#also. this was coming off 9 years of homeschooling. i didn't know how the fuck to talk to people

[girlscience]

so so sleepy cause i was up till 2am being a freak

[cptsadist]

Hi hi! Do you mind given some Seiren, Egon and Hauer facts? (lore or hc of how would they be with MC, idk you choose ms/mr creator)

Are Egon and Wraith brothers?

Also your characters of Siren from hell and Rip your heart out have a nickname for MC?

SRRY FOR GIVING YOU TOO MANY QUESTIONS IF YOU CAN'T ANSWER ALL JUST CHOSE THE ONE YOU LIKE °n°

Omg you are totally fine!! No worries at all! I love answering any asks so I'll try my best to answer these the best I can!!

- - -

Okay!! Some lore facts on those three first!

Seiren:

Seiren is an imp, but he is incredibly weak and is sort of trapped in Trance's body (but it is not impossible for him to come out)

Trance is his first person he made a deal with

Seiren is easily flustered and has a thing for stronger demons, but he is genuinely scared of Wraith, Wraith terrifies him

With MC, he would be really nervous at first since he doesn't really have much experience with anything. MC would probably have to get to know him while he was in control of Trance's body, and maybe MC could help him come out of Trance's body so that MC can actually see him. Seiren wouldn't really know what to do for a lot of things relationship-wise and will need to be guided, but he's gonna try his best.

Egon:

Egon is a hard-core voyeur. He loves filming anything from him torturing someone to having his way with someone or simply watching MC sleep. He always has a camera nearby, plus he has cameras set up all over Trance's house that he has access to. He saves any recordings he likes and burns them onto DVDs, which he keeps organized in his bedroom.

Don't ever fuck with or hurt Trance if you don't want to mess with a pissed off Egon.

Egon speaks in a low raspy voice because his throat was damaged when the cultists tried to kill him years ago, and he also has a slight heart murmur from when they tried to cut out his heart.

With MC, Egon may be a bit....obsessive. You're not allowed to leave his room unless he says it's okay and he's with you. You don't need anything anymore, just him. He has a whole shelf dedicated to videos he has taken of you in various situations, but he especially loves watching you sleep. He may still hurt you every now and then, but he reminds you that he's being more gentle than with the others, and he does more threatening than actual inflicting pain now.

Hauer:

Hauer surprisingly has an actual doctorate.

He was diagnosed as a sociopath at the age of 9, but his father (being of a higher status) didn't want the Hauer name ruined, so he had the diagnosis taken off of Hauer's medical record and simply homeschooled him.

Hauer has a very thick German accent and he doesn't always know the English word for things, so he may simply say the German word and hope you understand.

With MC, you will be his main focus and he better be yours. He doesn't want you talking to anyone who isn't him. He will spoil you, shower you with gifts, cook you fancy dinners, etc. He would actually take really good care of you, just don't cross him. He will get easily frustrated when he doesn't understand an emotion of yours, and he may lash out, but he will make it up to you the best that he can.

- - -

Egon and Wraith are not brothers! Wraith is a demon who attached himself to Egon when a group of cultists were trying to sacrifice Egon, but since Egon wasn't pure (at all), it pretty much summoned Wraith and he's stuck around since. Wraith is actually a shapeshifter and that's pretty much his preferred appearance, though he does tailor it a bit to look a little similar to Egon. He sort of acts like an annoying brother to Egon, Wraith has the energy of an annoying frat boy which is pretty much the opposite of Egon's energy.

- - -

What the boys would call MC:

Trance: Sweetheart

Egon: Igrushka (Russian for "toy")

Seiren: Hun/Honey

Wraith: Kitten, babe

Jet: Baby

Hauer: Darling, pet

Ralph: (Doesn't really know any, he'll probably refer to MC by name unless MC teaches him pet names, which he'll gladly use)

Hope you enjoyed this, thank you for asking!! I love answering these tbh

[remolupini]

Contract lent

This fic was supposed to be for the buck moon moonchaser event yesterday (started by @mkaugust ) but I couldn't write yesterday, so I'm 9 hours late to this. Let's ignore it. Also it ends sad I'm sorry

Around two months into living in this new town (Remus didn't catch its name and didn't care to ask Lyall to repeat himself, given that by Christmas they'll most probably be living somewhere else anyway), the rules changed for no reason at all. Whereas they used to be softer (avoid people if you do go into town, no more than thirty minutes on the front lawn, etc...) and the harsher ones where reserved for the days right before and right after the moon, they became just a series of don't do that's Lyall didn't care to explain.

