#also trying to reread the iliad

[bear-cubs-art-things]

Odyssey fandom I'm still here sjsjsjdjdjdj

[brb-on-a-quest]

Growing up hearing parts of stories like The Iliad as a child, I idolized the Achaean Greeks because they were so cool and like the horse thing was *an absolutely brilliant battle tactic.* Actually reading The Iliad is like "Oh gods, why are the Achaean Greeks committing so many war crimes?????? Why are the Trojans the only people who actually have honor and decency??" and immediately siding with Troy because the majority of them Do Not Deserve This and have been majorly unfortunate.

[victorie552]

Ok, so Noldolantë, "The Fall of the Noldor" is a lament composed by Maglor about what happened before, during and after First Kinslaying at Alqualondë. It's such a good song that it's played regularly in Aman and Valar listen to it often (I swear, I swear it was in the Silmarillion I just can't find it now).

It's also a more or less common fanon that Maglor continues writing Noldolante through the whole First Age. Makes sense - it's about fall of the Noldor, and Noldor did a lot of falling back then.

Headcannon time: So my first thought was that Noldolante must a long, long, long epic of a song. So it probably has many parts, right? Iliad has 24 books/parts, somehow I think Noldolante would be at least just as long, and there are longer epics. And again, just like Iliad, unless you're a scholar, in the daily life you don't really listen to/read the whole thing, just reread and repeat the most dramatic fragments. What I'm trying to impress upon you all is that the story would have different segments, or chapters, if you will.

And if Maglor continues to write the story during the FA, there would absolutely be a moment in the lament where the OG Noldolante becomes Noldolante 2, and even Noldolante 3. There may be the same musical motif or something, I decided that Maglor IS that good of a bard to keep it all consistent enough so you know it's all the same story, but the style changes a lot - it's been 400 years in the making, let The Music Elf have fun!

So, Point 1: Many, Many Parts, basically Maglor's FA WIP

My second thought was that, while Feanor invented his alphabet, elves learned their history mostly through oral tradition aka songs and spoken stories. Noldolante is definitely a historical record, where a historical event was archived for future generations.

(It was a also a way to deal with grief, guilt and blame Maglor and all Noldor have faced regarding First Kinslaying - free therapy! But that's not what this post is about)

Archived.

My 2.5 thought was that Noldolante isn't just recallings of how pretty and horrified the beach looked during the murdering or how mad and sorrowful the sea was at everyone during the voyage or even how awesome and charismatic Feanor looked during his speeches that every single Noldo was ready to fight Morgoth barehanded in his name - no, this is a record of who killed who, who got killed by whom, and how.

Noldor and Teleri knew each other (were friends, even!) before the First Kinslaying, so I'm confident that after a lot of interviews, detective work, and cross-referencing, Maglor could and would create a very good... name list. Practically every Noldo and Teler present during First Kinslaying would get a stanza in a song, more if he killed someone, most if he killed many people. Killers and killed would show up twice, first in a fragment listing the killers and their victims, then in a part listing the victims and their murderers. Basically it's the same thing twice, but from different POVs. With when, where and how included.

(It was seen to be in bad taste to compare kills during Maglor's Regency, when most of his interview-part work happened. People did it anyway. There were a Saddest Kill, Funniest Kill, and Weirdest Kill discusions. There was a Tier List. These were weird times to be a Feanorian Noldo.)

(It WAS in Bad Taste, but at least people talked about it. I cannot stress enough how much free therapy this lament provided)

(Little did they know, when Teleri started getting reembodied in Aman, they had very similar discussions, but more in a "I can't believe he killed me like THAT" way. Long, long, long after the First Age. Noldolante is a gift that keeps giving)

So, Maglor had all the historical grith and no common shame to create a "We Killed All These People And We Feel Bad About It" banger of a song, and every Noldo had a very personal reason to at least remember the fragments they are in. It's a hit on a scale never seen before.

(I'm not sure how to tackle the issue of Nolofinweans and Arafinweans learning about Noldolante after crossing the Ice. But there were discussions. There was anger, there was "????", there was controversy. Basically, the song got bigger and bigger rep no matter what your opinion on it was. By the time of Mereth Aderthad it was an important cultural and political piece and at least Fingon's forces were included in the main song. It had parodies.)

Point 2: Archive Function/Kill count storage. Cultural phenomen, every Noldo included

This is where my personal nonsense begins: Main Noldolante was done, there was nothing more to say about First Kinslaying, all killings and deaths were well documented.

But the Siege started. And the Noldor kept dying.

It was less dramatic than it sounded - between the big battles the siege was maintained, but orc raids also happened and sometimes one to few Noldor died in skirmishes. The legal procedure was to document the death of a fellow elf and send a word to king Fingolfin. The cultural procedure, technically started by Feranorians but adapted by many more, was to send the name, common characteristics and cause of death to Maglor's Gap. After few months, King Fingolfin would send reinforcements, short condolences and financial compensation if they had family. After few months, family of an elf would also receive a personal lament for them and a place for them in a Noldolante.

Yes, every lament Maglor created in that time was technically part of the Noldolante. Noldolante 1.5, if you will. Laments make in that time were very customized, and simpler than Noldolante Main, but were still considered a part of the same song. Of course, nobody was expected to know and remember laments for every single Noldo, younger Noldor born in Beleriand could even only know fragments about their family members. Only Maglor would ever know Noldolante in full, but it was understood that everyone had their place in The Song.

The results of Great Battles were harder to document, but Maglor did that. Of course, Dagor Bragollach was hard on him personally, but he worked his way through.

(High King Fingon forbade creating laments for his father. There were no songs for Fingolfin. Apart from in Noldolante, of course. Of course. Maglor did not share the lament with anyone, but he sat long hours and many nights with a blank paper before him, looking at the candle flame and thinking of the past and the future. The song unsung, but there)

Nirnaeth was... Maglor was never more hated and more approached at the same time than then. Still, Noldolante grew and grew, as if people knew the end was near.

It was Second Kinslaying that destroyed the myth of Maglor's song. Feanorians didn't know the Sindar they killed, but surely, they couldn't just left their names unmentioned like they did with orcs? So, Noldor talked, but the battle happened in caves - it wasn't uncommon to find dead bodies in empty rooms, with no witnesses to what happened. Surviving Sindar didn't want to share any names, even when Maglor strong-armed some into talking with him, and good for them. Maglor made a big lament anyway. Maglor, wild, with no shame and dead brothers, with legacy crumbling around him. Noldolante, with holes.

After Third Kinslaying, Noldor didn't want to talk. Lament for Sirion didn't have any names. Clearly, songs weren't a way to go anymore, it was always about live witnesses. And so Maglor raised the twins.

Lament for Maedhros was sung repeatedly. There was no one to hear it.

Point 3: Only Maglor knows Noldolante in full. But that doesn't matter, because everyone knows the important part: the Noldolante is finished. The Star of Hope rises in the West and the story goes on. The Fall has ended.

[sunflowersandsapphires]

A Duplicate of Earth

When Skies Are Gray, Chapter 1 

Series Masterlist           Next Chapter

pairing: Frank Castle x fem!reader 

summary: Frank’s life has reached a crossroads: he can either continue to seclude himself and pursue a dark, lonely future, or he can open himself up to connecting with someone again and maybe achieve happiness. Being the grump that he is, Frank has already committed to the lonely path, but his curious new neighbor might just turn that around. 

Warnings: minors DNI, swearing, implied depression, implied eating disorder (the reader is going to be in recovery in this fic, if it gets graphic I will absolutely warn y’all. This is mostly therapeutic for me lol). 

a/n: This fic was so fun to write!! I love grumpy Frank with all of my heart and I think he deserves to have someone teach him how to feel joy again. So this is my attempt at that. It is loosely based on the poem "A Myth of Devotion" by Louise Gluck at the beginning of the chapter (which is SO Frank!Coded imo, like absolutely fits his fears and self-deprecation) and the myth of Hades/Persephone.

Lastly, a HUGE thank you to @saradika for the beautiful free divider I used in this fic!

w/c: 5.4k (poem not included, this is 17 pages y’all)

When Hades decided he loved this girl he built for her a duplicate of earth, everything the same, down to the meadow, but with a bed added.

Everything the same, including sunlight, because it would be hard on a young girl to go so quickly from bright light to utter darkness

Gradually, he thought, he'd introduce the night, first as the shadows of fluttering leaves. Then moon, then stars. Then no moon, no stars.

Let Persephone get used to it slowly. In the end, he thought, she'd find it comforting. A replica of earth except there was love here.

Doesn't everyone want love? He waited many years, building a world, watching Persephone in the meadow. Persephone, a smeller, a taster. If you have one appetite, he thought, you have them all.

Doesn't everyone want to feel in the night the beloved body, compass, polestar, to hear the quiet breathing that says I am alive, that means also you are alive, because you hear me, you are here with me. And when one turns, the other turns—

That's what he felt, the lord of darkness, looking at the world he had constructed for Persephone. It never crossed his mind that there'd be no more smelling here, certainly no more eating.

