#although i just watched severance and i have a lot of feelings about people forgetting stuff now

[luna-loveboop]

Wanted to share some thoughts, cause I NEED TO SHARE IT. (Though it might be quite obvious, yeah...)

So, the whole thing with Warriors acting more stern with Wild lately. One could think: "Why just Wild? Hyrule can be quite reckless sometimes, and Wind is THE BABY, so why not them too?"

Well, there's one thing that they don't have, but Wild sure does...luck of self-preservation.

Wars can trust that others, even IF they let emotions take over, would still try to avoid DYING.

WILD WILL NOT. This fella uses his FACE as a SHIELD for ANOTHER PERSON, when there's NO NEED FOR THIS, while being in his "right mind".

SO WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT OF HIM, WHEN HE LOOSES HIS MIND IN A STRESSFUL SITUATION?

Wars still gave him the benefit of the doubt for a while, but after this whole fiasco with Twi's injury - Wars just can not help it, he FEARS for Wild's well-being, because "Champ" himself DOES NOT (with his whole "failure of a hero" thing, I presume).

And how does one even adress it? I doubt Wars saw many people who didn't care about their life before, he was at war, usually people want TO SURVIVE there. He's on edge cause he sees a problem and has no idea how to aproach it.

I want to preface this by saying I have a severe inability to stay on topic but yeah let's talk about it.

So you touched on something me and Jesse have both touched on- that Wars' actions towards Wild come from a place of concern and fear. I think that this is true. Wild DOES lack self-preservation instincts, and Wars has to be afraid of losing him- of the young knight earning more scars. Wild can be an idiot sometimes, but Wars saw him lose his head and attack the shadow when it was just proved to be lethal more than they knew.

There's a difference of perspective between ours and the boys tho that is important and I think contributes to people judging wars for this. See, to Wars perspective, and all of the boys, they could die at any time. An injury could be fatal and they can't see the future. We however KNOW that Wild survives, because we know he goes on to tears of the kingdom. We know Jojo has said that he is reckless and will get himself hurt but always comes out of it. But Wars has watched a billion (<exaggeration) soldiers die and is terrified of it happening again. Whereas we watch the comic from the outside, knowing for certain Wild will make it, Wars is living out that reality harshly.

ANoThER thing I think people forget to account for is Wars is not just a captain, he's a soldier but also leader in an army. I'm not the best with phrasing sometimes so I'll try to say this well- people in the army don't always get to be nice. Oftentimes armies have very harsh environments in treatment towards soldiers because when it comes down to training and life and death there is no time for niceties or feelings. Wars was pushed into the most major promotion ever pretty much to be an army leader. If he's now in the mindset of viewing Wild as a fellow knight/soldier who is not a leader... angry words and facial expressions is pretty mild to be honest.

Wars is a really nice person for all he's gone through, but fighting in a war is a very different experience than a solo journey like the others had. I think it's time to acknowledge that he was forced into far more of a role than the pretty hero, but also an armies leader, and it takes a lot of work to be a nice person through all that. Wars is a nice person who has a ton of strength to be so kind after all he's been through and his actions towards Wild make sense considering his past with what journey he came from. Thank you for coming to my ted talk- no I'm not done.

If anything I said was in any way offensive let me know. I hope my words didn't somehow come across as harsh.

Although him (in a way) treating Wild as someone who is out of line is understandable given his past, it's still not excusable. Wild isn't a soldier and he's not the leader.

Now for Wild time I'm going totally of the rails let's go

Wild doesn't. Yeah ok Wild doesn't like Wars. I've made like. Fifteen thousand nine hundred and fifty two posts on this (<big exaggeration). Wild has not really... spoken to Wars throughout the Lu storyline, tho he did in some of Jojo's starting doodles. Wild has really only spoken to Wars since it all went down when mr. stubborn got injured. I think Wild has a lot of resentment towards Wars for being the knight he was supposed to- who succeeded. Wild has flat out ignored Wars a lot of the time and honestly I'd get pretty frustrated with that too.

Also I along with the other nine hundred people want Wars to trigger an army memory in Wild. For the angst.

Wars is wrong in how he's acting towards Wild and Wild is wrong in how he's treated Wars not as someone worthy of respect. It's hard to pinpoint what's going on in Wild's head but I DO know Wars thoughts- he's terrified for Wild's life and angry that he ignored him and fought the shadow.

But yeah you're right. Wild has no self preservation instincts and Wars can't rely on him to freaking stay alive. Thank you for sending me an ask and sharing your thoughts with me!!! You matter and I love hearing from you /gen <3

Also. Let's make this clear. I love Wars so much. So very much. He's literally a fairy godmother. No hating on him or Wild on my posts. Thank :D

[wonderfull-star]

Is it just me or do people just overestimate Peri in some aspects?

Especially people on reddit. I haven't watched the entire cartoon yet, but damn. Some people SERIOUSLY think Peri is a super caring perfect godparent and a really kind character. Like, the best version of Cosmo. Are you serious?? It feels like some people who think that haven't watched the original series. Because people there clearly overestimate Peri and underestimate Cosmo. Yes, Cosmo is far from a genius, but he's definitely not a complete idiot either. And he definitely has a lot more experience than his son. He's already thousands of years old, while his son is only in his 20s…

I feel sorry for Cosmo and Dev 😭

Well, yes, Dev is a spoiled kid. Yes, he used magic for bad purposes. However, he is still just a child who, despite everything, tries to become better. Even if he does such thoughtless and bad things. Well, what else can you expect if no one in particular was involved in his upbringing, and his father himself does not pay enough attention to him.

I am also sure that when Peri first met Dev, he was more worried about his job at first. Which is understandable. After all, it was his first time and he was afraid of making even the slightest mistake. Because of all these rules and his peculiarity of magic, he developed severe anxiety.

I think the idea of ​​creating Poof as an adult is to show through his character the real difficulties that people go through at this age and the pressure of society. And you know, it suits him so well. In the original series, he was always in the spotlight and everyone always had high expectations for him. It is clear that at an older age, this will not affect him in the best way.

Still, sometimes Peri didn't behave in the best way. He had just gotten his job at the first time. Even with all the education he had gone through, it wouldn't make him a good godparent right away, that's for sure. After all, what's important in this job is not the training but the experience itself, which he clearly doesn't have yet. People also forget that Peri initially wanted to be a tooth fairy not a fairy godparent. So I wonder: wasn't it primarily the influence of his parents and the fact that THEY wanted to see him in this job and not Peri himself? In real life, unfortunately, this often happens and all this later ends in a not very good way.

So even if Peri had Hazel as his godchild, it still wouldn't have solved the problem. And not because he's bad as a godparent, but because this job is simply not right for him. In some moments, he acted pretty disinterested even when Dev wasn't acting like an egoist. Yes, now people will throw various excuses at me about this, but still. However, it's even clear that Peri clearly doesn't enjoy this job. Seriously, if you remember Cosmo and Wanda from the original cartoon, they mostly enjoyed what they do (although they've been doing this for thousands of years). The thing is that they just get along well with children and find a common language with them. Perhaps I think the creators wanted to show the problem in choosing your profession and what you really like to do in life. And what difficulties you have to go through to find what you really like to do.

But some people just don't care about it, considering Peri the best in literally everything. In fact, they consider him as tumblr "star"man and Dev as a simple spoiled child. Crazy fans forget that almost every character has their own shortcomings and bad sides. Well, and also the opposite of all this. I consider Peri more as a neutral character with his good qualities and flaws. Still, it is impossible to deny that in some moments he really did not act in the best way.

Peri’s simps detected 📸(don’t take it seriously lol)

And this is a very common situation in fandoms…

[oddlittlestories]

I love Monk. I’m not really recommending it because, well, it IS about police and it DOES have some fairly ableist content. But I love it.

Monk is an interesting character. He’s introduced as having an “anxiety disorder” that occurred from the traumatic event of his wife being murdered. Over the course of the show, it becomes pretty clear that he was neurodivergent his whole life, but had a serious spike in support needs after his wife’s death. He has one nurse, but he should pretty clearly have two—even if one is a part-time respite nurse. Many of his “boundary violations” obviously come from seeking needed support at inappropriate times. This man should not really be left alone, at least not at the start of the show. He can’t cope. But also getting a new nurse / assistant / I forget the specific word is very very difficult for him.

He’s billed, I believe, as having OCD. But if you just look at his behavior, there are several labels that could fit. Autism would probably be one of them.

A lot of the humor in the show revolves around his disability, which could and may to some feel like the show makes his disability the butt of the joke. With some notable exceptions (fuck you medication episode) I don’t really think this is the case.

Let’s look at the pilot. Sharona, his nurse, goes on a date and leaves him alone on “chicken pot pie night.” She tells him, you’ll be fine! Even my son could cook a chicken pot pie. He cannot cook a chicken pot pie. He is counting out individual peas. To me, this is funny because of how obvious it is that he needs more support.

He literally calls her son for help. This is hilarious because it obviously wasn’t her intention, but her son is actually walking Monk through how to make a chicken pot pie. The literalism - that Benjy really CAN help him cook a chicken pot pie - is funny to me.

I’m also very interested in how the show interacts with both work and the police. Monk is not capable of working full-time, and although he desperately wants to go back at first, eventually he accepts that as a consultant, he can have the flexibility he needs to still find murderers.

The police officers he works with often feel threatened and embarrassed by him, but at the same time need his talents. Jealousy comes up often. And since the main officers are at least duly sympathetic, this gets explored as awful instead of brushed off as campy villainy from antagonists.

I also really like the way gaze is used in the show. Monk comes onto a crime scene and others watch as he makes a bunch of pronouncements, struggles with one anxiety or another, gets support from his nurse, and then explains his pronouncements. I like that it seems like folks are disturbed by his need for support, but that the show frames the support as a positive thing and the anxiety itself as a struggle.

Monk is also a person. He loved his wife. He plays the clarinet. He doesn’t have much time to pursue hobbies or interests outside of managing his disability and doing the work which he loves and seems compelled to do in equal measure. But he IS a person.

Anyways I’m not necessarily saying go out and watch it. It has many flaws and it is ableist at times, and it doesn’t bother to fully unpack how the people in Monk’s life respond to him, nor always to explore his agency and individuality. He is a fussy and fastidious detective, which is a common archetype, but they don’t always go as far beyond that as they should.

Like I said, it’s not House. But I’m gonna probably rewatch all of it now that it’s on Netflix.

[youreallyshouldtalkmore]

That’s the Tale of It

A.N:  I still think about Tighnari oiling is tail to this day. It was just a line that you didn’t even get unless you talked to him while camping during his story arc. It was so random but important info, you know. lol So naturally I had to write a story about it. Tighnari x reader 

Genshin Impact MasterList  

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The two of you were newlyweds, so this was the fourth time you had seen Tighnari oil his tail, a habit he developed every night in order to remain well groomed during the day. To date, you had never asked to help him, instead observing him as you undid your own hair for the day. 

“How is it this man is even still alive?” Tighnari growled, “I have posted the ‘Guide to Avidya Forest’ on the bulletin years ago, I have gifted a copy to him several times. I have even taken time out of my precious days to educate the man, and yet he still after all these years he forgets what mushrooms to avoid? Even you, have gotten up to speed faster than that lummox! I should just stuff the mushroom down his throat and finish the job!!” 

Despite his growling over Farbod, a man who could never heed the advice of the Forest Rangers, his hands were always gentle as he smoothed and oiled his tail. 

“Hm-mm…” you murmured, your eyes on his hands. You had heard a lot about Farbod over the years, so it wasn’t like he was saying anything new. 

“Perhaps I should have you give him a crash course on what mushrooms to avoid! Maybe he’ll listen and retain it from you. You were one of my better students in this last few years. Although he swears that he doesn’t enjoy little imaginary fairies dancing before his eyes, he has gotten almost no better in all this time. On second thought, it is perhaps time to let him be….”  

“Hm-mm…” 

Tighnari glanced up at you to see that you were watching him. He blinked before looking down at his tail. Were you watching him? 

His face heated up a little as he gave a cough, “Y/N…” 

“Yeah?” To his relief, you met his eyes. 

“What do you think we should do?” His hands stopped as he looked at you. 

“Uh…” 

Tighnari’s ears twitched once, “About Farbod. Keep up.” 

“Ahh, well, since he’s a repeat offender, I’m inclined to think he likes the imaginary fairies. But I shall talk with him. If he still doesn’t heed this last warning, we’ll consider it as he likes it and let him be. You would have done all you can.” You answered, turning away from him. 

Tighnari nodded, although you didn’t see him. Sounds reasonable enough. On the other side, though, his brain was not thinking of the nuisance that was Farbod but how your eyes lingered on his hands and tails. 

Despite his fox appendices, he was not a pet to be cuddled, even though he knew most people would have loved to pet his ears or tails. He had long since gotten used to people’s eyes trailing to his ears in particular. It used to annoy him, but he found he had other things to worry about as long they didn’t go to try to touch him without permission. 

Permission he recently granted to you shortly before you were married. But that had only extended to his ears and only in private where no one could witness what a hot mess he would become in your hands. 

It was quite embarrassing to Tighnari how he would whine and sigh at your light fingertips working its way in his ears. The cautious and hard glint in his eyes would fall away, leaving him feeling extremely vulnerable. 

But you never took advantage of that, even if you liked to tease him when it was only the two of you. 

That permission did not extend to his tail. 

He had never given you leeway to touch it, and you never attempted to do so. But it just now occurred to him that, perhaps, he should have his new wife help him. 

But his face was already heating up at the prospect. 

If his ears produced such a vulnerability, how much more would his tail in your hands feel? 

“Ti, are you alright?” 

Tighnari almost jumped out of his skin at you climbing into your side of the bed. He had been sitting still for quite some time, he realized. 

“You done?” you inquired. 

Tighnari coughed once, his eyes sliding away from you. 

You peered at him in concern,“Are you sure you’re okay?”

Tighnari fought to regain his composure, “Yes, and no, I’m not done.” 

You nodded once before swiping a book from the dresser and popping it open, saying not another word. 

“Help me?” 

You were barely into a paragraph when the words filtered into your brain, making you blink and look up. Tighnari was holding the jar out towards you without looking at you. 

“I wouldn’t know, but logic dictates it would be easier for another to oil my tail. However, given that it’s invasive, I would never let just anyone touch it. But since you are my wife and mate, it has occurred to me, that you have the right to do so. So…help me?” 

It took you a minute to place the book back on the shelf and take the jar of oil. Suddenly shyness overcame you as you ducked your gaze, “Are… you sure? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” 

You felt a hand come under your chin and lift your gaze.

“I’m sure. Help me.” 

A demand, not a question this time. 

You gave a nod before he retracted his arm, and the both of you just sat there awkwardly for a minute. 

Then he turned and flopped on his stomach. “This is probably better.” He murmured. 

You weren’t sure if he was telling you or himself. 

Although you had watched him all of four times, now face with the reality, you had no idea what to do, “Ahh, what do you want me to do?” 

“Ahh, right.” Tighnari propped himself on his elbow, realizing that he held the small comb in his hand. He handed it to you, “Just rubbed some of the essential oil on your hand and use this to work out any kinks. It’s really like the hair on your head, at the end of the day.” 

You took the comb without looking at him, and his own eyes were elsewhere. He was quite happy, his voice did not waver as he gave an explanation. 

Why were your fingers trembling? You managed to rub some oil between them before cautiously running your hand through his tail. You weren’t sure where he already applied and hopefully he would say something if you were doing it wrong. 

