#an unbreakable bond chapter eleven

[bronzefuryfic]

Bronze Fury

When the only child of Daemon Targaryen and Rhea Royce is brought to King's Landing to meet with the rest of her family, she finds herself caught in a crisis of succession. The Greens battle for her support... and her affections.

Chapter Eleven: The Funeral / Previous Chapter / Directory

The Targaryens arrive in Driftmark for the funeral of Laena Velaryon. Aegon proposes a plan to save his relationship. Rhae at last sees her father.

"You reckon this is what it's like on Dragonstone?"

Aemond shrugged, his eyes transfixed on the sky. He and Rhae stood at the edge of the deck, listening to the dockhands clamor to prepare a ramp for the ship's passengers to exit on. Waiting for them below was Aegon and Helaena, their hair whipped and wild from their flight.

Driftmark's harbor was at the base of the island, the castle looming large on the rocky hills above. Sunfyre and Dreamfyre were roosting about halfway up, their long scaly necks pointed upwards, watching wearily as more dragons circled overhead.

Rhae recognized the sleek yellow frame of Syrax , soaring lazily amongst the clouds, as she was prone to. She kept a lofty distance, her cries faint and sorrowful, almost lost to the winds. Nearby was Seasmoke , sinking lower and lower towards the ocean in a spiraling silent stupor. They seemed to keep their distance from the sky's only other inhabitant—a crimson beast that streaked the ether in agitated fury.

"Meleys," Aemond whispered.

The Dragonkeepers had told Rhae once that the bond between riders and their mounts was unbreakable, so much so that they could feel each other's emotions. She hadn't believed them then, but now...

The Red Queen roared, her call a bitter agony.

Rhae thought of Ser Harwin, and of Laena Velaryon, and wondered whether the dragons were mourning too.

"I don't see Caraxes," she shivered, watching the clouds, fearfully wondering when he might slither into view. Viserys had once told her how Daemon's dragon came to be known as the Blood Wyrm, for his scarlet scales and deformities.

"More of a winged viper than a dragon," The King had chuckled. "Though, pray, don't tell Daemon I've said so, tis' his pride and joy, Caraxes..."

"No Vhagar either," Aemond grumbled—the boy also seemed to scan the horizon in anticipation. "You don't think they've left her in Essos, do you?"

"I doubt any could coax the Queen of All Dragons overseas if she did not wish it," Rhae reasoned. Aemond's brow furrowed, but before they could discuss any further, Ser Criston's voice cut through the commotion.

"Rhae! Aemond!"

The ramp secured, the passengers filed down to the dock. The King went first, aided by his attendants so that he would not topple into the sea.

"See him to his quarters," the Queen called after them. "His Grace should rest before the funeral."

One by one, the rest followed. Rhae scanned the skies once more, wondering where Daemon might be, before hurrying down the ramp after Aemond.

"Gods Rhae," Aegon said, as he and Helaena joined them. He surveyed her closely, his brow knitting together in concern. "You look like shit."

"Aegon!" Aemond glowered.

"What?" Aegon argued. "She does!"

"You do," Helaena whispered, taking Rhae by her right arm as her brothers bickered.

"That obvious, huh?" Rhae offered a half smile despite herself. Her hand curled around Helaena's forearm, soothing her nerves as she gently rubbed the sleeve's fabric beneath her fingers. She allowed her friend to pull her along, following the crowd up the stony steps to High Tide.

As they drew nearer, Rhae's breath caught. The pale stone that made its walls reminded Rhae of those belonging to her liege lady's, Jeyne Arryn of the Eerie. The memories were old, but by Rhae's estimation, the newly constructed High Tide was even bigger, and better yet, much easier to climb. She'd heard how the Sea Snake erected his own castle, abandoning the small, salt-stained Castle Driftmark in its favor. Ser Gerold had scoffed at the news, aghast that any might abandon their ancestral seat. But as Rhae passed the threshold, she couldn't help but think the Lord of the Tides had made the right decision, marvelling at the spoils of his famed nine voyages.

She, Aegon, Aemond and Helaena huddled together as the Queen paced past them to meet with their host, the King already being escorted towards the apartments. Rhae scoured the room for faces that ought to be familiar.

Can you find yourself in family you've never met? Rhae wondered. She didn't need half as much to recognize Lord Corlys Velaryon—still proud in his grief, stern and immovable as a mast, his sea-salted white dreads striking against his dark skin and sable, lavish mourning attire. Nor his wife, Princess Rhaenys Targaryen, her features visibly taut with sorrow, even from a distance, even beneath her veil of black.

But where is my father? What has become of my sisters?

As more guests and attendants piled through the doors, their footfall echoing the vaulted ceilings, Alicent's voice became lost in the cacophony.

"Gods, she's relentless," Aegon grumbled, as his mother gestured back towards them. He looked to Rhae's worried face, before straightening his back and taking a high tone. "Sincerest apologies for the death of your daughter. May the Sevens bless her and blah blah blah... Would you like to hear about my son?"

"Aegon..." Aemond began exhaustedly.

But it was as successful as ever, Aegon already blathering on. "No, not the short one there. Behind him. Yes, yes... the handsome one... he's got a cock and all!"

Aemond rolled his eyes, nodding towards an ornate spyglass on display nearby. When he spoke, he mimicked Aegon's sickly sweet impersonation of their mother.

"If you use the telescope, you might even see it."

Rhae snapped from her daze, clapping a hand over her mouth, barely able to suppress a snicker. It didn't matter—Helaena guffawed beside her, drawing scowls from those nearby. Color rose in Aegon's cheeks, but he made no retort. His face flickered between anger and amusement, but beneath it all, Rhae could've sworn he looked proud.

The children sobered instantly as the Queen returned to them, save Helaena, who was still giggling to herself. Alicent surveyed them wearily, turning to Rhae. "Is something funny?"

Do tell me if the children are a bother... I trust you'll be honest with me, she'd once said.

"No, Your Grace."

Alicent nodded, apt to believe her.

"Upstairs." She commanded. "You're to stay in your chambers until you are called for the funeral." She gave Aegon a hard look, adding with a hiss. " And you're to stay on your best behavior!"

"Yes, Your Grace." They all chorused.

Rhae spent the rest of the morning fussing over her appearance, straightening non-existent creases in her dress, fiddling with her hair, polishing her jewelry. She hated every second, but every time she tore herself from the mirror, she'd lap the room and come right back.

She longed for her bow, so that she might calm her nerves with thoughtless, long-practiced motions. As she paced the length of the room once more, she wished next for a dagger of her own, to flip and toss as she had with Aemond on the boat.

Perhaps if I were to ask Ser Criston... She thought, turning on her heel and stalking back towards the mirror.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAARTCH!

The cry cut through Rhae's heart, her hand instinctively flying to her chest. She glimpsed her own horrified expression in the mirror before rushing towards the window. Her eyes and ears strained—she thought she could sense the beating of wings above, but it was hard to separate from the beating of the waves below. The sky revealed nothing.

Caraxes. It has to be.

Another shrill screech confirmed her theory, sending goose-pimples across all but her left arm.

He's here.

A knock sounded at the door, and a yelp loosed her lips.

"It's just me."

"Come in." Rhae managed weakly, pulling herself away from the window as Aegon entered the room.

"Gods Rhae," He muttered, reaching for her, placing his hand on the small of her back before the door even shut. "You really do look terrible."

"Thanks."

"Stunning," He corrected, placing a second hand on the nape of her neck. We shouldn't do this here, Rhae thought, but the worry dissipated as his thumb brushed along the corner of her jaw. "But also terrible."

Rhae hadn't realized she'd been clenching her teeth. Her mouth slackened, her bottom lip quivering. Her arms wrapped around his mid-section as Aegon pulled her head towards his chest, and for a moment, she felt safe.

"I wanted to talk to you about... us," Aegon said after a while, shifting his hands to her waist. "If you're up for it."

"What is there to discuss?" She lamented. "Nothing has changed."

"It could. We could make it change."

Rhae sighed, pulling her head back to look at him properly. He appeared nervous, as he had last they spoke, ever afraid of her rejection. His fingers gripped her tighter, his hope in his hands, desperate to keep it from slipping away.

"How?"

"If the court... discovered our secret," Aegon began, Rhae's eyes already widening in fear. He pressed onwards desperately. "It would cause a scandal. Mother would have to make new arrangements to counter. We'd be wed instead!" Rhae shook her head. "Please. Please don't do that. She'd have to, Rhae. For our reputations—"

" Your reputation!" Rhae interjected. Her hold on him loosened, but she did not let go. "You're the son of the King, and I'm merely a daughter of the Vale. It's just as likely I'm removed from my station and sent to the Silent Sisters!"

"Mother wouldn't let that happen! She couldn't. You're too important."

"For the dragon I don't have?"

"For the dragon you will have!" Aegon flared, his voice rising. "I thought you also wanted this! I thought... I thought —"

"I do," Rhae hushed. "I do."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAARTCH!

They stood in despondent silence, Caraxes' call echoing over the sea.

".. . I'm scared, Aegon."

"We can't stop what's coming," He said quietly. "I've feared the throne for as long as mother has sworn it to me. But I..." He gulped. "I love you. I need you. And I think if you were to be there by my side..."

He didn't finish. He didn't have to.

Things might be a little less frightening.

Time seemed to hold still. It seemed to Rhae that the only sign it passed at all was the heavy thump of her heart in her chest. Her whole head seemed to hum, savoring his words, their clarity...

Helaena was right.

"When?" she breathed, her cheeks burning. It was so foolish, so crass . Gods, what would Ser Gerold say? What will Alicent? And yet... there was a surge of exhilaration. Had they not risked this very outcome every time they snuck from the prying eyes of the Red Keep? Had they not danced around the possibility for weeks? Months?

He blinked in surprise, taking a moment to process her agreement. But as the realization hit him, his grip tightened, pulling at her hips.

"I'd have you now," Aegon muttered fervently. His head snaked to the side, pressing a kiss to the corner of her jaw, just below the ear. "Why wait?"

Rhae put her right hand firmly to his chest, pushing away his advances. Not all her senses had left her. Aegon's brow furrowed in confusion.

"What?"

Rhae let out an involuntary jolt of laughter.

"We're at a funeral!"

"All the better," he insisted. "Less opportunity for them to do anything to stop us."

"You're mad. This is mad."

"So be it."

He leaned in again, slower this time, testing her resolve.

"Aegon," Rhae's hand stayed firmly on his chest. "I want this, I do."

"But?"

"It can't be now. Not here. Not..." She grimaced. "Not with everything else that's going on."

Aegon jerked his head in a stiff nod, the creases of worry returning to his brow.

"Okay," he muttered, dropping his hands to his side. "You're right." He was already moving for the door. "We'll talk about it later. I'll see downstairs for the..." He couldn't even finish the sentence, or if he had, it was spoken so softly that Rhae could not hear it.

He doesn't believe me.

"Aegon?"

Her feet carried her a few hurried steps forward, but her mouth struggling to match their willfulness. Aegon's hand hovered over the door's handle. His head just barely turned in her direction, his distrustful eyes obscured by a sheet of silver hair. Somehow Rhae knew—if she couldn't convince him now, she'd never have the chance again.

"What?"

It was now or never. Rhae swallowed her fear.

"I love you too."

His gaze softened.

"We'll talk later," he said again, gentler this time.

And before doubt could reclaim him, he was gone.

Everything felt heavy. Rhae's feet were leaden, shuffling across the ground beneath her dress as though her shoes were full of rocks. A mounting pressure built in her head, and her heart seemed to sink through her chest and puddle into her stomach. She feared she might retch again—Aemond did too, by the nervous looks he kept casting in her direction.

Her friends formed a sort of guard around her—Helaena leading from the front, with Aegon and Aemond on her left and right side, respectively. Rhae remembered a time when she was afraid to be so surrounded , but she was grateful now... Even if they made it difficult to search the crowd herself. Mourners lined the rocky terrain nearby, not important enough to join the inner-most circle of family and royals at the bottom. Rhae wondered how many had known Laena personally, and felt guilty as she passed.

They came to a stop beside Laenor Velaryon, though he did not seem to notice. He wept silently, unable to tear his eyes from the stone coffin before them, transfixed on his sister's silent, carved face. Beside him stood Princess Rhaenyra, her arms wrapped around Jace and Luke. Only Jace glanced their way.

They were joined shortly by a man in Hightower garb, who kissed Alicent's cheek before moving to stand just behind the King. Rhae peered—the lapel pin signifying the position of Hand gleamed at her from his chest. Ser Otto, she realized. She inclined her head towards Aemond for an explaination, but he merely shrugged.

"Father called for him when we arrived," Helaena whispered. Aemond and Rhae exchanged a look of surprise.

"How'd you know that?"

"Grandfather came to visit me next," Helaena smiled, reaching into the sleeve of her dress and pulling out a dead silverfish. "He found it on the boat from Oldtown!" She nudged Aegon, adding his head to the fold. "He says Daeron is well."

They'd caused too much commotion, however quiet. Alicent was staring at them pointedly, shushing them with her eyes. The children pulled back from their huddle.

A moment later, they were joined by Lord Corlys and Princess Rhaenys . Squeezed between them were two young girls. The taller of the two had an arm wrapped protectively around the shorter—or, perhaps, she was leaning on her for support.

My sisters, Rhae realized.

"Where is father?" She could hear the shorter ask, scanning the mourners anxiously. "They'll be starting soon!"

"He'll be here, Rhaena," said the taller— Baela. She seemed sure of her answer, though Rhaena did not look convinced.

Rhaena continued to scan the crowd, her gaze coming to rest on Rhae. Her eyes narrowed, and she rose on her toes to whisper something to Baela.

Rhae's cheeks burned.

So they do know about me.

But she didn't have long with her discomfort before it deepened into distress. Daemon's presence preceded him—dozens of heads were already turning before he reached the bottom step. For all the reactions he garnered, Daemon did not indulge any bids for his attention. Not the King's outstretched hand, nor Ser Otto's smug adjustment of his lapel pin as the Rogue Prince passed. He did not so much as glance in the direction of his daughters. It wasn't until he came to a stop beside the coffin, standing by no one, that he surveyed the sea of stunned faces with a slight smirk, revelling in the unease.

"Shall we begin?"

He turned to the Velaryon man closest to him—Vaemond, Lady Laena's uncle—who in turn nodded to the guards nearby. They unfurled a length of rope, weaving it through iron rungs attached to the coffin, creating a sort of pulley.

When Vaemond Velaryon spoke, he adopted the Valyrian tongue. Rhae strained her ears against the pounding blood rush to her head—struggling to hear or to understand.

"Tubī Velario Lentro Ābrāzme Laene iēdrarta mōrqittot, māzīlarē tubirri Elēdrion ziry umīsilza luo dāriot, hannagon Embrurliot gierūlti."

Today we... we commit Lady Laena to the water.

The ropes snapped as the guards pulled, dragging the coffin a few inches backward along a long stretch of smoothed rock—a conduit with which they would deliver the body to the sea. Rhae supposed her translation must've been close, though she was certain she missed some. Another pull, and another few inches... Rhae gave an involuntary shudder.

She found herself looking to Jacaerys, and was surprised to catch his eye. Rhae offered what she hoped came across as a nod of solidarity, to seeming success. Jace nodded back, before casting a sideways glance towards Vaemond, as if to ask, are you getting any of this? Rhae smiled slightly, promising herself she'd find him later, and returned her attention to Vaemond.

"Solion tolijor zijosy pradarose, Ābrāzma Laena rāeniot hen eglio ilvot lanto taloti hembis. Pōja muña hen zȳho solio āmāzīlus daor, yn ānogrosa gierī ozletaksi humbilza."

Rhae understood very little now. She recognized "taloti", daughters, and "ānogrosa gierī ozletaksi", bound horribly? No... that can't be right... bound forever in blood...

Rhae looked to her sisters. All strength seemed to have left Baela, who was crying into her grandmother's chest. Rhaena's back was straight, her chin high, but she did nothing to clear the tears trailing down her cheeks.

Rhae couldn't remember the funeral of her own mother, having been a babe at the time. Would I have been as brave? She wondered . She longed to join them. She may not have known Laena, nor did she have memories of her own mother to mourn, and yet... watching Rhaena and Baela, Rhae felt a little less lonely.

They don't need me, Rhae reminded herself, her eyes drifting down to see their hands still clenched together. They have each other.

"Velario ānogro rȳ lopor ojāris. Īlvon qumblī iāris. Īlvon drējī iāris."

Vaemond's voice seemed to harden now. He was still speaking of blood, Velaryon blood, thick and true.

Unwittingly, Rhae found her gaze shift back to Jace. From the way Rhaenyra pulled her sons closer, her face poorly guarded, Rhae suspected she was not the only one. Laenor seemed to choke back a sob and Jacaerys' head drooped, hiding his pale face beneath his brown hair. Only Lucerys remained unperturbed. Rhae thought it unlikely he understood much of the speech at all, never mind the implications about his birth.

And there it was. The ever-unwelcome taste of conflict which made Rhae want to gag— Vaemond will not stand for Luke to ascend the Driftwood Throne. How many of the Velaryons feel the same? The boy bears their name, yet none of their blood.

Luke had a greater worry—the boy reached for his supposed father's trembling hand... an attempt at comfort.

But Vaemond did not relent, glaring at the child.

"Se dōrī vajiñagon īlvon bēvilis."

And ours must never thin.

A gale of laughter erupted from the speaker's side. Every head turned towards Daemon, who seemed unable to contain himself. Rhae gaped, bewildered. He didn't so much as have the grace to look embarrassed, snickering still as everyone stared.

Laughter? As the truth of it hit her, all other thoughts were erased from Rhae's mind. Her fists clenched, fury tearing at her stomach, her vision turned red. She was faintly aware of Aegon's hand seizing the back of her dress, and Aemond treading on her toe. Every reckless thought rattling through her head must've shown on her face, but she didn't care. She could not placate the tremor of injustice that iced her veins.

Rhae urged her feet forward, wishing nothing more than to strike her father, to knock him into the sea, to split his skull on stone... Let them mount my head and call me traitor, she thought savagely. It would be worth it.

But she remained where she stood, staring at him, burning him in her mind, hating him.

Won't he at least look at me?

It was as though he heard her. A flicker of the eye, so quick and so subtle, Rhae might've blinked and missed it. But she hadn't, and she was certain—Daemon met her gaze. He smirked.

A chill ran the length of her spine.

Dammit.

Rhae was not as brave as she had hoped—angry, hot tears leaked down her face. But what was there to do? She wiped them hurriedly, ashamed.

I could never hurt him as he hurts me.

Rhae tore her gaze from Daemon, fixating instead on the coffin of his second wife. Another woman dead. More daughters devastated. The father and the husband still unaffected. Where is justice? Ser Gerold was made the fool for asking the same, once. But he'd done it all the same.

I'm sorry, Mother.

"Talus mandus ñuhus," Vaemond continued, unfaltering. "Inkoso kostōbāpis aōhis jelmīs sagon gīso lykāpas aōhas embis se prūmȳsa lēdāpas aōhas manengīs."

Spirit. Heart. Rhae understood little else. The soldiers tugged at the ropes with each word, dragging the coffin closer and closer to the brink.

"Hen embār masti. Va embrot āmāzīli."

And with one final heave, Laena Velaryon was sent to sea. Gone forever.

Next Chapter: Driftmark

Rhae struggles through encounters with old friends, lost family, and new supposed allies at the funeral reception on Driftmark.

AO3 | Chapter Discussion

Thanks for reading!

[thegreatwicked]

Unbreakable Bonds: Chapter Eleven

Unbreakable Bonds 

A novella in the ‘How it Should Have Ended’ Universe. 

TheGreatWicked

Summary: In a galaxy where Anakin Skywalker successfully resisted the pull of darkness, fulfilling his destiny as the Chosen One to bring balance to the Force, the Jedi Temple is abuzz with discussions about the traditionally forbidden nature of attachments. As Anakin assumes the role of a Jedi Master, his decision to ensure Palpatine's arrest rather than execution sets the tone for a new era.

On the way to an impromptu council meeting, where Anakin now holds a seat as a respected master, Obi-Wan Kenobi experiences an unusual sensation. A mysterious connection tugs at him when he encounters a young boy patiently waiting outside the council chambers. Unbeknownst to Obi-Wan, the spotlight is about to shift from Anakin to himself.

As the secrets of Obi-Wan's past unravel, the Jedi Council finds itself thrust into action much sooner than anticipated. The delicate balance of the Force, once maintained by Anakin's choices, now hinges on the unforeseen revelations from Obi-Wan's history. The galaxy is on the brink of change, and the consequences of long-held secrets may reshape the destiny of the Jedi and the Force itself.

Pairing: Obi-wan/OFC (Cressida Vox)

Rating: Explicit, depictions of violence and sexual encounters between consenting adults.

Chapter Eleven

Something was different. As the remnants of sleep faded further she became acutely aware of the plush cocoon of blankets swaddled around her. The fabric's gentle touch caressed her skin, in a comforting embrace that lulled her deeper into tranquility.

Safe. 

That was how she felt when the first rays of sunlight streamed through the window, casting a golden strip across Cressida's closed eyes, making sleeping in later an impossibility. And whereas she used to greet the day with a minor grumble and a desire to send her timepiece flying into the wall, she found it was oddly silent. In fact, she wasn’t tired, true she was comfortable and cozy, and getting up wasn’t something she wanted to do but she didn’t crave more sleep like she usually did.

She rolled over, into the sunlight which was now spilling across her entire face, a sleepy smile playing on her lips as she stretched out her limbs, savoring the sensation of being well-rested for the first time in what felt like an eternity. Then confusion took hold. 

This morning, there was no chill seeping through the hard ground beneath her; instead, she found herself nestled snugly within her bed, wrapped in blankets that enveloped her with a tenderness akin to a lover's embrace. 

It struck her as profoundly odd, to find such comfort in the soft give of a mattress, after a decade of sleeping on solid ground. The subtle plushness of a mattress, even one as firm as the Jedi Temple provided, made it impossible for her to find proper rest. It felt too soft, too unfamiliar, leaving her strangely unsettled by the comfort it offered.

There were far stranger things than waking up in a bed and being well rested, but it was still downright strange for Cressida, given her years of accustomed slumber on the hard ground. Inherently she wanted to temper her skepticism with optimism and gratuity as for the first time in a long time her sleep was uninterrupted by the specter of nightmares, she was well-rested and for once felt completely ready to greet the day, but she would still have her cup of caf, of course.

Had she maybe crawled into the bed in her sleep? It seemed unlikely, though not improbable, that maybe she was finally growing accustomed to being back at the temple and finally feeling safe enough to let her guard down. She rolled away from the sunlight to look at the timepiece, curious as to just how long she could stay in this comfortable loaf of blankets, but her eyes widened in shock at the sight before her– she wasn't alone.

There, lying peacefully beside her, was none other than Obi-Wan Kenobi.

His usually tidy hair was mussed from the pillow's embrace, the morning light casting a more ginger hue over the sandy strands. In sleep, the lines of strain that often furrowed his brow were smoothed away, revealing an unguarded handsomeness, completely free from the burdens of stress and responsibility that weighed heavily on him while awake. 

With no one to catch her staring, she allowed herself to stare a little longer at the sleeping Jedi Master, the way his bare chest rose and fell with each steady breath; a picture of pure tranquility. He was close enough to touch and every bit as beautiful to look at in sleep as he was when he was awake. She nearly reached out to touch him. Maybe just push his hair out of his eyes, as it was getting a bit longer, he’d probably be cutting it soon. Shame, the longer length of hair looked good on him. 

Her gaze lingered on his long, thick eyelashes – a feature envied by many, not just her, but one she was grateful their son, Solan, had inherited. As an infant, it had been difficult to tell who Solan favored, as she had no idea what she looked like as a child. But as he grew older, it became clear that he was taking after his father and the thought made her smile. If her son continued to resemble his father he’d become a very handsome young man, no doubt following in his father’s footsteps of leaving broken hearts across the galaxy. 

Her smile faded when she was a breath away from stroking the warmth of his cheek, it felt so real.

The momentary warmth that bloomed within her at the sight, withered as quickly as it came and her fingers recoiled. Sorrow seeped into the hollow space it left behind, as she realized that this was nothing more than a dream. 

She didn’t crawl into her own bed last night any more than Obi-Wan had, and he wasn’t really there sleeping beside her. 

As she lay on the too-soft mattress, misery swelled inside her, and she turned away, seeking refuge from her heartache. Even in sleep, she couldn't escape it. With a resigned sigh, she braced herself for the inevitable awakening. The bed would be empty and cold, and she would find herself stiff and a bit sore, just as she had been for the last ten years, still exhausted and still on the floor.

And even worse than the physical discomfort, she would return to the strained coexistence she shared with the father of her son. Hating every moment of it. Hating herself.

Despair hung heavy around her, like a palpable shroud that rippled through the air, touching everything in its path. Reaching beyond, until Obi-Wan's arm found its way around her waist, drawing her back against the solid plane of his chest. His breath danced warmly on her skin, as he gently nuzzled into the back of her neck, stirring strands of her auburn hair with each exhale.

"Good morning, darling," 

She remained still and silent, his voice and the affection in it only making her experience more painful. She stayed stiff in his arms, tightly squeezing her eyes shut to prevent any tears from escaping.

"Are you planning to avoid me here too?" he asked softly when she remained silent.

Her silence stretched for a moment before she replied, "Avoidance implies intention, Obi-Wan. One can’t avoid what's not real."

He chuckled softly, the sound melodious and comforting. "You're the only Jedi I know who wouldn't take advantage of a pleasant dream, my dear." he teased, brushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "Such a wet blanket, you are."

She breathed deeply, committing his scent, and his warmth, to memory. 

Obi-Wan's voice, sleep-roughened but playful, teased her. "Are you truly so entrenched with your own sorrow that you won’t allow yourself to enjoy this while you can?" 

“This is a dream,”

“Then there’s no harm in a little bit of indulgence, is there?” His fingers danced a lighthearted path up her arm, it was so soft it almost tickled and Cressida hated being tickled. But she couldn’t bring herself to move. "Is it such a bad dream, this one? Worse than the ones where you wake up screaming?" 

“No,” She replied quietly, her voice sounding so fragile.

“Then what’s wrong?”

“You’ve never called me ‘darling’ before.”

“Is that it?” He chuckled again, “Well, perhaps that’s true, but you want me to.” His hand stroked the length of her arm, a tender touch that felt profoundly real.  “After all, this is your dream, not mine, darling.” His lips gently brushed against her skin, sending tingles down her spine. "You know, I believe I've figured out why you've been sleeping poorly," he said after a momentary pause. "You're resting where you shouldn't be. I'm in my bed, and you're on the floor. One of us is undoubtedly in the wrong place."

"Always the clever one," she remarked, unable to keep the scoff out of her voice before finally turning her head to look at him, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth despite herself. 

When she pinched his arm, he raised an eyebrow questioningly as if wondering why she would do that.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, my dear, but I believe you’re supposed to pinch yourself if you wish to wake up.” He suggested with a grin, gently pinching her arm in return, which she, of course, didn’t feel. “Seems to me like you don't really want to leave this place." 

It was true, painfully so.

“I’m not sure what’s worse, the reality that’s waiting for me when I wake up or this,” Her voice was soft as her fingers lightly grazed against his, while he continued to gently stroke her arm. 

"Reality can be shaped by will, my love," he countered, pressing another more firm kiss to her neck. "If you truly desire this, all you need to do is pursue it," he responded, his grip around her a little more secure, his voice tender and affectionate, it was lovely but it wasn’t right.

“You make it sound so simple,”

Her words seemed to roll off him like water off a pelikki’s back, his expression remaining unphased. In fact, he wore a sly smirk and his hand reached up to gently caress her cheek, repositioning her in his embrace so that she faced him directly. His eyes were still heavy with sleep but still held an inviting warmth and tenderness towards her.

“And you think in such two-dimensional terms,” 

He gently tilted her chin upwards, his warm hand cradling her jaw as he drew her closer. His lips met hers in a deep, all-consuming kiss. With a teasing flick of his tongue, he deepened the kiss and her heart began to race in her chest. Every nerve electrified by his touch, so close to the real thing.

"Imagine," he murmured softly, releasing her mouth from his. "This is how we wake up every day, safely wrapped in each other's arms." He paused, a mischievous grin playing on his lips. "Though preferably with fewer clothes." She smirked softly, feeling the vibrations of his words against her skin. For a man who was all propriety and rules and discipline, it was easy to forget that he had something of a naughty sense of humor.

"No blasted timepieces to rouse us from sleep, only the sunlight of noon or Solan telling us he's hungry for waffles. The three of us exploring the galaxy together as a family, our attachments making us stronger, not weaker. Training our son to be the Jedi he's meant to be, as the Force deems, no pesky High Council to shake their heads disapprovingly at us, or tell us what we’re feeling is wrong or dangerous." 

