#also the songs are in timeline order. it’s so specific guys I’m not even joking rn

[gggoldfinch]

Lonely Universe • fic playlist

AO3 fic link • spotify playlist link

Undone, Undress Marika Hackman // Brutus The Buttress // Poor Marionette Sarah Cothran // Watering Big Thief // Forget MARINA // Creator, Destroyer Angel Olsen // Paul Big Thief // Never Be Mine Angel Olsen // So Cold Cat Clyde // Lonely Universe Angel Olsen ★ Woe to All (On the Day of My Wrath) Lingua Ignota // Angst Rammstein // Body Terror Song AJJ // …Familiar Place Lucy Dacus // Montezuma Fleet Foxes // The Morning After MEG MYERS // I Love You But I’m Lost Sharon Van Etten // The Night We Met Lord Huron // Bygones Keaton Henson

Disclaimer: unedited photos found on Pinterest

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Character Re-imagined: Sandy

Well kids, we’re still doing our time for artist hiatus crimes so let’s move on to the next chapter! Chapter 100: High Expectatio-

OH FUCK RIGHT, I’M SO SORRY I DID NOT FORGET ABOUT YOU SANDY!  I SWEAR!

Okay, for those who haven’t dug too into this rant series.  A while back, I did a half-rant on the chapter Model Girlfriend, which of course was the chapter where Sandy came back to Roseville for a day.  I ended up not really finishing it because I found most of the talking points that I’d use, and the complaints I had with the chapter, weren’t necessarily with the chapter itself as much as it was with the characterization of Sandy.  And my problem with the characterization was more to do with how I wrote Sandy in comparison to how the canon wrote her.  And simply saying that my problem with a character was that she wasn’t how I wrote her just isn’t a fair critique by any measure.  And no matter what people may think about the rants, the one thing I don’t want the rants to be perceived as, is unfair.  

So I decided that I would do something similar to what I had done before, which was a Character Revisited which was for Paulo.  Where I talked about Paulo’s characterization before Boy Toy and how much of a difference was done to his personality, and demeanor in the recent chapters specifically Table for One (Actually, is it still technically “recent” if these chapters are 3 years old? Man this shit is long).  Anyway, I wanted to something similar for Sandy but be more of a Character Reimagined, talking about what I ended up having to do with the character and how I wrote them for January and False Idol.  It was SUPPOSED to be after the Pit Stop but I kind of forgot about it, and uhh…

I got distracted.  But nonetheless, we’re here now so let’s dive right into it.  This is Sandy Re-imagined.

So if we’re going to talk about my Sandy, and her development as a character we of course have to start with January, and January’s take on Just Beautiful.  And if you don’t know what January is, I’m not going to get too into it but it’s essentially my fancomic which is a faithful (as possible…) alternate take of the whole January arc, following the timeline from December to Happy Hour. And at its rough and rebellious beginnings, it was very run and gun in terms of writing.  I didn’t care as much about building characters outside of setting scenes, and focusing on Lucy and Susan…until…

I had to do Just Beautiful. A chapter that I hated, featuring a character that I hated, that was centered around a ship I didn’t care about, and had little effect on what was happening in the story aside from just making Mike remorseful, because of…

Yeeeah back then, I figured out that Sandy is more of a plot device, than an actual character (an opinion that still holds water today, and I swear to god I will get to that chapter). So I really did not care about her, or give her character any thought until I had to do this segment for January. Because, I cornered myself to do the chapter and realized something… “Hey, fuckface!  You’re a writer!  You don’t think this is interesting or fun?  Then just make it interesting and fun for you!” Sandy is such a blank slate of a character that I could kind of do anything I wanted for her outside of what’s established, and since there wasn’t much established it meant I had to…

Get creative! The first part of writing Sandy was tackling the issues I had with her character in comic, specifically how little we know of her personality, how she interacts not only with Mike, but with people outside of her relationship.  How does she take to adversity, how does she tackles problems, what problems does she face, how do they conflict with her relationship, and how does her relationship clash with that? And in January I couldn’t really dive too deep into that, especially because the story isn’t about her; it’s about Lucy.  But I wanted to at least give something, or hint at that with her little scene just to show that there is at least something there.  But more importantly, I wanted to establish one very key feature about Sandy. Something that I felt the comic left out, and it seems will never come true.

Sandy feels the distance too.  If you look at the scene in January, this is the one bit of dialogue (except on bit at the end) between Mike and Sandy that isn’t directly from the canon to stick to the canon.  And It is the main part of Sandy that I keep at her core because it is one of the one things we knew about Sandy which is that she loves Mike (aaaaand then Model Girlfriend came along and threw a wrench into that…) but at least for me this is what makes up Sandy.  And since we’re talking about Sandy as a character I am going to spoil False Idol quite a bit, because False Idol is essentially a story about finding out about Sandy.  Who she is, what her life is like, and how Mike plays into that.  But one of the main things about Sandy, that I changed about her is brought up in this one bit in January.

Sandy doesn’t tell anyone about Mike.  The more I thought about how little we know about Sandy as a person, the more I thought about how little Mike knows about Sandy as a person.  Which helped to expand her character more as a person.  Looking at Model Girlfriend the whole idea of “Mike really doesn’t know Sandy as a person” was realized…but taken to a more bitter end. Whereas I still held onto the idea of Sandy really loving Mike, but she doesn’t share that with anyone.  She keeps her romantic life separated from her co-workers and classmates, which is also touched on in False Idol.

And more importantly, it goes both ways.  In this way, there’s a lot more intrigue and options in Sandy’s character.  Why is she keeping Mike a secret?  Why did Sam have to steal Sandy’s phone to find this out? Is she ashamed of people knowing Mike’s her boyfriend or is there something more?  And Why haven’t we heard anything about these guys?  And the answer is something I won’t tell you, because that’d be too much of a spoiler, but what I will say is, that at her core the main statement I want to define Sandy is this: Sandy loves Mike.  She loves him as much as Mike loves her. BUT when creating a character, and understanding a character there is one big factor to consider which I found the most fun in writing Sandy and what elevated her into a character that I found myself very engrossed in as a writer.  To the point where even after 3 years I am still dedicated to writing her story in False Idol!  And the one thing to always remember is that no matter what as strong, complex, or emotional your character is.  They are only as interesting as the environment you put them in.  That’s why if you look at the Just Beautiful scene in January, the first time we see Sandy say anything, before she sees Mike; the first interaction we see to give us an idea of how she is outside of Mike is her talking to her best friend.

Sam!  Who has grown on me like an aggressive tumor, and will probably be the death of me.  The big part about writing Sandy and trying to make this character more interesting was building the environment around her.  Brainstorming ideas, and thinking about what her life is like outside of Mike. There is a joke song I wish to make someday parodying Avenue Q and BCB, called There is Life Outside of Your Plot Line, and that’s basically what I wanted to explore with Sandy.  Specifically her and the models.  It’d be easy to assume that the modeling business is cutthroat, and her coworkers are bitchy people, and it’s so taxing, and she hates it, and all that jazz.  But I wanted to take it in a different direction where her work environment isn’t actually that bad.  Her co-workers are nice and down to earth people, with their own personalities and viewpoints.  The first model to get expanded on like this of course being Sam, and her dynamic with Sandy.  This is where of course False Idol comes in and brings out that world more. To give us a better understanding of the kind of people that Sandy hangs around with. But in order to flesh that out I’d need more than Sam which is why in False Idol!

We get a slew of new characters!  In order: Charlie Hartman, Daniel “Dan” Mercado, Samantha “Sam” Cartwright, Ashley “Ash” Clements, Alice McCarthy, and Jason “Jay” Cartwright.  Oh and sadly I couldn’t fit him in here, but I would be doing my man a disservice by not mentioning him,

Tyrone the lovable meathead beefcake!  The only one who I didn’t make a last name for.  Because he doesn’t need it.  He’s just Tyrone.  Although I can only take half-credit for him, because he’s more of a shared joke between me and a friend that we both had a lot of fun working on.  All of these characters help to build the setting and world that Sandy lives in, with their own different personalities.  Sam being a spunky, rebellious, and surprisingly mature scamp; Alice being a very prideful, conceited, yet down to earth, and caring person; Ash being a grounded soft, cute, but hardened and smart girl.  All of the characters help to give us an idea of not only Sandy, but an idea of what she deals with and the people she associates with.  And one important thing about these characters, is the fact that I deliberately wrote it to where not one of these characters were assholes.  I didn’t want to fall into the trapping of having Sandy’s life outside of Mike be some like horrible mean world and Mike’s her only escape, or make it where “Oh little did we know that Sandy’s suffering from this one HORRIBLE MESSED UP THING! SO NOW YOU HAVE TO FEEL BAD FOR HER AND SYMPATHIZE WITH HER OR ELSE YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!” No, I wanted Sandy to have a fairly average life.  So if you were thinking False Idol was gonna do some fucked up heel-turn like “OH BOY, LITTLE DID YOU KNOW THAT SANDY IS ACTUALLY A DRUG ADDICT AND WHORED HERSELF OUT TO GET THE JOB!” I’m sorry that’s not happening…Actually, fuck you I’m not sorry because that’s fucked up I’m not going there.  AND I SWEAR TO GOD IF TAESHI DOES SOMETHING LIKE THAT WHERE IT TURNS OUT OH NO, SANDY HAD SOME FUCKED UP SHIT GOING ON WE DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT AND NOW WE ARE FORCED TO FEEL SAD!  I am going to be fucking fuming mad.

