#also the times are supposed to be in pm
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
okay just one more little thing. and then sleepy time
#i just wanna whine a little bc irl i am not supposed to be affected by this#but my cardiologist said my diagnostic tests are all surgery level and she’s wonderful and has this ‘i don’t treat the tests and numbers#but the patient and their symptoms’ and i mean i go HIKING and do gym and everything so im very glad she’s also understanding and takes#everything into account and like all in all its good and it will be okay bc im monitoring it and everything#and also finally seem to have an actual proper diagnosis after 6 years of being not sure#so that’s all good but my thing is. like a little baby loser im scared and i don’t like it#she told me i needed to get a blood work thing done and was surprised she hadn’t told me to do it before#and i thought nothing of it but then later i looked it up and its a heart failure biomarker which just. i mean that IS what it is but it’s#fawking scary i hate to admit it. and when he was genuinely surprised that i can climb up stairs (while doing my ultrasound)#it’s just. i don’t know. i don’t like it and im scared i don’t wanna go into surgery and i don’t wanna have to do it so many times either#and my big thing is always avoidance so I’m always just on the cusp of stopping going to the doctors#seriously the only thing that had me go in at all this time was the fact that at the mandatory work medical checkup#they said i had to have my cardio’s opinion or they wouldn’t let me work#which sounds so tragic HDKJSKS also idk where this was even going im literally fine and people have it way worse#it’s just pathetic loser ana time which happens very very rarely.. prob bc my#perido is like a week late and im experiencing all kinds of pms#ANYWAY. BED TIME.
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
work pissing me the fuck offfff bro
#for the sake of brevity my day was going to be leave home in my car at 9:30. start 10:00. stay with them as social support for 3 hours.#maybe have some lunch with them or right after depending. drive 20 or so minutes to pick someone up at 2:00#technically it is rostered as 2:30 but they usually finish earlier lately. drive them home which takes around 25 mins. then drive another 20#to do a clean at 3ish for roughly an hr to 1.5 hrs. then drive home for 20-30 minutes. that was going to be my day#these fuckwits decide at 9:25 to message me that there is a roster change. I now have to go somewhere inbetween 1:00 and 2:30 for an hour#long clean. which is also 20 minutes away from my first client. then drive another 20 or even 30 minutes to pick the person up. followed#by the next person. I call them to say hey can you at least tell the transport client because they might be waiting an extra hour than they#expect to. this person is 91 years old by the way. they say oh yeah I will text them. I say could you try call to let them know? they say#the same thing again. on top of this it's just super fucking annoying#I'm also meant to have an hour lunch break as per my roster agreement. tell me where you see any possible gap between 9:30 and basically#5 fucking pm where I could even have ten minutes to myself. thankfully my first client is pretty easy going so I'll have some lunch then#I suppose. that is besides the point though#plus I get like... a few dollars above what is the Australian minimum wage per hour#anyway I'm so sick of this shit they did this yesterday too. multiple times over the last two months and tbh most of last year too
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Those memes that are like 'Do NOT ask me to do anything after 8 PM because I will say no.'... Brother, bump that up to maybe 4 or 5 PM maybe and you would have me.
#personal#Signs I should not be an adult at all. Like I want to be HOME at dinnertime so I can relax right after.#I know I keep reiterating it but having to be at work and BEING at work when it's still pitch black outside doesn't help.#At my earliest I start at 3 AM now. At my latest? 5 AM.#Getting off at 2 PM is nice I suppose but I'm so TIRED after work.#Oh also it doesn't help that the sun fucking sets at those two times in the next few coming months now...#Like if it's dark out? My mind is just automatically like 'Oh it's bed time!' and it's fucking 4:30 PM.... 4:30!
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Osamu Dazai and the Depressing Era
#I have so many thoughts through my mind these days I was barely able to focus on the episode. I kept zoning out#I made barely any post#Okay some thoughts. The thing that really hit me since the first time watching b/sd... Is the–#“I don't kill people because I want to write about lives” “I start doing good because my friend asked me to”#Like I get grey morals and everything but also. Sorry for being so simplistic but I think everyone should do good / not kill people–#because killing people is bad lol. No because of other personal reasons#I really *really* feel b/sd ultimately has a very nihilistic approach to life.#And that when Oda said “You won't find a reason to live whether side you're on. Both sides are the same.” it's not Oda-character talking–#but it's really the author expressing their own worldview through the one character that's the most distinguished#They really think there's no difference between good and bad in their little nihilistic world.#Which is something I personally don't agree with.#“It is a given that everything that is worth wanting will be lost the moment I obtain it”#......... No it's not you just need to go to the shore and listen to the waves crush and the seagulls squeal dude. It's going to be okay.#That's why it's so easy to portray Dazai as perfect and flawless for the author btw.#Because nothing he ever did in the pm was wrong if “good” and “bad” don't mean anything to begin with.#And this is coming from a deeply relativist person. But I believe even grey morals have a limit.#Thus my general disagreement with most b/sd themes#I don't know why I went off this tangent btw I didn't intend to.#I suppose it bears repeating once in a while where I stand compared to the b/sd themes and my personal interpretation of them#(Even though I acknowledge most people don't agree with such interpretation... )#There were other things regarding the episode I needed to say but I forgot...#One of them was that season 2 Dark Era proves that even amv openings can actually be good if you put enough budget in them#Which makes me even more pissed at the season 3 / season 5 ops#random rambles
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hiatus
I am going on hiatus for a bit more. I really really hoped the stuff that have been going on lately were already "sorted out" but, uhm... they aren't. I need to take a bit more time offline once again, and try to work things out.
