#also someone needs to stop her from teaching tainted dream magic to people

[keyofshadows]

@akingdomtheorist

So! Ridiculous conversation that’s gonna strike me as funny for the next week, probably. Which I could definitely use, but whatever. Thought I’d amuse you with it since your cupcake started it, lol.

keyofshadows Tomorrow's Eli's birthday. Confetti for all.

akingdomtheorist Adion will make him a cupcake

keyofshadows Awe. He'd be touched. And Adion would get a hug. Also one of those pointy birthday hats.

akingdomtheorist What if the cupcake was shaped like a pointy birthday hat

keyofshadows Pfffff he'd demand to know if the dragon was conspiring with his mom. She used to sew him a replica of Yen Sid's hat every few years and make him wear it on his birthday while she took pictures. From his literal 'I'm twenty minutes old' birthday until he was eighteen. IS THIS POINTY BIRTHDAY HAT CAKE A REFERENCE TO HIS HAT NEMESIS

sstingray yen sid knows about the hats

keyofshadows Is he amused or shaking his head because what is wrong with these people

sstingray secretly amused but won't show it is my wager

keyofshadows I wonder how much Eli was complaining under his breath about it during his lovely summer of responsibility training also I wonder how many dirty looks he was giving Yen Sid's hat while the man was wearing it because whoops

sstingray the master probably noticed it and said something to him eventually.

keyofshadows lmao. "It's not you Sir, honest! It's just...uh...nothing, actually, never mind, I'm supposed to be mopping or something, better get back to that." /slinks off because oh my god, explaining to Yen Sid about the Hat when he has no idea he already knows, pfff. Poor Eli.

sstingray not pictured: ray in the background trying really hard not to laugh

keyofshadows Oh sure, enjoy your amusement now, he'll get you back for it. Someday. Somehow. Maybe. She can babysit his eventual demonspawn, that'll do it. ...Which would be more of a punishment to the kids, actually.

sstingray and she'll get just as much fun out of that as she did watching him

keyofshadows Okay, we totally know what we're doing with Auryn when he misbehaves. Off to aunt Ray's for a pop quiz!

sstingray secretly gives him cookies when they're not looking

keyofshadows Ray's gonna end up with a kid that mouths off just to be sent for 'punishment', you know. Though he'll be more of an actual pain in the ass as a teenager. Amelia says don't worry about that, she and Nico will knock him into shape. With his own Keyblade, if necessary.

sstingray but eli she is not a tool to punish your children with! gosh!!

sstingray well if he misbehaves TOO badly he'll still learn not to cross her

keyofshadows The Grasshopper knows this. But really, it's Date Night and he and Specter really wanted to have some quiet movie time that didn't involve Auryn yelling in the background from upstairs. I should probably feel bad for Ray having to deal with the next generation of troublemakers, but nope. Too busy snickering.

sstingray it's fine they'll watch a movie that eli doesn't want him to see

keyofshadows Which would probably be anything with drunk elephants. Dumbo is Evil. So is Bambi, but for completely different reasons.

sstingray well. if auryn is up for it...

keyofshadows This is Eli's punk firstborn, of course he is.

sstingray welp. pink elephants on parade it is!

keyofshadows And Ray then gets to field ALL the questions, like how can elephants get drunk, and why isn't HE even allowed more than a can of soda a day if whatever Dumbo had was worse - wait, was that elephant beer? Or did he drink funny water? And if he drinks too much soda is he gonna see pink elephants too? Is THAT why he's not allowed too much? Can he have a few cans and find out?

sstingray fermentation is a terrible thing, you're too young kid, maybe idk but i saw this video once of elephants eating fermented fruits and getting totally trashed, honestly who even knows anymore, no, no it's because you'll get a sugar high and it's also terrible for your health, and no

keyofshadows He is completely unhappy with all of these answers, he'll have you know. Except the trashed elephant video, he wants to see that. BUT. He's gonna complain to Nico first (who will tell him to Listen To Aunt Ray She Knows More Than Them) and then he'll go home and whine at his dad BECAUSE AUNT RAY IS BEING UNFAIR FIX THIS

keyofshadows Eli just snickering and yeah, no, you have no idea of the meaning of 'unfair' when it comes to her, short stuff, sorry.

sstingray eli's probably like "that's what she does there is nothing i can do"

keyofshadows Nor does he wish to try, he's too old for another Darkside/Twilight Thorn/Who Knows What That Is pop quiz. He has kids now! (He's never too old, lmao. Kai'll boot him over for laughs.)

sstingray in which kai accidentally initiates a game of corridor ping pong with eli as the ball

keyofshadows Pfff. Kai says he thought he was going to get into trouble for booting the Epic Dork through Corridors, or does that only count when he's kicking him into the Maw?

sstingray nnnnno he'll probably be in trouble for it later but aunt ray has a life too you know she can't deal with your antics all the time!! there are seas to be sailed! treasures to be found! magics to learn!

keyofshadows Good, then can she take Soren with, he needs a way to deal with him this week that A - Does not involve setting his sneakers on fire AGAIN and B - Keeps Ro from rescuing him. Little brother gets seasick, little brother won't be warping over to pick him up. ...The maturity is astounding.

sstingray just for that she'll kick kai into the ocean

keyofshadows This is punishment how? He can swim. Also will probably open a Corridor and drop into it before he hits the water because he's a little shit.

sstingray either way he's off her ship so she'll count it as a win

sstingray not if she kicks him into her own portal and drops him right above the water

keyofshadows This is how you make enemies, Ray. (lmao, as if he'd do more than sulk for a few days before showing up again to get cookies/ask a favor/see what she thinks is a good present for Ro's birthday)

sstingray puhlease she'll take kai on pirate adventures someday

keyofshadows Do we really want a Keyblade wielder pretending to be a pirate. Or even just on the ship for longer than thirty seconds. (Yes.)

sstingray um duh?? how fun could that be

keyofshadows Kai's pointing out it should be Keyblade MASTER by that time, get it right. This from Mr. 'There's no way I'd ever be that good' who eventually is because whoops, Auryn's training is filled with fetching the chips Mastery Exams. I didn't know that traumatizing was another word for fun.

sstingray isn't that the epitome of everyone's time with their favorite aunt

keyofshadows There was just a resounding 'YES', so.

sstingray well there you go!

keyofshadows /snicker

keyofshadows The pirate thing is gonna turn into tradition, just like Ray taking on Eli as an apprentice started that ball rolling for him. She should pop on by one of the rabbit holes of Wanderer's Refuge again and see if she can land anywhere near Fen's time again. Be greeted by a slightly older (no more than 18, probably) Az, who happily informs her about how she's 'retraining' Celia's apprentice Seth, much to her dad's horror. Probably much to Ray's too, lol. 'Wait, wasn't he the boy that kept going creeper on you? That you hated? WHAT ARE YOU DOING'

sstingray no no its not a bad thing retraining is good

sstingray show him the light girl you go though lol god forbid ray ever have kids and they get mixed up with eli's family that's just gonna be chaos everywhere

keyofshadows Fen asks Ray to PLEASE not encourage his baby, he doesn't like Seth, he doesn't trust him, how does he know he's not going back to Celia and telling her things AZ IS NOT READY FOR THIS STUFF. OMG

sstingray also how would even feel about ray showing up again Oh welp

keyofshadows SO MUCH CHAOS.

sstingray that's the thing about light fen, sometimes you just gotta trust someone

keyofshadows Also no one minds Ray's random drop-ins, she's the Refs boogieman, after all.

sstingray and maybe put a tracker on them u know whatever works

keyofshadows He refuses to trust Seth, he's a little shit.

sstingray excellent her legend will live on

keyofshadows Az'll threaten her kids with Ray popping out of nowhere, just for the entertainment value.

sstingray I have a feeling her hypothetical family would get on great in the chaos tho lmao az can be like IT HAPPENS. A LOT ACTUALLY. we should probably do something about that

keyofshadows Just like how she's naming her firstborn son Jalen, also for the entertainment value. She can hear the grumping from the original through the rabbit hole, lmfao.

sstingray listen ray never asked to be an accidental time traveler it's weird ok

keyofshadows Also hilarious

sstingray she'll be sure to tell Jalen that when she gets back

keyofshadows The kid's gonna be the bounciest, most cheerful baby ever. /cackle

sstingray Oh how delightful!

keyofshadows Az thinks so~

keyofshadows Fen's twitching now because apparently Az is over her crush on Leo and he'd actually rather she go drool over the grease-covered boy Not From Here as opposed to the direction she's looking in. /facepalm

sstingray he could always come back :v

keyofshadows Imagine Fen trying to convince Leo to distract his daughter from the weirdo she's currently 'retraining'. For her own good, of course, not his nerves. /dies

sstingray leo is like whoa that is none of my business dude. slowly backs away.

keyofshadows Az is just smirking. Ha ha dad. But hey, nice to see you Leo, still eating sandwiches out of that toolbelt of yours? Somebody made rice krispy treats if he wants any.

sstingray great now that he gets to see her again, yes, and y e s where can find them?!

keyofshadows lol. Just opens a Light corridor and hands him a whole plateful.

sstingray !!! did he ever tell her he loves her cause he totally does

keyofshadows OH GOOD WAY TO START OFF THE AWKWARD BLUSHING LEO THANKS

sstingray thumbs up!!

keyofshadows Fen's trying not to applaud. Go away, you, quit trying to influence things. His wife would swat him.

[ariainstars]

Thank You, Disney Lucasfilm… For Destroying My Dreams

Warning: longer post.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So… I watched The Rise of Skywalker on Disney+ a few weeks ago. Again.

Sigh.

I guess it has its good sides. But professional critics tend to dislike it and even the general audience doesn’t go crazy for it. I wonder why?

  The Fantasy

When his saga became a groundbreaking pop phenomenon in the 1970es, George Lucas reportedly said that he wanted to tell fairy tales again in world that no longer seemed to offer young people a chance to grow up with them. The fact that his saga was met with such unabashed, international enthusiasm proves that he was right: people long for fairy tales no matter how old they are and what culture they belong to.

“Young people today don’t have a fantasy life anymore, not the way we did… All they’ve got is Kojak and Dirty Harry. All the films they see are movies of disasters and insecurity and realistic violence.” (George Lucas)

I’ve been a Star Wars fan for more than thirty years. I love the Original Trilogy but honestly it did not make me dream much, perhaps because when I saw it the trilogy was already complete. The Prequel Trilogy also did not inspire my fantasy.

