made his eyes smile too and seemed much more in place on his face than any other expression. 

Vision closed the door behind you as you looked around the space with mild surprise—how long have they been moved in? How had they gotten unpacked so fast?—then he gave you a friendly squeeze on the shoulder. It was then that you noticed more clattering coming from behind a door that you assumed belonged to the kitchen.

“If you’ll excuse me for just a moment,” he said, making his way to said door, “As you know, my wife and I just finished dinner with the Harts, and my darling Wanda is doing all the dishes. I’ll tell her to wait a moment and come join us! Do you drink fluids?” You must have looked at him oddly because then he stumbled on his words a bit before clarifying, “Alcohol? Or would you like water, juice?”

He certainly did talk with his hands a lot. You liked the way he clasped his hands and fiddled with his fingers while trying to untangle his words.

“Water’s fine,” you replied with a friendly smile.

Seeing that you weren’t bothered by his slip-up, he smiled back and made his way into the kitchen. Halfway through the door, he chirped over his shoulder, “Please feel free to take a seat! I’ll return momentarily!”

Being alone again for only a few minutes still had you beginning to feel the weight of the day’s chaos again. You placed your housewarming gift on the coffee table and rubbed where the pot had been digging into your arm, then wriggled your toes; because these were shoes for special social occasions only, something you didn’t go to very often, they weren’t very well broke in and your feet were beginning to hurt. 

The clattering in the kitchen had stopped but now the muffled voices of Vision and Wanda, which was somehow comforting. You looked around, taking in the classy but simple room. How on earth they’d managed to get unpacked so fast unless they used a company or stylist or somehow bought the place pre-furnished, you had no idea—well, you had a few, clearly. It was still surprising though. However they managed, you hoped your own living area looked half as nice. When you got around to it.

You perked up again as you heard the kitchen door creak… and then felt like your heart exploded into a billion heart-shaped butterflies that immediately found a home in your stomach.

If Vision was a dreamboat, his wife was a, well, literal vision. Wanda wore a dress that was just as simple and charming as the house she lived in, paired with a pretty necklace and pair of heels. Her curled hair perfectly framed her face and despite appearing as frazzled as Vision had when you first showed up at their doorstep, she wore a smile so gorgeous that your heart, which had apparently recovered from its explosion of butterflies, decided it preferred to do somersaults in your throat.

The pair of them were standing hip to hip with Wanda carrying a set of glasses and Vision a pitcher of water. They were chatting lightly about how well dinner went as they walked into the living room before turning their set of beaming smiles in your direction. 

Your body couldn’t decide whether it wanted to melt, tie itself in knots, or spontaneously combust. You decided to make it stand to properly introduce yourself instead.

Just living in the same neighborhood as these two was going to be cataclysmic. 

“Wanda, darling, this is my coworker [Y/N], the one I told you about earlier this evening.” Vision detached himself from his partner’s side and began snagging glasses from her hands to fill and place on the coffee table as she walked closer. “And [Y/N], this is my wife, Wanda.”

You and Wanda watched him hop around from her to the coffee table and back two more times with amusement, then Wanda looked at you and gave an incredulous shake of her head, offering her hand. “Hi, hon. Don’t mind him; he’s not usually this dancy but dinner with the boss was a bit unexpected on both our parts. I had to pull something together last minute and he’s trying to make up for it.”

“You did so much in such a short amount of time,” Vision added, finally settling on the couch beside Wanda after the two of you shook hands and got seated. “You deserve a break. I can handle filling a few glasses and doing up the dishes.”

“Speaking of which, I hope you got a break yourself, [Y/N].” Wanda’s comment and concerned look made your eyebrows raise with confusion. She elaborated, “Vision mentioned covering for you at work today.”

You flushed slightly and rubbed the side of your neck. Vision noticed and gave you an apologetic look.

“Oh, yes,” you replied, “I get these awful migraines sometimes. One just happened to hit me at a particularly bad time today and I fell and knocked over a bunch of files. Your husband was an angel, did something he absolutely didn’t need to do and said it was all his fault.”

“And yet you got punished anyway,” Vision said, still looking apologetic. He wrung his hands a bit as well; you wanted to hold them to make him stop.

Wanda did instead, giving him the sweetest smile in the process. 

“But if it weren’t for you,” you chirped, “I may have just gotten fired. So I have to thank you for that. And I can’t imagine how that may have affected your dinner tonight, if I had known you were having the big boss dinner tonight, I wouldn’t have let you. I’m so sorry, by the way, for barging in immediately after your dinner, too; you two must be exhausted!”

“Oh, nonsense,” Wanda piped up again. She patted you on the wrist; you kind of wished she’d left her hand there but she went to pick up her water instead. “Dinner went quite well actually, if not a bit ill-planned. We had a bit of a misunderstanding of what the calendar said.” She gave Vision a playful glare and he responded with a bashful smile that he tried to hide by running a hand over his face.

“I drew a heart, for Hart,” he explained. “We forgot and thought we missed an anniversary instead.”

You thought back to when Mr. Hart mentioned the dinner at the office and Vision had made a heart with his hands, then tried to suppress a grin of your own. “That’s an easy misunderstanding. Happy to hear I’m not the only one good with planning, though, no offense.”

“Well, maybe you two should be married.” Wanda glanced between the two of you, the playful look in her dark eyes paired with her suggestion making your throat dry.

“You couldn’t remember it either, darling,” Vision countered, giving her a peck on the forehead, “If that’s the case, maybe all three of us were meant to be.”

You went to swallow and ended up having to suppress a choke. You reached for your glass, only to see it empty—when did you do that?—but Wanda was quick to refill it.

You gave her a sheepish smile and soft “Thanks” in return, took a drink and decided to play along. “That would explain why we ended up living directly across from the street and why I’ve been single almost my entire life.” 

You mentally kicked yourself for mentioning that last part and coming off way too desperate. However, when you glanced the couple’s way, Vision was chuckling, and Wanda was giving an understanding nod with a pleased look on her face. Maybe she thought her joke was going to hit wrong? Maybe it hadn’t been a joke?

Don’t get your hopes up, you thought.

Then Wanda spoke again. “You must be joking. You’re living on your own in that house?”

    You shrugged and responded, “I have a fish.”

    “I’m sure they’re wonderful conversation,” Wanda quipped back. 

    “No romantic interest in sight?” Vision asked. 

    Well, I wouldn’t say that but I’m certainly not going into that right now. You shook your head and decided to shift the conversation to a topic that was less likely to make you feel, if either or both of them did happen to ask you to marry them at that very moment, as if you would immediately throw yourselves at them. “Speaking of houses and all that, what a coincidence that we happen to find each other living next door the same day we meet. That’s what I originally came over to do, introduce myself to my neighbors and give you a housewarming gift.”

    You gestured to the pachira on the coffee table and Wanda reached over to touch its leaves, then used Vision’s still-full water glass to water it. “That’s right. It is a lovely plant, thank you very much. I think it will look nice in the kitchen, or perhaps over by the window.” 

    “It’s supposed to bring good luck to the house,” you offered, “and red ribbons are often associated with it but I’m not sure why.”

    “Well here’s to good luck then,” Wanda said, clinking Vision’s empty cup with your half-full one. She read the card you’d attached, smiled, then picked up the plant and offered it to her husband. “Here, dear. Since you’re taking on the role of house-husband tonight, why not take this and see how it looks over by the window.”

    Vision was already standing and taking the plant from her hands before she finished her sentence. “Of course, darling. Tell me where you think it looks nice.” Then he added to you as he walked by, “I may be skilled many things, like filling out computational forms, but the interior decorating is all her. I’m practically color-blind. And furniture-blind. And generally design-blind. Possibly blind-blind, if I’m being honest.”

    Wanda rolled her eyes but she still giggled, then pointed out where she thought the plant would look best. It was off to one side of the window and she explained that she thought it would be visible from your window as well, and thus give both houses good luck. 

    “Maybe it will give me the luck to finally unpack and decorate like you two already have,” you pondered allowed, finishing off your water a second time; Wanda promptly offered to fill your cup again but you politely declined. “The two of you have been here, what? At least a few days now and your home is already made in the shade. I’ve been here in Westview a month if not more and I usually spend my time lounging on a couch made of crates and boxes.” 

    You noticed Vision glance oddly at his wife as he sat back down but Wanda didn’t seem to catch it. Still, she answered quite quickly, “We used a company.”

    “Ah.” You glanced between them but the strained energy that suddenly appeared just as quickly as it came when Wanda gave you another sweet smile and offered to write down the company name for you. “No need, I couldn’t afford it anyway. Thank you, though.”

    That response didn’t seem to please Wanda all that much. She pursed her lips in a way that looked partially pondering and partially pouty—it was a very cute pout—before leaning over to Vision and muttering in his ear. His attention was immediately drawn to focus only on her and they chatted quietly among themselves for a few moments.

    You suddenly felt awkward again and took to looking around a bit. You first looked at your feet and noticed how close one of Wanda’s own was to yours; in fact, the three of you were sitting so close together that her dress poofed out over your leg. Then you happened to look over at where your arm was resting across the back of the couch. Vision’s was too and you suddenly became keenly aware of how, if he were to start talking with his hands like he does, his would most definitely brush your own. You wondered if it already had while you were too engrossed in conversation to notice, then you wondered if you should move farther to the other side of the couch.

    You began shifting to do so when Wanda suddenly leaned back to her normal spot and grabbed your wrist. “Why don’t we come over sometime this weekend and help you unpack?”

    You blinked. She seemed closer than she had been earlier, or maybe it was just the fact that hand hadn’t pulled away yet. Her eyes were as bright and welcoming as they had been since you first saw them, eyebrows raised in what you could only place as eagerness, and you officially decided that if you were to look up the word “sweet” in a dictionary, there’d be a picture of her smile.

    You were so suddenly flustered that for a moment all you did was stare while you figured out how to talk again. When you did, you were surprised at confident your voice sounded when you replied, “Sure.”

    “Great!”

    Wanda and Vision looked equally excited when you looked at them both, which confused you before you remembered that you were only the second person from the neighborhood to visit them since they moved in. Thinking of it now, you were also feeling energetic from the conversation and not just because you happened to be sitting next to a very attractive-looking pair. This was the first time you sat down with people from the neighborhood and it did not only go well but you were thoroughly enjoying yourself; you also enjoyed spending time with Agnes but Agnes was just outwardly friendly to everybody and even if you ran out of things to say, she had enough stories to add filler to seven different conversations at the same time. Wanda and Vision seemed to be just as awkward as you, making unusual jokes that might not make it through and fumbling over themselves and on occasion just being awkwardly silent at times, but it was a weird kind of awkwardness that also felt comfortable, comforting. You felt like you were among friends. 

    Conversation flowed easily for the rest of the night. The three of you made plans to spend the next day at your place, unpacking and decorating and just getting to know each other better, then conversation shifted smoothly from one random topic to another. Wanda had a lot of questions about the neighborhood and the people in it and she and you swapped stories of first meeting Agnes. You were somewhat fascinated with Vision’s almost eidetic memory and couldn’t help quizzing him on random subjects but luckily, he seemed to be just as eager to answer. Wanda mentioned Vision’s ability to play ukulele at one point and he felt is was absolutely necessary to perform and after mentioning Wanda’s breakfast cooking ability—and your stomach grumbling in curiosity—she brought you to the kitchen and made the best breakfast you’d ever had, despite it not being morning, while Vision kept to his word and washed the dishes. Eventually, though, the night caught up to the each of you and you said your goodbyes, hugs included, at the door and you headed back home with a goofy grin on your face. 

    Upon getting home, you kicked off your shoes that you’d long since forgotten were causing your feet pain and went to your bedroom. You quickly stripped, put on your bedwear, and faceplanted onto your sheets. You laid there for a moment in comfortable bliss before turning your head and catching yourself in the mirror. Though looking utterly exhausted, it was mixed an almost childish happiness. You finally felt content in Westview, like you’d finally found your place. 

    You scrambled around to get under the covers and curled up. Quickly dozing off and still grinning, you muttered, “I think I’ll like it here.” 

[deanwasalwaysbi]

Dean’s Self Acceptance & Chekhov's Grenade Launcher

If you aren’t here for a deeper look at episode 12x22, metaphors, and Dean being bi, keep scrolling because we’re going to get into that holy hand grenade - Supernatural’s Grenade Launcher, the weapon that Dean has loved since season one but always got shamed out of using; shamed out of using UNTIL 12x22; an episode literally titled, ‘Who We Are’.   

After which Dean loses Castiel and goes into the Widower arc ... ok. ... Cool. I’ll just read nothing into any of that shall I?

(cont under the cut)

Okay first- ‘what grenade launcher? I don’t remember a grenade launcher?’

Dean has a grenade launcher in the trunk that we’ve never seen him use. It's been there at least since episode 1x02. He has assigned a gender to the grenade launcher, calling it ‘she’ like his car.  It has appeared multiple times, but one noteworthy time was two episodes ago when Dean was showing his arsenal to Max Barnes, the openly gay witch hunter, in 12x20. Mmmhmm, nothing to see there. Nothing about the slow progression of Dean learning to accept himself. Nothing about Dean opening his trunk up to a canonically gay man.

Dean often wants to use  it  her, but  it’s  she’s impractical,  it’s  she’s not stealthy.  The thing is unsafe, and other characters are constantly telling him no, put it back, don’t bring it, don’t use it. (See 12x05) 

When Dean lost his memory - when he would have seen no reason NOT to use it, one of the other characters reminded him with a post-it note: this thing that you want to do, that’s a natural instinct for you, don’t do it. (See 12x11)

[gif credit to @demondetox​ & ​ @shirtlesssammy​]

Okay, now that we have a bit of primer - let’s talk about 12x22.  There’s a lot to unpack in this episode.

Mary has been brainwashed and the boys have been locked in the bunker to die.  After trying magic and pickaxes (shout out to “goggles? goggles.”), Dean realizes it is time. Time to tear down his big concrete wall with something, "Big, Beautiful, and Dumb" regardless of what the British lady in the bunker says, and he's getting no more resistance from Sam.

"I have had this thing for so long, I have been waiting for the *perfect* moment to use this."

We've been seeing the grenade launcher for 12 seasons, and in how many episodes and they just happen to have Dean finally use it to break OUT by breaking DOWN walls in an episode titled ‘WHO WE ARE’?!  

Having torn down that wall with the grenade launcher, it becomes time to deal with other, less physical ones.  There are British Men of Letters to fight, Mary is still brainwashed, and there is no magical shortcut that is going to cut through. In a display of how far the characters have come, Sam is becoming a leader in a fight he originally wanted no part in [which the show will drop over and over for no reason] and Dean, well this one’s about Dean for me.

Dean fucked up his leg coming out ... of the bunker, I mean. Finally using the grenade launcher, it hurt, but it didn’t kill him.  An earlier Dean would have joined the fight at the men of letters compound anyway, prepared to die in a blaze of glory.  However, Dean has changed.  Instead he recognizes that going into a fight right now would be idiotic and he stays behind to fight with EMOTIONS instead of brawn.  It’s okay to Dean, and even his idea, to not go into the ‘manly’ fight.  Dean has become secure in himself enough to volunteer to go into the battle that requires being open and honest about feelings.  He initiates the hug and feelings talk with Sam, (only undercutting a lil with a classic 'bitch' 'jerk' call response). No chick flick moments indeed. 

So Dean and Sam hug, Sam promises Dean he’ll come back, and we move on to the most important scene in the episode. Dean has broken through mind control with feelings before, with Cas in season 8 episode 17 when we had the infamous ‘We need you. I need you’ moment (though apparently Jensen Dean  was still guarded enough that this was not an ‘I love you’.) but this time Dean goes into Mary’s psyche; Mary who has been a stand in all season for who Dean was emotionally before his character growth.

The viewer is expecting some big declaration of love, that’s how dean broke through last time.  But no. That’s not what we get. 

Dean finally lets out his true feelings. About his childhood. About John. About Mary’s death.  About everything that has ever happened to Sam. The walls are coming down.   Dean is honest with someone about the resentment he feels (which should be directed at John) about the responsibility that was put on him as a child.   In sharp contrast to his reaction to Mary’s guilt at the beginning of the season, of Dean as the perpetual caretaker, now Dean gets to acknowledge his own feelings, that he does blame Mary and her deal for what they went through.  Watch this scene.  He hates her and he loves her. okay. 

Yes, Dean got to use the grenade launcher, but it wasn’t in a climax of some epic battle.  It was in the ramp up - the beginning of an episode.

No, the climax of the episode was Dean comin to terms with feelings the character has had since season one.   We’ve been looking at this grenade launcher for 12 years, but we’ve been witnessing Dean’s feelings here for just as long & Dean takes his emotional predecessor, Mary, along with him. 

I will skip past the fight scene between him and ketch - which is actually impressive given the horse tranquilizer he’d been given.  Instead, I want to get to 12x23, to his reunion with Castiel. 

Dean has used the grenade launcher. Dean has accepted himself and admitted something to himself that you can’t even really see until you look back at this episode’s placement retrospectively.  Dean is no longer trying to fight with Castiel, he just wants to help him.  Castiel heals Dean’s major knee injury and Dean, well we get an interesting jacting joice: 

in fact, the moment continues with a lil half smile and Dean looking down and checking his knee, I’m just having trouble getting a gif or a video to make one from.  Throughout the entire episode Cas routinely addresses Dean specifically despite being in a group at all times. Cas later makes a run at Lucifer and Sam wrestles a yelling concerned Dean away and back through the rift, just as Dean wrestled him away from Jess in the pilot.

At the end of this episode Cas is killed in front of Dean, who for the first time doesn't continue on in the fight, instead dropping to his knees. This all flows right into Dean’s intense season 13 widower arc.   Dean feels Cas’s death in a way we have never seen him grieve before. 

Ho.ly.Shit.

"Who We Are". 

It gets another use later in the series in the same episode where Dean also wears a live action version of the pink sleeping gown he wore in scoobynatural, but we’ll get to that later.

[sttngfashion]

5.26 and 6.1 - Time’s Arrow

Oh my god. Y’all. It’s a new Fashion It So post. In the year of our Picard 2020. Yes.

For literal years, Charlie and I have been like UGH WE NEED TO DO TIME’S ARROW PARTS 1 AND 2 BUT IT’S JUST SUCH A MONSTER.

Well, I’m doing a complete rewatch of the series with my partner and we just got to these two, so IT IS TIME. 

We open in a cave in San Francisco, where Data and Picard are checking something out:

Rent for the cave is $6,000 per month

Showing them around is this guy in a Science Outfit:

He’s ready to go night biking

We’ve seen this look before in both Silicon Avatar and Devil’s Due, and it’s functional, yet cute. Basically a windbreaker in jumpsuit form. 

They find a couple of items in the cave, including a pocket watch from 1889 and also:

I left my head in San Francisco

IT’S DATA’S HEAD!!! And it’s been there for FIVE HUNDRED YEARS. What could have caused this? And why is Data’s head so absolutely terrifying?

Is that fondant

This head is, in a word, haunting. The 2020 of heads. 

Data and Geordi chat in Ten-Forward about what the presence of Data’s head in the cave means. Data says it means he’s mortal; that someday he will die, and that’s comforting. Spoiler alert: that’s not what it means. But it’s a nice conversation.

Also, Guinan is here!!!

Merlot My God!! 

Or maybe: Burgundy-lightful!! Or perhaps: De-Crimson-alize Sex Work!! Okay that last one was a stretch but I really think I missed my calling as a nail polish shade namer. 

Anyway, she’s here in her classic look of a pizza-sized hat and a flowing gown/coat/top/robe. The collar here is a little too close to a mock turtleneck for my liking and honestly - this is a little staid for our friend Guinan. I want a TEXTURE or a SWEEP or some WIDE RIBBING or some PLEATS. Don’t worry, though...she will get plenty more later.

Then there’s some plot which frankly we DO NOT HAVE TIME to get into but let’s just say: the away team goes to a planet, there’s a temporal disturbance, and Data ends up here:

Huge mood

Where are we? Or should I say WHEN are we??

Well that old-timey font is a good clue...also the horse

Are we in the Old West land of an off-brand Disneyworld? Are we going to ride something called Large Lightning Mesa Train Tracks? What colorful characters will we meet here?

Winner of 1893’s Mustache Medal

This type of ‘stache is called a Fu Manchu, after the character Dr. Fu Manchu. It’s not...a great look? But it is memorable, which is sometimes enough. He’s also wearing a simple black cap, probably made of silk. He’s keeping it cazh.

So where are we?

SAN FRANCISCO, OPEN YOUR GOLDEN GATE / YOU’LL LET NOBODY WAIT / OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR

Yes, it’s San Francisco. And it’s *eyes popping out of head like a cartoon wolf seeing a busty babe* 1893!!!! That temporal disturbance was...disturbing.

So who else do we have hanging out?

Please check out our Vaudeville act, Knit Cap ‘n’ Bowly

These dudes understand those famous Bay Area MICROCLIMATES, amirite? We’ve got a Henley. We’ve got a buttondown. We’ve got a vest. We’ve got a coat. No matter which way the thermometer decides to go, THEY ARE READY. Also loving the pop of forest green on Knit Cap’s knit cap. 

We also have a 49er:

No, it’s not Steve Young. I googled “famous 49ers” to complete this joke so if there is a more famous 49er please let me know

It’s a literal 49er. Since it’s 1893, this guy’s been hanging around in town for a while, and he’s also familiar with the layering techniques one must master if one is to conquer the Bay Area’s climate. He also has a kicky Colonel Sanders-type tie. He asks Data for money and gives him a few panhandling tips. He’s chill. We like him. But don’t get too attached if you know what I mean!!!!

Data decides he needs somewhere to stay, so he finds a hotel:

Brian.

