#am so grateful for my own strengths fr fr

[fairyhaos]

seventeen and bts songs

seventeen as different bts songs!

notes: this was originally meant to be a thought but, uh. it became too long. (also if anyone wants svt as seventeen songs or txt songs, ill make an exception to my no requests law Just For That 🤭)

masterlist

seungcheol

on. the power, the 'never giving up' energy, the 'idgaf if you hate me' energy, the 'look how far we've come, do you really think you can beat us?' energy is just. very very him. he has pride in himself and his group, and rightfully so, and that's exactly what this song talks about.

jeonghan

love maze. it's so.... pretty. the entire song just has such pretty vibes, like some sort of iridescent silk, and the kind of sparkly, 'just trust me' vibes make me think of jeonghan? it feels like winks across a room, running hand in hand from a boring convention to god knows where, like loving endlessly with jeonghan.

joshua

serendipity. okay, am i jimin biased? yes. and am i joshua biased? also yes. so is this a little bit biased too?? ... yeah but also the 'let me love you' vibes of serendipity, the gentle, lovely, adoring nature of the song fits joshua so much okay. serendipity reminds me of soft colours and joshua is a soft aura, so what other song could he be?

junhui

moon. it's like, about an awe-filled love, an adoration, an almost shy love too? it feels very junhui because of the sweetness and adorable nature of it. also it's as im typing this that i realize it corresponds with, like . "moon" junhui. moon junhui. wen junhui. ig it was meant to be

hoshi

dope. the hyped nature of the song!!!! the 'im the best' energy!!!! the 'carving my own path that's like no other' vibes!!!! you can't tell me this isn't hoshi. it's just such a... hype song. i really can't find another way to explain it, but it has the same bounding energy as hoshi

wonwoo

fly to my room. maybe a bit of an unexpected one, but there's a sort of tired, grateful comfort to fly to my room? like, it feels like aching feet being placed in someone's lap, sitting on the couch you both own, in the place you both call home. the naturalness, the domesticity, it all feels like wonwoo.

woozi

film out. okay this one i can't really explain, but the gentle, calm vibes give me a woozi feeling. it's like rainbows, like delicate glasses, like the fragile beauty of woozi. plus it also feels like something he would compose: like, fallin flower? downpour???

minghao

black swan. not only due to the royal, elegant vibes of the song, but because it talks about dance and about the self and about loss and love all at once, and don't you think that sort of thoughtful, soul-searching type of lyrics fit minghao so, so well?

mingyu

boy in luv. it's like, kinda grungy, kinda bad boy, and that's like the vibes that mingyu tries to give off. but it also talks about lovesick boys and they were so Young back then that it makes me go "aww" whenever i watch the mv like they're little puppies or smth 😭 and that's literally me with mingyu even if he's stripping during concerts or whatever

dokyeom

mikrokosmos. i was debating between this and euphoria, but it's ultimately mikrokosmos for dokyeom because it's just so soul-ascendingly glittering. it's magical, it's sparkly-eyed, it's full of smiles and happy ever afters and that in itself is dokyeom. also the talking of universes and stars??? stars are for dokyeom's eyes and the way he sings, so of course he's mikrokosmos.

seungkwan

autumn leaves. autumn leaves, or dead leaves (ive never looked into why it has 2 names lmao) is a very yearning, wistful song that really fills me with Emotions whenever i listen to it. but it's also powerful, rich, and it feels a lot like seungkwan's voice and his strength to carry on

vernon

boyz with fun. it's such a cool funky adorable song fr!! vv much vernon vibes. i can imagine him listening to this with his headphones and his beanie and just bopping his head while walking and accidentally tripping over a loose stone on the pavement. it's very vernon actually.

chan

magic shop. idk, i can't explain it, but the comforting and sweet and magical kind of vibes that fit chan. it's youthful, not in an innocent or childish way, but like the memory of youth, emanating the "forever young" message that bts often presented. i think chan encapsulates that very well.

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[voyeuristicvixen]

Captains Log No.33_ addsmespice

Firuz and Inari are a pair of naughty ass alts tht I made to start some adult content w WAV and we have yet to shoot a scene with them but for avis that I put together with less than 100Ls they look goodt. Stay Tuned! Follow their twitter its, https://twitter.com/firuzinari!!

she cute X.X So yaaahhhhhh Wav and I are working on episode 2 of Meta Love Talks and I am working in general on a full schedule for my creative ass (thank the fates) I am super grateful that I have so many amazing ideas and I ask for the strength to carry them out to completion and be fully committed and consistent in the act of self love that is putting it all out. AMEN!

Sub to our Youtube page! https://www.youtube.com/@studio19.

One thing we didnt mention and want to make sure we do more moving forward is give visibility and credits to all the creators that make our content possible. I honestly haven’t been good at doing that because of pure laziness lol. I will do better! I do not want to gatekeep any of these amazing creative tools and things that come together to make videos and pics and looks possible! So ya that first episode we filmed at a historic Sci Fi spot in SL called Hangars Liquides, def a place to check out because the artists there are dedicated to the political movements that art generates in their home countries. Its a dope ass movement behind Hangars that we didnt know about till after the filming. I have to do a whole post and more on that because its so fascinating to me.

I have been pulled into a deeper love for the history of SL, as time goes on there will be more history added and so everything we do in this platform can become apart of that too. Something to think about. Legacy is important to me. In RL and SL has now been a fun way to “troubleshoot” so to speak, the habits and skills necessary to make that happen fr. My Amor tribe will grow, and I have recently been honored to have been asked to be someones daughter. *pinch me im dreaming!* So now we growing our own family and im being introduced into another one all at once. Inshallah!  

Im pretty sure a black creator on zooby hud made this texture for the onesie and its just so clever because its got shoes and pants and a top but on one onesie its brilliant! I need to log in and look and add in where its from later for yall! Genius.

We have been experimenting and practicing more with lighting and photography, getting content. Its been a lot of fun and sometimes also can be daunting. Always remember never compare yourself or your work to others as tempting as it may be! Unless you want to stifle you motivation and creativity! Heed this warning fellow creators don’t you dare do that to yourself! I get into that mode sometimes feeling like “oh no one likes my stuff” but then I realize that hey, I LOVE IT lol and thats all that matters. The bonus is that people that end up liking it too  are oftentimes creators that I myself admire and who’s work I think is amazing representation of SL so that means a lot more to me than having hundreds of likes. I see a lot of ppl get discouraged and maybe this can help put things into a diff perspective. Keep doing you!

Wav had a whole ass amazing idea to do a shoot in the rain and so of course I needed to have us do a kiss in the rain. We have that on our RL couples bucket list. I think one of our meta love talk episodes will def have to include that segment in there because its really fun putting together and finding new things that we can experience together. Game changer! Anywayssss look how cuuuuuteeee they aree *hearteyes*

I be so annoying and nagging Wav a lot more than I would like to admit XD He shuts me up when he does things like take me on romantic dates like this... its such a treat. Also funny asl whenever we try and have a meal and realize we actually have to make reservations so that people can RP the whole dinner for us lmaooo. I hope that one day we can fully get it together but it is really the thought that counts for me. I dont care if we are eating air sandwiches as long as its with MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN. lols and they had a bar cart! I was going in on green fairy absinthe and champagne. Reminded me of RL college days I made my own wormwood tincture.. I used to concoct all kinds of potions since very young. I started out in a coven in 3rd grade... but thats another story entirely !

We need to go back and buy this couples walker it was such a delightful thing lol even when it was glitching out we were walking on air and thats how I feel when I am around this man (and when he’s not being annoying because we are mirrors for one another lmao) Fairytales are not always a walk in the park, the beautiful moments only exist because you choose to make them happen. Our generation has to learn that great things do not always come quick, they can be easy sure but things that last take time.

[pilotjoans]

Nov. 20, 2023

Somehow, it always feels like once I finish one thing, three other things are added on. That even though I work for 9 hours straight, I somehow haven't made any progress in any of the projects I have. And literally this shit SUCKS!! :(

I'm trying to stay positive though, so here are three things I'm grateful for today:

positive feedback from all of my preceptors

my friends who are always there with me as I go through this volatile period of my life

my family for always supporting me behind the scenes

I know I'm competent and intelligent and personable, but I'm trying to get everyone else to see that, and it's tiring to have to always sell myself like I'm a product (which I guess I am ha). I just think about how in exactly 4 months from now, I'll know whether or not I'll be a resident or a community pharmacist and it's scary to see how much can change in that short amount of time. I've always had a hard time accepting change into my life because it always makes my life unstable and honestly, with all the shit going on with myself, I crave stability. So I try to avoid change and pretend it doesn't exist, but I feel it around me All The Time and it paralyzes me a lot, like too much. So I honestly think I need to re-evaluate my purpose, my interests and my own mindset because I want to live, I want to thrive, and none of that can happen until I do something about it.

Tonight is a catch-up night for all of the small things I need to get done, like finishing up my "strengths and weaknesses" to send to my preceptors for LORs, uploading their information onto the application portal, and finishing all remaining school assignments. It's a lot, but it's also all half-finished so I feel like if I just knock it all out tonight, it'll leave me in such a good position tomorrow. Cause then I'll only have my patient presentation and my Excel sheet for residency programs to work on :)

Hoping this week goes great because Thanksgiving is on Thursday!! And I get Thurs and Fri off thank god :3

On another note, I'm broke but I want to buy so much stuff during Cyber Monday pls hold me back fr

[phoebehalliwell]

could I just ask you ALL the questions? (minus any you've already answered of course)

lksdajglaks hell yeah bro (i'll also be skipping the ones require like fill in the blanks)

Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

no again like the charmed fandom isn't really like hella active so there's no like mass swarming 2 drive u mad which is nice

Have you received anon hate? What about?

like i'm sure i have but like idk about what prolly just like what i said was wrong or incorrect or something idk i usually just delete

Most disliked character(s)? Why?

i mean i never really liked cole :/ like he was fine in the beginning but i was never big on phole which was his big thing and then of course they tanked him so :|. like whatcha gonna do. i can respect the concept tho n julian does have some really good moments. i also don't like kyle bc he bugs the shit outta me but also i find him like So Fascinating like. like he's so interesting just the way he interacts with people like it's so. i personally have a headcanon that he really has trouble like connecting with people / like reading emotions or social cues which is why you know like he dropped that magic bomb with darryl and sheridan and had like no qualms about it and he has like this. it's not quite charm but he has like this. god i can't describe it but you know this kind of light playful tone with an underlying malice that he tends to present with most people upon first meeting but in like relationships he has skin in he's just like a lot more stiff i personally think there's not the same swagger that we see initially Which I Think is because again i don't think he can read people well and his early attitude is actually his impression of like. the leader of the evil kid gang he fell in when he was younger. someone who was a cool sauve leader who was afraid of nothing but people were afraid of him something that a young kyle who was like still like really afraid reeling from the trauma of the death of him parents really kind of worshipped as the perfect mask of strength and masculinity that then proceeded to really sail him through law enforcement you know so it is like his most comfortable mask but it is at the end of the day just some impression of a school bully. but of course this is just my own lil brain in canon kyle's like a bitch

Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

jack sheridan my beloved <3 also richard montana. i literally see a lame ass male character go is anyone gonna project onto that guy n then i don't wait for an answer. but like fr. he is literally me <3

Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

um continuing in the same vein calling it an arc might be generous but i fucking Love prue/jack so unreasonably much like. they're so fascinating. like. but beyond that i also liked paige's temp jobs which i think were kinda unpopular

Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

i mean again n/a bc this fandom's just so like chill. because the shows been off air. for like. 15 years. that being said. i do hate when people like. maliciously hate any the sisters. like you can just leave if ur having a bad time??

Unpopular opinion about the show?

i mean like. i don't think this is like. Unpopular per se. but like. it's gotta be said. like this wasn't really like a ""good"" show. like obvi we all love it but like some of it was like. really bad (lookin at u l8r season phoebe arcs 😡😡) idc tho bc i still fucking love this show. so much. but like. has 2 b said.

If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

ah jesus like just one thing? hmm. i guess if i get only one move it'd probably be to save prue idk how that would work per se because i love paige and piper's arc in s4 but killing off prue was just So Cruel it breaks my heart.

Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased?

i'm gonna level w u i think the phrasing of this q is so funny bc hell yeah ur biased it's called like having an opinion lol. but again in regards to charmed specifically it's So Fuckin Old that being in denial really no longer applies just because. like what's done is done and cannot be undone. that being said bianca didn't die lmao she n chris r fine

What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

😐. idk. some people read the text different then me & i'm all like no!! u don't see it the way i see it!! what the fuck!!!! but like. at the end of the day. i really don't fuckin care?? like u can be wrong and that's fine it doesn't affect me. & ik a lot of people probably feel the same way about me like you know i'm out here like pruejack <3 piperkyle <3 paigeleo <3 pruecole <3 like. i've got bad opinions. so at the end of the day it's really whatever. i'm really grateful that this fandom is like p quite and you know not insane and vicious and cutthroat bc liek bro calm down it's literally just pictures on a screen? but yes. some people have like. Wrong Opinions. but i let it go. zen.

What is the purest ship in the fandom?

that's a good fuckin question. paigeleo? lol. in canon and ik a lot of people probz won't like this but phoebecoop.

What are your thoughts on crack ships?

depends on how u define like crackship because like i get none of them are going to happen but if a crackship is defined as something i think is funny but i would never wanna actually see happen then i have like zero of them bc i am like dead serious about like damn near all my ships idc how stupid i'm like hell yeah i wish this would have happened in canon. piperkyle my beloved <3 that would have been so fuckin funny to go canon. like. like. so fuckin funny. would have loved it lol

Popular character you hate?

prolly cole bc he is popular and i just never loved him as much as everyone else i just never really liked what they did with him there are some episodes where i'm like hell yeah (see: the good the bad and the cursed) but for the most part i really don't care that much about him and the narrative Really Wants Me To Care

Unpopular character you love?

once again. richard & jack. <3

most shippable character?

tbh i feel like piper. just because we get so many sides of her in the show like she has a lot of character growth and that's really fun to work with that. beyond that i do love paige and she's usually my go-to for gay pairing bc look at her. she's gay.

[orthodoxydaily]

Saints&Reading: Wed., Mar, 17, 2021

Commemorated on March 4_by the new calendar

The Monk Gerasimus (475)

     The Monk Gerasimus was a native of Lycia (Asia Minor). From his early years he was distinguished for his piety. Having then accepted monasticism, the monk withdrew into the depths of the Thebaid wilderness (in Egypt). Thereafter, in about the year 450, the monk arrived in Palestine and settled at the Jordan, where he founded a monastery.      For a certain while Saint Gerasimus was tempted by the heresy of Eutykhios and Dioskoros, which acknowledged in Jesus Christ only the Divine nature, but not His human nature (i.e. the Monophysite heresy). The Monk Euthymios the Great (Comm. 20 January) helped him to return to the true faith.      At the monastery the Monk Gerasimus established a strict monastic rule. He spent five days of the week in solitude, occupying himself with handicrafts and prayer. On these days the wilderness dwellers did not eat cooked food, nor even kindle a fire, but rather ate only dry bread, roots and water. On Saturday and Sunday all gathered at the monastery for Divine Liturgy and to commune the Holy Mysteries of Christ. In the afternoon, taking with them a supply of bread, tubers, water and an armload of date-palm branches for weaving into baskets, the wilderness dwellers returned to their own cells. Each had only old clothes and a mat, upon which he slept. In exiting their cells, the door was never secured, so that anyone coming by could enter, and rest, or take along necessities.