The Last Jedi accomplished something that no TV show, book or film had managed in years: it made me dream. The richness of colorful characters, multifaceted themes, unexpected developments, intriguing relationships was something I had not come across in a long time: it fascinated me. I felt like a giddy teenager reading up meta’s, writing my own and imagining all sorts of beautiful endings for the saga for almost two years.

So if there’s something The Rise of Skywalker can pride itself on for me, it’s that it crushed almost every dream I had about it. The few things I had figured out – Rey’s fall to the Dark, Ben Solo’s redemption, the connection between them - did not even make me happy because they were tainted by the flatness of the storytelling reducing the Force to a superpower again (like the general audience seems to believe it is), and its deliberate ignoring of almost all messages of The Last Jedi.

Many fans of the Original Trilogy also were disillusioned by the saga over the decades and ranted at the studios for “destroying their childhood”. Now we, the fans of the sequels and in particular of The Last Jedi, are in the same situation… but the thought doesn’t make the pill much easier to swallow. What grates on my nerves is the feeling that someone trampled on my just newly found dreams like a naughty child kicking a doll’s house apart. Why give us something to dream of in the first place, then? To a certain extent I can understand that many fans would angrily assume that Disney Lucasfilm made the Sequel Trilogy for the purpose of destroying their idea of the saga. The point is that they had their happy ending, while every dream the fans of the Sequel Trilogy may have had was shattered with this unexpectedly flat and hollow final note.

I know many fans who dislike the Prequel Trilogy heartily. I also prefer the Original Trilogy, but I find the prequels all right in their own way, also since I gave them some thought. However, it can’t be denied that they lack the magic spark which made the Original Trilogy so special. Which makes sense since they are not a fairy tale but ultimately a tragedy, but in my opinion it’s the one of the main reasons why the Prequel Trilogy never was quite so successful, or so beloved.

Same goes for Rogue One, Solo, or Clone Wars. They’re ok in their way, but not magical.

The sequel trilogy started quite satisfyingly with The Force Awakens, but for me, the actual bomb dropped with The Last Jedi. Reason? It was a magical story. It had the spark again that I had missed in the new Star Wars stories for decades! And it was packed full of beautiful messages and promises.

The Force is not a superpower belonging solely to the Jedi Anyone can be a hero. Even the greatest heroes can fail, but they will still be heroes. Hope is like the sun: if you only believe in it when you see it you’ll never make it through the night. Failure is the greatest teacher. It’s more important to save the light than to seem a hero. No one is never truly gone. War is only a machine. Dark Side and Light Side can be unbeatable if they are allies. Save what you love instead of destroying what you hate.

Naively, I assumed the trilogy would continue and end in that same magical way. And then came The Rise of Skywalker… which looks and feels like a Marvel superhero story at best and an over-long videogame at worst.

Chekov’s Gun

“Remove everything that has no relevance to the story. If you say in the first chapter that there is a rifle hanging on the wall, in the second or third chapter it absolutely must go off. If it’s not going to be fired, it shouldn’t be hanging there.”

(Anton Chekov, 1860 - 1904)

If you show an important looking prop and don’t put it to use, it leaves the audience feeling baffled. There is a huge difference between a story’s setup, and the audience’s feeling of entitlement. E.g. many viewers expected Luke to jump right back into the fray in Episode VIII, because that’s what a hero does, isn’t it? The cavalry comes and saves the day. And instead, we met a disillusioned elderly hermit who is tired of the ways of the Jedi. But there was no actual reason for disappointment: in Episode VII it was very clearly said (through Han, his best friend) that Luke had gone into exile on purpose, feeling responsible for his failure in teaching a new generation of Jedi. It would have been more than stupid to show him as an all-powerful and all-knowing man who kills the bad guys. Sorry but who expected that was a victim to his own prejudice.

A promise left unfulfilled is a different story. The Last Jedi set up a lot of promises that didn’t come true in The Rise of Skywalker: Balance as announced by the Jedi temple mosaic, a new Jedi Order hinted at by Luke on Crait, a good ending for Ben and Rey set up by the hand-touching scene which was opposite to Anakin’s and Padmés wedding scene. Many fans were annoyed about the Canto Bight sequence. I liked it because it felt like the set-up for a lot of important stuff: partnership between Finn and Rose whom we see working together excellently, freedom for the enslaved children (one of whom is Force-sensitive), DJ and Rose expressing what makes wars in general foolish and beside the point. So if we, the fans of Episode VIII, now feel angry and let down, I daresay it’s not due to entitlement. We were announced magical outcomes and not just pew-pew.

The Star Wars saga never repeated itself but always developed and enlarged its themes, so it was to be expected that delving deeper, uncomfortable truths would come out: wars don’t start out of nowhere, and they don’t flare up and continue for decades for the same reason. In order to find Balance, the Jedi’s and the Skywalker family’s myths needed to be dismantled. Which is not necessarily bad as long it is explained how things came to this, and a better alternative is offered. The prequels explained the old political order and the beginnings of the Skywalker family, and announced that the next generation would do better. The sequels hardly explained anything about the 30 years that passed since our heroes won the battle against the Empire, and while The Last Jedi hinted at the future a lot, The Rise of Skywalker seemed to make a point of ignoring all of it.

  The Skywalker Family Is Obliterated. Why?

Luke was proven right that his nephew would mean the end of everything he loved. The lineage of the Chosen One is gone. His grandson had begun where Vader had ended - tormented, pale and with sad eyes - and he met the same fate. Luke, Han, Leia, all sacrificed themselves to bring Ben Solo back for nothing. Him being the reincarnation of the Chosen One and getting a new chance should have been meaningful for all of them; instead, he literally left the scepter to Rey who did nothing to deserve it: merely because she killed the Bad Guy does not mean she will do a better job than the family whose name and legacy she proudly takes over.

I do hope there was a good reason if the sequels did not tell “The New Adventures of Luke, Leia and Han” and instead showed us a broken family on the eve of its wipeout. It would have been much easier, and more fun for the audience, to bring the trio back again after a few years and pick up where they had left. Instead we had to watch their son, nephew and heir go his grandfather’s way - born with huge power, branded as Meant to Be Dangerous from the start, tried his best to be a Jedi although he wanted to be a pilot, never felt accepted, abandoned in the moment of his greatest need, went to his abuser because he was the only one to turn to, became a criminal, his own family (in Anakin’s case: Obi-Wan and Yoda) trained the person who was closest to him to kill him, sacrificed himself for this person and died. And in his case, it’s particularly frustrating because Kylo Ren wasn’t half as impressive a villain as Vader, and Ben Solo had a very limited time of heroism and personal fulfilment, contrarily to Anakin when he was young.

The impact of The Rise of Skywalker was traumatic for some viewers. I know of adolescents and adults, victims of family abandonment and abuse, who identified with Ben: they were told that you can never be more than the sum of your abuse and abandonment, and that they’re replaceable if they’re not “good”. Children identifying with Rey were told that their parents might sell them away for “protection”. Rey was not conflicted, she had a few doubts but overall, she was cool about everything she did, so she got everything on a silver platter; that’s why as a viewer, after a while you stopped caring for her. Her antagonist was doomed from birth because he dared to question the choices other people made for him. It seems that in the Star Wars universe, you can only “rise” if you’re either a criminal but cool because you’ve always got a bucket over your head (Vader / the Mandalorian) or are a saint-like figure (Luke / Rey).

One of Obi-Wan’s first actions in A New Hope is cutting off someone’s arm who was only annoying him; Han Solo, ditto. These were no acts of self-defense. The Mandalorian is an outlaw. Yet they are highly popular. Why? Because they always keep their cool, so anything they do seems justified. Young Anakin was hated, Jake Lloyd and Hayden Christensen attacked for his portrayal. For the same reason many fans feel that Luke is the least important of the original trio although basically the Original Trilogy is his story: it seems the general audience hates nothing more than emotionality in a guy. They want James Bond, Batman or Indiana Jones as the lead. Padmé loved Anakin because she always saw the good little boy he once was in him; his attempts at impressing her with his flirting or his masculinity failed. Kylo tried to impress Rey with his knowledge and power, but she fled from him - she wanted the gentle, emphatic young man who had listened to her when she felt alone. Good message. But both died miserably, and Ben didn’t even get anything but a kiss. Realizing that his “not being as strong as Darth Vader” might actually be a strength of its own would have meant much more.

The heroes of the Original Trilogy had their adventures together and their happy ending; the heroes of the Prequel Trilogy also had good times and accomplishments in their youth, before everything went awry. Rey, Finn and Poe feel like their friendship hardly got started; Rose was almost obliterated from the narrative; and Ben Solo seems to have had only one happy moment in his entire life. Of course it’s terrible that he committed patricide (even if it was under coercion), but Anakin / Vader himself had two happy endings in the Prequel Trilogy before he became the monster we know so well. Not to mention Clone Wars, where he has heroic moments unnumbered.

The Skywalker family is obliterated without Balance in the Force, and the young woman who inherited all doesn’t seem to have learned any lesson from all this. The Original Trilogy became a part of pop culture among other things because its ending was satisfying. We can hardly be expected to be satisfied with an ending where our heroes are all dead and the heir of their worst enemy takes over. What good was the happy ending of the Original Trilogy for if they didn’t learn enough from their misadventures to learn how to protect one single person - their son and nephew, their future?

For a long time, I also thought that the saga was about Good vs. Evil. Watching the prequels again, I came to the conclusion that it is rather about Love vs. War. And now, considering as a whole, I believe it to be essentially Jedi against Skywalker. The ending, as it is now, says that both fractions lost: they annihilated one another, leaving a third party in charge, who believes to be both but actually knows very little about them.

Star Wars and Morality

After 9 films and 42 years, it still is not possible to make the general audience accept that it is wrong to divide people between Good and Evil in the first place. The massive rejection of both prequels and sequels, which have moral grey zones galore, shows it.