Thank you for your patience ❤
Wren
#EDIT: I've deactivated my IG for a bit because it wasn't helping at all. I'll be back there but I need time#wren text tag#somehow issues from mid July/early August have managed to get worse. Like I'm not even surprised bc I'm used to it but GIRL . What the fuck#“it's finally summer”+“can't wait to draw!” * gets 3 hiatus in a row * maybe drawing or summer isn't really meant to be 🤨🤔#I hate having to log-in to post a hiatus message and then dissapear again when I'm supposed to post my doodles n have fun#Feels like one of those jesters that appears at luncheon to entertain the royal court and then they go missing for the rest of the month#bc I'm trying very hard not to hide in my shell + having a bit more presence here to post my artwork#and somehow I fail at both like fucking heck. How can you be so bad at this.#but in short I won't be here to answer stuff and being silly or whatever people expect me to do#because if you're here for the silly stuff. MAN. I'm am sorry but I don't feel silly at all.#Somebody once said “the horrors are never ending yet I remain silly” but I forgot the “remain silly” part#And if you're here for drawings. I don't even have time and I don't feel like drawing at all. Idk which one is worse#The bakery hangs up the “closed today” so people know they have to go to buy bread somewhere else. Same here. But it won't last a day#idk why the bread analogy. Guess I'm a birb after all#this is also the closest thing to a vent post I will ever write and I managed to say nothing at all. Vagueposting about vent. Good job Wren#tw: vent#tagging in case somebody like me needs to have some tags filtered#the hiatus will go on also a bit longer because the last few weeks my mental health suffered a lot and I know my limit#also this post was queued. If I see I can still be active before publishing I will delete it otherwise see for yourself#also queue doesn't work ig like I programmed this for 9 pm hopefully it will be up by then and not any other random time
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
also no hunger games for me :( i wont watch it in theaters
#like i went to sleep telling my dad we're gonna watch it tmrw book tickets#and he was like u get up and we'll see what happens no need to book tickets and he was so tired of me#cuz i kept asking like this whole week cuz i knew then only they'll take me#and like so today i get up and my mom is like we have to go to this family dinner today so cant watch any time later than 12#and there was a show of 12:50 pm in 4dx i started getting ready right i woke up at 12:10 mind u#and my father comes yelling that u cant take food or drinks there we cant go#and sayign if u woke up at 10 we might have went and like dude...u didnt even tell me THE TIMINGS OF WHEN WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GO#HOW TF WAS I SUPPOSED TO WAKE UP#and then tmrw also we cant go and then the next weekend i have to study and then the next weekends my exams so
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
I Am Going To Lose My Shit :)
#froggie personal#yall tell me why I feel like shit rn#the POTS is handing my ass to me today#I felt like shit yesterday too but I foolishly thought that it was a one-off day#like I need to eat something cause my stupid ass PMS symptoms are making me hungry#which in turn makes my POTS flare up#but I'm also nauseous so I don't wanna eat cause throwing up is a No#and at work some mom complained to my boss (I teach swim lessons) cause I couldn't work with her kid very much#like I'm sorry that another parent came in with their kid WHEN THEY WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO#AND HAD US TAKE HIM SO WE COULDN'T WORK WITH EVERYONE THE ENYIRE TIME#and your kid almost had a meltdown when you tried to out her in the water so pardon me-#-I didn't want to be a random stranger that dragged her into deep water and made her freak out#like jesus christ the kid is 2 I'm sorry that I didn't want to scare her away from the water but she's literally a toddler#and holy shit why am I so tired I've done legitimately nothing today#like I slept until 10 and conveniently missed my morning practice#only worked for an hour and emptied the damn dish washer#why did I have to lay down for an hour after work and now lay down again#and to top it all off my skin is acting up because of course it is#so now it's both dry as shit and super itchy#please I just need the shit to stop for a little bit
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
frequent headaches? #justgirlythings
#im giving it another week before i go to my doctor#gonna get more sleep; more exercise; try to reduce screen time in case its just eyestrain#ive been at home a lot more lately staring at my phone/computer & not as active as i used to be#im also supposed to get my period soon so it might be pms headaches? i get bad pms depression so why not severe pms headaches 🤷🏻♀️#andddd i learned yesterday my grandma & mom also had chronic frequent headaches. soooo genetics?#dont mind me im just rambling about health!#my brain is just trying to escape containment i think#SINUSES. my sinuses hate the cold. maybe theyre rebelling
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
i'm yet to actually watch (puella magi star kaomoji) madoka magica (will probably do after my final exams week) but i feel like i can say that with homura's speech about love being "more passionate than hope and deeper than despair" and turning into literal devil just to make the "girl she loves" happy and safe...
either those two are lesbians or they have a very very extremely devoted friendship. because i swear to God.
