#also the fact that this was posted 21 minutes ago and there’s like no pictures on my dash

[bankbee]

What can I even say

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

Mapping Madrid: Week 8

I KNOW it's been a while and i'm so so sorry. but look. Carabanchel! peace and love on planet earth <3. so... i had to get a book from carabanchel's public library and i was like... hey let's do a mapping madrid while we're at it! coincidentally the roulette has now twice in a row landed on carabanchel so. i had no other option. as you can see, however, the station featured in this post is Carabanchel Alto ('High Carabanchel'), which was the result of me walking around not really knowing where i was going and realising i was 50 mins away from Carabanchel and only 30 from Carabanchel Alto once i wanted to go back home. the bad thing is... Carabanchel is in my beloved line 5, whereas carabanchel alto is in the dreaded line 11. let me talk about line 11 for a minute, cause it made my trip back home twice as long (it almost took me 2 hours lol) and it's now my archnemesis. it is the shortest metro line in the city (with the exception of Ramal i guess. also they're now expanding it i think but still) and it only has one entry point through line 6, so it's basically a bottleneck. i hate it so much. en fin. Carabanchel is one of the 21 districts of Madrid, and it used to be an independent town back in the day before being annexed by Madrid. In fact, it was two towns, Carabanchel and Carabanchel Alto, that's why there's that distinction. It is a very working class area of the city, with lots of immigrants and diversity, and for me Carabanchel is the beating heart of Madrid, as here is where the biggest festivities and traditions take place, and the people here are the proudest and the bestest honestly <3 As I said previously, I mainly wandered around after going to the library (which didn't have the book I wanted rip) listening to a new podcast I just found (I really recommend it, it's called 'No hay negros en el Tíbet') and sitting for a bit to read some Catullus (<3). Most of the time I was in this kinda new-ish area, it reminded me a lot of Loranca, part of Fuenlabrada which is one of the big southern cities (here's a post about Madrid's peripheria I made a few years ago in case you wanna know more about that), where my cousin and uncles live. Only at the end I got to the traditional 'old town', but by then my phone was dying so i didn't take many pictures unfortunately. Also I am pretty sure I passed by possibly the most important place in Carabanchel, the old Carabanchel Prison, which was established during the Francoist era and was the largest and harshest prison in the country, torturing thousands political prisoners (NEVERMIND I JUST READ ON WIKIPEDIA THAT IT WAS DEMOLISHED IN 2008. NO IDEA WHAT I SAW THEN).

[larrytimelines]

July 2021 complete timeline

July 1 (Thur): Robert Harvey posts a pic of Louis in the studio working on LT2 (link).

Holivia is seen by fans having drinks, walking and having dinner in Island of Giglio (pictures and videos here). Within 30 minutes of pictures dropping, there is an article about Holivia on a romantic Italian getaway (link). Deuxmoi posts a ‘spotted’ pic of Holivia at dinner (link).

Deuxmoi mention Holivia’s Italian vacation in their weekly email newsletter, as well as recap Jason and Keeley going on romantic dates in NY on June 26th - further confirming them as a couple (link).

Jason & Keeley are papped on several dates in NY. Ted Lasso is deemed a strong Emmys contender.

July 2 (Fri): Louis is seen watching a EUROs game with Oli in London (videos and pictures here).

Not seen, but Holivia were taking the yacht pics in Monte Argentario (link).

Ted Lasso is expected to “sweep Emmy nominations”. And everyone loves Ted Lasso.

July 3 (Sat): Louis watching the England EUROs game with Calvin, Charlie Lightening, Ella (E’s bff), Ella’s boyfriend, Eleanor and friends (pics here, here; videos here, here).

Holivia in Rome, attending the England v Ukraine match, they are papped and fans take pictures with Harry (pics here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here; pap pics; videos here, here, here, here and here).

Lottie posted a picture of Freddie on her stories with the text “mini Louis” on it (link).

July 4 (Sun): No updates.

July 5 (Mon): Louis is papped and pictured with fans outside the studio (pics here, here, here, here, and here). 

Yachtgate pics from Backgrid of Holivia dancing, lounging and kissing on a yacht drop and Page 6 exclusive. Pics from Monte Argentario on July 2.

Page 6 exclusive about Jason being in NY with the kids and how he’ll go on a promo-tour for Ted Lasso soon. They talk about how Jolivia take turns taking care of the kids and that he’s dating Keeley.

Jul 6 (Tue): Article and pap pics of Louis debuting his long hair to the press and greeting fans while signing autographs outside the studio. Article is positive, light, and mentions his record-breaking livestream last December (link).

Articles about Holivia’s “romantic” Italian getaway & how well Jolivia are co-parenting

July 7 (Wed): Louis is seen watching the EURO games with friends, including Oli, Eleanor, hot Luke, Alana, Ella (E’s bff), Ella’s bf and more (videos here, here, here, and here, pics here, here, here and here).

Articles about Holivia’s “steamy” kiss and “romantic yacht dance” on their Italian vacation

July 8 (Thur): New pictures and Page 6 exclusive of Holivia on the yacht. They try to distort the timeline and say it’s a different day, when it’s all from the same day. Emphasis of articles is on how hot shirtless Harry Styles is kissing Olivia (link).

And another Page 6 exclusive about Holivia being “holed up at a romantic luxury resort in Porto Ercole”.

July 9 (Fri): Super Hi post a video of Louis recording LT2 at the studio (link). And a fan posts pictures with Louis outside the studio (pics here and here).

Louis posts a video for BSL “sign of the day” challenge (link). Isabella Signs says that all she did to get Louis to film the video of him signing “singer” in BSL was ask him (link).

More articles about hot shirtless Harry Styles kissing Olivia in Italy.

Articles about Jason throwing the 1st pitch at a baseball game with his kids come out.

July 10 (Sat): Louis is seen with Oli and hot Luke at a EURO soccer village in London drinking beer and having fun. A fan reports that he smelled gooooood (pics here, here, here, here, here, here and here; videos here, here and here).

Some articles about Holivia kissing in Italy and Jason with the kids at the baseball game.

July 11 (Sun): Louis is seen attending the EURO final at Wembley with Eleanor (pics), and spotted walking among fans in the streets of London (video and pics here).

Article about Jason and Keeley being a couple.

July 12 (Mon): Exclusive 369 merch is sent out to fans (link).

Articles about Ted Lasso’s “overwhelming” reception.

July 13 (Tue): Jason is the cover of GQ and he confirms he and Onlivia broke up in November 2020, that he hit rock bottom, but has “chosen to land like an Avanger” and is moving on and “not heartbroken”. He says he “still doesn’t have clarity” in regards to their breakup. He also got 20 Emmy nominations for Ted Lasso, which were announced today in a move of HIGHLY calculated timing and PR (link).

July 14 (Wed): Love On Tour is rescheduled to start September 2nd 2021 only in the US. Canada dates are cancelled (link here, and here).

Louis’ DC and NY tour dates are rescheduled (they had been rescheduled a long time ago but many fans didn’t notice) (link).

Articles about Jason’s GQ interview - focus is on his split from Olivia.

July 15 (Thur): Harry likes Gemma’s post on IG (link).

Article about Olivia being focused on co-parenting and how she’ll always do what’s best for her kids (link).

Jason attends the Ted Lasso premiere in LA.

July 16 (Fri): Olivia is papped going to the gym in NY (link).

Deuxmoi expands on trashy tabloid rumors that Holivia getting engaged/married in Italy is a real possibility (link).

Articles about the rumor that Harry and Olivia got married in Italy.

Articles about Jason attending Ted Lasso’s premiere on the 15th, wearing a shirt supporting black English soccer players who faced racist abuse after England’s EUROs loss (article link).

Articles about Jason wearing a bracelet his daughter made him that spells out “daddy” to the Ted Lasso premiere (article link).

July 17 (Sat): Harry is papped arriving in LA (video and pics here).

Jojo pics says a friend saw Harry getting his covid-19 vaccine in London (link).

Fans post a video of them meeting Louis at the beach (video and pics here and here). Another fan claims Louis was close to her work (link).

Eleanor posts picture where Louis’ leg can be seen at a rocky beach (link).

Olivia and her daughter get their nails done in NY  according to Deuxmoi (link). Deuxmoi posts a ‘spotted’ post about Olivia being seen at the Fort Greene farmers market in NY (link).

Articles about Jason wearing a shirt supporting black English soccer players. 

July 18 (Sun): Articles about Ted Lasso.

July 19 (Mon): Olivia is papped arriving in LA, pics and video are released. In the video they ask her about ‘online rumors’ that her and Harry already got married, and what her ring size is. She replies that she isn’t “ever gonna talk to you guys” (link). Article is also released (link).

Deuxmoi posts a ‘spotted’ post about Olivia with her daughter Daisy getting their nails done in NY allegedly on the 17th. They claim they could see both of them smile (even tho they were wearing masks) and dance to WS and her daughter mentions Harry (link).

Jason is papped arriving in NYC with an avocado plush toy after being away on a Ted Lasso press tour (article link). And more articles about Ted Lasso.

July 20 (Tue): Deuxmoi posts story claiming that Holivia “are very serious” and that “word is they’ve talked about” getting engaged/married. She also posted a story about Jeff Azoff (link).

Jason is papped wearing a tie-dye sweater in NY and goes on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert (link). More articles about Ted Lasso and Jason’s anti-racism support.

July 21 (Wed): Article drops clarifying Jason is not dating Keeley and is, in fact, single, and seen out at a bar with friends and model Irina Shayk (link). More articles about Ted Lasso and Jason’s anti-racism support, as well as articles about Jason playing with puppies on GQ.

Articles about Olivia “responding to Harry Styles marriage rumors”.

July 22 (Thur): Louis says on Twitter that he lost his phone during the EUROs, and tweets from an Iphone (link here and here).

Eleanor posts video of Bruce swimming at the pool in Louis’ public house and a picture of herself at the house (link).

Olivia is papped getting coffee in LA (link).

Articles about Olivia “responding to Harry Styles marriage rumors”.

Jason goes on the Today show. More articles about Ted Lasso and Jason’s anti-racism support.

July 23 (Fri): One Direction’s 11th anniversary! Louis thanks fans on twitter (link).

Unseen video of One Direction, shot by Cal Aurand in 2012 is released (video link).

Article about Olivia getting coffee in LA on the 22nd drops (link).

Olivia posts a picture on her IG story at the Dumbo Soho House and says that DWD is nearing the end of picture-lock (link). Picture is likely old.

More articles about Ted Lasso.

July 24 (Sat): More articles about Ted Lasso.

July 25 (Sun): LTHQ announces a giveaway for Walls vinyls (link).

Fan posts screenshots of Harry’s knees in Italy likely between June 18-30th 2021 (link).

Deuxmoi posts a ‘spotted’ post about Olivia getting coffee in LA on the 22nd (link).

Olivia is papped alone in LA (link).

More articles about Ted Lasso.

July 26 (Mon): Deuxmoi posts about Olivia facetiming Harry from a coffee shop in NYC using her back camera, calling her a “boomer” (link).

Article about Olivia being seen alone in LA, and how she’s working on coparenting with Jason, and that she’ll do whatever it takes for her kids. Pics likely from the 25th (link).

More articles about Ted Lasso.

July 27 (Tue): “Article” exclusive with US Weekly about Holivia being so free and having an “ease” to their relationship - justifying them spending little time together (link).

Article calling Olivia a boomer for facetiming with her back camera.

More articles about Ted Lasso.

July 28 (Wed): Louis drops his “summer drop” merch (link).

The Xfactor gets permanently cancelled (link).

More articles about Ted Lasso.

July 29 (Thur): Louis announces The Away from Home Festival in London (link). Articles about The Away From Home Festival (link, link).

July 30 (Fri): Louis liked tweets by bands ‘Johnny Took’ and ‘The Lathums’ (link).

Articles about The Away From Home Festival (link, link, link).

Walls reentered the Official Charts (link).

“Article” about Harry being “obsessed” with his relationship with Olivia and turning into her puppy dog who follows her everywhere (link).

Olivia is pictured in NY via her and her PA’s IG stories (pics).

July 31 (Sat): Harry is spotted in a coffee shop in LA in the morning. He is with his friends Reesh (srilankansunshine) and Al Shearer (pics and video links).

Deuxmoi reposts screenshot and video of Harry at the coffee shop. As well as a message from someone claiming that Harry was working on new music at a studio (link).

Deuxmoi posts (on Aug 1) a ‘spotted’ reel in which Olivia is seen with her kids at Empire Diner in Chelsea NY, as well as walking with her kids there (link). Jason was seen at a baseball game in NY. Dates are uncertain, alleged to be the 31st, but could be 26-31st.

[visarcana]

In (Reluctant but Needed) Defense of Allen

This is something I wrote in the Slack channel discussion but I wanted to save it here. And I’m sure I’ll expand on it even more as I go. Well, I am trying to make Millerna a bit more relatable and sympathetic character in the fic; why stop there? Though I admit, this might be even one level up. Cause you either love or hate Allen, right? No gray area there. Nevertheless, let’s try (also, belated happy birthday to him!)

So what is the most superficial, caricatured image there is to get of Allen? I think there are two things that people often reduce his character to:

a manwhore (and turbo one at that) that would do anything that breathes and seduces women for the fun of it

a toxic, manipulative “30 year old” that preys on all these innocent teenagers, moreover, teenagers he sees his sister in (yuck, how creepy is that?!)

It’s usually one of these two, or a combination of them. And ngl, my image of him was not much better early on, after the first watch and reading some fics where he often became a straight-out villain.

It took me many years, several rewatches, and some new content to improve my opinion of him. First of all, let’s get some facts in here.

Allen is 21, he’s the same age as both Dryden and Eries

His sister was spirited away 10 years ago and around the same time his mother died, making him roughly 11 at the time

He then turned to life of crime, becoming a highway bandit, until he met Balgus

It was Balgus who changed his perspective of life, made him care about honor and all that, and made him into a master swordsman

His romance with Marlene happened as he was about 16 while Marlene was two years his senior and it was Marlene who was after Allen from the minute she first saw him, manipulating her father to get him a post of the Palace Guard near her (from the novels, feel free to disregard if you want though it’s all complement to the series)

Allen & Women

Obviously, we have to start here. But, consider this: Allen’s womanizing reputation may come simply from how he treats women, not necessarily from his body count. People tend to oversimplify things, so when they see him switching his charm/flirty side on, they would automatically assume he would have tons of experience. 

Because no matter how you look at it, there's just not a whole lot of time for him to play around too much. Obviously, he is not flirtatious yet as he trains with Balgus and coming from the novels and stuff, he is STILL not a "ladykiller" while in relationship with Marlene. And then he gets banned to a remote sausage fest of a border fortress.

The series itself is a bit vague in the Marlene part (there is that troubled look of his in that shot where they are hugging in the garden, but that's easy to miss or disregard)... so the viewers may jump to the conclusion that "hey, this guy already seduced the princess as a teenager, it's in his nature!". And that's their image of him they work with. 

I think the Marlene chapter in the novels definitely changed that image even for myself. It was not Allen who actively sought that relationship, or did a whole lot to make her fall for him. Heck, he barely DID anything. A good example of how a crushing girl can build a whole castle of melodrama about a guy she barely even knows.

After Marlene, there shouldn't be a whole lot of time for him to seduce half of Palas or whatever. And then there is the banishment to Castelo, where it doesn't look like a whole lot of women would come by. Still, his men recognize the way he treats ladies so they must have witnessed it before. Didn't have to be like every other day, a handful of typical charming Allen displays would paint his picture sufficiently for them. Let's also not forget that they are a rough bunch and probably not used to chivalry and courtly manner at all, so it's all the more remarkable for them.

I think the creators struggled with Allen’s image a bit, too. It's interesting that two of the deleted scenes in the early episodes actually showcased Allen flirting with  Hitomi. Besides one extra scene at Castelo, there's another one at the Crusade just before landing in Asturia for the first time. I think that one is the most daring, I mean, it looks like he's about to nuzzle up or even kiss her. And there's no Dilandau or other objective/protective reason to be so affectionate, except to ease her (and his own) mind before landing in the "Capital of Intrigue." 

