#also this is possibly weird??? but like ? i see a unit in engage and immediately go into adoption mode

[moeblob]

I remember one time on discord someone joined and I posted art in the art channel and she was like “oh you’re a fan of moeblob?” and I’m like. “I... I am moeblob” and then she was just so shocked she met the person behind the rare pairs and asked my opinions on a particular one. I remember a time on twitter someone made a tweet about “why does no one discuss Ferdinand/Felix” and someone replied like “there is a lone artist out there making content for them actually” and @ me.

Can I just retire and be known as the artist who draws everyone with freckles for Engage. It would draw far less attention probably (good! I’m shy!) and honestly is very pleasing to indulge in.

[bethpeaches123]

So I loved the Oh it’s You update! I was dying when they were talking at the end of the chapter and Peeta is clearly entranced with Katniss...would you pretty please write an outtake of that scene in his POV- I would love to know what was going through his mind when she was talking to him about his marriage....about what he really wants lol

Okay my friend, here you go! It got a little long...hope you enjoy!

I'll be posting this to AO3 soon too, I just don't know if it'll be separate from the rest of Oh, it's you or if it'll be a separate thing.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Peeta sat at a table in front of the window of Brewed Awakening, his hands wrapped around the steaming mug of tea that Sara, the cashier had just placed in front of him. He smiled his thanks as she turned and walked back to the counter, him turning back to stare at the tea bag floating at the top of the mug.

It had been a rough few weeks since he and Delly had broken the news to Connor. Every time he thought about his son’s sweet little face peering up at him as he told him he’d be moving out of their house, and Mommy and Daddy wouldn’t be together any more, his heart physically ached in his chest. He hated that he was causing his favourite person in the world any sort of upset, especially his precious boy.

Peeta felt guilty. He’d tried for so long with Delly. They’d been together since high school, when they were just kids.

Back then, he’d been so fixated on Katniss Everdeen, ever since the day he’d met her, but could never work up the nerve to talk to her, let alone ask her out. He’d been so frustrated and disappointed with himself over it. Peeta had himself so worked up over it, he pushed her away as much as he could and vowed to move on.

The day Delly asked him to go to the Halloween dance in junior year, he accepted. She was a pretty girl who was sweet and bubbly, and he liked that. Liked how she made him feel. There was no real stress with Delly. No real excitement, but it was comfortable. Safe.

He didn’t really think much of the state of his relationship - he just thought it was normal to not be madly, hopelessly in love. He loved Delly, yes, but it was never passionate or all-consuming like the great romances in movies made love out to be. He went through the stages of a relationship with her, did all the things he thought he was supposed to. Delly seemed happy and so did both their families, so when they’d been together for a few years and she started leaving links to engagement rings open on her laptop, he took the hint and proposed. All the while thinking maybe things would become more passionate or...loving, once they got married.

But it didn’t happen. In fact, six months in, he realized things weren’t going to get better and was prepared to ask for a divorce, but then Delly announced she was pregnant. And he knew he couldn’t leave then. Becoming a father was terrifying but it was something he’d always wanted, more than anything else in life. So he decided to once again dedicate himself to his marriage and the mother of his child. And it worked for a little while. But forcing a marriage never works in the end, no matter how much you may want it to, no matter how much you want to put up a united front for your child.

The bell on the coffee shop door chimed as someone opened it and out of the corner of his eye he saw Katniss step inside. His body immediately started to tingle like it always did whenever she appeared. It was like his senses became heightened and hyper aware of her when she was around. He could feel almost like an electric current running through his veins.

She approached the table a few minutes later with her own mug and said softly, “Hey Peeta. How are you doing?”

He was about to reply with a smile and his prepared front, ready to fake it, when he looked at her and read it all over her face: she knew about the split.

He sighed. He should’ve known Madge would open her mouth about it. It wasn’t exactly a state secret, but he would’ve liked a heads up that people knew. That Katniss knew.

“You know,” he said blankly. She hesitated and then replied, “Yeah. Madge and Gale told me. I’m really sorry.”

“Yeah...not exactly great news.”

He pondered it for a minute and then just decided to be honest. “Is it weird that I’m...almost relieved?” he said softly. “Kind of like a weight’s off my shoulders?”

He thought about the way Delly had looked at him that last day. How resentful she looked. He never wanted a woman to look at him that way again. Suddenly, he realized who he was saying this to, and jerked back. He shouldn’t be discussing such personal things with Katniss. ���I mean - I don’t mean that, I-I just...just feel...fuck. I don’t fucking know.” he stuttered. “I don’t mean it like that. No one wants their marriage to fail. I just tried for so long to make her happy but nothing seemed to make her happy. Or I never seemed to get it right. Could never get it right for years.”

He felt so defeated. But he didn’t want to talk about this with Katniss. Didn’t want her to think he was pathetic or a failure. Even though he felt like he was both. He was about to change the subject when she spoke up.

“Peeta...it could have been four years or forty years, it doesn’t matter. If it’s not right, it’s never going to be right. It doesn’t matter how much time you dedicate. Some things just aren’t meant to be. You shouldn’t have to try so hard in a relationship. Yeah, they take work, but not that much work. Not that much grief.” He watched her as she continued, entranced by her words.

“It should be...effortless, in some ways. Like when you meet someone, and you click, and it’s like… ‘oh. It’s you. There you are.’ Like you’ve been waiting for them this whole time and didn’t even realize it.”

Peeta stared at her, frozen at the words that seemed to tumble from her mouth. The click she spoke about. Oh, it’s you. It’s...you.

Like you’ve been waiting for them this whole time and didn’t even realize it.

Well, he realized it now. He still liked her. The pull he’d felt all those years ago to Katniss Everdeen was back. As much as he forced himself to try and forget about her, being around her the past few months had dragged those feelings right back up. Oh.

“Oh.” He hadn’t realized he’d said the word out loud. And that he’d been staring at her this whole time. He briefly watched as her eyes left his and flickered down to his mouth. Woah. What was that? Was she…?

Katniss coughed lightly and said quickly, “well, like I said: some things aren’t meant to be, no matter how hard you try. As shitty as this is, and as much as I’m sure it’s going to be difficult to work through, maybe this is the start of a new chapter for you. Where you can figure out...what makes you happy, without having to focus so much on making someone else happy. Besides Connor. Take some time to figure out what you really want.”

What he really wanted. What did he want? Right now...he could finally admit to himself that he wanted what was right in front of him. He wanted...her. He realized that the split from Delly meant that he was...free. He wasn’t elated by that, but it did make him realize that he was essentially on his own, once the paperwork went through.

What did he want?

“Yeah...what I really want.” Possibilities and future scenarios began to run through his mind. He didn’t realize he’d been staring at her, lost in thought, until she spoke again.

“Um, maybe we should take a look at this menu, hey? See what you’re thinking for it?”

Peeta was jerked from his reverie. Woah. Slow down. Collect yourself. Get it together. You literally just separated from your wife like three weeks ago. Calm down.

“Yes, of course. Um, there’s a few different options we could go with, like having a savoury package and a sweet package. I was thinking of a herbed goat cheese biscuit for one, but also…”

He pressed on, determined to push his earlier daydreams aside and focus on the task at hand. She seemed to space out for a minute and then made some comment about being concerned about keeping the hot items warm because it was cold in the winter, which made him laugh harder than he had in months.

When they had finalized everything, Katniss made to leave, saying something about another meeting. Peeta was reluctant, but he knew he had to get back to the bakery anyway. He stood up to pull his coat on as she thanked him again, when suddenly, she reached up and wrapped her arms around him in a hug.

He froze.

It was the first time they’d ever hugged. Katniss Everdeen had her arms around him. Katniss was touching him. He couldn’t let this moment pass him by.

He stiffly moved his arms around her and felt her warmth underneath his hands. He took a deep breath and inhaled. Fresh linen. Sandalwood. Vanilla. She smelled heavenly. He exhaled slowly and tightened his grip on her waist. He could feel her slight curves as he breathed in again and felt the electricity buzz through him even stronger. He could also feel the stress he’d been holding onto for so many months start to slowly pour out of him. It was incredible what a simple hug could do. But this wasn’t a simple hug. Maybe it had to do with whom he was hugging.

This was a turning point and he knew it. He was a goner.

~*~*~*~*~*~

[kaleidoscopeheartandsoul]

Lie to Me Theory: Music Video

Start Here: Lie to Me Theory: Timeline 

There is no way to beat around this part of theory. It must be approached directly and bravely. All of what has happened in the timeline to here has left people distracted. So no one would be looking for the ultimate truth in a video about lying. Luke is singing. He addresses four different people. Everyone is represented by cars: three different parties. Two different agendas for being in relationships. All stemming from one reason. 

First we need to talk about the two truly significant elements of the Lie to Me Music Video: the lyrics and the center car. 

What do we mean by lyrics? The ones available on AZlyrics or Genius? The ones they’re singing? Not this time.

From the video description.

Artist frequently put their lyrics in the description of their videos. 5SOS does this on a number of their videos. This is the only one of their videos where the lyrics in the description 1. from a different version of the song and 2. have a typo in them

Here is one of the screenshots of the LTM Official MV that I took.

These were the official lyrics that Ashton, Calum and Luke wrote with Ali Tamposi. And then a very talented and good female singer, Julia Michaels, was brought in so they could make the official lyrics publicly available

It is strange that they would do this. Why not just leave both versions of the lyrics under the proper versions of each video? Unless the lyrics of the official audio version aren’t actually the right lyrics.

It is careless and weird that the grammar on most of their videos (all of their other music videos) is good and then suddenly on LTM the first typo on a music video appears. They would have caught it and fixed it by now, surely. 

These boys don’t know how to spell “Change” huh? ‘Chang’

Don’t know how to edit the description of a YouTube video? Forgot to? Don’t care to?  Remember when Michael told Luke on twitter to go back to school.

Change is the only word mispelled in the description of any of their music videos...because the lyrics were “Changed.” 

Yes, it is entirely possible something this cryptic occurred. 

Think Think Think

The cleverness within this band should not be underestimated. Time and time again, artists under Modest! have used covert means to convey the truth of their situations without the majority of their audiences noticing. 

These in the description are the original lyrics of LTM. The lyrics of the official release were changed to fit the image that management wanted to promote. This seems to be the implication, so interpretation of the music video rests on these lyrics and not the ones they are singing.

Symbolic Cars

This part was easy for people to pick up on. 

Represented on the passenger side of the center car by 96 like Hemmo1996.

Then there’s the other side of the car.

Represented on the driver’s side of the center car by these two lower-cased letters: ae.  So who’s ae?

There are a number of options for people special enough in Luke’s life that he might want in the car with him, in fact, a person he cares enough about that that person might be the driver. A person with ae in their name. So there’s a lot of those. What narrows down the options is that ae is a person who is close to  Luke but in the same situation as Luke. They are both circled by cars that represent threats to their wellbeing. So you can decide who ae is. It couldn’t be a coincidence that this video was released the week of Michael Clifford’s engagement. That would be ludicrous.

Now we can talk about the video story

L can see the mess before he agrees to be a part of it. The two cars are already circling like sharks before he gets into the car. He still gets into the car, sitting in the backseat. He’s surrendered for the next half of the video. Pain and heartbreak etched into his face. 

The circling cars represent “toxic people” like Ashton clued. So the circling cars are toxic relations.

He addresses the first chorus primarily to the circling car with toxic person #1.  This is a person who left him not only emotionally fraught but publicly humiliated him and scarred his reputation, then dropped all responsibility for fun and left him to do the clean up.

And now I wish we never met 

because you are too hard to forget

While I’m cleaning up your mess

I know he’s taking off your dress

And I know that you don’t, but if I ask you if you love me

I hope you lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie to me

The easy interpretation: 

1.     The person involved is sleeping with someone else but L isn’t angry that he’s been betrayed. Maybe because he loves her so much he could even forgive that...or maybe because he actually never loved her.

2.    Her marks on his life still causes a lot of grief because she publicly humiliated him and took no responsibility, so this is why all his regret stems from being stuck in the dump she threw him into 

3.     But he’s in communication with her---so he can ask her questions. Like if she still loves him. But that doesn’t make sense if he didn’t even like her that much.

“LTM represents when someone is in a relationship for something other than what you are there for.” Like fame or publicity, but Luke is using her for something else entirely.

Luke was being used because he was in a vulnerable situation. He still is in a vulnerable situation. It made it easy for others to hurt him but he didn’t rely on them. 

He starts by regretting the toxic relationship, but in these last two lines, he is turning to a different person, his person. 

Luke’s voice lifts at the end of each chorus as he turns to his last hope. “And I know that you don’t” because he sees how disgusted the person must be by the situation “but if I ask you if you love me, I hope you lie...” I hope you’ll love me. Despite how much you couldn’t--don’t like me.  

It’s 3 am and the moonlight’s testing me

I know you’ve been holding onto someone else

And now I can’t sleep (Ah)

I ain’t happy, oh

I ain’t too happy, oh

This verse starts immediately after the first time we get to see the driver’s side of the car where it says ae. This is extremely coincidental. It’s shifting focus onto another person. 

So he’s addresses ae basically, ‘I feel tested. I’ve turned to you and begged you to take me, but you’ve been acting like me, holding on to the same stories I’ve been through with a toxic person. It worries me. I am not happy. But I am also not mad at you.’

 Luke holds back from accusing ae even though he would like to. He is wounded again by ae’s actions but he does not want to outright blame ae for the situation that they are both stuck in the center of. 

 Flashing back to New York City 

Chang your flight so you stay with me

Remember thinking that I got this right

‘Flashing back’ is when we recall memories. Nostalgia sets in for a better time. The first pre-chorus, Luke has a balance he is reminiscing about when he at the time thought he could balance both of his relationships perfectly. There was turmoil of course--the need to re-negotiate flights because of a mess up with leaving to New York--but it was alright after that and that’s why he was led into a false sense of security that he got this “right.” Did anyone ever have to change flights when they were trying to leave New York city because of a mistake. 

It’s funny that I thought this typo was on purpose because the official lyric again is ‘Change your flight so you stay with me’ but if it was really meant to be ‘changed’ then it would fit a dual purpose, warning us about the lyric flop and talking about that one time someone had their flight changed when they were trying to stay with Luke too. I’m dropping hints like bombs but I’m not saying what I’m talking about yet and it’s hilarious and terrible. Later post I promise. 

Flashing back to New York City

I was done but you undid me

Classic me to run when it feels right

The second time, Luke runs away from New York City, symbol of stability and security within his relationship with ae. He was done--he didn’t have any interest in connection with any of the toxic ones--but you undid me--again the theme of being humiliated and having a slaughtered reputation, the pain that goes with that. And now after the 3am verse  Luke is with ae, and done with TP #1, but ae’s ‘someone else,’ the second circling car, the other toxic person, is there to ruin Luke’s life again but by being attached to ae. This time Luke wants out. He’s so done already but this person is causing him double the agony that the last one did because he’s involving someone he cares for deeply. And he leaves the car before either of the circling cars smash into it. There is no Luke to hurt. Luke got out when “it feels right.” He knew this time that things were going well with ae but he gave up on ae because he was tired.

While Luke was humiliated, and went through a great deal of grief because of his toxic relationship, at no time during the car collisions do we see 96. Instead, the footage of the driver’s side of the car with the prominent ae is flipped so it looks as though the wheel of the car is on the right side passenger side of the car. It’s as though everything that once applied to Luke’s situation now applies to ae’s cause holy shit.

