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astrobydalia · 2 years

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How you connect with others: 7th house and 8th house

work by astrobydalia

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When talking about the 8th house in regards to relationships, the first thing that we think of is sex, however the 8th house rules sex because it is all about any type of deeper intimacy in any committed connection. Our 7th house tells us how we relate to others and what type of connections we like to establish with others but the 8th house can tell more about what you need in order to nurture and establish a deeper connection with someone. Of course many other things in the chart are very telling of how you connect with others such as Moon or Venus, but in this post I'll focus on the the 8th house which is all about going past that one-on-one interaction (7th house) to really let the other person in, which is why you may or may not be comfortable with your 8th house energy. This house is very telling of the type of energy you need in order to build trust and strong binding and also how you behave with the people you trust

*Please note:

If you're using placidus and you find that you're in situation where for example you're a water ASC but your 8th house is ruled by water and not air just pay attention to the 7th house description of water asc and the 8th description of fire asc and so on. If your 7th and 8th house are ruled by the same sign for example Virgo, these descriptions still apply cause the following sign (Libra) will still occupy some of the 8th house but you could also relate to the earth 8th house description of air risings

Planets and the rest of the chart will give more nuance and layers to these energies

Earth risings really want to get to know someone on a really deep level due to water DSC. They don't necessarily overshare (they very much can), but they are the ones who can get through to others, they're the type to want to make small talk vulnerable or deep right away and you will notice this with how easy it is for them to get through to others. They are very good listeners and can easily make people feel loved and appreciated even through a casual interaction. They do this because they want to know who someone is deep down so when intimacy comes they feel free enough to show their wilder, adventurous or even childish side without being judged since they have fire 8th house. They want to be pampered back and feel a little "selfish" and free and dominate the situation or their partner doing so. I like to think of it as they charm people in (water 7th house) so they can be adored (fire 8th house) but not in a malicious way of course. The type of dynamic they seek with people they trust always involves playfulness, spontaneity and will definitely be out the door if you judge their personality or ego in some way. If they don't trust you they will be able to stir you up emotionally without showing you their real personality which can result in them leading people on a lot. This does not mean they are fake but since they are earth risings, they are used to keeping it together all the time so they want to be able to let loose during intimacy. They are attracted to people who they find a little daring cause they are looking for someone who takes out their feisty side.

Virgo risings (Pisces 7th house, Aries 8th house) -> their way of making deeper connections is actually very child-like due to the dreaminess mixed with impulsiveness. They can get infatuated quite easily and want a partner that keeps them on their toes always longing. They commit passionately and blindly

Capricorn risings (Cancer 7th house, Leo 8th house) -> they want to feel cared for and pampered so admiration is a big factor here for what makes these natives want to connect more deeply. They are very attentive people and want a partner that respects them and always takes them into account

Taurus risings (Scorpio 7th house, Sagittarius 8th house) -> these people want to go all in in their connections in every aspect, no bs kinda vibe, specially when it comes to intimacy they want to be able to just go wild with their partner, explore the good and the ugly and simply have fun doing so

Fire risings prefer people who give them light-hearted and fun conversations which they genuinely find entertaining and interesting and they’re more open to interacting with all sorts of people due to air DSC. They are easily swayed by other's mind or surface-level charm, but they want to get to know the actual deeper personality of others, so these natives are actually more sentimental than what they may actually look in a casual interaction. Once they've been charmed by someone mentally, when it comes to intimacy they want to feel comfortable enough to show their deeper self and to know each other deeper due to water ruling 8th house. They're the type to want a relationship where you can talk about gossip and their trauma just as comfortably, but they won't trust someone they can only have surface level conversations with or someone who is inconsiderate with their emotional expression or disregards their deeper views of things. As fire risings, they are used to coming across as tough and confident but when it comes to intimacy they need to feel like there's always an open door for vulnerability and softness if they need it. If they don't trust you emotionally, they'll just enjoy having a casual mentally stimulating conversation and then move on, so it's easy for them to come across as charming to many people. They want a connection that has a fun and light-hearted dynamic but with a strong emotional bond underneath it all. These natives are the type to fall for charming and intelligent individuals that are 'softies' on the inside

Sagittarius risings (Gemini 7th house, Cancer 8th house) -> with this mix they definitely will get intimate with someone who says just the right things and verbally comforts them. They want a relationship where they can keep things youthful and emotionally soft with not much turmoil

Aries risings (Libra 7th house, Scorpio 8th house) -> these peeps are the epitome of charming, they want to connect with people that they relate to in some way but will accept and embrace their dark side and secrets, their way of making deep connections is by taking the person into their inner cave with them

Leo risings (Aquarius 7th house, Pisces 8th house) -> these natives have a habit of getting in problematic relationships and romanticizing them for it. They fall for unconventional or chaotic people and then have this "they don't understand that I see past that and I love you for your soul" sort of intimacy

Air risings tend to surround themselves with people that provide them with brand new experiences, people who are entertaining, fun and independent due to their fire DSC. They always want to do new things with the people they like and come in contact with and they also like people who are 'their own person'. These natives are often very blunt and outspoken actually and it's not uncommon for them to be seen as rude, bold or nonchalant sometimes, but as much as they enjoy interacting with stimulating and bold people, when it comes to intimacy and a deeper connection they desire stability and reliability due to earth ruling their 8th house. Basically they won't commit to and specially won't trust someone who is fun but lacks consistency and dependability. Deep down they themselves are very reliable, but they reserve that side of themselves for the people they love and trust, therefore they will commit to a partner that will reciprocate this type of energy. They are very fun people to be around and they're usually rather popular, but once they trust you they will show a more serious and respectful side to them. They will want to connect with people who are independent and stimulating but deep down is chill, low-key and reliable underneath it all. When it comes to deep intimacy they will feel like it's safe to trust someone who shows patience and consistency even if it's not too emotional or fiery. Being air risings, they're very mental normally, so they will like to commit and give themselves to someone that grounds them

Libra risings (Aries 7th house, Taurus 8th house) -> they like spontaneity and indulgence. They are drawn to people who they find immediately attractive and catches their eye, but they like to connect deeply with someone by sharing strong sensuality and calmness that goes beyond a first-time thrill

Aquarius risings (Leo 7th house, Virgo 8th house) -> they love to connect with people who have golden retriever vibe to them and is very loyal and helpful. They will connect deeply with someone by lighting up their day with lots of fun and laughter but also by casually being always there if they need anything

Gemini risings (Sagittarius 7th house, Capricorn 8th house) -> these people love connecting with individuals that bring expansion into their life and will connect deeply with others by giving them some authority. If these people trust you, they will secretly take what you say very seriously

Water risings are quite charming, but they're the type to draw people in while keeping a respectful distance with them. They don't mind being approached but they definitely don't like when people get too close too soon cause they like the process of building a connection. They usually come across as a little serious and stiff when interacting with others and it's not rare for them to keep their social circle small or always interact with the exact same people. This is because they take relationships seriously and like consistency and predictability in their connections and interactions, but when intimacy comes they want to trust someone enough to freely detach due to air ruling the 8th house. They won't commit to someone who is reliable but boring and uninteresting. Being water risings, they are constantly very perceptive of the energies around them, so when it comes to intimacy they will feel very good with someone who they can just take it easy and have a more light-hearted energy. Ironically, these are the most distant and detached risings when it comes to connections and intimacy, but this does not mean they don't love deeply. In fact, this "let's just say, do and talk about whatever, it doesn't matter" side is one they reserve for people who they really trust, that's why they can be dry towards other people who they don't find interesting. These natives usually fall for people who they have to "figure out" in some way sort of like "oh you're reliable and consistant (earth dsc) but I can tell (water asc) that there's more to you and I wanna know more (air 8th house)"