It is also not possible without being accused of actual blasphemy in the same fandom, to say the plain truth that no Skywalker ever was a Jedi at heart. As their name says, they’re pilots. Luke was the last and strongest of all Jedi because he always was first and foremost himself. Anakin was crushed by the Jedi’s attempts to stifle his feelings. His grandson, too. A Force-sensitive person ought to have the choice whether they want to be a Jedi or not; they ought not to be taught to suppress their emotions and live only on duty, without really caring for other people; and they ought to grow up feeling in a safe and loving environment, not torn away from their families in infancy, indoctrinated and provided with a light sabre (a deadly weapon) while they’re still small. A Jedi order composed of child soldiers or know-it-all’s does not really help anybody.

The original Star Wars saga was about love and friendship; although many viewers did not want to understand that message. The prequels portrayed the Jedi as detached and arrogant and Anakin Skywalker sympathetically, a huge disappointment for who only accepts stories of the “lonesome cowboy” kind. The Last Jedi was so hated that The Rise of Skywalker backpedaled: sorry, of course you’re right, here you have your “hero who knows everything better and fixes everything for you on a silver platter”. The embarrassing antihero, who saves the girl who was the only person showing him some human compassion, can die miserably in the process and is not even mourned.

Honestly: I was doubtful whether it would be adequate to give Ben Solo a happy ending after the patricide. I guess letting him die was the easiest way out for the authors to escape censorship. (I even wrote this in a review on amazon about The Last Jedi, before I delved deeper into the saga’s themes.) The messages we got now are even worse.

Kylo Ren / Ben Solo

A parent can replace a child if they’re not the way they expect them to be. A victim of lifelong psychical and physical abuse can only find escape in death, whether he damns or redeems himself. An introspective, sensitive young man is a loser no matter how hard he tries either way. A whole family can sacrifice itself to save their heir, he dies anyway.

Rey

Self-righteousness is acceptable as long as you find a scapegoat for your own failings. Overconfidence justifies anything you do. You can’t carve your way as a female child of “nobodies”, you have to descend from someone male and powerful even if that someone is the devil incarnate. You are a “strong female” if you choose to be lonely; you need neither a partner nor friends.

In General

Star Wars is not about individual choices, loyalty, friendship and love, it is a classic Western story with a lonesome cowboy (in this case: cowgirl) at its centre. Satisfied? 

The father-son-relationship between Vader and Luke mirrors the Biblical story of Cain and Abel, saying that whoever we may want to kill is, in truth, our kin, which makes a clear separation in Good and Evil impossible. The “I am your father” scene is so infamous by now that even non-fans are aware of it; but this relationship between evil guy and good guy, as well as the plot turns where the villain saves the hero and that the hero discards his weapon are looked upon rather as weird narrative quirks instead of a moral. 

In  an action movie fan, things are simple: good guy vs. bad guy, the good guy (e.g. James Bond may be a murderer and a misogynist, but that’s ok because he’s cool about it) kills the bad guy, ka-boom, end of story. But Star Wars is a parable, an ambitious project told over decades of cinema, and a multilayered story with recurring themes.

A fairy tale ought to have a moral. The moral of both Original Trilogy and Prequel Trilogy was compassionate love - choose it and you can end a raging conflict, reject it and you will cause it. What was the moral of the Sequel Trilogy? You can be the offspring of the galaxy’s worst terror and display a similar attitude, but pose as a Jedi and kill unnecessarily, and it’s all right; descend from Darth Vader (who himself was a victim long before he became a culprit) and whether you try to become a Jedi trained by Luke Skywalker or a Sith trained by his worst enemy, you will end badly?

Both original and prequel trilogy often showed “good” people making bad choices and the “bad ones” making the right choices. To ensure lasting peace, no Force user ought to be believe that he must choose one side and then stick to it for the rest of his life: both sides need one another. The prequels took 3 films to convey this message, though not saying so openly. The Last Jedi said it out clearly - and the authors almost had their heads ripped off by affronted fans, resulting in The Rise of Skywalker’s fan service. It’s not like Luke, Han and Leia were less heroic in the Sequel Trilogy, on the contrary, they gave everything they had to their respective cause. They were not united, and they were more human than they had once been. Apparently, that’s an affront.

The Jedi are no perfect heroes and know-it-all’s and they never were, the facts are there for everyone to see. Padmé went alone and pregnant to get her husband out of Mustafar - and she almost succeeded - although she knew what he had done and that he was perfectly capable of it (he had told her of the Tusken village massacre himself) because she still saw the good little boy he had been in him; Obi-Wan left him amputated and burning in the lava, although he had raised Anakin like a small brother and the latter had repeatedly saved his life. But Padmé was not a Jedi, so I guess she still had some human decency. Neither Obi-Wan nor Yoda lifted a finger for the oppressed populations of the galaxy during the Empire, waiting instead for Anakin’s son to grow up so they could trick him into committing patricide. Neither Luke nor Leia did anything for their own son and nephew while he became the scourge of the galaxy, damning his soul by committing crime after crime. On Exegol, Rey heard the voices of all Jedi encouraging her to fight Palpatine to death. After that, they left her to die alone, and the alleged “bad guy”, who had already saved her soul from giving in to Palpatine’s lures, had to save her life by giving her his own. The Jedi merely know that “their side” has to win, no matter the cost for anyone’s life, sanity, integrity or happiness.

Excuse me, these are simple facts. How anyone can still believe that the Jedi were super-powerful heroes who always win or all-knowing wizards who are always right is beyond me. Luke, the last and strongest of them, like a bright flickering of light before the ultimate end, showed us that the best of men can fail. There is nothing wrong with that in itself. But it is wrong and utterly frustrating when all of the failure never leads to anything better. If Rey means to rebuild the Jedi order to something better than it was, there was no hint at that whatsoever.

  And What Now?

The Last Jedi hit theatres only 2 years before The Rise of Skywalker, and I can’t imagine that the responsible authors all have forgotten how to make competent work in the meantime; more so considering that Solo or The Mandalorian are solid work. Episode IX is thematically so painfully flat it seems like they wanted us to give up on the saga on purpose. The last instalment of a 42-year-old saga ought to have been the best and most meaningful. I had heard already decades ago that the saga was supposed to have 9 chapters, so I was not among who protested against the sequels thinking that they had been thought up to make what had come before invalid. I naively assumed a larger purpose. But Episode IX only seems to prove these critics perfectly right.

The last of the flesh and blood of the Chosen One is dead without having “finished what his grandfather started”?

Still no Balance in the Force?

And worst of all, Palpatine’s granddaughter taking over, having proven repeatedly that she is not suited for the task?

Sorry, this “ending” is absurd. I have read fanfiction that was better written and more interesting. And, most of all, less depressing. I was counting on a conclusion that showed that the Force has all colours and nuances, and that it’s not limited to the black-and-white view “we against them”. That’s the ending all of us fans would have deserved, instead of catering the daddy issues of the part of the audience who doesn’t want stories other than those of the “lonesome cowboy” kind. I myself grew up on Japanese anime, maybe that’s one of the reasons why I can’t stand guys like James Bond or Batman and why I think you don’t need “a great hero who fixes the situation” but that group spirit and communication are way more important.

It was absolutely unexpected that Disney, the production company whose trademark are happy endings and family stories, would end this beloved and successful saga after almost half a century on such a hollow note. Why tell first a beautiful fairy tale and then leave the audience on a hook for 35 years to continue first with a tragedy (which at least was expected) and then with another (unexpected one)? And this story is supposed to be for children? Like children would understand all of the subtext, and love sad, cautionary tales. Children, as well as the general audience, first of all want to be entertained! No one wants to watch the legendary Skywalker family be obliterated and a Palpatine take over. The sequels were no fun anymore; we’ve been left with another open ending and hardly an explanation about what happened in the 30 years in between. If you want to tell a cautionary tale, you should better warn the general audience beforehand.

The Original Trilogy is so good because it’s entertaining and offers room for thought for who wants to think about its deeper themes, and also leaves enough space for dreams. Same goes for the first two films of the Sequel Trilogy; but precisely the last, which should have wrapped up the saga, leaves us with a bitter aftertaste and dozens of questions marks. 

We as the audience believe that a story, despite the tragic things that happen, must go somewhere; we get invested into the characters, we root for them, we want to see them happy in the end. (The authors of series like Girls, How I Met Your Mother or Game of Thrones ought to be reminded of that, too.) I was in contact with children and teenagers saying that the Sequel Trilogy are “boring”; and many, children or adults, who were devastated by its concluson. There is a difference between wanting to tell a cautionary tale and playing the audience for fools. This trilogy could have become legendary like the Original Trilogy, had it fulfilled its promises instead of “keeping it low” with its last chapter. Who watches a family or fantasy story or a romantic / comedic sitcom wants to escape into another world, not to be hit over his head with a mirror to his own failings, and the ones of the society he’s living in. Messages are all right, but they ought not to go at the cost of the audience’s satisfaction about the about the people and narrative threads they have invested in for years.

This isn’t a family story: but children probably didn’t pester the studios with angry e-mails and twitter messages etc. They simply counted on a redemption arc and happy ending, and they were right, because they’re not as stupid as adults are. I have read and watched many a comment from fans who hate The Last Jedi. Many of these fans couldn’t even pinpoint what their rage was all about, they only proved to be stuck with the original trilogy and unwilling to widen their horizon. But at least their heroes had had their happy ending: The Rise of Skywalker obliterated the successes of all three generations of Skywalkers.

If the film studios wanted to tease us, they’ve excelled. If they expect the general audience to break their heads over the sequels’ metaphysics, they have not learned from the reactions to the prequels that most viewers take these films at face value. Not everybody is elbows-deep in the saga, or willing to research about it for months, and / or insightful enough to see the story’s connections. Which is why many viewers frown at the narrative and believe the Sequel Trilogy was just badly written. This trilogy could have become legendary like the Original Trilogy, had it fulfilled its promises instead of “keeping it low” with its last chapter. As it is now, the whole trilogy is hanging somewhere in the air, with neither a past nor a future to be tied in with.

The prequels already had the flaw of remaining too obscure: most fans are not aware that Anakin had unwillingly killed his wife during the terrible operation that turned him into Darth Vader, sucking her life out of her through the Force: most go by “she died of a broken heart”. So although one scene mirrors the other, it is not likely that most viewers will understand what Rey’s resurrection meant. And: Why did Darth Maul kill Qui-Gon Jinn? What did the Sith want revenge for? Who was behind Shmi’s abduction and torture? Who had placed the order for the production of the clones, and to what purpose? We can imagine or try to reconstruct the answers, but nothing is confirmed by the story itself.