As it turns out, ae takes the hardest hit. The tempo is the most upbeat it was the entire video during the last chorus.  Luke is still surrendered to the situation but he’s protesting against the way they have been treated. Now all the boys are united, not just watching Luke. They’re all supporting each other. Luke is talking to Toxic Relationship person 2 in this chorus. He is stronger now. He’s done this before and the boys are supporting him. He’s standing up for ae. 

Last chorus: 

Now I wish we never met 

'Cause you're too hard to forget 

While he's taking off my dress 

I know she's laying on your chest

The relationship between himself and ae is the strongest it’s ever been, but even when ae’s taking off Luke’s clothes, Luke can tell that ae’s toxic relationship weighs on his heart. It is as though she is laying on his chest like depression weighs on the heart. Also this is gay if it’s real. 

Final verses:

I know that you don't, but if I ask you if you love me 

I hope you lie, lie, lie, lie, lie to me 

Singing, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie 

Li-li-lie, lie, lie, lie, lie 

Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie 

Li-li-lie, lie, lie, lie, lie (Yeah yeah) 

I know that you don't, but if I ask you if you love me 

I hope you lie, lie, lie, lie, lie to me

The last part “I know that you don’t....” is repeated twice with many desperate pleas for lies. It is repeated twice for both types of relationships: toxic and ae. 

For toxic, he hopes that they pretend that they love him. He’ll even sing their lies. For ae, he hopes whenever they are in public playing their games of animosity, if he ever slips up and does something loving or a giveaway, he hopes ae will lie about loving Luke too and follow through playing their pretend game of hate because it’s the only way to avoid making the situation worse, and that’s the one thing the management and the boys want. 

Then the car explodes

Because he knows, they know, it’s not going to work. All the lies are going to blow them up. So the car explodes. Showing ae. The lies literally made ae explode. 

An hour after the Lie to Me Music Video premieres, Michael’s fiancee announces publicly that they are engaged.  

Take care everyone :) tpwk including you

[elsa-should-be-arrested]

Frozen 2 Pitchmeeting copypasta by Anonymous

>"So anyway Elsa, Anna, and Olaf are walking along to find the mysterious voice when they suddenly come across a shipwreck that turns out to be the same one from Iduna and Agnarr's final voyage!" >"Oh, wow." >"Yeah, it turns out they didn't go to the South Sea like Elsa and Anna thought, they really went to the Dark Sea, which is right next to the forest." >"So this scene takes place on a beach?" >"Oh, no, they're still in the middle of the woods." >"What?" >"Yeah, the beach doesn't come into it until later." >"How did their parents' ship sink in the middle of the forest?" >"Unclear." >"Did the area used to be part of the ocean but the water has since receded?" >"Oh no, there are decades-old trees everywhere and the ocean can't even be seen on the horizon." >"Did the Spirits throw the ship clear from the ocean into the middle of the forest?" >"I mean they probably could do that but I don't see why they would instead of just letting the ship sink to the ocean floor like we saw in the first movie." >"I just feel like this raises so many questions that could've been easily avoided if the scene just took place on a beach." >"Yeah, probably. So anyway the three of them run into the ship and look around to see if they can find an explanation as to why it's here in the forest instead of the South Sea like they said they were and find a map that mentions Ahtohallan." >"Gesundheit." >"No, sir, Ahtohallan is the name of the magic glacier that Iduna used to tell Anna and Elsa about when they were kids, and she thought it might have had something to do with Elsa's powers, if it even existed at all." >"That's an interesting theory. I just hope Elsa doesn't put all her eggs in one basket and immediately decide Ahtohallan is the key to everything because there's no concrete connection to her powers, and even her mother wasn't entirely--" >"And so Elsa immediately decides Ahtohallan is the key to everything!" >"Of course." >"But then she remembers Olaf's 'water has memory' thing from earlier in the movie and so she decides to use her water memory restoration powers to witness their parents' dying moments." >"Wait, what? Elsa has water memory restoration powers? I thought she just controlled ice and snow." >"Well, sir, as you know, ice and snow are just forms of water." >"Yes, but doesn't this movie's mythology treat water and ice as two completely separate elements? And if she can control water why hasn't she ever done it before? And even if she can use water to recreate past memories how would she even know how to do that? Wouldn't she need to train under some sort of magic ice Enchanted Forest Yoda or something?" >"Sir, I need a reason for Elsa to get really sad really fast, so I'd like you to get all the way off my back about Elsa's new water powers that will never be mentioned again." >"Fair enough." >"So anyway Elsa is able to recreate her parents' dying moments in which they embrace each other in the face of a really violent, terrifying death and call out Elsa's name." >"Not Anna's name, who is also their daughter and is watching this whole thing next to Elsa?" >"Nope, not at all, sir." >"Iduna and Agnarr couldn't put in the time or effort to think about both of their daughters as they were dying?" >"Nope! They even say Elsa's name multiple times, so it's not like they didn't have the chance." >"Wow, I guess the girls know who the favorite was." >"It is pretty rude, I will agree." >"Very rude dying parents!" >"So anyway, the sight of their parents dying horrifically makes Elsa really upset." >"I don't know what else she was expecting." >"She runs out of the ship, so Anna tries to comfort her by telling her she'll never abandon Elsa and she believes in her and her magic is awesome and that Elsa was a gift from Heaven above to bless their parents with basically just the most perfect child possible and that she'll always support Elsa in anything she does and that she loves Elsa with all her heart and together they're going to solve this mystery and save their kingdom. And Elsa thanks her." >"Aww, how sweet and heartfelt!" >"By throwing her down a hill." >"What." >"Yeah, Elsa's worried that the rest of the journey may be too perilous for Anna and Olaf so she summons an ice canoe around them and then sends the thing just... careening down a hillside at roughly fifty miles an hour." >"Oh my God." >"Yeah, it's pretty much an ice rocket, just shooting past trees and rocks left and right." >"Elsa wanted to keep Anna safe by trapping her in a murder rocket made out of material famous for people slipping on it and shooting it into a forest full of rocks and trees and cliffs and supernatural monsters that Elsa is in no way familiar with?" >"She had to. There was still one Spirit left to deal with and the Dark Sea can be very dangerous." >"Hasn't Elsa kicked the ass of every Spirit she's come across so far? And isn't she capable of freezing large bodies of water as we saw in the first movie?" >"She has and is, yes." >"And isn't she capable of creating life, so she could just make like a huge eagle or dragon or something big enough to fly herself, Anna, and Olaf harmlessly across the Dark Sea?" >"She most definitely could." >"So why does she need to kick Anna down a hill in order to continue the mission?" >"Because I want her to fight a horsey." >"Excuse me?" >"I want Elsa to fight a horsey and I don't want Anna just standing there watching and making it weird." >"I mean you don't have to have her just standing there watching, you could involve her. Make it a really cool fight scene where the sisters work together and show teamwork and it could be a really cool, inspiring, empowering moment where they unite against a powerful enemy and overcome it and--" >"Don't be silly, sir. Two women can't fight a horsey. That's just crazy talk!" >"I just feel like Elsa kicking Anna down a hill because a fantasy quest adventure is dangerous is sort of really harshly unnecessary and also sort of undermines the whole 'stronger together' thing we've been selling for the last six years." >"CRAZY TALK, I SAY!" >"I mean I guess so." >"Crazy movie producer." >"So tell me about this horsey fight, how does it go?" >"Well at first Elsa tries to run across the Dark Sea but she keeps getting hit by waves and sent deep into the water." >"The ice sorceress capable of freezing large bodies of water tries physically running across a stormy sea?" >"She does, sir, yes. And then one time when she's underwater she gets attacked by the Water Spirit, which is a kelpie named Nokk." >"The Water Spirit is seaweed?" >"No, sir, a kelpie is a beast from Celtic mythology. It's basically a horse made of water and it controls the sea." >"Oh, wow." >"And it killed Iduna and Agnarr." >"Whoa, what?" >"I mean it's pretty obvious since this is where they died and it's guarded by a supernatural sea monster that intentionally makes the ocean all stormy and dangerous, which is what killed them." >"That sounds pretty intense. So is Elsa gonna get some some sweet karmic justice on Nokk for killing her parents?" >"Oh, no. Well, not intentionally, at least." >"What do you mean?" >"Well like I said, it's pretty obvious if you think about it, but we're not gonna make a thing out of it. In fact we're not even gonna acknowledge it at all." >"Elsa's going to engage in mortal combat with her parents' murderer and she's not even going to realize it?" >"That's right sir, yes." >"Seems like a weird way to take that potentially massive plot point." >"To be honest, sir, I wanted to make more of a deal out of it but I honestly couldn't think of a way to... write it good." >"I guess it is better to write nothing than to write something disappointing and stupid." >"Exactly!" >"So how about the fight itself? How does Elsa versus Nokk go down?" >"Well Nokk can dissolve and become the water all around Elsa and if she freezes him he can just immediately unfreeze himself and he's just really strong. Basically imagine how dangerous a normal wild horse is, but then also factor in drowning, a shark attack, and a homing torpedo." >"Oh my God, Nokk sounds borderline invincible. Is it gonna be hard for Elsa to beat him?" >"Actually, it's going to be super easy. Barely an inconvenience!" >"How so?" >"Well at one point during the fight Elsa just... rides him." >"Just... rides him?" >"Yep. After getting the everloving snow beaten out of her for ten minutes Elsa gets the idea to hop onto Nokk's back and ride him around shouting 'yee-hah!'" >"The ancient supernatural being who controls the seas themselves is defeated because the woman who must weigh barely over 100 pounds asks for a pony ride?" >"That's right sir, yes." >"I guess that makes sense."

[creator-savannah]

The Spark That Lights The Fire

Summary -

Never in your life have you ever thought that you would be transported to Hell.

But here you are standing in Hell, why not cause as many problems as you can? I mean you're already here.

I mean being Isekai'd to another realm without your permission sucks. Maybe you should've taken notes on how to survive an Isekai situation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In which chaotic good MC goes to devildom.

Part of the Chaos At It’s Finest Series

Cross Posted on - AO3 Wattpad

Chapter Two - RAD is Pretty Rad

You fucked up.

No, seriously, you fucked up.

You just insulted the future king of Hell and cut him off multiple times.

"Wait, isn't Lucifer—or was it Satan—the king of Hell?" You say, you know, why stop now? Well, if you don't stop now you might find yourself killed or eradicated if you say one more word from the look on Lucifer's face. It's funny, you would think that would sound like a compliment, but, he looks like he's been insulted.

You look at Satan, and it looks like he's enjoying the look on Lucifer's face. He really does hate him for whatever reason.

You were willing to bet it was identity issues or daddy issues.

You laughed, and looked at Lucifer straight in the eye and said,

"Lord Diavolo, I'm sure this human does not mean it."

Lucifer said, he looked really panicked. He looked in your direction and you could swear that it was trying to obliterate your soul.

"Bold of you to assume I didn't mean it."

Yep… You're so dead.

You could see it, your grave, and written on your grave was;

You didn't think you'd die this early, but, at least you'd die a death no one you know would.

"Here lies, _____ _____.

Reason of death;

Killed because they were too much of an idiot to know when to stop talking.

Their final words were,

'Bold of you to assume I didn't mean it.' "

As you were internally monologuing your probably final moment alive, someone was laughing their ass off. Getting annoyed by the constant laughter—your final moments were supposed to be sad and dramatic goddamnit—you, being the dumbass protagonist that you are, yell,

"HEY! SHUT THE FUCK UP WHILE I'M INTERNALLY MONOLOGUEING MY FINAL MOMENTS!"

Did you even know who you were yelling at? No.

Did you care? Of course not, you were going to die either way.

But, after yelling what you said, you only realize now that the person who was laughing their ass off was no other than, you guessed it, Mr. I'm the demon prince, himself.

Why? Before you die, you wanted to know, why? Why do you keep interrupting him? Even if it's unintentional, you just keep on interrupting him.

"Someone kill me." You say. No point in begging for mercy.

The last thing you expected would happen was laughter. No, not the evil kind, but the kind of laughter you'd get when you get entertained, or when you find something really funny. Or when–

"Ahem, may I?"

First of all, rude. Second of all, is this what Mr. I'm the demon prince, feels like whenever you interrupt him? And who said that? There's no indicator on who said that.

You looked at the man in front of you and saw Lucifer's black and red eyes glint murderously.

"No, no, Lucifer, no need to murder the human." Mr. I'm the demon prince said, wiping off tears from his the side of his eyes.

Are you sure this man wasn't a saint? Like, dude, did you just save me? The person that keeps on interrupting you and being an idiot?

You were confused, there's no way that this man just stopped Lucifer from killing you. Did he want to kill you himself? Because you'd be fine with that. At least you were going to die by the hands of a Full course meal of a man.

Oops- Did you forget to mention that Diavolo was hot as fuck? Like he's hot as Hell. He's a UR+ Man™. The kind of guy in otome games that are always undateable.

Ack! You're rambling, you slap your cheeks and look at the man in front of you.

"(____) are you alright?"

"Yep, I'm fine, totally, super fine, now can we get back to the topic of why I'm here, Mr. I'm the demon prince?" You say, feeling awkward, now that you've just realized how hot Diavolo was.

Wait, did you hear that right? Did you just call him by the nickname you gave him internally?

You were sure that if they didn't kill you, this embarrassment will.

"Mr. I'm the demon prince?" Diavolo said before bursting into laughter again.

First of all, thank you for saying you were perfect, Diavolo, it really boosted your ego. Second of all,

"You human, no, (____), you're really interesting, you know? You're perfect for this exchange program."

He said.

"Exchange program?"

"Ah yes, the exchange program is the reason you are here in Devildom at this very moment."

"But, I didn't apply for any exchange programs?" You asked, confused. You were sure you didn't apply for any exchange programs, they were too expensive for your tastes, and you weren't a genius to even get a scholarship to apply for one.

"Lucifer here will tell you the details, but, before that, how about I formally introduce you to Lucifer? I'm sure you would want to have your question from earlier answered."

Oh, yeah, that question from the beginning, welp, no take-backs now. No matter how idiotic and life-threatening that question was, you still wanted the question answered.

He did that thing you do when you're introducing someone to someone you know and said,

"This is Lucifer, The Avatar of Pride."

You looked to Lucifer, now that Diavolo mentioned it, he had an aura of smugness and self-importance, looking at him felt like you're looking at someone who was way out of your league, or maybe it was something more like what you feel when meeting your superior for the first time.

Even with all of those feelings your feeling right now, nothing could compare to the feeling of wanting to annoy him till he begs for you to stop.

Was that even possible? Probably not, you were sure that if you tried, you might die in the process.

Would that stop you from trying? No, after all, what's life if you don't take risks? Granted, that this idea of yours might kill you, you wanted to see Lucifer throw away his pride at least once.

Before you could plan how you could get Lucifer to beg, Diavolo starts talking.

"He's also the vice-president of the student council and my right-hand man… And not just in title, I assure you."

What was that supposed to mean? Are they gay and in a throuple? If that's the case, then where's the other one? Is Satan the other one? Or, are they secretly gay for each other but Diavolo is engaged to someone so they can't be together, just like in 'I'm Very Gay For My Best Friend But I'm In An Arranged Engagement, And Now I Don't Know What to Do!'

He chuckled, oops, did you miss something? Or, does he have mind-reading powers and currently reading your thoughts?

"Beyond that, he's also my most trusted friend."

That doesn't help! Diavolo, If you could read minds, then are you and Lucifer in a relationship? Diavolo, answer my question, please! You can't just leave me hanging like that!