Scorpio risings (Taurus 7th house, Gemini 8th house) -> they definitely want physical attraction paired with some mental thrill so it's common for them to fall for players or be players themselves. They will connect deeply with someone who they can share physical and mental chemistry all in one

Pisces risings (Virgo 7th house, Libra 8th house) -> these natives are naturally very helpful and thoughtful, but they know how to keep to themselves and not give too much. That's why when they connect deeply with someone they're the type to want to share every single with the other person

Cancer risings (Capricorn 7th house, Aquarius 8th house) -> with this double Saturn influence, these natives are the most serious and selective about all their connections, they will feel very connected to someone that gives them a traditional commitment while also opening their minds to new and odd things

#astrology #astro #astro observations #astro notes #zodiac #birth chart #gemini #capricorn #virgo #astrology notes #libra #astrology observations #aquarius #astronotes #air rising #fire rising #water rising #earth risings

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enchanted-moura · 1 month

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Pick a Dior Serum - How to find more inner peace?

Pile 1 - Plump Filler

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cy-cyborg · 10 months

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Disability Tropes: The Miracle Cure

The miracle cure is a trope with a pretty negative reputation in disability circles, especially online. It describes a scenario in which, a disabled character, through either magic, advanced technology, divine intervention or some combination of the three, has their disability cured throughout the course of the story. Sometimes this is literally, as in the disability is completely and entirely cured with no strings attached. Other times, it looks like giving an amputee character a prosthetic so advanced that it's basically the same as "the real thing" and that they never take off or have any issue with, or giving the character with a spinal injury an implant that bypasses the physical spine's break, or connects to an exoskeleton that allows them to walk again. Sometimes, it can even look like giving a character some kind of magic item or power that negates the effects of the disability, like what I talked about in my post about "the super-crip" trope. Either way though, the effect is the same: The disability is functionally cured and is no longer an "issue" the author or character has to worry about.

But why would this be a bad thing? In a world with magic or super-advanced tech, if you can cure a character's disability, why wouldn't you?

[ID: a screenshot of Roy mustang from Full metal alchemist Brotherhood, a white man with short black hair in a hospital gown. In the corner of the screen is the hand of another person holding a small red gemstone. /End ID]

Well there's a few reasons. First, lets talk about the purely writing related ones. If you've been around the writing or even media critique communities for a bit, you've likely heard people voicing their frustrations with tropes like "The fake-out death" where a character is either implied to have died, but comes back later, or is explicitly shown to be dead and then resurrected. Often when this happens in media, it leaves the audience feeling cheated and like a character's actions and choices don't really matter if even the worst mistakes and consequences can be undone. In the case of the latter situation, where they die and are brought back, it can make the stakes of the whole story feel a lot lower, since even something like death is shown to be reversible, so the audience doesn't really have to worry about anything bad happening to their favourite character, and once you've used this trope one time, people will constantly wonder why you wouldn't use it every time it comes up.

The same is true for "fixing" a character's disability. It sets a precedent that even things as big and life-changing as disability aren't permanent in this setting. We don't have to worry about anything major happening to the characters, there's no risks associated with their actions if it can all be undone, and it will lower the stakes of the story for your audience. Personally, I also feel like it's often used as a cop-out. Like writers wanted to include a major injury the leads to something big like disability for shock value, but weren't sure how to actually deal with it afterwards, so they just made it go away. Even in cases where the character start the story with a disability and are cured, this can still cause issues with your story's stakes, because again, once we've seen you do it once, we know its possible, so we won't feel the need to worry about anything being permanent.

Ok, so that's the purely writing related reasons, but what if that situation doesn't apply to the story you're writing? What if they're "fixed" right at the end, or the way they're cured is really rare, so it can't be used multiple times?

I'm glad you asked, because no, this is far from the only reason to avoid the trope! In my opinion, the more important reason to avoid it is because of how the a lot of the disabled community feels about the miracle cure trope, and the ideas about disability it can perpetuate if you're not very, very careful.

You might have noticed that throughout this post, I've put words like "cured" and "fixed" in quotes, and that's because not every disabled person wants a cure or feels like their ideal to strive for is able-bodied and neurotypical. For many of us, we have come to see our disabilities as part of us, as part of our identities and our sense of self, the same way I, as a queer person might see my queerness as a part of my identity. This is an especially common view among people who were born with their disability or who had them from a young age, since this is all they've ever really known, or who's disability impacts the way they think, perceive and process the world around them, how they communicate with people or in communities who have a long history of forced conformity and erasure such as the autism and deaf communities. Many disabilities have such massive impacts on our lives that we literally wouldn't be who we are today if they were taken away. So often though, when non-disabled people write disabled characters, they assume we'd all take a "cure" in a heart-beat. They assumed we all desire to be just like them again, and this simply isn't the case. Some people absolutely would, and there's nothing wrong with that, but it's not as universal as media representation makes it out to be.

Another reason it's so heavily disliked is because this trope is often used in conjunction with other ableist and harmful tropes or it's used in ways that perpetuate misinformation about living with a disability and it can have ableist implications, even if that's not what the author necessarily intended.

If the miracle cure is used right at the end of the story for example, as a way to give characters a happy ending it can imply that the only way for a disabled character to be happy in the long run, is for them to be "fixed", especially if they were miserable all the way up until that point. If it's used earlier in the story as a way to get said character back into the action, it can also be read as the author thinking that disabled people can't be of use to the plot, and so the only way to keep them around is to "fix" them.

Of course, there's also the fact that some authors and writers will also play up how bad being disabled is in order to show why a cure is justified, playing into the "sad disabled person" trope in the process, which is pretty much what it says on the tin. Don't get me wrong, this isn't to say that being disabled is all easy-breezy, there are never any hard days and you should never show your character struggling, not at all, the "sad disabled person" trope has it's place (even if I personally am not a fan on it), but when both the "sad disabled person" trope and the miracle cure trope are used together, it's not a great look.

This is especially bad when the very thing that cures the disability, or perhaps the quest the heroes need to go on to get it, is shown to be harmful to others or the disabled person themselves. Portraying living with a disability as something so bad that it justifies hurting others, putting others at risk, loosing yourself or killing yourself in order to achieve this cure perpetuates the already harmful idea that disability is a fate worse than death, and anything is justified to avoid it.

I've also noticed the reasons the authors and writers give for wanting to cure their characters are very frequently based on stereotypes, a lack of research in to the actual limits of a person's disability and a lack of understanding. One story I recall reading years ago made sure to tell you how miserable it's main character, a former cyclist, was because he'd been in a car accident where he'd lost his arm, and now couldn't ride bikes anymore, seemingly unaware of the fact arm amputees can, in fact, ride bikes. There are several whole sports centred around it, and even entire companies dedicated to making prosthetic hands specifically for riding bikes. but no, the only way for this to resolve and for him to be happy was to give him his arm back as a magical Christmas miracle! It would be one thing if the story had acknowledged that he'd tried cycling again but just had difficulties with it, or something was stopping him from being able to do it like not being able to wear the required prosthetic or something, but it really did seem as though the author was entirely unaware it was even possible, which is an issue when it's the whole point of your story existing. This happens a lot more often than you'd think, and it's very clear when an author hasn't even bothered to google search if their character would be able to do something before deciding the only solution is to take the disability away.