The sequels remained even more in the dark, obfuscating what little explanation we got in The Rise of Skywalker with quick pacing and mind-numbing effects.

Kylo Ren had promised his grandfather that “he would finish what he started”: he did not. Whatever one can say of this last film, it did not bring Balance in the Force. What’s worse, the subject was not even breached. It was hinted at by the mosaic on the floor of the Prime Jedi Temple on Ahch-To, but although Luke and Rey were sitting on its border, they never seemed to see what was right under their noses. It remains inexplicable why it was there for everyone to see in the first place.

We might argue that Ben finished what his grandfather started by killing (or better, causing the death of) the last Jedi, who this one couldn’t kill because he was his own son; but leaving Rey in charge, he helped her finish what her grandfather had started. The irony could hardly be worse.

Episode IX looks like J.J. Abrams simply completed what they started with Episode VII, largely ignoring the next film as if it was always planned to do so. We, the angry and disappointed fans of The Last Jedi, may believe it was due to some of the general audience’s angry backlash, but honestly: the studios aren’t that dumb. They had to know that Episode VIII would be controversial and that many fans would hate it. The furious reactions were largely a disgrace, but no one can make me believe that they were totally unexpected. Nor can anyone convince me that The Rise of Skywalker was merely an answer to the small but very loud part of the audience who hated The Last Jedi: a company with the power and the returns of Disney Lucasfilm does not need to buckle down before some fan’s entitlement and narrowmindedness out of fear of losing money. And if they do, it was foolish to make Rey so perfect that she becomes almost odious, and to let the last of the Skywalker blood die a meaningless death. (Had he saved the Canto Bight children and left them with Rey, at least he would have died with honor; and she, the child left behind by her parents, would have had a task to dedicate herself to.)

The only reason I can find for this odd ending is that it’s meant to prepare the way for Rian Johnson’s new trilogy, which - hopefully - will finally be about Balance. We as the audience don’t know what’s going on behind the doors. Filmmaking is a business like any other, i.e. based on contracts; and I first heard that Rian Johnson had negotiated a trilogy of his own since before Episode VIII hit theatres. Maybe he kept all the rights of intellectual property to his own film, including that he would finish the threads he picked up and close the narrative circles he opened, and only he; and that his alleged working on “something completely different” is deliberately misleading.

Some viewers love the original trilogy, some love the prequels, some like both; but I hardly expect anyone to love the sequel trilogy as a whole. What with the first instalment “letting the past die, killing it if they had to”, the second hinting at a promising future and the third patched on at the very last like some sort of band-aid, it was not coherent. I heard the responsible team for Game of Thrones even dropped their work, producing a dissatisfying, quickly sewn together last season, for this new Star Wars project and thereby disappointing millions of GoT fans; I hope they are aware of the expectations they have loaded upon them. George Lucas’ original trilogy had its faults, but but though there was no social media yet in his time, at least he was still close enough to the audience to give them what they needed, if not necessarily wanted. (Some fans can’t accept that Luke and Leia are siblings to this day, even if honestly, it was the very best plot twist to finish their story in a satisfying way.)

I’m hoping for now that The Last Jedi was not some love bombing directed at the more sentimental viewers but a promise that will be fulfilled. “Wrapping up” a saga by keeping the flattest, least convincing chapter for last is bad form. Star Wars did not become a pop phenomenon by accident, but because the original story was convincing and satisfying. Endings like these will hardly make anyone remember a story fondly, on the contrary, the audience will move to another fandom to forget their disappointment.

On a side note, I like The Mandalorian, exactly for the reason that that is a magical story; not as much as the original trilogy, but at least a little. Of course, I’m glad it was produced. But it’s a small consolation prize after the mess that supposedly wrapped up the original saga after 9 films.

We’re Not Blind, You Know…

- Though Kylo Ren (Ben Solo) has Darth Vader’s stature, his facial features are practically opposite to Vader’s creepy mask. This should have foreshadowed that his life should have gone the other way, instead of more or less repeating itself. - As a villain Kylo was often unconvincing; by all logic he should have been a good father figure. (Besides, Star Wars films or series never work unless there is a strong father or father figure at their center.)

- Like Vader, Kylo Ren was redeemed, but not rehabilitated. Who knows who may find his broken mask somewhere now and, not knowing the truth, promise “I will finish what you started”. - The hand-touching scene on Ahch-To which was visually opposite to Anakin’s and Padmé’s should not have predicted another tragedy but a happy ending for them. - The Canto Bight sequence was announcing reckoning for the weapon industry and freedom for the enslaved children. It also showed how well Finn and Rose fit together. - Rey was a good girl before she started on her adventures. Like Anakin or Luke, she did not need to become a Jedi to be strong or generous or heroic. - Rey summons Palpatine after one year of training. Kylo practically begged for his grandfather’s assistance for years, to no avail. Her potential for darkness is obviously much stronger. - Dark Rey’s light sabre looked like a fork, Kylo’s like a cross. - The last time all Jedi and Sith were obliterated leaving only Luke in charge, things went awry. Now we have a Palpatine masquerading as a Skywalker and believing she’s a Jedi. Rey is a usurper and universally cheered after years of war, like her grandfather. - The broom boy of Canto Bight looked like he was sweeping a stage and announcing “Free the stage, it’s time for us, the children.”

Rey failed in all instances where Luke had proved himself (so much for feminism and her being a Mary Sue): - Luke had forgiven his father despite all the pain he had inflicted on him. She stabbed the „bad guy”, who had repeatedly protected and comforted her, to death. - Luke never asked Vader to help the Rebellion or to turn to the Light Side, he only wanted him back as his father. She assumed that you could make Ben Solo turn, give up the First Order and join the Resistance for her. She thought of her friends and of her own validation, not of him. - Luke had made peace by choosing peace. Rey fought until the bitter end. - Luke had thrown his weapon away before Palpatine. Rey picked up a second weapon. (And both of them weren’t even her own.) - Luke had mourned his dead father. Rey didn’t shed a tear for the man she is bonded to by the Force. - Luke went back to his friends to celebrate the new peace with them. Rey went back letting everyone celebrate her like the one who saved the galaxy on her own, she who were tempted to become the new evil ruler of the galaxy and had to rely on the alleged Bad Guy to save both her soul and her body. - Luke had embodied compassion when Palpatine was all about hatred. Where he chose love and faith in his father, she chose violence and fear. - Luke had briefly fallen prey to the Dark Side but it made him realize that he had no right to judge his father. Rey’s fall to the Dark Side did not make her wiser. - Rey has no change of mind on finding out that she’s Palpatine’s flesh and blood, nor after she has stabbed Kylo. Luke had to face himself on learning that he had almost become a patricide. Rey does not have to face herself: the revelation of her ancestry is cushioned by Luke’s and Leia’s support. Rey is and remains an uncompromising person who hardly learns from her faults.

This is cheating on the audience. And it's not due to feminism or Rey being some sort of “Mary Sue” the way many affronted fans claim. Kylo never was truly a villain, Rey is not a heroine, and this is not a happy ending. The Jedi, with their stuck-up conviction “only we must win”, have failed all over again. The Skywalker family was obliterated leaving their worst enemy in charge.  Rey is supposed to be a “modern” heroine which young girls can take as an example? No, thank you. Not after this last film has made of her. Padmé was a much better role model, combining intelligence with strength and goodness and also female grace. The world does not need entitled female brats.

Bonus: What Made The Rise of Skywalker a Farce

- The Force Awakens was an ok film and The Last Jedi (almost) a masterpiece. The Rise of Skywalker was a cartoon. No wonder a lot of the acting felt and looked wooden. - “I will earn your brother’s light sabre.” She’s holding his father’s sabre. - Kylo in The Last Jedi: “Let the past die. Kill it if, you have to.” Beginning with me? - Rey ends up on Tatooine. - The planet both Anakin and Luke ardently wanted to leave. - Luke had promised his nephew that he would be around for him. - Nope. - Rey had told Ben that she had seen his future. What future was that - “you will be a hero for ten minutes, get a kiss and then die? (And they didn’t even get a love theme.) - “The belonging you seek is not behind you, it is ahead.” On a desert planet with a few ghosts. What of the ocean she used to dream about? - Ben and Rey were both introduced as two intensely lonely people searching for belonging. We learn they are a Force dyad, and then they are torn apart again. - Why was Ben named for Obi-Wan Kenobi in the first place, if they have absolutely nothing in common? - The Throne Room battle scene in The Last Jedi was clearly showing that when they are in balance, Light Side and Dark Side are unbeatable. Why did the so-called “Light Side” have to win again, in The Rise of Skywalker, instead of finding balance? - Luke’s scene on Ahch-To was so ridiculously opposite to his attitude in The Last Jedi that by now I believe he was a fantasy conjectured by her. (Like Ben’s vision of his father.) - Anakin’s voice among the other Jedi’s. - He was a renegade, for Force’s sake. - The kiss between two females. - More fan service, to appease those who pretended that not making Poe and Finn a couple was a sign of homophobia. - We see the Knights of Ren, but we learn absolutely nothing about them or Kylo’s connection with them. - Rose Tico’s invalidation. - A shame after what the actress had gone through because for the fans she was “not Star-Wars-y” (chubby and lively instead of wiry and spitfire). - Finn’s and Rose’s relationship. - Ignored without any explanation. - Finn may or may not be Force-sensitive. - If he is: did he abandon the First Order not due to his own free will but because of some higher willpower? Great. - General Hux was simply obliterated. - In The Force Awakens he was an excellent foil to Kylo Ren; no background story, no humanization for him. - Chewie’s and 3PO’s faked deaths. - Useless additional drama. - The Force Awakens was a bow before the classic trilogy. The Rise of Skywalker kicked its remainders to pieces. - The Prequel Trilogy ended with hope, the Original Trilogy with love. The Sequel Trilogy ends on a blank slate. - “We are what they grow beyond.” The characters of the Sequel Trilogy did not grow beyond the heroes of the Original Trilogy. - The Jedi did not learn from their mistakes and were obliterated. The Skywalker family understood the mistakes they had made too late. Now they’re gone, too.

  P.S. While I was watching The Rise of Skywalker my husband came in asked me since when I like Marvel movies. I said “That’s not a Marvel movie, it’s Star Wars.” I guess that says enough.