#𓇬 ⸝ txt. ⌨️#( pm ☆ mm )#<- already saving the tag#either way#good for them#<- lying. they're the most tragic couple (of besties question mark) i've seen in a LOOOONG while#i /would/ say i wish for them to have a happy ending but i prefer to not get my hopes up#with that said#i'm planning to watch the main anime and the movies in time for me to walpurgisnacht rising and not lose. like. the hype#but i suppose i'll have plenty of time to do so since apparently it took six years for that movie to be annouced after rebellion was . . .#released ????#which. glad the team is actually putting care on their work. but holy shit.#the main anime has. what. 12 episodes . . . ? so i think it'll be easy for me to catch up on time#no idea if i'm going to read the mangas tho.#also the art style and aesthetic of pmmm is sooooo good !!! obssessed with it fr fr
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
today’s been a bad day and one of my friends is practically begging me to let him vent to me and my other friend is picking a fight right now and i can’t remember the last time i saw another person aside from my girlfriend. she makes it better but makes everything worse. i have a meeting tomorrow i swore i’d sleep early for but now i just. i don’t know what i want.
#it's weird because like... i'm the lucky one? the good one? the fine one? what's even the word for this#i'm not causing drama i'm handling things fine i'm making plans.#but i feel like i'm fucking breaking#and it's just PMS but i've felt uneasy for the entire last two months i just#i feel like i was in a stupor where i had to keep seeing my girlfriend or else everything would fall apart#but it's been a while since i last saw someone that wasn't my girlfriend. since last wednesday i guess.#and now any time she texts me i literally just want to tear my hair out like#i'm not this person this isn't what i'm supposed to be doing. i feel literally plastic.#everything i say is like. someone's already said the exact same thing. i can't do conversations right i can't do them unique.#on friday when i was with my girlfriend i felt wrong the entire fucking time#i think part of that was because i really don't like kissing to be honest#but also because like. i was not a human being. that was not a person in there#i felt neutral. we watched a show and i couldn't keep track of anything that happened#and i was resting against her but i couldn't like. remember it. feel it.#every time i get like this i KNOW if i just sleep i'll feel okay again#but that doesn't even feel real. when was the last time i actually felt a positive feeling?#it was a few hours ago but like. gone. whatever. discarded.#why did i think a healthy relationship would fix it?#neg#dont rb
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
At the end of the day I always end up alone
#my grandma brought fancy fancy fancy champagne and I don’t normally drink#and everyone thought it was soooo funny until they decided they were going to bed and got mad I wouldn’t calm down at 8 pm#it’s barely night time#im kind of sad#it would be nice if someone wanted me#though I suppose to be fair my grandma and my aunt are using this trip to run away from shitty partners so I guess it could be worse#it just also could be better#im out on the balcony and its cold and I can’t see the ocean#and there’s a second chair out here and it would be nice if I wasn’t alone#i’ll probably delete this later
0 notes
Text
Athena give me strength for I have to go to a doctor's appointment once again.
#dragon's stupid thoughts#using random gods is funny for this me thinks#was'n she also some sorta goddess of war? so it's kinda fitting#it's not a bad doctor I just hate it to wait until it's time to head out#was home from school at ~1:30pm and the appointment is at ~4:45 pm#the fuck am I supposed to do there
1 note
·
View note
Text
i don't wanna lose this with you a spiderman gojo fic
pairing ⸺ spiderman!gojo x reader
summary ⸺ an amalgation of misunderstandings and stress lead to a very big fight between you and satoru, but you certainly don't expect the way he wins you back.
warnings ⸺ college au, spiderman!au, angst, hurt/comfort, i warn you reader might infurate you, but she's just a woman in stem :(, tooth rotting fluff bc he's a loser for his gf, not edited sue me
playlist ⸺ quantum rizzics
a/n you'll probably need to read the first installation (nsfw, so mdni) to understand this one :3
general masterlist | spiderman!gojo m. list
you've blocked gojo on all platforms.
you don't really remember what caused the "break up" (you didn't really break up). maybe it's the fact that you've been stressed about grad school admissions, your dorm's floor was covered in his boxers, and he's never been able to visit you pre-3am these days. somehow, the city's criminals are determined to keep your boyfriend away from you, and maybe it was your pms, or maybe it was truly just because satoru is annoying. regardless, it's when you guys have plans that's not an impromptu healing-gojo's-wounds-in-your-dorm-at-3am sesh and you're waiting at the coffee shop that you explode.
because he was supposed to arrive ten minutes ago, and when you move to go to the bathroom, you see him. through the window, his white hair is never not noticeable, and who you see next to him makes you falter.
he's standing next to a girl with blue tinted silver hair that you recognize as mei mei, and she's gripping his upper arm as she smiles while looking at his face, his lips with such fuck me eyes that you could tell they were having some sort of intimate conversation.
and if it were an ideal day, you would know that it's all a misunderstanding, you would know your boyfriend is someone you trust. but, again, the cards were stacked against you, and the only things that go through your mind all make your eyes all glossy. he's late to the one date that you planned because you and him were finally free at the same time and you've been busy because you've been desperately applying for internships because unlike your boyfriend you don't have a plethora of papers and coding experience and you've been getting four hours of sleep on average this week and ugh you've heard a rumor that satoru used to hook up with her and fuck now your tampon is poking at you in the wrong way—
great. now tears are fully streaming down your cheeks. in public.
as you rush to the table where your stuff is your vision is so blurry that you also almost fall flat on your face as you stumble over the legs of chairs and tables. blurting out a ensemble of choked up sorry's and excuse me's you hurriedly gather your laptop and notebooks in your backpack and book it for the exit.
the biting cold stings at your face, but you nevertheless determinedly move in the opposite direction of where satoru and mei mei are situated, praying your boyfriend doesn't recognize you. however, it seems that the heavens are working against you because you hear a yelled "baby?"
you don't look back because you know a new set of tears will leave your eyes, and with it being finals season, you're not very hydrated to being with. but you hear footsteps running towards you and fuck your boyfriend's long ass legs because he quickly catches up to you. then, he grabs your hands, attempting to stop you from running away and face him.