Her smirk turned to a smile, her heart swelling at the thought. Obi-Wan had never boasted any particularly artistic abilities, but the portrait he was creating was undoubtedly breathtaking. 

"And our nights..." he trailed off, tilting his head down to nuzzle his nose against hers. "Our nights are filled with staying up late, entwined in passionate love-making until we can no longer keep our eyes open, blissfully drained of all energy. And yet, every day it starts all over again."

She let her fingers intertwine with his, feeling the rough calluses on his palm and fingers born of years of lightsaber use. She observed him with fascination wishing all her dreams could be as peaceful as this moment. A somber smile formed on her lips. 

“Growing stronger, as a family,” His hand cradling her hip, his lips leaving a trail of fire along her jaw and up to her ear. “Perhaps, we might even add to it,” She turned her head sharply, expecting to see a playful smirk but finding only honest sincerity in his gaze.

"Can you see it?" Obi-Wan whispered between gentle kisses.

She couldn't believe what she was hearing and she did a double take. Was he actually serious? He couldn’t be. She felt foolish even considering the thoughts as being his in the first place, knowing that this was all just a dream concocted by her own mind to ease her loneliness. But as Obi-wan had suggested; what was the harm in a little dream-like indulgence?

"It does sound nice,"

"Nice? Darling, it could be ours," His voice was dripping with longing and desire as he spoke, his hand moving to gently caress her stomach. His thumb traced over faint lines that were barely visible that she often covered up, she instinctively reached to cover the perceived vulnerability, but Obi-Wan’s hands encased her own in a firm grasp. 

“Now, now, none of that.” His possessive tone sent shivers down her spine as his lips grazed her knuckles. "I missed so much of Solan's life.” His voice was filled with remorse and longing. “I never got to see your body swell with my child, never held him as a newborn, heard his first words, or watched him take his first steps. But it can be different this time. And Solan wants brothers and sisters, you know."

“How could you possibly know that?" she asked, curiosity piqued.

Obi-Wan’s smile widened. 

"I've seen the way he looks at other younglings, and he told me so himself," he confessed. "And I promise you, this time, I'll be by your side for every single one of them, supporting you and loving you as a true partner should."

She pulled back slightly, her eyes blinking in surprise. Did she hear him correctly?

"Every single one?" She repeated, trying to control the warmth spreading through her chest. She looked down, pretending not to notice the blush creeping up her cheeks. "Just how many children are you expecting in this imagined scenario?"

"As many as the Force sees fit," he answered mischievously, his playful side finally breaking through and wrapping around her like the blankets they lay under. 

Her mind began spinning with visions of a life entwined with Obi-Wan and their children. Children. Plural. She could see them under the golden hue of the setting sun, filled with laughter and unrestrained love. Solan, with eyes sparkling with pride, demonstrated his growing mastery of the Force, while his younger siblings gazed up at him in wonder.

Obi-Wan's presence and determination slowly chipped away at the walls she had built around herself. He spoke of a future where they could share the weight of their burdens and she could finally let go of the loneliness she had carried for so long. He promised to care for her deeply with every fiber of his being. 

Yet, one last shred of resistance remained.

"It’s not that simple, I need to protect you," She whispered, her voice barely audible, her eyes downcast to avoid his gaze.

"Protect me from what, darling?" 

"From me," she replied, her voice barely audible.

He laughed, a sound not mocking but filled with gentle understanding, and then his mouth claimed hers in a kiss that spoke volumes, asserting that his attachment to her was irrevocable.

"Obi-Wan," she breathed, her voice cracking with emotion. "I-" 

She tried to continue, to tell him how perfectly serious she was being and maybe scold him, but her words were cut off by more passionate kisses from him. Each one deeper than the last, and to further prove his point and silence any protest, he rolled them over, pinning her beneath him. Her words were muffled against his lips.

The words rolled off his tongue in a low, rumbling murmur as he reluctantly pulled their lips apart. 

It was clear he was hesitant to end the kiss.

"My dear, it is far too late for that realization. My heart has been hopelessly entwined with yours since the first moment I saw your face in the council chamber. And when I learned of our son, you became my fate." His warm breath mingled with hers as he spoke, the crackle of electricity still pulsing between them. 

She had been about to bring up the Jedi Order's strict stance on attachments, but before she could even form the words, he stopped her with another soul-scorching kiss. The heat of his touch branded her skin and the power of their connection seemed to surge through them both.

"The Force is not the Jedi Order; it has no owner,” he said solemnly, his hand gently caressing her cheek. “It is not bound by any rules. It has existed since time immemorial and will continue to exist long after the Jedi are dust and less than memories." He paused, a seriousness settling over him. 

The idea of leaving the Order was both thrilling and terrifying to her, causing her breath to catch in her throat. 

"Never again will you walk alone," he vowed. "No more running. I'll protect you, always." 

It seemed such a big thing, too big a decision to let him make and she shook her head in uncertainty.

“Cress,” he whispered gently with a soft touch, brushing away a strand of hair from her face as he stroked her cheek. “I see how tired you are, and I know you've carried far too much alone for too long.” Her eyes welled up with tears, unable to resist the truth in his words and she tried to look away but she couldn’t. 

“I know about the nightmares and the sickness, and I know why they plague you. It's time for you to let someone take care of you."

She blinked back a tear. "And that someone is you?"

"Absolutely," Obi-Wan declared with unwavering conviction. "It's my duty to take care of you now, and I swear I'll protect you and treat you like my queen if you'll only let me."

She hesitated, torn between the dreamlike world he painted and the reality they lived in. 

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew this was insane. But in this moment, as his arms enveloped her and she felt the comforting warmth of his body, the idea of a life together consumed her. And though it was going to hurt later, she allowed herself to indulge in the dream, savoring every second of it. 

What was the harm in enjoying a dream, if only a little bit?

The wounds from her time in the healing chambers may have healed physically, but nothing could ease the ache in her heart like these stolen moments with him. His lips were so close to hers that she could feel their gentle warmth, and all she had to do was lean in to make contact. So she did.

Without hesitation, she met his lips with her own, losing herself in his kisses that grew more passionate by the second

"Let's pretend," he whispered breathlessly between kisses, his touch tracing a delicate path along her collarbone. "Just for now... let's pretend that this is ours," his voice thick and husky with emotion. 

“That nothing exists outside this room, it’s been far too long since I’ve touched you, darling,”

Drawing her closer, he captured her lips in another kiss, and as their mouths melded together, all thoughts of the outside world faded away and she gave in, leaving only the two of them, wrapped in each other's arms.

Her longing for him, built up over countless nights of loneliness, surged within her and drowned out any remaining doubts. With an urgency she couldn't contain, she pulled him closer, desperate to fill the void that had grown insatiable in the ten years since she last felt his touch.

"See?" Obi-Wan murmured, his breath mingling with hers as their kisses grew more frantic and hurried. "We deserve this, Cressida. A moment of peace amidst the chaos we've faced."

Cressida nodded silently in agreement. His voice was a soothing balm to her, and she could listen to him speak for hours, but right now she had other plans for his quick-witted mouth.

"Just until my timepiece wakes me." She breathed against his lips before kissing him again, teasingly licking at his mouth.

"That's all I ask, darling," Obi-Wan replied, his smile evident in his voice.

Her hands traveled up his chest and tangled in his tousled hair, gently pulling at the locks she remembered he enjoyed, he’d positively melted at the sensation. She felt his approval reverberate through his body in a low moan, the hum of satisfaction warming her from the inside out. 

Memories of the last time she had felt him unravel at her touch surged forward, emboldening her to take more from this dream-like moment and fully indulge in its pleasures, savoring each sensation as if it were a rare delicacy.

"Was that so difficult?" he teased with a playful smirk. The warmth of his hand cradling her jaw sent shivers down her spine as his lips left hers and planted kisses along her neck.

Every touch sent a flurry of sparks through her body, igniting a fire that burned hotter with each passing moment and hungry kiss.

But then something changed. 

The hand that had been caressing her jaw gently, suddenly clamped down on her neck with a vicious hold, cutting off her oxygen supply. A blackness crept over him like a shroud, shadowy tendrils wrapped around him obscuring his handsome face until he became an unrecognizable mass of darkness and malice. Her breathing became labored, each gasp a desperate struggle for air. Panic surged through her body as she gasped for air, each breath a frantic struggle against the tightening grip. 

She was unable to take a breath, let alone speak. Her words trapped in her throat, and all that came out was a garbled response.

She clawed at his hand, trying to pry it away, but he only squeezed harder, sending sharp waves of pain through her throat. No longer recognizable, he was consumed by the darkness, a vessel for its insidious influence. Her heart clenched with impending doom, a crushing weight bearing down on her as she fought for every precious breath and she grew weaker.

Just as suddenly as it had come, the pressure on her neck vanished and she was left gasping and choking in the darkness. Clutching her neck and coughing, her head whipped around searching for him, but he was nowhere to be found.

"Obi-Wan?" Her raspy voice echoed into the endless void, but there was no response.

The warmth of the bed was replaced with a chilling emptiness, and the sunlight that once filled the room had faded to a distant memory. She was alone and vulnerable in this pitch-black world. Where had he gone? What had happened?

But there were no answers—only a suffocating darkness that threatened to consume her completely.

The eerie emptiness swallowed the warmth of the dream, leaving Cressida adrift in an endless void.

"Obi-Wan!" Her voice quavered, reaching out into the abyss for the man who had been by her side moments before. She fought against the panic in her heart. That wasn’t her Obi-Wan, it was something else. He was here somewhere, she had to find him.

A distorted echo of his voice responded, but she couldn’t understand his words, only the fear in his voice. The chilling sound sent shivers down her spine, her skin prickling with goosebumps. Desperate to find him, she stumbled through the nightmare landscape until she kicked something, she looked down to see her lightsaber at her feet. She breathed a sigh of relief and ignited the blade, feeling a bit more secure in its radiant orange glow.

"It's just a dream," she repeated, her voice trembling as she clung to the reassurance that none of it was real. "Only a dream." She could control this dream, she was the master of her subconscious. 

"Obi-Wan!" she called out, her desperation evident as she sought the familiar presence that could anchor her amidst the chaos. "Where are you?"

In the nightmare's depths, she scanned the shadowy expanse, but there was no sign of Obi-Wan.

"Obi-Wan!" she cried again, her voice tinged with desperation. Each breath formed icy clouds in the cold air, dissipating into nothingness.

A sudden movement caught her eye, and she turned slipping into the Guard pose of form three, Soresu, to face a spectral figure emerging from the shadows. Her blood went cold in her veins. It bore the likeness of her Master, Deva L'rue, his eyes ablaze with an otherworldly intensity that accused and condemned her without a single word spoken. Cressida recoiled in horror, unable to tear her gaze away from the haunting visage before her.

“Master?" she whispered, her voice trembling with fear and uncertainty. 

She reached out tentatively with her senses, trying to determine if this was just another trick of her mind or a genuine message from beyond. She felt small once more, like the terrified padawan she had been all those years ago.

The phantom's form began to shift and warp, changing shape until it resembled Obi-Wan himself, but his eyes continued to burn with that same corrupted stare – a dark shadow of the man she cared for. 

“It’s not real," Cressida muttered, shaking her head and taking a step back.

The menacing voice of the twisted apparition echoed through the darkness.

"Oh, but I am, Cressida, and you've led me here, to the darkness, just as you led your master." 

He drew his lightsaber and ignited a red blade, adopting a stance she knew anywhere; form seven – Juyo. The same form her master had favored. 

Phantom Stance. 

Obi-Wan sank into a crouched position, resembling a feral beast more than a man; his lightsaber held high, poised for a strike, while the other hand was raised in a claw-like gesture toward Cressida as if beckoning her into the darkness.

"Tell me, darling," he sneered, venom dripping from the word 'darling', "Will you murder me too?"

As her heart pounded in her chest, Cressida gripped her lightsaber tightly, her body coiled with tension as she assumed Ataru's Gale Strike Pose. Her feet planted firmly, one leg slightly forward, and her lightsaber held high above her head, poised for a swift and aggressive strike.

With a guttural snarl, Obi-Wan lunged forward and their blades clashed in a whirlwind of searing hatred and fear. The crimson and burnt orange light danced around them, their weapons moved too fast for the eye to track, creating an otherworldly aura of fury and despair.

Obi-Wan's skills were unparalleled, parrying her strikes with alarming ease, he wielded this dark form of combat with a prowess that seemed to mock his serene mastery of Soresu. His eyes blazed with an intensity that deviated starkly from the calm focus usually associated with his fighting style. Every aggressive strike of his current form was somehow taunting the disciplined and centered approach he typically embraced.

Every strike of her blade against his felt weak and fragile, each movement she made felt slower and less effective than his. As if she didn’t have the decade of experience as a battle-proven sentinel, nor the skill to match it. Panic began to gnaw at her as she struggled to understand why she couldn't gain the upper hand, why this battle felt eerily familiar in a way that sent shivers down her spine.

It was as if some unseen force guided their movements, leading them down a path of destruction that they couldn't deviate from. Every strike felt preordained and filled her with dread and a sense of deja vu as if she had fought this battle before in another life.

Because she had.

A terrible feeling of foreboding crept up her spine

Her instincts screamed at her to end this nightmare, but she was powerless to stop it, she couldn’t lower her blade, couldn’t disarm him, couldn’t even allow him to strike her down. As though someone else was controlling her actions like a horrific marionette, she could offer no deviation. Trapped by the shadows of the past.

In an instant, their movements stilled, and the world around them froze. 

Time seemed to grind to a halt as Obi-Wan loomed over Cressida, his lightsaber poised to strike. Every second stretched out in agonizing detail, etching itself into her mind with razor-sharp clarity.

With a surge of adrenaline, Cressida lunged forward, her senses heightened to an almost painful degree. 

In a deafening cacophony, the sound of her lightsaber sizzling and then reigniting reverberated through the chamber, drowning out all other noise. The once pure and harmonic hum had twisted into a menacing growl, mirroring the corrupted state of Obi-Wan's blade. 

The unmistakable scent of burning kyber crystals filled the air, assaulting her senses with an acrid tang. It was as if the very fabric of the Force recoiled in agony at the clash of their lightsabers, the tortured cries of the crystals reverberating through the chamber. 

The metallic stench of blood flooded her senses, overpowering all other senses until it was the only thing she could taste. There should have been no smell of blood, lightsabers cauterized wounds in an instant, burning hotter than the surface of suns and stars. And yet, there she was, surrounded by the coppery scent of death.

At best it should have been the smell of burning flesh but that too was horrific sensory input. 

She looked down in horror at the glowing blade protruding from Obi-Wan's chest, his once vibrant blue eyes now dull and lifeless. His lightsaber clattered to the ground and he slumped to his knees before falling back with a dull horrible thud.

Waves of guilt and despair crashed over her as she trembled uncontrollably, memories flooding back of a similar scene long ago.

"Obi-Wan, no," she begged, her voice cracking with desperation. “Not again,” 

The invisible force that held sway over her movements released her from its grip finally allowing her lightsaber to fall from her grasp. And a deafening tinnitus screamed in her ears, piercing through her skull like shards of broken glass, growing louder and more shrill until it was almost unbearable. She fell to her knees, hands pressed tightly over her ears as the relentless ringing threatened to shatter her eardrums. Even her screams were drowned out by the agony of the never-ending sound.

Suddenly, she jolted to wakefulness with a waterlogged scream.

Her body thrashed and flailed, violently in the bacta tank's healing waters, desperate to escape the torturous nightmare that had gripped her mind. 

The tank now felt like a watery prison, determined to hold her captive within her mind. 

And although the respirator provided her oxygen beneath the waters, in her panic it felt like she couldn’t breathe with it on and she clawed at the mask attached to her face, ripping it free in a frenzy as she broke the surface of the tank. 

Gasping for air, she clambered out frantically, landing with a thud on the hard floor, convulsing and heaving as if trying to expel the memory from her being. Retching violently, the once peaceful Halls of Healing now echoing with her screams and cries for mercy.

Obi-Wan sat across from his son, observing him with a sort of morbid fascination as he devoured his breakfast. The boy's enthusiasm for the stack of waffles before him was reminiscent of a snake unhinging its jaw to accommodate larger prey. In contrast, Obi-Wan's meal was far simpler: Tythonian yogurt and honey, a bowl of fruit, spiced eggs, and a steaming cup of sapir tea.

Solan shoveled another absurdly large forkful of waffles into his mouth with no signs of slowing and Obi-Wan couldn't help but wonder if his master, Qui-Gon, had ever regarded a young Obi-Wan with similar awe and slight horror. His once steaming breakfast was quickly growing cold, forgotten in the face of this bizarrely captivating sight.

"What?" Solan mumbled through a mouthful of waffles, catching Obi-Wan's gaze.

"Nothing," Obi-Wan replied, shaking his head with a small smile. He took a sip of his sapir tea, savoring its calming warmth. The foul mood that had greeted him upon waking was long gone, replaced by a sense of wonder and curiosity at the sight of his son, seated alone in the refectory.

He could feel the weight of their connection, both through blood and through the Force. Solan's blue and gray eyes, mirroring his parents, held an inquisitiveness that reminded him so much of himself at that age. The boy was eager to learn, ready to further his Jedi training, yet Obi-Wan sensed an underlying awareness of the implications of his heritage.

Obi-Wan's eyes flickered around the refectory, noting the empty chairs and half-eaten meals on the tables. The murmur of quiet conversations filled the air, but there was an undercurrent of tension that seemed to thrum through the room, as though a storm was brewing just beyond the walls. He turned his attention back to Solan, who remained oblivious to it all.

"Solan, you never said where your mother was. Do you think she’ll be joining us soon?" 

Obi-Wan asked, not missing the way Solan's eyes darted away from his for a few moments, avoiding the question. Taking a bite of his eggs and chewing thoughtfully and slowly, Obi-Wan studied his son, trying to read the emotions that danced across the boy's expressive face. 

"She went to the halls of healing late last night," Solan finally admitted, his voice barely audible over the din of the room. 

Obi-Wan paused, a bite of eggs halfway to his mouth but the pause was brief, and he quickly finished the gesture. A shadow of uncertainty clouded his eyes as he looked up at Obi-Wan, clearly unsure if he should be sharing this information. It came as no surprise to Obi-Wan that his son offered up the answer so reluctantly; Solan carried his own wealth of secrets, and at times the psychological burden of such made him physically shrink. This was one of those times.

Obi-Wan chose his next words very carefully, he could see the worry in Solan’s eyes, and he didn’t want to give Solan any reason to feel as though he shared what was meant to be kept secret. He considered reaching out with the Force, trying to sense any disturbances or hidden truths in Solan's mind, but thought it too invasive. 

"Is she not feeling well?" Obi-Wan pressed gently, trying to mask his concern with curiosity.

Solan hesitated, picking at the remnants of his waffles and looking down to avoid his father's gaze and Obi-Wan recognized the subtle tug-of-war within Solan – the desire to share what was happening with his mother, but also the fear of betraying her trust.

He could sense the weight of this information pressing down on Solan's young shoulders. Obi-Wan's heart tightened as he observed Solan's downcast eyes, the boy's small hands clenching and unclenching in his lap. 

“I’m not sure,” Uncertainty colored his words and his eyes darted around the room before finally settling back on his father. 

Obi-Wan understood he was holding a tool in his hands far more powerful than any lightsaber, the ability to ease his sons fears. With a sip of his tea and a nod of his head, he smiled softly. The warmth of the tea spread through him, granting him a momentary sense of calm. He tried to project this serenity onto Solan, knowing how important it was to keep his son's trust.

"Well, it's coming upon that time of year; colds and illness tend to spike a bit with the changing of seasons, and your mother's been off-world for some time. It could be that she's getting used to it again." He gave a soft chuckle, “It does tend to kick one in the backside though,”

Solan's eyes widened in surprise, the green pools reflecting the overhead lights as he looked up from his tea, its surface rippling with each tiny movement. "Really?" he asked.

"Oh yes," Obi-Wan replied, allowing himself a small smile as he watched the petals dance around his son. "The halls of healing will be a busy place soon, younglings, padawans, knights, and even masters tend to come down with a little something, I wouldn't worry though. But you'd do best to watch your own health as well, Solan, if you feel unwell, we need to make sure you're well-rested."

“A tired mind doesn’t learn,” Obi-Wan said gently, brushing away the unease coiling inside him. "I'm sure your mother will be fine."

He watched Solan's expression soften, the lines of tension easing from his brow. Relief flooded Obi-Wan, knowing that he had reassured his son, even if only for a moment. His concerns remained, however, burrowed deep within his thoughts, like a shadowy whisper he couldn't quite silence. 

Why was she in the Halls of Healing?

"Did she say anything else before she left?" Obi-Wan probed, hoping to glean more information without pushing Solan too far. “Maybe any symptoms she was experiencing?” 

Solan shook his head, his gaze skittering away once more. "N-no, just that she needed to go."

He hoped the words would bring comfort, and they appeared to as Solan offered a weak smile but a seemingly genuine one. The kind of smile given when the worry remains but the doubt is gone and he picked up his fork again. 

But it was all a lie.

Obi-Wan didn’t like the way falsehoods tasted in his mouth - he had always prided himself on honesty, as any Jedi would. But at times a little misdirection to allay greater fears was the better option. Yes, the seasons were changing but not in any way that saw colds and illnesses the way Obi-Wan had described. There were an abundance of allergies, and casualties of the pollen in the air, and as someone who was often afflicted, Obi-Wan knew the difference all too well.

He glanced at Solan, who was staring down at his plate, breaking off another smaller bite of waffles. The morning light filtering through the windows cast a gentle glow on his son's face, emphasizing the resemblance to his own features. He knew Solan was hiding something about Cressida's condition, but pressing for more information would only make the boy withdraw further. 

He had to be smart about this and form a strategy. So he opted for a change of subject that would ease Solan’s mind.

"Let’s talk about your training, are you ready to continue?" 

“Are we going back to the archives?” Solan's eyes lit up with excitement, the topic of training after two days of rest did the job rather splendidly.

“Not yet, Solan, we need to discuss what happened.”

Solan's voracious appetite diminished almost instantly, and he paused, a hint of uncertainty flickering in his eyes as he swallowed his food. Despite his youthful optimism, there was a noticeable change in his demeanor, a subtle acknowledgment of the seriousness of the situation.

"Am I in trouble?" 

Before Obi-Wan could answer with a thought-out response, a delicate hand found its way into Solan’s hair, ruffling it playfully.

“Why? Did you do something or did you simply get caught?”

Cressida appeared giving them both a warm smile, a steaming cup of caf cradled in her other hand, as she took a seat next to Obi-Wan as though she had been right behind them the whole time. 

With her arrival came a wave of pure relief, Solan smiled and fixed his hair, notably parting it back the way it had been which seemed to mirror how Obi-Wan styled his. Making Solan look like a smaller cleaner cleaner-shaven Obi-Wan. 

Obi-Wan too felt relief but it was short-lived as his keen eye began to take notice of small things, the tips of her hair were slightly damp, her olive pallor was a bit diffused giving her a slightly paler countenance and the almost indiscernible scent of bacta clung to her. He’d spent more than his fair share of time inside the damn tanks and he personally hated them, he didn’t like how trapped he felt, nor did he like the sterile smell, especially after the Clone Wars.

"Curiosity is no sin, Solan," she said softly, her voice carrying an underlying note of exhaustion. "But your father is right, we need to talk about what happened."

Her words seemed steadfast and certain, but there was a frailty to how she looked. His mind raced, trying to connect the dots between her appearance and the overwhelming sense of dread he'd experienced earlier that morning. The sudden chill he’d felt, had been all-encompassing like a bucket of icey water had been dumped on his and he’d felt every hair on his body standing on end.

Something was wrong, and it felt like it was lurking just beneath the surface, ready to emerge when least expected.

"Mom, are you okay?" Solan asked. “Dad said you might be getting sick from the change of seasons, are you feeling better?” 

She didn’t miss a beat and nodded, “Well, your father would certainly know, and yes, it seems being back on world has finally caught up with me.” Cressida offered a weak smile. "I’m fine, just a little tired. Now, let's talk about your training, sounds like your father has quite the morning planned."

As they discussed Solan's progress and areas for improvement, Obi-Wan couldn't shake the feeling that they were dancing around a hidden truth. His instincts screamed at him to delve deeper, but it would have to wait until later, he made a mental note to investigate the matter.

"Solan, there’s someone I- your mother, and I want you to meet.” He corrected himself, remembering how this was meant to be a unified decision between them despite the disparity they felt. “There's a Jedi Master who shares your ability to touch objects and read their histories," Obi-Wan explained, noting the shift in Solan's expression from worry to wonder. 

"Really?" Solan's eyes widened in amazement until Cressida gently nudged his open mouth closed, again. "I thought no one else could do it."

Obi-Wan chuckled and shook his head, “Not at all, psychometry is indeed a rare skill and few Jedi have the aptitude for it, but I know of one who does. His name is Quinlan Voss and I’ve known him for many years.”

Solan’s waffles sat forgotten and he blinked in disbelief and awe. “Now? When can I meet him? Can I meet him today? Is he here?” His questions came off as rapid fire and he began to practically vibrate in his seat.

“He’s currently off-world but he will be back in two cycles. I've reached out to him and asked for some of his time, he’s agreed to meet with us, all of us. That we might better be able to help understand and help you in learning to master your ability.”

Solan nodded, not to a question but merely as an excited gesture, his appetite returned to full force and he began shoveling waffles back into his mouth.

“Until then we’ll work on your training and when we all have a better understanding of how to help you, then we’ll return to the archives.”

"If we're not going to the archives, then what’re we doing today?"

"How about some lightsaber training?" Solan's excitement radiated boundlessly as he bounced in his seat.

"Really!" Solan exclaimed eagerly.

Obi-Wan nodded, "And some meditation of course,”

"I think I'm ready to try the shielding exercise again," Solan declared confidently, earning a surprised smile from Obi-Wan.

"That's wonderful. Your enthusiasm is commendable, if you feel ready we will try it again." Obi-Wan praised, his satisfaction evident. "After our training, your mother has something planned, doesn't she?”

“Since your father seems to have the more physical aspect of training for the day, I think we’ll focus on force sensitivity and control as well as a discussion on ethics and morality and maybe we’ll talk about the Jedi Initiate Trials and what that entails of, they’re a few months away. I think if you focus, we could see you ready to take the trials this year.”

Her goals were lofty and Solan looked a bit worried and overwhelmed but Obiwan seemed pleased and he also seemed to agree with her assessment.

“Your mother’s right, if we focus and you tackle your training there’s no stopping you. A master could be right around the corner for you, and maybe a padawan braid along with it.”

With the vote of confidence from his parents and the mention of a braid possibly in his near future, he nodded and sat a little straighter before taking a large bite of his waffles.

"Solan, as delicious as those waffles may be, there's no need to make a spectacle of it," Cressida gently scolded, reaching to cover his mouth with a napkin. "You eat like your father," She remarked with a smile, and Solan grinned back, his face adorned with a crumb-filled smile.

"Meaning what, exactly?" Obi-Wan quipped a hint of indignation in his gaze, he looked to Solan who was stifling a laugh, and then back to Cressida. "If you mean a healthy appetite, then yes, it appears he takes after me," 

"Hollow leg and all," 

However, as she smirked and sipped her caf, it dawned on him that she was teasing him. The subtle curve of her lips betrayed her amusement, catching him off guard, especially considering their previous encounters. He was relieved to see it and a bit of the worry he was carrying slipped from his shoulders.

"Mom, aren’t you hungry?” 

The relief he'd just felt vanished, replaced by a renewed heaviness in his chest.

She shook off Solan's concern with a dismissive wave of her hand. "I'll eat later," she assured them, a subtle resignation creeping into her voice, leaving Obi-Wan unsettled. 

His eyes darted between them, catching the tension in Cressida's stance and her reluctance to look at him, in fact, she hadn’t really looked at him at all. Yet, it struck him that she wasn't even looking at Solan either.

Carefully tracking her line of sight, he had a strong hunch she was staring at a nondescript spot on the opposite wall, her expression vacant, as if only half there, hiding something.

The tension from their earlier talk resurfaced, and he felt disappointed to suspect her initial playfulness might have just been a trick to divert Solan's attention. Yet, Obi-Wan stayed quiet, sensing it wasn't the right time for a confrontation. Luckily, Solan seemed oblivious to the subtle tension, happily focused on his breakfast. Although Obi-Wan wished to address the underlying issue, he couldn't quite figure out how to bridge the gap.

She glanced back at him, giving a brief nod that seemed almost rehearsed, her emotional walls still firmly in place. It puzzled him, like trying to solve an unsolvable riddle. Despite the tension between them, she appeared outwardly composed. Never had he felt so bewildered by a relationship. She wasn't his wife, nor were they involved romantically, though they once had been very intimately connected—she was the mother of his son. His mind raced with questions. What did he expect from her? A warm smile, a hug, maybe even a kiss?