Why is this so funny to me. Brian. Why would you name your hotel Brian. Brian!!!! I know it’s a last name but like...Brian. HOTEL BRIAN. 

This bellhop’s name is not Brian:

Where’s your hat, bro

He’s giving us a classic bellhop look, complete with too many buttons. He gives Data the very important information that there’s a poker game happening in the back of the hotel, which means: Data is about to be RICH rich. 

The poker game includes a few good looks:

Louie Anderson IS Wolverine IN a Lands’ End barn coat

Two plaids? Sir...I salute you

Colonel Sanders Goes to Carnaval

Data, of course, wipes the floor with them so hard that he wins their clothes:

Didn’t get that barn coat tho

Yes, that’s the actual vest and the actual hat of those guys from the previous scene. Oh, I love it. I love Data in a vest over his uniform and I love Data with a feather in his cap. Let’s call it macaroni.

Meanwhile, out on the street, the plot is happening:

Beige: inescapable

This is our first taste of the decadent 1890’s sleeves that appear in this episode, and these aren’t even the best sleeves!! These are an amuse-bouche of sleeves. An armuse-bouche, if you will. 

Anyway, these two are aliens disguised as humans who are here to steal the 49er’s life energy. 

Pew pew pew

I told you not to get attached!!!

Back on the Enterprise, Guinan is doing mixology:

She would never call it something as stupid as mixology though

She tells Picard that he needs to go check out the temporal disturbance, too, even though captains don’t normally go on away missions, and then she gives him this look:

It’s that serious

When Guinan looks at you like this, you do what she says. 

Now this outfit is much better than the earlier one. We have some pleated sleeves, which I didn’t even think was a thing you could DO. We have some sort of functional(?) strap(??) across the front. We even have matching fingerless gloves which always make a look A LOOK. And if Picard wasn’t sure whether he needed to go on this away mission, she then gives him THIS look:

Okay now it’s REALLY serious

Back in 1893, Data is making something:

It’s actually just a really complicated and large music box that plays “I Left My Head in San Francisco”

He’s gotten his hands on some more period-appropriate clothing, including a bow tie and a vest. Since he’s not wearing arm garters and his sleeves appear to be the correct length for his arms, we can conclude that the shirt was custom-made, not ready-made, because Data is now a baller due to his poker earnings. 

Then, Data sees this in the paper:

I know her!! From work!!!!

Yes, it’s Guinan. In 1893. In a hat!!!!

We cut to the literary reception, which is honestly not as well-attended as I thought it would be, considering it got a GIANT photo of Guinan on page THREE of the paper, but okay. And who should we spy there but:

You’ll love my secret blend of 11 herbs and spices

No, it’s not Colonel Sanders. (Sorry, I really have Colonel Sanders on the brain because of that Lifetime movie.) It’s Samuel Clements, AKA Mark Twain. I had an English teacher in high school who explained the origin of his pseudonym (it indicates a mark of two fathoms, aka twelve feet, on a steamboat) and for some reason she shouted MAAAARK TWAAAAAIN when she told us that story so now her delivery of that line is in my head until I die I guess.

Anyway, it’s Mark Twain.

He’s wearing his iconic white linen suit with a black bow tie, and he’s also wearing a lot of prosthetics, because the actor playing him (Jerry Hardin, AKA Deep Throat from The X-Files AKA Melora Hardin AKA Jan Levinson-Gould’s dad) (was that too many AKAs) (you get it, right?) didn’t look enough like Mark Twain, I guess? In conclusion: what if eyebrow wigs were a thing?

Twain is having a chit chat with “Madame Guinan,” who is wearing what can only be called a sumptuous gown:

It’s 11:30 and the gown is sumptin’ sumptin’

There are so many ELEMENTS to this look! First of all: the color. Royal purple. Fit for a queen. Appropriate. 

Then: those sleeves! These sleeves are known as “leg of mutton sleeves” because they KIND OF look like a leg of mutton. Have you ever seen a leg of mutton? I haven’t. I’ve only seen these sleeves. Plus they have a stripe?? No, I don’t know why, but I LOVE IT.

The cuffs and the cravat bring this from “dress” to “lewk.” Top it all off with this hat and you have a true 1893 mood.

What bird is that feather even from

We get a few good extra looks in this scene as well:

Pink Lady is NOT wearing a corset

Look, sometimes you don’t have enough period-appropriate undergarments for all the background people and that’s fine. But I WILL notice.

Is that Loretta Lynn

I am loving all of this! That purple dress is fantastic, those stripes? I die. Military man has some fun flair on his shoulder, and there is a dude in a beautiful turban back there. Plus, another Black lady in addition to Guinan and That One Ensign Who Is On The Bridge Sometimes.

Data rolls in to the literary event in a different suit with a CRAVAT:

Craving a cravat

Data is like “we serve together on the same starship in the 24th century” and Guinan is like “huh” but then she’s like “okay” which...I’m not sure if I would believe that? But let’s just say it’s fine. 

Over in the 24th century, the literal entire bridge crew is checking out the temporal disturbance and I DON’T LIKE THIS AT ALL:

Blue Man Group...on ACID

These beings are like ghosts but also like Dr. Manhattan but also like pure energy. 

Then everyone goes through the temporal disturbance AND THE SEASON ENDS. 

Fortunately for you, this post will continue...right now.

Okay, so we’re back in San Francisco in 1893. You can tell by the horses:

Also the fruit carts

Samuel Clemens is strolling around with a reporter, telling him that he has a great story for him that involves time travelers and, like, protecting the nation.

Here’s the thing about this episode’s version of Mark Twain: he’s kind of a dick. Was the real Mark Twain kind of a dick? I just feel like Mark Twain should be JAZZED about meeting time travelers and not acting like a fuckin’ time cop* and trying to put the Enterprise crew on blast. 

Anyway I love his double-breasted vest.

See my vest

The reporter’s hat is technically period-accurate, but that style is SO associated with the 1930s-1950s that I would have gone with something else. He looks cute though.

Meanwhile, Data is wearing a three-piece suit:

My positronic olfactory synapses are interpreting something as...a fart

I hate brown, but this is fine.

Additionally, the beige baddies from before are back and this time, they’ve got a SNAKE CANE:

Love the snake cane, hate how they suck the life out of people

But we are not here for them, we are here to see our faves in period clothing. Our first look is at Riker, who is dressed as an actual cop, not a time cop like Mark Twain:

The past just had...so many buttons

I guess if you’re a time-traveling white man there are worse disguises than a cop. But WHERE DID HE GET THIS UNIFORM? I choose to believe that he found a cop with a similar large handsome body to his own and beat the shit out of him and stole his clothes. Now we can all enjoy imagining a cop being beat up.

The badge that Riker is wearing is a great historical detail; the SFPD started wearing them in 1886 and are reportedly the first law enforcement agency to have worn the seven-pointed star, which is now a common shape among sheriff’s departments across the United States.

But let’s move on to a better look: Dr. Beverly Crusher:

Curlz MT

Okay, now I have more questions. Beverly obviously wouldn’t beat someone up for their clothes, so where did SHE get HER outfit? And who did her hair? Did she do her OWN hair? Where did she get a curling iron? Does she know how to use a curling iron? Was it one of those ones that’s actually made of iron that you have to heat up in a fireplace? 

We will get answers to zero (0) of these questions.

We actually get a much better look at her dress later, so let’s focus on that cloak!!! I love it and I also love her hat. Okay, I guess I had less to say about those than I thought.

Bev and Will, along with the rest of the officers, have somehow procured a room/apartment in some lady’s lodging house. It’s cute!

They gave it 5 stars on AirBnB

This also raises questions. How did they get this room? How many bedrooms does it have? Are they sharing one large bed? If so, who has to sleep crossways at the foot of the bed and why is it Geordi? We will get zero answers to these questions as well, so let’s move on to arguably the hottest costume in this two-parter:

I’ll be in Holodeck 4

Whewwwwwww. He’s giving us a rolled sleeve. He’s giving us a casual tweed vest. The pants? They’re perfect. And he KNOWS how that slouch is working. It’s working VERY well. But the Irish landlady? She’s having NONE OF IT.

Absolutely NO nonsense

She needs the rent, but Picard charms her and she leaves. So I guess that’s how they got the room. Her look is knitwear-forward:

Eileen Fisher does sound like an Irish name

She’s got a shawl AND a cardigan! The cozy factor is OFF THE CHARTS. She also has a brooch, because a touch of fancy is always welcome. I will say that her hair is a little more fashion-forward than I’d expect for a woman of her age and station. This is straight up 1890s hair, and she would probably still be rocking an 1860s look, which isn’t as sweepy and would likely involve more braids. Still, she looks lovely. 

Geordi is also here looking dapper:

Make the collar as high as you can. I want to be sliced open by my own collar

You CAN go wrong with a three-piece suit, but it’s difficult to. He can’t wear his visor, so he has some kicky shades which we’ll get a better look at in a sec.

Back at the Hotel Brian (lol), the bellboy (who we learn in this scene is Jack London, inspired to be a writer by Mark Twain [citation needed]) lets Mark Twain into Data’s room and allows him to look around unsupervised. This is very bad hotel management. 

Great Scott

Then Data and Guinan show back up, and Mark Twain hides in an armoire.

One short day in the emerald brocade

I think one reason I love Guinan’s looks so much, both in the 24th and the 19th century, is that our color palette is very similar. We’re both winters. Bold jewel tones are the vibe. This one is in a beautiful deep green fabric with what looks like a velvet flocking pattern on it. The collar is also velvet, and I love that sleeve with a flounce on top like there wasn’t already enough fucking fabric on the sleeve so they just added a random piece to be like “yes, bitch. I’m a sleeve.”

Naturally, the hat is also jaunty af:

San Francisco’s hottest milliner is: Madame Guinan

This hat has everything: feathers, netting, a brim, an angle that makes you think it’s going to fall off but it doesn’t. We stan.

Meanwhile, Picard is setting up a sensor in a hospital while wearing a hat:

I’m bowled over

We haven’t even asked where Picard got these clothes, but I would like to point out that he’s dressed as a lower-class guy, while Riker is a cop, and Geordi looks like a gentleman. Was there even a discussion they all had about how they would disguise themselves? Was Picard like “I just really want to wear a beat-up bowler hat” and since he’s the captain, they extrapolated from there? This episode is NOT CONCERNED about any of this. They all have clothes, end of story. 

Bev even has TWO outfits!!

Hello nurse!!!!

I love this look. She still has her unlikely hairstyle happening, which means her nurse’s cap is sitting atop her voluminous hairstyle. (Not very practical, but realistic!) She’s sporting a simple striped dress and a button-on apron. (Look closely and you can see the two buttons holding the apron to the dress.) The fabric underneath might be cotton seersucker, but it’s likely a lightweight cotton or linen twill. You can see how closely her look matches these nurses from a similar time period:

Hello nurses!!!!

Deanna is also in this scene and this episode, but you wouldn’t know it from what she’s given to do. HUGE SHOCKER: TROI NOT GIVEN ENOUGH TO DO IN AN EPISODE. 🙃

She still looks beautiful:

Why aren’t capelets more popular

We never get a really GREAT look at her whole outfit, but I can tell you that it has a capelet, it’s in the red family, and the hat has a lot of business going on. For those reasons: approved. It has a flounce in the back too:

More fabric = more wealth

Sometimes I think about just how much fabric it took to make these old-timey dresses and I’m like...how did anyone get anything done?? It takes me like 4 weeks to finish a pair of leggings and those have like 5 seams and I own a serger. These historical bitches were sewing whole ass dresses in no time at all. 

Okay, so Bev is in this hospital and here come some more energy-stealing aliens, disguised as healthcare professionals this time:

I cannot take a medical professional wearing a LIGHT BROWN TOP HAT seriously, sorry

Bev AND this energy-stealing alien have BOTH managed to get their hands on the SAME nurse’s uniform?? I guess in the case of the alien, she is a shape-shifter, so she got her clothes from...that. And her hair. 

I hate this light brown top hat. If you’re going to wear a top hat, don’t DISRESPECT IT by making it BROWN, but if you’re going to make it brown, make it a good brown, like chocolate. Stupid energy-stealing aliens.

There’s a skirmish, the energy-stealing aliens disappear, and the real cops show up:

MOUSTACHE

Of course, the cops showing up is bad, because when has a cop showing up ever made a bad situation better? Never. Defund the police, but don’t defund handlebar mustaches. Those can stay.

Fortunately, Data has gotten a ping on that machine he was building before and shows up on a motherfucking HORSE:

Brent just wanted to show off

He’s back in his brown striped suit and red tie. Okay.

Everyone returns to the boarding house to suss out the situation, and we get a look at what Riker is rocking underneath his cop jacket:

Suspend me daddy

You can see very clearly here how the collar is not actually attached to the shirt. This was a thing people in the olden days did so they could wear their shirt for multiple days in a row and just switch out the collar and cuffs so they looked clean. As someone who is wearing the same sweatshirt for the third day in a row, I support this method. (If you’re interested on more info about collars, here is a very enjoyable article about them.)

We are also blessed with a better look at Deanna’s sleeves and bodice:

Black lace cuffs? Decadent!!!

You can also see Geordi’s shades, which suit him really nicely. One thing I’ve been enjoying on this rewatch is just how well LeVar Burton can act without having his eyes visible. He’s great. Let’s just all think about how great LeVar Burton is for a second

And also Bev’s dress:

I legitimately want this dress

I don’t think those buttons are functional. Can you imagine how annoying THAT would be? But I am absolutely in love with this dress. Two paisleys, Beverly???? A goddess. I’m also dying for that brooch with the chain. A+ look all around, great work.

Finally, FINALLY, Guinan meets the rest of the crew:

When you meet someone you won’t actually know for 500 years

She is wearing a hat that looks like a toilet paper cozy. Did your grandma have one of these? They’re so stupid and I love them so much. 

Picard and Guinan meet for what is the first time for her, but not the first time for him, and honestly it is...sensual?????

If I got a m’lady from P. Stew I wouldn’t even mind

Patrick and Whoopi truly do some nice work in this ep. But we are here to yell about clothes, so: LOOK AT THIS DRESS ON AN EXTRA:

Gimme dat dress

I just want that dress to wear around my house. I legitimately bought an 18th century costume dress to do just that, so don’t think I won’t literally do this.

OKAY, WE ARE ALMOST TO THE END. 

The crew, plus Guinan, go back to the cave where this all started:

Cave Club, the only club that meets in a cave

We get a nice look at the bodice of Guinan’s dress here and guess what: MORE BUTTONS. Buttons on the lapels, and also buttons on the front panel with the pointy top. I wonder if she has multiple front panels for that dress in different colors, like a Swatch watch. 

Unbeknownst to them, Mark Twain followed them!! Then there’s a scuffle with the energy-stealing aliens during which a few things happen:

Data’s head flies off

Mark Twain gets sucked into the temporal disturbance

Guinan gets hurt

Picard stays behind to make sure Guinan is okay

So we end up with Mark Twain on the Enterprise, where he sees Worf, and he’s like:

Buh-WHAT

Worf is also confused:

This is...extremely perplexing

We have a few more looks back on the Enterprise, including Regular Guinan:

ShoulderSpreads™: The Bed Spread for Your Shoulders

I love love LOVE this outfit. The color is perfect, the shoulderspreads are perfect, the front draping is perfect. It looks like a velvet housedress from the 1960s except FANCY which is kind of my ideal aesthetic. And it’s red (my fave). 

We get a quick glimpse at the barber uniform:

Bitch let me pass, idc if you wrote Huck Finn

This barber does. not. give. a. fuck!!!! 

Geordi reattaches Data’s head, the one they already had, which means this whole thing was a ding dang closed loop. The reattachment also kind of diminishes the whole conversation they had earlier about how Data’s head in the cave meant that Data could die someday, because...he didn’t. He still might, but his head is back and he’s fine now.

Meanwhile, Picard is still back in 1893 and they have to go get him, but only one person can come back through the temporal disturbance, so Mark Twain is like “duh I’ll go get him.” 

And finally Guinan and Picard can talk about how their friendship spans 500 years!!!!

Hey girl

Hey

YOU’RE WELCOME

*abolish the police

[princesssarisa]

How "Cinderella Monogatari" Could Have Been Better

I've just finished watching the 1996 anime series Cinderella Monogatari ("The Story of Cinderella"). I'll share my overall thoughts on it later, after I've overviewed a few other versions of the fairy tale. But for now, I'll say that I liked it very much. That said, it does have its flaws. Below are the handful of changes I would make to improve it.

1. Have Cinderella's father be presumed dead through most of the series.

It's awkward to have Cinderella's father still be alive, and not a weak henpecked husband, but merely away on business. Why would Duchess Dalbin so extensively abuse and degrade her stepdaughter knowing that the girl's devoted father will eventually come back? I would have preferred for the Duke to leave on his business trip, and then, a few weeks later, have the family receive the news that his ship was wrecked in a storm and that he's missing and presumably drowned. Only at this point would the Duchess start to abuse Cinderella. This could also add a layer of depth to the Duchess's character. She could be portrayed as genuinely in love with her husband and distraught by his "death," and afterwards she would exclude Cinderella from the family because Cinderella reminds her too much of him, similar to what the 1997 version of the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical implies. But in the final episode, the Duke would come back and reveal that he survived after all: he's just taken this long to recover from his injuries and find a ship home. So we'd still have the blissful family reunion the actual series gives us, but with even more emotional weight.

2. Give Duke Zaral consistent motivation.

I like the series' addition of a "Greater Scope Villain" (to quote TVTropes) in Duke Zaral. But at least in the English dub, his motive seems to change completely at random from "Marry his daughter Isabel to Prince Charles and become the real power behind the throne" to "Murder Charles and force his parents to surrender the kingdom." This could be easily solved, though. Simply place the episode "The Disturbing Painter" (his first real attempt to kill Charles, when he tries to have his portrait painted by an artist who traps his subjects' souls in the painting) after the episode "Traveling Toward Happiness" (where his daughter Isabel runs away with her true love) instead of before. Since the series makes it clear that Zaral really does love his daughter, it would make much more sense for his murderous turn to be caused by losing her, especially if he found out that Charles had helped her elope. To quote TVTropes again, it would be his Villainous Breakdown, and it would give him a real character arc.

3. Cut the episode "Prince Charles's Secret," where Cinderella and her stepsisters are forced to work as maids in the castle.

While of course it's funny to see the stepsisters forced to do the same chores they usually heap on Cinderella, the context is ridiculous. If a wealthy duke like Zaral wants maidservants to spy on Prince Charles, why doesn't he just pay real working-class girls to do it? Why on earth would he insult a family of his own social class by tricking a duchess's daughters into visiting the castle only to have them forced into servitude? And afterwards, why does no one ever mention it again? Realistically, wouldn't a trick like that cause a scandal? The whole scenario is contrived and would be better off cut.

4. Make Cinderella less of a damsel in distress.

Now there's no shame in a heroine not being a fighter or needing to be rescued. But it's still a tiny bit tedious to see Cinderella repeatedly being captured or endangered and Charles repeatedly being the strong one who rescues her. Even after he teaches her how to swordfight in "Lets Get Rid of Those Bandits," she never uses the skills she learned in that episode again, particularly not in the finale when she's captured by Zaral. I say remove Charles from some of the episodes where she's endangered and have her rescue herself instead. Have her use the fencing skills Charles taught her throughout the rest of the series, particularly when she's kidnapped in the finale. Not that she needs to use a sword, but at least she could defend herself with a stick or some other improvised weapon. In the climactic battle with Zaral on the clock tower, I'd have Cinderella and Charles fighting him together rather than just Charles. Again, I'm not saying there's any shame in being a damsel in destress, but it would be more interesting to see Cinderella defend herself at least a little bit more.

5. Have the stepfamily rip Cinderella's dress before the ball, as in the Disney version.

The scene where they rip up her invitation to the ball is already a blatant knockoff of the Disney dress-ripping scene, but without the same power. So why not take the imitation all the way and have them rip her dress as well as the invitation? This would also enhance the next scene where Fairy Godmother Paulette works her magic. In the actual series, the fact that Cinderella is already wearing a fancy gown and Paulette's magic just brings its style more up-to-date is slightly underwhelming. We lose the sheer magic of the dress transformation that other versions of Cinderella have. If her dress were in tatters, this would be rectified.

6. Don't have Charles fall in love with the "mystery girl."

Cinderella retellings that give Cinderella and the Prince most of their romance arc before the ball always have a dilemma: what to do with the plot point of the Prince not knowing his beloved's name or where to find her after the ball? Some versions have found good solutions; this one is mediocre. After his series-long slow-burn romance arc with Cinderella, it's awkward to see Charles become enamored in one night with the girl at the ball, whom he doesn't know is Cinderella. Even if it is just because she "reminds him" of Cinderella, whom he thinks will never speak to him again because he lied about his identity, it still seems ever-so-slightly fickle. I'd prefer to have him only regard her as a friend with whom he can confide about Cinderella. Then, after the ball, instead of being depressed about her disappearance, he'd be depressed because Cinderella "never showed up" even though he invited her. But Alex and Hans would mistakenly think he was moping over the mystery girl and set out to use the glass slipper to find her.

7. Give the stepfamily a gradual redemption arc.

Maybe this is what the series was trying to go for, because there are assorted episodes where Cinderella does especially valuable things for her stepfamily (saving Jeanne's life when they're lost in the woods, learning to swordfight and guarding the house against the bandits, risking her life to find healing herbs for her dangerously ill stepmother, etc.) and momentarily earns their respect. But in every new episode, they're back to abusing her. So in the last episode, it feels very abrupt when they start being nice to her after she's betrothed to Prince Charles. If it were played for laughs like in the 1957 version of the Rodgers and Hammertein musical, and they were clearly only sucking up to her because she was the princess-to-be, it would feel less awkward, but it's not played for laughs. It feels as if we're supposed to see it as a genuine, heartfelt family reconciliation, which is completely unearned. And then when Cinderella's father the Duke comes home, they all reunite as one big happy family and the Duke never even learns that his wife and stepdaughters abused his daughter while he was away!