"baby," he breathes, baby blue eyes looking into yours as he moves to kiss your forehead. you stay silent, pinning your gaze to the ground while shivering. "where are you going? aren't we supposed to hang out right now?"
look, you and gojo have a good relationship. but recently, things have gotten...strenuous lately. you guys haven't been communicating, and it might not help that half of your calorie intake was from energy drinks. or perhaps what lead you to say what you said next was driven entirely by the brain eating mold on your unwashed dishes, but dumb excuses aside, you sneer. "shouldn't you be busy doing that with mei mei, instead?"
a small part of you--the part that knows you shouldn't be like this--feels relief that hurt doesn't immediately flash across his eyes, only confusion. but lack of sleep has not only stripped away at your sanity but also your people pleasing and overthinking tendencies, leaving you only as a girl frustrated, even irrationally angry, with her boyfriend. so you only avert your gaze when he dumbfoundedly asks, "what?"
"what do you mean, "what?"" you scoff, wrenching your hand from his grasp. "you were ten minutes late to our meet-up, gojo." it is at your use of his last name, instead of your sweet my love, that the hurt you've been looking for flashes across his eyes. he moves to speak but you cut him off, no longer wishing to be here with him. "if you're so busy talking to bitches you hooked up with before, why did you even bother saying yes to hanging out with me?"
he looks at you in confusion, eyes quickly flitting back and forth across you. then, slowly, as if he's still processing the weight of your accusations, he says, "i don't exactly know what you're referring to, but let's calm down---"
and you see red.
"calm down?" you snap, voice sharp and icy, just like the wind stinging your cheeks. "did you seriously just tell me to calm down? you were late again, gojo, and i find you chatting it up with her?" you practically spit the word, arms crossing as a flimsy defense against both the cold and the ache building in your chest.
satoru blinks, his confusion genuine, but you’re too far gone to care. "wait—mei mei? is this about mei mei? she's not—"
"don’t you dare finish that sentence," you cut him off, your voice rising as your blood boils hotter. "i don't want to hear how she's just a friend, or how it's not what it looks like. i’m so tired of hearing the same bullshit excuses."
"baby, you're jumping to conclusions—"
"and you’re jumping at the chance to look like an idiot in public," you snap, your hands trembling now, either from the cold or your rising fury. "god, what do you even say to her? let me guess, you go around telling girls you're spider-man to get into their pants, huh? bet that works like a charm."
the accusation hits like a slap, and for the first time, satoru looks genuinely stunned, his mouth falling open slightly. "what the hell are you even saying right now?"
"am i wrong?" you let out a bitter laugh, one that echoes in the frosty air. "you’re late to the one date i actually planned, and i see you with her, all cozy, like i’m not even waiting for you. like i don’t even matter."
his eyebrows knit together, frustration mixing with something softer. "you seriously think i’d—"
"i don’t know what to think anymore, satoru!" the words burst out of you, your voice cracking as hot tears well in your eyes. "all i know is that i can’t keep feeling like this. like i’m some afterthought while you’re out doing—whatever it is you do. swinging through the city or flirting with your exes or—" you choke on the words, wiping at your cheeks furiously as the tears spill over. "just forget it. i’m done."
"wait." his voice is quieter now, more desperate as he steps toward you, his hand reaching out. "baby, come on, we can talk about this—"
"no," you say firmly, jerking your hand away before he can grab it. "i’m blocking you. on everything." then, mockingly, "you can figure out how to save the world without me."
his eyes widen, his mouth opening like he’s about to plead or argue, but you don’t wait for him to speak. you turn on your heel and storm away, the cold wind biting at your skin as the lump in your throat grows heavier.
you don’t look back. not when he calls your name, not when you hear his footsteps falter. you just keep walking.
it’s 3 a.m., and you don’t know if you exist.
well, you do, but after how light you feel after you’ve cried a disgusting amount, you just lie down on your floor staring at the ceiling and contemplating the meaning of life. or more specifically, the meaning of your life, which right now feels like it’s revolving around nothing but stress and a breakup you don’t even fully understand.
you wouldn’t be having these problems if you were a childless cat lady.
but alas, you’re just a college student. in the few days where you haven’t seen satoru, you’ve finished all your finals—miraculously, considering the fragile state of your emotional wellbeing—and now you’re finally on break in your dorm. you’re supposed to go back home in two days, but the thought of packing feels like trying to climb a mountain barefoot. you can’t summon the energy to do anything except wallow in your self-pity and selfishness, letting it wrap around you like a weighted blanket that’s somehow comforting and suffocating all at once.
you’d like to say this is rock bottom, but truthfully, it’s worse than that. because rock bottom implies a kind of finality—a place to push off from. this? this feels more like you’re sinking in quicksand, the weight of everything dragging you further down.