The main thing I wanted to do when writing Sandy, given how little we know about her and the setting she is in.  Is to show this setting she’s in and give us an idea of what her life was like.  I wrote Sandy and False Idol, in a way where you can look at her and the characters that surround her and feel like there was another comic going on at the same time.  And we’re just coming in after they’ve gone through their own different mini story arcs and this is some big moment in their story too.  I mean imagine if Mike suddenly went missing, running away from home and then Sandy comes to Roseville to get answers.  And then she learns more about everyone, and all the stuff Mike’s been through…

Actually that’d be pretty damn cool honestly.  Damn. Taeshi should steal that.  That would be fucking awesome and turn this ship around quick…sigh…if only.  Anyway, what I’m trying to say here is this.

Sandy is a character that I hated.  She was a character that I did not care about at all, and didn’t think anything of.  I saw her in the comic as a plot device and nothing more.  But with creative thinking, care, and love for the comic I reinvented her to be more than that.  To be a good character in her own right.  With her own message, with her own story to tell.  And I believe she has the potential to be just that.  To be more than what she is.  I didn’t want her to be a lie, or a complete fake of what Mike thought she was.  I wanted her to be nice, caring, wholesome, naïve, mature, a little selfish, sneaky, clever, but full of love and surrounded by love and support.   She loves her friends, she loves Mike, she loves her job.

And to see her in canon I just…

I feel disappointed to see her as nothing but a plot device to stab the reader in the gut with and make them feel bad.  I wish she was more.  More than an enigma, more than a bitch, more than another person to make Mike feel bad. Sandy could’ve been better.  She could’ve been so much better.  And I just wish Taeshi did better.  

As someone I looked up to, as someone who inspired me… I wish she’d be better than me.  

[seashelbytravel]

Grettings from the future:

Sunday June 9, 2019

Current location: Kho Lak, Thailand

Traveled from: Ranong, Thailand

Travel date: 6/8/19

From Koh Tao, we took a ferry boat back to the mainland. John joked about it being my opportunity to act out the scene from TITANIC. I regret not doing it.

This time we laid out on the upper most deck, on the ground right up front. No one cares in Thailand.

Our first and most loved/memorable experience was in a small beach down that I won’t name because some people don’t want the world to know about their home, and I respect that. I will write the full experience, but we bonded with a pizza shop owner, who taught me the basics of meditation in Thailand.

Being on the ferry was my first opportunity to practice what I learned. It felt so ....nice. Simplicity is best when describing meditation (prayer). You have to do it for yourself and let your experience just be yours.

Mine is almost always divine, if I can just listen to my breath, and not my mind. The mind (mine for sure) is like a wild toddler that will throw a tantrum once you tell it “I’m not going to pay you this attention, you’re screaming at me, but I do love you”.

The divinity that comes with peace of mind (even if it’s a few moments of thoughtlessness) is profound, and I’ve barely scratched the surface I think.

Off the ferry, we hopped on the back of a motor bike and were taken to the mini bus station.

Chumpon (the port city) is a little dicey. It was the first city where John and I encountered being treated like “stupid Americans” P.S I FULLY understand why all other countries think we are stupid. We have our heads so far up you know where, that we aren’t even truly concerned with world events, beliefs, etc. Even those of us who are concerned, like myself, aren’t given the full scope of what’s actually going on. A larger generalization, but unfortunately it’s true.

We took a mini bus to Ranong Thailand. It’s a beautiful little city tucked away in the mountains. John tells me they average 8 months of rainfall. When we pulled in, school was letting out, and man.... all those little kids were so cute, and sweet! There were a ton of food vendors waiting for them, and they all got their respective treats (fruit smoothies, ice pops, coke, you know.). It reminded me of getting out of school and being picked up with gummy life savers by my Mimi.

I miss her very much. Being here without distraction has opened me up to grieving grief I didn’t even know I had pint up. That’s the thing about grief. You can exercise the hell out of it, but it’s always there.

She never wanted me to cry, and I only cried three times when she finally passed this last summer.

Even sitting here now, I’m not crying. Grieving for her is warm and lovely. And a true “Wow, I miss you and your HUGS”. She gave the best ones.

There are blue (and other colored) butterflies all over the place in decoration here.

She loves butterflies and called little girls butterflies.

Anywho, we found a nice hotel and a place to do laundry (Hallelujah!). For real. When we pulled in, I was in day two clothing and reeeked. John’s pants were torn and he was also in multi day clothing. We. Were. Nasty.

Guess what? The couple who helped with our laundry even had A DRYER. We bought some clean clothes so we could wash the dirty. John got me a shirt that said “Sometimes the happy memories make us the saddest”. It was pink, and very fitting for me, and very sweet of him.

We showered, put on the clean clothes, and dropped off the dirty.

I went to journal out front and met a hilarious man from Indonesia. He is traveling by bike with his wife and his brother, across SE Asia. He pretty much convinced me to move to Indonesia without ever going.

John and his family joined at the same time (just about) and the conversation grew.

They love QUEEN so boom: instant bonding moment.

Upon learning that I am an actress and John a musician (both trained) the business ideas started flowing.

It’s funny, in American people scoff at you when you have an art degree. Here? It’s treasured and honorable.

He told me to make a movie for children in Indonesia. Where all the parts are played by kids.

I’ve been joting down ideas since.

We walked down for dinner and, wow is Ranong gorgeous. We ate at this hip little place. There was a sweet waiter working who literally asked his friend if he could take out table. They were so excited to be around Americans.

It’s funny, the same crappy American pop songs play at every “hip” place here.

I want to show them the good stuff.

Our food was delicious but reaaallly spicey for Shelby. Still delicious. But, I needed a soda water and a rest, so I went back to the hotel.

We went to sleep and woke up with the plan to go to the hot springs (Ranong is known for this).

We went to a spa. The sweet receptionist didn’t understand that John was trying to order us both the same thing (a traditional Thai massage, and herbal exfoliation) so, I get ushered into the women’s side, and he the men’s.

Long story short. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing and didn’t monopolize fully on the hot spring aspect of things.

This is a funny story, I’m laughing about this: Then, I ended up getting the herbal exfoliation, which was essentially a glorified rub down of all of my body except for my bottom private area. Did you catch that? My BOTTOM private area was the only spot not rubbed down by this sweet old Thai lady. Needless to say, I have the softest skin, but also, hello! Wasn’t expecting that one. But oh well I honestly didn’t care.

Then I thought “Yes! time for my massage”.

Nope.

I was done and waited in the lobby an additional hour, until I was so confused that I just asked the lady the timeline. She didn’t understand and led me up to a beautiful room where John was receiving the most awesome traditional Thai massage.

Lol.

Mine will come later. Although, I was a little disappointed to not get one there specifically.

He felt really bad, but I didn’t want him to. He had never received a massage before. Ever. What a perfect place for your first pamper experience.

He got me some grilled banana (Hi. I’m a little sick from this, this morning, err a little more than a little, but not enough to keep me in bed). I was chowing down, and John took one bite and made a face and threw them out. I felt weird about them too, but accepted the snack anyway.

Shoulda trusted my gut, because it’s mad at me now.

We ate Thai pizza, talked more about Anthony Bourdain, and hitched a ride the the bus station.

It’s crazy, you really have to watch your bags (even with them on your back) at all times. I now know how to scope out advantage takers.

I didn’t mention this before, but my debit card disappeared in Bangkok. And our hotel never called back when John inquired about it.

Thank God for technology because it ended up being a semi easy fix.

The bus trip was long and rough. Something like 5 hours for 70 miles.

We are here in Khotak. Finally on the coast and it’s pouring. I’m praying for sunshine 🌞 queue “Let the Sun Shine”.

But, like I said, I woke up and got sick in the middle of the night, and a little this morning. Currently drinking tea and eating toast. I’ll take some activated charcoal and I’ll be good.

I encourage you to Google Earth the places we are staying. Im obsessed with Google Earth. It’s one of my hobbies, if that qualifies.

All photos belong to John Philip Sessions.

Photographed: The ferry ride from Koh Tao Island

Love you guys, thanks for tuning in ♾

[nellynee]

Three Caballeros headcanons

classic, very gay edition

The timeline for Saludos Amigos is unclear, but it’s canon that Donald is a recognizable celebrity at this time. That being said, I put this at Donald vacationing on his first bit of real leave from the navy. His celebrity status being very new and small in the states but much larger outside of it. 

In terms of say, Ducktales, this puts his Navel career as a source of pride, Acting and performance as a passion he pursues, and the everyday jobs he tends to loose due to luck his actual income after the Navy.

Early timeline inspired by the small design changes in Jose between the two movies, making him a juvenile of his species at the time. Approximately their early twenties. 

White feathered Panchito. Twin? Tan? Or brighter juvenile feathers?