Remus said nothing, but he truly didn't understand. He really thought he was doing everything right. He'd sat both his Os and his OWLs that year, the first at the local school, the second ones at home presieded by the Hogwarts Deputy Headmistress.

He knew his father had cast the glamour right, because she didn't even bother with a second glance at his face to check if she was seeing what she thought she was seeing. The questions had been easy, and given Lyall had managed to schedule them on the new moon, Remus was feeling quite well during the actual exams, so much there really would have been no other possible reason for mistakes but being underprepared, which was good given he hadn't made any errors.

His father even told him that he deserved the summer off, which hadn't happened since Lyall managed to get a waiver for his trace when he was eleven to homeschool him.

And yet, he wasn't even allowed to open the front door. Great fucking summer vacation.

-

The Potters were very proud of their new summer home. It wasn't exactly new, as it had been in the family for decades, but it was newly Euphemia's, as her aunt (one she didn't even like all that much) had died during the school year and left it to her.

Apparently Fleamont had bragged about it to everyone he so much as ran into at the ministry, to the point there probably wasn't one person in the wizarding word that didn't know about it.

James also loved it. It wasn't as big as Potter Manor, but very little things were. The main problem, though, was the town nearby. It was lovely, picturesque, with women chatting with the butcher while doing their shopping. However, it absolutely lacked teenagers.

James would go in town for a walk and see no one. A blonde woman stopped him twice to ask if he was lost (she had a welsh accent), and at this point, he might have been.

In Godric's Hollow at least he would see Marlene and Pete. Here it was nothing at all.

-

The rules changed again when Hope fell. It was nothing too bad, just a broken leg, but she couldn't exactly go to the shops like that.

Given that Lyall a)worked most of the day and b)could not distinguish a two-pence from a pound, it became Remus's job to do the shopping. He had to cast a glamour, and only stay out as much as necessary, coming back home as soon as possible.

Remus loved to see himself with the glamour casted. It couldn't do much for some of the physical attributes of being a werewolf (how tall and gangly he was, for example) but he could spend hours looking at the things it could modify, and imagine that boy at Hogwarts.

It hurt too, to see the mirror project the image of the smooth skinned, darker hazel eyed teen he would never actually be.

But for now, he could go to the shops.

-

It took two weeks of being at the summer home for James to finally see another teenager, but once he saw him, he really couldn't complain.

He had known he was into blokes for a while (it's hard not to when you're training with 5-6 twice a week since you're 12) but there really was something else about this one guy.

He was not dressed for summer, covered head to toe with a sweater and jeans. He walked to the butcher's, then the grocer's, then he stopped by the book seller, and bought something at each stop, and then, finally, he sat in the square James was in.

There was something slightly off about his face, in the way his feautures blended into each other, like they were giving space to something that wasn't there. And his eyes. His eyes confused him. They felt wrong, in colour, and dull.

He was one of the most handsome people James had come across, still.

It took him a while to place where he'd seen a similar effect. In fourth year, Mary had started practicing her glamours, hoping to hide any hickey she might receive, and one day she'd decided to try and change her eye colour has well.

Lily had said there were muggle things that could do that too, and they also worked a bit like the temporary eye sight spells his father used on James when going swimming. If only he could remember the name she said. Contract lent?

-

So maybe he shouldn't have bought a book, and he really shouldn't have sat in the square to read it, but it was his first day allowed out of the house since the june moon.

And also there was a cute guy also sitting in the square.

Remus knew he was gay. There's only so many times you can agree wholeheartedly to a Robert Redford movie marathon with your mom before you realise why you're so looking foward to them. It certainly wasn't to spend more time with Hope, given that they were both basically on house arrest in the same house.

So he knew that handsome men would have an effect on him. And he read enough to know what the effect would be: his heart would speed up, his face would be hotter, his stomach would feel like it was trying to digest itself (you can use all kinds of cutesy names for this, like butterflies, but that's how it feels).

And yet knowing is different from experiencing it, isn't it?

And the bloke was handsome. He had the built of a sportsman (but Remus didn't know enough about sports to say which) covered by deep brown skin. His face was covered in a normal and youthful amount of zits and the small circular scars they left behind, but somehow it didn't detract at all.

He was mesmerising.

Remus read as much as he could, trying to ignore the wonderful presence nearby, but eventually the boy talked and any pretence of not being completely enraptured by him was abandoned.