Guilt? Terror? The fear of love? These things he couldn't imagine; no lover ever imagines them.

He dreams, he wonders what to call this place. First he thinks: The New Hell. Then: The Garden. In the end, he decides to name it Persephone's Girlhood.

A soft light rising above the level meadow, behind the bed. He takes her in his arms. He wants to say I love you, nothing can hurt you but he thinks this is a lie, so he says in the end you're dead, nothing can hurt you which seems to him a more promising beginning, more true.

Tracing his fingers along the page, Frank reread the stanzas. He was not quite sure what kept drawing him back to this piece. He’d never been a fan of modern poetry, more drawn to the subtlety of the Victorian era. Yet every night this week, when his sweat-soaked body bolted upright with a gasping breath, he read through this piece while his heart rate slowed. 

He has a blurry memory of the story from his childhood. Studying the Greek gods in school, reading excerpts of the Iliad or whatever. He has always been drawn to this specific myth, for whatever reason. Hades and Persephone, darkness and light. But he doesn’t remember it feeling so…corrupt. 

The story he had learned was one of great romance: two unlikely lovers fighting against the odds, reshaping the earth to remain together. But the way Glück illustrates the story illuminated a more sinister interpretation. One night, in an insomnia-induced haze, he’d read page after page about the two gods, trying to find a definitive answer to the question that bounced around his mind. Did Hades ruin poor Persephone? Was their love itself ruinous?

Glück sure seemed to think so. Maybe that was what sparked his interest in the piece. The idea that love could tarnish something so pure—Frank sure had a fair share of experience with that. 

With a hefty sigh, he closed the book, glancing at the clock. 4:05 am. Digging the heels of his hands into his eyes, he weighed his options. 

“Up for a jog, Max?” Frank murmured, looking to the canine who was curled up in his crate. The dog just snored. “Suit yourself, bud.” 

Slipping into a pair of athletic shoes and a light sweatshirt to accompany his sweats, he stepped out the door and towards the stairs, almost colliding with a young woman frantically darting down the hall. 

“So sorry. Have a nice day!” The figure whisper yelled at him as she ran past. 

He takes a second to regain his bearings, before plastering on a scowl and heading off on his run. 

The outing was refreshing to a degree, but his mind was still plagued with thoughts of his wife and the darkness that had consumed her, just as it had Persephone. 

Curtis let his eyes follow the pacing form in front of him as he let out a sigh. Having been a friend of Frank’s for some time now, he wasn’t a stranger to moodiness or the other man’s incredibly fiery temper, yet Frank had been worse than usual lately. It seemed like the drop of a pin could set him off these days, and Curtis could practically see a cartoon storm cloud following him around with the way he’d been glowering lately. Curtis had hoped David would be able to shed some light on the cause of the behavior, but the technician was as clueless as him. 

They (they is a term very loosely used, given that David was overtly opposed to the idea,) decided to ask Frank about it the next time he visited Curtis. So, here they both were, watching Frank stomp across the floor and waiting for him to explain himself. Finally, Frank turned to them. 

“You gonna keep starin’ at me like I’m a goddamn explosive or are ya gonna ask me your fuckin questions so we can move on?” Frank’s growl made David flinch. 

“Hey, easy there, big guy. This isn’t an interrogation.” David pleaded, trying to wipe off the coffee he had inadvertently spilled on himself. 

“We’re here to help you, Frank. Same as always. Something’s been eating you away recently and we wanted to check in.” Curtis reasoned, looking between David and the marine. 

“M’ fine.” Frank grunted, draining the rest of his own coffee and stalking over to the machine for a fresh pour. 

David rolled his eyes, gesturing to Frank pointedly. “Told you he wouldn’t want to talk about it.” 

Apparently this was not the right thing to say, because Frank stilled with the pot of coffee in his hands. “You two are talkin’ ‘bout me now? Am I entertainin’ enough for ya? Jesus.” He slammed his cup down, grabbing his jacket from the seat next to Curtis and heading for the door. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, did you have somewhere else to mope?” Curtis asked with a raised brow, almost amused by how childish Frank was being. 

“Anywhere but here would be nice. That way I’m not interrupting your fuckin’ drama club.” Frank snapped, twisting around to face Curtis. “You wanna make me your pet project? Fine. Keep doing it when I’m not fuckin’ here.” 

“Frank, we weren’t—we were just worried about you, that’s all. You’ve been really…down lately and—“ David struggled to reason with the furious man. 

“Oh, have I? So sorry to be such a goddamn stick in the mud, Lieberman. We all know life has been real nice to me so I should be more grateful, ‘s that it?.” Glaring at the pair of men before him, Frank threw on his jacket and walked out, slamming the door behind him. 

Curtis sighed, sipping his coffee and turning to David. “I should’ve known better than to think he would talk this out. He says he’s fine, we treat him like he’s fine. He’s a grown ass man who can work up the balls to ask us for help if he needs it.” 

David barked a laugh. “We both know he won’t though.”

“Yah…you’re probably right about that.” 

Frank was still fuming as he trudged through the city streets at sunset. His mood had been worse than usual lately, but his friends’ inquiry just made him feel guilty and stupid for not knowing why. Things hadn’t been too bad recently. The past few missions he’d taken on had gone smoothly—to the point where it had been over a month since Curtis had to help stitch him up, and that had to be a record. Not to mention, he’d stopped an international arms dealer last week while on his own job, putting him on Madani’s good side for the first time in his miserable life. 

His fist clenched around Max’s leash, but the dog seemed entirely unbothered by his irritation. Happily trotting next to him, gazing up with adoration every once in a while. 

Frank sighed as they reached the entrance to his building, stopping his brisk pace for a moment to give the dog a scratch. “I’m sorry I’ve been out so much, bub. We’ll do this more, promise.” 

Max simply spun away from him, sniffing the air. Frank gave a weak chuckle, shaking his head at the dog’s ambivalence. The pair started up the stairs towards their floor, Max pulling harder than usual. When they reached the landing, Max froze as Frank headed for his front door. Stumbling backwards briefly, Frank tried to start moving again, but Max held firm—letting the leash grow stiff between them. 

“Max. C’mon, bud. Le’s go.” The pit bull simply gave Frank a piercing look, before abruptly jerking backwards, wriggling his head. 

“Max, what the hell, stop that!” Desperately, Frank tried to grab his dog, but Max was too quick. Within moments, he’d slipped free of his collar and taken off. 

Frank sprinted after him, heart sinking as he realized Max was beelining for an open apartment door. The last thing he needed was a goddamn dog-induced injury suit. 

Reaching the doorway, Frank saw Max sniffing around a young woman happily—the same woman who had almost run into him this morning. To Frank’s disbelief, she laughed. The sound was surprised, but bright and it pulled at his heart in a way he did not have time to unpack. 

“Hey, big guy!” You held your hand out for Max to sniff, which he did enthusiastically. “You lost?” 

Max gave you a few exuberant licks before sticking his nose back to the ground and snuffling around your kitchen, clearly looking for something. 

Eventually, Frank unfroze from his stupor and spoke. “I am so sorry, ma’am. He’s never gotten loose like that before. Max, c’mere.” 

Seemingly through with his rebellious phase, the dog sauntered up to Frank, tail wagging, before turning to allow Frank to reattach his collar. 

Standing in front of Frank, you gave another beautiful laugh, beaming up at Frank from where you were standing before him. “That’s quite alright. I’m never opposed to a new friend. Besides, my kitchen is quite literally filled with dog treats at the moment, so I can’t exactly blame him for his actions. Still smiling, you pulled a tray of dog biscuits from the counter next to you, giggling as Max sat down expectantly. 

“Can he have one? They’re chicken flavored, if that’s an issue.” You looked at Frank, questioningly. Still mortified by his dog’s outburst and quite honestly shocked that this gorgeous woman was still talking to him, he stammered. “Uh—yah, that’s. That’s fine.” 

Your smile widened as you grasped a few treats. “Here, bubba.” Max snatched the treats from your hand, greedily gulping them down before moving closer to you and holding up a paw. 

Laughing again, you set down the tray and crouched to shake his outstretched paw. “Well aren’t you a talented pup. What’s his name?” You turned to Frank, one hand scratching behind the dog’s ears. 

“This is Max…And I’m Frank.” His vocal chords seemingly operating on their own, Frank cursed himself for the honesty. Why on earth did he feel compelled to give this woman his life story? 

“Nice to meet you, Max!” You ruffled the fur on the pit’s head, chuckling as he kissed your arm. “And you as well, Frank. My name is-“ and your name tumbled off your lips. You held out a hand to him. Frank gave a small grimace of a smile, grasping your hand and repeating your name back to you. It was beautiful and more than suited you. 

“It’s very nice to meet you ma’am. I should, uh, we should go.” Frank said lamely, tugged on Max’s leash to exit your apartment. 