While you were asking Diavolo in your mind, you suddenly hear Lucifer's voice.

"Flattery will get you no where, Diavolo."

Oof, may we get F in the chat for Diavolo? That's rough buddy, getting your compliments be labeled as flattery, that has never happened totally never happened to you—

Oh wait, it did.

Moving on, you decided to listen to Lucifer explain why the fuck were you here.

"On the behalf of the student body at this great and storied school of ours.."

Wait? Did you miss the whole fucking explanation?

"I offer you the most heartfelt welcome, (____)."

"Wait! Hold on! Why am I here again?" You asked,

"Were you not listening?" He replied, clearly annoyed that his whole explanation was ignored.

"Yeah, yeah, I wasn't listening. Now answer my damn question." You retort, maybe, not listening to the Avatar of Pride A.K.A Mr. I'm the demon prince's right-hand man is something an idiot would do but you knew that you were an idiot, but at least your an idiot with courage.

"Interesting," He says, you wonder if interesting is a word demons often used because you were sure that you've been hearing that word a whole lot ever since you came here, which is maybe an hour or two.

"This one is quite different from Solomon." He said, while wearing something in between a curious smirk and a smug one.

Well, thank you, it probably wasn't every day that Lucifer all-mighty compliments someone but, what can you say, you were different from other humans after all.

Also, who's Solomon? Was He–assuming they're a He, if not you were going to find them and apologize immediately—another human that got kidnapped? Maybe you two could be buddies, the 'We got kidnapped against our will Buddies'.

"And to recap the explanation you, oh so gracefully ignored—he's definitely mad about the ignoring thing, must've wounded his pride—Diavolo believes that we should start strengthening our relationship with both the human world and the Celestial Realm."

Uniting—or strengthening relations of—the three realms? Is that really what the future demon king should be thinking about? That's… Oddly peaceful, you would think he would want to destroy your world—or realm—not uniting the three realms, but, who were you to judge, you weren't a ruler, and maybe, not every demon wasn't all 'I want to corrupt you mwuhahaha.'

"As a first step towards this goal, we've instituted an exchange program, two of our students are in the human world, and two are in the Celestial Realm."

'Uh huh, aight, got it, continue' you think to yourself, imagining yourself taking notes.

"And we're welcoming four students to our school: two from your world and two from the Celestial Realm. Got it?"

You nod your head, thinking about who else got dragged into this. Two humans, that would be you and the Solomon guy, and two angels, huh, two angels.. Maybe they could tell you what sins you've committed to get dragged into this weird exchange program.

"So, basically, I've been chosen to participate in this weird exchange program of his?" You signal to Diavolo, who was smiling and being cheery and stuff, not the kind of things you'd expect from a demon prince.

"Yes, you are our newest exchange student. Your period of stay will be one year, you will do everything expected of an exchange student, such as tasks you will receive at RAD. After the one year is over, you will write a 20'000 word paper on your stay here in Devildom." He said, as if all the things he had listed were extremely easy to accomplish.

"I have many things to ask and say but first, what the fuck is RAD?" You say, just wanting to go back home and pretend this never happened.

"RAD is the shortened name for Royal Academy of Diavolo, and on the topic of RAD, we are currently in the very heart of it. This is the assembly hall, this us where we officers of the student council hold our meetings and conduct our business."

Never mind where you were in this RAD school, you wanted to know who the fuck thought it was a good idea to shorten the name to RAD. You suspected that Diavolo changed the academy's name to include his name to shorten it into that.

"Ok, thank you for your explanation, now, I don't want to participate in this exchange program." You say, you wanted to be as direct as possible, you did not want to be here.

"Why?" Diavolo raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, I don't know?! Maybe because I have a life? Maybe because this stupid exchange program isn't going to help me get a job? They would probably laugh at my face if I showed them that I attended this exchange program? It won't help me to feed myself after I go back!" You snap, you were tired of this bullshit, you might've joked around a lot, but, it doesn't change the fact that this exchange program doesn't help you in any way.

"Ah, I see... Then, how about I make sure you could secure a stable life in the human world after this exchange program is over?" He offers, he didn't look cheery anymore, he looked calculative, as if he actually thinking about this seriously.

"How?" You say, skeptical of his offer.

"I have my ways." He says, vaguely, very mysterious.

"Then, how about food, shelter, clothes, and other necessary stuff?"

"I've already planned where you will be staying for the exchange program, that is, if you decide to join this exchange program." He said, you know.. This Diavolo that you're seeing was different from the cheery one you were interrupting and calling names, this Diavolo was calculative, and serious. Maybe, you underestimated him due to his cheery attitude from before.

"…Then, how about my safety?" You ask, you weren't really all that excited to go to a school with human-eating demons, you needed some kind of reassurance that someone is going to be looking after you, after all, you can't even take care of yourself without stressing yourself.

"What do you take me for, a fool? Of course, you will be safe during this exchange program, no harm shall be placed upon you, if someone decides to harm you, we of the student council will take care of it.

"I will even give you a monthly allowance, how about that? Will you join the exchange program?"

"What's the catch?" You say, this offer that he was making was way too sketchy for your tastes. You did not want to be in debt to him, after all, he could simply say that the price for this exchange program was your soul, and you were pretty attached to your soul and, don't want to give it up, yet.

"Nothing, I just want you to join this exchange program." He says, alright, just to be sure,

"Pinky promise?" You held up your pinky for him to hook his own on, he looked confused. Has this man never heard of pinky promises?

"Pinky promise? Is that something you humans do?" He asked, nevertheless, he still hooked his pinky in yours.

"What a weird tradition." He said, after that he laughed. You've just noticed that his laugh was like a dad's after making a dad joke.

"Ok, now that we've pinky promised, you better keep the promise! Or else I'll cut off your pinky myself!" You jokingly threaten, you never expected to ever do a pinky promise with a demon prince, but, here you were.

"Of course." He smiled, a smile that could warm your cold heart in a second. And it did, you felt a warm feeling envelop you, sending warmth to every part of your body.

It was a nice feeling, it was like you're body was back home, but, it wasn't.

After Diavolo promised to secure your life in the future while making sure you live comfortably here in Devildom for a year, you ask for a pen and a few papers.

Lucifer was hesitant to give you his pen and opted to give you some papers, while Satan gave you a pen that was obviously Lucifer's.

You wrote down a contract—while also making sure there aren't any loopholes that could lead you to giving up your soul—and also wrote down the deed to your soul, for future purposes.

You signed your name and gave it to Diavolo, he scanned the paper and signed his name on it. Now that, that's over with, you decide to do something that might've sounded like a funny idea but be quite dangerous.

"Hey, Lord Diavolo," You say, making sure you added the 'lord' part, you didn't want to die after managing to secure a stable future.

"Yes? Is there anything you need, (____)?" He answered, unaware of what you were going to do.

"Make sure it's quick, you've already wasted Lord Diavolo's time for too long." Lucifer said, geez, sure, you were going to make it quick.

"I have something to give you."

"Well, I don't see anything in this contract that you were supposed to give something to me."

You give a piece of paper to Diavolo, he looked confused.

"Well, what is it?"

"The deed to my soul." You say, smiling as if the deed to your soul meant nothing.

"Well, I didn't expect that but I'll gladly accept it."

"Lord Diavolo, nO—"

~Author’s Note~

Hello everyone! I hope you all are having a nice day or night. Sorry for not updating for like 2 weeks, I had to catch up on my modules and stuff. I hope you guys enjoyed this long chapter, sorry if it wasn't all that funny, I don't really have a good sense of humor when it comes to making things funny. The final joke is inspired by a comic I read but I can't find it, so if anyone knows please tell me so I can credit them.

Also thank you to @yaboyistired-obeyme for posting some dialogues from the game and thank you to @meanduck for threatening to steal my kneecaps, that helped me a lot since it gave me a reason to actually write this chapter.

Sorry for this long author's note, and have a good day or night.

[Next Chapter} [Last Chapter]

P.S if I receive 5 comments or asks I'll update in a week. (not this week or the next, I have to prepare for a test)

Again, please tell me if there are any grammar mistakes.

[lizacstuff]

SCK / Edser asks

Apologies if I haven’t gotten to your ask yet, I’m days behind, check under the cut

Anonymous said: The inconsistencies aside, I thought the episode was so perfect!! The writers hit on so many great conversation points between different duos/groups of people - like I did not expect the Eda/Serkan convos to be as candid as they were. I don't really follow writers BTS but I was sad to find out that this was indeed a different writing team from the previous 2. :( I hope that since Ayse's team set up the situation so well that the new writers will be careful not to walk back on the development

Agreed, let’s cross our fingers that the new writers have watched all the episodes (hopefully as many times as we have) and are committed to keeping the characters intact and remember all the details that make this show so great.  

The good news is that they showed with 22 and 23, that they know how to write sexy, UST-Y, feelsy edser scenes. Now if they can just maintain Eda and Serkan’s characterization (no ordering pizza or allowing random subordinates in late at night) everything will be fine.

Anonymous said: i agree with you that something must've been changed last minute.. i think maybe serkan would've been more standoffish after finding out, but they might've realized that wouldn't work hence the weird summary. although, by itself, i love the dialogue in the shaving scene bc serkan is being very vulnerable in his feelings and eda is reassuring him, which i feel like was much needed needed scene since she found out the truth! the line about her putting her hand over his heart... swoon!

I do agree that Serkan’s speech about his heart is swoon-worthy. That section of the scene will go down as one of the great moments between them. 

Anonymous said: I refuse to believe Eda is just going to give into her grandmother in the next episode. The latest episode made such a point of stressing that Eda is not going to run away, not going to let her Grandmother do the same thing to her as was done to her father and that Eda was willing to fight for Serkan. I expect similar parallels to what Serkan went through after finding out about the death of Eda’s parents but in the end she chooses to tell Serkan the truth. Come on show, do not disappoint! Eda, say yes to the proposal and come up with a plan together to bring down Grandma!

I have nothing to add to this. Yes please!!!

Anonymous said: This episode was amazing i loved it ! we finally got a good amount of screen time from edser (The episode was focused on them as in the very first episodes). Also we got domestic edser and they finally had a real conversation and not just one! It feel like i get the Eda and Serkan I used to love, back. I really hope that they will continue like this in the next episodes and that we will see the two of them fighting together against the grandmother as they promised each other.

Personally, I think pretty much every episode focuses on Eda and Serkan, even when they’re in a bad place like ep 15 and 16, they take every opportunity to throw them together, but I do agree that this episode had a satisfying amount of Edser screen time.

I’m completely onboard the united front, working as a team approach to defeating Babaanne, whether it be out in the open or in secret.  Let it happen!!

Anonymous said: Okay but seriously, we have to be getting a secret engagement or even wedding next episode of SCK, right? The latest episode was so good and they made really progress finally. Please show, please just give us a reconciliation and some 🔥🔥🔥.

Hard for me to see wedding happening. The Eda/Serkan wedding feels too big and important to hide away in an episode when no one knows its coming. I think there needs to be more fanfare when the thing the entire show has been building to for 55 hours of television, happens. I do think, secret engagement is possible. 

And YES to progress and YES to full reconciliation!!! IT IS TIME!

Anonymous said: It was a very good episode but the only thing that was missing was Eda's confession. She had the opportunity to tell him in the shaving scene but she didn't say anything her only answer to serkan monologue was "so you're telling me to leave you?" She did not even reassure him, even serkan has to question how she feel about him.

I get it, we all want to hear Eda say the words, but you’re completely wrong about how she responded in the shaving scene. Yes, she said that when he told her he couldn’t continue this way if she doesn’t know what she wants.  But that is NOT how she responded to his monologue. She absolutely reassured him. I’m so confused by this ask, did you not watch the full scene? Or did you only watch it once and the negative demons in your mind turned it into Eda not responding to his monologue?

In the living room when Serkan gets upset about her suggestion that she leave the company, she takes a moment and then immediately follows him upstairs and tells him leaving the company was a stupid idea and that she won’t go anywhere and will be by his side. Then after his monologue, the only one he has, which is about his heart, she reassured him by telling him that they will face everything together. Agreeing that she would keep her hand on his heart.  Then she steps in and performs the insanely intimate act of shaving him. 

Serkan knows how she feels. On top of the above, she confided in him about her childhood, gave him a heartfelt gift that had special meaning for them that took a lot of effort for her to procure, went to his house when she needed a place to stay, let him talk her into staying, told him she trusted him, made herself at home in his bath, flirted like crazy, faced their family’s intrusion together, and, despite not committing to starting the New Year together she was at the party, and he heard her actually wondering out loud where he was. He knows she was there waiting for him so they could start a new chapter. Then she told him his gift was the most wonderful she’d ever received and she hugged him. He knows. What’s in question is whether she will find strength in that love and use it to fight Babanne by his side, or whether she will follow Serkan’s example and sacrifice their relationship because she loves him so much she will do anything to keep him safe. 

Either path illustrates how much she loves him. 

He knows. And she will say it. Here’s my advice, you’ll enjoy the show a lot more if you stop pining all your hopes on one thing happening, because demonstrably (from your ask) when you do that you miss all the good stuff we do get. 

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #195

Thur Aug 22 2019 [01:12 PM] Wack'd: Marv Wolfman: is he a wolf? Or is he a man? If he's a man, he's a wolf of a man [01:12 PM] Wack'd: Also he's our writer for the next, like, two years, give or take an annual [01:12 PM] Bocaj: Marv Wolfman of Teen Titans fame [01:13 PM] Bocaj: His fellow of Teen Titans fame George Perez was already here [01:14 PM] Wack'd: This is not his first Fantastic Four rodeo. He did the Giant-Size with the alien Horsemen of the Apocalypse whose weakness is literally any form of physical resistance [01:14 PM] Bocaj: huh [01:14 PM] Wack'd: And 190 which is the recap issue because Len Wein cannot do deadlines [01:15 PM] Wack'd: But now he gets the chance to do actual long-form Storytelling with the Fantastic Four. Let's see how he handles it, and also the fact that he's stuck with this dumb "end of the Four" plotline because Reed had a midlife crisis [01:19 PM] Wack'd: So that's confirmation that Imperial Pictures is a renamed Sado-Masochism Sub-Mariner SM Pictures

[01:20 PM] maxwellelvis: That crosshatching on Namor's chest makes it look like he's spontaneously grown chest hair [01:21 PM] Wack'd: Every swimmer's worst nightmare [01:21 PM] Wack'd: Impy interrupts Sue's moping basically just because he's bored and then gets irritated that she won't engage [01:22 PM] Wack'd:

Hollywood person: Good heavens! What was that? Sue: I can't possibly explain him. He's an experience all to himself.