Jose will protest all day that he isn’t actually a scam artist. He simply aids tourists in finding the most entertaining of distractions and they willingly gift him in compensation. Sometimes they’re passed out when it happens.

Jose and Donald actually met as a mix of the movie and the comic. Jose was planning on making Donald his next target, but after realizing it was the REAL Donald Duck, quickly changes his mind... or rather, goes out of his way to make sure Donald has good memories at least. 

That being said, he’s never actually paid for a drink in his entire life, and certainly never plans to

Jose finds Donald enchanting. Jose, he loves Brazil, and Donald doesn’t treat his home like some exotic diversion. He immerses himself into every experience completely, and Jose finds Donald’s sense of cultural wonder flattering where it should be annoying.

Jose immediately starts to flirt with Donald and Donald just figures that’s the way the guy is??? He flirts with literally everything? 

There is one night early in the trip they don’t talk about. Donald can become a sad drunk and Jose comforted him the only way he knew how. If Jose had known they would become actual friends, he would not have done it. Both are sure the other doesn’t remember.

Of the three, Panchito is the vocals, Jose the instrumentals, and Donald the dancer.

Jose is always ready to dance the Samba with Donald 

ALWAYS

Jose ends up in Mexico when Donald heads back towards the states at the end of his vacation. His debts at the time mean it’s probably better to skip town for a while, and with Donald to pay for his meals why not?

Jose and Panchito meet like in the comics after Donald returns home (for those who don’t know, Jose attempts to seduce a woman Panchito is courting. A series of one upmanship happens, in which Jose uses empty boast and tricks to try and get rid of Panchito, and Panchito, knowing Jose is a dirty crook, attempts to rat him out. It culminates in a horse race, which Jose wins, only for the woman to have eloped at the end)

(edit: I’ve had questions about the comic I’m referring, and you can actually find said comic here. There are other interpretations as well. I’m under the impression that the famous silver hunt is a first meeting, though I’ve never actually found it in it’s entirety to make sure. I love the idea of that one, but I have my own reasons for this one.)

They HATE each other at first. Panchito, on his honor, can not allow this scoundrel to con hard working people out of their belongings and fallows Jose around the country exposing his lies. Jose can not live like this.

After several failed attempts to shake the rooster, Jose opts for his next best weapon, his charisma

He may not know the local scene like back home, but he can smell a good time from a mile away, all he has to do is figure out what Panchito wants.

Fortunately for him, Panchito is as much a party animal as Jose is. 

(It opens up the doors, but what REALLY convinces Panchito is Jose’s sense of honor. For all that he will never work, Jose does not take anything not freely given to him, be it money, possessions, women, and on one very memorable occasion, even food. Panchito, he is a sharp bird, he watches, he sees. It is the small kindnesses that convinces him to give Jose a chance)

Jose doesn’t consider Panchito anything more than a slightly more convenient annoyance until a series of adventures through the desert left him living only because of Panchito’s actions. Only then does he realize Panchito is genuine. (and oh no, what a feeling that was)

It’s a wonder how much they really have in common and get along when both of them are trying. 

Panchito prefers the wide open plains, and Jose, the bustling cities, but Panchito finds adventure wherever, and Jose learns to love it, if for no other reason than loosing track of time, keeping busy, and the rush

Panchito 100% does not believe that Jose knows THE Donald Duck.

Panchito is later 100% amazed that Jose knows THE Donald Duck

This is the Greatest day of Panchito’s life

(and the rest is history. Seriously. That whole week is one long blackout for all three of them)

That being said, the first time Donald and Jose dance the samba together (really, REALLY together. They are often dancing in the same space, spinning around each other, half formed moves to the tune for the joy of it. Once a day if Jose can get his way. But on that day the beat is quick and the drums made their blood boil) Panchito knew he was in trouble.

They spend several years traveling together. First on Donald’s dime. As money goes thin, they stay in spaces longer, living on what Panchito can work up on a few days or going out to help him with some bounty or other, hopping from stranger to stranger on the goodwill of Donald’s fame, earning money busking and gain quite the fallowing. 

They never really establish a relationship, in the monogamous sense, but they do develop a commitment to each other. They all become so openly affectionate there is no question about it in any of them. They come to love each other openly and without reservation, but they will often fight over women as well. As time goes by it goes from a real source of feuding for them to a joke and a sense of competition. 

There’s no reason for them to break up really. Donald starts to miss his family around the same time Panchito starts to feel the need for home and some roots for just a while. Jose has saved some money and is dreadfully homestick

That’s what he tells them at least. His good friends have triggered a very embarrassing urge for... domesticity (yes, I do mean he becomes hormonal. All the sunlight and good food will do that) He needs time time to himself.

This is about the time Donald gets the boys. They had never intended it to be permanent, but they had some good years, and they stay in touch.

Donald’s self esteem issues are harder to fight through the mail, but they sure do try. 

(non timeline related headcanons)

Jose prefers expensive booze, cheap cigars, and free women, in any order 

Of the three, Panchito holds his liquor best, and Donald the worst. 

Panchito and Jose just... they love how much Donald loves their mother countries so much. 

I’d put something here about how much Panchito and Jose respect Donald and think him just a wonderful person to look up to but that’s comic canon.

The first time Donald and Panchito see Jose in casual jeans and t-shirt they nearly have a heart attack

The “turning his umbrella into various musical instruments” thing is a parlor trick. He’s a parrot with a LOT of instruments in his vocal repertoire. He’s surprised no one has caught on by now.

When it comes to marriage, Donald is canonically terrified of domestic monogamy and find the idea emasculating. Jose is even less inclined, but less out of fear and more that he would prefer less to chain him down. He would be willing to marry a pretty girl for her money, but probably couldn’t be convinced to stay around. Panchito is most attracted to the idea of a stable home and a big family, but latter comes to understand he doesn’t necessarily need a wife and children with so many lovers and nephews. 

Panchito and Jose are the COOLEST uncles. 

Panchito loves children, is bombatious and rowdy, and has guns, The triplets love him.

Jose has no idea what to do with them. He defaults to his charismatic facade and comes off as cool but also he’s never allowed to watch them alone (”They are nearly grown boys Donal’ they must learn to smoke sometime!)

Daisy: “Oh Donald doesn’t dance, he’s to clumsy for that and frankly it’s like pulling teeth” Jose, ten feet away, dancing a quite passionate samba with Donald and trying to convince him to run away with him

Yes they do know other dances, but the samba, aaaah the samba, how Jose loves the Samba

Panchito will sing love songs for them to dance to as an inside joke

Everyone has all three speaking spanish as their go to middle language but from day one Jose has insisted on speaking predominately Portuguese and then translating for himself over the years in close quarters they all pick up so much listening to them in conversations must be a nightmare.

Everyone in the fandom splits the cooking but Panchito is a traveling cowboy who lives of what he hunts and buys and Jose’s house doesn’t even seem to have a kitchen and he parties every night and Donald is the canonical amazing cook. The triplets grow up on some interesting recipes. 

Panchito is openly affectionate in a platonic sense, always hugging and touching the other two, but preferred a certain degree of affection to be between only lovers unless prompted otherwise. Jose will make out in the middle of a town square if you get him worked up enough and will let him. Donald will never initiate anything but he’s just... so happy when it happens.

In the sense of TTC movie, the second and third gift in reality are plane tickets. Its the first time they’re all together in years.

Aaaaaan it’s late so that’s all I got for now. Feel free to ask any more specifics, I got a million of them!

[revenblue]

Finally watched MML in English, liveblogging under the cut.

when I watched in Japanese I called the whole thing with Heinz doing the recap "inspired". now that I can understand it, I can see just how inspired it really is (far more than I'd thought), I'm love. I forgot just how much I love Heinz

he doesn't believe Cavendish about him being Professor Time ;_; (admittedly I have Opinions about that whole plotline but)

the jingle for Time Chips, omg

Cav's so willing to strip off for his celeb crush omg. and Heinz is Uncomfortable. (also, looks like "wearing underwear with your crush's face" is a thing people in Dwampyverse do :P)

yeah, accusing Melissa and Zack of dating is sure to be ship fuel

of course the diversion's Melissa's idea, that conniving little (I love her)

"stop foreshadowing" omg

Baljeet's singing is so good. such harmony (my former church choir soprano brain provided the term "descant" but uh yeah)

that jingle XD and of course Heinz's priorities are such a mess that he'd rebrand before he saves the world

Heinz thinking Diogee's an agent, beautiful~ and out of "habit" XD then again, his best friend is short and furry, it's no wonder he'd leap to that conclusion

ahh, foreshadowing with that orange soda thing ("destroying the environment" wow)

Heinz's snark at the questions about Perry, ahaha I love him

okay so "time juice" (it feels weird to hear him call it that) isn't Pizzazzium Infinionite itself, just... similar. :/

"who keeps a clock in their backpack? that's just weird" not as weird as a gd anchor, Milo

"maybe we're related"

"he's either saying he's going with you, or he regrets the impulsive mistakes of his youth" both. it's both, and the """""mistake""""" is falling in love with you, Heinz (but he loves you enough to just sigh about it sometimes)

the way the music pauses when Milo falls into the bush, that's amazing XD

Perry's hypercompetence is so damn attractive, wow *swoons* god I'm such a furry

King Pistachion's instructions to his "kids" is so great XD

that mask gag XD

"too much exposition" "yeah that's probably why your show was cancelled" ooh burn

"yeah no pressure" that's gonna come up later isn't it

Milo's dancing is so great, haha. and that scorecard gag, so perfect

ah, Dwampy, always bringing us those classy bathroom jokes

"Ducky MoGo" I mean it's a catchy name... XD (her intro's kinda underwhelming though. that's where my nitpicks are, the plot)

joking about Ferb talking, nice. and the "yes, yes it has".