You managed to imitate the way you have seen him attend to his tail, before running the comb through it. Then you move onto the next section. 

Your fingers were warm and gentle as they continued. You did not do unnecessary pulling and were quite adapt at untangling the knots that got worked into it from daily life. 

It was quite a calming affair making Tighnari’s eyes flutter. 

Strangly, he suddenly found himself wanting to fall asleep. While oiling his tail himself was quite meditating, it never felt as good as the way you were doing. You were taking quite a bit of care. Perhaps a bit too much, but he could feel your hands becoming steadier the longer you worked. 

Tighnari’s ears twitched, “It took me several years to get the correct consistency of the herbs to make the oil I use today. I have made a cream format before, but I don’t like the way my tail stuck together, and it looked unbecoming. It must maintain a glossy shine, which is why I prefer the oil.” 

“Is there a Sumeru Rose in this?” you asked. You swore you detected it slightly. 

“Very good! Very good! Yes, a Sumeru Rose is one of the ingredients. I once tried to use mint, as it’s in abundance like a common weed, but….that might have had a number of side effects I do not like. And I’m not particular on the smell.”

You ran the comb though detangling a knot, making him sigh in bliss, giving an involuntary hum. 

Your hand stilled at the new sound from your new husband. 

Tighnari realized that he had produced a kind of mewling sound. He was glad his face was away from you. He coughed and used his tail to give you a light smack in the face, “Continue….” 

“Ahh, sure…” you giggled. His tail was really soft and bushy. 

But really, why did you your hands have to feel that good in his tail? He hadn’t even dreamt how nice it would feel to have you do this for him. However, his eyes popped open when you got closer to the base of his tail. 

Feeling the shift, you retracted your hands, “Sorry!” 

“Ahh, no. It’s fine. Please continue.” Tighnari spoke. 

“Ti, you don’t have to force yourself.” 

Tighnari turned his head to look up at you then, “Trust me, I wouldn’t. It just startled me. Continue…” 

“Let me know if I hurt you, okay?” You were serous about this as you looked down at him. 

He nodded once, and you reached back up to continue your administrations while he turned his face to the other side.  A comfortable silence reigned as you finished up. 

When you considered yourself done, you sat back and spoke, “How is that?” 

There was a beat or two before you got a response, “You practically put me to sleep. Are you sure you were never trained as a masseuse?” 

“No way….” you laughed, “Though I’m glad it was satisfactory.” You screwed the top back on the oil jar before turning and putting it and the comb on the dresser.

When you turned back, you found yourself laying flat on your back with Tighnari looking down at you. 

You practically put him to sleep, he said? 

So why was he looking down at you like a predator hunting his prey. 

Quite wide awake if you ask me! 

You gulped. 

Was your massage that good? 

“I’m quite curious now.” 

When Tighnari said nothing else but look down at you, you realize he was waiting for your response, “About?” 

“You have handled my tail, quite well. Better than I expect for your first time. But now I’m wondering about your masseuse talent, that I’m just now discovering.” His voice was slow as he continued, “I’m wondering what else you could massage quite as well.” 

Your eyes widened once before, your eyes darted all over, not meeting his gaze. 

But Tighnari continued, “I believe an experiment is the only way, we will learn these things. How well can you massage….” 

In retaliation, you reached up and ran a hand up and down the base of his ears, making his voice falter. His brown-green eyes melted at your touch. 

“Yes, we are aware of that particular area.” He murmured, “But I have in mind some other experiments.” 

You giggled, “Do you now?” 

Tighnari gave a wicked smirk, “Indeed. Now, let us began…..” 

And then his lips descended upon yours. 

[iamyoursinblog]

Halloween party

Pairing: Jackson Wang x Reader

Genre: smut

Word Count:  2.9 k

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LIST

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You liked the fact that everyone in your company dressed up in Halloween costumes. It was funny, especially the party that was held after work.

You were spinning in front of the mirror, trying to figure out if your costume was too provocative. Although you didn't have a plan B anyway. No matter what happens, you giggled quickly leaving the house. You tried not to pay attention to how everyone around you reacted to you while you got to work. You sighed with relief when you pulled into the underground parking lot. You laughed when you saw several people in cosplay costumes. This will be fun, you thought as you got out of the car.

Every year everyone tried to surprise with their costume, and light accessories grew into full-fledged cosplays. You examined your mistress costume from head to toe in the mirror, checking the riding crop in your hand. Why is it only now that you started to feel like your latex dress is too short?

“Holly fuck!” you laughed at the reaction of your assistant who was waiting for you when the elevator doors opened on your floor. “Did you forget that today is Halloween, so you came in your everyday role?” he raised an eyebrow at you.

You smacked him on the shoulder. “Shut up,” you rolled your eyes. “You think that’s too much?” You asked when you entered the office.

“Too sexy, too tight, too short, too high heels, too dominant... Just right!” He smiled widely at you. “Oh...” He stopped in the doorway turning in your direction. “It’s okay though... this will be fun,” he chuckled quietly before leaving the office.

You were glad that you didn't have much work to do today and you could enjoy the time just hanging out with your friends at work. You didn’t even notice how the day flew by until you found yourself in the middle of a party. You continued to scan the room to make sure everything was going well. After all, this year you were in charge of the party.

“Jackson is here,” your assistant said as he approached you.

"Who? WHAT?" You stared at him with wide eyes. Just now you remembered that Jackson Wang was invited to the party because he was the face of your brand. How could you forget about this? You looked sharply at the assistant when you remembered his behavior in the morning “Oh you...” You swung your riding crop at him, but he ran away before you could reach him.

“You seem to know how to use it,” a deep voice made you freeze in place. You slowly turned towards Jackson, who was looking at you with a smile.

“I... it’s just part of the costume,” you quickly replied, hiding the riding crop behind your back. “Glad you were able to come to the party. Let me show you to the table,” you showed him the way. Damn how could you forget that Jackson was coming. Oh, this is definitely a bad choice of costume, you thought about your too vulgar appearance.

You tried to hide all evening, watching the Jackson table from afar. You stamped your foot angrily, realizing that no one had approached his table for the last half an hour. You quickly made your way to his table when you saw that all the drinks were empty.

“Oh wow!” one of the guys whistled when you approached the table. “And why haven’t we been served by such a sexy kitty before?” said the second guy at the Jackson table.

“Shut up idiot! You make me look bad!” Jackson slapped one of the guys on the shoulder as everyone laughed. Jackson smiled at you, and you barely restrained yourself from laughing at his drunken state.

“Do you want something?” You asked looking only at Jackson, and not paying attention to the behavior of others.

“Do I want something...” Jackson grinned, looking you up and down as if you were dessert. You could practically feel his gaze on your skin.

You pointed at him with your riding crop making him look into your eyes “I’m not trying to seduce you.” You said and everyone at his table laughed out loud. Jackson lowered his head, trying to hide his embarrassment, while the others laughed at him. You ran the leather edge of the crop along his neck, lifting his chin. “Would you like me to seduce you?” you grinned, Jackson's lips parted slightly making him look so innocent, making you want to really seduce him. Jackson's gaze changed, causing everything inside you to shrink into a tight knot. Oh boy... You barely restrained yourself from moaning at the look he was looking at you. You couldn’t even understand what kind of look it was, and why it turned you on so much. “Anyway...” You quickly changed your tone to jokingly laughing with everyone when your fantasy went too far. It seems that you have gotten used to the role of the dominant too much. “I was asking about drinks,” you said, smiling widely. You quickly moved away from the table, heading to the bar to order Jackson drinks.

You took a few sips of cold water, trying to calm the heat in your body. And what was that, you thought. You turned around and were surprised to see that Jackson was still looking at you.

“It seems your suit worked as it should, lady,” your assistant said, appearing out of nowhere.

“Looks like you're up for a beating,” you snorted, slapping him on the shoulder. “How could you not remind me that Jackson will be at the party!” you practically growled, “This is definitely not the way I should have greeted him!!!” You patted his shoulder again.

“That’s exactly why I didn’t say it,” he laughed. “Because that’s exactly the way you should greet him,” he said, turning your head towards Jackson, who continued to look at you. You quickly took your assistant’s hand and headed to the end of the hall. “If you suddenly want Jackson to think that I'm your boyfriend, you failed from the very beginning. He knows I'm gay"

“How does he know about this?” you looked at him in surprise

“I'm dating one of his friends,” your assistant said, hugging you. “And by the way, I think Jackson likes you. Not just today because of your sexy looks, but from the very beginning. He's always looked at you that way, you just didn't pay attention because you focused on work,” he chuckled before leaving you alone.

It doesn't matter, you thought, reminding yourself that Jackson was an idol. It would be too foolish to take it too seriously.

You breathed a sigh of relief when the party ended and everyone left. You looked around the empty hall and smiled contentedly, enjoying your work. You walked down to the parking lot before heading to your car. Maybe you should keep this, you thought, looking at the riding crop in your hand. You definitely enjoyed this role. You smiled widely at the thought. You raised your head and stopped when you saw Jackson leaning against your car in the empty parking lot.

“Yes,” Jackson said, and your skin broke out in goosebumps from his deep voice.

"What?" you barely restrained yourself from retreating back from his imperious aura

“Will you give me a ride?” a smile barely touched the corners of his lips.

“Yes, of course,” you quickly unlocked the car, still confused by his presence. You got into the car, starting the engine. “Where should I take you?” You asked, heading towards the dressage area from the parking lot.

“To your home,” he said calmly

You slammed on the brakes and turned your head in his direction. But he looked completely calm, looking forward, without a shadow of the fact that he was joking now. You gripped the steering wheel knowing exactly what that meant. You hesitated whether you should refuse or just go home. You drove again, turning towards your house. You spent the entire journey in silence. But unlike Jackson, who looked relaxed, you were going crazy with your thoughts.

In the same silence you entered your house. “I’ll get you a drink,” you said, practically running towards the kitchen.

OMG!!!! You tried to calm down. You wanted to scream. What is the next? You rested your hands on the table. As it will be? This was your first time in such a situation and you absolutely didn’t know what to do. It was clear for what purpose you came here, but now that you were in the house... the reality scared you, although it also excited you just as much. Just go with the flow, you told yourself. Come what may! You took out a whiskey glass and filled it for Jackson. Maybe you should have a drink too? Although it’s better to be sober, you thought, returning the bottle to its place. You took a few deep breaths, trying to look calm before heading to the living room.

“You seem to like whiskey,” you said as you walked into the living room.

You froze with your mouth open as you entered the living room. Your hand dropped helplessly, pouring whiskey onto the floor. The glass slipped from your fingers, falling to the floor with a thud, just like your heart. You stared almost breathlessly at Jackson, who was slowly unbuttoning his shirt.

“Yes,” Jackson said throwing his shirt onto the sofa. “I would like you to seduce me.” You took a step back, leaning against the wall. You couldn’t trust your legs, which had turned into cotton wool.

“OMG,” you whispered, barely breathing when Jackson unzipped his pants. All this time he did not take his eyes off you. Continuing to calmly undress while standing in the middle of your living room. How can he be so calm when you are on the verge of madness, you thought.

Jackson took a step towards you and you wanted to take a step back, but you had already hit the wall. Jackson grinned, resting his hand on the wall next to your head. “Although I don’t mind being the one to seduce you at all,” Jackson ran his fingers along your neck, moving down to your breast along the edge of your dress.

“Oh my...” you exhaled again as your skin broke out in goosebumps.

Jackson laughed getting closer to your face “I don’t mind you called me that too” Jackson wrapped his arm around your waist pulling your body towards him.

You pressed your lips to him without waiting for his next step. He chuckled as he pushed you against the wall. It was not a kiss, but pure madness. It even seemed to you that you could pass out from overexcitation. Jackson turned you, pushing you to the edge of the table, forcing you to sit on it. Jackson knelt down, slowly running his fingers up your legs, spreading your thighs wide. “Now let me please you, my Mistress” he kept his gaze on you, leaving kisses on your thighs. A shudder went through your body when Jackson pressed his nose into your crotch, deeply inhaling your scent. His teeth lightly squeezed your clitoris through your panties, making you moan.

You wanted more, but Jackson was in no hurry, continuing to drive you crazy with his gentle caresses, “Apparently you want to be punished?” you gripped his hair, lifting his face up as he once again returned his kisses to your thighs.

“You can use this however you want,” Jackson said sticking out his tongue. You practically growled at his provocation. You grinned pushing him in the chest, forcing him to lie on the floor in front of you. You took off your panties, throwing them to the side.

  “As you wish,” you sent him a lecherous smile before sitting on his face. You moaned as he ran his tongue through your wet folds. You moved your hips causing his nose to rub your clit, increasing the pleasure of his tongue. You were so close, you began to move faster on his face, trembling with pleasure. Jackson's fingers squeezed your hips, helping you move faster. You fell forward, resting your hands on the floor as you came, breathing heavily with pleasure.

“Fuck that was so sexy,” Jackson growled, running his tongue along your crotch, making you tremble. Before you knew it, your back was on your table in a moment. “You taste so good I want to eat you all up,” you moaned loudly as Jackson dug in mouth into your pussy, pushing his tongue into your hole.

“Stop,” you gripped his hair.

His quiet laugh made my insides clench into knots with excitement. “Baby,” he raised his head, meeting your gaze. “You ask me to stop, but you press my face against your crotch,” he ran the tip of his tongue over your clitoris. “So, who should I listen to...” Jackson ran his fingers over your lips, pushing into your mouth, “your mouth or your body?” Jackson asked before sliding his tongue into your pussy again.

“Ooohhh god...” your back arched in pleasure. You blushed completely as he pressed your knees to your shoulders, spreading them wide, making you look so slutty. "What are you doing?" you moaned as Jackson continued to lick your entire crotch.

“You’re so open to my tongue, it’s hard to resist.”

You moaned loudly as he slid his tongue into your pussy again, stretching your folds with his fingers. “Please...” you practically whimpered in pleasure.

“What are you asking for, baby?” Jackson grinned, pushing two fingers of each hand into you. “Although whatever you ask, you are completely ready for it. Just look how greedily your pussy squeezes my fingers"

“Fuck,” you practically suffocated from the feeling of being full. You tried to pull away, to run away... but he didn’t give you even a hint of salvation... you swallowed loudly when Jackson threw his boxers aside. His big dick swayed as if welcoming you. Everything inside you was burning with the desire to feel him inside. You hissed when Jackson pulled out his fingers, pushing the head of his dick into your hole. You were just going crazy... You had never been so wet before. “Jackson” you moaned when he spanked him with his dick against your clit, sending an electric charge through your body. “Please... Please, Jackson.”

“Mmmm...baby you need to tell me exactly what you're asking for.” Jackson continued to tease you, moving his cock along your crotch, only slightly pressing the head on your hole.

“I want you to push your dick into my pussy!” you gripped his hair, pulling him closer to you. “And fucked me until you ran out of strength!”

“You asked for it yourself, then don’t complain!” Jackson growled with a grin. He pushed into you hard the entire length, making you scream from a mixture of pain and pleasure. You couldn’t even take the next breath from his hard thrusts. Less than 15 minutes and you were already barely restraining yourself with all your strength not to cum. Crazy, you weren’t even sure if it was just a phrase in your head or if you said it out loud.

“You're taking my dick so hard. Are you really ready to cum, and we haven’t even started yet?”

. . .

You opened your eyes as the sun completely filled your bedroom. And how did you end up here? Although... It seems you've also lost your voice... You couldn't count how many times Jackson made you cum... And even after that, he didn't stop until you lost consciousness... Although you weren't even sure if it made you cum... This is Jackson stop. You clearly overestimated your strength... and even more so underestimated Jackson. You trembled when, moving, you felt something inside you move. Only now did you realize that you were in Jackson’s arms, and his dick was still inside you. “fuck...” you chuckled at how hoarse your voice was.