P.P.S. For the next trilogy, please at least let the movies hit theatres in May again instead of December. a) It’s tradition for Star Wars films, b) Whatever happens, at least you won’t ruin anyone’s Christmases. Thank you.

[bruisedbell]

Hungry for the rush ( aching to be thrown in the ring ). 

 bio. || insp. || closet. || face. 

Character name: Katherine “Katie” Emery Bell

Age / Birthday: Beltane Babe—01 May, 1979.

Gender: cisfemale

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Katie is bisexual. She was taught to see the beauty of a person within as a child and has since applied that to all aspects of her life. She has no preference—instead she weighs on the depth and value of the person on the inside.

Occupation: Hit Witch within the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. ** ( I love that all hit-wizards have their own assigned beds at St. Mungo’s. How ridiculously appropriate for Katie. )

Affiliation: Katie exudes positivity and always stands up for what she believes is right, so it is really no surprise she considers herself a beacon for the light.

3 Positive Traits:

Adventurous. Daring. Makes up her own rules as she goes. She neither asks permission nor for forgiveness, unless caught red handed. Life is a game and there are no rules, only victories. Katie is competitive in nature and intends to seize as many victories as she can. Carpe rebus.

Kindhearted: Generous. She loves to give—not receive. Katie would give the shirt off her back to someone in need and never expect a favor in return. There is nothing she wouldn’t do for the people she loves. She would travel to the depths of the earth if asked of her.

Resilient: Tough as nails. Like titanium, she does not break easily. She rolls with the punches and rides on waves of fury. Katie is mentally very strong. Quidditch has vastly helped her develop this fortitude. She is a lover above all else, but there is no denying the fighter that reels inside her. It goes hand in hand with her desire to always be winning, or achieving success in any way she can.

3 Negative Traits:

Distracted. Head in the clouds. Plucking shapes and painting stars the way she thinks they should twinkle. Dream on little dreamer, unmoved by the falling reality and fragility that comes from this life. Katie is detached and a bit impersonal at times, especially when she has no skin in the game. It’s hard to hide the vacant look in her eyes when her mind has journeyed into a far world of its own.

Overzealous: Dangerous enthusiasm. Questionable optimism. Lethal tools in the wrong hands. Katie often needs to be reminded to slow down her pace and release her death grip so they don’t become just that when in her possession. Her heart is usually in the right place, but she has the tendency to get in way over her depth without realizing it. Her high energy can be all-consuming and, if she isn’t careful, may drowned whoever gets in her path. It also doesn’t hurt to mention that too much positivity can be toxic, and Katie certainly teeters between dangerous boundaries.

Detached: Katie frequently finds herself separated from reality like she is just a fly on the wall, or a stranger peering through someone else’s eyes. Reality can be a tricky concept to grasp at times. She finds it easier to throw herself into perilous situations with that made-up wall built between her and whatever unknown obstacle the day holds. Originally a coping mechanism she established to help aid with the daily traumas of working in the DMLE, it has since become an increasingly alarming problem slowly tainting other aspects of her life too.

Headcanons.

Katie is often underestimated by those around her. Many say she is too soft; teased and called a princess by others. Her kindness is usually misinterpreted as weakness, but she weaponizes this misjudgment turning it into one of her greatest assets. She isn’t mad at anyone for calling her a princess because they aren’t necessarily wrong; her crown is simply set with daggers and claws versus jewels, and she intends to have it on display for all to see.

Olivia Bell nee Fraiser, Katie’s mum, is muggle-born witch. She married a muggle man named Rhys Bell shortly after graduating. She then began her career at HM Treasury just like her father did before her. HM Treasury is the UK Government’s economical and financial ministry maintaining control over public spending, budgeting, and other fiscal aspects. Public service has always played a vital role in Olivia’s life, and subsequently Katie’s life as well. She witnessed how important it was to her mother and eventually was inspired to lead into her own career within the Ministry of Magic for this exact reason.

Katie is an expert dueler. This is illustrated in Prisoner of Azkaban when she teaches Harry Potter the full body-bind curse (switching that to Neville feels very applicable in this setting though? ). She was in the dueling club for the majority of her Hogwarts career, which is where she first established a solid foundation to nurture her skills. She later joined Dumbledore’s Army during her sixth year when Umbridge briefly reigned over Hogwarts. Having an older brother who loved to torment her as a child also helped play a key role. Once they were at Hogwarts together, there was no stopping her from getting retribution. In fact, she started making an abundance of friends which came with unexpected connections in the form of unique pranks and other jokes to help further her crafty and scheming nature.

Katie is currently working on her ability to cast both wordless and wandless magic. She favors wordless magic. It comes much more natural and is far easier than wandless magic in her opinion, however, both are thoroughly trained and implemented throughout a hit-wix’s career as it aids in the secrecy of capturing their suspects. She is also currently studying occlumency and legillimency with her mentor and fellow hit-wix.

Katie is an expert baker. Strudels. Pies. Puddings. Cakes. Croissants. Macaroons. Alfajores. You name it, she can whip it up in a heartbeat. Baking is her comfort. The alluring aromas of brown sugar and vanilla wafting across her kitchen remind her of a quaint and happy childhood. Present-day, she consumes an irrational amount of sweets, but nothing in comparison to the heaps she has to throw away at the end of the week due to the fact that she simply cannot eat them all. She makes cute little burlap wrapped packages tied with colorful ribbons, which her senile owl Blazer delivers to all her friends… but there still always manages to be more dessert left on the countertop.

Katie is quick, not just on her feet but a broomstick as well. She is known for making fast getaways. A skill she takes great pride in.

The looming war and undeniable political tensions have been anything but pleasant for Katie, and the entire Bell family. Bellatrix Lestrange’s rise to political power was alarming from the beginning for the lot. Katie’s mum maintained a position within the muggle division of government. The muggle-born witch immediately feared for a worst case scenario for someone like herself, or her muggle husband and two half-blood children. One needn’t be overly creative to fill in those lines. Katie had held a position within the DMLE ever since graduating from Hogwarts. Her older brother worked with various quidditch teams across Europe. It’s in a mother’s nature to worry, but perhaps she had more reason and experience in doing so when all their lives were so intricately designed with such chaos. 

Plot ideas: Same plot ideas from the previous group. I want Katie to be confronted with unlikely challenges. I want to see her get involved with those she wouldn’t normally do so. She is everything radiant and positive, so her leaning toward the Order is too obvious in my opinion. I want to see her manipulated and forced into doing things she would have never thought only because there is the risk of losing something greater. Katie would do anything to protect her family and friends. Especially Fred. She has a savior complex. It goes hand-in-hand with her desire to fix people and things, even if a good handful of them turn out to be unfixable. I want to see the closest of friends push each other away and have incomprehensible falling outs because of the unspeakable circumstances and lingering tensions they’re affected by. War changes people and I am anxious to see how it sinks its claws into the vibrant and kindhearted girl we all know—and how maybe just perhaps it transforms her into someone entirely unrecognizable.

Bonus Material: Gryffindor quidditch power team dynamic, angsty!angst, darker threads with purpose and tangibility, lighthearted threads, friends comforting friends, rogue punches, and other comedic content.

[chaotic-good-hawke]

About the Muse Meme

Tagged by the wonderful @bisexualryder​! Thank you, deary! 

― your muse’s name: 

Damita Mavis Surana

― one favorite picture / faceclaim of your muse:

Picture is by @star--nymph and Damita’s face claim is Ashley Moore

― two headcanons you have for your muse:

1. Her Magic: Precise, measured, cautious. Her motions and castings are flawless, practiced over and over again, any instructions memorized by heart. She knows magic can be dangerous, but she has never feared it. She just learns to control it, to bend it to her quiet will. A natural healer, she studies medicine at the Circle. While travelling for the Blight, she is fascinated by Morrigan’s abilities, something out of fairytales. In time she learns to shift and change, her first form a songbird. It is after the Archdemon is defeated, at Amaranthine, when she uncovers a text outlining blood magic rites. She studies and experiments, wanting to understand completely, and hoping that the cure for the Taint lies between healing and blood magic. 

2. Her time at Kinloch Circle: Damita was taken to the Circle when she was 4 years old. Her memories of her family are distant, fuzzy, but filled with hope and longing. She dreams of reuniting with them. Those first years, she clung to her fellow apprentices Jowan, Asher Amell, and Felicia and trailed after the robes of older apprentices and mages like Anders and Karl. At the age of 8, she discovered her love of learning and the power that come with new knowledge. She would spent hours upon hours in the library and when she was older, in the labs, testing new theories. Shy by nature, she was sweet, but curious. She was never targeted by the templars, not in any true way, besides the general templarness. But her friends were. So, she learned to be subtle with her magic, to use it to retaliate against those who hurt her friends, never acting rashly, but punishing them all the same. They never suspected her. Not even after she helped Anders escape. She had built her image of the good little obedient mage very well. 

― three things that your muse likes doing in their free time:

Research: Damita loves reading and learning, whether ancient stories or scientific texts. There is power and freedom in knowledge, safety and hope. She journals everything, her experiences, experiments, observations. Anything that might be useful/that she needs to remember. Zevran takes her to Antiva and gets her access to some of the royal libraries. Leliana gets her access to Chantry holdings. She is hungry for answers to her questions and will lose hours or days in her research. She needs someone to remind her to eat and sleep. Leliana has found her more than once asleep at her desk or over a book. 

Playing the Lute: Towards the end of the Blight, Leliana picks up a lute and after seeing Damita’s interest in it, teaches her to play. After that, Damita always carries one with her. When she is separated from her love, she would play, letting the music ease her loneliness and quiet her thoughts. Leliana sometimes calls her her little songbird.  

Practicing Magic: Damita never stops practicing, never wanting to lose her skill. Perhaps it is partially fueled by lingering fears, but she never takes for granted that magic needs to be controlled. She does have fun with it, at times, using it to entertain her friends. But she lives by the motto that practice makes perfect. To the point that Leliana has woken up to Damita mumbling and sleep casting. Damita cringes at the time Leliana woke her up, because their room was covered in flowers. 