"well it does kinda describe us, but it's just rude", that callback :D

"what are the odds" "better than you think" ah yes Milo shows up again

Dakota listing off animals, nice. in alphabetical order, too. also I love that beard sight gag still

"you won't let me sing the zoo song" yeah that probably got old real fast

Go Fish with hot sauce packets. er, hot sauce packet singular. it really says something that Perry's happy to go along with that idea (it's bc it's Heinz, I think)

"'careful' or 'hurry', choose one" yeah it is kinda a choice of one or the other XD

and he squished the hot sauce packet XD

cupholder joke, I love it XD

that extended view of the window with the sounds of destruction. perfect cross-language joke

"what do you usually do when things go wrong" their silence here is telling. (also, the answer? Phineas yells.)

"we have no frame of reference for that" yup

Perry beating up Pistachions to cover for Heinz, I'm love

Candace's attitude to Milo is uh... not fun

"no human being has a neck that long"

ah yes, the duck is still after Elliot, of course

"hey, sometimes Murphy's Law" can be totally helpful!" yyyyyyeah...

oh hey, a woodpecker

okay, the thinking Candace is a Pistachion thing makes that scene make a whole lot more sense

"I was talking about me. we need this guy around" oh, Candace...

"my bad" "we still need him!" I love that XD

the sitcom gags are doubly amusing with the context of the dialogue XD they were good when I watched it originally, but now? amazing. but also wtf Heinz why

"and that's why we use a cupholder"

ah yes, The Island. when I first watched this I knew it was The Island, even before the reveal

oof, Cav dealing with his hero worship not being such a hero. never fun.

Perry's just standing there though, what are you doing Perry

ugh Heinz needs a hug, Perry what are you waiting for

"I know when I'm not wanted" oh Heinz ;_;

it's... it's this bit. where Perry kinda just disappears entirely? there's no other reason for him not going after his nemesis to reassure him the way he always does.

"okay now that's environment. no wonder they banned this stuff." ah yes the callback

and Orton showing up to relate, which is... it makes sense at least? (but where the hell is Perry?)

"oh look a ukelele" Heinz why

ooh the SONG

"and there's a future self up to which I have to measure" oof

"no matter where I go, oh look, I'm already there" *Homestuck intensifies*

and the gd mid-song genre switch. with the "throwing money away" sight gag. ye gods. XD

"I forgot where I was going with this" nice going Heinz

"apparently the locals are not music fans" yeah it takes a suave semiaquatic personification of unstoppable dynamic fury to love your singing voice, Heinz :P

and the reveal of it being The Island, this'll be... yeah

oh hey, voiceover montage song from Milo

is this an Uptown Funk reference? I'm not sure, I don't keep up to date with pop music, but it looks like a reference

OH yeah, Melissa did a ton of research herself. she'd be happy with all this new data

Baljeet's totally flirting there too

...the jokes about Zack and Melissa dating are... idk. they're amusing in the moment but the premise they're built off is uh. I don't like it.

oh boy, the explanation of Murphy's Law... you know, that kinda breaks my suspension of disbelief a little. because instead of unspoken rules, it's now spoken rules with details to find inconsistencies in

"montage time!" I love him

gotta say, I do love the occasional gag of "things spontaneously catch on fire", that's always fun

"several hundred" Dakotas? looks like the 102 estimate from that episode was lowballing... or he's guesstimating

"you're gonna laugh" "probably not" I mean if you set the death montage to cheerful music...

huh, he told the truth. idk why I was expecting him to lie but I was so that's a surprise

he took it really well, which. eh, idk, I figured it'd be used for angst at some point. but apparently not.

oh so it's this SPECIFIC orange soda. also Dakota's been doing this for a while I guess

"well I'm not the environment" these two are... far too similar. Dan Povenmire's typecast himself I guess

"we're gonna need a lot of cupholders" ah yes the cupholder joke again XD

aaaaaand they're captured.

"we had to switch over to the HDMI cables" I love this joke XD

"you and what army" "that army" ahhhh. cliché but always satisfying

oh hi Isabella, showing up in the last uh ten minutes. and flirting a little with Phineas of course but eh this plot point came out of absolutely nowhere

I love how, when Heinz falls out of the thing, Perry's first reaction is to jump out after him and save him. it's a fun dynamic to bring back. also did I mention Perry's competence is attractive?

"oh, that was touching" ahaha XD

"don't mess with Doctor Zone- Doctor Zone? who's Doctor Zone?" XD

welp, giant Pistachion

oof. can really feel its dilemma. poor giant Pistachion :c

giant Pistachion redemption ;_;

"here's an adaptor we needed" XD

AAAAAAA PERRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYy, my heart ;_; he saved them, risking his cover, I can't ;_;

and he retreated to pet mode just in time, ugh ;_; PERRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY ;_;

then he leaves as soon as they're not looking and disappears from the plot

"Murphy's Law And Order" omg

loving that accurate tech support gag

blasting familiar yet not plot relevant characters so we see how bad things are. gotta keep us invested

lemon callback, nice

radioactive watermelon is a bit... out of nowhere. why is he carrying that in his backpack again? (especially when he doesn't carry a clock)

"blowtorch and some peanut butter" nice refrance

yeah, seeing everyone as a Pistachion is... not good. (tbh when I first saw this my only thought was "I hope Heinz isn't in there" bc I'm er biased)

and Heinz is fine, that's a relief. Perry musta kept him safe... speaking of which, where is Perry?

"Vanessa's dad" hm... okay this is a weird epithet but it kinda makes sense with how they'd know him, considering Ferb's crush on Vanessa...

"no, I am Professor Time, and we are not out of time until I say so!" hhhhhh I have a lot of feelings about this. it's dramatic, which is always fun, but. ugh I'm biased, I love Heinz

and the deus ex machina. which is... not quite out of nowhere, but. hhhhhh I have Opinions.

Cav's squee is adorable

nice use of the Doctor Zone theme

ah yes the letter, almost forgot about that plot point from Missing Milo

"I don't feel so good" okay that's not the dialogue but still!

nooooooo not Giant Pistachion ;_;

oh right, in this timeline Doctor Zone wasn't a thing, so Sara's shirt was blank

"wait a minute, why am I still part plant?" amazing

"we're going to be in serious trouble aren't we" yup

rip DEI

"my building! ugh. can I crash on your couch?" CALLED IT

"feel free to cross over any time" heh

oh Heinz XD "where do you guys keep the extra toilet paper? I'm asking for a friend" so either he had an "accident" or Perry had an "accident" (...it's the latter. it's gotta be the latter. Agent Pee strikes again)

[fountainpenguin]

What kinds of AU pieces go in the Off the Rails collection?

“Get Flappy Reprise - The Sort-Of Musical” - That ‘fic based off the first draft script of the Musical, where Flappy Bob was actually Imaginary Gary in disguise, and Gary and Betty possibly knew he was an imaginary friend all along and they love and support him. This ‘fic would make mention of all the old songs and their ridiculousness. Also, lots of pixies in birdcages. 

The “You Deserve It” Prompt - An AU where BookwormGal’s take on Anti-Cosmo is replaced with mine, and I rewrite the almost-climax scene of Never Had a Friend Like Me appropriately. Basically, Anti-Cosmo grinds the entire “Let’s throw everybody in lava” plan to a halt, much to H.P.’s annoyance, and spontaneously throws a massive party in Amanda’s honor for zodiac-related reasons. The plan is still to kill her, but now she’s a fancy sacrifice. Norm is still going through paperwork with Sanderson and has no idea what’s going on. 

The “Only an Idea” / “Learn Your Place” Prompts - Also known as Reedfilter Rules AU. Basically, we’ve got girl pixies this time. In fact, one of them is Rani Reedfilter, the Head Pixie before our H.P. came along, and thus the reason for this AU’s name. Pixie society is very different, being less based on insect biology and probably a bit closer to what the true canon would be. Also, H.P. spent 37 years seducing Rani in order to work his way up to the vice president position because that’s just how he is, and Sanderson gossips with everybody and judges him super hard. Definitely more of a schemer than loyal lieutenant.

So it’s just a different take on the Pixies, really. Possibly worth mentioning that the reason H.P. takes an interest in Sanderson in this AU is that he and Sanderson are both Fairy/Pixie crossbreeds, with Sanderson’s mother being a will o’ the wisp. Sanderson has blue eyes, too. My favorite joke about RR!AU is that H.P. is a massive klutz who trips over half of everything and yet still tries super hard to be cool. And unlike his touch-starved Riddleverse Classic counterpart, Reedfilter Rules!Sanderson is super squeamish about any type of physical affection, and I just think it’s funny.