[01:22 PM] Wack'd: I prefer Garnet, personally [01:23 PM] Wack'd: Back in NY, Reed is concerned he hasn't heard from Sue, which--yeah, fucking obviously, Namor's a dick who had his number blocked [01:24 PM] Wack'd: Reed is becoming suspicious that none of the folks at the lab he's at know the whole truth about the project they're working on, and Reed's mystery employer--who continues to just be a Mr. Claw-esque hand in a chair--cackles that it's Reed's paranoia is all part of the plan or whatever [01:26 PM] Wack'd: So in a shocking twist, Namor is not trying to win Sue back. He's trying to reconnect with his "only friend", because he has issues he can't talk to anyone else about [01:26 PM] maxwellelvis: Lady Dorma: Apparently chopped liver. [01:26 PM] Wack'd: Why hasn't he let her contact Reed? I dunno, ask Len Wein, I guess [01:28 PM] Wack'd: So basically, Namor's current issue is that, in other books, he's successfully rebuilt Atlantis, with himself on the throne [01:28 PM] Wack'd: The prooooooblem is that he's literally saved Atlantis from certain doom a lot. And literally every time he leaves or is dethroned, something awful happens to it. And this has put certain...ideas...in his subjects' heads [01:29 PM] maxwellelvis: Dear god, they've become self-aware! [01:29 PM] Wack'd: Basically they think he's a God. Like, capital-G, supernatural-powers, heal-the-sick, God. [01:29 PM] maxwellelvis: Oooohhhhhhh dear [01:30 PM] Wack'd: (Presumably why Dorma is off the table--for all we know, she's buying into it) [01:30 PM] Wack'd: So basically, after one too many times being swarmed by worshipers begging for help he cannot provide, he got fed up, fled Atlantis, and went looking for Sue [01:31 PM] Wack'd: And was informed by Willie Lumpkin that, by sheer coincidence, she'd signed a deal with the movie studio he's still financially on the hook for and which he'd frankly kinda forgotten about [01:31 PM] maxwellelvis: Namor should consider looking into a therapist. [01:31 PM] maxwellelvis: So, about as attentive as your typical studio head, then? [01:31 PM] Bocaj: Hahah [01:31 PM] Wack'd: Pfffft [01:33 PM] Wack'd: Back at NASA, Johnny flies in for a visit, and is immediately shot at by the military until Ben calls them off [01:33 PM] Wack'd: I swear, you can't take him anywhere [01:33 PM] Wack'd:

[01:33 PM] Wack'd: Ben's been feeling kind of lonely since Alicia's work took her back to NY [01:35 PM] Wack'd: And after that brief interlude, back to Hollywood, where Sue has encouraged Namor to take a more active interest in his studio to clear his mind [01:35 PM] Wack'd: It...doesn't last

[01:36 PM] maxwellelvis: Why would they give their robots scales? [01:36 PM] Wack'd: Ladies and gentlemen, your 1978 Atlantis Hockey Club starting lineup! [01:36 PM] InbarFink: Aesthetic [01:36 PM] maxwellelvis: Good answer [01:37 PM] maxwellelvis: I have to say, these are some of the silliest-looking robots I've seen in a Marvel comic. [01:37 PM] maxwellelvis: And that's including the Living Brain [01:37 PM] Wack'd: Honestly those faces have big DC Reach energy [01:37 PM] maxwellelvis: In that they look like space wrestlemen? [01:38 PM] Wack'd: I guess? [01:38 PM] Wack'd: Anyway, Sue uses her force fields to force all the cast and crew off the set [01:39 PM] Wack'd: uuuugh

[01:41 PM] Bocaj: Is she going by Girl still at this point? [01:42 PM] Wack'd: Sue manages to dispatch two robots, one by flattening it with studio lights. Another tries to stretch around her force field so she just keeps making the field larger until it explodes [01:42 PM] Wack'd: Like putting too much air in a balloon, and then a thing happens [01:42 PM] maxwellelvis: Yeah. And in fact they've mocked the idea of her changing her name to "Invisible Woman" [01:42 PM] Wack'd: She switches to Invisible Woman in 1985 so we're still a few years off [01:43 PM] maxwellelvis: Yeah, that sounds like a Byrne-ism, iirc [01:45 PM] Wack'd: Anyway she gets a third to run into a wall that borders Namor's office fish tank [01:45 PM] Wack'd: Thus providing Namor enough water to get back to his feet since the robots earlier kicked his ass [01:46 PM] maxwellelvis: Popeye spinich theme [01:46 PM] Wack'd: IT'S 1978. DO. BETTER.

[01:47 PM] Bocaj: Its a bad trend in Fantastic Four sometimes that Sue needs to be told what to do with her powers [01:48 PM] Bocaj: Same thing with Hank Pym and the Wasp, even to the point where it makes the art make no damn sense [01:49 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Namor attacks the lead Retriever and then Sue turns him invisible so when the leader calls for help the robots attack the leader by accident [01:49 PM] Wack'd: And this destroys them all because no ontological inertia [01:49 PM] Bocaj: Of course. Don't you know anything about robotics? [01:50 PM] Bocaj: Its desirable to have everything explode when the lead unit does [01:50 PM] Bocaj: Its just tidier [01:50 PM] maxwellelvis: Like when the Master Mold was destroyed and that caused all the mk.I Sentinels to shut down. [01:50 PM] maxwellelvis: Or when that Droid Control Ship was destroyed and an entire planetary invasion force of Battle Droids just slumped over. [01:51 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Namor learned a thing. At some point. Because of robot fights? Possibly.

[01:51 PM] Bocaj: The droid control ship thing is particularly a weird example because the droids are self aware enough to have some personality and hopes and dreams and fear of death [01:52 PM] maxwellelvis: These droids aren't. The ones in Episode 1, I mean. [01:52 PM] maxwellelvis: They were basically drones. [01:52 PM] maxwellelvis: "Not like us! We're independent thinkers!" "Roger roger!" "Roger roger!"

[quintessence-sentimentalist]

quintessence-sentimentalist Takes on 30 Days of W.i.t.c.h.versary!: Week Three

Week Three already! Days 15 through 21 below the cut!

Day 15 Something that needs a quick fix

Ahaha, well, some 99.9% of things that need fixing with this series can’t be completed quickly, so let me just go with the simplest thing that comes to mind:

The uniform color errors.

In both the comic and cartoon, there are color swaps between the top and bottom, with Irma being the most frequent offender (frankly, I only remember Cornelia’s top being purple on the cover of one of the final Ludmoore arc issues, and maaaaaaaybe Hay Lin got a color swap once too, so basically it was all with Irma). I don’t know if it’s because she and Will might look a little similar in black-and-white or something and that’s why there was confusion over whose top is which color (although if that’s the case then why didn’t it happen to Will too?), but it just kept happening throughout the series. It’s even wrong on the official promo art/opening sequence end card for the animated series. 

So yeah. Easiest fix I can think of is to please check which color goes where before inking them in.

Day 16 Something that needs an overhaul

I’m just going to spin the wheel here...

Better executed romantic break-ups/avoidance of shitty break-ups altogether. Consistent lore. All the arcs New Power and beyond. New Power Matt. That one self-indulgent what-if I had about leaving Medina, McTiennan, and Sylla’s memories intact and they basically become the girls’ non-magical mentors and trusted adult figures who help them balance their lives between Guardianship and just being normal girls.

Uh... I can’t choose. 

I’ve talked at length about and reimagined a lot of these before (and will do so again, for sure), and those I haven’t people have discussed much more eloquently than I can. And I’m sure I’m still missing some, so I’m not going to get too deep into this and save that all for inevitable rambles later on.

Day 17 Something that needs to be revisited

The Astral Drops, hands down. Why bother sending them off to live new lives of their own, while pointedly leaving them with magical tattoos that will light up when Kandrakar must call on them, if you’re not going to loop back around to that? Honestly, this is something that should have slid back into the narrative in at least some way before things wrapped up.

Day 18 Something that needs more love from the fandom

It’s going to be too predictable if I start chanting “animated series Matt and Will/Matt” (but really, they do deserve all the love), so let’s go for a different angle this time.

Oh... well, I guess since I was already at it, maybe the animated series itself? 

Alright, look: I was a comics purist for a solid eight years. I watched the show in full and enjoyed particular (largely season 2) parts, but I still had the frequent complaint that it wasn’t a faithful adaptation and didn’t watch it again for years even when I regularly reread the comics. 

But then the English translations of the comic ended, and I was left without any real new material. A couple years later, I was about to go off to college and came across something that reminded me of the cartoon (more on that later on), and I figured what the hell.

It’s still not a perfect or even great adaptation of the comics, and sometimes I still struggle with getting through the first season, but going back to the animated series as a young adult - after years of distance from it and easing up on my rigid stance on comics-only - helped me gain a newfound appreciation for it. The animated series did some things I liked better than in the comics. It had a badass theme song. From a fan creator perspective, I found the cartoon universe a little bit more malleable and full of possibilities than with the comics, partially because it unexpectedly got cut short.

I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t necessarily have impeccable taste when it comes to media (I have a guilty pleasure for short-lived and long-forgotten early 00s sci-fi action shows. I unabashedly enjoyed the live-action Birds of Prey series, and that’s even more wildly inaccurate a comic adaptation than the W.i.t.c.h. cartoon). Still, I think about some other animated series that are based on beloved comics/manga but not direct adaptations, and some of those are considered just as good or even better than the originals (and potentially subsequent accurate adaptations). I feel like at the very least, the W.i.t.c.h. animated series could be a guilty pleasure, or even enjoyable AU adventures of the girls as they are in the comics. 

Day 19 Something small but unforgettable

Nothing was immediately coming to mind, but then it hit me. I love that the animated series changed the name of Will’s power to quintessence in the second season. 

In the comics, her powers were a bit of a nebulous space, while the others’ were clearly defined elements. I remember it being called “energy” or “absolute energy,” which... while not wrong, it’s just such a broad term, and frankly is missing some pizzazz to it. It wasn’t even a consistent name, since oftentimes Will just called out for the Heart, and then with New Power it became “the power to unite them” or something (uh... what?). I just think it’s weird to have one of your main characters without a clearly defined - or simply named - ability, unless it’s intentionally vague to allow for various deus ex machinas from the Heart, with Will serving solely as the conduit.

And that’s kind of what happened with the first season too, where Will was honestly only able to activate the Guardians and close portals and had no inherent offensive ability. So season 2 was great in the respect that they actually gave her a power, but then there was that name!

Seriously, quintessence. Even before you really know what it is, it’s a pretty kickass name, right?? It definitely has the mystical quality to it, and the fact that it literally translates as fifth essence/element makes it just too good. Guys, there’s a reason why it’s in my username.

(Well, that and the fact that seeing the word and its definition again after many years reminded me that I should rewatch the animated series, and that was what kicked off my spiral back into W.i.t.c.h. fandom. It did tie into the “sentimentalist” aspect in the end.)

Day 20 Something you’d always come back to

Hmm, I’m a little unclear on the prompt for this one, whether it means something I’ll reread/rewatch, or some idea from the series that just sticks with me. I’m going go with the first interpretation, which I guess also ties in with the second.

Hardly a surprise at this point, but I regularly rewatch the most pivotal episodes of the Shagon arc - those being L is for Loser, M is for Mercy, and S is for Self. I just love seeing Shagon in the forefront as a villain, and how Will knows how to deal with Nerissa in some respect at this point (staying suspicious - maybe a little bit too much - and learning to out-strategize the ex-Keeper), but goes absolutely ballistic and loses her calculating edge whenever she’s facing Shagon on his own. He knows exactly how to needle into her vulnerabilities, and the two of them engaging in emotional warfare is just so good. Watching these always gets me wondering how the fallout from this arc would have gone had we had more time and the series had a different tone (maybe more along the lines of Young Justice, to borrow a different Weisman show), because I’m firmly of the mind that Matt would have some lingering trauma from the experience (which he’s had to put aside to take on a new role and deal with everything else that came after he was freed) and I would have loved to see that play out.

As for the comics, though, I like to loop back around to the girls’ potential futures from issue 50. Their careers just fit them all so well, and the way their designs and friendship evolved into adulthood just felt right to me. They’re all grown up and more sophisticated now, but they don’t simply look like a slightly older version of their Guardian forms, and manage to maintain a semblance of their styles from their young teen days. And even though they’re no longer active Guardians and are busy with their own lives (sometimes in various other places), thus not being in each others’ back pockets anymore, you can tell their bond is holding just as firmly as it was forged back in the day. I vastly prefer this glimpse into the future over the one we’re shown in the post-New Power era, so I like to use it at least as a basis for when I imagine the girls post-Guardianship. 

Day 21 A memorable architectural design

I do love the design of Sheffield Institute. It’s just so elaborate and wildly different than what you’d normally see for a high school, at least from my view and experience. It certainly looks like a place with a rich history, and honestly I think it’s a great parallel to Kandrakar and the castles of Meridian and Arkhanta - not quite as regal or mystical, but still a structure with some elegance.

[lastsonlost]

Before anyone on the LEFT or RIGHT say anything this story is being covered by multiple Outlets.

That being said this story is STILL in development.

New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Saikat Chakrabarti, the progressive firebrand's multimillionaire chief of staff, apparently violated campaign finance law by funneling nearly $1 million in contributions from political action committees Chakrabarti established to private companies that he also controlled, according to an explosive complaint filed Monday with the Federal Election Commission (FEC) and obtained by Fox News.

Amid the allegations, a former FEC commissioner late Monday suggested in an interview with The Daily Caller News Foundation that Ocasio-Cortez and her team could separately be facing major fines and potentially even jail time if they were knowingly and willfully violating the law by hiding their control of the Justice Democrats political action committee (PAC). Such an arrangement could have allowed Ocasio-Cortez's campaign to receive donations in excess of the normal limit, by pooling contributions to both the PAC and the campaign itself.

The FEC complaint asserts that Chakrabarti established two PACs, the Brand New Congress PAC and Justice Democrats PAC, and then systematically transfered more than $885,000 in contributions received by those PACs to the Brand New Campaign LLC and the Brand New Congress LLC -- companies that, unlike PACs, are exempt from reporting all of their significant expenditures. The PACs claimed the payments were for "strategic consulting."

Although large financial transfers from PACs to LLCs are not necessarily improper, the complaint argues that the goal of the "extensive" scheme was seemingly to illegally dodge detailed legal reporting requirements of the Federal Election Campaign Act of 1971, which are designed to track campaign expenditures.

"It appears 'strategic consulting' was a mischaracterization of a wide range of activities that should have been reported individually," the complaint states.

The complaint was drafted by the conservative, Virginia-based National Legal and Policy Center (NLPC). Ocasio-Cortez and Chakrabarti, according to the NLPC's complaint, appeared to have "orchestrated an extensive off-the-books operation to make hundreds of thousands of dollars of expenditures in support of multiple candidates for federal office."

The funds, the NLPC writes, were likely spent on campaign events for Ocasio-Cortez and other far-left Democratic candidates favored by Chakrabarti, who made his fortune in Silicon Valley and previously worked on Bernie Sanders' 2016 presidential campaign. But no precise accounting for the expenses is available, and the complaint asks the FEC to conduct an investigation into the matter immediately

Brand New Congress LLC does not appear to be registered as an LLC in any state, according to the complaint, but is a registered 527 tax-exempt organization. Fox News confirmed that Brand New Campaign LLC is a registered Delaware corporation, but Brand New Congress LLC is not.

Ocasio-Cortez's office did not return a request for comment. But Chakrabarti defended the set-up on Twitter, saying, "We were doing something totally new, which meant a new setup. So, we were transparent about it from the start."

A separate explanation posted by Justice Democrats last year cast the arrangement as above-board. "The ONLY way to do work for multiple candidates legally at this scale is to create an LLC and act as a vendor," the group said.

In announcing the complaint the NLPC pointed to a 2016 interview on MSNBC, in which the 33-year-old Chakrabarti told anchor Rachel Maddow that he wanted to employ a "single, unified presidential-style campaign" model to "galvanize" voters nationally to elect progressives to Congress, while helping candidates avoid the stress of fundraising and managing their own campaigns.

Other legal experts also sounded the alarm on Monday, saying Chakrabarti's unusual arrangement raised serious unanswered questions.