There's also the frustration that comes from being part of an underrepresented minority, finally seeing a character like you on screen or in a book, only for that representation to be taken away. Disabled people make up roughly 16% of the population (though many estimate these numbers are actually much higher), but only about 2.8% of American TV shows and 4.1% of Australian TV shows feature explicitly disabled characters. In 2019, around 2.3% of films featured disabled characters in a speaking roll, and while it's slowly getting better as time goes on, progress on that front is very slow, which is why its so frustrating when we do see characters like ourselves and so much of their stories focus on wishing to be, trying to become or actually being "cured".

An finally, there's the fact this is just a really common trope. Even if we ignore the issues it can cause with your story's tone and stakes, the harm it can do to the community when not handled with care, the negative perceptions it can perpetuate and everything else. It's just a plain-old overdone trope. It shows up so often that I, and a lot of disabled people, are just getting tired of seeing it. Despite everything I've said, there are valid reasons for people to not want to be disabled, and just like how I made sure to emphasise that not everyone wants a cure, it's important to recognise that not everyone would refuse it either. So long as it's not done in a way that implies it's universal, in theory, depicting someone who would want and accept a cure is totally fine. The issue is though that this trope is so common and so overdone that it's starting to feel like it's all we ever see, especially in genres like sci-fi and fantasy (and also Christmas movies for some reason).

[ID: A Gif of a white man in a top hat nodding his head with the caption "Merry Christmas" down the bottom. /end ID]

Personally, because it's so common, I find even the few examples of the trope used well frustrating, and I honestly feel that it's at the point where it should be avoided entirely where possible.

Ok but Cy, you mentioned there are ways to use this trope well, what are they?

So, like I said, I'm of the opinion that this trope is better off not being in your work at all, but if, for whatever reason, you can't avoid it, or it's use is really that important to the story you want to tell, there are less harmful ways to implement it.

Don't have your only disabled character take the cure

If you really must cure your disabled character's disability, don't make them the only disabled person in the story. Show us another character who, when offered the same cure, chooses not to take it. This at least helps push back a little against the assumption of "of course everyone would want this" that these kinds of stories often imply and doesn't contribute (as much) to disability erasure in the media.

Don't make it a total cure

In real life, there are cures for some disabilities, but they rarely leave no trace. For example, an amputee's limb can sometimes be reattached if it was severed and they received medical treatment fast enough, but it usually results in at least a little nerve damage and difficulties with muscle strength, blood flow or co-ordination in that limb. Often times, these "cures" will fix one issue, but create another. You might not be an amputee anymore, but you're still disabled, just in a different way. You can reflect this in your fictional cures to avoid it feeling like you just wanted to avoid doing the work to write good disabled representation.

Do something interesting with it

I got a comment on my old tumblr or possibly Tik Tok account ages ago talking about their planned use for the miracle cure trope, where their character accepts the cure at the cost of the things that made her life enjoyable post-disability. Prior to accepting the cure, she had found other ways to be independent to some extent and her community and friends helped her bridge the gaps, but they were all taken from her when she was "cured" forcing her into isolation. Kind of like a "be careful what you wish for" sort of thing. The story was meant to be a critique on how society ignores alternative ways of getting the same result and how conforming to other people's ideas of "normal" isn't always what you need to bring you happiness. This was a genuinely interesting way to use the trope I think, and it's a perfect example of taking this trope and twisting it to make an interesting point. If you must use a trope like this, at least use it to say something other than "disability makes me sad so I don't want to think about it too much". Alternatively, on a less serious note, I'm also not entirely opposed to the miracle cure being used for comedy if it fits the tone. The Orville has some issues with it's use of the Miracle Cure trope, but I'd be lying if I said Isaac amputating Gordan's leg as a prank, knowing it could be reversed in a few hours did get a chuckle out of me.

If your villain's motivation is finding a cure for themselves, don't use it as justification for hurting people

Disabled villains need a post all their own honestly, but when a villain's motivation for doing all the terrible things they do is so they don't have to be disabled anymore, it's especially frustrating. Doubly so if the writer's are implying that they're justified in their actions, or at least that their actions are understandable because "who would want to live like that?" Honestly, as a general rule of thumb, avoid making your villains disabled if you aren't disabled yourself (especially if they're your only disabled character), but if they are disabled, don't use the disability as a justification for them hurting people while finding a cure.

So are there any examples currently out there to look at where the trope is used, if not well, at least tolerably?

Yeah, I'd say so, but they're few and far between. Two examples come to mind for me though.

The Dragon Prince:

[ID: A Gif of Ava the Wolf from the Dragon Prince, a light brown, fluffy wolf who is missing her front right leg. /End ID]

The Dragon Prince on Netflix uses the miracle cure twice, but I still really enjoyed the show (at least I did, up until my Netflix subscription ran out, so I've only seen up to season 4). The first time the trope is used in the series, it's actually a fake-out. Two of the main characters, while looking for someone to help them heal the dragon egg they're carrying, encounter a young girl named Ellis and her pet wolf Ava. The two explain their egg is not looking good and they need to find someone to help it, but no one they've found had the knowledge or ability to do anything to help. Ellis says she knows a healer who can help them, and tells them that this healer even restored Ava's amputated leg when she was a pup. When we actually reach this "miracle healer" however, she is revealed to be simply an illusionist. She explains that Ava is still missing her leg, she simply made it look as though she had restored it because Ellis's parents were planning to throw the puppy out, believing it would not survive with its disability and would only be a drain on supplies. This was not actually true and Ava adapted to her amputation very well, she simply needed more time, and hiding her disability and making her appear abled gave her the time she needed to fully recover and adjust. When they return to the healer with the main characters, she removes the illusion and explains why she did it, emphasising that the real problem was never with Ava, but with how people made assumptions about her.

While I do feel it was drawn out a bit too long, I do appreciate the use of the trope as the set up to an overall positive twist. Disability does come with down-sides, it's part of the deal and it would have been nice to see a bit more of that, but for disabilities like amputation in particular, the worst of our problems often come from a lack of adequate support and people's pre-conceived ideas about us, and it was nice to see this reflected, even if it is a little overly simplified.

The second time this trope comes up in the series is when one of the antagonists, Soren, is injured during a fight with a dragon, becoming paralysed from the neck down. His sister, Claudia is absolutely beside herself, believing it was her fault this even happened in the first place, but Soren actually takes his new disability very, very well, explaining that he understands there are things he can't do now, but that there's a lot of things he can still try, that his previous job as a soldier just didn't allow time for. It's possible this reaction was him being in denial but it came across to me as genuine acceptance. He is adamant that he doesn't want a cure right from the beginning because he knows that a cure would come at a cost that he doesn't want his sister to pay, and that he is content and happy with this new direction his life will be going in. Claudia, however, is not content. It had been shown that she was already using dark magic, but this event is what starts her down the path of using it in earnest, disregarding the harm it will cause to those around her. She ignores Soren's wishes, kills several animals in order to fuel the healing spell that will "fix" him, and Soren is pretty clearly shown to be horrified by her actions. What I like about this use of the miracle cure trope is that it touches on something I've seen happen a lot to disabled people in real-life, but that rarely shows up in media - the fact that just because we accept ourselves, our disabilities and our new limits, doesn't mean our friends and family will, unfortunately. In my own life, my mum and dad were always accepting of my disability when I was younger, but as I got older and my support needs changed, my body took longer to heal and I stopped being able to do a lot of things I could when I was little, they had a very hard time coming to terms with it and accepting it. I'm not alone in this either, a lot of disabled people end up cutting contact with friends and family members who refuse to accept the reality of our situations and insist "if we just try harder maybe we won't be so disabled" or "Maybe you will get better if you just do [xyz]". Unfortunately however, some disable people's wishes are ignored completely, like Soren's were. You see this a lot in autistic children who's parents are so desperate to find a cure that they hurt their kids through toxic and dangerous "treatments" or by putting them through abusive therapies that do more harm than good. Claudia has good intentions, but her complete disregard for Soren's decision still harm them both in the long run, leading to the deterioration of their relationship and causing her to spiral down a very dark path.

Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood

[ID: A Gif of Ed from full metal alchemist, a white boy with blond hair, staring angrily at a jar of milk on the table. His brother Al, a sentiant suit of armour, is in the background looking directly at the camera. The caption, spoken by Ed, says "So we meet again you little bastard" /end ID.]

The show does begin with Ed and Al looking for a way to cure their disabilities (which they gave themselves when trying to resurrect their mother as children went horribly wrong). However, when the boys discover that the object needed to do that - a philosopher's stone, can only by made through absolutely abhorrent and despicable means, and using one, likewise, comes at the cost of potentially hundreds or thousands of people's souls, they immediately stop, and shift their focus on finding the stones that had already been made so it can't fall into the wrong hands, and preventing the creation of new ones. The core theme of the show is that everything has a cost, and sometimes the cost is simply too great.

However, right at the end of the show, several characters are healed in a variety of ways. Ed gives up his ability to do alchemy to get his brother's body back, as well as his arm so he can save his friends in the final battle, but neither of the boys come away from this completely "healed". Al's body has not been used since he was a child, and so it is shown he has experienced severe muscular atrophy that will take a long time and a lot of work to recover from, acknowledging that he has a pretty tough road ahead of him. When we see him in the epilogue, he is still on crutches despite this being several months after getting his body back. Likewise Ed is not fully healed, and is still missing one of his legs even if he got his arm back.

The more... interesting use of the trope, however, is in the form of Colonel Mustang who was blinded in the final season. Mustang is shown to take to his blindness pretty well given the circumstances, finding a variety of ways to continue doing his job and reaching his goals. When other characters offer to let him use the philosopher's stone to heal himself however, he takes it, acknowledging that this is a horrible thing to do and that Ed and Al would be extremely disappointed in him if they ever found out. He uses it both to cure his own disability, and to cure another character who was injured earlier in the show. While I'll admit, I did not like this ending, I can at least appreciate that the show made sure to emphasis that a) Mustang was doing fine without the cure, and b) that this was not morally justified. The show spent a very long time drilling into the viewer how morally reprehensible using the stone was, and it didn't try to make an exception for Mustang - you weren't supposed to like that he did that.

When I talk about these tropes, I do try to give them a fair chance and discuss the ways it can potentially work, but I really do want to reiterate that this particular trope really is best avoided. There are ways to make it work, but they will still leave a bad taste in many of your viewer's or reader's mouths and you have to be exceptionally careful with your wording and framing, not just in the scenes where this trope is used, but in the lead up. If you really must use it, I highly recommend getting a few disability sensitivity readers and/or consultants (yes, even if you are disabled yourself) to help you avoid some of the often overlooked pitfalls.

#writing disability With Cy Cyborg #very long post #I could have sworn I talked about this trope already but I couldn't find the post. Apparently I had a lot more to say anyway lol #long post #disability #Disabled #Disability representation #Physical Disability #disability Tropes #Writing #Writeblr #Authors #Disabled Rep #Writing Advice #writing Tips #Disabled Characters #writing disability

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alittlebitofloveliness · 8 days

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Misogyny in the fandom: let's talk about it

Not gonna lie, the level of interalized or even just blatant misogyny in this fandom is really disheartening sometimes. There is already VERY few female characters in the book, even fewer with speaking roles, and yet I see all of them being hated on in some way. People hate on Cherry for standing up for herself when Dally was harrasing her, and for not seeing Johnny in the hospital, which bullshit to begin with but also, you can't tell me that if the roles were reversed and Cherry sat down behind Dallas and starting talking about how stupid and classless greaser boys are, and Dally threw a coke at her, that the fandom wouldn't love him all the more for it. People hold her to this impossible golden standard, expecting her to literally be perfect instead of a conflicted and grieving teenage girl, when they embrace the flaws and give a lot more grace to much more violent and 'bad' male characters. It's a very 'boys will be boys' and 'girls mature fatser so they should know better' double standard that I really can't stand. Marcia gets a level of the same treatment, with people occasionally calling her vapid or shallow when the book makes it clear she and Two-bit actually really hit it off, and the number she gave him being fake was only Two and Ponyboy's speculation. But I digress. Moving on.

Misogyny and classism intersect when it comes to the few female greaser characters we get a little insight on. So many people LOATHE both Sandy and Sylvia because they're cheaters, but honestly, how is cheating worse than stealing? (And don't pretend they steal because they need to survive Ponyboy makes a point of claiming Two-bit doesn't really need or want half the stuff he shoplifts) How is it worse than jumping little kids? How is it worse than sexually harassing girls? How is it worse than the plethora of immoral or illegal activities the greaser guys partake in? If we're being 100% honest, it isn't. "But-but Sandy cheated on Soda, who really loved her". Yeah, she did. That was shitty of her, I'm not defending that, but she was also a sixteen year old girl in a tough situation she was trying to navigate the best she could. She could have lied and told Soda it was his and trapped him in a marriage raising a kid he definitely couldn't afford if she wanted to- but she didn't. Hell, she told him the truth and he was still ready to do that and she wouldn't let him. I don't think those are the actions of a completely terrible person, I think they're the actions of a scared kid who did some shitty things, but is trying her best and trying to do better. At the VERY least they're the actions of a multifaceted character who deserves the same level of grace and insight afforded to the male characters. (If anyone wants to read more of my thoughts on Sandy and her narrative importance, I have a post here). There's also something to be said about the poor 'greasy' girls facing harsher vitriol than the soc girls, and while part of it is because of Ponyboy's biased narration, it's clear to see that readers very much took his views at face value. Soc girls are 'good girls' and have to be perfect to deserve credit from the fans, but greasy girls are 'trashy' so it's ok for them to be judged and shit on. Spoiler alert: it isn't.

Sylvia is similar to Sandy in that her cheating and 'loose' behaviour earn her a lot of hate, which again, I'm not defending her cheating, but we need to give her the same analysis and benefit of the doubt given to Dally. Dally is NOT a good person. Ponyboy says this and makes it clear plenty of times. He's a hurt character, so we can explien why he is the way he is, but he isn't a GOOD character. he values loyalty, so he never cheated on Sylvia, but it's clear based on how he treats Cherry and casual comments he makes that he doesn't really respect women. I can't imagine Sylvia's experience dating him was one where she felt very adored. Again, not an excuse for cheating, but I can understand WHY she'd try and take back power within a dynamic and a society where she never had any, and I don't want to vilify her for that. She's also a poor woman growing up in the sixties- the book makes it clear life is hard enough for poor guys griowing up at that time, but it was probably equally if not more hard for poor women. I think, like the gang, she does what she had to to survive. If you can understand why the gang does bad things, and still be humans who can be considered good, you can extend the same understanding to Sylvia (and Sandy.) I think people need to also keep in mind that everything we know ABOUT Sylvia (and the rest of the female characters) we know from Ponyboy, a fourteen year old boy who's narration is INCREDIBLY biased and who doesn't have the full details of any of the relationships in the gang. Ponyboy sees Sylvia and Sandy as these terrible, loose women who have hurt people he cares about, so a lot of the fandom does too, but it doesn't change the fact that by doing so you're accepting and embracing Ponyboy's internalized misogyny and making it your own.