Grinning at him still, you waved goodbye. “Have a nice night, Frank. Stop by anytime” 

The next time he saw you, you were struggling to lug massive cardboard boxes into your apartment. It had been a few days since Max made your acquaintance and he’d been avoiding damn near everyone, which had only worsened his bad mood. 

As he took a few steps towards his front door, trying incredibly hard to not stare at your beautiful figure in the low cut sundress you were wearing, a loud crash caught his attention. 

“Shit!” You cursed, jumping back quickly to avoid smashing your foot underneath the box you’d dropped. 

“You, uh, need a hand?” Frank grumbled, shuffling closer to you. 

“Oh, hi Frank! Sorry I was so focused on this thing that I didn’t see you.” There was that beaming smile again. Frank shied away like it would burn him. 

“Ain’t a problem. So…you want help?” He asked again, rubbing at his nape as he blushed. Why on earth would you want his help when he acted like he’d never met another human before? 

“That would be amazing. This bed frame is way heavier than I was prepared for.” You kicked the box lightly, glaring at it. 

Frank shifted it up into his arms with ease. “Where would you like it?” 

“The room to your left please!” You chirped, pointing him in the room’s direction. “Thank you so much for your help.”

Frank set the heavy box down, turning back to you. “Looks like you needed it. You ain’t exactly dressed for lifting this.” Frank scoffed, before realizing in horror what he’d just said. 

“You don’t like my dress?” Your voice was soft and you looked at him with round eyes. He cursed himself for being born. If the world was fair, no one would ever make you look like that. His darkness was all consuming. 

“Oh, shit, I wasn’t thinking. I—“ 

You bit your lip, a sly grin spreading across your face. “I’m teasing you, Frank. I came right from work and didn’t have time to change. It’s a ridiculous outfit for building furniture. Please, sit! I have something for you.” You ushered him over to your couch. 

Frank tilted his head ever so slightly, surprised that you weren’t immediately put off by his harsh demeanor and towering stature. After a moment of thought, he practically collapsed to the cushions, the exhaustion of the past few weeks crashing over him. He was acutely aware that he hadn’t been sleeping well, but he hadn’t realized the ache that had settled in his bones until now.

You retreated to your kitchen, pulling a tin of cookies out of your pantry and offering them to Frank. “As a thank you for your assistance: my world-famous chocolate chip cookies.”

Gently lifting the tin from your hand, Frank felt the corner of his mouth quirk down at the thought of mooching off of you when you’d just met. “It wasn’t any trouble. I don’t want to take your food.” He grumbled, eyeing the tin for a moment before you groaned. 

“You’re killing me here, Frank. Indulge me, please!” Your eyes flickered between the tin and his grumpy face pointedly. He rolled his eyes, pulling a cookie from the box. 

The cookie was truly one of the best things Frank had ever eaten. Soft and buttery with a sprinkle of salt on top. He finished the treat in three bites, licking his fingers before your giggling reminded him that he was being observed. 

“So…are they sufficient payment?” A shit-eating grin appeared across your face and Frank felt his mood lift even further despite his brief embarrassment. 

Popping his thumb out of his mouth, he felt himself flush. “Sorry, I didn’t mean—”

You waved a hand, brushing aside his embarrassment. “Oh please, I’m just glad you liked it! Half the reason I bake for other people is for the compliments.” 

“You deserve them. That was…a damn good cookie.” Frank rubbed a hand over the back of his neck but you seemed completely unphased by his stiff social skills. “What’s in that box?” He nodded to the opened one in front of your couch, snatching another cookie from the tin. 

“Well, I moved in a few weeks ago and didn’t have the foresight to order my furniture in advance. So,” you spread your arms, gesturing to the myriad of tools and wooden pieces on your floor. “Tonight is night one of furnishing my apartment.”

“That seems…like a real chore.” 

“Oh it is. But I’ve been sleeping on a mattress on my floor for three weeks, so I sort of need a bed frame. Like ASAP.” You narrowed your eyes at the box in the other room like it had bested you in a fight. 

“Did ya, um, did ya want some help with…” Frank trailed off, gesturing to your inanimate foe. 

“Oh gosh, I couldn’t ask you to do that. I wouldn’t wish IKEA furniture on my worst enemy.” You laughed, shaking your head. 

“Ain’t a problem, if you’re ok with me snackin’ on those miracle cookies while I work.”

“Ok, one:” You began, holding out a finger. Frank bit a lip to keep from laughing. Bossy little thing, aren’t ya? “You can eat all of those cookies if you help me build that motherfucking thing.” A boisterous laugh burst out of Frank at your pretty mouth cursing so openly. “And two: you will be snacking on them while we work because I would actually be the devil if I made a sweetheart like you build the hellscape that is the ‘Songesand’ all on your own.”

“Trust me, I’m no sweetheart.” 

You grinned at him. “We’ll see about that, sweetheart.” 

Hours and an empty tin of cookies later, you were ready to call it quits. 

“If this bolt doesn’t tighten all the way, I swear to God I am going to lose it.” You pouted dramatically, dropping the pieces you were attaching to the floor with a clatter. 

Frank huffed a tiny laugh. “Lemme see.” Inspecting the piece, he unscrewed the bolt a tad and tightened it with ease. You groaned. 

“I swear it was broken a second ago. Are you a witch or something?” You flopped to the ground with a sigh, looking up at him through thick lashes. 

“Nah. Just good at building things, I s’pose.” 

“Well, I really appreciate your help. Can I cook you dinner? As a thank you?”

“I don’t wanna overstay my welcome…” Busying himself with the furniture in front of him, he avoided your studious gaze. 

“It’s not a big deal. And it would actually encourage me to eat today.” 

Frank whirled to face you. “You haven’t eaten today?” 

You shrugged, “Yah, I tend to get distracted.” 

“That ain’t good for ya.” Frank sighed, trying to decide what the priority should be. “A’right. If it’ll make ya eat, ya can cook for me.” 

You smiled, your eyes catching his with a soft gaze. “That’s so sweet of you.” And, with that, you bustled away to start dinner. 

Throwing himself back into the task at hand, Frank had your bed frame assembled and was pulling your mattress onto it in no time. Brushing his hands together, he returned to the living room, tidying up the scraps of cardboard and styrofoam littering the ground. 

“Frank, please sit down! You’ve just saved me hours of work, I can clean up.” You raised your voice so he could hear you from the kitchen. 

“It’s no trouble.”

“Dinner’s ready anyway. Sit, please!” You encouraged, handing him a bowl of some delicious smelling pasta. 

Eagerly digging in, Frank almost moaned at the first bite. “How are you so good at this?” He asked, stuffing another forkful into his mouth. 

You giggled, “Culinary school, and years of practice.” 

“Culinary school, huh?” 

“Yah…” You laughed a little sadly, moving the pasta around in your bowl. “I’ve always liked cooking and I had this crazy dream of opening a bakery a while ago.” 

Frank swallowed, forcing himself to continue the conversation even though he could feel himself blushing at his inability to talk like a normal fucking person. “You’re really good at it. What happened?” 

Stiffening slightly next to him, you waved off the question. “Oh you know, killer capitalism and all that. But, I work in a cafe which means I get to bake to my heart's content without all the nitty gritty business stuff. Like taxes.” You made a face at the thought and Frank snorted. 

Finishing his dinner, he noticed you studying him again. It had been a while since someone had shown such genuine interest and care towards him. His heart fluttered in a way he hadn’t felt in years, and it struck a nerve. Minuscule grin falling from his face, he stood abruptly. 

“I gotta go.” 

“Oh, ok.” He didn’t dare look at your face and risk seeing it fall. 

Pacing to your doorway, he turned towards you marginally. “Thanks for the food.” 

“Thank you for giving me a platform to sleep on tonight. You’ve saved my hips a world of pain.” Your smile was small but genuine. You seemed almost…hesitant. As he was about to tread down the hallway to his own place, you wrapped him in a sudden embrace. “Have a goodnight, Frank.” 

His heart tugged, insisting that he return the embrace, but he couldn’t risk it. Instead, he squeezed your shoulder and quickly headed home. 

After another night of restless sleep, he woke up in an even fouler mood than before. Yanking the door open on his way to work, he almost stomped over a package sitting on his doorstep. Given that it was just past 5 in the morning, he was a little suspicious of the bag at his feet. Gingerly picking it up, he turned it around and, despite himself, broke into a small smile. 

The brown paper bag had a handwritten note, “Don’t be a stranger, Sweetheart” with your signature and phone number underneath. Stapled to the present itself was a brochure for one “Rainy Day Bakery”, complete with pictures of your smiling face surrounded by other employees. Feeling his shitty mood melt away, just a little, he opened the bag and found a short stack of fresh chocolate chip cookies. He sank back against his door, closing his eyes. 

Screw it.

Twirling around the kitchen, softly singing the lyrics to the song playing overhead, you placed your tray of bread into the oven. 