Despite the invisible divide between them, it amazed him how quickly he had grown accustomed to enjoying their presence, how effortless it felt. Guiding Solan with a hand on his shoulder felt natural, as did sitting beside Cressida, whether as a partner or a parental figure. Uncertain of his own desires, he simply wished to understand Cressida's thoughts about him, whether there was something more between them—romantic or not. Or if there ever could be.

Those thoughts were vexing, everything about his relationship with Cressida was. He turned back to his tea, it was growing cold. 

Obi-Wan handed Solan a training saber, then took a few steps away putting a distance of maybe two meters between them, igniting his own lightsaber, its weight was vastly different compared to a proper lightsaber though it still emitted a soft glow that cast shadows across the room. Solan hesitated for a moment, his fingers tracing the hilt of the saber before he looked up at Obi-Wan.

"Are you going to ignite your saber, Solan?" Obi-Wan asked, curiously.

Solan shook his head. "No, Master.”

“Why not?” 

There was a genuine confusion in his question. Solan had been so excited to train with lightsabers, had he somehow misread his son?

“There's no need for it. A lightsaber should only be drawn when de-escalation, retreat, or negotiation isn't an option," he replied calmly, catching Obi-Wan by surprise with the eloquent and diplomatic answer. 

He nodded in agreement, impressed by Solan's understanding of the importance of exhausting all other alternatives before embracing combat.

"Very well said, Solan," Obi-Wan commended. "You have a keen grasp of the Jedi way."

Solan smiled modestly, but then Obi-Wan stepped towards him and Solan retreated the same distance. 

“But, noble as your logic is, I still have a weapon drawn on you and there is nowhere for you to run to, what will you do now?”

“Is negotiation not an option?” Obi-Wan chuckled heartily at his son. 

“I’m afraid not, my boy. And I won’t be swayed away from combat either, what will you do now?”

Solan heaved out a breath and ignited the training blade, slipping into the Guard pose of form three; Soresu. His blade held horizontally across his body, parallel to the ground, weight balanced on his back right foot. Obi-Wan smiled at the familiar pose and Solan’s impeccable posture.

"Now, let's begin with lightsaber forms," Obi-Wan continued, readying himself for the training. He raised his training saber in preparation to strike. "Why form three, Solan?" Obi-Wan inquired, observing Solan's stance with interest and a bit of pride.

Solan met Obi-Wan's gaze, his expression determined. 

"I need to be defensive, Master. I don't know what form you're using, and I don't know my opponent. Form three allows me to adapt quickly and defend against any attack," he explained confidently, his words laced with tactical insight.

"Impressive, Solan. Your tactical thinking will serve you well in your Jedi training." Obi-Wan nods approvingly, a sense of pride swelling within him. “Tell me, by what other name is form three known by?”

“The Way of the Mynock. It was developed in the Old Republic in response to the growing use of blasters by Sith and enemies of the Jedi, by Jedi Master Cin Drallig during the Jedi Order's study of lightsaber combat.” 

Solan's in-depth and concise answer was surprising and Obi-Wan nodded approvingly, he took another step toward Solan. The hum of lightsabers filled the room as Obi-Wan's lightsaber clashed against Solan's in an overhead parry.

Sensing Solan's struggle as he attempted to maintain his defensive block, Obi-Wan advised, "You can't maintain a block forever, Solan. Eventually, you'll need to counter or find another way to defend yourself."

Solan considered Obi-Wan's words carefully, realizing the truth in his father’s advice. With a quick nod and a subtle shift in his position, Solan disengaged from the block with a push and took several steps back, creating distance between himself and Obi-Wan. 

“A tactical retreat? Very well,” Obi-Wan watched Solan's movement with keen interest, noting the shift in forms. "Form four or five, Solan?" he mused aloud, recognizing the deliberate choice to create distance. “Aggression or balance?”

Solan gave a coy little shrug and a smirk. 

"Why the switch from form three, Solan? Form three was working well for you. You had a solid defense." Obi-Wan inquired, curiosity evident in his tone.

Solan met Obi-Wan's gaze, determination shining in his eyes. "I know you're a master of form three, Master Obi-Wan. I didn't want you to predict my next move," Solan explained calmly, his words reflecting a practical mindset beyond his years.

Obi-Wan nodded in acknowledgment, impressed by Solan's strategic thinking. "Your logic is sound, Solan. But be mindful—constantly switching forms can be tiring and may appear unfocused to your opponent," he advised.

“That would be their mistake,” Solan replied, bringing a smile to Obi-Wan’s face, Solan slipped back into a defensive posture. 

Obi-Wan offers a small smile of approval. "Indeed it would be, Solan," he agrees. "But you must also remember that victory in combat often requires a balance between defense and offense. Sometimes, you need to seize the initiative and take the fight to your opponent."

Obi-Wan raised his blade and lunged to strike.

In a chamber of the Northwestern Tower, Cressida stood surrounded by holographic displays, each revealing a different aspect of Anakin Skywalker's life. Her deft fingers navigated the many displays, allowing her to pull focus, pause, or zoom in on any particular bit of information at any time.

From the dusty plains of Tatooine where Master Qui-Gon Jinn first discovered him, to the recent HoloNet broadcast of his somewhat scandalous marriage to Senator Padmé Amidala, no detail escaped her scrutiny.

Anakin's mysterious birth and the absence of any biological father shrouded in mystery, yet underscored by Qui-Gon Jinn's steadfast belief in the prophecy of the Chosen One. 

Medical reports detailed his remarkable midichlorian count, sparking speculation and debate among the Jedi. His history unfolded as a tale of resilience, intertwined with the story of his enslavement alongside his mother, Shmi, and her tragic fate. Details of his family on Tatooine provided insight into his past. Records also highlighted Qui-Gon Jinn's involvement until his death on Naboo, at the hands of the re-emerging Sith. Obi-Wan Kenobi's pivotal role as Anakin's mentor, including archival footage of his impassioned plea to the council to honor Qui-Gon's dying wish, and the Jedi High Council's decision to allow Skywalker's Jedi training.

After becoming a knight, reports detailed General Skywalker's achievements in the Clone Wars. His bravery in battle made his name famous, but there were also controversial moments, such as his execution of Count Dooku. His relationship with his former Padawan, Ahsoka Tano, was rocky, from her trial and expulsion to her eventual exoneration and departure. Despite the fact, he had been vocal in his belief in her innocence. Skywalker's appointment to the Jedi High Council by Chancellor Palpatine raised eyebrows, and there was controversy when he was denied the rank of Jedi Master. However, his recent arrest of Senator Palpatine led to him finally being promoted to Master.

She’d read over it all many times, yet despite the work ahead of her and the vast amount of information available at her fingertips, her thoughts on her investigation stagnated and her mind wandered elsewhere. Her encounter with Yoda after she’d left Solan and Obi-Wan to train was still fresh in her mind, and it had left her pondering the extent of his knowledge regarding her personal situation. Yoda's ability to discern more than he let on didn't surprise her; he had always seemed to possess insights beyond the obvious. But it did worry her, she’d thought she was guarding her secrets well, yet after their discussion on the way to the Tower of First Knowledge, she was doubting herself as Yoda's words echoed in her thoughts, each line carrying a weight that she couldn't shake.

"Strength from burdens can be gained, yes. But weariness, they also bring. And weariness over time, erodes strength, it does."

"All Jedi are your family, including Obi-Wan. Do not forget."

"Over you, tiredness hangs, and only caf for breakfast, no breakfast at all is. Closely, the smell of bacta follows you. Neglecting one's well-being in favor of stubbornness, it does not do well."

Her contemplations were interrupted by the mechanical hiss of the heavy blast doors opening, for a brief moment the barrier that sequestered her from the rest of the Tower waivered announcing the intrusion into her solitude. Noxella’s shadowy figure seamlessly melded into the room's dimly lit corners. A practiced nod acknowledged her presence, unfazed by Noxella's otherworldly entrances; they had become routine. Yet, this was different. A solemn aura clung to Noxella, the uncharacteristic shift in her demeanor unsettled Cressida. It was as if the usually detached figure had been touched by an unfamiliar sorrow, casting an unexpected shadow over the chamber and stirring unease.

"Cressida," Noxella greeted quietly wearing a soft smile that looked so unnaturally forced, her hands clasped behind her back.

Cressida's apprehensive smile faltered at the sight of Noxella's unusual expression. It wasn’t to say that Noxella was often the bearer of bad news but rather if she was smiling in any capacity, it was usually to cushion the incoming blow. 

"Noxella, what brings you here?"

"I have news," Noxella replied, her tone grave. "About Obi-Wan."

Cressida's interest piqued at the mention of Obi-Wan, "What news? Is he alright?"

Noxella paused for a moment, steeling herself before delivering her message. "You were aware of Obi-Wan's formal request to be briefed on your off-world mission, were you not?"

A glimmer of hope ignited within Cressida's heart. "I was. Did the council reach a decision?"

The darkness in Noxella's expression told a story all its own. "Yes, but the council's decision requires unanimity.” Noxella hesitated before delivering the crushing blow. “And I regret to inform you that it wasn't achieved."

Her hope plummeted like a falling star, replaced by a sense of disappointment and frustration. 

“So, they denied his request?"

Noxella nodded solemnly, her eyes betraying her own disappointment in the council's decision. "I'm afraid so."

"I see," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. With a wave of her hand over the holo displays all traces of the investigation went black and the room darkened briefly before the lights shifted the illumination to a more acceptable lever.

Noxella's gaze softened, her expression sympathetic. "It wasn't my decision, you must know that," she reassured, her tone tinged with regret. "I share your belief that Obi-Wan deserves to know everything."

Despite her disappointment, Cressida nodded, her resolve unyielding. "I trust in the council's judgment, even if I don't understand it," she admitted, a hint of resignation in her voice. "Thank you for informing me, Noxella."

The news delivered, though it could have been communicated over a com, there was no reason for Noxella to remain, yet she didn’t leave, she took a step closer standing opposite Cressida. Her expression softened, her concern deepening 

"How is your investigation proceeding?"

Cressida exhaled wearily, her posture drooping as she pondered the inquiry. "I've thoroughly reviewed all available information, and although there have been a few minor missteps, there's no evidence to indicate that Anakin Skywalker was aware of Palpatine's ulterior motives. Considering recent developments, his connection to the Force appears stronger than ever, and he remains steadfastly aligned with the light side. Anakin Skywalker poses no danger, in my estimation."

Noxella's brow furrowed in concern, "But you suspect Palpatine did have plans for him?" she asked, seeking clarification.

Cressida's nod was solemn, her demeanor grave. "Indeed, strategically speaking, Anakin would have been a prime candidate for an apprentice," she began, her tone measured. "His midichlorian count, the highest ever documented, coupled with his remarkable achievements at such a young age, would have undoubtedly caught Palpatine's attention." She paused, her expression thoughtful. "It's likely that Palpatine would have manipulated circumstances to lure Anakin, putting his friends, allies, and loved ones at risk. While the immediate threat has subsided, it's imperative that we remain vigilant, keeping a close watch on anyone in Master Skywalker's circle for any signs of danger."

Noxella's relief was palpable, though tempered by lingering worry. "I see," she murmured, her tone thoughtful. 

Curiosity flickered in Cressida's eyes as she observed her friend's reaction. "Is something wrong, Noxella?" she inquired, sensing there was more to her mentor’s unease.

Noxella hesitated, "Extended stays in the bacta can cause one to lose their appetite," she began carefully, her words measured. “You look a little thin,”

Cressida looked weak and apprehensive, but didn’t bother to hide it, hiding things from Noxella would go over about as well as hiding things from Yoda. They simply couldn’t be done. Cressida's discomfort was palpable as she shifted uneasily in her seat, her gaze dropping to the floor. 

With a gentle yet probing tone, Noxella ventured, "Another nightmare?" Cressida's response was a terse nod. “They are growing worse, aren’t they?”

This time Cressida didn’t answer, maybe too afraid of what she might say.

Noxella regarded her with a mix of concern and hesitation. "It’s been my greatest desire to protect you from the time you came into my mentorship as a teen girl after the loss of your master, as such I've been hesitant to send you off-world since your return," she admitted, her voice soft but firm. "I am well aware of the pressures you are under."

Cressida's brows furrowed in confusion, her mind racing to piece together Noxella's concern. "What do you mean?" she asked, her voice laced with uncertainty.

"I worry that sitting here, surrounded by holos, may be doing more harm than good." Noxella's expression softened, her concern evident in her gaze. "And with each nightmare, every dip into the bacta’s waters I realize that perhaps my concern for your well-being, is in fact, hampering it," she admitted gently. "But, perhaps it's time for a change of scenery, a new focus now that it seems your investigation is running its course."

"An assignment?" Interest sparked in Cressida's gaze, a faint curiosity that rose like the first star at twilight, her guarded demeanor relaxing ever so slightly.

Noxella nodded, her lips curving into a small smile. "Yes," she confirmed. "Low risk, just information gathering. And you wouldn't be alone; you'd have a partner. No thrilling heroics, I’m afraid."

Cressida's lips parted, then closed, as if she weighed her words against the weeks of isolation and convalescence that had become her world. Then, with a lift of her chin that echoed the lineage of countless warriors before her, she met Noxella's gaze squarely.

"I'm ready."

Solan had started mimicking his father’s mannerisms not long after the nature of their relationship became known to him, both his parents had seen it and at first, Obi-wan wasn’t sure what to think of it but it quickly became a source of amusement for him. It was quite entertaining to see a ten-year-old boy stroking his chin in the same absent-minded way that Obi-Wan often did when lost in thought. 

He even had Obi-Wan’s controlled and graceful gait nailed as well; confidently, head held high, shoulders back, hand clasped behind him, taking slow measured strides, though admittedly Solan had to keep to a quicker gait due to his father’s longer legs. He looked very much like a much smaller Obi-Wan, minus the facial hair. 

Obi-Wan couldn't help but be flattered by this imitation; after all, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. 

It reminded him of his days as a young Jedi Knight, trying so hard to mimic the perfect poise and stoicism of the Jedi Masters whom he looked up to and admired. But ultimately found himself carrying himself more like his late master, Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon, who had very much so, always moved to the beat of his own drum. 

But even that too felt a bit forced, and eventually, he developed his own unique way of carrying himself, which his son more often than not mimicked.

Solan wore a wide grin on his face that outshone even the brightest stars in the galaxy as they strolled through the halls after their busy morning of lightsaber instruction, a meditation session, and finishing off their time with a shared afternoon meal. 

Their discussion of combat forms and principles had invigorated him in a way he hadn't felt in ages. Solan was always full of surprises when it came to his knowledge and insights. Not like Anakin, who used to butt heads with him over the proper techniques, and an endless barrage of questions that often felt combative. But Solan soaked it all up like a sponge, hungry to learn more, hanging off every word his father said.

Solan's true self began to emerge. His steps took on a lighter and more carefree cadence, with a hint of excitement in each bounce. 

Obi-Wan couldn't help but smile as he watched his son, it was contagious, so much that he found himself smiling brightly too. And with Solan by his side, Obi-Wan found himself walking with a newfound casualness reminiscent of his early days mentoring Anakin.

No need to be so formal all the time, he mused. 

"You did exceptionally well today, Solan," Obi-Wan remarked, his voice filled with genuine pride. "Your understanding of the forms is remarkable for one so young." 

Solan beamed with pride, his chest swelling a little with each word of his father’s praise. "Thanks, Obi-wan," 

Obi-Wan studied his son carefully as they walked, questions brimming in his eyes, "I'm curious, though. How did you become so proficient with the forms, given the... unconventional nature of your upbringing?"

Solan's expression softened, a faraway look on his face as he recalled fond memories. 

“Well, mom couldn't teach me like other younglings, but she said it was important and that we had to be sneaky about it." 

He smiled slightly, reminiscing. "And we had to hide what we were doing, so no one would find out who we were or what she was really teaching me, so she taught me like she was teaching me a dance."

Obi-Wan's eyebrows raised in surprise at the revelation. "A dance?" 

Solan nodded happily, “She started with form one when I was four, it was just before she had to leave me for a mission, and she told me to practice while she was gone and we would work on them together when she got back. She said I had to learn the footwork perfectly first. And while she was gone I would practice all day and all night until I fell asleep, when she came home, I’d show her what I learned, we would practice together and then she’d teach me more."

It was such a simple solution and it wasn’t unheard of for combat to be compared to a dance. In fact, the two boasted many similarities. What a delightful way to teach an excitable child! 

"That's quite clever indeed."

“The tricky part was learning how to do the forms without being able to use a lightsaber,”

Obi-Wan paused, he hadn’t considered that, Solan’s form with even the training saber seemed as natural as breathing, like he’d been doing it for years.

“What did your mother use in place of a lightsaber?”

“She stole a scarf from a merchant!” Obi-Wan’s eyebrow shot up in surprise.

“Your mother did what?”

Solan laughed loudly and nodded, “Yup! She went to the market at night, snuck in, stole a bright blue scarf from a merchant, and told me to pretend it was a lightsaber.” 

His voice grew more animated as he explained. "It felt really silly doing it at first,” Obi-Wan nodded, that he could certainly understand, and the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. “But then she told me it would make learning look more like it was really a dance and not lightsaber forms. She said it was all about precision and control, and when the time came all I would need to adjust to was the weight of a lightsaber."

Obi-Wan nodded thoughtfully, a newfound appreciation for Cressida's methods dawning on him. Solan's movements did have a certain grace and fluidity to them. A scarf as a training tool? Obi-Wan chuckled at the simplicity of the solution, meant to keep Solan accustomed to something in his hand and be mindful of how his movements dictated the movement of something as simple as a scarf. And indeed, the more he thought of it, the more it did seem like the graceful forms of combat might look like an elegant dance to an untrained eye. Who looks for a Jedi with a lightsaber when all they can see is a boy with a colored scarf, dancing?

Obi-Wan stopped and crossed his arms over his chest, “Do you still have the scarf?” Solan nodded and reached into his robes pulling out a slightly faded blue scarf that looked like it had been his most treasured possession. 

Obi-Wan smiled “Show me.”

Solan stood at the center of the large empty hall and began with his feet shoulder-width apart, holding the scarf in both hands. The pose was Whirwinds Embrace; he spun swiftly, using the momentum to propel himself forward in a lunging motion. As he extended his arms outward, the scarf flew forward as a lightsaber might deflect an incoming attack, creating a protective barrier around him. He moved seamlessly into Cascade of Serenity; beginning with a series of quick, evasive steps, weaving between imaginary opponents, the azure scarf fluttering in a way reminiscent of the blurred light of a lightsaber. He lowered his arms as if striking down adversaries with precise, flowing movements, the scarf acting as an extension of his will. Despite the intensity of his actions, his demeanor remained calm and composed, reflecting his mastery of the Force.

Obi-Wan watched transfixed at his son, as he executed these very same movements just hours earlier with a training saber but this was somehow different and it did, indeed look like a stunning piece of performance art. Who would have thought a mere scarf could be an effective training tool? Yet here was living proof of Cressida's resourcefulness as an unorthodox teacher.

The series of quick and agile spins of Zephyrs Dance flowed as beautifully as a ballet, evading imaginary attacks from all directions. Each whirl of the scarf disarmed imaginary opponents and created openings for counterattacks, his movements still graceful yet unpredictable to a degree, it would surely keep adversaries off balance and unable to predict his next move. It would be a perfect form for a craft assassin to get close to a target.

Obi-Wan watched attentively as Solan moved through the elegant motions of Form I, admiring the boy's natural talent and dedication to the art of lightsaber combat. Despite his unconventional upbringing, it was clear he had a natural aptitude for the art of combat. 

His final pose was Cresting Wave; Solan exploded into motion surging forward with a spriteful leap, the scarf trailing behind him like a comet’s tail. As he moved, the scar flew before him creating an artful barrier that mimicked a flurry of attacks, each strike of the scarf delivered with precision. His movements like a force of nature, unstoppable and relentless as a wave crashing on the shore, embodying the strength and ferocity of a Jedi in battle.

The scarf fluttered to his side as he came to rest in a ready pose completing the motions and looking to his father who simply watched in fascination before offering applause, clapping at his son who beamed brightly. To the casual observer, it may have looked like dancing, but Obi-Wan recognized the solid foundations of Form One. 

"Remarkable," mused Obi-Wan. "Your graceful style is a testament to your mother’s wisdom."

Solan tucked the scarf back into his robes, and suddenly looked around and shrunk back slightly as a few Jedi passed through the halls, his voice was soft and he looked uncertain. 

"That's ok, right Obi-Wan?” he asked, brow furrowing. “That Mom taught me with a scarf instead of a real lightsaber? It’s not, disrespectful or anything, right?"

Obi-Wan squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. "Not at all, my boy. In fact, I believe your training has prepared you remarkably well. You show a grace and fluidity in your movements that surpass many trainees your age.”

​​Obi-Wan's hand rested reassuringly on Solan's shoulder as they continued walking, a simple gesture that spoke volumes to the boy. Though Solan tried to exude confidence, there was an unmistakable spring in his step now, a lightness that came from his father's praise. 

“Solan, your understanding of Shii-Cho is well-rounded, few grasp the form so quickly. You're going to make a fine duelist someday."

Solan beamed, relief washing over his face, his cheeks reddened at the praise. "You really think so?" He had spent his young life concealing his abilities, but to have them recognized and encouraged lit a fire in him. 

"I do," Obi-Wan affirmed. He was certain the boy would grow to be a skilled warrior.

And yet, glimpses of playfulness peeked through Solan's studious exterior - the bounce in his step. He was still a child at heart. 

"The unconventional nature of your instruction is a testament to your mother's wisdom and creativity, the fundamentals are all there" Obi-Wan continued. "She did well to start you on the right path." As they continued on, Obi-Wan made a mental note to thank Cressida for instilling such a solid foundation in the boy. Her ingenious methods had served Solan well.

Obi-Wan gave his shoulder a paternal squeeze.

"You have nothing to worry about," the Jedi Master said warmly. "Now come, your mother awaits us. And I am certain she will be most pleased to hear of your progress today."

“When can I go to Illum and make my lightsaber?”

His enthusiasm was infectious and Obi-Wan chuckled. "All in due time, young one. For now, let's continue honing your skills."

As they stepped off the turbolift and neared Solan and Cressida’s quarters an idea struck him.

"You know, Solan," he began, a playful glint in his eyes, "I suppose I'll have to make sure you know how to dance properly as well." 

Solan looked up quizzically. "Dance? Like, real dancing?”

Obi-Wan nodded. "Indeed. Combat and dance have much in common - precision, fluidity, reading your partner." 

Solan arched an eyebrow, curiosity evident in his expression, a hint of skepticism in his voice. "Why would I need to learn that?"

Obi-Wan chuckled softly, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "You never know when it might come in handy," he replied cryptically. "Charm and poise can be as great a tool as a lightsaber sometimes." 

Solan looked unconvinced, nose still wrinkled in distaste. Obi-Wan suppressed another laugh. The boy had his mother's stubborn streak, that much was clear. 

"Come now, dancing isn't so dreadful," Obi-Wan cajoled. "It can even be fun, with the right partner."

Solan made a face. "Do I have to dance with girls?"

The thought seemed to disturb him greatly. Now Obi-Wan did laugh out loud at the boy's reaction, as it reminded him so much of himself at that age. He too had found the idea of dancing with girls thoroughly unappealing, long ago. 

"Perhaps someday you won't mind so much," he said, eyes dancing with mirth. "After all, your mother is a girl, and you love her, don't you?"

"That's different," Solan insisted, though his expression had softened a bit. "She's my mom."

Obi-Wan nodded in understanding, an amused smile still playing about his lips. "Yes, I suppose you're right about that, “Regardless, a gentleman should know the basics. No lightsabers on the dance floor." 

He added with a smile. “Manners matter, Solan, I should need to make sure you at least can grasp the fundaments of actual dancing. Perhaps we’ll get your mother to help teach you, no doubt she could probably use a lesson too, she was about as keen as you are when she was young.”

Solan didn’t seem interested, "Well, you can dance with Mom, and I'll stick to lightsabers." Obi-wan smiled at the thought. What would Solan do when he saw a girl he found pretty?

The doors to their quarters slid open and Solan strode on in, Obi-Wan braced himself for a conversation that he knew might not go as he would have liked but he wanted to continue to be present for Solan's training. Yes, that was it, he would simply ask if she minded if he stayed put for whatever lesson she had to teach. It wasn’t such a difficult thing, they were both mature adults and could certainly behave as such, couldn’t they? 

He followed Solan inside and immediately sensed something was wrong. The boy's shoulders were slumped, his footsteps lacking their usual lively bounce. Obi-Wan noticed the somber expression on his young companion's face as he stared at the table in the living space. Following Solan's gaze, Obi-Wan spotted the objects that had given the boy pause - a data stick and a lightsaber. 

Obi-Wan's heart sank, though he tried not to outwardly react. He had a dreadful feeling he knew what Solan had realized. The data stick and lightsaber could only mean one thing - Cressida had left unexpectedly. Though Obi-Wan was surprised by this development, he remained calm, not wanting to upset Solan further.

"Solan," he began gently. "Is everything alright?" 

He did not respond right away, still processing this discovery. After a long moment, he finally spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. "She's gone." 

Obi-Wan's heart ached at the quiver in Solan's voice. 

Solan's face fell as he lifted the cylindrical hilt, running his fingers over the ridged metal grip of his mother's lightsaber. Though unlit, he could almost see the brilliant orange blade humming before him. With reverent care, he looped the data stick's cord around his neck, tucking the precious drive out of sight beneath his robes. 

"Even if," he murmured, gaze distant. 

Obi-Wan's brows knitted together, perplexed by the odd remark. But the Jedi Master held his tongue, unwilling to pry into such an intimate, vulnerable moment. Whatever Solan's whispered words had meant, some sorrows were too tender to be touched so soon.

Solan's eyes refocused, meeting his father's concerned stare. "You can go, father. I think I'll meditate and eat, then I'll go to bed. I'll see you in the morning at breakfast." Though his words were polite, his tone was flat and lifeless.

Obi-Wan frowned. The complete lack of emotion in the boy's voice bothered him deeply. This was not the Solan he knew - usually so quick to laughter and enthusiasm. 

"No," he said firmly, a decision made in an instant. 

Solan looked up, confusion flickering across his features.

"Solan, go and gather your things. You'll stay with me in my quarters until your mother returns." 

For a minute the boy didn't move, uncertainty plain on his face. Then, with a gentle nudge through the Force from Obi-Wan, he stepped towards his bedroom, movements slow and hesitant. Still, there was a spark of excitement in his aura at the prospect of spending this time with his father. 

As Solan busied himself packing, Obi-Wan turned his gaze to the window. The sun was setting over Coruscant, staining the sky crimson and gold. 

"May the Force be with you, Cressida," he whispered into the fading light, hoping with all his heart for her safe return.

A few moments later Solan emerged from his bedroom, a small bag clutched in one hand. He hovered in the doorway, shoulders hunched, as if reluctant to leave the familiar comfort of his room. 

Obi-Wan gave him an encouraging smile and held out an encouraging arm to beckon him. "Come, let's be off."

Together they left the quarters Solan had shared with his mother, Solan walked slowly, dragging his feet. He kept glancing back over his shoulder, eyes troubled.

Obi-Wan set a gentle hand on his son's shoulder. 

"I know you're worried for your mother. But have faith, my boy. She is resourceful and strong in the Force. No harm will come to her, that much I am certain of" 

Solan bit his lip but nodded, some of the tension easing from his slender frame. 

They continued on in silence through the maze of corridors that made up the Jedi Temple as they entered into parts that Solan had never been to before. Up a turbolift into one of the rising towers that often houses masters. Solan seemed deep in thought, though Obi-Wan could sense his curiosity about visiting his father's living space for the first time.

When they arrived at Obi-Wan's modest quarters, the door opened with the same mechanical hiss as all others did. 

"Come in, make yourself at home."

Solan stepped cautiously into the inviting space, his gaze wandering over the sparse yet cozy furnishings. The room exuded warmth, with soft lighting casting gentle shadows across the walls adorned with rows of holobooks. Among the few artifacts carefully displayed were a couple of holocrons, their ancient wisdom quietly beckoning from their resting places.

"I know it's not much to look at, but I hope you'll be comfortable here," Obi-Wan said, suddenly self-conscious about his humble abode.

Solan set his bag down and turned to Obi-Wan with a shy smile. "It's nice. Thank you, Father."

Obi-Wan's heart swelled. Perhaps this arrangement would be good for both of them, a chance to truly get to know one another.

"You're quite welcome, my son."

Twelve

Hopefully, the length of this chapter makes up for my lack of posting on this story! What do you guys think? Do we have more answers or only more questions??? Well, hopefully, I'm over this writer's slump and I hope you guys enjoyed the latest chapter installment of my story. If you liked it then feel free to reblog and give me a comment on what your thoughts are, you guys make my day with your hilarious tags! Here's hoping Cressida's dream (at least the good part of it) turns to reality sooner rather than later! If you'd like to join my small but lovely taglist reblog or leave me a fun comment and let me know what you thought of it!