For now, I’ve tentatively chosen to scrap this version of the “Learn Your Place” Prompt (which covered some of H.P.’s flirting from Rani’s perspective) in favor of making “Learn Your Place” a Cupid and Juandissimo friendship Prompt. So I’m not really sure what my plans are for RR!AU, especially since between the two Pixie AUs I have, I favor the next one more than this one. So I might keep it to myself, or I still might make it its own ‘fic. I’m a weirdo that way.

“The Gyne and the Drone” - An absolutely self-indulgent story based on that moment in Fairy Idol where H.P. is referred to as “Sanderson’s friend.” In this AU (Happy Dip AU to you guys), they’re friends who met in their adulthood, and this ‘fic covers the development of that friendship. Specifically, it covers H.P.’s ascension into Head Pixie-hood and Sanderson’s parallel journey up the social ladder to being his alpha retinue drone. It’s kind of like a slow burn platonic friendship with pheromone benefits, as they awkwardly navigate around each other’s expectations and try to work out the whole preening situation when it’s not something they’ve been doing since Sanderson was a kid this time.

In Reedfilter Rules AU, the Head Pixie isn’t allowed to have a mate, and H.P. was a lowly worker who flirted his way up the social ladder after recognizing how much Rani misses the husband (“match”) she had to let go of following her coronation. But here in “The Gyne and the Drone”, only the Head Pixie is allowed to have children (Don’t worry- we’ve got other Pixie companies to avoid inbreeding). So far this ‘fic consists of H.P. sliding from his bed to the floor and whining to his dad that he doesn’t want kids because he “doesn’t liiiiiiiiike people”, and Sanderson dragging H.P. out to his first rave. I’m pretty sure that first one is just a placeholder. Second one is definitely happening.

Basically, it’s an AU where all the general worldbuilding is the same, except there are several Pixie companies and it’s kind of like one of those fantasy books with the castles and arranged marriages, but more corporate. And instead of Wolbachia there are loose hints of haplodiploidy because I am eusocial insect trash and I don’t even. For once H.P. is telling the truth when he says he’s not a dad and has no sons /shot

Don’t ask me what I do in my spare time because it’s just this.

“Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails” - A silly, stylistically-different multi-chapter story about Foop and Anti-Marigold gathering potion ingredients to turn Foop into a boy after his aging potion accidentally turns him into a girl. 

So, it’s an alternate, way more lighthearted explanation on the origin of the “magical to-die-for heart-shaped pendant” we saw in “Blue Angel” than the explanation I went with in Identity Theft. While Identity Theft and “Snips” can’t coexist in the same timeline, neither exactly contradicts Riddleverse Classic canon and in theory you could accept either one as your headcanon’d backstory for the pendant. Even so, I technically consider Identity Theft to be part of the Riddleverse Classic works for purely stylistic reasons.

“Pulling Your Puzzles Apart” - AU where Timmy considers his best friend to be A.J. over Chester, so during Fairy Idol, Norm ends up going to college with A.J. and does not enjoy it at all. The first chapter is done (Mayor’s perspective was surprisingly a lot of fun), and the outline is done with 10 chapters pinned down. Except I still have a few details about the finale to untangle. Hmph.

The title of this piece is from the lyrics of the Coldplay song “The Scientist”, and all the chapters are named after other lyrics in the song.

“King Me” - Riddleverse worldbuilding is exactly the same, but this time Anti-Dusty received his inheritance over Anti-Bryndin. Thus, Anti-Wanda was raised as nobility and heir to the High Countess seat, and Anti-Cosmo was raised in rags on the outskirts of society. Talon still exists and is still raised by both Anti-Cosmo and H.P. (though his biological parents differ from Riddleverse Classic canon). This will probably be a one-shot unless it gets too long and needs to be divided into three. It’s basically a bunch of Anti-Wanda / H.P. friendship as Anti-Wanda works out her feelings on her impending marriage to a man she’s never met. And then… wedding! I also included some pieces from one of the very first Prompts I ever wrote, which had to be scrapped due to conflicting with finalized headcanons. Nice to actually use them in an AU!

Thus far I’ve had to physically restrain Anti-Wanda from sweeping Anti-Cosmo off for immediate kisses, because she would totally do so if I let her and I suspect she’ll get away with it in the end. I only have the Anti-Wanda and H.P. chat done so far, so I’m not sure what the ending is, but I suspect it’s going to dissolve into absolute wedding night fluff. Except for the fact that my document is currently a collection of several directions to take this story, one of which involves broken wings and one of which involves Anti-Cosmo on a farm. So I don’t even know where this is going yet. It could go anywhere. All I know for sure is that it’s told from Anti-Wanda’s point of view and she’s a riot, and Anti-Cosmo becomes High Count in this piece (hence the title).

“Just Ask” - Okay, well, I haven’t really planned anything officially, but I have been entertaining some ideas of an AU one-shot where Gary and Betty both grew up in Dimmsdale independently of one another, and only cross paths at the Learn-A-Torium. It’s their summer job that they each try to juggle with a thousand other life responsibilities (such as Betty’s anxiety issues and Gary’s difficult home life). So it’s a “what could have been” piece about if the Pixies hadn’t invaded their childhoods, and had instead approached them for the first time just before the Musical. Some fun ideas in this one, my personal favorite being Gary’s overprotective biker friends, so it’ll be great if I get around to it.

Dust to Dust and “Antlers for Dummies” are both crossover pieces (with “ChalkZone” and “Milo Murphy’s Law” respectively) and would technically fall in the Off the Rails category too, if I ever do write them. The “First Impressions” Prompt is kinda a crossover too, in that it covers the Creature Convention where Cosmo and Bunsen met according to “Bunsen Is a Beast” canon, and there are other Nick show cameos around too.

Potentially more to come, since I have tons of scrapped FOP stuff and maybe I can recycle some of it. But most of what I write fits within standard Riddleverse canon, so these are the only pieces I know of right now. What sounds interesting to you guys?

[crimsonbluemoon]

This might be a dumb question, I dunno, but how do you get inspiration to write a fic? Or how do you get motivation to write one? I was planning on maybe writing my own and posting it on the website, but I'm lacking inspiration, motivation, and confidence.

This isn't dumb at all!! I'm happy to hear that you're attempting to write something, I love hearing that. ^.^ As for my inspiration...well, I need to start this off by saying I feel like I'm not a creative writer. It's weird, because I see what others create and I feel so plain in comparison? Like I'm being serious when I tell you I don't know how my stories get even 10 likes on them. (I just found out the other day someone was a fanboy of mine and knew my account and I felt so confused as to why?) I would be lying to you if I said that I thought I was the best person to answer this. But, since you did ask me, I'll do my best to try and help out. I'll always contribute most of my writing to music. I've been in love with music, all different styles and kinds, since I was a baby. And sometimes, while I'm listening to a song, my brain just starts thinking about what that song would look like in a picture. This is sort of obvious with 'Want You' and the connection to Rynx. If it's not music, then it's something that I stumble upon in my own life. This could be an article I read, a news story, a friend of a friend, or even something I encounter myself. From there, I sort of take that idea or incident that happened and say 'Okay, but what if this happened in that picture? How would everything change?'. Um, because I'm thinking you've read some of my work, I'll give you examples of things I've written throughout the course of this answer. For my OhmToonz story, "Christmas At the Beach", I got my inspiration from Christmas shopping. There was a cute guy at the counter and he sort of flirted with me, but then I got super embarrassed and left without making any sort of move. Yes, I am that lame. BUT I took that scenario and said "What if I had been Cartoonz and the guy had been Ohm? I bet he would have flirted back", which opened up the questions of why Cartoonz was in the store, did he go alone, how did the environment change his luck, etc. And somehow, I made it into a story. Occasionally, like with 'Slipping on Mistletoe', I actually think of the ending or a specific part of the story first. And then I sort of backtrack as to why that thing happened. I knew that I wanted Evan to end up at a Christmas party with the crew and getting swept up in this dramatic 'cliche' joke kiss with Johnathan, but I didn't really know how at first. But that vivid picture of them outside stuck in my head, and I formulated the plot around that. I have a story at the moment I'm working on where despite it not even being the main plot, I knew I wanted to have Ohm and Cartoonz singing to Delirious to try and get him to cheer up after a "failed" date. Its something silly and really only a small part of the story, but I knew I had to create a story as to WHY they were singing to him, which was super fun to write. Prompts can be awesome, too. Nothing gets your head turning like seeing something random in a prompt and trying to make it your own. Pintrest has some good ones (and if anyone has a list of prompts, or has a prompt they want me to try, PLEASE SEND IT TO ME) and you can always find a couple on Tumblr. The best part of these is that you get to take something that may not seem like a story, like a line of dialogue or a really boring scenario, and make it nothing like what another author would do with it. Sometimes, I'll look back at prompts I've already done and try them again to keep my plot lines different. It helps your keep your brain fresh, too! As for how I get motivation to write, it goes back to my first suggestion; music. Try to make a playlist of songs that you REALLY like. If you're feeling super invested, you could even make playlists of songs that cause different emotions in you. I have playlists for death, fighting, love, humor, depression, and general. When I'm needing a sort of inspiration, I put whatever playlist I need at the time, and I write. Music is a really big impacter of my stories, and sometimes I will put specific songs on repeat in order to get the right feeling (Ex: I had Miranda Glory's song "Take" on today while I was writing chapter four of 'Want You' because of the ambiance it gave me) Finally, my BIG tip on staying on track with writing, and what helps me with storylines, is Outlining. It sounds daunting, and sometimes it is. But writing out an outline for a chapter or even a whole story is a great way to make sure your story is going in the right direction. sometimes while you're writing out an outline, your realize your plot has a hole in it or you don't explain something quite right. Outlines are also helpful to look at if you're going to foreshadow certain events. You can just put in bold letters "Have person A say THIS because of event in chapter four" or whatever it is you need to keep in mind. I also have been known to write out character plot lines, which is how each character changes throughout the story, or background information that is important to the plot of that character. If your story exceeds a month, I'd say make a calendar of events. That way you can look at your story from a sort of timeline, and be able to switch things around that seem too close or too far apart. And that's kind of it? I hope that I haven't bored you with my reply, or that I didn't make it too long. Like I said, I'm sure there are hundreds of other people who could give better tips than me, so sorry if this sucks. But thank you for reading my writing, and good luck with your story! ^.^