Former FEC Associate General Counsel for Policy Adav Noti, who currently directs the Campaign Legal Center, told Fox News that it was a "total mystery" to him why Chakrabarti had established an LLC seemingly to take money from the PAC, rather than simply create a "normal venture," like a consulting business, to provide services for candidates on the books.

"Certainly, it's not permissible to use an LLC or any other kind of intermediary to conceal the recipient or purpose of a PAC's spending," Noti said. "The law requires the PAC to report who it disburses money to. You can't try to evade that by routing it through an LLC or corporation or anyone else."

Noti added: "What's so weird about this situation is that the PAC that disbursed so much of its money to one entity that was so clearly affiliated with the PAC. Usually, that's a sign that it's what's come to be known as a 'scam PAC' -- one that's operated for the financial benefit of its operators, rather than one designed to engage in political activity."

At the same time, Noti said, Chakrabarti had provided "long descriptions of why they structured it the way they did -- which is not something a scam PAC would do," because it only draws attention to the unusual setup. And Noti cautioned that there is a tendency for some groups to try to gain attention by invoking Ocasio-Cortez.

"But on the other hand," Noti added, Ocasio-Cortez's "explanations don't make a lot of sense on their face. I read their explanation multiple times, and I still don't understand. If you want to start a business to provide services to campaigns -- many of those are organized as LLC's, and you sell your services."

"I read their explanation multiple times, and I still don't understand."

— Former FEC Associate General Counsel Adav Noti

Instead, Chakrabarti "started a PAC, which has legal obligations to report all of is incoming and outgoing money, and then used the PAC to disperse its funds to the LLC," Noti said.

Added former FEC chairman Bradley A. Smith, in an interview with The Washington Examiner: "It's a really weird situation. I see almost no way that you can do that without it being at least a reporting violation, quite likely a violation of the contribution limits. You might say from a campaign finance angle that the LLC was essentially operating as an unregistered committee."

Last week, Anderson also raised concerns over Ocasio-Cortez's decision to announce, with much fanfare, that she would offer a minimum salary of $52,000 to her staffers, and a maximum salary of $80,000 -- far below the typical six-figure highs hit by chiefs of staff and other high-level congressional workers.

Government watchdogs pointed out that federal law requires congressional workers making more than $126,000 a year -- which would ordinarily include Chakrabarti -- to file detailed forms outlining all of their outside income, including investments and gifts.

“Purposefully underpaying staffers in order to avoid transparency is an old trick some of the most corrupt members of Congress have used time and again,” Anderson said.

Speaking to the New York Post, Ocasio-Cortez spokesman Corbin Trent dismissed the FEC complaint, saying the campaign had consulted an elections lawyer and that all money was properly accounted for.

“It was payment for services. ... We believe that complaint is politically motivated, basically intended to create a political story,” Trent told the Post.

Noti told Fox News that Trent's explanation could be plausible -- and if so, it might help Ocasio-Cortez's team avoid civil fraud lawsuits.

"One possibility -- a strong possibility, based on the description they put out, is they just got really bad legal advice that somehow said they had to to do this," Noti said. "But regardless, when they decided to use the PAC form, which they did, they subjected themselves to all the legal requirements that come with that."

Election laws are complicated, Noti added, and there have been some erroneous recent reports related to Ocasio-Cortez's campaign. For example, FEC filings reviewed by Fox News show that Ocasio-Cortez’s congressional campaign paid the Justice Democrats PAC more than $35,000 from 2017 to 2018 for "web services," “strategic consulting,” and "campaign services."

While some outlets have incorrectly reported that federal rules generally prohibit PACs from providing more than $5,000 in services to campaigns, Noti told Fox News that the payments were likely proper so long as they were for the fair market value of the services rendered.

In terms of possible penalties, Noti said that Ocasio-Cortez's campaign could be facing FEC fines if it followed bad legal advice and made reporting errors. But civil or even criminal fraud statutes, as opposed to campaign finance laws, would potentially kick in if it were determined that Chakrabarti had intentionally tried to hide the money to use for illicit expenses.

Meanwhile, former FEC commissioner Brad Smith told the Daily Caller News Foundation's investigative unit that, because Ocasio-Cortez may have held legal control of the Justice Democrats PAC while the PAC was supporting her campaign, the two committees were likely acting as affiliated committees -- and therefore share an individual contribution limit of $2,700 that might have been improperly and repeatedly exceeded.

The Daily Caller News Foundation's review of archived copies of the Justice Democrats PAC's website and relevant campaign documents indicated that Ocasio-Cortez and Chakrabarti "obtained majority control of Justice Democrats PAC in December 2017" -- and yet allegedly failed to disclose afterward to the FEC the fact that the PAC was supporting her candidacy.

Monday's FEC complaint comes on the heels of a separate complaint by the Washington, D.C.-based Coolidge Reagan Foundation, which alleged last week that the Brand New Congress PAC may have illegally funneled thousands of dollars to Ocasio-Cortez's live-in boyfriend, Riley Roberts.

It was first reported late last month that the Brand New Congress PAC paid Roberts during the early days of the Ocasio-Cortez campaign. According to FEC records, the PAC made two payments to Roberts – one in August 2017 and one in September 2017 – both for $3,000.

The FEC complaint specifically cites the use of "intermediaries" to make the payments, "the vague and amorphous nature of the services Riley ostensibly provided," the relatively small amount of money raised by the campaign at that stage and "the romantic relationship between Ocasio-Cortez and Riley" in asserting the transactions might violate campaign finance law.

The Coolidge Reagan Foundation -- a 501(c)(3) -- is requesting that the FEC look into the payments for potential violations on relevant campaign finance laws that state that campaign contributions “shall not be converted by any person to personal use” and that “an authorized committee must report the name and address of each person who has received any disbursement not disclosed.”

And this is the story so far. Everything's not out yet so

DON'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS !

[gascon-en-exil]

FE16 Black Eagles (Edelgard) Liveblogging

Chapters 15-16. The plot, among other things, explodes.

I was wondering where all the Eagles character paralogues were, and all of sudden come Chapter 15 three of them get dumped on you. Edelgard’s is a fight on the border against Nader and the Almyran remnant. Wyvern riders are unusually overpowered in this game, even as enemies. They’re not a unit type one expects to be so fast. Hubert goes back to the Sealed Forest to save Those Who Slither from their own failed creations. Both of these paralogues play up Hubert’s own talent for slithering in the dark: the first because it’s heavily implied that he poisoned Hilda’s brother so he’d have to rely on the Empire to push back the Almyrans, and the second because he’s been investigating Those Who Slither on the side all the while your army is being strong-armed into doing their bidding.

Petra and Bernadetta’s paralogue meanwhile has been the first map on this route that I haven’t seen before, a heavily forested section of Brigid. Bernadetta’s role there is almost completely random, but it comes together in the end in a way that feels satisfying. The chapter itself on the other hand features a cheap fakeout win condition, thankfully avoidable via Divine Pulse, and another appearance by the OP Catherine.

Playable kills: Flayn and Seteth from the church, Felix and Ingrid from the Lions. Now that the Alliance portion of the story is done I notice that Raphael and Lorenz skipped out on showing up this time, along with Marianne who doesn’t appear in the Lions’ Part 2 either. Actually, I’ve read that she’s the only playable character who doesn’t appear in Part 2 at all unless she’s in your army, with the implication that her depression and/or the dark story surrounding her Crest killed her or drove her to suicide in the timeskip. That’s...something.

I’ve also read that if you don’t recruit Shamir and Alois they show up in Chapter 15 to be killed...and that Manuela and Hanneman only do so on the Lions route in Dimitri’s paralogue for some reason. Weird.

I can confirm that the dark merchant does not sell Dark Seals. He’s only available in the second to last exploration month of Edelgard’s route, so you can’t get much use out of him anyway. Sucks for Hubert, but if I’m understanding correctly how you can buy classes with Renown the next time I use him I can just certify him for dark mage that way and get one seal for dark bishop. 

The brevity of this route sticks out more and more the closer I get to the end. Not so much for the story which is moving along at a brisk pace to match Edelgard’s resolve and concrete goal in contrast to Dimitri throwing everyone off with his unresolved personal issues, but for the gameplay. A bunch of my units aren’t going to make it master classes at this rate, and I’m tempted to not even touch Edelgard’s emperor class when it randomly becomes available after Chapter 15 (seriously, her armor just arrives from the capital? Are we timing lord promotions by the speed of parcel delivery now?) because there’s no timing and making her armored is kind of awful.

Story/Character observations

Chapter 15 opens with a bizarre interlude of Byleth coming upon Edelgard in her room at night, and an attempt at humanizing her by...telling us that she draws pictures of Byleth. That’s not even organic Avatar worship, come on. From what I remember her A support is more of the same, so I’m not holding out much hope for her big bi S rank.

Thankfully her two dorky subordinates salvage the character-based charm of this route. Ferdinand pokes a hole in the fourth wall and asks Byleth if they’ve thought about a world in which they chose another house or chose to side with the church, and while I can see the similarities with Conquest constantly dumping on Corrin’s choice this incident is isolated enough that I’m not feeling condescended to. Ferdinand’s A support with Byleth reveals that the first king of Faerghus - you know, the one with the very close *nudge nudge wink wink* friend akin to Felix - had a second very close friend who was just as indispensible but didn’t desire notoriety and so didn’t make it into many history books. Ferdinand compares this to what both he and Byleth are to Edelgard (I imagine this support is phrased very differently if gotten on any other route), but my mind went right to Kris, the shadow Avatar at Marth’s side who got left out of the original game historical accounts. While I believe that Byleth’s ending on Edelgard’s route actually is fairly out of the public eye, in other routes they’re either the archbishop or the ruler of the united continent. Byleth is very much not that type of Avatar who can just disappear at the end because how else could they sleep with the whole cast?

I can’t forget about Hubert either. Apparently he’s the one who gives Those Who Slither their infamously unwieldy name - thanks a lot, Hubie - during his investigations on how to out-evil them. When he’s not doing that he’s engaging in absurdly cute support conversations with Ferdinand where they’re both blushing and exchanging gifts with romantic music in the background. I also noted that they’re one of the couples who get special meal dialogue that evolves along with their supports. See, this is what I mean when I say that M/M and F/F subtext are on completely different playing fields. Dorothea will just come out and ask Manuela if they can live together and forget about finding men, or give Ingrid a ring and joke about owning her, etc. For the guys it’s watching them sputteringly make friendly gestures toward one another while blushing, or make promises to die together, or insist on the other using their given name (but in private!) to indicate that there’s going to be dick touching.

Nader dies during Edelgard’s paralogue. In combination with Judith’s death in Chapter 13 I think this is meant to indicate that this is the one non-Deer route that does not feature a large Almyran invasion after the credits roll. Even if you choose not to kill Claude as I did, without any of his close allies (who are also his parents, in the case of those two?) the implication is that he won’t have the strength to pursue his own dreams of continental conquest. Good on him to outright admit that he has them to Edelgard, though.

Speaking of the game admitting things that otherwise only go implied, let’s talk about those explosions. The Black Eagle Strike Force feints toward Fhirdiad but moves instead to conquer Arianrhod, with Edelgard and Hubert’s target being specifically Cornelia. Cornelia in this route hasn’t betrayed Faerghus to the Empire yet, but according to Arundel she was planning to as a member of Those Who Slither despite lacking their characteristic pallor. Arundel responds by using “pillars of light” - more likely those anachronistic ballistic missiles seen in a church route cutscene - to blast the fortress into oblivion and kill a bunch of people inside.I’m ignoring how petty it seems of Arundel/Thales to nuke a valuable military installation just to get revenge on Edelgard for killing a minion who was going to help Edelgard do what she’s about to do in the last two chapters anyway. No, what fascinates me about this situation is how Edelgard and Hubert immediately spin this for the rest of their army, saying it was Rhea’s doing and using it to motivate the Strike Force to conquer Fhirdiad as quickly as possible. Ever since I got her C support I’ve been curious as to why Edelgard harbors so much personal hatred for the church when Those Who Slither were the ones responsible for torturing her and her siblings for Crest research. Here she’s deliberately making that misdirection, which....doesn’t answer my question at all but does at least demonstrate that the writers are aware of it. How it will all play out, or if this is something that only makes sense when considering information learned from the church and/or Deer routes is yet to be determined.

Looking at this from the perspective of the Strike Force though I can see why they’d need some additional pushing to get invested in how evil Rhea is. She’s done very little so far to follow up on her creepy authoritarian vibes from Part 1, and the scene of her grieving Seteth and Flayn’s deaths only makes her regain some sympathy because of how personally she takes their loss. They have to be saving it all up for the finale. There will have to something to the antagonists we’re about to fight, because so far DImitri in this route has been even more of a non-entity. Of course I know that Chapter 17 brings not one but two flavors of gay tragedy, but in-universe I doubt anyone on the Strike force is squeeing over the Tempest King and his very devoted vassal.

[dr-nero-is-god]

i know why dr. nero read a tale of two cities: you’re welcome

let me assure you, you do not follow someone with an english literature degree for nothing. today i will deliver unto you some thoughts on a tale of two cities by charles dickens.

did it take me two months to read the whole book? yes. did i like it? kinda yeah. but did mark walden really pick this book for a reason? yes. yes. i promise you: it’s not just a random, old, boring book picked for the sake of being boring and old.

but before you fight me on that point, let’s all make sure we understand the story (under the cut). 

what is a tale of two cities about?

a tale of two cities (henceforth abbreviated as ATTC), in one sense, is about the triumph of family and the ability for social order to survive great evil—that is, the French Revolution—bonded with themes of great sacrifice and salvation. 

Doctor Mannette was a prisoner of the Bastille for ten years, and when he escapes he hardly knows himself. He is rescued by the love of a daughter he has never met before, Lucie, and though she is nearly an adult they form an unbreakable father-daughter bond that carries them through Lucie’s marriage and eventual motherhood. Lucie marries Charles Darnay, who, like herself and her father, is of French nationality but lives in England. Unfortunately, Charles is the son of an aristocrat, and so when he is caught in France during the revolution, he is sentenced to death. Ultimately, though, a friend of the family (Sydney) redeems himself by arriving to die in Charles’ place, and Lucie’s family sets out back to England.

in one sense, ATTC is kind of a proto-political thriller—it's asking big questions like, what is justice? how should people respond when they are oppressed? how do they respond when they are oppressed? how do families survive when injustice reigns?—in the setting of spies and political clout.

and that’s well and good, but it’s also very abstract. in the concrete, why might mark walden have picked this book, out of all the books?

we can get the simple things out of the way. it’s long. believe it or not, dickens is a great author to read aloud, because his prose is very sparkly. it’s a weird book to use to try and get a teenager to like you. all of this is a factor, sure. but i have three reasons that I think *might* have mattered to this book’s selection. 

Neither Raven nor Nero is quite so stainless as these characters, but they are likewise united by a found family relationship. Nero pulls Raven from a life of death and torture and misery—a place where she has been just as much a captive as Doctor Manette or Charles Darnay. Though they must face the possibility of death every day, Nero says, “Hey. I’ll walk with you.” As I mentioned before, ATTC is about social stability winning out against chaotic violence, which is an apt parallel to the life Nero offers Raven against that which Anastasia Furan has provided so far. Nero is the stability that helps Raven find new life, and we know it to be a good thing. 

1) Because this is very much a book about found family.