“Mmm, baby, you're awake...” Jackson muttered sleepily, leaving a kiss on your shoulder.

“Why is your dick still inside?” you moaned, with every movement you made, his dick moved inside, becoming harder every second. You whimpered, the trembling in you causing pain in every muscle... You tried to pull away from him so that his dick would slip out of you.

“You asked me to fuck you until my strength runs out, but I still have too much of it...” Jackson again pressed your back to his chest, pushing his entire length back into you.

“Time out... Mercy... I beg for mercy!.. I still need to be able to walk, although now I can’t even move my little finger,” you whimpered with each of his slow and gentle thrusts.

“It’s not fair... I still have so many desires that I want to show you,” he frowned, sinking his teeth into your neck as you finally managed to roll onto your stomach, allowing his cock to slide completely out of you.

“If one of these desires is not my death, then let me sleep... until tomorrow, for example?” you trembled as he licked the spot where his teeth had been moments ago.

“How about one hour? I think this is the most I can give you." Jackson moaned, continuing to lick you.

“You are definitely crazy!”

"Congratulations!" Jackson laughed, hugging you. “From now on, you are the happy owner of this crazy!”

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More Jackson Wang

Autograph (fluff) 개새끼 (gaesaekki) (smut, agnst)

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LIST

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[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Hi Rose 💜 Weird question time! Do you have a favourite quote(s) from the series you've watched? Like, some sentence that got stuck in your head. I am looking at the empty wall in my room and feeling a very adult urge to just write something on it so I'm looking for inspirations.

No pressure though, it's just my head is completely empty and my memory is bad 😅

Hi Kat💜

So my memory is also terrible. A lot of the times I forget quotes really quickly. But I was thinking about this and going through the rolodex in my brain, and realized that I do remember lines from shows, but usually they aren't significant by themselves. Like for me it's a quote that brings me straight into the show again, like I'm seeing in my head and it's invoking the same feelings that I felt during the show. (also there's also the language thing, where I'm not always sure if I know exactly what they're saying so I'm always afraid of giving it weight for some reason)

Like for example. If I'm thinking of WDYEY, I think of onions, and chicken thighs. Specifically "I think I should use two chicken thighs", as said by Shiro. Because it makes me remember them instantly, and have the same feeling I had when I watched. Also lot of the times I think of bits of dialogue and not necessarily lines by itself. Like for instance in ULS when Hotae is talking to Donghee while cleaning and he says a bunch of things ending with something like "But that's all bullshit. Because when you can't endure something, then you just can't endure it."

So I don't know if these will help you, because although I think I could maybe put them on my wall or something, and it would be meaningful to me, I don't know if it would be the same for you.

But anyway, you asked and I will tell you some of my favourite lines, that I think of, when I remember certain shows. (these are from memory, so they might not be verbatim)

Light on me "Yesterday, today and tomorrow. I'll still be thinking about you" Shinwoo - this is of course an all time favourite.

Love Sick "It barely takes any time to fall in love, so why does it hurt so much to say goodbye?" Noh (I'm gonna stop at one with this one because I'd be here all day)

Gaya Sa Pelikula "Tell me a story Karl." & "I refuse to be a plot device that triggers somebody else's identity crisis only to be left alone in the end" & "Jesus is too forgiving to be a Capricorn" Vlad (yeah this show also had a lot that I like)

Kieta Hatsukoi "We don't have to be like everyone else" Ida

If it's with you "I think liking you might be good" Ryuji

Old Fashion Cupcake "Don't just be a part of my life. Please be my entire life" Togawa

To My Star "If it's too hard for you. I'll go to you." Seo Joon

We Best Love "Am I still the lucky one?" WBL 2 "You wanted to stay with me forever, but you didn't believe in my forever" Shu Yi

Theory of Love "Why Khai? Why are you still waiting" "I don't wanna love you anymore. It hurts" < I can hear this one in my head. Third

The Eighth Sense "I'm getting sick of wearing a mask" & "Let's try it together even if we're afraid" Jae Won (this one is another I'd have several)

Unintentional Love Story "I'll love you instead." Ji Won Young

I've not been able to really go look, because life, but I know I have more and if more come to me I'll let you know. I know there are a couple from kdramas I really like but for the life of me I can't remember them right now. The only one that comes to mind is from Navillera that it's just "Did you soar?" cause I get emotional just thinking about it.

Anyway since perhaps I'm not the best person for this particular thing, because I have a terrible memory and maybe because I'm more of a visual person when it comes to tv, I thought I'd open the floor to some people that might be able to help. So tagging some folks that might be able to contribute to your endeavour.

@lurkingshan @twig-tea @wen-kexing-apologist @bengiyo @hyeoni-comb (no pressure of course)

[neos-schlond-poofa]

rl donna beneviento hcs

because @scuba-gragas (your acc is NOT linking for some reason) freaked out over one of my edit captions and im like. why not share more sad stuff about donna! and also silly stuff in here too.

AND NO IM NOT PUTTING "ATTEMPTED BEFORE" IN HERE THIS IS NOT SOME SAD SOME RANDOM

repeating this from the edit but due to her tendency to remember numerous timelines, donna has even more of a SEVERE fear of being abandoned by mc and lacks a lot of self confidence in the relationship. she remembers mc being happy with the others, what if they did a better job than her? what if mc goes to them? or perhaps, what if the loop occurs and mc goes to someone else, and donna sees them just act happier? was she easily replacable?

however, sometimes donna DOES express her relationship anxieties and mc always does help out; its not all torment for donna, dont worry. as time goes on she always tries to be more open with mc about her feelings

okay back to sad. i imagine this happens to everyone but in their own way, but donna is a sleep hugger. so when she wakes up the day after the loop, shes hugging a pillow instead of mc and she just sits there for a bit. sometimes, she doesnt really get it, other times, she instantly knows what happened. she hates the feeling of waking up that morning and thinking she has someone in her arms, only to have an empty spot in her bed.

really good at claw machines. when angie was younger, she loved going to the arcade, and so donna mastered the art of claw machines to get angie a bunch of prizes (and sometimes herself).

invested in noise cancelling headphones / earbuds once she got with mc. she wears them a lot everywhere and even went to her first concert with them, it helps her not be overstimulated.

she hates herself for this, but part of her prays that mc stays with miranda after she has to wipe belas memories. she cant stand the thought of hurting her niece again in another loop.

would probably get a sims addiction, but specifically making sims.

plays relaxing video game soundtracks in the store (dani, angie, and mc often update the playlists)

she sells those fake flowers on april fools that shoot water at peoples faces.

loves to watch operas and ballets.

im struggling with wording this but like. when donna realizes the loop has occured she always just takes a bunch of time to prepare herself for whatever is going to happen, but ESPECIALLY knowing she has to murder someone for angie again. shes basically doomed to do this forever until mc gets with miranda; and i KNOW angie sometimes isnt a doll but. lets forget about that!! i just imagine shes always a doll anyways, it makes more sense that way, and either way, a loop where angie is fully human is just a temporary break for one of donna's many problems.

ethel cain stan

hates hospital shows for MANY reasons. she doesnt like seeing the hospitals first of all, she doesnt like seeing when the people die, and she hates the medical inconsistencies.

in loops where bela and mc have a family (sigh), she can't help but literally try to keep her distance. they won't have their family for long, and she cant bear to tell them that (although bela is most definitely aware) or even get attached to their baby, she doesn't want to lose someone close again (although bela does not catch onto this; she tries to get donna involved as opposed to alcina)

owns a typewriter

constantly has a tab of solitaire open on her laptop.

theres a picture of markiplier hidden in her room and she doesnt know it. angie hid it there and has been waiting for donna to find it. thing is? she hid it before the loop started. so it is permanently there for every loop.

always has really cutesy and simplistic halloween costumes she wears in her flower shop for the holiday. her favorite costume is a bee.

loves build-a-bear. it obviously takes her some time to get ready to go there (she often plans out their least busy times), but she loves to make her own plushes for her collection and buy them new clothes. eventually takes mc there for a date and they adopt a bear together.

but outside of that? she really hates getting new ones there during the loops. she gets really attached to them and she hates knowing they're only there for a short time.

kanoodle master.

hates the smell of nail polish

great hugger, even if she doesn't give them out that often.

owns a bunch of retro game consoles and likes to collect them, although she doesn't get much time to play them.

hates the bee movie; angie loves it

while mc obviously does open her eyes, donna still struggles with the concept of even trying to get better because she knows its all just going to loop. yes, she will work on things and they will improve, but certain things will revert back to normal after the loop anyways.

once tried to dance in the rain for fun and ended up getting a cold instead.

alright i think thats it... i might share more in the future but i tried to balance this with silly and sad.

[freebooter4ever]

I've been doing my best to stay up to date on the boots brainfog fatigue lore for a while and I have two things to say. First, I am so glad the antibiotics are working and helping you and you're able to somewhat pause your symptoms. And second, your story is so terrifying I had no idea anything like this could happen and I hope the saga ends soon with you going back to a normal livable life.

Apologies for the slow reply, it took me a while to come to grips with my story being used as a 'lore' example. Legit i sometimes forget that i have a lot more followers than just the ones who talk to me on a regular / semi regular basis. So thank you to anyone who is quietly watching this painful illness play out and rooting for me <3 i hope it ends up being a happy ending, though my depression right now is being a witch and telling me it wont. As i type right now my eyes are doing the '300 times more effort to focus' thing because i ate dinner an hr ago, and im slowly getting used to putting this much work into something as simple as writing but...gosh this is all exhausting.

I didnt know this could happen either, but i cherish all the friends and strangers who have gone through this or are going through this who immediately reached out to support me. I've met one guy in person who was a casual friend until now, but who is becoming one of the few people i can randomly text depressing symptoms to and just know he at least semi understands. He also promised to take me on his motorcycle the minute i get back into a physically stable condition so i at least have a carrot on a stick at the moment.

I have also had a lot of really really enlightening conversations with my grandma who has MS, and she's told me stuff about her own illness that I don't think she ever would have divulged to me if this hadn't happened. And I now almost understand why. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to complain about a symptom and then have a friend or loved one immediately counter with 'oh, i have that!' and then go into detail about how they handle it when their symptom is obviously fleeting and passing and much less intense. Also, there's certain people in my life who i just cant get to understand how this illness is connected to food. Every time their response is 'I'm sorry you feel bad, let me make you something to eat' and i have given up trying to explain, lol.

I think it's also important for me to note that although my blog has seen a lot of this drama that i shared...the WORST parts of it i have not posted because i simply dont know how to process or talk about it yet. And also most of the worst moments happened while with my friend G, and when I'm at their house I tend to not need social media so much.

The funniest part in all this - it took a month for me to become so terrified of food because of the intense pain/reactions after eating, that I don't miss food at all despite my diet being severely limited. I miss peanut butter, although my reaction to peanut butter is not so bad that i can't eat it sometimes (but not daily like i used to). Strangely enough, I don't miss bread at all, except I do miss the easy convenient calories bread provided so I could run/dance/exercise. There is only one thing I have been craving this entire month....this fucker from 85c:

I have dreams about this guy. I vividly remember the taste and texture and how it felt to bite into one. The joy of snacking on one in the California sun under the arroyo trees. I long to be able to eat it again ;_; But with how little food I've been able to eat, I can't afford to waste calories on anything that isn't packed with nutrition so :( no taro bun.

[zaceouiswriting]

Lost Love

Character: Derek Hale x male reader, Death/Dea (original) x male reader, mentioned Lydia Martin, Jackson Whittemore, and Eli Hale. (Scott never gets a mention)

Universe: Teen Wolf

Warnings: None

Authors note: Hello. I've finally dealt with another request, (Only three months after receiving it, I'm really late with my requests) and well, I may have to apologize. I had a lot of creative issues with it, from the timeline to all of the characters that were supposed to be involved. I might also forget a character, but since it's been three months, I don't feel like rewriting everything again. So I’m sorry @arekmaximoffkq but I hope you can enjoy it anyway.

"We can't win this alone!" That was a statement no one would have ever expected from their fearless True Alpha. No one ever thought that Scott McCall could feel hopeless by a threat. That was until the Legions of Darkness and the Hunters under Monroe, who could never be stopped, made a pact. It was a fragile one considering the Legions are supernaturals.

Either way, they found a common enemy. Scott McCall. Although the Legions have made massive strides to dominate the world, beginning in North America, he causes them too many problems with his alliance network.

"Before anyone says anything, I've already asked the Asian Dragons Alliance and United European Tribes, but apart from a few smaller groups within them, they can't help us much. They also fight the Legion on their continents.”

"We've never lost to anyone, Scott. Why should it be any different this time.”

"Because he's not here anymore, Liam." Derek was the one who reminded everyone of what had happened nearly fifteen years ago.

The room went silent from one moment to the next. A deadly atmosphere hung over their heads. Liam couldn't understand what was happening. He never understood when his pack went silent like this after something remembered them about someone he never got to know.

Lydia was the only one who never looked as sad as the others, she always did her best to look that way, but if people watched her closely, they could tell the subtle difference. She was also the only one who offered to help Liam and the other people who weren't around at the time.

Everyone accepted, even if it was just about getting out of the room. In Scott's kitchen, she was surrounded by a larger group, all staring at her, desperate for answers. And she told the tragic story. About her husband being possessed by a Nogitsune, causing him to more or less kill several people.

Scott had saved his girlfriend Allison but instead damned Derek's fiancé. The sword intended for the archer pierced the older man who was there only to protect the youths. Before Derek could reach him, his body dissolved, hatred in his eyes as he died. But worse, it didn't save Allison for long because just moments later, as she nocked another arrow on her bow, she was stabbed from behind and died in Scott's arms.

Since then, Derek hasn't been able to look Scott directly in the eye without wanting to kill him. Instead of just one death that day, there were two. And one of those deaths was so much more important than the other. Allison was just a formidable archer but useless in the long run. Even Lydia had to admit that as her best friend.

Derek’s fiancé - a powerful mage - did everything for them, protecting and even making sure that the threats they faced never got out of control.

To say the next generation wasn't impressed would be an understatement. They always looked up to Scott, his supposedly strong moral compass. But now they knew his true intentions; selfishness.

Lydia knew from day one you saw Scott for the vile person he actually is. She only saw it after a few years of being separated from him. Being under the same roof with him now made her sick. She could only see her best friend's dead face and Derek's broken face.

Now more and more people have been able to see it, although it doesn't change anything because Scott is still their Alpha. But at least now they know that most of his decisions are selfish and not for the greater good.

"So what can we do?" Mason asked Lydia, slowly getting restless himself.

The look she gave him, and the whole group spoke all the necessary words. "I don't think we can do anything. We can only hope it doesn't get any worse."

Lydia should never have said those words. Mere days later, the sudden appearance of the Oni, quickly followed by the Nogitsune they thought had been killed, and then someone who broke their fragile pack even more apart.

She had no choice but to get help herself.

With the rest of the pack still at home, Scott tried to keep everything together while getting his Allison back. Lydia was in Jackson's car with him and his husband. "Who are you looking for anyway? I thought the supernatural council already told Scott we couldn't help."

But she said nothing. Not ready to say anything.

Ethan had the idea right away, but his husband didn't. Jackson kept nudging Lydia. To the point where his husband put his hand over his babbling mouth before Lydia would overturn the car.

