#ancient Digon

[dougielombax]

I’m sorry Orbsman.

I don’t speak Ancient Digon or Block Transfer Computation.

Or whatever that was.

[ithrowshoesatconservatives]

At long last, the complete list of obscure things I’ve googled out of boredom

The SADPERSONS scale (a way of measuring a person’s risk of suicide)

Medieval PTSD, especially in knights

The various times the Cuyahoga River caught fire

A 1953 hockey match where a player started dancing with the referee (reports say the ref did not enjoy it)

The crocodile’s dilemma (fun with paradoxes)

The hedgehog dilemma (definitely not fun)

Wheeler-Feynman theory (time travel stuff, tl;dr there are “retarded” and “advanced” waves, the retarded one moves forward in time and the advanced one moves backwards, and this leads to all sorts of insanity)

Mach’s principle, basically that matter across the entire universe affects the inertia of individuals

Godel’s spinning universe theory, also leads to more time travel stuff

Digons, because apparently two-sided shapes exist

Reports from 1178 that the moon either exploded or split in half

The 1999 Russian apartment bombings and the FSB conspiracy around them

The Martian mushroom cloud photo (picture below)

The blackbird of Chernobyl (basically just Ukrainian Mothman)

The 1996 Mount Everest disaster

The Televangelist mail bombings

Venusian jungles (for a long time people thought that the planet Venus was covered in rain forest)

The Wilkes Land Crater (a massive hole under Antarctica, origin unknown)

The Siberian Traps

Various figures in the JFK assassination (badge man, babushka lady, umbrella man, etc)

The Iraqi Highway of Death

Mothman sightings in Gallipolis, Ohio

Nuclear war in the ancient Indian text “Mahabharata”

The Cuban yellow balloons

Disguised oil wells in Los Angeles

Mothman sightings along the Ohio river

The Richat structure in the Sahara desert

The Manson family’s assassination attempt on Gerald Ford

Large amount of time spent browsing info on the deep ocean layers

The “Helter Skelter” scenario

This was all collected in one week.

[1787americanrevnerd]

The Beginning Part 1 (a marauders era movie)

I started to make a script for a marauders movie because the movie companies aren't going to.

Scene 1: Platform 9 3/4

We look at the different scenes of goodbyes and many different families saying it in their own ways. We briefly stumble upon our main characters. This will also be used for the opening credits. This goes on for 40 seconds.

Scene 2: the Hogwarts express

We see a young boy with glasses walking in the busy aisle of the Hogwarts express trying to find a place to sit. He soon sees a compartment with only one boy in it. The boy has well-kept black hair and nice clothes. The boy is looking out the window of the train longingly. James decides to open the compartment door and peek his head in.

James: (politely) 'ello, do you mind if i si' 'ere?

Sirius: (looking away from the window) No, I don't' mind at' all

James sits down looking slightly uncomfortable. They sit in silence for a while.

Sirius: (putting his hand out to James) By the way I'm Black, Sirius Black.

James: (shaking Sirius' hand) James po''er.

We see them sit in complete and utter silence for a few seconds before James decides to break the ice.

James: (uncomfortably) So wha' 'ouse do you reckon you'll ge' in'o?

Sirius: (looking annoyed) My whole family is in Slytherin, suits them too. But give it the way I would be in Gryffindor.

James nods happily with the answer that Sirius gave him.

James: (confidently)i be' i'll be in griffindaw, a 'ouse faw 'he brave an' noble. I don'' 'ave anyone 'o please 'hough. An' i don'' 'ave 'o be an example 'o anyone. Wha' abou' you, go' any siblings.

Sirius: (looking out the window in a daydreamy way) Yes, I have my little brother, Reggie. He'll be coming in two years. I have to set a big example as the heir to the (mockingly) noble and most ancient house of Black.

James: (happy and joyful, smiling) i do 'ope 'ha' you are an excep'ion 'o 'he 'radi'ion. Do you wan' 'o see 'he prankin supplies i go' from digon ally?

Sirius: (confused) What is pranking?

James: You 'ave never 'eard ov pranking?!

Sirius: (looking at James and hiding emotion) No I haven't. Can you please tell me what it is?

We then go to to the interviews of James and Sirius.

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Sirius: (being asked about James) James? He seems nice, but I'm not looking for friends.

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James: (being asked about Sirius) wha' 'ave 'is paren's 'augh' 'im! i mean 'e knahs no'hin ov 'he way ov 'he prank. I james po''er mus' save 'im from ro''in in 'eaven.

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James: (happy that he gets to explain his joy and passion) you see prankin is a fine ar' 'ha' da'es back many cen'uries. I' is where you pull a joke on a person aw make 'he subjec' ov 'he prank butcher's hook like a plonker. You, my good lad, 'ave jus' en'ered james po''er's school faw prac'ical jokers. Le' us star' wi'h pen and ink bombs.

We see a girl with red hair and green eyes walking with a boy who has long black hair and brown eyes. His hair is greasy and the boy wears a scowl on his face, unlike the girl.