My solution? Put much more emphasis on Cinderella's gradually earning her stepfamily's respect over the course of the series. Don't have them forget the great things she does for them; have call-backs to the fact that she saved their lives, risked her own safety for them etc. Show them increasingly torn between their jealousy of her and their growing respect and gratitude toward her. While they would still have a final "Kick the Dog" moment by tearing up her mother's dress and her invitation to the ball, I'd show them feeling very guilty as they ride away in their carriage afterward. Maybe Jeanne could ask Catherine if what they did was right, and Catherine would reply that they had no choice, Cinderella looked too pretty, the Prince would have ignored them if he had seen her, etc.; but clearly she wouldn't be so sure. Then, after Cinderella reunites with Prince Charles, there could be a scene similar to the opera La Cenerentola, where Charles would publicly berate the Duchess and her daughters for their treatment of Cinderella and threaten to punish them somehow, only for Cinderella to declare that she forgives them and beg her fiancé to pardon them. This would move them to tears and they would finally, profusely apologize to her for all they had done. And when the Duke comes home, Cinderella's choice not to tell him about their abuse could be emphasized as her way of showing faith in their repentance and giving them a second chance.

I realize that all this would probably take up more than just a few minutes of the final episode. So because we've already cut the earlier episode where the stepsisters work as maids at the palace, I suggest we add a new Episode 23, in-between the actual series' second-to-last and final episodes. This entire episode would take place between the slipper-fitting and the royal wedding, and it would open with her reunion with Charles and end with her reunion with her father. Everything in between would be devoted to her reconciliation with the stepfamily. This would be a much more believable, satisfactory conclusion for them than what the actual series gives us.

It's a good series, but with these changes, in my personal opinion, it would be even stronger.

[carmenxjulia]

Showrunner Duane Capizzi did an informal Q&A session with some fans in a CS chatroom. There are several question askers, all marked by name. Get some insider knowledge on the show, after the break!

Duane Capizzi:

Just checking things out! Feel like I'm poking my head through a door at a party I'm crashing haha.

Fun to see everyone hanging out and talking all good things Carmen

Can't stay long - I should have taken the code name "Crimson Phantom"

Crimson Phantom - I like the sound of that (if it's not already taken haha)

Carmen:

It's an awesome nickname! Personally I'm more of a Scarlet Santa Rosa person myself- I love that little interaction with Jules and Carmen in the special

Duane Capizzi:

Scarlet Santa Rosa! Yes, that was really cute between them. Too cute in fact.

Coach Brunt had some names for her too if i recollect

Arden:

Lambkins

Wren:

Didn't Brunt also call her Monica Santa Monica once?

Mage:

Yeah in the Boston episode

Also Josie San Jose

Arden:

I personally prefer Fedora the Explora

Duane Capizzi:

Josie yes hahaha

I can't believe we got away with Fedora the Explorer! I thought that would be noted but I'm glad we did. So funny!

Carmen is amazing! She "owns" whatever she wears, doesn't she?

Carmen:

She definitely owns Carmen Brand Outerwear

Duane Capizzi:

I'll share another tidbit though (along the lines of Carmen being a love story where everyone is in love with Carmen).

It was important for obvious reasons that the show be (among other things) about female empowerment. And we wanted to celebrate fashion of course. But it was super important to me to not fall into the "male gaze" trap. That was something I imparted to the storyboard crew and directors. It's a fine line, I know, but I think we succeeded.

Arden:

You sure did. What I adore about Carmen Sandiego is how unsexualized all the characters were while still being inclusive to different body types and races

Duane Capizzi:

Well artists love to sneak things in! So it was a little rule I had

They were mostly great about it - in all the 32 episodes, I think I asked to change only two shots for that reason. Where I had to go "ahem"

"Outerwear" sounds so peculiar but I think that's what made it work. I kept changing it back and forth and sometimes I'm surprised to see/hear it in the show. For the longest time it was "Carmen Clothiers." Did I make the right decision? Sometimes you can rework things too much and lose sight - it happens!

The one shot that leaps to mind was Shadowsan carrying her fireman style at top of 202, as they were escaping through the tunnels. Her, um, fundamentals were just a little too front and center to not fall into the "male gaze" trap. Nothing awful! It was borderline. We just adjusted the angle a bit

Julia:

My favorite most definitely has to be her formal wear from the "need for speed caper"

Duane Capizzi:

I'd have to think about my favorite outfit or top five. All her evening gowns of course!

Maybe "witch." We couldn't make it red because it would not have been a very good disguise (plus, you know: "Scarlet Witch" haha).

But let's not underestimate her signature hat/coat - I continue to be enamored with how we updated her look from the old trench coat thing.

Arden:

Not me suddenly motivated to draw Carmen in a scarlet witch outfit

Duane Capizzi:

Then you have to draw Zack as Pietro!

(or Player? Only his fingers are speedy)

Arden:

Idea: what if player (or Shadowsan) was Pietro

Duane Capizzi:

Shadowsan IS Pietro. He's so quick you never see him move.

Wren:

Shadowsan's fight with Brunt where it went slowmo and he moved fast was so cool!

Duane Capizzi:

Hey, Shadowsan is quite the fashion plate too - am I right?

I love the outfits on the show. So good! So perfect! But, I'm not being very modest am I

I really love SS in the dark trench coat. So. Bad. Ass.

Carmen:

Any thoughts on the Fashionista memory thing?

Duane Capizzi:

Fashionista, sure! What do you want to know?

Carmen:

Give me a second-

Duane Capizzi:

Thank you for noting the aesthetics on the show! Much effort, passion and vision from all involved - Chromosphere, our directors, animators, composers, sound mixers - everyone gave it all they had, it was so inspiring for all involved.

Carmen:

Was there any significance to that specific memory- Carmen defending Julia in the Fashionista Caper- being chosen as the first memory she remembered when she went outside? Like, why that scene specifically over any others for example?

(referring to the finale)

Duane Capizzi:

Oh, that! To be honest, not from me: we were just trying to do the "swirl of confused memories" like we did with Gray earlier in the season. We wanted to show that the ACME device had jostled some old memories loose and that "the girl agent with glasses" was now taking root in Carmen's rush of memories/emotions

But that specific memory, not necessarily from my POV - it could have been any number of Julia moments, like their first meeting on the train (for instance)

The director Jos Humphrey must have picked it. It worked for me!

Carmen:

We all loved that it was that specific memory that was chosen out of all Julia and Carmen moments, the fact that she remembered defending her was an added emotional experience to the already emotional finale

Duane Capizzi:

Well let's talk about the original scene in 204! On the surface just a light fun episode, but so many things came together there: Shadowsan connecting with Player; SS getting his new clothes; but the key thing was switching Julia back from doing Chief's bidding back to Carmen's side. The episode was built around the moment that Carmen pulls Julia on stage with her (I'm not kidding). That was THE moment

Carmen:

We have MANY questions... we should probably set a limit

Duane Capizzi:

Ask away - I don't mind. Honestly, Carmen is my favorite topic! I've been living, breathing, dreaming Carmen for the last 5 years! I don't think there's much to say, I think it's all there on screen. But happy to talk about it because I love to

Cam:

I have a question, what about the color theory in Carmen Sandiego? What do you think certain colors mean as in, blue, yellow, green, and red.

we have our own ideas about the colors but it would be interesting to hear from your perspective

Duane Capizzi:

Color theory! Well chromosphere color scripts every episode (!). If those haven't been shared publicly yet remind me, maybe I can get permission to do so or have them do it. They are lovely to behold.

But basically Carmen = red (duh); Vile = green; Acme = blue. That's the simple version. We started talking about that early on.

color scripts = they do thumbnail art of key scenes to share mood/emotion

we tried to NOT use red for non-Carmen scenes; and scenes where she was significant the color red would be dominant or sometimes symbolically precede her (for instance).

If you google color scripts I'm sure you will see some come up. Try Pixar color scripts for instance. There's a great Art of Pixar book with their color scripts.

Arden:

Do you think Julia is blue or purple?

Duane Capizzi:

Haha, Jules definitely purple! Cute.

Mage:

You've just confirmed the whole color theory these guys have been working on for a while.

Duane Capizzi:

I was actually being funny - is she actually color scripted purple in the series? Wow, my mind might be blown

Garfield:

Now I have a question!

Julia has great admiration and respect for Carmen. Do you think Carmen has as much respect and admiration for Julia as Julia does for her?

Duane Capizzi:

I think Julia might just be a little infatuated with Carmen (even if she hasn't fully articulated how to herself - remember, the show may be sophisticated but it's still a kids show). But mostly Julia just knows/intuits/deduces Carmen's a good guy, pretty much from the beginning. I think the two have a connection that defies space and time in some ways - look at how much they work in tandem without being in the same scenes together much of the time. I love that!

As for Carmen, of course she respects Julia: she knows Julia "gets" her, and respects Julia's smarts and mutual love of history/respect for cultures.

I love how Chase is the ultimate buzzkill for whatever might be stirring in Julia as she's watching Carmen fly away in the Pilot. She's like, "whooaa ..." Then Chase falls onto the windshield. Hilarious!

Nina:

I was actually wondering if Carmen and Julia were meant to have opposing color schemes? With Julia's original outfit I mean

Duane Capizzi:

Oh, good question about Julia's original outfit: I'd have to think about that or ask Jos or Chromosphere. J's colors ARE sort of a drabber distant cousin to Carmen's, aren't they? I think mostly we just wanted "drab workaday" colors for Interpol, knowing that both of them would eventually be slicked up as ACME Agents.

Nova:

Devineaux is immune to injuries it is the only reason why he has lasted so long in ACME and Interpol

Duane Capizzi:

Devineaux, one of my favorite lines: "I did not know you two kept in touch."

Am I right?

SelinIndigo:

I have one question:

Will we ever know Carmen's given name? Also, if you don't mind when is her birthday in this reboot?

Duane Capizzi:

Carmen's given name: never say never! But for where our series ended, I thought it would just interfere. That's not how I wanted you to remember her. It would have just been a label and spoiled her mystique IMO

Player, however: we totally messed with you! "Mr. Bouchard."

Carmen's birthday?

Hmmm.

Maybe month and day but not year: would hate to date the show

I also don't like naming ages in shows because it just gets weird with timelines and such. Or can be.

Carmen:

I made a post about this a while back— how did Carmen end up getting Julia's apartment address? did she just text her for it or straight up ask? did she find out on her own in the least stalker-y way possible? I just have so many theories- do you have any thoughts on it?

Duane Capizzi:

The apartment in the IA special? Oh that whole story was like one big dream sequence ;)

Arden:

What does the wink mean? Does Julia even live in an apartment?

Nina:

Does that mean Carmen dreamt she gave Julia roses or-

Duane Capizzi:

We played things faster and looser for fun there

Okay, I just saw what time it is. Yikes! Time flies when you're having fun. Well THANK YOU EVERYONE (for loving the show, for building this site, for being you.

[cosmic-hearts]

castles in the air | lee donghyuck | two

lee donghyuck x female reader

genre; enemies-to-lovers, friendship, romance, fluff, angst

warnings; mentions of alcohol and drinking in this chapter!

foreword; in which you might be a real-life princess with a prince promised to you right from the start, but you won’t be getting your happy ever after. 

<< previous chapter | next chapter >>

You stand before your wardrobe, faced with yet another clothing dilemma. You love fashion and dressing up, you really do, but sometimes it can be a real pain in the ass. 

If this were another soirée or evening function, you’d know exactly what to wear—that gorgeous Isabella Militao dress you’d been saving for a spectacular debut. That would be sure to make jaws drop; it was a gift fashioned by the loving hand of Aphrodite herself. 

But you’re going to a high school party, and you don’t think girls turned up in the latest garb fresh off the runways of New York Fashion Week. 

You think back to when Donghyuck asked you to go to the party with him (“because we actually need to seem like we’re dating”), and you asked him what to wear. He’d scoffed and you nearly socked him in the face.

“How would I know? Your parents literally own Seoul’s biggest fashion brand. And you’ll look good in whatever.”

If that had been a genuine compliment, you would have been flattered. But it was the tone in which he’d said it, that matter-of-fact, detached voice devoid of any tinge of personal belief or emotion that made it clear he was merely stating a truism, an indisputable fact. He might as well have said that the sky was blue. 

You eventually decide on a red sleeveless silk floral dress that stops slightly above mid-thigh. It’s not exactly the most modest article of clothing you own, but it’ll have to do. 

When you get in Donghyuck’s car, he doesn’t even glance over to see what you’re wearing, a stark reminder that this clearly isn’t a real date. You on the other hand, can’t help but sneak peeks at his outfit (it’s just the fashionista in you, you swear): a denim jacket thrown over a casual white button-up shirt and dark jeans. A simple look, but surprisingly he makes it work. 

You quickly look away before he catches you staring.

He drives in complete silence and before long you reach your destination. Upon entering the house, Donghyuck immediately leaves your side to reunite with five other boys; you have to stand alone for a hot minute and bear witness to the fist bumps, back slaps and bro hugs going all around.

“Who’s this?” One of the boys asks, his blue hair gleaming underneath the faux strobe lights. 

You open your mouth to reply, but Donghyuck beats you to it. “My girlfriend. Everyone, this is Y/N.” He sounds like he’s gritting his teeth while introducing you as his girlfriend, which makes you want to laugh; after all, he’s brought this upon himself.

“Hi,” you say, smiling at the boys, “it’s nice to meet you guys.”

“Hi, I’m Jaemin,” the blue-haired boy steps forward and says, flashing you a wide grin that sparks a curious flutter in your chest. 

“Did you break up with Sohui?” A brooding, dark-haired boy asks Donghyuck. It’s clear to see that he has none of that chipper energy Jaemin possesses.

Donghyuck’s gaze becomes shifty and he clears his throat awkwardly before replying, “Yeah.”

What a lie.

Before you can think too much about it, Jaemin whisks you all away for a game of spin the bottle. The consequence? 7 minutes in heaven. 

You’d heard of the game before but you didn’t think people actually played it at parties; it all seemed so terribly cliche. Looks like you were dead wrong, because once the bottle lands Jaemin and then you everyone’s in an uproar and you’re panicking because you really don’t want to lose your first kiss to a stranger, however hot he may be. Heck, you’d rather do it with Donghyuck; at least he’s a familiar enemy. 

Jaemin smirks at you and grabs your wrist, gesturing towards a nearby closet (god, the sheer disgrace you feel, what would your parents say?) and your heart starts thumping in your ribcage, the butterflies from earlier entirely gone. You contemplate breaking out into a sprint for the bathroom or just running out to the garage and driving Donghyuck’s car away into the night. You look over at Donghyuck, hoping that he can read your mind and get you out of this situation (you know he hates you but surely he doesn’t hate you that much), but he’s staring at you with a glazed expression on his face and you can’t believe he’s about to offer you up like a lamb to the slaughter, that asshole—

“I’ll do it instead,” Donghyuck suddenly stands and grabs your free hand, tugging you away from Jaemin. Without waiting for his response he drags you behind him to the closet, pulls you in and shuts the door with a loud slam. 

You release the breath you’d unconsciously been holding and start to sink down onto the cushions littered about in the dark, dank and cramped space, but then you stop short Donghyuck places a hand on your arm. He shrugs off his jacket and shoves it into your hands, whispering, “Your dress.”

When you two are finally seated, his jacket draped over your lap, you ask in a slight whisper, “What do we do now?”

At this, Donghyuck breaks out into a sardonic smile, leaning in close to whisper in your ear, “We’re not going to do anything. Don’t forget that I have a girlfriend, and if I kiss you, you might just fall in love with me. Can’t risk that now, can we?” 

You try to ignore the way his breath tickles your ear and the fact that it’s not an entirely uncomfortable sensation. You hate the way Donghyuck plays with you like this, as though he’s constantly reminding you that he will never be yours, arranged marriage or not.

You press yourself into your corner of the closet to get as far away as possible from him, before taking out your phone and instinctively scrolling through Twitter, your lifeline—it’s almost like a coping mechanism, the way you try to get lost in your timeline filled with pictures of the Albertine bookstore and 90’s Chanel gowns to try and forget the fact that you’re currently stuck in a musty closet with your childhood enemy. Donghyuck does the same; he pulls out his phone and starts typing rapidly. You figure he’s texting Sohui to complain.

Before long the 7 minutes are up and the boys are pounding on the closet door. You sigh; they sound like ravenous zombies lying in wait to chew you out when you emerge. You’re about to push the door open when Donghyuck puts a hand on your arm; you turn to face him with the most annoyed expression can muster. What now?

Without warning, he reaches behind you and pulls out the scrunchie that’s holding your hair in a high ponytail. You nearly yelp at him in surprise as your hair spills past your shoulders, utterly dishevelled (also, that’s a limited edition Chanel scrunchie right there) but he must have seen it coming because he places his hand over your mouth, quick as a flash. Leaning in close, he whispers in your ear, “We have to look like we just made out, idiot.”

You flash him an angry glare which soon turns into a look of sheer embarrassment as he unbuttons the first few buttons of his shirt, a sliver of light through the crack in the closet falling on his now exposed collarbone. You look away hastily, thankful that the darkness obscures the blush creeping up your cheekbones. 

He’s about to push open the door when he suddenly hisses, “Shit, I almost forgot the most important thing. I need to get some of your lip gloss off.”

Against your better judgement, you acquiesce. Anything to get out of this literal hellhole.

Closing your eyes, you feel a warm palm on the back of your head and you brace yourself. You feel his thumb running across your bottom lip in one swift but gentle motion, and when you open your eyes he’s swiping it across his own. 

The blush in your cheeks intensifies and you look away quickly. 

Finally, Donghyuck pushes open the door and a flood of electric purple light streams in. The boys whoop and cheer, and Jaemin invites you to sit next to him. You happily do so, desiring to be in the proximity of anyone other than Donghyuck—you might just combust with embarrassment if you sat next to him after that horrendous episode.

“Are you good at drinking, Y/N?” Jaemin asks, his smile as striking as his cobalt blue hair. He really is a heartthrob. 

“Somewhat,” you say, being deliberately evasive; you aren’t about to let him know that your tolerance was limited to dainty sips of Sauvignon Blanc or Chardonnay typically served at the high-end functions you went to.

“Great! Let’s play a drinking game then,” he says, winking, and the butterflies in your stomach make it hard for you to resist.

Over the course of the next hour, you find yourself in an endless cycle of drinking games—you weren’t bad at those games, and it wasn’t very often that you had to drink, but when you did, the single shot of soju burned your throat on the way down and seemed to erode your consciousness along the way. You can feel your cheeks getting hotter and hotter, and the laughing faces of the boys seem to pass by in a hazy blur. 

“Y/N,” a low voice chimes in your ear; it’s a stern, familiar voice. You frown instinctively; you have a pretty good idea of who it is, even if you can’t see him. “Stop it. You don’t have to keep drinking if you can’t handle it.”

You wave him off; there’s no way you’re drunk. “Who… Who said I can’t handle it? I’m no… lightweight.”

“Yeah… She seems to be managing fine, right Y/N?” Another voice, this one slurred and a little too mirthful to be sober. A flash of blue hair. It’s the cute boy, you think to yourself and smile.

“Enough,” the stern voice cuts in again, right when you are about to reach up and touch the boy’s hair, to see if it feels like cotton candy as much as it looks.

You feel an arm snaking round your waist, forcing you to stand up. Your head rests on something firm and solid; it’s almost comfortable, but you want to keep drinking. You have to prove that you can hold your liquor; you are Y/N, for goodness’ sake, and you can do anything you set your mind to.

But before you can open your mouth to protest, the world begins to spin and darkness swallows you whole; you have no choice but to fall into it without resistance.

—

This isn’t what Donghyuck envisioned when you decided to take you to the party. 

He didn’t expect to have to get stuck in a closet with you for a whole 7 minutes. He didn’t expect you to get dead drunk while slobbering all over Jaemin. And he certainly didn’t expect to be hauling you on his back to the front step of your house and having to present your dismally inebriated form to your mother. 

“I’m so sorry,” Donghyuck says, hoping he comes across as apologetic enough, “I should’ve taken better care of her.”

To his utter astonishment, your mother waves off his apology with a flick of her hand. “Don’t worry about it! I expected this to happen; Y/N has never been to a party without us before. I’m glad you were with her; god knows what would have happened to her if you weren’t there!” 

Donghyuck resists the urge to chortle. What are you, a child?

“Could you take her up to her room please? I’ll get the housekeeper to run her a bath.”

“Sure,” he says, grimacing inwardly at the thought of having to lug your deadweight up four flights of stairs; thank goodness there’s an elevator.

He tries his best not to dump you unceremoniously onto your bed, taking care to remove your strappy sandals. When the job is done, he’s about to leave when something on your desk catches his eye. He walks over and picks it up, turning on your desk lamp for better lighting. 

In his hands lies a framed photo of the two of you when you first met as kids—you in a bright pink dress adorned with a monstrosity of ribbons, him in a suit. You’re both sitting on a park bench holding hands; he’s staring at the camera with a stony expression, while your smile looks more like a grimace. 

The memory of that day rushes to greet him, clear as day—it was the first time he saw you, and it was on the same day that it was announced that you were going to be his future bride. It was the day he started his campaign of relentless hate towards you, the day he decided that you were to be his lifelong enemy.

Donghyuck sets the picture down on your desk with more force than intended. Why would you still keep it? Did you really want a constant reminder of your betrothal to him? Did you really want a constant reminder of him?