They spent the rest of their journey in absolute silence until they came to a private road. "Please wait here. Don't follow me, and please don't ruin this, okay?" Without even waiting for an answer, she exited the car.

As she walked up the street in high heels, her arrival could be heard far out. She never intended to be secretive, which worked well enough for her.

She could feel the heavy air everywhere, filled with so much raw magical power that she kept marveling that the animals that lived there didn't suffocate. For example, she never had trouble breathing, but once she got there, she could never take a single proper breath.

“If this is not Lydia Martin. We haven’t seen each other in a couple of years!“ Your voice suddenly called out to the banshee. Already used to your antics, she turned around but could not see you immediately. “Turn around again.“

And she did, slowly, but she did. With a big smile, you stood before her, a crown of flowers with red and white roses, without thorns in your hands. Without hesitation, you crowned her again as you normally do whenever she comes by.

"You never change, do you?"

"Nope." With another big smile, you pulled Lydia into your arms. "It's so nice to see you again!" After their brief hug, he put her arm around his. "Now tell me why you are here. Our next meeting was only a few months away.”

Lydia would have been a fool to think you didn't smell the need for her to come to you so early. She was many things, but stupid wasn't one of them.

"A lot of things happen, and I know you don't like it when I talk around, so I'll just ask you. Could you come and-"

"Dad!" The panicked voice of one of your sons jerked you away from Lydia. Before you could react, however, your two sons stood before you and Lydia, with someone you knew and someone you didn't. "We found these intruders and- Aunt Lydia, what are you doing here?"

"You two have grown." She was utterly surprised to see them standing so tall, which made her slightly uneasy, knowing she would have many questions that the man she was meeting would most likely won't like.

Luckily Jackson - who was brought by one of my sons - was doubled-over from feeling sick because of the teleportation.

Shaking your head in amusement, you couldn't hold back your snarky thought: "Jackson, are you still not used to this?" Your voice froze him in his tracks.

Slowly, very slowly, almost scarily he raised his head, his eyes though still fixated on the floor. Standing almost straight again he still did not dare look at you. Lydia told him that he could and with her reassurance he finally did. His eyes quickly filled with tears as he locked them with yours. His baby-blue eyes shimmered with shock but in a happy way.

Without warning, he lunged forward at a pace neither your sons nor you could do anything about. He pulled you into his arms, much more muscular than you remembered. Now he feels and looks a lot like a young Derek. Thinking about him always made you sad, which not only your sons felt this time.

Only Jackson was apparently unaware of this. "This is Ethan, my husband!" he told you excitedly, smiling cheek to cheek, ignoring the fact that you were not dead and standing still alive in front of him.

You gently cupped his face, which now looked much older than yours. Just another curse of your existence. "I will meet your handsome husband in a moment. But before, how are you and your parents?" His face darkened. "You forgot what you promised me, didn't you?" Shame crossed his face for a short moment. He became the little boy you met when you moved to Beacon Hills, who just found out he was adopted again.

You saved him from getting hit by a car, talked to him, and brought him back to his parents in the evening. For years you tried to get him to see them for who they are; but you were unsuccessful. You finally got through his thick skull, but you died before Jackson, his parents, and you could meet again.

"Then we must do it soon. They are not getting any younger and deserve to be loved by you. After all, they raised you. But I also have to blame them for spoiling you little shit!” You jokingly shook his head with your hands, ruffling his perfect hair. It eventually brought a small smile to his face.

Booping his nose brought back many sweet memories with little Jackson and even moody teenager Jackson. Slowly you pulled your hands away from him. In the same movement, he turned and looked at the other man, who finally rose from his slouching position.

"Ethan is your name, right?" you asked in a dangerously low voice that sent a cold sweat down his son's back. He nodded and swallowed hard. "I think this little rascal over here told you about me?" You glanced back and forth at the couple with a raised eyebrow.

"My big brother," Jackson whispered to his husband to refresh his memory. Suddenly, Ethan's eyes widened with shock and realization.

His body suddenly went stiff. He even held out his hand to most likely properly greet you. 

“Hey, little brat?“

“Yes?“

"How come you've got not only a handsome man but also a well-mannered one while still being the same obnoxious brat?"

He could see your cheeky, teasing grin that had torn holes in his heart so many times before, believing the hurtful things you said until you made it clear it wasn't meant like that.

However, Ethan knew nothing about it.

"Because Jackson is an amazing man, passionate, gentle, romantic-"

"He didn't mean it like that. He complimented us both."

"What? He attacked you!"

Both Jackson and you looked at each other, giggling at his words. "Brat is my nickname for him because that's what I called him the first we met. He is and remains obnoxious to me because although he has a hard, unfriendly demeanor on the outside, he has a heart of gold. I'm just glad he hasn't changed."

Horror filled Ethan's eyes as you explained the rather adorable things you had to say about his husband. You could see that he wanted to fall into a hole right then and there.

Without a word, you suddenly stood before him and put one of your hands on his cheek. "If you hurt my little boy, I will kill you and destroy your body on a molecular level, dissolve you, and destroy every memory anyone ever had of you, understood?"

At first, he seemed amused by the innocuous-sounding threat, but when he looked into your eyes, he knew it wasn't a joke. Eyes wide, you pulled him into a hug. "Welcome to the family!" In your arms, you whispered something else in his ear, a threat he couldn't ignore, but you made sure no one else could hear.

As you pulled away smiling, Jackson smiled too without looking at his husband, who looked pale, horrified at you.

"Now, can someone explain why you're all here?"

“Scott needs your help.“

"No." You turn and motion for your boys to come with you. Even though they were intrigued by the name Lydia mentioned, they followed you anyway.

"We need your help," Jackson pointed out. Looking into your eyes melted your heart a little, but you still couldn't.

With gentle eyes, you looked at the boy who was like a little brother to you. You still had to say it, even though you didn't want to: "No. I'm sorry, but I can't." 

Jackson's face twisted, hurt at my refusal to help him. "If you had asked me, I would have done it immediately, but not with this boy and possibly the man who let me die." Suddenly the ground shook under your words, and time flew by, just for you to reverse it again.

"No one would be safe without your help!" Lydia tried again, but you waved your hand and teleported her back to their vehicle. Your boys wanted to know what it was about, but you couldn't tell them. They only know the bare minimum, and you want it to stay that way.

Days went by without Lydia trying to contact you again. You have feared for the safety of those who have been good to you, but you cannot save them every time they get into trouble. You were working on the ranch when you felt something strange.

One moment you were standing in one of the barns, and the next at the edge of your property. "What do you two are doing there?"

Your sons were jumping around in utter fear. One of the few rules they have to follow is that they can't leave the property without you.

"We have to help them!" the elder twin said bluntly while his younger brother had his eyes on the floor.

"You want to see your father, don't you?" That question silenced him immediately. "Don't worry. He won't die. He's like a cockroach. He comes out of everything with a few little bruises and maybe a few wounds.”

But they were determined to help Scott's pack. You could see it in his eyes and later even in his brother's eyes when he finally looked up at you. When they saw your eyes glow purple, magical energy flowed around you, and a moment later, the bubble that kept the ranch hidden from supernatural beings. It as well saved it from natural disasters.

They stared at you in surprise as your eyes went back to normal. "Then go. But not with all your abilities. You can teleport to them but not back or anywhere. Your powers will be minimal."

After that, you just disappeared, hurt, disappointed, and proud simultaneously. Being able to feel your boys teleport away, a strange pain immediately filled your chest. At first, slowly, and then suddenly, you winded in pain. Somehow able to suppress it, you walked back into your house, taking a book out, trying to just forget about it.

Just a sentence in, you were unable to concentrate anymore. For minutes you just stared at the filled pages before you threw it away, awaiting to hear it land on the floor.

All the alarm bells went off in your head at once because that sound never came. Ready to rip some heads off, you were suddenly frozen in place. "Finally, we meet again!"

"That's impossible!" you called out loudly through clenched teeth. "I killed you!"

Suddenly there was a child in front of you and next to him a middle-aged man. "You killed one of us and we want his powers back, you filthy mortal!"

The child was about to touch you. His small hand was outstretched to do whatever he wanted to you when suddenly a spear pierced his head. Blood splattered everywhere. Gasping in shock, he fell to the ground and disappeared. Only to reappear shortly thereafter. "I am the past! You cannot kill me!" Anger emanates from the small body, much more than a child should be able to feel.

You had an intense desire to contest this but believed it might be a while before you would find something that could actually kill this spoiled brat.

In complete contrast stood the middle-aged man. "We just want grandfather time back. After that, we'll leave you alone... forever."

Anger surged back through your body, reminding you of how they tried to erase your existence multiple times, the first being right at your birth. "No!" you told him after lashing out with your powers and destroying his body in no time.

"You'll see," the same middle-aged guy suddenly told you from the other side. “Maybe you can kill my son, the past because the past is quickly forgotten. And maybe even my father because the future hasn't been written yet." Out of nowhere, without you even feeling him move, he leaned in with his mouth next to your ear. "I am the present, omnipresent, unkillable except when the universe implodes in on itself."

The anger you were feeling did not subside. It even became worse, as his words felt like a looming threat to you. „What if I kill your son as well? Wouldn’t I be the controller of the present, through manipulation of past and future?“

The man smiled for the first time. "You're a lot smarter than I thought." After that, his voice softened a lot. "I allow you to keep the future, but use it wisely. You are a part of me now, and I am one of you, don't risk the balance of nature. At least no more than you have already done. You perversion of nature!"

You fell over as time worked again and lay on the floor while the middle-aged man crouched in front of his arms on his thighs. "You and your sons are abominations, an error of a magical nature. Therefore, in order to have the foresight of future events will be useful, but you must protect the universe with your power and that of your children! If not, we will find a way to kill you like we did the one who freed people's minds giving them absolute freedom."

Now that a real threat was being uttered, chills ran through your blood went cold – almost as cold as ice – you could already tell that his words were not empty.

You agreed with him. Though you knew you were powerful, you doubted there was any chance for you to win against something or someone so fundamental to the workings of the universe itself.

He smiled at you. A smile so malicious that fear was no longer the right word; you were horrified by this man. Somehow he must have sensed this because he turned to his son: who glared at you but took his father's hand.

They disappeared suddenly and without a trace; no magic, not even a smell.

Startled by this event, you fell back in your seat, exhausted and angered by your passive behavior. Maybe it was finally time to show everyone just how powerful you really are and not just give them some showings of lesser magical abilities you harbor. But where?

The pain that was gone came back a thousand times stronger than before. A scream so high you thought your vocal cords would eventually tear apart came out of you. It felt like your heart was exploding into a million pieces.

In a panic, you suddenly found yourself in a school that you had to attend many times considering you were - under normal circumstances - still would be, the mother figure of a pack of supernaturals.

Only now, you see older versions of all the teens you helped grow, broaden their horizons, and more. They fight the same enemy you died against. Right in the middle were your children - they were more of a hindrance than a real part of the struggle. Without much of their powers, they are almost useless.

You were watching the fight, but soon a girl - the cause of your death - snuck up behind the group and your sons.

You watched wide-eyed as she put an arrow in her bow, drew it, and let it fly. Your eyes followed the line of it exactly. As you realized where it would end up, a burning hatred began to flare in your veins. Not only was she the cause of your death, but now she was after your children?

A burst of raw magical energy shattered the illusion of the time - in which you were being held. With the smell of revenge in your nostrils and the tingling in your fingers, your scene changed again, only this time it was your own doing.

***

How can that be? Where did these two guys come from? And why do they look so like... him? My mind was racing as two boys about eighteen suddenly shoved Eli and me out of the way of danger, and then their hands glowed in that familiar color.

With only a few movements of their hands, they threw away the Onis with absolute ease. It reminded me even more of him. Honestly, everything reminds me of him, especially these days. Watching Eli grow up didn't make it any better. Maybe he would have stayed, even after what I did. But no, I had to be selfish and believe that she would stay with me.

Before I could ask them if they knew of him, they had summoned magic to forge weapons and engaged the Onis in sword fights.

Soon most of the Onis came to their comrade's aid and pushed both boys to their limits. First, their magic began to flicker before it just…disappeared.

As I watched them fight against those who had killed my one true love, I had this strange feeling, as if it was my duty to protect these young men as if they were my own flesh and blood.

"Get out of the way!" The boys only looked at me in shock, not moving at all. It forced Eli to suddenly transform, to push the other boys to the ground. Even though no blood was spilled or flesh pierced, my heart stopped even thinking that any of the three might have been injured.

Just as I wanted to scold my son, I froze in place, seeing the light-breaking shine of the sword rushing down.

A growl escaped my dry lips, my sore throat already dying, but not even that could stop the Oni from its hatred-filled attack against the three.

Since my body was too weak to move, even as a werewolf, I became too tired after hours of fighting. I could only watch as my son, the only good thing in my life that I ended up doing, would die right before my eyes.

Tears were already welling up in my eyes as the sword went deeper and deeper, now piercing his skin.

A sudden burst of violet light blinded me from seeing the death of my only loved one left. Screaming his name on a tongue that scolded and disciplined him more times than was necessary. I couldn't hold back my tears over the death of my son! He had to die without being able to see me: his father. Even though I was the worst father imaginable, I was still his father. Not being able to comfort my son in his last seconds of life will be the second worst experience of my life. It was hard enough living without the light of my life. But without my son? I could make my own life there!

"Don't go near my sons, you hellspawn!"

I... I know that voice! That voice... so soft and yet stern at the same time, it put all my hair up almost immediately.

I could only hear its magic crackling and things colliding. I could only imagine what had happened. But slowly, very slowly, the blindness - from the bright light - wore off. From blurred eyes, I saw a silhouette fighting like a monster against the real monster attacking us.

"Are you both all right?" His voice again, his beautiful voice. "I warned you, outside of the bubble, you will not be able to use your full power. As my sons, your powers are immeasurable. Therefore, it will take time and discipline to unlock your abilities again!” 

Hearing his voice scolding these young men and calling them his "sons" almost broke me. They seem so old! How is that possible? Did he have these kids before we met?

Before I could ask, however, I felt a burning pair of eyes on me and saw one of the twins pointing at me. When his eyes met mine, it was as if I hadn't been dazzled by his striking entry: my eyes could take in all of him. I could see its raw beauty right in front of me. He never had to do anything to look good, but now? He was gorgeous, just as young as I had met him.

But his eyes didn't show me the same love as they used to. There was disgust and anger in them instead. Of course, I deserve both, but it still hurt me.

"Dad, are you okay?" Even though I've never treated Eli the way he deserves, he still cares about me, which made my heart skip a beat.

"Dad? How old are you?" My veins turned cold, freezing even, hearing the angry voice of my true love. I just realized that if he knew Eli's age, he would know the whole truth.

At first, Eli didn't realize he was being addressed like the clueless boy he always was. It warmed my heart a bit. But soon, he must have felt the twinkling eyes on him because he turned and asked his question again. Eli, almost forced to speak now, looked at me confused, almost scared, but I nodded, not wanting to know what he would say or do.

"I-I'm fifteen, s-sir."

Sir? Eli was never that well-behaved or reclusive person who respects strangers.

His eyes widened instantly, and the anger turned to pain as his hand flew over his heart, pinched his skin, and even a tear found its way to the corner of his eye.

"Who was it, Derek?" He was speaking to me, speaking directly to me, and I could hear him! But does that mean... he's alive? 

Just now, realizing that I wasn't actually hallucinating, I nearly shit my pants lying on the floor, bruised and sore.

"Who did you cheat on me with? Fifteen years..."