“God. You’re worse than usual today.” Your coworker, Stacy, groused, hefting a giant sack of flour up onto your prep table. You laughed at her, nudging her shoulder. 

“It’s a great day, Stace! It’s beautiful outside and we’ve had steady business all morning. Plus, Janet is letting me try out some new flavors this week and I am stoked!” You squealed. 

“How did I ever become friends with morning people,” She fake gagged and you smacked her. 

“You love our exuberance, don’t lie.” 

“Yah, yah. Whatever.” She rolled her eyes. 

“Did someone call for a morning person?” Your other primary coworker, Leo, entered the room with a dramatic spin. 

“The only thing worse than one of you, is both of you. I’ll take the counter.” Stacy mumbled, stalking back out to the front of the store. You and Leo giggled after her, knowing she was hiding a smile. 

“So, what’s on the docket for the rest of the day, princess?” Leo positioned themself at the stainless steel bench next to you, looking ready to take on whatever weird ideas you threw their way. 

“I’m thinkin’ more classic cheesecakes, those did well last week. Then maybe lemon meringue bars or key lime minis? Something citrusy. Thoughts?” You tilted your head, awaiting their response. 

“Let’s do the lemon pie shortbread bars. Those are always popular. You want to prep the dough, I’ll start juicing?” 

“You read my mind.” Whipping out the ingredients, the two of you danced around each other in a practiced waltz. You’d been friends since culinary school and had pretty much been a package deal for every employer afterwards. You acted as a well oiled machine, and the cafe was booming because of it. 

As you gently pressed large wads of shortbread into pans, Stacy poked her head back through the staff door, breaking your focus. “Someone’s here for you, princess.” 

Scrunching your brow, you shouted over your shoulder. “I told her I didn’t have time to grab lunch this week.” 

“It’s not your mom. It’s some guy. Says he’s your neighbor?” 

Your hands stilled. “Yah, ok, I’m coming, Stace.” Scooting past Leo—and their eager, teasing grin—you gave them a pointed look. “Stop it.”

“He came to visit you. At work.” Leo singsonged. 

“It might not even be him.”

Leo rolled their eyes back to the pot in front of them. “It’s him.” 

Traipsing after Stacy into the customer portion of the cafe, your face broke out in a massive smile as you saw Frank at the register. His arms were crossed and he looked nervous, eyes shifting around, trying his best to avoid Stacy’s cold gaze. 

“Hey, Frank! Welcome to Rainy Day! What can I get ya?” You placed your hands on your hips and looked at him with excited expectation. 

“Coffee?” You giggled at his simple response which made his blush deepen. “I uh, shit, that sounded stupid. I don’t know…”

“It didn’t sound stupid, sweetheart. I was just thinking about how nice it is to not have to make a super complicated drink. Stace can you get me a large cup of the dark roast. I’m assuming hot and no cream or sugar?” You looked at Frank, waiting to see if your prediction was correct. 

“Fuck, am I that obvious?” He groaned, his face beet red as he avoided your eyes. 

“There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the simple things, Frank.” 

Stacy passed over the drink. “2.50.” She stated with no emotion, feigning disinterest in the conversation. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw her giving Frank a subtle once-over. 

Frank passed over a ten. “Keep the change.” 

“Aw, that’s so sweet! Thank you,” your lopsided grin was a permanent fixture whenever he was present. It was going to be the death of him. He’d do anything to make you keep that smile. 

“I—um, wanted to visit your cafe, since you asked me to, I mean—“

Your smile softened as his nervousness peaked. “I appreciate the visit, Frank. Come by anytime. Oh! Before you go, actually,” You fluttered off, daintily grabbing a pastry from the case to your left. You handed him a beautifully decorated confection, but your signature smile held a tinge of anxiety. You clearly cared about his opinion, he wasn’t really sure why. 

“I, uh, didn’t order this.” Frank announced gruffly, holding the pastry in his hands as if it was trying to bite him. 

Rolling your eyes, you laughed cheerfully, “I know, silly. You think I’m going to let you leave without breakfast?” Hands back on your hips, Frank felt a familiar warmth bloom as an almost imperceptible smirk flickered across his mouth. Bossy. 

“Are you really chastising me for skipping a meal after what you said yesterday?” He quirked an eyebrow. 

“Do as I say, not as I do.” You shrugged, looking between him and the pastry. “Well? Don’t leave me hanging!” 

“Are you always this demanding?” Frank scoffed with a slight twinkle in his eyes. 

“Yes.” Stacy and Leo called in unison, making you gasp in false betrayal. 

“Fine, I’ll eat it myself.” You held out your hand to retract the pastry, but Frank drew it closer to himself. 

“Never said I wouldn’t try it, Sunshine.” Your exaggerated pout nearly disappeared at the nickname. “Pretty sure you’ll pop your lid if I don’t.” 

He took a bite of the pastry, savoring the incredible combination of flavors. “‘S real good, what is it?” 

“Baklava inspired croissant. It’s something new I am trying and you strike me as someone who wouldn’t be satisfied by my whimsical ideas alone. You’re…honest, it’s nice.” 

Taken aback, Frank hesitated before swallowing his mouthful. “I…uh—thanks.” His voice was soft. He wasn’t quite used to receiving compliments about anything other than his ability to end a life. 

“Sorry if I was too pushy, a lot of the people who come in here are more concerned with their hipster image than truth. It’s nice to have someone who gives their actual opinion on my work, is all.” You bit your lip, eyes trained on his. 

“I was just teasin’, Sunshine. You can boss me around whenever you want.” 

You grinned. “I think I’ll take you up on that, Frankie.” You winked, making him chuckle. 

“Oh, you’re a handful, aren’t ya?”

“No turning back, Frank. You’re my friend now. Ask my coworkers, I’m not easy to get rid of.” You batted your eyelashes at him and he shook his head, looking to Stacy and Leo behind you. 

“Trust me, I’ve tried.” Stacy gave a tremendous sigh and Leo shoved her. 

“Well, thanks. For the…coffee and stuff.” Frank ended with, lamely. 

“I’m glad you liked the pastry! If you ever want to be my guinea pig, let me know. I’m pretty sure my friends are tired of me asking.” You chuckled, looking sheepishly at Leo and Stacy who gave dramatic nods. 

“I’d uh…I’d like that.” 

You beamed. “You’re a lifesaver, truly. Just text me if you’re ever up for trying things. You have my number now.”

“I do. I…uh, gotta run but…thanks again” Frank gave a curt nod to the three of you. 

“Have a good day, sweetheart.” You waved him goodbye. 

You were definitely going to be the death of him. 

Your phone buzzed, startling you out of your post-work tv-induced trance. 

Unknown: Hey. This is Frank. In case you need my number or whatever. 

You: Hey Frank! Haven’t talked to you in forever 😉

Frank: Sorry to bother you

You: Don’t be silly. You could never bother me. 

You: Are you hungry?

Frank: I guess? Why?

You: There’s a cute little Persian place that just opened a few blocks from here. I’ve been dying to try it but was too embarrassed to go alone. They allow dogs on the patio, if you and Max are interested?

Frank: Sounds good. Be over in a sec. 

Your heart spun around in your chest. Dashing to your bathroom, you fiddled with your outfit and hair, reapplying makeup and adjusting your floral patterned dress. Catching your own eyes in the mirror, you scolded yourself. Frank wasn’t fully a stranger anymore, but you didn’t know much about him. He didn’t wear a wedding band, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t involved with someone. You were getting ahead of yourself. The knowledge that your efforts might be futile weren’t enough to make you wipe off your fresh coat of lipstick, though. 

A knock at your door broke you out of your thoughts. Rushing to open it, you were spellbound. Frank had cleaned up, probably not for you personally, but your naive little heart couldn’t help but hope. His wavy hair was pushed away from his face and his beard had been trimmed. Wearing his signature dark jacket, he looked…marvelous. 

Prying your jaw from the floor, you smiled at him. “You look really nice, Frank.” 

“So do you, sunshine. Max was napping and refused to get up. Is it alright if it’s just us?”

“More than.” You grinned up at him sweetly. 

“Lead the way, Sunshine.” His deep voice rumbled. You grabbed one of his large hands in both of yours (which definitely did not make him blush) dragging him to the stairs. 

Frank knew he was treading a dangerous line. This was the 4th time in a week he’d seen you, but he couldn’t get enough. Your smile was intoxicating and your bubbly yet demanding personality was goddamn enchanting. For fuck’s sake, his hand that you had held still burned with warmth and he never wanted it to fade. He knew his darkness could ruin you, but he was defenseless to your lilting voice and endless optimism. 

Which is how he found himself across from you in a quaint little spot a few blocks from your building. Strings of colorful lights spanned the perimeter. Apparently you knew one of the chefs because the kitchen had prepared a tasting menu of sorts for the two of you, and Frank was not above reaping the benefits of what you’d sown. 