Lucie first meets her father when she is about to finish the second decade of her life. Her father is a stranger to her, and yet their connection is immediate and saving for the both of them. At the beginning of the book, the relationship they build represents the first victory of family—and the hope that they survive the end is likewise our consolation. Yet even at the end, when only the guillotine awaits Sydney, found family is in play. Sydney goes to die in Charles Darnay’s stead and finds himself in the company of a seamstress, who also does not deserve to die. They don’t know each other, and yet they find refuge in each other at their point of death: companions on the road to the next life.

Dr. Nero would never love a book if the villains were not sympathetic, if not justified, if not right. And this is one of those books where—even though the protagonists are a little too perfect to deserve anything nasty—the villains might be right. In fact, they may not be sympathetic, and yet there's the possibility that they are right. The system has to come down, people have to be ripped from their pedestals, and things have to change. The ensuing conflict is violent and unjust, and yet it's that kind of evil and firmness I can see Dr. Nero admiring. Furthermore, it is the conflict that Raven might wish to embrace as retaliation against what she has experienced at the hands of Anastasia. There is a system that Raven would be ready to tear down, and this novel offers space for that.

2) Because despite the fact that our protagonists are a family we want to see win, the antagonists are extremely easy to root for.

The villains in ATTC include the government, a man named Defarge, his wife, The Vengeance, and agents Jacques 1, 2, and 3. It is true that guillotining a lot of people without necessarily requiring evidence is pretty bad, but you can also understand why these people are angry. People have been starving. The aristocracy has absolutely abused its power. Men are indentured in hard labor, women are held captive, children are murdered, and that’s life, because aristocrats are kings. Again, I am *not* saying that everybody in the French Revolution was altogether justified, but their motivations remain valid.

Now, let’s pause. I stand by my first two reasons—these are clear elements of intertextuality between ATTC and H.I.V.E. that absolutely exist between the books. They are valid, but I would also feel comfortable saying that maybe Mark Walden didn’t have them in mind when he published Deadlock. 

However, I still stand by my assertion that he picked this book for a particular reason, and this last one is that reason:

“‘Then tell Wind and Fire where to stop,’ returned madame; ‘but don’t tell me.’”

3) Because Madame Defarge is a fucking badass.

I could tell that Madame Defarge was a great character from the beginning. Though she was mainly in the background to start, she received a few flourishes of detail that indicated she was something special. Like a deathly Fate, Madame Defarge develops as the personification of the French Revolution: a violent, chaotic quasi-assassin character who is determined to rain hell down upon everyone she hates. (note: she hates the protagonists. a lot.) Madame Defarge is unfettered by constraints of family and so she is free to arm herself with a pistol and a dagger and take people’s lives into her own hands. She single-handedly leads her fellow women into the fray when the Bastille falls. She, too, is a character with whom one would not want to mess. And some of the things said about her are just FANTASTIC. 

“Of a strong and fearless character, of shrewd sense and readiness, of great determination, of that kind of beauty which not only seems to impart to its possessor firmness and animosity, but to strike into others an instinctive recognition of those qualities; the troubled time would have heaved her up, under any circumstances. But, imbued from her childhood with a brooding sense of wrong, and an inveterate hatred of a class, opportunity had developed her into a tigress. She was absolutely without pity.”

“Lying hidden in her bosom, was a loaded pistol. Lying hidden at her waist, was a sharpened dagger. Thus accoutred, and walking with the confident tread of such a character, and with the supple freedom of a woman who had habitually walked in her girlhood, bare-foot and bare-legged, on the brown sea-sand, Madame Defarge took her way along the streets.”

Wow, right?

What we have here is a woman who is more immovable than the elements, a primal embodiment of predatory strength, and, one might even argue, a picture of liberated femininity whose freedom is rooted as much in her body as in her weapons. 

This is something I know: Dr. Nero and Mark Walden both would notice and care a great deal about such a character. 

I shan’t make mincemeat of Walden’s personal thoughts, but I can speculate why this woman would matter to Dr. Nero. 

One, Madame Defarge is cheated of her victory. Dr. Nero would absolutely take issue with the way the madame exits the book, not least of all because he would know that she could do better. You know those books where you think the villain should have won? This is one such book.

Two, Madame Defarge parallels the violence in Anastasia Furan. This is a woman whose family has been shattered by violence, who may well deserve remuneration for what happened, who is hurt and beaten but not yet killed... and she’s also totally stuck in the past. A main theme of ATTC is that oppression will only beget violence, and likewise, Anastasia doesn’t have anything in her future but death. 

But third, and most importantly, Madame Defarge is the character with whom Raven is most likely to identify with, and the character she most needs to escape. Raven starts her story also shattered, also violent, and, most tragically, trapped in somebody else’s past. I think teenage-Raven would find Madame Defarge the most engaging character to listen to, but she is also the character she must break away from—leave behind the chaos and accept a more reliable structure in her life—to avoid being smothered by anger that will never really get anyone anywhere. 

In other words, it may be that Madame Defarge is the villain who first inspired Nero and who he hopes will inspire Raven as she reinvents herself apart from Anastasia’s chaos. Madame Defarge is a call to action.

If you’re still with me after all of that, you might be thinking, cool, but why does this matter? Who really cares about a book that got mentioned one time and nothing came of it?

I’m glad you asked.

At the end of the day, Nero and Raven’s relationship parallels the love that ATTC’s characters find when they are trapped in darkness and death, but their business parallels the grim revenge that Madame Defarge sets out to wreak upon the world—and it is the business of their enemies, as well.  

It matters because we get a more complex moral landscape with morally complex characters.

In A Tale of Two Cities, the good people are saved and the bad people do not get their revenge. Things in H.I.V.E. are not so simple. Nero and Raven share the stability of family at the same time that they long for revenge; traditional poles of “good” and “bad” occupy the same hearts at the same time. 

Why does Dr. Nero read this book to Raven? I think one way to read it is that it’s his way of saying, “We’re together in this, and I believe that you can be saved and have your revenge too. We can admire Madame Defarge, and we can do better. ” 

For Dr. Nero to read this book to Raven when nothing but a story can save her, A Tale of Two Cities is a promise that there is room for badass assassin ladies in literature and in life. Raven’s story doesn’t close with her first failure.

For those of us who live outside the pages of the book, the presence of this book means something for us as well. If you, too, can hold an assassin in your heart, then you are also participating in the work of salvation. When you listen to a story and get to know someone, you pluck them from obscurity and bring them into the fold—if even the most chaotic and violent of us can belong, then anyone can. 

Raven can. 

Nero can. 

And so can you.

[itsjustcommon]

My Testimony... finally

I’ve been avoiding writing this out for a long time. I’ve always had a hard time sharing my testimony. But recently I’ve seen a few people share theirs and it helped me a lot, so maybe mine can help someone else.

The thing I guess that I’m ashamed of most is that worst sins came after I was saved. My story is one of backsliding down Everest basically. But I’ll start in the beginning.

I was raised in a household that professed to be Christian. I was in church almost three times a week. I was forced to memorize scripture since 9 (I’m much more grateful for that now than I was then). Despite my parents being Christian we didn’t talk a lot about it. I remember in sixth grade we had a Sex Ed portion of our science class. I went to school in Wisconsin, it was a very liberal curriculum. They told us about pornography and masturbation and how they were a healthy part of growing up. Now I have to give my 6th grade self credit because something immediately sketched me out about that. I went to my mom and straight up asked her if masturbation was a sin. She said she would get back to me… I still haven’t gotten an answer from her yet.

Despite being extremely curious, I didn’t go there. That next summer my family moved from Wisconsin, all the way to Louisiana. I went to a small public school called Church Point middle, which is ironic because it was opposite of anything remotely godly. I guess kids are more sheltered in the town I was from because I learned a lot the next year. These kids were sexually active, knew every swear word you could think of, got into fights constantly, were so disrespectful to everyone and everything around them. It was honestly one of the worst years of my life. I stuck out like a sore thumb, I didn’t curse, I couldn’t tell you much about sex, I actually tried to do well in class, I was nice to the teachers, I had a weird northern accent and I pretty much kept to myself. Prime bullying material. I got called pretty much every name in the book but because the guys were so aggressive, my friends were pretty much exclusively girls, so queer was the name they settled on. I found out later it was someone I thought was my friend who started that rumor. At this point I had basically one friend- her name was Natia, she was a lesbian that already had a 1 year old baby-in seventh grade.

Seventh grade is where I started watching porn, I was already depressed and I felt like I couldn’t go to my parents for anything. My behavior started conforming to the people around me, I started swearing, manipulating people, cheating, getting into fights, ironically I developed this pridefulness over being morally superior to the people around me-despite engaging in all the same activities.

Eighth grade my parents moved me and my sisters into a private Christian school my mom worked at. That’s where I attended until I graduated. I was in a new environment so my actions changed accordingly. I became the meek kid again, I tried in school again, I stopped swearing(out loud), I became the good Christian boy I was expected to be. But there was one thing I couldn’t kick, I couldn’t stop watching porn, I didn’t want to either. I justified it because I has never heard anyone talk about porn in church, that must mean that it wasn’t a sin.

I met a kid named Timothy in eighth grade, there was something different about him. He was funny without being vulgar, he was a leader without trying, he loved Jesus not just with his mouth but his whole life. He was someone I wanted to be friends with, I wanted him to show me what he had that I didn’t. He was effortlessly Timothy, I felt like every move I made was all an act.

It wasn’t until sophomore year that we got close. But I got so much worse in the meantime. I was looking at pornography on an almost daily basis. The “soft core” stuff wasn’t enough for me anymore. I actually started watching gay porn, partially because I was still insecure from being called queer everyday for a year, it was a way to reclaim my sexuality I guess, make it my choice, and in part just because it was something that felt new and different. Again during all this time I still considered myself a Christian.

My sophomore schedule worked out in a way that I spent most of my day with Timothy, including a free period. It was because of this that we became really close. I remember one conversation where he asked me if I had ever shared my faith with someone. I told that I hadn’t and he challenged me to really think about why that was. He started reading the Bible with me, giving me books to read on my own, really discipling me. He confronted me about my sin and got me to the point where I admitted that I wasn’t acting like a Christian, and not only that but I had never acted like a Christian. He made me realize the title of Christian is a hat you can take off and on. That part of my sophomore year was one of the best seasons of my life. I felt like the dusty skeletons of religion became this thing that made me feel alive, really alive. For the first time reading the Bible felt new and fresh and exciting. It was my lifeblood

This is when I really started feeling convicted about my pornography addiction. I reached out to a mentor figure from my church who was a few years older than me. I called him in the middle of the night crying about how ashamed I was and how I needed someone to keep me accountable. And things got better, it wasn’t perfect repentance but God was changing my desires.

That same year my dad went to prison. That destroyed me, I’d never felt super close to my dad and all this did was push me further from him. My mom couldn’t afford rent with her single salary, if it weren’t for the church we would have been homeless. It was not a good time for my family. I fell back into my sin. And I feel like it was worse this time around because I knew it was wrong and I did it anyway. I stopped praying and going to church. I couldn’t even open my bible without wanting to throw up. I hated myself. I felt like God must hate me too.

I didn’t stay there long. I was able to forgive my dad and God brought me back. I helped a buddy start this small group program at our school and I threw myself into writing the curriculum and learning as much about God as possible. I learned that when I told others about the Gospel I was also preaching it to myself. When I stopped sharing the gospel I seemed to forget it too. My dad was released from prison in my senior year of high school, soon after he moved back in with my mom. Things seemed good, and they were. This was a season of restoration.

I was nearing graduation. I had good grades, I planned on going to LSU. I had the ACT scores, most of the cost would be covered by scholarships. I planned to major in philosophy and maybe to law school. One night when I was praying I got super convicted—I realized that I hadn’t gone to God for any of these major life decisions I was making on my own. So I asked him where he wanted me to go and he told me—the United States Air Force. So that was where I set my sights, I started getting prepared for that. It was strange because I went to a college prep school, it was assumed that I was going to college basically my whole life, I never thought about doing anything different.

This is a good time to talk about my summer job. I worked at a small baptist camp. I lived there during the summer in a house with 10 other Christian guys and worked with another 10 Christian girls. These people became my family almost immediately. We had weekly bible studies with our bosses, and often stayed up till morning just talking about Jesus. That summer was the closest I ever felt to God. I felt like he was revealing so much to me. All we did was serve campers and talk about Jesus so he was always on the forefront of my mind. I wish that season never came to an end.

At the end of the summer I shipped out to San Antonio for basic training. Armed with my Bible I was ready. It was tough, not because we did anything particular hard but because I felt so isolated from my friends and family. My first Sunday there I was able to attend church and it was so refreshing, I wept for most of the worship. Basic training was one of the most fruitful mission fields I’ve ever seen. All I had to do was open my bible and within 5 minutes someone would come up to me curious about God. I guess these people being isolated made them realize how hungry they were for the gospel.

After two months I graduated and headed to my tech training. I was there for 6 months. I didn’t have a car so I didn’t go to church. I got lazy. I stopped sharing the gospel, I stopped reading my Bible. And I backslide. I had this new found freedom to do whatever I wanted. I had no accountability to anyone. I was away from my parents for the first time and with it came incredibly loneliness. I fell back into my pornography addiction. It was worse than before, I had to look at crazier and crazier stuff to feel anything. And when porn wasn’t enough anymore I started talking to strangers online, posting pictures of myself on the internet. Someone recognized that I was in a Air Force dorm and asked me which base I was at. Turns out he lived 2 floors down from me. We had sex, it was just the next step, watching porn wasn’t doing it for me anymore so I lived out my fantasies. I found out later he was married. That didn’t stop me from seeing him a few more times. I just felt numb, even after I stopped seeing him. I knew it was the worst thing I’ve ever done but I couldn’t process any of my feelings about it. I started to punish myself by running every night. I would push myself to run 8 to 9 miles every night. I lost so much weight. It was incredibly unhealthy but I didn’t know what else to do. I had never messed up this badly, I felt like I lost my salvation. I couldn’t bear to think about it, so I didn’t. I kept running. I wanted to kill myself, but I was too afraid of Hell.

I went home for a few weeks after tech school was over in April. It was bittersweet, I missed them so much but I felt like I was lying to them. Finally I spilled my guts, I talked to one of my friends while I was home and I explained what I had done. Basically they told me to stop moping, I was at rock bottom but wasn’t doing anything about it. God commands repentance, so I needed to stop hiding from him. He was waiting with open arms. I took one step, I confessed to God and he was faithful to forgive. I took one step toward home and it felt like God ran to met me where I was at. Sometimes it was hard to “feel” forgiven. Eventually I had to acknowledge that I was forgiven even when I didn’t feel it.

I was assigned to my first permanent duty station that April. I’ve been here in Washington since then. I still struggle. I go to a small church, I’m part of a men’s bible study-I’m the youngest guy there by 35 years. It’s nice to be back in a position of being discipled, in my experience that typically means God is preparing me for something big. If I had to guess it’s probably my upcoming deployment. I’m hopeful for the future. God is still restoring me. Everyday I desire him more and my sin less. Sometimes progress seems slow going but it’s progress nonetheless. God is faithful, I’m confident he will finish the good work He began in me.

Takeaways:

If I'm not preaching the gospel as often as I can, I forget it. The number one way that I can be sure I'm keeping Jesus at the forefront of my mind is by telling other people what he did for sinners

There is no “too far gone”

Sometimes a Christian’s greatest sins are still in front of them, have faith that Jesus died for those sins too.