in your stress and impulsiveness, you’ve managed to kill your entire grind for internships. deadlines have slipped past while you spent hours doom-scrolling job boards and second-guessing every application. the ambitious, career-focused version of yourself feels like a stranger now, buried under the weight of your own doubts and insecurities. and on top of that, you may have potentially lost the love of your life.
it’s laughable, really, how thoroughly you’ve managed to self-destruct in such a short time. the worst part? you can’t even bring yourself to check your socials. if you unblock him and see there aren’t any messages, you think your heart might shatter completely. which, if you’re being honest, isn’t exactly fair to him. you’re the one who had the meltdown. you’re the one who blocked him on everything. he probably doesn’t even know what he did wrong because you didn’t even communicate anything.
your stomach twists at the thought, guilt mingling with the ever-present ache of missing him. he was supposed to be the one person who made everything feel a little less impossible, and now you’ve pushed him away.
there has got to be a taylor swift song for this.
so you make your way to your spotify account to listen to afterglow, putting in your airpods while somberly looking at the ceiling once again as the lyrics fill your ears. tears well up as soon as the lyrics start
i blew things out of proportion, now you're blue⸻
tears well up before you can stop them, hot and heavy as they trail down your cheeks. god, you’re a mess. and yet, as much as you hate it, you can’t seem to stop the flood of thoughts that follow.
you miss him. you miss the way he made you laugh even when you were on the verge of tears, the way his ridiculous confidence somehow made you feel like everything would work out. you miss how he’d stay up late just to facetime you when you were overwhelmed with schoolwork, how he always seemed to know exactly when you needed him most.
and now? now you’ve gone and ruined it. maybe he’s angry, maybe he’s hurt, or worse—maybe he’s just done with you entirely.
the thought makes your chest ache, your breaths coming in shallow and uneven as the lyrics hit their crescendo.
i need to say, hey, it’s all me, in my head—
then, suddenly the song changes. you frown as you hear early 2010's pop blast through your ears.
i threw a wish in the well, don't ask me i'll never tell⸻
why the fuck is call me maybe playing?
annoyed and rubbing at your eyes, you move the change it back to, now, the sad girl hours playlist spotify curated for your and assume your dead fish position on the floor once again.
however, it seems as if your spotify is genuinely tweaking, like it's realized it’s gotten your attention. when call me maybe starts playing again, you groan out loud and move your phone. but before you have a chance to switch the song again, it seems to switch.
baby by justin bieber.
call me, blondie.
i love you, i'm sorry, gracie abrams.
letstalkaboutit, aminé.
i don't understand but i luv you, seventeen.
please please please, sabrina carpenter.
and then, once more, as if to really drive the point home: call me maybe, carly rae jepsen.
again, it's 3am, and you're stuck in a surreal mix of grief and confusion, staring at your phone as your spotify queue seems to have gained sentience. each song feels like a pleading nudge, an unmistakable pattern forming, and your blood runs cold when you remember one very important fact.
you share a spotify account with satoru.
"carly rae jepsen," you mutter under your breath, a mix of exasperation and fondness bubbling up despite yourself. he's hijacking your queue. right in the middle of your emo songs.
you sit up abruptly, tossing your airpods onto the bed, and hover over the call button on your phone. there’s a split second of hesitation—your pride battling with your longing—before you give in and press it.
the line rings twice before his voice comes through, breathless, like he’s been pacing. "baby?"
the sound of his voice sends a fresh wave of emotion crashing over you, sharp and raw like an open wound. the sound of his voice makes your stomach twist uncomfortably, equal parts relief and guilt. "satoru," you say, barely above a whisper. "why are you messing with our spotify?"
"why am i messing with our spotify?" he echoes, his tone incredulous. "why did you block me on literally everything? what was i supposed to do—send you a letter by carrier pigeon?"
you wince at the edge in his voice, your earlier anger wilting under the weight of his hurt. "i… i don’t know," you admit, the words tumbling out before you can catch them. "i was upset, and i wasn’t thinking straight. i shouldn’t have done that."
"yeah, you shouldn’t have," he says, still sounding a little indignant, though there’s something softer beneath it now. "do you know how many songs i had to go through to make my point? do you know how hard it was to resist the urge to rickroll you instead?" then, there’s a pause on his end, the line suddenly feeling too quiet. then he sighs, his voice softening into something that feels too much like an apology. "i didn’t know what else to do. i hate not talking to you. i hate knowing i made you upset, even if i don’t entirely understand why."
you close your eyes, the lump in your throat returning with a vengeance. the silence stretches between you, thick and unbearable, until you finally break it. "i’m sorry," you whisper, the words slipping out before you can stop them. "i shouldn’t have blown up at you like that.” and now that the dam has been broken, it all comes rushing out as you start choking up. “i’ve just been so stressed, and i’ve been missing you and then i saw you with her and then got irrationally angry when i really should’ve trusted you and oh my god i’m like a possessive tradwife husband that doesn’t let you leave the farm i’m sorry and i didn’t even communicate before i blew up at you like that—”
"hey. hey, hey, it’s okay," he says immediately, his tone filled with an earnestness that makes your chest tighten. "i know things have been hard for you. i should’ve been better, too. more present. i hate that you’ve been feeling like this while i’ve been...doing spider-man things." then, he lets out a dramatic sigh, the kind that’s equal parts exasperation and playfulness. "but wasn’t fair,” and you can hear a whine in his voice, “you blocked me and then ghosted me like i’m some kind of random tinder match. do you have any idea how insane i felt when i couldn’t even check to see if you were okay? i thought you hated me."