His whirlwind of thoughts is interrupted by a weak voice. “Donghyuck?”

He walks over to your bed where you lie intoxicated, cheeks flushed and eyes half-lidded, tangled locks of hair strewn across your pillow.

“You’re awake,” he says, voice flat. 

“I… said… I wasn’t drunk… idiot…”

Nope. Still wasted.

“Just go to sleep. Your bath will be ready soon,” he’s about to leave when you lift your hand to latch weakly onto his wrist.

“Wait,” you mumble, “I… have to ask you… something.”

“What is it?”

At this, your lips turn into a pout. “I know… you’re… a liar.”

“What?”

“You…,” you gesticulate aimlessly at him—after all, finding words is such a chore when you’re hardly sober— “when we were young… you said that… you hated me because I was wearing… pink.”

Donghyuck’s breath hitches in his throat; he can’t believe you can remember that. 

“Yes; what about it?”

“You’re lying. That’s… a stupid reason… for hating someone. So tell me… why exactly… do you hate me so much?”

Donghyuck feels his heartbeat pick up but he keeps his lips pursed. 

“I never told you this… but… it hurts. It hurts how… you don’t even want to be friends with me…” you ramble on, lips forming a pout while your eyelids get heavier and heavier. “Why don’t you like me…” Your eyelids flutter shut and your breathing evens, and Donghyuck releases the breath he’d been holding.

Donghyuck feels the sour pang of guilt creep up on him. Granted, you’d never done anything to warrant his hate for you; he simply detests your very existence, which isn’t something you can help. It never once occurred to him that you’d be hurt by him—he didn't think he mattered to you at all. He can’t believe you still remember what he’d said to you all those years ago. Sighing, he rakes a hand through his hair; perhaps some soul-searching is in order.

He pauses for a moment, watching the way your eyelashes graze your cheekbones ever so slightly. Your cheeks and lips are flushed cherry pink from all that drinking, and a stray lock of hair spills across your face. He reaches out to draw it away from your face, marvelling at how normal you look for once; your sleeping face is so tranquil, like a child’s. No one would ever be able to guess at how you are nothing less than a perfect, infallible human being. It’s easy for him to forget how you’re the same age as him; you just seem to possess a maturity way beyond your youth that Donghyuck really can’t wrap his head around.

He gently drapes the duvet over you, and he’s about to leave when he sees that his denim jacket is still wrapped snugly around your body, though it’s a couple sizes too large for your slight frame. 

He can let you have it for a little while.

—

You proudly hand your mother your school journal, decorated with pink glitter and purple felt butterflies you painstakingly cut out yourself. On the first page, the words “My Dream Job” are neatly inscribed in cursive lettering, with hearts over the i’s. 

“Mrs Lee asked us to write down our dream job today,” you gush, pigtails bouncing with excitement. “Look what I wrote!”

Your mother smiles as her eyes skim over the words ‘fashion designer’.  You gabble on. 

“I told the class I wanted to take over your company when I grow up and become a fashion designer just like you!” 

“Very good, Y/N. I’m so proud of you. I have no doubt that will happen,” she says, patting the top of your head. 

“Oh, I also asked Donghyuck what he wanted to be. He said he wants to be a singer when he grows up.”

Your mother’s hand falls from your head and she frowns. “Does he?” 

“Yeah. Isn’t that cool? I told him that was really cool.” 

Her expression turns austere. “There’s no future in that, Y/N. You should tell him to be like you and take over his family’s company. That way he’ll be successful.”

“But he’s good at singing,” you protest, eyes shining with the memory of his voice, “and he looks so happy when he’s singing. If he’s happy, won’t he be successful too?”

—

“Do you still sing?”

Donghyuck raises an eyebrow at you as he chugs his iced coffee. “Why do you ask?”

“It’s called making conversation. It might not be in our contract, but did you intend to sit in silence until the sun sets and we go home?”

It’s your turn to pick a date, so you’ve dragged Donghyuck to a music cafe with a stage by the entrance where a teenage boy sings soulful R&B tunes. You weren’t being entirely truthful when you told him you were just making conversation; you did want to know if he still sang. To see if he was prepared for what you were about to throw him into. 

“Sometimes,” he says, “maybe one day I’ll serenade you. With a song about how annoying you are.”

You resist the urge to toss your steaming mug of chamomile tea in his face. These days, after your horribly embarrassing encounter at the party (Donghyuck insists that you threw up in his car, but you don’t remember that at all), his attitude toward you seems to have shifted. Sure, he’s still mean, but not resentful. He doesn’t seem to hate you that much anymore; when he says spiteful things you can sense its teasing undertones. 

You wonder what sparked this change. Shouldn’t he detest you even more? You literally threw up in his car—or so he claims. Or maybe he’s finally come to his senses and recognizes just how lovable you are. 

You load up your smile like a gun.

“You do that,” you say, raising your hand to beckon someone over. To Donghyuck’s surprise, the manager of the cafe scoots over, and when he leans down you whisper something into his ear. The man chuckles and sends a curious glance at Donghyuck.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” you say, smiling sweetly and taking a sip of your coffee. 

The performer ends the song, and bows to polite claps from the audience. The manager you just spoke to goes up on stage, voice filling the room. 

“Thank you Jihoon, that was lovely as usual. Next up we have Lee Donghyuck—this is his first time performing, so do give him your encouragement!”

Donghyuck literally jumps in his seat and you stifle your laugh. He sends a death glare in your direction and mouths I’m going to kill you. You clap for him in response, that sweet smile never leaving your face. You’ll get it from him later, no doubt, but this is totally worth it. 

Donghyuck finally gets up and trudges over to the stage. He steps up to the mic, closes his eyes for the briefest of instants, and his lips part.

You expected, after all these years, that his voice would have hardened somehow, taken on a rougher edge, flavoured with the accents of a baritone. However, Donghyuck surprises you yet again—his voice is just as airy and angelic as it was nearly a decade ago, and every line he sings is like a stream of honey pouring forth from his lips. He breezes through countless high notes effortlessly in a way that sends chills down your spine, without so much as a twitch of neck muscle; he loads every word with so much emotion that it seems like the euphonious melody is coming to life right before your very eyes. The other patrons in the cafe are spellbound, drinks and conversation long forgotten; he’s bewitched everyone, and there’s no escaping. 

In short, Lee Donghyuck is still a marvellous singer. And possibly a siren.

When he’s done, it is silent for a moment, the aftereffects of his spell still lingering. And then a single clap from the manager breaks the reverie and soon everyone is applauding in awe and surprise. There are even a few cheers.

You watch as he smiles and bows bashfully before walking down the stage, leaving his five minutes of fame behind. His cheeks glow under the warm light of the cafe; he looks absolutely ethereal.

“What do you think?” He asks as he slides into his seat. You can almost feel the passion flowing from him in waves. 

You stare at him, starstruck. How could you possibly tell him that you never want him to stop singing, that you actually would like to be serenaded by him, that you want to wake up and fall asleep to the sound of his voice every single day? 

So you settle for, “N-Not bad.” Yes, you stuttered. You hope your cheeks won’t betray you.

Donghyuck smirks. “Really? Your face tells me something else.”

Instinctively, you place a hand on your cheek—it’s burning. You take a large gulp of coffee to hide the flames in your cheeks; Donghyuck’s smirk only grows wider. 

Avoiding his gaze, you ask, “Anyway, what song was that? I’ve never heard it before.”

He rubs the back of his neck with his palm. “Actually, I wrote it.”

“You what?”

“I wrote it. Want me to announce it to everyone?”

You can’t believe it. Not only does this boy before you have the voice of an angel, he’s a lyrical genius too? The world is simply not fair.

“Wow.” You lean back in your chair, all attempts at unfazed composure gone. “That’s actually crazy. You’re actually crazy.”

You look back at Donghyuck, expecting him to look smug, but instead his lips are pursed and his gaze is downcast.

“What’s wrong? Upset that your identity as a secret genius has been exposed?”

“No, it’s just… I wrote this song for Sohui. I thought she would love it, especially since she’s always been super supportive about my singing and songwriting. But… she doesn’t like it.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. She said I should have bigger dreams now. Apparently, I can’t get anywhere with this.”

You keep silent, wondering how she could possibly say that to him. Heck, if a boy wrote you a song and serenaded you with it you’d probably get down on one knee and profess your undying love to him. 

“Maybe… maybe she’s right. My parents say that all the time too. I shouldn’t be singing anymore. It’s time to grow up. You can’t make money out of dreams.”

He looks so crestfallen, the incandescent shine that had previously graced him completely vanished. That shine of passion was what set him ablaze and made him look so euphoric, and now it’s gone, like a candle snuffed out by the darkness. 

You want to get it back for him. You want to see that look of pure bliss spread across his face. You want to see him shining bright and luminous again. 

“So, what? You’re just going to stop singing then?” You ask, folding your arms across your chest, “I thought you were more determined than that. Once you’d set your mind on something, you wouldn’t let it go. That’s how you nursed that burning hatred you had for me, right?”

He has the good grace to blush.

You lean across the table and look him straight in the eye. “And I thought you could care less what others thought; that’s why we’re doing all this. That’s why we’re going against our parents’ will and fighting this bloody engagement. The Lee Donghyuck I know won’t go down without a fight, especially if it’s something he clearly loves so much.”

One final push. “But I could be wrong. I mean, I don’t really know you.”

Donghyuck’s head snaps upward and he stares right at you; you can see the fire in his eyes. Whether it's rage or passion, it doesn’t matter. You managed to rile him up. That was all you wanted. That’s the only way to keep his flame burning. 

—

The drive home is filled with a pregnant silence. You wonder if you took it too far; after all, you and Donghyuck aren’t exactly the chummiest of friends. Maybe you overstepped the boundary a little.

But all you know is that you won’t stand by and let him give up such a blessing, something that clearly gives him so much joy. You won’t let him become an empty shell. 

You of all people know how that feels. 

When you reach home, you unbuckle your seatbelt and say goodbye. “Thanks for today, Donghyuck. You can choose the next date.” 

You’re about to reach for the door and get out, but Donghyuck stops you with a hand on your wrist. 

“Y/N,” he says, and you look at him, acutely aware of the sensation of his fingers clasped around your wrist. His gaze burns into yours in a way that makes your heart jolt and your brain question everything you ever thought you’d felt about him.

You wonder whether, in an alternate universe, things could have been different between you two.

“Thank you,” he finally says, gaze softening, the faintest hint of a smile etched on his lips.

Perhaps you melted a little.

[papermoonloveslucy]

LIZ HAS THE FLIMJABS

December 30, 1950

“Liz Has the Flimjabs” (aka “A Severe Case of Flimjabs”) is episode #112 of the radio series MY FAVORITE HUSBAND broadcast on December 30, 1950.

This was the 14th episode of the third season of MY FAVORITE HUSBAND. There were 31 new episodes, with the season ending on March 31, 1951.  

Synopsis ~  Liz wants a mink coat from George, so she pretends to be sick in order to get his sympathy - and the coat!  George is on to her tactics, and decides to give her the scare of her life - literally! 

Note: This program served as the basis for the “I Love Lucy” episode “Lucy Fakes Illness” (ILL S1;E16) filmed on December 18, 1951 and first aired on January 28, 1952.  The role of the Doctor was taken by Hal March, who was actually playing an actor friend of Ricky’s named Hal March pretending to be a doctor.  On television, Lucy also adopts a psychological illness in addition to her physical ailments. There was no mention of Christmas or New Years on the television show. 

“My Favorite Husband” was based on the novels Mr. and Mrs. Cugat, the Record of a Happy Marriage (1940) and Outside Eden (1945) by Isabel Scott Rorick, which had previously been adapted into the film Are Husbands Necessary? (1942). “My Favorite Husband” was first broadcast as a one-time special on July 5, 1948. Lucille Ball and Lee Bowman played the characters of Liz and George Cugat, and a positive response to this broadcast convinced CBS to launch “My Favorite Husband” as a series. Bowman was not available Richard Denning was cast as George. On January 7, 1949, confusion with bandleader Xavier Cugat prompted a name change to Cooper. On this same episode Jell-O became its sponsor. A total of 124 episodes of the program aired from July 23, 1948 through March 31, 1951. After about ten episodes had been written, writers Fox and Davenport departed and three new writers took over – Bob Carroll, Jr., Madelyn Pugh, and head writer/producer Jess Oppenheimer. In March 1949 Gale Gordon took over the existing role of George’s boss, Rudolph Atterbury, and Bea Benaderet was added as his wife, Iris. CBS brought “My Favorite Husband” to television in 1953, starring Joan Caulfield and Barry Nelson as Liz and George Cooper. The television version ran two-and-a-half seasons, from September 1953 through December 1955, running concurrently with “I Love Lucy.” It was produced live at CBS Television City for most of its run, until switching to film for a truncated third season filmed (ironically) at Desilu and recasting Liz Cooper with Vanessa Brown.

MAIN CAST

Lucille Ball (Liz Cooper) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon.

Richard Denning (George Cooper) was born Louis Albert Heindrich Denninger Jr., in Poughkeepsie, New York. When he was 18 months old, his family moved to Los Angeles. Plans called for him to take over his father’s garment manufacturing business, but he developed an interest in acting. Denning enlisted in the US Navy during World War II. He is best known for his  roles in various science fiction and horror films of the 1950s. Although he teamed with Lucille Ball on radio in “My Favorite Husband,” the two never acted together on screen. While “I Love Lucy” was on the air, he was seen on another CBS TV series, “Mr. & Mrs. North.” From 1968 to 1980 he played the Governor on “Hawaii 5-0″, his final role. He died in 1998 at age 84.

Bea Benadaret (Iris Atterbury) was considered the front-runner to be cast as Ethel Mertz but when “I Love Lucy” was ready to start production she was already playing a similar role on TV’s “The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show” so Vivian Vance was cast instead. On “I Love Lucy” she was cast as Lucy Ricardo’s spinster neighbor, Miss Lewis, in “Lucy Plays Cupid” (ILL S1;E15) in early 1952. Later, she was a success in her own show, “Petticoat Junction” as Shady Rest Hotel proprietress Kate Bradley. She starred in the series until her death in 1968.

Ruth Perrott (Katie, the Maid) was also later seen on “I Love Lucy.” She first played Mrs. Pomerantz, a member of the surprise investigating committee for the Society Matrons League in “Pioneer Women” (ILL S1;E25), as one of the member of the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League in “Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress” (ILL S3;E3), and also played a nurse when “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2;E16). She died in 1996 at the age of 96.

Bob LeMond (Announcer) also served as the announcer for the pilot episode of “I Love Lucy”. When the long-lost pilot was finally discovered in 1990, a few moments of the opening narration were damaged and lost, so LeMond – fifty years later – recreated the narration for the CBS special and subsequent DVD release.

Gale Gordon (Rudolph Atterbury) does not appear in this episode.

GUEST CAST

Frank Nelson (Dr. Stevenson) was born on May 6, 1911 (three months before Lucille Ball) in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He started working as a radio announcer at the age of 15. He later appeared on such popular radio shows as “The Great Gildersleeve,” “Burns and Allen,” and “Fibber McGee & Molly”.  Aside from Lucille Ball, Nelson is perhaps most associated with Jack Benny and was a fifteen-year regular on his radio and television programs. His trademark was playing clerks and other working stiffs, suddenly turning to Benny with a drawn out “Yeeeeeeeeees?” Nelson appeared in 11 episodes of “I Love Lucy”, including three as quiz master Freddy Fillmore, and two as Ralph Ramsey, plus appearance on “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” - making him the only actor to play two different recurring roles on “I Love Lucy.” Nelson returned to the role of the frazzled Train Conductor for an episode of “The Lucy Show” in 1963. This marks his final appearance on a Lucille Ball sitcom.

The doctor’s surname may be a reference to noted costume designer Edward Stevenson, who designed gowns for Lucille Ball in more than a dozen RKO films and would eventually become costume designer of “I Love Lucy” after the departure of Elois Jenssen in 1955.

EPISODE

ANNOUNCER: “And now, let’s look in on the Coopers. It’s evening, and Liz and George are sitting in the living room admiring their Christmas tree."

George wonders if it is time to take the Christmas tree down but Liz doesn’t want to. They agree to put away their presents instead and start to talk about the gifts they didn’t give or get.  

Liz nearly bought George a set of matching golf clubs. George says he nearly bought her a mink jacket. He says he saw it in the window at Millers, but realized he couldn’t afford it. Liz sadly reminds him that she has never had a fur coat and wonders if they could afford it if they all their Christmas gifts to the store. George says it still wouldn’t be enough, but Liz wants to wear something special to the Atterbury’s New Year’s Eve party. 

Next morning, in the kitchen, Katie the Maid asks Liz why she is so sad. Liz tells her about her mink jacket dreams. Liz solicits Katie’s opinion on how she can’t best get George to get her a mink jacket in time for the party.  Liz decides to play sick since George always gets her what she wants when she’s ill. 

After dinner, Liz and George contemplate what to do. Liz suggests going to the movies to see Harvey starring Jimmy Stewart, which is playing at the Strand. 

Harvey is a comedy about a man whose best friend is a six-foot tall imaginary rabbit. It premiered just ten days earlier before this broadcast and starred James Stewart. The film won an Oscar for Josephine Hull. The screenplay was based on the 1944 Broadway play of the same name by Mary Chase which won the 1945 Pulitzer Prize for Drama. 

Before Liz can tell George the second feature, she starts to writhe in pain!  Amid moans and groans, Liz details the pain for George. She says she used to have these attacks as a child. When she says the only thing that sometimes helps is little gifts to make her happy, George gets suspicious.  He quickly leaves the room to make a phone call, which Liz thinks is to buy her a mink jacket, but he has actually called the doctor! 

End of Part One

Bob LeMond presents a live Jell-O commercial, giving a basic recipe for preparation of all delicious six flavors!

ANNOUNCER: “As we look in on the Coopers once again, Liz is pretending to be sick and George, who is worried about her, has called the doctor.”

The doorbell rings and George admits Dr. Stevenson (Frank Nelson). Before seeing Liz, George tips him off that Liz may have a rare disease and that the only cure is a mink coat! George asks him to give her a good scare and the Doctor agrees to play along.  

Entering the bedroom, Liz immediately tells the Doctor she feels much better.  But after a quick exam, the Doctor diagnoses Liz with a rare tropical disease from the West Indies called the ‘Flimjabs’. The only cure is to operate and remove her ‘torkle’ but warns her that she will never be able to ‘yammle’ again. The Doctor explains that ‘yammling’ is an involuntary peristalsis of the transverse clavis. 

GEORGE: “Doctor, do you have to remove the whole torkle?” DOCTOR: “Maybe we’ll be lucky and can save half of it. After all, half a torkle is better than none.” LIZ: “Well, I should say so!  I’d hate to think of never yammeling again!”

The Doctor says that they must now wait 24 hours and see if she turns green. 

DOCTOR: “If you turn green, three hours later (snaps his fingers) gone.” LIZ:  (snaps) “Gone?”  DOCTOR: (snaps) “Gone.”

For the television script, the ‘Flimjabs’ was renamed the 'Gobloots’ - a rare tropical disease that carried into America on the hind legs of the 'boo-shoo bird.’ It can necessitate a person having to undergo a 'zorchectomy’ – total or partial removal of the 'zorch’. Even if doctors are able to save half a person’s 'zorch,’ the patient will never be able to 'trummle’ again. 'Trummling’ is a mysterious involuntary internal process. Finally, if you turn green while suffering from the 'gobloots’ you will be dead in 30 minutes!  

Iris Atterbury drops by to see Liz on her way to the Bridge Club meeting. Liz tells her that she has been diagnosed with the Flimjabs. 

IRIS: “Oh, how exciting! This will make Betty Ricky’s gallstones look sick! She’ll be absolutely green.” LIZ: “She's not the only one. That’s one of the danger signs. I may turn green.”  IRIS: “With a green face and red hair, you’ll be out of this world.” LIZ: “Yes, that’s what I’m afraid of.”

Iris is overcome with emotion at the thought of losing Liz. She doesn’t want to leave, but the ice cream for the Bridge Club meeting is in the car and it’s melting! 

That night, Doctor Stevenson returns to check on Liz. Answering the door, George confesses that he’s put a green light bulb in Liz’s bedroom light. As soon as George turns on the lights, Liz shrieks seeing her green hands! Her face and hair have turned green, too!  Liz thinks the men have Flimjabs too, because they are also green, but then the truth sets in. 

LIZ: “Oh, no!  This is the end!  I’m looking at the world through green colored eyeballs!” 

Liz dramatically declares that she’s dying. George accuses her of being over-dramatic. 

LIZ: “I’m sorry, George. But I don’t die every day and it’s new to me.”

Before her imminent demise, Liz confesses to all the car accidents she’s had and hidden by having the car fixed without telling him.  

LIZ: “In fact, the only thing left of the original car you bought is the ashtray in the back seat!”

Then Liz bravely confesses to pretending to be sick to get him to buy her a mink coat. George also needs to make a confession: it was all a trick. There is no such thing as ‘Flimjabs’ and the light is from a green light bulb!  

The phone rings and it is Iris, tearfully calling from the Bridge Club meeting. The girls have just had a memorial ceremony for Liz by turning her chair to the wall and smashing her teacup in the fireplace. Before Liz can tell Iris that it was a joke, she learns that they all chipped in and bought her a goodbye present: a mink coat!  Liz hangs up in tears. George is confused.

GEORGE: “Isn’t that what you wanted?” LIZ: “Yeah, but I have to die to get it!”

END OF EPISODE

In the live Jell-O commercial, Lucille Ball and Bob LeMond play a couple of nomads lost in the desert. Lucy uses her ‘Isabella Clump’ voice as ‘Smith’. Bob is looking for his camp, near a big dune. 

