no but for real this is a really sick hot tip for making friends: don't trust anyone ever again unless you meet them through a community solely dedicated to the consumption of the specific kind of weird pornography you look at in private so you never have to worry about having your interest outed to the nice socially conscious liberals who'd probably be out lynching fags if the internet didn't exist
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you finding out that earth 1610! miles is spiderman :)
so you and miles have been dating for a while
and lately he's been missing a lot of your dates
so you thought maybe he'd been doing something secret behind your back
you know he wasnt the kind to cheat
but he was for sure hiding something
because whenever you asked him he made up an excuse
the excuse of the day was "i'm helping my mom"
so you decided to walk to their place
and after speaking to his mom, you find out he was not, and hasnt been helping him
so now you were even more confused, and decided to wait in his room for him to come back and to confront him
and he was taking a long time so you laid on his bed and started scrolling on your phone
when suddenly you heard a thump on the window before it slid open
thinking it was a robber you moved to hide on his bed, grabbing a heavy lamp from his bedside table
and as you saw a shadow moving closer, you held it over your head and were about to throw it at the intruder
when u saw a familiar suit
"spider-man?" you gasped softly as he looked at you
what was he doing here?
you put down the lamp slowly and walked up to him as he stuttered, before forcing a deeper voice to talk to you
"u-um, citizen that i dont know, what are you doing here?"
you explained how you came to visit your boyfriend, and then asked him if he'd seen him, describing how he looks
"coily black hair, about your height, same figure, brown cute eyes..."
"you think my eyes are cute?"
you paused, glancing at him
you were not talking about him
you slowly walked up to him and held the edge of his mask as he started to stutter a bit
you pulled it off gently, and gasped softly
"miles?"
you looked at him in awe, before hitting his arm and starting to rant at him for not telling you and how much danger he was in
"what if you got hurt, stupid? you should have told me!"
he held up his hands in front of him, trying to explain himself before you hugged him gently
"'m glad you're ok."
he hugged you back
"course i am, gotta come back to you after all"
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has anyone articulated how some furry/other fandom teenagers are being convinced they're zoophiles/pedophiles by the callout harassment sludge behavior happening on social media
the result of vigilant (self) surveillance, pathologization of any mildly non-normative behavior, the lack of support networks, and the way people on the internet handle "community" has led to 15 year olds with slightly weird interests going through some kind of friend group meat processor, at the end of which they identify themselves as a 'radqueer pedophile'
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