your breath catches at his words, guilt twisting like a knife in your chest. "i don’t hate you," you say quickly, the words spilling out in a rush. "i could never hate you. i was just… stupid, and emotional, and i didn’t know how to handle everything piling up. i’m so, so sorry, satoru."
there’s a pause, and when he speaks again, his voice is quieter, a little more vulnerable. "then why did you say those things? about mei mei, and… and me using the spider-man thing to get into girls’ pants."
you bite your lip, the memory of your harsh words making your throat tighten. "i didn’t mean any of it," you whisper. "i was just lashing out, and i know it wasn’t fair to you. i know you’d never do something like that, and i trust you, satoru. i just… i let my insecurities get the better of me."
"wait," he interrupts, his voice laced with amusement that shouldn’t make your heart ache the way it does. "you actually think i’d use the spider-man thing as a pickup line? that’s...wow. that’s genius. i should write that down."
"satoru!" you exclaim, half-laughing, half-crying, your emotions unraveling all over again. "i’m being serious!"
"i know, i know," he says, but you can hear the smile in his voice, warm and teasing. "and i’m being serious, too. i’d never do that to you. mei mei’s just...she tripped in front of me, i was just helping her up. i didn’t even realize how it must’ve looked, but i’ve never done anything with her. you’re it for me, okay? always."
you sniffle, wiping at your cheeks as your heart swells and aches all at once. "you mean that?"
"of course i do," he says, his voice soft and sincere in a way that makes your breath hitch. "i love you, even when you block me on everything and make me resort to spotify warfare." he sighs again, but this time it’s softer, the warmth in his voice breaking through his remaining irritation. "i’m not mad. i mean, i was mad, but mostly i was just upset. you really hurt my feelings, you know?"
the lump in your throat grows, your guilt threatening to choke you. "i know," you say, your voice cracking. "i’m so sorry, satoru. i’ll make it up to you, i promise."
"oh, you will make it up to me," he says, the teasing edge returning to his tone. "i want a week of boyfriend privileges—no complaining when i steal your fries, no making fun of my movie picks, and you’re buying me snacks for at least three of those days."
a small smile tugs at your lips despite the tears still clinging to your lashes. "deal," you say softly.
there’s a pause on his end, and then his voice comes through the line, quieter but no less sincere. "you really mean it? you’re not still mad at me?"
"i’m not mad," you say, your voice thick with emotion. "i was never really mad at you, satoru. i was mad at everything else, and i took it out on you. but i’m not mad anymore. i just… i miss you."
"i miss you too," he says, and the raw honesty in his voice---the subtle way it chokes up, as if he had been crying and missing you too---makes your chest ache. "so, can i come over? or are you going to make me keep hijacking your playlists to get your attention?"
you laugh softly, the sound tinged with relief. "just come over already, you dummy. and bring snacks. good ones."
"done," he says, his grin audible through the phone. "i’ll be there in twenty. and for the record, you owe me at least a whole playlist dedicated to how amazing i am and you sucking the absolute soul out of my dick---."
"don’t push your luck," you reply, but there’s no heat in your words, only warmth (and you’re absolutely going to suck his soul out of his cock). regardless, for the first time in days, the tightness in your chest starts to ease, replaced by something lighter, something whole.
general masterlist | spiderman!gojo m. list
a/n he's so cute :( i'll keep on writing stuff for them whether it be small fics like this or long ass fics. i think my next one is gonna be freaky if you guys are nice to this one
TAGLIST im really sorry if i missed you if you sent an ask asking to be tagged pls feel free to remind me again im afriad ur ask has drowned in my shitposts and other asks
@chilichopsticks @livelaughloveisagiyoichi @moonchhu @k0z3me @seobluv
@m1gota @celloccino @satxoru @fishrene @myahfig4
@watermelonmuntchers @bxnfire @ayumilk @venussdovess @michelleeveline
@bochichi @applepi25 @6xillaa @almostdifferentstudent @mugamoo
@iv-vee @jaemissso @wil10wthetree @localartisttttt @rirk-ke
@backinmyphase @novaisbebita @heiejdhdh @blueemochii @helloalex80
@gojodickbig @kyon-cherri @nikkissecretlibrary @omg-its-rdj @isleqt
@suguruscousin @idkwhatursayinh @yourfavbabigirl
#aashi writes#gojo x reader#gojo smut#gojo x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk#jjk fic#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#spiderman!gojo
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
bucky barnes x fem!reader cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, public sex, boss/employee relationship a/n: i just watched brave new world so <3333 this is based on the request i am going to answer in a few moments.
1:30 pm, and a quick call to your desk. "sweetheart, could you come in here for a minute?" his voice crackled through the receiver. you knew what that meant.
not even five minutes later, he had you bent over the dark mahogany in his office, your pencil skirt hiked up around your hips, the pretty pink panties you'd worn for him pushed to the side so his cock could pump in and out of you with ease.