And for all of you who liked my Padawan one-shot Obi-Wan/reader insert/Master/Padawan story I am currently working on a second chapter! So stay tuned! Alright! Enough pandering, back to work, these stories don't write themselves!

@burnthecheshirewitch. @heyhawtdawgs. @pickleprickle. @split-spectrum(I know I've never tagged you in this story before but I thought you'd appreciate the Obi-Cress fluff in the beginning!) @bad4amficideasYo asked to be tagged in future Obi-Wan works and this is a longer story but I thought I'd throw it out there anyway and if it's not your thing no hard feelings at all and I will be posting a second chapter to Padawan soon! Gotta sere that smut nice and hot! ;)

[jugheadthelesbian]

annie cresta in the quarter quell chapter eleven

Under the surface, I feel like myself. The connection between District Four and the sea is an unbreakable bond. As the poison seeps from my damaged skin, my screaming stops and I open my eyes. Cashmere and Gloss have let go of me, so I float freely underwater watching fish of every color swim around me and the coral far below my feet sway with the water’s current. I am reminded of summers in clear ocean water with my body becoming one with the ocean’s ecosystem. Every second spent in this water is a reminder of who I am. Careers from District Four are the fastest swimmers and the best divers. In my head, we are one with the water, more sea creatures than tributes. Under the surface, I become Anastasia Cresta, Victor of the 70th Hunger Games and Career tribute.

~~ or something something rebirth, something something im back

[zoloft-and-anime]

1950 Ch.1- No Matter What

A/N- Hey yall! here's the first chapter in this series! It may be a little packed with info but it has some important points. No real warnings so far! Also if anyone has name suggestions Id love to hear cuz honestly a name is escaping me rn. Enjoy!

Content: reader is kinda shy, gay panic, Steve is confused, brief Eddie appearance

Thinking back, you can’t remember a time when you and Robin Buckley weren't attached at the hip. Since the moment the two of you met in the second grade, life-altering damage had been done to your lives in the form of a new, unbreakable bond. 

Your life had just been completely uprooted at seven years old, all your personal belongings packed into large cardboard boxes as your mother explained to you that the move to Hawkins was essential to your father’s career. Hopping into the back seat of your mother’s 1970 Range Rover, your father manning the wheel or the moving truck just in front of you, memories of your hometown flooded your mind. 

None of those memories, however, included any friends. No playground buddies from your elementary school, no neighborhood children who would come by to play. You had sat alone at lunch and recess, preferring to stay indoors during the summers. Your introverted and shy nature was apparent to those around you, leading them to leave you in your own, secluded world.

Despite the lack of friends, the move was hard to process. Change wasn't something you took easily, even at that age.

Robin Buckley, on the other hand, was a much more extroverted and talkative young girl, often getting herself in trouble for speaking out of turn in class. She immediately introduced herself to you as soon as she noticed that there was a new, unfamiliar face in her class.

“Hi! Are you new here? My name’s Robin and I’m seven years old, but I turn 8 next month!”

She was loudly speaking to you no more than three feet away from your visibly nervous figure, holding up six digits in a failed attempt to express her age. 

“That's six, didn't you say you were seven?” You reply, taking a step back to ease your anxiety.

Never in your life had you met a person as outgoing as this, or rather as interested in you. 

“Oh is it? Sorry, I'm still learning!” she responded, no offense taken to your statement and a grin on her face, missing a couple of teeth that had no doubt been compensated for in cash from the tooth fairy.  “Come on! It's almost recess. You can play cops n’ robbers with us! Don’t worry ill go easy on ya.” 

And with that, she grabbed your hand and led you to the playground. Your first friend, readily introducing you to some of the other children on the playground.

Most of them would fade out of your life, moving away, finding different friends, and growing out of your friendship. But never Robin. That day she had proclaimed you best friends for life, drawing up a picture in crayon of the two of you, hand in hand, with your names above your heads and the words ‘best friend’ plastered above the image. She handed you the paper with the words “You’re my best friend, no matter what.” right before dismissal.

Since then that picture has never left your room. Eleven years of friendship, and it has maintained its place, carefully folded in the bottom of a wooden box containing keepsakes collected by the two of you over the years. Bracelets, letters, random rocks you found walking together, polaroids of you at various ages. 

Now, in your senior year of high school, the two of you remain inseparable. Hitching a ride to school with Robin’s new friend Steve on the first day of the year. 

“Steve, as much as I'm grateful for the lift, don't you have anything better to do than drive high schoolers to class?”  You inquired as Robin playfully elbowed you from the seat next to you. 

“For your information I do, I'm just doing a favor for a friend… and her..friend. You two didn’t have to both sit in the back seat like I'm some sort of chauffeur though.” Steve shoots back, quickly glancing to the back seat to see the two of you giggling like idiots. “Robin, you two are just friends, right? Like I don't know why you wouldn't tell me if..” Robin immediately cuts him off loudly, “NO! No way not at all. We’re just friends. BEST friends! I don't even like girls like that.” 

Steve shoots Robin a confused glance in the rear view mirror as you look out the window, letting out a soft laugh at the idea of you and her in love. She sends him a look that tells him to keep his mouth shut.

The only secret Robin had ever kept from you in your entire friendship was the fact that she was gay. Steve wasn’t even supposed to know, it had just come out in her drugged-up stupor after his awkward confession. She loved you more than anything, you were her best friend, the only one who would always stick by her side, no matter what, but you just couldn't know. 

Sure, she felt guilty for keeping this entirely crucial aspect of her life a secret from you, but she couldn't help but fear your reaction. Deep down she knew it shouldn’t change anything, but something in her said that she’d regret it. So she kept quiet. 

The rest of the car ride consisted of you and robin being utter fools in the back seat, with you laughing at whatever snarky joke she made at the expense of your classmates or Steve’s child friends, as well as steve muttering quiet rebuttals and pondering the reasons as to why Robin’s “best friend” had no idea she was into girls. 

He shoved that to the back of his mind as he pulled into the school parking lot, shouting a quick “goodbye” to you and Robin as she declared that you two would see him after school.

As you two entered the building, her arm linked with yours, you begin to discuss your schedules, noting that you had the same homeroom and lunch, as well as English.

“Finally I get you in English!” Robin sighs, pulling on your arm slightly. “You know how I hate doing those long annoying essays! I just can't stay focused on them. You’re like an English whiz so we could totally be study buddies, yeah?” Her enthusiastic statement makes you chuckle, as well as your heart swell slightly due to the flattery. “Only if you help me with math. I know we don’t share the class but you’re much better with numbers than I am.” You reply with a nudge to her side. “Oh of course ill help you. When have I not?” she responds “I gotta get to class now, see you in homeroom.” She releases your arm as you turn the corner and stop to briefly stand against the wall.

“This year is gonna be great. I promise. Bye (y/n)! Love ya!” 

“Love you too Ro!” You smile at her. Something in the short statement pulls at your heartstrings even after all this time. 

You were forever grateful to have a friend that cared this much for you. That you could tell her anything without judgment. That the two of you would always be by each other’s side.

In fact, you couldn’t begin to imagine being this close with anyone else.

Maybe that's why your heart was beating so fast in your chest. Because she was so special to you.

Sure, thoughts of a deeper bond had crossed your mind before, but those were just that. Thoughts. You weren’t even into girls like that! And she definitely wasn’t either, always being quick to deny accusations of that nature. Plus, she was totally into this new friend she had made at her summer job. Why else would she follow him to her new job at the video store after things, well, fell through with Scoops Ahoy. 

As you turned the corner your heartbeat finally slowed, your thoughts slowing as well as you located your first period history class and took a seat near the back. You werent certain you’d have many friends in this class; you had always been sort of a loner when the company of your best friend was absent.

Just as the bell rang, a taller boy with long dark hair and a t-shirt with words you couldn’t make out slid into the desk right next to you, large rings on his fingers clicking against the wood as he did so. Turning your head, you met his eyes. He shot you an exasperated expression, followed by a mischievous smile before he turned toward the front to pay attention to the lesson that had just begun.

This was sure to be an interesting year if nothing else.

[naughtyneganjdm]

The Mistress - Chapter 54

Summary: After Ethan had a melt down over Alexandria trying to take Negan away, Y/N and Negan decide that it's for the best to start looking into the farmhouse that Y/N found in the past.

Characters: Reader, Negan, Ethan, Logan, Lydia, etc.

Warnings: Swearing, smut, etc. 

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9366677/chapters/83366671

Notes: I'm sure there are so many errors and I will look through this later and hopefully edit it some. I'm sorry. It's 4 in the morning and I just wanted to get this up for people.

The best thing for you right now would have been sleep. Hell, you never got enough of it. Yet, here you were wide awake. Turning on your side, you looked over at Negan to see that Ethan was sprawled out over Negan. When Negan returned to Alexandria, Ethan hadn’t left Negan’s side. It was like he was afraid that if he let go of his father, Negan would disappear again.

Ethan’s head was buried against the center of Negan’s chest while he slept. Negan was fast asleep as well with his arms hooked tightly around Ethan while they slept. There was an unbreakable bond between the two of them and it was visibly obvious whenever they were together. You wished that things were innocent and pure as the two of them together were while they were cuddled up sleeping together.

While the scene was quite beautiful between your husband and your son, you were having a hard time admiring it because all you could keep seeing in your mind was your son having a break down in Negan’s arms when he returned to Alexandria. The sounds of his cries replayed in your mind and you were heartbroken to know that this town had taken such a toll on your son. Ethan was strong. There was no denying that you son was brilliant for his age. He understood everything and he took it hard.

Ethan’s mental health was really starting to worry you and this was all at the hands of those that lived in Alexandria. An eleven-year-old boy should not have had to deal with all that Ethan had. All that pain and agony should not have been weighing heavy on his shoulders. Ethan was still just a child for fuck’s sake. He wasn’t even a teenager yet, but the emotions he was going through were very much those of someone much older. Alexandria never took your children’s health into consideration and that pissed you off more than you cared to admit.

Sliding in closer to the boys in the bed, you reached out to stroke your fingers through Ethan’s dark hair. Logan wasn’t having as much trouble with this as Ethan was. Logan was still sleeping in his room comfortably. Ethan was the one that was afraid to let go of Negan. You didn’t blame him for that, but it reminded you all over again of how young Ethan still truly was.  

Your touch didn’t wake Ethan up from his slumber, but he adjusted over Negan’s chest and his eyes clenched tighter when you did it. The movement of Ethan over Negan managed to wake Negan up. Immediately, his first thought was to check on Ethan. It made you let out a long breathy exhale when Negan’s eyes were fluttering to an open. Lifting his head, Negan made sure that Ethan was still okay while he stroked his fingers through Ethan’s dark hair. With Negan’s eyes hooked on Ethan, you could tell that Ethan was without a doubt Negan’s number one priority right now. When he was sure that Ethan was all right, Negan lowered his head back down against the pillows. His head turned so he could stare out at you and when his eyes met yours, a tiny smirk tugged at his lips.

“Hey beautiful,” Negan yawned while still attempting to be quiet enough not to wake up Ethan, “You don’t look like you’ve slept at all.”

“I haven’t been able to,” you were honest. No reason not to be. Reaching out, you stroked your fingers over the length of Negan’s arm. For a moment you focused on one of his tattoos and sighed. “Things are getting bad here Negan.”

“I know,” Negan confessed, not really sure of what to say. It sounded like Negan was stressed with his own thoughts before speaking up again. “What things are you thinking about?”

“Everything,” you answered knowing that he would know what you were saying when an overwhelmed breath fell from your throat. “Things are already hard enough with the food becoming scarce. Let alone with how people are treating you now that Maggie is back. I don’t know how much more of this he can take Negan. The people here are breaking our little boy.”

“I know,” Negan admitted, lifted his head up enough to press a long, lingering kiss over Ethan’s head before stroking his fingers through Ethan’s hair again. “It took hours to get him to calm down earlier. I knew it was bad, but today I saw just how bad. If I would have known keeping him here would have hurt him so much, I would have never done this. I just thought this was somewhere we were safe. Somewhere we could easily stay alive. I knew the people of Alexandria were judgmental, but I thought they would keep my family safe.”

“You weren’t wrong in thinking that way. On the outside someone might actually think that would be the case,” you acknowledged and Negan’s jaw flexed when he looked over Ethan again. “I think that was the case when Rick was here. Hell, even Michonne too. Now that there is no one really leading, that’s where this is all falling apart.”

“Rick was a good man,” Negan’s eyes closed tightly when he let out a frustrated breath. “If he was here, I wouldn’t be so fucking nervous for all of us. I don’t think he would have ever let this happen with Ethan.”

“I’m not ever sure about that Negan. The fact he kept us away from you for so long…” you thought back to when you first had Ethan. It took a very long time before Rick even allowed you the two days a week visit with Negan. “I know Rick was a good man, but people seem to crumble underneath Maggie here. She abandons the community and look at how easy they bend to her every want and need.”

“Yeah, I noticed that,” Negan sighed loudly and you knew that this was all wearing heavy on Negan.

“One day, these people are finally going to get what they want and they will take you away from us. It doesn’t matter what any of us do and say, they are going to keep coming for you until they think they’ve gotten what they want,” you hated to admit this to him because it would just make his thoughts worse, but these were things going through your head as well. If Negan died, it would tear your whole family apart. “If Ethan were to lose you…I feel like I would lose my boy.”

Hearing that made Negan’s face scrunch up and in the darkness you could still make out that his eyes were tearing over. Lifting up, Negan pressed another kiss over Ethan’s head and let it linger. When he lowered back down again, Negan had a single tear sliding down the side of his face. Your comment had visibly made him emotional at the thought.  

“You are Ethan’s world Negan,” you reminded him and Negan’s Adam’s apple bounced in his throat while he looked over his son that was sleeping comfortably over his chest. “You have a baby on the way and two sons. They didn’t consider that. All they cared about is what they wanted. Our family to them is nothing. That tells me everything right now. They all know how much Ethan loves you, yet they are willing to risk you and force me to stay here just because I know a lot of medical things? It’s not worth it Negan. We need you more than ever.”

“Where was this place that you found? The farm?” Negan inquired, finally giving his attention back to you and he swallowed down hard. Multiple times you had mentioned it, but it was something that Negan never really seemed interested in for real until now. “I’m not exactly comfortable with us going out there with you pregnant like you are.”

“What’s the other option Negan? Potentially have them kill you while we wait for the baby to come?” you pushed the subject and watched Negan’s face twist with confusion on what he should do. Yeah, you were pregnant. Very pregnant. But that didn’t stop you from knowing that Negan’s life had to be thought about. There was no other option at this point. “It scares me too at the idea of change, but I don’t feel like you or Ethan are safe here. If I thought things would get better and people would finally give you a chance, then I would say let’s wait it out. I just can’t keep doing this and seeing this happening to both of you. I love my family and they are breaking because of these people.”

“I know,” Negan frowned and he pulled Ethan in closer to him so he could hold Ethan tightly to his body. “I guess we can sneak away tomorrow if Lydia is okay with watching the boys for us. The two of us can go and look at the place. See if we really think we could live there and make a living for all of us there.”

“Okay,” you lifted up on your shoulder to reach out to stroke over the side of Negan’s face. Taking your time to stroke over side of his rough face, your fingertips lingered over the scar that was there. Without meaning to, you found yourself getting emotional over everything. A worried expression flooded Negan’s face when he saw you crying.  

“What is it?” Negan muttered, adjusting his positioning. It evident that he wanted to comfort you, but at the same time didn’t know what to do with Ethan in his arms like this.

“We fought so hard to get to this point in our life and I just…we…don’t want to lose you,” you explained with a whimper making let out an upset sound. The idea of losing Negan after everything the two of you had been through just broke you.  

“I don’t want to lose any of you either,” Negan stated firmly, his eyebrows furrowing while he stared out at you with his serious hazel eyes. “I love all of you so, so much.”

“I know you do,” you took a minute to answer knowing that the two of you had been through so much lately. It was a long journey of realization, but you knew that Negan loved you the best he could. Maybe you never had all of his heart, but you knew he loved you. Lifting up and leaning forward, you met his lips in a delicate kiss and heard Negan hum with the movement. “Am I wrong for not telling these people about all of the supplies at that farm that I found?”

“No,” Negan almost immediately answered with a dark expression, his voice rasp and low. His eyebrows arched and he shook his head slowly. “They have me working like a slave. If you gave them the location of the home and they got a hold of that supplies…they would plow through it. These people, they are fucking leaches. It’s our one chance at getting away from here. Tell them nothing. As of right now, we act like we don’t know shit.”

“I’m glad you feel that way about me not telling them,” you declared, swallowing down hard. Maybe it made you bad people not sharing this with Alexandria, but you didn’t care. They tried to take Negan away from your family and use the excuse that they were going to force you to be separated because you were the doctor. Fuck that. These people were awful and you were no longer going to bend over backwards for these people when they were out to destroy your family. “First thing in the morning when they leave, we will go too.”

“Absolutely,” Negan agreed with a firm nod, his eyes searching yours for a moment before letting out a wince. “I have got to piss like you can’t believe right now. He hasn’t let me go since I’ve been back, so I haven’t been able to go.”

“Go ahead. It will be okay,” you assured him and Negan attempted to slide out from underneath Ethan. When he went to make his move, Ethan’s arms clasped tightly to Negan and Ethan let out a whine. “Baby, daddy has got to use the restroom.”

“Ethan,” Negan uneasily laughed when Ethan’s arms hooked firmly around his shoulders and Negan reached up to caress over the side of Ethan’s young features. “I am only going to the bathroom right there. I will keep the door open. I promise you I’m not leaving you again tonight. My bladder is just going to rupture dude. You can’t hold onto me forever.”

“Yes, I can,” Ethan’s tired voice filled the air and Negan gave you a look that showed that he was upset with how desperate Ethan was to keep a hold of him. Ethan was still groggy because he had just woken up, but he wasn’t ready to let go of Negan yet. “Every time I trust this place, they go and take you away from me.”

“Ethan, the bathroom is in the bedroom. The bedroom door is shut. I’m just going to quickly run to the restroom. I’m old Ethan, I’ve got to go,” Negan reasoned with a crooked grin while managing to sit up in the bed and Ethan sat up as well finally releasing Negan for the first time since he had returned to Alexandria. Ethan’s hazel eyes were filled with fear and worry. Before Negan got up, he leaned forward to press the warmth of his palm against the side of Ethan’s face. “Your mom and I are looking to change things for us buddy. I promise, I am going to do everything I can so that we can finally be left alone. Okay?”

“Promise?” Ethan muttered and Negan nodded, stroking his rough thumb against his son’s cheek. “I don’t mean to act like a baby. I know that I’m supposed to be the older brother, I just…”

“You’re not being a baby,” Negan refused that answer and you reached out to squeeze delicately over Ethan’s shoulders trying to comfort your son. “You love me. I get it. You’ve gone through more than you should have at your age. You are doing the best you can Ethan and you are doing better than I could have at your age. Trust me this time though buddy, I just have to go to the bathroom.”

Not saying anything, Ethan simply nodded and Negan brushed his fingers through Ethan’s hair before getting up from the bed. Negan swiftly moved to the bathroom and flicked the light on, leaving the door partially opened like he promised.

“Baby,” you reached out for Ethan and saw his saddened expression meeting yours. “Everything is going to be okay.”

“We probably shouldn’t make comments like that,” Ethan explained with a sigh, looking over his shoulder again to look toward the restroom that Negan had disappeared in. “We never know if everything is going to be okay.”

“But we can try to believe that the world will be better for us,” you tried to suggest and Ethan shrugged his shoulders.

“I’ll kill them mom,” Ethan stated in a quiet whisper, his eyes slowly turning to meet yours when he said those words making your heart skip in your chest. “If they hurt dad, if they take him away from us for good, I’ll kill them.”

“Baby, don’t say that,” you hushed him, reaching out for his arm hating to hear your son talking like that. “We don’t hurt people unless we are in danger.”

“We hurt people if they are evil. We hurt people if they deserve it,” Ethan muttered in a rebuttal and Negan stopped at the door to the restroom when he caught what Ethan was saying to you. Negan’s expression was shocked hearing those words coming out of Ethan’s mouth. “If they kill dad for something he did before I was even born, I will kill every single one of them. For hurting dad. For hurting you. For hurting us…”

“Don’t talk like that,” Negan ordered from where he was standing by the restroom and Ethan looked back at Negan from where he was. The tone of Negan’s voice had scared Ethan when he jumped upon hearing his father. It was obvious that Ethan hadn’t thought Negan was there when he said that. “You’re not me. You’re better than me. Do you understand me?”

“But I mean it dad. I know how to use a gun. If they hurt you, I won’t let them get away with it,” Ethan swore, his face scrunching up with anger and Negan turned the light off in the bathroom before returning to the bed, sitting on the edge of it. “They can’t keep doing this to us.”

“Listen to me. You are never to touch a gun unless it is to protect yourself,” Negan insisted with a firm shake of his head, clearly upset with what he heard Ethan saying. “You’re a boy. You aren’t going to go around killing people for revenge. Revenge never solves anything.”

“That’s why they hate you, isn’t it? All over revenge?” Ethan poked further at the situation and Negan tilted his head to the side, his jaw flexing with tension. “It started with you getting revenge on them killing your people. Then they want revenge on you. That’s why they cut your throat and put you in that cell for so long. Don’t you think they’ve already punished us enough? We’ve all suffered.”

“Listen to me,” Negan reached out, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat while he cupped Ethan’s face in his hands. “No matter what happens to me Ethan, you have to promise me that you will not turn into a boy hellbent on revenge. I need you to take care of your mama and your siblings. I hate that you had to grow up so fast Ethan. You’re only eleven years old. Talking about killing someone for revenge shouldn’t even be something on your mind.”

“I also shouldn’t have to be scared every minute of my life that someone is going to kill my dad,” Ethan fought back and it made you frown hearing that. “I don’t care what happens to those people. They have hurt my family and if they take you away from me…”

“Ethan, stop…” Negan’s voice raised and it made Ethan’s eyes narrow out at Negan. “I need you to promise me that if something happens to me you won’t become what you are saying. If you become that person it is just going to be a never-ending cycle. You get revenge. You kill someone, then someone gets angry with you and they search you out. Then they kill you or they hurt someone in your family. It will never stop. This mess has to stop somewhere Ethan. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are my sweet little angel. Don’t fall into the same mistakes that I did Ethan.”

“I can’t lose you,” Ethan whimpered, his bottom lip trembling while Negan stroked his thumbs over Ethan’s face. Tears were swelling in Ethan’s eyes and you reached out to grab a hold of Ethan’s hand. “I love you so much and I’m so scared of never being able to see you again. We’ve barely had enough time together dad and…”

“Ethan. I need you to promise me,” Negan’s voice started getting rasp and you looked to see that Negan had tears developing over the corner of his eyes. Your heart broke over the seriousness of the moment taking place and Negan’s bottom lip began to tremble much like Ethan’s. “If you love me you will promise me you won’t become that person.”

“It’s because I love you!” Ethan shouted at Negan and Negan’s head tilted to the side, his face getting angry as Ethan started to cry while Negan continued to caress over Ethan’s face. “You don’t understand…”

“Yes, I do! I would destroy anyone who hurt anyone I loved,” Negan explained with a grunt and you didn’t know how to help this situation while the two of them spoke other than to hold your son’s hand in support. “But there is a difference between me and you Ethan. I’m not a good person. I never was. You are. If I die, I want you to make a life better for yourself. I don’t want you to fall down the same hole that I did for so many years Ethan. It will never make you happy. I want you to protect your family. I want you to grow old and have a family. I want you to live every day happy with whoever you decide to be with. I want you to remember me as the man that loved you with everything that he was. Revenge, it only brings pain. Trust me, it’s because of me getting revenge that I missed out on so much time with you and your brother. If I could go back in time and fix it all, I would, but I can’t. So if you love me…if you really love me Ethan you will promise me you will never go down that route. No matter how much pain you are in. No matter how hurt you are. You have to promise me.”

“I don’t know if I can,” Ethan cried and Negan lowered his head to press his forehead against Ethan’s. “I just love you so much.”

“Which is why you would do what I asked of you. Because you love me,” Negan begged of his son and Ethan sobbed before Negan. “Promise me.”

“Dad…” Ethan couldn’t find it in himself to promise Negan, but Negan’s teeth gritted together.

“Promise me,” Negan ordered once more and Ethan nodded.

“I promise,” Ethan broke down after saying what Negan wanted and Negan reached out pull Ethan in tightly to his chest.

Ethan was sobbing against Negan’s chest and Negan waved you on to wrap you up in his other arm. Hooking your arm around Ethan and Negan, you held onto both boys as tightly as you could. It was a very emotional moment and it wasn’t anything that you knew that any of you wanted to be thinking about, but it was clearly important for Negan to get that across.

Eventually Ethan had fallen back asleep on Negan’s chest after pretty much crying himself to sleep. Neither you nor Negan slept. Hell, how could you after that? Negan just kept his back propped up against the headboard with his left arm hooked around Ethan and his right hooked around you. Your head was resting against his shoulder and his head was cuddled up next to yours. A few hours later Logan had come into the bedroom to lay with the three of you.

By morning, it was hard getting up with both boys sleeping in the bed with the two of you. After explaining to Ethan why it was important for the two of you to leave, Ethan finally agreed to let Negan leave with you. The only reason he really agreed to it in the first place was because you were going. If Negan had been going alone, Ethan would have never allowed it. With you going, he trusted that you would protect Negan and keep him safe if need be.

“Are you sure you remember where this place is?” Negan looked back over his shoulder at Alexandria knowing that he felt miserable leaving Ethan at home. Several times before you tried to leave, Ethan had begged for a hug from Negan. Clutching to the backpack over his shoulder, Negan turned his head back to look at you and it was clear that he was nervous. “It was one time and a lot of shit was going on.”

“I remember where it is. I made sure to know,” you insisted knowing that when you had found it, you marked it down. You kept it hidden for so long before destroying the evidence so no one would be able to find the place. Negan had a rifle at his side while you had your handgun at your side. You left when Maggie and the group had taken off to go look for food. “I’m glad you agreed to this Negan.”

Negan said nothing, just nodded and you felt his left hand lower between the two of you to reach for your hand. Hooking his fingers with yours, you could tell that Negan was scared. Hell, so were you. The idea of change was a big thing.

You had taken the same route you had when you went to find Negan when he was missing after going to The Whisperers. When you got to the bus where you had found the three bodies, you had seen Negan stumble away from the scene. The sound of Negan whimpering was heard and you could see that he was clutching to the bus to try to talk himself down from getting sick.

“Baby,” you reached out to touch his shoulder and Negan held his hand up to have you wait for a moment.

“The last time I was here…Brandon was all fucked up. Thought that to be Negan he had to kill a mother and a fucking child. The boy was about the age of Ethan,” Negan explained with a whimper, his jaw clenching when he spoke and you moved in closer to touch him. “We saved them from a walker. I told Brandon to piss off because he was a little creep. I went to gather some wood to make dinner for them before taking them to Hilltop and Brandon killed them while I was gone. I fucking lost it and I killed Brandon with a stone.”

“Jesus, Negan,” you tried to comfort Negan feel his body shaking and you tried to urge him in another direction around the scene you remembered vividly from the past. Negan clutched to you as you led him around the area. “I’m so sorry.”

“So am I,” Negan answered knowing that he felt miserable about everything that had happened. There was a clear sadness over Negan’s features and you picked up on it immediately. “Is that really what people thought I was? Someone who would just kill a random woman and a child? Just because? I had rules. I had a code that I followed.”

“That was just a boy sick in the head who heard rumors that were never true,” you caressed over his abdomen hearing a shuddering breath falling from Negan’s lips. “I knew who you were. You weren’t the best of guys, but you didn’t kill kids and you weren’t big on killing women. It’s like that game of telephone they would have you play when you are a kid. Someone starts off with a saying and by the time it gets to the twenty-fifth person, the saying is completely different from the original. It was a story created by someone with minimal details. You didn’t cause that.”

“I don’t know,” Negan muttered, his eyes seeming distant and you knew you just wanted to get him to the place that you had found. Things were wearing heavy on Negan and you hated that he believed Brandon snapping was his fault. When you reached a certain area, you took a moment to think about the area that was somewhat different when you reached it. “Which way?”

“Just give me a minute,” you closed your eyes thinking back to the moment you had found the farmhouse. It took a minute to gather yourself before you opened your eyes and nodded in the direction. After walking for what felt like forever, you saw the large gated off area. “We just have to climb up this…”

“Pregnant?” Negan snapped seeing the glare you gave him and he shook his head. “Baby, there has to be a way in that isn’t climbing over this thing and potentially falling. You could kill our baby. Do you know how far along you actually are?”