     The Monk Gerasimus himself attained an high level of asceticism. During Great Lent he ate nothing until the very day of the All-Radiant Resurrection of Christ, when he communed the Holy Mysteries. Going out into the wilderness for the whole of Great Lent, the Monk Gerasimos took along with him his beloved disciple Blessed Kyriakos (Comm. 29 September), whom the Monk Euthymios had sent off to him.      At the time of the death of Saint Euthymios the Great, the Monk Gerasimus saw how Angels carried up the soul of the departed off to Heaven. Taking Kyriakos with him, the monk immediately set off to the monastery of Saint Euthymios and consigned his body to earth.      The Monk Gerasimus himself died peacefully, wept over by brethren and disciples. Before his death, a lion had aided the Monk Gerasimus in his tasks, and upon the death of the elder it too died at his grave and was buried nearby. And therefore the lion is depicted on icons of the saint, at his feet.

© 1996-2001 by translator Fr. S. Janos.

Holy Noble born Prince Daniel (Daniil) of Moscow  (1303)

     Holy Nobleborn Prince Daniel (Daniil) of Moscow was born at Vladimir in the year 1261. He was the fourth son of Saint Alexander Nevsky (Comm. 30 August and 23 November) and Righteous Vassa. Two years after birth he lost his father. The date of his mother's repose is not indicated in the chronicles; it is known only, that she was buried in the church in honour of the Nativity of Christ at the Vladimir Uspenie monastery (the Princess monastery), and the people in the surroundings venerated her as "Righteous" ("Pravedna").      In 1272 holy Prince Daniel received as his allotted portion the city of Moscow with its adjacent lands. The holy prince built on the banks of the River Moskva (Moscow) a church (and alongside it a monastery) in honour of his same-name patron saint, the Monk Daniel the Pillar-Dweller (Comm. 11 December). The Moscow principality was during this period small and unobtrusive. While growing up, holy Prince Daniel strengthened and expanded it, not in manners unjust or coercive, but instead benevolent and peace-loving. In Rus' it was a time of unrest. Fratricidal strife amongst the appanage princes was rife. And often, thanks to holy Prince Daniel, and his incessant striving for unity and peace in the Russian Land, bloodshed was averted. In 1293 his brother, the Great-prince Alexander Alexandrovich, together with Tatars summoned from the Horde and headed by Diuden ("the Diudenev Host"), laid waste to Russian cities: Murom, Suzdal', Kolomna, Dmitrov, Mozhaisk, Tver'. Prince Daniel decided to adjoin them to Moscow, to save their people from perishing. There was not the strength for resistance. Together with his people, the prince braced himself for terrible destruction and pillaging. Standing up for his rights, Saint Daniel was compelled to come out against his brother near a place, called Yur'evo Tolchische ("Yur'evo Threshing-Mill"), but here also the yearning for peace won out in him, and bloodshed was averted.

     In 1300, when the Ryazan prince Konstantin Romanovich, having summoned Tatars to his aid, was occupied in secret preparations for a sudden assault on the lands of the Moscow principality, Prince Daniel went with an army to Ryazan, and beating the enemy, he took captive Konstantin and destroyed a multitude of Tatars. This was a first victory over the Tatars, though not a tremendous victory, but it was noteworthy nonetheless – as a first push towards freedom. Having beaten the Ryazan prince and scattered his confederates the Tatars, holy Prince Daniel did not take advantage of his victory to seize foreign lands or take booty, as was the accepted custom during these times, but rather he displayed an example of true non-covetousness, love and fraternity. The holy prince never resorted to arms to seize the lands of others, nor did he ever snatch away the property of other princes either by force or by treachery. And for this the Lord saw fit to expand the boundaries of his princely realm. Ioann Dimitrievich, prince of Pereslavl'-Zalessk, a nephew of Daniel, was gentle and pious and benevolent towards the poor, and he esteemed and loved his uncle; dying childless in 1302, he bequeathed his principality to Saint Daniel. The Pereslavlsk lands together with Dmitrov were, after Rostov, foremost in number of inhabitants, with corresponding fortification befitting a major city. Pereslavl'-Zalessk was well protected on all sides. But the holy prince remained faithful to Moscow and did not transfer the capital of his princedom to the stronger and more significant seat of the Pereslavl' of this period. This annexation moved Moscow up to be numbered as the most significant principality. And here was set in place the principle of the unification of the Russian Land into a single powerful realm.      How wondrous over the expanse of ages was clearly manifest the Providential Will of God concerning the Russian Land and its destiny!      Grateful in remembrance of the constant Blessing of the Hodegetria ("Way-Guide Mother of God) both in his personal life, and also in the life of the Russian realm, Saint Daniel's father – Saint Alexander Nevsky, had expressed it in the words: "God is not in might, but in right!".      In 1303 Saint Daniel fell seriously ill. He assumed the monastic great-schema and commanded that he be buried at the Danilov monastery. Through deep humility he wanted to be buried not within the church, but in the common monastery cemetery. The holy prince died on 4 March.      Within the passage of less than 30 years after the repose of holy Prince Daniel, the Danilov monastery founded by him was transformed into the Moscow Kremlin, the church was transformed into a parish church, and the cemetery became non-monastic. During the time of Great-prince Ivan III (1462-1505), the Monk-prince Daniel gave reminders of himself to his forgetful descendents. As a stranger he appeared to a youth attendant on the great-prince and said: "Be not afraid of me – I was a Christian and the master of this place, my name is Daniel Prince of Moscow, and by the will of God I am here. Tell about me to Great-prince Ioann (Ivan) saying: thou delightest thyself while yet having forgotten me, but God hath not forgotten me". And after this it was that the great-prince established the singing of cathedral panikhidas for his ancestral princes. During the time tsar Ivan the Terrible, at the grave of Saint Daniel was healed the dying son of a barge merchant. The tsar, struck by the miracle, renovated the ancient Danilov monastery and established a yearly church procession, made by the metropolitan to the place of burial of the holy prince, serving there a panikhida.      In 1652 holy Monk-prince Daniel was glorified with the uncovering of his incorrupt relics, which on 30 August were transferred to the church in honour of the Holy Fathers of the Seventh OEcumenical Council.      The holy relics were placed in a reliquary "to the glorifying of the Holy Trinity and for the healing of the infirm". The Moscow metropolitan Platon (+ 1812), in the Vita of the holy prince compiled by him, writes: "This original founder laid the foundation of present-day majestic Moscow, going about this with quiet steps upon a small foot-path. And thus as with any edifice, built not with extreme haste but the rather instead with great artifice and skill, doth receive a particular solidity and doth stand indestructible for a long time; and just as a tall tree growing for many a century, and having started first of all with a small sprout, and thickeneth little by little, with its branches spreading about far around, so also was it needful for this city to grow from the small, but solid root, in order that its first glimmer not beshadow the eyes of the envious, and that initially it not be disturbed or felled early on, but rather grow up to its true height. Thus did this founder prepare the great city given him; though small, but shining uninterrupted by any wafting of the wind, he did bequeathe the great glory of its rise to his son Great-prince Ioann (Ivan) Danilovich, called Kalita".

All texts©1996-2001 by translator Fr. S. Janos.

Isaiah 2:3-11

3 Many people shall come and say, “Come, and let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, To the house of the God of Jacob; He will teach us His ways, And we shall walk in His paths.” For out of Zion shall go forth the law, And the word of the Lord from Jerusalem. 4 He shall judge between the nations, And rebuke many people; They shall beat their swords into plowshares, And their spears into pruning hooks; Nation shall not lift up sword against nation, Neither shall they learn war anymore. 5 O house of Jacob, come and let us walk In the light of the Lord. 6 For You have forsaken Your people, the house of Jacob, Because they are filled with eastern ways; They are soothsayers like the Philistines, And they are pleased with the children of foreigners.7 Their land is also full of silver and gold, And there is no end to their treasures; Their land is also full of horses, And there is no end to their chariots.8 Their land is also full of idols; They worship the work of their own hands, That which their own fingers have made.9 People bow down, And each man humbles himself; Therefore do not forgive them.10 Enter into the rock, and hide in the dust, From the terror of the Lord And the glory of His majesty. 11 The lofty looks of man shall be humbled, The haughtiness of men shall be bowed down, And the Lord alone shall be exalted in that day.

Proverbs 2:1-22 

1 My son, if you receive my words, And treasure my commands within you,2 So that you incline your ear to wisdom, And apply your heart to understanding; 3 Yes, if you cry out for discernment, And lift up your voice for understanding, 4 If you seek her as silver, And search for her as for hidden treasures; 5 Then you will understand the fear of the Lord, And find the knowledge of God. 6 For the Lord gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding; 7 He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk uprightly; 8 He guards the paths of justice, And preserves the way of His saints. 9 Then you will understand righteousness and justice, Equity and every good path. 10 When wisdom enters your heart, And knowledge is pleasant to your soul, 11 Discretion will preserve you; 12 To deliver you from the way of evil, From the man who speaks perverse things, 13 From those who leave the paths of uprightness To walk in the ways of darkness; 14 Who rejoice in doing evil, And delight in the perversity of the wicked; 15 Whose ways are crooked, And who are devious in their paths;16 To deliver you from the immoral woman, From the seductress who flatters with her words, 17 Who forsakes the companion of her youth, And forgets the covenant of her God.18 For her house leads down to death, And her paths to the dead; 19 None who go to her return, Nor do they regain the paths of life— 20 So you may walk in the way of goodness, And keep to the paths of righteousness. 21 For the upright will dwell in the land, And the blameless will remain in it; 22 But the wicked will be cut off from the earth, And the unfaithful will be uprooted from it.

[skamamoroma]

What would you do if Nico got a season?

LISTEN. LISTENNNNN.

I put that out of my head a long long time ago because we knew for sure that Even and all parallels were under these infamous “blocks” and because of Skam Fr we knew that Even and Vilde were 100% subject to them.

Gio has always been the one I dreamed ofmainly because we had suggestions that Jonas was a blocked character but I reckon there’s more chance of his than Even or Vilde who were ALWAYS the ones most likely to have the next season in the og. Even if it was also highly likely to be impossible. But Elia was always my second option and the most and perhaps only likely candidate!!

I just didn’t consider Nico at all. Not at all because I didn’t want a season for him, but only because I just dismissed it as absolutely impossible. I still think it is 😂

But if we ever got gifted that kind of thing in this shit show of a world then I’d forgive Besse for all of his hatred for us and bow at his bloody feet! Hahahahaha

I can only IMAGINE the level of metaphor and depth he’d bring to Nico. Besse, by his own admission, likes to see people who are very different from himself in how they live their lives and he did so so well with Marti and Sana (especially so) and evening with Eva who he made into a complex young girl with many layers and imperfections but also strength and honesty ❤️ but I feel like he likes to cast a light on folks who don’t often get that focus (which I guess was what Og Skam was all about) and I think he enjoys the research process. He THREW himself into Sana’s season and you can tell he loves Nico.

What Besse has done with Nico since day one is blissful. He doesn’t treat him with kid gloves but he also respects the hell out of him. Nico is allowed to mess up but Besse never suggests there’s anything wrong with that and I am so grateful for that. Nico is constantly treated with this gentle touch. The whole hide and seek scene is a prime example... the way he gave Nico that backstory, the way he never forgets his vulnerabilities but also frames him as one of life’s triers, someone who has so much strength. The METAPHORS in s2 still make me weep. Lord. They’re genuinely bloody genius. The way he used Stefano Benni’s poem in the most heart aching way, giving Nico so much depth. I could go on and on. I think he’d genuinely do a spectacular job. I say it constantly but Nico as a metaphor to Marti’s literal approach to life means that Nico has consistently been surrounded by that stuff and Besse gets off o that 😂 and it just happens to be my thing too. Plus, “la giraffa” quote has a place in my heart now (I have a bloody giraffe on my wall for gods sake!) and has becomes so much a part of Nico as it has one of the show’s lovely little emblems. Besse could absolutely go to town for Nico. Seeing Besse saying he’d love to see it is heartwarming but Besse clearly hasn’t got a damn clue about the character rights restrictions so I don’t think we can read too much into that... unless he thinks having Netflix on board makes a difference for Skam It in comparison to other remakes but who the heck knows.

Also it’d selfishly give me a shit ton of Marti and the boys (and Nico and Luchino bonding over art please!), Sana and the Rose squad... and Dottor Spera (GIVE ME A NICO AND SPERA SCENE - I don’t care if they’re not at school anymore)...and I’ve always said it would be magical if we ever got an Even season. But I just don’t see it as a possibility. No other remake has been able to (despite wanting to) who why would Besse be any different. In a parallel universe, we are lucky enough!

But to answer your question, you’d find me weeping on the god damn floor of that ever happened.

[pamphletstoinspire]

Story About The Second Sunday after Easter. (Latin Calendar)

by Fr. Raphael Frassinetti, 1900

Gospel. John x. 11-16. At that time Jesus said to the Pharisees: I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd giveth his life for his sheep. But the hireling and he that is not the shepherd, whose own the sheep are not, seeth the wolf coming and leaveth the sheep, and flieth: and the wolf catcheth and scattereth the sheep: and the hireling flieth, because he is a hireling, and he hath no care for the sheep. I am the good shepherd: and I know mine, and mine know me. As the Father knoweth me, and I know the Father: and I lay down my life for my sheep. And other sheep I have, that are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice, and there shall be one fold and one shepherd.

“I Am the Good Shepherd.” This Our Lord says of Himself. Our Lord had other titles, as Jesus, Saviour, Redeemer, Master, Advocate, King of peace, Our Reconciliation, all signifying His love for mankind. Are you, my dear young people, glad of the title of good Shepherd, which Our Lord gives Himself? Yes, the title is a beautiful one; it is full of consolation and of love. He gives Himself this title in order to gain our affection and our entire heart. How good Jesus is to us, His lambs and sheep!–What care does He not take of us? He speaks to our hearts words of eternal life, and His holy inspiration illumines our mind and makes us know His goodness. He takes us up tenderly, and brings us to delightful pastures. He nourishes our souls with His holy word, by the words of His priests; He feeds us with bread which is not of this world, the Bread of angels, His sacred body and blood. Was there ever a shepherd who gave his body and blood for food to his flock? Generally the flock is a source of revenue, support, and sustenance to the shepherd; but not so in the case of this Good Shepherd. He supports and sustains His flock.

Of course the shepherd will fight for his flock, he will use every means in his power to protect it from ravage, but the Good Shepherd gives His life for His flock. O, infinite love! What pains and suffering didst Thou not endure for Thy sheep! Just think of Jesus crucified; look at Him nailed to the cross; see that face all covered with bruises; those eyes half closed with blood; those shoulders torn by stripes; that side opened by a lance; those hands and feet pierced with nails, and that head crowned with sharp thorns. All this, all these wounds, the Good Shepherd suffered for His poor lost sheep. Then what should we do on our part? Oh, give Him at least a little recognition, gratitude, obedience, and love– if nothing more than to receive Him on the great festivals of the year. This good Shepherd will love you with all affection and give you His choicest blessings.

There are, on the contrary, many restless, ill-regulated, sickly, plague-stricken sheep who have to be thrown out of the flock, because they continually disobey Him and make Him feel the sadness of having shown kindness in vain. He would like to bring them to good pastures that they might recover from their maladies, and become useful members of the flock again, but they will not listen to His voice. He calls them to the use of the sacraments, but it is in vain; He calls them about Him to be His escort and companions, but they would rather be far away from Him; they want to feed their souls on poisonous food; they do not like the restraint of being near the holy Jesus. They have left the fountains of living water which ran to eternal life. They have looked for water and found filthy broken cisterns.

Among you, my dear youthful friends, there are many wayward sheep also. This Good Shepherd seeks to bring them back to the fold, but many are obstinate, blind, and wicked, and will not hear His voice. He invites them with sweet and coaxing words; He makes them feel the qualms of conscience; He embitters the cup of vice from which they are drinking and takes peace and happiness away from them. But these wicked sheep will not listen and continually say by their works, “No, I will have nothing to do with you.” What more should this Good Shepherd do to gain them and to bring them back to His flock? Can you suggest something? Is it possible that God will not succeed in attracting them to Him? Will He not succeed when He promises them the kingdom of paradise? He must and will get angry some time; He will abandon them and deny them the help of His grace, and then they will fall from one sin to another. How many young people, my dear friends, are in such a state. In early youth they become vessels of wrath, and if God still tolerates them, the day of vengeance will come, the day on which God will separate the bad from the good. And to the bad He will say, “Depart from Me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire.”