The Bible is serious when it says to flee sexual immorality. Do not toe the line. Run away-it is a slippery slope.

Scripture especially important to me:

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6)

Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. (1 Corinthians 6:9-12)

If anyone in the LGBT+ community is reading this I want you to know I don’t hate you, I’m not better than you. I have no high horse to ride on.

I’m just a beggar telling another where I found bread.

[tkjunkdrawer]

Was thinking about Juxcubae again. Sometime ago I mentioned something about prostitution being legal in the world of Litch Slush because of the existence of Juxcubae. So, how's it handled?

Basically, there's small hotels that cater specifically to this, known [PUNNILY] as JuxtaPositions. Juxcubae can show up and hang around whenever they need a meal or some money, and take whichever clients request them. There's photos of all the Juxcubae on the premises at the front desk, so clients can take their pick. A receptionist alerts the Juxcubae when they've been requested and sends the client on up to the corresponding room. As ridiculous as it sounds, people can also make appointments to bone with particular Juxcubae, if they want; it's all done through the company. Business is business.

None of the Juxcubae's personal information is available to the general public, and they all go by fake names [Azhrune, for example, goes by "Midnight," which is absolutely cheesy] while at work. They also get to set their own rates, as well as choosing what they are and aren't willing to do. They're well within their right to reject clients, or stop mid-session if they feel uncomfortable or unsafe.

The Juxcubae who work at these places are actually really well-protected. Violence against sex workers is a thing in any reality, sad as that is, but the Juxta buildings are really safe. The rooms all have magic that detects things like fear, distress, panic, and anxiety [things that wouldn't come up in a safe or consensual scenario], and the spell will immediately immobilize whoever is causing said distress, basically freezing their body up like a statue against whatever wall is immediately opposite them, to give the victim room. Said spell then alerts the building's security guards, and they come and handle things as needed.

And of course, there's plenty of, er, "equipment" available. You want it, they've got it on site somewhere. Everything is sanitized after use [and the people who do it do get fairly compensated for having to scrub up other people's bodily fluids], because that shit is important. Anything deemed questionable or potentially unsafe to use further is trashed and replaced. Juxcubae are welcome to bring their own stuff, but the JuxtaPosition provides pretty much anything you'd want or need for whatever filth you're engaging in today.

Up until now, I've only mentioned Juxcubae working at these places, though. Truth is, there's definitely humans who work there, too. Everyone's got their reasons for ending up there, but they're not really treated any differently by than the Juxcubae by the company itself. They're afforded all the same perks and protection than their inhuman coworkers get. No judgement, no questions asked, as long as you follow the rules, you're welcome to earn a living here. While the initial description of these places may sound a bit seedy, they're actually surprisingly positive environments. The Juxcubae understand better than anyone that sometimes, this is the only way you can live.

As for the clientele, there's a good mix of humans and demons that come looking for a good time. Some humans are interested in the novelty of demons and vice-versa. Not always the case, of course, but nobody's judging if it is. Though a Juxcubae will generally have to get it on with a few humans before they're feeling rejuvenated. I have mentioned before than the energy in human souls isn't as "hearty" as demons. Lack of magic.

Besides that, JuxtaPositions are generally well-kept, especially the ones located in bigger cities. The place Azhrune takes his calls at genuinely looks like an upscale hotel both outside and inside, and can easily be mistaken as such until you get to the desk and see the book of photos and the panel of colored lights that indicates which rooms are in use and which are empty; White for vacant, blue for occupied but not working, red for active session, do not disturb. Juxcubae are welcome to lounge in the [very nice and comfortable] rooms while waiting for requests, or they can hang around the lobby if they want. They also get to decide however many clients they want to take or how long they want to be there that day. It's pretty chill considering the debauchery going on in the rooms. Being that Juxcubae have to fuck to live, demons as a whole don't have the same weird stigmas surrounding sex that humans do. This is just another job, and it's not uncommon to see Jux and humans sitting in the lobby reading, chatting, playing g on their phones, and generally just relaxing in their downtime, only to get up and immediately switch into "customer service" mode when somebody wants them. Though, uh, customer service here is obviously different from, like, retail or something.

Demons actually brought the whole system over from their side of the portal, where it was established an astoundingly long time ago and then refined over the centuries to what it is today. I think I talked about that once briefly; basically, since Juxcubae need sex to survive, there had to be an allowance for it. Because "just go engage in your disgusting customs on your side of the portal" went over REALLY POORLY, and the idiot politician who said it was buried in backlash. Those "disgusting customs" are literally what keeps the Juxcubae alive, and now they're here and they need to survive. Telling such a large group to suck it up and die or GTFO so openly was met with outrage not just from a state, or even a country, but an entire dimension of living, intelligent beings whose size and population is on par with that of our own.

If that's how the Juxcubae were going to be treated, then who was next? Dumping waste into the rivers of the water nymphs and telling them to fuck off and go back where they came from if they don't like it? Telling the werewolves that our vets and hospitals will no longer tend to them, too bad if they're fatally injured, they gotta go through the portal to be treated? How far is this kind of discrimination going to go?

"Fuck that," said the demons. "We're taking our ball and going home."

In a unified movement that humanity had never seen the likes of before, every demon and magical being disappeared from our world back to theirs, taking the magic with them.

It didn't last long. Everyone had become so accustomed to living alongside demons and their magic that our world couldn't function normally, because that's how it had developed. There were the little things that were missed: Spell capsules that eased anxiety and soothed pain much more effectively than any pharmaceuticals, condensed spells to banish dust and grime in an instant, herbs from Arcanae that tasted like nothing in our our world that has quickly become staples of many cuisines across the world. Then the biggest issue: Magic and science were two sides of the same coin, so intertwined at this point that it was unfathomable to move forward without magic. It was possible, sure, but there was so much more that we could do with both things together.

Humanity apologized for this catastrophic fuck-up and asked to make amends. Demonkind was like "let the Juxcubae do what they need to do to survive," humanity agreed, and everyone came back. Things clicked back into place like nothing that changed in the first place--except for these new buildings popping up.

And from there, lettings the humans also take part in it legally wasn't too much of a stretch, especially since the demons made it legal for humans on their side of the portal, and if they're doing it, how poorly does it reflect on humanity to not let their own people do it at home? Now they're going over there to do this stuff--and it's safer than walking the streets? Fuck it, we might as well just go with it.

That's the very abridged version of the whole thing. This is the kind of thing they do an entire unit on in history class because the impact was huge. They called it The Great Arcane Absence. While the Arcane Absence itself really only lasted about a week, the tension and arguments leading up to it stretched back a ways; legal prostitution Earthside was something Juxcubae were pushing for for a long time, until things finally boiled over. Which is why the reaction was so extreme.

So, yeah. JuxtaPositions.

[cinenthusiast]

Previous Top Ten By Year lists:  1935, 1983, 1965, 1943, 1992, 1978, 1925, 1969 1930

Previous Top Ten By Year: 1949 Posts: Top Ten By Year: 1949 – Poll Results 100 Images from the Films of 1949 What I’ll Remember About the Films of 1949: A Love Letter #10. The Queen of Spades (UK/Dickinson)  #9. Rendezvous in July (Becker)/Au royaume des cieux (Duvivier) (France) #8. Too Late for Tears (US / Haskin)  #7. The Heiress (US / Wyler)  #6. The Set-Up (US / Wise)  #5. Caught (US / Ophüls) #4. The Passionate Friends (UK / Lean)  #3. Puce Moment (US / Anger) #2. The Third Man (UK / Reed) 

For those unaware of my Top Ten By Year project:  The majority of my viewing habits have been dictated by this project since September of 2013. Jumping to a different decade each time, I choose comparatively weaker years for me re: quantity of films seen/quantity of films loved. I use list-making as a way to see more films and revisit others in a structured and project-drive way. I was sick of spending too much time trying to decide what to watch, or watching films just to cross them off another dumb canon list. I wanted to engage. I wanted films to be enhanced by others, by looking at a specific moment in time. I wanted something that led me to seeing or revisiting things I might not have gotten to otherwise. Lastly, my lists are based on personal favorites, not any weird notion of an objective best.

This is the first year I’ll be doing separate posts for each film. #9 will go up Monday. After that, one will go up each day until the end. Then I’ll post them all together so they are gathered in one place. There are a lot of films I loved that did not make the cut. In particular, Flamingo Road, Such a Pretty Little Beach, On the Town, Inspirace, The Reckless Moment, Reign of Terror, The Rocking Horse Winner, and Samson and Delilah are all films I thought at one point would be on here. Of all of these, Flamingo Road was a sure thing until it wasn’t at the very last minute. Please go watch it.

#1. Bitter Rice (Italy / De Santis) (first-time watch)

Two women and two cultures intertwined.

There are two sides to Bitter Rice. One has neorealism, Silvana, and Italy. The other has film noir, Francesca, and America. When all is said and done these two women will have swapped places, for better and much worse. And when Italy’s other neorealist filmmakers see Bitter Rice, they will take it as a betrayal of truth and the political. In short, they hated it. In this time of crucial political upheaval when neorealism carried legitimate cultural cache, director Giuseppe De Santis had made something too slick, too tawdry, and too American. The message was tarnished by the method. But De Santis was a Marxist who happened to admire and study John Ford, King Vidor, and the visual patterns of Hollywood studio filmmaking. He saw mass appeal as a way to both entertain and denounce, and made a film in which neorealism is hijacked and reconfigurated to be a noir melodrama.

Bitter Rice has a lot of recognizably neorealist markers; location shooting, a focus on labor and economic struggle, the tactile particulars of rice worker life, and the use of the specific cultural practices such as the choral Coralita. The sound of women wading through water, the way it would around their legs, and the strain of being hunched over day after day — it’s all made vivid. But it is easy to see why Bitter Rice would seem a betrayal. Its mutinous synthesis of “authenticity” and artificiality was a signpost towards neorealism’s end. Soon there would be stars, genre, production in the Italian film industry.

The synthesis is clear from the very first scene. The authenticity of the mondine (female rice workers) is introduced with grandiosity and sweep. There are no docu-elements here, but plenty of elaborate tracking and crane shots to go around, the kind of gradually encompassing images you’d be more likely to find in a DeMille epic. Watching the very first scene I thought: “Wait — what am I in for?”. All preconceived notions were immediately scrapped, and I realized my trip to the rice fields of Po Valley would be a very different one indeed. Then, a couple carrying stolen jewels are chased into the station waiting to transport the workers to the fields. Their arrival feels like an alien invasion, as if some freak chemical accident at the film lab spilled one film into another. This dichotomy plays throughout with electric and arresting cohesion, making it so distinctly unlike any other film from its movement. 

While De Santis was inspired by the Hollywood narrative format, he also uses American culture’s insidious postwar presence to illustrate the dangers of breaking from solidarity for hollow (the fake jewels!) individual gain. This is done using the two incredible and complex women of Bitter Rice‘s center. After Francesca the Moll (Doris Dowling, an American actress) is forced to assimilate in the rice fields, she finds purpose among the mondine. In order to stay in hiding, she has to advocate for the rights of her fellow non-contract workers. But this is never done as a means to an end. Francesca never schemes to stay on; she is always shown as sincerely leading the protests for the group. Life becomes bigger than herself, and she learns to stand both as her own woman, and as part of the mondine.

Francesca also begins to see her personal life more clearly. You get the sense that despite loving Walter (Vittorio Gassman), she is not blind to how reprehensible he is (I mean, in the first scene he literally used her as a human shield so….). But she had nowhere to go, and no strength to pull away. Life in Po Valley gives her that strength. The value of the collective is present throughout, with choral scenes, aerial shots showcasing the lines of working women linked together, and fragments of peripheral characters and their various troubles. They push themselves to the brink under oppressive conditions just to make it to the next job, and there is power in their (at times friction-filled) solidarity (I was also reminded of last year’s Support the Girls, also about a community of women united by unforgiving labor).

Then there is the shrewd but naive young Silvana (Silvana Mangano, who I’ll talk about later), a peasant that dreams of wealth. She is seduced by all things coded America and money (she should talk to Caught’s Leonora!). We first meet her doing the boogie woogie (she does a lot of dancing, employed for seduction and statement). In this group of women, where everyone is introduced as part of a whole, she immediately stands out as modern. She chews gum, loves big-band, and is seen reading photo-romances, the then-popular prepackaged fantasies that were read by lower and working class Italian women. Silvana wants out; she longs for adventure, riches, and a certain kind of romance. But the way out that presents itself is a different kind of way out, and she is too blinded by inexperience to understand it.

The camera links Francesca and Silvana all the time. Whether in two-shots or individual spaces, there is an invisible tether between them. Their lives and fates take part in a film-length body-swap. Silvana talks about fate a lot, but is seen making deliberate choices towards certain doom. She can’t see Walter for what he is — an exploiter and a monster. But Francesca gives her an out, replaying about her life with Walter and the terrible things he has done. She tries to take the abuse and hardship she lived through and save someone else from making the mistakes she did. But Silvana can’t see past the jewels and the suit. There is only the potential for excitement, for something that is not this. After all, Walter “looks like a gentleman” (aka a hotshot gumshoe); so he must be, right? While Francesca’s transformation is one of victorious camaraderie, Silvana’s (both actress and character) is altogether much murkier; one marked by punishment.

Silvana Mangano never wanted her body to represent the whole of Italy, but it did. Audiences were scandalized just seeing the unapologetically full female form (au natural, code for Armpit Hair), the kind that becomes sexualized simply by existing. She was the prototype of the “earthy women” that would cause such a stir overseas (later embodied by Gina Lollobrigida and Sophia Loren). She started out by winning Miss Rome, a post-war contest that further enhanced the idea of body-as-nation, and an honor that became synonymous with future screen tests. Unlike Lollobrigida and Loren, Mangano didn’t cash in on overseas notoriety for a Hollywood career. She became resentful of her image, and of fame, eventually giving herself a drastic reinvention (her figure was now svelte and arch, her look cold) and starring in art films by Pasolini and Visconti in the late 1960s and 1970s (and Dune!).

The camera doesn’t ogle Mangano Tex Avery style; this isn’t Jane Russell in The Outlaw. But it aims to stay back, taking in the whole of her whenever possible. And you can’t help but take part in that — I love looking at her. She is the textbook case for why the male gaze is not an open-and-shut. For all its appallingly absolute authority on the almost-whole of filmic language, women enjoy it too! One of the great joys of watching films is watching bodies, both male and female. I am hypnotized and, yes, completely turned on by Silvana Mangano in Bitter Rice. The camera may not be that Tex Avery wolf, but I’ll admit that I am. 

Critics felt her body, and Bitter Rice’s eroticism as represented by her, cheapened the film and nullified its political message. Yet a crucial part of its political message is the punishment her and her body endures for betraying the homeland (a tactic that opens up a whole other can of worms). She is eroticized, symbolic, made into a cautionary tale. Her final fugue march is just like Ann Todd’s in The Passionate Friends. Claude Rains gets there in time. Francesca cannot.

(TW: rape)

She is raped. It is a rape that takes away her body. We don’t see much of it after that. In those last thirty minutes she is made up of haunted black pupils, lit like she’s telling a ghost story. She is immediately ostracized by the filmmaking, quarantined off in shots of the mondine in ways you feel more than see. It’s not obvious, but intrinsic and heartbreaking. The most startling example takes place immediately following her assault. It is pouring out (during these scenes a stunning rain shower falls right in front of the camera like a curtain) and the women have banded together, refusing to let the weather set them behind schedule. Silvana walks in a daze, confused and in shock. Ahead, a sick woman who shouldn’t be out in her condition begins having an attack. She howls out, and begins writhing in pain as the women surround her and hold her down. They begin to sing in an attempt to calm her (they are all one). Silvana looks on in horror. This is a mirror image of what she just went through, her trauma reflecting right back at her. She is watching herself. She begins to scream. She is drowned out, not part of the coralita, not part of anything anymore. Her cries go unheard.