Dish after amazing dish was placed in front of the two of you and Frank was putting them away, you were eating less but seemed to be enjoying everything just the same. As you both moaned around a bite of a sort of lamb stew, your eyes twinkled. 

“So, Frank, how was your day?” The question was eager and genuine. He was still taken aback by your desire to know him, to care about him. 

“Fine. Yours?” 

“My day was lovely! I made a couple of my favorite recipes and had a handsome visitor at the cafe. Now I’m having a fantastic meal. I’m a lucky gal.” Eyes still sparkling, they scrunched as you smiled. 

“A handsome visitor, huh?”

“Oh you’d like him. He’s all tough and brooding, but I just know there’s a good man underneath all of that.” 

“Ya just know, huh? What’s hiding underneath all that happiness of yours then, sunshine?” 

“An overwhelming sense of curiosity.” You smirked at him. Your flirty tone traveled straight down in his being. Giving a breathy laugh, he deflected. 

“How are you so…peppy all the time?” At his question, your seductive gaze faded to a much more solemn one. 

“I don’t know, I guess it just became a habit… My, uh, my dad died. When I was young. My mom didn’t handle it well. So, it started as a defense mechanism? I suppose? But now…now it’s just who I am.” You averted your eyes, picking at the dish in front of you. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be a downer.” You forced a small laugh. 

“Hey,” Frank’s firm yet gentle tone forced you to look at him once again. “You’re not a downer. Anything ya wanna tell me, I’ll listen, yah?” 

You nodded, smile coming back to the edges of your lips. “Thanks, Frankie.” 

“Can I ask you another question?” When you nodded, he continued. “Do you put, like, crack in those cookies of yours? I swear you gave me an addiction, sunshine.” 

A laugh escaped you and his heart soared. There’s my girl. 

Taglist: @cheshirecat484

[corviiids]

I saw your post about Achilles and Patroclus (the one for the ask game) and it was really interesting, I like the points you made and I enjoyed reading it, but I have a question about Achilles' bloodlust before Patroclus' death: what about what he did to Troilus? This happens before Patroclus' death in most accounts, so Achilles is very brutal with it for someone, who says he prefers to ransom the Trojans rather than kill them.

Yes, Troilus had to die, if the Achaeans wanted to win the war, but his death didn't have to be so brutal. Furthermore, Achilles kills him in a sanctuary (Apollo's temple) with no regard for the consequences, and then throws the kid's head to Hector and a few other of his brothers (there are also even more severe versions about what Achilles did to this kid before and/or after killing him)

And then there's Polyxena, who usually is accompanying Troilus and gets kidnapped (and most likely r*ped) by Achilles after he kills her brother. In some versions she was partially the cause of Achilles' death, setting up his ambush by her brothers in Apollo's temple (which in my opinion seems like her way of avenging Troilus' death).

And then the ghost of Achilles demands her sacrifice (either as revenge to her revenge or because he still wants to have her, or both, 'm not sure), otherwise the Achaeans wouldn't be able to leave Troy.

I'm really curious about your thoughts on what Achilles did to these two.

(The argument about the Iliad characters is never ending and there are tons of different takes and opinions. I'm not trying to pick up an argument, I just want to hear you take on this, maybe what versions of these myths you prefer, why do you think Achilles acted the way he did and how does it fit in his characteristic you wrote previously?)

hellooo yeah so first and foremost obviously due to the nature of mythology it's always going to be kind of impossible to have, like, one unified "version" of a character that brings together every depiction of them throughout history, as you said. i think every storyteller is going to add something to a figure that doesn't necessarily mesh with every other depiction. it's like spiderman. it's for that reason that in that post (i had to go read it again lol i forgot exactly what i said but im pretty sure) i only talked about events that happened in or were referred to in the iliad. i.. clearly.. dont have a very good memory so i could very much be wrong about this but i dont think polyxena is mentioned in the iliad and troilus is only mentioned by name, i don't thiiiiiink the story of his death is relayed? i could be wrong! but yeah all of which is to say if my characterisation of achilles seems inconsistent with other myths, it sometimes might just be because it simply is. i dont try to account for every myth bc i would explode into a shower of snails

that said though i think in this instance we can find a compatibility. my point in that post wasn't that achilles isn't ever bloodthirsty or brutal, only that he shouldn't be defined by his bloodlust. quoting my own post bc again i had to go reread it

it's not that he isn't violent or hasn't killed or that he has reservations about taking lives

it's uncontroversial that he committed a lot of pretty heinous acts and clearly has the capacity for great cruelty and does not really weigh kindness or compassion or charity as a major factor in his decision-making. from my post again

he doesn't fight to kill, he fights to win. that's not hugely different in terms of the outcome, given it is in a war context where defeat and death tend to mean the same thing, but it IS different from a personality and character perspective, because it tells us achilles is at worst indifferent to human life rather than actually being driven by a desire to take it. better? worse? doesn't matter, not my point - just different.

achilles is more than happy to commit atrocities. it doesn't bother him to do so, morally. indifference to human life is sometimes indistinguishable from being outright driven by a desire to kill first and foremost. sometimes it's worse. achilles kind of does what he wants - he enjoys excelling at things - he excels at killing. so, stands to reason he might take a particularly brutal or bloodthirsty action if he feels like it. im putting the rest of this under a cut because it got long again

achilles choosing to ransom lycaon isn't proof that he is a merciful soul. it's just that he isn't at war for the love of making war and ending lives in and of itself. he absolutely does not give a shit about lycaon at all as an individual. if someone doesnt have to die, he might decide to let them go (vs someone who's in this because they love killing and therefore would just kill anyway). or he might kill them. if someone DOES have to die, achilles wouldn't go out of his way to make it a kind end. he might if he feels like it. but he might not. the bottom line is he can be bloodthirsty, but that's not his core driving trait. he's not in this to kill, he's in this to win and to be remembered for it. the killing is incidental (if he wins enough then it doesn't matter if his victims survive or not), so it'll happen or it won't and it doesn't really matter to him. so yeah, a plea for mercy might work on him better than it might work on someone who really actively wants to kill people because maybe he has no particular stake in killing them, which is why ive said he isn't fundamentally driven by bloodlust. but like if achilles thinks it might be fun to kill someone in a brutal way, no voice in his head is gonna be like Whoa there champ! How about not doing that? bc his reasons for not killing aren't ethical concerns, it's just a byproduct of what drives him. this is a fine distinction i know but i think it's important. again im not arguing (and wont ever) that achilles is a good moral figure, it's more just about understanding who he is. the killing isn't his goal hence why hes willing to ransom trojan soldiers moreso than the other greeks but if he DOES kill he's probably also going to do it more brutally than others again because his reasons were never rooted in morality to begin with

basically in terms of how im able to marry my view of achilles not being driven by bloodlust with the fact that he does objectively violent and brutal acts, i think those things are compatible with each other bc he can be bloodthirsty without that being the core driving force of his character and the thing that makeshim what he is. does that make sense? the issue i was railing against specifically w that post was that he tends to be depicted as a guy who just wants to fight kill bite kill blood blood blood and i think he DOES act like that guy but that's not the be all and end all of him. killing is incidental to winning, but he can take it or leave it - what i refer to as the breakdown of achilles' character following patroclus' death is the transition in achilles from "i want to win, and i'll kill to make that happen" to "i want to kill for the sake of killing" it stops being about glory and starts being about destruction and pain

[licncourt]

Have you read TVA and Blood and Gold? I would LOVE your rundown on all the historical inaccuracies in BaG.

Unfortunately yes, I have read those with my eyes :/

(the Marius/Armand pederasty conversation I've been meaning to have for like a year below the cut btw)

I wish I hadn't read B&G so young, I didn't have the breadth of knowledge or the foresight to mark anything for later when I was sixteen. I'd reread it for this exact analysis but really I don't think I have it in me so memory and ctrl + f to confirm will have to suffice.

Honestly, the biggest problem I had with it wasn't inaccuracies so much as the fact that the whole book reads like a Wikipedia entry. It's so clumsy and dry, it feels like AR just wants us to know how many Roman Facts she learned. It overshadows the story rather than adds to it. Fr, read this (if you can stand it).

There was not one reason in the world that she needed to explain the Battle of the Milvian Bridge in that level of detail, and that's coming from me. This sounds like a bad undergrad paper from a student who wants to prove they did the reading.

The whole book feels like this except when it detours into creepy and pedophilic, and I just don't need my vampire book to explain the Council of Nicaea AND the Edict of Milan AND the Parthian Wars AND the Vatican wall frescoes AND the Medici bank and a million other things to me like I'm in a survey lecture. It's mind-numbing for me and this is literally what I DO, so I can only imagine how other people must feel with no context or particular interest in this stuff.

It's not that she's WRONG per say, it's more that she clearly has no understanding of these subjects outside the rote recitation of facts. It's just regurgitated bullet points about Roman history and the Italian Renaissance. She also repeats some well known apocryphal stories in there, but I'm going to be generous and hope she doesn't think these are facts (like the Chi-Rho epiphany).