[scenesplitterworld-blog]

It’s Not About the Shape – It’s About the Lie (An investigation into why flat earth hip-hop may seem merely stupid, but might actually be dangerous too: Electric Bugaloo)

Author’s Disclaimer: I’m sure that, like most people, most flat earthers are fine. Most people who rap about the shape of the place we all live on are probably fine. I acknowledge that the two dudes I profile in this investigation are probably the ISIS of your conspiracy movement. If you come across this article, and you’re a regular John or Jane Q. Flat Earther, please understand that your willfully ignorant belief has some truly disgusting expressions and intellectual underpinnings. So, with quite a bit of conscious irony, if you are a “moderate” flat earth truther, I exhort you to denounce your radically anti-Semitic fringe, particularly Eric Dubay. It may be a shitty presumption on my part, but I just assume that even you, hypothetical, humdrum Dale or Erma P. Flat Earther, are the kind of person to constantly post to FacePage that “moderate Muslims” must unceasingly denounce Al-Qaeda. And if, havin’ read through this, you’re the kind of person who’ll accuse me of being a “SJW” because I think promoting Holocaust denial is hugely problematic, eat shit; die mad with stank breath. But, if you’re a hardcore ODD TV or Dubay boy, please come at me, I’ll gladly take whatever you consider lumps. All that said, let’s listen to some real fringe fuckin’ hip-hop, shall we?

               I’ll bet most folks view people who believe the earth isn’t really round as nothing more than loons and larks. That’s how I started. Owing to a strange encounter I had with a feller at a show last winter, I had a picture of flat earth truthers as young, isolated, drunk, white dudes with dreadlocks wearing kneepads over their jeans saying gross things to pretty ginger gals. I was a little worried, but still mostly tickled, to discover that there’s a largish community of believers online. If you don’t get into the weeds of what belief in the flat earth entails, it’s easy to laugh it off as mere ignorant buffoonery, but, whoooooo boy, if you examine it closely, you’re in for one of the wildest, and surprisingly disturbing, rides of your life.

                 I stepped through the looking glass on accident, when I stumbled on this music video, “Cartoon Ball,” by ODD TV. At first, I clowned on it. Of course I did. Did you watch it? Christ. Dude’s shirt says “Never Sleep Again,” and he really looks like he ain’t slept because he’s in the early, still exciting days of a meth bender. I sent this video to friends and shared it on my timeline because I wanted to spread the chuckles. To be fair to ODD TV, I think he’s got legitimate talent. Not just on this track, but also throughout his catalogue, he’s got a catchy flow and his songs show a deft use of samples – for example, in the bluntly titled song, “Dear NASA, Why Are You Lying,” he takes the lyric “Space may be the final frontier, but it’s made in a Hollywood basement” from Red Hot Chili Pepper’s song “Californication,” and using that in a song about how the earth is actually not globe-shaped is, artistically, fairly dope. Not at all what the funky, cock-socked, SoCal, alt-rock, boys had in mind when they wrote the song, but that’s ODD TV’s genius. His video production, likewise, is slick. It’s much slicker than this other flat earther we’re gonna scrutinize in a sec, but one thing these guys share, which, I gotta say, is utterly derivative of almost every other conspiracy theorist with social media accounts, is referencing the Rowdy Roddy Piper flick, They Live. Guys. Give it a moratorium, right now, y’all have made it lazy.  

              Anyway, I got my giggles and moved on, right? Obviously not. After my mirth settled down, I found myself returning to “Cartoon Ball,” and for all my above praise, I wasn’t watching this weird shit again because I was real into the music. Nah, I think it was this lyric in particular: “God created the heavens and the earth / in a verse / but we’re livin’ in a Freemasonic Galaxy.” ODD TV doesn’t get into what he means by that, exactly, in this video – although, he gets into in in his oeuvre, bet your ass on that – because he’s focused mostly on rallying the viewer against NASA.

              But, on repeat viewing, you know, I caught this brief WTF nugget – a what the fugget, if you will: “We follow rapists and murderers / liars, thieves, and sun worshipers / sayin’ we can’t see curvature / ‘cause we’re all too small.” It’s the sun worshippers part that’s the sore thumb, right? Well, get ready for that sore thumb’s equally sore counterpart when ODD TV raps that believers in a spherical planet are “Stuck in the material domain of Satan.”

              Well, little ol’ me, Alice Donkey Boy Croix, was drawn further into the flat earth hip-hop scene by YouTube’s helpful recommendation. Oh, what a twisted Wonderland that turned out to be. But store those what the fuggets away for later use, Beloved Reader, they’ll crash back into pertinence again directly. Presently, we need to turn to how things got soooooo much more goddamned bonkers. The other cat I referenced briefly earlier, his name’s Eric Dubay, and he’s just about the whole rest of the haul of our investigation. So, settle in to peep this video, “Once You Go Flat.”

                Holy. Steaming. Shit. Y’all. Good. God. Damn.

              Right?

              Sorry to spring that diarrhea spray of hippo shit at you without much warning, but I wanted you to be as utterly gob-smacked as I was when Holocaust denial enters into things…and continues to spiral out from there. And just in case THAT was somehow an aberration from his mean, I watched this one. If you watched the first one, you already know to brace yourself, but, I cannot really stress enough that he, whew, he doubles down.

   So, let’s shelve the vegetarian polemic and uh…yeah…that was the most hardcore anti-Semitic thing I’ve ever experienced in musical form. Oh, you too? Neat. Look at us, Gentle Mentals, with all this shit in common!

              So, that video left my jaw on the fuckin’ floor, and that’s when I went over to www.ericdubay.com. I can neither confirm nor deny that visiting this page puts you on any sort of NSA list, but if the NSA is keeping tabs (hello, special agent, how are ya), it maybe should focus some attention on the shit our boy Dubay’s proudly posted here. Red flag it if you ain’t already, you may thank me later. Imagine that! The federales thanking little ol’ me!  

   BTW: we’re “in country” now, so maybe get your tin-foil helmet on.

              A few sick bars and a shocking affinity for the OG Nazis ain’t the only radical thing about our boy Dubay. He moves in circles so fringe that they consider Alex Jones to be part of the “controlled opposition.” Dubay’s even a truther against other flat earth truthers. He goes hard on The Flat Earth Society for being “controlled opposition,” by pointing out the idiocy of their theory for what is really going on with “gravity” on a flat earth, which is that the earth is like a pizza crust tossed continually upwards, so…things don’t really fall, they’re just kind of suspended until the ground catches up to them. Yeah. The idea of controlled opposition is that you get a shill to be a very vocal idiot in order to discredit the more “legitimate” conspiracy investigators who have come too close to the truth. But who controls the controlled opposition? Remember when I told you to remember ODD TV’s reference to the Freemasons? The Sun Worshipers? The Satanists? Dubay says it’s them. He says that both The Flat Earth Society and NASA are chock full of Masons, Masons who are behind these lies. He claims NASA agents – whatever those are – have murdered flat earth truthers to maintain their grip on this elaborate illusion. And, in a series of infographics, he ain’t shy in explicitly linking these nefarious Masons directly to, you saw it, the Jews. He’s one of these New World Order, Jew World Order types. I realized I tossed that off kinda casually – he’s just one of those types – but let me assure you, I don’t do it dismissively. Dubay compares the way this global Jewish cabal runs the world’s affairs to the orchestrated sturm und drang of televised professional wrestling.

              So you gotta wonder why lying about the shape of the earth is so important to our crypto-kosher overlords. I sure as fuck needed to know the answer to that myself, and, like any conspiracy theorists before him, this is where Dubay stumbles somewhat. He’s got 200 proofs for the truth of the flat earth, but he’s less articulate as towards the damnable “why” of it all. As I’ve been able to understand of his position, Eric Dubay believes we’re indoctrinated with the spinning globe model of cosmology, because if the global elite of Freemasonic Zionists can brainwash everybody on such a fundamental level as the ground beneath our feet, they can deceive and control us in any other sinister way they fuck well feel like.  