― seven people your muse loves/likes:

1. Leliana: She loves Leliana fiercely and openly. It is new for her, something she didn’t even know to hope for. The love she shares with Leli is not like anything she had witnessed before in the Circle. Their relationship builds slowly, Damita taken with the worldliness of Leliana, the trials she has been through, her faith, and Leliana is taken with Damita’s goodness, her quick nature, her inquiring mind. They share music, have long discussions into the night. They are married a few years after the Blight, in a small private ceremony. 

2. Zevran: Damita loves Zev like a brother. Like an annoying, teasing brother. He feels the same, finding family with her that he hadn’t allowed himself to have before. He gives her the nickname Dami. He (attempts) to teach her to flirt. He teaches her about poisons, she teaches him healing potions. They swap stories. She does not judge him for his past, but helps him see a better future, a future of his choosing. He helps her understand the world outside the circle, that she doesn’t have to fear. She is his best friend and he is hers. 

3. Morrigan: Damita and Morrigan are weary of each other at first, unsure of where they stand with each other. But, they find footing with each other, after Damita heals Morrigan from a minor wound, without a word, just doing it reflexively. Damita in turn is fascinated by Morrigan’s knowledge, her skill, her wilder magic. Once they actually start talking and sharing, a bond is struck and while they do not always agree, they are friends, sisters. 

4. Wynne: Wynne is a surrogate mother in many ways for Damita during the Blight. She is older, wiser, she has known the life that is the circle. She loves the older mage. But, she does outgrow her. It starts when Wynne cautions her against pursuing a relationship with Leli. Wynne sees hope for the circles, is fine to live her life with them, even after what they did. Damita learns that there is more, that there is a better way and she cannot and will not go back to the circle. When she hears of Wynne’s death, she mourns an old friend.  

5. Alistair: Damita relies on Alistair, trusts him. He is the warden, was the warden, in her eyes. She treasures their friendship. He makes her laugh and she treats him as an equal, valuing his thoughts and opinions. In another life, they might have been more than friends. Damita hates that she helps trap him in a role he doesn’t want. But, she doesn’t trust Anora to be kind to the elves, to the mages. Damita knows Alistair will and that he will try to help the Ferelden people. She makes it a point to visit him whenever she can, trying to ease the burden thrust onto him.   

6. Sir Barkington: Damita loves her mabari, okay? He is loyal, protective, and yes sometimes smells bad, but just look at his face! She travels with him always, guarding her back. When they are in the city, she has a bow tie for him to wear. He looks very noble in it. 

7. Anders: She has strong feelings about many of her friends from the Circle, but Anders is also her fellow warden. She conscripted him to save him. He was one that tucked her in at night when she had a nightmare. He taught her little tricks to make her laugh. He is like an older brother to her. When she searches for the cure, she tracks him down to go with her.  

(Not mentioned Cathal Tabris, Catheryne Cousland, and Ciembe Mahariel from the multi-warden AU, but she does love them as well - or her two daughters, Beata and Delphine, who are adopted after the exalted council.) 

― a phobia your muse has:

Tranquility: Damita is terrified of being made tranquil. The monotone voice, the emotionless responses, the loss of will and agency, the loss of connection with magic and the fade. Needless to say, when Leliana reports back about what happened in Kirkwall, the needless tranquil, the lives ruined, she was heartbroken (let’s not even get into Karl) and angry.   

I will tag: @ocean-in-my-rebel-soul, @gay-dragon-age, @cutieink, @free-the-mages, @red-wardens, @saltlordofold, @slightly-sad-scribe, @trvelyans, @musically-magic, @dickeybbqpit, @loveydoveypiperwright and anyone else who wants to! No pressure! 

[uncle1milty]

Being conscious

Illusion

Mystics talk at length about the illusory nature of this world and our existence in it. They use a variety of graphic words to describe it: dream, falsehood, shadow, sham, illusion, unreality, mirage. What do they mean when they describe our life and our world this way? Isn’t my body real? My house? My wife and children? Mountains and oceans?

Let’s look at the many ways in which the mystics tell us that everything we see, touch, and value so highly is, from their perspective, illusory.

The world is illusory because it’s impermanent

Someone once asked Hazur Maharaj Charan Singh:

Q: We are told that this whole business is a dream. Would you comment on that; what you mean by that? Master: Well, it is a dream in the sense that there’s no reality in this body – and so the dream consists of 50, 60, 70, 80 years. Where are our forefathers, where are they now? Haven’t they quit the stage? It was just like a dream; they came and went away. They don’t exist anymore; they don’t exist permanently. Anything which doesn’t exist permanently is just like a dream.1

That was always Hazur’s primary way of defining what made this body and our existence like a dream – that it was impermanent. He would say that, in contrast, reality or truth was permanent and unchanging. So this world and our life in it were obviously not real, because they’re so short-lived and changeable.

He continued:

Our past relationships, the role which we played in the last life as a husband, as a wife, as a child, as a friend, isn’t that a dream to us? Where are they? We’ve forgotten everyone. It was just like a dream. So this will also become a dream after we leave this body. There’s no reality. Saints say there’s no reality to that which you are attaching so much importance. A real thing always exists – it doesn’t perish, it is stable.

Then he said: “We’re all in a dreamland. We have to be awakened from this dream and find the reality, and when you are with the reality then you will know that you have got to get up from this dream – not before that.”

What does he mean by “when you are with the reality”? Perhaps he means in the Master’s presence, where the influence of the Guru changes our perception enough so that we can see this world more clearly? Or when we are able, in our meditation, to bring the attention higher and begin to escape from the world of duality? He says we only really understand that we have to awaken from the dream when we’ve at least temporarily escaped its influence.

Finally he concluded: “Mystics want to explain to us not to give so much importance to all these things because they’re not going to last. They’re going to leave you.”

The ego’s belief in its separate existence is an illusion Another key source of the illusion we live in is the essential error in how we see ourselves. At the deepest level, each of us thinks, “I am me and I am separate from everyone else and separate from God.” That is the ego speaking, a part of our mind that is responsible for creating an imaginary barrier between our soul and the Father.

Guru Nanak Sahib describes, from a very high perspective – one that is outside time and above this physical plane – how we cycle through life after life, caught in the delusion created by the ego. That delusion or illusion, though not real, still has the effect of binding us to this world. He said:

Each one from ego takes his birth, And clad in ego dies; And comes and goes, Gives and receives, and earns and spends, And deals in lies or speaks the truth, In ego all the while. 2

“In ego all the while”: Everything, everything we do, he says, is tainted by ego, that sense of being a separate self. But despite this powerful illusion and its repercussions, “we are in fact not separate from the Lord and never have been. But our mind and ego convince us that we are, and we have to escape that illusion before we can surrender our being into His.” 3

Maya draws its power from our unfulfilled longing for the Lord

For reasons we cannot understand, the Lord sent us out from his kingdom ages ago, into this strange existence we find ourselves in. We were given bodies and minds, and the ego developed. But underneath all those coverings, we have always carried deeply embedded memories of him. The mystics tell us that every desire, every need we feel is an expression of our native hunger for God, that yearning to end our separation and return to him. But our mind corrupts that pure longing and tries to satisfy it with impermanent and petty things.

Hazrat Inayat Khan says:

[A man’s] mind, his reason, always puts forward some other cause for his unhappiness rather than the real one, in order that he may be kept in illusion all his life, in order that all his life he should run after things which are not the real aim of his soul….And if the whole universe were given to him, his heart would not be satisfied, because the demand of his soul still has not been understood.3

And according to Idries Shah:

People, Rumi teaches, do not really know what they want. Their inner yearning is expressed in a hundred desires, which they think are their needs. These are not their real desires, as experience shows. For when these objectives are attained, the yearning is not stilled.4

So maya, in a sense, perverts our natural yearning for the Lord into lust, greed, gluttony and whatnot. The desires of the mind are all based on a false premise – that if we satisfy them, the craving will stop. But of course the mind is never satisfied, because it doesn’t get what it really misses. And the desires are almost irresistible. A disciple needs to beware of them his or her whole life.

The body is illusory Let’s look next at another seemingly solid pillar of reality – our body. The mystics see it as utterly ephemeral, nothing but a dream, and they encourage us to realize how short-lived it is and to prepare for its end.

The mystic-poet Eknath says, “Your body is the shadow of a cloud, the water of a mirage – passing, unreal.”5 And then:

The body goes in a moment,   but we don’t believe it. A ripple on water – this is the world. A mirage of water is not water,   the shadow of a cloud gives no rain. A statue of salt dissolves in water –   this body is dying while you look at it,   says Eknath.6

And yet we don’t believe we’re going to die. There’s a story about a minister who began a sermon on death by saying, “Everyone in this congregation is going to die.” As he scanned the audience to see the effect of his words, he noticed a man in the front with a big smile on his face. He asked the man, “Why are you smiling, given what I’ve just said?” The man replied, “I’m not from this congregation!”

We use any excuse to fool ourselves!

Saints see the entire arc of a body’s existence, from embryo to corpse, as the briefest flash. They also see the whole range of our past incarnations, all the many bodies we have inhabited. So how can they take this particular body seriously? They warn us to look higher and not get caught in the body’s dream.

Although the body is a dream, it is a magical gift Although the physical body can indeed be a trap and is an illusion, it also carries within it the secrets and power of the Shabd, the divine energy that permeates the universe, which transcends all illusion and is the ultimate truth, the ultimate reality. In a way, the body is a sort of Trojan horse. Kal, the negative power, created this creation so cunningly that every aspect of a human being is surrounded by maya, so the poor human is trapped. But the Lord hid himself within the human body in the form of Shabd, and is there to sustain the soul and, when a Master appears, awaken the soul and help it escape.

Hazur once said, “Sister, it is better to treat this whole life just as a dream and during the dream try to find out the reality which is within every one of us.”7

So during the dream, we need to discover the ultimate reality inside ourselves. The saint Bahinabai says:

Only within this dream of a body   can you awaken to Truth and rest in the One.… If you walk the way of a teacher of Truth,   you’ll reach the Real through the unreal.8

She’s saying that to reach the real (the Shabd, the Lord) we have to use the unreal (this body), and, of course, we have to have a Master. And the Master contains that same dichotomy – his Shabd form is real, but his physical form is unreal, is maya, as he has been saying. So again, we reach the real through the unreal.