Now, there is still time to change your way of living; you can become the well-loved lambs and sheep of the flock of Christ, instead of being the despised rams that the Shepherd does not tolerate near Him. Go to Him and show your sorrow, and He will take you on His shoulders, for He is waiting and looking for you. He is watching you in your wanderings, and at the first sign of repentance, of weakness, or of fainting, He hastens to your side, He raises you on His shoulders, and carries you back to the fold which you would not have been able to reach with your wasted strength.

My young friends, we are all sheep of the flock of Christ; we are His by redemption and by the grace of almighty God. Be always obedient to Him, hear His voice, and walk continually in His footsteps. Would you walk securely in the midst of this world, so full of danger and snares? The only means is to allow yourselves to be guided by God. If you would please the divine Shepherd, imitate Him in His divine virtues, in His kindness and obedience, like good sheep who are willing to be led. The divine Shepherd having loved His flock on this earth, will call them all to the enjoyment of heavenly pastures and will quench their thirst “At the torrents of joy” which He provides for us in heaven. 

by Leonard Goffine, 1871

Because of the joyous resurrection of Christ, and the graces flowing to us on account of it, the Church sings at the Introit of Mass: The earth is full of the mercy of the Lord, Alleluia, by the word of the Lord the heavens were established, Alleluia, Alleluia. Rejoice in the Lord O ye just: praise becometh the upright. (Ps. xxxii.) Glory, &c.

PRAYER OF THE CHURCH. O God, who, by the humiliation of Thy Son, hast raised up the fallen world: grant to Thy people perpetual joy: that They whom thou hast delivered from the danger of everlasting death, may arrive at eternal happiness. Through, &c.

EPISTLE. (i. Peter ii. 21 – 25) Dearly Beloved: Christ also suffered for us, leaving you an example that you should follow his steps. Who did no sin, neither was guile found in His mouth. Who when He was reviled, did not revile: when He suffered, he threatened not: but delivered Himself to him that judged Him unjustly: who His own self bore our sins in His body upon the tree: that we being dead to sins, should live to justice: by whose stripes you were healed. For you were as sheep going astray: but you are now converted to the shepherd and bishop of your souls.

EXPLANATION St. Paul teaches the Christians patience in misery and afflictions, even in unjust persecution, and for this purpose places before them the example of Christ who though most innocent, suffered most terribly and so patiently. Are we true sheep of the good shepherd if at the smallest cross, at every word, we become so angry and impatient?

ASPIRATION. O Lord Jesus! grant me the grace to follow Thee, my good Shepherd, and not to complain and make threats whenever I am reprimanded, reviled, or for justice's sake am persecuted.

GOSPEL. (John x. 11 – 16.) At That Time: Jesus said to the Pharisees: I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd giveth his life for his sheep. But the hireling and he that is not the shepherd, whose own the sheep are not, seeth the wolf coming and leaveth the sheep, and flieth, and the wolf catcheth, and scattereth the sheep: and the hireling flieth, because he is a hireling; and he hath no care for the sheep. I am the good shepherd: and I know mine, and mine know me, as the Father knoweth me, and I know the Father: and I lay down my life for my sheep. And other sheep I have, that are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice, and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd.

In what way has Christ proved Himself a good shepherd?

In this that He sacrificed His life for those who did not yet love Him, and could not reward Him, even for His enemies (John iv. 30.; Rom. v. 8.), and has besides given Himself to them for their food.

How are we to know if we are among the sheep of Christ, that is, His chosen ones?

By this, if we willingly listen to the voice of the shepherd in sermons and instructions, in spiritual books and conversations, are obedient to it, and especially give ear and follow the rules of the Church through which the good Shepherd speaks to us (Luke x. 16.), “for he,” says St. Augustine, “who has not the Church for his mother, will not have God for his father;” if we gladly receive the food of the good Shepherd, that is, His sacredbody and blood in holy Communion; if we are patient and meek as a lamb, freely forgiving our enemies; if we love all men from our heart, do only good to them, and seek to bring them to Jesus.

Who are the other sheep of Christ?

The gentiles who were not of the fold of Israel, whom Christ sought to bring by His disciples, and now by their successors, into His fold.–Among these sheep we also, through our ancestors, belonged. O how grateful we should be to God, that He has brought us into the fold of His Church, and how diligently we should conduct ourselves as good sheep!

When will there be but one fold and one shepherd?

When by the Church's prayers and by her missionaries all nations shall be converted to the only saving Church, constituting then one Church under one head. Let us pray that this may soon come to pass.

PRAYER O Lord Jesus! Thou good Shepherd who on the cross didst give Thy life for Thy sheep, grant us, we beseech Thee, by Thy death, the grace to bear upon ourselves all the signs of Thy lambs, that we may be one day numbered among Thy chosen ones in heaven.

DOCTRINE OF HOPE I give my life for my sheep. (John x. 15.)

What has Christ won for us by His death?

The remission of our sins, the grace to lead a god-pleasing life, and eternal happiness, for which we now firmly hope, with secure confidence may now expect, and most assuredly will obtain, if we do not ourselves let it go.

In what does eternal happiness consist?

In the clear vision of God, which includes the most perfect love of Him, by which those who are saved, become, as it were, one with Him, possessing in this union everything that they could possibly desire.

What are the necessary means of obtaining eternal happiness?

The grace of God, that is, His continual assistance; the practice of the three divine virtues: faith, hope, and love; the keeping of God's commandments; the frequent use of the holy Sacraments, and constant prayer. These means must be diligently employed, for “God who,” as St. Augustine says, “created us without us, will not save us without us,” that is, without our cooperation.

What may especially enable us to hope for eternal happiness?

The infinite mercy and goodness of God, who from all eternity has loved us more than an earthly mother, and because of this love did not even spare His only begotten Son, but gave Him up, for our sake, to the bitterest death. Will He then deny us heaven, who in giving us His Son, has given us more than heaven itself?

The fidelity of God: He has so often promised us eternal happiness, and in so many texts of Scripture so clearly explained, that He wishes us to be saved, that He must keep His promise, for He is eternal truth and cannot possible lie or deceive. (Hebr. vi. 18.) He says not yes today, and no tomorrow, there is no change in Him, nor shadow of alteration. (James i. 17.) The omnipotence of God, who can do “all that He pleases, whom no one can oppose or prevent from doing what He will; if now we have confidence in a rich and honest man who assures us, he will assist us in need, how much more should we hope in the best, most faithful, and all powerful God!

When should we make acts of hope?

As soon as we come to the use of reason and are sufficiently instructed concerning this virtue and its motives; in time of trouble or of severe temptation against this virtue; when receiving the holy Sacraments; every day in the morning or evening, and especially at the hour of death. The same things are to be observed in making acts of faith and of love. 

[heoneyology]

are you taking requests??? if you are and only if it’s not a problem!!! can i request the fluff #2 (“is there a reason you’re blushing like that?”) with seonghwa? ily thank you in advance 💝💝

aHHH YUKI I AM SORRY THIS TOOK A WHILE??? also I am so sorry it’s so long oh my god…

—fluff; prompt 2; “Is there a reason you’re blushing like that?”

Laughter surrounds you, picking up until it has almost deafeningly spread among your friend group as something is said. Infectiously, it spreads through each one of you, finally overtaking you. You stumble, almost spilling out of the restaurant under the added weight of another after your friend group as the laughter overtakes you.

Immediately, Yunho turns around and is grabbing that extra baggage by the name of Park Seonghwa—your childhood best friend—that you’re carrying, shifting the weight of his drunken self you’re helping support so you can recollect yourself.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Yunho asks, and you nod, laughter subsiding.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just wasn’t expecting that to be so funny and I tripped.”

Yunho chuckles, but a worried expression flashes in his eyes as he glances between you and the slumped over Seonghwa, who is barely holding himself up on his own two feet, even with your help.

“Are you sure you can get him home by yourself?” Yunho asks, before sighing and shaking his head. “Why did he even drink so much?”

“He said something about having a hard time lately!” Hongjoong offers up from somewhere over Yunho’s shoulder, the drunken lilt in his own tone making you question how reliable of a source he was.

You rolled your eyes, mostly at Yunho’s concern, though you couldn’t help but consider Hongjoong’s words a little more. “Don’t worry so much, I’ll be fine. I’ve been his best friend for more than ten years. Getting him home in this state is a non issue.”

Yunho frowns at you, but nods slowly. Pursing your lips slightly, you pull your phone out of your pocket and fiddle with the screen a bit, before holding it up to him—displayed on the screen is a map.

“Look. Already called an uber. Don’t worry so much. You think I want to willingly drag this deadweight home?” You’d already done that enough in your high school days, when drinking behind your parents’ backs at your secret midnight hideout was something the two of you considered cool.

“Smart girl,” Yunho notes.

“Duh.”

After some drunken struggling and some more antics from Hongjoong, San, and Wooyoung—and attempted corralling from Jongho, the youngest who couldn’t drink, and the rest of the group, who had had the least to drink that night—you part ways with the group for the night, sharing “goodbyes” and “get home safes.” Of course, it takes a few more minutes after that, considering the second the first goodbye is uttered, San turns into an emotional drunk who thinks everyone is parting ways forever—which ends up being a contagious emotion that spreads to Wooyoung, and suddenly has the two turned into blubbering idiots.

Thankfully, Hongjoong ends up wandering off in a drunken stupor, commenting about the pretty street lights being fireflies—and forcing the rest of the group to follow, dragging the two crying drunks forcefully along with them.

Once quiet befalls the area, you let out a sigh. You’re suddenly grateful Seonghwa is a tired drunk. He’d always been easy to care for. Though getting him home, especially in the past during your teenage rebellion years, had always been an issue considering tired drunk often translated to passed out upright.

Shifting his weight on your shoulder causes him to grumble under his breath, and you glance at him curiously. As you wait for the uber to arrive, you can’t help but think back to Hongjoong’s words—“He said something about having a hard time lately!” A hard time with what? What could be bothering him so much lately, that he had to turn to taking a night to drink as much as he did? He wasn’t a lightweight, but he was usually very mindful of his alcohol intake. He hadn’t been tonight, though.

“Why didn’t you just come to me first, if something was wrong?” You wonder aloud, mostly under your breath.

As the thought voiced aloud, turns over in your head once more, you study his strong features. Due to his drowsiness, they’re softened significantly. Seonghwa’s eyes are half-lidded, lashes fluttering against his sharp cheekbones as his lids twitch every now and again—lost somewhere between a state of consciousness and unconsciousness. His breath comes deeply, inhaling and exhaling, and you can’t help but notice the pout of his full lips, bottom lip jutting out.

Shaking your head and ridding yourself the image of his lips, you glance away.

Maybe nothing was wrong, and Seonghwa just wanted to let loose, a little. There was no reason to worry! After all, the words of a drunk, mulleted man spewing nonsense about street lamps being fireflies didn’t exactly fall under the category of a trustworthy source.

As the uber finally arrives, you have to shift Seonghwa’s weight again on your shoulder to open the car door, practically shoving him inside the vehicle. He let out slurred grumbles as you do so, and when you’re situated, you verify the address of your apartment with the driver before settling yourself back against the seat. As the car rolls forward, Seonghwa’s head rolls and lands on your shoulder. Accustomed to this sort of proximity with him, you don’t even glance his way.

However, the words that leave Seonghwa’s mouth next—barely a whisper against your ear, and you’re almost certain you’ve imagined them—do cause you to glance at him in surprise: “I really am having a lot of trouble lately…” He mumbles. For someone so out of it, the words aren’t as unintelligible as you’d expect.

“What?” You whisper, peering at him curiously. When nothing is immediately said, you give your shoulder a small shrug, watching as his head bobs. For the moments that pass, nothing but deep breathing comes from Seonghwa, and you frown, glancing away and out the window.

You start in surprise when you feel Seonghwa’s head roll back and forth on your shoulder, an imperativeness to the action that has you pulling your gaze away from the window, just as he whines, “It really is so hard, liking you, Y/N. I’m having so much trouble lately.” His words have the lilt of alcohol, slurred, but coherent enough for you to raise your brows at his declaration in surprise.

In your chest, you feel your heart stutter in surprise. “What?”

Though his voice has risen, you still aren’t quite sure you’ve heard his words—not just correctly, but at all. You glance at the driver, noting through the rearview mirror that their lips are twitching in amusement at the sudden drunken confession taking place in the backseat of their car.

Seonghwa, however, is in his own world, and doesn’t hear your shocked question. There’s a drunken determination as he continues, somewhere between his half-asleep, half-conscious state—possibly unaware that you’re even listening to him. “Yunho was being too nice to you tonight! I didn’t like it!”

You bite your lip. Yunho? Being too nice? That was his standard personality. Was Seonghwa playing some sort of joke? People were supposedly more honest when they were drunk, right…? That’s what you had heard, anyway.

“I like you,” as he says it, Seonghwa turns his face into your shoulder, and you stiffen, surprise deepening further. “So much. Too much. For too long. It’s not fair, you don’t notice…”

But you have noticed, you think to yourself. Or rather, you’d noticed Seonghwa—maybe not his feelings, but you’d noticed your own feelings, for him. You couldn’t really remember when, exactly, they’d come about and when the realization had dawned on you. You’d always been so comfortable around him, and he’d been your friend for so long that things were always so comfortable in his presence. But somewhere along the way, there were specific smiles, specific actions, and specific words that would cause your heart to lurch in your chest and butterflies to form in your stomach.

You’re almost grateful when the car finally rolls to a stop, practically suffocating with Seonghwa’s words that hang heavy in the air and your own emotions in a turmoil. Thanking the driver, you pull Seonghwa out of the car with all of your strength, coaxing him as needed until he’s slumped against you for support again and you’re on the way up the stairs to your apartment. It takes a great effort, a lot of patience, and a lot of time for you to finally make it up the stairs and into the comfort of your home.

You deposit Seonghwa on the couch, as you have done so many times before. You manage to pull his jacket off, find a blanket and extra pillow, and making sure he’s rolled and propped onto his side, with a wastepaper basket within reach just in case he decides to get sick. You can’t remember the last time Seonghwa had been so drunk he’d gotten sick, though. Once you’re certain he’ll be fine on his own for a few, you head off to take a shower and wash out the smell of charcoal, barbecue, and alcohol from your hair and off your body.

In comfy pajamas, you head back to the living room and take up the arm chair, where you watch Seonghwa dutifully, in case he does get sick. At some point, you doze off.

When you wake up the next morning, it’s the insistent opening and closing of your kitchen cabinets—a noise that startles you awake. You blink, trying to push past the drowsiness, glancing around in slight alarm as you take in your surroundings, not remembering falling asleep.

“Tea, tea, tea—what the heck, where did the tea get moved to?” Seonghwa is mumbling to himself from the kitchen grumbling with every cupboard he opens and closes, his search for what he’s looking for coming up empty-handed each time. By the time he reaches the last few cupboards, he’s groaning, a hand coming to his forehead and a complaint about a pounding headache falling from his mouth.

“Tea boxes are in the drawer next to the stove now—” You call softly as a yawn falls from your lips. With the yawn, the last of your exhaustion leaves you, and realization starts to settle over you.

The dinner last night. Seonghwa’s drunk confession. Seonghwa sleeping on your couch—which wasn’t new, but meant something different, this time.

Seonghwa, having finally found some tea, turns around finally. “Finally,” the desperate relief in his voice is audible. “Thank you, I’d been looking for so—wait, Y/N, why are you blushing?”

“What?” You squeak out, hands darting up to your face. Sure enough, you can feel the blood that has pooled to your cheeks as you cup your face in your hands. “I-I’m not.”