I can see how this got axed because it really fixes his image of flirtatiousness. They possibly had second thoughts about it if they toned it down as much, and yeah, you don't really see him behave so forward even later in the series. Probably also because he befriends Hitomi and takes her a little bit more seriously. 

I also think the motive behind Allen's behavior is not to seduce women like sport (even though he's often portrayed like that in fanworks)... it is to be pleasant to them, protect them, tell them what they want to hear etc. In one of the filmbook secrets, Allen is called feminisuto (I refuse to write it as feminist, becaust the meaning is different here). 

Feminisuto in Japanese is a "guy who indulges women," basically, the meaning is the same as a gentleman. I think this could be sort of an archetype of a man in Japanese society, and knowing more about that culturally would explain a lot about Allen's character. One of the reasons I see is what happened to his mother and obviously Celena, but I want to talk about Encia a bit.

I think it's clear that Allen very well understood much of their family's misfortune was rooted in his father emotionally neglecting and eventually abandoning his mother. I think this influenced how he treats women a lot. Yes, he is overprotective and coddles them, but I also believe he is very weak towards them and can't say "no" to them.

For example, it's obvious that he doesn't want to get involved with Millerna from the start, but he is also too weak to refuse her properly, whether it's because of his attraction towards her or hesitation to hurt her.  Also, that early flirting phase is something he’s the best at, because he thinks it's all about that and doesn't really know how to build an equal, trusting relationship... he thinks being nice and attentive to women solves all the problems, without having to open about himself too much. Hitomi may be an exception, which is maybe why he asks her to marry him eventually.

Of course, Allen's looks combined with those caring and gentlemanly ways of his would just attract women endlessly. That's another thing, you may have witnessed it irl; the good looking guy, no matter how shy or awkward in the beginning, would gain a lot of self-confidence as women throw themselves at him just because of his looks and he gains more experience with them. 

Also, I believe Marlene was a big heartbreak for him so maybe he did become a bit of a playboy afterwards, while he was at his lowest... I think that’s the sort of a headcanon the fandom agrees on, that it was at this point that he fooled around with women. 

I also wrote a while ago already that I don't think he was banished immediately after the Marlene affair, giving a time window for Millerna and Eries to develop their respective relationships with him. Because they both are familar with him and if he was gone from the capital immediately after Marlene... then at least Millerna wouldn’t know or remember him at all, young as she was when Marlene left for Freid. 

Perhaps he was gaining a bit of that reputation few years after Marlene, and that was what eventually pushed Aston to order him far away from his daughters? That, or it was at a later point he found out about the affair. Or even both. I think it all comes together nicely, just depends on how you want to connect it all in your head. 

About him seducing younger women... I would obviously never condone anything like it irl but you gotta take the setting into consideration. It’s not like it doesn’t happen in modern-age stories, too, but I would be more forgiving in this kind of (pseudo)historical story.

I specifically believe that on Gaea, at 15 you are already considered “of age.” We see that as both Van and Folken attempt the dragonslaying to become the king at 15, Dilandau is a commander and the Dragonslayers are soldiers at 15, Millerna gets married at 15 (and in general, looks mature enough so that nobody would guess she is only that). Gaea’s level of development is 17-18th century Earth with a much shorter life expectancy, which yes, pushes these ages down and nobody would pause at that. 

The way I see it, 15 is Gaean 18 and the difference between Allen and the girls would be 24 and 18 years old in Earth terms. Of course, it’s still not ideal and nothing to be proud of on Allen’s side, but I guess Gaean society would not frown at him (or Dryden for that matter) for craddle-robbing. Also, let’s realize that by modern standards, an “adult” Marlene seduced an underaged Allen, too, though the age difference was much smaller.

An entirely other beast is Allen’s “cage” speech and his overprotectiveness. You really start to see the loss of his sister and mother seep through when he reprimands Hitomi even about simply walking around the city. And that “keeping precious things under lock,” you sort of see where it’s coming from but then; this is truly a character flaw and I have nothing else to say here. I just pity poor Celena after the end of the series but I know she would get him to change his ways, in many ways. Also, living with her and helping her gain her independence again should improve this (the guys growing up around sisters tend to have much better understanding of women).

It seems Allen subconsciously avoids an older and more experienced partner who would see right through his crap and confront him about it. I honestly hope for this to happen to him, could also be pretty hilarious to watch. Eries is probably the only good candidate from the introduced cast to give him a piece of mind, especially since he seems to respect her and she’s all ladylike. I could still see her doing it without breaking her form too much.  An older Millerna might as well. I mean, she did give him a bit of a wake-up call in chapter 14 of my fic, too, I hope at least.

The Bravery & Honor

This is too often forgotten but if you watched paying attention to anything else than shipping, Allen is always trying to act honorably. When he takes Van and Hitomi under his wing, that’s not calculation, nor attraction towards Hitomi... it’s just the right thing to do. He lets his fortress to be destroyed for that right thing, and King Aston is quick to scold him about it (“honor alone can’t save a country.”) 

You might be distracted by his princess hair or skirted uniform but Allen is a heroic, honorable character, and can wreck pretty much anyone with his mech. And does it all with a certain effortless charm of some sort of movie hero. I sort of recognize this sort of character from other mecha titles, the initially unreachable rival/friend/aniki who is annoyingly good at what he’s doing, is sort of an idol for the protagonist and helps him improve and often dies heroically. Allen successfully averted that, maybe because this is not quite a classic mecha story. And then, there is was Folken (this still kinda felt too soon).

Anyway, Allen gets in trouble again and again because of honor (he saves the kidnapped Van against all odds on Vione, he gets arrested for crossing Zaibach - at the time still an ally of his country, he escapes to Freid to warn them about the attack, etc.) Time and time again you see him make a decision when the dishonorable option would have been the easier one, and Allen takes the honorable way, again and again. 

And he teaches Van a thing or two about it, too. I think this is an important thing, because the origin of these teachings is Balgus, so through Allen as a senpai, Van still can get some of the Balgus’ lessons he never had a chance to obtain. But then, there’s something else between the two.

The Rivalry & Pettiness

This is sort of harder to track because Van is a trademark hothead who would pick fights with Allen against all reason... but it seems Allen enjoys it himself? I mean, enjoys knocking Van into dust. 

I will repeat myself here, but one of the things I disliked about Allen fighting Van at Castelo was how he mentioned Balgus for no other apparent reason than to throw him off (”Balgus never held back like that.”) And that was not nice of him in my charts because there is no way he would mention this if he didn’t know Balgus trained Van (he may have as well said “did you even learn anything from him?”) And it makes Van feel shittier than he had to about his loss, beating himself with the memory of his late master. 

This really gives me trouble because why would the honorable Allen proceed like that? He can win this with ease anyway, so why pull the Balgus card? And if you read about bushido... even remaining in today’s sports like karate/judo/kendo, it’s just disrespectful and weak to show joy over beating someone and such, same as using some petty tricks. And yet, Allen does it, despite being an alumni of The Balgus School of Honor.

Well, one of the explanations I found is, he probably tries to kick Van into action and improving, instead of pitying himself. And he sort of succeeds, cause Van really focuses on training more from that on, as confirmed by the artbooks.

Other possible theory was, when Balgus left back for Fanelia (”sorry lad, I hear my king is ill, g2g!”) Allen felt sort of bummed that his master ditched him? There was probably some talk where they agreed that Allen should get back to Asturia and regain his house. But maaaybe Allen had wanted to stay with Balgus and learn/adventure some more?

Another, and I tend to like (and when I say like I mean use) that one is, Van is eerily reminding Allen of himself at his age, I mean, at his emo bandit age. Van surely looks and plays the part of emo bandit all too well. So, being hard on him comes naturally to Allen, he would be hard on himself after all. He wouldn’t be so mean to another adversary, but to Van, who is his rival (in more ways than one) and reminds him of the him he would like to forget, somehow brings out the worse in him.

To be comprehensive, Allen has a similar hack and slash with Dryden, but the latter seems to be more on the winning side there, skillfully turning the knife in Allen’s wounds left by his father just as well as Allen managed to do with Van early on. Then Dryden gets a whipping himself. Yeah, karma is a bitch.

There, I think I wrote enough, and that on top of the chapter 14, where we sort of touch upon Allen x pretty much everyone... and that will continue for a short bit now, among other things. Regardless of the fic, I think the implication of the end of the series is that Allen wouldn’t have much time for romance from now on, his family relations with Celena and perhaps Chid would take precedence for a while. I wonder how that would change him and make him more mature. Allen at 30 or so, now that is something I’d like to see... 

So yeah, to sum up, 

YES Allen has a weakness for women BUT NO he would not have the time nor opportunity to whore around a whole lot

YES he acts flirtatious BUT it’s also about chivalry for him

YES he pursues younger women BUT they are of-age in-universe and he is quite immature himself

YES he is all this BUT don’t overlook that he is a honorable knight and without him, his ship, and protection, VH would have been screwed from the get-go and too many times to count

AND YEAH he’s supposed to be so relentlessly handsome on top of that kindness, chivalry, and heroism, that it must have seemed like he stepped out of a dream to them... so please forgive also these girls who don’t know any better YET

P.S. The reason it’s a reluctant defense is I feel like I may not be big enough fan of Allen to be writing this but here we are. On the other hand, I doubt I wrote more even about my top favs!

[topflights]

tagged by @sldghmmr thank u so much for the tag!! i always end up being rlly excited to be tagged in these and then forget to do them for a couple days then come back to it and am like. oh no. oh no i didnt do it. and then get worried it would b awkward and never post it so im doing this RN IMMEDIATELY thank u!!!

relationship status: single! im not great w talking to ppl every day or texting ppl first so it’s for the best trust me akjdufhg

favorite color: oooo if we’re gonna do like, general color, probably blue. i like any shade of blue. but if i get to be all pretentious and annoying, then i really like sea foam green.

favorite food: im... so sorry. my favorite food is pizza. ill show myself out now

song stuck in your head: ok so at this VERY moment it’s that tiktok song with the kid talkin abt how much he loves corn. before like three minutes ago it was 2 minutes to midnight by iron maiden

last thing you googled: this is so embarrassing but uh. plagiarism. just plagiarism. so i could basically plagiarize google and not sound stupid when i defined it for my college course 

time: 12:22 am

dream trip: italy!!! id love to see rome and pompeii in particular. ancient rome is so interesting and pompeii is so fascinating and horrifying and it would be amazing to visit and see everything up close

last book you read: song of achilles

last book you enjoyed: also song of achilles actually!!

last book you hated reading: i think the last time i REALLY disliked reading a book that wasnt entirely based on the fact that school was forcing me to read it was crispin: the cross of lead back when i was in... sixth grade? but i think it just freaked me out more than anything and i feel like it was probably an important read since it DID make me so uncomfortable

favorite thing to bake/cook: I REALLY love baking cake and cookies. i have a problem baking brownies specifically bc i dont have a good recipe yet but. im workin on it ill figure it out then onto the next thing

most niche dislike: oil pastels. i cant do it. i just cant. the texture is so so bad and aaaaa nooooo!!!

opinion on the circus: dont know enough abt it. got a friend that was a clown for barnum and bailey for a long time but im also terrified of clowns so hes not allowed to show me any pictures from back then. 

do you have a sense of direction: not even a little bit. i got LOST in MANHATTAN. the streets are NUMBERED!!! it’s a GRID SYSTEM and i was COMPLETELY LOST!!! ive lived in the same area of georgia for all 21 years of my life and i still dont know anything past a 5 minute radius from my house

tagging: anybody who wants to do it!!! this was super duper fun!!! i rlly liked it!!

[bebepac]

Ri-Liamo de Bergerac (Happy birthday Zoehanji )

Happy birthday @zoehanji​ !!!!!

Original Post date: 04/27/21 at 9:52PM EST  (4/28 where you are celebrating your birthday!!!) 

I have no idea when we started talking but we did, somewhere in the beginning of my writing journey on this site.  Even though I still consider myself to be a beginner here. Thank you for being my friend and being a fellow long distance cousin, as our relative in common would be Drama Whore!  Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha   🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I hope you enjoy this.  I know that Fast Forward has always been one of your favorites.  

The Book:  TRH and Beyond

Pairing: Liam x Riley  /  Maxwell x Taylor  (Maxwell x F!OC)

Warnings:  Sexual Innuendo  and fluff. 

Word Count:  1889

Summary:  Maxwell and Taylor go on their first date.  Both are nervous and ask Liam and Riley for an assist.  

A/N:  This is a little similar version of Cyrano de Bergerac, not in the take that someone has a big nose, no one does, but the aspect of someone getting help in a conversation by using someone else’s words.  I did ask around to see if anyone had done something similar to this.  No one recalled of a similar story, so any similarities to anything currently on the fandom is completely unintentional.  

I also used @theworldofprompts  prompt: "All my life I've been searching for an answer as to where I belong. Then I met you and everything changed. You treated me like I deserved to be treated and you made me feel like I had a home. I don't want to lose that. I don't want to lose you." which will appear in bold.  

Song inspiration for this.  I heard this song while i was desperately needing to calm down while i was listening to the calm station on my pandora and I came across this song and enjoyed it so, so here it is for you all to enjoy too. I feel like it has a little sweet nervous energy, but then the music builds like you’re getting used to being with someone. it’s truly a beautiful piece.  

First Love by Yiruma 

I don’t own rights to the music. But i’m quickly becoming a Yiruma fan.  Every song was amazing that i heard today and it had such a unique feel.  I could pick them when they started playing on pandora.  

Riley raised her eyebrow at Maxwell. She saw him pacing nervously as he kept glancing in Taylor's direction. Taylor was completely oblivious as she had her nose buried in a book she'd gotten from the estate library.

Finally Maxwell had psyched himself up. He walked over to Taylor sitting in the lawn chair next to her.

"Hey Softie."

Taylor put down her book, as did Ellie as she was sharing the oversized lounge chair in the sun with Taylor. Both lifted their sunglasses to their hair.  

"Lord Playlist?"

"So I was wondering if you want to have dinner tonight."

"Silly Uncle Maxwell, we eat dinner every night."  Ellie confirmed matter of factly.

"What Riley Jr. said."  Both Taylor and Ellie picked up their books again, sliding their glasses back to cover their eyes.

Riley laughed to herself.  Oh my God Taylor she thought. She is absolutely adorably clueless. 

Liam laughed softly.  He gently rubbed Riley's stomach.

"Aren't you glad we're married? We don't  have to do that."

"You were never like that."

Liam blushed.  "I felt like that when I talked to you the first time. I don't even remember what I said on the street to you. I was so dumbfounded by your beauty."

"You don't remember me being so awkward, Liam?"  

Liam shook his head. "You… were perfect, is all I remember, My Love."

A light blush hit Max's cheeks.  

"What I meant Softie, was you and me alone, away from the estate."

Taylor slowly lowered the book again, her eyes slowly meeting Maxwell’s.

"So like a date?"

"I mean date is a strong word, but it could be an accurate one. Two people dressed nicely eating food together at the same table. I mean I'm not opposed to the idea if you are."

"Auntie Taylor likes food, and to dress nicely. You should see Auntie Taylor's dress for the ball. I picked it!!!!!"

"Excuse me Miss Crown Princess read your book."

"So… whaddya say Softie? Dinner tonight?"

"Sure. Riley Jr. nailed it pretty much."  

"Great! I'll meet you out front at seven."

Great."

"I swear this baby likes to just sit in there and poke my bladder for fun." Riley tried to roll out of the lounge chair she was on. “A little help Liam?”

Liam immediately jumped up to assist Riley to her feet.  

"You just went thirty minutes ago."

"You tell your daughter that."

Liam affectionately rubbed her stomach, kneeling to plant a soft kiss on it.

"Little One be nice to Mommy. She has kept you safe all this time and we still have a few weeks to go. Let Mommy relax.."