LUCY / ‘SMITH’: “A dune? What’s a dune?” BOB: “What’s a dune????” LUCY / ‘SMITH’: “I dunno. What’s a-dune with you?” 

Smith sees a mirage - a big bowl of Jell-O! After describing the six delicious flavors, Bob suggests they go home. 

BOB: “Go home? We’re lost in the desert!”  LUCY / ‘SMITH’: “Why don’t we each take one of those cars.” BOB: “What cars?” LUCY / ‘SMITH’: “The ones over there. That’s a two-car mirage!” 

The same date this episode was broadcast, columnist Sid Shalit in the New York Daily News reported that a television situation comedy was being prepared starring Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz in the mold of “My Favorite Husband”.  Clearly, the radio series was winding down. This was the final episode of 1950 with only 16 episodes left. 

Meanwhile, in addition to radio and television, Ball was on the nation’s movie screens in two 1950 films: The Fuller Brush Girl and Fancy Pants. 

[kitreadsbirdmen]

An Encounter with Duality

An Analysis of Birdmen Flight 048′s chapter cover

As the current arc kicks into high gear, the flock gathering new allies left and right in their search for the 7 Wings, the reintroduction of a former ‘foe’ brings things to a satisfying start. Fiona has had a remarkably rocky start with our main cast so when Takayama sweeps her away into the front of their mission as a pivotal ally, we are left with only one panel– a context-less chapter cover following her cliffhanger addition to the cast–  to make sense of the moment and further define her role in the narrative. What’s more, this scene is depicted in such a manner, utilizing allusions to two notable works from Western Artistic Canon, that it comments on the nature of the most elusive and important character yet: Takayama Sou. By modeling the scene of Fiona’s encounter with Takayama after Marianne Stoke’s 1900 painting Death and the Maiden, while simultaneously presenting a portrait depiction of Bernini’s Ecstasy of Saint Teresa in the background, Tanabe illustrates a conflicting duality of good and evil resulting ultimately in ambiguity. By first drawing visual comparisons between this cover and the named alluded works, the respective analysis will inform the deeper implications of this scene and the characters involved.

A Demonic Invader:

Death and the Maiden depicts a young woman’s late night encounter with a winged being clothes in black and raising a hand to her alarm. This motif of pairing a symbol of purity and life, such as a young woman, with such an apparent opposites as the embodiment of death was common in Renaissance paintings, exercising the fragile relationship of these two dichotomies. We see this painting invoked in the above cover, Takayama approaching Fiona in her bed, as death so does to the girl. Fiona’s pose emulates Stoke’s Maiden, holding the blanket up to her chest with an expression of alarm. Even her elaborate fashion sense permits her to wear a dated night gown that resembles the Maiden.  The almost contrived presence of feathers from Fiona’s down pillows invoke the feathered nature of Stoke’s death– a detail that Tanabe’s Seraphim can’t achieve by nature of their powers. Takayama’s looming pose paints him as Stoke’s death angel easily, while also hearkening back to the ominous associations the public granted him early on in chapter 6:

Malignantly painted, Takayama becomes this force of nature, feared by men and notably, this young girl.

The context of the encounter is paradoxically more positive than presented. Takayama seeks out Fiona to complete their ensemble and prepare for the grand mission of gathering the 7 Wings. Whereas it can be assumed that Stoke’s painting illustrates the injustice of a young girl’s brush with death, Tanabe’s cover works as a positive force in the narrative, moving the plot along in an agreeable direction and liberating the girl from Eden in hindsight. Yet the overwhelming tone of an uninvited presence, consuming Fiona’s space, covering her in the ominous black of his wings, and eliciting her apparent surprise, tells the audience at first glance that this is a potentially sinister moment. It aligns with the constant ambiguity of Takayama’s actions to date, questioning his intentions and his motives to the point of frustration.

There is a foundational sense of duality in Stoke’s painting that isn’t properly translated to the cover, but felt in the deeper analysis. While acting as an inevitable force of nature, Death hold out its hand in gentle reassurance. This is something that Takayama does not mimic, but by virtue of his heroic actions and pacifying moments prior to now, we are reminded of his capacity for genuine good that belies the ambiguity of his actions.

A Divine Guest:

While a noticeable feature in the background of the scene, the identity of the portrait is one of importance. Best visualized in the volume release of the chapter cover, the audience glimpses a small section of a greater work:

(picture courtesy of @hiurasouji )

From the distinctive sunbeam’s the portrait was identified as a cropped version of Bernini’s famous statue, Ecstasy of Saint Teresa. Observe:

This statue, completed in 1652 and resting in the Roman Catholic church Santa Maria della Vittoria, depicts a scene from an autobiographical text, penned by the female subject of the work, a nun named Teresa of Avila. The episode denotes her religious euphoria during an encounter with an angel

I saw in his hand a long spear of gold, and at the iron’s point there seemed to be a little fire. He appeared to me to be thrusting it at times into my heart, and to pierce my very entrails; when he drew it out, he seemed to draw them out also, and to leave me all on fire with a great love of God. The pain was so great, that it made me moan; and yet so surpassing was the sweetness of this excessive pain, that I could not wish to be rid of it. The soul is satisfied now with nothing less than God. The pain is not bodily, but spiritual; though the body has its share in it. It is a caressing of love so sweet which now takes place between the soul and God, that I pray God of His goodness to make him experience it who may think that I am lying.

Chapter XXIX; Part 17, Teresa’s Autobiography

The notable parallel here revolves around yet another winged being visiting a woman. The differences put Takayama in comparison to not an ominous force of nature but a divine being of great power and purpose. Unlike the Stoke’s painting, this encounter is at face value a strikingly good and joyful thing. It serves to thus paint Fiona as overwhelmed with the otherworldly power and mission of her visitor. An appropriate reaction to Takayama’s unfathomable presence that she earlier remarks. Though it can be said that Fiona’s parallels to the painting are diminished in the nature of the cover’s framing. By cutting off the portrait to only show the arm of the visiting angel, space and composition restraints aside, the metaphor is weakened. Takayama’s connections to divine forces are as abundant as his more sinister comparisons.

This final page to chapter 29 invokes the same style of religious lighting as the Bernini statue while placing Takayama in a messiah role to the public. Ominous features notwithstanding, what is a remarkably ‘good’ visit from an angel proves with an inlaid duality that it is just as thematically gray as the Stoke’s painting furthering Takyama’s ambiguous alignment.

While an autobiographical excerpt, the symbolic nature of the nun’s divine encounter that Bernini depicts implies an undeniable sinister nature to the event. Teresa’s episode makes note of the angel’s spear, which appeared to be “thrusting at times into [her] heart” and blanketing her in “excessive pain” that paradoxically turns to the titular ecstasy of the encounter. It is no accident that the spear in the portrait is what is most clearly seen in within the cover, highlighting this contradictory sense of pleasure and pain, violence and good will, with the actions of our Takayama.

An Overwhelming Moment:

There is an argument to be said that Takayama is clearly acting on the agency of some unknown power. The allusions to those forces have the potential to work beyond simple catalysts for tonal reception. In regards to the actual plot elements at hand this cover serves to give us insight into Fiona’s emotions. The ambiguity between the two allusions paints a sense of uncertainty with Takayama and the present mission. It also serves as a potential reasoning for her clear attachment to him. Before this moment, Takayama interacts with her two seprate times, both in negative and hostile contexts. The first time is after Eishi Awakens and he performs a Force Link.

This is an act that is clearly distressing to Fiona, leaving her crying, begging her innocence to him, all with the lost agency of her wings forcibly sprouting. She leaves this scene with a sense of understanding of Takayama, noting the unfathomable nature of his mind and the newness of the emotions he felt through Eishi. Later on he again engages her in a similarly hostile manner:

(dont mind me just doing the work of god dear fiona)

This hijack that he does is the definition of invasive. These two moments then get topped off by the bedroom raid making the audience question her emotional state. It is apparent during this chapter and the next that Fiona doesn’t bond well with the other Seraphim but instead clings to this serial offender of her agency.

and then later she only permits Takayama to touch her shoulder:

(minor post 049 spoiler)

And this seemingly contradictory behavior I feel is justified in the context of the cover of flight 048. By connecting her to the subjects of these two works, her complex relationship with this force is explained. Teresa’s experience with the angel is overwhelming, while also serving to affirm her faith. The Maiden’s encounter with Death is a commentary on the inevitable nature between the two. The fear and reverence are two parts of the same the same coin and the duality of Fiona’s encounters paint her relationship with Takayama with the broad strokes of religious worship or natural comprehension.

In the end we are left with the great mystery of Takayama, a character that exceeds the labels of good and evil while acting in the stark presence of the protagonists. The use of Bernini and Stokes work in one depicted scene proved to emphasize this and ally Takayama with further connections to greater powers. And within the more present understanding of the story the cover enlightens the audience with a backdrop for this confusing relationship so quickly formed between Fiona and Takayama.

All in all we ask ourselves:

why u so fukin confusing takayama?

This was written on 7/5/17 when the chapter was released in the Japan. After so much waiting, it was finally translated and I can post this. This mainly reflects my perspective at the time and is in now way influenced by spoilers. 

[flowerfan2]

Something Blue - Bound To Be Together Alternate Ending

McDanno, E, A03.  53k in total; 7k this chapter - Something Blue

Author’s note:  Towards the end of season 9 I spent a lot of time thinking about how I might fix or otherwise explain whatever craziness canon was going to give us in the last episode. This story came about as an explanation for a possible Steve and Cath wedding.

It’s sort of an AU alternate ending to the coda series in Bound To Be Together, but can also be read as a stand-alone story. Warning for angst and handwringing, but all in the service of a happy ending.

Thanks to all of you who read and enjoyed this fic, and ranted with me about Season 9.  Writing this and getting to know so many other H50 fans has been a wonderful experience.

Summary: Steve and Catherine get married on a typically beautiful day, filled with all the joy such an occasion should bring. Danny doesn’t feel at all joyful about it, however.  He feels miserable.  Danny agreed to this, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

Something Blue

The Kahala resort is undeniably beautiful.  Danny enjoyed it a lot more, however, back when he was watching Grace swim with the dolphins.  Standing up as Steve’s best man as Steve marries Catherine really isn’t any fun at all.

After the ceremony, Danny wanders off to the side, champagne glass in hand.  The happy couple has chosen to bypass many of the classic wedding traditions, so fortunately Danny doesn’t have to give a formal toast, or sit through a first dance, or really do anything at all except stand around and keep a smile pasted on his face.

Danny declines a glass of champagne from a festively dressed server.  He feels vaguely ill, overheated in his rented tux.  Adding alcohol to the mix doesn’t seem like a good idea.  Even the smell of the passed hors d'oeuvres is making him queasy.  

He chats mindlessly with a guest who comes by and gushes about how beautiful the bride is, and how she had no idea Steve was even engaged.  Danny doesn’t know her name – someone who works with Noelani, he thinks – but he can’t get up the energy to care.  Eventually the guest moves away, and Danny risks a quick glance at his watch.

“Thinking of leaving already, boss?” Tani asks softly, coming to stand next to him.  She looks lovely in her gown, a dark green which contrasts beautifully with her hair. “You okay?”

Danny struggles to focus on her words, and find some kind of appropriately convincing response, but he doesn’t come up with much. “Sure, I’m fine.”

Tani tilts her head at him.  No point in feigning cheer with her, her bullshit meter is way too fine-tuned for that.

“I did not see this coming.”  Tani slides in front of him, narrowing her eyes.  “I’m guessing you didn’t either?”

 Danny looks away.  “Steve was gonna ask her to marry him, a few years ago.  She told him later she would have said yes.”  He shrugs.  “Guess it was just a matter of time.”

 “Yeah, but-”

 “Just don’t, okay?”  Danny can’t argue about this right now.  Not with the DJ playing dance tunes and Catherine wearing a freakin’ full-on lace wedding dress and Steve’s ring on her finger.

 “Sorry,” Tani says.  “Really.”  She puts a hand on his shoulder, squeezing briefly, her eyes searching his.  “Wanna dance?”

 Danny sees Grace coming towards them, looking ridiculously grown up and beautiful, but with the same look of concern on her face as Tani has on hers.  Rude or not, he’s got to get out of here.  He can’t face his little girl right now.

 “Tani, do me a favor – dance with Grace instead.”

 Tani nods, and turns to intercept his daughter. Danny strides away, across the courtyard and through the hotel.  He almost manages to get away clean, but he’s outside waiting for an Uber when he hears his name being called.

 “Daniel?  Can we talk for a minute?”

 It’s Rachel, of course.  Danny wonders how many people saw her running after him as he made his escape.  How many believed he and Rachel were an item again, when they arrived together, Grace and Charlie in tow.  

 “I’m not feeling well, Rach.  I’ll call you tomorrow.”

 She gives him a pained look.  “I know this is hard for you, but it is what we all agreed on.” Her accent gets stronger when she’s upset, and from the sound of it, she hasn’t enjoyed the afternoon’s charade much either.  “Are you having second thoughts?”

 Danny huffs out a bitter laugh.  “Like you said, I agreed to this.  Guess the joke’s on me.”

 *****

 Danny kicks his feet up on top of his carry-on and leans back in the uncomfortable plastic seat.  It’s late, and LAX is quiet.  He’s got almost three more hours before he needs to get in line to board his connecting flight to Boston.  

 He parted ways with Rachel earlier, after he walked her to her gate.  She’s got a lot more flight time ahead of her, on her way to London for few weeks of vacation.  The kids are joining her but traveling separately, all to enhance the optics of Rachel and Danny going off together for a long-awaited tryst.

 Danny has just managed to doze off when his carry-on is yanked out from under his feet.  He jumps up, instantly awake and ready to dash after the culprit, and sees Steve, carry-on bag in hand.

 “You’re just asking for that to get stolen,” Steve says.  His face seems to be undecided as to whether it wants to smile or apologize.  There’s been a lot of that lately.

 Danny has half a mind to slug his partner, but instead he finds himself moving in close.  Steve’s arms come around him, folding him in tight, and Danny practically goes weak in the knees.  God, he’s a sucker.  But it feels like it’s been ages since he’s been here, since he and Steve last touched with any motive other than keeping up platonic appearances.

 It’s been almost a week since Steve got married.

 They finally board their flight.  They’re not seated together, of course, that would have been too easy.  Steve has managed to snag himself an aisle seat, and Danny’s got a window, several rows behind him and on the other side of the plane.  Once Danny sits down, he can’t see Steve anymore, although he hears his voice as he politely helps another passenger hoist their bag up into the overhead compartment.

 The kid next to Danny is restless, moving back and forth, constantly leaning down to rummage through the backpack he’s shoved under the seat in front of him.  He seems to be traveling alone, busy on his phone, not making conversation with the woman seated on the aisle on his other side.  Danny makes him out to be in his twenties.  He’s got his music turned up loud enough that Danny can hear it through his earbuds, which is supremely annoying.

 Danny tries to sleep, wishing that the idiot next to him would settle down.  Finally the boy gets up to stretch his legs or storm the cockpit and Danny slides into a doze.

 He rouses to the feel of something warm being laid over him and squints open an eye.  Steve is in the seat next to him, and Steve’s sweatshirt is draped over Danny’s torso.

 “You looked cold.”  Steve’s face is blank, which generally means he’s concerned, and trying not to show it.  

 Danny lifts the arm between the seats out of the way and shifts, leaning his head on Steve’s shoulder.  It’s a lot more comfortable than the cold plastic of the airplane window.  He wonders briefly how Steve got the kid to switch seats with him, then realizes Steve traded his aisle seat for a squished middle one.  Next to Danny.

 “Thanks.”

 “You’re welcome,” Steve says softly.  

 They’re both beyond tired by the time they land in Boston.  They make their way to the baggage claim in silence, taking turns watching for their bags and using the restroom.  Danny avoids the mirror, not wanting to look too closely at the bags under his eyes. It makes him feel a little better that Steve looks beat too.

 They hadn’t bothered reserving a rental car, or making any hotel arrangements.  This wasn’t the carefully planned, eagerly anticipated trip that Danny once imagined they’d take together.  

 Steve is standing with their bags when Danny gets out of the bathroom, and they lug them on to a shuttle bus that goes to the airport Hilton.  Fortunately there are rooms available.  Danny wants to make a joke about how many beds they need, he thinks there’s a rom-com moment in there somewhere, but he’s just too tired.

 Their room is sterile and entirely uninteresting but it’s got a bed and that’s all Danny cares about.  Steve mutters something about showering but Danny just strips down to his boxers and passes out.

 Sometime not much later he wakes up and sees Steve sitting on the edge of the other bed, looking lost, and his heart breaks a little. “Hey, come here.”  Danny holds up the edge of the sheet, and Steve lurches over, scrambling under the covers as if he’s worried that if he doesn’t move quickly enough Danny will change his mind.

 Steve’s warm and damp from his shower, and his hair smells like shampoo.  Danny bundles him close and falls asleep with Steve’s arm heavy over his chest, his knees pressed up against Danny’s thigh.  It’s the most comfortable Danny’s been in weeks.

 Danny’s sense of time is all messed up, but they manage to sleep and doze and sleep again until it’s more or less morning. Danny showers and shaves and then goes downstairs to see what the rental car options are while Steve takes his turn in the bathroom.  

 Finally, after another shuttle bus and a relatively short wait at the rental car counter, they’re in their car and on their way. Steve insists on getting a Jeep. “There are mountains in New Hampshire, Danny,” he explains.  Danny thinks that Steve has never been to Colorado, where he might actually see some real mountains, but that’s a trip for another day.

 They drive sluggishly through Boston rush hour traffic, which doesn’t let up for over an hour.  Steve mutters in annoyance the whole time, and Danny wants to pat himself on the back for not saying “I told you so” about how the Honolulu traffic everyone complains about back home is nothing compared to East Coast traffic.

 Danny can see the U.S.S. Constitution and the Bunker Hill Monument as they crawl along Route 93.  He thinks that Steve would enjoy touring the city, checking out the Navy Yard and the museum, if they were here for that.  Steve’s never been here before.  It’s one of the reasons they picked New England for this – the landscape bears little resemblance to anywhere they’ve been together.  No beaches and lush tropical greens, no desert, no Montana plains.  Someplace new.

 By the time they cross over into New Hampshire, Danny’s stomach is growling.  They pull off the highway and find a diner, where they order giant plates of eggs and pancakes.  It’s not nearly as good as what they usually get at their favorite Honolulu breakfast place. And there’s no coconut syrup.

 They’re about to pay the bill when Steve gets a look on his face (it’s what Danny once called the constipated face, but he’s since decided that’s too kind).  “I know things have been rough lately-”

 “Not now.”  Danny cuts him off.

 Steve looks momentarily startled, then nods. “Okay.”  And who says Steve hasn’t learned anything over the years?  At least he’s figured out that prompting Danny into yelling – or crying, he’s not sure which is more likely – in the middle of a sticky diner in Londonderry isn’t the best idea.

 They turn the radio on when they get back in the car, and Danny fiddles with the dial, trying to find something entertaining enough but mostly devoid of meaning.  It’s hard to avoid love songs, though, or breakup songs.  Luckily there aren’t many “you married your ex-girlfriend and pretended we didn’t exist in front of all our friends and family” songs in the top 40 these days.

 When they get close to the town where they’ve reserved an airbnb they stop at a grocery store.  Danny doesn’t tease Steve when he fills the cart with enough steak and hamburger to feed the team for a week, just makes sure they buy charcoal, too. And ice cream.  The mood he’s in, he needs lots of ice cream.

 They drive down a long, narrow dirt road to get to the house.  The place isn’t much to look at from the back, but when they go inside there are windows stretching up two stories with a stunning view of a sparkling lake.  The first floor has a kitchen open to a living room with two comfortable couches and a dark leather armchair, and a dining table off to the side.  Upstairs is a landing that looks out over the living room, and past that are two bedrooms and a bathroom.  Nothing fancy to take away from the beauty of what’s outside, but all very welcoming in woodsy shades of green and brown.

 Danny opens the sliding doors to the deck, taking in the promised grill (which is, of course, gas, no need to have bought all that charcoal).  He imagines coming out here early in the morning, drinking his coffee while the sun comes up over the lake.

 There’s a small yard with a canoe pulled up out of the water.  An aluminum dock stretches out away from the shore, with a speedboat tied securely to the side.  Nice toys.

 Steve hadn’t let him see any of the rental details, including the price.  Said it was his treat.  Danny had wondered if it was unfair, at the time, but he no longer has a problem with it. It’s a little petty, but Danny hopes it’s even more expensive than he guessed.

 He goes back inside to help unpack the groceries, and sees Steve with his cell phone to his ear.  “It’s Cath,” Steve explains.  Danny wants to snatch Steve’s phone and hurl it across the room, but he refrains.  Who knows, maybe Steve and Cath are having a critical conversation about their new wedding china.

 Needing to put a little space between himself and whatever is so important that Steve still needs to be talking to Catherine, Danny goes out onto the deck again, and then down to the yard.  He walks to the end of the dock and sits down, taking off his shoes so he can put his feet in the water.

 The lake is cold and dark.  Nothing like the warm, clear turquoise of the Hawaiian ocean. Danny takes a deep breath of the pine-scented air, and, remarkably, misses the salt smell of Steve’s beach. It figures that he’d get attached to that damn place.

 At least Catherine hadn’t insisted on getting married at Steve’s house.  Danny didn’t think he would have been able to go through with it, if she had.  And despite his current state of misery, he knows there were good reasons to go through with it.  

 When Catherine called a few weeks ago with a lead on one of the world’s most wanted terrorists, Danny was more than willing to help her out.  But then she revealed that she wouldn’t be able to get close to this guy unless she had the status of a married woman – and that being married to a particular former Navy SEAL would entice their target into thinking he could get something truly valuable from Cath.   Danny had thought for sure that Steve would refuse.

