#an interrupted life and letters from westerbork

[llovelymoonn]

Any chance we could get a web weaving about shame?

sierra demulder we slept here: "release it" (via @godsopenwound) \\ cynthia cruz the glimmering room: "diagnosis" (via @virginiewoolf) \\ cynthia cruz hotel oblivion: "fragments: verwüstung" \\ etty hillesum an interrupted life: the diaries, 1941-1943 and letters from westerbork (tr. arnold j. pomerans) \\ marion strobel shame \\ wayne koestenbaum humiliation: "fugue #4: i want to be your bitch"

buy me a coffee

[undinesea]

Life may be brimming over with experiences, but somewhere, deep inside, all of us carry a vast and fruitful loneliness wherever we go. And sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.

Etty Hillesum, from An Interrupted Life: the Diaries, 1941-1943 and Letters from Westerbork

[petaltexturedskies]

I was filled with a warm, intense longing for spring. (…) Yes, I thought, that's how it should be. Why shouldn't one feel an immense, tender ecstasy of love for the spring, or for all humanity?

Etty Hillesum, from a diary entry featured in An Interrupted Life: the Diaries, 1941-1943 and Letters from Westerbork

[riverbird]

"There is a vast silence in me that continues to grow."

Etty Hillesum, An Interrupted Life: The Diaries, 1941-1943; and Letters from Westerbork

[imopeningup]

Etty Hillesum, An Interrupted Life: Diaries & Letters from Westerbork

[89rooms]

I am a little numb and bewildered and helpless, but at the same time I am trying to scrape together what patience I have from all the corners of my being, and I shall have to find a new kind of patience to meet this entirely new state of affairs.

Etty Hillesum - diary entry featured in An Interrupted Life: the Diaries, 1941-1943 and Letters from Westerbork

[beljar]

The thoughts in my head are sometimes so clear and so sharp and my feelings so deep, but writing about them comes hard.

The main difficulty, I think, is a sense of shame. So many inhibitions, so much fear of letting go, of allowing things to pour out of me.

Chantal Akerman, Je, tu, il, elle, 1976 @last-picture-show // Etty Hillesum, from a diary entry featured in An Interrupted Life: the Diaries, 1941-1943 and Letters from Westerbork

[dk-thrive]

Don’t make ripples all around you

To be very unobtrusive, and very insignificant, always striving for more simplicity. Yes, to become simple and live simply, not only within yourself but also in your everyday dealings. Don’t make ripples all around you, don’t try so hard to be interesting, keep your distance, be honest, fight the desire to be thought fascinating by the outside world.

—  Etty Hillesum, An Interrupted Life: the Diaries, 1941-1943 and Letters from Westerbork (New York: Henry Holt, 1996)

[shoofoolatte]

This:

You have made me so rich, oh God, please let me share out Your beauty with open hands. My life has become an uninterrupted dialogue with You, oh God, one great dialogue. Sometimes when I stand in some corner of the camp, my feet planted on Your earth, my eyes raised toward Your heaven, tears sometimes run down my face, tears of deep emotion and gratitude. At night, too, when I lie in my bed and rest in You, oh God, tears of gratitude run down my face, and that is my prayer. I have been terribly tired for several days, but that too will pass. Things come and go in a deeper rhythm, and people must be taught to listen; it is the most important thing we have to learn in this life. I am not challenging You, oh God, my life is one great dialogue with You. I may never become the great artist I would really like to be, but I am already secure in You, God. Sometimes I try my hand at turning out small profundities and uncertain short stories, but I always end up with just one single word: God. And that says everything, and there is no need for anything more. And all my creative powers are translated into inner dialogues with You. The beat of my heart has grown deeper, more active, and yet more peaceful, and it is as if I were all the time storing up inner riches. [1]

[1] Etty Hillesum, An Interrupted Life: The Diaries, 1941–1943; and Letters from Westerbork, trans. Arnold J. Pomerans (New York: Metropolitan Books, 1996), 332.

[finita--la--commedia]

I sat on his lap, it all felt so right, it was barely erotic, just a lot of human warmth and friendliness. But a moment later his body was suddenly on mine and I was in his arms, and then I suddenly felt sad and lonely. He kissed my thighs and I grew lonelier still.

Etty Hillesum (1914-1943), a diary note of Friday, 8 May, *PM [1941] in “An Interrupted Life: Diaries and Letters 1941-43. And Letters from Westerbork″

[llovelymoonn]

webweave about shame?

sylvia plath the bell jar (via @metamorphesque) \\ etty hillesum an interrupted life: the diaries, 1941-1943 and letters from westerbork (tr. arnold j. pomerans) \\ sierra demulder we slept here: "release it" (via @godsopenwound) \\ thomas j. scheff shame in self and society \\ jennifer biddle shame \\ renée ashley the shame fragment \\ julie carr shame and the shape of i \\ dan vera speaking wiri wiri: "small shame blues" \\ jennifer biddle

kofi

[wildspringday]

— Etty Hillesum (1914-1943), a diary note of September [1942], in: “An Interrupted Life: Diaries and Letters 1941-43. And Letters from Westerbork″  

[haleyincarnate]

Etty Hillesum, from a diary entry featured in An Interrupted Life: the Diaries, 1941-1943 and Letters from Westerbork

[riverbird]

"Life may be brimming over with experiences, but somewhere, deep inside, all of us carry a vast and fruitful loneliness wherever we go."

Etty Hillesum, An interrupted Life: The Diaries, 1941–1943; and Letters from Westerbork

[ginacancellaro]

I am not alone in my tiredness or sickness or fears, but at one with millions of others from many centuries, and it is all part of life.

Etty Hillesum, An Interrupted Life and Letters from Westerbork

[89rooms]

I am a little numb and bewildered and helpless, but at the same time I am trying to scrape together what patience I have from all the corners of my being, and I shall have to find a new kind of patience to meet this entirely new state of affairs.

Etty Hillesum - diary entry in An Interrupted Life: the Diaries, 1941-1943 & Letters from Westerbork