“Before someone spots us, I highly suggest you just let me do this,” you demanded and Negan gave you an upset expression before you started climbing up without his permission. Negan stayed on the ground underneath you to make sure you didn’t fall. When you got near the top, Negan scaled the gate quickly and then hopped down to the other side before you so he could help you down. Once you were on the ground, Negan’s hands grasped your hips to keep you steady. “If you look, the walls are like Alexandria, except for this area. All we would have to do is grab some of the loose material this guy had stored…”

“Let’s just scope the place out before we decide what we are going to do with it,” Negan clutched to his rifle looking around the large plot of land. Things had overgrown a bit since you were last there. With the man not taking care of things, that would make sense. Moving through the fields, you watched Negan lower down to his knees to dig his fingers through the soil that was there. “This is good for planting.”

“There are some things growing,” you led him toward another part of the fields to show a part of the gardens where vegetables were growing along with tomatoes. Grunting, Negan reached for one of the tomatoes and laughed. “Your favorite.”

“Absolutely,” Negan took a bite of one of the tomatoes before tossing it up to you to catch. Taking a bite of it yourself, you took notice of how juicy it actually was. The unfortunate thing is that a lot of the vegetables had fallen and rotted off just because they hadn’t been taken care of in months. The fact things were still good meant the plants were still growing. The rain over the last few months likely helped. Following Negan through the fields, you led him toward barn where you found the man that had killed himself. The body was still there and when you pulled up the hidden hatch to show where all the supplies was hidden underground you heard Negan let out a surprised sound. “Jesus.”

Negan stumbled down the steps to the supplies that were there. Going through the canned foods to look at them, Negan let out an excited breath when he reached for a box to show that it was twinkies making you groan in disgust, “Negan, those have to be super fucking old.”

“As you said years ago, they never go fucking bad,” Negan was amazed with all of the things this guy had hidden. It was like small store of things that was hidden under the trap door. “This is…this is fucking incredible Y/N. This shit could last us years…”

“There is more in the house,” you instructed him making him follow you back up the steps. You covered the door with the hay that was there before grabbing him to lead him toward the large farmhouse. Instead of going straight to the hidden areas where the man kept supplies, Negan checked the whole home first. When he found it empty, Negan followed you toward the hidden door in the basement of the home. There was so much supplies for farming along with other foods and drinks there. “I told you. We could live here comfortably for so long.”

“I don’t understand. How was this place not found by other people?” Negan tried to reason it out in his head reaching for one of the sodas that were on the shelves. Curiosity got the best of him and he twisted off one of the caps to take a long swig of it. The face he made was questionable, but a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “It’s a little flat, but holy shit.”

“I think I had just found this place after the person who owned it killed themselves. I’m the only one who read the note and knew where the supplies was hidden. You saw that it wasn’t easy to find the hidden storage rooms. He made it that way on purpose. Made it clear that he killed anyone that tried to make their way in here,” you answered him and Negan moved toward her, his fingers still hooked tightly around the bottle of soda that he was drinking from. “We can make it work here Negan. Build the walls up as soon as we get here. Set up some traps to make sure that if someone tries to sneak in, we can take care of it.”

“Okay,” Negan agreed to it, his eyes surveying you over before biting into his bottom lip. Shrugging his shoulders, Negan looked around the area surrounding you and let out a hesitant laugh. “I’d be fucking stupid to let this go. Let’s go pick out the rooms. It will take some cleaning up, but I think we can do this.”

Negan reached for your hand to lead you from the hidden room, making sure to close it up just in case. Moving upstairs, you followed Negan through the hallways of the bigger house that obviously needed some work, but it wasn’t a bad base to start with. For each room, Negan would stare out at it from inside the hallway before pacing back down the hallway again.

“Okay, I’ve got it,” Negan grabbed a firm hold of your hand to lead you to the smallest room upstairs. “So this room can be the nursery. Here we will have our little girl or little boy. I can build a crib because we know I’m good with that kind of shit.”

Negan stood in the middle of the room, spinning on his heel as if trying to imagine where he wanted things to be, “We can make a rocking chair and put it in that corner. It’s okay giving the baby the smallest room because let’s be honest, this is the first time I’m going to be around for one of my children’s births. I’m never going to put that little one down and they are probably going to be in our bedroom a lot anyways.”

“I imagine,” you leaned back in the corner of the room listening to Negan ramble on about the room for a few more minutes, your hand sliding in over the swell of your abdomen thinking about the upcoming baby. When Negan urged you to follow him to the next room, you looked around and shrugged your shoulders. “Who is this room for?”

“This is the second biggest room and I’m thinking if she decides to come with us, this should be Lydia’s room,” Negan announced waving his hands out in the air. “She can have her own space here. Away from the boys so they don’t drive her crazy.”

“I think she’d like that,” you agreed listening to the rest of Negan’s plans as he led you from room to room, until you reached the biggest room at the end of the hallway and Negan wrapped his arms firmly around your waist from behind.

“This room would be ours…because…it’s fucking obvious,” Negan growled against the side of your neck making you chuckle at the chill it caused down your spine. “We’ll sleep in here together. I’ll do a massive washing of all the beds in here. Make sure everything is super clean so we’re all safe here. With time we can make it the perfect home. It will be ours.”

“And it will be perfect because we will all be together,” you whispered, closing your eyes and enjoying the warmth of Negan around you. Part of you was scared. This was all too good to be true. This was everything you had always dreamt of and more. With it right out there in your grasp, but you just hoped that nothing ruined it. This was the life that you had always dreamt about with Negan. It’s everything you and your kids wanted. So, hopefully this was all going to happen. “I love you Negan.”

“I love you too,” Negan assured you with a hum, his lips caressing tenderly over the side of your neck before he let out a long sigh. “I’m going to go check out the rest of the land to see what we have going on here. See how the well is with the water because that’s important. Then afterwards, I think maybe we need to stay here over night and leave first thing when the sun rises. It would be too dangerous walking back in the dark with you pregnant.”

“The kids…” you went to bicker with him and he hushed you, reaching up to cover your mouth softly with his fingers. Negan’s palm slid down in over your abdomen where the swell of your child growing was.

“I know Ethan is going to be upset, but I have to think about all of my children. Right now, I know that Ethan and Logan are safe in Alexandria,” Negan explained with a loud sigh, his palm caressing over your body in attempts to make you relax. “Going out in the middle of the night with you pregnant not only puts both of us at risk, but it puts our baby at risk too. Now if we left during the middle of the night and something happened to us, then Ethan would be very upset, right?”

“Well, yeah,” you frowned looking out the window to see that the sun was already setting. You forgot how far away this place had actually been. While looking around the place and planning out the house, it must have taken more time than you originally thought.

When Negan went outside to survey the area, you went through the house and took notes of what was already in the home. The home was mostly furnished and the man that had killed himself had really taken good care of it. While you felt bad for taking over this man’s home, you knew that it would be a good place for your family. It wasn’t like you were starting from nothing here. The rooms had things in them. There were beds. There was food. There was all the supplies that you could ever need. It just was going to take some work to make it more comfortable for your family.

When Negan returned, you could see that he was sweating and you gave him a surprised expression as he closed the front door behind him, “You would be surprised how much of this place he actually had a wall around. Other than the one area of the wall we climbed over; the walls are pretty fucking sturdy.”

“Why are sweaty?” you gave him a confused glance and he wiggled his finger at you to get you to follow him. Walking out, you saw that the area you climbed through was now covered by a piece of the metal wall that had been missing. There was a construction vehicle that was there and Negan offered a big smile. I grabbed some tools from the barn and there was still a lot of juice in the vehicle. This guy was like a fucking mastermind. He had the supplies prepared, he had everything.”

“Where did you find the key?” you watched Negan clear his throat uneasily before lifting up the chain that was around his neck to see that there were multiple keys on it. “Where was that?”

“Okay, it’s kind of gross, but the dude had it on him,” Negan explained, dropping the keys back down where they smacked up against his chest and you looked around at the walls. “What?”

“Where the hell do we get out now Negan?” you couldn’t find a place for you to get out from the walls that had you trapped here and Negan smiled brightly. “Clearly you found out more about this place than I did.”

“Well, that was the cool thing,” Negan wiggled his finger at you to have you follow him through the fields to a part in the walls where the wall was slightly pulled forward. Negan used his strength to move it to reveal a door behind it. Reaching for the keys that were around his chest, you took notice that there were two locks and Negan unhooked the locks. When he pushed the door forward, it pushed forward another piece of metal to reveal an exit from the walls. “I found his blueprints in the office in the barn. This place is like a fucking fortress. I’m thinking this was actually his home originally. It had to be. Like he was one of those people that were fucking scared the world was coming to an end long before it actually did. That’s why all this shit was here. I wouldn’t be surprised if we found a fucking bomb shelter somewhere here too. You hit the fucking jackpot.”

“Okay, so at what point am I going to wake up with Aaron pointing a gun at my head?” you slurred and Negan gave you a confused expression. Waving your hand in the air, you were just having a hard time believing this was all real. “It just seems too good to be true.”

“Well, there are some things wrong with the place. Some of the soil is a bit dry where the fields are for the corn and the wheat,” Negan explained, throwing his hands up in the air while he pointed in a certain direction. “There is one other thing that’s kind of not the best, but we will make do. There is a family of possums that live under the porch. I noticed that too…”

“Please don’t tell me that you are thinking of making them for dinner,” you groaned thinking about one of the meals Negan had made you eat when Alexandria was held up at that hospital. Negan’s laughter filled the air and he shook his head slowly. “Thank God.”

“I know this is extra work for us, but I think…I think we should bury this guy. Give him a proper funeral,” Negan explained looking around the area surrounding you. “It’s because of him we have this hidden hide away and I think we need to take advantage of it. Give him a proper thanks.”

You didn’t fight Negan. This was something he clearly wanted to do. Negan used one of the machines to dig the grave pretty easily and Negan wore some work gloves to drag the body into the area he dug. When Negan put him in the ground, he said a few words mainly thanking him for everything that he had left for the family.

“I had my eye on something pretty…pretty good for dinner,” Negan urged you to follow him back into the home and into the hidden room with all the foods that were in there. Negan grabbed two of the packages making you smirk when you saw it was instant noodles. “When Lucille was sick, I fucking lived on these noodles.”

You searched the kitchen for some bowls and Negan was able to put together two packs of these instant noodles for you for dinner. While you sat at the dinner table there, you listened to the slurping sounds that Negan was making while he was eating the noodles and it made you crack a smile.

“What?” Negan snorted with a mouthful of noodles and you shook your head with a smirk. “What is it?”

“I just love you,” you shook your head and reached out to place your hand over his. A big, goofy smile tugged at his lips and his right eyebrow arched up. “All of you. No matter how much I’ve wanted to hate you in the past, I never could. My heart belongs to you. All of you.”

Instead of saying anything, Negan got up from the seat that he was in and moved around the table. His rough hands cupped your face when he lowered down. Faintly, his lips dragged across yours making you let out a shuddering breath before he claimed your mouth in a kiss. Reaching up, you brushed your fingertips through his hair and cherished the warmth of him against you.

“I love you, so much,” Negan assured you with a warm smile before heading back to his side of the table to finish up his bowl of noodles. After dinner, the both of you were tired and decided you should sleep for your walk tomorrow. Negan blocked off the doors just in case before you went upstairs to the room that Negan claimed as yours. Negan had pulled together some clean pillows out of the closet and blankets. Negan took the time to change the bed and make sure everything was clean and safe before you laid down together in it. There was some silence between you before Negan cleared his throat. “Have you ever thought about our whole time together?”

“In general?” you muttered when Negan’s fingers hooked with yours while he held you in his arms. The light from the moon was shining into the room and it was surprising how much it actually lit up the room. “I think about our life together all the time.”

“Most of the time I think about what I should have done different to make it better,” Negan confessed with a sigh, depositing a delicate kiss over the side of your neck before cuddling himself in closer to you. “Just lately, I keep thinking about everything. The first moment I saw you.”

“You mean when I was on my knees in the dirt and I gave you a hard on after you bashed that guy’s head in?” you reminded him of the first time you met and Negan snorted when you said it like that. “Yeah, it was a love at first sight kind of thing.”

“Yeah, we were rocky at first, huh?” Negan frowned, biting at his bottom lip and your fingers hooked tightly with his. “I don’t know what I was fucking thinking back then. I saw you and I knew that I had to have you. I just wish I would have romanced you a little bit better.”

“I’m sure you never pictured being married to me with two kids and one of the way over a decade later,” you snickered realizing when the two of you started off interested in each other it really only seemed like a thing where Negan was interested in sleeping with you, but nothing really more.

“It’s better than I deserve,” Negan answered you with a bit of sadness in his tone and he sighed heavily. “Do you remember the first time that you were pregnant? Hell, you wanted sex non-stop. Like all the time.”

“Everything is a bit more sensitive while pregnant,” you informed him with an uneven breath feeling his kisses peppering over the side of your neck and your eyes closed tightly. “Can I ask you some things and have you be honest with me? Just over history. I won’t hold it against you.”

“Yes,” Negan didn’t even think twice about it and he shrugged his shoulders. You turned in his arms and he swallowed down hard. “If I can do the same at some points.”

“Okay,” you nodded thinking back on the past and you let out a hesitant breath. “When you first got with me, were you really sleeping with all of the wives?”

“I never slept with every single one of the wives. The one I mainly had sex with was Sherry. We hooked up before I even became the leader of The Saviors. We were part of this group and Dwight was the leader for a while. The two of us had spent some time together and she was the first person I had slept with after Lucille died,” Negan admitted, talking about his relationship with Sherry for the first time shocking you with his bluntness. “I really liked her. A lot.”

“That was obvious,” you rolled your eyes letting out a tight huff and Negan snorted with your reaction. “I’m just saying.”

“You didn’t listen to the rest of the story. By the time I became the leader, she became more obsessed with the idea of power. Of being able to control things. Around the time you showed up at The Sanctuary, her and I just weren’t the same. Once I was the leader, her attitude changed completely,” Negan’s hand settled in at your side and he shook his head. “We kind of hated each other by that point and we really only did things to piss each other off. Which didn’t include sex. I slept with Frankie once, but I really didn’t have sex with them as much as you would think. Frankie I actually had slept with before she became a wife. It was more of a status thing. People think you’re cool as fuck if you have multiple wives that you are fucking. Thing was, most of the time I was in bed alone. I was too fucking tired to be fucking like a monkey.”

“Bullshit, you’re supposed to be telling me the truth here,” you chuckled and Negan shrugged his shoulders and made a dramatic expression. “I don’t believe you weren’t sleeping with them.”

“That was always a big problem between the two of us. I seriously just told you that I fooled around with Frankie a bit and I slept with Sherry a lot at first. Yet you think I’m going to lie about the rest?” Negan confirmed, his eyebrows arching up and you let out a frustrated breath. “I know I told you I was screwing around with them to irritate you when we first got together, but I was just out to piss you off. I wanted to ruffle your feathers. When I tell you the only person I’ve been with since we’ve been together is Alpha. I mean it. And trust me, I would much rather have been with one of the other women.”

“You swear?” you repeated and Negan nodded slowly, his eyes looking down toward your stomach. “Okay. I believe you. Why were you so damn protective of Sherry for so long?”

“Because she was the first person that I had slept with after Lucille. I know it doesn’t make sense, but for a stupid fucking guy…it made sense for me back then,” Negan explained trying to figure it out in his head while his eyes surveyed you over. “But you…you were the first person I fell in love with after Lucille died. You looked at me and touched me unlike anyone else had ever done. You comforted me. You made me feel safe. I’ve never had that.”

“That was always your talent,” you grumbled, rolling your eyes when Negan’s palm slid further up your side and toward your neck. “You could piss me off and then have me swooning over you in less than a few seconds.”

“It’s a talent,” Negan snorted, his eyebrows arching when he spoke. “What about you? Did you ever fool around with someone else after you got with me?”

“Well, there was one thing I never told you about,” you explained seeing the way that Negan’s eyes got very serious when you said that. “I didn’t trust Simon at one point. I got him to think that I was potentially interested in him and he ended up pulling out his dick. When he did it, I put a knife to it and I threatened him.”

Immediately upon hearing that Negan burst out in laughter and you shrugged dramatically, “He almost got you killed by that guy at The Sanctuary that I killed to save you. I told him that I would kill him if he ever hurt you. That’s why you found me scrubbing the shit out of my body that day. We didn’t do anything, but he kissed my body and I was disgusted with myself. Then one of the times you left, I’m pretty sure if Dwight wasn’t around, Simon would have raped me.”

“I am so fucking glad I murdered that asshole,” Negan growled upon hearing that and you let out a dramatic breath.

“But no, you’re the only man I’ve ever been with,” you promised, reaching out to stroke over his chiseled jawline. “I kissed Daryl a few times, but it felt like I was making out with my brother. You’ve ruined me for all other men Negan.”

“Fucking good,” Negan grumbled and you playfully hit him in the chest making him chuckle when you did it. “You know, I wish we could redo this whole baby thing and have you tell me in a better way that you were pregnant. We’ve never had a good, hey I’m pregnant announcement. I’ve always found out in rather…bad ways. That’s why we should do it one more time after this.”

“Oh fuck that Negan. I love you, but if you give me another kid after this one I’m going to snip you myself,” you threatened making Negan immediately let out a dramatic, raspy laugh. “I’m serious. This is more than enough kids. This is a damn apocalypse. I know you want to repopulate, but enough is enough.”

“Yeah, but like…when you told me about Ethan, you were so fucking mad at me. You dominated the shit out of me and then told me you were pregnant with Ethan. You told me you were pregnant with Logan after you beat the fuck out of me for trying to kill myself,” Negan thought back on your history and you frowned hearing the negatives of your family. “Then with this one, you were so mad at me for what happened with Alpha…”

“What matters is what you have done to make up for those moments. You have a chance to finally be the kind of father you’ve always wanted to be. Instead of thinking about the negative, you need to think about what you want to do to continue to make these children’s lives what you want,” you corrected his negative thinking and Negan’s saddened eyes met yours. Cupping his face in your hands, you could see that there were tears visible in his eyes and you shook your head. “You did something right with the boys because they love the fuck out of you. Just do that again with this baby.”

“I really don’t deserve you,” Negan insisted with a shake of his head and instead of responding to that statement, you slid in closer to him. Meshing your lips against his, you took the time to kiss him. Repeatedly the two of you kissed and gradually the strength of the kisses got stronger. It became sloppier and more frantic after a while. Negan’s hand grasped at your jawline and he pulled away with a desperate breath. “You fucking take my breath away. You know that?”

You smirked and lifted up enough to kiss him again and his tongue brushed between your lips, a moan falling from his throat when you reached between the two of you push up the bottom of his shirt. Tugging the material up to the center of his chest, you lowered your kisses down his body and nipped at the sensitive flesh over his chest making him moan.

“Baby, are you really comfortable doing this in this home?” Negan licked at his lips when you used your free hand to press it between the two of you to caress over the front of his pants making his head drop back into the pillows.

“Well we have to christen it, right? Plus, better to do it now without a bunch of kids in the house,” you snickered against his lips when you lifted up to kiss him again. Nibbling at his bottom lip, you worked open his pants with your left and dipped your hand beneath the material to wrap your palm around his shaft to get him hard. “Don’t you think? We’ve pretty much locked the doors and made sure everything was safe.”

“I’m never going to turn down sex with you. Especially with you pregnant because that’s when it’s my favorite,” Negan whimpered, lifting his head up enough to watch your hand pumping over his length while you kissed at the side of his neck. Reaching with his hands, Negan arched his hips up and pushed the material down his body to reveal himself to the cool air surrounding the two of you. “You remember that time Gabriel was giving me a hard time about not being…”

“Small?” you snickered against Negan’s lips and he nodded slowly. “He was fucking with you Negan. I can’t believe you are still thinking about that.”

“So you don’t think it’s small?” Negan confirmed and you snickered, lowering your mouth back over the center of his chest to press a wet, desperate kisses over the center of his chest.

“Do you know what the average penis size is?” you lifted your head up from Negan’s body to look up into his bright hazel eyes that were reflecting in the blue colored light that filled the room. Negan shrugged his shoulders and you snickered. “Five inches. Little bit over is considered the average size. Are you bigger than five inches?”

“Well, obviously,” Negan snorted, looking down toward his solid length that was in your palm. You stared at him for a long moment and he grunted. “So you’re trying to say I’m not small.”

“You’re not small,” you repeated with a firm nod and Negan dropped his head back against the pillows. “In fact being with you the first time scared the hell out of me. You were this gorgeous, perfect man and here I was…a mess.”

“No, you were never a mess,” Negan denied you, reaching for your face to pull you back up to his lips so he could kiss you over and over again. “Being with you made me a better man. You fucking know that.”

Negan’s fingertips tugged at your shirt, pulling it over your head and he deposited the material at the side of the bed. Both of you were tugging at your clothes to get them off your body and Negan let out a surprised breath when you moved in over him facing away from him. A grunt fell from Negan’s throat when he lifted his back off the bed to wrap his arm around your waist from behind while you grabbed a hold of his length to lead it into your body. With his nose nuzzled against the side of your neck, you felt his moan vibrate against your flesh causing a chill to fill your body.

“Fuck,” he growled, nipping softly at the side of your neck while you took a moment to get adjusted to him inside of you. With a desperate breath, his hands slid from your swelled stomach toward your breasts to cup them in his large, warm palms. “You always feel so fucking good.”

Bracing your hands on his legs, you adjusted your positioning and used your strength to carefully rock your hips over his length. Negan was already extremely verbal with this positioning while you took your time to focus on the sensations that it was drawing out from within you. Negan’s palms were all over your body, trying to focus on where he wanted to put them.

“Jesus,” Negan hummed in your ear when your movements got a bit more enthusiastic over him. Nipping at your jawline, Negan grunted and let out a tense breath. “You always did love daddy’s big cock.”

An amused exhale fell from your lips while Negan did his typical dirty talk and it was better to hear that kind of thing than hear him doubting himself like he was before this started. The grasp Negan had on your body tightened while his left hand settled at your hip to help aid your movements over him. Negan’s right hand pressed between your thighs for his rough fingertips to connect with your clitoris making you whimper upon contact. Rolling your hips forward would bring the pressure of his fingertips over your sensitive bundle of nerves and when you would go back he would fill you.

“Negan,” you panted his name finding your body eager to reach that certain pleasure point you knew that you were close to. When you were pregnant, everything was always so much more enhanced with Negan and he knew that. Hell, you looked forward to it in the past. So he knew that it wouldn’t take much to have you losing yourself over him.

A groan fell deep from within Negan’s throat as he led your hips faster over him until you shuddered around him, taking a moment to pause your movements over him. Grasping tightly to his legs, you knew that your body was shaking over him and a proud rumble of laughter fell from his throat while he kissed between your shoulder blades.

“Turn toward me gorgeous. Nothing turns me on more than seeing your pregnant belly with my child growing inside of you,” Negan urged, his hands keeping a firm hold of you to help you turn toward him. A satisfied smirk expanded over his handsome features when he looked you over. Biting at his bottom lip, you could see that this lust filled eyes were surveying over your body and you reached out to grab a tight hold of his hair. “You’re are so fucking beautiful.”

“And you’re still so sexy,” you muttered with a whisper before Negan pulled you in over his hips with his strength. Gasping, you hooked your arm around his shoulders and watched Negan’s tongue drag in over his bottom lip. “I love you Negan.”

“I love you more,” Negan lifted up to attempt to meet you in a kiss and your eyebrows furrowed when he gave you a confused expression. “What?”

“That’s your thing with your son,” you reminded him and Negan rolled his eyes, curling his fingertips around the back of your neck. Bringing you to his lips, Negan meshed his lips to yours and kissed you repeatedly. “You should only say things you mean to me.”

“It should be our thing too because I know I love you so fucking much,” Negan slurred, nibbling at your bottom lip and he tipped his head back when you grabbed a firm hold of his jaw. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted and more. I am so fucking lucky to have you. A bum like me doesn’t deserve you.”

Instead of responding, your lips hammered in over his and Negan groaned against your mouth. Tugging you in closer to him, Negan reached between the two of you to lead his body back to your entrance. A whine fell from your throat when he filled you again and Negan was desperate to be close to you. To connect with you on a level where the two of you could focus on each other. Every caress, thrust and kiss was deliberate and full of emotion.

After taking your time enjoying each other, Negan’s muted moans pressed against the side of your neck while you clung to his hair. When Negan’s head fell forward to rest against your shoulder, you could feel your body weak, but thankful to be in his arms. Tender kisses were pressed over the side of your neck and you weren’t eager to move. Being in his arms like this and being able to share this moment just was something you wanted to remember forever. A moment where everything felt perfect.

“I don’t care what we’ve gone through, you and those boys are the best thing that have ever happened to me,” Negan finally spoke up, pulling his head from your shoulder to stare you in the eyes. “I know I sucked, but all the pain…all of it was worth it to be with you. To have this family. I love you so fucking much and that’s never going to change.”

“I love you too,” you assured him, stroking your fingers down the side of his face. The both of you got comfortable in the bed and Negan was eager to hold you in his arms. Falling asleep was easy this time. With the promise of a future, everything felt right. It was something that you desperately wanted to believe in.

By morning you and Negan cleaned things up around the house. Keeping things locked up, the both of you left at sunrise through the hidden door in the walls surrounding the farm. Negan was sure to put back everything in order so that way no one would be able to find a way through. The keys were hanging around his neck and underneath his shirt so no one else really had a way to get in.

On your way back to Alexandria, the both of you were quiet. Maybe it was because the both of you wanted this so fucking bad. To be able to have your family, a place to grow and no longer have to live in fear of those in Alexandria. This was something the both of you wanted so bad. You just knew that the both of you had to make it back to Alexandria by the time the others did so no one questioned where you and Negan were.

When you got home, Ethan was sleeping on the couch waiting for the two of you. As soon as the door opened and Negan walked through the door, Ethan hopped up from the couch groggily. Immediately, he ran to Negan’s arms and jumped into them, clearly happy to see that his father had returned home. For a while you just sat in the living room with Ethan so he could spend time with Negan.

Not long into the morning, Gabriel came to get Negan for work saying he needed his help. Since it was a job of sorting through food and handing it out to the rest of the people of Alexandria, you offered to help. Hell, it wasn’t hard work. A pregnant woman was capable of doing it. So, that’s what you did.

When Maggie returned with her crew and you saw the stares that Negan was getting, you knew that Negan would never be safe in this community. Things were getting bad again. Fights were starting. There was anger from Maggie’s crew toward Negan. Your family would be a prime target when everything fell to shit.

When you were having dinner with your family and they came to Negan to tell him that he would be leading a group through the city in DC you knew that with Maggie demanding it, nothing good would come from it. Multiple times Negan tried to rebuttal and make a case that he wasn’t needed. Yet, they were insistent. Maggie ordered it, therefor it had to be done.

When Gabriel left after telling you, you sat down on the couch with Negan and saw that he was lost deep in thought. Negan’s face was twisting with confusion on clearly what he should be doing, “If I go, she is going to kill me. I won’t come back.”

“Then we have to go now,” you swallowed down hard watching Negan’s eyebrow arching when he turned to look at you. “There is no other option Negan. I won’t let them take you away from me. Not now.”

“We’re not even prepared to leave yet,” Negan pointed out knowing they only had a few hours until they were meant to leave on the trip he was supposed to lead with Maggie. “The boys have no idea and…”

“Boys!” you called out hearing the doors being pulled open and you waved them down. Immediately, both boys moved down the stairs and Lydia moved into the living room hearing the desperation in your tone. “Ethan, Logan…I’m going to need you to pack whatever you need. Anything that is important. Your dad and I are going to be packing things. You only have a few hours.”

“I already have the bag still packed from when dad was missing,” Ethan explained, his hazel eyes narrowing out at you and you nodded. Quickly, Ethan moved back up the stairs to head for the room and Logan looked out at you with nervousness in his eyes.

“What’s going on?” Logan looked for an explanation trying to figure out what was happening.

“Your dad and I found a place for our family. A place where we don’t have to worry about the people here taking your father away from us. But if we are going to do this, we have to leave in the next few hours,” you answered your son with a loud swallow making Negan look to you with big eyes. “I know it’s scary, but…”

“Explain later,” Logan looked up toward the stairs to see that Ethan was looking down over them. “If it keeps dad safe, then I will do it.”

When the boys went upstairs and the rustling from their room was heard, Negan stood slowly from the couch and moved over toward Lydia. Nervously, he reached out his hands for her to put her hands in his, “I know this is a lot to ask of you. Asking you to leave everything so it’s ultimately your choice, but Lydia, you are our family. Everyone here cares about you. At the place we’re going, there is a room there for you, but if you don’t want to come with us, I understand.”

“I just…” Lydia stammered, her face turning pale as she looked around the home and swallowed down hard. “You don’t want to be stuck with me Negan. You have your own family to worry about.”

“You are our family Lydia,” you interrupted her thoughts and she looked out toward you. Stepping closer to them, you reached out to place your hand over her shoulder to squeeze over it firmly. “The choice is yours, but we have to leave tonight. It’s up to you Lydia. We don’t want to force you, but I know this family loves you. We love you.”