Anyway, I don't think I'm articulating this as well as i want to, and i spoke a bit more about this in this reply to one of the posts on the confessions page, but yeah, I just wish people could accept that fact that if they bend over backward to find ways to defend or explain immoral actions from male characters, but refuse to even attempt to do the same for female characters, they've probably internalized a bit of misogyny they should maybe work on.

#the outsiders #cherry valance #marcia the outsiders #sandy the outsiders #sylvia the outsiders #dallas winston #ponyboy curtis

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lovebvni · 2 months

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" ITS BRUTAL OUT HERE " - pick a pile

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│ᵒᵖᵉⁿⁱⁿᵍ ᵐᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ...

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[ 🖊 ] created ⋮ 14.8.22

[ ] published ⋮ 14.8.22

˚₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥ ꒰ ⌨ ✰ Arsyn ⋆ ⁱˢ ᵗʸᵖⁱⁿᵍ··· ꒱ | ೃ࿔₊•

┊ ⋆ welcome to my blog !

┊ °

hey loves, so because i 1, got new tarot decks, and 2 want to call you guys out, im doing this. also - heads up before i even start - spirit said there's gonna be a pile where there are little/no callouts bc they're actually doing great. just some advice/motivation to keep them going

Hello! Welcome to a pick a pile. This is a general reading, everything should be taken with a grain of salt. Hundreds of people may read this, everything I say in your pile(s) may NOT resonate. Today we don't have questions. we're just going callouts. so prepare yourself, i know some of yall are soft.

along with these questions i will give things that may draw you to your pile. the alice in wonderland tarot has different cards but pretty much the same meaning. dont be shocked if instead of the hanged man i say suspention or something like that. i will be using tarot and oracle cards.

now please take everything with a grain of salt!

breathe in, now out, now pick a pile or two.

pile 1 ; pile 2 ; pile 3

hi pile 1!

confirmation for your pile: lowkey funny, life 'falling apart', consequences for your actions, business man/woman, equality, cycles, bakugou, passion, 'im always right, i know what im saying'

oracle: you are good enough - full moon in virgo

tarot: the hierophant, temptation, 7 of flowers, 5 of spears reversed, 9 of flowers

alright bros, the first thing i have to say is 1, you're not always the cause. bad things happen to good people and i know it sucks but it helps you grow. if only good things happened then you'd probably be boring as hell. i hear some of you guys can be because you cant keep a conversation going. the thing is, you may be a victim MOST OF THE TIME but that doesnt mean ALL THE TIME!! you can be wrong in an argument, you can be right in an argument. but it changes. you're a very driven, smart, confident person in most areas but that doesnt mean because you're the right person to be a firefighter but not a baker. 7 of flowers is saying dont back down from the things you KNOW you are right in, but when someone makes a valid point. take it, it can help you. being passionate is a good thing, but dont be ignorant.

temptation is something thats drawing you in, that one day will be negative. maybe its joining the football team but you'll get a serious injury. do not let anyone or anything tempt you that has high risks for pain in the long run. im not saying dont join that football team, but dont put yourself into situations that wont benifit you in the long run. there's a good and bad to everything. do not fall into or back into negative energies/things that didnt help you before. they sure as hell wont help you now

ngl i have no idea what this pile means during the second part

pile 2

alright so confirmation: tired, faking happiness, evolution, "PUT THOSE GRIPPERS AWAY", hawks, manifestation, abuse, Christmas, MHA, movies, memories, nsfw content, love desire, caring heart, makeup, procrastination, seven deadly sins

oracle: a time for healing - balsamic moon, expect powerful chance - new moon eclipse

tarot: 10 of spears, 7 of flowers, 3 of hedgehogs

so this is the pile whos done mostly nothing wrong. when i say mostly, i mean bc everyones made at least one mistake in their life. ofc theres still a callout. STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP! STOP BELITTLING YOUR PAIN, YOUR TRAUMA, THE THINGS THAT HURT YOU MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY EVERY SINGLE DAY!! let go of the past, its gone. its ending. get over it. that friend isnt coming back, they weren't right for you. let go of the past, accept it, and move forward. thats just some advice.

pile 3

hey pile 3

confirmation: false/negative manifestations, intrusive thoughts, self destructive behavior, gay, peaches (that one song omg), yung gravy, emotions, love, communication or lack of communication, birthdays, parties, celebrations

oracle: believe in the impossible - blue moon

tarot: 2 of cups, 4 of flowers, knight of teacups reversed

okay i got flowers in every pile, anyways this piles energy is of a pair.. two people or two piles? maybe you picked another pile. but its a harmonious pair. you guys may be for a long time, maybe shifting together, maybe you work on a lot of projects together? i heard you guys dont talk much but when you do its fun. you guys are a great pair. hold on to each other. i feel like once this pile overcomes toxic/negative behaviors they will shift. it depends on how fast you get rid of them/start manifesting positively.

change the way you see things, the emotions and reactions you have to things that happen. if you wake up in your cr and not your dr say something like "bro what?? why am i in my cr? thats odd, hasnt been like this before." see everything that happens in a different light. if you think that you saw something that was a sign btw, it was. take it and use it how you think its fit. use your talents, you know you can! practice the fun things you want to do one day. practive makes perfect!! get off your ass and do something. vent through an art form. you dont have to use words. you're doing nothing right now. you NEED to do something, but take a break from stressing yourself. its not helping anything

#abyss .speaks #reality shifting #shiftblr #shifting #desired reality #reality shift #shifting community #black shifters #shifting motivation #shifting realities #tarot pick a card #pick a card #pick a photo #pick a card reading #pick a picture #pick a pile reading #pick a pile #pick an image

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olderthannetfic · 2 months

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Hot take incoming.

People who have been traumatized or otherwise harmed by certain people (predators, etc) have every right to be upset about it, and angry, and scared about whether other people will experience the same thing. They also have a right to process their trauma in their own time, because everyone is different. It is also understandable that some people might not have access to a way to process that trauma. Lastly, obviously, people with trauma totally deserve to be included in fandom spaces as much as someone who doesn't have trauma.

However… I feel like there is a line that shouldn't be crossed when engaging in certain discourse in fandom, and outside of fandom. If someone has lots of unresolved, unprocessed trauma, and because of it, they can't be (sufficiently) objective, or look at things in a more unbiased manner, they should not be engaging in discourse about things like censorship too heavily—if at all. They need to postpone that until their mental health is a bit better.

Unresolved trauma can make it really hard to properly acknowledge nuance. For example, if someone's parents grabbed them, beat them, withheld food, opened locked doors on them, et al, yes, they're going to have trauma. But the question remains whether they can view something like a fictional dynamic where, for instance, someone makes amends with their parents who abused them due to mental illness, which has since been treated, with ample objectivity. Or any other, even darker topics, especially ones where toxic relationships and events are written to be erotic). It really feels like many people in fandom don't recognize they might be too biased to read something without viscerally (viscerally!) reacting, and throwing down the "ban it" card. I get the impression it's not really healthy for the individual a lot of times, too.

I've reblogged posts about why it's bad to censor sensitive topics in fandom, and I've posted some of my own commentary, which tends to be very clinical. I've had multiple strangers, at these times, create full-on essays in my inbox where, after mentioning how I seemed like a safe space, they described how they were groomed and abused by someone, and all sorts of stuff that I didn't want to read. While it was very sympathetic, they argued that x things should be censored, and nobody should be allowed to write toxic relationships, because they "knew just how bad that trauma could be," and they implored me to believe them. But even if they do have firsthand experience with that trauma, and they feel so strongly about it, does that really make their argument any more logical?