Seonghwa is quick to discard the box of tea bags, moving from the kitchen to the living room. He stops in front of your arm chair, leaning down close and immediately pressing a palm against your forehead. “Is there a reason you’re blushing like that? Or are you sick? Maybe hungover, too?”

“No!” You drop your hands from your face, shoving his hand away quickly.

“Then why—” Seonghwa’s question falls from his lips, as he studies you. There’s curiosity in his eyes at first, and he studies you—the way you’re stiff under his gaze, the blush that taints your cheeks, the hard set of your jaw and the wild look in your eyes.

He’s known you for years. He knows how to read you like an open book. The two of you had practically grown up together.

It doesn’t take long for the curiosity in Seonghwa’s eyes to dim to realization, then darken to a sort of deep-rooted panic. “Oh my god,” he breaths out, suddenly jumping back from you.

“Why are you blushing like that?!” You throw the question back at him, watching as a pink tint flushes over his face.

He throws his hands over his face instead of answering. “Oh my god, I thought that was a dream!”

[daedriclorde]

Krent Mon Do Akatosh

Homecoming; Chapter 3, “Two Shadows”

Read the whole thing here on Ao3!

“Is it really you, lass?” Brynjolf pulled off his hood and cowl.

Aerisif’s blood stained dagger clattered to the floor. Her whole body was trembling. She managed to pull off her hood, revealing her raven hair and silvery eyes, before she began to fall.

A strong pair of arms caught her.

Aerisif clung to Brynjolf as he lowered them both to the floor, leaning against the small bed, neither releasing the other.

With tender hands, Brynjolf pulled down Aerisif’s cowl, revealing the rest of her face. “Gods. Gods, it’s you. You’re alive.” Brynjolf croaked.

Aerisif still trembled, but gripped his arms even tighter. “You didn’t die,” she whispered, summoning the courage to look him in the eye. “You’re alive.” Blood was rushing through her veins faster than she thought possible.

Brynjolf chuckled through choked sobs. “It will take more than a few Imperials to take me down,” He stroked her hair and sniffed. “But how did you survive? Helgen burned,” his face turned somber again. “I searched for you.” Fresh tears from old wounds sprouted in his eyes. “When word got out that both Tullius and Ulfric survived a dragon attack at Helgen, I went to them both.” He spoke slowly, as if each word brought him pain.  “If they had been there, they might have seen you. Tullius had no knowledge of you whatsoever. Ulfric told me that he had seen you escape the first inferno, but couldn’t say whether you had made it out beyond that.”

Aerisif rested her head on Brynjolf’s shoulder as he continued. “I kept searching. I even went to Helgen, to search for your body, but the corpses…” He shuddered. “There was no way to know.” Brynjolf let a sob escape. “After a while, when there was no sign of you, I…I lost hope.”

The two held each other in silence for a moment, but the tenderness soon turned to tension. “Why did you not come home?” Brynjolf whispered.

Where do I even begin? Aerisif felt her heart in throat. “I…” she cleared her throat. “I thought you were dead. One of the prisoners, he said they killed you. It was my fault,” Hot tears were overflowing from her eyes. She could feel Brynjolf looking at her, but she couldn’t face his stare. “I killed you. I was responsible, and I couldn’t live with myself for that.” She breathed in deep. “I was sent to Helgen to be executed and I wanted to die.” Aerisif shivered. She had never said that aloud before, that truth. Giving voice to it was powerful. She almost laughed. Of course, my voice gives power to anything.

She was pulled from her thoughts as Brynjolf cupped her face and turned her head so he could look her in the eyes. “Lass,” he breathed. “You were not responsible. No one could have blamed you, had I died.”

Aerisif began to stammer an argument, but Brynjolf quieted her with a kiss on her forehead softer than a butterfly. Her chest burst with flickering torchbugs at his touch. “It wasn’t your fault.” He rested his forehead on hers, and she soaked in the intimacy. Gods, I had forgotten this feeling, Aerisif realized. To be loved. The sweetness of his touch soured to poison in her stomach as it mingled with her guilt and shame.

“You can’t know that. If you had died by my own carelessness, which I thought you did, Delvin and Vex and the Guild would never trust me again. I couldn’t bear it… it was easier to be dead. It was easier to not exist than it was to mourn you.” Her voice was fragile. The tears streamed down her face again.

Brynjolf pulled her into his chest. “Shhh, it’s okay. I’m alive, you’re alive.” He stroked her hair. Aerisif’s breath was choppy as she tried to hold back the emotion caught in her throat. She thought she might suffocate from the shame she felt.

“How did,” She caught her breath. “How did you survive? He told me he saw you die.”

Brynjolf inhaled and tore one arm away to run his fingers through his hair. The thief was grateful Aerisif could not see his face as he struggled to answer.

What do I tell her? “It’s true, the wound that Imperial dealt should have killed me. While they were packing up camp, I tried to break us both out, and like you, I was caught. As it turns out, Imperials are made of sturdier stuff than jail guards. One ran her sword through me and left me to die in the woods while they rolled out to Helgen.” He stopped and rubbed his hand over his abdomen. “I thought it was the end.”

Aerisif looked up at his broken face. With shaky breath, he continued on. “I passed out from the blood loss, and I don’t know how long I was out. I would have died there, but for the priest who found my half dead body in the dirt.” That’s not…wholly untrue. Brynjolf released the breath he didn’t realize he had been holding.

She pulled him closer. “Perhaps we ought to steal less from the temples, then.” She attempted a smile.

Brynjolf broke away suddenly. “But you!” He look bewildered. “How did you survive Helgen? And a dragon attack? And what have you been doing since?”

Aerisif felt her head tingle. What to say to him?

She inhaled slowly and focused on a knot in the wood floor. “I was laid down on the headman’s block,” she began shakily, “When the dragon landed on the tower above. And somehow, I moved out of the way before he set ablaze where I had just been.”

She worried at the end of a strap on her boots as she continued, still unable to meet his eyes. “Something changed in me when I saw that dragon. Suddenly I didn’t want to die anymore.” She swallowed. “Never stopped resenting myself for that,” Aerisif felt Brynjolf’s expression deepen but still could not bear to see what his features held. “I made it out with the help of a Stormcloak, Ralof I think. We realized that Riverwood was in imminent danger, and I went on to Whiterun to warn the Jarl. While there, another dragon attacked.”

Brynjolf sucked in his breath. “That’s a lot of dragon in a short period.”

Aerisif had to let out a laugh. “Yes, it certainly is.” She paused, unsure of how to continue. “You were all aware of the return of the dragons? Down in the Guild?”

“How could we not? In addition to the war and Thalmor giving our business trouble, now there are dragons to boot! Aye, lass, we knew about the dragons.”

She drummed up the strength to face him again. “Did you know why?”

Brynjolf scratched his head. “I did hear some madman in the Vaults say it was the end of the world, or the World-Eater? Some nonsense like that.”

“Did he mention Alduin? Or a Dragonborn?”

Brynjolf thought a moment, then looked at Aerisif curiously. “Aye, he did. Reminded me of my days as a boy, hearing the superstitious old women talk about the legend of the Dragonborn. How do you know this?”

Aerisif looked down, swallowed, and fixed him with her steely eyes. “It’s all true, Brynjolf, all of it. It’s me. I’m the Dragonborn.”

He looked at her blankly for a moment. “It’s real? Alduin? The end of the world?”

Aerisif nodded solemnly.

“And you…you’re the Dragonborn?”

She nodded again.

Brynjolf blinked, and it seemed as if his thoughts were somewhere else. “Lass?” he finally asked.

Aerisif gulped. “Yes?”

“Stay with me tonight,” Brynjolf pleaded.

Aerisif started to panic. “I…I can’t face the Guild, Bryn. It’s too much, I only just found you, I can’t—“

Brynjolf cut her off with a hand. “Not in the cistern. We can use Riftweald, the Guild still hasn’t found a use for it.”

She thought about it for a moment, then nodded. “Let’s go.”

Without a single word or exchanged glance, the pair of thieves looted the corpse. Aerisif delicately removed the blood encrusted pendants from the bandit’s thick neck while Brynjolf cut the coin purse from his belt in one slick move. Aerisif checked the chest in the room and Brynjolf patted the dead man down for any more treasure. Satisfied that they had collected what there was to rob, they stood.

Aerisif studied the mess on the floor. “Sorry, Keerava,” she whispered, and two shadows slipped from the room, hiding their features under their midnight leathers.

Sneaking through the quieting tavern and out the door, Brynjolf and Aerisif found Riften to be silent and asleep. They padded across the boarded walkway toward Riften’s stone residences.

Is this really happening? Aerisif head spun as she struggled to process the night. She had long abandoned hope in her heart that Brynjolf lived. She had changed so much since Helgen, transformed.

They arrived at the shadowed doorstep quickly. Brynjolf turned the key in the lock, and they both slipped inside. Brynjolf straightened once safely inside, and removed his hood once again. Aerisif did the same.

Brynjolf grabbed two bottles from a shelf. “Some mead, I think,” He handed Aerisif a bottle and motioned to the nearby table. Brynjolf sat across from her and sighed heavily.

“So you’re the Dragonborn,” he said softly.

“I am.” Aerisif tensed. She had never imagined how this conversation would go. She had never imagined having it.

Brynjolf looked down. The room fell silent again.

“Bryn, it’s okay,” Aerisif started, upon seeing the pain in Brynjolf’s face.

“I can’t lose you again.” Brynjolf’s voice shook with emotion but his eyes were full of resolve. “I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ve got coin, I’ll buy you the best mercenaries in Skyrim. I’ll put on the heavy armor, learn how to bear a shield. Train with the Companions, if I can.”

“No, Bryn, you don’t understand —“

“I know the legends. It’s either you or the World-Eater. I’ve spent years mourning you for no reason. I’ll not do that any longer. If you’re going down, I’m going with you. We’ll face the end together —“

“Brynjolf, it’s done.” She fixed him with a hard stare. “Alduin…Alduin is taken care of.”

Brynjolf froze and look her in the eye. “It’s done?”

“I killed him. Alduin.”

Brynolf’s jaw dropped for a moment, before he regained his composure. He opened his mouth to speak, but shut it, reconsidering his words. After repeating this a few times, he finally found his speech. “This is a lot to take in.” He ran his fingers through his red hair, matted down from his hood.

Aerisif scoffed and looked him square in the eye. “Tell me about it.”

A few moments passed silently, each engrossed in their thoughts.

“So can you…shout? Like the legends?”

Aerisif thought about it, then stood and turned to the empty fireplace. “Yol!” A stream of fire burst from her and shot to the hearth, igniting the dormant logs and filling the room with heat.

Brynjolf dropped his jaw, and did not regain composure this time.

Power pulsed through Aerisif’s veins. The dragon within her was awake and rearing, ready to set the whole city ablaze.

Brynjolf had closed his mouth but continued to watch her with wide eyes. Another moment of silence.

Finally he spoke, in a whisper. “Shor’s bones, I’m glad you’re on our side.” He smiled roguishly.

Aerisif returned the smile, sat down, and took a long draught of her mead. She latched her silver eyes on his. “Brynjolf?” Her voice was timid.

“Lass?”

“You really went to Ulfric and Tullius to find me after Helgen?” She blushed.

Brynjolf smiled and his chest swelled. “Aye, lass, I did. Not as Guild Second, of course. As a concerned citizen of Skyrim. The guards tried to deny me an audience, but I can be quite…convincing, you know,” His eyes sparkled and he smirked. As quickly as pride had flashed across his face, it disappeared. “I searched every corner of Skyrim for you, but I never did find you. How is that lass? I know you’re a talented sneak, I trained you myself. But you just… disappeared.”

Aerisif looked down at her mead, squirming in her wooden chair. “After Helgen, I became someone else. Took a new name. I wore a helm most of the time to hide my face. No one who knew me as Aerisif the Thief would recognize me.”

Brynjolf nodded. “Ahh. So who did you become?”

She fiddled with the label on the bottle. “Kjolti.”

He tilted his head. “You don’t mean Kjolti Stone-Vein?”

“Aye.”

“You’re Kjolti Stone-Vein?” Brynjolf’s voice was buzzing with astonishment.

“What of it?”

Brynjolf burst into a deep chested laugh. “The rumors of your prowess have spread even here.” His eyes were bright. “And those rumors were quickly followed by tales of your riches. So affluent you are rumored to be, that I’ve got three different thieves trying to track you down as a mark!” He succumbed to a laughing fit.

Aerisif joined him, letting herself truly laugh since…since becoming the Dragonborn? It felt good to laugh. Freeing. Some unknown bindings inside her broke loose.

“Ahh, the Guild is going to get a kick out of this,” Brynjolf sighed, wiping tears from his eyes. “Trying to rob from their own Guild Master!”

Aerisif’s laughter faded and she fixated on a knot in the wood floor. “Right,” she said absentmindedly.

Brynjolf’s face fell. “Lass?”

“Hmm?”

“What is it?”

“What’s what?” She shifted and tried to hide her face lest it give her away, but Brynjolf caught her arm and turned her to look at him. His eyes were full of concern. Oh, those damned eyes.

“What is it that’s making you shiftier than a rotten thief?”

Aerisif sighed. “I…I don’t know. I only just got you back. I’m not sure I’m ready to face the whole guild. I let that part of me die at Helgen, with you. To try to explain why I didn’t come home…Gods, and I don’t even know where to begin about being Dragonborn.” She trembled.

Brynjolf considered her words silently. Aerisif watched him as he mulled over what she had said, feeling a tightness pull across her chest.

“I won’t say a word to the Guild, lass. This is your story to tell. When you’re ready, I’ll be by your side.”

She relaxed. “Thank you, Bryn.”

“But you will have to tell them eventually.”

Aerisif was startled. She opened her mouth, found no words, and shut it again.

Brynjolf continued. “They’ll find out. It may have been fate or just chance that brought us together tonight,” he frowned. “Actually, what did bring you back tonight lass? That wasn’t our work, that brought you here.” He eyed her carefully. “What have you got yourself into?”

She turned to Brynjolf and met his eyes. “I’m in the Dark Brotherhood.” The words spilled out.

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you now?”

A moment passed. Aerisif felt the pressure in her rising, unsure of what Brynjolf would think of her newest profession.

And then, when she thought she couldn’t stand it any longer, he spoke. “I think Delvin used to be sweet on a lass there.”

Aerisif nodded. “Astrid. She got married. But they’re both dead now. The Penitus Oculatus,” she quickly added, seeing Brynjolf’s wide eyed expression. “I didn’t kill them,” Well, that’s not wholly untrue.

“Hmm. So what was that poor soul’s story?”

“Killed some woman’s daughter, I think. I hardly keep track of the contracts anymore, it’s all the same. Why were you waiting for him, in full Nightingale regalia?”

Brynjolf forced a smile and a scoff. “Ah, you know it as well as I. That hefty coin purse he was carrying seemed too heavy, and I thought to relieve him of it.”

Aerisif frowned and cocked her head. “But you’re too good of a pickpocket to need to hide in his room. Why did you follow him up?”

“I would have stolen his coin in the tavern. I entered just as Svana left, and the mark was heading up the stairs. I thought my eyes were failing me, but it looked like a shadow followed him.”

Aerisif nodded and shuffled her empty mead bottle between her hands.

Brynjolf reached out and grabbed the bottle mid slide. Aerisif looked up to see his emerald green eyes locked on hers.

“Aerisif. Why don’t you want the Guild to know you’re back?”

Aerisif felt her throat tighten and the dragon shuffle its wings. Flee, it said. Take flight. As much as she yearned to follow its command, she resisted. A mess of emotions swelled and crashed over her. Tears burst unbidden from her eyes, and Aerisif tried to blink them back, but to no avail.

Brynjolf reached across the table and clasped her hands. He stroked them patiently, waiting for her to answer, but his eyes never left hers.

Aerisif was crying. What is the fucking function of tears? She cursed angrily inside, hating to show weakness. She recoiled at the realization. This is Brynjolf! This is home. You can be weak with him. He is safe.