Riley had stepped out of the lavatory only a few steps when Taylor descended on her like a ninja.

"Jesus Christ! Taylor you almost scared the crap out of me, and the way this baby has my bodily functions out of whack it could have legit happened!!!"

“Ew. Riley. Gross.  Another reason I won’t procreate.  Did you see, Maxwell asked me out!!!! On a date!!!!"

Riley laughed.  "Because he likes you, and you like him."

"What are we going to talk about alone?!?!"

"You guys talk, and you are texting back and forth all the time."

"We talk in a group Riley. All Me and Maxwell do via text is meme war each other."

“Huh?”

"Our whole texting conversation… nothing but memes!!!"

She swiped on Maxwell's conversation in her phone it was nothing but pictures.

"It's okay, I'll get an ear piece set  from Nico, and help you.”

“You’d do that for me?”  

“Of course I would.  Can’t have your first date with the guy you like nothing but uncomfortable dead air.”  

“Thanks Ri.  Can you keep this between us?”

“Sure! Do you need help picking an outfit for tonight?"

"Nope, with the outfit, you kind of already did when you gave me my new wardrobe. If I can’t pick from there, I’m truly an idiot."

Little did Riley and Taylor know Maxwell and Liam were having a similar conversation.

“Liam I didn’t think she would really say yes!!!  She said yes!!!! She said yes…..” 

Then it looked like the gravity of the situation crashed into him.  Maxwell looked like he was about to hyperventilate.  

“Calm down Maxwell.  Taylor likes you.  It’s easy to tell from the trained eye.  She lets down her guard around you.”  

“What are we going to talk about?  I can’t talk about peacocks all night.  Or Memes. She’ll think I'm a complete buffoon.   I don’t even have reservations anywhere.  I asked her on a nice date and I don’t even have reservations ANYWHERE!!!! What am i going to do?!?!?!

Liam grabbed Maxwell by the shoulders.  “Get a hold of yourself man!!!!  And take a breath, your face is turning blue.”  

Maxwell took a few cleansing breaths.  

“Don’t worry about the reservations, I can handle that.  It’s good you are friends with the King and Queen.  And for conversation I can got it.  I’ll get an earpiece from Bastien, and you’ll be fine.”

“Don’t tell Riley.  She still hasn’t let go about the fact of my baby hippo tattoo.”

“Nor will I thank you for reminding me of it.”  Liam laughed loudly.  

Maxwell and Taylor left on their date.   Both Liam and Riley made excuses to not be in the other’s company for the evening.  

Both Liam and Riley were pleasantly surprised being a whisper in someone’s ear how well the night was going.  Both couldn’t stop thinking about how natural the moments between the two of them felt, and how perfect they were for each other.  

“I can’t tell you enough Taylor how beautiful you look to me tonight.  And I know you’ve had trouble seeing yourself that way when it comes to that word. But you are Taylor.”  

She heard her sister softly gasp.   Tears filled Riley’s eyes.    

Tell him Thank you, and that you wanted to look nice…. For him.”

Taylor parroted her words.

Taylor starred at the menu. None of it was in English and she had no idea what any of it meant.

I wish I had your eyes right now Riley. Taylor thought.  

The conversation was sweet and romantic. It was the perfect date.   Maxwell reached across the table taking Taylor’s hand.  

“Would you like to dance?”

“Yes.”    

As they danced,  Taylor started relaxing in Maxwell’s arms.  

“You know I have a hard time sharing my emotions sometimes. All the time..”  

“I know. And that’s okay.  We can take this slow.  There’s no rush Softie.”  

This felt familiar to Liam..  Too familiar.  He knew those words…..her words.

Riley felt the same way but she couldn’t be sure.  

Both had gotten up from their desks to investigate to see what the other was up to.  

Taylor had never felt like a moment was so perfect and what Riley said, she really felt in her heart.

"All my life I've been searching for an answer as to where I belong. Then I met you and everything changed. You treated me like I deserved to be treated and you made me feel like I had a home. I don't want to lose that. I don't want to lose you."

“Riley?”  But she had the feeling, it wasn’t Maxwell’s question.

Taylor pulled away from Maxwell.

“Liam?”  

Liam and Riley stared at each other in the hallway.  

He touched her ear feeling her ear piece and she touched his, feeling the same. 

“I knew it was you.” They both said in unison.

“I could feel your heart Riley, through the words even though it wasn’t you saying them.”  

“I could feel you too.”  

From the earpieces they could hear Liam and Riley kissing and the sounds of commotion.

“Bedroom, now?”  Liam's voice deep, rumbling with desire and need.

“YES LIAM!" Riley cried out.

"OH GOD!" Taylor shrieked.

Both Maxwell and Taylor ripped out their earpieces.  

“Well that escalated quickly.”  Max cleared his throat looking at their earpieces that were laying on the table.  “Won’t be using those for the rest of the evening.” 

“Why did you think you needed help on the date Maxwell?”

“Because I’m awkward, when I’m around you.”  

“No you’re not.  You’re funny, and really nice.  I’m the awkward one. I don’t know how to do this normally.  I’ve never had a healthy romantic relationship before.”  

“That’s okay.  I haven’t been in many relationships before either.  We can learn together.”  

“So can I be honest with you?  I have no clue what the hell I ordered.  This place is nice but it’s too much for me.  I’m guessing it was Liam’s idea?  Can we go somewhere else?”

“I know just the place.”  

Maxwell and Taylor left that restaurant, and when they got to the second place, Taylor’s smile widened.  

“Now stop me Softie if you’ve ever heard this one,  a dashing noble wearing a squid tie with an affinity for peacocks, and a Queen of Cordonia lookalike walk into a bar…….”

Date one for Maxwell and Taylor part two was them dressed up like they were going to the ball, eating burgers and drinking cheap Cordonian Beer, playing pool.  And it was perfect.. For them.

No. Dead. Air.  Conversation flowed easily between the pair.

“Wow.  I can’t believe the earpiece stayed in.”  

“You don’t think they heard anything did they?”  

“I’m sure they probably took them out.”  

"Can I ask you something?"

He could hear the slight sadness in Riley's voice. "Sure, you can ask me anything."

"Do you think I'm cool?"

Liam laughed out loud but abruptly stopped when he saw the look on Riley's face.

"Of course you are Riley."

"Then why is Ellie my sister's shadow right now?  Why do I feel like she wants nothing to do with me?"

"Riley… it's not that. This pregnancy has been rough on you.  You know how active our children are, and how active you were with them. Even while you were pregnant.  Well….Taylor fills that spot  for what you aren't physically able to do right now. Before it was me. I think you notice it more now because it is her.. But yes, it is clear Ellie adores Taylor. They have bonded and really love each other. “

"It was just so hard when I came back from California  Liam. She hated me."

"She didn't. She loved you, and it was my doing that put a wedge between you and her. She was hurting Riley. I did that to her. Not you. I’m sorry for that."

“It’s okay Liam.”  

*^*^*^*^*^*  Breakfast next day *^*^*^*^*^*^*

“How was dinner last night Taylor?”  Riley asked.

“It was great.  We went for Burgers and beers.”  

“That’s nice.”  

Liam lightly cleared his throat.

“So……..”

“We didn’t hear anything.  We both ripped our ear pieces out when we heard where things were heading.”  

“Riley you’re about to pop, how is that even aerodynamically possible right now?!?!?!”  

“Oh it’s possible!”  Liam chuckled.  “God yes it’s possible.”

“Taylor it’s like when the amusement park is about to close and you want to get on your favorite ride one last time.  Even if you’ve had too much food and you’re full and you might throw up.  You got to get on that ride one more time.”

“You went to a carnival Mommy?”  

“No, she just went on a royal scepter ride. God did I say that out loud?”  Taylor slapped her hand over her mouth.

“Oh my God!!! Can we change the subject now please?”  Liam inquired, beads of sweat were forming on his face.    

“Yes please because this conversation went incredibly awkward!”

Riley laughed looking around the table.  The adults looked like they wanted to climb out of their skins and her children looked either confused or unaware of what was happening.

Tags in the Comments!!!

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

👬🏼 Tues 21 July 😅

HAHAHAHA what a day, truly the anniversary content we deserve: hectic, confusing, and ultimately inconclusive! The funniest thing about today's furor is that all that actually happened was a single current picture of Louis being posted but oh, the drama that was wrung from that collection of pixels! First of all LOUIS' HAIR OMGGGG it's so long and fluffy, AMAZING! Thank goodness we at least had a few minutes to squeal over it before the roller coaster car really gained speed... First thing, the second person in the photo was identified as David Joseph, CEO of Universal Music Group, which was obviously very interesting indeed! Much to discuss there and boy were we, quotes and artist rosters and background checks were flying! But next thing you know, further info came in: it was in fact David Joseph's identical twin brother Jeremy!!! Apparently this "Jeremy" is in charge of Louis' merch and they were "going over ideas." Oh and also he owns the G-A-Y bar, site of legendary 1D show, only wait no, he doesn't, that's just a guy with the same name. To review: same name different face, not to be confused with the guy with same face and a different name. The Calder triplets had nothing on these guys for smoke and mirrors but at least we know none of these guys are Liam in a wig! But anyway that got sorted, all clear and easy now. EXCEPT then it turns out that "Jeremy's" "merch company" went out of business seven months ago?! In proper soap opera plot One Direction fashion, every explanation only brings further questions, though to be serious it seems like he likely is just Louis' merch guy even if under a different company name. Unless...??? Additional points of interest: this "Jeremy" has some sort of Irving Azoff connection, and is also friends with Harry, and works closely with his identical cousin twin, David, head of UMG, and most curious of all: Louis "was nervous". Why would Louis be nervous about a merch meeting or a fan pic? (Why is everything so fishy all the time??) This comment has spawned an entire branch of discourse speculating that it was David after all, that David was also there, or that there is no Jeremy oh wait no I'm just trying to start that one my bad.

Eleanor meanwhile is on a romantic birthday trip to Greece with her best friend Ella (but maybe took the time to unfollow Harry's mom Anne on instagram, possibly related to Anne unfollowing her the other day if true.) That Louis chose this precise moment to show himself, in London, after so very VERY long is hilarious but he needn't have bothered; the Elounor stans had already made the disappointing discovery that he wasn't there, though many were still trying to pretend that Ella was Louis even in the face of undeniable evidence to the contrary. Oh and speaking of evidence, Louis' luscious long locks are gorgeous on their own but also tell us something else: that picture of him that Eleanor posted recently was not current.

In other news, another anniversary announcement, Big Payno Liam will be doing a DJ set on Radio One Thurs with Scott Mills, which is all very well and good and would even be exciting news in a different context but it glaringly NOT being the collaborative content we wanted (or involving any long lost twins) somewhat dampens the general enthusiasm. Harris Reed put out a blouse called "the Harry" that they describe as "for the performer who wants to light up a dark room" and they spoke about how it is "dedicated to this person who pushes me to be a better artist, looks out for me and is my guardian angel" but there's reason to think in that instance they meant Harry Lambert which is super confusing- challenge to white Brits stop all naming your kids after the same three royals, though at least they don't have the same face too so I'll count my blessings I guess. Liam put out a cool retro design shirt for the LP Show (but he didn't dedicate it to anyone, someone should tell him that's a thing for shirts now apparently) and liked a post about Louis' charity donation and Louis liked a "gonna tell my kids this was 1D" post of footballers and Niall liked a picture of himself onstage, posted a selfie, and sniped at fans who were saying he had a hickey in it (he very much does appear to). "It's unbelievable on here," he says about twitter, well MOOD though I mean it in a very different way then him today.

[blank-space-daisy13]

Why I won’t invite my biological father to my wedding.

I wanted to post this on Instagram or Facebook but I don’t want to deal with people saying I’m “drama.” But I wanted to write this out just in case someone is ballsy enough to ask me.

Let’s start off with the fact that after he got with my step mom, he wasn’t really around. He also never really cared or tried to take care of us (my brother and me) unless he absolutely had to.

Before my step mom and when we still lived in the apartment, On nights he had us my mom would drop us off already fed, he’d turn the tv on and go play on his computer until we had to go to bed. If he had us on a weekend, same thing. We’d wake up and he’d feed us breakfast, then tv with him in his room on the computer, lunch, tv, dinner, tv, and bed. When we moved from the apartment we stayed at his buddy’s house where he rented a room but guess what? He’d send us down to the basement all day to watch tv, and let us up for meals.

When my stepmom came into the picture, we started going to Canada. On every single one of his weekends. She was nice, at first. Sooner or later everyone shows their true colors. But she started slowly to get a hold of my dad. (My dad had no boundaries with us and she wanted to “help” my dad learn to discipline, but she’s a little extreme.) I once got punished for saying the word “butt” because we only say, “bum” and he yelled at me. Yelled. I was about 7 or 8. Then I heard my future step mother telling him how good he did. Also while we were there, I remember very few times we actually hung out with my dad. It was always being shoved into the playroom with my brother, future stepsister, and sometimes future stepbrother. (Step mom never had full custody of stepbrother.) We’d never leave the playroom other than for meals like the TV. But at least we weren’t rotting our brains, I guess.

After awhile he decided he wanted 50/50 custody. My stepmom at this point could be brutal emotionally. I remember getting yelled at for not knowing any of my immediate family member’s birthdays. I was about 8 or 9. Kind of shitty don’t you think? Going back to the wanting 50/50 custody, he didn’t actually want us. Looking back I understand this now. He just didn’t want to pay as much child support, and that’s probably the only reason my step mom agreed to this. They treated us (my brother and i) horribly. He moved close to my mom’s to prove he’d be willing to do the 50/50 custody, and at that point it was hell. If we did something wrong, immediately we’d get soap in the mouth. My brother later on was getting hot sauce. It would be for things such as, “not sharing with your step sister,” (which she would’ve lied about) or “talking back,” when as a kid I was asking a simple question about their rules. They had so many rules to the point you didn’t realize you were breaking a rule until they told you it was one. My *fondest* memory was when they’d send us kids to the basement for a few hours during the weekend and then got mad when we went through boxes and such to find toys to play with. Because when they first sent us down there, they sent us down there with nothing at all. Sure we probably shouldn’t have gone through boxes, where my brother and I found our toys that they never put with our step sister’s toys, but they sent us down there with nothing at all. They expected us to “imagine” things with no toys. I also got yelled at one weekend because they asked us to clean our bathrooms. (Step sister and I shared a Jack and Jill bathroom and my brother had his own bathroom as well.) We went and picked things up and went back to play. They both yelled at us and said, “If I had meant pick up I would’ve said pick up. I said CLEAN.” At this point I had never cleaned a bathroom in my life. They gave us the cleaning supplies and we went to work. I did what I thought was the best I could do and then my stepmom yells at me, “That wasn’t nearly long enough!!!! Haven’t you ever cleaned a bathroom before?!” Uh no ma’am, I was literally 10. But that was her favorite way to make us feel like shit. To yell, “Haven’t you done XY&Z before?” Or “You don’t know (blank)?! So disrespectful! You should know these things!” (That was said about the birthdays. Again I was a decently young kid.) But going forward, towards the end of them living there, they had a baby together, my other brother J.

Luckily for my brother and I, he eventually gave up going for the 50/50 custody. But with doing this, he left and we didn’t see him for a long time. 5-6 years approximately. I was 15 when he decided he wanted to see us again, and because of everything we had gone through before, we didn’t want to. I had a choice but my brother didn’t, and I was forced to go.

At this point he had married my stepmother, and was living in the same subdivision, and one road away, where had had a house with my mom when they were married. Kind of awkward but ok.

And I have to say, they were better. To a point. They wanted us to feel bad that we didn’t want to be there. At the time I had a really old phone, not a smart phone, that didn’t lock, but they expected my phone to be on the counter at 9pm every night. They read my texts and held them against me, but when I called them out on reading my texts, they told me I was crazy. I would text my friends that I didn’t want to be there, and that I was uncomfortable. They asked me, “Why don’t you want to be here? Why are you uncomfortable? We understand what we did in the past was wrong, but the past is the past and you have to forgive us!” (One wrong thing I was always taught was you always have to forgive. You don’t always have to forgive for things that hurt you.) Finally at the end of this period, they sat us down and tried to make us feel bad by saying, “If you don’t want to be here, we don’t want you here. We want you to want to be here.” At 15 I tried to explain why this was hard, but they didn’t care. It wasn’t their way so they weren’t ok with it.