I'm convinced these people still had unprocessed trauma, so they were acting with their feelings, not their brain. I got this impression from how they completely trauma-dumped on me - I kid you not, it felt like they had to get this stuff out somehow, because they hadn't been given enough opportunity to vent before. One of these people who were in my inbox? They legitimately seemed desperate to get me to accept what they were saying. Now, it could've been a bucket of fake bullshit. But if it was real, I have to wonder how much of the incessant campaigning for censorship is actually a misguided way for people to manage and make sense of trauma, to validate it somehow, and feel like they're getting control over a situation, even if they don't realize that's what they're trying to do.

Not to claim people shouldn't be allowed to speak their minds. But, there's nuance. I feel like a lot of people in fandom need to wrap their heads around the fact that there is a large difference between being informed by trauma, and letting trauma speak for you. And the latter can often lead to bad outcomes.

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genderkoolaid · 1 year

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hey i wanted to get this off my chest and i feel like u r someone who will get it! im an out trans guy and i work with mostly cis queer women, and the other day a trans man (wearing a trans shirt- we chatted :3) shopped in the store and afterwards one of my coworkers (who is my close friend and dating a transmasc person and i trusted her) LITERALLY said she could tell he was a trans guy “because he was too nice and trans guys who are nice are so obviously not actually men” and went on and on. she tried to walk it back a few minutes later with “i mean they’re the real men and cis guys aren’t” i didn’t say anything (i’m a coward) but like fuck. cis women are so comfortable calling us fake men and acting like that’s not a horrific thing to say. like it’s a compliment even. sorry for the rant i just feel so gross and stupid and evil for being a trans guy around women !!!!

need people to understand that "i can clock trans men because they're so nice and docile and polite" is one of those complementary-stereotypes-are-still-harmful things.

for one its kinda giving "women are kinder because they are biologically predisposed to caretaking and motherhood, so they are naturally kind and generous because thats how their brains work :)" misogyny. Obviously a lot of trans men do act differently than cis men because we had to personally confront toxic masculinity and what it means to be a man & likely personally experience (or have in the past) things like misogyny and menstruation. Similarly, a lot of women historically have been motivated to help others because they wanted justice and cared about others lives. But there are also trans men who are huge assholes and women who are deeply selfish and cruel, and a lot of how people are is based on their choices in reaction to the situation they find themselves in by birth, not the situation itself.

Its like. saying "Ashkenazi Jews are biologically smarter than others" sounds like a compliment, and someone might even say it trying to be genuinely nice. But its rooted deeply in antisemitism & notions that Jews are supervillains who could overpower White Christians. There's a difference between "Jewish culture values education and study" and "Jews have higher IQs, because they are essentially a different species, and I totally don't mean this in a Nazi way and if you think that, maybe you're the real antisemite!" Same thing here. If your "compliment" is othering to the people you are complimenting, then you should rethink it.

#m.#ask box #experiences with transandrophobia

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rottenpumpkin13 · 2 months

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It’s time to upgrade the vehicle choice to the company helicopters. AGSZC and the Turks + Rufus, who is the best, the worst, and the one who can fly it but can’t land it.

• Sephiroth is an excellent pilot, probably the most competent you'll find. He learned to fly helicopters when he was very young, has a knack for handling even the toughest situations, and his composure and precise maneuvers make him the go-to pilot in any crisis.

*Sephiroth is flying the helicopter*

Lazard: You're going a little too fast.

Sephiroth: Have you ever considered crashing a helicopter, faking your own death, and then living on a deserted island with stray cats until you can repurpose the helicopter’s parts to build a weapon for exacting revenge on your enemies?

Lazard: NO?

• Genesis boasts that he's the best pilot around and can indeed fly fairly well. But he requires intense focus and hates any distractions. He will snap at anyone who tries to talk to him while he's flying. ....scratch that, it depends on the topic.

*In the helicopter, Angeal sneezes*

Genesis: DON'T TALK TO ME! I WILL FLY US INTO THE FUCKING SUN I SWEAR TO THE GODDESS! THEY WILL BE FINDING VESTIGES OF OUR CORPSES FOR YEARS! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?

Angeal: I think you should scream less.

*Genesis abandons the control*

Genesis: Did you just say loveless? Because I was thinking about the beauty of 'world's end' in act one, and—

Angeal: WE'RE FALLING

• It's a mystery how Angeal passed the pilot test, and even he's baffled why they keep entrusting him with the helicopter. He wishes they'd stop assigning him flying duties.

*Angeal is flying the helicopter*

Angeal: Are you sure I should be flying this thing?

Sephiroth: Of course. You're the responsible one.

*Angeal is flying the helicopter in circles*

Sephiroth: I trust you to land this helicopter responsibly.

*Angeal misses the helipad completely and is now doing zig zags*

Sephiroth: I value your responsibility.

*They are literally upside down*

Sephiroth: Land the helicopter, Angeal.

Angeal: LaNd tHe HeLiCoPtEr AnGeAl—WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M TRYING TO DO?

*And now they're flying into the side of the building*

Sephiroth: Meet the goddess.

• Zack is completely bewildered as to why no one trusts him to fly a helicopter. Sure, he might have driven a car into a ditch once, and maybe he accidentally set a motorcycle on fire, but he's confident in his flying skills! He insists he's super competent and is always ready to prove it—just ask anyone (except Tseng. Tseng hears "Zack Fair" and "helicopter" in the same sentence and has a nervous breakdown).

*In the helicopter*

Zack: Thanks for coming with me. For some reason, the other guys are too scared to fly with me.

Cloud, wearing a helmet, extra padding, and holding a rosary: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WE CRASHED! WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN!

Zack: Are you dead?

Cloud: No, but—

Zack: Success.

• Cloud's piloting skills are on par with Sephiroth's....though no one knew this until the first time he flew a helicopter.....Cloud doesn't have a license....people are confused and scared.

*Cloud is flying the helicopter*

Sephiroth: Strife, your piloting skills are excellent. Where did you learn to fly like this?

Cloud: Oh, I never learned.

Sephiroth: But you're flying the helicopter.

Cloud: Nothing gets past you, does it, sir?

Sephiroth:

• Rufus is adept at flying helicopters, but he rarely flies them because he has pilots and the turks to fly him anywhere he wants. He's also very stubborn.

Tseng: Sir, you might want to slow down a bit.

Rufus: I know what I'm doing, Tseng. I'll have you know that I fly better than most birds.

*Rufus doesn't avoid the incoming flock of birds and nearly crashes the helicopter into the building*

Rufus: ......

Tseng: They heard you.

#ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #sephiroth #final fantasy vii #ffvii crisis core #genesis rhapsodos #ff7 crisis core #zack fair #angeal hewley #cloud strife #tseng #rufus shinra

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han4el · 18 days

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How I see the moon signs, as a cancer rising + leo moon

— Aries Moon

So insane... love it. I just never know what to expect from them. When I think I start to understand them, I discover a new layer to them, a new heatwave incoming, ready to melt any drop of hypocrisy, fakeness or illusions. Personally, I never had close friends with this placement, but I've seen them being very supportive with their close ones. Even if they sometimes say something rude or out of the pocket, it's usually good intended and they only say it if they think it's absolutely necessary (unless you're annoying to them, then they'll just straight up bully you).