There was no way I could lie to him again as I had so many years ago. "It was Breadon."

"Are you serious?" There was only disappointment in his eyes, and I could only feel the same. I feel ashamed of myself every day. Even though Eli came out of it, I still feel terrible.

"She died ten years ago. But she left right after the birth, leaving Eli and me alone. I thought if you weren't there, my heart would be hers. But we soon realized that neither of us loved the other, and I didn't date anyone else after..." A lump in my throat kept me from spilling out everything I could think of.

"You betrayed me? Let me die like I didn't mean anything?" He could hardly contain his anger but did his best, most likely for his sons and not for me. "You know what the funniest thing is? I was so in love with you that I would have forgiven you for cheating on me and getting a woman pregnant."

It was like a dagger piercing my heart when I heard that. Hearing those words of love once more, I realized in the next moment that my life could have been so much sweeter with that man. A man so deeply in love with me to forgive the worst betrayal of all.

***

When you saw Derek again, you felt a sudden outburst of hatred, but hearing that his life was so bad made it... subside, just like that. He's a lot worse off than you are now. It gave you a kind of satisfaction you never knew you needed.

"Get up, you pathetic man, and fight. I won't do it all by myself." Derek looked up in surprise when you spoke to him in a disgusting tone like that. "As I did with the hunters and the Legion of Darkness!" you mumbled softly afterward.

Derek stared at you in absolute shock. He knew you were strong fifteen years ago, but this?

A hiss came out of nowhere. A tone Derek and all other werewolves know all too well. You heard it often before as well. Far away was someone you knew should be dead. The arrow she released was in line with you. Without even trying to get out of the way, use your magic to surround the projectile to deflect it in a different direction or stop it mid-air. 

Knowing this was the only way it could go: you turned back to Derek. Only for the arrow to pierce your shoulder. It only got stopped by your bone.

For a second, you were shocked, only to feel the dark magic of another being. The Nogitsune - a powerful spirit - could not simply be killed, as you now know.

“Hmm… I should have been prepared for that. After all, his disgusting smell is all over this damn place!”

"Dad, what are you talking about?"

"That stupid Nogitsune. As always, Scott can't do anything right.”

Just as Derek opened his mouth, you stared at him, effectively silencing him before he could even utter a single sound.

"Huhu... Death, where are you?" Your voice sweet as sugar. Your sons already know this sound, and Derek did it too. Only Eli was confused, but even he broke out in a terrible sweat. "Do I have to go up there and beat your ass again?"

Just as your threat sounded, an extremely low chuckle could be heard from somewhere. A smile graced your beautiful face when you heard it.

"I think you got it the wrong way around." His heavy footsteps echoed through the school corridors.

"Uncle Dea!" your two sons shouted and jumped into the man's arms.

He laughed heartily at this warming gesture; A six-foot and seven-inch-tall man was tall enough for your two boys to hold on to, and his muscular torso, wrapped in a himation - white lose clothes - showed off his big, muscular pecs and his eight-pack. In your eyes, he was and always will be the most handsome man in any world or realm.

Soon he was pulling your sons away, his eyes fixed on you. "What did I do to annoy you this time, sweetheart?" His deep bass voice is so dark it sends shivers down your spine. He slowly moved towards you while your knees were already weakening. "It's so nice to see you again after all these years."

"I'd say the same thing... if there wasn't someone you promised me the last time we saw each other is dead and in heaven." Irritated, especially by your disrespectful tone, he slightly angled his head, almost as if he wanted to warn you. But as he followed your outstretched index finger, his eyebrows suddenly jumped up in confusion.

"What the hell is she doing here? Her soul should be at peace!” he muttered angrily to himself as a book appeared in his hand. As he flipped through it, more and more arrows flew in your guy's direction. Strangely enough, your magic still couldn't protect you from them. All you guys could do was evade them.

Until the atmosphere suddenly changed, darkness blossomed from a place where you only knew warmth. Death glowed in that atmospheric-changing darkness, ready to devour all life.

"Someone stole her soul and gave her a new body!" he roared loudly, his voice deafening, exploding all the windows and even doors around us. It even threw Allison off balance, forcing her to the ground and snapping her bowstring.

"Can you do something about it?"

"Do I look like a wizard?" After a moment's pause, his dark eyes met yours, "Don't answer that, or I'll have to spank you later."

An angry blush appeared on your face. "Not like a wizard, but a really hot farmer, at least with the scythe."

His dark eyes swallowed you whole; it was pure lust, but deep down, also love. "Even if your god were still alive, not even he would be able to save you from me when I get you later alone." He licked his plump lips, causing an immense lump to form in your throat, making it impossible for you to breathe effectively. "But I can't do anything at the moment. Someone has to kill the body the hunter girl is in before I can take her soul this time, so she can never be reborn.”

Cracking your fingers and neck, your eyes were solely on the huntress. Knowing that only you would kill that bitch, because everyone else is riding Scott’s dick, trying to make this joke of an Alpha happy.

Before you could cast a single spell at her, the same useless Alpha had his claws rammed into your chest. Determination in his eyes as you two looked at each other, on eye level.

"No!" suddenly, a familiar voice sounded behind you. In a flash, dark hair pushed Scott away from you. His claws ripped from your chest before the Alpha had a chance to crush your heart.

Breathing heavily in pain, you bend over to hide the true extent of the pain. "Dad!"

"Don't worry. I'm okay. Angry, but okay." You smiled at your two sons, who immediately came to your side, each holding an arm. Just then, you glanced over at them. "Lydia? Jackson? If any of you ever come to me to ask for another favor and still be associated with Scott... you'll wish you had jumped into lava because the death you would suffer at my hands will even make the devil blush! "

Lydia has known for a long time that you hated Scott, and over time she realized that your hatred was not unfounded. Especially after Stiles' death, which was also his fault, leaving her with two young children, the last born a month after her husband's tragic death.

Jackson wasn't even a part of the McCall Pack, but as an old ally and somewhat friend to the 'True Alpha‘ he still does his bidding if asked nicely.

They both looked at each other, their friendship still there, even after all these years. They talked silently before nodding at each other. They quickly switched from Scotts' side to yours.

In all honesty, you knew these two would come to your side before you even issued that ultimatum. Especially Jackson. If he didn't already know, he would soon learn that you've always taken care of him.

"Please, look after my boys. I'll take care of this devil spawn!” Allison was Lydia's best friend. You knew it was hard for her, but she had cried after her long enough. She's a smart cookie and aware that Allison is dead, and it isn't okay that she is back, especially not for nature, to which Lydia is close herself.

Using your magic, you lifted yourself into the air and flew to where Allison was last seen.

But when you got there, only her ruined bow was left. Before you could react, a knife was in your thigh. Groaning in pain, you pulled out the dagger and threw it at her, only hitting the wall behind her. Because she was already gone again, cursing under your breath, you began to search for her again.

A massive salvo of knives hit you quickly, your entire left side being scratched, punctured, or sliced open by them.

At that point, you had it with these games. You jumped from room to room with your powers and found them soon enough. With your magic around her neck, you imprisoned her; Before you could finish her little game by killing her stolen body, someone or something pulled her back and cut off the magic holding Allison in place. You were confronted with a being that had once been human, mummified, but it was still obvious.

You were the only person who could fight the Nogitsune. In your opinion, Stiles was always useless, but you have to give him one thing: he was an intelligent guy and the only one who could outwit a dark being like this. Without him, only you and your brute strength could be an enemy to him.

Meanwhile, the others tried to capture Allison despite her being faster, smarter than ever, and most horrifically deadlier.

"I swear by all the dead gods, if Scott had ever been responsible enough to kill his damn enemies, none of this bullshit would ever have happened!"

With renewed anger, even hatred, seething so deep in your soul that something strange happened, something painful.

Your magical core, which many people call 'soul' exploded, not in a destructive but an opening way as if nature had accepted your requests and could finally see the value in your existence.

Even the dark being, fueled by hatred, fear, and anger, suddenly became afraid. Your son's, just as you experienced something similar. Their eyes glow a purple hue, just like yours. But unlike you, their other side - they inherited from your ex-fiancé - has broken away from the many walls you built inside them.

For the first time in fifteen years of their lives, they transformed. The boys knew they could have done that from birth because of their vast magical abilities. But as they did so, the walls around them crumbled with their enormous size.

At that moment, you pulled yourself out of your pain and helped your sons control their magic that could shatter the very fabric of existence. Although slightly smaller, they are still at least five times larger than a regular wolf. In unison, they howled loudly, startling the nogitsune even more and making it tremble with terrible fear. You gathered magic in a ball of violet energy and threatened the dark being that tried to flee but failed this time. As it slowly began to warp into the shadows, you blocked the shadow, isolating it from everything else. Shocked, the Nogitsune tried to escape, but the magic-like handcuffs pulled on all four of his limbs.

"What must I do to keep you away from the mortal realm?" you asked him, sighing heavily. You looked away from that for a second, mostly for dramatic effect, over to Dea. Strangely, he pointed to where the Nogitsune was. But when you looked back, he was gone again. "Are you fucking SERIOUS?" Your voice echoed loudly through the school hallways, alerting everyone that something was beyond wrong.

Pissed off, you were going to blow up the whole building. But out of nowhere, the younger of your twins pulled something out of a shadow. A leg. But only one leg, not the whole dark being, but at least part of it.

Frantically, the leg tried to get out of his sharp teeth, but your son held it tight and carried it over to you with a toothy doggy grin.

Instead of pulling it out, you put it in a purple magic prison. Separate it from his body. Immediately after that, it stopped moving but stayed there. Although it was no longer bound to his body, it still existed.

It wasn't long before your younger son was carrying Allison, also in his mouth, mauled by him. A gasp could be heard from the sidelines, a hurt, irritated one. "If you dare touch one of my sons, Scott, I will maim you in ways you can't even imagine!" You didn't even look at him, but your voice told him the threat was real and near. So he quickly withdrew.

Your son threw Allison to your feet; her body was bleeding badly. "Finally, I can do what was supposed to happen!" Without guilt, you formed a sharp weapon in your hand and raised your arm to strike. As the blade swung through the air, but you had to stop as Scott jumped in front of his ex-girlfriend. You weren't shocked at all. He built everything around her, and she is with him now. Jumping from girl to girl, even dating his former best friend's ex-girlfriend, like a cliché player in romantic high school movies.

Instead of killing her, you sliced him with the blade. He cried out in agony as his skin began to burn slightly. “It won't heal, Scott. Any cut I give you with this blade that might heal will leave permanent scars.”

But he didn't seem to care because he stood there, teeth clenched. So you slashed him again and again... and again. You soon found yourself enjoying causing pain to this narcissistic little boy who never grew up.

"My love!" His deep voice finally snapped you out of your crimson thoughts of revenge. Dea's hand on your shoulder, his eyes looking at you with concern.

A slightly embarrassed blush rose to your cheeks. You averted your eyes far from him. But he pulled you into his arms. As you began to sob softly, your two sons came to your side and wrapped Dea and you in their united arms. Warmth, a happy and hopeful warmth, welled up in your broken heart.

When all eyes were on your little family, even the pain and jealousy of your first love, no one heard the bloody gasp at your side. Not even you until you felt something drip down your arm. Looking slightly down, there was a red substance. As your eyes looked around some more, you found the origin.

Scott sat up, his mouth bloody and a blade sticking out of his body, piercing his heart. "The mage is right. You really should have killed me when you had the chance!" An ominous chuckle followed those words.

Your eyes widened in shock as they flew toward the magical prison. Only one leg remained from the bandaged leg: a female leg. As your eyes darted back to Allison, you could see her skin slowly peeling off, revealing the Nogitsune.

When you tried to hit it with your magic sword, it disappeared. Leaving its blade pierced in Scott's chest. But you didn't give a damn; his alpha status should never have happened anyway. Maybe now someone more worthy could be elevated to this status.

At that moment, there was something more urgent. Telepathically, you told your sons to look for the real Allison. It didn't take long for them to find her: hiding behind some desks. But they just howled, which meant they couldn't carry her, so you walked past the dying Scott into the classroom and closed the door.

Soon you came out again, not a hair out of place. “Our work is done here. Lydia, Jackson, and even Ethan, you know where to find us. I'd be happy to host you whenever you want. Maybe next Christmas?” Ignoring Scott, who made his death so melodramatic.

Before you could leave, however, Derek pulled you aside. "Why didn't you ever tell me I had children?"

"Why didn't you ever tell me you cheated?" I stared at him for an answer. "Of course, no answer. Due to my short death, I had to put more magical energy into them. Their bodies became too weak to sustain the immense magical pressure. I had to kill one of the three gods of time to force their bodies to age to keep them alive. I suffered great pains to give birth and keep them alive. Now they look like eighteen-year-old men but are actually only fifteen. I'll keep them sealed for another three years, then if they want to have contact with you, they can. But I won't."

"Neither will we." your two boys said in unison as they look at their father in disgust.

It brought a smile to your face. As you teleported back up with your sons, you looked at Derek one last time. "I wanted to tell you the day I died. At least the blade cutting me down showed me the real you. I hope you never find love again and die despised by most.”

Before that day, you never told your sons what happened, only that something happened that forced you to get away from their father. You always wanted them to form their own picture of their father.

He tried to grab you, but luckily you got away just in time. Derek stayed there, his hand grasping air.

"Three more years... I have to train more people to be able to retire by then and finally marry this man!" Death himself murmured softly. It immediately caught Derek's attention. "Oh, I am sorry. The man you cheated on and I've been with for several years. I fell in love with him when he won against me: the first time anyone's won, for that matter. At least I'd never betray him.” The smug grin on Death's ice-cold face had been enough to make Derek wince in fear.

Unfortunately, you didn't witness his fear of your one true love: a man, an otherworldly being just like you. But no matter how much you despise Derek, you will forever be grateful for your relationship with him for giving you your two beautiful boys.

However, for now, you will most likely have to cuddle them to make the day's horrible events go away.

[Masterlist]

[gaspshichat]

we have a very long post again so i can bet y'all know who this is about. that's right. pearl appreciation post

it's a little more vent-y than i wanted bc i do talk about what's wrong with me and the things going on with my weird messed up body so please be careful of that. if you want to skip all of that, there is a big bolded red label titled "appreciation part"

i talked about my sun allergy on pearl's stream today and she asked what happened to me in the sun. i've spoken a little on the things wrong with me [although i don't go into too much detail bc i don't want to burden or worry pearl/chat more than i already do] so she does know a thing or two about me

(transcription: um, thank you for the ten bitties, gasps! "i get really bad sunburns that blister with severe rashes." *pained* ooh. "can't be outside for more than five to ten minutes without severe pain. that's why i work nights and have a night schedule." oh my gosh. that must be super difficult, gasps. i'm sorry that you have to deal with that! wow. you- you've got like- the world is not kind to you, i feel like. um. there's- there's so many things that you go through and- my gosh. i hope- i hope- i hope you're doing okay. that's a lot to deal with, though. that is a lot to deal with)

[also, side note. every time pearl calls me gasps i half expect her to call me vyren aka my name even though it would startle me if she randomly did one day. i forget she most likely doesn't know it or how to pronounce it lmao. it's vie-ren, not veer-in]

there's a line from that that keeps replaying in my mind just over and over again

"the world is not kind to you, i feel like"

i just keep repeating it because it's true. the world is not kind to me and i've spoken a little about this. i'll never be healthy or okay and never even had the chance. i was destined the life i live

watching pearl's streams and videos and chatting in her discord server help me forget all of that. i can pretend i'm not sick, that my bones don't scrap together, that the fever is gone [hell, sometimes i can pretend it was never there]. for four hours three times a week, i can pretend

every time i have a health update, pearl always tells me she hopes i get better or at least get an improvement. i always appreciate these moments and hold them close bc despite the fact that i cannot get better, they mean a lot

i'm getting blood tests hopefully in three months to see if i have one disorder. the disorder is incurable and genetic unfortunately. if i do have the disorder [almost 100% likely], we'll see if the meds help with me being sick

[APPRECIATION PART]

pearl, if you end up seeing this, thank you so much for everything. thank you for reading every bits message people send, thank you for spreading positivity, thank you for having a true safe space, thank you for your get well wishes, thank you for being genuinely kind, thank you for just being a good person, thank you for caring, thank you for remembering, thank you for being you

it's hard to come by someone who's a good person, especially in the world we live in today. i'm so happy and proud to be apart of your community that you've created. everyone here is so kind and it's genuinely refreshing

i hope these appreciation posts help you and seeing everything people say in the reblogs, especially on my last one. i'm still getting a lot of notifications from that post

[sometimes i wonder if these posts are too much. if you have an issue with them, pearl, please tell me! i'll stop/tone it down in a heartbeat]

sorry for a long post but at this point y'all know that i have long lost the ability to shut up

[kingedmundsroyalmurder]

Blue Castle Book Club Catch Up Post

Sorry for having vanished for a while -- it has been a busy week!