Teary and red eyed, she looked up at him. “I died, Brynjolf.” He waited for her to explain and Aerisif struggled to take her breath back from the sobs that shook her chest. “I told you I took a new name after the first dragon attack, but its much more than that. I let Aerisif die in Helgen. I killed off who I was and just became who I needed to be. It was easier. The weight of it all was too much. I had already lost my birth family, and when you died, my Guild family died too. I couldn’t bear the pain, so I chose not to.”

Brynjolf stood and stepped around the table to Aerisif, and lifted her from her seat. She was so light, looked so fragile. He held her up and drew her close. Aerisif stood limp against him, not returning his embrace as Brynjolf expected. Dismayed, he stepped back.

It was silent but for the crackling fire. Aerisif had regained her breath but still sniffed.

“Do you want her back?” Brynjolf asked in a quiet voice.

“What?” Aerisif’s voice was thick from crying.

He met her eyes. Those precious jewels, thought Aerisif.

“Do you want to be Aerisif again? To be Guild Master? Your old life is still here, waiting for you to return from that job in Falkreath years ago. Its yours for the taking, if you want it. I am here, if you want me. Or you can go on being Kjolti Stone-Vein, and we can pretend this never happened.” Brynjolf’s voice broke on the last sentence and he looked down, trying to hide his face.

Aerisif sighed. What do I want? Why have I been hiding from who I am? Am I even living? She inhaled and tried to clear her mind as the Greybeards taught her for meditating.

I’ve been denying myself so much. Safety. Friendship. Love. I live to make the next kill.

She shifted. I’m not living. I’m just surviving because that’s what I know.

I was trying to protect everyone. It was my job to, but I’ve taken it too far. I’ve been trying to protect them from me. But that’s not how it works. All I’ve been doing is crippling myself, weakening myself under a false banner of strength.

The idea of letting down these walls she built made her squirm. Why have I done this to myself?

The answer came to her.

Fear.

It had been gripping her for so long. She had been afraid since her parents died, and she had been fighting it with everything she knew. Aerisif first tried so hard not to show fear, and then to just not be afraid anymore. Once she set off on her own as Dragonborn, she tried to eliminate any emotional ties. If she had nothing to lose, then she had nothing to fear.

I tried to cut loose what I thought to be dead weight, but ended up shackling myself down. What sort of life is that?

I get to live. I fought and slew Alduin so that everyone on Nirn gets to live.

Why am I wasting that? She thought for a moment of all those that died in her journey, and shuddered. Life is too precious.

She looked up at Brynjolf, towering over her. She breathed him in and smiled, pulling him into the embrace she had resisted earlier.

“I’ve been alone for so long.” His crestfallen face began to mingle with uncertainty. “I thought I had to be. I thought I had to bear this burden of my blood alone, that I could protect everyone by fighting alone.” She paused, her face growing grim. “But I learned I can’t. People die all around me, and it doesn’t seem to matter whether they’re fighting with me or not. I can’t save everyone. And that’s what I’ve been so afraid of, losing those I care about. But I’m done being afraid of what I can’t control.”

Brynjolf’s eyes were locked on hers, waiting for her next words.

“I want to be here, Brynjolf. I want to be Aerisif, Guild Master. Aerisif, with Brynjolf.”

His face burst into smile. Brynjolf held Aerisif’s face in his hands and drew their lips together, working his fingers in her hair. Aerisif felt her body ignite with the kiss. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back, soaking in the taste of him.

When they released the kiss, Brynjolf picked up Aerisif and spun her around, and she giggled and clung tightly to him. He smoothly tucked his arm under her legs, and holding her small frame in his arms, carried her off to the bedroom up the stairs. He set her down on the bed and wrapped himself around her.

The two thieves lay close to one another for a long while, basking in the simple joy of the other’s presence. Aerisif was falling asleep as Brynjolf stroked her midnight hair. This is perfection, he thought.

Just as Brynjolf was beginning to drift to sleep, the amulet that he wore deep under his armor began to burn against his skin. Icy fear gripped his chest. His eyes popped open wide.

Gods, no. Not now.

[thewahookid]

Day 6 of the Youth Festival Mass of the Transfiguration on Cross Mountain! Dear Family of Mary! As I write to you all, I am watching and praying, live, with the parish on Cross Mountain, at 5 in the morning! It is the Transfiguration and the last day of the Youth Festival. After 5 days of teachings and prayer, we celebrate together at the Cross, thanking Jesus and Mary for their presence and love for us!! It is a huge grace to be able to attend this mass from my home so far away!! Thank you Jesus and Mary for providing such a beautiful connection to Medjugorje! This Youth Festival has been life changing!! We all have been able to partake of the graces either in Medjugorje of thousands of miles away, through Mary TV! Thank you Jesus and Mary!

As a parting gift, we have transcribed Jakov Colo’s testimony given yesterday at the festival. You can read and pray over it this weekend!!

In Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! Cathy Nolan Mary TV 2021

Jakov Colo’s testimony for the 32 Youth Festival in Medjugorje!

Fr. Marinko introduced Jakov’s testimony this way:

Forty years ago, this man was a little boy. He was 10 years old. And now he has a family, a wife, Analisa, and three children. He is the one who experienced Our Lady’s love. He had the great grace to see Our Lady! Several years ago he started an organization called “Mary’s Hands.” A movement that now is comprised of many volunteers. It is Jakov Colo, our visionary!

Jakov Colo shared from his heart:

First of all, sincerely, from my heart I greet you all! And I would like to begin with Our Lady’s words, words that Our Lady has said to us often here in Medjugorje. “Thank you for having responded to my call.” How beautiful it is again to see so many young people here in Medjugorje. I know that today you could have been in many other places. Maybe some of you were also planning other summer vacations. But when God calls you, when Our Lady calls you, it is simply impossible to say “no”.

And particularly because of that, you are here in Medjugorje today. Because God wanted you to be here. Because Our Lady called you.

First we must say to Our Lord, a simple word, so simple, and that is the word “Thank you!” Thank you, Lord, for all of these forty years. Thank you, Lord, for permitting Your Mother to be here with us. Because in this we also recognize how great God’s love is for us. God sends us His Mother for forty years! And how great is Our Lady’s love for each one of us. Let us only look and see how many times Our Lady said in her messages, “Dear children!” In one message she said, “If you knew how much I love you, you would cry with joy!” Have you ever cried from joy for the love of Our Lady? Have you experienced that joy of the presence of Our Lord in your hearts? You are here now in Medjugorje, and I sincerely desire for you to experience this and to bring it back to your homes.

Fr. Marinko said that I was a child then. I was ten years old. And I can say that I had the most beautiful childhood. A childhood spent with Our Lady. With Our Lady I came to a great gift. Our Lady brought me to that gift. That gift is to come to know Jesus Christ. It is a great gift. And that is why Our Lady is coming here, to lead us to Jesus Christ. To show us the way, to lead us to Jesus!

Our Lady before all, is a mother. I remember in the first days of the apparitions when I would only look at these most beautiful eyes of Our Lady, when I saw such great love in those eyes, and at the same time I felt in my heart that love. Immediately, in that same moment I experienced Our Lady as a mother. I accepted her as my own mother. And I came to love her as my own mother. Our Lady has been a mother to me my entire life.

I know that many of you have so many difficulties in your lives. And I would say to you, never be afraid of difficulties. Let us never be afraid of falls that happen in our lives. I personally can say to you, if you have God in your lives, even in the difficulties and crosses that we carry, God is always there to help us.

I can give you a personal example of how God watches over us always. When I was ten years old, I had my first apparition. After a short while, I lost my mother. After that I lost my dad. But I had another father. I had another mother who was always present along side me. And in those difficult moments, you feel that God and Mary are placing their hands on your shoulders and saying, “You are not alone, do not be afraid. I am with you. I love you. I am your mother. I am your father. And in this way, God prepares all of us. And that is why again I repeat to you, do not be afraid. We need fear nothing! Because if we have God in our lives, we have everything.

So often in my life, I have seen so many witnesses, so many trips around the world. All that is beautiful, and perhaps it is most easy to come here and to speak. I wanted to be an example, even though I have not always been a good example. Don’t think that visionaries are holy. I had falls in my life. I had difficulties. But God was always there. And for this I thank Him immeasurably. He helped me get up and move forward.

Maybe also I will have other falls in my life. But God will always be present to give me a hand, to raise me up so I can continue on. But then a time comes when you think, is it enough only to witness? Is it enough to witness with your life? We may ask ourselves; do I really witness well with my life? Am I a good example?

I thought about that. As I said, after a more difficult time in my life, after a cross that I had that served to make me think about things in my life. I had to find out how to go on. In what other way could I do something for God? And I thank God because I am aware that I received a great gift from Him, and I will never be able to thank God for everything.

An idea was born. As Fr. Marinko mentioned, I founded… (but it was all Fr. Marinko’s doing. Without Fr. Marinko I would not be able to be where I am today)! I spoke with Fr. Marinko and Fr. Marinko said, “You have had other plans, but they were not God’s plan…” And I remember the day when Fr. Marinko brought me into a small hut here in the parish courtyard, and said, “This is now your office, and I would like for this to become the Office for the Needy.” At that moment, I understood. That was the answer to my question of how I should go on. At the same moment I understood that God was giving me a new grace. From now on I could also witness with my hands. I could extend my hands, first of all towards God, towards Our Lady, and then towards every person who is in need.

Then the office was called, “The Office for the Needy”. This was 2013. The first two years I was alone in that office. The Needy came from various parts of the parish. For me the most difficult was to listen to their difficult life stories. Through these difficult life stories, I started to accuse myself. I asked myself, “Where were you all this time?” Maybe I hadn’t even recognized that there was a need. But the more I visited these people, the more I came to know this reality. I understood one thing. In helping others, you are helping yourself.

Then you can understand many things. And when first say help, we are human beings, and we always think about material things. But the first thing we need to give to every person, especially the poor, is our love for them. That they are loved that they are not alone, that they are not forgotten. That somebody is caring for them. That they are important for someone.

I remember the first time when I came into a family for my first visit to them. I said, “Oh God, Lord help me! Because every person has his dignity. And you don’t know how this person is going to receive this. And when the doors were opened, a woman came. She didn’t say anything. She only embraced me and started to cry. And that was an important moment that gave me the strength to go on. Because I understood that it was at this moment, I started to live a real Christian life.

I suppose it was easy to say, “I am a Christian, I go to Holy Mass, I pray.” But I firmly believe that faith without works is not faith. We have to be Christians who work. How often do we forget that we have neighbors in need? Perhaps they are not in need of material goods. Sometimes maybe even just a smile or an embrace, a conversation, a prayer with them can help a lot. And it doesn’t cost us anything.

In 2016, I founded the humanitarian association with Fr. Marinko, called “Mary’s Hands”. I am very proud of that name. Let’s look at Medjugorje. Forty years Our Lady has been extending her hands to us. Saying to us, “Come, my children, to me that I may lead you to Jesus. And now we have the opportunity to be the extended hands of Mary and Jesus first of all, and then to all those who are asking for help from us. At this moment we care for about 600 families. And what is beautiful, is that when I thought I would not be able to go on, I was alone. I surrendered everything into God’s hands, and I said, “Lord, You take care of it, if this is your plan. You take care of it. And slowly young people started to come.

Today there are about sixty of us who are volunteers, mostly young people from the surrounding area. How beautiful it is to see a young man who goes to someone, to repair or clean a house, to visit someone, to drive someone to the hospital who needs doctor’s care. When he comes back with everything that he has done, I see that person, happy!!

When I look at this world today. Especially the youth who have everything offered to them… often the world offers us things that lead us to destruction. It does not offer to us what is most important. Which is God! But if you have God in your heart, you will always recognize where the need is. And that is why I am so grateful to the Lord for all of my volunteers.

As I said, we care for 600 families. What does our association help with. I must say we help with everything. Every month we share about 600 packages of food. We have rebuilt many homes. We help people to purchase their medicine they can’t afford. We help people in their medical care. People don’t have homes, so we pay for their rent. Everything that people need. Clothing, furniture. but what is most important: everybody is welcome in our office, whether Catholic or not. Because of that I am very happy.

When people come who are not Catholic, through our example we show them what it means to be Catholic. What it truly means to live the Catholic faith. We desire to work even more. One project began a month ago, and I hope it will be finished in another month and a half. It will be a soup kitchen in a nearby area where we will be able to give 200 meals a day. Also brought to their homes.

Sometimes we forget how much we have. Sometimes we even ask God for more. Let us ask ourselves how much do we thank God for little things. Do you really thank God for that piece of bread that every day we can share with our family. Because from my own experience and example, I can share with you, as Fr. Marinko said: “I have three children, they have somebody who loves them, will embrace them, who will kiss them. But on the other side there are many children who suffer, many children who have never even felt love, and what it means to be loved. There are so many examples that I could share with you. But that is not necessary, because what I would call you to is what is most important.

Often times we judge someone. Often times when we meet someone homeless, we meet a drug addict, an addict on drugs, alcohol, whatever. We look at this one, “drinking!” Who are we to judge? Have you been under his skin? Have you lived his life and what he has had in his life? When we meet someone who is sleeping on the street. Oftentimes we just pass by. And we look at the person with some kind of a despising look. Sometimes we give a little coin to appease our conscience.  But that is not faith. Let us stop by that man. Let us ask him, “How are you?” Let us embrace him. And it will be difficult for us. If we are truly Christians as many of us say that we are, and in every person, we need to recognize Jesus Christ. And particularly in that embrace we are embracing Jesus Christ. And perhaps that is the most important for that person then for us to give him that one coin or even to do much more for him materially.

So when you return back to your homes, look around you. Is someone in need? Does he need your smile? Does he need your conversation? Bring it with you from Medjugorje. And in the end, I would say to you: often times when pilgrims from back from Medjugorje they carry so many souvenirs, so many rosaries, so many crucifixes, and all that is beautiful. It’s beautiful to bring some kind of a memory from Medjugorje.  But the most important souvenir of Medjugorje to bring ­ it costs us nothing. It’s free. We don’t even need luggage to carry it. We only need our hearts. That is Our Lady’s messages. That is prayer, conversion, peace, penance, fasting and Holy Mass. If we carry this from Medjugorje, we have placed this into our lives. And we’ve understood what Medjugorje is.

This is not important when you come into your homes, to shout with all your strength that we were in Medjugorje at the youth festival, and it was good. But let us show it in our example, with our life that others can recognize that spirit of Medjugorje in us. That they can recognize how God works through us. And I will pray for all of you. For all of your needs; for all of your intentions; for all the sick. And I also ask you ­ because people often ask me how can we help you … for us volunteers most important is prayer. Because without prayer we couldn’t do any of this. That is why also every Monday we have a prayer meeting where we ask God to give us all the more love, all the more strength, to be able to do what we need to do.  That is why I also ask of you, please pray for us. Pray for Mary’s Hands. May these hands always be extended and with an open heart. Thank you very much!”

(Jakov Colo, testimony for Youth Festival 2021)

[queenzoomyswicey]

Return Thoughts?

It’s been a while since I wrote a story I’m talking to myself one but here we go.