 Obviously, he didn’t.

 To be fair, Catherine didn’t know – still doesn’t know – the true nature of Steve and Danny’s relationship.  And although Danny is pretty sure that Five-0 suspects, he and Steve have never come out and told them, so they thought that the team would buy it.

 And they did, as far as he can tell.  It hurts, frankly, how easily they bought it. Despite everything their friends have seen between him and Steve, when Catherine showed up, everyone accepted that she was Steve’s soulmate, some magical creature who could waltz back into his life and be automatically adored.  Sure, the wedding was put together quickly, but hey, look at those lovebirds finally getting their act together, how wonderful for them, let’s all help throw them a party to celebrate…

 It makes Danny ache.

 Only Rachel was let in on the secret, so she could help with their cover.  It made sense - he and Rachel have been getting along well lately.  Even Steve worried that they might get back together. So in the week before the wedding they played up the Rachel and Danny angle, Danny dropping her name into conversation more frequently and making sure everyone heard about a successful romantic dinner at Rachel’s favorite Honolulu hot spot.  

 Danny drew the line at a double date with Steve and Catherine, however.  He had to retain some measure of dignity.

 The pièce de résistance was Steve and Danny scheduling their honeymoon and vacation with their respective significant others at the same time, to give the rest of Five-0 a chance to really take charge of the team, fly without a net, etc. etc.  Danny owes Steve $50 for that one, he’s still not sure how Steve got Tani to think it was her idea.  

 In theory, in the time that they are away, Cath will accomplish her mission, and the farce can be revealed.  No harm no foul, life goes on.

 Except Danny feels so goddamn awful, he’s forced to rethink the whole “no foul” business.

 Danny pulls himself out of his thoughts as the dock vibrates with Steve’s footsteps.

 “Mind if I join you?”  Steve speaks in the same half-casual, half-tentative tone he’s been using for the past week or so.    

 “Sure.”

 Steve sits down next to him, dangling his bare feet in the cool water next to Danny’s.  Danny wonders how things would be different if this were another kind of trip - if Steve would be splashing him, poking him, shoving him off the dock. Following him in with a sleek dive, or a raucous cannonball.  Wrapping his arms around Danny in the water, dunking him under and kissing him senseless when he came up.

 “I really am sorry,” Steve says.  Some kind of bird hoots in the distance, as if for punctuation.

 “Don’t apologize,” Danny responds.  He’s been over and over this in his head, and it’s not Steve’s fault.  “I agreed to it.”

 “But I’m still sorry.  I hurt you.  You can’t tell me I didn’t hurt you.”

 There it is, then.  The truth of it.

 “Yeah,” Danny says softly.  “You did.”  He leans his head on his hands, elbows on his knees.  “Or, really, the situation hurt.  It wasn’t you.”

 “That’s bullshit.  Situations don’t just happen.”

 “That’s remarkably perceptive of you,” Danny snaps, more sharply than he intended.  He lets out a long breath, picking up his head to stare out over the lake.  There’s a tiny island not too far away, trees sticking up haphazardly all over it, like Steve’s hair first thing in the morning.

 “I should never have said yes to it,” Steve continues.

 “<i>We</i> should never have said yes to it.  But we did, and here we are.”

 “And here we are,” Steve repeats quietly.  

 More long minutes go by.  The goose or whatever it is hoots some more.  Danny flicks a gnat away from his face, wishes he was wearing his sunglasses.  

 “I’ve gotta ask you something, Danny.”

 “Yeah?”

 “Do you want to fix this?”

 The question takes him by surprise.  “What?”

 Steve looks at him sadly.  “Did we screw it up too much, or do you want to try to fix it?”

 Danny hears roaring in his ears.  “Did I not just fly halfway across the planet on some lame-ass excuse just to do that very thing?  What do you think we’re doing here?  What the hell is wrong with you?”

 “Then why won’t you talk to me?”

 Danny draws in a breath to yell some more, only no words come out.  He shakes his head.  “This is the weirdest conversation.”

 Steve nods.  “Kind of a role reversal, I get it.  But Danny, to be clear, I do want to fix it.  Us.  Just so you know.”

 Despite the fact that this should be obvious, it’s still good to hear.  Danny feels himself relax a little bit more.  “I figured as much, with all the eyelash fluttering.”

 Steve snorts.  “I do not flutter my eyelashes.”

 “You totally do.”  

 Steve scoots a little closer to Danny, leans up against him and rests his head on his shoulder.  Danny leans into him in response.  He can’t help it, no matter how upset he is, his body wants to be close to Steve.

 “Listen,” Steve says calmly.  “I’m going to go back up to the house grill some steaks, put some beer on ice.  We’re going to have a nice meal, watch some tv, and crash early.  Sound good?”

 Danny nods.  “Yeah.”

 “But tomorrow, we’re putting on our big boy pants and facing the music.  No more moping.  Deal?”

 Danny wants to be annoyed – feelings don’t work that way – but it’s actually a relief to think there’s an end to this misery. Maybe super-SEAL Steve can just make it so.  “Yeah. Deal.”

 Danny plays around with the television while Steve grills, and puts on a documentary about the making of Game of Thrones. They eat sitting on the couches, beers on the coffee table, and argue about whether or not the writers treated Dany the way she deserved, and whether Bran could be a good ruler.  Their banter almost feels normal.

 After dinner they half-heartedly watch a few episodes of a cooking show, and then Danny cleans up while Steve goes upstairs with their luggage.  Steve’s coming out of the shower by the time Danny goes upstairs, and he goes in to take his turn.  The bathroom has a skylight in its slanted ceiling, but it’s dark now, and there’s nothing to see.  

 Steve’s in bed when Danny comes out, sitting up with his tablet on his lap.  The bed is a queen, with a green and brown patchwork kind of quilt that Steve has pushed back.  Steve’s wearing sweat pants and a worn Navy t-shirt, and looks about as non-threatening as a six foot tall guy in your bed can be.

 Steve has unpacked their things into neat little piles in the drawers, and Danny quickly changes into his own sleep pants and t-shirt, trying not to feel self-conscious as he drops his towel and pulls on his clothes.  It’s ridiculous, given how many times he’s been proudly naked in front of this man, but things feel different now.

 There’s a rift between them, and Danny can’t seem to shake it.  He thinks back to Steve’s question on the dock - <i>do you want to fix this?</i>   Of course he does.  He doesn’t understand what his problem is.

 Steve reaches towards the light on the night table. “Do you want to go to sleep?  Or read for a  while?”

 “Nah, I’m tired.”

 Steve nods and turns off the light as Danny climbs into bed.  It’s hard lying there without touching Steve, but Danny leaves a little strip of space anyway.  Steve moves, and without conscious thought, Danny flinches.

 There’s a long, awkward moment.

 “I’m not going to do anything you don’t wanna do, Danny.  But you acting like I might… it kinda stings.”

 And doesn’t that pack a punch.  “Fuck, Steve, I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to, I’m just…”  He doesn’t even know what to say, so he moves in close to Steve and wraps his arms around him.  

 “I miss you,” Danny says, his face pressed against Steve’s neck, “and I’m mad at you, and I want you, and at the same time I feel sick about the whole thing.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me.  I don’t know what to do.”

 “I love you, Danny,” Steve says softly. “But I can’t make you forgive me if you don’t want to.”

 “You think I don’t want to?”

 Steve shrugs.  “What do I know?  It seems like it.”

 “I’ll figure it out, Steve.  I promise.”  Danny lifts himself up on an elbow.  He can’t really see Steve’s face, but he cups his cheek, and leans in for a kiss. Steve returns the kiss quickly, letting out a little sound of surprise.

 They exchange gentle kisses for a few minutes, Steve lightly holding the back of Danny’s neck, then Danny pulls away and settles in his usual spot on Steve’s chest, cheek against the soft fabric of his t-shirt.  Steve breathes heavily for a moment, rubbing circles on Danny’s back, and then presses a kiss to his hair.

 “We’re gonna be okay, Danno,” Steve says, more confidence in his voice than Danny has heard in a while.  “We’ll both figure it out.  It’s gonna be okay.”

 *****

Danny is awakened in the morning by the sound of his vibrating phone sliding off the night table and hitting the hardwood floor. He scrambles to reach it and hits answer when he sees that it’s Grace calling.

 “Danno, you lied to me.”

 Danny flops over on his back, glancing at the clock. Seven a.m., which means it’s noon in London.  He wonders if Grace thought she was being considerate by waiting until seven to call him.

 “Grace, it’s awfully early for this.”

 “I think it’s kind of late, actually.”

 Steve has clued into what’s happening by now, and has slid his head over right next to Danny’s so he can hear both sides of the conversation.

 “What exactly are you mad about?”  Danny doesn’t want to give away more than he needs to – maybe Grace is just peeved that Danny isn’t in London with them.

 “The wedding, obviously.  How could you not tell me what’s really going on?”

 Danny sighs.  “Because as mature and grown-up as you are, you actually aren’t eligible to be read into this op.”

 “You can tell me.  You told Mom.”

 “I had to, monkey.  How did you find out, anyway?  Your mom’s a pretty decent liar, I thought she’d be able to stick to the story for at least a few more days.”

 Steve snorts next to him, apparently in agreement about Rachel’s skills at deception.

 “It was you, you gave it away.”

 “I did not.  I never said a thing.”

 “Your face did,” Grace retorts.  “You were so fake and annoying before the wedding, and during the ceremony you looked like you were going to hurl.  You had me worried for Uncle Steve.”

 “For Steve?”

 “Yeah, I figured maybe he got cancer from the radiation, and he had to marry Catherine for the insurance, but Mom says that’s not it.”

 Steve is shaking behind him, muffling his laughter into Danny’s shoulder.  Danny swats him with his free hand and tries to focus on Grace.

 “Your mother is right, Steve is fine, he thankfully does not have cancer or any other similar illness of which I am aware.  And why would he need insurance from Catherine?”

 “I don’t know, it’s a thing people get married for, how should I know?  Mom always said your insurance was crappy, that’s why she tried to keep Charlie on Stan’s.”

 The conversation is veering into territory Danny has no intention of exploring.  “For the record, my health insurance is just fine, and so is Steve’s.” He takes a deep breath.  “Grace, I really can’t discuss this right now.  But Steve and I are fine.  Hopefully I can tell you more in a few weeks, okay?”

 “That’s not fair.”

 “Can I talk to her?”  Steve asks under his breath, pointing to the phone.  Danny nods and hands it over.

 “Grace?  It’s Steve.” Steve rolls over and sits up on the edge of the bed, then gets up and walks out of the room with the phone. Danny is tempted to follow him, but then he decides he’ll just let Steve work his magic.  Grace is much more likely to be satisfied with whatever Steve tells her.  He tries not to take it too personally.

 A few minutes later Steve returns and hands Danny the phone.  He says a quick goodbye to Grace, who apparently needs to get ready to go out for lunch with her grandparents anyway, and hangs up.

 “What did you say to her?”

 Steve sits down on the edge of the bed, looking intently at Danny.  “I told her that I love her and Charlie, and you, very much, and I would never do anything to hurt any of you.  That you are the most important person in my life, and that nothing was happening that you and I didn’t plan together.   I asked her if she could trust me on that, and wait to hear the rest of it for a few more weeks, and she said yes.”

 Danny takes a moment to absorb this.  “You told her that I was the most important person in your life?”

 “Yes, I did.”

 “Come here.”  Danny pulls Steve against him, hugging him tight, and Steve squeezes him right back.  “I love you, you know that, right?”

 Steve nods against his shoulder.

 “I do, Steve.  I love you like crazy.”

 They stay that way for a few minutes, and then Steve pulls away.  “Okay if I go for a swim?”

 Danny scans Steve’s face, but he can’t find any reason to say no, despite the fact that he’d rather keep Steve close. “Sure.”

 While Steve’s gone Danny takes a quick shower, pulls on jeans and a sweatshirt, and heads downstairs to make coffee.  There’s a thin layer of fog over the water, and he can’t see Steve.  It’s not as if Steve can’t take care of himself in a lake that doesn’t even have any sharks in it, but he’ll feel better when he’s back.

 Danny takes two cups of coffee and a towel out to the deck and sits at the table, letting his thoughts wander.  He breathes easier when he spots Steve heading back towards the dock, his powerful strokes making ripples as he goes.

 Watching Steve pull himself up on to the dock and walk towards the shore, water streaming down his body, is a view Danny will never get tired of.

 Coming up on to the deck, Steve takes the towel from Danny with a grateful nod.   After Steve dries himself off (also a great show) they sit together in silence for a little while, sipping their coffee.

 “You know what I’m in the mood for?”  Steve asks, breaking the silence.

 “What?”

 “Pizza.”

 It’s still early in the morning, and Steve never wants pizza, but Danny isn’t about to object.

 “Okay.”

 By the time they get ready to leave the house, they still haven’t decided on whether to get take-out or go to the grocery store for the necessary items to make pizza from scratch.  Danny used to do it all the time with Grace, so he knows they can do a decent job themselves, but then they see a pizza joint that opens early, and they decide to take the lazy way out.

 They still have some time to kill so they walk around the little town for a while, browsing in a bookstore with a surprisingly interesting selection of books about mysteries in New England, and treating themselves to an overpriced pound of assorted gummies and chocolate covered fruit from a candy store.  Danny buys them lattes flavored with real maple syrup, which Steve declares disgusting. Danny kind of agrees, although he’s not about to admit it.

 Finally the pizza place opens, and they scroll through their phones as they wait for their order to be ready.  Danny’s got a text from Grace apologizing for being a pain and sending him a bunch of cute emojis, which do their job and make him smile.

 When their order is called Steve offers to pay – the first time that day, Danny can’t help but point out – and just as he’s digging his fingers into his wallet to extract his money, a ring flies out and clatters to the ground, rolling away towards the door.

 The woman next to them at the counter dives for it and hands it back to Steve.  “Got it!” she announces triumphantly.  “You wouldn’t want to lose this.”

 The tips of Steve’s ears have gone red, but he plays along, thanking the woman and stuffing the ring into his pocket.

 Danny takes the pizza and they walk out to the Jeep. Danny is concentrating on not saying anything, because anything he says is just going to make matters worse. When they get inside, Steve starts the car, pulls out onto the road, and then glances at him pointedly before speaking.

 “Okay, out with it.”

 “What?”

 “You’re dying to yell at me,” Steve says.  “Go ahead, get it over with.”

 “I’m not going to yell at you.  Why would I yell at you?  You haven’t even started driving yet.”

 “Danny…”

 Danny considers his options.  Steve’s right, he’s probably not going to be able to keep quiet about this.  Might as well get it over with or Steve will just keep bothering him about it.  “Just wondering if that’s the same ring Harry gave you to use back in Laos.  Or if you got a new one.”

 A pause.  Danny watches Steve’s face, but he doesn’t give anything away.

 “And that matters… why?”

 Danny shrugs.  “Don’t know.  But you asked, and that’s what I was thinking.”

 “No, it’s not the same ring – Harry took those rings back.”  Steve’s definitely got a tone, and not surprisingly, it’s fairly tense.  “What, do you think I’ve had the rings sitting around my house this whole time?”

 “How would I know?  You never got rid of the engagement ring you got Cath.”

 Steve’s fingers tighten around the steering wheel. “I didn’t know what to do with it.”

 “Well, guess it’s a good thing you kept it.” Which is completely unfair of Danny to say.  It doesn’t even make sense – Steve and Cath just used plain gold wedding rings in the ceremony, as it turned out, although Danny had expected to see the diamond make an appearance.   He had, in fact, driven himself kind of nuts waiting for it to appear on Catherine’s finger in the days before the wedding.  Not that he was looking that closely, or anything.

 It’s only a few minutes’ drive back to the house, although it feels like forever.  When they pull into the driveway, Steve turns off the car and sits still for a long moment, biting his lip.  Finally he turns to Danny.

 “You know, this hasn’t been fun for me either. When I wanted to ask for real, Catherine rejected me.  Then she comes back and wants a wedding, not because she cares about me, but because I’m useful.”

 “You looked like you were having fun, standing up there in your tux in front of everyone, professing your love and devotion.” Danny regrets his words as soon as they leave his mouth.  He knows it’s not true, but he can’t seem to stop picking at this scab.

 “Danny, if you think there is anyone I want to be saying those words to besides you, you really haven’t been paying attention.” Steve gets out of the car and closes the door, walking into the house without even a glance back in Danny’s direction.

 Danny leans over and bangs his head against the dashboard.  

 The smell of pizza permeates the car.  It’s not helping.

 Danny’s torn between wanting to give Steve a minute or two to cool off, and knowing that time probably won’t make his fuck-up any less painful.  Taking the pizza with him (it’s not the pizza’s fault Danny is a dumb-ass) he goes inside the house.

 Steve is out on the deck, leaning against the railing.

 “I’m sorry, babe.  I was out of line.  I’m sorry.”

 Danny comes up behind Steve, puts his hands on his shoulders and leans his forehead against his back.  “Please, you know I’m an idiot when I start running my mouth. I’m sorry.”

 Steve turns in Danny’s arms, his face drawn, eyes flickering up to Danny’s and then back down again.  “This hurt me too,” he says, his voice rough.  “Why can’t you see that?”

 Danny feels his heart break.  “I do, I do see it.  I should have seen it before.  I’m sorry.” Danny tilts his head up and kisses Steve, who kisses back with more force than Danny expected, sending a sudden shiver down his spine.  Steve practically attacks his mouth, biting at his lip, clutching tight at Danny’s sides.

 Danny feels Steve shuffle him backwards, until he’s pushed down into a chair, Steve straddling him and grabbing his face with both hands.

 The deck chair creaks and Danny turns his face just enough to get a full breath, holding Steve back when he tries to dive back in for more.  

 “Hey, hey, calm down,” Danny says.  “It’s okay.  It’s okay.”  

 “Danny…” Steve pants out, sounding desperate. “What do I have to do?  Just tell me, I’ll do it, I don’t want to fight anymore.”

 “We’re not fighting.  It’s okay, we’re fine.  I promise.  We’re fine.”

 Steve sags against Danny, still breathing hard. Danny strokes his hands up and down Steve’s back, trying to soothe him.  “This was a dumb plan, okay?  We both know that now, we got the memo.  But the worst is over, right?  No more watching the love of our life marry somebody else, no more having to pretend with fucking Catherine.  That part’s all done.”

 Steve squirms in Danny’s hold, and then sits up, the wrecked look on his face replaced by something decidedly more hopeful. “The love of your life?”

 Danny rocks his head back, embarrassed, but he can’t avoid Steve’s gaze for long.  “Yes, you goof.  You’re the love of my life.  I’ll write it on a pancake if you want.  Now get off me, before I lose all feeling in my legs.”

 Steve complies, lifting a long leg gracefully up and over Danny’s lap.  “You couldn’t fit that on a pancake.”

 “Two pancakes, then.  Or one really big pancake.”

 “Will you butter them for me?”

 Danny accepts Steve’s hand and lets him pull him up out of the chair, his back protesting at the angle.  “How about we reheat that pizza, and save the pancakes for later?”

 *****

The next few days feel almost normal, although it’s downright strange to have all this time with Steve and so little to do. Unlike normal, though, they don’t fill their free time with sex.  It just doesn’t feel right.

 One afternoon they take the speedboat out. Once they get past the little island with the funny trees the lake opens up.  It’s much bigger than Danny had realized, and they cruise around for an hour or so, exploring the little coves and looking for the bird Danny keeps hearing hoot at them.  

 “It’s a loon, Danny,” Steve insists.  But Danny can’t take this seriously, as “<i>you’re</i> a loon” seems to be the only appropriate response.

 They’ve turned off the boat’s engine, just letting themselves drift.  The sun is warmer today, and Steve has stripped off his shirt and is lying back with his eyes closed.  He looks like something out of a magazine.

 “Naptime?”  Danny asks.

 “Yeah, you should try it.”

 “Aren’t you afraid we’ll run into something?”

 Steve sits up.  “I put down the anchor.  How did you miss that?”

 Danny shrugs.  “I was looking for the bird.”

 Steve opens his mouth to say “loon” but realizes that Danny is goading him, and stops himself just in time.  “Come on, come up here with me.”

 Steve is stretched out on the deck by the bow, and he’s got a cushion under his head.  Danny tosses his own shirt below in the little cabin and climbs forward, joining Steve on the deck.  He lies down carefully, shuffling until his head is next to Steve’s.  

 The rocking of the boat is incredibly calming, and the heat of the sun on his skin quickly warms him through.  He runs his fingers over the bumpy surface of the deck. “What if we never went back?”

 Steve nuzzles Danny’s head.  “You’d miss Grace and Charlie.”

 “We could visit.”

 “You’d get bored.  You’re bored already.”

 “Says the man who felt the need to tune-up our rental car yesterday.”

 “It was making a noise.”

 “It’s a car, it’s supposed to make noise.” Danny sighs, poking at Steve’s side until Steve wraps their hands together.  “It’s just nice to be away, I guess.”

 “Didn’t know you liked pine trees so much.”

 “I don’t think it’s the pine trees.”  Danny lifts himself up a little, leans over and presses a kiss to Steve’s cheekbone, his hair blowing down over his face.  

 “That tickles,” Steve responds, cupping Danny’s face to guide Danny’s lips to his own.  “Mmm, better.”

 They make out lazily for a while, and then Steve dozes off, resting his face against Danny’s bare shoulder.  Danny considers ribbing him for falling asleep while kissing, but then decides to take it as a compliment.

 Later that night, as Danny is joining Steve in bed – once again, both of them clad in t-shirts and sleep pants - Danny manages to put words to the elephant in the room.

 “You, um, you don’t mind?  That we’re not-” he waves his hand vaguely between them.  