"Do you have eyesight problems?"

Well that was a weird ice breaker. Was Remus squinting too hard, trying to focus on the book and the book alone?

"Uh, no?"

"Oh, so what are the-" the boy raised his hand to his own glasses"- for?"

Like an idiot, Remus went to pat his head to check if he was wearing glasses. He wasn't and he knew that, but he was too confused to remember that.

"The coloured, uhm, lents"

Oh, fuck. He knew his glamous was a bit worse than his father's (okay maybe a lot worse, but he had only known the spell for a year and a half, and how to cast any spell for five) but he didn't think it'd look visibly fake. Confusing maybe, but not fake.

"Just... vanity."

The boy smiled and Remus felt himself turn into a puddle. "Well I don't think you need it. Brown eyes are lovely too." he added, pointing to himself eith a chuckle.

Remus laughed too, but he could in no way describe the other boy's eyes as just brown. They were dark and deep and sweet. Weirdly they reminded him of the wood of his wand, of how much a single object gave him hope.

"I'll think about it." He couldn't, but he said it anyway. "I should head home now, though."

The boy watched him as he took his things, and started walking, then called after him. "I'm in town 'til a week to September!"

Remus didn't have the heart to tell him that they would probably have to move once Lyall found out about this afternoon. So he just said "See you around, then."

[a-woman-apart]

Watch "I'M BACK! WHY I LEFT YOUTUBE FOR TWO YEARS!" on YouTube

This scared me so badly, because this is EXACTLY what happened in my life, except it was all in The Reverse.

I graduated with an Associate Degree in Music Performance in 2018, but instead of running TOWARDS my dream/calling I ran hardcore AWAY from it. My pride in graduating only lasted a month before I declared myself Utterly Unmarketable and sought to go after a "real degree" and get a Big Girl career.

Between 2018 and 2020 I had major life changes.

My dad died of stomach cancer

I broke up with my neglectful boyfriend

I turned down a Full Ride to a major college

I hospitalized myself for Suicidal Ideation (Sept 2019)

I quit my job of 5 years

I started working for my best friend and became her Office Manager

I started dating the Love of my Life

I lost my friend group and peer support

I lost my mind and left college due to COVID-19 (but not before making one of my best decisions in taking a Screenwriting class because I WANTED not NEEDED it)

Started distancing myself from the toxic women in my life and definining Womanhood/Adulthood for myself

Visited my brother's grave after over a decade of waiting and got closure

Fully acknowledged my childhood trauma/abuse

Rediscovered my sexuality

Was disowned by who I erroneously thought was a close friend of 17 years over my political views

Joined and exited Unity2020

Turned in my car for repossession

Spent a week in the hospital after having a severe, paranoid psychotic break, but came out completely free of the vice of self-consciousness I was living under

You know what is nuts? I feel in many ways, I have completely reverted to who I was in the summer of 2011. I was off my meds, and it WAS mania, but personality-wise, the tempestuous, gum-chewing, cigarette-puffing, flirtatious, humorous, free-spirited ball of fire that drove all the way to Colorado on a whim wasn't rebellious, SHE WAS ME.

I just wasn't Me around the right people, and it wasn't the Right Time.

My inner Sagittarius moon would remain in a dormant state for almost a full decade. I would spend the next 9 years heavily sedated, sleepwalking through life, only alive at The Sound of Music.

It was Torture to feel so much but be afraid to express myself. I had to Hide while doing a major that demanded that I Command Attention. I am by nature "dramatic", "theatrical", "emotional", "expressive" but that part of me was so suppresed that I was frequently told I sang with excellence but without emotion.

Aside: During my 2011 manic episode, I spoke a lot about Doppelgangers. Without going into excessive detail, this is a German word that means "Double" and it is considered bad luck to encounter yours.

In the past 2 weeks, I have encountered people that look/sound like me (Josephine is Nigerian-Canadian and I am Nigerian-American and I kept thinking about her work even though I initially disagreed with her lot) and a woman with my name (different spelling) who was NOTHING like me and I also think might've had malice in mind for me.

I was DEFINITELY an agnostic atheist when I started this year, but as a result of undergoing so much weird shit I almost certainly believe in God, and yes, "God is a Woman." (More on that later)

Also, I realized that I really DID, as many teenage girls, "lose interest in math and science" but that was because of the terrible, unfactual way it was presented in my homeschool curriculum and by my mom, who was a Math major but whose disinterested detachment made every algebra lesson an excercise in torture.