Hearing you say that made Lydia’s big eyes tear over and she looked between both you and Negan. When Negan nodded his head, she back stepped toward her room and pointed toward it, “I guess I better get a bag packed then.”

“Okay sweetheart,” Negan gave her a wink and reached for her to press a kiss over her forehead before turning back to you with a nervous expression. “What do we absolutely need? Because this is it. There is no coming back.”  

----

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[calzona-ga]

In her unauthorized book, Lynette Rice explores the stories behind some of the ABC drama's biggest moments, including — in this exclusive excerpt — the factors that led to McDreamy's shocking death.

In How to Save a Life: The Inside Story of Grey’s Anatomy, author Lynette Rice recounts the ABC medical drama’s eventful 16-year history, revealing new details behind some of the show’s biggest departures. Included in the unauthorized, 320-page oral history (St. Martin’s Press, Sept. 21, $29.99) is a chapter that offers new insight into leading man Patrick Dempsey’s shocking exit in season 11 of the Shonda Rhimes-created drama. In the chapter, Rice speaks with Dempsey’s co-stars and exec producers who were present during filming of his final days on Grey’s Anatomy, and reveals claims of “HR issues” that contributed to the death of his alter-ego, Derek “McDreamy” Shepherd.

“There were HR issues. It wasn’t sexual in any way. He sort of was terrorizing the set. Some cast members had all sorts of PTSD with him,” recalls exec producer James D. Parriott, who was brought back to the series to oversee Dempsey’s exit.

In more than 80 interviews with current and former cast- and crewmembers, Rice, an editor-at-large at Entertainment Weekly, also explores the show’s early days, recounts the thinking behind some of its more polarizing storylines and offers exclusive details about the show’s behind-the-scenes culture.

“After 17 seasons, fans still can’t get enough of Grey’s Anatomy,” Rice tells THR. But what went down behind the scenes was just as dramatic as what viewers saw every Thursday. I’m excited for fans to read what I learned about those early days, along with what it was like to work for Shonda Rhimes, and why the drama was so freakin’ headline-prone.”

Below, The Hollywood Reporter shares an excerpt — the full eighth chapter — from How to Save a Life, and tune in Friday to TV’s Top 5 for an interview with Rice about her book and the other big reveals she uncovered in her reporting for it.

(Reps for ABC, ABC Signature, Shondaland, and Dempsey declined comment on the reveals in Rice’s book.)

“He’s Very Dreamy, but He’s Not the Sun,” Or, How Grey’s Anatomy Loved — Then Learned to Live Without — Patrick Dempsey Ellen Pompeo may have played the titular role, but for many fans over many years, Patrick Dempsey was the real draw to Grey’s Anatomy. Some of it had to do with his celebrity: Dempsey was the most famous member of the original cast at the time of the pilot and brought with him quite a cult following from his 1987 movie Can’t Buy Me Love. But a lot of it was due to the way Rhimes wrote her McDreamy and how Dempsey depicted him. James D. Parriott I would say, “The guy would never say that,” and Shonda would say, “He’s McDreamy. He’s the perfect man. He would say that.” I’d say, “Okay. It’s your show.” Eric Buchman Shonda had a very clear idea of how important it was to keep Derek as this almost idealized love interest, not just for Meredith but for the audience. Naturally, the writers—especially writers who had been working on one-hour dramas for a while—were like, “Well, maybe have McDreamy make a big mistake in surgery and kill somebody. Or he develops an addiction of some kind. What is his deep, dark secret?” Shonda was very insistent: that’s not the character we do that with. Even when you find out he’s married, that was done in a very sympathetic way that kept him being a hero. He was wronged by his spouse and in spite of it all he was still gonna give his marriage a second chance. Stacy McKee Shonda was protective of McDreamy, but it was really with an eye toward being protective of Meredith. I don’t think the two were separate from one another. I don’t think she wanted to put something out there that maybe on the surface might seem a little frivolous. At its core, there was something really substantial that she wanted to say. She wanted to be very specific about the type of relationship values that she put out there. Tony Phelan I was in editing with Shonda once, and it was the scene where Meredith and Derek had broken up. He comes over and she’s like, “I can’t remember the last time we kissed.” And he says, “I remember. You were wearing this and you smelled of this …”

Joan Rater “Your shampoo smelled like flowers, you had that sweater on …” He described their last kiss. Tony Phelan Typically in editing you start on Derek, then you cut to Meredith for a reaction, and then you’ll go back to him. I noticed that we weren’t ever cutting back to Meredith. I asked why. Shonda said, “Because the woman in Iowa who’s watching this show wants to believe that Patrick is talking to her, and if you cut back to Meredith, it pushes them out of it.” In those special moments, we would just lock into Derek and let him do his thing. Joan Rater And he was a master at it. Patrick Dempsey He’s the ideal man, and that’s what Shonda constructed. There’s a projection [of him] onto me when you come in contact with fans, certainly with the younger and older fans. There is a certain amount of expectation. There is a responsibility to it. It made me grow, too. There were good qualities [of his] that you work on to obtain. Off camera, Dempsey was equally as charismatic to his fellow actors, crew members, and anyone who would come to visit the set. Lauren Stamile I was going in to meet him, and I remember I had this little cardigan sweater on and I took it off before I got into the room. Dempsey is one of those people—it’s almost like there’s a light shining around his body, and you feel like you’re the only person in the room. I got so hot and I remember saying, “Gosh, I would take off my sweater if I had one on because I’m so hot, but I took it off.” I was just babbling. He said, “You look nice,” and I said, “You look nicer.” I felt so awkward and he was so gracious and lovely. I was having a nervous breakdown. It’s like this “it” factor. I was like, God, whatever he has, I wish I had. I think it was very obvious how nervous I was, and he went out of his way to make sure he introduced me to everybody and made sure I felt comfortable, which he certainly didn’t have to do. But he did. Joan Rater He knew I had a giant crush on him, and he loved it. And when we’d go to table reads—I was an actress at one point in my life—they would always give me Meredith if Ellen wasn’t there. And I’d be getting my chicken tenders at craft services before the table read and he’d come up behind me and say, “Are you reading Meredith?” in my ear, like, so sexy. I’d be like, Oh my God. I mean, I could barely … I could not look at him. Tina Majorino I worked with Patrick a ton. I love him so much. We had a really great time working together. I think he’s such a great actor and he really made me laugh a lot. I feel like we had a good dynamic in scenes together, and it was always fun to play opposite him. Yes, he’s that charismatic in real life. Yes, his hair is that awesome. Yes, he is dreamy up close.

Chandra Wilson Patrick Dempsey will forever be known as Grey’s Anatomy’s McDreamy. Derek Shepherd is a permanent part of television history.

Norman Leavitt He is a big, personable guy.

Jeannine Renshaw We all love Patrick. Patrick is a sweetheart. If I saw him on the street, I’d give him a hug. I love the guy.

Mark Wilding I’ve always had a soft spot for Patrick. He really does try to do the right thing. Brooke Smith, who played Dr. Erica Hahn, remembers how Dempsey defended her when the decision was made to fire her from the show in 2008. Brooke Smith I remember calling him and saying, “Oh my God, they said they can’t write for me anymore, so I guess I’m leaving.” And he was like, “What are you talking about? You’re the only one they’re writing for.” Which at that time, it kind of did feel that way. But I guess someone didn’t like that. They gave me a statement [to release, about her departure] and I never said it. Patrick said that he actually took it out of his jacket on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and read the statement. He won’t let me forget it. He was like, “I defended you, see?” And it was true.

By season eleven, however, fans saw a disturbing break in MerDer’s once unbreakable bond. Six episodes had gone by without a peep from Derek, who was supposedly in Washington, D.C., where he had apparently made out with a research fellow. Fans began threatening to bolt if their hero didn’t return soon to Seattle. “I have never missed one episode,” wrote a fan on Dempsey’s Facebook page. “But I swear if [Rhimes] kills you off I’m done.” But there was a critical reason for Derek’s strange absence: behind the scenes, there was talk of Dempsey’s diva-like fits and tension between him and Pompeo. To help manage the explosive situation, executive producer James D. Parriott was brought back in to serve as a veritable Dempsey whisperer.

Patrick Dempsey [That] was the first year that I haven’t been in every episode. I [was] in every episode since the pilot— close to 250 episodes. That [was a] huge run. James D. Parriott Shonda needed an OG to come in as sort of a showrunner for fourteen episodes. There were HR issues. It wasn’t sexual in any way. He sort of was terrorizing the set. Some cast members had all sorts of PTSD with him. He had this hold on the set where he knew he could stop production and scare people. The network and studio came down and we had sessions with them. I think he was just done with the show. He didn’t like the inconvenience of coming in every day and working. He and Shonda were at each other’s throats.

Jeannine Renshaw There were times where Ellen was frustrated with Patrick and she would get angry that he wasn’t working as much. She was very big on having things be fair. She just didn’t like that Patrick would complain that “I’m here too late” or “I’ve been here too long” when she had twice as many scenes in the episode as he did. When I brought it up to Patrick, I would say, “Look around you. These people have been here since six thirty a.m.” He would go, “Oh, yeah.” He would get it. It’s just that actors tend to see things from their own perspective. He’s like a kid. He’s so high energy and would go, “What’s happening next?” He literally goes out of his skin, sitting and waiting. He wants to be out driving his race car or doing something fun. He’s the kid in class who wants to go to recess.

Patrick Dempsey It’s ten months, fifteen hours a day. You never know your schedule, so your kid asks you, “What are you doing on Monday?” And you go, “I don’t know,” because I don’t know my schedule. Doing that for eleven years is challenging. But you have to be grateful, because you’re well compensated, so you can’t really complain because you don’t really have a right. You don’t have control over your schedule. So, you have to just be flexible.

Longtime Crew Member Poor Patrick. I’m not defending his schtick. I like him, but he was the Lone Ranger. All of these actresses were getting all this power. All the rogue actresses would go running to Shonda and say, “Hey, Patrick’s doing this. Patrick’s late for work. He’s a nightmare.” He was just shut out in the cold. His behavior wasn’t the greatest, but he had nowhere to go. He was so miserable. He had no one to talk to. When Sandra left, I remember him telling me, “I should’ve left then, but I stayed on because they showed me all this money. They just were dumping money on me.”

Patrick Dempsey It [was] hard to say no to that kind of money. How do you say no to that? It’s remarkable to be a working actor, and then on top of that to be on a show that’s visible. And then on top of that to be on a phenomenal show that’s known around the world, and play a character who is beloved around the world. It’s very heady. It [was] a lot to process, and not wanting to let that go, because you never know whether you will work again and have success again.

Jeannine Renshaw A lot of the complaining … I think Shonda finally witnessed it herself, and that was the final straw. Shonda had to say to the network, “If he doesn’t go, I go.” Nobody wanted him to leave, because he was the show. Him and Ellen. Patrick is a sweetheart. It messes you up, this business.

James D. Parriott I vaguely recall something like that, but I can’t be sure. It would have happened right toward the end, because I know they were negotiating and negotiating, trying to figure out what to do. We had three different scenarios that we actually had to break because we didn’t know until I think about three days before he came back to set which one we were going to go with. We didn’t know if he was going to be able to negotiate his way out of it. We had a whole story line where we were going to keep him in Washington, D.C., so we could separate him from the rest of the show. He would not have to work with Ellen again. Then we had the one where he comes back, doesn’t die, and we figure out what Derek’s relationship with Meredith would be. Then there was the one we did. It was kind of crazy. We didn’t know if he was going to be able to negotiate his way out of it. It was ultimately decided that just bringing him back was going to be too hard on the other actors. The studio just said it was going to be more trouble than it was worth and decided to move on.

Stacy McKee I don’t think there was any way to exit him without him dying. He and Meredith were such an incredibly bonded couple at that point. It would be completely out of character if he left his kids. There was no exit that would honor that character other than if he were to die. Patrick Dempsey I don’t remember the date [I got the news]. It was not in the fall. Maybe February or March. It was just a natural progression. And the way everything was unfolding in a very organic way, it was like, “Okay! This is obviously the right time.” Things happened very quickly. We were like, “Oh, this is where it’s going to go.”

So that was that: McDreamy would die in episode twenty-one of season eleven, even though Dempsey was in year one of his recently signed two-year contract extension. Rhimes wrote a script that was befitting of her lead’s heroic persona: she began “How to Save a Life” by having Derek witness a car crash and helping the injured. Once it appeared everyone was out of harm’s way, Derek continues on his road trip but is suddenly broadsided by a truck.

Rob Hardy (Director) The paramedics leave. He’s there by himself. He’s having a moment. The nice music is playing, and all of a sudden, bang. It comes out of nowhere, which, you know, is how accidents happen. So as opposed to watching it as a viewer, we saw the accident happen through Derek’s perspective. Derek ends up at Dillard Medical Center, a hospital far from Grey Sloan and the talented doctors who work there. His eyes are open, but his brain is severely damaged. No one hears his plea for a CT scan; he can’t speak. To help keep the episode a secret, the scenes were shot in an abandoned hospital in Hawthorne, California, about twenty-two miles from the show’s home studio in Los Feliz.

Mimi Melgaard It was really hard on all of us because it was so secretive and we had so many different locations. We shot at this closed-down hospital that was absolutely creepy haunted. All the scenes there were so sad anyway, and in this yucky-feeling haunted hospital? It was really weird. His whole last episode was really tough. Patrick Dempsey It was like any other day. It was just another workday. There was still too much going on. You’re in the midst of it—you’re not really processing it. Rob Hardy Here’s a guy who’s immobile. Now you’re inside of his head. We were trying to make that feel scary from the perspective of a person who’s used to being in control, from a person who usually has the power of life and death in his own hands. But now he doesn’t have the ability to speak on his own behalf.

Samantha Sloyan When I went to audition, I didn’t recognize any of these doctors’ names. I assumed they were just dummy sides so people wouldn’t ruin the story line or anything like that. All we knew is that we were dealing with a man who’s been in a car accident. I had no idea that it was going to be Derek. I just figured I was going to be a guest doctor and that whoever this person was who was injured, was going to be just a character on the show. Once it became clear what we were working on, I was like, Oh, my gosh. I can’t believe this is the episode I’m on.

Mike McColl (Dr. Paul Castello) I signed an NDA before they would release the script to me. I was reading it in my house, and I was like, “Oh, my God.” I didn’t tell anyone, including my agents. I just said, “This is a really great booking. It’s a great role on Grey’s.” And they didn’t know anything until it aired.

Savannah Paige Rae (Winnie) The first scene I shot was actually the sentimental scene when I’m saying, “It’s a beautiful day to save lives, right?” I’m in the hospital room with Derek and talking to him. Even though I never watched the show, I recognized the value of the episode I was in and just really took it to heart. It was so special that I got to be a part of it.

Rob Hardy [Patrick] had a lot of emotions during the whole shoot, which evolved. I think when we first started, he was very calm and cool … the same Patrick that I remembered when I worked on the show a year or so before. With each passing day, he was a lot more emotional. A lot more was on his mind, and that would show itself in different ways. The finality of the episode and for his character was setting in. You’ve become a global icon on this show and then in five, four, three, two, a day … it’s over.

James D. Parriott Patrick was very cooperative and good.

Mike McColl When I met Patrick, he’s lying on a stretcher and we’re rushing him into the ER. I just introduced myself, shook his hand, and was like, “Man, I cannot tell you what an honor it is to be the guy to take you down.” He loved it. He could not have been nicer to me and was funny through the whole shoot. He was on the table in front of me there when I cut his chest open and all that stuff. He gave me a hug at the end. It was a real privilege to be a part of TV history in that way.

Samantha Sloyan I remember him being incredibly kind. They had his neck in a brace, and he’s strapped down to the board, so there wasn’t a ton of chatting. I remember him being really kind, but it was clearly intense for him.

Stacy McKee It was such a beautiful piece of storytelling. I knew this event was going to be a really sad, horrible event for Meredith, but I also knew it was going to be the beginning of such an incredible chapter for Meredith.

Dempsey completed his final hours of shooting on a rainy night. There was no goodbye party, no goodbye cake. Maybe that’s because some cast members were left out of the loop. James Pickens, Jr., told ABC News that the cast “didn’t know a whole lot. It was kind of on the fly. So whatever information we got, we pretty much got it kind of right before it happened.”

Caterina Scorsone (Dr. Amelia Shepherd) I didn’t get to say goodbye to Patrick when he left. I do think that helped, because I’ve been using the character of Derek in my internal landscape since Private Practice. Derek was the stability in Amelia’s life. He became a father figure after they watched robbers shoot their father. When he was suddenly gone from the show, we didn’t have that closure, so I got to play it out. She’s about to use drugs again before Owen confronts her in a way that she finally talks about her feelings about losing Derek. She doesn’t end up using.

James D. Parriott The day he left, that was my last day. There was a certain sadness to it, but I think he was relieved. I mean, I think it took a toll on him, too.

Rob Hardy I didn’t see other actors showing up and saying, “Hey, it’s the last day! Wanted to come and wish you well.” I didn’t get that. It was more the Patrick show. We were in the Patrick world, and then Ellen came, and there was definitely a lot of emotion that both of them had individually … not necessarily together. It was more so her being there on the day that he died. He had his own way of being with that, and the same thing with her. It was like two people who grew up together and … here we are. They had their own way of reflecting.

Patrick Dempsey I very quietly left. It was beautiful. It was raining, which was really touching. I got in my Panamera, got in rush-hour traffic, and two hours later I was home. Big news like this doesn’t stay quiet for long. Both Michael Ausiello—who left EW in 2010 to launch the news site TVLine—and Lesley Goldberg of The Hollywood Reporter learned two weeks prior to Dempsey’s final episode that he would be leaving the show. No reporter worth their salt wants to sit on a scoop—least of all one as huge as this—but Ausiello and Goldberg didn’t want to spoil the outcome for fans, so they agreed to hold the story until after the episode aired. I eventually found out, too, but in the nuttiest way imaginable: I was standing on the set of CSI: Cyber, watching Patricia Arquette talk about some droll techno-criminal. Unfortunately, the publicist also cc’d Dempsey’s manager and ABC publicist while trying to give me a major story, so I couldn’t immediately report the scoop. But I did use the information to successfully negotiate the one and only exit interview with Dempsey. Two weeks before his final episode, I met him and his publicist at Feed Body & Soul in Venice, California, for a story that would hit newsstands on April 24. He seemed a little shell-shocked and at one point choked up, but at the time he said nothing about how his on-set behavior may have contributed to his ouster. My editor, Henry Goldblatt, wanted to put him on the cover of Entertainment Weekly, but he couldn’t guarantee to ABC that no one would see it before the episode aired. Good thing we didn’t: some subscribers got the issue on the morning of Dempsey’s final episode— and one actually tweeted the story. Our PR department tried to get the tweets removed, but the cat was out of the bag: some fans found out early that McDreamy was about to be McHistory. Outlets like Variety reported how the story got out early, while our PR department released this statement: “We are surprised that an EW subscriber may have received their issue a day earlier than planned. We always try our best to bring readers exclusive news first. We would like to apologize to fans of the show that learned the news ahead of time.” Dempsey’s final episode was watched by 8.83 million viewers—the show’s largest audience since the premiere that season. Variety even pontificated whether the ratings boost was due to my exclusive with Dempsey.

Lesley Goldberg (The Hollywood Reporter) I’m used to working with networks to hold news as part of their efforts to guard against plot spoilers. But the way Patrick Dempsey’s exit was handled involved a layer of paranoia and secrecy that has been unlike anything I’ve seen in my reporting career. News that he was leaving, and his character being killed off, would have been a major story considering how big the show is domestically and internationally. However, it also would have meant spoiling the episode and, more important, damaging key relationships I’ve worked hard to build. At some point, publishing the news of Dempsey’s exit before the episode aired became an ethical question of what was more important—a big story and its subsequent traffic, which would have come no matter what, or the relationships and trust that it took years to craft. Ultimately, I still published early because EW subscribers received the issue with Lynette’s Dempsey interview before the episode aired.

Mike McColl The morning after Derek’s last episode aired, my daughter sent me a link that was on YouTube or Facebook or something. I actually pulled it up to look at it, and it was a Grey’s Anatomy showbiz cheat sheet. It asked the question “Who is the attending doctor who killed Derek ‘McDreamy’ Shepherd?” It included a photo that I posted from the set. I had on a bloody rubber glove and was in my scrubs and mask. I never obviously would have posted this before it aired. I posted it well after the episode aired, and I [captioned it] “McDeadly.” This writer said something like, “Kill McDeadly.” Maybe that’s why the producer didn’t choose a big-name actor to be the one who killed our beloved McDreamy! I want to be ultrasensitive to these hard-core fans because it means so much to them, and I certainly didn’t mean in that case to make light of it. It’s just, I’m an actor, and I recognize it for what it is. Is everybody clear on the fact that this is just pretend and Patrick knew he was going to be leaving the show? It was just like, “God. He’s okay. He really is okay.”

Peter Horton Derek was going to be there forever with Meredith because you went through a whole journey with them. That was incredibly fulfilling. So even if he’s not there, he’s there. I don’t think any of us really worried about that going away because by then you were so invested in it. The show can last as it has for years.

Patrick Dempsey Lots of people [miss him]. “It’s good to see you alive” is the comment I get. I’m like, “Yes, I’m very much alive in reruns.” People were really invested in that relationship. I knew it would be heavy. Very happy to have moved on with a different chapter in my life.

Samantha Sloyan The montage just killed me, when Meredith says, “It’s okay, you can go.” God, I’m getting choked up just thinking about it. The chemistry they have as a pair and the way they were able to build that and sustain it! So many of these relationships are, like, “Will they, won’t they,” and then it wears thin. They sustained it for the duration of their relationship on the show, and it’s just, I think, a testament to what those two created. It was just unbelievable.

Pompeo addressed Dempsey’s departure with a tweet that focused solely on his character, not on how she spent eleven years working side by side with him: “There are so many people out there who have suffered tremendous loss and tragedy. Husbands and wives of soldiers, victims of senseless violence, and parents who have lost children. People who get up every day and do what feels like is the impossible. So it is for these people and in the spirit of resilance [sic] I am honored and excited to tell the story of how Meredith goes on in the face of what feels like the impossible.” Meanwhile, fans futilely created a Change.org petition to reinstate McDempsey, while other, more desperate ones simply tweeted “We Hate You” to Rhimes.

Shonda Rhimes Derek Shepherd is and will always be an incredibly important character—for Meredith, for me, and for the fans. I absolutely never imagined saying goodbye to our McDreamy. Patrick Dempsey’s performance shaped Derek in a way that I know we both hope became a meaningful example— happy, sad, romantic, painful, and always true—of what young women should demand from modern love. His loss will be felt by all.

Talk about the mother (father?) of all postscripts: In November of 2020 Dempsey reprised his role as McDreamy in the season opener—but only in Meredith’s dreams. Stricken with COVID-19, an unconscious Meredith “imagined” reuniting with her husband on the beach. After talking exclusively to Deadline and saying how it was “really a very healing process, and really rewarding,” Dempsey would return for more beach-based episodes that would ultimately stand out as the best moments of season seventeen. “It was a second chance thing,” one ABC executive told me at the time. “Shonda likes a comeback. Also, they wanted him in their last season.”

[sagemoderocklee]

The Allied Nations Saga: Honor Bound Prologue: The Serpent Strikes Part Two of Four Word Count: 790 Chapters: 1/27 Characters/Ships: Ensemble Cast, Multi-Ship Summary:

After the events of the Fourth Shinobi war, the Five Great Nations and Lesser Nations can begin to rebuild. The alliances forged during the war should make them stronger, the bonds created during such strife should be unbreakable. But there is more to alliances and treaties than mere friendship, and when peace threatens so much of the status quo will the alliances hold? Will bonds of friendship and trust pass the test? Can the tides change and the cycles of violence be undone? And how will the banded-together nations fight against the foes they couldn't defeat at the end of the final battle?

And here we are at year’s end or year’s beginning, because I meant to post this just before midnight and instead it was like a minute after.

For those who know me and know this series, I am sure this sequel has been long-awaited. For those who don't, I promise you will understand nothing of this story if you don't read the first part, Alliance

I decided that, eleven + half years after starting Alliance and three years to the day when I finally posted the last chapter of Alliance, I would finally finally post the prologue of the sequel (which has been written for at least the last five years). The Naruto-Run to One-K ( @puregaalee and @gaalee-events) is honestly the only reason I decided to do this. So much of me still wants to go back over and re-edit Alliance, especially now after years of working on other fics and refining my view of the Naruto world even further. I'm hoping to do that before posting more of this, but in the spirit of this event--once again--I am just throwing caution to the Wind (get it, Wind. Wind Country) and posting. This fic is planned in full, the first three chapters are written, but there is a lot more work to be done, so hopefully in posting this I can motivate myself to really get back to working on this series.

Despite the many other novel length fics I have, Alliance is still my baby and I don't want to leave the Saga incomplete. I hope everyone who's awaited this sequel is excited to see it finally here! And I hope that whoever decides to read the 271k words that comprises Alliances finds it well worth the journey and will join me as I continue this series.

Happy new year, y’all!

[my-obsession-academia]

Title: Shed Skins and Unbreakable Bonds

Chapter: 1/17

Wordcount: 4,000 (/77,000)

Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou

Rating: T

Summary: At eleven, Bakugou is sure of one thing: he hates being a Slytherin. That is, until a curious and overly friendly little mer creeps into his life and leaves the door wide open for other people to come in.

Follow Bakugou through his seven years at Hogwarts as he learns about friendship, love, and the woes of growing up

My @krbkfantasybang in collaboration with @eemdraws

[ao3feed-bakusquad]

Shed Skins and Unbreakable Bonds

Shed Skins and Unbreakable Bonds by Milligramme

Katsuki shouldn't be here. The Slytherin common room is dark, damp and ugly, and full of manipulative idiots who think they're better than everyone just because of their birth. They brag about their families and their connections, pretend to like each other and whisper nasty rumors about their “friends” as soon as they can't hear… Katsuki hates this. He hates it! How could that stupid hat believe he belongs with these assholes? It's been a month since the school year started, and Katsuki has never been more sure: he shouldn't be in this stupid house.

At eleven, Bakugou is sure of one thing: he hates being a Slytherin. That is, until a curious and overly friendly little mer creeps into his life and leaves the door wide open for other people to come in. Follow Bakugou through his seven years at Hogwarts as he learns about friendship, love, and the woes of growing up.

Words: 4178, Chapters: 1/17, Language: English

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Kirishima Eijirou, Kaminari Denki, Midoriya Izuku, Yaoyorozu Momo, Todoroki Shouto, Bakugou Katsuki's Parents

Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou, Bakugou Katsuki & Kirishima Eijirou

Additional Tags: Merman Kirishima Eijirou, Wizard Bakugou Katsuki, Slytherin Bakugou Katsuki, Trans Bakugou Katsuki, Trans Yaoyorozu Momo, Friends to Lovers, Developing Friendships, Hogwarts Inter-House Friendships, Interspecies Relationship(s), Growing Up Together, Magical Hormone Therapy, Water-related trauma, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Bakugou Katsuki is Bad at Feelings, Some angst, Mostly the Anguish of Growing Up, Fluff, Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Slow Burn, Sign Language, More to come but nothing big or bad I just want to avoid spoilers

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30301761

[lailannajacobs]

Counterfeit Criminals: Masterlist

A Handmade Thieves Story

Status: Complete! 

Pairing: Loki x fem!Reader

Warnings: Some angst and some fluff and a pinch of violence 

Summary: Almost a year after escaping Asgard and your role as human ambassador, you find yourself once again face to face with the God of Mischief. With everything left unfinished between the two of you, it’s a wonder you don’t kill each other within the first few seconds. 

Chapters: Words (28k)

Prologue: A Criminal Act and an Unforgettable Criminal 

Part One: A Surprise Visit and a Familiar Deal 

Part Two: A Magnetic Pull and a Reflexive Push

Part Three: A Single Bed and a Separated Heart

Part Four: A Poor Attempt and a Successful Hit

Part Five: A Prince’s Perspective and a Midgardian’s Perplexity  

Part Six: A Change in Tone and an Unyielding Heart 

Part Seven: An Unexpected Fight and a Fated Death

Part Eight: A Complicated Truth and a Simple Lie 

Part Nine: An Accurate Find and a Mistaken Identity

Part Ten: A Past Mistake and a Future Consequence  

Part Eleven: A Truthful Devil and a Lying Demon 

Part Twelve: A Shattered Promise and an Unbreakable Bond

Part 13: A Broken Ship and a Healed Heart 

Epilogue: A little Wicked and a lot of Kindness 

A/N: I’d been toying around with the idea of continuing Handmade Thieves with another series or writing a oneshot to tie up loose ends...I settled on a small series. The chapters will be shorter than Handmade Thieves but there will be about 10 I think. 