Fast forward to my Senior Year of high school, I don’t remember how, but my father and I got in touch. My step mom wanted nothing to do with me because of a dumb YouTube video I made at 14 where I “talked shit” about her daughter and herself. Yes, I did, but who didn’t do something dumb at 14? I wasn’t allowed around their house because HER son had a “drug problem.” (Marijuana) Whatever, I didn’t care. Slowly we lost touch because I was the only one calling, and I got sick of it. I was done. But I was still young.

Fast forward to me being a sophomore in college. I was 20 or 21. My brother had an issue that got the police and CPS involved. My father decided to text me and ask me what was going on. I called him and told him that he had “no fucking reason to know what was going on” because he was never around. He gaslighted me into feeling bad because I cussed him out for 10 minutes. But we kept contact after that because I had thought about it and I wanted to get to know my little brother J more. We did lose contact again but then we gain it back later on.

Skip forward a couple years and I’m talking to my cousin, (another thing was he kept us from his side of the family and I had lost contact with most of them until I was an adult.) my cousin told me he was going to MY little BABY sister’s 1st birthday. My father had been talking to me for a few months at this point and NEVER mentioned I had a baby sister. He told me, “I thought your aunt posted about it. I saw it on Facebook and assumed you knew!” It doesn’t matter whether I saw it on Facebook or not. He should’ve told me. But whatever, I let that go too.

Here is where I get frustrated. I wouldn’t call for a couple weeks because I didn’t think about it. I’ve only seen him twice in the past 9 years. But he would blame me for us not talking, when he’d never call or try to talk to me. It drives me crazy when people think like that. It’s not just my responsibility and mine alone.

Skip forward to a few months ago when he brought up politics. I hated this because I’m mostly liberal/democrat and he’s 100% republican. He called liberals “libtards” and goes, “you’re not a libtard are you?” And when I tell him it’s offensive he says, “It’s just a joke!” But now we’re here and yet again it’s been 2 or 3 months since we’ve spoken because he’s blocked my number. It goes straight to voicemail and my texts aren’t going through as iMessages. I’ve decided after trying for over two months, he’s uninvited to the wedding. He’s never met my fiancé, ever. We were only inviting him to be civil. But if he can’t even speak to me, I feel it’s not my problem, and it’s one less drama issue to worry about at the wedding.

My family can believe what they want. There are so many things left out of this 15 year drama circle of my father just disappearing. And I don’t care anymore. I hope someone asks why he wasn’t invited because I know for a fact he’ll be at least telling the whole family that he wasn’t invited. And I don’t mind sending them this so they can know why.

[lost-in-the-80s]

Bloodletting part II - Prologue

Words: 1,820k

Summary: Guns n Roses are already known for being dangerous, but how dangerous would they be if they were vampires? Would it be a wiseful decision to fall for one of them?

A/N: Next week the x reader part will start! I’m making a playlist inspired by this (sorry, I just couldn’t hold myself sjdhs). I’ll be posting one part every Tuesday. Also, from now and on, tag list will be at the end of the fic :)

Some initial information: this series will take place in 2020, but without the pandemic. If you already read part 1 (which was posted last year) please ignore any pairs that the boys have had (Slash’s case), here they are all single.

Moodboards | Part I | Part III

Los Angeles, 2016.

“What the fuck died in here?” Izzy asked as he entered Axl’s victorian house in Los Angeles.

It was night outside and all the curtains were closed, putting the entire house in complete darkness. If Izzy wasn’t a vampire, he surely wouldn’t be able to see anything.

The smell of blood and something decomposing had caught his nostrils as soon as he opened the door, making him cover his nose with his hand.

“I did.” Axl’s hoarse voice came from upstairs, he wasn’t yelling, he knew his friend could hear even his breath from the floor below.

Izzy rolled his eyes, starting to climb the stairs. “Yeah, but it was almost a thousand years ago.”

Reaching the second floor, Axl was sitting on the floor, a bottle of Scotch Whisky in his hands as his shirtless figure looked at his friend.

“Shit, when was the last time you took shower?” Izzy wrinkled his nose in disgust.

The redhead shrugged. “Am fuckin tired, Iz.”

“Don’t tell me you’re in that I Hate Myself phase again.” The brunette started walking through the corridors, going in the direction of the decomposing smell that had gotten stronger.

“I fucking do! I hate what I am.”

“It’s useless to hate yourself, we already talked about it.” He stopped in front of a door, the smell was definitely coming from behind it.

“And what am I supposed to do, Isbell?”

Izzy opened the door, covering his nose one more time when he saw the dead body of a girl inside, she didn’t look older than 25 and was dead for at least a couple of hours now. A human would never be able to smell her though.

“Axl, if I know you well, and I like to think I do, this happens every time you’re alone.”

“I’m always alone, Isbell.”

“I told you to go to New York with me last year.” He closed the door, moving closer to the redhead.

“I’m not going to fucking New York.”

“And what are you going to do then? Kill yourself? You know that it’s impossible.”

“Believe me, I know.”

Izzy frowned, squatting down in front of him, a circular bruise on his chest indicated that he had shot himself there, not so long ago.

He shook his head. “When did you do it?”

“Last night.”

“How did it feel?”

“I passed out. Woke up a few minutes later and it fucking hurt, I had to take the fucking bullet out of it. Wasn’t nice.”

“At least it’s almost healed.”

“I’m fucking tired of not feeling anything. Not even this fucking whisky can make me drunk anymore.” He threw the bottle on the other side of the corridor, its glass hitting the wall and breaking in many pieces.

Izzy rubbed his forehead. “That’s it! Pack your stuff, you’re going to New York with me.”

“I’m not fucking daeing that.” He got up, entering his office and getting a cigarette in his wooden box.

“You’re becoming reckless. There’s a body in your house and at some point, someone will miss the girl. It’s not 1720 anymore, they have cameras everywhere now, it’s a matter of days until they find you.”

Axl looked at him, but didn’t say anything.

Izzy removed his blazer, placing it on a chair in front of the desk and removing his tie. “I’m gonna take care of the body, be ready when I’m back.”

---

The flight to New York was quiet, Axl was too proud to thank his friend for helping him and Izzy was in his own world, enjoying the silence in the first class while drinking some gin.

Arriving in the city around midday, they were quite a sight. Izzy in a suit with a long and expensive grey coat over it, matched with his black sunglasses and grey-black hat, while Axl wore a pair of black ripped jeans and a leather jacket, also wearing black sunglasses.

It was winter in New York, as they walked towards the uber who would drive them to Izzy’s new house in the city. A three-floor gothic construction from the XIX century, which he had sent some pictures to Axl via letters, since Axl refused to have a cell phone.

“What the fuck are you doing in New York after all?”

“Business, Axl.”

He knew that Izzy had business in many places, he always knew what to do with his money, no wonders why he was the richest vampire he knew. But the fact that Izzy changed Amsterdam for New York was still something he couldn’t justify.

“And why moving here?”

“There are some cool people around.”

“Since when dae ya care about who’s around?”

“I do feel lonely sometimes too, Axl.”

And then silence was spread in the car again.

After almost an hour, they stopped in front of a huge house, its walls were in exposed brick and the garden in front had some trees that had lost their leaves with the cold weather.

Exiting the car, Izzy stopped on the sidewalk, getting a cigarette from his pack and offering one to Axl, which he silently thanked. He lighted both cigarettes before speaking up:

“There will be some people inside, I want you to be cordial to them.”

Axl scoffed. “And since when ah umnae cordial?” He passed through Izzy, stopping in front of the front door while waiting for the brunette.

Izzy rolled his eyes, but opened the door. The house was in the same way as when he left, the smell of old books and wooden, mixed with a little alcoholic scent, along with a small hint of blood coming from the freezers in the basement.

“Hello, Izzy.” A blonde guy, smaller than them, approached the two of them, he was coming from the kitchen and there was a huge smile on his face. “You must be Axl.”

Axl looked him up and down, scanning his figure. He wore blue jeans and a red bomber jacket.

He can’t be older than 20, Axl thought to himself.

“Ya, I am.” He passed through the blonde, looking at every piece of the house. “Where’s my room, Izzy?”

“Hello, Steven.” Izzy chose to ignore the redhead, moving towards the fireplace room.

“How was your trip?”

“It was good, Steven. Thanks for asking.”

“Is he English like you and Slash? He sounds different.”

Axl averted his eyes to the blonde, with a mortal glare. “Ah umnae fucking English. I’m Scottish!”

“Oh, sorry! Well, but you are all British, so it’s almost the same thing right?” He smiled, trying to start a conversation.

“Izzy, what is this bampot talking about?” Axl started to move towards Steven, but Izzy stopped him.

“Control yourself.” He gave Axl a stern look before taking a long breath.

“You must be Axl. Nice jacket.” Another blonde showed up, he had a pack of chips in his hands and he entered the room. He was taller than the rest of them and looked like he was 21 or 22. He wore black jeans and a denim jacket on top of a grey sweater.

“Yeah.”

“I’m Duff.” He pointed to himself before throwing himself on the couch.

“The guy in the library is Slash, he’s English too.” Izzy pointed towards the library, to which Axl only nodded in understanding. “Come, I’ll show you your room.”

Picking up his suitcase, Axl followed him up the stairs, lots of old pictures of Izzy and his friends were on display on the wall, and Axl almost smiled when he saw a picture of the two of them together.

Izzy stopped at the end of the corridor, opening a door on his right side. Inside the room, the walls were in a cream color and the furniture, the floor was in the darkest shade of wood Izzy could’ve found. There was a huge bed with white sheets and a white big bathroom, with a big mirror inside. The room’s windows gave Axl a view of the front yard and the street.

“Good enough for you?” Izzy asked.

“Ya.” He placed his suitcase on the floor and sat at the edge of the bed, watching as Izzy sat on the white armchair in front of the windows.

“Why did you go after me, Iz?”

Izzy took a deep breath, inhaling the last of his smoke. “I had a dream.” He exhaled the smoke. “You were in a lake and you were drowning, and you didn’t seem to make a move to get out of there.” He paused for a second. “I thought something was wrong with you.”

Axl nodded, staying in silence for a while before speaking up again. “And who are these people?”

“I met Slash on the plane to here, we were sitting next to each other, and we obviously knew what we were. He turned out to be a nice guy, but he had nowhere to stay here, I told him he could stay with me for a while.”

“And what about the other two?”

“Duff’s the owner of a bar, not too far from here, he’s cool, introduced me to some nice music. He used to live in the apartment on top of it, but it needed some reforms, and he’s staying here ever since the reform started.”

“And when will the reform be over?”

“They finished it about 3 months ago.”

“Why is he still here then?”

“Because we’re friends, just like Steven, who’s a friend of Duff’s, he was here all the time, and then I simply decided to tell him to stay permanently.”

“Since when do you care about friends?”

“I know that you’re in a terrible mood, and that the idea of living with other people is strange for you after so many years living alone. But the thing is: we all want the same thing Axl.”

“And what’s that?”

“A family.”

Axl stared into his eyes.

“It’s the only thing we can’t have, and even though we are very different, we are a family, or a clan, or whatever. We miss having people who care for us around, and we miss the feeling of belonging to something. You’ll understand it, not today, but you will some time, and then you’ll be thankful for having these people around you.”

Izzy got up, leaving the room and closing the door behind him, leaving Axl to think about his words.

---

Turns out that Izzy was right. In the first weeks, Axl would stay on his own, only joining during their daily meal and not saying a word. But after a while, he started to loosen up. He and Duff got really along, and he made Axl see the good part of Steven's and Slash’s personality.

And now, after four years living together and being this so-called clan, they learned how to coexist with each other and ended up becoming close friends, or even brothers, Steven dared to say. And in their own weird way, they became a family.

Tag list: @roger-taylors-car @ladieswttda @teasid @metalheartofgold @slashscowboyboots @ginny-rose-sixx @rumoured-whispers @bigdaddylars @dynamitebabe @tuffduff @mitchgrassified @gamsbeans @hooloovooblue @normatural @axlsbabygirl @mudkicker @dazeduchess @izzysjujuhounds @pinkpatiencecreepers @smokeandmirrorz

Add yourself to my tag list :)

[blouisparadise]

Here are some amazing bottom Louis fics posted or completed during the month of August. We really hope you enjoy this list and that you give these fics a lot of love.

Happy reading!

1) Move Out | Explicit | 1525 words

Harry and Louis are moving in together, so they might as well make the most of Harry's apartment.

2) Take Off Your Business Suit | Explicit | 3082 words

“Yes, let me get another chair.” Louis said, leaning up off of the desk. He stood up but before he could leave the office to get another chair, Harry was grabbing his hand.

The words that came out of Harry’s mouth made Louis’ knees weak and heart beat quicken. “Just sit on my lap.” Harry said. Whatever he said afterwards didn’t make it into Louis’ ears as he was moving quickly over to Harry and placing himself on Harry’s lap.Louis would take anything Harry wanted to give him; hand touching, lap sitting, all of it.

Louis hadn't realized he was holding his breath until it came out in a quiet sigh. “Okay so th-this one will be slightly different right?” He asked as he pointed at the sheet of paper in front of him.

3) So Good, It's Making Me Drool | Explicit | 3364 words

He kept his back turned to Harry, whispering the few words he knew that would make Harry go absolutely wild. “If I’m only yours, maybe you should take me to bed and teach me who I belong to.”

4) What I Like | Explicit | 4245 words

Note: This fic has mentions of BH.

Harry gets tired of the "older women" jokes and the incessant teasing from Louis.

5) ll Belong To Your Creation | General Audiences | 4349words

Louis had always thought it was impossible to do so. Thankfully, upon doing research he learned that he still can as long as there are no complications throughout the whole pregnancy. He also stumble upon a birth vlog where a mum was able to give birth naturally even after going through c-section with her first and second pregnancy.

6) An Axolotl and the Fake Date | Explicit | 5976 words

Harry runs a stall at a farmers market every weekend and Louis comes by one day with an odd request.

7) Feels So Right | Explicit | 8804 words

The one where Louis is Troy, Harry is Gabriella, and we find out what really happened after karaoke at that ski resort...

8) Giallo! | Mature | 9776 words

Louis was a mess. A stuttery mess of weak knees and grass stains on his fresh linen clothes, his cheeks blooming a natural pink that matched his sunburnt nose. Upon his return from University, his family abandon the bustling city of London to bask in the comfort of their summer villa. With such a property came maintenance, Louis' father hired a strapping young fellow with tanned skin littered with ink and a charming smile aided by dimples in both his cheeks. Between reading, baking and painting, Louis stares at Harry, he couldn't help it. They grow close under the sun of Greece in 1989.

9) Interlude: One Night in March | Explicit | 10671 words

Note: This is a sequel to this fic.

“Said I would, didn’t I?” Harry let his hands roam over Louis’s bare back, his muscles rippling with that same frenetic energy he always had, swirling just beneath the skin, just beneath Harry’s fingers. “May come a time I’ll have to carry you again.”

Cupping the back of his head and burying his fingers in Louis’s hair, he pulled Louis back into another deep kiss, moaned a bit when Louis squeezed his chest again, harder this time, like he wanted the shirt off. But instead he drew his hand down Harry’s side and tugged at the hem, as though to say best keep this on, before he licked into Harry’s mouth, drew Harry’s tongue out to play only to pull back enough to speak.

“May come a time I’ll actually fucking let you.”

10) Hate To Smoke (Without Me) | Mature | 12164 words

Sleep. Harry just wants one good night of sleep. However, his neighbour has a thing for headboard-banging-against-the-wall-sex every night. After a secret set-up and a bet, Harry may finally get the sleep he so much desires.

