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ourlittleuluru · 1 month

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_(:з)∠)_ It's a holiday today and even when I'm out for errands, Xavier still worms his way into my brain...

Ramblings about Xavier and his red collar ahead~ (story spoilers, be warned) Apologies first. I'm not the best with words or saying things out from my brain... so It might be a bit jumbled, or I might've missed some things <( _ _ )>

I'm not going to be talking about anything new. Theories and such be everywhere already, all that's been speculated is all out there ><;;;

It's just my brain, earlier in the day, decided to re-frame my thinking about the collar a bit and just letting all these thoughts out somewhere that isn't inside my brain... moving on ➡➡➡

So... what we DO know about the collar is that it's something restricting Xavier in some way. It's just not clear HOW it's restricting him.

Collar is also something of the Ever Company's property, most likely. Since there's an icon on the collar that belongs to Ever Company. At most, I would think it's from the Ever Company that is from the time during Anecdote 3. (What if... Xavier is the son of the Ever Company president in Anec3... 🤔 I mean he's got men in suits tailing him all over... but that's a thought for another day)

Up to today, my guess is that the collar restricts his use of his Evol, on top of other things. Restricting his Evol, in a way, makes him "weaker". Xavier is very good (I would guess) at using his Evol and it's powerful enough to cause huge light explosions too. So he's dangerous (to the people that wants to control him) and restricting him in that manner helps to keep Xav in check.

Unsure if the Evol Resonance here being strong is due to Xavier's Evol itself already being very strong... OR... that the two share a deep bond since times of yore and she was just able to resonate much easier and stronger with him.

Okay. Main thoughts and speculations down below 😂 I dragged this long enough, and I'm rambling on a bit much...

The collar, restricts Xavier's Evol and...

Xavier, always overdoes it and uses his Evol past the allowed limit.

It hurts him in return, but he usually doesn't care any ways. If it's to save people and MC especially, he WILL do it

He can choose to ignore the limiter, but it will only cause him to use even more of his Evol just to overcome the limiter AND do what he needed to do

So to explain, an example in terms of MP from RPG games: His Light Explosion usually costs 50MP. The Collar restricts his MP to be only 40MP. Now, for Xavier to use his Light Explosion skill again, he needs 60MP instead of the usual 50MP the reason for my above thought is simply because BOTH his Hunter's Watch AND Collar were warning him in his Myth

This makes him even more spent, makes him use 2 syringes to recover... and potentially speeds up whatever process is causing the BackTrackers on Earth to turn into Wanderers (???)

If he were to resonate with MC however, maybe he can bypass the limiter, me thinks. But obviously he is very aware that he can't abuse this.

There's a possibility that he will still get the side effects after that, maybe in a smaller amount... and it's also to protect MC herself

Uh... I feel like I had more thoughts to blurb out... but after this many hours I think I might've forgotten them... 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

~+~+~+~+~

And... this is how many times (that I managed to catch, that is) his collar has flared up: 6 times

(it'll be 7 if one assumes that when we meet Xavier, and he's sleeping... during that time he has already overused his Evol which caused the Metaflux explosion and was sleeping to "recharge", that his collar definitely flared red at that time)

Who knows how many more times before the Main story at this point in time (22 May 2024. Dating this just in case lol. Tumblr doesn't really show timestamps on the dash) that he's used his Evol til the collar turned red... and how many more times he is allowed to keep using it like that...

This feels to me like an unbreakable cycle at this point for Xavier... T-T

Both him and MC being each other's greatest strength and their greatest weakness 😩🥺👌

Ughhhh I feel the MASSIVE AMOUNT OF FEELS AND ANGST COMING WITH THIS MAN 😭😭😭😭 Please let this bebe live!

#xavier love and deepspace #love and deepspace xavier #xavier #churambles #also these is just a long ass ramblings i needed to get out of my head.... uh.... mistakes do be made and i may have overlooked stuff so...#I was JUST TRYING to take snapshots of Xavier and moments where his collar flashes red...#and I already accumulated like...#440 PICS!#I need help...#and more storage #<<;;;;;#this is how my whole evening went...#re-reading parts of the Main Story the Myth and Anecdotes #AND ALL THE SCREENSHOTTING I DID ToT

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paper-mario-wiki · 1 year

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ive exclusively been playing it by ear with the makeup (no tutorials or anything) and i somehow always end up looking like a secretary kind of so ive been practicing looking exasperated while wearing makeup cuz i figure i gotta work with what im given ya know

#image #thank you for all the kind words #i typically tend to stay away from full sincerity online because i think having a few layers between what you see and what i am is like #a reasonable safety measure for someone with a massive following to take #but i will say that im very lucky to have already accumulated a following of people so in support of *this* already #because it makes it much easier #theres still a lot of parts of it that dont feel real and probably wont for a while but right now #but while im just putting on makeup to feel pretty and posting pics for fun #before im ready to take a deep breath and fully commit to a shift of name and pronouns #just for right now #i appreciate it

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iam-anordinary-human-orami · 2 months

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Give me Nicky creating a video full of blurry photos and awkward 2000s transitions for Neil's bday (not the actual one, the 31st of March one) with the "Bitch" song by meredith Brooks.