I want to start all the way back in chapter 32, because honestly Valancy frankly deciding that Barney committed bank fraud is my favorite scene/passage. Like, girl went, 'oh yeah, my husband is definitely a criminal, but he didn't do, like, a real crime. Financial crimes don't count, and anyway, I bet he feels bad about it!'

It also tracks with her earlier idle musing that he was counterfeiting money in Bluebeard's Chamber.

I'm also curious why Barney has that newspaper clipping. Did he just use it as a bookmark one day and forget about it? I don't think it ever comes up again.

Skipping over chapter 33 and on to Allan Tierney. We're told that "He was reputed to be a lonely, eccentric man." (Fic prompt: Tierney asks to paint Valancy when both Snaiths are home. They still say no, but they end up becoming friends with him, since he spends his summers on the lake.)

I know others have said they don't like Barney's flatly refusing to let Tierney paint Valancy. I think the reason it doesn't bother me as much is because she also doesn't want to be painted, so the narrative isn't upset that Barney said no. Although I do need to repeat that it's such a good thing that Valancy's in a fairy tale and not a horror story, because the amount that she's wildly uninterested in anyone but Barney is almost uncomfortable. Not that she doesn't like other people -- she has no issues hanging out with Roaring Abel, and she even contemplated visiting her family last chapter -- but she doesn't really care. Even here, when Barney says he had a caller, she is "surprised but indifferent".

Someone better versed than me in actual proper faerie mythology might have a better take on this, but it feels like Valancy has just straight up entered fairy land, with its good and its bad parts. There was a lot of imagery when she first went to Barney's island about entering a fae world, and she's been compared to a spirit several times now, including by Tierney. And she is now utterly indifferent to the mortal world. She does not care what they think, she does not care what their rules are, she is no longer part of their world. In chapter 27, after she told her family she was married, Uncle Benjamin helplessly suggested that she was a changeling, and it feels like Valancy has, like, reverse-changeling'd herself. Instead of the faeries coming to the human world and leaving a faerie child, Valancy went to the faerie world and said, 'I'm here, take me.' And the faerie world did.

Only, again, this is a fairy tale with a lot of the rough edges removed, so the parts that could be bad -- isolation, indifference to the world, alienation from people she once knew -- are presented as entirely positive. Valancy turned her back on the human world, gave herself freely to the faeries, and she was right to do so.

(Fic idea: Valancy as Janet from Tam Lin.)

And Valancy figures out that Barney likes her! In Valancy's defense, I'm not sure how long it took Barney to figure out that Barney likes her, so she can be excused for not figuring out something he didn't even know.

I like her reasoning for not wanting him to love her. It honestly makes perfect sense. Like, she wants him to be sad when she dies, because that means he enjoyed her company, but she likes him too much to want him to be devastated. I do think she is underestimating him -- he didn't love Cissy romantically, and he was clearly devastated when she died, so even if he just likes Valancy as a friend, it wouldn't be easy for him to watch her die. Like, sorry Valancy, your husband is going to be sad when you die.

It is interesting how little emphasis this book puts on the notion of being loved. It is very much about how loving others is good and freeing and meaningful, but there is very little about the value of being loved. One of these days I'll write out my whole essay about Barney and the experience of being desired, but for now I'll leave it at -- coming from a literary tradition (largely but not entirely fanfiction) where unrequited love is seen as a fate as bad as if not worse than death, it's kind of refreshing to see it treated this way. Valancy isn't in control of Barney's feelings and she doesn't need anything from him. She's glad he enjoys her company, but her happiness has nothing to do with whether or not he loves her back. It's all about her, her feelings, her desires, her actions.

Gonna stop here, because this is super long, and come back in a new post for a Dramatic Tone Shift.

[queenofmalkier]

@shounenwifey "Whatever the hell was going on with Lan and Moiraine's bond being "masked" vs being "severed" in s2"

I LOVE THIS ONE. Honestly, I've been very annoyed with the word usage being thrown around in the show, in articles about the show, and in interviews. I don't watch/read much of the latter two, but others do and it impacts fandom perspective on the concept of a warder bond and how it functions.

Initially, I was in love with the visual aspect of what occurred (Okay, still am.). I felt like it was a good way to show them mending their relationship in more ways than one. I felt like they had a decent conversation (for them) that wasn't filled with hurt, derision, or scorn which hadn't happened all season.

And they did it without their bond doing the heavy lifting.

That's key for me because I think their arc in Season 2 very much was them learning how to function without a magical bond acting as a bridge. (I honestly feel like Lan not being a supercharged bro in Season 2 had nothing to do with the bond. He 'failed' as a warder because he was grieving.)

Lan even said the quiet part out loud: without the bond, they don't know how to actually talk, let alone work together.

But they did it. They got through a tough conversation and mended fences. That's going to make them so much better as a team going forward.

Approaching this just from watching the show - I'm a big believer in show, not tell, and if I have to read an interview to find out what happened in a scene or have book knowledge it's a Bad Thing - what I understood is that the bond was not broken between them. (Although it's been a month since my last watch and my brain is swiss cheese so I might be forgetting something.)

In the beginning it's hazy because of the fact that assumptions have been made and they're all wrong... but Verin and Adeleas don't even say Lan is unbonded despite believing that Moiraine was stilled. Moiraine also doesn't seem to think so, or else she'd have told a lie when she handed him over to Alanna.

Overall, nobody says they are unbonded, or the word severed, though I can understand why there's confusion. It's the drawback to playing with shielding instead.

When we see the two of them on the beach, I understood it as Moiraine unmasking the bond... but I saw a lot of people think that it was a reforging of the bond, or recreating it like the bond had been severed in some way.

I think where the show stumbled in depicting what they meant (unmasking vs rebonding) is that they never showed what it looks like when the bond is masked in the first place. There's no callback to the weave. We don't see the weave or how it works before then. This could have been done in season 1, or very easily demonstrated by Alanna given what Maksim says about her masking his bond.

That said, we are going to be getting bonding scenes in the series without question, and I think it will be categorically different in terms of how we see the bond taking shape. Enough to make what happens in Season 2 more clear in hindsight. Not ideal, but I genuinely think they just didn't realize that it wasn't clear enough.

I mentioned above that a lot of misconceptions are happening because, well, people writing articles be using that thesaurus yo!

In this article, the writer says "severed bond" to describe them.

NOW. In any other media you can say severed bond and read that as "Oh no, their relationship is broken!!!" But the words severed and bond are loaded terms in Wheel of Time.

Looking at the actual quote from Rafe what he SAYS is: "That loss of connection between the two of them is something that really is going to play a big role in Season 2 because they no longer have that currency of communication with each other" making it clear that it's their relationship, not their magical little bond, that's going through the ringer. He also clearly says later on in the same interview the bond is masked.

See how easily things get confused?

Looking at the wiki page on bonding, what it says about masking is interesting, based on the confusion as to how the "masking" would stay in place if Moiraine couldn't channel. "The ability is somehow related to the ability to channel, as non-channelers are completely unable to avoid feeling what the other person feels." To me, I understand that to mean masking would stay in place even if Moiraine was shielded because she can still channel, just not in the moment.

While I was there I also read about the effects of stilling on a bond because why not? "When Siuan Sanche's warder Alric was killed, she was stilled shortly after so she was saved from the pain an Aes Sedai would feel after losing a Warder. This indicates that stilling terminates the Warder bond. Once Siuan was Healed, she felt all the pain again, which indicates, Healing restores the Warder bond to that level, even after the death of a Warder."

This reinforces to me that Moiraine could still feel the bond, even if it was masked. But she was so afraid to hope, knowing she couldn't afford it - she needed to focus on Rand, on saving the world, she couldn't mourn - that she shoved it away somewhere in the back of her mind. Like she does.

OKAY almost done I swear.

So I did rewatch the beach scene because I wanted to refresh my memory on the exact language they used.

Lan "The bond, are we going to talk about it?"

Moiraine says "Do you really want it back? After everything I've done to you?"

Honestly, that's a lot more clear and direct than I remembered it being. To me, that's saying that it's still there and Moiraine is continuing to mask it for... Moiraine reasons. (He's her best friend. I don't think she can stomach feeling how hurt he is. How much she HURT him.) If it was gone I think he'd be using different words - "rebond me, you need a warder, etc."

Lan "I never asked for my bond to be released, nor will I."

Again, he's not saying it's gone. He's using present tense. He's not asking for his bond to be released ie the bond didn't break.

(The conversation they have really is so fucking raw and powerful here, because they're talking without any of their bullshit. Just two people giving themselves one moment to be human and forget the great task of their lives just long enough to reconnect. To remind one another why they're walking this path together. Why they chose eachother. Now I'm sad again.)

Lan "Let me back in"

Again, the language is clear. I kind of want to take back some of my harsher thoughts earlier now that I'm watching this with fresh eyes. To be any clearer he'd have to literally say Unmask the bond lol.

In conclusion, I think that the fault lies in the show not demonstrating a masking weave when it had ample chance to do so BEFORE the beach scene. Even if it was quick. I know CGI is expensive but I think it would have cleared up the confusion very easily. I also think the word choice of writers in regards to articles has inadvertently impacted fans understanding of the scene, muddying the waters when it should have been more clear.

[dmwrites]

“So, it’s just you and me then.” Beef said, almost in disbelief. “Left on the server, that is.”

“Yeah.” xB replied, and although he looked better then when Beef had awoken him in his base several hours ago, there was still something off. Beef knew xB as a bit of an old soul, like himself, with sharp eyes and instincts that Beef admired. But xB looked tired now, with dark bag under his eyes and clothes wrinkled. Distinctly ruffled in all aspects. It was weird, but then again, so was everything else.

“So, what do we do, then?” Beef asked. He was still holding a block of sand, he realized, and put it down. He hasn’t quite known what to do when he thought he was the only person left on Hermitcraft, so he’d just kept making his playing cards. That seemed silly now, with someone else around.

xB was quiet for a moment, eyes distant. Beef watched him, wishing he could shake the feeling that he was still the only person on the server. But it still kind of felt like it.

“Whatever we want!” xB finally said, with the kind of forced enthusiasm of someone trying to convince themselves of something. “We own this server, Beef! Screw the others, they’re gone. We are the ones left! Listen, I know where Keralis keeps his good wine. Let’s go get drunk, Beef.”

Beef agreed, more so because it would have been awkward to say no to the only other person left, and he had a feeling that he needed to keep an eye on xB. He still couldn’t quite forget how hard it had been to wake him up.

xB did, in fact, get quite drunk. Or, more accurately, he drank two bottles of wine and just got quieter and quieter as time went on. Some people were like that drunk, so Beef let it slide, although he never took his eyes off of the man.

xB looked at him after a while of silence, with only Keralis’s records playing in the background. “You know what?” He said.

“What’s that?” Beef replied, still nursing his first glass.

“The sleep you pulled me from, it was a deep one. Had lots of dreams.”

“Yeah, you kind of mumbled about it when I finally got you awake. You were pretty groggy though.” Beef said.

xB got very close to Beef and looked him right in the eye. “Yeah. I don’t think the dreams are over yet.” He put a hand on Beef’s shoulder, but the hand just phrased through him.

“Woah, what?” Beef said, jumping out of his chair. But xB was gone, just vanished out of existence. And when Beef checked the tab, he found only his name. He was alone, again, but now with the disturbing possibility that he could just be part of a dream. He touched his own face, found it solid. Maybe, Beef thought, gathering up the wine bottles they’d been drinking from, realizing only one of them had ever been opened, I should just go back to my cards now.

[vreenak]

My knowledge on Star Trek is pretty limited, I've watched a handful of the movies, almost nothing of the og tv show but I've watched the modern movies with Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto and Zoe saldana. Also the first season of that show with Michael Burnham? But that's all

So, my question here is... How many versions of Spock are there? And how would you rate them? Any favorite?

Hey, thanks so much for the ask! I really have no excuse for why it took so long to answer it. I guess this is the kind of question where you either write a whole essay or answer it in a sentence. I always put it off, thinking I would sit down one day and magically write that essay… let's not kid ourselves, though, I'm not known for my fandom meta. But I'm determined to give you more than a sentence. So here goes!

You asked me to rank the Spocks, of which there are 3. *queue some huge Spock fan swooping in and berating me for how wrong I am* 😅 But yeah, we have Leonard Nimoy's Spock (the original one everyone has heard of), the one from the AOS movie, and - let's get this out of the way - my favorite, the one from Strange New Worlds (he also has a few (?) appearances in Discovery … I think in season one? So maybe you've seen him.) This sounds weird because he's such an icon - and I do appreciate him a lot - but… Spock doesn't particularly interest me? I'm not a huge watcher of the original Star Trek series either (yes I know, shame on me! 🙈), although I have watched it several times over the years. I don't feel like I really know Nimoy's Spock that well? I'm more interested in Vulcan culture in general. Of course, all that wouldn't exist w/o Original Spock AND Nimoy's input during production. He laid the foundation. So we owe him a lot.

That being said, I love that, in SNW, we're getting to know Spock and the Vulcan people in general from a fresh perspective. The way they're exploring intraracial dating (Spock and his fiancée T'Pring), interracial dating (Spock and Nurse Chapel), Spock coming to terms with his human side, navigating friendship and camaraderie on a majority human spaceship… It's just really well done. And idk if you've watched a bit of Strange New Worlds, but it's just an extremely beautiful show, simply stunning, visually. And let's face it, Ethan Peck is easy on the eyes as well. We're always told that Vulcans are physically stronger than humans and I love that he's looking the part? And that guys can act. Just an overall great casting choice.

I should probably add that I'm in the minority with my opinion. I have a feeling that most fans don't like Peck's Spock, but I think both the actor and the writing team are doing a great job. I love the show's humor and that they're not taking themselves and the characters too seriously, not even Saint Spock!

And of course there's Zachary Quinto, wouldn't want to forget about him. Gotta be honest with you, I only have eyes for Captain Pike and Uhura and mayyyybe Kirk when I'm watching the movie, but Quinto!Spock is doing a good job, I guess! He definitely has the sharpest haircut of them all! (and I lovelovelove little Spock!!!! Like, Spock as a kid? Do you remember that scene where he's at school and some meanies bully him because he's half human? Oh my gosh he's the cutest little kid and he looks so sad and I always want to give him a big hug!)