A long day of running errands, sharpening driving skills, and just now at close to midnight after a long 6-7 hours time of working on college swiceyy about had enough of homework. she enjoys going to different stores to get more experience on where to shop at so far I love it i feel free until people come around like i can read their energy it’s so weird but i can read people more than ever now. As this pandemic is in the way of seeing my loved ones and close best friends I miss my girls fr fr hopefully sometime after the pandemic we can meet up and catch up when we have free time. As i have been healing, growing, learning in many ways I am no longer the person I am. I love myself more, grateful to be alive, appreciate all the people who help me and attempt to help others as much as possible, I pray more often, I learn to take a negative and turn it positive, I learned to not dish our energy, attention, and help to folks who don’t deserve or to set in their ways, I learn to be careful who i encounter soul transference is very real which i why i don’t have sex, with anyone I am picky about who i choose or sleep around i don’t want no demons casted on to me from folks not date certain people cause they will try Everything to steal your warm positive energy and your purity. Also I learned to pay attention more folks tell on themselves, and people show you the love is never genuine unless they want something, I learned to not take pictures or not let my guard down keep it up those who complain are not intended to be let inside and I have nothing but love for my family including my two close bestfriends I want to see them make it, be happy, and support them as much as i can support them i cannot always be there but know I will not fold 💯🎯. My journey is not over it is in still process so i have no choice but to keep grinding by losing weight, finishing college, getting my own place, car, job, keep on praying and trusting God he has a plan in motion for me my future is bright I must keep praying during the good and the bad, praying for protection from these damaged souls who want to cause harm to me. This adult me is building up nicely Thank you God for all these Trials I am forever grateful for everything Amen no longer Depressed but forever blessed. Always a great day to get active and be the positive force in this screwed up world and society 💯🙏🏾 Thank GOD I am healed inside,outside, and emotionally. With GOD’s guidance I have gotten stronger and realizing my strength

[orthodoxydaily]

Saints&Reading: Mon., Mar. 15, 2021

Commemorated on March 2_by the New calendar

The Priest Martyr Theodotus (315)

     The PriestMartyr Theodotus, a native of Galatia in Asia Minor, was bishop of the city of Kyreneia in Cyprus. During a time of persecution against christians under the impious emperor Licinius (307-324), Saint Theodotus openly preached Christ, calling on the pagans to abandon idol-worship and turn to the True God. The governor of Cyprus Sabinus gave orders to arrest and bring bishop Theodotus to trial. Having found out about this order, the saint did not wait for the soldiers sent after him, but instead immediately went to the governor with the words: "I am here, whom thou seekest; I have shown myself, so as to preach Christ my God". The governor gave orders for the saint to be beaten without mercy, hung up upon a tree and be dealt with by sharp implements, and then be taken to prison. After five days Saint Theodotus was again brought to the governor, who presumed that the bishop would prefer after his tortures to renounce Christ, rather than endure new sufferings. But Saint Theodotus did not cease to preach about Christ. At first they put the saint on an iron grate, under which they set a bon-fire, and then hammered nails into his feet and let him go. Many witnessed the sufferings of the martyr: astonished at the endurance of the saint and his Divinely-inspired speaking, they came to believe in Christ. Learning of this, Sabinus gave orders to stop the torture and lock up the saint in prison.      During the time of Saint Constantine the Great (Comm. 21 May), the freedom to confess their faith was given to all christians, and among the sufferers set free from prison was also Saint Theodotus. The saint returned to Kyreneia and after two years serving as bishop he peacefully expired to the Lord in about the year 326.

All texts© 1996-2001 by translator Fr. S. Jano

The Monk Agathon of Egypt (5th.c.)

     The Monk Agathon of Egypt, a contemporary of the Monk Makarios the Great (Comm. 19 January), pursued asceticism in a skete monastery in Egypt. He was distinguished by an especial meekness, accounting himself most sinful among men. One time monks from afar came to the monk Agathon for spiritual talk and asked him: "Art thou Father Agathon?" "Ye see before you a sinful servant of God", – answered the monk. "It is rumoured, that thou art a man proud and intemperate", – replied the monks. "Completely true", agreed the saint. "We have heard also, that thou art a liar that loveth to gossip about others". "This also is true", – assented Saint Agathon. "They say moreover, that thou art an heretic?" – the monks persisted, but immediately they met with an objection: "In vain, I am not an heretic". When they asked the monk why, having accepted upon himself other vices, that he refused this last one, the saint explained: "These vices it is impossible not to ascribe to myself, since every man by his nature falls into sin, and all of us, through the corruption of our nature, are involuntarily captivated by vices; but heresy is apostacy from God, a deliberate renunciation of the True God".      To the question about which ascetic deeds are more important for salvation, the external or the inner, the monk Agathon answered: "A man is like a tree; the outer or bodily concerns itself with leaves, whereas the inner soul grows fruit. But just as Holy Scripture asserts, that "every tree which does not bear good fruit, shalt be cut down and thrown into the fire" (Mt 3: 10), so then it is evident from this, that the greater attention ought to concern the fruit. But a tree also has need for its leaves, so as to sustain the life-bearing sap and by the shade of its leaves offer protection to the tree and its fruit from the desiccating heat".      The monk Agathon died in about the year 435. For three days before his end the monk sat in silence and concentration, as though disturbed about something. To the perplexed questioning of the monks he answered, that he saw himself at the Judgement in front of Christ. "How is it possible that thou, father, should fear judgement?" – they asked him. "I through my strength have kept the commandments of the Lord, but as a man how might I be certain, that my deeds have been pleasing to God?". "Dost thou not trust that thy good deeds which thou hast accomplished, are pleasing to God?" – asked the monks. "I have no hope until such time as I see God. Human judgement is one thing, but Divine judgement is another matter". Having said this, the saint expired to the Lord.      [Trans. Note: "Agathon" in Greek means "Good", just as also "Makarios" means "Blessed"; – there is a didactic thread woven into the fabric of many of the Saints vitae teaching this or that moral point or insight. Thus, whether or not Saint Agathon started monastically with such a name is less relevant than having finished with it. The opening dialogue with the monks from afar takes on a deeper dimension when set in perspective of: "Art thou Brother Good", – "Ye see before you a sinner" "guilty of all the sins ye allege and more" "but God forbid, no heretic!"].

© 1996-2001 by translator Fr. S. Janos.

Isaiah 1:1-20 (6th Hour)

1 The vision of Isaiah the son of Amoz, which he saw concerning Judah and Jerusalem in the days of Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz, and Hezekiah, kings of Judah. 2 Hear, O heavens, and give ear, O earth! For the Lord has spoken: “I have nourished and brought up children, And they have rebelled against Me; 3 The ox knows its owner And the donkey its master’s crib; But Israel does not know, My people do not consider.” 4 Alas, sinful nation, A people laden with iniquity, A brood of evildoers, Childrenwho are corrupters! They have forsaken the Lord, They have provoked to anger The Holy One of Israel, They have turned away backward. 5 Why should you be stricken again? You will revolt more and more. The whole head is sick, And the whole heart faints. 6 From the sole of the foot even to the head, There is no soundness in it, But wounds and bruises and putrefying sores; They have not been closed or bound up, Or soothed with ointment. 7 Your country is desolate, Your cities are burned with fire; Strangers devour your land in your presence; And it is desolate, as overthrown by strangers. 8 So the daughter of Zion is left as a booth in a vineyard, As a hut in a garden of cucumbers, As a besieged city. 9 Unless the Lord of hosts Had left to us a very small remnant, We would have become like Sodom, We would have been made like Gomorrah. 10 Hear the word of the Lord, You rulers of Sodom; Give ear to the law of our God, You people of Gomorrah: 11 To what purpose is the multitude of your sacrifices to Me?” Says the Lord. “I have had enough of burnt offerings of rams And the fat of fed cattle. I do not delight in the blood of bulls, Or of lambs or goats. 12 When you come to appear before Me, Who has required this from your hand, To trample My courts? 13 Bring no more futile sacrifices; Incense is an abomination to Me. The New Moons, the Sabbaths, and the calling of assemblies— I cannot endure iniquity and the sacred meeting. 14 Your New Moons and your appointed feasts My soul hates; They are a trouble to Me, I am weary of bearing them. 15When you spread out your hands, I will hide My eyes from you; Even though you make many prayers, I will not hear. Your hands are full of blood. 16 “Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean; Put away the evil of your doings from before My eyes. Cease to do evil, 17 Learn to do good; Seek justice, Rebuke the oppressor; Defend the fatherless, Plead for the widow.18 “Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the Lord, “Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They shall be as wool. 19 If you are willing and obedient, You shall eat the good of the land; 20 But if you refuse and rebel, You shall be devoured by the sword”; For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.

Proverbs 1:1-20 

1 The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel: 2 To know wisdom and instruction, To perceive the words of understanding, 3 To receive the instruction of wisdom, Justice, judgment, and equity; 4 To give prudence to the simple, To the young man knowledge and discretion— 5 A wise man will hear and increase learning, And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel, 6 To understand a proverb and an enigma, The words of the wise and their riddles. 7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, But fools despise wisdom and instruction. 8 My son, hear the instruction of your father, 9 For they will be a graceful ornament on your head, And chains about your neck. 10 My son, if sinners entice you, Do not consent.11 If they say, “Come with us, Let us lie in wait to shed blood; Let us lurk secretly for the innocent without cause; 12 Let us swallow them alive like Sheol, And whole, like those who go down to the Pit; 13 We shall find all kinds of precious possessions, We shall fill our houses with spoil; 14 Cast in your lot among us, Let us all have one purse”—15 My son, do not walk in the way with them, Keep your foot from their path; 16 For their feet run to evil, And they make haste to shed blood. 17 Surely, in vain the net is spread In the sight of any bird; 18 But they lie in wait for their own blood, They lurk secretly for their own lives.19 So are the ways of everyone who is greedy for gain; It takes away the life of its owners.20Wisdom calls aloud outside; She raises her voice in the open squares.

[sanrosa]

10:43pm

A month ago, exactly a month ago, I would not have imagined being in the position I am right now. Because a month ago, I still had uni assignments that were still due, I was still living with my one sister and mom, I had just applied for a learnership which I had hoped and prayed so much for - feeling optimistic because of the responses I gave for the interview, I still had a learner's licence that was about to expire and I was blatantly waiting for it to expire because there was no hope whatsoever anymore that I would get a test before it expires (my punctuality cost me a great amount), I still did not know how I'd really execute my vision of getting into the scenes and finally officially put myself out there as a rapper/artist, I still did not know either how I'd take advantage of the platforms I had initiated but did not carry on with (my blogs, youtube channels, twitter accounts, instagram, etc.) and I still had no full set idea of what I was going to do this year, like exactly what I'm working towards by the end of this unexpected gap year. This was all me, a month ago.

A month later... so much has changed, I'm quite amazed. So... I never quite really finished the assignments on time, and well, in summary: I failed. The hour I spent after reading that email, that hour- in pure shock, is one I will never quite forget. How I had emotions too many, yet none. A state of confusion, shock, heartbreak, deep sadness, then numbness, then acceptance, then happiness, then relief and joy. All in a matter of minutes. At the same time, I was trying not to feel either. I convinced myself that it is not that deep, I am strong and I will get through this. Because in a way, I had also expected it, the way things were going. I could not have expected that I pass with flying colours when the effort I was putting was minimal to none. Literally doing things last minute. So, while I was surprised at failing for the first time in my life academically, I honestly did not have anything or anyone else to blame but myself. The responsibility was completely my own and it is in my doing and way of handling my time that I succumbed to this position (of failure). So, yes, I do know that I am at fault. But fr, it just could not erase the fact that I was in shock hey. But I did move on from that rather quickly. And what I took from that moment were two things... A big lesson, and a big advice. The biggest lesson was (and will continue to be, until I truly learn and master it) - How to take control of my time and manage it efficiently! There will not a lesson as big as this one right here for me. Because it has become my biggest weakness and starting to become my most wounding one, unless I start acting right and learn it. I've been losing too much and too many precious things (opportunities, assets, beautiful moments) to my lack of time management skills. And it hurts! So I have no choice anymore other than to fully commit myself to respecting, cherishing and managing my time the way I'm supposed to, to get to exactly where I want to be. And well, I guess I'd say the advice is actually also in this lesson; Practice, practice, practice! Master the art of doing something when I need to and am able to. There's no better time than now. Anyways, next. Well, just a month ago I thought I'd be living with my sister for the year. But, my aunt and cousin came to visit for a weekend, and my cousin did not have a place to stay yet for his school year (res) so we found out he'll be staying with us. For a month. Jiki-jiki, a month later.. Both my sister and my cousin have left. Gone to their residences and off living their lives. As if I expected that?? I should've, right? No. Because my sister never actually said anything about leaving, and I genuinely thought my cousin was actually going to stay like a bit longer because who starts staying in a place in like the middle of the month, you know? So here I am now, lonely and sad they're both gone and I'm just left with my mother, who besides being a really cool and sweet human, likes to naaagg! about almost anything around the house. from the table not being wiped properly, to the windows, to the curtains, to the food and the way it was cooked, to the. Which, I'm not gonna lie, I understand as she is a black parent. I dislike it (extremely), but I do understand. I mean in any case, she probably has a lot of stress already so this is like her way of taking it out I guess (and lmao that is actually exactly what goes through my mind when she nags. I bounce her energy off, and not let it interfere with my energy, by keeping in mind that she's just trying to air out her 'boiling' thoughts, so i should not let it get to my emotions so that I have a bad vibe because the vibe that's been created. and it works like a charm). At the same time though, I'm not trying to paint a picture of her as an extremely 'complaintive' person lol, it's just i think that i'm not used to this energy anymore. I left the nest last year. Now that I've come back, I'm not sure how the hell I was able to handle such energy... cause it is lame as hell. But anyways, my point actually was how sad I am that my sis and cousin left. So abruptly even. Man. At least my cousin (who actually just left this morning) did leave me with something valuable. A truly valuable gift. He taught me how to make a beat. Just a day ago I didn't know practically anything about making beats. Not even the names of the types of instruments (snares, kicks, hi-hats, melodies). But now, I feel like I've unlocked a whole new world of understanding music. Cause now it feels like I even know exactly what went into the beats that these famous artists (Drake, Kanye, Nicki, PND, Cardi) use for the songs. Of course not exactly what they used, but more or less how they made it. And it looks easier now. My journey on being a rapper now looks more lit up cause bitch I'll even be producing my own hits now. Ah! Lol but okay, honestly, that was fire. And I'm truly and eternally grateful he helped with that. I hope he has a blessed year. Alright... next. (sigh) The learnership. Actually this one kinda still hurts deeply so I won't get too in detail about it, but... I did not get the learnership. Though I genuinely felt like I fit the criteria perfectly when I applied, as well as living very near to the workplace. Heaven only knows why I would be given such an opportunity and have the strength to actually take it, yet the outcome is a complete flop. Like I am honestly trying to understand why I even saw the ad in the first place... At such perfect timing (cause I was not going to be taking a gap year this year anyways)... All to just give me unnecessary hope? Why?? Why break my heart like that??? But ok yeah ... Life and shit. Anyways, the learner's licence. Haha, this one is quite interesting actually. Because to be truly honest, I had almost forgotten that I had a learner's licence. And I think it's because in my mind I had obtained the learner's, took driving lessons and had already planned to take the driver's test in PE, however I was in Gtown for most of last year, so it seemed like something that could not happen until I fully got back to PE, which was December. December came and went with all the fun I had and it completely slipped my mind that I could take lessons and a driver's test during the time. Came beginning of January, I'm preparing for school. Still no 'go book a test' in mind, until the middle/end of January (when it became final that I was not going to school this year) and I thought 'oh damn, this would be the perfect time to actually take lessons and book a test then'. Only to find out I am too darn late; the DLTC is all booked out. Oh, how I regretted wasting my time on idk what. 🙂💔 Fortunately, I was not too bummed out, considering I have another whole year to redo this then. Unfortunately, I stumbled upon a post by one of my favourite artists right now, Saweetie, and found out that she is doing a giveaway (brave of me to enter that world again, I know. I don't know what's my problem really) and well, I decided to enter it. Thing is though, it's a giveaway for a whole Tesla. Yes bitch, a whole entire mthrfking TESLA. And my ass is smart enough to think I would win it lol. Okay, God bless my heart. Anyways, so the catch is.... You need a driver's licence. OBVI! But I don't have one. YET! So, uhm, *cough cough* let me f**king book for learner's as soon as the day it expires!... Okay, done! Now let's go take the test 6 days later!... Okay, done! We passed... Done! Wooh. Now let's book for a driver's test as soon as you get home from writing the test cause we excited asf!... LMAO done! Now let's make sure it's a good date and good time astrologically too (cause that lowkey was the case with you writing the learner's test and boom you passed, even tho you didn't even check).... Done! Okay, we almost there, now go book for lessons at One Way (I'm sure they'll have spots for you cause it's a whole month and 3 days before you take your test lmao).... Done! Yay! I have a whole month to practice. Let's get it! Okay well, that's where I stand so far. Tuesday I'm then going to pay the booking fee and stuff. Then, take lessons from both the driving school and with my mother. Then take the test on Weed Day lmao. So after the test I smoke one up and celebrate victory. 😄 All in due time for the giveaway closing after two days. Wows. Whether I win the giveaway or not though, I'll just be glad that it seriously inspired me this much to finally get a driver's licence. Like, it genuinely pushed me hey. So boom I was able to get a licence this year 😁 Urrrniways... Next. My vision. Oh my dear vision. To be a well known female rapper. Beeeen hiding behind the scenes, you'd never know what I'm up to, whether I'm working, I'm playing, I'm being boring, I'm having a blast... or even having a child, chile (lmao). But one thing's for sure, I am still alive. Okay. And I'm just about to be more alive, and you'll even feel more alive... when my ass starts dropping things. Yasss honeyy, dropping my name, dropping that ass, dropping these beats, dropping this sass. Oh shit, here's the real her. Yes, hi. I been working, and I been playing, now let's get to showinnngg.😁 Lol, okay but on the real. A month ago, I really did not know how to execute my vision. In some parts I still don't really, like the cover for my debut EP (photography-wise), who to really contact for first edition EP-listening, and how much it would completely cost to distribute this whole idea/vision (which I'm actually going to have to start becoming my own professional accountant). But in some parts I now do, including important parts like GETTING THE MIC (😪😁 finally! and guess when it came? March 16th. always a special day for me this one), knowing how to produce my own beats here and there (finally 😁), and how exactly to market to a large number of people (😆more views and stuff), then perhaps less important stuff like the outfit I will wear for my very first performance lmao, and posting my stuff on instagram and tiktok (unexpectedly actually), and actually understanding and lowkey connecting with underrated rappers/singers. It's a pretty dope world to see tbh. Overrall... Babbyy, I see you the see the vision now. It's an exciting time to be in. (Side-note: Lmao I highkey lowkey think the moon being in Gemini just impacted me now. cause suddenly I'm on some other mood within writing this post. lmao shit changed quite drastically than when I began writing). Anyways, next. Last but not least... Taking advantage of these platforms, in conjunction with what exactly I will be doing this year. So, a month ago, I had almost forgotten about my astrology blog. Well, let me actually put it this way... I started to kinda cringe at the thought of my blog because it had been a while since I'd posted, so I wasn't too keen on going on to tumblr again. All the notifs, inboxes and deep cringe from noticing how it's been almost 5 months since I last posted something. Likkke... girl, is you serious or not? Lol, but then... an idea got blessed in my head on the 4th of March (a beautiful idea that will start commencing very soon)... How about I start a small business? :? Selling..... Merch. Based on astrology.😁 It is one heck of a win-win situation for me and the people getting interested in astrology now. But of course... I need an audience to sell to. So, (to the Heavens I thank for the day I randomly posted some astrology thing here on tumblr and it actually blew up and I did not even expect that), now I have some people to at least engage and connect with for this business. And I thank the Heavens even more that my idea somehow got transferred into my mom's head and she popped up a question of "Don't you wanna start selling stuff?" or something like that. And hell to yes, I grabbed that opportunity like no other! (but fr, I was shocked first. like what? you read my mind or sumn?) Lol, and so... Mi lady and I talked business and how she'd invested a K for me to check if I'd really be able to handle it. (Oh and perhaps I might add, my dad also did 'invest' a K for me in terms of my music... cause I was able to buy a mic with the money he gave me. Yes, yes, a whole K went into a mic). So I can only genuinely thank God for the people in my life, and how this path is going for me right now. Like, wow. But yeah. Technically, I haven't received the K from Mi lady yet, but that is good because I'd like to get in touch (and get bigger) with my tumblr astro fam again. Then in a couple of weeks, we officially commence. Just in time for me having a driver's licence. So, things can be easier for me pushing my business. :') Lord God, You are great. The greatest. Otherwise... yeah, then other stuff ke like really building my niche on instagram (posting pics and stuff), starting a music/astrology channel on YouTube (which I released my first video today 😁), and already officiated handles on twitter and insta. I'm not too sure if I care about facebook tbh. but yeah, then all that's left is the website itself and a professional email address. then, digitally, we up!