Another mystic speaks on the enormous value of this strange lump of flesh we inhabit:

What a treasure has been placed in your hand! Unlucky souls turn this treasure to dust –   this body that holds the essence of all goodness,   this body that holds a library of scriptures,   this body that breathes true holiness into holy places. Kanhoba says, Nothing can compare   with being born human.9

So in this amazing device, this pot of filth and temple of divine love, we have to find the real while immersed in the unreal.

Are we wake or asleep? A story goes like this:

A disciple met with his Master to discuss the nature of liberation and to ask about the position adopted by those who attain it. The disciple asked: “Master, how is it possible that a liberated human being can remain at peace when faced with the tragedies suffered by humanity?” The Master said, “Imagine you are sleeping and that you dream that you are in a boat with a lot of other passengers. Suddenly the boat hits a rock and starts to sink. In your distress, you wake up. Would you go back to sleep in order to warn the other passengers that the boat is sinking?10

Now, this is not to say that masters aren’t compassionate. They are supremely tender-hearted and feel for the suffering that beings undergo in this world. But they have a higher perspective, which helps to answer the common question, “How could a loving God create a world that contains so much suffering?” They say that human beings are, in effect, dreaming their existence and their suffering. As Baba Ji has told us, only the Shabd is real; everything else is illusion.

Mystics say that the problem isn’t with the creation, but with our perception of it. Hazur once said that the creation looks perfect to the perfect one. The bottom line is that the masters are trying to wake us up from the dream so we can share their higher perception.

Science’s argument against the illusion of this physical world Let’s consider our situation from the perspective of a modern physicist. It turns out that physicists also argue that we are living in an illusion.

They say that each of us is made up of about 50 trillion cells. Each of those cells contains 20 trillion atoms. Each atom, when looked at closely, consists of a lot of sub-atomic particles, but each sub-atomic particle, if looked at closely, consists of nothing but energy. So, we are in effect, nothing but energy. What we see when we look at ourselves or at another person or object is just an energy field, an illusion of solidity that is in fact almost entirely empty space, with just a certain amount of energy creating the illusion of substance. 11

For example, if you expanded an atom to the space taken up by a football stadium, the nucleus would be the size of a marble sitting in the middle of the field, and the much smaller electrons would be whizzing around at the outer reaches of the stadium. Everything else would be just empty space. Not much there! But very convincing to our senses.

Hazur Maharaj Ji once had the following interchange with a disciple:

Q: Is this world really here or is it a dream world? Master: This world is perishable. You will not be able to stay with this world forever. This world is perishable.

Q: Does it really exist? Master: It exists in a manner of speaking. When you are in a dream, everything looks real to you. When you wake up from a dream, then only you realize that there was actually no reality at all. It was just a dream. While being in this world, we think it is absolutely real. When we leave this world, then we know it was just a dream.

Q: Are we in the world or aren’t we? Master: At this time we are dreaming! When we wake up from this dream, then we will know that this world is perishable. 12

So that’s a good transition from talking about all the different forms of illusion to asking why it matters and what we do about it.

Why do the mystics emphasize the illusory nature of this world, this body, this life? Essentially, they are trying to wake us up, to shake us out of this trance induced by maya, in which we’re completely seduced by the world – its pleasures; its promises of wealth, power, and fame; and its horrors, which fascinate us so intensely that we can’t take our eyes off them. The saints keep telling us not to get sucked into the show of this world: it’s only a very compelling reality show, but it’s not Reality. Turn your attention, they say, away from the reality show to not Reality. That’s why Baba Ji has told us to be serious about our meditation but not take life too seriously.

But we don’t want to wake up; we’re absolutely glued to the screen of life and can’t tear our attention away. And we’re so dead asleep that we don’t even realize it most of the time.

Fortunately, our master is not content to let us sleep. He will wake us up. And that’s the single most important lesson from this discussion – that we will never wake up from the dream, we will never see through these myriad layers of illusion, without the assistance of a living master, someone who is awake, someone who exists outside the fog of illusion.

In her book The Case for God, Karen Armstrong, a writer and former Roman Catholic nun, retold this famous story:

One day a Brahmin priest came across the Buddha sitting in contemplation under a tree and was astonished by his serenity, stillness, and self-discipline. “Are you a god, sir?” the priest asked. “Are you an angel … or a spirit?” No, the Buddha replied. He explained that he had simply revealed a new potential in human nature. It was possible to live in this world of conflict and pain at peace and in harmony with one’s fellow creatures. “Remember me,” the Buddha told the curious priest, “as one who is awake.” 13

So our master is constantly shaking us in various ways, to try to get us to open our eyes and wake up from this dream, this illusion. And he urges us, prods us, tries desperately to persuade us to do our meditation with all the intensity, love, and commitment that we can muster, as that’s the only path to awakening to Reality.

And what is that Reality? The Shabd or divine power or Name. The Shabd or Name is God in action, and it takes physical form as our master. The Shabd or Name is the power that will save us from this world.

As the mystic Narhari taught:

A painter strokes his brush on a wall –   this is the world, nothing real here. Children build houses of sand,   then knock them down and go home. Everyone does their work here –   they love it as their own so they take it to be true. If you really want to achieve something real,   just repeat the Name, says Narhari, and stay close to the mystics.14

Illusion - RSSB Satsangs & Essays

Mystics talk at length about the illusory nature of this world and our existence in it. They use a variety of gr...

Maharaj Charan Singh, Spiritual Perspectives, Vol. I, #39

Quoted in Divine Light, 7th ed., p.32-33

RS Greetings, Autumn 2001, p.9

Idries Shah, The Sufis, p.140

Many Voices, One Song, p.260

Ibid., p.208

Maharaj Charan Singh, Tape of 2 December, 1988, Question 10

Many Voices, One Song, p.147

Ibid., p.143

Quoted in Spiritual Link, March 2009, pp.24-25; from 101 Cuentos Clasicos de la India, comp. Ramiro Calle,

Much of this was drawn from a 2011 TED talk by Jeff Lieberman on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0--_R6xThs

Spiritual Perspectives, Vol. I, #18

Karen Armstrong, The Case for God, p.330

Many Voices, One Song, p.166

[avatarxfrozen-blog]

Bar Fight Sequel-Council Meeting

Here’s a little sequel to Bar Fight. This time, protective big sis Elsa takes over. After thinking it over, I thought it could go over two ways: one, Elsa blows up and murders them vocally. Two, she is patient (but no less furious) and waits to strike in a way that is less likely to make her powers erupt, but still gets her point across. Since it happens during a royal event with a lot of people she can’t afford to frighten and ruin relationships between countries, she goes with the latter.

Also contains a ridiculous amount of sisterly fluff and love.

Elsa sighed wearily as she moved to the shadows to begin her journey to find chocolate. She despised balls. She was sick of fake smiles and false compliments, of pretending she actually enjoyed these people's company. Not all of them were bad, of course, but some...well, she'd had to pull out 'conceal, don't feel' a few times, and not really for her magic. But it was in celebration of Arendelle's alliances. Tomorrow, she would sign treaties, then everyone would finally leave.

She was almost to her destination when she heard two of the diplomats in quiet conversation. She payed it no mind, until she heard her sister's name. "...such a waste, courting a commoner."

"I heard he has a thing for his reindeer."

"I heard that, too. But Queen Elsa should arrange a marriage to a prince to strengthen alliances, not let her trail after him—"

She grit her teeth; she was tempted to intervene in Kristoff's defense, but pushed back the urge. She couldn't afford to lose control.

 But just as she was leaving, she heard the end of his sentence. "—like a common whore."

She gasped softly and ice spread around her. It developed a yellow tint as she clenched her hands into fists. As if listening to them say that much wasn't enough, the other man continued. "And she's a bit of a...ditz, as well. Have you seen her dance? Maybe it's better she doesn't marry into another kingdom, she would taint Arendelle's-and Queen Elsa's-reputation."

He nodded in agreement. "Indeed. It seems Prince Hans had good reason for ditching her, even if his later actions were questionable."

"Obviously, she didn't learn her lesson. Perhaps someone needs to teach her another."

A wide arrangement of insults in many languages sat on the tip of her tongue, and she nearly whirled to face them. But then logic snuck in. It would damage Arendelle's reputation and perhaps ruin the new relationships they'd forget if she unleashed her wrath now. A new plan hatched in her mind, a way to make an example of them without causing destruction.

Tomorrow, at the final meeting, she would strike.

She took a deep breath and forced herself to leave before she changed her mind and unleashed her wrath . As she was walking away, she heard one of the men mutter, "Did someone open a window?"

Later that night, Elsa was extra affectionate as they prepared for bed. Before they separated, Elsa embraced her in a tight hug. 'Don't worry, Anna. They won't get away this.'

"Elsa?"

She leaned back to look at her sister. "Yes, love?"

"Are you okay?"

She stroked her cheek. "I'm fine."

Even as Anna leaned into her touch, she commented. "You're so...cuddly."

She pulled her hand back. "If you don't like it-"

"No!" Anna yelped frantically, taking her hand and yanking her to her. She clung to her, holding her so tight she couldn't breathe. "No! I love it, really! I just wanted to make sure nothing was wrong."

She didn't want to lie to her, but she just couldn't tell her. 'She can't know what they said about her.'

Now, not many people new this (everyone really did), but Elsa had a dramatic flair, put the queen in 'drama queen', as Anna would say. So, the next morning, Elsa decided to go all 'Snow Queen' on them. She wore her ice dress and even went to the council room early to add some icy touches. She even moved her chair so she could conjure her own. 

When she entered the room, calm, collected, icy mask in place, she felt satisfaction when her two victims watched with a tinge of fear as she made an icy throne. She made eye contact with each of them for a brief moment, just to further intimidate.

Before they even began the process of signing treaties, Elsa took the floor. She walked slowly, deliberately around the table, like a wolf may stalk its prey. But she casually held her hands behind her back. "Before we begin, I would like to make something very clear. I like to think I'm not a particularly demanding monarch. I have made mistakes, and I will fault no one for having doubts about me. But there is one thing I will not tolerate." She paused behind the two men. "Any slandering of Princess Anna in such a way it tarnishes her reputation will not be tolerated. Princess Anna is a hero of Arendelle and, should I not marry and have children, heir to the throne. And even the mere suggestion of 'teaching her a lesson'-" The men in front of her stiffened, "-will be viewed as a threat." She walked back to the head of the table and finally faced the two nobles, glaring coldly. "If I hear any more of such language, I will cease trade and find another partner who will have more respect." The men began to sweat, even as the temperature dropped. They knew that she knew. Her eyes then wandered to the rest. "Do I make myself clear?"