Previously on... ( Handmade Thieves) 

[ao3feed-byeler]

Unbreakable Connection

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2IOE9c5

by Tea_For_One_Please

At midnight on everyone's sixteenth birthday, they receive a connection of some kind with their soulmate. Some are connected by strings. Some have contact marks, a shadow of the first time their soulmate touches them. For some, the first words their soulmate says to them appears on their skin. Some find objects that their soulmate has misplaced.

On the night of Will Byers' sixteenth birthday, he hears a little voice in his head. But whom does the voice belong to? Will he ever get to meet the mysterious "Gabriel"?

Inspired a post I can't find (sorry!) by serendipitous-magic (https://ift.tt/2pdPOuf)

Words: 4250, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Stranger Things (TV 2016)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Will Byers, Mike Wheeler, Joyce Byers, Jonathan Byers, Eleven | Jane Hopper, Lucas Sinclair, Dustin Henderson, Maxine "Max" Mayfield

Relationships: Will Byers/Mike Wheeler, Minor or Background Relationship(s)

Additional Tags: AU, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Soul Bond, Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Romantic Soulmates, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, background lumax, background jancy, background Jopper, Background Relationships, Codenames, Will's POV, Gay Will Byers, Bisexual Mike Wheeler, Coming Out

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2IOE9c5

[splendidlyimperfect]

It's been thirteen years since Natsu and Gray met in a program for troubled youth - since they both fell apart and helped put each other back together. Now they're married and happy, loving each other and the shared family they found.

But the past doesn't always stay past, and when the things that broke them come back into their lives, Natsu and Gray have difficult decisions to make - ones that could change their lives forever.

Chapter Summary:  As they continue their road trip, Natsu tries to work through the mess of feelings he has about his father. Chapters (2/?): 1 | 2

Rating: Mature Relationships: Natsu/Gray, Rogue/Sting, Laxus/Freed Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Aged-Up Character(s), Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Married Couple, Established Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Past Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Drug Addiction, Mental Health Issues, Foster Care, Family Issues, Tumblr: FTLGBTales, Grief/Mourning, Childhood Trauma, it's not as sad as it sounds, but they're so in love with each other, Bipolar Disorder, Adoption, Families of Choice, Nonbinary Character, Trans Character, Genderfluid Character, Forgiveness, well sometimes it is, lots of bonding moments, Natsu is a fantastic uncle and amazing with kids Series: Part 14 of the only hope for me is you, Part 3 of if you jump i'll break your fall

When Gray woke up the next morning, Natsu wasn’t there.

Gray pushed himself up on his elbows, yawning and rubbing his face before looking around the tiny hotel room. The curtains were still drawn, but a thin ray of sunlight had made its way through and illuminated a line along the floor.  

“Natsu?” Gray called, sitting up and shoving away the blankets. He frowned and glanced at the clock – 7:46 a.m. Natsu never willingly got up this early. Gray looked over to the front door and felt a spike of panic when he saw that Natsu’s shoes and jacket were gone.

Gray stood up, grabbing his phone from the bedside table and swiping it open, but the only messages were a text from Sylvie, and a handful of e-mails from work. He tossed the phone back down on the bed and quickly checked the bathroom.

A cold, uncomfortable feeling crept through his stomach, and Gray forced himself to breathe. Even after nearly fourteen years, the memory of finding Natsu bleeding to death was the first thing that popped into Gray’s head when Natsu wasn’t well. Gray quickly rummaged through the toiletries bag in the bathroom for Natsu’s pill container, and was relieved to see that he hadn’t missed any of his meds.

Gray sighed, rubbing his face and sitting down on the end of the bed. He was about to call Natsu when the door to the hotel room creaked open.

Natsu stood in the doorway, balancing two cups of coffee in one hand. When he saw Gray, his face broke into a smile, and he set down the coffee on the table.

Continue reading on AO3

“What’re you doing up so early?” Gray asked, standing up and pulling Natsu into a hug. Natsu hummed happily, wrapping his arms around Gray’s waist. “You okay?”

“Mhmm.” Natsu let Gray hold him tightly for a minute, then pulled back and gave Gray a quick kiss. “I’ll have you know that my ridiculous husband doesn’t think that 7:45 am is early.”

“I see.” Gray relaxed a little, brushing Natsu’s hair out of his eyes and looking out the door. The sun was already up, burning away the wisps of fog that drifted down from the mountains and casting a pale, yellow light over the parking lot.

“What’s up, Snowflake?” Natsu asked, slipping his hands under Gray’s shirt and rubbing his thumbs over Gray’s hips.

“Just wanna make sure you’re okay,” Gray said. Natsu smiled, shaking his head and pulling Gray in close while he kicked the door shut. He trailed his fingers up Gray’s back, leaning in and kissing him again.

“I’m fine,” he reassured Gray, nudging him backward against the bed until Gray’s knees hit the edge and he sat down. “Sorry for worrying you.” He pushed Gray further back onto the bed, moving up until he was sitting between Gray’s legs and leaning over him.

Gray hesitated, searching Natsu’s face for some kind of sign that he wasn’t as okay as he was putting on. His eyes were a little brighter than usual, and there was a hint of sadness behind his smile. Gray ran his thumb over Natsu’s cheek, then pulled him down for a kiss.

“You don’t have to be okay,” he murmured against Natsu’s lips. Natsu froze for a second, arms tense on either side of Gray’s head, then laughed and pressed their foreheads together.

“I know,” he said, rubbing his nose against Gray’s. “And I wasn’t yesterday – it was a lot. I’m better today, though. Promise.”

Gray knew that Nastu wasn’t telling the whole truth, but he trusted Natsu to know what he needed. He let himself relax into the mattress as Natsu kissed him harder, biting Gray’s lip gently, and then running his tongue along it. Natsu tasted like strawberry lipgloss and coffee, familiar and safe.

“Touch me,” Natsu whispered, grabbing Gray’s hand and guiding it up to his waist. Gray slipped his fingers under Natsu’s jeans to feel the lace of his underwear and he groaned, pressing his hips up and grinding against Natsu.

Natsu let out a soft sound of surprise as Gray grabbed him and flipped them over until he was straddling Natsu’s hips. He tugged the elastic out of Natsu’s hair, wrapping it around his wrist, then combed his fingers through Natsu’s hair until it spread out around his head like a pink halo.

“Can I call you pretty today?” Gray asked, rocking forward and enjoying the soft sounds that slipped from Natsu’s lips. Natsu nodded, gripping Gray’s thighs and looking up at him with wide eyes. Gray leaned down, running his hands up Natsu’s arms until he had him by the wrists, pinned to the bed.

“Hnn, w-wanna—”

“Shush,” Gray said, kissing Natsu again, hot and needy. “You’re gorgeous and I wanna touch you everywhere.”

Natsu sighed happily when Gray’s lips moved to his neck, running over the sensitive scar and then moving over to the other side.

“W-we don’t have to check out until eleven,” Natsu groaned, rocking up against Gray. Gray moved down to bite Natsu’s nipple through his shirt and Natsu gasped, tugging at Gray’s grip on his wrists.

“Good,” Gray said, running his thumbs over Natsu’s palms and looking up at him through a dark curtain of hair. “Then I’m gonna take my time with you.”

~*~*~

The rest of the trip took almost four days. Gray drove most of the way, leaving Natsu to make up music playlists and watch the scenery change from mountains to prairies to forests as they made their way east.

Natsu hadn’t been lying when he’d told Gray he was okay, but the run-in with Wendy still lingered in the back of his mind. Every once in a while, a flash of guilt or sudden anger washed over him, but the farther away they got, the better Natsu felt.

Then, on their last day on the road, Natsu got a text from Wendy. Hey, if you decide you want to try to find your dad, this is the place I used. Good luck.

Underneath there was a company name – Reunion and Reconnection – as well as a phone number and an e-mail address.

Natsu’s stomach clenched as all the anxiety that had been fading from him returned full force, crawling up his arms and making him feel dizzy. He stared at the message, thumb hovering hesitantly over the link.

“Hey, are you sure you’re—”

Gray’s voice caught him off guard, and Natsu jumped, dropping his phone into the footwell of the car.  

“Snowflake, if you ask me if I’m okay one more time, I’m gonna make you listen to One Direction for the rest of this trip.”

Natsu kept his voice light, laughing at the disgruntled look on Gray’s face before picking up the phone and shoving it into his jacket pocket. Gray reached over, taking Natsu’s hand and squeezing gently before looking back the road.

“I’m not going to change my mind,” Natsu insisted, trying to ignore the uneasy feeling in his stomach. “Just ‘cause Wendy found her mom doesn’t mean I should look for him. He left, and I don’t need him.” He tried not to let his bitterness show, and forced a smile for Gray. “I’ve got you.”

Gray nodded and slipped his fingers between Natsu’s before looking back at the road. Natsu leaned his head against the window, staring out past the trees while he attempted to sort through the tangle of feelings in his head.

They reached grand-maman and grand-papa’s house by early evening. Natsu could see everyone else’s cars parked along the road, and an uneasy feeling washed over him as they approached the front door.

“Hey,” he said, grabbing Gray’s hand and pulling him close. “Can we not say anything about Wendy?” Gray raised an eyebrow and Natsu sighed. “I don’t wanna talk about it. Please?”

Natsu adored Gray’s family and how quickly they’d taken him in, but big gatherings like this sometimes reopened the wound of Natsu’s own absent parents. Usually it was a dull ache that he was able to ignore, but right now it was a sharp, burning sting that made him want to run.

“Of course,” Gray said, giving Natsu a quick kiss before reaching for the door. “You ready?”

The next few minutes were a whirlwind of hugs, kisses and pinched cheeks. Ultear had arranged the party for grand-papa’s ninety-fifth birthday, and the house was packed with people that Natsu didn’t know. He managed to make it through the crowd to see grand-papa, who was settled on the couch next to Félix and wearing a birthday hat.

“Quel beau chapeau!” Natsu said, crouching down beside the couch and taking grand-papa’s hand. “Bonne fête! T’es un vieil homme, huh?”

“Watch who you’re calling old,” grand-papa replied in French, smiling and kissing Natsu on the cheek. Grand-papa’s skin felt like tissue paper under Natsu’s fingers, and for some reason it made Natsu feel like crying.

“I think you’re probably the oldest one here,” Natsu teased, forcing himself to smile. “Pretty soon you’ll be a hundred.”

Grand-papa laughed, patting Natsu’s arm.

“Ça va?” Natsu asked, turning to Félix. “You happy to be done grade eight?”

Natsu managed to make it nearly an hour into the party before the itch under his skin was too much. He found his way to the balcony door and slipped outside, closing it behind him and turning to see Sylvie leaning on the railing, looking out over the city.

“Your mom had better not see you drinking that,” Natsu teased, leaning onto the railing next to Sylvie and gesturing to the cooler in her hand. “You’re not eighteen yet.”

Sylvie rolled her eyes. “Like you didn’t drink before you were eighteen,” she said, nudging his arm.

“Fair point,” Natsu said. He stared out across the river, watching the street lamps flicker on as the sun fell behind the horizon. The sound of the party behind them was muffled through the screen door, but Natsu could hear Renaud trying to explain his newest video game to grand-maman.

“You okay?” Sylvie asked. Natsu turned to look at her – she'd changed her hair since the last time he’d seen her, and now it was a wild, messy pink-and-purple mohawk. “Uncle Natsu? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he said automatically, playing with his wedding band. Sylvie kicked his ankle and he frowned at her.

“Liar,” she said. “You’re being weird.”

“Your face is weird,” Natsu said, sticking out his tongue at her, and Sylvie snorted. Natsu shrugged. “Nah, I’ve just been thinking a lot.”

“Don’t hurt yourself,” Sylvie said, and Natsu laughed, turning around and leaning against the railing.

“No picking on me,” he said, “Uncle Gray does that enough already.” Sylvie snorted, taking another sip of her drink. With her pierced eyebrow and black nail polish and wild hair, she reminded Natsu of himself so much that it hurt.

“I ran into my sister the other day,” he said. Sylvie looked at him, confused. “Foster sister,” Natsu clarified. “We spent a few years together in a home, I hadn’t seen her since… well, before you were born. It was a bit weird.”

Natsu dropped his gaze to the scuffed toes of his shoes, but he could feel Sylvie studying him. He felt raw and electric, like he was kindling and the slightest spark would burn him alive.

“It must have sucked,” Sylvie said after a minute. Natsu looked up at her with a raised eyebrow. “Growing up without your parents? I dunno, mom’s always on my case and dad’s so fucking embarrassing like, all the time, but...” She trailed off, tipping the cooler between her hands.

“Yeah,” Natsu said. “It sucked.”

“Are your parents dead?” Sylvie asked. “You never talk about them.”

Natsu laughed, tipping his head back and looking up at the sky. Sometimes Sylvie’s bluntness was refreshing. “My mom’s dead, I think,” he said. “Dunno about my dad, though. He might still be around.”

Sylvie was quiet for a minute, then asked, “are you thinking about finding him?”

Natsu looked over at Sylvie again in surprise. She was giving him the same stubborn look she always gave him when she asked him hard questions. The two of them had been close ever since she’d climbed onto his lap at three years old and asked him to read to her. Natsu always tried to be honest with her – especially now that she was older – but he didn’t often talk about his family.

“Sorta,” he admitted after a while. “Maybe. I dunno.”

“Why didn’t you want to find him before?”

Natsu laughed, rubbing his face. “You’re not pulling any punches, huh?”

Sylvie shrugged. “Small talk’s boring.”

Natsu couldn’t argue with that. He ran his hands through his hair, tying it back in a ponytail while he figured out what to say.

“I never looked for him because he left me when I was really little,” Natsu said eventually. “And he made that choice, and it really hurt. I’m not sure I want to meet him. I dunno if I wanna find out why he didn’t stay.”

“He sounds like an asshole,” Sylvie said, nudging Natsu until she was tucked under his arm. He laughed, kissing the top of her head.

“You’d better not talk like that around your mom,” he said, “or I’m gonna get in trouble for being a bad influence again.”

Sylvie hummed in agreement, finishing off her drink and leaning back against Natsu. It suddenly hit Natsu that Sylvie was the same age now as he’d been when he’d met Gray – when he’d tried to kill himself. An ache pressed heavily on his chest and he hugged her tighter.

“Well,” Sylvie said, “if you do find him and he’s a dick, you’ve still got us.” She reached out to touch the leather bracelet around Natsu’s wrist that she’d made for him at an art camp years ago. “You’re my family.”

“I know,” Natsu said softly. “Thank you.”

Sylvie rested her head on Natsu’s shoulder and they stood for long time under the stars, watching the moon move across the sky.

~*~*~

They didn’t get back to the hotel until nearly two in the morning, and Gray immediately flopped face-first onto the bed, grumbling when Natsu tugged off his jeans and nudged him under the covers. Natsu settled in next to him, sitting against the headboard and running his fingers through Gray’s hair.

Everything was a mess. Natsu’s heart felt tangled, pulled in different directions, and none of it made any sense. He had everything he needed – a job, a husband who was patient with him, friends, and too many nieces and nephews to count. He already had a family.

But a memory kept playing in his mind, over and over, and Natsu couldn’t make it go away.

“I’m sorry.” Natsu’s dad – Neelan – sat on the swing set next to him at the park, kicking up sand and staring at the holes in his shoes. Natsu frowned.

“Why?” he asked. The park was mostly empty - it was still early March and there was a fine layer of snow on the playground equipment.

“I’m not gonna be here for your birthday,” Neelan said sadly. Natsu didn’t say anything, just frowned and kicked his legs to make the swing move faster.

“You promised,” he said, disappointment souring the sticky sweet taste of ice cream on his tongue. “You said we’d go to a movie.”

“I know, bud,” Neelan said. He picked at his thumbnail and looked up at the sky.

“Where are you going?” Natsu asked. He pulled his hands into his too-big coat and wrapped the sleeves around the chains of the swing to keep his fingers from freezing.

Neelan didn’t say anything, just stood up and waved to the social worker, who was making her way around the outskirt of the park. Natsu scowled at her.

“I don’t wanna go back,” he said, jumping off the swing and throwing himself at his dad. He wrapped his arms around Neelan’s waist and shook his head. “I wanna come home with you, Dad. Please.”

Neelan sighed, disentangling himself from Natsu’s grip and crouching down in front of him. Natsu wiped at his face angrily and tried to pull away. The kids at school all made fun of him for crying too much, but he couldn’t stop.

“You’re strong,” Neelan said, brushing Natsu’s messy hair out of his eyes. “And you’re gonna be a good person, okay? Better than me.”

“Please, Daddy,” Natsu whispered. He knew he was too old to be calling his father that, but right now he felt little and small and scared. “You promised.”  

“I’m so sorry, Natsu,” Neelan said, pressing a kiss to Natsu’s forehead. “I just… I can’t do this. I hope one day you'll understand.”

The disappointment and confusion in Natsu’s chest turned to anger and he growled, shoving his dad away from him.

“You’re stupid!” he shouted, kicking at the sand. “You promised and you’re stupid and I hate you!”

That had been the last time Natsu had seen his dad. He’d run away and been found an hour later by the social worker at the steps of his old house, and when she’d taken him back to the home, Natsu hadn’t argued. The next time his dad was scheduled to visit, he didn't show up, and Natsu had tried his best to pretend it didn’t hurt.

Natsu sighed, looking down at his phone and opening up his texts. The message from Wendy was still there, waiting for him.

He looked at Gray, who had rolled over and was now sprawled on his back in the middle of the bed. The moon glinted off his ring, and Natsu thought of his wedding vows.

“I never had a family before you. I never had a home. Now you are my family. You are my home. It doesn’t matter where we are - when I’m with you, I’m where I belong.”

Natsu swallowed down the lump that had appeared in his throat, then looked back at his phone. He sighed, closing the text and tossing his phone onto the bedside table. Then he settled down next to Gray, who mumbled something in his sleep and turned to wrap himself around Natsu. Natsu closed his eyes, curling up tightly in the circle of Gray’s arms and letting himself fall asleep.

[dramioneficindex]

Title: Once Upon a Dream Author: UnseenLibrarian/unseen1969 Rating: MA/NC-17 Genre(s): Humor, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 7,000 Summary: Hermione is exhausted and desperate for a good night’s sleep. A slightly tipsy Draco Malfoy and a long line at the apothecary are only the start of her evening’s adventures.  Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Fest/Exchange: dramione_duet Published: November 14, 2014  Themes: Alcohol/Drinking, Dancing, Potions  Draco: Flirtatious, Redeemed  Locations: Flourish and Blotts, The Leaky Cauldron  Friendships: Draco & Blaise, Draco & Goyle, Draco & Theo, Hermione & Ginny, Hermione & Luna  Characters: Blaise Zabini, Ginny Weasley, Gregory Goyle, Luna Lovegood, Theodore Nott  Warnings: References to alcohol and intoxication. Some profanity. And, of course, lemony smut!

Title: Once Upon a Nightmare  Author: Sapphire1031  Rating: M Genre(s): Romance, Angst Chapters: 19 Word Count: 94,923 Summary: Its Hermione Granger’s 7th year. Voldermort is dead, she is Head Girl, and she is about to start a real relationship with Ron. Everything is perfect, or so she thinks. When everything goes wrong and the unthinkable happens, who will help her survive. Status: Complete Timeline: Year 7, AU Published: May 21, 2010 Completed: May 28, 2012 Relationship: Engaged/Married (at some point) Themes: Abuse/Assault/Hurt Emotionally [Hermione is raped], Apologies [Draco & Hermione], Baths/Showers, Cruciatus Curse [Hermione is tortured], Events/Celebration [Ball], Hermione sits in Draco’s lap, Head Boy/Head Girl, Inter-house Unity, Jealousy, Nightmares [Hermione], Presents/Gift Giving [Draco & Hermione exchange gifts], Promises Draco: Redeemed, Snarky Hermione: Emotional, Feisty Locations: Great Hall, Heads’ Common Room, Hogsmeade, Shrieking Shack, The Burrow Side Pairings: Harry/Ginny, Neville/Luna, Ron/Lavender, Blaise/Daphne, Astoria/Tracey, Seamus/Lavender, Dean/Ginny, Harry/Pansy Friendships: Draco & Astoria, Draco & Blaise Characters: Albus Dumbledore, Andromeda Tonks, Antonin Dolohov, Astoria Greengrass, Blaise Zabini, Daphne Greengrass, Ginny Weasley, Grangers, Harry Potter, Lavender Brown, Luna Lovegood, Minerva McGonagall, Molly Weasley, Narcissa Malfoy, Neville Longbottom, Pansy Parkinson, Ron Weasley, Theodore Nott Featured Holidays: Halloween, Christmas

Title: Once Upon A Rainy Day Author: tomfeltonisdeadsexy  Rating: M Genre(s): Drama, Romance, Angst Chapters: 1 Word Count: 6,668 Summary: When Hermione Granger-Weasley comes into work distraut and unstable, her co-worker, Draco Malfoy, takes an interest in it. Refusing to admit  her problem, Draco goes to desperate measures to figure out the mystery. In doing so, the two of them embark in an afternoon of finding out what really lies beneath the surface and come to terms with their most secretive thoughts.  Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Published: September 20, 2008 Themes: Adultery/Cheating [Ron cheats; Hermione cheats with Draco], Apologies [Draco], Co-workers/Office/Partners, Rain, Songfic Hermione: Emotional Locations: Malfoy Manor Side Pairings: Hermione/Ron

Title: Once Upon A Snowflake Author: strawberrykait Rating: G Genre(s): Humor Chapters: 1 Word Count: 4,201 Summary: Days before her wedding, Hermione receives two of the biggest shocks of her young life. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Holiday: Christmas/New Year’s Fest/Exchange: dhr_advent Published: November 23, 2012 December 7, 2012  Draco: Redeemed Locations: Ministry of Magic Side Pairings: Hermione/Ron [breakup], Ron/Harry

Title: One Author: Hesaluti  Rating: PG-13/T Genre(s): Romance, Drama Chapters: 35 Word Count: 69,394 Summary: A spell that will end all magic can only be stopped by the birth of a special child, The One. The parents of this child need to be a perfect match. Hermione and Draco are paired so can overcome their hatred to have a child who can save the magical world? Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Published: October 20, 2011 Completed: December 17, 2011 Relationship: Marriage Law Pregnancy/Children: Children Names [Amorette], Pregnancy/Child Birth Themes: Apologies [Draco & Hermione], Cooking/Baking [Hermione], Illness/Sick [Draco], Massages [Draco massages Hermione] Draco: Redeemed Locations: Hermione’s Flat/House, Hogwarts, Malfoy Manor Side Pairings: Neville/Hannah, Blaise/Ginny Friendships: Draco & Blaise, Hermione & Ginny, Hermione & Harry, Hermione & Ron Characters: Blaise Zabini, Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Neville Longbottom, Original Characters, Poppy Pomfrey, Ron Weasley Themes: Kidnapping/Imprisonment [Hermione], Wand Sharing [Hermione uses Draco’s wand] Draco: Death Eater Hermione: Feisty Locations: Malfoy Manor Characters: Fenrir Greyback, Fleur Delacour, Lucius Malfoy, Voldemort Warnings: Explicit Sexual Situations, Graphic Violence, Secondary Character Death, Torture

Title: One and One Is Eleven Author: RZZMG Rating: MA Genre(s): Drama, Romance Chapters: 4 Word Count: 10,788 Summary: On a bet, Draco Malfoy jacks a car, but can’t drive it. Hermione Granger, a witch who knows nothing of her heritage, offers to help him. Love & adventure await them both. Hot shag/romance. Based on “Pretty Woman” movie. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-war, Alternate Universe Fest/Exchange: dramione_remix Alternate Links: ff.net | LJ Published: September 30, 2011 Completed: September 30, 2011 Relationship: Engaged/Married (At Some Point) Pregnancy/Children: Pregnancy/Child Birth Draco: Broody, Sex God Hermione: Blushing Virgin, Bossy, Feisty, Makeover Themes: Alternate Universe, Bets/Contest/Contract/Deal/Dare/Auctions/Games [Bets], Endearments Locations: The Leaky Cauldron Friendships: Draco & Blaise, Draco & Theo Characters: Blaise Zabini, Theodore Nott Warnings: Explicit Sexual Situations, Mild Profanity, OOC

Title: One Day Author: DceptiveNocence Rating: NC-17 Genre(s): Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 2,588 Summary: Can one day change everything? Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, AU Fest/Exchange: dmhgficexchange Published: June 24, 2006 Relationship: Past Relationship Pregnancy/Children: Pregnancy Difficulties [Miscarriage] Locations: Malfoy Manor Character Point of View/POVs: Hermione

Title: One Day in Autumn Author: zpplnchick Rating: T Genre(s): Fluff, Romance Chapters: 2 Word Count: 11,724 Summary: After the war, Hermione takes a much needed holiday and escapes to one of the greatest and most populated cities in the world. It’s only natural then, as fate would have it, that she run into the person she least expected. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Published: March 30, 2012 Completed: April 16, 2012 Relationship: Engaged/Married (At Some Point) Themes: Apologies [Draco], Autumn, Coffee/Tea, Dancing, Endearments/Pet Names, Flowers, Muggle Life, Music [Draco plays the piano], Travel [New York, United States]  Draco: Draco’s Feelings, Healer [In training], Redeemed, Snarky Hermione: Feisty Locations: Malfoy Manor Side Pairings: Ron/Luna Character Birthdays: Hermione

Title: One Eighty by Summer Author: cmcferreal Rating: M Genre(s): Romance/Drama Chapters: 46 Word Count: 89,123 Summary: Four years after the War, Hermione has a successful career and a violent ex-boyfriend. After a confrontation at the Ministry she also has something else: a magical bond that runs blood deep. M rating is only a precaution Status: Complete Timeline: Post Hogwarts/Post War, EWE Published: October 23, 2012 Completed: March 7, 2013 Relationship: Engaged/Married (at some point), Lucius Approves/Is Nice, Narcissa Approves/Is Nice Pregnancy/Children: Children’s Names [Remus,Orion, Lyra] Themes: Magical Creatures [Veela], Secret Feelings, Bonding, Magical Items [Amulet], Affection, Cuddling/Spooning, Sharing a bed, Events/Celebration, Travel [America],Endearments/Pet Names, Injuries [Hermione], Dancing, Nightmares [Hermione], Royalty, Presents/Gift Giving, Quidditch/Flying, Substance Use or Abuse, Unbreakable Vow, Bets/Wagers, Curses/Spells, Potions, Apologies [Draco], Grief/Mourning,  Protection Draco: Veela, Business Man, Redeemed, Powerful, Protective/Possessive, Witty, Virgin Hermione: Ministry employee, Powerful, Compassionate, Emotional, Blushing Virgin Locations: The Burrow, Ministry of Magic, Malfoy Manor, Hogwarts, Draco’s Flat/House, Hermione’s Flat/House, Grimmauld Place, The Leaky Cauldron, St Mungo’s, Other Bars/Pubs/Clubs Side Pairings: Harry/Katie, Ginny/OC, Blaise/Daphne, Bill/Fleur Friendships: Hermione & Harry, Hermione & Ginny, Hermione & Astoria, Hermione & Daphne, Draco & Harry, Draco & Astoria, Draco & Ginny, Draco & Blaise, Draco & Arthur Characters: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Original Characters, Blaise Zabini, Arthur Weasley, Molly Weasley, Pansy Parkinson, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Malfoy, The Grangers, Theo Nott, Daphne Greengrass, Anthony Goldstien, Astoria Greengrass, KIngsley Shacklebolt, Katie Bell, Millicent Bullstrode, Lavender Brown, Minerva McGonagall Character Deaths: Ron Weasley Anti-Characters: Anti-Pansy, Anti-Millicent  Warnings: Explicit Sexual Situations, Violence, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme

Title: One Golden Ring Author: Meltha Rating: K Genre(s): Humor, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 2,989 Summary: Draco searches for the perfect engagement ring as a Christmas gift for Hermione. Unfortunately, there are just a few minor problems… Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Alternate Links: AO3 Holiday: Christmas/New Year’s Published: January 31, 2009 Relationship: Engagement Characters: Fleur Delacour, Narcissa Malfoy

Title: One Happy Christmas Author: Amethyst18 Rating: K Genre(s): Drama, Angst, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1,290 Summary: Draco gives Hermione a very special Christmas gift. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Fest/Exchange: dramione_advent Alternate Links: LJ Holiday: Christmas/New Year’s Published: December 24, 2009 Relationship: Already Married Themes: Endearments/pet Names Draco: Redeemed

Title: One hot afternoon Author: lyimee_lisa Rating: T Genre(s): Humor Chapters: 1 Word Count: 2,544 Summary: A hot afternoon in the Heads’ common room. The heat is unbearable. But one of the portraits witnesses an amusing interaction between the two Heads. Status: Complete Timeline: Year 7 Fest/Exchange: Dramionelove’s Spring-Summer Fest Published: August 7, 2013 Themes: Conflict/Bickering, Head Boy/Head Girl, Summer Draco: Snarky, Witty Hermione: Feisty, Know-It-All, Witty Locations: Heads’ Common Room Characters: Hogwarts Portraits [Original Character]