11) Call You Mine | Explicit | 12755 words

“I have a request.”

That’s what Louis Tomlinson says to Harry when he opens the front door a bit too aggressively. The latter feels justified after a round of annoyingly incessant knocking that was much too loud in the drowsy sludge of early Saturday morning.

“Zayn’s asleep,” is Harry’s tired, hoarse reply, irritation prickling at his skin. Less than a minute ago he was in bed, feeling perfectly content sprawled out on the mattress with the chilled air from the fan cool against his bare skin. And now he’s leaning up against the wooden door frame in nothing but his briefs because Zayn’s best mate decided that showing up unannounced at seven in the fucking morning was a brilliant idea.

“I’m not here for him,” says Louis curtly.

12) A Vivid And Wistful Melody | Explicit | 13128 words

"Slowly, he takes his violin out of its case, listens for a few more minutes to Louis’ flute, before joining him as best as he could. The flute stops for a few seconds, and Harry imagines Louis blinking cutely, taken aback, before huffing with a smile, and starting to play again, on a suddenly far happier tune. Harry closes his eyes as he twirls around the living room, violin in hand and music filling the air. He pictures Louis doing the same in his own flat while being careful as to not step on his cat.

Somehow, even with heavy eyes and tired limbs, this is the happiest Harry has ever felt in years."

In which they are neighbours stuck at home and they happen to start talking through a wall with a piano, a violin, and a flute. They end up writing the soundtrack of their own love story.

13) Until This Blood Runs Cold | Explicit | 13685 words

In a town as small as Louis’, everybody knows everybody and gossip spreads faster than the wildfires that rage on just outside their backdoors in the sweltering heat of summer. When something happens here everyone knows about it within seconds. Neighbors call neighbors and notes are left on doorsteps, old telephone lines ringing until there isn’t a single person who is left in the unknown.

So it’s definitely hot gossip when a vampire moves in across the street from him, the very same one who’s just become Louis’ boss.

14) A Road To Hope | Explicit | 18280 words

Note: There is no explicit smut but its implied BL.

“We’re far from the people and their issues, don’t hold back. Please.”

It’s true. They are far away from anything that could stop them, the middle of nowhere being the safest place on Earth for them to fall in love. The sacred land where sacred love is created. However, Louis is certain that even if they weren’t safe, he wouldn’t resist the sight of Harry, his pleading eyes, his warm skin beneath his touch.

15) Your Eyes Of Blue, Your Kisses Too | Explicit | 21785 words

When they get out onto the streets away from the crowds Niall turns to walk backwards, “So did you get any leads?”

“Well- uh.”

Niall shakes his head, “Too busy kissing that pretty boy onstage, I see. Gonna blow the whole case for a piece of ass?”

16) Thinking About Peaches | Explicit | 23724 words

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic, which is #18 on this list.

Eight smutty drabbles following the events of bruise you like a peach.

17) Quiet People Have the Loudest Minds | Mature | 38065 words

Broadway shows were one of the few things that could keep Louis’ attention for a full two hours without needing to move about. But not tonight.

The alpha next to him was both infuriating him and practically turning him on at the same time. He needed to leave. The alpha, that is. Louis was staying.

18) Bruise You Like A Peach | Explicit | 40694 words

Note: The sequel to this fic is #16 on this list. 

There’s two reasons Harry despises Econ.

The first is that it’s boring as fuck. The second reason is a bit more personal, a bit more focused in a way. As in it’s focused on one specific thing, or in his case, person.

His name is Louis Tomlinson.

19) Falling Out Of Fashion | Explicit | 42123 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Harry Styles has been the established face of the Grimshaw House of Design for two years. It’s a prestigious and coveted modeling contract Harry took away from once-famed supermodel Zayn Malik. With the model transition Grimshaw’s designs went from a more urban, Zayn-forward aesthetic, to a Harry-favoring flowery, flowing femininity in the Grimshaw designs for men.

So when Harry sees a dress Grimshaw made for a famous Marvel actress, “only a tease”, Nick says, of the evolving look, Harry knows Grimshaw is shifting his aesthetic.

Harry wonders if he can pull off the look.

Or could Grimshaw be looking for a new face?

20) Secretly Dating | Mature | 43615 words

Lottie groaned, looming over Louis with a glare. “If we’re late, Mum and Dad will never let Harry see me – ie. see you.”

It was the first time they openly addressed the fact that Harry saw more of Louis than Lottie on their supposed ‘dates.’ He supposed he knew as much, but it still startled him. “You’ve been setting us up!”

Lottie snorted, cocking out her hip and brushing her blonde hair over her shoulder. “Honestly, Harry. You’re so dense. To be fair, it was at Louis’ request.”

Louis’ mouth gaped like a fish as he jumped to standing position, wobbling only slightly. “Don’t sell me out!”

Lottie rolled her eyes. “Come on lovebirds.”

21) You’ve Got My Devotion (Hate You Sometimes) | Mature | 95417 words

Harry was in the biggest boy band in the world. He was also one half of the best (or worst, depends on who you ask) kept secret relationship in the music industry.

Now, almost five years on, after One Direction has broken up, and Harry and Louis' relationship has as well, a video threatens to put everything at risk.

One determined Irishman, a massive publicity stunt and two begrudging exes are all it takes to bring One Direction back to life and maybe, just maybe, Harry and Louis' mangled love life too.

22) The Healing Song | Mature | 111851 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Louis was carrying the large stuffed elephant like it was a baby, it’s trunk hanging over his shoulder and down his back and it’s front legs were resting around his neck, like it was hugging him. Said elephant was a present from Louis’ close friend Steve, who had thought Louis needed something to hug on bad days and had gifted him with a stuffed elephant the size of a one year old.

Steve had been right. Some days Louis did need something to hug, and this elephant was as good as anything.

Louis was having one of the rougher days. The harmonious state of the anxiety free life of a fearless Louis had ended the week after he met with Harry. It ended as abruptly as it had started. It was like pushing a button. Lights out. Almost as if the universe said “You’ve had your fun, crazy one, now go be sick” and slammed the door in his face.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

[aerialflight]

Fic Rec (where i'm into too many fandoms rn and ships which is weird of me)

[Bleach] (been a while amiright?)

Oxytocin by Asuka Kureru (Askerian)

Ship: Grimmjow/Ichigo/Orihime

Complete trust and physical affection are great!

They're a bit less great when they were caused by weird hollow drugs.

They're even less great when the guy who was drugged up into loving the hell out of you is the same guy who tried to murder you a couple times a couple years ago.

(listen i just stumbled upon this and I have no regrets. i don't usually go for ships, let alone poly, but like, GOD, i love how everyone is characterized here, especially orihime and i just want to SCREAM OK? OK. the vibe i get from this fic reminds me of @murderlight (big fan) and if that doesn't say anything, i don't know what will.)

-

[Gintama] (i don't know how i spiralled into this fandom either, been literal years since i've even thought about this fandom, i have no regrets)

Grab Your Dreams With Your Fists While You Can Still Remember It by yatagarasu (leelhiette)

Ship: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki

Toshirou should learn to look both ways before crossing the road.

(Or he learns more about the people around him and about himself.)

(amnesia fic, and i know it's a common trope but they did it BEAUTIFULLY here. love this so much. and it's post-canon.)

I feel you by arashian155 for machinecuisine

Ship: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki

“I’m so done with this,” Gintoki muttered angrily. Zura sighed while Tatsuma laughed loudly. “Your soulmate’s getting roughed up again?” Gintoki groaned. “Worst timing ever! There was this one Amanto swinging his gigantic sword at me and I was just about to dodge it when, out of fucking nowhere, I feel something stabbing my shoulder! It threw me off and if it weren’t for that, I would have been perfectly healthy right now instead of getting nursed for this stupid wound!” he pointed at the ugly slash across his torso. “Fuck soulmates!”

A story about Sakata Gintoki's journey into embracing his soulbond, falling in love, and learning the cons of selflessness.

(THE SLOW BUILD-UP OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND THE PLOT FOLLOWS CANON AND I CAN'T STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS STUPID FIC I'M SO STUPID FOR THIS STUPID SHIP FEIWNFOPA)

-

[One Piece] (of course)

Undone by pkmntrainer_alex

After the entire family almost dies at WCI, Judge Vinsmoke orders the removal of his sons' emotional modifications in a bid to save his own skin in future endeavors. He doesn't stop to consider the ramifications of his 21-year-old sons finally, suddenly, being able to feel their human emotions in full - and their newfound ability to judge both themselves and him by their past actions.

(the vinsmoke family dynamics and the brothers trying to deal with 21 years of pent up emotions? they're trying?? so freaking hard to be functional people and they realize just how freaking amazing sanji is and that HE wasn't the failure in this family??? god, i've reread this fic so many times like an addict please read and suffer the feels with me. this is the one fic where i'm trying to patiently wait for an update. i'm just happy that this exists.)

Song of the Swords by authenticaussie

Wado is tiny when she first appears before him; her tears are as silver as her hair and the moonlight, and they gleam from within with golden fire as they pour down her cheeks.

Zoro’s heart fairly stops in his chest for a very, very long moment.

(personified swords au! introspective and fascinating and a character study of zoro and his relationship with his swords! really liked this!)

where the rims have ridges by Civillain

Everything everyone does is in their own self-interest.

"I like your hat," she calls out quietly.

And the change is instantaneous. He stops where he stands, a hand on his head and his knees still bent to take another step, and turns to look over his shoulder.

There's a moment of silence where he says nothing, just peering at her with squinted eyes, before: "Thanks!" he beams.

His smile is wide and unchecked, so wide that it might make his cheeks ache. He doesn't have laugh lines, but the way he smiles makes her imagine that he's spent his whole life grinning like that, warmly and brightly, so sincere and upfront that the breath gets punched right out her lungs.

Sometimes, there are people close to exceptions. But not quite.

20 years apart, and two people that don't make any sense.

(god, such a good outside pov look on luffy! luffy is such an unreadable character lots of times and it's so hard to pin down his characterization but this fic got it so right! made me fall for luffy all over again and realize just how incredible he is, as both a not-hero figure and main character! definitely recommend!)

those things beyond us by Civillain

There's something different about Luffy on nights like this, nights where there's soft rain and half-moons, and when the streets are quiet; no cars or trucks, only midnight joggers or early risers taking walks to the beach.

(Where Luffy and his friends have a relationship Sabo doesn't think he'll ever be able to understand.)

(honestly, i just love all of this author's one piece works. its a modern au where the straw hats are reincarnated and find each other all in sabo's pov. it's beautiful and this is how i would picture how the straw hats would fit in a modern au. nakamaship is the best ship, no questions needed. so so good!)

Magic Paint by 8ball

Luffy sticks his hands out.

“Paint mine!”

Usopp watches the expressions on Sanji’s face. He likes watching the obvious emotions go through him like a slideshow, and it's somehow comforting that he can see the exact moment Sanji decides that going along with Luffy will be the easiest choice. So Usopp waits for Sanji to test his own nails, deem them dry enough, unscrew the tiny brush top again, and then he asks if Sanji will do his, too. And because Sanji already has the brush ready, and they’re both right there anyways, Usopp knows he’s going to get what he wants.

or the au that came from nowhere where Sanji paints his nails and everyone elses and thats really it

(*screams* the pureness, the fluff, the nakamaship!! fneiwoapfe!! the best, sweetest headcanon ever! had the biggest grin on my face the whole time i was reading this! please please read!!!)

-

[Percy Jackson & the Olympians]

Stealing Shells by the Seashore by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle

Ship: Sally Jackson/Posiedon

Sally's eyes flicked between Poseidon and then the sea below. He could feel the understanding click.

"Oh, absolutely not-"

"It isn't that high!"

"Poseidon, I am not jumping off of this cliff! I'm not doing it. I won't, you can't make me, it's very high, I am not going to-"

"If my brother sees you here, he's going to assume that you're carrying my child."

"Ridiculous. I have much higher standards."

"I also have higher standards, but he isn't going to listen to us," Poseidon reasoned. The wind blew a bit harder, and Poseidon felt the sea rise with his anxiety. "I would use my powers to hide you, but he'll sense I've used them. You'll be fine," he tried, and Sally gave something of a skeptical laugh.

"Not happening."

The lightning grew closer. For the love of-

"In that case… I'm sorry," he said. Sally tilted her head suspiciously.

"Why are you-" she began but was cut off by Poseidon shoving her off the cliff's edge. He could hear a scream. It started loud and high before getting smaller and smaller. Finally, a splash followed.

Or

Sally and Poseidon spent one summer together… and most of it was them being on the run for a godly crime they didn't commit.

(THIS is the ONLY backstory i will ever accept regarding this ship for the REST OF MY LIFE. i binged this so freaking fast and i am in love with sally as much as posiedon is. percy jackson got his Everything from his mom you can't change my fucking mind. THIS FIC NEEDS MORE ATTENTION AND KUDOS! READ!!!)

Son of Sea Foam by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle

“She’ll never claim me,” he whispered. Silena shook her head, eyes wild as she looked around for anyone who could be watching.

“My mother doesn’t remember half of her children as it is,” she said with a note of bitterness. “If you do something to impress her, it won’t matter. Return the bolt in her name. She’ll claim you if you act the part. If you stay unclaimed then they'll figure out what you really are," she said, squeezing his hands tightly. Percy's heart sped up.

"I - I don't know the first thing about Aphrodite-"

"My mother was born of sea foam," Silena cut him off. "And if you're really who I think you are... you are the sea. You can pull this off," she said and touched his cheek. "Get the bolt. Survive," she said. Percy swallowed.

"What if I can't act the part?" He asked. Silena's expression went blank for a moment. Slowly, she slipped off her bracelet and placed it in his hands.

"If you're going to be one of us... you better learn."

Or

AU where Percy has to hide the fact he's a Big Three kid otherwise he'll be killed on the spot. Unfortunately for him, unclaimed kids tend to raise the most suspicion... but he might have found a loophole in the form Aphrodite.

(one of my current obsessions rn. my eyes are constantly glued on the screen because i want to devour more of this galaxy brained fic. this author just keeps on giving and i love them for it. also, SILENA IS AMAZING AND SHE'S GETTING THE ATTENTION SHE DESERVES HELL YEAH!)

-

[Haikyuu!!]

He Waits For a Miracle by ich_bin_ein_stern

Ship: Hinata/Kageyama

A minute ago, he was on the ground after he and the others were tackled by their happily weeping senpai.

They had just beat Shiratorizawa.

And now - "Kageyama-kun? Are you paying attention?" - he's trying not to freak out because he's surrounded by distantly familiar faces while wearing a school uniform he hasn't worn in almost a year.

(TIME TRAVEL TIME TRAVEL TIME TRAVEL *screams*)

-

[The Witcher] (seriously, all my rare fandoms somehow popped up this month)

the way fire holds by theundiagnosable

Ship: Geralt/Yennefer/Jaskier

“There’s a song there, somewhere, don’t you think?” Jaskier says. “‘A witcher, a sorcerer, and a human walk into a bar’…”

(ROLE REVERSAL FIC HECK YES!! Witcher!Yennefer, Mage!Jaskier, Human!Geralt is amazing omg. It all works out so damn well and the relationship between yennefer and jaskier makes me want to cry so much. Geralt is at peak himbo greatness and it's fantastic haha! Their dynamics are just *chefs kiss* so damn good.)

The Shape of You by lirulin

Ship: Geralt/Jaskier

Some people say it's old elven magic, a remnant from before the conjunction of the spheres. Other's will say it's the last fading vestiges of chaos as the modern era slowly drives all magic and wonder out of the world. Those people are, naturally, real killjoys whom Jaskier cannot envision loving anything, but that's fine. To each their own.