I have always loved biolology and anatomy and I remember so much more chemistry than I thought. Geology class in community college was amazing and also helped me understand-- even more than the Theory of Evolution-- why young earth creationism was completely impossible.

As for math, I spent 15 years thinking it was my greatest weakness when I have had to use arithmetic in cashiering, my managerial work, and my monthly budget for the last 7 years. Also, as annoying as it was to hear constantly, my mom parroting "What you have to do to one side, you have to do to the other" (but in reverse) gave me the ability to do Algebra quickly and (mostly) effortlessly. I could never get A's, but I got a B in Quantitative Mathematics with no real help aside from occasional teacher input and the "Help me solve this" function of MyMathLab.

Here is where it Gets Weird. I am a Creative. I have been writing stories since I was 6 years old. I have loved Story all my life. My parents were in math and science fields and they completely lacked any creativity. COMPLETELY. It was part of why they were so religiously rigid, authoritarian, and draconian. There was no room for spontaneity or childish imaginativeness.

Looking back, I had major sensory and processing issues. I was likely speech delayed, I learned to read late, and I recently confirmed that when I am stressed my dyscalculia kicks in bad (it IS real). Numbers and symbols get really interchangeable (like an 8 and infinity symbol become kinda the same) which is why I had to recite phone numbers out loud to remember them or write them on colorful backgrounds so I can see them in my head as an image. Also explains my aversion to math but my ease with fractions (1/2 is half a sandwich, etc).

My spatial awareness is also shit when stressed. Before I turned in our car, I had earned the nickname "U-turn" from my boyfriend because on that Floating Death Machine left and right got completely crossed, frequently.

By the way, I struggled with right and left until I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD. I literally didn't understand the concept of a mirror and 3D space, meaning that the basic understanding that my right is someone else's left didn't come into play until I had an argument with my [now-deceased] brother about it.

What is so weird, is that because of years of correcting for these issues, my sense of direction, ON FOOT is good, if not better than most people. Also, once I realized that, given the opportunity, I very much do whatever I can with my left-hand, and that my hearing is MUCH better than I even thought, I am far less clumsy. Depth perception is still crap, but that is probably also because I was forced to spend years without the glasses I needed (and got earlier this year after living with chronic eye strain)

When I talk about these "issues" it is in line with female autism, but you know what? If really do have adult autism, then I am a Complete Boss because I have pwned that ho.

After being rehospitalized, a kind nurse suggested I may have PTSD and suggested medicine for insomnia and nightmares. It was extremely helpful. I had been looking into C-PTSD for a while, because I didn't think I had "suffered enough" to have "real" PTSD. But that isn't how diagnoses work.

Btw, I still have Bipolar I, Psychotic Features. Another kind nurse told me I don't need anti-psychotics, and no, I don't. I was given Zyprexa by a bitch nurse and it was like getting drunk. I stumbled the halls, almost fell over (possibly did) and woke up with a neon "Fall Risk" bracelet. Anti-psychotics also fucked up my menstrual cycle for years and I have had lingering hormonal isssues. Haha no thanks.

Anyway, I digress. Of course I am fucked up. I lived under family members who questioned my reality, attempted to crush my dreams, threatened me with physical punishment any time I behaved in non-neurotypical ways, violated my rights and interfered with my treatment even though I was a full legal adult, undermined my relationships, tortured and socially isolated me, etc., all under the guise "of knowing best."

In minority cultures, our darkness hides in plain sight, and ESPECIALLY in the Bible Belt, with its supeestition and idolization of familial hierarchy/patriarchy, victims of financial, spiritual, emotional, and physical abuse have no where safe to turn. The Long Arm of the Law is often Short when it comes to "breaking up the family", and women and children are victimized openly with little to no intervention.

On top of doing my Creative Work, I plan to create legislation to make sure that what happened to me and my siblings isn't allowed to go unpunished. We lost my older brother, and I almost died, too, but Enough is Enough.

The Time is Now.

P.S. If Josephine is an Air Nomad I identify as a Water Bender. I basically have no water in my astrological chart, but water signs bring me great comfort in times of need (and make bad romantic partners for me obviously)

Also, this is one Bad Biyatch.

I also found out I am an ISFJ, not INFJ. Yep. Gonna be a Playwright and Director. I want to be a part of the action, not just writing about it.