              Y’all, I’m a great many things. I’m not an astrophysicist, so, to be honest, I’m not really interested in engaging with the specifics of these dudes’ arguments regarding round versus flat, because – you know the Family Guy throwaway joke where Peter’s at the Cineplex helpfully pointing out when somebody in the movie says the movie’s title – to quote Mr. Dubay himself, “It’s not about the shape; it’s about the lie.”

              Before I get deeper into this shit – yeah, you thought you were down the rabbit-hole already – I want to point out that if you want to get all this from the horse’s mouth, the last twenty or so minutes of the two-hour FAQ video on his site is my source for all this. And since getting deeper into this gets pretty heavy, I think we need a bit of a levity break, so, I present a riff on a few screen grabs from that video.

               First of all, it’s hard to tell – among the things I am is poor of vision – it looks like the letter G has been replaced by the number 6 in the phrase “Sacred Geometry. The Great Architect of the Universe. Gravity.” 666 is metal, but in this case you’re using it in a way that’s way too mental to be heaviest, fam. The Jews are Satanists too, remember? Luciferian nonsense is a thing Alex Jones dabbles in also. Second, Pythagoras was the leader of a cult that worshiped numbers. Pythagoras literally had a motherfucker 86ed because he felt that the concept of pi was blasphemous and threatening to him personally as a cult leader. The reason I’m scratching my head is that you might know pi as a pretty foundational concept in calculating the circumference of the globe. Globe. So, if he’s part of a cabal bent on convincing you the world is round, why would he be so violently opposed to that squiggly little Stonehenge-lookin’, 3.14 on to infinitum meanin’, mathematical concept that would support the whole damn thing? Anyway, here’s another.

              I think this is supposed to be an Illuminati thing, but all it proves to me is that many people have fingers, and covering one eye is an easy way to look mysterious and sexy. It’s not like they’re all holding their hands the same way either. If a person were to try to argue that Eric Dubay himself is part of the controlled opposition, I think this could be evidence of “too dumb to be serious.”

              But I wanna get serious again. Back to the investigation. I wanted to know what made this dude tick. Call yourselves Ishmael, because ol’ Dubay became my white whale, only in this version, I think we spear the shit out of Moby Dick. Truly, I believe that in the final portions of that long ass video I’ve been talking about, we see into his core – and unlike the molten core of the round earth we sheeple foolishly believe in – the heart of Eric Dubay is a frozen, Jotunheim-esque, barren fearscape.

              Eric Dubay’s animating impulse is this: a deep, incomprehensible terror that humanity has no purpose in existence. He believes that subscription to the ideas of the Big Bang and subsequent evolution of life on earth via the mechanism of natural selection is subscription to a fundamentally nihilistic outlook; if humanity has no reason – as he sees reason – to be, the crisis in his soul would be too great to bear. And, sure, I get that. But he has not coped well with that adolescent existential angst. If the universe is a vast and vastly complicated place, it’s a scary place to be at the fringe of, so, to bridge the rift of this Lovecraftian horror inside himself, he’s put himself at the center of debunking a conspiracy to shroud our planet’s central location in the universe; our planet’s non-rotating position, which is to say a position of stability. Stability. Think about how comforting a concept that is. Purpose. Stability. Simplicity. These are not abnormal desires, but our boy Dubay’s gone about attaining ‘em in an abnormally toxic fashion. And he’s certainly doing his damnedest to create the fellowship he craves though all his media outreach. Can’t blame a feller for not wanting to feel alone…but when Holocaust denial is such a big part of your identity, it’s – to put it politely – extremely fuckin’ troublesome that you want others to believe as you do.

              Dear reader, Gentle Mental, “Hypocrite Lecteur,”* if you’re wondering why the fuck any of this matters, this here’s that part of the article; buckle the fuck up. I believe that never before in human history has the battle against propaganda been more vital to the survival of the species. I’m typing this on Sunday, October 15, 2017, and the last headline I read was about Kim Jong threatening to bomb Guam if Trump don’t shut the fuck up about him on Twitter. We’ve got fucking lunatics at the trigger; we’ve got so much evidence that the Kremlin orchestrated the most effective “hearts and minds” campaign of the internet age; we’ve got tactics of division being employed by the most cynical and unhinged people of influence. So why should this flat earth shit matter? We’ve got all that more important shit I listed, right? Because flat earth’s your gateway conspiracy. Pretty soon, you’re hip-deep in the most virulent Protocols of the Elders of Zion bullshit.** Some conspiracy theorists have the…decency’s not the right word, so let’s start over. Some conspiracy theorists are crypto-anti-Semitic. OBVIOUSLY not our boy Dubay. Lemme quote from his song “Blood Rituals,” “You are blind, so fuck what you say / I’ll expose the flat earth and hail Hitler all day.” That’s so obviously dangerous, and the ideas of flat earth and anti-Semitism are so clearly linked, that we shouldn’t need to dwell, so I’ll move us along with this tossed out aside: fuck you, Richard Spencer, for ruining Tiki Torches, but thank you for being conveniently illustrative of the point that being a ringleader for Nazi sympathizers does in fact correlate to assholes in the street beating people and murdering them indiscriminately with cars.

 *Editor’s Note: Goddamnit, DB! After I chewed your ass for quoting Yeats that last time, you have the nerve to bring this Baudelaire shit to the table? I want a picture of Spider Man on my desk TOMORROW!!

 **Author’s Note: For an wonderfully illuminating examination of the history and influence of Protocols of the Elders of Zion, I highly recommend the July 27, 2017 episode of a podcast called Knowledge Fight. (http://knowledgefight.libsyn.com/size/25/?search=Protocols+of+the+elders+of+zion) Hosts Jordan and Dan do a thorough job of linking this fraudulent document DIRECTLY to Alex Jones’ framing of his favorite nemesis, the Globalist bogeymen, and even David Icke’s Reptilians. Do yourself a favor and dive into this podcast whole hog.

                Provided that even one fewer gullible cocksucker buys into the dangerous worldviews of somebody like ODD TV, Alex Jones, or Eric Dubay, I will deem all efforts to expose their nonsense worthwhile, valid, and necessary. I don’t believe I’m virtue signaling when I speak out in order to shed light on hucksters’ efforts to spread dangerous racial, religious, or national divisions. It isn’t trivial to examine how those divisions may be spread insidiously as the necessary expression of these ideas; symptoms of the cancer, boils on the ass of the corpus scientia. Alex Jones is right about at least one thing: we are fighting an info war. He’s on the wrong side of it, to be sure, but it’s the same sort of info war Mike Pence fought in when he performed his indignant pageant at the ball game. And I don’t think that in speaking against any of this nonsense I’m beating a dead horse. And I believe that speech is action. If I reiterate a point, it is at least my humble intention to bring new nuance. I believe that the one person who was teetering on the fence but saw the truth of these bonkers narratives could be the one person who might have otherwise been the next to take a gun to something like a DC pizza joint to find out if interdimensional, shape shifting, child-molesting, psychic vampires run the government. Or do something so much more tragic in the name of bringing down whatever conspiracy it is they’ve been taken in by.

              This’s the rock I reckon I’ll die on, should anybody respectfully disagree. Thank you for your time, Gentle Mentals, friends, fiends, and foes alike. It’s time to pray.

[furederiko]

What does a Policeman, Sheriff, and Rebellion have in common? Space. ...Because I'm talking about a Super Sentai multiverse crossover!