Lyrics come up, "I'm a bitch" and it's a still of Neil roasting on press duty

"Im a lover" Neil stealing a glance at Andrew, a small smile on his face

"Im a child" photo taken from high angle of Neil looking up at the camera, indignation all over his face, a granola bar in his mouth

"Im a mother" Neil pointing at Kevin chewing him out while Kev is saying sth arms crossed on his chest (or better yet, Kevin and Jean walking to opposite directions but there's a leash around their chest that Neil is holding)

"Im a sinner" shot of Neil eating pinneaple on Pizza and Matt and Dan looking horrified and disgusted on the background

"Im a saint" meme of the cat with the dozen knifes at its throat but on the face of the cat is a poorly cropped picture of Neil raising his eyebrow

#aftg #all for the game #neil josten #i just think hes neat #nicky hemmick #kevin day #andrew minyard #dan wilds #matt boyd #the foxes #also i think Nicky would have been so proud to have accumulated all the videos and photos he could get his hands on #purely because Neil hates taking pictures #and Nicky as a true gemini would have held on to them trying his best not to let it spill what hes preparing as a bday gift #when they watch the video Allison is howling from laughter #Matt and Renee are trying their best not to show their tears from laughing #Dan is taking a video of Neils reaction for safe keeping #Kevin is like why am i ugly in most if not all of these and Nicky respons with this aint your moment Queen Day stfu #also Nicky has added very hot pics of himself at the start and at the end of the video just fornit to be clear who made this #Neil doesnt laugh at all but chokes when theres a random pic at the end of Aaron edited in the among us interface #and theres the word impostor above his head #andrew is already planning to get nicky to send him the video even though he doesnt react at all during it #tsc #jean moreau

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skunkes · 20 days

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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.

#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day #how they're already memories since moments pass so fast #everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever #and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed #it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily #so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day #ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been #the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief #and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately #id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again #like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night #one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys #i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i #hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day

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retroautomaton · 1 year

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⛽️

#I’m so sorry I’ve already fallen in love with drawing him 😔#I’ve made a design that’s like the accumulation of everything I love #robotic punk chaps jean shorts blue eyeshadow etc.#it’s so self-indulgent and niche #hopefully y’all like funny little guys built like a brick shithouse bc that’s all I’ve got going creatively right now #and I mean that in the best possible way they bring me joy #Yulis

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jorrated · 6 months

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*oc doodle from 2012 on a napkin* *printed copy of the communist manifesto* *notes from when i worked on a homeless shelter* *sonic the comic fanart from last week* *dostoevski book i didn't finish* *sketchbook with only 2 pages drawn in* *pendrive filled with pirated movies* * my literal honest to god passport* *porn i sketched now*

#im cleaning my room #*looks at the items in my desk* this hoe is deranged #this is not a joke btw #^ all the shit pilled up on my desk #the amount of dust accumulated on top of this desk is genuinely shocking #its a wonder how i havent died from. mold poisining. or something whatver #its like. tradition or wtv for me to clen my room beTween xmas and reveillon #but i hate it...... my room looks naked #wheres my lovely clutter </3333 #genuinely how do minimalists live #if i walk into a room thats too big with too little shit into it i already feel kinda weirded out #imagine living in a bland ass house

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mortellanarts · 6 months

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2023 go bye bye

#999 spoilers #art summary #art summery 2023 #my art #shoutout to all my monster high drawings that are still in the oven #I haven't posted them anywhere but! my friends made them pins and I've sold them on cons throughout the year :3 #I only started drawing them as a request from a boothmate actually and they're such fun designs to draw!!!#I went to a lot of local conventions to participate in the artist's alley and made so many friends that way it was wonderful #I think the next thing I'll reblog will be the game I worked on!#found out the nda doesn't cover me simply saying 'hey I worked on this thing coming out in a few months!'#so I made artist and cosplayer friends selling my art on the beach and I got my first proper job #....then I proceeded to give me a shoulder inflammation because my setup was terrible and it had to catch up to me eventually #but! already managed to get a new tablet and desk for myself!! it's even a screen tablet so there'll be a learning curve but I'm excited #I'm hoping this display will make things easier I always had trouble sketching on digital #and I am more carefully taking breaks now also because turns out relying on hiperfocus is bad for you? never knew #I was going through some stuff in the middle of the year there though I had so many vent drawings of akane from may to october qwq #not featured here are the tons of utena and umineko wips I have accumulated those were my favorite new media I got to experience for sure #in fact I'm watching the adolescence movie rn!! what in tarnation is this last act lol whatever! go Anthy go!!! floor it queen #also not featured the tons of oc stuff I made :D I'm glad I feel like I can start properly working on them soon ^^#but yeah that's that I felt like writing a whole diary entry in these tags and you read it and that's what tumblrs all about ♡♥︎