Soulmate Spiritual Animal AU

(you have no idea how much i laughed when reading this fic. no idea. jaskier makes me want to scream with how much of a himbo he is and geralt, for once, is not the complete idiot between these two though it's a close call, not gonna lie.)

to grow in adversity by Soulykins

Ship: Geralt/Jaskier, Renfri & Jaskier

“For you!” Julian cried, shoving a fistful of weeds in Renfri’s direction, his smile wide and carefree. Renfri carefully took them in her hands that were only shaking a little bit now, smearing red onto green stems and yellow petals.

Julian clambered into the bed beside her and crawled halfway onto her lap. “I got you flowers, ‘cause you’re so pretty like them!”

“These aren’t flowers, they’re weeds.” Renfri told him, rolling her eyes but allowing the contact with ease. Somedays it seemed like Julian was the only person in the entire castle who wasn’t afraid of her.

“They look like flowers.” He said, crinkling his nose.

“They’re dandelions,” Renfri informed her brother with a tiny smile, “They grow everywhere, even places they perhaps shouldn’t. That’s why they’re a weed.”

“Perhaps they’re a little like you,” She teased, “Growing in even the scariest of places with no fear.” Like a monster’s heart, she doesn’t say.

“Like a superpower!” Julian gasped.

Renfri separated one dandelion from the little clutch and reached out to tuck it behind a little ear. “For the stubborn hero, Jaskier.”

(this is THE fic that got me into the witcher fandom and i can't believe i never reced this before. renfri & jaskier's siblingship is so damn good and just, the amount of effort put into their backstory and relationship makes me want to cry sometimes. and yennefer, ohoho, yennefer is at her Best here, i love her in this fic and her relationship with these siblings! geralt both makes me want to punch him and hug him, which is the norm and totally understandable hahaha! seriously, one of the best witcher fics i've ever read, please please read!)

-

[Boku no Hero Academia]

Where your love has always been enough (for me) by classicequinox

Ship: Todorki Enji/Todorki Rei

It's a dark coil of anger deep in the pit of his stomach, reminding him that he was the root, the catalyst, the trigger for their family's downward spiral. It did happen - he reminds himself harshly. He can't forget that, even if time has actually reset itself.

Todoroki Enji gets a second chance. It's up to him to see what he can do with it.

(genuinely the most believable enji i've seen regarding how he deals with his past actions and trying to be better and rei being a complicated, good person who i can see matches well with enji. really well done characterization and slow building relationship that is believable to me. enji trying to change things in a meaningful, careful manner makes me want to root for him!)

Katsuki Bakugou Makes A Friend (And Also Almost Dies, But Whatever) by Sif (Rosae)

Katsuki Bakugou is eight years old, he has no idea how he got here, where he is, or who this other kid is with him, but that's not gonna stop him from being brave and tough, just like the hero he's gonna be when he's older!

The universe has other ideas, but Katsuki Bakugou is a child made of spite, hubris, determination, and way too much nitroglycerin, so the universe can take it's ideas and shove 'em. After all, nobody out-stubborns Katsuki. Nobody.

(KID BAKUGOU & KID SHIGARAKI FRIENDSHIP! BAKUGOU STOLE MY HEART! SO SMART, SUCH A HERO! I LAUGHED AND CRIED THROUGHOUT THIS FIC, MY HEART CAN'T TAKE THIS! LITTLE SHIGARAKI MAKES A FRIEND AND IT'S TOO CUTE!!! so freaking adorable, oh lord. fneiwofpweafe)

Play The Field by lalazee for Banna_Banana

Ship: Bakugou/Midoriya

Baseball and feelings, feelings and baseball. Turns out, Bakugou and Deku are both good and bad at the same things. They try to work on it.

(look, i don't even know man. i stumbled upon this baseball au fic and the characterization is so top notch!! the backstories and feelings you get from this matches bakugou and deku's canon relationship perfectly and i flew past this so fast, god. please give this a chance, it's fantastic!)

-

[Marvel]

Blips on the Record by ambivalentangst for Bean_reads_fanfic

Flash, let it be known, doesn’t like Peter. He’s too good at everything—infuriatingly so—and nobody ever calls him on his bullshit, like with AcaDec nationals. Flash has to put his all into everything he does for a fraction of the attention Peter gets for his bare minimum, and it pisses him off, to say the least, so sue him for looking for chances here and there to knock him down a peg.

However, when he notices, he shuts his entire operation down.

Maybe Peter has a decade on his age when he was in the thick of it, but Flash remembers what it was like. He gets having school be a safe place, and nobody, not even himself, is going to jeopardize that for Peter.

//

Flash Thompson’s story is not simple, Peter Parker can always use someone else in his corner, and secrets are had and protected by all.

(flash is fleshed out! flash is getting some Good Rep! flash doing his best and being grumpy but ultimately trying to help peter in what ways he could! flash being a complex character and making me love him all over again! flash! getting some actual freaking attention fewnifoapew! THANK YOU! seriously, if you're looking for an actual good flash fic that doesn't feel disingenuous, read this!)

people were mean to you, but I always thought you were cool by suzukiblu for beckyh2112

Fandoms: Avengers & X-men

“What are your feelings on the mutant threat?!” one of the reporters shouts, and Steve just looks at him.

“I think anyone threatening mutants should be stopped,” he says calmly, and the swarm of reporters explodes, a dozen camera flashes going off at once.

(not exaggerating when i say i've reread this fic so many times that it's honestly concerning. steve & cyclop's friendship here makes me so soft?? they're both leaders of their teams and steve not being what everyone expects of him is always a soft spot for me. will forever be addicted to this fic, please enjoy!)

#notmycap by missgoalie75

Fandom: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier

In which Bucky fully embraces the 21st century and is a salty bitch on Twitter.

(nonono, you don't understand. you don't understand how much i howled and screamed in public while reading this, oh my GOD. honestly the funniest shit i've read in a VERY long time, bucky is Perfect here. fucking drag that guy you beautiful cranky soul. X'D)

[living-in-the-darkness]

Date Started: 06/21/2020 3:12pm (15:12)

Date Finished: 06/21/2020 4:42pm (16:42)

Summary: This is the months after your threesome. You are pregnant and have twins. The father is determined at the end.

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Reader x Sebastian Stan

A/n: little story based off Henry's post about Father's Day. Also a continuation of my smut story. I would also like to say that none of these pictures are mine and some will not be Henry and Sebastian since I have yet to see any of them together. I would like you to imagine their faces in place of the ones that are not them. Thank you.

Two months after your three some with Henry and Sebastian, you three have been going on dates and spending time together. Now, at three months after, you discover something that will change your lives forever- you're pregnant.

You were sat on the toilet, bawling your eyes out as you made the discovery. The main thing running through your head was: "what are they going to think?" You hugged yourself while holding the tests.

You were both glad and upset that you were home alone with this discovery. Henry was doing a press tour for his new movie, currently in Boston, Massachusetts. Sebastian was filming The Falcon and The Winter Soldier which meant being far away from you. So in the house was only you and this unborn baby.

"What am I gonna do? They'll wanna know but I'm scared..." You thought aloud. "It's gotta be two to three months at this point. Perhaps a doctor's appointment would be best." You say and put a hand on your belly.

You take a deep breath and go to the room you share with Sebastian and Henry. You all moved in a month ago so you would be closer. You put the tests in one of your clothes drawers to hide it. You grabbed your phone and dialed your OBGYNs number to make an appointment. Tomorrow, at 13:30. You put the phone aside and decide to take a nap.

-------------------------------------------

Tomorrow came sooner than you would've liked. You forced yourself to get up and eat some breakfast while you scrolled through your phone. You saw a text from Henry pop up and decided to ignore it. You put your phone down after eating your breakfast and went to take a shower. You washed your h/l h/c hair and beautiful body before getting out and wrapping a towel around yourself. You went to the shared bedroom and got dressed in something suitable for a doctor's appointment especially when it came to being an actress.

You left the comfort of your home at 13:00 and drove twenty minutes to your doctor's office. Once inside you checked in and went to sit down. They called you in at 13:40, you went to a room and were told to wait.

After about twenty minutes, a nurse came in and took your vitals before handing you a urine cup. You went to the bathroom and did your best to fill it before wiping it down and bring it back putting it on the counter. The same nurse came back and took it to the lab where it was to be tested. After about an hour, your OBGYN came in and talked to you like a friend before she got the results.

"Would you like to read it or shall I?" She asks you

"You, please." You answer

"You're pregnant, Y/N." She says softly and looks at you. "Would you like to do the ultrasound today?" She asks and looks at you.

You nod as you try to hold back tears. You lay down on the bed and wait for someone to come in. You took deep and shaky breaths. Your OBGYN had someone come in with a moveable machine and did the ultrasound. You smiled at the screen before jumping and bursting into tears. You pulled down your shirt and rushed out with your stuff. Everyone looked stunned and they didn't understand why until they looked at one of the pictures it took right before you ran off.

--------------------------------------------

It was two months after the ultrasound incident before you finally went back. You laid there and tried not to cry as you watched. You had a heart monitor for the babies and heard two, strong heart beats.

"would you like to know the gender?" Your OBGYN asks you

You shake your head "no, thank you."

You leave after getting some pictures and when you arrive home, you see two extra cars in the driveway. You didn't know who it was until you saw the license plates- Henry and Sebastian were home. You parked your car and let yourself cry for a while before hiding the pictures in the glove compartment then running inside after locking the car.

You looked at the boys who had made you lunch and brought your presents. They saw your tear stained face and rushed over showering you in love and affection.

You three ate while you avoided telling them.

-------------------------------------------

A month later and you couldn't avoid telling them as Henry had found the pregnancy tests when getting you a new shirt. You had vomited all over the one you were previously wearing. He walked down holding the shirt and tests in his hands.

"Love, what is this?" He asks you softly and holds the pregnancy tests up.

You look up and gasp, deciding there's no way out you respond: "Henry, I should've have to explain to you what w pregnancy test is."

"No, No. I'm asking because there's- are you...?" He motions to your belly which had grown a little bit.

You had tears in your eyes and you bite your lip. You get up and go to find Sebastian who was currently working on some lines. You told him to come into the kitchen and take the seat you had gotten up from.

Henry showed Sebastian the tests and he asked the same as Henry: "are you...?"

You take a deep breath "With twins."

Henry and Sebastian looked upset but also very happy.

"Yes!" Henry says and rushes over picking you up and twirling you gently. He knew there was a possibility that he wasn't the father but he would be there no matter what. He already made that promise to himself.

Sebastian stood there for a moment before it registered, you were pregnant with twins that could or could not be his. He rushes over and gave both you and Henry a big hug.

You were so happy and relieved to see how excited they were. You hugged them back and kissed both their cheeks.

"Do you know the genders?" Henry asks looking down at you.

You shake your head "No, I don't. I wanted to wait for you guys. I have pictures from the ultrasounds in the car."

Henry nearly ripped the keys from the hanger and ran outside rummaging through your car to find them. He was like an excited puppy. He ran back in and showed them to Sebastian. "Our kids!" He shouts excitedly.

"Our babies." Sebastian agrees and smiles at the pictures as tears welled up in his eyes.

--------------------------------------------------

You, Henry, and Sebastian decided to announce your pregnancy at Henry's birthday party you threw at home. You also made a cake for when the genders would be announced. The only person who knew the genders were your sister and the baker.

All through the party Henry and Sebastian would not stop asking your sister when they could cut open the cake. Finally your sister had enough and decided to let you three cut the cake when Henry cut his.

You found out that the babies were a girl and a boy when you cut the cake open. Henry and Sebastian were hugging you and kissing all over your face.

Soon the party was coming to a close so only the immediate family was around.

Henry's mom walks over to you and smiles at you. "Congratulations, Y/N. Have you thought of any names?"

You smile and nod "thank you Mrs. Cavill. We have in fact. The girl is to be named g/n Cavill-Stan. And the boy is to be named b/n Cavill-Stan." You answer with a smile.

Henry's mother nods and smiles at you giving you a hug. "Thank you for including my boy despite the circumstances." She says and lets go of you.

You nod and smile "He's as much as a father to them as Sebastian is. They're both the father even if only one is biologically." You respond in a soft voice.

Henry's mom gives you another hug and rubs your back. She lets go and goes to find her sons.

After the party is done, you three go to bed with big smiles on your faces.

---------------------------------------------

After another three months, making you a full nine. You give birth to two bouncing babies. They were swabbed for DNA as we're Henry and Sebastian.

-----------------------------------------------

It was another month later that you got the results. You were nervous to open it with them as Henry held g/n and Sebastian held b/n. You slowly tore the envelope open and pulled out the paper. You opened it just as slowly and took a deep breath before reading it in your head.

After reading it twice, you smiled widely.

"What? What does it say?" Sebastian asks trying to look at it but you wouldn't let him.

"Come on, Y/N.... Please show us... Tell us..." Henry looked nervous ready to hear he was the father of neither.

"DNA shows that Henry Cavill is the father of g/n and b/n." You said pausing and looking at Henry who was smiling widely before his face drops and looks at Sebastian who had tears in his eyes.

"w-what about me?" Sebastian asks ready to hear he wasn't the father of either.

"DNA shows that Sebastian Stan is the father of b/n and g/n." You looked at him with a big smile. "it goes on to say that it's rare and the babies may have problems when they grow up but, yes, you both are the father." You add after looking between them both.

Henry and Sebastian hug each other with the babies then hug you. Tears streaming down all your faces.

-----------------------------------------------

A/n: I hope y'all enjoyed.

[anitacoknow]

I'm feeling my emotions pretty hard today (June 14th, 2021), so it might be a good idea to start writing.

Trigger Warning:

This text post mentions suicide, death, abortion, and could be an uneasy read.

About two months ago, I almost died during a routine abortion. The way that sounds, my stomach turns and it makes the tears fall like a monsoon. Nothing about getting an abortion is easy, it is humiliating and it's a huge personal hurdle to deal with - my heart goes out to any woman who has been in that tough position. That being said, I'm not writing this for sympathy nor am I looking for negative comments or death threats, I put myself through that enough already with my own mental.

Starting this attempt to release my emotions is difficult because I'm not even sure what to say to myself. I guess I am also hopeful someone will have the right words through experience or just in general because I'm struggling to find the words within myself.

To begin, I can't have children anymore and that is the worst part; I made a decision that took future decisions, future generations, future plans away from me. So, to anyone who wanted to go in on me at the sight of the word abortion: fate ironically beat you to the punch.

I made a decision that my heart wasn't wholly in and it almost cost me my life and it cost my daughter's life (I don't need scientific fact proving she was just a clump of cells and hadn't begun processing pain or emotion or whatever, doesn't change shit as far as empathy goes, so please shove it).

Her birth name was to be Juniper.

To give some insight, Washington State allows abortions up to 28 weeks. For those who aren't aware of pregnancy cycles/trimesters, 28 weeks is still half way through the pregnancy and the beginning of the second trimester. The fetus during this stage has become more human like and all that science stuff. I had my abortion at 21 weeks, in a clinic and the process shouldn't have gone the way it did.

On the second day of my procedure, I was put under anesthesia and when I woke up I wasn't all there. Before this, I had never experienced being put under anesthesia to my recollection, so what I thought I was feeling was normal. It wasn't until I realized I had been losing conciousness that things started to feel unnatural. I was laid on the floor of the "recovery room" and I started to regain conciousness fast. There was a lot of blood between my legs and mentioning it to them seemed to make the blood pool more. It wasn't long after that the doctor that performed the procedure squated next to me to tell me she needed to put me back under.

For the next bit, I apologize to the squeamish.

There was another woman in the room with me who had just come out of her own anesthesia, she was ironically a CNA, who started to show signs of worry when I wasn't making the anticipated recovery. The doctor had her removed from the room and leaned back in to tell me that they couldn't locate the fetal head and a few limbs. When they attempted to have me walk back to the room, I fainted and was placed back on the floor. The nurses wheeled me into the surgical room and helped me back on to the table, to which I protested them allowing me to see my ride. I'm hesitant to mention the father in this because it is sensitive, so I apologize for how he is mentioned in further comments. It wasn't until I saw him that things started to blur and I started losing conciousness again.