The meat locker finale is one last compare-and-contrast session. Both women have guns. Both women have a man beside them. One is shaking and shaken. The other is determined and resolute. Francesca is still trying to save the other end of the tether. There is something so moving and uncommon in Francesca’s committed efforts to protect Silvana despite the harm she causes and rivalry she insists on. It’s hard to put into words how much I love these women, these characters, these performances. Bitter Rice pays such close attention to how women communicate with each other (in both speech and body language, the silent glares and stares may as well be full conversations), and to the breadth of female experience, struggle, and loyalty. We see how hard it is for Francesca to break away from Walter. We see that Silvana’s sense of right and wrong are muddied by what she wants out of life. We see that Silvana’s actions are not unfeeling; there is such pain on her face as she undoes the mondine’s hard work. The list goes on as more layers are pulled back. 

Watching Bitter Rice is that all-too rare sensation of not knowing where a film is headed, or what story it will tell (unless you’ve read this before watching). Francesca and Silvana are often hard to read. By the end, that body swap trajectory is clear, but only at the end. And despite the larger-than-life symbolic statuses they represent, they are two of the most layered and human women I’ve ever seen onscreen. They don’t fit into any neat box — not within neorealism, and not within noir. Francesca and Silvana are with me now, and I’m the better for it.

Top Ten By Year: 1949 #1 – Bitter Rice (Italy / De Santis) Previous Top Ten By Year lists:  1935, 1983, 1965, 1943, 1992, 

[recentanimenews]

Golden Kamuy is the Best Harem Anime in Years!

We’ve talked in the past about what type of genre Golden Kamuy falls into, how it uses historical information to fill in its realistic setting and presenting authentic food culture and recipes, and even how authentic it is at representing judo. Now that the second season has left us with a whole bunch of unanswered questions and plenty of time to think about them. While we wait for news of season three, it’s time to address the elephant in the room: Golden Kamuy isn’t receiving the love it deserves for being the best harem anime in years! It might be easy to miss when you get too caught up in all this talk about Ainu gold and cooking and people shooting at each other, but if you weren’t paying attention, don’t you worry. We’ll tell you all about how Lt. Tsurumi is the harem protagonist to end all harem protagonists, and his gaggle of adoring followers!

Your first question is probably: “Wow, how did I not see it before?” And we forgive you for not realizing how amazing and handsome Lt. Tsurumi is. From his charming demeanor to his dashing looks (complimented by his headplate!), Lt. Tsurumi is a total package. It’s difficult at first to understand the devotion of the 7th Division if you don’t realize that they’re all in love with the man in charge, and Tsurumi dotes on his followers with equal measures of love and discipline. A harem anime protagonist is usually weak-willed and unwilling to admit their joy at being the center of so many cute boys' and girls' attentions, taking ages to make a decision about which of their suitors to settle down with, if they ever make a choice at all! But Lt. Tsurumi surpasses them all with his decisive and strong-willed ability to make choices, making the 7th Division a welcoming and warm home for everyone willing to follow him and achieve his dream of seeing Hokkaido (and eventually Japan) united under his control as a military force to be reckoned with.

When we first meet Lt. Tsurumi, we only see him from the perspective of Sugimoto, a man who is unfamiliar with who Tsurumi really is. He comes across as a cold and calculating killer, a ruthless person willing to do anything and everything to achieve his goal. As the series goes on, we find that Lt. Tsurumi is indeed ruthless, but much of that comes from his love for his followers and his willingness to do what he can to help give them purpose and success in life. As the war that gave them purpose and united all of them is over, Tsurumi feels it is his duty to ensure that all of his men continue to feel useful, needed, and most of all respected by a government that seems all too willing to ignore them now that they're not immediately needed. Tsurumi’s band of soldiers might seem odd or quirky at first, but that’s simply because Tsurumi has allowed them to blossom and show their amazing, unique personalities aside from just being faceless soldiers in uniform! After the death of General Hanazawa, the 7th Division were treated as outcasts and forgotten by the Japanese government, given no recognition or medals for their service; Tsurumi, seeing the unjust nature of such actions, made sure that the 7th Division would rise to greatness, welcoming any who would serve to his side.

But to be the head of a harem anime, you obviously need a harem of eccentric, archetypical characters who are all fighting each other for the affection and attention of the main character. Golden Kamuy is no slouch in this department, as the soldiers of the 7th really fill out all the roles you’d expect! Each member is unique, and even competitive, in their interest in the man at the center of the action. Not only that, but some characters end up in Lt. Tsurumi’s orbit by coincidence, finding him simply irresistible (as you should), joining in on the fun themselves. First on the list is Tsukishima Hajime, who makes his appearance in season 2. Tsukishima is the “straight man” character of Golden Kamuy’s weirdness, to the point that he fulfills that role both in his harem role and outside of it. Tsukishima is the most “normal” of the 7th Division, simply carrying out the orders given to him by Tsurumi and ensuring that others do as well. Tsukishima might be the oddest of the whole bunch, simply because none of the weirdness going on around him seems to phase him; if Tsurumi wants it, Tsukishima will make sure he gets it, even if it involves skinning people, working with a man who makes clothes out of corpses, or simply just dealing with the rest of the 7th’s weirdos!

At the opposite spectrum of Tsukishima is Nikaidou Kouhei. The Kouhei twins started Golden Kamuy as eccentric soldiers, but following the death of his twin and his betrayal of Tsurumi, Nikaidou has spent much of season 2 obsessed with killing Sugimoto, and becoming less and less in touch with reality. A violent and dangerous man with nothing to lose, he’s the most rambunctious of Tsurumi’s followers, as he barely seems interested in anything but killing Sugimoto at all costs, and acts more like a crazed hunting dog than he does a human being. In some regards, he may not even care much about Tsurumi at all, but Tsurumi seems to be the only person who can (somewhat) control him, and he even brings him gifts, like his fancy new leg! Although Nikaidou’s fate is up in the air at the end of season 2, he’s certainly the “wild one” when it comes to the harem for sure.

Somewhere in the middle of the pack is Koito Otonoshin from Satsuma. Koito is the easily-flustered type, as any time he’s in Tsurumi’s presence, he finds himself unable to stop speaking in Satsuma dialect, and at such a speed that it's hard for anyone except the ever-tolerant Tsukishima to keep up with. Koito also finds himself regularly indisposed at the idea of failing his beloved Tsurumi, fainting in odd and uncomfortable-looking poses at the mere thought of disappointing him. No matter how many times Tsurumi tells Koito that he can’t understand him, the hyperactive man simply speaks faster! Koito is certainly the overly-proper and easily-flustered harem member, the one who can barely exist in the same room as their target of affection, and easily wilting at any direct contact or even attention from them, and the dismay felt at possibly disappointing their beau driving them to extreme measures; after all, not many people would leap onto a propeller plane and swordfight to the death on its frame simply because they didn’t want to disappoint someone!

Koito isn’t the only one that’s hopelessly devoted with Tsurumi, though, because season 2 latecomer Usami really takes the cake for being almost obsessed with pleasing Tsurumi, nearly costing him his life in the process! Although not much is known about Usami (not even his full name!), he nearly dies horrifically in Abashiri prison to simply remark that he’s upset because Tsurumi will be mad at him. Usami even takes his punishment in pride, as Tsurumi initially draws two running man figures onto Usami’s distinctive birthmarks… which, as the Golden Kamuy extra Douga episodes show, became permanent tattoos at Usami’s request! Usami seems the type of harem character who would do anything for their beloved, even sacrificing their own life, and the unusual-looking man certainly makes an impression in his few appearances. Quite a few of the other 7th Division members that meet unfortunate ends or appear singularly seem to share similar zeal for Tsurumi’s attention and approval, but Usami really takes the cake in some regards.

Of course, not every person in a harem has to be seemingly lost in love; in fact, some members might even look for some distance, either because they become disillusioned, or simply because they realize they need to better themselves before they can worry about pursuing love. Ogata Hyakunosuke is certainly the former, revealing himself to be a snake, simply going with whatever will get him the result he desires personally, and abandoning Tsurumi when he’s no longer convenient. Ogata is pretty selfish, so it isn’t surprising that he’d fall out of the harem, but even he found himself once attracted to Tsurumi’s sphere of influence for his help in taking care of Ogata’s “family business,” let’s say! On the other end of the spectrum, Tanigaki Genjirou found himself engaging in a journey of self-discovery away from the 7th, trying to right the wrongs of his past and the ghosts of his Matagi upbringing through his interactions with Huci and the Ainu. Tsurumi welcomes Tanigaki back happily at the end of season 2, unlike Ogata, meaning that Tsurumi seems to be quite willing to accept that sometimes, you just have to let things go before you know what they mean to you!

Not every member of the harem is a 7th Division member... or totally sane. Rounding out the cast, and taking the yandere spot quite easily, is the misunderstood fashionista Edogai Yasaku. Although his fake skins will live on with Tsurumi, the poor taxidermist met his end while trying to bring his beloved Tsurumi his hard work. Edogai devotes himself entirely to Tsurumi, even going so far as to create a replica of him to help ease the pain of being separated! Edogai certainly was an odd character, but it’s easy to see his love for Tsurumi drove him to come out of his own shell and find some purpose in helping Tsurumi on his quest. Of all of the members in his harem, Tsurumi seemed most interested in Edogai’s unique personality and skills, perhaps seeing something of a kindred spirit in him, bonding over their use of tanning techniques; many of the other members of the harem, save perhaps Tsukishima, would certainly have been jealous of the close bonds that Edogai and Tsurumi seemed to share!

    And there you have it: Tsurumi and his harem, proving that not only is Tsurumi a great harem protagonist, but that he has the harem roster depth to go toe-to-toe with most other harem show staples! Although we’ll have to wait to see how the Tsurumi harem will grow or change in the third season (Sugimoto and Tsurumi are now brain damage buddies after all!), suffice to say it’s an easy call about who the greatest harem anime protagonist of 2018 is: Lt. Tsurumi, we love you!

What’s your favorite thing about Lt. Tsurumi? Have a particular Tsurumi harem member you like the most? Let us know in the comments!

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Nicole is a features and a social video script writer for Crunchyroll. Known for punching dudes in Yakuza games on her Twitch channel while professing her love for Majima. She also has a blog, Figuratively Speaking. Follow her on Twitter: @ellyberries

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[howtofightwrite]

Q&A: Secure Phones

If there was a secret organization, could they use regular cell phones to conduct business or would burner/pre-paid phones be the best option for staying under the radar when crime is involved? Do you know any about burner phones?

As with everything else, it’ll depend heavily on the nature of your organization. If your secret organization is just street level criminals or terrorists, then you’re probably looking at burner phones. If your secret society is a secret masters of the world, Illuminati style conspiracy, then they’d probably be using off the shelf secure phones, possibly with non-standard OSs and (maybe) firmware. There’s also a middle ground here, where you might be looking at some kind of NGO which could still use standard phones, with legal protections in place to somewhat mitigate the risks in using them.

A “burner” is a disposable cell phone. Technically, the term refers to the cell phone’s identity on the network, when you’re replacing the phone’s SIM card, you could easily end up with a top of the line smartphone that still functions as a burner, though that is a bad idea, because if the OS install is compromised, that doesn’t change when you swap out the SIM.

In this case, SIM stands for Subscriber Identification Module. It’s a small smartcard that, when slotted into a phone, gives that handset it’s unique network identity. It’s how the network can identify a phone when it’s trying to connect a call. When the SIM card has been replaced, the phone is effectively a new unit to the cell network.

Not that it matters for this question, but if you have two phones with identical SIM data, the network will connect with whichever handset queried the network most recently. In the real world, this is mostly useless info, but if you were dealing with time travel, dimensional copies, or some other kind of weirdness, then the cell phone connectivity might get a bit strange.

Additionally, first responders, such as fire, police, and EMTs often have SIM data that’s flagged for priority access in the event of mass cellphone congestion. Again, not a common occurrence, outside of the immediate aftermath of a terrorist attack or major natural disaster, but a cop’s phone should work, when the network is otherwise overloaded.

So, if your secret organization is just a group of criminals, then all of this might not matter. Criminals are not a particularly bright group on the whole. It’s possible they could have a tech guy who understands how the phone network functions, but it’s also entirely possible they’d simply shuffle their SIM cards around on a regular basis (which has happened), on the idea that it would sufficiently conceal who they are. Also, most people without an intelligence or technical background are unlikely to know the full capabilities of surveillance and forensics.

If you’ve got a group that consults with law enforcement, but also engages in more direct behavior. For example, something Millennium, then it’s possible you might see ex-law enforcement, who know when to use burners, and how to work around police investigations when necessary.

At the far end of the spectrum, you’ve got a secret conspiracy that secretly runs the world, (or their little corner of it.) In a case like this, it’s possible that individual members may enjoy total immunity from prosecution for their actions, making any surveillance by mundane law enforcement meaningless. They may also have access to proprietary software and hardware that, while capable of interacting with the network, would be effectively immune to the methods I explained last week.

Loading malware onto a phone relies on knowing the operating system’s architecture. If someone were to hand code a new OS off of a new Unix fork, that would share enough with conventional phones to work with the network, while still having the potential of security. If you can’t run code on the phone, you can’t compromise it. Needless to say, this would be a serious undertaking, probably requiring a team of coders, so it’s not something that would be open to any small cabal.

Using Voice-Over-IP systems does allow for the user to make and receive encrypted phone calls. Technically, this can be done on existing systems as well, and you can use apps like Discord or Skype for mobile VOIP, but, depending on your data plan, this can get pretty expensive. Additionally, VOIP has the advantage of creating a phone that can go anywhere in the world, so long as you have internet access. (It also allows you to make and receive calls from your laptop or tablet, so there’s that as well.)

Additionally, some existing VOIP systems do offer end to end encryption. Usually, you’re talking about data plans that would be contracted to entire corporations. This would be somewhat expensive, but, it is possible with existing technology, and certainly within the budget of a major corporation or a massive cabal.

Secure smartphones are an existing market, aimed primarily at business and governmental agencies. These are not cheap, and the actual quality varies. However, they’re real, and available on the commercial market, if you’re prepared to pay for better equipment, the option is out there.

The weird thing about burners is, they have a home among professional criminals and spies, but as you wander out of those circles, the concept becomes much rarer. It never occurs to most people that their phones upload their geolocation data to the cell network on a regular basis, or that this info is stored. Hell, it’s not unheard of for amateur criminals who learn about burners to never ditch them, or only replace them when their plan is depleted, creating an even cleaner evidence trail.

That said, yes, proper use of a burner, will make someone much larger to track, via cell network data. Assuming they remembered to leave their main phone at home, and didn’t do something stupid like call a non-burner with that phone.

If your characters are trying to coordinate in the field, then some kind of secure communications system is necessary, but that doesn’t need to be phones (at least, not directly). As I mentioned earlier, VOIP services, particularly ones with end to end encryption, and chat room structures, would probably be more useful in the field. Though, there are other communication solutions, including short range radio handsets.

-Starke

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Q&A: Secure Phones was originally published on How to Fight Write.