If anything seems sus and I don't remember it though, feel free to send it to me and I can yay or nay the information to the best of my ability!

*cw here for discussion of CSA*

With that said, I do think AR had a very skewed understanding of the pederastic dynamic or was choosing to ignore it, which is unfortunate considering how attached she was to the idea. A lot of my thesis research coincided with Greco-Roman pederastic tradition, so it's a pet peeve of mine when it's misapplied. It's not an uncommon problem (Call Me By Your Name has this going on too), but authors sending gay relationships with a rapey age gap through a "pederasty" funnel always pisses me off.

The history of pederasty is very long and complicated and ancient (we're talking Homer and Iliad kind of old here), but the bare bones explanation of the process and logic is this:

The ancient Greeks were deeply invested in turning their upper class boys into good citizens. To accomplish this, sometimes an established adult man would woo a younger male (most often starting at 14-19 years old) with gifts and attention over an extended period of time. Once the courtship was complete and the boy's self control had been proven, there were sexual relations between the two for a period of time.

The purpose of this relationship was ultimately to educate the boy, and the physical pleasure was used as a teaching tool to establish rapport and intimacy that could then be escalated to instruction on matters of philosophy and intellect in general. Essentially using the mastery and maturation of one's body as a stepping stone to the mastery and maturation of the mind. Once the boy was appropriately prepared to enter elite male society and/or had become physically developed as a man, the relationship ended.

It's pretty obvious that she's trying to do a whole pederastic erastes/eromenos thing with Marius and Armand, but she took an already very bad and gross practice from history and muddled it up with her own awful ideas about consent from minors and sexual fantasies of a kinky student/teacher savior relationship in her vampire books.

I hate the erotic and romanticized version of pederasty that's become weirdly popular in gay media, and AR was one of the first to really do this. It just picks up the historical thread of CSA under the guise of a kid's "consent" and continues to normalize it to modern readers with a new sexy twist. Using a bastardized version of a fucked up ancient practice to implicitly justify or downplay the severity of statutory rape is simply not the move, especially when gay and bisexual men already face stigma around being predatory and pedophilic. Just don't.

[encrucijada]

you’re right you’re right you’re righttttt. Pia your anti Greek myth retelling posts are soooo big brain mwah. Also I just saw your post on the technical little details Miller fucked up and I’m goin feral please tell me there’s more stuff you can point out. Like not just the blatant character assassinations but also those small factual errors that are easy to miss but if you’re well read up on and familiar with the myths you can catch the mistakes (eg if madeline writes x was the first to die in war, but ancient texts actually state that it was y)

i have not braved the iliad chapters of tsoa in like a year. i'd have to do at least a superficial reread of the poem itself to find any problems i might have missed in miller's book as i haven't reread the iliad in like... three years lmao. but from the iliad chapters a technical issue that fester literally until the end is the absence of the funeral games in honour of patroclus... the achaean army liked patroclus. the final conflict of his shade being stuck could not exist

this was maybe the first major incorrect detail i noticed while reading. i cannot believe miller got this wrong because whom thetis' parents are is right there in her classification within the mythology. thetis is a nereid (aka a sea nymph). her parents are nereus and doris. proteus is the shapeshifting man of the sea who, in the odyssey, tells menelaus his friends are dead while his fleet is stranded in egypt.

^ here are the sources

okay this one is a matter of "depends on the sources" but a lot and i mean a lot of the "gods fucking up the lives of mortals" stories come from ovid's metamorphoses... a roman source. a roman source written during the reign of imperator augustus by a guy who didn't like augustus very much and so naturally he wrote about beings in power fucking up the lives of those beneath them. so really my problem with this line is the use of never, because never say never

that's all that comes to mind rn. i would love to say more but i would have to actually reread some of tsoa for that (or reread my annotations) and i always try to make sure what i say is backed by a source so i don't become part of the problem and i'm feeling a bit lazy lmao. but yeah!

[catilinas]

Ghost Aeneas Real. there is No Return to Troy. but He does. And it's Creusa who speaks Words of Farewell while he remains silent (mirroring the final farewell to Polydorus for ex). Plus Misenus? Ik there's only M's name attached to the Big Mound but...Aeneas burying himself before he goes Down? Troy as Aeneas's tomb? Anyway. Ghost Aeneas Real.

literally aeneas is so dead. my personal top three Ghost Aeneas Real moments are uh

in aeneid 1 when venus makes him invisible and he's wandering around carthage as it is built. being sad about the fall of troy. looking at the temple frieze (In A Grove. This Matters. it's literally laetissima umbra). about the death of his city. and then he overhears ilioneus telling dido that Yeah Aeneas Is Very Likely Dead and becomes visible again and is like surprise! I'm Here. and you the reader are like ok but are you a ghost. (i think it's Very sexy of vergil to compare how sexy venus makes aeneas when he reappears to ivory or Marble / Decorative Stone right after the description of the stone frieze Which Btw Depicts Aeneas.) (i also extremely think silius had this scene in mind when he wrote hamilcar and hannibal doing necromancy in dido's temple in book 1 of the punica. but that's a whole other thing)

in aeneid 3!!! when aeneas goes to the Extremely fucked up and haunted city of buthrotum. the shadowy lesser double of troy built by helenus and andromache i loooooove buthrotum and i feel like bcs a lot of places dont bother to teach aeneid 3 people miss out on how cool it is. anyway aeneas goes to buthrotum theghostoftroy and finds andromache In A Grove, Sacrificing To Hector's Empty Tomb, and her first questions to him are Are You Real and Are You Alive. ghost aeneas real AND think also that aeneas is narrating this to dido who has also just been shocked by the appearance of aeneas in a grove with some form of physical monument to the trojan war in it. legally you must now reread the scene in aeneid 1 as Also oh fuck that's a ghost.

honourable mention goes to the whole of the book 6 katabasis

when turnus is tricked into chasing an imago (image / phantom / ghost) of aeneas in book 10 like Yes this is a trope in epic battle scenes Yes this happens in the iliad (but like. in the bit where aeneas totally for real dies. why does a ghost have a ghost) Yes i still also think Ghost Aeneas Real. esp because once turnus realises he's been tricked he tries to return to battle / kill himself Three Times and Fails Each Time and that is the only use of ter conatus in the aeneid that is Not about trying to embrace the ghost of a loved one. but it Is right after turnus tried to Chase a ghost. (also was just thinking whereeee is the good scholarship on the book 10 imago and i found this very recent article which looks cool as hell. so.)

in conclusion yeah Ghost Aeneas Real

[virgils-muse]

Ranking All The Greco-Roman Retellings I’ve Read! For Fun! Please Don’t Kill Me For Not Putting TSOA At #1!!! With Little To No Explanation.

1.) A Thousand Ships - Natalie Haynes

This is literally one of my fav books ever all time. The fact that we get retellings from so many of the women’s perspectives in one book, and not just the captive women, but the goddesses, AND EVEN THE MUSE TOO? Superb. I’m obsessed. I’ve read it three times over, which says a lot because I’ve only ever chosen to reread one other book. My fav chapters are the Calliope chapters, the Thetis chapter (so upset there was only one), the Cassandra chapters, and the Hekabe chapters!

2.) Stone Blind - Natalie Haynes & Silence Of The Girls - Pat Barker

I’m rereading Silence Of The Girls as I type this actually. It’s couldn’t choose between the two.. they were both so incredible. Similar to A Thousand Ships, Stone Blind takes on MANY different perspectives, including Medusa ofc. My fav was the Unnamed Neried chapter, that and the Panopeia chapters. And Silence Of The Girls.. oh my gods it such a guy wrenching retelling from Briseis’s perspective, and what day to day life must’ve been like on the camp. Also? Actually Accurate Patrochilles, finally.

3.) Wake, Siren - Nina MacLaughlin

First off, Roman Mythos retelling? Already in love. It’s just.. so gut wrenching. Every chapter makes you wanna scream. In the best way possible. I just,, I can’t put it into words how this books made me feel. The Thetis chapter hit me the hardest, obvi. But the Arachne chapter? Oh my gods I wanted to cry.

4.) Circe - Madeleine Miller

It was good. It was actually quite good, very good, even. But where it wasn’t good, it was.. questionable. Can we as a society stop trying to constantly villainize all the deities? Like, and before you say “biased perspective!!! Unreliable narrator!!” Which, yes, I love narrators that have a thing against the deities and emphasize the worst of what they’ve done, but there are certain parts in there where I’m like.. hello? Specifically when Hermes was saying that the Gods want mortals to be miserable bc a miserable mortal will give you more offerings then a happy one,,,, which like???? Hello??? When was that EVER the case ever?? I liked the ending.