I feel it is also important to explain what I felt, which was extremely cold. My nipples were harder than they had ever been and despite the numerous blankets, warmed and otherwise, that were placed on me, my body didn't feel warmth until the EMTs carted me to the ambulance and the sun touched me; and again when I was placed on the surgical table at the hospital. Mentally, I don't think I was aware of anything bad happening to my body. Even after hearing they lost the fetal head, I don't think I ever reacted. If I had to say, I was mentally blissful - which isn't something I have ever experienced. I literally couldn't care less, everything was a joke (which is also part of my personality when dealing with assumed stressful situations) to me up until I arrived at the ER and they put me under before telling me that they might have to remove my whole uterus. My last words would have been: "oh, this table is so warm!" to the doctor who saved my life. When I woke up 24 hours later, there was a tube in my throat and I was tied to the bed (which Hollywood doesn't show in movies or T.V. so when you are experiencing it, it is really scary and it fucking hurts.) in ICU.

So, what the fuck happened?

Well, my uterus at the time of the abortion was about 2 pounds heavy and 2 feet long; Juniper was about the size of a sweet potato to give you an image. During the abortion, the doctor perforated my uterus, the length of the tear was about a foot long according to my surgeon/aftercare doctor. The abortion itself was supposedly no more than 10 minutes, but I was apparently under for roughly an hour. My ride expected me out in two hours, but after speaking to him, started to worry when I hadn't responded to texts and the elapsed time came to four hours. During the removal of the fetus, after perforation had occurred, I laid there internally bleeding for several hours. The human body can hold minimum 5 litres of blood (or to give you an physical idea, a gallon [US] of milk about) depending on the size of the body and health. A human can die from losing 2 litres of blood, but I survived after losing 4 litres internally, which is probably what saved my life. I vaguely remember being lifted on to the gurney and I vaguely remember the ride to the ER. I was given 7 units of blood, my uterus was stitched in 8 layers and the fetal head had nestled itself behind my kidney, so I had an emergency cesarean, plus a JP drain placed to remove all the blood that pooled in my abdomen.

The hospital experience itself is a different story and makes the whole ordeal just as sad. The only solace I had were two nurses that really didn't judge me, outside of that, everyone there had an opinion and wore it on their face and in their treatment. My last interaction with one of the doctors who helped performed my "miraculous" surgery and was probably the most surprising bit because it included a little racism. My partner is white and he is cisgender. Before his appearance, said doctor largely made fun of my pain tolerance when removing surgical tape from my incision area and inner thighs. If you haven't had a cesarean or don't know exactly what it is, after making the initial incision, the doctors have to literally tear the muscles apart to get to your uterus. In my case, I also had to have my intestines removed to get to my kidneys. Needless to say, my midsection was very sensitive outside of my low pain threshold. During the stint, he very angrily asked me if I wanted to remove the bandage myself while showing his frustration in his whole body and face. At that point, I just said fuck it and let him tear the bandage from my body with a little skin along with it. After a quick look, he stood up and asked if I cared if he left to deliver a baby and he didn't wait for a response, I assume because my face probably said exactly what he wanted. I sat there and cried until my partner got there and when he showed face again, his bedside manner gave me whiplash. He released us after I made a large fuss about my care and I left holding back tears until we were out of sight of the hospital.

The day before I almost died, I sat with the owner of the clinic who also doubles as a nurse there, and cried to her about my fear and the little consolation I had because she was kind. I have had two previous abortions during a previous marriage that I also didn't want to have, but being in an abusive relationship, you give and take a lot, that included. I confided in her that those two experiences, both at Planned Parenthood, were riddled in racist bedside manner and left me uneasy about abortions and clinics in general. Being a woman of color herself, she cried with me and assured me that things would be fine, in fact the woman doing my abortion would also be a woman of color. She called me two days later, I could hear her sadness, but it also left me in such a state of panic that I ended the conversation without saying much.

Women of color do not have great mortality rates when it comes to medical intervention, especially during pregnancies/child birth. However, uterus perforation during an abortion only occurs at a rate of .3%, so I'm part of a medical anomaly (it isn't an anomaly at all, she just fucked up). Beyond that, women of color, specifically black women are more likely to suffer from medical racism during aftercare. One of the biggest glaring problems being that black women are percieved to have a high pain threshold, something a lot of people lack.

Since this experience, which is missing a lot of detail, I've gone in an out of depressive mania. Which, to say the least, I can handle because I've dealt with it for years. What I can't handle are commercials, or even cherub faces in person, or the fact that my step-sister announced her pregnancy to our parents on mother's day. I can't handle the notifications of memories from my pictures that spotlight some of the photos I took during my pregnancy. I can't handle that my neighbors had just moved in and had just given birth right before being released from the hospital. Movie montages about children growing up making lumps swell in my throat. For the first few weeks I would wake up screaming, or crying, or begging whoever not to take my baby from me. I tried to cope with sex that I couldn't realistically have because I was healing. I took up smoking cigarettes again because it is the only thing I could physically feel relax my incision area. My daughter, who is 9 years old, asks me how I'm doing when I don't realize I'm zoned out and crying.

Overall, I wish they would have let me die. It isn't like I haven't tried to kill myself before and I always secretly hoped I'd find a way to just go peacefully. Of all my attempts at suicide, the most serious was drinking bleach and all I got from that was minor chemical burn in my esophagus.

Sitting there during my last follow up, knowing damn well I wasn't going to get good news, I asked the doctor who saved my uterus and life if I could safely get pregnant. I was told by another I could have a child, but it would most likely be harrowing because my uterus wouldn't be able to house a full term fetus and they would most like be born premature. There was also another possibility she kept from me, which my doctor with a penchant for being very frank said: "would end up taking my uterus or almost killing me."

Word for word: if I get pregnant, my uterus would rupture at the healed incision.

And what, what am I supposed to think or feel now that my worst fear finally materialized? I'm realistically mad at myself for materializing my greatest fear. I also hate myself for being so upset at something I caused because I know others are in my situation for reasons beyond their control.

I thought writing this would make me feel better, would make it so I wouldn't have to mentally relive it, but I just feel worse. My partner lost his job because he took a leave of absence to take care of me and that's to say nothing of him taking time off at the beginning of the year because he needed brain surgery. The job I had interviewed for earlier in the week kept my position open, but on returning to work found I couldn't keep my anxiety to a minimum and eventually asked for leave of absence. So now, we are struggling financially and I blame myself for that too, which I know I shouldn't.

I can't begin to explain how unsure and confused I feel every day. Some times I find myself pacing or walking around and I don't even know what I'm doing. Hearing or seeing emergency vehicles makes me panic. I've had to force myself to look down during driving because I'm so fucking scared.

Idk, I'm sorry to whoever is reading this. I just needed to vent.

[ohnobjyx]

Don’t you think that the dates and hours are sometimes too far fetched? Like they can posting at any time and people will be like it means he loves Zhan? I mean no hate but how do we know when he post without paying attention to when he is when whenever he post something it has a signification?

Hi, anon! I remembered your asks, since it’s related to what has happened lately with the supposed kadian from dd’s and yibo official’s account. I leave a link here to a related post in case you haven’t seen it already.

Disclaimer: fake fake fake.

(I talk in this post about dd because that was what anon was asking about, but ofc gg uses kadian too, though less often).

This comes from that post about dd saying that he’d pay attention to dates and times and give surprises to his partner in that TTXS episode. Let’s first notice that “times“ it’s an awfully specific detail to pay attention to. If he had just said “dates” no one would think twice about it, but he specifically added “times” to the equation.

Well, the fact is that we have all noticed that dd uses kadian. He doesn’t just use it for gg, in a recent post he also used kadian (18:21) refering to his longtime favourite Rossi and he used kadian to promote his good friend YZ’s new drama not so long ago (a BL drama, in case anyone is curious).

In this case it’s very telling that he edited the post 2 times. He doesn’t usually do that, he usually just deletes and posts again, but in this case he probably wanted to keep the kadian, so he edited it again.

Tonight at 8 PM, please support the no.9 Yamaha racer! (+the drama tag, promotional phrase, etc.)

He used kadian at 16:09 to refer to YZ’s number in motorcycle races. But he forgot to add that bit in the first post, so he edited it.

So all in all, he does use kadian. Here is a very helpful post. 

As I mentioned in the post up there, I think a kadian (if it’s such) it’s relevant if:

The content is related to gg (like the ice cream video, or the colgate ad with the “how can you achieve the most beautiful smile?” or the black sneakers photo).The most famous one is that chat they had when they used kadian in 3 consecutive posts, and gg missed his by a minute, so he answered with a sad meme (I can’t find those pictures, if anyone could link them I’d be very grateful).

It’s obvious that it was deliberately posted at that time. An example for this is the post on 190704 13:10, when he uploaded a promotional post for Let’s Sacalaca. From a logical perspective, if you’re told to promote the episode you appear in, you’d promote it before it’s aired, so your fans will know that you’re in it and watch it. The episode was aired at 12:00. He posted an hour later, when the episode was almost finishing: in that episode, he drew a heart on the sea with the jet ski. So there are many things that made bxg think that the kadian was intentional.

He posted the next promotional post at 12:03 (a week later, in the 3rd episode). He was almost on time. I twas just such a coincidence that he was late by 3 minutes and that that episode was also filled with winks to yizhan.

It’s a response to a post where gg has used kadian. Gg updated w/ibo on 200605 with a kadian 13:28 and a post that mirrors those from 2017, when dd posted a “response” to one of gg’s post (they haven’t met each other yet, besides the ttxs episode where they saw each other for the first time).

Dd, that day, updated at 16:03, an ad for one of his endorsements. Some fans got the data (I think from an app, I don’t know where they got it from) that dd had been online that day from 16:00 to 16:02 (implying that he had scheduled the post, because he was offline before 16:03). It can be a coincidence (like the post uploaded the second 16:02 turned into 16:03), but well... when it’s a coincidence after another one must start doubting about whether they were coincidences.

Of course, anon, besides the actual conversation these two had with the kadian, you could deem all of these as coincidences. And I wouldn’t blame you. Kadian is one of the most difficult candies to pinpoint, especially if you don’t speak Chinese, and it doesn’t help that some fans (I did a couple of times too) over analyze it, seeing kadian everywhere (”if you actually take the 1and the 2 and add them up, then it becomes 3, so it’s a message for gg!” please don’t, guys, I don’t think they’d use kadian that requires operating to get to the desired result).

However, you have to keep in mind that they can choose at what time to post. I haven’t seen how, but it’s mostly accepted that they can schedule their posts, like you can with tumblr posts. And also, that they can delete and post again if they noticed the discussion about their post and it bothered them. But as sometimes dd has done, sometimes he’s so keen on keeping the kadian that he rather edits the post, instead of reposting as he usually does when there’s no significance in the time (that’s why fans usually pay a lot of attention to posts he has edited). 

I hope I’ve helped you with this, anon!

[all-the-kpop-imagines]

WayV Reaction: Their Significant Other Is Older Than Them and Is Insecure About It

GOOD MORNING/AFTERNOON/EVENING! It’s Admin Jihyeon here! This is not a request from one of you but rather a request from Admin Jia. Considering both of us are older than five of the members........hope you enjoy!

A fan made comments on a recent Instagram post about y/n’s age and you are now feeling insecure and anxious for being older than your boyfriend. (you are only like 3 years older than them.) Your boyfriend and you  are hanging out and he sees you upset and asks you why.

Kun

As Kun walked into your apartment he immediately noticed the quiet. Normally there was some sort of sound playing. He narrowed his eyes and set the take out on the counter before he decided to go find you. “y/n? You here? I brought your favorite take out, extra sauce this time. I didn’t forget.” He waited a moment as he walked to the living room. When you didn’t answer he sighed and made his way up the stairs to your loft. “I know you’re here y/n, you texted me 20 minutes ago that you were here.” He said as he climbed. When he reached the loft he frowned upon seeing your curled up figure laying on your bed, the occasional sniffle sounding. “y/n, is everything okay? Why are you crying?” He asked as he climbed onto your bed behind you. You refused to turn around, feeling anxious. You had been scrolling on Instagram and saw the comments on the photo Kun had posted to his profile of the two of you. “It’s nothing.” You mumbled and wiped your eye. “I don’t believe you.” He commented and you sighed before turning around on your back. “The fans are just at it again.” You told him and he frowned again. “Really? I’ve told them to be nicer about us being together and that you make me happy.” He told you and you looked at your hands. “Does it bother you that I’m 3 years older than you?” You asked him after a few moments, not looking up from your hands. “Why would it?” He asked you as he reached out to grab your hands. “I don’t know. You’re 24, I’m 27.” You muttered. “And? It doesn’t matter to me that you’re older than me, I still love you. You make me laugh and are there when I vent about things that stress me out. Age is just a number y/n.” He smiled at you. “The fans seem to have an issue with it.” “Well the fans are not the ones in our relationship.” He told you with a smile. “You’re right.” You smiled back. “Okay, let’s go eat before the food gets cold.” He said as he stood up and held a hand out to you. 

Ten

Music played over the speakers as you sat on the floor against the wall. Ten was practicing a routine and you sitting in the practice room with him was the only time you had to be together because of your schedules. A sigh left your chest as you shifted in your seat, pulling your phone out and going to Instagram. You smiled when you saw the notification that Ten had posted a picture of the two of you and Louis. But the smile soon fell as you glanced at the comments. More than one of them were about how much older than Ten you looked and how he should be with someone closer to his age. It got worse the further you scrolled and soon enough you felt a tear fall down your cheek. You were so caught up in the comments that you hadn’t heard the music stop nor had you heard your boyfriend calling your name. It was only when he was knelt in front of you with his hand on your arm did you look up. “Why are you crying?” He asked and you sighed. “Remind me to never go to the comment section of anything ever.” You handed your phone to him. He looked at the screen and sighed before sitting down. “In your defense, I took the picture at like 11pm after we both had long days at work. You also had taken off your makeup AND were in pajamas.” He chuckled and looked up at you. “Does it bother you? That I’m older?” You asked and he scoffed with a chuckle. “No. I like it. We can have more intellectual conversations that I would if I were with someone younger than me.” He smiled and reached forward to pull you into his lap. “To be honest, I forget you’re older than me most of the time.” He chuckled again and rubbed your arms.

WinWin

You walked into your apartment, laughing with WinWin as the two of you took off your shoes and made your way further into the apartment. “I’ll be right back.” He told you before he disappeared down the hallway. You smiled and leaned against the counter. It had been a long day at work for the two of you and all you wanted was to watch a movie and relax with your boyfriend. You made your way over to your couch and sat down, pulling your phone out and going to Instagram like you do every day. As you scrolled, you saw a recent post that WinWin had posted. A smile formed on your face at the candid picture he had taken without your knowledge. You went to scroll away but your attention was caught by the top comment, one attacking you and how you are older than him. A sigh left your chest as you clicked on the comments and continued to read, each comment agreeing with the first and some getting worse.After a few minutes you wiped your eye and set your phone down, pulling your knees to your chest. Winwin walked back out into the living area and smiled at you. “What movie do we wanna watch tonight?” He asked as he sat down beside you and wrapped his arm around you. “Am I too old for you?” You asked and he raised an eyebrow at you. “No...why?” He asked and you sighed. “Because your fans seem to think I am.” Another sigh left you and you looked at your hands. “Where did you see this? Wayzenni’s don’t know how old you are.” He said and you shrugged. “Check your insta.” You said and he immediately pulled out his phone. As he looked through the comments his face fell. “Look, I know you’re older than me but I don’t care. You make me happy and that’s all that matters okay?” He asked as he pulled you into his side. “Now, pick a movie y/n. Comedy perhaps?”