"fuck, mr. barnes," you whimpered, taking your bottom lip between your teeth. your hands slid as they pressed down on scattered papers beneath them.
a chuckle came from behind you. his hands gave your hips a squeeze. you could feel the mechanical flex on your left side.
"what'd i tell you about calling me that?" he asked.
"that- mmm- that i should only do it at work, but- ah!" you tried to explain, cut off by his tip brushing against a sensitive spot inside you. gripping the edge of the desk, you steeled yourself to finish your sentence. "but, technically, we're still at work, sir."
you heard him hum in acknowledgement, and in your mind, you could all but see that cute little smirk on his face. the one reserved for you. even when you were just his secretary, you were still the only one who got to see it so freely.
"smart girl. i guess that is true," he said, completing his statement with a particularly hard thrust.
you squeaked at the impact, and your eyes rolled back. despite your own noise, you were just happy the desk wasn't budging an inch under his momentum.
"but since we're 'at work,' you also know that you're supposed to be quiet," he said, his voice much lower and much closer to your ear. you could feel the crisp fabric of his suit against your back. his tie feathered along your side, causing you to squirm back on him.
"i- i am," you stammered.
"yeah? you think this is quiet? quiet enough that if anybody walked by those doors, they wouldn't hear you whining for me?" he whispered.
words of defense didn't come to mind. instead, you gasped as he nuzzled into your neck, planting open-mouthed kisses along your throat. your walls clamped around his length. you squeezed him, sucked him in with everything you had, your body wordlessly crying more, more, more.
"we wouldn't want any rumors going around, would we? people already talk about how cute my little secretary is, how she chases after me with stars in her eyes," he practically cooed. "they warn me about you, you know. i don't wanna get caught up in a scandal after all."
your knees almost give out beneath you, but being squished between him and the desk keeps you in place.
you knew what he was saying was true. people did talk about you and him. speculated if your relationship went beyond what was appropriate for a representative and his secretary. but fuck, you didn't care. not while sitting at your desk during the day or laying in his arms at night, and you certainly didn't care when he was fucking you like you'd been made just for him.
"they won't," you finally answered, words closer to a babble now. "they won't hear. only you can hear."
his lips curled into a smile against your skin. "that's right, baby. only me," he said with a soft peck to your cheek.
the moment of tenderness was brief though. his mechanical hand slid around to grasp your throat, giving him more leverage to drill into you.
at this point, you were right on the edge. he had settled into a rhythm that stroked you just right every time. your release was coming closer and closer every second.
you sucked in another ragged breath, unable to get the words out to articulate what you felt inside. but that was ok. he knew all your tells. he recognized the shaky legs and grabby hands and pulsing grip of your cunt.
his hand that wasn't on your neck wrapped around your body and snaked its way between your legs. the warm flesh of his fingertips swirled over your clit, rubbed back and forth in rapid stripes to give you the final push.
"i know, baby. i know it feels so good, and i know you're gonna be a good girl and stay quiet. so cum for me," he murmured.
just in case, you covered your mouth with your palm. your body spasmed as you let release wash over you. to your surprise, you did remain quiet for the most part. only a few little sounds of ecstasy escaped your lips for your hand to muffle.
he groaned right into your ear, the noise quiet to the entire world except for you. it was only a matter of seconds before you felt the familiar burst of warmth and the uneven jolts of his hips against your backside.
once the two of you had both finished, you each took a few seconds to catch your breath. you couldn't take too long however because his lunch break was ending, and it wouldn't take a genius to figure out the both of you were doing a little more than going over briefings in here.
he eased out of you and then helped you clean up a bit. your panties fell back into place while your skirt unbunched to cover up your thighs again. you glanced in the mirror on the wall to make sure your makeup hadn't smudged. with a tug of your blazer, you were ready to go back out there.
"not even gonna give me a kiss before you go?" he asked.
that brought a little smile to your face. when you turned to him once again, he was put back together too. no remnants of you on his suit, all the buttons together again, every strand of his hair in place.
you leaned in for what was supposed to be a quick peck. but his arm looped around your waist and held you close for a few moments longer. your shy eyes connected with his when he finally let you pull away. he gave you a pat on the ass as you went to walk away.
"i'll see you after work, mr. barnes," you said with a little laugh.
#ch: bucky barnes 💌#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes imagine#marvel x reader#marvel smut#mcu x reader#mcu smut
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
just found out a library near me (it's an hour of public transport at the very least but that's considered near) does crochet and knit meetings BUT THEY ARE AT A TIME WHERE I WOULD ONLY BE ABLE TO SHOW UP FOR HALF AN HOUR AND THEN THE MEETING ENDS
#also im scared#Also how am I supposed to know if there are actually people there#and by the time I goet home it will probably be 7 pm or something#crochet
1 note
·
View note
Text



the first time drew saw actress!reader.
𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 ────୨ৎ──── when drew was forced by madelyn to come watch this new show with her and the rest of the cast he didn’t expect to have his heart captured by the mesmerising woman on the screen.
𝜗𝜚 pairing: actress!reader x drew starkey
author’s note: this takes place in 2023 during the filming of obx 4 which is when game of thrones started airing in my timeline also actress!reader is anywhere between 19-22 years old.
drew was sprawled across the couch in his hotel room, aimlessly scrolling. after a long day of filming under the hot and heavy sun of morocco, he had no intention of doing anything that required effort. his plan was to simply scroll until his eyes got heavy and he knocked out, but knowing his insomnia that wouldn’t be until the early hours of the morning.
glancing at the time displayed on his phone ten pm it read, he let out a heavy sigh, though his body ached with exhaustion, his mind would not shut off. but before he could put down his phone and try to force himself to sleep, a knock sounded on the door “yeah?”