5.) The Song Of Achilles - Madeleine Miller

Yeah I have a vendetta against this book. If you wanna read it, go for it, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, read the Iliad first. And maybe Silence of The Girls first too. Were Patroclus and Achilles in love? And probably kissing it sloppy style? Yeah. BUT WE CAN’T ERASE THE FACT THAT THEY WERE SLEEPING WITH WAR CAPTIVE WOMEN. And also, to not only ignore that, but then make it seem like they were treating Briseis well???? When she was literally A WAR CAPTIVE??? Also, I will never, EVER, forgive this book for demonizing Thetis. They made her seem like some homophobic mom as if she didn’t do EVERYTHING FOR HER SON. Idk. I also hate that this book bought on a whole new generation of people who think Patroclus was Achilles gay little twink boy. Like.. are we forgetting they were literally out committing war crimes probably.

Anyways that’s my list rn!!!! I wanna read Jennifer Saint’s books next.

[valeriianz]

About Me Books

Rules: 10 (non-ancient) books for people to get to know you better, or that you just really like. (what classifies as "non-ancient"? lol)

tagged by @mathomhouse-e @academicblorbo and @seiya-starsniper

ahhh i'm not as big into reading as i used to be :') not sure if i can find 10 books to define me... but i'll try my best. here's a list of books that made me sit down for a while and/or yell about online...

Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain. anyone looking to get a little insight to the restaurant industry from the POV of a chef, this is the book for you. it's gritty and real and all narrated by Bourdain's dry, dirty, and dark humor. it's an easy read and for someone like me (who can't really stand kitchen TV shows or movies because that's the life i live) it is actually palatable and i really liked it.

We Play Ourselves by Jen Silverman. i only recently read this book last year and it blew me away. it is everything i want in a character story. it follows a young, bi woman, who's an up and coming play writer in NYC. she had done something so terrible she ran away to California to squat on an old friend's couch. while she's there, she meets with a woman who's shooting a documentary and while the protag gets involved and helps out, she realizes that it's... not a good situation. all the while hints are dropped about what she did in New York and-- its very relatable to me personally: running away from your problems, thinking if you bury it and dont talk about it, it will go away. distracting yourself into something else but it digs up old ghosts and forces you to make an uncomfortable decision... but its ultimately good for your growth and maturity. it's a fantastic read if you like character stories.

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller. read this book February last year and once i was finished, immediately fell into the deep, dark hole that was Greek Mythology (i never was properly taught about the myths. i was assigned the Iliad to read for my English minor, but had just skimmed it like the lazy 20-year old college student i was). and throughout 2022 (up until October when i watched The Sandman) Greek Mythology was my entire personality. and while this book takes A LOT of creative liberties (esp with Patroclus, dear god) i still love it to death. it's gorgeous and so poetically written.

Unwind by Neal Shusterman. we've come into the first (and only) YA novel on the list lol. i haven't reread this in probably a decade, so i'm not sure if it still holds up. but if you like dystopian stories, boy howdy do i got a fucking unique one for you. i found a really good article about it that starts with a perfect summary: "...follows three teens on the run from a government that believes “unwinding,” or body harvesting, is an alternate solution to abortions and unwanted teens... Although controversial in topic, this disturbing novel inspires deep thought about organ donation, abortion, and one’s personal right to make decisions regarding his or her body." it's so captivating that i had started writing a short film screenplay for it in college (that of course i never finished). i read this when it first came out in 2007 and i still own my original copy.

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. oof. so, this is one of those books that one read through was good enough for me, but it left me with such an emotional impact that i just had to own my own copy of it. if you dont know the book, it's a character story about guilt and redemption. it's set in 1970s Afghanistan and then again about 20 years later under Taliban rule. it's extremely hard to read (not just because of the subject matter, but it's also... incredibly dry). it starts off SO strong, falls in the middle (enough that i almost gave up) but then shoots off like a bullet during the last quarter of the novel. it's. phenomenal. heartbreaking and empowering and just such a good and believable story. (also the film adaption was done very well!)

From Here to Eternity by Caitlin Doughty. just gonna start this one off by recommending all of Caitlin's books. this is her second and it covers Caitlin's relentless pursuit of encouraging "death positivity" by traveling the world to discover how other cultures besides our own, care for their dead. Doughty is a mortician (she also has a fantastic Youtube channel where she does mini documentaries and video essays on death and the macabre) and her writing is filled to the brim with respect, tenderness, and endless curiosity. i love her and share her beliefs.

The Martian by Andy Weir. i'm not much into the adventure genre or sci-fi... but this one took me by genuine surprise. the narrator is so dry and funny, despite his horrifying situation of being stranded on Mars. we work through his attempts at staying alive together, painstaking as it is, while also catching glimpses of what NASA is doing back on earth about the situation. it's soooo cool and fun (and the climax is fucking amazing. i knew the film could never pull it off but boy was i still disappointed in how the film handled it lol).

Lord of the Flies by William Golding. read this guy in high school and it's just always stuck with me. something something man's inherent evil. how even the most sophisticated and promising of us can be reduced to our base instincts in dire situations. how it's not always an adventure, there are real stakes and consequences and... it's just so sad and terrible, almost comically so. as a teenage loner who was horrifically bullied all through middle and high school, this book was my fucking staple. i wore out that paperback.

Circe by Madeline Miller. oh it's another M.M. book lol. listen, Miller owns my entire ass at this point (im so excited for her Persephone book omg) i didn't get around to reading this until i'd finished a ton of Greek myths podcasts and reading The Odyssey so i felt a little more prepared going into it. i love Circe in this book, i love that she's not perfect and has literally hundreds and hundreds of years to fuck up and get better, grow into who she wants to be as a witch and as a woman. going through classic stories through her perspective is also a lot of fun, and my man Odysseus is there for a good chunk of it.

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. a book about adventure, self discovery, learning what it means to be free and to govern yourself. being unafraid to be rootless while in search of your Personal Legend. this book reached into my brain and massaged it. if you couldn't tell by now, i'm obsessed with character stories. i am a vagabond in my real life and i can not settle down. this book was written for me lol i enjoyed every word. (it has Islamic/Christian undertones but it's not in your face, which would have been a major turn off otherwise). i listened to the audiobook version of this narrated by one of my favorite actors, Jeremy Irons *chefs kiss*

this took an incredibly long time, but it was a good way to spend my morning, rifling through my bookshelf while sipping coffee haha. and oh god, here we go being unsure who to tag: @tj-dragonblade @scifrey @issylra @hardly-an-escape @teejaystumbles @virgo-dream @watercubebee

[missyourflight]

some stuff i read and watched in october:

midnight mass: october innit, did a doctor sleep rewatch too (director's cut obvs) - hill house probably fucks me up more emotionally but riley's speech about what happens when you die (synapses version) is like the closest anything's come to expressing my feelings about it so. also did fall of the house of usher which was fun enough but i feel like i'd have got more out of it if i knew more poe whoops

bodies: netflix time travel time loop nonsense i got weirdly sucked into, kyle soller forever etc. stephen graham reminded me i need to watch boiling point

troy: i'm still wallowing in the emily wilson iliad, therefore, troy rewatch. god it's so stupid but i am weirdly fond of it. in 2004 i just thought eric bana was so so handsome. every old man in this is killing it and brad pitt and orlando bloom are unspeakably bad lol. still bananas to me that that one quote gets circulated and attributed to homer when in fact it is by one of the game of thrones dudes

a quiet passion: god terence davies is such a loss. there's a scene in this where emily dickinson is talking about loneliness and she's so Angry about it and i cried so much

the heiress: watched partly for terence and partly for marty and partly for william wyler. i Don't understand how zooms work but there's a shot where olivia de havilland turns back to the house and it's like everything looms and narrows. need to watch more montgomery clift pictures

i know where i'm going!: i can't get to any of the powell and pressburger bfi screenings so i rewatched the red shoes and i watched this for the first time. very romantic imo to get stuck on a scottish island and fall in love with someone who is not your fiance and want them so much you try and sail away from them in the middle of a perilous storm because they keep standing so close to you!!

killers of the flower moon: give lily gladstone everything my god. literally i can't rewatch that one scene in certain women bc it's So much she's SO good

the quick and the dead: we used to make Films you know. 107 minutes. bunch of cowboys in a shootout competition and that's the whole plot. sam raimi inventing new types of zooms. mid-90s russell crowe and absolute baby leo. no notes!

all that jazz: bob fosse you absolute nightmare. i had to go and rewatch the on broadway opening rn just thinking about it. five stars

possession: something fucked up to watch on halloween! very strange and harrowing, loved the tentacle monster obvs

emma donoghue, learned by heart: i do have a soft spot for famed west yorkshire lesbian gentleman jack for reasons of like ancestral queerness, did Not know that anne lister went to boarding school in york and lived in the same building i met my tutor every term. i love york and i love lesbians and i liked this a lot, what a good and ultimately wrenching way into the story. time for a slammerkin reread and also when will sarah waters return to us etc