Title: One in the Oven Author: inell Rating: NC-17 Genre(s): Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1,568 Summary: Hermione and Draco share a moment Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, AU Published: January 1, 2005 Relationship: Already Married Pregnancy/Children: Children Names [Damien, Lucissa], Pregnancy/Childbirth Draco: Redeemed

Title: One Kiss, Two Kiss, Slow Kiss, Hot Kiss Author: UnseenLibrarian Rating: T Genre(s): Humor, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 2,400 Summary: Malfoy likes Granger. He invites her to dine. Things keep going wrong. Will it all turn out fine? Status: Complete Timeline: Year 8 Holiday: Valentine’s Fest/Exchange: dramionelove Valentine’s Fic and Art Fest  Alternate Links: AO3 | ff.net  Published: February 13, 2013 Themes: Apologies [Draco], Dates Draco: Redeemed Hermione: Feisty Locations: The Three Broomsticks Characters: Harry Potter, Madam Rosmerta, Ron Weasley

Title: One Last Drop Author: Megaera_1 Rating: PG Genre(s): Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 2,227 Summary: A rather earth-shattering day leaves Hermione with nothing left to drink and when she goes out to buy some more, she returns home with more than she bargained for. And no, it’s not an over-priced bottle of red.  Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, AU Fest/Exchange: dmhgficexchange Published: October 18, 2004 Themes: Alcohol/Drinking, Autumn Draco: Bar Owner, Redeemed Locations: Hermione’s Flat/House, Other Bars/Pubs/Clubs

Title: One Night in Australia Author: luvscharlie  Rating: MA Genre(s): Angst, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1,704 Summary: Six months after the Battle of Hogwarts, Hermione goes back to Australia to reclaim her parents and gets more than she bargained for.  Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Alternate Links: AO3 | ff.net Published: July 14, 2009 Themes: Travel [Australia] Draco: Manipulative, Snarky Hermione: Know-It-All Locations: Other Bars/Pubs/Clubs

Title: One Night In Bangkok Author: spikespetslayer Rating: PG Genre(s): Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1,927 Summary: After being hunted for so long, Draco and Hermione take matters into their own hands. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Published: September 8, 2009 Relationship: Established Relationship, Forbidden Love/Secret Relationship Themes: Endearments/Pet Names, Horcrux Hunting/On the Run [On the Run], Magical Items, Travel [Bangkok, Thailand] Characters: Harry Potter, Original Character Warnings: Coarse Language, Unresolved Sexual Tension

Title: One Of The Guys Author: OogieBoogie Rating: T Genre(s): Romance, Humor Chapters: 3 Word Count: 8,011 Summary: Hermione Granger is sick of being treated like ‘one of the guys’ by every single male she has ever met. She turns to Draco Malfoy for help. Call it lessons to ‘woman up’, if you may. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Published: November 15, 2012  Completed: February 18, 2013 Themes: Co-workers/Office/Partners Draco: Redeemed Hermione: Emotional, Makover Locations: The Burrow Side Pairings: Harry/Ginny, Ron/Lavender Friendships: Hermione & Harry, Hermione & Ron Characters: Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Lavender Brown, Ron Weasley

Title: One of the Monsters Author: galfoy Rating: M/R Genre(s): Angst, Hurt/Comfort Chapters: 9 Word Count: 32,306 Summary: Doubt was a funny thing. It was like a tick; harmless on the surface,  but when it burrowed in deep, extremely dangerous. For Draco Malfoy, successful Death Eater, ruthless soldier and proud Pureblood, it may just be his downfall. Status: Complete Timeline: War  Alternate Links: ff.net Published: September 15, 2014  Completed: September 29, 2014  Themes: Apologies [Draco], Cruciatus Curse [Draco is tortured], Curses/Spells, Forced Partnership/Together, Injuries [Draco],  Prophecies, Sharing a Bed Draco: Broody, Death Eater, Snarky Hermione: Animagus [Sparrow], Feisty, Order Member Locations: Malfoy Manor, Muggle London Friendships: Draco & Luna, Hermione & Luna Characters: Blaise Zabini, Bellatrix Lestrange, Luna Lovegood, Narcissa Malfoy, Poppy Pomfrey Character Deaths: Harry Potter, Lucius Malfoy, Luna Lovegood, Ron Weasley

Title: One Of Us Is Gonna Die Young Author: reetinkerbell Rating: NC-17 Genre(s): Angst, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 6,328 Summary: The changing relationship between Draco and Hermione throughout the war, as told in four moments of time.  Status: Complete Timeline: War Fest/Exchange: dmhgficexchange Published: May 23, 2005 Relationship: Forbidden Love/Secret Relationship, Friendship Themes: Alcohol/Drinking, Cuddling/Spooning, Sharing a Bed Draco: Order Member, Redeemed Hermione: Order Member Locations: Grimmauld Place, Other Bar/Pub Characters: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley

Title: One or More Author: MiHnn Rating: MA Genre(s): Drama, Fluff, Humor, Mystery, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 5,884 Summary: Draco’s birthday wasn’t supposed to be a memorable one, but it was. Now all he had to do was to get the witch he spent it with to admit that it was memorable too. Easy, right?  Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Published: October 30, 2011 Themes: Co-Workers/Office/Partners Draco: Broody, Redeemed, Snarky, Snob Hermione: Bossy, Campaigner, Feisty, Know-It-All, Manipulative Locations: Ministry of Magic Character Birthdays: Draco  Warnings: Implicit Sexual Situations, Mild Profanity, Unresolved Sexual Tension

Title: One Pleasant Memory Author: Musyc Rating: MA Genre(s): Drama, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 7,650 Summary: The memory of one stolen, forbidden night is all that they share, and Hermione remembers it all as she waits to be identified. Status: Complete Timeline: War, Year 6 Fest/Exchange: deflower_draco Alternate Links: AO3 | LJ Published: August 29, 2011 Themes: Injuries [Draco is injured] Draco: Virgin Locations: Malfoy Manor Warnings: Explicit Sexual Situations

Title: One Small Office Author: Blackfirm Rating: M/R Genre(s): Humor, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 3,445 Summary: Only Ginny knows that Hermione is in a relationship, and who she is in a relationship with. However, one drunken night changes that, and forces Hermione and Draco to decide where and when they should let everyone else know that they’re a couple. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Fest/Exchange: Otter and Ferret  Published: April 13, 2014 Relationship: Forbidden Love/Secret Relationship, Revealing Their Relationship Themes: Co-workers/Office/Partners Locations: Hermione’s Flat/House, Ministry of Magic, The Burrow Side Pairings: Harry/Ginny Friendships: Hermione & Harry, Hermione & Ron, Hermione & Ginny Characters: Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley

Title: One Step at a Time Author: thebigdisaster Rating: PG-13/T Genre(s): Humor, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1,209 Summary: First she assigns him to sensitivity training, then she kicks him where it hurts, and at the end…well I’ll let you see for yourself. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Fest/Exchange: dramione_duet Published: October 18, 2009 Themes: Baths/Showers, Dreams

Title: One Way to Frustration Author: daphne_minor Rating: R/NC-17 Genre(s): Angst, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 7,379 Summary: The frustration of being unappreciated and ignored takes a toll on Hermione, who is the sole person researching the location of the horcruxes. Status: Complete Timeline: War Fest/Exchange: dmhgficexchange Published: June 28, 2006 Themes: Adultery/Cheating [Hermione cheats with Draco], Horcrux Hunting/On the Run,Travel [Tucson, Arizona] Draco: Snarky Hermione: Feisty, Know-it-All Locations: Grimmauld Place Side Pairings: Hermione/Ron Characters: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley Warnings: smut & angst

Title: One Year by Moonlight Author: cryptaknight Rating: NC-17 Genre(s): Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 15,292 Summary: When Hermione is bitten by a vampire, she finds an unlikely ally in Draco Malfoy. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Fest/Exchange: smutty_claus Holiday: Christmas/New Year’s Published: December 5, 2012 Relationship: Friendship Themes: Art [Draco draws], Magical Creatures, Travel [Cadiz, Spain; Paris, France], Vampires, Working Undercover Draco: Librarian, Redeemed Hermione: Vampire, Wizengamot Member Locations: Other Library, The Leaky Cauldron Friendships: Draco & Sanguini Characters: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Sanguini Featured Holidays: Valentine’s, Halloween

Title: one year without light  Author: operatingroom Rating: K+/PG/PT Genre(s): Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 2,653 Summary: No Summary Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Fest/Exchange: dmhgficexchange Published: January 30, 2008 Themes: Co-workers/Office/Parnters [Hogwarts Professors], Stargazing Draco: Hogwarts Professor [Potions] Hermione: Hogwarts Professor [Transfiguration] Character Point of View/POVs: Draco [Second Person]

Title: One Year, One Life Author: Wingardium Leviosa 11 Rating: T Genre(s): Romance, Humor Chapters: 26 Word Count: 87,093 Summary: When Draco is forced to live with Hermione Granger for one year as part of a “reintroduction” program after the war, both of their lives get turned upside down. It’s up to Hermione to convince the Wizarding World that Draco is not a menace to society… but it’s up to Draco to first convince her. Can these two former enemies become friends? Or possibly even more? T, might turn M Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Published: May 27, 2013  Completed: July 13, 2014 Relationship: Engaged/Married (at some point) Themes: Cuddling/Spooning, Roommates/Housemates/Neighbors, Quidditch/Flying, Forced Partnership, Muggle Life Draco: Redeemed Hermione: Ministry Employee Locations: Hermione’s Flat/House, Ministry of Magic, The Burrow Characters: Ginny Weasley, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Lavender Brown, Lucius Malfoy, Luna Lovegood, Michael Corner, Harry Potter, Molly Weasley, Oliver Wood, Ron Weasley, Neville Longbottom Featured Holidays: Valentine’s Day

Title: One-time enemy, one-time lover Author: Audrey414 Rating: NC-17 Genre(s): Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 3,940 Summary: At the Second Celebration of Voldemort’s defeat, Hermione finds some alone time to remember the past. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Fest/Exchange: Malfoy Manor Fic War Published: July 14, 2012 Themes: Events/Celebrations Draco: Redeemed

Title: One’s Definition of Self  Author: CherryWolf-chan Rating: M Genre(s): Romance, Humor  Chapters: 1 Word Count: 6,060  Summary: You know, most blokes go to Paris, or Milan, or Prague, or Venice, or even bloody Knockturn Alley for their honeymoon! But me? Oh no. I had to go and marry the brains of the Golden Trio! Hermione Granger, who sees nothing wrong with ruining a man’s honeymoon by dragging him off to spy on Death Eaters! She’s either certifiably insane, or the kinkiest witch I’ve ever met! Status: Complete Timeline: War Published: June 24, 2013  Completed: June 24, 2013  Relationship: Already Married Pregnancy/Children: Pregnant Themes: Spying, Working Undercover, Interrogations, Dark Mark, Death Eaters, Potions [Veritaserum], Slytherin Friendship Draco: Order Member Hermione: Order Member Locations: Malfoy Manor, Grimmauld Place Friendships: Draco & Theo, Draco & Blaise, Draco & Marcus, Hermione & Harry, Hermione & Ron Characters: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Theo Nott, Blaise Zabini, Marcus Flint, Nymphadora Tonks, Charlie Weasley, Lucius Malfoy, Voldemort, Bellatrix Lestrange, Remus Lupin 

Title: Only a Pretense Author: WickedlyAwesomeMe Rating: T Genre(s): Romance, Drama Chapters: 42 Word Count: 256,474 Summary: In order to save her parents, Hermione Granger had to give up everything, even her identity… and femininity.  Status: Complete Timeline: Year 7, War Published: October 27, 2010  Completed: September 4, 2011 Relationship: Friendship, Narcissa Approves/Is Nice, Progressive Themes: Alcohol/Drinking, Apologies [Draco and Hermione], Cruciatus Curse [Hermione], Events/Celebrations [Common Room Party], Gender Switch [Hermione is disguised], Illness/Sick [Hermione], Magical Creatures [Hags], Magical Items, Presents/Gift Giving [Draco and Hermione exchange gifts], Quidditch/Flying Draco: Death Eater, Draco’s Feelings, Emotional, Order Member [Spy], Protective/Possessive, Quidditch Player [Captain; Seeker], Redeemed Hermione: Death Eater, Emotional, Feisty, Healer [becomes one], Order Member, Slytherin, Spy [for the Order] Locations: Black Lake, Diagon Alley, Great Hall, Headmaster’s Office, Hogsmeade, Hogwarts Kitchen, Hogwarts Library, Honeydukes, Knockturn Alley, Malfoy Manor, Muggle London, Quidditch Pitch, Potions Class, Room of Requirement, Slytherin Dungeons, St. Mungo’s, Visiting Opposite Hogwarts House [Hermione visits Slytherin Dungeons/Table] Friendships: Draco & Blaise, Draco & Theo, Hermione & Harry, Hermione & Blaise, Hermione & Theo Characters: Albus Dumbledore, Bellatrix Lestrange, Blaise Zabini, Ginny Weasley, Grangers, Harry Potter, Lucius Malfoy, Minerva McGonagall, Narcissa Malfoy, Poppy Pomfrey, Ron Weasley, Severus Snape, Theodore Nott Anti-Characters: Anti-Lucius Pro-Characters: Pro-Narcissa Character Deaths: Theo 

[ao3feed-mileven]

Jane Wheeler, #1 Pornstar in the World

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2xf3OIr

by Anonymous

Mike and Jane Wheeler had a love unlike any other. They shared traumatic experiences as kids which ultimately made their bond unbreakable. But when Jane decided to enter the porn industry a few years after marriage, Mike felt forced to support her. Mike was mostly happy with her doing porn despite the insecure and negative thoughts that would come and go as a result. Still, Mike was happy because she was happy, and that's all that mattered. Right?

Words: 3558, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Stranger Things (TV 2016)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/M

Characters: Mike Wheeler, Eleven | Jane Hopper, Maxine "Max" Mayfield

Relationships: Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler, Eleven | Jane Hopper/Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Eleven | Jane Hopper & Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Eleven | Jane Hopper/Original Male Character(s)

Additional Tags: Mike and Eleven are married, Takes place in the 90s when they're adults, Porn With Plot, Shameless Smut, All of the seasons are still cannon in this story, El is a pornstar, Mike is supportive of her, Maybe Mike is a little insecure, tags will be updated as story continues

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2xf3OIr

[maychorian]

Weekly Voltron Fic Recs #44

Rules: You can find past weekly rec lists here, and non-list recs in my general fic rec tag. Also follow @maychorianrecs for individually tagged posts, the easier to search and reblog. This is stuff I like, and I have a huge bias toward Lance, hurt/comfort, and general fluff, in that order. Gen unless otherwise noted. Please comment on the fics if you read and enjoy them!

The Monster in the Mirror by squirenonny Words: 42,621 Author’s Summary: Keith pulls Shiro from a dying Galra ship. He’s injured, severely dehydrated, and barely conscious–but he’s alive, and Keith has to believe that’s enough. But as Team Voltron struggles to piece itself back together, Shiro begins to wonder whether something in him has broken beyond repair. Light-years away, Matt Holt pulls Shiro out of a pod in a Galra laboratory. All Shiro remembers about his captivity is the phrase “Operation Kuron” and a face identical to his own staring back at him through the open door. Now Shiro and Matt have to track down Team Voltron before Haggar’s machinations tear them apart. My Comments: Shatt at the end. I absolutely love this take on what happens after Season Three. All of the characterization is wonderful, and I love how the fic deals with Kuron and his relationship with the rest of the crew. Adding in Rebel Matt just brought it up to eleven. It was exciting and heartfelt and had a great flow–once I started reading it, I didn’t stop. The fic also set aside some time to deal with Lance’s insecurities, which was really, really lovely. I enjoyed this thoroughly.

Synergy by Kokochan Words: 74,064 Author’s Summary: The vines were large, stiff, gnarly, and thick-stemmed, with blue leaves as big and round as dinner plates, but Shiro’s battle-arm was able to sever several long straggles with ease. The vines draped easily enough over the shuttle and hid it quite handily from view. “Good enough, I suppose,” Shiro said, glaring at the empty greenish-blue sky. “Come on, let’s… Hunk? What’s the matter?” Hunk was staring at something behind him. “Shiro, don’t make any sudden moves just now, but there’s a really big lizard thing standing right behind you. Um. Two of them.” Surprised, Shiro turned, albeit carefully. He’d never even heard them approach. That was rather impressive, considering the size of the beasts. It was as though someone had taken a pair of Arizonan horned lizards and rebuilt them more on the lines of a tiger without leaving out any of the spikes, then expanded them to about the size of an Indian elephant and added six large, intelligent blue eyes. Understandably, Shiro froze in place. My Comments: This fic is more focused on OCs than I typically enjoy, but it’s all about the worldbuilding. This take on Galra society is definitely an AU, but it’s so cool, and the fic really does its own thing. It’s very well-written and enjoyable to read, and there’s plenty of team bonding and good characterization for Team Voltron as well as the OCs. Give it a shot. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised, as I was.

Say My Name by showmethelions (sightandsound3733) Words: 1,996 Author’s Summary: The Castle’s malfunctioned again, leaving an injured Paladin a little worse for wear. My Comments: Oh gosh, poor Shiro. Poor Pidge. This is heartbreaking.

VLD Whump Week by Rangergirl3 Words: 2,489 Author’s Summary: Day 1: Fever Keith gets a fever. I guess this is…sort of set around the beginning of Season 3? My Comments: Nice pair of fics featuring hurt!Keith and some good team support. This author’s stuff is always so intense, especially when it involved Keith.

Just Enough to Fly by mckinlily Words: 1,814 Author’s Summary: It’s not that the Lion’s don’t want to work with their new paladins. It’s just each Lion has a very distinct way to communicate—and not one everyone understands. Keith, Lance, and Allura struggle to adjust to the Lion swap. My Comments: I really like this sort of meditation on how Black, Red, and Blue are different, and how that presents difficulties for their new paladins. It makes a lot of sense.

Late nights, and Long talks by TheBlackLagoon Words: 1,404 Author’s Summary: Lance can’t sleep, and apparently neither can Red. Lance shares some stories, and she listens. (This is literally just a way of giving Lance the hug he deserves) My Comments: Aw, so cute. Lance and Red deserve to bond.

The Drone Disadvange by spitfire00 Words: 3,392 Author’s Summary: Pidge suffers the consequences of her previous battle. Allura helps soothe her mind. Sequel to “The Drone Advantage” My Comments: Poor Pidge. Being the last one standing isn’t easy, even when you manage to save everyone else. Great follow-up to a great fic.

Comb through by dragonesdepapel Words: 1,693 Author’s Summary: The strands brush her neck again, the pencil skitters away to the other side of the room, and Pidge is one slight inconvenience away from giving up on this project altogether. My Comments: The Garrison Trio is so good and adorable, always. Love Hunk and Lance giving Pidge sibling-like attention and care.

The Worst Part by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions) Words: 2,550 Author’s Summary: The problem with having identical immune systems is what hits one hard also takes down the other. Shiro and Ryou deal with it My Comments: Absolutely adorable continuation of a series in which Shiro’s clone is rescued and becomes his twin brother, basically. The sibling bantering and fighting in this fic is super cute. And adorable. Did I mention adorable?

Little Crystals by VelkynKarma Words: 448 (1/?) Author’s Summary: A collection of prompts & fills from tumblr, finally being assembled on AO3 by popular demand. Different prompts feature different themes and characters, but all stories will be platonic. Ratings range from general to teen, lengths are entirely unpredictable. My Comments: You should just go ahead and subscribe to this now, because everything velkynkarma writes is amazing. I’m really glad she’s collecting these on AO3 so I can comment on them more easily.

Five Wars and a Moment of Peace by MoonlitWaterSunnyRiver Words: 2,823 Author’s Summary: In every universe, Shiro is a soldier. It’s part of who he is. In some universes, he fails. Those are the ones he remembers. My Comments: Tagged as possible romantic Sheith but can be read as gen. This is an interesting and heartbreaking premise, well-executed. The fluff at the end is much appreciated.

Krypto the Voltron Dog by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions) for buttered_onions Words: 8,380 Author’s Summary: “krypto the amazing space-pup. the bestest space-pup of all” -Butteredonions On a mission, Shiro finds a dog. An Earth dog. My Comments: Absolutely adorable and delightful and heartwarming in every single way. If anyone in the universe needs and deserves a puppy, it’s Shiro.

Whump Week by fairy_laughing Words: 8,978 Author’s Summary: Prompts for the VLD Whump Week August 13-20. August 13: Fever Keith is the fire paladin, he should be able to handle a little sore throat and mild fever, right? Right… (season 1, before leaving Arus) August 14: Hypothermia Classic huddling for warmth trope with a Shiro-Lance-Keith sandwich. (season 2) August 15: Near Death and/or Blood Loss Pidge knows a lot about the human body. August 16: Torture Coran is unbreakable. August 17: Insomnia and/or Mental Illness Shiro can’t sleep, won’t sleep, near Allura.August 18: Poison Diplomacy is also 1.8% avoiding poison. August 19: Internal Damage and/or Head Injury August 20: Free day! My Comments: Mild Klance in one chapter and established Shallura in another, but most of the chapters are gen. This is a great variety of whumpees, all a pleasure to read.

Mother Knows Best by Longpig Words: 2,467 Author’s Summary: When Lotor falls mysteriously ill, there is one person his generals can think of who may be able to help… but will she? My Comments: I find Lotor more interesting and compelling as a villain than likable as a character, so seeing him featured in a sickfic doesn’t give me quite the same hurt/comfort happiness as seeing my favorite members of Team Voltron. This is nonethless an interesting character study and perspective on Lotor and everyone important in his life, and I stories like this do help me understand the appeal.

Put On A Mask by StorySongs Words: 1,603 Author’s Summary: The team unexpectedly learns another one of Shiro’s triggers. My Comments: Everyone does such a great job of supporting Shiro in this. It was a punch out of the blue, but they dealt with gracefully.

The Most Brilliant Stars by wordsaplenty Words: 5,442 Author’s Summary: We Galra have many advanced methods of interrogation and torture. But me, I’m a fan of more, old fashioned, techniques. His hands settled on a serrated knife, at least six inches long. “So, Red Paladin,” he sneered, moving to stand next to Keith, “I believe it would be a waste of my time to ask you questions. You do not seem to be the type to let go of secrets.” Suddenly he plunged the knife into Keith’s shoulder, giving it a twist. **Belated Entry to VLD Whump Week: Day Four: Torture My Comments: Brutal beginning, and the recovery time is not without its bumps. Great character moments, though, and a satisfying resolution.

Must be Mice by vrepitsals Words: 1,459 Author’s Summary: Coran is running. He’s running with the fate of the universe on his shoulders. He’s running to their final destination, their last option, the zero point zero zero one percent chance they have of survival, of finding a way out of this mess. My Comments: You’ve heard the crack theory that the mice are the original paladins? Here’s a surprisingly angsty exploration of that premise.

Voltron Whump Week 2017 by hufflepirate Words: 8,969 Author’s Summary: I didn’t do the whole week, but I did end up with some monster fics when I meant to write microfics. (Well, not that monster. Just… 4k is not micro.) Day 2 - Hypothermia - Hunk fights his way through the snow to get everyone back to their lions after a diplomatic meeting. He isn’t fast enough to keep Lance from getting hypothermia, but Blue is waiting for them and everyone’s ready to support each other. Also features LOTR jokes. Day 4 - Torture - Coran hangs from his wrists and thinks back on his training in resisting torture. He’s happy to think Allura’s far away, safe with her lion, but she has some thoughts of her own about letting him be in pain. She isn’t her father, but he’d give just as much for her. Day 6 - Poison - Allura and Hunk are poisoned at a diplomatic dinner. Hunk knows what to do in the immediate moment, and the rest of the team is there to fix it afterward. Allura and Hunk grow closer through the experience. My Comments: These are some of my favorite works to come out of Whump Week. I especially loved the Coran-focused fic. Such cool worldbuilding in the midst of a terrible situation, and the ending with Allura was so beautiful and fitting. Highly, highly recommended.

Sabbatical by eugyne (AreteNike) Words: 2,641 Author’s Summary: There are a few moments of clarity in the hell Shiro lives, but not many. My Comments: Superhero AU in which Shiro is being mind-controlled by Zarkon until Matt sets him free. Short but intriguing and well-written.

For One So Small by Stratagem Words: 1,407 Author’s Summary: Eleven-year-old Lance gets to hold his baby sister for the first time and ends up naming her. My Comments: It’s so fluffy I’m gonna die.

A Sky of Stars by Bandity Words: 2,797 Author’s Summary: Lance was having a good night. So he wasn’t really sure how he ended up lost and wandering around the woods alone. His team would come for him, right? My Comments: A little more on the lighthearted side, but still a rough road for Lance, poor dear. Good thing the team found him quickly.

The Reluctant Soldier by Bandity Words: 4,167 Author’s Summary: Lance is badly injured on a mission and struggles with his role as sharpshooter. My Comments: Absolutely FABULOUS aftermath in this one. Lance goes through both a physical and emotional wringer, and needs support from every single one of his teammates to get back in fighting form. This is one of my favorites.

Lava by bookwormgir1LH Words: 1,339 Author’s Summary: Sometimes you have to get inventive to avoid boredom. My Comments: The floor is lava in space! Absolutely adorable. I love that Allura and Coran get in on the game.

So Cold Even My Hair Is Numb by wordsaplenty Words: 2,479 Author’s Summary: It was cold. That was Keith’s first thought. Why was it cold? Where was he? Why was it dark? Last he remembered there was a fight? Right? He had a job to do, he was supposed to help Lance. Lance! AKA what happens when, one conscious and one unconscious, paladins are stuck in a dark lion with the temperature rapidly dropping. **Belated entry to VLD: Whump Week: Day 2 Hypothermia My Comments: Tense and suspenseful. Whump week is the gift that keeps on giving.

lacerate by againstmygreeleaf Words: 26,012 Author’s Summary: A collection of one-shots for Voltron Whump Week! 1: Fever- Wherein Hunk’s nausea is not caused by his anxiety. 2: Hypothermia- Wherein Keith gets a taste of the Blue Lion’s element. 3: Near Death and/or Blood Loss- Wherein Pidge and Hunk find themselves in a tight spot. 4: Torture- Wherein Allura is set up and pays the price. 5: Insomnia and/or Mental Illness- Prompt modified to be Mental Torment, essentially. Wherein Shiro perceives a series of particularly unfortunate events and much more. 6: Poison- Wherein it’s Pidge vs Nature. My Comments: Every single one of these is absolutely fantastic, but probably chapter five with Shiro is the most devastating. There’s a lot of gore, so be aware of that, but I love the character interactions, and the comfort after the hurt is usually enough to make up for what the characters have been through. At least somewhat. Lance is particularly adorable and supportive and sweet, and for once he’s not the one getting hurt. Much.

Worst Case Scenario by stover Words: 8,711 Author’s Summary: Pulled out of a cryo-pod and into a devastated world, 18-year-old Lance McClain meets a veteran survivor of a global epidemic that was supposed to have ended ten years ago. My Comments: The action scenes in this fic are incredibly intense and well-written, and the setup is incredibly intriguing and feels like it has the potential for much, much more. It’s marked as the first story of a series, so I’m looking forward to seeing what happens next.

Worst Case Scenario by stover Words: 8,711 Author’s Summary: Pulled out of a cryo-pod and into a devastated world, 18-year-old Lance McClain meets a veteran survivor of a global epidemic that was supposed to have ended ten years ago. My Comments: The action scenes in this fic are incredibly intense and well-written, and the setup is incredibly intriguing and feels like it has the potential for much, much more. It’s marked as the first story of a series, so I’m looking forward to seeing what happens next.

Take These Broken Wings by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions) Words: 27,867 Author’s Summary: When Shiro disappears, the Black Lion goes dead, the team struggles under the new understanding of what it means to fight a war, and changes in leadership. Stepping into the position is difficult, and Keith doesn’t know the right answers.But then they hear a radio transmission about the return of the Champion. My Comments: Heartwrenching and messy, but completely believable, from the character interactions to the final resolution. Shiro goes through hell, AGAIN, and he does not come out unchanged.

Previously Recced Fics That Updated:

Ten Days (58957 words) Truce (180865 words) Scattered (75718 words) - now complete familiar (100126 words) - now complete As Color Fades Away (132309 words) Gate Keeper (91441 words) The Ones Who Were Left Behind (41869 words) Fusion Confusion (19269 words) The Wounds We Heal, and Those We Don't (22034 words)  - now complete

[sorcerusdragonbionics]

Reading List 7/14-7/20

Only a google link because I went to update this and it kidnapped all my Tumblr formatted stuff. https://docs.google.com/document/d/12lrphSAHIEbNqcnL3DStEewJnZ78zELj_HG35MC2hBY