Random associations: PE competitions in middle school, angry apologies, crying and laughing at the same time, being mad at someone for being nice to you, being the life of the party for the "the life of the party" people, the best friend of the popular/famous girl, getting giddy with your pet after just yelling at someone, MOOD SWINGS, having a favorite person that shapes your personality more than you think, friendly bullying, loyalty, no bs, no cap, you get what you give, nothing more and nothing less, being remembered by that one friend who checks on you everytime you're struggling, night car rides, uncontrollably laughing in serious situations, red velvet cake, cinnamon, sharp eyeliner, messy hair, making a competition out of anything and getting mad at the fact that you're the only one taking it seriously, always trying to be the best, long-term friendships (like 10 years long), sunstrokes, nosebleeds, blacking out, tremors before fighting, mafia romance, russian models, dry red wine, learning how to fight just to defend yourself, fast life, being in a relationship with someone you low-key hate, fruity and spicy perfumes, enjoying burning paper as a way of releasing stress, feeling relaxed after getting someone else mad instead, forgetting to eat, mixing random pieces but somehow making the outfit work, being the only one who can pull off a piece of clothing or a specific style (usually it looking weird on other people), scratch marks after playing with your pets, having new big dreams every month, red hair, freckles, tanned skin, arm wrestling, boys teasing their crushes, the one who always gets in trouble.

What I love about this placement: the commitment, ambition, devotion, the passion, the energy, the random bursts of emotions. If you need someone to inspire you into doing something, call these guys. They'll make you want to change your life 360° in one night (and most probably actually doing half of those things in one week). They're really good at just getting the sh*t done themselves. Unapologetically authentic and autonomous. The developed ones are actually very good at controlling their feelings and using them for their advantage. Maybe it's just me, but the aries moons I've seen had really pretty skin, usually with freckles. Oh and their noses are usually very pointy or just look that way. Their faces overall just seem very athletic. You might think they do sports even if they don't (they secretly do). Very serious about their purpose. Will never look at you again if you take their dedication for granted. Also, won't waste their time with you if they sense your weak morale, lack of self-awareness or if you don't really wish to change anything in your life. That's an ick for them.

What I dislike about this placement: how fast they forget their old projects and sometimes ex friends (I know it's for their own good, though). Their impulsivity... they will look you in the eyes and say the most gut wrenching threat then forget completely about it 5 minutes later and act all weird if you remind them of it as if it's your fault that you made them "mad enough to behave like that". That loud a** voice in those situations when y'all REALLY have to keep it down 😭 also they're rarely empathetic, so don't run to them when you have a problem (unless you're bffs, then they'll fight whoever hurt you).

My experience with them: 6/10

I might make this a series. Tell me what you think.

#astronote #astrology #astro observations #astro notes #astro community #aries moon #aries #astro #astrology signs #astro blog #astro-observations

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emotionallychargedtowel · 4 months

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prying off the shell

Hayama's friend Mihara makes a really trenchant observation in episode 7 of 25 Ji Akasaka de. First he points out that Shirasaki doesn't seem to have a "shell"--his way of talking about a social self, a persona that a person experiences as separate from their core self. Then he points out that Hayama not only has a "shell," he has multiple layers of shell, so many that it's essentially impenetrable. If you explore what's underneath his social persona, there's just another persona, and another under that, with no end in sight, like a seemingly neverending set of matryoshka dolls. At first Mihara says this to draw a parallel between the two, to claim they're similar. But when he elaborates, Hayama responds by saying it sounds like he's describing them as complete opposites. Mihara accedes to this and sums things up by pointing out that life is bound to be hard for someone in either of those positions.

Actually, both are true. These two ways of being have some significant overlap in their execution, and they also have huge fundamental differences at their cores.

One of the biggest things that Shirasaki and Hayama have in common is the fact that there's little difference between their public personas and their private selves. Shell-less Shirasaki is the same candid, sensitive person whether he's alone with someone he cares about or interacting in public with people he doesn't know very well, because he doesn't have a special persona for public settings. He's just Shirasaki inside and out and makes no bones about it--nor does it ever seem to cross his mind to do so. But he probably couldn't if he did want to.

Hayama's multilayered shell creates a similar effect for the opposite reason. Hayama has a carefully constructed social self. But if you bring him into a private setting, even if he sets aside his most public persona, you're just going to be presented with another carefully constructed persona designed to navigate a particular social situation. This means that public Hayama and private Hayama aren't that different. They may seem different at times, but that's only because he tailors his personas for different settings. He must be very skilled at it after all these years.

This opposite-yet-similar relationship is also present in how they both relate to acting in general, and more specifically to the idea of having a "fake" dating relationship with a costar for the purpose of improving a performance. For Hayama, acting is an opportunity to express emotions in a way that he can't otherwise. It's not just that acting provides a loophole from the system of rules he grew up with, though importantly, it does do that. He says that the way he learned as a young child not to express too much emotion around his mother was to make himself numb. Since he learned this lesson at such a young age, his ability to get in contact with his authentic emotions has atrophied. Acting provides him not only with permission to show emotion to portray in his performance, but also with ready-made words and actions he can use to do so. In other words, Hayama yearns for the freedom to express feelings, but if he had to express his own emotions he probably wouldn’t know how to access them. So it helps that acting comes with a script that can tell him how he's supposed to feel and how he's supposed to express that. When Hayama acts, he places a sort of veneer of a private self over his shell, and this allows him to experience something similar to being his authentic self.

Shirasaki doesn't tell us explicitly what he gets out of acting, the way Hayama does. But I think it must be the opposite of what Hayama gets out of it in a way. For Hayama, acting is a way of getting around his overactive system of control and gaining back some lost immediacy. For Shirasaki, for whom emotional immediacy is as natural as breathing, I think acting must provide a greater sense of control. It must be so taxing for Shirasaki to live in the world without a shell. He's buffeted about by social forces that he lacks resources to navigate and the unpredictable events that ensue hit him harder because of his unguarded authenticity. Acting could be a way of making these experiences predictable. He may not know what's going to happen to his shell-less self in his everyday life, but at work, the script tells him exactly what to expect. It must also be nice for Shirasaki to gain respect and validation for his authenticity after what I can only assume has been a lifetime of being criticized for that aspect of himself.

In a related way, Shirasaki's main challenge as an actor is also very different. He's great at the expressiveness part of acting. If he can feel something, he can portray it in his performance, because authenticity is so natural to him. If anything, he doesn't have a choice--he doesn't know how to stop being authentic. Issues come up, however, when he doesn't have an easily accessible emotion that maps onto how his character feels. He has an amazing delivery system for emotion that brings his feelings to the audience, but a delivery system only works if you have something to deliver. The situation that drives the story in 25 Ji is the fact that Shirasaki has to seek out these raw materials in order to perform.

One of the biggest issues I've had with this series from the beginning is the idea that a supposedly gifted actor like Shirasaki would think that he has to have firsthand experience with something in order to portray it (leading to his trip to the gay bar, his initial encounter with Hayama, and their pretend relationship). But this way of conceptualizing Shirasaki's personality goes a long way toward explaining that. If you don't know how to be fake in your private or your professional life, of course you'll have more of a need for firsthand experiences to draw from. It might also be a factor that Shirasaki is less likely than others to realize, and/or care, that this form of "rehearsal" generally isn't done.