[cosettepontmercys]

hey love! i just wanted to hop in and see how you’re doing 💜

i heard you’re in a bit of a book slump rn, and my sincerest sympathies, those always suck. i don’t really have any advice on how to get out of it, but i really want you to know that you don’t have to feel stressed or guilty over it. you’ve read an insane amount of books this year!!! i’m so immensely amazed and proud of you. idk early this year i hit a major tv slump, so i just paused and didn’t force myself to watch something if it didn’t intrigue me (that actually led to me reading a ton more!) annotations seem like a fun project, so maybe like making yourself a goal to annotate x amount of chapters per day could help? that way it’s more of a hobby and craft than just entertainment? idk just a thought!

i’m kind of in the middle of a slump right now? my reading pace has just slowed exponentially. i’m reading the all souls trilogy (a discovery of witches) and while i really do enjoy the story, something about it just makes me take ages to read it. i know i will reach my reading goal by the end of the year, but it still kind of stresses me out (also i want to finish the new septembers readathon by the end of the month - i know, i know, i’m still doing it. it was basically just a fun way for me to knock off books that are already on my tbr).

something fun that i want to do next year is read and reread a bunch of shakespeare and watch the adaptions (since someone posted a masterlist on here). i would also love to buddy read the odyssey (or was it the iliad?) with you! i’m planning on getting both on thursday when i go to the bookstore. i’ve never buddy read, so you’ll have to be patient with me, plus it’s kind of a daunting book ngl, but i think it would be fun 🥰 another book i would love to annotate would be the starless sea, i think it would be fun to mark down the different literary references and motifs (though honestly i didn’t understand half of the plot. i was just there for vibes)

lindsay!!! hi friend 🤍 i am in a book slump for sure; part of it is just that i have been very very very busy but i also just haven't really been enjoying a lot of things i've been reading so even if i have time i'm like "i don't reallllly want to read now". i had such a spectacularly phenomenal reading year last year so this year has just been like :( in comparison haha! i was doing that with les mis for a bit and then got super busy and stopped doing that! i think my problem is also that i've been trying to annotate fantasy (the night circus — and i'd started starless sea at the beginning of the year, but then got in the largest fantasy slump ever and now i'm just trying to crawl my way out.

how are you enjoying the all souls trilogy? i've never read it! you've got lots of time to reach your goal — and it really is just a silly number! you can also always pack it with poetry, plays, webcomics, graphic novels, etc! and i'm glad — that's what the readathon was intended to do! 🤍

i think this is the masterpost you're talking about! i've been audiobooking some shakespeares this year and have been having a blast with that! and i would be down to do either; i already own the odyssey, but can always obtain a copy of the iliad! i hope you have the best time at the bookstore! and we can definitely take our time with it — we can set goals / checkpoints, discuss, etc. if you want! and yes the starless sea is SO fun to annotate (i just haven't ... been able to read fantasy lately :( )

hope you're having a good monday!! 🤍 🤍 ily!

[wizardysseus]

tagged by @violaeade

LAST SONG: a song called "the great cloud" i'm trying to learn for church choir lol

CURRENTLY READING: what am i not reading, frankly

mammoths at the gates by nghi vo - i will probably finish this audio novella on my commute home tonight, i love this series

collected poetry and prose by wallace stevens and the whole harmonium by paul mariani, which i've had and read parts of since i took an undergrad class on stevens

monstrous affections ed. by kelly link - so far my favorite stories have been "quick hill" by mt anderson and "wings in the morning" by sarah rees brennan

the iliad tr. emily wilson - audio book is read by audra macdonald and excellent

essays on the odyssey - this was found for me by @elwing at a used bookstore, is from the 60s, and is kind of hilarious

a wizard of earthsea by ursula k. le guin, which i also haven't reread since college

CURRENTLY LISTENING: critical role campaign 3... i've gotten into a groove and want to see if i can catch up by listening/half-watching at work

CURRENTLY WATCHING: on my own: critical role. my brother and i are almost done watching phineas and ferb, and since it's finally cold in the midwest i'm making him watch hilda with me as well. with others: killsjoys s1, succession s4, fruits basket s2, the legend of vox machina s2, ouat s1

LATEST OBSESSION: hmm the iliad, but also my ocs and various wips

i'm tagging: @nativehueofresolution @kareenvorbarra @butchdykeorpheus @specialagentartemis @florallychaotic

[remuslupininskirts]

Thank you for the tag @vertijo <3

Curent time: 2:32

Current activity: im rewatching grian’s POV of season 7 of hermitcraft while packing my bag for going away tomorrow.

Currently thinking about: idk really. Trying to find a summer job ig lmao. It has not been going well so far 😭

Currently reading: a couple of things i’m not gonna lie. I have been rereading the iliad as well as a collection of Edgar Allen poe stories/poems.

Currently watching: well im doing the rewatch of season 7 of hermitcraft but as far as tv shows go I’ve got a few. Ive been ill so been watching gossip girl for the first time cause its mindless 😭. Oh and also the new season of Witcher.

Curent favourite character: hmmm hard one. Probably roy kealy and jamie from ted lasso. Cause. They are awesome and i miss them 😭

Current wips: oh shit am i really gonna expose myself like this? Okay well i have my fic which is im not in love with him i promise and my other fics that i have kinda left abandoned 😭. I also have my original writing which is a gay historical piece i’m writing for fun.

Open tags cause idk who to tag lmao

[tenderloincherub]

trying to make a to read list for the holidays, and like, i don't want to fit in too many books but i wanna make good choices so first i'll just write every single book i want to read rn and then i'll work from there.

I also need this list bc I can take three books out of my uni library for the vacations and ugh choices.

So mainly:

> The fourth book of GoT bc I usually read one per vacations - my dad will lend me this one

books from the book club with my friends

> the pillow book (this was my choice and it's in the school library, we actually have two libraries and i can take books from both so I could borroso six books huh)

> farewell my concubine (PDF bc not available at libraries)

> my other two friends haven't chosen so [two more books here]

Then there's stuff from school that I'm dying to lay my hands on to read complete or reread

> Petronius Satyricon (I want to watch the movie and Bajtin and this is adjacent to my thesis topic so) - borrowed from library

> Iliad (wanna re read)

> Eurypides' entire works (my greek lit professor gave me a book of this and it made me tear up and eurypides is my absolute face so)

> anne carson stuff, may re read autobiography of Red, finish Eros the bittersweet and would love to dice into her translations

> Virgil, Horace, Ovid. Maybe just Heroides and the metamorphoses, not sure

> Callimachus and Theochritus BUT this Is More of a should than of a would like to rn so, we'll see

BIBLICAL/CHRISTIAN STUFF. I have entire lists of content I want to dive into here and fits the holidays so this may be what I'm More excited about.

> Caim (Saramago) - library

> Kazantzakis' Last Temptation of Christ (would have to he a pdf so idk)

> Kazantzakis' Cristo de nuevo crucificado (library but in two volumes so :/)

> Evangelio según Jesucristo (Saramago) - a friend promised to lend me this one

> Christus Patiens

> i really wanna dive into apocalyptic and prophetical books in the bible, and i have my bibles at home so :))

> el testamento de maría (pdf)

Besides this, there aré the books I have been buying this year so

> El color prohibido (Mishima) - already reading and loving

> Orlando - was going to read on summer but didn't so I hope I will now

> The beauty of the husband (Carson) - my mom bought me this one for muy bday so yes

> Monique Wittig's Le penseé straight - want to go back to diving into gender studies

> México se escribe con J - I'm more than halfway through this one

there's more books I have on my shelf but this Is what I actually feel like reading rn, so, I'll work on my linguistics exam and come back to organize this a bit more

[paunchsalazar]

1, 12 and 22 for the ask game :)

1. what's your second favorite season and why?

Hmm second favorite is perhaps spring? I think even though I'm out of school now I still think in school years? So it usually means change and nicer than freezing but not yet unbearably hot? (first is Fall...)

12. do you re-read books? which one have you re-read the most?

Yes! Less so since trying to actively read more, or at least I don't reread things without a fair amount of space in between? I think I like to reread something I love (in full or in parts) as a way to kind of get momentum going? Like Percy Jackson... Or maybe a series that I've started but never finished? Or more often with comics!! I think I can reread pages/chapters a lot of times...

I think in childhood I didn't reread much... maybe The Phantom Tollbooth 4 or so times? Percy Jackson and the Olympians might be the one I've read most cover to cover - the first series at least 4x through? I've recently reread Ouran volumes 9-18 like 2x... also! The Song of Achilles 3.5x through I think... it's so readable! easy to reread a scene and get that voice in your head! I think I've read the actual Iliad 3x as well but it's been so long? Sometimes it totally clicks for me, sometimes I get sleepy

22. do you collect anything?

I suppose I do! I have a lot of anime merch... at least lot relative to when I was I did as a kid! Not something one goes out to find but I've kept all my sketchbooks since starting college and school notebooks since at least fifth grade... they just take up a lot of space but I could never get rid of them even if they sit there forever!