Lucas

You sat on Lucas’ bed at the WayV dorm, blanket pulled up to your nose with one hand as your other held your phone, scrolling through the comment section of Lucas’ newest Instagram post. A lot of the comments were about how you were older than Lucas. When you two first started dating, that was something that you were nervous about. Now, months into your relationship you had come to love it. But seeing the comments brought back all the fears you once had, leading to tears falling down your cheeks. The door to the room opened and you jumped slightly, tossing your phone down and curling up in the bed. “I tried my best, but all I could get my hands on was toast and jelly. I hope that-” Lucas paused as he set the plate down and looked at you. “You okay?” He asked and when you didn’t answer, he glanced at your phone next to you, screen still on and showing the comments. He carefully picked up the phone and sat down as he read the comments. He sighed before glancing at you. “Hey, what internet trolls say doesn’t matter okay? I don’t care about the age difference.” He told you as he rubbed your arm. “But your fans do.” You spoke quietly. “And your fans are important.” “They are, yes, but to me the only ones that i consider real fans are the ones who support all of us in whatever we do.” He told you and smiled. “How did they even find out my age? I’m not a celebrity and my social media is all private.” You mumbled and rolled onto your side. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” He said as he laid beside you.

Xiaojun

Worry was etched onto Xiaojun’s face as he walked up the stairs to your apartment. He hadn’t heard from you over the last few days. He would have come sooner but  his schedule didn’t allow him. But now he has time and he was going to see what was going on. As he entered your apartment, he raised an eyebrow. It was dark and there was a movie playing on the TV but he didn’t see you. He slipped off his shoes and closed the door quietly as he looked around. Then he heard footsteps coming down the stairs and he walked over to you. “Hey.” He started and you blinked at him before looking at the floor. “Why are you here Xiao?” You asked as you pushed past him to sit on the couch. “You haven’t been answering my texts or phone calls. I was worried. Is everything okay?” He asked and you swallowed. “Everything is fine.” You mumbled. “I don’t believe you.” He told you as he sat down and grabbed your hand. “It doesn’t matter.” You said and he scoffed. “Whatever it is, it’s upsetting you. Did I do something?” He asked and you sighed. “Yeah, you posted that picture of us on your Instagram.” You blurted and he furrowed his eyebrows. “I posted a picture? That’s why you’re upset? I can take it down if you want.” He said, trying to make you feel better. “Deleting the post isn’t going to erase the comments I’ve read from my mind.” You finally admitted and he blinked. “What are the comments saying?” “That I am too old for you. Do you think I’m too old for you?” You asked and he chuckled. “You’re like 3 years older than me. I like to forget that fact because I know you struggle with it so I just want to make it seem like we don’t care about age.” He shrugged and you stared at him before a smile cracked on your face. “I guess 24 isn’t a bad age.” You shrugged.

Hendery

Walking hand in hand, Hendery smiled behind his mask. Finally the two of you were going on a date and he was more than excited for it. You’d only been dating for a few months now but he was sure you were the one. As you walked into a cafe, he led you to a table before going to get the coffee. When he reached the table, he took one glance at you and he furrowed his eyebrows. “What’s going on?” He asked before sitting down and staring at your now tear stained face. “Does me being older than you bother you at all?” You asked him quietly and he stared at you. “Why would it?” He asked. “I don’t know. It kind of makes sense that it would. You’re only 21, I’m 24. You are young and have your whole career ahead of you.” You pouted and set your phone down. “And you do too? 3 years is basically nothing y/n. Where is this coming from?” He asked you and you sighed. “Just comments on a post on Instagram.” You shrugged and he pushed your coffee over by you. “Well, the way I see it is that I am happy, you are happy, we enjoy one another’s company, and we support each other. Age shouldn’t be a factor, unless you were underage, then we’d have a problem.” He smiled at you and you let your face relax. He always knew what to say to make you feel better.

YangYang

You sat on his bed, quietly scrolling through Instagram as he and Xiaojun played yet another video game. The two had been at it for hours now. Not that you minded all that much, just being able to be near YangYang was enough for you. With your schedules being so demanding, any second you could be with him was plenty. But that content feeling quickly dissipated as you glanced at the comments on a recent post of his. A lot of the comments were targeted toward you and how you are so much older than him, some even trying to guess your age and being incredibly wrong. After a few minutes of scrolling, you set your phone down and pulled your knees to your chest to hide your face. But it didn’t work because YangYang turned around to ask you a question and the second he saw your position, he set the controller down and walked over by you, Xiaojun taking a glance before leaving to get a snack. “y/n? What’s wrong?” He asked and you sighed. “Do I really look that much older than you?” You asked and he sat down in front of you. “What do you mean? You look like y/n.” He smiled and you rolled your eyes. “Your fans seem to think I’m in my 30s.” You sighed and he let out a laugh. “You’re not though. You’re 23. Barely older than me.” He shrugged. “Does it bother you though?” You asked and he shook his head. “Nope. Does it bother you?” He asked back and you smiled. “No, I can use the elder card on you.” You said and he nodded. “Exactly. Now come on old lady, let’s go get a snack.” He held his hand out to you.

[bottomlouisficfest]

The first half of the Bottom Louis Fic Fest is complete! We posted 21 fics in the first month and we know it was a lot to keep up with, so we wanted to compile them all so you can make sure you’ve read every single one of these incredible fics. Please give all of these fics a chance and be sure to give the authors kudos, reblogs, retweets, and comments so they know how appreciated they are. And look out for even more amazing fics coming up!

Note: You can find the part 2 masterpost of the 2019 BLFF fics here.

Now That This Old World Is Ending

A fic by daggerinrose on AO3 | @thetommmo on Tumblr | @real_thetommmo on Twitter

49k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Needing a good distraction from his broken heart, Louis Tomlinson goes on a camping trip with his friends to Northern England. However, a different kind of distraction arises when his friends disappear from their camp. Hellbent on finding them, Louis soon discovers that the area has been taken over by a cult and teams up with a resentful archer with fire in his eyes and blood on his hands.

Far Cry inspired AU.

Listen To Your Heart

A fic by lovelarry10 on AO3 | @chloehl10 on Tumblr | @oneolddirection on Twitter

35k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post  | Twitter post

Louis has always been comfortable being Harry’s one and only. When Harry starts to branch out, Louis has a hard time letting him go.

Harry is very lucky to have someone who listens to what he has to say, despite the fact that he’s deaf. He’s finally feeling like he’s coming into himself, but Louis seems bothered by his newfound confidence.

You'll Find Me (in the region of the summer stars)

A fic by sweetmelodrama on AO3 | @peakmelodrama on Tumblr | @peakmelodrama on Twitter

50k | Mature | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Niall had never been exactly perfect at choosing young boys to become the next hero of Olympus, but there was just something in Harry that told Niall that this boy was going to be changing things around Mt. Olympus forever.

Or the one where they're all greek gods except for Harry, who thanks to Niall has to defeat everything from sirens to giants to dragons in order to survive. What Harry doesn't know is what could be waiting for him at the end of his quest -anything from nymphs to dryads... or even a certain soulmate omega.

the world is vast

A fic by Harryskiwiposes on AO3 | @hadtobelou on Tumblr

26k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

“I hate this. I fucking hate this so fucking much.” Harry began to cry. “She was only 17 for fuck’s sake. She had her whole life ahead of her! She should be researching colleges and skipping school to hang out at the mall. She should be playing with her little brothers and helping her mother in the kitchen with dinner. This is bullshit! Complete bullshit! I thought I could do this, I thought…”

He didn’t finish his sentence. Instead he kicked the brick wall before collapsing against it, his head back, rain beating against his face, mixing with his tears.

They stood in silence for a few moments before Harry looked to Louis. He saw the same sadness and sorrow as the night before. He felt the same connection, the same feeling that he and Louis were alike - both broken looking to belong.

Or - The Killing Au

Pour Decisions

A fic by hazzahtomlinson on AO3 | @watermelonwalls on Tumblr

12k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Prompt 80: AU where drunk!Louis fills out a fake job application for hot boss Harry Styles, including lurid details about his ‘desired position’ and ‘qualifications,’ and accidentally submits that instead of the real one.

Bloom

A fic by bitter_leaf on AO3 | @bitter-leaf on Tumblr

24k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Harry tucks the flower into the top pocket of Louis’ jacket, patting over his heart just once.

“What is it?” Louis asks, eyeing the sunny little yellow flower, a bit like a buttercup, “It’s lovely.”

Harry pushes a piece of hair behind his ear and smiles, “It’s a primrose. I got them in this morning, reminded me of you.”

When they first meet at Harry’s flower truck, Harry falls hard but Louis’ unavailable. Only before long, Harry reignites a spark that Louis thought long forgotten.

sweeter still when we're alone

A fic by louisjewels on AO3 | @louizsv on Tumblr | @perfecltnow on Twitter

20k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Louis is looking up at him, eyes glazed over and fucked out. His hair is a mess and Harry truly feels like he’s fallen under Louis’ spell.

“That’s right, you little witch,” he groans. He grabs the back of Louis’ hair and pulls it so that his head is tilted so far back that they’re barely centimetres apart, breathing in the same air. Harry closes his eyes and moves closer.

Nobody ever tells you that love potions taste like cherries.

Ours are the moments I play in the dark

A fic by edensrose on AO3 | @holdingthornsandroses on Tumblr | @thetrashpigeon on Twitter

30k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Jane Austen's Persuasion AU. Nine years ago Louis Tomlinson was persuaded to break off his engagement to Harry Styles, a poor sailor. Since then Louis has come to regret being so easily convinced to give up his one chance of happiness. Now Louis' family is in debt and his childhood home is being sold. In a complete reversal of fortune, Harry has returned to England a wealthy bachelor looking to settle down. Events conspire to bring them together once more though Louis is- must surely be- the last man on earth that Captain Styles would think of now.

Warming Up To You

A fic by youreyesonlarry on AO3 | @youreyesonlarry on Tumblr | @youreyesonlarry on Twitter

56k | Mature | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

“I feel you,” Harry nods along as he zips his bag open, carefully pulling out his fancy looking camera before pressing a button to turn it on. “I love taking pictures for a number of reasons, but I think the best part of the whole thing is that I’m able to go through my older pictures and have all these memories from those moments come back to me.”

He puts the camera against his eye and points at Louis, and before the shorter one can even react, he hears a ‘click’, and Harry’s smiling down at the screen of his camera.

“And I don't think I want to forget about the day I got stranded in a cabin with a pretty stranger,” he finishes off.

The Time is Now for Me and You

A fic by grimouis on AO3 | @ratherhear on Tumblr | @grimouis on Twitter

9k | Explicit | Louis/Liam | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Louis inhales shakily and then buries his face into the crook of Liam’s neck and cries. Liam just holds him close, keeping his hand moving lightly along Louis’ spine to let him know that he’s here and that he will be alright, despite Liam not knowing what’s going on.

It doesn’t take longer than a few minutes of crying before Louis extracts himself from Liam’s embrace, seemingly having collected himself enough to not break down again.

“Do you wanna tell me what all this is about?” Liam asks gently, keeping a gentle hand on Louis’ arm.

“We broke up.”

or; Liam is a weenie and Louis is a mess.

Ready To Fall

A fic by whoknows on AO3 | @crazyupsetter on Tumblr

21k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

“Ninety and rising,” Nick says triumphantly, as though making Harry’s heartbeat pick up by thrusting an obscenely attractive person in front of his face is any kind of success. “Louis Tomlinson has just walked into our control room and suddenly our dear Harry Styles has lost all ability to speak. Could this be some kind of strange coincidence?”

“I hate you,” Harry hisses, forcing his eyes back into Nick’s direction, uncaring that the mic must have picked it up. “I thought we agreed that you were going to play fair.”

“I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Nick denies, except he’s holding up a picture of Louis’ face now, sharp cheekbones prominent, soft lashes nearly sweeping against his cheeks as he looks down, and his fucking mouth –

“A hundred and two!” Nick crows, all but clapping his hands together in glee. “The highest it’s ever been!”

“To be fair, I did bend over the desk on purpose,” Louis’ voice comes crackling in the headphones. Harry practically breaks his neck whipping his head around at the sound of it, gaping at him through the glass panel. “You can’t really blame him for getting a little excited about that, can you?”

Just a Little Taste

A fic by amomentoflove on AO3 | @daggerandrose​ on Tumblr | @dagger_rosefics on Twitter

13k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Louis works at The Blind Bat as a bartender during one of the busier times of the night. Typically, there’s one bartender on duty, his best mate Niall Horan, but Louis steps in to help with the demand. There’s always someone who needs a drink, a menu, or something to replenish their energy. He also has to look out of the humans who willingly allow vampires to feed on them. He’s quite protective of the regulars who come to get their kicks with a quick drink and a bite. A vampire’s bite, and the rush of endorphins that come with it, can be addicting. He should know.

Should Be, Meant To Be

A fic by thecheshirepussycat on AO3 | @the-cheshire-pussy-cat on Tumblr

9k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Prompt #65: Louis signs up for a Sugar Daddy dating website on a drunken dare. He forgets for a while, until one night he gets a notification for a message request from none other than his really hot (really rich) boss, Harry Styles.

Don’t Call Me Angel

A fic by larryent on AO3 | @larryent on Tumblr | @benicegivelove on Twitter

16k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Manhattan is a dangerous playground for the rich and entitled Alphas of New York. Those same wealthy Alphas are robbed after spending one night in the presence of a blue-eyed Omega and Officer Styles is assigned to the case.

Absolutely Smitten

A fic by MyEnglishRose on AO3 | @lwtisloved on Tumblr | @darlinlou on Twitter

20k | Mature | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Adopting Clifford was a way for Louis to finally cope with his loneliness, as a lively dog would spice up his life and his boring daily routine. Now, he surely didn’t expect Clifford to lead him to meet one strange man obsessed with his cat that he walks and cooks with.

Somehow, Louis falls in love pretty fast along the way.

Or. Louis is walking his dog. Harry is walking his cat. Leashes get tangled, and feelings too.

Somebody Gets Hurt

A fic by LashtonTommo on AO3 | bottom_tommo on Twitter

6k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles have been romantically linked for years. The couple threaten their careers after trying to amuse themselves on a slow day.

By the Still of Your Hand

A fic by summerwine on AO3 | @smrwine on Tumblr | @SMRWINE on Twitter

10k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Louis has a little insecurity, Harry makes him feel better about it.

written in the stars (that's you and me)

A fic by fackinglouis on AO3 | @fackinglouis on Tumblr

22k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Louis pushes himself up on one elbow and stretches enough to just barely trace his fingertips over Harry’s jawline. Harry’s eyes drop to track his movements as he does it again. “D’you feel that?” he whispers.

To him, it feels like all of the universe’s magic lives just beneath his skin when he touches Harry with intent. It feels like something special. Louis watches Harry’s lips part and wants to touch that too. He almost does, but then Harry shakes his head. “Feel what?”

Written for the prompt: Louis is a funny and bratty psychic and Harry is set on proving he's a scam.

thinking about the t-shirt you sleep in

A fic by nonsensedarling on AO3 | @absoloutenonsense on Tumblr

52k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Harry's alpha fraternity donates to a local thrift shop (because of Liam's latent crush on a cute beta in his lecture). Louis' financial situation  (and confusing omega instincts) lead him to make some interesting fashion purchases. Lots of pizza, feelings, and not-really-lying.

Paint me a Literature of Love

A fic by bottomlouiswriter on AO3 | @xoxo-hl on Tumblr

18k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Harry loves literature. It also just so happens he falls in love with a painter who is the perfect subject for prose and poetry.

Louis loves art, specifically acrylic. It seems perfectly fitting that he finds a man that inspires him to paint with all the colours in his supply.

Or - The 90's au with art teacher Louis and literature teacher Harry.

building me up (but buttercup, you lied)

A fic by sakturen on AO3 | @softhie on Tumblr | @28pxls on Twitter

31k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Harry’s mouth felt dry just saying those words. What he had with Louis was so much more than a simple ‘fuck buddies’ situation. It was slow kisses in the morning between soft sheets and shy smiles, it was holding hands in the afternoon while walking and eating ice cream. It was breakfast for dinner, laughing and licking honey from each other’s lips as they shared goals and even some secrets, it was happiness, it was glow.

To Harry, what he had with Louis meant everything. Until Louis decided it meant nothing.