Once Shirasaki and Hayama begin their pseudo-relationship, their distinct ways of relating to the world impact their experiences. For Hayama, there isn't that much difference between this pretend relationship and a supposedly real one. We don't know anything about his dating history, but it seems doubtful that any past relationships would have been appreciably more authentic than this one. After all, Hayama doesn't even know how he really feels half the time. How could he be emotionally present with another person under such circumstances? So their pseudo-relationship feels as authentic to him as any "real" one he's had, and quite possibly more so given the strength of his feelings for Shirasaki. This goes back to my first point--there's little difference between Hayama's public and private selves--and just puts it in a relationship context. Basically, a fake relationship and a real one are similar for him because both are equally fake.

Once again, Shirasaki's public and private selves are also remarkably similar, but in a different way and for different reasons. He welcomed the pseudo-relationship because he needed firsthand experience to fuel his performance, but his lack of a shell and lack of skill at pretending make it so that acting out a relationship and actually being in one are hard for him to distinguish. In other words, a fake relationship and a real one are similar for Shirasaki because both are equally real.

These opposite ways of relating bring the lead characters into somewhat similar positions at times, but for very different reasons. For a while, these opposites were so complimentary that they balanced each other out. That balance created stability. Their pseudo-relationship was easier to navigate then, but if it had continued that way, it would have been hard to topple in favor of something real.

There's one thing that keeps these opposing approaches from truly being mirror-image versions of each other, though: the fact that Hayama's feelings for Shirasaki are causing his authentic self to strain against the confines of his shell. If he could easily keep going the way he always has, and felt no need to change, any real relationship between him and Shirasaki would be pretty much doomed. But even the thickest shell has a center. There's a little nugget of authentic self that Hayama has had shuttered away inside his shell for most of his life. It hasn't seen light in a long time. It hasn't grown much since he was a child, because it hasn't been allowed to. But it has always been very responsive to contact with Shirasaki, even from afar. Now that Hayama has been able to get closer to Shirasaki, that little nugget of selfhood is growing exponentially, and as it grows it gets stronger and more insistent.

Hayama says that being with Shirasaki feels like having his shell "pried off." This is how that happens. It's bound to be scary, maybe even terrifying, to go through that. It's a kind of personal growth that Hayama probably couldn't find the motivation to push through if he didn't want so badly to be close to Shirasaki for real. But he does want that very deeply, enough to take this risk. So the different ways that Hayama and Shirasaki relate to the world, which had been such stable opposites, are on their way to becoming less perfectly balanced and thus more amenable to change.

There's a catalyst on the horizon: the love scene Hayama and Shirasaki are about to film for their drama. Hayama usually relies on a script to tell him what to feel and how to express that emotion in his work. His shell remains in place during that process because there's a difference between the little bit he can still feel of his real emotions and the emotions he portrays. But his role in the drama he's making with Shirasaki has been growing closer and closer to how he really feels. The love scene seems poised to bring him even closer to his own authentic experience. If the role he plays, the emotions he allows himself to show, sync up enough with the emotions of the little nugget of real self he still has, it could be a key to unlocking his shell. If he's able to speak from his authentic experience, he could find a way to tell Shirasaki how he feels. If he's able to show real emotion in the process, Shirasaki will be able to see the difference and understand what it means.

#25 ji akasaka de #at 25:00 in akasaka #25 ji akasaka de meta #hayama x shirasaki #japanese bl

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moonshine-009 · 2 months

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This fandom though smh all the people wanting to stick up and support Ryan while being an anti Eddie this or a pro Eddie that, but hate getting called out for being a hypocrite... I'm tired of seeing them "separate the actor from the character," when they're more than willing to bash every other transphobic, racist, sexist, homophobic, ageist, misogynistic, ableist, fascist, anti vax, etc, remark or topic, but still have positive post about Ryan Guzman. They aren't "protecting their peace." That's not how it works. They're choosing to ignore what he's doing because it'll disrupt their fantasy of the show. Seriously, why are they posting about current anti transphobic topics and then the next post it's "Ryan's dumb mustache 😍🥵🫠" as if he didn't just get exposed AGAIN for having transphobic ties this past week????

They don't want to hear that Ryan is the problem. Everybody, fan or anti, still calls out Lou, and everytime they admit and drill that he is at fault, but Ryan ALWAYS gets a pass, and we should move on because he gave a disingenuous apology all the non bpocs accepted on our behave or it was "so long ago???" Make that make sense... Also, no one wants to bring up anything else he's done either! But even so they're not advocating for anything in the fandom with only "Lou is racist," when they won't even accept that what Ryan did wasn't just as bad, it was worse than what Lou did, they both were wrong but let's be real Ryan has more to make up for than Lou but yet Lou isn't unforgivable???

How can people still say, "It's his upbringing, and he was taught that way" only for Ryan? They really want to compare Ryan and Lou's family situations? Seriously? Which one of them is estranged from their abusive bigot father, and which one is still surrounded by his ignorant friends/family who he proudly stuck up and admitted were all racist like him? (Also, which one of them did people have to fake and edit hate material because there wasn't anything new? 👀)

And they need to stop saying everyone who calls out Ryan is racist. I'm very familiar with all the excuses he made, and just as I've said to my White/Latinx family and friends, all of what was said IS absolutely racist. He doesn't get a pass because of where he lived, and everyone around him said it, and the more they deny it, the worse it is. Everyone who accepted his apology should understand he was willingly stating his ignorance.

These stans though... They're just as phony wanting to play both sides and have no consequences. They can't stand by what they're voicing. Saying "anti *** BUT I don't tolerate any hate towards (actor)" when that actor is still problematic as of today...

Nearly everyone has said/done something awful in the past, but there's only a few that still are choosing to continue that behavior. Many of the 9-1-1/LS cast/crew/company "should've been canceled" for things they've done. Most acknowledged their wrongs, sincerely apologized, stopped and grew up and changed their views and redeemed themselves. That's the difference. Ryan is still the same Ryan. Fans forgave after one forced apology, and now they ignore that he's still actively messed up because what he's attractive or he's a part of their favorite ship or his hate doesn't personally affect them???

*But yes, let's only call out Lou's issues and keep posting about how wonderful Ryan is and talk about wanting to bring back Ronda, Cocoa, Edy, Rockmond, etc. back because they were also soooo unproblematic* 🙃

Yes, call it as we see it, Lou did some messed up shit. But for them to say Lou is worse for 10+ year old post, but stay quite when Ryan continuously talks/posts/likes disgusting views to this very day 😒 That's the thing, Lou's past caught up with him, his PAST. Ryan gets exposed every week because he's still updating his accounts with that stuff.

(and you don't have to post/reply to this if it might get backlash but 👏🏾 big sigh)

me being a white person I don't get to say if I expect Ryan's "apology " or not. Some other white people in the fandom on Twitter really had the audacity to say why people still hating on Ryan and he apparently has changed?!! It's not our place to say !!

And saying he has changed after what he is sharing on Instagram is honestly really laughable.

And they also say Oliver would hate Lou for things he was posting a decade ago this is why he doesn't want to work with him. So they basically saying that he is totally fine working with Ryan ???

When a ship is more important than having morals.

They always protect Oliver and Ryan and don't call them out.

It just makes me so mad seeing Ryan posting all that shit. And people posting him all over Instagram even the cast is hanging out with him.

People are so comfortable being openly transphobic and homophobic, racists these days without any consequences.

They said when the actress who plays Marisol was posting that transphobic shit, why would they want a cast member in a show with LGBTQIA+ storylines. These same people are really quiet right now about Ryan.

So they totally fine with what he shares on Instagram? ???

#911 abc #911 season 7 #bucktommy #anti buddie #oliver stark #lou ferrigno jr #911 #ryan guzman

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