Anyway. Thanks for letting me ramble! I know Star Trek is not for everyone, but at this point there's a big variety of shows, so if there's any way for you to catch an episode or two, give it another try! 💜

[rukbat3]

Babylon 5 Rewatch - The Quality of Mercy

This is a post I originally wrote several years ago for Mark Oshiro’s Mark Watches blog. I don’t really plan to edit them before posting, so there may be some references that don’t make sense. If you see words that look like gibberish, they are actually rot13, which was our way of discussing spoilers. There are plugins you can install to decode the text (Cryptext is the one I use), or you can copy/paste to rot13.com, or just ignore it.

I always forget how good this episode is, falling right between “Babylon Squared” and the season finale. It’s probably also because, while the episode brings up some interesting concepts, it’s not always pleasant to watch—namely, any part with Karl Mueller, who is way too creepy. But I’m finding myself with a lot more to say than I thought I would, so buckle in! (Or, I guess, just skip it. That’s also an option!)

So let’s dive straight into the deep end with this one. “The Quality of Mercy” introduces two different sci-fi concepts of capital punishment, and contrasts them to a certain extent, although it doesn’t really get too deep into the repercussions of either. Jr'yy unir gb jnvg hagvy bar bs zl snibevgr rcvfbqrf va frnfba guerr sbe gung.

The first method is the “death of personality,” something which appears to have been made possible by the existence of telepaths to enforce it, although a machine is mentioned which actually carries out the physical mindwipe. This appears to be fairly well-established as a punishment in murder cases, and was undoubtedly adopted as a more humane alternative to lethal injection or the electric chair. But is it? I’m not sure I see much difference. At the end of the process, the original person is still dead. Yes, their body is still walking around, able to be “of use to society,” but everything that makes that person an individual has been erased. Also, Mueller seems to imply that the newly created personality will be put to work doing manual labor—but this new person won’t have done anything wrong! It’s the question once again of whether Angel should be punished for Angelus’s crimes. And for me, at least, the answer is even more clear in this case than that one: No. “Death of personality” as a punishment is a travesty of justice all around, made worse because it allows people to feel good about themselves while at the same time inflicting even more punishment on the innocent.

This is contrasted with the alien healing device found by Dr. Laura Rosen. Both of these methods of punishment have in common that they serve a dual purpose of punishing the wrongdoer while benefiting society as a whole, and the alien healing device seems likely to eventually result in the death of the user, just like with death of personality. But it seems to me that the difference is that with the alien healing device, the one being forced to serve society is the one who actually committed the crime.

But I like Dr. Franklin’s idea better: Ask people to volunteer to donate some of their life energy in small increments to help others, just like donating blood. (The only question would be whether life energy is something your body can replace, or if you are shortening your life in small increments whenever you use it. That might be a deal-breaker!)

[season 4] Vg'f whfg gbb onq guvf fhttrfgvba bs Qe. Senaxyva'f nccneragyl arire znqr vg vagb gur svyr Znephf sbhaq. Jung jrer lbh guvaxvat, Fgrcura?! Gnxr orggre abgrf!

This subplot has a couple of other interesting features as well. We find out that Dr. Franklin has been running an illicit clinic in Downbelow because he doesn’t like the way Babylon 5’s (Earth’s?) healthcare system excludes certain people. He is willing to bend, or even break, the rules for the sake of helping people he feels need help. We have seen this character trait before, in “Believers” (ugh), naq jr jvyy frr vg ntnva va n fyvtugyl qvssrerag jnl va, r.t., "N Enpr Guebhtu Qnex Cynprf".

And although Ivanova isn’t in this episode much, we also learn something about her character when she discovers what Franklin has been up to. Her objection is not so much that he has been doing something wrong, as she too recognizes the need for the service he is providing, but that she was not already “in the loop,” so to speak. Her defining character trait is not, as it is for Dr. Franklin, a need to help people; instead it is a need to know what is going on around her so she can be prepared for all eventualities. This would make her a good second-in-command, but possibly exhausting to be in a relationship with. I wonder how much this is a result of her upbringing: her mother’s suicide when she was young (naq jr svaq bhg yngre gung ure zbgure qryvorengryl tbg ure bhg bs gur ubhfr gung qnl), her brother’s death in the Minbari war, and her father’s emotional withdrawal. [season 3] Jr jvyy frr guvf punenpgre genvg rzcunfvmrq rira zber fgebatyl va frnfba guerr jura jr svaq bhg gung fur nyernql xarj nobhg gur Enatref, qrfcvgr abg univat orra gbyq, naq va ubj hapbzsbegnoyr fur vf jvgu abg orvat noyr gb svg Znephf vagb n arng yvggyr betnavmngvbany obk.

And thus we get Ivanova and Franklin, Partners in Crime!

[season 3] Jr nyfb yrnea va guvf rcvfbqr gung Qe. Ebfra jnf fgevccrq bs ure zrqvpny yvprafr sbe orpbzvat nqqvpgrq gb fgvzf naq nppvqragnyyl unezvat n cngvrag nf n erfhyg. Lbh'q guvax Qe. Senaxyva jbhyq gnxr guvf nf n pnhgvbanel gnyr, ohg nynf!

[season 2] Url, vg'f Ybh! Uv, Ybh! Lbh'er terng. V'z tynq Zhryyre qvqa'g xvyy lbh.

So there was a very brief scene where Dr. Franklin is coming to visit Dr. Rosen and she is just finishing up with a young female patient. The young patient only has one or two brief lines thanking Dr. Rosen, and her face is partly obscured by her hair, but something about her struck me as familiar. It turns out the actress is Constance Zimmer, and this was her second role ever, but since then she’s gone on to play recurring characters on a bunch of shows, including Rosalind Price on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.!

Moving on to the other (and funnier) subplot, but in keeping with the theme, [season 4] Url, vg'f gur (shgher) Ertrag! Uv, shgher Ertrag! V unq gbgnyyl sbetbggra ur nccrnerq guvf rneyl ba gur fubj. Pbagvahvgl!

Londo is being encouraged to develop allies among the other races, and for some reason (opportunism, most likely, and because he thinks Lennier will be an easy mark), he decides to make Lennier the first victim of his overtures of friendship. And that’s extremely lucky for us, because it means we are treated to the buddy-cop duo of Londo and Lennier! What could go wrong? ;)

(Incidentally, what do you suppose would happen if Buddy Cops Londo and Lennier went up against Ivanova and Franklin, Partners in Crime? My first instinct was that I&F would run rings around them, but Lennier gave us a glimpse of some impressive hidden skills in this episode. That spin kick, for one! He might just manage to outsmart all three of them. :))

Anyway, first Londo takes Lennier to a bar/strip club, and I guess we get confirmation that Lennier is interested in women, although there’s also the possibility that his interest is at least partly sociological in nature. But the main point of the scene is Londo shadily trying to trick Lennier into drinking some alcohol, and what I love about this scene is that it is actually a cautionary tale about not considering the consequences of your actions. Londo’s “harmless joke” could have had serious repercussions, not just for Lennier, but for himself and everyone else in the bar (especially as we find out later about Lennier’s martial arts training). V nyfb ybir gung gur Zvaonev ynpx bs gbyrenapr sbe nypbuby vfa'g fbzrguvat gung jnf whfg hfrq nf n wbxr ba Ybaqb va guvf bar rcvfbqr naq gura sbetbggra nobhg, ohg pbafvfgragyl erzrzorerq guebhtubhg gur frevrf. Pbagvahvgl!

Then Londo finds out that Lennier is an expert at probability, and we are treated to the brilliant sequence of Londo trying to teach Lennier, a character without an ounce of guile, how to play poker. Actually, I’m a little surprised by Londo’s choice here, since poker is not a partner game, so he’s basically teaching Lennier how to beat him in the future! Anyway, somehow Lennier is winning despite his total lack of ability to bluff, but the game is cut short when the other players discover that Londo is (unsurprisingly) a cheater, and he is only saved by the delightful discovery which I have alluded to before that Lennier, in addition to being a student of history and an expert in probability, is also skilled in hand-to-hand combat!

And in the end, they’re called on the carpet by Sinclair, who I suddenly realized hadn’t been in the episode at all before now(!), and Lennier covers for Londo, much to Londo’s surprise. From the expression on Sinclair’s face, he definitely knows what’s up, but I think he’s too amused by the whole thing to pursue it. :D

Favorite scene: Really, I love this whole subplot, but it all culminates in this last scene, where we can see that Londo and Lennier really have bonded, at least a little bit, and there is an actual exchange of cultural knowledge. Londo learns that in Minbari culture, it is considered an honor to help another save face, and Lennier learns … um … something a bit more personal.

Lennier: “I’m going to take a vow of silence concerning this entire conversation.”

Ohg sbeghangryl sbe hf, gur fubj qbrfa'g gnxr n ibj bs fvyrapr, nf guvf vf lrg <em>nabgure</em> fznyy qrgnvy sebz guvf rcvfbqr gung ergheaf qbja gur ebnq, gb uvynevbhf rssrpg. ;)

[thesorcerersapprenticeu]

Chapter 4: End of the Playground

The escape is over, the Haul is lost and you and Powder return to the others empty-handed. Except for the small blue crystals Powder has in his hip pocket. This, of course, raises some concern, Vander has already heard what happened up in Piltover. And don't forget Mylo, who is now complaining more about you two than ever before. And then you look further into this book, with the Parts of the 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐲 𝐖𝐢𝐳𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐬𝐞.

---

Well would you look at that, the next chapter! This chapter was a bit difficult to write, I had to watch the episode again and of course put Y/N everywhere. (When I only ever read stories, I always imagined it would be incredibly easy to insert characters somewhere. Trust me: it's not.) Plus the heat is killing me and I have to prepare for things in my job. Have fun Reading! wc: 4.8 K

---

"You did WHAT?!"

You and Powder have escaped, now you and the others are waiting in a dark corner in the middle of nowhere. While you still have the trembling in your knees and the dried tears on your cheeks, Mylo talks to you. He gets very close to your face, spreads out like a big shadow and talks down to you.

"I’m S-Sorry-

"Who saw that coming?" He's angry, very angry. When you two arrived here a few moments ago, you were scared inside because of the injuries everyone had. After the fight, it was clear who had won, but also who had the injuries: Mylo has dirt on his arms, probably because he was thrown on the ground a lot during the fight. One of his eyes was blue around the outside, but in the light it looks like it's pitch black. Claggor's glasses were broken, the lenses barely reflecting and looking more like the last defense against a punch to the face. He also had lacerations in three places on his face, which were already slightly swollen.

"We never should have gone over there"

You finally see Vi, who comes closer to you both and stands in the middle of you and Powder. In contrast to your warm face, you now feel a cool hand on your right cheek. She gently strokes your skin and wipes away the tear that was threatening to fall on you because of Mylo's outburst.

"It's okay you two. At least you're okay" The moment is over immediately, she walks past you and stands by a large door that you couldn't see in the darkness. You walk along with the crowd, next to Powder. Although Mylo usually always blames the two of you, this time he had barely vented his anger on her, maybe a scowl here or there, but you got the talk.

"Okay? What about us? I get my face bashed in and they just get a pass?"  Apart from a few seconds ago, Mylo somehow seems even more pissed off than before, as if something has fueled his anger again. With a quick observational glance, you quickly find the reason for this: he has the most injuries. Although you always think it's Vi who has the most, because she's messing with several people at once.

"Yup"

How can she just say that?

You're already familiar with the building, even if you didn't often come along on their "assignments". Not just because you're not physically fit, but because it's simply much better in a warm bed with a book or a page to draw on. Or maybe you never liked going along because it almost always went wrong.

It's a kind of gym, from the outside it looks like an ordinary house in the neighborhood. From the inside, apart from weeds, a large elevator fills the room. It already looks quite old, a metal frame that looked like wood, just a little of the silver paint left. In front of it is a small table with a lamp on it, and there was virtually nothing else here.

Vi stands next to the elevator while you walk in briskly. Claggor takes a seat on one of the chairs while Mylo stands beside him, and you stand in the middle with Powder. The two of you exchange glances every few seconds. With a sound you attribute to a cogwheel, the elevator jerks, Vi quickly stands next to you and your eyes land in front, where the view slowly changes.

"Every time. Every time they come, something goes wrong." You've heard that many times before, but you try not to react, it was hard anyway after your crying and occasional sniffling. Your eyes drift to Powder, who is visibly upset, not only because of his words, but also because of our own failure.

Does he always have to say things like that to us?

You didn't care about the prey of course, even if you did, should you speak up you'd probably be the next one to get a punch from Mylo. You just thought...They were a little happier...To see that you and Powder were okay.

Mylo moves, with a minimal swivel of the elevator and a blink from you, he is suddenly in front of you. With his tall and thin stature, he looks down at you as if you were the Thugs he just beat.

"You really need to be a bit more athletic, maybe read a few less books and focus more on real life instead of your stupid fairy tales" You can smell the stench of his breath, it's really nothing great. Plus, he puts himself above you just to make it clear that you're so much smaller than the rest.

They're not Stupid fairy tales you asshole.

"And She!? She jinxes every job" Your eyes flick to Powder in a split second. She looked angry, but only because she was copying his expression. Just before it looks like one of them is going to strike, Vi intervenes.

"Just drop it, Mylo."

It's good that Vi says something too, I'm afraid that the two of them will take it too far at some point. Especially Mylo, who never knows when to shut up.

This lands your eyes on the Undercity. Fence.

Buildings that perfectly match the word "undercity", green neon lights that you can see from afar. Narrow passages with paths that the naked eye does not perceive, especially all the chaos. Then there were the small, narrow, elevated bridges over buildings and sometimes just wildly in the air, half of which technically lead to nowhere. When you were first brought down here by Vander five years ago, you described it as: industrial and slightly chaotic.

The view is beautiful.

It's a matter of opinion, but some days it was hell on earth. Thefts, small riots and miners loitering wildly in the streets. On other days it was actually quiet, not comparable to the peace and quiet you've enjoyed up in Piltover so far, but quite okay for the conditions.

So you were there, fence. From a distance you can already see glances in your direction, Vi sees it too and pulls her hood over her head. You're wearing a coat with a hood, so you simply copy her movement and look down at the ground. As you walk, you notice the slight vibrations from the uneven ground, reminding you of the Enforcers' gadget and the Stolen Book.

Corpse parts , what good are they? Why would anyone take notes on corpse parts? And they're supposed to belong to the Holy Wizard? What the hell were they researching up there? Also these little blue crystals, on impact they seem to give off masses of energy...

Your eyes wander to Powder, she is walking in front of you. They sink a little, even in the darkness of the lanes you can see the small pouch on her hips. It's as if you can feel the danger coming from those crystals, that's exactly what it was in the Academy district, you knew something was going to happen.

Can this energy be transformed or used? Is it a way to control magic or something? Does anyone want to revive this Holy Wizard? Where do these crystals come from anyway?

That's what you were there for, the speculation. Magic. So many possibilities, endless possibilities and infinite results. You don't need to be a scientist like your stupid siblings and parents to know that these crystals have something magical about them, even if you're more likely to think they're the same color as Powder's beautiful blue eyes.

You are likely to forget your thoughts and your attention belongs to the situation around you. Around you were stalls filled with all kinds of things. As it looks, it was relatively easy to steal from, especially if you were quick. However, the sellers are not stupid: important and expensive goods are stored in the actual stores and not out in the open.