 Steve shrugs.  “It’s fine.  Besides, for the moment, I’m married.  At least until we file for divorce.”  He doesn’t say it like a joke, more like a death sentence.

 “Babe, are you… are you worried about committing adultery?”

 Steve blushes.  “No, of course not.”

 He maybe is, Danny thinks.  Who could have guessed?  Danny gets in bed and scoots over towards Steve.  “I was assuming we were both not engaging in… whatever,” he waves his hand again, “for the same reasons, but now I’m not so sure.”

 “It doesn’t matter,” Steve says, clearly uncomfortable.

 “I think it does,” Danny says gently.  “Hey, can I ask you something?”

 Steve purses his lips.  “You already did.”

 “You didn’t have sex with Catherine after the wedding, right?”  Danny may have been upset at having to watch Steve go through with the ceremony, including kissing the bride, but not once has he doubted Steve’s fidelity.

 Steve’s eyes widen.  “Of course not, Danny, what do you think-”  

 “So you won’t be filing for divorce, it’ll be an annulment.  As if it never happened.”

 Danny’s not sure how this detail never occurred to Steve, but it clearly did not.  “Really?”

 “Yes, really.”

 “Oh.”  A little smile pulls at the corner of Steve’s mouth.  “An annulment.  That’s, um, that’s better.”  He glances up at Danny.  “Not that there’s anything wrong with being divorced, if you meant to be married in the first place, but-”  Steve sighs and ducks his head, leaning against Danny’s side.

 “But what?”

 “It felt like I was wasting it with her.  The whole time, through the ceremony, and the reception, with all the flowers and congratulations and celebrating…  I felt so empty.  And then I went to find you, and you were already gone – which I totally understand, but still… it wasn’t right.  I guess I wanted it to be special.”

 Danny slides down and wraps an arm around Steve, taking a moment to judge Steve’s mental state before responding.   He almost always laughs, no matter how awful Danny’s jokes are, but they’re on shaky ground these days.

  “I’m sorry, babe,” Danny finally says, seriously.  “I’m sorry you wasted your wedding virginity on Catherine.”

 Steve barks out a laugh, and then Danny is laughing too, until they’re both clutching their stomachs and gasping for air.  

 “Guess you can’t wear white at our wedding,” Danny spits out between cackles.

 “That’s offensive and archaic, I can wear whatever I want,” Steve replies, still laughing.

 It seems to take forever before they calm down, one of them starting up again and setting the other off, but they finally relax. Danny rests his head on Steve’s chest, fingers playing idly with the collar of his t-shirt.

 “So,” Steve says, “you, um, think we’re going to have a wedding someday, you and me?”

 Danny is suddenly glad he’s got a shirt on, because otherwise he’d probably be sporting a full body blush.  “If it’s up to me?  Yeah.”

 Steve squeezes Danny so tight for a moment he can hardly breathe.  “I’d like that too.”

 *****

Danny’s getting out the ingredients to make pancakes the next morning when Steve’s phone rings.  Steve picks it up and answers, straightening his shoulders in a way that makes Danny stop rattling pans and pay attention.

 “Okay.  Understood. Understood.”

 This side of the call isn’t very informative, and Steve has walked out onto the deck, clearly focused on the conversation. Soon Danny sees him shove his phone back into his pocket, and then turn towards Danny with a wide grin on his face.

 “Danno?”  Steve strides towards him and takes him in his arms.  “It’s over.  Cath’s op is done, the guy is in custody.  We don’t have to pretend anymore.  It’s over.”

 “That’s great, babe-” Whatever else Danny was going to say is lost as Steve kisses him hard and long.  Danny gives back just as enthusiastically, pulling away just long enough to nip at Steve’s jaw and suck at that spot on his neck that always makes Steve moan - and today is no exception.  Danny’s practically humping Steve’s leg when Steve stops them and starts to tug Danny towards the stairs.  

 Danny nearly trips over his own feet in his hurry to follow him, and Steve beams back at him.  They’re both stripping off their clothes as they go up, but Steve grabs Danny’s hands just as he’s about to divest himself of his briefs.

 “Hang on, buddy, we need to make sure we’re on the same page,” Steve says, still grinning like a lunatic.  

 “I dunno, you get over your aversion to cheating on your not-wife?”

 Steve’s smile gets impossibly wider, and he yanks his pants up off the floor, pulling out his cell phone from a pocket and stabbing at it vigorously.

 “It’s not cheating if she says it’s ok – see?”

 Steve’s pulled up a text, clearly from Cath, which says you have my full permission to ravish and be ravished. Danny’s kind of curious as to what exactly Steve asked, to get that kind of response, but that’s a question for another time.  Right now, there are more important matters to attend to.

 “So, which one will it be, then?”  Danny asks, as Steve gets his thumbs under the waistband of Danny’s briefs and impatiently renders Danny naked.  “Ravish or be ravished?”

 Steve drops to his knees and smiles up at Danny, his hands already sliding up Danny’s thighs and making him quiver.  “I’ll bet we can do both.”

 They do.

[shewasanamericangirl]

screamin bout zi-o 36

i had fun doing this last week, so let’s make another screencap post! of course, i said that, and then it took several days to upload all the pictures because tumblr just stops fucking working sometimes. anyhoo! it’s yuko kitajima roast hour. image-heavy and spoiler-heavy, naturally.

so ginga blew everyone up and they ran away to a sewer it seems.

honestly that theory makes as much sense as anything else on this booty ass fuckin’ kamen rider show

i was just like...he isn’t

but then he was

swartz: she could step on me in those red pumps and i’d say Thank You

hora: i regret so much right now

uhr: *shonen anime character walking down the street pose*

then over quartzer plays and im starting to feel a little lost because i don’t get to hear about the episode according to woz’s book? hello??

yuko’s still out gettin her spa treatments and shit, god only knows how she got the money for all that, and somehow she never crosses paths with the cops or anyone who recognizes her from the news?? uh

honestly yeah?? a queen deserves to look GOOD. her theme music is eerily sexy, i need an mp3 of it right now

don’t get me wrong, im well aware that swartz is being a suck-up to try and get yuko to help with his plan to seize ginga’s power, but damn im kinda shipping swartz with yuko now too...i mean, he WAS looking at her while doing the sexy ice cream thing last week. what flavor ice cream would yuko be? black cherry chip maybe?

(headcanon: woz tries apple pie ice cream and declares it a crime against both apple pie and ice cream alike--but he still eats the whole coneful)

hora and uhr get ZA WARUDO’D down the stairs by swartz

we were all uhr right here

yeaaaaaah she just doesn’t want to fight ginga

tsukuyomi’s a mood. someone put a band-aid on geiz’s forehead pls

ok woz i get that if you’re looking for a despotic ruler to follow that yuko is likely a better bet than sougo, but you’re missing an important detail: if yuko actually had a shot at becoming queen of everything, she’d already have one of you in tow, and you would most likely hate each other.

...majou means “demon queen” in this case, not “witch”, right?

aaaaaand this...is the moment when yuko started making me very uncomfortable. the way she responds: “yes...i do remember. it’s you.”

and sougo’s face just lights up--my guy, she could so easily be lying. she didn’t say one thing about the band-aid or the playground or anything that’d indicate she’s actually sougo’s crush.

like...if not for the fact that sougo had such a crush on the seifuku girl, it wouldn’t be all that major a memory. it likely wasn’t for the girl in question--just a happy sunny day cheering up a lonely little boy. a beautiful memory, yes...but memories fade.

can someone please explain to me why woz’s characterization is all over the place in kiva arc? are you pro-yuko or anti-yuko, woz? i don’t understand what’s going through his pretty head at all honestly. he gets pretty taciturn in the scenes he’s not inhaling pie, but then at times he seems to think yuko’s cool aaaaaagh i don’t know

junichiro: meowing, just wanted an excuse to cook lots of food

sougo: “yay, uncle’s cooking!”

woz: [deadpan monotone] “yaaaaaaay uncle’s cooking...”

ive had enough of this evil bitch honestly but when she points it’s still Good Shit

ridiculous move name, but also an awesome move name

and turning to stone to heal up while the sun’s clouded over? very cool

denied

i noped so hard at this part. like...i really do feel protective of sougo. yuko doesn’t give a damn about him, she just doesn’t want him to get in her way.

nope. no. nuh uh. you two step away from each other right now.

YOU CANNOT MAKE BABIES WITH AN IDIOT FETUS

ok but in all seriousness, do you want time jackers? because, im calling it now, letting oma zi-o go in raw is how you get time jackers.

yeah im pretty sure miho would’ve kept at it if she’d lived, and yuko...shes not gonna listen to sougo

thank you for the much needed reality check furry man

so she’s a...fu-joshi? 👀

☝☝☝

yuko wears such fabulous shoes

was anyone surprised at this point that yuko was the real killer? i sure wasn’t. not after all the obvious lies.

i love her leitmotif. i need it. where do i download

SHE DIDN’T PROMISE SHIT

hey kids! it’s time for *mashes play button* la-la-la lies! yeah, tell me that you love me! la-la-la-lies! look deep into my eyes! la-la-la-lies! say there’s no one else above me! i’m the king of fools, cuz baby, you’re the queen of actually very hurtful and manipulative lies!

that’s such bullshit

now im the last person to be like “don’t play the dead mommy card”--i practically keep that card in the hello kitty wallet my dead mommy gave me. but i bet you yuko’s mom is just fine (aside from living with the trauma of knowing her daughter’s a murderer and pathological liar).

sougo,,,,,pls

thank you tsukuyomi. god sougo really needs a chaperone with yuko around, he’s way too dumb and thirsty.

GUESS WHO’S BACK. BACK AGAIN. fortunately, it seems swartz and woz have been just standing there watching him for the duration of the rain shower.

lest we forget (because i didn’t screencap it), when zi-o took the brunt of ginga’s attack earlier, it sent him flying. now, that’s a human body, which has some ability to absorb force because it’s mostly pretty soft and fluid. yuko’s manhole cover almost completely absorbed this blast--she barely shifted her weight on impact. is it just that she’s THAT ripped? 

then The Boys rider kick ginga to oblivion. rip ginga, you didn’t have a personality or a character arc, we never even saw you un-transformed--you were just a cool looking plot device with pretty attacks. but for that much, we appreciate you!

swartz looks so pleased with himself. he must not have watched the preview for this episode.

YOINK! gotta love how swartz doesn’t look surprised so much as puzzled.

sure am glad kurowoz took his other self’s advice and kept an eye on swartz

i love it so much how woz just has these magic scarf powers and it needs no explanation? hell, he can fly and time travel and make people fall asleep and he’s super strong too, with no explanation? and he’s the comic relief? ALSO HE’S REALLY HOT? woz is a being to behold honestly

speaking of super strong and really hot, yuko is KILLING IT in that gown. i mean...i guess that’s the intention. killing it. cuz she’s a homicidal maniac. haha.

she’s so good at pointing. yuko could be a prosecutor in shuichi kitaoka: ace attorney. (FUND IT)

yuko throws her manhole cover at the boys (rude!) and next we see geiz holding it. a shame we don’t get to see him snatch it out of midair. or did woz catch it and just hand it to him? we may never know.

zi-o. listen to geiz, zi-o. use the fucking watch. just use the watch, zi-o. you seriously plan on just letting another kiva go on a killing spree? do you not get by now what she’s capable of?

thank goodness zi-o has his retainers to make wise decisions so he doesn’t have to.

please note the placement of mars on ginga woz’s suit. very important.

I Love You

lmao

WHERE IS YOUR MANHOLE COVER NOW

my favorite character gets a beautiful rainbow final attack. i feel so blessed.

i mean...protecting all mankind would probably include protecting them from people like yuko. just sayin.

is it bad of me that my immediate thought right then was “at least woz’s attack wasn’t what did her in.”

this shot, especially in the context of the church, definitely gave me pieta vibes--albeit reversed somewhat.

weirdly enough, woz does an outro instead of an intro this episode.

at this point while watching, i said to shylax “you know what this calls for? pie!” but before i could finish--

--PIE! cmon sougo, it’s time to gobble up your feelings!

fucking woz, i swear, you have pie in your mouth and pie in your right hand and pie on your FACE and when your overlord expresses how miserable he is you just go for his uneaten pie with your empty hand.

...is it normal to eat pie like this in japan? because the only times i’ve seen americans make this much of a mess eating pie is when they’re toddlers.

oh hey, what do you know? looks like sougo’s first love wasn’t a violent crazy person after all. she also wasn’t yuko.

sougo’s just an idiot who will mistake any older woman who rubs him on the chin and calls him cute for his sailor girl.

previews!

i blame joshua kiryu

how eloquently this one line sums up not only kamen rider zi-o but kamen rider decade as well. that’s it, that’s the show. that’s the clusterfuck we will inevitably get whenever toei decides to make a kamen rider crossover.

LOOK AT THIS! TSUKUYOMI REMEMBERED SOMETHING! who is she smiling at? is it her dad? is that swartz behind her?! omg baby tsukuyomi is so CUTE!

“a team”. uh huh. is that what the youth are calling it these days? cuz when i was a wee lass, i believe they called it “fucking”.

so what have we learned this week?

very little about ginga

sougo does not remember faces all that well

before sougo dates ANYONE that person should be fully vetted by junichiro, geiz, tsukuyomi, and woz because CLEARLY HE CANNOT SAFELY CHOOSE A PARTNER FOR HIMSELF

i still really like yuko as a character, if not as a person. same as i enjoy junji ito manga, but would be very upset if most of it happened in real life.

swartz loves a woman who can kick his ass

what the fuck are manhole covers in this world

i can’t wait for baby tsukuyomi flashbacks! that, and more tsukasa.

[lobsters-on-their-heads]

OB Rewatch: Gag or Throttle

The episode from whence my thumbnail image came.

My first watch review can be found here: https://lobsters-on-their-heads.tumblr.com/post/163333202396/gag-or-throttle 

I loved

Exploring Rachel's character, background, and motivations. She'll never be my favorite character, but she is one of the most interesting characters. 

Two minutes later after seeing young Rachel talking with the Neos, adult Rachel introduces Kira Manning to the board, wearing the same outfit, at the same age, but rather less curated than Rachel was.

Fucking adorable Charlotte sitting wrapped in a blanket with her mug of cocoa or whatever, so proud that they “escaped on a boat with only a map and compass”

I love that Rachel had a real reason to side with the sisters, in her discovery of PT's eye-cam tablet. Although maybe it wasn’t so much siding with them as siding against PT.

The steady drum/ bass beat that starts once Rachel sits in her video room drinking herself numb. Season 5 doesn’t have quite the same spot-on soundtrack as previous seasons, but this was great.

“Fell from a punt and drowned” – “probably also alcohol poisoning”

The climax of this episode takes us back to earlier seasons. There’s horror and genuine suspense, and Ledas working together. 

And Kira, who can feel Rachel’s emotions, asking “Who hurt you?” and Rachel’s response - “All of them.”

Tat plays drunk so well. Finding little details fascinating, dragging the glass across her lap.

I love that Rachel ripped out her own fake eyeball, which was connected by actual tissue to her head. She will do ANYTHING to have control over her own body. I’m reminded of Leekie in Season 2 saying something like, “Rachel takes insult very personally.”

I liked

The opening flashback to young Rachel, with her almost robotic recitations of clones' tag numbers paired with picking her fingernails bloody. Although they seem to have CGI’d something onto Matt Frewer’s head.

There’s a great contrast of Rachel in this ep – vulnerable, undignified (two pelvic exams and a shot of her wiping the lube from between her legs while wearing a paper gown), talked down to – with the Rachel we met in Seasons 1 and 2 – meticulous, formal, controlling. 

“Liver deep” indeed. We've seen Alison put down some booze before.

I did like Mark's “oh for fuck's sake come 'ere” man hug of his mom.

They're giving Skyler Wexler much meatier material, which is great. They're not keeping her in “cute little kid who rests her chin on her hand” land, as other shows do with their token child. She’s not the greatest actress, but they hired her at the age of, like, 6, and she’s acting opposite Tatiana Maslany, so any less-than-perfections are totally forgivable in my book. 

Rachel keeps the bracelet Kira gives her and wears it for the rest of the episode!

I didn't like

S immediately busting out her handgun bundle when Sarah said they were making her wait until tomorrow to talk to Kira. Siobhan's been the calm one, as Sarah points out. It’s not the first time Dyad has taken Kira, not the first time things have seemed hopeless.

Cosima's reunion with Scott made me uncomfortable. Sure, I’m glad they had a reunion, and yes, they would be happy to see each other, but the zooming in on faces, the lingering embrace.... eh. [funny, I enjoyed this scene in my first watch]

The whole tired “married man rushes to clean the house moments before his wife gets back” schtick. I mean, okay, it fits here, since Donnie's been living totally alone and I would make a mess, too, and plus, maybe he didn’t have much notice that Alison was returning, but it’s a cliché I’d like to not see for a bit.

Alison's return. I like Alison a lot, but this isn't Alison, and this plot line doesn't work here at all. Nothing about her absence or sudden life change makes any damn sense at the end of Season 5. And she threw away her craft supplies! I mean, listen, I teach essay writing for a living, and one major point we stress is that you don’t bring in extra information in the conclusion unless it directly connects to something you wrote before. We’re in Episode 7 of 10, the final stretch, and Alison’s changes don’t connect.

I don't give a shit about Mark and Gracie. I do think the subplot of no one trying to cure the Castor men is an interesting one, but Mark and Gracie don't do it for me.

There's a lot of bouncing around / sudden scene changes / “gasp!” reveals that aren't gasp worthy.

Other notes

Interesting word choice - “our most curated subject... Rachel Duncan.”

I don't know enough about Dungeons and Dragons to know if Hell Wizard's comment about “DnD in real life” makes any damn sense.

Very telling that Rachel signs a document promising her freedom from the experiment, much like she pressure the sisters into doing in Season 1, but she thinks that this one is for real.

Canon confirmation that Leekie has seen Rachel's vagina. Or very close to it.

Imagine jerking off into a cup and knowing that you're going to be giving that cup to the woman you call your mother. The Castor men really are just as “curated” as Rachel’s been.

It took me a second to realize the implication of this shot the first time I watched it. I am not always smart.

Leekie shows real fascination and care for the clones when he discovers Rachel's autopsy of Miriam. He sees Miriam as a human being, not simply a lab rat. However, I think half of his anger towards Rachel is due to her going behind his back, not due to her “encouraging” Miriam to die.

I forgot, again, that Rachel and Cosima are played by the same person.

I am super impressed that Rachel managed to text while looking with one eye. Anyone who's received text messages from me can attest to the numbers of typos I make while looking at my phone with both eyes.

Speaking of eyes, I couldn't watch. Eyeball horror skeeves me out more than anything.

I have questions

Did Rachel believe PT’s story about his age and background? She’s pretty blasé when Sarah emails her that obit.

What is keeping Rachel's top up? I have so many questions about shirts/ dresses like this. As always, women’s fashion confuses me.

Rachel Duncan went to summer camp?!?! And had a friend!?! I need more information about this!

Were the friendship bracelet and questions about Rachel really all Kira's idea / natural personality? Did she intuit that Rachel was a good person inside? Or was it part of the hustle?

What is the issue, exactly, with Charlotte's leg? We see her on the bed with seem to be crossed legs, her brace on the bed beside her.

What the fuck happened with the revolt on the island last episode?

Why do the Castor boys all have distinct last names?

Do the Neolution symbles have meaning?

Did Coady leave Rachel's chart up on the computer on purpose? Did she want Rachel to see it?

In what room did Rachel perform that autopsy of Miriam?

So PT can hear everything too? Does the eye have a receiver, or has he just tapped her phone?

I would've liked to have seen

An entire episode devoted to Cosima and Charlotte escaping on a boat, with just a map and compass, and then sending the boat back out onto the water and making their way from the shore to the Rabbit Hole. I like to think that maybe they stopped somewhere for donuts on way back.

[lalka-laski]

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? There are so many reasons why that’s an absolute NOPE. 

2. You talked to an ex today, correct? Hell nah 

3. Have you taken someone’s virginity? Supposedly 

4. Is trust a big issue for you? If anything I am TOO trusting. So it’s an issue for me, just not in the conventional sense. 

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? We live together & spend almost every waking/non-working moment together. And surprisingly never get sick of each other! 

6. What are you excited for? Mexican & margs tonight with my ladies! Also, I’m getting my latest Starbucks addiction when I get out of work: iced oat milk brown sugar shaken espresso. SO GOOD!

7. What happened tonight? Tonight hasn’t happened yet. But see above for my plans^ 

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? I’d be the biggest hypocrite of all hypocrites if I thought that...HA 

9. Is confidence cute? Absolutely. But sometimes I find it off-putting just because I’m salty & jealous that *I* can’t feel that way about myself. 

10. What is the last beverage you had? Ginger & turmeric tea

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? 2-3ish 

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? It’s what I’m wearing right now 

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? That’s tonight 

14. What are you going to spend money on next? Food & drinks tonight  15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? Sure am 

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? Yeah

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Glenn, my sisters, my best friends 

18. The last time you felt broken? I had a really bad depressive episode a month or so ago. It was awful. 

19. Have you had sex today? Nope 

20. Are you starting to realize anything? Uhh...  21. Are you in a good mood? Yeah, all things considered. I don’t have much to complain about! 

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? No thank you 

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? Yes, although his are more blue and mine are more green.

24. What do you want right this second? My Starbucks drink! And maybe a breakfast sammy while I’m at it. 

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? Oh I would LOSE MY ENTIRE MIND. Good thing that’ll never happen. 

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? Nah, I dye it significantly lighter. 

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Nah

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? A Tiktok that Nat just sent me 

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? Yes

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? Most of the time, yes. 

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? Considering I live with him & am engaged to him, I’d hope not! 