So yeah man... wooh, what a month passing by. never would've thought of all of these things happening. but I can only thank Lord God because it's none other than His doing that's helping me with all of this. Like I actually cannot explain how grateful I am for how kind and amazing He has been to me. and the fact that I'm able to see and understand why these things are happening. some making me really sad, but it's all just to introducing the next that will make me really happy. I am truly blessed man. wow.

God, I thank you. With all my heart and being. All my existence and soul. I thank you.

[chonacatibog]

Pains

While I have always prayed to God for a heart like His, it was not until this pregnancy that I actually upped my game and started working on it. It’s convenient to stay the same, keep my worldly ways, and just wait for God to do something about my heart. But that is just not what I think God is telling me to do--especially on that one lonely morning, when God spoke to me through the Catholic Inspirations podcast on Spotify. Fr. Andrew Ricci, the host, was preaching through his homily that to grow with Christ and to be like Christ, it has to be a routine. A regular work. A habit that we need to keep reminding ourselves. It definitely hit me and especially given the new responsibility and role to take as a soon-to-be parent, I knew I had to get up and start a routine. To start walking back to Christ who has always been there, patiently waiting for me. 

After maybe a few weeks or days, God also led me to opening and reading a book called “How’s Your Faith?” by David Gregory. Funny really how God works and speaks with us. I’ve had this book for years now but never really got myself to open it, let alone read it. But one day, after Fr. Ricci’s homily, He just called me to finally do so. And it’s really amazing because David Gregory’s story of discovering his spiritual life was triggered by his commitment in building a better family life and becoming a better parent to his children. And in my mind, I went, wow! It cannot be a coincidence!

The book started with Gregory going back to his childhood, to his pains. And naturally, as a reader trying to rediscover her way back to her faith, I too was forced to look back on my own pains. 

Honestly, I thought I was over them--the pains. I thought I have already embraced the fact that my family is not like most families--complete, supporting, present. Although I am grateful to God for both my parents, it was not through family that I discovered true love; and I thought I had already forgiven them for that. 

But really, when God decides to be funny, he gets really funny. Sometimes I think, Lord naman, nangkakantsaw pa. Because around the time that I was forced to reopen these wounds, I was caught in a really awkward situation where I’m living with my mom again. The same mom who left us and sought after her personal plans and desires. The same mom who would only remember us whenever it’s convenient for her. The same mom who could tell me hurtful things. She came over and decided to stay for a while when we found out I was pregnant. We had her with us for about three to four months. At first, I didn’t mind. I naturally liked having people over here at home. So it was really okay at first. It was just like having guests. But later on, I was really struggling living with her. I was not used to her being around. And when I was starting my journey back to faith, I could not help but be more annoyed by her presence--simply for the fact that she had hurt me so many times and I don’t think I’ll be able to work on my being a better person with her presence reminding me all the time how much love she refused to give me. I would think, the more I fall in love with this baby I haven’t even met, the more I do not understand how she was able to do the things she did to us. And that made her very presence painful to me. 

Afterwards, God also led me into situations where I was forced to re-assess my relationship with other people who’ve had also hurt me, who have made me feel very insecure. As of writing, I have to admit that I am still angry at them. But I know better than to confront any of them and make them feel worse. If there’s anything God is telling that’s so clear to me, it’s that there’s no point taking my pain and rubbing it on their faces, confronting them, or seeking revenge whatsoever.

And I guess given that, the bottomline is, I don’t know what to do with these pains. I don’t know how to heal from them. How can I forgive, move on, and be the light that I pray God turn me to be when I am hurting still? How do I protect my peace when I am bound to keep these people in my life? How will I guide my child down the right path when I, myself, am lost? How can I love with all my heart when I feel very unloved?

And boy am I so lost!

I want to take this baby step by baby step until I find the answers. Starting today, I will be reading through the entire bible to seek for Him. I will continue to pray that God send me someone to talk to me on His behalf about what I should do. I will continue to pray that He teaches me how to properly listen to him--because honestly, I still have not mastered the art of quiet time. I will continue hearing mass every day as much as I can to seek somewhere, in there, the answers. (And I think I also need to be visiting the church soon to make a confession. Hmmm...)

--

Last night, as usual, I was thinking about all these--about how much hurt I am and how all these pains make me feel very undeserving of love, very unlovable. And in trying to find some answers, I opened my Bible app and checked my Bible Plans. I had one I signed up to way back in October but have not started. It’s called “Your Truest Self // Living in His Love.” Thinking, wow can’t that be more apt? (HAHA!), I went ahead and started the plan. And for the devotional of Day 1, it says:

I am for you. I am with you. I go before, knowing what is ahead. I stand behind, my hand on your shoulder, so close you can smell my presence. Yes, there is a fragrance of my Spirit. This is where I invite you to live—your truest self, stripped of all insecurities, all what-ifs, all doubts and fears and pains.

Breathe deeply, my dear one. Breathe in sweetness and hope. Breathe in newness and the clean air I bring.

I draw you in.

Let Me be your strength. There, you are glorious. Let Me be the hand you hold—all weight lifted, all sorrow behind. Let Me cup your face in my hands. Let Me look on you. Let Me hold you. Let Me walk next to you. Match my stride.

I show you how.

There is a pace—within this fragrance of my presence—where I invite you to stay. Keep that pace. You know the pace, the rhythm, the movement of your moments when you can breathe Me and smell the fragrance of Me with you.

I envelop you. I carry you. And all whom you meet will be in my presence, with you, too. They will be enveloped in the fragrance of Me. All you do with Me points the people you meet to the fragrance. Let it spread. Keep in step. Check the pace. Let it be a rhythm that is natural.

Practice.

Breathe.

I show you how.

And then this morning, I heard mass online and the gospel was Luke 17:26-37, a very timely and relevant gospel provided the typhoon Ulysses the country had to endure yesterday (and today, actually, in some parts of Luzon). The homily of the priest was of course very relevant as well. He preached about true resiliency: if we are truly resilient, how come we have not learned from all the past experiences we’ve had with typhoons and floodings? He said, the truth is God does not want us to suffer. If you loved someone, would you want him/her to suffer? No. But because He loves us, He is suffering with us--as we learn from our mistakes and as we discover how to get things right. He is with us. 

Definitely not a coincidence. I know so so so well that God led me to this bible plan and to hear this mass at the most appropriate time so He can speak to me..except it was not the answer I was hoping for. I was hoping for something like "this is exactly what you need to do.” But instead God gave me something like “I am with you. I am carrying you. I am beside you. Let me show you how.”

But I guess that’s enough for now. I have been invited by my King to strip myself of all the insecurities, the what-ifs, the fears, and the pains. And while I honestly don’t know how to do that (ugh!!!), I am comforted by the fact that He is with me and someone loves me for me--even if I haven’t gotten everything figured out; even if I’m very very broken; even if my own parents found me unworthy to fight for; even if my loved ones think I do not live up to their standards; even if I fail every single day; despite me. 

Thank You Lord. I trust that You will show me how. 

[dhellski]

A life with a Father, a real father: A tribute to Rev. Fr. Erasmo “Sonny” Ramirez OP.

October 10, 2020: Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have found your deeds unfurnished in the sight of my God. Revelation 3.2.

It saddened me today when I heard the news that you’re gone, our beloved Rev. Fr. Sonny Ramirez. It’s a shame I didn’t pay a visit when I know I can – I have never forgotten you in my heart, for all the good deeds you have shared not only to me and my family, but to thousands of people who have believed in you. May your soul rest in Peace. You are in our thoughts and Prayers.

My first encounter

It was year 2000, after my high school when I decided to seek my fortune in Manila and to be with Fr. Sonny, whom i considered at first, unknown and totally not even in the table of consanguinity. He is a total stranger to me, but God has already planned that for me, He made that person I called “a stranger” as an instrument who will change my life in both physical and spiritual aspects.

My impression to him was very remarkable as it’s my first time to see a big priest in a “short and sando” but with a huge voice echoing all over the house – asking to call someone on the phone. I can vividly remember how he introduced me to everybody that I am a brother of Dheo (who was with him for I think 2 years before I came in) and just had no idea and doesn’t know anything about Manila. Grabe ka sa akin Father, nakakaluwas po ako ng Manila yearly. Haha. So that introduction made me calmed and settled for the day. I am an observer and if I am not mistaken, I was the last scholar who joined his foundation at that time of the year, for 4 years. So, I wouldn’t have a basis and observation of how a new person’s reaction, being new to the foundation.

I am a promdi and not used to live with other people in the same house, yes, we were like 19? (I can’t recall) scholars at that time. But I settled in quickly because I felt the spirit of being a family with a Father Sonny and so many mothers – our Titas, who are very supportive of Father Sonny and who loved us just like their own children.

 Pinoy Big Brother (PBB) Edition in 2000

The life in the foundation is like in the PBB, “Ang Teleserye ng Totoong Buhay”. Way back then, my housemates were from different provinces, with different personalities, dialects, perception in life but with only one goal – to finish college and support our own families back home. We were divided into two (2) houses and the only difference from PBB was that, there were no cameras and what makes us bonded; faith in God, trust to each other and respect Father to the best way we can, even if we only see him on a weekend. There were no auditions, but he has this great big heart and he knows who to put people, right for his foundation.

Our setup was the same concept as PBB, we have chores assigned, routines every day, and schooling we need to focus on. I remember waking up early in the morning to pray the rosary, clean the house, prepare food for everyone, washing the dishes, laundry, and during our free time, we still clean the house. Haha. On Wednesday, we go to Baclaran Church and so as on Friday to Quiapo Church then Saturday for Bible Quiz show and Sunday TV Mass at RPN 9. Our directives were coming from directly from Father, we obey his rules, and follows his instructions even we know it’s the same but given every time and all over again. Haha

We had the unboxing show before, he loves taking his religious stuff out from the bodega every week, unpack then repack it again. It can’t be live as during the unpacking time, he would normally fall asleep, wait for him to wake up and then our work continues – it’s our fun times as we would know his awake when his snore stops. Haha Father, you were like a living alarm clock!

We felt like we are chef of our own house, we are the ones deciding what food we will serve to everyone. Name it, as we are from different provinces, we prepare our own delicacies and give our best, so everybody enjoys our food – but not me, haha I don’t even cook that time. Ginisang corned beef sa relpolyo, sardines with papaya, and all the cooks of corned beef! We have meat and fish but you know, it’s more exciting when you don’t know what’s the verdict of what you up to – at least damay-damay na!

I must say, nothing compares “Mompo” and “Oscha” together, we are sorry Father but we drink it with oscha on the side (these haven’t been blessed). I am not proud of this doing but as an excuse, at least it’s not a regular liquor for drinkers.

I thought to be independent and built my camaraderie within the foundation. Father taught us to be on our own, make our own decisions and face the reality in life. We are in the depth of trying out new things and make believe in ourselves for whatever future endeavours may bring us. Together with our perseverance and guidance from Father and his supporters around us, we will be ready to face the next chapter of our lives, outside his house and foundation.

 My firs job as Production Coordinator

We are not forced to follow his path and become a Priest or a Nun. We have the freedom to choose what course we would like to take and so as the school we would like to be with. How lucky we are, aren’t we?  I am very grateful and had a very vast experience when I was with the foundation. When I first joined the foundation, I was like an ordinary scholar who would want to just finish college and then go and have my own life after. I didn’t realize that, with the exposures and experiences I have gained during my time, it will be my advantage of becoming who I am right now. In every good deeds and blessings we received, it’s up on us how we will repay even in our own little way, and having said that, I am contributing to the foundation to solicit money not for my own consumption, but for the entire scholars of the foundation. Being in a foundation, we are wearing so many hats, from being a scholar, housemates, coordinator of the show, a friend, and a good follower of God through Father.