Lily: (low-key excited) Hi can we sit here

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James: She's the one

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James: (staring at Lily in a kind of trance) sure you can si' 'ere. I don'' knah abou' 'im.

Lily: (standing up) Let's go Severes

Lily leaves angry with James. That hate will continue to come for the next six years of her life. We now see another boy come into the compartment. He is a mousy boy with blonde hair and blue eyes. He is also very round and shy. He knocks on the door of the compartment.

James: ( smiling) Come on in.

Peter: ( shyly sitting down next to James) Peter Pettigrew

James: (putting his hand out to Peter) James. Nah do you like pranking?

Peter: (Smiling) Yes I am rather good at it too why do you ask?

James: Well, i plan on bein 'he bigges' prankster 'his school 'as ever seen. An' sirius 'ere is my new colleague. You could also be par' ov my grea' mission. (now standing on the booth)genera'ions 'o come will remember 'he names ov james po''er, sirius black, an' pe'er pe''igrew!

Peter: Sure, I'm up for that where do we start

James: Oh i 'ave a pre''y good idea 'ah 'o star' our blinder journey. An' we are goin 'o need someone smar' 'o do i'. Bu' who?

Scene 2: the great hall

We see our characters so far and many other 11-year-olds at the great hall waiting to get sorted into their houses.

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Severus: (monotone) I am going to get Slytherin. I just hope that Lily is there with me.

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Lily: (snarky) I hope that I get Slytherin. I won't be able to live in the same house as those two idiots.

_________________________________________________________________________

Peter: (shyly) I am a little scared.

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Sirius: (standing straight) I am not getting Slytherin. I am going to tell that hat that if it puts me in Slytherin I am going to leave this school.

_________________________________________________________________________

James(Smiling):I faw one feel grea'

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We then see the students standing in front of the great hall waiting to be sorted. Many extras are getting sorted and we go to a new face. This boy has scars on his face and sandy hair. The boy looks awkward and looks uncomfortable with all the noise in the hall.

McGonagall: (sternly) Sirius Black!

Sirius goes up to the hat and sits their eyes closed worried that he might get Slytherin. The hat sits there for a few minutes. Then the hat opens its mouth and yells

Hat: Griffindor!

Cheers can be heard from the Griffindor table but many Slytherins shoot him a disappointed look. McGonagall takes the hat off his head and continues down the list.

McGonagall: Lily Evens!

When the hat gets two inches from her head it yells out its choice.

Hat: Griffindor!

McGonagall: Remus Lupin!

Remus goes onto the stool with the hat on his head. When the hat starts speaking Remus' flinches. The hat soon makes its decision.

Hat: Griffindor!!

The students clap for Remus. And he still has a look of shock on his face.

McGonagall: Peter Pettigrew!

Hat: (in a questioning voice) Griffindor?!

Next is James when he comes up before the hat even goes on his head the hat yells Griffindor. And James goes to sit next to his new best friends. We now hear one more name.

McGonagall: Severus Snape!

Hat: Slytherin

Severus sits down unhappy that he is not in the same house as Lily but he still goes and sits with the Slytherins. We now go to the Griffindor table and see James, Sirius, and Peter sitting next to each other discussing the prank they will pull. And Remus is sitting alone at another end of the table. Sirius then begins to stare at Remus.

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Remus: (being asked about the boy staring at him) It is creepy why would he do it. And why is he coming over to me?

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Sirius: (being asked about the staring) That boy is the one I want to be friends with. He is smart I heard him talking about muggle science and math. He is the one we need for this prank, me and James have to keep tabs on him.

_________________________________________________________________________

Sirius goes over to Remus and sits by him. James and Peter soon follow.

James: 'ello my name is james, 'his is pe'er, an' 'ha' is sirius.(pointing at each one as he says each of their names)

Remus: (confused on why these boys are talking to him) Remus Lupin. Um, why are you sitting next to me? And Sirius why were you staring at me?

James: (seeing Sirius' face) We were wonderin if you would wan' 'o go down in 'ogwar's 'istawy.

Remus: (in denial) Okay?

James: (using hand gestures) Well you see we plan on bein 'he bigges' pranksters 'his school 'as ever seen.

Remus: What does this have to do with me? I don't want to get into trouble!

James: You see, we need someone smar' 'o ge' on 'he inside, an' you knah keep us from ge''in caugh'.

Remus: (putting out his hand) You promise that we won't get caught and that I get to tell you when we will get caught.

James: (shaking Remus' hand) Yep if you're in charge we won'' ge' caugh'.

Remus: So how long will you need me?

Sirius: The prank itself will need a few months of prep work, plus we all have to do some pranking on the side. Also, we need to prepare ourselves for it, study lockpicking. Work on stealth, figure out exactly what we need. So we are currently looking at our whole first year.

_________________________________________________________________________

Remus: (being asked why he agreed) Well I want to have some fun this year. And I need to make some friends these guys seem eager. Also if it's only my first year then what's the harm. Partially because  I only understood half of what James was saying. ___________________________________________________________________________

Remus: What is the Prank anyway?