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? Ha see above 

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? Nah, I wish though. I love sugary drinks. 

34. Listening to? Just my desk fan 

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? Never 

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? He’s home

37. Do you believe in love at first sight? Not really

38. Who did you last call? Kathleen 

39. Who was the last person you danced with? Glenn 

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? 'Cause I was leaving for the morning & saying goodbye

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? It’s been a minute. I’m not much of a cupcake person. 

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? No, I won’t see them 

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? I embarrass myself in front of EVERYONE 

44. Do you tan in the nude? I don’t tan, period. 

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? No way 

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? No, I went in the bedroom hours earlier than Glenn & just passed out cold. 

47. Who was the last person to call you? Grubhub, lol 

48. Do you sing in the shower? Mhm 

49. Do you dance in the car? Totally 

50. Ever used a bow and arrow? Yes actually 

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? It’s been awhile. But HOPEFULLY we will take our engagement pics soon. 

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? They can be, but it’s part of the fun.

53. Is Christmas stressful? It is but it’s an acceptable kind of stress. For me, anyways. 

54. Ever eat a pierogi? BITCH DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM 

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Cherry or dutch apple 

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Author & illustrator 

57. Do you believe in ghosts? Mhm 

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Frequently 

59. Take a vitamin daily? Yep 

60. Wear slippers? Sometimes, but most of the time I prefer to just be barefoot

61. Wear a bath robe? Sometimes. I have a few really cute ones that I should wear more. 

62. What do you wear to bed? Usually just an oversized tee shirt or night-gown. No pants

63. First concert? Teddy Geiger

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? I guess I’d choose Target but I’m not gonna lie. I love walking around a Walmart. Everyone makes fun of me but I don’t care! Plus, you can get some really great deals.

65. Nike or Adidas? No preference

66. Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos ALL DAY 

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Neither

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? I really like the song Paper Rings from Lover. 69. Ever take dance lessons? Nope

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? He’s an acupuncturist 

71. Can you curl your tongue? Yep 

72. Ever won a spelling bee? I’ve never been in one. I feel like I should’ve been though? So that’s kinda bogus! 

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Oh OFTEN! 

74. What is your favorite book? I couldn’t possibly just choose one.

75. Do you study better with or without music? Without. Or maybe occasionally something instrumental but even that can distract me

76. Regularly burn incense? Nah, I hate the scent & all incense smells the same to me. 

77. Ever been in love? Yep, currently

78. Who would you like to see in concert? The Killers (again)

79. What was the last concert you saw? Mat Kearney 

80. Hot tea or cold tea? Hot

81. Tea or coffee? Both! 

82. Favorite type of cookie? Chocolate chip or oatmeal! (NO raisins, though) 

83. Can you swim well? Decently. I kinda wanna take lessons to learn some actual strokes though 

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yep 

85. Are you patient? Quite the opposite  86. DJ or band, at a wedding? We are leaning towards a DJ just for cost’s sake but I’d LOVE a live band. I’d actually love to have Janine’s band play my reception but she will have too many bridesmaid duties that day- dang it! 

87. Ever won a contest? Mhm 

88. Ever have plastic surgery? No but I have a list of work I’d like done if I could ever afford it

89. Which are better black or green olives? I don’t like either 

90. Opinions on sex before marriage? Do you boo! 

91. Best room for a fireplace? The living room.

92. Do you want to get married? We intend to :)

[longforgottenunofficial]

Here Comes the Bride, Part Two: “Beating Heart”

That was her name, or title, I suppose you'd say.  "Beating Heart."  It's on all the blueprints and on the schematics for the figure herself, but somehow it never made its way into public usage.  Oh well. This and the next post have been extensively rewritten several times over the years as new evidence has continued to come to light. With this topic in particular, sometimes we feel like we're barely treading water around  here. The blog format proves extremely useful sometimes. In our last exciting episode, we traced BH's roots from the Brown Lady of Raynham Hall to the red-hearted candle bearer in the attic.  The project had proceeded to scale model phase, and still the attic ghostette wasn't clearly recognizable as a bride.  This final touch to the character was probably added in 1968.  The script for the "Story and Song" album refers to her as a bride, and this script in turn closely follows a '68 show script by X. Atencio.  Whose idea was it to turn this ghost into a bride, anyway? Ken Anderson makes a modest contribution, early in the process.  He wrote four show scripts in 1957-58 (essentially four; some of them have alternate ideas already included in them).  The first script in particular (Feb '57) is often cited as the beginning of our attic bride.  In it, Beauregard the butler directs our attention to a painting and tells the sad story of Captain Bartholomew Gore (aka Gideon Gorelieu) and his young bride Priscilla.

When Priscilla discovers the horrible truth that her husband is, in fact, a bloodthirsty pirate, he kills her.  Her ghost comes back for vengeance and eventually drives Capt. Gore to suicide.  Now the place is haunted.  Bingo, haunted house. Okay, that seems clear.  A tragic bride haunting the house, looking for revenge.  Case closed.  They just borrowed an old Ken Anderson idea.  Well, not so fast.  First of all, there's nothing associating Priscilla with the attic, and more importantly, she's a "bride" by definition b, not definition a.  A bride is a woman soon to be wed or recently wed.  The former wears a bridal gown; the latter wears a purple dress (or jeans, or whatevv), like our poor Priscilla.  Aside from the bare fact that she exists not too far distant in time from her wedding day, Pris really has nothing in common with the familiar attic bride of the finished ride.

Which one is naughty and which one is nice?  I'm not telling.

Anderson's other three scripts don't get us any closer to the attic bride.  Two of them do organize the present day's ghostly activities around a wedding feast.  In one, "Monsieur Bogeyman" is planning to marry "Mlle. Vampire," and all kinds of famous spooks and monsters are showing up (Dracula, Frankenstein, etc.).  She jilts him at the altar, and things get ugly.  (Truth be told, I'm very thankful that one ended up on the cutting room floor.)  In another, the narrator guides you through the house toward a wedding reception.  It seems the ghosts of the luckless Blood family have been trying to complete the tragically-interrupted marriage plans of one of their daughters, and sure enough, you do eventually see a ghostly wedding banquet of sorts taking place. Anderson can be credited with the notion that a wedding gone awry would make a good basis for a haunted house, and notice that in that last scenario, an actual ghost bride would have been represented. This might be a good place to ask the question: "Do we ever encounter a ghost bride in popular (or unpopular) culture before now?" Somehow she feels familiar, or at least not odd, but examples of ghost brides are hard to find. Hard, but not impossible:

From Judy, Or The London Serio-Comic Journal, 1876. Hat tip Craig Conley

Dude, we've even got cobwebs. Okay, so when do we get to see a ghost bride in Haunted Mansion artwork? Well, inMay of 2014 a never-before-seen Marc Davis sketch was published showing a ghost bride on a stairway landing.

D23/Disney Unfortunately, we have no date for this sketch. It does look like it may have been inspired by the old Ken Anderson sketch based in turn on the Brown Lady of Raynham Hall photo.

If it's one of Marc's earlier sketches, it may represent a sort of turning point,as Anderson's creepy ghost is transformed by Davis specifically into a bride. Whenever it was done, it isn't Marc's only ghost bride artwork. One of his many, many unused ideas for a changing portrait involved a forlorn-looking bride corpsifying before your eyes.

(Artwork ©Disney.  Animated gif by Captain Halfbeard)

This gets us even closer to where we will eventually end up. Obviously, Davis liked the ghost bride idea, and we may speculate that one day the light bulb clicked on, and he realized that his rather fierce-looking attic ghostette would actually be a perfect vehicle for the corpse bride concept.

And so it was.  At last our elusive ghost has donned a wedding gown.

They put Beating Heart in exactly the spot occupied by the maquette figure in the scale model; that is, on the left side, and a little ways to the left of the spot where today there is a ghostly piano (I'm talking DL, of course).  For you young'uns with short memories, her heart glowed red and visibly pumped back and forth, while the sound filled the attic:  Lub dub.  Lub dub.

That's where BH was on opening day, and that's where I remember seeing her on August 14th.  New info: A large plastic sheet (called "nylon 6") was in front of her, stretched from post to post and floor to ceiling, probably with the intent of making her appearance fuzzier.  That too jibes with my memory.  I remember her slowly rocking back and forth in an area that reminded me of a door frame, and she was definitely murky. She was only there a few weeks tops.  When the (infamous) Hatbox Ghost, which was located near the exit on the right, failed to perform as hoped and was removed, BH was transplanted to his old spot.  There she remained from Aug-Sept 1969 until May 2006, when she jumped the track to the other side and became Constance, that zany hubby-whackin' axe murderer. What did that original "Beating Heart" bride look like?  She bore a strong resemblance to the corpse phase of the Marc Davis changing portrait above, and so that version of the bride has picked up the name "Corpse Bride." For the Disneyland original, we have a number of good photos of the figure, from pre-opening photos of the figure before installation, down to 1975. Here's a montage of those:

We also catch a fleeting glimpse of her in the background of a scene from the March 1970 Disneyland Showtime episode, which featured the Osmond brothers and showcased the new Haunted Mansion.  The program was filmed in January or February of that year, so we're mere months past opening day.  If we shrink the 1975 CB photo down (center in the montage), blur it, and fade it, it bears an uncanny resemblance to the Osmonds bride.  That's 1970 on the left, 1975 on the right.

However, even that is not the oldest photography of the original bride standing in place in the attic. One day in June of 2011, Disney fan and historian Todd J. Pierce was going through a box of old home movies and photos he had acquired, and there he found a small reel dated August 1969.  To his astonishment, this one-minute film featured a rare glimpse of the Hat Box Ghost, as well as about three seconds of murky footage of the bride, the only known photography of the original bride in her original position.  An edited version of the film was posted at the Disney History Institute on July 9th.  Not much of the bride is visible, but you can see the red heart, beating back and forth, the tip of her glowing candle, and a number of large white smears and smudges.  Occasional details like her hair are visible only in a frame or two here and there.  Here's a GIF with a picture of the Corpse Bride superimposed on a combined still from the film.  The candle tips don't line up, because she's holding it at different points in the arc of movement up and down.  With some other bride photos the alignment is exact, so between that and the heart it's possible to place her pretty accurately in the frame.

The eyes of the Corpse Bride were never very bright, so they don't show up except very dimly in one frame:

Exactly when the Corpse Bride was replaced is not known, neither for DL, nor for her twin at WDW.  Based on what evidence I have, the latest possible date would be the late 80's. There is some evidence suggesting that the Corpse Bride was still in use at WDW in the late 70's, so "sometime in the 80's" cannot be far off. Speaking of WDW, unlike the situation with regard to Anaheim, photos of the original WDW bride are extremely rare. One surfaced in February of 2013 and showed up at the irreplaceable Daveland site. It's the Corpse Bride, all right, but her face in Orlando was never painted with the same amount of detail as the DL version, especially in the lower part of the face.

Remarkably, there exists also a film clip of the original WDW bride from 1976:

[Visit original post to view video clip.]

"Long-Forgotten" threadster Michigan Guy has put together an artist's conception of what the Disneyland original looked like, and based on available evidence I'd say it's pretty accurate.  Kids, hide your eyes!

Starting with that, here's my conception of what she looked like.  I mean it, kids: don't look!

Okay, fine.  Not my fault if you have nightmares.  Where are your parents? ☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆ Before we bring this episode to a close, I suppose that something needs to be said about the photo below. It's sorta well-known, and it's often presented as the original 1969 bride.

There are enough idiosyncrasies about it that at least one intelligent observer has argued that it is a pre-opening prototype and not a production figure.  The most glaring problem is the slit-like eyes.  No other bride photo shows anything like that.  Highly suspect. In fairness, those eyes might be a conservative hold-over from the design you see in the maquette figure, which also has slittish eyes:

Not only that, but as it happens the mechanical design of the lighted eyes would allow for any amount of manipulation of their shape.  You just mask the WALL -E eye box in her head (well, that's what it reminds me of) in any way you think appropriate and get any shape eye you want.

So yeah, I suppose it's theoretically possible that the slit-eyed bride was there as a short-lived experiment, but it's extremely unlikely that she was the original.  Like the round-eyed, dark-faced version that eventually replaced the Corpse Bride (seen above on the left), the slit-eye version has very bright eyes. They would certainly have been visible in the August '69 film footage if she were standing there, but the eyes are only visible in one frame, and even then just barely. I'm pretty sure the mystery photo is either a picture of the second version of Beating Heart (with the eyes narrowed), or it's a prototype.

Next up:  Ol' Round Eyes and the "middle" brides.

Originally Posted: Tuesday, May 18, 2010 Original Link: [x]

[hysydney]

Now you see it, now you see it again Pt 15:  silk screen

Phryne’s blouses reflect the explosion of colour and patterning that typified the 1920s with its art deco, geometric designs, and eastern and Egyptian influences. 

One of these blouses  has a cowl neck, the silk draped in soft folds at the front, petal sleeves, a set in waistband and intricate buttoning to the V-shaped back. The fabric’s pattern of olive and dark green-greys resembles polished jade or perhaps Egyptian debens, weights.

It first appears in Blood and Circuses. Phryne, Dot and Jane are clustered around the kitchen table, tasting the contents of a saucepan. There is harmony of colour both inside and out into the courtyard with gentle pinks, peaches , beige and creams, greens and khakis. It is a simple scene of domestic felicity.

The change of mood is sudden as Mr B announces the arrival of a visitor. Domestic delight is shattered immediately and a sombreness descends on the scene.

Mr B: Mr Samson to see you, Miss Fisher, from the circus.... Oh. Should I suggest he call another time? 

Phryne: No, no, I'll see him. 

Dot: Who is he? 

Phryne: He's... ..someone I knew a long time ago.

It is not the visitor himself who engenders alarm, as Samson is as gentle as he is gigantic, as mild as he is massive.

Samson’s presence evokes memories of things past for Phryne.  Of circuses and her sister, the ever-present sense of loss, of guilt, of desire to know what happened.  The earlier scene in the kitchen reflects Phryne’s happy memories of being with her sister at the circus before she disappeared, both colours and composition - Jane and Janey’s ribboned plaits, the sepia tones.

The conversation with Samson and his request for Phryne to assist with an investigation of a suspicious death at the circus, takes them first to the veranda of Wardlow where a bunch of lavender complements Phryne’s dark purple suit jacket worn over the blouse ...

Sam: But I hear you're in the business of solving crimes. 

Phryne: I'd like to help you, Samson, but I can't. I can't go back there.

Then to City South to engage Jack’s help on a case that Phryne does not believe she can take on.  This time the coat has matching hat and feather trim.

Jack remains to be convinced of the need for his interference, having already assigned the case to the ghastly Snr Sgt Grossmith.  

But wait! Could Jack’s tie be a match for Phryne’s blouse?

Phryne, Samson and the blouse head off to take on the case without Jack’s assistance (for the time being),

and Jack decides, nonetheless, to keep a closer eye on things in the background, and has a bit of a lean (on Grossmith).

Jack: Miss Fisher was just inquiring about the carnival murder.

G’smith: Yeah, it's all in hand.

Jack: Perhaps you could use some assistance. Constable Collins, you'll be working with Senior Sergeant Grossmith.

But that’s not the end of the beautiful blouse. As Phryne decides to go undercover under the big top, we see the blouse being slowly transformed.

Phryne: Anything with feathers, fur or fins, Dot! Bring it all! 

Dot: Why the disguise, Miss? 

Phryne: Circus people are a very suspicious lot. They're not likely to tell the truth to an outsider.

The shadow of Janey’s disappearance, abduction and murder by Murdoch Foyle is a constant throughout the series. In this episode, the circus recreates the events that Phryne reveals to Samson are “never far from my mind.”  Murdoch Foyle himself lurks with intent:

And what of our Jack and his lack of interest in the case? Well, of course, he soon realises Grossmith’s duplicitous conduct, and it is he to whom Phryne reveals her guilt, in a scene as poignantly telling as it is tragic:

Phryne: It was too late. 

Jack: You were just a child. 

Phryne: It was my fault. 

Jack: No. No, I can't agree. I dismiss the charges. 

Phryne: You can't. I lost her, Jack. I lost her.

Now I know there’s a very similar blouse in Death Comes Knocking, but forensic examination has revealed it’s not the same  - similar silk chiffon fabric, but the sleeves, colour and fabric pattern are different.... So there goes that line of symmetry.

But there is another sighting...

The blouse’s second appearance is in King Memses’ Curse, as Foyle’s full narrative unfolds - his actions are the result of self-obsession and a self-proclaimed transcendence requiring sacrifices, Janey’s and Phryne’s among them.

Phryne wears the blouse with her detective trench coat throughout its occurrence in this episode.  We see it on her second visit to an academic, a former student of Foyle’s, who has agreed to help decipher the meaning of a ring and some inscriptions on two Egyptian debens, weights found on murder victims. Unbeknown to her, Rhodes is collaborating with Foyle and leading Phryne into a well-planned trap.

Rhodes’ cravat bears an uncanny similarity to the tones of the blouse, as do the decor and artefacts of his office.  The setting is harmonious rather than sinister reflecting Phryne’s ignorance of Rhodes’ complicity.

Phryne: So what's the significance of the ring? 

Rhodes: Well, Egyptians believed if your name was written down, it identified you and assured your ascendance to the afterlife. 

Phryne: And the four goddesses protected you? 

Rhodes: Yes. Yes, most sarcophagi have the four goddesses wrapping their wings around each corner to protect the soul on its journey. And I have those translations for you. They're just notes, phrases. The first one means 'to dedicate'. And the simplest translation of the second deben is 'the girl child'. 

Phryne: To dedicate the girl child. So that's what he thinks he's been doing. 

Rhodes: Girl child, or possibly daughter.

The horrible truth then comes to her as she understands the danger in which she has left Jane at home, despite a protection squad. Still unsuspecting of Rhodes’ involvement:

Phryne: Would you mind if I use your telephone?

Once she is at home the danger is immediately realised; a household drugged, Jane missing.

She goes straight to Jack and the differences in their demeanour and character are marked in their exchange; Jack composure and reason, Phryne desperation, the horror of history repeating itself leaving her in anguish and despair:

Jack: Alright. Let’s go through the facts calmly.

Phryne: How can I be calm when the fact is we haven’t the faintest idea where Foyle’s taken her!

(NP: I wanted to give my Jack a stillness and gravitas to counter the whirlwind climate that Phryne naturally creates around her. For me, it was important for him not to be thrown or dazzled by that atmosphere and to be the stillness in that storm.)

But they scarcely have time to consider where Foyle may have taken Jane when another tragedy reveals itself. Theresa Cavalli, another former student and also former lover of Foyle’s, is found, literally, on the sacrificial alter at the local church. (Father O’Leary must eventually question Dot’s association with his parish! It is littered with corpses...)

The colours of the mosaic floors and the vaulted transept seem too to reflect the tones of Phryne’s outfit; harmony amidst chaos.

From the church back to City South, where Phryne sees the extent of the forensic attention Jack has been giving the case.  And more sepia tones backgrounding their exchanges.

Their dates of birth link Foyle’s victims, and  Foyle himself. And then Phryne too.

Phryne: My father was drunk when he registered Janey's birth, and he put the wrong date on the certificate. It should have been me Foyle took instead of Janey. It's my birthday, Jack. Midsummer's Eve, same as the others. I'm Foyle's fourth goddess. That's why he's after me. 

Jack: So all he needs now for his ascension into the afterlife is you.

Jack takes drastic action to ensure the maelstrom of Phryne’s reaction doesn’t harm her or those she loves.

Phryne: Foyle can have me, if he lets Jane go. 

Jack: You can't go and offer yourself. 

Phryne: Rhodes is the last one on Foyle's list, and he has the ring. I need to go back there. 

Jack: I won't let you. You're under arrest... For your own safety. 

Shadows and bars, so often the image of those Phryne defends, imprison her. But it is short-lived; Dot, conspiring with Hugh, releases her and she is drawn further into Foyle’s game plan.

Jack retraces Phryne’s steps from earlier that afternoon, to Rhodes’ office, its decor now quietly ominous:

Rhodes: Inspector. Come in. 

Jack: Thank you. 

Rhodes: I heard about Mr Monkton and Mr Waters. Terrible news. 

Jack: And Miss Cavalli's body was found earlier today. She was strangled. 

Rhodes: Oh. No. I'd hoped she was somewhere safe from him. 

Jack: She had a ring that Foyle was after. I believe Miss Fisher left it with you. 

Rhodes: Yes. A rare artefact from the Fifth Dynasty. The reign of King Memses. 

Jack: Given it's part of our investigation, we'll have to take it into police custody. 

Rhodes: Yes, of course. Miss Fisher left in a hurry, but I kept it safe for her, with the rest of the antiquities collection. Downstairs.

Phryne’s final visit too, seems to be shrouded in menace. There are eyes everywhere.

The camera provides a close-up of a statue of Anubis, the jackal god, god of the dead, watched over the process of mummifying people when they died.

Phryne is lead, inevitably, irrevocably, to Foyle.

Foyle: Well done, Phryne Fisher. Did you like my trail of crumbs? You can kill me now, but you'll never see your daughter or policeman alive. My fourth goddess.

When we drink from these sacred cups, you and I will leave this mortal life in peace and full knowledge. First you, Miss Fisher. Your limbs will grow heavy but your mind will calm. And I will help you cross over to the other side as swiftly as I can... And you too will lie beside your sister, for all time.

Jack and Jane combine forces to release themselves from entombment just in time to foil Foyle, and catch the flagging Phryne, semi-conscious from Foyle’s toxic draught.

So that’s it for the blouse, as we next see Phryne recovered and ready to host her birthday party in one of the most ravishing of gowns.

And as Phryne prepares to celebrate her birthday party, Jack slips into something more comfortable  - a lean, a matching tie and a glass of champers.