I considered it my first job because I am owning it. Father will give you a task not to test you but to assure you that you will be ready in the future. I am inviting communities to sponsor the Sunday TV Mass we aired at RPN 9, and the exposure of talking to them, inviting them in the show was a very good experience at the age of 17! I never thought it’s where my career started, grateful that I was trained of a boss with a big heart and will encourage you to step up and focus on your strength, and let your failures be the guide to a better move in life.

 Perks in the foundation

Common, meeting celebrities face-to-face, get a chance to know some of prominent personalities in the Philippines. He is the spiritual adviser of former President Joseph Ejercito Estrada and so I was able to get inside Malacanang on face value. Yikes! Mel Mathay, Boots Anson-Roa, Christopher De Leon, Sandy Andolong, Ian Venracion, Fernando Poe Jr, Rudy Fernandez, Phillip Salvador, Jaime Rivera, and so many others. I am glad that I can sit with them over dinner, talk to them like nobody – we’re like a family.

We have tons of sponsors; we have supplies and sky’s the limit especially on foods – from appetizers to desserts. I remember receiving deliveries of ice cream, canned goods, and rice – our garage was like a minimart. The fear of famine is not on us but rather the fear of how we will consume all these goods, but since Father and the foundation is generous enough, we shared all the these to those who are in need in our community.  We repack all these items and distribute it the areas with full of hope and we considered a family to us.

Being in the foundation was like living the dream, father came from a well-to-do family but whatever we eat, it’s the same as what Father will eat. He eats steak, boneless bangus (yes, feeling ko mayaman ka before if you have it), and so are we. I love visiting our pantry and stockroom as it’s my first time seeing imported goods and the cache is, you can eat too, so long as he knows what you are taking and eating. Haha, sa dami nun, he wouldn’t know what’s missing! Hahaha Herford? Corned beef again, we already enjoyed that with hot pandesal back then.

Father would normally take you out-of-town for his house or building blessing, retreat, mass, visiting a friend and so many other purposes – this was awesome and being a promdi, you would appreciate every “broom” of his car. I have visited a lot of provinces in the Philippines because of him. A bit of a work but rest are for pleasure!

 My first fight with Father

I left the foundation with a heavy heart. I know I did what is expected of me but due to some circumstances, I failed him in some way.  I won’t lengthen the story, but I know Father is expecting more of me. It was a rainy Sunday when we were in RPN 9 for Sunday TV Mass. I couldn’t fill in the crowd seats and the only attendees were good enough to sit on the aisle to make it “daya” the camera and make it full of mass-goers in the TV. What can I do? It’s beyond my control and the community we invited that time was very apologetic that some didn’t make it. I was called by Father and the scuffle started. I felt embarrassed in front of so many people, so I decide to go home and pack my stuff and run away from the foundation.

 My last encounter with Father

It was so many years when I left the foundation and heard that Father Sony was sick - stroke. I didn’t know at first how will I approach Father again since I left the foundation, but I know it’s about time to repent our misunderstanding before. Who am I to prolong my agony where I know this stranger to me before helped me and made me who I am now today? I was surprised that despite he’s sick, with so many happenings in life, he didn’t forget my name. I didn’t cry as I know in my heart, he didn’t take our misunderstanding as judgement of who we are before, but an encouragement to see it on a brighter side, no one is above anyone else. I felt I wasted so many years where I can make it more fruitful with him, his blessings and continuous guidance, even if I am no longer in the foundation. I am really sorry, Father!

Goodbye, Father!

I know this blog is not enough to thank you for everything, how you touched our lives and the others and continuing to be a blessing even if you’re gone. But I am no one without your help and forever guidance. I will forever treasure every moment you were with us, during the times I was in the foundation and even more in my heart now that you’re gone. Thank you and may you be happier with our Lord. Please watch over us until we meet again!

Thanks again Father and we love you!

[frmartinshomiliesandreflections]

25th May >> Fr. Martin’s Gospel Reflections / Homilies on John 16:29-33 for Monday, Seventh Week of Easter: ‘The Father is with me’.

Monday, Seventh Week of Easter

Gospel (Europe, Africa, New Zealand, Australia & Canada)

John 16:29-33

Be brave, for I have conquered the world

His disciples said to Jesus, ‘Now you are speaking plainly and not using metaphors! Now we see that you know everything, and do not have to wait for questions to be put into words; because of this we believe that you came from God.’ Jesus answered them:

‘Do you believe at last?

Listen; the time will come – in fact it has come already –

when you will be scattered,

each going his own way and leaving me alone.

And yet I am not alone,

because the Father is with me.

I have told you all this

so that you may find peace in me.

In the world you will have trouble,

but be brave: I have conquered the world.’

Gospel (USA)

John 16:29-33

Take courage, I have conquered the world.

The disciples said to Jesus, “Now you are talking plainly, and not in any figure of speech. Now we realize that you know everything and that you do not need to have anyone question you. Because of this we believe that you came from God.” Jesus answered them, “Do you believe now? Behold, the hour is coming and has arrived when each of you will be scattered to his own home and you will leave me alone. But I am not alone, because the Father is with me. I have told you this so that you might have peace in me. In the world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have conquered the world.”

Reflections (9)

(i) Monday, Seventh Week of Easter

I have always been struck by the reply of some disciples in Ephesus to Paul’s question, ‘Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you became believers?’ With great honesty they said, ‘No, we were never even told there was such a thing as a Holy Spirit’. Paul went on to give them further instruction, and then, laying his hands on them, they received the Holy Spirit. Their answer to Paul’s question speaks for many in our world today, perhaps even for many who have been baptized, ‘We were never even told there was such a thing as a Holy Spirit’. Those disciples in Ephesus needed instruction in the faith on this very important matter of the Holy Spirit. We all need instruction in the faith. We all have a journey to travel when it comes to understanding our faith and living out faith. In the gospel reading, the disciples speak with great confidence about their understanding of Jesus and their relationship with him, ‘now you are speaking plainly… we believe that you came from God’. Jesus has to puncture their self-confidence, declaring that in a very short time, they will desert him, leaving him alone, and each going their own way. When it comes to our relationship with the Lord, we are all learners, like those disciples in Ephesus, and for that we can be grateful. It means that there is so much more to discover about the Lord and his relationship with us and ours with him. Unlike those disciples in Ephesus, we have been told about the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of God the Father and of Jesus. Yet, we have so much more to learn about the place of the Holy Spirit in our lives, and we all have a journey to travel in terms of opening ourselves more fully to the guidance of the Spirit. When it comes to our faith, we are always on a journey of discovery and the road ahead is always full of wonderful surprises, as we seek to enter ever more deeply into the mystery of God’s loving relationship with us.

And/Or

(ii) Monday, Seventh Week of Easter

Jesus speaks in the gospel reading this morning as someone who is very aware that those closest to him will soon abandon him. Rather than going his way and remaining faithful to him, his disciples will go their own way, and leave him alone. Yet, Jesus also speaks with the awareness that he is never really alone because God his Father is always with him. Even as he hung from the cross, God was with him, supporting him. What Jesus says of himself we can all say of ourselves. There often comes times in our lives when we find ourselves alone. This is true especially of those who have never married or of older people whose spouse has died and whose families are away. Yet, even when we are alone, we can say with Jesus ‘I am not alone’. God the Father is with us as he was with Jesus. Indeed the risen Jesus is also with us, as is the Holy Spirit who has been poured into our hearts. Even when we are alone, we are always in the presence of the Trinity, we are living members of that wonderful family of love. Our awareness of that can bring us a deep peace, a peace the world cannot give. As Jesus says in this morning’s gospel reading, even when in the world we have trouble, we will find peace in him.

 And/Or

(iii) Monday, Seventh Week of Easter

Facing the truth is something we all find difficult to do, especially when the truth is painful. Jesus always faced the truth, because he was the truth. In this morning’s gospel reading he faces the truth about his own disciples. He says to them quite openly, ‘the time will come when you will be scattered, each going his own way and leaving me alone’. He knew that his disciples would fail; when his passion arrives, they would serve their own interests rather than serve him. That must have been a painful truth for Jesus to recognize and to articulate. Yet, what Jesus goes on to say in the gospel reading implies that he will keep faith with them, nonetheless. He says, ‘I have told you all this so that you may find peace in me’. The first words of the risen Lord to his disciples, according to the evangelist, were, ‘Peace be with you’. After failure, we can all find peace in Jesus because he loves us as the Father loves him. Having told his disciples that they would find peace in him, he goes on to warn them of another painful truth, ‘in the world you will have trouble’. They will know the world’s hostility. Yet, even in the midst of that hostility they will know the Lord’s peace, because, in the words of Saint Paul, nothing can come between them, between us, and the love of God made visible in Jesus.

 And/Or

(iv) Monday, Seventh Week of Easter

This morning’s gospel reading is set within the context of the last supper on the night before Jesus was crucified. Jesus tells his disciples plainly that soon they will be scattered each going his own way and leaving Jesus alone. He announces their failure, their lack of faithfulness to him. Jesus had declared earlier ‘I am the way’. Yet, his disciples would go their own way. One of the most popular songs of modern times is Frank Sinatra’s song, ‘I did it my way’. The gospel, however, calls on us to do it Jesus’ way. Rather than going our own way, we are to be faithful to his way, which is the way of the loving service of others, as Jesus demonstrated in his washing of the disciples’ feet.  This is the way to authentic life. Jesus not only said ‘I am the way’ but ‘I am the life’. The Lord will be with us as we strive to keep choosing this way. In the gospel reading Jesus said, ‘I am not alone because the Father is with me’. We are not alone either. The risen Lord is with us and his presence to us can empower us to keep choosing his way, the way of life.

 And/Or

(v) Monday, Seventh Week of Easter

There is a great realism about the words that Jesus speaks to his disciples in this morning’s gospel reading. He says to them on the evening of the last supper, ‘the time will come when you will all be scattered, each going his own way and leaving me alone’. That is precisely what happened; the disciples went their own way in the hour of Jesus’ passion and death; they looked out for themselves. In an equally realistic vein, Jesus says to his disciples, ‘in the world you will have trouble’. Jesus was aware that his disciples would soon have to travel their own way of the cross. Jesus names the painful realities that are ahead. There is no pretence, no wishful thinking, no avoidance. Yet, having painted that somewhat negative picture of the future, Jesus goes on to say to his disciples, ‘I have told you all this so that you may find peace in me... be brave, I have conquered the world’. In spite of the failure and the suffering ahead, Jesus wants his followers, wants all of us to be brave, because his love is stronger than sin, stronger than suffering and death. He offers us the gift of his peace, a peace the world cannot give. It is the peace of knowing that the Lord is faithful and is always at work in even the most unpromising and painful of situations.

 And/Or

(vi) Monday, Seventh Week of Easter

In the gospel reading Jesus promises his disciples the gift of peace. He says, ‘I have told you all this so that you may find peace in me’. Yet, it is clear that this peace does not mean the absence of trouble, because, having promised the disciples the gift of his peace, Jesus immediately goes on to say, ‘in the world you will have trouble’. Jesus is alluding there to the struggle they will often have in trying to remain faithful to him, the hostility they will experience as they bear witness to him by their lives. Jesus is saying that the living of our faith will make demands on us; it will sometimes bring trouble upon us, but in the midst of all of that we can still experience the Lord’s peace. This peace is a peace the world cannot give; it is the fruit of our relationship with the Lord and of our efforts to be faithful to that relationship regardless of the cost. Paul was someone who experienced this peace of the Lord even when he was in dire straits. He wrote a letter to the church in Philippi from prison which is full of joy and peace, even though his situation was very precarious. Like Paul we can all know the Lord’s peace in the midst of trouble. Towards the end of the letter Paul said, ‘I can do all things in him who gives me strength’. We can all say the same.

 And/Or

(vii) Monday, Seventh Week of Easter

At the beginning of this morning’s gospel reading, the disciples seem very sure of their faith in Jesus, ‘We believe that you came from God’. Jesus is a little more sanguine about their level of commitment to them, ‘Listen the time will come – in fact it has come already – when you will be scattered, each going his own way and leaving me alone’. This is exactly what transpired. The faith of the disciples which seemed so strong to themselves on the evening of the last supper would crumble on the next day. We are being reminded that our own faith journey can have its twists and turns, its ups and downs. At one time in our lives we can seem very sure of our faith, of our relationship with the Lord. At another time, we can unexpectedly, perhaps, find ourselves in a very different place. Yet, although we can change with regard to our faith in the Lord and our relationship with him, he does not change. He remains as faithful to us in the bad times as much as in the good times. Jesus goes on to tell his disciples that, in spite of leaving him alone, they will find peace in him. Although they will experience ‘trouble’ in the world, the Lord will be a stronger presence to them than those troubles. Indeed, the first words the risen Lord to his disciples after he appeared to them was ‘Peace be with you’. Even in times of personal failure the Lord wants us to know his peace, a peace the world cannot give.

 And/Or

(viii) Monday, Seventh Week of Easter

This morning’s gospel reading brings to a close the long discourse of Jesus with his disciples on the night before he died. He will now turn to the Father in prayer and in the coming days we will hear sections of that great prayer of Jesus in the gospel reading. The discourse ends on both a note of realism and of hope. Jesus announces the faithlessness of his disciples when the hour of his passion arrives, ‘you will all be scattered, each of you going his own way’. We might be prompted to think of the times when we went our own way, rather than following faithfully in the way of Jesus, times when we put our own self-interests ahead of all other considerations. We are no better than those first disciples. They embody our own weaknesses and failures. Yet, Jesus does not end his discourse on that note. He tells his disciples that he wants them to find peace in him. Jesus will be faithful to them, as he is to us. He continues to call us to remain in his love and in doing so to find peace, the peace which comes from knowing that we are loved in spite of our failures. Jesus then warns his disciples of troubles in the form of the hostility of those who have rejected Jesus’ vision for humanity, ‘in the world, you will have trouble’. We continue to experience that same hostility in our own time, even in these days. Yet, in spite of this hostility, the Lord encourages his disciples and us to be courageous, in the knowledge that he has already conquered the forces opposed to his vision for humanity through his death and resurrection. In the end, his vision will triumph and God’s kingdom will come, in spite of hostility and setbacks. The Lord will keep bringing new life out of losses and failures.

 And/Or

(ix) Monday, Seventh Week of Easter

There is a realism about Jesus’ words to his disciples in this morning’s gospel reading. Although they seem very sure of their faith – ‘we believe that you came from God’ – Jesus tells his disciples bluntly that a time is coming when they will be scattered, each going his own way. Jesus warns them that in the world, much of which is hostile to the values of the gospel, they will have trouble. Their faith will be put to the test, and they are about to fail the particular test that the passion and death of Jesus will bring to pass. Jesus is reminding all of us that we cannot take our faith for granted. It will be put to the test and we too will be tempted to go our own way rather than the way of Jesus. Yet, Jesus also reassures his disciples and all of us that he is stronger than the forces which will put our faith to the test, ‘I have conquered the world’. If we remain in communion with Jesus, we will draw strength from him. Indeed Jesus assures us that even in the midst of the trouble that the world of unbelief brings to us we will know his peace, ‘I have told you all this so that you may find peace in me’. The words of Jesus in this morning’s gospel reading encourage us to face the challenges to our faith, to the church, with confidence and courage, knowing that the Lord, through his death and resurrection, has already triumphed over the forces that are opposed to the gospel.

Fr. Martin Hogan, Saint John the Baptist Parish, Clontarf, Dublin, D03 AO62, Ireland.

Email: sjtbclontarf@eircom.net or  revmartinhogan@gmail.com

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