“drew! its maddie.”
“maddie?” he spoke softly, what’s she doing up at this time. usually she was asleep the moment she got back to the hotel. “come in, its open.”
she came tumbling through the door, coming to a stop in front of the couch where he laid. drew couldn’t help but chuckle as he watched her. “what’s up?”
“drew! you gotta come watch this new show with us!” her hands were placed on her hips as she looked down at him.
drew sighed, a noise of exhaustion. “i can’t be fucked getting up, cline.” her face scrunched up, ready to dispute him.
“drew you have to! the last episode of season one just came out and i watched the first episode when it aired and it was so good that i stopped watching so that we could binge it all when the season finished!”
recognition sparked on his face. “wait is this game of thrones? i remember you saying how good the first episode was, like two months ago.”
madelyn’s face grew excited at the fact that he remembered. “yeah! please please, you have to come watch it, jd, bailey, chase, laci, rudy and austin are already in my room waiting.”
drew mulled over the idea for a moment. either he could rot in his room until his call time tomorrow or hang out with his friends and possibly watch a good show, if maddie’s high praise was anything to go by.
“yeah, alright let’s go.” he stood up from the couch, stretching his arms and grabbing his phone to follow maddie, who was already halfway out the door, unable to wait any longer.
when they arrived at her room, the first episode was already lined up on the screen, the hbo logo blaring in the dark room. drew greeted everyone and then took a seat on the spare love seat by the window. “you guys get forced too?” he questioned.
“yup.” jd breathed out. “nah i’ve been wanting to watch this, i remember hearing about it when they started filming, it’s supposed to be like super graphic and vulgar.” madison commented. “shit, really? i know nothing about this show, other than the fact that cline can’t shut up about it.” austin added. chuckles sounded across the room, and madelyn yelled from the kitchen where the popcorn she was making turned in the microwave. “y’all are about to thank me!”
drew simply sat in silence, with the amount maddie was praising this show, his skepticism grew, no way this show was that good. someone pressed play as soon as madelyn was seated, he didn’t see who. the intro song of the show blasted through the room and drew settled back into his seat.
“yo, pass me the popcorn?” chase rolled up the bag and chucked it across the room from where he was sat, drew caught it with ease.
he couldn’t lie, the show was good, fifteen minutes in and he was hooked. and just when he thought that it couldn’t get better, you came on the screen.
“holy fuck who is that?” jd’s voice rang out, but drew felt as though his voice came from somewhere far away. he couldn’t tear his eyes away from you. “she’s beautiful right?” madelyn sighed out. mummers of agreement sounded from the people sitting in the room. “her name’s y/n y/l/n.”
“y/n” drew repeated to himself softly, almost as he was testing the feel of your name in his mouth. rolling the syllables on his tongue, in that moment he decided that no other word would ever compare to the way your name felt on his lips.
dressed in a flowing dress with daring cuts exposing your seemingly soft skin, he wondered what would it feel like if he ran his palms along the smooth expansion. your hair sliver, long and loose to play visenya targaryen, the last targaryen, the daughter of rhaegar targaryen and elia martell. drew felt as though no one had ever looked more stunning in the history of the world.
“drew? you all good man?” someone asked, he didn’t know who, he couldn’t hear or think of anything beyond you and the performance you were giving. “i think starkey’s got a crush.” rudy sang out, and the rest laughed. but drew couldn’t care less, too busy watching you.
they watched two more episodes and as the third episode came to an end drew finally broke out of his trance. while the rest occasionally made comments during the show drew could not tear himself away from the screen, afraid that if he looked away he would miss you.
“i gotta hand it to you, cline, i’m hooked. that shit was amazing!” carlacia grinned. “i fucking told you guys!” she retorted back. “but aside from that, starkey? what did you think?” she smirked at him.
“yeah, that was good.” drew’s body tingling “that’s it? just good? you don’t wanna talk about the moon eyes you were making every time visenya came on screen?” drew cheeks tinged pink. “yeah, she’s pretty.” “aye, shot your shot man, she’s so fine.” madison teased.
as drew made his way back to his room he looked at the time, two am, damn he didn’t even realise time had passed that quick. sliding into his bed after taking a quick shower, he couldn’t help himself but run a quick search of you on google. “fuck.” the soft curse slipping from his lips, just when he thought you couldn’t get hotter, he saw pictures of you, not in costume, naturally a brunette, he was so fucked. fuck it, he quickly searched up your name on instagram.
you were laying in bed scrolling through instagram when a notification popped up.
drewstarkey started following you. follow back?
first one, do you like it? if you do i’ll keep writing. reblogs and comments are welcome and appreciated.
#𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 actress!reader x drew starkey works#drew starkey#drew starkey smut#drew starkey x actress!reader#drew starkey x you#drew starkey fic#drew starkey fluff#drew starkey fanfiction#drew starkey imagine#drew starkey x reader#rafe cameron#outer banks#rafe cameron smut#rafe fanfiction#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#rafe smut#rafe x reader
3K notes
·
View notes