While a shopkeeper was sleeping, Mylo quickly sneaks up and grabs a piece of fruit. Looking at you, you'd actually like to have one too, but you're not stupid. You can't steal, you're too slow and with your clumsiness, the shopkeeper would probably wake up and catch you. You've already had enough stress today, and not just in the undercity. You swallow the scratchy feeling in your throat and ignore the growling of your stomach.

The guy really is a born thief. I wish I could do the same.

Then you see a mark, a small black spot on the floor. The brothel. When you first arrived here, under the protection of Vander, you kept your eyes and ears open in this New World. You made small, barely noticeable marks everywhere you were never meant to go. This place here was one of many in Zaun.

In the corner of your eye and the concealed brightness of your cloak, you also see something that you find extremely unpleasant. One of the Women at the Entry doors waved at Claggor, he turns slightly red in the face, looks down embarrassed and stars to speed up.

And now you were finally there.

The Last Drop.

Known to most as "Vander's Place", a place where no matter who shows up from the Undercity meets people who feel the same way. Truly a place for anyone who felt out of place or wrong in the world, just about everyone who was in the store knew each other. It wasn't a family, but it came pretty close.

While you are standing in front of the door and already thinking about the shortest way to the cellar, Vander is still running a business inside. He's helping Huck, a scrawnier man who's trying to make a deal with some Lackey's. Since the demand for his products has dropped, they want to pay him less, and with his scrawny stature he wouldn't mess with two people who are physically superior to him anyway. But then there was Vander, the big and muscular man who saved the day and calmed everyone down and saved the business.

The door to the store opens and you enter. Apart from Mylo, Vi and Claggor, who have injuries on them, you and Powder try not to attract attention. A shy glance at the floor and hope no one notices you. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Vander first as he talks to a woman sitting across from him. He offers her his pipe as a kind of handshake and she takes it. She takes it and breathes in deeply before coughing in disgust, instantly handing it back and looking Worse than before.

"You learn to love it"

With that, he turns abruptly towards the door as the bell above it sounds. Looking directly at the others who had injuries, his gaze landed on you as well. He knew you were shy and staying out of arguments and fights as much as you could, but he'd have to have a word with Vi later about why she wanted you and Powder there.

He knew something was wrong.

After all, it was pretty obvious, looking at your group you could smell the running and the blood. He slowly turns back to the two people at the table, holds a small smile and ends the conversation.

"Welcome to the Lanes "

---

Vi sits down with a huff on her chair, Claggor tosses his goggles onto the table as he sits down on the couch with Mylo sitting next to him. You sit down across from him, next to Powder, but right in front of the guy who's probably about to bitch at you again, Mylo.

"Vander learns none of this."

That's obvious, at least normally. But he'll find out anyway when he sees you, it's pretty obvious.

Just as Vi finishes speaking and your thought vanishes into thin air again, it begins. Mylo kicks his feet up on the table and responds to Vi, as if he was the one getting asked.

"No worries there, Those Two..." With that, he raises an arm casually, as if you're not worthy of his energy. He slides his fingers along his fist and points his index finger at you and his middle finger at Powder. "Took care of all the evidence."

We're starting to get it, asshole.

Anyway, isn't it logical that we run away? Neither of us are in a good physical condition to fight with older people. We're also the youngest... It's not fair to put all the blame on us now.

As if Powder had read your thoughts, she tries to defend you both.

"We tried, okay? You don't get it. You're older, you're bigger. It, It isn't fair."

You were already not in a good position due to the loud talking and the now trembling feeling in your knees hugs you your legs to your chest. Powder looks at you briefly after her statement, sees that you don't seem to want to say anything, and copies your stance. However, Mylo doesn't seem to understand the situation properly and starts talking at you again.

"So stick with us! Take a punch or two-

The door opens abruptly and Vander becomes visible, standing at the top of the stairs looking down at all of you. Your knees tremble slightly again, remembering everything that has happened today. You have failed Vander many times before, due to too many doubts and a lack of physical strength, but you still hate it.

"Everyone okay?"

He knows, one hundred percent. He knows exactly what happened in Piltover.

Mylo doesn't move a bit from his comfortable position on the couch, while no one else answers he takes the chance.

"Never better"

Why does he have to answer?

Vander begins walking down the stairs, looking at all of you he begins to Speak.

"Good"

Now, reaching the bottom of the stairs, he places his hands behind his back and calmly paces the room. Your eyes follow his movements, it's pretty clear what's coming, even if the others don't know, you do. He will have heard about it already, but he still wants to hear it from you.

We've done a massive shit job.

"I don't suppose you can explain why it is that I'm learning about an explosion and a foot chase topside? Five Children leaving the Scene."

He waits, about a few seconds. He doesn't move a bit, his eyes wander from one of you to the other, hoping that one of you will explain what exactly has happened. As it stands, none of you will speak, staying together as a group is important after all.

This has now turned into an interrogation. No, I can't tell him that the explosion was caused by those blue crystals. I'd be putting Powder on the spot in front of everyone, the others aren't really too thrilled with our performance anyway.

You already regret it. You should never have gone, you don't bring anything to the group. You just didn't want to be alone and left out when they were all talking about how "great the job was" and stuff like that. Powder would still be with you, so you didn't care about the rest, she was like you and you liked her.

"What the hell were you thinking?"

Your eyes follow Vander's to the leader of your little group: Vi. She understands exactly what he means and puts on an irritated expression.

"That we can handle a real job"

Vander gives her no time and answers immediately. He furrows his eyebrows and takes a more defensive stance.

"A real job!?"

Vi seems even more irritated, apparently thinking that everything would go perfectly this time. In theory, she's in charge of the group, and an explosion with Foot Chase doesn't seem like a good outcome.

"We got our own tip, planned a route, nobody even saw-

"You blew up a building"

Checkmate. That was exactly it, the consequence that ruined everything. Maybe it would have all worked out in the end, but those little blue crystals you and Powder found ruined everything. Vi can't talk her way out of it either, even if she didn't actually have anything to do with it, it's a killer argument.

[ "This is how it is, ultimately. No matter what you ever do, will ever do or will never do. Everything balances out: Quid pro quo. " ]

Vi turns completely towards him, with the chair and her whole posture.

"That wasn't-

Vander doesn't let them say anything, as already mentioned: checkmate.

"Did you even sop to think about what could have happened to you? Eh? To them?" Vander turns to you, the others in the room. Everyone avoids his gaze, the shame in the room could literally be smelled in the air. You look to Powder to avoid his gaze, she does the same and you stare into each other's eyes. You hear Vander rubbing a hand against his forehead very quietly in the background.

I just hope he doesn't ask where we got this tip...Please don't ask please don't ask.

"Where did you even get this tip?"

How I hate being right, oh man.

No one responds, a good not fills the room. You and Powder are still looking at each other, she makes this little gesture with her eyes where she squints slightly at Vander. A way of saying "He'll find out anyway," so you know she's going to answer him now.

"We just heard it at Benzo's store"

Vander looks directly at her, not even a second has passed since these words left her mouth.

"From?"

Powder wanted to put the situation behind him quickly, it seems. You can't leave her hanging now and finally say something.

"Little man"

Vander's gaze finally meets yours fully, even if you can only see it out of the corner of your eye. If you had to describe the look, you would say he is disappointed in you and the others. But there was something else in your gaze, apart from the others, it has a kind of shimmer, but it doesn't come from the lamp and the reflection of the light, but from a feeling. His look says "I expected better from you"

Vander shakes his head in disappointment, Vi takes no time in interrupting the conversation. She gets up from her chair in a huff and gets a little louder than anyone who has ever said a word in this room.

"I took us there. If you wanna be mad, be mad at me. But you're the one who always said we have to earn out place in this World!"

He barely reacts, only another shake of his head and tensing of his shoulders warns you that he is about to answer again.

"I also told you time and time again, the Northside's off-limits. We stay out of Piltover's business."

"Why? They've got plenty, while we're down here scraping together coins. When did you get so comfortable living in someone else's shadow?"

Holy shit.

Vi has clearly overdone it, and everyone knows it.

Nobody spoke, nobody moved even a centimeter. You don't even hear breathing in the room, it's as if everything had just died because of that statement. Your eyes widen, what's happening now is pure coincidence. Either Vander just leaves it alone or he goes for it and sends you all out for sure.

"Everyone. Out."

Everyone stands up, apart from Vi, who is still sitting in the armchair and slowly realizes that there is now going to be a long conversation.

You keep your eyes ahead, on Mylo and Claggor who are walking in front of you, to your left was Powder. The stairs creak slightly under your footsteps and then you are already at the door. On your way out, you and Powder turn around briefly and save a final glance, but only for a moment as the door is now closed.

While you wait outside and just hope that everything will be forgotten quickly, Mylo seems to have other plans. He briefly reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small device, presses it against the door and gets very close to it with his ear. Claggor sits down next to him on the stairs and watches him act.

"That's not a good idea, Mylo."

"Never mind... I just want to hear what they're talking about in there."

You and Powder are still standing next to them, but they're hardly interested. If Vander wants to talk to Vi alone, then so be it. There's no reason to eavesdrop, especially not if the conversation only concerns the two of them.

Mylo screws up his face as he listens, even moving his eyes in places, as if he could see straight through the door. He takes his ear off the device for a moment and turns towards Claggor.

"He says that we have to lay low for a bit"

No wonder, with a hunt through Piltover it's understandable. Especially because the enforcers have also seen our faces.

You have no more energy, just as little desire for anything. You just want to lie on your bed, maybe finally look into that book you stole and understand it. You want to understand who this Holy Wizard is and why anyone would look for his corpse parts.

You turn and look at Powder, she's just standing next to you in the aisle, looking at you too. From the looks of it she's still banged up from the Haul, after all you both lost it...Even if it was your fault. But just as you both turn to go into the lanes, you hear Claggor.

"Hey ugh Y/N?"

You turn around slowly, perhaps a little too slowly. Your gaze meets Claggor's, he looks exhausted, the way he's sitting on these stairs right now, he probably just wants to go to sleep.

"When we were about to escape from this apartment, after the door handle, we started clicking frantically..." He looks confused, but interested at the same time. His broken glasses give you a clear view of his eyes. But it's not just him who's confused, you are too, because you don't know what he's getting at. "You meant right before this... explosion something. I think you said "Something is" right before that, as if you knew that everything would...explode."

How did I know that this explosion would be caused by one of the crystals? How should I describe this Weird Feeling? Should I even tell him?

"I can't remember exactly..." Lie. You lie to him to avoid looking like a crazy person. Does it count as a white lie or are you hiding something?  "I think I just wanted to let you know that the person behind the door has already broken through the lock."

Claggor continues to look at you, but doesn't seem to think anything more about it. He moves his eyes to Mylo, who had stopped to listen to you, but now has his ear on the gadget again, listening to Vi and Vander's conversation.

You turn around and go with Powder to the Dark Lanes, where you can just spend time without really having to do anything.

Powder starts dumpster diving, looking through the trash for any parts that can be used on her inventions. She took a Clamp and Leapt down to examine it for a bit before trying to putting it in her small pouch, where something was already residing.

She looked over at you, but your mind was somewhere else.

You had this book from the Academy district in your hands, opened with your eyes on the random page you opened.

It was a map, painted on both sides.

A map of your world, with markers in various places. Your eyes swept over the different places: Bandle, Demacia, Noxus, Ixtal, Targon. These were at least the places you didn't know, but in these areas there were red markings in the shape of a small red circle that seemed to contain something.

But then you see it. On the far right of the map was the heading: Corpse Parts in Zaun and Piltover.

Your heart starts beating faster again and it takes a few seconds for your brain to really get to grips with what it means.

If this Holy Wizard was so Holy, so powerful, why are there parts of his corpse in Zaun and Piltover? Who is this wizard and what are his corpse parts doing in Zaun? Could it be that the person who owns the apartment is looking for the corpse parts?

"Hey..."

You are startled, this time very badly. You drop the book and feel your heart race through your whole body. It was Powder, standing in the darkness, staring at you. In her hand...One of the crystals.

"Sorry...But..." You looked at her hand, the crystal slightly illuminating the alley, you can even see Claggor and Vander running away from a distance by the light. Your heart starts to calm down a little, your eyes turn to Powder who seems to be trying to tell you something.

"Should we show them to Vi?"

You think immediately, after all, it wasn't an easy decision.

If Vi finds out that the whole job didn't work because of these little crystals, then what? Besides, they're dangerous too, what if one of them just explodes without a trigger? It would probably bury him alive under rubble, those crystals are damn dangerous.

But you would have the chance to have done something right for once. Besides, Vi has the right to know about them. And that takes you over.

"Yeah...let's show her."

You quickly grab the book and run off, straight to where Vi was with Vander earlier. Along the stairs and now you're at the door, Powder's hand leaving yours as you run. But now that you're there, he hears something from inside, right where you are in front of the door.

"They are a Problem."

Powder looks to you in surprise, it was Mylo's voice and he seems to be down there alone with Vi. You wait, you wait so damn hard for Vi to tell him off right now and tell him that his big mouth was the reason you lost everything.

"Mylo, I'm really not-

"Do you remember what was in that bag?"

Powder leans even harder against the door as she squeezes your hand more tightly. You can both look down through a small gap, they were both down by the couch. Vi was standing and Mylo was lying on the couch, throwing a ball against the wall every few seconds and catching it again.

"The biggest payout we've ever seen and Both of them just lost it."

Vi doesn't let it stand, she answers him directly in a slightly annoyed but defensive voice.

"They made a mistake"

"Name one time they haven't"

Powder looks directly at you and your gaze meets hers. You both have a pained expression on your face, after a few seconds you prefer to look at the ground out of shame. It was clear that Mylo always makes fun of you, he does it in front of you. But the fact that he goes so far as to complain to Vi had reached a new level.

"They are Both Young"

Mylo throws his ball again, his eyes do not leave the ball he bounced back. However, he does not seem to let the statement stand.

"Don't bullshit me. You were twice the person at half their age."

Come on Vi! Tell him how wrong he is, defend us against him, he has no right to talk about your sister and me like that. Tell him that it was his fault because of his big mouth, that even if we are to blame, we are not the only factor!

"You know what Mylo? You're right. There's a bunch of thins Powder and Y/N just can't do."

That was it. It hit you harder than you thought it would, Vi agreeing with Mylo that you were practically unnecessary. You never expected that, especially not from Vi. It hurt to hear that, really, the pain in your heart reminded you of that time.

[ "Shut up Y/N! "]

[ "Stupid Good-For-Nothing! " ]

You didn't want to listen to the conversation anymore, especially not after Vi's statement. It hurt you more than you thought, it felt like you were back with your siblings, who always thought you were stupid and unnecessary. You have this feeling about everything.

"Come..." You turn to your left, to Powder. She has the same look on her face as you, she was Hurt. When you hear your sister say things like that, it's normal to react like that.

With that, you and Powder leave while she pushes the Little Crystal back into her pocket.

You don't know that the conversation continues and Vi defends you both. You don't know that she tells Mylo that he's partly to blame. You also don't know that she stands up for both of you because she knows your weaknesses and still cares about you.

---

Aha! So this funny book contains a map with a few markings. I hope the markings are not for the Corpse parts and hold some secrets of the world and magic. (Of course they do) Why is Mylo such a hater? I mean if it wasn't for his big mouth you would have gotten away with it. (Just kidding, after all it was all planned by Silco). The next update of my stories will be sometime next week, and I'm looking forward to finally writing another chapter for “The Genius of playtime Co.”. Leave a Comment about this Chapter and a Like!