A chorus of "Yes, Your Majesty" filled the room. Satisfied she had put a healthy amount of fear into the two men, she moved on.

"Now, let's begin."

Later that night, Anna found her in the study. "So," she said casually, wandering to her side. "Is there anything you'd like to tell me?"

'Uh-oh.' "Nothing of importance."

"Really?"

"Nope." She didn't look up from her desk.

"How was the council meeting?"

"Good."

"Anything interesting?"

"...not really."

Anna walked behind her and put her hands on her shoulders. "Then can you explain something to me?"

"I'll do my best."

"Why was everyone looking at me all scared when they were leaving?"

A pause. "I don't know."

Anna sighed. "Elsa." She moved around so she was looking at her. "What's going on? Were you talking about me? And don't lie!"

Elsa sighed and slouched. "Yes, we were talking about you."

"W-why?" Elsa looked up to find her looking confused and a bit hurt. And that hurt her. She reached out and held her hand.

"I may have threatened some people on your behalf."

Anna gaped in surprise. "Wait, what? Why?"

Elsa looked down. "They said some...terrible things about you."

"Like what?"

"I'd really rather not say."

"Elsaaa," she whined.

"Anna, please," she begged. She couldn't stand to see the hurt on her beloved little sister's face.

"Come on, just tell me," Anna pouted at her. Elsa sighed.

"Alright, fine. They insulted you and Kristoff, and said some horrible things about you."

She looked a little wounded, but she hadn't heard the worst of it. "Is that all? That's not a good reason to loose your head."

"Hey, you're the one who put a man in the hospital."

"He deserved it!"

"So did they! Yes, they said some other things, but please, don't make me repeat them. I can't stand to see you upset." She brought her hand to her lips and kissed the back. 

"...it was about Hans, wasn't it?"

Elsa stared in shock. "Wha-how did you know?"

She smiled sadly. "Lucky guess."

"Yes," Elsa said in defeat. "It was about Hans. That, and they gave what I count as a threat. And I wasn't going to stand for it."

"What did you do?" she asked curiously.

"I 'went all Snow Queen on them', as you like to say, and I threatened to end trade if they ever insulted or threatened you like that again."

Anna just stared at her. Elsa tensed, waiting for her response, but yelped in shock when Anna threw herself onto her lap and embraced her, nearly knocking her to the floor. She nuzzled her cheek before kissing it multiple times and burrowing into her neck. "Thank you, Elsa," she whispered. 

Elsa got over her shock and returned her hug fully. "You're very welcome, sweetheart."

Anna grinned widely at the term of endearment and snuggled closer. "I can't believe you did that for me!"

Elsa frowned and pushed her back. "I would do anything for you. You know that, right?"

She smiled gently. "I know. It's just, I've dreamed of this for so long."

"Of what?"

"Of my hero, coming out of her room to save the day."

Elsa sucked in a deep breath, eyes stinging. She used to be so good at handling her emotions, but Anna...she seemed to be the only one able to penetrate her walls. Or doors. She rubbed her shoulder. "I'm no hero, but I won't let them hurt you. For too long I stood by. Never again."

To her surprise, Anna scowled and poked her chest. "Stop being so hard on yourself! You are my hero, Elsa. You always have been, even if I couldn't see you." She nuzzled her again. "Even though there were times it felt hopeless, part of me knew that someday, you'd find me again."

Elsa could only smile and embrace her. She did not deserve her, not in the slightest. The sun to her moon, the summer to her winter. Her true love (in a sisterly way, of course), her hero. Her heart.

[pestopascal]

hawke and the last 3 1-5

for sassssssskiaaaaaaa! my gurl who I've had since day one (if only her name changed once). and u said last three but carver kinda died sooo i did anders instead bc his name was above sebastians

questions from here

Anders.

1. How did your Hawke feel about Anders’ clinic? Did they ever spend time there?

Saskia liked the idea of it, despite how it seemed kind of a permanent thing. Like, sure, Kirkwall was supposed to be a permanent move for her family because her mother was so insistent on reclaiming some greatness attested to her family but like. It was definitely a permanent idea in Anders’ head (which she wouldn’t get until much later). Yeah, she spent time there early on, definitely before being a Champion. And before things got... weird. Just used to sit in a corner and stare out over the harbour while Anders worked, sometimes played at being bedside nurse. Whatever.

2. What did your Hawke think about Justice/Vengeance possessing Anders? Were they unsettled?

Yeah, she wasn’t too fond of the whole sharing a body thing anyway, because she may not have been a mage but her father taught her a thing or two about spirits and stuff. And watching Anders just get worse as the years went by... unsettled is the lightest thing they were feeling.

3. What was your Hawke’s relationship with Anders like before the Chantry explosion? How did the explosion change their perception of him?

They were friendly. A lot of things they agreed to disagree on but there wasn’t any bad blood between them. Sure, harping on about left out of each other’s business, and at one point Saskia would say they were close close (not romantically, ofc, she didn’t go there), and then things got weird. And then the chantry exploded and Saskia didn’t know if she was just so blind to what Anders himself was capable of or what lengths he would go to but betrayal was what she felt.

4. Who did your Hawke back, mages or templars, and what became of Anders?

She backed the mages, out of loyalty to Bethany, out of what she had seen in the Gallows, and out of memory of her father. Also, knowing her family largely steeped in magic blood helped there. He lived, if only so he could live with the consequences. Where he is now only she and a handful of other people know. Namely her cousin. Rip him.

5. Did your Hawke believe Anders’ solution to the mage-templar problem, the chantry explosion, was the correct action? What would they have done instead?

Saskia doesn’t know what she would’ve done. She’s thought about it a lot. It wasn’t the right action, and it probably wasn’t the only action, but it was something. Some days she hates herself because she thinks Anders was right, and other days she hates herself because she feels like she was too cowardly to do anything. Saskia feels powerless, and that explosion made her feel it all the way down to her toes. She’s just a girl who can swing a sword in a world of magic, what could she have honestly done to change things?

Sebastian.

1. How did your Hawke respond to Sebastian’s devout faith? Were they Andrastian themselves?

Devout faith meant committing her sister to a horrible life. Saskia didn’t spit on his faith but she certainly didn’t like it. The only time he would catch her dropping the Maker’s name was to swear it out. And as the years went on, it just got worse.

2. Did your Hawke push Sebastian to retake Starkhaven? What motivated their decision?

They did. Saskia saw no point in hiring people to take revenge only to let Starkhaven go. It just didn’t make sense for Sebastian to suddenly back off on committing to a path that he quite literally paid for. Everything was stained in blood long before he came to Kirkwall looking for revenge. Saskia might not have phrased it that way, but that’s how she saw it.

3. How did your Hawke feel about Sebastian’s relationship with Grand Cleric Elthina? Did they respect the Grand Cleric themselves?

On one hand, Saskia saw it as some sort of seeking motherly affection thing out of Sebastian. When he divulged stuff about his family, she got it. She got the need for a mother’s approval (definitely). But man, she did not trust that Grand Cleric at all. Didn’t want her to go the way she did, but neutrality only gets someone so far these days.

4. Did your Hawke choose to kill or spare Anders? Did their relationship with Sebastian change depending on their choice?

Saskia spared Anders, and cost her relationship with Sebastian. It was already on the rocks anyway, but Sebastian threatened to hunt the both of them down. Saskia is always ready for a challenge, and Sebastian was free to chase her as far as he wanted by that point.

5. Was your Hawke friendly or hostile towards Sebastian and why?

Oh they were friendly. Those years where Fenris dropped her ass and left her to mope and drink her relationships away were the lowest. Sebastian was there to pick her up. More than once she had considered just going to Starkhaven and handing herself over, but there’s too much at stake. 

(also, their kid, the one Sebastian doesn’t know about? Yeah, didn’t wanna risk his life either, even if she still hasn’t figured out how she feels about her son)

Bethany.

1. Did Bethany become a Grey Warden or die of the Taint or was she taken to the Circle? How did your Hawke react to what became of her?

Bethany became a Grey Warden. The idea was, take Bethany out of the city for a while, throw the Templars off her scent. Perfect, right? Wrong. Saskia was already struggling by that stage, but watching Bethany be taken away by Wardens to be ‘saved’ was the worst. That was the absolute rock bottom point she had hit. Most people think it’s times after that, but failing to protect her sister after everything really did keep the wind out of her.

2. How did Leandra and/or Carver’s death affect your Hawke’s relationship with Bethany?

Losing Carver hurt. Saskia knew Bethany never recovered from the loss of her twin, and she didn’t know how to make it stop hurting. Didn’t help she decided to give Bethany over to the Wardens (Carver’s dream) and made her live that life. Leandra’s death was a nail in a coffin. For what though, Saskia didn’t know. Bethany was closer to Leandra than she would ever be, and that was only because Bethany had to stay at home all the time when they were growing up. Saskia didn’t even know their mother. She didn’t get a response to the letters about Leandra’s death.

3. Due to Bethany being a mage, was your Hawke influenced by her when making the choice between mages and templars?

Not that Saskia would admit it, but there was no way she was going to throw Bethany under once more. She had enough of letting her down. Saskia would’ve supported the mages more than likely anyway, but Bethany was definitely the biggest and most absolute reason.

4. How close were your Hawke and Bethany before they fled to Kirkwall? Did they grow closer or drift farther apart once they were settled in Kirkwall?

Saskia and Bethany were close, but not? Bethany was the one trained by Malcolm, while Saskia and Carver sat at the back, swinging their swords and firing arrows. Sure, Malcolm gave them martial training too, in some form, and did teach them some stuff about magic, but Bethany had their father and their mother. Saskia protected her sister as she did her brother, and she would like to believe they were close. 

Kirkwall broke them all a little bit. Whatever fractures made themselves apparent when they went into the Deep Roads, it would be years until they repaired.

5. Did your Hawke stay in contact with Bethany after the mage-templar decision in Kirkwall?

Oh yeah. Saskia made sure Bethany was somewhere safe and secure and well protected. They wrote and visited frequently, as Bethany was one of the last and only connections Saskia felt like she had to anything or anyone.