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kaus-quietis · 2 years

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the reason he doesn’t have a yet r e l e a v ed older brother is that we co||ective|y do not deserve a Mikhail

#bsd fyodor #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd fyodor dostoyevsky #bsd fyodor dostoevsky #bsd fanart #traditional art #fanart #unsolved and endless #anyway if you get me started on the bond of the irl Dostoyevsky brothers (specifically Mikhail and Fyodor) I'll talk endlessly and #accumulate oceans of t e a r s from the wholesomeness and d e s p a i r and for each tear I'll give you a reference from their letters #this is not even a theory it's just a c r a z y idea but in my head the books we see Fedya reading at Meursault were sent to him by Misha #just like in the crue| 1 8 4 9 when Mikhail put enormous efforts in sending lots of books & the localPetersburg literary journals to Fyodor #when irl Fyodor was imprisoned in the Petropavlovskaya Fortress between April and December (and spoilers: after that things got even worse)#(if I'm already using the short forms to distinguish the irl persons from their BSD counterparts)#even without this I still appreciate Asagiri and Harukawa for adding books to his pr!son cell as a nod to Fyodor across 1 8 4 9 - 1 8 5 4 #in my mind various theories of mine clash because what if there's a Mikhail around indeed or what if Mikhail is his ability?#this wouldn't make any sense but then again did the Natsume ex machina in ch50 make sense? certainly not but cat s!ns are forg!ven #closing thought is just that I adore drawing Fedya and his ability

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jojotichakorn · 10 months

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every time i research possibilities for me moving abroad, i want to fall down a flight of stairs or smash my head against the pavement. i'm going to transport back in time and tell myself to get a degree in something useful, because at this point i'm not even joking when i say the four years i've spent at uni have affected me in no positive ways whatsoever.

#linguistics is so wide and niche that none of it can actually be applied anywhere #like all i have are low-paying translation jobs HERE #skilled labour for moving abroad? no sorry all the knowledge i've accumulated over the four year period has not made me skilled in anything #i've started considering getting a postgrad degree in something else but even that is insanely restricted because #and idk if you got this point already #but my bachelors degree is fucking useless and doesnt apply to basically anything #i fucking hate my life #why do i have to claw my way through it just to be safe #archer's unrelated

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cntrpt · 1 year

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Yup, Guardian's of the Galaxy 3 is definitely NOT a light movie, nope

aka: I liked it very much but I need to recover

#BUT it did make me put in a different perspective everything that was bothering me before #like I went in already worried about stuff that had accumulated through the day #and then I was so shook by the end of the movie that all my problems finally felt manageable #so it's a win(?)#anyway mantis best character periodt #guardians of the galaxy #gotg #gotg vol 3 #spoilers #perhaps?#gotg spoilers

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dreampearls · 1 year

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honestly I went into the sumeru archon quest ready to hate nahida or at the very least be very indifferent to her bc I was so like. Tired of how blatantly orientalist every aspect of sumeru seemed to be + nahidas design compounded w the fact that she's an archon using the chibi model reaaaalllly did not leave a good impression. .....However !! ! I actually ended up really liking her as a character despite my reservations. i think she might be my favorite archon if I'm going to be honest

#like i reallt really despise the 500 year old entity who looks like a 5 year old trope #but i get why they chose to make nahida a child/resemble a child. & tbh the more that i think abt it #the more i end up understainding it as a creative decision #since a lot of the archon quest involved subverting what wisdom traditionally looks by sumerus cultural standards (the thing w dreams + the #hamfisted ''the arts are Useless and Suck'' storyline lol)#what better way to subvert the traditional model of intelligence than to epitomize it w the visage of a child?#ie someone who is typically regarded as one of the lowest in society precisely because of the knowledge they lack & frequently treated as #subhuman for it #despite the fact that they are constantly accumulating knowledge at a rapid fire pace & are more open to the world around them as a result #you can only gain knowledge if you realize & respect that you only ever know so much etc.#intelligence not being a show of what you already know but rather a willingness to continue pursuing & understanding others with compassion #its Nice i Really Like that #i think the decision to represent the goddess of wisdom w childlike curiosity as opposed to an older wisened type was a good one #i just hate that its Genshin Impact doing this #so obviously their primary reasoning behind making her a child is the far more blatantly insidious one

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bobzora · 3 months

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acheron so good she makes me want to complete gold and gears to unlock erudition blessings