James: We'll 'ell you la'er.

Scene 3: the dorm room

Remus: So what is the prank?

James: Le' us jus' say 'ha' 'here will be poly juice po'ion involved.

Remus: Alright you weren't joking when you said a few months of prep work. But if we are going to do this I have some rules.

James: Wha' are 'hey?

Remus: Well I am going to need a few nights off every month. You know personal reasons, and you have to all learn how to break into the restricted section.

James: (looking at Sirius)

Sirius:(looking at James)

James and Sirius: Deal.

Peter: We should probably go to bed.

They all go to their beds and say good night to each other but Remus is still up looking at the top of his bunk. Little does he know that Sirius is not asleep either and watching Remus.

____________________________________________________________________________

Remus: (being asked about why he needs those days off) Well, so long as this is only between you and me tiny camera thing. I am a werewolf, I can't have them knowing because they would not want me to be part of their prank anymore. I need those days to lock myself in the Shrieking Shack so I don't harm them.

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Scene 4: Dorm room in the moring

Some peaceful music is going on but is interrupted by James slamming the bathroom door and yelling out

James: Wake up we 'ave classes 'oday! sirius ge' 'he 'ell ou' ov bed, you can'' miss breakfast!

Sirius: James, five more minutes.

James: Are you back 'alkin me?

Sirius: No ma'am

James starts to pull Peter out of bed when he looks over to Remus

James: Bloody 'ell Remus you butcher's hook like 'ell. Do you wan' 'o stay in bed 'oday?

Remus: (face facing the pillow) That sounds nice.

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Remus: the full moon is tomorrow and it's been taking a toll on me, there are other side effects as well. I have more of a prominent Welsh accent when the full moon is near, I am more likely to speak in Welsh or Polish when I am... sick.

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Scene 5: Transfiguration class

James: Do you 'hink remus is sick? 'e should go 'o madame Pomfrey

Peter: James we might need to listen. Doesn't Polyjuice fall into the category of Transfiguration.

Sirius: Yeah but she wouldn't tell us about it until 6th year.

McGonagall: Mr. Potter, Mr. Pettigrew, and Mr. Black is there something that you would like to share with the class?

Peter/James/Sirius: (quickly) No Professor

McGonagall: (doubtful) uh-huh

James: Ma'e, i 'hink she migh' 'ave phychic powers aw some'hin

Peter: It would make a lot of sense.

Sirius: (while packing up his books ad putting them in his bag) Well I'm going to go to the common room. Have fun staying with Minnie for another fifteen minutes.

McGonagall: To complete the spell you need to concentrate, have perseverance, and Mr. Black where do you think you are going?

Sirius: Well you see Minnie, Remus is very sick and I was going up to the common room to check on him.

McGonagall waves her hand and signals for Sirius to go and then returned to her lesson. We then follow Sirius to the common rooms.

Scene 6: common rooms.

Sirius: Remus you look worse than before.

Remus: I'm fine I need to get to class.

Sirius: No, Remus! What are you Loopy. Hey, that sounds like your last name. Loopy Lupin? Loony Lupin? Loopy Loony Lupin? Loony Loopy Lupin, yeah, I like the sound of that.

Remus: Whatever you say. Can I please go to my classes now?

Sirius: NO! You can't go to school!

Remus: Have to study. Have to get good grades.

Sirius: You can catch up tomorrow. First, you need to go to Madame Pomfrey.

James: Sirius, Mcgonagall gave you de'en'ion faw skippin 'he las' fif'een minu'es ov class.

Sirius: Then how are you here?

James: Well, i may 'ave aw 'ave no' se' off a dung bomb in 'he class jus' 'o slip ou' an' 'alk 'o Remus.

Sirius nods

James: Anyway, Remus, you need 'o go 'o 'he school nurse.

Remus: You need to carry me then

Peter: Remus you need to get out of bed! Madame Pomfrey can help you!

Remus: No seriously one of you needs to carry me

James: I'll ge' 'is loaf of bread, Pe'er you lif' 'is fee', an' Sirius go 'o 'is middle so 'ha' 'is back doesn'' become injured.

Sirius: Sounds like a plan

Peter: This doesn't seem to thought out James

Remus: Pumpkins are a fruit!

James: Seems like we are all in agreeance wi'h my plan.

(Scene 7)

Pomfrey: Why he- what happened!

Remus: Czuć koniec!

Sirius: He woke up like this so we told him to stay in bed to see if he would be better by the next hour.

James: Nah i''s even wawse an' 'e jus' star'ed 'alkin in polish. An' we don'' knah wha' 'e's saying!

Peter: He's going to be okay right?

Pomfrey: Of course, he'll be okay by tomorrow. You should probably get back to class.

James, Peter, and Sirius:  Yes Ma'am.

(Scene 8)

Remus is now at the table in the great hall but he looks sick and has a band-aid on his nose.

Remus: Sorry for setting us back we should probably start working on the potion.