- Our episode begins right away with Madako SUCCESSFULLY stealing the Pyxis Kyu Globe! Don't know how this new sultry version was able to do that, it just sort of... happened. Off screen. Oh, in case you forgot why, we get a quick flashback of Scorpio commanding her to obtain the Carina Kyu Globe. How Madako even had the knowledge that Pyxis is the radar to locate the item is beyond me, but the most important thing is... she now accidentally gets sucked into a black hole. Yikes! - Since Pyxis is vital to their mission (though I'd argue they didn't really use it to locate Vela before), Leo Red simply ignores the factual threat of said black hole, and jumps in. Totally dragging his away team along with him. Speaking of team, this current away team consists of Lucky, Garu, Hammy, Naga and Commander Xiao this time. Why this particular combination, one wonders? Well, because aside from Hammy, the others are necessary to service the story. I'll get to this soon. - For some reason, our heroes pop out of the... MOON? Which means, yes, they are returning to Earth. But why does this one look... different? Is this even the same planet? NOPE, because a certain someone who witnesses their entrance kindly explains that arriving through a wormhole means... these illegal trespassers must have arrived from 'ANOTHER UNIVERSE'. Wait, WHAT? And this observer is none other than... Banban 'Ban' Akaza (Ryuji Sainei) of "Tokusou Sentai Dekaranger"! - Yeah, this brief moment of clarity firmly establishes that Kyuranger is NOT taking place in the same universe to previous, 40 Sentai seasons. So to those out there hoping for them to bump into everyone's favorite Gokaiger anytime soon (who have been established to be canon with Dekaranger, hence that crossover episode), don't get your hopes up too high. Unless the team stumbles upon another black hole once more. This also clears up the confusion to why no trace of Zyuland can be found on Kyuranger's Earth, meaning there's no continuity issue like I pointed out 17 weeks ago. Wait a sec, then how did they show up in "Doubutsu Sentai Zyuohger vs Shuriken Sentai Ninninger" then? Hmmmm... - Oh, and Deka Red isn't alone, because Geki Juumonji (Yuma Ishigaki) a.k.a Space Sheriff Gavan Type-G is present as well. Yep, not the original metal hero series Gavan, but the 2nd generation who debuted in "Uchuu Keiji Gavan: The Movie" a few years back. Is this a coincidence, then? Absolutely NOT. Considering "SPACE SQUAD: Space Sheriff Gavan vs Tokusou Sentai Dekaranger", the crossover movie between Dekaranger and Gavan Type-G is arriving on Japanese theatres tomorrow. Specifically Saturday, June 17th, 2017! Yes folks, that means you're not wrong if you see this as shameless marketing. LOL. - Lucky and Naga are confusedly admiring a Consumarz-free Earth, when they notice Geki is escorting Madako like the dumb-heroic gentleman he's always been. Cue the misunderstanding! Aaaah, Gavan Type-G is so metalic... and SHINY ("PIKA... PIKA...", says Naga), my eyes hurts. Oh, and Ophiucus Silver kindly explains why he's being paired up with Leo Red this time, because obviously Deka Red is going to pair up with Gavan Type-G. Don't sweat it, it's a kids show after all. Just your daily Red and Silver situation! LOL. - Adding further insult to the injury, two more Dekaranger members arrive to... arrest Garu, Hammy, and Xiao. Just as our poor Kyurangers are being dumbfounded to see an Earth with so much PEACE, smiles, and laughters. On what reason? Due to the lack of proper 'interplanetary visa', complete with a nice joke that works as a follow up to last week's ending. Officers in charge are none other than our brainy Senichi 'Sen' Enari (Yousuke Itou), and bathtub-enthusiast Koume 'Umeko' Kodou (Mika Kikuchi). They are Deka Green and Pink respectively, in case you're not familiar with Space Police Dekaranger. For the record, the timeline of this universe chronologically takes place after their "Tokusou Sentai Dekaranger 10 YEARS AFTER" V-Cinema. We're getting some development regarding this pair later in the closing scene, as a prove to that. One that also explains why Umeko still hasn't changed her family name into Enari... (^^) - Hold on, make that THREE members. Considering our 'trespassers' are immediately taken to the Neo Deka Base, where they get to meet... Chief Doggie Kruger (VA: Tetsu Inada). Obviously he's present to become direct comparison to Garu, or vice versa. The wolfman even calls him... "ANIKI!!!". LOL. It works the same with Xiao, because both are non-human anthropomorphic leaders of their respective teams. So yeah, it's one of that small dream-sequence that only Super Sentai fans would understand and appreciate... *grins*. It's genuine hillarious though, and easily my favorite part of the episode. NOTE: Too bad fan favorite Marika 'Jasmine' Reimon (Ayumi Kinoshita) is a no-show. Her actress had recently announced her 2nd pregnancy via her blog. So likely that's the reason behind her absence. - Hot-headed hot-blooded loud-mouthed Gavan and Leo Red are busy fighting, they practically let Madako go unscathed. Ophiucus Silver senses that something feels off, and stops the fight by... getting punched in the face. By BOTH. OOWWWW!! Naga also nails this next joke, thanks to his naive curiosity about 'Policeman'. A term that apparently does NOT exist in their "Star Wars"-inspired Jark Matter-infested universe. But seriously though, it's really these character moments that makes crossover stories so great. Hey, even Sharivan, Shaider, and the original Gavan are making quick flashback-cameo! - The whole comparison between 'Policeman' and 'Universe Saviors' needs to be put on hold though, because Madako is running away using Geki's Dolgiran. She's using the spaceshuttle as her escape route to return home, because as Doggie had stated before, the dimensional rift is closing soon. Thankfully, hitching a ride on Leo Voyager (with siren! LOL), Geki jumps into the ship to regain control. Simply by crashlanding it to the ground. YIKES! Call me weird... but I haven't seen the Gavan series yet, nor any of those Space Sheriff title. But on the other hand, I've always dig the Akira Kushida's theme song. It just sounds so cool, catchy and... addictive to listen to, eventhough it could be regarded as an old tune. Speaking of old, I also just noticed that aside from looking older and darker-skinned than the last I saw him (in that 2013 "Super Hero Taisen Z" movie, assuming my memory is sound), Geki seems to be more buffed than usual as well. In a country whose people are mostly skinny as a stick, that's... NICE! *grins* - Ban arrives on scene and saves the day! I guess Lucky and Geki are too good of a combi (they practically share the exact personality, even their names rhyme! LOL), the equally hyperactive hot-blooded Ban doesn't have a place, eh? Similar to Gavan Type-G, I didn't actually see Dekaranger because of this... thing with police-themed shows. But dang it, the Dekaranger BGM sounds cool as well, particularly that high-spirited theme song by PSYCHIC LOVER. Anyway, Ban's the Fire Squad Captain now? I didn't remember that from the 10 YEARS AFTER movie. Perhaps he has gotten promotion ever since? He explains that the other Kyurangers, as well as Dekarangers (appearing via stock footage only. Old footage is OLD!) are using Ryutei-Oh and Deka Wing to stall the wormhole from shrinking. So it's up to the Red-Silver Team to tidy up their side of the table then. - Deka Red and Leo Red team up to take on Madako (who is equally Red...), while Gavan and Ophiucus Silver deal with the Deathworm she brought. Their joint-finishers are amazing, particularly that last one with the galactic backdrop. Truly fan-service delight, after all... these ARE Space Heroes. I guess Madako is gone for good this time, huh? Rather unceremoniously too. But since every Super Sentai episode needs a giant mecha fight, of course the Deathworm grows large. How to deal with this situation, when the other Kyurangers are busy with the wormhole? Time for Gavan's Electronic Star-Beast Dol (it's the blue lower part of Dolgiran, by the way) to steal the show. But hold that thought, because Draco Voyager comes rushing in for a SWEET double dragon-mecha combi. I have had an inking suspicion that this episode is going to pull this off, ever since I read the headline that Gavan Type-G would be guest starring in Kyuranger. But I sure didn't expect Leo Red to jump towards to Voyager's head, in order to mimic Gavan's movement. Now THAT is what I call pleasant surprise! - Lucky and the others make it back safely to the Orion, where Spada, maid-Raptor and maid-Balance (seriously, he's Sentai official queer character, guys! At least... IMO) greet them with some piping hot Takoyaki. A rather cruel way to celebrate the absence of Madako, huh? Nah... likely because takoyaki are ball-shaped. Pyxis Kyu Globe is back in their possession, so now they can proceed to locate the final piece of Argo Navis. All's well ends well. Or is it? We see Stinger removing his Constellation Blaster and Rebellion jacket, replaces them with his desert cape, and walks away from the Rebellion HQ. This is the appearances of when he debuted in the show, serving as a rogue spy. Does this mean Stinger officially walks out from being a Kyuranger? Hence that solo V-Cinema? We'll see...

Overall: Naruhisa Arakawa, the same guy who wrote Dekaranger was in charge of this episode. And he's truly the man when it comes to crossovers. As proven by "Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger", Arakawa has a strong sense of what makes each separate series and their characters shine, hence why this episode came equipped with a good amount of fan-service moments for our genuine pleasure. It wasn't perfect, nope, because one mere episode was a bit too short and brief to be considered a full-on crossover. Especially one that involves three different series! Hence why the opening started off rather rough and rushed, and the absence of the remaining Dekarangers/Gavan supporting cast. Which honestly felt a little disappointing somehow. Plus, the non Red-Silver team was easily sidelined, to the point we didn't even see them transform nor fight together on screen. IMHO, this would've been way better as a 2-parter, to allow more character interactions and bonding, which is easily the gem of any crossovers. Minor nitpickings aside, this was obviously still MUCH better than that bland Ex-Aid episode. Thanks to that whole multiverse angle, I'm now crossing my fingers, in the hope that one day the Kyuranger eventually runs into Gokaiger, or other Sentai team that is not Zyuohger (because they WILL have a Versus movie next year). Here's hoping if such wishful thinking comes to life, Arakawa will be given the privilege to write one. At the very least, he needs to do another episode in this show! Next week: Battle for Carina! And forest...Elves? PS: There's no episode on June 18th due to annual Golf championship. Kyuranger will return on June 25th...

Episode 18 Score: 8 out of 10

Visit THIS LINK to view a continuously updated listing of the Kyutama / Kyu Globes. Last Updated: June 11th, 2017 - Version 2.04. (WARNING: It might contain spoilers for future episodes)

All images are screencaptured from the series, provided by the FanSubber Over-Time. "Uchu Sentai Kyuranger" is produced by TOEI, and airs every Sunday on TV-Asahi. Credits and copyrights belong to their respective owners.